#a good thing in an email is not as good as the same thing out of an email | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gideonisms · 1 year

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See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier!#i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse!#but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

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elegyofthemoon · 3 months

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ahh i'm,,, so happy that i got some job offers already !! ;; v ;; theres two currently and im waiting to hear from one place and then theres one more interview tomorrow (which. i really dont wanna do), but i'm really happy that two worked out!! i just... wouldnt know what to decide on😔

#avil speaks #i needed to clear out my emails and saw the offers in there and i was like :o oh shit good job me AKDSJAFLKH #tbh if i did the job interview tomorrow and got it id probably hate myself more asdkljfahldkjh #(its medical and im trying So hard to avoid any medical work anymore bc ive had Enough)#the awful thing is that they all pay the same anyhow so im like well. i wouldnt be losing anything lmao #im entering my clown era and just doing Fuck All

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anotherpapercut · 6 months

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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package

#fun story #i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it #and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently #before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive #so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs #and being on the phone at work for a while lmao #i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another #the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read #so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the address‚ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end #yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall #and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it #and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER #so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirt‚ 2 kiki sign things‚ a sweater‚ and a pair of pants for $40 #and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price #so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.

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alchemiclee · 13 days

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I really hate when people say this. if I dont record, I cant "enjoy it in the moment" because I dissociate out of my damn mind and then have no memory of it! recording helps ground me and keep me focused in the moment! let me do what I need to in order to enjoy things you soggy potato 😭

plus, as a photographer/aspiring videographer who hasn't had the luck to become friends with bands and work with them, IM DOING A THING I ENJOY AS WELL, SO SHUT UP LMAO. I enjoy doing video and photos MORE than standing in a crowded, overwhelming room watching people do stuff on a stage. THATS LIYERALLY ME LIVING IN THE MOMENT DOING A THING I ENJOY!!!!! WHY IS THAT WRONG?!

#this isn't @ this person directly but is @ ALL the hundreds of people i've seen/heard say this same shit and ones that said it to me #directly 😭 i'm glad you can “live in the moment” and have good memory but i'm not like you so stop complaining!!!#lee rants #memory issues #dissociating #does anyone else have this issue and get really annoyed when people throw a fit over your struggling coping mechanisms #THAT ARE NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS #this is one reason ive become a photographer #ive tried for over 10 years to figure out how to do concert shoots fir photo and video because its fun. let me do what i need and enjoy #i went to a concert i have no memory of since i didnt take out my phone once. wanted tk try this “live in the moment” thing #only know i went to it because i saw the email receipt for the tickets. so living in the moment really was just that moment and its gone now #IM SURE thats not the case for everyone and they can relive it by seeing it all in their heads whenever they want. lucky 🙄#photographer #tag that too because any photographers like taking videos snd photos at concerts more than watching the concert???????#its more fun idk. so why do people complain about it 🙄#and ive seen the argument if “it blocks peoples views” but i personally and very aware of people around me and will try to #be seated at the edges or get to the barricade and where i can keep my phone close to me (preferably under my chin) so that aint me lmao

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the-physicality · 2 months

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Sorry did I say Boston is going to 3 pride nights? I meant 4

#pwhl New York did not advertise theirs on social which is a choice #considering it’s at the prudential center #on April 20 but this leads me to believe #that pwhl Montreal also has one and is simply not advertising it #once again I just hope that it’s not on April 20 #for obvious reasons #ny advertised it to their email list so maybe Montreal did the same thing #if you are reading this and on their email list please do let me know #I mean maybe they see it as something to sell tickets (okay…) and they’re already sold out #I still think they should post #speaking of the pwhl coming back did we see that Dempsey is in a wrist cast?#not a fan of that #also someone has two fingers in a splint which I don’t love #it’s in the survivor video #so my question is what is the pwhl Montreal injuries situation like #I assume they’re getting Melodie daoust to sign another 10 day which will cover 4 of the 5 games #simply because she is very good #I also want to see the Stacey poulin daoust top line again #remember the days?#[deleted some tags bc my Apple Watch has a functional battery again]

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truecorvid · 1 month

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i didn't think the leopards would eat my face!!!!!!!!!!!! (all of my professors cancelling classes in solidarity with the student union strike)

#teeth.txt #*through gritted teeth* solidarity. forever.#to be clear i do think this is a good thing i just didn't expect it and i like going to my classes despite how much i bitch abt it #so i'm just a lil sad.#but also maybe this will just get admin to respond faster #they sent out some thinly veiled panic emails this morning #anyways i think this is me being a little cosmically punished because guess what happened four years ago #during the last semester of my senior year of high school #actually i think maybe that's part of why i'm maybe more affected/upset than i would otherwise be. lol. lmao even #welp. guess i'll go ahead and stand on the picket lines since i actually don't have anything else to do now #also when i say 'all my professors' i mean two bc two of my classes are being taught by the same prof #double also allegedly she's just uh. 'sick' but i'm pretty sure she just doesn't want to say it's a solidarity thing #bc the faculty union members are technically not supposed to do those #and then my other prof is a visiting professor so i think he might not be a part of the union or just doesn't care bc he was like #yup strikes on. no class tomorrow gang #welp. gonna go write some angry emails to admin

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guinevereslancelot · 2 months

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i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice #and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me #and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also #and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then #and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬#but now i really wish i'd taken that interview #i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday #so i wont literally have to take time off for it #and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early #either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something #but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol #but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no #compared to a few months later #they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good #idkkk #my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break #the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate #but i literally dont care its such a better working environment #and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months #and the work will be so much easier #and the commute #and i Definitely know i can work with my friend #vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly #anyway!!#im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now #but i really hope they give me another chance #also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol #this has been a shitpost

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arthur-r · 9 months

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falling asleep worked i did it for three hours. now what i’m still tired i just also wasted the day and looked stupid to my roommate….

#like im glad i slept but also. same problems as before #although my french teacher emailed me back said i should go to office hours. which is a proper response to my email #wikipedia guy texted me back with details like an hour after i texted but also like two or three hours ago #gonna settle the score by bringing a $20 bill tomorrow then i won’t feel so weird and guilty #but no i feel so fucking stupid and gross for like. i was crying so close to my roommate so i had to fall asleep #or else i’d be standing up with tears in my eyes next to my roommate which is worse #but i just. i dont know. like he thinks i’m just lazy. i’m always asleep i never tell him why #i dont know. good morning i hope everyone is doing well #there are two people i usually get dinner with and one is out of town and the other i think his parents are here and also things are weird #translation things aren’t weird i’m just weird and feel guilty for being such a weird person #anyway i just. college?? what am i doing here????#i talked to my mom this morning she says that she felt the same way during college and that she should have dropped out way earlier #which. not helpful?? what do i do after i drop out?? i am someone who can’t hold a normal part time job and my only HOPE is ending up being #i mean anything really just something that requires a lot of prior experience!!#and the college is paying me really good to go to school but only if i stay full time #so i cant just lower my course load because that will actually make everything worse instead of better #idk. going to french teachers office hours tomorrow and will figure out time for linguistics teacher too and will get my LIS grade back up #(that one is just simple that one is i missed two discussion posts but there are ten more to come and also tests and stuff. i’ll be ok)#idk. and i still want to go to my LIS teachers office hours and ask how he became professor of rare books print culture and information bias #that is a good set of things to be a scholar for. and he’s curating collections at the same time as being my teacher #so idk. professors don’t seem as stupid and uppity as they used to. and i think i want to do that someday #plus with the salary jump from librarian i can feasibly become a major donor to local libraries to keep that influence around shdhdf #(although. if i get paid by the school (!!) to get a phd in print culture who says i don’t become a fancy librarian with that??)#i dont know. this is so stupid because i get so excited about the prospects and then i go back to the present and i’m flunking out of school #my grades haven’t been this bad since the height of COVID i thought something about me had gotten better but apparently not #like literally who went and made me traumatized?? why did you have to do that?? now i can’t be a normal person?? shut up!!!!#idk. just feel like if i weren’t having panic attacks about the fact that people are safe and kind here (and therefore must be hiding their #true intentions and taking advantage of me) then maybe i would have remembered to take my french test #idk. i’m tired and want to go home. sorry for venting all day i hope everyone is doing okay #vent cw

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steampoweredskeleton · 8 months

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My physio wants me to go outside and walk every day. I feel like I should have warned her that the likelihood of me having that kind of energy is incredibly small, and even if it's there, that energy needs to go towards shit like cooking before trips outside

#delete later #it makes me feel lazy sometimes that i hsve so little energy but at thr same time i know that its not my fault #trying to keep a good level of functioning in terms of self care like eating and washing and chores is already really difficult #whilst working full time. i may have the energy for every other day after the flat inspection. tonight i need to reserve energy for #tidying and shit before that. im so tired i legitimately had to fitce myself not to lie down earlier bc i knew I wouldn't be getting back u #idk what the fuck is wrong with me but this is how ive been since i was like 11/#12 and had to lie down after school #i also keep teetering on the edge of a real freak out. ive been switched to probrct management again so im doing a bunch #of emailing abd communicating and checking. most of which doesnt have concrete answers and relies on understanding #whst ppl are trying to say in their survey responses. which i rly rly struggle with. and on top of that several things #have changed this week at work ahd its impacted my workload sbd responsibilities a lot so im trying to breathe theough it #but im incredibly frustrated and stressed and overwhelmed and having to spend at least a couple hours under weighted blanket each day #most ofbthe tine i dont require the weighted blanket its just nice. i require it right now. frustrating

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pepprs · 1 year

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i think i need to go back to br*ghton and get my phd there im going to be SICK

#when i was there in 2020 a new centre had just opened at my host uni and i follow them on ig and i just saw the codirector do an intro post #AND WHY ARE WE LITERALY THE SAME PERSON AND WHY AM I LOOKING UP THE PHD PROGRAM SHE RUNS IN… WHATS IT CALLED…#ART AND CREATIVE PRACTICE????? I. AM. GOING. TO. BE. SICK. the way my heart is pounding and my stomach is flip flopping rn. omw to write her #an email and see if we can talk I DONT EVEN WANT A PHD BUT I DONT BUT I DO BUT I DONT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME #purrs #and they have conferences in FUCKING BRGIGHTON ABT WRTMAKING AND COMMUNITY BUILDING AKA THE EXACT THING IWANT TO DO. just say the word i #Will SWAN DIVE across the fucking pond right NEOW. good god help me. naur bc why are the opportunities for that kind of thing here so few an #and far between BUT I WAS THERE AND THIS WAS ALL HAPPENING AROUND ME AND I DIDNT EBEN KNOW IT FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!#naur the way i am meant to be there and jsut stifling my true self probably just so i won’t r[redacted out of embarrassment]. LIKE HELP #<- ok well im not meant to be there im just um. 🤡. but i am thinking about it. i am Really thinking about it #also omg no bc what if i email this lady and she asks to see my research and i literally gave up halfway bc i was having a mental breakdown😭

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collecting--stardust · 10 months

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Update: I got the green light from my parents (not without a bit of guilt trip which is understandable by my mom) but idk if it's worth it or not but I'm too egoist to back out now

#to anyone who have watched red white and royal blue my life right now is like henry and alex meeting with the king after the email leak #when my mom said shes willing to pay more money as long as she knows that my safety is more secured by taking the more expensive day flight #i immediately say 'why?' even though ik the answer and i immediately thought of henry's 'why must we protect the royal image?' line #i can feel my parents disappointment but i have never tried something like this before so it does feel freeing too #fyi my siblings never said no and we all just listen to what my parents asked us to do #the first time i ever act out is by refusing to appeal to go to the foundation in the same uni as my twin #so this decision causes things to be a bit tense between us and im a bit guilty over it but i think its time for to try new things on my own #i hope everything will go smoothly and my exam results that will come out in about 8 hours will be good enough #may tomorrow be a better day #personal.txt

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autisticlee · 11 months

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I hate when people who want to "help" me are only doing it to make themsleves happy or comfortable and not me.

when people are basically like "how dare you not take my advice and do what I told you! dont dismiss me and what I say! I don't care if it doesn't work for you/make you happy/makes things harder for you, it makes me feel good when you do what I say and listen to me!"

i've had friends like this. one more recently from an ex friend group who straight up told me I was dismissing her for not even "trying" to do what she says, despite me saying I tried it previously and it didn't work. she always got upset at me if I had any problems with her advice and it didn't work. telling me i'm lazy and dismissive and giving up and making her feel bad because she's "just trying to help"

if you want to help someone, you have to make then happy, not yourself. meet their needs and work out the roadblocks that get in the way. dont call them dismissive for not taking your advice when YOURE dismissive of their needs and struggles. it's not about you of you're "juat trying to help" and especially of you claim you care about the person.

#lee rambles #dont know what to tag this #the ex friend who most recently said this to me was also the same one who claimed to be autistic as a gotcha moment #to be dismissive of my struggles with being autistic because she can do thjngs easily so that means i should 🙄#she really is good at projecting. being dismissive of me and claiming im dismissive. gaslighting me and saying i am instead #idk what her issue was but she seemed to take out her issues on me??? after she kicked the one she liked least from thr group #who she previously projected her issues onto it seems like she moved to me until i was basically booted from the group through ghosting #and getting uninvited from the group trip for no reason. and she cant even talk to me herself. she sends our other friend to do it #one who i believe didn't actually have an issue with me but she still chose the manipulative one over me so i have issue with her #and they stole my pther friend from me and turned her against me #so i just left and gave up #screw them!!!!!#oops tags got super off topic um ignore these................#lee rants #i did manage to actually find a therapist that takes my insurance though so i cam discuss these things with her #so the more i write about them the easier i will be to collect them when i need to email them to her once we get there

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beeseverywhen · 1 year

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Finally sent the email (only took me a month)

Emails really offer a snapshot of all that is wrong with modern life.

In history books I expect there to be a paragraph at the end of our chapter explaining 'why were they like that' and its just a little summary saying 'ok so they had these things called emails'

#to be clear i don't think it's emails themselves that fucked us #emails are not a bad idea! many things are made easier by the existence of emails #HOWEVER #while a harmless concept i think that emails were themselves very vulnerable to the rot that runs through our society #its about the constant advertising. its about having to wade through it to find what's important.#it's about my government communicating with me in the same place as someone trying to sell me a new hat & also the person trying to scam me #it's about how the hat man is only there to sell me hats because i welcomed him in for a 10% discount.#i sold 24/7 access to myself for a convenience! for nothing! and it seemed reasonable at the time. it will seem reasonable next time #where do i wade through bureaucracy more often than my inbox???#and then... its that emails are there all of the time. they didn't use to be. we made them so. they didn't have to be.#every day i walk about society with a pocket full of letters. their constant weight only serves to increase the time it takes you to reply?#with an email there is no urgency there is all the urgency #(we've all worked with someone who marks everything as urgent. no Andrew. this isn't urgent & you didnt need to send it to the whole team)#its about a workload which nobody will ever admit is unmanageable and yet which you are never supposed to see an end of #it's about the intimate distance. the personal remoteness of it all #it's about the world being filled with beauty but none of that reaching emails. emails serve to wash out the joy.#a good thing in an email is not as good as the same thing out of an email #nothing is real #the number of unread messages means nothing here. none of it means anything. it's all washed out

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tortademaracuya · 1 year

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... :)

#about to rant so ignore me #but like #okay. i have gotten over my assigned professor being changed. its okay. if she says this is better i trust her decision #and the forgetting to tell me and my new professor not having understood he had to read my stuff now is just an unfortunate accident #it happens. im unlucky like that i should be used to it #but now i still havent gotten even a single 'read' or whatever like they do with all my other classmates #if i go to class tomorrow just to find out no one still hasnt read what i have been working on for the last 5 weeks im #im going to explode #i already feel like shit for not meeting my self imposed goals #and its not like they could forget i have had no revisions BECAUSE I REMINDED THEM AGAIN TO PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT ON THE EMAIL I SENT #im just. so desmotivated #im already having the shittiest fucking weeks. maybe months. trying to get myself to work and do stuff #and this makes me feel like im that forgettable or that im gonna get hit with a 'change EVERYTHING' in the worst last possible moment #im so tired my intentions are good please someone for the love of god remember IM HEREEEEEEE #nothing is enjoyable i have no energy i just want to sleep everyday!!!!!!! i feel like im a burden and a bore to anyone!!!!!!!#im not wanted anywhere!!!!!! im fucking painted in here!!!!!#i have begun to talk about stuff unrelated to what i was originally saying 🙃 but oh well #its too much too many things all at the same time #i just want one fucking time where im not forgotten by literally everyone and made feel like a last fucking choice i want good things!!!!!#and im so tired of coming to terms with me never being anything to anyone just for someone to come and make me think maybe im wrong #just for everything to go to shit again!!!!!!!#i want to scream and take space and say how mad i am no more fucking 'dont worry its okay' 'sorry' no fuck off!!!!!!! SCREAM!!!!!#haunted.txt

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vote2 · 1 year

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Things have gotten worse since we last spoke was so mid lmfao.

#putting aside that its a gay man writing abt two lesbians w one of them being obsessed w getting pregnant and having a kid. like moving #that aside. why did ppl hype this up as a good gross out short story in a found media format. lol #uhm. yeah she ate a maggot infested piece of steak. okay. both of the characters write their emails in the same boring #bleak trying to be poetic ways too also it takes place in 2000 and zero emoticons used??#uhm. also same exact voice half the time if you didnt look for who sent it then they sound like the same person. lol #anywayyyyssss pass on reading its only like an hour read but still lol.#its so rushed too like the mommy dom character (seriously -_-) is like ohhh no ive made you do too many terrible things and pushed you #and shes done like 3 things. lol #whateverrrt 1.5 stars because uhm the cover and title are nice 👍

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mishapen-dear · 2 years

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one of the loveliest things about posting fic on ao3 is getting to see one person leave kudos on multiple stories like. hello stranger ;^; im glad you liked my writing enough to read more of my writing

#it’s why i havent turned off the kudo email notifs yet #and tbh one of the things that keeps me from looking at Numbers because number are frivlous and dependant on trend/day/chance #but fuckin. more than one person who wants to read more of the words ive written? v special #idk there’s something v humanizing about that #it makes me think about a dm i got a long time ago #someone who wanted to copy/paste my fic into their minecraft library #a) that would have been just one set of numbers #but holy shit. they wanted to take some of my words and put it in their game #b) if that world wasnt deleted then that little book with my inexperienced baby writer words is still out there #like i dont delete my works because i am Heartbroken when other people delete theirs #but. something about the act of preserverence also being an act of love #(<- good horror concept right there)#and its just one person. one number. and an entire saved copy of my work #i forgot about that until today is the craziest thing #hm i thibk i should go to bed #but no yeah someone choosing to read more than one of my stories and make it all the way thru to leave kudos feels exactly the same way as #getting asked by some kid to send them my fic in their dms so they could put it in their library

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