#YouTube knows. Pinterest knows. Tumblr knows. There is no escape...

[headdaze]

sometimes I really hate how fucking good algorithms are at streamlining what you see to your tastes. like YES OK I KNOW I KEEP REBLOGGING JJK POSTS EVEN THO IVE SWORN OFF THEM LIKE 5,000x, yes, ok, I KNOW YOU KNOW WHO MY BIAS IS ALWAYS B U T that does NOT mean you get to SHOVE IT IN MY FACE. I have dignity stop trying to rob me of it.

[attach a /j to the entirety of this post because I actually love seeing my dignity get robbed, it cracks me up and I get a kick out of admonishing various sites like they actually exist when I see them VERY BLATANTLY catering to my tastes 😂]

[babylipsbaby]

♡ a modern girls guide to being a 2010s it girl: issue #04 ♡

Snow Day Activities

♡ Bubble Baths & Good Vibes ♡

When the weather outside is meh, it’s the perfect excuse to pamper yourself! Run a steamy bubble bath (or take a long, relaxing shower) with your favorite bath goodies; Lush, Bath & Body Works, or whatever makes you feel fancy. Follow it up with your skincare routine, slap on a face mask, and maybe even treat your hair to a deep-conditioning treatment. Don’t forget a mani-pedi! By the time you’re done, you’ll feel like a whole new person.

♡ Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice ♡

Being snowed in is the perfect excuse to get your inner baker on. Whip up some cookies, brownies, or even a fancy meal you’ve been wanting to try. Not only will your house smell amazing, but the warmth from the oven? Instant cozy vibes. Oh, and don’t forget to snap a pic for the ‘gram!

♡ Snowflakes & Selfies ♡

Playing in the snow is fun, but a winter wonderland photoshoot? Elite. Pick out a cozy-but-cute outfit, grab a tripod (or balance your phone on literally anything), and snap some aesthetic shots! Bonus points if you bring in some fun props; mugs, fairy lights, or even the snow itself.

♡ Netflix and Chill ♡

Cold weather = the ultimate excuse to curl up under a blanket and watch all the good stuff. Rewatch your comfort movies (Legally Blonde, The Devil Wears Prada, or literally any rom-com), catch up on your fave shows, or finally start that Netflix series everyone’s been talking about. Bonus points if you make popcorn and hot cocoa for the full cozy experience!

♡ Read, Relax, Repeat ♡

Snowy days are made for curling up with a good book and a warm drink. Whether you’re into fantasy, thrillers, or a cheesy romance, now’s the time to escape reality for a bit. Snuggle up in your comfiest blanket, sip on some tea or cocoa, and let yourself get completely lost in another world.

♡ Work it Out, Babe ♡

Cozying up all day is great, but don’t forget to get your body moving! If you can’t hit the gym, try a fun YouTube workout: try an at-home routine, do some yoga, or even have a little dance party in your room. Exercise doesn’t have to be boring, just find something that makes you feel good!

♡ Slay The Snow Day ♡

Being snowed in means a no judgment zone. Ever wanted to try an Aria Montgomery smokey eye? Go full VS Angel? Or perfect that King Kylie makeup look? Now’s the time! Play around, take some selfies, and find what works best for you.

♡ Perfect Your Messy Bun ♡

Just like makeup, your hair deserves a little experimenting, too! Try out new curl techniques, master the perfect messy bun, or even test a new braid style. No pressure, just a chance to get creative and have fun!

♡ Manifest Your Aesthetic ♡

You finally have time to reorganize your Pinterest boards, update your Tumblr, or refresh those old playlists. Your aesthetic deserves some love, too! Whether it��s revamping your mood boards or creating the ultimate main character energy playlist, use this time to craft your perfect vibe.

♡ New Hobby, Who 'Dis? ♡

You know that hobby you swore you’d try but never got around to? Now’s your moment! Whether it’s knitting, painting, scrapbooking, or making your own jewelry, take some time to be creative. Not feeling artsy? Try baking, journaling, or even learning a new language. Who knows? You might just find your new obsession.

Use #mgg2010 to find every issue!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Previous Issue: Winter Outfit Staples

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Next Issue: Snow Day Movies

[youmeandthestarsss]

Solar return observations pt 1. (Based on my personal experiences)

Hii guys, I know it’s been a super long while but I’m going to try to start posting more content for you guys 😊💕

This year I had Venus in the 6th house square Saturn and at the beginning of this year I was having heated disputes with some coworkers. I came very close to almost quitting my job because I felt like I was being overworked and underpaid, underappreciated by my managers and coworkers, and like my competency was being taken for granted because how much extra effort I put in to my job.

This year I had Mars in Capricorn trine Saturn in the 9th house and it’s been giving me the energy to get things done ✅. The times when I had to do something made me feel even more capable of being able to accomplish it and with efficiency. I felt motivated to get my homework done on time and do it early as well. I really like having this placement bc my natal 12h placements make me sort of lazy and a homebody

My moon is in Libra in the 5th house this year and I’ve been loving watching makeup and hair tutorials and just honestly keeping myself entertained with aesthetics. I started watching tv shows again too!

I think cancer ruling my 2nd house and moon in my 5th house might have something to do with my sweet tooth this year.

So I’ve had moon in the 4th house for two years straight now, & I can tell you right now I’m never been more of a homebody. I hate leaving my house and especially my bed. I’m always thinking about being in my bed whenever I go somewhere. I can also vouch that this placement is the root of my extreme laziness and desperate need to take lots of naps despite the fact that I have Mars in Capricorn this year.

In my SR ASC for this year I’m a Gemini rising and all I can say for it is that I’ve been focused on school a lot and getting ready to graduate, focused on perfecting my driving and also getting my license, communicating and getting along with my peers a lot more, talking a lot more, and doing a whole bunch of thinking. If you’re about to have this rising sign in your sr just know that you’ll be spending most of your time and energy in your head and will feel like you can’t ever stop thinking. This placement has also caused me to reflect on how it is I think and why I think the things I do. Lots of contemplation with this placement.

Neptune in the 10th house and I feel like there’s been some confusion on what it is I want to do for a career and how I’m going to go about it.

Saturn in the 9th house and UGH. Some of my teachers this year have been a real pain in the ass. I’ve had lots of disputes with them over grades and it at first was not working out for me all too well. I also felt like I was bombarded with a lot of homework a lot too this year.

Taurus in the 12h house & I’ve had a few dreams about material things and food

Moon in the the 5th house and mercury in the 7th house & lol let’s just say I’m always daydreaming about being in a relationship

2nd house ruler in libra spending money on things to make me feel good and look more aesthetically pleasing.

Venus in the 12th house 🤝 finding pleasure in solitude

The year I had an 11th house stellium caused me to be very addicted to doomscrolling so if you have that just make sure you take social media breaks every so often.

11th house ruler in the 12th house caused me to delete social media. Till this day I only really use YouTube, Pinterest, and tumblr ofc

I swear the year I had Saturn in the 12th house made me have the worst escapism tendencies. I hated this year and I also struggled with having multiple existential crisis all throughout that year. Let’s just say I became very apathetic towards everything and felt extremely unmotivated to get anything done or pursue my goals

[pomegranate-fawn]

Weekly dump: Nostalgia

Hi everyone, or no one. I kinda just wanted to do a weekly dump post mostly to talk about things going on either in my life or the world, some of these will be super light hearted while others more serious. But I just wanted a place to share all these thoughts along with some photos! Firstly…

This is technically from last Saturday but…I beat Slow Damage along with my partner @diced-sugar . It was incredible, I first became interested in the game back near the end of 2023, I thought Towa’s design was fantastic and had to know more. At the beginning of 2024, I bought. It took over a year for us to beat due to a lot of factors (mostly school and health related issues, 2024 was a rough year for us both) but oh my god. That game changed me, it’s my favorite game now, I was truly fortunate to be born in a time where Slow Damage exists, in May I plan to share my in-depth thoughts and analysis but until then please know that I love that game with whole heart. Same week I beat it, J-list suddenly restocked the physical copy of not only sldm but all the other Chiral games translated by Jast Blue. I was hyped and bought it since I love to own physical media :)

Next, I’ve been trying to break my habit of scrolling and get back into creating art…keyword is “trying”. It’s not always an easy task, tumblr and Pinterest are the only social media platforms I have (not counting YouTube) and even then I’ll wildly scroll to just fill the static void that is my mind. So…how do I solve this? Recognizing the problem is the first step to fixing it, that’s what my therapist said. But I feel like it’s the worst part since I know it’s not good but keep doing it. I recently got clip studio paint on my tablet to draw but I’m not good at it yet and even though everyone’s art journey is different I can’t help feeling a bit embarrassed that I’m not good at art since I’m older.

I plan to keep practicing but my lack of skill can make it frustrating. I’m a good writer but I’m in my finals crunch and sometimes my brain just doesn’t have anything to write. So I’ve slowly started playing some of my old childhood favorites in hopes of combatting the scrolling, firstly I’ve started replaying animals crossing new leaf. The game is super nostalgic to me and I used to play it for an absurd amount of time. Well I started with City Folk, but once I got a 3ds I ditched city folk in a heartbeat.

I lost my original cartridge but my 3ds is jailbroken so I can play whatever I want whenever I want essentially. Now, I want to say this to anyone who used to love this game as a kid. You will not relive your childhood playing acnl. At least…I don’t feel the same as when I used to play it, and that’s not a bad thing. I am no longer the ten year old girl I once was, I am now twenty two years old, I have a job I hate, am about to receive my bachelors, and I finally have cats. Something ten year old Lynn would scream about all she wanted was a cat of her own. I don’t feel the same awe I once did for the world of animal crossing…but I feel I appreciate it more. The atmosphere is often called depressing but I don’t see it that way, it’s calm and quiet…quaint but not sad. I think the reason people find acnl sad is because they believed they’d be able to relive their past, but it’s not there anymore. The game remains the same but you’ve changed.

When thinking about nostalgia and a return to simpler times, I tend to have a fuzzy memory. I can’t remember much of my childhood, I blocked out a lot of stuff so much so that I’ll ask my mom if she remembers a specific incident from when I was a kid only for her to look at me with pained eyes and tell me that what I said wasn’t a real memory. I’m content never memorizing everything in detail, I know I suffered as a kid and that my few means of escapism such as video games and reading would always remain. As a kid I rejected most things feminine as a result of my trauma, meaning when I was given a more girly game I often hated it. That isn’t the case now, after a long or stressful day the last thing I want to do is play fire emblem or Zelda, I want to play animal crossing or Style Savvy.

I used to hate this game as a kid but now it’s my bread and butter. I love fashion so much but I’m not always inclined to try new styles irl especially since I’m goth so most of the time I’m buying more pieces to bulk up my wardrobe. I mean I can’t have the same shade of black they must all be different shades! But in style savvy I can dress my character in whatever little outfit I want and have the time of my life. It’s not a nostalgic game despite me playing it as a child, but it’s still a game I play a ton of whenever I’m in the mood for something fun but simple.

I crashed out hard earlier this week and while I don’t want to talk about that at length I did want to talk about my main outlet, writing. It makes me sad that AI threatens to take over all aspects of writing because even the worst part, editing, feels rewarding when it’s finally complete. At least, I’d rather edit a paper myself, beg a friend or my gf to do it, or pay a tutor to do it over handing my hard work over to a stupid robot. I’ve tried to make my work desk super aesthetic in hopes of motivating me to write more…but that isn’t always possible as I have BACK ISSUES! But I’m trying to write more at my desk for my own sake. Then again I guess it doesn’t matter where I’m writing as long as it turns out good.

As a child I wasn’t really allowed to read children’s books as my grandpa said they were beneath me. The only children’s book I read was Alice in Wonderland and honestly considering that I’m still a big Alice fan to this day I wonder if the denial of other books meant for my age demographic made me lock on Alice more than I would have had I been allowed more children’s literature. This is all to say I’m reading Warrior Cats as an adult as my gf rlly loves these books…I just finished Forest of Secrets and god warrior fans are strong. I actually dislike the writing a lot in these books but not because the prose is bad. I understand these are children’s books but I feel like because they are children’s books they have the responsibility to be better regarding certain topics. I swear almost every time poor Cinderpaw is brought up either Fireheart or another character has to remind us that she’s disabled and can’t be a warrior and that this is a horrible fate.

Only cat that doesn’t do this is my girl Yellowfang but ever since the first book she’s been kinda sidelined which sucks cause she’s still my favorite so far which…I don’t know if that’s an issue of me holding onto Yellowfang or an issue of the books not making many other cats interesting so far. I mean I really like Fireheart and Bluestar but that’s it. I was so excited when Sandpaw became Sandstorm and started being friendly with Fireheart since I know they become mates. So I was like omg they’re gonna start bonding! But not really? It’s more like she’s friendly with him and he’s either neutral or like, “not now Sandstorm MY BEST FRIEND GRAYSTRIPE NEEDS ME!” God I’m sorry for any Graystripe lovers I do not care for him right now. Maybe that’ll change but he’s so selfish! But I will at least manage to finish The Prophecy Begins, I’m reading a book per month and that means in a few days I’ll start the fourth book, yay! In honor of warriors take my cat, Willow. I think she’d be perfect for irl Mapleshade casting if they ever did a weird irl warriors.

I’ve focused a lot on nostalgia but what even invokes such a feeling? It’s different for everyone, honestly it’s hard for me to feel nostalgic as the past wasn’t kind to me. I know a lot of people are nostalgic for the year 2016, but for me, I hated that year due to so many horrible things that happened to me in it. It’s hard to remember the fun trends or music that came out when that was the year I tried to leave this world. But when talking about nostalgia, I can’t help but feel it the most in the moment. When I’m laughing with a friend a voice in the back of my mind whispers “this will pass and remain only in your memories”. When I hold my partner close the same voice appears again, when I’m with my cats I mourn them despite both of them being happy and young girls. I have no past and can only be nostalgic for the present and the future I have yet to live…

Well, that’s how I think of it at least. I don’t know if every week will have a theme or not but I just wanted to get my thoughts out on this. Writing in a Google doc or notebook can only do so much, I want my embarrassing thoughts to be out in the open for everyone on tumblr dot com to read…not really but why not share my thoughts here? It is a blogging site, after all. If you’ve read this far you get a reward…face reveal! Chose this photo since I thought I looked like a sad deer caught in headlights okie bye see you next week or when I need to rant about yaoi or warrior cats again…

SYKE I’m not done yet, wanted to share a song I’ve listened to a lot this week + a video I liked. I’m doing two songs this week because I make the rules! First we have Heart aka the new alien stage song. Sua’s Va has the prettiest voice ever and Sua is my fav character so I felt like this was me being given a gift for how much I was struggling this week lol. It’s such a gorgeous song.

Next is a song from a visual novel I have yet to play or even check out. So pls if you like it don’t give spoilers! But I love anything that Itou Kanako does especially since she sang all of the songs for Clear’s endings and her voice is lovely. I may actually play the game the song is from cause I love the song that much!!! It’s so beautiful!

Lastly the video I liked this week. I actually didn’t watch much…but occasionally I watch/listen to the podcast A Bit Fruity by Matt Bernstein. I don’t listen to every episode but he recently did one with one of my favorite YouTubers Kat Blaque and I really loved it. I feel like they talked a lot about gender and the way that’s different for everyone while not being too cruel to the person they were criticizing which was refreshing since when I was on Twitter everyone just made fun of their looks and called it a day. I think that’s a cheap and pathetic thing to do especially since you’re just giving them more attention and further fueling their victim complex if you attack features they were born with. But yeah I really liked this episode, okay that’s officially all now…goodbye! Have a lovely Sunday!

[messofcontradictions01]

Headcanons — magic school bus kids + social media

arnold: has a side instagram just for posting pictures of cool rocks he sees. loves a news podcast, probably listens to all things considered every day to stay up to date. has an instagram story highlight documenting every time his friends get him into a ridiculous situation, and looking tiredly into the camera.

carlos: trying unsuccessfully to get a joke tweet to go viral. joined tumblr years ago for the memes and is no longer sure if there’s a way out. probably loves commentary youtube and the r/dadjokes subreddit. secretly reads back through all of dorothy ann’s old goodreads reviews when he misses her. posts tiktok skits using his friends as mediocre supporting actors.

dorothy ann: has a propensity for getting lost in youtube video essay rabbit holes. absolute queen of goodreads, constantly accidentally making other people feel bad with how quickly she meets her yearly reading goal. has an immaculate linkedIn. listens to a bunch of different science-y podcasts, like hidden brain and radio lab. comments on all of nasa’s instagram posts.

keesha: runs a recipe blog. posts lots about different social justice movements. has a facebook with exactly one friend; her grandmother, who hasn’t learned how to use anything else and just likes to send her granddaughter things. takes and posts lots of cute candids of her friends. queen of the curated pinterest board. likes to record mini vlogs of her outings with friends.

phoebe: thinks the internet should exclusively be used for watching cute animal videos, but has to get her phone pulled away from her and forcibly stopped from writing rant comments to people who don’t properly care for their pets. loves taking pictures of plants, if there were such a thing as iNaturalist influencer she would be one. streams animal crossing on twitch for a dedicated following of three subscribers (one of them is arnold).

ralphie: never escaped 2010s geek culture; probably follows a bunch of star wars and marvel meme pages. live tweets sports games; everyone else mutes him during the world cup. wants to start a bro podcast, but knows keesha would stop being his friend if he did.

tim: runs an art instagram with a pretty decent following. likes to log foreign art films no one else has seen on letterboxd. definitely had a vsco when that was a thing people did. forces the gang to maintain a curated discord channel.

wanda: posts tiktoks of her doing the same prank on arnold over and over and it scaring him every time. secretly runs a molly cule fan page. likes to edit together cool videos of her doing skateboard tricks set to pop punk. reposts memes that are too niche or weird for anyone else to find funny on her insta story almost daily. had a months-long streak of planking in strange places for her bereal.

[artbycs]

~ Intro Post ~

Hiii!! 🩵 You can call me Arty!

This is my main tumblr account, @artys-computer is my second main account, @anotherklancer is my klance sideblog, @art-y-thoughts is where i spew any and all thoughts

Pronouns: she/her and/or they/them

Taken ^-^ 🩵💜🩵💜

Ao3: @Artbycs

Sagittarius, bi, demi, quiet, short, neurodivergent, mental and physical illness haver, animation lover, love lover, art lover

Time zone: EST

Favorite foods: Potato (all forms), Cheese (all but cottage cheese), raspberry flavored things (have never tasted an actual raspberry in my life)

Favorite animal: Birds

Favorite color:

Fandoms:

Miraculous Ladybug, My Hero Academia, Oran High School Host Club (anime), Yuri!!! On Ice, HIStory 2: Right Or Wrong, HIStory 3: Trapped, HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, HIStory 4: Close To You, Down To Earth (webtoon), Heartstopper (webtoon + show), MCYT, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The Two Princes (podcast) [only listened to season 1], Disney, Arcane, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Sofia The First, The Amazing Digital Circus

Smaller fandoms:

Owl house, She-Ra and the princesses of power, Good Omens, Nimona (movie), EEAAO

Even smaller: (just know ships)

Snufkin + Moomintroll, Poison Ivy + Harley Quinn, Marceline + Princess Bubble, tom + tord (eddsworld)

Hobbies:

Crocheting, drawing (traditionally and digitally), arts & crafts, writing, designing, playing online escape rooms, reading graphic novels/webtoons, watching YouTube, scrolling Pinterest, scrolling Tumblr (obviously), editing, watching craft videos

~~

Im probably missing things on this but I'll update this as time goes on

Love you all!!! 🩵🩵🩵

~~

My tags: ⤵️

[yasperapologist]

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

CALLOUT PO$T: Xavier is a LIAR and a THIEF

yazzmatazzsixtynine on: tumblr | soundcloud | youtube | instagram | pinterest | tik tok | twitter | facebook | quora | waze | ~ya$per~

#xavier #eugene xavier duckworth jr #problematic #music #celebrity #tmz #hot

( 1,642 notes )

🌈chels Follow

can whoever is sending me anonymous hate asks fucking stop

🤰🏽jenn1fer Follow

stay strong girlie 💔 everything happens for a reason

🤰🏻jenn2fer Follow

wow... who would do that? 🤔

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

sounds like xavier tbh. like if u agree. ~ya$per~

🥸 its-walt Follow

i wish someone would send me asks

( 4 notes )

💪🏻 diarrheabrett Follow

fuck xavier. i hate that weaselly little bitch. if you try to bone my wife i will destroy you. also who wears a suit jacket with no shirt?? just because you have a sculpted, perfect chest doesn't mean you have to show it off all the time. i guess some girls are into that kind of thing. he should just take off the fucking jacket.

#gonna beat him up #masculine #ripped #family

🎨 zoë-ëoz Follow

BRETT?!

💪🏻 diarrheabrett Follow

shit how do i delete a post

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

hey brett, check out this cool website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality i think it could maybe explain some things for you ~ya$per~

💪🏻 diarrheabrett Follow

how will this help me beat up xavier?

( 8 notes )

👨🏿‍💻aniq-adjaye Follow

Would anybody be interested in beta testing my newest escape room puzzle? My coworkers all say it's too hard, but I think anyone with high school level mathematics proficiency should be able to piece it together based on the other hints I've provided.

🎨 zoë-ëoz Follow

Sure! That sounds like fun!

🎨 zoë-ëoz Follow

Wow, that was really hard! You're so talented! I made it through but I think the trigonometry might a bit too much. Sorry, Aniq! 😓

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

anything for my boy aniq!!!!!! lucky for us both i am ah-mahzing at math so i'm gonna crush this!!! where do i sign up? ~ya$per~

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

i'm going to die here

( 4 notes )

🌈chels Follow

do you ever feel like everything you touch turns to shit

💚yas-alt Follow

yeah </3

( 1 note )

jenn2fer asked:

delete your blog bitch. everyone knows what you did. your hair is a mess

🌈chels Follow

lmao. WOW. forgot to hit "ask anonymously," jennifer?

#IT'S JUST JEWISH HAIR

🤰🏻jenn2fer Follow

i was hacked

🥸 its-walt Follow

hi its walt from high school, remember me?

( 26 notes )

🎨 zoë-ëoz Follow

they should give me landmines

( 384 notes )

👨🏿‍💻aniq-adjaye Follow

Some thoughts on the debate over LOTR as an allegory for World War I, the distinction between allegory and applicability, and the relevance of authorial intent:

🎤 yazzmatazzsixtynine Follow

all i know is frodo and sam 1000% hooked up on that mountain

( 23 notes )

[lacefuneral]

An actually funny video of you breaching containment

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJCJ6b7RxQT/?igsh=MXExYXdrOXZvaDJ3bg==

this is CRAZY especially because i don't think that instagram account is the one voice acting - this looks like stolen content from maybe youtube? because i know that "youtubers voice acting posts" is a whole subset of content, and the insta account appears to be advertising some sort of like. dating service??? possibly irl pick-up artist (incel) classes????

so it's not only that someone VA'd my shitpost, but that the VA was stolen and reposted to instagram. so it's like me escaping containment twice

i've had something kinda similar happen where i've had a fandom post of mine get posted to insta, and then a twitter user saw it, and then they screencapped it and posted it on twitter.... where i saw it myself. and it was SOOOO surreal

weirdest instance of my posts escaping tho is a screenshot i posted on tumblr of me talking to my friend on discord. and i was a little drowsy/dizzy and i posted a pic of a butterfly and i was like "this is the worlds smallest gay man."

(and i remember i said this because the butterfly was blue and green - so it reminded me of the ocean gay man flag and it also reminded me of stede bonnet's teal suit from our flag means death. but that isn't explained in the screenshot)

anyway, that butterfly post escaped to pinterest. where my friend saw it... the friend that i had been texting IN THE SCREENSHOT. and the pinterest commenters were like "this is soooo izzy hands" (from our flag means death)

which is. so funny because my friend and i fucking hate that character. like i very much was not talking about him 💀

[artys-computer]

~ Intro Post ~

Hiii!! 🩵 You can call me Arty!

My main tumblr account is @artbycs, this is my second main account, @anotherklancer is my klance sideblog, @art-y-thoughts is where i spew any and all thoughts

Pronouns: she/her and/or they/them

Taken ^-^ 🩵💜🩵💜

Ao3: @Artbycs

Sagittarius, bi, demi, quiet, short, neurodivergent, mental and physical illness haver, animation lover, love lover, art lover

Time zone: EST

Favorite foods: Potato (all forms), Cheese (all but cottage cheese), raspberry flavored things (have never tasted an actual raspberry in my life)

Favorite animal: Birds

Favorite color:

Fandoms:

Miraculous Ladybug, My Hero Academia, Oran High School Host Club (anime), Yuri!!! On Ice, HIStory 2: Right Or Wrong, HIStory 3: Trapped, HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, HIStory 4: Close To You, Down To Earth (webtoon), Heartstopper (webtoon + show), MCYT, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The Two Princes (podcast) [only listened to season 1], Disney, Arcane, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Sofia The First

Smaller fandoms:

Owl house, She-Ra and the princesses of power, Good Omens, Nimona (movie), EEAAO

Even smaller: (just know ships)

Snufkin + Moomintroll, Poison Ivy + Harley Quinn, Marceline + Princess Bubble, tom + tord (eddsworld)

Hobbies:

Crocheting, drawing (traditionally and digitally), arts & crafts, writing, designing, playing online escape rooms, reading graphic novels/webtoons, watching YouTube, scrolling Pinterest, scrolling Tumblr (obviously), editing, watching craft videos

~~

Im probably missing things on this but I'll update this as time goes on

Love you all!!! 🩵🩵🩵

~~

My tags: ⤵️

[squarebracket-trickster]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you @sunset-a-story for ALSO tagging me way back in August. I AM SO SORRY

1. What motivates you to write?

It itchy, itchy urge to create something. I NEED it OUT. I MUST make sense of it ALL. The thoughts need ordering and putting together to maximize the happy chemicals. I see something I like that someone else made and I get jealous so I must do something like that, but MY way, and BETTER. It all makes me very itchy (restless).

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I skimmed my entire 3rd draft (so far) to pick a line. There are a lot of good ones but none I liked more than the rest - I couldn't choose. So... I know I've already shared this one but dammit. It is a kickass line. It's also the first line of WIPVII - and you do not know what devils I sold my soul to to escape THAT writer's block.

I will live, I tell myself through the salt water in my eyes and the sting of the south wind on my face. This will make for a good story one day.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Banter and wit. Which is funny because I always thought that was the thing I would struggle most with - I was the academic overachiever who took herself too seriously in school. But when I reread my drafts there is something that makes me laugh in nearly every scene. Most of my highlighted lines are banter or retorts.

6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

I love seeing writeblr content on my dash and I looooove getting interactions when I liveblog my writing. It is so nice to be able to share this with people who love it too (rather than inflicting it on my poor irl friends who are not writers). I just love all you Writeblr friends so much!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

A 2x3.5' and a 3x5.5' whiteboard with a rainbow's worth of whiteboard markers in different thicknesses for brainstorming, family trees, timelines. My sketchbook, a mechanical pencil, and YouTube drawing tutorials for my maps and concept art. MS Word, dark mode, Times New Roman pt 11, with comments enabled for my manuscripts, outlines (bullet points), and worldbuilding notes. Subfolders within subfolders stored on my PC to organize all my Word docs. Two separate USBs which my completed manuscripts are saved to (in case something happens to my computer AND one of the USBs).

I have yet to find any worldbuilding or map making software (and it hasn't been for lack of looking) that gives me enough flexibility. I have yet to find any writing software that has features Word doesn't but that would actually help my process rather than overwhelm me.

I do want to write out a draft of WIPVII by hand at some point (though with my penchant for writing hand cramps this might be doomed). I also want to try an electric typewriter.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

WIPVII doesn't have very complex worldbuilding (there is no magic and most of it is ripped from real world history) but I do always love it when authors tell us what way the wind is coming, what smells it carries, what the view is in the distance, whose lands those are... that kind of stuff. Really creates a sense of place. I spent a lot of time mapping all this out in my own novel and I am very happy with it! The description feels so rich!

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Learn more about the craft. Writing is problem solving. If you aren't happy with something figure out why - the mechanics and technique behind writing. If you're still stuck learn even more. There are so many great, free resources on tumblr, youtube, blogs, pinterest (though it is most stolen from tumblr) even twitter and tiktok.

Also, learn how to filter out what advice is helpful now versus what should wait for later so you don't get overwhelmed. If you haven't even written a first draft yet don't bother with pacing, exposition, line editing, or let alone how to query. Just focus on the macro-stuff like plot and character arcs.

Tagging with the lightest brush on the shoulder these nine alleged humans: @cheeto-flavoured-pasta, @alnaperera, @bluberimufim, @daisywords, @boundedsea, @full-on-sam, @writernopal, @ashen-crest, @surroundedbypearls

[interwebois]

Started this Tumblr💖 7/6/2023

1/18/2024

Hello 👋 | We Love New Friends😊

Simply Plural is Ashla-Interweb-bois | Pexels has free to use photos. Some uses these 😊

We are a OSDD-1b now leaning towards more DID System because of discovery but still not sure🧡 Discovered on 11/29/2022

The Ashla System🧡 aka Interweb bois🌙 -🖤🌙

Not diagnosed Professionally📝

Majority of Us are Christians and God and Jesus Makes Us Happy☺️ and is 1 of Our Main Coping Mechanism other @mental-health-and-jesus ✝️ 1/17/2024

Community 📇

☺️Personal Blogs

And a new blog @co-conscious-culture ⭐️3/14/2024

Hope You Have Fun wiTh Me @steven-granty-boi 💚01/19/2024 :)

Hang out with yours truly @jake-in-the-know 💜5/06/2024🌹

Orange Cat & Guitar in hand @llewyn-with-a-cat 🩵6/01/2024🎸

A Bookmark 🔖 in Moi Hand @levy-with-a-book 🩶6/08/2024 ^_^

This Ain’t No Virtual Reality Man@isaac-kalder-19 🖤10/17/2024🤿

Apps That Help Us🧡

•Simply Plural 🏹 •Pexels 🖼️ for Non Copyright Photos •GIF Maker🤳🏻 •Pinterest ✂️ •YouTube ❤️ for the Playlist •Alarm Clock ⏰ •Spotify 🎶 •Notes 📝 •Google Slide ✍🏻

Our Hyperfixations are :)

Star Wars💫 especially Rebels⚡️

Moon Knight🌙 of Course (How We Discovered Being Plural✨)

Ultimate Spider-Man🕷️ (2012-2016)

Sherlock Holmes 🔎🎻 (reading The Complete Sherlock Holmes)

Wonka 🍫 & the Soundtrack🎶

The Chosen✝️

Disney🏰 and Pixar🖼️ especially Monsters, INC. franchise🧢

Night at The Museum🌕

Brooklyn Nine-Nine🕵️

What We Love to Do🫶 Our Interest🎶

Playing the Guitar🎸 and Singing🎼

Everything about the Filming Process🎥 Voice Acting🎙️ Psychology🧠 Writing✍🏻

American Revolutionary Era🇺🇸

Bible Era

Egyptian Mythology

Songs🎧

Taylor Swift | Disney | Old Songs | Musiclas | Orchestra | Religious

Our Playlist Mix 💿

1st Jesus Music 2nd Source Music Isaac🖤☺️

YouTubers❤️ We Watch

•McJuggerNuggets •stampylonghead •PopularMMOs •JStuStudios •Watcher •Taskmaster •Kendall Rae •BOZE vs. the WORLD •Patty Mayo •Matt Rose •Scott Cramer •Pente Patrol Star Wars •Dry Bar Comedy •The Chosen •Heart Dive with Kaneo Gibson •Saturday Night Live •Karen Puzzles •So Uncivilized •And DID/OSDD Content Creators🎥

System Members Who Are Comfortable Saying Who They Are✨

Our YouTube❤️ Channels🎬

Description Semi-Fictional Interject are Parts at the Beginning didn’t Identify with any look and or a Fragment that turned into an Alter by adopting a body :)

💫🌙

Body’s Info

Age: 21 in 2023

Birthday: 11/22

Race: Half Japanese🇯🇵 & American🇺🇸

Language: English🇺🇸 & Japanese🇯🇵

Most of Us identify with being Japanese and American🇯🇵🇺🇸🇬🇧

Religion: Christianity

Gender: Non Binary Presenting

Pronouns: Mostly They because Co-Con a Lot

Sexuality: Gynesexual for Outside Folks

💫🌙

Alice🩷 Identifying with Body

💫🌙

Ashla🧡 Collective Name

Host/Adult

Doesn’t feel Emotionally Attached aka The Face

💫🌙

Isaac🖤

Fictional Interject/Adult

Fictive: My Virtual Escape/ The Devil Inside S1

Age: 21 in 2023

Birthday 10/29

• Edgy Humor •Punk Rock •Kinda with Steven💚 & Llewyn🩵 & Levy🩶 | 8/01/2024 Dating💝

💫🌙

Steven💚

Co-Host/Subsystem/Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult

Fictive: Moon Knight

Age: Late 22

Subsystem with Llewyn🩵 and Levy🩶 and Co-Host also with Levy🩶 •Watches over Marc 💙

•Makes Us Laugh •Old Cozy Songs •Kinda with Isaac🖤 8/01/2024 Dating💝 (The Relationship in the Marvel TV Series Universe of Steven, Marc and Jake are really different in Our System💫 It’s more separate and it’s more after Season 1)

💫🌙

Levy🩶

Co-Host/Subsystem/Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult

Fictive: Scenes from a Marriage (Haven’t actually watched all of it sooo)

Age: Late 30s

•Sophisticated •Taylor Swift •Has a Daughter in System •With Alicia🍯 taking care of Littles🌸 / Co-Parent

💫🌙

Llewyn🩵

Subsystem/Fictional Interject/Adult

Fictive: Inside Llewyn Davis (Doesn’t identify with from his source but the covers the Littles love 🍊)

Age: 27

•Lyrical •Kinda with Isaac🖤

💫🌙

Marc💙 (Woffie❄️ might have fused with Marc? Still figuring things out) | /Marcy🌨️

Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult

Fictive: Moon Knight

Age: Late 20s Early 30s

💫🌙

Alice💖

Identifies with the Body but younger than the body.

💫🌙

Woffie❄️ (might have fused with Marc? Still figuring things out)

Non-Human

Wolf

Age: Age Slider not sure exactly but it’s a pretty wide

• Loves Snow •Mountain’s with Snow (pretty much Snow haha)

💫🌙

Lucy🌺

Age: 17

•Daughter of Levy🩶 •Can’t really interact with Levy🩶 •Book lover

💫🌙

Jake💜

Semi-Fictional Interject/Non-Human/Adult

Fictive: Moon Knight

Age: Late 28

💫🌙

Alicia🍯

Age: 30s

•With Levy🩶 taking care of Littles🌸 / Co-Parent

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful." COLOSSIANS 3:15✝️

“That there should be no schism in the body; by that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.” 1 Corinthians 12:25-27✝️

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12✝️ [5/07/2024]

⬇️ It’s kinda weird that We created this Spotify Playlist before Knowing that We’re a System💫🌙 now of course adding way more to it

Top made by @sysboxes and bottoms Hehe made by @zero-templates

Like every System Parts there’s always a reason, for their looks, names, ages, gender, se*uality it’s never random and connected to the body’s story thus far but for Us it’s probably because getting vulnerable just like in Moon Knight it represents having siblings, twins because for me my mom had a few miscarriage before and after me and one of them was my twin 🥹 so that’s probably why and also Oscar Isaac talks about in Saturday Night Live “They all deal with pain loss and confusion” 🧡

[growandrecover]

hey… this is kinda weird cuz iam not used to writing a stranger and telling them about stuff that feels so personal as an 3d but I need help in some way. So my story: I started restricting a couple years ago, it went downhill pretty fast and I was hospitalised soon. I then spend almost a year recovering in clinics. I got back home, everything went quite well (just some up and downs but nothing serious) until about a month ago… I am starting to feel worse again. Following triggering accounts (it seems like an addiction), foodnoise, guilt… u name it. There is still this spark of hope and this part of me that wants recovery but I feel like I suck at both, the 3d and recovery… thank u for listening

Hi, anon. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there too.

I know the feeling of wanting to engage in ed behavior but also being miserable and wanting to escape it. I know you're not going to want to do this, but from an outsider's perspective, I think you need to tell someone. Based on the fact that you've been hospitalized (sounds like at least once?), I'm assuming you have a therapist or help of some kind? Or at least still have their contact information? If so, I would strongly advise you to reach out to them. If you're still in contact, and see them on a regular basis, they need to be made aware of this asap.

I know, I know. You don't want to give up the ed, the rules, the "body", or whatever it may be. Been there, done that. But as someone who has done this NUMEROUS times, I'm going to tell you what I wish someone would have told me: You might be scared, and that's okay. You want to keep the ed and the body you think/know it'll give you. That's valid. But you also want to be free of it. That's valid too. But as we both know, the ed only ever hurts us. I know it feels good in a roundabout way, and you may feel like you're in control, but you're not.

If you're unable to seek professional help, I'd unfollow those accounts. There really is something sickly satisfying about them, and I think that's part of what draws us in. But if you can just get them out of your feed, that could help with the thoughts. When I feel like I'm on the verge of a relapse, I have this one model I always look to for a trigger, and I go and search for her pictures. But getting her photos out of my phone completely (even on Pinterest, Tumblr, TikTok, Youtube, all of it) always helps get my mind out of that space. Seeing it just makes it worse.

I know that Tumblr is the home of ed content, and Twitter is getting there too. If you have to, delete the app off your phone. Just get rid of the temptation.

If you need accounts to scroll through, try looking through recovery accounts. You may not be able to follow their advice right now, but at least seeing that mindset could be beneficial.

I apologize that this is so short, but I think the most beneficial thing for you would be to get professional help if you can. I'd hate for you to relapse. (I'm not shaming you if you do!! I'm just saying that I know that feeling, and I hate that other people feel it as well)

If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you, anon. You can do this <3

[nwposting]

A Perfect Family Getaway with Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong Package Tour

Escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the serene beauty of the Eastern Himalayas with a Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong package tour. Perfect for nature lovers and peace seekers, this tour takes you through scenic hill stations, dense forests, and tranquil monasteries. Whether you’re looking for an adventurous getaway or a soulful retreat, this journey has it all.

Places to Explore during Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong tour package :

The journey through these lesser-explored gems of North Bengal feels like stepping into a painting. Picture emerald-green forests, mist-clad hills, vibrant monasteries, and a welcoming chill in the air. Each destination has a unique charm:

Lava, a quaint hill station, is known for its proximity to Neora Valley National Park and serene monasteries.

Lolegaon, a small hamlet, offers mesmerizing sunrise views and the famous Canopy Walk.

Rishop, a peaceful hamlet nestled amidst pine and rhododendron forests, is perfect for travelers looking to reconnect with nature.

Kalimpong, with its colonial charm and cultural diversity, adds a dash of vibrancy to the tour.

Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong package tour Details

Duration: 4 Nights, 5 Days ([1N Kolakham, 1N Rishop, 1N Lolegaon, 1N Lava])

Pickup/Drop Points: NJP / Bagdogra Airport / Tenzing Norgay Bus Stand

package URL : https://www.naturewings.com/packages/Lava-Lolegaon-Rishop-With-Kalimpong-tour-package

Itinerary Overview:

Day 1: Transfer to Rishop

Day 2: Rishop to Kalimpong sightseeing, stay in Lolegaon

Day 3: Lolegaon to Kolakham tour

Day 4: Kolakham to Lava sightseeing

Day 5: Lava to NJP/IXB drop

Inclusions

Transfers in a private non-AC vehicle.

Accommodation in premium properties.

Meal plans as per choice.

Entry fees for all included attractions.

Exclusions in Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong package tour

Travel costs to/from NJP or Bagdogra.

Personal expenses like tips, shopping, and camera fees.

GST and any additional services not mentioned.

Conclusion

The Lava Lolegaon Rishop Kalimpong tour package is a perfect blend of adventure and relaxation, offering something for everyone. Whether it’s watching the sunrise over the Kanchenjunga, walking amidst lush forests, or exploring local culture, this tour will leave you rejuvenated. Book your trip today and embark on an unforgettable journey into the heart of the Himalayas!

Know more about this package at +91-97485 81505

NatureWings Holidays Limited DGK - 417 DLF Galleria Newtown, Kolkata, West Bengal 700156 Phone: 098300 13505

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/naturewingsholidayslimited 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/NatureWings 

Pinterest: https://in.pinterest.com/naturewingsenq/ 

YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/NATUREWINGS-HOLIDAYS 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naturewings-holidays-limited 

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nwings 

About.me: https://about.me/naturewings

[skiplo-wave]

I’m seeing a lot of people sick of ads and ai in the content they buy. Even on reddit, the absolute CAPITAL of AI defenders, they’re getting tired of it. People just opting out of buying shit now.

Coz think about it. When someone makes a product, an artwork, a game, or piece of media, you’re not just paying for the product itself, you’re paying for the time, effort, and labour that went into crafting that product. That artwork that was painted or drawn took time and effort from the artist. That game you paid for took time and effort from so many people: artists, game designers, programmers, game developers, level designers, producers, software engineers, marketing managers, animators & vfx artists, testers, audio engineers, multimedia specialists, distributors, etc. You’re paying for all of THEIR efforts and time. But you’re also paying for a finished product. And you can barely get a finished product nowadays.

If you replace all of this with cheap AI… why am I paying so much? Why am I paying at all? AI does no labour. When I pay, I’m paying for the labour that HUMANS did. If AI can just spurn out a cheap copy… why am I paying the same price for AI that I would pay for a human made product? Shouldn’t it be muchhhh cheaper?

And a finished product should not have advertisements for something else for you to buy. From my friends who pay for Netflix, they’ve been implementing many ads. The whole point of getting Netflix was to NOT have ads, unlike cable. Youtube has ramped up the ads as well. After the pre video ads, skip forward about 20 seconds and BAM another ad. Spotify is basically unusable if you don’t have premium. It’s like 90% ad/10% music. EVEN FUCKING PINTEREST HAS ADS THAT I CANNOT ESCAPE.

Nobody wants Ads vomit at them 24/7 is annoying and tiresome. And businesses know this. Why you think tumblr, YouTube, hell streaming services are offering prices to block ads on top of what you already paying for. The fact EA wants to put ads within their games you buy. Not free mobile games mind you. Just imagine playing new game on Xbox and after opening cutscene you get ad for McDonald’s

It’s lose lose for public. Because if you don’t pay for no ads you get infinite ads. If you do pay for no ads business just bump up prices

I’m so glad ao3 doesn’t have a single ad. I can read y fic in peace without pop up ad or having wait 1 minute of unskipabke video just to read the next chapter

[brelione]

Request:Okay, I’m back again with a JJ x Reader x Rafe hc idea! It’s inspired by a scene from the movie, Best Man Holiday. Let’s say Rafe and JJ witness Reader get into an argument with one of her best friends. How would they react since she’s the peacemaker of her relationship with both boys and how would they comfort her afterwards?Glad to see you’re back with a wonderful request bb

You had been in the living room with your boys, sitting with Rafe and JJ on the couch.You didnt really know what was going on in the movie, too busy on your phone.They were enjoying the movie though so it didnt really matter.

Then Addy called you

She had been your best friend for the past two years and pretty much your only friend outside of the pogues

“Hello?”You answered, having JJ turn down the volume on the tv.You heart dropped into your stomach. “Who the fuck told you that?What the hell are you talking about?”You stood up, pacing back and forth. “Yeah, okay?And?I dont see the fucking problem!”You shouted in the phone, walking into your kitchen. “The problem is youre a fucking whore!If I wouldve known that you had two boyfriends I wouldve dropped you months ago!How much of a fucking slut do you have to be to fuck two guys?Honestly, (Y/N), if you think any guy is interested in you beyond fucking you than youre a whole lot stupider than I thought.”She hung up.Your eyes were watery, tossing your phone onto the table before sitting down, head in your hands.What the hell just happened?

Rafe and JJ had heard the whole thing, pausing the tv and looking at eachother as you yelled.Uh oh.

Once they heard you sigh and the sound of your phone case hitting the table they got up, cautiously making their way into the kitchen.They shared another confused glance, trying to figure out what to do.

“What happened?”Was all JJ could manage to say, only hearing one end of the conversation.You gulped, a few tears escaping your eyes. “She’s an asshole- and someone told her about us.”You squeaked out, voice cracking.Rafe pulled you into a hug, kneeling on the ground so he could hug you properly.They understood how weird your relationship with them could seem to other people, knowing that you werent comfortable with anyone outside of the pogues knowing about it. “She called me a whore.”You were crying, holding onto JJ’s shirt.This alone couldnt get you crying this bad, it was the fact that she had told you that nobody was interested beyond a fuck.That’s exactly what your ex boyfriend had said to you before she started dating him.

“She was a toxic bitch anyways, babe.Shes not worth it.”JJ told you, holding you close to him while Rafe rubbed your sides.

They were trying really hard to help you, thinking about how you’d comfort them if one of their friends had said that to them.You’d probably stroke their hair and rub their backs or kiss them all over.

JJ kissed your neck gently, happy when you started to calm down, sniffling a little still. “Thats not even the worst part!She told me that guys dont actually like me….that they just want to fuck me.I hate her so much.”You sighed, feeling Rafe kiss your forehead. “You know thats not true, love.JJ and I love you so much, fucking doesnt matter.Its fun but thats not why we’re with you.”He kissed you gently.JJ nodded, agreeing before kissing you gently. “We can go on a date tomorrow, how would you feel about that?”He asked, kissing your forehead.

So thats exactly what happened

You were pretty upset the whole day, the boys taking your phone and blocking Addy’s number, snapchat, instagram, tumblr, pinterest, her brother, her second cousin and her mom so there was absolutely no way for her to talk to you.

JJ and Rafe had gone to the store to get some ‘suprises’

They ended up buying $200 worth of shit because you werent there to help with money management and priorities

Hot cheetos, meat, cheese, salads, juice boxes, a bottle of wine, cheeries and sprite,  a new shirt for you to wear

They walked right into hot topic with grocery bags still in their arms, Rafe dressed like a middle aged dad about to go golfing while JJ was dressed like a dolphin that just got back from a fishing trip

“Oh shit-look!Its the Harry Potter house thing!Shes the yellow one, right?”JJ asked, looking at the shirts on the hangers.Rafe bit his lip, thinking about it.  “Yeah, the yellow badger one like Cedric.”They had barely paid attention for the entirety of the Harry Potter movies, only paying attention when you started screaming about Cedric’s face.

They had tiptoed around your house, telling you to go upstairs so you wouldnt see anything.

They made sandwhiches, wrapping them up and playing basket ball with them as they threw them into the basket along with mini bags of hot cheetos, carefully placing the jar of cherries in when they remembered the jar was made of glass.They were all excited, folding the napkins into hearts after watching a youtube tutorial three times.

Rafe had thrown the shirt at you and told you to put it on and not ask questions

Rafe had decided not to drink any wine that night because he would be the one driving and wanted you to feel 100% safe

Kisses, giggles and skinny dipping was pretty much the whole date.

Stabbing the cherries and putting them in your wine glass, topping it off with sprite and a splash of wine

They were proud that they had successfully planned a date without your help

They had gotten your hogwarts house wrong but they remembered the house of the guy that you were in love with and thats what mattered most to them

Making love at the beach at three in the morning, the sounds of crashing waves and soft moans filling your ears

It was safe to say that you pretty much completely forgot about Addy.

I know this was like a whole ass cliche but it was fine to write 

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc  @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67  @poguestyleskye  @sunwardsss @meaganjm @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae  @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @harryswigss  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @prejudic3 @annmariek8 @imagines-07​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall​

[kareofbears]

A really long post about my relationship with persona 5 

On the crisp day of november 29, 2019, i bought persona 5 on sale for six dollars. It was the last one on the shelf and i had to fight a random guy for it, even though i had only ever heard of persona from a game theory video. Played it, finished it in four months, thought it was great, but i promised myself i wouldnt play royal because “alex, you just spent 150 hours on this, are you really going to do it again?” so i was like nah, i wont play it. Thats just a waste of 85 dollars CAD, especially when you compare that to the six dollars i spent initially

And then a quirky little pandemic hit the same month that persona 5 royal dropped. 

So yeah, i bought royal pretty quickly once i realized that university was going to be completely online. Finished it in 250 hours in 28 days; less than a quarter of what it took me for vanilla. 

But the pandemic was not finished in 28 days. 

Basically, just like a whole lot of people during 2020 and 2021, i was really fucking depressed and just Not Good At All. 

Theres two reasons why i stuck with p5 for so long—one was obviously the timing of it all. Being stuck at home and playing a game that is pretty much a second life because of how in depth the world building and characters are was exactly what i needed at the time. It was the best escape i could have ever asked for. Second, its just a really really good game for me. As someone who literally majors in Cognitive Science with a minor in Political Science, yeah, this game could not have been more perfect for me. Its a game that reradicalized me, that retaught me what its like to see anger as a good thing, and especially fucking everything that happened in 2020, it was literally perfect dude. I mean, ryuji, the angriest boy in the world, became my favorite fictional character, period.

Weirdly enough, the game being so flawed probably also helped me stick around in the fandom for so long. Being angry about something was almost as fun as loving something completely. Ranting about something was as fun as making loving posts about my favorite character. Pointing out flaws in the narrative gives me the same rush as praising the music to high heaven. Hating the fandom was as great as finding someone and befriending them on discord. Everything about p5 sucked me in and kept me in, whether or not it intended it. 

Persona 5 is the type of game that is so jam packed with things to talk about that theres no way youll play it and come out of it unscatched. There really is something akin to a ‘post-persona depression’, something that makes you want to keep living in this intricate world with its characters and never-ending playthrough length and its villains and billions of themes that dont make a whole lot of sense. It was easy, so fucking easy to poke fun at it, and i absolutely did. Still do. Will keep doing.

I jumped into fandom head on during that time (that time being 2020). Ive been in many many many fandoms before p5, but i jumped into this one with a fervor in a way that i never had before. I made video edits, learned to gif, lived on pinterest/tumblr/twitter/instagram/pixiv intensely, combing through each and every thing i can find related to persona 5. For months, probably over a year, persona 5 was my saving grace. My lifeline. The call a friend option when you’re in a game show. Id be nothing without it. 

I gave my whole life to it. Every video edit took at least 6-12 hours if not more. Gifs took me a week to learn how to do and im still really bad at it (like. Really bad at it. My laptop keeps crashing cause it can barely handle photoshop lmfao). Dozens of spotify playlists, watched every youtube video i could about it, had made youtube videos about it. I talked everyone’s hear off about it—rip my beta, who knows literally every intricacy about the symbolism of running and a broken leg but not knowing jack shit about yaldabaoth (shes never played/watched p5). I made so many posts, fought so many people, befriended so many people. 

And writing. Fucking hell did i write. In 2020 alone i posted over 100k—posted. Thats not counting the dozens of half written scribbles i have between google docs and Daiso notebooks (one of them being 23k—rip that Hades AU. rip that NSFW one too). I wrote blinding lights for over three months by hand, escapril in one month, one shots consistently. I had more growth as a writer in the span of a year than i had in my whole life and i thrived at it (even though i wasnt, and still not, very good, i still improved rapidly. Even i can admit that).

For awhile, this was good. Great. I was keeping afloat, mentally, and thats all i needed. 

But then my spring semester of 2021 hit. it was by far the worst semester id ever had in my entire life. 

My gpa dropped a lot, and for one the classes i was in i was doing so so horribly that i was at a cool 30% for most of the semester, and another i was at a nice 24% for most of the semester, and as someone who is asian and has asian parents with asian mentalities, it was a huge blow to me. Top that off, my best friend and beta had left for six months to go abroad and i started doing not great things. honestly, that was an All Time Low For My Mental Health. 

I had taken a break from all social media, and had heavily leaned on persona 5 even more than i was. Anytime I wasn't strapped to my textbooks I was staring at my office wall, or longingly looking outside where i wish i was (at this point, canada had almost no access to vaccines), or thinking about p5. Over and over again, even when there was nothing to think about, I thought about p5. I was at a point where i had well and truly milked everything that the p5 fandom had to offer. I felt that i had seen everything, read everything, had formed every opinion i could, and was just grasping at air. It was so wack—i would literally get fucking sick of thinking about it because everything i was thinking of, i had already thought about hundreds of times before.  

I wanted to stay in p5, i was desperate to stay in p5, because i would much rather think about something obsessively and religiously to the point where i was nauseous than think about...life. It was a combination of hating my real life and hating my “alternate reality” that is persona 5. 

Strikers came out the same day i had failed all my midterms, but i didnt know it at the time. Actually, that was a really good two weeks—i didnt know i failed my midterms since marks werent out yet, and i got two weeks of NEW persona content. Woohoo! Score for Alex four months ago. She was so happy for a while. 

Fast forward a bit. April of 2021? Absolute hell. I had completely stopped participating in p5 at this point to make room for classes, which basically took away the only thing that even remotely made me happy. Not great, besties. 

But hey, some good news: i passed all of my classes! I literally cried for half an hour in public and called my mom immediately. She cried too. 

May was good, actually. I got my first vaccine, so I could see my friends again. I worked more, got more financially stable after taking so much time off for school. Restrictions were a little more loose, so i went out more. My beta was coming home soon. Got some sunlight. It got better, but you know, depression sticks like glue and refuses to let go. But it got better. I dabbled a little into p5 again, but it was half hearted. I still loved the game, but i didnt know what coming back to the fandom would do for me. It felt like a chore to do, and i was mad at myself, almost. Why am i not enjoying p5 anymore? I love p5. 

But p5...wasnt just p5 to me anymore. Its a symbol. It was...everything, i guess. Its a game with so much baggage to me personally. It went from a game that gave me the will to live and turned into something i needed to let go in order to live. I realized, really, really sadly and really, really painfully, that i didnt need p5 anymore. And that hurt. I always knew it would hurt when id eventually leave p5 behind. 

So i processed this in the only way i knew how—writing. I said that i would write something that represents everything i was feeling, every ounce of depression and anguish and loneliness and self hatred, and id put it in one, neat little story that also works as a goodbye to my favorite game. I gave myself a time frame: one month. July 3rd. Ryuji’s birthday. 

And i did it. Its the longest fic id ever written, my magnum opus, my starry night. The rawest piece of me, in one big google doc. I had given this everything i had, because it is everything i had. 

I felt like fucking hamilton bro. I had never written so fast, and felt so free doing it. I wrote things i had always been too scared to write—a yusuke and futaba scene (yusuke in general i was terrified of writing cause i felt i could never get him right), haru being cool, ann being a little more selfish, ryuji hating himself so so so much. Emotional kissing scenes, more argument scenes, more battle sequences, a poetic ferris wheel love scene, a mystery box type of narrative, an unreliable narrative. Jokes that i thought were funny but i was worried other people might not think it was funny. Cool scene transitions, so many em dashes, so many semi colons. Ten million metaphors. 

This was it. This was going to be my goodbye to these characters who had kept my company during the worst stage of my life (thus far). It didnt matter what sort of reception i got for this fic—whether it got a thousand comments or one. A million kudos or none. It literally doesn't matter. Because this wasnt for anyone but me, processing my own problems, and the characters i wrote about. It was my swan song. It was my tribute to these kids, but they felt more than that. It was saying goodbye to, and this may sound really sad, but it was like saying goodbye to real friends that had saved my life.

And im not saying i dont love p5 anymore, no fucking way. It will always be my favorite game, because of everything it means to me. Ill probably be buried and have p5v/r in my coffin with me as i'm lowered in. but theres nothing more for me here. I cant give anyone anything anymore, whether if its for the hypothetical you or myself. I feel like the end of the lorax, where the forest is all gone and its just me, looking at an empty field of stumps and dead grass. 

Hell, this doesnt even mean that im completely done with p5. I mean, when it comes to the pc and the switch or whatever else atlus is planning on doing, im sure there’ll be a mini fandom boom which will be cool. But i want to get to the point where p6 news will drop eventually and ill think “wow! Fantastic!” instead of being relieved at finding another thing to cling to. I want to enjoy it like a normie for once. 

I'm actually enjoying lots of different content now, which i had been too scared to do before in fear of “losing my love of persona” (wow, that sounds crazy looking back on it, but i was super serious about this). Im in the middle of playing assassins creed odyssey and im going to play Nier automata next. Im almost done watching violet evergarden (ive cried at least five times in ten episodes, its so good). I finished rewatching JJK with my beta whos finally home. I discovered lots of new artists and new songs, and i'm going to a lake trip with my best friends next week, and a trip with my family in two weeks. Im going on hangouts with my coworkers, which had been impossible to do in the past because i was so scared of the idea of being with new people. And i took a break from school for the summer, because thats the healthy thing to do.

I'm doing a lot better, i promise. 

I dont know what this post is supposed to be. Telling you my mental health? No, not really. Maybe its because i wanted to give you guys a heads up that im peeling away from p5? Eh, i guess, but not that either. This isnt a cry for help, or written so that someone out there would pity me or worse, made so that this would make you want to read my fic. God fucking forbid you think i made this so i could get a handful more kudos on ao3 asoiajdasasidjao

I think this post is more of...a diary entry for my future self, and anyone who bothers reading it can go ahead and read it if theyd like. Maybe you felt the same as me at some point, and take solace in the fact that someone out there feels the same about a random jrpg?

If you actually read this, that probably means that youre probably one of the people who made being in this wasteland of a fandom really fun and worth it.  So thank you, friend. We’re probably friends by now, right? At least a buddy. Maybe a coworker? Basically, thank you, whoever ‘you’ is. Thank you for reading, thank you for being there (even if you never interacted! I still thank you!), thank you for....existing in the same space as me. 

I hope you find comfort in your life, and are healthy. I hope you get some sun. i hope you’re doing well.