#relevant later but right now it feels like it’s for nothing & i don’t want to learn to love some new guy in five years i miss tyler already)

[crossbackpoke-check]

do u ever speak too soon & immediately regret it.

[youwouldntdownloadapizza]

The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter 1

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You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.

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pairing: joel miller x f!reader

rating: 18+, minors DNI

word count: 1.6k

tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia

chapter warnings: childbirth (mentioned)

Chapter 1

The first time you met Joel, he stank like shit. Literally, he smelled like he had rolled in it. You issued him soap, and sent him on his way. That was a loss to Jackson’s ledgers you were more than willing to take.

The second time, he smelled better. Unremarkable mostly, more of a neutral scent tinged with man smell around the edges. Nothing to write home about. Still, you issued him deodorant. Couldn’t take any chances.

He requested bullets, a basic first aid kit, and warm clothing. With Maria’s approval, you made the relevant deductions and issued the items at hand. You even sprung for wool socks. With a winter like this, he could use all the help he could get.

“You’re headed south, right?” you asked him as he packed a worn duffel bag.

“Colorado,” he replied. You waited, but that’s all he gave you. Guess he didn’t feel like elaborating.

“What about the girl, she need anything?”

He considered the offer, then asked, “You got any pens, pencils or anything? Notebooks? She likes to keep track of things, take notes. Draw, mostly,” he trailed off, scrubbing a hand over his face, “And we’re almost out of paper.”

You smiled at that. A girl after your own heart . “I’ll see what I can scrounge up.”

* * *

You asked Tommy about him, once the two of them were gone. He didn’t have much to say.

“Barely talked to the girl. Probably know about as much about her as you do. Joel… Well, Joel’s an enigma.”

You rolled your eyes at that. “Come on, Tommy. I’m asking for the basics, not his social security number.”

Tommy sighed. “He’s brash, he’s protective, he’s opinionated… I don’t know what much else to tell you. He’s just Joel. One of those people you gotta get to know just by knowing ‘em, I guess.”

You blinked twice. “Supremely helpful, Tommy.”

* * *

The next time you met Joel, he smelled better but looked worse. You only half-remembered his eyes, but something in them last time had been warmer. The ones you saw now were… dead, almost. Like something within them had been destroyed. Whether he’d been the one to do the destroying or it had been done to him remained to be seen.

You’d seen him and the girl with Tommy and Maria in the dining hall that first time they’d come to town, wolfing down chili like they’d just discovered, well, chili. They ate slower now, both of them, not like they weren’t in a rush but like their heads were elsewhere. The girl seemed to stare into nowhere—not all the time, but it was distinct when she did it.

Joel didn’t zone out. No, if anything he was zoned in . On that poor girl who had been so full of life just months ago, now hollowed out like far too many others. You’d see about filling her back up later. But for now, he was the one that perplexed you. Why was he so focused on her? What had happened out there? Part of you never wanted to find out, but part of you really, really did.

Regardless, she needed new shoes. So you joined them. The man stopped mid-chew, looking up at you with trepidation.

“Hi,” you smiled, “glad you two made it back in one piece.”

“Me too,” he replied, turning his attention back to his cud. You couldn’t tell if that was supposed to be a joke or not. You turned your attention to the girl.

“You’re Ellie, right? I’m Doe. Or that’s what most folks around here call me, anyway.”

“Doe?” She cocked an eyebrow. “Like a deer?”

“A female deer,” you winked back at her. She stared at you blankly. 

“It’s a song,” Joel muttered to her softly, “from before.”

“Oh,” Ellie nodded. The silence dragged, but thankfully you came prepared.

“Cobbler?” you offered bowls to each of them. It was fresh from the oven, still steaming and smelling of cinnamon.

“Yes, please!” Ellie yanked the bigger bowl towards herself, broccoli forgotten. She got a few bites in before Joel intervened, pulling the sugar aside and reinstating the vegetables. The girl frowned at that, but his pointed look said not to bother arguing. So she didn’t.

“Don’t worry, it’ll still be hot in a minute.” You tucked into your own cobbler, savoring the warm sweetness as it glided across your tongue. Even in Jackson, it was a delicacy. But it was spring, and the cherries were here. And you’d accounted for everything.

“Did you want something?” Joel asked, finishing his own plate and reaching for the cobbler.

“Ellie needs new shoes.”

“We’ve got it handled,” he said.

“Do you, though? You haven’t got much to trade with, and we’ve got plenty in inventory. That’s kind of what it’s there for. Why suffer blisters when communism’s got your back?”

“Can I?” Ellie’s face lit up. You liked seeing her eyes like that: brighter. They belonged that way.

Joel swallowed his cobbler, mulling over the idea. “After lunch,” he agreed, nodding to the eager teen. “Finish your cobbler first.”

* * *

Ellie’s new light-up sneakers lit the way as you exited the storeroom through your office. Joel had insisted on a sensible pair as well, but you couldn’t deny the kid a little whimsy.

“Maria give you your patrol schedule yet?” you asked him, nodding to the well-worn chalkboard in the corner. Routes on the left, days and times up top. Names filled in the boxes in between, a testament to your logistical wizardry.

“Not yet,” he said, crossing to examine it. “Guess she doesn’t need to, now.”

“I’ve got you paired up with Tommy. Seemed easiest, to get you started. You’ll be headed up to the lodge, it’s a pretty standard route. Get the occasional runner, but it’s wildlife more than anything.”

He nodded, heading toward where Ellie was already scampering out the door.

“See you Tuesday, I suppose. Guessing you’re the one to check-in with?” he asked.

You smiled at his correct assumption. 

“Sure am.”

* * *

You didn’t know Joel well enough to make assumptions about his punctuality, but Tommy was never late. Even you were late from time to time, often getting swept up in tasks and losing track of things. But the man was annoyingly punctual. According to Maria, that’s part of why she fell for him.

Tommy was late today.

You crossed to the large observation window lining one wall of your office. It gave you a clear view of the front gates and surrounding guard stations, but there was no sign of Tommy anywhere. Or Joel, for that matter.

A knock on your door interrupted your analysis. It was Eugene. The grizzled old man acted anything but, a smile breaking out across his face at the sight of you.

“Hey, Doe! How’s things?” He asked.

“Fine. I’m looking for Tommy, actually–”

“Didn’t you hear?” He interrupted, “Maria’s gone into labor. He’s with her at the clinic.”

Your stomach dropped. Here you were preparing to chew Tommy out for his tardiness when the whole time he’d been busy becoming a father. A very valid excuse.

“And Joel?” you asked. “They were supposed to patrol together this afternoon, lodge route.”

“Not sure. He wasn’t with them. Listen, I gotta go grab the baby blanket I made and drop it off, but you and I need to have a drink one of these days. I worry your hair’s gonna start falling out in clumps if you don’t take a break eventually.”

“Yeah, but then what would you do, patrol out to the dam with Jesse? There’s a reason I don’t pair you two up anymore.”

“Because you don’t like blackberries?” he chided.

You frowned, “No, because you spent so long harvesting them your 8 hour patrol took 12. I was this close to sending out a search party. A little planning prevents a lot of headaches, Eugene.”

He turned to leave, looking back over his shoulder to get the last word. “You know what else is good for headaches? Whiskey.”

You sent Eugene on his way with instructions to give Maria your best. You’d visit her when the baby was here. For now, you had a community to protect. 

With Tommy out of commission and Joel MIA, you’d have to find someone else to help you cover this patrol route. Dina was always a solid partner, if she was around. Devon the bartender could generally be counted on to have your back. Eugene would be ideal, but you didn’t want to make him work a double.

You headed to the stables to see who you could find. Upon entering, the warmth of the building and company of the animals soothed your unease, if only slightly. 

You found your horse’s stall, the gray spotted mare whinnying at your arrival.

“Hey, Bailey,” you smiled, offering her a slightly bruised apple. She took it gratefully, big brown eyes closing in enjoyment.

“She’s beautiful,” a voice said from behind you, making you jump.

“Sorry,” the voice stepped into the light, “It’s just me.”

“Joel,” you took a deep breath in an attempt to slow your racing heartbeat.

“Sorry I’m late–” 

You cut him off with a raised hand, looking him in the eye. 

“You’re not with your brother,” you finally said, more of a statement than a question.

“You’re not with your best friend,” he replied, offering no further details.

You sighed, debating arguing with him about it before deciding the subject was better left untouched. You had your reasons for staying away from childbirth. If Joel had his own, he was entitled to that. You weren’t going to press him on it, so long as he didn’t press you.

“Come on,” you said, swinging your leg over Bailey’s back and settling into the saddle, “We’re making up for lost time.”

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[lurkingshan]

A Time Called You: A Great Reminder to Go Watch Someday or One Day 

This past weekend Netflix dropped a new kdrama called A Time Called You in its entirety, and I became particularly interested in watching it as soon as I realized what it was: the Korean remake of Someday or One Day I knew had been in the works for awhile. If you’re not familiar, Someday or One Day (SOOD) is a beloved 2019 Taiwanese drama that is widely considered to be among the best dramas the country has ever produced (there is also a 2022 film version of the story, but that’s less relevant to this post). Now, I love Korean dramas, and I know that countries remaking each other’s best shit is very common in the Asian media landscape, but I couldn’t help but feel protective of the original work and a bit resentful of the choice to adapt something that was so original and unique and specific and put that generic kdrama sheen on it. Taiwan has a small film industry, and this is one of its jewels. We didn’t need Korea’s take on it.

And having watched the adaptation in full now, I am feeling pretty justified in that initial feeling. Let me just say upfront: A Time Called You (ATCY) is a perfectly good drama with a solid cast and competent storytelling. Had I seen it absent the knowledge of what it was adapting, I probably would have liked it a lot. But I have already seen and loved Someday or One Day, so I feel compelled to break down why it is the better version of this tale, both for my fellow SOOD devotees who are wondering how this adaptation stacks up and for folks who have only seen the kdrama in the hopes that you’ll decide to watch the original. As usual, I did the most, so reader be advised that this is long (tagging @troubled-mind as promised and @smittenskitten because I saw you were looking for a comparison of the two dramas). TL; DR: if you liked ATCY, or have seen neither version and are wondering which to watch: go find Someday or One Day, because it’s an overall superior and more satisfying execution of the same story.

The Vibe

Let’s start here because it’s the most obvious and immediately striking thing as someone who has seen both versions. SOOD has a bit of a rough and unpolished feel, which makes it feel more grounded in reality (important when you are getting into fantasy elements like time travel but you still want the characters to feel like real people). We open our story in 1998 in a record shop with a young girl playing Last Dance by Wu Bai and China Blue, a 1996 mando pop rock ballad, and thus setting the tone—this will be a somewhat raw and bittersweet story about grief and hurt and longing that will invite us to wallow in our feelings. And that melancholic vibe stays throughout the drama, even in the explicitly happy scenes, because you are always aware that the joy you are seeing has already been lost. 

By contrast, ATCY feels… emotionally flat. Don’t get me wrong, it is a very faithful adaptation. The early episodes are practically a shot for shot remake of the original drama. But it’s too polished, too shiny. The filmmaking is bog standard kdrama fare; everything is soft focus and warmly lit and too beautiful and consequently nothing feels real. It feels right in line with the standard aesthetics of recent mainstream Korean dramas, and that choice undermines the emotional weight and grit of this story.

A great example of this can be seen in the way the two dramas handle the iconic scene where our female lead runs in the rain, looking back over her shoulder to smile in delight at the male lead before continuing on her way. This is a moment of realization for him about his feelings for her—one he will later immortalize in a painting that becomes part of the mystery of the past she is trying to unravel. In Someday or One Day, this scene takes place on a regular street, in the utterly mundane surroundings of their everyday lives as they walk home, and she runs down the middle of the road as puddles gather in the uneven pavement; in A Time Called Love, they are in a picturesque park for this scene, surrounded by green and encased within a grove of giant trees, and she runs right down the middle of a tree lane that looks like it came straight out of a fairytale. One story is very much about a love grounded in a reality we can recognize; the other is pure fantasy romance.

The Music 

I already mentioned the song that anchors the Taiwanese drama above. Last Dance is hugely important to the story, both thematically and as a plot device, and in its ability to set the mood and tone of the drama. 

The Korean remake similarly uses a real 1996 ballad as its main song and time travel mechanism: With My Tears by Seo Ji Won. And, uh, the vibe is a bit different. 

Discerning listeners might recognize this as one of the many classic love ballads performed by our favorite doctors by day, rock stars by night over on Hospital Playlist. It’s a perfectly fine song. But it sets quite a different tone for our story, doesn’t it? It also is meant to be a song that a teenage boy is hankering to listen to on cassette, and listen, I wasn’t living in Korea in 1996. I have no idea how culturally accurate that may be. I’m sure there were in fact baby Lee Ik Juns running around trying to get their hands on this cheesy love song. But the edgier sound of Last Dance definitely sounds more in line with something the teenage male lead would listen to and what the music is meant to convey. And frankly, since we hear this song about 30 times in the drama, it matters that Last Dance is just an objectively better song. 

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, because beyond the classic song each version chose to use as its centerpiece, there is also a stark difference in the quality and tone of each drama’s OSTs. Here is a compilation of the Someday or One Day tracks, including the utterly gorgeous main theme by Shi Shi. The music is hugely important in the Taiwanese drama and is used to set the mood as well as emphasize its themes, and the tracks feel specific to this story.

And here is a compilation of A Time Called You OSTs.

If you’re familiar with kdrama OSTs, you will recognize most of the artists on here, as well as some new covers of old songs. And again, the vibes are quite different. Whereas SOOD was very intentional and specific in its music choices, ATCY just sounds like every other kdrama. There is nothing on this tracklist that stands out or evokes the kind of feeling that the SOOD tracks do.

The Main Couple

The name and timeline situation in this show makes this section unnecessarily difficult, so let me just make a little reference sheet here: 

Someday or One Day

Alice Ke plays Yu Xuan (2019) and Yun Ru (1998)

Greg Hsu plays Quan Sheng (2019) and Zi Wei (1998)

A Time Called You

Jeon Yeo Been plays Jun Hee (2023) and Min Yu (1998)

Ahn Hyo Seop plays Yeun Jun (2023) and Si Heon (1998)

All of the actors here are seasoned and very good at their jobs, so I am not casting shade on any of them—they are executing their performances based on writing and directorial choices. But I cannot deny that the Taiwanese version of these characters are more compelling all around. In SOOD, the main characters have a real spark; despite the melancholic undertone of the story, there are moments of genuine joy and when they connect with each other, you feel why this bond is strong enough for them to find each other through time and despite all the trauma they endure. In ATCY, however, the characterizations are muted.

This is most evident in the difference between Quan Sheng/Zi Wei and Yeon Jun/Si Heon. Greg Hsu plays Zi Wei as magnetic, playful, mischievous, utterly lovable, and very intense about his feelings for his lady. He has a real joie de vivre about him that clearly brightens up Yu Xuan’s life considerably, and his devotion to her is not just shown, but deeply felt. Experiencing their memories, you understand immediately why Yu Xuan can’t move on from his death; he was the joyful, relaxed counterpoint to her more ambitious and serious personality. Si Heon, though? He is a nice dude and a generous partner and he is very good looking. But he doesn’t have the playfulness or the intensity that his Taiwanese counterpart does. His personality is just more moderate all around. One great example of this: upon discovering that he has traveled forward into the body of the person that would become Yu Xuan/Jun Hee’s boyfriend, Zi Wei (in Quan Sheng’s body now, are you still with me?) actively decides to find her, love her, and try to solve this time loop quagmire they are in; Si Heon (in Yeon Jun’s body) waits for a moment of fate to give him a sign, and only makes the decision to pursue Jun Hee after running into her by coincidence.

Similarly, Jun Hee is not quite as spunky and sassy as Yu Xuan and Min Yu is not as dark and awkward as Yun Ru; when Jun Hee travels to the past and takes up residence in Min Yu’s body, the differences between the two characters she is playing are not as evident. In SOOD, I could tell at a glance who is in Yun Ru’s body; in ATCY I need more context to be sure. Where Yun Ru had more of an edge, Min Yu simply reads very shy. It’s not as compelling. One scene that really stands out as an example of this: when Yun Ru is pretending to be Yu Xuan in 1998 and looks in the mirror to practice smiling, it looks downright creepy and sinister; when Min Yu is masquerading as Jun Hee and looks at herself in the mirror, she just looks awed and happy, if a bit awkward. It’s subtle, but it changes the way you feel about the characters. 

The difference in Jun Hee and Yeon Jun’s characterization also affects the couple chemistry, which is just not nearly as strong in ATCY. The characters are more muted and thus the expected sparks are more like smoldering embers. The relationship feels cozy and warm and nurturing, but it doesn’t feel vital. It doesn’t feel like the kind of relationship you would fight through time or break the rules of the universe to return to. I recall gasping or crying or laughing out loud throughout SOOD because I was constantly taken aback by Greg Hsu’s arresting presence and the chemistry he and Alice Ke generated was just emotionally riveting. When Yu Xuan told Zi Wei (as Quan Sheng) that they were officially together, that man literally jumped for joy and shouted out his love for her; Si Heon (as Yeon Jun) reacts to the same moment with a quiet smile and a hug. When Zi Wei saw Yu Xuan in Yun Ru’s body again in the finale, he knew instantly that it was her and the smile overtook his face as he reached for her; Si Heon initially called Min Ju’s name before getting closer and taking several beats to realize it was Jun Hee (ruining this iconic moment is perhaps this remake’s greatest sin against romance, my god). 

Everything between the couple in SOOD was just more, both in happiness and in despair. I liked Jun Hee and Si Heon, and Ahn Hyo Seop and Jeon Yeo Been are very competent actors whose performances I have loved in other dramas, but they didn’t achieve that level of chemistry here, the writing and directing choices worked against them, and I didn’t feel that same desperation for them to figure this out that I did with Yu Xuan and Zi Wei. 

The Story 

The Korean version is a very faithful adaptation overall (I haven’t mentioned Jun Jie and In Gyuk because his character and story is more consistent across the two shows), but does make some small tweaks to the story, some of which seem to be out of necessity due to a shorter run time (one episode and a couple hours total less than the Taiwanese original) and some just… because? The shorter amount of story time does lead to them having to cut corners on some aspects of the mythology and time travel lore, making it all a bit less clear for folks who don’t already understand what’s going on, and they put in a few nods to typical kdrama tropes like amusement park dates and hand of fate stuff that we really didn’t need—they are already trapped in a time loop together, we get it!

ATCY also messed with the timelines and ages for reasons I don’t really understand and that don’t really track. In SOOD, Zi Wei traveled forward from 2002 to Quan Sheng’s body in 2010, met Yu Xuan, and then died in 2018. In ATCY, Si Heon traveled forward from 2002 only to 2007 and did not die until 2022—but the relationship dynamics are all the same. It made sense for a young couple who had been together about 7 years and who were in their mid-20s to be having the kind of relationship problems they did—fighting about prioritizing careers and time abroad and whether it was time to get married. But a couple who has been together nearly 15 years? Who are in their mid-30s? They would have already been married probably and had a couple kids to boot. The choice to change the timeline like this had me scratching my head and accomplished nothing for the story. 

But neither of those things are the change to the story that is weighing on me most. That occurs in a very small and brief backstory for the real Yeon Jun, where the drama introduces an original character who has no counterpart in SOOD: Tae Ha. 

In SOOD, the real Quan Sheng is a closeted gay teenager who meets a tragic end: he confesses to his crush, gets brutally rejected, then gets bullied when the crush tells others about his sexuality, and ultimately decides to walk into the sea in an attempt to end his life, a choice that leaves his body in a coma until Zi Wei’s consciousness takes it over. In ATCY, this backstory changes and Rowoon is brought in for a brief but impactful cameo as Tae Ha, Yeon Jun’s cram school friend. We see that the two have mutual feelings for each other but are both struggling to confess. One day as they are driving together, they finally explicitly acknowledge their feelings, holding hands and smiling at one another—and then immediately get hit by a Truck of Doom (easily one of the most tired kdrama tropes), Tae Ha dying on impact and Yeon Jun ending up in a coma with Si Heon’s consciousness eventually taking over his body like in the original story. 

Now on first glance, you might be inclined to give the show some credit for including a new gay character and giving the original Yeon Jun a happier experience with his crush. Explicit gay representation? In a mainstream kdrama? Still very rare and a big deal if done right. But if you think for a moment longer you’ll realize we can’t give the show credit for this, because this is a textbook execution of the Bury Your Gays trope and the narrative punishment that befalls gay characters who act on their attraction. Essentially, what the Korean remake did here was reveal these two characters are gay, killed them both immediately after they decided to pursue a relationship with each other, and then had the het male lead character take over the body of this gay man and use it to enter into a relationship with a woman. Some aspects of this plot were present in the original tale, but this choice to add an additional gay character only to kill him and tie it to their moment of acknowledging their mutual attraction? Made it significantly worse. It was badly done and I will not applaud the drama for representation when they did it in such a cruel way. 

The Ending

SOOD ends on a hopeful but somewhat ambiguous note, with Yu Xuan in 2020 finding a way to go back and save Yun Ru (and Jun Jie by extension) and then breaking the time loop, sacrificing her relationship with Zi Wei in the process even as it breaks her heart (because the only way for them to meet and fall in love in 2010 was to stay in the loop). She sacrifices their romance, and all their memories together, because it’s the right thing to do—she inadvertently destroyed Yun Ru’s life with her time traveling, and she couldn’t live with that knowing there was a way to fix it. We are left with a broken time loop, original teen Zi Wei meeting child Yu Xuan again in 1998, and the hope that they will find a way to make their fates align again and be together without time travel complications. It’s just the right bittersweet touch to end the story on; their previous relationship was lost and their sacrifice was real, but there is hope for another version of a happy life together, someday.

By contrast, ATCY goes for a more explicit happy ending: Jun Hee makes the same choice to go back and save Min Ju, and to break the time loop and sacrifice her relationship with Si Heon, but in ATCY we then jump forward to 2011 to a happy epilogue to see Si Heon and Jun Hee meet as adults. And look, I love a happy ending! But what I said above about the sacrifice Yu Xuan and Zi Wei made in SOOD really resonating because of its bittersweet ending? That’s absent here, because ATCY decided they needed to put a bow on it and reassure us they would get back together. ATCY was just never willing to let us stay in the grief or commit to the darker and sadder aspects of this story, and as a result, the whole thing loses some of its impact.

[petrichormore]

So about 4halo “dying…”

I’m watching the clip where Forever shows Baghera the book and supposedly “friendzones” Bad because I didn’t actually see the full thing and… why did people think the ship is dead? (I know Forever apparently revived it hours later but bear with me).

Because from where I’m standing, it’s perfectly fine? It’s been more dead in the past. So let’s break the scene down:

(Scene Analysis under cut - I felt like I was watching something straight out of a romcom movie. Also the following is about the CHARACTERS)

So. Forever shows Baghera the book and Baghera asks if he feels the same way. Forever says, “There’s a problem, Baghera - I love him back. (Pause) I love him back, but as a friend.”

Baghera goes “really?” because she’s skeptical and Forever claims that his “heart can’t take it anymore.” (Obviously in reference to Philza breaking it.) He then goes on to say that “After what happened to Philza, I think [thought] I had enough of it.”

I’d like to pause here to point out that at no point in this conversation does Forever sound confident in what he’s saying - he’s uncharacteristically shaken and unsure throughout. He uses phrases like “I thought” and “I’m trying” instead of “I know” and “I am” which imply uncertainty. He phrases his statements like questions, as though he doesn’t know what’s going on in his own mind.

Anyway, Forever says he likes Bad “as a friend” but his reasoning is literally just “I’m not ready for this right now” which… makes no sense to say if the first statement is true. If you aren’t interested in someone, you probably don’t justify by claiming you aren’t ready - because it’s just a fact relating to the other person. Saying “Oh there’s a big problem - I like this person as a friend because my heart can’t take the pain of heartbreak anymore!” Like. That doesn’t really make sense, does it?

He also tries to bring up a conversation dramatrio had a while back about how friendship is better (based, btw) - but to me it honestly just sounds as though he’s trying to convince himself rather than making a statement. Again, he sounds very confused. In response, Baghera points out that “not everyone is happy” with just friendship.

Forever also seems to be just generally confused with Bad’s behavior, as he sees it as uncharacteristic (which it is) and therefore disingenuous. This actually seems to be the main source of distress for him: whether or not Bad actually loves him. He talks to Baghera about how he doesn’t even know if it’s real because it’s so unlike Bad - Baghera agrees that it’s strange coming from Bad, but she believes Richarlyson when he says the book is genuine. Forever doesn’t, and later on in the stream he apparently reveals that he doesn’t understand how Bad could love him in a romantic sense and doesn’t want to be drawn in to something that might not be real? (Maybe???) As Forever is still streaming, I can’t go over it but I will when I can. Either way, this doesn’t seem like the type of worry a person who doesn’t reciprocate any romantic feelings would have? Like cool story bro but this really shouldn’t be relevant if your only feelings are platonic?

And Baghera? Baghera literally notices this! She sees Forever’s indecisiveness and says “Okay, but if you don’t like him like that, well, it’s not a question, you know?” She calls him out on it directly.

And Forever doesn’t acknowledge it at all. He just moves on and says that if Bad had approached him when he first joined, he would’ve been delighted to add another boyfriend in alongside Philza [Specifically, he brings up a song about Snow White and the phrase ‘Why have just one when I could have seven?] This, while funny as hell, has nothing to do with the conversation and it honestly comes across as Forever trying to examine his own feelings and failing miserably.

Baghera asks “So you’re sure you don’t want anything to happen with Bebou?”

Forever responds “yeah” and then immediately follows it up with “The problem is that after what happened, I’m really…” So ‘yeah’ is not an actual answer here, just a transitional word. (And again, notice the strange justification. The problem apparently not a lack of romantic attraction?)

Baghera follows that up by asking if Forever doesn’t want a relationship with Bad because he has been hurt by his previous ‘relationship’, or because he has no romantic interest in Bad specifically. Forever… doesn’t answer. He says, “Yeah, that’s a good question because I don’t even know if he likes me like that, or if he just loves me as a friend.” Once again, ‘yeah’ is not an answer, just a transition. Congratulations, Forever, you specified exactly nothing.

And thennnnn Forever is back to being worried over whether or not Bad likes him or like-likes him (it’s like they’re all gossiping 10 year olds hehe). He’s scared to ask him directly because he doesn’t want to “hurt him” (by ‘him’, I mean BBH) but it really just sounds like he’s a goddamn coward (affectionate) and is using that as an excuse. Especially since he phrases it like a question.

Baghera decides to take pity on him and offers to sneakily question Bad about it and then report back, which Forever immediately agrees to (it’s the most enthusiastic he sounds during the entire conversation). Forever than says that he really wants to “know what is happening” and to “take care of Badboy because he’s really important to me” (?? We all know, Forever, but okay cool I guess?? /j)

He finishes by reasserting (to himself, mostly) that he doesn’t want a relationship specifically because he’s trying to focus on his career, family, and friends (and because Philza broke his heart). He never says that he has no romantic interest in Bad besides the very first “as a friend” comment, and, in fact, somehow avoids saying it even when Baghera asks him directly to his face!

He honestly gives every reason for not wanting to be in a relationship except for “I’m not interested in the other person.” Like that’s the one thing he doesn’t say.

So. Take that however you will.

[i9messi]

joao felix where he’s secretly dating the sister of a chelsea player and they only get caught because joao and the reader both had hickeys on their necks

Stolen kisses — Joao Felix

Word count — 1k

joão's masterlist

"Wait- what if someone sees?"

"They won't."

Joao kissed you on the lips and continued with his grip on your waist, while you forgot for a moment what worried you. Your brother and the rest of his teammates were just a few feet away in the other room. They were playing at the Playstation and you could hear their voices and screams. You were worried at the thought of someone seeing you in that intimate moment, especially your brother. The thought was quickly erased with João’s kisses.

João had seen you arrive at your brother’s house and he wasted no time looking for an excuse to go to the kitchen, where you were having a glass of water. Now you were with your mouth on your boyfriend’s lips, wishing you had more time to show love.

When you heard footsteps you both separated and acted as if you were doing nothing. Mason Mount came in and looked at the two of you suspiciously.

"I just want water." He expressed and poured himself a glass quickly, almost running out of the kitchen. Maybe he must have noticed the tension in the air or he was psychic.

Once he left and you were alone again, you knew that sooner or later someone else would show up, or at least your brother would ask why you were taking so long. João looked at you from his place, still far from you.

"How long are we going to do this?" the footballer was serious and didn’t seem very cheerful.

"I don't know, João. My brother is overprotective and won’t like us dating."

"I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, I need to kiss you in public and let everyone know that you’re mine. I love you so much and I don’t give a damn what he could say, believe me."

"You know you’re the only one I want to be with."

"Then we should talk with him. He will understand eventually."

"What if he doesn't?"

João nodded, hearing his teammates calling and it was time to go back with them. He wanted everyone to know the truth and stop pretending you were nothing. If every time you looked at each other you felt love, it was impossible for him not to smile like a fool every time he saw you. Even during the matches, he wanted you to wear his jersey and to be proud to admit he was your boyfriend.

João understood your times but he was also a little tired of the fear of what your brother would say. He wasn’t a coward and he loved you so much that he accepted anything.

"Just one kiss, please." He asked and you listened to him, kissing so hard for the last time.

The portuguese came back with his teammates and you came back with them, sitting on the floor and watching the screen. You had a good relationship with them and the guys always made you feel comfortable spending your time with them. There were some looks you shared with João but the cheerful atmosphere changed when your brother asked you a question.

"Why don’t you take off your scarf? It’s hot in here."

"I’m fine."

Your brother raised his eyebrow and thinking it was funny, grabbed the tip of the scarf and pulled it out. You had several hickeys that João had left and they were a little obvious. You moved your hand to cover them but everyone had seen them. You heard some giggles, but neither your brother nor Joao laughed.

"Explain right now. Who left you that?"

"Nobody."

But everything was said and done. You started with a brother-sister argument, where he was trying to get information from the guy you were dating. You told him it wasn’t important, that he didn’t even know him. Your brother turned to look at his teammates and realized something he had forgotten. João had come up with hickeys too, something that everyone had made fun of but he had not given it relevance.

Until now.

"João?" your brother asked, totally confused.

"It was me." João confirmed his suspicions, as if seeing the hickeys on both were not evident.

You looked at him with your eyes wide open. "João…"

His other teammates looked at you and João, not believing it. Mason Mount was probably the only one who didn’t seem so surprised.

"You and my sister? How could you?"

"I’m in love with her— I’m too tired to pretend I don’t feel anything. We’re dating and we love each other. You want to blame someone, blame me."

"Let’s talk outside." Your brother pointed the finger, you stood between the two, trying to defend your boyfriend.

"But- stop, you don’t..."

"I will talk with him." João looked at your brother and then smiled at you. "Don’t worry, babe, everything’s fine."

Nothing was fine. The two boys went outside to talk, while the rest of the guys tried to make you feel better and try to distract you. You were so grateful for their support, but you were nervous about what could happen between your boyfriend and your brother.

João came back half an hour later, with your brother looking at you seriously. Neither of you said anything for a long time, until your brother laughed.

"Well, to be honest, I always knew it. João always talked about you and asked me questions. I thought he had a crush on you but I didn’t imagine you were, in fact, dating. You’re also not good at pretending, you were like a little girl having a crush on another kid. I got mad because you’re my sister and I don’t like the idea of you having a boyfriend, but João is a good guy. Maybe he's the goodest guy on our team. You shouldn’t have lied to me, by the way."

"I'm sorry. You’re not mad?"

"I’m not, but still don’t think I’m going to let you kiss in my presence. I tolerate you being together but I don’t like it."

You smiled and hugged your brother, feeling that all the pressure and anguish had vanished. João smiled at you too, it was so hard to pretend you didn’t feel things for each other, it was incredible how you had taken so long without telling the truth to everyone else.

Once you were alone, João kissed you on the lips and he whispered in your ear how much he loved you. Both were happy after your brother and his teammates found the truth, there was no need to hide your love anymore.

"So, now that your brother knows, how about we go public? I want everyone to know you’re my girlfriend."

God, you were too much in love with that man.

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage! 

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico​! 

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references. 

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death. 

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.) 

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth. 

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image: 

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image: 

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

[uptoolateart]

Education Systems

I'm updating this because a French fan has now added to the conversation, for accuracy.

I think a lot of people have misunderstood the French education system, after watching Confrontation. I did a bunch of research into this for one of my fics - I have lived in the UK since I was 16 and have children in the British education system - and I originally grew up in the US. With all that in mind...

When you finish the first major stage of education:

France - Age 15

UK - Age 16

US - Age 18

Picking your focus / specialism(s):

France - Age 15, you can pick a stream, focusing on subjects relevant to what you want to do in life.

UK - Age 16, you can pick a stream, focusing on subjects relevant to what you want to do in life - there are also vocational courses, if you’re not remotely academic, and I bet there is something like this in France.

US - You are required to take all general mandatory subjects, even if you suck at them, until age 18, at which point you can finally specialise.

Speaking personally, when I lived in the US I was only given one elective in high school, and for my junior year (age 16) I realised I would have no time to fit that elective into my schedule because of all the science and maths requirements...subjects I was all but failing, because I knew I was artistic / literary-minded from a very young age. I was forced to suffer falling self-esteem, feeling like I was stupid and not good enough, simply because I didn’t have the ‘right’ brain type to fit with what the school wanted. There were other schools in the area that had slightly different requirements, but they all did some form of the same thing.

If you don’t know what you want to focus on yet:

France - There are generalist academic options where you do the usual variety of subjects, with the proviso that you get to choose if it’s more heavily weighted towards maths / science or towards liberal arts (see my personal anecdote above).

UK - Does something similar to France.

US - I was seriously considering dropping out of high school as soon as legally able (age 16) because I couldn’t cope with the pressures of the school system and my shattered confidence, despite previously being a straight-A student. However, if you drop out, you bear that stigma for life, no matter how much else you do - even though there are countries like France and the UK that legally release you from that education system at the same age or even younger. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of extremely intelligent American friends.

At university:

UK - You ONLY do classes directly related to your degree.

France - I'm told it's the same but that you don't get to choose unrelated electives for fun (you can do that in the UK - not lots, but a few over the years).

US - You are forced to take a lot of mandated subjects that have nothing to do with your course, e.g. local government or trigonometry even though you’re doing a writing degree, and you pay an absolute fortune for these / the required textbooks. (The most I ever spent on a book for my UK English degree course was £15, whereas textbooks in the US cost in the hundreds.)

What if you change your mind?

UK - Most jobs don’t care what degree you did, just that you did a degree. If you decide to do something that does need special qualifications, you can always go back and undertake them, at any age...with the proviso that you need to find the time and money.

France - I have been told it can be difficult, although in ways similar to the UK (and probably the US), where it depends on the job. Some jobs will always require retraining. It's always easier to do that training when you're younger and have fewer obligations

US - I can’t specifically comment, as I emigrated, but see above. Also, I have American friends who have gone through a LOT of hoops to try to change career paths in later life. This is probably an area where all countries could improve.

In conclusion:

The French (and UK) system is not necessarily forcing teenagers to lock into a fixed career path with no looking back, at the age of 15. Nothing is perfect, but in many ways, I think the French system actually offers options for greater flexibility by allowing greater choice at a younger age, instead of being forced to take all these other classes they may never use again in life, possibly at the detriment of their mental health.

Don’t get me wrong - there are a lot of things I prefer about the US vs the UK system in the lead up to high school (I can’t comment on the French system during those years, as I have no experience). But I’m a big believer that we need to allow kids greater choice at a younger age, with the option to stay in generalist education if that’s really what they want.

[runningonadhd]

The Sides and Their Vocal Ranges

Ok I don’t know what this is going to be, but I wanted to make this because it’s something that really interests me. And since there are going to be SIX SONGS in the finale, it’s sorta relevant.

Please note I am not a professional, I work with a professional on vocals but I am in no way qualified to judge anyone’s singing. I’m just being silly and talking about where the sides ranges sit. Idk if I had to make that note but whateves. Pls call me out if I said something stupid

Thomas himself is very talented in both voice acting and singing. In several songs he has gone from a tenor range to a borderline bass. Not even borderline, now that I think about it. In the crofters song that tenors could only hit in their dreams. I can’t completely speak on the matter but I feel he usually sounds most comfortable in a low tenor/high baritone range.

Whoooo, Roman. I really, really wanna pin him as an fboy tenor, but that wouldn’t be truthful to his range or his character. As I’m writing this, I’m listening to Incomplete, which honestly isn’t the best example because it’s a lot of sing-talking, which there’s nothing wrong with that, it just doesn’t really help with figuring out where each of the sides sit, which is unfortunate because it’s currently the only song they’re all in (minus J+R, but we’ll get to them later). The best example of Roman is the Crofters song, where he hit some high notes, specifically at the the beginning and end, but based on all of him that we’ve heard and remembering to check in his accent, as it to an extent effects how high or low he could go, I’m pretty confident in saying he sits comfortably at a high baritone range, not unlike Thomas, but the accent definitely separates Roman from his normal singing voice. Idk if I’m explaining this right.

We all know the stigma around baritones only being villains or dads, but thankfully Patton doesn’t follow this trend. I actually think with the way he talks and the slight…. Accent? I think? He has?? Like when he goes “oh well pushing people down stairs doesn’t sound very nice Janus!” Like did it do the thing in your head too??? Anyway he has a very high speaking voice, which obviously means he sings higher then the others. He, at the moment, is the only side to sit at a completely tenor range, if a lower tenor range.

With Logan, I am completely blinded by headcanons, but I will try to keep this truthful. Logan hits some moderately high notes to really high notes for Thomas’ range, specifically the “Even I-I-I-I-I” but he talks in a much lower range. My hypothesis is that Logan COULD possibly be a high bass as much as he could be a low tenor. He talks very flatly normally, which seems to weigh his voice down a bit itself, and you can hear that better in Incomplete with the talk-singing (hey, I lied! It WAS helpful!) anyway Logan as a bass 2024 I need it

Not unlike Logan, Virgil speaks in a lower range, even lower then Logan, I think. His best singing examples are Lies and Incomplete (see? I keep proving myself wrong!) I’m too lazy to look up the Lies video and then click on the video and then watch the video until they start singing, so let’s focus on Incomplete. When I say it’s one of his best singing examples, I’m referring to “you’re lost, it’s okay, I was lost once to but thanks to all of you life sucks less now” Virgil actually seems to sing higher then he talks, if not by very much because you can still feel the gravity in his voice, and it’s very apparent here, where he’s singing very light and airy, but it also sounds a bit like he’s hitting his limit, so Virgil is sorta able to go high, but we’re focusing on where he can sing comfortably. I sentence him to Thomas’ Low tenor/high baritone, but his emo accent(???) and slightly lower range set him apart from Thomas’ normal singing

You know how I said I wanted Roman to be a fboy tenor? I was wrong, because Remus is the real fboy tenor (/baritone). Like Pat, he has a very high speaking voice, to the the point where his voice is constantly breaking, which isn’t exactly a bad thing, especially for his character. Remus is one of only two sides to have his own full song at the moment I’m writing this, so obviously his best example is Forbidden Fruit. Like his speech, Remus’ singing is high, uneven, and chaotic. This doesn’t mean it sounds bad, I listen to midwestern emo for the same reason, but he there are some belting parts where Thomas loses the accent, which is again not a bad thing. Belting is hard, especially when doing accents (I have personal experience, personal experience being Santa Fe. Damn you Santa Fe.) overall, you’d think this would have something to do with the outcome, but I only wrote all of that to make it sound like I know what I’m doing. He’s a tenor/high baritone, that’s the point I’m trying to make

Janus is quite a special case, him being the second to have his own song (despite that it was a cover, but it still counts). His performance sounds most like Thomas’ normal singing voice, but that might just be because it’s not an original song. He goes pretty high at some points, and I have a little more insight because I worked on Into The Unknown with my vocal coach because of Janus. It’s not a particularly hard song to sing, but it’s nothing that doesn’t require some work, and Thomas did an amazing job. Again, what does this have to do with his range. Nothing, I just like talking about myself. Because Janus’ voice was so similar to Thomas’ the one time we heard him sing, I’m gonna place him in low tenor/high baritone.

Idk if I should post this because to me it looks like a heaping pile of garbage, but I’ll probably post it anyway just to make the world a little worse.

Thx if u read that all Ik most of it prolly doesn’t make sense

Oh, and orange is a soprano, obvi

[atopvisenyashill]

That whole era of the Second Quarrel onwards is so obscure when it comes to the succession and the tensions surrounding it. No reactions. No massive events or much about dynamics. I want to know about Viserys's coronation. I want to know what he felt about his own succession before the GC. And before that, I want to know if Baelon ever tried to mend fences. If Jaehaerys ever mentioned it again, and how. How Rhaenys made her life, now all but an exile, on Driftmark. What motivated Aemma and Viserys's marriage. WHEN DID JOCELYN DIE?!

LITERALLY OMG. Number one frustrating thing about F&B is we get pages and pages of stuff no one in the world gives a shit about - Maiden's Day, that stupid story about Jaehaerys fucking the writer - and nothing on the subjects that actually got most people into the damn series like the POLITICS or the MAGIC. all of THAT is completly glossed over or Gyldane (and Yandel for that matter) just go "Well Barth did say this thing but that's nonsense" and then no elaboration. drives me up a WALL because yeah sure maybe the long, pages upon pages of battles and fighting are not my cup of tea but a) they're perfectly well written and b) THEY MAKE UP FOR IT BY GIVING ME SEVERAL CHAPTERS IN A ROW OF CERSEI AND SANSA JUST CHILLING AND POLITICKING IN DETAIL. He makes up for that in F&B by giving me MORE Jaehaerys as if that's what I want!!!

There's a few eras in F&B I think are likely to come up in the main series or in dunk and egg which is why I think F&B is so frustratingly vague (and if they were kept vague for no reason….george what. george WHY). And I do get he wanted to give us more of what he was writing without spoiling later books but good lord i would actually rather wait longer for material that isn't 60% george going "well i can't tell them ALL of that, let's just wink at the audience." The Second Quarrel is one of those times that might be relevant later imo largely because there's just. NOTHING. NO INFO. NO EVENTS. Like you said, there are NO major events in this time period. the ONLY thing happening is politics and court intrigue but F&B isn’t interested in court intrigue unless it involves grooming a 12 year old girl and unfortunately there is only poor Aemma being groomed at this time so F&B says “too many old people they’re not sexy” and just gives us sparse details about marriage dates, birth dates, and death dates. We don’t even see how rhaenys and viserys feel about THEE QUEEN ALYSANNE dying!!!!!!!! She just. Passes. oh so sad. george i’m in your walls!

Unlike every other Targaryen child (Aemma, Viserys, Daemon, herself, even Aerea and Rhaelle to an extent) who is allowed to grow up at court surrounded by other Valyrians and members of the royal family, Rhaenys kids are denied this. With this move, as you say, Jaehaerys all but tells Rhaenys "get you and your fuckin kids the hell out of my city." Can you imagine being Rhaenys, newly pregnant, having been told for years by your father and grandmother that you will be Queen one day just to be suddenly and unceremoniously exiled from court and kicked completely out of the line of succession? Can't even begin to get into how deranged it is to do this to your pregnant granddaughter when she's mourning the loss of her father

WHEN DOES JOCELYN BARATHEON DIE. HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT HER DAUGHTER AND GRANDKIDS BEING PASSED OVER?????? She is only a year or two older than Aemon, she could easily have still been alive and making a fuss during Viserys' reign especially after he names Rhaenyra his heir SO HOW DID SHE FEEL ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

Baelon and Viserys' coronations/weddings/big We Are The Royal Line Now Shenangians during this era are crazyyy right, because THE QUEEN OF WESTEROS is refusing to talk to the iron throne, can’t ride her dragon anymore, is losing her hearing and memory, and goes everywhere with Gael to the point that no one even attempts to marry Gael bc they know Alysanne will never let her go. THATS INSANE. They are LIVING SEPARATELY like practically pseudo divorced the way Doran and Mellario are, so is Alysanne just purposefully snubbing these celebrations and using “i’m old” as an excuse or is she passive aggressively riding a carriage all the way back to KL just to show up wearing velaryon colors to viserys’ wedding and then left again without saying goodbye before the banquet even started???

AMD BAELON. part of why i’m so turned off by him is bc we have no indication he felt even a little had but to be fair it has been pointed out to me that we ALSO have no indication he didn’t feel bad; we have no indication of his feelings whatsoever!!! for all we know HE could have felt this was unfair & had been in the middle of either brokering a marriage between his grandkids and her kids, or figured “hey we had this exact same issue with Auntie Rhaena, maybe I should build House Targaryen a second and third seat or even given Dragonstone to The First Born Girl as tradition from now on” like he really could have been trying OR he could have been cackling and rubbing his hands together and encouraging viserys to bed 13 year old aemma soon and often to ensure their line, and calling rhaenys a stupid bitch at court, like we just don’t know!!!!!

We get several “they never agreed on the succession” comments but how does that translate to ACTION. stop telling me dates and tell me WHAT HAPPENED.

[wutheringmights]

Has anyone asked for the commentary for the latest Ctb chapter yet? 👀👀👀

Originally, everything from Link’s conversation with Impa to Link finally leaving for Kakariko was going to be at the end of the last chapter; but as you may recall, I ended up punting it over to this one in a waterfall effect from having to deal with a different delayed scene in the last section.

Good news is that on all fronts, the pacing is finally back on schedule. Mostly. There’s a scene in the present day that I’ve kicked off to a later chapter, but we’ll get to that when we get to that. 

Something I wasn’t able to quite talk about last chapter was why exactly I wanted this incident to be Link’s wake-up call; I wanted Link’s turning point to evolve around him realizing that his way of being a hero is messed up, not only for failing to save Kat but by being told that, politically, he saved the wrong person

Which will then tie into HOW Link saved her. I wanted Link to undoubtedly do the right thing, but I wanted his solution to be so extreme that it’s horrifying. Yes, he saved Kat. But he also brutally murdered three men-- and wanted to make them suffer in the process. Link can’t solve anything without taking extremes. These men have nothing redeemable to them, but in the context of Link’s history, I just wanted readers to sit there and go “huh” for at least a minute. Maybe two. 

As previously posted, the men’s names were based off of things that have given me brain worms as of late. 

This chapter made me realize that I really haven’t done enough with Impa; I’ve been relying too heavily on just telling you how Warriors feels as opposed to having her do things. Incredible work on my part. I will rectify that however I can. 

Speaking of which, Impa’s speech about becoming your role was originally going to include some extra information about her history with Lincoln before she became Impa, but I ended up cutting it because it was just an awkward time to go over that info; I hope there will be a time I can include it later, but it’s not super pressing or relevant so don’t get your hopes up. 

As previously mentioned, Kat’s disability is Broca’s Aphasia 

I remember when I was finalizing Kat and Icarius’s characters, I wondered if anyone was going to think there’s a thematic meaning to so many characters losing the ability to communicate; whatever is there is unintentional on my part, but whatever meaning you derive is still valid 

Also, out of everyone, Kat is the character I feel the worst about hurting. 

And for everyone wondering: Kat was knocked out when she was first bludgeoned. She was not awake when the men were killed. I am both touched and somewhat caught in disbelief that so many of you were worried about this.

When writing the introductory imagery for Kakariko-- describing the streets, people, etc--I was really worried that I was just retreading information that I already gave you all; but it’s also been, like, two years since the first Kakariko chapter came out, so I figured it was worth revisiting.

Hello, Jakucho! It’s been so long since she was in the story that I forgot how fun she is to write. She really brings an incredible energy to the mix. 

I’m trying to remember where exactly I got the idea for Link having to build his own house, especially since this is probably among the first ideas I had for the story. I think I came up with the idea of the house first and my brain immediately said, “Fine, but he built it while going through withdrawals.” O.K. Sounds cool. 

When I was writing the chapter, I didn’t like how I introduced Ayane. I got really hung up on the idea that she deserved something grander. Looking back at it now, I think it’s perfect. I’m glad I didn’t change it. 

There’s this through line I’ve been trying to maintain this entire story about Link feeling stuck in his role as a soldier, how inadequate he feels for not knowing a tradeskill (or really any skill outside of war-waging), and how jealous he is that Spirit can build nearly anything-- and this is the chapter where I finally feel the payoff of all those ideas. 

I hadn’t watched Vinland Saga when I finalized this idea, but now that I have watched it, do you know what this chapter is giving? Thorfinn emotionally healing via a farm arc. Go read Vinland Saga. It’s better than anything I can do. 

However, I did mean for that ending to be a little bit more ominous than it turned out. Sure, Link is deciding to move on and be happier, but he is doing so by ignoring all the things he has done. Surely, this isn’t going to bite him in the butt. 

Now that all of the war stuff is over, the story is now shifting towards a Link homesteading plotline, which will hopefully be as interesting, if not more. It’s definitely going to be harder to write, if only because now I have to take Link and show how he becomes Warriors.

Speaking of which.... onto the present day--

That opening scene where they’re escaping from the Sheikah by running across the rope bridge? That was a certified Pain In The Neck to write. I wrote about three different versions before finding one I thought was half-way decent. Why? I kept getting too elaborate with it and the scene kept running away from me. 

A part of the reason why that scene was such a pain is that it originally wasn’t going to happen! The last chapter was supposed to have a little transition scene about having to sneak away from the Sheikah before ending with the scene where Spirit helps Warriors with his arm. 

But with the canoodling scene kicked over to this chapter, I figured it was about time I began paying off the whole We’re Being Hunted Down By the Sheikah thing.

The hard march stuff then effectively ruined my original concept for the chapter: a series of scene where Spirit interacts one on one with each member of the Chain, to varying degrees of success. That got tossed out the window and never returned. 

But I think it was worth it? I like the hard marching stuff, and it helps with the blend the deep dark atmospheric stuff with the reunited Chain being absolute bozos

And I have missed all of the shenanigans. The exchange at the beginning where Warriors gets sarcastic about being told not to let go is very silly, but I like it. It makes me laugh. 

Speaking of which, I have decided that I am a big fan of Spirit’s whip. That’s all. Just wanted to put that into the world. 

Okay, let’s hop back to the canoodling stuff.

So that scene was what was supposed to be at the end of the previous chapter, if only to give you all the two-punch Spirit What The Fuck moments. Pacing-wise, the scene also acts as set-up for the house drama. Putting it at the end of last chapter would have made it seem like that plot point was more established. 

Also, another shout-out to Legend for being the character who is constantly surprising me with how fun he is to write. I’m not a big fan of him normally, so I always end up forgetting this until I get to write him again. Then again, I am also convinced that Legend is at his best when he’s a member of the supporting cast. He’s not main character material. 

And you guys have finally bullied me enough to convince me to make DILF Hunter Hyrule canon. You can’t say I don’t do anything for you guys. 

Four and Spirit not having a good relationship just feels correct. Even if Spirit was capable of not fumbling a social interaction for more than 10 minutes, I still think these two would not like each other very much. We might be able to get them to coworkers status, but that’s if we’re lucky. 

I finally got to do this scene with Warriors and Lana! Thank god! I think Lana scenes are among the first to get cut any time I need to make space, and this one has been getting pushed back for a awhile now. It’s good to finally get them to talk, if only to wrap up that little subplot about Warriors’s shittiness towards her while scratching the surface of my Sad Girl Lana agenda. 

Actually, this chapter did so well with the Lana and Linkle content that I feel bad that Midna got barely anything to do. Granted, her big moment where Twilight is seeking comfort from her is one of my favorites. So actually, Midna stays winning.

The scene where Spirit equates dead monsters to dead people is the spiritual successor to that scene way back in the past when he and Link had their big fight. I mean, that’s obvious.

A lot of readers seemed really surprised when Spirit was ruthless on the battlefield during Twilight’s rescue, and I want this scene to help remind everyone that Spirit kills people as easily as he kills monsters because, to him, they aren’t different. That’s still shocking, but it’s not because Spirit is uniquely cruel. 

The song that Spirit plays is the Song of Birds from his game, which functionally just summons a flock of birds. You need it to solve, like, one puzzle. I have decided that it’s actually an essential part of Lokomo burial rites. 

I regret giving Hyrule the line about understanding Spirit better. On one hand, I do think this would be a reason Hyrule would soften towards him. On the other, Hyrule was not on the battlefield when Spirit was being a ruthless soldier. What is there for him to understand better?

Legend’s game is a silly scene I have been trying to include in this story for so long, if only to give Spirit a moment to explain in-story how his senses work (and to have an allergic reaction towards Legend). I am trying so hard to drive home that Spirit’s abilities are only the senses. This guy does not have any other weird magic about him. He just knows extra information about people. 

Also, Wind robbing Spirit is extra funny when you remember that Spirit probably sensed him nearby and still somehow did not realize he was being pickpocketed. 

I think the things Spirit senses off of the boys are fairly obvious, except for Wild-- that water stuck in the nose feeling refers to Wild being submerged in the Shrine of Resurrection

I feel bad that I keep giving Wind more problems to deal with, but unfortunately, head trauma causes so many lasting conditions. I haven’t even really milked his newfound half-deafness yet. 

Also, thank you once more for everyone who gave me additional information on how signing with one hand works! You’re all the bomb!

The most painful cut this chapter was a scene where Spirit met Kat again. It's still gonna happen somehow, but the logistics didn't quite work (they're supposed to be on the run... what are they doing with meemaw???) and I just needed to focus on other things. It's such a shame, though. We almost had a perfect cohesive past and present chapter combo.

Initially, I was going to leave Toto in the well until the end of the story. He would act as extra motivation for Warriors to basically fix Hyrule-- if he doesn’t, Toto doesn’t go free. Then at least one person asked that he be rescued, and I crumbled. 

Also, if I did my job right, this is the first time in the present day that Anders’s name is said out loud! 

So you can probably guess that if I was willing to take as much time as needed to write the rest of CTB, I would have given saving Toto and burning the house down its own chapter. I’m not great at pacing (see: the fact that I wrote a whole chapter about characters traveling instead of skimming over that shit), but I figured I would take the risk and see if I could get away with having both off screen.

Was it effective? In some ways, yes. I think the shock when Warriors finds out is effective. 

What really makes my cutting corners work is that Warriors got to do something else that was really important instead, which is talking with Icarius. 

(By the way, I know most of you are doing a bit about being hardcore Warriors/Icarius shippers. But the few of you who are genuine, I need you all to wait until I actually show what the relationship is like before committing, if only because this is something I of all people would be writing). 

What isn’t effective is how Cia’s drawing was meant to foreshadow the house burning. I always thought of it as a minor detail akin to Cia’s warnings while she was in the bush, but a lot of you clung to it like it was going to hold the key to final climax of the narrative. That’s probably my fault. Oops. 

But Warriors and Spirit fighting... perfect. Love that scene. Honestly, I missed their violence. 

But my god. Getting to elaborate on the house and how it's filled with his mother's things at the start of the chapter before having it ripped away? Priceless. Perfect. I am patting myself on the back for that one.

I kinda hate that Warriors and Wind moment. It’s good and everything I like until after Wind offers up his earring. I didn’t know where else to take the scene, but I didn’t want to end it there. What I ended up writing is just really cliche, and I really wish I gave myself more time to redo it. 

And finally, that ending scene. Oh boy. Your honor, something is going on. If you guys are this stressed by a little cuddling, I cannot wait to see how next chapter is going to mess you up (pending on whether I chicken out or not)

Once more, I have to point out how insane everyone’s takes are making me. No one, and I mean no one, is on the same page about whatever is going on between Warriors and Spirit. There is no consensus. It’s driving me to insanity. I am still pushing myself to embrace different interpretations and to not view personal takeaways as a failing of the story. 

But the more space I give everyone to draw their own conclusions, the more I get worried about alienating a reader, or writing a story with an ending that one person likes and everyone else hates. 

But, again, this is a practice in ambiguity. Part of this story’s draw is how so many people are reading the same scenes and characters, and walking away with different perspectives. As nervous as it makes me, I love it.

[telltaleangelina]

TC tag game Thank you for the questions and for tagging me @renaultphile Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans

"He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t think I’ve read it enough to have a sense of something like this. I really disliked Laurie’s scenes with Adrian though. So it’s not so much ‘he wouldn’t say that’ as ‘I would prefer to ignore the fact that he said/did that.'

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they did. The first time I read it, I didn't really wonder if something had happened, only what had happened: I didn’t know if they’d only kissed or done anything more. Later, it seemed to be confirmed by Ralph’s letter that they’d not done ‘anything more,’ I just assumed it was a kiss, and I don’t really think the dialogue following the ellipses makes much sense without anything having happened. “Now you see what I mean, Spud. It would never have done, would it? Well, goodbye.” What could Laurie have seen if there was nothing besides a hug or handshake or something? What would never have done? Why ask him to ‘come here’ at all?

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I really don’t think he’d have any, but if he did I think it'd probably be something nautical.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I don’t know which of them I read and I definitely haven’t read another addition, so I can’t answer this. Apparently, the earlier one had more detail and dialogue, so if I haven’t I’d love to read it

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Sandy, I think he'd be great on here.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

Laurie reading a book or Laurie just at the beginning, sitting around awkwardly, listening to people’s conversations and wondering how on earth he ended up there.

7. Post a TC meme

The first I ever saw (on the Mary Renault tag) and still the funniest to me, I think because I understand it perfectly

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Straike, I hate him with a fiery passion. The man had a dog put down, not because he was sick or anything but simply because he couldn’t be bothered to care for him. Vicar? Ridiculous.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

'This is not Ancient Greece, stop being weird,' at the exact moment Andrew is telling him his traumatic life-story and Laurie is preoccupied worrying about Dave. Also related to the question, but not really asked for: if I could I’d also tell Andrew he doesn’t have to feel ashamed of how he feels about Laurie. Well, more accurately, I’d give him a modern copy of ‘Quaker Faith & Practice’ and have the relevant passages highlighted, so I know he won’t miss them. It makes me very sad for both Andrew and Dave that their whole lives could've been very different (and much happier) if they were born four or five generations later.

9. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I can't think of any, besides wondering how Mary Renault could've written it because it's so good. I love the use of subtext, the way she describes emotions you've felt before but never would've been able to put into words on your own. In terms of characters and story, I do have a random question about Bunny: was it supposed to be implied that he was a perpetrator of sexual assault? I got that idea when I was reading the car scene between him and Laurie but I was unsure.

I don't know who to tag! I think all of the Charioteer accounts I know have already been tagged, but if anyone hasn't and wants to, I'd love to read your response!

[the-invisible-bunny]

@doubleragnarok I really hope you don’t mind me tagging you like this (thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only person in need of this fic), but it turned out far far too long for an actual reply because I just wrote a scene off the top of my head 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sue would be doing it 100% with everyone’s best interests at heart - mostly Johnny’s but also because she cares about Peter and wouldn’t want a disastrous love affair to leave them both hurt and without the other for a friend. Everyone would mean well but there’d just be a lot of unnecessary angsting first 🤷🏻‍♀️ so Sue starts it all by having an awkward but firm conversation with poor Peter kind of like…

“Listen,” Sue said heavily, and Peter just knew he wasn’t going to enjoy the conversation. “Peter. We love you. You’re family. You know that, right?”

He nodded. It was nice to hear, but he could sense the ‘but’ that was coming. It loomed.

“So consider this the kind of honesty that comes from a place of love, and that I wouldn’t say if you weren’t family,” she continued as Peter’s sense of dread grew.

“I know you and Johnny are… friends…” the way she said it made Peter’s heart lurch.

“Best friends,” Peter supplied hopelessly. He wanted more. He thought he’d seen the same desire in Johnny, glimpses flickering in the flames. 

Sue gave him a look, and Peter shut up. “Don’t.” She said.

He was silent. The chattering part of him that came out around villains and Johnny had nothing to say to that. Don’t what? Speak? Or… His heart clenched again at the thought of Johnny. So unbearably precious. He thought he’d lost him […?]

“I know you mean well,” Sue said, “but Johnny’s not like you. I’ve watched him pour everything into relationships with people who don’t deserve him again and again.”

Peter had too. He bristled at the memory.

“After everything that’s happened, I think we should be honest here,” she said. “I love you Peter but I love my brother more. He needs someone who can handle the responsibility of our position and powers.”

Peter spluttered indignantly.

Sue held up her hands, “I know you’re a good friend to him, and I am grateful that he can have a friend with whom to cut loose and just forget about these things for a while. But you’re too irresponsible to be more than that. Don’t hurt him like that.”

Peter stared at her in shock. What kind of parallel universe had he wandered into? In what reality was Johnny the responsible one?

She was looking at him, serious and calm. It didn’t matter what he said or did, Sue was unwavering. He knew without trying. 

He thought of Johnny, relaxed golden sunshine smiling at him, and the way he worshipped his sister. 

“I understand,” he said tightly. He didn’t, but it didn’t matter. Sue didn’t approve, and that was the end of it. 

And then Peter has an existential crisis and withdraws from Johnny a bit (makes sure it’s all platonic and Johnny is sad because obviously he’s in love with Peter and for a moment there he thought maybe Peter might feel the same but clearly not). And then Peter has conversations with both Johnny and Sue about responsibility and rethinks some things and eventually Peter and Johnny get together and are happy and everything is fine (and Sue approves because Peter has proved himself to be responsible in the way that she thinks Johnny needs).

And now I want to write it more 🤦🏻‍♀️ Maybe sooner rather than later (I just need to figure out when it happens and ensure I’m up-to-date on all the relevant canonical angst)

[samwpmarleau]

genuinely wanting someone who hated the james tartt sr. story to explain (not putting u on the spot, others feel free to weigh in!) — in what way is showing a character has chosen to go to rehab & smiling once = redeeming that character ?

i literally feel like people complaining about sr’s “redemption arc” are watching a different show than i am…. having qualms is valid but i don’t think redemption is what anyone was going for here.

Requisite disclaimer that this is just my opinion. Others may have their own.

Putting this under a cut because it's long.

I don't think he was redeemed — in my eyes, he's way beyond redemption — but I think the show clearly wants us to view him as such. Which is an issue because there's absolutely no foundation for it. The last we saw of James, he was humiliating his son in front of the entire team and, had it not been for Beard (whom James later tried to murder, let's not forget), would have assaulted him. Since then, while we hadn't seen James, we'd heard a story of him: Jamie tells us that when he was 14, James facilitated his rape via a prostitute in a foreign country, which traumatized Jamie so badly that he doesn't even remember the encounter.

To say nothing of the other things we've learned and seen:

Throwing a boot at Jamie's head

Laying into him for having the audacity to score merely the winning assist rather than the winning goal

Constantly calling Jamie soft if he didn't dominate, thereby forcing Jamie to put up walls to protect himself

Impregnating Georgie when she was 16 (let's really hope it was a short relationship because oh wait, the age of consent in England is 16 so if they were in a relationship any earlier, James would be a statutory rapist twice over)

Abandoning her and Jamie shortly after Jamie was born

Many many more things we're not privy to

James is a piece of shit, to put it mildly. That's what they told and showed us throughout the first 33 episodes of the show. The incident at Wembley, and James in general, hadn't so much as been mentioned since it happened, not even in the episode in which they played Man City, let alone hints that James suddenly had a come-to-jesus moment.

Then we get to 3x11, and Jamie is having an identity crisis and two near-panic attacks — one of which causes him to faint — because he's spent half his life doing what he did out of anger at his father and to prove himself, and he now has to face what happens when those motivators are no longer there.

He goes to his mother for comfort and advice, which she gives to him, and it's great advice! She tells him that he's an amazing person, that his worth isn't derived from his father, and that James isn't going to change so Jamie shouldn't be torturing himself with hope. All of that coincides with everything we'd seen up until then, and is headed for a sad but important message: sometimes people don't change. Sometimes people won't love you or give you their approval. Sometimes you do need to cut ties with someone, even if that someone is your parent. It's okay to not forgive them or come to a nice rosy conclusion with them, and that you can move on without doing so.

And what does the show do? It has Ted — Ted who is projecting like hell, Ted who thinks every parental situation is the same, Ted who has absolutely no business butting in on something like this, Ted who has already given Jamie shitty advice before — telling him to "just forgive him." Which not only sets Jamie up for falling right back into James's abusive cycle but completely obliterates what Jamie's mother said. Instead of her experience and relevance leading to good advice, the show tells us she was wrong and heartless, that Ted is the one to listen to. Additionally, it tells us that Jamie can't be his best self unless he forgives and reconnects with James.

(Ted also frames this as Jamie letting go of his anger. Which is a rather strange thing to be a lightbulb moment for Jamie, considering that wasn't his problem. He himself said earlier in the episode that he feels so lost because he doesn't have that anger — he has indifference. Jamie didn't need a releasing of anger or forgiveness for his dad, he just needed clarity and guidance.)

Then, it shows us James in rehab. To which I say: since fucking when??? What had we seen or heard from James that would ever indicate he'd go to rehab? Worse, it shows us James nearly crying with pride and love for Jamie (oh, can't forget Denbo and Bug either and their "His dad would've been proud" nonsense). Since fucking when??? James has NEVER shown pride or love for Jamie. Jamie has only ever been a source of clout for him. FFS, he gleefully cheered against him at Wembley!

To say nothing of the fact that James's alcoholism was a symptom, not the disease. Alcoholism doesn't make you the sort of person to do all of the horrific things James did. It may have made things worse, but it didn't cause him to do them and getting clean doesn't magically make him into a good person as the show implies.

All of which I still would've hated but could have probably accepted, were it not for the text. Fine, have Jamie forgive him (ugh). Fine, have James in rehab (maybe I'll pretend it was court-mandated).

But then they have Jamie — Jamie who doesn't even know James is in rehab, the last memory he has is of 2x08 — actually reconnect. They even show that he's deleted the quotes he used to have around James's name in his phone. Jamie says it's "been awhile," that he hopes he's okay, and smiles after sending it. The implication being that he and James will reconcile and perpetuate the bullshit that family is family no matter how abusive they are and you can't not keep ties. What the fuck. Jamie should not have to do that, and the SHOW certainly should not present that message.

It's harmful, repulsive, puts Jamie in harm's way, and I really fucking hate it.

[fandomgremlinlover]

My opinions on the ATLA Live action series (just from the first episode):

….I fucking hate it.

No, the visuals are not the problem. And no, the cast is not the problem. It’s the fucking dialogue and delivery. As well at the changes they’ve made.

I can tell you right now, as a hard core atla fan, LA katara is not the katara I know. Why the FUCK is this girl not RAGEFUL AND SASSY!!! There is literally nothing to work with, her personality is dry, and her dialogue and delivery is so fucking blaaaannnd. It literally makes me want gouge my eyeballs out. My girl has been RUINED!!! THIS IS MUTINY!?!? Not only that, but aang’s lines and dialogue make me want to cringe and cry and throw up. His delivery is NOT done well (I blame the fuckin directors for this) and his lines make absolutely NOOOO sense for his character. Wheres the goofy little boy I know!?! Wheres the kid who RAN AWAY bc he was scared to be the Avatar!?! WHERES AANG!?!?

His reactions to his people being dead and gone are NOT it👁️👄👁️ also that reaction for Gyasto came out of fucking nowhere. He ALREADY knew about his peoples death, and how the fire nation had something to do with it!? He literally went from, “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL EVERYONE WITH MY AVATAR POWERS!!” to literally, “sorry guys,😢😢 I don’t know what got into me, I guess I overreacted a bit😰😔”…..NO YOU DIDNT AND WHY ARE YOU SO MATURE FOR 12 YEARS OLD!?!? ALSO WHY DID THEY CHANGE HIM FROM RUNNING AWAY!?! TO “I think I need some time to think guys😕😕😔😔” LIKE—NOOOOOOOO YOUR SUPPOSED FO FEEL AFRIAD OF BEING THE AVATAR AND BEING SENT AWAY AND YOU DONT WANT FO BE DIFFERENT AND SO YOU RUN AWAY FROM YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES BC YOUR IN DENIALLLLLLL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Not only that, but media literacy is dead. Bc wtf do you mean you have to explain ALLLL the lore and info dump in the first episode😀 What happened to show not tell, hmm??? What happened to people having to use their fucking BRAINS to figure out themselves!?!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT THE ORIGINAL INTRO INTO GRANNY’S DIALOGUE!?!?

AND WHY, do pray tell, DID YOU TELL AANG ABOUT THE GENOCIDE TO HIS PEOPLE IN THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE!?!??! AND LITERALLY HAVE HIM REACT “man we lose people, but we gotta move forward😔” NOOOOOO WHYYY, AGAIN, DO YOU HAVE TO PUT IN BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE DIALOGUE💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Iroh is a whole other can of worms that I will open later, but right now what you need to know is, I’m fucking pissed.

Now onto another issue, Zuko’s scar…Why the hell is it pretty-fied!?! Like, that is NOT Zuko’s fucking scar and anyone who wants to argue me about that can suck a lemon. Bc I’ve seen WAYYYY better makeup done by cheap ass makeup for cosplays. Let me say that again, COSPLAYS. Zuko’s scar is supposed to cover at LEAST half his face, and reach his ear. It’s supposed to be ugly and unsatisfying to look at. Because it’s a fucking fire burn. Also he can barely lift his fucking eyelid in the canon show, so what the fuck is that about!?! Like I don’t WANT a nice, aesthetically pleasing scar, I want an ACTUAL FUCKING BURN THAT DOESNT LOOK LIKE IT WAS DRAWN ON BY EYELINER!!!!!🤬🤬🤬

Sokka, my poor sweet funny Sokka…what have they done to you!!😭😭 They removed his most IMPORTANT character arc bc it was “iffy” and “was not relevant to the plot”…..it was fucking relevant you sick sacks of shit, he’s supposed to be iffy and then later grow threw Suki. He’s SUPPOSED TO BE SEXIST AND GROW AS A CHARACTER BC EVERYONE HAS FLAWS!?! IT WAS MEANT TO PROGRESS HIM BECOMING A BETTER LEADER AND MAKE HIM LEARN THAT UNDERESTIMATING HIS ENEMIES IS A NO GO!?!? LIKE, EVEN 9 YEAR OLD FUCKING ME SAW THAT SHIT!?!? BUT YOU CANT????? 💀

The only thing I enjoyed about this episode was the visuals, and admittedly, the air temple battle scene. It got to me, and it goes to show that the fire benders were brutal when they committed a genocide against the Air nomads. That was it….i…I don’t know how I sat through the rest of the episode….bc it makes me SOO angry. Like, as soon as the ending credits came, I started sobbing. They had the ability and the tools to make a great live action of ATLA, but they blew it. Because this show isn’t for the fans or for anyone who likes to sit down and discuss the meanings and implications of each scene and its significance for the show. No, this show is for people who only want noise in the background. I don’t care for it, and I’m not happy with what they’ve done. When I heard the original creators stepped away from it bc they were promised this show would be exactly like the original series, but instead they chose what they wanted to do and change. I knew we were doomed. I understand there are people who live the live action, and I understand. But I simply cannot tolerate the show when I know they could do better. I hate to compare shows and medias, but One Piece set my expectations really high. Bc the creator had full control or say over any and every decision that was made in the LA. The Live action ATLA disappointed me and I’m very sorry to say that I didn’t enjoy it. But I had a hunch, and for me, I was right.

[sonofthesaiyans]

Unpopular AOT Opinions

Not that I have ever held much in common with the rest of the AOT fandom, especially as someone who has called themselves an Ex-Fan for the last five years.........Nevertheless, a few thoughts that sure to leave the typical AOT fanatic a bit salty. 

* Eren Yeager is actually one of the worst anime protagonists. Even back when I was on his side, I never found him to be an especially phenomenal character. There was a time I liked Eren Yeager, but I was never ever enamored by him. And you know a character is bad when he has his foolish fans insisting that he was completely in the right to wage genocide on the earth and should have finished the job. 

* Likewise, Mikasa is still one of the worst anime female protagonists. While not an outright awful character, she is far too one-dimensional due to her singleminded fixation on Eren. Even after he goes off the deep end. I don’t give a damn about her feelings about Eren. And you should not either, Eremika fans. 

* Attack on Titan’s worldbuilding is crap. We don’t even know the name of some districts of the Walls yet and there’s much of them still unexplored. We know about the nations of Paradis, Marley, and Hizuru, the last of which NEVER made an onscreen appearance. And we certainly didn’t get enough development of Marley as the main enemy faction, they never felt like a fully fleshed out plot point. They’re one-dimensional. And never grew beyond an explanation for the Titans’ origins. That’s to say nothing of the world beyond Marley, or of other Eldian survivors worldwide. Or the Mid-East Aliiance! 

* Erwin should have inherited the Colossal Titan. Armin doesn’t utilize his nearly enough to justify his possession of it. Erwin almost certainly would never have wasted such a powerful advantage. 

* Annie was revived too late. Far too last minute for her motivations to feel organic and her arc to feel properly played out. She should have died in Season One and her Titan consumed by one of her captors. Plus her popularity is unwarranted, especially once we learned how unremorseful she is over her crimes. 

* I don’t care about Onyankopon. I’m not saying he’s a bad character, he’s not even a character with any characteristics we can really hate. But I can’t be bothered to remember he’s there half the time. Probably because there’s little he can do to balance out the many bad elements of the final arcs. He’s hardly a critical player. 

* NicoSasha is one of the WORST pairings ever conceived, mostly because they got zero onscreen time together aside from a single flashback. See this is the stuff you idiots need to consider before you kill off one half of a pairing you want to push as a relevant plot point. 

* The Uprising Arc is largely irrelevant. I can’t be bothered to even look at that part of the story with more than passing acknowledgement. Why do you people get your rocks off at the sight of Kenny Ackerman, anyway? Is he somebody I was supposed to care about either? 

* The Warhammer Titan, as I touched upon in an older post, is a total waste of time. If you’re gonna round out the Nine Titans, you can’t afford for any one of them to be a footnote in the story. And that’s all it and its wielder Lara Tybur are; a footnote in the story. Does it honestly even need to exist in the narrative? Kind of makes me wonder why Liberio was even a part of the story. Could’ve saved us a TON of grief on that one. 

* I hate Mikasa’s S4 redesign. She looks far too masculine and not in a good way. I have no problem with such things, but in her case she just does not look good. And Sasha’s S4 look is one that sits poorly too with me now. Probably because of its obvious association with the miserable events of that season. 

* Falco..........More on him later. 

* Ymir Fritz is one of the LEAST engaging plot points of the series and I think a shoddy explanation for the Titans’ origins. It’s already a needlessly complicated story as it is, but I feel nothing for this walking little spoiler. And don’t get me started on this idiotic revelations in the finale. 

* Lindsay Seidel’s performance as Gabi is every bit as abysmal as the character she agreed to play. And I never want to hear her voice in anything to follow her work on Titan ever again. 

* And that goes equal ways to Bryce Papenbrook and his overrated ass. 

* They did Hange Zoe dirty in Season Four. I am PISSED they framed her as such an inept commander as they did. It definitely hurt my otherwise warm opinion of her. Fucking disrespectful that they’d waste her like that. 

* Fuck this grey morality BS the fans keep pushing. I do NOT appreciate being made to hate Paradis by the end of the series, the faction we were supposed to be rooting for early on. I am REALLY not kosher with this at all. Not having any true heroes to root for by the end destroyed my ability to hold on to even a speck of genuine investment.  * I did NOT approve of Artur Braus and his family forgiving Gabi Braun. You do NOT place the murderer of your child above said child. That wasn’t a show of moral integrity. That was failure to honor the memory of the person who they owed justice to. Treating them in the right for how they handled that situation is not as noble as Isayama frames it as. Anyone want to try to disagree?  * The Thunder Spears are actually pretty pathetic weapons, rarely ever landing an outright kill.  * The Rumbling by SiM? DOGSHIT. I hate it because of the season and opening it’s attached to. You can’t polish a turd with this grunge crap. 

* My War is also an extremely forgettable AOT theme. 

* Hiroyuki Sawano’s music is the only consistently good element of the series aside from the aforementioned. And it too is poisoned by its association with this. Guilt By Association. 

* Jean Kirstein isn’t nearly as interesting as fans have been making him out to be in S4. I dare say I stopped caring if he would die well before that disastrous finale. The same goes for Connie Springer, who had no business surviving this due to having zero plot. Does that count as an unpopular opinion? I know some people tire of Sasha’s potato gag, but Connie’s hardly a funny character on his own. 

* Hajime Isayama is DEFINITELY a closeted fascist. 

* Studio MAPPA’s animation is hideous compared to WIT’s. 

* People like Yelena. I do not. Why does she exist again?  * Eren’s descent into villainy is one of the worst bad calls in anime history, right up there with everything involving Gabi Braun. Both of these characters brought down AOT. 

* Gabi Braun’s fanbase represents some of the biggest fucking ASSHOLES I’ve ever put up with. If you’re a fan of this character, fucking get help, because I’m not listening to your pathetic attempts to defend something so unnecessary as if she’s the second coming of Christ. The fanaticism from her end is incomprehensible. 

* Pieck Finger is a wholly unnecessary character. She’s not even that cute. She’s just there. No plot, no point.  * Ymir’s reasons for leaving Historia and getting eaten for her troubles? Total horseshit. Like this was an egregious waste of someone set up to be a much bigger presence in the story. This was when the fanbase should’ve deserted the entire thing. Just the first of many abandoned subplots and character arcs. Is that an unpopular stance? I don’t know, but I’m going to count it anyway. 

* And finally.........THIS STORY ENDED WITH THE OCEAN. 

[machiavellli]

I want to have a little discussion about the behavior of an anon:

*Possible Hogwarts legacy spoiler in the pic, even if I covered them, and the discussion is spoiler free don’t worry*

I really can’t understand why a person would want to waste even just mere seconds of their life just for trying to cause pain in others…is your life that bad?

In any case my dear facc ‘e cazz che par ‘a wallera anon, jokes on you: I already (willingly) spoilered the entire game to myself🥰 when it first came out, because I never thought I would be able to get it and I wanted to know what happened. And also because I can’t stand any level of thriller, seriously when it’s night in the game I feel already too much pressure LOL💀💀

But this really got me wonder the intention behind this…you wanted to hurt me? To ruin the game that I openly express my excitement about? But why? Do you know me? Did I do something to you? Or is negativity just so present in yourself that you can’t help but be just genuinely a bad person, which it’s simply just sad. Your attempt is sad.

And that “oh and…” who are you? My little cousin (who is twelve) trying to do a trick on me🤨🤨

But believe me when I said that nothing on this platform is ever going to be as relevant as anything else that actually happens in real life.

(Besides the fact that I just recived a splendid news and honestly I can’t stop similing right now for the excitement, so you really tried in the most unuseful moment lol)

I will only remember the positives things from this experience on tumblr which have been many and I still can’t understand how it all happened over a little bit more than a month😭❤️

Now, anon has been blocked, because I apply my moral laws everywhere and tumblr is no different. You disturb my peace? You get cut out. And I don’t really give second chances.

In conclusion, I would like to end on a serious note. If you are dealing with stressful situations or it’s just a bad chapter of your life, I’m very good at listening, I’ve helped many people in the past. I’m always up for a chat, we don’t have to know each other, I know how important internet friends can be, some of my friends are people that I met through fandoms and even if we have never met each other we are still friends after years and years❤️

Also for battling the negativity, later I’ll do another tweet post. I know that it takes 5 positive things to forget 1 negative thing, but we are going to have to roll with 3 tweets🙃💗