#You can even see the fucking references right THERE...

[reignpage]

Moon's light

Summary: in which alien!reader gets hurt and Gojo's left with more questions than answers about who you are Word Count: 3k Warnings: angsty, cursing, fem alien!readersome sexual language and references, not proofread and highkey made in a rush >_< Previous Parts: Finders Keepers + Lights Show + Movie Night + Bubble Bubble

Day 32

“Oh no.” He surges forward, falling to his knees. “No no no, E. What happened?”

Satoru had just finished a mission. Excited, he teleported back into his apartment, hoping to see you all cute, sweet and offering some cuddles so he can relax after a long five minutes of serious adulting. What he wasn’t hoping to see, however, was you holding a large knife and bleeding on the kitchen floor.

Wrapping a tea towel around your hand, he cradles your body to his. You’re not crying. You’re not even wincing. Instead, you’re just looking at the blue, gloopy liquid oozing out of the deep wound on your palm. Do aliens of your kind not feel pain? 

No, that can’t be the case; you winced when he scissors his fingers inside your pussy. Forcing a calm voice, he queries, “What happened, E? What did you do?”

You reply, “I hold wrong.”

His head slumps back against the cabinet. This is his fault. He should have taught you better, shouldn’t have shielded you from the kitchen. He should have been here. At home. With you.

When you fell from the night sky, there wasn’t a single scratch on your body, not even a bruise. Perhaps, in the back of his mind, he assumed you were invincible, but now, as his hands shake and he gulps down the tight knot of guilt and shame building in his throat, he thinks, maybe it was just wishful thinking. 

It’s been a month since he met you and you’ve progressed so much. You shower on your own, understand plots of movies without much assistance, you read books, albeit children’s and with pictures but soon you’ll be getting up his level, he’s sure, and even help him clean the house. No longer does he worry about his things having teeth marks from your oral exploration or being randomly flashed because you don’t understand the concept of modesty. The routine has been great.

Maybe it’s this bliss in the routine that led him to a foolish sense of complacency.

“E, you don’t have special healing powers, do you? Like me? With my reverse curse technique.” Satoru’s been slowly trying to teach you about his abilities and the reality of his world but it hasn’t been his priority, what with him being distracted by your hips grinding down on his cock almost 24/7. So, when you shake your head, a little confused, he isn’t surprised. “But you do heal, right?”

You shrug.

The blue blood continues to drip from you, steadily. Inspecting the wound, he wonders what to do. He can’t take you to the hospital; they’ll question your blue blood. And there’s no alien expert to turn to – you don’t even seem to know much about yourself. He chews on the inside of his cheek.

Well, there is one person he could take you to, but there’s no guarantee they’ll be of any help. Maybe they’ll even call the authorities on you. 

This could go very wrong. 

But what choice does he have?

He can’t leave you like this. He can’t just hope your wound will fix itself. And what if you get an infection? Can aliens get infected? Fuck. What if you’re already infected? 

If you are, then he’ll, like, suck the infection out of you so you two can die together. Alright. Don’t get too ahead of yourself, he tells himself. Death is not on the cards. Not for you. Never. Not while he can help it. 

Satoru has no idea what he’s doing. Truthfully, he’s just relieved your blood isn’t acidic and burning a hole through his skin and the floor.

There’s nothing to do but to hope for the best with the only choice he has. Pressing a kiss to your head, he whispers, “I’ve got you, baby. Just trust Toru, alright?”

And in a flash, he’s in a dimly lit room, which smells of alcohol and death. He never wanted to bring you here – it’s a dark side to what he does and if he could have helped it, you would have never seen this. Being a place he doesn’t frequent often, the white-haired man inspects the place reflexively; no danger, no change, and just one unimpressed looking woman. 

“So, the moron’s finally decided to grace my workspace,” she drawls. “How flattering.”

Usually, he’d grin and try to go in for a hug, only to be lovingly punched in the gut and thrown across the room, but at the moment, he doesn’t have it in him to smile and he already feels like he’s been punched in the gut. “Hey, Shoko. I need your help.”

Her dull eyes fall on the figure cuddled up to his side, dripping blue onto her floor. She places her pen down and leans back in her swivel chair, not at all put off to see him here.

Sleeve tugged, he looks down. “Say hi, E. She’s a friend. She’s going to take care of you.”

“Help fix my hand?” When Satoru nods, you frown, mulling something over for a second before your eyes meet Shoko’s. “Hi. Fix my hand now.”

He clears his throat. “Sorry, Sho. I haven’t really taught her about please and thank yous.”

“I’m sure you haven’t, since, y’know, you’re not the biggest advocator of those words yourself.” The man can’t rebut that. “So, are you going to explain what you’re doing here or are you just going to let her stain my floors blue?”

Right. Where to begin?

Moments later, once he’s run through a long spiel, explaining the last month of his life, he presents you to the doctor. Confused, though happy to be here, you just smile at the stranger. Said stranger tilts her head and looks at Satoru. 

“An alien. Really?” She drawls.

“Yeah, I know. It’s weird and unbelievable but true! And she’s not dangerous, I promise. Please, Shoko. When I first met her, she was durable. Like, not even a single scratch. How many people do you know who can fall from space, land on a van and not have a bruise? And now? She’s cut herself and she’s bleeding but it’s blue and I’m totally freaking out, okay?”

Shoko sighs. She does that a lot these days. For a second, he thinks she might wave them away or reach for her phone. None can blame her, he supposes. Harbouring an extraterritorial is a crime, he assumes at least. And it’s not as if she’s doing nothing in her time – she’s even more busy than he is. Shouldering the repairs of jujutsu society can’t be an easy job and there’s probably something to be said about the direction their friendship has taken over the years, though there’s not enough time to get into it. He couldn’t and wouldn’t fault her if she wanted nothing to do with his most recent shenanigans. 

But, if she had decided to make a stand, to get the authorities involved, to dare snatch you away, then Satoru will not hesitate to snuff her where she stands. 

Thankfully it doesn’t get to that because Shoko, the amazing, wonderful friend that she is, beckons you over. 

“I’ll see what I can do. Just don’t get your hopes up; I was never taught about alien anatomy.”

You sit on a stool, being examined professionally like you didn’t come from the stars, like you don’t have blue blood, and a bioluminescent body. Pride blooming in his chest, he smiles. There was a fear tickling the back of his neck that maybe you wouldn’t be so…receptive to strangers. Yet, you’re following instructions well and not chomping at his friend’s fingers for going near your wound. Oh, he’s going to smother you in kisses later.

No step is overlooked. Your blood pressure is taken. So is a blood sample. She tests your reflexes, temperature and dental hygiene. Shoko asks questions — some you can answer with no trouble and others, Satoru has to step in and provide a response.

Leaning against a cold, metal slab, he says, “Her body’s pretty similar to ours, I think. Apart from a few surprises like glowing lights and the blue blood, things seem normal. She does run a little hot inside but I think that’s not too weird.”

Slowly, Shoko turns her head and cocks an extremely judgemental eyebrow. “You’ve slept with her, haven’t you?”

Satoru’s ears heat up. “No! No, we haven’t…done that.”

“Right. So, you’ve gone through the trouble of inspecting her insides for me, is that it?”

“Don’t say it like that, Sho.” He groans. “I wasn’t perving on her or anything. We have a connection.”

Dragging the word out, she clarifies, “A connection.”

“Yeah! A connection. We get along well.”

“That’s so very inte–woah!”

You’ve bitten Shoko’s arm through her lab coat. She shakes you off. You don’t latch off. Satoru lunges forward and urges your jaw to loosen. Guess you’ve been feeling left out or jealous. He can’t say he’s not slightly happy about the possessiveness. It’s quite nice, actually. Wait. No. He should be discouraging this, reassuring you, and defending his friend. Right. Yep. “Okay, okay. It’s alright, E. She’s a friend, remember, baby? Just a friend. Don’t hurt her please. Toru’ll be really upset with you.”

An apologetic look is sent to the woman. Complemented with a nuzzle at Satoru’s comforting palm.

Painfully, he can smell the judgement oozing from Shoko’s pores. Even when she steps back and rubs her sore arm, the doctor eyes the two of them, watching as he brushes your cheek and whispers something soothing against your lips.

There’s no telling what’s running through her head and he doesn’t have it in him to ask. So, he keeps an arm around your body and queries instead, “Got any idea what’s happening?”

A moment passes. 

One could quite literally cut the tension in half, or however the saying goes. 

Then, she sighs. Why does she keep sighing? 

“I only have a theory.” Leaning against the wall, she crosses her arm and drawls out, completely bored, like whatever scathing thought she had about Satoru has washed away, along with all the many scathing thoughts she’s had about the sorcerer, “Her skin is hardened at parts and soft in others. I had trouble penetrating her skin to get to her veins, which aren’t placed where they are in the human body, with the needle. She’s cold in certain patches of her skin and her pulse is irregular.”

Taking note as best as he can, he lets you play with his fingers absentmindedly. You’re not at all interested in anything anyone other than him has to say.

“I believe there’s been an inconsistent spread of something she’s missing in her day-to-day or diet. You hiding her away so you can grope her hasn’t done her any good.” Satoru automatically tries to argue but a sharp glare has him shutting it up just as soon as it opens. “If my theory is correct, then she needs something like moonlight — let it be known that this theory of mine only comes from the movies we used to watch as teens so don’t hold me to that — the longer she goes without this missing thing, the more her body will weaken until her entire skin is soft and susceptible to more cuts.”

He sighs. Oh, great, it’s contagious. “Moonlight? That’s it? She’s a nocturnal plant? Okay, great. That’s easy.”

“Yeah, well it’s only a theory, like I said. If I’m wrong, there’s not really anything else I can do. She didn’t know what the healthy bpm is for her kind or how she got here to begin with; there’s only so much I can do with what you’ve provided me. Normally, I’d run more tests but it’s unclear, and risky, to make her undergo any kind of testing before we know her compatibility with our immune system so try the moonlight thing first and let me know if it works.”

Satoru nods, already tuning her out and excited to begin your healing journey. There’s a new movie he promised to watch with you and he can’t wait for much longer. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

“She seems to have memory loss. I don’t see any signs of trauma to her head, but there must be something to explain her lack of understanding and knowledge of her own existence and essence. I’m not sure how communicative she is, but if I were you, I’d start asking questions about where she’s from, why she’s here, and when she’s going.”

Satoru frowns. 

“Thanks for your help. I got it from here.”

And, as quick as he arrived, he leaves.

“Not home, Toru?” 

He shakes his head.

Taking the doctor’s advice, he teleported straight to the rooftop terrace and not into your shared home. If more moonlight is what you need, then more moonlight is what you’ll get. In fact, if he could, he’d give you all the moonlight in the world. He sits down onto a lawn chair and pulls you into his lap. You’re wearing jogging pants and a big shirt – his shirt. Both are pulled off your body, leaving you in just your underwear; maximising the surface area would lead to optimal moonlight absorption and the more you absorb, the faster you’ll heal, right?

It’s a good thing, he supposes, that the moon is full and the sky is clear tonight. He wonders how often he’d need to do this with you. Best to do it frequently probably. Just in case.

In silence, you two sit there, alone and feeling like things are going right once more. You’re nuzzled into his hold whilst Satoru ponders about the last bits of advice Shoko gave. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. Who was she to assume he hadn’t been asking questions? 

Because, of course, he has!

Duh.

His curiosity about you is never ending but he can’t rush you. You’re learning so much so fast and overloading you would be the last thing he’d want.

And how dare she talk about you like that?

Like you’re a stray he picked up. You’re a person. His person. It’s not as if you’re an idiot or a child – you’ve got so much emotional maturity and you can take apart his microwave and put it back together. How many people can do that?

And ‘when you’re going’, seriously?

That’s an insane thought. 

You’re not going anywhere. This is your home now. Sure, he’d love to know more about your home planet and its customs, but that’s as much of that as he cares to know about. There’s no return date on you. You’re not a toy on loan. You haven’t been left in his care for babysitting. How silly to suggest otherwise.

“Toru, you okay?” 

Snapping out of his torrential thoughts, he gazes down at you through his blindfold. Gentle fingers pull it off his face and when his dazzling eyes meet yours, bare and direct, he smiles tenderly. “Yeah, E. I’m okay. Can I see your hand?”

The cut is healing. That was quick. Shoko was right.  Already, it’s closing up. The blood has stopped dripping and soon it’ll be gone, hopefully without a scar to remind either of you two how he’s failed you. 

Kissing the top of your head, he whispers against your hair, “You didn’t know about this moonlight thing?”

You shake your head.

“Do you remember anything from your past? From out there?” The great beyond, of which he’s gesturing to, seems so much bigger now. Very rarely did he ever look up there, but these days, it seems like that’s all he does. 

“Not much. Only little. Home looks like Earth too. People look like me. And you. But no monsters.”

He chuckles. “Lucky you.”

“You worry about what your friend say? When I’m leaving?”

Satoru’s chest tightens. Tense and treading carefully, he asks, “Are you leaving? Is anyone waiting for you?”

“I don’t know.” That wasn’t the answer he wanted. He’d been hoping you’d deny it, say there’s no one else, that you’re not going anywhere and you two can be together forever. Is that too naive? Too hopeful? Too selfish? “I don’t remember. Very blur-ree.”

He can’t push. Won’t. Whether for your good or his, who’s to say?

Squeezing parts of your bare body for comfort, he thanks the heavens, and Shoko (he’ll have to send her a fruit basket or a new corpse to experiment with or something), that you’re healing and he’s learnt a little more about you.

Moonlight and food and a proper education on how to handle sharp objects. The list of things you need is growing and so must his ability to provide all those things for you.

He’ll do anything and everything he can to keep you safe and satisfied. Then there’ll be no reason for you to go anywhere or for anyone to take you. You’re staying here. With him. He’ll kill to make that happen. 

Satoru pinches your chin. Your lips part to receive his. The taste of you, the softness, the warmth – it’s all you and all his. 

Nothing could take this away. 

This is your home.

And you are his. 

[pooklet]

If you're already set on the idea that you should be able to charge for content, this post is not for you, and I do not owe you a space on my blog to make your case lol.

This post came about as a result of seeing new community members who approach TS2 with a TS4 mindset and then end up absolutely floundering when the reception that they get is not at all what they were expecting. This post is not intended to convince anyone of anything, just to provide context for our unique community culture surrounding monetization.

But since you (people who are convinced of your right to sell CC, and think I am an appropriate soundboard for those opinions) will not stop being weirdos in my inbox:

As I said in the first post, no one can stop you from charging for CC. However, I can guarantee you that at least one of the tools you are using to make it has been provided to you on the condition that it not be used to make paid content. So if you go ahead and do that anyway, you have already broken the social contract, and whatever moral high ground you had has been ceded.

If you felt personally attacked by words like "simfluencer" and thought that was a cruel mischaracterization of people who charge for CC: I was referring to an actual person who actually stole someone else's CC to pass off as their own and actually has a merch store with #simfluencer stickers and hats for sale. Like, I didn't make this up lol. This is exactly the type of person I was talking about in this post, who is trying to achieve TikTok-esque influencer status in a community full of commie trilobites who couldn't give less of a fuck.

"I'm disabled, I can't work a regular job!" Same, and I'm so sorry we live in a world that devalues our contributions, that refuses us parity and kindness, that bleeds us dry of what little money we have just to try to maintain even a fraction of the quality of life that able-bodied people take for granted. I want a kinder world for you. I want you to thrive and succeed. I also know that, my own personal opinions on CC monetization aside, your battle to charge for your content in this specific community is so uphill as to be basically a 90° angle. Even if I was totally pro paid CC, it would not change the fact that the vast majority of people in the community aren't. I'm not saying "you should've picked a different hobby, you idiot, you fucking rube," I'm telling you that you have chosen one of the few remaining communities with a very strict socially-enforced contract against monetization in which to try to monetize and that is, objectively, not a good use of your time. Your skills are valuable, they are transferable, and if you want to make money doing something similar in a community that is more receptive to monetization, you absolutely can, and that would be a better use of your time.

"Artists should be allowed to charge for their work." Yep, for their work. But the work you do here isn't just yours. Here's a metaphor I've used before: if you're a fiber artist and you want to make and sell scarves, that's great! What's not great is finding a free pattern that very clearly states "do not use this for items you intend to sell" and saying to yourself "okay but it's my yarn and my time and I deserve to be paid for these scarves that I'm making, and I should be allowed to do it with this specific pattern." No one can stop you, but it does signal that yours is the only work that is of value to you, and you do not respect the wishes of the person without whom you could never have made those scarves. "They provided it for free, so I can do what I want with it" is exactly the selfish mindset that y'all are sobbing is a cruel mischaracterization.

"So you're telling me my contributions are worthless." No, I'm telling you to value the work of the people whose resources you are using! I'm telling you that the free-sharing ecosystem of The Sims 2 was established over 20 years ago, and that means that some of our most foundational tools were created by people with no-paid-content policies and if you do it anyway, you have broken the social contract. Whether you agree with that contract or feel it is outdated or unfair is completely besides point. If you do not respect the people whose work you're using, why should your work be respected? If you refuse to abide the policies of those of us who have asked you not to monetize our resources, why on earth should you be entitled to compensation?

A quick-ish guide to the culture of The Sims 2 modding community.

Are you new to The Sims 2 community? Are you coming from more modern games, either in The Sims franchise itself or other contemporary games? Are you excited to start your #brand and become a #simfluencer and post your #earlyaccesscontent to support your #sidehustle?

Have a seat, then! Let's chat.

Hello, friend! My name's Pooklet. I've been playing since 2004 and creating since 2007. I'm by no means an expert in most forms of content creation itself, but I've been around since the heyday of The Sims 2, I've watched how community opinions have shifted (or not) since practically the beginning, and I'm hoping to give you a basic outline of the community culture that you can expect to encounter as a newcomer.

A very brief history of Sims 2 content monetization:

People have been trying to monetize content since there has been content to monetize, all the way back in the days of The Sims 1. We tend to call them "pay creators" and their websites "paysites." Some big names in this arena include The Sims Resource (their free-with-ads model is a relatively recent development, which is why you will find people to this day calling them T$R), PeggySims, Newsea, and many others that you can find on this handy website:

Paysites Must Be Destroyed

Now, if you have a glance at that website, you might be saying to yourself:

"But, that's illegal! I own the copyright to my custom content!"

Alas, no! Due to the wording of the End User License Agreement for The Sims 2, no custom content creator owns their creations for this game (or The Sims 1, or 3, or 4, for that matter, but we're talking about 2 right now). It all belongs to EA at the end of the day, and by installing and playing the game, you have agreed to these terms. Which means you have no individual, protected copyright, and it is perfectly legal for someone to download your paywalled content and then reupload it for free for others to enjoy. And they will!

Furthermore,

You are not making anything alone.

Everything from modding resources, to tutorials, to the mods required to fix disastrous glitches in the game code and make it playable at all, to the third party programs used to make any and all custom content, such as SimPE—all of these have been provided to you for free by other creators, many of whom have a usage policy that asks that people not use their freely-provided tools to make a profit. Although no one can be forced to follow a creator's policy, it is generally considered good manners to not try to make a profit off of someone else's free work. And if you are using these tools to make paywalled content, that's exactly what you're doing.

Pay creators have been ignoring these policies since the beginning of time, and so free creators likewise ignore their policies against sharing their paywalled content. Pay creators have also tried lots of different ways to keep their content exclusive, everything from trying to track leaks with slightly altered files to actively filling their content with malicious code. It has never worked.

Free creators have always found a way around these barriers. In fact, it's taken as something of a challenge to undermine monetization efforts. As you can see from Paysites Must Be Destroyed, there are entire teams of players devoted to reuploading paywalled content for free.

A culture of sharing.

The Sims 2 is something of a time capsule. At 20 years old, it predates a lot of the hyper-capitalist hustle culture that has infested every creative hobby. It is from a time when monetization was an outlier rather than the norm, and a much maligned outlier at that. This attitude has persisted for 20 years. Believe me when I say, you won't be the combo breaker. Especially now, given that The Sims 2 is not the most contemporary in the series and the community has shrunk considerably, down to the people who have either been here for a very long time, or newcomers that understand the community culture.

Also, it's just kind of not a great idea in general to try to make money off of a 20-year-old game with a pretty small community?

Like, I get that The Sims 4 is really saturated with pay creators and it's hard to get a foot in the door. I get that you might look at The Sims 2 and think that the small pond will give you room to be a big fish. It won't. You might get a handful of people willing to pay for your content, but at least one of those people will be resharing it for free.

Paywalls vs. optional donations.

Okay, so hopefully you now understand why people don't like it when you put content behind a paywall. But what about those Ko-fi and Paypal donation links you sometimes see at the bottom of people's downloads? Why is that okay, but a locked Patreon tier isn't? Well, because they're voluntary. No one is obligated to pay for that content to be able to download and use it. It's just a way for someone who does have a little extra cash to basically "tip" a creator whose content they like. You have no way of knowing whether the person who posts those links is actually receiving any donations. And that's kind of the point. Whether or not they receive any donations, they are still sharing their content, because they enjoy the hobby of making and sharing content.

"I can't make a living off of that!"

No, you can't. Because that's not what we do here. That is not part of our community culture for all the above reasons. If you want to make a reliable income off of your hobby, you're going to need to get a different hobby. Try Second Life! That is a community that actively encourages monetization. The Sims 4 allows for "early access" monetization. There's options out there for you, if what you want is to make a profit off of your creations for a game.

"Fine, what about monetized link forwarding services?"

Link forwarding services historically have malicious trackers or viruses embedded. People will also strip those and provide direct links to each other. Or they just won't download your content.

"What if I want to make YouTube videos of someone else's written tutorials and I enable ad revenue on them?"

Personally, I still think that's a dick move. I love video tutorials, I'm a very visual learner myself, and although you might feel entitled to compensation for reciting the steps of someone else's tutorial into a microphone and then editing and uploading the video, you're still monetizing someone else's freely-provided content. I would consider this an 'ask permission' scenario, one in which you tell the person, explicitly, that you will be making ad revenue off their work. If they're fine with that, then you're good! (For the record, I'm not fine with that.)

edit: more of of my thoughts on monetized youtube videos over here.

"What if—"

Look, no one can stop you from trying to monetize your content, or worse, someone else's content. But you will have the exact same arc as every pay creator who came before you: your efforts will be undermined at every turn, your reception in the greater community will be chilly at best, and it will become a battle between you and the folks resharing free reuploads of your content until any fun you initially had making content is gone.

"The steady erosion of every known social safety net beneath the crippling weight of end-stage, line-goes-up capitalism and the yawning abyss of poverty over which I am dangling has imbued me with such anxiety that I cannot engage with a hobby that precludes monetization. I am exhausted. I know no other way."

I get it, friend! I have lived in poverty all my life. I do not begrudge the impulse to find a way to make passive income off of your every waking moment. Increasingly, it seems like that is the only way to survive! Unfortunately, you will not be able to do that with this specific community. We know that we have something special here, having resisted monetization's encroach for so long, which makes us fight all the more viciously to maintain it. You are entitled to try to find ways to supplement your income, just not here. Personally, I consider that a feature, not a bug.

Bonus Round: Remember, That's Not Just Yours!

I said it earlier, but I want to reiterate: you are not making any TS2 CC alone. You are making it with tools, resources, knowledge and code that people have provided on the condition that they not be used for pay content.

To use myself as an example, "my" hair textures are a blend of resources provided by other creators. Namely, Nouk's original hair texture was edited by Vintage D, which I then further edited over the years, using parts by the creators Ephemera and Helga. It would be extremely shit of me to say "well, I think that the time that I put into my edit is worth money, so I'm charging for it" when the edits that I made would not exist without the work of those people. And it continues on down the line with edits that other people have made of my texture blends and color actions, and the content they make with them.

(If you see someone charging for these, btw, lemme know. I'd love to have a talk with them.)

In closing,

The knowledge base, the resources, the coding required to make any and all working content for The Sims 2 has been compiled for 20 years. Please understand, I'm not trying to denigrate anyone's creativity when I say: you cannot bring anything wholly "new" to TS2 CC-making, something that uses no one else's resources or programs, something you can point to and say "no one helped me with that. I did it all on my own. It is my property." Nor should you aspire to! The fun of The Sims 2 community is to share and share alike, to credit each other for our contributions, to hype each other up and iterate on shared works and resources. We've been doing it for 20 years, and hopefully we'll be doing it for many more! Wanting to be a #simfluencer is utterly antithetical to the community culture. No one is influencing anyone else. You need to leave that shit at the door if you want to be invited in.

TL;DR:

Don't show up to the commie circle-jerk trying to charge for handjobs. We're already giving them to each other for free, and nothing about your wrist technique is special enough to justify the cost.

[decayingearf]

i see you write for supernatural😏. can i get a mfn uhhhh … season one!sam x reader like stanford sam. how he get down in them dorm rooms. omgg who said that?😱

(omg it must’ve been the wind? anyhow here’s stanford sam!)

✗ warnings; 18+, mdni, pinv (doggy style), drunk hook up, established consent, animalistic!sam, light after care (if you squint)

[a/n: now hold on, im sure you’re thinking this is some rapey drunk sexual assault, no. both people are consenting, its just a drunken hook up. whoever comes up with the best name for this fic, wins!]

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀; you run into your classmate at a party, do you talk to him or brush him off?

you really didn’t even want to go to that stupid party. everyone had class tomorrow but from the looks of it, they could care less.

“you gonna be okay by yourself?” your friend asked over the blasting music, “yeah im just gonna be a-“ hell if they cared. ‘yeah’ was all they needed to hear. no specifics.

you sighed walking away from the overcrowded living and into the kitchen. that wasn’t an easy task either, seeing as everyone was wasted. “‘scuse me..’scuse me” you state pushing past people. you finally make it to the drink table fixing yourself a vodka cran.

you notice some guy you know from your criminal justice class, babysitting a beer. “hey you’re, [𝜗𝜚], right?” he questions as you look up at him offering a friendly smile “yeah..do i know you?” you make small talk.

“uh—sam, criminal justice, fifth row?” he lists as you feign remembrance “right right, i totally remember you sam” you giggled. “no that was kind of stupid huh? thats my bad” the giant raised his hands in surrender.

large hands, strong grip, lord have mercy.

“you uh—you here with anyone tonight?” he spoke up after a beat or two. he’s doing the thing, you can tell. “my friend, shes..” you trailed off looking around the room not spotting her, “she’s somewhere around here” before sam chuckled lightly.

you sip your drink settling in the silence, it’s comfortable.

time goes by rather quickly as you and sam just chat mostly. you can tell that the drinks he’s had is making him more cocky. he’s making all sorts of comments from ‘yeah, i changed my major..” to ‘you wanna get out of here?’.

12:03 am

“nguh!” you moan out as sam thrusts into you faster from behind, “hmph” he growls before slapping your ass and grabbing your hips to force you back again.

“fuck, oh my gosh” you shout as your arms give and you fall head first into the bed. sam pushes further on your arched back as he continues fucking you senseless.

all to be heard was; skin slapping, muffled sentences, and animalistic grunts n groans.

“stay like that, dont move” sam groans referring to your ‘face down, ass up’ position. this way seems like you can feel just how deep he is.

“oh my gosh! fuck, don’t stop” you cry out as it gets muffled into the bed sheets which you’re holding onto for dear life.

sam soon feels his orgasm creeping up which is the only reason why he’s slowing down as we speak. “fuck right there” he grunts as his resolve snaps and hot white lines are coating your clenched walls.

sam kept going until you caught up with your own climax. he collapses next to you “c’mere” the man nods you over before kissing your temple and letting you rest on his chest.

@cursed-carmine dividers!

[hikarimiyanaga]

I thought it was me?

Fuck me. I'm in love with Rumi already.

VOICES ARE MY FUCKING WEAKNESS.

Okay. MY FIRST CRUSH HAD A VOICE THAT MADE ME WEAK IN THE KNEES.

Okay. Take this angsty one shot. Because I need to hurt myself apparently.

You freeze in your tracks as you hear their conversation.

"Who? Y/N? She's just an assistant." Rumi finishes it with a chuckle and you quickly hide yourself behind the walls.

Assistant. Right.

So all her promises. All her laughs. All the kisses. All the nights spent together in her bed.

All of those were nothing.

Assistant. That's what you are.

You should've just stayed in your lane.

Should've never confessed.

Should've never fell.

You can't help the big tears as you clutch your heart.

Your heart hurts so much.

You feel your whole world break down.

"Right. I need to quit." You take a deep breath and you look at your phone.

The picture of you and Rumi where she kissed your cheek when it was supposed to be a simple selfie.

You feel your heart clench in itself again.

'This sucks.' You think as you make your way out of the penthouse.

'This fucking sucks.' You chant to yourself as you make your way to the lobby. You take a deep breath and call your boss.

"Bobby? We need to talk."

-

You were collecting your stuff in the penthouse and you groan.

"Why the hell did I leave so many of my stuff here?"

You stack another box and groan.

"In my next job, I'm fucking getting a duffel bag."

You finish getting everything after fifteen minutes and look at the four boxes.

"Two trips it is." You decide and so you carry two boxes down to your car.

You put the boxes in your trunk and hum as you check the Livestream.

You picked this time because you knew the girls would be out.

No tears. No pain. No sadness. No regret.

No one would stop you from leaving at all. Even Bobby was informed already and although he protested it at first. You debated him for hours until he reluctantly agreed that you make your sneaky way out.

Out of their lives.

The thought makes you freeze.

Right.

No more late night bursts of inspirations with Zoey.

No more analyzation of choreographies with Mira.

You weren't just going to lose Rumi.

You were going to lose everything.

But still. Knowing that she only still sees you as nothing but an assistant makes you weak in your knees.

You were patient. A saint, really. After all, she had promised for years that she'll reveal to the public that you were hers but she never did.

And you were okay with that.

Because you know deep inside that Rumi was not someone who you can reach.

Huntr/x is god level status among the groups. Tops all the groups. All the time.

You ride the elevator up to the penthouse again. Not knowing that while you froze up. The Livestream had ended abruptly because Bobby can't keep a secret.

-

You were about to pick up the other two boxes when you were dragged by Mira.

"What- why are you here already!?" She doesn't answer but her grip on your wrist tightens. She makes you sit on the couch and you look at her.

"I left on my bike. Zoey and Rumi are on their way."

"What? Why?"

"Because you were leaving! I asked Bobby why you weren't there and he-" Mira can't stop her tears. Her voice went from angry to sad.

"Why are you leaving?" You panic as she cries.

"Mira! It's not your fault at all, okay? You guys did nothing wrong." She grabs your collar.

"Then why!? Y/N, you fit in well with us. You always supported us from the start so why- why are you just leaving us when we're at the top!?" You feel your heart clench.

"I-"

"Did Zoey make you stay late at night? You know you have your own room here-"

"No- I-"

"Did Bobby skimp out on your bonus? I can give you a thousand percent bonus if you want to-"

"Mira! Stop!" You shout and she freezes as your tears are just flowing.

Mira has never seen you cry. You were their rock. Always calm. Always there. She even jokingly refers to you as the true delinquent of the group.

"Please. Let me leave. I can't- I can't live like this anymore."

"You- have you hated us?"

"No! Never! I just-" you sob as you clutch your chest. Your heart hurts so much. It hurts too much. Everything is collapsing before you. Your heart that was given away is utterly destroyed and in pieces. And now you were about to leave your best friends too.

"Please. Just let me leave. I need to go. I can't- my heart can't take anymore, okay?" You sob. "It hurts so much. So fucking much."

"What? I-I don't understand." You chuckle at that.

"How can you? Please let me go. I can't see her. I don't want to get hurt anymore. Okay?"

"Who-"

"Rumi."

"Your girlfriend?"

"No. My boss. I'm just her assistant, after all."

Rumi and Zoey freeze at the door as they hear you.

"Rumi?" Zoey questions her and Rumi can only stare at you.

You heard her that day. Fuck.

"I- Juni doesn't know and I had to-"

"This is why I told you to stop fucking around and announce it!" Mira shouts at her and you snap.

"STOP!" The trio looks at you and you look at them with such calm eyes that they instinctively took a step back.

"I'm leaving. Don't fight."

"Wait-" Rumi tries to hold your wrist but you slap it away.

"I'm done." You say with a cold tone and she felt her heart die.

You were done. With everything.

With her promises that never came true.

With her vague flirtations with men.

With her excuses.

With her inaction.

You were done.

Eight years that they climbed to the top.

Eight years since you fell.

Five years since you confessed. Five years of her promises. And now you were just tired.

Done.

You calmly take the boxes by the door and look at the trio. Rumi was crying silently as she looked at you.

"Good luck on the idol awards this year." You say and get out of the penthouse.

-

You take the final box out of your trunk and get inside your house.

You take your phone out and see everyone's art for today's Livestream and the new fandom that emerged.

#RumiJuni

You block every number that had to with them. Even Bobby.

It was time to move on. It was time to choose yourself.

No more vague promises.

You wanted a relationship where you were announced and showed off.

A love that can proudly say that you were theirs.

Theirs to love.

Theirs to keep.

Why would your love need to be hidden?

"Finally." You say as you sit on your own comfortable couch.

-

A/N:

QODBHSVEHS

How's the pain? Doable?

*Insert evil laugh*

I wrote this an hour after watching it.

THE ROMANCE NEVER HAPPENED. SHUT UP.

[leashybebes]

several sentences smonday

tagged by @ambernotember, @rcmclachlan and @liminalmemories21 - thanks, gang. made some decent progress on allying yesterday so here's a little more of buck being the one going through it while tommy's happily oblivious (we love a role reversal!) special guest star: the author's barely disguised longing for thai food

"Hey," Tommy says. "This place looks great. You know I'd have been happy with the usual street meat, right? What's the occasion?"

There's an opening right there, but Buck hears himself say, "N-no occasion. Just heard Hen talking about it and I thought it sounded cool."

"Awesome. Did she have any recommendations?"

"The kang pah with catfish is supposed to be really good."

"Cool. I would fight god for even a mediocre massaman curry, honestly, so we should get something with a little spice too," Tommy says. "We can share?"

Buck files that away for future reference. He doesn't know if massaman curry is in Bobby's repertoire, but maybe he can figure it out himself. God, he wants to kick himself, thinking back on the way he had Bobby help him cook up a feast for Tommy when he got hurt, so eager to deliver it and share it with Tommy and - how didn't he know, he wonders, for approximately the seventy five thousandth time.

Tommy's leaning forward a little so they can look at the same menu, the low light making him look just - breathtaking. Like, Buck literally cannot get a proper breath and he wipes his hands on his slacks under the table, agrees to Tommy's appetizer choices without really hearing them because he's so fixated on Tommy's hand as he points out options, his short, neat fingernails, the hangnail at the base of his index finger.

Tommy has such good hands - they're capable and sturdy and strong and flecked with scars and freckles from work and time outside, and his fingers are big and blunt and - Buck wants to hold his hand so badly it's making him crazy. He can almost see it - the way their fingers would look intertwined, the way Tommy's knuckles would flex when he squeezed.

He could reach out, take Tommy's hand. That would - that would make it clear, right? If he reached out and slotted his fingers through Tommy's, that would say it for him. But it won't, will it? If he reaches out and takes Tommy's hand he'll probably just get a weird look in response. God, they blurred those lines so comprehensively that Buck isn't sure if there's any way back. The idea makes him feel miserable, and he only startles out of it when the server comes to take their order.

Tommy rattles off the appetizers and entrees Buck apparently agreed to while deep in the fog of the most PG fantasy he's had in years. Tommy launches into a story about his latest shift and Buck nods, makes affirmative noises in the right places, takes slow sips of his water, tries to calm the fuck down. How can it possibly be so much easier to fuck Tommy, to get fucked by Tommy than to have a conversation with him about what he wants?

"So uh - h-how was your date?" Buck asks. He kind of desperately does not want to know, but he guesses if Tommy met the love of his life last night he should probably know about it.

"Yeah, it was nice," Tommy says with a shrug, and something in Buck settles. Nice doesn't scream 'whirlwind romance of the century, eloping to Vegas next weekend'.

"You gonna see him again?"

"Well. Not for a date," Tommy says with a smirk, and Buck abruptly feels like his insides are on fire.

no pressure whatever day it is tags for @trombonechurchill, @setmeatopthepyre and @bidisasterevankinard

[stygiansun-totaleclipse]

nsfw ask answered under the cut 👍

Kieran: There’s no way they heard that right—okay never mind mc said it again quite clearly. Are they seriously…? (//Ò///Ó//) They sit up from the floor to look at mc still sleeping. Tries to ignore it despite their burning face and buries themself under a pillow but they can still fucking hear. MC moans again and they are so embarrassed and irate that shoving mc off the bed is just an involuntary reflex at this point. Cue flustered argument with baffled and offended mc who doesn’t understand why the fuck Kieran seems mad at them or why they just randomly shoved them to the floor????

Nihm: Unless mc starts getting really blatantly erotic with their reactions, Nihm is probably going to misinterpret it as a nightmare. They are painfully oblivious. Will gently rouse mc and get too close in trying to ask if they’re okay and what’s wrong D: and will assume any flusteredness on MCs part is simply uneasiness from their bad dream. If it did become glaringly obvious what mc was dreaming about even to Nihm, they’d enter panic mode as soon as it dawned on them and would probably flee and sleep outside the room on the floor. If asked what’s wrong the next morning the only answers they’ll be able to give would be too-loud-to-be-casual blurted and often nonsensical replies.

Lilith/Lucien: 👀👀👀👀❤️ woagh….should I wake them…? Torn between wanting to keep listening and wanting to wake mc to see their reaction coming face to face with L. Will very innocently ask if mc was having a bad dream upon waking them (while deviously crawling closer and drawing attention to their chest/cleavage) bc mc was whimpering and they swear they heard mc maybe call their name…? Is everything okay? 🥺 (😈) Also insanely horny now (as if they aren’t always).

Samira: Assumes at first it’s just mc having a bad dream until mc very clearly moans her name. She totally freezes like ahaha this is NOT happening right now. Waking mc would be absolutely too mortifying but listening to mc rn is also torturous—she feels like she’s intruding on a very private moment and ain’t no freaking way mc is really dreaming about her like that rn?? Won’t say a damn thing but for the next several days she’ll be acting so awkward around mc, much to their confusion.

Aurynn: Well, damn. Won’t wake mc but takes note of everything they say/do for reference. The next morning as he’s waiting for mc to wake up he’ll ask if mc had a nice dream last night :) (cuz it sure sounded like it—what was it you were saying again? Oh that’s right. *starts imitating MCs whines until mc is forced to shut him up*)—really no point in denying it, tho. He knows it happened and now mc knows he knows.

[treeteaofversailles]

LADs Identical Twin MC & Non-MC

This is my original work. Please do not post to another site or to AI. Thank you and happy reading!

Summary: just quotes between siblings.

Tags: swearing, very tiny amount of angst, mostly crack, and protective siblings. (This is how I am with my older brother, so I’m drawing irl reference from that).

Ever since I wrote about the identical twin Non-MC thing, that’s just been bouncing around my skull… So I made some quotes for the interactions between MC and her Non-MC twin.

This isn’t connected to the “Should Have Been Me” universe. This is just general crack quotes for my “identical twin non-MC” thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: *sneezing multiple times*

MC: Oh my god! Can you shut up? You’re so annoying! >:(

Non-MC: *grabs MC’s shoulders and sneezes right in her face*

MC: BRO!???!!!

*Revenge time*

MC: *sneezes and grabs Non-MC’s arm, wiping her nose on their sleeve*

Non-MC: Ah! Disgaurstung naemsae ga nayo! Ah, disgaurstung shet!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: Why are you so ugly??

MC: We have the same face, dumb fuck! >:((

Non-MC: Yeah, but you’re so much uglier.

MC: I will fucking cut you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Any mild inconvenience happens*

Non-MC or MC: This is why Granny doesn’t fucking love you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: Why is he looking at you like that?

MC: He doesn’t like me.

Non-MC: Can I kill him?

MC: No.

Non-MC: Not even a little bit?

MC: No???

*Alternatively…*

MC: I may or may not have given asthma to the guy who breathed in your direction wrong

Non-MC: ???!!!

Non-MC: How did you give him asthma???

MC: I choked him

Non-MC: You didn’t think to ask me if that was okay?

MC: Is it okay if I—?

Non-MC: IT’S TOO LATE!!??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*About being experimented on as kids*

Non-MC: I remember everything they did to us. I remember it all.

MC: I don’t…

Non-MC: Good. Only one of us needs to.

MC: But—

Non-MC: Just let your older sister take care of you, okay? Just forget about it. You were a child. You didn’t deserve any of it.

MC: … but so were you…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: Listen to the adult.

MC: You’re ONE minute older. ONE.

Non-MC: Hush, infant. Off to bed.

MC: I’m putting you in the nursing home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: I SHOULD HAVE EATEN YOU IN THE WOMB!!!

MC: YOU’RE ADOPTED!!!

Non-MC: YOU WERE DROPPED AS AN INFANT!!

MC: AT LEAST I WAS HELD!!

Non-MC: *loud screaming*

MC: *louder screaming*

Zayne: Should we stop them?

Caleb: No, no. I want to see who wins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*When someone endangers the other twin*

Non-MC or MC: If you touch a hair on their head, I will make your life so miserable that you wished your mother swallowed you instead after blowing your father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Non-MC: *does something really badass*

MC: Omg??!! You actually used your head?? ARe you gOing to catch a fEvEr??

Non-MC: You are the only person who is not allowed to say that stuff to me.

[cameronwolfe]

rereading chapter 21 and realizing i am imagining the layout of their apartment totally wrong 😔 do you have a drawing of the layout because i am *confused* 😀

Okay I do not have a drawing so I tried to whip up a floor plan and it was NOT going well. BUT what I have instead is The Sims installed, so I made their apartment 🤓 Suspend some disbelief because I'm by no means a Sims build mode expert BUT I did my best and hopefully it should make the layout more clear

Here's the floorplan:

Here's the front hall: that's the front door there. You come in from the hall through there, and there's the closet to your left when you come in and then the washing machine after that (in the fic it's closed off in a closet, but I kept it open here so you could see it). That's the foyer area I reference - the shoe racks are there too even though you can't see them in this pic. All of the art in the apartment is from when Vi bought Powder's art from her:

Then if you keep walking down the hall past the shoe rack and washing machine, you come into the main space and you can turn into the kitchen area, featuring their kitchen island where Vi (redacted) Cait: the kitchen island is huge which is why they're always using it to hang out around. In my mind there's more space around the dining table but when I tried to adjust it, all the things I'd already built moved around so instead just use some imagination here:

The living room space is open to the kitchen and dining space:

Off to the right of the living room space, you see the door to Caitlyn's office. So it's next to the living room space and faces out to the street, so it has windows too. Crucially, picture Cait's desk as even bigger than this (this will be relevant soon):

Here's a bigger view again. So you can see that along the hallway is the guest bedroom and the guest washroom (also relevant soon):

Quick approximation of the guest room and washroom:

Now we go over to Cait and Vi's room across the apartment! The door is on the other side of the living space by the dining area. You can see that the bedside lamps are mismatched because Vi broke one and replaced it:

Their washroom is accessible only from their bedroom. I couldn't get the bathtub big enough so visualize it as much bigger than that, and also the shower being entirely glass:

AH FUCK I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT THE BALCONY!!!!! Okay I went back in and added it but I'm not going to take all the pictures again so here it is just from the outside:

And of course they're on the fifth floor so picture this apartment five floors up!

[astrae4]

RIWOO AS YOUR SECRET BOYFRIEND…

pairing — boynextdoor’s lee sanghyeok x reader

warnings — make out, lowk suggestive + i have no humor so dont come at me abt the fact that riwoo’s lowk un-jokey here. Trust me when i say u dont wanna see me attempt to be witty with jokes. (I CRASHED OUT AT THE END THIS ISNT FINISHED)

genre — romance.

notes — Ever since I saw the dance live of Riwoo I couldn’t take my eyes off that man. IN FACT, I couldn’t even take my mind off of him. He’s so fucking attractive you have no IDEA how mentally shaken I am by him. So here you go…

more works: navigation | bnd!masterlist

Riwoo who’d come down to your place randomly and text you only a min before he steps at your porch, late at night like a goddamn red flag—his glasses on and hair cut short just the way he KNOWS you’re obsessed with; food in hand. You won’t even have time to fix yourself up as you open the door hurriedly, looking around to check if anyone saw because what would people say if they see you both together?

Riwoo who’d take your scoldings in one ear and out the other—not because he doesn’t like listening to you! But his eyes are just too busy raking the sight in front of him. Pajama shorts on and his shirt with that messy hair? Dear Lord, his mind is malfunctioning as you flood his thoughts.

Riwoo who puts down his “excuse” to visit you (AKA the food) on the floor as his eyes scour your pissed off face. He thinks it’s hot. He thinks you’re so hot. What does he do when he thinks you’re hot? Ding ding ding! The answer forms right below your nose, the very thing that’s berating him right now.

Riwoo who’d waste no time, not even to take off his jacket as he practically smashes his lips onto yours. Your anger diffuses quickly as his lips slant over yours, teeth almost grazing by the intensity of it all and the only thing you can feel and think and smell is him. Him, him, him. You hold the back of his neck, loving how his short, spiky hair is feeling on your hands. You can feel how ruffled it becomes as you mess it up, which you know would annoy his hairstylist later on.

Riwoo whose hands would find a way into the curve of your hips pretty quickly, dazed and mindless until you push him away and gasp for air, your lips puffed up and rouged because of him. You’d go ‘what the heck?’ as if that wasn’t the best kiss of your life and he’d just attempt to kiss you again—never getting enough of the feeling.

Except…keyword: attempt. You don’t let Riwoo kiss you again, and your hands cover his mouth to stop him. His face would turn incredulous because um. Why’d you stop him? But you’re standing on business (haha get that reference?) and you wanted answers.

Riwoo whose mind blanked out a bit before he points at the food, his excuse to being in your arms right now. You’d know how fake his excuse is by now though, but you still take it. Who denies free food anyways?

Riwoo who’d watch you eat as he recalled his day, complaining about how much he missed you and how much he wanted to tell people you’re his when he saw your jaw-dropping posts though you know that can never happen. You’d nod anyways though, eyes fixated on your handsome boyfriend with his SO SO attractive haircut— (yeah sorry guys…if you don’t know by now i LOVE short & choppy hair on men..)

Riwoo who’d catch on to your straying eyes though you tried to make it subtle—and you know you’re doomed when he notices because that man will tease you and use that in his advantage for days on end. He’ll slide next to your seat, closer than ever and his hand will make his way back to your hip, thumb circling your skin as he asks you if you like his new hair.

Riwoo who’d relish in how flustered you become, a sly grin on his face as he nears your face and — AHHHHHHHHHH

GUYS I CANT DO KT ANYMORE IM LOSING MY FUCKING MINDD OVER HIM HE’S TOO ATTRACTIVE IM GONNA CRASH OUT. LIKE IM SO SORRY BUT HOLT SHIBAL I KEEP GIGGLING OVER MY OWN WRITING EVEN THO IT LOWK DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT HE’S TOO AHHHH

i’ll complete this another time. I was insane to think i could be normal while writing this when I’m giggling over here like a goddamn MANIAC every two seconds

Sorry guys i’ll update u when i actually finish this

TAGLIST: @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @teddywonss @taerae-verse @bbangbies @Ize325 @hyeinsveil

NETWORKS: @k-films @k-labels @onedoornet

© astrae4 2025 — please don't copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!

[sinofwriting]

Please Take Advantage (of me) - Cody Rhodes

Words: 1,818 Summary: After lunch with a friend, she can’t help but think she’s taking advantage of Cody. Note(s): Implied Age Difference (but no direct reference),

Masterlist | Support Me!

“I know I said it before, but that dress is gorgeous on you.” Her friend says, reaching out and after she gives a nod, stroking the fabric for a second.

“Thank you.” A pleased smile is on her face, blood rushing to her cheeks. “Cody bought it for me.”

The other girl stills, hand halfway to reaching for her drink. “Really?”

She nods, smoothing the fabric. “Said the color suited me.”

Her friend makes a face and then sighs sitting back in her chair. “Could we actually talk about Cody?”

Her eyebrows raise but she nods. “Yeah, of course.” She leans a little forward, the seriousness on her friend’s face concerning her. “What’s up?”

“It’s just,” She pauses. “You're taking advantage of him.”

Her mouth drops open.

“I’m not saying you don’t deserve these things, you do. But, maybe slow down, pump the brakes a little before he realizes what you're doing. I mean, the plane tickets, the new clothes, the jewelry. It’s a lot. And it’s fine to ask for things.” She reaches forward, patting her hand and Y/N has to resist flinching back from the touch. “I ask May for things, but not all the time. It’s like every time I see you in person or on insta you’ve got something new.”

The rest of their lunch is quiet as she processes her friend's words and it doesn’t help when her friend when hugging her goodbye whispers for her to think about it.

And it’s all she does. It’s all she can think about.

She had never thought about it that way, that she was taking advantage of Cody. Not when every time he gave her something it was always him saying, Look, baby, I got you something, I got you a gift, I remember you saying you liked this, all variations she’s heard a dozen times now. And she’s loved everything he’s given her, it’s all been things she’s mentioned liking to him or friends and her heart sinks her. She was taking advantage of him.

Every time she mentioned liking something it seemed to be given to her within a week because Cody was hearing something in her voice that she hadn’t realized was there, a question of will you buy it for me and it brings tears to her eyes as she sinks into her bed. The necklace around her neck doesn’t feel right anymore, it feels wrong to wear and her fingers scramble to take it off, tossing it on her nightstand. The dress is quickly taken off, falling to the ground before she buries herself underneath her blankets.

She had been using Cody and hadn't even realized it… what kind of person does that make her?

She wakes up with missed calls and texts and feeling worse than before. The guilt is festering inside her. She can’t try and give back what he’s given her. Cody wouldn’t accept that. But, she thinks staring at herself in the mirror, she could be better.

“Fuck, are you okay?”

She blinks at the worried tone that greets her as she answers her phone. “Yeah, Cody, I’m okay. I fell asleep after I got home, my phone was on silent.”

She can hear Cody take a deep breath, practically hear the worry melt away from him and another wave of guilt crashes over her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it.”

“No. Don’t apologize. I just, I got worried. You hadn’t texted me since this morning, didn’t tell me you got home and then you weren’t answering and,”

“And I always answer during the day.”

“Yeah.” he breathes.

“I’m okay.” She soothes, sitting down on the foot of her bed, wincing as the dress she had worn earlier comes into her eyesight.

“How was lunch?”

“It was the normal kind of catch up.” She tells him. “Nothing too exciting.” And god was that the truth.

“Take any pictures of you in your dress? I know you look gorgeous in it.”

“Just one.” She answers after a moment. “And thank you again for it. You didn’t have to.”

“You don’t need to thank me for getting you something.”

She has to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying anything to that, because she did. She really did. But what she really needed was to make sure he didn’t feel like he had to buy her anything ever again. And that would require a conversation, an apology, that she couldn’t give over the phone.

“Do you want to come over tonight? I’ll cook dinner.” She offers.

“You come over to mine and I’ll grill the main while you cook the sides?”

She laughs at the familiar offer but gives a nod of her head. “Sounds perfect.” She pulls her phone away from her ear, looking at the time. “Let me get dressed and I’ll stop by the store and be over.”

“Wear the dress? And maybe bring some more clothes over.”

“I think you have about half my closet at your house.”

“But not your full closet yet.”

She shakes her head. “I’ll try to be over in an hour.”

“With more clothes?” Cody says, hopefully.

“I’ll see you soon, Cody.”

“That’s not an answer. But I’ll see you soon, drive safe.”

Hanging up, she shakes her head, a wide smile spreading across her face. It fades a little when she catches sight of the dress. She wants to kick it underneath her bed, make up some excuse to Cody about it getting stolen or going missing, but she forces herself to put it back on.

As she touches up her makeup, the dress seems to feel heavier and heavier, her neck feels bare but her stomach twists at the thought of putting back on the necklace he gave her a little after a month being together, it twists more when she considers not putting it on.

Everything seems to weigh a ton, the dress, the necklace, her mind, and she’s unable to escape it. Music in the car doesn’t take any of the weight away, the cute baby in produce that giggles and waves at her doesn’t, and parking in Cody’s driveway certainly doesn’t either.

She sits there for a minute, hands gripping the wheel, head pressed against, giving herself just a minute, before she takes a deep breath and gets out of her car.

It’s a single bag of groceries that she has to grab from the backseat, but her lips twitch into a smile as she knows what Cody’s reaction to her carrying it will be.

Knocking on the front door, she doesn’t have to wait long before it’s opening and her boyfriend is smiling at her, leaning in and kissing her in greeting before a hand is being pressed to her lower back and she’s being ushered into the house.

“You really don’t have to knock, babe.”

She shakes her head, “I do.”

“You have a key.”

“Yeah, so I can get your mail and check on things while you're gone.”

His eyes roll, “and to let yourself in and out whenever you please.”

Her mouth opens to protest, but his eyes catch on the grocery bag in her hand and his whole expression changes and she has to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning as he immediately reaches for it.

“What is this? Why didn’t you text me?”

“It’s stuff for dinner and it’s maybe a pound.”

His offended look grows worse, fingers tugging at the bag and she lets him take it from her. “I’m supposed to bring in the groceries.”

“It’s one bag. And what do you think I do when you're gone and I’m restocking your fridge and cupboards or when I do my own grocery shopping?”

A look of horror flashes across his face. “This is like my worst nightmare.”

She laughs at his dramatics and his offended look transforms into a grin at the sound.

He’s quick to put the bag on the kitchen counter before kissing her again. It’s a far longer kiss than the one he gave her before and she melts into it, into him. Their lips move together lazily for a few minutes, separating with slightly tingly and slick lips.

“This looks gorgeous on you.” Cody murmurs, giving her a peck on the lips as his fingers give a small tug at her dress.

Her smile fades at the compliment, guilt hitting her all over again. “Actually I wanted to talk to you about that.”

He straightens a bit at her words, hand squeezing her waist.

“I’m sorry.”

His head jerks back at the soft words, confusion overtaking his concern.

She swallows, thickly. “I never meant to make you feel like you needed to buy me things and I’m sorry. That was never my intention, Cody. And I want to be better.”

“Babe, what are you talking about?”

“I-” she starts and is cut off by his hands gently cupping her face.

“I have never felt like I needed to buy you anything. Have I wanted to? Hell yeah, that’s why I’m constantly doing it, but you have never once even hinted at wanting me to buy something for you. You fight me on paying for everything. You tried giving me two dollars for a pack of gum when you forgot your wallet and that’s been the only thing you have ever asked me to buy you.”

“You never let me pay you back for that.” She mumbles.

He huffs out a laugh, one his hands slipping back down to her waist. “And I’m never going to. I like getting you stuff. This dress, your necklace, that art print you pretended not to like.”

Blood rushes to her cheeks at the mention of the art print. It had been so early in their relationship and she hadn’t thought he could read her so easily, but he had, and a few days later the art print had arrived at her door.

“I love doing it. It’s taking care of you and I love doing that, it’s important to me. Hell, I wish you’d ask me to buy things, even just a pack of gum.”

She softens, guilt no longer festering but disappearing. She knew he liked taking care of people, but it was different hearing him say it. Hearing him say that he wanted to take care of her.

“I’ve never really had anyone that wanted to take care of me, not like this.”

His face softens, his lips brushing against hers for a second. “Well, I want to.” He presses their lips together again, firmer this time. “Now, you're gonna sit on the deck, I’m gonna make you a drink and start dinner and you're going to relax and talk to me about whatever you want.”

“Okay.” She says and the utter joy and relief on Cody’s face rids any lasting guilt that was trying to cling to her.

[sam-is-my-safe-word]

Second Base With Sammy

Guys. Guuuuuyyyyyssss. I wrote some Sam/Reader!!

Holy fuck right. ANDDDDD. There is NO smut. None. There is 1 reference to tits & that's it.

I know. I'm stunned. I didn't think I was capable.

But the world's bestest co-host (suck it every other podcast :P) @talltalesandbedtimestories joined me on another word count challenge and laid down a kick ass idea.

Sooooo ready for some soft Sam? Course you are.

Also a podfic cos again, Sandra is just The Best, Y'all

*Click*

“What was that?”

“The door closed behind me.”

“What do you mean? I thought you had your foot there.”

“You said ‘look at this,’ so I stepped forwards!”

“Okay, just back up and open it.”

*Thud*

“It’s locked.”

“What.”

“Yep. Locked or stuck. Or… Oh god, Sam. There’s a latch on the outside, remember.”

“Shit.”

“Shit.”

“Okay, let me try something.” 

There’s shuffling as Sam tries to squeeze past you without knocking anything over. You press yourself backwards into the wire shelves behind you, trying to take up as little space as possible, but Sam’s body can’t pass between you and the other wall without someone getting hurt. 

As it is, you can feel every fiber of his shirt, every line of his muscles. 

“Fuck. Um. Do you think you can kick the door open?” 

You laugh, only a tiny hint of hysteria in it. 

“Yeah, Sam. My 150 pounds of pure iron muscle will just kick straight through a steel latch. No worries. Don’t even need a run up.” 

You don’t have to shine your flashlight on him to see his bitchface. 

“Okay, duck down, then.” 

“What?” 

“Crouch down. I’ll step over you and get to the door that way.” 

You try to crouch but your chest is literally wedged against Sam’s. 

“Uhh. Fuck. Um. You’re gonna have to go back that way for me to kneel down. Who designed this fucking place, anyway?” 

Sam blows out all his breath and you feel him tense his stomach, sucking it in as much as possible. Unfortunately that expands his chest and you end up with a faceful of Sam tiddies. 

“Whoa, Sam. Take me to dinner before you shove the girls in my face like that. Or would it be guys?” 

Sam stutters and almost wrenches the two of you apart, stepping backwards to his previous space and letting you draw a full breath again. You know it’s a trick of your brain, but it’s starting to feel like there isn’t enough air with the door closed. 

“Okay, crouching down. Try not to kick me in the head, yeah? I’ve had enough of you in my face today.” 

You snort to yourself as you crouch and tuck, making sure to drop your head as far as you can. Sam mutters something to himself and you see his flashlight track over you, the floor and to the door. He shuffles his feet close to you, checks the distance again and then steps over you. It leaves him standing almost flush against the door; you had only taken a single step forwards when the door closed. 

“Hey, can you, like… shuffle backwards? I guess you can stand up now. I just need a little room to move if I’m gonna get us out of here.” 

You don’t move, skin crawling at the thought of moving further into the dark space, away from the door and the air. 

“Hey, y’okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going. I’m gonna stay down here, less of a target for your size thirteens here.” 

Your voice is tight to your ears and you hear Sam turn, see his light sweep over you. You shine your own flashlight into the dark and start to shuffle into it. 

“Just get us out of here, Sam. Please.” 

“Sure thing, sit tight.” 

You make yourself as small as you can in the back corner of the room, keeping your light on the door for Sam, and watch him try everything apart from unscrewing the hinges to free you both, to no avail. No matter how hard he shoves, punches or even kicks the door, the latch outside holds strong. 

“Damnit.” Sam is breathing hard now and your lizard brain is screaming that he’s using up the oxygen. 

“Okay, I’ll text Dean and he’ll come and get us.” 

Sam pulls his phone out and starts typing. 

“How long will that take?” 

You feel dizzy. 

“I don’t know. Probably not more than an hour, though.”

Despite your efforts, a sob breaks through your clenched teeth. 

“Hey, whoa. It’s okay. It’s not that long.” 

You shake your head, closing your eyes against Sam’s flashlight. 

“Are you claustrophobic?”

Sam sounds worried now. You can hear him shuffling around, turning to face you properly, maybe. 

“I wasn’t…” 

You let the thought trail off. You truly weren’t claustrophobic until you were trapped in this tiny space with someone who took up all the room. Not that it was Sam’s fault. You just wanted to be out of here. 

Sam’s hand on your knee shocks you. When you look at him, he’s on his knees next to you, trying to make himself as small as possible. 

“It’s okay. Just breathe.”

“I– I can’t.” 

“Yes, you can. Here.” 

Sam takes one of the hands you have wrapped around your legs and presses it into his chest, keeping it in place with his. He’s warm under your hand, muscle expanding and relaxing as he breathes.

“Feel my heartbeat?” 

You nod, hoping Sam can see you in the glow of his flashlight on the floor next to you both. 

“Focus on that; breathe with me. In–” 

Sam’s chest moves under your hand as he inhales deeply. You close your eyes, focus on the thump-thump of his heart and breathe in shakily. 

“That’s in. Now out.” 

Again his chest moves and a soft whoosh of air crosses your face as Sam exhales. 

“That’s it. Doing so good. Keep following my breaths.”  

His voice is low and tender and it’s easy to follow his instructions. He feels good under your hand, solid but soft. Someone you can rely on. 

Footsteps outside signal Dean’s arrival and Sam helps you to your feet. 

“Since I let you get to second base, I think you owe me dinner now.” 

You can see the genuine smile on his face. 

The door opens with a rush of air. 

“If you idiots wanted a room together, you could have said. Didn’t have to lock yourselves in a closet.” 

[lioa7]

struggles

me: Hey I wanna draw this cool design from fnaf jr! My brain: mangle right? me: yeah! I always loved the mangle and their jr design is super cool, I wanna do that! My Brian: Ok then, mangle it is! me: YEah!! from Jr right? My Brain: mangle me: From jr... right?

My brain: pole bear.

[nullfier]

strange behaviour from the arcane fandom when a woman that has relations with another woman goes down a darker path and people condemn her whereas if she was a man in love with another man this would be lapppped up as “toxic yaoi”. please get a grip

[fierrochase-falafel]

My (very late) complicated take on Deadpool and Wolverine

So I watched Deadpool and Wolverine last week (I wrote this literally last year and just ended up...not posting it for some reason), as a somewhat casual Marvel fan who has somewhat followed the MCU, and I have some...hot takes? I think?

Firstly, a disclaimer, because I do not want to get flamed for this: I know plenty of people will disagree with me, and that's fine. You can think I'm overreacting or that I'm plain wrong on your own time, and if you really want me to reconsider any statements I make (although half of this is just feeling to be honest) then I am open to changing my mind based on other people's explanations. For context- I've not seen a Deadpool film before although I knew a bit about what he was like in the Spider-Man comics, and I was a fan of the X-Men '92 series (saw the first 2 seasons as we didn't have the DVDs for the rest) and all of X-Men evolution. I have read bits and pieces of a Wolverine encyclopedia, if that means anything, and I've looked into other reviews and done a bit of digging into other people''s responses to this film. Really I'm not here to comment on this as a Marvel fan but as a fan of media in general, and honestly just as a person with my own nitpicky reservations and who's a bit fed up with the MCU.

If I sound exceedingly harsh, please just click away. It's not worth getting into an argument over this, especially when I'm not a dedicated enough fan. Finally you can get to enjoy these films without having to listen to randos on the internet like me, and I can vent my petty frustrations seperately and we can all exist in peace.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deadpool and Wolverine is hardly the worst film to come out of the MCU since Endgame, actually it really is one of the better ones if not the best one lately, but I really wanted to enjoy this film more than I did and I am trying to figure out why I didn't. Perhaps I am not the intended audience, or I am not familiar enough with Deadpool, and those are all fair points. I'm going to come at it from an angle that goes more into it though because this isn't *really* about Deadpool, this is about the MCU. That being said, let's get into it.

So...there is a point at which you realise something about the MCU as a whole if you hadn't before, and that is that it is a corporation. It's been hard not to realise that recently, with the volume of stuff it has been churning out no matter how subpar. While Deadpool and Wolverine is far more interesting than, say, Love and Thunder, I couldn't shake the feeling that despite this actually being more than a soulless mishmash, there's an underlying air I don't think I can unsee in the MCU that taints everything for me, and it's that there is nothing new to really say. There is no real diversity of opinion or line of thought- there are good guys who protect the world as it is, and bad guys who want to change it. For instance:

To me, an outsider of sorts, the TVA (basically functioning as the Time Police, although this is contentious) are shown to have a ridiculous amount of power that some guy Paradox can just build a time ripper that can end any timeline?? There are layers to this, but the bottom line is, no member of the TVA should be able to procure something like that and use it just because they feel like it, and quite frankly the unchecked power of the TVA as an organisation is unsettling and frightening. Then, Deadpool tries to fight this part of the TVA to stop them from killing his timeline, but then the real villain Cassandra Nova enters the fray with the intention to destroy every timeline because...she wants ominpotence? I don't know, these villain motivations aren't getting any stronger. And then Deadpool and Wolverine stop her, and Paradox gets arrested, and wow what a great ending! Except what feels missing...the lack of questioning or distrust surrounding the authority the TVA has, which was the root cause of this mess in the first place. But Marvel will never morally or philosophically question the extent of authority a system has over it's people or all of humanity, and will never really explore an avenue of changing what is flawed about the system. The problem, to them, isn't the power, but whether it's held by 'good' people. Paradox being arrested solves the conflict with the TVA, because his intentions were destructive and aimed to use his power for destructive purposes, but it wouldn't have mattered if he were a good guy now, would it?

This is the philosophy that pervades all of the MCU- power belongs with the good guys who protect the world from the bad guys. The issue is never the power itself, or the system that allows for such blatant misuses of it, because to question established systems (or actually address any of the pitfalls of American capitalism) doesn't reflect their needs as a corporation worth lots of money. When this was previously brought up in the form of the Sokovia accords (although "putting the powerful people under strict government regulations" doesn't strike me as utopic in any way either), correct me if I'm wrong but it had barely any consequences to future films. Infinity war happened, more fights where there is no human intervention whatsoever, and then the accords are just repealed off-screen. And this goes on to feel like a very unsustainable world, one where there's not much joy to be derived, as there is never really hope for changing the powers and systems that control our lives. The TVA can shred your timeline in an instant, supernatural fights can wipe out your cities at any moment, but nobody cares about the damage or will question it- your lives are in the hands of heroes who are 'good' and make funny quips I guess so you know you can trust them. Wolverine at the end of this film is told by a TVA member that his timeline cannot be restored as what happened made him the man he is now, and he's just seemingly fine with that and they go eat shawarma. A whole universe of deaths that he's been guilty about the whole film, that he's wanted to get back, but I don't feel like we get a proper resolution to his grief at all and they just become collateral damage to the plot in the end even after being shown how much he loved them. Everyone says thank you to the Time Police, trusting they know what's best and will do the right thing, and moves on as if this wasn't an unsettling encounter at all.

Now I know I might've gotten details about the TVA wrong, but I couldn't sit through all of Loki, okay? I was lost the minute we got to girl-Loki being symbolic of Loki's gender fluidity and also they kissed? Speaking of that though...another thing I found disappointing with Deadpool and Wolverine was the queerness aspect. Deadpool is, in the comics atleast, pansexual, and I know Ryan Reynolds said he was into exploring that, and trust me this film is filled with queer things being said. HOWEVER. There is a difference in the way straight romance and queer romance is portrayed in the film; that was clear to me when I left the cinema. There are plenty of jokes involving Deadpool making very homoerotic comments towards Wolverine, or talk of pegging the TVA officers, or even shouting out "the gays" in a speech, but it is not given anywhere NEAR the same weight as his attraction/love for Vanessa. And this wouldn't necessarily be an issue (after all, sexual attraction doesn't have to be serious) if it weren't that everything he said when going off on a tangent were gay, but everything he did seriously was straight. There was something distinctly noticeable about it, and honestly it felt like being queerbaited despite the fact I never even expected to hear about pegging in this film. To me, I care about creators committing to showing a main character man experiencing attraction to another man with the same weight and value given to it, verbally and non-verbally, jokingly and unironically, as you would to him experiencing attraction to a woman. Anyone could watch this and take all of these to be ironic gay jokes even if they aren't, and I don't think this counts as committed representation of a minority. Not that I was looking for it in this film, but to be shown the potential of being represented in some manner onscreen and then realising it wouldn't really be taken as seriously as any straight characters did quite hurt. Maybe that's just how Deadpool is, maybe I should never have wanted anything more substantial... The internet went crazy shipping Deadpool and Wolverine despite them never being taken for a serious potential couple, and I think that's what they wanted.

The thing is, I understand many aspects of why people liked this film, tying itself up. Wade Wilson wanted to matter, and by hyping himself up as Marvel Jesus and bringing back so many forgotten characters to the screen, he mattered by lifting them up and showing that they mattered too. Many of the jokes were funny, like the meta ones about Marvel's downfall and honestly I laughed at the pegging one too and some others (although I will say: Marvel making fun of how bad Marvel is lately does have a limit given you guys caused this downfall in the first place). And, to be fair, I'm sure the TVA thing has some explanations in Loki or upcoming plot points that might change everything compared to what I know. This movie was, in many ways, very fun. The fact that it had so much going for it is half of what left me feeling so dissatisfied, because despite epitomising many of the things Marvel are positively known for, I didn't really care or feel anything at the end at all. Bringing back various forgotten characters for a last hurrah is great and all but when it's all for a not very nuanced villain and when none of the heroes see anything wrong with the TVA and all of that...I don't know, it feels bleak. Watching these films I don't feel inspired or hopeful, I only feel bleak and apathetic, and I know I can just go watch other films (which is what I've been doing) but I don't understand why we all go back to the cinemas to watch the same nail being hammered into the ground with the next Marvel movie. Even when you have reason to expect difference, the underlying nature of it is the same. The only significant thing I see happening is even more characters being ushered into the already complicated Multiverse, often for cameos and jokes reliant on nostalgia and endless referential humour. Oh, and Marvel Studios getting more of a monopoly over superhero stories, that too.

The older X-men TV shows I watched and, even more recently, the Spiderverse films felt like they had so much more depth or commentary to them, so I know superhero media isn't doomed to be this way, not now or ever, so I hope we can take this as a sign to ask for more from our media in terms of storylines, queer characters, and messaging. Something new, something inspiring, and something that feels like it's made not just because it was a smart business decision. A lot of these things I recommend finding from smaller creators and lesser-known artists, but I feel as though we should start to look for this from Marvel too. I get I'm not a Marvel genius or an X-men genius, or even a Deadpool genius, so it isn't really my place, but I still think it's worth asking for more because if their profit lies with the realisations of our passion and with revolution, then that's where the company will go. As a reviewer, this is how I feel.

[fvckw4d]

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

[buwheal]

NOW YOU GOTTA GIVE US ADDISPAM!!!! please?????????????????? *i also flutter my lashes, do jazz hands, and confetti flies out*

Errrmmm that one is kind of a doozy... I dont even completely know what i want BS Spam to look like, in all honesty.. maybe. If i figure it out. For now sorry lol.