#Wylan had never had someone who was just always there for him and I’m going to start crying

[bl4ckth0rn3]

Say what you want but I reckon that the kindest, most beautiful, kinda most badass, and definitely most downright fucking romantic line in the whole Six of Crows duology will always be…

‘I can read to him.’

[lilmoony]

Can you please write a kaz brekker x reader fanfic where the reader tries to convince one of the crows to come with her to a fruit market because they have like the best strawberries or something and no one wants to go and Kaz shows up to her room one day and is like let’s go and she gets excited but it turns out Kaz doesn’t like the fruit or hasn’t had it before and the reader is like why did you come then and he just wanted to spend time with them

𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔🍓

pairing: kaz brekker & reader – 2k words

plot: when no one wants to go out with you to the fruit market, kaz suggests going with you. turns out it’s not because he likes strawberries, but because he wants to spend time with you.

cw/tw: nothing, fluff at the end, maybe some spelling or grammatical errors (sorry)

word count: ≈2k

You were a member of the Dregs, and particularly of the Crows, for quite a long time now. And since you became a member of the Crows, you barely had any free time. You always had at least something to do and there was always something going on out there; you always had to think about something, above all, security.

But this week was one of those super rare days where you had (almost) nothing to worry about. Well, you always had to worry about something, so let’s say it was one of those days where you had (almost) nothing to do. For this special occasion, and because you never found the time before, you wanted to go to the market. During one of your undercover missions, you saw an old lady selling strawberries at Ketterdam market. Since you were on a mission, you couldn’t just stop to buy these red fruits. Kaz Brekker wouldn’t have allowed one of his Crows to get distracted by strawberries; he probably would have sent you one of his death glares, thinking about how much you were an idiot.

You gave yourself a mission: go to the market to buy strawberries. Yet, you haven't wanted to go there alone. You never really liked walking alone in the streets of Ketterdam, because who knows what could happen? That is why the first step of your mission was to find someone to go to the market with. And with that idea in mind, you came out of your room, a big smile on your face.

Unfortunately, you came back in your room quite quickly because the first step was a total failure. You asked every Crows if they wanted to go with you, but they all came up with a different answer; though they all had one thing in common: it was “no”.

“No, I’m sorry, I have to take care of my precious babies” answered Jesper, cleaning his revolvers.

“I’m keeping Jesper company” answered Wylan, sat next to Jesper with a shy smile on his face.

“Matthias and I are going out; we are getting waffles.” simply said Nina, a big smile on her face. Matthias was smiling to you, arm in arm with Nina.

“I was planning to take a walk” said Inej, but you only heard “I was planning to spy on people.”

There you are, climbing the steps of the Slat separating you with your bedroom. Just as you reach the middle of the stairs, you saw a face you knew too well. It was Kaz Brekker, your annoying boss. The one who always had a lot of different plans in mind: each more dangerous than the last; each more brilliant than the last. He had this neutral and closed expression on his face. He seems quite surprised to see you. Generally, when the Crows didn’t have a mission, there was no one in the Slat except him.

“Y/N,” he simply said while looking at you.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess that’s my name,” you replied to him, a slight smile on your face to hide your stress. The fact that he just said your name and nothing else was stressing you. It was the same effect that when someone says “We need to talk”.

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you enjoying the sun?” he asked, leaning on his stick, and raising one of his eyebrows.

“Nothing. Just wanted to go buy strawberries with someone but they’re all busy. Guess I’ll stick to reading in my bedroom. I could ask you the same question, even if I think I know the answer.”

You continue to climb the steps to reach its height. At first, he only looks at you without saying anything. Then, you see a slight smile on his face.

“You might have nothing to do today, but I do. I have a meeting with some merchants.” His tone wasn’t even harsh, even if you could think so.

“Oh, well, I’m not bothering you anymore then. Good luck, I guess? But you don’t really need it,” you ended the conversation,

But if you had, you would have seen him following your silhouette until he lost sight of you when you entered your room. Yet, you would have just thought that he was looking at you in the most neutral face. You could have hardly guessed that you weren’t just a colleague, an associate, or even a friend to him.

The next day, since you still weren’t planning to go alone at the market, you had planned to spend the next day in the Crow Club to watch people gamble their money, just like Jesper used to do. Since he no longer hid his Grisha powers, or at least accepted them, he said he no longer needed to play and waste his money. The one he was supposed to go to university with…

Even though it was 9 A.M., you could already feel the sun on your face as you were lying on your bed, eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, just relaxing a bit before going at the Crow Club since you had trouble sleeping. A knock on your door drew your attention. You didn’t answer directly and got up, opening the door yourself.

You were quite surprised to see the one and only Kaz Brekker in front of you, at 9 A.M.

“Hello Y/N,” simply said Kaz. He had this habit of beginning a conversation by saying a simple sentence consisting of less than five words.

“Hello Kaz,” you replied, confused, as to why he was at your door, “Do you need something in particular?”

He stayed silent for some time, as if he was searching for the words he was going to use in his sentence.

“I’m free this morning. Do you still want to buy those strawberries?”

To say these two sentences surprised you is an understatement. Because Kaz never suggested activities, just plans. It was your turn to stay silent for a moment.

“Hmm… Well- Yes,” you try to put two words together, difficulty. “But like… With you?” You saw a smile appear on his face. Apparently, your question was funny (or dumb) to him.

“No, with the white bunny that I saw across the street.”

A big smile broke out on your face, and you couldn’t help to let out a chuckle. Kaz was offering to accompany you to the fruit market? Who was this person and what did he do to the Kaz Brekker?

“When do we go?”

“Now.”

And that is how you end up in the streets with Kaz. At first, the walk was silent. But it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. You really wanted to know why he wanted to go out with you. And, moreover, to buy strawberries. Because why would Kaz spend time in a fruit market? Seriously. He wouldn’t. Or would he? Maybe he just wanted you to be happy? No, impossible. Maybe he also wanted strawberries? After all, who knows?

“You know… You don’t have to feel obliged to accompany me,” you said, breaking the silence that established itself.

“I don’t feel obliged to.” His sentences were always short but this time, you didn’t know why, you had the feeling that he wanted to say more to you. It’s as if there some words that were left unspoken. “You know I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to.” He finished his sentence without looking at you. His voice was low, as if he didn’t want you to hear what he just said. But you did.

“Well, you know, I’m still quite surprised you asked me to accompany me to buy strawberries. I never thought you were the one to like strawberries.” You hear him scoff after your last sentence.

“That is because I don’t like strawberries.”

Well, if you weren’t confused before, you were definitely now. You only looked at him, an eyebrow furrowed. You didn’t have to answer because you were already in front of the fruit’s merchant. The stand was manned by an old lady.

“Oh, hello beautiful lady,”

“Oh, thank you,” you answered shyly, “I could say the same to you Miss,” you replied, a smile on your face, as she laughed at your answer.

“Tell me, what do you two lovebirds need?”

And that was the last straw for you. When hearing this, your eyes opened widely. You began to blush yet tried to concentrate as much as possible so that Kaz couldn’t see how it makes you feel to hear that HE is your boyfriend. Because you sometimes dreamt of it, but you always put that thought out of your head as soon as you woke up. You had come to terms with it: it would never happen.

And that was the last straw for Kaz. When hearing this, he kept a neural face, as if the lady never said anything. But in this mind, oh boy. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Because he sometimes thought about what he liked in you. He liked how you always smiled to everyone, how you talked about what you liked to do. He adored your repartee, the way you always returned compliments. He loved your smile, your eyes. You.

“He… He is not my boyfriend,” you tried to answer without letting any emotions out. “He’s a friend.”

“Yes, I see… Unfortunately,” answered the old lady while laughing, leaving your speechless. “Anyway, tell me what you need.”

“I’ll – I’ll take a kilo of strawberries, please.”

While the lady prepares the stray of strawberries, you took your courage in both hands and looked at Kaz. Needless to say, he was looking at you for quite a while already. But his face was unreadable.

“There you go, young woman,” the only lady gives you a large stray of strawberries.

“Thank you, a lot, and have a beautiful day,” you greet her finally.

You turned directly towards Kaz, happy.

“Look at them, they seem so tasty,” you exclaimed, but you directly remembered the fact that he didn’t like strawberries. “Wait, you told me you didn’t like strawberries so why did you come with me?”

You take a glance at him, and he looks a lot colder than before. He has a closed face, as if he’s angry. But this is just his usual expression. Or that’s what you think.

“I wanted to get some fresh air, I guess.”

“What you just said is a lie.”

“It is not.”

You can’t help but let out a little laugh. This situation turned out to be ridiculous.

“You can’t lie to me Kaz. You can’t lie to the best liar of Ketterdam. It’s really kind of you – and strange – to go out with me, even more when you don’t like strawberries. Just tell me the truth.”

“I just wanted to spend time with you. Are you satisfied now?” he answered abruptly.

You stopped directly when you heard these words, and he stopped too. But neither of you tries to meet the other’s gaze. There are a lot more questions in your mind than before. And there was already a lot of questions before.

“You…” you paused, searching for your words. “You can’t be serious, huh?”

“And what if I am? You told me to say the truth, here’s the truth.” he answers, his jaw slightly clenched.

“And you couldn’t say that since the beginning? It would have been ten time easier.”

“Don’t be silly, why would I say that?”

“Because I want to spend time with you too. And we could have spent more time together. That’s why.”

You can’t see the smile that makes his way to his face. And this isn’t really a slight smile.

“Good, at least something we think the same about,” and a laugh escapes your mouth while you look at him.

He looks at you too. There is this spark in his eyes, just as there is spark in your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. One thing in common, but I’m sure there are a lot more things we have in common. We just have to find.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to find that Y/N.”

“Right. Did you already taste strawberries with fresh cream?”

“Never.”

“Well, let’s get to the Slat and you’ll have to taste that.”

You continue walking back to the Slat, chatting together. The atmosphere was brighter than ever.

[lady-ashfade]

Can you too a six of crows x male reader who is always clumsy and shy but yet they love to tease him about it (it can be a female reader if you want )

But he’s just so cute.

Poly!Six of crows x Male!Clumsy!Reader

Of course I’m doing it, it so freakin cute to think about. Because as a very clumsy person myself, I think we’re fun. Also you didn’t tell me if you wanted romantic or not, so I just did what I felt was right.

Warnings: Reader being a bit of a air-head, small cuts and wounds, short, slight teasing.

You had a funny way of always walking into a room, either it was hitting your hand on the door frame, or tripping somehow. The crows were all over you, maybe just watching and cooing at how clumsy you are.

The first time they really noticed this was when you walked into your own room door, the handle didn’t work right. You couldn’t open it in the first try, and you didn’t even think about it as you tried to walk in but got face full of wood. But when they finally noticed you weren’t going to stop doing it, they fixed the damn thing. Because even if it was adorable, they didn’t like the bruising beginning to form on your forehead or nose.

“Sweetheart,” Nina batted her eyelids at you and stopped you by placing a hand in front of your chest, “There’s a hole in the floor.” She pointed down. A big hole in between the wood planks would sure injure someones leg. She watched your shy smile and look of shame, “Thank you.” Your pout and shyness had her freaking out. Nina just grabbed ahold of your arm and pulled you back and out of the old shop, nothing caught her eyes.

Lets just say you had bruised and small cuts all over yourself. The crows always had a eye on you. You could trip down the stairs again, almost giving them a heart attack when you first did it.

“Ten bucks says he walks into the table.” Jesper jokes and the group glares at him. “Don’t joke like that.” Wylan hit his chest and glared softly at him. “He already did that twice today, he can’t possibly do-” Matthias began to speak until he saw you bump into the table again. Jesper laughed as he called it.

“I swear I’m going to wrap him up with pillows.” Kaz groans and he stands up to make his way over to you. Inej just shakes her head, maybe she was was slightly amused but this was always happening.

Inej eyed you as you talked to kaz with a shy smile and tell him the story, him slightly already teasing you about it. “How he can always be a dangerous to himself at every moment is truly a wonder,” she looked at them and a smirk grew, “But he’s just so cute.”

They always cover the table or corners of everything if you bend down, knowing you’ll most likely hit your previous head. They also carry around bandages and band-aids for you. Anything they can have to prepare they have it. But kisses to each wound you have is a must. Cuddles even for the tiniest scratches.

Wylan doesn’t allow you near his things. Because you accidentally knocked over important vials, or you made a tiny explosion once and he had to pull you into the ground to protect you. “I love you, but this” he smiled while onto of you, not angry at all “This can’t happen again.” And he kissed you on the nose.

But they all tease you any chance they get, like it’s frustrating honestly. “My clumsy boy.” Jesper would say as he helps you down the stairs. Or when Inej would take away anything sharp away from you, “Let me handle these.” And she never let you touch her knives. Kaz wouldn’t let you on mission, but he would let you plan them with him. Because you were pretty smart at those things. Kaz will hold onto your waist when you’re about to fall, he would smirk at you just as acted.

Overall I think they would tease you a lot, even about things that happen months before. But you’re their clumsy man, and they will always love that about you.

[green-typewriterz]

Please.

Kaz Brekker x gn!reader

Summary: Kaz struggles with affection and touch, but he has to do something to stop you from going on a heist that could possibly kill you. 

ASK: N/A

Warnings: Kaz being Kaz, maybe slightly ooc Kaz as its my first time writing, injury, talks of death, slight ptsd

word count: 1171

Kaz sat in his office with the door closed, not a single sound escaping from under the crack. It was something you and the Crows were used to but it didn’t stop you from wondering if he was ok. While you and Jesper worked the bar - chatting happily with the pigeons that you liked to call your regulars, Wylan and Nina sat in the corner of the room, drawing out plans, Matthias had just gone outside to follow after someone who hadn’t paid and Inej was probably somewhere near - you just couldn’t see her.

The next heist was days away and both yours and Inej’s talents with staying quiet would come in handy. Though you weren’t a master spy like your Suli friend, nor could you fight in the same acrobatic way as she, you were nimble and silent, an intimidating quiet in a room full of leaders. That and you were amazing with knives. However, there was one flaw in every plan the group came up with, one that could prove to be life or death for you and Inej. The guards were never off duty and they always had guns. You’d have to fight to get past them.

It eventually got to two in the morning and the Crow Club was finally closing, yet there hadn’t even been the sound of Kaz’s uneven footsteps creaking across the floor. You sat on the other side of the bar as Jesper cleaned glasses, annoyed look in his eyes.

Eventually he turned to you. “I could use some help, you know?” Jesper spoke in mock annoyance, but any joking emotions on his face dropped when he saw the worry in your eyes. “Look, y/n, if you’re that worried about him, then go up there. Bring him tea or something.” You met his eyes and sighed, nodded slowly as you headed to the kitchens to make him a drink and some sort of food.

You headed up to his office with a hot cup of tea and a few pastries you had found in the pantry. You gently pushed open the door and the slithers of light from the hallway seeped into the room. Kaz sat at his desk, face lit only by a singular lamp that cast sickly shadows on his sharpened features. He looked tired. He glanced up as you stepped further inside, a tired frown on his features.

“Y/n, I’m busy,” he muttered quietly, head falling gently over his eyes. His attention returned to the plans in front of him. You placed down the plate and mug on the table and smiled softly.

He looked at the plate in confusion as you spoke, “I brought you some food, and a drink.” He didn’t respond so you sat down in the chair opposite him. “You’ve been here for hours, Kaz. You need to take a break.”

He put a gloved hand against his temple and sighed, “There’s no time for breaks. Every detail needs to be perfect, this has to go smoothly for us.”

You nodded in understanding, this was a difficult thing for any person, let alone a group of teenagers. “I know, Kaz. we’re all working hard.” Kaz finally looked up at you for more than three seconds and his eyes narrowed into an unreadable expression.

“You and Inej are crucial to this plan, it wouldn’t be possible without you. But-” He cut himself off, breath catching in his throat. His next words were a whisper, “But I don’t want you to go.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, why was he changing his mind now, so soon before the heist?

You sat for a while, not knowing what to say, eventually, you assumed it was him not wanting to lose his two best ‘spies’ in one go. “Kaz, we’ve done this hundreds of times, Inej and I are fully prepared for whatever happens. You don’t have to worry.”

He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping across the floor, scratching over the previous marks in the wood. His eyes seemed to hold a fervour to them you had never seen before. “It’s more than just the heist, Y/N. This job is dangerous. I can’t afford to lose anyone. I can’t afford to lose…you.”

You blinked a few times in confusion, not understanding where his sincerity had come from. He breathed out slowly and, almost as if it were against his human nature to do so, gingerly stepped forward, his eyes glued to your hands. “You’re important to me, Y/N.” His gaze flitted up to meet yours and his brows furrowed in what looked like pain as he stepped closer still. “Promise me you’ll get out if things get too dangerous.”

A sigh escaped your lips and you shook your head, “I’m not a child, Kaz. I’ve gone through worse, multiple times. You can’t expect me to stop now because you suddenly gained the ability to feel empathy.” You whispered. You hadn’t meant it to sound harsh, but the words sliced through him and his gaze lowered. Turning to the door, you began to walk away, aiming to get a semblance of a good night's sleep before the manic day of final planning began tomorrow.

Despite this aim, you only got part way toward the door when you felt cool leather grip your wrist. You gasped at the sensation and turned to see Kaz holding you in place. He breathed out shakily and his eyes closed for a moment, almost as if he were trying to calm himself. You gave him time. “Please.”

It was one word, barely a whisper above the sounds of Ketterdam from Kaz’s open window, yet it felt like a stone wall he had spent years building with his own scarred hands had come crumbling down. Heavy rocks he had cemented together with avoidance and fear fell onto his feet, pushing themselves against his chest and Jordie’s pained body lay on the other side. He withered there for a moment, trying to calm himself. He could feel the warmth of your hands through his gloves - the sensation blurring the memories of the cold bodies beneath him. He breathed in once more, eyes still shut.

“Please.”

You found yourself unable to breathe, not knowing how to deal with his vulnerability, it wasn’t something the Crows were known for. “Kaz…” You trailed off, moving closer and readjusting to hold his hand in both of yours. You worked slowly, trying to keep the both of you as calm as possible. His hand shook under yours and you released slightly, the ghost of your hand still gently touching his. “I can’t leave Inej to go alone.”

He met your eyes and nodded. He knew it would be how you'd reply. You were too good to all the people around him, too good for him. Eventually, Kaz pulled his hand away, the feeling of another person that close to him becoming too much. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”

He let you leave.

[unrequitedloveletter]

Hearts In Sync- Heartrender! Kaz Brekker x gn! reader

Okay!! It’s season two release day and the concept of Kaz as a heartrender is something I’ve loved and wanted to write for for a bit. I did say I wasn’t going to post anything today because I’m fairly tired and the emotions are emotioning right now (I have cried so many times today,, it’s not even funny) but I edited both this part and the second part already but forgot to post this yesterday, so I lied a little bit lol. 

This is part one! I had to split this fic up to avoid it getting to long, but fret not, the second part will come out tomorrow!

Fic type- this is hurt/comfort kind of? I can’t quite figure out how to classify it lol

Warnings- none

Kaz Brekker was known in Ketterdam as Dirtyhands. He was known as the Bastard of the Barrel, infamous for his gloves and his cane and his scowl that never lifted into a smirk for anything. He was known to be a ruthless killer, a reputation that took very little effort to maintain. 

It was low maintenance, which Kaz liked. It was low maintenance for the fact that the moment that he stretched a hand in a single direction, the automatic assumption was that someones heart either had just exploded or was about to. 

It was good, though, that his reputation was as it had been. It made people afraid, and at the end of the day, people who were afraid still made him decent money when they visited the Crow Club and were too afraid of Kaz’s intimidating presence in any one of the rooms to bother with cheating at a game of Three Man Bramble or Makkers Wheel. 

“You don’t view it as weakness now, do you?” Jesper asked. The two of them had been sitting at a table in the bottom of the Slat, the both of them drinking bourbon. “I mean, you let yourself fall in love. A man who lets himself fall in love can’t view it as weakness. Not when he’s you, and, even despite the cane, he’s practically invincible.” 

Kaz had spent many of his days observing people in love. He noticed the strengthened beats of their hearts in comparison to those who were not, the general happiness that couples carried simply by existing in one anothers presences. 

He registered his own heart as it began to race from the moment he was able to sense your presence in any given room, the smirk that he had to fight as he heard your footsteps approaching, the one he had to fight as you placed a still warm cup of coffee in front of him and sat down, the one he almost grew tired of fighting by the time he’d slid you the steaming cup of tea he’d thought to order in the final couple minutes before you were to arrive. 

“I don’t know,” he said. It’d presented itself as both weakness and strength a plethora of different times over the years. “I do know, actually, I just can’t really explain it.” 

“Ah,” Jesper gave a nod. “You Barrel bosses and your complex emotions.” 

Kaz only registered the familiar beat of your heart as you sat down to his right. 

“Barrel bosses aren’t really all that complex if you learn how to read their expressions,” you said. 

“Bold to say that when discussing a man who’s face always looks monotonous.” 

You shot Jesper a grin as Kaz slid you the tea. “Yeah. He views emotions as weakness, I think.”

“You can read his expression no doubt,” Jesper said, and Kaz found himself smirking momentarily at his bourbon. Even if his face remained monotonous, you knew the right places to look to determine what Kaz had been feeling. You saw it in a way that nobody, not even the ever so observant likes of Inej or Wylan, ever could. 

You paused, shot Kaz a look. Worth it?” 

Kaz only shrugged.

In the seconds to follow Kaz ignored the feeling of your gaze moving across his face analytically, he registered how face your heart had begun to race, felt himself fight a smirk as he realized that his heart had been beating faster than yours. 

“He’s missed me,” you said. “And he’s wondering about the deal. The bourbon he’s been drinking has long lost the effectiveness it used to carry and is now just sour and cold, and he misses the coffee he would normally be drinking during the day. Bourbon isn’t his usual, so he’s probably either looking to get some rest earlier than he would or he just wanted a quick way to get drunk enough to sleep but the bourbon hasn’t been worthwhile enough for him to have another.” 

Kaz met your gaze, blinked surprisedly as Jespers eyes widened. He seemed to be just as shocked as Kaz had been. Someone who was able to read his expressions as easily as you had always been a bit of a surprise, and it never was something he got used to. 

“The deal went fine, by the way,” you said. “All is well and good. Got the building for a discounted price after I mentioned some infidelity on the sellers part. He’s gonna be pissed when he goes home tonight to find his wife has thrown his shit onto their front lawn, but it was worth it.” 

“Ah, so the continuation of using the dirt against our enemies continues,” Jesper said, grinning slightly. “Glad to know that we of the Dregs like our traditions. Speaking of using the dirt against our enemies, however, whens the next heist?”

“Bloody hell, don’t tell me I forgot to mention it? Fuck, I knew there was something I neglected to mention last night. Do me a favor and pass the info along to Wylan as well, will you? We leave for a heist in The Wandering Isle, on the behalf of the king and queen of Ravka, in eight days time,” Kaz said. 

“Two hundred thousand is the payoff, but Nikolai has been so generous as to send along a fully manned boat and a crew to sweeten the deal. The boat is engine powered and it’s ours once the heist is said and done. Called it a gift and let me know that, should the officials from the other countries agree, we’ll be looking at closer to half of a million. Half a million across seven people is worth it, with the adage of a boat that will make getting to Ravka, leaving it, that much easier? I couldn’t refuse.” 

“Nikolai is one of the best negotiators I’ve ever seen,” you said. “Damn him and his charms. We’re sitting at two hundred thousand currently but if he and Zoya can charm the socks off of a few leaders, we’ll be getting 71,000 and some change, when split seven ways.”

“I’m in,” Jesper said. “Wylan will be, too, I think. He misses it; the usage of bombs with criminal intent. A demo man will be needed on the job, correct?” 

“A demo man is never useless,” Kaz agreed. “Especially not in The Wandering Isle. The stuff we’re grabbing is highly guarded and the penalties for taking most of it is death by hanging, and even as such, I doubt that doing so with the permission of the king and queen of Ravka will get us pardoned. The things that we’re taking originally belonged to Ravka and the other countries with which it has temporarily allied itself, but locals don’t know that, and the government likes it kept that way. A few dozen explosions will only do us good.” 

“Rest of the crew?”

“It’s us, Inej, Nina, Matthias and Wylan. Nikolai was also so kind as to allow a healer to be dispatched from his staffing at the palaces so that any fatal injuries can be treated. Provided nobody finds our boat and kills the crew, we’re practically set.” 

Jesper grinned as he got up. “I’ll go tell Wylan the good news. Enjoy the next eight days of heist prep.”

Kaz scoffed. “I will,”

Both you and Kaz watched Jesper go, a quick and easy rhythm settling over you as you conversed. You talked until you had to pick up a shift behind the bar at the Crow Club and Kaz returned to his office to look over heist plans. 

-

Eight days later, you were standing at the ships farthest right, grin on your face and eyes brightened by the dim light of the sunset as you kept an easy hold on a cup of tea whilst the boat moved closer and closer to the Wandering Isle. 

Your forearms were draped over the boats edge, your eyes on the sunset as Kaz approached. He stood to your right, shooting you a smirk. 

“You’ve always had quite the affinity for sunsets.”

“And you have always had quite the affinity for joining me to watch them,” you said. “Not that I mind. Your presence is about the only thing that’s relaxing to me right now. I checked the forecast in the Wandering Isle. Rain for the entirety of the time we’ll be in the city, and snow the moment we’re due to leave. It feels odd to me.” 

“Rain means good luck in Ketterdam,” he’d said, and it had been true. A lot of the heists with the best payouts seemed to come about either just before, just after, or sometime during a period of rain. You should’ve been thinking of the rain to be lucky, not the opposite. 

“I know it does,” you said. “And I know you’ve thought through every possible outcome because that’s what you do, but I’m still--I just don’t trust it. I have no idea why I don’t trust it, but I feel like whatevers left that can go wrong will.” 

“If something does go wrong, we’ll fight through it together,” Kaz said. 

“I love you,” you whispered. 

Kaz turned his gaze to the skyline for a moment for a moment before he looked away. “Always.” he whispered back. 

Silence draped itself over the two of you, though it was a comfortable one as it had always been. Kaz listened to the sound of his own heartbeat for a while, only to stop and listen to yours. 

He realized rather quickly that they were beating at the same rate. It made him remember a study he’d read wherein it was found that couples heartbeats and respiratory rates often synced up, and that just made him scoff, smirking at you as he watched you drink your tea.

“What?” You asked. “I don’t have something on my face, do I?” 

“No,” Kaz said. “Just admiring the view of the sunset, is all.” 

You grinned, taking in his face. “You love me too, Brekker. I can see it in your eyes, in the fact that you’re standing closer to me than normal. You’re also worried because I’m worried, and I appreciate that. Thank you for validating my concerns.” 

“Always,” Kaz said again, and the comfortable silence took the both of you over once more, contentedness wrapping itself around you both much in the manner of a blanket as it did. 

[targaryenluvs]

So hello, I think I placed this request is someone else inbox and it’s so embarrassing. So I hope you're having a good day/night. I was wondering if you would consider the crows × teen! reader. Like the one you have done, because I love that. Maybe she has her first crush and everyone is reaching in their own way. I just really want to see kaz glaring and staring at the boy and is scared him so much. (Protective dad)

-🦢

this is shorter than most since i’m in a rush but enjoy!

Where'd All The Time Go?

kaz brekker x teen!reader, crows x teen!reader, oc x teen!reader

warnings: cursing, yelling, intimidation? (idk if that counts) kissing

You’d tried so hard to hide him.

Elias, or Eli as you called him was amazing. You’d meet him whilst shopping with Nina and you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.

He was the son of a Pub Owner, but he wanted to be more. His ambition matched yours, so did his personality. The two of you got to talking and ended up conversing for hours. To the point where Jesper had to run around and try to find you which lead to you lecturing him on the fact that you were sixteen and able to handle yourself at night.

On the way home you begged Jesper not to mention it to anyone except Wylan. Wylan would never tell a soul and Wylan would make sure Jesper never let it slip. You had wanted to tell Nina but she would tell Matthias and you weren't sure if he fully understood the concept of a secret relationship and Nina had a particularly loud personality.

So you snuck around, Eli also worked as a Barkeep and would sometimes pick up on information left out in the open by inebriated customers which he'd relay to you.

You were able to sneak him books, his father wanted him focused on running the bar one day but you knew it wasn't what he wanted out of life.

You'd spend the time you usually set aside for leisure time to spend helping Eli study. It was too risky to bring him into the Slat or the Crow Club since you knew you'd run into someone you knew who'd question you for his presence.

Eli's mother knew about the two of you and loved you a lot, you were well-mannered and educated as well as gorgeous. What's not to like? And you loved her too. She always had something to give you, a trinket, a book etc. One of the things you adored?

Her cooking. Gosh it was like being transported to heaven. She herself was half Zemeni and it was always nice to have someone appreciate your culture.

Sometimes you showed up just to talk to her.

When his parents were out and two of you had the place to yourselves you loved to cook together. It helped you imagine a future life together, peaceful and sweet.

But when his dad was in you'd sneak him into your place.

And you'd always been so careful, until today.

You had a few drinks at a local tavern, perhaps a bit more than a few but who was counting?

Eli had gotten himself a secret job at the biggest Library around with the only problem being that it was so close to Pekka Rollins turf. You knew if he found out about Eli he would be used to lure you.

Instead of scaling the walls to your bedroom you thought that walking right inside would be more fitting. "I'm so hungry E." You whined as Eli laughed, "I'll bake you something. Make you some eat."

You giggled, "What in the Saints are you on about?" Eli pushed open the door as he frowned, "Don't mock me, that is a very rude thing to do my love." As you walked in you felt at home, quickly you lead him upstairs as fast as possible, along with a few trips on the stairs.

But your swift escape was foiled when you ran right into Kaz.

"Y/n." He spoke in an angry tone, although anger wasn't new in Kaz's case. "Kaz." You replied in a low, mocking tone. "See now that's mocking babe." You laughed, but Eli wasn't.

"What's wrong?" He laughed drily, "Nothing, just the fact that he's staring at me like he's gonna skin me and maybe shoot me in the head to finish it off." That brought out a smirk from Kaz, "Would you suggest another way to ward off unseemly boys from trying to get with a girl too high above them in every way.

"Aww how nice of you to say so Kazzle. Come along E." You smiled but as you walked Kaz grabbed your wrist before swiftly pulling back.

"You can go upstairs but he cannot. Leave. Now."

"That's not fair! He's my guest and my boyfriend he can do as he please."

"Boyfriend?"

"I mean a friend who just so happens to be a boy. Goodnight!"

"Y/n."

"Yes she's my girlfriend and there's nothing you can do about it. She's a grown woman and not a little kid with a crush, I know who she is. She's not stupid and you know that. Y/n wouldn't risk getting into a relationship if she didn't know the person and if they weren't a good guy. I love her with everything I have. She always pushes me to be my best and half the things I've been to scared of doing she held my hand and led me through it. She taught me so much and I'm forever grateful. She's absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, articulate, well-spoken and overall an incredible woman and I'm forever grateful she chose to be with me and I will always treat her with the upmost respect because she deserves nothing less."

"And E is a good guy. He's sweet, and genuine. He always knows when I'm in a bad mood and he always knows how to cheer me up. He cooks for me when I can't be bothered. He reminds me to clean up, he knows everything about me and I him. No I haven't met his father yet but that's because he's an ass. His mothers an amazing woman and incredibly sweet to me and treats me like I'm her own. And not only is Eli an amazing guy but he's super pretty!" You exhaled and inhaled quickly.

Eli stood with his jaw dropped and eyes bulging. "I- Y/n." You sat down on the stairs with him as he sat next to you with his hands clasped with yours.

Kaz was stunned, and he hadn't been speechless in forever, his fast thinking and wit was one of the main reasons he survived.

Inej and Nina were standing with Kaz, a bit behind him.

"I think I'm going to cry, I wish Matthias would say something like that to me."

Inej smiled, she'd always known you'd attract suitors, you were nothing short of stunning. But the Barrel had no shortage of annoying, immature boys and she was thanking all her Saints you had seemed to find the best.

Kaz looked back at her, Oh how he wished he could say that, express all of his millions of thoughts and praise. But it was too hard, so he looked back at you to see Eli smiling whilst resting your forehead on his.

And so he relented, "Leave the door open halfway and if you try anything I will drag you through the streets attached to a wagon and then let the Crows have a go. It's been a while since we delivered a proper beating."

"Yes sir." Eli nodded, you were surprised his head didn't fall off with how quickly he nodded.

Kaz sat back down at his desk and opened his locked drawer, grabbing one of the old notes you use to leave him, it had a drawing of a flower, your favourite, a Black Dahlia. And he couldn't help but sigh.

Where'd all the time go?

[ruins-and-rewritez]

for the crows: lgbtq+ identities go!!

[Photo ID: Text that reads; Kaz: I don’t I understand why I’d have to explain myself to you or anyone else. If I want to kiss Inej that’s my business not that I want to kiss her not that I don’t want to kiss her. You know what? I’m not answering this, I’ll kiss who I want and if it just so happens to be Inej then that’s merely a coincidence... (He continued to ramble on in the manner for several minutes so I had to cut the response short) ;End Text. Accompanied by a picture of Kaz Brekker (Freddy Carter) Labeled; 17, Despises Labels. End ID]

[Photo ID: Picture of Inej Ghafa (Amita Suman) Labeled; 16, Straight-Adjacent. Accompanied by text that reads; Inej: I’m not really up for a relationship at the moment, but as a general statement I prefer men when considering the future . That’s not to say I wouldn’t consider my other choices if the occasion arose. ; End Text. End ID]

[Photo ID: Text that reads; Jesper: Boys are pretty, girls are pretty, as long as their up for it I’m ready to kiss anyone (muffled off-screen swearing) AND.- and by anyone I mean my one and only boyfriend Wylan I definitely will never try to ever kiss anyone else (nervous laughter) ; End Text. Accompanied by a picture of Jesper Fahey (Kit Young) Labeled; 17 Bi-Disaster. End ID]

[Photo ID: Picture of Wylan Hendricks (Jack Wolfe) Labeled; 16, Baby Gay. Accompanied by text that reads; Wylan: Boys. Definitely. I mean I’ve already got one and have no plans on exchanging him unless he does something really stupid like oh I don’t know...make out with someone who happens to look exactly like me by mistake? Just a thought. End Text. End ID]

[Photo ID: Text that reads; Nina: gender doesn’t really matter all that much to me, everyone has always just been so unique and beautiful to me no matter how they choose to be identified. But if we’re being specific, I prefer great big brutes with absolutely horrible social skills, it’s so fun to tease them into adoring me. ; End Text. Accompanied by a picture of Nina Zenik (Danielle Galligan) Labeled; 17, Pan Empress. End ID]

[Photo ID: Picture of Matthias Helvar (Calahan Skogman) Labeled; 18, Token Straight. Accompanied by text that reads; Matthias: I haven’t really ever given it much thought, but I guess if were to be with someone I would very much like it be someone who would challenge me. Some who would push me to be my best self. Someone unforgettable. The kind of girl you might dream of in your darkest nights.....(trailed off into thought); End Text. End ID]

Ask The Crows your own questions!

[sophierequests]

'cause you loved her too much // never to touch and never to keep part two

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: No one wanted it, but I still wrote it so here you go: Part 2 to my last Kaz fic, because I wanted to write some Hurt/Comfort and not let this end like my Glimpse of Us fic again.

You can find part one here!

Summary: Inej and Jesper are sick of Kaz acting like he doesn't care about the reader leaving, so they take matters into their own hands.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: Feelings and an emotionally constipated Kaz Brekker

It wasn't unusual for the streets of Os Kervo to be crowded, but Sundays were always the worst. Merchants were yelling and praising their goods, while the masses of people ran their weekly errands. However, even with the constant chattering and noise, it still felt way more peaceful than anything you had ever experienced in Ketterdam.

This didn't stop you from missing your old home - your old friends. It had been almost two years since the last time you had set foot into the town that you once held so dear to your heart. You missed getting drinks with Jesper after a successful - or less successful - job. You missed Inej appearing out of nowhere just to say make you aware of her presence. You missed listening to Matthias ramble about whatever bothered him about Kaz today. You missed helping Wylan with his new projects, which would eventually end in disaster most of the time. You missed baking waffles with Nina, even though the kitchen always looked like a complete mess afterwards. And Saints be damned, you even missed Kaz.

But going back now wasn't an option. They wouldn't want you after disappearing without giving them the courtesy to leave a note. You couldn't even be sure whether Kaz had told them about what happened, so for all they knew, you just abandoned them for no apparent reason. But most importantly, Kaz didn't need you. He said it himself. So why should you even bother coming back?

The thoughts still clouded your mind as you unlocked the old creaky door to your parents’ house, struggling a bit to keep the contents inside your baskets from falling onto the floor. Immediately upon entering, the welcoming scent of freshly made tea and biscuits invaded your nose. You paused for a moment. It wasn’t even late noon? Your parents didn’t serve tea until the late afternoon. This did strike you as odd.

“Ma! Da! I’m back!” You called upstairs, setting the baskets down on the kitchen counter and shrugging off the thick woollen coat Nina had gifted you for your birthday a few years ago.

“Thank you, dear! Leave the shopping on the table, we’ll deal with it.” Your mother called from the top of the staircase, leading up to the cosy living room area that always painfully reminded you of the one at the Slat. “You should come upstairs, there’s someone here for you!” Someone was here to see you? You dreaded the thought of who it might be. Since coming back to Ravka, your parents were keen on setting you up with some of your former classmates, most of which you didn’t even recognize at first glance.

When you trudged up the stairs, suspicion and apprehension written all over your face, you were met with a sight you didn’t expect. Two people happily lounged on the couch opposite your parents. But they weren’t the people you had anticipated.

“They arrived at our door just minutes after you left. They said they are your friends?” Your father explained, drinking the last sip of his tea, whilst giving you a warm smile.

“You should have told us that you expected friends to visit! I barely had any biscuits left.”

“Oh, it’s fine Mrs Y/L/N. She couldn’t have known. It was more of a surprise trip. We apologize if we have caused any inconvenience.” The girl completely clad in black reassured, giving you an apologetic glance.

“It’s fine, don’t you worry, dear. I think we should leave you three alone now. You might want to catch up.” With that, your parents stood up and left the room, allowing you to take in the scene in front of you properly.

Before you could say anything, you were pulled into a tight hug that almost managed to cut off your air supply. Jesper had his arms wrapped around you firmly, and you couldn’t help but reciprocate his gesture. His clothes still smelled of gunpowder, whiskey and smoke, but you didn’t mind. You missed this.

After you finally pried yourself out of Jesper’s embrace, Inej was quick to do the same. She didn’t hug you as tightly, but you were just glad that she apparently didn’t hate you for leaving without any notice. Neither of them seemed to, for that matter.

“What are you doing here? No, wait, how did you find me?” You sputtered after sitting down, letting the realization settle in gradually. They were here. In your childhood home. Without you ever telling them where you lived. Something had to have happened.

“You used to send monthly letters to your parents.” Inej began, and you could already suspect where this was going. “We stole the archived postal protocols and figured out where your letters went. And now we’re here.”

“She did that.” Jesper corrected, earning an eye roll from the girl sitting next to him. “I had nothing to do with the actual illegal part.” As if that would matter, you chuckled in thought.

“Saints, Kaz has been a terrible influence on you.” You sighed, giving them a tired smile. You had missed them so much that them being here just seemed like the beginning of a joke leading up to a cruel punchline. “But seriously, what exactly are you doing here? You could have also just written me a letter.”

“We wanted to see if you’re ok-.” Inej started, only to be hastily cut off by Jesper.

“Kaz is driving us insane, and we need you.” He looked at her with a sorry look on his face, quickly trying to divert your attention off of what he just said. “We also missed you terribly and are mainly here to see whether you’re still alive, of course.”

“This feels way less sincere after knowing that you’re only here to get my help because Kaz is annoying you.” You retorted sarcastically, watching as they exchanged an uncomfortable glance with each other. As much as you wanted to make a joke out of the whole situation, it was painfully obvious that they had come here with an ulterior motive.

“Y/N, please, I know you really don’t want to hear this, but we need you.” She paused for a brief moment, cautiously observing your expression. “And you probably want to hear this even less, but Kaz needs you too.” You couldn’t help but let out a huffed breath. You wanted to believe this. You really did. But hope was a dangerous thing to hold onto.

“I think he made it pretty clear that he doesn’t.”

“Y/N,” Jesper started with an exhausted look on his face. “He told us what happened, and we don’t expect you to forgive him. But he does need you. We haven’t been on a proper job in forever, because he can’t focus on what he’s doing. He’s a mess! And we’re talking about Kaz Brekker here, so if he’s that much of a mess that we're starting to get concerned that has to mean something. He doesn’t even come down to the club with us anymore. He only sits in his office and sulks. We can’t go on like this anymore.”

“He misses you. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he regrets letting you go. We all know it.”

“What does he miss exactly? My contribution to the team? Me bringing him coffee? Or me keeping him company? All of these things can be done by someone else, Inej. He doesn’t miss me. He misses the things I did for him, not me. I’m tired of trying to get his attention, while he only sees me as some sort of accessory.”

“But he doesn’t want someone else. Even before you left, do you think that he would’ve tolerated anyone else in his office? He just doesn’t know how to express it.” Inej urged, putting a comforting hand on your thigh in an attempt to calm you down.

“Which is not surprising, at all. Kaz Brekker is the definition of emotionally constipated.” Jesper groaned, yelping over dramatically as Inej gave him a smack on the biceps.

“You have feelings for him.” You wanted to deny it, but she stopped you with a quick hand gesture. “And he wasn’t ready to admit it yet, but his feelings aren’t mainly platonic either.”

“I’d love to believe that, but I’m not sure if I can do that yet. I think I need a bit more time.” Jesper looked slightly defeated by your verdict, but Inej seemed to be a bit more hopeful.

“We can’t and won’t force you to do anything, Y/N. You have every right to be hesitant to see him again. All that I’m asking of you is, that you think about coming back to the Slat. That doesn’t have to happen now. You don’t have to come with us. But I think it would do both of you some good.”

“I won’t promise anything, but I’ll think about it.” You nodded slowly, smiling softly when you noticed Jesper’s victorious expression. “I have one question though. Does he know that you’re here?”

“Well…”

He did, in fact, not know that they were in Ravka, nevertheless that they were off to see you. He actually didn’t even know that they were gone. This did convince you that it was better for you to join them. At least they would have some sort of explanation for their two-week absence. Whether Kaz liked that reason, or not.

“Inej! Jesper! Thank the Saints that you’re back!” Nina called out happily as she saw the two carry themselves up the stairs. “Kaz has been giving us hell since you’ve been gon-” She wanted to continue talking, but upon seeing you enter the living room area, she couldn’t help the squeal of joy that left her mouth. “Y/N!” She stood up from her seat next to Matthias, hurrying over to embrace you. Wylan joined in on the hug, noticeably relieved to see you again. Everything felt right at that moment. Even though the worst was yet to come.

“You’ll have a lot of explaining to do, once he figures out that you’re back,” Wylan added anxiously before turning around to greet his boyfriend.

“Damn right you will.” Kaz’s voice sent chills through everyone’s bones. He was leaning against the door frame next to the staircase, visibly pissed. From where he was standing, he didn’t seem to be able to notice you, and maybe it was better that way. These weren’t necessarily what you would call good starting conditions. “Where have you been?”

“Ravka,” Inej answered truthfully, taking a step back towards the other entrance.

“What possessed you to disappear to Ravka for two weeks?” It was almost frightening how calm his voice sounded, whilst everyone in the room could see the anger simmering behind his poised demeanour.

“Aren’t they allowed to visit an old friend in a while?” You stepped a bit forward, just to make sure that he would now actually be able to see you. And when he did, his face dropped in an instant. He had expected everything. Everything but this. He had tried to tell himself that he had made his peace with you being gone. He never did, of course, but having you stand right in front of him again made him bitterly aware of how little he had actually processed.

“Kaz, we-” Jesper tried to defend himself, but before he could even finish that sentence, the man in question left for his office.

“He seems a little…tense.” Jesper joked, causing Wylan to give him a really passable imitation of Kaz’s death glare.

“It’s fine, I’ll go after him.” You groaned, not letting your friends get another word in before following him up the stairs. For a man relying that heavily on a cane, Kaz was surprisingly fast when he needed to be, so he shut the door to his office before you were even half-up the stairs.

At this point, you knew that it was futile to knock or announce your presence, and the adrenaline rushing through your veins didn’t grant you the decision of thinking this through.

“I didn’t say you could come in.” He said firmly as you pushed the door open. It didn’t surprise you that he was already busying himself with another heist plan.

“That’s because I didn’t ask.”

“Why did you come back?” His eyes shot up to meet yours, and for a split second, you thought that you saw something akin to hurt flash over his face. He really was miserable. “I suppose you were doing just fine wherever you spent the last two years.”

“One of us had to.” You retorted sarcastically, letting your eyes roam around his office a bit. Kaz had a very particular sense of organization, but even with that, he wouldn’t normally have allowed this kind of mess to build up in his room. His desk was completely cluttered, discarded plans, notes and more unreadable files were occupying most of the space he was so fixated on keeping clean before you left. What caught you even more off-guard was the book that laid on top of the side table next to the couch you used to spend your days on. It was the book you started reading before your fight two years ago - the page where you stopped reading was marked with a crumpled piece of paper, that you did not put there.

“What do you want from me?” What did you want from him? An apology? An explanation? You weren’t sure, but you wanted something.

“I don’t know, Kaz.” You sighed, letting yourself fall into the padded seat across from him. His eyes never left you as you crossed the room. “I really don’t know what I expected from coming here, but I want something. Whatever you can give me, as long as it’s constructive.”

He stared back at you without saying a word. A thousand thoughts seemed to rush through his mind as he was trying to process your words. He had imagined that you would’ve never wanted to see him again. That you would have despised every chance of any future interactions. But you were here. He had another choice. Or at least he could try to work towards getting another one.

“If you don’t want this, it’s fine. I just don’t want to be the person responsible for the Slat burning down at some point.”

“No, stay.” He answered a bit too quickly, but the words were already leaving his mouth, so he didn’t see any point in stifling them. “The others need you.” His Adam’s apple bopped as he collected every piece of courage he could find. “I need you.”

You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows at his last comment, causing him to cringe ever so slightly. This was not that you had expected to hear so soon into the conversation - or ever, for that matter.

“I thought you didn’t need me?”

“So did I.” One of his bare hands flexed around the body of his fountain pen as he spoke, while his eyes were fixed on anything but your own. It was an odd thought, but you had never seen Kaz Brekker act this nervous. “I don’t particularly enjoy people pitying me. Not even you. It drove me mad that you, out of all people, felt the need to look at me like I was some bird with a broken wing in need of fixing.”

“Kaz, have you ever considered that I don’t pity you? I do hate watching you struggle. But that’s not because I look down on you or see you as someone weak.” At this point, you were glad that Nina wasn’t around. If she had any idea how fast your heart was beating right now, she would have never let you live this down. “Maybe it’s because I genuinely care about you?”

“Why?”

“Why what? Why do I care about you?” Saints, you knew that Kaz had a wild array of issues, but him having self-image issues seemed to be so incredibly unrealistic, that it was almost comical. “It’s incredibly sad that you feel you have to ask that, Kaz.”

“I don’t necessarily give people that much of a chance to care about me.”

“You may have not realized it, but you have given me more than enough chances to care about you. You’re far from being an earnest righteous man, but you’re just as far away from being an awful one. Do you really think that I would have stayed in your office for hours on end if I hadn’t enjoyed your company? I never knew whether you felt the same, but I didn’t feel like asking would have been fruitful.” You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen Kaz Brekker - the Bastard of the Barrel - look this confused. He looked as if someone had just told him that Matthias grew a pair of wings and flew out of the Slat.

“Your presence overwhelms me, but I grew sick of your absence just as much.” He closed his eyes, savouring the words that just rolled off his tongue without him even having to think about it.

“And what does that make us?” You leaned forward, just enough to be slightly bent over his desk. You knew that he was probably able to feel your faint breath on his skin by now. You knew that your hands were only a few inches away from his exposed ones. You knew that this was already testing the waters. But you also knew that you wanted - needed closure.

“It’s most likely to make both of us fools.”

“And would that be too bad? Being fools together?”

“Only if that is what you would also want.”

“Also? So this is what you want?” You inquired, feeling the corners of your mouth quirk up a bit.

“It doesn’t sound like the worst possible thing to happen.” The faint ghost of a smile flew over his face and for a moment you couldn’t even imagine how you managed to survive the last two years without him.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He mirrored your current position, torso slightly bent over his desk, one hand only a few inches away from yours. And much to your shock, he reached out to take yours. His bare hand was on yours. Without talking about it first how you practised with him before you left. The touch only lasted mere seconds before he gave you a gentle squeeze, and pulled away again.

“Does that mean that you’re staying?” He asked, watching a wide grin form on your lips.

“It doesn’t sound like the worst possible thing to do.”

“Do you think they are alright?” Wylan inquired quizzically as he stared up at the ceiling that separated the living room area from Kaz’s office.

“Emotionally or physically?” Jesper snorted, however, also having quite an unnerved look on his face.

“Have they ever been alright emotionally?” Matthias groaned, completely done with all the tension that had built up over the last few hours.

“The fact that they haven’t yelled at each other at all since they’ve been up there makes me a bit uncomfortable,” Nina added, fiddling with the binds of her dress nervously.

“At least that also means that they haven’t killed each other yet, so I’ll take that as a win,” Inej murmured, earning amused glances from the other Crows.

“Wait, guys! I think I can hear somebody coming down the stairs!” Jesper whisper-screamed as he heard the wooden stairs creak underneath the impact of feet coming downstairs.

“I can’t believe that I left you alone for two years.” You chuckled, carrying a stack of old heist plans as you entered the room. Kaz wasn’t far behind you, trying his best to stifle an honest smile. “How did you even manage to survive without me? These plans are over one year old! Why didn’t you throw them away?”

“What if I’d ever come to need them again?” Kaz argued playfully.

“What if I throw this pile of useless paper down the stairs with you following right after it?”

“Good argument.” Both of you crossed the room quickly, barely acknowledging the other Crows that had basically been buzzing with anticipation.

“Are they, like, friends again?” Wylan whispered after your footsteps disappeared again.

“I think they have just become something way worse than that. At least for my mental stability.” Matthias let his head fall back in defeat.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Kaz Brekker: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @juneberrie @writingmysanity @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkers-desigirl @fall-writes

[wesperbrekkered]

"Do I have a crush?" "You have whatever is after a crush." For Wesper Please

Maybe Inej or Nina says this to Jesper or to Wylan? Even Kaz possibly.

This is a lil snippet from Counting Down The Years, a wesper oneshot that is estimated to be finish between 10k and 15k words. Thank you sm for the ask!

_________________________________________

Jesper didn’t speak much on the journey home, choosing to look out the window of Matthias’ battered old truck instead. Matthias didn’t push, he just put on his Fjerdan folk songs on a low, manageable volume and hummed along to them.

He liked Wylan.

The realisation floored him, and he wasn’t entirely sure why.

It felt natural, because Wylan was always drawing Jesper in, always capturing his attention in the way that nothing, nothing ever could. It felt like the only sane way somebody would feel about him, because how could you not take a look at the magical creature that was Wylan Van Eck and want to give him fucking everything.

Wylan had always just been his best friend, but he supposed he never thought of an excuse to kiss his other friends every year.

He both thanked and rejected Matthias’ offer to stay with him, telling him to go back and enjoy himself and that ‘I can look after myself just fine, thank you very much.’ He shot Jesper a look at those words, but he finally left after giving Jesper a cartoon of leftover food that he’d smuggled with him.

Jesper could have cried.

He didn’t cry. Instead he placed the carton onto his nightstand and sat down on his bed heavily. His shirt was still wet, but he made no move to take it off.

Instead—

“Jesper?”

The voice over the phone was crackly and tired, and Jesper realised he probably should have remembered that timezones exist.

“Hey Da,” he whispered, feeling every string that was holding him together start to fray and snap.

“Jes?” there was more rustling, his father’s voice sounding more worried then sleep riddled now, “you alright?”

“I’m uh—” he hesitated, sucking in a breath, “I’m fine. I think.”

“Jes—”

“—Please.” His eyes burned like someone was poking them with red hot needles, his hand trembling where it clutched his phone to his ear, “please. I just—I just want to talk to you. I miss you.”

He could tell his father didn’t believe him, but Jesper didn’t feel ready to admit just yet what he’d saw, what he’d realised. He’d have to tell Nina tomorrow, he’d accepted that, but for right fucking now he wanted to forget.

Because if he didn’t forget he’d only end up crying, and Jesper felt too old to be crying over a boy.

He didn’t tell his Da about Wylan. He didn’t tell him that he’d only just realised that he liked his best friend. He didn’t tell him that he was struggling, that his course made him feel like he was drowning already, only three months in. He didn’t tell him that he already regretted ever coming here.

Instead, he lay back, shirt still wet, Matthias’ food sat unopened on the nightstand, eyes closed as he listened to his father talk about his week and what it was like being back on the farm and his Ma’s cherry tree.

“Jesper?” his father said suddenly, disrupting him from his sad thoughts.

“Yeah?” Jesper managed, forcing his voice not to crack.

“I love you, you know that right?”

Jesper inhaled suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut as tears seeped down his cheeks. “Yeah,” he tried, he tried, “Yeah I know. I love you too Da.”

When Kaz came back in the early hours of the morning, he wacked Jesper in the shin with the bottom of his cane, telling him to get dressed and eat something or ‘I swear to fucking Ghezen Jesper—’

Neither of them addressed his tear streaked face, or the way his voice was raspy and eyes red rimmed. He just ate his hutspot and let Kaz steal a few mouthfuls.

Later that night—morning—just as the clock turned to 5am, Jesper’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out on instinct, stomach turning to lead when he saw who it was from.

Wyvil

You OK? Nina said you had to leave early.

Jesper sucked in a breath. He could ignore. It was fucking 5am, Wylan wasn’t going to blame him for being asleep.

Jessie

im fine

someone spilled their drink on me and i nearly got sick

Jesper could never ignore Wylan, not really.

Wyvil

Well shit.

Want me to come over tomorrow with some stroopwafels?

And if any one word was likely to make Jesper cry, stroopwafel was the word.

Jessie

nah dw

i think nina has already claimed the nurse keeping position

Wyvil

Well if you need anything else, let me know!

Jesper promptly shoved his face into his pillow and he and Kaz both pretended he wasn’t crying.

You Wylan, I just need you.

“Alright. Spill.”

Jesper sighed.

The next morning—well, lunchtime—saw Nina sat in Jesper and Kaz’s shared dorm room, two steaming bowls of ramen balancing on his bed and Kaz grumbling about how he didn’t get any ramen.

‘If you want ramen you can get your own, Brekker,’ Nina had said, before turning her sharp, expectant gaze on Jesper.

“I may have... seen something,” he muttered, grabbing his bowl and cursing when it burnt his hands.

“I guessed that,” Nina huffed, “what did you see? Did you see what I think you saw?”

Jesper narrowed his eyes, “what do you think I saw?” He wasn’t appreciating this interrogation, thank you very much Nina.

Before he had a chance to answer, Kaz cut in, sounding bored, “he saw Wylan making out with that drummer.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Jesper cried, nearly dropping his bowl of ramen at the exact same time Nina exclaimed, “I fucking knew they were making eyes at each other!”

Kaz blinked at both of them, flicking through his business book because only Kaz fucking Brekker would be studying on New Years Day.

Jesper groaned, abandoning his bowl in favour of burying his face in his hands. “Do I have a crush?” he whined, almost pitifully except he was moping too much to really care. Maybe he was a moper.

“You have whatever is after a crush,” Kaz said flatly, not even looking up.

“Alright Brekker, shut up or I’m kicking you out,” Nina snapped, turning back to Jesper. “Do you think you have a crush?”

Peeking at her from between his fingers, Jesper shrugged, “I mean, maybe? I think so. I don’t know. Ninaa.”

Nina huffed lightly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “congrats Jes, you’re officially the last to know. Now eat your ramen.”

“Yes mom,” Jesper grumbled, but he felt eternally grateful for her anyway.

His phone buzzed from where it sat on the nightstand. Nina turned it off before he could even check who sent it.

Perhaps it was for the best.

[tinyarmedtrex]

Fake dating/accidental sexting

Hey, better late than never right? This is also for the weekly prompt from @i-can-read-to-him

“Last chance to back out.” Jesper said, pulling into an empty parking spot. 

“I’m not the one who wants to back out.” Wylan said as he tugged at his jacket. “You’re sure I look okay?”  

“Yes Wylan, you look amazing.” 

Wylan swallowed. Jesper’s voice had gotten softer as he’d said that and it made Wylan’s stomach flip. He forced himself to look away so Jesper didn’t see his blush. Jesper would have said that to anyone in the passenger’s seat, that’s just who he was.  Wylan wasn’t special. 

The two got out of the car and Jesper slipped his hand into Wylan’s. “We need to sell it after all.” He said as an explanation. Wylan opted to only nod. He couldn’t trust his voice. 

Jesper whistled as they entered the country club, “Damn, they went all out.”

“They really did.” The room they’d entered was decorated with fairy lights and flowers. Wylan could see at least a dozen waiters walking around with trays of food. 

Wylan spared a glance at Jesper. The wedding was for one of his cousins and Jesper was had been having a lot of feelings about it. After today, he was the last single cousin and his family wouldn’t let him forget it.  They’d offered multiple times to set him up with someone and each time he refused. It all came to a head when his aunt said she had the perfect wedding date for him and his reply had been that he already had a date, his boyfriend. 

Of course, the issue there was that Jesper didn’t actually have a boyfriend. He’d been complaining to Wylan about his predicament when Wylan had offered to go as his date. 

“People always think we’re dating anyway,” Wylan had said as he’d taken a pot off the stove. Jesper had been at his apartment, a place he spent most of his free time, and Wylan was making them dinner. 

“Wonder why.” Jesper commented as Wylan scooped pasta onto his plate. 

“It’s hard to cook for just one.” Wylan muttered. Jesper had just chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Wylan’s head. A casual gesture but one that made Wylan’s heart race. 

Things had moved fast after that. Wylan had picked the fish dish, so he and Jesper could try both options, and then he’d had his suit dry cleaned. Before he knew it Jesper was picking him up outside his apartment and driving them to the ceremony, which had been mercifully short. The easy part was now over. The reception was the trust test. Jesper had prepped Wylan for invasive questions and lots of hugging. 

“We can do this.” Wylan said as he squeezed Jesper’s hand. “It’s just four hours. And there’s an open bar.”

Jesper shook his head affectionately. “Look at you, being optimistic. I love it.” Then he threw his shoulders back. “Okay, let’s get this started.” They finished crossing into the party and almost immediately a family member approached, asking how long they’d been together and crooning about lovely it was that Jesper was finally settling down. Jesper took it all in stride, smiling and saying that it had taken someone like Wylan to tie him down. Wylan had felt himself flush.

This continued happening throughout dinner. Jesper’s family was all lovely and shared his lack of social graces. Wylan had never been asked so many questions that turned his whole face bright red. 

Then the dancing started. Jesper had whisked him to the dance floor and everyone melted away except for the two of them. Jesper’s long arms wrapped around Wylan, holding him close as they danced. 

And that was when Wylan made an excuse to leave. It was all too much. Having Jesper’s arms on him, how they’d been leaning into each other all night, how Jesper had insisted on feeding Wylan his cake. Wylan needed a moment to catch his breath, to remind himself that none of this was real. 

Wylan went outside to the balcony, which was mercifully empty. Then he pulled out his phone and saw he had several missed notifications. Some were from Nina, telling him to make a move on Jesper. Others were from Inej, telling him to have fun. Then finally one was from a hook up app he’d joined. He hadn’t met anyone from the app yet but he’d been messaging several people. 

He glanced around again. It was dangerous to listen to the note here but he didn’t wait to wait. The guy had a way with words, his messages always sent a tingle down Wylan’s spine. Wylan had no idea how much of what the guy told him was true but he really didn’t care. All he wanted was for someone to want him. 

Confirming that he was alone Wylan hit ‘play’ on the converted voice note, feeling himself blush as he listened. The man certainly was inventive. Wylan opened his recorder to reply. 

“Love your ideas baby. I’ve dreamt about having your tongue on me, how it would feel to have you take me apart. Tell me what other ideas you have.” 

Wylan hit send before he could second guess the message. He may be here with Jesper but that was just for tonight. Tomorrow they would go back to being just friends. 

The reply came faster than he expected. Wylan hit play. 

“You want ideas?” The automated voice read to him.  “You have no idea what I’ve thought about doing to you. I’ve wanted to kiss you for ages but that’s just the start. You’re sure you want to hear them?”

Wylan frowned. It was unusual for this guy to check in, usually he just whatever he was thinking.

“I’ve been waiting all night to hear them.’

Again, the reply came uncharacteristically quick. 

‘I want to push you against a wall and kiss you senseless. I want to throw you on top of your purple bedspread and crawl onto you, pushing my body against yours. I want everything with you.”

Wylan’s eyes grew wide. He’d never sent a picture of his bedroom, let alone his bedspread. He quickly check who he’d been messaging with. 

Wylan’s blood ran cold as Jesper’s name glowed bright at the top of his screen. 

Fuck fuck fuck

He nearly dropped his phone, trying to figure out how to undo what he’d done. He’d fucked everything up. 

“This is bad. This is bad.” He muttered, running a hand through his hair. 

“I hope that comment isn’t about my spelling.” A voice called from behind him. 

Wylan turned to see Jesper standing in the doorway. 

“No- I - it’s not-” Wylan stammered. He could feel himself flushing down to his bellybutton as he tried to string words together. “I thought you were someone else.”

Jesper strode towards him, stopping in front of Wylan. “Another fake date? I saw one of my uncles checking you out.” 

“No. Um-” Wylan pointed to his phone. “The messages.” 

Jesper physically deflated in front of him. “Oh, that makes more sense. I probably should have figured that out. I thought it was an uncharacteristic way for you to confess your feelings.” He started to step back but Wylan reached for him. 

“Wait.” Wylan blinked, trying to put everything together. “You thought- you thought I was confessing my feelings?”

Jesper looked away. “No. Maybe. I had hoped the romance of tonight, the dancing- it’s stupid.”

Wylan rushed forward and took Jesper’s hands in his own. His heart was pounding but he forced himself to say the next part. “Jesper yes, I want that. With you.” 

Jesper still looked skeptical so Wylan took Jesper’s face in his hands. “I’ve wanted that with you for years” He continued. “But  I never thought you would want me.” 

“Wylan,” Jesper shook his head. “How could I not want you? I assumed you didn’t want me. ”

Wylan chuckled. They really were meant for each other. “Jesper, how could I not fall for you? Look at you.”

Jesper’s wiggled his eyebrows them looked Wylan over slowly. “Look at yourself. Especially in that suit.”

Wylan smiled, fighting this blush. “Should we go back to the party? Prove to your family that you can land a boyfriend?”

Jesper shook his head, his hands curling on Wylan’s hips. “I’d rather stay out here and talk more about those texts.”

“Just talk?” He teased. 

“No, not just talking.” Jesper said, dipping his head to bring their lips together. They didn’t make it back inside for a long time. 

[kazscrows]

Crooked Kingdom Reread

Part Two: A Killing Wind

Chapter 5: Jesper

Once again he found himself reaching for his revolvers, longing for the cool, familiar feel of their pearl handles beneath his thumbs…

…Kaz said they’d get them back in good time, but he doubted Kaz would be so calm and collected if someone had swiped his cane. You’re the one who put them on the table like a nub, Jesper reminded himself. He’d done it for Inej. And if he was honest, he’d done it for Kaz too, to show he was willing to do what it took to make things right. Not that it seemed to matter much.

Jesper is trying so hard

It hurts so much because everything was an accident

I’m sorry Kaz has the emotional range of a teaspoon when it comes to expressing his feelings and just talking things through

He sometimes wondered what might have happened if he’d never gone out with his new friends that night, if he’d never walked into that gambling parlor and taken that first spin at Makker’s Wheel. It was meant to be harmless fun. And for everyone else, it had been. But Jesper’s life had split like a log into two distinct and uneven pieces: the time before he’d stepped up to that wheel and every day since.

Jesper’s gambling addiction is so interesting to me

It makes me wonder if it’s the gambling itself or just the idea that he can’t know the outcome that draws him in

Like.. is it the uncertainty that gives him the adrenaline rush much like how he enjoys the unknown and thrill of the fight?

He’s such a deep character

Every one of the Crows are really

Also I wonder where those supposed “friends” of his are now

Poor Jes is nervous to face his father

He’d hoped that Kaz would offer to accompany him. But when they’d split up to approach the university, Kaz had spared him only one dark glance. The message had been clear: You dug this grave. Go lie in it.

Ouch

Not even “dig yourself back out” just basically leaving him for dead…

That’s pretty harsh Kaz…

It had been nearly two years since Jesper had set foot on university grounds. He’d never officially withdrawn from school. He hadn’t even really decided not to attend. He’d simply started spending more and more time on East Stave, until he looked up one day and realized the Barrel had become his home.

Ever single one of these children wound up in the Barrel on accident

I guess that’s the point though

No one willingly chooses that place. That life.

All his attention focused on the man standing near the eastern wall, gazing up at the stained-glass windows, a crumpled hat clasped in his hands. With a pang, Jesper realized his father had worn his best suit. He’d combed his Kaelish red hair tidily back from his brow. There was gray in it now that hadn’t been there when Jesper left home.

This just makes my heart ache

Also Mr. Fahey sounds like a sweet man, he’s doing his best

Jesper’s throat felt dry-sand parched. “Da,” he croaked. His father’s head snapped up and Jesper steeled himself for what might come next—whatever insults or outrage his father hurled at him, he deserved. But he wasn’t prepared for the relieved grin that split his father’s craggy features. Someone might as well have put a bullet right in Jesper’s heart.

“Jes!” his father cried. And then Jesper was crossing the courtyard and his father’s arms were tight around him, hugging him so hard Jesper thought he actually felt his ribs bend.

I always think about the parable of the prodigal son here

The first thing Jesper’s father does upon seeing him isn’t to scold him or make him feel ashamed

He embraces him and is overjoyed to just see him once again

I love that parable

Ah right, then they start getting shot at

“Wylan, tell me you’re packing more than pens, ink, and weevil makings.”

“I’ve got two flash bombs and something new I rigged up with a little more, um, wallop.”

“Bombs?” Jesper’s father asked, blinking as if to wake himself from a bad dream.

Jesper shrugged helplessly. “Think of them as science experiments?”

Poor Mr. Fahey has no real idea what‘s truly going on

“Jesper—”

“Da, I swear I’ll explain everything, but right now all you need to know is that we’re in a bad situation, and bad situations happen to be my area of expertise.” And it was true. Jesper could feel himself coming alive, the worry that had been dogging his steps since he’d gotten news of his father’s arrival in Ketterdam falling away. He felt free, dangerous, like lightning rolling over the prairie. “Trust me, Da.”

“All right, boy. All right.”

Jesper really does thrive in a fight

And I love that his dad just trusts him

Okay this fight scene would actually be so cool to see live action

I need that SoC spin-off so we can get here someday!

Jesper reloaded and popped up from behind the fountain, shooting.

“All Saints,” he shouted as pain tore through his shoulder. He really hated being shot. He shrank back behind the stone lip. He flexed his hand, testing the damage to his arm. Just a scratch, but it hurt like hell, and he was bleeding all over his new tweed jacket. “This is why it doesn’t pay to try to look respectable,” he muttered.

I guess Jesper has been shot before. Makes sense but still

They way he’s more upset about his clothes being ruined over the actual idea of being shot though

Also I can hear Kit saying that. His poor jacket

“Help me,” said Jesper. “We need to barricade the entrance.”

The man behind the desk wore gray scholar’s robes. His nostrils were flared so wide in effrontery that Jesper feared being sucked up one of them. “Young man—”

Help I just snorted—

Jesper pointed his gun at the scholar’s chest. “Move.”

“Jesper!” his father said.

“Don’t worry, Da. People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It’s basically a handshake.”

“Is that true?” his father asked as the scholar grudgingly moved aside and they shoved the heavy desk in front of the door.

“Absolutely,” said Wylan.

“Certainly not,” said the scholar.

Please why is this so funny??

I’m dying

Jesper really just took time to stop and flirt with a girl as they’re being pursued by people who are shooting at them

People are literally trying to kill you! Now is not the time, my guy!!

—these were the moments he lived for. He should be buzzing from the excitement of the fight. The thrill was still there, fizzing through his blood, but beside it was a cold, unfamiliar sensation that felt like it was draining the joy from him. All he could think was, Da could have been hurt. He could have died. Jesper was used to people shooting at him. He would have been a little insulted if they’d stopped shooting at him. This was different. His father hadn’t chosen this fight. His only crime had been putting his faith in his son.

Oh Jesper-

He makes my heart hurt a lot

That’s the problem with Ketterdam, Jesper thought as they stumbled uncertainly through the dark. Trusting the wrong person can get you killed.

Oh my gosh Jesper thinks this and then it immediately goes to Nina for the next chapter

Is this saying something about Matthias trusting Nina??

Or maybe foreshadowing for Matthias trusting that a drüskelle wouldn’t kill an unarmed man…

Or it’s late and I’m just thinking too much

First | Previous | Next

[thebadgerclan]

Goat

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Wylan Van Eck

Summary: Jesper leaves out one crucial detail...

A/N: This happened, this 100% happened 😂

Jesper was always loose lipped when he was drunk.  When the beer and ale started flowing, so did the Zemini’s words, and most times, it was highly amusing to hear Jesper ramble on about Saints know what.  But tonight, all Wylan wanted to do was throttle someone.  Jesper was well into his cups while his fiance had cut himself off at three, leaving him pleasantly buzzed but sober enough to recall the evening tomorrow.

The story Jesper was telling had started as the one of his, Kaz, and Inej’s botched job to kidnap the Sun Summoner, but had quickly turned to his apparent lost love.  “Oh, it was love at first sight!” Jesper lamented.  “As soon as I set eyes on my sweet Milo, I knew there would never be anyone like him!”  Wylan had his hands in his lap, clenching his pants in his first, his knuckles whiter than a ghost.

Kaz was smirking, and Inej was howling with laughter.  “Do you remember when we crossed the Fold?” she asked, and Jesper barked out laughter.  “I do!  Ghezen, he’s the only reason I was able to do it!  I was so fucking scared, but with him in my arms, I felt like I could do anything.”  “How poetic, Jesper,” Kaz said, taking a sip of his drink.”  “But then we came home,” Jesper continued.  “And I haven’t seen him since.”

The mood had shifted drastically, and Wylan couldn’t help but take his fiance’s hand.  Jesper leaned into Wylan’s side, letting his eyes slide closed.  “What if we could find him?” Inej asked, and Jesper was sitting upright again.  “What?”  “My parents are still in Ravka, I’m sure they could try to track him down.”

“Would you really?”  “Of course!” Inej said, and Jesper’s face lit up like East Stave.  “Inej, have I ever told you how much I adore you?”  “On occasion.”  And the subject dropped.  Jesper, after being practically carried home by Wylan and waking up with a pounding headache, remembered none of the conversation, but Wylan did, and it left a bad taste in his mouth and a pit in his stomach.

Who was Milo, and how much had Jesper loved?  Judging by last night’s lament, a lot, and it also appeared that his fiance wasn’t quite over his old flame.  But Jesper wasn’t any less loving toward his fiance, he wasn’t acting any differently or as if he had anything to hide, and Wylan tried his best to let it go.  Just when Milo was the farthest thing from his mind, Kaz arrived at his and Jesper’s home.

“Inej has a surprise for you,” he said, and Jesper and Wylan followed him to the docks.  When they arrived, the Suli was bouncing on the balls of her feet, a giddy smile on her face.  “Jesper!  Do you remember the other night when you were talking about Milo?”  Jesper cocked his head.  “No?”  Inej chuckled.  “You were pretty drunk.  But you were talking about Milo and how you wished you could see him again.  So, I wrote to my parents, and…..”

Inej’s mother disembarked from The Wraith, and Wylan mentally braced himself.  Braced himself to meet the man that still occupied a part of his fiance's heart.  He expected a tall man, brown hair and green eyes, teeth whiter than snow, a confident swagger in his step.  But the man who stepped off the gangway was…..a goat?

Jesper squealed with delight and flew from Wylan’s embrace, nearly toppling off of the dock as he gathered the goat in his arms.  “Milo!” Jesper cried.  “Oh, my love, I never thought I’d see you again!”  Wylan felt like he could throw up or laugh hysterically, probably both.  Milo bleated happily, and after a moment, Wylan took a few steps forward.  “Jes?”  “Yeah, baby?”  He hadn’t looked away from the goat, and Wylan crossed his arms.  “When you were lamenting about the love you left behind in Ravka, did it ever occur to you to mention that he’s a goat?!”

The Zemini sensed his fiance’s irritation, and gently set Milo on the dock and stood.  “Oh Wylan, baby, I’m sorry.  I…I never thought about that.  Kaz and ‘Nej, they knew about Milo, and I guess it slipped my mind that you didn’t.”  Wylan only nodded, and Jesper smirked.  “Wait, baby, were you jealous?”  Wylan felt himself flush, and Jesper laughed.  

“Saints, you were!  Wylan, baby, I love you, I love you more than I could ever love Milo.”  He turned over his shoulder to look at the goat, and whispered, “Sorry, love,” which made Wylan giggle.  “There’s the smile I love.”  Jesper bent to kiss him, and all fears of Jesper’s attention wandering were gone.  After a few minutes, Inej cleared her throat, and Jesper pulled back.  

“There’s something else,” she said.  “Mama talked to the owners of the farm, and they were willing to part with him.”  Jesper’s jaw went slack, and Wylan could feel the excitement bubbling up in him.  “Are you saying…?”  “He’s yours, Jes.”  Jesper leapt into the amr and launched towards Inej, scooping her up in a hug.  “I love you!” he cried, once more picking Milo up.  “I love you!”  Jesper shifted the goat into one arm and pulled Wylan into the other.  “But I love you most, baby.”

[aphroditestummyrolls]

Between Hope and Desperation bc i am a predictable bitch (but it's my birthday so i'm entitled xD)

BIRTHDAY FRIEND BIRTHDAY FRIEND ✨🎉✨🎉✨

For your birthday, you get almost 200 extra words than I usually give for these snippets 😂 I love you, and I hope you’re birthday is as wonderful as you are.

CW for self harm

“All this time, all those bloody lies, and you were just some merchling? Slumming it up for the thrill—?”

“Do I look thrilled?” He didn’t know where he found the energy to snap like he did, but Wylan couldn’t just sit there and take this. Not now, not from Jesper.

He was looking at him the way Wylan always feared he would if he knew the truth.

Merchling. He couldn’t live with it, knowing that was what the only man he’d ever loved thought of him. Even if it’s what he was.

“Nobody chooses the Barrel.” His hands were trembling, throat tight and dry. He fought to swallow around the cold lump lodged in his windpipe, and dug his burnt hand against the dirt floor of… wherever they were. The pain seemed to be the only thing that forced the words to come.

“Then how did you stumble your way down to us?”

“He tried to kill me.” In case you missed that— it’s the reason we’re here. He wanted to say something mean about head trauma, but held his tongue. Now that the important words were out, chilling the air between them, Wylan couldn’t seem to stop.

He’d never said it all out loud before.

“Part of me thinks he always wanted to kill me, but I know that’s not true. You can’t be disappointed in someone unless you were pinning your hopes on them at one point. Right?” He laughed, a little manic, but Jesper had gone silent and still.

Don’t look at me like that, he begged, I’m not a stranger. You know me! Better than anyone!

“I, um, you know— y’know I can’t read. And he tried— my father— he tried everything to get it to take. Tutors, treatments, therapies, b-beatings. He was desperate for me to learn. I was… I was desperate, too. But, I just… it’s not something I can do.”

He’d scraped his fingers raw. The dirt had gone muddy and hot with his blood.

“I ended up in the Barrel because he gave up on me. I was a, a defective attempt at an heir, and his new wife was pregnant. So, he… he told me he was sending me away, to a music school.” That was always the worst part, for some reason: the shame of hoping for that split second before everything went wrong. “He put me on a boat with two of his men, and…”

For a moment, he was certain he couldn’t breathe, that a broad hand was still crushing down on him. But, he managed the words.

That was when Jesper finally moved in his periphery. He’d long since been too cowardly to look up at him, but now, he couldn’t avoid it. Stretching to the very end of his chain, Jes scooped Wylan’s bloodied fingers into his palm, letting out a quiet curse. He held his wounded hand like a baby bird fallen from a nest, barely curling around the damage, but keeping them safe from more harm nonetheless.

He missed the sting of it immediately, but Sweet Ghezen, that callused, familiar warmth felt so good.

“I swam up the canal to the Barrel.” He finished in a whisper. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to meet Jesper’s luminous eyes in the dark, to see his face. His bruised, beaten, beautiful face.

If you’d just died when you were supposed to, he wouldn’t be here.

“Wy?” Jesper finally breathed. “Wylan, please look at me.”

And Wylan had never considered himself particularly good at resisting. Especially not a request from Jesper Fahey.

He looked resolute— somehow older than Wylan had ever seen him. Stony.

“That man is a monster. And no matter how you made it to the Barrel, I… I’m so sorry.”

He wasn’t mad at him. He was mad for him. He was—

“The only person who’s going to die in this room is your miserable excuse for a father.”

He was holding his hand; he had blood slicked from his temple to his collar; and he was like some type avenging angel, staring Wylan in the face like he could will hope back into his heart.

And, if anyone could, it was him.

This is the first time I’ve ever written a Wylan Backstory Reveal™️, but I know how much you love them ❤️ and this story is so intense! I hope you like it 🎂 happy birthday, I love you, and thank you for playing my little game.

[trinitros]

starter for @thegamblesofketterdam

it wasn’t strange to find wylan cooped up in their lab for hours and hours on end, it was their favourite place to be. well, second favourite. they always seemed to be finding new things and expanding on them and before they even knew it, it had been hours and they’d missed a meeting or a meal. it happened often but they always made sure to make up for such things. it wasn’t their fault that the lab called their name like nothing else.

he’d been in the lab all day by time he’d realized it was the darks of the night, possibly very early morning if he wasn’t careful. the moon had risen in the sky and was just passed the midpoint, at least he thought it was anyway. he clicked his tongue and turned back to his chemicals, hoping to at least get the last bit he needed done before he turned in for the night, before he curled up in jesper’s arms and forgot about everything else.

though it seemed the mentioned lover of his had different ideas. he felt a soft blanket on his shoulders and warm hands placing it there. he didn’t have to guess who it was and he smiled. the blanket was warm, like it had been wrapped around someone for ages before it was placed on his shoulders. he placed down the vials he’d been holding and wrapped the blanket around him tighter while he turned.

“i’m late again, aren’t i?”

they did feel bad, they didn’t meant to get so wrapped up in what they were doing that they forgot to go to bed or whatever ‘priorities’ they had. to be frank, wylan was sure their only priorities were their chemicals and jesper. anything else could wait until those two things were finished with and by the looks of it, there never was an end and that was how wylan liked it.

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 3

Now, on to the reread, a chapter by own very own Kazzle Dazzle!

_

Chapter 3: Kaz

“Don’t tell me my business, Jes.”

“You think I’m dirty, too?”

“If I thought you were dirty, you’d be holding your guts in on the floor of the Exchange like Big Bol, so stop running your mouth.”

I like it that Kaz calls Jesper “Jes” since the beginning, but since the Crows’ appearance in S&B is supposed to be a “prequel” of sorts, I’m sure we’ll see Kaz call Jesper “Jes” at some point in the spin off (because we are getting it).

And also, he trusts Jes too much to “spill his guts in the Exchange”. Proof is how he treated him after he spilled where they were going. He was an ass to Jesper, yes, and he also fought him (without his cane) but he wasn’t anywhere near deadly violent to him. So shut up Kaz, you big softie!

“Kaz shrugged, unwilling to give her an answer. Inej was always trying to wring little bits of decency from him. “When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.”

“Why did you even agree to the meet if you knew it was a set-up?” She was somewhere to the right of him, moving without a sound. He’d heard other members of the gang say she moved like a cat, but he suspected cats would sit attentively at her feet to learn her methods.”

And the show draws inspiration from this dialogue for episode 4 of the second season, called “Every Monstrous Thing”, where, curiously enough, he “does” another monstroous thing (burying Alby) without actually doing so. I know what you did there, S&B!

Also, it will be very cool how they portray this part of the book in the show, where Inej is talking to him from somewhere in the shadows but can’t really be seen. 

“For a while she said nothing, then from somewhere behind him he heard her. “Men mock the gods until they need them, Kaz.”

He didn’t see her go, only sensed her absence.”

I wonder if Kaz prayed when Inej was injured by Oomen, later on. 

Also, that last sentence sounds lovely for some reason. Like poetic. 

“Kaz gave an irritated shake of his head. To say he trusted Inej would be stretching the point, but he could admit to himself that he’d come to rely on her. It had been a gut decision to pay off her indenture with the Menagerie, and it had cost the Dregs sorely. Per Haskell had needed convincing, but Inej was one of the best investments Kaz had ever made. That she was so very good at remaining unseen made her an excellent thief of secrets, the best in the Barrel. But the fact that she could simply erase herself bothered him. She didn’t even have a scent. All people carried scents, and those scents told stories – the hint of carbolic on a woman’s fingers or woodsmoke in her hair, the wet wool of a man’s suit, or the tinge of gunpowder lingering in his shirt cuffs. But not Inej. She’d somehow mastered invisibility. She was a valuable asset. So why couldn’t she just do her job and spare him her moods?”

Oh my dude, your opinion’s gonna change by the second book, and maybe even before that! It reminds me to the part where Wylan asks him if he would be able to trust someone with his weaknesses and he thinks that yes, there’s one person who would never take advantage of his weaknesses.

Also, how is it possible that Inej doesn’t have a scent? Can humans not have a scent? Although we’re reading a fantasy book, maybe some things can be overlooked without thinking too much about them?

“Ghosts, Kaz thought. A boy’s fear, but it came with absolute surety. Jordie had come for his vengeance at last. It’s time to pay your debts, Kaz. You never get something for nothing.

[...]

But if they managed it, even after Per Haskell got his cut, Kaz’s share of the scrub would be enough to change everything, to finally put into motion the dream he’d had since he’d first crawled out of a cold harbour with revenge burning a hole in his heart. His debt to Jordie would be paid at last.”

It saddens me to think that Kaz thinks Jordie would want to take revenge on him or thinks that he ows him something, considering that he was only 9 years old when Jordie died and he was not at fault for anything :(

Van Eck thumbed through the papers in his hand. “You were first arrested at ten,” he said, scanning the page.

“Everyone remembers his first time.”

Is he making a sex joke or am I just reading too much into it?

“The mercher cleared his throat. “When Bo Yul-Bayur sent us the sample of jurda parem, we fed it to three Grisha, one from each Order.”

Oh, so he was indeed with Councilman Hoede in his boat safehouse in the beginning! I didn’t catch that the first time I read it. 

“So that was the secret behind the murder of the ambassador in the washroom. And the gold in those three Shu ships must have been Fabrikator made. Kaz hadn’t heard anything about Ravkan documents, but he nodded anyway.”

Haha silly me who didn’t make the connection between a drugged Grisha and the assassination of the Zemeni ambassador. And of course that is why Kaz and Inej hadn’t come up with an explanation - because they didn’t know of the existence of jurda parem or what the drug did to Grishas.

“You have to know he’s probably dead. The Fjerdans hate Grisha. There’s no way they’d let knowledge of this drug get out.”

So interesting to see how Kaz literally spoiled what happened to Bo Yul-Bayur. He really died. Or more like he died even before the book started. He was also right on the fact that they didn’t let the knowledge of the drug get out, because they kept Kuwei under lock and chains - until the Crows came, of course.

“Our sources say he is very much alive and that he is awaiting trial.” Van Eck cleared his throat.”

Well, evidently your sources are wrong. Either that or you were deceived on purpose, Van Eck. 

“From what I know of the Ice Court, whoever stole my DeKappel is exactly who I need for this job.”

“Then you’d be better off hiring him. Or her.”

I love how they’re almost dancing around each other in this conversation. Van Eck basically acknowledging that it was Kaz who stole the DeKappel and Kaz just playing dumb until his last breath. It gives me RoW “I don’t know who Inej is” vibes.

“Van Eck led him through a door and into a manicured garden, thick with the new nectar scent of early crocuses. The smell hit Kaz like a blow to the jaw. Memories of Jordie were already too fresh in his mind, and for a moment, Kaz wasn’t walking through the canal-side garden of a rich merch, he was knee-deep in spring grasses, hot sun beating down on his cheeks, his brother ’s voice calling him home.”

I hope in a future book we can get more details about how Kaz’s life was like before he and Jordie went to Ketterdam. Here we only get the barest glimpse but I wish we knew more.

“Van Eck sighed and crouched down to turn the body over. “We’ve lost another,” he said.

The boy was young, the bare scraps of a moustache on his upper lip.” 

Oh no, Joost!! Why is it that I’m just now reading about his death? Well, maybe because he’s not mentioned again by anyone, but still!

“Oh, it’s worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don’t get paid.”

That’s almost the same thing he says to Nikolai in 2.07, with the “I didn’t know you were patriots” and him answering with “Well, if you die, we don’t get paid”.

So that’s all for chapter 3, next up comes again our darling Inej <3

[jeanmoreaux]

Hi!!! Sorry for this question, I haven’t read SoC in a while™️ and I wanted to ask what makes Kaz and Wylan kind of similar in your POV? Cz I remember him looking up to Kaz in some sort of way but not that they were specifically alike 😂 pls help this aging fan, I’m just curious!

oh, i'm happy to share some of my thought on what i mentioned in this post about regarding wylan as somewhat of an alter to kaz! i'd love to give you some exact quotes and page numbers, but i sadly don't have the time to go back to the text and search for all the details. consequently, my claims will be rather broad and you might have to make up your own mind, on a re-read, if you (dis-)agree with my thoughts on the matter.

first, it's important to mention that, for me, wylan embodies many of the qualities of who we assume kaz rietveld was. he's honest, earnest, a little sheltered, has a firm moral compass and generally believes in kindness/goodness. he's then—quite violently—thrust into this new life, left all alone with no one to lean on. interestingly, both their "rebirths" are closely related to water (there is sure something to be said about the symbolism of water as something cleansing and its important role in baptisms.... also the implications of almost drowning but ultimately making it to shore. it's like a shared metaphor.)

They both then cleverly adopt personas to survive ketterdam's streets and distance themselves from their pasts. and here is were a lot of differences in their circumstance and environment come in. kaz's only option is to "toughen up" and turn into "the bastard of the barrel" & dirtyhands. wylan, on the other hand, continually makes himself out to be this naive ingénue in the criminal world (even way past beyond the point that's true) to fly under the radar. the thing is, since wylan falls in with the crows and has people like kaz around to do the "morally dirty" work, he gets to hold on to many of his qualities that kaz had to lay down to survive. kaz didn't have someone to do that for him.

((wylan occasionally makes some offhand remarks that hint a potential for violence, or at least an awareness of necessary violence, but he's never actually forced to act violently to save or protect others. there's not really a reason for him to suppress his empathy completely. it's clear, though, that if push came to shove he could stomach what the situation throws at him and deal with it. he's not a delicate flower, but compared to kaz he's lucky enough that he doesn't have to repress his natural tendency for kindness.))

Both characters are also intelligent and curious (they need so understand how things work) and they use that as a way to work around their individual weaknesses (kaz's issues with mobility & wylans dyslexia). for both of them, their intelligence is probably their greatest asset. they also both like a puzzle (mainly because they enjoy the process of solving it). generally i'd say their minds work much alike, which we see especially during the planning and execution of the plan to steal jan van eck's seal or when wylan deciphers kaz's cryptic infos that lead him to his mom—it's just that wylan usually doesn't use his faculties for crime. this also this is also somewhat hinted at by inej (and jesper) in ck when they're hatching out some plan and she goes like "wait, wylan, is that a scheming face?!" which is very much an expression for a look that has only ever been brought up in connection with kaz before that point. an interesting detail, that doesn't have to mean anything but is worth mentioning, is the fact that kaz often trusts wylan with more details than the other crows. whether that be to receive some input or just have a second person look for holes in his plan or out of necessity or some other reason is not always clear, but it definitely means that kaz values wylan's talents and mental faculties.

oh, and ofc wylan is probably just as cunning as kaz when he wants to be. they both can read people motives and intentions pretty well while being skilled in concealing their own (think: kaz in almost every situation ever, also think: wylan's kuwei stunt in soc or his spiel towards the end of ck). wylan's various tricks he uses to divert attention form his dyslexia fall in this cunning behaviour as well, i'd say. like, he knows exactly how to hide that he can't read but at the same time get people to help him without them even noticing (pretending he's too new to an area to understand written direction or claiming he can't read someone's handwriting, not knowing sufficient fjerdan to complete the writing on the map, etc.). if i remember correctly not even kaz figures it out, wylan has to tell him about it.