#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME PERSONALLY SPECIFICALLY I’M GOING TO CRY INTO A HOLE I CAN’T DO THIS NARRATIVE IT’S ONLY DYLAN LEFT YOU TOOK HIM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghost-proofbaby · 11 months

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who could stay? (you could stay.) (eddie munson x reader)

summary: you're convinced that being loved comes with a cost. he finds a way to prove you wrong. (wc: 9.7k+)

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Keep going, keep going, keep going.

Agree to run that errand for someone. Offer a shoulder to cry on for that person. Fix that problem for this friend. Keep going, keep offering, keep becoming indispensable.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact age you’d figured out the formula. You can never know for sure if the day was sunny or if it were rainy, if it were a calm December morning or a buzzing July night, but those details aren’t very important. The only important detail is that you had finally cracked the code at some point – you had finally figured out the solution to feeling unlovable. And that was that, truthfully, there wasn’t a solution. Once you were destined to feel this way, to feel so sour at your core, there is no easy way to rid yourself of that rotten pit. It would always be there – always churning, always burning, always yearning. Yearning to be loved, yearning to feel those waves of warmth cascading over your brain and down your spine, the ones others had always described to you but you’d just never… experienced. Never became familiar with.

It felt like everyone was playing an over-elaborate prank on you. They’d all conspired against you, invented a false feeling in which someone claims to feel loved, only to sit back and watch as you fumbled to find it. They’d laughed as you dug through a graveyard of relationships, caked your fingernails with dirt as you sobbed and would continue to claw deeper, trying to find just one set of bones that might hold that warmth for you.

The only solution to that detrimental feeling of being unlovable, was to feel needed.

You needed to feel so necessary, so essential, to everyone around you at all times. It never mattered how much of you it took. You’d give away every piece of yourself a million times over just to feel wanted at some capacity, even if that capacity were one you’d forced upon the other person. You didn’t care if you’d built the glass cages of theirs – you just cared that they kept you around to wipe away any smudges that appeared.

Being wanted wasn’t quite the same as being loved. And if you thought about that for too long or too often, you might just break irrevocably.

“I just don’t understand him,” Nancy sighs from the head of your bed, reclining against a wall of pillows you’d lined your headboard with. Two of which were body pillows. Long tubes of fluff to try and fill lonely spaces, you suppose, “Why didn’t he just tell me he didn’t want to go to the same college? Why… Why do I feel like I am forcing him to be with me?”

Because you are. Just like I force you all to need me.

“I don’t know, Nance.”

That bland, bitter, half-thought out answer lingers on your tongue, almost burns your throat with the whisper of say more, say something useful, say something comforting. It’s the whisper of those four words not being enough. It’s the whisper of that threat that those four words could be the beginning of the end, the thing that makes Nancy realize she doesn’t need you.

After all, what use is a friend that can’t give good advice, or be supportive during relationship rants?

You open your mouth to add on something sweeter, something to coat the conversation like honey and smooth out the lines forming on Nancy’s forehead, but she beats you to it, “I’m sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Yes. “It’s fine,” at least that wasn’t a lie – you’d dug this specific grave, had rooted down tooth and nail only to find another empty coffin of a friendship curtained with want instead of love. You’d all but asked for this, “What he did really was shitty. It’s not fair to you.”

The words are almost robotic, telling Nancy Wheeler what she wants to hear rather than what she needs to hear. You don’t always do that, you do make a point of investing in the truth from time to time to truly secure your position as someone who is genuinely needed in her life, but the headache nagging at your temples tells you it’s not worth the fight tonight. You’re tired, you’re agitated, and you really just want to get Nancy to the point of contentment in her rambling so that you can send her on her way.

God, you’re an awful friend.

It turns you quiet, a ricocheting thought that bruises your inner skull the rest of the time Nancy sits on your bed. The guilt eats you alive for that moment of irritation the rest of the night. Even after Nancy goes home, even after you’ve brushed your teeth and you’ve tucked yourself into bed. The guilt gnaws on the edges of that emptiness inside of you, that ever-present black hole that already existed, and says this is why you cannot be loved.

Maybe the pity party for feeling like a bad friend is what makes you a bad friend.

And maybe if you were a better friend, you would be loved instead of wanted for once.

It’s all part of a cycle, never-ending and treacherous. It’s always been this way. You make promises to your friends and rip yourself to shreds before remolding yourself into whatever they need; giving rides to the younger kids within your circle to the pool all summer which evolved into taking turns with Steve as to who would pick them all up after their D&D club ran late every Friday night, always lending a listening ear to Nancy once Johnathan moved away and she’d had to witness her relationship and her love vanishing in real time, always being the one person who will listen to Robin ramble for hours about her sudden interests. None of it was born of ill-intent, but when you’d go home lonesome at the end of the night, you could see it all for what it was.

You were trying to fill a void. A hollow rot, a black hole. And it was only working half the time.

Half the time, until he came along.

And make no mistake, his arrival was as bloody as anyone who had previously entered your life. For a while there, you believed his headstone was at the end of the line already, sanctioned away in this graveyard of the ability to be loved. He came crashing into your life on a random Friday night, and you had sworn you could already see the end as it began, but you had been wrong.

“So, you’re the infamous babysitter.”

His voice caught you off guard. You’d been sitting in your car with your windows down, enjoying the reprieve of a cooling autumn evening as you waited for the boys to finish up with their D&D club. With your head buried in the latest sci-fi novel that Dustin had recommended and would no doubt be grilling you on once he got in the car, you hadn’t even heard the club exit the school.

“Nope,” you fought a smile as you glanced up from the pages to see an older guy standing there, closer to yours and Steve’s age than the kids. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that this was the famous Eddie all the boys would ramble on about for hours on end, “Harrington’s the babysitter. I’m just the taxi driver.”

There was something particularly pretty in the way he threw his head back with laughter at your words. Curls that messily fell just beyond his shoulders, full lips disappearing as his teeth peeked through and shined beneath the parking lot’s lamp posts. His denim vest looked purposefully distressed with a mirage of patches and pins, and he was wearing a leather jacket beneath it, even if it wasn’t quite cold enough for it yet outside. He was cute – and watching him laugh because of you sparked something irreversible inside of you.

“C’mon now,” he sighed as his cackles quieted, “Give yourself more credit than that. At least call yourself something fancy, like ‘chauffeur’.”

“Ah, but ‘taxi driver’ insinuates that I charge them,” you don’t miss a beat, and your quick wit has him chuckling again.

You caught sight of his eyes, corners creased with joy – brown. They were deep, russet, tantalizing brown. Almost indiscernible from his pupil in the dark.

“I’m Eddie, by the way.”

You took his hand that he shoved through your open window with ease, and felt an immediate shiver run down your spine. Not quite from the cold, but not quite warm. You saw the first flash of his grave, and you knew you’d be digging your greedy hands into it soon enough.

As you gave him your name in return, you knew you wouldn’t be leaving well enough alone.

You had been half right that night. You wouldn’t be leaving well enough alone, you would be seeking out the impossible from Eddie – but so would he.

It quickly became apparent that Eddie was a pest. Someone who weaseled his way into the lives of others, who made his presence felt and never forgotten.

You’d started with the same slow dance as you did with every new person, a hesitant dipping of your toes into their waters, unsure if your presence in their life would only cause more trouble than you’re worth, when you quickly discovered that nothing could ever be hesitant or slow with Eddie Munson. He’s the one constantly reaching out to you. Driving the kids home now takes double the time it used to, long conversations being had with him that has the kids dragging you away, practically begging to just be taken home. The day he’d asked for your number, you couldn’t tell which one of you burned brighter red. And the moment he had your number in his clutches? Forget about it. You never heard the end of Eddie Munson, and you never really wanted to.

Unlike your friends you already had and loved deeply, Eddie was observant.

It’s within the first month of knowing you that he had picked up on your insecurities. Maybe he hadn’t directly seen that gaping hole in your chest yet, but he noticed your habit of running yourself dry to see others thrive.

The need to be needed. He picked up on it quickly.

“What about Sunday?” Eddie’s voice traveled over the line as you laid on your stomach, stretched out across your bed for a few moments of rest before you had to get up and take the cookies you’d baked for Steve and Robin into Family Video, just like you had promised, “I’m free then if I finish all my fuckin’ homework on Saturday night.”

Surprisingly, that phone call with Eddie hadn’t been something expected or planned. It had been impulsive; in a rare moment of peace, you found yourself craving to hear his voice. Somehow, the two of you had ended up trying to figure out a free day to properly hang out. Eddie wanted to go to Benny’s for milkshakes, and you wouldn’t turn down the free fries he also promised.

“I can’t,” you paused just to hear his predictably dramatic sigh, grinning as you continued to explain, “I’m taking Max to the skatepark that day.”

“And it’s going to take all day?”

“It could!”

“There’s absolutely no way.”

“You clearly haven’t seen that girl skate.”

The conversation continued, light-hearted enough with plentiful jokes made. Something about talking with Eddie made your heart lighter, the usual unbearable and contradictory weight of emptiness no longer on your mind as you listened to him ramble about something that had happened in one of his classes – a teacher tried to embarrass him when he caught Eddie doodling for a D&D campaign by asking him a question, not expecting him to know the answer. Eddie had, of course, leaving the teacher baffled with a smirk.

It’s all about my charm, sweetheart, he responded when you asked how he hadn’t earned a detention from that.

Only towards the end of the call, when the conversation finally lulled and the two of you found yourselves settled into a comfortable silence, did Eddie finally circle back to the beginning of your conversation.

“You know,” he started, “When I first met you, I never took you to be someone so…”

“Amazing? Wonderful? Funny?” you jokingly attempted to finish his sentence.

“Busy.”

Oh. You hadn’t expected that one.

“Busy?” you repeated back to him, “I’m not that busy.”

Your mind immediately started racing with thoughts of what he had meant. Was he feeling neglected? Maybe you should have canceled on Max on Sunday, agreed to Benny’s with him instead. No, you couldn’t bear Max’s disappointment. Maybe you could tell Max you had a time constraint, even though you knew she hated those when it came to her skating days. Was there any other plans you could abandon? Anyone else you could bear to let down for the sake of not leaving Eddie high and dry? No, no – all your other weekend plans involved going to the movies with Robin, helping Steve look into colleges finally, taking the boys to the Starcourt mall to shop for supplies to make figurines for their newest campaign. The room was suddenly getting smaller, your chest constricting, your head spinning. You couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing any of those people, no, but what about Eddie? Maybe he was right in feeling neglected, maybe you deserved whatever guilt was to come from whatever his next words would be. He was your friend, you were supposed to make time for h-

“Sweetheart,” he scoffed over the line, and you swore you heart stopped right then and there, “You’re the highest thing in demand since Cabbage Patch Kids last Christmas – and trust me, I should know how in demand those fuckers were. I worked seasonally at the mall, remember?”

Your breath caught. He was feeling neglected. You weakly began your apology as tears were already filling your eyes, that panic turning over itself in your gut, “I’m-”

“And it’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong,” It’s clear your voice had been too soft, too weak, for him to hear you, “Just means I’ve gotta fight harder to be worth your time, am I right?”

You had to clear your throat, but it did nothing to subsidize that anxiety that rattled your bones. It’s blatantly evident as your voice shook with a second attempt at an apology, “I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t mean- I can… I’ll… Just tell me when for Benny’s. I can make it work, I swear-”

“Woah, woah, woah.”

He had to have heard the tears that had escaped down your cheeks. The shake of your breath as you’d stuttered over your words, grasping for a solution.

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” his voice was soothing and soft, the most gentle it had been the entire night. You pinched your eyes shut and just tried to imagine those stupid, big doe eyes, those ungodly messy curls (you’d started to tease him about if he ever even brushed or combed them). The panic remained, but Eddie’s voice started to give it a run for its money, “I was just playing around. You know that, right?” he paused to give you room to answer, but your throat was still tightly squeezed by overwhelming emotion, overwhelming fear of having scorned Eddie, “You could only have enough time in your schedule to see me once a year, and I’d still be your friend. We could only have these random phone calls, even if they were never longer than a minute, and you’d still be worth it. You know that, right?” Another pause, another wave of silence from your end, “Sweetheart, you don’t owe me your time. And I don’t need monopoly over it for us to be okay.”

Each word made the panic settle. You weren’t sure how he did it. You weren’t sure how mortified you should be that he had only been in your life for a month at most, and had just overheard you at your most vulnerable.

All you were sure of was that you believed him.

“Okay,” you croaked, finally feeling that ring of fear loosen, vocal chords finally functioning once more.

“Okay,” Eddie repeated back in that same gentle, soothing, soft tone.

You weren’t disappointing him. You weren’t making him feel neglected. He still found use for you, he still wanted you around – he still needed your friendship. That had to be enough.

It was quiet over the line for a few moments.

It has to be enough, you reminded yourself.

“Say,” you finally said, voice back to normal strength and the tears having dried themselves up for the most part. Your heart had almost returned to normal rhythm, “How does Benny’s sound tonight?”

“Tonight?” he chimed back, sounding as excited as a little kid the morning of a cherished holiday, something like Christmas.

A shiver ran down your spine. It’s not from the cold, and you tell yourself it’s not quite warmth – it can’t be warmth.

“Tonight,” you confirmed, “With a detour by Family Video, if you don’t mind. I’ve got a special delivery of cookies to fulfill.”

“What kind?”

“Excuse me?”

You were grinning - God, you were a pathetic fool, grinning and clutching onto that phone like a lifeline. Like if you let go of it, you’d lose his voice, and if you lost his voice, that would be the end of the world.

“What kind of cookies?”

“Chocolate chip.”

He hummed, not answering right away as if he were deliberating this information. When he finally spoke again, another shiver wrapped around your spine, spinning down, down down. Waves of what you almost believed were warmth. “Okay. I suppose I can be your taxi driver, for a price.”

“What’s your price?”

“One cookie.”

“Deal.”

It had to be enough, because you were still clutching that telephone tightly to your cheek, long after the phone call ended with Eddie’s promise of being at your house soon enough. It had to be enough, because after that night, it became clear; the world would not end with the loss of just Eddie’s voice from your life, but the loss of Eddie, period. It was the first night of many in which you played a very, very dangerous game.

Even with Nancy gone, you felt restless. You couldn’t help but linger just a little longer in all that self-pity, still replaying the night and all you could have done differently.

Had she caught on with how out of it you had been? Had she seen through your act and immediately assumed the worst – assumed you weren’t worth keeping around?

The thoughts might be an overreaction.

You were definitely overreacting.

You didn’t really care that you were overreacting, though, because you really couldn’t control it. It was just another dark path you couldn’t stop your mind from traveling down. It was endless, and it was lonesome, and… and it was just normal. What should be devolving into a panic attack can only settle like an emptiness deep within your chest; you’ve been staring at the blank wall of your living room for so long without blinking, your eyes have gone dry.

A pattern. That’s what the therapist said. You had a pattern for overthinking these interactions, for projecting feelings onto others that didn’t exist. You think all your friends hate you, you think that a stranger found your smile to be more of a grimace, you think your mom hasn’t called in months because she recognizes you as a failure finally. But none of it is actually what those people think. It’s like a mirror – you look into the eyes of others, and you see all your own insecurities reflected back.

She’d asked you to work on it. To take a step back and just breathe, just remind yourself of that, whenever this happens. You’d decide whether you’d mention this minor slip up later. For now, you were going to wallow. You were going to spiral with just you, this damn blank wall, and maybe even the bottle of wine in the fridge.

Yes, your mind was made up, and you force yourself to stand from the couch and wander into the kitchen, eyes still dry and chest still caving in on itself as you open the fridge.

That’s as far as you get. Your fridge is wide open, the bright luminescent light flooding your kitchen floor in time with the trickling chill that sneaks up on your warm cheeks and already numb toes, when you spot it.

A box of takeout. It’s old enough now you could throw it out, you had known the moment he’d taken the last of his meal to-go that he wouldn’t finish it. Teased him about it, even. But he was stubborn and you weren’t capable of turning down the opportunity to let another piece of him, another flash of evidence of his place in your life, occupy this apartment. So there it sat, a half-eaten burger he hadn’t revisited.

But he had revisited the apartment – revisited you. He’d been here every night this week, and you’d practically had to shove him out on the street to get him to leave this morning to get to work on time.

The edges of that emptiness that weighs down your insides blur, already lightening microscopically as you slam shut the fridge and forgo the wine completely to grab the phone instead.

“You don’t have to always take care of everyone, you know,” he murmured as he joined you in the kitchen to retrieve popcorn for the gang, everyone gathered in the living room for a movie night.

“Pardon?” you asked, hardly glancing over your shoulder as you punched in the designated time for the microwave to turn the kernels into an easy, mouth-watering snack of butter and crunch.

“You always take care of everyone. You don’t have to.”

His words rang clearer that time, loud enough to have stopped you in your tracks. You paused mid-reach, the cabinet for the Harrington’s bowls wide open and shelves nearly too tall for you.

“I-” you weren’t sure exactly what to say, “What do you mean?”

His brows scrunched, eyes having narrowed in the slightest in your direction, “Please don’t play dumb right now.”

“I’m not playing dumb. I’m trying to get popcorn for our movie night,” you waved your hand towards the shelves lined with bowls for emphasis on your point, “That’s not really taking care of everyone – it was just being polite. Steve’s hosting, it’s the least I can do.”

“The least you can do? The least you can do is actually just sit with friends, enjoy the movie,” the crease between his brow deepened, eyeing you with an unfamiliar concern. You shifted beneath the weight of his gaze.

You don’t know what to say. Except, “It’s not that serious.”

He scoffed, and you nearly flinched from it. Fear threatened to bubble up – he’s upset, he’s getting irritated at you. He’s getting tired of you.

You waited for him to say something more as the buzz of the microwave filled the tense space, but he remained silent. Brooding.

“What?” your voice shook, your entire being torn between succumbing to all that fear and anxiety in upsetting him further and that voice in the back of your mind that urged you to push him, to hear what he really thought. “I know you have something more to say.”

“In the six months I’ve known you, you haven’t taken a single break for yourself.”

He met your push, stood his ground and didn’t let it put any distance between you two. It felt like a goddamn revelation, right there in the Harrington kitchen.

“I take plenty of breaks, Eddie,” you tried to laugh off, “I do spend time away from you all, hard as that may be to belie-”

“Hardly,” he cut you off as sharply as the first resonating pop that echoed from the microwave.

“What’s your point? I just like being around you guys. Like I said, it’s not that serious.”

This was the part where the distance would happen. You kept pushing, took the inch he’d given you to bite back and ran with it. Normally, you avoided conflict with any of your friends vehemently. Always afraid, always assuming the relationships to be so fragile and so delicate. You would take such care in never giving them a reason to hate you that you’d never taken to a battleground before.

But there had been a look in Eddie’s eyes that night. A shine that, breaking through all the worry for you, whispered, fight with me. Stand your ground with me. I’ll still call you tomorrow, no matter what words we exchange tonight.

A safety net had formed that you’d never even noticed. That delicacy wasn’t needed here. You could pick up the sword, there in that kitchen, and it wouldn’t turn Eddie to smoke and shadows.

“My point is…” he paused, he swallowed hard, he exhibited the delicacy that was usually expected from you, “You can like being around us. But you should put yourself first. At least once. At least on movie night.”

“How is me making popcorn not putting myself first?” you got the question out, you took a deep breath, ready to go on some sort of defensive tirade for your habit you were well aware of.

He beat you to it, “Every day last week, you only got three hours of sleep, at most, before your shifts. You gave up sleep to hang out with us all way too late, refused to throw in the towel and go home before anyone else.”

“I could have napped-”

“You didn’t nap,” he stressed, taking a step closer to you. The popping of the snack turning in the microwave was erratic, mere seconds left on the timer. Static noise to the conversation at hand, “I know you didn’t fucking nap after your shifts because you were immediately running errands for everyone else, or hanging out again. You offered to give Robin a ride to work every single day, and her shifts start… what, an hour after yours ended? And then you had to give her rides home, right? But in those hours she was at work, you were helping Dustin with an essay for school – that little fucker told me all about it. You were awake when Johnathan called you and we were all stoned off our asses, went and got us food we didn’t need but still wanted. We didn’t even expect you to pick up, you know? I told them, I swore to them, you wouldn’t pick up. You had a morning shift. You were scheduled literal hours from when we called you. But you picked up. You fucking picked up, and you went and got the fucking food for us fucking idiots.”

Your brain completely malfunctioned. You couldn’t comprehend how he was saying all of these things that should be good things, things that proved you were needed and you were reliable, but with such venom in his tone.

Anger had sparked within you as you pictured how giddy Dustin had been over the B he’d earned on his essay, that sincere appreciation on Robin’s face every time she left your car last week, the dopey grin that Argyle had worn when you’d arrived with their food order in your pajamas. All previously things to fuel you, filling that aching hole inside of you, now being tarnished because he was concerned.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you seethed at him, “Would you prefer I hadn’t been awake? Would you prefer I let Dustin just… get a fucking F on that essay? Or Robin walks to work?”

“Yes!”

You were both shocked at the sudden volume in your voices. The quickness in his reply. The quiver in your lip.

“Yes,” he breathed out, quieter this time, “I would prefer those things if it meant you were taking care of yourself. The word ‘no’ should be in your vocabulary, sweetheart. I… The world doesn’t end just because you don’t constantly make yourself available.”

But you all needing me might.

“Just… just…” your breaths came out in huffs, eyes downcast and unwilling to meet Eddie’s stare. A final push, and it came out more fragile than you’d ever intended, “Just mind your business, Eddie.”

He opened his mouth to say more, but the microwave started to go off, signaling what you saw as the end of the conversation – the fight. You’d raised your voice at him, you’d swung that sword in his direction, and he hadn’t vanished. His friendship – he – wasn’t as breakable as you’d thought.

You spun on your heel, you took the popcorn out and divided it into bowls for the group, busying your hands in any way possible. All the while, he never left the kitchen. He stood just feet away from you and let you do what needed to be done, and only stopped you as you turned to exit the kitchen with the snacks acquired.

His hand caught onto your elbow, “You have bags.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have bags under your eyes,” he elaborated. He no longer looked frustrated, but defeated, a morose distress pinching the edges of his feature.

“Jesus,” you were now scoffing, adjusting your grip on those bowls, “You really know how to compliment a girl, don’t you?”

“They’ve been there for months,” his grip refused to loosen, thumb trailing over the crease in your arm, “Please don’t run yourself into the ground.”

You gave him a cold shoulder as you left him behind to rejoin your friends, unable to shake his consternation. It was so genuine, it terrified you. It made your insides churn, it turned your anxious attachment to dust.

It made a shiver of warmth travel down your spine.

The empty space beside you on the couch only remained for seconds after you’d passed around the bowls, keeping one for yourself. He was back there, back at your side, as if the two of you hadn’t just exited a battle ground. As if a stand-off hadn’t just occurred, as if it all hadn’t ended in a draw.

He looked at you with those eyes.

Fight with me. Stand your ground with me. Don’t walk away from me. I will still call tomorrow.

He did more than call that night. As the movie started, he didn’t so much as flinch when your head fell to his shoulder in exhaustion. He only tucked an arm around your shoulders, only shifted you to be more comfortable as you used him as a personal pillow. He glared at everyone in warning not to grill you on the plot of the movie when you’d awoke mildly disappointed, he’d let you sleep on the drive home. He never once brought the fight back up.

And he still called the next day.

After your shift, he was the first voice you heard after dragging your feet into your apartment. A brief apology was exchanged before it was back to business as usual between you two. And somewhere between his rambles, you fell asleep with your phone balanced half-haphazardly between your cheek and shoulder. You could only dream of the grin he wore when he’d hear your soft snores over the line, quieting down immediately to let you rest. He never hung up – he was content to sit on a hushed line if only for the assuredness that you were finally resting.

The warmth no longer traveled down your spine, instead curling up timidly near that hole inside of you. You let it.

“Munson residence!”

That warmth that had found home in your chest still remains to this day, rousing at Eddie’s voice over the line. It’s nearly enough to make you cry – the relief that floods you just by the sound of him and his endless chipper. His optimism that always seems to exist, even in contrast with those harsh edges he tries to portray.

“Eddie,” you whisper, as if you’re not the only one in your apartment, “Can you… Are you free?”

Even after a year, you still sometimes felt guilt, asking so much of him. Asking so much, and giving so little in return.

But you weren’t the one who set that standard. Eddie had. Ferociously, fiercely, stubbornly. The insistence that you simply being was enough for him.

“For you, sweetness?” he chuckles lowly. He recognizes your voice immediately; you never have to say it’s you calling. You could have shrugged it off as Caller ID, but you knew the Munson’s phone didn’t have that. No, he recognized you by voice only. He’d once joked that only you would one day be able to rouse him from the dead, based on the ‘sweet melody alone’. Recognition in death – you had managed to burrow your way so deeply into his life, you’d earned recognition in death. “Always. What’s up?”

You could have just kept him on the phone. Had one of your infamous conversations about everything and nothing. Sat on the cold tiles of your kitchen and smiled like a child as you listened to him rant. But the cold chill of your lonesome apartment was becoming suffocating, and you remembered that take out in the fridge and the way one of his socks had ended up in your laundry last week. You remembered how you started keeping his favorite brand of beer in your fridge and how one of your pillows started to permanently smell like his aftershave.

He had a toothbrush in your bathroom. He had a key to your apartment. He had a space, here, in this lonesome apartment. And all you had to do was beckon to him, and he would come to fill it. Always.

“Can you come over?”

You don’t even have to explain yourself. He complies readily, whispers out a soft yes in the voice you’d also recognize even in death, and promises to be there within ten minutes.

He makes it within eight.

And you’re still leaning on your kitchen counter, your head still swimming dangerously with all the different ways you’d let down Nancy. Once upon a time, you might have worried about inviting him over, worried that your anxieties and your short-comings might bleed into your relationship with him. In the beginning, it had been simple enough. You kept him at an arm’s length away the moment you realized you couldn’t make yourself needed to him, not out of selfishness but out of fear. Fear, because if he didn’t need you, why would he stick around?

Because without need, if you did the wrong thing, there was no necessary thread tying them to you. Because without need, there was no chance for the day that you might find love in your grave robbings, and you couldn’t handle the thought of someone like Eddie Munson deciding you weren’t worth his time.

It hadn’t occurred to you for a very long time that maybe, possibly, you’d been going around the concept of love with a very wrong mindset.

Your safe place. That’s what the back of the van had become over these sticky summer nights – your safest refuge.

It was always the same scene; Eddie on his back beside you, lazily nursing a joint, while you sat up reading passages of the latest book you two had embarked on together. Sometimes it was poetry, sometimes it was fantasy, and sometimes, it was just a reread. That night, it was a reread. The Hobbit.

“‘I don’t see that this will help us much,’ said Thorin disappointedly after a glance. ‘I remember the mountain well-’” you recited off of the page, when Eddie suddenly sat up abruptly and snatched the book from you.

“No, no, no!” he wagged his finger at you after he discarded his joint into the ashtray you’d made him start keeping in the fan, “Sweetheart, you’re doing the voices all wrong.”

You rolled your eyes at him, reaching to take the book back, “Not all of us have a Dungeon Master voice to whip out, Munson. Give it back.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Do I need to say please? I’ll say please.”

It was best like this. Just the two of you, away from everyone else. Some nights, the two of you hadn’t even needed a book to bond over. You’d just gaze at stars, or indulge in whatever weed he’d brought along with him. He never pressured you, though – if you shook your head at his offer of the joint, that was that. He seemed to apply that to most aspects of your friendship this last year.

You never had to prove anything to him. He saw your worth as if it were glaringly obvious, as if it were as simple of a concept as breathing. No extra effort needed from your end.

Just by being, you had managed to become something important to him. He needed you, if only because you were you.

“The puppy dog eyes aren’t gonna work on me,” he snorted, shifting so that his shoulder pressed against your own. A warmth spreads from the point of contact. “Let the master show you how it’s done.”

You tried to not let it show, but your grin was radiant. He was the master at those ridiculous voices, at theatrics and at bringing the story to life. You were transported from the shore of Lover’s Lake, in the back of that stuffy yet comforting van, to meadows of soft grass and hobbit holes of comfort. To a place where all the threats were mythical and all the expectations of you were released.

You’d spent the week helping Steve finish up his college plans. His parents had tried to pressure him into picking his top three universities, but the moment he had confided in you that he might prefer a community college to begin, you’d held his hand as you guided him through the process. A rewarding process, have no doubt, but it had left you numb and reeling. Sharing someone else’s stress, shouldering their burdens – it had been a bit much.

You needed this. You needed Eddie’s ridiculous voices and the sharp press of his shoulder against your temple.

“Falling asleep on me already?” he teased when he’d noticed how quiet you had gone.

“Never,” you lied through a yawn that quickly exposed you.

“Liar,” he huffed. You didn’t even need to glance up to confirm the smile you knew he wore. “We can head back home, if you need. I know it’s getting late-”

“No,” you quickly sat up, effectively making yourself dizzy, “No, I- It’s fine. I’m awake. I swear.”

“It’s okay that you were falling asleep,” he was quick to reach out, to tug you back down to his side, wrapping his arm around you to press you even closer than before, “I just don’t want to keep Cinderella out past Midnight.”

“It’s barely ten.”

“Nothing gets past you, Sherlock,” he scowled as you pressed your grin against his t-shirt clad shoulder, “I’m serious, though. Do I need to take you home?”

“No, Eddie. I’m good.”

“Swear it? Swear you don’t have an early shift, or some… some obligation?”

“No shifts, no obligations.”

“And if I just kidnap you for the weekend? Am I going to have an angry mob at my doorstep, demanding your service?”

You smiled wider at the thought. The idea of him hiding you away, letting you live in this reprieve for the entire weekend. It was a nice thought, “I certainly wouldn’t complain.”

And so the two of you sat there like that for an hour more. Eddie coming up with ridiculous tones for the various characters, you slipping in and out of consciousness as his warmth stayed wrapped around him. You don’t even notice when the warmth he’d planted in you finally covers up that hole inside of you, not even missing the absence of that emptiness until Eddie went quiet.

In the silence, you noticed it.

The gash you’d grown accustomed to, the hole that had become an extra limb for you. Vanished. Gone. Disappeared without a trace.

It was a sudden and terrifying realization. Everything in you urged you to jump up, to scramble around you to find the darkness again, like a comfort blanket you couldn’t stand to lose. You went against the instinct, though, and rose slowly from Eddie’s hold.

In lieu of scrambling, you peered at Eddie curiously. “Hey, Eds. Can I ask you something?”

He nodded sleepily, almost as drowsy as you. You’re shocked when he shifts and instead of pulling you back to him, he opted to lay his head in your lap.

That hole was still gone. The weight of his head on your thighs, the feeling of his breath on your bare thigh. For a moment, you can’t breathe.

You’re warm. Not uncomfortably so, but encapsulated with an internal warmth. Like a fever spreading, the ice in your spine that you had lived with for years had begun to thaw.

“Why do you keep me around?” you whispered, still sitting stiffly, staring in awe down at the way he just nuzzled his face into your lap.

With his eyes still closed, face smooth from any worry from the question, he mumbled, “What do you mean?”

You only hesitated due to the thought crossing your mind; what if you bringing this up reminds him?

You thought back to the night in Harrington’s kitchen. The push and the pull, the bloody battle and the way he still called.

He was not as delicate as you took him for.

“I- What do you get out of this?” you couldn’t figure out how to phrase it correctly. You knew what you got out of this, but what does he get?

“Get out of what?”

“Get out of keeping me around.”

His eyes finally opened, twisting in your lap so that he could stare up at you. “You say that as if you’re forcing me to be your friend.”

I could be, that nagging voice in your mind whispered. You could very well be forcing him, and just be blinded because you were enjoying the summer of warmth that he carried with him too much to let him go.

“You never let me do anything for you,” you sighed, fingers finding themselves tangled in his roots against better judgment. But you needed to touch him, to ground yourself, as you admitted this hard truth, “You do shit for me all the time. You drive all the way out to this lake just because I complain about everything being too much. You’ve started playing chauffeur for the kids to give me a break. Harrington said you even offered to look at college brochures with him. And…. And I’m not stupid, Eds,” your voice shook as you looked down at him, a sudden feeling of undeserving striking you in your chest, “You do so much for me lately. And you don’t ask for anything in return – you don’t let me do anything in return. Why?”

His smile twisted with a hint of sadness, and brown eyes met your gaze without so much as flinching, “Sweetheart, why do you think you have to repay me for that stuff?”

“I-”

“No, hear me out,” he reached up, taking your hand out of his hair and lacing his fingers with yours, slowly dragging it down to rest on his sternum, “I chose to do that stuff. And, yeah, maybe I was trying to take some of that shit off your plate. But you didn’t ask me to. I chose to. I wanted to do those things, do nice things for you, because you won’t let anyone else.”

You bit back a scoff, “I let people do nice things for me-”

“You really don’t,” his hold on your hand tightened, “You really, really don’t. You constantly…. You just, you take care of everyone else, but you act afraid to let someone take care of you. People are allowed to take care of you, too, y’know? You should let them. They love you – they want to take care of you, just like you take care of them.”

They love you.

The air drained from your lungs in a slow, silent sigh. You waited a few minutes, but the oxygen never replenished as you tried to grasp his words.

They love you.

Why would they love me?

“Why wouldn’t they love you, sweetheart?” Eddie looked more concerned now, suddenly prepared to sit up and remove his head for your lap. But his hand still held yours tightly, still clung to you, “You know they love you, right? God, you gotta know that. We all love you.”

You hadn’t realized you’d spoken the bitter thought out loud until he looked at you, utterly heartbroken, in complete disbelief. “I…”

No. I don’t know that. What have I done to deserve their love?

“They need me, sure,” you started, narrowing your eyes at the breaks in the waves of Lover’s Lake, “I mean, I just try to make myself useful to them. It’s the least I can do when I… when they…” you struggled to get the words out. You saw that hole again, like a light at the end of the tunnel, but so far from the relief most mean by that metaphor. Something peeking around the corner, ready to devour you all over again. So you plunged, you prepared yourself for it to spring to life and take you whole as you nearly whimpered, “When they put up with me. It’s the least I can do when they put up with me.”

“No one puts up with you,” Eddie’s voice cracked. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes. “Least of all me.”

The deadliest of blows. He cracked your hardened surface with that, shook the foundations of every belief you’d held for eternity.

“Most of all you,” you corrected without thinking, “God, I- Eddie, seriously. What reason do you have for keeping me around? I don’t know how the fuck you put up with m-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you’d never heard him beg so painfully before then, “Please. Don’t… You want to know my reason?” you nodded numbly, finally looking to find him with wet eyes and lips pressed into a fine line, “Because you’re you. I… Fuck, I love you. I keep you around because you’re you. You’re good for me. Whether you believe it or not. You’re good for me just by being you, and there’s nothing you have to do to accomplish that,” you started to look away before he grabbed your cheeks, turning you to face him as he emphasized each word, “You don’t have to earn love. That’s not what love is. Got it?”

You looked into his eyes, and saw all the soft declarations of love echoed back to you, even from the very start.

‘Sweetheart, you don’t owe me your time. And I don’t need monopoly over it for us to be okay.’

‘The world doesn’t end just because you don’t constantly make yourself available.’

The entire time you’d been so worried about taking care of everyone else, he’d been worried about taking care of you. Endless late night phone calls, careful check-ins when he saw the exhaustion take the frontlines, sparse fights about putting yourself first. The only thing he ever wanted from you was for you to take care of yourself.

While you were busy being there for everyone else, he was busy being there for you.

He never once made you dig to the bottom of his grave to find the warmth. He’d handed it over on a silver platter.

So how could you look him in his at that moment, and tell him that you didn’t ‘get it’? That you’d never been sure if what you were seeking from your friends was really love? That, really, you’d given up on being loved a long time ago, assuming it was asking too much?

How do you look him in his eyes in that moment and tell him you had long since declared yourself unlovable?

He didn’t make you say it. Only kept your cheeks pressed between his palms, as he leaned forward, forehead meeting yours and whispering words for only you, “I love you, no strings attached. You’re my… friend. I love you. Okay?”

No one had ever fought so valiantly to get the point across. Not just that night at the lake, but in the entirety of his friendship with you.

The hole slinked back behind the corner. The darkness decided it could wait another day. And in its place, warm brown eyes filled the void. Whether he even realized it or not.

You nearly believed him. Nearly. But you bit down hard on that belief, throwing it out of sight, and instead of echoing back the ‘okay’ you assumed he was seeking out, all you did was sob out another, “Why?”

When you collapsed into him, he held you. Your sobs remained dry, your confusion palpable as you clung to him and tried to let that belief envelope you like his arms had.

I love you.

How could someone love you?

He didn’t press it the way you thought he would. He didn’t scold you for continuing to question him and he didn’t lash out at your disbelief.

He just held you. Letting your face press into his neck as his fingers ran up and down your spine, giving it a moment before he started talking again.

“Your humor,” he hummed after a couple moments of silence, heavy breathing eventually evening out.

“What?”

“The way you take care of others,” he continued on like he hadn’t heard you, “That spark you get in your eyes when you tell someone about something good. A favorite book, movie, story from your day – whatever it is. The way you give the best hugs – and you don’t give me them nearly often enough. The way you snore, and the way you definitely deny snoring.”

You opened your mouth, about to lift your head and argue with him, but he just placed an encouraging palm on the back of your head to keep you close to him.

“The way your favorite color changes with the seasons. The way you only like artificial cherry flavoring, not the real stuff. The way you look at night when we’re driving and you’re just screaming your favorite lyrics. The way you look at me to see if a joke lands. The way you fuss about my wrinkled clothes, even when you also don’t care about the wrinkles in your own shirts. The way you take your coffee. The way you always offer to paint one of my nails to match yours. The way you treat your recipe for chocolate chip cookies like some top secret, government trade. But we both know it’s just some recipe from a cookbook you thrifted when you were ten. The way you get excited over the small things, like the cows we pass by on the way out here. They're always there, and you always point them out. The way you just… are.”

He didn’t have to say it. He was answering your question.

He was listing his whys.

“You don’t have to earn it,” he didn’t say the word, not this time. You felt it, “It just… it’s there. It’s there and it’s not going anywhere. I’ll remind you of that every day if I have to.”

Loved. For the first time ever, it felt like a possibility; to be loved.

Eddie always knocks on your front door a certain way – a pattern he rarely strays from. But you can always tell. He’s the only fool who would find humor in knocking out such an annoying compilation of hits on the wooden panels until you finally unlatch the lock and open it to find him standing in your threshold.

His hair is frizzy and in a low ponytail, wearing a baggy band shirt and plaid pajama pants. He greets you with such a wide smile, your chest aches.

“Hey there, sweetness.”

You don’t say a word, just drag him inside before you wrap your arms around his waist. Ever since that night, and his admittance of enjoying your hugs, you made a conscious effort to hug him more often.

“Miss me?” he chuckles, and you feel the vibrations against your cheek as you softly pinch his side. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make him only laugh harder once you pull away.

“Not at all,” you snark back as you make sure the door is securely shut and properly locked.

“Not even a little bit?”

“Nope.”

He smacks a fist to his chest as if you had stabbed him with your words, “Ouch. You wound me, sweetheart.”

“Get over it,” you tease. Your head has finally stopped swimming, your chest no longer tight with the fear of not being enough. Nancy is long forgotten as you say, “Have you eaten dinner?”

“Depends,” he hums as he toes off his boots, “If you’re offering to buy me some, then no, I definitely did not eat spaghetti with Wayne right before you called.”

You throw your head back laughing as he’s already making a beeline for your kitchen, digging out that damned takeout menu and reaching for the phone, already so sure of your order.

Knowing your order at restaurants. Without having to ask. Apparently, that was part of the whole ‘being loved’ gig.

Adjusting has taken months. Since that night in Eddie’s van, he’d kept his word. Not a day went by without him finding a way to remind you, whether it be by direct words or small actions, that he loved you. You both kept it under that friendly guise. He loved you in that familiar way, the way the others supposedly loved you. A way you could manage to recognize some days.

Other days were still rough. Days like today were still rough.

The takeout is ordered and Eddie sets up camp on your couch, rambling about something that had happened during one of the DnD nights he still hosted with the kids. Something about a dumb decision Mike did that cost most of the group their character’s lives. You have a hard time following along, and he’s quick to pick up on it.

“Hey, sweetheart?” he murmurs as you lean into the back couch cushion, smooshing your cheek as you watched him animatedly speak.

“Hm?”

“Bad day?”

He never judged you for the rough days. He never judged you for the days you still couldn’t find the love, even after he worked so virtuously to show it to you. He may never understand it, that hollow ache that resided in your darkest corners and whispered that none of it was real, but it never deterred him.

He loved you on good days, and he especially loved you on bad days.

You consider lying to him, but you can’t. Not when he looks at you so earnestly, “Yeah. It… yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks you, shuffling to be more comfortable where he sits as he motions for you to lay down. You do so immediately, head finding a home against his thigh and his fingers stroking over your cheek before they toy with the ends of your hair.

All you can do is shake your head. You didn’t want to talk about that fear of failing Nancy as a friend, especially when you know that wasn’t her take away from it. It felt silly now; all that overthinking, when you know now if you questioned her on it, all she would have seen from the day was a friend lending a caring ear. You know because you had asked her about it once, if she found your listening habits too callous, upon Eddie’s insistence.

She hadn’t. In fact, all she could do was thank you, had insisted that she was just grateful someone would listen to her ramblings. And you understood that, left it at that.

“Okay,” he murmurs, voice so quiet you nearly miss it. His fingers continue to play across your shoulders now, barely weighted against bare skin, “That’s fine.”

He didn’t mind if you didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t mind if you never spoke another word, if all you needed was him here. You just needed him close by and to sit with you, to make it all a little less much.

Nothing. He needed absolutely nothing from you, asked nothing of you. Because you didn’t have to earn this. All you had to do was simply be, and he would provide this.

Love. What an odd concept, to have found warmth in a grave you never even got the chance to dig your shovel into.

“Hey, Eddie?” his fingers pause at your croaking voice. You smile at his stillness, at the way he hums carefully in response, still trying to offer the silence you quietly begged for, “I love you.”

There’s more to unpack there. More than just familial love, more than just two friends that love each other without conditions. But tonight is not the night, and you both see that it is enough. There will be other nights to dig your claws in and to dissect what those three little words mean between you two. There will be other nights to consider how your other friends don’t have a permanent spare toothbrush on your bathroom counter or a space for their takeout in your fridge. But not tonight.

For tonight, this was enough. The quiet, and the warmth, the being was enough.

“I love you,” he emphasizes the last word, leaning down and his lips grazing your temple.

You notice the way he leaves off the too. He’d love you, even if you didn’t love him. You’d love him, even if he didn’t love you. Unconditional, no strings attached. A warmth you do not have to fight to earn. A rarity you never encountered before, and may never encounter again, but you have for tonight and for as long as he chooses to stick around.

Your shovel sits abandoned in a shed in the distance. Your fingernails are clean of the dirt. The graveyard, it seems, would go another night without its robber.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #yeah the archer has a chokehold on me #idk man this is scary to post a put... a lot of myself in here #my bad #3k celebration

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dear-bunnyboo · 8 months

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

important note: my face claim will be madison beer but you can imagine whoever you desire. also the songs mentioned are not all technically all madison’s i will be incorporating other songs from other artists.

all the pictures seen below are not mine, however they were edited by yours truly. credits to the owners.

new format!! this would be the youtube or interview format, hope you enjoy cause I literally had to watch and copy the transcript of this interview from YouTube 😩 but Ily guys so it’s fine 🩵

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Joe Burrow x Singer!Reader / Brief Ex!Jack Hughes x Singer!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your interview all the way from Los Angeles, Joe’s press conference back at Cincinnati, and the fans speculating all over the globe.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing, interviews, press, media, haters, talk of past relationship, mentions of cheating ex, rumors, fluff, slight angst, mentions of crying, instigation

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐍𝐇𝐋 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐓𝐮𝐛𝐞

Los Angeles, California

Intro - Zach: Hello, beautiful human! Thank you for clicking on our conversation with Y/N Y/L/N— we have an entire album to dissect, it’s called Teardrops there’s a link in the description below if you haven’t heard it yet and while your down there please hit the like and leave your honest feedback in the comment section below and subscribe!

Zach: Hello, beautiful human! I am Zach Sang and that is Dan Zola and today we welcome, someone who’s dominating the charts and the music industry right now— Y/N Y/L/N! (*Zach and Dan starts clapping*)

Y/N: Hello! Hi, Zach, hey Dan— it’s been a while since I’ve last been here.

Zach: I know it has been a year and a half since your first appearance in the Zach Sang Show and we missed you, dude.

Y/N: I’ve missed you guys too, you guys are the best interviewers out there.

Dan: Really?

Zach: Are we really?

Y/N: You don’t ask me dumb questions, so yeah. (*chuckles*)

Zach: Well, thank you. We have lots to discuss today— you’re album Teardrops being one of those topics today, we’ll also be talking about your tour— Wonderland Tour which is ongoing currently, and more personal questions to finish if you don’t mind.

Y/N: Yeah, let’s get to it.

Zach: So, Teardrops, this album is years in the making, right? Two years at least, right?

Y/N: Yeah, almost two years but a year and a half to be more specific.

Zach: Can you tell us more as to why you kept pushing it back? And why you decided that now was the perfect time to release it?

Y/N: Well, I’ve always known a year and a half ago that I would be making this album. I already have written the songs for it at the time— and originally I was gonna release it last year but I am a perfectionist, so I decided to push it back a little. Cause I really do value the quality of my work, so I had to.

Then a few months ago, a lot had happened— life happened and I was in a really dark place in my life that I had no choice but put all of it on hold which I hated doing but I needed to do it for the sake of my sanity and then at one point I decided to scrap all the songs I had on the album— this album was originally going to be called Angel which had songs with completely different vibes as to what I have now but I decided to archive them for now because of my circumstances.

Zach: Oh wow, so you have a completely different album you had to archive. Can I ask what pushed that decision? Why not just stick to the original plan?

Y/N: Like I said, something happened in my personal life that pushed me to do so. My song making process involves a lot of emotion for me— I feel a lot. So whenever I’m happy or angry or sad or heartbroken, just whenever I feel an intense emotion I just start writing.

It just flows out of me and at first they are just lyrics and I piece them together, produce the melody and beats and then they become a song. When all the drama and chaos started happening to me a few months ago— I just kept writing. Writing and writing until I managed to make thirteen new songs.

Song writing is my way of grieving in a way and moving on from those emotions and experiences— so, changing the album completely was important for my grieving process in a way.

Don: Wow.

Zach: Yeah, wow! Dan just expressed everything in one word— wow. I don’t want to touch on that experience of yours cause i know how fresh it still is but hopefully we can touch on it a little when we dissect the songs— but before we start with the album dissection, do you think you’ll ever release the original album— Angel?

Y/N: (*smiles*) Uhm, as of now, no. I’m not sure when I’ll be doing that or if I’ll be doing that. It depends— someday maybe.

Zach: That’s fine— take all the time you need. So, let’s start talking about the album in detail. Teardrops, why that title? Why change it from Angel to Teardrops?

Y/N: I wanted to change everything from the original album— everything. So that meant the tracks, the title, the visuals, the concept. Everything.

I named it Teardrops because all I did while making this album was cry (*awkward laugh*). I was crying writing each song, cried when I produced each melody, cried after recording— it was a lot. Each song represents the tears I’ve shed in a way— which is why I called it Teardrops.

Zach: That’s amazing, what a process.

Dan: It really is.

Y/N: Thank you so much.

Zach: So, track 1— Raindrops (an angel cried.), please introduce us to this song.

Y/N: Ok, so, Raindrops is a short intro to the album. The name Angel is a name I was called a lot by– a person in my life and I wanted the intro to set the tone for the entire album, so that the listeners would know what they are getting into musically.

My mom used to say when I was young that the reason it would rain was because angels were crying and a couple of months ago an angel did cry— she cried and cried and cried.

Zach: Let me just say this track— is heavenly. That’s the word that seems to enter my head when I hear it.

Y/N: Thank you and that’s good. That’s the vibe I was going for— an almost angelic sounding production, without instruments or any melody at the back just my voice and an echo— it’s perfect.

Zach: Next we have, track 2— Selfish–

Y/N: Yeah, but I actually want to explain track 2 and 3 together— Selfish and Reckless.

Zach: Oh, go ahead. Please.

Y/N: Track 2— Selfish and Track 3— Reckless we’re actually written together which is why i’ll be talking about them together.

Selfish and Reckless are songs about regret and realization. The realization that you were with someone so selfish and reckless at the same time— it’s about– (*chuckles*) when I found out about the drama, those were the two words that came into my head— selfish and reckless then I just started writing.

They are twins almost (*laughs*) you have to listen to them one after the other to get the gist of the emotion and story I was trying to express.

Dan: I just want to say, I really love the intro to Reckless— the music box element. Why did you choose that sound and element to add to the song?

Y/N: That’s a great question. I have a couple songs on this album that has a very Disney feel to it almost— like a fairytale vibe that I really loved. I mean that is the concept I was going for, a fairytale theme. Everything about Reckless was heavily inspired by Tinkerbell, the fairly like aspect of it— the music box at the beginning made it it come to life.

Zach: Why a fairytale concept though?

Y/N: Well, fairytales aren’t real, aren’t they? (*smirks*)

Zach: Oh? So it wasn’t real? Is that what your implying? (*Zach and Dan smirk back understanding what you were implying*)

Y/N: That’s the thing about fairytales— for little children it’s real up until it isn’t anymore. It’s the same for me. (*smiles*)

Zach: Are we still talking about fairytales? (*laughs*)

Y/N: We are! We are.

Zach: Ok. The next song, track 4— Dangerous. What can you tell us about that?

Y/N: It’s one of my favorites. One of the fairytale-like songs that I was talking about. It’s a ballad, the melody reminds me of those Disney songs that would play when the Princess and the Prince are dancing but in contrast to that the lyrics are very sad.

Zach: What is it about?

Y/N: Zach seriously (*chuckles*) everyone knows what it is about.

Zach: (*laughing*) Moving on to track 5— Safety Net ft Ty Dolla $ign— your first feature in this album and by the way, let me just say that this is my favorite track.

Y/N: Thank you, I actually contacted Ty and asked him to be in it because I felt that his voice and style matched the song so well— and yeah, Safety Net is about realizing later into a relationship that no one is there to catch you at the bottom— that there was no safety net to begin with and you have no other choice but to continue falling.

Dan: We’ve all been there.

Y/N: We’ve all been there. (*nods in agreement*)

Zach: Now onto track 6— Leave Me Lonely.

Y/N: This track is also one of my favorites and I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot (*laughs*) anyway, this song is about asking to be left alone. It’s preferring to be left lonely rather than staying in a relationship that is no good for you.

This song is actually so much fun to sing. Vocally it’s the most unique I’ve ever done.

Zach: It kinda has a James Bond vibe, I don’t know why it feels like that but it does.

Y/N: That’s such a complement— James Bond vibe! That’s great. Thank you.

Dan: Track 7— Good in Goodbye. This is one of your more upbeat songs in this album. It’s really fun, with the wording in the chorus.

Zach: Yeah, it’s such a catchy chorus, dude and very clever with the play-on words.

Y/N: I know. It’s such a fun song to sing, honestly— the chorus I am very proud of. I just love how it all turned out honestly.

Zach: Now for track 8— Wonderland which you named your Tour after. Why this song?

Y/N: Again, the entire concept of this era is fairytale. Wonderland is an nod to Alice in Wonderland which I love and I thought It would be an appropriate title for my Tour— to be able to name that event Wonderland was the perfect choice.

The song is about falling into a relationship the same way Alice fell into the rabbit hole— the unexpectedness, the craziness, and uncertainty of it all. My previous relationship is just like Wonderland— it was new and exciting but it was also risky and frightening— it was all over the place.

Zach: We are halfway into your album. Track 9— Watch.

Dan: This song made me emotional out of all of them.

Y/N: Did it really?

Dan: (*nods*)

Y/N: Well, Watch is one of those songs that talks about the physical feeling of a heartbreak. The turmoil and anguish you feel. In this song I described it as a burning sensation which some might relate to and some might not— it depends it guess.

Zach: Ok, how about track 10— My Tears Ricochet which is such an interesting title by the way.

Y/N: Oohh, this one is tricky. This song can actually be interpreted in a lot of ways— everyone can have their own interpretation of this song which is the fun aspect of song writing. For me this song is about how the pain inflicted on me affects the person as well, how the tears I shed ricochet back— somewhat like karma in a way.

Zach: This song is deep. Probably the most versatile album you’ve ever put out to be honest.

Y/N: Thank you so much for saying that. That means a lot to me.

Dan: Now on to, Track 11— Consequences.

Zach: Another tear jerking song— well, they all are.

Y/N: (*chuckles*) That’s true. Consequences is just me listing down all the consequences I had to deal with for loving someone who embarrassed and hurt me. (*shrugs*)

Dan: I love how this song, with the meaning and the message you are trying to put out and then transitioning to the next track which is Track 12— The 1. Just the different emotions you’ve put into this.

Zach: Yeah, cause The 1 is almost a bittersweet song. Which is a complete opposite of the previous songs.

Y/N: This album is basically me going through the five stages of grief. Some people listening to the album might say “Oh she’s talking shit about her ex but then the next song is about her crying about him.” Or “She wrote a song about hating her ex but has a song about missing him.”— That’s the point.

You don’t just move on from someone. You don’t. Especially after a long relationship, it is gonna be hard to let go and I understand that— I’ve made peace with that. I understand that I have to go through all the stages to get to the point where I am finally at peace.

It’s not easy. I’m still at that process— yes, I may sing about missing and crying about a past lover but also singing another song about hating his guts— that’s the process. I’m grieving, I’m moving on— and The 1 is one one of those songs where I just reminisce. It’s about the possibilities that could have happened if everything didn’t come crashing down like it did.

Zach: I keep forgetting how young you are at how mature you speak. You carry yourself with so much grace and dignity— it’s honestly so admirable.

Y/N: Thank you, Zach but seriously stop it before I cry.

Zach: (*laughs*) Ok, finally the last song in the album. Track 13— Red.

Y/N: Red is the final track— I use colors to express and relate different feelings I’ve felt through my last relationship and yeah— That’s Teardrops! I’m extremely proud of it and happy with the feedback.

Zach: You should be, this is a masterpiece! One of the many achievements you’ve accomplished just in the last few months— one of them also being your tour which are sold out in all the cities.

Dan: We’ve got tickets for tomorrow by the way.

Y/N: Yay! That’s amazing! But yeah I’m extremely grateful for the love I have been receiving lately. My fans are extremely supportive and being able to perform for them every night is the best feeling in the world.

Zach: The opening night was at Cincinnati, right?

Y/N: It was yeah! Such a great opener as well, the response and the energy in the stadium was out of this world— I’d never forget it.

Dan: Along with your performance, the presence of Bengals’ Quarterback Joe Burrow also caused chaos. How did that happen?

Zach: Yeah, everyone wants to know, how long has this been going on?

Y/N: (*laughs while shaking your head*) I’ve met him just the day before the show actually, so not that long ago. The NFL invited me to sing the National Anthem the day before at a game and when the Bengals’ won— they invited my team an I to the after party. I was pretty hesitant on going but my best friend dragged me to it (*laughs*)

Obviously I knew who he was and surprisingly he knew who I was and when he approached me, he told me he was a fan— he congratulated me on performing which shocked me considering it was their win we were celebrating that night, but yeah. We talked and he mentioned that he tried to get tickets to my show but didn’t succeed in doing so.

So I offered him a ticket, I don’t know what urged me to do so but he hesitantly accepted and that’s how he ended up there— we became friends.

Zach: So you mean to tell me, that you had extra tickets laying around?! (*jokes*)

Y/N: I always have one extra ticket, just in case. (*shrugs*)

Dan: You attended their game a few weeks ago as well, didn’t you?

Y/N: Yeah, I think that was Joe’s way of repaying me back for the tickets— our schedule coincided and he asked me if I wanted to go and I didn’t have anything else better to do at New Jersey so I accepted.

Zach: Fans speculate that you two are dating because of your somewhat public interaction that day.

Y/N: No. Joe and I are good friends. We are both focused on our own careers and I don’t think I’m ready to be in another relationship of any kind at the moment. (*smiles sadly*)

Zach: And that’s understandable, I hope this puts the rumors to rest. Thank you for stopping by, Y/N.

Y/N: It won’t but thank you anyway— also thank you for inviting me.

Dan: We love having you here.

Zach: Good luck on the show tomorrow. We will see you!

Y/N: I’ll see you tomorrow, guys!

comments…

𝐟𝐚𝐧1: this interview is Godsent, everything was just perfect.

𝐟𝐚𝐧2: thank you to Zach and Dan for the amazing content as always.

𝐟𝐚𝐧3: An hour long interview of Y/N talking about her album? Yes please

↳ 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫1: An hour long interview of Y/N talking about her trash of an album as she continues to shit on Jack? Bitch please.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧4: Translation: I watched the entire 1 hour interview where Y/N talks about the songs she wrote about her cheating ex which she never ones name drops… but if the shoe fits ig 🤷‍♀️

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧5: OH SHIT HAHQHAHHAHQHQHAHA

𝐟𝐚𝐧6: Zach is right. Y/N handles herself with so much grace and dignity it is truly inspiring. She continued with her life and let her work speak for her. She’s stronger than me fr cause if my boyfriend of 3 years cheats on me and gets caught for the entire world to see I would be in jail rn.

𝐟𝐚𝐧7: it’s the fact that she had an completely different album called ANGEL and decided to scrap it all when Jack’s cheating scandal happened hurts my heart.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧8: I’m crying in the club rn. Angel is probably the complete opposite of Teardrops. It probably was about how in love she was with Jack.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧9: MY HEART HURTS FOR HER CAUSE ANGEL TO TEARDROPS WITH THE INTRO BEING RAINDROPS (AN ANGEL CRIED)!! She’s a genius but it’s so sad.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧10: just imagine how hurt she must have been to realize that she would never get to release those songs.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧11: When they asked her if she’ll ever release Angel she said maybe but the pain in her eyes when she was thinking about it says otherwise.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧12: I’m sorry I’m a new fan and I’m not sure why people keep emphasizing on the name Angel? Like, what does it represent? And why is it so important?

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧13: It’s alright 😊 Angel is what Y/N’s ex boyfriend Jack called her. He cheated on her after 3 years of being together hence her having an album called Angel is so shocking cause we are assuming it’s about her love for Jack which we will never get to hear by the looks of it.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧14: And since Jack plays for the New Jersey Devils, Y/N would call him the Devil and Y/N the Angel.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧12: Thank you so much for explaining. That is so sad.

𝐟𝐚𝐧15: Raindrops (an angel cried) hits harder now knowing what the album was called before 😭

𝐟𝐚𝐧16: I admire her so much. She said she made peace with the fact that she needed to go through the five stages of grief. She accepted that she was gonna feel all those emotions just so that she could move on.

𝐟𝐚𝐧17: “fairytales aren’t real, aren’t they?” OOOHH GIRL HER SMIRK AFTER SHE SAID THAT😏

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧18: “for little children fairytales are real until they aren’t anymore.” Put that on a shirt.

𝐟𝐚𝐧19: her explanation of Safety Net pained me, I related to that song the most.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧20: realizing that there wasn’t a Safety Net to catch you the entire time 🥲

𝐟𝐚𝐧21: she’s beauty and brains, she’s so intellectual.

𝐟𝐚𝐧22: she deserves all the love in the world 🥹🤍

𝐟𝐚𝐧23: look how happy she looked talking about Joe 😭

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧24: the immediate switch up was so cute. She literally lit up.

𝐟𝐚𝐧25: I know she just denied them dating but I really do feel that there is something there.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧26: IK!! CALL ME CRAZY BUT SHE EITHER WANTS TO KEEP IT A SECRET OR THEY HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER!

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧27: I understand the excitement but please let’s respect both their privacy. Joe and Y/N are both private people so IF they are dating and want to keep it quiet then let’s please respect that. However, I don’t think they are dating tho, not yet anyway. Y/N is still in the process of moving on, she said she’s not ready for a relationship. Let’s respect that please. 🤍

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧28: Couldn’t have said it any better 😊🤍

𝐟𝐚𝐧29: get you a friend who would give you tickets to their shows/games 😫

𝐟𝐚𝐧30: Joe congratulated Y/N for singing the National Anthem at his own after party 😩 can he get anymore perfect.

𝐟𝐚𝐧31: Y/N hates New Jersey. You can’t convince me otherwise. Joe gave her tickets to his game and she took it as a way to get out.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧32: he’s hot for that.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧33: I don’t blame her but I don’t think she’ll hate it forever. She just need time.

𝐟𝐚𝐧34: friends don’t look at friends the way they were looking at each other.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧35: they probably do like each other but give it time. I actually want them to last and she needs to heal first before doing so.

𝐟𝐚𝐧36: I’m so ready for her show even more now 💕

Cincinnati, Ohio

Joe: Hello, hello.

Reporter: Did you have a good time at practice today, Joe?

Joe: Uhm, it’s practice. It’s the same every season— it was good. Exhausting but good.

Reporter: You don’t train during off season?

Joe: Nah, I’m a lazy guy, sit at home all day. (*smiles*)

Reporter: What’s your favorite thing to do every year, Joe?

Joe: Just relax. Sit on my couch watch YouTube videos, play video games that’s my favorite thing to do.

Reporter: Did you watch the Quarterback thing, Joe?

Joe: I did not.

Reporter: Do you plan to?

Joe: Uhm, maybe one day. Probably not though.

Reporter: What why?

Joe: Would you watch a documentary about Hobson? (*grinning as he nodded his head at the reporter*)

Reporters: (*laughs*)

Reporter: Joe, one of your strengths is your ability to compartmentalize, is your focus right there?

Joe: Yeah. I’m able to hyper focus on a lot of different things at different times and when it’s time for one, I can completely focus on that and forget about everything else.

Reporter: Were you asked to be in season two of The Quarterback?

Joe: Yeah I was. Maybe one year— this year I’m not, uhm but we’ll see. I would like to do it maybe a couple of years down the road but I don’t think now is the right time.

Reporter: Joe, are there any personal goals you’ve set for yourself?

Joe: You always have personal goals, I’ve been thinking about goals a lot lately and I think where my mindset is these days is just improving everyday. The point I’m at now— I’m one of the best in the world and if I just continue to improve everyday I’m gonna help myself a lot more.

Reporter: What music do you listen to, Joe?

Joe: I’m, uh, kind of all over the place. I’ll listen to some indie, I listen to some hip hop, some pop. I listen to just about anything but country— I’m not a country guy. (*smiles*)

Reporter: A lot of Y/N Y/L/N then?

Joe: (*laughs while nodding his head*) Yeah, I’m a fan of hers.

Reporter: You were seen at her concert here at PayCor and she was at the game against the Jets recently— you two seem close.

Joe: She’s a good friend. I met her after the game against the Raiders— we had a good conversation. I joked about having a hard time buying tickets for her show and she offered to give me an extra ticket. Yeah, we became friends after that. I invited her to the game against the Jets cause our schedules aligned and yeah. She’s great.

Reporter: Gave her flowers recently, Joe? (*grins*)

Joe: (*shrugging his shoulders laughing*) Flowers? I don’t know? You tell me? Did I?

Reporter: I think you did.

Joe: She’s an amazing human being. So maybe I did. (*shrugs again*)

Reporter: Last question, Joe. How are you feeling that there is a possibility that you’ll be the highest paid NFL player is history?

Joe: That is not guaranteed yet as of the moment, so I don’t really feel anything about it— sure I’m flattered to be considered a valuable player but as of now it’s only a possibility. Ones it actually happens I’ll get back to you. (*chuckles*)

Reporters: Thank you so much, Joe.

Joe: Thank you.

comments…

𝐟𝐚𝐧1: WHO DEYYYYY🧡

𝐟𝐚𝐧2: Joe Burrow the man that you are 😩

𝐟𝐚𝐧3: he’s a homebody and so am I. We are perfect for each other joe.

𝐟𝐚𝐧4: OUR QB1

𝐟𝐚𝐧5: Joe gets it. Cause I could never get into country music.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧6: you’re missing out fr.

𝐟𝐚𝐧6: WE NEED HIM IN THE NEXT SEASON OF QUARTERBACK

𝐟𝐚𝐧7: his mentality. that’s it. that’s the comment.

𝐟𝐚𝐧8: his sense of humor makes him even more attractive 🤭

𝐟𝐚𝐧9: Miss Y/N really has this man blushing

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧10: nah fr cause he was all smiley when they asked about her.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧11: they both just confirmed that they are just friends but I call bullshit.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧12: friends for now.

𝐟𝐚𝐧13: he’s messing with us. cause you know damn well he sent those flowers.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧14: “She’s an amazing human being. So maybe I did.” I need that tattooed on my forehead.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧15: he definitely did.

𝐟𝐚𝐧16: MARK MY WORDS HE IS WINNING US THE SUPERBOWL THIS YEAR.

↳ 𝐟𝐚𝐧17: 💍💍💍

𝐟𝐚𝐧18: can I get flowers, Joseph? 🥲

𝐟𝐚𝐧19: he’s going to be the highest paid NFL player.

𝐟𝐚𝐧20: Joe and Y/N just be giving each other free tickets.

dividers: @cafekitsune

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @jackkyhughes @h0e4fictionalme-n @queenmendes @rd14 @scoobydoopoo @estapa94 @karmasabitchybitch @literaturelustrr @toterry @fangirl-madz @atticusismybae @stargaryenx @haydee5010 @porter113 @ryiamarie @starrgir1 @flwries @slafgoalskybaby @unsaidjaelinrose @in-my-body-bag @cixrosie @siutforjjmaybank @youn-jo @nobystanderz @bb-swift @buckystwilight @kidrauhlakaperf

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sebsrainbowbicycle · 2 months

Note

Whats your opinion on the whole Christian Horner thing?

Let me preface this by saying, I have intentionally stayed away from this subject for many reasons, but given there was an outcome of the investigation today, and some of the information I’ve seen here throughout the past weeks, now is as good a time as any to respond to this ask I got weeks ago. This is not, nor will I be offering in the future, my opinion on whether Horner is guilty of the accusations or not. I just want to maybe provide context, and information from my experience and career thus far, that might help people understand, and also my opinion on the reaction from people. Caveat - I am not a lawyer, nor will I go into specifics of my current or previous job, however I worked in the legal profession where I worked on legal cases, reviewed evidence, and made submissions and recommendations that went in front of Judges.

Okay my thoughts. My thoughts are that an internal investigation that should have remained private for all parties involved, especially the alleged victim(s), was leaked and used as clickbait and gossip by the media and people on here and other social media sites. I think people decided guilt without having any genuine information, without seeing the evidence and without any credible sources. I think were the person being accused a different member of the paddock that the reaction would have been different. I think people used this to virtue signal and cry out about what good people they are. I think people that constantly say that the media and journalists shouldn’t be trusted, fed into a feeding frenzy that led to the name of the alleged victim(s) being published, which will undoubtedly impact them for the rest of their lives.

Onto specific things I have seen that I’d like to offer my take on:

Christian allegedly offering the victim a sum of money - First of all, for anyone who has a certain amount of wealth, especially those in the public eye, this is a usual occurrence. You try to avoid an investigation by any means possible, whether you’re innocent or guilty, because a) it’s easier and usually cheaper in the long run, b) pr and public image are damaged by even unfounded accusations and these things can run on for an extremely long time, and c) trial by media is a thing, and innocent people get tarnished for the rest of their lives because of something they were accused of. Now, I’m not saying any of those are why the offer was allegedly made, but those are some of the reasons. Companies do the same thing, when someone has an accident at work and hurts themselves, even if the company do not believe themselves to be at fault they will make a settlement offer, to avoid any legal back and forth. Settlements are not an admission of guilt, but a way to make something go away quickly.

Said money being why the investigation “went away” - I saw a quote that said “the grievance has been dismissed”, that means there was a finding, not that it was withdrawn. even so, this was a red bull investigation carried out by an external barrister. Once the company were made aware of the allegations, their investigation is independent of either party involved, so even if the alleged victim(s) withdrew their grievance, the company would still have a duty of care to ensure that any inappropriate behaviour or actions were identified, investigated and addressed. Most importantly, red bull want to protect themselves legally, and following the procedures and carrying out a thorough investigation, which would identify if they were potentially exposed to risk, is how they do that.

How can they ignore 100’s of pieces of evidence - We don’t know that they did. It was reported, but never confirmed that there was over 100 pieces of evidence submitted, so this is absolute hearsay. Further, I would be extremely surprised if the investigation ignored any piece of evidence, given the ramifications of an incorrect or improper investigation. Also I think it’s really important to say that evidence does not equal guilt or that one party to the proceedings is correct. Allow me to provide you with a personal example. I worked on a case where there was over 5000 pages of evidence submitted into a legal bundle. Approximately 4000 of those were from the appellant who argued that the other party had acted incorrectly. (forgive my vagueness here I’m not about to doxx myself). 4000 pages of evidence, which I reviewed and made a decision that I did not support their argument. The judge agreed with me also. Evidence can be subjective, and sometimes it can be completely irrelevant. The presence, and submission of evidence is to support one sides view of things, the other side will have their own, and both are examined and balanced and decisions made on that and sometimes also on other independent investigation.

The investigation is private and cannot be shared - This is law. GDPR in fact because this is occurring within Europe. I’m literally spending this entire week on a GDPR course, and have an exam on Friday, so I really don’t want to go on about legal basis and restrictions for sharing personal data, but let me tell you it’s for good reason, especially with investigations like this. All parties involved in this have a legal right to privacy, covered by the human rights act, and unless there is a compelling legal reason why their data should be shared, then it can’t be without their explicit consent. Simple as. And that’s disregarding that there will be confidential company information within the investigation that also cannot be shared.

Horner committed a crime - given that we do not know the specifics of what occurred we simply don’t have enough information to know this, HOWEVER, from the information I have read, and by the fact that I have not seen an indication that the police have been involved with this, nor are they carrying out their own investigation, I am working under the assumption that no law has been broken.

tl;dr - These are real people’s lives, we are not involved and we have no right to know anything. This isn’t salacious gossip, and it’s not a fun thing to band around and use as a stick to beat people with to prove how good we are. Processes and investigations like this should be private, and basing things on hearsay and unscrupulous reporters does more damage to any alleged victims than good. Having seen how fans and social media have treated this investigation, do you think that makes any other alleged victims want to come forwards? I think not. But that’s just me.

#honestly I know some people are gonna think this is me publicly takkng a side but this is impartiality #because I don’t know the ins and outs of the case which is why I haven’t spoken on this before #people who know me know what side of the line I fall on #but this amount of misunderstanding wilful or not has been driving me insane #and how this has been treated like cheap gossip is frankly disgusting to me and some of you should be ashamed #ask #anon #Dee talks #Christian Horner

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ghostofwriting · 24 days

Text

Kildare Split Part Two: Place In Me

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 2: Place In Me

Note: Me: I don't know when I'll post chapter 2 maybe on the weekend but who knows. Also me: posts 3 hours after saying that. Once again I wanted to thank everyone for reading and interacting! I appreciate all of you so much. Not edited so be warned. I confused everyone with part 21 and this doesn't provide any answers! Just more context for other parts of the smau. Enjoy!

Warnings: none, bad writing, Rafe being mean, y/n being mean

Word Count: 3,371

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

She thought that she made herself clear and that they understood where she was coming from after her speech in the green room.

She’s not expecting Barry to be sitting on the couch of the tour bus she had chosen to sleep in, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead from her run, slightly out of breath.

When she opens the door and sees him sitting there, she jumps.

“Fuck, Barry what the hell?” Barry had a very specific regime for show days. He should’ve been napping on the other bus.

“We can’t go on hiatus. You’re being selfish.” She feels her ears start burning, she scoffs at him.

“Selfish? You better be kidding me. The audacity of you to come in here and accuse me of being selfish?”

“Y-” She doesn’t let him continue.

“I have put up with this bullshit for two years, Barry! Just because I’m tired and need a break doesn’t make me selfish.”

“If you would just talk to him.”

“No. Fuck you. No.”

“If you talk to him, and he explains himself, you’ll understand and this can all go back to normal.”

“No. I will not fix this. I don’t need to fix this.”

“What happened to be there for each other?”

“Barry. You and Topper were supposed to be there for me!” She snaps, her voice rising.

“You were the only people who knew exactly what I was going through not only with Rafe but with the fame and the drugs and the people wanting things from me. You were going through it too, I know you were. But you abandoned me the second Rafe decided to what? Get in a relationship? You threw me away, I was so alone!”

Tears are threatening to spill over now. She hates how she can’t get angry without crying.

“I went through everything by myself and the people I thought were my best friends abandoned me. I get it okay. You chose your boy. But I thought I meant something to you. I thought I was your friend. He broke my heart and my spirit.” She stops to catch her breath, “I was a shell of a person and you still didn’t even ask me if I was okay. In two years you haven't checked in.”

“y/n..”

“He told me he didn’t want to live without me and the next day I found out he was seeing Sofia. And suddenly I wasn’t his friend or his bandmate or even a person. I was just someone he fucked. And I don’t care why he said that. I don’t care if he meant it or not or if he was lost and scared. He still said it. I’m done. I’m done with him, I’m done with this Los Angeles, I’m done. I don’t owe him anything. I don’t need to talk to him.” She finishes her chest heaving. Barry is staring at her, eyes wide.

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay in the band. But it’s work. That’s all. We aren’t friends.”

Barry’s silent. Still sitting on the bus couch.

“Get out. Please.”

+++

The early days of getting over Rafe were hard. She wanted to go back to who she was before him. The version of herself before she got involved with him. Journaling and writing song lyrics and poems could only do so much. Everyone told her that she needed someone else. She understood that but she didn’t feel like it. She wasn’t ready to get her heartbroken all over again.

Not when she constantly got her heart broken on tour, not only when she saw Rafe making out with Sofia backstage but when Barry walked right by her without acknowledging her existence, or when Topper pretended not to hear her. Her heart cracked every time for the little girl who trusted these boys with her entire being and let them in only for them to stomp all over her.

She spent endless nights on tour, alone in her hotel room crying at the top of her lungs and on the tour bus muffling the sound of her sobs with her pillow. So when people suggested she needed to meet someone to get over him, well, it didn’t sound like a good idea to just let someone else in to break her even more when they eventually left.

It got better little by little, the heartache over her friends hating her. The heartbreak over Rafe choosing someone who wasn’t her, someone who was worth it. The loneliness never did. It was crippling how alone she felt. There were times when she wanted to go back to the drugs, drinking, and partying. She would feel so much better if she just couldn’t feel anymore. She didn’t go back on the promise that she made to herself. She would never be that afraid high out of her mind 17-year-old girl again.

She isn’t sure if she gets over Rafe or if she learned to live with the pain. Sometimes she thinks she’s so angry at him and that’s the reason she doesn’t want him. She misses him all the time, she thinks she’ll miss him forever. At least who they were before they had sex and fucked it all up.

She lets everyone know that when the time comes she’ll make them all aware. Cleo tells her that she better be the first one who finds out she’s seeing someone. She tells her that she wouldn’t have it any other way.

The day she met him was one of the most ordinary days she had lived in her entire life. She had woken up in her Los Angeles apartment, made herself breakfast, gone for a swim and gotten ready for the day. She didn’t have anything planned for the day, maybe tidy up a little, call Sarah, and run some errands. The craving to make brownies hits her out of nowhere, she doesn’t have any of the ingredients at her house though, the life of a touring artist.

She’s leaving the grocery store with her reusable bags filled to the brim with all her cravings. She’s digging in her tiny pink purse that can’t hold anything for her keys when she drops two of her bags.

She doesn’t want to get angry when she sees everything fall, she stares at it for a second, takes a deep breath and moves to pick it up. Once she gets everything together and packed up in her car, she decides that she needs a little treat for putting up with her groceries falling.

Her favorite pastry spot in LA is right by a hotel where all the celebrities who don’t live in the city full time. It’s usually a curse because everyone is hanging out or camping outside the hotel for a small glimpse of someone famous.

She thanks Caroline, the bakery owner and steps out of the store without looking at where she’s going. She feels herself collide into something strong and hard. Someone. Her pastries shake in the box. Of course, this would happen too. Why can’t she just keep herself from dropping her food today?

“I am so sorry.” She says to the man standing in front of her. He’s pretty, she thinks. Dark brown hair, almost black, brown eyes that look very familiar, and strong, and his arms are bulging where his black shirt sleeve ends. He’s hot.

“Don’t worry, you’re fine.” She hears his friend behind say something in a different language and the man in front of her shakes his head and smiles at her.

“Are they making fun of me for being a klutz?” He laughs.

“No, they think it’s funny that I would run into my celebrity crush. Literally.” Any other time, if someone confessed that she was their celebrity crush, she would run so far so fast. Something keeps her there, smiling like an idiot, at a loss for words. She says the first thing that pops into her head.

“Have we met? You look familiar.” She feels like she’s seen him somewhere but she can’t place him.

“Mira que te ha visto a través de la ventana.” one of his friends says, he shushes him not even turning to look.

“I’m an actor?” He says it like a question, his cheeks flush, and he’s embarrassed. It’s endearing.

“Yeah? Have I seen anything you’ve been in?”

“I doubt it.”

“So as your celebrity crush, it seems that I have a responsibility to watch whatever you’ve been in, don't you think?”

“No way.” He smiles at his friends doing a quiet chant of something behind him.

“No? Not even if you join me and walk me through it?” She knows she’s giving him eyes now, looking at him through her eyelashes, fluttering her eyelids a little too much. Her resolve is gone, she doesn’t know where her confidence is coming from and she’s going to use it until it’s gone.

“We could arrange that,” he pauses, “Julio.” He extends his hand out for her to shake.

“Y/N.” and maybe when she takes his hand she feels a shock run up her arm.

Maybe she’s being dramatic and jumping the gun but what if everything she’s been through led her to this moment? Right here with him.

+++

When Rafe finds out Y/N is seeing someone he tries not to lose it. He knows he has no right. His palms start sweating. He feels his breath shorten, he’s honestly a mess though he doesn’t show it.

At least not until Topper pushes him on the subject when they’re left alone.

“She’s seeing someone.” The room is eerily quiet, they’re in the studio recording their second album. Y/N had gone off to probably call her boyfriend and Barry was off doing who knows who.

“Yeah.” He’s short with his answer, scrolling on his phone to distract himself from the ever-intrusive thoughts of her her her.

“You good?” No. No, of course he’s not good.

“I have Sofia.” Topper clears his throat and continues his torture on him.

“Doesn’t answer my question.”

“Yeah.” He looks over at Topper, his eyebrows lifting in acknowledgement.

They stay quiet for a few more minutes, the questions and thoughts and everything eating at him.

“Who’s the guy?” The question forces its way out of his mouth. He doesn’t want to know anything about the man that holds her heart.

“Some actor,” Topper responds nonchalantly, looking at him like he’s going to blow up if he moves anymore.

“Cool.” He wants to claw his heart out. What the fuck is happening to him right now.

“Rafe.” Topper isn’t convinced that it’s cool at all. Because Rafe can lie to everyone in his life but not Topper.

“No yeah, that’s cool. It’s great, yeah, good for her.” He knows he still doesn’t sound convincing.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Let her be happy.” He’s going to be mature about this. He asked Sofia to marry him last year for god sake. If he gets to be happy, she does too. Is he happy?

“Rafe.” Fucking Topper and his questions.

“I’ve fucked her life up enough. She deserves this. Deserves someone.” It spills out of him again, his eyes meeting with Topper’s, begging him to stop.

“Do you ever miss her?” Topper’s not showing him any mercy today, wanting to know everything he’s kept inside for the past two years.

“More than anything.”

“You fucked up” understatement of his life. He ruined her and in turn, ruined himself. He was stupid and selfish and he deserved the worst.

“Yeah.”

+++

“You have to apologize to her.” Rafe’s once again fiddling with his guitar. The arena is empty except for the techs playing with lightingThe stage had been set up the night before. Y/N was with Sarah exploring the city before she had to be back for soundcheck. Barry was taking a nap and Topper was being a pain in his ass. He tweeted some bullshit at him and Rafe had called him back to talk.

“I don’t have to do anything, she’s leaving.”

“Yeah because of you. Because of what you did to her.”

“I seem to remember that you were included in isolating her.”

“That only happened because she was so hurt she pushed everyone away and I thought I would make it worse by forcing her to talk. Anyway, that’s between y/n and I. You need to take responsibility, Rafe.”

“For what? It wasn’t my fault I didn’t love her.”

“Oh fuck off Rafe. You loved her. You were just scared.”

“Of course I was scared! It could’ve ruined everything. The band, our careers.”

“You shouldn’t have ever gotten involved.”

“I couldn’t help it!” He closes his eyes, doing the breathing exercises they taught him in rehab, in therapy.

“Please, just talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want to hear it.”

“You have to try!’

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“You won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“Because I’m engaged. I’m with Sofia and I’m happy and if,” he breathes “if y/n were to even give me the slightest greenlight I would burn my whole relationship to the ground. Her whole relationship.” He says the last part under his breath, hoping Topper doesn’t hear it.

“What the fuck, Rafe?”

“I know.”

“Why now?”

“I did and said some shit back then to not fuck up the band. It was wrong, stupid and childish. It’s not a question of ‘why now,’ I never stopped.”

“You still love her.” Rafe doesn’t confirm or deny it. Topper shakes his head.

“You need to apologize.” Topper leaves Rafe to strum his guitar in thought.

+++

Everything changes when he comes into her life. It’s like she was living in this deep black hole of anger, sadness, and endless turmoil. He’s her calm. He grounds her and she feels like she can finally breathe. She hasn’t felt wanted in such a long time and even though they are long distance most of the time between his film schedule and her tours, she has never felt alone since meeting him.

She has a video from him every time she wakes up in the morning. Sometimes it’s just him telling her something that happened to him during the day, or a funny story, and sometimes he sings. She wishes she could drop an album just to feature him on it. She wants the entire world to know that he’s hers and she’s his and she is so incredibly in love.

It’s scary going from such a low to such a high. The extreme contrast is intimidating at times but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She learned what she wanted in a relationship from an extremely difficult situation and somehow it was all worth it as long as she got to have him in her life.

They’re together for a year before it gets out. They chose to be private about their relationship, it’s easy when he’s halfway across the world most of the time. That doesn’t stop her from spending every single moment that she isn’t on tour or in the studio next to him in Spain, Italy, France. She loves him. She would do anything for him. She knew that he was the one three weeks into their relationship and when she told him and he told her he felt the same, it confirmed it.

It’s her fault it gets out, he said it was about time and he wasn’t mad about it at all.

Sometimes she still finds that deep-seated anger she holds for Rafe bubbling over. It’s all-consuming and she can’t stop the venom that leaves her body.

When Rafe’s engagement gets out, she and Julio step out on a date night. Cleo calls the paparazzi for her. It’s a great plan until everyone is freaking out because they’re convinced she and Rafe were dating this entire time.

She loves her fans but sometimes the theories and threads get a little too much. Mostly because they’re correct most of the time.

At first, she was scared of Julio seeing all those things and seeing how everyone wanted her and Rafe to get married. She was scared he was going to run away. It never seemed to faze him. He never not once doubted her. He understands how people get and believes her when she tells him she chooses him for the rest of forever.

+++

Topper’s words haunt him. He wants to apologize to her and give her and himself some form of closure. He doesn’t know how to approach it. They haven’t talked in years, not really. How does he talk to the person that he hurt so much?

He catches her after soundcheck one day, his wringing his hands together, riddled with anxiety.

“Hey, Y/N?” He calls out after her as she passes him.

She slowly turns around and crosses her arms, raising her eyebrows at him in surprise.

“What can I do for you?”

He gulps as she looks at him expectantly.

“I was wondering if you had listened to the album?” What? Why the hell did he open with that?

“Why would I listen to the album?” She asks incredulously

“Well, because I mean it’s about,” he stumbles over his words, “I just wish you would listen to it and maybe hear me out.”

“You want me to listen to your album so that I can hear you?” She nods her head and puckers her lips.

“It’s so stupid that after all these years you can’t apologize to my face so you what? Make an album? Is your apology hidden in there somewhere?”

“Yes-No, I just think that if you gave it a chance, we could talk about it.”

“You want me to pretend to give a shit about your album when you can’t tell me how you feel right now in person?” She’s laughing a little now. Shocked at his suggestion. He wants the ground to swallow him whole.

“Please, can you just listen?”

“No Rafe. I am so done with this. I have been done with this. I don’t care about your album, I don't care about you.” Her words hit him like knives in his heart.

“Why do you care about my opinion about your album? Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t know that your album is about me? You called it Angel, Rafe! The fucking nickname that you gave me when we were 12 years old! I’m not some dumb girl who you can just manipulate and get whatever you want out of her. Not anymore. I am not that person for you.” She stops, her hands coming down from where she was waving them. He wants to say something but his mouth is dry and he has a ball the size of a grapefruit stuck in his throat.

“You made it incredibly clear to me that you don’t think of me as a person. Like- what did you say to me? That I’m just a fuck?” He grimaces when she throws his words from three years ago back at him.

“Yeah, you said I’m just some girl you fuck, ‘you’re just some girl I fuck I don’t care about you.’ Sound about right?” He can’t move. He’s frozen.

“You could have worded it a million different ways and still gotten your message across. You could have been so much nicer. Let me down easy. Let me know in a better way that you found someone that you wanted to get to know. I would’ve put everything aside and just been your friend but no, you decided that I meant nothing to you, that everything we had been through, everything we had built, Our friendship was not important to you.”

“Because I’m just someone you fucked. So, Don’t worry about me, don’t worry about my opinion because you’re just someone I fucked too and someone that I no longer care about. You are just my bandmate. You are just a coworker, I don’t think of you. I’m done with you. Keep your album. Good luck.”

He was so fucked. It would be a miracle if he ever got her to forgive him.

#kildaresplit au #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks au #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron smau #sorry if you hate it #don't tell me if you do

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fuck-customers · 4 months

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Kind of a fuck customers but also a satisfying story at the same time.

My role in the call center I work in involves taking specifically corporate calls, which means I spend all day talking to “business professionals” (and I use that term loosely) including CEOs. As you can imagine, over 90% of these CEOs are the scum of the earth and the most entitled assfaces on the planet.

A week or so ago, I took a call and went through my usual routine of greeting the cardholder and then began going over verification questions. Since we’re A.) a bank and B.) a bank that handles corporate and government credit cards, we take security seriously and require a caller to be able to verify 3 pieces of information based on what the person responsible for their credit cards put on the account. If they don’t pass, we refer them to their company to get the right details.

So as I’m doing this, the guy on the phone is getting increasingly irritated as he keeps getting the security questions wrong. I’m calm and professional the entire time but firm. Eventually I run out of things to verify with him and tell him that we won’t be able to assist and that he needs to contact his administrator. This is apparently where I went wrong.

“LADY I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR!!” He screeches. Ok, great. I look him up and that’s true but there’s a second admin listed, so I ask him to check in with him. He then yells “THERE IS NO OTHER ADMIN! I’M THE CEO OF THIS COMPANY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!”

I apologize and tell him while that may be true, he still got his security questions wrong and needs to reach out to his account coordinator then. This man then proceeds to scream at me for the next minute or so saying how we’re an awful bank, how he’s had problems with us for years, blah blah and how we have the worst customer service ever. Keep in mind, I’ve been nice and empathetic this entire time but also I’m not gonna lose my fucking job just because a guy in a suit doesn’t know his shit. I give him the email to his account coordinator and stress again that he needs to talk to them. Then this exchange happens:

Him: “So let me get this straight. You are saying you are REFUSING and UNWILLING to help me, right?

Me: “No, actually I’d love to help you, however we have these security procedures in place for yours and your company’s protection and cannot make exceptions for anyone.”

Him: “This is fucking UNBELIEVABLE! I’ve HAD IT with this bank!!”

Me: “Ok, I’m sorry to hear that. Anything else I can do for you before we disconnect?”

Him: “WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I NEED YOUR NAME. NOW.”

Me: *gives my first name and spells it for him even though it’s a very basic 4 letter name because I’m a bitch*

Him: YOUR LAST NAME.

Me: “We don’t give out anything but our first name for the safety of our employees.”

Him: *insert that condescending, pissed off chuckle middle aged men do when they’re mad here* “Well I’ll tell you what (My Name), when I close this account and pull my MILLIONS OF DOLLARS out of (bank name) and they ask me why, I’ll make sure to tell them that it’s (My Name)’s fault. And I will see to it that you won’t be able to get another job outside of the minimum wage fast food job or whatever you had before this. How does that sound?”

Me: “Sounds great. Now seeing as how this conversation is no longer productive or professional and threats are being made, I’ll be terminating the call, have a nice day.”

Him: “DO NOT HANG UP O-“

Me: *click*

And that’s how making rich, powerful men rage-cry became my new favorite hobby. Thankfully, I haven’t gotten any feedback on that call; not that I would, seeing as how I did my job exactly how I was supposed to. Anyways I hope I’m his 13th reason. ❤️

Posted by admin Rodney.

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slickfordain · 1 year

Text

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Yandere behavior, but we all know I always write Yandere on Tumblr. No specified gender for you. Also, reader with my personality again— since some people liked it very much.

Edit: I forgot to say the kids in Genshin are all platonic 💀

Teyvat is aware of their divine using them as a vessel. Teyvat is aware Celestia cannot defeat you either… As Celestia was obviously made by you. However, you have some concerning habits… Some are very very cute in your harem’s eyes ~ While some makes them worry for your health.

You have a problem with making your Genshin self-insert insert having such a gruesome backstory, it makes them wanna cry and hug your self-insert in their world. Apparently, your insert is indeed inserted in the game— ahah, when you shut off the screen and log off of course ♡

Perhaps, let’s say Zhongli would pick up on how you eat a lot of food… It amazes him. You even have a lot of mora, that you only spend it on food and nothing else. It… Does make him worry— But Yanfei would definitely sign the chefs to make your favorite dishes, just in case ~

Xingqiu would pick up on how you write an unfamiliar word called “Fan-fictions”. It has some Japanese words such as “Yandere” and “Tsundere”. He listened further into your works, and goodness, he has never felt so called out in his entire life when you specifically explained what Yanderes are. If you liked writing about Yanderes… You wouldn’t mind him being one for you, would you?

Childe would laugh his ass off whenever he hears you talking constantly to yourself, pretending as if you’re responding to them. But this makes him think you’re trying to communicate with him and Teyvat, makes his heart sore so much. You’re so sweet and acknowledging everyone, specifically him. ♡

Characters such as Pantalone and Baizhu have a realization you love spending Primogems on wishes, and always wasting them. So what do they do? Mischievously somehow gain Primogems for you, which you didn’t complain about at all.

People also have heard about your hatred towards Albert for being a creepy stalker. Now, this made Mondstadt furious at Albert. Not only does he stalk poor Barbara, he even dared to boldly disappoint you. (Barbatos killed him ehe)

Barbara has never felt so loved this much, she wants to bawl her eyes out — to show how much she loves and adores you.

Characters like Razor and Raiden Ei have come to realization you love sleeping around so much, they’ve gotten to know you sleep in work from time to time whenever it’s break. They take this advantage to make a setup room for you, where either of them can hold you in their arms and cuddle as they sleep against you.

Beidou, Lisa and Yae Miko would often see that you especially get easily injured. I’m not saying they’re the only ones terrified— trust me, many people in Teyvat are going to kill whoever hurt you,,, but they are the ones who ends up hearing about your condition. They’re so worried when they find out you don’t scream in pain, nor do you care about it because you’ve always been clumsy since childhood. They’re so worried, they might have a heart attack someday.

The Adeptus’ pick on the fact you like listening to “8-bit” version of music… It sounds hard to play, but they can’t deny you did have taste in music. Makes the guy from Lantern lite quest more inretested with you, and wishes to know you more! Or more so… Perhaps Enjou would take interest in this.~ He’s just as silly as you, why not?

Dainsleif notices how you stare at his character with adoration and love his design oh so much, that he also knows you love drawing, just like Albedo. Hearing this, Albedo loves you to death, like… Literally.

Aether hearing you’re also unstoppable that even Unknown God can’t stop you? Goodness this boy is falling in a deep rabbit hole for falling for you~!

Paimon sees you as a mother/father figure too honestly… Paimon relates to you so much about food, and always gets so happy when you agreed by getting food. Despite your tired expression, she just wants to cry because you did not once call her an “Emergency food”.

How about your complex theories? Tighnari and Al-haitham will have a whole set of a store with written details about your theories. You did die when Teyvat was made, so makes sense why you didn’t know everything. (…. You ate popcorn and watched your show as Archon war was a thing.) Every theories, is about very interesting things.

Snezhnaya and Tsaritsa would be so happy when they find out your world was filled with snow (to those who live in a snowy weather like me), and would flex it off to other nations like cocky little bastards. They see this as a blessing, and would try getting to know your culture by just the fact you and them have snow. That would mean you wouldn’t be cold in their place, right?

How about Fontaine being in horror when they find about your Creepypasta and FnaF books? They’ll keep themselves aware of the woods and will isolate any innocent beings from anywhere that involves woods and trees. Jeff the killer and Jeffrey C. Hodek (canon Jeff) definitely traumatized numerous of the people in Fontaine, considering their skins got burned a lot.

Yelan being also surprised she and other rich people in Teyvat, are in fact not the richest people in their own world after learning that… Moras aren’t actually real money? I can see Mona laughing at their misery, even though she’s sad she doesn’t exist literally in your world. How the fuck is she supposed to kiss hug you huh?

Venti and Nahida being so drawn to your morning voice, hearing you cursing as they didn’t know what the meanings behind those languages meant. Nahida would stare at your face in awe, listening to your stories as Venti would too, making a song about it probably— only for it to go downfall when they realize you occasionally hurt yourself in work. They’re horrified. YOU FELL OFF THE STAIRS??! They’re gonna faint.

Cyno who is in love with a heated face when he learns you love jokes, hearing you making a dark humor that just has him down bad for you— and ends up laughing. Your dark humor never goes too far, and he just loves it that you can accept his jokes. He is definitely going to be very loyal towards you…

Imagine Scaramouche/Wanderer lovingly gazing at your side view as you try to do makeup real quickly before playing your game. It didn’t matter. He loved your little habit of always doing your makeup first— and then play. He’s patient, and will always try his best… Ends up killing Hilichurls under one second, oops~

With everyone in Teyvat learning about your habits, learning about your talents…

They officially are definitely in love with you. They will always love you. They know when it’s you, even if someone tries to look like you and act like you to get attention. It will never work. They don’t care what form you take, because they’re obsessed and in love with the idea of you. They will only love you, you you you. You’re genderless? They’ll love you, you’re a bully? They’ll love you. It doesn’t matter what form you take.

They will always love you, [Name].

I wanna do a small love hc with Dainsleif and Pantalone x reader because I’m in love with them ♡ but I also wanna do persona insert x canon… Man.

#various x reader #various #yandere x reader #sagau x reader #yandere sagau genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #sagau cult au #sagau brainrot #yandere sagau #sagau fluff #sagau headcanons

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handmade-witch · 1 month

Text

part 6 of Slytherin Boys x Incorrect Quotes~~

Part 1 ☆ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5

Draco: Am I right, Mattheo?

Mattheo: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

[Y/N]: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Can I ask you for a favor?

[Y/N]: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Theodore: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: Is something burning?

Lorenzo, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Mattheo: Lorenzo, the toaster is literally on fire.

☆☆☆

Lorenzo: Are you okay?

[Y/N], crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Lorenzo: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to [Y/N]?

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: I’m sad.

Lorenzo: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Lorenzo: And das not good.

☆☆☆

Blaise: You know you can die from that, right?

Theodore: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.

Mattheo: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.

[Y/N] and Lorenzo: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

☆☆☆

Kidnapper: We have your child

[Y/N]: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

[Y/N]: Oh god, you have Draco

☆☆☆

Theodore: Where are you going?

[Y/N]: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Theodore: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Mattheo, knowing full well that Theodore got [Y/N] an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Mattheo: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

[Y/N]: You don’t have to wear…

Mattheo: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Hey Blaise, do you wanna help us?

Blaise: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

☆☆☆

Theodore: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Mattheo: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I am the most responsible person in the group.

Blaise: …You just set the kitchen on fire.

Mattheo: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: We need to open this locked door. Blaise, give me your credit card.

Blaise: Here.

[Y/N], pocketing it: Thanks. Mattheo, break down the door.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: We all have our demons.

[Y/N], grabbing Mattheo: This one’s mine.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: This date is boring!

[Y/N]: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Mattheo: Then why did you invite me?

[Y/N]: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you [Y/N] I'll do whatever I want!

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Why are you following me?

Theodore: Because we're dating now.

[Y/N]: Okay... what about Mattheo?

Theodore: We're a package deal.

Mattheo: Buy one idiot, get one free.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: *sneaking in through their window*

Lorenzo: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Mattheo: I was with Theodore?

Theodore: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

[Y/N]: But we lost Draco.

Mattheo: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

#slytherin boys #lorenzo berkshire #theodore nott #blaise zabini #draco malfoy #harry potter universe #matteo riddle #lorenzo berkshire x reader #theodore nott x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #incorrect quotes

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livelaughlovesubs · 1 month

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what do you think bsd men would be with a girl who is really hyperfeminine (ex loves sanrio, short skits and stuff) but still loves topping?

It literally does not matter what you like and how you look as long as you click. (Also tell me if you want any specific characters I didn’t mention)

I imagine them not minding it neither way, because you can wear a skirt or pants and still fuck them into oblivion. Though there are some that might get fooled by your appearance. It’s the first impression after all.

Dazai would probably tease you about it from time to time, “when I first saw you, I thought you were such a nice and innocent girl! Who knew you were into such freaky stuff?” He’d joke about it all the time, just to provoke you. Then he’d add, “but I love all woman, even if you are a beast in bed.” And wink at you. Now it’s your choice what you will do to him later, maybe you should punish that cheeky tongue of his.

Atsushi would probably be a bit embarrassed, that he needs a girl to take care of him, especially if you are shorter or look younger than him. You just have to assure him it’s alright to feel this way, and it’s alright to show emotions, cry, whatever. He gets embarrassed easily, or flustered, so it’s almost the same no matter what body Typ. You could be taller than him and hug him from behind, he’d blush already. Or as mentioned be shorter and nuzzle into his chest, and he’ll turn red. Also if you flirt with him, and he does catch on, then it really doesn’t matter if you look very feminine or not, he’d be nervous and fumbling with his thumbs the entire time.

Kunikida, I gotta say, he feels like the traditional reserved type of person, though secretly (unbeknownst to him) also a freak. Probably wrote in his book something about a nice and healthy relationship, a girly girl who is mature and gentle, and vanilla. Maybe someone who works part time so that they could take care of the household? He works full time after all. So consider him surprised when he found out about you, cuz your appearance made him believe you were very.. well, basic. (There is nothing wrong with basic) though to think you’d make him so such humiliating stuff.. you better not leave him now, not after seeing all those sides of him.

Sigma likes people who knows what they want and want to be, who can decide. Because he has a few problems with his identity. That’s why he really admires how you carry yourself, and know what you like. Fashion wise or others. You know what you like and you stand behind it, go for it girl. Also, I think sigma likes the high fashion, like a small hobby he has, so he’d love to go shopping with you and discuss outfit ideas. He probably enjoys a wide range of styles.

Fyodor also thought you would be a total sub, he just guessed. Turns out he guessed completely wrong, his mistake, can he make up by drinking a shot? Anyway, as long as you are useful, he doesn’t really care how you present yourself. The skills are what’s important. But to be honest, at first, he was trying to find a very traditional partner. It’s what he believes in. A good wife who cooks and takes care of the house, and obeys. That’s what he was looking for, if he wanted a relationship in the first place. It’s what’s written in the bible, he wanted to follow it. After spending a night with you, he had to think about it again. It felt too good to give up, and honestly, just because you top or dom doesn’t mean you won’t fulfil the requirements, no? Even if you didn’t, well, he was god’s chosen one he can make a special case just for you.

Nikolai would ask you to dress up as a clown with him. If you refuse, he’ll keep asking. So yea, he doesn’t really care what you like or look, he will make you into clowns and magic shows. It’s a part of getting closer to him, there is no roundabout. (Rip those who have a phobia against clowns, but if you do why would you like Nikolai in the first place) jokes aside, I’m sure he won’t really force you into liking all that. Probably…

Chuuya would find it pretty practical, cuz similar to sigma, you know what you like or who you are so you are easy to read. He doesn’t need to think that long to guess what kind of stuff you’d like, it’s practical. But he’ll still take ages to find the *perfect* present for you. Most of the time he’ll buy more than one, if you don’t like it throw it away. If you are even shorter than him, it’d boost his ego, cuz, yea, short people struggles. Though that ego would be gone after you show him who’s top, and he’d be pouting for a while. He thought he could finally stand over someone! He was taller but somehow he didn’t feel like he actually was! It’s not a negative feeling though, not at all. And you being girly didn’t matter, you look gorgeous anyway. Just say the word and he will silence anyone who thinks otherwise.

#sub bsd #sub bungou stray dogs #sub character #sub!character #dom reader #dom!reader #sub dazai #sub dazai osamu #sub chuuya #sub fyodor #sub nikolai #sub sigma #sub atsushi #sub kunikida #bsd fluff

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hopelesslyromanticshark · 2 months

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night! uh, can u do sum for me like, it would be very very cool from you. can you do like jason x apollo reader that she’s like a ray of sunshine with absolutely anyone and he’s like so in love but she doesn’t know until he wins capture the flag/war games (it depends on wich camp they’ll be) and he’s like “this win is for y/n” and she’s like “oh my father does he like me back?” pls pls??

oh and thank you thank you thank you for writing so well and about jason (he’s so perfect but so underrated i’m crying.) thanks again, i luv ur writing!

⋆⭒˚.⋆ jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader hcs

content: jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader hcs warning: none that i can think of???? author's note: this is for the THREE people that all asked for jason grace x daughter of apollo. it was really scary yall like coordinated that shit bc they all came in at the same time- also...why does apollo reader ALWAYS kick my ass like this was such a bitch to write and like...why???? stupid fucking god of poetry, suck a dick bro fr let me write in peace. im already dyslexic, what more could you want from me??

jason grace had got the hots for the sun's daughter

he couldn't help it

she was just so sweet from the moment he'd met her

he'd been helping leo with something in bunker nine

one second he was holding up sheet metal, the next it was crashing down against his already sensitive nogin

leo rapidly took the son of jupiter to the infirmary, where jason met you

"oh, jeez. another head condition, mr. grace?? giving that brain a run for it's money," you mused with a beaming smile and a soft wink

and jason was a goner

you weren't even a healer, you just liked to make the patients feel better with jokes or legit just your bubbly personality

from that moment on, jason used every excuse to be near you as much as he could

and everyone could tell what was going on with the golden boy

except, naturally, you

which frustrated jason to no end

"do you wanna come hang out in my cabin?" he offered, fighting off his blush mentally

"we always hang out in your cabin, silly," you replied with a winkle of your nose before linking your arm with jason and dragging him off, leaving him to sigh behind your back

"i- i like that shirt on you, y/n. looks really, really good," he tried again in the middle of archery practice, completely missing a shot to tell you that.

"thanks!! it's kayla's but she let me borrow it for today," you hummed, shooting a perfect bullseye shot without any effort, beaming a smile at the boy, who deflated at your lack of flirty response.

then, jason got a brilliant idea when he was talking to percy about capture the flag

he was gonna win, hopefully single handedly, and then do some grand romantic gesture and ask you on a date

should be easy for a child of the big three

except for the fact that his group was against the nike cabin, who were foaming at the mouth for a win

he prayed the gods, more specifically aphrodite, were on his side

the day finally came and jason was completely in the zone, never wanting to win something more in his entire life

well, maybe your heart but still

from the moment the conch shell blew, he was a man on a mission

people began parting out of his way, not wanting to get caught up in that mess

which made it easier to find the flag, some of the demeter kids even pointing him in the right direction

once he found it, he just dropped his sword and sprinted it over the river

bro was fast as lightening

and i think some people were kung fu fighting???

(that made me gag, i apologize-)

(could i delete it?? yes. but if i have to suffer the cringe, so do you.)

ANYWAYS, MOVING ON

jason and his team were dubbed the winners, the flag changing to match cabin one and laurels were placed on his head

bro was pracing around like a show pony, searching the crowd for you

"way to go, jason! congrats, but we're so getting you next time!" you giggled, beaming up at the blonde boy, who couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from you

"well, as far as prizes go, id say these laurels are pretty crappy," jason hummed, removing the crown of golden leaves from his head and inspecting it.

just like he practice in the mirror every morning leading up to this day, same with his words.

this is scripted and being spontaneous wasn't exactly the son of jupiter's strong suit

especially not around pretty girls

"do you guys getting better prizes at new rome or-?" you questioned and you would have said more but then jason gently placed the laurels on your head, smiling as you looked up at them in confusion.

"there, that's a much better prize," he smiled, which only widened as you blushed, ducking your head and causing the laurels to slip slightly

"that's- that's very sweet, jason," you muttered, rocking on your heels as you looked away from him.

the boy you were completely enamored with was telling you he thought you were a prize when you were certain he didn't even like you

like bro wtf???

"well, a sweet girl like you deserves very sweet," he added, enjoying the blush that was settling over your cheeks, "you wanna, maybe, go on a picnic with me?"

"YES- er, yeah, uh, that sounds great. totally, yes, im down," you reply, trying to desperately recover from your far to eager response.

"sounds like a date," jason mused, his smile unstoppable around the sunshine girl.

"more war spoils for the victor?" you teased, pushing the laurels pointly up on your head.

"if you were my war spoils, i'd never lose another fight."

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus x reader #jason grace #jason grace x reader #jason grace x y/n #all my love ౨ৎ

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gentaro-kinniecom · 2 months

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In another life, perhaps

Characters: Love and deepspace boys x gn!reader

C/w: Angst, events in which the boys remember a specific memory with you before returning to the reality. Reader calls Rafayel “Raf” for short and he calls them his beloved. First person pov !

A/n: I’ve never almost written angst before so 😭 I’m in the making of a few love and deepspace fanfics so..we’ll see <3

Xavier

It was the first time I’d see him cry. Xavier’s tears ran down his cheeks while looking up at the stratosphere. The stars seemed to shine bright for him, as Xavier turned towards me, he held my hand close to his chest where his heartbeat was. Almost as if he didn’t want to let go, I then looked up at the same starry sky that he was staring at a few moments ago. A shooting star appeared suddenly, my eyes never leaving it as I spoke.

“Did you make a wish?” I inquired, wiping his tears away while watching as he drew me closer.

“Yes, of course I did”

“What did you wish for?” His eyes were glossy as Xavier responded, brushing stray hairs away from my face.

“I wished..to have you by my side, always.” I chuckled, hitting his chest slightly as Xavier watched with an amused face.

“You’re so silly! Of course I’m going to be here forever, do you ever doubt it?” More tears streamed down his face, sitting close to the gravestone while placing some white lilies, whispering his final goodbyes

“Promises don’t last forever after all..but I’ll be waiting somewhere, if the stars allow us to meet again”

Rafayel

“Why are you crying Raf?” I asked, brushing some tears away from his face. Rafayel was pouting slightly as he kept me close, waves crashing against the shore, the only sound surrounding us.

“Who said I was crying?” He spoke, voice cracking as evidence of what he felt at the moment. My hands took hold of his shoulders, leaning against his chest while Rafayel looked at the many seashells that washed up from the current waves. I then grab his chin, pulling him down to see his eyes a bit red from all the crying.

“Your eyes say otherwise, Rafayel. Tell me, what troubles you?” Rafayel then pressed up a conch shell against my ear, allowing me to hear the sounds of the ocean while falling asleep on his shoulder. Waking up minutes later to see that I was still in his arms, a vice grip around my waist supported my body up, almost as if he was afraid of losing me.

“I don’t want to ever forget you, please, stay” My gaze falls upon the necklace around my neck, taking it off and wrapping it around Rafayel’s while smiling

“I’m not going anywhere Raf, I’m sure of that. '' The water felt cold around Rafayel’s body as he submerged himself in the depths of the ocean, trying to keep the memory of them alive, holding the necklace around him softly while staring into the vast sea.

“If only I hadn’t let you go, my beloved”

Zayne

Watching the northern lights while Zayne cried was such a rare sight to see. The always stoic doctor had been reduced to nothing but shambles at my presence, I smiled, hoping it would comfort him as Zayne’s body stood beside my own despite the cold.

“Zayne..?” His eyes looked into mine, trying to get a sense of his current reality while I felt my fingertips go cold due to the freezing temperatures.

“Don’t worry about me..but you’re freezing, allow me.” Without even asking for anything, Zayne’s hands intertwined with mine. A small smile made my worries cease a bit while he kissed my now warm hands so tenderly, what did I even do to deserve this type of treatment from him?

“Are you sure? The northern lights are a sight to behold but..” I trailed off, sitting down on one of the chairs Zayne was kind enough to bring for tonight. My hands never seemed to leave his grasp, almost as if he’d never want to let go.

“If you could ask the universe for anything, what would it be?” My sudden question made Zayne’s face light up slightly, looking at me before gazing at the sky and its beautiful spectacular. He took a deep breath before answering.

“I’d ask the universe..for more time; the one thing I didn’t have to save you and now..I’ve lost you once again.” Zayne glanced now at the empty seat beside him that contained the scarf he gifted her, holding back tears while gazing at the nightly sky.

#love and deepspace angst #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace xavier #xavier x reader #xavier love and deepspace #xavier #xavier x you #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #rafayel love and deepspace #rafayel #rafayel x you #love and deepspace zayne #zayne x reader #zayne love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x you

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hanggarae · 4 months

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MONSTER - I’M CREEPING IN YOUR HEART BABE

↺ content your new ceo getting on your nerves the first day you meet him, part of my ‘promotion’ series, ceo!jeonghan, f!office worker!reader, jeonghan’s an asshole, suggestive, doyoung is ur coworker, jealous jeonghan for like a second, this is honestly hardly a tear jerker so idk if it’s technically angst but ig ?? idk 😞

↺ a/n : 2.5k words (yikes!), npr, another enemies to lovers jeonghan everyone act surprised this is my first time writing anything suggestive do NAWT perceive me rn 😭☝🏼 this is also loosely based on the lyrics of monster by exo saurrrr it might be fun listening to that while reading idk

“That soon?” your group manager sighed a few feet ahead of your desk. He'd been frustrated at whatever conversation he was having over the phone for the last ten minutes now. You tried not to pay it any mind but it was getting harder now that it got him so worked up his voice could be heard through the entire office.

Your coworker Doyoung looked at you and looked like he wanted to cry. You tilted your head a little confused at what happened to him.

“If he’s this mad about something you just know the rest of us are going to get dragged in too?” he groaned before you could ask him what’s up.

“Who is he even talking to?” you asked him while rolling your chair away from your computer.

“The boss” Doyoung sighed. “The boss as in the ceo you idiot” he continued when you still looked confused.

You mouthed a silent ‘oh’ quickly understanding why your boss was so frustrated. You didn't know much about the ceo except for the fact that he only recently took over. His father retired less than a year ago and you all got the announcement that the current ceo took over only three months ago.

The Yoon company was huge and had establishments all over the country, even some internationally. You figured he would eventually visit each office to oversee what everyone was doing (read: stress everyone out for a twenty minute visit).

Before you could groan at the thought of it your manager got off the phone and clapped to get everyone’s attention. “So that was the ceo’s assistant” he said tiredly, “he’s coming this Friday”

It was almost comedic how instantly everybody complained. You couldn’t blame them. That was three days away, was he insane?

“The problem with Mr Yoon is that if you’re not ahead of the work, you’re behind. So even if we’re for the most part caught up with everything, he’ll likely find a way to complain about our branch.” You watched your manager scan through his personal spreadsheet that kept track of everyone’s work and current projects before he turned to you. “y/n I hate to throw this on you but you and Mingyu are the only ones not currently working on any specific project. Do you think the two of you could get started on that project for the Yang family?”

You knew what he was talking about. It was a project that you were supposed to work on in a month. “If we get it started early maybe he’ll cut us some slack on taking our sweet time with that project for Miss Park”

You nodded, agreeing to get started with the presentation for it. You’d essentially be doing this alone because Mingyu was still on a leave for visiting his family and he’d get back after the ceo was done visiting.

The next two days you spent getting less than three hours of sleep. At first Doyoung encouraged you to just half-ass the presentation but you knew that there was still the off chance that the ceo still went through the work thoroughly, if he did you don’t know how you’d be able to explain why the work was done at such a low level.

You managed to scrape together getting most of it done. The entire project was nowhere near done but considering the actual meeting for it was two months away, getting the presentation done already would surely put you and the office in the ceo’s good books.

Sipping your coffee, you trudged to your desk and stifled a yawn as you settled your things down. Looking at the calendar on your computer you confirmed it was Friday, meaning the ceo that made your last few days hell would be coming today.

You arrived here earlier than usual so you could make sure everything was set up correctly and quickly get one of the supervisors to double check the presentation.

“Look alive, his car just pulled up” Doyoung muttered, walking around your desk to get to his own and get his own belongings settled.

You sighed, mentally preparing yourself for the day. You just knew it’d be a long one.

The double doors pushed open, revealing who you assumed was the ceo. You knew he was young but you didn’t think he’d be that handsome, and oddly.. familiar? You didn’t even realize you were staring until Doyoung tapped you and beckoned you to get back to work.

“Everyone, this is Mr Yoon, the new ceo” your manager stepped aside to allow the ceo to take the center.

“It’s nice to meet you all, my name is Jeonghan. I look forward to seeing what everyone in this branch is capable of” he smiled.

‘Jeonghan’ talked to your manager before sauntering over to your desk, a polite business smile on his face. “I understand you are the one working on the Yang family project Miss..” he looked for your name tag. When he saw it you swear something in his face changed when he sneered speaking your name.

He looked back to your face, observing you before the corner of his lip quirked up. “It would seem like you are this branch’s most capable employee, Miss y/n”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that-” you tried to object.

“Come with me. Bring the presentation materials with you” he turned, not willing to hear any objection from your manager.

You hadn’t practiced presenting it, barely rereading any of the actual information on the slides. For the most part, you’d have to wing it.

As expected, the presentation was somewhat of a mess. The lack of sleep got to you so you weren’t as engaging with the presentation as you’d usually be, on top of that whenever you looked over at Jeonghan it felt like you were tripping over your words even more. It almost felt like he was staring and smirking at you on purpose.

By the time you were done with the presentation it was time for your break. You needed to unwind after the morning you had, scrolling through your phone and checking for any food places nearby that were open. You’d forgotten to pack a lunch and usually you’d deal with it, drinking an extra coffee instead but you desperately needed to just eat anything good to get your mind off of your annoying ceo.

Before you called and ordered, you figured you’d ask if anybody else wanted something too. You first asked your manager and were about to ask Doyoung except the ceo decided to strike up a conversation with him. Too hungry to wait you decided to just walk up and ask, it was your break anyway who cared?

“Hey Doyoung, I’m headed out for lunch. You want me to grab you anything to eat?” you asked him, not paying your ceo any mind while you felt him staring at you.

“Sure. I’ll text you, thanks” he smiled.

Before you headed off you decided to ask the ceo too since he seemed like the type to hold a grudge if you didn’t. “I’m alright, thank you for the offer”

“Here’s your food Doyoung” you smiled tiredly while you handed your coworker the bag.

You sat at the table with your own lunch, getting your food out and scrolling through your phone. You got a notification from that dating app you’d been using for a couple months now, answering the texts from the guy you’d been texting back and forth for a while now. His name was Minseok, you were originally supposed to go out with him a few days ago but had to take a raincheck to work on the project.

Just as you were about to text back that you too were excited for the date tonight, you felt your ceo looming over your shoulder.

“y/n. After you’re done with your break, come see me in my office” Jeonghan said plainly before stalking off.

You gulped, trying to shake off the nerves before focusing on your meal.

You weren’t sure if you wanted the break to end quickly or drag on. On one hand you wanted to get whatever Jeonghan was going to say over and done with, but on the other hand you didn’t want to have to actually deal with whatever he was going to say.

When your break did end, you were hesitant to see him, contemplating outside of his door for a few moments before sighing and biting the bullet. You straightened out your attire before walking into his office and walking toward his desk.

“You asked me to see you, Sir?” you smiled curtly.

“Take a seat” he pointed in front of the desk, opposite from him. “I’ve been thinking, I eventually need to stay in one branch and I want that branch to be this one” he tapped his desk while he spoke uninterested in his own words.

“The reason I’m telling all of this to you,” he circled his desk to stand directly at you. Eyes looking up at his, you gulped taking in his appearance. You really did not like him but you couldn’t deny he was good looking, bangs falling neatly over his eyes and looming over you like you were his prey.

“I’m telling you this because I want you to be my assistant” he smiled, despite that you felt like it was a trap.

Your mouth went dry and you forced out your next words, “assistant?”

“Don’t make that confused face, it makes you look stupid,” he laughed, causing your blood to boil. “You have excellent organizational skills, I could really use that in an assistant”

As much as you hated his guts, it was a good opportunity. If you worked up from his assistant you could eventually be a branch manager yourself one day. But the thought of working with him seemed like hell. Still, you bit back the bitter taste in your mouth, “I’d be delighted to, Sir. Thank you for the opportunity”

“Excellent” Jeonghan clapped, “your first task will be planning out my schedule for the new year. Make yourself comfortable and work at that spare desk over there” he dropped his planner and notes from his former assistant onto your lap before heading out of the office.

You stared at the mess for a few seconds, feeling yourself get more annoyed by the second. “Oh and y/n” he popped his head back in the door, “you’re not allowed to clock out until all of that is organized, understand?”

And he left again before you could confirm or oppose his decision. You decided it was useless trying to argue and settled with texting Minseok that you’d have to take another raincheck. Judging by the way he read the message but didn’t reply, it was safe to assume that it might not ever be rescheduled.

Hours passed and you were still only about halfway through planning the ceo’s schedule. You knew everyone was clocking out when you saw Doyoung wave pitifully at you through the glass door.

“You haven’t changed one bit, you know that?” Jeonghan piped up when the entire floor left for the night. In all honesty you’d forgotten he was still here considering he napped at his desk the first chance he got.

“What are you talking about?” you frowned. What did he mean? When did he ever know you prior to this?

“You never speak up, do you? Even back in high school you never did” he laughed mockingly.

High school? Okay, what was wrong with- oh. Now you remember. Yoon Jeonghan, you don’t know how it took so long to put two and two together. You were both in the same honors class in high school and constantly competed for the top spot. You didn’t necessarily resent him much at first but given how he was constantly pushed by his family to be the best, he loathed you for coming in his way of it. Because of this, he eventually made your life a living hell too, so you graduated hoping you’d never see him again.

“Remember now, huh? God I hated you, always being such a nuisance” he sneered down at you. You didn’t process him closer to you until he leaned over your desk and now face to face with you. “How does it feel to know you ended up below me anyway?”

You didn’t want to start an argument with your new boss, especially considering you’d be working with him at all times now. But you remembered his comment from earlier and it annoyed you how he spoke to you like you were inferior to him.

“It doesn’t feel like anything. Because I know that I at least earned my spot here, all you did was happen to be born in a good family” you watched as his smirk turned sour, anger crossing his face before he laughed lowly.

“You’ve got some nerve for talking to your boss like that. I could fire you right now, you want that y/n?”

The taller man laughed at the fear that flashed in your eyes. “Oh you poor thing, ran out of arguments?” he pouted condescendingly. “You were so confident a second ago, is one little threat all it takes to mess you up?”

You didn’t respond to his taunts, biting back your tongue so you couldn’t respond. It was pointless, he wasn’t the type to let you go easily if you argued back and he wasn’t worth losing your job over.

“You’re really boring me now y/n” he chuckled, “come on fight back a little, yeah?”

You turned to look at his face but gasped when you realized he’d gotten even closer, his face mere centimeters away from your own. “Jeonghan” you sighed, eyes fluttering shut to avoid his hard stare.

“Who gave you permission to call me by my name? You’re just my employee y/n. You worked so hard when we were younger just for you to be my lowly employee” he laughed in your face.

His words caused small tears to swell in your eyes and you tried to blink them away before he noticed them.

“Isn’t that just so cute?” Your boss cooed, wiping at your tears, “don’t cry baby”

You let out a small gasp at the pet name, desperately hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“You like that, huh?” Jeonghan observed your face, drinking in your appearance, looking a mess as a result of his harsh words and treatment. “Wonder what else you like” he mumbled, slim fingers moving from your cheeks to slide over your neck, eventually settling on your shoulder.

“Get back to work, yeah?” he left before you could say anything else. You watched as he walked away, taking this as your chance to leave. He could ridicule for it tomorrow but you couldn’t stay here any longer, not when you felt the need to kiss him right there.

Get a grip! You hated him! And he hated you, albeit that realisation did sting a little.

Ugh and you couldn’t even avoid him anymore, you were literally his assistant now there was no avoiding him. Whatever, he’d get bored of trying to get a rise out of you in a month or less so all you had to do was put up with him until then.

#seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x y/n #yoon jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x you #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan angst #jeonghan imagines

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