#Younghyun angst

[lxvemaze]

彡why can't i hate you?

pairing' young k x reader

genre' angst

warnings' good relationship gone bad, reminiscing about past relationship, reader is still in love with younghyun, flashbacks written in italics, based off of "i loved you" by day6

wc' 1.6k

a/n' i listened to "i loved you" at least forty times back-to-back yesterday, so i decided to write a fic about my bias based on the lyrics 🙏 is anyone gonna read this? ofc not. am i still gonna post it? yes ofc

You hated him. God, you hated him. If your mother had heard you say that, she would’ve scoffed and told you, “Hate is a strong word.” But you thought it wasn’t strong enough. Scrolling through the Google drive he had sent you on your last anniversary that was filled with all the old pictures and videos he'd taken of the two of you on his stupid vintage film camera, you could only think of all the things about him that you hated. You hated his stupid hair that you used to run your fingers through at night, his pointy nose that you used to kiss in the mornings before you left for work, his calloused hands that used to hold you with such warmth, his pretty lips that once told you that he couldn’t imagine living without you, that he would love you till the day he died. The same lips that told you he didn’t love you anymore.

“I just…can’t do this anymore.”

You stood still in the kitchen of your apartment, your hands frozen as they still held the potato you were peeling as you prepared dinner for yourself and your boyfriend of six years. It was Friday night, which meant that Younghyun had come over for dinner, as he had nearly every Friday for the past six years- barring the times he’s been on tour. When he’d arrived at your apartment, you could tell that something was off. You’d just assumed that he’d had a bad day, or was just tired. You never would have thought that he’d be telling you this. Not after you’d discussed engagement rings just last week.

“What are you trying to say? You’re just breaking up with me? Did I do something? Did I say something?”

He shook his head with his face in his hands as you rambled on, questioning what could’ve possibly made him say these things to you. He looked up at you, both of you looked a wreck, tears in your eyes and noses running.

“It’s not that. You…You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why? What happened? Why now?”He took a deep breath as he took in your disheveled state. The tears from your face had fallen onto your pretty powder blue sweater, and he fought the urge to smile at the thought that even after all the years you’d been together, all the fights you’d had, all the times you’d seen each other at your worst, you still tried to look pretty for him. But as sweet as that thought was, it still couldn’t change how he felt.

“I don’t know. I just…I don’t know how else to say it. But I just…” He took another breath to steady his shaking voice, “I just…Don’t love you anymore.”

You hated how he never gave you a reason. Even after crying and begging, he couldn’t tell you. And maybe you said some things that you shouldn’t have, maybe telling him to leave, that you never wanted to see him again was going too far. And maybe it was a lie.

After he left, you found that he’d blocked your number, your socials, everything. Just like that, he erased you from his life. You resented him for that. After he left, you went numb for a few weeks. It was like your whole world had ended, like everything had lost all its meaning. Your mom came by almost every day to check on you, and of course to tell you that she never really liked Younghyun, that she just wanted you to be happy, and you’d be better off without him anyway. You hated how she talked about him.

After a while, you decided to pick yourself up and go about life as if he never existed. You threw out all the things he’d left at your apartment over the years, including the plant he’d given you as a housewarming gift when you first moved in. You tried to forget him, forget the time you spent with him, the trips you went on, everything. It was hard when your coworkers and friends would ask about him, when your cousin asked if you were bringing him to the upcoming family reunion, when the little old lady that lived in the apartment next to yours knocked on your door to ask if he could carry her new coffee table up to her apartment.

You were doing well at forgetting his existence. It had been almost three months, and your apartment had been scrubbed clean of any trace of him, all his photos had been deleted from your camera roll. But while you were sitting on your computer in your home office, scrolling through your Google drive to try and find an old work project that you needed to reference in a new report, you came across his last anniversary present to you. You couldn’t stop yourself before you clicked on it. Looking through all the old photos and videos of the past six years, you felt nothing but resentment as you saw his smiling face in the thumbnails.

You must have been scrolling for at least half an hour before you stopped at a certain video, the thumbnail bringing up a particularly harsh memory. You hesitantly clicked on the video, and the sound of your own laughter flooded from your speakers.

He’d really outdone himself this time. When he’d asked you a month ago what the number one place to go on your bucket list was, you immediately told him “Vienna”. You’d wanted to go ever since you were a little kid and you’d heard the BIlly Joel song of the same name coming from your dad’s record player. Little did you know that he’d take you there as a surprise for your fourth anniversary.

You giggled in glee as you looked out across the beautiful river that you’d always longed to see. You turned to see Younghyun pointing his camera at you, grinning as he observed your reaction. 

“Are you filming me?”

“How could I not?” He laughed as you playfully swatted at the camera, pulling the neck of your sweater over your face so he couldn’t film it. “You’re just so beautiful, I can’t help it.”

You stilled and smiled as he reached one hand out to grab your own and drag it away from your face, the neck of your sweater falling back into place at your collarbone. He pressed your knuckles to his lips before turning the camera so the both of you were in the frame. You wrapped your arms around each other, his arm that was not holding the camera coming to rest across your shoulders. You reached one hand up to grab his hand that rested on your shoulder, while your other hand went to the back of his neck, your fingers lazily playing with the soft brown hair that you loved so much.

The two of you smiled at the camera for a moment, listening to the river lazily flowing as the sun set behind you and the crisp autumn air blew through your hair. Younghyun turned to look at you, his eyes scanning over your features, smiling lazily as you turned to meet his gaze. 

“What?”

“Nothin’. I just love you.”

You grinned as you bounced on your tippy toes to leave a quick gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “Really?”

He shifted his arm that rested across your shoulders downwards so it wrapped around your waist, his hand playing with a loose string at the bottom of your sweater. “Yeah…You know, I can’t imagine living without you.”

You blushed and buried your face into his shoulder, his hand tightening around your waist. “Younghyun, you can’t just say things like that.”

He grinned and pressed his lips to the top of your head, “It’s true, though. I’m gonna love you till the day I die.”

You pulled away briefly to look up at his face, which was smiling warmly down at you, his eyes filled with nothing but fondness as they met your own. You narrowed your eyes at him, looking up at the camera and back to him.

“...You’re not about to propose to me are you?”

He let out a laugh before bringing you in closer, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before burying his face into your hair. “No, not yet. It’s coming, though.”

You looked up at him again, the look of love on his face told you that he was telling the truth. “I’ll be waiting.”

You didn’t feel the tears that had been cascading down your cheeks until the video had ended. You hated him. You resented him. You never wanted to see him again. So why were you crying? Was it because you wasted six years of your life? Was it because you felt lied to? Why were you wasting your time crying over a man that didn’t love you? Over a relationship that was never meant to be? Why did it hurt so much?

You hated him. You hated him. You hated him.

But as your tears started falling harder and soft sobs escaped your mouth, you knew the truth. You didn’t hate him. You never hated him. You loved him. You knew deep in your heart, that you really did love him. You loved him so badly, it made you hate him all that much more. No matter how many times you tried to erase him from your memory, or how many times you tried to forget the love that he gave, or the time you spent with him, you knew you never could. Because you loved him. And deep down, you always would.

[dearly-somber]

All Alone | k.yh | day6

-> pairing. badboy!younghyun x unpopular kid!reader (f)

-> genre. high school!au, angst, unrequited love, pining, happy ending

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 1729

-> warnings. none

-> a/n. This was honestly kind of all over the place but it’s near to my heart

-> collection. songfic

-> started. ???

-> fin. Oct. 18th, 2020 @ 00:41

-> edited. Thurs., Oct. 25th, 2022, 21:40

You sat with your headphones covering your ears, listening to music and scrolling through Instagram.

You massaged your temple while glaring at the girls hovering around Yoon Dowoon, one of the most popular guys in your class. You continued glaring at them, noticing how Younghyun, one of the other popular ('bad boy') guys in not only your class but your entire school, glared at those same girls.

Before you could get up to confront the Dowoon Fanclub, Younghyun beat you to it:

"Would you people shut up?" One of the girls raised her hand as if she were going to hit him. He shook his head in disbelief, scoffing as Dowoon pushed up from the chair and left the class, his Fanclub not far behind. You sighed, Sungjin and Wonpil who were sitting in front of you turning around in their chairs to look at you.

"What's up with you?" Wonpil asked you, propping his chin on his forearm. You look him over before you took off your headphones.

"What's it to you?" Sungjin laughed, Wonpil elbowing him playfully. You couldn't help but smile at them. They were kinda cute, what could you say?

When the two guys went quiet and you saw Sungjin staring at Eunhi, Jaehyung's childhood best friend. It clicked immediately.

He liked her.

The thought alone made your heart ache painfully. And don't get it wrong, it wasn't because you liked Sungjin. It was just because you knew what he was going through. Biting the inside of your cheek your gaze found its way to Younghyun. Younghyun, who was on his phone and had such a nice side profile and— you shook your head. Get out of your head.

"Is there something on my face?"

Your eyes widened as you heard the familiar voice of Kang Younghyun. You had to swallow nervously, feeling everyone's eyes trained on your face. You were known as the quiet-but-not-to-be-messed-with kid in the class. Most people steered clear of you since you were pretty intimidating with hard stares and looks of dislike. The only people anyone knew you talked to regularly was Wonpil and Sungjin, and on occasion class-clown Jaehyung.

"You just gonna ignore me, then?"

Younghyun turned his phone face-down on his desk. You kept quiet, still staring at him like a kid with their hand stuck in a cookie jar. From out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eunhi get up from her chair. She stood up in front of you, obscuring your figure from Younghyun's fox-like eyes.

"Cut it out, Younghyun." She warned him. You tried to say something but your voice just refused to work. You hated this situation. You knew that Eunhi liked Younghyun. And from what you had noticed recently, Younghyun liked her back. This was why your and Sungjin's situation was so relatable. You both could sympathize for each other.

"Isn't it obvious?" Your head snapped to the side, gaze landing on Dowoon.

"What is?" Younghyun asked him, standing up.

"Don't you dare, Yoon Dowoon." You warned, suddenly having regained your voice. Dowoon smirked, taking a daring step forward. He made eye contact with Younghyun, hands in his pocket.

"She—" before he even had a chance to utter the words, you tackled him down, your hand covering his mouth as you straddled him. You had a hand around his throat, having put it there subconsciously.

"Wow, Y/N. Shouldn't you get a room before showing off your bedroom antics?" Kim Seokjin, the pretty boy of the school said with a smirk. Going red in the face, you sprung up. Dowoon looked shocked, a pink hue tinting his ears as he stared at you open mouthed. You hadn't even realized how Younghyun was staring at you, Wonpil and Sungjin completely speechless.

"Do me next!" Jeon Jungkook called, snickering with his group of friends. Grabbing a book from Sungjin's table you chucked it at Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook ducked, looking at you wide eyed. You turned to Dowoon, pointing at him threateningly.

"Keep your mouth shut or I’ll tell your mom you’re sleeping around."

The class hollered at your comment, Dowoon going pink in the face.

You grabbed your things, rushing out of the room. You bit down on your lip, pushing past Younghyun gently and jogging out. If it wasn't already obvious, that was sure to sell you out. Sungjin glared at Dowoon, pushing past Eunhi and Younghyun to go after you. Younghyun looked over everyone in utter confusion. "What the hell just happened?" He asked as Eunhi turned to look after Sungjin. Did he suddenly like Y/N? Hadn't he confessed to her on the day when she helped Younghyun get away from his dick of a boss? Biting her lip, Eunhi went to sit back next to Jaehyung.

———

You were sitting in the park with Sungjin. It was just past 7pm, and the night breeze was soothing.

"He makes my heart ache..." You sniffled, leaning against his shoulder. Sungjin bit his lower lip. Once again, they were in the same situation.

"I'm so sick and tired of loving him when I know he doesn't love me back..." You cried. Sungjin felt so hopeless. He slowly shifted so that your face was pressed into his shoulder, his shirt slowly getting wet with tears.

Still crying into his shirt, you choked out what you were feeling, not at all aware of Younghyun who was hiding behind a tree in his work clothes:

"I'm alone..." You wailed, clutching at Sungjin's shirt as if it were your lifeline. Younghyun turned to look at you and his heart broke. Slowly. It broke agonizingly slow. "Only the cold night air is by my side." You continued, pressing yourself into Sungjin.

"You have me, Y/N. You have me..." Sungjin soothed, patting your back gently. You cried, your breathing ragged as you held onto Sungjin. Younghyun left soon after that, heading into the convenience store where he was working. When he got there he layed on the counter, phone in hand as he tried his best not to think about you and how you were crying now, and all because of him. He was so dense. How hadn't he realized how Y/N, one of the coldest people he had ever met was so much gentler towards him?—

"Younghyun!" He snapped out of his reverie, looking up to make eye contact with Eunhi.

"Eunhi, hey!" He said with a smile, though he was sure it didn't reach his eyes.

"When do you finish? I saw the park near here is empty. It would be great for some stargazing!"

"Wait, it's empty? Sungjin and Y/N weren't there?" Eunhi looked nervous as she nodded.

"Yeah. I went to say 'hi' but Y/N suddenly got up and left. And she took Sungjin with her before I could even say 'hello'. She looked upset..." Eunhi muttered, trailing off as she realized that Younghyun wasn't listening anymore.

"I don't think I can go tonight. Some other time, maybe?" He asked, distracted with whatever he was thinking about.

"Uh, yeah.. Sure."

When Younghyun left that night, he finally realized something... He screwed up big time.

———

You entered the classroom that morning, hand in hand with Sungjin and a tired smile on your face. When you sat down the class hollered, Wonpil looking at the two of you with a smile.

"What'd I miss?" He asked. You shook your head, letting go of Sungjin's hand reluctantly.

"I think I've finally gotten over him." You said quietly. Sungjin smiled at you and you smiled back. Deep down you knew you weren't over him. Sungjin knew that too. But you two could work through the pain together. You yelped as you were dragged out of the room by your wrist. You turned around to confront them but your voice died in your throat at the sight of Younghyun so up close and personal. Your heart was beating in the back of your throat. His hands were soft against your skin and—

"I need to talk to you." He said, his voice sending shivers down your spine. As he continued pulling you along, he was stopped when Sungjin grabbed his arm tightly.

"What do you think you're doing?" He said.

The tension was thick enough to suffocate you. Younghyun glared at Sungjin, quite a bit taller than him. He stepped closer. "Get your hands off of me." He snarled. You gently took Sungjin's hand from Younghyun's arm, looking at him.

"He's—" You cleared your throat, willing your voice to go higher than a whisper.

"We're just going to talk." You assured him gently. Younghyun felt the jealously welling in his chest with how gentle you were with Sungjin. Sungjin let him go slowly, glaring at him warningly. Younghyun stared at him as he took you away.

Standing outside, you leaned against the wall and watched him nervously. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stared you down, hands in his pockets.

"Is there something on my face?" You quoted him, a nervous smile on your face as he chuckled.

"Cute..." He muttered. Jaw dropping, you looked at him in complete shock.

"Did you just...?"

"Uh. Listen, Y/N. I uh.. saw you, last night. With Sungjin."

You went silent immediately. That means he...

"You saw me break down didn't you..." You looked down. He pitied you. You're never meeting him like this again.

"Pity. I have to go." You said, voice breaking near the end. Before you could though, Younghyun put his hands on either side of you, efficienctly confining you. Your heart was beating so quickly you were sure that you would faint soon.

"It's not that, Y/N. I just... I realized that instead of trying to avoid my feelings for you and leading Eunhi on—"

"You.. You what?" You asked completely blanking out.

"I like you, Y/N. I just couldn't find the confidence to tell you—" before he could finish you cupped his cheeks, effectively shutting him up.

With no afterthought, you brought him closer, standing on your toes and bringing your lips together. Younghyun was shocked for a moment, but his hand quickly moved to your waist, pulling you closer. After a moment or two more you pulled back and hugged him.

"Thank you for loving me back..." You whispered. Younghyun smiled, hugging you back tightly.

"Always."

[thotforcsy]

how it all ends

(♡) fandom: day6 (♡) pairing: wonpil/younghyun (♡) rating: not rated (♡) 11763 words (♡) complete (1/1)

When Wonpil is twelve years old, a witch tells him he's going to die. When he's eighteen, he meets Kang Younghyun for the first time. The two events have more to do with each other than one might think.

This is how.

link

cw: blood and violence, death

[aprilcrush]

fallin’ flower

tw : major character death, blood, vomit, angst, sorrow, hanahaki disease, unrequited love.

ibunya sering kali mengatakan kalau egi bermimpi terlalu besar di dunia yang kecil.

meski begitu, ia seharusnya jadi yang paling tahu bagaimana caranya untuk tak jatuh untuk hal penuh tipu daya seperti cinta karena hal-hal gila tetap dapat terjadi di dunia kecil yang ditinggalinya.

seperti bagaimana ia seharusnya mempersingkat kunjungan ke judy’s florist alih-alih membuang waktu untuk mengenal ian si pegawai baru — atau bagaimana ia seharusnya melupakan kalau daffodil merupakan bunga kesukaan laki-laki itu (egi bisa tahu hanya dengan melihat dari pin bunga di seragamnya, tradisi di judy’s florist.)

karena dari sekian banyak hal gila yang bisa dilakukan. di dalam kepalanya, egi justru memilih untuk 1) percaya dirinya tinggal di dunia yang lebih magis daripada pixie hollow: di mana langitnya serupa permen kapas, matahari baru terbit pukul sepuluh dan ia tinggal di rumah pohon bersama para peri; 2) ia hidup untuk menyukai bunga — dan tinggal di sana sambil merawat mereka adalah tugas utamanya.

kelopak bunga yang hidup selalu membuat hatinya senang. tetapi, sekarang mereka justru terus berjatuhan dari mulutnya. bentuknya kelopaknya mirip seperti pin bunga milik ian. dan warnanya terlihat berseri seperti saat cahaya mentari menari di atas kulit laki-laki itu.

egi terbatuk dan muntah.

satu.

dua.

tiga.

empat.

dua belas.

ia berhenti makan maupun pergi ke luar. ia hanya terus batuk dan muntah. dan tak ada lagi agenda mampir ke judy’s florist sepulang kerja.

dua puluh dua.

dua puluh tiga.

lantainya kini dipenuhi oleh bunga daffodil yang berserakan, seakan dunia penuh bunga yang ada di kepalanya menjadi nyata.

dua puluh empat.

dua puluh lima.

tiga puluh sembilan.

tetapi dadanya terasa sesak, dan cairan merah pekat mulai ikut menodainya.

empat puluh.

egi merasa kesepian dan mulai menangis, tetapi lagi-lagi ia terbatuk dan memuntahkan bunga lainnya.

lima puluh dua.

bahkan dalam mimpinya, bunga-bunga itu datang untung memangsanya. tetapi sekarang sulit untuk mengatakan apa warna asli bunga yang terus ia muntahkan. yang ia ingat hanya sosok terakhir ian yang dilihatnya di toko bunga.

enam puluh empat.

delapan puluh delapan.

rasa pahit sekaligus manis tertinggal dan menyekat tenggorokkannya. sementara akar-akar kecil terus meregang dan mengoyak paru-parunya. membuatnya terengah-engah, kehabisan napas. menenggelamkannya, sedangkan egi tak tahu caranya berenang.

sembulan puluh tiga — dan egi mulai kehilangan hitungannya.

padahal ia pikir akan punya waktu lebih untuk mengumpulkan semua kepingan kelopaknya untuk diberikan pada ian — jadi setidaknya ada sedikit kepingan dirinya untuk laki-laki itu simpan. tapi kelopak terakhir terlanjur jatuh ke lantai. begitu tragis. dan egi tak dapat merasakan apapun lagi setelahnya. mungkin karena itulah yang seharusnya dirasakan oleh orang yang menyedihkan sepertinya. karena ia selalu tahu bahwa ibunya benar: ia bermimpi terlalu besar di dunia yang kecil, dan dicintai adalah salah satunya.

sekarang ia justru mati tercekik oleh hal yang dipujanya.

she was alone, dead, suffocated, unloved and surrounded by blood and flowers—but not just any flower, it's his favorite one.

[just-some-random-blogger]

kpop masterlist

🍓 = fluff themes

❄️ = angst themes

🚧 = smut themes

🤸‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is

🚀 = crack fic themes

🎩 = dark and/or violent themes

🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc

🍳 = slow burn

🦕 = personal favorite

back to main masterlist

A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️🏩🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom  

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU) 

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4 

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)  

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3 

[alice3876]

Fic recommendations

all fluff and comfort because my heart can't deal with angst

this is really self-indulgent. just a list of fics for when I'm feeling in a particularly soft and vulnerable mood

Last update: Thursday, January 4th, 2024

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ enhypen━━━━

Yang Jungwon

Chasin' Your Pretty Thoughts ♡ written by @jaeminvore

Love Grows (Where Jungwon Goes) ♡ written by @soobnny

Nice to meet you, boyfriend ♡ written by @delcakoo

Wishlist ♡ written by @soobnny

Jay Park

Bejeweled ♡ written by @seattlesolace

Have you seen this wizard? ♡ written by @seattlesolace

Jake Sim

Your Name ♡ written by @soobnny

Park Sunghoon

Little Lucky Charm ♡ written by @jaeminvore

Kim Sunoo

It doesn't really matter to me (I just need you) ♡ written by @jaeminvore

The Damsel In Distress Initiative ♡ written by @jaeminvore

Nishimura Riki

After Hours ♡ written by @soobnny

Always Japan ♡ written by @soobnny

Do you have to? ♡ written by @bearseulgs

ENHYPEN

Sharing a bed ♡ written by @delcakoo

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ le sserafim ━━━━

Huh Yunjin

Valentine ♡ written by @shuhwaa

Nakamura Kazuha

Love-shaped Lips ♡ written by @shuhwaa

Hong Eunchae

Nap ♡ written by @shuhwaa

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ day6 ━━━━

Kang Younghyun Brian

A fan having an emotional meltdown ♡ written by @yeongfil

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ stray kids ━━━━

Lee Minho

New Year's Day ♡ written by @soobnny

Seo Changbin

The girl with the pretty smile ♡ written by @scoupsworld

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ seventeen ━━━━

Wen Junhui

Charcoal-stained hands ♡ written by @rubyreduji

Jeon Wonwoo

Screw finals, let's cuddle ♡ written by @kwanisms

Hansol Vernon Chwe

Say you love me (I love you) ♡ written by @viastro

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ the wizarding world ━━━━

━━ slytherin boys ━━❁━━━━━

Draco Malfoy

Brooding Baby ♡ written by @dmslvt

A Bubbly Companion ♡ written by @blue-sadie

Love Letters ♡ written by @dreamingonfilm

Sea Salt Candles ♡ written by @dreamingonfilm

You have a beautiful smile ♡ written by @destourtereaux

Mattheo Riddle

Softer Side (pt.1 of 3) ♡ written by @suugarbabe

Tom Riddle

Hufflepuff reader headcannons ♡ written by @ slytherinslut0

━━ main timeline characters ━━❁━━━━━

Fred Weasley

Amortentia ♡ written by @iiwontgiveuponmilkk

Poor Mrs Norris ♡ written by @characters

George Weasley

Very adorable idiots ♡ written by @tacobacoyeet

Cedric Diggory

Let Everyone Know ♡ written by @englishmensbitch16

━━ marauders ━━❁━━━━━

Regulus Arcturus Black

untitled (little comfort fic) ♡ written by @justtwotired

Calling For You ♡ written by @reysdriver

Various Characters

Love Language ♡ written by @urwhorecrux

We about to kiss right now? ♡ written by @ohthewh0rror

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ once upon a broken heart ━━━━

Jacks of The Hollow

The Hollow ♡ written by @lost-in-a-daydream20

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━ actors ━━━━

Timothée Chalamet

Books, pillow talks and an attention-craving boy ♡ written by @babyflorencee

[smileyyoungchan]

Older - K.Y.H.

Young K x reader

Song: Older - 5 Seconds of Summer feat. Sierra Deaton

Genre: Angst? With some fluff in the end

Warning: none I guess, but let me know if I’ve missed something

Note: I love this man so much it physically hurts!! Help!!

I couldn’t sleep. Again.

I missed some arms holding me during the night. I missed his arms.

We decided to take a break, and I couldn’t even remember why, I just know that I missed him to death, but my stupid pride wouldn’t let me call him.

I missed waking up every single morning and seizing his silly face beside me; I missed holding his hand, that was too big compared to mine; I missed creating some imaginary constellations with the moles in his face, tracing the lines with my fingers, and him melting into the touch; I missed him walking around the house and starting to sing some random songs; I missed him.

Maybe staying in bed and continue to think wasn’t good enough. I grabbed my phone and walked to the living room, where I turned on the tv and watched some random things. Didn’t even bothered to check the name of the program, I wasn’t really interested anyway.

It was 3am, and in four hours I had to wake up. That’s cool.

The bell rang and destroyed the calm night.

Who the hell came at my house at 3am?

With a mix of worry and fear I walked to the door, expecting nothing but the worst.

I opened the door and in front of me the only man I’ve ever loved in my entire life, was waiting with a hint of agitation in his face.

“YoungHyun” I whispered, catching his attention.

“Hey - he started- I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay”

Why talking to him now kinda seemed off?

I wanted my YoungHyun back. The annoying boy who constantly teased me for everything, but also encouraged me to do all the things I was scared of; the boy who stole some food from my plate, cause he knew that would have made me mad; the boy I love.

“I’m okay” I simply said.

His hand was placed on the side of the door, and the other one was lazily laying o his side.

He was tired, I could have tell that.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

I needed to know he was doing okay, even if it was a lie, I needed him to say those words.

“Yeah, I guess” he chuckled.

It was a sad chuckle, not the cute one he always made.

“Well, then… see you around” he said after some moments of silence we spent looking into each others eyes.

I had a teacher, once, who tried to be funny and said to one my classmates, who didn’t knew the answer to a question he just made “if we keep staring at each other we will fall in love”, I literally hated that teacher, but every time I locked eyes with YoungHyun I thought that, maybe, he was right, cause every time I looked at him I was dragged, once again, in the whole of love for him.

“See ya”

‘Please don’t go’ my mind was screaming.

But he was walking down the stairs, and I couldn’t help but look at him.

When he turned, following the stairs, and he faced me once again, he gave me a smile. God, I loved him so much.

I smiled back and once he disappeared I closed the door.

Great.

If my night was already sleepless now everything will be definitely worse.

Maybe some tea would have helped me calm my nerves.

I was about to walk to the kitchen when a serie of soft knocks from my door catch my attention.

It was him again.

“Sorry” he said as soon as I opened the door.

“Sorry? For what?”

‘I love you! You don’t have to be sorry for nothing!’ My mind wanted to scream to him.

“For what I’m going to saying, but I really need to take this out of my chest- he faced me and his eyes were kinda teary, and all I wanted to do was to hug him- Listen, I can’t continue like this. I need you, i seriously do. The boys all told me I don’t look the same, I can’t even sleep properly anymore. Even eating now kinda makes me sick, and you know how much I love to eat. Music is the only thing that makes me alive right now, but it’s just cause through my lyrics I can feel you again. You're my life, why can't I be yours?” With those final words he completely destroyed me.

Tears stared to run down my face, silently, and I knew it, but decided to ignore them. He was crying too, but when he noticed that I started as well, first, he dried some of my tears, using his thumb.

“that’s the problem, K - he smiled when I used his surname I always gave him - you are my life. I can’t even do anything without being reminded of you. I miss you so much and I can see that we have some things in common here, cause I can’t sleep either”

He reclutantly moved his hand to caress my face, and I didn’t tried to hold back.

“I’ve missed you to death” he whispered, coming closer.

Our eyes met and, as Pete Wentz once said, ‘totally back in love’.

“Can you, please, forgive me? I can’t do this without you anymore” he said, again, in a low tone.

I wasn’t able to form some words with a meaning, so I just nodded countless times.

“Please say it, I need to hear it”

“Yes, K, I forgive you”

He smiled and his face came closer to mine.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was a soft caress.

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Maybe?”

I couldn’t resist but laugh at his expression, cause he was just too cute.

“Of course you can”

He connected our lips and I could feel him smile.

“Now I have a request- I said, as soon as our lips parted - stay the night?” I held his hand, preventing him to go away.

He nodded and followed me inside the apartment we used to share.

I turned off the tv and we both walked to the bedroom.

“I missed this place” he said, laying flat on his back on the bed.

“This place missed you too” I sat beside him, just staring at his perfect face.

He noticed me staring and moved his hand to touch me, and let our hands interlock.

“I love you” he whispered.

“I love you too, K”

He smiled.

I lay down next to him, facing him for a brief moment.

When we both decided to sleep I turned around and turned off the light, making myself comfortable.

YoungHyun, behind me, shuffled and came closer to me, placing his arm on my waist.

He placed a couple of kisses on the back of my neck, tickling me.

His hand was caressing my waist, and then the little bastard put his hand - his cold freezing hand- directly on my skin, moving my t-shirt.

“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hand?”

“But I’m cold” he says in the babies tone ever.

“You’re lucky I love you” I joked, and he laughed.

How much I’ve missed all of this.

[flurrys-creativity]

Fixer upper

Pairing: Kang Younghyun (Day6) x GN!Reader; Genre: Roommate AU, enemies to lovers, a little angst, romance, fluff; Rating: sfw, pg-15; Warnings: a broken cup, yelling and a fight, clumsy reader, blood, crying and kisses; Wordcount: 1.379

Summary: Younghyun had enough of your clumsy ass. Not that he had something against you being clumsy. But you just leaving your mess behind for him to stumble over drove him up the walls. It was time to confront you.

A/N: This is another written deal for @daemour ! Actually kinda the first deal we made... and yet it’s the third I finished writing.. or is it the third? I don’t know.

Younghyun stood in front of the sink, staring down at the broken cup in it. He sighed deeply and placed his hands on the counter, leaning against it as his head hung low. By now Younghyun had lost count of how many broken things he had found in the shared apartment over the time he lived with you.

“Y/N!” His voice boomed through the apartment. He heard a dull thud and closed his eyes, gritting in annoyance. How could one person be that clumsy?

Startled, you rushed into the kitchen. Your eyes frantically darted around the small room until they landed on Younghyun’s form. “What’s wrong?”

Younghyun turned around and looked at you, a grin playing over his lips when he saw your dishevelled appearance before he resumed the pointed stare. He schooled his expression again, ignoring the flutter in his stomach from your wide eyes. How could you look this adorable when you were such a mess?

Your eyes scanned his face, worried something bad happened while you still waited for his answer.

Younghyun simply pointed at the sink and your eyes followed the movement, noticing the broken cup you had left there.

“Are you hurt?” You quickly rushed over to him and grabbed his hands, turning them around and tracing his palms with your finger. “I noticed it was broken in the cupboard and put it in the sink so neither of us would use it by accident and get hurt.

Younghyun stared at you in disbelief. “Why didn’t you throw it out in the first place?” He asked, tone exasperated. He pulled his hands out of yours and stepped away, his heart pounding within his chest.

Your shoulders slumped down, face slightly falling before you returned to a neutral expression again. “It’s your favourite cup”, you murmured and looked down at the cup. “I didn’t want to throw it away and I knew simply taking it would make you mad.”

“I’m mad because I constantly find broken things around the apartment!” Younghyun raised his voice, internally seeing how the thread of his patience snapped.

You grabbed the broken parts within the sink and held them in your hands, looking down at the pieces. “I’m not doing it on purpose. Also I didn’t break your cup this time.”

“This time! Y/N, I swear to god”, Younghyun didn’t finish the sentence, instead he rubbed his face with his hands, feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes and you could feel your lower lip trembling. Without another word you turned around and stormed out of the kitchen, still holding the broken pieces in your hands.

“Where are you going now?!” Younghyun called after you even though he didn’t expect an answer. His heart twisted painfully, knowing his outburst had hurt you. He never meant to hurt you. With a deep sigh he sat down at the counter and buried his face in his hands. He shouldn’t have yelled, shouldn’t have blamed you for something you didn’t do on purpose.

After a while, Younghyun pushed himself up and trotted to your bedroom. He raised his hand and hesitated, hearing quiet sniffling from inside your room. Younghyun winced but decided to knock on the wooden surface nonetheless, waiting for your response.

All of a sudden it became eerily quiet behind the door, worrying Younghyun even more about the severity of the damage his outburst had done. He knocked again, softly calling out to you. 

The only response he received was the clicking of the lock, making him think you actually locked him out of your room. His hand trembled violently when he moved it to the doorknob, slowly twisting and opening it.

Younghyun exhaled the breath he had held, noticing the short rush of relief spreading through his body when he opened the door and stepped into your room.

You sat on your bed, back facing him. Even though you tried your very best, you knew your shoulders were shaking and that it was only a matter of time before your sobs turned loud again.

“Hey, y/n, about earlier”, Younghyun spoke softly, carefully taking one step after another closer to you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let it all out on you. That was wrong of me. I guess I just was kind of stress- holy shit! What happened?” 

Younghyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly stepping right behind you when he noticed the red stains on your sheets. 

When you didn’t react and only continued to press the pieces of the cup together with bloody fingers, Younghyun slowly leaned down, prying your hands off of the shards. 

A loud sob escaped your throat the moment Younghyun pulled the broken cup out of your hands and placed it down on your bed. 

“Hey, it’s alright, okay? You’re going to be okay, yeah?” Younghyun grabbed your wrist with one hand, using his free arm to wrap it around your body. He noticed the tube of liquid glue next to the pieces, feeling his throat close up in guilt.

For a moment he only held you, needing the time to gather his thoughts while you continued to cry silently. Seeing your bloody hands again, Younghyun inhaled deeply before he lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom.

Somewhat clumsy - oh the irony - he sat down together with you on the edge of the bathtub. Younghyun held you tightly against his chest with one arm while he leaned forward and turned on the faucet of the sink. 

“You wanted to repair the cup, didn’t you?” He asked softly as he grabbed your wrists again and pulled them under the warm stream of water. 

You nodded shortly, biting on your lower lip to stop the sobs but they only fought their way through. Through bleary eyes you stared at the sink, seeing the red stained water vanishing down the drain.

“That’s why you didn’t throw it away.”

Again you only nodded. When Younghyun had called you earlier, you had browsed the internet to check how you could repair a cup without sharp edges remaining.

“And out of protest because I got mad, you decided to paint the cup with some blood?”

You snorted and shook your head, slowly gaining control over your crying. “And tears”, you mumbled.

“And tears”, Younghyun repeated, turning off the water and gently drying your hands. He grabbed a small medical kit from under the sink and started bandaging your hands. Once he finished he turned you on his lap, brushing the remnants of your tears away with his thumb. “Let’s just throw the cup away, yeah? I can always choose a new favourite one.”

“We can’t always throw things away when I break them”, you whispered, new tears forming in your eyes. 

Younghyun leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, humming quietly in agreement. “But I also can’t see you getting hurt because you try to repair them every time.”

“I only got hurt because I couldn’t see properly.”

“Y/N, stop arguing with me when I just told you I care about you”, Younghyun sighed but pulled you closer into his embrace nonetheless. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or scold you for hurting yourself over something so stupid.”

It stayed quiet for a moment between the both of you where you simply took in the presence of the other.

“Can I pick?” You asked, suddenly feeling shy in front of him.

“Only if you pick a kiss”, Younghyun answered, opening his eyes and leaning back a little. A grin spread over his features when he saw you nodding.

Younghyun closed the space between you, his lips hovering in front of yours. He waited several heartbeats, still offering you the chance to pull away, before he turned the ghost of a touch of your lips into a deep kiss. One of his hands came up to your neck and held you there. 

“Just know, I’m still going to scold you later for giving me a heart attack when I saw all that blood and thought the worst”, Younghyun murmured between kisses.

You whined softly before he stopped you with another kiss, letting you successfully shut up and enjoy the moment.

© all rights reserved

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland​ 

[vallkyr]

Step Out

When the people you trust most leave you to get caught by the task force hunting you, what else is there to do but finding new allies?

Different account now but the gif has still been made by the lovely @agustdawn

Pairings: Chan x Kwangsun (OC), Chan x Felix, Minho x Jisung, Changbin x Hyunjin, Younghyun x Liam (OC), Siyeon x Jonghyeon, Aaron x Minhyun and other minor pairings

Genres: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, some Romance and bits of Fluff in between

Tags: Dystopia AU, Rebels AU

Chapter Tags: -

Rating: Mature

General Warnings: Violence, Injury, Panic Attacks, Minor Character Death

Chapter Warnings: mention of injury, scars

Word Count: 12,904

Masterpost

< Previous Chapter |

Hey everyone! Step Out is back after two years! To be honest, I had a hard time writing Step Out since the allegations against Woojin started coming up and it didn’t change after the allegations turned out to be fake. I just couldn’t keep the story the way it was so I decided to replace Woojin by an OC. And since I was already changing things I went ahead and made some more changes (like also replacing Jae by an OC), edited everything I had uploaded and so on. I feel way more comfortable writing Step Out now so I hope that the next update won’t take quite as long. Until then, please enjoy the 9th chapter 💕

Chapter 9 - The burden of secrets

Numbers. So many goddamn numbers. A whole damn block of them. As though the mission wasn’t enough already. It’s all so damn overwhelming. Missions require all the concentration and energy Minho can muster and they always leave his brain exhausted, drained and lazy. And now he has to decipher the fucking message in this condition. He’s been fiddling around on his phone and sharpening pencils for ages now. Minho sighs as he peeks over to the sheet of paper on his desk, trying to get himself to get to work.

11111 111111

101 10 010 1110 110 000000 0011 1110 000000 0100 0 000000 0100 0010 00 000000 1110 0011 100 1000 111111

1 0100 0 0 1000 1 101 0011 0100 0 000000 101 0100 000000 101 1101 1000 000000 101 1000 010 001 111111

01 1000 000000 01 0011 0101 0101 000000 1001 1000 101 000000 101 00 010 0011 0 0011 0 1001 000000 101 0100 000000 1001 0100 000000 0100 0 000000 001 0011 1110 1110 0011 0100 0 1110 000000 1110 0100 0100 0 111111

011 1000 0100 011 0101 1000 000000 1110 101 0011 0101 0101 000000 100 0011 1110 0101 0011 0001 1000 000000 0010 1110 111111

1101 0010 1001 000000 0101 0010 111 000000 110 00 0100 001 000000 001 1000 111111

His head hurts just thinking about deciphering all of that. The first message was already a pain in the ass and the prospect of more and more and more messages like this is daunting. Why did he agree to that anyways? Talking is so much easier. Why does this shit have to be so complicated? Minho should probably make a table. So far, he hasn’t had the time for that, and he had hoped to avoid it for safety reasons. But the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like it can’t be avoided. He really underestimated how much work these messages would be. Minho sighs once again while he gets the writing pad from the drawer and places it on the table next to the message. He takes a pencil and a ruler and starts drawing his grid before gradually filling it. Letter by letter, code by code.

After an hour or so the whole thing is finally complete – at least Minho guesses it was an hour. Time runs as fast as a snail when you try to figure out what the letter Q looks like in your secret code. Minho hates that the code has to be this complicated, but it’s safety first and convenience second in this situation. They mustn’t risk the DIT spying into their communication. If anyone was to find the messages, they would surely give them over to that hell hole of an organisation. Just like the government expects of a ‘good citizen’.

Needing a bit of a change for his tortured brain, Minho decides to put everything aside for now and go downstairs into the kitchen. As expected, Spear B, Felix and Jisung have already started preparing dinner. The sweetest smile spreads over Jisung’s face when he spots Minho in the doorway and gestures for him to come over.

“How is it going?” How is it possible for someone to be this beautiful while peeling a carrot? If B and Lux weren’t here, Minho would love to hug Jisung right now. It would be so lovely to be in Jisung’s embrace, feel his warmth and just forget about his code-wrecked brain. But they aren’t alone. The others’ presence feels like a dark shadow looming over Minho.

“It’s exhausting,” Minho admits. “I wish there was an easier way, but meeting Virus regularly would be too dangerous even if he takes turns with Mercury.”

Jisung hums in understanding. “Then you’re here to take a break? I’m sure we’ll find something for you.”

“Yes please. I really need to get my mind off things a little.”

Without hesitation, Felix grabs his cutting board and sets it down in front of Minho. “Have fun.” His voice sounds overly sweet and the wateriness of Felix’s eyes gives Minho a pretty solid idea of what his task is going to be. Minho’s fear is confirmed when he looks down and is met with stinging in his own eyes. Onions. That explains why Felix was so quick to leave and find himself something else to do. Cutting onions definitely isn’t Minho’s favourite task, but at this point every distraction from that damn code is welcome. Even onions.

“Should have known I’d end up with that.” Despite the tears already forming in his eyes, Minho picks up the knife and gets to work. With the four of them all going about their tasks, they’re soon done preparing everything and can get to cooking, which Felix takes upon himself despite Minho’s protests. From then on Minho, Jisung and B are basically… useless. Everything they can do is keep Felix company and occasionally hand him ingredients. Jisung and Spear B soon start chatting with Felix occasionally chipping in when he isn’t too busy. Minho doesn’t have much to contribute except for a few sentences here and there. His mind is running a mile a minute and is completely empty at the same time. There’s so much to do, so much to think about, but Minho can’t seem to focus on anything. So many 0s and 1s are still circling through his brain.

“Dinner should be done soon,” Felix says before turning towards them. “Can one of you set the table?”

“On my way,” Minho says without hesitation. He is already getting plates from the cupboard when Jisung, who has been sitting on the kitchen counter since he finished peeling carrots, scoots over to him.

“Can I give you a hand?” When he sees Jisung like this, Minho almost forgets they had a mission today. Jisung looks calm and cosy in his oversized sweater that Minho is pretty sure is actually his own. He has been stealing more and more clothes from Minho lately, which should be annoying. But Minho finds it weirdly endearing. He could probably get his clothes back if he really wanted to, though he really prefers seeing them on Jisung over having them wait for him in the closet.

“Sure.”

Jisung slides down from the counter, helps Minho gather everything they need and carry it over to the dining room. Minho is about to go back to the kitchen and get glasses for them when Jisung stops him with a hand on his wrist. The little touch has Minho’s body shift down from forcing himself to function into just existing. He can finally let himself feel his tiredness and exhaustion without pushing it away. When Jisung tugs at his arm, Minho lets his heavy body be pulled away from the archway leading to the kitchen, into the privacy of the little dining room. “Are you okay?” Jisung’s pretty eyes are full of worry as he takes a closer look at Minho. “You seem so quiet.”

“Yeah it’s okay. I’m just exhausted and that message is eating my last brain cells.”

Jisung hums like he’s trying to come up with a way to make it better. Minho simply steps closer and lets his head drop onto Jisung’s shoulder. After a moment Jisung slings his arms around Minho and holds him close. Having Jisung hug him lets Minho forget about the code, about the table, about Felix and B in the kitchen, about everything. It feels like Jisung knocked over the glass of his mind and let all the stuff keeping him busy pour out before setting it down again. After a while Jisung starts humming a low tune and lightly swaying them back and forth. Minho can’t help but giggle as he closes his eyes and allows himself to sink deeper into Jisung’s embrace.

“You guys are taking ages. Do you need help with setting the table?” Hearing Spear B’s voice makes Minho tense up. He gives Jisung a quick slap on the butt that has Jisung smile to himself before stepping away from him. When Minho heads back into the kitchen, Jisung follows close behind him and helps him finish setting the table just in time for lunch to be ready.

Minho feels a lot more at ease when they’re eating. The weight of the day feels a little lighter now that he gets to have a break for once. Since Felix did most of the actual cooking, B and Jisung volunteer to do the dishes after dinner. Though hesitant, Minho goes back to decoding after clearing the table for them. He still isn’t enthusiastic about having to work again, but Minho’s brain definitely feels fresher after a bit of distraction and a tad of Jisung. Hopefully working with the code will be easier now that he has a table. He’ll just have to be a bit more careful now so nobody else gets their hands on it.

[-]

“Don’t stop.” Younghyun cracks an eye open to look up at Liam. Thankfully his request works and makes his boyfriend go right back to patting Younghyun’s hair.

“I should have gotten a dog instead.” Despite his words, Liam doesn’t stop or makes a move to get Younghyun’s head off his lap. “A dog would just fall asleep after five minutes and I could watch TV in peace.”

“A dog can’t cook dinner for you.” Noticing Liam directing a critical look at the empty pizza boxes, Younghyun quickly adds. “Not even on a good day.” As much as he loves cooking with Liam, after hearing that Jungkook is injured and having to deliver the news to Bambam Younghyun had been happy to just drop onto the couch and eat. He still feels exhausted, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Younghyun’s home.

“You underestimate my ability to teach a dog tricks.”

“My bad, I forgot your secret career as a dog trainer.” Younghyun fully opens his eyes and grins up at his boyfriend, who shakes his head and focuses on the TV again. “Speaking of dinner, Chan accepted the invitation. Is tomorrow alright?”

“Sure, I can go grocery shopping after work if we still need anything.” It takes a while before the question Younghyun was already expecting follows. “Any idea what we’ll cook?”

The same old problem. It’s been years and yet the struggle of ‘What can we cook?’ never gets any easier. “No, you?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck.” He and Liam start giggling. Younghyun really should have expected this when he invited Chan over. Deciding what they want to have for dinner is already hard enough when it’s just the two of them, but guests always make it even more difficult because they can’t bullshit their way through it and hope the result is edible. “I could ask Chan if he has any preferences.”

Liam gasps in fake surprise. “You’re a genius.”

“Bet a dog wouldn’t have been able to come up with that.” Younghyun chuckles.

“That’s it. Get off my lap.” It’s obvious Liam isn’t serious, but Younghyun sits up nonetheless and shifts to sit next to Liam. As soon as that’s done, he leans closer to kiss Liam’s cheek. Liam seems almost surprised. A little smile fills his face before morphing into a slightly suspicious frown. “What did you do?”

Younghyun rolls his eyes. Obviously, he cannot possible show affection if he didn’t screw up and accidentally wash a red sock with the white laundry. “Nothing. Just trying to thank you for your helping with delivering the news to my unit. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Liam’s gaze softens. “It was still you doing all the work,” he insists. “I just did my part to calm you down for that.”

Younghyun only hums in agreement. They don’t need any more words. Just locking eyes is enough for Younghyun to know Liam understands how important his support was even if he’s playing it down.

It’s Liam who eventually breaks the warm silence between them. “We should go to sleep. If we can’t manage to have a healthy sleeping schedule, you should at least get some rest after missions.”

Sadly he does have a point with that. Younghyun feels utterly exhausted after the mission and the situation surrounding Jungkook. It takes a bit of effort to get up from the couch, but they eventually make their way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While they brush their teeth Younghyun watches Liam, who is already stripped down to his briefs and one of Younghyun’s shirts, run his hand through his hair, probably deciding that the dye needs to be freshened up in the near future. To anyone else the situation would look so mundane. But seeing Liam in all his half-dressed glory with toothpaste on his lips has Younghyun feel warm and fuzzy inside. The earlier ‘I’ll see you at home.’ is still present in his mind, because nothing describes what Liam is to him like the word home. Being with Liam makes Younghyun feel safe and at peace. No matter what happens, what might shake up their lives, they handle it side by side. Just like they have been doing for the past seven years already.

Younghyun is snapped out of his thoughts when Liam slaps him on the ass. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes wide open? You know you’re supposed to lie down and close your eyes first, right?”

“So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong,” Younghyun mutters while following Liam into their bed. He straddles Liam’s waist and bends down to kiss him while carding his hand through Liam’s chestnut coloured hair. When he pulls back, Liam has the softest smile on his face. They stay like this for a while, looking at each other, Younghyun twirling a strand of Liam’s hair around his finger. If it was an option for them, Younghyun would have asked Liam to marry him then and there. It’s not like either of them needs a ring or certificate whatever – the thought is kind of ridiculous to be honest – but the thought of making it official that they want to spend the rest of their lives together is kind of nice regardless. Though as things stand, they wouldn’t be able to get married no matter if they wanted to or not. At least not here.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“I do.” Liam chuckles. “Love you too, you sap.” Younghyun kisses Liam again and wishes him a good night before sliding out of Liam’s lap and into bed next to him. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow knowing that he’s home.

[-]

Jisung stops in the door frame to their room when he sees Minho still bent over the desk. Minho looks fully concentrated and totally exhausted at the same time, which is a shame considering how relaxed he had seemed after dinner. Did the little break change anything at all? How Jisung wishes he could do more for Minho. He already puts his all into supporting Minho, cheering him up and making sure he relaxes after a hard day. But it never feels like enough, especially not when Minho looks this worn out. “What are you up to?”

Minho jumps up like a scared deer and immediately scrambles to cover his notes with his arms and upper body. It’s a strange sight, like he’d defend those notes with his life. “Sungie. I thought you and Spear B were doing the dishes.”

Jisung carefully steps into the room and closes the door after himself. “We’re done?” This is odd. Jisung understands if he scared Minho because Minho was focused and didn’t hear him come in. But this? It’s almost as if he’s trying to hide something from Jisung. What can be so drastic about those papers that Jisung isn’t allowed to catch as much as a glimpse of them? “Is something the matter? You seem weird…”

“No, it’s nothing. It’s just that I made myself a table for deciphering the code.” Minho leans back in his chair, giving up his defence over the stack of paper. Though he turns them around nonetheless. He still refuses to let Jisung see a thing of what he’s written down. “I mean you know the drill. If you end up getting questioned about this-”

“The less I know the better.” Jisung scoffs as he walks over to the bed and lets himself fall down onto it. This is so frustrating. Even though he’s kind of relieved Minho isn’t keeping any actual secrets from him, it sucks that Jisung isn’t allowed to learn the code. He wishes he could help Minho with deciphering or writing messages or do anything else useful aside from assisting Minho in planning.

“Jisung…” Worry sounds through Minho’s voice as he gets up, follows Jisung to the bed and crouches down on the floor in front of him. Just hearing Minho say his name pushes the negative feelings back a bit. No matter how chaotic and awful things around them might get, at the very least they’ll always have each other. Things between them have been going so well. They used to spend basically every free minute together anyways, but they’ve become even closer since they’ve been living here together.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just read a bit while you work on the messages.”

“You sure?” Minho’s gaze is so gentle that just looking into his eyes releases a swarm of butterflies in Jisung’s stomach. Jisung wonders if he’ll ever fully get used to the way he melts into a puddle around Minho.

“Yeah. Now hurry up and get everything done. The sooner you’re back the sooner can I start cuddling you.”

“True.” Minho is smiling when he rises from the floor again. He stops midway to place a little kiss on Jisung’s lips. “Can’t wait.” Jisung can’t wait either. The thought of burying his face in Minho’s chest and breathing in Minho’s scent while they snuggle as close as they can already feels so wonderful. It will be like heaven to fall asleep in Minho’s arms after the mission. Damnit, Minho really needs to hurry and finish those messages.

“I’m rooting for you!” Jisung calls. The chuckle sends a little tremble through Minho’s shoulders, which is the most endearing thing ever. Jisung takes a moment to look at Minho’s back, basks in the warm feeling that spreads through his chest from being around his boyfriend. It never ceases to amaze Jisung how strong Minho is. Everyone feels exhausted after their missions yet here Minho is, still fulfilling his duties even though he probably wants to just fall into bed and sleep more than anyone. It’s so much work to plan their missions and it must be even more tiring to keep track of everyone and everything during the mission itself. How Minho can stay on top of it all is beyond Jisung’s comprehension.

Deciding to stay true to his words, Jisung gets up from the bed, walks over to the book shelve by the windows and starts looking through everything. Since this is – or rather used to be – the bedroom of Changbin’s parents, most of the books are… not really to Jisung’s liking. There’s stuff about business tactics, handling human resources, and ways to relax at work as well as literary classics that bore Jisung just from looking at them. The depressing choice of books makes Jisung glad he decided keep some books he stole from Changbin’s sister on the nearby side board. Jisung picks one that looks interesting, lies down on the bed again and starts reading.

The book isn’t quite as good as Jisung had hoped –well, it’s only the beginning anyways – but it keeps him busy. After a while, there’s shuffling at the desk, which immediately makes Jisung peeks over the pages of his books. Minho rips a piece from a blank sheet of paper and starts noting down his reply. Even from across the room, Jisung can tell Minho is hurrying. As soon as it’s done, he jumps up, turns around and proudly presents the note to Jisung.

00011 111111

0100 1011 1110 0101 111111

0100 1011 0000 000000 0100 1001 001 100 11 000000 1011 01 000000 0101 1011 010 110 1 000000 0101 1011 1110 0101 111111

1 010 0001 0001 01 0001 000000 111 10 1001 1000 000000 100 001 011 111111

Jisung doesn’t know what it says, the only meaning that matters to him is that Minho comes towards him with big steps. Jisung barely has time to put the book in his hands aside before Minho is already tackling him in a hug. They nestle together, Minho lying on top of Jisung like a blanket. Jisung wraps his arms around Minho and starts rubbing his back in slow, soothing motions. “Are you going to bring that note to your mailbox today?”

“No, it can wait until tomorrow morning. I just have to make it before Virus’ shift,” Minho mumbles into the crook of Jisung’s neck. “I just want to sleep now.”

“You can’t sleep fully clothed though.” Jisung emphasises his point by pulling at the elastic of Minho’s sweatpants before letting it snap against his skin.

“Sure I can.” Minho already sounds half asleep. “Just watch me.”

Seeing no other way to motivate his boyfriend, Jisung pushes Minho off of him, earning himself a frustrated whine. Giggling, Jisung rolls Minho onto his back, gets onto his knees and pulls Minho up by the arms. “Come on.” Minho still pretends to be annoyed by Jisung’s attempts to get him out of bed, making himself deadweight in Jisung’s arms. But the smile on his lips says otherwise.

“You could just undress me here.”

“Tempting,” Jisung admits. “But I can’t brush your teeth here.” Minho groans in annoyance when Jisung finally succeeds in hoisting Minho off the bed and into a standing position. Thinking that this will be enough, Jisung turns to walk away, but is stopped by arms circling his waist. With Minho basically glued to his back, Jisung drags both of them to the bathroom.

[-]

Jungkook’s mind feels fuzzy when he wakes up to a dark room. He can’t even remember going to bed last night. Except this isn’t his bed. Or his bedroom. Where is he? Where else would he be? Is he staying over at someone else’s place? Once Jungkook’s eyes are used to the darkness he takes a look around himself. This is a hospital room. And he’s the patient. He vaguely remembers waking up in the recovery room and that he was transferred, but he must have passed out again right after. What happened?

And what’s that sound? Water? Why would water be running in the middle of the night? Jungkook tries to sit up, but the pain in his leg stops him. He remains propped up on his elbows to take another look around the room. He got a single bed room, so there’s no roommate who could be showering at absurd hours. It could be from next door though? That’s probably it, right? What else would it be? Jungkook lets himself fall back onto the bed and closes his eyes. He’s so damn tired. No matter he much he must have slept already if it became night in the meantime, he doesn’t feel the least bit refreshed.

Suddenly the water stops followed by the sound of the shower door opening and the rustling of a towel. It’s too loud to be from a different room. But who would be here? The walls are probably just thinner than Jungkook would have thought. He should be sleeping instead of worrying his head over weird noises. Jungkook is about to doze off when the bathroom door creaks, making Jungkook snap his eyes open and – for lack of a better memory – try to sit up again. Fucking shit.

“Hey, careful.” Jimin rushes closer to his bed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes…” Jimin? Why is Jimin here? He was on the ambulance with Jungkook, right? Yes, if nothing else Jungkook definitely remembers Jimin holding his hand in the ambulance. But what is he doing in Jungkook’s room? Jungkook looks up at Jimin, only now noticing the towel hanging over Jimin’s shoulders. His gaze wanders farther up to Jimin’s hair that is dripping water onto his shirt. Jimin showered in his hospital room? “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” Jimin chuckles while pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting down beside Jungkook. “We talked after you woke up. I asked you if I could shower here and you said it was fine.”

“Uhm.” Jungkook’s mind is completely blank. He can’t remember waking up before or talking to Jimin, but he can’t imagine that Jimin would lie about something like that. Why would he, anyways? “I don’t know. I guess I fell asleep right after.”

“Looks like it. Sorry if I startled you.” A warm smile takes over Jimin’s face. How come he looks so gorgeous without even doing anything? There’s something so gentle and cosy about seeing Jimin freshly out of the shower wearing a plain, white shirt. Immediately, Jungkook’s thoughts start wandering again. He remembers the way Jimin held his hand in the ambulance, how much strength Jimin’s presence was giving him. If he focuses, he can still feel Jimin’s warmth. As much as Jungkook would love to stay right here, look at Jimin and wallow in memories, he really needs to get to the bathroom. Now. But he doesn’t even manage to get out of bed before pain jolts through his leg once again.

“Wait.” Jimin jumps up, fetches a pair of crutches from the end of the bed and hands them to Jungkook. “Do you need any help?” Even now that Jungkook’s injury has been taken care of, Jimin is still worrying about Jungkook.  Jungkook would find it sweet if he wasn’t so busy feeling guilty about it.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook is still wobbly when he gets up, but he somehow manages to get himself standing on his intact leg. Despite this, Jimin doesn’t seem totally convinced that he’s fine. He follows every single one of Jungkook’s slow steps as though he fears Jungkook might collapse any second. Jimin even pushes the bathroom door open for Jungkook, which is when Jungkook stops for a moment. “I think I can do the rest by myself.”

“You sure?” Jimin’s voice is smug as he tilts his head to the side and looks at Jungkook in a way that has Jungkook weak in his knees. And that’s even though he can barely see Jimin in the darkness of the hospital room. This is really the wrong moment to be whipped, Jungkook needs every bit of his strength his legs have in stock.

“Yes.” Jungkook definitely is sure. He’s never been surer in his life. A mere second later, Jimin breaks into giggles and goes to sit down in his chair again. Jungkook almost sighs in relief. He doubts his pride would survive Jimin helping him on the toilet. When Jungkook returns Jimin is still sitting in the chair, which almost surprises Jungkook. Part of him thought he might be having hallucinations from the anaesthesia. It’s only now that Jungkook realises Jimin is still in his uniform pants. The jacket that goes with it hangs from the back of the chair Jimin is sitting on.

“Is something wrong?” Jimin asks after Jungkook has apparently looked at him for a bit too long. His voice goes back to sounding worried so quickly it really bothers Jungkook. He doesn’t want to worry Jimin, especially not with something as simple as spacing out for a moment.

“You’ve been here the entire time?”

Jimin briefly looks down on himself before nodding. “Yeah. I didn’t want you to be alone.” He runs his hand through his still damp hair. “Besides I still need to interrogate you and report to the Corporal. That can wait until tomorrow though. You need to rest now.”

“So do you.” Jungkook finally makes his way back to the bed. In an instant, Jimin is back by his side, helps him lift his injured leg onto the mattress and get comfortable again. Jimin pulls his chair even closer, right next to the bed, and takes Jungkook’s hand into his just like he had done in the ambulance. Immediately, Jungkook’s cheeks starts heating up. Hopefully Jimin can’t see him blush in the dark. Gosh, why does Jungkook have to be so nervous because of something so simple? Jimin always makes him feel like some stupid teenager having his very first crush.

“I’m really glad you’re fine, Jungkook-ah.”

“Thank you.” What else could he say to that? Jungkook has no idea how he even manages to keep his voice in check, but he’s grateful for himself. At least that part of talking still works. Jimin holding his hand is still so foreign and it makes Jungkook’s heart race like crazy. How come this is actually happening for the second time in one day? “What did the doctors tell you?” Great. Change the topic when he’s getting emotional. Perfect. Exactly what Jungkook really wants.

“Not much,” Jimin admits. “Just that surgery went well and that you should be back on track in a few weeks. I’m sure they’ll tell you everything in more detail tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook still has no idea what to say. Usually conversations with Jimin are so easy, but now there’s this strange tension. It’s not a bad one per se, but one that’s way more emotional than anything they’ve shared before. This is probably just because of the shock, Jungkook tells himself, Jimin must have been worried about losing a member of his unit. Jungkook tries his best to ignore the part of him that just wants to pull Jimin close and kiss him when Jimin absentmindedly rubs his thumb over the back of Jungkook’s hand. The little, maybe meaningless, gesture feels so damn intimate. Jungkook really needs to get a hold of himself, just because Jimin is holding his hand doesn’t mean he wants anything beyond that. But obviously, Jimin isn’t going to let getting a grip be easy.

“We should go to sleep now.” Seeing Jimin’s gentle smile in the dark, alongside his low voice and the words he’s saying make Jungkook’s mind run crazy. Even though he highly doubts Jimin is going to lie down next to him, Jungkook immediately wonders what it would be like. He’d give everything to experience going to bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts, hugging him from behind and making him smile by whispering ‘Good night.’ into his ear. Fuck, Jungkook should not be having these kinds of thoughts about his Lance Corporal.

“You’re right. Good night, Jimin-ah.” Jungkook kind of expected Jimin to complain about the lack of honorifics the way he usually does. But today he just shakes his head and smiles. What’s with him today? Jungkook isn’t sure whether he should be relieved or sad when Jimin eventually lets go of his hand. Though Jungkook is sure he doesn’t like it when Jimin retreats to his chair, despite expecting it. Even with the way Jimin leans back, it doesn’t seem comfortable in the least. He can’t really lie down, he doesn’t have any kind of blanket and without any kind of armrests, chances are Jimin might just tip over to the side. Jungkook feels kind of bad for making Jimin sleep like that. It doesn’t matter that none of this was Jungkook’s idea, Jimin decided it all on his own. “The bed is big enough, you know? You could lie down with me.” Oh dear lord, did Jungkook really just suggest they share a hospital bed?

The beat of silence that passes afterwards makes Jungkook’s nervousness so much worse. Was that offer too much? Did he make things weird? He went too far, didn’t it? Maybe Jungkook should have just kept quiet. But then again, there’s no harm asking right? It’s the least he can do when Jimin takes care of him like that. “That’s nice,” Jimin eventually replies. “But I think it would be safer if I stayed in the chair. I don’t want to hurt you while we sleep.”

“Ah right…” The answer makes Jungkook feel a little stupid. Of course Jimin wouldn’t lie down in bed with him. He shouldn’t have suggested that.

“It still hasn’t set in that you’re injured, huh?” When Jimin smiles all the negative thoughts come to a halt. Jungkook just really likes Jimin’s eye smile, when his eyes nearly disappear and his full lips curl up.

“Not really,” Jungkook admits. “Everything happened so fast.” One moment Jungkook was still going after I.N, the next Bora is dragging him out of the building. Something that happened in a matter of second will take him weeks to recover. It seems so ridiculous.

“I’m sure you’ll come to terms with everything once you have a bit of time to yourself.”

“Yeah maybe.” Even when Jimin wishes him a good night once again, leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, Jungkook has trouble looking away from him. Despite all the complicated feelings that come with it, Jungkook is really glad Jimin is here. He wouldn’t have wanted to be alone after this mess. Wasn’t that exactly want Jimin was going for? That Jungkook wouldn’t feel like he’s all by himself after everything that has happened? “Thank you for being here, it means a lot,” Jungkook mutters, a smile tugs at Jimin’s lips but he doesn’t say anything. Jungkook doesn’t know for how long he continues looking at Jimin until he finally falls asleep.

[-]

“Good morning you two. I’m Lance Corporal Kang Dongho of battle team unit C.” Despite the cheerful smile and friendly tone, Chan feels kind of intimidated by the man standing in front of them. Lance Corporal Kang is only a little taller than Chan, but with a noticeably broader built. And he’s definitely way more muscular than both Chan and Kwangsun. Aside from his physical appearances, just the words “battle team” leave an uneasy feeling in Chan’s gut. He still hasn’t forgotten the looks they got on their first day. Though at the very least, he can’t remember Lance Corporal Kang being among the people who death glared at them. So Chan has hope that the Lance Corporal wasn’t completely forced to work with them and may have even volunteered to work with them. One is allowed to dream after all. “The Corporals and Sergeant Park decided that it would be good for you to come along when our division marches out. It’s my task to make sure you are prepared for that.”

“We will go on missions with you guys?” Sitting in the office and being asked questions is one thing, but going out and actively fighting Stray Kids is different. Would they have to carry guns like the real DIT members? Would they have to shoot if they came across one of the members? The thought makes Chan’s blood freeze. He can’t do that. He can’t point a gun at them. He can’t go that far.

But he has to. Chan was resolved to do everything it takes, he mustn’t back down now.

“Exactly. Sergeant Park thinks it will be good to have you there since you know the way Stray Kids operate better than anyone else.”

“Okay…”

Kwangsun seems to notice his discomfort if the way he steps closer is anything to go by. Chan turns around to look at him, feeling a bit reassured by the hint of a smile on Kwangsun’s face. No matter what happens, he’s not alone. They’re going to do all of this together.

“What exactly is the plan?” Kwangsun asks after turning back to Lance Corporal Kang. Chan is pretty glad he’s taking over talking; he really doesn’t feel like doing it right now.

“Well first of all we’ll have to figure out your current skill level and which areas still need work in. Then we’ll have to make sure you meet the requirements of the DIT. After all we don’t want to put you at risk when marching out with us.”

“When are we going to start?”

“Right now.” Lance Corporal Kang beams at them. “There are some workout clothes for you on the table over there. We’ll practice every day after lunch break until 4pm. The people of my unit will be in the common room or with unit A so we have this room to ourselves for practice.”

Oh. Chan had hoped for a little more time to stomach the news. The thought of going after the rest of Stay Kids is still so foreign he doesn’t feel ready to start training for it. Contrary to him, Kwangsun doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with the situation. Without any bit of hesitation, he walks over to the table and grabs himself a set from one pile of the aforementioned clothes. They’re supposed to change here? In the practice room? In front of Lance Corporal Kang?

Chan takes a deep breath to steady himself. He may be a bit out of practice by now, but it can’t be that hard. Nobody is paying attention to him anyways, right? Then why is there still this fear bubbling up inside of him? He glances over at Kwangsun and the Lance Corporal, finding them still chatting. Good. At least there’s that. If he hurries they won’t see. Chan grabs the shirt from his pile of clothes, backs himself against the wall, quickly slips out of the shirt and into the new one. As soon as the fabric slides over his skin he starts to feel more at ease again. When he looks up, Kwangsun and Lance Corporal Kang are still talking about some workout. Neither of them seems to have noticed anything. Feeling a bit more relaxed now that the worst part is done, Chan takes the pair of grey sweatpants from the table and changes the rest of the way. He’ll really have to find a different way to do this if they’re going to continue training with Lance Corporal Kang.

[-]

“Good morning!” Jungkook frowns when a cheerful voice rips him out of his sleep. Why is hospital staff at war with sleep? Wouldn’t sleeping in be beneficial for his recovery or something? When Jungkook tries to sit up a bit, his gaze immediately lands on Jimin who’s still sleeping slumped on the chair. He actually stayed here all night? The nurse currently chattering about the beautiful weather today doesn’t seem to have noticed Jimin’s presence yet. Jungkook waits for her to look at him before lifting his finger to his lips and nodding over to the chair. The nurse freezes in her movements and breathes a silent “Oh.” as soon as she spots Jimin. Luckily, Jimin seems to still be sound asleep despite her loud voice. He must be a heavy sleeper. “Should I come back later?” the nurse mouths.

Jungkook nods, smiling when she gives him a thumbs up and leaves his room again. Still feeling incredibly tired, Jungkook lies down and tries to get comfortable again. But of course, he can’t seem to close his eyes when Jimin is right next to him. In his sleep, Jimin slid down on the chair a bit. His legs are spread far apart, his arms are crossed in front of his chest and his head is hanging low. The sunlight streaming in through the stark white curtains is playing with Jimin’s jet black hair. Jungkook is glad Jimin didn’t wake up when the nurse came in, not just because it gives him the opportunity to stare a little bit. (Yes, Jungkook is aware that’s kind of creepy.) Mainly, Jungkook is glad Jimin gets to sleep a bit more. Jimin really stayed here over night just so Jungkook wouldn’t be alone. He must have been so exhausted after the mission. Despite all the difficulties, Jimin chose being there for Jungkook over his well-deserved rest. Knowing that Jimin would do anything for their unit is one thing, experiencing it a totally different one. And having Jimin do it for him specifically has Jungkook’s heart race a little.

No matter how nice it may be to have Jimin care for him like that, Jungkook is worried about him. It’s probably ridiculous. Jimin knows his limits; he doesn’t need anyone to fuss over him. Even before Jimin became their Lance Corporal, Jungkook has always been impressed by his strength, both physical and mental. Jimin may have a handsome face and a rather slim build, especially compared to a lot of guys on the battle team, but that doesn’t mean he can’t kick ass. On top of that, Jimin knows how to lead a team. He has no trouble joking around with everyone but is well aware of when enough is enough and how to keep them on track when needed. It’s not surprising he was picked to become Lance Corporal after Jongdae left. Jimin is amazing as a person and as a leader. He gives so much when he doesn’t have to. And here Jungkook goes again, getting carried away when he allows his thoughts about Jimin to flow.

It’s crazy how tired operations – and thinking about your crush - can make you. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s dozing off again. Whether it’s for ten minutes or two hours, Jungkook doesn’t know, only that he wakes up when Jimin stirs awake on his chair. “Good morning,” Jungkook mumbles while pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Jimin rubs the sleep out of his eyes while sitting up. “Mornin’.” He rolls his shoulders before pushing his arms up to stretch, whining softly while he does so. Oh dear lord, Jimin looks so soft. So huggable. And just like that Jungkook is back to the fantasy of last night: sharing a bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts with dishevelled hair and a slow tired smile on his face. For fuck’s sake Jungkook has been having these kind of thoughts under control while they’re at work, why are his feelings acting up now? Is it because of everything that happened yesterday? Or is it just because they’re alone? When they do meet outside of work it’s usually with the other members of the unit. Jungkook is totally not used to getting to put his full attention on Jimin without worrying about anyone else getting suspicious.

“How are you feeling today?” Jimin mumbles. His voice is still a little rough, but Jimin seems to slowly be coming alive.

“Alright, I guess. But I haven’t tried to move yet so who knows?”

“Good, keep it up.” Jimin wags his finger at Jungkook and chuckles before getting up from his spot and starting to stretch his limbs. It takes all of Jungkook’s self-restraint, but Jungkook manages not to stare at the stretch of skin that is exposed when Jimin’s shirt rides up from the little exercises. “I still have to interview you on the whole incident.” Jimin doesn’t sound happy about having to conduct this interview in the least, but Jungkook guesses there’s no way around it. Since Jimin can’t seem to find anything to write on, he starts a recording on his phone and begins with the interview.

Even after having had more time to process everything, there isn’t much Jungkook can tell Jimin about yesterday’s events. The incident with I.N just happened too fast. Jimin asks him question after question, coaxing more details out of Jungkook than he thought would be possible. But in the end, it still doesn’t feel like much. After they reach the limits of Jungkook’s memory, Jimin thanks him and starts packing up his stuff. “I should probably get going. What time is it?” Truth be told, Jungkook is feeling a little disappointed that their time is over already. Well, it’s probably obvious that he doesn’t want Jimin to leave. It would be too good to be true if Jimin was able to stay with him.

“I have no idea,” Jungkook admits. He hasn’t even considered checking the clock until now. As he found out today, when he’s alone with Jimin time doesn’t matter. But sadly, it matters to Jimin. He checks his phone, groaning as soon as the screen lights up.

“Fuck, I should be at work already.” Jimin quickly puts on his jacket. “Sorry, I wish I could stay longer. Are you going to be okay?” No. Definitely not. Jimin needs to stay here and personally nurse Jungkook back to health.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

Jimin smiles. He finally smiles again. Words can’t express how much Jungkook loves Jimin’s smile. “Great. I’ll make sure to drop by again after work. Behave until then.” Already about to leave, Jimin stops in the doorframe and turns around again. “Oh and Jungkook-ah?”

“Yes?”

“The way I know you you’re going to try and hurry to get back with us. Please don’t do that. I know it’s hard to sit around and wait, but you need time to recover. Promise me you’ll take things slow for now.”

Jungkook swallows around the lump in his throat. There it is again, Jimin’s worry. But combined with the little smile on his face, it doesn’t feel quite as heavy, makes Jungkook’s heart flutter rather than weighing him down. “I promise.”

[-]

“Happy Birthday!!!”

The cheers are followed by the sound of a party horn right before Yeji is yanked forward. Hyunjin laughs as Yeji stumbles over the threshold and right into Yuna’s hug. “Thank you,” Yeji says in between giggles. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Sorry we’re late.” As soon as she’s inside the apartment, Yuna rushes to the couch to hug Jisu and Chaeryoung too.

“Yeah, someone took ages in the bathroom,” Ryujin explains with a pointed look at her sister while closing the door behind herself and Yeji. Ooh, there’s definitely some tension there.

“You’re one to talk. Your hair is easy to fix, Unnie!”

It obviously takes Ryujin a lot of self-control to limit her reaction to an eyeroll before finally hugging Yeji. “Happy Birthday, Jiji-ah. Be grateful you have a brother.”

Yeji just barely stops herself from bursting out laughing. “Brothers aren’t any better, trust me.”

“At least I don’t lose half a rabbit in hair every day,” Hyunjin eventually joins into the conversation. He had planned to go unnoticed for a bit longer, as he usually does. Since the couch is facing away from the kitchen his chances would have been pretty good if he had stayed quiet. But one has to defend themselves against defamation like that. Yeji scoffs at him, but Hyunjin ignores it in favour of bringing two more glasses to the couch table for Ryujin and Yuna before taking a seat on the bar stool by their little kitchen island.

“Anyways-” Jisu claps her hands together, effectively ending the almost fight- “now that everyone is here, we can finally get to the gifts!”

“Right!” Chaeryoung hurries to get the large bag she had set down in front of the hall stand and takes out two pastel-coloured boxes with ribbons wrapped around them. She smiles sweetly while coming back to the couch. “This is for you.” She hands one the boxes to Yeji before approaching Hyunjin, her smile turning a little more subtle. “And a little something for you.”

What? “For me?” Hyunjin asks while looking at the little mint green box now in his hands. It feels almost weird to accept the gift from Chaeryoung. He isn’t particular close with any of the girls, even less so after Yeji’s injury. Hyunjin can hardly endure being in a room with them for longer than a few minutes, which is why he’s been avoiding that as much as possible. Why would Yeji’s friends get a gift for him?

“Yeah. It’s your birthday too after all. I mean it’s really nothing big, but we wanted to give you a present too.” The tips of Chaeryoung’s ears turn pink as she talks.

“Thank you…” The last time Hyunjin got a gift from someone other than Yeji was ages ago. Aunt Minyoung had never really bothered with gifts; she had taken Hyunjin and Yeji out to eat on their birthday and that had been it. So getting gifts from Yeji’s friends – people who barely even know him – it feels strange. In a good way but still… weird.

Hyunjin unties the sky blue ribbon, lifts the lid of the box and is met with baby pink fluffiness. He reaches inside and pulls out the soft little thing, examining it from up close. “A hairband?” Hyunjin tries not to sound too confused, he really does, but he has no idea how Yeji’s friends got the idea of giving him a hairband.

“Yeji said your hair is getting way too long and keeps bothering you. She joked that she’d have to either buy you a hairband or cut your hair in your sleep,” Ryujin seems downright proud at having exposed Yeji’s slander of Hyunjin’s hair.

“We thought we should intervene before things get out of hand,” Yuna adds to it. Yeji and Ryujin are both giggling behind their hands. With the bit of context, Hyunjin can’t help but laugh as well. It also makes him want to hide all scissors in their apartment and start locking his door before going to bed, but that will have to wait. For now, he sets the box down on the table and starts putting the hairband on, though judging by the new increase in giggles he’s not doing a very good job. Luckily Chaeryoung is quick to come closer and fix the hairband for him.

“There you go,” she chimes, smiling when she takes a step back to observe her work. Somehow Chaeryoung can’t seem to look away. Hyunjin must be a sight with a pink hairband on his head.

“Looking good.” Thankfully, her words turn the room’s attention back to Yeji. Having everyone’s eyes on him was getting weird. Hyunjin and Chaeryoung eventually go to join the others. They push the coffee table against the wall and take a seat on the floor since it’s already a tight squeeze on the couch with Yeji, Ryujin, and Jisu there. As soon as Yeji opens her present, she starts laughing. “That’s a lot of chocolate.”

“Not just chocolate,” Yuna points out with an amused sparkling in her eyes. “There’s something else, but you need to find it first.” All of the girls look incredibly amused when Yeji laughs and starts unloading various chocolate bars, small boxes of filled chocolates and the like one by one. Basically, all her favourite chocolate snacks are featured in this present. Soon the already cramped couch is overflowing with little boxes and packages and Hyunjin starts to wonder how all of that was ever fit into the box.

“I think I found it!” Proudly, Yeji presents the small box she discovered at the bottom of the box. Her eyes grow wide when she opens it and peeks inside. “Oh my god,” she whispers while lifting a necklace out of the box and taking a closer look at it. The necklace consists of a rather plain, thin, golden chain with a flat heart shaped pendant dangling from it. “You really got that engraved?”

As the only one not involved in the gift, Hyunjin is absolutely clueless. He leans closer to Chaeryoung, whispering loud enough for only her to hear. “What does it say?”

Chaeryoung moves even closer before whispering into Hyunjin’s ear. “I believe in myself.” That’s such a sweet gift, considering the special place those words hold in Yeji’s heart. ‘I believe in myself’ has been her preferred motivational phrase since forever, but even more so after her injury.

“That’s a nice idea,” he replies as quietly as possible. Chaeryoung beams proudly and thanks Hyunjin. By now, Ryujin is helping Yeji put on the necklace while Yeji is checking her image with the front camera of Jisu’s phone.

“Thank you all so much. I love the necklace,” Yeji says with a bright smile. “And the chocolate of course.”

“You’re welcome,” the girls reply all at once before breaking into laughter at their unintentional synchronization. Hyunjin can’t help but smile at the whole scene. Yeji’s friends are such a cheerful lot and it always catches onto Yeji as well. She’s more carefree, more joyful around them. No matter how much Hyunjin avoids spending time with Yeji’s friends, he will always be grateful for everything they do for her.

“So now that the most important item on the agenda is done, how about we watch a movie?” Ryujin suggests when the laughter quiets down.

“Why do I feel like you already have something specific in mind?” Hyunjin scoots closer to the TV console filled with their CDs, DVDs and so on. It’s mostly old, but nonetheless valued, stuff: movies they already watched as kids, their first CDs and music their parents used to listen too.

“Howl’s moving castle,” Yuna suggests. Her face lights up when Yeji squeals in excitement. It’s Yeji’s favourite movie. Or rather their favourite movie, but Hyunjin doubts he really played a role in that choice. While Hyunjin turns to search for the right DVD, Ryujin switches on the TV. Whitin a second, the light atmosphere sours. Hyunjin grows tense when he looks up at the TV and realises why: the news channel that’s currently on is showing a report about yesterday’s Stray Kids attack. Hearing the words of the news lady makes Hyunjin’s blood freeze solid, even though he already checked the reports. Usually seeing the newscast after their missions isn’t this much of a problem – which is not to say it isn’t difficult – but now, with all of Yeji’s friends here, Hyunjin desperately wants to get away from here as soon as possible. How the hell is he supposed to not expose himself in front of everyone when the newsreader is talking about the injured Private?

“That reminds me.” Yuna’s voice sounds like it’s miles away. “I wanted to ask you how things are going with work. Were you at the attack yesterday?”

“No, sadly not. My unit said I need to really prepare myself first. I don’t want to rush things and end up being a burden to them. I want to make sure I’m actually ready before stepping out with everyone else,” Jisu explains.

“Then where were you during the attack?” Chaeryoung chimes in. Hyunjin can feel himself grow more and more and more nervous every time one of them speaks up. His heartbeat is hammering in his ears. He turns his head directs a pleading look at Yeji, hoping that she will be able to help somehow. But judging by her expression, she doesn’t know how to stop the conversation without being suspicious either. The DIT is an important topic for Yeji’s friends and trying to stop them whenever they talk about it or Stray Kids would soon catch the girl’s attention.

“I stayed in the rooms of the investigation team together with a lot of the other new members. Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun were there too. It was so weird to be around them.” Rather than just weirded out, Jisu sounds outright disgusted though. “I mean I know they were questioned by Lieutenant Yoon and all and officially help us now, but it just feels wrong to trust them. They’ve caused so much damage and harm and yet they were sitting there like regular members of the investigation team.”

The words cut through Hyunjin like knives. It’s so easy to forget what the average citizen thinks of Stray Kids when he’s living his regular life. This is like a hit in the face. If that’s Jisu’s opinion on Nine and Kkul – or rather Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun – what would she think of him who’s still out there going on missions? What would all of them think? Hyunjin takes a look at the girls and feels more and more stings in his heart realising that none of them would let him anywhere near Yeji anymore if they had any idea he’s a member of Stray Kids. When he meets Yeji’s gaze, she seems to know exactly what’s going on in Hyunjin’s head. There’s so much sadness in her eyes. A silent “I’m sorry.” hangs between them, which only makes Hyunjin feel worse. Yeji is the last person who should feel sorry for this situation. She’s the one suffering the most knowing that the most important people in her life are pitted against each other.

“I need to go,” Hyunjin blurts out before his brain can even think about it. “Totally forgot. My boss asked me to come in earlier today and help with stocktaking.”

A frown flickers across Yeji’s face but she’s quick to get it under control again. “Do you really have to go? Can’t someone else do it?”

“I’m afraid not. Sorry, ladies.” It’s hard to endure the pitying looks Ryujin, Yuna, Chaeryoung and Jisu give him. Poor birthday boy can’t even enjoy the party because he has to work. They have no idea. They don’t know anything. Hopefully they never will. “I wish you lots of fun, everyone. Don’t do anything stupid. And leave a piece of cake for me.”

Hyunjin quickly goes to his room and throws his door shut, feeling a bit of relief from just being out of the girls’ view. He releases a shaky breath and tries to collect himself. Hyunjin needs to get out of here as quickly as possible, he can’t bear this any longer. The looks, the talking about Stray Kids, everything. Hyunjin grabs his bag, drapes it over his shoulder, strides towards the door.

“Be careful!” Yeji calls when he’s already halfway through the door.

“Will do!” Bam. Silence. Peace. Loneliness. Now that Hyunjin’s alone in the hallway, he can barely hold back the tears any longer. He tries to stay as quiet as possible while hurrying into the elevator. Only when the doors close does he allow himself to really let go. Hyunjin quickly presses as many buttons as possible before letting himself sink to the ground. More and more sobs shake through his body as he hugs his legs to his chest. He has no idea how Yeji was able to handle this situation. All her friends developed a hatred for Stray Kids, or any sort of resistance really, after what happened to her. Hyunjin can’t even imagine how much pain he would be in if all of his friends hated his sister to death.

[-]

On his way home, Seungmin feels nothing but exhausted. Usually meeting up with I.N is fun, even though they have to be careful not to draw any attention towards them. But after yesterday’s events, I.N was still upset and their meeting became draining. Seungmin had hoped hanging out together would lift his spirits a bit, but it hadn’t done much good. Maybe it had been stupid of Seungmin to think cheering I.N up would be that easy. He shot at somebody else just yesterday. It must have been very traumatic for him. Thankfully, by now news has gotten out that the soldier in question is only mildly injured. Seungmin doesn’t want to know what it would do to I.N if he had caused serious or even lethal harm to someone. He can’t imagine what that would have been like for I.N, knowing he risked or much worse took someone’s life.

Despite the meeting with I.N having been rougher than expected, Seungmin doesn’t feel relieved when he’s standing in front of his home. As much as he loves his family, he doesn’t like being around any of them after missions. Every look, every word riles him up, makes him feel like they’re seeing right through him. It’s ridiculous and Seungmin knows it, but that doesn’t stop this horrible feeling from clawing its way into his chest. He doesn’t bother saying anything when he enters the house. Excellent ears run in the family;  everyone knows he’s home. Though rather than a voice, the noise of the TV greets Seungmin. It sounds like a newscast. Damnit. Of course, they’re watching the news. They’re always watching the news. Seungmin walks closer to the living room and peaks through the door, feeling a bit relieved when he realizes the report is about some sports team.

“Where were you?” Seungmin’s mother turns around as soon as she notices him. “You said you were going to be home for dinner.” Right, he did say that. Somehow he had completely forgotten about that while he was with I.N.

“I’m sorry. One of my friends is kind of going through a rough time and needed help.” It’s the closest to the truth Seungmin can be. He hates lying, especially to his family, but saying he helped a friend isn’t actually a lie. In a way he and I.N are friends after all. Though a regular person probably wouldn’t consider someone whose name they don’t know their friend. That doesn’t change anything for Seungmin though. The members mean a lot to him, real names or not.

“During the attack, a member of the DIT was injured. According to the officials, the injury is only minor.”

The words make Seungmin freeze up. He hadn’t noticed when the news had moved on to the recent Stray Kids attack. “Uhm,” he stammers, trying to regain his composure. Damnit, he had managed to avoid seeing news about their missions in the presence of his family for so long. Why did exactly this mission have to break the streak? “Leftovers are in the fridge?” Finally, an idea.

“Yes,” Minseo confirms. “We made sure to leave enough for you.” Her smile is so sweet it hurts Seungmin that it doesn’t feel genuine to him right now. It just stresses him out even more. Thinking that his sister knows what’s going on, where he was or with whom is ridiculous. Minseo has no way of knowing he’s part of Stray Kids and if she did she wouldn’t be sitting here so calmly. But Seungmin can’t help it. When it gets to hiding his identity, he sees the worst everywhere.

“Thanks.” Seungmin turns on his heel and heads into the kitchen. He quickly grabs himself some food for himself and runs upstairs. When he reaches his room, he puts everything down on his desk and lets himself plop down on his chair. Seungmin closes his eyes and gathers himself. He’s alone. He’s safe. Nobody knows he’s DaN. Everything is fine. There’s nothing to worry about.

If only it was really that easy.

[-]

“Damn, I thought I was early,” Yeonjun notes while dropping his bag in front of the lockers. He isn’t entirely wrong. Despite going grocery shopping for lack of a better alternative, Hyunjin ended up coming in a lot earlier than needed. The emptiness of the bar was just too appealing to pass up on. This must be the first time he’s been here before Yeonjun; of course that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“Ah yeah, my plans for the evening got cancelled so I thought I’d come in a little earlier, clean the counter and all.” Hyunjin is aware of how ridiculous his explanation sounds. Who the hell goes to work when they have free time? As expected, Yeonjun doesn’t seem convinced. Not one bit.

“Sure, because what else would you do when you have some time to spare?” Despite his words, Yeonjun doesn’t push it, instead starting to change into his uniform. Hyunjin turns his head away to give Yeonjun some privacy. Well, as much privacy as one can have while changing in a cramped room with another person in it. “Did you already refill the straws and napkins?”

“Yup.” Hyunjin nods even though Yeonjun probably isn’t looking at him. “Everything done.”

“Great, thanks.” Yeonjun walks over to the mirror, fixes a few strands of his auburn dyed hair before turning towards Hyunjin. “Since we have some time left before costumers come and we have no other job to kill time with, are you going to tell me what you’re running away from?” That much on not pushing it. Of course Yeonjun wouldn’t just let it slide.

“I had a fight with my sister,” Hyunjin lies, despite feeling horrible about telling more lies. The fact that he has gotten so used to this makes it even worse. He just comes up with stuff like this on the spot and is able to keep a straight face like it’s nothing. Admittedly, he isn’t always convincing. That’s only a matter of time though. Hyunjin knows he should be grateful for that ability, but he hates it. “I forgot to do the laundry and things kind of… escalated.” At this point, getting to be honest about things that aren’t related to Stray Kids in any way has become a relief. Something as simple as being allowed to mention Yeji already makes things feel a little easier. More normal. It’s so trivial, but Hyunjin enjoys still getting to speak some truth about himself.

Yeonjun nods despite the fact that he doesn’t really seem to buy it yet again. “And you’re hoping that will solve itself if you go to work?”

“Not exactly, but I needed to get out of our apartment,” Hyunjin explains. At the very least, that part is true. He couldn’t have stayed with the girls a single second longer. “Also, by the time I come home she’s going to be asleep. So we’ll have lots of time to calm down and talk about everything again tomorrow.”

Yeonjun shakes his head at Hyunjin’s reasoning. “If you ask me, you should do that laundry before your sister gets up.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

Yeonjun changes the rest of the way in silence. When he’s done, they walk over into the main room. It’s still too early for costumers and since Hyunjin already prepared everything there’s not really anything to do. Thankfully the topic of his alleged fight with Yeji stayed in the locker room. Hyunjin really would not have wanted to try and justify this stupid laundry story any longer. Their chatter now is kind of boring, but Hyunjin definitely prefers that over lies and excuses. For lack of a better way to pass their time, he and Yeonjun start examining the bottles on their work surface, checking which of them are close to empty and will have to be replaced soon. The downside of being busy with the bottles is that their conversation dies down, which leaves Hyunjin way too alone with the negative thoughts and memories of the party.

“Hyunjin-oppa! Finally!” Chaeryoung’s voice has never sounded this troubled, at least Hyunjin has never heard her like this. Of course three missed calls and urgent sounding messages weren’t going to be a good sign, but the panic in her voice seems more extreme than Hyunjin expected.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Every rapid heartbeat made Hyunjin even more nervous. Chaeryoung wouldn’t call him like this if it wasn’t serious. She never calls him. She barely even messages him. And since she apparently insisted on calling him specifically, there was only one possible reason. “Is something wrong with Yeji?”

“Yes she-” Chaeryoung gulped as though it was hard for her to speak. Hyunjin couldn’t take the wait, the moment felt like an eternity. “We’re in the hospital. The Red Cross Hospital. Please come here as soon as you can.” Hospital. Yeji was in hospital. Fuck. Hyunjin couldn’t stop the memories from crashing down on him: following the nurse through the hallways, knocking at the big dark door, walking into the sterile room. The images felt like dozens of bricks pressing down on Hyunjin’s chest. He could barely breathe.

“I’m on my way.” His voice sounded choked up, but Hyunjin couldn’t care less. He needed to see Yeji, see if she was fine. Even if it meant going to a hospital. What could have possibly happened? Part of Hyunjin wished that he had asked more questions, but Chaeryoung hadn’t sounded like she was in the right condition for lengthy explanations. Maybe there wasn’t time either. Fuck, Hyunjin needed to hurry.

The ride was hell to say the least. Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from being nervous and fidgety. It didn’t help one bit that he had just come home from a mission that was now flickering across the screens in the subway. A weird feeling started spreading through Hyunjin when the news lady started talking about civilians getting hurt. That simply wasn’t possible. There were hardly any people around when they attacked, and the DIT was supposed to keep civilians away, so how would any of them get close enough to get injured? It was probably a lie, propaganda against them. That had to be it.

Getting out of the subway and that damned news report made Hyunjin feel a bit better, but only momentarily. Every step towards his destination made his heart race even faster and chest feel even tighter. Hyunjin hated hospitals. A hospital was the last place he wanted to be at, but there was no way around it. He would have to get his act together. For Yeji.

Hyunjin let himself be led into the waiting room by one of the nurses at the front desk, freezing when he saw Yeji’s friends. The girls looked like they had rolled around on the ground of a construction side. Their hair and clothing were covered in dust. Taking a closer look, Hyunjin noticed their reddened eyes, as though they had been crying. He also spotted several band aids on them and other, smaller cuts that weren’t covered. Ryujin had a bandage around her head. Hyunjin guessed all the adults around the girls were their respective parents. He scanned every face in the room, but Yeji wasn’t here. Oh god.

“Oppa!” Chaeryoung got up and jogged towards him. She talked louder than usual; normally her voice was rather quiet. Hyunjin only now realised it wasn’t just panicked, it was almost like she had headphones on and was trying to talk over music.

“What happened?” Sobbing caught Hyunjin’s attention, making him look up to find Yuna crying into her mother’s shoulder. “Where’s Yeji?”

“Stray Kids, they- they attacked the department of education.” No. No that couldn’t be the reason. They were careful. They were always careful. Yeji and her friends weren’t even inside the building; there’s no way they were hit by the explosion. It just couldn’t be. But the evidence was all around Hyunjin. “We were on our way to run some errands when everything blew up behind us-”

“What about Yeji? Is she okay?” Hyunjin could hear the panic in his own voice by now. He just had to know Yeji was okay already.

“I have no idea,” Chaeryoung admitted. Tears started to flood her eyes once again. She couldn’t seem to look up at Hyunjin any longer. “They’re still operating on her.”

“Costumers.”

“What?” Hyunjin’s head snapped up. Gone are the white walls and blindingly bright lights. The room is dark grey, the light subdued. This isn’t a hospital. Thank god. It takes a while until Hyunjin is able to focus on Yeonjun in front of him. “What did you say?”

Yeonjun doesn’t get to answer since he’s already taking some guy’s order. Still feeling a bit fuzzy, Hyunjin checks his watch. 8.03. They’re actually open by now. He must have zoned out for quite a while. As soon as the costumer is sent off with his drinks, Yeonjun turns towards Hyunjin again. “Had a nice time in dreamland?”

“Not really,” Hyunjin admits. The memory is still heavy like chains around his heart. He really tries his best not to remember that day, but sometimes it all just comes crashing onto him. Tonight is going to be anything but pleasant, Hyunjin already knows that. He never sleeps well on days like this, no matter how tired he is after his shift.

Yeonjun steps closer, speaking in a low voice. “Is this still about your sister?”

“Yeah.” Hyunjin takes a look around, making sure the two only costumers they have are far enough away. “I feel so bad for what happened. I should have just done the laundry and not started a fight about it.” Yes, very convincing. He got overwhelmed by the traumatic experience of fighting over household chores.

“Agreed.” Yeonjun smiles and pats Hyunjin’s back. “Hey, I’m sure if you apologise and do the laundry everything will be fine.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“Of course I am,” Yeonjun sounds almost offended Hyunjin would ever assume anything else. “That’s why you listen to your elders.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “You say it as though you’re some 106 year old wise guy of the town. You’re one year older than me.”

“One year can make a lot of difference.” Yeonjun wags his finger in Hyunjin’s face. “Talk to me again in one year and see how much has changed.” Hyunjin tries to think of a comeback, but before his brain can provide him with anything another group of costumers walks in. Yeonjun winks at Hyunjin before going back to the counter and accepting the first order. Sighing, Hyunjin straightens his back, puts his costumer service smile on and starts helping Yeonjun prepare the drinks.

[-]

They’re really getting training now. Somehow just the thought lets a smile bloom on Kwangsun’s face. After all, none of the higher-ups would have agreed on sending them off to missions if they didn’t trust him and Chan, right? Okay, maybe trust is too strong of a word for that, but it’s definitely a good sign. In their situation every little step forward should be celebrated. Especially steps like this.

Kwangsun has a slight skip in his step as he walks into the kitchen, starting to look for stuff he can use to cook dinner for them. Though since they haven’t been grocery shopping in a while, there’s not really a lot to work with. They only have rice and noodles to be precise. Yup, plain rice would make a great celebration meal. Maybe Kwangsun should go grocery shopping? It’s not that late yet, he could go buy more ingredients to cook some proper meal for them. Kimchi jjigae would be awesome. If he’s already out and about, he should buy more than just the ingredients though. Some snacks wouldn’t hurt either. And they’re short on tissues and apple juice. Is there anything else? Kwangsun feels like he’s forgetting something. Don’t they need more shampoo too? Or is it soap? The answer feels within his reach but Kwangsun can’t quite grasp it.

“Chan-ah?” he calls, already leaving the kitchen. There’s no way both of them forgot, right? Plus, Chan might have wishes of his own, which Kwangsun would be happy to fulfil if Chan just replied. Still starved for a reply, Kwangsun walks down the hallway and opens the door to Chan’s room. “I’m going gro-”

Kwangsun freezes in the door frame, completely still. He forgot to knock, which was a mistake. Chan specifically requested it when they moved in. How did he not remember something that simple? Just having come out of the shower, Chan is still shirtless. That by itself really wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t for the long, faint pink lines raking over Chan’s back. Most of them crisscross over his spine at the height of his ribcage, but some extend to his shoulders as well as lower back.

Chan’s entire back is covered in scars.

It only now dawns upon Kwangsun that he’s never seen Chan without a shirt, not even when in the practice room today. How did Chan even manage to change that quickly? And how come Kwangsun hadn’t realized how much Chan must have hurried to hide this? Or questioned how urgently Chan had insisted that Kwangsun knocks whenever he enters his room?

“What the fucking hell are you doing here?!” The aggression in Chan’s voice is so foreign. He’s never sounded like this, not during missions or while discussing plans or anything. Kwangsun’s heart drops to his knees. Chan is scary right now. His jaw is set and his face pulled into a scowl. His gaze has an intensity that has Kwangsun’s throat go dry. This is bad, this is really bad. Chan stumbles backwards and presses himself against his closet while trying to cover himself with the shirt in his hands. The mixture of anger and horror on Chan’s face makes Kwangsun feel like a monster, as though he murdered Chan’s family right in front of his very eyes.

“I’m sorry, I-” Kwangsun can’t seem to form proper words. He honestly has no idea what he would even say except apologising for barging into Chan’s room like that. Though he feels like an apology won’t cut it.

“Get out!” Chan screams, losing his patience. Kwangsun has never heard Chan yell before. “Get the hell out! Leave me alone!” He comes closer as though he’s planning to personally drag Kwangsun out of the room. Kwangsun nods hastily and rushes outside as quickly as possible. His heart is racing like crazy when the door slams shut behind him. The abstract painting on the wall next to Kwangsun trembles with the force of it.

“And fucking knock next time!”

[yongwaifu09]

Check it out

[kpoppwriter]

Hullo! Congrats on 6k!!! You totally deserve it heh. Can I request #8: 'You never thought a single phrase could break you so much' with any member from day6? I can't choose and I trust your intuition with this stuff! Also hope you're hyped for their subunit comeback 💙

❧ Synopsis: You never thought a single phrase could break you so much

❧ Genre: angsttttt

❧ Warning: it's angsty sorry

❧ A/N: I had to do Brian cause I couldn't think about the other boys in such an angsty scenario without getting sad

~※ 6K Drabble Masterlist ※~

"You know there's a lot of things I have to do in my profession that I may not like.”

"Yeah but we could have talked about this before I found out through Twitter."

You and Brian had been in a heated discussion about the dating rumor that came out about Brian and some other idol. Normally it wouldn't have been a problem if it hadn't been confirmed by JYPE. Brian - your boyfriend - had forgotten to inform you of his other partner.

"It's just a publicity stunt for our comebacks later this year, Y/N,” he sighed, “You know that."

"I do know that but what pisses me off is that you didn't tell me beforehand."

“Why do I have to tell you this? Why is it so important? You know I'm dating you and only you."

It took everything in you not to raise your voice. You knew you wouldn't get anywhere by yelling so you just took a breath and continued talking normally.

"Its important to me - to our relationship."

"You don't understand how complicated dating is as an idol.”

"Then talk to me. Don't bottle it up."

He was quiet for a moment. You could tell he was holding back his true emotions. Like he’s been doing for months. He was getting more and more distant with you and you could tell he'd lost feelings for you. This whole dating thing really was the last straw.

"You wouldn't understand."

"I want to understand! I want to make this relationship work!” you said in an exasperated tone

“This is too much, Y/N. This is just a fabricated relationship by our companies, okay?!” he let out a long sigh, "I didn't have a choice - I never did."

"Yes you did!" you finally yelled, "You had the choice to get into this relationship. You had the choice to talk to me when things started to get complicated. You had the choice to come tell me about this stunt but you chose to keep that all to yourself and build up all this resentment towards me instead!”

The silence that followed your words was deafening. Tears were fulling streaming down your face at this point. You didn't care how pathetic or crazy you looked. You were just broken. The guilt was evident on Brian's face, the sadness making his face look older. He reached a hand out towards you but you stopped him.

"Don't,” you choked back a sob, “Don't you dare."

He let his hand drop to his side. You were both too far gone now and you both knew this couldn't be fixed. And god, did that hurt.

[lemonietrinket]

Fragile Like Chandeliers ||| YoungK x Reader

Summary: You meet a truly intriguing man inside an expensive lounge on the job  Genre: Small bits of fluff but its weak bc its more sensual, some angst, uhhh??? idk    noir, gang Warning(s): very very vague references to injury/death Word Count: 2763  Song(s): Ambience AN: hey anon! sorry this took a little while :((  i also have... no idea if this was what you wanted. and its... also longer than my word limit that i put on my request notice. uh. oops. i tried to put some italian in there (for fake names of things) but i am not fluent and though i researched grammar, there are obviously many nuances to the language that i dont know so i apologise if they sound bad (feel free to correct me!)

fem!reader

~~~

Smooth jazz filtered through the swathes of people, bunched in small bouquets of dazzling jewels and shining gold. The low quartz-tinged lights kept the shadows in the corners, gently swaying to the beat as swept past, silver trays empty. 

You were perched quietly at the sidelines, crimson velvet plush beneath your draping onyx dress. Eyes flickering across the chandelier above, you couldn’t help but smile at the memories that arose. The Eiffel Tower had been so beautiful in that moment, reflected in a thousand crystals suspended in mid-collapse before they shattered into their oblivions.  Your fingertips traced across the emerald gem between your collarbones, settled comfortably between intricately carved swans. With their heads bowed and wings splayed they reminded you of home, a place you hadn’t set foot in for a long time. The aching rarely reared its head, but this evening it teased at your heartstrings in a way you would never admit to any other.

Well, perhaps maybe one.

As your attentions were briefly piqued at the sight of a man with a bellowing laugh, who strode past you with his arms wide and decorated with cufflinks made of silver knots, you had moved your feet to stand. However, that was when your keen eyes glanced back across the room, only to meet another pair. 

They were the eyes of a fox, ablaze with wit and narrowed in curiosity, and they stared you down and enraptured you in seconds. You found yourself glued to your spot and not giving a single damn about it, as the man bid his colleague a farewell and began to make his way towards you.

With a face that only a dream could make, the smile he gave a passerby who greeted him oozed confidence; the single nod of his head that followed knocking his effortlessly curled fringe ever-so-slightly into his eyes. It led him to run his hand through the tousled locks when he faced you again, and had you not been on the job you would have no doubt swooned.

The man was clearly something special—his suit crafted of ambrosia, a clean cut jet besides pristine white, paired with dress shoes that shone as he reached where you were sat. 

You peered up at him silently, waiting to hear the voice that fell from those plush lips.

“Good evening,” he greeted.

And boy was it luscious. 

You responded in kind, consciously making your eyes bigger as he extended a palm gently towards you. “Might I take you for a dance?”

After a few seconds pretending to mull it over, you let your hand slip into his. He helped you to your feet all while you were too focused on the rough pads of his fingers stroking the back of your palms. 

He led the pair of you to the small area sectioned off for dancing near the live band. Passing a few other couples already swinging with the saxophone’s melody, you were captivated by how he effortlessly weaved the two of you to the centre.

All he’d said had been ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ but somehow it had eased anyone in the vicinity and made them move away with no less than a grin and ushered laughter.

He was remarkable. And if it turned out he wasn’t what you were looking for, you would be stunned.

Coming to a stop, he stood broadly before you. With a hand caressing down to your waist before settling there as if it had always meant to be, you entwined your fingers with his other as you felt across his shoulder blade.  His sensuality was thrilling, the closeness of your chest to his sending your heartbeat into irregular motion, and you had to admit he was talented.

“So,” he began, voice low and smooth like the late evening wine sipped in candlelight, “what must I call this gorgeous beauty before me?”

Lip unconsciously teasing between your teeth, you simpered. “You first.”

A smirk formed on his lips. “Younghyun.”

“Y/N.”

“Ah, a perfect name for a perfect lady.” He took the lead and you let him, following his slow sways with small steps of your own. “And a perfect voice too—there’s an accent there, if I’m not mistaken?”

“There may be,” you replied coyly, “Italian, born and raised.”

His smile brightened, “I’ve always wanted to visit Italy. The views, the food, the music...” he stopped himself with what could only be described as a sheepish laugh, “sorry, I’m probably preaching to the choir here.”

“It’s fine! I miss all of that quite often nowadays.”

Your grip tightened while your heart lurched. Attempting to keep yourself under control, you hid your disdain behind a smile. How had you let yourself slip up like that? Since when did you wear your feelings on your cheek for a man you only just met? 

As the song changed and the tempo quickened, Younghyun twirled you round by your fingers. “So what brings you all this way here, to one of the most exclusive bars in Seoul?”

“Why, do I not look like I fit in?” you enquired. 

As he pulled you back to his chest, he stayed quiet for a few moments, his eyes carefully taking in the curve of your cheeks. “I’ll be absolutely honest with you,” he glanced around the room before coming back to look you in the eye, “you’re too good to fit in here.”

“I am?” You were hanging off his words, and despite your rational brain reminding you that he was just smooth talking, the way small butterflies began to send ripples through your chest had you very nearly believing him. It was as if that emerald upon your neck carried no weight at all.

“Of course.” His response was quick, sincere, and slowly the heaviness returned. You could feel it swaying a beat behind your movements together.

“I’m here to get away,” you finally explained, eyes lowering from his and focusing on his bow tie. It was spotless, folded crisply at his collar, and for a split second you wondered if it too pressed at his neck. “I’m a writer but... life can be so restricting, you know? How can I write about lives when I haven’t lived myself?”

The words slipped easily off your tongue, and you felt the tension leave your shoulders. Meanwhile, when you gazed up again, you found his smile tinged with sadness.

“I understand that. Sometimes what you end up in isn’t what you want,” he said. 

Confidence filling your veins, you slipped your fingers from his and ran your hands to interlock behind his neck. “I’m so glad you get me,” you whispered in his ear, “no one really does.” Closing the distance, you rested your head against his chest, face turned away from his knowing eyes that seemed to cut into you.

It was only a matter of seconds before Younghyun’s hands both swept to the small of your back, cradling you gently.  You pondered upon how he looked at you right then, as your eyes watched the couple beside you. They were in the same position as the two of you, swaying with the dwindling music. When they caught a beam of light as they turned, you saw how old they were, time etching at the corners of their eyes, giving them permanent eye-smiles. The man in question was truly beaming however, at the woman in his arms. He had a knowing glint in his eye, something you simultaneously wished you knew and were happy to not know the context to—without it, after all, they stayed painted in silver. The woman, much shorter and spindly in her old frock—you imagined it was the one she wore at the last wedding she attended—seemed so content, her lips mouthing the words to an unknown song, her feet moving in synchrony with his.

Her eyes were closed, you noted, and once you had done there was no going back. You turned your head the other way, your own gaze remaining wide open.

“Enough about me, what job do you do?” you asked, loud enough to be heard without moving, but it was pointless, as his answer came back as a teasing retort.

“What do you think I do?”

You shifted your head to come face to face with him again. You were so close to his lips it would only take seconds to bridge the gap, and the apprehension hurt. “I don’t know. Something dashing.”

“Oh really? How come?” His smirk had returned, mischief glimmering in his eye much like the chandelier lights did, urging you to say out loud what you only intended to infer. 

Cocky bastard, you thought, smile growing as you spoke. “Because someone as handsome as you could only do something dashing. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair.”

As the saxophone picked up behind him, you moved your head to settle upon his shoulder, snickering as he whispered into your ear. 

“There it is...!” 

You playfully tugged at the hair at his nape to chide him. “Come on, tell me, what’s your job?”

He seemed momentarily distracted, before brushing off your words with a laugh. “Trust me, it’s not as interesting as you think.”

“How could it not be interesting?” you countered, leaning in closer to his neck so that your breath would flutter across his skin there, “you wouldn’t do it otherwise.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” he retorted, swinging you round and pulling you back so your shoulders met his chest, “you’ve only just met me.”

“And sometimes a chance meeting is all it takes,” you uttered, running your fingertips down the backs of his hands at your waist. With your head turned towards him, but your eyes remaining apart, you swayed your hips with his as you continued, “I’ve seen many faces, Younghyun, I think I know people well now. And you have the face of someone who knows so much and yet hasn’t said a word.”

You got no words in direct answer to the ramble of ones you had procured. Instead he spun you back around so that he could take another good look at you, and he drank in your beauty as if he were a dying man. His lips parted to speak hours before he finally did.  “How much more do you know about me?” he eased through a coy smile.

“I don’t know,” you hummed, tracing the line of his tie with the back of your finger, “why don’t we find out?”

Your boldness earnt a single laugh, your dance partner silent before he adjusted his grip at your waist. One hand shifted up your back and held you close in an embrace, before he gently lowered you back. You held onto his shoulder as well as his gaze, as he followed you into the dip.  With lips millimetres away from yours, you had been certain he would close the gap, and press a kiss where he’d been hinting for the entire night. His eyes fluttered down to the sight of your painted lips, then back up to your curious stare. “Shall we get drinks?”

You beamed. “Sure.”

Lifting you back to your feet, his hand never left the small of your back as he guided you towards the bar, back across the lounge. You stuck close to his side to avoid the clusters of crowds as the grew and punctured the sensual melodies of the band.  Tucked by his shoulder, a sense of peace washed over you. When there was a sudden crash of spilled drinks to your right you didn’t even take a glimpse of it in, and instead kept your head low and inclined towards your partner of the night. 

You reached the bar in no time, and the only time he left your side was to minutely slip ahead, to pull a bar stool out for you to sit upon. 

Sending him a teasing eye roll you giggled at his silent gasp of exaggerated disdain, before he sat beside you. With his body facing you, he leant on an elbow until the bartender came over.

“Sir, madam,” she greeted with a polite smile, “what can I get for you?”

“Bokbunja for me please, and for the lady,” he addressed you with a smile, “drinks on me, what would you like?”

“No, it’s ok, I wouldn’t want to cost you—”

“Oh, Y/N, you could cost me the world and I wouldn’t care,” Younghyun interrupted, 

You considered continuing with the humble act, but truth be told you didn’t have the patience for it, and you were pretty sure it wasn’t necessary. If that wasn’t an expression of a hooked man, then you no longer knew what was. 

You scoured the towers of intricate bottles behind the bartender, hued amber through to olive and deep magenta. They were oddly beautiful, catching the light not unlike a thousand crystalline shards, muted by their labels written in calligraphic ink.

Making eye contact with the bartender, the corner of your lips easing into a tiny smile while you ordered, “Well, if you’re so sure. Segreto Classico, please.”

The woman’s stare widened, her smile becoming rigid as she glanced at the man at your side. You followed her stare a few moments later, once she’d stepped away with a nod of her head to make the drinks. You languidly drew your eyes up and across Younghyun’s figure. It was as if he was made for tuxedos, his clean cut jacket lining his chest perfectly and accentuating his shoulders. Now that he wasn’t touching you, your hazy thoughts began to playfully contemplate if he was real at all. 

You found him frowning at his phone quizzically. “Everything ok?” you asked, leaning upon the counter to try and get a better look at his face. 

He did a double take to the bartender and then finally to you, a dispassionate grin covering his lips. “Oh, yeah it’s all good, I’ve just... got to take this call, if that’s alright?”

“Oh, no problem, I’ll be right here waiting for you,” you settled your chin upon your hand at that moment, though he didn’t appear to catch your sultry display as he smiled blankly, before raising his phone to his ear and walking towards the balcony. 

You watched him leave, the energy of the room dipping as he melded with the crowds. 

You were brought out from your vacant stare and spiralling thoughts by a a sudden clink to your side. Snapping your head over, you found your drink placed by your elbow, the lace design in the glass shimmering in the dim lights. The bartender meanwhile glared at you while she poured the second drink.

“You shouldn’t order that so blatantly,” she scolded, “you know full well that the drink isn’t on the—”

“And you think a member of la Giarda would drink anything else?” you interjected bluntly, taking your glass into your hands and swirling the ice amidst the clear liquid. The mint scent wafted around you and slowly cleared your mind, leading you to recount in your head what had occurred mere moments prior as if weeks had passed. 

The bartender shushed you urgently, but her tension didn’t travel across the counter. 

“Relax,” you urged with a snicker and knowing look, “no one knows the name here. He hasn’t got a clue. I’ll gather the information without a hitch don’t you worry.”

The woman places the second glass, taller and more simple than yours, in front of the empty bar stool. “You better not blow my cover,” she mumbled sulkily.

“You know I won’t,” you iterated, taking a sip and letting the electrifying taste sink in as you watched where he had disappeared off to.

“Because we’re only going to get one shot at this, so he better be—”

“He’s the right guy,” you snapped. 

And just as your glare dwindled, the crowds parted to reveal Younghyun, phone tucked back in his pocket and expression back to life. You caught his eye once again, and in an echo of the first time, you were captivated once again. This time however, in a different way.

As he approached, you felt a jab to your heart, like twisting glass. The newfound clarity had left you open and vulnerable, and here he offered the blow without knowing. 

When the chandelier cast dappled lights fraught with shadows and curtailed amber across his handsome face, all you could see was the suspended chandelier shattering to the ground. The shards finally experiencing their fate as time caught up with them. 

You didn’t want him to end like that too.

~~~

AN: i took a fair bit of inspiration from noir films, so i apologise if you don’t wear dresses/heels

Masterlist

[kpop---scenarios]

Don't Break Me Again

Commissioned by: @skittlez-area512​

Pairing: Younghyun x Reader 

Wanrning: Just Pure Angst 

Word Count: 2.4k 

"Who was that?" You ask Younghyun,  trying to force a smile as you approach him, watching another girl try to slyly slip away.  

"The girl I'm going home with after the show, likely my future wife." He says, his face straight, his eyes lacking any humor. He places his guitar strap over his head as he gets ready to step on stage.

"W-what?" You ask, the tears building in your eyes.

"I'm just kidding babe, christ." He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

Before you can respond, he runs on stage, ready to melt hundreds  more of girls' hearts.

It took you a few days to be able to fully let go of his comment.

He was joking, at least that's what he told you later that night. You were being dramatic and overly sensitive again, you didn't trust him and he didn't know if he could be with someone as insecure as you, so you told him fine. You packed a week's worth of clothes and headed to a friend's house.

5 days later he called, begging for you to come home. He apologized profusely, promising he was going to change.

You needed to ask him a question that night that you returned, but you were scared. More so scared of his reaction but also his answer. With Younghyun it really could be anything.

"You.. you weren't with anyone while I was gone, were you?" You asked nervously. You and Younghyun sat on the couch, cuddling.

"God no. Why would you even ask that? I spent the entire time missing you baby. I'm so sorry for everything. You deserve more, I'll be the man you need." He whispers, pulling you in closely.

And you believed him. You believed all of it. Until you found a pair of dark purple panties shoved in between the mattress and box spring a few days later.

And they definitely weren't yours.

"What the fuck is this, Younghyun?" You scream, throwing the panties you had found at him.

"Why are you throwing your underwear at me and screaming like a mad woman?" He snaps, placing his guitar case on the floor. "I just fucking got home and you start this shit already."

"I'm starting this shit? You said you weren't with anyone while I was gone!" You cried. Your heart felt like it was going to shatter.

"So fucking what if I was! You weren't here. What else was I supposed to do?" He spits. "I let you have your little tantrums, you run off and do god knows what, with who knows who while you're gone."

"I sit inside and I cry! Because I love you! And I want us to work! And you're out fucking whatever?" You scoff, unamused.

Younghyun scoffs. " I'm just trying to play catch up, whenever I get the chance baby. We all have a past, some more than others." He smirks, looking you up and down, and not in a lovingly way, no. This was a judgemental, disgusted look.

A look that you were no stranger too when it came to Younghyun.

"Wow." You sniffled, rolling your eyes. "Not even surprised you'd end up going there with a line like that." You laugh, no humor to be found anywhere. "I'm done." You whisper.

**

That night you end up at your best friend, Jaein's house. She's always had a particular distaste for Younghyun, or as she calls him, Brian.

"He's a piece of mother fucking shit babydoll, and you deserve someone who is not a giant man baby piece of shit. That's all I'm saying." She says, shrugging her shoulders before taking a large sip of wine.

If there was anyone you could truly count on, it was Jaein. She never failed to make you laugh, brightening your spirits after Younghyun so viciously tore them down, even though it wasn't her job to fix it.

She always told you how much you were worth and how much you should see it, but she knew you loved him.

Fuck did you love him.

She always took your side when you came to her about your fights, she shit talked him like there was no tomorrow, but she also never tried to convince you to leave him. She knew you weren't ready, she also knew that you would leave him when you were ready. She always gave you a hug when you said it was time for you to go back to him, never pressuring you to stay.

She knew no one could leave him for you.

Early that next morning, you left Jaein's and headed back to your shared apartment with Younghyun. You opened the front door, slipped off your shoes, jacket and hat while making your way to the bedroom.

You unbutton your jeans, sliding them down your body before stepping out. You stood at the edge of your bed where Younghyun slept so peacefully.

You knew you needed to end it but you were unbelievably, unequivocally in love with him. You would do anything for him, be anything for him and he knew it.

You just wished he felt the same about you.

You constantly asked yourself why you stoll stayed, why you put yourself through the torture of knowing theres almost a 100 percent chance he will never love you as hard and as much as you love him. You needed to be done. But how can you quit something you need so badly?

You knew he was able to love, you've seen it. He loved his guitar. He loved his music, and he loved his groupies that followed him from small dive bars to even bigger dive bars. He loved the attention that he received from those women, any woman really that wasn't you. In his mind because you couldn't make it to every show, you weren't as dedicated as them. You didn't love him more than them. You didn't support his music enough. Telling him you were working was never a valid reason to not be there to support his dreams even though you were pretty sure he didn't even know what your dreams were.

You were done.

You just wished he wouldn't break you again. And again. And again.

But that seemed to be the thing he was best at.

This time you were actually going to be done. You needed to be done. You couldn't keep chasing him around, waiting and praying that one day he might decide to settle down. One day he might decide you're finally worthy of his unconditional love since he's put you through so much.

One day you might be good enough.

You crawled into bed with him, his arms slipping over your body before pulling you in tightly against him. He nuzzles his face into your head, deeply inhaling the scent of your hair.

"I've missed you." He sighs.

A tear slips down your cheek as you wiggle yourself closer to him.

"Really hope you didn't go fuck some dude last night like a whore." He huffs.

You can't do this anymore.

Now Y/N. Do it now.

"I'm done, Younghyun." You whisper.

"Stop." He groans. "Don't ruin a perfectly good morning."

"I'm not. I just can't anymore." You sigh, wiggling out of his hold.

"Where the fuck is this coming from?" He snaps, sitting up in bed before rubbing his face. "Fucking Jaein is getting in your head again isnt she?"

"No, I'm finally realizing it myself. You tear me down, and build me back up only to tear me down harder next time. You don't care about me. You constantly throw it in my face that I have a past and think I'm always cheating, but that's all you. You think I don't care about your music because I don't attend every show, you crave the attention from random women, not to mention who knows how many times you actually cheated." You snap. "I'm done being treated like I'm the lowest scum when I've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. I've done nothing but love you and support you but it's never good enough for you Younghyun. I will never be good enough so I'm done." You sigh.

"Please don't baby. You're my world. I love you so much, let me prove it to you baby." He cries. Boy was he an excellent manipulator.

"You've had an abundant amount of chances and you've fucked them all up. Save it." Younghyun begged and pleaded for you to stay while he followed you around the apartment as you gathered up the belongings you could think of at that moment, the most important things. You knew you could come back in a few weeks or so to grab whatever you forgot. Because this time was it, this time you were done.

Looking over your shoulder, you see Younghyun's pained face as your hand reaches for the door knob. "If you walk out that door Y/N, I swear to god, I'm done. I won't ask for you back, you'll have lost me forever." He snaps.

"You've already lost me." You whisper, gently closing the door behind you.

**

A few weeks later, it still felt like your chest was going to cave in. Like your heart was going to glue itself back together before shattering into a million pieces, over and over.

You cried into Jaein's pillow everyday, all day. You missed him so much. Maybe it wasn't time, maybe things could be better this time.

Younghyun had texted, called and showed up to Jaein's apartment everyday. His messages came multiple times a day, his calls even more. Your heart slowly mended itself with every loving message you read, with every soft word you heard him speak through your voicemail. He sounded sincere this time. He sounded like he was going to try, this time would be different. Maybe the 11th time's the charm.

You took a few days to think it over, making sure it was truly what you wanted, and it was. Not to necessarily get back together with him at the moment, but just to see him. See him perform, listen to his voice. You missed everything about him.

This was a good idea.

Or so you thought.

Jaein kept her mouth shut as you made sure your outfit was perfect. Younghyun had told you he had a gig tonight at one of the first bars you met at. You didn't tell him you were going to come, you wanted to surprise him.

"I wish you all the luck with Brian, babydoll." He forces a smile.

"Thank you. For everything." You smile. "I'll see you in a bit."

For the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful. Younghyun promised to spend more time with you, go to anger management, and couples counseling. All things he had never promised before.

He was trying. He was finally trying.

You smiled widely as you pulled the door open to the bar.

Your eyes looked hopeful as you tried to find Younghyun. They widen as you spot him laughing. You can hear the sound of his laugh in your head.

Making your way over to him, you rehearse in your head about what you're going to say to him, wondering if he'll hug you, swing you around, plant a kiss on your lips?

You're distracted as you approach him, the possibility of so much happiness blinding you. When you finally came too, you stopped dead in your tracks. Younghyun laughed as he wrapped an arm around a girl, leaning in closely to whisper something in her ear, making her giggle. Their eyes met, he slightly grips her chin to tilt her head up before leaning down to place his lips on hers.

After a few seconds, they break apart, smiling at eachother. He feels like they're being watched so he raises his eyes,scanning the room. He lands on you. You with the shocked face, hurt eyes and heavy breathing.

You were so fucking stupid. You should have known better. You did know better. Younghyun had never changed, he had always said he would but never did. What made this time any different? Nothing except you had hoped so fucking hard that this time it was it. This time he would love you properly.

You let out loud laughs/ scoff before turning around to run out the doors you had just so excitedly came in.

"Y/N wait!" Younghyun yells, leaving the girl behind to chase you.

You run through the door to the outside, where it's now pouring rain.

Of course.

"Y/N, please!" He yells, catching up to you. He grabs onto your arm, yanking you back. "Just wait!." He yells.

"What!?" You scream, pulling your arm away from him. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You weren't supposed to show up tonight. You weren't supposed to see that." He sighs.

"Oh." You laugh. "So its my fault for showing up, hoping to fix us, and not your fault for being a piece of shit who just can't keep it in his pants."

The rain pours harder, you and Younghyun stand face to face, water dripping down your bodies.

"You didn't return any of my calls or texts. What was I supposed to do?" He asks. "It's been like a month."

"Wow." You scoff. That's all you can say.

"How long after I left did you start seeing her?" You ask.

"Four days." He admits.

"F-four.. four days? You only waited four fucking days? I'm so fucking stupid. You will never not be a self centered piece of shit will you?" You laugh.

"Excuse me? What the fuck gives you the right to insult me? How's a used up whore like you any better." He laughs.

"Yeah, okay. This just sealed it. I'm done." You say, turning to walk away again.

"You're done because I'm saying you can be done. Got it? Because I'm tired of manipulating you. I'm ready for someone new." He smiles.

"What are you talking about?" You ask.

"I've never loved you, frankly never really liked you. You were just too easy. Too easy to manipulate, to easy string along like a little puppet. I could completely tear you down until you were nothing and say all the right things to build you back up. You're easy to read, easy to fuck, just all around easy. I need a bit of a challenge now." He smirks, patting your shoulder before walking away, leaving you standing in the rain, thinking about the words you'd never recover from.

[smolbeanieee]

[16:50]

You lifted your head upon seeing a familiar silhouette standing beside you along with scattered paper works and laptop that has been accompany you for straight 4 hours.

“You looks like you need to take a break. Take this” housemate!Younghyun said as he hands over a cup of coffee to you—gesturing for you to take his offer

“Thanks“ You softly mumbles—taking the cup into your hands,taking a sip of it and put it aside as your fingers swiftly back to typing on the keyboard—trying to complete your tons of works quickly.

Younghyun chuckles in disbelief upon seeing you too focusing on your works until you forgot to takecare of yourself—making him worried deep down in his heart.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

can you do how can i say + young k? ❤️

On some level, you had figured it out a long time ago, but you refused to accept the truth, holding onto the hope that he’d come around, that the years of romance and all the struggles you’ve been through accounted for something, that you can’t come down from a love that intense.

You suppose that makes you a complicit party in this. You’ve willfully strung him along when you knew how he really felt because you aren’t prepared to lose him yet. You ignore the way he closes his eyes just a little bit too tight when you kiss him. You pretend to not notice that he hasn’t said ‘I love you’ back in so long. You pretend that the nervousness he feels around you come from a fluttering heart and not guilty one.

He never wanted to hurt you, you know that. He’s been hurt one too many times before. He’s written entire albums about it, and you know he thought he’d never inflict that same pain on somebody else, but now he knows better. Yes, you’ve been quite the sobering experience for him, something he’ll look back on and remember to be a little kinder to those he feels have wronged him, because here he was about to shatter your heart after he’d promised you to always keep it safe.

You don’t say anything when he tells you that you need to break up. You just smile and nod, turning your back on him and the love you’ve worked years on and all his worried pleas.

It was a sweet romance. The best you’ll ever have, but it was all for nothing, and your heart is too broken now to hold his together.

[smileyyoungchan]

Callin’- P.S.J.

SungJin x reader

Song for this one: Callin’ - Super Junior

Genre: Angst

Warning: none I think, but let me know if I missed something

Summary: SungJin falls out of love, or at least that’s what he thinks

Two hours ago.

That’s when Sungjin walked out of your shared apartment.

Since that moment you sat on the couch, trying to call his phone- that he left on his bed table- while he was walking, walking and walking.

He didn’t even knew where he was heading to, he just felt the need to clear his mind, his thoughts.

‘Is it all over?’ It was the only question he had on his mind.

He then came to the conclusion it really was over, your relationship, but he just didn’t wanted to admit it cause he was just so used to stay beside you, that his life just didn’t made any sense without you in it.

But then again, why was he feeling like he really had to end everything?

When his watch showed ‘10pm’ and the lights on every single house was on, SungJin decided to come back home, with more questions in his head, and possibly any answer.

The door opened and you jumped up from the couch.

“SungJin!” You half screamed, ready to hug him.

He wasn’t a person who loved physical touch, and you learned to read his behaviour before he even said anything. And that’s why, that time, you understood he wasn’t in the mood for an hug.

You slowly retired your arms and watched as he took off his shoes and jacket.

“You stayed awake” he said then, facing you.

“Of course, I was worried about you”

Wasn’t it obvious?

He wouldn’t have done the same?

“I have to talk to you” he slowly said, his eyes fixed on yours.

You felt your stomach drop, cause his expression promised nothing good.

“O-okay” you said in a whisper, not really sure of your own words.

He lead you to the couch, where he sat down, and once you’ve done the same, he took your hand.

He stared at your connected hands for a while and chuckled.

“I like the way your hand fits in mine” his smile was bright, but his eyes- that he didn’t even dared to place on anything else if not your hands- were sad.

“SungJin, what’s the matter?” He surely didn’t want to talk about your hands size.

He looked up, and he wished he never did that.

How he was supposed to tell you everything, when you looked at him like he was your entire life?

SungJin wasn’t even able to find the right words.

Was he supposed to make it sweet for you to take?

Was he supposed to go straight to the point?

But the most question he had was: how he was supposed to react when you were going to cry?

Cause he hated seeing you crying, and he had always been ready to fight whatever made you sad, but this time the reason behind your sadness was going to be him.

He was never going to forgive himself for that.

“I don’t love you anymore” he said, quietly.

“What?” You asked, in disbelief.

SungJin was too good for you, that’s what you always thought, but you two worked out pretty well.

“I said-

“I don’t need you to say that again” you tried to break every contact your body had with his, but he didn’t let you take off your hand.

“Please listen to what I have to say” he begged.

His eyes were teary as well, but your were a complete mess.

“Leave me alone”

“No, I-

“SungJin, please, leave me alone” you asked again.

He understood. He woke up, went to grab his phone and then took another quick glance at you.

“I’m at YoungHyuns if you need me” he said.

That was the last time you saw him.

SungJin cared about you too much and always asked your friends how you were doing.

“Bad- Jae once said to him- but she’s trying to recovering”

That broke his heart.

He was too selfish, and for his own good he destroyed your relationships.

He wasn’t happy anymore, but now he made you unhappy.

How he wished to turn back time and fix everything, but it wasn’t possible, and he knew it too damn well.

He also knew you were stubborn- a side he always loved about you- but this time he wished you weren’t, cause he knew if he tries to talk to you, your stubbornness wouldn’t have let him.

SungJin always dreamed of you, how your hair glowed on a sunny day, how your smile always reaches your eyes, and the way they squinted, how your voice reminded him of his favorite melody, how your hand caressed his cheek when he was about to fall asleep, and you stared him like he was your favorite piece of art.

He still loved you, he just realised that too late.