#You have a guy who is destined to be an awful abusive person. And he thinks hes the worst he already hates himself so much

[hajihiko]

you read homestuck?? u seem like the type to have Opinions on dirk and/or dave /lh

Dirk was done fucking dirty by the narrative post-epilogue and I'm never gonna stop being angry about it

[theallianceofcelestials]

Welp, here we go again, lol. Moon (potentially) dying again.

I did see many people talking about, and has been mentioned in the MGaFS the potential of merging the two Moons. Ya know, to get the best of both worlds, I guess.

This might have a couple issues, especially given the current mental state of Newmoon and Oldmoon's general issues. I don't think combining Newmoon's apathy and lack of familial care and Oldmoon's ruthlessness and line crossing tendencies is a good idea. I mean, just imagine this ruthless, apathetic individual crossing all and every line, not even caring if their dear family members get caught in the crossfire. Awful.

And even if, let's say, that doesn't happen, who's to say this newer version, this Fullmoon, would even care about anyone? They'd have two lifetimes' worth of memories, both of which would tell them they'll go insane and die either way. And then that brings the question. Which is the better? Being insane at the beggining and then gaining some semblance of sanity, with occasional fallbacks, or being sane in the beggining only to then break down and lose it in the end and die?

We saw the first example with Oldmoon. Him being not the sanest of individuals at the start of his lifetime, lashing out at his fellow victim because he was the only one there to blame for their unfortunate situation (them sharing a body). And then later becoming better and better, until he actually cared and tried to do better by Sun, (even if he failed a lot). And we all know how that story ended. Him dead.

And we have an example to the latter with Newmoon, who started out his life sane, and even friendly, only to fall into this dark pit of apathy and selfishness, potentially because of some sort of corruption/virus (possibly shown in thumbnails). His story did not end yet, but with how things are going, he'll probably die.

As Ruin said in yesterday's MGAFS episode, are all Moons destined to go insane?

And even if not, then we still have so many moral questions about this, some of which even Monty brought up. Should the two Moons be merged together, would that be killing two people to make an entirely new one? And how would that new person react to the fact they can only exist because two people were killed for them?

Or would you only be killing one individual and fusing some of their essence into the other? One way or another, at least one person's oil would dry on your hands.

And would this person even have the memories of whom they were forged from? Would they remember dying TWICE? Would they remember being born two times before this one? Which version would they try to imitate? Or would they cycle between "I'm going to make your life a living hell!" to "Sorry if you'll be collateral!" to being gruff but caring and overly protective and unhealthily attached, to being best bro ever? Phases of the moon and all that. Would these cycles just repeat eachother randomly? What then? How could we be sure then that this person could be trusted, when they don't even care about their own loved ones at times?

We have a person who remembers dying multiple times, and being brought back the merge of two people. Eclipse questions if he could even be called Eclipse, being a copy of Solar with the memories of a dead man.

And if they don't have the memories, then wouldn't that just be another Newmoon situation? Wouldn't that just be another random guy waking up in a corpse that belongs to someone else, and be expected to take up the same name and same position as before? We can see how that went, clearly not good, even if Newmoon used to love and adore his family.

And what will this newly born person do once he watches the whole chanel? How will they go on knowing one version of them was a dick, who while loved his family, struggled to show that properly and was even downright abusive at times, while the other version of them was sweet and loving, turned insane and selfish with only one desire that hurt all those around him? Will they be afraid that if they follow either of these examples they'll die? Oldmoon died in his head after one last gesture of trying to change, while Newmoon, while not dead yet, was thrown out of the family, somewhat reasonably given recent episodes holy shit, and was hunted down at the word of his brother. These are not really things I'd want to see if I knew I had predecessors.

Would this person even attempt growing close to anyone, when all they've seen is either them being insane at the beggining, going insane and dying either way? Would there even be a point of becoming someone, when you'll inevitably die? And cause harm, again, to these people a deep part of your Frankensteined code loves and cares about deeply? Is there even a point to existing when all you've seen is examples of people with YOUR name and FACE dying and hurting others and themselves? Is there even a reason to try, when all you have are negative examples?

And if this Fullmoon doesn't happen, then what will? Will Newmoon be saved? (despite that being highly unlikely, given the whole collateral thing) Will Oldmoon be brought back? (which, while I do miss him, I love Newmoon, and he deserves the rest, especially given the world already moved on, so it'd be just a cruelty to throw him into the deep water) Will we just fucking lose Moon alltogether??? (unlikely, given it's the Sun AND Moon Show, not Sun and the Family show, but ?????)

And if Oldmoon is brought back, then what? Will Newmoon die? I don't want that. :( I love them both.

Or will they switch places, so Newmoon's the one locked in the deepest part of their mindscape, forever frozen? (until reactivated by someone going in there that is)

What now?

My friend I mentioned in my previous post, has said, and I quote "Do we always have to mourn one Moon for the sake of the other?" and by the looks of it, it seems she'll be right.

(I just want the both of them man T-T T_T)

[gemwing2010]

The Cuphead Show: Dreamstones Edition — Henchman TV Tropes

The Devil’s affable right hand demon and a Friendly Enemy to the Dreamstones and their group. Despite being a demon with a Adorkable Simpleton Voice, Henchman is a Nice Guy who is a lot smarter than he looks and sounds as he always serves as the Devil’s confident and tries to keep his boss’ temper in check all the while supporting his evil schemes. On hand, Henchman does show standards when it concerns the Devil letting his personal vendettas against the Cup Brothers and the Dreamstones getting the best of him.

Adorkable: He does have his moments.

Affably Evil:

Just like in the canon cartoon, he is genuinely friendly despite being the Devil’s most loyal minion. In the fanfiction, he is most especially a very affable Friendly Enemy towards the Dreamstones girls and their friends.

Whenever Katie gets kidnapped and forcefully dragged back into the Underworld, Henchman does everything he can to make her feel comfortable and tries to assure her that the Devil’s not so bad once she gets to know him better.

He’s practically a surrogate uncle to Eira whenever the Devil kidnaps her and tries to forecefully to make his daughter.

Catchphrase: In the fanfic adaptation, he seems to have a handful.

“Dah, hey/hiya, Boss!”

The running gag where he pops up and adds in “Head” whenever the Devil mentions about Cuphead as simply “that Cup”.

“Dah, Boss wants to see ya” whenever he informs Anubis or King Dice about the Devil demanding them to come see him.

He pretty much says “Aw jeez” quite a lot whenever he’s nervous or when things get seriously bad such as the Devil resorts to release the Four Horsemen or is about to get really angry.

Foil: He is this to Aster the Star Sprigon. They’re both purple in colour and both sweet and friendly. However despite being a Nice Guy, Henchman is still the Devil’s Minion with an F in Evil while Aster willingly defects to the Dreamstones side after having enough of the Devil abusing and threatening her.

Friend to All Children: Despite being a demon, he has a surprisingly good way with babies.

Hidden Depths:

Him being a lot smarter than he looks , counselling the Devil and his vast knowledge of all the names of Santa’s reindeer aside, Henchman has a soft spot for cats, mainly kittens and likes to sleep with a teddy in bed.

He’s very good with kids, mainly babies as evidenced when he managed to get baby Eira to stop crying and bottle feed her with ease. Huh, guess having an Odd Friendship with a Friendly Enemy must run in the family.

Nice Guy:

Odd Friendship:

He is on friendly terms with the Dreamstones and bares zero grudges towards Aster and Cyra after they had defected to their side.

He most sociable with Misterie such as enjoying their vacation at the same destination with Quardratus at the end of the adaptation of The Devil’s Revenge.

Running Gag: Whenever the Devil mentions about Cuphead simply as “that Cup”, Henchman can’t help but add in, “Head” either on or offscreen, followed up an exasperated Devil responding, “Thank you, Henchman”.

Sweet Tooth: He enjoys sweets as much as the Devil.

Trademark Favourite Food: He really enjoys peanut and jelly sandwiches.

Villain Respect:

[artzychic27]

Ride the Cyclone AU?

Our host for the evening is Master Fu, a mechanical fortune teller who reveals that he will soon die due to rats chewing through his cables

Master Fu used to be able to predict the future, specifically the exact moment of a person’s death, but the carnival set him to “Family Fun Mode,” meaning he could only repeat fairground advertisements. For example: Ride the Cyclone

He begins to tell the tale of two classes from the same school going to the carnival as part of a field trip. On a dare, one class has to ride the Cyclone, and when Mendeleieve’s class loses, they ride it… To their deaths

Those students are Aurore, a stressed out perfectionist; Ismael, an angry boy from Pakistan; Reshma, a kind wealthy girl who seems to have everything going for her; Denise, a muscular student with a ton of responsibilities; Simon, a tech-loving redhead; Marc, a shy writer; Mireille, a seemingly cheerful girl; Cosette, constantly neglected at home by their parents; Jean, a bubbly thespian; and Lacey, a thrill seeker

The ten of them arrive in limbo where they are greeted by Master Fu who tells them of their demise and then announces they are in a literal game of life and death

They must compete for the chance to return to the living

Moments later, they are introduce to the eleventh victim, a mystery girl dubbed only Jane Doe by the police since no family came to claim her headless body when it was found

The competition begins

Our first contestant is Aurore, who calls herself the "white sheep" of her family. She inadvertently insults the other teens for their lives and compares herself to each of them.

She sings that she deserves to return to life as she's destined to do great things and she’s What The World Needs. There’s also some undertone of her parents putting a ton of pressure on her and parts about her brother seeing her for who she truly is

The next contestant is Marc Anciel, a promising young writer who dreams of having a man to love him, but is instead stuck being single

He sings about his desire to meet a guy who shares his interests, to hold him during his darkest moments, and most importantly, to love him as he fears the day he will die alone with no one to hold when he starts to see the light.

The third contestant is Ismael Prisk, a transgender Pakistani boy living with his neglectful, transphobic, and emotionally abusive mother

He alternates between autotune-heavy gangsta rap about his hatred towards his mother and a ballad to his first real friend, Reshma

The fourth contestant is Jean Duparc, dubbed, “the most romantic boy in Paris.” His life was going wonderfully- He got the lead in the spring musical, got his boyfriend out of an abusive relationship, and his dad met someone. He wants to go back and see all of it happen

His song is a show-tune style that quickly changes to a heartbreaking lament about how he will miss the best moments of his life if he doesn’t escape limbo

The fifth contestant is Lacey Greene, a girl who wants to go back so she can take care of her brothers

She goes off on a sarcastic rant about how some of her classmates’ desires are so dumb before singing an emotional ballad about being the oldest sibling and the stress put on her at such a young age when her parents died.

Number six is Cosette Bellamy, one of the most miserable students in the class. Don’t let appearances fool you, Cosette is about as upset as they come. Their mother is an awful women with no regard for their feelings, their siblings treat them like dirt, and their father hardly says a thing, only offering comforting smiles

Cosette laments about how their family is anything but perfect and how they want to go back so they can finally say what needs to be said and fuck any consequences. They’re not going to die without letting those assholes get what’s coming to them.

Number seven is Simon O’Connor, your normal everyday demiboy who enjoys making music videos and lives with his aunt because his mother is an ass. He can’t imagine leaving Denise in limbo and would rather they live again

So, their song is a love ballad about the first moment he fell in love with Denise, from when they defended them against some bullies from school to when they held Simon as the class plummeted to their deaths

Number Eight is Denise Cabello, the physically strongest, but emotionally weakest. Their parents over work them at the restaurant, they have no time for their twin sister, and they’d rather let Simon continue living since his life is better

Their song is similar to Simon’s, but downplays Denise’s qualities until they break down crying and Simon is there to comfort them

Number nine is Reshma Laghari, one of the kindest rich girls you’ll ever meet. She starts of simple at first, downplaying her extravagant life and saying her family is just like any other, and she’s like any other girl… A girl with an obsession for magical girl manga, and a lesbian to boot, making her the odd one out at social scenes

She sings about her life as the black sheep everywhere she goes, from being an otaku, to having girls avoid her at parties so they don’t catch “gay,” and being the only Indian in a room of rich white kids.

While the teens sing about their hopes, dreams and fantasies, Jane Doe sings about despair

Jane's headless body was found in the wreckage, and she was assumed to be a member of the class. She was decapitated in the accident and her body was unclaimed. Her spirit has no memory of who she was and no idea what will happen to her in the afterlife.

After hearing Jane's tale, the students rally together and hold a birthday party for her featuring a rewritten birthday song, sharing a tender moment with each other

Finally, Mireille sings of her feelings towards her family, how her father treats her and her brother, how her mom had been holding on by a thread lately, and how all her repressed anger had seemed dropped away in the moment the roller coaster derailed

To her, it felt like being weightless on a cloud made of sugar

At last, it is time for the vote, but Fu changes the rules. He tells Aurore that she alone will get the deciding vote

Having a crisis of conscience, she she calls for a vote, saying that Jane is the only one who doesn't have memories to take to the afterlife with her, and the others decide to send her back.

Giving them all a warm “thank you,” Jane steps through a portal and starts a new life as Zoé Lee, the daughter of a tech mogul and the Style Queen

Eventually, Fu shorts out, repeating "Ride the Cyclone" before the remaining teens hold hands as their spirits travel to whatever comes next

[nikialexx]

Happy to explain! Sirius and Snape have very different outward personalities but very similar arcs- both growing up in abusive households, latching onto one particular friend, both being emotionally stunted in adulthood due to trauma and making much of their decisions around that aforementioned friend. Both are petty, hold grudges, loyal, brave, vindictive. They both treat Harry based on how they feel about his parents. They both die never truly having fully lived their life.

(i actually wrote the entire response to this earlier and then lost it and i have never wanted to fling myself into the sun more than i did in that moment) but hi anon! so sorry this took a while. I'll continue under the cut cause my reply got kinda long😅

also general disclaimer that we're not going to be unnecessarily rude about either of these characters here, since i know a lot of people are very passionate about them one way or the other :)

Yeah, anon, I totally get where you're coming from here. I actually have very vague recollections of having had this conversation before but I don't remember where?? So this probably isn't the first time I'm comparing Sirius to Snape but I'm glad you gave me an opportunity to do it again.

I think those differences in their outward personalities is actually a nature vs nurture type situation. I've always said that Slytherin kids aren't immediately inherently evil (obviously), but rather victims of a larger system that actively works against them. You take a bunch of kids in their most important formative years and tell them they're destined to be evil and awful and essentially give every non-slytherin student a free pass to target them while even some of the teachers encourage these biases, and really, who wouldn't have this as their villain origin story?

Sirius and Snape both came from abusive households so Hogwarts was their only chance at getting away from that, and in that case, Snape was doomed from the very beginning. Sirius, comparatively, basically had the entirety of Gryffindor house to combat his more unsavory traits. He had friends who were good and kind and amazing and genuinely cared about his wellbeing, so he, in turn, grew to be a good and kind person. That's what he was surrounded by for like... 9 out of 12 months in the year. Snape went from one bad situation to another, continuously surrounded by people who were equally petty and vindictive and often cruel. What else was he supposed to become?

And I can hear you saying: but what about Lily?

Lily was only one person and I think it's a bit unfair to expect her to single-handedly combat the entire system that is House Prejudice and Rivalry at Hogwarts. Lily and Snape being placed in different houses, not to mention two houses with a personal history of being very anti each other, immediately drew a wall between them.

And then, what did the 'good' side ever really offer Snape? Sirius found happiness with the good guys, but Snape? Aside from literally only Lily, they all hated him and bullied him relentlessly. From his perspective, the supposed bad guys were the only ones offering him anything worthwhile or seeing any actual value in him.

So yeah, i see it. Two characters who are really similar in a lot of ways but had drastically different experiences that shaped who they would become.

(And it's also interesting how you laid out their non-personality similarities in the way their story arcs parallel each other almost exactly. I don't think I've ever really paid attention to that before.)

This was a fun little thought exercise lol thank you for this anon and im sorry again for taking so long to reply <3

[sadunicorn47]

The Savior ~ A Loki x Reader story~

Summary: Loki's previous trip to earth as D.B Cooper was just a simple prank amongst brother; there was absolutely no hidden agenda behind it whatsoever; certainly was not a way for Loki to take a peek at his so called destined soulmate. Y/N has not had an easy life, and has been hurt by the world way too many times. Can she trust her destined soulmate, or is she too far gone to love and be loved? This story is full of love, heartbreak as well as whole lot of mischief and many talks about past abuse.

Chapter 4: The battle of Newyork

~New York, 2012~

As Loki looked at the chitauri coming in from the portal in the sky, he took a moment to try and understand how he led himself in this situation. Ever since the death of his soulmate,  his life had followed a serious of events that only caused him pain. He found out he was adopted, only to then see how his father allowed Thor to peruse a relationship with a Midgardian when he was not, and as a result of that she had died and he could not save her. He truly had meant to die the day he let go of his brother's hands, but after being caught and tortured by Thanos he found himself on a mission of  destruction that he did not want in the first place.

" Stop this brother! take a look around you" 

" It's too late" Yelled Loki. 

While the attack on New York was a horrid experience for many, for experiment A1A and The winter solider it was an opportunity. Too many Hydra members where focused on protecting the base and stopping it from collapsing onto them and not many where focused on them. The winter solider looked at the young women besides him and gave her the look that told her it was time. Time to escape out of this hell hole. 

He had quickly snapped the necks of the 5 Hydra agents that stood guard and freed Y/N from her experimental stand.

" Let's go" he yelled. 

They where able to sneak around without notice, and where incredibly close to their freedom, but right before they could step a foot outside; a gun shot was fired! she heard her only friend yell as he fell to the ground.

" No" she shouted

" Go one without me" 

" No, I am not leaving you" 

" Y/N this is your only chance" The solider said in pain

" Your the only family I have left, I will not leave you" 

Before, the Hydra agent who shot him come closer Y/N started projecting her healing abilities with all the strength she could muster doing her best to close the wound in her friend's chest. The hydra agent however quickly caught up to them and pulled Y/n by her hair dragging her away from the solider. Thankfully she had healed him enough for him to gather his strengths and take on the agent. 

" Thank you" The solider told his cell mate

" Let's just get out of here" 

With that they both ran looking for any shelter.

Unfortunately they had found themselves escaping  from one battle to another, in front of them was a group of what appeared to be super heroes fighting aliens that where coming out of the sky; and by the looks of it they where no where near close to winning. 

" Just our luck" the solider said with a sigh.

" We have to help them" You said 

" Your joking, right? that is a suicide mission" 

" Those guys are injured and they can't keep fighting with this state" 

" Y/N you are not trained to be on the field" 

" Then guard me while I heal them" 

" You are unbelievable"  He said while shaking his head

you quickly ran to the first person who was down; she was a red head with a very slim figure, but with eyes that could kill. As soon as she saw you she got out her gun and aimed it at you.

" Relax, I am here to help" You said with your hands raised up in defense

" Kid, this is no place to play hero now" she said with a painful grown 

" Just trust me" you said as you placed your arm on her head as you projected your healing abilities once again.

The black widow looked at you with awe in her eyes; not understanding how you had the ability to heal her so well in a few minutes.

" Can you do that for the rest of us?" she asked while looking at skeptically at the guy with the metal arm who was behind me 

" Lead me to them" 

With that The red head who you know know is named Natasha took you to all of the other heroes, you had healed Clint, Tony and even the hulk; and now you where on you way to heal a guy named Steve.

" Steve, come here I have someone who can help you get your strength back" Natasha yelled to Steve.

Steve came towards us confused on what the agent met, but as soon as he came closer to us his face displayed the emotions of pure shock.

" Bucky?" Steve said to the Winter Solider 

" Who the hell is Bucky?" He replied back aggressively

I looked at the both of them confused on the interaction

" Captain, we have no time now, let me heal you" 

" but..."

before he could continue you quickly put your arm on his and started projecting your magic one again, but this time you where getting too tired, but you where still capable of pushing through. You felt a little bit dizzy, but your loyal cell mate had caught you to keep you steady.  Before you could thank him, you saw Tony fly down to you guys.

" Thor has been stabbed badly by Loki, magic hand can you come with me and heal him?"

" She cannot she is already too drained" Bucky replied.

" Hey, no I can" 

" Y/N" Bucky said angrily 

" I can, just trust me"

"I will take that as a yes" Tony said enthusiastically, and he quickly grabbed you and flew you up to the tower where injured god was.

" Thor, I brought you a healer" Tony yelled as he dropped you off and then flew again straight to the battle

You quickly went toward Thor and started doing your thing, but apparently healing a god took too much more energy that you could muster.

" That is okay, you can stop now you do not need to fully heal me" The blond god said. 

feeling dizzy and drained you stopped and fell and sat to the ground.

" Well, well, well look what we have over here" A voice said from behind.

" Kid, get behind me" Thor said and I followed

" you have a pathetic healer on your team now?"  Loki said with anger 

" Leave her be brother, she has no part in this" 

Loki did not listen and quickly started fighting his brother one again. Thor still not fully healed could not fully take on his brother and had fell slightly from the tower, but catching quickly to it's railings.

" I could use you on my team" Loki said to the unknown girl in front of him. He raised his staff and aimed it on to you, but before he could do that you had raised your arms in a protective stance in front of you, reveling your soul mark.

Loki quickly stopped his actions and looked at you in shock.

" How could this be..." before he could finish his sentence Thor had managed to pull himself up again and punch his brother making him black out. 

Thor then looked at your right arm and understood why his brother had paused to hurt you.

[agirldying]

hello, that's my ask about determinism

tw: determinism, csa and i guess victim blaming

sometimes i feel like humans arent really beings who constantly get to make choices. i feel like our brains are just reacting to stimulants and behaving in such a way that a strong enough computer could take every variable into account and predict the future. like some of these games where you kind of give some little guys a personality and put them in an set environment and the game just makes stuff happen based off of that.

it's not something that torments me but sometimes when i overthink it i find it hard to blame my abuser. im convinced that somehow i could have been him. that it would have only taken the right circumstances. and that maybe he only did what he did because he had those circumstances lined up. and he was not even that much older (6 years gap when i was 9). and it makes me feel so bad. like i'm lucky to have the higher ground but i could have been just as disgusting.

what would it have taken for me to be awful, as awful as him? fortunately i didn't actively harm someone as a consequence of the csa but i kissed someone younger once when i was a child and pulled away immediately. i felt really bad ever since. and i keep thinking how close was i to be like him? how much can i blame him? did he just fall into a predictable set of actions that preceded his birth? maybe thousands of year ago what he did was already written and it's not his fault he's just a rabot with extra features and so am i.

i'm not even a spiritual person, it's just an idea that stuck with me for a while and even when i was abused i kept thinking yeah but it's not his fault he did that. he couldn't resist it and i didnt actively stop him. how much is it his fault if he just really really need to get released? it's incomparable i know but sometimes i think to myself how is that any different than me uncontrollably snacking? maybe i could have avoided it but maybe something about the way my day started was such that at 2am today i *had* to snack on chips. and maybe the whole universe since its very creation is such that he *had* to hurt me.

Hi anon,

I definitely see what you're saying about how determinism can almost excuse abuse because it implies that it's not their fault because they had no choice in the end. I think everyone's free to believe what they want, but to me this train of logic sounds harmful to survivors.

I believe that we are all each other living wildly different lives and with different genetic traits and predispositions (similar to solipsism) but I also believe we're all responsible for our behavior in some way. I think of myself in my abuser's shoes and I hate myself for what I've done, or maybe I've been through enough numbing experiences as him to the point where I don't have remorse for or even awareness of the effects of my actions. But there's only so much speculation that can be done, because there are probably factors I'm not considering because I'm simply not living his life.

I find solace in knowing that abuse is often a choice. I think even to times were I trolled or harassed someone else, and I can see how it was a choice I made. I could've just as easily (if not more) just avoided saying or doing anything, but I felt defensive in one way or another and decided to act on that feeling in a spiteful and venomous way. Of course abuse isn't always a choice, sometimes it's on accident, sometimes it's coerced, but I still don't believe that a lack of choice necessarily points to determinism. I think determinism has the ability to strip meaning from reality, which I think is a central underpinning to life, the perpetual search for meaning.

It's easy for trauma survivors like us to speculate about the "meaning" of our abuse, even in a grand, astral context. I've definitely had times where I wondered if my abuser was destined to do this to me, if perhaps he as a entity is present throughout previous and future lifetimes, eternally tormenting me in different contexts. There are a lot of things we don't know about life and how to make sense of it. A lot of it is messy and horrifying. My experience has led me to encounter the problem of evil, which you may have as well. I see life as the perpetual battle against evil, and I try my best to be on the benevolent side.

I digress. Perhaps your abuser's behavior was predictable given his circumstances, but I don't believe that excuses what he's done. Even if we are just robots programmed to do these things, I think it's still wrong. Maybe we should investigate the programmer for writing that part in, you know?

I also resonate with what you said in the last paragraph. It took me a long time to actually blame my abuser and not his alleged trauma. When I was enduring his abuse I would always tell myself that he doesn't know any better, that this was how he was raised to express his love, and yet I wouldn't say that to any other victim. I found it to be internalized victim blaming, or even just trying to deny the harsh reality that I was actually being abused.

I also just want to say the thing my counseling professor says which is that even if you "have" to eat something because you're hungry, you're still making the choice to eat instead of starve to death.

There's a lot to say with this subject so I apologize for rambling but I hope I could help or provide some insight and I'm here if you need anything or want to talk about this more.

[hiddens-eden]

The Last Tune (Emmett Cullen x Male!Reader) Pt 1

Paring; Emmett Cullen x Male Reader + Cullen Family x Male Reader (PLATONIC)

Warning: Cursing, Abuse, Tramua, Angst

Pronouns; He/Him

Spelling checked; No

Summary; Y/N is a quiet boy that's had his fair share of physical and emotional trauma, so he loves to keep to himself. He barely interacts with anyone unless needed and prefers to listen to music and sketch in peace. So imagine his surprise when some of the most popular kids in school want to be around him! They heard him singing along with his music and were immediately entranced. One of them in particular has his eyes set on him. Though, they are not the only ones who have an interest in Y/N.

A/N; Hello, my little Otaku's! Welcome to my first fic! I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated! Just be kind! I'm sorry if it seems at all rushed! On my next stories I do plan on switching PoV's so it'll be easier to write and more entertaining. Enjoy!

"Who are they?"a dark haired girl asked her friend that was sitting just across from their lunch table

"Those are some of the most popular people in school, the Cullen's. Not only are they hot as hell, but they're charming to boot! They do disappear for long periods of time, which gives them an air of mystery."

At the Cullen's table, they softly chuckled at the description the new girl was given. After all, it's only natural considering what they are. They are a being talked about in many fantasy tales. Known for their taste for blood. Vampires, a creature of the night that feasts on humans. However, they in particular don't drink human blood

They went back to softly talking to each other, but a few minutes later something caught their attention. A soft voice echoed in their eardrums. It was enchanting and beautiful, it was like nothing they've ever heard of. They all simultaneously started looking around for the source of the pleasant sound when the new girl asked about someone else.

"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to a table where a boy sat by himself

"Oh! That's (Y/N), (L/N)! He doesn't talk much, but when he does, you can't help but feel so tranquil and at peace!"

That caught the vampire's attention, and they whipped their heads to where the brunette was pointing. Noticing that that was where the sound is coming from.

"What do you mean?"

"His voice is so soft, like silk! But it has a sort of firmness to it! That's not the only thing, though. He is so kind, adorable, and smart as well! He even helps who ask for him to tutor them. His personality makes everyone want to be around him!"

That rose some questions in the vampires heads. If he is that well-liked, why is no one sitting near him?

"Then why is he alone?"

~The vampires will have to thank the new girl for asking so many questions~

"Well, whenever people come near him, he gets anxious and tries to get away as soon as possible. Someone grabbed him on accident, and he started having a panic attack, falling to the ground, and hyperventilating."

The Cullen's were a little shocked when they heard this. That wasn't normal for sure

"Holy shit. Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was sent home early. But, some students saw his face as he was leaving and said that he looked terrified. We think something is going on where he lives, though we can't know for sure" she shrugged

"Once he came to school the next day, he was wearing long-sleeves. I thought it was weird considering he never wore them before, but the rest of the school shrugged it off as it being in the winter months making it reasonable. The person apologized the next day and (Y/N) just said it was fine, and he just likes being alone, so now that's what we do"

Right when the girl finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Making everyone get up and start to throw away their trash and head to class. All except one person...

"I don't think he heard the bell" Emmett said

"Gee, none of us would've guessed!" Rosalie responded, causing the other Cullen's to chuckle

Suddenly, Jasper's sight shifted to his wife Alice because he felt her stiffening up, a tell-tale sign of her power activating. The other vampires looked at her as well, waiting for her to relay what she saw. After a little bit she came to and, slowly, turned to Emmett grinning

"Emmett, why don't you go over and tell him class is about to start? Maybe even ask him to tutor you! We all know you need it." she remarked, still grinning

Starting to understand why she was acting like the way she was, Emmett sighed, wanting to protest, but he knew Alice's visions almost always came true, or they would end at the same conclusion.

He made his way over to where the boy was sitting

"Remember not to grab him!" Alice semi-shouted from where she was standing

Emmett waved her off, still approaching (Y/N)

He gently tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, making the smaller boy jump in surprise and what Emmett can only assume is fear

(Y/N) turned his head around fast enough to give him whiplash and that's when he met the golden eyes of the person that startled him

He took his earbud out before speaking, "I-Is there s-something I can do for you?" (Y/N) asked shakily

Emmett stood there for a moment. He had never seen someone so hot and cute at the same time. The girl was right, too. His voice is the embodiment of angelic. Emmett took this chance to take in all the boys features, from his soft (S/C) skin that reflected the light of the cafeteria. To his intoxicating (E/C) eyes that he could get lost in over and over again. Emmett felt a small pull to (Y/N), and he knew exactly what it meant.

“H-hello? Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked

“I-I um…class is about to start…”

(Y/N) looked at the time and blushed

“So it is…” (Y/N) stood up and started collecting his things “T-thanks for letting me know” (Y/N) stood to leave but was stopped as Emmett stood in front of him

“I was wondering if you could help me study for chemistry? I’m currently failing” Emmett chuckled, rubbing the back of his head

"I-I don't mind, where should we meet?"

"How about the Library after school?"

(Y/N) smiled the slightest bit "Sounds good, now if you don't mind I need to get to class" and with that (Y/N) left the cafeteria heading to his next class. Emmett slowly rejoined his family, still in awe from the recent interaction.

Jasper grinned from the emotions Emmett was emulating

"It seems Emmett is very interested in that guy"

"Hell yeah I am! Did you see him?!"

"We did" Edward answered him, "But"

"But what?" Emmett asked

"I can't read his mind, same with the new girl"

"Does that mean they're a supernatural?" Rosalie asked

"No, they aren't. The new girl is a weird case, but (Y/N) seems to just have fantastic mental walls and barriers. Which is concerning..."

"Then I'll have to break them" Emmett smirked

The rest of the Cullen's let out a collective sigh as they made their way to their respective classes. Still wondering what was going on with the mysterious (Y/N).

The final bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students started to funnel out of their classes and into the hallways. Emmett was waiting outside (Y/N)'s classroom, ready to head to the library.

After waiting awhile of waiting, (Y/N) came out of the classroom books and binder in hand

"Hey"

(Y/N) jumped and turned around to see Emmett, a look of relief claimed his face

"You ready to go?"

"Y-yeah"

As they made their way to the library, they made some just talked about their interests and things of that nature, eventually arriving at their destination. After they settled in their seats with the necessary books, they started the study session.

Emmett found it cute, they way (Y/N) would nervously try and help him understand the complex formula's and equations. After a few explanations, (Y/N) sat down and started to work on his homework. Unconsciously, (Y/N) started to sing to himself, making Emmett perk up and look at him.

"You're a good singer"

(Y/N) blushed, "Thanks...but others don't think so..."

"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett stood up, causing (Y/N) to jump a little, "Your voice is amazing!"

(Y/N) blushed at the praise he was given. He'd never been complimented before, so this was new to him.

"Thank you" (Y/N) smiled, making Emmett's cold and dead heart swell with something he's never felt before

"N-no problem" Emmett said before sitting down, and starting to work again, still thinking of that cute-ass smile

Soon, the sun started to set and that was their cue to wrap things up.

"Could you tutor me again tomorrow? If you're free, that is" Emmett asked

"Sure, I should be open. Meet here after school?"

"Deal"

"Then I'll see you tomorrow" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett before walking to his place

To say Emmett was giddy is an understatement. He was over the moon. Not only did he get to be tutored by his adorable mate, but he also got him to open up and be more relaxed around him! He made his way back to his own house and entered with his head still stuck in the clouds. Unaware of the fact that the whole family was sitting in the living room

"It seems that Emmett had an amazing time" Jasper couldn't help but let out his own smile from Emmett's emotions

"Something good happen, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, intrigued by Jasper's comment

"I think he's the one"

"The One?" Esme questioned

Alice snickered, clearly happy that her vision seemed to have came true

"My mate" Emmett replied, still thinking about the fun time he had studying with (Y/N)

"Congrats!! But, make sure you claim him before anyone else!" Esme explained

"He's not an object, Esme" Carlisle chastised

"I know, but humans may not understand their feelings"

"I just have to take things slow. I don't want to scare him off"

~Next Day at School~

"Hey (Y/N)!"

"Hmm? Oh, hey Emmett!" (Y/N) smiled sweetly

As Emmett got closer to (Y/N) he noticed a very distinct smell coming from the boy. "(Y/N) are you alright?" he asked concern lacing his voice

(Y/N) visibly tensed and started to shake slightly. "U-um ye-yeah? I'm f-fine"

Emmett was less than convinced. He needed to know who or what hurt his mate, so he could end it's pitiful existence, then and there. Though, he decided not to add anymore fuel to the fire...yet.

"If you say so. We should head to to class"

"Yeah"

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"If you still want to, then yes" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett causing him to absolutely gush at his adorableness

"Yep! Totally!" (Y/N) chuckled at Emmett's response

While heading to class they just talked about whatever was on their minds. Well, mostly Emmett since (Y/N) is a closed off little bean <3. But, that didn't stop either of them from enjoying themselves. Even once they where in class they softly whispered to each other. Their teacher didn't care much because (Y/N) is a model student and Emmett is a popular kid (you know those teachers that try and get in with the cool kids? Yeah, that's their teacher). When they went their seperate way's for their second block (Y/N) though that was it, like all of the other people he's tutored. He just thought Emmett was being kind and he'd see him after school for their study session. But he was proven wrong at lunchtime.

(Y/N) was eating by himself at a table listening to music and singing along softly when he felt vibrations coming from next to him. He looked over to not only see Emmett, but the whole Cullen entourage in tow. He was shocked to say the very least.

"Can we sit here?"

Collecting himself he responded with a soft "Yeah". The Cullen's then sat down, Emmett sitting on your right and Alice on your left. She squealed and looked twoards you "I've wanted to actually talk to you for a while now! Emmett talks about you and your singing too! I hope I can hear you one day!" This, this was how (Y/N).exe has stopped working. You where an embarassed blushing mess while looking at Emmett in mock betrayal. 'He talks about me?' you thought. He just smirked enjoying your cuteness.

"Ahh!!! He's soo adorable!!" Now you were a even darker red. Only provoking Alice more as she got slightly closer to you. You were about to curl in on yourself when you felt that you were being griped by the waist and pulled into a solid chest.

"Alice, your going to make him explode" Emmett said slightly, just slightly defensive

She laughed "My my what about you then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look down, bonehead" Rosalie butted in amused

Emmett did what she said and saw you an absolute wreck. If a cherry was a person it would be you at this point-

Now he was trying to compose himself. The sight of both of you made everyone at the table start chuckling. After that whole fiasco you got to know Emmett's family and started to enjoy their presence. Something you never really had the pleasure of experiencing...

Over the next few weeks, Emmett did everything he could to be even remotely close to (Y/N). They would do studying sessions at the library, and after they would get something to eat. Well, only (Y/N) did. He thought it was weird Emmett never ate anything, but Emmett assured (Y/N) that he was eating well. They would often go to parks and just have fun too. However, all fun things come to an end. When one day (Y/N) didn't show up to school. Emmett just thought (Y/N) got a cold, but soon days turned to weeks and he was getting worried. He didn't know where (Y/N) lived so he couldn't go to his house and see if he was alright, but one day Carlise came home a little later than usual which was not unnoticed by his family.

"You're back late" Esme commented

"Well there is a teenager in critical condition. He came in with severe lacerations all over his body and what seemed to be marks of repeated tramua as well. He came in a couple of weeks ago and was in a coma until he flatlined earlier this morning" Carlise took off his doctor coat and placed it on the chair making his way to Esme. As he stood next to her he looked over to see his "children" with wide eyes

"Is something wrong?" Carlise asked a bit worried

"When did that patient come into the hospital?" Emmett asked urgently

"(Date). Why?"

With that all of the vampires stood up and started to get ready to go to the hospital

"What's wrong? Where are you guys going?" Esme asked

"That's most likely my mate" Emmett replied, making it clear he was irritated

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Esme rushed everyone out the door and to the hospital

At the hospital, they made their way to the room (Y/N) was at. Once there, Carlisle motioned for Emmett to enter first. Emmett went in and was shocked by what he saw. (Y/N) had many tubes attached to him. His body was wrapped in bandages and his breathing was hitching. Emmett walked over to the resting (Y/N) and reached out for his hand, grasping it softly. He rubbed his thumb over the boy's knuckles in a reassuring manner, then sat down next to the bed, still holding (Y/N)'s hand. He could only think about how much he failed his mate. How could he let this happen? He knew there was something going on, but he did nothing? He turned a blind eye to it all. How can he face (Y/N) when he wakes up? Emmett's thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice

"Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that" Emmett replied

"I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

With that, Emmett's world stopped. Boyfriend? How? Why? Was I to late? Emmett turned to (Y/N) conflicted, but that's when he saw the heart monitor. His heart rate was not that high a while ago.

"Can you leave me with my boyfriend?" (B/F/N) asked harshly

Emmett reluctantly stood up and made his way to the door, but not before taking one last look at (Y/N). Once he was out of the room, Emmett started walking down the hallway back to his family.

"Who was that guy that went in there?" Rosalie went up to Emmett

"Apparently, he's (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

The Cullen's looked at Emmett in sadness and pity, but they noticed something

"You don't seem that bothered about it" Jasper said

"Well, before he came in, (Y/N)'s heart rate was normal, but when he spoke his heart rate rose"

"So, you think-"

"Yeah, his 'boyfriend' must've done that to him"

"That's awful" Esme covered her mouth in shock

"We can't really do anything if we don't have proof though" Alice said irritated

"Then we'll just have to get some" Emmett smirked, making the other Cullen's nod

They made their plan's and put them on hold until you were sent home. In the meantime, Emmett came to visit whenever your 'boyfriend' was never there and if he was, Carlisle was keeping a closer eye on you than normal. He also noticed that (B/F/N) would only ever sit in the chair across the room and when he would glance at you a look of disgust would be present on his face. This further solidified his resolve to get you out of that situation.

~A few days later while Emmett is visiting you~

"We're going to help you (Y/N), Everything will be better soon" Emmett reassured the sleeping male whilst holding his hand. He then felt (Y/N) clench his hand and looked up to see those beautiful (E/C) orbs opening

"Em-"

"Shh, don't strain yourself yet" Emmett stood up and pressed the 'call' button just above (Y/N)'s head before sitting back down

"Where-"

"The hospital...can you tell me what happened to you?"

After a brief pause, (Y/N) shook his ever so slightly

"That's fine, just tell me when you're ready" Emmett smiled sweetly. He saw (Y/N)'s face contort into sadness as he started crying. "I-I'm sorry f-for worrying you" (Y/N) choked out between sobs. Emmett couldn't see him cry like this, so he started to comfort and reassure the other male. "You'll be okay...I won't let you get hurt anymore..."

A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry it took way longer than I said! I will now be working on the requests I have gotten and a new series I've conjured up ;)By my little Otaku's!!

[fific7]

Cold Day in Hell - Part 2

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: This does not completely follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 because the world needs more Logan Delos.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

Logan went back to his own office after showing her to hers. He sat down in his plush office chair and swivelled slowly from side to side, picking up his pen and tapping it on the desk as he did so. He was thinking. How was he going to approach this?

Unusually for him, Logan wasn’t 100% convinced that she was attracted to him. That was something of a departure for him; the norm was that he would just look at someone and that was it, they were putty in his hands. Not this gal. He thought she might be interested but he could tell that there were walls up there, that was for sure.

Should he ask Juliet? She was dead set against him getting involved with this new lady, but it might be worth listening to one of her lectures if he got some useful ’women’s perspective’ advice at the same time. He got up and strolled the short distance down to her office, knocking and popping his head round the door. Juliet looked up from her screen at him, “Hey, Logan... what can I do for you? I’m right in the middle of something here.”

Irrespective of her comment, Logan went into the office and sat down in the chair opposite her. Sighing, Juliet put her screen lock on and lounged back in her own chair. Knowing him as she did, she could tell just by looking at his face that he was in thinking mode, in fact he wasn’t even looking at her; he was staring at the back of her big computer screen, a sure sign that his mind was off somewhere else. “Logan!” she said firmly, and his eyes snapped to hers, “I’m busy here, darling brother. What’s on your mind?”

As Juliet had been expecting, he said the name of their new secondment. Then he held up a hand, “Now I know you don’t want me to go there, Jules - but I’m serious here. She’s not a one-and-done in my mind.” Juliet snorted, “What then? A two-and-done?!” Logan rolled his eyes, “Ha ha, very funny. No. I’m thinking of something a bit more... established than that.”

Juliet’s eyes widened, “You mean....” her voice took on a mock awestruck tone, “...a relationship, Logan?” He nodded, “Well... yeah. I suppose you could call it that.” She sat forward, eyes boring into his, “No! I just don’t believe you. Look, you’re the guy who’s out on the town every night with a different person. Or occasionally someone you’ve taken out once or twice before. You are just not a monogamous kinda guy! I don’t want you to mess around with this girl!” Logan crossed one leg over the other and made a point of studying his nails, “I know you don’t, but I want to take her out. And I’m gonna take her out, Jules. She can make her own mind up if she doesn’t want anything to do with me from there on.”

Juliet muttered something and Logan leant in a bit, “Whaddya say, sis?” She looked him straight in the eye, “She probably doesn’t want anything to do with you right now, never mind after you’ve taken her out. Your reputation proceeds you, Lo.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d spent a little time arranging the few items you’d brought with you onto your new desk. Your laptop, your favourite pens, a ruler and a stapler. That was it - you liked to travel light. And anything else you needed, you were sure Delos Destinations would be able to supply by the kilo-load. Logan had said to you, before disappearing back to his own office, “I’ll leave you to settle in, and anything you need.... just ask!” There had been the merest hint of a wink accompanying that last comment, but you’d poker-faced it and just said, “Thanks, Logan.... I’ll bear that in mind.”

You so wished that he wasn’t as handsome as he was, as you had to admit that this made it quite difficult to concentrate on your projects. Shaking your head, you pulled up the folder for one of said projects on your laptop and began work on it.

Hopefully Logan would just keep to his own office. Otherwise you weren’t sure how much work you’d actually get done. Your eyes would be too busy drinking in the male masterpiece that was Logan Delos.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan walked dejectedly back to his office. The visit to Juliet for advice had been a complete and utter waste of time. All he’d got was one big rant about keeping far away from his new love interest. Well, he wasn’t about to do what she said, he’d be damned if he would.

Back in his office, he took to swinging from side to side in his chair once more. He really didn’t have a clue how to start his campaign to win her over. Logan just wasn’t used to having to chase down anyone he was interested in, so this was a bit of a new challenge for him. Should he go all out and whisk her off somewhere in one of the private jets? Take her out on the company yacht? Pick her up in a limo and take her to a premiere?

Or should he go low-key, ask her out for a coffee and see how that went down? Build it up from there? He’d picked up his pen once more and as he got more and more frustrated, threw it across the room where it bounced off the door, dropped and skittered across the floor. A couple of seconds later, his secretary knocked and opened the door, “Did you need something, Mr Delos?” “Uhhh.. no, no, it’s fine, Stacy, sorry about that.” She gave him a bit of a look, nodded and closed the door.

He sighed and thought to himself that he’d better get ready for these upcoming investor meetings in Seattle the following week. He sat bolt upright in his chair, smacking his forehead. Of course! Why hadn’t he thought of that sooner!

Three days in Seattle... just the two of them.... perfect!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You heard a small tap and then Juliet’s head appeared round the door. “Welcome!” she smiled, coming into the office and over to you, giving you a big hug. “I’m so pleased you’re here!” You agreed, “Yes, I’m pleased to be here. It’s lovely to see you, Juliet.” “It’s going to be so much easier all round,” she said, before sitting down opposite you, “...it’s going to make a big difference to the status of the projects.” She paused, her eyes - so like Logan’s - gazing into yours, “And.... I don’t mean to sound off-putting, especially on your first day... but I’m guessing you already know that my brother is really quite taken with you?”

You gave a small smile, “Umm... yes I kind of did get that vibe.” She nodded, “You’re a damn good engineer and that’s a big part of the reason you’re here, but this was Logan’s idea and I’ll be straight with you, he’s busy working out how he’s going to get close to you.”

Laughing out loud, “Juliet, no offence to your brother - who’s a very good-looking guy - but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I go out with him. I know he’s a complete player.” She laughed too, “I’m glad you’re already aware of that. I mean, I love my brother to bits but he is just terrible at relationships! He doesn’t mean to be, but he says he doesn’t know if he could ever love anyone, any one person. It’s not really in his DNA.”

You took a breath, thought to yourself, why not? - and asked, “Is his ...uhh... substance abuse a thing of the past now? Well, as much as it can ever be.” Juliet nodded, a pained look on her face, “Yes, thank god. We had a pretty awful time with him for a while, especially after a... a particular situation in Westworld, but he’s clean now and still goes to meetings every so often just to keep himself in line. I really thought we’d lost him a couple of times, so yes, he’s done really well. I’m proud of him.” “You should be,” you agreed, having seen tears welling in her eyes when she’d mentioned losing him. “I’m sorry I brought that up, Juliet, I shouldn’t have said anything.” She smiled, “Hey, it’s fine. You should know what you’re getting into... or rather not getting into!”

You both laughed at that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

In the meantime, Logan had asked his secretary to book one of the private jets and two hotel suites in downtown Seattle for the dates of the investor meetings. He was almost bouncing around his office, he was so pleased with himself and his new plan.

He thought he heard the sound of laughter coming from her office, and couldn’t stop himself from going right next door to see what was going on. He opened the door after a brief knock on it, and saw his sister sitting with the object of his affections, the two of them still laughing.

Juliet turned round and said with a smile, “Lo! We were just talking about you.” His eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Oh yeah?” She nodded, “Yeah. Are your ears flaming?” Logan scowled at her, “What have you been saying, Jules?” with a quick, anxious look over at the other woman in the room. Juliet stood up and said, “Oh, nothing too bad, Logan,” giving him a wicked little smile and striding out of the room.

Logan watched Juliet go before clearing his throat and turning back just in time to see her hiding a smile. “C’mon,” he said, “...what did she say?” She shook her head, “Honestly, nothing bad. She was just pulling your strings.” Logan just managed to stop himself saying that she would be more than welcome to pull his strings, before sitting down in the chair which Juliet had just vacated. “Okay... well, what I came in to tell you is that we’re going to Seattle next week...” total surprise on her face, “....to some investor meetings,” Logan carried on smoothly. “Oh now, Logan, why on earth would you want me to go to them?” “You’ll be able to update them on a few of those middleware projects you’re working on. You were so much better than that boring asshole they let do most of the presentation. You’ll wow these guys.”

She was still looking at him as if he’d asked her to go to the moon. “It’s all booked,” he said quickly, a tiny bit of confidence leaving his voice, “...so I’ll give you the dates and schedule, okay?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh, he’s booked it already has he? you thought. Sighing, you could feel your shoulders slump a little in defeat as you agreed to go with him. You knew that your boss wouldn’t be very impressed if you didn’t, as apart from helping Delos Destinations get more investment, you’d be floating your own company’s name out in front of them.

“Who else is going?” you asked, and saw a distinct gleam in Logan’s dark eyes as he answered, “Uhh.. just the two of us. Don’t want to overwhelm them with too many speakers.” He slapped his hands down onto his thighs, “Well, I’d better get back, I’ve got a meeting in 5. I’ll get those details to you asap.” He stood up, “See you later,” and left your office.

Okayyy - just the two of you? This trip was shaping up to be something out of a bad romcom.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had mentioned the proposed Seattle trip to Juliet as they were both leaving the office, casually dropping in who was going amongst all the other details. She stopped in the middle of the corridor, looking round to see if anyone else was within earshot before saying in an exasperated tone, “Really, Logan? Are you serious? And I suppose there’s only going to be one room available when you get there?!” Logan held up both hands, “No!! You can check, there are two rooms booked!”

Juliet scowled at him, “Logan, I swear - you better be on your best behaviour. She’s only just arrived, so you piss her off this early in then I’m going to be super pissed too!” Logan did one of his over-exaggerated eye rolls, “Oh for fuck’s sake stop worrying, Jules, I’m not about to piss her off. I’m out to charm her.”

“Oh god help her then,” muttered Juliet as she stalked towards her car.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan took your hand as you stepped out of the chauffeur-driven car at the private airstrip. You’d thought about ignoring his outstretched hand but instead placed yours in his. A smile appeared on his face, “Now, this is how it’s gonna be over the next few days - us holding each other’s hands through the investor meetings.” You rolled your eyes, “Whatever you say, Logan.” “I do say,” he smirked, hand going to the small of your back as you reached the bottom of the steps up to the aircraft and guiding you onto them. You knew that his eyes were glued to your rear as you made your way up the steps, but tried to ignore the feeling. Every so often you’d catch Logan’s eyes on you, looking at you as if you were a prey animal and this made you even more determined to avoid getting involved with him.

But lordy it wasn’t easy, you admitted to yourself as you watched him settle his tall frame into the extremely comfortable seat facing yours. You’d never been on a private jet before, but you were having difficulty paying attention to all its facilities when Logan was looking absolutely edible in an impeccable dark blue suit and light pink shirt, unbuttoned quite low as usual and showing off a little chest hair. Your eyes met his after you’d finished exploring his body, and he was looking so smug you wanted to punch him. Damn! You’d better be more guarded in future when drooling over him.

Now you started showing an interest in the interior of the plane, but every time you caught Logan’s eye he was still smirking at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Ha! he laughed to himself, he’d obviously chosen the right suit then. He’d taken particular care when dressing that morning as he’d wanted to look really good for her and it seemed he’d made a good choice, judging by the look on her face when she’d finished eyeing him up and down.

He lounged back in his seat, still gazing at her. He wanted to fuck her so badly! His mind supplied a vision of himself climbing on top of her as she sat there, undoing her top, pushing her skirt up and.... He could feel himself getting hard just from that short clip playing in his head right now.

“Wanna fu-...”, he clamped his jaw shut, before carrying on, “...wanna drink, sweetheart?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were under no illusions as to exactly what was running through Logan’s mind at that moment.

You’d noticed how his eyes had glazed over slightly as he stared at you, his lips parted, and you could literally see his trousers tightening by the second over his groin. The dead giveaway was when he almost asked you if you wanted to fuck instead of what you wanted to drink. You couldn’t stop a smile making its way onto your lips. There was an undeniable thrill that you could turn him on like this ...but No!!! your brain said. This guy’s middle name is ‘Player’ and even his own sister had warned you what a hound-dog he was.

“I’ll have a G&T, please,” you said sweetly, “...and nothing else, thanks.”

Logan looked stunned for a second, then pressed the call button for the attendant.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh shit, Logan thought, she knows exactly what I was thinking. I guess I’m being a little obvious here, I’d better calm it the hell down. He just wasn’t used to playing it cool in the pursuit of someone. Usually he went from 0 to 90 in sixty seconds, and the people he hung out with expected that from him. Not this gorgeous example of womanhood though. He was going to have to majorly change his approach.

But being with her like this - so close, just the two of them - was driving him crazy as it felt really intimate, and while his thoughts were still firmly planted in the sexual receptor of his brain, the longer they were on the plane together the more he realised that he was enjoying just being with her. Which surprised him to be honest, that wasn’t something that normally entered his sphere of relations with other people. She had a very calm demeanour, and it made him feel at ease. Conversation flowed, and he felt like he was getting to know her a lot more.

Initially he’d hinted to his sister that he wanted more than sex from his new love interest to get Juliet off his back, but now it appeared that karma had got him fair and square. It felt like that he did really want something more.

What that was, he wasn’t exactly sure yet.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Checking in to the fancy hotel in downtown Seattle, you noticed the receptionists - male and female - checking out Logan and not being discreet about it. He, meanwhile, was in his element, flirting up a storm with them while handing over his black Delos card to register for the rooms. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. This was exactly what put you off him. You were more than certain that he’d be sharing a bed with one or all of them that night.

He handed you your keycard, and quickly noting your room number you took off like a shot towards the elevators. Logan had been surprised when you’d set off so briskly, and scrambled to grab his bag and suitcase beside the reception desk before following you.

He reached the elevator just as you turned, smiling at him and commenting, “Have fun with your new little friends,” and nodding your head back towards reception.

Hitting the ‘close doors’ button, you were still smiling at him as the doors closed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan scrabbled at the ‘call’ button but not quickly enough to stop the doors closing in his face. Damn it! The other elevator arrived after a couple of moments and he rushed into it, wanting to catch up with her. What had he done wrong? She’d seemed pissed off underneath that smile. And what did she mean by his ‘new little friends’? Then he realised what had ticked her off - he’d been doing his usual flirting with the hired help who of course had been flirting right back.

But it didn’t mean anything to him, it was just his usual m.o., didn’t she realise that? He’d obviously need to introduce her to the Delos way of doing things so there’d be no future misunderstandings.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were just putting your toiletries out in the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. Knowing it would be Logan, you opened the door to find him standing outside still with his suitcase and bag in hand. “Come in,” you invited and he walked quickly inside. You went back to the bathroom and finished laying out your shower gel and shampoo.

He stopped next to your bed and sat on it, waiting until you emerged from the bathroom. You had to admit he looked good on your bed but dismissed the thought and headed over to your suitcase to start unpacking. “I always flirt with the staff,” he said, “...it gets you a better level of service.” “Or just gets you serviced,” you said before you could stop yourself. You heard his deep chuckle as you kept taking items out of your case.

“No, that’s not the aim,” he said, “truly it’s not.” Walking over to the unit underneath the giant flat-screen TV attached to the wall, you began putting the garments away in the drawers then became aware of Logan invading your personal space to look over your shoulder. He was smirking at you and you suddenly realised you were holding a handful of your lingerie. Long fingers stroked one of the silky pairs of panties you were holding and you abruptly shoved them all into the drawer and slammed it shut. “Logan!” you admonished him, but his only reaction was to keep smiling mischievously at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had tried to persuade her to come out on the town with him but she’d decided to stay in the hotel and have an early night. So he’d gone out on his own, heading to a restaurant he’d eaten at before and ordering a steak and some wine. The waitress had been very interested in him, hitting on him shamelessly but he’d politely brushed her off.

There was only one person he wanted in his bed. Not sure how long it’s gonna take me to get her there though, he thought glumly.

What did surprise him was the fact that he was willing to hang on in there until that happened.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Drifting off to sleep, aware of the low sound of the TV in the background, you couldn’t even be bothered to sit up to grab the remote and switch it off. There was a low knock on your door, then a second one - louder - when you didn’t answer the door. Groaning, you got up and went over to it, looking through the peephole to see Logan standing outside.

Sighing, you opened the door and he swept into your room as if he owned it. Then with typical Logan braggadocio he threw himself gracefully onto your bed, propping up some pillows behind him, crossing his ankles and linking his hands behind his head. You rolled your eyes heavenwards and closed the door, making your way towards where he lay. You were damned if he was going to chase you out of your bed. Standing beside it with your hands on your hips, you demanded, “Logan... what do you think you’re doing exactly?” Those dark eyes of his roamed all over you in your short little silk nightdress and he smiled, “I’m lonely.”

“Lonely!” you laughed, “You’re... you’re just... unbelievable!” His smile got wider, “I’m more than willing to prove just how unbelievable I am, but you won’t let me.” “Do you blame me, Logan?” His smile faltered, and he looked away from you, gazing at the TV, “I guess not.” But then those dark chocolate eyes were back on you, “But you could at least give me a chance,” he said with a small but genuine smile.

You felt yourself melt a little, you couldn’t help it. So against your better judgement, you lay down next to him on the bed, under the covers. “Can I get myself a drink?” he asked. “Oh, I see, it’s my mini-bar you’re after, is it? Help yourself.” He got up and headed over to it, laughing and turning back to you, “You know only too well what I want, sweetheart.”

“You can have a whisky, Delos, but that’s all you’re having.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan sighed as he poured the whisky miniature into a glass and made his way back over to the bed. But then he perked up, after all he had made it into her bed - in a manner of speaking - and against all expectations. Now he just had to make sure he didn’t screw it up (again, in a manner of speaking) by hitting on her.

If he got to spend the night in her bed, that would be enough for him - for now.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes slowly opened and you gave a little yawn, wondering what time it was and thinking that today was the first round of investor meetings, when you suddenly realised that you could feel someone’s breath on your ear and that there was an arm slung over your stomach. You were lying on your side and you moved your head slightly to look over your shoulder, but you knew what you’d see before you did.

Logan. His eyes closed, hair tousled, lying on top of the covers but he’d still managed to more or less wrap himself around you. He shifted slightly, giving a little sigh and burrowing his nose even further into the nape of your neck.

Oh hell. This was really not a good plan, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be lying here with him. He looked so deliciously handsome while he was asleep. But also vulnerable. You turned away from him and studied the bedroom wall opposite you.

You really did have to watch how you were handling this, or despite your best intentions you were going to end up getting badly hurt.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan awoke from the very horny dream he’d been having, only to remember that he was partly living it in real life. He sensed she was awake - he could tell by her breathing - and he decided to push his luck a bit. He gave a small sigh as if he was still sleeping, and gently rubbed his erection against the back of her leg. He heard a quick intake of breath, and smiled to himself as he felt her trying to squirm away from him but he tightened the arm he’d sneaked over her during the night.

“Logan!” she hissed, “Get that away from me!” He chuckled, “Aw sweetheart, get what away from you?” He further pushed his luck by moving her hair aside and kissing her behind her ear.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You shivered, he’d kissed you somewhere you wished he hadn’t as it made you want to kiss him back so badly. You were very aware of his body pressed up against yours, how good he smelt, how good it felt to be lying there with him almost wrapped around you....

You’d better get him out of this bed before you made a catastrophically bad decision.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(Not my GIF - credit to owner)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@obscurilicious @theshadowkingsqueen

[justanotherlifeff]

Quirkless

Warning: NSFW, Toxic Relationships, Underaged Bakugou and Reader, Reader has Insecurities, Angst with a happy ending.

Bakugou Katsuki was destined to be a great hero. That was a fact that he always knew ever since his quirk appeared. Yes, it was his quirk that made him so great. So much better than everyone else. Ofcourse people without a quirk couldn't even be compared to him, people like Deku or you. Which is why, when both you and Deku aimed to study at UA, he was furious. Deku was the fortunate one as he went through just some bullying as what you went through was much, much worse.

It wasn't your fault that you fell in love with him despite the way he belittled you. However, you blamed yourself for acting on it. It was a stupid and innocent plan really. You were going to give him some chocolates anonymously on valentine's day during your final year at junior high. However, it was Bakugou you were trying to give a gift to and hence, he caught you red handed.

 Your confidence was already broken into pieces by your family and ofcourse, by Bakugou himself due to being quirkless and hence, when he decided to degrade you once again and offer you to be his personal fucktoy, you agreed. Atleast the boy you were in love with noticed you right? Atleast you were good enough to be his right?

This so called relationship you had broke you even more. Bakugou only made you feel more inferior and unworthy every day and convinced you to not go to UA. Even though you got into the Business course of UA, you decided against joining the prestigious school just to make him happy. Even then, as soon as he moved to the dorms, he ended up leaving you, telling you that you did not deserve him.

Bakugou Katsuki was destined to be a great hero. However, he couldn’t change the fact that he spent half his life acting like a villain. He realized it once he found out the truth about Deku, once he finally started seeing Deku as an equal. Unfortunately, it was too late. When he finally realized that he wronged you and decided that he owed you an apology, it seemed as if you disappeared in thin air.

Years went by and no matter how much Bakugou searched for you, he found no sign. All he ever found out was that your parents died in a car crash and they were sinking in debt, which is why you lost your home and everything overnight. He checked the nearby homeless shelters and found out that at that time, all the shelters were full and so, everyone who tried to get in were turned away. As a helpless quirkless kid, there was no way that you survived. However, by that time, Bakugou grew a newfound obsession over you and refused to believe that you might be dead.

The press always questioned why the number 2 hero remained single even if any girl would die to be with him. That question always went unanswered as Bakugou either chose to ignore the question or yelled at the reporters like there’s no tomorrow. The answer to this was that Bakugou had fallen in love with you over time. Whether it was due to guilt or not, he did not know. All he knew was the fact that he could not see himself living his life with anyone else.

Normally, Bakugou’s life was a boring one. He would patrol all day, fight villains, come back home to work out at the gym room he had at his own house, cook dinner and breakfast for the next day, have dinner and fall asleep alone in his king size bed. The bakusquad always thought that his lifestyle was downright sad, which is why, Kirishima had finally convinced him to go to a stripclub.

Bakugou was nothing short of irritated when he entered the club, where random half naked women were dancing on poles. He had absolutely no interest in such activities but Kirishima and Kaminari, especially Kaminari were annoying him for months and he wanted them to shut their mouths. However, that changed very fast as soon as he heard an announcer say, “Now, our quirkless darling will be up on the stage! Please welcome (Stage/name)!”

Ever since his obsession with finding you began, he found himself turning his head as soon as the word quirkless got mentioned. Ofcourse, it always gave him a surge of false hope as he never found you. However, this time, things were different as he saw you go up on the stage with a skimpy outfit on. He recognized you immediately, you didn’t look too different from when you were a teenager.  Sure, you were more mature and your skin was full of marks... wait... were you being abused?

Kirishima noticed Bakugou’s shocked expression and it didn’t take him long to figure out that you were the (Y/N) who Bakugou had been looking for since his UA days. Just to be sure, he asked, “Bakugou, is that (Y/N)?” and as he feared, Bakugou ended up muttering an “yes”. “She takes clients for further ‘service’ after she’s done with her show. Do you want to book her? You can talk to her that way.” Kirishima advised his best friend. To that, Bakugou only asked, “How do I do that?”

Bakugou could barely breathe as he waited infront of your room. After taking a deep breathe, he got in, only to find you naked. “I’m surprised you chose me, Dynamight-san. You don’t seem to like weak people right? Choosing a quirkless like me, is this some kind of fetish of yours?” you chuckled, the venom in your voice apparent. “(Y/N), I just wanna talk.” Bakugou answered, looking at your eyes. 

It surprised you honestly. You always saw pure anger and disgust in his eyes even when you were kids. It surprised you to see that the explosive hero could have guilt in his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like you...” you muttered, confused by the entire scenario. 

“I searched for you for years. I heard about your parents. What happened to you?” he asked quietly, surprising you even more. “I-I tried going to a homeless shelter nearby but everywhere was full. I had some money that I saved up so I moved to the nearby city and got into a shelter there. I got some part time jobs to pay for high school at first but then I still had trouble with money cause they paid too less. That’s when I met a guy who got me in here and I’ve been working here since. You pro heroes are perverted enough to have sex with a high school girl so here I am, making money and getting by somehow.” you chuckled dryly.

“I’m sorry.” you heard Bakugou mutter, which surprised you even more. “huh?” you asked, confused. “I wish I could’ve saved you. I’m sorry, (Y/N). About everything. About saying all those God awful things to you. About not being there when you needed me. Fuck I wish I could take it all back.. I’m so sorry, (Y/N).. Please let me make it up to you.” he said in a raspy tone. It was hard for you to believe that THE Bakugou Katsuki was apologising to you.

“You weren’t wrong though. I did end up being a fucktoy for you people with quirks. There really is no other place for a quirkless loser like me...” you were stopped by Bakugou yelling, “Shut the fuck up (Y/N)! I’ll make sure you get a different job! Hell, you can be my assistant at my agency! Or Deku’s Agency! Just let me help damnit!”

“Why are you doing this after all these years?” you asked, tearing up. “Cause I was wrong. Cause you were more than just a fucktoy. Cause my dumbass took too long to realize that I love you. You don’t have to accept my feelings, (Y/N). Just let me give you a better life. I just wanna make up for my mistakes. You deserve so much better than this. Please (Y/N).” Bakugou muttered in a raspy tone. 

At this point, you were sobbing. Not knowing what to do, Bakugou hugged your naked form. You were so small and defenseless. Back in the day, the fact that he could crush you boosted his ego. Right now, he just wanted to protect you from all harm that could come at your way. “I need you, Bakugou-kun... Please...” you whimpered, as you pressed yourself to his chest, shivering slightly. “Call me Katsuki.” he muttered before kissing you.

Everything was different this time. This time, he kissed away your tears instead of causing them. He held you tightly instead of not letting you touch him. He kissed your marks instead of causing them. His kisses were so soft that it made you melt as he slid his hand down to your crotch, rubbing your clit, making you moan in pleasure. he trailed his kisses down your body eventually and as he reached between your thighs, he inserted a finger in you as his lips sucked onto your small bud, making you moan out loud. 

It was amazing how good he was with his mouth as he used his tongue to tongue fuck you as soon as you orgasmed due to his ministrations with your clit. His fingers went back to massaging your clit, making you gush into his mouth. 

That’s when he finally put his condom on and positioned himself on your hole. It was almost unbelievable to you that this was the same person from back in junior high as this time, he hugged you tightly, his body completely engulfing yours as he pounded into you. He was so much bigger now and the way he was kissing your neck and whispering how good you felt and how sorry he was to your ear, you couldn’t help but cum all over his cock. However, he kept overstimulating you, making you cum once again before blowing his load in you.

You expected him to leave right after. You expected all of it to be a lie. However, you were completely wrong.

Bakugou Katsuki was destined to be a great hero. However, the day he truly became one was when he kept his promise and gave you the life you always dreamed of. He became a great hero when he made sure you knew that you were worthy of him and more.

The ask box is open!

[phynali]

another post about the secret good supernatural that lives in my brain

where’s that interview or convention quote from mark sheppard about how he wishes Rowena had been Crowley’s ex-wife instead of mother?

i absolutely love Rowena and Ruth O’Connell did an incredible and fantastic job with bringing her to life, but i do feel like that’s the world’s most Valid critique. 

and i kind of get that the show’s later seasons really like to dabble in the parenthood narratives, with Rowena, with Mary, with the Jack storyline, with Lebanon. what does it mean to be a mother/father/parent, and how do we do the best by our kids? what happens when we fuck up? what happens when we’re selfish? how do experience being a person and a parent when those are in conflict?

but i don’t see how making rowena into crowley’s mother really added to any of those conversations, tbh. 

if anything, them as exes would give a lot more weight to her, y’know, killing her (other) son at the end of s10. obviously she’s got this “i hate that i can’t hate you i hate that i love you” maternal thing with crowley but what if she was killing her son and crowley was thinking about the kid crowley had all those years ago who also gets resurrected when rowena is around and who crowley has to let go of, right? i mean what if that was both their kid? what if they had to mutually watch him die? what if that’s why they hated each other in the first place? what if crowley made that stupid childish deal he did just to punish himself for rowena leaving him after their son died and he blamed himself and meanwhile rowena went and got herself invested in witchcraft in a vain and failed attempt to bring their kid back and everything about them went to shit - 

god, i want this so badly now?

and i see why they might not have wanted to reduce all their stories to siblings or lovers, why other dynamics keep things fresh, but i think exes who still get along but also can’t stand one another but also love one another but are never, ever getting back together and that’s for the best but also if you lay a finger on him i’ll kill you only i get to kill him - 

well i just think that’s a bit more interesting than what we got? especially with lucifer thrown in the mix and the obvious infidelity feelings. right now lucifer and rowena reads as abusive romance but they didn’t lean into any paternal dynamic between lucifer and crowley, like it’s just pure debasement on an equal level, and they obviously just did not know or were too afraid to tap the very disturbing familial parallels they could have setup there so why even paint themselves into that corner? 

why not setup lucifer and crowley as romantic rivals, neither of whom actually want rowena or a relationship but both of whom play tug-of-war with the loyalty and allegiance of women because they’re awful people (devils, literally) and why not have rowena’s narrative involve rejecting all of that bullshit and overcoming the inherent misogyny. not to say there’s not some of that in her maternal storyline as well but it’s - empty? in comparison (by which i mean delivery). and much better explored with mary in s12.

and the samwena vibes would be so fascinating!! if rowena was crowley’s ex the show might have actually dug into crowley and sam’s super interesting and massively under-explored dynamic because the weird jealousy and territorialness would be so goddamn fun!! 

“no i don’t want to be with her but no she is not allowed to flirt with you what the hell do you mean you’re the one destined to kill her oh fucking no you aren’t that is my job she broke my heart and i am the king of hell, not you mr boy-fucking-king-who-abdicated so you will pry the right to kill her from my cold dead demon hands i will save her life just so you don’t get to kill her you bastard - “

come on! 

right now samwena and crowley was super under-explored as it is, and at minimum we 150% deserved crowley being cheeky with sam for having chemistry with his mother and sam being a little flustered/unsure how to respond while inevitably sassing crowley back. please. it would be so weird. you cannot convince me that the crowley we know and love wouldn’t have deliberately flirted with mary just to see sam’s eye twitch and for dean to break a tooth by tensing his jaw too hard. i mean it wouldn’t work because mary hates demons almost as much as sam but it would be in character and it would delight me, personally.

anyway i also saw someone else comment that when rowena was introduced the witchcraft in the show went from super fucking dark (how it was introduced to the show in kripke era, then left mostly untouched in s6-9) to pretty purple sparkles and tbh that’s so true and also dull? like rowena was legit introduced in the process of reading a book and drinking tea (or wine?) while two guys bled out slowly on her ceiling held up by her dark af magic and by the end she’s just ...  doing spells that sam and dean have no moral compunctions about using? dabb do you know what horror is as a genre why did you change the genre of this show in its final 3 seasons? why did we not get to retain the dark and demonic aspects of witchcraft? 

i am so disappointed at how they watered down so many different things with rowena and final note she absolutely should have fucked sam literally any other character behind the bookstacks except gabriel omg.

[cellard0ors]

Fic: Movement (2/?)

Still dedicated to the wonderful @peachworthy. you read part one than you know - GMM Rhink AU - College Student Link/Pornstar Rhett AU

“Got it right again, man! You’re going to ace this test!” Rhett crows as he tosses down another notecard and Link pumps his arms in triumph. The two of them are settled in the kitchen, piles of books and notecards spread around as well as few bottles of beers and some bowls of chips.

Link picks up one chip and pops it into his mouth, grinning at his roommate fondly, “Well, couldn’t’ve done it without you, pal. You are, without a doubt, the best study buddy I’ve ever had.”

“Aw shucks, gonna make me blush,” Rhett laughs even though it’s Link who feels his cheeks actually grow warm, his friend’s laughter a common cause of the occurrence.

They’ve been living together for over a month now and it’s been beyond amazing. Link would’ve never guessed a guy like Rhett and a guy like him would work so well together.

It’s like they’re the world’s weirdest, most convoluted puzzle yet all the pieces click together to form a full picture that is nothing short of a masterpiece. True, there’s a lot about Rhett Link doesn’t know yet (and gosh is there a lot he wants to know) but their friendship is running smoothly.

Well, smoothly save for the massive crush Link has on the guy, albeit he’s doing his damned best to squash it. Yes, Rhett’s attractive and yes, he’s the first guy Link’s ever met that he’s felt a real zing for, but the fact of the matter is – Link would much rather have him as a friend and roommate than lose him as a…well, Link’s not sure if he’d lose him, but the mere possibility keeps Link’s lips sealed.

Besides, it’s okay to crush on someone and never act on it. People do it all the time. Not to mention that it’s a bit…odd to crush on someone in Rhett’s line of work. Isn’t it?

Link can’t think of too many people who will admit to crushing on an adult film star. Regular, mainstream film stars, sure – but adult film stars?

Yeah…

Although, to be frank, Link’s sure there are some that do. And, hopefully, some of them are not the creepy internet troll-y kind of people, but genuine salt of the earth folks like himself. Because, okay, he is crushing on one so…

Rhett is toying with the cards, maybe looking for the next question to quiz Link on when he asks idly, “Y’know, Link – I gotta say, I admire your stamina.”

That remarks makes Link choke on the drink he’s just been consuming, a cough clearing it up some as he croaks, “I’m-I’m sorry?”

Rhett hums noncommittally, as if not noticing the gaffe, “You’ve had yet to grill me about my job. Normally, once folks hear about it, that’s all they want to talk about.”

“Oh,” Link breathes out loosely, “Well, ah-? It-? It just…seemed rude to-to ask…”

“Been over a month living with me now. You telling me you ain’t interested?”

“I didn’t say that!” Link quips back much quicker than he would like, but Rhett just gives him the most perfect smile. All sincere and warm beneath his beard and remember, Link, you’re doing you’re best not to crush on him!

Rhett is still toying with the cards, eyelashes downcast, the very visual definition of shy as he murmurs, “Just sayin’…I don’t mind if you wanna ask some stuff.”

Link’s eyebrows rise in such a way as to damn near bump his glasses off, “Y-You sure?”

Rhett draws in a deep inhale and then sits the cards down. He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, looking quite serious even despite the casual red flannel and jeans, as if this was more of an interview (or perhaps an interrogation?) than anything else, “Shoot.”

The a million and one questions that Link has kept at bay about Rhett’s job and more personal life threaten to cave his skull in as they crash about in his mind. However, he has to go with the obvious, “Know this’ll be predictable, but…why?”

Rhett just bobs his head in an understanding nod even as Link pushes on, “Why and how?”

Rhett sucks on his teeth before picking up his own beer and taking a fortifying sip before continuing, “The two are kinda interconnected to be honest. Had a fallin’ out with my family. Think I mentioned it in passin’ to you once. But, to clarify; they weren’t too happy with my chosen living destination nor with the fact that I’d come to terms with the notion that I’m attracted to both the ladies and the gents.”

Link’s mind immediately (and joyously) clings to ‘the gents’ remark, bookmarking it for future reference, even as Rhett continues his tale, “You grew up where we did. So you get it.”

Link does. And then, to nail the point home, Rhett adds, “Probably get it a lot more than others. If my…instincts are to be believed.”

Shit.

SHIT.

Link’s whole body immediately bursts into flame, the tips of his ears so hot he’s sure they’re glowing bright red.

Rhett knows I’m gay. He knows. I thought having a radar for that kind of thing was bullhonkey, but he knows and oh, lord, oh lord – do I give off some sorta vibe? I know that girl in my screenwriting class, Stevie, she teased me about being an A-Level twink or something, but I didn’t think-!

Rhett’s laughter carves right through Link’s insecurities, “Take a breath, brother! Look like you’re about to pop!”

Link does and Rhett just shakes his head, still grinning, “Point being – I was pretty much a babe in the woods when I came to LA. Not two nickels to my name, so I took whatever gigs I could get. Managed to snag a few commercials and things of that nature, but you know the drill. Jobs are hard to come by. And a guy of my height?”

He blows out a big breath and tosses all of those luxurious curls about with a rueful head shake, “Yeah, most people fingered me for a baller, so – again – jobs were hard to come by. But then, wouldn’t you know it? A friend of a friend of a contact told me about this part they thought I’d be perfect for.”

Another deep barrel chested chuckle emerges as he reminiscences, “Mighta been nice of ‘em to let me know it was actually a part of me they thought would be perfect.”

Do not zero in on his crotch! Do NOT zero in on his crotch! Charles Lincoln Neal the Third DO NOT-!

Link keeps his eyes so steadfastly forward he probably looks like some bug eyed zombie. If Rhett notices, he doesn't comment, “Anyway, when I found out what the role was, I had planned to politely decline but, y’know, the money they offered…”

There’s an easy shrug and this Link can look at. He looks at Rhett, who looks a bit sheepish as he scratches at one side of his beard, “I mean, again, you grew up where I did. So, you know how the whole ‘wait until marriage’ thing was drilled into your head, but I figured it wasn’t like anybody would know. My family’d cut me off, my friends were few and far in between, and the people on set…”

Now he looks a bit happier and Link can’t help but smile along with him, “The people on set were all right. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the kind of stories people tend to spin – the exploitation, the drug abuse, other questionable stuff…place I was at wasn’t like that. I mean, maybe I just lucked out or something, but it was…”

Another shrug and he goes for his beer again. Link figures this is as good a time as any to get in another question, “So, you did that and then you…? Just kept going?”

Rhett nods as he drinks, the bottle leaving his mouth with an obscene pop that Link is going to do his best to forget all about right now and certainly not recall at any point in the future (and most certainly NOT when he’s jacking off later), “Yeah, I did the one and the director really liked me. He pull me aside and told me about this company he was trying to set up with a couple of buddies of his. They wanted to go in a classier direction – know how funny that sounds, but he was serious.”

“So, what? No, like, blockbuster porno knock offs? Like ‘Sex in The City and ON the City’ or ‘Arma-get-it-on’?”

“Think you stole that last one from an episode of CSI.”

“I did, doesn’t change the question.”

They’re both smiling like a couple of fools, but the mood is good and the atmosphere light as Rhett sighs, “Yeah, nothing like that. I’ve actually worked with a few female directors, shot some things with great budgets, nice lighting, good costumes…”

“Oooo, costumes,” Link teases in the silliest voice and Rhett swats out at him. Link avoids the hit even as Rhett rolls his eyes, “I’m serious, dude. Some of the things that department pumps out looks better than anything you’d see in Hollywood.”

“Hmm, some kinda wood,” Link snickers and this time Rhett’s swat makes impact, brushing Link’s shoulder and Link would be embarrassed by the giggle he lets out, if it weren’t for the way Rhett’s nose is all scrunched up, making him look beyond adorable, “You’re sucha brat!”

Link sticks out his tongue and Rhett just laughs. They turn their attention to the drinks and chips for awhile before Link circles around to another question, “You like it then?”

“It’s a living,” Rhett confirms, not really answering one way or another, “Like I said – make great money, work with some really nice people.”

“Uh,” Link scratches behind one ear, “Hate to ask, but, um…clean people?”

Rhett doesn’t seem offended, “You bet. Have to be. Another reason I’ve done this as long as I have. Money's great, but the safety is even better. I’m currently under contract with that same company I told you about – the one that director brought me under. On top of wanting to,” he air quotes his next words, “be classier’-”

He drops the quotes, “They wanted to provide an excellent work environment. Heck, me and the other actors and actresses probably have a cleaner bill of health than the entire state. Can’t shoot scene one until you’ve got the A-Okay.”

“Huh,” Link absorbs that with some surprise, but then, he supposes it really shouldn’t be. The adult film industry is a big lumbering beast right alongside it’s more recognized counterpart. No reason one shouldn’t be as cautious as the other. If anything, one has more right to be cautious.

Thinking on this, Link suddenly feels an odd pang. It’s a shame in one way that’s one viewed as more reckless than the other, more questionable. But, when viewed through a mostly puritan lens…

Not wanting to get too philosophical, Link switches gears, “You been in a lot of films?”

“My fair share.”

Another dodge, but Link will let him have it. However, he can practically feel devil horns rise as he asks with a naughty gleam to his eye, “Win any awards?”

Rhett’s practically preening, “Several.”

“Really?” Link asks with some surprise, but Rhett suddenly looks quite naughty himself. Naughty and…a bit too hot for Link’s liking as the heat that always seems to surround him when he’s near Rhett rises and woo boy, he’s really failing at this squashing-the-crush thing.

“If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll show you one of my trophies some time…”

Everything in Link melts into a puddle and he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it’s one that makes Rhett’s whole face light up, “…or maybe, just maybe, I’ll show you a little somethin’ else…”

If it’s possible for a melted puddle to also explode, then Link’s just done it. Rhett bursts into guffaws as he reaches forward and, very smoothly, pushes Link’s jaw up because Link’s jaw? It dropped. He didn’t even feel it drop.

And then, to just add more fuel to the fire, Rhett rubs the pad of his thumb along the bottom of Link’s chin, right below his lip, “Damn, son…you’re just too much for words.”

“I…”

That’s it.

That’s all that Link can offer.

Just one sound, one vowel.

Silent and stunned and Rhett draws back, looking like the cat that ate the canary as he lets him go and rises up from his seat, “Think you need a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.”

And – just like that – Rhett saunters out of the room.

[mmvalentine]

The Pianist pt 5 | Jurdan

Modern AU. Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 6

Jude was angry.

Jude was embarrassed, actually, but the anger felt better. Jude had so much anger it carried her all the way home and up to her apartment, where she threw down her bag and scrubbed her make up off aggressively. Then she changed her clothes, put on entirely different make up, and stalked back out. She went to a bar where she knew they had an open mic event on at this time every Friday night, and shoved her way to the top of the list. Then she sat on a bar stool, shook her hair out, and sang 'Killing Me Softly' until half of her drunken audience were in tears.

The thing was, for years, Jude had demurred and said that she was only an okay singer and just did it for the love of it. Said that it was a sweet way to honour her mother's memory, and a good a reason as any to struggle along in a New York City apartment she could barely afford. Said the busking was a way to keep herself out of trouble and earn a few extra dollars beside. Said it didn't matter that neither her father or step mother never gave a shit about her music.

But the truth was, she was fucking good and she knew it. She felt like you weren't supposed to say that about yourself, so when Locke had told heaped praise on her, it had just felt so validating that she had gone along with his little project. Sure she thought plays were kinda dumb, and she had never liked Locke or any of that group. But they had that Juilliard shine to them, and Locke had put so much effort into convincing her over the week, that she didn't feel like she could say no.

Felt like maybe, just maybe, this was the time that someone might actually hear her and know that she could sing.

What she hadn't anticipated was that her voice would not be enough, that she would be replaced by some magazine cover model and not only would no one actually see her or know who she was, but that it was laughable that that might ever happen.

And so Jude walked out of the theatre and into a pub and picked up the validation a different way. Made people cry into their beer, sang a handful of other songs she knew and only when the lights went down and she handed the microphone to the next performer did the anger leave her and by the time she got back home she was empty.

Jude kicked off her shoes by the door, lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. And when the silence finally licked at her bones, she let herself cry.

The knock at the door was both unexpected and unwelcome. Jude did not answer at first.

"Jude. Jude let me in."

"No."

"Jude. I'm sorry. I didn't know that's what Locke was planning."

"I don't believe you."

"I stole a really expensive and old bottle of scotch from Locke's place and brought it here.

Jude paused. And then let Cardan in.

One might think that Jude's previous experience with alcohol from Locke's house would make this a less appealing proposition but actually the drink helped. She and Cardan passed the bottle between them, while Cardan told her stories about how dumb his friends were.

"One time," Cardan said, "Valerian was off his face, and was hitting on this girl on a balcony. She said no, and he got so offended that he tried to tell her off. Stood up, leaned toward her, and nearly fell clean off the side of the building."

"Good," Jude said.

"Nicasia once pretended to drown so that this hot lifeguard would come save her, but instead she got hauled out by this enormous woman with amazing lungs, and then when they got to shore Nicasia was so verbally abusive that she got banned from that beach."

Jude cackled. "That's my new favourite holiday destination."

"And Locke... okay don't tell anyone I told you this, but his last play was so bad, that his father paid people to sit in the audience so that he didn't feel like his show was a flop."

Jude lay her head down on Cardan's knee. "These are the best bed time stories I have ever heard," she said. He took the bottle from her hand, and put it down beside them.

"Are you falling asleep, Jude?" Cardan asked her.

"No," said Jude, and closed her eyes.

"It's okay if you do."

"Tell me another story."

Cardan was quiet. Jude breathed in and out, and thought it strange that of all people, it was Cardan who was here with her in the aftermath of her humiliation. She'd have thought he would enjoy it but actually, he was being... nice. It was weird.

"Do you want to hear the best bedtime story I ever heard?" Cardan whispered.

"Sure," Jude replied, but truth be told, she didn't need it. She was fast falling asleep in Cardan's lap.

He began to hum, then and Jude knew she had already started dreaming because she knew that tune, and that was impossible. Still, it was not an unpleasant dream. It was just that he was singing her own lullaby back to her.

///////

"That was kinda fucked man," Cardan said to Locke. Locke rolled his eyes.

"Not you too. You know I'm not gonna put a waitress on stage. There are people watching."

"Jude's amazing."

"Sure. She's great. But she doesn't look the part, and I have a reputation to uphold. Why are we even discussing this, Cardan? I said I wanted your musical ear, not your opinion on every little thing I do."

Cardan opened his mouth to argue, and then found there was just no point.

"Alright, Locke. Do whatever you want. You guys... you guys kinda just suck, you know that?"

And he left Locke in the theatre.

Over the following weeks, Cardan didn't talk to any of them. Not Locke, not Valerian. Nicasia tried to call once or twice, but he didn't feel like talking to her. It was like he couldn't remember whether he had actually ever liked them, or if they were just the people his parents had told him to associate with. And that thought made him sick to his stomach.

And then some scandal blew up at school where Valerian had snuck into some girl's room and tried to assault her, and that was it. Locke and Valerian were just dead to him after that.

Nicasia... well he had genuinely loved her, at one point. Or at least as much as sixteen year olds could feel genuine love. But he didn't like the person she had become.

So, okay, then what? He stopped going to the diner, stopped going to the parties, stopped talking to his awful friends. And now all that was left was empty space and silence and he remembered why he hadn't done this before. Cardan supposed that he should make new friends, but the prospect made him want to pull his hair out. He hated people.

So he took himself off to school, not wanting to just haunt his apartment, and worked on his piece for the showcase.

And while he did, he thought there was just one person he still wanted to be around. If she would have him. If she didn't hate his guts altogether.

****

I'm sorry not much is happening here, I'm trying to move and it's a bit hectic over here!!

JURDAN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST:@asteria-of-mars @swankii-art-teacher @loosingdreams @feysand-loml @cityofbookish @story-scribbler @thebonecarver

[sebastianshaw]

Ok I’m home. And I know no one wanted another essay from me on How Duggan Does Feminism Wrong but I have a lit major brain that I can’t turn off, so I get what he is trying to do with the whole “Emma has always been an ally to other women in trouble, even at her worst” and I can appreciate why he’s doing it. A big problem in media traditionally has been that women will exist primarily not as friends, but rivals or worse. And there’s been a lot of demands in recent times, rightly so, for more female friendships, female solidarity, etc. Emma is a character who is especially emblematic of this problem, since she never even had female allies in her villain days, and her relationships with other women as an X-Man have been primarily antagonistic or nonexistence. She also calls other women cows, comments negatively on their bodies and clothes, etc. And that’s as a hero.  So wanting to build her towards more positive relationships with other women is a great thing. And there’s already foundation for it with her and Kate, built up by Whedon (I know, I know) in the “Astonishing” run. But moving her towards something in the present is very different from retconning her as having been an ally to other women all along. Because, guys, she was not. In fact, most of her victims as a villain were other women. She built the device used by Mastermind and the Hellfire Club to help control and exploit Jean, she very much intended to turn Ororo’s brain to mush in one issue and happily hijacked her body in another, she terrorized young Kitty, she’s casually cruel to a maid, she was trying to have Selene murdered (which is fine, Selene is evil as hell, but it’s not female friendship that’s for sure), she was abusive to the Hellions including the girls, she manipulated and gaslighted Firestar for her own ends and literally murdered the girl’s beloved pet. Her BEST relationship with another woman was probably Tessa, because they didn’t have one, they just existed in proximity to one another while never interacting onscreen.  Now, do I think Emma did these things because they were women? No, I think Emma was just a cruel horrible person to everyone back then (which is what makes her efforts to change so compelling later, as I’ve said many times) and we certainly don’t ever see her being nice to a man (she did plenty of awful things to them too). But pretending she was going to be in any way kind or sympathetic to anyone in those days, based on their gender or anything else, just sounds like bollocks to me.  More female friendships are great, but that didn’t exist here. Build them in the present, by all means, but pretending they always were the case for Emma is just plain lying, and also robs her of the chance for a positive journey in this regard. Because you can’t journey to a destination that you’re already at. 

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Second Chances - Mark (Midsommar)

Warning: Major spoilers for the movie, drug use, this fic is dogshite, toxic relationships, and just overall fucked up situations

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif actually)

“Dani, do you really think it’s a good idea to go?”

Dani sighed heavily when you asked that exact question for the fourth time while she was marking her calendar for when their flight to Sweden would take place. “Yes, Y/N. I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

You knew she wasn’t fine.

“I just, I do think getting out of this tiny little apartment would be good for you...but does it have to be on the other side of the world?”

Dani scoffed. “It’s not on the other side of the world, babe, it’s just across the Atlantic.”

“It’s far enough.” You pouted. “Plus, going with that guy isn’t a good idea either.”

“You’ve known Christian as long as you’ve known me, Y/N. You should know his name by now.”

“I do know his name, I just don’t like saying it.”

Dani frowned. “He’s my boyfriend, you’ve gotta learn to accept him at some point.”

You shook your head. “He doesn’t give you what you need, Dani. He’s terrible at supporting you all the time. He’s an asshole.”

“It’s my relationship. Not yours.” Dani snapped, quickly sighing in frustration and sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“No, I’m sorry. I...just want what’s best for you, that’s all.”

Dani smiled weakly, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in for a side hug. “I know, babe, I know. I gotta believe this trip to Sweden is exactly what we need.”

“I really hope so, for your sake.”

Dani subtly wiped away a shed tear off her face, faking a wide smile. “So, did you decide if you wanted to go to the party tonight?”

“Depends, is Mark gonna be there?”

“You know he is.”

“Then no.”

“Come on, Mark’s a good guy.” She’s stifled a chuckle.

“Girl, you can’t even keep a straight face.” You laughed.

“You used to be date him and actually enjoyed spending time with him, ya know.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Please, it’ll be fun! Pelle and Josh will be there too, it won’t just be Mark.”

“Josh is a smart ass who gets on my nerves. I mean, who the hell studies anthropology?”

“Hey!”

“Oh hush, you’re studying psychology.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Okay, Ms. Environmental Scientist.” She said, making you chuckle. “So, are you coming to that party with me or what?”

You didn’t really enjoy going to parties...like, at all. Even if Dani invited you to one, you always made some sort of excuse to get you out of going. But ever since the incident with her family, you felt you needed to spend every waking moment with her, mostly out of fear that you’d lose her forever. You probably spent more time with Dani than her so called boyfriend. 

You felt selfish for feeling pained that Christian was the first one she called when she got the news. You knew her family, actually made an effort to get to know them unlike Christian, and always saw her parents as your own and her sister was always kind to you. You felt like you lost a lot too, but you didn’t allow yourself to feel that way for long, not when they weren’t actually your family. If you were being honest, you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve at all. You spend most of your time taking care of Dani, never having the time to do anything for yourself.

The company Dani kept also was one of the reasons you never wanted to go to one of those parties. Pelle was nice, you could actually see him as a friend. Josh was a know-it-all. To be fair, you were a know-it-all too, but at least you didn’t brag about it every chance you got.

You couldn’t stand Christian. You always saw how awful Christian treated Dani, and how she just took it. One day, you actually almost got into a psychical fight with him for how he gaslighted her. Dani didn’t talk to you for a week after that, and after that, you tried not to let your anger out because you didn’t want to lose your best friend.

Mark...god, Mark could be so annoying. You used to be a couple, it’s true. But after seeing him not do anything about his “best friend” mentally abusing his girlfriend, you couldn’t just stay with him anymore, it just didn’t feel right. Plus, him being way too overprotective was not something that you liked in a person. It was heartbreaking since you actually liked him a lot, you could’ve truthfully say you loved the guy.

You didn’t dislike Mark as much as Christian, but he constantly got on your nerves after your break up. But Dani always reminded you how insecure he must’ve been after the fact. Doesn’t excuse his behavior, of course, but it did help keep your anger in check whenever he tried to push your buttons. If he wasn’t such a dick, you probably would’ve seen an actual future with him, that could’ve been happy.

Yeah...you really didn’t want to go to this party. But seeing Dani’s almost pleading face, you couldn’t argue with her.

So, you were dragged to the last party you would attend before Dani and her friends were shipped off to Sweden, until she got back.

You could see the obviously look of annoyance from Christian when you and Dani entered the apartment. He took Dani to the one of the corner’s of the room and you could faintly hear their conversation, “Why’d you have to bring her, Dani? She almost punched me in the nose last time...”

Your fists clenched instinctively, making your nails dig into the soft flesh. It hurt, but at least it kept you from socking the dude in the face like you’ve always had the urge to do. A dull glared expression settled on your face.

“Aw, is someone happy to see me?”

You immediately rolled your eyes when you heard Mark’s voice, him walking up to you with a shit eating grin plastered on his pale freckled face. “No, I think she’s probably thinking up ways to kill you, friend.” Pelle joked, making you smile a little.

“Honestly, he’s not that far off.” You shrugged, half joking.

Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes, brushing off your hurtful comment with a bitter smile. “Why are you even here? We didn’t invite you.”

“I’m here for Dani.”

“Well, we didn’t explicitly invite her either.” Pelle smacked the boy behind his head so you didn’t have to. “Dude, ow! Hey, it’s not my fault Dani’s a buzzkill.”

Almost as if you could only see red, you were about to punch the ever loving fuck out of his handsome stupid gorgeous face when Christian came up and pulled you out of the room.

“What the fuck do you want?” You hissed, forcibly pushing him away from you.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not looking for a fight. Okay? I have to ask you something.” He sighed.

“Spit it out then.”

“Do you want to come to Sweden with us?” He asked monotone, not hiding the glare directed to you.

“Wow, you must really want me to go.”

“It was Pelle’s idea. He thinks it would be good for Dani.”

“Since when do you care what’s good for Dani? Oh, wait, you don’t. It seems Pelle cares more for her than you do.”

“I care about Dani, okay? I care. That’s the only reason I was convinced to ask you. Please, just...she needs you. She’s your best friend, you don’t want to let her down, do you?”

Gaslighting. You knew that Christian wouldn’t be able to convince you without his number one douchebag power to make your heart bleed more than it already does. He didn’t even have to ask a second time.

And next thing you knew, you were on a plane headed to Sweden. Of course, they had to torture you with booking you a seat next to Mark. But you could handle it for Dani.

“God, I can’t wait to see all those Swedish ladies.” Mark mused, a slight smirk on his face, knowing that comment would upset you.

If those Swedish ladies had any sense, they’d stay away from the giant man completely, is what you wanted to say. But deciding to keep your comments to yourself, you just tried not to gag, rolling your eyes and keeping your eyes trained out the window, seeing the ground getting farther and farther away until your flying above the clouds.

“Silent treatment, huh? I always took you for a social butterfly.” He teased.

You took a deep breath, turning to look at him with a sickeningly sweet smile. “You do know there’s a mosquito flying around your head, right?”

The smirk on Mark’s face quickly went away, turning into a panicked expression. “Where? Where?” He almost shouted, flailing his arms around his head to swat away the imaginary insect. His panic made you laugh. You felt evil, but you convinced yourself he deserved it. When he heard you laugh, he quickly realized you lied. “Not fucking funny.” He pouted, running his hands through his hair, still paranoid.

You sighed when he kept a frown on his face, still looking around for that fake fly. “I swear, there’s no fly. This is the cleanest plane I’ve ever seen in my life, okay? There wouldn’t be any bugs in here.” You never could stay mean for long, even if it was Mark. The small grateful smile Mark gave you made it worth it, and suddenly felt your heart yearn for him against your will.

Many hours later and you finally arrived in Stockholm, only to be told you guys had to travel four more hours to get to Hälsingland. “Oh my god!” Mark whined, like a little bitch you might add.

Thankfully, you always came prepared, sticking some ear buds in and blasting music at full volume to avoid possible small talk and annoying remarks from the two frat bros. You really loved your preparedness after taking your ear buds out for one second only to hear Mark talking about seeing some video about a woman with three clits, what a moron, a cute moron...

You looked at the time, it was nearing 6 pm, but the sky was still blue as ever. It was a bit unnerving, but you tried to ignore the sense of dread you felt when you guys finally arrived to one of your destinations.

You tried not to laugh as Mark pulled his socks over his jeans and walking in a panic to try to avoid potential insect threats in the grass. “Dude, just fucking walk!” Josh fussed.

“Don’t you see all the bugs?!”

“I’m sure all those bugs are much more terrified of you than you are of them.” You voiced.

“Yeah, well, what if they’re so scared that they gang up to attack me in retaliation, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, speeding up your pace to catch up with Dani. Pelle introduced his friend, Ingemar, and his friends, Simon and Connie. They seemed like good people, until they pulled out the shrooms.

It’s not like you hated drugs, you smoked pot pretty much every other day before bed, but shrooms looked hardcore compared to grass. You did not want to partake. But Dani surprised you when she accepted the offer of the tea. “Do you think that’s a good idea, Dani?” You asked concerned.

“She can think for herself.” Christian voiced with a happy and calm tone, but you didn’t mistake the threatening undertone in his voice.

“Hey, it’s okay. Promise.” Dani reassured. You just didn’t want her to have a bad trip or anything, it’s not what she needed, as if you actually knew what she needed. You didn’t even know what you needed half the time. “Are you going to?” She asked, her hand holding onto the bag of shrooms outstretched to you.

“Oh, no. I’m good.” You backed away slightly.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Mark asked mockingly. “You gonna be a pussy?”

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance. If only looks could kill...You grabbed the bag, popping a couple mushrooms in your mouth, immediately cringing in disgust at the taste. You chewed quickly and swallowed, almost regretting the action as soon as you did so. Since when was Mark of all people able to successfully peer pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do? The fuck?

“There’s a nice place to sit over here, guys!” Pelle voiced, motioning the group over to a tree in the middle of the field.

It didn’t take that long for the drugs to kick in. You’d never taken shrooms before, but you definitely noticed when you came up due to how the world around you was starting to look warped, almost like nature was breathing. You felt more appreciative of nature in that moment, and with Pelle talking all philosophical like, it wasn’t hard to relax into the sweet embrace of the drug.

You looked over to Dani, she was the most calm you’ve ever seen her, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing. You snapped out of the thought, not wanting to hyper focus on a drug. “Oh fuck, a new person.” Christian groaned.

“What? I don’t want new people right now!” Mark whined.

“Now who’s being a pussy.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear it.

“I’m going lay down. Everyone else lay down too.” Mark settled on the ground, still breathing heavily. “Guys, do it, it feels so nice. Josh, Y/N, can you lay down please?”

“Fuck off.” You spat while Josh did as he was asked.

“Y/N, please, lay down.” You furrowed your brows when you heard the desperation in his voice, almost like he was going to cry.

“Jesus, fine.” You huffed, laying down on the soft grass.

The sun shining through the leaves of the trees was enough to put you back into a relaxed state, almost giggling at the warped rays of light. “This is nice...” You whispered to yourself.

You jolted when Dani stood up all of a sudden. “I need to go for a walk.” Dani voiced, the waver in her voice clear as day to you.

“Dani, are you okay?” You stood up, wobbling slightly, Dani’s figure waving as she walked away.

“Fine, I’m fine.”

You wanted to follow her, but were you capable enough to give her support if you were high as a kite? It didn’t matter at the point. You probably stood there trying to decide for about five minutes before you actually starting walking in the same direction Dani went, but then it was too late. You didn’t see her anywhere.

Walking into the woods, you immediately got lost in nature, enjoying the colors that seemed to be amplified from the drug. You smiled to yourself, not even the arms wrapping around your shoulders could force your mouth to pull downwards. “Hi.” Mark whispered, giggling as he tightened his embrace.

“What?”

“What?”

You turned yourself around in his arms. “Why’d you follow me?”

“I’m not allowed to see what my friend is doing out in the woods?”

“I’m looking for Dani, and we’re not friends.”

Mark pouted. “We used to be more than friends. Why’d we ever break up?”

You frowned. “Cause you excused Christian’s behavior towards Dani. Plus, you were always a dick.”

“Rude. And to be fair, I’ve been trying to convince Christian to break up with her. They should’ve called it quits awhile ago.”

“The first thing you’ve said in your entire life that’s actually correct. How’re you an undergrad again?” 

If you were sober, you would have never let Mark lean in and kiss you. At least, that’s what you hoped you would’ve done. But his lips were so soft and he was so gentle, you almost wished you were sober to experience the kiss better. It almost felt nostalgic in a way, even though it hadn’t been that long since you two broke up. You had to stop yourself from leaning back in for more when he pulled away.

“You reciprocated.” Mark smiled softly, caressing your face gently.

“Did I? I didn’t mean to, sorry.”

“I miss you, Y/N, a lot. I know you miss me too.” He whispered.

You shook your head and quickly walked away, not feeling like talking about...well, your feelings. Sobering up quickly after that, you kicked yourself for allowing that to happen, even if you happened to enjoy it very much.

You pretty much avoided Mark after the encounter in the woods, you were too awkward to confront your problems with other people, in that regard anyway. But thankfully, six hours after finding Dani peacefully sleeping off the drugs, it was time to hike through even more woods to get to Pelle’s village. 

“So, we’re stopping in Waco before we go to Pelle’s village?” Mark joked.

Yeah, the all white clothing everyone wore did put you off just a bit, almost giving you Jonestown vibes. But they were so nice, taking your bags and giving you strawberries. They seemed like okay people.

You looked over to Mark, rolling your eyes as you saw him exhale smoke from his vape pen. Even in the presence of strangers, he still had no respect apparently. Josh even had to stop him from eating prematurely during one the first meals of the day. The ritualistic part confused you, but you just wrote it off as culture shock.

Sitting in between Dani and Pelle, you almost hit yourself for not remembering a very important fact. “Happy birthday, Dani!” You grinned. “I can’t believe I forgot, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” Dani rubbed your shoulder. “Pelle actually gave me a drawing, which was incredibly sweet.” She said, causing him to have a slight blush on his face.

“I actually did get you something, but it’s in my luggage. Make sure to remind me tonight. But what about Christian?” Dani frowned. “He forgot...of course he did.”

“It’s not his fault. I forgot to remind him, that’s all.”

“Dani, you shouldn’t have to remind him.” You scoffed. “Let’s just hope he remembers soon, else I’ll have to castrate him.”

“Anyway, what’s up with you and Mark? You’ve been avoiding him ever since we hiked here.” She whispered.

You internally groaned. “I always avoid Mark.” Dani just gave you an unimpressed look. “Can you like, stop being a mind reader for once in your life?” You whined.

“What happened?”

You sighed, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “We kissed...” You quickly put your hand over her mouth to stop her from squealing like a school girl. “Shh. It was when we were both high. Didn’t mean anything, at all.”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right?”

The conversation didn’t sway your decision to not stop avoiding Mark, you were going to avoid him for as long as possible and not even Dani could convince you to do otherwise. But you kept thinking about that kiss, and you suddenly found yourself wondering if there was any shock therapy places in Sweden.

Walking around the village a bit more by yourself to try and get some more bearings, Pelle joined you with his usual calming smile. “How are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s pretty interesting, I’d say. Living in New York never really gave me opportunities to be in nature, so this is great. I probably never wouldn’t come if it weren’t for you, Pelle.”

Pelle nodded. “I felt it was best for Dani, considering. She needs someone she can count on.”

“Yeah. It’s great that you’re looking out for her, it’s like you should be with her instead of Christian.” You cringed. “Oh god, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Damn it.”

Pelle chuckled nervously. “It’s okay. Speaking of couples, are you and Mark-”

“Nope.” You quickly interrupted. “Not a chance.”

He hummed in thought. “I don’t mean to pry. It’s just, he told me about what happened...”

You groaned. “That little shit.”

"You know, I think you should give him a second chance."

You laughed. "That came out of nowhere."

"No. It didn't. Mark has always had a thing for you. And I probably shouldn’t tell you this but, he always talks about how he regrets how things went between you two. He still cares about you.”

You frowned, the feeling of missing the bastard starting to bubble up in your heart. “We weren’t good for each other. He needs to grow up.”

“Yes, I do agree he’s...a bit immature.” 

“An understatement, Pelle.” You snorted.

“Personally, I am a big believer of second chances. I just think what if I die tomorrow, would I be happy with my choices in life? You never know when that time will come.”

“Jesus, since when have you been so dark?”

“I’m serious, Y/N. You don’t know when you’re gonna die, so I’d try to live life without regrets.” He smiled calmly.

You kept thinking about what Pelle said well into the night. You had trouble getting over the creepiness of his statements at first, but you knew he meant well. You did miss Mark, more often than you’d admit. You hated that you kind of agreed with Pelle about the whole regret thing.

The next morning, you woke up with a terrible headache. Thinking way too hard for hours on end wasn’t good for your brain. But, it did give you some perspective on how you’d go about interacting with Mark. You admitted to yourself that you did want to be with him, but you also didn’t want to rush into giving him another chance, knowing that just a smidge of eagerness would give the man an overinflated ego.

“What was the name of that activity you said last night, Pelle?” Dani asked.

“Ättestupa.” He answered.

“Sounds fun.” You said, half joking. “Wish we knew what was going to happened, but you seem to love surprises.” You directed to Pelle, a cheeky smile on your face.

From afar, Mark couldn’t help but glare at Pelle. To anyone one else, you were just being friendly, and if Mark had any sense at all, it would’ve just been a friendly smile to him too. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but even he knew he had no right to be jealous since you two weren’t together. Maybe that was his problem, he thought, being too overprotective when you were in a relationship with him. God, he knew being an immature bastard would bite him in the ass one day. He just didn’t realize someone important to him would be scared away in the process.

The brief eye contact the two of you made threw you for a loop, that sense of longing for one another.

“Can you two stop eye fucking each other, please?” Josh voiced rudely. Strangely, it didn’t phase the two of you. Josh only rolled his eyes. “Fine. Miss breakfast then.”

You eventually forced yourself to look away from Mark, the both of you following the rest of group outside for the meal. Of course, the only seat left was next to Mark. How convenient...

Mark was silent as you stood next to him, taking short glances at you and the ground nervously. “Somebody should tell those girls they’re walking stupid.” He joked, trying to lift some of the tension. It didn’t work. 

A boy rung a bell, an old man and woman walked two their assigned seats, and everyone only sat down until they did. Another rack of culture shock moved through you were the couple started chanting in what you assumed was Swedish, but it was honestly hard to tell.

After that, you just ate your food in silence. You were annoyed that you were too awkward to even look in Mark’s direction. But eventually, he cleared his throat to speak. “Did you sleep well?”

It was odd, hearing him sound so timid and quiet. “Uh, I guess so. I don’t really remember falling asleep.” You chucked nervously.

“So...yesterday-”

“Please, don’t.” You interrupted with a huff.

“I think we should talk about it at least.”

You bit your lip in thought, silently agreeing with him. “Not right now. Maybe after, whatever Ättestupa is. Okay?”

He sighed, nodding his head. “Fine. Fine.”

Mark stayed behind as you, your friends, and the rest of the Hårga journeyed to wherever this activity was taking place. You all were standing at the bottom of a cliff, waiting. “What’s this activity supposed to be?” You asked, but no one gave you an answer.

You sighed, crossing your arms around yourself. Whatever was supposed to happen was taking a long time, you almost felt bored. But soon you really wished you’d stayed behind with Mark back at the village.

Everyone watched as the old woman stood at the edge of the cliff, holding her arms outstretched to the sky. You could sense Dani hyperventilating, and you also felt a feeling of dread. You had no idea what was happening, and it scared you.

You let out a loud gasp as the woman fell from the cliff, her body falling onto a stone platform below, her face hitting it hard enough to completely mutilate any recollection that this woman was a human being once. Her face was caved in, it almost didn’t feel real.

You were in silent shock, not comprehending anything else around you, even with how loud Simon and Connie were freaking out.

All you could do was watch as the old man did the same, walking off the cliff and hitting the platform leg first.

“Oh my god, he’s still alive...”

All of the Hårga cried out when they saw the poor man was still alive, sharing his pain that he must’ve been feeling. A few members of the village ended his suffering, taking a large mallet and caving in his face like his partner in the senicide.

One of the elders, Siv, said that taking their own lives was a great joy and that this ritual had been done for many years. You couldn’t believe how barbaric these people were when they were so nice at first. Why were all these people so unfazed by seeing their own people die violently in front of them?

All you could do was follow everyone to the village in silence. You did the same as Dani. You needed to be by yourself right now. You sped walked to the woods surrounding the village, leaning against a tree in exhaustion. Did that really happen, you asked yourself. 

You slid down to the ground as you let the tears start flowing. You didn’t want to be in this place anymore, how could you? You thought back to what Pelle said. He knew that the ritual was happening and he didn’t warn you guys at all. Why would he do that?

“Y/N?” You heard a voice call out. You didn’t answer, you didn’t trust your voice not to come out distorted from your sobbing. Finally making his way through the clearing, Mark saw you hugging yourself on the ground in tears. “Are you okay? I...heard about what happened.”

“No. No, I am not okay. I just saw two people jump to their fucking deaths!” You tried not to cry.

Mark was never good an emotional support, so he simply walked over and sat next to you as you cried. You didn’t know how he managed to pull you onto his lap without you noticing, but you didn’t find it in yourself to care, so you just held onto him like your life depended on it. You didn’t want him to let you go.

“I wanna leave this place...” You mumbled.

“I think that’s understandable.”

“How’s Dani? Did you see her at all?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“I don’t want to leave without her. I gotta find her.” You wiped the leftover tears from your cheeks, standing up with along with Mark. “Will you come with us?”

Mark didn't expect you to ask that. “You want me to go with you?”

“I have a bad feeling about this place. I don’t want any one of us to stay here, but I want you and Dani to come with me at least. I...I still care about you too.” Mark blushed as soon as you said that, making you chuckle lightly. “Seeing those poor people die...I don’t want to live with regrets, I already have enough of those. I don’t want to give up on us without trying to make things work. I admit, I gave up on you too easily. I don’t want to do that again. Okay?”

Mark couldn’t help himself, he soon planted a passionate kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, you weren’t afraid of opening yourself up to him anymore. You wanted him, you’ve always wanted him. It just took a rough wake up call to remind you of that.

You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, standing on your tip toes to meet his lips easier. You felt safe in his arms, him holding you so close that the world and the messed up situation you both were in seemed to fade away. But you knew you were limited on time. You both pulled away breathlessly, wearing smiles on your faces.

“I love you.” Mark said, shocking you. “What? Live life without regrets, right?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I love you.”

“Now, let’s get outta here.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I left it open ended on purpose. I’d like to think that they escaped the Hårga. But if they didn’t, at least they’re together lmao. 

Whenever I feel bad that Mark died in the movie, I just think to how he must’ve put up a fight since that cunt who led him away had a busted lip. Did he deserve it? Yes, probably. But...but...he was a cutie pie🥺

Also, I’m trying to write a fic with Kenny from We’re The Millers, but IT’S SO HARD. Kenny, in general, is hard to write since he’s so...well...himself. Another thing is that the plot is all over the place and my mind keeps bouncing between a bunch of ideas so, it’s literally starting to look like gibberish. But i’m trying

[moonlayl]

One of the most wildest takes i’ve ever come across after joining fandom, was that the loved ones of a problematic fav are actually the ‘bad guys’ or the ones in the wrong for having ‘negative’ reactions to the crimes committed by the fav. 

Fans’ ability to do insane mental gymnastics to make out the villainous characters into the only possible victims and every other character is suddenly the bad guy, is awful, and so frustrating. (And this is coming from someone who DOES love villains/antagonists/characters who end up doing awful things)

Let’s look at the Umbrella Academy for example. Vanya, literally slits her sister’s throat after losing control of her powers, and then leaves her for dead. She doesn’t call an ambulance or call for any type of help. Just...leaves her there to die. If it weren’t for the brothers who happened to be searching for them, Allison would’ve died. And, the brothers find out that Vanya’s out of control powers, that almost killed Allison, and actually ended up hurting other people, will be the reason the whole fucking world is destroyed within DAYS. I’m not saying Luthor was necessarily RIGHT, to lock up Vanya, but also the amount of hatred this character got for doing so, even though it was a pretty logical action to take, was baffling. From what Luthor knew, Vanya was going to kill everyone in like a day. From the information he had, locking her in that vault would make her unable to use her powers. That’s what they thought. He had a pretty normal reaction given the circumstances. Let’s see,  lock up Vanya, who almost killed Allison, is supposed to destroy the world, and might accidentally kill us all, in a vault where she can’t use her powers, or risk everyone, including 7 billion people, dying. I GET that Vanya didn’t have bad intentions. I GET, that her horrible childhood played a huge part in how things turned out, and that her inability to control her abilities aren’t her fault. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s completely shitty to expect people she hurt to just roll with it and be loving angels. Like, was Luthor supposed to go “hey, Allison’s in there, dying, and she likely won’t be able to speak for a long time, and you left her for dead, also you might destroy the whole world tomorrow, but that’s okay because i love you and i’m here for you”???? How is THAT realistic? Yeah, him not locking her up probably wouldn’t have caused her to lose further control, but he had no way of knowing, and it’s really unfair to expect people who were hurt to easily forgive and accept the person responsible for that hurt. Are some people capable of putting that aside, and comforting those who hurt them? Yes, definitely. But it’s unfair to expect it of them, and being reasonably upset/angry isn’t some sort of moral failing. 

Another popular example is ROTS. Anakin (who is one of my fav characters) LITERALLY helped slaughter all the Jedi, and stood by as order 66 was executed. He joined the Sith, and he murdered INNOCENT children, dude strangled his own pregnant wife, but yeah sure, Obi-Wan leaving him burning after giving Anakin multiple warnings to stop fighting is the bad guy. Obi-Wan, who lost EVERYTHING in the span of a few hours, his home, his family, and was betrayed by the closest person to him, is the bad guy for not helping Anakin in the end. It’s “Screw Obi-Wan for adding more pain to poor Anakin’s life”. That’s the tragedy, right? Instead of you know “Anakin lost everything he tried so desperately to save because of his own choices, without realizing it before it was too late”. Like, I’m not saying Anakin is an awful character that shouldn’t be liked. I get that shit happens to people to make them hurt others. But it’s ridiculous to blame every single person in the world and not the person who made the ultimate mistakes. Did Obi-Wan and the jedi contribute to Anakin’s fall in the end? Yes, but without realizing it, and it was never their intention. They couldn’t have known. And Anakin made his own choice in the end. 

Also, let’s look at SPN. Jack, destined to destroy the whole world, accidentally kills many innocent people, and kills Mary, but Dean wanting to lock him up where he can’t hurt anyone, and not willing to call him family after Jack killed his mom, is suddenly the bad, abusive guy??? Even after being told by Chuck, someone they thought was good, that Jack needed to be die for the world to be safe, Dean is still the bad guy for wanting to do what’s safest for everyone, and wanting to avenge his mom since apparently know one else sees her as a victim of Jack? And it’s worse, because the fandom actually blames Mary for being killed. 

A fourth example. In Agents of Shield, Fitz knocks out Daisy, restrains her, and then literally cuts into her neck to retrieve her powers that she didn’t want. he violates her and continues to work as she screams and begs him to stop. He hurts her and betrays her trust completely. He risks permanently paralysing her from the neck down, AND he also threatens an injured Elena, and programs a robot to shoot Mack, yet Daisy being angry and locking him in a cell, after he literally tortured her and acted like a hydra agent, makes her a hardass unlikable bitch?? Mack, who got shot by a man he considered a friend, telling Fitz he’s fucked up, is the bad guy? Really? Mack and Daisy are the awful ones in that scenario, and not Fitz, the man who hurt them both and traumatized them? And it’s worse, because Fitz’ justification afterwards is “Daisy wouldn’t have agreed”. He didn’t even ask. And he continued to defend his actions, and tried to guilt trip her by bringing up past issues that weren’t actually comparable at all. 

Why are certain characters expected to be all understanding and forgiving, and expected to just accept those who hurt them with no hard feelings, and hated for not doing so? Why aren’t those characters allowed to have human reactions, but when the faves constantly hurt others, suddenly a character’s background and trauma can excuse it??? It’s so frustrating interacting with fandom like that. 

And it’s even worse when the characters that ARE capable of that level of understanding and forgiveness, are treated like the only good characters, even though usually the problematic favs that they forgive do nothing except continue to hurt them and are undeserving of that forgiveness.