#We have community tags?? Oh gracious I need to start using them

[hey-michael-young-history]

Modern AU

A while back, I was writing a subscorp AU where Hanzo and Bi-Han are lawyers. I mean, I guess I'm STILL writing it 🤔

ANYWAY, I stopped right at the point where Kuai Liang decides to go see Hanzo after aggravating Bi-Han but this is a scene that would have been in a future chapter. I really like it because I worry about my characterization a lot (ESPECIALLY Kuai Liang, since he's younger here, but I've accepted it) and I think I nailed Bi-Han's canon "Annoyed at Everything and Everyone for Existing" attitude, while also making him a little less flat.

You might be seeing this again when I pick it back up, but enjoy!

“You cannot afford this.”

Bi-Han couldn’t take his eyes off of the itemized plan of care in front of him. 

Root canals. Crowns. Replacements. Mouth guards. Follow up appointments. 

“$21,000,” he whispered. His heart was sinking deeper and deeper. That was more than his sign on bonus but if he crunched the numbers hard enough, he could have had all of the money. He’d survived on fake ramen before, he could do it again. 

Except. 

Except he’d spent that money. Breaking his lease, moving into the new place, furnishing the bedroom that Kuai Liang had abandoned. 

He swallowed hard, hot tears tickling his eyes. Fucking Kuai Liang. Why didn’t he say something about the fucking ice or his fucking teeth or anything?

He told Hasashi everything and naturally, Hasashi took him to the most expensive fucking dentist in the whole fucking city. Now, this smug asshole had pulled him out of the office for a lunch Bi-Han surely couldn’t afford and definitely no longer had an appetite for, to gloat over the fact that he couldn’t afford this bullshit. 

“There is something wrong with every single one of his teeth,” Hanzo explained. “Some require simple fillings, some have extensive structural damage. Your brother has been very uncomfortable for a very long time.”

“Okay,” Bi-Han snapped. “So— okay, I’m not on the insurance yet. The probationary period—”

Hanzo shook his head. “I have taken care of it. He is getting the final procedures as we speak.”

Bi-Han balled his fists and concentrated on keeping his ice contained. A week. He’d texted Kuai Liang and tried to call but he just wouldn’t answer. 

He didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. 

He definitely didn’t want Kuai Liang running off with some stranger. 

“No, I’m going to pay—”

“Lin Bi-Han,” Hanzo said sharply. “There is nothing to pay.”

Now he was being treated like a child. “You’re lucky I don’t press charges. You kidnapped my brother.”

“Kuai Liang consented to both staying with me and his oral treatment plan,” Hanzo countered. 

“Fuck you,” Bi-Han spat. 

Hanzo only smirked. 

“I want him back. Did you bring me out here to threaten me? Fire me. I don’t care. I’m not selling my brother to you, you perverted fuck.”

The disgust on his stupid face was almost worth burning this bridge. “I’m not interested in buying Kuai Liang. He is under an enormous amount of stress.”

“Oh, he’s stressed,” Bi-Han sneered. “Poor Kuai Liang. All he has to do is go to school, do his homework, clean up after himself. And he can’t even fucking do that.”

Hanzo sighed. “I can understand your frustration. It is not easy, being responsible for someone. But your anger is affecting him. There is a strong person waiting to come out of your brother.”

“Out of Kuai Liang?” Bi-Han would have laughed if he wasn't so close to crying. 

Hanzo raised an eyebrow. “You begrudge his presence in your life, yet cruelly scoff at any attempt for independence.”

“Going to you is not independence,” Bi-Han snapped. “And I want him back.”

He threw the papers down and stormed out of the dining patio. Hanzo sighed. 

[sins-of-the-sea]

My Brother’s Keeper

“Well, now. With all that said and done, we can finally get to the sweet, sweet finale, right? You all do remember that I always win, yes? No matter what Asks you send in, no matter what words of encouragement? You think that a grand gesture was what had Phoebus bring back Guy? Well, I heard it said around the community….

“’A single grand gesture will not bring in any semblance of forgiveness.’” Nor will any of us all forget. I certainly won’t. Though it was tons of fun seeing him think it helped any at all. Far more entertaining than I thought it would be. 

“But as you see, I still need my Eye, and I am a gracious, kind, merciful Master. Even without those words of encouragement, I would have brought Guy back to Phoebus either way as a carrot to a stick. The Sin of Sloth can only do so much damage standing back and smiling as his brother Lust drowns. And more can be done with positive reinforcement in addition to punishment.

��Now let’s see here…. Ah, yes.

“I wasn’t lying: I did crack open Phoebus’s soul as a warning. But I shall admit: I did do a little more. His soul belongs to me, after all. I own it, and I shall do as I wish with it.

“I took a piece. And what I shall do with this piece.... well.

“Trite. Rubbish. You all know how it is in your communities. If there are a hordes of people voicing their dislike for something, then it is for a reason, no?”

“You are aware that many other siblings have broken apart and murdered each other, yes? Being born from the same father or mother means nothing to many. Look up the actual Cain and Abel of the Abrahamic Bibles. Upon Marcus Aurelius Antoninus and Publius Septimius Geta. Upon Li Shimin, Li Jiangchen, and Li Yuanji. The Ottoman Empire even legalized fratricide starting with Mehmed II due to the struggles of Mehmed I. Brotherhood means nothing throughout mankind.

“Do you even listen to yourself?”

“I believe the Internet adage for this certain scenario is for you to ‘cope’.”

“Oh, he got scared, all right. Far more than you’ll ever know.”

“There shall be no other Gods before me....”

“Hahaha! You almost made me like you. You. You’re a fun one.”

“Blah blah blah blah-”

“You took too long, I almost fell asleep.”

“I am curious, this one. Do you talk to your salt shakers like little children? Your life up to this point must have been absolutely dreadful, going about in the dark to gather all the lost fatherless men like dolls to collect for your shelves. What would work for princes wouldn’t work for paupers. All to fill in a void carved out by the ones before you. 

“How long will it be before that void swallows you up and those who care for you? I wonder...”

“Words thrown in the wind. As all these would be.” The Master then crumples up all these messages and turn them into sea salt, sprinkling across the waves until nothing is left. “And now for one final touch. And don’t even think of going through the tags or the blog for a double-check...”

[rosesisupposes]

Other Half

hi i was haunted with the idea of subverting a soulmate trope after a chat with @potestessemagishomosexualitatis and it evolved in like a day on discord so here y’all go!

relationships: brotherly prinxiety, QPR moceit, romantic royality, implied/eventual anxceit

content tags: musician roman, techie/sound-guy Virgil, deaf Patton, QPRs, amatonormativity, soulmates & lack thereof, happy ending

word count: 2,847

read on ao3

Roman has half a soulmark, waiting to make skin contact with his Soulmate to finally be completed.

His brother, not so much.

Context: In this world, soulmates have half a symbol somewhere on their skin, each with one half. When soulmates have skin contact for the first time, both marks complete. The amatonormativity (prioritizing romantic love) is very strong, despite the fact that soulmates have frequently been platonic, not just romantic. It’s still a rather progressive idea, similar to gay marriage, and the traditions and stories are all centered around that romantic ideal. In that vein, some people have thirds or fourth of a mark would need to contact all their soulmates to have a complete mark. Marks are very much for One Person (or, occasionally, Two or Three Specific People), and so not everyone meets their mate. Not everyone has the means. They could be anywhere in the world! But unfortunately, there's still an idea that even if you're with a partner, you'd leave them if you met your soulmate, and that other relationship are just settling.

⁂

Enter two brothers.

Roman goes starry-eyed over stories of meet-cutes and surprise soulmates. He wants to know if he'll feel it, as his mark completes. Someday, when he meets his Someone™️!!!

And then his brother, Virgil.

Virgil... doesn't have a mark. He's not sure he's heard of that before. He has some freckles, but those fade with the seasons. Soulmarks don't fade.

Roman has half a circle, and it either has petals or rays around it. A flower or a sun, he thinks. It's right on his bicep, so he frequently goes sleeveless, and greets new people by taking both their hands in his every time. Just in case.

Lots of people do that- but it makes Virgil uncomfortable. Even if he knows he'll never be the one to trigger someone's mark, he hates knowing that's what everyone expects. He'd rather keep his hands to himself. He wears his big baggy hoodie to avoid the expectant stares of people looking for his mark, and avoids skin contact as much as he can.

They grow up in a family without a ton of resources, so neither can afford to take the 'Soul Year' some teens do where they travel before going into higher education. But Roman's determined that his career will help him meet hundreds, no, thousands of people, and he will find his soulmate!

Virgil really doesn't love the whole soulmate thing, the obsession with it, the constant reminder that he doesn’t have one and will never have one. But he does love his brother.

He tries, sometimes, to temper Roman's excitement just to make sure it doesn't hurt too much if he never finds The One. But mostly he just listens as Roman waxes poetic about his hypothetical love.

Roman, for several years, went silent, assuming Virgil wouldn't want to hear it. But Virgil has just kinda accepted it, you know? He's basically like everyone who never ends up meeting their mate, except he gets to skip the years of doubt and worry that their mate might suddenly appear at any time. He knows from the get-go. He’ll never have to look back with regret or sorrow, never have to worry about disrupted relationships, never need to mourn that his hypothetical mate might have died before he could meet them. It’s fine, really.

Roman becomes a singer and songwriter, and acts on the side. Virgil does his cover art and helps him with the sound-mixing. They're a great team - and they always have been.

Virgil makes friends with the roadies and techies, happy to leave Roman in the spotlight. He dates, sometimes. It's easier when they go on tour- a short international stay means no promises, no uncomfortable conversations about the future, no intrusive knowledge of a partner's Someone™️ out there.

After years of touring, Roman is internationally known and recognized. But he's also starting to lose hope.

He's lost count of all the meet-and-greets he's been to, how many hands he's grabbed from the stage into the crowd. He makes sure to at least high-five every roadie and tech, every opening act or announcer. His songs range from fantastical to domestic, from sweet and bubbly to sorrowful and yearning, and he loves creating, he does. But he knows there's someone out there for him, and he wants to meet them so, so badly.

They're in Paris for a show, and Virgil and Roman are strolling along the Seine. It's Spring, Roman's favorite time of year, and all the trees are in bloom. It looks like something out of a Hallmark movie.

Roman sighs heavily.

Virgil bumps him with an elbow. "Hey, no moping. That's my aesthetic, no stealing."

"Vee, what if I don't ever meet them?"

"Ro-"

"I know I should keep hoping, but- I've touched so many people and still haven't found them, what if I never will?"

"Then you'll be like most of us, Ro. Find love & companionship the new way: with hard work and dating apps."

Roman nods, but sighs again. "I just... really wanna, Vee." His voice is small, like a pouting kid. 

"I know. I hope you do."

They keep walking, but Roman's practically shuffling. On the one hand, he is a fucking drama queen.

On the other hand, Virgil wants him to feel better. 

Rolling his eyes, Virgil orders ice cream from a vendor in clumsy but serviceable French and presents Roman with his sprinkle-covered cone. Just like he knew it would, it perks him up immediately.

"Chocolate! My favorite!!"

"How are you possibly older than me. You are five."

"I just have childlike wonder, not a well of ennui!"

"Fuckin' dork."

"Edgy poser."

"Prima donna."

"Nerd."

Distracted, Roman walks straight into a man looking off at the river. He stumbles and trips and they both fall.

"Oh goodness gracious, forgive me, excusez moi, je suis desole! Pardonnez-moi!" he rattles off.

The man smiles, and his hands dance. Virgil realizes he's signing. Sorry, I didn't see you there!

 Luckily, Virgil understands it - he’s taken classes in ASL, just for kicks.

Roman knows very little sign, but he learned a couple of phrases. Sorry!

Virgil adds, It was our fault, we weren't watching.

Virgil recognizes the starry-eyed look on his brother's face. It's yet another Infatuation At First Sight, where he throws his whole heart into hoping. 

"Vee, Vee, ask him his name please?" he says, smiling for all he's worth at the curly-haired man in front of him.

Before Virgil gets a chance, he sees the man's eyes flick up and past them, and he breaks into a sunny smile. (Virgil might actually understand his brother's infatuation, for once)

Another person comes over, holding two ice creams. Virgil does a slight double-take. Like him, this newcomer chooses not to show very much skin. But they've covered even their hands. Ice cream somehow looks funny in a gloved hand.

Handing one to the first man, they start signing with one hand, far faster than he can follow. He catches a couple of signs he recognizes - gestures to himself & Roman, are you okay, something that either is we're late or shoo.

The first man is still smiling, though, and whatever he says must be okay, because the newcomer turns to them. They speak with a lilting accent, something not quite Parisian. "Please forgive my barging in- I can't exactly call for Patton from across the walkway.  My name is Dante. And you are?"

"I'm Roman, and this is Virgil, and it is wonderful to meet you!"

Virgil signs along with his brother's words, and sees Patton's eyes crinkle happily as he greets them both.

Roman has clearly also noticed Dante's gloves, but turns to Patton. With a slight bit of hesitation, he speaks and signs at once, "May I shake your hand?"

Virgil is sure he's not imagining the minute pursing of Dante's lips, but Patton's nodding and reaching out and so is Roman.

Roman is clearly holding his breath, and Virgil is too, both braced for opposite outcomes. But Patton's small, tan hand is wrapped in Roman's larger one and both sets of eyes are huge. 

Virgil's eyes flick to Roman's bicep, exposed as always, the white mark a stark contrast to his dark skin, looking like a sun or maybe a flower and-

"Holy shit-" Virgil breathes.

Roman, however, is not looking at his arm. He's staring directly into Patton's dark eyes with a smile that looks confused and elated all at once, and their hands haven't parted. 

Patton's eyes are just a huge, even huger thanks to his glasses.

"It's you," Roman says, wonder in his voice. Patton seems to read his lips, because he smiles somehow even bigger than before and signs It's you! back.

And sure enough, the mark on Roman's arm is a full circle, a full sun or flower, and Virgil's head is reeling.

Virgil's not sure what to say- the two soulmates seem content to keep staring and smiling and holding hands. But Virgil's just... nervous. Soulmate or not, this ‘Patton’ is a stranger, but Roman looks like he might never move from his side. Fuck, they can't even communicate both ways, Roman knows practically no sign and he just used up the only full sentence he’s ever learned.

He looks nervously at Patton's companion. Dante is staring too, seemingly unaware of the ice cream dripping down their glove.

Dante starts to sign something, realizes Patton can't see them, reaches out to tap Patton on the shoulder, then stops before they can touch, hand falling to their side. They look down and finally notice their ice cream, and blanch, pulling out napkins to clean their glove before it stains.

Virgil digs into his knapsack and pulls out a wet wipe and offers it. "This might help more."

Dante looks up, staring at Virgil without a shred of comprehension until Virgil waves the wipe once more. They take it with a quiet, "Merci."

They turn away, wiping off their glove and tossing the rest of their ice cream into the trash. They wiggle their fingers, clearly uncomfortable with the damp fabric. 

Virgil shifts awkwardly. He should say something, but what do you even say in this situation? He has no idea what their relation is to Pat- oh fuck, what if they were dating and Roman's just swooped in and ruined it?

In his tried-and-true method of awkward small talk with new roadies in new cities, he says, in French, "So, Paris, yeah? Know any good cafes near here?"

Dante shakes themself a bit and turns to look at Virgil. "Ah, yes. There's a patisserie just on the next block. Shall we relocate them and stop blocking the tourists?"

Virgil nods and looks over at his brother. He weighs his options of interruption, and decides on flicking Roman in the temple.

"Ow! Fuck! Vee!?!"

"You're blocking traffic, dumbass."

"I'm having a moment."

"Well come have a mocha. You can keep having your moment and I can have coffee. C'mon." 

He sees Dante signing to Patton too, explaining the plan but much more politely. Roman and Patton continue holding hands, but follow them down the block.

They get Roman and Patton sitting at a table in a picturesque cafe, and walk to the bar to order. Virgil orders his go-to of a double shot and gets Roman his mocha. Dante orders themself a latte and a vanilla cappuccino for Patton. Sitting at the bar waiting, Virgil looks over.

"So. That lunkhead over there is my brother."

Dante nods. "And Patton is my. Well. You might not know what it means, so don't immediately freak out, okay? But it's called a queerplatonic partner."

Virgil can feel the nervousness melt away. "Oh, phew. Yeah, I know what it means. So Roman's not homewrecking by being a discovered soulmate?"

"Well. I certainly hope not. But I know not everyone really, uh. Gets it. Especially with the soulmate sh- stuff. Things."

Virgil grins. "You were about to say soulmate shit, weren't you."

"...No."

"You're a terrible liar."

Dante winks. "I might surprise you."

Virgil raises an eyebrow. "Oh that's how we're gonna play it?"

"I don't play, monsieur. I just win."

"Okay then, here's a test. Why the gloves?"

Dante automatically goes to adjust them, and looks up at Virgil. Their eyes drift down to his hoodie and back up. "I think you know exactly why."

"You don't have-?"

"Nope. I don't have one either."

"I thought I was-"

"The only one?"

"Apparently not."

Virgil looks over at Patton, sitting with Roman. They don't seem to be even attempting to talk still, just staring and holding hands.

"With the QPP- are you aromantic? Do you think that's why?" He gestures vaguely at their whole body, but he’s never been quite as elegant in his gestures as Roman is.

Dante opens their mouth to speak, but stops, and sighs. "That's what I've been saying. It was easier, to say maybe this was for a purpose. And I do love Patton with all my platonic heart and I will kill your brother if he hurts him."

"The feeling’s mutual."

"But, no. I'm not fully aro. I still have romantic attraction and all that, I've just been guaranteed that even if I want it, I'll always be someone's secondary love so. Might as well lean in, right? Make the system work somewhat in my favor?"

Virgil opens his mouth to respond, to object, when the barista calls out their drinks, and then they're carefully carrying full mugs across the cafe and finding a table next to the couple.

Patton appears to be teaching Roman how to sign his name. Roman is even managing to pay attention.

"I get that, uh, reluctance. The playing-it-safe thing," Virgil says quietly, so only Dante can hear. "We travel a lot. That's a good excuse to avoid the whole fucking system. No conversations about who'll leave who when the mark shows up, because I'll be leaving in a month, tops. And people looking for hookups barely poke you to check for the mark before just... getting on with life. No expectations, no holding their breath or unrealistic disappointment."

Dante smiles weakly. "Well, good to know for when I need to start dating. I think I'm about to have a lot more free time."

"Until Roman needs to travel on again. We're here for three full weeks, but-"

"What is it you do, that you both travel so much?"

"You know Sun Prince, the singer?"

"Yeah?"

"You're looking at him," Virgil says wryly, tipping his head in Roman's direction.

Dante's eyes go wide. "Oh, that's why he looks familiar."

"So Patton probably didn’t recognize him either?"

"Nah, he tends to like EDM and electronic things the most, for the bassline. Clubbing with a deaf partner is great - the priority is just feeling the music, and we don't have to yell to hear each other."

Virgil and Dante continue to chat quietly on casual topics, but Virgil's leg is bouncing. He wants to ask the bigger questions, but it feel like prying. It's none of his business, really, right? 

But it's Roman's happiness on the line. And Virgil will do anything and everything to protect his brother. Even if it means awkwardness.

"So, uh. Did y'all have the Conversation™️ before now?"

Dante raises a questioning eyebrow in response.

"The 'what happens if he meets his soulmate' conversation. Don't tell me Pat's the only one you've ever dated?"

Dante blinks in a way that implies that were they a lesser being, they might have blushed. "Actually, he is. But yes, we've had that conversation. I'll never get in the way of Pat's romantic love and his soulmate… destiny, ou comme tu veux. I just want to still have a part in his life."

They're tugging at their gloves again, even though their face remains smooth. Virgil recognizes a nervous tic when he sees one. And god does he recognize the sentiment.

Not that any of his past partners had ever wanted to stick around in return. Why would they? He wasn't their soulmate. They hadn't decided to "settle" yet.

"I can't speak for him, but- I think Roman will be open to that," Virgil offers. "He loves performing, so we'll probably still be traveling a fair amount. But I mean. I think he'd understand that you two are a unit the same way me and him are. Like, yeah, we're brothers, but we've been each other's lifeline our whole lives, and that's not about to change. Even if he's finally found his Other Half."

Dante looks up gratefully. "I can tell you love him. And- I hope you're right."

"I should be. If Roman's a dick about it, I'll smack him upside the head."

That surprises a laugh out of Dante. They finally pull off their glove entirely, shaking it out and letting it dry on the table. "I won't interfere with them, you'll encourage Roman to not interfere with us. Do we have a deal, then?"

They offer their bare hand to shake. For once, Virgil doesn't hesitate, but takes it immediately.

Skin hits skin. Virgil finds an agreeable little shudder running down his spine as he appreciates for the first time how attractive this person is. Elegant chestnut curls, heterochromatic eyes that are dancing with delight, and disarming smile. 

Dante winks as they withdraw their hand. "What, not going to check for your completed mark now, just in case?"

Virgil grins back. "No, but I can help you look for yours later, if you want."

"Is that a proposition? Monsieur, goodness, you move fast," Dante replies, fluttering their eyelashes.

Virgil shrugs. "It could be one. You know, we're clearly gonna be around each other a lot. They found each other the old fashioned way. Maybe we could try something a bit... less traditional."

Dante smiles. "I'd like that a lot, Virgil. Should we break into cloud nine over there and ask them about the future now?"

Virgil nods. Soulmark or not, the future's looking pretty good.

tag list: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt ​@thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @hawthornshadow @mariniacipher and obligatory royality tag @notveryglittery and anxceit tag @vintage-squid

[yumikan]

[Scout Story] Dance Floor (Slow Step/Epilogue) END

Make sure you read my note and about first~ ^^

-Karaoke Box-

Wataru

Well well, today was fun! We’ve played so much~☆

Eichi

Fufu. You were frolicking around a lot, Wataru. If work isn’t busy, shall we play like this again once in a while?

Wataru

Do we have such time to spare?

We’ve left “SS” in Trickstar hands, but we can’t leave those unstable kids alone, right~?

We still need to protect those children, don’t we?

Also, we’ll be occupied with overseas tour and such from now on……

Because of someone’s fault, we must bring order to the desolated sister schools of Yumenosaki Gakuen around the world[1]

Eichi

Fufu.  Sakuma-kun and Mikejima-kun[2] have at least maintained the status quo, though

I’m sure that each of them has their own limit, so I guess we must do structural reform here and there

For the future of idol industry

Wataru

Fufufu. So, you’re going around doing Annunciation and bring forth a lot of Messiah[3]

That’s our, “fine’s” role, as modern angel, right?

Eichi

Exactly. It’s going to be busier from now on, Wataru. …… Will you come along?

Wataru

Certainly. Even if you don’t force me to come along, we’ll walk close to each other…… Eichi

Please entertain me from hereon too, I’m looking forward to it from the bottom of my heart

Eichi

That’s my line, Wataru

Yuzuru

Both of you, I’m sorry for disturbing when you’re bringing about the mood like the world belong to the two of you……

However, Bocchama is singing. So, please root for him

While singing, seems like he will also perform the “original dance”. It would be great if you watch him and give proper evaluation

Eichi

Yes. Since that was our objective today, I’ll fulfill my role until the end

Wataru

Clap clap clap! Himegimi~, please shine as bright as you want☆

Tori

Y, yeah. Is it alright, though? You even tag along to karaoke……

Just a little bit more and I’ll complete the “original dance”, I want to reach a conclusion

Since long before, karaoke place has been my place to have lesson……

But today everyone is tired, right? We’re playing around a lot, after all

Eichi

Since we insert a moderate rest in between, I’m fine. I’m a bit worried about Wataru, though

Wataru

Oya oya? I wonder what you’re talking about, I’m always full of energy! Since I’m a superhuman who carry perpetual motion of dream in his heart……☆

Eichi

You don’t need to act strong in front of us. That’s a bit lonely……

This time we’re solving Tori’s worry but whenever someone have any problem, I hope you will share it to us

After all, we’re friends. It’s different to the old “fine”, where we have business-like relation

Like family, we’re a community that support each other in sickness and in health

In summertime, my stamina drop considerably and my physical condition is prone to collapse

Wataru take such me into consideration and work too hard to assist me and show as if it isn’t different than usual

Do you think that I didn’t realize?

For that means, you used up all of your energy and that’s why you, for once…… were nodding off and found out by Tori, isn’t that right?

You’re also a human. Your stamina have limit. In this world that is ruled by laws of physics, thing such as perpetual motion is just a pipe dream

You don’t need to live while producing such play where you put on airs even to your friends

Wataru

Am I perhaps being scolded right now?

Eichi

I’m just annoyed at my own worthlessness…… Because of my weak constitution, I put a burden on you

That’s just so shameful and upsetting, I’m fed up with it

Wataru

I’m doing it because I want it, you know

I’m just returning your word, but we’re a community that support and love each other. Whenever someone is losing their vigor, I…… will behave vigorously twofold

With that, “fine” can exhibit its steady output

That’s what “unit” for, isn’t it? We’re not gathering to hold each other back

I consent with it, I’m living a satisfying life. Therefore, please don’t make such face

Eichi

I’m no match for you…… I want to show off in front of my juniors for once, so don’t treat me like a kid too much

Wataru

Okay, I get it. Leaving that aside, Himegimi’s song is starting! Clap clap clap clap☆

Please do your best Himegimi~, please show us your cute side!

It’s my first time at karaoke so I’m excited……!

Eichi

Is that true? I used to avoid and pass through it, so this is my first experience too, I don’t know the proper etiquette for it……

Is it alright to use this tambourine and maracas as we please?

Wataru

Fufufu. Anzu-san seems to be well informed of it. After all, she was a normal girl until recently……

I see, so we order drink and such with this telephone?

Eichi

Hee, what a polished system. Today is my treat, sing, drink, and eat a lot

…… U~n. But somehow, the menu is full of thing that are bad for your health

Wataru

Shall we ignore the food and just sing here?

Aa but, I ardently interested in this mysterious sweet object that is like a composite of art……☆

Eichi

Eh, what’s that? It’s very interesting, show me, let me see

…… Oh, just looking at the photo make me have heartburn

Tori

♪~♪~♪

Wataru

Ah, the song has started and Himegimi start singing little by little!

Let’s do an interjection, Eichi♪

Tori

Aa no, it’s not a live, you know……

It’s okay to pay no attention and order some drinks or have idle talk. Please be carefree~♪

Ehehe. I’m happy that I can do a karaoke with member of “fine”

You always seem so gracious…… But only for today, I feel like becoming closer to everyone

Tori

Playing together, having foolish talk, and karaoke at the end…… It’s like you’re a normal high school student friend

It’s like a dream, since “fine” has always been my aspiration

Eichi

If you say things like that, it makes me feel rewarded. That’s a wonderful smile, Tori

Yuzuru

Fufu. Bocchama likes karaoke so much, after all

To become the idol, “fine”, which he aspires, there’s no suitable environment at home to practice singing and such

So, we would occasionally sneak away from the estate to sing and dance at the karaoke

This was before the equipment like karaoke room or such is arranged at home, it’s before we enter the school

It was a nice breather for Bocchama who was busy with his practice and social life

Tori

Yeah! As expected, singing and dancing is simply fun……☆

The “original dance” class, I don’t know whether I can do it well or no. Maybe I’ll fail miserably in shame and everyone will make fun of me

But this experience surely won’t be in vain. I believe that

This is what you call “feeling of want to break into dance”, I’m “fine” thank you……☆

Wataru

Ahaha. So cute…… It’s a pleasant to have someone who adores you. It’s almost makes me envious, Eichi

Eichi

Is that so. But it’s also because of you that Tori chase after me. Since I’m always yearning for you and work hard to become closer to you

That day……

I’m always worrying about whether letting go of my future where I go together with Tsumugi to karaoke as normal high school student is the right choice or no

If I would arrive in future such as this, I think I can face my former friend who I hurt and atone for it

It won’t erase my feeling of sorry or feeling of guilty, though

I will swallow it and keep moving forward. Slowly, one step at a time

Wataru

Yes. Let’s walk together, to the promising future

Playing at the park, singing at karaoke……

Let’s gather what we lost when we were young and turn it into our nourishment, then become an adult who can puffed up with pride to children of next era

Slow and steady[4], we’ll do it while having fun

Aa Eichi, this is the paradise of earth

 [1] I think it was mentioned in Element - Ash Returns to the Sky 3, yeah Wataru’s being sarcastic to Eichi XD

[2] While Rei’s deed was mentioned in Element, Madara as his successor is mentioned in Purple Wisterias of May - Chapter 8 and some other stories

[3] They use Bible reference. Annunciation describes the moment when angel Gabriel appeared and told Mary that she would bear the savior, Jesus Christ.

[4] This line “急がず焦らず” is what Kanata often said

[stickykeys633]

Changing thing up a bit @capricornsicle, that other post was becoming unwieldy.

You think you’re on a crusade to expose fandom racism and bias in Teen Wolf, but in doing so, because TW is such a specific beast, you make assumptions and add unnecessary hyperbole to your arguments. 

You’ve assumed and ran with the idea that I’m white (many do, which is strange since my icon is a black woman) and you’ve treated me a certain way because of it. But then in the same breath you’ll say there’s inherent bias against Scott McCall, a character that many people saw as white played by an actor who is white passing. 

There’s also this underlying statement that any majority of people see Scott as Latinx and automatically make it a negative thing which again, isn’t true, specifically not in Teen Wolf. 

I’ve found the antis like to take black racism experiences and try to fit Scott into that category, but even a small thing like colorism makes it so it’s not equitable. 

that’s a general statement about fans and critics alike holding characters of color up to a higher standard than white characters. It’s not everyone, it’s certainly not an attack on anyone, but it happens a lot, across various fandoms. White characters are much more often forgiven for the things they do than characters of color who do the same things.

This doesn’t happen with the frequency you think and in the Teen Wolf fandom when it does happen it is rarely if ever in regards to Scott. Other, more evident characters of color yes.. And the wild examples that the antis present are never equitable. Even when presented with context, they often have to padd it and stretch it to make it seem like some infraction has been done. What it does is seek to absolve Scott of ANY wrong doing, when really there is fault laid at both parties. 

I’ll provide a couple of examples in the moment, but the bottom like is that Stiles/Derek/Peter stans acknowledge their faults and many times love them because of it. On the show Scott was never given the chance to acknowledge his faults, the show refused to admit that he needed to grow and be redeemed of anything. This was a misstep because he became unpalatable, not as a perfect icon, but as someone whose actions didn’t hold relevant consequences. 

The Donovan Incident

Now, I disagree with some key points, but overall I think this is the most important part:

They fought, like teenagers do, especially teenagers who have gone through that kind of trauma, and then, in 5x13, they’re talking outside a gas station, and they talk and get over it,

If everyone could agree that this happened, this would be a much better place. But antis will not chalk up the experience for the contrived nonsense it was and become so enraged when people blame Scott that they can’t let it be and suddenly we’re all racists. 

Which, using racism as a tool to sooth butthurt is not okay and we see it time and time again. They take every seedling and think, “how can I add racism to this so I get my way?” which is pathetic, but also sullies the impact of real racism on the show. 

During this time Tracey was murdered, Mason was non-existent, they killed Noah and Lucas sent Kira to the desert and left her there. But being mad at Scott for intentionally misunderstanding Stiles is what’s racist? This is why antis and SDP Stans constantly bump heads. Everyone has been in a friend group where some new interloper comes in and riles things up. Usually trying to steal someone’s man, but you know there are certain things you do when that happens and Scott made ALL the wrong moves. He knew Stiles didn’t trust Theo and openly disliked him, it should have been an immediate red flag when Theo started in with Stiles violently killing someone in cold blood. Additionally, I would have LOVED if the show made the connection to Scott still being traumatized by Nogi, but again, the show made it seem like Scott was JUST FINE! and again, a disservice was made to his character. 

The point is that a not insignificant number of fans label Scott as a constant bad friend, as someone who’s always a bad influence on Stiles, and that’s really not the case.

People who label him as a constant bad friend use this as ONE example of it. I actually questioned their friendship after Motel California. I remember there were a couple of beats that made it clear they weren’t sandbox buddies, and probably met in the community little league (was it little league or soccer that they met Theo? I forget?). There have been several instances of them not being as close as they claimed. 

If Stiles can be forgiven for throwing lacrosse balls at Scott (which really fucking hurt, speaking from experience) and keying some random loner kids’ car to get him beat up because Lydia kissed him

Just a side note, Stiles was havign his fun, yes, but Scott was completely complicit in these scenes and knew 100% what was going on. Stiles was helping Scott by testing his tolerance and helping him control his heartbeat and yes they did it in bonehead teenage boy ways, but there was nothing malicious or racially motivated about it. Talk about holding characters to different levels. You’ve all made the white characters irredeemable supremacists when nothing in the canon alludes to this. 

a few antis forgive Stiles but condemn Scott. And that’s because of racial bias that makes those particular antis hold Scott to much higher standards than his white friends, which is a nice way of saying it’s racism.

Which again, is wrong in that you have absolutely no way of quantifying this for every viewer. There’s no such thing as special Scott centric racism. If someone is racist, they’re going to show it against anyone not white on the show, and that’s simply a) not the case and b) impossible to determine from the asks of one anon and some misinterpreted fic. 

Liking Scott isn’t pro-POC, no, but it is tied to racial issues in Hollywood, popular media, and fandom. Scott being Latinx (despite the fact it never comes up, he’s played by a Latinx actor and is undoubtedly TV’s favorite “ambiguously brown”) makes him connected to racial issues.

But it doesn’t, because Teen Wolf was specifically created as a world without color so coding Scott as race-neutral meant that audiences had the choice to view him that way and many did. I mean, look at the show, he has two white Italian actors playing his parents, his last name is McCall and his mother’s maiden name was Delgado which could mean anything. Jeff had a habit of casting white women with Latinx last names they got from a gracious step-father, it’s not a leap to say this was true of Melissa. This is why I refuse to give the show any representation points. Diversity sure, they’re there, but they’re not well represented and again, this neither starts nor ends with Scott McCall. 

Liking Scott is something that a lot of viewers of color end up doing

Again, not entirely true. Liking Boyd? Yes. Deaton, Morrell, Kira? Yes. Scott? Sure... the response to Scott from Latinx fans was varied in interesting ways. Some went up hard for him and while I don’t acknowledge the show’s version of Scott, I write him as half Mexican in every fic. There are some who, like you, were so excited to see someone like themselves and that’s beautiful and awesome. There were also some that started excited but then were like “oh, he’s playing a white boy” which people like to forget was VERY much a thing. There was no reason to think Scott was white and in fact when Jeff received the Alma award, it was for casting Posey and not necessarily having a Latinx character. In the beginning of Teen Wolf he was actually asked if Scott was white (the phrase they used was “All American” which...), And there were still others who hated Scott instantly and thought he was wack and did NOT see themselves in him.

So even within the Latinx community alone there were several opinions. Now spread that out to hundreds of thousands and then millions of viewers. So when you say “Liking Scott is something a lot of VOC end up doing” you’re creating a value based judgement on the idea of liking YOUR version of Scott McCall. 

Which isn’t fair and isn’t correct. 

YOU ended up liking Scott because YOU appreciated the interpretation. No one can take that away from you. But when you cast this net of racism, you’re gonna end up with a lot of things that don’t fit the term and a lot of people mad that they’re caught in your web of racial bias. 

if it’s the burden of POC to fight for representation tooth and nail, then that’s the fight I’ll be fighting.

Part of it is that sometimes I worry that if I don’t post about them, if I don’t post gifs of them and talk about them and make them be part of the teen wolf tag on this site, no one else is going to.

We talked about this with your first post. Generally I’m sympathetic, but I do take issue with your methods. Yes, I’ve seen those gif tax posts and I love the concept, but... tax is something you pay in the exchange for something that you want. I don’t see POC characters as tax and I get it’s just a clever way to name what you’re doing, but I think it makes it so negative when celebrating the POC characters should be an enjoyable and inclusive thing. 

If you feel alone, it’s because you haven’t reached out to anyone. I know a lot of creators who make content for characters of color, The problem is that when you accuse people of focusing on white characters in a show FULL of white characters and cover them with a blanket of systemic bias, you’re alienating a lot of people who don’t want the drama. 

Someone just released some ao3 stats of POC characters in Sterek fics verses TW fics as a whole and Kira was sadly underrepresented, showing up in just under 45% of fics. My answer to that isn’t to scream at Stereks about how racist they are against Asians. Instead, I wanna have a Kira appreciation event, but until I can, I make sure to write Kira into my fics because I love her. I repost gifsets with her in them, I comment and seek out people who create for her and support them and if you approach some creators, the’re happy to be amenable. I’ve left comments on fics asking for a certain character and sometimes they rightfully say no, but sometimes it’s not a problem and the change is awesome. 

I feel like the bulk of antis have an idea in their mind and don’t give anyone else a freaking chance. And then, when anything negative is said about Scott, they go awf like SEE!!?!> RACISM!!!!!! when it’s honestly not the case. The anon doesn’t represent even the minority of the majority of stereks. Tumblr doesn’t, ao3 doesn’t, twitter doesn’t. That’s why it’s so much less stressful to find out ways to insert diversity and representation rather than browbeating others to do it out of shame.  

There’s this perceived bias that worms it’s way in that simply doesn’t exist at the levels you think it does. Because not only are you assuming that people dislike the characters of color because of their color, but also that they harbor negative feelings.

But, as we’ve learned from K-pop fans, it seems white people are much more willing to enjoy and put out East Asian representation than representation of people darker than them

Kira was undoubtedly brought in to bring a more Asian audience, but again, racism isn’t a pick and choose kind of thing. People who hated Kira and love Scott do not see Scott as Latinx. And Kira has more posts by a small margin mostly because she was there and she had a family and large ties to the plot. Not because kids loves k-pop (which wasn’t even that big during her run). 

And THIS:

Boyd is stereotyped as the big, buff Black guy who’s aggressive and athletic (but almost never seen as the brains of the group, despite his intelligence,xxx and comes from a poor background and answers to an assertive white man without question

Boyd was specifically not stereotypes as aggressive and athletic, and in all fanfic is usually the one who reasons and is most level headed. He came from a poor background, but so did Isaac, and he questioned Derek and Scott. This is what I mean, while I agree that it’s your interpretation, you can’t say it’s a universal interpretation and then judge others because of it. 

The only time I care is when people specifically dislike Scott because of perceived affronts to Stiles and/or Derek, and I say “perceived” because I refer specifically to ones those specific anons and antis take completely out of context, blow out of proportion, or just make up.

Lol, again, your perception, because I can give you several canon based reasons to be upset with Scott, but of course you’ll find a way, no matter how tangential to twist it, because he’s your fave and canon is a mess. This is the freaking point. Let people have their stories. It’s not hurting you if you also add in yours. 

I do not believe it is possible for a 16-year-old to consent to a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a 24/25-year-old, but this post isn’t about that

Please don’t believe that you’re the first person to try this argument because you’re not and also Derek was at most 23 when Stiles was 17 (and to make it more interesting he was 19 in the original unaired pilot, but they aged him up so Kate wouldn’t be full on statutory rape, good times!)

https://stickylovessterek.tumblr.com/post/151831687742/sterek-is-not-pedophilia

Now you might not like it, and that’s totally fine and valid. But age has no basis in their relationship. I’m more interested in power dynamics, which is why I didn’t like Aria/Fitz on PLL or Marrish (which I could have been on board for, but this show is trash). 

with perhaps me as Stiles, you as Scott, and the anon playing Theo during his villain phase circa season 5, trying to turn two people against each other over a larger ethics debate

Well, no, clearly I’m the Stiles since I’m right (i kid, I kid), but honestly, you’re the one putting the anon in this. I’ve been ignoring their hyperbole and we’ve been telling the antis to pick and choose and be discerning with their posts. That has nothing to do with me. If we’re Scott and Stiles then it’s one of us talking and the other not listening and doing theings they’re own way and the fact that both of us have different ideas as to which is which is really part of the fun. 

But it’s not racism. 

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: Round... uh... 5, 6, & 7?

I got tagged by a bunch of people ( @quilloftheclouds is this how your 77 question one felt??) so here are a bunch of answers! I think this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself in my life. 

Good gracious, you’re all so nice and have such good questions.

Tagged by: @surroundedbypearls, @waterfallwritings, @bigmoodword, @sundaynightnovels

Rules: answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, give them 11 new questions!

[I’ve done this enough to be able to break the tag rules. Fight me.]

44 questions and answers below the cut!

But I’ll be nice and put my questions right here:

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

When do you title your WIPs? It is the first thing you do? The last? Does it come to you during drafting?

How many inside jokes do you put in your WIP(s)?

Your WIP’s antagonist is now The Riddler. How do your OCs handle that?

Do you use sticky notes?

Laptop or desktop?

Your OC is a wrestler. What’s their hype music?

Do you own any craft books/books on writing?

What’s your favorite book cover?

How many unread books do you have sitting around right now? Which are you most excited to maybe get to eventually some time?

How committed are you to your outline(s)?

Bilbo Taggins: Literally anyone, but also @francestroublr, @sahados-shadow, @a-story-im-writing, @bethkerring, @citruschickadee, @bos-ingit

If I’ve tagged you before, you can totally ignore this. In fact, I encourage you to.

From @surroundedbypearls:

What’s your favourite genre to write in and why? Literary fiction! It’s what I learned in university and the one that fits my themes best. Sci-fi is hard, I’m just getting into writing fantasy stuff, I can’t do thrillers, romance is hard for me, and historical is too much work.

Do you think you have a style/voice that you use more often in your writing? When did you develop that style? If you’ve read one of my stories, you know exactly how my writing voice sounds. It doesn’t change too much. I write like I talk, but if I had a lot more gravitas and charisma. Honestly, I’ve always had that kind of style, but it really developed in high school. It’s been getting stronger since then. It’s one of the things I always got comments about from my teachers and fellow workshop writers. “Your voice is so strong!” Yep. It’s mah thang.

Do you play video games? What’s your favourite? YES I DO. It’s hard to pick faves, but I’ve played Dragon Age: Origins too many times. 

If you were going to do a WIP crossover, which OCs would be most interesting together? (If you’ve only got one WIP crossover with something else) A crossover between H2H and AOPC? Interesting. I think Mel and Keema would get along the best, Oz would have some fightin’ words for Elder Sanga, and Gemma and Teva would be a force to be reckoned with, my god. Two stubborn nerds who believe totally different things but are also very determined to be very good at what they want to do and love their communities to a fault? Fear them.

Do you prefer to plan WIPs in a document or through handwritten notes? I used to do it by hand but I couldn’t read it because my handwriting is terrible and I kept losing papers. I do it in docs now. Much easier to organize and incredibly legible.

Do you multiple languages exist in your WIP? If so how do you address that in the story? H2H is set in the “real world,” so yep. It hasn’t been addressed too much yet, but I have a way for tackling languages. I’ve written multilingual-ish stories before. I never write phonetically and use hella context clues so the reader knows the gist of what was said if another character doesn’t translate.

What’s your favourite animated film that’s not Disney or Pixar? AN AMERICAN TAIL. All of them. It’s on Netflix go watch it and marvel at the way a kids movie talks about Jewish immigration, poverty, and cultural oppression via mice. As a young Jewish child, this movie was my jam. It’s very dark, though.

Do your real-life surroundings influence your WIP’s settings? Nope! One time I tried to write a story set in the same area where I lived and I couldn’t do it. Too weird. Sometimes I’ll write in an item I see near me, or like, a painting or poster on the wall if I need some set decoration, but that’s about it.

Which OCs would be most likely to break the fourth wall? Oz. Lookin’ at the camera like he’s in The Office.

How do you work out your OCs’ personalities? Hm. I look at the story I’m trying to write and make a protagonist that would have the most interesting experience in that narrative. For H2H, I wanted someone who would be loyal as heck to the people they loved while still being experimental enough to try new things and get into shenanigans. The story called for someone like that, and there she was. Mel came about my thinking of someone who would compliment other characters in the story while still being their own person. If that makes sense. I think of dynamics and interactions with the story world in relation to the theme(s). Most of the time they just happen, though.

Do you prefer worldbuilding or character building? Character building! As much as I like making stories about places, making characters is more fun for me, and more interesting. You should see all the DnD character sheets I have. 

From @waterfallwritings:

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

At random. Seriously. It’s like my brain has to be running something in the background to function normally, and usually that something is whatever story I happen to be working on. Or I’ll look at a thing and go “huh.” My brain also likes to twist normal things to be a little bit different.

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

No idea, man. It’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I like to work backwards. If this is what I want to happen, what needs to happen before that to ensure that it occurs? I look at all the elements currently in the story and see if one can be manipulated to fill in the hole.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

If I don’t, my brain gets all constipated and angry until I write something down. Like, seriously, I get grumpy and frustrated like I’m hangry or something. Aside from physical need, I love writing. I love word puzzles and feelings puzzles and figuring them out. Sometimes I think of how my stories could help someone, or make them feel something that they enjoy. 

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

Oh, man, I’ve done it all. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, video game-ish writing, interactive storytelling, short stories, flash fiction, proposals, essays, DnD campaigns, monologues... You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I tend to stick to prose and poetry these days.

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

I’ve gotten into graphic design a little bit. I kind of wanna learn how to knit again. I’m not really very crafty. 

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

Write a different scene, stare at the screen in frustration until I give up and go to sleep, meditate for a few minutes, go do something else to get my mind off of it, clean, work on a different project.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

I mean, see the next question for part of my answer. How did I decide to end H2H? My friend, that’s a big ‘ole spoiler. But I decided to end it at a place where everything, and everyone, comes together.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Right at the beginning. If I don’t know where it’ll end, I have a hard time writing the arc. I work backwards: start with the idea, then think of where I want it to end up, then work back to the beginning until I know where its going, then start writing.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

My reasons are pretty personal, but the least personal is that I needed some accountability and motivation. And I missed being in a good writing community.

10. What’s your favourite food?

Pasta! I’m eating spaghetti right now.

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

Oz would be the most tragic. Treena would be the most logical. 

From @bigmoodword:

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Nerdy potion woman meets cute odd stranger who helps her solve magic mysteries in their quirky small town.

2. what inspired them?

I saw a zine accepting submissions for magic stories, then an open call for queer shifter stories, and thought “what if wholesome magical lesbians?”

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

Gemma!

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

THE SONG OF ACHILLES.  My God, my soul was weeping. Honestly, it still is. Doesn’t matter that I knew the story from the Iliad. Madeline Miller is a feelings wizard.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

On an as-needed basis. I used to do way too much research to avoid actually writing the damn thing, so now I only do it when I actually run into a problem that can be solved by Google.

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

The ones that aren’t hugely emotional. Which is... unfortunate.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Rude. On a personal level, Jill. I love her, but I would not be friends with her. We wouldn’t mesh at all.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

Third person limited present tense! To the bane of everyone who’s ever edited my work.

9. do you write poetry?

I do! Not often, though.

10. who is your writing role model?

My freakin’ writing professor from college. He is crazy disciplined.

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

Hey, you know those people who say your writing is too dark? Yeah, they suck and they’re wrong. They just want kids to live up to their expectations and write happy sunshiny stories about unicorns and dinosaurs having ice cream. And you’re not depressed because you wrote that one sad poem one time and someone asked if you were depressed. What you have is called feelings and they’re very useful for a writer, nay, a human, to have.

From @sundaynightnovels:

Who is your biggest role model? Okay, so I got crap all the time in grade school for never having a role model, and I still don’t have one. The teachers were concerned about me. But my reasoning was, “why should I want to live someone else’s life?” Yeah. They didn’t really know what to do with that...

What are your OCs favorite foods? Sort of answered here!

Which OC is most afraid of the dark? Oz and Mary!

What made you want to start a writing blog/participate in the writeblr community? Answered above!

Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a kid? Do you still? I did, indeed. I don’t anymore, but I have two that I shuffle around my room when they get in the way. One is a highland cow I got in Scotland (he has a plaid hat), the other is a blue whale I got at the Museum of Natural History in NY.

Do you like donuts? I love donuts. Especially jelly filled ones. Mmm.

Do/would your OCs like donuts? All of my OCs like donuts. I don’t think Mel has ever had a modern one, though.

What is your least favorite food? Cauliflower? I’m the household taste-tester, so there’s been a lot of stuff I don’t like.  ( @sundaynightnovels I hate sparkling water, too, you’re not alone!)

What is your ideal writing environment? Comfy seating, a chair with no arms (stupid elbows), alone, plenty of chosen beverage within reach, headphones.

Favorite line from your WIP? So far, it’s this one!

Favorite quote from a book? Oh, man. There are so many. From recent memory, here are a few: “’Give it time,’ she replies. ‘It won’t be a story forever.’“  and “Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.” (both from The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy) “When he smiled, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled like a leaf held to flame.” and “I lean forward and our lips land clumsily on each other. They are like the fat bodies of bees, soft and round and giddy with pollen.” (I could write a goddamn essay about the imagery in this scene.) (It is quite possibly my favorite description of a kiss ever. And the metaphor extends through the rest of the scene so artfully��ugh.) (both from The Song of Achilles) “The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head.” (from The Things They Carried)

[dontknockitkid]

Farewell

You knew this one was coming haha

I never posted anything on social media about baseball being over for me because I didn’t want to accept it, acknowledge it, or over-romanticize the ending of a simple game for me.

But I will, however, write this;

These are my sentiments about a game that had an exceptional part in molding me into the man that I am today. I will never communicate anything like this again, unless it’s in person and verbal and only if someone asks.

Here i present to you, Chris Ramirez, the baseball player.

First and foremost, I feel the need to give the greatest gratitude and praises to God for blessing me through my baseball years without a debilitating injury. I never broke, severely strained, pulled, or tore anything in the 16 years of constant travel, overhead motions, conditioning, or weightlifting. I praise my almighty God for that absolute blessing. With saying that, I’m not talking down to anyone who has had one because I’ve realized how anxious it makes athletes as well as how much it affects their confidence, self-esteem, sense of worth, and identity. I truly feel for those who have been affected by the unforeseen traumas of athletics.

Now, for the tear-jerky portion of my outpouring.

My dad has told me that he wanted to sign me up to play little league baseball when I was younger, but my mom was opposed to the idea because she said it was dangerous and I might get hurt. My dad, being the person that he is, went on to sign me up at South Side Little League in south Oxnard, CA. I make sure to specify SOUTH Oxnard because it was the most rag-tag, blue-collared, league in Oxnard (in my opinion of course). Being in this league for the first couple years of baseball made me the humble, quiet player that I was because we always played (and were crushed) by the surrounding, more wealthier and supported, leagues. The best thing about my younger years (pre-high school), was the traveling. Specifically the long drives I had with my dad. We would drive 3-4 hours and basically spend the weekend together. We would wake up early, go to the nearest McDonald’s, and then head to the sports complex. Those are some of the moments, weekends, and trips that I will cherish the most regarding baseball because they constructed the relationship I came to have with my dad. My dad went to as many games as he could, but the majority of games I either had to hitch a ride with a coach or teammate, and he would show up whenever he was able to. Both my mom and dad have supported and been there for me after every great and terrible game to give their unique feedback (you sucked today but we still love you; keep fighting kid. You have unbelievable potential.) I held on to each and every pre- and post-game talk with my dad because above all else, he was PRESENT. He cared about what I had to say and how I felt about my performance, and he absolutely 100% knew that I cared what he saw or had to say (even though after the tough losses I acted like I didn’t want to hear anything from him at times, but like a young boy, I yearned for my father’s edification and approval). They provided the life and the beautiful days I would never EVER take back, and seeing them smile at me and say they’re proud of me when I didn’t get drafted, had my last start, and graduated college meant the entire world to me.

Now, while I’m talking about my family, I wanted to include a few words for the village that raised me.

These pictures are from my very last season of baseball, but it embodies the support I’ve received from my beautiful family. From fundraisers, to them traveling/camping overnight for several days to see me play (succeed, and sometimes really suck, which often made me really sad), I am forever grateful for their presence. My brothers, Angel and Kevin would often help me forget about a tough loss by providing laughs that turned into happy tears, as well as celebrating with me when I had a great game. Their hugs and affirming, congratulatory presence throughout my life have fueled me to be a respectable sibling. I have always wanted to make them proud of me. I value the photos we have together in our baseball uniforms growing up, as well as the ones we took when they came to visit and watch in Vegas and southern Cali. Even more so than the photos, the moments I was blessed to experience when I hugged them and told them that I loved them after a game or after having not seen them in months, are where my love during those years rests. Te quiero muchisimo mis hermanos. Cousins, Tia’s and Tio’s, family friends, who have housed me on my trips, and let me crash on the couch or guest bedroom for a night or two as I was making my way across the country or back home, I love you. You have no idea how grateful I am for your gracious hospitality. It is and always has been truly heartbreaking as a little kid knowing I wasn’t able to make a baseball trip because of insufficient funds. My parents have done everything that they could to make sure I was able to go to at least a couple trips growing up, and I tear up just thinking about how they made it all possible. I am so thankful for the limited opportunities because it made me appreciate each and every one of them a whole lot more. I love you, mi familia. Near and far, familial and friend.

I couldn’t write something like this without mentioning my coaches. The men (and their wives because if you know anything about coaching, it is a HUGE commitment and sometimes takes a toll on their families. So if any of my coaches’ wives read this, THANK YOU for being patient, kind, and supportive to the men that helped mold me physically, emotionally, and spiritually) that took their time showing me how to simply throw a small object wherever I wanted it to go with controlled aggression, allowed me to spend a good-sized portion of my life having the most fun I’ve had playing a little kid’s game.

I wanted to give a special and heartfelt thank you to my friend, brother in Christ, and former pitching coach Matt Merricks because he (by God’s wondrous grace) developed a form of pitching that incorporated your walk with Christ. Once I was saved by God and my world changed forever, I also became a different type of pitcher, and Matt was there to help refine the explosion of my new heart in Christ. Thank you forever Matt, you helped a young boy understand what it takes to heave a baseball and leave it up to God from there as soon as it left my fingertips, as well as doing the same in life.

To my amazing teammates:

To say you guys have changed my life would be the biggest understatement ever. My boys at Channel Islands and the surrounding high schools who I became so close with, you guys gave me afternoons worth enjoying. You made Oxnard and SoCal a place that tore my heart leaving, but oh so wonderful reflecting back on. If I wrote a small little paragraph for each person or year of baseball, this blog would span a lifetime haha, but I’ll keep it short and to the point.

Channel Islands: Jonny, Isaiah, Matt, Beto, Alfred, Ricky, Manny, Micah, Felipe, Greg, Miles, Anthony, Ray Ray, Leo, Wade, Josh, Stefon, and a few others who were my little tribe in high school: thank you for riding through it all with me. All the high school shenanigans, trouble-making, talks about girls, long days of practice and conditioning, were boosted to absolute nostalgia because of all of you. The memories jam packed at that one school and ball field, are some of my most cherished moments of my upbringing. People always say that you should go to college because those are supposedly the best years of your life, but in all honesty, these years are a definite close Second haha. I can still remember and feel the deep belly laughs at jack in the box, trips to fresh and easy, and countless other get-togethers I will not mention because some of my family might read this eventually hahaha

I love you, and I pray you all are doing well.

Colorado Northwestern:

A small junior college in Rangely, CO was the perfect place for my collegiate baseball career to kick into gear. Why? Because of these guys: Joe, Ricky, Alaska, Mikey, Cado, Nies, Chase, Trevar, Colin, Tanner, Riding, Hoff, Texas, the Woods brothers, Naus, Cory, and several others who brought seriously so much happiness to my days there. At a low point in my life, you guys helped keep me afloat by your jokes, brotherhood, invitations, inclusivity, and acceptance of a new direction I was going in life. You supported me, held me accountable at the late hours of the evenings, and poured into me when I really needed a laugh, friend, or a late night/early morning trip to Vernal or the gas station. The trips we took to the lake, the hikes behind the school, phenomenal bonfires at red rocks, runs up and down Kennedy, when we discovered the “rollercoaster”, and post-game dinners in the caf; dang, I freakin miss that small little school in that small little town.

If you didn’t see your name, don’t take it personally I promise. Even if you were only at that specific school for a couple weeks, you still were part of my experience and growth, and for that I am forever grateful for you all.

Mesa:

Finally, my Mesa family.

Not enough words could describe the absolute excitement and gratitude I had entering a program that was notorious for having a winning record, playing home games at the same stadium the junior college World Series is held, and where a minor league Colorado Rockies affiliate resides. I talked about the anticipation and excitement that was literally almost oozing out of me to every person that would listen, and I want to take a moment here and thank each person that listened to my gripes, groans, and endless soliloquys about a little boy’s dream coming true. You may not have known it at the time, but those moments and conversations built me up (or how us young people say it these days, “it HYPED ME UP”) and encouraged me to live up to the “hype” that I was giving myself haha

Colorado Mesa is where I bore my fruit; the fruit I had worked so endlessly for throughout my life. I was crafted and molded into the pitcher I would come to be my sophomore year at CNCC (and that summer), and CMU is where it all flourished. The grit was there; the motivation was there; the humility; the approach; the passion; the youthful zeal (you’re gonna hear me say that NUMEROUS times throughout my written pieces, so you better get familiar with it because it’s one of my favorite phrases). Everything was already in place, by God’s gracious love, and now it was time to showcase it. Soli Deo Gloria style. Coram Deo style.

Pitching at CMU was everything I’d hoped it would be and so much more. Having the opportunity to pitch in a rotation that included some of the best pitchers in the nation was a dream come true for a little kid from South Oxnard. My friends and roommates making their way over to the stadium on some Saturday or Sunday afternoon would come to be one of my favorite memories of putting on that creme colored jersey and doing what I loved. Now instead of making this a 55 page blog post, I’m just gonna talk about the memories that stand out the most:

I’ll start with the entire 2017 season. The 2017 season came with a ton of extraordinary moments, some of which I’ll go into a bit of detail soon, but it also came with devastating news that would lead to the season’s mantra and future banner of pride, brotherhood, and hardwork. A ball player and dear friend to many named Ryan Teixeira past away from his second battle with cancer. His wake and funeral services in California were unbelievably moving, and I couldn’t help but admire (and absolutely sob) on how unashamed of the gospel his family was at his funeral service. They were bold, broken, vulnerable, but stood firm on the promises of God. It was truly spectacular. May Ryan rest in glory.

I had the best year of baseball in 2017. Although my sophomore year at CNCC was super wonderful, I cannot compare the two as to which one was better than the other because each one was vastly different. At Mesa;

- I experienced a beautiful Friday night fireworks celebration after breaking a school win-streak. The stadium was as full as it ever had been while we were playing in it, and there was this aura of happiness and genuine enjoyment, regardless of wherever you were sitting (even in the visitor section). Fireworks and baseball have always been like peanut butter and jelly, ham and burger, salt and pepper, and tyga and Chris brown. 😂

- I flew for the first time (in a private airplane at that) to play in a regional tournament, as well as a D2 World Series. This playoff experience had me almost in tears thanking God for getting our team and I to that point in order for us to experience and excel in an environment like that. I pitched the BEST two games in my life that season (complete game shut-out against the #1 team in the region at their home field to eliminate them and send us to the championship, and a complete game win against the #1 team in the nation to eliminate them and send us to the semi-finals in the World Series).

Baseball is boring to a lot of people; I’ll admit I even think it’s boring sometimes, but I found an aspect that was worth cherishing the boredom forever. Through this game God gave me memories, friends for a lifetime, extreme frustration and anger, absolute joy and passion, and a love and appreciation for a game played by 4 year olds and 70 year olds. How amazing is that?

God, thank you for these years.

I will miss it forever.

[netrunnerconduit]

Smoke’s Last Show

The screen flicked from black to neon green mixed with pink. Smoke's logo, an obnoxious smiling face that turned to smoke, faded in on top of the garish background.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, bio-roids and clones, naturals and synthetics, and everyone in between. Welcome to tonight's episode of Net Mercur, the only show NBN doesn't want you to watch! We've got a very special program for you tonight. I, your gracious, magnanimous, and certainly clever host will be doing a live speedrun on Jack Weyland's private servers in outer space. We're going to be breaking laws and breaking hearts tonight, and I got a good feeling we'll break Mac's number one in the world record too. But first let's take a look at the rig I'll be using:”

Black again, then some lights coalesced into the wispy silhouette of a cat. “This lil' cutie is the first of my breakers, first in my heart, and first in this morning's Net Mercur Subscribers' poll as to what you wanted to see me use on this speedrun. Remember paid subscribers get exclusive access to all sorts of great bonus content, including these polls. Now this is something of a rescue I saved from some stimheads down in La Costa but let me tell you her code is robust. I've spent all afternoon tinkering with her I'm very excited to see what kind of damage this kitty can do now that I've reclawed her. She's certainly bad luck for any sysop that crosses her path.”

The cat on the screen growled and then pounced through the camera.

Next an explosion of virtual sparks illuminated the screen then died out. Again the sparks exploded but now the camera pulled back to reveal a massive cylinder of light crashing down with immense energy creating the bursts of sparks.

“Now this here's a real treat for you that my own R&D group cooked up. This breaker is some industrial level shit and it will level the entire server to get past a gotcha bot. In fact I got a dummy server rigged up here with some *ahem borrowed corporate ice, just so you can really get an idea of how much fuckin damage this thing can do. I've put three, yes that's right three, top of the line, corporate bullies back to back to back for... demonstration purposes. Remember kids, DO try this at home, school and anywhere else with a net connection.

The cylinder rotated ninety degrees and accelerated to ramming speed passing effortlessly through some cyber constructs, shattering them completely.

“Oh ho ho, that was brutal. I cannot wait to drop this bad boy on some ice that can actually feel pain.” “To round out this trio I brought in something professional, because while I am serious about putting on a good show for you I am also serious about my own safety online. And I'm serious about wanting to break Mac's record! So feast your eyes on something real juicy.” The screen remained black, but the blackness seemed to shift and move in subtle shades. Suddenly a bright clear blade of light flashed across the screen and disappeared, resheathed in the void. “Did you see that?! This is what the pros use, obviously, because I'm using it and I'm the only pro you know. It's practically undetectable and it just provides targeted assassinations of any piece of code that so much as pings me funny. Normally you wouldn't be able to get your hands on something like this. I only got  it because I know people who know people. That's right, even the pro runners are fans of my casts, and I mean why wouldn't they be?”

“Last but not least, I'll be running these killas, thrillas, and chillas, off some top of the line hardware. You all know my lovely console: 128 pentabytes of processing power, basically infinite amounts of memory, and just like me she's got super-coolant ice running through her veins.” “Alright we're about ready to get this show on the road. Let's go over the rules: Today's targets are Jack Weyland's private servers in remote orbit. To prove we done the deed we have to both take something and leave something. I got this handy-dandy little 'fuck you' some of the trashiest, nastiest, little virus that we're going to gift to Mr. Beanstalk. Hopefully it doesn't jettison his O2 supply into deep space, or hopefully it does, I don't really care. Mac's current, and the world's record is twenty-two minutes, thirty-five seconds, seventy-eight milliseconds, and fifty nanoseconds. The timer starts when I first log in. I also need a witness to verify that I beat Mac's record and I figure vidding it to the entire network should be good enough. For all you code babies out there I'll try to keep you all in the loop as to what's going on, but I am going to be pretty deep in the tank on this run. Let's get to it, shall we?” A three second countdown flashed on the screen. Two. One. A rush of colours and shapes blossomed into as Smoke connected to the Network. “And we're off! First step is we gotta find a connection from Earth to Mars, that's easy. This is a Weyland-themed run so we'll bounce through Blue Sun's servers to go from earth to Luna and Luna to Mars. Oh if you didn't see that, that was a piece of trash ice that garbage sysops run and that my kitten just put in its rightful place in the slagheap. I could erase everyone's electricity bills while I'm in here, but that's not what we're doing today. Anyways we're on Luna now so I'm going to be getting almost a full second of lag, but that's no problem for me. Best way to deal with this is to read just be able to read the future, like I can. Alright here's some ice with some teeth, let's knock them out shall we? Ooh that looked like it hurt, and it hurt the guy behind him too. Anyways so we're on Mars now, the latency is getting bad, but it's only going to get worse the deeper we go. From here we gotta go through Weyland's Martian HQ which will be about the only server receiving direct transmissions from Jacky-boy's deep space station. We're going to piggy-back one of those signals to get to the finish line. We're at, let's see, eight and a half minutes so we are making excellent time. Now they don't got laws on Mars against the dangerous ice that can cause permanent brain damage so we gotta be real careful here. Or we would if all there ice were still alive to do some damage. Didn't see that coming did ya? We're into Weyland's 'secure' Martian deep space communications but before I start the piggy back, remember when I mentioned the latency? Well it's basically unfeasible past this point so I have to set my breakers to launch a little preemptive strike once we hit the space station. But with these beasts daddy-Weyland won't know what hit him. Let's lock down this puppy. We're piggy-backing the signal. Wait for it. And bang! Uh what's going on here. Where's the damage? Where's the ice? Fuck I can't do anything. What is that?” The screen which had been a nigh-incomprehensible blur of colours and motion halted jaggedly. A wall of eyes opened up and no matter which way the camera turned it was always being watched. The breakers launched themselves violently at the offending pupils but simply phased through harmlessly. Meanwhile Smoke started yelling.

“Shit! Kill the feed, jack me out! Shit they know where we are. Oh fuck, we're tagged. Someone get me ou-” The audio went dead and the camera stopped moving, but for anyone still watching the cast the walls of unblinking eyes stared on. Half an hour later the vid-feed finally died out too.

Smoke stopped the recording, finished emptying the Net Mercur Subscribers' Account of credits and started wiping her presence from all the hardware. “My best performance yet, but it's time I moved on.”

[sfidressage]

Yes, Dee, you really should be working. Bet your horses and their owners miss you when you spend all day on here. Why don't you be a regular fan & stop spreading lies & conspiracy theories about Sam & Cait. Wonder what the uni would think of Professor McD's wife being such an obsessed out of touch with reality fanatic. And it would really be embarrassing for K to know that her mother is considered an Outlander tinhatter. Light shipping with no conspiracy theories spread is the way to go, Dee.

Awww, anon, am I spending too much time on Tumblr for your tastes? Debunking too many of your sacred, but not very well supported opinions? Sorry about that- but what I choose to do with the publicly available information that is available to me is my prerogative, as also is how I spend my free time. That’s the time when I am not working. My tag line is a bit of humour, anon, not to be taken seriously. All the work gets done and then some, anon, never worry about that!And speaking of publicly available information, I see that you have also availed yourself of some and done some poking about as to me and my family. No problem as far as I am concerned, or my family either. It is, after all, publicly available information and you are quite welcome to it. But you leave me at something of a social disadvantage, anon, in that you presume to address me on a first name basis- but, as you have chosen to remain anonymous-I don’t yet have your name to reciprocate properly with our first name basis communications. Oh, well, I suppose there is nothing for it but to just go on addressing you as “anon” until you see fit to introduce yourself. But I suppose I should now get down to answering your questions. Since you have troubled yourself to learn so much about me it’s the least I can do to reciprocate your interest!

First, my clients are all quite aware of my blog, and of its direction. In fact we often laugh about the absurdities of social media, and the proclivities of certain of its users to take it upon themselves to tell others how they should think. ( that’s a polite way to say “NSTer, anon)

And then there is my husband, who as you point out, anon, is indeed a professor. He was a little miffed to learn about your interest in him, anon, but only because your research seems to have failed to turn up, and refer to him by, his actual job title. He is actually a Distinguished Professor- which means he holds an endowed chair, anon, which means he is a very important part of his department, he teaches the advanced courses, sits on important committees, oh, and he also has tenure. Which means that it doesn’t really matter to him, or to his uni, what sort of things his wife might choose to do with her spare time. Even if that thing is to be an "obsessed out of touch with reality fanatic” lol! He is also well aware of my blog, and it’s content. In fact we both get a really good laugh together most mornings when he shares with me the latest political news a la Trump and friends, and I fill him in on the latest fandom happenings (that’s also a polite way to say “NSTer happenings, anon)

And then there is my lovely daughter, anon. I am so glad you didn’t leave her out of this as I am always happy to talk about her- that’s what parents love to do! She’s also well aware of my blog, and it’s content as well, anon. In fact she was the one who got me started in Tumblr. She ran a fandom blog in another fandom for several years and is also well aware of ships and shipping- and how the term "tinhatter” is applied to any ship that an individual disagrees with (which is a polite way of saying “NSTer”, anon)

So now that the pleasantries are sorted, anon, let’s get down to your real reason for writing. The conspiracy thing. You advocate “light shipping” for me, but there is no such thing. Not in the dictionary, not in the Urban Dictionary, and not even on Google. It doesn’t exist as a word, or a concept. It is only a “thing” in the minds of certain bloggers. The truth is, anon, you either ship it or you don’t. No heavy or light to it. And as to any “conspiracies” that is also a thing that comes with the territory in this fandom. The position of both sides requires there to be a “conspiracy” for their position to exist. The Sam Cait ship requires the “official” narrative of Sam and other girls to be a put on. And the Samzie ship requires the whole of the matter between Sam and Cait, as displayed by them their own selves, to be a put on. Either way someone is doing a put on, anon, it’s just a difference of opinion as to who.

When I add it up I get sam and Cait, as do my family and friends. Others get a different answer. So be it. Live and let live, and it is all public information after all. It’s not illegal, or even immoral to form opinions about it. Or to print those opinions or discussions.

And that brings me to your last point, anon. The implication that I am putting my family at risk by looking at publicly available information, and printing my opinions about it. Or that I am doing something wrong that I, or they, would not want known about. It’s obvious that is not the case. If I was doing wrong, and if you were actually someone with the power to do something about that, then we would be having this communication via letterhead, and not via an anonymous submission to my Tumblr blog.

And maybe you should ask yourself what it is that you are really saying when you resort to threats to try to silence the words what you claim to be nothing more than an “obsessed, out of touch with reality fanatic”. If I was truly just a “tinhatter” shouldn’t it be easy to simply ignore me the same way that everyone ignores the homeless guy who stands on the busy intersection preaching loudly, every day, about the end of he world which according to him is directly upon us? Instead you take the time out of your life to research my family and compose implicit threats- and no one likes to waste time. That tells me that my words are not meaningless. That tells me that my words are believable- and that they are believable enough to cause a threat to your worldview. And that you had no facts at hand, or even a good argument to make to refute them. No reason to need me silenced otherwise that I can see. There really isn’t a higher compliment

So thanks, anon, for taking the time out of your day so send me such a gracious compliment. My family and I send you our regards. Sorry we can’t thank you personally at this time since you are still anonymous, but perhaps in time you will feel comfortable introducing yourself. Or maybe not, since your choice to remain anonymous rather confirms the view that revealing your true identity would also be a reveal that you are in fact nobody whose opinion actually matters- or you would be using your real name and revealing that your opinion DOES matter after all. But this all is making even my eyes roll, anon, so take care of yourself, anon, whoever you are! Until then- Cheers!

[snarktheater]

Could you not say qu**r so often, please? Or at least tag it? Alternatives could be SGA or trans (depending on which part you're referring to) or LGBT? It's uncomfortable to quite a lot of people if it's used as an umbrella term too. Thank you

While I’m not interested in delving into that discourse on this blog…well, I guess it was gonna happen sooner or later. 

So just to be clear, before I say anything else, let me preface this post by saying that I’m going to state my position on this, but I will not admit any further discussion on the subject on this blog. You’re free to talk to me @talysalankil​ if you feel like having further discussion, but this blog isn’t the right place to do so. Also I’m going to use links from my personal blog because it’s just easier. But frankly if you want better sources on the subject, they’re out there.

Warning for massive wall of text. I tried to structure it, but there you go.

“Queer” has been reclaimed for decades. Many people who are much more knowledgeable than myself have pointed out that it’s been used at least as long as LGBT as an umbrella term (and that it was reclaimed before SGA was even invented), and it has the benefit of being inclusionary. The fact that is a historical slur cannot and should not be ignored, but the thing is, there is literally not a single word in use to refer to people who aren’t cis and straight that hasn’t been used as a slur at one point or another. Fuck’s sake, people still use “gay” today as a derogatory term, even when discussing things that have nothing to do with sexuality.

Meanwhile, SGA is an acronym that takes its root from conversion therapy (yes, really; SGA discoursers have claimed otherwise but survivors of conversion therapy attest to it), so I’m pretty sure it is equally trigger or even more triggering that queer to people.

SGL (same-gender loving) is a less historically charged acronym that I feel less strongly about for that reason, but it also comes from AAVE and I feel like there’s an element of cultural appropriation for me to use it as a white person, just like I wouldn’t use two-spirits because it’s a native american term. 

But that’s not my only issue with either acronym. See, the issue I have with SGA/SGL are multiple, and I’m going to put a cut here because this is getting out of hand:

It is an inherently binarist concept. Meaning, it either excludes nonbinary people entirely, since for many of them, the concept of “same gender” is compeltely irrelevant; or it partially erases nonbinary identities by grouping them together as “male-aligned” or “female-aligned”, i.e. implying they’re “basically a man” or “basically a woman”. Which, even if that is something some nonbinary people do identify with, is not something anyone should be entitled to force on people. Plus, you know, I guess people who aren’t on the male/female spectrum or agender people don’t exist at all and/or don’t belong in the community according to those people?

Bisexuality and polysexuality does not necessarily include “SGA”, even for cis male/female people. Implying that a bi person is straight if they experience attraction for the opposite binary gender and for nonbinary people is, once again, erasing those nonbinary people’s identities.

Because of these two points, the concept of SGA is inherently transphobic, since you cannot use it without assuming people’s gender.

This also adds a shade of exclusion of intersex people, whose status with regards to the community has always been complicated. Some intersex people don’t want to be included, some do. But “SGA and trans” doesn’t leave room for those who do, but don’t identify as trans (and those people exist), to join the community, even though they deserve a place.

Bisexual and polysexual people are constantly erased, and reducing their right to belong to the community as their attraction to their own gender is harmful rhetoric even for those who do experience that attraction (such as myself). It is the kind of thinking that leads to saying they’re “basically gay and using bisexual to ease into it” or that they’re “basically straight and just experimenting/lying” (the latter is particularly directed at women, especially if they are in a committed relationship with men, while the former is particularly directed at men, including myself). I am not “basically gay” and I don’t want to use an umbrella term for my community that reduces me to that in all but name.

More biphobia: it assumes that there’s such a thing as “straight passing privilege” and that anyone who’s not presently dating someone from their own gender is benefitting from that. That line of thought literally started off as biphobic rhetoric. Oh, and, you know, “straight passing privilege” is just being in the closet. Kind of like how TERFS say that trans women experience male privilege instead of being trans women in the closet. Apparently the closet only applies to you if you’re gay.

The unifying experience of the community is not homophobia. I mean, the fact that you have to use “SGA and/or trans” should be proof enough that you’re already adding trans people as an afterthought. But beyond that, biphobia is a different beast from homophobia, as is transphobia, as is aphobia. They stem from a similar form of societal bigotry, and there is intersection (a bi person dating someone of the same gender will probably experience similar issues as a gay couple, corrective rape which lesbians and ace people are both targeted by), but there are also differences of specificities (I already mentioned bi erasure; ace/aro people are targeted for being “mentally ill”; and I don’t think I have to explain the specificities of transphobia in a world where “bathroom bills” is a phrase that exists)

As others have pointed out, the phrasing makes it sound like the community started with “SGA people” and then was gracious enough to include trans people, which is historical revisionism.

The queer label offers grey areas for people who need time to figure out their own identity or just cannot place their identity on the existing, mainstream labels. SGA does the exact opposite of that by forcing people to place themselves on one side or another of a pretty ill-defined line.

Even if it weren’t for any of these points, the term has now been claimed as the rallying cry for exclusionary LGBT+ people, particularly to target ace and aro people. And by that I mean it started of as that, but let’s pretend it was already around and was claimed by those people.  Well, I will not stand for that, just like I’m not standing by TERF rhetorics. Interestingly enough, “queer is a slur” only emerged as discourse at the same time (and usually from the same people) who tried to enforce that exclusion.

LGBT+ aphobes have time and again shown that they were recycling biphobic and transphobic rhetorics (as I’ve shown myself earlier in this list), and in many cases, have proven to be the same people who used biphobic and transphobic rhetorics a few years ago, and that they haven’t given up on those views, merely grown more careful about where and how they advertise them.

If you want more I suggest you run a search for “SGA” on my main blog. It’ll be a lot of the same idea as what I just summarized here, just with more details.

So…yeah. If anything, I do not want to be included under the SGA umbrella, even though I am a bisexual man who so far has only ever dated other men. Well, one other man, but my dating history is kind of irrelevant anyway. Point is, I’m not using that umbrella. And I have every right to reclaim queer since…well, I just said I’m a bi man, which I’m pretty sure that should be enough.

I don’t have as many issues with LGBT, but at the same time, the acronym has also been pushed as “it’s LGBT and only LGBT therefore anyone who’s not lesbian, gay, bi or trans doesn’t belong” by the same people, enough that it feels sour in my mouth. I still use it liberally, although I try to use LGBT+ or other variations, such as LGBTQ, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIA+, LGBTQIAP+, etc, but ultimately, queer is just easier and has the benefit of being more inclusive than any of the above.

I understand that it’ll make some people uncomfortable, but until someone comes up with a word that makes no one uncomfortable (which, again, does not exist yet—the closest we got was MOGAI, but that one was targeted by a smear campaign from, you guessed it, exclusionists who didn’t like that it included ace/aro or trans people and now people can’t use it without starting a similar debate as this), I’m gonna have to settle for one, and I’ll pick the one that makes me the most comfortable, because I am a member of this community too and I have the right to do that. Just like you have the right to use SGA and it’ll make me uncomfortable, but I won’t come to your blog sending you an anon message asking you to stop, because I understand that no umbrella exists that satisfies everyone at the moment, and I have more pressing issues to deal with.

If that’s an issue, feel free to unfollow or whatever else it is you feel like doing. But I will not budge on this.

[lasiiurus-archived]

thank you !

^^ dis gif isn't mine. but that's totally my face.

Here it is! This is my big dumb 'thank-you' post that I've been meaning to write. So if you weren't aware, I've actually closed this blog (aside from some random posts about Logan and a Batman Podcast - you should listen to it) due to some major, major problems with the DC fandom that I find toxic and quite frankly disgusting. But das stuff that sadly I can't change so I'm doing what's best for me and getting my ass outta here before my love for Batman is forever ruined by blind and immature fanboys.

i started writing bryce around about 2015. My first blog was called surgitisms but I changed it because someone made some burnbook callout about me copying someones url (I had no idea that blog existed rofl - surgit is latin for 'rise'). I then moved to rageinyourbones (shoutouts to joseph gordon levitt) where i spent most of my time, developing this character that wasn't even my idea - it was just a passing remark from a lovely actress by the name of Natalie Dormer. now as you're aware (and as i continually apologize for) i fucked up on that blog, and i've done my best to reach out and make amends with the people i offended (and they were super gracious and accepted my apology). but that negative bollocks aside, i grew up so much on that blog. i learned some amazing things about myself, i learned some bad things about myself, and most importantly i created a character that i personally believe is different to bruce wayne. i ended up headcannoning late at night, thinking about how she would act differently to bruce, about how she would interact with certain characters etc etc etc.

but what really made all the difference was the people i met.

you guys are fucking amazing. i mean lets be real - the tumblr rp community can be fucked sometimes. we've all seen it, but what i love is that we tend to (80% of the time) treat each other as real human beings and see that what we're really here for is just the love of these dumb fictional characters. they give us a break from the savagery of life and its endless woes. i am so, so so grateful and so so so blessed to have known the people i have on here. people whom i met on rageinyourbones and followed me across to here, and people whom i met here. holy bollocks im rambling - im just gonna tag some specific people who really really made my life on here so enjoyable. the rest i'll just lump into one big post because i'm lazy like that.

@fracturedportrait - harmony. i remember meeting you the first time. i remember it so clearly. you were so chill, so spunky (god i feel old using that word), and you had such a passion for your oc. i remember the first plot we had, the inspiration we shared... who knew that it was the beginning of my greatest friendship and my #1 OTP for bryce. you were the first person whom i ever actually spoke to off tumblr (remember when i called you?? and you heard my dumb aussie accent??). i remember legitimately getting teary over memes, i remember smiling so much during our threads, i remember (and still do) laugh about us talking about how our sin is like a lovely vintage of wine. your writing consistently, unimaginably, pushes and has pushed me to better mine. with every post you made, you helped improve my writing. you are such a blessing to me and i am not going to just let this stay as some dumb tumblr friendship. we'll face time, and i'll be sure to credit you when i'm on the red carpet with natalie dormer being like 'so what made you want to write this film about a female batman?'. i'll just be like 'yo there was this really cool chick who wrote a vampire and she told me to just write this film'.

@halysborn - SWAN. ho man. do you remember when i wrote that giant meta about how dick literally changed not just bryce's life, but bruce's? i firmly believe that dick is the most important character in bruce's life. and i mean i'm talking on the same level as alfred - even more. he's the TRUE son. the son whom saved him. like i just cry about how bruce says that line - 'sometimes i think i've never done any good in my life. then i look at dick and realize i'm wrong' or whatever that actual phrase is. i PHYSICALLY VOM WHEN PEOPLE SHIP THEM. but yo that's other stuff. what's important is that you have supported me selflessly and without strings. you've supported me here, you've supported me over on deshibcsara, you've just been a consistent rock, an unyielding foundation of encouragement. i still, and will NEVER delete that voice recording where you talk about me and my love for batman. it gives me such hope and reminds me that, yeah i fuck up, but i've at least affected someone else's life and how they see batman. my only regret is that i was so goddamn slow with replying to our stuff. and that was literally because i felt like you deserved nothing but my absolute best. you are incredible, and from one aussie to another, i love you brocookie!

@femmekill - could u pls stop spamming my facebook wall with memes?? SIKE I LIED. I FUCKING LOVE IT. my mum literally asked me the other night 'who is -insert your real name-?' and i was like 'oh thats my wife' and she was like '???' and i just said 'dont even BOTHER trying to understand'. you have been nothing but optimistic about me. you consistently, relentlessly see the good in me. i dont think there's ever been a time where like i've felt wronged by you? or at the very least felt like i was a burden to you? you never fail to spread positivity. even when you were feeling like shit and i tried to cheer you up, it's like you turned it on me and were like 'nah gus you're not cheering me up IM CHEERING YOU UP - thats how it works'. im so fucking whipped by you, because you're just such a blessing to my life. the day we shared FB's was like the day i realized 'WELP IM IN THIS MARRIAGE FOR LIFE NOW'. when it comes to your writing - i'm just breathless. the tumblr rp fandom does not deserve you. keep doing your thing man - don't ever let douchebag anons change that.

@marblebelow - I SINCERELY HOPE YOU STILL HAVE THE RECORDING OF ME SINGING 'THE CONFRONTATION'. especially with the 'DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN'. that shit is lit. yo but mikel really. the days of us writing together - writing fisk/bryce and then writing jim/bryce... i value it so much. you've taught me to pursue every little nuance in bryce's character. and i mean that - you ask me tiny little questions, and holy crap i end up going into a massive internal investigation. and worst of all (or best??) you jsut lavish me with genuine, kind words. i regret that we didnt get to write much more (both of us having major stress/overwhelmed issues), but dude, like, never stop being you - you have such overwhelming, unimaginable depths of creativity. even if you don't realize it, or feel like you don't, believe me - you do. it sounds like -- errr.... arrogant? but ive spent the last six years studying writing/fiction/film and just immersing myself in it so i feel like i have SOME credibility - you really really do have a gift.

@ivyworn - 'yes hello i'd like to report a murder? the victim is ME' aka this is what happens whenever we talk. so we never actually got to do much writing, but honestly? i literally feel like we did writing in the SPIRIT with all of our tumblr IMs and just the amount of shit talking we did. PUMA. LEST WE FORGET. PUMA. no but real talk, i was supposed to send you a birthday gift aka im still gonna get my ass onto paypal and do that SO DONT YOU LEAVE YOUR BLOG. AND YOU CANNOT SAY NO. i've never met anyone whom has such an in-depth love and understanding for ivy. i remember chatting about Cast Shadows with you and the level of complexitity between Batman and Ivy. i mentioned this but Batman/Ivy is literally my OTP for Bruce. i just think it is such an interesting avenue that no writer (post Cast Shadows) has explored. whenever we spoke, i had such a smile on my face, i cannot even begin to desribe it. i really really hope life goes well for you and treats you with the care and respect you DESERVE.

@psyclownsis @scarestress tags both blogs bc i have no idea where you are these days. so i already recorded that voice meme thing talking about you piri - but i literally just want to further express my admiration and gratitude for you. you've stuck by me, you've pulled me aside and been like 'oi gus you're being a douche stop it', and you've just supported me and taken such an interest in this dumb character i write that literally just blows me away. the fact that we barely write but i still feel so close to you and so valued by you is just a testament to the power of tumblr rp friendships. we don't NEED to write together to be friends and to respect and admire each other. AND LORD KNOWS i admire you. i admire your dedication, i admire your 'idgaf' attitude. and honestly i just admire your unrelenting loyalty to people.

because i've literally written an essay - the rest of these tags are people that i admire and love, even if we haven't had much chance to interact.

@agoodluthor | @gunkanjiima | @grincarved | @terrifiesthem | @tcmbraider | @truthpiety | @influencedbyfear | @inexactexpiration | @aftcrshocks | @fallencomrade | @geniusfuturist | @mangledgrin | @shewolveriine | @tragicloss | @unleashedjustice | @volchista | @widowscars 

[sunfalldown]

December 26th

I’m reaaally late... as per usual. I’m sorry for the delayal, I ended up needing an extention because of some difficulties while writing this, but at least I finished it!!!

Anyway! This is my @voltron-ss gift for @hells-will-88 who asked for something shippy and for an AU. And they like Polydins. I’ll write Polydins if I’m given the chance. Hope you enjoy it!

I won’t ask for forgiveness for my Portal reference. Keep that in mind.

Title: December 26th Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Keith/Lance/Shiro Rating: G Word Count: 2425 Brief tags: Domestic AU, Christmas Fluff, Going on a Date, Aged-up Characters

Summary: Shiro went out with Lance to get some groceries but he realizes he forgot to pick up a cake. But there's no problem, Keith and Lance are willing to help. Spoiler alert: The cake is a lie.

Read this under the cut or in AO3!

There was a mug of coffee on the nightstand and a book in his hands. Keith had been like this for some good two hours and only the need for more coffee had interrupted his session. Yesterday Keith had received this novel as a christmas gift and thought he was all over sci-fi, it wasn't a bad idea to give it a try. And god did Keith love this novel. From the very beginning with dorky kids swimming in a community pool to this current part where the protagonists were meeting again after a year of being away, it had been delightful. It had been a while since he wanted to cry with a novel.

He was exactly in the second-to-last page of it when he heard the rustle of keys and the apartment's door flew open and thought Keith knew it was a bit rude not to go and say hello, he had to finish it before he was dragged into some kind of Lance antic.

“We're home,” said Shiro.

“And we brought brownies!” Lance announced.

'Brownies' Keith thought, a bit tempted. But, no, he had dedicated some good hours of his life to this novel and for all that was sacred in this world he was going to finish it.

It was a scene at the desert. Both kids were stargazing in the middle of the desert and one of them had said that he had had enough of all of this, of their friendship, because he couldn't hold back his emotions anymore and it was becoming more and more painful for him, and the main character/narrator was almost watching his entire life flow in front of his eyes as he considered how horrible it would be to not have the other boy in his life, and the moment Keith thought he was finally going to say something...

“Keeeeeeeith!!!” Lance came into the bedroom. “The brownieeeeeees!!!”

“Shut up Lance I'm in the middle of heavy drama.”

“But they're going to get cold!” Lance insisted as he came forward to drag Keith by the arm.

Keith made a gesture towards his mug and looked at Lance right into his eyes. “I swear to god Lance, I'll throw you hot coffee in the face if you don't let me finish.”

Lance backed up in the moment and raised his hands in a gesture of resignation.

“Fine, fine, finish your book. But don't blame me if I eat all of your brownies!”

The moment that Lance was out of the room, Keith focused back on the book. The scene, effectively, had a bit of dialogue and a kiss. And another kiss. And they laughed and resolved their tension. Keith had awaited for a while for a kiss but, at that moment, he couldn't feel the excitement he, at first, had portrayed he would feel. Reading it felt a bit bland.

“Goddamnit Lance, you ruined the moment!” Keith yelled as he stood up, threw the book on the bed and went to the kitchen.

Shiro and Lance were sitting at the small table they used to eat dinner, Keith's seat still free, with a couple of cups with milk and a plate with brownies on the center of the table. There were a fair amount of pieces, just enough for it to be impossible for Lance to eat them all in the time Keith decided to finish his book.

“Oh, goodness gracious, we're blessed with a strange visitor!” Lance laughs.

“Shut up, you ruined the mood of the end of my book,” Keith said, sitting down and picking a brownie from the center.

“Did you like it?” Shiro asked.

“Yeah, I loved it. Thanks for the gift.”

“Aw c'mon! Now you're going to say that you didn't like my gift,” Lance pouted.

Shiro, Keith and Lance had spent christmas with Lance's family. They had had dinner, a couple of drinks, they played a bit with the youngest kids and they had exchanged gifts. Keith had received the novel from Shiro, a nice christmas sweater from Lance's grandma, a spaceship lego model from one of Lance's siblings that loved Keith and, from Lance, Keith had received a framed photograph of Lance, Shiro and himself together. Keith couldn't even remember when Lance took that photo.

But it had been nice. It was a cute photo of them, sitting on their sofa, just smiling and cuddling. It's not like Keith had disliked it, not at all. But it also wasn't like he was about to admit that in Lance's face.

“I'm not not going to say that I didn't not like your gift,” Keith declared instead, laughing internally as Lance's facial expression shifted in confusion.

“Okay, that's enough,” Shiro cut them off. “Lance, remind me again, did we buy everything we needed?”

“Yep! Everything.” Lance raised his hand and started counting with his fingers. “We got some steak, rice, onions, garlic, eggs, salt and pepper for tomorrow's lunch. We also bought the sponge and the dish soap, the toiler paper and a new mug for you. Oh, and these brownies.”

“And the cake?” Shiro asked.

“The cake?” Lance seemed a bit shocked. “You didn't list a cake.”

“I... did not?” Shiro looked inside of his pocket and took out a piece of paper. There was a list of goodies written on it. “Fuck.”

“What's the matter?” Keith asked.

“I... I asked a patisserie to bake a special cake for my cousin, and I should have gone there today to get it, but I forgot. Fuck.”

“Hey, it's okay,” Lance reassured Shiro. “Keith can go with you to get the cake and there'll be no problem!”

“Why are you offering me?” Keith asked.

“Because I already went out and you know I don't like the cold, so you'll go with Shiro.”

“You can both come with me,” Shiro suggested. “We go outside for dinner, we walk through the city to the patisserie, we get the cake and then we come back here. I'll pay, since I'm the one who's dragging you guys around.”

Keith and Lance looked at each other for a second before nodding to each other. It sounded like a nice plan. Keith liked the idea of going out for dinner and Lance could resist the cold for a bit more. It wasn't like it was snowing outside.

It was, in fact, snowing outside when they went out of their apartment and Lance stood crooked with a lot of coats and sweaters over him, cursing the winter for its cold temperatures and any deity out there that thought that snow was an enjoyable thing. Lance hated the cold weather. He wasn't going to go back into the apartment because Keith was there, and Lance could resist anything better than Keith could, but that didn't mean he would ignore his spite and stand straight, or get his hands out of his pockets.

They all walked through the streets covered in a thin blanket of snow, Shiro and Keith shielding each of Lance's sides from the cold breeze, as Keith periodically reminded Shiro the fact that they were going out for dinner and for a cake, and that, ideally, nothing else should be done. Lance also asked from time to time if there was anything else that Shiro could have possibly forgotten, but Shiro kept saying that there wasn't anything else to do.

Shiro had a lot of issues with memory. He could be reliable, trustworthy and a great leader, but he usually needed people around him that could help him remind important stuff because he, by himself, was unable to. Everyone that knew Shiro well enough also knew that it wasn't his fault. His brain had endured a lot, from a couple of childhood traumas to an actual car accident, so he was physically unable to remember key stuff by himself. Keith and Lance knew that too, so they would always lend a hand when Shiro needed to run an errand, so Shiro wouldn't forget what his intention was.

That's what any good boyfriend would do, right? They didn't mind helping Shiro.

As they walked, Keith and Lance noticed that they had already passed the burgers place that they usually ate at, or the chinese restaurant that was where they went when they felt a bit fancier than hamburgers. And, now that they thought about it, had Shiro specified where he wanted to go?

“Shiro,” Keith asked. “Do you remember where are we going?”

“Oh yeah,” Shiro said.

“Are you sure?” Lance asked. “We don't even know where we're going.”

“Don't worry guys, it's a nice place.”

Keith and Lance were a bit doubtful, but... Shiro seemed confident enough, so, they decided on trusting him. Either way, if he forgot what place he wanted to go, they could always go for chinese food.

And before they noticed, they were in front of “The Veil,” a restaurant so fancy that neither Keith or Lance had ever considered even laying their eyes upon it.

“Uhm, Shiro...” Lance started. “We're... not, going to eat here, right?”

“Is there a problem?” Shiro asked, a bit of concern growing on his expression.

“Uhh, well...” Keith started. “For instance, we're not dressed up for the occasion?”

“I asked for a private room for us three, so you don't have to worry about people judging our clothes or anything.”

“But,” Lance continued. “Don't you need a reservation?”

“Yes you do. And I have one.”

“What about the money? This place must cost a fortune.”

“I've been saving up to treat you guys a dinner here.”

Keith was gaping. Lance still couldn't believe what was happening right in front of him.

“Can we get in already?” Shiro asked. “Or would you prefer going somewhere else?”

Of course Keith and Lance wanted to go in! Shiro evidently had done a lot, and all by himself, to bring them there. They were not going to turn it down!

They entered the main hall of the restaurant, which was gigantic, and there were many people sitting down, chatting and enjoying their meals, all of them dressed in shirt, cloth pants, dresses and shoes that could cost a whole kidney. Keith felt really out of place; he was wearing cargo boots and a simple red sweater under his poofy jacket. Lance wasn't that better either; he was wearing a blue shirt with matching sweater, which was a plus, but the jeans killed the entire vibe.

Shiro spoke to a man with a book in front of him, probably the one in charge of reservations, and after confirming that Shiro, effectively, had made his own, the three of them were guided to one of the private rooms. It was a room with carved wood decorating the walls, a small window that allowed you to see the outside, a small table in the center and three seats ready to go.

These rooms were a bit harder to get, since most people wanted a private dinner, so, to get one, you had to make a reservation at least with one month of anticipation.

“Just how much did you go through to get this room?” Keith asked.

“Not too much, actually,” Shiro laughed. “I called this place last christmas and they said the room was available for today, so I took it.”

“You reserved this place a year ago?!” Both Keith and Lance felt their jaws falling to the floor.

Shiro... Shiro remembered a reservation he had made a year ago? How did he manage to remember it? It was true that Shiro would write things down in papers for him to remember, like making a list for the supermarket or pointing out in an agenda that he had to go to a meeting a certain day, but, the fact that he had remembered something that Keith and Lance themselves would have forgotten easily was just so... amazing...

Without saying anything else, the three of them sat down, the waiter brought the menus for everyone and, after asking for something to drink, they were left alone. Keith and Lance started reading the menu and while Lance was trying to pick one of the many fancy things this place offered, Keith was trying really hard to imagine what all these things could look and taste like. Some of these things sounded like spaghetti, but what was the “al pesto” sauce?

“You know, guys,” Shiro started, and both Keith and Lance lowered their menus. “I don't know if I've ever told you this but, when I was little, I never celebrated christmas the way I do with you two.”

Keith and Lance looked at each other, and Keith said “I don't recall you telling us how you celebrated christmas before.”

“Really?” Shiro seemed both surprised and relieved. “Well, it's like that. Christmas, for me, wasn't a family day as a child. It was a romantic day for my parents to celebrate. Dad would usually take mom on a fancy dinner like this.”

Lance tried to portray small Shiro with his parents as they had a romantic night while Shiro watched movies at home. Lance couldn't quite portray himself in that kind of tradition. He loved to spend time with his family exchanging gifts and making the youngest kids believe in Santa. But Shiro didn't seem to be sad about remembering that. So, did he...

“So, you wanted to share christmas with us in that way?” Lance asked, his face starting to heat up.

“That was my dream. At least once, to have a date with you guys on christmas.”

Shiro smiled. It was a tender smile, so loving and endearing it made Lance feel warmth in the pit of his belly even though he had been freezing just a while ago, and it made Keith feel like he wanted to hide somewhere because the emotions were too much to handle.

Lance reached out with his hand to hold Shiro's, pulled it towards himself and planted a kiss on the dorso. Similarly, Keith stood up for a second to plant a kiss on Shiro's cheek. Shiro could feel all his body warming up just as his partners did.

“That may be the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say, you know?” Lance said with his teasing voice.

“Sometimes you're so embarrassing,” Keith teased Shiro too.

“Hey guys,” Shiro's face was as red as a cherry. “C'mon, I worked hard on not forgetting this!”

“We know,” Keith reassured.

“And we love you so much for it,” Lance finished the idea.

Shiro felt like his face couldn't ever feel hotter.

[ruthdemoofins]

Cor Tutor - Chapter 1/? - Perc’ahlia

When Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third agrees to tutor a student for Professor Hydris’ statistics course, the last thing he expects to find is a witty, stubborn woman who’s not only completely intriguing on her own, but also has a handful of strange friends, including a giant bear and a terrifyingly protective older brother. Least of all, the last thing he expected was to find that she was the woman who’d approached him on the street the previous day, proclaiming him to be her boyfriend in front of her obsessive stalker, a man named Saundor.

Read on AO3: (X)

“I’m not meant to be here, brother. I should be out in those woods with Trinket, free as a bird,” her singsong voice and jazz hands only draw a groan from behind her. The skilled, brotherly hands braiding her hair grip into her locks and give a tug that evokes a yelp from Vex’ahlia. “Dick,” she mutters, crossing her arms tightly over her midriff in an ever-so-adult-like manner.

Vax'ildan only sighed, pursing his lips lightly, “When Syldor sent us here, he didn��t give a fuck what we made of ourselves, Vex’ahlia,” she cringes at the mention of their father, “He wanted us as far the fuck away from his new, perfect family as he could and I’m sure the last thing he expected us to do was get here, or at least, get you here.”

Admittedly, in the beginning, finding the footholds to attend university had been rough.  Vex and Vax had certainly made do with the deft hands they were born with, only running into the authorities on a few occasions. It’d taken a few years of hard (and often, illegal) work for them to find enough money to buy Vex'ahlia a place within the college and live a decently comfortable life in the meantime. They’d made do with the shitty financial aid offered to them and tried to ignore the fact that Syldor (the fuckhead) could’ve afforded to place them both within the university. Shitty fathers aside, Vex and Vax had rejoiced that they had the chance to make something of at least one of them, as one’s success was a shared happiness between the twins.

She’d always wanted to become a park ranger, ever since she was young. Vex'ahlia always wanted to protect the land that she’d grown up on, the rocks she’d scraped her knees on, the trees she’d learned to climb bare-footed. Most of all, she wanted to protect Trinket, but she’d never expected that she’d be sitting with goddamn statistics homework in front of her. She was studying environmental sciences, she should be in the sciences, not in complete duress over the mishmash of numbers and figures on the pages in front of her.

While, yes, Vex did quite enjoy Professor Hydris as a person and would love to get her completely head-over-heels wasted sometime, she did not enjoy the way she drew up horrifyingly confusing equations on the board. She definitely did not enjoy how most of the class seemed to understand it, while she struggled to resist the urge to flip her desk and scream.

“I don’t get it, brother. What the everloving fuck does this have to do with nature? It’s not like I’m going to be counting birds or some bullshit like that,” she moans, woefully passing the elastic band from her wrist to her brother as he gives her newly crafted braid a tug.

“Dunno,” he shrugs, quickly tying off her hair. He expertly hops to his feet, walking across the living-room/kitchen/bedroom of their small, shared flat to check his mobile. “What I do know is that Shaun’s expecting me and I don’t want to be late,” he tells her, rolling his eyes as her face furls in delight at the mention of Shaun. “Oh, Gilmore,” she sighs dreamily, resting her cheek against her clasped hands as she bats her lashes. “Of course you can’t leave Gilmore waiting, can you?” she coos, haphazardly nudging her statistics book away from her with her foot.

“Drop the shit, Stubby,” Vax’ildan huffs, jerking on his black pea-coat (the coat is so sulky and moody; completely perfect for Vax, in her opinion), “It’s work. Don’t fuck around with school, okay? You’ll work it out. You’re fucking stubborn, but you’re smart,” he walks over and leans down to press a kiss upon Vex’s head. “Try tutoring or some shit, yeah? They offer it for free. You know how we feel about freebies.”

Vex hides a smile under her hand as she rubs her nose, nodding compliantly, “Free shit is always good. Get out of here, give your boyfriend a kiss for me, all right?”

Vax stiffens at that, pausing to flick her forehead with his forefinger before expertly dancing away from the rebutting swing of her fist. He grabs the keys to his bike-chain and gives them twirl, shooting Vex a stern glare, “He’s not my boyfriend, twit.”

“Oh, is it Keyleth now? You’re so adorably bi, brother,” Vex grins ear to ear as her brother manages to cringe down into his jacket, so hesitant to talk about his relationships with her, his sister. The travesty of it all!

“What it is isn’t your goddamn business, yeah?” he shoots her a wide-eyed look of faux-annoyance (or maybe it is real, she doesn’t know)  before he’s out the door, leaving her to her misery.

Gilmore’s her favorite, really. When they were barely scraping by on the little money Syldor left them, literally taking free-samples from the grocery store for fucking dinner, Gilmore found her brother, offered him work. Of course, it wasn’t all entirely legal, but Gilmore was known for his merchandise, entirely legal or not. Though he acted it, the man wasn’t much older than them as it was (Vex'ahlia was quite the elderly junior), and he was glorious, as marketed. His sonorous tone and grand motions always had her on her toes, and not to mention the way he could make Vax blush. It was all too good.

He’d kept Vex doing some “recon work” for him, as he called it, but every so often, she’d tag along with her brother. They were always at their best when they worked together, but Vax had gone solo after she’d been dragged into uni.

She didn’t regret it, though, the uni part. She did, however, feel a horrible amount of guilt for Vax’ildan’s sacrifice. He claimed it made him happy, that their mum would’ve wanted this, but it was at his expense, really.

She knew Vax wasn’t a college kid, knew he’d get sick of all the curriculum bullshit and the pushing, but he did seem happy to be working for Gilmore, seemed happy to be around her friends from school (especially Keyleth).

Reverie wasn’t going to finish this horrible studying, though. With a grumble, Vex’ahlia flipped open her well-worn, brick of a laptop, pulling up her statistic class’s homepage to inquire about tutoring.

She fucking hated the idea of it, but at this point, the book seemed to be in an entire different language and she wasn’t going to waste Vax’s money on a shit semester.

On the bright side, it gave her the chance to communicate with the one and only Zahra Hydris (they would totally be best friends by the end of the semester).

“Percy, darling?”

Pervical Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third, jerked his head up from the book he’d been devouring (mentally, of course), feeling a lurch of impending doom as he spotted Professor Hydris at the edge of the table he occupied.

This certainly wasn’t going to be good. Not only had Zahra found him outside of class hours, but she’d found him in his secluded corner of the library with a smile on her face that was anything but hopeful for him. Still, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever seen a smile on Professor Hydris’ face that offered any form of good fortune. She was the type of woman whom held a smile that was more of a baring of teeth, not exactly friendly, not exactly promising. He recalled freshmen spreading rumors that she’d had her incisors sharpened on purpose, though Zahra probably started that rumor herself.

She did love to terrify freshmen and Percy couldn’t object to that particular practice.

“Can I help you, Professor Hydris?” Mentally, he sorted through what he’s done lately. He was flying through her Research Methods course with bravado, he hadn’t fallen asleep in the student lounge for thirty-four hours since last year (he’d not slept an entire three days from working on studies of his own and studies for school before that particular hibernation) and he certainly hadn’t started a fire in the science center’s lab since freshman year.

Zahra’s smile eases up a bit at the hesitation in his voice, planting one hand on his occupied table and the other on her hip, “Remember when I said I’d forget that you fell asleep in class if you’d tutor for me in the beginning of the semester?” she questions.

“…Yes.”

“Remember when I said I’d probably never need to use you as a tutor anyway, so it was a…gracious deal…?” she winced lightly.

Ah.

Percy didn’t even remember how she’d convinced him into that in the first place. The idea of holding the slimmest chance of tutoring someone, someone who was entirely capable of being an asshole…How had she convinced him into that, anyway? She’d probably humbled him to the point of accepting without even quite realizing, damn her.

She takes his pause as the opportunity to continue, giving a soft huff of amusement, “It appears our patron-saint of tutoring is absolutely swamped,” Professor Hydris tuts softly, momentarily glancing about, probably for freshmen to terrify (they do call her the Dragon for a reason), before returning her piercing blue eyes to Percy. “Anyway, on top of her normal studies, Miss Trickfoot is well over her head with students to tutor and I was hoping you could take on just one student for me?” again, she winces lightly as she asks this, as if she understands the sacrifice it’ll require for him to actually mentor someone.

Percy does have plenty of free time this semester, admittedly. Enough for him to tinker, at least. The idea of mentoring a stranger, a potential asshole, spikes his nerves, but still, if it means he’s on her good side, it means he could get away with a few more naps after sleep-deprived nights of plotting. “I suppose I could,” he says. It might not be so bad, really. He’s not one to attempt to meet new people; meeting his only friend in the entire school, Keyleth, had been at her own expense, but he might as well have a go. This stranger/potential asshole might even be of use to him.

“Oh, good,” Zahra sighs, as though a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She sinks into the seat across from him, rummaging through her messenger bag for a moment. “Her name is Vex’ahlia. A third year student in stats. I don’t know why, but apparently she’s required to take my course, even though she’s aiming to become a park ranger. Haven’t a clue what she’ll use it for, besides organizing a study on birds or something, but she reached out to me this morning, completely at a loss on what she’s looking at,” she explains, sliding a sheet of paper over to Percy. “Her number and email are there, I’ll leave the meeting times to you.”

Percy slides the paper closer with his index finger, nodding his head in response to Zahra where needed as she speaks.

“If she’s absolutely done for, let me know, but she’s a firebrand, at least from the few times she’s asked me for help,” Hydris wears a fond grin on her lips, eyes glossing over. Percy can’t imagine Zahra being anything but a firebrand at his age, probably had a chain of men behind her, to boot (he quickly wipes that particular mental image from his mind).

“I’ll contact her and see what I can do to help,” he assures, folding the paper and tucking it in the breast-pocket of his shirt.

“Thank you,” for the first time, she has an honest-to-Gods smile on her lips as she looks over to him. Percy can’t help but wonder if he’s truly been initiated as a senior now that he’s earned a smile from Zahra Hydris, but before he can ask aloud, Zahra is standing up and bidding him a good afternoon, bustling down towards the stairs.

Percy considered texting Vex'ahlia then and there, but the moment he flipped opened his ancient mobile, he was distracted by the array of texts from Keyleth, all including a ridiculously appropriate amount of emojis for her personality, and Cassandra, who was hoping that he could pick up dinner from their favorite takeout place.

He’d set up a meeting time later, he supposed. For now, he’d sit, read and pretend that he had no pending judgement to make on Vex'ahlia (still a potential asshole).

A buzz from his phone had him opening it again with a heavy, weary sigh, noting Keyleth had texted him, again (she’s a mother hen and he should expect this, he supposes).

“I’m coming to find you to bestow bagels upon you :)”

He hardly has time to sigh again, mourning the loss of a quiet afternoon of reading before Keyleth is approaching him, one arm precariously holding two sealed cups of what he’s hoping is coffee and the other, a bag of the apparent bagels-to-be.

She nearly spills both as she sinks down into the seat adjacent from him with a loud sigh, dropping the cups towards him and thankfully, it is coffee (how she doesn’t mind the scalding heat against her bare arms is unknown to him, but her dedication to cutting the sleeves off of everything she owns is admirable).

“So, Vax and me talked again,” she tells him with a bob of her head. The look on her face isn’t exactly confident, though Keyleth isn’t very confident to begin with, and Percy knows he’ll be here awhile.

Honestly, he’d never tell anyone, but he’s a little happier to spend the afternoon sitting, listening and pretending that he has no pending judgement to make on Vex'ahlia (the potential asshole).

So I got this idea in my head a week ago and it was like Scanlan sang me a sweet, sweet song about myself for inspiration dice or something because I am totally in love with writing this.

Anyway, I’m not entirely familiar with environmental science majors and I’m sure they don’t actually take statistics, but I also know that colleges love to put you in classes that aren’t your major and then blame you when…yaddayaddayadda. But yeah, don’t expect this to be 100% accurate for a legitimate park ranger hopeful.

Trigger-wise, I don’t think anything majorly /bad/ will be happening in this fic besides the whole stalking aspect. If that changes, I will leave a warning for sure.

As for the use of uber italics with Vex, it’s just how I hear her voice in my head and with Vax and Kiki and Gilmore, welp, who knows what that lil raven rascal will choose?

This is my first Critical Role fic and I’ve no beta, so please tell me how I’m doing! x

[offishialbusinessoutdoors]

SUMMERTIME BOATING RULES... So perfect for this time of year... Thanks Aaron Drake for sharing. I added my 2 sense too!! UNIVERSAL BOAT RULES... if you don't have a boat or just go out with a friend, please read so you don't act like a fool.... haha ;-) if it's too long to read, maybe you just need to invest in a floatie... haha Boating friends please read this before you come aboard my boat! Had enough weirdos and "that guys" over the years BOAT GAS - it's not cheap... it takes a ton of gas to get up and down the lake, tow tubes and other water sports. Offer to pitch in some cash because as a captain of the boat gas isn't the only expense. Boats aren't cheap to maintain so the least you can do is help out with the days gas consumption. Don't be that guy! FOOD – Don’t be the guy that brings one bag of pretzel rods for a full day of boating. Eventually you'll get hungry (especially after a few beverages) and when you do you'll have to depend on the kindness of others to feed your ass properly (mainly because they don’t want your drunk ass falling off the boat or passing out due to lack of proper nutrition). Consider bringing a sub sandwich, chopped fruit, veggies, chips with dip or some other easy-to-transport food. Be gracious when someone does offer you their food and don’t just take for granted that the host/hostess is supposed to feed you unless this was specifically implied. DRINKS – Always bring twice what you can drink. Boating is a communal affair and you may have to share a couple beers (because there’s always "that guy" who came completely empty-handed or underestimated their ability to consume beverages on a hot day). Also, don’t show up and set the drinks on the floor, put them in a cooler and cover them with ice. Unless you’re bringing Fireball, we’ll make room in our cooler for that. And drink a water every now and again. Proper hydration will ensure that you don’t get too shitfaced and be “That Guy.” GUESTS – Did you tell the captain you were bringing a friend/dog/child on their boat? Bringing tag-alongs without notice is a big no-no, ESPECIALLY kids under 18. That +1 may put the captain at overcapacity, or pee on the carpet (the dog or kid, not the friend, unless he's "That Guy"). Some boat outings just aren’t kid-friendly and with a child on the boat, a whole new level of legal liability has just been heaped onto your captain who probably isn't in the mood. Besides, you're now personally responsible for the care and feeding of your guest. You’re going to have to share your warm 6-pack and pretzel rods between two people now. Always check with your host/hostess before dragging along a sidekick. Yes, even you, beloved friend. SMOKING – Always ask before lighting up on someone’s boat. These are expensive machines that you didn't pay for or are making payments on. Just because boating is an outdoor activity doesn’t mean it’s OK to light up without asking. Owners always fear some drunk dumbass will put a burn hole in the seat. And never be "That Guy" and toss your butts in the water. LIKE EVER. LITTERING – Speaking of throwing things in the water...Absolutely nothing goes into the water that isn't sea grass or urine. Orange rinds, peanut shells and such are kind of a no big deal but be mindful of your beer caps, cigarette butts, wrappers, cans and red Solo cups. Litter is destructive and disgusting. In fact, if you find a piece of trash in the water, be part of the solution: Pick it up and put it in a trash bag. Don’t be a piggy. BE PREPARED – Be sure you’ve brought all you need for fun in the sun. This includes sunscreen, sunglasses, Chapstick, and a towel along with your food and drinks. Trust your friends when they say you need sunscreen or a water. THE CAPTAIN – OK, here’s the deal: The captain is in charge of the boat (the captain may not always be the one in the drivers seat). If he/she says it’s time to go, it’s time to go. If he/she asks you to move, sit down or shut up, do it. As fun and relaxing as boating is, it's the captain's job to ensure the safety of all people on their boat and not get pulled over by law enforcement because a guest is being "That Guy." Also, the captain chooses the music or appoints a DJ, period. SAFETY – If you feel a “hold my beer and watch this” moment coming up, suppress it. Never push anyone out of a moving boat or jump out of a moving boat. Don't hang out by the motor of a running boat. Don’t try a double back flip off the platform or railing. Don’t sit on the rails or dangle your feet in the water while the boat is running. In other words, don’t be "That Guy." PASSENGER ETIQUETTE – Respect the boat! Don’t step on seats!. Leave coolers on the floor. Don’t bring any glass on-board unless you ask first. Respect equipment including paddle boards and floats. Don’t play with any buttons or switches. Don’t try to start the boat while the captain is away. Time for a water break? Don't jump out of the boat until the captain gives you the OK and the motor is turned off. Don’t try to “help” unless the captain asks you to. Also, never whip out your aerosol 50 sunscreen spray and do a spray-down while sitting on the upholstery; use your spray sunscreen BEFORE boarding. Why? Because all boat owners know that shit is impossible to clean off the seats, makes them sticky, and generally cuts upholstery shelf-life in half. The lotion kind is better for your skin and the environment, anyway. DON'T BE LATE – Nothing is more irritating than sitting with a boat full of people in the heat waiting on "That Guy" who didn’t plan ahead. We could be out having fun, but no, we’re still at the dock because you just texted “On My Way!” from inside Smiths or Albertsons. Have some respect for your friends and get there when you're supposed to. NOTE: The captain reserves the right to leave your ass behind without notice if you're more than 15 minutes late. DISEMBARKING – Don’t stand up until the boat is fully secure. Make sure you grab everything you brought with you on the boat. If you put extra beers in the captain's cooler because you didn't bring one, leave them - he/she just took your ass out and provided you a great day on the water - you can buy more. Make sure all trash has been removed from the boat and take it off the boat. And ask the Captain if they need help wiping down the boat or anything else they may need help with. Oh and if you want to get invited out regularly, offer to chip in for gas, because boats don't run on "Thanks."