#You can almost see Sephiroths realisation with Hope

[goddessofroyalty]

How are Sephiroth and Cloud when it comes to their kids getting into fights at school? This is admittedly a tad rhetorical but still wanted to hear your take since you always go into detail.

"Did you win?"

It's a tad more nuanced than that but honestly I do think both of them care a lot about whether their kid won the fight or now.

For Sephiroth that's all that kind of matters when it comes to the older ones. With some of the younger ones (Chadley and Mai especiallly but Hope a little as well) and after he's done the persoal grwoth of realising they are acamdemic not cambatants and that's probably actually a good thing than he's telling (well, basically ordering) the remnant triplets to go 'deal with it' because he can't have someone beat up his kid and get away with it even if this kid isn't that physically strong.

Cloud cares a lot more about the cotext of how the fight started. Like if it was them looking for a fight than he's not happy with them and they do probably get grounded (even if he still asks if they won and goes 'good' when they say they did). If it's a case of the other person started it and his kid finished it or the other person was bullying/beating up someone who couldn't fight back and his kid stepped in then his kid's probably getting icecream for it.

With both of them if their kid didn't win (Chadley and Mai and Hope excluded) than they're going to be spending more time training the kid to make sure they dont't lose next time.

[thorntopieces]

An addition to my post about Genesis from a few days ago, this time from Zack's perspective

Zack comes to Midgar having heard tales of the great hero Sephiroth and his many exploits. It's not the only thing that draws him to Midgar as opposed to the countryside town of Gongaga, but it's a factor all the same. He leaves his parents behind with nothing more than a note on his pillow explaining to them that he's going to Midgar to become a SOLDIER and that he hopes that they will support him through it. He's only thirteen but he's strong and the few times he stuck his hands in a pool of mako it only barely stung and he's talented enough with Materia that he should be accepted right away

Leaving his parents behind hurts and their potential condemnation of his choices make him too scared to reach out and to come home and visit even when he's granted leave. Any mission that goes even close to Gongaga he avoids

Sure enough he's accepted once away, without spending more than two weeks in the infantry barracks before he's accepted into SOLDIER. The mako shots hurt more than the pure mako ever did, but he supposes that has to do with it being injected straight into him, rearranging the cells in his body to enhance him similarly to the great First Class SOLDIERs he has heard so much about. During the injections he cries, fourteen years old and in pain, nauseous and afflicted with the worse headache he's ever had. A research assistant snaps at him to suck it up and it stings so bad he doesn't ever let himself cry in front of anyone else, not until Aerith

Angeal is the one that finds him outside R&D, staring at a wall, clutching his sluggishly bleeding arm (he never sees the research assistent again that snaps at him and refused to bandage his arm 'because the mako would clear it up'). Angeal takes him under his wing from that point onward, protecting him from the worst horrors of SOLDIER, all the while asking himself how they let a barely fourteen-year-old kid into SOLDIER

When he meets Genesis, Genesis brushes him off immediately, entirely disinterested in him. Angeal tells him not to take it personally, that Genesis doesn't easily warm up to other people in the same way Sephiroth doesn't, but Sephiroth is polite in a way Genesis isn't. Genesis seems to hate him. Zack swallows down the rejection and pretends it doesn't hurt him because he's developed a reputation for being happy all the time and no one wants to hear him whine

It takes him until the conversation at the hillside overlooking Gongaga for him and Genesis to finally talk and for Zack to realise that Genesis doesn't really hate him. But it's almost too little, too late, because the only other two people important to both of them are dead and gone

But at least they have each other

Edit: I wrote a small fic about this, that isn't as angsty as this is, it's just the hillside conversation. You can find the link to it here

[shatteredsilverwing]

Different Stages of Life AU - First Sleepover Pt. 1.5

Since I have to split my First Sleepover fic up into two different posts (Thank you kindly, Tumblr~), I'm going to post the first part of it here, and the second part of it seperately... Part 1 can be found here!

Enjoy! Words and Characters in total: Words: 1,971 words Characters: 10,869 characters

DING DONG! There it was. That sound which made Sephiroth feel antsy the moment the sound reached his delicate ears. The doorbell. Well, actually, It wasn’t the doorbell itself that frightened him, but more the reason why it rang. Angel was supposed to visit him this weekend and moreover, she planned a sleepover at his place. No one has ever visited Sephiroth before, much less staying overnight. It was the very first time, so he was very jittery. His Mother’s encouragement, that he would play an excellent host to Angel, soothed his nerves a little. She also made sure to teach his son how to be a gentleman towards a lady and how to make sure that she felt comfortable and welcomed at all times.

DING DONG! The doorbell rang once more, and even though he stood right in front of the entrance door, Sephiroth still hasn’t moved an inch. He took a deep breath and reminded himself of one of the rules his Mother taught him: Never keep a lady waiting!

“Okay, Sephiroth…”, he mumbled to comfort himself, “You’ve got this…” With a shaking hand, he grabbed the door handle and, to his own surprise, accidentally flung the door open, almost crashing into Angel. “Hello, Sephy!”, Angel greeted him with a bright, enthusiastic smile, “If I had known that you were that excited to see me, I would’ve arrived earlier!” Sephiroth’s cheeks turned scarlet when he realised what she just said and immediately adjusted his posture. “Hello, Angel. "Please, come in.” He stepped aside to invite her into his home and Angel happily obliged. Even though she was carrying one of her favourite rucksacks on her back and another shoulder bag, she entered the house at an easy pace. After Sephiroth closed the door behind him, he seemed unsure on what to do next. Should he ask her if he should carry her belongings into the guest room upstairs? Should he offer her something to drink first? Just when he was about to ask her, they both heard soft-footed steps from across the kitchen. “Angel, it's good to see you! Have you arrived safely, my sweet child?” Mother Jenova hugged Angel together with her luggage into a tight embrace, almost squeezing her. But Angel didn’t seem to mind, as her smile got even wider and nodded eagerly in response.

“That’s good to hear! Sephiroth, be a dear and help Angel to carry her luggage upstairs into our guest room, alright?”

“Y-yes, Mother…”, he replied and couldn’t help but feel relieved that his Mother began to speak before he got the chance to do so. Otherwise, he probably would’ve stood there for a few seconds in awkward silence, making both of them feel uncomfortable. Angel stripped off her shoulder bag and carefully handed it over to him with a bashful smile. “I hope it’s not too heavy… I couldn’t decide which stuffed animal I should take with me…” When Sephiroth took it, he smiled at her reassuringly. “It’s not too heavy, don’t worry!” And thus, they both went upstairs with Sephiroth taking the lead. Angel was mesmerised by the size of the upper floor and didn’t know where to look first. With all the paintings, family photos and shelves filled to no end with books and sketches, the upper floor resembled a museum gallery more like. There was a lot to discover! “Who drew all of these paintings?”, she asked without averting her eyes from them. “My Mother”, he answered briefly as he headed to the door of the guest room. Angel was speechless with amazement while passing all the paintings and photos one after another, until one particular photo caught her eye. She came to a stop to take a closer look at it. In the photo, there’s Sephiroth’s Mother, Jenova, holding her beloved son within her arms when he was still a baby. If Angel would have to guess where this photo was taken, she would bet on a hospital. Probably shortly after Jenova gave birth to him. When she moved her eyes to the right side of the photo, she noticed something unusual about it. The photo was torn apart and the part that was ripped off was missing. She blinked a few times before she tilted her head in confusion, but before she could say or ask anything about it, Sephiroth already came running and pulled her away from it. “I’ll bring you to our guest room now. It’s on the opposite side of my room. Come on.” Usually, Angel would’ve scolded him for this rude gesture, but her guts told her to keep quiet and to have patience with him. There’s probably a good reason why he reacted like that, so she didn’t take it with a grain of salt. Instead, she tried to change the subject when they entered the guest room to lighten up the mood again. The room was painted in a delicate pink that matched perfectly with the carpeted floor and the pale pink curtains on each side of the window. The window reached down to the floor and had a good view on the landscape that stretched out to the horizon. The blankets and the pillows, who would have thought, were also covered with delicate pink sateen bed sheets. The bed itself looked very comfy and bouncy, Angel already planned on making use of that mattress… In the same corner where the door was, stood a wooden rocking chair that felt like it didn’t belong in this room. “I thought I was sleeping with you in a room together. A lot of children don’t have the luxury of having a guest room at home.” “I don’t like sharing my room with someone else. B-but…”, he hastily added while he turned around to face her, “that has nothing to do with you! I just… Never had a sleepover before…”

Sephiroth looked down, ashamed of his answer. He worried that Angel might get mad at him for his stupid reasoning and didn’t dare to look at her. But she wasn’t mad at him. In fact, she was more heartbroken to hear that Sephiroth never got to experience the joy of a sleepover. She knew that he hadn't had that many friends to begin with, or, none at all, rather. But this… She tenderly grabbed his other hand as well, giving them a loving squeeze. “Don’t worry, Sephy. If you don’t like it, then I can sleep here. I don’t mind.” After hearing her reassurance, he got his courage back to look at her, and when he saw her smiling gently at him, he blushed heavily and relief spread through his whole body. He even managed to return a slight smile. “Do you want to go down to the kitchen? My Mother is making some pancakes for us.” “Of course! But first, I want to see your room!” Though Sephiroth could have guessed it, he was taken aback by her demand to see his room first. It’s not like his room wasn’t clean and tidy all the time, he just didn’t find his room to be interesting in general. “Okay, but it’s nothing special, trust me.”

[To be continued]

[9strife]

did final fantasy 7 change my life?? absolutely!! holy smokes man, my whole life revolves around that game. i plan to play the other final fantasy games too it's just a matter of money - and that, well, i have none. the only thing stopping me from playing more than just 7 is money. not that i mind, i dont think ill form an obsession with the others like this one. i love it so much. the cast, the story, the style... it's all perfect. the perfect game for me.

its nice to see a protagonist like Cloud that i can actually see myself in, i relate to him heavily in a way that no other character has reached me before. the identity issues, the grief, the trauma, the false bravado he has no choice but to put on 24/7 because he doesn't even realise it's not him, not how he would act if he knew who he was. i get that. its deep. hits hard. it speaks to me, i relate painfully.

and Sephiroth? best antagonist ive ever come across; i mean, i know its almost all Jenova but he still had that mindset the second he found out about who he really was, where he came from, and who Jenova was. id react that way too, to be honest. even so, his design, his story, his eerie presence? its so captivating. (ill still always find his death really... well, funny. the strength Cloud somehow mustered up to hold the weight of his masamune is outstanding).

Zack too!!/ cant forget him, man. crisis core really hurt. i loved genesis a lot, wish there was more content of him in the remakes even if he is dead. i liked Angeal but just not as much as Genesis, he was so cool and ugh idk just his whole character and the constant quoting of loveless was amusing..

shipping wars fucking sucks, tho. i think clerith is alright, i can tolerate it and i actually do think it's kinda cute sometimes but overall just... no. if you apply it to real life: would you date your dead best friends ex girlfriend? the only reason she's an 'ex' being that he's dead? no... no, it's just wrong. its gross. you dont do that. thats the issue i have with it. cloud doesnt remember Zack until a while into the game, and in the original he has no romantic scenes with Aerith at all - just friendly interactions!! yeah, in the remake, it's very teased but so is cloti. its purely for shipping wars, to keep the fandom of ff7 active. the remake doesn't mean much to me compared to the og so i try not to take it too seriously. cloti on the other hand? man, i love cloti. tifa quite literally repaired clouds mind which we have yet to see in the remake because part 3 hasn't been released yet but it happened alright. she would've died before anything happened to him, she didn't dare leave his side when he was in the wheelchair. and im pretty sure they had sex under the highwind... heavily implied. i sound hypocritical saying i hate shipping wars and then ranting about it, dont i? ill stop here anyway. (i like zakkura too, and heavy on zerith.)

yeah i just wanted to express my love for ff7. everytime i beat the games i replay them in order and i never even get bored. the obsession is real, im hoping to get merch for my birthday in the summer but i know it's expensive so i can only hope.. especially since it's my sweet 16th this year

[hautevaux]

For the very first time in his yet young life, Vaux had heard the opposite of what he had always been told. There were no agreements with his darkest fears, no further ripening of his self-detestation through words in support of it - but instead denial, instead, a very gentle it's not true. That alone was enough to set the tailors internal machinations into a war-zone; his own self-doubt and disgust now mixing with his want to believe Sephiroth, of all people - - because he knew he'd never lie to him.

Freezing nigh solid beneath the offered touch to his back, Vaux's subconscious gives in to what could only be described as muscle memory from a time now long past. Once, where a hand would cause harm in disgust - a memory haunting the very fibres of his being -- but now, replaced, by such gentleness, such care. It takes him but a moment, but he finds it within himself to relax the immense tension throughout his person and let the solace soak into the marrow of his bones.

The more Sephiroth speaks, the more Vaux's exterior relaxes - he is yet battling himself on the inside, an ever raging war that he can do naught to end. Softly, he leans closer to his company's side and as of yet chooses to say naught. Instead, his consciousness yet rumbles with the torrents of memories and thoughts alike, uncertainty and loathing meeting delicate fragments of hope.

Slowly, Vaux lifts his head from his knees as Sephiroth continued, lamenting his image on every open space in Midgar, his very visage used to lure the next generation of cannon fodder into ShinRa's ranks - and how the tailors heart sinks at seeing him so... resigned to that fate.

Eyes are sore, lashes yet heavy with tears, but Vaux reaches a hand toward the other and so gently does he tuck hair behind an ear with long - if not cold - fingers.

"I guess... It's a really good thing my superior was sick that day, huh-?" Vaux attempts to be light-hearted, but he truly did believe that it had been fate that had guided that hand, that they had meant to meet in such a manner. A lithe hand raised to wipe at an eye, the dampness that remained yet suggestive of more tears pending, but for the moment they did not fall.

"They are... so cruel to you... If I can help alleviate any of it - - I always will." Be that in the garments he made and the adjustments he was certain to do to give as much comfort as possible, or in person - simply by being there. But Vaux wasn't naïve enough to think it would help much at all, he knew how heavy the burden of such things was - at least to a personal degree - the little things helped, but they only ever acted as a salve over the bigger wound.

For a moment, the tailor favours silence - the intricacies of his own burdens, his personal loathing nigh eat him alive and 't is almost as if he can hear his father's cruel remarks echoing around the room they sit within, but he tries his best to bury it - to offer a delicate trust to Sephiroth and his judgment despite much of him screaming to hide his own hideousness. Vaux was fragile, far more so than his exterior or persona's would allow one to understand or realise, and even now was it difficult to keep those pieces from shattering apart.

"--besides--" He makes an attempt at reigniting his usual spark, the smile upon his face lithe but genuine. "I seem to be quite lucky in getting to see the face plastered over billboards up close quite often - - and I dare say, in my professional opinion, that is is even better in person---" A smile, somewhat wider than before blossoms over Vaux's features; "---you can see so much more of you, for example - - and that's what I adore the very most."

Perhaps its jarring, for Vaux to go from intensely upset to flattering comments, but it is his way of steering the conversation away from his darkest fears and greatest detestations when it came to himself. Sephiroth knew now, though, and thus it was far more likely that the tailor would eventually open up about it on a far deeper level. For the moment, however... Perhaps it was better left behind.

THE COURSE OF VAUX'S ANXIETY SOUNDED OFF NOT LIKE A BOMB, BUT LIKE A WHIMPER. sephiroth hadn't even realized the severity of what he'd done until vaux's face, clean of any makeup, suddenly hardened and cracked to breaking like a doll made of porcelain, taking him more by surprise and perplexity than anywhere near disgust. while he was never good at this sort of thing, sephiroth almost felt bad for having to ask what he'd done to make him sob like that.

in a way, he still does.

" that's not true, " he murmurs, settling down beside him. a companionate hand hovers over a cowering vaux's shoulder, suddenly hesitant to drop any sort of comfort, especially when his presence alone seems problematic at best.

to sephiroth, strong emotions are a nebulous concept. they are clear as mud and almost foreign at first glance, near diseased when they arrive underneath his own skin; but when all else failed, in the end, compassion was an easy tool to wield. sephiroth's hand gently falls over vaux's back, drawing slow, delicate circles over each node of his spine.

" with or without all the glamour, you're still the same vaux to me, "    continues sephiroth, carefully.    " listen, i don't like you because of the makeup and clothes you wear. i like you for you, even if you must wear a mask. thinking on it now, i might even understand that insecurity. "    he pauses, suddenly grotesquely aware of himself and the weight of his own confession. he shakes his head.

" my face and body are on nearly every billboard across midgar. from the time i was a teenager, i've seen my photoshoots run at railway stations, on posters, autograph signings, even on the SOLDIER welcome pamphlets. my image is ingrained everywhere, and it means everything to shinra. i've never told anyone this before, but, "    hair shielding his features, his face darkens,    “ i don't like it, and i never have. fortunately for me, i employed an apprenticing tailor for that very purpose, and a brilliant one at that, who designs clothing for marketing campaigns that i'd otherwise be uncomfortable wearing if they were made by anyone else, especially shinra's more seasoned designers. you make it such a different experience for me, and i owe you far more gratitude than i can give. ” 

[rainbowcarousels]

hope you feel better, take it easy and just thought of a funny fluffy idea. cloud is just so short, when was the first time each one of them had the realization? like all of them are generally tall so it's normal for them others being shorter right? but like cloud is short on average not just compare to them

I could so easily cry in my three-inches-short-than-Cloud despair here, but instead, I bring you this. Since we see everyone but Zack and maybe Angeal have that realisation in JBSWM’s main text, I picked a moment for each where the realisation was important. Hopefully this still fits the bill!

“Okay, I see what you're doing,” Zack said. Feedback was going to be helpful if he could pinpoint what was going okay and what wasn't. It was their third time in the training rooms and every time Zack put himself into a position to strike, Cloud would move himself out of reach by pacing back or to the side. “But you can't always dodge your way out of a fight. Sometimes, you just gotta get in there and fight.”

“Quit being so slow then,” Cloud shrugged.

Oh, how much a couple of months changed things because he wasn't even a little bit of a mumbly mess around him now. It was just easier to telegraph what he was doing if he went slowly and Cloud wasn't enhanced. He didn't want to hurt him!

“Okay, try to block me,” Zack lunged low and made a pleased noise when Cloud did in fact block him with the sword forced onto the ground. “Let's try that again!”

This time, he aimed high and was surprised to find himself spinning around in a circle in place. Confused, he looked at Cloud who stared blankly at him.

“I said not to dodge,” Zack reminded him.

“I didn't,” Cloud said. “I barely moved and you missed.”

“No way!” It was harder to get an accurate pinpoint of movements because his hair did give the appearance his head was further up, but he wasn't that bad. Right? “Really?”

“You got some of my hair,” Cloud pointed to the ground, where yep, there was some strands of blonde hair. “Remind me never to come to you for a haircut.”

“Just stand your ground so I can get a better idea of your defense, okay?” Zack said.

“Sure,” Cloud said. “I just didn't realise you wanted me to go easy on you.”

That led to all thoughts of defensive work being abandoned in favour of getting him into a headlock he wouldn't let him out of till he said he was the greatest or it was time for dinner. Whichever came first!

---

“What are you doing?” Genesis asked, as if he couldn't guess from the current angle that Cloud had pulled himself up onto his knees on the kitchen counter.

Cloud must not have realised he was coming, because he almost immediately lost balance and Genesis could thank his excellent reflexes for the fact he managed to catch him moments later. Cloud looked at him owlishly, then to his arms currently supporting him more on his ass than his legs, then back at him.

“Cloud?” Genesis prompted, more out of worry that he was still having processing difficulties than discomfort from the position. Not unexpected at this early stage, but having had no one he cared for severely incapacitated by the SOLDIER process or maintenance, it was easy to get caught up in a flurry of worry of for him. Besides which, he really was frightfully small and weighed nothing. Hopefully this was normal for him and not a glaring sign of decreasing resources.

“I'm okay,” Cloud said, shaking his hair out of his face with abundant fury.

“What were you doing?” Genesis looked up to see a precariously placed plate. “Did you do the dishes?”

“You won't let me contribute in any other way,” Cloud said. “I was trying to help.”

“Because you're recovering which is a full time occupation,” Genesis chided lightly. “I would have done them when I returned.”

Cloud gave him a look he usually saw on Angeal, which was both surreal and a little funny. “You would have done the dishes.”

Had they really reached the point he noticed that? “Eventually,” Genesis amended. “Those cupboards were not made for someone of your stature. If you insist on doing them, I can put them away.”

“Are you calling me short again?” It shouldn't have been so endearing to see him huff and puff in his arms like that, but it was.

“I believe we settled on travel sized,” Genesis corrected, moving reluctantly to get him back on his feet. “Let's take a trip back to resting before you fall and crack your head open. Blood would be murder to get out of this carpet.”

--

Cloud's feet didn't even reach the end of the sofa.

While Angeal had suspected they might not as he had sat with him on his lap while Genesis helped Zack make up a bed on his couch, it was still startling to see it. It made him seem small and vulnerable, so Angeal did as best he could to get him into a comfortable position and put the blankets over him. At least when his awareness returned – which it had at this point given the upset that would happen if he did not – he would be cosy and comfortable.

Someone would have to retrieve either his clothes. Genesis had made noises about simply buying some more but there was something that felt safe about wearing something that was your own. Or someone you loved, as evidenced by the fact half of his clothes seemed to be co-oped by his partners in what was more likely a fiendish scheme to make him do their laundry.

All they could do now was wait.

---

Sephiroth was caught. Given the still early nature of their relationship, he was unsure of what the etiquette regarding Cloud having fallen asleep when he didn't want to was. With Genesis, it wasn't a good idea to wake him because he became 'stabby' without enough sleep so it was always helpful to let him get some if he needs it but Angeal liked to be woken provided he wasn't in bed in case he positioned himself badly.

Cloud was technically in bed, but he had said he didn't want to sleep. But he also needed sleep and didn't seem to be having any intense sort of nightmare. He was a deep enough sleep that Sephiroth had reached over to remove Zack's PHS from his hands and not only had his grip been slack, but he curled into Sephiroth's  side and pushed his head close into his chest so much that Sephiroth could feel his eyelashes moving against his skin.

It was oddly pleasant.

Perhaps this is what felt safe during sleep for Cloud. It had taken him a while but he could also admit to feeling at his most safe when Genesis, Angeal and even Zack were so close he didn't even have to open his eyes to know they were there. If Cloud liked it, perhaps it would help keep nightmares at bay. Sephiroth pulled himself closer, letting his chin rest on the tips of blonde spices.

When Angeal had come in later and compared him to using Cloud as a teddy bear – a soothing device for children to simulate affection so their caregiver could do other things – he could hardly deny it. Being able to wrap himself so completely around his small form had felt good, warm and safe for him too. That even tired and emotionally wrung out, he could still protect him and keep him until he awoke.

Sephiroth hoped that he wouldn’t awaken too soon.

[khazadspoon]

kiss 3 for sephzack!

It felt like I was going somewhere with this??? BUt i cannot remember ff7 canon so have mentioned.... little that would be in any way canon compliant. But I hope you like it!

3. A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Kiss me.” 

Zack blinked at the legend currently half dressed and very distressed on the couch. After whatever it was he found out in the past evening, Sephiroth had been… distracted. His usually calm demeanor had become frantic, his eyes darting from place to place only to become distant within a matter of moments. He had sent Cloud out for a few hours, scouting he had said in lieu of an excuse, but he hadn’t expected this. 

“Excuse me?” He asked, sitting down next to the man. 

Sephiroth turned to him, his hand reaching out to grasp at Zack’s knee. “Kiss me.”

“I got that. But why?”

Sephiroth looked across at him, his Mako-bright eyes wide as his fingers gripped tight enough to bruise. “I feel- I feel as though I am flying apart. My mind is scattered, I can scarcely understand what I am thinking at any given moment. When you… kissed me before, it calmed me. I felt at ease. I want that again;” he stopped, licked his lips, and Zack couldn’t stop himself looking down at those lips. 

He remembered the kiss. It had been a small thing, just a press of his lips to Sephiroth’s, chaste and as pure as anything in the world they lived in could be. That Sephiroth wanted it again was…

He didn’t know what it was. 

But Sephiroth was practically begging him. The wind rattled outside, cold and cruel. Zack felt a moment of unease as he pictured the young Cloud out there with only a couple of other troops, they would all be cold when they got back, but there was something more pressing in front of him. 

He frowned for a moment before putting his hand on Sephiroth’s, patted it, eased it from his knee and entwined their fingers. 

“C’mere,” he said softly, urging Sephiroth to scoot closer. He reached up, ran his fingers through long silver hair, brushed it carefully away from the sharp features of the man’s face. Their knees bumped and Zack felt his chest tighten as he realised what he was going to do. “Are you sure?” He asked. 

Sephiroth nodded once, firmly, no room for argument or misinterpretation. 

Zack leaned forward. He braced himself with a hand on Sephiroth’s chest, felt the unsteady thud of his heartbeat, the cold of his skin, and kissed him. 

It was soft, Sephiroth’s lips softer than they had seemed months ago. His breath was cool where it hit Zack’s cheek. He felt the muscles under his hand loosen and felt the tension fall from Sephiroth’s being as the kiss settled into him. 

A different tension rose in Zack’s own muscles as Sephiroth kissed him back - his gut tightened, his shoulders curled inward and towards the man, his lips parting at the hesitant brush of a tongue. The kiss deepened and became something less about comfort and more about… He wasn’t sure what, but it was good. A hand cupped his jaw and angled it just so, the press of their mouths somehow better. Zack moved closer and groaned as he was held close to the broad chest that was slowly heating from his proximity. 

Sephiroth wrapped an arm around him, let go of his hand to cup the nape of his neck and hold him almost delicately. Zack tasted the almost ozone flavour of Mako on his tongue and let himself fall into the kiss further. 

It was almost like floating, he thought. Whatever comfort he had sought to offer, he was receiving in turn. It settled under his skin, hummed like energy but had none of the urgency, only the gentle knowledge that there was something good happening. 

When the skin under his hands was warm, Zack felt Sephiroth draw back. He blinked his eyes open slowly and met the man’s gaze. It was also warm, and he was glad to see it was steady again. There was none of the frantic wide-eyed stares from before, none of the uncertainty or blank moments he had seen over the past day and night. 

“You okay?” He asked quietly, leaning into the hand still firmly placed on the back of his neck. 

Sephiroth nodded once as his hand on Zack’s jaw moved away. It smoothed hair from his face and a thumb brushed the shell of Zack’s ear.. He shivered, felt himself drift a little further into the strange quiet of his mind. 

“Thank you,” Sephiroth whispered. 

“Why?” He responded, surfacing as the hand on his neck retreated. “It was just a kiss.”

Sephiroth shook his head, a small frown on his impossibly soft lips. “No. No it wasn’t.”

And he was right - Zack was fooling himself if he thought otherwise.

[foxtale97]

Part 5 of my Reunited series is the Highwind Scene, the way I hope it will go in Remake. (I think this scene is a right of passage for Cloti fanfic writers lol) I’m putting the whole thing on here. The rest of the series is on AO3 if you wanna check it out. Still planning one or two more additions to it 😊

WITHOUT WORDS

“Hey Tifa, I…. There are a lot of things I wanted to talk to you about. But now that we’re together like this, I don’t know what I really wanted to say... I guess nothing’s changed at all… Kind of makes you want to laugh...”

Cloud sighs in frustration. This is how it always goes; he tries to open up, hesitates, and then the moment passes him by.

But surely, Tifa already knows what he's trying to say? She was the one who mended his fractured mind in the Lifestream. He’d been a puzzle that only she could solve, each piece of him wrapped in secrets. Now she knew them all. Yet still, he can’t find the words?

They had climbed down from the Highwind to watch the sunset. After all, if they fail to defeat Sephiroth tomorrow, it may be their last. The rest of the team have left to tie up loose ends and say goodbye to loved ones. But Cloud and Tifa have no one to see and nowhere to call home. The fact doesn’t make him as miserable as he thought it would. Perhaps it’s because home has started to feel like wherever Tifa is.

She stands with her back to him, silhouetted by the sunset, but he sees her head drop. Is she disappointed with his vague admission? He’s always letting her down. Always failing to fulfil his promise. But he's come to realise that his promise isn’t just about being there to save her, it’s about being there for her... like, as a friend, or maybe even... more than a friend?

Tifa’s voice is clear and steady when she tells him, “Cloud, words aren’t the only thing that tell people what you’re thinking.”

Cloud’s head snaps up, his churning mind brought to an immediate standstill.

The sentence hangs in the air between them, a bold invitation, a solution, a dare. Can he dare to believe that she feels the same?

Tifa is as still as a statue while she waits for his response. He swallows, mouth dry as a bone, and forces his leaden feet towards her.

Cloud moves to her side, close enough that he can feel the warmth of her arm next to his, the tingle of almost touching, like electricity sparking between them. Keeping his attention on the sunset, he lightly brushes his fingers against hers in askance. She responds by turning her palm towards him, and he laces their fingers together.

He exhales a held breath quietly. Whatever courage he has on the battlefield, it has all but deserted him now. It's not like they've never held hands before, but it has always been a necessary thing, or something that's happened on impulse, in the heat of the moment, triggered by fear or adrenaline. This is different. This is touching to be tender, to convey the feelings that he's kept locked away for so long.

When he risks a sideways glance, he’s surprised to see Tifa looking just as nervous as him. She’s tense, colour blooming in her cheeks, but offers a shy smile when she looks at him through her lashes. His stomach flips.

The corner of his mouth quirks upwards, while he gently tugs on her hand, pulling her round to face him. Large garnet eyes, filled with guarded anticipation, lock on his as she grants his silent request to come closer. He tries to keep his breathing even, with her face just inches from his. The fear of disappointing her with his lack of experience makes him hesitant to close the gap. He is out of his depth here.

As if she knows, Tifa leans forward to rest her forehead against his, offering him a moment of respite to gather his resolve. Cloud closes his eyes, concentrates on the feel of her breath playing across his face, the scent of vanilla that always clings to her hair. He lets it pull him in, gently bumping their noses together, nuzzling. Tifa responds, tilting her head until, finally, their lips brush softly. A small, shaky breath escapes him, before he repeats the contact, enjoying the fullness of her lips, revelling in the fact that she reciprocates, the fact that he is actually kissing Tifa Lockhart!

His need soon overcomes all doubts. He releases her hand to skim his fingers up her arm, before stroking along her jaw and cradling her head. This time he kisses her firmly, pulling her closer, growing bolder by the second. He nips gently at her lower lip, something he’s been dying to do since she bit it shyly that time when he called her beautiful. Tifa lets out a small groan as she opens to accept his explorations, twining her fingers in his hair, seemingly just as intoxicated as him.

Once he’s had a taste of her, he can’t stop. With his embrace he tells her how much he needs her, with his touch he tells her how precious she is to him, and with his lips he tells her how much he loves her, and always will.

Gradually, the sky turns from orange, to pink, to twinkling stars. They reflect in Tifa’s eyes, dilated and sparkling like rubies when they break apart for air. Cloud takes in her flushed cheeks and kiss swollen lips with wonder. She leans against him, hands on his chest and he wraps her in his arms, enjoying the closeness. He wishes they could have had this sooner, and now this might be all the time they get. But the night air has cooled significantly and Tifa shivers in his arms.

“You cold?”

“A little,” she replies against his chest.

“Want to head inside?”

She nods and he releases her, wishing the night didn’t have to come to an end.

“I think we missed the sunset,” Cloud muses, as they head for the ladder to the airship.

Tifa pauses and looks up, “I think I prefer the stars.”

Cloud smiles to himself as he joins her, gazing up at them. "Me too."

Once back on the ship, they stroll slowly to the sleeping quarters, trying to prolong their time together. Cloud finds himself stealing sideways glances at Tifa all the way, until she catches him, and he looks away quickly like some love-struck teenager. She fails to hide a smirk and Cloud cringes internally. Why is he acting like this? He’s a grown man now and he wants Tifa to know that.

“Well, this is me,” Tifa says, as they reach the door to her sleeping cabin. Her voice is pitched slightly higher than usual.

Cloud takes a step towards her, “I’ll say goodnight then.”

He brushes her hair behind her ear, pulling her in for a goodnight kiss that he hopes will make her weak at the knees. Their lips meet with a sense of urgency, arms winding tightly around each other, hands wandering, hers gliding over biceps and pectorals, his tracing exposed collarbone and midriff. Cloud allows his desire to take over, pushing her back against the door, a hand on her lower back pressing soft and pliant curves against hard planes. Tifa lets out a breathless moan that sends his mind down a road he shouldn’t be taking. He pulls back and rests his forehead against hers while he slows his breathing. He doesn’t want to go too far. Tifa’s right hook is not something he wants to be on the receiving end of.

“Sorry… got a little carried away...” he mutters, stepping back and scratching the back of his neck.

Tifa remains where she is for a moment, leaning against the door, her chest heaving. Her eyes are a deeper shade of burgundy than he’s ever seen them, but she quickly casts them downwards, brows pulling into a slight frown.

His heart stops. Did he do something wrong?

She straightens, running a hand through her hair. Then she bites her bottom lip thoughtfully, before meeting his gaze again.

“Cloud, I… didn’t say anything about going to sleep...” she laughs nervously.

Cloud’s eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. She wants more? The thought alone makes him a strange mixture of ecstatic and terrified.

“Oh! Unless you’re tired?” Tifa blurts in a panic, wrapping her arms around herself.

That has Cloud bewildered. Doesn't she know how much he wants her?

He reaches for her chin and gently tilts her face up until she meets his eyes. Then, with a shy smile, he shakes his head. Nope, not tired at all.

Tifa swallows, and the corners of her mouth twitch in bashful acknowledgement. She reaches blindly for the handle and opens the door. Then, with unwavering eye contact, Cloud backs her into the room and closes it behind them.

[eldritchwriter]

CHAPTER TWO UPDATED Defeating Sunrise by @eldritchwriter | Rating: Explicit | Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife.

Summary: Cloud isn't good at this whole 'parenting' gig, and even when he tries, it doesn't seem to be doing him any good. He's ready to give up, when he is inexplicably pulled into the past with his young protege in tow. The last thing Cloud expects is to be dropped straight into the Wutai War and in front of a Sephiroth who is younger and still in charge of his own mind.

As Cloud spirals headlong into his trauma-filled past, trying to make sense of his memories and discern truth from his own fictions, long-buried feelings for Sephiroth begin to emerge. With Denzel's help, he can surely change the future, but the biggest question of all is what that future should look like at all. Read here on AO3 or read here:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Even unarmed, Sephiroth was dangerous. Cloud tightened his hand on First Tsurugi, moving so he was completely covering Denzel from any potential attack.

“Why are you here?” Cloud hissed. “How are you here? I killed you.”

Sephiroth’s head tilted to one side, and he looked Cloud up and down. Cloud didn’t miss the way Sephiroth’s eyes next went to Masamune, then to Denzel, and back to him. It would have been too fast for someone else to catch, but not for SOLDIER enhanced eyesight.

“Don’t even think about it,” Cloud said. “You’ll be dead before your hand reaches the hilt.”

A quirk upwards at the corner of Sephiroth’s lips was the only warning before he lunged for the blade. Cloud didn’t think before reacting, swinging his sword on its blunt edge straight into Sephiroth’s stomach. Sephiroth’s eyes widened as he doubled over, the breath leaving his lungs as he staggered backwards.

Cloud raised his sword in a ready position again, eyes not leaving Sephiroth at all.

Then Sephiroth smirked.

“You said I’d be dead. Use the sharp side of the blade for that.”

Sephiroth’s voice still had that deep, liquidy slide to it that squirmed its way into Cloud’s head and wouldn’t let go. But Cloud also detected a hint of breathlessness to it, one that he hadn’t heard from Sephiroth before whenever they’d fought.

Sephiroth did not get winded in battle, no matter how hard the blow.

“Thanks for the tip. I’ll slice you in half next time,” Cloud said, tightening his grip on the sword hilt.

The air was hot and stagnant around them. Cloud, who was dressed for the cool air outside Midgar and not for a more humid environment, felt the sweat drip down the back of his neck. Still, it was a stalemate. Sephiroth did not move, his eyes scanning Cloud like an interesting monster that had popped up out of the undergrowth.

But it was not an unblinking stare like Cloud was used to, glowing and snake-slitted to the point of inhumanity. Framed by silver hair that reflected only moonlight, Sephiroth’s eyes shone with intensity and, most frightening of all, sanity.

A PHS started ringing, startling Cloud enough to almost make him leap into an attack. Fortunately, he realised what it was before doing so, and Sephiroth raised his hands with a smirk before reaching slowly into his pocket. Cloud inched forward, not prepared to trust that Sephiroth wasn’t about to pull out a materia and activate it.

But Sephiroth pulled out a PHS with a black leather phone strap and flipped it open, pressing the speakerphone with a small beep. His eyes didn’t leave Cloud’s.

“You’re late.”

The voice that came from the PHS was no-nonsense and deep. In the background there was the sound of gunfire. Cloud didn’t recognise it.

“Apologies. I’ve been held up.”

“You? Held up?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded equal parts amused and concerned.

“Yes. I trust that you’ll be able to get this done without me, Angeal. I was only on this mission for the optics of it anyway,” Sephiroth said. “Call me back when the new troops are in position.”

“Wait, Sephiroth, are you—”

Whatever ‘Angeal’ had been about to say was cut off by Sephiroth snapping the phone shut.

“So, what happened? Did the Wutaians find you and pay you, or did they create you? Their own super-soldier? You have mako eyes, I notice.”

Cloud frowned in confusion.

“Cloud?” Denzel was peering round him at Sephiroth, wearing a scowl of his own. “Why doesn’t he recognise you?”

“Should I?” Sephiroth asked, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of being introduced before.”

“You know, in all your stories about fighting Sephiroth, you never told me he was so chatty,” Denzel said, and Cloud saw Denzel was looking up at him through his peripheral vision.

None of this made any sense. Sephiroth was acting like he didn’t know Cloud, like he hadn’t repeatedly hunted him down – even risen from the dead – in order to kill him. Something was hugely wrong.

“What are you? Some lost clone? Didn’t get the memo that this is all over and Jenova is dead?” Cloud asked, and to hell with it, he was about to just run Sephiroth through and be done, when Denzel shifted just a little further forward.

The moment Cloud took his eyes off Sephiroth to move Denzel back behind him, Sephiroth moved. Cloud barely had time to bring up his sword to deflect the blow aimed at his neck that would have taken his head clean off his shoulders. Masamune now once more in hand, though, Sephiroth flipped backwards, out of range of Cloud’s counterattack, and made no move to attack again.

“I’m wondering if you’re just a lost Wutaian that has fallen into a mako pool and lost his mind,” Sephiroth replied and his eyes slid to Denzel. “Boy, has your friend had any knocks to the head recently? Fallen into any large gullies?”

“Why you—” Cloud began, but Denzel’s hand on his arm made him pause.

“Cloud… I don’t think he remembers anything…” Denzel’s voice dropped low to a whisper, though Cloud knew it would have no effect on Sephiroth’s ability to hear them. “Doesn’t this seem really weird?”

“The only thing that is weird is that some no one in the middle of the Wutaian jungle has disarmed me,” Sephiroth answered, his voice sounding quietly bemused. “And that if Wutai had such a soldier at their disposal, they did not do a very good job in briefing him not to lose his mind in the field.”

Sephiroth lowered Masamune and his body language relaxed. Cloud couldn’t believe it. Sephiroth was… standing down? Since when did the mighty Sephiroth do anything except gear up for battle?

The creak of bamboo and leaves rustling in the wind was all that passed between them for a few moments.

“I am not particularly good at diplomacy, but generally, I find it works best if both sides use their words to communicate instead of just glaring at one another.”

“Usually, diplomacy doesn’t involve gunboats,” Cloud replied without thinking.

Sephiroth threw his head back and laughed. And that was when Cloud knew that whatever had happened to him this evening, this was not any Sephiroth he’d met before. This was not the maniacal laughter of a man who believed he was an alien destined to use a planet as an interstellar spaceship. It was deep laughter and held a tinge of irony to it.

“You clearly don’t know Shinra’s version of diplomacy very well. Although I suppose they use less gunboats, and more, well, me,” Sephiroth gestured to himself. “Now, we can fight here. I’m sure it’ll be very thrilling for both of us, but I detect that you want to protect the boy behind you more than you want to fight me right now.”

No matter what Cloud answered, it would show weakness to a man who would exploit it. He gritted his teeth. No answer was better than giving a bad one here. Though Sephiroth was right, he needed to get Denzel away from here and the potential battle that could take place.

“I’m growing bored,” Sephiroth inserted into the long silence that had spun between them. “Being able to disarm me and swing around a sword heavy enough to wind me. That’s impressive. You had my attention for that. But I do not have time for this.”

Sephiroth brought Masamune back up again. “Fight or flee.”

The instinct was to fight. The instinct was to throw everything into battle, all else be damned, and for Cloud to hear the ringing clash of steel through the damp night air once more. To just be done with this already and to not have to see Sephiroth’s cat-like eyes studying his every move just as his bastard of a father had done when Cloud was in a mako tube, held against his will, screaming for someone to save him and Aerith, oh god, Aerith — But Denzel was here, and Cloud would not put him in danger.

If Sephiroth was truly back, it wouldn’t take Cloud long to find him again. No doubt burning down some unprotected village or waxing poetic about his mother on top of Shinra tower. The chief priority had to be Denzel’s safety.

Once Cloud decided, he didn’t pause. He scooped up Denzel, throwing him over his shoulder as the boy squawked, and made for the thick undergrowth.

Sephiroth did not move to pursue.

That was weird. Incredibly so.

Only once Cloud was sure that they had put a few miles between Sephiroth and themselves, did Cloud slow to a walk, setting Denzel back on his feet.

“Cloud! What are you doing?” Denzel hissed. “That’s Sephiroth! That’s… that’s the guy who… he…”

It seemed Denzel didn’t know what he wanted to say, but his eyes turned up towards Cloud in angry accusation all the same. “Why didn’t you fight him? I could have taken care of myself!”

Cloud attached his sword to his back, starting to walk in a direction that he hoped was towards Wutai. “There’ll be time to fight him when you’re not with me. Besides, defeating Sephiroth has always been a team effort. It’s never just been me alone.”

Cloud really wasn’t looking forward to telling Tifa that Sephiroth was not only alive, but seemed to walk around quite fine. And it was perhaps a lie to say that the others had always been by his side fighting Sephiroth, but they had been aware of it. They’d been able to manage the casualties and handle the fallout at least.

Cloud wasn’t sure he could go into battle again alone.

“You could have taken him. It’s not like he had all those other guys around him this time,” Denzel pointed out, cheeks turning red with frustration. “No creepers talking about Reunion either.”

That caused Cloud’s step to falter. There had been something unsettling about it all, and now that he thought, it wasn’t just that Sephiroth didn’t recognise him. It was that the Jenova cells within him were completely silent. Inert. The siren call of Reunion hadn’t shot through him once in their interaction.

And Sephiroth had never had to call his remnants to him on a PHS, had he? Not when he was fully formed.

“Cloud?” Denzel was looking up at him, still angry and confused, but also looking slightly worried now.

“It’s nothing. Come on. Let’s see if Yuffie is about. She’ll want to know if Sephiroth’s on her doorstep.”

He began to walk through the undergrowth more purposefully. Denzel followed behind, and if Cloud threw a few worried glances behind them to check for pursuit, he didn’t comment on it.

*

Arrival in Wutai was not what Cloud thought it would be. The proud nation had been rebuilt under Yuffie’s leadership, well, as much as possible given the rapid conversion to renewable energy had allowed. But gone were the windmills atop the mountains, and there was the scent of smoke in the air.

It was only once they were clear of the forests and out of the valleys into an open plain that Cloud saw what he had feared. The plains around Wutai were crawling with military units, armed to the teeth.

Shinra troops.

And that wasn’t possible.

He pulled Denzel back behind a large boulder, his heart hammering in his chest. There was no way that any Shinra faction had formed without him knowing about it. Not unless Rufus Shinra had been playing some duplicitous game under all their noses. Which wasn’t the most unlikely thing to have happened, but Cloud trusted Reeve to have caught it before it came to something like this.

“Why is there an army here?” Denzel asked, crawling forward. “I thought Wutai had its independence. Why are they under siege?”

Cloud caught the back of his shirt and dragged him back. What was it with this boy and trying to get the lead into danger?

“Those are Shinra troops,” Cloud said, his tongue heavy in his mouth. He was trying his best not to think about the implications, his mind racing as he tried to put together the disparate elements of what had occurred since he’d followed Denzel through that portal.

“But Shinra doesn’t have a military anymore,” Denzel shrugged Cloud’s grip off his shirt, adjusting it and looking to Cloud like he might have all the answers.

“No, they don’t,” Cloud agreed.

Damnit, he wasn’t a strategist. Working out geo-politics was more a Vincent and Reeve thing. Hell, even Barret had more experience with just… seeing the big picture of things. He was simple. Point him at Sephiroth, wind him up, let him go.

Although he hadn’t even done that tonight.

Wait.

A younger Sephiroth, one that he had somehow been able to best and who called people on phones.

A war in Wutai.

Shinra troops on the ground like they owned it, blazoning the Shinra Electric Power Company emblem without shame.

There could be no way that this could be true, and yet…

“Stay close to me and don’t speak. Not a word,” Cloud said, finally turning to Denzel.

It was the first time he’d looked at him properly since they’d fallen through the portal, and he could see that the boy was scared. His blue eyes were wide, the corners of his mouth turned down, and his skin pale in the moonlight. Cloud could hear his breathing as he tried to regulate it.

“What are we going to do?” Denzel asked.

Cloud leaned around the boulder, watching a troop of Shinra soldiers running towards a helicopter in regimented order.

“We’re going to get back to Midgar.”

“Don’t you mean Edge?”

Cloud shook his head. “No… No, I don’t think I do.”

*

Sephiroth surveyed the gathered troops with a bored expression. The area around Wutai itself was not particularly interesting to him. It was heavily landmined, and those inside the city couldn’t really escape it. The battle in this area was mostly one of the mind, a stalemate between two superpowers on who would break first.

The guerrilla battles that happened all over the Western Continent were more his speed, and far more intellectually thrilling than this one. Still, he had been told to be here as the fresh wave of new cannon fodder joined the front lines. Something about being inspirational and that a SOLDIER First Class should do what they could to maintain morale.

Still, this was a job that was far more up Angeal’s alley than Sephiroth’s. In fact, the man had spent more time among the new recruits than he had with his officers. Which left Sephiroth feeling somewhat like he was babysitting the Third Class who Angeal had left behind.

No, not babysitting. Pet-sitting. Zack Fair resembled an over-excited puppy more than he resembled a child. With a children, Sephiroth always found that there was an air of petulance that Zack lacked. He was far too affable.

“Do you think we’ll take the city soon? Like, it’s been years. I dunno how they’re holding out so long,” Zack said, pausing in his squats to instead look at Sephiroth expectantly.

Sephiroth wondered if it was appropriate to remind him that one usually obeyed protocols and called a commanding officer ‘sir’ but he let it slide. He had more on his mind than the besieged Wutai, or Zack’s excitable lack of respect.

“Strength of will,” Sephiroth said, thinking of how his mysterious assailant’s eyes had shone through the darkness earlier that night. They had shown a strength of will, and a fear that bordered on hatred.

If Wutai had synthesised mako into their own soldiers, then this war might be about to get interesting.

“Oh, right,” Zack said, as though Sephiroth’s answer had been particularly illuminating. “Honour and all that.”

“You have a mentor who understands the Wutaian mindset quite explicitly,” Sephiroth commented. “Honour and all that.”

Zack gave him a blinding grin, and opened his mouth to say more, when a barrage of gunfire broke out from the south towards the mountains. He gave Sephiroth a sharp look, and Sephiroth had barely inclined his head before Zack had taken off in the gunfire's direction.

Too eager for battle, too eager to prove himself. Angeal has his hands full teaching that one caution.

Sephiroth walked to the mobile unit that had been turned into his headquarters for the operation. He wasn’t concerned about any enemies attacking them from the rear. It was a suicide mission considering how well-armed Shinra was against an unfortified position. Zack would be more than fine handling it.

Instead, he stepped into the boxy trailer and closed the door behind him. It was a simple space. A cot to rest on, for when Sephiroth slept, which was rarely more than a few hours when he was on the front lines. A screen, on which to project battle plans but which currently was just playing a slideshow screensaver of Shinra’s space program. A small cubicle bathroom, that Sephiroth barely fit into and so often would end up electing to just find a stream when out on mission.

It was not homely, but it was perhaps the place where he had spent most of his time besides Shinra Tower. There were no personal effects. He saw no need for them.

He sat down on the cot and turned over the night in his mind. He should have reported the incident immediately back to Shinra, specifically to Hojo, so that the professor could investigate it if need be. If not Hojo, then at least to the Turks, so they could run intelligence operations into the matter.

But then he would have to admit that, not only had he let the soldier escape, but he had also been disarmed. That didn’t happen to him. He imagined Genesis’ sneer if he were to find out.

Sephiroth’s pride was an incredibly complex thing, but it was also one of the few things that he had that he could claim as his own. Even with a moral code as twisted as his own was compared to the common man, he could justify his actions from his impeccable track record.

If he were no longer the strongest, then that was a slight against not only his standing in this war but also against his identity. Sephiroth, Butcher of Wutai, is what they whispered about him. Though he had not committed all the crimes attributed to his name, there was also a sense of pride in that he was credited almost single-handedly in the success of this campaign.

A loud bang on his door disturbed his reverie.

He got to his feet once more, still turning over the bright-eyed soldier and how fast he’d moved as he opened the door. What he saw caused his grip to tighten so hard on the flimsy plastic doorknob of the trailer that it shattered. The pieces fell to the floor.

Had his thoughts summoned the mysterious man to him? Eyes that glowed with mako, hair that stuck up defying gravity’s command, and a tight, wilful expression that pulled the man’s brows together in what could not be called an intimidating expression but could be called icy determination.

Then Sephiroth saw Zack, who had a sword pointed at the man’s back. And the boy that the man had been guarding struggling in Zack’s grip.

“Sorry to bother you, sir, but I—Ow! Don’t do that!” Zack tried to shake off the redhead boy who had tried to sink his teeth into Zack’s arm.

“Denzel, don’t bite.”

Though the man’s tone was calm, Sephiroth could hear how hard his heart was beating.

He was terrified.

“Someone caught them trying to steal uniforms, probably trying to infiltrate the camp or something. This guy—” Zack gestured with the sword tip to the blond man. “—was slicing through our troops like they were nothing. Must have incapacitated twenty men, but didn’t kill a single one. All just out cold. I don’t think I could have done it.”

“And yet, you beat him?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

It gratified him when Zack shook his head. “Nuh uh. This guy surrendered.”

“I don’t want to fight you.”

“Huh?”

Sephiroth tilted his head to the side. “It is the second time that we have come across each other tonight, and you attacked our troops. What is your motivation behind such actions? Especially as you seemed to want to keep the boy out of danger before?”

The man seemed unfocused, briefly, and then he shrugged. “Someone must have cast Confu on me. I don’t remember.”

Sephiroth ignored the man and instead turned to the boy. “And you as well? Are you going to say that you had a run in with Mystify materia?”

Even if one of the duo had learned to lie, the other was just a boy, and how he quickly glanced at their mystery soldier’s back showed he hadn’t mastered the skill. “Yeah. Yeah, it was Confu.”

Sephiroth was more likely to believe his mother was a chocobo than that obvious deception, but he was going to get nowhere in this mystery as things were. He stepped aside, allowing Zack to frogmarch their captive and his protégé into the unit.

Things were now somewhat more cramped than before, with Sephiroth and Zack stood blocking the door, and their captives crowded back against the cot.

“You do not recognise this man, Zack?” Sephiroth checked.

The blond’s unique blade, which bore a striking resemblance to Angeal’s Buster Sword, did not escape Zack, who was taking it from him. Sephiroth saw the man tense until Zack rested the blade against the wall.

“No, sir,” Zack said. “He’s not anyone who I trained alongside.”

“So, who are you?” Sephiroth asked, surprised when unease flashed across the man’s face in front of him.

“Cloud,” the man answered and for the first time, his gaze dropped from Sephiroth’s face and instead he was looking at Zack. “My name is Cloud Strife. And we need your help.”

[leonawriter]

A quick (or... not so quick...) read on Genesis.

When it comes to characters like Genesis, and people not knowing how to write him - I honestly don’t mind or care if you’ve hardly ever written for him or someone else like him before. I don’t care if you think you’re doing an awful job, even. If you think ‘wow, I know hardly anything about him’. You don’t have to be this deeply involved with the character as I am!

But all I ask for, all I care about, is that you give him the same respect you give any other character. 

Not just make him into some two-dimensional cutout based on ‘is extra, loves LOVELESS and apples, causes issues for other characters, creates Copies and overrides the free will of people in order to do this, killed his parents’.

Look at his motivations. Attempt to understand how he’s seen by not just Zack and the rest of Shinra, but also how the residents of Banora (his family and childhood home) saw him, how Hollander manipulated him, and how he sees each one of these people.

He might be a dramatic asshole who creates almost all of the problems in the entire game, but he’s also not the source of those problems! Like, seriously. It might be easy to blame him for everything, but he is a victim like so many others. He’s just... he has a bad habit of acting out rather than thinking first.

As basic fact:

He was the first subject of the Jenova Project to be born, and is later referred to by both Hollander and Hojo as a ‘failure’. 

He’s rash, impulsive, and reckless, as seen in the flashback fight with Angeal and Sephiroth. The Japanese script highlights this, even, with Angeal warning him against such behaviour. He’s also got obvious temper issues.

He thinks of himself as learned, educated; despite being popular, LOVELESS is also clearly much like the Shakespeare of Midgar, if not Gaia. A book published based on his own studies of the play by his fan group/s seemed to do well, which is a strong hint that he was quite good at this kind of thinking, as well as compiling data; at least for literary pursuits.

If it’s fact that he found out that he was suffering from a morbid disease such as degradation through Hollander and that he chose to turn on Shinra for it, then he clearly begins at this point to hate Shinra (as evidenced by “Shinra lapdogs!”) and distrust anything to do with the company. His actions in response to this cannot be excused, but given how Barret, Tifa, as well as Cloud and others are pretty much doing the same thing in defying Shinra in the main game? The difference is 'who is doing this’ and ‘how are they doing it’, not ‘what are they doing’.

Hollander is shown onscreen using manipulative tactics to ensure Genesis’ cooperation. Multiple times. Given that until Modeoheim Genesis seemed to be unaware that Hollander could not cure his degradation, he was blatantly being used for furthering Hollander’s own ends. Genesis is still willing to go to any length necessary to get that cure, so this does not excuse his actions, but the fact that he was being manipulated and used does explain them.

Number two as well as the previous two points are relevant to the fact that when he went to Banora, it is highly unlikley that he was thinking clearly, and the revelations he had been subjected to were to mean that his ability to use reason was gravely impaired. Therefore his main thought process would indeed be along the lines of ‘these people betrayed me, and are a danger to me, as I believe them to be in Shinra’s employ’, whether it was true or not. As stated before, this helps to explain his actions, not excuse them.

Related to the previous, it is clear that if he was able to develop that manner of belief regarding his parents, who canon says had been supporting him and the Ultimania has said that ‘they would not mind deceiving Shinra for the sake of their son’, then there were some grave misunderstandings and/or miscommunications going on.

It certainly appears that once Genesis has had an idea, he will not let go of it until that idea or dream has been realised. See: the idea of somehow beating Sephiroth, the desire for a cure, the hope that Sephiroth’s S-cells would be that cure, the dream of sharing a Banora White with Sephiroth. The last of which was first brought up when he was a child, before he went to join SOLDIER. It can be taken from this that he is incredibly stubborn. He has a one track mind. 

I feel like there is significant canonical evidence to suggest that he isn’t just pure ego; a great deal of how he presents himself is most likely a front. I say this because of:

a) his love of drama, and how much drama he puts into every meeting (suggesting a theatrical background, or interest)

b) he seems far more concerned with appearances and the need to be recognised as a hero than Angeal, from the same town and age group, and while some of this may come from his love of the play (which tbh is suggestive in and of itself, that he has a bigger relationship with a fictional work than other people), but it may also have to do with a desire to be seen and recognised for himself

c) from the very first time he is shown onscreen, there have been hints and clues in his speech that strongly suggest that he sees himself as a ‘monster’. And that ‘monsters have neither dreams, nor honour’. Which is to say, nothing to live nor die for, in the not good sense. It really begs the question if, at some point, he asked himself “for what reason am I still alive?”.

d) the entire reason he and Angeal were brought up in Banora was because the two of them were deemed ‘failures’. Hojo later calls them “Hollander’s freak show”. Hollander himself refers to Genesis as a failure, and Angeal as perfection. Neither of the scientists were seen to treat either of the Project G SOLDIERs as people. This would have a toll on anyone’s self-esteem and self-confidence in themself as a person with a right to live.

Related to a previous point, but I would not be at all surprised if he would have gone about things in a completely different manner had he been given a means to be cured far earlier, and not from Hollander, or Hojo. He does, after all, appear to simply stop once he reaches Banora; we sadly do not know what he would have done afterwards because fucking Deepground, man.

All of this would come together to form someone who wants to appear in control and confident, yet who struggles with self-worth and doubt. Ironically, this would compliment the Ultimania timeline of the three of them being approximately 20 years old when CC begins - they are young adults who want to seem more in control of their lives than they are, and they have no actual clue what they’re doing.

Yes, his entire story is full of asshole moves, high drama that’s actually so very extra and completely unnecessary, and ‘congratulations, you just made things ten times worse’ moments. 

But he has complex emotional motivations regarding all of his actions, too, and even if some of those are going to be uncomfortable, some others are going to be ones that can be sympathetic as well, and it’s canon that he at least wishes to become a true hero as of the end of Banora (it’s clarified in the Ultimania), which makes him comparable in this aspect at least to Barret, who only realises later on that some of his actions caused a great deal more collateral harm through his desire to hurt Shinra back out of revenge,  than the good he had intended.

The way I tend to write him? 

Someone who is dramatic, who has both certain autistic as well as certain ADHD traits, who has low empathy and who can’t be bothered to put the energy into doing things if they don’t concern him directly, and who has been burned by being controlled and manipulated by too many people, yet who retains his own pride. Give him a good reason (personal, selfish, prove someone wrong, it’s what his Goddess wants) to be a good person, and he’ll try. Give him no reason, he won’t bother.

[goddessofroyalty]

(1/?) Sephiroth Does Not Know how to flirt, at this rate, he is never getting a date with Cloud. And he didn't even kill his mom this time around! (oh, this could be Shinra's midwife stuff!) I love that the kids are about as arrogant and sure of themselves as Sephiroth was pre-Nibelheim. Yes, let's join the megacorp so powerful that only a literal Calamity from the Sky dwarfed it as the greatest threat to the planet, no biggie. Also, they noticing Uncle Zack first... they never knew but he is

(2/?) still family T.T... and then they make eye contact with Parental Unit 2 and All Thing Descent Into Hell. I feel Sephiroth would also freak, - with deepground being a thing can you blame him, oh god what if he finds out about deepground while trying to find out Where. The kids surely know - it's part of the family saga (and it isn't funny how they have SO MUCH SHIT on Shinra?). Now, that'd be interesting, maybe that's the closest he gets to going Dark Side in that timeline. And Hojo is

(3/?) around making everything worse, as always. When you mentioned Nibelheim I was like 'yeah!, visiting the grandmas (two of three!)' but then it occured to me that they have NEVER had to handle flesh-and-blood Jenova's mental powers, and that could be... bad. Also Dad Is Coming and Wants Answer, is Uncle Zack even there with him this time, what do we do, oh! let's set everything on fire! And aunt Aerith coming to pick them up and leaving a huge mess behind... nice. 

Does Sephiroth even realise he’s flirting? Or does he think he’s just having small talk with Cloud by telling him he knows exactly what their future children will look like?

I do very much think the triplets inherited Sephiroth’s arrogance. They feel themselves a tad untouchable. Probably because of how a lot of people treated them (considering clearly somehow related to Sephiroth + children of one of the heroes who saved the planet). So, yeah, they don’t see a problem with joining Shinra in the past - probably thinking that if shit does go bad they can just reveal some of the backroom shitfuckery that goes on there and bolt during the chaos that would result.

Sephiroth is... yeah... a bit thrown by the three and how much they look like him. Which is why he decides he has to figure out who they are and where they come from. Because the answer to that might be a big threat to Shinra/Sephiroth himself. And it doesn’t help that the three possibly keep leading him to different in-play conspiracies to keep him away from figuring out the truth about them. Just... every time they do he eventually realises that, yes, bad, but not their origin.

Yeah Jenova flesh and blood would be a new experience for them. And probably part of the reason they almost pre-emptively burn the place down. They can hear her and she seems to be making sense? But they know that’s a bad thing and dad is coming and will probably be more susceptible to her and okay they’re just gonna’ torch the place and hope she goes down with it.

Which ends with them looking very sheepish with a very confused Sephiroth AND Vincent on the burnt rubble of Shinra Mansion. And honestly they’re kind of glad Aerith shows up then because they don’t think they can dig themselves out of this one.

[sephinova]

Fall Into The Sky

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Summary: Jenova’s purpose in life was to cause suffering and destruction, that’s all she had ever known. But as her fondness for Sephiroth grows stronger with each passing day a new purpose is born.

Prequel To: ‘What Is Love?’

Pairing: Sephiroth/Jenova

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Somewhat incestuous pairing, fluff.

Word Count: 1981

Notes: This could be one of the last fanfictions that I post online because of that horrible EU Article 13 legislation that might fully pass next year unless it miraculously gets rejected and if it passes it’ll be illegal for me to post my fanfics and possibly do any sort of fandom related stuff online... I’ll have no choice but to leave Tumblr, AO3, etc. But on a happier note, I’ve decided that this characterization of Jenova is separate from my main headcanons of her though they do share some things in common. I hope to write a sequel to this fanfic before the end of the year if my brain decides to cooperate, though I’m nervous about writing it as I’ve NEVER written anything like it before. O////O       

You can also read this on AO3.

The moon shined brightly in the night sky surrounded by countless twinkling stars illuminating Jenova and the surrounding grassy field in its gentle glow.

It has been too long since I last sailed this vast ocean of stars.

The Calamity stared at the limitless sky walking towards the moon as though it were beckoning her.

Long, long ago she journeyed the cosmos from planet to planet bringing fear, suffering and death to all manner of life that dwelled on them and once she corrupted those planets Lifestream she would use them to travel to the next and repeat the cycle.

She stopped, using her shapeshifting abilities she adjusted her tentacles and disfigured wings so she could comfortably lie down. When they were adapted enough to her liking she lied down on the silky grass.

With nothing obstructing her view she was filled with the sensation she was about to fall into the starry abyss. She grabbed the grass as if to stop herself from falling, how thrilling it would be to fall and leave this planet behind, but...

I want to stay a while longer.

Ever since Sephiroth and herself had returned from the Lifestream her son wanted to postpone their objective of corrupting the planet. At first, Jenova wasn't pleased about the suspension but as time passed, she grew to like it. She got to know Sephiroth better and her fondness for him grew stronger with each passing day. She never would have thought she would become attached to a human infused with her cells but he was different, he was her son and so much more she couldn't put into words, the mere thought of never seeing him again was unbearable. Her chest began to ache.

Why do I feel this way?

''Mother.''

The deep yet gentle tone of Sephiroth's voice that he reserved only for Jenova broke her train of thoughts, her aching replaced by flutterings in her belly. She had become so caught up in her own little world she hadn't picked up on his presence. Footsteps softened by the grass came closer and closer to The Calamity until he came into her sight. She greeted him with a smile.

''It's been nearly six hours since you left, I was starting to worry.'' Sephiroth spoke as he knelt beside his mother.

Six hours... has it been that long?

''My apologies, I had not realised I had been away for that long.'' Jenova apologised.

''It's alright, Mother. As long as you're safe I don't mind.''

''You need not worry, I can take care of myself.''

Sephiroth nodded. ''I know.''

Jenova couldn't help but mentally chuckle to herself, he often worried about her safety considering she was one of the most powerful entities on the planet more than capable of defending herself and yet she had done the same for him before now. But why would she have to? He was strong enough to take care of himself.

Illogical.

The One-Winged Angel sat down beside Jenova. ''Magnificent. I can see why you enjoy star-gazing so much.'' Sephiroth said in awe.

''Indeed. I travelled among these stars for aeons.'' Jenova agreed.

''And someday you will again, with me by your side.''

For several minutes they watched the stars, in a blink of an eye, a shooting star flew across the night sky. Jenova sensed a noticeable change in Sephiroth's mood.

Negativity.

''I'm sorry, Mother... I have failed you...''

The Calamity narrowed her eyes at his words.

Failed?

''...If it weren't for my failings we would be on our way to a new planet.'' Sephiroth admitted lowering his head and clenching his fists. If he was nothing more than a puppet she would have been disappointed and disposed of him of his repeated incompetence without a second thought, but strangely, she wasn't displeased with him.

''Do not be hard on yourself, Sephiroth, for I have too, failed.'' Jenova confessed sitting upright.

Surprised by her confession he turned his head in her direction.

''I failed when I first arrived on this planet and many other times before. What matters is that we do not surrender to defeat and eventually we will succeed.''

Admitting her failures and expressing genuine encouragement? Never had The Calamity done such a thing until now. She was once too proud to admit her defeats to anyone and the only times she showed encouragement was to her puppets to carry out her will as a means to manipulate them.

''You're not displeased with me?''

''No.'' She answered shaking her head.

Sephiroth sighed in relief, a smile tugging at his lips, unclenching his fists. ''You're too kind to me, Mother.''

Jenova smiled, pleased to have eased her son's negativity. She gazed down at the grass where Sephiroth's bare hand rested, it wasn't often she saw his hands gloveless. Curious, she touched the back of his hand. His skin was smooth and warm to the touch, she could feel the pleasant resonance of his cells against her hand calling out to her. He presented his palm to her, she caressed it, his hand was large and fingers long and slender.

Why is this so pleasant?

The One-Winged Angel put his hand over her's, softly stroking her hand in return. They continued caressing each other until they were palm to palm, fingers entwining. Their eyes met, Sephiroth shifted closer to Jenova, her heart began to race.

Why does he have this effect on me?

Unsure of what to do Jenova turned her head away to the heavens.

''Am I making you feel uncomfortable?'' Sephiroth asked concern evident in his voice.

''No. Being with you like this feels very good, I just do not know what to do.'' Returning her gaze to him.

''We can continue star-gazing if that's what you want?'' Sephiroth suggested.

''Yes, I would like that.'' Jenova agreed nodding slightly.

An idea came to mind at the mention of one of her favourite pastimes she remembered that thrilling sensation before her son arrived.

''Lie down.'' The Calamity softly instructed.

Still holding his mother's hand Sephiroth did as he was told and she did the same beside him.

''Keep your eyes to the sky and do not look away. Do you experience the sensation as though you are about to fall?''

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes in concentration. ''I can't say that I do.''

''Try to imagine that you can and listen to my voice. With your free hand hold onto the grass...''

They both grasped a tuft of grass.

''...Gravity has reversed and all that is keeping us from falling is holding onto the grass, if we let go we can leave this planet behind and start anew, we will be free to go wherever we please, explore the countless stars and planets...''

Jenova glanced at Sephiroth, his expression peaceful. It pleased her that he liked her little fantasy.

''...Sephiroth, will you fall into the sky with me?''

''Yes, Mother, let's leave this world behind.''

''Then let go.''

Letting go of the grass Jenova could almost feel herself being pulled into the sky, she felt her son squeezing her hand slightly as though to keep her from separating away from him, she squeezed his hand in return.

Falling.

''We are falling faster and faster...''

Jenova couldn't help but grin at the quiet laugh that escaped Sephiroth.

''...We have broken through the planet's atmosphere, we are free.'' She announced a soft giggle escaping her.

Abruptly, Sephiroth stood up, his wing burst from his back, black feathers scattering into the air.

''Mother, let's fall into the sky!'' The One-Winged Angel exclaimed offering his hand to her.

Jenova gladly took his hand helping her up on her feet. She readjusted her wings in preparation to take flight.

''Yes, let's.'' And with that, they ascended.

They soared higher and higher into the sparkling heavens, the cool wind howled in their ears and rushed through their long silver manes. Though it wasn't the same as falling The Calamity appreciated her son's thoughtfulness and it certainly was far more thrilling than laying on the ground daydreaming.

We should stop within the next ten seconds She heard him say telepathically. As much as she wanted to keep going she knew they couldn't, counting down the seconds she savoured what little time they had left.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

They came to a sudden halt in midair. Jenova took in her surroundings. Her eyes roamed the world below covered in darkness except for the sea shimmering with the moon's distorted reflection and a far-off town's faint glowing lights made it almost feel as though they were in outer space.

Her gaze locked on Sephiroth who was admiring the glorious view, he radiated positivity that she had never seen or felt from him before, it delighted her knowing that she was the one responsible for his elation and he too was the cause of her's.

Is this what they call happiness?

No one or anything made The Calamity feel the way he did, her feelings incredibly powerful they consumed her and unrecognisable they were alien. As far back as she could remember the only purpose she had in life was to infect and destroy, as long she possessed the power to do so and was able to her life was complete or so she thought. But Sephiroth gave her a new kind of fulfilment and purpose to her life, she wanted to protect him and make him smile, a far cry from her original purpose.

Sephiroth's Mako slitted eyes met Jenova's pink. Captivated by his warm gaze, she moved closer to him until she almost closed the gap between them. She settled her hands on his broad shoulders not once tearing her gaze away from him. The One-Winged Angel brought his hand to her face, his fingers affectionately stroking her cheek. Ever so slowly he leaned his head towards her's his eyes half-lidded, she closed her eyes in waiting. His warm and soft lips met her's in the gentlest of kisses.

Jenova's blood instantly rushed to her face, her heart pounding in her breast and her stomach fluttering uncontrollably so delightful these sensations were she felt as though she was about to burst. How was it possible for such a simple act of physical contact to give such strong reactions?

How wonderful.

Sephiroth broke away from the kiss, Jenova reopened her eyes. His face flushing red from shame.

''Mother... I-I-'' He stuttered, realising what he had done.

Just as The One-Winged Angel was about to pull away from his mother she cupped his face with her hands and smiled at him, her eyes filled with reassurance and affection. Relieved, he smiled back, all traces of shame vanished. She tenderly kissed him in return, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and her tentacles around his waist. Sephiroth melted into the kiss, embracing her the gap between them finally closed. Gradually they descended back down to the Planet.

Jenova couldn't comprehend why she was drawn to him, fond of him and longed to hold and kiss him, these feelings and actions were illogical and inconvenient to her original purpose, obstacles that needed to be overcome... but she didn't want to overcome them, she didn't want these wonderful feelings to disappear and revert back to before she met her dear son.

Breaking away from their kiss, The Calamity rested her head on Sephiroth's shoulder.

''I'm sorry that I suspended corrupting the planet, I promise that someday we will sail the cosmos to a new planet and start anew but I need some time until then. I hope you understand, Mother.'' Sephiroth promised.

Jenova thought his reasoning for why he delayed their goal to be nonsensical, however, she no longer minded.

''There is no need to rush, we have all the time in the world...''

...because all I desire is just to be with you.

[ghostofnibelheim]

azure-steel​:

Cloud didn’t know what to expect in that moment; ignorance perhaps, a total dismissal to a musing he believed he had every right to, to know the truth of why he was here, why this man had gone to such great lengths to keep him alive.

       To save him.

And given that moment of pregnant impenetrable silence, so thick, and stifling it was almost deafening, the blond feared that was exactly all he would receive; mere infuriating silence.

The audacity of it all, Strife realises then, is the pinnacle of his anger towards this man. To have taken so much, to have taken it all and to have this event hanging over him like an eternal debt he would never be able to repay.

How dare he.       HOW DARE HE!

To think that Cloud would rather be dead than be fettered to the hip of this bastard who sought to slaughter everything in his path, and for what end? Even now, he didn’t really know. He didn’t really want to know. But it all became so very clear with the next few words which fell from the former hero’s lips, like the crackling ignition of candlelight casting its glare into an ancient room, the destruction of those shadows penetrating deeper than any blade could ever hope to reach.

Because Cloud could read nothing within those words other than raw, brutal honesty.

                                            ‘I couldn’t let them have you’

That one revelation had the world around him dissolve out of view, where the twittering of morning song birds died in the trees, where the sunlight filtering through the canopy withdrew and plunged this young infantryman into a state of endless darkness, until all which remained were he and Sephiroth. Though he heard the man speaking after the fact, Cloud already knew as much, his weakened state was enough for him to realise that not all was well, that changes had taken place during his time submerged in the pod. He could see the ocean of green every time he closed his eyes, could see the gazes of the many staring in at him from the other side.

Could still hear his own thoughts begging those many eyes to just let him die.

What Cloud hadn’t cared to consider until now, however, was that Sephiroth had let slip that he too were a victim of that circumstance, that he’d been there for all that time - however long it may have been-                  -’You’ve gotten taller’-                                 ��                     - and possibly witnessed everything he and Zack had been subjected to while buried in the deepest recessed of the abandoned Shinra Mansion. The fact that he was only just now coming to know he’d been in Nibelheim all that time, amidst the ruin and ashes left behind in Sephiroth’s wake…

… It made him feel sick to his stomach. And all he can do in that moment is sit there, gaze lowered to the other man’s feet simply attempting to digest it all, swallowing it down like a bad meal and feeling it settling in his guts like a brick.

How had they escaped? Had he taken more lives just to be standing there right then with his distant forlorn expression and a young weak boy tethered to his side? Where was Zack… was he even still alive?

More questions, more dizzying mountains Cloud had no hope of climbing, and in that moment he’s beginning to wish he hadn’t even asked. But what happened now, now that he knew what he did?

Cloud’s eyes are drawn to the blade beside him then - Zack’s blade - and he’s forced to realise again, that he’d been given a second chance at life, he would be a fool not to pursue it. He makes a grab for it, surprising himself this morning with how much strength was now stored in his thighs as he uses the buster to pull himself to his feet. The motion was not without effort, but a noticeable improvement from the day before which required far less sweat and tears and only the soft huffing grunt as he stands there once again grasping at that bound handle.

“Let me take the weight again.” he says though not without an air of determination hanging in his tone.

After mentioning the brunet’s name, Sephiroth had fallen into silence. He knew there was more he could say. More he should say, in fact. But everything in his mind ran in leaps and bounds, ripples of memories and thoughts blending and crossing each other like ripples in a pond under a heavy rain. Things he wanted to believe, but wasn’t sure he could, and others he could believe, but refused to.

Chosen one, monster, hero, specimen…

Where did the truth lie in all this? Where did it even begin?

The awareness of the extended pause he had made made him expect to be pressed with more questions, but instead, what came was but a confident request.

                              “Let me take the weight again.”

He wasn’t sure what trick of the wind or imagination caused him to hear that voice and believe it to be Zack’s, convincingly enough that his head actually turned to look with a snap and a blink, surprise peeking behind the cold depths of green eyes.

But no, the one standing and holding onto the buster was undoubtedly the infantryman and he alone. He’d gotten back on his feet without him even noticing. And looking at him, waiting, just as he had been a few minutes earlier, for Sephiroth to get back to the present and prepare to move. Roles reversed in such a harmonious manner, it had a bit of poetry to it.

Almost meek in response, he was quick to steel himself back to his usual stoic composure and walk up to him, slower, taking time to glance down at the blond’s legs, gauging their stability to the eye. After last time, it was inevitable to have second thoughts on the idea of burdening him with the heavy sword again.

But he’d asked so convincingly, and hadn’t it been Sephiroth himself to tell him the sword was his to carry now? To go back on his word was not something he was inclined to do. Not as SOLDIER, and not as… whatever it was that he was now.

So he grabbed onto the handle, the same warning glance as the day before, removing it from the ground. Giving the blond a moment to steady his stance, before sliding the blade back in the holster on his back.

Differently this time however, he took greater care in slowly releasing the weight from his grip and onto the blond. His free hand had come up to push against the pauldron on the infantryman’s shoulder, supporting against the pressure of the blade in anticipation of any initial stumbling.

[asreoninfusion]

I’m late, I’m a disorganised mess, I wanted so badly to participate in Sefikura week but I’ve had exams and now been thrown straight back into uni and it’s kicking my ass already and I’ve only got like a week to do all the stuff for my cosplay for Kupocon and— *breathes*

Anyway, this is just a very rough scribble that I wrote at midnight. I really wish I’d had time to prepare and could do something better for my boys. D’: But I will try as much as possible to write at least a little something for as many days as I can. Sorry it’s not much. orz

Sefikura Week Day One: Showing Up Unexpectedly

Thank Hel that the room was so dimly lit.

Cloud nearly stumbled over the edge of a sofa in his attempts to rapidly back into an even darker corner, glancing every way other than at the man who had caught his attention. As if somehow not making eye contact meant that he wouldn’t be noticed.

The absolute last thing Cloud had wanted was to run into anyone he knew. Not here. Well, he never really wanted to run into anyone he knew in general – most of the people he knew were the guys from either his old unit or his current one, and with the exception of a few straight up assholes, they were decent people. Cloud just didn’t like unexpected company when he hadn’t had time to prepare for social interaction. It was a little awkward.

Running into someone he knew in a BDSM club would be very awkward.

He’d checked and everything. On the website for this kind of thing, he’d gone through the profiles of all the people who’d put down they’d be attending. Not in a creepy or stalkerish way – at least he hoped it wasn’t creepy – but just to take a quick look and determine they were no one Cloud knew.

He was fine, no one he recognised. There had been just a small handful of profiles with no pictures or information, but fair enough; Cloud’s was pretty damn barren too.

Except that one of those empty profiles apparently belonged to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth. Who was in a BDSM club. And honestly that probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Cloud, the man kind of screamed leather kink just looking at him, and there were moments amongst their many conversations where Zack would drop a hint or Sephiroth would say something and Cloud couldn’t help but wonder—

Mako green eyes glanced over in Cloud’s direction, and Cloud’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach.

For a moment, Cloud had hoped maybe he’d got it wrong. He thought it was Sephiroth, but the man was wearing some kind of tight, shirtless top with a hooded cowl that hid his hair and shadowed his features. A few strands of pale hair escaped loosely around the sides of his face; pale, but not necessarily silver. Cloud had thought he’d recognised those leather pants, the fit of them (maybe he’d spent too long staring at Sephiroth’s ass), but again, that was no evidence.

Those eyes, though. There was no fucking mistake.

And now Sephiroth was walking over to him, and Cloud had no explanation for what he was doing there.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth greeted, voice a low rumble. He sounded surprised to see Cloud there too, but not put out about it.

“Don’t tell Zack about this,” was the first thing Cloud blurted instinctively.

“Hm? If you insist, I will not mention it. But what are you embarrassed about?”

Cloud ran a hand through his hair. The way Sephiroth stood, his body language – it was as if they’d just run into each other in passing in the corridors in the ShinRa building, casual and open. That felt weird, given the situation.

“Zack would never let me live it down if he knew. I don’t—I don’t even really know what I’m doing here or if I’m even into this stuff, I was just curious.”

“Curious enough to come alone to a club?” Sephiroth said with a little tilt of his head, eyeing Cloud with equal curiosity.

“I, uh. Um. I guess.” Cloud could feel his face heating up. He’d never felt overly comfortable sharing personal details with anyone, never mind admitting to having kinky tendencies to his goddamn crush.

His crush who apparently had kinky tendencies as well and seemingly regularly attended one of the more popular and highly rated BDSM clubs below the plate. (Cloud figured it was a regular thing based on how casually confident Sephiroth appeared; and Cloud could tell the difference between when Sephiroth was just acting and when he was actually comfortable by now. There was a big difference in his demeanour.)

“Is this your first time here, then?” Sephiroth asked.

Cloud had half-wondered if Sephiroth just tolerated him hanging around because they were both friends with Zack, but... Sephiroth seemed genuinely interested. Almost pleased to see Cloud.

“Yeah. Pretty obvious, huh.”

“Do you have anyone to show you around?”

Cloud shook his head. He was way too out of his depth to even thing about approaching anyone; silent observation was more his tactic for easing into a new situation.

Sephiroth gave a low hum. “If you like, I would be happy to show you the ropes.”

“…was that a goddamn pun?”

Apparently not, given the way Sephiroth blinked blankly. A small smile twisted the corners of his mouth as he realised. “Not an intentional one.” His eyes narrowed, hitting Cloud with a heavy-lidded gaze that made his stomach flip. “But I am happy to show the ropes literally as well.”

Cloud didn’t know what the hell he was getting himself in for, but.... fuck it. He decided he just might take Sephiroth up on that offer.

“I’d like that.”

[vskpop]

My 30 favourite songs of 2017

YouTube playlist ⋅ Spotify playlist

30. Don’t Recall – KARD

I’m upset with myself that last year I didn’t put Oh NaNa in my best of 2016 list because, reader, it was: it ended up as my second most played song of 2017. I didn’t listen to the follow-up Don’t Recall quite as much, but it was the song that cemented my love for KARD’s hip-hop/dancehall/pop jumble. Whoever is selecting their songs has such a flair for dance songs with a melancholy vibe, and Don’t Recall is unparalleled so far. It’s still too rare to get proper idol groups that are mixed gender, and it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. I’m so pleased that international success has been enough to keep KARD alive, even though their numbers are still abysmal at home. Live: M Countdown 17/07 – Yu Huiyeol's Sketchbook 30/08 Other songs of note: Rumor – Trust Me

  29. Heaven and Earth – Laboum

I went through a phase in which I found Laboum adorable, and then for some reason I stopped liking them as much (the reason is that ZN gets on my nerves, I’m sorry, I know). I still listened to their album Miss This Kiss for the nostalgia effect – and because lead single Hwi Hwi is damn good – and I just fell in love with 천지차이. As far as I can tell, it was never performed live, or at least not in venues where it was filmed. I hope that this kind of song keeps being given to them, and that eventually it becomes their lead single. They deserve to take a break from the cuteness. Other songs of note: Hwi Hwi

   28. Tomorrow, Today – JJ Project

I realise that I already said it when JJ Project made their comeback a few months ago, but Bounce is a modern classic in the trashiest way possible. The styling and sound that Jinyoung and JB went for in 2017 are completely different from their origins, but just as great. Tomorrow, Today is what I love about GOT7’s Fly with a dash of my favourite JYP group, DAY6. They get to show off the vocal skills they developed since we last saw them as a duo and, most of all, their range of wistful looks. Also, I love that for once they didn’t have to sing about love and how right a girl is, but rather about having to face tough decisions as they grow up. Live: M Countdown 17/08 – Genie showcase Other songs of note: Coming Home – On & On

  27. Palette – IU ft. G-Dragon

I don’t know why, I’ve never been a huge fan of IU until I watched Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo and found a sudden connection with her that I had never felt before. Her most recent album has helped bringing together my love for actress IU with singer IU. In an industry where being honest and clever is nobody’s priority, she manages to sound real and in control of what she does without abandoning her pop roots. I’m not sure many artists would manage to make an introspective song sound so pleasant and calm. Live:  Inkigayo 23/04 – Music Bank 28/04 Other songs of note: Can’t Love You Anymore ft. Oh Hyuk

  26. Archangels Of The Sephiroth – Stellar

If there had to be a swan song for Stellar, I’m glad it was Archangels Of The Sephiroth. With two members having already left and the other two on the way out, this was 100% the last single they put out with the formation we knew and loved, and we can’t even blame them for leaving. It’s a fact that this doesn’t have anything to do with their previous concepts, but I love the pseudo-satanic, pseudo-mystical vibe and I would have loved for them to keep going on this path. Archangels Of The Sephiroth gets more interesting with every listen, and the video is creepier with each view (bathtub of blood anyone?). As the song says, we really did love them till the end. Live: Inkigayo 09/07 – Music Bank 07/07

  25. Signal – Twice

Signal is by far the best Twice song ever – it’s interesting, kind of weird, and not necessarily super cute. Obviously the majority of the public hated it, and back to Likey we went. I love the bassline pushed right at the front, the dissonant harmonies, the fact that some of the mute members finally got to sing. Of everything they’ve released in 2017 (four comebacks is a lot for anyone) this is the only choice that doesn’t feel safe and completely within their sexy baby wheelhouse. They even get to have a proper storyline in the video, which is a rarity. Live:  Show Music Core 03/06 – Inkigayo 21/05 Other songs of note: Knock Knock – 24/7

  24. Wake Me Up – Taeyang

It’s kind of sad to think that this could be the last Taeyang single for years and years. At least it’s a ballad, so we will be able to all cry together when we listen to it after he’s enlisted.This album felt properly his – something that he created and composed, rather than something that was given to him to perform. Not that he’s ever lacked emotion, but Wake Me Up has a depth that is only second to Eyes Nose Lips. Live:  Inkigayo 20/08 – Fantastic Duo 03/09 Other songs of note: White Night – So Good

  23. Move – Taemin

This is possibly (definitely) the sexiest song of 2017. Taemin has such an eye for taking trends from the West and making them current for Korean audiences, as well as constantly changing his image while staying true to himself. I can’t get enough of the elegant electropop of Move, with the bass and the voice parts creating one of the sexiest musical combinations of 2017. Taemin carries a song that could have been much less interesting in the hands of an artist with less expressiveness. I don’t know if it’s the thought of the choreography, but this song always makes me blush a little. Live: Seoul Fashion Week – M Countdown 19/10 Other songs of note: – Rise – Day and Night

  22. Untitled 2014 – G-Dragon

If a ballad from Taeyang was expected, it certainly wasn’t from G-Dragon. I’m not sure how much truth there is the gimmick of titling the album with his real name and saying that he was finally stepping away from his persona, but Untitled 2014 feels painfully raw and real. Whatever happens from now on – after all the members of Bigbang enlist and eventually return to music – this album and this song will be a milestone in his career, and the perfect summary of what he’s done in the past eleven years. Live: ACT III M.O.T.T.E in Taipei 08/10 Other songs of note: Bullshit

  21. Change Up – Seventeen

You could take any random combination of Seventeen members and they would be able to put up an incredible show for you. This has been proven over and over by them, but I think that the Change Up subunit – the leaders of the standard subunits – has proven this definitively. I wouldn’t have thought of this song for them in a million years, yet they perform it convincingly and make it the catchiest Seventeen song of this year. Also, who knew that Woozi could have such swagger? Live: Mnet showcase Other songs of note: Don’t Wanna Cry – Clap – Habit – Rocket

  20. Rollin’ – Brave Girls

Every time I say “tropical house”, I add “drink!”. It has been so omnipresent in k-pop this year that it has been impossible to avoid. I skipped over Rollin’ the first few times I stumbled upon it because there were enough marimbas in my life, but I gave into the hype and this ended up being one of the most played songs of my year. As of last year, Brave Girls have an entirely new line-up – and yes, they did deserve a new name – and I hope that they will be the new bastion of sexy concepts now that there is no real mid-point between Laysha and cute concepts.  Live: M Countdown 03/09 – Show Champion Ep. 219

19. Never – Produce 101/Wanna One

This technically doesn’t count as a Wanna One song, but I’m pretty sure that if there is a song that symbolizes Produce 101 and the rise of the nation’s boy group, it’s Never . Written by Hui of Pentagon, another of my favourite groups, this song starts quietly, and slowly adds more elements until it gets to one of the best chorus drops of 2017. It made me wish that they had kept it for the final group instead of using it during the programme, and I wasn’t surprised at all when it was re-recorded by the final formation. Live: Wanna One version at KCON LA Other songs of note:  Energetic – Burn It Up

  18. Singing In The Rain – Jinsoul (LOONA)

Looking at the sheer amount of material that pre-debut group Loona have released this year gives me palpitations. A million members and subunits filled each month of 2017, and almost all the releases have been excellent – overall, they probably were the best group of the year. Jinsoul’s Singing In The Rain was my favourite song released – not by far, though, seeing the overall quality. I was especially impressed with how they managed to have Jinsoul sing and rap seamlessly, and how the song manages to be sexy without being inappropriate for a very young girl. And, of course, it’s a banger. Other songs of note: Loona released dozens of songs this year, so this is just a tiny selection of my favourites. Eclipse (Kim Lip) – new (Yves) – Sweet Crazy Love (Odd Eye Circle) – Loonatic (Odd Eye Circle) – Sonatine (1/3)

  17. Body Talk – Red Velvet

To me, this is one of the best songs by Red Velvet ever. Only a company like SM could waste it and have it  relegated to the b-sides of their mini albums; it’s a fantastic mid-tempo track that showcases the best vocal skills of the group, and allows them to sound about fifteen years older than title track Rookie. At least, in the arc of their three thousand 2017 comebacks, they managed to go from the childish image that they had patented in 2016 to the sultrier “velvet” image they have abandoned ages ago, even if it’s still paired with a “red” song. Other songs of note: Peek-A-Boo – Red Flavour – You Better Know – Would You – Talk To Me

  16. Circle’s Dream – Subin (Dalshabet)

Dalshabet haven’t had the best luck in their career. Subin is yet another amazing soloist that was in a group when she released a song, and has now left the label and disbanded her girl group. Seeing her solo by itself, it’s actually had to imagine her as part of bubbly Dalshabet: she is sensual, allusive, and her music is weird and enthralling. I love her voice and I love the ideas she has for herself – ideas that are far removed from traditional k-pop. The elements of this song are few, but she manages to create such a clever repetitive, circular structure with them, echoing the themes of the lyrics and capturing the listener. Subin is technically a solo artist now, so I am hoping we will get to hear much more of this.

  15. Yes No Maybe – Suzy

What makes me mad about Yes No Maybe is that nobody heard it. I can’t imagine how well it would have done if the now officially defunct Miss A would have released it, instead of Suzy now that her popularity is entirely tied to her acting and advertising career. It’s also true that she has always been my favourite Miss A, so it was delightful to see her come out with a debut album that does something interesting and doesn’t package her as the sexy ingenue character that she’s had since the beginning of time. Yes No Maybe strikes the balance between being  Latin, dancey song and a more introspective pop piece. Unlike half of her former group, Suzy has signed a new contract with JYP. Here’s hoping she gets to do more excellent, slightly left-field pop music. Live: &Live

  14. A Girl Like Me – Gugudan

It is still surprising that I don’t find the awkward beeping samples in the song insufferable, but the truth is that I love the weirdness and how it’s amplified by the singing parts. I already knew in February that this would be one of my favourite concepts of the year, and it is: there aren’t enough songs about how great the girls are, as opposed to their love interest. It’s not female empowerment, but I have the feeling we can’t get much closer. I love it even more considering how terrible their following comeback was . Live:  Music Bank 03/03 – SBS Korea Music Festival

  13. Island – Winner

It goes without saying that Winner is my favourite group in current k-pop, and they can hardly do any wrong in my eyes. However, this entire year could have been a disaster: they had to come back from losing a member who was the main singer and composer for the group. Island has the tropical (drink!) elements of their 2017 hit Really Really, but it’s a bit less conventional, and the video is delightful and incredibly romantic. Live: Inkigayo 06/08 Other songs of note: Really Really

  12. As If It’s Your Last – BLACKPINK

While I find most complaints against YG idiotic, it is absolutely true that having Blackpink release one single song in an entire year is ridiculous. The only good thing is that the song was brilliant, and I’m still not bored of it after having seen it performed at least fifty times. When it came out I found it really frankensteiny, but at this point the structure seems perfectly reasonable and linear to me (Stockholm syndrome at its best). Live: SBS Gayo Daejun – Show Music Core 01/07 Other songs of note: So Hot (Wonder Girls remix)

  11. Cactus – A.C.E

Every year I end up falling in love with one rookie group that will probably not see their third birthday, and in 2017 it was the turn of kings of thighs A.C.E., who singlehandedly resurrected early 90’s eurodance with their debut single Cactus . It was the one of a kind title of their song that attracted me, the weirdness of the thigh dance that drew me in, and everything else that made me stay. They are great singers, charismatic performers and can stand the most high-intensity dance of 2017 without blinking. I am so attached to A.C.E (and Dreamcatcher, full disclosure) that I broke my promise to never watch a survival show again and I am following Mixnine for them. Live:  Music Bank 02/06 – Music Bank 26/05

  10. Dinosaur – AKMU

What I love about AKMU is that when they try different genres, they always put so much of them into the song: nobody else could sing Dinosaur apart from them. It’s so simple, yet so full of detail; it’s true that it has EDM elements, but it’s not even remotely a club song. I’m still shocked every time I hear Suhyun hit those dolphin-high notes. The Stranger-Things-y video is still one of the most beautiful releases of  this year. Live: Dingo Music Other songs of note: My Darling – Reality

  9. Beautiful – Monsta X

This is yet another song of a overcrowded production that I am totally in love with. The bleeps and bloops leave plenty of space for the members to show their skill – especially Kihyun, who could sing literally anything to me at this point. Just like All In , Beautiful feels like the refined version of the chaotic, loud concepts Monsta X began with. There are raps and aggressive parts, but they are striving for a higher concept than “street urchins” now, and it’s reflected in their music. Live: 2017 MAMA in Japan – Show Champion Ep. 226 Other songs of note: Dramarama –  Now or Never – Shine Forever – I’ll Be There

  8. Runaway – Pentagon

Pentagon have already done a lot for being a group that has debuted just over a year ago. Of all these releases, Runaway is my favourite without any doubt: for me it strikes the right balance between the trendy elements that Hui has been carrying over from his Produce 101 successes, and the rougher concepts that Pentagon had to begin with. I find it hooky without being too in your face, and moody without being full-on tragic. Live:  Inkigayo 03/12 – Inkigayo 26/11 Other songs of note:  Critical Beauty – Violet – Like This – Get That Drink

  7. Boy – EXID

EXID are my everything. I feel bad for choosing Boy as my favourite song they’ve produced this year, when Night Rather Than Day was such a classy, unusual choice for them and Boy is just another dance song. Unfortunately, it’s just monstrously catchy, and my love for it eclipses (get it?) everything else they’ve released. Live: M Countdown 13/04 – Show Champion ep. 224 Other songs of note: Night Rather Than Day – DDD

  6. Chase Me – Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher are my rookies of the year. After scrapping the cute concept and adding a couple of members, they spent twelve months delivering a series of metal-inspired, horror-themed comebacks that managed to showcase the members’ talents.  While all their singles are amazing, there is something special about Chase Me and its chorus, mixing hammering instrumentals and creepy falsettos. There is no doubt that the only way from here is up, and there is nothing gives me as much joy as a girl group with a non-cute concept being (relatively) successful. Much bigger groups and bigger companies have refrained from embarking on international tours but Dreamcatcher have left survival show Mixnine to go on one. I can’t wait to see what these queens do in 2018. Live: M Countdown 19/01 – Music Bank 03/02 Other songs of note: Fly High – Wake Up – Sleep Walking – Good Night – Lucky Strike (Maroon 5 cover)

  5. Love & Affection – Seohyun

Seohyun’s solo came and went almost unnoticed at the beginning of this year: it was smothered by Taeyeon’s releases and the inevitable run-up to SNSD’s tenth anniversary. It really saddens me to no end that, now that Seohyun has left SM Entertainment, she seems to be going for an acting career, when she is such an amazing vocalist with such unique colours. With even her lead single receiving little attention, there was no hope for her b-sides. But Love & Affection is a masterpiece, with a booming chorus and a surprise ending, and what I hope to see if she ever decides to make more music under her new label.

  4. I Would – DAY6

There is only one criticism that I have for JYP and DAY6: there must be something else they want to do that’s not singing about love and heartbreak in pretty conventional ways. For the rest, there are only good things to say about the 25 songs they put out this year. It was hard to pick just one song to put in the list, and to be honest there are two or three other candidates I feel kind of guilty for cutting out. Live: EBS Space 11/05 – Kiss The Radio 04/08 Other songs of note: DAY6 released 25 songs this year, so this is just a tiny selection of my favourites. Goodbye Winter – You Were Beautiful – How Can I Say – I Wait – Lean On Me

  3. Good Thing – NCT 127

Despite the complete chaos that surrounds NCT at all times, I keep loving most of their releases (except Cherry Bomb , which I hated): they were my #1 and #3 most played song on Spotify with Good Thing and Limitless respectively. I love Good Thing in itself, but I also wish that NCT didn’t keep circling around that pseudo hip-hop, trappy, appropriative concept they’ve been given a million times and they did something brighter, poppier, that sets them apart from the three hundred hip-hop concepts that are going around without slipping into Astro territory. Live: M Countdown 05/01 – Show Music Core 07/01 Other songs of note: Limitless – 0 Mile – Back 2 U (AM 01:27)

  2. Tendae – Bobby

In an excruciatingly adorable interview for MTV Japan, Bobby says that with his debut album he wanted to show that he can do more than rap, and reveal his romantic side. I had already become obsessed with Bobby’s sing-rapping a long time ago, so Love And Fall gave be nothing but joy. His lyrics show that he’s capable of putting complex emotions in words, and most of all he is also completely able to translate that in his singing. 텐데 is sweet, heartbreaking, sexy. Bobby is one of the best performers of his generation, if not the best. Other songs of note:  Runaway – In Love

  1. Gashina – Sunmi

If there is one thing that Sunmi has taught us this year, it’s that there is a life after girl group disbandments. She came back singing about heartbreak and vengeance with dark humour and double entendres, a super-sexy choreography and a vibe that couldn’t be more far from the current sugary girl group trends. Everything about Gashina is iconic, from the song itself to the lyrics to the costumes to the choreography. Sunmi was without any doubt the queen of 2017. Live: Inkigayo 10/09 aka the iconic genderswapped performance – MAMA 2017 ft Taemin – Inkigayo 27/08

[burningfairytales]

@harmonization hey! I’m finally done with your prompt, but when I tried replying to it and then save it to my drafts for editing purposes, it disappeared into the void. (Like, seriously. Tumblr ate it. It’s gone from my inbox, and my drafts do say +1 now, but it’s just - not there.) I feel like maybe it got away from me at some point, and that I might have missed the point of your prompt somewhere…. I really hope you still like it. Anyway - here it is:

Cloud is waiting for him, just outside the inn, when Zack returns from the mansion where Sephiroth is still holed up, refusing to speak to anyone.  

Having just been on patrol himself, he’s still wearing that gods awful helmet; the one that looks terrible on just about anyone, but somehow manages to be even more irritating when it’s Cloud wearing it. That, admittedly, has less to do with Cloud not being able to pull the look off - not that anyone could, mind you, not even Zack himself.

(It has everything to do with the fact that Zack just really kind of likes looking at Cloud’s face. It’s a good face, okay - all fine features, framed by that untameable hair, and eyes the colour of polished sea-stone.

And most importantly, it’s expressive - it’s always right there, whatever Cloud’s thinking, in the twitch of his lips, or the raise of an eyebrow, or the way he wrinkles his nose when he doesn’t like something. Zack’s keeping track of all his expressions; carefully catalogued in the corner of his mind that Cloud has somehow, without realising, claimed as his own.)

Cloud’s smoothing down the creases on his uniform before he spots Zack, and his breath comes out in puffs of smoke. His cheeks, from what Zack can make out under the offending piece of uniform, are pink.

“Zack,” he greets, “hey.”

“Hey yourself!” He bumps his fist against Cloud’s, and grins. “You still insist on wearing that thing?”

“Yeah.” It looks like Cloud might be biting the inside of his cheek, and Zack has to resist the urge to just grab the helmet and trash it. His fingers itch.

“You’re gonna be wearing that when we go meet your mom, too? You’ll give her a heart-attack.” He reaches out and pokes his shoulder.

“Oh, shut up.” Cloud swats his arm away, but at least he’s smiling. “I’ll take it off when we get there.”

Cloud starts walking, and Zack easily falls into step behind him, crossing his arms behind his head as they walk.

It’s well in the afternoon already; the sun’s long passed its zenith and is leaning down to kiss the mountaintops reaching out behind the village. It’s quiet too - just a bit like what he remembers Gongaga to be.

From here, Midgar, with its constant noise, feels a world away - machines whirring and pipes creaking and the chattering of busy people rushing up and down the streets - the sky tinted ever mako-green overhead.

Nibelheim’s streets are mostly empty, and, considering Zack spent his childhood just waiting for the day he’d get out of his village, finds he probably misses the city less than he should.

(With a twinge, he realises he hasn’t written home in a while. His parents must be worried. He’ll request leave, when they get back. They’ll be happy, when he comes to visit. Maybe he’ll even bring Cloud, if they get time off together - Zack’s seen his hometown, and it would be fun to show Cloud his own.

From one backwater expert to the other.)

“It’s cold,” Cloud states, breaking the blanket of silence that’s wrapped around them. “It’s probably going to snow later.”

Zack looks up at the sky, grey and blue, gradually growing orange at the horizon. “Snow? Really?”

Cloud nods. “It’s in the air. It probably won’t stick - it usually doesn’t. But yeah, I think you’ll get to see Nibelheim in its most glorious: grey and muddy and snow slush everywhere.”

“Huh.” Zack makes a contemplative sound. Then adds, grinning, “I look forward to it!”

There’s a hesitance in Cloud’s step he almost misses, lost in thought like that, but he does notice it, in the end. The way he’s walking slowly, in the way no infantryman really does, his feet almost hovering in the air for a split second before taking the next step.

Zack catches up to him in two big strides.

“What’s up?”

“Hm?” Cloud asks, and - yeah, there really must be something wrong, for Cloud to be distracted like that.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Zack bumps their shoulders together. The metal plates clink together with a metallic chime. “And not your usual brand of quiet. More like a worried kind of quiet.”

“My ‘usual brand of quiet,’ huh?” Cloud repeats, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “It’s nothing much, really. I’m okay.”

“But it’s still something,” Zack prods, “even if it’s nothing much.”

Cloud inclines his head, but says nothing.

Zack frowns.

“You don’t-” he starts. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I mean. But if I can help-”

“You’re helping.” Cloud tugs a strand of hair back under the helmet, and rearranges his scarf; his hand fingers playing with a thread that’s come loose that the edge. “You’re helping. I just- I’m just-”

“You’re nervous,” Zack realises. It’s a nervous tic, straightening his clothes like that. Everyone has them. SOLDIERs - everyone in the military is trained to look for them, in an opponent. A tell, a sign of weakness. Cloud hides his well, but Zack is attuned to the way Cloud shows emotions. He’s an open book, to those knowing how to read him, and Zack likes to think he’s good at it.

“Yeah.” His hand falls away and he bows his head, purposefully avoids meeting his eyes. It takes a moment before he speaks again. “I moved away to become a SOLDIER,” he says. His shoulders sag a little when he breathes out, and it looks like defeat. Zack doesn’t like it. “But I’m not. She’s not expecting a member of the infantry tonight. I don’t know how to face her.”

Zack rounds him, and places his hands on Cloud’s shoulders.

“Hey,” he says. “No. Listen, Cloud. Just because you aren’t a SOLDIER yet, doesn’t mean you’ll never be. You’ve still got years to go! You’re expecting too much of yourself. And comparing yourself to people like Sephiroth breeds misery. Believe me, I know.”

“I-”

“Nope. No ‘I’s and no ‘but’s. You’re gonna make SOLDIER, Cloud. As long as you hold onto your dreams and your honour, you’re gonna be just fine. You want to know how to face your mother? That’s how. You walk up to that door, with your head held high, and the conviction that you’ve got what it takes to get what you want. Because you do.”

“‘Dreams and honour’,” Cloud murmurs, and the corners of his mouth raise ever so slightly. He lays a hand on top of Zack’s where it still rests on his shoulder, and nods. “Yeah,” he says. “I can do that.”

  The atrocious helmet is in Cloud’s hands when he knocks on the door, and his fingers drum an irregular beat as they wait for an answer.

As it turns out, he’d told his mother about their visit in only the absolutely necessary information - namely ‘I’m coming to Nibelheim and will stop by when I have the time’ and then ‘I’m bringing a friend.’

At least Zack hopes Cloud had told her about bringing a plus-one. He wants to be there for moral support, but he would hate to intrude.

His mother opens the door after a moment, expression completely blank as she takes in the two of them standing there, and for just a heartbeat, Zack worries. But then she’s reaching out, slender arm grasping at Cloud’s wrist, and pulling him close in a fierce hug - effectively smothering any worries Cloud might have had about facing her before he can say so much as a word.

Cloud’s mother looks, at first glance, like a small woman. She has the same fine features as her son, and the same unruly hair - it’s pinned back in a messy bun, but a few strands stick out here and there, falling into her face, and down her back.

“Hi, mom,” Cloud mumbles, into her shoulder.

“Cloud,” she replies as she steps back. “Welcome home. “

She takes in her son, from head to toe, before finally looking over to Zack.

“You must be Zack,” she says,eyeing him with a thoughtful expression, and he wonders if maybe he should have dropped the buster sword off in their room in the inn first - it does look intimidating, probably, to a civilian.

Claudia doesn’t spare it so much as a second glance. Instead, she smiles. “It’s good to finally meet you. Come in, both of you. It’s getting cold.”

Cloud first walks in first, with Zack prodding in after him in slow steps. It’s interesting, how people’s stance changes, when they’re on familiar ground - he’d been so worried just moments before, but now Cloud’s shoulders are straight, and there’s a confidence in his steps, one that comes from knowing a place by heart - knowing which floorboards creak and which don’t, how many steps it takes before rounding a corner, which corners to give a wide berth lest you run into them.

He follows them to the kitchen first, small but cosy, with stone tiles on the floor, and a rack with pots and pans hanging from it next to the oven. There’s a bread dough left out to prove on the counter, and the smell of something delicious cooking fills the room - spicy and, somehow, a bit like home.

“The stew isn’t quite done yet,” Claudia tells them,  “but make yourself at home in the meantime.”

Cloud nods. “Come on,” he says, and leads Zack to a small dining area. “You can take off your gear, if you want” Cloud says, “I’ll put them into my room, and they’ll be safe?”

“Great, thanks!” Zack removes the sword from the mount on his back, and then takes off the shoulder plates and harness before handing them to Cloud.

“Are you okay with me taking that…?” Cloud’s eyeing the buster sword.

“Oh, sure! Why wouldn’t I be?” Zack holds it out. “Careful, it’s kinda heavy.”

“I just know it’s important to you.” Cloud takes it with both of his, and even despite its weight, he holds it like it’s something precious. “I’ll be right back.”

(He walks back into the room not five minutes later, dressed in baggy sweats and a long sleeved black shirt that seems rather tight fitting across his chest.

“Guess I did fill out a little, this past year,” he says, giving him a sheepish smile.

Zack feels heat rising to the hollow of his cheeks. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Yeah, looks like.”)

  Dinner is a steaming pot of deliciousness - every bit as good as Cloud had promised that it would be.

It’s some kind of beef and potato stew, rich and hearty, and served with a crusty soda bread. Zack wolfs down two bowls and is about to ask for a third before he considers that maybe that’s rude, but Claudia catches his look and pushes the pot closer to where he’s sitting.

“Go ahead,” she smiles. “I made enough.”

So he helps himself to another bowl.

He listens to Cloud and his mother talk - isn’t surprised when she takes the news of him not being a SOLDIER yet with grace and a smile.

“You’ll make it soon enough. But they’re treating you well?” she asks. “You eat right? Get enough sleep?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, the company takes care of me.”

“I’m your mother, Cloud. I’ll always worry about you.” Tugging a strand of hair behind her ear, she adds, “Have you thought about what I said?”

“What?” Cloud finishes his bowl and traces the edge with his finger.

“About finding someone. Someone who’ll take care of you.”

Intrigued, Zack glances at Cloud, who splutters, grimacing, “what- no. I told you! I’m not interested!” He meets Zack’s eyes, and a flush creeps across his cheeks. He gathers the empty dishes and gets up. “I’ll clean these.”

“Want me to help?” Zack offers, turning on his chair, because Cloud’s already through the door.

“No, you’re okay. I’ll be right back.”

He turns back to Claudia, who’d been watching them. She leans back, amusement lighting up her eyes.

“The food was great!” he tells her. “Definitely better than anything I’ve had in a while.”

She waves him off. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

There’s a moment of silence - and Zack wonders if maybe he should go help Cloud after all. He’s good with people, and he rarely has to deal with awkward silences, but there’s something about sitting down at the table with the mother of his best friend - his best friend, whose chest he’d been staring at earlier, at that.

Claudia seems to notice. “So, Zack,” she starts. “I wish I could say that Cloud’s told me all about you, but he tells me very little.” Then, with a smile, she adds, “but what he does tell me is often about you.”

Zack grins. Rubs the back of his neck. “Only good things, I hope.”

At her nod, he relaxes a little.

“That’s the thing. See, Cloud - he doesn’t connect well with others. I was happy to hear that he finally found a friend. He cares about you a great deal.”

He feels his own grin soften at that. “I care about him, too. He’s great.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Working for ShinRa, it’s what he wants. And I want him to be happy, but it’s hard - knowing he’s out there, fighting, but not knowing how he is, or when he’ll be home next. And I suppose it will only get worse, once he actually makes SOLDIER.”

It’s hard sometimes, to think that they are not the only ones who carry ShinRa’s burdens. They get missions and complete them; failure not an option. They travel, they train, they fight, on a couple hours of sleep a night and shitty rations or even shittier MREs, and most of the time, they do it gladly - this is the life that all of them, including both Cloud and he, have chosen. But it’s hard, not only for them, but the people they leave behind.

It’s probably equally hard, if for different reasons - the fighting and the waiting.

He nods.

For a brief moment, she closes her eyes. “Thank you,” she says. “For not lying about it.”

Faintly, there’s the sound of running water and clinking dishes, and they both consider the boy in the kitchen.

“Cloud’s capable,” Zack says. “He’s amazing. He impressed a lot of people already, and it won’t take long for him to become a SOLDIER. He doesn’t need anyone to protect him. But.” He exhales, a short release of breath, and meets Claudia’s gaze. “But I as long as there’s ever anything I can do, I won’t let anything happen to him.”

He’s met with a contemplative look. “How old are you, Zack?”

“Uh,” he makes. “I’m eighteen.”

“Two years older than Cloud, hm?” It’s not really a question, so he doesn’t answer. “And you’ll take care of him?”

“I’ll do my absolute best. Nothing will happen to him as long as I’m there to stop it.”

And then Claudia smiles. She reaches over the table, and holds Zack’s hand in both of hers. “A mother can ask for no more than that. Thank you, Zack. I really am glad that we finally meet.”

Cloud’s mother looks, at first glance, like a small woman. Blond, unruly hair and fine features. But she has the same determined look in her eyes that Zack has come to know from Cloud. Her hands are calloused in a way that lets him know she is not above hard work, and he realises at once that she loves her son fiercely.

And when she gets up to relieve Cloud in the kitchen, Zack can’t help feeling like he passed some sort of test. He doesn’t know what it means, but it makes him smile a little anyway.

  Cloud’s room, he finds, when Cloud invites him to stay a little longer after dinner, is both exactly and nothing like how Zack imagined it would be.

It’s pretty modest - there’s small desk, a set of drawers, and a bed that’s pushed against the wall, facing the only window. The buster sword is leaning against a wooden chair in the corner of the room, and Zack’s gear is hung over the backrest. It’s a very clean, meaning Cloud’s mother had been keeping it that way ever since Cloud moved out, but even more so, the desk is orderly, sheets of paper stacked neatly in one corner, which confirms Zack’s suspicion that Cloud is just generally a very tidy person.

The walls are mostly bare, save for a ticking clock.

“Hm,” Zack drawls, walking in. “I would have for sure expected one of those Sephiroth posters his fans keep printing. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.”

“Oh shut up,” Cloud nudges him with his shoulder as he walks by. “You don’t get to walk into my room and make fun of me for it. It’s rude.” He points towards the bed. “Just make yourself comfortable.”

“It is rude,” Zack agrees with a grin as he flops down on the bed. “Guess I’m lucky you like me.”

Cloud grabs a blanket from one of the drawers and joins Zack on the bed. He unfolds it, throws one end over Zack’s legs and covers himself with the other half.

“I only have the one,” he says. “Hope this is okay?”

“Of course it is, but - are you sure you don’t want all of it? I’m mako-enhanced, remember? We don’t really get cold that easily.”

“I don’t mind sharing.” Cloud shrugs. “Look.”

Oh. Zack hadn’t noticed at all, but outside, where Cloud is pointing at the window, snow has begun to fall, and the streets and rooftops are already covered in white. On closer inspection, it does seem kind of wet - like Cloud’s prediction, it probably won’t stay until morning, but for now, it’s a beautiful sight; white against the by now dark sky, and the soft light of Nibelheim’s street lamps and windows.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Zack says, and turns to look at Cloud next to him, who’s still studying the falling snow outside. The bedside lamp gives Cloud’s eyes an almost impossible glow, something entirely different from trademark mako eyes.

“Mh.” Cloud shifts closer, until Zack can smell standard issue ShinRa shampoo and something like pine trees. “Hey, Zack?”

“What’s up?”

“Thank you. For coming today.” Cloud glances up at him, impossible eyes framed by full lashes.

“Aw, buddy, I’m happy you brought me to meet your parent.” Zack grins, but adds, more seriously, “You would have been okay, you know?”

“Still. You make things easier, by being there. You-” Cloud looks down. “You give me courage.”

There’s something warm blooming in Zack’s chest, spreading fast through his entire body like a wave rushing to meet the shore, or perhaps, if he were more poetically inclined, like the colours of  dawn bleeding across the sky. He bites his lip to keep it from flooding over.

Beside him, there’s a faint trembling, and Cloud shifts closer yet, to Zack. “So warm,” he murmurs, quietly, which was probably not meant for him to hear.

Zack smiles. “You cold?”

“Just a bit. Maybe I’ll put on a warmer shirt, hang on-”

Zack pulls him back when Cloud moves to get up, and wraps his arms around him. “Nah, come on. Mako-enhanced, remember? I can be your personal hot-water bottle.”

Cloud squirms a little, in his arms, and Zack can feel the heat in his cheeks where his face rests against his shoulder. But then he sighs, and shifts, just a bit, to get comfortable.

“...You’re an idiot,” Cloud informs him, argument losing heat with the fact that he’s buried his nose in the crook of Zack’s neck.

“I can live with that,” Zack replies with a smile, as he rests his chin on Cloud’s head, and decidedly swallows a joke about being Cloud’s idiot because he doesn’t wanna push his luck.

They’re quiet, afterwards, and Zack watches the snow fall outside the window, breathing the scent of pine trees, until his eyes drift shut on their own.

     Claudia balances two mugs of hot chocolate in one hand as she knocks on the door, opens it, quietly, when there is no reply. The sights that greets her makes her smile, probably the biggest and most honest she’s smiled since Cloud left Nibelheim.

There, on the bed, is her son, half draped over Zack; the black-haired, battle-worn SOLDIER’s arms wrapped securely around him. They’re both fast asleep, chest rising and falling slowly, almost in unison.

She places the mugs on Cloud’s desk, picks up the blanket that’s slipped down to the floor and covers the two of them, tugging the edges in more securely. Zack’s eyes flutter open at that, and he moves, just a bit, arms tightening around Cloud as he does.

‘Nothing will happen to him as long as I’m there to stop it,’ he’d said. It’s in that moment, instinctively moving to shield Cloud even as he’s half asleep, that she believes him.

“It’s just me,” she says, quietly. “He chose you, so take care of him for me. I’m trusting you.”

She turns off the light, tiptoes out of the room, and closes the door behind her.