#You about stuff. But with others I really struggle. I may have trust issues“

[mrfoox]

I love Fabian so fucking much how... Lucky I am 🥺

[ilycosy]

bottom luke! bottom luke! bottom luke—

i may be a subbottom but a gal can dream !!! (also my friend eats bottom luke up so :3)

i js know that he'd be such a 50/50 guy tbh !!! ur either getting the sweetest boy ever or the biggest brat ever (headcanons !!!!)

warnings : TLT SPOILERS , afab + amab! reader , pegging , overstim , dacryphilia , creampie , petnames (pretty boy, sweet boy, princess) , daddy & mommy kink , loving sex but also toxic , also YES i feminized luke

afab reader (mommy kink)

୨୧ — he's definitely more on the good boy spectrum with somebody that has a mommy kink, especially if they're on the softer side of it?? he's so whipped and ready to listen

୨୧ — gets super embarrassed though when it's brought up, being the best swordsman at camp he definitely struggles with the need to be dominant or prove himself capable of taking care of you (which he can !! you just like taking care of him more)

୨୧ — ok now onto the actual sex !! he's superr whiny, like im talking high pitched and having to muffle his noises in the bed type whiny. hes constantly out of breath and panting when being prepped, no matter the amount of fingers

୨୧ — he says he prefers smaller straps because they're easier to take but i think he's just a little insecure (that can be fixed w a little bit of talking)

୨୧ — weak at the mfing knees for being called a good boy— "you're such a good boy for mommy!" "good boy, now turn around." "be a good boy for me?" — he's a puddle on the floor now

୨୧ — he definitely gets jealous if he finds out you've pegged others (i said it was a lil toxic !!!) so he ends up with his own toys, mainly out of spite rather than actual concern for germs (also ,, who doesn't love custom stuff ??)

୨୧ — as an apology for the betrayal, he basically begs you to use him (his words not mine) he lowk doesn't want you to stop until he's crying and can't cum anymore. he tries to run off before aftercare and tbh won't accept it due to guilt (unless you join him , like i said , he's toxic)

— afab reader 🤝 amab reader = calling luke pretty boy

amab reader (daddy kink)

୨୧ — different from afab, i think he would lean more on the bratty side. he definitely has issues with accepting men as authority figures (look at his dad) so i think it might take some getting used to being the bottom (esp the sub)

୨୧ — he never talks about it, especially when others could potentially hear. he likes making people believe that he's the dominant one in the relationship even though he's not and both of you know it

୨୧ — actual sex !! he's still super whiny, but he probably tries to hide it a lot more. he chokes up a lot on his own spit from holding it in (dw just force his mouth open !!) but for some reason he seems to like it better that way, being forced to make noise

୨୧ — doesn't really matter how big you are, but he definitely leans more on size queen... !! he tries to hide it but he can't help but buck his hips back onto your cock when it's near

୨୧ — he will never admit it, but being called princess and being treated like he's fragile will always get him going— "cmere princess, come sit." "shh princess, you don't want people to hear do you?" "are you seriously that desperate for daddy's cock princess?" — he's WEAK !!!!

୨୧ — don't ever and i mean ever talk about your sex life in front of others, you don't even need to have slept with people for him to be clawing at your back to make sure you know you're his later !!

୨୧ — he definitely expects you to join his side w the betrayal, he can't fathom putting sm trust and allowing a masc authority figure in his life like that only for you to side w others— he begs and pleads during the hate (or love if you're going w him) fuck for you to cum in him so he has something

★ general note, while i wrote this w fem & masc readers in mind (duh) i think luke doesn't care abt genitals and relies more on terms w how he acts !!! like if you were afab but liked to be called daddy he'd be more bratty & vice versa <3

[hermesmyplatonicbeloved]

This post [X] contains a pjo fan desperately wanting to believe that Percy/Annabeth isn't toxic.

A Percy/Annabeth shipper responded and honestly I don't agree with some of the stuff they said. They specifically mentioned percabeth antis a couple times and I felt I need to address a few things since they were missing the point about a lot of arguments I've made.

It's far more than just the nickname. That's literally just the tip of the iceberg. I don't know why so many people get caught up on the nickname when it's like. some of the least shit Annabeth has done to Percy that we take issue with. For me, anyway.

Also, like it would be one thing if Annabeth was just using the seaweed nickname as an insult at 12 years old like most children do and grew out of it later on as she matured, but that's not the case. Read Riordan, from Annabeth at college (an adult):

It's more of an indication to me of what Annabeth really thinks of Percy. She doesn't respect him. When he has achievements (ones in academia which he canonically has struggled with and felt shitty about), instead of being happy for him like a supportive friend/girlfriend would, she seethes in jealously and envy. She has to be better than him, because if he's stupid and she's less than him that means she's stupid too, and she can't have that as the daughter of the wisdom and strategy goddess.

This comes from the passage in HoH where Percy mumbles that Tartarus smells like Smelly Gabe and Annabeth laughs at him.

I agree, its fairly flimsy because as far as we've seen Percy has never confided with Annabeth that his first step father was a piece of shit that liked to threatened to beat him into unconsciousness. It's a very traumatic thing and that takes a certain level of trust to share. She could've straight up not known and missed all of Percy's signals that he wanted to confide in her about it then.

One thing that trips me up tho is that a lot of people like to excuse the laughter saying that Percy is using jokes to cope with the trauma - and while we've seen other characters do that we literally never see Percy joking about Gabe's trauma. He never talks about it, barely even thinks about it. So I would say it's incredibly unrealistic to say that he was making a joke prompting laughter as a coping strategy.

Yeahhhh that's the thing!! They never do talk. They never communicate about these super important issues!! If they did, then they could have a healthy relationship. But they don't! And that's the problem!!

You can say "you doubt she would be insensitive " and "you believe she would stop [calling him seaweed brain]" and that's wonderful and present in fanfiction and your beliefs but it's not canon? Like it hasn't happened and we haven't even seen anything alluding to something similar to it.

Communication is not just beneficial - it's necessary to healthy relationships especially when you partner may be doing something that hurts/triggers you. And since they don't get this stuff out in the air, it makes the relationship unhealthy.

Yes. Percy enjoys being around Rachel, and the issue is that he directly contrasts that to Annabeth and his experiences with her come up lacking! Which is something that falls on both of them btw.

"They aren't trauma bonded... they spend time with each other outside of life threatening situations." / "They go on dates."

Yeah, Percy and Rachel did. Nice dates, that didn't involve killing or missions or quests.

Has Percy ever gone on a quest with Annabeth that didn't devolve to a mission or quest? Not that we've seen. There's nothing straight up mentioned in the text. They've been on outings together - ie. the failed movie hangout, the date in central part, etc. that start out fun but it always goes back to a quest or mission.

That's not Annabeth or Percy's fault to be clear (yes I'm repeating this twice) - but it does indicate that they cannot get away from that aspect of their lives and relax together. It's always war-fighting-gods with them, tarnishing the domestic moments. It's always hanging over their heads.

When you consider Percy's character (ie. his first words; "I never wanted to be a demigod," and his desire to have a normal life and be done with the quests, prophecies and missions it's not good. This is not Annabeth being abusive to re-iterate. Not her fault. It's more of a "we're not good together" because of external factors - Percy's not getting what he wants. On some level, he's not happy with the relationship.

Also, since we brought up that experience/convo with Rachel, there's something else I want to talk about. It's a lot less 'subjective.'

Percy's POV from TLO: "She [Rachel] was so much easier to be around than some other girls I knew. I didn't have to work hard, or watch what I said, or rack my brain trying to figure out what she was thinking."

I don't think we talk about this enough?? Like it's so telling about the nature of Percy/Annabeth's relationship. When they got together, Annabeth said, "I will never ever make things easy for you." And it's probably some of the truest things she's ever said.

In TTC instead of communicating with Percy and asking him to dance with her, she punches him. And a lot of people call Percy obvious in that situation, but they had just agreed to split up from Thalia and Grover. It's reasonable for him to be thinking that he would further split up from Annabeth to cover more ground and get closer to the demigods they were watching, instead of dancing together.

In HoH while they were in Tartarus, Annabeth intentionally brings up Rachel, and (from her POV) says that she likes to keep Percy, "on his toes." - House of Hades.

Meaning she likes to keep him on edge, guessing at what she's thinking and wondering if he's doing wrong etc. They're in the middle of Tartarus - you'd think that she'd give him a break there context considering but no. She adds to the mental toll he's going through after being kidnapped by Hera, brainwashed and being separated from his friends/family in close to a year on top of being in Tartarus and fighting a war where the existence of everything he loves hangs in the balance.

Idk if I'd classify this as abusive, but its definitely a massive red flag. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who takes pleasure in giving you anxiety and 'on your toes.' That's definitely unhealthy.

This isn't the case. There are multiple instances of Percy fearing Annabeth outside of active battle from his narrative.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Annabeth interrupted, shoving aside the other campers. I thought she was going to punch me." - Battle of the Labyrinth. Context: Annabeth was very upset/worried about Percy, and he assumed abuse from Annabeth.

“Shut up, Silena. Hand me your dagger.” / I was afraid Annabeth was going to stab me with it. - Bronze Dragon. Context: Percy complimented another girl in front of Annabeth, and then assumed abuse from Annabeth.

He repeatedly expects to be hurt by her - in absurd situations! Like its not reasonable to hurt a friend/significant other in these contexts!! That's a strong red flag, and an indication of an abusive relationship. You have to ask yourself why does he think this way? Why does he think Annabeth's going to hurt him? Has she done that before?

Yes, she has. She has stuck him many times in situations where she has no right to do so:

"Um, who should I ask?" / She punched me in the gut. "Me, Seaweed Brain." - Titan's Curse. Context: Percy doesn't read her mind and doesn't know what she wants, so she hits him before telling him to dance with her.

"Annabeth alternately shouted, gagged, hit me, called me names like “Idiot! Stupid—dirty—moron—” and topped it all off with “Kill you!" - Staff of Hermes. Context: Percy saved himself and Annabeth from being killed, by travelling up sewer water. Annabeth gets livid and hits him multiple times.

"Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement [...] Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat." - Mark of Athena. Context: similar to botl case above, Annabeth was extremely worried about Percy and takes her emotions, her bitterness out on him physically.

"'You did an awesome job.' [Jason, to Percy]. / 'Back at you,' Percy said. / Annabeth kicked his shin." - Mark of Athena. Context: Annabeth kicks Percy while he's bonding with Jason to tell Percy to shut up so they can talk about the great prophecy.

None of those situations warrant striking Percy, but it does prove why Percy fears Annabeth. His fears aren't unfounded - they're built upon actual things Annabeth has done to him.

And if that's still not enough evidence for you, Annabeth has a tendency to place Percy in danger by using him as bait without letting him know the plan, literally shoving him head first into danger, etc.

The lightning thief, Annabeth uses Percy as bait to distract Clarisse + Ares warriors so Luke can get the flag. She doesn't tell Percy that he's being set up, nor does she give him any back up - which you'd think would be important considering that Percy had no experience holding a sword and shield. Reminder: Percy got electrocuted. He thought he would die.

Chalice of the gods, Annabeth shoves Percy off a cliff without warning. Percy gets his ass kicked by the river god, getting a bleeding head wound. (Do I need to remind you how bad head wounds are?) Meanwhile Annabeth sits on the side in safety tapping her wrist impatiently.

I elaborate about it more here. Yeah, I can see why he's scared of her. She puts him in danger with her plans without communicating anything to him. And he gets hurt.

And if that's still not enough, Annabeth has literally said, "I only attack my boyfriend like that." (Edit: - Mark of Athena). Can't remember where its from because it's from a short story someone quoted on tumblr to make an argument. You only attack your boyfriend? Domestic violence right there. Or a really shitty joke that's not really a joke because its a habit that she follows through with repeatedly.

So yeah. Even if you ignore the last point because I don't have the source, there is overwhelming evidence that Annabeth is abusive and Percy canonically fears her. This is not healthy relationship, and the flaws are not acceptable minor grievances you can dismiss by saying that they're just teens learning to be people.

The things Annabeth do are intentional. It starts in tlt, and she doesn't learn or grow out of it by cotg and beyond when she's an adult/ She doesn't have the reason/excuse of being a child anymore. The relationship is toxic and they shouldn't be together.

[borderlinereminders]

This is a reminder that you aren't a bad person if you feel jealous. You aren't failing if you're jealous.

A lot of people paint jealousy as this terrible thing, but the emotion itself is not inherently bad. It's actually a really normal emotion, and being able to talk about it without being shamed for it can be really important to coping with the feelings.

If you're struggling with feelings of jealousy, that's really valid. Some things you can try and do are:

Find the source of the jealousy. If you're feeling jealous that your friend has a new partner, perhaps the jealousy comes from you feeling you won't ever be able to be in a happy relationship. Or perhaps you remember in the past when another friend started dating, that they stopped focusing on your friendship. Knowing where it comes from can help you figure out how to cope with it. For example, if you're worried you're losing your friend, maybe you focus on seeking reassurance in a healthy way.

Talk about it. For example, if your partner is unintentionally doing things that lead to you feeling jealous, or perhaps someone else is interacting with them in a way where you feel jealous, you can talk to your partner about this. This is a conversation you should have when you have the time for a productive conversation, and when you're feeling calm. It's possible your partner didn't notice the behaviour, or didn't realize that it bothered you so much. This can be a time to re-visit boundaries. Remember that even if your feelings are coming from a place of past hurt that has nothing to do with your partner, it's still okay to talk to them about it. Perhaps you can come up with a solution together, or a way to work on your insecurities. You don't need to just suffer in silence because it's "not their fault."

Talk to another trusted individual. Sometimes talking to someone outside the situation can help. There are times I struggle with jealousy when it comes to my partner. Things like that he gets to spend so much time with his one co-worker, and I feel like she sees him more than I do. Stuff that he can't control. I have talked to him about it, but sometimes, talking to my trusted friend helps. She can validate my feelings but also help talk through them. Her outside perspective can sometimes help me see things differently.

Consider you don't have the full picture. This is relevant in situations like seeing your co-worker on social media posting happy photos of herself and her partner. Maybe you feel jealous that they're always so happy and carefree. But the reminder that you don't actually know that can be important for perspective sometimes. These pictures are just a glimpse into the person's life and it doesn't show the times they may have argued, or are otherwise struggling with issues whether there are issues with each other, or issues like financial stress they need to deal with together.

Practice techniques to get through the moment. When you’re struggling in the moment, sometimes a distraction is what we need to focus. There are a number of different coping skills that can be used like grounding exercises, DBT skills (I recommend looking at tolerance skills specifically) and other things that can help us get through the moment. Sometimes we need to get our attention away from our feelings of jealousy to resist urges we may have that could damage our relationships.

Don’t judge yourself for feeling jealous. This is a normal emotion. It’s not “bad” or “wrong”. It’s a feeling. It’s okay to be human. Learning to accept our feelings can be important to moving on from them.

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for Autistic Students

I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.

If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!

Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.

Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.

Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.

Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.

Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.

Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey I dunno if you’ve gotten this before but. Do you have anything on autism and DID/OSDD? Specifically resources or accounts and such (since I’ve seen the positivity post)

I struggle with emotional dysregulation, big memory issues (huge chunks of childhood and adolescence missing, forgetting things constantly, dissociating emotions from memories, etc,) frequent daydreaming/spacing out/dissociation, that type of thing (and a bit more that’s a little too complicated to explain in an ask lol)

I’ve always kind of figured it was just part of me being autistic (I’m professionally diagnosed and definitely very autistic regardless lol), but I’ve recently gone down a bit of a rabbit hole relating to plurality and now I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of DID/OSDD instead/as well (I was originally looking at something else and stumbled into the tags somehow. The original thing that led me here was foxes. I think. And then I had a bit of a panic as I realized how some of the symptoms were VERY close to some of my experiences. Especially the memories.) but i also can’t tell if it’s just some sort of brain fog(???? Is that the correct term?) / alexithymia / Unknown Autism Trait 3 that nobody ever talks about and is difficult to find any sort of explanation or resources for. And my brain protested and had the equivalent of being on the verge of a sobbing meltdown or mental overload of some sort when I tried to think about stuff relevant to the topic so I don’t think it’s going to be of much help to me right now.

obviously not asking for diagnosis or to self diagnose at all (since. I understand you cant really do either of those /lh /nm) but I’m curious if any of you know of any resources relating to this specific type of stuff? I feel like I’d go insane trying to find any info on it. (And also I don’t think my brain would want to cooperate if I asked it to because it basically shuts down, gives me a headache, and turns to a pathetic wet sobbing cat whenever I try to think about the possibility so I doubt I’ll be identifying as anything anytime soon but. I want some stuff to think over at least.)

hey, we also are autistic and have dissociative identity disorder. unfortunately, there isn’t really too much research on the overlap between autism and complex dissociative disorder diagnoses at this time, that we know of, but we do think that autistic people may have a higher likelihood of dissociating and developing a cdd than neurotypical people.

we really love mike lloyd’s work at the ctad clinic, and he has an insightful video on the intersection of autism and dissociation here:

here is an open access paper by katherine e. reuben and ayden parish on dissociation as a symptom in autism - it’s an interesting read and wasn’t too difficult for us to parse:

also, here are a couple life experience pieces by folks with both did and autism:

our own autism has contributed to our trauma history in how we were treated, formed attachment, and understood the world as a child. for our own system, our autism and our did are inextricably linked. we are certain that many other autistic systems feel the same.

if exploring this possibility for yourself is causing you great distress, it may be for the best to put this off to the side for now until you have reached a point with more stability or a greater support system in your life. please don’t overwhelm or cause yourself harm by looking into this possibility on your own, if it is unhealthy for you.

if you are in therapy or have a mental health professional in your life who you trust, this would be an excellent thing to bring up to them. though hopefully these resources can help you get started learning about this topic if you have the spoons/ability to do so.

we are no medical expert or research professional, but we are happy to talk more about our personal experience of being both autistic and a did system if anyone would be interested. best of luck to you, anon, with figuring this out. we know how confusing and challenging it can be!

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

one issue have with most therapists except very very ultra rare multiple- & severe(!!!)-disability aware & affirming therapists. is. only able understand things through mental health (specifically mood disorders) perspective. oh cannot do this because too anxious, this thing hard because it feel heavy & overwhelm, struggle this because not enough energy from depressed. and need keep correct, no, literal inability do this because higher support needs autism, this not possible because physical disabilities, no what you suggest may sound possible on paper for one my disability but actually very inaccessible for other disabilities have, no when talk about need support person not mean friend sit with to check in & make sure work get done but mean hired support worker for bADLs iADLS basic behavioral support basic communication support.

like yes mental health things can be really hard and can get very severe limit quality of life, trust me i would know because have them almost entire life get very severe, but god would do anything if all have deal with are my mental health issues and not same time with all other stuff.

[feralcorpses]

Féachann Siad AU - Designs: Grian and Scar.

(Master-post) - Explains the au.

I was gonna post three designs for my au together but was struggling with Mumbos and decided to do his later. (I also just love how Scar and Grians designs came out.)

(Click for better quality!)

More info on these guys under the cut.

|

V

Their Dynamic!

Scar and Grian have a similar relationship to 3rd life just more distant due to their group getting spilt up.

They actually managed to find each other by accident while raiding an older medical tower for obviously medical supplies.

Both of them have trust issues so it’s definitely a situation of I’m cuddling this person so they don’t get a chance to stab me yet.

Grians feathers and wings are quite damaged making them overly sensitive and sore to the touch, but magic magic Scar worked his way around it he’s gradually been gaslighting Grian so he gets to touch his feathers so it gets to a point where Grian will let him preen them.

Individual Dynamics:

(just random stuff ig idk man)

Scar:

Vex (he’s a fancy variant of one but I don’t wanna spoil it cause ✨angst✨)

Hides Vexian features due to stigma around anything to do with their species.

You may be thinking but his tail was visible?? Well that’s a lot easier to lie about since there’s a lot of "safer" mutants with tails.

Under strong emotions he can’t exactly hold back his Vexian features so they just pop out, sometimes if the emotion is less but still strong his scars will change colour.

All his scars are from different incidents. (Good old Scar luck, gotta love it.)

His eye appears to be fully black but in reality he’s missing an eye there and chooses to put a black eye prosthetic sort of thing on, to protect it from dust, dirt, water and just really whatever.

Around 34, he always avoids the question how old are you for no real reason so they all guessed he was around 34.

Grian:

Inspired by a Great Horned Owl.

He also hides his actual wings because of the damage but still uses them when needed it’s just not the best for his health even if he’s tucking them into his back (avians wings shrink down and pierce back into the skin in which they protrude from when tucking them away.) or not.

He has three eyes so two on his right and one on his left.

He has a dagger he’s always carrying with him no matter what really.

Scar gave him the poppy and lilac necklace around whenever they started becoming great friends in return Grian gave Scar two of his smaller flight feathers to use to wear, write with, really anything Scar decided on.

He secretly does know Scar is gaslighting him about the whole feathers thing but he doesn’t mind it’s pretty funny to him and in general he does love it when people pet his feathers.

Again no one’s really asked about his age but he’s around 32-33.

W@T(h6^

1st image is Scar trying to get Grian to trust him with touching his wing feathers.

2nd image is Scars scars changing colour.

(Click for better quality!!)

(We’re not gonna talk abt the first images portions, OK!?)

[orbmanson7]

@intrulogical sent me a Logan Angst prompt!

logan crying in a video whilst offering a solution to something and thomas going "stop crying"

I'm still taking Logan Angst prompts from any word or phrase sent to my ask box!

--

Asking for clarification had become almost habit for him by now.

"Ah, so you didn't mean that literally then?" Logan steadied his expression after the realization struck him. "I suppose this is why clarification is so useful in these discussions."

"There's nothing to clarify, Specs!" Roman threw his hands up dramatically. "It's not like we were trying to trick you!"

Logan blinked at that response. He hadn't thought they were trying to deceive him with their words, no, but it's not as though they had meant what they said, either. Hence the need for clarification.

He nodded towards Roman, replying,

"I understand that, but--"

"Do you?" Roman instantly cut him off. "Because it seems like it takes a million times for us to explain something to you before you actually get it!"

Oh. So he was bothered by Logan's repeated desire for clarification. The quantity was the issue.

"I believe I understand your concern. While some subjects may take extra consideration, I can assure you, I am trying my best."

"Are you?"

Thomas stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Was it unreadable to everyone else, too, or just him?

"Wh..." He was so shocked to hear Thomas outright doubt him like that, he couldn't even formulate the question he wanted to ask. He tried not to let it show, straightening his stance.

Thomas needed his trust, his confidence.

"Of course I am," he told him.

He just needed to be confident. He didn't need to bring more doubt to the topic at hand, after all.

"Princey kind of has a point, though," Thomas only frowned at him. "We've talked about this before, but you never seem to get it. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

"Well, yes, of course," Logan replied as quickly as possible, trying not to sputter over how badly his attempt had just failed. "But it's not as though I have limitless knowledge--"

"Aren't you his language center or whatever it's called?" Virgil piped up. "Isn't this supposed to be your thing?"

"I operate his recognition and use of language, yes," he answered truthfully, "but understanding more than the contextual meaning behind a phrase via facial expression or body language or tone of voice doesn't typically fall to my expertise--"

"Then why are you even doing it?"

"Wh... It... Because it's my job."

He'd never had anyone ask him such a question before, and he wasn't sure there was a better way to answer it.

"And yet," Roman butted in, "you need us to explain what we mean forty times every episode for you to understand? If it's your job, shouldn't you already know how to do that?" He grumbled, crossing his arms. "It's not like I have to relearn how to write every time I have an idea, you know. I already know how to do it. So what's your problem?"

Logan stared. He...wasn't sure there was an adequate answer to that, either. Surely, there was a legitimate reason why pragmatic errors frequented his discussions with others, but if it really was his role to handle that on Thomas' behalf, why was he continuously struggling with it? Why had he not learned about it, held onto that knowledge, and then applied it when the situation arose, just as he had with near everything else?

Why was this different, especially when it so heavily affected his purpose to Thomas?

What was his problem?

Roman laughed.

"What? Cat got your tongue now?"

"...no?" Logan raised an eyebrow, confused. "I still have my tongue and there is no cat to--"

"Logan, seriously, just stop." Thomas held up a hand to stop him. He wasn't even looking at Logan as he spoke. "You're the one always lecturing us about learning stuff but then you don't even understand half of what we're saying unless we spell it out for you!"

Logan bit his lip, willing himself to understand.

"I don't think you'd need to spell anything out, Thomas. I simply ask that you clarify the meaning of--"

"For the love of God, Logan, this is exactly what we're talking about!" Thomas shouted, finally turning to look directly at him.

Logan paused. So this was more of the same, then.

"Ah."

It wasn't just that he was asking too often, it was the matter of his asking at all.

Roman rolled his eyes.

"Boy, and you call me stupid."

"I don't believe I've called you that," Logan responded calmly, then adding, "Today."

Even if it was harsh, at least when he had said that, he meant what he said.

After all, why would someone say something they didn't mean? Wouldn't they want to be understood? To be able to communicate effectively?

When he spoke, he wanted to not only be heard but for others to know what he was trying to convey. Using hidden context served little purpose, and only proved to create massive communication issues like this one.

Logan absently fiddled with the end of his tie.

The others were all looking at him disapprovingly.

He swallowed, but something in his throat felt tight, obstructed. His eyes seemed less focused, slightly blurring around the edges.

He tried to take a proper breath, but it came in shuddering and came back out shaky.

None of these were good signs, at least as far as seeming professional goes.

"Perhaps I have asked for clarification far too often for your liking." Logan paused, expecting to be cut off yet again. When the others didn't respond, he continued, "I merely wish to make sure we're communicating properly, that I'm not misunderstanding your--"

"We shouldn't have to explain it every time!"

And there it was.

Roman and Thomas both began yelling a number of things, but Logan just waited.

Everything they were saying... They were right. Something was definitely wrong here. Logan shouldn't be continuing to struggle if they've all done their part to explain their intention so many times. Why was he still in need of clarification, of assistance? Why hadn't he resolved this on his own already?

He would have to keep trying.

As it quieted down, he turned to Thomas, attempting to hold his gaze without trepidation.

"I... I'll keep trying, then."

"What, so you weren't trying before?" Thomas was so immediately outraged. "How long are we going to have to put up with this?"

"Logan, maybe you just need to try a different way of figuring it out." Patton offered, hands up, placating. "We all know you get stuck in your ways, so maybe just try it our way this time, yeah?"

But doing just that hadn't ended well at all last time. He couldn't have been the only one who remembered that, right? Last time, he was only left confused and ultimately misunderstood by the others when he tried it 'their way'. That couldn't possibly be the solution. No, there had to be something else.

"Well," Logan tried, "I don't know if that would--"

"He's right!" Roman cut in, sounding angry. "You don't even want to get it, do you? Is this an attention thing again??"

Roman moved his arms around in ways that failed to make sense to Logan at all.

"Oh no, Logan needs even more attention now so he has to pretend to be stupid to get even more camera time!"

Logan was completely confused at such a comment. That didn't seem like a fair judge of his conduct at all.

He grimaced,

"I... I would never pretend to--"

"L, it's fine if you're just doing it so you get to talk more," Virgil told him, leaning back casually on the staircase. "I get it, man, but this isn't the way, you know?"

Logan did not 'get it' like Virgil apparently did. Why would someone pretend to not understand something? Why not just be sincere, clarify their confusion so they can get the help they need? What purpose would it serve to lie about it?

"I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain to them that he wasn't pretending without knowing why they thought he was. "That's not... I wouldn't do that--"

"Oh, please." Roman scoffed.

Thomas sighed, putting his face in his hands.

"Logan, the excuses aren't helping, either."

He hadn't meant to bother Thomas with all of this. He was at a loss on what he could do to fix this mess, one he had apparently started all on his own.

He swallowed again, feeling heat begin to rise behind his eyes.

"A-apologies."

Thomas shoved his hands down at his sides. Logan may not have been the best with body language but he could certainly tell his choice to apologize had been the wrong one to make.

Thomas glared at him, something Logan realized he had started to see more often lately. Logan flinched without meaning to, and he couldn't even begin to understand the shiver that had gone through him or what it could possibly mean. His vision blurred.

He could just make out Thomas' expression as it twisted at Logan's knee-jerk reaction, and he suddenly shouted at Logan,

"Ugh, stop crying! Just do better!"

He really hadn't meant to have any overt reaction, but he'd been quite unprepared for this turn of events.

Where had they come up with the idea that he would lie about this? Was this his fault to begin with, for not putting in enough effort to understand, to learn, to improve?

Clearly they had a better understanding than he did, so perhaps they were right. Maybe he was capable of understanding and was simply choosing not to properly learn how to discern the difference in someone's words with how they speak them.

He reached up, removed his glasses, and wiped a palm across his eye, trying to stop the tears that kept flowing. He wasn't entirely sure when he had started crying, either, but now it didn't seem to want to stop.

Thomas was right. Logan had to do better. It was past time he did his job the right way by now, and in the way Thomas wanted above all else.

He put his glasses back on and turned to Thomas, ignoring the last tear escaping down his cheek as he spoke.

"I'll try."

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT/VENT:

Umm so I haven’t been too active, life’s been manageable and my grades are actually doing amazing so I now will give myself a small break. But with the fastpass and yes I will vaguely talk about it because this has to hurt more than ever for me.

I am going to let it out and just say that I absolutely hate Lore Olympus. I have no tolerance for it anymore and I deeply despise it, and before anyone tries to come at me I have every fucking right to especially after this stupid ass fast pass with Demeter. This entire comic has been the most invalidating experience I’ve ever had to witness in my life, it is an insult to my youth, an insult to my feminism, an insult to my community, an insult to my culture, my trauma, and even my identity as a whole. I’ve been really quiet about it because I’m used to people stepping all over me and completely disrespecting me but I can’t do this anymore. Nothing has made me more sick than reading all of this.

Now you may be wondering why I say all of this in the first place and I’ll tell you. I’ve been informed (MAJOR SPOILER SO PLEASE JUST SKIP THIS) that Demeter gets manipulated into having sex with Zeus and shes obviously heartbroken and feels taken advantaged of yet the whole narrative of the situation still paints her as a fucking villain. I’m going to be a little personal with this but the reason why I have such a huge issue with this is because this is the exact same thing that happened with my mother, unfortunately she was coerced and manipulated into having sex with her then boyfriend which in turn got her pregnant (with me) and made him furious, he wanted to abort me while my mother refused to do so so he started harassing my family until he finally got arrested. To see this exact same situation be played in a way that Demeter isn’t the victim and she’s just bitter and jealous when this obvious traumatic thing happened to her makes me sick to my damn stomach. This stuff happens to real people all the time Rachel you cannot just handle these things with such ignorance all the fucking time, you can’t just say your comic validates trauma when you’ve belittled one of the most fucked up shit you can do to a person.

Then to top it off the comments are no better, they’re all victim blaming and incredibly insensitive. I’ve seen people literally call Demeter a bitch in her own story about her own fucking trauma, they’ve said that it was her fault, that she should’ve known better, that she shouldn’t have trusted Zeus. All of these things have been said to my mother as well, every last phrase has been said to my mother and it’s gotten to a point where she blames herself for the situation. There’s genuinely no words to describe how incredibly angry I am, I’m so just over everything with this comic and I want people to understand how harmful things like this are. I don’t have any real words except that I’m sorry to everyone who’ve ever been through something similar, if you had to read any of those comments I’m so incredibly sorry. I’m sorry to my mother as well because the same people who have been invalidating her and blaming her for her own trauma are continuing their fucking rounds with stuff like this.

People like that genuinely make me sick. How are you going to blame anyone for trauma or traumatic situations that happened to THEM, what the hell did you not fucking learn about this??? You’ve watched Persephone going through all of this stuff and literally suffering and you’ve seen how much of an emotional toll it’s had on her yet after seeing all the struggle that it puts people through you still decide to say stupid shit like that. What makes all of this even worse is if this was Persephone or Hades no one would’ve said a thing, everyone would’ve been supported and validated her whole experience yet if it’s any other form of trauma that they don’t count as important or even relevant they’ll dismiss it and belittle it. I’m so sick of this shit, at some point Rachel is going to have to get involved she’s always proclaiming how mentally aware Lore Olympus is and she has nothing to show for it you can do something now by actually calling out your horrendous fans (obviously the ones I brought up) for their disgusting actions.

[asknarashikari]

Kari, do you see the latest development between Rinne and Houtaro as romantic or platonic?

Like, this might be me not shipping anyone in Gotchard, but am I alone in feeling that Rinne's jealousy, if it can even be called that, wait no, Rinne IS jealous, but her jealousy doesn't strike me as romantic.

I feel like Rinne's is jealous that Houtaro has a childhood friend outside of Kajiki, someone she doesn't know.

She's jealous of Houtaro's connection when she didn't have a lot of them previously, you get me?

Long post ahead

I don't really see Rinne's beef with Seina as being solely about jealousy over Houtaro and their relationship (however one sees it).

If she were jealous merely because Houtaro was friends with someone she didn't know, she'd also be jealous of their other friends like Sabimaru and Renge- like, she knew them before Houtaro did, but it wasn't like they were close then. They were basically schoolmates who got stuck together hunting the Chemmies under Minato. But Houtaro got along with them (especially Sabi) right from the get-go.

Part of it is also Rinne being jealous over how effortlessly Seina seems to form bonds (or reforge them in the case of Houtaro and his mom). Rinne is an introvert, and her singleminded focus on her alchemy studies and the whole thing with her dad left her isolated from her peers for a long time, so she struggled to make those kinds of bonds herself. It took a long time for her to loosen up, even around the ones she wholeheartedly trusted.

Seina, on the other hand, seems to fit in perfectly without even trying all too hard.

Moreover, even though she now has those bonds, she still lacks the security to be assured that they won't abandon her or leave her alone for one reason or the other. She's still anxious of place with her friends and fears that she's not good enough for her friends- that once someone "better" comes along, they'll just "replace" her with them and she'll be all alone again.

Rinne not being cast in the play in favor of Seina is sort of a hint toward that. Even that whole bit about how Seina and Houtaro's last names add to 100, where her and Houtaro's just add up to 10.

With her tendency to overthink things, she may have begun thinking about herself not being good enough for her friends in other things- including her being Houtaro's partner Rider, due to her power incontinence issues. (Atropos' taunting does not help matters, though Rinne already had these feelings before Atropos came along to pour salt into her wounds.)

However... I do think there certainly are romantic insinuations being made. I mean, the Romeo and Juliet thing is pretty on the nose, tbh.

That said, Rinne may not recognize the romantic aspect of it where Houtaro is concerned. As mentioned, Rinne had been preoccupied with more important things for so long that she may not have really entertained stuff like having crushes. I don't think she even realized that the way she felt could be construed as having a crush on Houtaro until Seina brought the possibility up.

(And if so... whoops, Seina may have just hoisted herself on her own petard there...)

[natsmagi]

tbh maybe this is a hot take but i really dont get why people insist on having one person in natsumugi be this Super Toxic one and the other a victim. the easiest conclusion to draw is natsume being the bad guy and tsumugi the victim due to natsume getting physical and berating him at times but far too commonly do i see people insist that its the other way around and that tsumugi is actually the super toxic one and natsume just lets tsumugi emotionally manipulate him and thats ?? so weird to me ??? both of these are so weird to me ???

i can ofc see where theyre coming from. both natsume and tsumugi have plenty of issues going on in their heads. i feel like natsumes situation is more commonly understood as him simply just being difficult though and not being the best at managing his emotions, and with tsumugi i get it because he doesnt really have much of a moral compass. he doesnt quite understand peoples feelings and it results in him doing pretty fucked up things at times, but to then frame him as someone who would be abusive?? that doesnt sit right with me

tsumugi may not understand peoples emotions and be apathetic to the struggles people are going through, but its clear to anyone that that man has good intentions at the end of the day. at WORST he may get overbearingly controlling, but its never in a "you cant do x y z" way, its in a "i signed us up for this job opportunity because i thought it sounded nice and didnt speak it through with you beforehand and now we have to do it" way. had this been 2nd year tsumugi maybe he wouldve been far more desperate and even manipulative to an extent because he was in such a dark place, but current day tsumugi is actively trying to understand people better. hes trying to learn how to feel. in wonder game he even outright said that natsume taught him pain and everything else. his growth is clear

i cannot see tsumugi taking advantage of natsume in a genuinely destructive way with modern day ntmg. again, maybe during the earlier !-era stuff he could be more destructive, but natsume also does a relatively good job keeping tsumugi in his place during that time too, with him getting physical and all. its only in !!-era where tsumugi doesnt really mind it and can even make playful jokes about it because theyve Had this development in their relationship. theyve moved Past many of their toxic attributes, and theyve finally grown to understand one another. this is also when tsumugi can have a more "dominating" role in their relationship, since natsume has come to trust him to this extent, but tsumugi wouldnt take advantage of that. again; theyve now grown very close and understanding of one another. theyll have banters such as tsumugi wanting natsume to do something like idk. wear a dress. to which natsume will reply with kys but again. in !!-era this is banter and tsumugi wouldnt actually force natsume to do something he doesnt want to. theyre just very comfortable with each other now

i also really hate the position natsume gets put in with all of this. so often he is already hyperfeminized by the fandom for no reason whatsoever (which is especially fucked up considering how much he canonically hates being seen as a girl), and by making tsumugi this manipulative and abusive partner youre stripping natsume of even more autonomy and framing him as powerless. naively in love with a man thats hurting him. and that doesnt sit right with me either!! natsume does have a big heart and he has endured more than he probably should, but to think natsume would just take it ??? natsume has BACKBONE. if tsumugi upsets him he will either 1. get really mad at him or 2. start ignoring tsumugi alltogether. hes not just gonna put up with it. and tsumugi will notice this change in demeanor. ask if hes done something wrong. he may not understand what it was he did but he never intends on hurting natsume and would genuinely want to resolve it. tsumugi isnt stubborn in this regard, if he fucks up he wants to fix it. and natsume isnt a damsel in distress, why do you want him to be a helpless maiden so bad ??

theres alot of nuance to all of this and im obviously not gonna tackle every single element of their relationship and this is just an overview but TL;DR ntmg are both awful and have many faults and their relationship has gotten incredibly unhealthy at times but the point is theyre growing PAST that. maybe sometimes these toxic traits of theirs will resurface, but that does not make one the abuser and the other the victim. theyre just two fucked up people in love, standing as equals and learning to understand one another. stop framing one as evil

[amysubmits]

Okay, so I don’t really know how to word this. My Dom (together 5+years) is very open to trying new things. And I want to do these things. But I am so shy. Like deathly shy. He has made it clear that he likes the things he wants me to do, but I can’t do it because of the shyness. I want to so bad. But I can’t bring myself to do it. And he’s been so patient. But I can tell it’s starting to frustrate him. He hasn’t done anything that constitutes red flag. He’s actually been very understanding. How do I get rid of this shyness? I want it gone. I want to be able to do things with him that we both like. And I don’t understand why I am having these shyness issues after all these years together… any advice or help is appreciated please.

Hey Anon,

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get to this, my week kinda got away from me.

I totally get where you're coming from, as I've had similar struggles myself in different ways.

I see two primary possibilities.

One is that you may need to work to grow trust still. If he's made you feel judged, criticized, or just not accepted, then he'll have to work to rebuild that trust.

The other is that he hasn't specifically made you feel uncomfortable at all, maybe you're even more comfortable being fully yourself with him than you are with anyone else in the world...but you still have personal insecurities that get in the way. I know in my own journey with kink there have been times where I was initially seeing myself as 'too shy' for something but in reality it was deeper. I thought I was just too shy, but I was actually really scared of exploring something that might bring me pleasure because part of me didn't feel I deserved pleasure. Or I thought I was just being shy, but on deeper introspection, I was worried that exploring some of my kinky interests would make me be or feel dirty, impure, bad. That I wasn't supposed to like the stuff I liked. I've also felt 'shy' to do things because I was afraid of 'failure'. We've talked about how we both like X, but what if I try to do X and I don't actually enjoy it? Won't I have let him down? Or what if we try X but we don't get very far with it the first time and it's a slow process to get to the end goal? Those are some internalized fears that I had, that I had to really dig deep to even realize were hiding under this 'shyness' feeling. In other words, shyness can have fear, shame, guilt, insecurity, etc hiding under it sometimes.

And if that's the case for you, if you can try to pinpoint what the deeper feeling is, then maybe it'll help you learn how to work with or around that feeling. For example, if you can figure out that you're worried about feeling dirty, then you can share that with your partner and do lots of verbal reassurance about how you aren't dirty. Or if you're afraid of 'failing' you can get reassurance by talking through how the goal isn't perfection, and how it's okay if you need to stop, or don't get very far on your first try, or if you don't end up even enjoying it IRL. That exploration is the goal.

I'm sure there are endless other possibilities. But in general, I'd just wonder if there's more than 'shyness' going on and if you can dig a little deeper and figure out how to move forward from there.

Best of luck to you!

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I really struggle right now. I have been in semi recovery for some times, so I'm not better, but like my father says, I am surviving. I do want to recover completly, but at the same time, I have this urge to relapse. Some difficult things are happening in my life right now (like my father's depression and my brother violent mood swings, my sister's school problems...) and as a whole, my family is already very busy with their own problems. When I talk about my issues which are often the same, they are quite dismissed or just put away with some banalities.

I know I have to recover, and I'm the only one that's in charge of doing it. But I'm worried that if I eat the same meals I won't be able to eat enough protein, or veggies, now that I know what macros are and I exercice... Seems like a problem never comes alone. I'm sorry, this is very messy.

How do I step away from self destructives urges whenever I feel down and alone ? How do I get better alone ? (I have a psy but to be honest it doesn't help a lot...). Do I just let go of counting macros like proteins, and if so, how will I be sure I get enough to build a bit of muscles ?

Well, thank you if you took the time to read all this, and take care !

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling, and that you're getting put on the back burner because of your other family members' problems. You deserve the attention and support that you need. You may not get these things, and it's difficult not to internalize that and to believe that it's because the loudest people in the room have the most important needs. Their needs do matter, but yours do just as much. I want you to know that, even if your family is unfortunately not able to meet your needs right now.

It sounds like your family is maybe dealing with some bigger overarching issues that are causing some instability for everyone. It sounds like your brother and sisters' issues, like yours, are also caused by these issues, so they're not likely to get fixed in this environment. I don't know if that's necessarily the truth, it's just a guess. But it does make me wonder if there's anybody you could look to for support outside of your immediate family.

Have you ever heard the phrase "going to the hardware store for oranges?" I've recently heard it in a therapeutic context. This metaphor refers to the practice of going to somebody for emotional support that they're just not able to give. It's as useless an endeavor as trying to buy oranges from the hardware store. No matter how desperately you ask them to sell you oranges, they won't. They can't. They don't have the oranges. This might be your family. It's unfair, but some of us just do get families we can't go to with this stuff. When you are an adult, you will be free to process that as needed and let that set the tone of the relationship, but for now, your job is to survive in this environment.

Do you have any other trusted people in your life? Could be extended family (ones you trust not to repeat your words back to your family), trusted friends, perhaps a teacher or a guidance counselor. Maybe make a list of what kind of supports you are looking for and ask what your support system can give. If your psychologist is an unhelpful one, you don't have to put all your hopes in them. If you can't switch now, you can when you're an adult.

You could also do something like start a journal and write down vents, impulses and urges and where you think they come from, and things you could try in order to help yourself better. If home is not a safe place to keep a journal where your vents might include stuff about your family members, perhaps keep it in a hiding place if you feel you need it at home, or in a school locker if home is simply not a safe space.

I think it might be a good idea to give up counting macros, yes. At least for the time being. When you can eat, eat meals with protein, you don't have to count it exactly. Don't worry too hard about being a bodybuilder right now, just focus on getting yourself enough.

Don't beat yourself up for having a hard day or struggling with negative self-urges like relapse. Be compassionate with yourself. It sounds like you're trying really hard under really stressful circumstances with limited supports available. You should be proud of yourself for trying, every day, even if everyday your best effort looks different.

[stitchthesewords]

Hey hi hey hey hi I am having an Emotional day so uh. Have an Apocalypse AU idea I had. Full disclosure - I uh. Actually hate stories set within and just beyond apocalypses, which is why my stuff is always set pretty far Past an apocalypse. But. I'm feeling things and I dislike apocalypse stories because of that whole Lone Wolf/Everyone Turns On Each Other mindset so many writers seem to have and this is Not That so - below the cut.

Okay so I'm less interested in how the apocalypse happens here but I'm picturing it being some kind of monster apocalypse. This is definitely gonna be a minecrafty like. low fantasy world like all my ideas so maybe the apocalypse is caused by mobs coming in the night for the first time. The struggle of stuff spawning when it gets dark - and maybe with the added difficulty of the sun not killing things. My own difficulty is figuring out like, doc and Cleo bc i still want them to be a creeper and zombie hybrid but I imagine everyone being human??????? maybe I change that. But I still don't know how to justify like doc existing like Cleo mightve gotten bitten but not become a full zombie for some reason but doc? IDK. then again im now thinking about like maybe mild hybridization okay. So maybe like. avians. Sheep hybrids. Simpler hybrids than what i usually do and everyone else [sans the hybrids] are just Dudes. Okay so

Monsters start appearing one day and it causes, understandably, mass panic in a world where monsters didn't exist beforehand. Before its all said and done, people are fleeing left right and center and no one is really keeping track of anything and a lot of things kind of fall apart. You know, standard monster apocalypse stuff. BUT. here's the thing. I don't think this is a 'government steps in a takes over' and I dont think this is a 'everyone turns on each other and refuses to share supplies' - just the opposite.

And the hermits end up being one such group of people who end up collecting together. They pool their resources and support each other and build a safe place to live - lit up, with walls to keep the new and dangerous mobs out, and houses to keep everyone safe and warm. Support. No man left behind. And it - admittedly - takes them a bit to really get their feet underneath them. Feeding a group their size is difficult and gardening and farming is a brand new idea to a lot of them who had other jobs before the apocalypse [Architects, tailors, scientists, engineers, etc etc]. And they're jobs are important and useful too, but they're got to learn to do stuff like Milk Cows, grow their own food, process that food, process animals - all of it.

And what I'm thinking is like this is both a soft and hard au. Soft in that there's a lot of focus on learning to trust their new family, learning these new skills they need, falling in love amongst themselves, and learning how to accomodate different issues everyone has. And its also a hard AU in that it's learning to fight to defend each other from the mobs and learning to explore safely and learning to protect each other and all that stuff.

But its also like - welcoming strangers who need help who may or may not stay with open arms because they're people and they need help. And yeah, sometimes people have bad intentions and it might bite them in the ass occasionally but this is a group of people who came together to protect each other they aren't just going to leave someone else out to starve or die.

Is this even coherent. Anyway just kind of a lot of thoughts about learning to care for other people and trust and build community both literally and figuratively. Learning to build houses with your hands and repair what you have and learning to farm and process and cook. Rebuilding from the ground up a community in your own image. lkhsfkdlk

@atherix @braxiatel @greatbridge @ellalily @lesbianwilby @em-mermaid @loombarrow @sparksnevadas @aceofthefandoms

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Hey hopefully this doesn’t come off as offensive I’m just curious, do you feel the same love for levi as you feel for your husband? BTW I’m not asking in a “you shouldn’t like others except your husband” way. This may seem odd, but a lot of the times I doubt love and it’s realness. I just wanted to get your perspective, if you don’t mind answering. If not you can ignore! I just wanted to know if the kind of love feelings that you describe in your fics are resonated in your real life with you.

Again I’m sorry if this is a bad question or stupid or offensive I love your work!

this doesn't come off as offensive at all! :) /gen

tldr; yes the love i write for levi is something i experience irl with my husband + love can seem superficial because we never talk about the harder aspects of relationships (but honestly that's okay. we're here to write fanfic and have a good time. if you wanna be sweet-talked by your f/o 24/7 THEN WRITE YOURSELF GETTING SWEET-TALKED BY YOUR F/O)

So my self-ship with Levi is definitely romanticized LMAO. I have particularly always struggled with relationships (both romantic and platonic) because of the 'tism and BPD, so a lot of the stuff that gives me grief irl I just kinda omit when I'm fantasizing about Levi.

This is a thing I've noticed a lot in fanfiction. Anything that's not like sugar-coated or really sweet isn't paid attention to or sometimes even ridiculed? Like Levi telling me the truth about something I did being shitty isn't him being toxic, it's legitimately something we gotta communicate about in a healthy relationship. Obviously some methods are more or less toxic than others, but not sugarcoating everything or being heart-eyes lovey dovey all the time is not inherently toxic.

And I think that's why sometimes the concept of love feels superficial. I have hella trust issues, so if someone is acting nice 100% of the time or sugar coating, it definitely seems fake to me.

But all-in-all, yes, I do feel the same type of love for my husband as I write about with Levi. Many of the feelings/interactions I describe are ones I have experienced irl to some extent, I just write about the negative and harder areas of navigating a healthy relationship less because sometimes those harder topics give me anxiety and I write fanfic to be horny and cuddly, not anxious—so I tend to avoid those topics unless I'm feeling a certain way.