#WHAT IN HOLY HELL WAS I THINKING

[the-fixatedmoth]

So...

I opened up my old wattpad account for some late night surfing to keep me entertained while I lie awake (not making this at 6:48am after a night of not sleeping whatever could you mean?).

Not only is my library a complete nightmare and so unbelievably embarrassing, but I looked back on some old stories I was reading and the COMMENTS I LEFT??

Someone needed to LOCK. ME. UP.

No way I got away with saying what I said, I was a dirty minded little miscreant who should not have had freedom of speech.

Granted, I was no worse than any other horny preteen surfing wattpad as a life style, but THOSE WORDS LEFT MY KEYPAD???? I'm disgusted and disappointed with myself (I mean go off younger me but keep those thoughts to yourself, no one asked to be gRAcEd with your comments, keep it d o w n .)

[teaboot]

If you somehow liked the Netflix Devil May Cry made by known scammer, crypto and Trump lover Adi Shankar, then I suggest watching no commentary playthroughs of the first 4 games and maybe even trying to watch the anime for the actual quality Devil May Cry experience without supporting a racist weirdo.

IT WAS WH AT

[skeletonsinmyass]

insane experience watching i saw the tv glow having just started hrt at 22. like yeah ..years passed by in seconds time was running out i was 19 then 20 then 21 and buried alive and suffocating then i was 22 and i clawed my way out of the ground coffin and i woke up in my body. theres still time but no one will save you. they can help you but they cant force you you have to save yourself

[probablyanalienindisguise]

I contracted a plague again thus am just sending random doodles I've done and just haven't posted yet

My secret (I enjoy using cat cuddling photos for references)

[juvinadelgreko]

crowning ronan lynch the undisputed pining king

[astranauticus]

Director of the False Last Act

[wackywatchdotcom]

the idea gets to me.... bc like gangle is consoled in ep 4 by the fact that zooble cares about her. its a few things that help her but theres a reason the episode ends w that. the two care a lot but zooble is the one that looks more like they have things handled. but see im not so sure they do. they have their own deep problems, with the circus and themself, like all of them do, theyre just more active about their decisions. gangles struggles vary but having people around her who care helps. gangle has seen the circus before zooble. zooble has never seen the circus without gangle. the idea of gangle meeting someone and returning to a world without them hurts my heart. i like to think that she could manage, and that zooble abstracting wouldnt lead her down her own terrible spiral, because i think the ideas zooble would have impressed upon her could help her manage that loss. but gangles already struggling just in general. it could go either way

and like smth abt the idea of zooble specifically abstracting is haunting to me, bc of all of the cast members, they would be the only one to leave a physical part of themself behind. theyre able to move limbs that arent attached, but it seems like theres a system in place for these things- their head and body are the main constants and they can move detached things likely only at a specific distance or in a given time frame. they arent constant parts of the.. meaning that if they abstracted, theyd leave many many parts behind, something that doesnt seem like its always the case. even extra accessories in the rooms seem more for decoration- zoobles parts were a genuine part of them, so the idea that they genuinely left effectively a part of them behind when no one else can do this.... falls over

[r0-boat]

I was replaying this game while a friend was watching

I WAS REREADING THE STORY.

I thought I seen it all.

I thought nothing in this game could surprise me...

And then this happened

Please tell me what's wrong with this image

(I swear to God if you guys send hate to these creators I will go after you please don't ruin my free entertainment (

[shallowseeker]

Basically, the Samwena of it all is something like:

SAM takes her prisoner, throws his weight *AROUND and makes weird demands surrounding her power.

It's almost like his character in Peace of Mind, if you think too hard about it, lol:

///

But here's the twist. Rowena also is a goddamned piece of work:

*Demon talks about equal work, equal pay* ROWENA SNORTS & says "Tear the man in half!"

///

RE: power

Samwena is also this:

ROWENA (s10): An angel of the Lord, the King of Hell, more power than I could possibly dream of, utterly wasted—

&

SAM (s14, to Chuck): Then why don't you do something? If I had your power—

[iamfuckingsorry]

"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.

Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.

Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...

And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.

Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.

[hammerhead-jpg]

I know I already posted this drawing once before but it bothered my SOUL because imo the rendering is so nice like I cooked so hard w it but their faces looked so fucking weird to me and I just needed to fix it up a little (also my Will design changed a bit)

Og under the cut....(Jumpscare warning)⬇️

I can't describe the relief I feel now that I can appreciate the top tier rendering that I did without feeling horror at looking like their faces

Like Nico WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?? he is directly behind you idc how far you turn your eyeballs you are not going to be able to see him!!!

[kattitude130]

i dont even know what to say

[your-unfriendlyghost]

ohhh god I think my brain’s broken or somethin cos at the sight of all the goddamn 9hr shift Saturdays and 4.5hr shift Sundays in my near future I legit bawled. Like I don’t DO that ok that is WEIRD for me. I miss having weekends. I should be BEING A TEENAGER ON SATURDAYS not standing in a small space for NINE HOURS

I genuinely think this is gonna be what makes me lose it

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

I can’t stop thinking about the fire and how everyone, literally everyone, including Blitzø himself, blames Blitzø for causing it because?

No? Tf he didn’t?

Like. Sure, it really seems like he did, from the perspective of the people in the tent, he left and the fire started right from there, they didn’t see the other guy holding the cake. From Blitzø’s perspective, he knocked over the cake with the candles, he started it, that’s on him…

BUT

So many things had to happen prior to that moment to allow that fire to start and more importantly, spread as fucking quickly as it did— to the point where I’m almost certain that if Blitzø had avoided that guy, it would’ve happened anyway.

First of all, this is a fucking circus tent. In hell. A giant piece of fabric draped over a bunch of wood poles, in HELL. This circus canonically houses those fucking fire horses, and I’d bet money that they had fire eaters/dancers, so why in the 7 rings was it able to light up that fast? Simple answer: despite having the money (the circus seems pretty popular) Cash fucking Buckzo cut corners and didn’t make sure shit was fire proof. Unsurprising on every level. It’s a miracle that it wasn’t lit up sooner.

Second, and personally what I believe to be most important, WHY IN THE HELL WAS THAT GUY WALKING WITH OPEN FLAMES IN A FUCKING TENT WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE COULD BUMP INTO HIM AND START A FIRE IN TBE FIRST PLACE??? Y’all wanna blame Blitzø for this? What the fuck would’ve happened when that guy tried to walk through the tent flap by himself with that open flame? Why was nobody there to walk in front and help him make sure NOTHING CAUGHT ON FIRE??? Why were the candles even lit??? Just light them inside???

Just—

Look. I’m not saying that Blitzø isn’t to blame for his actions after the fire. He made the choice the fuck up Verosika’s life, even if it was a trauma response and he has to own up to that. He constantly invades Moxxie’s boundaries and he needs to apologize and stop fucking doing that, but holy shit, give him a fucking brake on this one thing guys.

His reaction that day, stomping off heartbroken because his best friend and crush at the time just gleefully accepted a card from Cash that said “I wish you were my son”, is so fucking justified. If you think that you wouldn’t do that if it happened to you, you’re probably lying to yourself.

He turned around and bumped into someone, maybe shoved them a little, but at the end of the day, these are actions that occur literally everyday, with absolutely zero consequences, that even ignoring everything else I said, I still wouldn’t place the blame of the fire on him and the fact that not one single person in his life felt the same tells me that Blitzø had already been playing scapegoat his entire life prior to that.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so obsessed with how your cherik is old married couple raising 15 children (which is basically what they are tbh)

i always tell myself i draw what i observe and what im observin is two on-and-off divorced old men trading custody agreements like a diabolical game of ping pong

[artorphanage]

I recently got diagnosed with autism. The doctor said I've been in autistic burnout for the past 5 years and im tipping into DPDR (she was right but its too late, my baseline has been aware but temporally fragmented. The new development is sometimes i feel 0 sensation)

The doctor said i can fix this if I unmask and do things like wear compression gear and noise cancelling

turn my devices to greyscale

Live in dim lighting

She gave me a lot of small tips and they were good at first but now I'm getting worse. I have days now where I'm too tired to stim, too tired to bathe, too tired for everything (except schoolwork for some reason) (all of these things I enjoy).

How do I fix it? I haven't had a hobby in 5 years. I don't want to be in burnout and I want to fix all of it. Does anyone have any tips? Anything at all? Theories? Fleeting thoughts? Hearsay?

The one thing I can't do is stop. I'm a graduate student and I'm working on thesis and papers. And also it's a secret. Or else I'll get brutally harassed and shunned (it's a very strange neighborhood)