#What I learned in 100 miles

[thatshadyperson]

My brother went in to get his ID at his school and one of the math teachers walked by him and said "Fuck you" 💀

[badjokesbyjeff]

Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful

The first brother is the strongest.

"Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood.

"What happened?!" his brothers exclaimed.

"You see that mansion over there?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I went over there and sucked each and every last family member dry. They are all dead."

"Wow!" his brothers say. "As expected, for you are the strongest." The second brother to go is the oldest.

"Watch and learn, boys," he says, and takes off even quicker, at 150 miles per hour.

Five minutes later, he returns, both his mouth and his neck covered in blood.

"What happened?!" His brothers exclaimed.

"You see that village over there?"

"Yeah?" They said.

"Well I went over there and killed every last person in the entire village. There is not one left alive."

"Wow!" his brothers say in awe. "As expected, for you are the oldest and have the most experience."

The third brother is the fastest.

Not to be outdone, he says "Watch this, and don't blink or you might miss it."

He flies off, faster than the rest of them, going at least 200mph. In only ten seconds, he returns. His entire mouth, nose, and neck are covered in so much blood, it stains the front of his shirt.

"What happened?!" his brothers exclaimed.

"You see that giant tree over there?"

"…Yeah?"

"Well I sure fuckin' didn't."

[herebutnothere]

This scene in S7 E5 is so so important to the bridge between who Rick and Michonne were as people before each other and who Rick and Michonne are as individuals and a unit once they find and learn each other.

At this point in their journey they're at a crossroads. The Saviors have just murdered their friends and have put their community under a constant state of danger and strife. The very life and freedom they walked the extra 100 miles for is at risk.

And yet...

Rick is willing to accept it. He's already lost so much and he can't see a way out that doesn't include more losses that he's not sure he can handle.

But Michonne is willing to fight. While she too has lost so much, she can't see a way forward that includes rolling over.

Rolling over like Mike (who cost her her son).

Or rolling over like Andrea (who cost her the trust and friendship she carefully opened herself up to).

So here, when Rick says that he's going to go find things to appease this force weighing on them, that he's using his time and energy and power to essentially surrender, they're at odds.

For Rick, this comes with self-doubt, self-consciousness, and embarrassment. Maybe he can't keep them safe.

For Michonne, this comes with self-doubt, fear, and hesitation. Maybe she'll lose everything again.

But it's important to note that they're at odds with the method, not at odds with each other.

So. Back to this scene.

Rick says that if you change your mind, you can join us. You can join me. (Please don't leave. Please don't doubt me. That's a pain I can't handle.)

For him, Negan's presence is the manifestation of all his internal doubts. And we've seen what happened before when those internal doubts were presented in human form (Shane x Lori).

Lori turned from him. She doubted him. She lost faith in him. She, for all intents and purposes, left him.

So when he sees Michonne's doubt and hesitations, he thinks it's happening again. That she's turning from him. That she's doubting him. That she's lost faith in him. That she'll leave him. That she's disgusted by his "weakness". That she's at odds with him because we know that he internalizes his decisions as a reflection of himself.

That she can't handle, accept, or love this side of him.

But Michonne isn't even focused on that. She's stuck on her way of doing things. Of not being able to trust anyone and needing to be the only person who can step up. She's trying to not lose Rick and Carl and the others the same way she lost her son. She's reverting to hyper-independence.

So when she shifts his peck on the cheek to kiss him fully, when she holds his face and looks into his eyes, it's her saying "I see you. I understand. And I still need to do this for myself." (I'm not at odds with you. I'm trying to prove myself wrong. I need to see it through.)

His "thank you" is for her wordless affirmation. For her grace. For her love. For her acceptance of what he thinks he needs to do and who he thinks he needs to be in this moment to keep them all safe.

And with this, the bridge between them is strengthened. The Rick who still struggles with the weight of leadership that's been thrust upon him and the Michonne who hasn't fully trusted this new world around her begin to settle. And when each comes back at the end of the day having played out their individual methods and seen the proof they need firsthand, they have a new understanding of what they're facing.

Because this time is different.

Rick didn't have her before and Michonne didn't have him.

But now, they have each other. That's why she says that together they can defeat the Saviors. They need each other. His strength and hers. Different forms of strength made more powerful and amplified by the individual experiences they've had.

Le sigh.

This is one of my favorite scenes of theirs and in my mind lays the foundation for how everything in TOWL played out, from his escape attempts to her being able to break through his trauma. Simple perfection.

[theragethatisdesire]

three's a... - jean kirschstein x afab!reader x eren jaeger - 18+!!!

i feel like i have mentioned the possibility of giving y'all an erejean threesome way too many times to keep holding out on you, so now that i've finally nitpicked this fic to death, here we are!! literally living my dreams vicariously through this fic. i'm still not 100% happy with it, but eren and jean are sexy here and are doing half of the work of making this worth the read for me lolol. it's also written mostly through jean's pov which was interesting to play with.

pairing: eren jaeger x reader x jean kirschstein

wc: 6.5k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, threesome, established relationship (eren's ur perfect bf and u guys can't stop having sex with jean lol), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), face fucking, rough sex, vaginal fingering, degradation, biting, dirty talk, penetrative vaginal sex, anal (fingering and fucking), swearing, use of names (slut, brat, pretty girl, good girl, angel), mean dom eren vs soft dom jean, multiple orgasm, dacryphilia/crying, creampie, double penetration, bicurious jean and bicurious eren (tasty, they definitely don't keep their hands to themselves), polyamory implied

buckle up, this was a blast to write and i hope it's equally as fun to read. enjoy <33

-

Jean should definitely not be here.

He should absolutely not be on his living room couch with Eren Jaeger’s girlfriend’s head in his lap, playing idly with her hair. By all traditional conventions and rules of exclusive relationships, Jean’s fairly sure that letting your girlfriend rest her head on the crotch of your roommate while he strokes her hair is on the no-no list. Not for Eren, apparently, who has your feet in his lap on the other end of the couch, playing with your toes absentmindedly and making you giggle and kick him in protest. Jean should not be here, but you and Eren have made a habit of roping him into circumstances that he would never admit to, not even at gunpoint.

If Jean is brutally, painfully honest with himself, he knows he had gotten himself into this. You were just so cute, wisping around their apartment in a big tshirt and tiny shorts in the mornings, always making sure to save him a cup of coffee. Maybe he had let his lingering glances linger just a little too long, smirked over his coffee mug at you one too many times, come up behind you to help you reach something on the top shelf and leaned a little too close, Jean couldn’t pinpoint exactly what caused Eren to notice his clear attraction towards you, but he did. Instead of getting his ass kicked like he had expected when you and Eren sat down to confront him, Jean had learned something.

Eren Jaeger has a greedy, spoiled brat of a girlfriend.

That had been the first time Jean came in you, fucking into your throat while Eren watched from across the room, palming over the bulge in his jeans. The second time, the two of you had invited Jean out for a drink, which, in hindsight, he should have seen the ulterior motive from a mile away. He had ended up cumming in your pussy, bending you over in the bar bathroom with Eren’s cock in your mouth. The third time had been in Eren’s bedroom as you rode him, Eren sitting behind you and working your hips over Jean’s cock as you wailed.

Jean had stopped his ministrations in your hair as he was reflecting on how exactly he got into this situation, trying very hard not to think too far into the filthy details to prevent propping your head up with an erection. You make a little noise of discontent, grabbing at his hands and urging them back to your hair.

“Jean, don’t stop. Feels good.”

Jean’s mouth tightens into a thin line at your choice of words, words he’s heard from you before under very different circumstances, but he obliges. So much for self control. Eren raises a smug eyebrow at him from across the couch.

“You’re giving her what she wants, right, Kirschtein?”

Jesus, you two are insatiable, still managing to grate on Jean’s razor-thin willpower with all of your clothes on. Jean wonders briefly what the appeal is for Eren, if he gets off on watching you take another man’s cock, bring another man near to tears with your warm, silken cunt. Does Eren enjoy dangling you in front of Jean until he’s forced to give in? Eren’s gaze lingers on Jean’s hands, threading through your hair, awaiting an answer.

“Yeah,” Jean says, not trusting any more words to his loose lips. They’ve already betrayed him three times now, saying yes when they should have been saying no.

“Good,” Eren responds simply, offering a small smile that, to anyone else, looks innocent. Jean knows Eren better than that. He watches as Eren’s hand travels up your bare leg, coming to rest on your upper thigh. You’re affected by it, such a simple touch, such a sensitive little body; he can feel you tense over his thighs.

Jean steels his jaw and forces his eyes back over to the movie. He’s got to stop playing these fucked up games of yours, it’s bad for him and he knows it. He hasn’t dated in months, not since you’d first pulled him into your little world, can’t bring himself to look at anyone else, can’t stand the thought of feeling anyone else’s skin under his fingers. His little crush has bloomed into full-blown lovesickness, and it would be best for him if he just stopped.

All of that ironclad willpower melts away in an instant when you let out a little moan.

Eren’s hand has snuck its way up to your shorts, nudging at the apex of your thighs. His focus is still trained on whatever reality show you’ve put on, completely ignoring the way you sigh under his touch. Jean’s cock twitches in his pants; this is his opportunity to hesitate, to say no, but he stays silent, only watching as you squirm in his lap.

“Eren,” your chastisement comes out as a breath. One of your hands comes to meet Eren’s, trying to push him away, but he simply swats your hand, shooting you a stern look.

“Behave,” Eren warns, eyes dark and dangerous. Jean’s learned that Eren’s mean to you, snappy when you put on your little attitude and fight back, but Jean doesn’t have the willpower. He holds you gently while he fucks into you hard, gives you anything you ask for.

You bite your lip and turn your head back to the TV, one hand coming up to pull Jean’s away from your head, wrapping your fingers around his. Jean’s breath hitches in his throat when you squeeze tight, back arching like you’re holding back a moan; Eren’s worked his way into your panties now, rubbing little circles over your clit.

“Look, Jaeger,” Jean makes a half-hearted attempt to remove himself, pulling his hand from yours and making all the movements to suggest he’s going to stand up, “I should–”

“What?” Eren cocks his head, as casual as if they’re discussing the weather. “Look at her, you really gonna just leave her there like that while I’m teasing her?”

Against his better judgment, Jean flicks his eyes down towards you. It’s a pitiful sight, your eyes already glossed over and staring up at him, wide and pleading, your bottom lip tucked in tight between your teeth.

“Jean,” his name comes out of your mouth, broken and already heady with arousal. That’s what snaps his resolve clean in two. You need him.

“What is it?” Jean hates the fondness in his voice, so glaringly obvious in front of your fucking boyfriend. Eren doesn’t seem to mind, though; he picks up speed, making you wriggle impatiently.

“Wanna kiss,” you whimper, reaching up towards his face.

“Don’t,” Eren stops Jean from leaning down, “she’s been bad today.”

“Is that so?” Jean rubs a thumb over your lips, frowning down at you. He can see the guilt in the way your brows knit together; oh, you have been bad, and you know it.

“Wouldn’t stop begging me for you, wanted to snuggle with Jeanie,” Eren raises his voice to mock you, slapping a hand against your clit and making you jump.

Jean’s face burns; is this it? Is this finally Eren telling him that you’re off-limits, finally deciding that Jean’s had his fill? And he’s going to rub it in his face by torturing you on Jean’s lap?

“Tell him,” Eren demands, another sharp smack landing on your cunt.

“Didn’t want to wait t-til you got home,” your face is already blotchy, eyes clouded with shame, “wanted Eren to text you and make you leave work.”

“And what did I say?”

“Be patient,” your voice wavers, Jean’s heart pounds in his ears, “and Jean would come take care of me.”

“So needy,” Eren tuts down at you, cruelly shoving a finger into your wet heat and instantly removing it, drawing a breathy whine from you, “see?”

Eren’s offering his finger to Jean, shining with slick, eyebrows lifted insistently. Jean narrows his eyes, cocks his head. What game is he playing at?

“What, don’t want a taste?” Eren’s eyes glint in the low light, taunting him. Jean leans forward hesitantly, lets the other man slide a thick finger between his lips. You always taste so good, salty and tangy; Jean feels a groan rumble deep in his chest. The corner of Eren’s mouth curls ever so slightly. Whatever game he’s playing, Jean’s losing. “Touch her, but no kisses. She has to behave if she wants that.”

You pout, bottom lip still wobbling where you’ve pushed it out, but you arch your back a little, straining your tits against your tank top. Jean knows you well enough by now, knows you chose that thin little top and didn’t wear a bra just for him, just to tempt him. You have been bad, but Jean doesn’t care, could never care when you’re looking up at him all sweet and needy. But he knows better than to disobey Eren’s rules, for your sake. Eren will edge you for the rest of the night, make himself cum, and leave you out to dry.

“Jean, please–”

“Sh,” Jean shushes you, sits you up just a little so he can pull your tank top over your head, “I’ve gotcha. Just be good for us, alright?”

You nod and smile drunkenly as he cups your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers. They’re one of his favorite things about you; he can’t resist leaning down to place sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along your hot skin, lick around your nipples just light enough to tease. Maybe Jean can be a little mean too.

“More,” you gasp, fingers coming to clutch at his head, “more, I– oh!”

Jean’s eyes flit down your body to see Eren’s now got two long fingers shoved knuckle-deep in you, curling them fast enough to make you cry out, roll your hips up towards him. If he looks closely, he can see a wet patch forming on the crotch of your shorts; it makes his cock throb. He’s never met a woman that gets as wet as you, filthy at the slightest touch.

“You’re so messy,” Jean voices his mind without exactly meaning to, pulling himself from you so he can prop you up against his chest and let you look at the mess you’ve made. You give him a little whine of protest, tilting your chin up towards him, searching for his mouth.

“Please, I want–”

“I know what you want,” Jean thumbs at your lip, “he’s mean, isn’t he? Making you behave yourself when all you want is a little love, isn’t that right?”

“Mhm,” you manage to shoot a scathing glare at Eren that makes Jean chuckle, makes Eren smack your thigh hard enough to echo throughout the room.

“Stupid little slut,” Eren growls, moving his fingers faster, “you’re just all about Jean because he spoils you, aren't you? Someone has to make sure you behave yourself.”

Jean’s eyes widen; Eren’s clearly in a mood today, and Jean hopes it doesn’t have anything to do with his presence. Eren’s a mixed bag most times. Jean’s overheard him making soft, quiet love to you, little praises slipping out from the crack in his bedroom door, but Jean’s also watched Eren edge you to the point of tears, spit on your cunt, spank you until you bruise. Maybe Eren’s jealousy finally is getting the better of him, Jean thinks, maybe he just can’t say no to your insatiable appetite, and he is actually pissed that you had begged him for Jean.

“Jean,” you’re clutching at his shirt, moaning pathetically as Eren sucks harsh bites into your thighs.

“Did it to yourself,” Jean shakes his head at you sadly, “you know better than to make him mad.”

“Shut her up,” Eren nods his head at your mouth meaningfully, “I’ve heard enough out of her for today.”

It takes some awkward repositioning, but Jean’s able to pull his cock out, tap it against your tongue where you’ve already got your mouth hanging open, drool pooling on his lap under your cheek.You shove yourself up with some effort, and take Jean almost to the hilt on your first go, slurping lewdly around him. Jean nearly chokes.

“Oh, you are needy today,” he hisses, threading his fingers through your hair, making sure his view remains unobstructed. “That what you wanted? My cock in your throat?”

You manage a stiff nod around him in between the muffled moans you’re letting out around his cock; Eren’s added his thumb to the mix now, pulling your panties to the side so he can swipe at your clit.

“She was fuckin’ drooling for it earlier,” Eren says, meeting Jean’s eyes with a smirk, “should have seen her, all pouty and sad because her Jeanie wasn’t here. Pathetic.”

In the small part of Jean’s brain that’s still able to think rationally with his cock nudging at your gag reflex, he’s frowning in confusion. Eren is pissed at you because you were begging for Jean, and here he is spurring Jean on in fucking into your throat. It makes no fucking sense, really, but Jean’s getting his dick sucked, and not for the first time, by the woman he’s been pining after for months, so who is he to question it?

“Mmph!” You squeal, mouth too full to form a real sound, hips canting up violently towards Eren. Eren laughs, low and cruel.

“Aw, I think she’s gonna cum soon,” Eren pulls his fingers from you, a tear slips down your cheek. “Pity.”

Your cry of protest is whimpered by Jean standing up slightly, angling his hips to plunge as deep as he can. He’s only had his cock in your mouth a few times, but Jean’s intuitive. He knows how much you can take, knows exactly how far to push you before it’s too much.

“Don’t whine, baby,” Jean huffs, “just gonna make him more mad. He won’t let me help you if you don’t behave.”

“Look at you,” Eren runs his hands along your thighs, leans down to press a chaste kiss over where you’ve ruined your shorts, “being a good girl for us. S’that what it takes for you to behave? Need both of us?”

If Jean’s not mistaken, the garbled sound you make around him is one of agreement. The thought goes straight between his legs, brings him far closer to the edge than he’d like to be at this point. He pulls your mouth off of him, making you pout.

“But–”

“I know, I know, you want it,” Jean rubs an affectionate thumb over your cheek, “but you want me to fuck you, too, right?”

“Please,” you breathe, reaching down to wiggle your shorts off. Eren’s face lights up.

“Wanna show him your little surprise, baby?” Eren’s tugging at your shorts now, ripping them off and tossing them to the sides. He puts his hands under your arms, yanking you out of Jean’s lap and throwing your chest over his shoulders. When Eren’s hands come to your cheeks, spreading them so Jean can see, Jean’s heart nearly stops. There’s a little pink rhinestone glittering where your asshole should be– a plug, keeping you open and ready. Eren meets Jean’s eyes, daring. “She picked it out just for us. Want us both, don’t you? Nasty little thing.”

Eren punctuates his statement with a grin and a sharp slap to your ass that makes you jump, nod desperately from behind him. Jean reaches a cautious hand over, puts two fingers around the toy and pulls lightly, just enough to watch it move in you. You whine; he can see your empty cunt flutter.

“Can she take it? Both of us?”

“Oh yeah,” Eren brushes off Jean’s concern, “been using all her little toys for weeks, making me practice with her. She can take it.”

With that, Jean’s standing, padding into his room and knowing Eren’s following with you still tossed over his shoulder. His head spins; you, his precious little toy, have been stretching yourself out, getting yourself ready to have two cocks in you? The thought nearly makes Jean moan to himself, imagining how tight you’ll be all stuffed full.

Eren’s thrown you on the bed none too gently, stripping as you look up at him, hearts in your eyes. He stops midway through pulling his clothes off to grab your chin, offer your pleading gaze to Jean.

“Why don’t you ask him, hm?” Eren coos, looking between you and Jean with a filthy grin on his face. “Ask him again, see if you’ve been good.”

“Will you kiss me, Jean? Please?” Your voice has that thin, fucked out tone to it that drives Jean crazy, makes him want to make you cry.

“Yeah princess, I’ll kiss you.” He leans down, takes your soft mouth in his, Eren never releasing his hold on your chin. Jean can taste himself on your tongue, smiling appreciatively at the salty tang. Eren rips you away far too soon, pressing his mouth down on you far rougher than Jean had. They balance each other well, Jean thinks, the gentle caresses and the sharp slaps that make you come undone under them in a way neither of them can manage alone.

“On your knees, brat,” Eren sneers, the shred of tenderness that he’d grabbed your face with long-gone, “convince us to fuck you stupid.”

You nod obediently, sliding off the bed and onto your knees, reaching for Jean. He steps forward, letting you hold his cock in your little hand, rub up and down while you take Eren in your mouth. Even your hands are enough to drive him crazy, so soft and supple around him; Jean’s head falls back.

“Fuck,” Eren sucks a sharp breath in between his teeth, “that’s it, baby, take it.”

Something possesses Jean, what it is he can’t be sure, but he reaches a hand down to the back of your head, pushing you further down Eren’s length. He half-expects Eren to chastise him for it, but Eren groans, long and loud, a sound that simmers in Jean’s stomach.

Jean watches the contractions of Eren’s abs, trails his eyes up to where the other man’s strong chest is heaving, a strange, hot sensation trickling through his center. It’s too late to look away once he realizes he’s been caught, but instead of finding amusement when he meets Eren’s eyes, Jean finds something else entirely.

Eren’s looking at Jean the way he looks at you, all lusty and uninhibited. Jean nearly scowls at him, everything he’s internalized over the years rearing its head in his chest, but Eren stops him with a hand wrapped around the back of Jean’s neck. In the blink of an eye, there’s a set of lips on his, a sharp tongue licking into his mouth.

Jean lets out a wanton, strung out moan that Eren swallows, echoes with one of his own. Jean notices that your head has stilled under his hand, and he shoves you back onto Eren’s cock mindlessly, relishing in the way Eren’s mouth stutters against his own when you retch around him. He trails his hand, tentative and exploratory, up to Eren’s hair, grabs the bun at the back of his head and pulls. Jean’s surprised at the heat beneath his palm; he’s always known Eren runs hot, especially after the last few times he’s fucked you. It’s only natural to brush arms, brush legs during the act, but Eren’s skin is scalding, damp with sweat under his touch.

It’s not Jean’s first kiss with a man, not by any means, but he’d never guessed that Eren, headstrong, manly, unreadable Eren, had this in him. Had it been hiding there for all of these years? Was it a spur of the moment thing, that Eren would look back on and cringe at later?

Doubt getting the better of him, Jean breaks first, pulls away with a quiet smacking sound. Eren’s eyes are just as wide as his feel, searching Jean’s face for any sign of regret, of satisfaction, of something. A loud whine from below distracts them both, and whatever odd moment was forming is broken as they look down at you.

Your chin is covered in drool from where you’ve been choking on Eren, gagging around him, and your eyes are glossy and needy. Jean’s cock gets impossibly harder.

“What?” Eren taunts. “You jealous that I kissed your Jeanie?”

“Yeah,” you pout, brows knitting, but Jean can see the arousal written into your features. You liked it.

“Get up,” Jean says to you, voice hard and unforgiving.

You follow his instruction, standing on shaking legs. Jean can see the snark in your eyes before it comes out of your lips. “What, finally going to pay attention to me now?”

As soon as the words have left your mouth, Eren’s hand is around your jaw, wrenching it open for him to spit into your mouth. “Don’t fucking talk back, not if you want to cum.”

“You were doing so good,” Jean rubs a hand over your hip, guiding you to lay on top of him on the bed, “what, are you that desperate for us that you can’t mind your manners?”

“I just–”

“Want both of your slutty little holes filled?” Eren scoffs, kneeling on the bed behind where you’re straddling Jean’s hips. “Yeah, we know.”

You frown and lean down to Jean, searching for consolation, but he shoves you to sit back up, admiring the way your chest bounces with the movement.

“Can’t be nice to you all the time,” Jean’s voice is low, dangerous, “not when you act like a brat.”

He can see the heartbreak on your face, revels in it, but it’s short lived. Your eyes fly open as Eren works the plug out of you, tossing it to the side and wrapping an arm around you to take your neck in his hand. Eren looks down at Jean, exchanges a conspiratorial smirk with him.

“Why don’t you ask Jean if you can sit on it while I work you open, hm?”

Your eyes glisten pleadingly at Jean, but something’s come over him. He realizes he likes drawing those begging moans out of you, likes holding you over the edge between the tips of his fingers. Jean shrugs.

“Show me how bad you want it.”

While Eren reaches over to scrounge around for the lube in Jean’s bedside table, you start to work your hips over Jean’s cock, slicking it up with how wet you already are. Jean grabs you by the back of the neck, pulls you to him to drink down the little whimpers and moans that escape your lips.

“Jean, please,” you sigh into his mouth, “I need you.”

Jean’s resolve wavers, but he stands firm. “Beg.”

“I–” hot tears of shame are welling in your eyes now, Jean wants to lick them from your cheeks– “please, I need it, need your cock in me, please, Jean.”

“What do you think, Eren?” As Jean asks the question, it strikes him just how often he refers to the other man simply as “Jaeger”, not by his first name. In his mind, ‘Jaeger’ is his friend of many years, and ‘Eren’ is the man that he had just inexplicably, passionately kissed. “Think she’s earned it?”

“Let’s see how she takes my fingers,” Eren replies, slicking his fingers up with lube and forcing two into your already-stretched hole with ease, making you squeak in surprise, “oh fuck, she’s already so stretched out for us. Yeah, give her what she wants, let her warm up to it.”

“Thank you, t-thank you,” you stammer, out of your mind with want as Jean slides the head of his cock into you with a long groan.

“Shit,” Jean growls, holding onto you tight to prevent your hips from pushing down on him too fast, filling you up too quickly with Eren’s fingers hard at work in your other hole. Maybe he is the nice one, after all. “So fucking tight for me, aren’t you?”

“Mhm, for you,” you hum, lip tucked in your teeth.

“Think she likes you more than me,” Eren smirks from over your shoulder, working a third finger into you and making your jaw drop. For his part, Jean bottoms out, hissing as you pulse around him. He can feel Eren’s fingers scissoring through your walls, eyes rolling back into his head at the sensation.

“You okay? Is it too much?” Jean notices one of those tears that had sparkled in your eyes earlier threatening to fall, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at him. You look beautiful, all stretched around him and fucked out, mind blank.

“It’s a lot,” you nod, sniffle, “but I’m okay, I can take him. Want to, want– need you both.”

Eren’s eyes darken, and Jean can feel him remove his fingers, feel the accommodating stretch of your walls able to breathe again. Jean takes your hips in his hands, rolling you along his cock to grant both of you some of the friction you desperately need. You mewl, leaning over to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Eren’s lining up behind you, running a soothing hand over your back.

“Deep breaths, baby,” Jean instructs you, holding you to his chest. You sniffle and nod into his shoulder, muscles tense and twitching.

“Tell me if it’s too much, alright angel?” Eren leans over to press a surprisingly tender kiss between your shoulder blades and gives Jean a signaling nod, which Jean returns.

Jean can feel it the moment Eren pushes in, feel your body stretching itself to accommodate both of them. You squeal into the skin of Jean’s shoulder that you’ve taken between your teeth, and it hurts, but he lets you, rubbing circles on your lower back.

“Doing so good for us, baby,” Jean hums, pressing his lips to your ear, “too much?”

You shake your head, whimpering as Eren pushes in further.

“God, she’s– shit, it’s so fucking tight,” Eren growls, jaw clenched and a little vein protruding in his neck from the effort of holding himself back, reining in the part of himself that just wants to snap his hips forwards into you.

“Yeah, she is,” Jean chokes out, feeling suffocated by the way you’re pulsing around him, by the pressure of Eren’s cock shoving at him. He’s not sure where he ends and where the both of you begin, if there’s even any separation between his skin and Eren’s and yours anymore.

“Feel so– full,” you hiccup, nails digging into Jean’s shoulders. Your watery voice makes Eren pause, rub a hand over your back.

“You doing okay, baby? How you feeling?”

“Feels….” you take in a deep, heaving breath, “good. Feels so good.”

Eren grins, something feral. “That’s our girl. So good for us, yeah?”

“You like being full, hm?” Jean can feel a smile mirroring Eren’s on his face.

He doesn’t miss Eren’s choice of words. Our girl. And you are their girl, you love being full of them. Of course you do. You’re their insatiable little plaything, so good at taking them in each of your holes. You love it, you love them.

“It’s– fuck, I’m in,” Eren’s staring at where you’re all connected. Jean wishes he could see, but the tightness of you around him is enough, the way he can feel Eren through your thin walls, pressing against his cock. Eren pumps his hips experimentally, and all three of you moan in sync.

“Pl-please move, Jean, fuck- no, Eren, just–” you’re babbling nonsensically, music to their ears.

“We’ve got you,” Jean hushes you, fucking his hips up into you and cutting you off, “just sit tight and be our good little girl, alright?”

“Oh g-god.” Your words wrench from you in a sob, jolting with the thrust of Jean’s hips up into yours. It takes some work, but soon enough, they’re pumping in and out of you at the perfect pace, synced up so you’re never empty, not for long. You’re wailing, voice scratchy from all the crying you’ve already done that night, clutching onto Jean like he’s your last lifeline.

“Feels so fucking good,” Eren grits out, digging his fingers into the flesh of your hips, “so good for us.”

“Not gonna last long, not like this,” Jean agrees, sitting you up so he can see you, see your wet cheeks and your open mouth, “so pretty like this, aren’t you? All stuffed full?”

“She loves it,” Eren growls over your pathetic, shaky moan of agreement, landing a smack on your ass, “fucking loves us, don’t you baby? Tell us, tell us how much you love it.”

“I-I love it,” you manage, voice wrecked, “love you— fuck- love you both so much.”

Jean’s eyes widen, roll back in his head a little. You’re so perfect, obedient and willing to take both of them, let them abuse your holes. The thought makes him bite down on the inside of his cheek, not willing to be the first to break and ruin this perfect moment.

“Jean, I– shit, I’m gonna cum soon,” Eren pants, pupils blown wide and mouth hanging open when he meets Jean’s eyes. “Make her cum.”

Jean nods determinedly, somehow finds the presence of mind to slide a hand in between your slick bodies, swiping at your clit insistently. Your body blooms for him, back arching as you throw your head back against Eren’s shoulder. He feels you clench violently around him, knows you’ve already been on the edge since they started with you, knows you won’t take much goading to break for them.

“That good?” Jean forced out through his clenched jaw, trying to keep pace with Eren amidst your vice-like grip on him.

“Yes, so fucking– oh my god, J-Jean, I’m– Eren,” you’re babbling, close to the point of hysteria, eyes blank and teary. Jean’s free hand wraps around your hip, grabbing hard at the flesh there. He’s so gone he barely catches it, just barely, but he notices Eren’s hand. Eren lays his palm over Jean’s, deliberate and steady, grabbing onto the other man’s hand and squeezing down. Jean meets Eren’s eyes, fucked out and hooded.

“Come on,” Jean rubs faster, harder, his eyes flitting back and forth between yours and Eren’s, “show us what a good fucking girl you are for us.”

Whatever was tethering you to your sanity falls away, and you cum harder than Jean’s ever seen, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as your muscles lock up, legs trembling on either side of Jean’s hips. He grips your hip harder, trying to maintain a pace so you can ride your orgasm out on top of them. Eren follows quickly behind you, biting into your shoulder with a loud, long groan. When Jean feels Eren’s cum leaking out of you, feels the mess they’ve made between your legs, he falls over the edge too, slamming your hips down into his and grinding up into you with a moan.

The three of you collapse into a heap of limbs and sweat and stickiness, chests heaving and muscles twitching. Jean can feel the burn of Eren’s skin and the slick, plush give of yours, enveloping him from every angle, and for the first time in months, he lets his eyes flutter shut, letting himself enjoy the simple pleasure of touch.

But nothing is forever, and after a few minutes, he feels you begin to stir between them, mumbling about needing to go to the bathroom. Eren reluctantly rolls off the bed to help you to the bathroom to clean up, leading you out on shaking legs. Alone again, Jean throws his hands over his face and sighs, deep and hefty.

He shouldn’t be here, he should have never let you both goad him into this.

It occurs to Jean that he needs some air; the apartment feels suffocatingly small knowing that both of you are only a few layers of plaster and a door away. He pushes through regret and self-doubt, pulling his sweatpants back on and scrounging around in his laundry basket of unfolded, clean clothes to find a shirt.

“What are you doing?” Eren’s suddenly in the doorway, scowling at him.

“Going out.”

“You worked this morning. What, do you have plans or something?” There’s a clear note of annoyance in Eren’s voice, but Jean’s too exhausted and shaky to look into it.

“Jean?” You, Eren’s shadow as always, peer around his shoulders, a cute little furrow of confusion between your brows. “Where are you going?”

Jean nearly growls in frustration, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Out. I’m going out.”

He hates the way you flinch, grab onto Eren’s hand for stability in the wake of his snapping at you. Eren speaks next, but Jean doesn’t recognize his tone; it’s firm, but somehow, it’s lacking Eren’s perpetually angry intonation.

“Sit.” Eren’s got one finger pointed to the bed, ordering him as if this isn’t Jean’s own room. He drags you over behind him, plopping on the bed as if you all do this every day. Jean glares at Eren, softens his eyes at the way you’re looking up at him invitingly.

“We just want to talk a little,” you pat the comforter, smiling softly. That breaks him, and against Jean’s better judgment, he’s sitting where you’ve indicated, t-shirt still fisted in his hands.

“About?”

“We don’t want you to think– well, this…” Eren gestures his hands between the three of you, frowning deeper, and eventually sighing, “I don’t know how to say it.”

You pick up for Eren, smiling at him. “We don’t want you to feel like you’re out of place here, that’s all.”

Jean cocks an eyebrow. “In my own bedroom?”

“No, asshole,” Eren rolls his eyes, “with…with us.”

“What does that mean?” Jean’s heart nearly stops. A small, soft hand over his makes his breath catch in his throat.

“We’re not, like, experienced with this, so maybe we’re doing this whole thing wrong,” you look to Eren anxiously, who nods at you reassuringly, “but…we have room for you. If you’re open.”

“Like…” Jean barely trusts his voice to carry above a breath, “in what sense?”

“It’s not just sex,” Eren mumbles, flushing pink, “to us, at least.”

“We like you,” you clarify, smiling again, “and however you want us, if you want us, at least, you can have us.”

Jean blinks stupidly, looks to Eren to see if his face betrays anything, anything that could explain the conversation taking place, if it’s a joke, if he’s unsure. To his surprise, Eren looks up at him, green eyes earnest and burning into his, and takes the t-shirt out of Jean’s hands, giving one of Jean’s hands to you and taking the other for himself.

“It works,” Eren says, finding some conviction, “whatever you want to call it, this works.”

“For both of you?” Jean can hardly believe his ears, can hardly fathom the feeling of your soft, delicate little fingers and Eren’s calloused palms wrapped around his hands.

“For both of us. But…does it? For you?” Your voice wavers, your nerves betraying you.

“I mean, I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand it,” Jean admits, positive that his eyes are comically wide in the face of this new information.

“Me neither,” Eren shrugs, “but we don’t have to be so serious about it–”

“Not for now at least,” you smile at Eren encouragingly, nodding and urging him to press on.

“Not for now,” Eren agrees, squeezing Jean’s fingers ever so slightly, the smallest, most tentative reassurance, “we can figure it out later.”

“If you want it,” you bite your lip, looking up at Jean through thick lashes, “want us. We won’t be upset if you say no. No pressure.”

Jean thinks for a moment, thinks about everything you’re offering him. You, who he’s pined after for months, so beautiful and sweet to him. He thinks about sharing coffee with you in the mornings, holding you tight to his body and drifting off to sleep, letting you play with his hair. He doesn’t know if he loves you, but whatever he feels is pretty damn close to it, close enough to drive him crazy and keep him up at night.

And Eren. He’s been friends with Eren for near a decade now, known him for as long as he can remember. What this agreement means in terms of his relationship with Eren, Jean hardly dares to press, knowing how Eren is: flighty, argumentative, brash. None of that is written into Eren’s features now, though; Eren’s watching him intently, earnestly, chest stilled as if he’s holding his breath, waiting for Jean’s answer.

Something old and something new mixed together into something entirely unfamiliar.

“We don’t have to put a label on it now, or even go through the semantics,” Eren’s voice is spent, nearly breathless.

“We’ll give you some space if you need–”

“No,” Jean cuts you off, looking between you both, “no, it’s– it’s just a surprise, that’s all.”

Eren snorts. “How many times do we need to fuck you before you get the hint?”

“Eren!” You slap his arm, looking between him and Jean meaningfully. “Not really the time for jokes, is it?”

“I mean, fucking in the bathroom of Scout’s isn’t exactly wining and dining me,” Jean rolls his eyes. Eren laughs at that, unintentionally tightening his grip around Jean’s fingers and making Jean’s heart thud a little in his chest.

“You two are beyond annoying,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Eren and Jean exchange a wicked smirk.

“Regretting this already?” Eren teases you, digging his fingers into your side and making you giggle.

“Get over here,” Jean pulls you onto his lap, feeling emboldened to press a quick succession of kisses to your jawline, to your cheek. God, maybe he does love you, the weight of you in his arms feeling almost perfect. Eren leans over and tackles you both, tickling you wherever he can reach, Jean pinning you to his chest despite your protests and thrashing.

That’s what’s missing, Jean realizes. It’s not about you and Jean, or you and Eren, or he and Eren. He understands Eren’s bluntness earlier: the three of you just work, regardless of the weirdness of it all or the awkward conversations that lay ahead. It works, and for now, that’s enough.

Eren relents in his torture, scooting up the bed and dragging you with him, pulling Jean’s covers over you both like he’d done it a hundred times. Jean’s last little inkling of self-doubt perseveres, and he hesitates, until Eren tosses the covers on your other side back, patting the sheets meaningfully. Jean swallows his pride, swallows his insecurity, and pulls you into his side, very mindful of Eren’s arm tossed over both of your shoulders, of Eren’s fingers weaving absentmindedly through the hair at the nape of his neck.

And in the morning, when Eren mimics Jean’s loud snoring and you’re playfully throwing little crumbs of toast at them over the counter, the little voice in Jean’s head that had warned him to keep his distance will be completely silenced for the first time in months.

[famwhy]

Hobie Brown's Slang

Okay, here is a bit of criticism and advise for how to write Hobie Brown's (from Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse) speech patterns.

When I read fics on Hobie Brown, the slang that he uses is not AT ALL the type of slang he uses in the movie. Fics like to use stereotypical British slang like 'wanker' or 'gheezer' and while it is sometimes said, it's not used often by youth in the UK nowadays.

Instead, the type of slang he uses is called 'Road' slang or 'Roadman' slang. I believe it's a mixture of Jamaican and British terms (please do correct me if I'm wrong, I may be British myself but I don't know everything).

For example, in the movie, Hobie says 'man like Miles, my guy!' after Miles goes against the Canon event. He's basically hyping Miles up - the term 'man like' is often followed up by a name to (as said before) hype that person up and praise them, in a way.

Another example of him using road slang is when he calls Miles a 'youngen' - it's quite obvious what he means by it, he's basically calling him a kid. This term is usually used by people who are quite a bit older than the recipient. In fact, it was his use of this term that solidified my theory of him being quite a few years older than Miles and thus, of him not being as much of a potential love interest for Gwen as an older brother figure for her.

Now, how do you write road slang? By learning it through watching people who use it often and understanding the context.

Some real people you can watch and learn the speech patterns of Hobie Brown through include:

KSI (the youtuber)

Mo Gilligan (the comedian)

Babatunde Aléshé (also a comedian)

And a series on Netflix that I highly recommend you watch in order to really understand the way he talks (though the above examples are good ways too) is the series 'Top Boy'. Though, a fair warning that it's quite the violent series due to it being about UK gangs.

Please keep in mind that this post is NOT AT ALL made to attack writers or put them down for the way they write Hobie, it is only here to inform and teach you how to write his speech patterns properly because he 100% deserves the accurate representation.

Hobie Brown is an amazing character that made me so happy to see on screen because he actually seems like a guy I would know and be friends with in real life rather than a stereotypical depiction of a British person that you see often in media nowadays. I feel the same way about Pavitr and the way the movie didn't stereotypically depict South Asians.

To see both my ethnicity and nationality being accurately depicted in western media is just an amazing feeling that I wish to convey to you all.

Love, a very happy spiderman fan.

(Update: I now have a post where I write Hobie's speech patterns myself so you can also use that as an example if you wish. But again, the examples listed above are much better to learn from since my one post can only teach you so much.)

[spiderfunkz]

𖦹 ˖ ࣪ artist!gf headcanons

— characters : earth 1610!miles morales, gwen stacy, pavitr prabhakar, hobie brown.

— a/n : more atsv headcanons bc they r currently rotting my brain. again, these are just my opinions on what i think atsv characters would be like if their gf is an artist :) also this is not proofread oops

✶ miles morales :

lovessssss drawing with you and making sketches of each other!! anniversaries would be so cute where you two exchange the you've made drawings. oh!! he'll ask you out on dates where he takes you to his 'secret spot' near the subway and draws your ideas as graffiti art.

he would be so impressed every time he sees your sketch book and compliments you every time by saying how lovely it is and how it should be put in a museum. he would also love learning new art techniques with you and learning your art style.

✶ gwen stacy :

lots and lots of 'whoas' and 'omgs' when she sees you draw. also loves looking at your new art and asking you a butt load of questions, "how long did this take you?" - "how did you even do this? it's so pretty it's unreal." - "i bet you could draw with a crayon and still make it beautiful."

you would have your sketchbook filled with drawings of her, maybe when she's smiling, playing the drums, in her spider-suit, or just her laughing (exactly like that one scene with mile's sketchbook).

✶ pavitr prabhakar :

would be in awe watching you do your work, not saying anything and just admiring you because he doesn't want to disturb you & would literally make a :O face when you show your finished art pieces.

he would be ur number one supporter and showers you with compliments when you finish a piece & he would literally be speechless if you show him all of your art pieces and drawings - "i love that one, ooh and that, and that! i love all of your drawings they are all incredible." AAA he would also love to learn how to draw with you, learning new techniques and styles (i feel like he would be a quick learner and you two would be such a cute duo).

✶ hobie brown :

would definitely say "paint me like one of your french girls!" while posing dramatically in front of you & would volunteer as a model for your art pieces.

towers over you while you draw and takes a peak at your sketchbook while saying something that'll 100% distract you and make you flustered - "that looks really good darling, how did i end up with such a talented girlfriend like you?". his apartment walls would be filled with your drawings because he just loves them so much.

[lazyjellyfish300]

Miguel O'Hara parenting head canons

I randomly thought of this and thought it would be fun as a new young mom myself to make this list. These are just things I pulled from my brain of what I imagine he'd be like as a parent. Reader is his s/o.

TW: minors DNI, slightly suggestive, breeding, child free, infertility, parenting, childbirth

----------

Pt 2 as well:

-His kids come first over everything. In the universe where he's a single dad to Gabi he definitely takes a longggg time before introducing anyone he's dating to Gabi. He wouldn't introduce them to her unless he's 10000% committed and sees a future with them.

-One of the best ways to crack through his rough exterior or grumpy moods is to ask him about his kids. Especially if you have kids of your own, start talking about them and he'll slowly forget what he's doing and listen/calm down (proof: when Peter brings Mayday to work) and when it comes to talking about his own kids he'll rattle on and on.

-He goes the extra mile on Christmas for Gabi. He's normally cheap/frugal asf but not on Christmas. Gets her a stocking and buys so much stuff it barely fits in the stocking.

-Gabi loves stuffed animals. Her bed is like piled high with squishables and squashmallows. Miguel knows each one's name.

-If you don't want kids/child free or can't, no problem. As long as you love Gabi as much as he does Miguel doesn't have issues. He still loves you & you two still share a lasting love based around love of travel and adventure and he's extremely sensitive to your feelings. (Aka he nearly fought your aunt at Thanksgiving for asking when you two are going to have kids)

-if you have kids already/want kids ooooh he's trying to get you pregnant yesterday. And he absolutely adores your kids as much as his own. He never uses the word "step," when describing his step kids. He's a little intimidating at pick up but he's civil with your ex, mostly for your sake. He loves the family life with you and is on board for whatever fun craft night/family game night/movie night ideas you have. He supports you if you have a career or if you want to stay home with the kids he is behind you 100%.

-He definitely does not have McDonald's money. (We have food at home)

-He believes in the theory of Gentle parenting but has a hard time applying it. (catches himself being kind of hard on the kids but he's determined to break the cycle and be the father he never had, always apologizes to the kids)

-He thinks Disneyland is way overpriced and over hyped but he loves going purely for yours and Gabi's reaction to the magic. He carries Gabi on his shoulders and carries her in his arms when she naps after a long day at Disney when you head back to the hotel.

-He does tea parties/plays dolls with Gabi 1000% but he forgets to stay in character when playing with dolls and Gabi has to remind him to use his girly voice.

-learned how to do hairstyles for Gabi and always braids her hair/does ponytails for her soccer games. He's a bit of a perfectionist at it and has made them late for games in the past because he wants to get it right.

-If you want kids, you want like 2 or 3 max and he goes along with whatever you want because it's your body your choice, but if it was up to him he'd want like 5 or 6.

-He definitely gets a little too carried away at the kid's sports games and got into an argument with the ref at Gabi's soccer game once, but after you had a stern talking to him now he just mutters under his breath after every call.

- He's at every single doctor's appointment and asks the pediatrician way too many questions.

- He loves taking Gabi and the kids trick or treating on Halloween while you stay warm at home with the younger kids/babies. He definitely dresses up in a scary costume and sits on the porch really still like a statue and scares the kids.

- He completely misses the fact that all the moms at soccer practice and school pick up are flirting with him.

-When the kids are sick he's the first one to offer to call off work to stay home. If you don't work then he'll take a sick day to be with you and the kids.

- he's actually a really good cook, but when it comes to packing the kids lunches he's more of a simple man (pb& j or turkey sandwich with carrot sticks, goldfish, and milk) whereas you go all out with the star shaped fruit, cutting the crust off the sandwiches and handwritten notes.

- he's a workaholic but he'll miss work or a meeting for Gabi's choir performances any day.

-overly excited for the science fair at Gabi's school and is involved with her project/signs up to be one of the judges.

-he's at every single parent teacher conference

- He has a no cell phones at dinner rule, and is big on talking with the kids, asking about their day and school.

- if you want kids, he's at all your prenatal appointments and saves all the ultrasound pics and cried when you told him you're pregnant

-he completely passed out on the guest couch for like 5 hours straight in your hospital room after your delivery because he was awake all night with you tending to you and the new baby, helping you to the bathroom with your postpartum undies and changing the baby's diaper

-blood doesn't bother him at all, being the scientist he is he asks the doctor a lot of questions and is comfortable watching the medical procedures while you're in labor.

-he babies you when you're pregnant and occupies the kids so you can rest/won't let you go anywhere by yourself/carry anything heavier than 5 pounds.

-definitely cries at his daughters wedding but complains about the cost of everything through the whole planning process.

-also gets teary at the kids graduation, brings in noisemakers/giant posters even though the principal said not to.

[heartfullofleeches]

How would the janitor bang their darling (fast food)? Like where and intimacy not specifically what's between the legs

Bold of you to assume this touch starved loser can even fuck their darling. They get overwhelmed just from the thought of seeing their darling naked- hell, they can barely hold your hand without risking a heart attack. You have to be extremely blunt with them for them to know you're even interested in them romantically. If and I mean if things ever got the point where you two were dating and they knew you were 100% down to sleep with them, I imagine The Janitor would lean heavy on the romantics for the first time (and probably everytime unless you expressed the desire for otherwise i.e a quickie in the janitor's closet on break)

Spruce up their apartment, invite you over, treat you to a meal that probably isn't made of human meat like may or may not be at the restaurant- They've never been with anyone in any sense or even knew they could have gave these feelings so they're pretty nervous. They're some research, but then it's really happening and you're naked in front of them and they forget everything they learned because you looks so amazing and they'll probably fuck this up somehow-

Needless to say there will be a lot of learning to do on their part. Sullivan is the type to ask for a status update every now and then even once the sexual side of your relationship is further established. They value your pleasure over theirs and kinda afraid of hurting you with the things they've done in the past. They always feel the need to hold onto you whether it be gripping your hands or your waist. If you say that special four letter word there is a high chance of them coming right on the spot. Cannot handle that much stimulation at one time. I see them as fairly quiet in bed, but their mind is going a mile a minute with all the praise and affection they want to shower you with if only they knew how to stop after they started.

I really want to write Janitor's first time with reader now what have you done.

[dunne-ias]

The Barkley Marathons just had its first female finisher ever.

If you do not know what the Barkley Marathons is, then it is time you learn, because it is not just an ultra running race, it is INSANE.

But I'm so happy. They said it was getting less and less likely any woman would ever finish it (it gets harder each year), but now Jasmin Paris has done it.

Here are some things that make the Barkley Marathons unique:

The length is unknown. It's at least 100 miles, but who knows? Not even the participants, because they're not allowed GPS-trackers. There are five loops in total.

They're allowed map and compass. That's it. No GPS watches.

On every loop, they have to find about a dozen books, tear out a page that matches their bib number and bring them all back, or they don't get to continue onto the next loop.

There are only 40 people participating every year.

How to apply? I don't know. Most people don't. It's a secret to everybody actually.

The race fee is super low, but you have to bring a license plate and give to the race director as part of your registration

They don't get to know exactly when the race starts. The race director will blow a conch during a 12h window and then it's an hour until the start. Instead of a starting gun, he'll light his cigarette, and then the race is off.

The max amount of time is 60h, which doesn't give you time to complete the five loops and also catch some sleep in between loops.

It's been going for almost 40 years, and up until the 2024 edition, ONLY 17 people had finished EVER. That's how hard it is. Most years, no one finishes at all.

This year, there were five finishers, and like I said, for the first time, a woman finished. It's really impressive.

[marlenesluv]

Home. (OP)

request -> “hi! if it's not a bother, could you do a oscar piastri x adhd reader (very hyper and bubbly), from Brazil (Paraná) but she speaks a bunch of languages, and is studying mechanical engineering, also she's 18, thank you ❤️”

note: lovey love love this sm. oscar is so sweet, not enough oscar love out there fr. i might start writing for him more?.. happy to write some brazilian reader too, i love this. i made this to skip the launch, just some cute stuff of them dating! anyways, i hope you enjoy :)❤️

warnings: none!!

fc: rafaella consentino

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: y/n.user, landonorris, and 289,024 others

oscarpiastri: back to her roots 📍Paraná, Brazil 🇧🇷

view comments…

oscar.y/nfanpage: oscar 🤝 turning into a y/n fanpage

y/n.user: happy to be back and show you around😊🫶

|> oscarpiastri: we walked 15 miles in one day, how much more to see is there??

|> y/n.user: so so SO much more

|> oscarpiastri: i’ll only walk my feet off for you🫶

f1.edits: they are so sweet, they give me a toothache 🥹

y/n.wagpage: my favorite wag 💁‍♀️🙏

pastry.fanpage: brazil is so beautiful, enjoy your break with your gf oscar!

landonorris: no invite?

|> oscarpiastri: next time

|> y/n.user: OO YAYAYA i’m such a good tour guide

|> landonorris: oh no, im gonna have to walk 100 miles, aren’t i?

|> oscarpiastri: 😁😁

f1.updates: i love me some summer break content. and when it’s oscar & y/n? NEED

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liked by: oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, and 173,135 others

y/n.user: finally got a break from building stuff and finals🫠 agora posso mostrar ao Oscar minha casa

translation (i used google so this might not even be correct but pls bear with me): now i get to show oscar my home

view comments…

oscarpiastri: i love you💚💛💙

|> y/n.user: aww, i love you too💚💛💙

|> user7: i’m- stop. this is so cute

y/n.fans: multilingual queen👸

francisca.cgomes: you guys are the cutest

|> y/n.user: kikaaaa <3

f1.wags: just wondering, does anyone know what other languages y/n speaks??

|> y/n.fanpage: portuguese is her main language, then english. and she also knows japanese, french, italian, spanish, some german, and i think she said she’s learning dutch!

|> f1.wags: howwww….

|> y/n.user: haha, you got them all! my parents thought i needed to know as many languages as possible, so i try to always expand :)

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liked by: oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 182,294 others

y/n.user: is he as good on a moped as he is in an f1 car…?

view comments…

lilymhe: i just cant believe you EXIST. you’re stunning

|> y/n.user: LILYYYYY 🥹😭 i cant believe YOU exist

f1andf2.wags: i love the way that all the wags are friends wtf🥹

|> wag.postsoff1: me tooooo

oscarpiastri: yes, yes i am

|> y/n.user: my kens job is vroom

|> francisca.cgomes: mine too!

|> carmenmmundt: wow! mine too, guys😇

user77: you beautyyyyy💛

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your instagram story:

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liked by: oscarpiastri, danielricciardo, and 199,246 others

y/n.user: back to the paddock fits😁 so excited to annoy the mclaren engineers while i do my coursework 😇

view comments…

oscarpiastri: they love you, it’s okay

|> y/n.user: i love gossiping with them☺️

f1.wagpage: cutest couple ever, STOP IT NOW

formula1updates: so excited for the paddock posts!!

oscary/n.ship: pls teach oscar some portuguese🙏

|> y/n.user: trust me, i’ve been trying. he’s getting somewhere

pierregasly: can’t wait for you to steal my gf again

|> y/n.user: is it stealing if she comes over willingly?🤨

editsforwags: the first look so good🤝

mclaren: excited to have you both back🧡

*liked by creator*

user04: 日本に来てください！(come to japan!)

|> y/n.user: すぐ！(soon!)

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[fumifooms]

"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

 Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

[luvjunie]

twirls my hair if you’re taking request uhhh— what about reader with tattoos like a full sleeve and piercings and maybe big hair like a fro, braids something that makes her stand out— basically she’s just real intimidating and popular too fast for her liking she just transferred school and the guys are trying to pounce on her but miles 42 is the one that catches her eye?

— a fresh start

pairing: e-42!miles x fem!reader

summary: it’s your first day at a new school, and surprisingly, making a friend isn’t as hard as you thought it’d be. wc: 1,853

a/n: changed this up a little i hope you don’t mind! 100% unintentional but when my mind wanders i follow it 😭

Back at Brooklyn High, you were always told by teachers that school wasn’t a venue for your ‘personal fashion show’, but that it was a place for learning. And while you agreed, it wasn’t your fault that you looked the way you did… Well, that’s a lie. But you loved your look, and so did your peers.

While your hair was big and somewhat distracting to others, your dad always told you it reminded him of what your mom’s looked like the first time he met her, so you never bothered to change the way you styled it, no matter how much you dreaded putting it in bantu knots or doing a twist out every three days.

As for your face full of piercings, that was all you. It was something your dad didn’t favor at all, and he definitely didn’t understand how it was ‘a way for you to express and be true to yourself’, but that was the explanation you gave him, and eventually he accepted it. Though begrudgingly— it was still acceptance, so you took what you could get.

The first piercing was your eyebrow, and you’d done it in your bathroom when you were fourteen with a safety pin. One look at yourself in the mirror made you forget all about the throbbing pain radiating from your face, and just a week had passed before you were already thinking of another. You swore to your dad that it’d be the only one, and that you just wanted to try something new; until you wanted to try your belly button, your septum, and both of your nostrils. After that, It’s safe to say that everywhere you went, attention followed.

Expressing yourself through your clothes and accessories was just a part of who you were. And back at Brooklyn High, you were proud of the way you looked.

But you weren’t at Brooklyn High anymore.

The uniforms were drab at Visions academy. Every girl wearing the same two articles of clothing as the other; the same sad story for the boys. And to keep it a buck, if you were comparing visions to your old school, the atmosphere here sure looked a lot like a jail. And if not for the small loopholes you’d managed to locate in the dresscode, it would’ve felt like it, too.

The searing heat of curious eyes followed you the moment you entered the building, and you began to wonder if choosing to stand out on purpose was the best idea after all. It seemed at Visions, that came naturally for someone like you.

For a few reasons other than the ones you could change in five minutes, you didn’t fit in here. Not in the slightest.

With a wavered sigh and your books glued to your chest, you continued on to your first block, tuning out the whispers that were far from hushed.

It took you a little longer than the six minute passing period to discover your History class within the ginormous fluorescent halls, and when you finally stepped foot into the dimly lit room and noticed the Crash Course video playing on the projector, it dawned on you that they were already well into the lesson.

Almost everyone’s head lifted to look at you when you entered. Almost everyone’s head but a kid who was face down, drooling on his desk, and another whose gaze remained welded to a sheet of paper the graphite of his mechanical pencil was scribbling against. The familiarity of crisp parts and blue magic-sheened cornrows stood out to you first, and a small sense of comfort finally washed over you— for a moment.

The video on the projector paused abruptly, and your teacher appeared to be the exact opposite of dazzled at your late arrival. Great.

“Nice of you to join us, miss…?”

“Y/n, sorry…” You cleared your throat and smiled more like grimaced apologetically, the chain clipped to the waistband of your skirt serving as an idle fidget. “Got lost, real big school.”

Mr. Benson, as it read on your printed class schedule, adjusted his glasses when he went to jot something down onto the paper below him. “Alright, y/n. You can sit next to…”

You watched as a few kids straightened up in their seats, attempting to look uninterested enough to play it cool, yet noticeable enough for the teacher to remember they existed and place your seat next to them.

“Morales. Raise your hand.”

The boy in question quietly clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, pencil clacking against the wood of his desk when he set it down. It looked like his concentration had been broken, and instead of raising his hand, he lifted his head from where it was damn near nose deep in whatever he was doing, and just stared at you.

His slowed blinks gave you enough grounds to take a gander that he was the ‘Morales’ in question.

A stunted breath and a silent nod later, you made your way through the aisle of desks and smoothly slid into the one a pin-filled backpack had just been removed from.

You’d be crazy to not let your curiosity get the best of you, especially now that you were this close to where the brooding energy was coming from. So once your teacher unpaused the video, you stole a peek over at your new desk neighbor, and noticed that his right arm was now strategically placed over the geometric sketches on his paper.

Seeing as it was already mid-year and you were new to the huge school, you figured it’d be in your best interest to try and make at least one friend. You opened your mouth to introduce yourself to him, until a light tap on your shoulder from behind stole your attention.

“Umm, excuse me?”

You turned around to meet the freckled face of the boy who was sat behind you.

“Hm?”

“Yeah, sorry, but I can’t see over your hair. It’s kinda… in the way.”

It wasn’t necessarily what he said that bothered you, it was how he said it, and the fact that he barely stifled a laugh when he did.

Reclined in his chair with his arms crossed, Miles fought to hide the scowl threatening to twist his lips. The desks in this class were staggered, specifically to avoid the very issue of heads blocking the line of sight, meaning there was no way your hair was actually hindering his view.

“O-oh… Sorry, it does that. Sometimes.” Flustered, you nervously tried to press your hair down a little without ruining its shape, the one that took you a whole hour to achieve just this morning.

Miles assumed you were the girl his classmate was blabbing about just before the bell rung, remembering the brief yet detailed explanation of ‘fresh face, big hair, decked out uniform and kinda cute’. Poking fun at you must have been his pitiful attempt at flirting.

Miles suddenly spoke in your defense, eyes remaining on the screen in a bored daze.

“It’s not her fault you 5’2, James. Drink some milk when you get home, maybe you’ll have a growth spurt.”

You sent an inquisitive glance his way and kept it there. You hadn’t thought about what you expected his voice to sound like, or that the first time you’d hear it would be because of him defending you, but this was definitely a pleasant surprise. His voice was so smooth it put silk to shame, and it was a bit low, too, as if he’d just woken up a few minutes ago. Yet it didn’t sound as if he’d quieted his voice on purpose; something that led you to believe he was usually this soft spoken.

“Shut up, Miles.” James grumbled.

“Ain’t my fault you can’t flirt for shit. I’m tryna help you out.”

Some surrounding students close enough to hear the retort had snickered, and a laugh managed to leave your mouth before you could prevent it, resulting in a loud “SHHHH!” from the front of the class.

“That’s funny?” Miles’ hazel eyes floated over to you, swirling with mirth and pinning you in place.

He was joking, but his tone probably didn’t give off that vibe, seeing as you were gawking at him like a deer in headlights.

“I’m messin’ with you,” A small grin played on his face. “I’m Miles.”

“Oh,” an awkward chuckle relaxed your shoulders. “Y/n.” you responded quietly.

“Yeah… I know.” There was a hint of a chuckle beneath his voice. It seemed you’d forgotten that you revealed your identity to everyone just minutes ago.

But you couldn’t help it, you’d never seen a boy quite this pretty before, with lashes long enough to make you jealous and a smile you were certain owed its beauty to genetics, and not an expensive set of middle school braces.

He had six freshly done straightbacks with curved parts, and two clear beads hanging onto each tail that sat a little below his shoulders. It was then that you noticed the medium sized, gimmering stud he sported on his ear, and you deemed it safe to assume his other ear had the same. Cute.

Still feeling the heat of your eyes on his temple long after he’d averted his attention, Miles curiously glanced back at you, then teasingly nodded his head towards the front of the room.

“Pay attention,” he whispered, that same molten look in his eyes. “I don’t share notes.”

—

Class went by in a bit of a haze, to no surprise. It was extremely difficult to pay attention when the fear of your possibly-misshapen fro was on your mind. Today happened to be the one day you’d decided you didn’t need to bring your pick to school, the image of it sitting on your dresser emitting a disappointed sigh from you.

The tinny screech of chairs brought you back to the present, where class had been dismissed and students were shoving papers into their backpacks and shuffling out the doorway, all in a hurry to their next block.

Miles stood up from his seat, appearing to be in no rush.

“I like your hair, by the way.” he observed randomly. “Cool piercings, too.”

The compliment eased your nerves completely. It was genuine, as if he knew you were still thinking about what happened earlier.

“Thank you,” Tucking your notebook away, you looked up to see him sling his backpack over one shoulder. “for defending me earlier, too.”

“S’ no big deal.” he shrugged, but it was, to you.

“Cool braids, by the way.” you parroted through a lighthearted smile.

“Thanks,” Miles’ eyes panned to the floor when he felt himself grin. A habit of his you’d already managed to pick up on in your short knowing of him.

“I’ll catch you later.” He deemed with a two-fingered salute, other hand burrowing into the pocket of his pants.

Rising to your feet, you gave a small wave and watched as he headed out into the crowded hallway with the others; feeling a little less nervous to come to history class tomorrow.

[merowkittie]

ATSV INCORRECT QOUTES ☆ !!

This includes x reader and character x character (not in a ship way)

Miguel: Do we have any orange juice left?

Hobie: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*

Hobie: Sorry, we’re all out.

☆

You: *sees someone doing something stupid*

You: What an idiot.

You: *realizes it's Miles*

You: Wait, that's MY idiot!

☆

You: Pavitr ... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Pavitr: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

You: …

You: I wrote sanitize, Pav.

☆

You: My life is a mess.

Miguel: You relax, go get a beer.

You: I don’t want a beer.

Miguel: Who said it was for you?

☆

Peter B Parker: I've connected the two dots.

Miguel: You didn't connect shit.

Peter B Parker: I've connected them.

☆

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy.*

Gwen: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Hobie: No, Gwendy. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

Gwen: No, that’s not part of it—

Hobie: Where are they? You know what.. If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Miles: I would want to live with no legs.

Hobie: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Miles. You don’t do anything.

Gwen: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Hobie: *pumps frantically*

Gwen: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Hobie: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Pavitr: How’s that gonna help you?

Hobie: I will divide and then count to it.

Pavitr: Right.

Gwen: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Hobie: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

☆

Pavitr: I told Hobie to grab snacks for everyone.

Gwen , looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Pavitr, Hobie, and Miles raise their hands*

☆

*In a horror movie situation*

Hobie: I've got no service in my phone here.

Pavitr: Shoot, my battery just died.

Gwen : Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.

Miles: Guys, my phone is a book.

☆

You, to Gwen : We had a date!

You: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

☆

Hobie: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

You: I wrote you a poem.

Hobie, already crying: You did?

Smth simple until I post an actual fic <3 im sorry for keeping you guys waiting sm I have terrible time management 😭

[kaoyuuji]

adopting a kitty !!

boyfriend! s.gojo x non-sorcerer! f!reader - . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁adopting a kitty headcanons ! . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖”How are you? I’m doing okay Unlike my heart, that feels like it’ll explode” . ݁ ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ 🎧

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ on what felt like the hottest day of the millennium, gojo satoru was inside his house, enjoying a nice cold popsicle. Despite the boiling heat suffocating his body, he was in a peaceful state. Simply enjoying his lazy afternoon on the couch. that is until his beloved partner came home from her day job… with a white kitten in her arms.

⋆𖦹.✧˚ She tried to sneak past her lover, as if he didn’t hear her come inside. “andd where are you sneaking to?” — She froze. “i thought you were sleeping!” He shifted his body to look back at you, and sees the baby kitty in your arms. His eyes widen.

“andd what is that?!”

“a kitten.. i only wanted to bring it inside to give it some water!” — “really?” — “no..(*ﾉ▽ﾉ)”

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ of course he didn’t even bother arguing against you keeping it, he’d never deny you anything!

“as long as it doesn’t claw this face.. it can stay.” were his only conditions ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ ..

⋆𖦹.✧˚ Gojo-Jr is the name y’all(gojo) chose, i mean the little kitty looks just like him! Big blue eyes and the fluffiest white hair, and the prettiest face! Truth be told, he’s ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა excited to raise this kitty than you are !! “What if it’s a girl?” You asked — “Let me have my moment (name)!”

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ You have sooo many photos of Gojo and Gojo-Jr sleeping together! You’ve never seen your boyfriend more at peace while sleeping, you can tell how much peace this baby kitten brings him. — And the two of you are proud parents, you take many photos of Jr and show all of them off to anybody in a 5 mile radius.

⋆𖦹.✧˚ Gojo is so attached it’s as if it’s his real child :> They’re always sleeping together, Gojo-Jr lovesss to nuzzle in the crook of your lovers neck, or the middle of his lap. Your favorite part of a long day is coming home to seeing your boyfriend resting peacefully with a baby kitten in his lap.. a very cute scene!

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ The oneee thing Gojo can’t stand about Gojo-Jr is the amount of hair he sheds. “(name) we have to take Gojo-Jr to the vet. This can’t be normal!” He’s constantly complaining, but he always quickly forgives his baby. I mean look at it!

⋆𖦹.✧˚ Yes Gojo bought a cat leash for the kitten. And yes he 100% plans on using it when it grows up. “We have to get its shots before it can go outside!” — “The pet of the strongest can handle a few fleas (name).” — “?!?”

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ Unfortunately Gojo-Jr got fleas after its first day outside due to its fathers recklessness (￣ ￣|||) .. Of course he took care of his pet with the most expensive vet care, your orders! Ever since then Gojo has learned his lesson too.

⋆𖦹.✧˚ And yes for halloween he did buy Jr a itty-bitty mask just like Gojos, and YESS he did show off the many pictures to his students the day after.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡ Megumi is 100% Gojo-Jrs babysitter when the two of you are busy. He doesn’t mind of course, anything for you (If it were Gojo asking he'd deny immediately. jkk!) Megumi sends pictures of Jr every other hour. (per Gojos request) , and after spending a day with the kitten Megumi understands why the two of you love it soo much! Despite him being more of a dog person >_>

⋆𖦹.✧˚ in the end, this baby kitten became an official member of your family! Anddd this might be the closest to having a real kid the two of you will get to anyways (￣ω￣;)

[sanhwaism]

bf!ateez and that one specific habit they do that highlights their love language

pairing ⟡ bf .ᐟ ot8 x gn .ᐟ reader

genre ⟡ established relationship, romance, fluff

author's note ⟡ haaaaapy valentine's day 💌☁️ not long ago i have reached 100 followers eeek ^_^ so so grateful for every single one of you!! take this as my gift for both this milestone and valentine's day <3 (the specific habit of theirs will be written in italics just so it can be easier to spot hehe)

k. hongjoong — quality time

ah yes, the busy and very hardworking captain :,)

he's aware of the time spent in his studio; composing and producing music are in his nature after all!

so he feels very thankful that you are understanding and always there for him to cheer him up or reassure him that he doesn't have to feel guilty even when he's pulling all nighters there

yet he still feels bad deep down

at the same time he can't abandon his work

so every chance he gets — and i mean EVERY — when he's not that overworked he makes sure to learn about what you're into so he can spend time with you in a way which you'd enjoy the most

whether it's a new game you're into, or a tv show or a book or

the moment you mention it ONCE???? be sure he's taking a mental note and paying the closest attention to it

because he acknowledges that it will be useful for later

no matter what it is, he'll try his best to pick up on it so you can have a great time together

"oh is this the new video game you started playing? guess what i actually got into it as well so we can play it together now!! :D!"

"oh i know you told me about this book you're reading so i bought a copy as well and i started it whenever i took breaks at work!! let's talk about it!! :D!"

sobs

he's genuinely so thoughtful

so yes, knowing how much time he spends away from you makes him want to learn more about your interests so the moment he has you back in his embrace, he will make sure to repay you in the sweetest way possible!

p. seonghwa — words of affirmation

the type of boyfriend that always makes sure you know how great you're doing and how proud he is of you :(

he wouldn't go a day without praising you

if he is away from you because of work, expect a very early morning message from him in which he wishes you a good day ahead, that you will do great no matter what and he hopes you get to eat some yummy food in the meantime

and then later that day more encouraging words to keep you motivated and to also remind you that he loves you dearly

sobbing again

he wants you to tell him every detail about your day so he can praise every single effort you're making out there, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is

he'd tell you that just thinking of you gives him enough energy to go throughout the day

and he'll try his best to comfort you with his magical healing words if there is something you're going through

one thing about seonghwa is that he will validate your feelings no matter what. and that makes you feel so safe and appreciated and so so loved :(((

he's just comfort personified

he feels like hot chocolate served with marshmallows on top in front of the fireplace

if he's home and there are no miles that distance him from you, every single affectionate word that comes out of his mouth sounds even more soft hearted if that's possible

because not only does he know how to pick the best words and when to use them, but also the tone of his voice is just so soft and soothing

and now that no screen separates you both, his praises feel even more meaningful

he'd gently smile while caressing your cheek and whisper that he missed you so much and now that the day is over, everything that you have accomplished makes him so proud <3

j. yunho — physical touch

oh my god

PLEASE listen to me

when i say that i keep seeing those specific cutest clips of yunho that altered my brain chemistry

i mean it

they altered it so badly to the point where my opinion on his love language changed

everything clicks in your head the moment you realize that yunho has been doing this gesture to you after you two got more comfortable with each other

you walk baside him while holding his hand?

all of the sudden you feel his large, soft hand on the top of your head

he looks at you all smiley while you talk to him?

the next second his hand is moving towards the crown of your head, cutely ruffling your hair

you're eating and paying attention to the food before your very eyes?

headpat.

another headpat.

cute little soft headpat

is it the height difference that just makes him unable to control his hand from such sweet gesture?

probably

most certainly, actually

he just can't help it :( one look at how cute you look and you don't even get the chance to finish your sentence be–

yup. headpat!!!!!

it's never enough for him, there are times where he feels the urge to just start speedily yet gently tap the top of your head countless times while your head just bops up and down

the way people do with their pets when the cuteness aggression hits (please tell me you know what i mean)

if you dont i gotchu i provide with visual representation here! (volume warning!!!! its loud!!)

he finds that HILARIOUS and so adorable at the same time

he'd just start giggling and you can't help but enjoy his laugh and playfulness

but if he doesn't stop you're gonna get dizzy a bit so he'll recieve a headpat in return!

... just a more aggressive one

call it a cute bonk ^_^

emotionally prepare yourself not to get TOO affected by his sudden puppy eyes because how dare you do such thing to him :<

apologize with a forehead smooch and he'll get all shy and so cutieful

k. yeosang — acts of service

your personal trainer angel fairy dreamy looking like boyfriend

fondly sighs

yeosang's love for you is so gentle and thoughtful

he's your safe haven

his best way to express his feelings is by making sure you're always taking care of yourself, especially reminding you daily to take your supplements and vitamins!!

one day while you were cuddling him on the couch, you expressed your desire to have a more balanced and healthy lifestyle because he inspires you to do so

that was the moment a big shiny lightbulb lit up above yeosang's head

because he had the perfect idea how to help!! :D

the next day you'd already have in your hands a cute storage vitamin box that he got for you where you can organize your vitamins by days so it can be easier for you :(

of course he has one as well

he is always the one that helps you buy them once you run out

and he'd try his best to do his research based on your preferences and what seems to work best for you

when you tell him how much of a big difference they've been making and how much more energetic you feel, his smile melts your heart

he gets all bashful and giggles to himself, waving his hand as if he doesn't consider that he has done a lot

(well i consider eating him in one bite)

after all, that's what a good boyfriend should do! no biggie!

but yeosang has no idea how much it means to you; for him to always check up in you, to be your daily reminder just in case you forget about the vitamins, to diligently help you achieve the healthy lifestyle you strive for

c. san — physical touch

everyone please act shocked

of course it's physical touch

i feel like i'd commit a crime if i didn't pick it

he's just a cute clingy cat :(

you figured out his love language quite fast, a little bit after you have made your relationship official and gave him your consent

he was shy at first

VERY shy

at first he could feel satisfied enough even with just your hand in his, or a timid hug

honestly he just wanted you near him!

but after some time when both of you got more comfortable with each other and after lots of showers with affection,

he started attacking your cheeks in the cutest way possible

every time he would have you near him, you'd see him suddenly leaning towards one side of you

next second you'd feel the softness of his cheek touching yours

and not only touch

but he would push himself even closer to you if that's possible, smushing your cheeks together while he's pouting

as if he wants to fuse both of your bodies into one because having you like that against him?? clearly isn't enough

also starts gently rubbing it against your own cheek, humming to himself because of how nice the feeling is while his eyes are closed in content

with time you got used to it and even started to like it and look forward to it

(every time i see clips of him doing that to other members i can't help but giggle)

he's just the cutest <3

no one cats the way san cats

s. mingi — quality time

the type of boyfriend that if he could, he would attach you to his hip like a lucky charm forever and ever

because you always bring him luck, inspiration and hope whenever he has you near him :(

he feels a bit lost in your absence, always looking for ways to hear from you one way or another

so a lot of times when you two would blissfully share each other's space, mingi would ask you to attend his dancing practice, so you can witness what impressive moves he came up with and what choreographies he has been working on ^^

he is truly sososososo talented

and you'd just watch him with your lips slightly parted, amazement written all over your face as your eyes would follow the way his flexible body moves like water, with such calculated and striking motions

or other times, when he'd willingly share his personal space with you in his studio where he worked on so many new instrumentals and demos that might be useful for the group's future releases or his solo projects

every minute he would turn his head towards you just so he could catch a glimpse of your face expression

and he would smile to himself as he'd gaze at the endearing way you enjoy the rhythm and overall vibe of the music

his eyes would start sparkling in the dim lighting as you praise his efforts and works

and the biggest, cutest smile would adorn his bare face

sobs mingi.. mingi!! ^__^ mingi :3 MINGI!!!!!!!!

from that moment on, he only grows more confident to have you partake in any type of project he's crafting

you soon realize that you're the only one that gets this treatment

that's how big of an effect you have on song mingi. and he loves you dearly. always share your feedback and space with him. pretty please with a cherry on top <3

he said that not me

j. wooyoung — BITING gift giving

sorry let me get serious

WOOYOUNG.

this man emanates love through every single pore so it was SO hard to pick only one love language

but it had to be done!

he's typically in his sugar baby era

but when it comes to you????????

i hope you're prepared to get spoiled ^^

his love for you is just too strong

but so is his credit card!

even before both of you confessed to each other, wooyoung had been giving you subtle hints that he was having a crush on you

and a lot of his hints were consisting mostly in him buying something for you

you eyed a cute plushie through the shop's window?

"waa, wooyoung, this plushie is so cute don't you think!!!!"

wooyoung thinks that he is buying it for you!!!!!

and you know what

he's getting two plushies actually, because they remind him of you and him

once he steps out of the shop, he hands the plushie to you with the cutest smile plastered on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes

"look, it's us," he exclaims as he brings his plushie close to the one in your hands and, to your utter surprise, makes them aggressively kiss.

(i just made myself SO devastated by writing that oh my god)

that was actually the day you two admitted having a crush on each other

from that day on, wooyoung's need to spoil you only grew

he'd want to match with you not only when it comes to a pair of plushies or ten, but clothes as well

not those that are SO visibly matching, instead more subtle ones that sort of compliment each other's looks and make you two match perfectly, like two puzzle pieces :,)

yes, wooyoung would be the one that would buy the clothes for you and surprise you with soooo many bags in front of your door, so excited for you to try on everything

he's whipped! can you blame him :(

you are his happiness and he wouldn't have it any other way, you deserve every single gift, end of discussion!!

c. jongho — acts of service

the acts of service king

i said what i said!!

also the king of americanos yup yup iktr!

speaking of americano coffee :>

in the beginning of your relationship with jongho, you'd often have dates at the prettiest, comfiest cafes in town

you'd both order your usual drink of choice, and whenever you'd get coffee, he would pay extra attention to what type of coffee is it so he can get a cup for you next time and impress you with it

not just coffee but shh this is about coffee shh

after some time, you took the relationship to the next level, moving in together;

and whenever jongho had to leave earlier than you for his schedule, the mornings would smell like the best freshly made coffee you had ever smelled

because your sweet and attentive boyfriend would try his best to copy the recipe of your favorite coffee drink

from scratch as well

grinding the best coffee beans he could find into grounds

using water heated between 195°F-205°F

aiming for a total brew time between 3-5 minutes

like this is serious for him.

because he NEEDS it to be perfect and he NEEDS to cutely brag about it and he NEEDS to make you feel very pleased!

"hey, y/n, would you like some coffee?"

"no, thank youuu, my boyfriend made me the best cup of coffee this morning !!"

he would also leave a lovely note next to the mug :(

what more could you ask for. seriously.

you're gonna have some people become jealous but hey! choi jongho THE choi jongho chose you <3 and you will always be the only one he would make coffee for, from scratch, at the first glow of the sunrise

you are the apple of his eye

the only apple he would never break in half

see what i did there :D

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ taglist: @yuyusuyu

{💌ྀི} masterlist.

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned what are the most mysterious places in the world

Marree Man – The fact that there is not a single witness to the creation of the Marree Man speaks to the absolute isolation of central South Australia. Somehow in 1998, one person or a group of people were able to create a 2.6-mile long line drawing of an aboriginal hunter, without being seen. In the midst of barren, arid land in South Australia, the Marree Man is the largest geoglyph and work of art in the world. Cut into the harsh landscape with lines over 115 feet wide and one foot deep, the towering Marree Man is easily visible from space. Thirteen years after the Marree Man was discovered during a flyover, little is known about its origin. Although we may never know the true origin of the Marree Man, it is certainly one of most intriguing modern day mysteries.

Chocolate Hills – Bohol Island in the Philippines during the dry season, you might notice what looks like thousands of chocolate kisses protruding from the terrain. These mysterious conical mounds are known as the Chocolate Hills. There are approximately 1,268 individual hills, their heights ranging from 100 to 160 feet, though the highest is almost 400 feet high. The hills, which are almost all symmetrical, consist of grass-covered limestone and turn brown during the dry season. Despite the abundance of hills, it is unclear how they were formed. There are multiple geological explanations ranging from oceanic volcano activity to limestone weathering. Numerous legends and tales also exist to explain the Chocolate Hills.

Giants Nest – In 1949 a geologist named Vadim Kolpakov discovered a large mound of limestone in the north of the Irkutsk region in southeastern Siberia. The cone is curiously shaped with a crater at the top and a small mound in the center. The mound is about 40 meters high and 100 meters across at the base. The smaller mound at the top is about 12 meters high. The crater was named Patomskiy, after a nearby river, but local residents call it “the Fiery Eagle’s Nest”. Since the discovery of the crater, there have been many theories as to what could have created it. For a long time it was believed to be a meteorite impact structure. Some linked it to the Tunguska meteorite, whose remains have never been discovered. But the crater does not resemble any other known meteorite site. Even now, the origin of the crater is not discovered.

Richat Structure – In the midst of vast, vacant Sahara desert, just outside of Ouadane, Mauritania, lies a 30-mile wide geological oddity known the Richat Structure, sometimes called the “Eye of Africa.” From space, this natural curiosity forms a distinct and unmistakable bull’s-eye that once served as a geographical landmark for early astronauts as they passed over the Sahara. Once thought to be an impact crater due to its circularity, the unusual formation is now widely believed to have been caused by the erosion of a geological dome formed by pressure from a bulb of molten magma below.

Plain of Jars – The Plain of Jars is a collection of large stone jars interspersed throughout the Xieng Khouang plain in the Lao Highlands. The stone structures are mostly made of sedimentary rock and, ranging from 3 to 10 feet in height, each can weigh up to 14 tons. To date, the origin of the jars is unknown, though archaeologists believe that they were originally used between 1,500 and 2,000 years ago. Many researchers have theorized that the jars may have once served as funerals urns or food storage. As local Laotian legend would have it, the jars were created by Khun Cheung, an ancient king of giants who lived in the highlands. It is said that Cheung, after fighting a long and victorious battle, created the jars in order to brew huge amounts of celebratory lao lao rice wine.

Giant’s Grave of Coddu Vecchiu – Giant’s or Tomba Dei giganti, are megalithic gallery graves that were used as public tombs during the Bronze Age. The massive gravestones were built by the Nuragic civilization, which existed in Sardinia from the 2nd millennium BCE. to the 2nd century CE. Despite the imaginative name, the sites were not the burial site of any giant; they were giant community burial chambers. Though we know the tombs had a funerary purpose, more questions remain. Little is known about the rituals or traditional beliefs that motivated their construction. Were they mass graves? Were they built to facilitate the journey into the afterlife? Since their existence has yet to be justified by scientific research, they have been credited to the supernatural, which has only increased their mystery. Legend also claims that yes, indeed, these were the tombs of powerful giants.

Zone of Silence – Pilot Francisco Sarabia was flying over a patch of desert land in Mexico when his instruments started to act increasingly odd. The man had to make an emergency landing in the middle of nowhere. Little did he know that this "nowhere" would be later dubbed "The Zone of Silence.” Weird radio silence isn't the only oddity of the creepy Zone. Like, what’s that weird trio that locals keep meeting in the Zone? They’re two men and a woman. Every time people see them, they’re wearing bizarre clothing that isn't suitable for a journey in the desert whatsoever. On top of all that, the Zone of Silence is known as a 50 km patch of deserted land where meteorites come crashing down on an eerily regular basis. On July 11, 1970, the US launched an ATHENA rocket from the Air Force base in Green River, Utah. The rocket was supposed to land somewhere in the area of White Sands in New Mexico. Instead, it went off course and, as if being pulled by some external force, crashed right in the heart of the Zone of Silence.

Michigan Triangle – Stretching from Ludington to Benton Harbor, Michigan and to Manitowoc, Wisconsin, the Lake Michigan Triangle has inspired numerous accounts of activity that are difficult to explain by rational thought. The mystery began in 1891, when a schooner named the Thomas Hume set off across the Lake to pick up lumber. Almost overnight in a torrent of wind, the Thomas Hume disappeared along with its crew of seven sailors. The wooden boat was never found. After the turn of the century, strange events happened at steady intervals. Of the more mysterious is the case of the Rosa Belle. In 1921 eleven people inside the ship, who were all members of the Benton Harbor House of David, disappeared and their ship was found overturned and floating in Lake Michigan. While it appeared that the ship had been damaged in a collision, no other ship had reported an accident and no other remains had been found.

Alaska Triangle – The Alaska Triangle is a place in the untouched wilderness where mystery lingers and people go missing at a very high rate. The area began attracting public attention in October 1972, when a small, private plane carrying U.S. House Majority Leader Hale Boggs, Alaska Congressman Nick Begich seemingly vanished into thin air. For more than a month, 50 civilian planes and 40 military aircraft plus dozens of boats, covered a search area of 32,000 square miles, but no trace of the plane, the men, wreckage or debris were ever found. Afterward, more planes went down, hikers went missing, and Alaskan residents and tourists seemed to vanish into thin air. In fact, since 1988, more than 16,000 people have disappeared in the Alaska Triangle, with a missing person rate at more than twice the national average. These disappearances are blamed on everything from severe weather to aliens, to swirling energy vortexes, to an evil shape-shifting demon of Tlingit Indian lore called Kushtaka, with no scientific explanation to the disappearances till today.

The Initiation Well – The Initiation well is 88 feet deep well located on the land of Quinta da Regaleira. Actually, it was used for ceremonial purposes. There is another small well near this well. Both these wells are connected by tunnels. The larger well contains a 27-meter spiral staircase with several small landings and the smaller well contains straight stairs that connect a series of ring-shaped floors to one another. The smaller well is also called the 'Unfinished Well'. The depth of this larger well is equal to the four-storey building, which becomes narrower on going closer to the ground. It is believed that there is some kind of light comes out from the well inside the ground and comes outwards. Surprisingly, there is no system of light inside this well, then where from this light comes, it is the secret. Anyone who comes to visit here, always raises the question of where the light comes from inside the well? Till today this secret is unsolved.

(Image Source : Google)

Thanks for Reading.