zytes · 11 months ago
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
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ravenlilyrose · 2 months ago
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Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.
Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”
Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*
Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”
Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’
And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?
Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.
Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.
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dadbodbuck · 4 months ago
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can you imagine the fucking stories christopher will be able to tell in college though. he's doing those shitty freshman orientation bonding exercises and he goes "yeah i spent one summer with my grandparents because i caught my dad hugging a woman who looked exactly like my dead mom. in hindsight they were both very mentally ill. my dad got better, no idea what happened to the lady tho" he's going to KILL at weird parent story time
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lovl3igh · 17 days ago
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"Rhaenyra tried to put bastards on the throne"
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i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice
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auspicioustidings · 3 months ago
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Man being the poor medium that Gaz comes to distraught after Soap dies. He's never really believed in this stuff but his grandma passed down stories of people who could talk to the spirit world and he's desperate.
You have few but loyal customers, you don't generally take on anyone that isn't vouched for by someone you trust. The only reason you see this guy is because one of your ancestors takes a shine to him, something about being friends with one of his ancestors hundreds of years ago back home.
What you did not expect was the fucking spirit you have just made contact with, rather than being pretty morose and contemplative as most newly dead are, being a raging horndog who spends more time flirting with you than trying to talk to his friend. Incidentally, this is how Gaz knows you're the real deal. Him and Johnny always did share a taste in women.
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essektheylyss · 3 months ago
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when you're hypercompetent and too busy to show up to the war council so you get voluntold into a stealth mission on the moon 😔
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nonasbirthday · 6 months ago
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Tbh? I don't like Paul. I don't want Paul. I understand that Paul serves an important narrative function and that Paul is the best possible ending for Camilla and Palamedes given their situation, personalities, and relationship. However what I really want is for Camilla and Palamedes to attend the ATN wedding as two individual humans and for Pal to be a lightweight who loses his tie in the garden fountain after three drinks and for Camilla to do exactly one shot with the group, keep Gideon from ripping the sleeves off her dress shirt, and absolutely kill it at lawn games during cocktail hour. Since this scenario is a wild tonal mismatch for the series and also Palamedes was already dead, this was unlikely to ever happen. However Paul is the final nail in the coffin for the theoretical existence of this scene and I can't help but resent them for that
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badangle · 1 month ago
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day one of training camp and he's already killed a reporter and spent an entire interview talking about how he knows his captain Intimately....
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rosesapphire2323 · 1 month ago
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imagine attacking Mondstadt though. 'oh you wanna attack mond? don't do that. they have one fanatic nun and another who hides knives in her nun dress. they have a workaholic acting grandmaster, and a witch for librarian who graduated from the akademiya early. they're friends with a wolfpack and a wolf god and there's this kid who literally howls at the moon. they have a princess...? from another world? they have a knight whose friendly interaction is calls for vengeance. there's this kid with the worst luck ever who's actually alive. the most powerful witches throw tea parties there. one of them has a student who can look at you and tell you when and how you'll die. another one of them has an arsonist daughter who makes bombs. for fun. she's shorter than your knee and she'll kill you. one of her big brothers is a witch-made alchemist and the other is khaenri'ahn royalty. whose brother is literally banned from snezhnaya by the decree of the cryo archon herself. oh did I mention the resident dragon.'
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chiscribbs · 9 months ago
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Grown Apart AU - Musical Style ✨
What is This Feeling from Wicked pretty perfectly encapsulates GA Donnie and Leo's first impressions of each other, so the musical nerd within me couldn't resist doing this (lol).
Context within the plot: After saving Mikey's life (by total coincidence), Donnie manages to infiltrate the Hamato residence as a spy, planning to capture the oozesquitos and hand them over to Big Mama, thus gaining her favor. Leo, however, sees through his act easily and has been keeping an eye on him since he arrived. Due to circumstances outside of their control - i.e. Splinter's decision - the two of them are forced to share a room with each other, which neither party is particularly thrilled about.
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I just found out that, apparently, Grown Apart has made into the @tmntaucompetition preliminaries!!!! ASDFGHJKJH;!! Thank you to anyone who sent in a nomination! I guess we can officially call this "propaganda" now, so look forward to seeing much more in the very near future!
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augentrust · 11 months ago
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"essek stays away post-canon because he doesn't want to endanger the nein while he's on the run" absolutely valid, but also i raise you: essek knows about the one (1) time the nein were in charge of protecting an important mage and she survived approximately one week before getting violently murdered while they were — direct quote — "havin' bacon"
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pstelwitchcraft · 2 months ago
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Since I was screaming at the TV at the cast forgetting all the cool stuff they've done, I've decided to live up to my blog name and list all of my favorite Bells Hells achievements:
Those towers in Jrusar are now forever haunted by a little girl with a flower basket
Won the deathwish race
Took down the Paragon's headquarters in Bassuras
Saved Imahara Joe and Dancer + united them to help save Exandria
Zephran tourists are forever banned from flying the glider thingies
Saved the city of Uthodurn from a massive celestial bull
Helped the Hearthdell village
Gathered and united the two shards of Primordial Titans bringing their powers back to life
Saved Keyleth's life after the Solstice
Were the first ones to infiltrate the malleus key and step on Ruidus that weren't Ruby Vanguard
Stablished communication between Exandria and the Volition
Exploded Ludinus' headquarters
Saved Evoroa and brought the first ever Ruidian to Exandria
Killed OTOHAN THULL
Reunited Imogen with her mother and are now fully bringing her to their side
Have met pretty much every single pc and important npc in CR history save for a few
Trapped Delilah forever and got the closest to killing her anyone in history could since she REFUSES TO DIE
Helped kill a Grand Demon trapped for a 1000 yrs under Aeor (tho I'll admit they mostly fumbled about for that one)
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dranktwocoffees · 1 year ago
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have i ever mentioned how genuinely happy i am that zuko ended up with a daughter. he'd be a great dad even if he had a son but theres no character in atla with stronger girl dad vibes. he just needed a daughter
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teacupsandcyanide · 2 years ago
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Something I miss from earlier eras of the creative side of the internet was things just being unabashedly low-budget. Just all unashamedly amateur, unprofessional, ‘I don’t own a good camera but I have a story to tell you’, ‘I can’t afford a good mic but I have a song to sing for you,’ ‘I don’t have any kind of background in editing or lighting and I only just picked up this guitar last Tuesday but here’s an entire musical me and my friends wrote about our favourite book, we filmed it on a potato and put it up on YouTube in ten minute segments because we thought it was pretty funny.’
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kvetcher2 · 3 months ago
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by getting botox and fillers and cosmetic surgeries you are actively participating in making the world a more hostile place for the women who choose not to do those things. you are actively applying pressure on those women. you are creating a world where women who don’t do those things are told they are “aging like milk” because no one knows what a normal, unaltered female face looks like anymore.
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