so. YESTERDAY.
1. woke up in time to shower before walking to church
2. here's the thing. the church i've been going to? next town over. even i cannot walk that far. so i decided to check out one of the churches in town
3. there are... several. i honestly did not expect that many
4. what the heck, i've never been to a nazarene church before, let's see what they've got going on, it's one service
5. start walking, get distracted by a sign for an art fair. the temptation is real. maybe after church i'll go check it out. i can fit in something fun before grocery shopping and picking up my medication
6. it's a thirty minute walk. i'm not even halfway there and have to turn on my data to look at the map. getting hot. this sucks
7. look up. i'm right next to a different church. according to google, this one has a female pastor. i rejected this one earlier for that reason. the 'can women be pastors' thing is not something i've really researched for myself but i have read the verses and idk, seemed pretty clear cut that the answer is no. on the other hand, i'm right on time for the service, and do i want to do this right now?
8. fk it. i'll miss more than half the service at the other church by the time i get there. if it sucks i'll hit the bricks
9. two old people are thrilled to see me. i am gifted a bulletin and a nametag
10. the sanctuary is more than half empty, most heads that are present are grey, and there is no sign of technology except for the dude up front wearing a mic. there is no apparatus for streaming online, no tvs to display lyrics, no soundbooth or even the person in charge of making the mic work. i have absolutely nothing against those things, but it's kinda nice tbh
11. the pastor is def a guy and they just moved their service from 10:45 to 10:30, so i've missed a lot of this service too. but i didn't miss the sermon, so whatever, fine, this is just my life today i guess
12. HYMNS. they do HYMNS here. i am instantly pacified that they didn't update their sign outside with the new time
13. don't get me wrong i LOVE contemporary Christian music okay, i have a playlist that's stupid long, great stuff, makes me think, makes me cry, all that
14. but HYMNS!!!!! from a HYMNAL!!!!! how i've missed them. i can hear some people harmonizing. this is the Good Shit
15. the bulletin says that after the service they're having a baptism and picnic at the lake. i'm trying to be more... social *gagging noise* so... maybe... i'll go... but only if someone invites me
16. service is over. hey who's that. i recognize her face. shit. what's her name and where the hell have i seen her
17. fk it. approach. "hey! i recognize your face but can't for the life of me remember your name or where we met 😅"
18. her name is vicki and i met her at my previous job *more gagging noises* but she only worked there once in a while. thus i don't have to feel guilty at not knowing her immediately. phew
19. she has a baby! her baby is cute, of course. coo over baby appropriately
20. while cooing over baby, someone else approaches. her name is marnie. i barely play sdv but it's enough that i don't think i'll forget her name very soon
21. marnie: are you going to the baptism?
me: i don't have a car
her: oh, i can drive you there and back if you want
guess i'm going!
22. her: do you want to stop by your house and get some shorts?
me: i don't own any shorts
her: ... your swimsuit?
me: i don't have one of those either
her: ...okay
23. she has to pick up something at her house first. she offers to lend me something lighter than jeans 🥺 i turn her down, bc i'm just. used to wearing jeans everywhere, but i appreciate the offer
24. the beach we go to is lovely. it's part of a camp that a bunch of churches in the area use. the water itself is probably freezing (the lake doesn't really warm up, a familiar refrain to someone who grew up right next to lake michigan lol) but the area is nicely shaded (it is hot in the sun)
25. the picnic food is good. i talk a little with the people at the table i sit at. it's... fine. there are a few conversations going at once, which i find distracting and unpleasant (my brain struggles with what i'm supposed to be paying attention to)
26. it's time for the baptism!
pastor, quietly: how do you guys do this here?
me, very amused: idk man, this is my first day attending this church
pastor: what, really?? okay, stick around after this, i wanna talk to you
me: okay
27. the guy getting baptized cries during his testimony, we pray for him, he gets dunked, we cheer and applaud, we pray for him again, he lets a few people take pictures and then cannonballs off the end of the pier into the lake to more cheers and applause
28. some people leave. the pastor's wife asks if i want to go kayaking. i think i've gone kayaking once? i say yes anyway. fk it, i'm already stepping out and i don't feel like killing anyone at this picnic or myself yet
29. obvs both the pastor and his wife are in high demand so it takes a while but eventually we start hauling out the kayaks
30. marnie, who works at the camp, is very conscientious that everyone has an emergency whistle and is wearing a life jacket that is appropriately sized. she also lends me and the pastor's wife hats. marnie is the best, i think
31. the water is crystal clear and the weather is about perfect. marnie suggests we head for a slightly shallower part of the lake, where there are lily pads
32. the youngest member of our party, a teenager, capsizes on the way. we all come together to tow her and her kayak to shore. the pastor's wife uses her emergency whistle to tie the swamped kayak to the guy towing it. i wrangle the teen's paddle and point out that the person who offered to tow the teen doesn't have anything for her to hold onto but that someone else does, and they switch accordingly. the extra water is dumped out on shore. the teen is checked on and encouraged. we all head back out onto the lake
33. the pastor talks to me for almost the entire trip. it's nice bc he tells me that if i don't want to answer any of his questions i can just tell him to back off, but honestly i like talking about myself 😅. i realize that the person his voice reminds me of is ted danson and it is made abundantly clear to me why he has a mic in the otherwise electronics-less church: his voice is fairly quiet and barely carries (which are separate things, fight me)
34. amongst other things i talk about mom. when do i not tell people about mom. i mention how the night she died i had the feeling that i wasn't going to see her again, so before the paramedics left with her i had a chance to say goodbye and give her a kiss. he describes this as the gift of... discernment, i think? anyway i want to talk this down a bit, bc when do i not talk down any gifts i might have, but the more i think about it the more instances come to mind. huh. i will need to think more on this
35. we see the lily pads and a few lily buds, hang around for a little bit just talking, and then head back. we arrive back at camp without incident, put up the kayaks, and go our separate ways
36. except marnie has a thing to do first, do i mind, no i don't, repeat about three times, lol. but i really don't mind, i have tomorrow off also to do what i need to, and the things she needs to do are a. all for the camp, which has kids who just arrived and b. the kind of tasks i find completely non-stressful, like refilling napkins and hand soap. i am introduced to her boss. we leave eventually, each with a plateful of brownies
37. we talk the whole way. i am once again asked questions about myself and i am once again more than happy to do so. i should probably shut up occasionally. 🙄🤐 she drops me off but not before asking for my number
38. i have neither done my grocery shopping nor picked up my medication. fk. guess i'm doing that tomorrow
39. go inside, take dog out back to play with her. one of the other dogs also wants to play. thankfully there are two balls, so i kinda just juggle between them. neither dog seems to mind
40. another roommate shows up with his new dog: the tiniest puppy 😭 so small! one and a half hands big! and i got to hold her 😍💞🥰 reminded me of my dog when we first got her 😭😭 i miss her... 😭😭😭
41. did my laundry. turned on my laptop and only made it through one of my yt rec'd videos before realizing i was falling asleep. reluctantly decided to do the right thing and just. go to bed
42. fell asleep almost instantly and finally slept well. so all i need to do is wake up early, eat no breakfast, walk to church, go to a new place, talk to people i don't know, go kayaking, play with two dogs, do a big load of laundry, and then i'll sleep well. glad to find out it's as simple as that 🙄
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