#Yuri’s his first ‘friend’

[b0tsbby]

Tales of Vesperia’s lost: Zagi as a misunderstood antagonist

Spoilers for the Definitive Edition of Tales of Vesperia!

Disclaimer: This is my opinion on evidence and lore found in the game. This is not a comprehensive guide on how to view the game or it’s characters. I just live here.

Up in the abandoned halls of Tarqaron, my first thought when seeing a barely standing, Blastia poisoned Zagi was “I’m going to miss him”. It was almost a joke at first. After so many fights with him, I got used to having Zagi show up in the most obscure places. He was weird, sure, but he became such a constant of the team’s journey. I could always count on him to show up, eventually.

It was only after my last fight with Zagi that those words started to mean a little more to me. For the first time, it clicked. He wasn’t ever coming back. For the first time Zagi was truly gone.

And I have issues with how the following scene played out. It felt so dismissive to hear Yuri and the others reduce Zagi to simply being ‘crazy’. It felt like something was missing, like an entire plot point or development was shoved under the rug, kinda like Raven’s pretty rushed reunion upon Heracles.

That’s when the skits that followed with Raven, Rita and Judith really solidified it for me. Zagi, beyond what was initially just another inconvenience for Yuri, is a tragic character. A character that meant a lot more to the themes of the game then it let itself realise.

Okay so, there’s not much we learn about Zagi’s background, and his path in game is somewhat sporadic. First we can deduce at some point he was in leagues with Leviathan’s Claw, working as an assassin to take a hit on Flynn where he meets Yuri instead. We see him again on Ragou’s ship, where for some reason, his ties to Leviathan’s claw are broken and he now works under Ragou and Barbos. We meet him again on his own in the Coliseum, aboard Heracles and finally Tarqaron. The most logical deduction is after Zagi’s meeting with Yuri, the assassin deflects from his former guild and mission entirely to pursue Yuri. Every choice he makes from then on, even the alteration of his body with Blastia, is for Yuri.

I’m gonna backtrack a little to talk about the other character that I feel Zagi behaved as a character foil to, that character being none other than Yuri himself. Morality, justice and the weight of one’s choices are some of the big themes that drive Tales of Vesperia’s narrative, and murder as a resort is not one too steep for both the story and Yuri, though Yuri is still at a stage where he feels the burden of death upon him. Murder is a last resort and he doesn’t actively enjoy having to take Cumore and Ragou’s lives. It’s this blood on Yuri’s hands that drives him to isolate and think less of himself. It’s these choices he’s made that way so heavily on him, making him believe he’s better off facing the world alone and not accepting the trust and support of Brave Vesperia and co.

And it’s in Yuri that we can understand Zagi better. There’s no mention of how or why Zagi became an assassin or how he came to realise he’s so good at carrying out the role. In the end though, he is one. There’s a lot of blood on Zagi’s hands and Yuri only serves as a small window to what effect that may have on him.

Furthermore, Zagi’s alone as far as we know. There’s not a single mention of another character he could be fighting for, or someone who maybe drove him to this path.

To put it all together, I believe in two possible instances regarding Zagi’s past:

One, he’s a character unfortunate enough to have had to make similar choices as Yuri, but alone. The guilt and possible trauma of it all could have been too much for him to handle, turning fighting and the act of killing, the very things that broke him, into some twisted, unhealthy coping mechanism. Realising he’d never be accepted again for the choices he’s made, Zagi resorted to putting meaning into this singular act, becoming exceptional, and making it his sole reason for being.

Then there’s two, perhaps Zagi was just ‘crazy with power’ , like the game suggests, from the start. Maybe the thrill of fighting is just something he’s always enjoyed (sounds like a character I’ve already mentioned). Maybe it had all been Zagi’s prime interest from the start, so much so that he became exceptional at fighting. Too exceptional.

So in a world where Zagi was viewed more as a threat for his talent or interest, with no else to turn to, he turned to a life where his existence would be valued, accepted. The life of an assassin.

But that’s all speculation, of course.

Let’s take a look at those respective skits again, starting with Rita and Judiths’s in “Zagi - Part 2”.

Where the brunt of Zagi’s misunderstood character lies ,I think, is in this loneliness. He has nothing left to put meaning into besides fighting. It’s brought up after his last encounter, and not just in the skits. I found it interesting how even Rita here, draws a parallel between her obsession with Blastia and Zagi’s obsession with , well, his work. They’re both characters with incredible talent, and they’re both characters who seemingly know how alienating it is to be talented, to be too good at something. The joy of being the best at what you do can only last for so long, before one craves a challenge again, or more so in this case an ‘equal’ .

We get more talk about this whole idea of equals in ‘Zagi’s End’.

I’m glad Raven brings up the other antagonists in this skit, specifically making a point of how Zagi is different. Zagi’s the unfortunate case out of the three that found his equal (In Yuri) but his equal ‘turned out to be his enemy.’ The skit goes on to explain his cryptic statement.

So Raven’s specifically talking about friends or allies. Friends strong enough to ‘keep their power from distorting them’. People who’ll support and simultaneously keep you in check. (This distantly referencing the very close relationship Yuri and Flynn have).

It’s safe to say then that Zagi’s simply never had that, or hasn’t had that in a while. Companionship, love and friendship are things he’s clearly never experienced for a long time, and things he’s clearly forgotten how to pursue. So Zagi cherishes the distorted affection he has for Yuri, his ‘equal’, because it’s the closest thing he’s felt to companionship in years.

Zagi to me, represents a sort of ‘what-if’ Yuri that simply had to face the world alone, a Yuri corrupted by the weight of his choices. A character so far gone that longed for something he’d tragically never have or experience.

Gonna end off with my favourite quote from ‘Zagi’s End’:

I think everyone in the team has dealt with their fair share of loneliness, heck, it’s the only link between all their pasts! So I especially got emotional when Raven said this.

The world can be cruel, and each one of them will have to make difficult decisions, have to face inner demons, if they haven’t already. But they’ll be alright. They have love. They have each other.

[themintman]

N e ways here's Jack's actual design for the au I posted about the other day lmao

Love this sorrowful lizard.

[yuriyaoijesus]

doodle dump >____< Yay

[scalematey]

honestly my most boring dungeon meshi take is that farcille is a fact of the narrative but also not as uniquely romantic as its fans make it out to be. like everyone is like "oooh its so special that marcille put her bones back together" and it's like. laios was there too? he was there too. did you forget he was there, and also participated

[souvenirmp3]

dw girlires i have a confession to make i know a lot of you love 12th doctor but i know i will never be able to watch those seasons normally and one of the main reasons is that peter capaldi looks just like my shit father and im saying he literally looks so much like him has the same mannerisms and facial expressions to the point that its very uncanny to watch him yell :)

[chiisana-lion]

five more hours.....................

[mazojo]

What's yuri's personality then? Being gay?

About Minho, being mean and making mean two liners towards Kitty every in between?

ma'am this is a McDonalds drive thru

[lonelywhalien22]

xo kitty final post of thoughts (I promise) in the tags below if anyone cares and then imma dissapear into the void again and go back to trying to write my own sh-t lol 😆

[lannisterdaddyissues]

I love reading your replies and brainrot tags! It motivates me a lot and I will keep drawing for this! Thank you so much 😭 baby!Bradley will be such a cutie! He likes baby!Jake but doesn't want to admit it gshags, I keep wondering who can be Bond then my friend said Hondo and omg inagine a big doggo, so huggable 🌷 icemav chemistry remains the same hahaha with Mav and his horrible cooking and Ice being a perfect husbando 🌷 both love their little family! (Also imagine Cyclone in a tennis battle with Mav and witnesses him cut a tennis ball into pieces lol)

NGHNSFHJGFAHJf oh my GODDD hondo as bond is so cute wtf 🥺i am LIVING for this, he does have such huggable energy and he and mav would still have that friendship that transcends human and dog communication…

NOT CYCLONE AS FIONA THOUGH you are such an evil genius for that, i can’t get the mental image of cyclone in an ugly wig and tennis dress out of my head now 💀 god help me

[astrxealis]

what theme :(( hmm

[oukabarsburgblr]

YARICCHIN BITCH CLUB X MALE READER [SMUT ONESHOT]

FEATURING : AKEMI, TAMURA, KASHIMA, TOONO, Itome, Yuri, Shikatani x male reader

Note : [UPPERCASE] are focused ships, [lowercase] are less/not focused.

When the club finds out the captain of the Morimori Private Academy Volleyball Team is a virgin, a very pursued and hot person in the school, to which they invite him to the club's exclusive gangbang!

6.6k words. Smut, con, slight dubcon, multiple cylinders and overstimulation. 18+ only.

Find out more under the cut!

"Ah..."

The (h/c) stared down at Akemi Keiichi, the club president of the infamous Yaribu at his school, who had been gleaming up at him. (m/n) who had been pulled out of his practice at the request of the blonde, the sounds of volleyball being slammed on the court rang behind them as they stood outside the gym.

Akemi wasn't alone however. He had dragged two of his members along with him. One of which (m/n) had been acquainted, the other seemed like a first year. "(m/n)-senpai you look as ugly as ever." Tamura cursed at the hot third year who was in a compression shirt, albeit a bit sweaty from his practice but it only accentuated his charm. The captain just stared at the blue-haired male before turning to Akemi.

"I didn't really catch your question properly...mind saying it again?" Well (m/n) did. He just wanted to make sure. Due to the question itself being a load of bullcrap.

Akemi nodded. "Of course, (m/n)-chan! A little birdie had told us that you are still a cute pristine little virgin! Would you like to join our gangbang to pop your cherry?" The blonde smiled at him, virgins are his favourite after all, as he made a gesture with his fingers of fucking a hole.

(m/n) dreaded at the thought of the news of his virginity spreading. His volleyball freshman juniors had asked if he had a lover or not, and he responded no, also adding the fact that he had never had done it. It had slipped and (m/n) didn't think of it much but alas, the idea of the infamous captain who had brought the team to new heights had remained pure and untouched had brought attention to his abundant fans, and it had reached the ears of the Yaribu Club.

Now, he was standing outside the volleyball gyms with three members of the lewd club asking him to join in their gangbang event. The (h/c) remained silent and rubbed his tired eyes at the outrageous invite.

"You can decline, (m/n)-senpai! If you're not okay with it." The third member had chirped, as he had remained silent in the conversation. He had a deeper blue to his messy locks, darker than Tamura's. "...and you are?"

"Kashima Yuu. I'm a first year." Kashima bowed to his senpai. His heart jumping at the fact that the infamous (m/n) had asked for his name as he revelled at the fact that he had managed to speak (as little as he did) to the (h/c). "...I'm (m/n) (l/n), third year."

And he's humble too? With such a nice voice. Kashima smiled shyly, overexxagerating (m/n)'s introduction. "Kashima-kun! You're supposed to coax him!" Akemi shook his junior's shoulders as Tamura cackled at the obvious blush and crush of Kashima on the (h/c).

(m/n) just stayed silent and left the premise quietly, locking the gym doors as well as he continued practice. There was banging on the door as Akemi yelled at him to come out. His vice-captain asked out of concern but (m/n) told him to ignore the idiots.

-

"You guys never know when to quit, huh?"

Again, the (h/c) stared down at a pleading, bowing male before him. Another member of the Yaribu Club had approached him right as he was about to go to volleyball practice. And here they were alone in the class hallways, the sun still at its peak in the midday.

These past few days have been an annoyance to the volleyball player. Akemi had been long friends with the (h/c), ever since their first year together and has been aware of the Yaricchin Bitch Club's activities and purpose but he has never indulged in that side in particular.

Had Akemi ever proposed to? Ever so slightly but not this bold of an attempts. This new kid in front of him explained that the short blonde had proposed a reward to those who could bring (m/n) into their clubroom. The required five customer service quota would be cut down to zero, but they would be voted and rewarded as best club member for three months straight.

Other members had approached him, undeniably. Akemi himself has been harassing him, slipping a dildo in his bag once or twice or cornering him in the school bathroom but (m/n) had managed to escape every time. Itome couldn't care less at all of this.

Tamura had tried dragging him by force, but one punch from (m/n)'s vice captain silenced his drastic measures as he resorted to yelling at the (h/c) about the gangbang instead.

Shikatani had also asked him to stay after class, them being classmates and all. The pretty male flashed his lingerie underneath his school uniform and (m/n) only deadpanned at his seduction attempt, Shikatani got really offended at his refusal.

The first year from the other day, Kashima Yuu, had caught up to him during lunch. Inviting him again, saying that Akemi had pushed him before he makes Kashima become the focus of the gangbang.

"I don't get it. Why is everyone so adamant for my virginity?" The captain groaned as he palmed his face.

Kashima only laughed nervously, with a slight red hue on his cheeks. "(m/n)-senpai is a very admirable person. I'm shocked Akemi-san hadn't gotten to you earlier." (m/n) kicked his shin, out of annoyance of the stupid joke.

Oddly enough, the mascot of the Yaribu had not come to see him yet. Yuri had deemed (m/n), as he quoted 'boring' since the pink-haired male was not interested in an uninterested person. That's what the (h/c) had thought until he found out Yuri had been searching for his dorm room late at night.

His mind wandered back to the present, the brunette in front of him bowing down. "Who are you, again?" The brunette flinched as he peeked up at the (h/c), only knowing of him from praises from Kashima.

"Toono...Toono Takashi." "First year?" The brunette nodded as he kept his head down. (m/n) frowned as he moved to leave the conversation but yelped when he felt something clutching his legs. "Please (m/n)-senpai! I'm begging you, I really need the reward!" Toono cried out as he hugged the captain's legs tightly. If his vice-captain was here, a fight would've broke out but alas he was alone.

"I don't want to sleep with anyone, I swear! I really need the reward so they'd leave me alone. I'm too straight for this!!" The first year sobbed as he begged for the (h/c) to comply. (m/n) doubted his last sentence but whatever.

Everyone is starting to annoy him recently. With all the fuss about his cherry and whatnot. It's just his virginity. Not marriage or whatever. This isn't the Victorian era where one's purity brings wealth or value. Fuck it, just this once.

(m/n) groaned loudly as he sneered at the brunette at his legs.

"You'll leave me alone after this one time, right?"

-

"Hn-ng ahckk!"

(m/n) was choking on his own saliva. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he stepped inside the clubroom, the first thing he saw was Akemi's shocked face. Now he was lying on the ground clothes astrewn, on a futon they oh so gracefully brought out for him in the middle of the small room.

"HAHAHA SHO CUTE!! DICK'S SO CUTEE!" Yuri drooled over the (h/c)'s half-hard penis, his spit drooping over the (s/c) tip as Yuri dove in and immediately deep-throated earning a yelp from (m/n). His bottom couldn't stay still as someone had kept playing with his hole, his dirty cum-filled hole.

There were too many people for (m/n) to register. Too many dicks shoved in his face. Hands groping his athletic body. Tamura was still mangling a dildo down his throat, choking the (h/c). The volleyball player had a suspicion that it was used before.

"Now I know why so many people are lusting after you, (m/n)-chan. It's a wonder how you have kept to yourself this long." Shikatani mumbled, as he pulled the rope connected to the choker around his classmate's neck as he pinched the (h/c)'s nipples, eyes mulling over it twitching. Said (h/c) cried out as he moaned all over the purple toy in his mouth, Tamura taking great pleasure in his expressions.

(m/n) felt so overwhelmed. Hours could have passed since the room is so dimly lit now, only orange hues barely spilling in through the closed curtains. Immediately after he entered he was pinned down to the floor. Itome was slightly jealous due to Akemi being oddly possessive of (m/n)'s chastity.

-

"Ahh ahh mmngahh~" The (h/c) panted as his legs were forced up forcibly up to his shoulders as he sat on the white bedding, Itome holding him up as Akemi shoved his lubed fingers in and out of (m/n)'s asshole while unbuttoning his school uniform. "I love virgins, (m/n)-chan! But I think I'd love yours the most."

The president cooed as he slipped his tongue into (m/n)'s mouth, sloppily making out with the sobbing (h/c) who was so stimulated having his asshole fingered by someone else for the first time. He felt someone taking his free hand to rub on something. Something dripping.

Tamura groaned at the feeling of the calloused hand he's using to rub himself off. "Mm- ahh your hand is so nice senpai..." Tamura mewled as he thrusted his hips into (m/n)'s fist.

The (h/c) heard a mumble behind him before he jumped at the cold feeling of someone's tongue slobbering all over his neck, his body flinching in Itome's hold. "HAHAHAHAH VIRGIN VIRGIN!!" Yuri licked (m/n)'s left ear, teasing his tongue into the rim of his ear canal. The volleyball captain's tried to pull his ass away from Akemi's fingers before the blonde stopped him by pulling his hair harshly.

"Don't you dare run away, (m/n)-chan. We all have waited oh so patiently for you <3." Akemi pulled away to speak and kiss his cheek before shoving his mouth into the (h/c)'s. His fingers teasingly pressing into his asshole before he added all four, essentially preparing his bottom for the many dicks to cum.

Akemi was the one to fuck him first. It was definitely him. (m/n) could never forget the look of delight on the blonde's face when he thrusted himself into the squirming (h/c) while he was still held up by Itome. And oh god his dick was so big. Why did a small guy like Akemi Keiichi have that thing around anyways?

"A-Akemi! P-please slow down- ah!" (m/n) gripped the blonde's arms as he grounded himself from Akemi's excited thrust. "Like a piston!" Yuri cheered from somewhere in the room. The (h/c) couldn't see much, the room was dark from his request but he couldn't have felt so seen.

His asshole twitched every time Akemi's large cock brutally pounded into him, pulling tears that dripped on his lower lashes. He was naked and fucked bare whilst everyone watched. Everyone's eyes on him and their hands had violated his chastity one way or another.

Everyone? Toono? (m/n) tried searching for the brunette, the one who he had let him pull him to this whorish club. He could only see a handful of brown hair hiding behind one of the couches.

"Hey hey. Dick's up here fucker." Tamura grappled his jaw as he positioned his cock towards (m/n)'s mouth, taking advantage of him gasping for air every time Akemi fucked into his ass, he slipped in his wet cock into (m/n)'s throat. "And here I thought your hand was good, (m/n)-senpai! Mmm~ you might be better than Yuri." He didn't notice when Itome had left his figure, (m/n) now laying on the thin futon as Akemi fucked him missionary.

His tongue instinctively swirled around Tamura's tip, his eyes lulled back into his skull as Tamura pressed his crotch further into his face, his balls slapping against his chin and his precum slobbering all over (m/n)'s mouth. He tried swallowing to gain airway but that only made the second year moan even more, spilling cum into his mouth, choking the (h/c).

Tamura pulled out and laid his spent penis on (m/n)'s face, covering his right cheek and eye. The (h/c) was gasping for air as cum drooled out of his mouth, his body still flinching as Akemi bit into his pecs. "Ne ne (m/n)-chan. You were always my type, y'know? That's why I'm so excited to see you like this~"

Like a whore with a dick flat on his face and underneath Akemi getting pounded to no end. (m/n)'s cries only got louder as Akemi started to thrust even faster and shallower. "I-I think I'm gonna cum- I'm gonna cum real soon! Ah ah! I'm gonna cum I'm gonna cu-ummm!!" The (h/c) mewled as he Tamura's cum drooled out from the corner of his lips as he threw his head back from his upcoming orgasm.

(m/n)'s back arched as he felt spurts of sperm shoot out of his stimulated penis, Akemi smiling down and kissing his neck. "Bare with me for a bit, (m/n)-chan." The blonde mumbled as he hugged the (h/c), effectively holding him down as he came inside his asshole, (m/n) clenching tighter at the sensation as he grappled the blonde's body for security.

His (s/c) body twitching as Akemi's unborn children spilled out of his bottom when the blonde pulled out. "No- no condom?" (m/n) mewled, his legs shaking and asshole twitching. "I'm so sorry, (m/n). I really wanted to pull out just now!"

Liar. Akemi had definitely wanted to defile his virginity properly. The (h/c) furrowed his eyebrows, his sanity slipping away as he pushed himself up shakily, although his legs couldn't even stretch properly. "Th-that's all, right? Can I leave now?" Too much dick. Too much cum for a day.

Tamura wanted to protest before Shikatani intervened. "I'm tired of only watching you, (m/n)-kun." The pretty male pushed him down gently as he sat on his stomach, his fingers trailing up (m/n)'s face, wiping away Tamura's cum. "I want my fill too."

"Hey hey! Get in line Shikatani! We agreed that I'd be next!" "I don't want his ass, Tamura." Shikatani shivered at the thought of (m/n)'s leaking hole with someone else's cum. But his front however, "I'd be using this for myself."

(m/n) couldn't even register properly before Shikatani slammed himself down on his half-hard spent cock. "Wh-wha?! Ah! A-angg ah!" The (h/c) could definitely audition for a hentai VA. His high-pitched moans and yelps was definitely a sweet tune to their ears. Yuri's ears especially.

"Touch! Touch me!" The pink-haired pulled on his hand, encouraging him to jerk off the second year. Shikatani was mewling as he rode the (h/c) like a fucking champ, bouncing up and down on his penis. (m/n)'s breathing had gotten heavier and his moans were ringing louder. His mind was definitely not in the right state as he mindlessly grabbed Yuri's dripping cock and jerking it off as well as he can. Tamura was cursing as he pulled on his other hand as well.

Now with two cocks over his head and Shikatani's beautiful body clenching down on him, it didn't take long for him to cum a second time. Nor for the other three cocks to spill all over his body, painting his chest and face streaks of milky white.

-

"Fuck fuck fuck!" (m/n) couldn't take this anymore. He grappled to crawl away from the futon, Itome had just finished shotgunning him seconds ago in his lap, fingering (m/n) and jerking him off at the same time at Akemi's request. It's too much for little ol' (m/n). They're crazy. They're sex maniacs.

"Hah! Where'd ya' think you're goin?" A hand roughly pulled on his ankle, dragging him back on the soiled mattress as Tamura excited laughter filled the air. "I finally get to bust my nut into you, senpai. Let's see if you're still tight after all this." "Wait wait wait-" The (h/c) couldn't even see the second year, he was on his hands and knees, his ass propped up with leashed choker still on his neck.

(m/n) squealed at the probing of his entrance for the nth time that day, the familiar silicone-shape of the male genitalia instantly shoved into his bottom, making the (h/c)'s gave his hands out as he plopped on the dirty mattress. "Fuck! You're clenching down on me so hard. Your asshole might just be your best feature other than your mouth, senpai!"

Tamura probed as he spread (m/n)'s buttcheeks apart, grinning down at his hole that was stuffed with his dick but still spilling cum from Akemi's round with him. The (h/c) was blabbering unintelligible noises, Tamura gripped the leash and pulled it back. "A-ack! Too-too much! Too much cock-" (m/n) dug his nails into Tamura's arms, he couldn't lie that the one with the nicest body here was definitely Tamura's as the (h/c) half sat on his cock while on his knees, the second year rutting into him, smacking their skin together as he pulled on the leash.

He felt like a dog. A bitch. Having a leash around his neck, his tongue panting out, drooling whatever saliva he has left and his eyes lulling back and forth with Tamura's thrusts. The second year wasn't wearing a condom too. The (h/c) could feel the wetness of his cock staining (m/n)'s ass while digging out Akemi's own cum.

"CUTIE CUTE CUTE!" Yuri made his way on front of (m/n) and instantly licked up a stripe up his chest, making the captain flinch. That damn piercing. He mewled as Yuri began to lick and suck on his nipples, instinctively tightening in on Tamura's dick. "Urmff! Tighter! Make it hurt senpai!" The second year began to pound up into him even harder as (m/n) yelled out in exasperation.

He just noticed something in Yuri's hands. Huh. What's that? (m/n) could barely see anything in the dark room. Had it passed sundown already? The (h/c) was about to call out for Akemi until he felt his cock shoved into something soft, velvety cushion.

"H-huh?"

He whimpered, scared of whatever was on his cock while Tamura was still fucking up into him from behind. Yuri cackled as he jacked the flashlight up and down on the (h/c)'s cock, leering at the crying face (m/n) was expressing. "P-please...have mercy..." The (h/c) was begging for them to slow down. It was no use asking them to end it but the least he could have was a moment of sanity.

"Sex is the best!" Yuri chanted as he pressed one of the buttons on the fleshlight, turning on its vibrate function as (m/n) screamed at the new sensation on his spent cock, the pink-haired male still pistoning it up and down on his penis. Tamura laughed at (m/n)'s sobbing as he went to suck on his neck, littering hickies all over his skin.

Yuri leaned forward to mush their tongues together, (m/n) completely bottoming out as he let Yuri violate his mouth with his stupid piercing. The two second years pressed (m/n) in between them, Tamura still fucking up into (m/n) although he had came inside, he still wanted to milk out more of himself into the (h/c) while Yuri rubbing his penis under (m/n)'s cock, slipping in between his thighs and his balls.

The (h/c) came again, into the fleshlight as he was making out with Yuri, humping him all the while Tamura cummed in the third year for the second time, stilling inside him as he bit down on his nape, leaving a mark for sure.

"Wow, your performance is really good, (m/n)!" He couldn't see where Akemi was but judging on Itome's moaning, he was probably doting on his boyfriend. "You being a volleyball player really helps with your stamina!" The blonde praised the (h/c) as he fucks himself into Itome, cooing into his crying boyfriend.

As Tamura pulled out, so much liquid instantly dripped out of his hole. (m/n) felt so disgusting, so filled, so satisfied with himself. Fuck, was he turning into one of them? He didn't protest when Yuri pushed him down onto the futon again.

"Hey Yuri-kun. He's had enough, don't you think?" Tamura quirked an eyebrow at the sight of a neon dildo in Yuri's hand. Yuri irked and yelled at Tamura. "Shut up! Stupid Tamura!" The former laughed as he leaned down onto the (h/c). "Sorry, senpai. Looks like you have to service him next."

The third year was too out of it. He didn't hear what Tamura said, only responding when Tamura leaned down to give him comforting kisses on his face as he whined for more. The second year laughed as he kissed deeply into the (h/c) while Yuri slipped himself onto (m/n)'s cock.

"Mmff! Mmmggh-..." (m/n)'s moans were muffled by Tamura's tongue, the latter only cupping his face to make out with him sloppily. Yuri on the other hand, was having the time of his life bouncing wildly on his hard cock, the (h/c) doesn't know how he himself was still hard. Maybe he was pent up all this time, and the Yaribu Club is doing him a favor letting him spill his cum in so many different ways.

Yuri clenched down on him, while rubbing himself all over with the neon vibrating dildo. When he saw, (m/n) wasn't focusing on him at all, he shoved the toy in between his legs, effectively drawing the (h/c) away from Tamura with a scream, a string of saliva still connecting their faces.

"Mmngg- FUCK FUCK!!" (m/n)'s eyes widened as he felt his puffy hole violated with the vibrating dildo, being shoved in and out of his ass, Yuri letting the tip linger on his rim. "I'm better at him using those things." Tamura kissed his tears. "You can come to me at anytime if you want to play again." The (h/c) sobbed into Tamura's hold, crying at Yuri's ruthless hold on him.

"(m/n). I wanna try your mouth, please." Shikatani pushed Tamura away, the latter scoffing at the third year as he went to find the first years. Were they all hiding? Tamura definitely made sure to lock the doors. The (h/c) was too tired to lift his head up but Shikatani who was kneeling beside (m/n)'s head, only slid his penis over his lips, still donning a lingerie. At this point, (m/n)'s naked body was so defiled with cum and hickies so Shikatani only went for his tongue instead.

The (h/c) lapped his tongue on Shikatani's underside, kissing it fervently as he sucked on the cock, he was definitely bigger than Shikatani. His breaths huffed on the dick in his face before he sucked some more, if it was possible he would have left hickies on it.

Sperm shot on his face and (m/n) didn't even notice when Yuri had lifted himself up from his cock, promptly finishing himself off on his face as Shikatani yelled at him for getting some on his dick. The (h/c) had finished inside Yuri, judging by his cum leaking down Yuri's legs but the dildo was still in him, vibrating lowly in his ass. (m/n) paid no mind to the fighting above him as he continued to kiss and lick Shikatani's cock, making him drip his load on (m/n)'s face. Who knew it would feel so good getting defiled by so many people at once?

(m/n) laid still, fucked out from all the dicks and his mind blank, his face lips wet with precum and Yuri still on top of him, leaning down to lick into his ear. His mind was blank, his puffy eyes foggy with post-nut syndrome. Was this what sex had felt like all this time?

He didn't notice the yelling match behind him as Yuri was pulled off of him and another was pushed on top of him before he propped himself up with his arms. "I-I'm sorry, senpai." (m/n) squinted his eyes, trying to recognise who was on top of him.

"Kashima..."

"These suckers were hiding all this time! Everyone has to join in." Tamura yelled at the still fully clothed Kashima, who had been hiding with Toono behind the couches. A screaming Toono could be heard as Yuri pulled him up. Akemi glared while smiling at the first years. "Now now. Everyone had their turns with (m/n) except for Toono and Kashima. It's either you fuck him or we'll have our way with you!" The blonde stated threateningly.

(m/n) was still staring at at Kashima who smiled apologetically at him. "Senpai, you've done a lot today." Kashima was still clean and in his school uniform unlike the captain, who was stark naked and body smothered with the three liquids; sweat, saliva and cum. The first year reached out and wiped away the wetness from his face while looking into (e/c) adoringly.

"I don't think he can handle anymore, Akemi-senpai." Kashima looked to the blonde, who was hugging Itome, on the other side of the room. "Really? What a pity. It would've been a great achievement for a virgin to fuck all the members on their first time." Akemi looked to Itome, who refused to have sex with the (h/c).

"N-No. I still wanna-" (m/n) mewled as he hugged Kashima. He panted as he rubbed his cheek against the first year. "I...I wanna do it with you." Kashima's painful erection during the entire endeavour couldn't be anymore obvious now. His pants straining against his bulge which was pressed against the (h/c)'s crotch.

"(m/n)..." Kashima whispered as he kissed the (h/c), the latter spilling more moans as he pressed his tongue sloppily against the first year's lips. The blue-haired male endulged in the third year, opening his mouth as he quickly undressed himself.

Toono was shaking, he was caught by Yuri, quickly after Tamura had snatched Kashima. He felt guilty, when he brought (m/n) here he knew there was going to be some action but he didn't expect for them to immediately pounce on the (h/c), pushing him to the floor and tearing off his clothes even though (m/n) had somewhat agree to this. Will he have to go through this as well if he still has his virginity by the end lf the month?

There was the thought of Akemi however, who seemed to be obsessed with the (h/c), brutally prepping him and immediately soiling (m/n)'s virginity without a second thought. The others follow suit, having their way with him one way or another, and Toono felt so responsible for the current fucked out state of the third year. He had came here because Toono begged the (h/c) after all.

"K-Kashima?!" He hadn't expect Kashima to indulge into all of this, maybe he should've based on the words of aspiration leaning into adoration of the (h/c) from the blue-haired male.

Kashima gently pulled up the (h/c) all while pressing his lips onto the latter while settling him into his lap. He unbuckled his pants as he licked ferverently on the roof of (m/n)'s tongue, their teeth clashing together.

His fingers went low, tracing down the (h/c) muscly thighs, who was reknowned as a volleyball player fyi, and down on the underside of his balls, reaching into his delicate hole. An index finger slipped in, testing the waters as (m/n) whimpered into his mouth.

Kashima opened his eyes to see (m/n) cutely perched on his lap, in his eyes, with the other members all looking at them in the background. Fuck, he felt like he was an adult star filming a porno.

His finger wiggled inside, feeling cum gushed all over (m/n)'s rim, spilling out and dripping onto floor. The (h/c)'s body twitched at the sensation, pulling away from Kashima to rest his head on the first year's shoulders. "Haa...haa..." He panted heavily, his eyes pressed close as Kashima began to fish out the remaining sperm that was spilled deep inside the (h/c).

"You took so much, (m/n)." Kashima whispered, in awe or teasingly, he couldn't tell. "Such a good boy." The (h/c)'s cock twitched at the compliment, Kashima taking note of it as he kissed the shell of his ear. "You're such a good sport, aren't you?" He was definitely teasing the third year, peppering more kisses down his neck as (m/n) nodded in response.

"I'm glad you're okay with this." Kashima pulled his finger out, satisfied with the small pool under his lap as he hoisted (m/n) up properly, letting his now exposed dick slide between the (h/c)'s asscheeks.

(m/n) was huffing and shivering at the teasing. He was used to the others pummelling straight into his hole. "I-I'm okay with it. It's fun?" Kashima laughed at his response as he kissed (m/n)'s cheek. "If you say so."

Suddenly, Kashima humped the (h/c), creating friction between the base of his cock with (m/n)'s ass. The third year cried out, expecting the former to push inside already but Kashima made no move to do so, only grunting and rubbing his dick in between his ass, feeling precum slide down all over the base of his penis and (m/n)'s ass.

"Put it in. Please just put it in already." The third year begged Kashima, pressing down his trimmed nails into Kashima's shoulder blades. His (e/c) eyes glossy to spill more tears of pleasure as he bit his bottom lip harshly.

"I know, I know but I gotta get it wet first." He cooed into the (h/c), all the while playing with the mound of flesh in his hands, fuck (m/n) always had such a great ass, possibly due to the intense sport he's active in.

After a while and some snarky comments from Tamura, Kashima lifted the (h/c)'s thighs shakily, and gently guided his tip to kiss (m/n)'s hole. Slowly, he pushed (m/n) down onto his dick, his puckered anus clenching and unclenching every time and inch passed through and Kashima didn't stop until the whole base was in.

"So good." Kashima whispered as he pecked the shivering (h/c). Suddenly, he gripped (m/n) by his ass and brought him up and down his cock. The (h/c) whining loudly as he wrapped his arms around the first year as he threw his head back, relishing in the pleasure as he gets fucked at a nice pace.

Kashima thrusted his hips up at the same time as (m/n) bouncing on his own, they leaned in and shoved their tongues against each other, pressing their chests as Kashima scratched his nails into (m/n)'s ass. He could feel someone pulling his legs apart, to give the others a view. How fucking perverted can the Yaribu be?

Toono was gawking at the whole scenario, (m/n) riding his friend, Kashima who seemed to be more or less open to the whole idea. The other members were having fun just watching the whole thing especially Yuri and Akemi. And what the hell Kashima! Weren't they supposed to pretend to be boyfriends anyways??

Tamura seemed to read his thoughts as he pulled Toono by his arm. "Your boyfriend looks to be having a lot of fun. Sounds like you can do it too, can't ya?" Toono felt dread as Tamura dragged him to the center and tossed him in front of the two that were fucking like rabbits.

"Toono- mmngg-!" Kashima was cut off as he felt (m/n) tightening around him. The (h/c) tossed his head back, his own untouched penis shooting watered down cum on Kashima's chest. "Annh ah haa..." The first year stopped his actions, feeling the wetness on his abdomen. Kashima had just realised the look on Toono, their whole facade of them fake dating was hanging on by a thread. (m/n) was confused on why he stopped.

The (h/c) glanced back to see the brunette who had brought him here, who indirectly brought him to this cursed world of pleasure through his pity. He looked back to Kashima and figured out there was more to them than it looks. He pulled away from Kashima and lifted himself up, hearing a popped wet noise and noted that Kashima hadn't cum yet.

"Toono." He motioned Toono to cum over here and the latter obliged, under the watchful gaze of the club president. The brunette crawled closer and hesitantly kneeled on the futon.

"Yes, (m/n)-senpai?"

(m/n) stared at Toono before leaning in to kiss him, the brunette frozen at the act of the gentle press, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

After a second, the (h/c) pulled away, his face full of lust and debauchery as he gazed into Toono's green eyes. Nothing was said between them before Akemi clasped his hands on Toono's shoulders. "It's your turn, Toono!" "H-Huh?!" "All of us have done it, with the exception of my cute boyfriend, and the only one is you!"

"N-NO PLEASE! I STILL WANT TO KEEP MY VIRGINITY-" "You don't have to give your virginity." They turned to Shikatani who was playing around with a dildo near his crotch. "You can just let (m/n) give you...head." Akemi gleamed. "That settles it!"

Immediately, Toono's pants were ripped off and he was horrified at the speed of the Yaribu members. (m/n) was maneuvered onto his hands and knees as he layed his face near the first year's crotch. Kashima was still hesitant behind them, his dick still hard albeit getting colder by the moment.

"Are...are you both okay with this?" Kashima looked to be mixed in thoughts, both of his crushes layed bare before him and he wasn't sure to proceed with Toono's hesitation, although it usually pains him to see with another, he would made an exception for (m/n) for he adore the (h/c) just as much.

"It's either you getting a blowjob or Yuri gets to fuck you." Akemi whispered into Toono's ears to which the latter screamed at the thought. "Yes yes! I'm okay with it- aahnggh!" He was cut off as (m/n) licked at his underwear, where his penis was tucked in and immediately he felt Akemi tugging it off.

The (h/c) licked a stripe up the virgin's cock, suckling at the tip, hearing the cracked moans from Toono. Maybe he was becoming one of them, a slutty stupid sex-addicted maniac. He could feel Kashima coming up behind him and hugging his back.

Kashima looked to Toono, who was drooling and his hips shuddering, the latter noticing the staring just nodded before throwing his head back to let out another quivered moan.

Receiving the green light, Kashima immediately slipped his hands down (m/n)'s bottom, and pushed himself inside, eager to chase his lost release previously. The (h/c) choked down at the surprise and Toono yelped at the sudden constriction on his penis.

The sounds of skin slapping skin couldn't be more obvious now that Kashima's pace turned rougher, he couldn't help but gaze at (m/n)'s pounding ass against his crotch and Toono's flushed face, this was heaven for him. Every time Kashima pushed forward, (m/n) was forcibly deepthroated onto Toono, his cock reaching down his throat and the (h/c) felt his anus fluttering down Kashima.

The blue-haired male panted as he delved himself inside (m/n) further, his eyes locked onto Toono's widened ones. The brunette couldn't contain himself, his hands grasping at (h/c) hair, clutching at the roots every time his tongue swirled around the veins of his base.

Kashima moaned loudly as he shoved his hips deep into (m/n)'s ass, cumming deep inside the (h/c) who gasped on Toono's cock, his cheeks full. Toono came a second later, mewlimg as he pulled out of (m/n)'s mouth halfway through, spraying his cum on the third year's face. The (h/c) couldn't cum anymore. Though, he felt Kashima's hand stroke his genital as he attempted to finish the third year but all he could muster was a small pool of liquid.

(m/n) fell on the thin futon on his side, his chest taking in deep breaths as he closed his eyes shut. He could hear the Yaribu members surrounding him, Akemi praising Toono and Kashima before he knelt beside the (h/c).

"You should join our club, (m/n)-chan. You'd make an excellent bitch for our school!" He spoke as he caressed the (h/c)'s cheek, his blue eyes peering down with a glint (m/n) couldn't recognise.

All (m/n) could mumble out was a "No.", before promptly passing out in the room. Immediately pulled into a world of sleep and he would wake up in Akemi's room the next day, his body clean and sore.

-

"(m/n). I've heard you went to Yaribu's gangbang..." A voice called out to him, (m/n) looked behind him and saw his vice-captain, Daisuke Yuichi, with a frown on his face, standing under the door ledge of his classroom.

The (h/c) groaned as he palmed himself in the forehead, standing up to clean his desk, he had gazed outside his windows after class ended. A much needed afterthought recollected in his brain.

Three days had passed and true to Toono's promise, the Yaribu club no longer harassed the volleyball captain, only chirping in an offer to fuck or two but none went as far as previous attempts. Toono wouldn't look him in the eye anymore while Kashima was more than happy to interact with him whenever they run into each other.

Akemi acted a bit odd with him since then, his eyes lingering on the (h/c) a second longer than it should, Itome no longer wanting to acknowledge (m/n) however. Shikatani and Yuri treated him like usual and Tamura with his constant insults. Like the news of his virginity spreading, him joining the Yaribu on a Wednesday evening also sparked rumours of his cherry popped amongst most of the student body.

Daisuke had always been wary of the Yaribu Club, never liking their inappropriate activities nor the sexual innuendos they brought about. So when his precious captain was particularly targeted, it made him more frustrated nonetheless.

"It wasn't as bad. I did it just so they would get off my back." (m/n) hauled his bag, exiting his class with Daisuke in tow to the direction of their gym for their next practice.

"If you had come to me, I could've done it better than them."

(m/n) paused in his tracks, looking back at his vice-captain, whose gaze was fixated on the floor. His mouth moved to speak but pursed into a smile. "That wasn't the point and..." Black eyes looked up into (e/c).

"I'm sure you would have."

Daisuke was silent before he cracked out a chuckle as he jogged towards the (h/c), wrapping and arm around the latter's shoulders. (m/n) smiled at the thought of Daisuke and the Yaribu Club.

Maybe he should visit them once in a while.

[END SCENE].

[unedited]

Afterthoughts :

Well that took me four days, haha. I'm new here and I can't believe this weird thing is my debut fic💀. I hope you guys weren't bored halfway through and please refer to me as Ouka. I'd love to be friends and Daisuke would feature more on separate fics more frequently!

I will edit the scenes especially the start and the end because they felt kinda wonky and awkward to me, especially Toono's part because it was ooc imo. All respectful criticism is appreciated and do leave a comment! I would love to hear your words on this blasphemy.

I apologise for the usage of _-san, _-chan, _-senpai and the likes. After watching the anime, to gain their sense of character, I couldn't help but feel it made more sense to read (?) although the usage is not constant (eg Daisuke not calling reader with san) but i will edit it!

[octoberautumnbox]

I Got All I Need

Le Sserafim Kim Chaewon (ft. Soloist Jo Yuri & Male Reader)

Categories/warnings: smut, phone sex, masturbation, voyeurism i think, anal, abuse, rough sex, like really really rough sex (kinda)

Word count: 1.6k

a/n: wrote on a whim lol no proofread no beta im sorry anways--

Chaewon lay bored in her bed, having exhausted her SNS feeds and Watch Later playlist. Her members sent all manner of pictures with their families and other friends in the groupchat, and honestly, genuinely, Chaewon was happy for them! And just a teeny bit envious, that's all, cross her heart and hope to die.

Her phone read 6:06 pm, and on her first long weekend off in the year, she had nothing to do. She was getting desperate for some fun. She opened her contacts app and punched in a random number.

"Ah, sorry, Chaewon-ssi," the voice on the other end of the line admitted, "Yena won't be back in Korea until next Friday. I'll let her know you called."

"Hi, this is Eunbi! I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave me a message and I'll get back to you in a jiffy!" Of course she uses an answering machine, Chaewon thought.

"Hi, Unnie!" Chaewon was overjoyed! "Hey Minmin, I was just curious if you were down to eat--" The sound of a bell rang loud in the other side of the phone call. "Oops, I'm really really sorry Unnie. Gotta get back now. Long night ahead of us, they're even killing my character again today! See you soon!"

Looking to her closet, Chaewon's mind was half-set to just put on a warm coat and go out alone. That's a thing people do nowadays, right? Go out and eat by themselves?

Sighing, she went for one last-ditch effort. She knows she won't pick up. She knows that even if she does, she wouldn't want to come out. She knows that if she wants to come out, it'll be shabu-shabu and sitting around by the Han River. "Oh well," Chaewon resigned, "At least I won't be alone."

She scrolled down her contacts and found her name. Tap, tap, tap, and the ringing started. One ring, two, three, and four. Chaewon expected this, so much so that she's not even disappointed.

"H-hello?" Chaewon fought back a gasp! "Hey, hi Yuri! I was going to go out for a bite--"

"Ah, fuck..." Silence filled the phone line for a good few seconds before Yuri's end broke it again. "Shit, th-that's really good."

"Yuri?" "Ffffuck yes, just like that..." Disbelief filled Chaewon's mind. "Sorry," Yuri struggled to whisper, "wh-who is this?"

"It's... It's Chaewo-" "Fuck! Shit, shit, shit, please..."

Chaewon had half a mind to just drop the call then and there, and she should, right? This is one of her best friends in the world. Busy, as they say, with something important.

"Unnie, I'm so sorry, I just have the thickest cock ripping my asshole apart right now, ahhh, oh fuck, OH FUCK!"

Although, as much as Chaewon wants to deny it, dropping the call was out of the question now. She had to know just what exactly was going on.

"Are you okay, Yuri? Do... you need me to call someone?"

"Haahhhhh... Ahh, AHHHH!" Yuri's scream ripped through the phone line, and Chaewon couldn't keep her own free hand from straying anymore.

"Unnie, I... I need y-you... to keep a... a secret," It was hard for Chaewon to decipher what her friend was saying, between every moan and grunt littered across her speech. She couldn't resist, though, that she was paying more attention to them than whatever words could be spilling out of Yuri's mouth.

"I'm... with my... with my boyfriend. He's p-pounding my ass right now..." Chaewon was groping her own ass at that moment, and she could feel herself getting moist.

She heard whispering at the other end. Yuri's voice rang clearer, even if a bit shakier. "He says... if I end the call... he'll tie me up and, and leave me," Yuri's breaths are heavy and laced with exhaustion, "un-until morning. So I'm sorry, but I can't... Mmmmff..."

Chaewon couldn't believe she was getting hot to the sound of her friend getting fucked hard. There was no way pure, sweet, innocent Yuri was like this, right? Absolutely impossible.

And yet, she found her own hand slipping under her panties. She felt her smooth pussy lips, how they were slick against her fingers, and how her insides were starting to burn up.

"Unnie... he's making me tell you..." Chaewon was all ears now, desperate for more.

"I have six inches of cock up my ass... and three ffffingers... in my soaking cunt." Three wouldn't fit, Chaewon thought, so she settled for two inside herself. Her pussy lips parted for them, and Chaewon let out a tiny "mmmh."

"He... he's rubbing my clit, and... AHHH--" Chaewon was palming her own clit as her fingers shoved themselves slowly in and out of her pussy, letting more of her juices out and onto her panties.

"... and he's s-slapping and pinching it, Unnie..." Frustrated and in heat, Chaewon frantically stripped and kicked away both her shorts and panties; they were ruined anyway. She lay comfortably back onto her bed and spread her legs, in prime position for her own missionary fucking, with regrettably nothing more than her left hand.

"And Unnie..." Her former member's deep and heavy breaths occupied the phone line. "P-please... don't let this... change how you see me... God, please, no..."

Chaewon pumped her fingers in and out of her pussy hard now. Her juices were falling all over her bedsheets, and the scent of her sex reaching her nose only spurred her on.

"Yuri... Tell me."

"He... he creampied me, Unnie..." Suddenly, Chaewon's hips lifted off the bed momentarily as she heard this. Her fingers found a good spot as she returned to the bed, and from then on strove to hit it again and again and again.

"More, Yuri-yah... please..." She couldn't hide it anymore, Chaewon was moaning just as loudly now as her beloved friend.

"Th-three times, Unnie... in my ass..." Chaewon's eyes shut tight as her brain locked onto what was being said. "And... six... I think, in my... my pussy... oh- OH GOD!"

Chaewon started grinding against her palm, forcing more pleasure through her crotch. She humped against the air, lifting and dropping her hips in a needy bid for her sweet release.

"FUCK! Unnie, I can't remember-- Shhhhhit, shitshitshitshit... How- how many times he came in my cunt- AHHHH!"

She could hear it so much better now, how her friend's ass slapped against her boyfriend's waist. Yuri's moans rang louder still, pushing her phone's speaker to its limit.

"Unnie, holy fuck, Unnie... Please... don't..." Yuri collected herself for a moment before starting again. "He... he has my-my nipples in clamps, too... It hurts so good, Chaewon-unnie, shit... everything is so good..."

Chaewon struggled against her top, and managed to get all of it up past her chest and under her neck. Her breasts bounced out from under her bra and relaxed. She pinched and squeezed her left nipple as hard as she could, feeling the nub stiffen against her fingertips.

"And I came, Unnie..." Her fingers returned to pleasuring her now-leaking pussy. Chaewon rubbed around her lips to collect more of her slick, before shoving now three of her fingers inside her.

"I came so... so many times. F-fifteen... before I- ahhh- lost c-count." Chaewon found her pace and rhythm again. She pistoned her fingers into and out of her sex as her moans reached the other end of the line too.

"Fuck, Yuri-yah, that sounds so fucking good... I'm close... I'm so close!"

"He's forcing me t-to tell you, Unnie, ahhhhh..."

Chaewon shut her eyes again, wishing, imagining it was her getting the railing of her life. Only now did she realize how big the wet spot on her bed between her legs was.

"I'm... Unnie, I'm... his slut. I'm his ffffuuuckdoll..."

Chaewon was straining herself now, her arm muscles burning with overexertion. She felt her cunt leak so much of her sex all over her hand. She wildly fingered her g-spot, praying that her climax comes soon.

"I'm his pleasure girl, Unnie," Chaewon heard her friend's voice break with sobs between words and moans. "I'm his slutty, hhhorny, p-personal o-onahole..."

At this point, Chaewon was sobbing too. Why couldn't she have a boyfriend like that? Why can't she be the one getting sexually taken advantage of? She even bet she could make Yuri's boyfriend feel worlds better than Yuri ever could.

"I'm his... I'm his slutty fucking cumdump, Unnie! He fucks me raw and creampies my cunt- AHHHHH- and I love when he fills my womb up so much it leaks out of my abused pussy!"

A scream dragged itself across Chaewon's throat, and she made sure both Yuri and her boyfriend heard. Chaewon's arm burned hotter with overfatigue as she was nearly breaking her own pussy with how hard she was pumping. "Fuck, Yuri! Please! I need to cum!"

"Fuck, Unnie, me too! Shit, Unnie, I have to tell you..."

Tears streamed down Chaewon's cheeks now, her crotch and thighs soaked with her slick. She's already lost control of herself and fully gave in to her body's desires, wailing cries and moans that she couldn't even recognize as her own anymore.

"I'm not safe, Unnie! I'm so fucking f-fertile! He's going to make me pregnant! H-he's put- FUCKING SHIT, PLEASE DADDY- He's putting a fucking baby in my womb!!! AAAHHHHHHH!"

"FFFFUCK, YURI! HOLY FUCK I'M CUMMING SO MUCH!!!"

Chaewon's cum sprayed out of her sore cunt in intense streams. Chaewon forcefully pulled her fingers out as her hips convulsed violently, wringing out every last drop of her climax. She kept squirting for what felt like ages, and with every spurt of her girlcum she grew less and less alert.

Her eyes were heavy, and her ears were failing her. Her hands dropped to the sides, as did her waist onto the mattress as her climax overwhelmingly resolved. She grew less and less aware of her heart beating out of her chest, and, finally, passed out naked on her cum-soaked bed.

a/n: lmao jesus christ anyways this wasn't the incest smut i was talking abt that's still in the works

[kithtaehyung]

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i've had time to make it something i'm proud of. trying to rush everything out didn't do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i'm sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: ...19.1k 🚶‍♀️

-

-

Words abandon you.

They stand far from your form, pitying observers of your decaying state in front of the man you’ve been lying to. At once, you feel completely alone, not even Yoongi’s lingering presence helping when those eyes are piercing through time and space. Everything you’ve experienced over the past two years slings across your vision, from the first time you left your house in the pouring rain to get to Yoongi’s, to the car ride back you just took with his kiss still on your lips. 

All of those moments shattering into dust around your heels. 

Your feet make lines in them when you move to close the front door, something leaving your mouth before you can judge if it makes sense, “About what?” 

Zero sense. Absolute zero sense. Which your brother has absolute zero patience for. The drone in his question hits you like a punch to the gut, “Really.” 

“Just out late, is all,” you grumble, trying your best to not acknowledge an atmosphere so tense it’s almost crowded. “Jimin had another party, remember?” 

“Course I do.”

Huh? Wait. Why does he sound so—

“I was there.”

Dread launches up your veins, rocketing right to your heart in the middle of a pulse. He was there? You saw his car when Yoongi pulled up close to the house. He was there? When the fuck did he arrive? Oh, fuck, if he got there early enough… did he see you… and Yoongi…

No. There’s no way. Because one, Yoongi parked far down and around the corner. He made sure not to be close just in case you two could be spotted. 

With a thought you really cannot afford right now, you also assume he stayed that distance just so that he could pin you against his car. Fucking hell, focus! Upping the strength of your resolve to match cardboard, you lamely stall in your hunt for clarification, “You were?” 

“I was.” 

The watch on his wrist glints in its twist. When aggravated veins stare back at you, it’s obvious your brother is on the edge. Because he is deathly calm. “So where’d you go?” 

You blink, not having expelled a single breath since you stepped foot inside. 

Does he not know? Or does he know and he’s just waiting for you to finally spill? With all the hope in the universe, you yearn for it to be the first one. Because you cannot deal with a fallout right now. Not right after what happened with Yoongi. 

It’s just not the right time. 

“Yuri’s,” you blurt, finally kicking into gear and strategizing how you’re gonna finesse this. “She came and got me.” 

Your sibling just stands there, eyes a solid beam before he sighs at clasped wrists. 

Here it comes. He’s gonna ask why you didn’t say anything. Like he always does because for some reason you’re still not a true adult to him and he has to keep tabs on you at all times and you can’t just sneak around with his best friend in peace—

“K.” Your eyes shake once. “Just tell me next time.” 

And just like that, your brother vacates the foyer, dark dress shoes clacking as he retreats back into his room. Leaving you standing in silence. 

All the words around you just as speechless. 

Just like that, you’re gone again.

After watching you leave and wishing you didn’t have to, Yoongi shuts his door to rest ponderous thoughts on worn wood. Eyes closed and a storm on his mind’s horizon.

Just a little longer. He hopes you’ll understand. This is just something he needs. More than anything else. 

Exhausted, he peels himself from the door, meandering through the bog of his living room. Trudge, trudge, trudge to the dining table, skirting fingers along the edge and noting that it feels different than before. 

At least something in his apartment has changed for the better. 

Who would’ve thought that table would witness both an end and a beginning. That it would see the worst and best of him. If it was ever called to stand, there’s no doubt that it could recite all his failures and shortcomings. But he hopes that it would also attest to how much he’s fucking tried. 

As much as Yoongi wants to throw it out, he hasn’t. Because despite being withered to hell, all it needed to recover was the new company of a familiar face. 

And a little bit of summer rain. 

It watches as his thoughts move on, and soaks in the blues and pinks of sunrise as he crosses into the bedroom. At the feel of your lingering presence, Yoongi gnaws on his lip. 

What the fuck does he do now? The moment you leave, he wants nothing more than to have you back in his bed. It’s the one fact that he has come to fully acknowledge. Because there are many times you’ve caught him slipping. But when you’re lost to your dreams? Visibly at peace and safe under his sheets? That’s when he can’t even think straight. 

How your serenity throws him into disarray, Yoongi has no fucking clue.

But he can’t afford these feelings right now. Because how can he want you close while being the reason for this distance? Make it make sense. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite. Tsking, Yoongi once again accepts the consequences, heading to his bathroom before going back the fuck to sleep. 

Lies. Who is he kidding? There’s no way his rest will be the same without you. Especially since he doesn’t know when he’ll get to see you next. 

There is a way to remedy that. To put an end to your time apart. But Yoongi’s been so in his fucking head that it’s chaining him down and pulling taut. No matter how much he struggles, he can’t break free, and it’s driving him to the brink.

But last night? With you? Half moons mar his palms as he stands. Staring. Branding that whole memory into his heart.

After three months of questioning his existence. 

All it took was your soft hums to give him a reason. 

And you won’t ever know how much that meant to him. Not until Yoongi finally decides to tell you. Which will most likely be never. Maybe that’s why this time tears at his chest more than all the others. Maybe that’s why he stood in his doorway longer than usual. Maybe that’s why he can’t quite carry the weight in his chest.

Dumping himself on dark mountains—creations of his and your design—Yoongi buries his face in those valleys. Inhales those aromas like some hit he can live off of for however many days left he needs. 

Desperately grasping for a fading world where only you two exist. Drifting. Dreaming. Disarmed by a vibration on his nightstand.

The fuck.

Who is texting him this early. There are only a few people he has notifications on for wait it’s probably you saying you’re home.

Peeling himself off the sheets with a groan, Yoongi simply shifts his upper body to reach for his phone, squinty-eyed as he checks his screen.

And he doesn’t see your name.

Dumbass: 1 New Message

But your brother’s.

What the hell does he—

Dumbass [07:30]: We need to talk.

…Shit.

Yoongi grips his phone in panic, ice water streaming through his veins and mind set ablaze with potential scenarios.

He’s awake. You went home. And he’s awake. Fuck, did anything happen? Did you say anything? What are the chances this text means he found everything out? 

Shit. 

Does Yoongi answer now? Or does he sleep and pretend that this is just a text and isn’t a problem at all? Think. Your brother may not even be referencing you, or him. Right? It could be something completely different. 

Why can’t he fucking move? 

Every regret Yoongi’s kept at bay floods his brain, crashing into assumptions of your mental state and creating a massive whirlpool of dread. Just answer. Don’t answer. Just answer. Don’t fucking answer. Suddenly, another alert lights his home screen and it’s a call oh fuck—wait… It’s Jungkook? 

Why not. Sure. What’s one more issue. 

Picking up, Yoongi runs hard fingers through his hair as he answers.

“Hey, you coming?”

“Huh?”

“We have that session in thirty.”

The what. The session? Oh, fuck. The session. Yoongi completely forgot they had a recording booked today because they were so hyped last night to get a date for the release party shit. Vacating his bed, Yoongi answers with a low, “Yeah, I’ll be there.” 

“Yeah, don’t be late. It’s those guys from before.” 

Fuck, it’s that one. The dudes that stopped by the studio just as things were wrapping up, shocking everyone when they scheduled some time. Highly successful musicians and performers booking something with a no name studio? Things are rolling in the right direction and coming along fast. 

But as things go. If they don’t take this shit seriously, everything can crash just as quickly.

“Heading out,” Yoongi finally says as he yanks a hoodie from his closet, and a loud vibration against his ear makes him flinch. 

Dumbass [7:40]: Heading over

Fuck!

“You okay?” 

“Shit, yeah.” Yoongi grips soft material before his phone hits his desk with a thump. Hastily dressing, he grunts, “Maybe. Might be like two minutes late.” 

“Nah, come now.” 

He’s heading over? Your brother? If that’s the case, there’s no way he doesn’t know. 

Fuck, relax. Don’t overthink. If anything, there wouldn’t have even been a heads-up. Yoongi figures he’d just find out as soon as he’s thrown against a wall. Or the ground. Or right onto his coffee table that this very guy helped pick out. Shit, he needs to know but he doesn’t wanna find out. 

But nevermind him. Are you okay? Swiping his device, Yoongi quickly types a text before fast-walking out of his room, going on autopilot when he assures into his receiver, “I’ll get there.” 

Yoongi [7:42]: Going to the studio

“On time? You better!”

Goddamn, he’s juggling too much right now. 

As Yoongi breaks into the dining room, he hears a rustling on the line before other voices jut through the speaker. Sounds like Hobi and Joon are already there, and the next thing said further spikes his stress level another peak, 

“We’re already cutting it close with the prep.” 

Fucking hell, the prep. The mics, the tracks, the setup. They forgot to do all of it. Something inside of him starts snarling and almost pounces through the phone, “Fuck, we should’ve been ready already.” 

“Shit, I know.” 

“We can’t keep doing this.” 

“Dude, relax, I get it.” 

“Do you? Cus this is… Fuck.” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get it done but it’s gonna be tight. Hey, where’s the… Damn it, what’s it called?”

Frustrated and rummaging through his pantry, Yoongi knows he sure as hell didn’t think about anything else as soon as he heard you crying on the line. If he had remembered while leaving the studio, he could’ve spared a brain cell to rush everyone back in. “The what.” 

“The… The overhead mic for the drums.” 

Of course, he’d repeat every decision he made last night. Over, and over, and over again. But any of them should’ve remembered this step before leaving, which pisses him off. The studio’s lack of experience is showing and it’s making him nervous. 

And Yoongi still doesn’t know what’s going on with his best friend. 

“We need two overheads for drums,” he corrects while swiping a water bottle from the counter. And he’s about to rattle off where they are when he feels another long buzz. 

Dumbass: Incoming Call 

Of fucking course. 

Mind whirring so hard he can feel steam, Yoongi quickly recalls where the mics are, “They’re somewhere in the back by the amps, but I gotta take this so I’ll see y’all there.” 

“Wait, where are the—”

Nope. Kook’s just gonna have to figure out whatever he’s asking on his own. Switching calls, Yoongi answers while opening his door, hastily putting out the food and water he grabbed from the kitchen. 

“Hey.” Fuck, is his voice shaking? What the hell is he gonna be faced with in the next few seconds? Can he freeze time and rewind and keep last night on repeat? “I’m about to head out.” 

“Don’t leave yet, I’m coming.” 

“No, just”—Yoongi dashes back inside before grabbing his wallet and keys from the bar—“You good? I can’t be late.” 

“Don’t lie. Y’all are done, right?” 

Don’t lie. Yoongi feels like hurling. 

“We got another project,” he huffs as he meets sunrise again, blazing a trail through his corridor and rounding the corner to his car. “A band’s coming in for a session.”

“Shit.”

There’s a pause on the line. And it’s the first bit of silence Yoongi’s had since he got the first bone-chilling text. Is his secret safe? Are you okay? Should he work extra late and run from a problem yet again? He’s very good at that. Running. If there was a medal for distance ran from issues, he’d be on the podium for both gold and silver.

“Okay, fine.” 

Relief is temporary. This could just be him biding his time in order to figure out what to do. Or maybe he truly doesn’t know what’s going on and Yoongi has a bit more uninterrupted time with you. 

Delusion is a great place to stay.

In any case, his friend’s behavior is alarming. What’s he doing up this early? And why is he wanting to swing by so bad if not to slice him into tiny pieces? Nerves slow on the downslope, Yoongi shuts his car door and lends his ear, “But serious, are you okay?”

“I just… Tch. I can’t even say it.”

He lets his friend go through a series of small sounds on the line, pulling out of the lot and hitting the road with tire squeaks. “What’s up,” he finally pushes, looking sideways and remembering the car ride home. 

There was no way Yoongi was gonna say no to you. He didn’t in this universe, and he’d bet his whole life he doesn’t in any other one, either. Not when your wings looked like you hadn’t used them in months.    

Pained, Yoongi hopes you’re completely fine and sleeping. Tucked away in a bed that captured part of his heart, visiting him in your dreams so that some version of him can be at your side. 

“Everything, Yoong.” 

But, as it so starkly turns out, he has to deal with reality. And with the fact that you’re just as far away as you were before last night. Maybe even further out of reach. 

So, so far away. 

“There’s a ton of shit, but. Fuck. Guess we’ll have to wait.”

Right now, deal with the studio prep and get through the session that will probably take awhile. After that, meet up with your brother and hope to god he doesn’t know. “K.”

“Just lemme know when you get back.”

Then, when all of that is done, Yoongi will be alone. Staring into the night and trying his hardest not to give up on himself again. “Yeah, I will.” 

“No running.”

“K.”

When the call ends, Yoongi lets out the harshest breath he’s ever let out in his life. Hoping you went right to sleep without dealing with any of that. 

“How did that sound?” 

Looking into the recording room, Yoongi raises a thumbs up as Hoseok clicks back to the beginning of the track. At their side, Namjoon hits a button on the console before speaking into a microphone, “Y’all wanna come hear it?” 

“We can move on. Wanna get the doubling done.” 

Huh? They’re gonna move onto vocal doubling already? With a few blinks, Yoongi think it’d be better if they—

“Okay!” Jungkook agrees from the couch, cutting out any other thoughts. “If any of you need adjustments, let us know.” 

“Yeah, actually, can one of you come switch this out?” 

Joon throws a suggestion over his shoulder, but Yoongi is already heading for the booth before his name is even mentioned. 

Get everything done smooth. Stay disciplined. Be professional, goddamn it.

Entering the soundproofed room will always make him want to occupy the mic instead. That feeling hasn’t gone away, and there have been countless nights where he’s spent time just sitting in this very space, visualizing what it would be like to work on this side of the glass someday. Deep down, Yoongi knows he could be somebody. But imposter syndrome runs deep. 

Avoiding cables strewn about the room, he offers his hands without a word, taking a guitar from the lead singer and making his leave—

“Hey.” He turns. “You’re good.” 

What? Where the hell did that come from? Did he even hear this guy right or was he just daydreaming again? Yoongi’s so thrown he can only stare with question marks for eyes. 

Amused, the singer simply points to the side of his beaming countenance. “You have an ear.” 

Huh. How the hell can this dude tell? All Yoongi’s done is indicate if a recording take was good or not, and given a few minuscule suggestions to the keyboardist and guitarist—instruments he’s well-versed in. 

Yet again, he’s so in his head that the man outright laughs, “Relax! You can talk to us like normal, you know. None of us care about etiquette shit.” 

“Shit, my bad,” Yoongi finally responds, instrument in his hands proving a little lighter. “Thanks.” 

“Of course.” Swishing long bangs to the side, the performer rests a hand on his hip. “We’re open to anything. We’d just tell you if your opinion sucks.” 

Eyes creasing with his lips, Yoongi puffs out a laugh. 

“Kidding. Only a little.”

Even though these people are world-renowned, they’re the first humble group to run through the studio. Everyone else has been either cocky, standoffish, or super opinionated, which made for unproductive hours.

Yoongi likes this change of pace. His shoulders start to feel composed, less scrunched than they had been since you left his place this morning. Comforted, he looks down at the guitar in his fingers.

Choosing not to say what he wants to. 

Should he? Nah. These guys know what they’re doing. Despite the nice offer to speak up, it’s not his place. Far from it. 

…But what would you tell him to do? What would you be proud of?

Committed to his answer, Yoongi grips the neck and decides without another thought, 

“Do the chorus again.” 

The whole studio stills. But all he’s looking at is the man in front of him, shaking his head when they ask, “Same way?” 

“Uhm. No.” As he hands the guitar back, Yoongi wordlessly checks if he can see the sheet music. When given the go-ahead, he scans the lines before pointing out a passage to note, 

“Mm. Here. Vocals are fine as is, but. Ride the build-up quicker and hit the next chord after a bit longer.” When he stops, he has to fight to ignore the eyes on him. There’s no doubt that his extended time in the recording room is being questioned, and his hand movements probably make him look stupid. “It’ll keep in time but hit harder.” 

Done. He said it. 

And the response that follows puts complete silence to shame. 

Instantly self-conscious, Yoongi swears he can hear Hobi’s pants shift in the control room through two closed doors shit he took it too far. Fuck, if these guys walk out now the studio is done for and he’ll be the only reason why—

“Well, goddamn. Let’s try that then.” 

Huh. They’re gonna take that? 

As he steps away, Yoongi feels slightly awkward doused in attention. Yeah, expressions seem like looks of approval, but they could just be polite. 

The man hums the chorus with Yoongi’s notes in mind, and his eyebrows tick a bit before he addresses the others in the room, “You heard him?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Yeah, we can try that.”

“Why didn’t you think of that, Woosung?”

Yoongi can’t keep his amusement under wraps as the singer laughs, addressing his keyboardist with a grin, “Damn, not even Sammy? Straight to Woosung, huh.”

“Sammy would’ve thought of it.”

Another bout of mirth spreads joy around the recording booth, and Yoongi shares a look with the singer before they both nod. 

“Let’s see how it sounds.” 

“K.”

Proud and adrenaline-filled, he turns to walk back to the door, head so buzzed he doesn’t know what to do. But when Yoongi can’t see into the control room anymore, he misses a stare through the glass.

A stare that lingers on him just a little too long. 

The rest of the session goes smooth, and Yoongi’s relieved that they haven’t asked him for anything else. 

After all. He doesn’t wanna push it, or step on Jungkook’s toes. What happened in the recording room only went down because you would have scolded him for not seizing that moment. And the suggestion he gave was lauded after the next take.

It was the first time since you kissed him goodbye that he felt a healthy pulse in his chest. Despite the chaos of the morning, amid the thoughts and worries penetrating his brain, you reached out and kept him steady in just the right moment. 

Fuck being his good luck charm. You give guardian angels shame and you don’t even know it. 

“Okay, we’ll take ten after this.”

Jungkook holds up an arm while agreeing, “Okay! We’ll save what we got!” 

Yoongi’s scanning the tracks when he feels hovering over his shoulder, and he already knows it’s the kid without looking. “Sup.”

“Nothing.”

“You sure.”

At this, Jungkook pauses before he sighs. “Yeah, it’s nothing,” he clearly lies. 

But Yoongi will let him figure out whether to run with that or not. He seems a little bothered about something, and it very well could be what happened in the booth. This is work, and they’re both adults. If he wants to talk about something, Yoongi will gladly have that conversation. 

Suddenly, a vibration erupts in his hoodie pocket, and his phone is fished out without him even thinking. 

Hustler: Incoming C—

Shit. You wouldn’t call him at work unless it’s urgent. Which is quickly throwing any possible theories about your brother not knowing out the window. 

But fuck, he can’t answer yet. There’s no way. Not only is he in very close range to someone you don’t wanna speak to right now, but he’d get blasted for being on his phone during a session. Hoping you can wait just two more minutes, Yoongi turns the buzzing off within his hoodie pocket, anxiously waiting for the take to start. 

Hoping to everything that Jungkook didn’t happen to see what was on his screen. 

As soon as everyone looks pleased—three takes and thirty minutes later—Yoongi quickly excuses himself from the control room. His head practically overheats on the way out back, but the gust of morning breeze serves to soothe it some. 

It’s been chilly lately. A bit grey. But whatever the weather has been outside, it’s no match for the atmosphere of his brain. 

Pulling his hood over hair he hasn’t cut in months, Yoongi looks around before ringing you up. Hoping that you’re good and didn’t have to go through a version of his panic earlier. 

Hustler: Outgoing Call 

Straight to voicemail? Shit.

Hustler: Outgoing Call

Fuck, still voicemail. Are you okay? On the phone with someone else? Did your brother actually end up finding out and things are worse than he thought? Clutching his phone, Yoongi glances up while giving it slight shakes, body on alert while deciding what the hell to do now. 

Maybe he can at least text you to ask what the hell happened this morning? Typing. Erasing. Retyping. Retrying. 

Yoongi [9:02]: Got a session today, doll. 

That’s what he had to say? That won’t do you any good, the fuck? Berating himself with a sigh, he takes a few steps while texting a follow-up. 

Yoongi [9:03]: Still going, but are you good?

Staring, it takes him a few seconds to decide if this is enough. If these two messages are gonna suffice to help him figure out what the hell he’s getting into later. 

It’s not. There’s too much he needs to know. 

Hustler: Outgoing Call 

When it doesn’t ring a third time, Yoongi gives up, cursing before turning and raking his hood off in distress.

Only to see Woosung materializing out of nowhere—relaxed, silent, and taking a drag. 

Shit. How much of that did he witness?

“Been there,” the man empathizes, blowing out smoke into crisp morning. After a swell of early traffic fills the alleyway, he continues, “In trouble?”

Great. With a sound of dejection, Yoongi answers to a stack of random boxes, “Might be.” 

“Don’t wanna commit anymore?” 

“I do,” Yoongi blurts without hesitation, looking right into eyes that have seen plenty more than he has. 

And it’s the first time he’s admitted anything out loud. To a stranger miles above him in status, no less. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he clarifies, “It’s just… There’s something I need to do first.” 

Wait a sec. Why the fuck is he talking about this so freely? This isn’t something he does. Privacy is practically his brand. So why is it easy to talk to this guy? It’s him, for fuck’s sake. But what’s done is done. Woosung probably won’t even remember this conversation even happened, or is already annoyed as hell he didn’t get a good read on him. 

To Yoongi’s surprise, his alley companion speaks again after another white wisp. “Mmm… Something you need to do?”

Well. Yoongi walked right into this one. Swallowing and knowing he can’t dip out, he sighs, “Some shit I wanna finish.” The smell of tobacco wafts around him when he looks at dulled skies. “Shit I need to get through.” 

An amused hum floats through empty space. “Been there, too.” 

Yoongi slowly turns to regard his client, watching as Woosung becomes very interested in wet concrete.

What kind of shit has this guy seen? Surely, he could have had some of the same experiences. The slight droop in his confident shoulders tells enough. But would he understand the exact same situation? 

No. At least, Yoongi hopes not. Quite fucking frankly, he hopes no one has had to go through the same shit that he has. 

“Let me know if you ever need help,” Woosung offers, shocking Yoongi to the point of speechlessness. As he drops his cigarette to squash it out, he runs a hand through wild dark locks. “We’ll be around again.” 

Wait. What? Yoongi can only blink. “Serious?”

“Yeah.” The man looks down the outside corridor, watching as people start heading to their jobs through a central courtyard. “Got a good feeling about this place.”

What does he mean by that. What can Woosung possibly mean by that what does he mean they’ll be back? To the studio? To the city? What’s happening. Yoongi simply lets a pause prevail before offering the only response he’s capable of,

“It’s the food next door, huh.”

That laugh has got to be top five in the world. Not as great as yours, but definitely up there in terms of what makes Yoongi feel like things are alright. Not that he’d ever admit that shit to anyone. Ever.

Mercifully, the conversation moves away from risky topics. Instead, there are talks about a tour one is planning for his band’s album, mixed in with mentions of equipment the other is saving up for. Then the rest isn’t about music at all.

Finally, it’s time for them to continue recording, so they know to head back inside. “Don’t wait,” Woosung advises as he turns on his heel. 

And Yoongi can only stare somewhere else. 

“If there’s something you need to get through...” 

Stare, and stare, and stare some more.

“Hit it until it breaks.”

Because he’s already aware. More than anyone.

As Woosung shuts the back door, Yoongi’s gaze finds the crushed cigarette at his side. Another reminder of how things were.

And a reminder that he’s still a fucking coward.

Hours later, Yoongi’s car awaits him in the lot. 

And when he realizes that you still haven’t responded, he shuts his door just a little too hard. 

Whenever his friend comes over for drinks, it’s always the same routine. 

Both of them don’t talk much, instead opting for a quiet greeting before someone dumps themselves on the couch while the other grabs a bottle and cups in the kitchen. As soon as glasses are filled, conversation sparks as a game plays out on tv—or a sportscasting show if nothing interesting is airing. 

But this time? None of it happens that way. Because when Yoongi opens his door, he’s pinned with a shadowed visage he's only seen piercing through others. 

And the whole arctic starts to seep into his bloodstream.

Raising a brow and giving space is his chosen course of action. Best to not disturb a beast if they’re already ready to lunge.

And his friend eyes him as he stalks into the house, scanning around in search of something—living room, dining table, even looking into the open doorway of the bedroom. 

Fuck. Relax. Don’t assume anything until things are on the table. Yoongi has got to pretend like tonight is normal and fine and that he’s obviously and positively not seeing and sleeping with his friend’s little sister. 

And that he most definitely didn’t eat you out where your brother is sitting now motherfucker he needs a drink. Or a smoke. Or both with a plane ticket out of the whole country. 

At least the television is already on. If it wasn’t for that ambiance, Yoongi’s head would be jam packed with every goddamn sound known to man. Including the adorable way you talk in your sleep, and how you strain so beautifully when you come fuck, fuck, fuck! Focus. 

What’s happened has happened. And what’s going to happen will happen. Whether it’s a consequence of his actions, or nothing to do with any of this at all. 

But when faced with everything smushing together at once? Yoongi will probably need to be revived no matter what the outcome. This is the most stressed out he’s been in years. 

Not only that, but his stress is more than obvious. Even now in the kitchen, he’s scanning through his bottles with a finger—an action he’s never done while sober since the choices are always predictable. Holy shit, he needs to pull it together. 

Has he ever been this panicked? Does he appear just as chaotic and disjointed as he feels? This is too new. This is very new and if he doesn’t regain control there’s no telling where this foreign road leads.

But the silence still remains as he turns. And apparently the road hits a dead end at his dining table. Since it’s occupied rather than the living room sofa. 

Sighing, Yoongi ambles to his friend, placing everything down with clinks and ignoring the way his furniture is getting burned through. Both whisky’s are ready. Yoongi’s already holding his. And your brother still hasn’t moved a muscle. Honestly, what the fuck is going on with—

“I went to Jimin’s last night.”

…What. 

Don’t react. He’s staring. Don’t fucking react. Take a drink. A sip. Pick up the goddamn glass. Doing so, Yoongi slowly brings the liquid to his lips, not quite following his own instructions as he asks behind a barrier, “How was it.”

His question is met with a laugh that isn’t funny at all. The kind that drags a finger along the chalkboard of your soul. And the next question directed his way pulverizes Yoongi’s denial,

“Care to share what’s been going on?”

He’s sick. Beyond sick. The room is closing in and closing in too fucking fast. Shit shit shit. There’s no way he saw. No fucking way. He parked down the street he deliberately stopped as far away as possible and you saw your brother’s car in your driveway. Did he get there after you left? And didn’t see you while also not hearing from hi—

“Why her, Yoong? Hmm?”

Fuck! 

Yoongi can’t feel the air in his lungs. Because there isn’t any. Just a barren wasteland of shriveled futures and cracks in the foundation of every relationship he’s had in his whole life. The millisecond before a crash and only his wheels spinning and spinning and spinning—

Your brother shoots out of the chair, making the glass in Yoongi’s palm feel infinitely more solid.

“I mean, fuck! After all the shit we’ve been through? You’re gonna go back to her?”

All the—shit, he can’t even—back to? Back to you? What does he mean by back to you? Does he know about the first ti—

Volcanic, the man interrogating paces beside the dining table. Back and forth, back and forth. A pause. Back and forth.

And Yoongi still feels frozen in time. Is this it? Is this when things come crashing down? Glass suspends in midair all around him; an orchestra trembles beneath his feet, waiting for the moment to rip into his rib cage with swift strokes and a flourish as he’s taken down. 

“Can’t fucking believe you.”

When Yoongi finally chooses to speak, what comes out only feels like a horrible attempt more than anything else, “Listen, it’s my fau—”

“What, you just decided to fuck that bitch again? Couldn’t stay away?”

Oh, fuck that. 

Wood scrapes into flooring as Yoongi vacates his chair, hard feet planted as he gets into the face of his best friend, his confidant, his day one. Only to speak so low only them two can hear, “How bout you use your fucking words already and I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah? Is that what you want?” They are only a breath apart. But no one’s going anywhere now. “Need me to spell it out for that fuckass brain of yours—”

“Say it—”

“Stop fucking your ex, dude!”

Yoongi’s back connects with the chair behind him, palms flinging back to brace himself through a jolt of pain. And his eyes go so wide they stretch at the edges.

…Motherfucker, what?

Your brother is not done in the slightest, but Yoongi can only stare as he’s being berated for something that is one-hundred percent news to him, too. 

“Everyone was happy when you finally left. All of us. Only for you to go and, what, get back with her?”

Nothing makes sense. This isn’t about you? Yoongi’s heart can’t even reset to start beating again. Everything is coming as shock after shock and there’s no way he can keep up at this pace.

His ex? Her? Where the fuck did that come from and why the hell does he of all people think that’s actually true?

“If you’re gonna be with her, you can count me out.” 

No. Never again. That would never, ever happen again. “The fuck are you even saying—”

“I’m not fucking joking, Yoong. If you’re seriously back with her then—”

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you heard, but I’m not.”

“So everything I heard was a lie?”

“Huh?”

“He told me!”

He—who? Who the fuck would say that? And when how what the fuck and why? Yoongi stares, chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Because he has a choice to make. Either he trudges into this lie and rubs sludge all over his bones, or he denies it like he wants because it’s not fucking true.

What the actual fuck. It’s already bad enough that someone sent this along the rumor mill. And it’s making him sick thinking about all the implications surrounding it. But it’s even worse that his best friend believes it so easily. He’s coming at him so quick without even asking if it’s true. 

The only silver lining—the singular bright spot in this hellhole—is that he can use it as an out. An out to protect you from wrath and further fury from your older sibling because if you were the rumor? He’d be laid flat on his floor next to a broken dining set.

“You gonna say anything or what?” 

Truthfully, Yoongi feels queasy knowing what he’s gonna do. But it’s for you. You, you, you. And for that, Yoongi will do anything. 

Even if it kills him.

“No, I, umm…” 

“No?” 

Just hurry up and fucking do it. 

Resigned, Yoongi lets the memories flood through. Every moment that’s haunted him from a distance charges forward as he surrenders to the pain of his past. “It’s—” Fuck, he can’t even begin to lie, head thundering, thundering, striking his heart in the rain. “I...” 

His friend halts. Tense before his shoulders fall back to normal. “You what.”

What the fuck does Yoongi do? What can he say when his brain is only firing up to beg him to run? Technically, he doesn’t have to say anything. He really doesn’t. But he can deflect. It’s what he’s best at, after all. He’s been doing it to you and he will do it again.

In the most defeated voice he can muster, Yoongi comes up with something that will placate his friend while still prolonging this horrid fib, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” 

“You sure?”

It’s true. More true than anything. “It’s over now.” 

A century passes. Then another. Then another. Every piece of furniture waits in silence as the television seeps back into his ears. 

Then his friend sighs, not looking back as he slumps into the same chair that you always occupy. And Yoongi hopes his sigh of conflicted relief isn’t witnessed. 

Following suit, he rubs his lower back before taking his regular seat again, not giving any shits about waiting to drink. 

His ex? 

As his throat warms, Yoongi starts to harden the more memories keep crashing into each other like jagged waves fuck he really hates how she was brought into this he swears as soon as he figures out who said this he is going to—

“Sorry.” Haze shattered, he lifts his gaze. “I’m so fucking stressed and hearing that last night just…”

“It’s done.” Yoongi reaches for the thick bottle, pouring more into his glencairn. Wanting to talk about literally anything else, he diverts the conversation, “But something else is up with you so say it.”

It works. The man inhales deep, rubbing his face with weary hands. When he rests elbows on wood, he finally talks about other things clouding his mind,

“Work is shit,” he groans downward. “They’re having me travel again.” 

“Domestic?”

“Yeah. But for longer. And I don’t…” Tapering off, he sits back, slowly playing with his glass. As if he doesn’t want to mention the next problem. 

When he finally does, Yoongi wholeheartedly understands the hesitation, “I dunno know what’s going on with my sister.”

Oh. Fuck, how the hell does he respond? Keeping his cool, Yoongi just repeats the question, taking out his phone and pretending to check his screen. “Your sister?”

“Yeah.” A sigh is sandwiched between explanations. “The past few months, I feel like.. They haven’t really been themselves.” 

A sudden crack splits him through.

“Not laughing. Not eating as much. Like even when they sound happy, I can tell it’s a front.. I don’t know.” 

The clunk of his phone hits the table very hard. 

No. No, no, no. Your texts have been so positive. So encouraging. Other than a few sad calls, you’ve been happy to hear from him just as he had been relieved to hear from you. Even in the car, you must’ve put your feelings lightly. 

Your wings. You’ve been enduring all that? For him? Yoongi’s heart rears its head, snagging one of his breaths and slamming both lungs into the floor.

And hatred paints his heart another shade darker.

“They finally went out last night, but. Didn’t come back until this morning.” Running rigid hands through his head, the man looks so pained. So helpless. “Same clothes, dude.” 

And Yoongi can only stare, feigning nonchalance but raging and tearing himself apart inside. “Mm.”

“I just… I know I suck at this, but. I don’t know what the hell to do. Or if I even do anything.” Your brother finally takes a swig, wincing at how much ethanol coats his tongue. 

Relax, relax, relax. As much as he wants to erupt on himself right now, Yoongi has to stay calm.

Not like he doesn’t know how. That’s usually how he operates, anyway. It’s hard to tell he’s struggling unless you look deep enough. And almost no one thinks to do so because his surface is all they want. 

But right now? He doesn’t think he can sequester this anger any longer. At him, his past, and his stupid present decisions. 

“Like I tried to say something but I just.. I felt like if I push too hard, they’re gonna shut down even more. Ever since that fight with Kook, it’s like..” 

Seeing an opening and keeping a neutral stance, Yoongi asks the most ironic question to date, “Are they seeing someone?”

At this, his friend shakes his head, eyes glued to dark amber liquid. When he answers, all the breaths in the world cut at once, 

“I think she feels all alone.” 

This hit is the strongest. Straight to the gut, breath stuttering and muscles clenching so hard they lock. It’s almost severe enough to affect how Yoongi feels around his eyes. 

“And it sucks not knowing what to do.”

Yoongi’s heart lurches, deflating and slipping out of the crack in his chest. Piercing on the jagged edges before slumping down onto a table that continues to judge him.  

You’re hurting. Your brother’s hurting. And it’s all his goddamn fault. Why can’t he just break free and admit shit? Why is he still haunted by the phantoms of his past? Why is he still so fucking weak? It’s clear that he hurt you. For months. You’ve been cheering for him that whole time while you’ve been visibly broken and it’s all because of his dumbass decision to—

“I’m heading out again.”

Yoongi raises his eyes. Because he can’t seem to move anything else. “When.”

Your older sibling takes a slower, more measured sip. Looking towards the channel playing in the living room, he answers, “After our game. Dinner Friday, game on Saturday, fly out Sunday.” 

“Mm. We’ll still be here,” Yoongi assures, keeping things as normal and neutral as he can. “Just like last time.”

How ironic. How hypocritical. He hasn’t been there for you in the slightest so how the fuck can he say that with a straight face. 

“Thanks. I know it’s a lot for y’all but..”

Not at all. Yoongi is more determined than ever to make everything up to you. It’s the least he can do after putting you through something he decided on the fly. 

On the run.

“Don’t worry about that,” he vows into his drink. Honestly, if you’ve been having second thoughts about this whole thing, he doesn’t blame you. Absolutely doesn’t blame you if you realize you’re better than this. But Yoongi’s at least gonna apologize in every single way he can. As soon as he possibly can. “We got it.” 

“K.” The man finishes his glass and goes to pour more. “Did I ever mention that she liked you?”

Now what— Coughing on whisky is a bitch and a half. Hitting his chest while both eyes squint from burn, Yoongi croaks out his exact thoughts, “What.”

At this, his friend finally breaks into his regular smile. Setting the bottle down with a hollow clunk, he points, “Don’t you fucking get any ideas. Jimin’s already on my shit list.” He scoffs out a laugh. “But it was obvious when we were younger.”

And Yoongi can only cough some more. He shakes his head through the sting, swallowing and trying to compose himself. He doesn’t know where the hell that came from, but he hopes your brother will understand when all is said and done. Even though he’s been the reason you’ve been so…

Yoongi almost fucking confesses.

“You’re a good person,” he blurts instead. Whether the guilt or last cough pushed it out, that’s still on the table. “You don’t suck at what you think you do.”

“You think so?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

The hell? Does this dude really not see how successful he is? How much he’s overcome and conquered and sacrificed? Truthfully, Yoongi wouldn’t be where he is today if not for your brother. Him. Jimin. You. Anybody. Which is what makes this ongoing betrayal… 

Unprecedented.  

“You’re the best out of all of us.” 

Your brother finally looks at him, though Yoongi isn’t doing the same. But he can still tell when a fist is held out for him to bump, so he does.

And they both share a drink in respectful silence. 

After a moment of them watching the tv, the man finally sighs. “Guess we did shape up pretty nice.” When he’s agreed with, he keeps going with a grin. “We were so fucking bad.”

Yoongi can only chuckle, much better memories fighting off the terrors. “Old me was a little shit.”

“You still are.”

“Says you!”

“I still am, too!”

Laughs precede big swigs of whisky and comfortable quiet. Bit by bit, shoulders start to relax with the surrounding air, and Yoongi lazily releases tension in his neck. 

After a few more pours, your brother decides to call it, using the bathroom before announcing that he’s gonna head out. Yoongi gets up from his chair to clasp hands goodbye, not expecting to hear one more plea,

“Break up with her, Yoong.” 

Shit. He sighs, and their conversation continues from the dining table to the front door. “It’s not like that.��� 

“Yeah?” 

“It’s over now.” 

“For good?” As they stop beside the coat closet, your brother pins him with a look. “I was about to drive over and break down the door.”

Even though Yoongi shares a tsk with him, he can’t help but imagine what could’ve happened if that was the case. And it sends an unwanted jolt of chills. 

“Serious. I’m gonna keep saying this, but. she was just making you miserable, dude.” He slips on his shoes, smacking his foot on the ground to push one in place. “I’m sure it was good at first, but I mean… You gotta move on. You deserve better than that.” 

Anything would be better than that. Yoongi just disagrees with the whole deserving part. “I guess.” 

“You sure it’s over?”

“Yeah,” he assures, because that is something he intends to keep true forever. “It is.” 

“Good.” Keys jingling, your sibling then points into the open area with his whole arm, seven words leaving his mouth like ice, 

“Then get rid of that fucking guitar.” 

Ah. Among all the things. Of course he would bring that up, too. Jaw working, Yoongi looks away, now assaulted by all the torturous thoughts surrounding that painful reminder and fighting them off with no success. 

Get rid of it? He’s been trying. 

For three. Fucking. Months. 

“I might.” 

“…K.” 

And his best friend departs, leaving Yoongi inside and staring at the same black spot he’s kept in the corner for years. It has mocked him as he struggles. Laughed at him whenever he’s tried to throw it out. And aside from the times he’s made you feel better stinging himself on those strings, he has accomplished nothing except letting it win.

Pissed off and doused in guilt, Yoongi yanks himself away from the door, the instrument, and everything else except for his bed.

Keeping his shadow exactly where it stands. 

Yoongi knows he needs to talk to you.

But his phone exists somewhere on the other side of his bedroom door.

And he doesn’t have the strength to go get it. 

What time is it? 

All that greets him is darkness. 

Nothing new, but darkness all the same. 

Why was she mentioned? What does that mean? 

He needs to call you. He’s lying to his best friend. 

Her? You. His sheets still smell like you. 

Inhale. Breathe. Inhale. 

He needs to call you. But he’s so, so tired. 

And the darkness pulls him back under. 

Without even telling him the time. 

Buzzing. 

Faint, gentle buzzing softly lifts Yoongi’s eyelids before a loud series of smacks causes him to rush out of bed what the fuck? 

Oh. His phone fell outside. Fucking hell, his heart’s beating way too quick for that to be the only thing that happened. 

Head in his hands, Yoongi sighs deep before making his way to the dining table. And it takes all of his strength to bend down to reach for his phone. 

Hustler: Missed Calls (6)

Dumbass: 1 Message

Hustler: 3 Messages 

Chim: 7 Messages   

Chim: Missed Calls (3) 

Holy fuck. 

With only the light of his phone illuminating the dark, Yoongi rings Jimin up. His heart’s a little disappointed it wasn’t you calling just now, but it’s probably best to stay away while his brain is so scattered and torn. 

“Oh, fuck. There you are.” 

“Mm.” 

“Don’t scare me like that, bro. I was starting to get ready to drive over—” 

“It’s fine,” he juts in. “What’s up.” 

Alright, maybe he shouldn’t be an asshole. There’s no reason to let his lingering shadow from earlier control his temper now. Jimin’s just being himself, for fuck’s sake. 

“I, umm. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” 

Now that’s not what Yoongi expected at all. “For what?” 

There’s another pause on the line, and his reaction is immediate when he knows for a fact Jimin is fighting back tears. 

“I… I got so drunk last night, I—And I—”

Shit. A sinking feeling starts to weigh Yoongi down, his center pulling the rest of him in like a black hole. And he doesn’t need to hear the rest of this to know what this call is about. 

“He was looking for her, Yoong, and you weren’t there, either. He had this look, I—I couldn’t think of anything else to say in the moment and I told him—”

Jimin can’t even finish his confession. And it hits right in the gut. 

Despite his perceived persona, Yoongi doesn’t like hearing people cry. At least, if they don’t deserve to or don’t deserve to be sad—or if they’re you. He could care less about the rest.

But Jimin is one of the only people that can get him like this: eyes stinging at their edges and his chest concave. In the dark, though, no one can tell. No one can see him.

So he can openly swipe at his eyes before dumping tired limbs into a chair, catching his forehead in a damp palm. 

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” 

Exhaling through his nose, Yoongi tries his best to calm his emotions. Because they are still raging and it’s going to take all of him to quell this tempest. 

Jimin knows more than anyone what this means to him. To you. The time you spent apart? If it wasn’t for his friend, Yoongi may have been in a much different position. If this was the only thing Park could do, then his effort has to be acknowledged. It worked like a fucking charm.

But goddamn, Yoongi wishes Jimin thought of literally anything else. He could’ve made up some random, some fling from another city, the damn studio itself. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he finally rasps out. “It’s just been a fuckin’ day.” 

Jimin sniffles before cursing at himself and, judging by the sounds on the line, Yoongi figures he’s opening his fridge. If he reaches for soju, that would not be surprising in the least, and now that sounds like a good idea.

“Same. Gah, I just… I should’ve warned you. I didn’t know he went over there.” 

“He told you?” 

“I called him after you didn’t answer earlier.” 

“Oh. Yeah, I passed out after he left.” 

“Ah.” 

Something shuts before there’s a crisp clink on the line, validating exactly what Yoongi was thinking. 

“I really am sorry. What did you end up saying?” 

“That it’s done.” 

A hum. 

“That’s very true.” 

There’s a question that Yoongi thinks to ask. Context that he needs. But as important as this information is, Yoongi doesn’t feel like talking about it right now. Or ever. But now still counts. So he switches the conversation over to something less daunting, “Practice still on tomorrow?” 

When Jimin laughs out of surprise, it gives Yoongi the smallest kick of energy.

“Ah, someone actually ready to go for once?” 

“Yeah. The plan is to make this game quick.” 

A hearty swallow spills out of the speaker before a hum follows, 

“Mm, that reminds me. Got something that might help with that.” 

What the hell does that even mean? “Huh?” 

“I’ll bring it over tomorrow. You might find some good uses for it.”

Yoongi rubs the grogginess still clinging to his face. “All these years and you’ve never given me a straight answer.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

“Knowing the answer.” 

At least Jimin’s back in a good mood. Or a better state than puffy-eyed and regretful. He doesn’t have to share the pain in this, too. It was an honest mistake. 

“You’ll know it when you see it.” 

“Annoying.”

“Love you, too!” 

Yoongi’s huff billows through his nose, and Jimin’s energy almost brings enough strength for him to clear the table. 

Ehh. He’ll leave it alone. He’s been pretty good at that lately, too, no matter how early or late it is in the night. What time even is it? Checking his phone, Yoongi’s brows crease when he figures that out. Why the hell are they even on a call right now? “Wait, is it really three?” 

“Huh? Yeah. I’m telling you, dude, I was getting worried.” 

He was really about to drive over? “Sorry. I really did just pass out.” 

“Mm. Well, I’m gonna go do that now.” 

“K. Same time tomorrow?” 

“Ah, a little earlier. Just so I can give this to you before everyone else shows.” 

That just makes Yoongi infinitely more curious. “Seriously, what did you get?” 

“Relax! You will like it.” 

“Chim, I swear—”

“You’ll thank me later bye!”

As soon as Jimin disappears from the line, Yoongi is left alone again.

Exactly where he always ends up. 

Exactly where he doesn’t want to be. 

But now that he’s done dealing with those notifications, Yoongi roams lidded eyes over his screen again. 

Wait. You called him six times? Fuck. What did you text? Were you wondering where he was, too? 

Hustler [20:01]: HOLY FUCK!! my phone died after i tried calling you this morning and i just fully woke up to charge it😭 he’s not home so call whenever  

Yoongi clutches his phone a little tighter. 

He very much would’ve rather been in your bed with you all day. 

That sounds like fucking bliss. 

Hustler [23:37]: tried calling but he’s home now. are you ok?? idk what’s going on with him but i think we need to be careful

Shit, Yoongi didn’t get to tell you. You’ve probably been worried about that every second you’ve been awake today. 

And he couldn’t even make it out of his goddamn room to help. 

All he comes with is worries for you. What kind of shit is this? What is he even doing? He even outright told you that you were dating only for that to be ripped from your hands for months. Why are you still giving someone like him a chance? 

Hustler [23:40]: but all i wanna do is see you

Fucking hell.

Nothing in the world can stop his heartbeat quite like you can. With that smile, or those eyes, or the simple shit like this. Not even lightning can strike him the same way. 

Despite the consistency Yoongi has with admitting his own shortcomings, and despite the way he keeps reminding himself he doesn’t deserve you…

All he wants to do is see you, too. 

You’ve been more than he ever would’ve imagined—your consideration, your intellect, your mind. And there have been times when you’d look at him as if he was the center of your galaxy. 

After all this time. All these days and nights. 

You still don’t realize that he was destined to orbit you.  

It’s been decided long before his mind was made up—at least, the part of him that doesn’t traverse the dark side. His heart had been tugging him to you ever since that rainy day, no matter where he’s drifted or which direction he’s gone in. All of them lead back into your arms. 

But just like the feeling he gets walking into the recording booth, imposter syndrome eats him alive and doubt scavenges on what’s left. 

He will never be good enough for you. One of these days, you will realize that you don’t have to settle for him. It’s good now, but you’ll only give him so many chances, which he is swiftly running through at breakneck speeds. 

How fucking stupid. Having these thoughts while wanting nothing more than to hear your voice. 

Just like everyone else, you’ll eventually be done passing through. His winter will return after your inevitable departure, all the warmth you give focused on something else that deserves it more. 

Something that isn’t broken. 

Yoongi whips his head up at the sound of buzzing, noticing thin lines of light beneath his phone on the table. 

What. No way. 

From the rapid beats inside his chest, he shoots his hopes right into the dark. 

And they burst into beautiful sparks when he reads his screen. 

Hustler: Incoming Call 

But just like the streaks of color he witnessed with you on that balcony, his brightness is short lived. Because as soon as Yoongi answers, the way your throat constricts scorches his windpipe through.

And the first thing you attempt to get through makes his eyes shut tight. 

“Are we… is this over?” 

Fuck.

“I get it, if we are. If you—if you don’t wanna do this with me anymore.” 

Fuck. Fuck everything this is not happening right now. “Hold up,” Yoongi breathes, body on full alert. “What’s going on?” 

“I thought… When you weren’t picking up, I—”

“Breathe, babe,” Yoongi softens, hating, hating, hating himself all over again. “I passed out before you called. That’s it.” 

“Oh. Shit, I really thought—”

“You would know,” he whooshes, syllables squeezed out by the mountain of regret on his back. After hearing what he put you through? Hearing how you sound now? There’s no way he can do that shit again. No more disappearing from the grid because he can’t fight himself. “You would know if I was done.” 

Your sniffle sinks the ship with his heart inside. 

“Are you? With me?” 

Yoongi folds, fingers digging through his hair and blocking it in hard chunks. The amount of things he wants to say to you could wrap the whole world before repeating. But he settles with a truth he can say out loud, 

“No way in hell, doll.” 

Please. Don’t cry. Because he can only handle feeling his eyes sting so much in one night. There’s only so much he can take before he’s grabbing his keys and speeding over—friends and brothers be damned. 

“Okay… I’m just. It’s been a day.” 

That’s okay. 

Because he’s had a day, too. 

“I don’t wanna bother you with it, though, it’s so late.” 

Please keep going. 

Please don’t leave him alone. 

“Talk to me.” 

Like a gentle stream, your recap—though not ideal—washes away the weariness from Yoongi’s eyes. Lifts the weight he bears on his shoulders, even if just a little bit. 

You’re so good at that. 

“Well. Umm. He saw me coming home this morning. And, umm. It was weird. I don’t know why but I think we have to be really careful. And ugh, it—. It sucks because he’s going on a trip soon and I don’t wanna stress him out even more but I—” 

Shit, you’ve probably been holding all of this in ever since you got up. You don’t know that your brother believes something entirely different. But of course you’d be considerate, even now. That’s just who you are.

“I, umm. I feel so fucking bad about it but I don’t wanna mess him up right now. Or maybe he knows but just won’t say it? Fuck, sorry, I’m trying not—to—”  

The phone goes mute, and Yoongi’s head suddenly weighs ten times heavier. 

“He doesn’t know, babe,” he soothes, hating how he can’t be there to comfort you with more than his word and waves in the sky. 

If he was stronger, things could be different by now. Vastly different. Vastly better. You would cry less, he knows that for damn sure. Weak, weak, weak. That’s all he fucking is. 

The only one he seems to be strong for is you. “He came over earlier.” 

“Fuck, really?” 

“Yeah.” 

You pause, seemingly to roll this information around that beautiful mouth of yours, and Yoongi has the strongest yearning to kiss all your worries right out of it. 

“What did he say?” 

Shit. You’ll just have to forgive him later. Because Yoongi chooses not to tell the whole truth. You don’t need to bear the same worries as him, anyway. They aren’t yours. He will shoulder all of those on his own. Because he’s the reason for them in the first place. “Nothing about us.” 

“Oh, thank fuck.” 

Good. Your relief is all that matters. But Yoongi still feels bad for not being able to pick himself up. You could’ve known that a lot sooner if he was stronger. If he was better. “So don’t worry, doll.” 

“Okay. What about you? Are you okay?” 

Huh? Your questions catch him completely off-guard. It’s almost comical how his first reaction goes straight to a No. But sticking to his earlier stances, he won’t bother you with any of that. There is a truth that he can admit. One that’s always true and will continue to be so. “Just wanna see you.” 

And this is when his eyes slowly shut. Don’t. Don’t cry.

“Me, too, baby.” 

Hearing that? Chipped and broken from your lips? That is another thing Yoongi can’t handle. His heart beats once before it free falls, and he clutches his phone just a little tighter. 

Fuck everything. He’s gonna find a way to do this. All of it.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“You will?”

He’ll figure out how to move mountains to make it up to both you and your brother. 

“Just a little longer.”

He has to.

“Okay.”

Neither of you deserve this. And he doesn’t deserve either of you. Truly, the only thing he deserves is to be alone. And judging by the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time before you start resenting this behavior and leave, too. 

“Thank you.”

What? Something in Yoongi flickers, and he lifts his whole head to eye his screen. 

“For putting up with me.”

Oh. Of course you’d assume you’re the issue. Seems like you need the same type of assurance that he does. Both of you the same? Who would’ve thought his bruised soul would sync up with a perfect one like yours. 

At this, he holds his breath before chuckling soft. “This has been the highlight of my day, doll,” he admits, finally breaking into a tiny smile and sitting back.

“Really?”

Wait. There was another good part of his day. But he wants to save that for when he can tell you in person. “One of them. But you’ll hear about the other one later.��

“Boo.”

Cute. Wait, isn’t it absurdly late? You have to be up for work in mere hours. It’s a miracle you reached out when you did. “Don’t you have to be up soon?”

“A ha… Yeah.” 

“What are you still talking to me for?” 

“I miss you.” 

Well. That’s not something that he expected. And your admittance being so immediate actually sends shivers down his arms. 

Yoongi can only laugh to himself. He knew he had it bad, but this feeling is something else. “Don’t do that.” 

“Don’t do what? Miss you? Yeah, right.”  

God. You’re getting too fucking good at this. He’s gotta fight back or else his throne will be taken before he even sees you again. “Just a bad night to say it, doll.” 

“Why?” 

Perfect. “Cus I’m willing to get in the car.” 

“Fuck.” 

Yoongi happily lets his mouth slant when you groan, chuckling into the receiver and getting up to clear the table. When he flicks on the kitchen light, he doubles down, “Wanna try again?” 

He knows you’re gonna say no. Even though your brother doesn’t know, it’s definitely not a proper time to sneak you out—as much as he fucking wants to. Fuck, to be the one sneaking you out of your house… Maybe there’s another version of you both out there that’s done it. A version of him watching a version of you creeping out to his car, face shining in nightfall and etching a permanent smile into his heart.

“I hate you.” 

Yoongi should’ve expected that. The sudden laugh that flings out into his liquor cabinet ricochets off multiple bottles, and he shuts it while sporting a wide grin. “That’s better.” 

“Ha ha.” 

You’re smiling, too. Cute ass. Just the fact that he knows makes him excited for the future, and he’s determined to make it count. Make it worth it. You deserve every goddamn apology he can give. “I miss you, too, babe,” he whispers, grabbing the glasses from the table to wash in his sink. 

“Nu uh! You hate me, too.” 

Wait. Did you…

Did you just pout? 

Hell no, that’s outright cheating. That’s when Yoongi will never be able to win. Putting the phone down, he promptly states his new plan into a basin, “Nah, I’m going to sleep.” 

“Wait, huh? Why!” 

“Nothing.” 

“I swear to god—” 

“Nothing at all,” Yoongi lies, voice straight as he can muster while hot water runs over his hands. It’s a good kind of sting as his chilled skin adjusts, and he cleans one glass before he hears you ask in his ear, 

“Getting ready for bed? Or are you in the kitchen?” 

The smallest smile graces his face. “Guess.” 

“Kitchen.” 

The hell? “How’d you know?” 

“You’re always in there.” 

Can’t deny that. The glasses are both set to dry in the dishwasher as Yoongi’s amusement dies down, and his next comment flows out before he can think much of it, “You like to keep me in here.” 

“It does seem to be where we end up, huh?” 

“It does.” Which is fine by him. He’ll never forget all the times you’ve been in here. Your laughter and your storms, he will remember them all. 

“The world said let them cook.” 

Your giggles will be the fucking end of him one day. Fuck, he can’t wait to see you. He may even find a way to see you before the game. 

But for now, Yoongi will figure out how to talk to you, every day, no matter what. Texts, calls, whatever the fuck. The effort has got to show from now on. No more of this dark headspace shit. He needs to try harder and figure it out faster. For you. 

“Go to sleep, doll,” he huffs with full cheeks. 

After another adorable batch of sounds, you rustle on the line before sighing, 

“You better sleep, too.”

“I will.” 

With a blink, Yoongi notices two things. One, he just cleared his table and cleaned up without even thinking. And two, despite feeling like absolute shit the entire day and dreading the coming of night, falling asleep won’t be an issue. 

Because of you. It’s always you. 

Maybe there’s a way out. Maybe he can finally face it all and come out on the other side. “Talk to you tomorrow, babe.”

“I’d like that. And you’re sure he doesn’t know?”

Just like that, the demons are knocking again. Closing his eyes, Yoongi murmurs into the receiver, “I’m sure.” 

There will come a time when he will tell you. But that will be way in the future, when he is ready. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he’s telling the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough for it to calm your nerves. 

“Okay. Good night, baby.”

One more heartbeat to get him through the night. 

“Night, doll.”

When the phone cuts, Yoongi’s hand falls, his stare shifting straight to the living room. 

Right towards the corner that stares back. 

It’s been five days.

But it feels like you’ve aged twenty-eight years.

Ever since your brother confronted you—after your much needed reunion with his best friend—you’ve been floating through time. Lost. Confused. Wondering why that conversation went the way it did and gnawing at your sanity bit by bit. 

And even though Yoongi explicitly told you he didn’t say anything concerning your relationship, you still haven’t shaken that feeling. No matter where you are, who you’re with, or on a pretty Friday like this one, you feel… Strange. 

When you saw your brother waiting, you for sure thought you were gonna get grilled. It was a given you were gonna break as soon as he started asking deeper and more specific questions. The fallout was gonna happen in your own house right at your door. 

…So what in the fuck was that?

You shift your legs, the chill of the office failing to comfort you in your manufactured, building distress. 

Somehow, that version of the conversation proved much, much worse. Because now you’re spiraling trying to figure out why he just took your lie as the truth. Truthfully, you feel nauseous. And as much as you need to get some semblance of closure, you still feel hesitant. Because if he’s just biding time? He’s not just thinking about what to do with you. 

He’s thinking about what to do with Yoongi, too. 

This is so hard. 

The only thing—the only thing—keeping you grounded. Is Yoongi himself. 

Ever since the call you never thought he’d answer, you’ve been contacted every night. What was once days of radio silence quickly shifted to him reaching out however he could, hours of the day be damned. Just last night, in fact, Yoongi sent you texts at four in the morning, and you beam just thinking about what he said so casually.  

Yoongi [3:57am]: That keyboard I told you about is fucking dope. Just got it today and it won’t let me sleep lmaooo

Yoongi [3:58am]: I was gonna say sorry for texting but fuck it you’re getting all the updates :) 

No matter what it is, be it a text, call, or video chat, Yoongi seems fully committed and in the moment. Present. And it’s been… Really nice. If you didn’t have your brother’s shadow hovering over your brain, life would be practically perfect. 

Forcing yourself to actually work, you manage to get some small things done. Even the meeting you attend goes smoothly and you leave any outside worries on the other side of those glass walls.

So when you get back to your desk, an awaiting paper bag makes you pause. And your whole body prepares to weep.

Only one person has ever sent you food while you’re at work. And staring inside the parcel, you would’ve been able to tell who it was from even if said person had never sent any before.

There’s a small note on top of a to-go container—one that you immediately recognize as that super good restaurant next to Jungkook’s studio. 

What the hell? How did Yoongi know you wanted some this whole week but didn’t wanna risk being so close? With careful fingers, you pluck the tiny paper from the bag, opening it with care before your eyes get so teary eyed you can’t even read.

Tonight.  

This man.

I got the next one.

This wonderful, charming man. 

But you’re getting what I need so here’s the list:

Goddamn it, Min Yoongi. 

Seeing an actual list of food squeezes a laugh through your throat in a squeak, tears rushing out of your ducts before they’re hastily swiped. 

After five days. Yoongi really just sent you on a grocery run to surprise you with another meetup.

The gesture is so him that you cannot help but shake your head, ruefully huffing to no one and pocketing the note in your bag. And all your worries scatter even further. 

A dinner before the big game is risky, for sure, but at this point you couldn’t care less. Your brother has his own work outing tonight, anyway, and you are dead set on breaking all of this to him soon.

Even though you are very much unprepared. And he is going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t know already. Fuck.

You’ve had all five days to think it over. All the possible combinations and possibilities and outcomes. Some of them are extreme, some of them are hopeful. But for a majority of these projections, you have a feeling that none of you are gonna leave it without wounds. 

And you don’t know how you’re gonna save both of them if theirs are cut too deep. 

Regardless, that’s in the future. Not now. Right now, you are staying in the present and working like molasses until you can jet out the door, nary a care nor concern weighing on your heels.

Tonight. He’s gonna cook for you?

You’ll have the first substantial meal you’ve had in months.

Even though you want nothing more than to see Yoongi, your nerves are still buzzing and bumping into each other nonstop. There’s a lot you still need to know. Like why he was radio silent for months, and why your brother has been a little weird this whole week. 

Save it for later. Hopefully Yoongi will tell you why eventually. Or that gap will stay elusive to your brain forever.

Sliding into your car, you dump your bag in the passenger seat before pulling out the list, clutching it close and taking a leap that could either calm your nerves or spike them. 

Yoongi: Outgoing Call 

When he picks up, you legitimately don’t answer. Because even after all this time, you still can’t quite function when you hear that deep voice addressing you directly. 

“Hey.” 

All you have to do is say something. Anything. You could rattle off the damn list, stumbling over all the syllables just like they’re currently smushed together in your fingers. 

But you don’t snap out of this trance until he speaks again. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi,” you squeak out, clearing your throat while watching other people walk to their cars. “Hi, sorry. I just umm.” 

You just what? Somehow lost all sense of language just from him saying hi? Get it together. Stop that racket in your stomach and say what you were gonna say. “Thank you for the food. I’m off work now so I’m heading to the store.” 

He simply huffs a quiet laugh.

“Get whatever you want, too. Just let me know how much it is.” 

Huh. Did Yoongi just say all those words in that order? If you heard him right, forget the damn food. You’re close to speeding directly to his place and breaking down the motherfucking door. “Oh, I definitely will,” you respond with instead of hauling ass, the words pushing through your lingering smile. “And don’t worry about that, I got it.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah! I got big girl money now.” 

Yoongi laughs again on the line, fuller and closer this time. Are you on speaker? 

“It’s like that? Maybe I should work there, too.” 

“Oh, you’d hate it,” you giggle, scheming hard in your head for tonight already. Pretty bubbles in your ribs lift all your spirits. “I’m actually pretty bossy here.”

The groan that seeps through your car should be illegal. 

“That is literally what I’ve been wanting to see.” 

It’s your turn to chuckle as you finally make your way out of the parking lot, heading right to the market that you know for a fact has all of what he’s asking for. “I’m only that way at work, though.” 

“Do better.” 

Your immediate response makes his laugh crunchy in the speakers, and you go along with him because life is good. Life is fucking great right now. “Never mind, you’re paying. And I’m getting stuff for dessert now, too.” 

“What? Who said anything about dessert?” 

“Me,” you huff out in pride. Since he wants to see that demanding side come out so bad. With a fleeting thought, you think about what it could be like if you end up confident enough to— 

“I’m starting to regret this.”

“Regret what?”

“Everything.”

Liar! Your cheeks hurt as you look both ways before making a turn. “Can’t fool me. You’re excited.”

“I am.”

The way there was no hesitation sends shivers up your spine. But it’s partly because you thought you’d be faced with another joke or dig. Not a sudden one-eighty. Stopping at a light, you clear your throat before shyness puffs right out of it. “Well, good,” you state while checking your mirrors. “Cus I am, too.” 

“That’s a given, though.”

“Excuse you.”

Yoongi laughs before you hear the sound of cabinets, and you wonder which ones he could be touching. 

“Mm, babe. One more thing.” 

Can he stop making your heart beat two times at once? “Hmm?”

There’s a little bit of pause, followed by the clank of a pan on metal. When you hear another hum, you wonder what he could possibly—

“I think we’re out of condoms.” 

Who is out of what. If you weren’t still at a red, your foot would’ve slammed on the gas because what the fuck! All you can manage out are sounds without substance, random syllables, gibberish. Nothing is computing in your head. 

“Wait. Or are we?”

Okay, Yoongi needs to stop with that two-letter word before your behavior turns downright criminal. With as much seriousness as you can manage, you accuse, “Are you just fucking with me?”

And his response launches you forward just as the light turns green, 

“Yeah. That’s why we’re out of—”

“Alright!” you cut in, stopping stopping stopping him because for whatever reason, this conversation is too much. Despite seeing this very man naked in many, many ways, just having this talk with him is making you shier than ever before. “Guess I’ll, umm. Get those, too.”

“Nah, you don’t have to.”

“Oh. Found some?”

“No.”

Wait. If he didn’t find some why is he telling you that you don’t have to— “Oh,” you peep in realization. A very sudden, jaw dropping realization. “Goddamn it, you’re too distracting now, bye.”

And he finally breaks with laughter that’s contagious as hell. Which isn’t fair when you’re pretending to be upset with him. Even when you can’t see Yoongi, you can imagine the way his cheeks rise and his eyes crease. The way the whole room illuminates when he’s packed with happiness. 

And you want that to be the case forever. 

“You’re just lucky I’m not there with you.” 

“Yeah, you’d be annoying as hell.” 

“Damn!” 

As the market comes into view, your teeth shine as you grin, roasting this man quickly becoming one of your favorite pastimes. 

“To be fair,” you start to amend, fingers drumming on the wheel as you decide whether or not to say what you want. After deciding that there’s no wrong answer here, you softly admit, “I really do wanna get groceries with you.” 

There’s no words that come out in response. Only the slight movements of shuffling and water running and what could be more cabinets closing. But you don’t really know for sure—

“It’s gonna happen, doll.” 

You clutch the wheel.

“Cus I want that, too.”

One of these days you’re gonna see this damn cat again. 

Foot connecting with Yoongi’s door, you grunt as multiple bags burden your limbs, pride digging divots along your arms—second trips be damned. 

It doesn’t take long for him to let you in anyway, and you swoon at the way he doesn’t even ask while taking some of your baggage. But the kiss on your cheek makes your heart bang into everything between the front door and the kitchen. It’s so distracting that you barely smell the spices greeting you, too. 

“Thanks for getting all this,” Yoongi says as you both cross onto tile.  

“Of course.” Lifting the much lighter load that you have, you revel in the small thumps and thuds on his counter. Not really knowing why. “Let’s put this up before I yell at you.”

His laugh comes out in hisses while you both start reaching into bags. “For what!” 

“Sent me everywhere to find some of this shit.” 

“You could’ve asked somebody.” 

Feeling a bit silly and high off his presence already, you repeat his words in a goofy mocking tone, and the way he blows out air sends your belly fluttering. 

And just like that, things are back to normal again. No worries about your sibling, or work, or anything else looming by the door. Inside is what matters, and the whole apartment fills with jabs and jokes as groceries find their homes.

But Yoongi finds a bag you had separated from the rest, and you snap your mouth shut when he looks inside, something rising in your core when he turns to you with an eyebrow raised. And a smirk so salacious it makes you quiver. 

“What about it,” you squeak out, crumbling when he simply takes the bag and flings it through his bedroom door. “You said you—we were out, so…” 

“That’s a big box, doll,” he points out on his way to your tightly bitten lip. Mouth slicing through your sanity, he approaches you with a glint in his eyes. “Got something you wanna say?” 

“Nope,” you whoosh out oh god he looks way too hot in those sweats wait is that a growing bulge? “Although I will say it took me forever to pick out what—”

Sparks ignite your hands when your lips are claimed, launching them into his shirt and tugging him backward because you’ve been waiting way too long to kiss the shit out of him. 

And Yoongi responds in kind, pinning you to his fridge and so, very obvious that he’s been waiting for this, too. 

Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. How to imitate this treasured yearning that only he can pull from the depths of your ocean. Deep, deeper, deepest. All these kisses. Your ascending affection. 

“As much as I wanna throw you on my bed,” Yoongi jokes, pulling away and giving your cheek a light tap. “I’m taking you somewhere.” 

And you’re so thrown from the impact that your brain mini-resets. “Huh? We’re leaving?”

“Uh huh.”

Hold on. Wait. Is this what he meant when he said he’s getting the next one? You’re going out to eat? Together? No. No, there’s no way. Yoongi knows that’s the worst possible thing to do right now, as much as the idea is sending your belly in a frenzy. “Are you sure? What about dinner? Won’t people… You know.”

“It’s ready already,” he reveals. “By the door.” 

Your head snaps to where he points out, even though you can’t see through the bar. “Really?” No wonder it smells like a cooking aftermath. All those smells twirling around your head. How did you not even catch the dishes in the sink? 

But hold up, you just bought a shit ton of food! “Then what the hell was the run for?”

Yoongi blinks. Then he does it again. Expression stone still, he responds as if you were privy to his plans this entire time, “I told you to get what I needed.” 

Your turn to blink.

“And I needed food.”

This man is going to be the death of you. Affronted, your jaw hangs before you grit through a smile that betrays you, “Oh, you—” 

“So thanks,” he quips through another tilt of his lips. “Let’s go, doll.” 

The begrudged sound that leaves you makes him kick his head back on the way out the kitchen. 

“Eat.”

The container on your thighs warms you through. “Now?”

“Mm.”

“I can wait,” you assure, watching as night paints the surrounding scenery in navy and black. “We can eat together.” 

“Just a bite then.” 

Turning to Yoongi, you don’t see a change in his face as he eyes the road. The veins in his arm catch all the streetlight, and you gulp before your gaze falls to what he made. Music fills the car, and you decide that maybe you do feel a little hungry. So you listen to instruction, popping it open and being careful as you pluck a piece to try. 

There’s no denying it. This motherfucker is a chef. “Fuck, this is good.” 

Your borderline moan sends Yoongi’s shoulders bobbing, and you will never get over those low, gravelly laughs. “Sorry.” Your hand hovers over your mouth in embarrassment. “I don’t react like that unless I’m alone.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, well,” you swallow. “Course you don’t.”

A tiny peek of teeth show as Yoongi smiles, and you don’t expect what he offers next, “Just be you, doll. It’s just me.”

The next bite of food pauses on the way to your mouth. “Oh,” you murmur. “Same for you then.”

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“Cus we wouldn’t make it to where we’re going.”

That was legitimately the worst time to put food in your mouth. Sputtering, your words come out low and chortled, “You fucker.”

His hisses are brief before he dips into silence again. As he slowly turns the wheel, you can see a glimpse of something deep in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly apologizes, swallowing as you keep your gaze. 

What is that look? Weren’t you both just having a good time? “For what, baby?” 

“Everything.” 

Your lungs flinch. This is definitely not what you expected to hear on the way to wherever the hell you’re going. “Oh.” 

Yoongi still doesn’t look your way, and with each pass of a light over his face, you catch quick snapshots of those eyes you’re still so shy of. “I, umm. I didn’t expect shit to pan out this way.” 

“It’s okay,” you whisper. 

After a slow motion of disagreement, his head falls forward just a bit. And your eyes find his hand clutching the gear shift in what you sadly think is frustration. “I’ve just thought about some things,” he starts, another song playing. “How worried you must’ve been.” 

You look forward. Because this is the part where you can’t face him. “I was. But not for the same reason as last time.” Without a hesitation of your own, your palm reaches between your seats. And you can tell Yoongi watches as you take his hand to hold. 

“I was worried about you,” you correct with softness. “It was hard because I didn’t know what to do.” Don’t fucking cry. You filled quite a few buckets already. “When you started not really saying much, I just… Hoped it was for a good reason, so. Yeah.” 

You feel your hand gently pulled, which is already enough to make you melt. But when it’s kissed, you don’t know what the hell to fucking do. 

“I’m sorry, doll,” Yoongi whispers into your skin, lips brushing with every syllable and painting a canvas of his reconcile. “I won’t leave you hanging like that again.” 

There’s a tiny fire in the back of your throat, the embers reaching your eyes just a little too aggressively. You attempt to squash the growing flames before they flare. “Oh. Umm. Thank you.” What else do you say? Yoongi’s being wonderful, but why do you feel… sad? Why is there lingering snow on your windowsill? “Were you worried?” 

“Me? Umm.” He stops at a light that he clearly didn’t want to stop at. Resting your conjoined hands on his pliant thigh, his jaw works as he observes them.

And you wonder if he thinks they slot together perfectly, too. 

“…Yeah.” 

Fuck. “About what?” 

“That you’d hate me.” 

Your heart meshes his fingers with yours. “Yoongi.” 

“Or that you shouldn’t be with someone that’s gone this much.” 

Fuck, he’s doing it again. Regressing. You’ve seen it happen in his kitchen and you’ll be damned if all that work, all that peeling, all that resolution amounted to nothing wait, wait, stop. This isn’t gonna be an overnight fix. And you have no clue what’s been happening, so just keep trying, trying, trying. 

“I’m used to people leaving,” you joke, but not really. “Like seasons.” 

He whips his head to you, and you backpedal because that probably sounded so random. You’ve got to think about filtering your thoughts a little more now that you’re getting comfortable. Yoongi says you can be yourself, sure, but you have to admit your quirks are a little out there. “I know it’s weird, but..” 

He’s quiet as the light turns green. And when you don’t finish, he admits, “I think the same.” 

“You do?” 

Your hand is brushed as a hum peppers it from above. “Mmhmm.” 

“Well.” That’s interesting. You didn’t know anyone thought about that stuff like you did. Now you wonder if there’s anywhere else your wavelengths sync, and if they’ve been syncing up all this time. “At least you come back.” 

Yoongi squeezes your hand tight before he holds it against his lips. Again. Fuck, this is a lot. You’re so wrapped up in his gesture that you don’t catch what he whispers. 

“Hmm?” 

He glances at the center console before putting your hand back on his thigh. 

“Always, doll.” 

And the fire you stepped on rages back with a vengeance. Heat and sting surrounds your eyes, and you don’t hide how you press your feelings into his skin. “Me, too.” 

If you weren’t lost in the surrounding scenery outside, you would have caught Yoongi’s look. But all you feel is his hand clutching you tight, and it breaks you down all the same. 

The rest of the drive is spent with him telling you to eat more, and a bunch of your sing-alongs to almost every song that comes on. It seems like the tiny bit of closure opened you both up, and you don’t even realize that you’ve been on the road for a really long time. 

But finally, Yoongi pulls up to a building, and you’re haphazardly rapping along to a song before you notice. Wait. What? He drove you to a rec center? 

Your fingers curl around his forearm before you even notice. “What’s this?” 

“Where we’re going.”

Hold on, you’re going inside? “Are we even allowed to be here?”

When Yoongi responds, his teeth make you shiver as he smirks. “Can’t say for sure, no.”

“Then why—”

He unlocks before you can finish, and you’re left in an empty car until he rounds the hood, coming over to your side and opening the door. You almost don’t hear what he says next, too focused on the jewelry swinging from his neck as he bends forward. 

But you catch it, and glance once more at the sight in front of you before biting your lip—in nervousness or excitement, you can’t decide.

“You comin’?”

Damn. Obviously, you want nothing more than to see him here. And it’s much too late for anyone to be around. But if something happens… Whatever. 

Your mouth finally unsticks. “If we get caught, you’re gonna pay for this.”

And you can’t resist his stupid grin. “Now get your pretty ass out before I put you in the back.” 

“Yoongi!”

Grinning, he leads you out, and you follow him to the trunk. After bouncing his stowed ball a couple times, he decides to lean in and reach for something else. 

Wait. Is that what you think it is? “Did you always have that in there?” you ask, pointing to the contraption that Yoongi’s using to air up his basketball.

And he does a horrible job at suppressing a smile. Which makes you burst into flutters and beats beats beats. “You liar!” Oh, you are gonna wipe those laughs from his throat. “I had to change up my plans because of you!”

Palming the ball, Yoongi tilts his head dangerously to one side. “And I got to see you,” he proudly claims. “So I’ll take it.”

You hate how the memories come packaged with what’s haunted you. What else happened during that time, and what happened after you left. But there’s no way you’re gonna bring that up. Not when the night has transformed into something so magical. 

So you just clutch your food and lean on his car, opting to compliment him to wipe the murk away. “Got to see you, too,” you puff into the brisk night. Because you harbor a bit of nostalgia in your bones. And because he still makes you shy. “You and your stupid hair.”

Another bout of hisses wisp into your side. As you turn to regard Yoongi again, he slips his chains into his hoodie before continuing, and you swoon at the veins popping out of his skin with each pump. 

How can he look so perfect doing the simplest things? So unfair. 

After seconds that feel like an hour, Yoongi’s done. And he scans the parking lot before telling you to follow him. 

What you expect is some outdoor courts. Maybe getting past a gate or two. So when you approach a back door lit by the shine of a single light, you freeze. “Are we really going in?”

Fishing something out of his pocket, Yoongi simply turns over his shoulder. “Yeah. Why not?”

“Oh.” You didn’t think you’d actually get inside the building. If there was an outside court just as accessible it would’ve made sense. Can you even bring food in here? Is that question even relevant? “No reason.”

“So I shouldn’t bust in?”

Huh. “What?”

“I’ve already done it a few times, so.”

“Wait!” Nerves throw your hand on his bicep before you can stop. “What if someone sees us?”

He’s so warm. And so toned. And if he plans on taking his hoodie off? You’re not prepared for whatever the hell he has underneath. 

Voice softened, Yoongi tries to placate your paranoia, “They won’t, doll.”

“Are you sure? If we get caught here they’re gonna call the police and I am definitely not… Gonna…”

The object in his hand jangles, and you clearly see he was just joking the whole time because keys—keys—stare you in the face. 

What is it with him and keys? 

When Yoongi speaks, you feel like you’ve never done anything bad in your life, and suddenly the thought of trespassing with an official way in is so scandalous, 

“You picked the wrong night to be a good girl.”

You have to admit. Seeing him so mischievous and dashing makes you wanna follow him wherever the hell he goes. Even if it gets you in trouble. Even if you were breaking in tonight, you would be all in. And that thought should frighten you, but it only does because of the wings tickling your rib cage. 

How can he make you feel rebellious and yet still so shy? The power of Min Yoongi. He’s way too good at destroying you.

When you glare, the man only grins, hisses of laughter leaving him way too happily before he unlocks the door to no alarms or sirens. He doesn’t need to throw a wink your way, too, but of course he does as he lets you in. Which causes you to float through the dark entryway instead of walk oh he did not just slap your ass!

A jolt in your cunt causes you to regard him in shock. To which he hums in a feigned question. “Hmm?”

With nothing but darkness and his cologne surrounding you, it’s only natural that giddiness takes hold. Truthfully, you’re packed with so much adrenaline that you feel a little wild yourself. “You’ve been waiting to do that, huh.” 

“So fucking long.”

You are not surviving the night. And you don’t give a single shit.

But as shy and out of control as you feel around this man, you also feel safe—even in a faraway, dark building that you’ve never been in before. That’s gotta say something about him, right? 

Yoongi feels along the wall beside you for lights, purposefully bumping your chest with his front even though he’s securing a ball with an arm. When you question his joking decision with noises, a chaste kiss on your lips shuts you right up.

“You’re in the way,” he jokes through what you think is a smile, and you’re about to move when he flicks on a switch very far away from your shoulder.

Liar! Your jaw drop must be comical because Yoongi’s grin stretches astronomically wide. But you cannot find a retort because seeing him so chill while you’re stiff from paranoia has you at a loss.

Is this how he used to be all the time? This carefree, all caution to the wind? He’s so fucking handsome like this. No wonder he’s pulled so many hearts just like yours. 

When you still don’t find any words to say, Yoongi makes it harder, stepping so close that you have to swing the plastic container away. Taking one of your hands in his free one, he gives it a warm squeeze while murmuring,

“You’re so cute.”

“How,” you ask just as softly.

And Yoongi responds with lights in his eyes. “Just are.”

Your lips mesh with his as he keeps your fingers secured, and suddenly every cautious thing in your body gets launched into the skies, too.

But it ends as soon as it begins. And Yoongi backs away from you with a smile, 

“Eat.”

“Huh?”

“Eat, doll,” he orders before turning and dribbling onto the court.

When you call out that he hasn’t eaten yet, Yoongi tells you that he already did. When you look around to figure out where to even sit, you decide on the closest set of bleachers and make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Which is impossible. Because they’re bleachers. Which is now triple impossible. Because Yoongi just shucked off his hoodie and the only thing he had under it was his chains goddamn it.

If you weren’t already sitting down you would’ve fallen right into the next dimension. How the fuck are you supposed to eat in these conditions shit he’s walking over! 

Your throat seizes as Yoongi approaches, face trained as if he isn’t aware of his overwhelming presence. All he does is bend to place his sweater next to your legs. But the quick smooch on your lips makes you swoon harder than you ever have.

And the way his silver taps your chest makes you mentally hold on for dear life. Wait. What the fuck, Yoongi’s taking them off right now? Right in front of you? Just as you're supposed to eat oh okay he’s handing them to you great wonderful fantastic.

The metal links feel so warm yet slightly cold to the touch. Weighty, yet light. But you clutch them in your hand as you connect a gaze to his.

“Relax,” he orders, lightly slapping the side of your thigh. “No need to worry.” 

And with bangs swishing, he goes right back to the ball waiting for him. Leaving you starry-eyed to hell with silver in your palm.

…Did all of that just happen? Is any of this even real? Quite frankly, you fucking forgot what you were even worried about. 

No matter what he does—simple lay-ups standing in place, dribbling to different spots to shoot, or even lazily jogging after the ball—you’re so enthralled with his actions that you forget that you’re not supposed to be here. 

And it takes your last bite of food for something to finally hit you. How does Yoongi have keys to this place? Where the hell did he score those because you don’t think he ever mentioned anything about working here. Or anywhere else other than the studio. 

Yet another mystery to add to this walking, bare-chested enigma. 

But there’s another question forming behind your eyes the longer you watch him practice, the more you notice how he’s actually going hard. Yoongi’s really good right now. A lot better than what you’ve seen of him before. 

Has he been coming here more often than he’s let on? And why does he look so… serious? You’d be surprised if he even remembered you’re here. 

Setting your empty container down, you gather the chains in your hands again, deciding to slip them over your head for safer keeping. After, you grab a water before stepping down the bleachers, hanging a little ways away until Yoongi notices you’re courtside.

And when he sees you, he stops practicing immediately, jogging to you so sweaty and shining and gross and handsome and— “Wait, you’re all swea—”

You’re pulled into a kiss the same time you hear a basketball drop, salt on your tongue and damp palms on your cheeks. And you melt right into the shiny wood floor, drifting, drifting, sailing into dreamland even though you’re technically already there. 

“Sweaty,” you whisper into his hot breaths of exertion, a twinge between your legs when he kisses you even deeper—breathing, inhaling, taking you in. “Gross.”

“Thanks.” 

You flash a smile against Yoongi’s lips, giggling because this is all better than anything your brain could’ve conjured on its own. When you ask why he’s going so hard, all you get is a question in return,

“You’re perfect, you know that?” 

Huh? Blinking, you suddenly don’t remember your own train of thought. “What did I do?” 

“Nothing.” He presses a wet mouth to your nose. “Did you eat?”

Laughing, you reassure him, “I did, I did.” 

“Good. You bored?”  

“Huh?”

Yoongi leans to softly take your lips this time, and you want to say he’s approaching the legal limit for kisses tonight. “Thought you came over cus you wanna leave.”

“And stop seeing you play? I could watch this forever.” You squeeze the water bottle a little tighter. “Just checking on you.” Another strike hits between your legs when Yoongi takes another, lazier glide over your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you forward by your bottoms, fingers slick from use. 

You could do this for eternity, too.

“Well I got about five more minutes in me, so..”

This man. 

“Forever might be a stretch.” 

“Ah, shut up. Here,” you offer through a giggle, holding the water out for him to take. 

“Thanks.” When he does, he tilts his head at just the right angle to cut you through, gulping down liquid and making you do the same to your nothingness. 

So unfair. “You looked like you were going pretty hard.” 

Lowering the bottle, Yoongi shifts his jaw before taunting something a ways off. “I kinda was.” 

“It was kinda hot.” 

His laugh makes you smile, and his next swig makes you weep. “Nah, but. This is our practice gym. I can just zone out here, so. It’s been one of those things.” 

Ah. Was this one of the places Yoongi ended up during those months apart? You wish he could’ve brought you along sometimes. Or at least thought about asking. It’s nice just to be around him while he does something he likes. Gaining courage, you say exactly what’s on your mind, “You can always bring me, too. If you want.” 

And it’s true. You don’t really have to do much when you’re with him, because just being around him is what brightens your day. Lifts your mood. 

But you have to admit that watching him play basketball while shirtless is the biggest fucking win in history. 

When did Yoongi get so close? When did his eyes retreat so far away? “I didn’t wanna bother you with this,” he admits, a drop of sweat clinging onto his chin. “I don’t even put music on.” 

“You never bother me,” you whisper back. Hoping that he believes you and that he will start to accept that as fact. Because it is. “Even if you’re being annoying.” 

The bottle crinkles as he smiles, and there’s a soft kiss to your lips that has no real desire behind it. Just a nice peck that sends you careening down a hill of flowers. “You won’t be feeling that way tomorrow, babe.” 

“And why is that?”

“Cus of what I’m wearing.” 

And he says that while half-naked? Like any look on him could get any worse. “Oh,” you scoff out, fully calling his bluff. “As if.”

Well, fuck. You don’t enjoy the smirk plastered on his face. It has you both dreading and excited for whatever demon you’re gonna run into tomorrow. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shrugs as he starts to hand the water back. “We can go soon, by the way.”

“Okay.”

But before you can grab it, Yoongi pulls the bottle from reach. “Unless,” he teases. “You wanna play me.”

“What.”

His grin shines, face glistening and turning your insides to jelly. “You told me you’d win, so. Let’s see it.”

You said that? While sober? How does he remember something like that when you can’t even recall a time or place you’d tell him something so bold. “When!”

“Right after you woke up once. Said you’re a master?”

Oh. That was ages ago. Fuck, you already forgot how did Yoongi remember? 

“Oh. Well.” Your nose turns up in feigned haughtiness. “Wouldn’t wanna throw you off your game before a championship.” 

“Uh huh.”

“I’d make you cry what the fuck!” 

Water spills down your head in rivulets as you freeze, stunned and watching Yoongi jogging his laughs back to the bleachers like a punk. “Think you got something on your face, doll.”

“Yoongi!” What the hell possessed him to do that to you here? Racing after him with purpose, you slam into him just as he reaches for another bottle, shoving a laugh out of his throat and making him catch himself on hardwood. “Nu uh, gimme that!”

“It’s mine, I just ran out—”

“Bitch!” You lunge for another bottle lying further away, distancing yourself to quickly rip the cap off and to avoid feeling his slick back on your hands. 

And it’s a lawless gym as both of you start spraying water, arcs and splashes of bottled liquid spewing over the court and soaking into your clothes and his bare skin. Which proves to get worse and worse for your wellbeing the more he gets soaked in your attacks. 

Running ends up being the only option to avoid getting completely drenched, and you hightail it behind bleachers before your waist is grabbed. “Fuck!” 

“Uh huh.” 

You try to wrestle out of his hold, his wet forearm digging lovely into your stomach, and you’re temporarily let go just so Yoongi can spin you around. 

Your back connects with solid wall, the impact shooting a grunt out of your throat before you laugh out of pure disbelief. “I can’t believe, you got me to do that,” you rush out, sentence punctuated by your breaths more than anything else. 

Here you are. Under bleachers. With Yoongi’s skin caging you with radiating heat.  

You can only stare as he drinks you in, no doubt looking at his silver around your neck and your chest heaving from exertion. Butterflies float across your stomach when his smile drips, and you fold as soon as he swoops in. 

Everything in your being pulses hard. It’s so visceral that you teeter on the edge of sanity and logic, and the thoughts slipping through your mind are just as wild as you feel. Before you’re even aware of it, a mischievous finger slides along the hem of his shorts, and you jump at the downright boulders rolling down your front, 

“Careful, doll.”

“Hmm?” You feel bad. And it feels fantastic. “What was that?” 

More gravel slides down his tongue, and you shake at his attractive as fuck threat, “Fuck around and find out then.” 

Your giggles add feather lightness into his murky laughs, but you’re so preoccupied that you don’t notice his hand between your legs until he slaps the inside of your thigh. “Yoo—!”

“Unless.” He leans forward. “My baby’s too scared.” 

Holy fuck, you might be. Is he really willing to do something with you? In a public place very similar to where you’re gonna watch him play tomorrow? You don’t know why the fuck that’s attractive as hell, but it is. 

Yoongi grips your chin, eyes falling to your lips and brows knitted before claiming your lips even harder. And despite your bones vibrating to hell, you put your all into the kiss, relishing in the growing hardness you feel against your front. An animal starts to wake inside your core, and you almost feel like stroking it. Feeding it. Raising it only for it to consume you in return. 

“Fuck it, we’re leaving.” 

“Huh?” Dazed, you let your vision refocus as Yoongi chuckles at your hazy state. 

“Fuck this. I’m taking you home.” 

For some reason, the game makes you nervous today. Even while Taehyung strides into the gymnasium with you, there’s a lingering feeling swelling in your stomach, and you don’t have any reason for it yet. 

At least this is another rec center entirely. Because there’s no way you would’ve sat still knowing you had a clandestine meeting in the same place not even twenty-four hours before. 

But the activity already bustling around hardwood catches your attention. Not on both sides, since only one team is here, but they are active on the other end doing drills. 

Wow. They look really intimidating, matching jerseys that were clearly done professionally and warm-ups having a set routine. You wonder if this is gonna be a tough game for… Wait. That’s your brother under the basket. That’s them? 

Fucking hell, Yoongi was right.

Because you’ll already never get over how attractive he looks in athletic clothes.

But team jerseys? 

Seeing this man rock a basketball uniform with his toned arms and legs so visible makes you want to claw your way out of your invisible cage. 

When the hell did they even get those? And why is he already slightly drenched during the warm-up alone? 

As soon as you see him make a lay-up, you know for a fact that you shouldn’t be here. 

Yes, you’re gonna stay and yes, you’re gonna cheer for them all game. But you are absolutely gonna feel like jumping him, which will in turn make you wanna bolt and run all the way out of town every agonizing second. 

Shit, shit, shit. You’re gonna have to try your damned hardest to unstick your eyes from that man the whole time. Already, you can hear Taehyung’s teasing, and your groan is to lament your future state.

Your name suddenly rings across the gym, and four feet pause in your ascent up the bleachers. When you catch both him and Jimin waving you down from their courtside chairs, you tilt your head in intrigue. 

They want you to come over there? What the hell is this about? 

Sighing, you turn. “Guess I’ll go see what they want.” 

“Here,” Tae offers his hand. “I’ll save you a seat.” 

Your bag is transferred to his grip while you nod, and you step down onto the court, wondering if you’re even allowed to walk onto it to see them. And Jimin’s grin can be seen from miles away. “Come here!” 

You gingerly step onto shiny wooden floors, making your way over and becoming hyper aware that someone else notices your presence. But you’re so puzzled as to why there’s no one on the other side of the court yet because isn’t the game about to start? 

Where’s the other team? As you approach their row of chairs, your hands immediately find your hips. “What’s up?” 

Jimin’s eyes stay creased as your brother explains the reason he waved you down. A very stupid, very innocuous reason. “Can you keep score?” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Why me?” 

Your brother uses his jersey to wipe sweat from his brow, and you wince at the brand new material getting gross already. “The girl that usually does it for us is sick.” 

“And you know the game,” Jimin quickly tacks on, rubbing at some tattoos on full display. Wait, are there more than you remember? When did he get more ink?

Your sibling asks another question you had in mind, “You aren’t gonna cover those?”

“Nah. Not today,” the man elongates in a stretch. “Just got another one. This one!” 

Ah, you were right. “I like it.” 

Jimin couldn’t look more proud. But enough of that because you really just wanna go back and observe the game from another place entirely. “Can’t y’all find someone else to keep score?” 

“We don’t think anyone else can,” your brother explains, looking over your shoulder. “At least, not the people coming to watch us.” 

Cool. You get to be met with heat and sweat from all these guys without compensation. How is this something you would say yes to? “Well. I don’t really feel like being a scorekeeper for free.” 

When your sibling laughs with Jimin, they share a look before he says so matter-of-factly, “Told you.” 

You’re sticking with that. If you’re gonna sit next to a bunch of smelly people, they’re gonna pay… you… somehow.

A ways down the row, you catch Yoongi dumping himself onto a random chair, head tilted back before he hangs it forward to wipe sweat from his forehead. 

And suddenly this temporary gig doesn’t seem terrible in the slightest. 

Because one, you can sit on a team bench that will have his fine ass right there. And two, this will give you a way to objectively focus on the game. You won’t have time to be distracted by a demon and his hair that’s gotten criminally long. 

“I’ll get us all dinner,” your sibling slices through your thoughts. “After we win.”  

“Fine,” you sigh, taking the end seat and shooting one more glance to the other side of the court. “Then I get to p—”

The air around you squeezes inward. And all sounds plunge underwater. 

Because you recognize someone you knew from a dark club walking onto the court, his team looking just as sharp and cocky as his eyes. 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 

You don’t notice the way Jimin’s hands flex, nor the way a familiar presence walks up to join your brother. 

All you can do is stare back. 

And without even realizing. 

You’re already rubbing your arm.

-

-

tbc. :((

-

a ha ha... so how do we feel? | taglist | discord!

a/n: okay, hello, loves. apologies this part took so damn long to post! can you imagine if i tried to post everything at once LMAOO yikes talk about too much at once. but i hope this part was enough to still be good on its own, and broken, pt. 2 will be... well. you can probably guess that's where a majority of my brainpower is going to go. a/n 2: thank you all for being here! it's been an amazing two years working on this series and i cannot tell you how grateful and appreciative i am to have such wonderful people alongside me. i hope this series continues to be there for you when you need it, bc it has become that for me, too. ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

[missmouseeyes]

October 22-28 is Ace Week 2023, so I’d like to give a spotlight to some manga I have enjoyed that have also touched on asexuality.

I Want To Be A Wall by Honami Shirono

A 3 volume Josei manga about the lavender marriage between Gakurouta, a closeted gay man who pines for his childhood friend, and Yuriko, an aromantic, asexual BL fangirl.

She Loves To Cook, and She Loves To Eat by Sakaomi Yuzaki

An ongoing yuri Josei manga with a TV adaptation about two women who bond over food. The series recently introduced Yako, an asexual lesbian, and it’s possible that protagonist Nomoto may be on the ace spectrum as well.

Is Love The Answer? by Uta Isaki

A single volume josei manga about Chika, a young college student who has always considered herself an “alien” because she has no desire for romance or physical intimacy, but finds community with people like herself.

Our Dreams At Dusk: Shimanami Tasogare by Yuhki Kamatani

A 4 volume Seinen manga about a closeted gay boy who gets to know the patrons of a drop-in center who all turn out to be part of the LGBTQ community. Someone-san might be considered a deuteragonist of the story.

I’d also like to mention two yuri manga I haven’t finished yet- I have only read the first volume of both- but because of what others have said I know they feature asexual characters!

Catch These Hands! (murata)

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon (Shio Usui)

[bones4thecats]

Jamil, Leona, Idia and malleus, with a s/o who is like Loid or Yor from Spy family please (where they talk about what their life was like whether the reader is a spy or an assassin)

Having An S/O Similar to Yor Briar

Type of Writing: Request Name: Having An S/O Similar to Yor Briar Characters: Jamil Viper, Leona Kingscholar, Idia Shroud, and Malleus Draconia Requester: @marinahavik

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for not posting something like this in a while. I’ve been busy with some of my family and friends’ issues. Also, due to this reader being inspired by Yor Briar, there are slight spoilers for the Spy x Family manga and anime. Have a great rest of your days/nights!

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Yor Briar! S/O ; An Assassin for the Al-Asim Family

🐍 You’ve been working alongside the Al-Asim family for multiple years, maybe ever since you were a young tot and needed to care for your younger brother

🐍 As one of their top assassins for any suspicious activity at such a young age, many believed you were weaker than them, especially when it was learned you didn’t know many spells, but you were rumored to have a powerful unique spell

🐍 Due to the power you held with this spell, you were put on a mission to watch over the oldest Al-Asim son, Kalim, and help around with your oldest friend, Jamil, when caring for the youthful boy

🐍 Ever since you first joined the two in Night Raven College, you and Jamil quickly became known as the parents of Scarabia

🐍 You were a terrible cook, even worse than Kalim. And Jamil learned this when he sent you a message and asked if you could put the chicken in the oven and he came back to a load of Scarabia students watching as you panicked and tried putting out a load of smoke

🐍 Many fear your anger. Including your boyfriend. This was shown on two occasions;

🐍 You had been watching your younger brother, who was 10, when a Savanaclaw student had come by and began to harass Yuri. And when you noticed that he tried to swipe him with his claws, you took out your golden stiletto-type weapons and held them to his throat, giving him the hardest glare ever. One that caused Leona to look at you with his ears slightly down and his tail fully down in fear

🐍 The second time was when someone had tried to send a duo of flying-blades towards Kalim and Jamil, only for you to knock them back and tackle them down after knocking them around like a ragdoll, much to Kalim’s admiration and Jamil’s slight fear and attraction

🐍 Jamil knows you prefer to be given missions leading you to harm those that harm others, and he respects you for that. Especially when you had stood up and refused a mission due to the need of harming one innocent person, you really were sweet

🐍 He also enjoys watching you interact the younger siblings of Kalim’s and the children around Scarabia and the Scaling Sands, just seeing how sweet and gentle you were with them versus how you were with others was cute to him

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Yor Briar! Reader ; The Sunset Savannah’s Royal Assassin

🦁 When Leona first met you, you had just begun your teachings from the previous assassin from the Kingscholar family. Your training was hard, but it made you feel good that you were going to protect such important and good people

🦁 Leona had just come outside for a nap away from his brother when he saw you using small bamboo-sticks as swords for your training as your sensei went away for a moment to speak to Kifaji

🦁 Ever since he first approached you and asked what you were doing with bamboo, you were inseparable. You both trained together, becoming stronger with both your physicality and with your magical abilities

🦁 He would rather die than admit this, but Leona loves how sweet you are outside of your job. Many guards are professional both in and out of their job, which bored the second-born prince

🦁 But you? You were very serious and seductive when working away, but you outside of it all was very homey. You would smile at him and make him feel like he gained a glimpse of the heavens at that moment

🦁 He loves to flirt with you, seeing how flustered and embarrassed you get makes him laugh. I mean, you basically kill for a living, yet you're nervous about a comment of how beautiful you were?

🦁 When he first saw you cook, he was scared shitless.

🦁 Leona knew you weren't the best at it, but watching as Ruggie and Jack ran in and out with buckets of water and fire-extinguishers made him look at you with dumbfound. Now he knows not to let you cook for his family at any time unless certain you can do it without any kind of fire

🦁 Leona also enjoys seeing you fight with the other Savanaclaw members. He knows that they're strong, and every-time they challenge him for his housewarden position, he has them fight you to prove they could go against him

🦁 He knows you can knock him on his ass, and you know these pups were no match for him. But nobody was going to voice these out loud, now were they?

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Yor Briar! Reader ; Hunter for S.T.Y.X. and Assassin for Shroud House

🎮 You have worked underneath the Shroud family since you were young. And you always heard from your superiors that the heir to the company was pathetic for locking himself away

🎮 Pushing their thoughts away, you had begun to praise the young Idia whenever you saw him working on a project of his. You had even come across him working on his Ortho-project. And seeing as you didn't judge him, rather you sympathized with him, since your younger brother, Yuri, and you were alone without parents, Idia was shocked

🎮 Idia, as you grew together, noticed that you would go out to gather some Blot-Monsters for S.T.Y.X., and when he asked his mother and father about how dangerous it was one day, they looked at each other and chuckled before telling him about his feelings

🎮 You guys are a very flustered couple. While you are by-far more physically affectionate, whenever your boyfriend had a moment of confidence, you become the ball of red underneath the blanket he gave you

🎮 He adores seeing you try helping out Ortho with his errands, but he also learned to put a piece of memory in his brother's metal brain telling him to not allow you to cook. He doesn't need a massive fire in the tech-filled kitchen again...

🎮 Seeing you go from innocent and loving to dangerous and hostile is something that Idia also loves. It makes him feel like he is worth protecting and isn't a complete waste of space. This also makes Ortho happier, his brother's dopamine and serotonin levels are rising!

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Yor Briar! Reader ; Royal Assassin for the Draconia Family

🐉 Malleus has known you for many years, you had first started working for his family a few years prior to your third-year in Night Raven College

🐉 He had seen how you would stand beside his grandmother, Maleficia Draconia, and just observe others while still holding small and daring conversations with others. He also noticed how much of a liking she and Lilia took to you, it was amazing

🐉 Now many can catch the eyes of the Queen of Briar Valley along with the Captain of their Guard. So, when it was announced that you had also caught the eye of the Prince of the land? Oh boy, did everyone believe you were a walking ball of luck

🐉 Your personality is the main reason that Malleus fell for you. You were very sweet and caring for others, despite your role of harming others that tried killing any royal or important members of the court

🐉 He also liked how you refused to harm innocent people. Normally, an assassin wouldn't care who they had to kill as long as they got their pay at the end of the day. But you? You made an important deal with the Queen herself, saying you would never lay your hands upon an innocent person, no matter what

🐉 Malleus also likes how you can defend yourself and how you use this to bond with the others. He holds Lilia, Silver, and Sebek close for a reason. They may not be blood, but they are a part of his family, and seeing you bond with them so well feels amazing

🐉 Whenever he does sleep, he dreams of you messing around with your future children, who are just like you; sweet yet dangerous. And just seeing that black ring on your finger would send his tail into a wagging state as he cuddled up to your back

🐉 And don't get me started on whenever you come out and run into a small child looking for their parent

🐉 That happened when you were taking a small walk with the Prince around the nearby woods, and when the child bumped into your leg, they apologized and told you their story. Seeing you comfort the tiny human and help direct them to their mother warmed his heart

🐉 You were the perfect person for him... there was no denying that

[timmie-p]

april fools post translation 👍 * indicates i have notes on the translation if you want to read below

Hyun Woo —> He stopped acting in his childhood but is currently working on ALNST as a lighting crew member. Worries about his dull, slow sister

Hyuna —> The last and youngest of the ALNST cast to debut! Her real personality is gentle and innocent

Mizi —> Fan favourite among the actors. Shy personality and very nervous about her first leading role

Sua —> The feisty actress is popular among her co-stars, thanks to her nonchalant friendliness

Sua: Great job on the shoot today. I’m sure Director Kim was only speaking so harshly because he was worried about your safety, so don’t take it personally.

Mizi: Yeah.. ((It’s sunbae!!! What should I do! What should I do!!))

Sfx: Thump thump thump [heartbeat sound]

Ivan and Luka are actors from a different agency. They’re also in an idol group together (for the record, Luka hates it)

Ivan —> Ivan loves kids and voluntarily takes care of them

Luka —> Luka is Ivan’s best friend, so he’s forced to babysit with him

Baby Till —> Baby Till for flashback scenes

Baby Mizi —> Baby Mizi for flashback scenes when the kids are older

Till —> Till, the youngest in the series, is actually the oldest in the cast and debuted with CF before he could even speak in a diaper commercial. Till has a strong “my pace”* persona. He just wants to quickly wrap up the shoot and go home. His dark circles are from overwork, not make-up.

Others —> Three people who want to approach their mysterious** senior but can’t

Ivan: ((Lamenting over delays..?))

Mizi: Want me to talk to him?

Luka: Yeah

Till: ((I want to go home))

Sfx: Spacing out~

*according to namu wiki, either someone who’s strongly independent and doesn’t care what others think or someone who’s always chill

**according to namu wiki, the adjective translates to a famous person who deliberately keeps their private life secret. i just went with mysterious bc it directly translates to “mystic”

i didn’t choose to translate sunbae in Mizi’s thoughts because it sounds weird and most of you probably know what it means anyway

lol it looks like everyone’s personalities were flipped. does that mean ivan actually hates kids? and till as the cool mysterious senior everyone is scared to talk to vs hyuna as no thoughts head empty is kinda funny. i have a feeling ivan and luka are shipped together a lot by fans in this au.. the woes of being besties. also mizisua is always canon 🙏 theyre so yuri