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il0veyoujk · 4 years

Text

Unusual roommates

Summary: Nefeli (18) is moving to a new house in the middle of the forest in Seoul. The only thing she doesn’t know is that her new home is haunted...

Warnings: Light mention of harsh language

Notes: None

Τhis is a tickle related ff, if you are not interested in it, please keep scrolling

Lots of love Nef 💕

Nefeli was currently peacefully reading a book on her apartment in Daegu. The weather outside was sunny so she was sitting on her hammock swing near her large window, a mug of fragrant hot chocolate on her other hand.

The 18-year-old girl was enjoying her favorite book, Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens to be specific when her phone started vibrating on the glass coffee table in front of her.

She looked at the ID but she didn’t recognize it and her face lit up. She only hoped it was the owner of the house she wants to move to, in Seoul.

You see Nefeli needed to move to Seoul due to her studies as a journalist and she needed a house as well.

“Hello?”

“Hey, are you Nefeli? I am Min Sangwook, we talked some days ago for the house” the voice of an old man around his late 70s echoed the other line, with softness in it.

“Yes, this is me. Anything new about the house?” the young girl asked politely, with a cheery but calm tone. She was trying her best not to give hope to herself. Mr Sangwook had told her that it would be a little difficult for her to buy this house too soon since they didn’t know how long it would take them to find a new one.

“Yes, you can come to sign contracts even today and then stay in the house. We have already found our new home” he explained politely.

Nefeli used all her might not to scream or jump and fall off of her hammock swing. Finally, she was moving to start a new life!

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you! I will be there tomorrow afternoon! Thank you so much!” she exclaimed, the chuckles of the old man as a background.

“Then I guess me and my wife will see you tomorrow then”

“Yes of course! Thank you once again mr Min! I owe you!” she hung up and rushed to her bedroom to pack her things up. She threw inside her huge, red suitcase all her clothes, which were already folded, her jewelry, some photos and room decorations from her room.

She got out of her pocket her phone and dialed the first person she wanted to let her know what was happening, back in Greece where she was raised “Hey mum! You will never guess who called me!”

Next day, afternoon:

Nefeli was currently in her car, driving to the house she was supposed to go to.

One of her favorite songs, Believe In You by Amanda Marshall was echoing the car cabin, relaxing the young girl’s souls and helping her calm down, giving her confidence and self-esteem up.

I believe in you And all I want to do is help you to Believe in you

As the song was coming to an end, Nefeli’s car was entering a dark forest filled with tall, somehow scary trees. It was almost night and the sky had golden and orange near the ground and as the vision was raising the colors were become darker and more bluish.

As the car was moving more into the woods, she spotted an old house, with a nice, wooden balcony. The building was on a glade, in the very middle of the forest, circled my trees.

She wasn’t gonna lie, the house was scary. As the sun was falling onto the walls, weird and terrifying shadows were forming, like they were young lads while the sound of a light, summer breeze was brushing the leaves was mixed with the nice smells of the fresh grass.

Outside of the house, there was mr and mrs Min, holding hands and sitting on the outside couch on the balcony, drinking some really tasty tea and chitchatting. They both seemed really sweet, warm, and lovable people.

Nef parked the car near the house, next to the owners’ car, and grabbed her backpack. As she was walking near the couple, she heard small giggles coming from the walls of the house and she felt shivers running down her spine. Let’s be honest, the house was a little -a lot- creepy and those sounds weren’t the best ones she could hear. I mean, it was an old house, in the middle of nowhere, in the forest, and it was dark outside. How idyllic! Note the sarcasm.

“We are so happy you are here!” mrs Min told me, shaking her hand. She was an old woman, around her early 70s, a little younger than her husband.

“It’s my pleasure” the young girl smiled warmly. “Can we sign the contracts please?” she asked excitedly, making the owners chuckle.

“Sure, here are the papers and a pen, we hope you like the house” mr Min said, smiling nervously.

To be honest, Nefeli always wanted to live away from the town, in the middle of nowhere, not having people and car horns annoying her and unhealthy smoke hurting her lungs, considering the fact she had asthma, and the fresh air of the forest was exactly what she needed. Plus she would live peacefully. The house may be a little creepy, but she could handle that. She didn’t believe in ghosts and all anyway.

She picked up the pen and scribbled on the papers her signature with excitement. However, as soon as she scribbled on the paper, she felt something scribbling on her lower back, making her squeal and giggle.

The old couple looked at her weirdly and she cleared her throat, shaking that feeling off of her mind, thinking it may only be some soft air.

“Do you want us to give you a quick tour?” mr Sangwook asked her, but she kindly denied, wanting to explore her new place by herself. “Alright then, if you need anything you have our phone. I have seen the money you gave us in my bank account, don’t worry about it. Tomorrow morning we will have our furniture moved so as you can have your own here” the man smiled kindly as she opened the car door for his wife to enter and then proceeded to go to the driver seat

“Thank you so much! Have a nice ride!” she waved at them as she was watching them exiting the forest, leaving her alone.

When they were out of her vision, Nefeli turned around to take a glance at the house and she felt shivers running down her spine. It was like the now almost dark sky was swallowing it and it seem more intimidating than before. And that was what she loved more about it. When her furniture arrives, the place is gonna look so vintage!

She took a deep breath and entered the old building, feeling a cold breeze brushing behind her shoulders and the back of her neck, straightening every hair she had on her body. But she still wanted like hell to live there. It was the best place she had ever seen!

She took a step inside the house and looked around. The inside of the living room was all old and wooden. The kitchen was in the same room as the living room and there were three bedrooms and one bathroom. The two bedrooms were simple, with no decoration at all, and the bathroom was white with a blue bath. Nothing special.

She closed the door behind her and set the suitcase on the floor next to her. She roam around the living room, a big grin on her face. Nefeli plopped herself on the couch, lying on her back.

As she took a better glance over the place, she spotted something weird. Hairbrushes, feathers, toothbrushes, and many other things which were usually used for... tickling.

The more she was staring at them the more she was feeling more agitated. The more she was staring at them, the more she was feeling pokes on her sides. Nefeli was probably too ticklish to even look at the tools. She had never experienced them, not even a feather, but she was getting nervous just by the thought. She was super sensitive. Like it wasn’t even funny how ticklish she was, and all of her friends were taking advantage of it. Like, they would poke her sides from behind every chance and when she’d something cheeky they would tickle her. (a/n true stories lmao)

The only thing is that she has never been tickled on her feet, and those hairbrushes were making her feel the most nervous. She knew she was extremely ticklish on her feet, but she had never received tickles there, except some foot rubs which was tickling her like hell, but she was trying her best not to show it because it was caused by her own mother, and she was feeling too uncomfortable.

“Nononononononoo” she squealed and jumped on her feet, grabbing all of them and hiding them in the first cupboard she saw, sighing in relief when they were out of her vision.

Just then she felt jabs on her sides, making her jump and start giggling alone, not knowing why. “Hehehehehe” she pressed herself onto the wall and immediately all the pokes stopped. “What the fuck was that?!” she exclaimed, unable to hide her leftover giggles.

“I guess I need to go to bed, I imagine things” she sighed and walked to the bedroom to change into her pajamas. It was still the middle of August, so she decided to wear her cropped ones. She set all her clothes into her new closet and plopped on the bed, pulling the sheets up to her shoulder, drifting to sleep.

Some hours after that:

It was the middle of the night and everything was peaceful outside. Nefeli was sleeping on her bed, dreaming about her new house and how she is gonna decorate it when something woke her up.

Something feeling like she was being... tickled... on her knees.

Nefeli shot up and started kicking on her bed, trying to get that feeling vanished but she wasn’t doing much. She was only able to laugh and laugh and laugh and nothing seem to work to make the feeling stop.

“Whahahahahat ihihihihis thahahahahat?!” she yelled in-between her laughter. The mysterious touch was now moving behind her knees, digging there, making the poor girl throw herself back on the mattress and laugh loudly. Thankfully no one could hear her.

With all her strength, in a shift move, she sat up and reached down to the spot which was being tickled, only to grab... nothing!

She started feeling worried and weird and even scared. “Nahahahaha! Stahahahap” she laughed. However, it came out more like a command than amusement.

Lemme give you a fun fact about Neffie. When she says stops, and she means it, you always can understand that. It will come out as a yell and not as laughter. And trust me, she is able to scare someone with that tone.

As soon as she said that, all the tickling stopped and she heard giggles filling her room. A knot formed in her stomach as she heard those giggles. It was like ghosts were mocking her! ‘Is the house haunted?!’

Just as she thought that a boy appeared in front of her, with small eyes and a gummy smile, winking at her, and then vanished.

Nefeli’s eyes widened and screamed loudly, hiding under the sheets fastly, having a panic attack. She curled up in a small ball of herself, trying to protect herself from possible tickles, but nothing came.

Instead, she felt sleep circling her and her nerves relaxing. It was really weird how fast she felt sleepy in the middle of a panic attack, but she couldn’t help it. She felt an arm rubbing her lower back, helping her sleep more relaxing and without any more disturbing or fear at all.

Just as she was ready to fall asleep, she heard a heave voice whispering in her ear “Goodnight Neffie” and with that she passed out, sleeping sweetly.

Next afternoon:

Her furniture was finally here and the old one was moved to Choi’s house and Nefeli was over the moon. She had already decorated her room with her favorite posters of her favorite band like Three Days Grace, Arctic Monkeys, and Linkin Park, she had set her bookcase in her room, next to the door, and placed small, fairy lights on her books, photo frames of her and her family and her friends on the window sill, her couch and armchairs in the living room, near the fireplace, and her favorite hammock swing on the balcony.

The young girl was currently sitting on this specific swing, continuing the same book she was reading two days ago, the day mr Sangwook phoned her. She had a faded memory of what had happened last night, believing it was a weird dream and she decided to continue her life without it messing her head.

The weather had started getting a little chilly so she was wearing her fluffy, grey socks and her black sweatpants along with a light hoodie jacket, along with a cub of mint chocolate chip ice cream on her lap.

Nefeli was on the part of the book where Sikes beats Nancy to death in a fit of rage when she heard whispers coming from her behind her. She turned her head, with fear running in her veins, to see who was there. However, behind her was only the wall.

She picked up her phone and dialed mr Min’s number, waiting for him to pick it up. The whispers were keeping going and the blood in her veins was turning cold as the seconds were passing by.

“Hello?” the old man picked up the phone faster than Nef expected.

“Hello, mr Sangwook? It’s Nefeli” the young girl said and everyone could notice the nervousness in her voice.

“Nefeli? Is everything alright?” he asked worriedly, expecting her to say something like a wolf is in her house or something like that.

“Um, I wanted to ask you if everything is alright with the house. Because I can hear weird whispering of giggles coming from the walls since I moved in” Nefeli explained, looking around her to understand who was whispering.

“Oh yeah, I understand what is happening. You may see some mice in the house, don’t worry, it’s not people” mr Min explained and Nefeli sighed in relief. She is not afraid of mice and she believes they are cute. And she knows they are making weird noises, so she believed it.

“Okay, thank you! Have a nice day!”

“You too Nefeli! And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call us!”

They hung up and Nefeli, returned to her book, humming on Still Loving You by Scorpions.

She raised her vision to take a glance around the trees and her heart melted. The peaceful silence of the forest, the birds’ singing mixed with the light breeze which was brushing against the summer leaves was sending her into what felt like heaven.

All that she ever wanted was silence. Nothing else. Of course, she likes being with people, communicate, having fun, partying, and all, but when she is home, she just wants to be alone, in silence, doing whatever she wants. And this house in the middle of the forest was like his paradise.

She was ready to turn to the next page when her phone started vibrating next to her. She picked it up and it was her best friend, Zoe who was calling her.

“Heyooo!” she cheered happily and placed the book on the glass table next to her, not forgetting to mark the page she was at.

“You are coming over for a coffee and I am not taking no as an answer” her friend playfully commanded, making Nefeli mentally giggle.

You see Zoe was a childhood friend of Nefeli, but she had moved to Seoul some years ago. They were always meeting when Nefeli was coming there or Zoe was returning to Daegu.

“Okay, I will be there in fifteen minutes” Nefeli smiled and before she could, Zoe had already hung up. She rushed to her car, pulling out and driving to her friend’s house.

The car drive was short and fast. The roads were surprisingly almost empty and the music from her radio was the only thing she could hear. Bang Bang by Monophonics was echoing the car cabin and she was murmuring the lyrics.

However, the only thing which was in her mind was the giggles. She couldn’t believe that those giggles were coming from a mouse. Something was up with that house, but she couldn’t find what.

One thought crossed her mind. That the house was haunted. But she couldn’t believe it. Nefeli doesn’t believe in ghosts, supernatural things, next lives, and all. She believes only in what scientists can explain and only in what she can see or touch. So there was no way she would believe that the house she was living in was haunted. ‘Nonononono, something else must be up here’

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the tall, blond girl who was waving at her from the edge of the road.

Nefeli pulled over and rushed out of the car, into her friend’s embrace, a wave of happiness feeling her.

“I missed you so much!- I missed you too!” they said in unison and then burst into laughter. They had so much time to spend some time together. “Let’s go inside girl” Zoe threw her hand over Nef’s shoulders and they both went inside the house.

After 30 mins:

“And I hear weird giggles and whispers from the house!” Nefeli had finally finished with the storytime and the two girls both took a ship from their hot chocolates.

“Wait, you mean you live at the house of the Hysterical Ghosts?” Zoe asked more seriously than ever, looking straight into Nef’s eyes like she was the teacher and Nefeli was a student.

Nefeli couldn’t help but start giggling hard. “The what? That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard Zoe! What in the world is that now?”

The blond girl rose an eyebrow at Nefeli and stared at her in disbelief “You mean you don’t know the thrill of the town?” Nefeli shook her head, unable to contain her giggles. She believed that her childhood friends would know her better than that.

Zoe sighed and moved closer to the young journalist “It said that seven lads were living in that house some years ago. When they would come to the town, no one would talk to them and people would always be afraid of them. It was believed that they would torture innocent people just to have fun, that’s why every time someone would pass by that house, they could hear hysterical laughter coming from inside. It is said that it was their laughter of amusement. The locals still say that they were all killed by a young boy who was to be tortured by them and that the house is still haunted by their spirits”

As soon as Zoe was finished, Nefeli’s jaw was on the ground. To be fair, she absolutely and completely LOVES those types of stories. She doesn’t believe in them, but they are so interesting and they are fascinating the 18-year-old girl really much.

“Omg! Really?! Dude, this is the best myth I have ever heard!” Nefeli yelled in excitement, bouncing on the couch.

She was gonna write a story about it, for real. Nefeli has an account on Wattpad and she is posting her stories and this myth about the ‘Hysterical Ghosts’ was giving her inspiration.

However, as soon as Nef saw the clock on the wall, her eyes widened. It was near the time of the Curfew and her house was 15 mins from there.

“I have to go, I don’t wanna pay a fine because of Corona” the young girl laughed and collected her things to get out of her friend’s house, Zoe following close behind her.

“See ya later! And be careful of the ghosts!” Zoe remind Nef, not joking at all, which only made Nef giggle and shake her head. “Yeah, the ghosts are gonna eat me” she smiled and Zoe sighed. “I am being serious, be careful”

“See ya later Zoe”

“See ya later Nef”

And with that the young journalist drove away, going back to her new house.

The drive back home was silent. For the first time in her life, Nefeli didn’t need to listen to some music. However, what her friend told her about the ghosts couldn’t leave her mind. She wasn’t believing it, but something deep inside her was scared. Like, all those nonsense about ghosts was completing this weird puzzle.

‘What if I am indeed living in a haunted house?’ she asked herself, continuing driving, talking to herself driving the whole ride.

Suddenly the thought of her new house is already owned by those ghosts started scaring her. Especially the specific ghosts. Boys who were torturing innocent people for their fun. And now their spirits were haunting every new owner who was staying in this house. She felt shivers down her spine but tried to brush them off of her mind ‘C’mon Neffie, you don’t believe in this, no one has ever proved that ghosts exist, you have never seen one, don’t let a stupid myth scare you’ she kept trying to calm herself down.

She entered the forest and immediately a weird and tingling aura surrounding her, straightening all the hairs on her body. Like the whole area was... enchanted... It was like she was being followed by something eerie. And that the forest locked when she entered

However, she shook it off and continued driving, trying to forget about what Zoe told her.

She pulled out next to her new home, having almost convinced herself that her friend was saying only nonsenses. She got out of her car, opening her phone to scroll through Instagram, her back still on her shoulder.

She got out of her black backpack her keys to open the door, still feeling that tingling on her spine, but trying to ignore it.

She opened her door and immediately she froze, letting her bag falling on the ground, her jaw along it. On the couch, there were three boys, their feet on the table in front of it, and four others were sitting crossed legs... on the air!

All the heads snapped towards her with shocked expressions on their faces. The four ones who were on the air fell on the floor brutally, and the rest of them shot up from their seats, looking at the girl with their mouths wide open.

“Um hi?” the tallest one, who was now on the floor, said, coming out more like a question than a greeting. He had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes.

Nefeli let out an incredibly loud scream and rushed out of the house, trying to make it to her car. She was ready to grab the handle of the car door when she felt two strong arms being wrapped around her waist and being carried back to her house.

The young girl started screaming loudly and thrashing around, trying to get out of the grip “No! Lemme go! Please! Don’t hurt me!”

The strong grip put her down on the couch, not even caring to take in mind her protests. The lad placed her down on the couch and sat next to her with a cold expression. He was a short guy, with small eyes and cute lips. His eyes were dark brown, his hair had a mint green color and pierced ears.

A nice, a little taller boy with light brown hair and dark brown eyes kneeled in front of her, placing his hands on the couch, smiling softly yet worryingly.

Nefeli pushed herself on the back of the couch, as another boy with black hair and dark brown eyes sat next to her, equally short as the one on her other side. He had the same smile the one in front of her had, his ears pierced as well.

She had a terrified expression on her face, bringing her legs on her chest, hugging them tightly, and looking at all the boys who were circling her, everyone with the same shocked yet anxious expression on her face. She had started believing what her friend told her some minutes before and she was really scared.

“Please don’t hurt me, I’m begging you, I’ll do everything you’ll tell me, just please don’t hurt me!” she yelled, and placed her head n between her knees.

“Hurt you? Why would we ever hurt you?” a boy with red hair and dark brown eyes, with pierced ears and tattoos on his hand asked confused, with puppy dog eyes.

Nefeli rose her vision and looked at all seven of them, ready to burst into tears “Y-you won’t?”

The boys looked at each other confusingly, like Nefeli was telling them the weirdest thing “Of course not, why would we?” another one asked, with large shoulders and weird-shaped finger, blond hair, brown eyes, and a deeper.

“Don’t tell us you believe what everyone says about us...” another one said, with black hair and brown eyes, equally tall as the tattooed one, a hurt of disappointment and hurt in his voice.

“H-How do you k-know?” she shuttered, still not uncurling herself from the small ball she had formed herself. She was feeling truly afraid. Whatever she thought wasn’t existing, was now in front of her, talking to her like they were alive.

The lads shared a look and sighed deeply. “We are not going to hurt you, don’t worry,” the short, smiley one said, sadness taking a place on his smile and voice.

“Who are you?” Nefeli asked, gaining some confidence, but still hiding behind her legs.

“What do you wanna know about us?” the tallest one asked, seriously, trying to hide his emotions behind a stern voice. Nefeli was taken aback by the sternness of his voice and pressed herself more on the cushions on her back, making everyone understand they were scaring her.

“Namjoon, don’t scare her!” the sweet one in front of her scolded the tall, whose name is apparently Namjoon, and then turned to her with a soft smile, rubbing her leg.

And Nefeli surprisingly didn’t flinch.

“We are not what people think Nefeli, we never hurt people, neither physically nor mentally. We could never” he said, his eyes sparkling and screaming honest.

How could she trust them tho? She didn’t even know if they were real or if she was dreaming again. Wait- Was that indeed a dream she had had last night? Or was it them? What the hell was going on?

“Then?”

“We just wanted to make people happy! I mean, I am sure you have already understood and you know we are ghosts, I guess” he said, while everyone else remained silent.

“Who are you? What do you want from me then?” she asked, earning glances from every boy.

“I am Hoseok,” he sweet boy in front of her said “This is Yoongi, then Jimin” he pointed to the short ones “Jungkook, Taehyung” he continued with the red-haired one and the deep-voiced one “And then Namjoon and Jin” he finished with the tallest one the boy with the large shoulders and smiling softly at her, his sweet lips and nose making her melt.

“Call me Jin” he smiled warmly at her, giving her a feeling of hospitality and love. She smiled back and nodded her head

“And we don’t want anything from you Nefeli. We just live here as well as you” Namjoon explained with cute eyes sparkling.

However, except for melting, that made her more upset. There was no way Nefeli was gonna live in a haunted house. Especially with ghosts! Like, no! She bought that house because she wanted to be alone! Not because she wanted to live with freaking ghosts!

“B-But I moved here because I wanted to live by myself, not with seven um... boys” she was feeling weird to say in their face that they were ghosts. It was not polite.

“Don’t worry about it, we are not gonna have any communication if you don’t wanna! We don’t wanna be a burden to you” Jimin assured next to her.

Nefeli immediately felt really bad. It was like she was feeling like she was stealing their home. Where they had lived their life! Where they had spent and they still spend memorable moments. And they weren’t the ones who people were said to be. She could see it in their eyes. The moment she got terrified they were gonna hurt her, the sadness that filled their eyes and faces cannot be described with words. It was sure they could not even hurt a single ant, how could they hurt the young journalist? They couldn’t.

“No! You are not a burden to me!” she semi-yelled and sat crossed legs on the couch, holding a pillow.

How could she make them feel like that? It was terrible! She shouldn’t have said that! It was so mean...

However, the next words shocked her...

“Of course not, you are a burden to us” Yoongi hissed next to her, and then he vanished, leaving an unbearable silence behind him, filling the room.

Nefeli was beyond shocked, even tho the boys didn’t seem as much as her.

“I um...” she tried to say something but nothing came out. She was unable to. No one had ever talked to her like that. What had she done now?

“Don’t worry Nefeli, you are not a burden. He is just um, emotionally attached with the house” Jungkook explained, playing with his fingers, not daring to look at her.

And she only nodded. Like she could do something else...

“Ahhh, I think I may go and calm him down a little” Hoseok said, looking at the ground, “Sorry for that sweetie” and with that he vanished as well.

“Nefeli don’t worry, we are not gonna have much communication with you, you can have your life, and we can have yours” Namjoon explained and they all vanished, except Jimin.

“If you need anything, you can always call us, we will be around” he smiled and left too, leaving her more confused. ‘I guess I just found my new roommates...’ she sighed and went straight to bed.

Next morning:

Nefeli woke up from hysterical laughing coming from... nowhere... And then it hit her. The boys.

She looked at her clock and groan in frustration. 10:26 in the morning. Nefeli was the hugest sleepyhead on the whole wide universe and she was planning on sleeping till midday, however, the boys had other plans.

She got up from her comfy bed and got inside her bathroom to do her business. She applied lotion on her skin and brushed her teeth before she goes to the kitchen to make some vanilla caramel tea. However, the laughter didn’t die down. It was being kept going. Sometimes some giggles, sometimes hysterical laugher. Sometimes loud, sometimes quiet. Sometimes hiccupy, sometimes airy. Sometimes normal, sometimes hoarse. But it never ended.

She was putting some honey in her tea, when it died down, making her relieved. Finally, her ears could rest. Too much noise for so early in the morning. She hoped that now she lived alone she could have the quiet she wants. But no...

However, she did not want to give in and leave the house. She didn’t have the money anyway. So she was stuck with them.

She turned around, taking a ship from her hot tea, only to spill it out in shock. Jungkook was standing behind her, ready to grab a glass of the cupboard, all red, sweat dropping off of his forehead and drained tears on his cheeks, as a grin was forming on his face. “What the hell?!” she yelled, almost dropping the mug.

“Oh I am sorry Nefeli, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted some water, I am a little tired,” he said casually like he didn’t just appear out of nowhere.

“I am sure you are” Nefeli mumbled jokingly and took a sip from her tea, smiling softly. She didn’t mind the tickling, the laughter, and all, at all, she just wanted her sleep back tho.

Jungkook smirked and walked past her, to the sink to pour some water. Nefeli grinned widely and drank some more, enjoying the sweet flavor. But she didn’t have too much time to swallow properly because the mug was being grabbed off of her hands, placed on the table, and she felt hands kneading fastly her sides, making her scream and then fall into hysterical laughter, trying to pry the fingers off of her, without success of course.

“NAHAHAHA!” she cried and fell on the ground, kicking the air, laughing loudly.

“Hmm, jackpot” Jungkook teased, kneading faster but softly her sides and bringing his face closer to hers, smirking from ear to ear. He was clearly enjoying that. And it would be a major lie if Nef would say she wasn’t enjoying that too.

“PLEAHAHAHAHASE!” Nefeli tried to grab his wrist, but every time he would move his hands higher or lower her sides, driving her crazy.

She was rolling on the floor, rosy cheeks and a huge grin on her face as she was kicking the air and was trying to stop the fingers. However, she was doing it in a way where she wasn’t really stopping him. It wasn’t like she really wanted him to stop.

“Looks like someone is more ticklish then” Jungkook winked at her, bending down fastly and blowing a short raspberry on her side, making her scream even louder. One more positive thing about that house; no one could listen to her shrieks.

Jungkook proceeded and pinned her arms above her head, doing the only one thing which tickles her more than anything; he nibbled on her lower ribs and all the way up.

The lad continued nibbling on her hypersensitive ribs for good 5 more minutes before he decided to show some mercy on her. Jin pulled away from Nefeli smirking, leaving her panting and curling up in a small ball of herself, panting and leftover giggles escaping her mouth.

“Now you are tired as well” he chuckled and stuck his hand out for her to help her stand up.

“Good morning to you too um...” Nefeli dragged her sentence, trying to remember his name, with no success tho.

“Jungkook, I am the youngest out of them” the boy smiled softly.

The silence which followed was uncomfortable, with a hint of comfort. They were standing awkwardly, mug and glass on hands, but the atmosphere was merely. The silence was taking away all the ghost tickles away from Nefeli and was making Jungkook calming down.

Nefeli could still not believe what was happening. She was living with seven ghosts... Some hours ago, she wasn’t even believing in them and now she lives with 7. It was like she was in another universe, with all the paranormal things she had seen in Supernatural. The next thing she was expecting to see was Dean Winchester approaching her. But she kinda loved it. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since she had met them and she was already feeling okay with that and she was enjoying it.

“And what do you think you are doing?” a heavy voice broke the silence and her thoughts, making both their head snap towards the direction where it was coming.

The figure which was standing there sent shivers down Nefeli’s spine as these cold brown eyes were piercing her warm, chocolate ones. The polar glare was hiding an icy breeze behind it and his gaze was towering her, even tho the lad was short. Yoongi was standing there, glaring at both the poor girl and his friend, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I didn’t see you there Yoongz,” Jungkook said casually, not meeting his gaze tho.

“I think we promised not to have any communication with her!” he growled, pointing a finger at Nefeli who was already feeling too bad. What had she done? Nothing. If she knew they were living there, she wouldn’t have come. And she never pressed or even asked them to talk with her.

“Calm down dude, I just came to drink some water” Jungkook tried to defend himself, even tho he knew Yoongi’s opinion. And he knew there was no way he would change his mind.

“And you were tickling her!” the shirt boy pointed out, his eyes burning. However, they were hiding something else behind that cold mask. There was sadness and hurt behind them. Like, he was missing something.

Nefeli didn’t dare to say anything. She was simply standing in the middle of the two lads, watching them arguing, feeling worse than ever. She could understand he didn’t want her there, and she was feeling too bad that she couldn’t do anything about it. She didn’t have the money to move again, and she definitely wasn’t wheeling to chat with Yoongi. It’s not she was afraid or something, no. It’s just that she didn’t know what to say. She would probably do something wrong and she would make him more upset. And that’s something she never wanted to.

“Jesus dude! We were just messing, chill!” Jungkook complained from behind her, making Nefeli feel even more uncomfortable.

Yoongi narrowed his eyes and then turned to the young girl’s direction, not moving from his spot. His gaze tho was enough to send new shivers down Nefeli’s spine.

“You” he pointed again at her “Are not gonna destroy everything! I was tryna hard to forget! You didn’t come here to ruin it!” he raised his voice, widening his eyes, making him look like he was ready to attack Nefeli. And with that, he vanished.

If we say Nefeli wasn’t taken aback by his tone, it would be a lie. She wasn’t expecting Yoongi to talk to her like that.

“What did he mean?” Nefeli asked curiously, unable to understand the young lad.

Jungkook sighed and set his glass on the kitchen counter, running his hand on his face. He sat on the couch, patting the space next to him for Nefeli to sit.

“Yoongi had a sister around your age,” Namjoon said, as everyone appeared behind her, except Hoseok, and Yoongi, making Nefeli flinch.

“Seriously you guys need to stop popping out of nowhere” she chuckled nervously as sat crossed legs on the couch next to Jungkook, everyone else taking a seat around them “And where is that girl now?”

The lads exchanged looks and sighed deeply, with hurt in their eyes and voice. It was sure that something was up with this girl... She probably had hurt Yoongi too much or they weren’t on good terms and they were fighting a lot. Nefeli doesn’t have any siblings but she knows how it feels to fight with your siblings. All her cousins have siblings and they are always fighting.

“Yoongi and Haeun were really close. She was a really shy girl and really ticklish as well. Yoongi loved to play fight and tickle with her. When he was with Haeun, he was a completely different person. Yoongi was tickling her to tears almost every day. It was their thing. He was so protective and caring for her. We weren’t close with her, because Yoongi was afraid that any of us would fall in love with” Namjoon chuckled at the memory, whispered loud enough for us to hear. His voice was cracking and a soft smile was playing on his face.

“However, one day everything changed,” Jimin said, taking a serious look “One day their house caught fire. Everyone managed to get out, except her. Yoongi tried to get in to save her but failed. They found her inside the house charred after a few days. From that day on, Yoongi could do nothing but cry. She cried for years, blaming herself for not being able to save her. And that’s why he got mad at Jin tickling you. He remembered Haeun”

“Hey! It wasn’t me!” the oldest one complained and all the heads snapped towards him “It was Kook!” he pointed at Jungkook who just rolled his eyes and ignored him “Whatever”

“Remember the hysterical laughter you friend was talking about?” Taehyung asked, ignoring as well his older friend, and Nefeli with confused and still wide eyes nodded “It was hers”

Nefeli felt her heart breaking into tiny pieces. It was so sad that a young person had suffered so much in his life. And even sadder that an even younger person lost her life in such a torturous way. Yoongi wasn’t the kindest boy she had ever met since yesterday, but she of course never wanted him to be hurt at all.

“One day though, we had decided to go on a trip to Berlin to help Yoongi snap out of it a little” Jin looked at her ready to burst into tears “The plane crashed. We all died. Since then, we promised ourselves that we would make people happy and smiling. Like Yoongi would want Haeun to be” he let some crystal tears roil down his cheeks but whipped them fastly with the back of his wrist, sniffling a little. “This house you are living right now is his old home, where she died and their parents rebuild them someday after that. The owners you met are their parents”

“We chose to live here with them because of Yoongi” he explained, looking at Nefeli dead in the eyes.

Nefeli’s eyes widened in shock and felt something inside her falling. This was the most sorrowing thing she had ever heard, but at the same time, she was feeling like she was living in a house which somewhen was filled with love. Yoongi’s love.

“And what happened to the girl? I mean you are all ghosts, they must have been reunited!” she exclaimed, bouncing a little on the couch, ready to cry as well.

“Nefeli it’s not that simple” Namjoon place a hand on her shoulder and sat down next to her “When you become a ghost you live inside someone’s love. But when the person who loves you the most dies you are vanishing forever. So when Yoongi died... We tried hard to bring her back. We really did. But we didn’t manage anything. He lost her forever, and we couldn’t do anything about that”

Nefeli couldn’t help but let the salty tears roll down her now rosy cheeks. She was feeling really bad. Like she had stolen and burn those memories from Yoongi. How could she be so mean? Of course, it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know that, but she was feeling like it. Like she was so cruel...

“So that’s why he acted like that...” she whispered in realization and everyone nodded “I-I am so sorry, I didn’t know that. It’s all my fault, I think I need to move with my friend until I find a new house,” she said playing with her fingers. Of course, she didn’t want to live in this place, but she couldn’t stand the idea of making Yoongi feel really bad and sorrowful.

“Nononononononoo, it’s not your fault, please don’t think like that!” Taehyung sat in front of her, taking her hands in his own “Nothing is your fault, you couldn’t know about us. And you don’t have to move with your friend. We all know you like living away from town. Please don’t blame yourself about anything!” he smiled sweetly at her, trying to convince her with his eyes to stay

Jin smiled softly and pulled her in for a hug, her back on his chest “Don’t worry, there’s nothing you can do. We will try to convince him to at least be a little nicer to you. And you are not going anywhere!” he said as Nefeli snuggled onto him, making her giggle.

She felt really good in his embrace. Like everything was better. The boys were looking at her in awe and she couldn’t help but blush but she was feeling good. The boys really wanted her to stay with them. They didn’t have someone to talk with. Someone to play with and have some fun. When they were going out of town, everyone would recognize them, so they had to steal whatever they wanted from Yoongi’s parents or from stores.

But now Nefeli wasn’t seeing them as ghosts, but as normal boys. Her friends. And she wasn’t afraid of them anymore. She was feeling nice like she could trust them.

They stayed like that for almost two minutes, in comfortable silence, before Nefeli decided to speak again “Well... I guess we can spend some time together every day if you want as well” she said shyly and blushed a little as everyone’s face lit up and they rushed on them hugging her tightly in a group hug.

At least Yoongi wasn’t there to see them... He would feel really bad and even worse, get mad. And that was something Nef didn’t want at all...

A few days after:

Nefeli and the boys had created a nice bind. They would eat all together and have movie nights almost every night. The boys were making Nef laugh really much and they would usually tickle her, only when Yoongi wasn’t near tho. They knew it would upset him.

However, Yoongi never appeared. And that was making Nefeli really sad. How she wishes she could talk to him. Learn more things about him and have fun with him as well. But he didn’t want the same things as her. He was always cold towards her.

However, today was a different day. Today all the boys had gone out God knows where and she was alone. Nef wasn’t feeling good tho. She was feeling really down. She wanted to cry but she didn’t know why. It was one of those days where she wanted cuddles and some cheering up but nothing had happened.

She was currently sitting on her bed, crystal tears rolling out of her eyes and down her puffy, now rosy cheeks as some Three Days Grace music was playing in the background. She was curled up in a small ball of herself, burying her face in the pillow.

Suddenly she felt a hand rubbing her back affectionately, making her breathing relax.

“Tae please, leave me alone” she sobbed and snuggled more into her pillow.

However, the voice which rang in her ears wasn’t Tae’s. It was a voice she would never expect to hear again. It was the same voice she heard that night when something was tickling her knees and then whispered goodnight at her. It was the same heavy but sweet voice.

“Why are you crying?” that voice tho was familiar to her from somewhere else. And she couldn’t make the connection then, but now she could. And she was beyond shocked.

She turned around and with her watered, red eyes she saw Yoongi sitting there, trying to calm her down, the same serious expression on his face, and completely taking Nefeli by surprise. You cannot blame her for not expecting Yoongi to be there.

“Wha- Why are you here?” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes and sitting crossed legs in front of him, clutching on her pillow tighter.

“I asked something, why you are crying?” he asked, scooping closer to her. And she didn’t move...

She sighed and looked down on her lap, playing with her fingers “I-I don’t know, I felt like crying, I am sorry, I didn’t want to upset you”

Yoongi sighed as well, taking her hand in his larger one, shocking Nefeli once again. He was showing her his soft side for the first time in so many days he was being rude and arrogant towards her.

“The boys told me that you know,” he said, making her raise her vision, looking at him with her big, doe eyes. “You remind me so much of her, the same hair, the same eyes, the same height... the same spots, you are almost exactly like my Haeun” his voice broke when he mentioned his sister, making Nefeli wonder whether he could help him or not. Whether her presence there was helping him or upsetting him more. “They also told me how you are feeling. And I am so sorry about it. But it was really hard for me to control it. When I saw my parents moving away I felt like a part of me was being uprooted from within me. Then I saw you. You look so like my sister that I felt like you were replacing her here. And I got really mad. I thought that if I were discourteous with you, I would think less about her. But I was wrong. The more I was being rude to you, the more I was feeling bad. And when Namjoon and Jin told me how you felt guilty and you wanted to move again, I- Nefeli I am so sorry. Please don’t leave!” Yoongi’s tears rolled down his cheeks, as he pulled Nef in for a tight hug, rubbing the back of her head and her back soothingly.

“Yoongi please don’t cry, everything is alright, I won’t leave!” she was really taken aback by his sudden action of affection and softness. He never expected him to apologize to her like that. And in such a short time. It had passed only some days since she moved in and it was the first time Yoongi was sweet and kind towards her.

Yoongi felt like he had gone so harsh on his own sister. Looking straight into Nefeli’s chocolate brown eyes, he could see Haeun looking back at him. And he understood that the young journalist wasn’t responsible for anything. He couldn’t stop anyone from having fun and messing with each other, tickling each other and laugh together. He was just missing those moments and he was jealous he couldn’t have them anymore with his sister.

Nefeli and Yoongi stayed cuddled, him in her embrace as Yoongi was mentally accusing himself for Nefeli’s wanting to move away again cause of him.

Suddenly Yoongi felt tears in his soft hair, watering his head. He raised his head and saw Nefeli crying tiny, bitter tears, trying not to make any sound so as she wouldn’t catch Yoongi’s attention. But she failed.

“Now why are you crying?” he asked her, sitting upon his knees in front of her, piercing her with his eyes.

Nefeli sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve “I feel really bad. It's my fault you feel that way and I reminded you of what happened and I hurt you so much” she admitted, feeling guiltier than ever. Her mind was being tortured with that thought and her stomach was formed into the tightest knot she had ever felt.

Yoongi’s heart dropped. What had he done to her? “Don’t say that Nefeli, it’s really not your fault...” he caressed her hair soothingly, trying to convince her.

But he was doing nothing. The young girl couldn’t stop blaming herself for what was happening and what she had caused in Yoongi’s heart and the happy memories that they now were dismal she had reminded him. It was all her fault, she was sure about it.

Droplets had stopped rolling down her cheeks and her nose was now unblocked, but she couldn’t help but feel guilty “If I wasn’t there tho, nothing of that would have happened and you wouldn’t have remembered all these, I am so sorry Yoongi” she whispered, playing with her fingers out of nervousness and regret.

“No Nefeli, it’s not like that! Haeun was, is, and will ever be in my heart and I will never forget her, but that didn’t give me the right to be a jerk to you!” he frowned his eyebrows together, his eyes pleading for her to believe him, and his hands gripping hers as he was trying to persuade her it was not her fault.

They stayed like that for a while. No one was talking and no one was doing anything at all. Yoongi was staring at Nefeli and Nefeli was staring at Yoongi.

Until them both burst into loud giggles.

I guess no one is good at starting competitions.

It was the first time Nefeli could hear Yoongi laugh. And he has a really cute laugh. His white teeth were making his gummy smile shining more as his shoulders were bouncing a little from the giggles. His eyes had formed into thin lines and his nose had scrunched up.

They continued giggling like maniacs and as the seconds were passing by, they would die down, but the smiles on their faces would remain still. Yoongi was like a whole another person when he was laughing. ‘He should be like that more often’ she thought.

“Nefeli, I am really sorry for what was happening these days. I was really cruel towards you” Yoongi apologized once again, his smile not leaving his face.

But there was something in that smile.

Something Nefeli hadn’t seen before.

There was pureness. Softness. Happiness. Emotions like them.

“It’s alright Yoongi, really” she smiled fondly and rubbed his arm soothingly.

Nefeli had completely forgotten that Yoongi was so rude to her since the day she moved in. She could now see a sweet boy who had completely regretted what he had done and was tryna make it up for her really hard. She had completely forgotten that he was a ghost. She was seeing him like an ordinary boy who was really pissed off at her. It was really hard for her to get used to living with supernatural creatures when she never believed in them.

Yoongi, on the other hand, was feeling guiltier than ever. He had made her wanna leave the house she was tryna to buy for so many months and she made her be afraid of him. At first, that was what he wanted to do, but then, when his friends told him how Nefeli was feeling, Yoongi felt something breaking inside him. He knew he must apologize and convinced her not to leave like that.

“Please, don’t leeeeeave” he dragged his words in a way like he was begging her to stay. Which practically was exactly what he was doing.

Nefeli chuckled and rubbed his head affectionately “For the last time Yoongi, I am not gonna leave, don’t worry” she said sweetly as he placed his head on her chest, in between her legs.

The two young adults cuddled together and if anyone saw them, their jaws would drop on the ground. Yoongi had always been a cold boy towards everyone except his friends and the fact that now he was showing his well-hid affectionate face to someone except them was more surprising and unexpected.

However, there was only one thing that was now torturing her poor mind. Something she couldn’t forget. That voice that night. That night it was Yoongi who was... tickling her. The same cold boy who was against tickling, that night he was tickling her.

“Yoongi,” Nef asked and he just hummed in response, not meeting his gaze “Why were you tickling my knees that night?” she asked, feeling a blush rising on her face.

“I told you, you remind me of Haeun. I felt like I was tickling her” he said casually, playing with the hem of her hoodie.

Nefeli felt so weird at that moment. She felt flattered and loved by Yoongi and that means a lot to her, but at the same time, she felt like she was replacing her in his heart. And that was something she never wanted to do.

Yoongi continued looking down at his fingers which were still playing with her blouse, when a wide smirk appeared on his face “I know you liked it” he asked, not even looking at her face, taking Nefeli by surprise.

“H-How do y’know that?!” she exclaimed shocked and brutally stopped playing with his hair.

Yoongi just chuckled and shook his head “I can hear people's souls. When someone is happy, I can hear a sweet-sounded bell coming from them. When someone is feeling sorrow, I hear a weird noise, like it’s screaming for help. Every feeling has its different noise. And that’s only when I allow myself to hear it, it’s my own special power as a ghost” he explained like nothing was happening like it was the most normal thing in the world. Nef stayed like that, staring at him with wide eyes and gasped mouth.

“Oh” was the only thing she said, as she felt embarrassment rising inside her. She had never told anyone that she likes being tickled and even if someone had understood something, no one had ever pointed it out. And now it was like someone was exposing her to herself and she didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly the duo felt two more presence behind their backs watching them. Nefeli and Yoongi looked behind them and they both smiled brightly at Hoseok and Taehyung who appeared out of nowhere, smiling softly and sweetly from ear to ear. Taehyung was leaning on the door frame with arms crossed in front of his chest and Hoseok was resting his torso on the wall next to the door, hands in his pockets.

“Ahh, I see you two are getting along after all” Hoseok exclaimed proudly, taking a seat next to Yoongi and Taehyung following close, and sitting near Nef’s feet.

Yoongi and Nefeli looked at each other smiling and nodded happily. Ahh, who could imagine that an iceberg could get along with a warm girl like her? No one.

“I told you that they would become close after all” Taehyung nudged Hoseok’s arm and they both laughed.

“Apparently Yoongi is a nice company” Nefeli admitted and smiled at Yoongi who was still playing with that hem.

“Don’t tell me you are gonna forget us and stick with him!” Hoseok poked her sides fastly making her fall back with giggles. Her sides have always been probably one of her worsts spots and pokes are somehow heaven/hell for her. They tickle her so much.

“Nohohahahaha I promise ahahaha!” she giggled loudly and she tried to grab his wrists just when he stopped. However, Nef didn’t really want him to stop. After all that crying and heavy aura, she wanted something to lighten up the mood.

The other two boys were smiling smugly at the scene in front of them. Amusement was formed in their eyes and they were grinning from ear to ear. It was the first time Nefeli could see amusement in Yoongi’s eyes and it was probably the best thing she had ever seen. His eyes were sparkling and his cute smile was making his nose scrunching up a little. He was adorable under his cold mask.

However, his next words sent a shiver down her spine and she felt her face heating up in embarrassment.

“She loves it, I can hear her soul giggling” Yoongi smirked and the rest of the boys copied him.

“Is that so Neffie? You wanna get tickled?” Hoseok smirked down at the girl who was now lying on her back on the bed and started poking all around her sides again “That’s great!”

Taehyung felt so happy to see his friend smiling so bright after so long time. It had been many dedicates since they died and he and never seen Yoongi being so happy. Maybe that girl was a blessing after all.

He laughed loudly as he saw Hoseok trying to battle the young girl’s hands which were desperately trying to grab his wrists and giggling like a maniac. So he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed her flying hands and pinned them above her head and sat on them, making everything 10 times worse for her.

“Nahahahaha lehehemme gohohoho!” she giggled loudly, shaking her head left and right from the ticklish sensations.

Tae wiggled fingers in front of her face bringing to the surface louder giggles. That was the most torturous thing someone could ever do. It tickles her without even touching her “But I thought you liked it” he teased from above her as put his wiggling fingers on her bare armpits, running them up and down softly like a feather.

“Come on Yoongz, join the fun” Hoseok called Yoongi by his nickname to give him more motivation. Everyone knew how much it means to him and they wanted to make him snap out of his thoughts for some minutes.

“Sure” Yoongi smirked and sat on her shins, clawing behind her knees the same way he was clawing that night, getting the same giggles he got then.

Nefeli was giggling like a maniac, not knowing what to try and stop first. It was like tiny bugs were running up and down her skin. Loud giggles were echoing the whole house as she was shaking her head left and right while the boys were only smirking widely down at her.

“Nahahahaha!” she giggled ringingly as the pokes on her sides, the circles on her armpits, and the clawing on her knees became faster. She kicked her knees up and down, trying to stop the feeling but nothing seem to work.

“Aww look how much you are giggling! You must really like this, right Yoongi? What do you hear?” Hoseok teased, poking her ribs fastly.

“Ah I cannot concentrate on her inside noises Hobi, her giggles are too loud” Yoongi replied mischievously as he dug fastly behind her knee, sending her into louder fits of giggles, almost hysterical “See what I mean?”

“She is so ticklish, it’s adorable!” a cute voice sounded from behind them and they both snapped their heads towards it.

Jungkook stood there smiling softly his famous bunny grin Jimin, Namjoon, and Jin who were copying his smile. They had heard all the laughter and they had come there to check what was happening. And to say they were surprised to see Yoongi in that position was an understatement. It was like a weight left over their shoulders.

“Ahh, I still remember her first day here when I poked her sides, how much she was giggling with a simple touch” the bunny-toothed guy continued as he folded his arms and leaned back on the wall, watching Nef squirming under their devilish fingers.

“WHAT?!” she cried but fell back again to hysterical giggles as Hoseok moved his hands to her ribs “It was youhouhouhou?!” she kicked her feet and legs more as her soft skin was being tortured.

“Ah yeah, I saw it too, she is just so sensitive! I bet a single feather could tickle her!” Jin exclaimed and giggled as he heard her giggles becoming loud laughter when Hoseok shook his fingertips on the middle of her tummy.

Namjoon shook his head at her ticklishness “Let’s test it then” he said and did something Nefeli could have never imagined; he moved his hand in a circled motion and a soft, white, long feather appeared.

Nefeli’s eyes widened for a second as she saw him approaching her with the feather in his hand but Taehyung who was now digging into her armpits didn’t let her. The sudden feeling sent her in new fits of pure laughter and a nice shiver down her spine.

“Nanananahahahaha!” she cried and shook her head, thrashing around as Namjoon raised her blouse more and the fresh air hit her warm skin.

“Already giggling girl? I didn’t even touch you yet” the young lad chuckled at her panicked expression and twirled the soft item in between his fingers “Ohokay okay, stop for a sec” he ordered the three boys and they immediately stopped, letting her breathe for a brief second.

Key phrase; a brief second.

Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi had her still pinned down and the other three boys circled them to see what was gonna happen “Watch this” Namjoon smirked widely and kneeled next to her side, lowering his hand towards her tummy.

“Nonononono Namjoon please nonononahahahahaha Namjoohoon nahahahahahaha!” her giggles came out screamingly and she tried desperately to shot her arms down as she shot her arms down but she couldn’t. Those giants were keeping her pinned down for good. Namjoon dipped the feather in her bellybutton and twirled it around, destroying every nerve she had in her body from how much it tickled.

It was really surprising because she knew her bellybutton was not even ticklish when someone tickles her in there with their finger. But the feather... Oh gosh, it makes her feel so sensitive and melts her like ice under the warm sun. The giggles were running out of her mouth like a waterfall and her head was shaking from side to side fastly.

“Wow, even a simple feather tickles you? You are so ticklish Neffie!” Jin giggled along with her and squeezed her side twice, earning a giggly scream from Nefeli “Oh, too ticklish sides? This will come in handy” he pointed out smirking and everyone laughed, agreeing with the oldest.

“Agh plehehehase nahahahahahaha!” she thrashed around and tried to escape the tickles but nothing could stop them from attacking her mercilessly.

All of sudden, she felt Hoseok getting up and Yoongi taking his place before she could even react. Yoongi traced softly his index nail from her elbow down to her hipbone and up to her elbow again and again and again repeatedly while the feather was still twirling around her bellybutton. Never slower, never faster. Up and down. Again and again. It was driving her crazy!

“Mm I think her feet need a massage, don’t you think Kook?” Taehyung grinned widely at the youngest one, who simply smirked and rushed to get one of her tiny feet.

“I’ll get the other one!” Jimin jumped on his feet happily and grabbed gently her other ankle, sitting it on his lap and Jungkook did that same.

“NO! Dahahahan’t you dahahahare!” she cried before they even start, knowing from experience that her feet are one of her worst spots along with her sides and her ribs.

“We haven’t even touched you yet, chill Nef!” Jimin laughed and wiggled his fingers just above her sole to tease her even more.

“NO!” she yelled in between her giggles, causing every boy to stop and look at her with wide eyes.

The ponytail she had was now half-destroyed and pieces of hair were all over her grinning face. However, a small pout appeared on her face, replacing the happing face she had some seconds ago.

Namjoon clicked his fingers and the feather disappeared, Taehyung let her arms go and Hoseok stopped smiling. Instead, a pout formed on his lips, increasing how cute he already looked but at the same time, a hint of worry could be found in his eyes.

“B-But you like it...” Yoongi mumbled under his breath and looked around his friends to understand what was happening but no one was moving. They were all waiting for Nefeli’s reaction.

‘Oh no... I didn’t mean it! What can I do now? I cannot ask them to start again! Poor Yoongi, he looks hurt, I didn’t wanna hurt him! Look at him...’ Nefeli thought to herself, the pout she had on her lips growing bigger, still laying down and arms collapsed on her torso.

However, she felt a weird tingling before a chuckle of amusement came from above her tho and everyone’s heads snapped towards Taehyung “She didn’t want us to stop, it was only a reflex, she just said it” he chuckled again, this time everyone else doing the same.

Realization hit her when she understood what Yoongi said about powers. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who had powers. Everyone had!

“Is that true Nef?” Jungkook asked, a hint of amusement playing in his as he held her ankle higher and tighter, careful not to hurt her.

“Wha- How do you know that?!” she exclaimed with wide eyes and everyone else laughed at her.

“I can read minds, little one, this is my special power” he smirked as he saw her eyes growing even bigger. That was the tingling she felt.

“I can move things with my mind” Namjoon explained “Hoseok moves faster than light, Jin heals wounds, Jungkook transforms into various creatures and Jimin cheers people up without them knowing” her jaw dropped to the ground as soon as she heard their powers. They were all so different but at the same time so unique and amazing!

However, Nefeli was concentrated on something else. She wanted tickles. And she wanted Yoongi to be happy. She was feeling like she had hurt him. She just learned how much it means to him but yet he stopped them brutally because of a stupid fear. She had never been tickled on her feet before, but she knows this is one of her most ticklish spots. Even the thought tickles her.

Yoongi and Taehyung shared a knowing look and grinned widely, signaling at Jungkook and Jimin to get her feet while she was still didn’t expect them to move.

Electric shots hit her body as she felt five fingers with sharp blunt nails scribbling all over each one of her hypersensitive feet. Nefeli screamed loudly and fell into hysterical laughter, thrashing around and punching whichever angle on the bed she could so as to stop the torturous sensations.

“AGH NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she screamed loudly and everyone tried to cover their ears because of how loud it was, chuckling at her.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other, understanding that she was too sensitive there and they had gone too much since the beginning so they slowed down, enough for her to fell into hysterical giggles once again.

She could have never imagined her feet would be THAT ticklish and a simple finger could make her scream so loud.

However, to say she wasn’t enjoying that, would be a lie. She loves playfulness and she enjoys being tickled even tho she doesn’t really know why. She could feel butterflies in her stomach even tho she wasn’t in love with anyone and she could feel that she wanted more.

Yoongi tho sensed that and gave a nod to Taehyung to pin her arms again, sitting on them and everyone else positioned themselves around the squirming girl.

Jin sat next to her side while Namjoon clicked his fingers and appeared the feather again, taking a seat on her other side. Hoseok sat again on her shins and Yoongi on her hips while Jungkook and Jimin remained in their places.

The eldest one poked once her side softly, earning a mini scream in between her giggles which made everyone smile at her.

Hoseok tho didn’t start easy on her. He dug fastly his fingers behind her knees as she squealed and bucked her hip in the air, making Yoongi look like he was riding a wild horse.

Taehyung did the same to her armpits while her feet were being scribbled softly and her side was being kneaded by Jin.

Namjoon had dipped again the feather in her bellybutton and was drawing circles in it fastly, not missing to draw some around it before while with his other hand, he was squeezing her other side.

Yoongi on the other hand was doing everything he could to make her laugh as much as she can. With one hand he was drawing fast circles on her hipbone and was squeezing under her bellybutton, her lower tummy.

Nefeli was sent in the loudest laughter she had ever experienced. She was feeling like electricity was hitting her body. But it wasn’t simple electricity. It was an extremely ticklish one!

Everything seemed to be bearable till that moment. Till that torturous moment when all the teasing started.

“Aww look at you! You are so cute!” Namjoon teased, dipping further the feather in her bellybutton. She blushed really hard, harder than she expected.

Nefeli shook her head from side to side and laughed loudly, knowing that this wouldn’t stop the feeling. At least she tried to. She had never experienced any tool and now that a feather was tickling her, she could say that it was feeling like Heaven and Hell at the same time. Too soft yet too ticklish.

“NAHAHAHA AHAHAHAM NAHAHAHAT!” she laughed loudly, unable to open her eyes to look at any of them.

“Then why do you look like it?” Jimin teased from down there on her foot, pinching and wiggling each and every one of her toes.

Jungkook on the other hand had softly pulled back the ones on her other foot and he was scribbling fastly on her poor sole, setting on fire Nefeli’s nerves. Her feet are probably the most ticklish ones someone can meet. Even a soft massage can get her for good.

Suddenly she felt jabs and light squeezes on her other side. Nefeli would have fell off of the couch if the boys weren’t blocking her from how much it caught her off guard.

Namjoon. That evil ghost had used his powers and was moving the feather with his mind while he was squeezing with both hands her side.

“GAH NAMJAHAHAHAN NAHAHAHA!” she arched her back. Jinn saw it as an opportunity to trace her spine up and down, making her arch her back even more.

“There too? You are so sensitive Neffie!” Yoongi teased, squeezing fastly her hips. Yoongi had the widest smile the boys had ever seen. No one in all those years had made him smile so much. If his parents could see him, they would be truly proud and happy.

And this was the moment Nef got to experience Hoseok’s powers for the first time. What I mean by that? Lemme explain it then. Hoseok used his super-speed to scribble fastly her inner thighs, sending her into fits of really loud laughter.

“HOSEAHAHAHAHAHAK!” she tried to shut her thighs together so she would stop him, but she did nothing at all. She was only torturing herself even more.

“Yes baby girl?” the young girl blushed at the new nickname but she couldn’t help her body thrashing around from the new feeling.

“DAHAHAHAHAN’T TEAHAHAHAHAHASE MEAHAHAHA!” of course she didn’t mean it. Nefeli loves being teased and even tease people.

Her mouth had started aching already from how much she was laughing but she was enjoying as much as the boys.

“But whyyyy? You love it!” Jin teased, giving multiple kisses on her bare side. If Nefeli couldn’t stand at all was kisses. Even kisses on her face and cheeks tickle her.

“NAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAT KISSES AHAHAHAHAHA!” she wiggled like a worm, tryna escape the tiny kisses which felt like bugs were running up and down her warm skin.

“Aww someone is sensitive to kisses huh? How interesting” Yoongi smirked and bet down, kissing all over her belly as Jin kept going kissing her side.

A wave of electricity hit all over her body from her neck down to her feet and she let out a scream and started thrashing around, begging for some mercy.

“AGH PLEAHAHAHAHAHASE!” Nefeli hid her head in her shoulder as everyone cooed down at her.

“Please what? Please more? Well... We are not planning on stopping anytime soon, don’t worry” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows as he scratched the base of her toes.

Bad move.

Nefeli kicked out, almost hitting him somewhere she wasn’t supposed to, earning a squeak from Jimin. “Now who told you that you can kick me? You are in for it now!” he sat on her ankle and clicked his fingers, appearing a long, blue paintbrush.

He brushed softly yet fastly all over her hypersensitive foot. Everyone smirked widely as they heard her laughter going almost hysterical.

The six boys shared a look of happiness as they saw Yoongi trying to ride excitedly the roaring girl and he was still kissing airy her belly.

“Aw look at you! A little worm!” Taehyung whispered in her neck as he had bent down before he blew a short raspberry.

“TAEAHAHAHA!” she shrieked and bucked once again her hips in the air.

“Neffie!” he mocked her while her clawed on her hollows with his fingers.

The feather in her bellybutton was still twirling and Namjoon was still squeezing her side faster and faster as the moments were passing by. Lemme tell you that every hair on her body was straight now.

“You have such a soft skin little one,” he said as he poked her sides faster than the speed of light. He was really careful so it wouldn’t hurt her but only tickle her while Jimin moved the brush on her toes.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” her laughter at this point was able to break a glass.

“Yaaaaa don’t scream so much Nefeli! We are not killing you!” Jungkook teased while he was tracings multiple patterns on her sol non-stop.

The young girl couldn’t stop smiling and laughing her heart out. If she was ticklish before, now she was feeling way more sensitive that day. Not because she was being tickled by ghosts but because for some reason their fingers were touching some of her most sensitive nerves on her already too ticklish body.

“Look at this happy, gummy smile!” Yoongi teased and brought his fingers higher, reaching her ribs.

Nefeli let out an inhuman scream and fell into louder laughter as his fingers touched the skin of her hypersensitive ribs, pinching and massaging them. She didn’t know she had THAT ticklish ribs, and it tickled her way more than she could ever expect.

“Whoa, I think you hit the jackpot dude” Jin teased, digging deeper in her side, sending her in a new round of ear-piercing loud laughter.

“NAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAT THEAHAHAHARE!” she roared, not really knowing who she was talking to. Jin on her side? Yoongi on her ribs? Taehyung on the hollows of her armpits? Jungkook and Jimin in her feet? Hoseok behind her knees? The paintbrush on her poor toes? Or the feather in her bellybutton?

Nefeli heard fingers clicking from above her, but she chose to ignore it. However, a buzzing sound made her realize what it was. A toothbrush.

“GAH TAHAHAHAHAHAE NAHAHAHAHA!” she cried laughingly when the tiny toothbrush touched the soft skin of her armpits, sending her in fits of hysterics.

The toothbrush traveled from the flesh skin of her forearm to the sensitive place of her hollows in circle moves, setting on fire her nerves and bringing to the surface mostly screams.

“Agh, my ear!” Jimin complained playfully, playing with her tiny toes like they were piano.

“Okay, let’s count your ribs, I think you miss some” Yoongi smirked widely and before Nefeli could say anything else, the boy had already started massaging her lowest ribs “Oneeeee”

The young girl threw her head back in laughter, unable to even move. The rest of the boys had slowed down a little to the point they were only teasing her body with soft tickles so they could enjoy the scene in front of them.

“Twooooo” he moved to her second-lowest ribs as her laughter turned hiccup.

“Threeeee”

“PLEAHAHAHAHAHAHASE!” she shrieked and arched her back again, shutting her eyes tightly.

“Fouuuur”

“COUNT FASTER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she begged as her tired body collapsed on the mattress again.

“Oh you want me to count faster?” his evil grin grew bigger and brought his fingers on her lowest one again. Then he did something truly unexpected “Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight” he poked all over her ribs, without a specific order.

She had seen before on Tumblr people counting other’s ribs while they were tickling them, but she had never seen that anywhere before, and of course she had never experienced it.

After that tho, as soon as he finished, he bent down and nibbled on them. That was the worst thing someone could do to her. Nibbles. They were driving her crazy, out of her mind!

Jin, Taehyung, and Namjoon looked at each other and they gave a signal to each other. However, they didn’t do anything... They simply vanished... She was still unable to shot her arms down tho... Nefeli got confused but she couldn’t express it. She couldn’t even say a word, only shriek, and laugh.

However, she soon felt fast nibbles on her sides and neck. Yoongi and Hoseok almost fell off of her from how much she exploded and thrashed around. She literally shrieked louder than she ever had before and erupted into hysterical laughter.

The nibbles were mixed with raspberries and giggles from the boys could be heard as a background. Their breaths were tickling her as well and were sending shivers down her spine.

“PLEAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHA MERCAHAHAHAHA!” she begged, unable to form a whole sentence.

However, she knew that she couldn’t take any longer. She desperately needed a break. She wanted to experience more, but if she didn’t take a break soon, she would fade away.

“BREAK! BREAHAHAHAHAKE!” she cried and fell into silent laughter, shaking her head from side to side.

Taehyung, who read her thoughts, gave a signal to everyone else and everyone stopped immediately, pulling away from her.

Yoongi’s eyes widened and he felt anxiety rising inside him. Had he hurt her? Had we gone too far? Had he made her feel uncomfortable?

However, as soon as he heard her giggly soul, relief filled him.

Nefeli curled up in a small ball as soon as everyone gets off of her and the items vanished. Yoongi pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back soothingly as she rested her head onto his chest, still giggling airily.

Jungkook clicked his finger and a glass of water appeared. He pushed the flying glass towards her lightly and that stopped in front of her. She chuckled lightly, still not believing that this was actually happening, and took it gladly, drinking it all.

“Are you alright? Did we go too harsh?” Namjoon asked with concern.

“No, don’t worry, I am completely fine” she gave them a big smile and snuggled more onto Yoongi.

Yoongi on the other hand could feel happiness rushing in him and a wide smile appeared on his face. He remembered how he used to cuddle with Haeun after tickles and she used to snuggle into him like Nefeli was right now. ‘Ah, Haeunnie... I miss you so much, sissy’

Yoongi felt a tingling and immediately understood what had happened. He raised his vision and he saw Taehyung looking at him with a sympathetic smile. Yoongi nodded at him and they both sighed deeply.

“You have to admit that you loved it tho” Jimin winked at Nef. She blushed deeply and hid her face in Yoongi’s chest.

“No, I cannot deny it” she mumbled and everyone’s face lit up.

“And Yoongi seemed to enjoy it too, right?” Jin pointed out.

All the eyes snapped towards him and he looked down shyly, nodding. To be honest, he loved it. And he loved even more that he made Nefeli happy.

‘Should I ask for more? Not too intensive ones t-tickles... Wow why is it really hard to pronounce th-’ she stopped her thoughts when she felt that tingle again. Taehyung.

She looked at him and she saw a smirk formed on his face as he leaned closer to Jungkook and Jimin, whispering something.

She gulped when smirks formed on the two as well and they turned their heads towards her. Did he tell them that I want more? They were up to something.

Before they could do anything, she was snatched from Yoongi’s lap and was placed in between Jin and Yoongi who held each one of her arms collapsed on her torso.

Jungkook then sent her a flying kiss and in a flash of light, he had vanished.

Nef’s widened as she looked at the boys with question “W-Where did he go?” she asked. However, she didn’t have enough time to react when Jimin sat on her ankles, pulling back her toes, fully exposing her poor, bare soles.

“What are you dohohoing?” she giggled loudly, sensing that something was up and that something was gonna happen to her feet, but she couldn’t understand what.

Surprisingly, she heard high-pitched giggles coming from down her feet and she felt something running up and down her poor soles and toes, and in between them. Something like a... Bug.

“Ahahahahaha whahahat ihihihihis thahahahat?!” she giggled loudly and kicked her knees up and down as she was desperately trying to set herself free.

“Be careful! It’s Jungkook!” Namjoon warned as he saw her tryna clap her feet together.

“WHAT?!” she exclaimed in between her giggles.

“He transformed into a ladybug!” they all explained at her, wide smirks on their faces. And as if it wasn’t already too much, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon started poking all over her sides and belly while Jin and Taehyung were tryna keep her arms down on her torso.

“NAHAHAHA PLEAHAHAHASE NAHAHAHAOOOO!” she yelled in between her laughter and tried to squirm away, but at the same time not to move her legs and feet, afraid that she would hurt Jungkook.

Jimin on the other hand was helping Jungkook by scribbling all over her soles as the youngest member was running between, on, and under her toes, sending her into fits of hysterics.

As her most sensitive spots were being attacked, she couldn’t help but scream when Jin dug in her ribs from behind her, falling onto him.

“Coochie coochie coo Nef!” Hoseok whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine while Taehyung was tracing his finger on it up and down, now and then scribbling her lower back as well, and making Nefeli arch it.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAT THE WAHAHAHAHARDS!” ugh those three words are literally the worst tease she can ever receive. It drives her crazy and makes her shy at the same time!

“No? Seriously you cannot take it? Ah, I will keep that in mind” Yoongi teased while kneading fastly her side. Electric shots hit her body once again as she shook her head frantically from side to side, and trying with all her might not to move her legs.

“PLEAHAHAHAHAHASE NAHAHAHAHAHA!” she laughed loudly, dipping her nails and fingers in the soft mattress.

Jungkook had focused in between her toes, which were pulled back by Jimin with one hand, while his other hand was scribbling her feet. Jungkook’s soft giggles could be heard as a background along with the rest of the boys’ louder ones.

Yoongi and Namjoon continued kneading fastly her sides as Jin was digging in her ribs while everyone was cooing at her for how cute she was.

“Ah I think you absolutely love it, you are not even telling us to stop” Hoseok whispered once again in her ear before blowing a huge raspberry on her neck.

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Nefeli shrieked and threw her head back in laughter, as she fell onto Jin, completely exhausted as her laughter turned silent.

However, Hoseok was wrong.

Sweat was sliding down her face and tears had started rolling down her cheeks. Her hair was messy and her breath was stolen away. Her laughter had turned hoarse and her tummy and throat were burning.

‘N-no more...’ she thought, more like begging them to stop, in hope Taehyung would hear her thoughts.

And he did.

She felt the tingling and then Taehyung’s fingers stopping.

“Okay I think that was enough let her breath,” he told the others as they all stopped. They all do as Taehyung says since he can read minds.

Everyone let her go once again and Jungkook returned to his official look as a person. She curled up in a small ball as Namjoon was rubbing her back soothingly and Yoongi was putting pieces of hair behind her ears and massaging her head.

“Are you alright?” they asked her for the second time today and she nodded straight away as Jungkook gave her some water again.

“Ihihihi- I guess I reached my limits” she explained and sat up again, drinking the water. All the eyes were on her, making her shy.

She felt butterflies in her stomach as she thought of what just happened and she realized she had just been tickled by... ghosts. But she didn’t really care. She had fun. And she had made new friends.

“Yoongi, are you okay?” she asked Yoongi, catching him by surprise. How could a girl he had met some days before be so sweet and affectionate towards him when he had been an asshole to her?

He felt a smile appearing on his face as he nodded and kissed her forehead. He hadn’t done that since... Haeun’s death “Thanks for that,” he said and Nefeli copied his warm smile.

Yes, he was thankful. Nefeli had helped him realize something. He had made him realize that life goes on. Even after death. That we may lose people from our lives... but new ones are coming. Our favorite ones are staying in our hearts whether they are alive or not. And if they are dead, we must not stay stuck in their memory. We must move one. We will never forget them, but it will take us nowhere if we cry and refuse to move on from a situation we cannot change at all.

“So you are not gonna leave?” Hoseok asked with pleading eyes, fear in them. None of the boys wanted Nef to leave.

The young girl chuckled softly and rolled her eyes playfully at them “Of course I am not gonna leave!”

All the boys cheered and tackled her into a group hug as huge grins of happiness were reaching everyone’s ears.

That move then was definitely the best decision she had ever taken, and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world...

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shinjukuspiritcommittee · 4 years

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Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

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Wizard of Oz Queen x pre-teen reader Chap. 1; Somewhere over the rainbow

*Author’s note*

And here it is guys my next MOVIE AU fic series. This time this fic based on the classic movie “The Wizard of Oz”. Now I realized something, I was copying and pasting what I wrote in my author’s notes on my Wattpad when I was mentioning this. I know I didn’t really ask you guys about casting choices for this fic, it was only on Wattpad but I think you guys are gonna love whom I’ve chosen to be each of the lovable Wizard of Oz characters that we all probably grew up with.

Warnings: Dog bites, mentions of putting down dog, bit of angst, Paul Prenter, but there is 70′s Queen fluff so expect that.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@queendeakyy

@kairosfreddie

@platawnic

@geek-and-proud

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The summer of 1975 would be a year I would never forget for as long as I live. Not only did I see history come to life, but I also experienced something that almost seemed right out of my favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz. But before I begin, I would like to tell you who I am.

My name is (Y/n) Gale and I live at Rockfield farm studios with my Aunt Em and Uncle Henry. My parents died in a car crash when I was just 4 years old, so my uncle Henry (my father’s eldest brother) took me in and he and Aunt Em became my parental figures.

The only thing my parents left behind was my fateful Welsh Corgi that I named Toto (yes I named him after the dog from the Wizrd of Oz, deal with it). He’s literally the only thing I have left to remember my parents by and he’s always been there for me when I needed him.

I was 12 years old when the famed band Queen came to our home/farm to record their next big album. And throughout that time I grew close to them, and like I mentioned before it was also the day that would change my life forever.

And so our story begins.

It was mid-July and I was running back towards the house with Toto at my side. I had been asked by my uncle to go to the market to grab some food for the guys, however I was forced to go along with the band’s ‘manager’ Paul Prenter.

God that guy just really pisses me off. He’s creepy, manipulative, and wicked. Toto always sensed something off about him cause whenever he came around, Toto would bark and try to bite him. This time he did manage to finally bite Paul on the leg after he snapped at me for not grabbing the right apples for Freddie.

After he bit him, I took Toto and ran right out of the store with Paul threatening to get the police involved. We stopped just a few feet from the house and I knelt down to Toto and said.

“I think we lost him. He didn’t hurt you did he?” I checked him over and felt no bumps or cuts. I hugged Toto close to me and sneered, “He tried to though. But we better go tell Aunt Em what happened. We can’t let the police get involved. C’mon Toto.”

We took off running the rest of the way home. I hopped over the fence that surrounded our home and raced down the hill with Toto running just ahead of me.

“Aunt Em! Aunt Em!” I soon came up to the farm to see my aunt and uncle near the old incubator counting the freshly hatched baby chicks. “Oh Aunt Em you won’t believe what happened at the market! Paul said……”

“(Y/n) please dear we’re trying to count.”

“But Aunt Em Paul said that he’s gonna get the police to take…..”

“Not now (Y/n)! This old incubator finally died out and we’re more than likely to lose all of our chicks.” Uncle Henry said to me sternly as he placed some of the chicks into his hat.

“Aww the poor little things.” I grabbed on chick and held it close to my face so that it wouldn’t die of pneumonia. As Aunt Em placed some of the chicks in with their mother in a small chicken cage, I continued to tell them. “But at the market place Paul was yelling at me and Toto was just defending me! Now he’s gonna get the police to take Toto away! But like I told you he was just protecting me cause Paul was yelling at me for picking up the wrong apples that Freddie likes!”

“Now (Y/n) we’ll discuss this matter later. Right now go find that young lad who said he was an electrical engineer and ask him if he could have a look at this incubator.” Aunt Em told me.

“But……”

“No buts. Right now go!” she ushered me away before going back to the baby chicks.

“Yes Aunt Em.” I spoke solemnly before turning away from the farm and walked towards the studio building where I saw John Deacon before I left for the market.

As I walked along, I felt like something was following me. I looked down to Toto who kept walking beside me before getting ahead of me. Suddenly I was picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder.

“And he finally takes her by surprise and hauls her over. The fierce hunter finally gaining the upper hand!” that soft, slightly raspy voice came from none other than Roger Taylor. I could hear Toto’s frantic barking and he even hopped up and down.

“Roger put me down!” I laughed.

“Fine, fine. But first a little payback.” Suddenly I was spun around like a helicopter. The two of us laughing and shrieking before I was finally tossed into the hay pile. “Victory and Vengeance is mine at last!” he then collapsed into the hay right beside me, the two of us laughing.

“You’re nuts Roger Taylor, you know that right?”

“And what’s wrong with that? Nuts are like your Aunt Em’s cookies it’s the nuts that makes things interesting.” He said as he hovered over me grinning.

“Yeah. Nuts, handsome but brainless.”

“Oi I resent that! I do have a brain! I got my degree in biology after all. So I’m more than just a handsome face.”

“I thought you were a dentist?”

“I was never a dentist and you know that. God I can’t believe Brian and John told you about that.” He said as he bopped my nose with a strand of hay. I raised my hand up and took some hay out of his blonde hair and retorted.

“I’m glad they did, cause now I can brag to my friends about how the drummer of Queen could’ve been their dentist.” It was then Roger began to tickle me.

“Swear you won’t tell that to anyone and I’ll stop.” He threatened as he tickled my stomach. I was kicking up hay until I finally gave in and told him I wouldn’t. With that he stopped and grinned down at me while I tried to regain my breath.

“You’re insane Roger.” He shrugged cheekily.

“But you love me for it.” He said as he bopped my nose again before laying down close to me again.

“Yeah I do.”

“So—do you want to tell me just why you looked upset earlier?” I looked down sadly towards Toto and finally sat up and said.

“Paul’s threatening to have the police take Toto away just because he bit him.”

“He did?” he shot up and looked down at Toto who looked at us with a soft wag of his stub tail. “Atta boy Toto!” he cheered. He patted his leg and Toto soon tried to make his way up the hair pile.

But he sunk down into it due to his size so Rog quickly grabbed him and held him in the air.

“It’s about time someone gave that irritating, self-absorbed bastard a good bite ehh?” Toto barked and tried to lick Roger’s face. Roger brought Toto close to his face and he then began to lick the blonde drummer’s face. Rog softly chuckled as he ruffled through Toto’s fur.

“But Paul said he’s gonna get the police to take him away. What if that really happens?” Rog turned to me and handed Toto back to me as he said.

“I wouldn’t worry about that prick. He’s all talk and no bite. He’s threatened me once or twice about having me being kicked out of the band cause of my constant groupies. But Fred and the others wouldn’t dare replace me.”

“They’d be crazy to.”

“Indeed. But—if by some miracle he’s serious, I’ve got your back. Okay?” I nodded as I stroked through Toto’s fur.

“Thanks Rog. Toto’s—he’s the only thing I have left of my parents. If he’s gone then so are their memories.” Roger brought me into a one armed hug and rested his chin on top of my head.

“I know love. I know.” We stayed there for a moment before I asked him.

“Rog? Is—Deacy still in the studio? I almost forgot that my Aunt Em and Uncle Henry want to talk to him about our broken incubator.”

“Yeah. He’s still working on that song of his. Still won’t tell us what it is but that’s how John is.” I slide off the haystack and set Toto down and told him to come with me. “Oh hey!” I turned around and Rog continued, “I forgot to mention Brian and Fred are in there. So if they’re arguing, you now have a heads up.” I nodded and Toto and I raced to the studio.

The first thing I heard were Brian and Freddie’s voices talking over one another.

“I think Brian dear, this guitar solo you have for my song is beautiful but it needs more…...more…..You know rock and roll feel.”

“Well you know I’m always up for that Fred.” I shook my head at the two of them and that’s when Toto went on ahead and met up with John who was sitting in the corner with a clipboard and a stack of papers around him.

Toto immediately hopped up onto his lap. Ever since they came, Toto’s always been more driven towards John Deacon than any of the other guys. It might be because of his quiet personality, or some kind of aurora about him that only Toto can tell but any chance he gets, Toto will always want to hop onto Deacy’s lap.

“Well it would seem we’ve got a surprise visitor.” John soon spoke up as he set his stuff aside and rubbed Toto’s head. Brian and Freddie soon turned towards me and Brian said.

“And another.”

“(Y/n) my darling don’t be shy, you know you can always welcome here.”

“Sorry guys I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“Oh nonsense dear come on in!” Freddie gestured with his hand gracefully. I walked into the studio when Brian said.

“(Y/n) come here.” He gestured with a come hither of his index finger. I walked right up to him and he immediately began going through my hair and removed a strand of straw in my hair. “How on earth did you get some much hay in your hair?” he asked as he kept going through my hair for more strands.

“Two words. Roger’s revenge.”

“Ahhh. Blondie got back at you from when you scared him into the chicken coop.” Freddie said.

“I tried to tell him that our hens were defensive over their chicks but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“That was rather funny seeing those hens chase after him. And that one that even got on top of his head.” Brian laughed.

“Yep that’s our Gloria. The most protective mama hen of them all.”

“Roger must’ve looked like a tramp to them. So Mama Hen’s gotta do when mama Hen’s gotta do.” Freddie spoke.

“That’s the natural instincts of a mother. I already know Veronica’s feeling that for our son.” John said as he kept petting Toto who was now lying across John’s lap.

“Here one last strand and then you’re free to go.” Brian told me. This one was the most difficult one as it actually pulled against my hair.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”

“Sorry.” Finally the hay strand came out and he gently massaged my scalp to ease the tension. “There, all done.”

“Thanks Brian. Hey Deacy, my aunt and uncle are wondering if you could have a look at our old incubator. It broke down and they want to know if you could fix it.”

“Yeah, I can have a look at it. I can come back to this song later.” He stood up and folded it into his back pocket when Freddie spoke up.

“Deacy dear when can we see this new song you’re writing?”

“You’ll see it once it’s ready. And not until then.” Toto followed at John’s heel as the three of us now stepped outside and walked towards the farm.

“So what is your song about anyway?” I asked.

“Oh no I get enough baggage from Fred, don’t you start now.” He groaned with a playful grin.

“I’m not. I’m just asking out of curiosity.” He sighed and looked down.

“Even if I told you, I doubt the others would allow it to be on the album.”

“Why’s that?” we stopped and that’s when he took his lyric sheet out from his pocket and looked down at it before handing it to me. I took the papers in my hands and unfolded them and right across the top in large handwritten font was the phrase.

YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND (For Veronica and Robert)

“You’re my best friend?” I questioned.

“I know. Not the typical hard rock title song that a rock band would call a song. But I—I really wanted to write this song for Veronica. After……everything’s that’s happened with the sudden pregnancy, her parents utter disapproval of us having the baby before marriage. I really wanted her to have something happy for once in her life. Plus—she’s kept me grounded when the fame of rock and roll gets too much.”

“I think it’s a pretty song. I love the lyrics. I would probably listen to this song over and over again.”

“But it’s not really a song that a rock band would do. God I can already hear Roger’s complaints about this song. Especially with the line ‘I’m happy at home’. Sounds corny doesn’t it?”

“To some yeah, but I think it’s sweet. I mean I don’t know Veronica but the way you talk about her and your son it’s—it’s sweet Deacy. I think you should show this to Freddie and he’d back you up 100 percent.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so, right Toto?” Toto let out a couple of barks as he looked up at Deacy wagging his tail happily. He smiled and ruffled both my head as well as Toto’s as he said.

“Thanks you two. At least I know two fans of this song already.” I smiled but it soon dropped as I saw what was coming up the trail of the house.

Riding up on the bicycle I had left behind was Paul Prenter and right behind him was the sheriff’s car.

“Oh no.” Deacy turned to see just what was going on and he muttered.

“Oh great now what did Roger do?”

“It’s not for Roger, it’s for Toto. He actually went through with it oh my god he went through it!” I panicked as I grabbed Toto.

“Hey, hey, hey poppet calm down.” Deacy assured me as he cupped my face in his hands. “Whatever happened we’ll fix it okay?”

“Will you?”

“We’ll do our best.” John assured me with a kiss to the center of my forehead as his thumbs stroked my cheeks. Paul hopped off of my bike and the sheriff parked his car before stepping out.

“Right there officer. There’s the dog that bit me!” Paul proclaimed as he pointed at me. Roger who soon came up to see what was going on stood right by my side as he said.

“Prenter how dare you call this sweet little girl an animal!”

“No Roger I meant the beast she’s holding!”

“Alright Mr. Prenter let me handle this.” Sheriff Hooper soon said as he came up to us.

“Officer whatever that man has told you it’s utterly false.” Roger demanded.

“Step aside son, the both of you. I just wish to speak with Ms. Gale and get her side of the story.” Sheriff Hooper said firmly.

“You can’t interrogate a minor. Not without her guardians present.” Deacy spoke up.

“Very well son. (Y/n) is your aunt or uncle home?”

“They should be inside the house by now.”

“Alright, let’s move this discussion inside.” Sheriff Hooper walked towards the house while Paul glared down at Toto and I but Roger and Deacy stood protectively in front of me.

“You got something smart to say, you say it to me first Prenter.” Roger sneered. Paul didn’t speak a word as he slunked away behind Sheriff Hooper.

Inside my aunt, uncle, Paul, Sheriff Hooper, and myself and Toto were in the living room. Sheriff Hooper told the band to stay out of the affair since it wasn’t any of their business.

“That dog is a menace to this household. I’ll forever feel unsafe until we take our leave unless that thing is taken away and destroyed!” Paul demanded.

“Destroyed? Toto! You can’t do that. Auntie Em, uncle Henry you wouldn’t allow that to happen will you?” I pleaded to both my aunt and racing up to my uncle as I held Toto in my arms.

“Of course we won’t sweetheart, will we Em?” Uncle Henry assured me.

“Oh please Aunt Em,” I raced back over to her chair and pleaded, “Toto didn’t know he was doing anything wrong. He was protecting me. I’m the one who should be punished cause I didn’t catch him in time. You can send me to bed without supper and have me do twice as many chores for the next week.”

“If you don’t allow Sheriff Hooper here to take that dog, I’ll threaten to have this whole studio be taken away from you! There’s a law that protects people against dogs that bite!” Paul threatened.

“How about if she keeps him tied up? He’s really gentle, around gentle people that is.” Aunt Em said.

“Well that’s for the Sheriff to decide.” We all turned to Sheriff Hooper who took a drag of his cigarette. He exhaled a large puff of smoke and cleared his throat.

“Unfortunately with the evidence of a pretty severe bite I cannot let it slide. I’m afraid by law I will have to take the dog and have him be put to sleep.” He said grimly.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no they can’t do this! It was just one bite and it was in self-defense! Toto was just trying to protect me since Paul tried to hit me.

“Well we—we can’t go against the law (Y/n), I’m afraid poor Toto has to go.” Aunt Em said sadly.

“Now you’re seeing reason.” Paul said as he stood up. Sheriff Hooper then took out combined leash and muzzle.

“I’ll have to put this on him so that he won’t attack anyone while I put him in my car.”

“No! No! I won’t let you! BACK OFF! YOU BOTH GO AWAY or….OR I’LL BITE YOU MYSELF!!!” I screamed out.

“(Y/n)!” Aunt Em scolded me.

“Paul Prenter you’re a wicked old witch! Please Aunt Em don’t let him take Toto!” I then felt Paul trying to reach over me trying to grab Toto. I struggled as I pleaded, “DON’T LET HIM TAKE HIM!!”

“Take him Henry!” Aunt Em said gravely.

I watched helplessly as Uncle Henry took Toto out of my arms and held him while Sheriff Hooper put the muzzled lead on him. Toto whimpered and groaned as he swayed his head side to side due to the muzzle. My uncle then handed Toto over to the Sheriff and he tipped his hat and said.

“I’m sorry. Good afternoon Gales.” With that Toto was gone. Tears poured down my face as I quickly raced out of the living room and slammed my door shut.

I raced over to my bed and wept hysterically into my pillows. How could they do this? Grown ups ruin everything! Why did they have to take the one thing that reminded me of my parents.

I’ve forgotten what they look like, how they acted towards me, and all the memories I had with them cause I was too young to remember them. The only thing I did remember was when they gave my Toto as a birthday present.

“(Y/n)?” I heard Freddie’s soft voice call out to me from my window.

“Please……I don’t wanna see anybody.” I whimpered.

“We’re so sorry (Y/n). If we could intervene we would but—” Brian said. It was then we all heard Paul’s horrid voice call out.

“Freddie! Boys! We’re going to our next recording location. Pack up your things and let’s get going now!”

“Hold on we weren’t supposed to leave till three days from now!” Roger exclaimed.

“Plans change. Let’s leave. Pack up and get into the cars.” Great, as if things couldn’t get any worse I was now losing my new friends. The only ones who really understood the situation I was in and stood at my side.

“Well—I guess this is an early goodbye dear.” I felt Fred’s hand gently stroke head. I curled up into a ball refusing to even give the guys a final goodbye.

I heard a solemn sigh from the guys and soon all was quiet except for my sniffles and crying.

*3rd Person POV*

The boys packed up their stuff and packed them back into the cars. Meanwhile Paul had given his last statement for the Sheriff against his dog bite. Roger turned and glared at Prenter and growled.

“You know Toto should’ve bitten him in the mouth, that would’ve shut him up.”

“Rog. Look I hate this as much as you do but the law is the law.” Brian said.

“Well the law is bollocks!”

“Darling I agree but Brian does have a point. A dog bite is serious. I mean if someone else’s cat came and attacked one of my darlings I’d damn well sue the owner’s for neglect. But Toto is a sweet dog, at least between the four of us.”

“I just feel bad about (Y/n). Toto was the last thing she had of her parents. With him being—you know….it’s like she’ll lose everything about them.” Roger spoke solemnly.

“She’ll be alright.” John said as he soon walked across the three of them and placed his bass guitar into the back of the car.

“And how do you know that?” questioned Brian.

“I just know.” Freddie raised a brow and could tell his little Deacy had done something very naughty.

“Alright boys. On we go to Ridge farm. There we’ll finish this album and deliver it to EMI.” Paul said as he got into the front seat of one of the cars.

Then each of the boys piled into the cars they came in and soon they as well as the Sheriff drove off. When all was clear, peaking out from the grass was a now unmuzzled Toto.

Earlier while the Sheriff was with Paul, Deacy snuck up to the cruiser and unlocked the door and had freed Toto. He removed the muzzle from him and told him to go hide and not to come out till everyone was gone. Loving John as much as he loved (Y/n), Toto obeyed and now he was free to run right back to his master. He let out a few barks before coming through her window and standing right at her side.

*My POV*

I heard a familiar bark coming from my window but I thought I was just imagining things. That was until I felt a weight beside me and a lick at my fingers. I looked up and gasped. Toto was back!

“Oh Toto darling! Oh you came back! You came back!” I hugged and stroked through his fur, leaning my head against his. But then reality hit me. I held him close to my chest as I said, “Sheriff Hooper could come back for you if he finds you gone. We’ve got to get away. We’ve got to run away!”

I quickly grabbed my suitcase and packed the first things that I touched. My clothes, a picture of me and Aunt Em, a flashlight, and a shawl to keep warm.

Once I was packed up, Toto and I snuck out the window and we raced out of the farm and walked down the muddy road trail.

It felt like hours since we started walking. The once clear skies now grew dark and grey and the sun was long buried underneath the dark clouds. Toto walked right at my side when we came across an abandoned car along the side of the road.

It looked freshly new but why would anyone want to abandon a car like this. It looked in good shape and looked like it could still run.

“Hmm? Now why would someone want to abandon a car like this?” it’s nice black coat gleamed even through the cloudy weather.

That’s when a man around my uncle Henry’s age, maybe even slightly younger came walking back with a tank of gas in his hands.

“Ohh well. And here I thought I was going to be stranded all on my own.” He wore a nice black suit, had short dark brown hair, and green eyes. He looked like a nice man with a good head on his shoulders.

“We didn’t mean to impose sir. We were just walking along the trail here.”

“Pretty young to be traveling alone aren’t you miss? I mean it’s none of my business, I just seem concerned for your safety.” He said as he came up to the car and set the gas tank down.

“I can look after myself.” I sassed.

“Oh I don’t doubt that. I’ve got a daughter around your age who acts just like you. God that child will give me an ulcer one of these days, but I love her just the same. Sorry, Jim Beach. Although one of my clients insist that I’d be called Miami.”

“Wait—would that client be named Freddie Mercury by any chance?”

“Indeed. You know of him?”

“He and the rest of Queen were staying at our farm for a while completing their album.”

“Ahhh so you must be one of the Gale’s we were told about who owned the farm studio.”

“Yes. I’m (Y/n) Gale.” I extended my hand and he took it as we shook hands.

“As I said earlier, Jim Beach. I’m the band’s lawyer. I only came by to check and see how the lads were doing. And to see if they hadn’t killed each other yet.” He muttered the last part to himself.

“They’re doing good. Well last I saw them. They left the farm earlier this afternoon.”

“Already? But we had them scheduled to stay at your family’s farm house for three more days.”

“That’s—a long story.” I said as I looked down at Toto.

“Hmm. Let me guess, Paul’s idea?”

“How’d you guess?”

“I’ve had my suspicions of Paul Prenter. He’s never really had Queen’s, especially Freddie’s, best interest at heart. But unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not their manager. John Reid is.”

“Well—if I may say Mr. Beach I hope eventually you do end up managing them. You seem to really care about Queen.”

“They’re—a unique bunch. Chaotic and insane. You almost want to pull your hair out at times but……they know what they want and they work together for being 4 completely different people.” I nodded.

“Mr. Beach. Would it be alright with you if Toto and I came along with you to tour with Queen?”

“Umm……I don’t know. What would your parents think?” I looked down sadly.

“They—they died when I was 4 years old. The grownups that own the farm are my aunt and uncle.”

“Oh I’m—I’m sorry.” I shook my head telling him it was fine. “But if I may ask—why do you want to come along with me?”

“My aunt Em and Uncle Henry don’t really understand me anymore. They agreed to have Toto be taken away and be put to sleep all because Paul says he bit him. Ever since the guys came to the farm I’ve had more fun than I’ve had in years. Plus I’ve never been anywhere outside my farm or the nearby market. I want to see the world, go where Queen goes.”

Hearing the stories from the boys about all the places they’ve gone on tour from Japan, to America, all over Europe, and even Australia (even though they were booed off the stage) it’s still amazing to think they could freely travel around the world.

And I want to have that experience. Travel the world, see new places, meet new people, and be with the people that really love and understand me.

“Hmm…..are you positive that’s what you want?” I nodded. “I mean, if it were up to the guys I’m sure they’d probably let you come but I…..oh nothing. You probably wouldn’t want to hear about it from an old man like me.”

“Hear what?”

“Well. I know that around these parts everyone knows everyone.”

“That’s right. Even though the closest house to our farm is miles away, everyone’s friendly to one another when we see each other.”

“Well. On my way back from the gas station, the clerk there had gotten a call from a frantic aunt who was calling about her niece running away.” I gasped.

“Me?”

“Well I didn’t hear a name but the clerk was very concerned for the frantic aunt. I think I even heard him asking her if she was okay. She might’ve sounded sick.”

“Sick?”

“Again I didn’t pay much attention but he did sound worry. But if that is true I really hope she’ll be okay.” What have I done? Could my running away really have made Aunt Em sick?

“Come on Toto we’ve got to go home right away!”

“But wait I thought you wanted to come along with me and the boys?”

“Oh no, no, no I’ve got to get home as soon as possible. Come on Toto!” we raced back up the trail and I exclaimed, “Goodbye Mr. Beach and thank you!”

*Jim Beach’s POV*

Worked like a charm. I grabbed the tank and began filling my car up with gas when the wind suddenly started to pick up. Leaves were blowing high up into the sky and the clouds grew even darker.

I ceased my gas filling and quickly turned on the radio and heard along the weather station.

‘It would seem for the first time in over 30 years we’re seeing signs of a Tornado reaching from Monmouth to Bristol. Winds traveling at over 180mph. Please be advise to go into your storm cellars, keep away from the windows and stay out of the open fields.’

Oh god. I quickly got back in the car and started up. Oh that poor kid I hope she makes it home in time. And if the boys are still on the road, hope they can get to a shelter in time.

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awful-little-goose · 4 years

Text

Mighty Hegemol relationship headcanons

Me: sees a big boi of a knight, an absolute unit like a really chunky lad

Also me: You. You are coming with me.

Not enough love for the big guy, not enough consideration, needs to be fixed

- If you get to date this behemoth of a teddy bear, then welcome to “you are a baby and you need to be protected at all cost” land

- He isn’t overprotective, he knows that you are a capable individual...but he still is super careful of you

- The guy is a BIG boi, and he’ll use that to his advantage

- By that I mean picking you up and wrapping you in his arms 24/7

- Soft gentle hugs soft gentle hugs soft gentle hugs

- He is such a softie, all cuddles and kisses, and gently spoken compliments, and nice chill moments...

- So that’s a shock when you get to see him go full protection/combat mode

- I mean, surely you had already seen him train with the other knights before, but he always seemed to hold back a lot

- So if you get to ever see this behemoth get mad (which is basically impossible) OH BOI HERE COMES THE “I WILL DESTROY YOUR ASS SO HARD YOUR GREAT GRAND PARENTS ARE GONNA FEEL IT” GOD

- If he gets this level of mad, it will be because you were harmed, or that someone close to him was harmed...physically or not

- But he would never ever be this mad at you

- Or mad at you at all

- Heck, you could stab him in his sleep and he would probably thank you

- He just can’t, that’s it, big no no

- (Honestly, if you ever happen to see him go full destruction, he would be very ashamed afterwards and worry that you might be scared of him. Please hug this poor boi)

- 𝓣𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓭~~~

- Give him all the hugs, all of them

- If you ever visit him at his job, the man will melt. Might be a bit hard for him to stay focus though, you’re just so irresistible...no you are not allowed to argue with that

- You will also be instantly friendshiped by all of the other knights (especially Ogrim and Isma, who will absolutely thrilled to see their old friend in a relationship)

- The white lady will also be delighted to see the giant chevalier so happy, and she will sometimes find an excuse or another to make you stay at the palace...not that you complain no no, plus it’s not like you could disobey the Queen

- If you know how to fight, Hegemol might accept to fence with you once in a while, but that might be a bit unfair...for him, because he just will be too distracted. Might end up kissing you instead of fighting you OOPS

- If you don’t, he will teach you at least the basis so you can defend yourself if needed...he is a very patient teacher, so don’t worry

- Will slide in a HECK TON of snarky and sarcastic comments under his breath. He has a lot of humor after all. He would muster them just loud enough for you to hear them, just to hear you laugh or at least snicker

- If he comes back from a battle or just a hard day, Hegemol will simply swoop you in his arms and cuddle you. Good night, it’s sleep time now

- If you were the one to have gone through a bad day, he will try to comfort you the best he can. Just tell him what you need, and your wishes will be reality

- In conclusion, just a lovable teddy bear who wants you to be happy

#hollow knight #hollow knight five great knights #five great knights #hegemol the mighty #hegemol headcanons #hollow knight hc #hollow knight headcanons #if you hadn’t noticed yet I am weak for big and huggable characters #dont @ me #mighty hegemol #mighty hegemol headcanons

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arcadequeerz · 4 years

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WS AU Henry, Human/prestudio WS Sammy, N WS AU Linda!

>Picrew<

-Lil Facts!-

Henry bi transman! his pronouns r he/him!

Sammy prestudio is in the closet, but they’re queer! Gender? Sexuality? They’re queer. Their pronouns r He/They/She Sammy is also Autistic!

Linda is Queer amab nonbinary!!! Her pronouns r she/her or they/them. Her n Henry get married a bit after his quite from the studio.

uUUH post studio after Henry n Sammy escape- they are together, n eventually Sammy, Henry n Linda r all together n In Love polyam rights!!!!!!!! Sammy gets: a lovely Husband and darling spouse who love them very much. She also feels safe enough, n trusts the two them enough to come out to them!!! They love her v mch.

-Prestudio Sam doens’t actually have the tail or ears its just relevant to the au, n also- is cute. d:>c They usually keep her hair up in a ponytail, n Linda does as well. Sammy’s 6′4, Henry’s 5′4 and Linda’s 5′10

>uuuuh rly shitty basic summary of the au<

(me n my friend Kit @apxlllo(who works on the au with me, and has written so mch Lovely stuff for the au) do plan to write up a proper post/more detailed summary on the au soon hopefully!, this is just a v basic barebones summary of the au I wrote up- A looot of stuff has been left out, this is just a gist of things! We also hav a doc for au stuff tht I hope to eventually try n get organized at Some point tht I’ll Post whenever its done)

To Sum things up in Short: Sammy after being killed by Bendy after having tried sacrificing Henry, comes back, crawling out of the ink puddles only to get captured by Alice/Susie. Their dragged back to her lair and once there she decides to make use of him, and starts to rip him open, pull his insides out and pull him apart to turn him into another of her monsters- She removes his insides, and starts to replace them with Butchered Boris guts, and she starts to notice how his body is reacting to it- absorbing the ink and she finds that Very interesting. When she’s finished with this- done Torturing him basically, prodding his insides and pulling them apart, she sews him back up before injecting some of her own ink into him, Which links the two of them which in turn means she can Control/Influence them in a sense. After this is done to him- He ends up transforming into a big Inky weremonster(Who I call Were-Sammy) for the first time, the process is..Extremely painful, and she watches it happen, smiling the entire time.

Oh he’s simply PERFECT, She can definitely use him to her advantage..he’d make a perfect monster for her. Initially though, His form is quite unstable, which causes him to erratically turn back and forth(which is very painful mind you-) so while she’s fine tuning him, working on her newest monster, Henry continues to be her lil errand boy.

Until, Sammy is finally acting like she wants.

She can force him to turn into his wereself whenever she wishes him to, and his first order is to kill that Animator running around HER studio- She sends him after Henry, fully expecting him to come back covered in his blood, or at least carrying his Corpse, but instead, he comes back, tail between his legs, having not been able to kill Henry(there’s more to this in the au but!), She’s quite mad at him for this. Forces him to turn back to himself, far faster then Normal, leaving him a melted mess on the floor as she shouts at him about how she wants Results- and if she doesn’t get them she might just have to pull him open again- he begs her not to, he can kill them- He swears, She just says she wants results, she wants him dead, and she wants it Now- Before he can react. She’s forcing him to turn again, And sets her monster off back on their goal to kill Henry.

She keeps sending him after Henry- But he keeps coming back empty handed every time which just enrages her more with each time, Making her lash out at him, He’ll turn back and she’ll immediately force him to turn again, and when their too weak for that, she lets him have a Little rest, which just consists of him locked in a single room, chained to a wall so he can’t escape, before she decides he’s rested enough, and walks into the room to drag him out to force him to turn again. In the beginning, Every time she’d open the door, he’d scream, beg her not to, struggle against her, kick and scream but after a while he just, Stopped trying. There was no reason to delay the inevitable. there was no stopping it. So he gave up Fighting it, or trying.

Eventually, At some point while Hunting Henry she turns back, and Henry finds them. He’s immediately concerned, He wants to help them, tries to approach him but he just screams at him to get the fuck away from him- to just leave him, to get Away from them- Because his wereself..Doesn’t really LIKE Henry all that much- because he’s the reason their ‘Angel’ is so cruel and awful to them- He manages to convince Henry to leave him, fighting back his wereself to keep himself from changing, which lets Henry get away as he finally can’t hold it back anymore. Henry runs away, as he hears Sammy’s screaming, the sound of bone breaking, and at that moment he realizes the new Monster Alice made is Sammy- He decides then he needs to save him, to get him away from Alice.

After that Henry has two goals, One: Save Sammy, and Two: Escape the studio with him. At some point Henry is able to get Sammy away from Alice- n then the two are working together/sticking together to get out of the studio, While dealing with the hassle of Sammy just, randomly turning into his wereself, and the problems with himself being a big Inky weremonster. Also in the process of this...The two get close, end up falling for each other, In the beginning of Sammy realizing he’s falling for Henry, he tries Desperately to convince himself he hasn’t, he doesn’t love him, and tries to lie to himself that he Doesn’t, There’s no happy endings here, he shouldn’t- but he can’t lie to himself, for the first time in so long, he has Hope, He feels hope because Henry assures him they’ll get out of here, that they’ll escape- Together- and truly, for the first time it feels so possible, Henry is so caring to him- he’s so kind to him- He can’t lie to himself that he hasn’t fallen for Henry, that he doesn’t Love him- even if he does try telling himself that in the beginning.

Henry feels the same, He loves Sammy so much and he’d do anything for him- he means the world to him, and he’s the reason he keeps fighting to get out, to get him out of there, to be free, as well as to see Linda again- but he fights for them both to get out of this inky hell, Together- he won’t leave without him.

The two become very close, become much more then just companions or friends, ending up together, and eventually they DO escape the studio: Together, and live with Linda at her and Henry’s home. After being there for a bit, Linda and Sammy grow close, end up falling in love, and all three of them are together and love one another very Much- Linda and Henry? Love their amazing inky wife so Much, and Sammy loves them too, he’s never felt so happy- and so Full of love as she does now with them- they mean the world to him and she is so thankful to have them in his life, and get to wake up every morning to them both.

BUT- YEAH! This is the gist of the au- i left out a lot of like specific Scenes in the au, like Before Sammy and Henry leave the studio- Susie/Alice is killed, that’s a big scene in the au- amongst stuff tht happens with Bendy once outside the studio- buuut YEAH- that’s the gist of the au HGDHHGSH Sorry if this is poorly written- or a mess, I do plan to work wqith kit to get a better post on the au up eventually, and plan on organizing the au doc to share soon! Eventually there will be drawings of the lads- Eventually, especially Inky Sammy- There are drawings of Were-Sam you can find on my blog though if you go looking. THOUGH- Here’s a description of Were-Sam,

Were-Sammy stands about 8, almost 9ft tall, His body is a dark black color that shifts between darker shades of black(this color shifting is quite slow usually, so it isn’t Too noticable), and is covered in melty, inky fur. The fur is soft, but Also melty n he has ink kiind of melting off of him. His hands are semi paw like with sharp claws and his feet are half melted paws. He has a long melty tail covered in melty black fur, the underside of the tails fur is longer/meltier. His ears are long, wide at the base and thinner towards the ends of them. He has long sharp canine like teeth. and his eyes are piecut, a glowy amberish red, and ink of the same color is constantly melting down from his eyes down his face. His inky fur is thicker/longer around his neck and down his back along his spine. Body wise? He’s muscular but also kiinda chubby. I’m not very good at describing body types so forgive me 😔.

n a lil bit on were-sammy specifically:

Were-Sammy is very affectionate to both Linda and Henry and love them both very much, he’s a big Lovable fool, jus a big Puby. Sometimes when Sammy turns, He’s just themselves, other times their far more wolf then herself. Were-sammy is very nice to them both- very lovable and very protective. He is...good sweet lad, and Linda and Henry lov their big Monster Husband so much. Were-sammy? Good boy. Also due to being a weremonster, Sammy does have his more monstery traits come out when he isn’t even in their wereform! Such as: Howling(both Linda and Henry find it great fun to howl to try and get Sammy to- They do not appreciate it), growling, whining, n at times acting Kiiind of like his wereself, one specific thing is: when Linda or Henry come home from being out- she gets SO HAPPY AND EXCITED TO SEE THEM- Immediately has to get up and rush over to the door to greet them and hug them- He’s very affectionate, and snuggly! He does have a ‘half’ form he will occasionally shift into, Which is pretty much him gaining his claws, sharper teeth and his ears n tail, as well as gettin Kinda fluffie(aka getting some of his fur, specifically going down his back- Soft), In his half form they tend to act more of their wereself at times- and are very excitable!!! jus...good puby..

#Were-Sammy AU #I am mch too nervous to put this in the fandom tag nbnfhngh bYUT HHH YEAH #This au means a l;ot to me. i hav sm fun babbling bout it with my friemd kit!!! he was n is a big help with workinb on the au with me! d:"D #he's the reason i asctuslly did more ewith thr au!!!! he's written tons oif lovely stuff for the au n he's made ws bendy #easily one of my fave au bendys(up there with ss bendy)#HHTHJRFHG D O LET ME KNow if u like the au............i weuld like to hear wht u giys think #MGHHGDG SHY BOUT sharing my au stuff HGBHFHGVG #ENJOY THO GMFMHDHG #I rly love ws au sammy- they mean sm to me now d:> i lov thm............#SORRY IF THIS POST IS. A MESS.

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juleswolverton-hyde · 4 years

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The Sword and Shield (BC x Reader)

Genre: Fluff, Idol AU, Quarantine fiction

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Warnings: Innuendos, nerdy Pokémon talk.

Summary: Every warrior needs a sword and shield to defend themselves against enemies. However, two nerds take up weapons in a vastly different fight.

Masterlist

Credits for the banner art go to Satzzz Art.

Life between the sheets does not always have to be characterized by Sensuality because there is more to be found among the pillows and blankets. It is amiable comfort, dozing off together to the sunrays streaming in through the light bedroom curtains or listening to music while sharing earbuds to kill the boredom of quarantine by means of occupying oneself with whatever is at hand. After all, it is yet unknown for how long the global population is forbidden to leave their homes safe for retrieving necessities at the supermarket or drugstore.

A blessing in disguise, however, is being able to spend the period of restriction with a bunch of lively lads which includes the lover of little more than a year. The moment it became known countries were hauling in their own residents a foolhardy decision was made to remain in South-Korea and leave the life in the place of origin behind for a while. The choice did not sit well with Chan at first, not too subtly asking to reconsider it though soon finding a secret delight in finally being able to wake up every day in the same bed.

No thousands of kilometres distance.

No time to be taken away by management and time zone differences.

The pandemic has at least given us this.

A taste of life as a real couple.

Just before IKEA closed as well, the lovable human kangaroo insisted on going there for the last shopping spree so personal taste could be added to the bedroom that would be shared. The well-meant idea was rejected at first, saying it was not needed and that the interior was fine as it was. However, once bleached locks have set their mind to something, it is barely possible to change the focus of determination and thus the private shared space has been decorated with a few candles alongside a new bookcase to house whichever books were already taken from home as well as a few pieces of art and a collection of postcards that have been pinned on a metal grate.

Our perfect little nest.

A haven of comfort for songs and nerdy thoughts.

‘Hey, babygirl.’ The mattress dips as the human koala joins the small kingdom in the sheets of sweatpants and loose tops that are somehow still deemed charming. Even the surface beneath the minimal layer of makeup is apparently preferred by the strong arm wrapping around the waist as platinum locks rest on the head and watch the screen held between hands. ‘What’re you playing?’

‘Pokémon Sword. It’s really good thus far and- Oh my god, it’s so cute!’ In an instance, the screen is lifted to show the six adorable balls clad in armor, a new creature which is called a Falinks. ‘Look at these little buddies!’

A wide smile breaks out on plush lips, wavy locks shaking in closed-eyed amusement before looking up again with the wonder of a new discovery. ‘So that’s why you’ve been kicking the air or screaming something is cute. I didn’t know you were a Pokémon fan?’

‘I have been since I was little, but it’s not something I tell others about.’ The true meaning of the grin no longer passes under the radar, igniting an ember of shame for harbouring a geeky side when it comes to the Japanese creatures. ‘Yes, I know, I am a mega nerd. Bite me.’

The jaw clenched in timidity relaxes when slender fingers tickle the sides as a big nose presses into the side of the neck to nuzzle it. The comment was not meant to provoke although the lowered voice suggests otherwise as it speaks against skin, teeth even cheekily nibbling. ‘Watch your words, Y/N, or I just might.’

However, the sensuous attitude fades as fast as it appeared as irises the colour of pure chocolate wander back to the device. ‘Can I see your Pokémon?’

Because the girl in the sheets is not the only trainer beneath the roof.

‘Sure.’ With the same nonchalance that denies the suggestiveness from a second ago, the index of the creatures which are currently being trained is opened. The current team consists of a Corviknight, Obstagoon, Thievul, Drapion, Boltund and Cinderace. ‘I’m currently training these though I mostly specialize in Dark Types.’

‘Why doesn’t that surprise me?’ To get more comfortable, Chan slouches further down the bed to rest more properly on a beloved narrow shoulder. Nevertheless, the all-knowing grin from before remains plastered onto plush lips. ‘I suppose you’re also interested in training Ghost and Psychic types as well?’

‘I’m an open book, aren’t I?’

‘Just a little bit.’ The teasing is made up for with a chaste peck on the nose followed by one on the forehead. Just the way it is preferred and done whenever apologizing for something or to simply gain a smile. Withal, now, judging by the twinkle in mischievous eyes, it is definitely to say sorry in advance for what is to come. ‘Can you guess what my type is?’

‘Me?’

The witty response evokes the bubbly boyish laughter that has been loved ever since the first time it was heard. ‘You’re not wrong.’

‘Okay, okay, let me think.’ The scanning for clues on the face results in nothing except a brighter devilish glimmer in a loving look. Henceforth, the answer will have to based on personality and all the little things that have been discovered since being in a relationship and now prematurely living together. ‘Electric? Although, no, wait. Fire. Something tells me you at least have a Growlith or had but it has transformed into Arcanine. Then again, judging by that splendid performance of the theme song in your VLive, I’d also wager you have a Pikachu. However, you’re very sporty so maybe you specialize in Fighting types?’

‘You’re on the right track. The answer is somewhere in there.’ Instead of one mocking eyebrow, two rise in a failed attempt to exaggerate coyness while looking cool. ‘Or is it?’

‘Very helpful, Chris.’ Sarcastically disregarding the useless remark and lopsided smirk, the former ramble is composed into a somewhat solid answer. Anywhere close to the truth is better than nothing. ‘You’re a Fire trainer who is also interested in Fighting types.’

‘Almost. I’m a Dragon trainer who always starts out as a Fire trainer. I am, however, also interested in Fighting types too. I do have an Arcanine and Pikachu is an exception to the rule because it’s Pikachu. Every trainer should have one.’

‘I have one too, but it doesn’t have a name since it’s a female and I only name my male Pokémon.’

Focus shifts back to the screen, Chan reading the names of the amiable creatures that form the company on the journey to becoming the best. It started as a fun idea and the names matched fairly well. ‘So I’ve noticed. Are you associating everyone in the industry with a Pokémon?’

But nothing ever runs smoothly.

‘I’m trying, but it’s bloody hard at times. I made Jackson a Pidove. Don’t laugh! I don’t know why I did it, but his name was the first to pop up when I caught it. Baekhyun is an Applin. Wait, he’s transformed already so now he’s a Flapple. Han is a Greedent because, let’s be honest, he’s a squirrel. Changbin, well, Bin is a Corviknight. I gave his full name to a Rufflet. Minho is a Sneasel, Felix a Thievul and I have yet to decide on the rest of the boys.’

‘Which one would be me?’ Judging by the suggestive tone of curious eyes and barely noticeable pout, there is the clear hope of a comparison with an awesome creature. The tightened grip on the hips betrays it too, blatantly so. Almost forcing the unknown comparison to one’s personal preference.

‘Without a doubt, you are Zacian, the giant warrior wolf with a sword in its mouth.’ A deep sigh cannot be helped at the thought of the game’s challenge which does absolutely not allow for failure. ‘The legendary Pokémon of the Galar region. Dammit, Channie! Why do you have to be so elusive and exclusive?’

‘Because I’m an amazing catch.’ The cheek is turned by slender fingers, compelling lips to join in a playful giggly kiss which is broken up by a smug remark. ‘And warriors are not so easily bound to a master. You told me even Beowulf reluctantly helped a king, only to settle his father’s debt.

‘Although,’ the train of thought is easily altered by hooking a digit under the silver necklace that was given as a birthday present, pulling the tease in yet holding off from melting into another kiss by backing away to continue the battle of wits and enjoy the small adorable whine of disagreement, ‘with the right trainer, I suppose I could make a deal.’

‘I plan on winning all gym badges and make myself worthy of the wolf.’

‘You will still have to win in that final fight. Until then, think you can take me on?’ Brows furrow in a suddenly hard-fought battle for concentrated control. Funnily contradicting oneself, the domestic koala shifts positions to hover over the coy soul who was able to tame the beast beneath the roof, faces inches apart and the Switch tucked in the small space between bodies.

Which becomes noticeably narrower when transforming Innocence into Sensuality by creating the image of what might be given after testing out the waters of victory and win in a Pokémon battle. ‘I have more than enough times in this bed.’

To make up for the victory and erase any negative unspoken feelings.

Though the soft growling suggests impatience, unwilling to be kept on a leash any longer. ‘Don’t change the subject. You’re fighting unfairly.’

‘Am I?’ The device is put aside on the bedside table, ankles hooking behind the waist to coax a hard shape into the warmth between the thighs as hands rest on broad shoulders. A much-appreciated action evidently, breath taken away by the friction between two concealed forms of wanting and nails digging into the skin beneath the comfy black printed fleece vest.

And the chest now making escape entirely impossible, hearts racing in harmony. ‘Yes. You’re distracting me.’

‘Says the person who’s distracting me from gaining those badges.’ Enough coherency lingers to remain cheeky. Bashful enough to lean in and utter a final double-sided statement of defiance. ‘I bet I can easily best you.’

But two can play that game, apparently.

‘I think you’re wrong, babygirl. Or do I need to remind you of how good I am?’

‘Grab your Switch and bring it on.’ The challenge is accepted with a scoff which clearly started having different expectations in regards to the order of events. Fortunately, a sweet quick peck cures most of the shallow grumpiness as Chris is dismissed from the sheets. ‘And give me all you’ve got.’

‘Oh, I will. I always do.’

As became apparent in the few battles between teams.

The wolfish actions that followed unspoken hard feelings unhappy with the outcomes of the fights.

And a broken headboard in the morning.

#Bangchan fanfiction #Bangchan #Bang Chan #Chan #Channie #Stray Kids #SKZ

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dictionarywrites · 6 years

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Know Your Jeffs: A Guide To Goldblum’s Characters

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I will be updating it as I watch more Goldblum movies, adding in the characters as I pick them up! Everything is below the cut so that I can just update as I take more stuff in.

The descriptions of movies and characters are very much not impartial, but they should give you an idea of what you’re in for if you want to look the film up. I’m only including stuff I’ve already seen, plus Raines, which I feel like I’m never gonna be able to get hold of, and am heartbroken about.

Movies are listed in CHRONOLOGICAL order, but if you CTRL+F, you can search for a particular character name, date, or movie/TV title. This is very much under construction. There are currently 40 Jeffs on the list.

1978 - Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers, dir. Philip Kaufman - IMDb

Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers is a film about a kind of alien who comes to Earth and steals people’s bodies - effectively, they make up their own pod-versions of them, and then turn the original to dust.

Jack Bellicec is a poet in New York City, who owns a bathhouse with his wife, Nancy. This film is a sci-fi horror, and Jack is earnest but antsy throughout - he’s a real cutie, and every much a good guy. He’s just the sweetest, and is generally in a state of complete and utter terror, whilst still trying to keep grounded and keep thinking forward.

1980 - The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow, dir. Henning Schellerup, IMDb

Okay, so, for a stupid TV movie from the 80s, this is actually really cute It loosely follows the plot of the short story, but generally with a happier ending and a lot more fun antics from Ichabod Crane, and it’s just great fun. A schoolteacher comes to the valley of Sleepy Hollow, and finds himself facing down the silly ghost stories continuously thrown forward by the locals.

Ichabod Crane is the cutest - he’s soft and sweet with the children, like he is in the short story, on top of being lanky and clumsy and a little stupid; he lacks a lot of his arrogance that he has in the short story, and instead he’s much less of a dick when he criticizes the ghost stories and stuff. He’s lovely, I adore him.

1980 - Tenspeed and Brownshoe, TV Series - IMDb

Tenspeed and Brownshoe is a delight - it’s a detective TV series with a very light-hearted tone, and it’s very comfortable to just settle back and watch casually.

Lionel Whitney is... a trip. A chartered accountant turned gumshoe, Lionel starts his own detective agency in L.A. after breaking up with his fiancée and meeting the charming (and duplicitous) E.L. Turner, a conman and scam artist. E.L. is his partner in the business, and the two combine strengths - Lionel with his idolisation of and knowledge of the 40s pulp fictional detective, Mark Savage, as well as his black belt in karate; E.L. with his thousands of accumulated skills, including being a master of disguise, a smooth-talker, and a winner at sleight of hand.

Lionel is a dote: he’s just the sweetest, and he really gives off Bertie Wooster vibes, but with an air of genuine competence Mr Wooster never had. He’s truly incredible, and all the episodes of Tenspeed and Brownshoe are up on YouTube, so it’s really worth watching!

1981 - Threshold, dir. Richard Pearce - IMDb

Okay, so Threshold... Big old snooze fest. Not a very engaging movie, not an especially good movie - I forgot a good deal of the movie after I finished watching it. It was uninspiring and a bit bland. The concept is basically that a pioneer in mechanical science re: bio-engineering comes up with a heart valve to replace a little girl’s heart - the pioneer being Jeff Goldblum’s character - and a doctor puts it in the little girl, but it’s a very unpopular decision, because it’s not organic. Obviously, in the 80s, that was a much bigger deal than it is now.

Aldo Gehring is just... Adorable. Too earnest, a little bit arrogant, and he’s just far too baby-faced for the age he’s textually said to be to be believable, but like... You know! It’s a dull movie either way, and Aldo isn’t a huge part of it.

1983 - The Big Chill, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

The Big Chill is a film about a group of college friends that meet up for the first time in like, a decade after one of their closest friends commits suicide. They all come for the funeral, and spend a few days together in the aftermath.

A lot of people seem to dislike Michael Gold, but like, he’s kind of one of the most tragic of the figures in the movie - a lot of their friends don’t remember him initially, and he really isn’t good at doing anything other than compartmentalising and shoving down his emotions. He’s brittle and a little sharp, and maybe a bit too honest for his own good, but I really love him, and I totally rec him if you can handle the subject matter, which is obviously very grim and very sad.

1984 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, dir. W.D. Richter - IMDb

Buckaroo Banzai is a guy who’s basically, like, any eight-year-old’s Mary Sue - he’s a cowboy, a neurosurgeon, an expert test pilot, a rockstar, etc... And they play it completely straight. Leading his band of hypercompetent pretty boys, The Hong-Kong Cavaliers, he saves the world, if not the universe, on the regular.

Doctor Sidney Zweibel, a.k.a. New Jersey, is a new addition to the team in The Adventures, and he’s a neurosurgeon who went to med school with Buckaroo. He’s a would-be cowboy, complete with boots, hat and chaps, and he’s just the cutest thing in the world, a sweet and pure boy. 10/10 Goldblums for Sid Zweibel.

1985 - Silverado, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

Mmm, Silverado is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and it has little to no plot. Even for a Western, I found it incredibly dry and disjointed, and I can’t in good fatih recommend it to anybody, even though John Cleese is inexplicably a sheriff midway through.

However. Slick (whose actual name is Calvin Stanhope) is really fucking hot, and so you should watch his scenes on YouTube, even if you don’t watch the movie (which you shouldn’t). Slick’s screentime tocks up to around 15-20 minutes, out of a movie that’s genuinely like, two and a half hours long.

Slick is like, a casino man with a knife in his boot; he wears furs; he’s terrible. He’s so great, I adore him.

1985 - Into The Night, dir. John Landis - IMDb

Into The Night is... a little hard to describe. It’s like, a crime thriller movie with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer, and with a cameo from David Bowie, as well as about 700 other Hollywood lads who Landis knew. I think the plot is... loose, and the film itself isn’t the greatest, but the main characters are pretty great.

Ed Okin is an astrophysicist dissatisfied with his job and his life in general, who abruptly becomes plagued by this inescapable insomnia, and subsequently becomes embroiled in this whole crime plot across from Pfeiffer. I really love Ed - because of the insomnia, he tends to underreact to most of the situations around him, and he’s very likable.

1985 - Transylvania 6-5000, dir. Ruby de Luca - IMDb

Is TR 6-5000 a good movie? No, absolutely not. But should you watch it? Oh, yes.

This is like, a comedy/absurdist horror/pastiche, lots... It’s lots of stuff. Basically, these two reporters who do a Weekly World News style thing go to Transylvania to report on Frankenstein, and also meet some Igors, a werewolf, a vampire, etc.

Jack Harrison is such a great character - he’s pretty much eternally looking after his hapless partner, Gil, but both of them are as ridiculous as the other, each of them stumbling into bizarre situations. Definitely don’t take the movie too seriously, but it really is a fun thing, and it’s certainly worth watching for the goofy trip it is. Jack is a real sweetheart, and he’s so lovable - Gil certainly thinks so. ;)

1986 - The Fly, dir. David Cronenburg - IMDb

So, fair warning, I nearly vomited like, several times watching The Fly, and was on the verge of just turning it off a few times. It’s nearly forty years old, but the body horror of the effects really stands up, and it’s very gory toward the end. Despite its well-earned rep as such a gory film, though, The Fly is actually a heartbreaking tragedy, so definitely don’t expect it to be lacking in the feels department if you can stomach it.

Seth Brundle (yeah, poor guy, what a name) is a really impressive engineer and scientist, and he invents a machine that should enable him to teleport objects from one electronic pod to another. Unfortunately, when teleporting himself, he becomes melded with an intruder to the pod - a fly - and begins a horrifying transition into something other than human.

Seth at the start is... He’s a genius, but he’s naive, arrogant, and a little too trusting in how earnest he is. As time goes on, and he begins the change into Brundlefly, he becomes much more erratic, and his personality changes a lot. I totally rec Seth, honestly.

1988 - Vibes, dir. Ken Kwapis - IMDB

Vibes is a fucking trip. It’s a movie about two psychics - Jeff Goldblum’s character, Nick Deezy, who can tell the history of an object by touching it, and Cyndi Lauper’s character, Sylvia Pickel, who is a medium. Yes, you read that right. Cyndi Lauper. It’s incredible.

Vibes is actually a much better movie than I expected - it’s a genuinely funny comedy, it’s ridiculous and cartoonish and stupid, but it’s fun. Cyndi Lauper and Goldblum have a tango scene at one point, and the height differential is so extreme that she’s literally wrapped around his waist and he’s just carrying her around.

Nick Deezy himself is a really interesting character - he’s kinda used to being used and pushed around because of his psychic powers, but he’s a guy with such a lot of courage and genuine empathy for others, and I just think he’s so sweet.

1988 - Earth Girls Are Easy, dir. Julien Temple - IMDb

So... Earth Girls Are Easy is in the same vein as Vibes for me - it’s a fun romp, and so long as you don’t take it too seriously, it’s a really enjoyable movie. It’s about these three furry aliens that drop down to Earth, and are trying to pick up the language and have a good time. It’s good banter, and it’s also a musical, because-- It was 1988, okay?

Mac is like, probably one of the most genuinely sweet characters out of the ones on this list - he’s very caring, and he’s doing his best to do good whilst not really being able to navigate the world around him very easily. He’s wonderful, and I can’t rec Earth Girls enough.

He’s also a big, furry, blue guy in his underwear for the first part of the movie, if that helps.

1989 - The Tall Guy, dir. Mel Smith - IMDb

So, disclaimer. This film is written by Richard Curtis, so like... It’s snappy, it’s clever, but it’s also a little insufferable and kinda misogynistic the whole way through, with the classic Curtis obsession with infidelity, where characters cheat on one another whether it makes sense or not.

That aside, I really enjoyed the first two acts of this movie, and while the third one falls very flat, I still think it’s worth watching. Goldblum’s character, Dexter King, plays the straight man in Rowan Atkinson’s comedy sketch act, but goes on to have a romantic relationship with Emma Thompson, and those links are just... So cute.

I think Dexter is kind of a dick, but by no means does that make him unlikable, and I’d still rec The Tall Guy! I’m not sure how long Goldblum was in the UK for - there’s a nude sex scene with Goldblum and Thompson, and I was really thrown, because he’s super pale in this film, compared to similar nude scenes in like, The Fly. So there’s your fun tidbit for the day lmao.

1990 - Mister Frost, dir. Philippe Setbon - IMDb

This film is... Odd. As a thriller, it’s fine - you know, it’s average. It isn’t so terrible, but it’s not great either. But as like, a film, there are aspects where it’s just inexplicably terrible - some of the lines are dubbed over, for some reason, and the sound quality is so off in random moments; there are odd moments where the camera is just too close to the actors’ faces, even for a close-up; technically, this film just has some bizarre and glaring... errors.

The plot is interesting, though, and I did enjoy it for that aspect - Mister Frost is a serial killer institutionalized in an attempt to cure him of his murderous tendencies, and he then professes to be Lucifer himself.

Mister Frost is a funny guy. He’s snide, clever, self-obsessed and sharp - I really liked him, and I totally think he’s worth a watch.

1992 - Fathers & Sons, dir. Paul Mones - IMDb

[icon to be added if I can ever get a decent fucking picture or screencap or something of this film]

This film was bad. I didn’t care for it. Fathers & Sons is, however, like... Very human, I guess. Max, Goldblum’s character, runs a bookstore on the coast and is having trouble communicating with his son, Ed; there’s a lot of tension between them based off the death of Ed’s mother and Max’s own character flaws, as well as Max’s temper. There’s fucking voiceover in the film, which is used clumsily and just comes across as terrible, but there aren’t any glaring technical issues throughout like there are with Mister Frost.

Max himself is not, in my opinion, a very likable character? He’s certainly relatively sympathetic, and you can see where he’s coming from, but he’s got a terrible temper and the tension with Ed is very much his own doing in a lot of respects - despite my personal dislikes, however, Goldblum is as ever a marvel, and you really do feel that Max is a whole, complete person.

1992 - Shooting Elizabeth, dr. Baz Taylor - IMDb

This film was a fucking trip and a half. The premise is that this guy, Howard, really hates his wife, and decides he hates her so much that he’s gonna kill her, but when she goes missing, he is arrested for her murder even though he never got around to it. It’s a generically confused movie which neither really meets its labelled genres of comedy or thriller, but wouldn’t do well under drama or romance either. It’s odd.

Howard Pigeon, as a character, is deeply unstable. A lot of the moments in the movie that I think are meant to be comedic just end up being tragic, because you can see how upset he is, how freaked out he is, and how disconnected from reality and rational thought he is. He’s also just... A really fucking bad person, but to be honest, so is his wife, so like... Hey. It is what it is, I guess.

1992 - Deep Cover, dir. Bill Duke - IMDb

Deep Cover is fucking incredible. It’s easily one of my favourite movies now, and I just die over it, to be honest. Playing across from Laurence Fishburne (then billed as Larry), David Jason (Elias in the script, and I don’t know why they changed it, maybe to make his name less blatantly Jewish, but I assume none of them had ever heard of Only Fools and Horses) is a low-down cocaine mogul trying to break out on his own from the local boss.

He’s a fascinating character, and I just adore him - the film itself is a very gritty noir that really considers lines of racial intersection and prejudice within both the police force and the drug trade, and David himself is constantly suffering from antisemitism and a lot of very targeted homophobic remarks, and it’s heavily implied he wants to fuck John, Laurence Fishburne’s character. David is erratic, sharp, and extremely brittle with a very short temper: he and John kinda balance each other out, because John’s a much cooler, calmer guy, and I just love their dynamic.

David’s my son. I love him. I will cry over him forever.

1993 - Jurassic Park, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDB ↪1997 - Jurassic Park: The Lost World, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDb ↪2018 - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, dir. J.A. Bayona - IMDb

So, like, I’m sure you know the basic concept of Jurassic Park. A crazed Walt Disney parody in white linen with seemingly unlimited money decides to clone a bunch of fucking dinosaurs and put them into a theme park, and it goes horribly wrong. These films are genuinely great sci-fi, raising some wonderful philosophical questions about ownership, ethics, and our place in the universe, and the voice of that philosophy usually belongs to Doctor Ian Malcolm, a mathematician who specialises in chaos theory.

Ian Malcolm... I just adore him, I really do. You know, I’ve read the book of course, as well as the seen all the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies, and Ian is just a delight - he’s bright, he’s sarcastic, but he’s genuinely full of feeling and so eager to talk to other people, to connect with them, etc. I just find him fascinating, and even if sci-fi isn’t your thing, you’ll love Jurassic Park for him alone.

He reprises his role in the latest Jurassic World movie - I can’t, in all good conscience, really recommend the Jurassic World movies, but... He is a silver fox.

1995 - Hideaway, dir. Brett Leonard - IMDb

Hideaway is a supernatural thriller based around the concept of demonic possession, and an antiques dealer - Hatch Harrison - finds he has visions of a local serial killer after being revived from being dead for several minutes. Using those visions to thwart the killer, he and his family realise the cause is supernatural.

Hatch is a really cool dude, and I like him a lot - he’s got the strongest dad energies, and he’s so, so caring. Even grieving and tense, like, he’s just doing his best, and he’s such a good guy, I really adore him.

1995 - Nine Months, dir. Chris Columbus - IMDb

Nine Months is a terrible movie thick with a deeply unsettling ideology re: the whole “everybody really wants kids and must have them”, and I honestly despised it throughout. It’s just a terrible movie, and Columbus always ranges from “this guy is a vaguely bad director” to “this guy is a fucking twat”, and there is nothing vague about the badness of this movie.

That aside, however, Goldblum’s character is kind of a delight. Sean Fletcher is a painter (of paintings, not houses) and like... Layabout? He’s a little erratic, he changes his mind about stuff constantly, but he’s a really sound guy, and he cares a lot about Hugh Grant’s character, who is the protagonist. He’s really fun in a movie that’s just garbage the way through.

1995 - Powder, dir. Victor Salva - IMDb

Powder is a very sad movie, to be honest. It’s about this lad who’s like, an albino with telekinetic powers, and when his parents die, he ends up having to go into the public school system, where he’s bullied an awful lot. It’s extremely brutal about a lot of the bullying stuff, and it does come across very accurately; just as a general warning, there’s... an uncomfortable tone to it, although nothing directly or graphically terrible, especially re: sexuality, which I noticed even before looked Salva up and realised he was that paedophile that did Jeepers Creepers. It’s just something to be aware of.

Jeff’s character is... a delight, however. Donald Ripley is a high school teacher who’s genuinely really passionate about teaching, has no small amount of sympathy for all of his students, and is just-- He’s really sweet, and I love him. Despite the uncomfortable gaze of the film, he retains a paternal air, and I love it.

1996 - Independence Day, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb ↪2016 - Independence Day: Resurgence, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb

Independence Day, honestly, I expected to be like, bad sci-fi dreck, and it genuinely isn’t. While I think the premise is inherently stupid (the whole evil aliens invade thing), it’s actually executed so well, and I just love it as a flick - Judaism saves the day in many aspects, and it’s so nice to have that positive thing mixed up in it.

David Levinson is such a sweet guy - he’s arrogant and a little bit of an ass, but like, he’s so caring: he constantly worries about his dad, he’s so loyal to his ex-wife without being creepy or weird about it after like, three years; he fucking recycles and uses his bike to get around the city... Like, he’s an underachiever initially, but he’s a genuinely nice guy despite his abrasive personality at times, you know?

I just love him.

And he reprises the role in the new movie, which isn’t as good as the first one, but is still worth a watch for Julius Levinson’s antics, picking up grandchildren as he drives across America.

1998 - Holy Man, dir. Stephen Herek - IMDb

My full review of Holy Man is here.

Holy Man is not a good film. It’s about an exec who runs a TV shopping channel, but is like, really shit at it, and he ends up getting G., a homeless guru played by Eddie Murphy, to sell stuff for him. Nonsensical and odd although the film is, it’s actually surprisingly sweet and wholesome, and I really enjoyed a lot of the humour.

Ricky is a pretty bad guy at the beginning, but he’s slick and fun and good-humoured - he’s mostly just selfish more than outright evil, and he actually ends up becoming a lot less selfish toward the end of the film. He’s a sweetheart, in some respects.

2001 - Cats & Dogs, dir. Lawrence Guterman - IMDb

God, this movie is so bad, and so much more racist than I remembered? There’s this whole racist sequence with some ninja cats, complete with the chopsticks-style music playing in the background, and that’s... Awful.

But Charles Brody is actually really funny, to be honest. Goldblum somehow makes him feel really human - earnest and work-obsessed, but still desperate to be a good father despite not being naturally inclined, and that’s... Honestly, I hate it when he does this. He takes the stupidest character in the stupidest movie and makes them feel like a real person, and I hate him for it.

Brody is cute.

2002 - Igby Goes Down, dir. Burr Steers - IMDb

Igby Goes Down is... Hm. What best to call it? Insipid teenage horseshit. The whole film is just fucking terrible, honestly - it centres around the Culkin that isn’t Kevin in Home Alone, and he’s some unbearable little New York teenager who thinks the world revolves around him and is upset at the prospect that perhaps he should go to school and/or get a job.

Anyway, Goldblum is at his least moral and most hot, he is revolting, and he is so sexy. There’s a weird thing where he’s the family friend of a family that’s pretty anti-semitic, but they play it straight, as if Jeff Goldblum’s face isn’t one of the most Jewish faces anybody’s ever seen, but that aside, he’s really sexy. Sociopathic, abruptly violent, and infrequently undressed, but it’s not worth watching the rest of the film for, to be honest.

2003 - Spinning Boris, dir. Roger Spottiswoode - IMDb

Spinning Boris. What a film.

Here, listen, we just watched this, me and @annethecatdetective, and it was absolutely nothing that I expected,or could expect. It’s a heavily fictionalised “based on a true story” film about three Rpublicans who went to work on the Boris Yeltsin campaign in ‘96. We, apparently, are once again meant to believe Jeff Goldblum as a goyische Republican, which--

I mean, what can I tell you? He does it so well. George Gorton’s fictionalised counterpart is charismatic, charming and funny, but so is most of the movie - the Republican trio are all morons, but that actually lends to their likability in the end, and Gorton is the most lovable of the three, taking the foreground. This movie was like, actually really good.

2004 - The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I hated this film, and had to fast-forward a lot of it. I’m not a fan of Anderson at all, much as Goldblum is always singing his praises - I just don’t get it, I guess. Anderson is a master of visual spectacle, but he’s one of the worst writers out there, and pithy lines don’t make up for the complete lack of character that any of his films have.

Alistair Hennessy is no exception. He’s pithy, vaguely (comedically?) sociopathic, and is kinda DTF... And that’s about it. Even Goldblum can’t really add that much depth to this guy, because there’s no depth in other characters for him to play off.

2006 - Man of the Year, dir. Barry Levinson - IMDb

Mmm, so, Man of the Year surprised me.

It’s definitely quite weak, when it comes to plot and writing - the jokes aren’t at their strongest; it can’t really decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a political thriller; some of the jokes and commentary are very off-colour and have not aged well; it seeks to set out a political moral without making any particular targets. Nonetheless, I rather enjoyed it - it doesn’t pretend to be a higher art than it is, and I think it’s still enjoyable. The primary drawback is probably that the premise of a comedian being elected president of the USA is much less hilariously unbelievable in the wake of the Trump campaign, and that colours my perception a little - some of the protag’s comments about immigration or women, the way he responds to other candidates in debate, Hell, even Robin Williams’ wearing of a red baseball cap at one point... All of those elements kinda take the humour out of it a bit because of the Trump election, but hey, it was 2006 - how could they possibly know?

Goldblum’s character in this, Mr Stewart, is the lawyer and primed attack dog of a corrupt company that produces the electronic voting machines responsible for Williams’ character being elected. He isn’t at his most Goldblum-esque in this, I have to say - he’s sharp, nasty, and very business-focused, but he doesn’t get that much time on screen, and his on-screen moments don’t lean very much into his usual charm and humour. Stewart is actually a very dull, run-of-the-mill evil corporate type, and he was a pretty boring character.

2007 - Raines, TV Series - IMDb

I will write whatever you want if you can get me a download link for this, or somewhere where I can just buy the fucking series, from Ireland. I am desperate to watch it, because it looks fucking awful. Michael Raines is a detective who hallucinates that his victims help him solve the crimes.

Doesn’t that sound so bad? I need it.

2009-2010 - Law & Order: Criminal Intent, TV Series - IMDb

So like, you know the shtick with Law & Order. It’s a gory, stupid crime procedural that’s just really stupid. This one, Criminal Intent, is about major crimes, but honestly, I have little to no idea exactly what a major crime is, even having watched the two seasons in which Zach Nichols is a marauding force.

Zach Nichols himself is... Fascinating. So, you know how there’s this fucking trend of just, mean detective who everyone lets be mean because he’s a ~genius~ or whatever, and everyone is always like “ugh, he fucking sucks, but we gotta let him do that”? That is not the case with Zach Nichols. Zach Nichols is nothing short of a genuine sociopath, continuously manipulative, randomly and without provocation is he cruel to victims, witnesses and criminals alike. At no point does anybody call him out for being terrible, or even admitting he’s being terrible. It’s like no one registers the cruelty of his behaviour, or cares.

Honestly, I expect it’s quite accurate as to the New York police system, and in the mean time, it’s really fucking hot. He’s my favourite of all of Goldblum’s characters, and he disgusts me on literally every level.

2010 - Morning Glory, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Morning Glory is... It starts out very bland and uninspiring, but it does grow on you more as it goes on. In my opinion, it would have been better if they’d just tried to bill it genuinely, as a comedy-drama, which is what it is - instead, they tried to shoehorn in a very ugly actor I forget the name of as a love interest for Rachel McAdams, I presume in desperate hope of earning that rom-com dollar. Nonetheless, it’s a cute enough concept - TV journalist gets her dream job running a news studio, and has to get bully and asshole anchor Harrison Ford to be fun and wholesome for the morning show. It’s cute, and I do think it’s worth watching despite some of the issues with it.

Jerry is like... He’s so fucking great. Jerry is just an ass. He’s rude, he’s biting, he’s constantly telling McAdams’ character to make stuff that is impossible work, and he very much eats, breathes, and sleeps his job, while packing in time to jog and to fuck an extremely stupid girl, Lisa, he put in the newsroom, who believes in shit like past lives and angels, and is literally the best character in the movie.

Jerry and Lisa are the fucking greatest, everyone else can go home.

According to the IMDb credits, he has a wife who is unnamed, but like... I have no memory of her even being in the movie, honestly. It’s not the greatest of cinematic works.

2010 - The Switch, dir. Josh Gordan & Will Speck - IMDb

The Switch? Bad concept. It’s about Jason Bateman’s character stealing the sperm donation that Jennifer Aniston was going to use to get pregnant, and then replacing it with his own. So like, off the bat, the whole reproductive rape, grievious sexual assault thing, that the movie... Kinda expects you to view as romantic? Somehow? I don’t.... get it. Apparently it’s okay because their characters are “friends”.

Anyway, moving onto the important part, Leonard, Jeff’s character, is great. He’s go the BDE going on; at one point he’s walking on the treadmill while eating a candy bar, and mocks Jason Bateman for not doing the same; he’s sarcastic, eccentric, and a massive THOT that lets women handfeed him; and, inexplicably, despite being Jason Bateman’s boss, him and Bateman are best friends. 10 out of 10 Goldblums for Leonard, who they didn’t bother to give a last name to.

2012 - Zambezia, dir. Wayne Thornley - IMDb

Egh. Like, even for a kid’s movie this one was pretty bland? The actual design and animation is pretty beautiful - I love the designs of all the wildlife, which is the main focus of it, and that’s really well-done throughout; there’s also a star-studded cast of voice actors. The story is pretty dull, and the script ain’t great, but hey. It’s a kid’s movie, and I think it does what it means to do.

Ajax, Goldblum’s character, is pretty cute - he’s like, a busybody, like the fucking... Toucan or whatever he is in the Lion King. He’s the advisor to the bird king or whatever. That’s... I mean, that’s pretty much it. There’s very little to say here.

2013 - Le Week-end, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Le Week-end is fucking adorable. It’s about this struggling middle-aged couple who go to Paris for a weekend to try to rekindle their marriage, and they run around committing shenanigans, arguing, and generally being a little bit adorable.

They meet Morgan, who is an old schoolfriend of Jim Broadbent’s character, and is now like, a best-selling writer in economics, and he invites them for a really stupid dinner party full of really impressive people, which makes both of them feel very inadequate. Jim Broadbent spends a lot of the party with Morgan’s weird teenage son, chatting about how Morgan is kind of a dick, but honestly, Morgan is just... Not self-aware. He’s pretty much in love with Jim Broadbent the entire time, and sings everybody’s praises, then comes to rescue them both at the end.

He’s very cute, kinda selfish, kind of disconnected from reality, and I have a lot of affection for him.

2014 - The Grand Budapest Hotel, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

The Grand Budapest Hotel is like... It’s a Wes Anderson film. Egh.

Deputy Kovacs is probably the least Goldblum-y character in any Goldblum role. He doesn’t have many of the verbal tics, and to be honest, he doesn’t even move his hands in the typical Goldblum fashion - if you look at the dinner scene, you can see his fingers twitching as he tries to keep his hand still.

Kovacs has some good lines, but like any Anderson character, doesn’t really have a character.

2015 - Mortdecai, dir. David Koepp - IMDb

Mortdecai is a terrible fucking film, and I despised it. It was just awful, it really was, and Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow’s characters were each fucking insufferable. It’s about this posh cunt who sells art, and then lots of people try to kill him because he’s posh, and a cunt.

Jeff’s character, Milton Krampf, is the father of Olivia Munn’s character, and Olivia Munn is a nymphomaniac who wants to fuck Johnny Depp. Milton gets like, 5 minutes of screentime, and is weirdly on board with his daughter banging Johnny Depp, but that’s it. If you ask my opinion, they should have had Milton try to bang Depp, and let Olivia Munn be in charge, but like... It was a bad movie. There was no thinking outside the box.

2017 - Thor: Ragnarok, dir. Taika Waititi - IMDb

I mean, what do I even say?

Thor: Ragnarok is like, my least favourite Thor film, but not because it’s not great. Thor: Ragnarok is so much better than most of the other Marvel films put together - it’s fun, it’s snappy, it’s beautifully shot, it has a vision, etc. etc. Taika Waititi’s humour mostly isn’t my thing, but his comedy is so well-ranging and so well-done that like, even if it isn’t your thing, you still get laughs out of his movies. Ragnarok is a great movie - it’s not my favourite for like, Loki’s characterisation, but... Honestly, when you’re watching it, that stuff just falls away. It’s so entertaining and so well done, even if I don’t agree with some of the characterization and story choices.

And the GM, God, he’s... Just terrible. I adore him. You know I adore him, this whole blog is just GM fanfiction. He’s an Eldritch being with unlimited power who forces people to fight in an intergalactic alien arena while shtupping Loki Laufeyson and being too lazy to properly rule a planet. What’s not to love?

2018 - Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity, dir. Ryan Polito - IMDb

Hilarity for Charity was not funny, and was generally very painful to watch. I would recommend you skip through all of the “comedy” except for Tiffany Kaddish and John Mulaney.

At the end of the special, Jeff Goldblum plays the human face of the Netflix Algorithm, and playfully talks about destroying all human life. It’s pretty cute.

2018 - Isle of Dogs, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I fell asleep during this. Like, within a half hour, I fell asleep.

Goldblum is underutilised, but to be honest, so are a lot of the characters - Isle of Dogs is a very weird movie, and I’m a little unclear as to some of the choices Anderson made with it, but visually, it’s a very strong movie, and it’s more enjoyable than most.

I still fell asleep.

Goldblum’s character, Duke, is like, a husky with a cheerful attitude, and he’s constantly gossiping and making shit up. His lines are good fun.

2018 - Hotel Artemis, dir. Drew Pearce - IMDb

Now, Hotel Artemis, not a great movie. The plot is very lacking, the characters mostly cardboard archetypes instead of developed individuals... I think the film has a lot of issues with telling the audience the stuff that could be shown much more artfully, but like, egh.

Despite those issues, Orian Franklin - Niagara - is a very interesting character. He’s in the movie for a very short amount of time (barely twenty-five minutes of screentime, if that) but he’s a really interesting enigma, and I really loved what little they bothered to do with him.

He’s one of those characters that’s much more interesting in fanfic than in the canon.

#as defined by dictionary #jeff goldblum #jgcu #dictionary writes #this is very much under construction lol

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theyellowsubmarinefanremakeblog · 3 years

Text

Yellow Submarine, or The Beatles in Pepperland: The Full Voyage

Narrator: Once upon a time,

or maybe twice,

there stood a huge rainbow gate.

And through that gate

was a magical unearthly paradise called

Pepperland.

(Dissolve to the Rainbow Gate. As we zoom in slowly, the narrator continues.)

80,000 leagues beneath some far off ocean it lay… or lie. I’m not too sure.

But one thing I do know, is that the people of Pepperland were uncommonly happy.

And why not? For their lives were overflowing with fantastic and wonderful things, for theirs was a land governed by the unusual notion that people ought to live in peace and harmony.

And from this small but brilliant idea, such beautiful things as

life,

music,

joy

and love were born.

And these things grew in Pepperland…

and they prospered…

and the Pepperlanders believed their beloved Utopia would last forever…

maybe even longer.

You will not find Pepperland by simply looking for it. It is a country that must be listened for.

Should you hear the pleasing strains of a string quartet,

soft voices,

laughter,

and the flapping of an occasional butterfly,

then you can assume you are approaching the neighborhood of Pepperland.

And a very good neighborhood it is, too.

(The camera passes through the Rainbow Gate, and we see Pepperland in all its amazing glory: here, there, and everywhere there is color and sound in this bright and sunny paradise. Oh, and let’s not forget the music-this is a place where tunes and melodies are cherished by all. Over there sits Lord Mayor and his quartet, with Princess Pepper listening in and enjoying the song, and a ways off, towards the more public regions of Pepperland, Old Fred takes the stage as a conductor before an eager audience.)

Fred: And now, fellow citizens, the beloved finale… Sergeant Pepper’s Band!

(The crowd cheers as the band makes their appearance-four young lads in military uniforms that are just as bright and colorful as the fantastic place we’re currently in-and begin to play. A blue bird alights on a nearby tree to watch. In case you’re wondering, it just so happens that today is Sgt. Pepper’s Day, in which everybody celebrates the discovery and founding of Pepperland. How do we know this? Well how about the large banner saying ‘HAPPY SGT. PEPPER’S DAY! *25 years of Peace & Harmony*’ in big fancy letters? However, there is one guy acting suspicious; a strange bald, blue-skinned man concealing a hidden communicator…)

Hidden Pursuader: Their guard is down.

Guy on the Other End: Good. Now we wait. When HE arrives, then we shall strike. They’ll never see it comin’.

(Now, who would be so peeved off at such a wonderful place? Ask and ye shall receive…)

Narrator: But if history teaches us anything, it is that every paradise has an enemy; whenever there is something decent and lovable-such as Pepperland-there are always hostile forces lurking around who cannot leave well enough alone.

Which brings us to the grievous story of the sneak attack on Pepperland…

(The camera pans up a cliff overlooking the land, where hundreds of sinister blue fuzzball-looking beings are standing ominously, like Native Americans in bad western movies. War flags wave in the breeze as the camera zooms in on one of them, a floppy blue-eared fellow with a large red letter “M” on his front, behind him standing a bizarre army.)

Offscreen Guy: He’s coming!

(Everyone on the army turns just in time to see the guy who shouted hurrying towards them.)

No-Longer-Offscreen Guy: Get ready!

Other Offscreen Guy: Prepare yourselves!

“M” Guy: (with a german accent) Everyblue, into position!

(And they do just that: literally EVERY member of of the group tumble, stumble, and trip over each other in a frenzy.

We then cut to a grey, desolate hill, with a dead tree at the top. At its trunk is a gravestone, and before that is a young girl wearing a purple and black headscarf. She would look normal if it weren’t for the obvious fact that (A: her skin is just as blue as her people, and (B: aside from the scarf, she looks like a dark magical girl. This girl, whose face is currently half-obscured and whose name we shall know later, is visiting the grave of her late father before heading off to join the army. She leaves a small paper flower on the grave, then, after a few solemn moments, stands up and turns to leave. She pauses to looks back at her dad’s final resting place before silently walking back down the hill. As she does so, she removes the headscarf and lets it drop to the ground, revealing a long floppy eared black cap.

Meanwhile, the troops are still scrambling madly to get to their places, until they are all perfectly lined up in separate troops.)

Third Offscreen Guy: Make way!

Fourth Offscreen Guy: Make a hole!

(Cue a group of mooks carrying a sedan chair, and everyblue present goes silent, just as Jane Doe arrives and takes her position. The masses make a clear path as the mooks make their way towards “Mr. M”, and set down their load. At the same time a herald makes an over-the-top introduction.)

Herald: Behold, ye lowly maggots! Your leader! Your chief! The incomparably superior one whose boots you are not worthy to kiss! His Blueness! PRINCE! CERULIO! GORMAIIN! VON! D’INDIGO!!!!!!!!

(The passenger pounds his fist upon the poor herald’s head.)

Passenger: Enough of that! They already know who I am!

(As he says this, he then reveals himself by climbing out of the sedan chair. He is the largest fuzzball, with a black cap similar to that of our mystery girl’s, ugly yellow teeth, and a pompous air about him. This is the infamous Chief Blue Meanie, Blaumiesen Prince Cerulio of the Kingdom of Azulia, leader of the wretched Blue Meanies. *Pretty intimidating introduction, aint’ it? Trust me, you have yet to see his Establishing Character Moment.*)

Cerulio: Aah, Pepperland, a tickle of joy upon the blue belly of the universe. “Too bad” that it must be scratched. Right, Max?

(Max *Yes, he’s the “M” guy* steps forward and salutes.)

Max: Yes, Your Blueness!

(Cue Cerulio’s aforementioned Establishing Character Moment.)

Cerulio: WRONG! (With the sound of shattering glass, he pulls down a graphic with NO! in bright red on a blue tye-dye background.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (He pulls the graphic up, again with the breaking glass noise, and grabs Max by the ears. *If this scared the living animal Bejebus out of you, I apologize in advance.*) Say that again and I’ll beat you pink and purple and back to blue again! We Meanies only take “NO” for an answer! (drops Max) Watch your tongue, for start saying the “Y” word and you might start thinking like THEM; (gestures to the oblivious Pepperlanders below) start thinking like them and next thing you know, you’re in grave danger of becoming one of them! Is that understood, Max!?

Max: (grinning fearfully) Y-Ye-I mean, No, Your Blueness!

Cerulio: (calmed down) Thaaaat’s better. Are the troops in their final stages of readiness?

Max: No, Your Blueness!

Cerulio: The Bonkers? (These are tall, thin beings in suits who have little to no emotions and no biological sex whatsoever. Each one holds a giant green apple which zhe uses for… well, duh.)

Max: No, Your Blueness!

Cerulio: Clowns? (Creepy armless robotic clowns whose heads spin around like in the Exorcist-and we have yet to hear the horrific sounds they make.)

Max: No!

Cerulio: Snapping Turks? (Fat fez-wearing guys with ravenous belly-faces; the mouths on the heads are for speech, while the ones on the stomach are for eating.)

Max: No!

Cerulio: Anti-Music Missile? (We’ll be seeing what that does very soon.)

Max: No!

Cerulio: The Dreadful Flying Glove? (And by “Flying Glove”, he means that SADISTIC FLYING HAND-SHAPED HALF-MONSTER-HALF-MECHANICAL DEMONIC ABOMINATION THAT CAN AND WILL BRUTALLY MAIM ANY AND EVERY LIVING THING IN ITS PATH, LEAVING ABSOLUTELY NO SURVIVORS.)

Max: No!

Cerulio: Splendid! Now, Max, make ready the new salute for our nation!

(Max steps up and salutes with devil horns. Everyblue proudly does the same.)

Cerulio: Good, good, wonderful! (glares down at the land below while rubbing his hands together) This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for, my little psychopaths, for today, Pepperland goes… Bluey.

(At these words, the Meanies cheer loudly. Back down below, the Pepperlanders are still happily doing what they please, completely unaware of the danger looming over the horizon. A young boy wearing a brown beret and a yellow shirt relaxes on a grassy knoll, listening to the music, when something catches his eye. He sits up to get a better look at what looks like a dark blue crow the size of a falcon that swoops down and, unnoticed by all but the boy, perches on the highest branch of a nearby tree. As he watches, the bird seems to scan the crowd before letting out a loud cry…)

Boy: Oh… snap.

(Without a second’s pause, the boy jumps to his feet and starts running towa,rds the stage where Sgt. Pepper’s band are still performing.)

Boy: Captain! Captain Fred!

(But by then, it’s already too late.)

Cerulio: FIRE!!!!!!

(Two Minor Meanies, Blaumiesen soldiers wearing vaguely-Mickey Mouse-like caps, yank on levers and a huge blue shatterproof-glass sphere, like a large blue marble, is launched from its hiding place in the rocks and soars down towards Pepperland. This is the Anti-Music Missile. First one, then four, then many more in the audience spot the ball as it careens towards them. Realizing that this is clearly something dangerous, all those who are watching scatter.)

Assorted Bystanders: Oh my god!/What is that thing?!/It’s heading right towards us!/Look out!/Outta my way, please!/Run!/Take cover!

(In an instant, the Missile lands, rather violently, on SPLHCB, causing the ground to shake as it envelops the performers instead of crushing them. The area falls silent as everyone present gawks at the now-frozen band in shock and horror. But the absolute worst is yet to come…)

Cerulio: Send the signal to sound the charge!

(Immediately, one of the Countdown Clowns lets out a loud unholy piercing screech that sounds like what you’d get if you were stupid enough to mix together the distorted sounds of a woman screaming, a squawking violin being played horribly off-key, a Klaxon alarm, and an air raid siren. It’s just that disturbing to listen to.)

Cerulio: ATTACK!!!!!!!!!

(With a mighty mass battle cry, everyblue charges down the hill, armed to the teeth with various assorted weaponry. Behind them, a short Meanie is the last to run by.)

Short Meanie: Wait for me!

(At the sight of the advancing Meanie army, the Pepperlanders pull another Mass Oh Crap and try to run, but are blasted and frozen in place by the cobalt blue projectiles-Splotch Bombs-raining down upon the land. Squads of Minor Meanies-Stormbluepers-toss blue grenades, while troops of humanoid Meanies with snapping lizard heads for hands-Jack-The-Nippers-raise havoc on the countryside’s flanks. The people are herded into easily conquered groups by the four-headed-more like four-BODIED-Blaumiesen Bulldogs, while the Apple Bonkers drop their fruity loads on anyone unlucky enough to lag behind. Meanwhile, Cerulio is busy laughing his arse off at the people’s misery like the dirtbag he is.)

Cerulio: Ah, music to my ears! And all music must be silenced!

(As the citizens run about in a blind panic, screaming, the boy in the yellow shirt takes out his rather fancy-looking bow and arrow *Actually, to be fair, that thing’s pretty friggin’ awesome.* and turns to his friend, a rather plump-looking boy whose face is concealed by his hat and coat.)

Boy: Run, Charlie! I’ll hold them off!

(“Charlie” immediately complies, and as he makes a desperate break for it, his friend pulls back the arrow and starts to aim it high up at the Blue Mountains… and right at Cerulio. *In case you’re wondering, yes, this kid has a VERY good aim. Seriously, he’s like a kid Robin Hood!*)

Boy: 'Lessee what happens when their chief takes an arrow to the knee…

(However, just as he’s about to fire the arrow, Charlie spots a Splotch Bomb heading towards him.)

Charlie: Clef! Watch out!

(Too late: the Bomb hits Clef before he can dodge, petrifying him in an instant, arrow still in place.)

Charlie: NOOO!

(He runs to his friend, only to be seized by two Stormbluepers.)

Charlie: Let go of me!

(As he struggles, his hat comes off, revealing familiar blue features. Meanwhile, Fred is desperately searching for something-or rather, someone.)

Fred: Coco? Coco!

(Coco, a female parrot, flies to his shoulder.)

Coco: Here I am, Cap’n!

Fred: Quickly, Coco, we must warn the Lord Mayor and the Princess!

(Back on the mountain…)

Cerulio: Glove? Glove? Come here, Glove!

(The Glove flies to its master obediently.)

Cerulio: Look out there and tell me, what do you see? (to Max) Tell him, Max!

Max: Someone running!

Cerulio: Right. Well, you’ll soon put a stop to that, won’t you Glovie? Go, Glove! Point, and having pointed, POUNCE! GO!!!

(The Glove launches towards Fred and Coco, who finally find refuge in the sculpture of YES. Coco spots the monster coming.)

Coco: Cap’n!

Fred: Oh dear, oh dear!

(The Glove begins smashing the letters, leaving them with no choice but to flee once more. As they do so, more sculptures are destroyed, including the sculpture of KNOWLEDGE, leaving only the letters N and O.)

Cerulio: (laughing) Oh, I haven’t had this much fun since we last played Pompeii!

(Fred and Coco reach the stream where Ali the Croc Mote is resting in the sun. Fred collapses, momentarily exhausted. The Glove hovers menacingly behind them, letting out a deep, demonic laugh.)

Cerulio: Now you’ve got him under your thumb, Glovie! FINISH HIM OFF!!!

(The Glove forms a fist and prepares to bring itself down… only for Ali to suddenly move out of the way, carrying Fred and Coco with her. The result: the Glove splashing down into the water hard.)

Cerulio: What?! WHAT?! WHAAAAAAAAT????!?!!!!?!??!??!? The Glove’s losing his touch!

(And now he goes completely nuts, as he runs up to one of the Countdown Clowns, beating and shaking him.)

Cerulio: Do your worst! DO YOUR ABSOLUTE WORST! EXPLODE THEM!!!

(In response, a Stormblueper climbs a small stepladder and presses the Clown’s red nose. Explosions rock the land as the Glove, having recovered from its dive into the stream, catches up with Fred and Coco, swerving around to face them.)

Fred: Now, now, it’s not polite to point!

Coco: (looks at Fred incredulously) Wh-

(He runs the other way with Coco, passing the Hand Holder’s Monument to Mateyness.)

Cerulio: A thing of beauty… DESTROY IT FOREVER!

(The Stormblueper presses the Clown’s nose again, but the Glove just happens to be passing by in relentless pursuit of its prey; you get points for guessing what happens next. Yup! In an instant, the Glove finds itself buried beneath the ensuing rubble, felled by friendly fire. Fred and Coco finally reach the Lord Mayor and Princess Pepper.)

Fred: Sir! Sir! The Blue Meanies are coming!

Lord Mayor: Not here. They wouldn’t dare.

Fred: They would!

Coco: They are!

Fred: What are you going to do?

(Now, if you were expecting this one hundred eighty four year old mayor to do something epic in the name of his people…)

Lord Mayor: Finish the quartet.

(…you are obviously watching the wrong film. His ensemble begins to play, until the the fourth member is struck by a Splotch Bomb. His violin flies into the air and is caught by Fred.)

Fred: Trio, sir!

Pepper: Trio?

(Next to be hit is the third member, his violin flying into the air as well, only to be caught by Fred.)

Fred: Duet, sir!

Lord Mayor: Duet?

(Finally, the second member is struck down, her violin flying into Fred’s arms.)

Fred: Solo!

(Only now is the Lord Mayor convinced.)

Lord Mayor: Young Fred! Coco! The Blue Meanies are coming! (jumps into the arms of Fred, who drops all three of the violins and runs for it)

Coco: Finally, come on!

Pepper: I’m coming! (runs as well)

(All around, the color is draining from Pepperland.)

Coco: God, the Meanies really mean business!

Lord Mayor: Then, there is only one last resort.

(Cut to a live-action beach resort)

Lord Mayor: No, no, not that resort.

(The four run fast and hard, all the way to a massive pyramid. At the top, a submarine-bright yellow in color-is perched.)

Fred: (setting the Lord Mayor on his feet) Why are we here, sir?

Lord Mayor: Four scores and thirty-two bars ago, in order to escape the second war, our forefathers…

Fred: A quartet?

Lord Mayor: …and foremothers…

Coco: Another quartet?

Lord Mayor: …made it in this, Sgt. Pepper’s Rhapsody…

Fred: What, that thing?

Lord Mayor: …to the Sea of Life, and to Pepperland.

(Behind them, the Blue Meanies are approaching fast. An anchor descends from the submarine.)

Lord Mayor: Climb aboard, Young Fred and Coco.

Fred: But, sir, I can’t even make me soap float!

Coco: What about that uniform you’re wearing?

Fred: It was for the Sgt. Pepper’s Day celebration!

Lord Mayor: I’m appointing you Lord Admiral.

Fred: Lord Ad-? In that event, yes!

(The anchor begins to rise, taking Fred and Coco with it, into the submarine. The Meanies get closer.)

Lord Mayor: Hurry, Young Fred and Coco! Go! Get help!

Fred: B-but where should we go?

Lord Mayor: No time for trivialities. Go.

Pepper: We believe in you! Good luck!

(Fred and Coco disappear inside the submarine, which takes off, flying through the etherium, barely missing the bomb destroying its pedestal. The Stormbluepers, seeing this, rush to a blue submarine-like craft in order to pursue it. Meanwhile, Cerulio faces the other Blue Meanies.)

Cerulio: My friends, this is indeed a great day. We have given birth to a new nation, the greatest ever known! We have given birth TO WATERBLOO!

(The Blue Meanies cheer. Back at the pyramid, the Lord Mayor and Princess Pepper solemnly play their instruments. They are surrounded by a squad of Apple Bonkers, who raise up their apples. Above, the Rhapsody flies off, unnoticed by the Meanies (except for those chasing the sub). Then, the apples come down, covering the screen in darkness.)

Walt Disney Pictures Presents

A Studio Macaron film

Yellow Submarine, or The Beatles in Pepperland

SONG: Yellow Submarine (female cover)

In the town where I was born Lived a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life In the land of submarines

So we sailed up to the sun Till we found a sea of green And we lived beneath the waves In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all aboard Many more of them live next door And the band begins to play In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

As we live a life of ease Every one of us has all we need Sky of blue and sea of green In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

SONG: Eleanor Rigby

Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice In the church where a wedding has been Lives in a dream Waits at the window, wearing the face That she keeps in a jar by the door Who is it for

All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie, writing the words Of a sermon that no one will hear No one comes near Look at him working, darning his socks In the night when there’s nobody there What does he care

All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong?

Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, died in the church And was buried along with her name Nobody came Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt From his hands as he walks from the grave No one was saved

All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong?

(After the song, we open in Penny Lane, at the top of Hope Street, a rather depressing street in Liverpool. We’ll put it where we want, and the reason we chose Liverpool is that Mr. Kite once lived there. Well, we’ve always wanted to pay him a little compliment, so the Beatles therefore are staying in Liverpool. We pan down from the sky to see them making their way downtown, chatting with each other. A banker with an umbrella passes them by.)

Paul: Why’s that banker got an umbrella?

John: Must be saving up for a rainy day.

(In the nearby River Mersey, the Rhapsody surfaces, its periscope swinging around, until it points in the direction of the Beatles.)

Coco: Hey, Cap’n! Look!

Fred: By Neptune’s nibbles! Quick now, navigate our way over to them.

(The sub follows the Fab Four, while staying in the river. Ringo perks up and looks behind him, but the Rhapsody has vanished back underwater.)

Ringo: Say, fellas, would you believe me if I said that we were being followed by a yellow submarine?

George: No, I wouldn’t believe you.

Ringo: Didn’t think you would.

(They reach the place where they’re currently staying, the Pier House Apartments.)

Ringo: I could have sworn it was a yellow submarine! But that isn’t logical now, is it? It must have been one of them “unidentified flying cupcakes”, or a figment of me imagination… Only I don’t have an imagination.

Paul: You don’t even have a figment.

(As they enter, the submarine surfaces again.)

Coco: Hey, Cap’n? How exactly are we gonna do this? I mean, we can’t just go up there and cry for- (notices Fred is not there) …Cap’n?

(Of course, Fred is already at the door.)

Fred: HELP! HELP! HELP!

Coco: (facepalming) Oh for the love of…

(She flies out after him, as he bangs on the door.)

Fred: HEEEEEELP!

Ringo: (through the mail slot) No thanks. Don’t need any.

Coco: He means us! We’re the ones that need help!

Ringo: Oh, really?

Fred: HELP! Won’t you please, please help us?

Coco: Cap’n, you’re being ridiculous. This is just embarrassing.

Ringo: Be pacific.

Fred: Ggggaakbunkahbdonkaglrigabpbr music lmrapqlifrheabffffunkahhluh blue gegahdahmaeroohthe s-s-submarine nbnhh explosion grfl BLUUEEE MEANNNIEESS!

Ringo: Is he like this often?

Coco: Only before dinner.

Ringo: What you two need is…

Fred: H for hurry,

E for Ergent,

L for love me do,

and L for p-p-PLEASE HELP!

(The door opens up into a large hallway, and Fred enters, Coco on his shoulder. As they look around, they are surprised to see Ringo driving a car towards them. Coco lets out a squawk of fear and flies up. Thankfully, Ringo stops just before running down Fred.)

Ringo: Oh, you’ve touched me heart, you have. Hop in and we’ll get me friends.

Fred: Oh, bless you!

Ringo: Did I sneeze?

Coco: Just drive already. I’ll tell you what you need to know. You see…

(They drive off, as Coco explains everything. Dissolve to them reaching a hall of doors.)

Fred: Just park it here.

Ringo: I’ll just park it here.

(They get out and enter one of the rooms, which is full of displays.)

Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here?

Ringo: Displayin’.

Fred: Displayin’ what?

Ringo: Displayin’ around. (Rimshot)

(The three pass through the Hall of Heroes.)

Fred: Can’t we take one of these?

Ringo: No. I only work with me mates.

Coco: Wait, wh-

(Smash cut to John throwing magnetic letters against the refrigerator. Ringo, Fred and Coco enter the room.)

Ringo: John, listen-

John: Keep out of the firing line! Wouldn’t want to put words in your mouth.

Ringo: Look, John, we’d like a word with you.

John: Sorry! Didn’t I offer you one? (holds out some cookies shaped like various letters) Now, what is it?

Ringo: Listen to Old Fred.

Fred: Ggggaakbunkahbdonkag music lmrapqlffunkah blue gemaeroohthe s-s-submarine nbnhh explosion grfl BLUUEEE MEANNNIEESS!! …So what d'you think?

John: I think it needs a rehearsal.

(Cut to the group back in the hallways.)

John: So, when do we leave?

Coco: Well, Ringo said there were three of you, so two more left.

John: Alright then, what day is it today?

Ringo: Sitarday.

John: Then George will be here. (opens a door)

(Inside, we and the group are treated to a bevvy of psychedelic imagery. At the center of it all, George sits meditating.)

Ringo: George, what are you doing there?

Coco: That’s only one of the things I’d like to know.

(A voice from behind startles them.)

George: What is it, Ringo?

(They turn around to see George driving up in the car.)

George: Is there a matter you’d like to take up? Or down?

Ringo: This chap here…

Fred: Ggggaakbunkahbgmusibluuemaerosubmarinenbnhhexplosion-

All three men: BLUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEES!!!

George: …Ah, you’re nuts, the pair of yer. (begins to drive away)

Ringo: Hey, wait a minute, that’s my car!

George: How do you know it’s your car?

Ringo: I’d know it anywhere.

George: What’s it look like, then?

Ringo: Well, it’s red with yellow wheels.

(With a honk, George is driving a different car.)

Ringo: I mean, blue with orange wheels.

(And again, George rolls up in another car.)

Ringo: I mean-

George: It’s all in the mind.

Coco: …You know what, let’s just find the fourth guy.

(The others get in.)

Ringo: Come on, move over! I’m driving.

George: I got here first.

John: I’ll drive, if you like.

George: No, you sit in the middle.

Ringo: No, I’m sitting in the middle.

John: You said you were driving.

Ringo: I am driving!

George: I’ll get in the back, then.

(This continues as they drive offscreen.)

Coco: LOOK OUT FOR THAT-

(Suddenly, there is a horrendous, multi-part crash from offscreen. Things hit things and fall on top of other things, knocking them into other things on the way. The last thing, whatever it is, sounds quite small and goes clingclingcling… clink. The group walk back onscreen.)

John: Come on, we’d better find Paul, hadn’t we?

(He opens a door onto real footage from the movie King Kong (not the 2005 remake), as Kong is loose in the city.)

George: Do you think we’re interrupting something?

John: I think so. (closes the door)

Coco: Are you sure you have some idea where he is?

John: Probably through this door.

(He opens it onto a face washing table… but then a FRICKIN’ STEAM TRAIN COMES BARRELING TOWARDS THEM. Luckily, John slams the door shut just in time.)

George: It’s all in the mind.

John: Let’s try one of these doors.

Coco: Oh god… (prepares herself for whatever craziness is imminent)

(John opens the door onto a cheering audience. The reason they are cheering, of course, is because of Paul, playing Mozart on the piano.)

Ringo: There he is!

George: They do look nice, don’t they?

Ringo: Yes, they do.

John: They do, though, don’t they?

Ringo: Don’t dey, dough?

George: Dough?

Coco: D’oh!

(Paul comes out, a loving fan’s bouquet in arm.)

Ringo: Don’t ask.

George: Dat’s dough.

Paul: What’s the matter, fellas? Blue Meanies?

Coco: How did- (pause) Forget it.

(Meanwhile, outside, the foreboding shape of the blue sub quietly surfaces, unnoticed by bystanders. It’s hatch opens…

Cut to back inside.)

Coco: So, that’s why we’re here. Bottom line, we need he-

(She is interrupted by a harsh knock at the front door. Ringo looks through the mail slot again, this time seeing a group of strange men clad in blue. Coco joins him, and is shocked by what she sees.)

Coco: Oh, no. They followed us!

Ringo: The Blue Meanies? They don’t look blue to me.

Coco: Any nonhuman being from the Fabuverse turns human under the Squareverse’s sun! Now let’s get going, fast!

Fred: Isn’t there another way out?

John: Sure, I’ll lead the way.

Coco: Then lead!

(Quickly, they head for the back door. Shortly after they disappear around the corner…)

Stormblueper: Three! Two! ONE!

(There is a scream, followed by the door breaking off of its hinges, one of the now-human Stormbluepers having been used as a living battering ram by his compatriots. They look around, confused.)

Stormblueper: Find them!

(They all run into the hall of doors.)

Stormblueper#1: Which way?

Stormblueper#2: Here!

(They all crowd around, weapons drawn, as he opens the door…

Suddenly, CHOO-CHOO! Cut to the protagonists, having made it outside, as we hear the Stormbluepers screaming.)

Fred: Well, lads, what do you think?

John: I think that-

Fred: Remember, there’ll be rough Seas ahead. What do you think?

Paul: Well, then, um-

Fred: Pounding, overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?

George: Well, I think-

Ringo: As a matter of fact, I-

Beatles: I think-

Fred: Well?

Beatles: I’ve forgotten.

(They arrive at the Rhapsody, which instantly opens its hatch.)

Fred: Right, then! Let’s get this vessel shipshape.

Paul: I kind of like the way it is; submarine-shaped.

(They climb aboard. Cut to inside the sub.)

Paul: So this is a submarine.

George: Soft, isn’t it?

Ringo: (pops up from the bottom hatch) Not if you’re on the bottom.

Fred: All right, lads, time to stow the gab and turn to.

Paul: Groovy. How do you start this thing?

Fred: (pulling out stuff from the cupboard) Well, it starts with a Blue Meanie attack.

Coco: That’s not what he meant.

Fred: Oh.

John: Supposing that there’s no Blue Meanies in the neighborhood?

Fred: Well, then, uh… then, you start looking for a switch.

Ringo: Which switch?

Coco: Any switch, Ringo.

(Ringo looks at the controls before covering his eyes and flicking a switch. The Rhapsody submerges.)

Ringo: Perhaps this is it.

SONG: All Together Now

One two three four Can I have a little more Five six seven eight nine ten I love you

A B C D Can I bring my friend to tea E F G H I J I love you

Bom bom bom bompa bom Sail the ship Bompa bom Chop the tree bompa bom Skip the rope bompa bom Look at me

All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now

Black white green red Can I take my friend to bed Pink brown yellow orange and blue I love you

All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now All together now

Bom bom bom bompa bom Sail the ship Bompa bom Chop the tree bompa bom Skip the rope bompa bom Look at me

(Meanwhile, in occupied Pepperland, Cerulio…)

Cerulio: WHAAAAT?! They ESCAPED?!

(He is communicating with the Stormbluepers in the Squareverse, roughed up from their encounter with the train, through a closed-circuit communication machine.)

Stormblueper: We did our best, sir. But then there was this huge train…

Cerulio: ENOUGH! (punches a hole through the monitor)

(Huffing, Cerulio turns to Max and the Blaumiesen girl we saw earlier.)

Cerulio: Obviously, those idiots aren’t prepared for the world above, so we’ll just have to wipe them out here in the Fabuverse, shall we? (to the girl) M.E.G., lead a squad to find yon upstarts… and O-BLUE-TERATE THEM.

(Now, this is Monstrous M.E.G. (Don’t ask what M.E.G. stands for.), real name Vannessa. She is the belle of the Blues, whose bravest Stormbluepers would all have her to woo, but she always wards them off with a chainsaw.)

Vannessa: No, your Blueness. We’ll make sure to do our worst to them.

(Cut to the Stormbluepers preparing their hovercrafts. Vannessa mans and starts one, followed by the others. With her in the lead, the squad flies up and out of Pepperland. We cut back to the Rhapsody as it passes through various strange sights.)

John: Look! Strawberry coral as far as the eye can see!

Fred: You’ll see stranger sights than that before this voyage is over. Each Sea will be more terrifying than the last.

(The submarine enters an area of large clocks, hourglasses and sundials.)

Ringo: What time is it, governor?

(The clocks and calendars aboard the sub are going haywire.)

John: It’s time… for time.

Coco: Look, the hands are slowing down.

(And they are.)

Paul: And we are going backwards. Say, do you ever get the feeling…

John: Yeah?

Paul: …that things aren’t as rosy as they appear under the surface?

George: What’s happening, John?

John: Well, in my humble opinion, we’ve become involved in Einstein’s time-space continuum theory, relatively speaking, that is.

George: Of course.

(The clocks slowly begin to stop.)

George: Maybe time’s goin’ on strike.

Paul: What for?

George: Shorter hours.

Ringo: I don’t blame it. It must be very tiring being time, mustn’t it?

All: Why?

Ringo: Well, it’s a 24-hour day, innit?

John: You surprise me, Ringo.

Ringo: Why?

John: Dealing in abstracts.

Ringo: Now, look here, John, just because I’m a drummer doesn’t mean that I… (he begins to shrink) …You know, I’m starting to feel funny.

Paul: You know, Ringo, you’re not half the man you used to be. (shrinks as well)

Coco: (also shrinking) What in the name of Mother Goose is going on?!

George: Everything’s getting bigger.

John: No, it’s not. It’s us that’s getting smaller.

Coco: And younger!

Ringo: (sobs) I want me mam!

Fred: (now younger) There you are. Old Fred will get you out of all this.

(The sub passes a group of bearded men.)

Ringo: Hey, look at that! It’s a load of Father Christmases.

John: No, it’s not. It’s Father Time.

Ringo: How do you know?

John: I read it in a book once.

Fred: I don’t mean to alarm you, but the years are going backwards!

Coco: HEY! No schnitzels!

George: What’s that mean, Old Fred?

Fred: It means if we slip back in time at this rate, very soon we’ll all disappear up our own existence!

John: What are we gonna do, then?

Fred: I suppose we could always try a few buttons.

Coco: Waitaminute, Waitaminute. John, would you say that the clock is time, and time is the clock?

John: Well, if you want to get technical, no, but I see where you’re going.

Ringo: (sniffles) I want me mom.

Fred: Time’s fast running out for us, I’m afraid.

John: Can’t we do something with the clock?

Ringo: What do you mean?

Coco: Move the hands forward! Hurry!

(John does so. In an instant, everyone is back to their normal age.)

Fred: Clever kids.

George: Something strange is happening. It’s speeding up, now.

(Indeed, it is.)

Paul: Funny, a submarine exactly like our own.

(Everybody else looks out the windows to see a second Rhapsody.)

Ringo: There’s someone in it, look!

George: And they’re waving.

Ringo: It’s a group of fellas.

John: Wave back!

(They do so. We see that the occupants of the second submarine are… themselves from the future.)

Coco: I don’t get it.

George: Maybe we’re both part of a vast yellow submarine fleet.

Ringo: But there are only two of us.

(As he says this, their hair starts turning grey.)

Coco: Uh, guys?

John: Then I would suggest that yonder submarine is ourselves going back in time.

Coco: GUYS!

George: Hey, look at Ringo!

(Ringo is growing a beard. John starts laughing until the same starts happening to him.)

John: Oh dear, we’re all the same.

Paul: Senile delinquents.

George: And I can hear my hair growing.

Ringo: We’d better do something.

John: I suggest-

George: Wait, John! We cant trust anyone’s suggestion!

John: Why not?

George: We’re all over thirty!

(Paul simply shrugs before beginning another song.)

SONG: When I’m Sixty Four

When I get older losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a valentine Birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I’d been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I’m sixty four?

You’ll be older too And if you say the word I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse When your lights have gone You can knit a sweater by the fireside Sunday mornings go for a ride Doing the garden, digging the weeds Who could ask for more? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I’m sixty four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight If it’s not too dear We shall scrimp and save Grandchildren on your knee Vera, Chuck and Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line Stating point of view Indicate precisely what you mean to say Yours sincerely, wasting away Give me your answer, fill in a form Mine forevermore Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I’m sixty four? Ho!

(In the end, the group return to their proper age again.)

John: Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but would you agree that we are passing through the Sea of Time?

Ringo: That would explain a few things, yeah?

Coco: Yeah!

Ringo: Well, I’m glad I’m not young anymore… Or was it old?

Fred: Don’t look now, but we’ve slipped all the way back to the Ice Age!

(The Rhapsody passes through an icy terrain.)

George: It’s like one monstrous refrigerator.

Paul: Don’t lose your cool.

Coco: (shivering) I wish I could!

(The submarine passes various frozen creatures.)

John: Look at these prehistoric beasts.

George: That one isn’t prehistoric.

(Ringo is somehow frozen in a block of ice.)

Coco: Ringo!

George: Can’t we thaw him?

Paul: I brought a thaw from my tool kit. (whips out a saw)

Coco: WHOOOAA, NO! You might cut him in half, or something!

George: Think warm! It’s mind over matter. (thinks of a desert)

Paul: We’ll try. Keep a stiff upper lip, Ringo. (thinks of a toaster)

John: Stiff lower lip, too. (thinks of a sauna)

(As they think warm thoughts, the ice surrounding Ringo melts.)

Ringo: Gosh, fellas, you saved my life!

Paul: Believe me, it was nothing.

Coco: Uh, that’s not the only life you’ve saved…

(The ice surrounding an Apatosaurus-like dinosaur thaws, freeing it.)

John: It’s a full-grown Bronchial-tsoris!

Ringo: I don’t know much Latin, but that probably means trouble!

(The sub drives away, but the Bronchial-tsoris lumbers after it.)

Coco: It’s gaining on us!

George: There’s only one way to stop that beastie. We think cold!

(And so, they do exactly that: George thinks of the North Pole, Paul thinks of a snowy Winter’s day, and John thinks of ice cream. Soon, the Bronchial-tsoris is frozen solid once again.)

Paul: It worked! We gave that monster the cold shoulder!

John: Good. Now, let’s defrost Ringo.

(Ringo, by the way is frozen again. As the other Beatles set to work thawing him out, he sees a strange sight that they don’t see: a vision of the future in the ice, in which he sees himself on his back, with a girl in shadow on top of him. The vision ends as his friends successfully free him from the ice.)

Ringo: Uh, mates?

(But before he can say anything else, outside, fire begins spewing from the frozen Bronchial-tsoris’ mouth, melting the ice around it.)

Paul: Uh oh. That dino’s got an inflamed throat!

John: I told you it was a Bronchial-tsoris!

Fred: If he melts that ice block, we’ll all be in hot water!

(The Bronchial-tsoris breathes fire at the Rhapsody.)

Paul: Full speed ahead, Old Fred!

Fred: We seem to be getting upsteam quite quickly!

(The sub speeds away, leaving the Bronchial-tsoris far behind. The group breathe a sigh of relief.)

Ringo: We’re safe!

Coco: Thank god.

Fred: Wouldn’t say that, lad. The Sea ahead seems rough!

(Suddenly, the submarine is shaken violently, throwing the group out with a yell.)

Ringo: What just shook us out the hatch?

John: Someone must be hatching a plot against us. Look! The sub’s going off without us!

(Indeed, the Rhapsody is floating away, seemingly of its own accord.)

George: You mean “without us within it”.

Paul: This is no time to plug your songs.

Ringo: What is driving it off?

Fred: C-could be a Blue Meanie!

Coco: No, look!

(The submarine is being hauled off by a uniformed woman on a giant shell with a hook on it. This new character is Rita.)

George: Why, that Blue Meanie is a blonde!

John: And it doesn’t look very blue.

Paul: Could it be a Blonde Meanie, Old Fred?

Fred: No. I’d say it’s a Meter Maid!

Paul: Don’t be daft, Old Fred. Where’s her meter?

Fred: There it is, lad!

(On Rita’s shell, is said meter; it says “VIOLATION”. The group chase after her.)

Paul: Say, are you a Blonde Meanie?

John: Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

Ringo: Why are you towing our sub?

Rita: For standing in a floating zone, and snorking in a dorking zone.

George: What happens now?

Rita: My department impounds your vehicle.

Ringo: Is that a fine?

Paul: It’s not so fine! We’ve got to stop her!

(John climbs up and does a balancing act on the shell’s cable as the others try to stop her.)

Beatles: Stop! Stop! Stop!

Rita: (to John) Young man, you’re stepping on my toes!

Coco: Look, miss Meter Maid, ya got a name?

Rita: Rita.

Coco: Okay, Rita, we’re on a mission here, so if you could just give us back the ol’ Rhapsody…

Rita: I understand you’re in a hurry, but I must do my job, thank you.

Paul: Old Fred, talk to her. Romance her. Win her with your peppery style. We’ll give you a romantic musical background.

Fred: Me? B-but-

Coco: C’mon, Cap’n!

(They push him towards her. He stammers nervously as the Beatles begin to play.)

SONG: Lovely Rita

Lovely Rita, meter maid Nothing can come between us When it gets dark I tow your heart away

Standing by a parking meter When I caught a glimpse of Rita Filling in a ticket in her little white book In a cap she looked much older And the bag across her shoulder Made her look a little like a military man

Lovely Rita, meter maid May I inquire discreetly When are you free to take some tea with me?

Rita!

Took her out and tried to win her Had a laugh and over dinner Told her I would really like to see her again

Got the bill and Rita paid it Took her home, I nearly made it Sitting on the sofa with a sister or two

Oh, lovely Rita, meter maid Where would I be without you Give us a wink and make me think of you

Fred: Well?

Rita: Well… Are you being sincere? I mean, are we merely two subs that pass in the night?

Fred: You can write the ticket… I mean, as soon as we conquer the Blue Meanies.

Rita: You’d send for me?

Fred: I’ll wait at the gate for my date!

Rita: That’s great! (tears up the ticket)

John: If she tosses that away, she could get a ticket for littering.

(Cut to the Rhapsody taking off, Rita waving them goodbye.)

Fred: (sighs) I’m really going to miss that meter…

John: Cheer up, Old Fred!

Paul: You’ve got a real talent with girls.

Ringo: She liked you!

George: You were just her ticket.

(The Rhapsody enters a strange looking Sea.)

Ringo: What kind of a Sea is this?

Coco: That would be the Sea of Science.

George: Oh yeah?

SONG: Only a Northern Song

If you’re listening to this song You may think the chords are going wrong But they’re not We just wrote them like that

If you’re listening late at night You may think the band are not quite right But they are The just play it like that

And it doesn’t really matter what chords I play What words I say Or time of day it is As it’s only a Northern song

It doesn’t really matter what clothes I wear What words I pair Or if my hair is brown ‘Cause it’s only a Northern song

If you think the harmony Is a little dull and out of key You’re correct 'Cause there’s nobody there

And I told you there’s no one there

(As the song ends, an elephant-like creature falls in through the top hatch.)

George: Ugh! He looks wrong.

Paul: He doesn’t look at all well.

George: In fact, he’s horrible.

John: He’s so ugly.

Beatles: REAL ugly.

(This brings a tear to the creature’s eye.)

Coco: Well, he obviously can’t help that!

Ringo: I guess you’re right. (presses a button)

(The creature is dropped through a trap door into a Sea of all sorts of strange monsters.)

Coco: Um, we’d better stay in the sub for this one.

George: Hey! There’s a Cyclops!

Paul: Can’t be. It’s got two eyes.

John: Must be a “bi-cyclops” then.

Ringo: There’s another one.

John: A whole “cyclopedia”!

(As they watch, one of the monsters blows out the image of an ice cream cone. Behind it, a vaccum-mouthed monster-the Suckophant-sucks up the image. The first monster then blows three images, a gas station tank, a pyramid and a colorful tie, but the Suckophant sucks those up as well before eyeing its companion hungrily. The image-forming monster tries to fly away, but gets sucked up, too.)

Coco: Ooohh boy. Looks like the Suckophant is on its usual rampage again.

(As they pass and dodge monsters that I can’t even describe here, they enter a pod of whale-like creatures.)

Paul: Look, it’s a school of whales.

Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.

Paul: University then.

Ringo: University of whales…

John: They look like drop-outs to me.

Fred: They don’t look very happy to see us! Quick, push that yellow button!

(Ringo does so, and the sub dons a smile, amusing the whales.)

Fred: You’ve got to steer clear!

Ringo: Steer clear?

Fred: Yes, steer. Clear?

Ringo: Yes, dear.

(As the submarine leaves the whales behind, Vannessa and the Stormbluepers, unseen, peek out from behind a rock before following.)

Fred: Now, whatever you do, don’t touch that button.

Ringo: Which button?

Fred: That one.

Ringo: This one?

(He presses it, and is immediately launched out of the Rhapsody.)

Fred: That was the panic button.

(Ringo lands on a deerlike creature and is taken on a wild and terrifying ride.)

Paul: Poor Ringo.

George: Poor lad. Never did no harm to no one.

John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo’s gone, what are we gonna do?

Fred: Learn to sing trios.

Paul: Naw, let’s save the poor devil.

(The Rhapsody speeds off in the direction Ringo’s going. Behind them, the Stormbluepers quicken their pursuit.)

George: I see footsteps.

Paul: It’s a pair of Kinky-Boot Beasts!

John: Preparing to attack.

(The Kinky-Boot Beasts try to stomp on the sub, but Paul presses a button. A giant boot comes out and kicks them away.)

George: He’s far out there!

Paul: Always was.

Coco: Uh oh.

(What Coco’s referring to is a Boxing Beastie, punching the living daylights out of a punching bag monster. The Beastie then sets its sights on the submarine.)

George: Hey, it’s seen us!

John: Paul, find the boxing button!

Paul: Whoever heard of a boxing button?

(The Boxing Beastie proceeds to punch the sub. The Beatles’ instruments go flying out.)

John: Who cares? Just find one!

Fred: Never mind that, hit the torpedo button!

John: Fire one! (pushes the torpedo button)

(Instead of a torpedo, a large cigar shoots out of the Rhapsody into the Beastie’s mouth. The sub then opens up like a lighter, lighting the cigar. The Beastie contently puffs away for a few moments until the cigar abruptly explodes in its face. The punching bag monster laughs at this, only to get punched in the face again.)

Coco: Smoking really can be bad for you.

Paul: Hey, there goes Ringo!

(Indeed, Ringo rides by screaming. Unbeknownst to them, the Stormbluepers are still following.)

Stormblueper#1: Are you sure about this? This seems dangerous.

Stormblueper#2: Danger is my middle name!

Stormblueper#1: I thought it was Louie.

(The Stormblueper launches a grappling hook attached to himself to a mountain which the sub passes. He swings onto the submarine, landing with a loud thump.)

Paul: What was that?

Coco: Oh no…

Stormblueper#2: Open up in there!

Fred: B-Blue Meanies!

(Paul exits the sub through the top hatch, to be confronted by the Stormblueper. Already, his compatriots have caught up and are now on the submarine as well.)

Paul: Oh! Hello.

Stormblueper#2: Heh-heh. You mean goodbye.

(Paul notices the cord attached to the Stormblueper is about to reach its limit.)

Stormblueper#2: Any last requests?

Paul: Why, yes. Could you fly, quite suddenly, off the sub, taking your friends with you?

Stormblueper: What? (is pulled off of the Rhapsody, while screaming like a girl)

(He plows into the other Stormbluepers with the sound of bowling pins, and, true to Paul’s word, they all fly off the sub. Vannessa, who was just about to jump onto the submarine, is struck, and the Meanies all fall to the ground. Paul reenters.)

Fred: Well done, lad, well done!

Coco: Uh, guys? We’re not quite out of the woods yet.

(The Suckophant lumbers in their direction, sucking up any monster unlucky enough to cross its path.)

John: We’ll be sucked into oblivion, mates!

Paul: Or even further.

Fred: Put ‘er in reverse!

(He turns a valve, and the Rhapsody begins moving away from the Suckophant backwards.)

George: So long, Sucker!

Coco: Wait, that’s too much-

(A cannon monster fires firework-like projectiles at them.)

John: Too soon!

Fred: Forward! Forward!

(The submarine manages to fly away from the monster.)

Paul: That was close.

George: Ringo, again!

(This time, he’s being chased by a tribe of humanoid beings throwing spears at him.)

Ringo: HAAALLLP!

(John presses a button with the tip of his shoe. The Rhapsody slides open and the 7th cavalry comes out. Yeah, that’s right. There is the sound of a battle, and the screen shakes a bit, before they return with Ringo into the sub.)

John: How was it, Ringo?

Ringo: (pulling arrows off of himself) ‘Arrowing.

Paul: Hey, look who’s back! Full speed ahead!

(The Suckophant returns, and begins to suck up the sub.)

Ringo: Oh no!

(The submarine is caught up in the suction.)

Fred: By all the sea nymphets, we’re losing power!

Paul: And we’re being swallowed! What should we do?

John: Serve tea.

Paul: Lovely.

(The Suckophant finishes sucking up the Rhapsody, and then proceeds to… uh… suck up the entire landscape? It then notices its tail, and sucks that up, too, but it just ends up sucking up itself, disappearing with a POP! This somehow frees the submarine, which drifts slowly to the ground.)

Coco: We’re not moving at all, Cap’n. What happened to the motor?

Fred: By Neptune’s knickerbockers! She’s puttered out.

John: Well, maybe we should call a road service.

Paul: Can’t, no road.

Ringo: And we’re not sub… scribers.

George, Paul, and John: Sub-scribers, oogh.

Coco: Can we just stop with the awful puns and try to fix the motor?

George: I know something about motors. Let me have a look.

Fred: Here. (shows him the motor, a small, green device.)

George: Is that the motor?

Fred: Can’t you tell one when you see one?

George: Of course I can. Let me peruse ‘er…

(No sooner does he stick his finger into the motor, than he is electrocuted. He pulls his finger back out.)

Fred: Well, what do you think?

George: I think I burnt me finger.

Ringo: Here, lads, look at this!

(They all look out the windows to see a blank white void.)

John: What do you think it is?

Ringo: Nothing.

George: Yeah, it looks like nothing.

Paul: Which means we’ve arrived nowhere.

Fred: Why, that’s exactly where we are! The void between the Seas! The Sea of Nowhere!

John: Oh? Where’s that?

Coco: …Well, guess we’d better start pulling.

John: Sounds like a drag.

(Cut to them pulling the Rhapsody through the blank whiteness.)

George: You know, I kind of like it here. Seems like nothingness. So, logically, if nothing happens here, aside from the sub, nothing bad could happen.

Ringo: Nothing good, either.

Voice: Aspire to inspire before you expire!

Ringo: Huh? Who said that?

Paul: Sounded like it came from over there.

(They all look to see something up ahead.)

Coco: What… is that?

George: An oasis?

Paul: No, it’s moving.

John: And whoever heard of a moving oasis?

(Ringo squints to get a better look at the thing.)

Paul: It’s a local inhabitant!

(Indeed, the thing is alive. He is a short, brown, somewhat pudgy critter, somewhat resembling a cross between a mandrill and a rabbit, with a blue face, and pink ears and tail. Right now, he’s busy typing away on a green and purple typewriter.)

George: He’s probably one of the nothings.

Paul: At least that’s something. Hey, let’s show him our motor.

John: Steady on! You don’t want to show your motor to just anybody.

George: But this is a nobody.

(Meanwhile, as the whatzit interacts with the typewriter, it transforms into various things.)

Whatzit: Medic, pedic, zed oblique, orphic, morphic, dorphic, Greek. Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo, so little time, ha-ha, so much to know!

John: Hello, there. Can you tell us where we’re at?

Whatzit: A true Socratic query, that!

John: Oh? And who the Billy Shears are you?

Whatzit: Who? Ah, who indeed am I? (hands each of them a card)

Fred: Well, who is he?

John: “Jeremy”.

Paul: “Hillary”.

George: “Boob”.

Ringo: (Trying to read “Ph.D.”) Ffffffffffffud.

All four Beatles: Who?

Jeremy: Eminent physicist, polyglot, classicist, prize-winning botanist, hard-biting satirist, talented pianist. Good dentist too. Ha-ha!

George: Lousy poet.

Jeremy: Critic’s voice, take your choice.

Ringo: Must be one of them angry young men.

Paul: Or a daffy old creep.

Jeremy: I, a daffy old creep?

Coco: Ask if he speaks English.

George: Do you speak English?

Jeremy: Old English, middle, a dialect, pure.

Paul: Well, do you speak English?

Jeremy: You know, I’m not sure!

Ringo: He’s so smart, he doesn’t even remember what he knows.

Paul: Hey, why don’t we show him our motor?

John: Should we really… show him our motor?

George: He may not have seen one before.

(He apparently has.)

Jeremy: Electrical, technical, mechanical trouble! Needs the input in the output made double! (rearranges some doohickies in the motor) Turbo-prop, super combustible spring. Metro-cyclonic and stereo-phonic! This motor, I see, has a broken down thing!

(He gives it a thump, and the motor drones to life.)

Paul: He fixed it!

Coco: He fixed it?

George: Great! Let’s go!

Jeremy: Now, I must complete my bust, two novels, finish my blueprints, begin my Beguine.

John: Hey, Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme?

Jeremy: Ha-ha! If I spoke prose, you’d all find out, I don’t know what I talk about! Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo, so little time, so much to know!

Paul: Hey, fellas, look!

Ringo: What are those?

Jeremy: (writing with his feet) The footnotes for my 19th book! This is my standard procedure for doing it; and while I compose it, I’m also reviewing it!

George: A Boob for all seasons.

Paul: How can he lose?

John: Were your notices good?

Jeremy: It’s my policy never to read my reviews!

Coco: That’s nice, that’s nice. (chuckles) Oh, by the way, WHAT THE DAVY ARE YOU!?

John: There must be a word for what he is… Hey, I know!

SONG: Nowhere Man

He’s a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Doesn’t have a point of view Knows not where he’s going to Isn’t he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, please listen You don’t know what you’re missing Nowhere man, The world is at your command

He’s as blind as he can be Just sees what he wants to see Nowhere man, can you see me at all?

Nowhere man, don’t worry Take your time, don’t hurry Leave it all till somebody else Lends you a hand Ah, la, la, la, la

Doesn’t have a point of view Knows not where he’s going to Isn’t he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, please listen You don’t know what you’re missing Nowhere man, The world is at your command Ah, la, la, la, la

He’s a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody Making all his nowhere plans for nobody Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

John: Okay men, all aboard! Let’s go somewhere!

Jeremy: Eh? So soon?

Coco: Yeah, we kinda got places to be.

Jeremy: B-But…

(The others turn to leave. Jeremy looks at his typewriter, which leaps into his hands, shifting into it’s true form, a pin with his face on it. He looks at it, looks around, back at it, then looks up. Tears begin to form in his candy-pink eyes.)

George: Let’s blow this nowhere scene!

Ringo: What about him?

John: He’s happy enough going around in circles.

(A sob prompts them to turn around; Jeremy is sitting on the ground, crying.)

Ringo: Poor little fella.

Paul: (shrugs) I don’t know. Ringo’s just a sentimentalist.

Ringo: Aw, look at him. Can’t he come with us?

Coco: Wh-ju- (sputters) I… Yeah, sure, go for it.

(Ringo smiles and runs over to Jeremy.)

Ringo: Hey, uh, Mr. Boob - you can come with us, if you like.

Jeremy: You-you mean… you’d take a nowhere man?

Ringo: Yeah. Come on, we’ll take you somewhere.

(Jeremy brightens up, and leaps into Ringo’s arms. )

Jeremy: Oh, thank you!

(Back inside the Rhapsody, the others put the motor back in place.)

Ringo: Okay, Booby. Down the hatch.

Jeremy: (climbing in) “Down the hatch.” A quite curious phrase. The middle south midlands Victorian days. Its usage undoubtedly on the increase. I must work it into my new statesman piece!

Coco: Close the hatch behind you. That’s it up there.

Jeremy: (looks up at the hatch) Indeed.

Fred: Steady now, crew! Prepare to go forward!

George: Forward!

Paul: Forward!

Ringo: Forward!

John: Forward!

(The submarine takes off, and soon leaves the Sea of Nowhere behind, entering a new area, one that’s filled with giant heads.)

John: Old Fred, where are we now?

Fred: Heads up lads! We’re in the Sea of Phrenology, and each head has an idea we must get around!

(On hearing this Jeremy gets an idea. He takes the wheel.)

George: Hey, the boob’s getting us through!

Fred: Watch we don’t hit one of them, or it’ll have a splitting headache!

(As Jeremy steers the sub around the heads, a mermaid watches them.)

Ringo: Safe! Thanks to you, Jeremy!

Jeremy: Oh, I know how to come out ahead!

(The gentle humming of the Rhapsody gradually stops.)

Paul: It’s awfully quiet.

George: The motor again?

(The submarine slowly comes to a halt.)

John: We’re adrift.

Ringo: I thought we were a band.

(The sub hits the ground.)

Ringo: What shall we do, Jeremy?

Jeremy: Repair, revive, revamp, renew, ipse dixit, just turn the screw.

(The Beatles, Coco and Jeremy get out, and Jeremy starts diddling with one of the propellers.)

John: What’s he saying?

Paul: What’s he doing?

Jeremy: (removing the propeller, putting chewing gum in its place, and then putting the propeller back) Log sign, clog sign, thingamabob, chewing gum will do the job! A turn of the screw, and all is new!

(He spins the propeller. Immediately, the submarine rises into the air, and takes off with Fred. Oops.)

Coco: Cap’n!

Fred: H is for hurry,

E is for Ergent,

L is for love meeee…

(The others watch, stunned, as the Rhapsody disappears into the distance.)

John: P is for… goodbye?

(After the shock wears off, they turn to Jeremy.)

George: That was lovely, Jeremy.

Paul: Now we’ve lost the sub for good.

John: Or for bad. Or for worse!

Jeremy: Ah.. I’m sorry about that.

Ringo: But he did fix the motor.

Coco: Yeah, but now we’re STUCK here! And we don’t even know where Pepperland is!

Paul: Where are we, anyway? Not still in the Sea of Phrenology?

John: It looks like the Foothills.

Paul: The Foothills of what?

John: The Foothills of the Headlands… Look!

(The mermaid from earlier approaches them.)

Ringo: A mermaid!

John: Look at her eyes! They have that come hither look!

(He goes to her.)

Ringo: Hey! John went thither with her!

George: We can’t let him slither off like that!

Paul: Oh, don’t get in a dither about it.

(They follow him, and watch as he begins to dance with her.)

SONG: Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

Picture yourself in a boat on a river With tangerine trees and marmalade skies Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green Towering over your head Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes And she’s gone

Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Ah

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers That grow so incredibly high

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore Waiting to take you away Climb in the back with your head in the clouds And you’re gone

Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Ah

Picture yourself on a train in a station With plasticine porters with looking glass ties Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes

Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Ah Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Ah Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds Lucy in the sky with diamonds

(As the song ends, Lucy the mermaid kisses John goodbye before swimming away. The others join him.)

John: Uh, carry on lads, carry on.

Ringo: Certainly was carrying on.

George: I feel a draft.

Coco: We must be somewhere near the Sea of Holes.

Paul: Hey, don’t you think we should ask somebody for directions?

(They reach a cluster of heads.)

John: Um, excuse us, but could you tell us the way to Pepperland?

(The heads flash an arrow pointing them in the right direction.)

John: Thanks!

(They continue onwards, and Jeremy tries singing the song for himself.)

Jeremy: Picture yourself just gone nuclear fission, with library cards and a metaphor skies. Somebody quotes you, you read from a source book, a concept with microscope eyes…

(Coco is clearly conflicted on whether or not to tell him that he’s getting the lyrics wrong, because his attempt is so darn adorable. They reach a plain where a dusty substance is sprinkled on the ground.)

Ringo: Gosh, look at all this dust! Where did it come from?

Jeremy: A chemical error and quite imprecise. This is a condiment, a spice!

Ringo: Condi-

George: He’s right, you know. It’s pepper!

Paul: Pepper?

George: Pepper.

(The Beatles start sneezing on the pepper. This continues until, all at once, the heads let out a mighty sneeze, blowing them away. The group fly in the direction of a black hole, disappearing into the darkness.)

Coco: Oh, snap!

(The group slide down a shaft, coming out into a vast area with millions of black holes similar to the one they fell into. And there, waiting for them, is…)

Fred: Lads!

Coco: Cap’n! (flies into his arms)

Fred: Coco!

John: Good to see you again, Old Fred.

Fred: Lucky I managed to stop her before she went off course!

Paul: Where are we?

George: A holey Sea.

John: This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.

Fred: Here is the last great danger-emptiness! Through one of those slots is the Sea of Green, the last Sea between us and Pepperland!

John: But which one?

George: How many do you think there are in all?

Jeremy: (trying to get out of the hole he’s stuck in) Enough to fill the Albert hall!

Coco: Oh dear.

(Jeremy tries to get himself unstuck.)

Jeremy: Thesis, antithesis, synthesis, causes of causal causation!

John: Hey, Jeremy. What do you know about holes?

Jeremy: There are simply no holes in my education!

Paul: You mean, you haven’t composed a hole book?

George: Oh, great! What should we do?

Jeremy: Be empirical. Look!

John: The booby’s making more and more sense.

Paul: Getting better all the time.

John: Great! Come on all, let’s look for the Sea of Green.

(The group begin their search. Meanwhile…)

Vannessa: How did we even get here?

Stormblueper: Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.

Vannessa: Whatever. Let’s just find them. They can’t be too far off.

(The Stormbluepers begin searching for the group, and the two parties somehow manage to miss each other. Eventually, one of the Stormbluepers slips and causes a pinball-like reaction that bounces him in, out and around the holes. This becomes more like a game of pool when he hits the other Stormbluepers.)

Vannessa: Will you quit fooling around?!

(She is struck by a Stormblueper and knocked into the chaos. In the scramble she is sent beneath Jeremy’s hole. Reaching out for something, anything to stop her, Vannessa grabs his ankle, pulling him free. The Stormbluepers and Vannessa all end up tumbling into a green hole, while Jeremy lands at the edge. Turning his pin into a shoulder bag, he inspects the hole.)

Jeremy: Hydrolate, verdant chrysodine, I.E….

(His face lights up, and he turns to call for the others.)

Jeremy: …This hole’s the Sea of Gr-

(Vannessa suddenly pops out of the hole behind him. He turns back around as she gathers her bearings. Her gaze falls on him. He backs up a bit, then turns to run. However, her weapon is out in an instant.)

Vannessa: FREEZE!

(He complies. Meanwhile, Ringo picks up a hole. After sticking his arm and leg into it, followed by his head, he rolls it into a ball and stuffs it into his pocket.)

Ringo: I’ve got a hole in me pocket.

Paul: Hey, where’s Jeremy?

John: He was over there.

George: Well, he’s not here, now.

Paul: He must have jumped ship then.

Ringo: He wouldn’t do that. He’s our friend!

(Ringo starts searching for Jeremy.)

Ringo: Booby! Jeremy! Hillary! Where are you?

Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo, I’ve got to study, let me go!

Ringo: Jeremy?

(He looks into a hole to see Jeremy, with Vannessa pointing her weapon at him.)

Ringo: Jeremy! (jumps down the hole)

Vannessa: (swinging her weapon around to point at Ringo) Wh-Stay where you are!

(Ringo comes to a halt at the sight of the weapon.)

Vannessa: Now… both of you are coming with me, right now-

(As she says this, her heel, on the edge of the green hole, slips, and she falls backwards with a startled shout. Ringo is quick to react; he bolts forwards and grabs her hand, but he falls as well.)

Jeremy: Ringo! (leaps forward and grabs onto him)

(In an instant, all three splash down into the green hole. The splash is heard by the others.)

Paul: What was that?

Fred: It came from over there!

Cut to Ringo, Jeremy and Vannessa as they plummet through a watery green substance, as Ringo, Jeremy still holding on to him, wraps his arms around Vannessa to protect her. Cut to a now-greying Pepperland. A teardrop in the sky forms, and slowly descends. It bursts upon touching the ground, releasing Beatle, Boob and Blue Meanie. Meanwhile, on a distant hill, the other Blue Meanies take notice of this.)

Stormblueper: Look!

(Ringo sits up, temporarily dazed. When he regains his senses, he turns to Jeremy, who’s passed out.)

Ringo: Jeremy? Jeremy!

(As he tries to rouse his friend, Vannessa stirs. Unnoticed, she gets up, and raises her weapon. Movement catches Ringo’s eye, and he turns to see her pointing her weapon at them both. The mood is tense. On the hill, Cerulio is watching through a pair of binoculars.)

Cerulio: Shoot them, M.E.G. Prove you’re a Meanie.

Max: Let me see!

(He tries to take the binoculars, but they end up falling and breaking. Vannessa hesitates, briefly lowering her weapon, then raises it up again…

BANG! BANG! The Meanies, upon hearing that sound, cheer. Cut back to Vannessa… who has just turned around at the last second and fired into the air. Ringo and Jeremy are unhurt. She lowers her weapon. breathes out, and addresses the two.)

Vannessa: Go on. Leave. But you’d better not cross my path again.

(Taking her advice, Ringo scoops up the unconscious Jeremy and absconds. Dissolve to him carrying Jeremy on his back. The blue bird from the beginning, strangely unaffected by the Meanie’s attack, watches them, unnoticed. Jeremy stirs in Ringo’s arms.)

Ringo: Jeremy…

(As Jeremy opens his eyes, they hear a familiar humming: It’s the Rhapsody, the others having found the Sea of Green. Ringo and Jeremy head there at once, as the other three Beatles, Coco and Fred descend from the sub on its anchor and look around.)

John: So this is Pepperland! A bit salty around the edges. Looks all dingy.

George: And drab.

Paul: And quiet.

Fred: That’s Meanie work!

(They see Ringo and Jeremy coming towards them.)

Ringo: Fellas!

George, Paul, and John: Ringo!

John: Where have you been hiding?

Coco: That doesn’t matter. At least they’re safe.

Paul: Yeah, we’re all safe at last.

George: And none the worse for our adventures.

John: Reminiscent in many ways of the late Mr. Ulysses.

(Just then, Ringo spots something.)

Ringo: Hey, what’s this? A pile of apples?

(Fred, seeing this, rushes to the pile and starts pulling apple after apple off, revealing the Lord Mayor and Princess Pepper.)

Fred: Princess Pepper! Lord Mayor, sir… I’ve made it. I’m back!

Jeremy: Oh my!

George: Who’re these?

Fred: Our Lord Mayor and Princess Pepper. They’ve been bonked!

John: Oh, that explains it.

Fred: Please, unbonk yourselves! (to the Beatles) We’ve got to rouse them, lads! Even a little snatch of a tune might get them up again.

John: Alright, let’s sing!

(As the Beatles sing “Think for Yourself”, the color returns to the Lord Mayor and Princess Pepper.)

Lord Mayor: Do I hear music? Do I see… Young Fred and Coco!

Fred: You do, Lord Mayor.

Lord Mayor: Bless my metronome! And did you bring help?

Fred: Yes, yes! Look!

Pepper: OH MY GOSH! You brought a duck!

Ringo: (half-confused, half-slightly uncomfortable) Uh… I’m a drummer.

Lord Mayor: Holy pizzicato, Young Fred! It’s quite uncanny… your faces…

Paul: We’re quite cute, really.

Lord Mayor: You could pass for the originals!

John: We are the originals.

Lord Mayor: No, no… Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Ringo: They couldn’t be much with a name like that. Sergeant Pepper?

Fred: You could impersonate them and rally the land to rebellion!

Jeremy: But my friends! How can we bring the Blue Meanies’ reign to an end?

Ringo: With music, of course!

Jeremy: Music you say will put their harsh feelings at bay?

(He then proceeds to imagine the following scenario: He simply walks up to Cerulio, sings a song, and then the two hug! And all this is set in felt.)

Jeremy: (eyes sparkling) Yes! Yes! Music is something that no one can hate! Truly the purest way to communicate!

John: (to Ringo) I don’t think he gets it.

Coco: I’m gonna go tell him.

Fred: Now, now, Coco-

Coco: Well, SOMEBODY’S gotta tell him!

(As Jeremy is lost in his glee, he doesn’t hear how the rest of the conversation goes.)

Lord Mayor: Where are your instruments?

John: Lost in the monstrous Sea.

Paul: Sea of Monsters.

Fred: We’ll get other instruments, Lord Mayor!

Lord Mayor: Not a chance! The Meanies captured everything that maketh music.

Pepper: Yeah! They got them locked up in the old fort.

Paul: They hate music that much, do they?

Lord Mayor: They shrink at the very sound!

John: Okay, you guys. It’s shrinking time in Pepperland!

(We switch to an old 1940s newsreel style.)

Reporter: Dateline Waterbloo! Year one of the new Meanie Imperium. Confidence is high as this new and proud nation works long and hard to establish its new government.

(Cut to the Blaumiesen reporter.)

Reporter: I’m here today in the land formally known as Pepperland but now as of recent known as Waterbloo.

(Cut to the fate of Pepperland: The Pepperlanders are sadly frozen in place, and there’s not a flower in sight. Well… there’s a flower, but that’s being eaten by a Stormblueper.)

Reporter: Though it is not easy to establish a government from the ground up, Waterbloo is fortunate to have hard working individuals making their regime stable. And here’s one of them now. Bluford, recently appointed Minister of Trade. Tell me, new Minister, what does your new job exactly entail?

Bluford: I have a lot of stuff I can trade. From blue ore to human children’s tears and we’re hoping we can trade them to other nations for goods and valuables.

Reporter: So, you really think other nations will trade goods and valuables just for those?

Bluford: Oh, sure. North Korea would sell thirty percent of its military just for a video recording of human terror. (Stock footage of people running and screaming) Must be pretty rare there.

Reporter: Of course military forces aren’t a major concern in Waterbloo, Secretary of Defense Shyaman assures the public that everything is well protected, especially from the horrors of music.

Shyaman: It’s true that we’re a small nation and are therefore more prone to attack. But we have a good drill sergeant who knows how to keep up the men’s morale.

Drill Sergeant: Stand up straight! (punches Stormblueper) Tuck in ya shirt! (punches Hidden Persuader) Stop bein’ so tall!

Apple Bonker: Can’t help it. (PUNCH) Ow.

Drill Sergeant: YOU SAY SOMETHIN’?!

Stormblueper: C-c-c-Course not! ‘M deathly afraid of you!

(The drill sergeant pauses, then punches him in the face.)

Reporter: Looks like a solid team you’ve got there.

Shyaman: Indeed.

Reporter: However, there’ve been a few reports that you’re a little gun crazy.

Shyaman: WHO SAID THAT?!

(He shoots the cameraman and then a test pattern appears.)

Reporter: But an invasion seems unlikely thanks to good relations kept by the Head of Immigration, Clodwal.

Clodwal: (on the phone) What do you MEAN you don’t agree with me?! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH?!

(He pounds a Countdown Clown’s nose. There is the distant sound of an explosion, and the phone goes dead.)

Reporter: Every nation needs a treasurer, and Waterbloo has Manikanth, who I understand also designed the flag for Waterbloo. True?

Manikanth: It is. And for a nation like Waterbloo, I figured that we really needed an epic flag. That’s why I came up with a musclebound Stormblueper carrying machine guns and stomping on a music note. Because when people look at that, all they can say is “WATERBLOO!”.

Reporter: Well, it looks like you fellas don’t have a flagpole yet.

Manikanth: Well, we weren’t exactly sure how to get their flag down and ours up. So, we’re just using Oscar as our flagpole.

(Cut to Oscar the Apple Bonker atop a building and holding the flag, which the Stormbluepers salute.)

Reporter: And there are others looking out for the well-being of Waterbloo. Take Oldwin, for example. He is making sure everyone is in good shape acting as Waterbloo’s Surgeon General.

Oldwin: In my short time as Surgeon General here in Waterbloo, I’ve made two amazing medical discoveries. One: When holding a gun, you will not die.

Reporter: Really? And how does that work exactly?

Oldwin: I’m holding one and I’m not dead. Science proven. Secondly, our research has shown that dieting and exercise does not help build healthy bodies. So, that’s why I have encouraged everyone here to start smoking.

(Cut to Blaumiesen smoking and choking. One guy collapses.)

Oldwin: Studies show that smoking does well to strengthen the body and prevent disease.

Reporter: Your studies show that?

Oldwin: Of course. Right here on this chart. (looks at upside down clipboard, turns it over) Heh. What do ya know? (chuckles) I had this bloody thing upside down. Oh. That’s hilarious.

Reporter: But not everyone in Waterbloo is questionably insane. Take for example, Sunil, the local shockjock radio propagandist. So, what exactly about the Waterbloo government bothers you so?

Sunil: Well, nothing really. It’s just that people agree with angry hosts on the radio, it makes them feel better about themselves. So, in my own way. I’m helping the blue people’s morale.

(The reporter looks towards camera and shifts his eyes awkwardly, as if to question how that would work.)

Reporter: Another person keeping up the morale is Livius who is now head officer for science and technology.

Livius: At first we didn’t have much in the science department.

(Cut to a pump rocket launching.)

Livius: But, I’m certain we can get things to a more legitimate level.

Reporter: Well, there is someone in this nation that still does well to keep order in hand. This is Mr. Neel. Tell me, Neel, what are you going to do to keep this nation safe?

Mr. Neel: (a Hidden Persuader) Well, it’s all about surprise to fool our enemy. We are trying to find those who are best able to blend into their environment. For example, we have discovered that Yahto here has a natural talent for camouflage. Isn’t that right, Yahto?

Disembodied voice from the ether: Right!

Reporter: But, do you really think stealth and surprise are going to be enough to keep your enemies on their toes?

Mr. Neel: Oh, of course. It’s all about illusion. In fact, I’m not even in front of you.

(Cut to the reporter holding the mic out, with Mr. Neel behind him. The reporter then turns around, startled.)

Reporter: Oh! Very good. Well, we all know what goes on outside the government building. Let’s see what goes on inside the government building. (He extends his arm, and there is a WHACK.)

Yahto: OW!

Reporter: This is Secretary of State Max. Tell me, Max, what does a normal day entail for you?

Max: Well, mostly I come up with brilliant ideas and His Blueness then slaps me and claims them as his own.

Reporter: Does that pay well?

Max: Not really. But it sure does hurt a lot.

Reporter: And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for! An interview with the man himself! The man who made Waterbloo possible! His Blueness, Chief Cerulio!

Cerulio: GREETINGS!

Reporter: Your Blueness, what are your plans now for this new, glorious nation?

Cerulio: Well, first, we plan on taking over the other Seas. Then, we plan on taking over the entire ocean. And then the world.

Reporter: Ah. And how do you plan on accomplishing this exactly?

Cerulio: I’ll give you a hint. It involves… total o-blue-teration.

Reporter: Well, thank you very much for your time.

Cerulio: Not at all.

Reporter: This has been a special report from Waterbloo.

(Cut to the Waterbloo Flag overlayed with the Glove chasing innocent bystanders, as Cerulio laughs at their misery. A donkey is then overlayed with him with a HEE-HAW. Scene changes to the Beatles and Jeremy, sneaking through Pepperland.)

Ringo: What do we do?

Paul: For now, we coagulate with the crowd.

(Cut to a Stormblueper on patrol. He looks around, as is sensing that something is up.)

George: Cutouts at the ready? Then let’s cut out!

(They sneak through the landscape with cutouts of Pepperlanders to disguise themselves. When the Stormblueper looks at them, they freeze. When he looks away, they continue on. Eventually, they reach the spot where Clef, along with three women, stand frozen. These three girls are the Sonata sisters, Razz, Dazz and Jazz.)

Ringo: He looks like a likely lad to help us.

(They secretly sing a few more bars of “Think for Yourself”, bringing both him and the Sonatas, who are within earshot, out of their immobilized state. He exhales, relieved to be free.)

Jazz: Thank goodness!

Razz: Are you here to liberate us?

Clef: Obviously, but sshhhh!

(They all hide as a Stormblueper passes by.)

Clef: We’d better hide in town.

(Dissolve to the group in Hearttown, Pepperland’s main town. They reach the Sonatas’ home and enter.)

Paul: Groovy place you’ve got.

Dazz: It’ll become even more beautiful once the land is restored.

John: So, what’s your story?

Clef: Well, first things first: The name’s Charlie Elfwood, but you can call me “Clef”.

John: Nice name, that.

(Cut to them having tea. Clef is chatting away.)

Clef: So these blue guys are poking me while I’m frozen and making fun of me, and while I’m trying to ignore them. I’m thinking ‘Well, hey! It could be worse!’ Then one of the tall guys comes along, and I think ‘Oh darn.’ He stops, takes one look at me, and then starts kicking me in the shin. Then all the other blue guys start joining in. So, I’m STUCK there wondering ‘How the heck am I gonna get out of this?’ Well then all of a sudden, that’s when the arrow finally slips outta my hand, and right now it just happens to be aimed right at the tall guy’s-

Jeremy: Ooh!

Clef: Yeah. Anyway, I can help you get those instruments. I know my way around that fort. I once showed my friend the place.

Ringo: Your friend, eh? Can he help out, too?

Clef: Actually, he’s the one that needs help. See, the Meanies got him locked up in there.

Paul: Why?

Clef: Well-uh-He’s… the Chief Meanie’s nephew.

Beatles: His nephew?!

Clef: Yeah.

(The smoke from the incense burning illustrates Clef’s story.)

Clef: We first met when he snuck into town one night. Turns out that he was tired of life in Azulia and wanted something more, so I gave him that. I taught him that life in Pepperland wasn’t as scary as the Meanies made it out to be, and pretty soon, we became the best of friends. But somehow, his uncle found out about it, and he got really mad. That’s what provoked him into taking over.

(The smoke dissipates as Clef finishes his tale.)

Clef: It’s my fault they’re here. And I gotta make up for it. That’s why I wanna join you in saving my friend and Pepperland.

John: Of course you can come! I mean, just because he’s blue, that doesn’t mean he’s a Meanie like the rest of them.

Clef: Great! So it’s settled. We get the instruments and my best friend out of there!

(Everybody nods in agreement.)

Clef: ‘Course, you’re gonna have to disguise yourselves if your gonna impersonate the band.

Ringo: He’s right, you know.

George: If we only had the uniforms.

(Jeremy smiles, then holds out a tailor’s kit.)

Clef: Okay, that’ll do!

(Scene changes to the old fort, at night. The Beatles, dressed in snazzy uniforms and fake beards, along with Jeremy and Clef, creep up the hill.)

Clef: There. That’s where the gear’s kept.

(A Stormblueper patrols the area with a bulldog. The group quickly hide in a bush.)

John: Better lay low and hope they don’t see us.

Paul: Or smell us.

(The bulldog perks up, and starts growling. The Stormblueper scans the area. Nothing.)

Stormblueper: (pulling the dog’s leash) Come on, nothing to see here.

(As he leads the bulldog away, the group peek out of the bush.)

Paul: Right! The coast is clear.

George: Now’s our chance.

(They sneak up to the fort. Two more Stormbluepers guard the entrance.)

Paul: Careful!

John: What we need to get through is a diversion.

Ringo: What we need is a division.

(While Jeremy divides on his calculator, Clef folds some sheet music into a paper airplane.)

Clef: This’ll do the trick.

(He throws the airplane in the direction of the Stormbluepers. As soon as they see the sheet music floating by, they immediately chase after it, guns-a-blazing.)

John: This way! They’re looking off!

Ringo: They’re looking awful, if you ask me.

Jeremy: Through the gate, before it’s too late!

(They all enter the fort. In front of them is a tall tower.)

Clef: That must be where they’re holding him.

(Two more Stormbluepers are on patrol.)

Paul: You don’t have any more sheet music on you, do you?

Clef: Uh… That’s the only one I brought.

John: So we’ll have to think of a new plan.

(Jeremy smiles. Cut to the Stormbluepers marching back and forth, when one of them notices something and stops his companion. A girl in a brown and pink dress steps forward. The Stormbluepers, suspicious, approach her with caution. One of them even reaches for his weapon. Little do they know, the girl is holding a trumpet behind her back. She brings it out. They freak out and draw their weapons, but before they can fire…

HOOOOOONK!

In another moment, the two Stormbluepers are unconscious and foaming at the mouth. The others gather around.)

John: Well, that takes care of that!

Girl: Why, that’s odd…

Clef: I-is that really… the gremlin?

George: Are you enjoying this?

Jeremy: This form may be only a prototype, a test, but I used it for the very best!

Clef: Just get back to normal as soon as you can, okay?

(The sound of white noise comes from above.)

Ringo: What’s that?

John: Sounds like the Blue Meanies are listening to static!

(And they are, contently. Paul, wire in arm, climbs up the side of the tower. John holds one end.)

John: Keep climbing, Paul! It’s all up to you!

Ringo: And if you fall, it’s all down with you!

(At the top, Paul surveys the room. The Meanies don’t notice him. Not even a Blaumiesen boy chained to the wall. This is Charles, the blue boy from the beginning.)

Paul: Sounds like a lot of sound to me… but isn’t that what grown-ups complain about our music?

(He plugs the wire into the radio, and slides back down.)

Paul: It’s all set!

John: Good work! Now let’s give them a little music.

(They plug the other end of the wire into a microphone, and sing more of “Think for Yourself” a cappella. Upon hearing music blaring from their radio, the Blue Meanies go absolutely nuts.)

Meanie: MAKE IT STOP! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS BLUE, LET IT END!!!!!!

(They try to destroy the radio, but it remains untouched. Kicking, stomping, hitting it with a mallet (which breaks!); nothing works. When it’s all over, all of the Meanies, except for Charles, are out cold. The Beatles, Jeremy and Clef climb up into the tower.)

George: The Lord Mayor was right. Music sure “charms” them.

John: Stunning music, you might call it.

Jeremy: Very odd, indeed.

Clef: Charlie!

Charles: Clef!

Clef: Did they hurt you?

Charles: No, no. I’m alright.

(Clef sets to work picking the lock on Charles’ chains.)

Charles: Who are these?

Clef: They’re from the Squareverse. They’re here to help us retake Pepperland!

Ringo: Where are the instruments?

Charles: They’re hidden deeper in the fort.

(Cut to them sneaking into the fort’s main building, Charles leading the way. Inside, the Meanies are fast asleep.)

Ringo: (referring to Cerulio) Hey, he reminds me of my old English teacher…

John: Look, if you must shout, shout quietly!

Charles: The instruments are in here. (indicates a cupboard)

Clef: Come on!

(They all enter. Indeed, the instruments are all packed in this room. A light from the window grabs their attention: It’s a Stormblueper, his mask emitting a searchlight.)

Ringo: Hide!

(They scramble for a hiding place. Jeremy makes a blind run out of the room, but trips over an Apple Bonker, dropping her pin and causing a chain reaction that results in every Meanie awakening. A Stormblueper takes one look at Jeremy, screams in fear and runs, and with the sound of breaking glass, jumps out a window. His scream fades in the distance, then he lands on the ground with a thud.)

Stormblueper: (from outside) What a tall building!

(Unheard in the ensuing hubbub, Ringo trips and falls onto a set of bagpipes.)

Clef: Pipe down!

(Outside, another Stormblueper is roused by the noise.)

Stormblueper: Wha-what the?! WHAT WAS THAT?! The God of Thunder? Trying to enter the building?!

George: Get that thing out of here!

(Ringo throws the bagpipes out the cupboard’s window. It rolls after the Stormblueper, who tries to make a run for it. However, it hits him in the back of his head, KOing him.)

Ringo: Hey, where’s Jeremy?

Clef: Uh, guys?

(They peek out the cupboard to see Jeremy being held before Cerulio by the Bonker she tripped over.)

Cerulio: You dare sneak up on us Meanies?! Who even are you to intrude in Blaumiesen territory?!

Jeremy: Ah, yes… perhaps my cards can tell us!

(She shuffles her cards and hands them around.)

Meanies: “Princess?” “PLUFF???” “SHOE?!” WHAT?!

Cerulio: WHO?!

Jeremy: Eminent phy-

Cerulio: ENOUGH! You are not leaving until you tell us everything we need to know! What are you doing here?

Jeremy: Why, I’ve come to make peace!

(The Meanies shout in disapproval.)

Meanies: Peace?! Ohh! (hiss at Jeremy, with one of them making a cross sign with a skull *Don’t ask where he got it.*)

Cerulio: If you think that there can be peace, then you’re sadly mistaken!

Clef: We should go.

(He and Charles sneak out of the cupboard. The Beatles follow them, armed with instruments, as the Meanies are too preoccupied with Jeremy to notice.)

Cerulio: We Meanies would never make peace with the enemy!

Jeremy: But I’m not an enemy, you see! I am a friend, please trust me!

Cerulio: Wh-TRUST YOU?!

Max: Look what I found, Your Blueness! (holds up Jeremy’s pin)

Jeremy: Ah! You found it. I lost it, you know. Now, I must apologize, for I really must go.

Cerulio: What for?

(The others exit the building, passing the unconscious Stormblueper.)

Jeremy: Well, you see, there are places I really must be.

Cerulio: Stop rhyming and tell the truth!

Vannessa: Hold on. You seem familiar, somehow. Don’t I know you from somewhere?

(Jeremy recognizes Vannessa immediately.)

Jeremy: A-ah, yes, well…

Ringo: (to the others) Shhhhh!

(He doesn’t see the bagpipes in his path until it’s too late; he steps on them, making a loud WAAAAAAAAHH! A Countdown Clown takes notice.)

Paul: Oh, no.

(And there’s that horrible noise again. Jeremy, Cerulio, Vannessa and the other Meanies hear the Clown’s terrifying wail.)

Cerulio: Now what?!

George: That clown is alarming! Let’s exude!

Ringo: But what about Jeremy?

(What about Jeremy, indeed?)

Jeremy: Excuse me.

(She takes her pin from Max and tries to flee, but Cerulio catches her.)

Cerulio: NOT SO FAST!

(Thinking fast, Jeremy sticks the pin into Cerulio’s hand, forcing him to release her.)

Cerulio: OOOWW! AAGGH! GET HER!

(Running for all her worth, Jeremy manages to rejoin the others.)

Ringo: Jeremy!

John: Run for cover, lads!

(The group quickly exit the fort, with the Blue Meanies in hot pursuit. A Stormblueper rides piggyback on a Countdown Clown.)

Stormblueper: Clown, fire one! (presses the Clown’s nose)

(Explosions fill the night air, and Ringo is knocked off his feet. Jeremy gasps.)

John: Ringo!

(He runs to Ringo’s aid, scooping him into his arms. The Blue Meanies get closer.)

Paul: This way, fellas!

John: Hang on, Ringo! We’ll hide in this clump of trees.

(They make a break for the trees. Charles trips and falls.)

Charles: Clef!

Clef: (helping him up) Don’t worry, I gotcha!

(The group hide in the trees. The Blue Meanies pass by their hiding place. Somehow, Ringo is now holding John.)

Clef: See anything?

George: Relax, lads. Not a Meanie in sight.

John: Not even a Teeny Meanie.

Paul: Not even a Teeny-Weeny Meanie.

Ringo: Great.

(Dissolve to sunrise. The blue bird perches on the branch of a tree. The group wake up, stretch and yawn. Jeremy is back to his normal form and gender.)

John: How do you feel this morning, Paul?

Paul: Like I slept on the ground.

(Cut to them making their way through Pepperland.)

Paul: Oh, look! Breakfast! (points to a large apple tree at the edge of a cliff.)

George: I’m dying for a bit of brekky.

(They start picking the giant apples. However, a pair of blue arms reaches up from below and picks some of the fruit.)

John: Look out!

Charles: Apple Bonkers!

(Below the cliff, a Stormblueper rallies four Apple Bonkers.)

Stormblueper: Troops, sound off!

(They begin marching.)

Stormblueper: One, two, three, four…

Apple Bonker#1: One.

Apple Bonker#2: Two.

Apple Bonker#3: Three.

Apple Bonker#4: Four.

John: Five!

Stormblueper: W-Five?!

(Camera pulls back to reveal the Beatles stacked to Bonker height, George at the bottom, and John at the top wielding an apple. Clef, Charles and Jeremy watch from the cliff.)

Clef: Oh, this ought’a be rich!

(The Beatles march up to the rear Bonker and bonk his/her head with the apple. The Bonker falls down stunned, and the lads take his/her place. The Stormblueper shakes his head and gets the column going again.)

Stormblueper: One, two, three, four…

Apple Bonker#1: One.

Apple Bonker#2: Two.

Apple Bonker#3: Three.

John: Four.

Apple Bonker#1: One.

Apple Bonker#2: Two.

Apple Bonker#3: Three.

John: Four.

Apple Bonker#1: One.

Apple Bonker#2: Two-

(Another bonking.)

John: Three.

Stormblueper: (confused again) Three?

(Yet another bonking.)

John: Two.

Stormblueper: (angrily confused and wild-eyed) TWO?!

(Even more bonking.)

John: One.

Stormblueper: (bewildered) ONE?!

(The Stormblueper whirls around to see the Fab 4.)

Stormblueper: Are you blueish? You don’t look blueish…

(At that moment, George’s legs finally give out and buckle beneath him, causing the others to fall as well. The apple flies upwards, and comes down on the Stormblueper’s head.)

John: Run for it!

(The Beatles make a mad dash for cover, and are rejoined by Clef, Charles and Jeremy.)

Paul: Get into that crowd for cover!

(The group hide in a crowd of petrified Pepperlanders. A group of Snapping Turks pass them by.)

Paul: Right, men. We’ve made it!

George: Instruments at the ready.

John: Okay, on the beat… A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six…

Ringo: Can’t you make it three?

John: Alright! On the beat… A-one, a-two, a-three…

SONG: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

It was twenty years ago today Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play They’ve been going in and out of style But they’re guaranteed to raise a smile So may I introduce to you The act you’ve known for all these years? Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

We’re Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band We hope you will enjoy the show We’re Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band Sit back and let the evening go Sergeant Pepper’s lonely, Sgt. Pepper’s lonely Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

It’s wonderful to be here It’s certainly a thrill You’re such a lovely audience We’d like to take you home with us We’d love to take you home

I don’t really want to stop the show But I thought that you might like to know That the singer’s going to sing a song And he wants you all to sing along So let me introduce to you The one and only Billy Shears And Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, yeah

(By the time this song finishes, the color has returned to Pepperland, its flowers rebloom, its sculptures are restored, and the Pepperlanders are freed, to the Meanies’ shock and horror.)

Ringo (singing) What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song And I'll try not to sing out of key

(Meanwhile, Cerulio is mortified.)

Cerulio: The hills… are alive…

Max: (singing) With The Sound of Music…

(PUNCH! Max gets a blue fist to the face, courtesy of Cerulio, who is fuming.)

Cerulio: Who… Who is responsible for this?!

Max: Rimsky-Korsakov?

(Cerulio zaps Max with his pistol. Robin, a cat-like Butterfly Stomper, leaps onscreen.)

Robin: I’MMA GONNA PLANT ME A DUM DUM TREE!

(He stomps on the remains for good measure. When he’s finished, Max weakly pokes his head out of the ground.)

Max: …Guy Lombardo?

(At this point, Cerulio flips out.)

Cerulio: DO SOMETHING! SHOOT THEM! DESTROY THEM! O-BLUE-TERATE THEM!

(In his frenzy, Cerulio bumps into Jeremy, who is wandering around admiring the sights. The latter’s cards fall to the ground. As Jeremy picks them all up, Cerulio sees the names “Princess”, “Pluff” and “Shoe”. Uh oh.)

Cerulio: (Sputters, then seizes Jeremy) THAT WAS YOU?!

(Jeremy grins nervously, then uses his pin to transform into a bird, escaping Cerulio’s clutches and flying away.)

Cerulio: GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE-

(Vannessa runs by.)

Vannessa: Sir! They’re armed! They’re fighting back!

Max: We gotta go!

(He drags Cerulio away by the hand. Meanwhile, the Pepperlanders celebrate their heroes.)

Clef: Looks like we drove the Meanies away, for now. But we’re not done yet.

(Let us hope that Cerulio looks up ‘jerk’ in the dictionary and, under the influence of those meaningful pages, becomes a better ma-NOPE! Let’s see him plot his vengeance. Up in a mountain cave…)

Cerulio: …want to grab the nearest imbecile and toss them off this very cliff! I WANT TO THROW SOMEBLUEY RIGHT NOW.

Max: (nervously) I know you do, Your Blueness. Now please, please don’t.

Cerulio: We, the Blue Meanies, whom all are supposed to be afraid of, foiled by a small group of freedom fighters! We can build great ships that can travel for miles across the Fabuverse, but…

Apple Bonker: We seem to have trouble o-blue-terating them.

Cerulio: We can camouflage these exact same ships so that none of our enemies can detect us until it’s too late, but…

Apple Bonker: We seem to have trouble o-blue-terating them.

Cerulio: We’re going to take over the world, but…

Apple Bonker: We seem to have trouble o-blue-terating them.

Cerulio: We’re going to silence MUSIC OF EVERY KIND, BUT…

Apple Bonker: We seem to have trouble o-blue-terating them.

Cerulio: (hops around a bit, gnawing on his cap, ready to pop) HOW ARE YOU THIS INCOMPETENT?! HOW?! ARE YOU EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY?! THIS IS NOT A GAME, THIS IS WAR!!! Our army, our GREAT ARMY… STOPPED, COME TO A DEAD HALT, BY FOUR SERGEANT BLUE-HARD IMPOSTORS, A CHILD (A CHILD!!!), MY OWN TRAITOROUS NEPHEW, AND ONE… PINT… sized…

(He has an epic giant smile on his face for a few seconds… before he lets out a loud shout while pictures and text flash behind him.)

Cerulio: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!! (pauses for breath) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (catches his breath again) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!! (faints)

Vannessa: Uh…

Max: Here, Your Blueness, some Nast-E medicine!

(He drops the meds into Cerulio’s open mouth, having him swallow. Immediately, Cerulio pops back up again.)

Cerulio: That’s it, that’s it, THAT’S IT! WE’RE GOING BACK!

Vannessa: Back?

Cerulio: OF COURSE WE’RE GOING BACK! These are blue alert conditions! Pepperland has yet to see my true wrath… (rubs his hands together)

(Scene changes to the group at Pepperland’s concert stage. Clef is playing chess with Jeremy, while the Beatles are talking with Charles.)

Clef: I can’t believe I’m losing to a gremlin.

Ringo: Are you sure?

Charles: Yes, the bunker’s at the edge of Pepperland.

John: If that’s where they’ve got the band, then that’s where we’re going.

Clef: Yeah, but we kinda need a plan for this. I mean, what if the Meanies come back?

Paul: He’s got a point.

(They all think for a moment. Unnoticed, a mechanical cockroach scurries towards them, controlled by Max, who is listening through it.)

John: Right, I’ve got it. This plan is foolproof.

George: No fool, that John.

Paul: Let’s hear it.

(Max pilots the roach closer. Clef, seeing it, takes his knight and uses it to squash the bug, resulting in a loud noise on the other end that knocks Max unconscious.)

John: We’ll have the others guard the sub, while we find the band.

Ringo: But who’ll guard the key?

John: (indicating Jeremy) Him, of course!

Jeremy: Me?

John: That’s right, Jer. And Coco’ll be on lookout.

(Unbeknownst to them, a Stormblueper is hiding nearby. On hearing this information, he quietly sneaks off.)

George: We’d better let the others in on this.

(Dissolve to the Rhapsody, its entrances covered in sheet music. Fred, Lord Mayor, Charles, and the Sonatas are seeing the Beatles, Clef and Princess Pepper off.)

Pepper: I’ll be fine, sir!

Lord Mayor: Very well, if you insist.

Fred: Good luck, lads and lass. And do be careful.

Paul: We promise, Old Fred.

(The first sextet head out, while the other sextet enter the submarine. Unseen, the Blue Meanies watch the rescuers go. They creep up to the sub. Their conversation is heard by its occupants.)

Fred: Shhh!

Stormblueper#1: I’m not sure about this…

Stormblueper#2: Quit yer whining, it’s not like they’re protected by…

Meanies: SHEET MUSIC!!!

Cerulio: Blast it!

Stormblueper: They didn’t mention this!

Cerulio: Try the other entrance! They couldn’t POSSIBLY have enough to block two…

Meanies: SHEET MUSIC!!!

Stormblueper#2: I can’t believe we didn’t prepare for this!

Stormblueper#1: Hang on, I’m gonna try and run through it!

Stormblueper#2: I don’t think that’s gonna work.

Stormblueper#1: Stop judging me ideas.

Meanies: Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! STOP!

(A loud WHAM is heard. The group jump back. Sounds of pain emanate from outside.)

Stormblueper#2: I told you!

(Tears form in Charles’ eyes.)

Dazz: Charles? What’s wrong?

Charles: It’s all my fault this is happening. I ran away.

Lord Mayor: Don’t blame yourself, Young Charles.

Cerulio: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Lord Mayor: Nothing is your fault.

Stormblueper: Stop ignoring us!!!!

Lord Mayor: No one is to blame, actually.

Stormblueper: Look out… (CRASH, Wilhelm Scream)

Lord Mayor: I admit, when you first came to Pepperland, even I had my reservations about letting a blue child stay here.

Cerulio: Don’t you DARE monologue over our attack!

Lord Mayor: But then, when you first listened to music…

Stormblueper: We’re threatening, we promise!

Lord Mayor: …and enjoyed it…

Cerulio: SHUT UP!

Lord Mayor: …I knew that this was where you truly belonged.

(Charles sniffles and smiles. Cut to Max running across the landscape to the other Meanies.)

Cerulio: Well?

Max: We’ve found the boob, Your Blueness! He’s in the town!

Cerulio: Splendid… Bring him to me.

Max: Ye-No, Your Blueness! Right away, your Blueness!

(Cut to Hearttown. Jeremy is skipping down the road, wearing the music note-shaped key on a string around his neck. In an alleyway, Max and two other Stormbluepers, lie in wait, disguised in trench coats.)

Stormblueper: Here he comes!

Max: Shh!

(Coco perches on a sign post.)

Coco: Alright, so far, so good… hm?

(She spots Jeremy as he passes the alley, then stops, catching something out of the corner of his eye. He looks, jumps in shock, and turns around to run, but a net flies out, capturing him.)

Stormblueper: Got ‘im!

Max: Get the key!

Coco: Oh, no, NO! (flies towards them) A BIRD’S GOTTA DO WHAT A BIRD’S GOTTA DOOOO!

(She attacks Max, flying into his face, beating him with her wings and scratching him with her feet.)

Max: AAHH! Get it off! Get it off of me! Get it off! Oh, dear Blue, GET IT OFF!

(One of the Stormbluepers pulls her off of him and throws her aside.)

Stormblueper: Right, let’s get out of here!

(They quickly make off with Jeremy.)

Jeremy: Coco! Coco!

Coco: Ugh… (shakes herself) I gotta tell the others! (flies off)

(Cut to part of a wire sticking out of the ground. Vannessa steps into frame and kneels down to inspect it.)

Vannessa: What the…

(Scene changes to the Beatles, Clef and Princess Pepper reaching the bunker. They enter and look around.)

Paul: So, this is the bunker, eh?

Clef: Yeah. Keep an eye out. The band’s around here somewhere.

(They search until Ringo almost passes a particular room. In the center is a familiar big blue ball.)

Ringo: What’s this, now?

(The others look.)

George: That’s a funny place to leave a goldfish bowl.

John: Here, all things are possible.

Paul: It’s not a goldfish bowl.

George: Just a big glass bowl, and-

Paul: Yeah, it’s blue glass.

Ringo: Must be from Kentucky.

(Paul knocks on the glass, and an image appears inside.)

John: Hey, there’s something inside.

(Princess Pepper gasps.)

Ringo: Four fellas.

George: What are they doing in there?

Paul: They’re not having a ball. That’s for sure.

Clef: Wait a sec, that’s who we’re here for! Look!

Ringo: It can’t be!

Paul: It’s us!

John: But we’re here.

Paul: It’s Sgt. Pepper’s

Ringo: -Lonely-

George: -Hearts Club

John: -Band.

George: The resemblance is truly striking.

Clef: I thought you guys looked familiar.

John: If I could come in here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein…

(Ringo holds his ears in a “Here we go again!” manner; George holds his nose in disgust.)

Paul: (singing) Any old Ein, Any old Ein, Any any any old Einstein…

John: (continuing uninterrupted) …could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personality, suspended as it were in time, frozen in space according to the now-famous theory of relativity…

(While he talks, the others beat against the glass, first with their fists, then with the various other objects in the room.)

George: John!

John: …which, briefly explained, is simply a matter of taking two eggs…

George: John!!

John: …beating lightly, adding a little salt and pepper according to the taste…

George: JOHN!!!

John: George?

George: How do we get them out?

John: Break the glass.

(The others shrug helplessly.)

Paul: We can’t.

George: It’s Beatle-proof.

John: Nothing is Beatle-proof.

Clef: I don’t think even your music could break through that.

Paul: Hey, have you got your drumsticks with yer? A drum break might shatter it!

Ringo: No, I haven’t.

George: Have a look in your pocket.

(Ringo reaches into his pocket, and pulls out the hole from earlier.)

Ringo: Hey, I’ve got a hole in me pocket! Here, I wonder if…

(He sticks the hole onto the ball, letting out smoke. The ball begins to dissolve.)

Clef: Whoa!

Ringo: Yeah, it still works.

George: Ringo, we take back all we said.

John: You’re a genius.

Paul: Sheer genius.

Ringo: I know, I know, I know. Like color telly.

John: Like crystal.

Paul: Hey, they’re decanting.

(Soon, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band are released. They and the Beatles look at each other.)

George: We’re the spittin’ image of each other!

Other George: Golly, yeah!

John: I’m led to believe that you’re an extension of my personality.

Other John: Yes. I’m your alter-ego, man.

John: Then I am the Ego Man, goo goo g’joob.

Clef: Well, now that we’ve found them, we should get going. Y’know, just in case any Meanies show up.

Pepper: Yeah!

(And what of the Meanies? Well, at their camp, they seem to be throwing some sort of victory party. Vannessa, coming across this scene, notices a group of Stormbluepers crowded around something. She pushes her way through.)

Vannessa: What’s going on here?

(Just then, she sees what they’ve been tormenting: The boob she tried to capture earlier, gagged.)

Vannessa: Wh-hey!

(She heads over to where Cerulio is.)

Vannessa: What’s going on? Why do you have the boob?

Cerulio: Well, simply put, he possessed the key to that submarine of theirs. And since he would not surrender it to us…

Vannessa: So you kidnapped him?

Cerulio: I would prefer the term “detained”. As for the rest, well, let’s just say that my bluepers are more than prepared for an ambush.

Vannessa: An am-? Look, that’s not what I came to talk to you about. There’s wires buried in the ground all over the land! What’s that all about?

Cerulio: Oh, M.E.G., my little blue angel, you see, I refuse to let any fool take away what I have. So, I’ve had the whole land set to explode. I’m not afraid to go down with the ship and take everyblue with me. But that’s if one of those rebels shows up. Or if someone in this army of mine is a rebel just like my nitwit nephew.

(Suddenly, a flare is fired up into the ether.)

Vannessa: What is that?

Cerulio: Nothing to worry about, I assure you. If a second flare follows, it means that my men have taken over the submarine. Now then…

(The Meanies, except Vannessa, listen hard. Then…

PHWEEEEEEE!

The Meanies cheer. Cut to Fred, the Lord Mayor and the Sonatas being thrown into the hold by the Stormbluepers. As soon as they’re locked in, Fred notices someone is missing.)

Fred: Charles? Where is he?

Jazz: He must have escaped!

Lord Mayor: Then he’s our last hope, now.

(Cut to Charles, having indeed escaped capture, hiding from the Stormbluepers outside the Rhapsody. He slowly creeps away, then runs. As he makes his escape, Coco flies into him.)

Coco: D’AH!

Charles: Coco?

Coco: Charlie? They got Jeremy!

Charles: They’ve got the others in the sub, too! C’mon, we’ve got to warn the Beatles and Clef!

Coco: Way ahead of ya!

(Cut back to The Meanie camp.)

Cerulio: So, what do you say, M.E.G.? You’re not one of those rebels I mentioned, are you?

(Vannessa, horrified, backs away slowly, then breaks into a run.)

Cerulio: Glove?

(The Glove, hearing its master’s call, hovers toward him.)

Cerulio: Ah, here you are, my little Glovey-Dovey! Go! Get thee hence and bring back M.E.G., for she has yet to understand the glory of being a Meanie.

(The Glove speeds off in the direction Vannessa went, as the blue bird, unseen by it and the Meanies, observes. Meanwhile…)

Pepperlander#1: How extraordinary!

Pepperlander#2: Perfect doubles of each other!

Pepperlander#3: Absolutely fantastic!

(The Pepperlanders are gawking at the resemblance between the Beatles and SPLHCB.)

Clef: Okay, everybody. Give the twins room to breathe. That’s it.

(Vannessa spots them from afar.)

Vannessa: The band! S-Should I…?

(As she thinks, the Glove looms up behind her menacingly. She doesn’t notice it until it lets out a roar upon seeing that the band is free.)

Vannessa: Dexter?!

(She ducks as the Glove flies over her. The Pepperlanders, hearing the roar, all turn to see it charging at them. They all scatter in a panic.)

Pepperlanders: The Glove! The Glove! THE GLOVE!

George: Glove?

(Then, inexplicably, the word “GLOVE” comes out of John’s mouth.)

Paul: He’s a clever lad, isn’t he?

Other John: Indeed.

Ringo: Open your mouth, love. It won’t hurt.

(He looks into John’s open mouth.)

Ringo: Gee, John, you haven’t half got a big mouth, haven’t you?

George: Forget the “G”. All You Need is Love!

John: Yeah!

SONG: All You Need is Love

Love, love, love Love, love, love Love, love, love

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game It’s easy

Nothing you can make that can’t be made No one you can save that can’t be saved Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time It’s easy

All you need is love, all you need is love All you need is love, love, love is all you need

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known Nothing you can see that isn’t shown There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be It’s easy

All you need is love, all you need is love All you need is love, love, love is all you need All you need is love (All together now) All you need is love (Everybody) All you need is love, love, love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need Love is all you need

Yesterday Oh yeah (She love you, yeah, yeah, yeah) (She love you, yeah, yeah, yeah)

(The Glove, overwhelmed by the lyrics John has summoned, flies off, defeated. Vannessa falls to her knees. The Pepperlanders cheer.)

John: Go Glove, lovely Glove!

Ringo: You took the words right out o’ me mouth, John.

(They spot a shocked Vannessa.)

Vannessa: I can’t believe it. I… I love music. I love music! I LOVE MUSIC! His Blueness will be so furious! (admiring some flowers) That’s okay, I mean, what he doesn’t know won’t kill him, right? (rocking back and forth) Oh my blue! This would kill him! (running around) THAT WAS SOOOOO COOOOOOOL! (head leaning against a tree) I… am a horrible Meanie. (rolling down a hill) Whoo-hoo! (face down in the grass) I am a despicable blue being! (swinging from a vine around a tree) BEST! DAY! EVER! (ends with herself sitting beside a rock, crying)

John: You know… Can’t help but notice you seem a little at war with yourself here.

Vannessa: (sniff) It’s worse than that. His Blueness doesn’t want anyblue in the army listening to music. He says it hurts blues. Even kills them. And I just got myself addicted…

Clef: So what?

Paul: It’s not a bad thing, really.

Other Paul: Quite the opposite.

Pepper: Why are you Meanies scared of music so much?

Vannessa: Why are you even asking? … Well, not all of us Blaumiesen are afraid. My father wanted to understand it. He would study sheet music, experiment with instruments… some of us called it an unhealthy obsession. He passed away before he could get any answers. That’s why I joined the army. To finish what he started.

John: I’d say you’ve done just that.

Vannessa: You think so? … But I disobeyed orders.

George: Then you can fight for our cause, instead.

Vannessa: Y-You mean… I could… switch sides?

Ringo: ‘Course. You’re better than you think you are. You even let me and Jeremy off the hook.

Vannessa: The boob…? Uh, there’s something you really should know…

(Just then, two voices interrupt.)

Charles: Clef!

Coco: Guys!

(They look to see Charles and Coco coming toward them.)

Coco: We’ve got some serious trouble on our hands!

Paul: What is it?

Ringo: What’s the matter?

Coco: The Meanies boobnapped Jeremy!

Ringo: Jeremy?!

Charles: They’ve also taken over the submarine! They’re waiting to ambush you when you get back!

John: And the others?

Charles: Locked up in the hold! I managed to get away…

John: Say no more. Right lads, time for a rescue!

Vannessa: I’ll get your friend back to you. You go save the others.

(Thus, the group head off in the direction of the sub, while Vannessa goes back the same way she came. Scene change to the Meanie’s camp. Jeremy, locked in a cage, is still gagged, only this time his hands are bound, and he’s wearing a ball-and-chain for good measure. A Meanie guards the cage, having fallen asleep on the job. Jeremy hears footsteps coming towards the cage, and tried to hide behind the ball. A shadow falls across him, and he lets out a muffled whimper when he sees who it is.)

Vannessa: Shhh! Don’t be scared. I’m here to free you.

(She takes the key from the sleeping guard *Wow, Meanies sure are heavy sleepers!* and unlocks the cage.)

Vannessa: Now, let’s get you out of here.

(Cut to the forest. Vannessa makes her way along the path, holding Jeremy by the hand.)

Jeremy: I very much appreciate the rescue, miss, but would you mind telling me why you are doing this?

Vannessa: I’m just doing my part to help drive the Meanies out of Pepperland, is all.

Jeremy: Forgive my next query, but are you not-

Vannessa: I‘m not. Not anymore.

(They stop in an area of bioluminescent plants and flowers. She lets go of his hand and pulls off her cap and mask, letting her long black hair down.)

Vannessa: In his life, my dad honestly believed that music should be embraced, but a lot of blues shunned him for that. But he was right. And he’s not the only one.

(She turns around and kneels to Jeremy’s height.)

Vannessa: Jeremy, I just want you and your friends to know: I’m tired of a life of static and noise. That’s why I want to help you guys, even if I get exiled because of that. You understand, right?

(Jeremy nods.)

Vannessa: Okay. (stands up) Now, I think we should head-

(Suddenly, there is a loud rustling noise. In another moment, the Blue Meanies burst out and surround the two. Jeremy clings to Vannessa in fear.)

Cerulio: Here you are, M.E.G.! Sneaking off on us, are you? And with the boob, no less. What a surprise! Surely, you were thinking of doing something much worse to him than what we were planning?

(Jeremy gulps.)

Vannessa: I wasn’t. And don’t call me “M.E.G.“.

Cerulio: Oh, come now. Is that any way to talk to your glorious leader?

Vannessa: You aren’t my leader anymore. I resign.

(Cerulio gasps dramatically, while the other Meanies shout in outrage.)

Vannessa: This army is insane! I’ve seen you do terrible things to these poor people, and all they did was play music and be happy!

Cerulio: Now, listen-

Vannessa: No, you listen! You’re wrong about music. And I won’t let you destroy it all!

(As she says this, she stomps on the discarded hat and mask. Cerulio and the Meanies are shocked.)

Cerulio: …You listened to music, didn’t you?

(The reaction from the Meanies is instant: Robin makes a gagging noise, sticking a finger in his open mouth, the Periwinkle twins, Lapis and Lazuli, huddle in fear, Shyaman whips out a gun and points it at Vannessa, and O’Dell makes a cross out of his index fingers.)

O’Dell: UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!!!

Harold the Stormblueper: THE BLUE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!

Cerulio: SHUT UP! (to Vannessa) Well?

Vannessa: …Yes, I did.

(The Blue Meanies shout in displeasure. Max even faints. In all the commotion, Cerulio roughly grabs Jeremy.)

Vannessa: DON’T YOU DARE!

(She grabs her weapon, preparing to fight the Meanies. Meanwhile, at the Rhapsody, the Beatles, SPLHCB, Clef, Charles, Coco and Princess Pepper sneak around the submarine.)

Ringo: How do we get them out of there?

Coco: This hatch leads to the hold, but it only opens from outside.

John: Open it, then.

(Coco, through the magic of Feather Fingers, opens the hatch. The prisoners perk up when they see the others.)

Coco: Cap’n!

Fred: Oh, Coco!

Charles: So, what do we do now? How do we make the Meanies go away?

(Clef thinks for a moment, then grins. A few minutes later, Ringo peeks up through the bottom hatch. The Meanies are still waiting for the group’s return, unaware of what’s happening outside. Ringo ducks back down.)

Ringo You sure this will work?

Clef: Oh, yeah. Music ain't the only thing they’re scared of.

(Charles, in pale blue makeup, rises up through the bottom hatch.)

Charles: Boogie, boogie, boogie. I am the spirit of Old Blue… (pauses, then whirls around) Boogie!

(Immediately, all of the Blue Meanies launch themselves out of the sub, screaming. When they’re all gone, the others enter the Rhapsody.)

Lord Mayor: Well done.

Clef: So, now what?

John: Now, we find the other two.

Fred: Right, weigh the anchor!

Paul: Forward!

(The submarine rises up and heads off in search of Vannessa and Jeremy. Speaking of which, we cut back to the outcome of the previous scene: Vannessa is being held back by two Stormbluepers, while Jeremy is in a cage again. Livius is cradling a blue skeleton, crying.)

Livius: Dead Dent’s dead! (sobs) Vannessa killed him! (cries even more hysterically)

Snapping Turk: But-he’s always been dead. That’s why he’s called Dead Dent.

(Livius stops crying.)

Livius: Oh. (drops the bones)

(Vannessa is dragged to her knees.)

Vannessa: Look, I told you, I don’t care if I’m banished!

Stormblueper#1: Who said anything about that?

Stormblueper#2: You know what the penalty is for disobeyin’ His Blueness, now do ya?

Vannessa: What, court-martial? Who’s the judge?

Cerulio: COURT IS NOW IN SESSION!

(And now, Vannessa realizes she’s screwed.)

Cerulio: Let the trial begin! Right! The charge before us is that the treacherous Vannessa, formerly known as “Monstrous M.E.G.”, did willingly, and with naughtiness aforethought, listen to and enjoy music.

Max: First witness!

Vannessa: Oh, c’mon, none of you were even there when it happened!

Cerulio: DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

(The first witness is Nilam the Stormblueper.)

Nilam: She’s guilty! You all saw it! She came at me with a bleedin’ chainsaw!

(He is ushered off, still shouting.)

Max: Next witness!

Vannessa: Can’t I at least have Jeremy to defend me? (Jeremy nods)

Cerulio: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SPEAKING?

(The next witness is Cobalt the Countdown Clown.)

Cobalt: I may not have hands, but I sure can point the finger at that wench! She’s a bad one, she is! The most despicable, heinous girl in Azulia! I said it before…

Cerulio: That’s enough! OFF WITH YOU!

(Cobalt is dragged away, still talking smack about Vannessa.)

Cobalt: …Foul, foul woman…

Max: Next witness!

(The last witness is… Cerulio himself.)

Vannessa: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD-

(Cerulio shoots her a glare.)

Max: Your Blueness, did you admit Vannessa into the army?

Cerulio: I did.

Max: And did she willingly betray you?

Cerulio: She did!

Max: Well, now we’re getting somewhere! Your Blueness, Can you see her anywhere in this court?

Cerulio: THERE SHE IS!!! THAT’S HER, THAT’S THE ONE!!! AYAYAYAYYAYI!!!

(He continues to go berserk until Frank the Stormblueper splashes him with a bucket of water.)

Cerulio: (calm) Thank you.

(He gets back in the judge’s place.)

Cerulio: And so it is the ruling of this court that you be found guilty for the crimes against us. I therefore have absolutely no hesitation in announcing that the sentence is: that you and the boob be taken from this place and fed to THE BEAST.

(The Meanies cheer as Vannessa and Jeremy look at each other in dread. Cut to them suspended from a tree at the edge of a high cliff above a gigantic cave. A pair of blue flamepits burn away at their ropes. Vannessa is hanging by her waist, while Jeremy is hanging by one leg.)

Vannessa: I just realized something: I hate drumheads.

Jeremy: Much as I dislike to admit it, my new friend, it seems as though this is the end.

Vannessa: You don’t have to be so obvious.

Jeremy: Vannessa…

Vannessa: Oh, Jeremy, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I got us both into this. I just might as well let myself fall… (hangs her head in shame)

Jeremy: Please don’t say things like that aloud. For your courage, your father would be very proud.

Vannessa: Wh-

(She looks up at him. He smiles.)

Vannessa: Jeremy…

(Just then, Vannessa’s rope snaps. She lets out a yell as she falls, but Jeremy grabs her by the hand.)

Vannessa: WHOA! Thanks, Jeremy!

(Jeremy is straining to keep his grip. Cut to the Meanies making their way through the forest.)

Cerulio: Come, fellow Meanies! Let’s take back our nation!

(The Rhapsody appears through the treeline.)

Max: Your Blueness, look! The submarine!

Meanies: What are they doing?/There’s no blue aboard…

Stormblueper: I-It’s the spirit of Old Blue!

Jack-The-Nipper: He’s coming to kill us!

(The Meanies turn tail and run away, screaming and knocking over the Apple Bonkers, who have no emotions and therefore can’t feel fear.)

Cerulio: COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARDS! DON’T LEAVE ME!

(Aboard the sub, the group, except for Coco, who is driving, come up onto the top deck.)

Clef: Look. It’s the gremlin and the girl.

Charles: Oh, no!

(John pulls out a telescope and looks through it at Vannessa and Jeremy.)

Ringo: Jeremy!

John: Head for those cliffs!

Fred: To the cliffs, Coco!

Coco: Aye, Cap’n!

Ringo: We’re going to need a net, too!

Clef: C’mon, Charlie!

(Up above, the rope holding Jeremy begins to fray in the fire’s heat.)

Vannessa: Aahh!

Jeremy: Oh dear…

(Back aboard the Rhapsody…)

Clef: Which button has the safety net?

Fred: That one!

(Clef presses it. A trampoline-like net extends out of the submarine.)

Ringo: We’re coming, Jeremy!

(The sub positions itself under the dangling two.)

Fred: Steady now, Coco!

(The rope is down to its last string. Vannessa and Jeremy look up fearfully. The rope finally snaps, and they fall. All on the deck except Ringo scatter, realizing that they’re not headed for the net. In another moment, THWACK! Vannessa, Jeremy still holding onto her, lands on Ringo, ending up on top of him. We then see the same scene from the earlier vision in the Sea of Time, except that the girl is no longer in silhouette. Ringo and Vannessa look at each other awkwardly before she moves off of him. Jeremy opens his eyes and, upon seeing that they are safe, hugs Ringo.)

Jeremy: Oh, Ringo!

Ringo: Jeremy.

Vannessa: (to the others) Don’t say a word.

Clef: What? Not even a thank you?

(Ringo and Vannessa both get up.)

Vannessa: Oh! Uh, thanks.

Clef: Eh, good enough.

(Suddenly, there is a loud growling from the mouth of the cave. The group whirl around to see two huge glowing eyes in the darkness. Jeremy hides behind Ringo. A giant sea serpent-like monster emerges, eyeing them hungrily. This is the Leviathan.)

Fred: All hands prepare to escape!

(Everybody quickly reenters the Rhapsody and leaps into action. The net retracted, the submarine speeds off. Inside, the group look out the windows.)

Vannessa: Did… Did we…?

(Coco lets out a scream. The Leviathan has followed the sub, and is now RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. The Rhapsody shakes violently and tilts, knocking everyone off balance. Cut to the reason why: The monster has wrapped its sinuous body around the submarine.)

Clef: Now what?!

Razz: Even if we did escape, we can’t go back to Pepperland without it following us there!

Coco: There’s gotta be something we can do!

(As they’re talking, Vannessa thinks to herself. Getting an idea, she heads for the bottom hatch.)

Ringo: What are you doing?

Vannessa: Making up for past mistakes.

(Before anyone can stop her, she jumps out of the sub, landing on the ground below. The Leviathan takes notice as she runs off, and chases after her, releasing the Rhapsody.)

George: Clever girl. She’s distracting it!

John: Well, men, she saved us. Now it’s time we saved her.

(The other Beatles and SPLHCB nod. Vannessa ducks and dodges the beast as it make repeated attempts to eat her, until she finally comes to a dead end. She turns around to face the Leviathan as it comes toward her. She closes her eyes, expecting her death, but then music reaches her ears. She opens her eyes to find herself face to face with the monster, who turns around to investigate the strange sound. The Beatles and Sgt. Pepper’s Band are on the top deck of the approaching Rhapsody, playing their instruments. The Leviathan makes a confused noise.)

SONG: Strawberry Fields Forever

Let me take you down ‘Cause I’m going to Strawberry Fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry Fields forever

Living is easy with eyes closed Misunderstanding all you see It’s getting hard to be someone But it all works out It doesn’t matter much to me

Let me take you down 'Cause I’m going to Strawberry Fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry Fields forever

No one I think is in my tree I mean it must be high or low That is you can’t, you know, tune in But it’s all right That is, I think, it’s not too bad

Let me take you down 'Cause I’m going to Strawberry Fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry Fields forever

Always, no, sometimes think it’s me But you know I know when it’s a dream I think, er, no, I mean, er, yes But it’s all wrong That is I think I disagree

Let me take you down 'Cause I’m going to Strawberry Fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry Fields forever Strawberry Fields forever Strawberry Fields forever

(When the song ends, the Leviathan is tamed and fast asleep. Vannessa runs over to them.)

Vannessa: (panting) Oh… Oh, wow… That-that was… Thanks.

(The two bands smile at her.)

Fred: (from inside the submarine) All right, let’s make haste! There are Meanies to defeat, after all.

(Cut to the Blue Meanies charging across the landscape. The sub arrives just as the Pepperlanders are preparing themselves for musical battle.)

George: There’s a war on, here.

John: Then brothers in war, to the skirmish. Must we ‘ence?

Other John: Shall we 'ence?

Paul: Let’s not waste anymore time sitting on the 'ence. BEATLES TO BATTLE! CHAAAARGE!

(Ringo blows a fanfare on his trumpet. They then proceed to courageously leap into the fray… and are chased by the Meanies.)

Ringo: AHH! The battle’s come to the Beatles!

(One Stormblueper brings along a bulldog.)

John: We’re surrounded.

Ringo: Nice dog, though.

(As the Beatles and SPLHCB confuse the dog, cometh another song.)

SONG: Hey Bulldog

Sheepdog, standing in the rain Bullfrog, doing it again Some kind of happiness is Measured out in miles What makes you think you’re Something special when you smile

Childlike no one understands Jackknife in your sweaty hands Some kind of innocence is Measured out in years You don’t know what it’s like To listen to your fears

You can talk to me You can talk to me You can talk to me If you’re lonely, you can talk to me

Big man (yeah) walking in the park Wigwam frightened of the dark Some kind of solitude is Measured out in you You think you know me, but you haven’t got a clue

You can talk to me You can talk to me You can talk to me If you’re lonely, you can talk to me

Hey hey

Roar

Hey, bulldog (hey bulldog)

Woof

Hey, bulldog Hey, bulldog Hey, bulldog

Hey man

Whats up brother?

Roof

What do ya say

I say, roof

You know any more?

Ah ah (you got it, that’s it, you had it) That’s it man, wo ho, that’s it, you got it

Woah

Look at me man, I only had ten children

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha Quiet, quiet (ok) Quiet Hey, bulldog, hey bulldog

Paul: Look! Reinforcements!

John: That’s what we need. Sgt. Pepper, reinforce our music!

(And so, the final battle begins as the Pepperlanders, with the Beatles and Sgt. Pepper’s Band playing, advance.)

Cerulio: DO SOMETHING!

(Max lies down on his belly and plays dead. Frank the Stormblueper throws up his hands.)

Frank the Stormblueper: That’s it! That does it! I’m OFF! I’m done, ya hear?! I’ve had enough! I’m going back to bed! (leaves)

Cerulio: GET BACK HERE, YOU SPINELESS TWIT!

(The Pepperlanders begin to fight back against the Meanies. Cerulio whips out his pistol, points and shoots… but a flower pops out. He throws it to the ground, grabs a machine gun from the nearest Stormblueper, and opens fire, but even more flowers come out of the barrel.)

Cerulio: IT’S NO USE! THE BULLETS ARE JUST BURSTING INTO BLOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(He then throws the gun to the ground and begins to strangle the Meanie he got it from. Meanwhile, as we see a Pepperlander playing a marching band drum and kicking a Meanie while goosestepping, Clef, Charles, Princess Pepper, Jeremy and Vannessa all jump down from the Rhapsody.)

Pepper: GERONIMO!

(They land and join the battle. A bunch of Meanies rush toward Clef and Charles, who make a run for it, but are cornered. Thinking quick, Clef grabs a large flower, cocks it like a shotgun and points it at their adversaries.)

Clef: All right, nobluey move! This thing’s loaded. I’ll let ya have it!

(The Meanies scream girlishly and retreat, while Clef twirls the flower. Cobalt runs up to Vannessa and kicks her. Her response is to take out a didgeridoo. Cobalt takes one look, then tears like heck across the battlefield, Vannessa chasing after him. A Stormblueper and a Pepperlander run towards each other, as if about to fight. The Pepperlander suddenly turns tail and flees, while the Stormblueper skids to a stop. The Meanie stops in front of a big Pepperlander who squashes him between his cymbals. A commentator watches from the sidelines.)

Commentator: Oh my GOD, this is exciting! Pepperland is on a roll, while the Meanies… (Cut to a traumatized Stormblueper on the ground in a fetal position, sucking his thumb.) Well, they’re not having much luck, there.

(Princess Pepper is confronted by a group of Meanies, one of whom has a rapier. Meanwhile, a group of Pepperlanders, led by the Lord Mayor, roll in a cannon and light the fuse. Instead of a cannonball, a cluster of music notes shoot out and blast the Meanies, sending them flying with a bowling pin sound effect.)

Lord Mayor: Wonderful!

(A crowd of Pepperlanders scatter as Shyaman drives a blue battletank onto the battlefield. He sees a discarded triangle.)

Shyaman: Ha HA! Do you really think that will stop ME?

(He attempts to run over it, but as soon as the wheel touches the instrument, BOOM! The tank explodes, leaving him sitting in a scorched crater, singed and still holding the controls. He coughs up a smoke ring. The triangle is untouched. Aboard the submarine, Coco searches for one particular button.)

Coco: This has gotta be the amplifiers!

(She presses the button. Immediately, the sub shoots upwards, leaving Coco behind. She watches as it vanishes into the etherium.)

Coco: (sheepishly) Maybe not.

(Back with Clef, Charles and Jeremy…)

Clef: Quick, put your book on fisticuffs to work!

Jeremy: Ah, yes! My tome on pugilism! It comes in most handy! The results, just dandy!

(Jeremy takes out a fighting handbook and runs up to a Stormblueper.)

Jeremy: Hello, Blue Meanio! If I may… Ahem! Left to the nostril, right uppercut, right to the eyebrow, left to the gut!

(He throws a punch, but ends up missing and running into an apple tree.)

Stormblueper: Nice try!

(The apple comes loose and falls, hitting the Stormblueper on the head and knocking him out. Ringo runs to Jeremy’s aid.)

Ringo: Jeremy!

(Jeremy looks at the unconscious Meanie and smiles. He jumps to his feet.)

Jeremy: Come on, Ringo! (skips off confidently)

Blue Meanie: RUN AWAY!

Blue Meanies: RUN AWAY!/Run!/ HAAAALLLLPP!!!

(The Blue Meanies are finally forced into a retreat as the Pepperlanders cheer in victory. Cerulio tries to rally them back into battle.)

Cerulio: Get back! GET BACK! Once more unto the breach, dear Meanies! You’re advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards, you FOOLS!!! Get back there NOW!!! I’m not losing this nation-

(He is run over by a herd of frightened Meanies. After they’ve passed, he breaks down crying.)

Cerulio: (sobs) My kingdom for a horse! (wails)

(Who should come across Cerulio but Jeremy, who stops once he sees the miserable prince. Cerulio stops once he sees Jeremy, then dons a Slasher Smile.)

Cerulio: I think I’ll tear him up into little pieces.

Jeremy: Oh, he does, doesn’t he?

Cerulio: I think I’ll make a blue burger out of him.

Jeremy: Ha-ha, I don’t care what you think!

(Just as Jeremy is about to throw another punch, he is grabbed by Cerulio, who holds him up by the tail.)

Cerulio: Oh, you don’t, eh? We’ll soon see about that!

(Vannessa, seeing this, runs over and tries to pry Jeremy free of Cerulio’s clutches.)

Vannessa: Leave him alone, you big bully!!!

(Cerulio just snarls and throws her aside before attempting to punch Jeremy. However, the boob grabs onto the Blaumiesen’s leg.)

Jeremy: He does in truth seem quite annoyed. Some reference material, be-be-before I’m destroyed!

Cerulio: ENOUGH POETRY! I’m going to blue-pencil you, FOREVER!!!

(He succeeds in pulling Jeremy off of himself, holding him by the scruff of his neck. Jeremy reads from “1001 Ways to Defeat a Meanie”.)

Jeremy: Where ground is soft most often grows… Arise! Arise! Arouse, a rose!

(He pokes the tip of Cerulio’s nose, and in an instant, a pink rose pops up on the spot.)

Jeremy: Ah, a rosy nose??

(Cerulio, enraged, throws him to the ground.)

Cerulio: SPEAK YOUR LAST PIECE!!!

Jeremy: Piece, Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom. (dodges Cerulio as he pounces) Turn off what is sour. Turn into a flower and bloom, bloom, BLOOM!

(So saying, Jeremy pokes the screaming Cerulio here, there, everywhere. Wherever he touches, pink roses pop up, until finally…)

Cerulio: CAAAAARRNAAAAAAATIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNS!!!

(…Cerulio is covered with flowers. He lets out a final scream upon seeing himself.)

Ringo: First time I saw that Nowhere Man… That nobody, I knew he was somebody.

John: You’re right.

Cerulio: NOT SO FAST! (holds up a detonator) Need I remind you that there are BOMBS under this land?! (The Pepperlanders look terrified.)

Vannessa: Actually, I disconnected them before I rescued Jeremy. You push that thing and nothing happens. (The Pepperlanders are relieved.)

Cerulio: …I don’t believe you! Once I push this, we’ll all get blown TO KINGDOM COME!

(There is a dead silence. The Beatles are not really worried at all.)

Cerulio: Very well. For the honor and glory of all of WATERBLOO!

(He pushes the button on the device. Max cringes. After a few seconds, still nothing has happened. Max cracks open one eye and looks around. Cerulio looks worried.)

Cerulio: (weakly) Ka-boooooom!

(He breaks down again. The Pepperlanders cheer.)

Lord Mayor: They’re beaten! They won’t violate our land ever again!

(Suddenly, a familiar voice rings out.)

Rita: There’s been a violation here! I’m taking Old Fred to court for desertion!

Fred: Aw, Rita, I was coming back to you!

Rita: I don’t mean deserting me, Old Fred. I mean deserting that!

(She gestures to the towed Rhapsody.)

Lord Mayor: Holy crescendo! Our national monument! How can we get it back?

Rita: Pay the fine. I want Old Fred’s hand.

Lord Mayor: Right or left?

Rita: Both, in marriage.

Coco: Well, dang!

Fred: That fine’s fine with me!

(The couple turn to leave.)

Fred: Ta-ta, Lord Mayor!

Lord Mayor: Wait, Young Fred! You’ve got to conduct the victory concert! Who else could lead it?

(The Beatles come over.)

Paul: What happened to Old Fred?

Lord Mayor: I had to trade him for a yellow submarine.

Ringo: Somebody got swindled.

George: It’s back and look at Rita’s meter!

(The meter says “LOVE”.)

Lord Mayor: What a mess. Who could possibly lead the concert now?

(Cut to Clef onstage.)

Clef: Aw man, am I gonna make this introduction. Ladies and gentlemen…

(A little man dressed in brown and pink, and wearing a hat saying “OLD BOOB”, steps onstage next to him.)

Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo…

Clef: Wh-JEREMY?

Jeremy: Yes?

Clef: You can do that, too? Why didn’t you tell me?

Jeremy: You didn’t ask!

Clef: …Anyway! Ladies and gentlemen, playing alongside Sgt. Pepper, direct from somewhere else, where they are absolutely something else, we’d like to present our four guest soloists: our friends! Take it away, guys!

(The audience cheers, and with Jeremy conducting, two bands begin to play.)

SONG: Yellow Submarine

In the town where I was born Lived a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life In the land of submarines So we sailed up to the sun Till we found a sea of green And we lived beneath the waves In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all aboard Many more of them live next door And the band begins to play

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

(Full speed ahead Mr. Boatswain, full speed ahead Full speed ahead it is, Sergeant. Cut the cable, drop the cable Aye, Sir, aye Captain, captain)

As we live a life of ease Every one of us has all we need Sky of blue and sea of green In our yellow submarine

(The audience applauses as the song finishes, and the Beatles, SPLHCB and Jeremy take a bow. Suddenly, a blue boot takes a loud step onstage: It’s Cerulio. Still covered in roses, he stomps onto the stage, and faces the audience…)

Cerulio: BLAST YOU AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Max runs onstage.)

Max: Your Blueness! Please, get a grip! (Cerulio grabs him by the neck) Ack! Good grip…

(Cerulio throws Max aside, then jumps down.)

Cerulio: Do you have any idea how we Meanies have suffered because of you?! Do you ever think of that? Of course not! You’re all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to play music on, aren’t you? Well, let me tell you something: this is exactly how an infestation starts! A swarm of insects with nothing better to do than to cause trouble! Well, I’ve had enough! I’ve had it! I could have had my own nation, and you had to ruin everything! It’s YOUR FAULT! ALL OF YOU!

Clef: Hey, you started it!

Cerulio: I NEVER!

Clef: Yeah, you did, you invaded Pepperland.

Pepperlander#1: You’ve no right to blame us. You could have let your poor nephew and this land be, but instead you chose to attack.

Pepperlander#2: You’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

Cerulio: Oh, now you’re beginning to sound like my foolish cousin! My ignorant, preachy, POOR excuse for a Blaumiesen-She’s right behind me, isn’t she?

(The blue bird who’s been watching them the entire time flies down from a nearby tree. As soon as the bird touches the ground, a bright light shines forth. When it subsides, the Pepperlanders and Cerulio see that the “animal” has become a beautiful birdlike humanoid. This is Blue Jay Way.)

Lord Mayor: The Blue Bird of Happiness!

Blue Jay Way: Hello, cousin.

Cerulio: (nervously) H-Hello! We were just talking about you! All good things…

Blue Jay Way: That’s not what I heard.

Cerulio: (gulps) IT WAS HIS FAULT! (points to Charles) The music-

Blue Jay Way: It was never meant to harm you.

Cerulio: …Come again?!

Blue Jay Way: Think back. When has music ever slain a Blaumiesen?

(The Blue Meanies think about this for a moment.)

Max: Since… uh…

Blue Jay Way: Exactly.

Vannessa: So, then… Dad was right!

(The Meanies exclaim in shock, while Cerulio falls to his knees.)

Cerulio: What are we going to do, now…?

John: Hello, blue people!

Cerulio: WH-

John: Won’t you join us? Combine, hook up, and otherwise commingle! What do you say?

Cerulio: Max?

Max: Your Bloom-er…

Cerulio: It’s no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

Max: Argentina?

John: Are you with us? Will you join?

Vannessa: Yeah. Whatever you wanted before, it doesn’t even exist.

Cerulio: Shall we?

Max: …No!

(Cerulio makes a very angry noise and grabs Max by the ears.)

Max: I- I mean, YES!

Cerulio: (mollified) Yeeeesss, Max.

Jeremy: Yes! Ah, Yes is a word with a glorious ring, a true, universal, euphonious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues. The very best word for the whole world to use!

(Coco flies up, carrying a colorful document.)

Coco: Sign this, first?

(Cerulio signs the document.)

Ringo: What’s that?

Other Ringo: The Rainbow Declaration of Peace, of course!

Vannessa: You know, I think I know what to do for the future.

Paul: What’s that?

Vannessa: I’m going to sing for the band.

Paul: Well then, let’s sing!

(An enormous party commences.)

Narrator: And on that day, as the hearts and minds of the Meanies were forever changed, did love triumph over hate in Pepperland?

Did happiness replace fear, and did truth lead to freedom?

The answer, of course, is…

(Cut to everybody celebrating in front of the sculpture of “YES”.)

SONG: It’s All Too Much

It’s all too much, it’s all too much

When I look into your eyes, your love is there for me And the more I go inside, the more there is to see

It’s all too much for me to take The love that’s shining all around you Everywhere, it’s what you make For us to take, it’s all too much

Floating down the stream of time, of life to life with me Makes no difference where you are or where you’d like to be

It’s all too much for me to take The love that’s shining all around here All the world’s a birthday cake So take a piece but not too much

Set me on a silver sun, for I know that I’m free Show me that I’m everywhere, and get me home for tea

It’s all too much for me to see A love that’s shining all around here The more I am, the less I know And what I do is all too much

It’s all too much for me to take The love that’s shining all around you Everywhere, it’s what you make For us to take, it’s all too much

It’s too much, it’s too much

Too much, too much, too much

Narrator: Long live Pepperland.

But there are other Pepperlands to be found.

Here, there, everywhere.

Listen-and when you hear:

Pepperlanders: Lovely day, isn’t it?/Be my guest./May I help you?/Let’s not argue…

Narrator: You’ll know you’ve found one.

Please remember.

For every Pepperland you encounter-

You can also be sure there are Meanies in the vicinity.

Oh, they may not be blue. Orange, green, purple-

Whatever their color, they despise friendship, love, music.

And they’ll do whatever they can to stamp them out.

They have got to be held back.

Who will protect your own private Pepperland?

Only you can say that.

(Jeremy is dancing in the flower fields, when a newcomer arrives: a female gremlin with pink skin, and blue ears and tail. This “Nowhere Woman” walks up to Jeremy and, after a few tender moments, kisses him. After the kiss, Jeremy looks at the camera and winks. Iris out, and cue the ending credits.)

SONG: Good Day Sunshine

Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine. I need to laugh, and when the sun is out I’ve got something I can laugh about, I feel good, in a special way. I’m in love and it’s a sunny day. Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine. We take a walk, the sun is shining down, Burns my feet as they touch the ground. Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine. And then we lie, beneath a shady tree, I love her and she’s loving me. She feels good, she knows she’s looking fine. I’m so proud to know that she is mine. Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine. Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine, Good day sunshine.

SONG: The Word

Say the word and you’ll be free Say the word and be like me Say the word I’m thinking of Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine It’s the word, love

In the beginning I misunderstood But now I’ve got it, the word is good

Spread the word and you’ll be free Spread the word and be like me Spread the word I’m thinking of Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine It’s the word, love

Every where I go I hear it said In the good and bad books that I have read

Say the word and you’ll be free Say the word and be like me Say the word I’m thinking of Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine It’s the word, love

Now that I know what I feel must be right I’m here to show everybody the light

Give the word a chance to say That the word is just the way It’s the word I’m thinking of And the only word is love

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine It’s the word, love

Say the word love Say the word love Say the word love Say the word love

(After the credits, there is static, which fades to reveal the cast.)

John: We have a serious announcement. Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted within the vicinity of this theatre. There’s only one way to go out.

All of the characters: SINGING!

The End

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