#Whatever Velma is supposed to be

[imjustheretoseetheprivateblogs]

Velma is Scooby-Doo with adult content. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island is Scooby-Doo with adult sensibilities.

The latter should always be chosen over the former.

[coolsvilleprincess]

They're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!!

I actually started this last month and then got burnt out and didn't finish it until now but whatever I FINISHED IT!! I finished watching Scooby Doo and Guess Who last month and there's a Wizard of Oz parody in the last episode and I just knew I had to do fanart, a legal requirement if you will.

I kept Shaggy, Fred and Velma's costumes from the episode the same but I thought Daphne and Scooby deserved costumes that were a bit more personal too. But who would the wizard in question be?? Well don't worry because I drew art for that too!!

I just can't stop thinking about a proper direct to DVD scooby WOZ parody film and how Van Ghoul should be the wizard, like in my head it's perfect.

[moonstruckme]

Ayyy I'm back with another request

No hurry on this, though, because you wrote me an amazing one not long ago and I want you to have some well-earned rest.

Anyway, can I please request a poly!marauders where the r has glasses and they see her without her glasses for the first time. I wear glasses and am mildly insecure about wearing them and taking them off. It's a vicious cycle😭 I'd adore having some lovey-dovey boys fawning over me regardless of my eyewear

Thanks a million

-🔮

Here you go my love! Thanks for requesting <3

modern au

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 925 words

You touch your middle finger to the bridge of your nose, pushing up frames that aren’t there. You feel immediately silly. How long will it take to kick that habit?

You have to admit, it’s nice to not have to worry about your lenses fogging as you stir the boiling water, or your glasses slipping off when you peer into the pot to check on the pasta. Still, this new freedom feels oddly like it’s come at a cost. It seems a bit ridiculous to miss your glasses, but it’s been years since you’ve been without them, and you feel sort of naked. Your face looks different in the reflection of the microwave, nothing obscuring the area around your eyes. It’s odd to see yourself so clearly without anything in the way. 

The door opens, Sirius’ voice booming. “You’ll never believe what happened on the way home.”

“What?” you call, and you can hear him kick off his shoes in just any direction, the thump thump thump of them bouncing on the floor. Later, Remus will straighten them with a patient sigh. Sirius’ footsteps head for the kitchen.

“This guy stopped me to ask for the time, and I told him, and he said—whoa. Hey baby, what’s new?”

You smile down at the pasta. “He called you baby?”

“I…what? No, you’re baby.” Sirius shakes his head before you look up and he realizes you’re messing with him. Never one to lose the upper hand, he fixes you with one of his suaver looks, eyes narrowing until they’re mostly gray and a smirk twisting his lips. “Don’t play coy with me, pretty thing. You think you can distract me from all this?” Triumph sparks in his eyes as you feel your face warm, and he presses on. “Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

You roll your eyes, opening a cabinet door between you to grab the olive oil. “It’s my Clark Kent plan. You’re not supposed to recognize me, so I guess it’s not working.” 

“Takes more than glasses to fool me, sweetheart.” His voice is silky smooth, but when you close the cabinet, he’s studying you. “It’s a good look. I like you both ways, obviously, but variety is the spice of life or whatever. Maybe we should get James to switch it up every now and then.” 

Remus emerges from down the hall, drawn out by your voices.

“Moons, have you seen this?” Sirius asks. “Someone’s replaced our girl with one who has working eyes.” 

“Not working eyes,” you correct him, self-conscious as Remus comes over, his eyebrows lifting slightly, “an old glasses prescription. I’m switching to contacts until I can get a new pair.” 

“You look nice,” Remus says, that mild, effortless kindness in his tone. “Does it feel different?”

“Weird,” you agree, taking the pot off the stove. Remus anticipates you, bringing the colander to the sink, and you give him a smile of thanks. “I feel like Velma from Scooby Doo, you know? Like my eyes look like tiny little dots without them.” 

Sirius scoffs, and Remus' voice is lightly chiding when he says, “They’re not. You look just as lovely now as you did with them on.” 

You barely have time to blush before Sirius is upon you, stepping into your space. “And,” he says, “let’s try this.” He kisses you, and you can’t claim you weren’t expecting it but you’re far from ready, grateful for the support of his hand at your waist as you feel your knees go a bit wobbly. Sirius presses his mouth into yours heavily, nose pushing at the skin of your cheek. When he pulls back, you feel like you’re reeling. “See? Much easier without those wide frames in the way.”

“You’re the worst,” you say, and Remus chuckles as James steps into the kitchen. You hadn’t even heard the door open. 

“What, without me?” he asks, taking in you and Sirius’ proximity and the wetness of your lips. Then hardly a beat later, “You’re not wearing your glasses.” 

“She needs a new prescription,” Sirius says, stepping away from you to pour the strained pasta back into the pot like nothing’s happened. “She’s wearing contacts for now.” 

“Whoa.” James moves closer, looking at your face like he hasn’t had the chance to really inspect it until now. “So when you get your new glasses, can we help you pick?”

Sirius whips around in his excitement, and Remus moves him aside before the pasta can start to stick, adding olive oil and the herbs you’d cut up to the pot. “I hadn’t even thought of that,” Sirius gawps at you. “We have to, it’ll be so fun.” 

You try to imagine it, your boyfriends focussing intently on your face as they assess which frames suit you best. It’d be the peak of flattery and awkwardness. “Okay,” you say, busying yourself with getting water for everyone. “I could use the extra input.” 

“I’m sure whatever you pick will look great,” James promises, taking a couple of cups from you with a kiss to your cheek. “If you want, you should pick up some more contacts while we’re there, too.”

“Maybe,” you muse. “But which do you like better—with, or without glasses?”

“Either way, dove,” Remus hums, dishing out his helping of pasta. “The differences are tiny, and it’s still you.” 

“Yeah, I can’t pick,” Sirius agrees, getting in line behind Remus. “You can do your Clark Kent bit all you want, but you’re gonna look like our gorgeous girl both ways.” 

[office-anomaly]

I mean, I’d love to hear your varcie thoughts!

(again, these are my opinions only. we can discuss to avoid fighting if ever there is disagreement lol ;w;)

READ UNDER THE CUT

ok so i will preface this by saying that everything is framed in the context of SDMI since marcie appears in that show only. vaphne and varcie are both good ships, but i prefer varcie a bit more due to how in sync velma is with marcie in a way that i think is even more aligned than she is with daphne in the show. and an extra element that i think seals the deal for me!

the first is the most obvious, which is velma and marcie being more aligned in interest and intellect. daphne is also intelligent, but it manifests more in her empathy and social navigation rather than hard knowledge and investigative method. this difference in approaching problems is important, and since marcie has the same (or near the same) informational understanding of the world as velma, this allows her to help velma in more straightforward ways. one example is how they were able to reverse engineer a tracking device from a chip they found, making investigation easier. given velma's one-track mindedness for mystery-solving, this could be read as commitment on marcie's part.

velma and marcie also both come from the same circuit. while different interests have not hindered velma and daphne from forming a meaningful friendship, it did affect priorities for them, the most obvious one being personal pursuits. having similar approaches to problem-solving allows velma and marcie focus on the task at hand most, if not all, the time. this lessens the likelihood of derailment and friction. a fair thing consider though is there's speculation here due to how brief marcie's appearance was in SDMI.

second is how they made each other better people in the short time they had on SDMI. as i said in a previous post that i like vaphne because V&D make each other better people, but we see this across the span of many shows and movies rather than being contained in a single storyline, so it feels less urgent and more stable. i felt like in SDMI, it was more of a given that V&D would be there for each other rather than a development i'm supposed to follow. in the case of velma and marcie, it was such a delight to see them develop into each other's support systems, even if its origins were off-screen in the time between seasons. personally, this feels more heartwarming because you see how big the changes are in velma when she came to terms with who she is and dropped whatever pretense she had about what she thinks she needs. it was refreshing and freeing to see her not want to change anything about marcie because she already knows that this is what she needs.

in marcie's case, she finally found a friend (and possibly more) in velma and doesn't feel like she has to put up walls around her. it's fairly simple since she's a secondary character, but it doesn't feel any less earned.

the whole rivals-to-friends-to-lovers thing is honestly so peak, i have to say.

third and last is...there's an element of reckless abandon that adds a lot of drama to this ship--which is ironic since both girls are shown to be very logical and grounded. what does this mean? you have to excuse me for being a bit delusional, but it reads like love to me. i think this is a unique factor of varcie, where our girls make dangerous, borderline bonkers calls in the name of love for each other.

we all know what happened at the end of marcie's arc, but there were other instances where she willingly laid down her own safety just so velma can achieve her goals. it almost feels kind of like a soap opera, where love takes over logic by way of self-sacrifice (figuratively and *sigh* literally). like you gotta realize how insane it is for marcie to say yes to going into the heart of Mr. E's lair to steal the disks for velma (and mystery inc). that is not a light favor to ask, and not a light favor to agree to!

on velma's end, she has to swallow her grief and see things through to not waste marcie's sacrifice. that is not an easy thing to do either. there's a tinge of madness happening in this ship that's driven by love and i think that's bittersweet and beautiful :( i try to be normal about this ship, but i fail most of the time lol

so yeah, that's pretty much it. thanks for being patient and reading my thoughts on varcie. i wanted to make sure what i'm writing made sense, so hopefully it does (??). if there are any violent reactions, let me know, we can talk about it :D

[double-0h-no]

Full Disclosure

This is my prompt fill for "kept secret" from the whump table, and 777 from the word count table, my personal nemesis this week.

Boy this was a bother. I don't know how the rest does it, landing on an exact word count, especially one below 1k. If brevity truly is the soul of wit, there's bad news for me. Huge thanks to @l219tj for supporting me so much, I don't think this would have gotten anywhere if you hadn't let me rant at you for lines on end. I hope you enjoy some domestic angst and finally some 00Q from my side.

CW this time around for vague discussions of medical issues, just to be on the safe side.

on ao3

A letter Q couldn't wait to open until he really was alone with no chance of James coming in starts a conversation Q would have wanted to avoid altogether.

"And you didn't think it prudent to tell me?"

Q didn't dare to meet James' eyes, so instead his gaze rested on the opened letter on their dining table.

"Do you know what I'd been telling myself these last weeks?", James went on. "I was so convinced you were either cheating on me, or selling off some blueprints, or following a lead on your own because M had told you to drop it, and a hundred more things, and at the same time I knew you wouldn't.

"Because I bloody know you, and you've never... You wouldn't do that to me."

And now he had, and there was no taking it back. Q knew he should have handled it better, knew that it was the one thing not to do with James. Keeping secrets. He swallowed harshly, but set his jaw.

"Did you really think you'd get away with it? Not telling me?"

And that rubbed Q the wrong way. "Get away with - James, I wasn't trying to - Of course I would have told you! If there was something to tell. But according to this letter," he grabbed it and held it up, "there isn't."

"Q, this is a gene test. I happen to know that this is one of the last resorts any doctor takes. They will take three MRIs before they do that. So for how long has this been going on?"

"Going - You make it sound like did have an affair!"

"Well, you do have an ex in Medical," James said dryly, and Q slammed the letter back down on the table.

"Are you serious right now?! I've been to - I don't even know any more how many appointments, and how many different specialists, and you seriously wanna call names now?!"

"And how am I supposed to know that?!" James matched his volume. "How am I supposed to know to how many specialists you've been?! I don't even know why you had a need to see them!"

"Well, good thing those tests came back negative, then, because it really can't be all that serious!"

James threw his hands in the air and started pacing. "Yes, just spiffing, because what I'm so concerned about right now is what the doctors say, or that you haven't told me!"

"What is your problem, then?!" A sudden movement followed by a loud clonk made Q realize that this time, he had shouted - and spooked Velma, who'd dashed to the safety of the cat tree. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Truth be told, he was beyond relieved that the test had come back negative, and all he wanted to do was cry with relief and ride out the endorphins, but now he was here, stuck in a fight with James because - well, because he'd fucked up.

"I'm sorry, James, I..." He took another deep breath. "When this first started, you were on a mission, and by the time you'd returned, Medical had jumped the first scare on me, and I... I both didn't want it to be true, and I didn't want you to worry for nothing. And it looks like it truly is nothing." When James didn't answer for several seconds, Q looked back up at him, but couldn't read the expression at all.

"I don't care about that right now, I -" James interrupted himself again and stared at him in utter disbelief. "How hard is it for you to believe that I might be worried about you?"

"Worried? James, those results are negative, there's no-"

"Is it gone?", James cut him off. "Whatever made you go to Medical in the first place. All those tests came back negative and we know that all that means is that Medical hasn't found a cause, not that you are alright. Because unless you are, yes, I am bloody worried."

Of course he wasn't. The test result had felt like a victory, as if this declared him healthy and all evil would fall away. But James was right. This only meant he still didn't know the cause.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Both for not telling you, and for snapping."

To his surprise, James snorted. "How often have I tried to hide an injury from you? I'm rather sure it was Bates who told you about the knee surgery. I'm still angry about this, but darling, it's... not the number one priority here. So. Do you want to tell me what's been going on?"

Q sighed, pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes and gestured vaguely at the sofa. "Alright. Let's sit down, I'll fetch some tea, and I'll tell you the whole story from the start."

[brittanytaylorbarber]

The Real Problem with Velma's Protagonist

A lot of people have criticized the titular main character of HBO Max's Velma as unlikeable, and I personally tend to agree with that opinion. It's incredibly easy to list negative qualities that the character possesses. She's mean, she's manipulative, she's self-absorbed, she's bigoted, she has gross habits (doing things like eating French fries out of the dumpster and vacuum and peeing in the shower at school), etc., etc., etc.

But the thing is there's a right way and a wrong way to have a main character with a lot of negative traits. For example, Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty is a far more well-received character, even though he too has a lot of negative traits. He's also selfish, manipulative, smug, gross, etc. You can have a main character who's a jerk but still functions as a great character.

The real problem with this version of Velma isn't that she's a bad person. That alone isn't enough to sink her. The real problem is twofold.

First, Velma's negative traits don't have the negative effect they should have.

Yes, Velma is said to be unpopular at school. Yes, a lot of people are shown reacting negatively to the things she says or even her mere presence. (She taunts a cop by saying she's out past curfew, and the cop's response is to mow her down with his car? Damn.) But, even though the show constantly jokes about how ugly she is, she still manages to woo Daphne, Fred, and Norville without even trying. All three of them, independently of each other, become attracted to her, and she does nothing to charm any of them. They just find her attractive even though she's said to look unattractive (how true that is is debatable), and her personality is revolting (through the combination of the aforementioned bad personality traits and gross habits).

Also, a lot of her reprehensible actions don't have the real life consequences they should.

For example, her first scene in the show (post-eye-rolling opening narration) is her attacking Daphne in the school shower with a lead pipe. Never mind the fact that this was done entirely unprovoked as far as I can tell. The real question is why the hell wasn't she expelled for this? A lead pipe to the skull can easily kill someone. Expulsion is the least that should have happened there. She did it in front of tons of witnesses. I don't know what exactly the penalty is for attempted assault with a deadly weapon, but Velma should absolutely spend a couple of years in juvie at the very least.

But, no. She gets away with trying to kill a girl at her school with nothing more than a slap on the wrist because Velma is less a main character in a story and more a vehicle for weird wish fulfillment. She fulfills the fantasy of getting to say or do whatever crazy, malicious thing you want to the people you hate without facing any serious consequences for it.

However, the second problem that sinks Velma's character is even bigger. For all her faults, Velma doesn't have any positive characteristics. I don't mean that the show intentionally portrays her as a complete monster with nothing admirable about her. I mean that the positive traits the show claims she possesses don't actually exist.

From the show's perspective, Velma's main redemptive quality is that she's supposed to be intelligent. We're supposed to forgive every terrible thing that she does or says because she's smart enough to see the world the way it is and get things done. And we've seen that type of character before. Rick Sanchez, Dr. House, even modern portrayals of Sherlock Holmes tend to have this kind of character. It's even a bit of a cliche. "Dammit, protagonist, you're a loose cannon, but you get results!"

But here's the thing: Functionally, Velma isn't actually smart.

Throughout the entire show, Velma consistently does and says really dumb things. Like, not just things that a genius wouldn't do but things that a person of average intelligence wouldn't do.

For instance, there's a rather infamous moment in episode four where the principal of Velma's school announces that the girls will be taking mandatory self-defense classes and Velma loudly asks why the boys aren't required to take classes on not raping girls. This is, objectively, a really idiotic thing to say. Rape doesn't happen because the perpetrators don't know it's wrong, and you can't really teach a class on how not to do something. Should we have classes on how not to steal? How not to break into someone's home? How not to murder someone? You apparently need to take that class because your very first scene in this show involved you trying to murder Daphne with a lead pipe.

Now, I have seen the argument that this moment is meant to be a joke at Velma's expense, which has some weight considering the principal's response to this inane question is pretty valid. (It basically boils down to "We don't actually have the resources to reverse thousands of years of rape culture.") Intentional or not, however, it still doesn't change the fact that it sabotages Velma's character. She's supposed to be the smartest character in the show, and yet she said something really, really dumb.

And it's not a one-off occurrence either. There's the montage (I think it's in episode two) where Velma is trying to sell drugs for Daphne. Never mind the fact that she has no in-story reason to do this, she's also shown to be really terrible at it, consistently driving potential customers away with her awful personality. After this disaster, Daphne essentially fires her from dealing for her, and Velma's reaction is a very angry and defensive, "WHY???"

Um, because you suck at it?

Seriously, she didn't sell anything, and she knows that. She's not even self-aware enough to see that she did something poorly, which makes her look pretty dumb.

I could go on and on and on. She doesn't solve the mysteries in the show through deduction the way any other portrayal of Velma would; the answers just kind of fall into her lap through contrived coincidence. She treats people terribly yet infallibly acts all shocked-Pikachu-face whenever they react negatively to her behavior, and all the opinions she loudly expresses at the top of her lungs at every opportunity are the most nonsensical, inane, vapid ramblings I've ever heard from the main character of a show from a major network.

It isn't just that Velma's a bad person. It's the awareness that the show is actively lying to us. Because even the good traits she's said to have aren't real. We're told over and over again, "Oh, she's brilliant. She's so smart! She has no filter because she tells it like it is!" But all we see is what she really is: a total dumbass.

[sxnyarostova]

symbiosis

do i put this on ao3. anyways this is my velma/roxie fic i hope you enjoy i love them

Roxie Hart reckons that she’s going crazy. Consistently oscillating between this ingenious high and manic low, she never stays in either mood long enough to feel comfortable, to feel like she’s riding the wave of life. Touring’s hard work, something that takes a toll on both the mind and the body– Velma’s words, not hers–, but there’s typically no problem she can’t deal with when she’s got liquor on her hands. 

A glass of gin and a splash of icy water on clammy cheeks usually calm her right down: the combination doesn’t help her very much anymore, though. She’s taken this remedy a little too many times, which explains her growing resistance to its calming properties. These days, the only thing that truly ties off the frayed ends of her psyche with a pretty little ribbon is, well… Velma. 

Roxie doesn’t love her: it’s become a mantra over these past months spent ducking in and out of hotel after hotel and theatre after theatre. There’s the occasional pharmacist and gin joint as well, but that doesn’t count. 

Instead of doing whatever love entails– because how the hell is Roxie supposed to know what love is when she’s never seen it in action?–, they kiss, they fuck, and Velma disappears somewhere between midnight and eleven in the morning, or at whatever ungodly hour Roxie wakes up after a night of debauchery. It’s an understanding they’ve reached, something as sure as the lacquered planks beneath her feet, an aspirin tablet swallowed dry that leaves an indent in her throat long after it's worked its magic. It is not love. 

Roxie never did very well in school, but she’s making up for lost time. Touring means that she spends a lot of time in a train carriage with Velma, who smokes, drinks, stretches, and reads magazines: there isn’t exactly a way for Roxie to kindle a conversation when Velma gets all quiet like that, so she’d gotten her hands on a book about animal behaviour, of all things, from a dressing room somewhere in Illinois

It’s interesting, with little tidbits about interspecies relationships. Take predator-prey, for example; it’s one she’d known all about even before she cracked open the dusty tome. It’s kill or get killed in America, after all: a girl has gotta have learned something after she’s fended for herself in this cesspool of a country for this long. 

But symbiosis is something she’s never heard of before, and she reckons after a brief skim of the chapter that Velma Kelly excels at whatever this professor is banging on about. Somehow, regardless of how the other is involved in her affairs, Velma Kelly always, always comes out on top; she’s the symbiote, the organism that gains something even if she’s leeching blood, leaving trails of her venom in somebody else’s blood, or spreading diseases left, right and centre.

It’s infuriating, but Roxie finds herself crawling back to Velma’s bed anyway. When you’re desperate for something to curb the restless ticks that haunt your head, you’ll do anything.

(She still remembers the panic that had risen in her throat after that first night, when she’d woken swaddled in sheets, sitting in the most fragrant viper’s nest known to man. Roxie had always known that she was going to spend her days scorching in hellfire– murder didn’t grant you a seat by Jesus– but she wasn’t ready to be indicted into the Devil’s inner circle. Surely there was something wrong and sinful about what she’d done with Velma the night before; surely there were scriptures in the Bible that forbade women from touching like that. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Velma had asked as Roxie scrambled for her robe, which lay in a crumpled heap of velvet on the hotel carpet. Despite her casual tone, an undercurrent of venom lazed beneath Velma’s words. “Were you faking those giggles last night, Roxie Hart? Are you considering leaving vaudeville and busting into Hollywood with your affected little squeals?” 

“I– no!” Roxie mumbled, blindly throwing her arms through their respective sleeves. “I’m fine. I really am fine. Last night was… new, that’s all.” She blinked, brushed a flyaway curl back into place, and offered Velma a blinding smile. 

“I thought new things didn’t scare you: always considered you a modern girl.” Velma raised an eyebrow as she stopped in front of the vanity, fingers deftly securing a double string of pearls around her neck. She fixed the clasp before latching her eyes onto Roxie’s ruddy complexion, her bob swishing by her ears like a beaded curtain. “I know what this is. You’re thinking about sinning, ain’t you?”

Roxie hated how Velma seemed to have her entire world and all its inhabitants figured out. Life was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle to Miss Velma Kelly, and every piece she put down always managed to lock into place. “...Well, don’t you ever think about sinning?” Roxie said, fiddling with the sash of her robe. “I don’t know how often you fuck blonde girls who you met in a jail cell, but—”

Velma guffawed. “I stopped repenting when I was twelve, sweetheart. The only compass I’ve got is my heart.” She gave her chest a gentle thump. “Whichever way it aims is where I’ll go, and if it’s pointing in your direction—” she threw her hands up as if to say ‘what the Hell’ “—then that’s where I’m headed ‘til it tells me otherwise.” 

“Oh,” Roxie said, brows furrowing. “Well, I– I don’t know. I–”

“Did you enjoy it?”

Roxie nodded, platinum hair bouncing earnestly around her face. 

“And did you feel like it was wrong when it happened?” 

Despite the condescension in Velma’s tone, Roxie found it in her to respond, shaking her head no. 

“I don’t see what the problem is, then,” Velma said, sitting primly atop the vanity. “You see, sex is a little like murder. If you felt justified when you did it, you don’t have to worry your pretty little head off about it.” She held up a flask, glinting silver in the noontime sun. “Care for a little pick-me-up?” )

Roxie wonders if Velma’s a drug of sorts or an exorcist with the blessing of some twisted God who likes helping murderesses stave off their guilty consciences. She’ll be tearing out her hair one moment and laughing the next: as soon as Velma’s teeth meet the lobe of her ear, the crowding voices that haunt Roxie’s head dissipate into nothing but malevolent spirits, melding into the atmosphere. 

She sighs, pulling another cigarette from the open box in her robe pocket and slipping it into her mouth. Velma, Roxie muses, needs her for the success of their marquee-lining act: she needs Velma for all the wrong reasons. Roxie uncaps the lipstick on her bureau, gives the base a tiny twist, and begins absentmindedly applying another layer: she doesn’t know why she bothers. Her lips are plump and red enough, and Velma’s practised lips remove any traces left after a night of performing. It’s just therapeutic, she supposes, the feeling of wax sliding across her lips. 

“You ready?”

The lipstick in her hand deviates from its trajectory and streaks across her face. “Jesus, Vel,” Roxie hisses, hastily rushing to a mirror and rubbing away the runaway line of red. “You ever learned to knock?”

“What difference would it make? I’d still come in regardless of your response,” Velma shrugs. She grins, pulls out a tissue from a nearby box, and passes it into Roxie’s waiting hands. She is striking in her costume, kitted out in a dark leotard with obsidian garters that blossom against her skin. “Well? Are you ready, kid?”

“Yeah,” Roxie grumbles. She gives her curls one last fluff, readjusts her own pearly pair of stockings, and tosses the tissue into the bin. “But– Velma? Before we go? Can you–?”

Her mind is running circles at the thought of performing. If she thinks long and hard about it, Roxie’s been a performer her whole life. She’s acted for her parents from the age of five and for her prospective beaus from the age of fifteen, doing the former out of fear and the latter out of a deep-seated desire for security. She’d acted when she was on trial, too, and frankly speaking, Roxie’s exhausted. 

She needs someone to remind her that she’s Roxie Hart, and the only person who can do that is Velma, with her kisses and brass comments and the behavior that she only displays when she’s around Roxie. Velma Kelly is Roxie’s savior; the lighthouse in the distance, the shore that Roxie longs to find after hours spent in the water. This is symbiosis. 

Velma pecks Roxie on the cheek without another word. 

[orithereticent]

You asked me my headcanons but what are yours👁👁

Okay, this is going to be long!

Fred is autistic. He is also the ‘dad’ friend. He will do just about anything to make his friends happy.

Daphne’s parents have left her with a pretty bad trauma response to people fighting. She hates sitcoms for this reason specifically. She loves her parents, but they scare her. When her anxiety gets too bad, she tends to seek out Shaggy and Scooby. They watch movies with her until she calms down. 

Shaggy is asexual and grey aromantic. 

Velma is a lesbian, the only reason she dated Shaggy was that she assumed that Shaggy was what she was supposed to want. She reevaluated after getting to know Marcie.

Cassidy is bi, while Ricky has only ever really dated Cassidy. 

Ricky and Cassidy have had an on and off relationship since a few years after they left Crystal Cove. 

Ricky and Cassidy both call in favours of one another. For example, Cassidy will bring him along to events where she doesn’t feel safe being by herself, Ricky will take her to corporate events where plus ones are allowed so that he doesn’t have to talk to people. 

Judy spent a considerable amount of time in high school trying to set up Cassidy and Ricky, but Cassidy was too shy, Ricky was too dense, and Pericles was actively sabotaging Judy’s efforts.

Cassidy has intense night terrors. She actively tries to avoid anyone finding out.

Ricky liked the kids, which is why he helped them out more than anything. He honestly liked them until season 2 when the curse took a tighter hold. Cassidy liked the kids, and her guilt at hurting them kept the curse from consuming her. 

Sheriff Bronston Stone, despite openly opposing the kids, lets them get away with  A LOT because he knows that they’re good at whatever it is they do. Like he’s caught them doing super illegal stuff and just shrugged it off. 

The craft store employees in Crystal Cove know who the villains are before anyone else, “Hey Jodie, remember that guy we sold like 20 yards of red scale cosplay fabric?” “Yeah? He spent like 500 dollars?” “That’s him ain’t it?” “Oh 100%” “Should we call the sheriff?” “Nah, he won’t believe us.”  @whateverfloatsinmybrain and I joke about this one frequently.

Brad and Judy tested their traps on Ricky when they were teenagers.

Ricky, when he needs to talk to Cassidy and they aren’t on speaking terms/he can’t get ahold of her, he will just… kind of show up. Like how he just kind of hides in the bathroom of the saloon. Worst time was when Cassidy was in college and he was hiding behind her dorm room door when she got back from class, and Cassidy hit him with her books so hard she knocked him out. 

Cassidy is a professionally trained dancer. 

The original mystery incorporated regained their memories shortly after the universe reset. 

Cassidy was the first to regain her memory, having remembered how she died. She was watching the ocean, having never been afraid of the water before, she felt terrified, and couldn’t explain it. Then she remembered. Then it was Ricky. He had been having nightmares, and when Cassidy came home, terrified, but not telling him why, something in his brain clicked. Brad and Judy remembered at the same time, while they wondered why Fred was refusing to answer their calls.

Brad and Judy divorced shortly after the universe ‘reset’, and Fred still refuses to speak to them. 

Cassidy still runs K GHOUL in the reset universe. 

Cassidy contacted the new Mystery Incorporated while they were in their first semester, subtly implying that she remembered, which led to them finding out that all of the original mystery incorporated remembered. They became closer with Cassidy and Ricky after that, because they didn’t trust Brad and Judy. 

After the universe reset, Daphne, Fred, and Shaggy didn’t feel comfortable around their parents anymore. They weren’t the people they grew up with. They would stay at K GHOUL when they were in town.

[sunflowersand-bees]

Mr. Old Man Cop Goshpin or whatever his name was literally called Wednesday Velma. He called her Velma. How am I supposed to believe that she likes boys now?

[darkness-and-books]

Mummy?

Chapter 1: This Morning’s Newspaper

Scooby Doo Victorian au

⚠️: none

word count: 626

Summary: When a well liked and trusted stable boy goes missing in a wealthy neighbourhood, a few well off young ladies and gentlemen (and their dog) see fit to do some… investigation.

“Oh dear, Miss Blake, look at this,” Miss Velma Dinkley said as she passed the newspaper across the breakfast table to Miss Daphne Blake. Miss Blake looked down at the paper in her hands for quite some moments before prying her gaze away to look once more at Miss Dinkley.

“I don’t believe I understand what I’m meant to be looking at,” She said, setting the paper back in front of her breakfasting companion. Miss Blake took up her tea once more as she awaited an explanation of whatever it may be in the paper that elicited such a reaction from Miss Dinkley.

“Here,” Miss Dinkley opened the newspaper again and skimmed the page for the article she had previously been reading. Holding a finger to a headline that Miss Blake could not see from her vantage point, Miss Dinkley began, “Stable boy in East End disappears,” Velma glanced once more to Miss Blake, seemingly awaiting a reaction that wasn’t coming.

“So?” Miss Blake asked, her thin brows pinched together and her head tilting up in a way that told of her disinterest. “Servants disappear all the time, usually found in a poor house or pub in a few days,” She said, picking up her floral patterned teacup and taking a sip.

“So,” Velma started, slightly mocking Miss Blake’s apparent lack of compassion. “I happen to know this one,” She said, bringing herself around the breakfast table to show Miss Blake the drawing in the paper, “See?” Velma said as she pointed down at the picture below the bolded headline.

“He does look a bit familiar, though I don’t believe I’ve ever known him personally,” Miss Blake conceded slowly as she continued further studying the picture.

“Well, if you knew that young man better,” Velma began as she dropped the paper on the table, “You would know him to be a very responsible man, he’s not one for drink and takes his duties rather quite seriously,” Miss Dinkley lectured. She sighed, taking her spectacles in hand and rubbing where her spectacles had sat previously. “Charles, he just wouldn’t be in a poor house, he’s far too proud for that sort of place,” Velma said.

“I’m sure he’s around somewhere,” Miss Blake stood, putting a hand on Velma’s shoulder to assure her. “And if by some chance Charles happens not to be around, I know this rather sharp, bespectacled, young lady who will find him before the police will even have a lead,” Miss Blake smiled down at Velma.

“I’m sure you’re right, he’s quite probably fine,” Velma admitted, “But I still think we should call on Norville and Frederick, just to see what we do or do not find,” She said, turning back round to face Miss Blake, hoping to convince Miss Blake to indulge her concerns.

“I suppose we could nip round to see them, and I’m sure Scooby could use the walk that our meetings usually entail,” Miss Blake reasoned as she walked off to gather her hat and gloves. “Though you know we’ll have to walk, Fred will want to show off Brandy and Dolly, as though we haven’t seen them draw the carriage a thousand times or more,” Miss Blake shouted from the drawing room as she fastened her hat and put on her gloves.

“Yes, I suppose we will be walking,” Velma agreed as she pulled on her own, wrist length gloves. Though neither lady was really quite so concerned about the walk as Frederick and Norville could quite regularly be found on Fred’s estate, just some way a few streets down.

Velma and Miss Blake met in the foyer and walked out into the street as Miss Blake readjusted her gloves one last time, tucking the hems over her elbows.

Had fun with this one, hope yall enjoy this silly little story.

[kajaono]

Season 2: canon or queercatching?

I see many GO cast and crew talking about a romance in season 2 and many people seem to take that as a confirmation that the Ineffable Husbands will be confrimed canon in season 2. But will they? Looking at the past I think we should be careful with our excitment. Because this could be queercatching instead of actual queer reprsentation.

To those of you unfamilar with the term, I can highly recommend you to watch this glorious video by Rowan Ellis.

Short summary: Queercatching is confirming a character as queer outside the show without ever making it explicit inside the show. So why I am so pessimistic? Neil already wrote a beautiful queer show, called the Sandman, didn’t he? Yeah, and this is already the first problem

1. Network

It does matter what Network you are writing for, as “beautiful” shown by Disney over the last couple of years. Netflix is really open to LGBTQ topics in their shows that are not aiming at a major audience. But they are also quick to cancel those shows again, and also netflix struggles to include queer characters in their major shows. The witcher, Stranger Things, Bridgerton... most of this shows have none or only one well written out and proud queer person among the main cast.

Now let us look at Prime. The wheel of time, The rings of power. Zero so far in LOTR, one queer side character in TWOT. Not a good starting point for making Ineffable husbands canon. Because let not fool you. GO is a show aimed at a mass market. A mass market that already had a breakdown over Sandman... at Netflix... not aimed at a mass market.

I can really recommend everyone to read the BTS book of the director of Shadowhunters, it is a beautiful inside in what rules the showrunners have to follow. Showrunners can not just go and make the main lead gay. Look at Velma f.e.

2. Advertisment

I saw people saying: But the show is promoted by the romantic relationship between the leads. So it must be explicit in the show.

Nope.

Promo has nothing NOTHING to do with the actual show. Social media campaigns are not run by the writers or showrunners, but by the network, giving the promo material to social media managers who also have not watched the show yet.

Look at the examples above.

Or the Venom Rom Com trailer for movie 1. Yeah, Venom and Eddie are dating and married. But at this point no one knew there would be a love confession in movie 2. This was just pure bait.

And yup, we now have the heart photo for our fav Demon/Angle duo.

But this just promo. Promo has nothing to do with the actual show. Promo can be accidentally or deliberately misleading. Yeah their wings are heartshaped, I see that, you see that... but is it confirmed? By anyone from the show? Has Neil said the wings are supposed to be hearts? Nope. Maybe he can’t, but I am actually really sure he won’t. Because this is what we are reading into it, not necessarily what is actually supposed to be here. Remeber: Gender reveal: blue

But Neil said they love eachother? 

I hear you say. Well, yeah but the whole quote is this:

They love eachother, they are not necessarily “in love” with each other. Also Neil really does support a QPR reading of them. This is also queer, of course, no question on that. But that would it make easier for Neil to claim they love eachother, without showing it explicit inside the show

But why would he do that?!

Well because, as he often has said, this is not his story. He shares this story with TP. He often said he does this show to honor TP, to honor his ideas. With sandman he did whatever he wanted, because it was queer and diverse all along. BUt with GO he is more careful. He will not do drastic changes, but leave the romantic relationship subtext and only epxlicit outside the show.

Let us look at other examples here:

F.e. the poly relationship in Levegere. It was confirmed by the showrunner that the OT3 is canon inside the show:

But it was never shown explicit. Not even in the soft reboot this year.And this show is produced by IMBD TV und runs of Amazon Freeve. So what a showrunner is saying on social media on what is actually happening inside a show does not necessarily has to be the same

Or how to train your dragon also has a gay character. Did you knew that or did you missed it like everyone else? It was even stated in the show. You don’t believe me: “This is why I never married. This and another reason” There is it stated that he canon gay inside the movie.

So what am I saying? That Neil is just bsaiting the fans, that Neil is bad at LGBTQ representation? No, I am saying that an explicit love story between Azi and Crowley is maybe not the story Neil wants to tell.

he is aware these two love eachother and he will never split them up. And he is aware that those are two non human genderless beings but that doesn’t change the fact that until now we have no real hint that they will be explicit queer in season 2.

But he said there will be a romance? Yeah, but he didn’t said between whom, so be careful with statement like that

Thats all I want to say with that post, be careful with your excitment.

[hitchell-mope]

I’m just gonna say it

There’s a difference between decades long franchises like doctor who, Star Trek and Star Wars and decades long franchises like scooby doo and the addams family. The first three are one long continuous story. The last two are many different incarnations. And because the last two are many different incarnations. NOT EVERYTHING IS UNIFORM!!!!

Velma’s interested in women in a recent movie and the hbo sacrilege? She was supposed, the keyword here is supposed, to be interested in women in a film 21 years ago and a cartoon 11 years ago? Sure. Fine. Whatever. But none of that erases her canonical attraction to Johnny Bravo, Beau Neville, Sam Winchester, Patrick Wisely, hell, even Ben Ravencroft. A couple of ideas that didn’t happen, a tv movie and a shameless soulless cash grab doesn’t magically negate nearly fifty years worth of different incarnations of a character being interested in men. It isn’t Velma’s personal journey, I think that’s the term, but feel free to correct me if it isn’t, it’s just a new incarnation of Velma with a different sexual orientation. By the same token. It doesn’t magically make any of your headcanons true. It just doesn’t

People complained that Luis Guzman isn’t as attractive as Raul Julia? So the fuck what? Raul Julia looked nothing like John Astin. Tim Curry looks nothing like Raul Julia. And do you wanna know why? Because they’re all different incarnations. In the same vein. While I loved Joel Glicker in Addams Family Values he doesn’t need to appear in the Wednesday show. The tentative love interests are Tyler and Xavier. And no. I’m not counting Enid because I’m talking canon here, not fanon. It’s two completely separate things and trying to merge the two never ends well. Canon and fanon are best when both are separate.

TL;DR: headcanon however you want. Indulge in fanon however you want. But with franchises like scooby doo and the Addams family. The least you can do is acknowledge that both franchises contain a myriad of different incarnations and trying to pretend that it’s one long continuous story just causes problems down the line. And again. Headcanons are all fine and dandy. But the moment you forget what happened in canon is the moment you need a reality check and a refresher course on the source material. Just as a reminder.

[doubleddenden]

That episode of Mystery Inc. that made me hate the series aired on Boomerang again just now. The one where Velma "its me or the dog" 's Scooby fucking Dooby Damn Doo. Also threatened Shaggy that the whole school would find out that he chose a "dumb dog" over her (literally what she said about the Talking. DOG.)

And I had the realization that the decision to make her into this know it all bitch who hates her friends and is basically a borderline femcel still has a ripple effect to most movies and TV series with her in them until even today's era, when we got an even worse version of her from her own series.

I am begging, any straight to DVD movie or series writer reading this: she's supposed to love her friends. She doesn't hate Daphne for being "prettier" than her, she doesn't hate Shaggy and Scooby for... whatever reason of the week- actually weirdly enough she tolerates Fred the most for most of these- anyway just...

You know. Friends like each other? They have common interests. They don't exclusively behave like a Seth McFarland or Justin Roiland family.

[comicake]

Okay so I watched the first episode of Velma and um..yeah not a fan. I know that scooby doo franchise is over 50 years old and there have been lots of changes there and there. But the thing about the scooby gang is that they all are just a bunch of nerds who love solving mysteries together.

The only other show that set in high school is mystery incorporated and while I have some criticism towards their friendship dynamic the show is good at explaining that even though they all are very different people they’re friends because they love the same thing- solving mysteries. Like sure Daphne is hot and popular and Fred looks like a popular jock but they would rather spend time on the graveyard looking for clues than doing whatever popular high schoolers are supposed to be doing. And making them rich assholes in the new show is such a boring idea. I just hate it 🫠

[hologramcowboy]

The Winchesters so Far...

Warning Spoilers Ahead

It's set in 1972...or the 60s...or 1978 or 90s. Seems none of the departments could really come together and decide or, you know, do actual research so you get all of them. Boom. 💥

In the instances where the show does attempt to nail the era appropriate vibe,  the characters look like they are dressed in cheap versions of wannabe 70s Halloween costumes.👹

John returned from the army with a full set of hair, in fact he even had it while serving. 💆

Samuel Campbell, Mary’s father is missing. Such Plot twist. Much wow. In case you forget, you’ll be reminded of this in just about every scene of TW so much so you’ll begin to hate him with the intensity of a thousand suns and, oh well, there goes your interest in the unfolding plot.

In true shocker fashion, John has barely met Mary but vows to help her find her missing dad. Did I mention he was missing? Because Mary and John do, in every scene of every episode and so does the rest of the cast. He’s missing y’all and we gotta get him back.

You know those clichè token characters that make you cringe? That's basically all the supporting cast of TW.

Big surprise, all the characters have daddy issues, so much so there's a reference to them every 5 seconds. This is totally not in attempt to copy SPN's formula, of course. 🤣

The Gang has a Mystery Machine, y’all. Not sure who the Scooby of the situation is but my money’s on John.

So far, Carlos is a crooner that sings off key and basically has no voice.  😒 Alas he’s the assigned Bard, y'all. He’s also the tragicomic relief. More tragic than comic.

Mary is a road disaster waiting to happen, she keeps focusing on her passenger rather than the road.

Mary is also petite and childlike to the point of not even remotely being believable as a hunter. She looks like the adopted child of the TW Scooby Gang.

It seems Velma, I mean Latika has no personality outside of being the book carrier. Whatever happened to creating diverse characters?

Ada seems like she teleported in from a different show due to the fact that her performance actually has layers despite her character being yet another clichè. #wastedtalent

Salt apparently traps demons now oh and demons are unkillable or so say Mary and John. How this lore is featured takes everything that made it captivating in SPN and reverses the effect. It's basically parody time.

The lines and storylines are so predictable and repetitive you can figure out what the characters are going to say before they even say it. Boom. Psychic.

John is tall, John is also stiff and often uses his body on screen as if he was a marionette or a model unsure of how to move next. In other words, the green ( green actor=newbie) in John comes out so much it’s very hard to suspend disbelief especially for those with a trained eye.

John also expresses his personal issues with the aplomb of a frozen ameoba, making the stakes of each scene very low and disengaging.

No SPN rip off would be complete without trying to recreate the "Saving people, hunting things" moment, trust John y'all, he was born for this, the lady Gaga way.

No monster featured looks even remotely realistic, in fact, it's like they purposefully sat down and asked themselves "how can we make this look as fake and as ridiculous as possible?" Mission accomplished, folks. Mission accomplished. This is a comedy, after all.

The editing, ah the editing, was it handled by a 14 year old with no previous experience? Or did Danneel decide to do it herself? That's it, isn't it? 😞

Instead of building the character arcs for John and Mary and slowly build up the chemistry this show has them oogling longingly yet vapidly at one another almost every scene, at the same time, their connection seems empty and devoid of any actual depth, feelings, commonalities due to the weak choices the actors make and the subpar writing.

The supposed big thing that connects them is that both dads are missing and both dads are hunters (John's is dead, I think?). So they didn't even bother researching and building a deep connection and just went for the clichè similarity as the basis of their "love story". That’s because they were to busy ripping off the SPN Pilot to care about actual storytelling.

Speaking of love story, though it's the selling point of the show and its theme, you won't really find it in anything within the show. The Meh glances exchanged between the lead actors ultimately communicate nothing. Did they model this couple after the Ackles dynamic? Is that what this is? Cringe. 🤨

Campy doesn't even begin to describe this prequel. It will defy your definition.

Carlos is the show's main attraction and yet he is not the lead.  That should tell you everything you need to know about TW's "diversity" casting.

You will be more scared by the musical numbers within this series than by its monsters or storyline.

This show is so confused on its genre and direction it will make your head spin.

Unsurprisingly, most of the performances on the Winchesters make it seem like the Actors were directly directed by none other Danneel Harris, oh sorry, Ackles, I forgot she is nothing without that last name. 🤡

The only believable chemistry I’ve seen on this show was between John and Latika, for a few seconds, when he told her they could be scared together in the Pilot. Major Awww moment, although the writing, once again, clichè and predictable. Which, I guess, are the actual main themes of this show, let’s be real. lol

Canon we lost you, no, canon, we buried you!! This series has nothing to to with our beloved SPN and saying otherwise is an insult to its legacy.

This whole series centers around a psychic bug empress lady and her insect like minions set on devouring the world. Yes, really.

If I missed anything it’s probably because my brains are fried from attempting to give this trainwreck a chance. Feel free to add to my list.

Verdict: The Winchesters is nothing more than a futile attempt to recreate key moments from the SPN Pilot in the hopes the audience would bite. No work or research went into this. They picked up the missing dad+ saving people hunting things spiel and tried to recreate it and did it so horribly I can’t even put it into words which is why I decided to try and make a light hearted post about it. They also copied every plot structure that worked but ended up parodying it to extremes without meaning to. The Winchesters is only sellable as an SPN parody and, even then, an extremely bad one.

For those who want to support my traumatized brain after watching TW, feel free to send me your favorite Jensen/Jared gifs or artwork to feed my art starved soul. Feed me. 💕

EDIT: Clarified one of the points.

[kaifish-pond]

Howdy Hai! I’m Kai (Oshun/Fox also work!)

I’m a regressor, but this blog is not ONLY regression, but I try and keep it PG, PG-13 at absolute most (Social Justice Stuff gets posted here which is why it gets bumped in rating)

I don’t often look at messages, but I dont mind if you send me a message, it just may take a LONG time for me to get back to you!

I am a relic in internet terms ig. I’m 27 (So I’m a Zillennial, was born at the VERY tail end of ‘96)

I am nonbinary, I was raised as a woman, and still ID strongly with femininity and girlhood, BUT I am still nonbinary bc I do not feel fully woman. I’m like a femme genderflux person with a leaning towards agender. I also use Neopronouns; Pupself and Oceanself, but you can also use She/They and sometimes he

This account is my main account and is the one I follow from. 

I LOVE invertebrates! Right now I’m obsessed with Eresus hermani and Arthrosphaera fumosa. They are BOTH so cute it's maddening! My Nonnie says in the next couple years I will be able to build my own Invertebrate shed!

I have a GREAT love for the Devonian Period, it is ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! My favorite animal from the period is Dunkleosteus, they were TANKS, just so badass! I also have a soft spot for Tikaaliks (Look em up! They are so cute)

Disability Corner!

I have several Disabilities/Disorders here’s a short list:

AuDHD, BPD, Schizoaffective, C-PTSD, Colitis, NAFLD, COPD, Spondylolisthesis (Anterolisthesis), Asthma, GERD and more :/

I am considered Medically Crippled as I have a disc slippage and pars defect. The cushioning thats supposed to be inside my disc or whatever is squeezed out and pressing against my spinal cord/nerve…

My Pain Management Doctor suggested I get a cane/walker. So hopefully next month I can get a walker/cane

I was kicked in the head by my old horse when I was in the 6th grade and got some nice TBI from it. So I’m a bit messed up in the head, and it kinda changed my personality as well as gave me severe memory loss

I have Learning Disabilities, and was supposed to be on a IEP growing up, but my grandma wouldnt allow me to be placed on one bc I was also very smart in other aspects, such as being incredibly Hyperlexic and teaching myself to read and talk, etc

If I tag something incorrect PLEASE gently correct me, I promise it was NOT intentional. I just am incredibly new to this and social media in general as I grew up UBER religious and was not allowed to have social media much, and when I would sneak and get on it, I would be punished and yelled at. 

I LOVE learning and getting better as a person!!

My Regression Fandoms

Just a smol list of fandoms I like to create Age Regression content for!

ATLA (regressor Zuko and cg Sokka are my faves, but also Flip Katara and Regressor Aang! And Regressor Toph and Cg Sokka)

Scooby Doo (I havent watched every movie/series/etc. I WILL NOT do content for that Velma Show on Max)

Breaking Bad (Transmasc Flip Jesse Pinkman FOREVER + CG Jane)

Dr Who (I have BARELY watched this show, but it consumes my brain)

Sally Face (I havent watched a Sally Face Playthrough since I was a kid and really dont remember much beside wanting Larry/Sal to be my big brothers)

Steven Universe (I have SEVERE issues with this show, but I still love it)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (I’ve only seen the first movie, but Devon Bostick as Rodrick was AMAZING + Him as a big brother CG would be AWESOME)

Metalocaylpse (Toki is a canon age regressor!!) 

The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings (I havent read/watched in FOREVER, i used to use the movies to help me fall asleep tho xD)

Degrassi (OMG THIS SHOW RULES MY LIFE! I’ve watched from Jr High to Next Class COUNTLESS TIMES)

Teen Titans (Basically any one being a CG for Regressing Raven!! SSsssssSSssoooo CUTE!)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Bratty Regressor Catra and Stern CG Adora)