#a little cold yesterday but nothing too unusual

[macncheesenibblers]

Hi guys I think I had/have serotonin syndrome today and yesterday. Started a new drug for el fibro

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 2 — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 27.5k

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. shirtless jk in almost every scene ijbol he needs to get locked up, jk thigh tattoo 😔 a dash of sexual themes (ie: making out, grinding) and violence, this is pretty much MED SCHOOL LORE GALORE bcs boy, was there so much history mentioned here, 3/4 of this is in jk pov, so ladies.... prepare yourselves 🤔so much fluff, and we counter that with not major but not minor either ANGST, so many conversations and dialogues in this one lol, this hopefully offers every answer youre looking for from part one, when ur done reading the chapter this is how the keyring looks like

NOTES hi!! this chapter was supposed to be longer but i was like.. fuck that 😭 its getting too long. anyway. hope u guys enjoy this one!! this is my most favorite thing ive ever written i think n im weirdly very proud of this one idk. scream into my inbox and the reply section if u have #thoughtss 😄😄 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]

[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]

PART ONE | TWO | THREE

You take your sweet time trying to right your wrongs.

After that day, you were the one to initiate a call with Mingyu which he answered thankfully (you were a little skeptical about him calling you that night). You went over to his place after your shift, apologizing to him for lying about your roommate situation. Admittedly, Mingyu still doesn’t seem to be wholly okay with it – but he doesn’t really say anything more about it. He kissed you better that night, his lips making you forget all about the stress that you’ve went through for the day, convincing you to stay over.

The night bled into two when he said he couldn’t let you go. Mingyu was persistent and you were unwilling to go in the first place. Partly because who didn’t want to spend more time with their significant other? But it’s also because of a certain someone that is no other than Jeon Jungkook.

Those two nights are going on four – which means that you’ve been avoiding Jungkook for the past three days now.

It doesn’t seem like a difficult task though because Jungkook seems to be doing the same. That was your hunch. He replies to you with dry-ass “okay”s when you text him about not going home because you’re staying at Mingyu’s. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Which is unusual of him. Sure, in your almost decade-long friendship, you’ve fought a bunch of times. But it usually gets resolved in a day or two. And Jungkook wasn’t ever cold like he is right now.

See, the regular Jungkook would find you anywhere on your floor at the hospital just to annoy you. When your time allows it, you eat together with your friends at lunch.

But now, he seems to always have something to do – which, okay, fair. He’s a surgeon, after all. But he doesn’t even spare you a glance whenever you two meet halfway in the hallways. Yesterday, you coincidentally scrubbed in together for the same surgery but he did not say a word to you other than, “Scalpel”.

The rest of your friends are already asking about it. Doyeon told you he had lunch with Jungkook this afternoon, but when she mentioned that maybe you were free to go with them, Jungkook suddenly had to look over a patient’s chart.

It’s not just a hunch anymore. He really is avoiding you.

And to be honest, you’re tired of the whole pussyfooting around. He’s being childish – and you’ll be the better person to come and talk to him about it. Granted, you’re three days late. But at least you’re doing it.

You texted Mingyu earlier this afternoon that you’re coming home to your apartment tonight. He was bummed about it, you could feel it through his message, nonetheless he replied saying he’ll miss you, which put a smile to your tired face from work.

When you went home from your shift at 9pm, Jungkook wasn’t anywhere in the house. Which was a shame – because you were planning to talk to him.

Well. Maybe you’d wait for him.

But it seemed like you underestimated your exhaustion for the day because as soon you finished showering, dressing yourself with your bed clothes which consists of comfortable flimsy camisole and panty shorts, you went straight to bed and passed out – forgetting about Jungkook.

It’s past 2 am when you feel yourself waking up from your deep slumber, stomach grumbling at the emptiness, and you realize you did not only forget about waiting for Jungkook but also about eating dinner.

Walking out of your room, you head straight to the kitchen where you immediately go to open the refrigerator to see if there’s something in it you can consume. There are boxes of Chinese food take-out which makes your eyes light up. When you open to smell them, it seems that they’re still new.

You deduce it must be Jungkook’s.

That gives you the predicament of whether you should eat it or not. You take you’re not exactly on good terms as of the moment – therefore you can’t eat his food. But you’re really hungry.

Throwing away your inhibitions, you open one of the boxes, not even bothering to heat the food.

“Hey,”

You almost jump upon hearing another voice. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook approaching, with only his boxers on, upper half naked.  

“H-hey,” you say, pursing your lips into a thin line. “Are these yours?” You point to the take-out box in your hand.

Jungkook nods and heads straight to your direction. Taking one of the boxes, he hauls himself to the kitchen island, twisting his body so that he can face you.

“Yep.” he responds, dipping his fingers inside the box and taking out strands of noodles from it.

You wince at the sight. “Look like worms.”

“Just like worms.” Jungkook grins, chewing on them in that obnoxious way because he knows you don’t like noisy eaters.

Frowning, you decide to follow him to the island and haul yourself on top of it as well, sitting beside him. Jungkook scoots to the side to give you more room.

“It’s kind of like eating naengmyeon, I don’t like naengmyeon.” You tell him, opening another box and feeling delighted to see untouched stir-fried rice. “Did you just buy this earlier?”

Jungkook nods. “Left them in the fridge when I realized I wasn’t too hungry.”

“Then you woke up feeling hungry?” You smile at him.

He chuckles. “Yeah. When did you get off work?”

“Nine. You?”

“Twelve am.”

You grimace at that, but nod in understanding.

There’s a beat of silence before Jungkook speaks up again.

“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

“Just wanted to remind you I’m still your housemate…” you joke, brushing your elbow against his arm in a teasing manner.

Jungkook laughs as he shakes his head. He picks up another batch of noodles in his fingers and then offers it to you, prompting you to arch your brow at him. “Try it.”

You shake your head. “I hate cold noodles.”

“Just try,” He insists, placing it closer to your face. You scrunch your nose, skeptical. It makes Jungkook chuckle lowly. “Head back.”

Hesitantly, you tilt your head back and open your mouth as Jungkook puts the noodles inside it. You almost choke on it when Jungkook laughs mid-way, making you laugh as well, but thankfully, you were able to chew all of them just fine.

“What the fuck.” You frown, slapping his arm good-naturedly.

“Wasn’t so bad, huh?”

“It was bad.” You say, going back to eating your fried rice. Jungkook gives you a look that says he’s not convinced. Looking at his face, you roll your eyes, “It’s like eating–” you stop mid-sentence as Jungkook quickly wipes off something on the side of your lips. It’s so quick though that you brush it off just as instantly and continue, “—literal worms.”

“Imagine if worms tasted like noodles. Wouldn’t that be sick as hell?” Jungkook muses, stretching his arm over you to reach for another take-out box on the counter. It’s so sudden that your immediate reflex was to stretch your upper body backwards, feeling a little taken aback when Jungkook’s face gets a little too close to your stomach, with his arm rubbing over your bare thighs.

He seems like it doesn’t move him, though. Just goes back to his position casually and opens another box. As he does, you can’t help but take a quick look at his bulging thighs, the short length of his boxers letting you get a brief view of the tattoo that peeks out of the expanse of his skin. You’ve seen that before many times, but not the entirety – of course not. It looks like it goes up from way above. Anyway, it’s sort of like a flower, but you’re not sure. You never really asked him about it. He never brings it up either.

“Oh, man, the dumplings got cold.” Jungkook picks inside his box as if he’d miraculously find one that’s not cold.

You roll your eyes at his antics. “You stored them in the fridge for like how many hours now?”

Ignoring you, Jungkook takes out one dumpling, trying to eat it, and you watch as he visibly winces. In a moment, he shoots one straight to the trash bin across from you.

“Oh, that’s real mature.” You say dryly.

With that, Jungkook throws another one, giving you a cheeky grin when it lands in the bin successfully for the second time.

Pursing your lips, you sarcastically say, “Wow. Two points to Xavier from Jeon Jungkook.”

That makes Jungkook look at you instantly.

“How the hell do you know that?” He gives you a look of confusion but there’s amusement written all over his face at the same time.

“Well… Mingyu told me you both played for the basketball varsity team back in undergrad, so,”

Jungkook stops. There’s look of something in his eyes that you can’t quite point out, but then suddenly, he nods.

“He told you how good I was?” He says with a teasing tone, a contrast to his sudden and quick drop of mood a few seconds ago.

You throw him a tissue. “Don’t be cocky. He just mentioned it.”

“I was captain. Two-time MOP, 2018 and 2019 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.”

You look at him with silent reverence. Well, Mingyu didn’t tell you all that, that’s for sure. It’s a bit surreal to picture Jungkook wearing a basketball uniform, though. You’re so used to seeing him in scrubs and lab gown and his usual casual, occasionally suits when you attend formal conferences. You’ve only ever seen him sweat it out whenever he works out in the living room.

“Impressive.” You say. Jungkook grins proudly. “It’s strange I only know about it now, though.”

“You never asked.” He shrugs. “What ‘bout you? I only know you’re little miss summa cum laude.”

Huffing, you jab at his arm when he mentions it, rolling your eyes at him which only earns you a chuckle. Regardless, you tell him, “2018 NCA College Nationals. We won Coed Division One.”

Jungkook arches a brow. “NCA… National Cheerleading Association?” You nod, eating from your take-out box so as to avoid Jungkook’s look after you do so.

“No fucking way,” He says incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much. You never really get to share this part about you with a lot of people. To quote Jungkook, they never ask. It’s funny when they do get surprised by it though, like he is now. When Jungkook stares at you – you don’t know if it’s just in disbelief – longer than necessary, you realize he’s staring at your face and that makes you consciously fix a strand of hair behind your ear. “Go big blue, go big blue, show ‘em what wildcats can do.” You sing a in fast tempo, chuckling about how silly it sounds.

Jungkook utters a sound of amusement. “That’s… wow. Right now, I’m just picturing you cheering but it’s a bit hazy and shit.”

“You’re saying you can’t picture me cheering?” You playfully accuse, but you know exactly what he meant. Even you still don’t believe that you actually did cheer in undergrad. When you signed up for it, it was just because you had to choose a club, and you weren’t interested in anything other than that. You thought cheering would be fun and it was fun.

“No, I’m just—” Jungkook cuts himself off and looks at you. “Okay, now I totally deserve a cheer for that two-point shot I made just now.”

You laugh loudly at that. Covering your mouth, you look at him to see if he’s joking but he seems to be serious.

“No.” You say, your eyes widening, body stiffening.

“Come on,” Jungkook chuckles.

You roll your eyes. “You have to do more than a two-point shot to get a cheer.”

“Okay, what do you want me to do?” Jungkook eagerly presents a challange. You stifle a laugh when he gears up for something. “I can shoot dumplings further from here with my left hand.”

“Ten feet away,” You muse, giggling when Jungkook suddenly gets off the counter, carrying the box of dumplings, and positions himself further away from you. Laughing, you shake your head before you say, “You can’t do it.”

“Try me.” He says as he begins to pick out a dumpling and concentrate on the trash can. Before he shoots, he tells you, “This one’s for you.”

You watch as the dumpling misses the bin.

Jungkook beats you to speaking first. “I admit. I’m a bit rusty.”

Sneering, you eat your fried rice, not straying your eyes from him. “You have to shoot, like, three dumplings.”

“That was a trial shot.” he insists, eyeing you playfully, before he gears up for another again. You watch closely when he makes a move to shoot another dumpling.

It goes in. Jungkook smirks at you when you look at him, impressed.

“Not bad.” You cock your head to the side.

“Tss.” He shoots another shot again and it’s successful for the second time. “That’s two.” Jungkook shows you his fingers and you chuckle at his enthusiasm.

“Let’s see if you can get the third.”

Jungkook nods, and you cover a snicker again at the way his stance suddenly turns serious, as if he’s really taking the whole thing seriously.

In a few seconds, he shoots the last dumpling straight to the bin just as successfully as the last time.

“What did I say?” Jungkook brags as he goes over to the island across from you, sitting on the high chairs this time. You turn your body to look at him, containing your smile. “Your turn now.” Jungkook says with a smirk.

Your purse your lips. “I’m a bit rusty.”

“So was I!” Jungkook claims which prompts a chuckle from you.

You look at him for a while, unsure. You close your eyes, bobbing your head side to side, covering your face as you suddenly feel a sense of embarrassment at the thought of dancing in front of him.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” You say after Jungkook tries to remove your hands off your face.

He raises his right hand and fixes his sitting posture upright. “Promise.”

“If you show your teeth I’ll stop and so will this friendship.” You threaten as you bring your legs over the island to his direction.

Jungkook chuckles while saying a series of “Yeah”s, holding your hand to help you hop off the counter safely.

You take a few quick strides to place yourself in the space between your counter and dining area and look at Jungkook who settles himself comfortably in the kitchen island chair, watching you with relaxed position and crossed arms.

Feeling uncharacteristically shy, you stand upright, suddenly aware that you’re only wearing a pair of panty shorts and a fitted camisole. You don’t work out so you’re a bit conscious in front of Jungkook who looks really good in his natural form. You don’t even understand how he finds time to go to the gym or do his little work-out sesh during some nights or weekends, but you shake away the thought and smile at him coyly. He has the better body, sure, but you know well enough he’ll never judge you for yours… besides, it’s just Jungkook. He makes you feel safe and secure, no matter the context of the situation.

Off the top of your head, you do whatever it is you remember from your college routines and begin your yell.

“Wildcats, get up and shout! We’re the team that’s gonna take it out! Give it all you’ve got, let’s hear you roar!” You chuckle mid-way, forgetting a step. “Sorry,” you apologize quickly, but then continue right away, trapping your bottom lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from completely losing it. “We’re the Wildcats, and we’re here to score! Go Big Blue! Go Big Blue—" You make a mistake again and skip a beat with your finger snaps, and when you look at Jungkook, you can’t help but give in to the laughter that’s been bubbling up inside you. “I can’t do it!” You say, cutting your “performance” short.

“What? It was good!” Jungkook says, encouraging you to continue further.

You stifle a laugh as you go back to the top again but then your mind forgets the next step and you’re messing up the choreography again. At that point, you start mindlessly cheering; jumping around and flapping your arms to make it look like somewhat of a cheer but none of the coordination. You know it looks messy, so you run over to Jungkook shamefully, plopping on the chair beside him. Bringing your legs up to the seat and covering your face in your thighs, you can’t help but giggle in embarrassment.

“Woah,” Jungkook says, but you can say there’s a hint of laughter in his tone. You know it’s not out of mockery when he lifts your head up and boop your nose. “That was cute. Best cheer I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re pushing it.” You hiss, kicking his knee slightly.

Jungkook captures your leg, and you squeal when he pinches your thigh. You both laugh at that and you thought Jungkook’s gonna let go of your leg but he keeps it on his lap.

“My stomach hurts from laughing.” You tell him, taking a deep breath, trying to regulate your heart. Everything feels funny. Your cheer was funny. You must’ve looked so stupid.

Jungkook chuckles. “Wildcats, get up and shout—”

“Jungkook!” You cut him off, removing your leg from his lap to kick him again on the thigh this time. That only prompts him to laugh louder.

When the high of the moment fades, Jungkook looks over at you.

“Do you feel sleepy?”

You shake your head. “Not really. At least not yet.”

He hums, and then takes your box of fried rice to eat from it.

There’s the silence again, but it’s quiet and comfortable. No weird tension sitting in the air.

“Jungkook,” You call him after a while.

“Hm.”

You clear your throat. “I meant to talk to you,” Jungkook stops eating and looks at you to acknowledge you. “I’m sorry.”

He stares at you for a moment. Then, he chuckles, shaking his head. “You know what’s funny? I was gonna talk to you yesterday to say I’m sorry but then you didn’t talk to me at all in the OR. I thought you were still mad at me.”

With furrowed brows, you tell him, “I thought you were mad at me. You only said “scalpel” in the OR and then that was it. No hi’s or hello’s in the hallways for the past three days.”

“Me? Mad at you?” He says, as if he can’t believe you would even think that. “I mean, you piss me off sometimes, but I don’t think I was ever mad at you.” You pout. Jungkook smiles. “I can never be mad at you,” His look is gentle and warm that you feel a little flustered for a reason unknown. It just ticks a little something in your brain, tugging something at your heart. Then, Jungkook sighs. “I’m sorry, too. For the way I went about it. The “bringing boys here” comment was out of line.”

There’s a wince on your face when you hear that.

That comment did hurt a little.

But you know it was just a heat-in-the-moment type of thing, and he just wasn’t able to think through his words well enough when he was… well, pissed – and rightfully so. Because you did something offensive to him, and you can’t blame him for feeling the way he felt.

You nod at Jungkook. “Thank you for saying that. I’m saying sorry because I realized what you said. I should’ve informed you I was bringing Mingyu home, and I should’ve told him about you being my roommate. We really could’ve avoided that situation.”

“You can just tell me beforehand if you’re bringing him to our place.” Jungkook shrugs.

You chuckle. “No. That won’t happen again.” And it’s true. It’s awkward and it’s rude when you have a roommate.

Jungkook looks at you. “Okay. I won’t do it as well,” You shake your head, playfully rolling your eyes at him. “I’m guessing you settled it pretty quickly with him?” He gestures at your neck and you realize he’s referring to the necklace you’re wearing – the one Mingyu gave you the very same day you fought.

You want to point out it’s not really new, but you settle with, “Yeah. Fortunately.” as a response.

“I really am sorry for what happened.” Jungkook says and you can feel the sincerity in his voice.

“It’s fine,” Touching his arm, you give him a small smile. “Have you and Mingyu talked?”

Jungkook shakes his head. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you think about how that’s… not good. They were friends before you and have just met each other again after so many years – you do not want to be that kind of person who gets in the way of some other people’s relationship.

And you really can’t have Jungkook not liking your boyfriend or your boyfriend not liking Jungkook, either.

But as much as you want to suggest that they talk it out, you know you can’t. Besides, you trust that they eventually will. They’re grown men.

“So…” you trail off. “Are we okay?”

Jungkook’s lips tilt upwards. “Are we okay?”

“Come on,” you roll your eyes. “Do we hug it out or like – I don’t know – handshake on it?”

“Let’s hug it out like we’re twelve.” Jungkook grins and in a moment, he scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

The angle is a bit awkward with Jungkook crouching too much you don’t doubt his position is anything but comfortable, but it works, and it gives you the opportunity to pat his head as you say, “I missed hanging out with you, buddy.”

“Can’t say the same thing.”

That earns him a slight pinch to the ear easily accessible to you.

“Ow!” Jungkook says and then add, “I hate to ruin the moment but… you’re not wearing a bra.”

You quickly grab both sides of his head to get him off your chest. He comes back sitting upright on his chair, laughing.

“Fuck off—” you flip him off and then look over your box of fried rice, but then you remember he was also eating it earlier. “You ate all of it!”

“Finders keepers.”

“I hate you.”

“Hm.”

You shake your head, standing up and starting to grab all the boxes to take them to the trash bin.

“By the way, I just got my approval from HR for our trip the next two weeks. Have you?” You ask him across the room. You can see Jungkook’s face light up at the mention.

“Yeah, of course. Got approved yesterday.” Jungkook grins. You watch as he stares at you a bit longer, his face showing a hint of confusion.

You arch a brow. “Why does your face look like that?” Jungkook shakes his head, obviously ready to dismiss it. But you’re persistent. “What is it?” You say, walking towards his direction and stopping in front of him.

“Nothing…” he trails off. Then he rubs the back of his head. “I just really thought that you…” You squint your eyes at him. Then he chuckles lightly and swipes his fingers through his hair. “I just thought the trip would be cancelled.”

Your eyebrows furrow. Frowning, you nudge at him. “What? Of course, not! We planned that trip like six months ago. I’m not backing out.”

Jungkook gives you a shy smile.

“Okay.”

You can’t help it. You bring your hands to his cheeks and pinch them.

“He’s so excited for his birthday trip!” You say, intentionally talking like you would to a toddler.

Jungkook predictably forces your hands out of his skin and holds your wrist a bit tight as he rolls his eyes at you.

“Knock it off.” He glares at you. But you’re not done with your fun, so you poke your finger to his waist, knowing that’s his weak spot, and tease him some more. “Seriously.” Jungkook huffs out and your laughter becomes louder because he looks like a grumpy child right now.

“Sorry.” you say, still giggling. He furrows his brows, and you can’t help it, you poke at his waist again. When you do it, though, Jungkook captures your wrist, effectively stopping another one of your juvenile assaults. Suddenly, you start noting the mirth in his eyes.

You’ve seen that look before and it always ends up with you almost dying from too much laughter because he always—

“You’re gonna regret that.”

You let out a squeal as Jungkook takes ahold of your waist, and before you can even voice out a protest, he easily hoists you up against his body, bouncing you up until you're hanging around his shoulder like a sack bag.

“What the hell, put me down, you prick!” You complain, slapping the rugged muscles on his back. But Jungkook just responds with a series of clicks of his tongue, carrying you across the living room.

You know he’s about to put you on the couch to tickle you to death, so you do what you could and bite down on the skin of his back.

“Ouch!” Jungkook immediately reacts, stumbling a little in his stride. You snort at that, but you immediately frown when you feel a slap to your ass.

“You asshole!”

“You just lowered your chances of being spared,” Was his last words before you feel yourself getting put down on the surface of the sofa. Soon after, Jungkook’s poking his fingers to your waist and stomach, prompting you to erupt in fits of giggles and laughter, thrashing beneath him like a caged animal.

“Pl—stop—oh my god!” You say, weakly reaching for his arms. When Jungkook doesn’t relent, you continue wriggling under him, laughing and choking, saying a variety of, “Stop! I’m —” giggle, “gonna—” then another snort, “—die!”

Jungkook chuckles. He torments you some more before finally stopping his fingers in their ministrations.

“You deserve that.” Jungkook says when you both came down from the high, laughing at the messy state of your hair and the way you try to catch your breath like you just ran a triathlon.

You breathe in and out deeply, clutching your stomach that still hurts from laughing.

“Fuck you.” You hiss, giving him the finger.

Jungkook bursts into laughter, and from his position in between your legs, he lets himself fall on top of you.

“Jungkook, no!” Pushing him off you, you try to get away from him but the goof just forces himself beside you instead, sticking his much bigger build in between you and the back of the couch. It makes you scoot near the edge as a result, and you hold onto his arm so that you don’t fall off, tangling your leg against his own for added support. Pinching his waist in which he lets out an ingenuine “Owe!” to, you face him as you say, “You are so annoying.”

Jungkook just gives you a shit-eating grin. “Who started it?”

“You almost killed me.” You say dryly.

“Don’t be dramatic.” He rolls his eyes.

Suddenly, you realize the position you are both in.

Your bare legs are intermingled against each other, Jungkook has one arm wrapped around your waist, and from the lack of clothes on both sides, you can feel pretty much everything.

There’s a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach upon the epiphany.

Jungkook’s looking at you with a playful grin, but as he notices you staring at him, he stills. From such close proximity, you can almost trace out the lines of his features. The scar on his cheek, the mole under his lip, and the pimple scar that was probably from a week ago. At that thought, you think about: if you can see him so close like this, he can also probably see you, and that’s when you break away from the contact.

“Shit.” You hiss as you let yourself fall off the floor by rolling around, away from his hold and touch and him in general.

Jungkook immediately scoots to the edge of the sofa to look down at you with confused eyes. “The hell?”

“Don’t worry,” you wave your hand at him.

He snorts. “Did you just fall?”

You roll your eyes. Of course, he’d think that. But you let him, standing up from the floor.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

You hear Jungkook’s boisterous laughter as you walk towards the kitchen again, stopping in front of the fridge to get some water.

“You’re going to bed now?” Asks Jungkook, following you to the fridge and mirroring your activity.

Nodding at his question, you peer from the rim of the glass as you answer, “Yeah, I don’t want to be sleeping at the hospital later.”

“Fair.”

Soon after, you both decided to clean up a bit in the kitchen and when you finished, you two headed towards the direction of your bedrooms. It’s located just near the kitchen, with the doors located beside each other.

When you turn the knob open to your own door, Jungkook calls you, catching your attention.

You arch a brow at him, waiting.

“Good night,” Jungkook says. You drop your kitted brows and smile. You’re about to greet him the same but then he adds, “Also– that was a really great cheer.”

“Ugh, Jungkook!”

You look across the bed to see Mingyu still on his laptop on his worktable, working on something. An hour and thirty minutes have passed since you arrived at his place, but you’re still not getting the least bit of attention from him.

You get it, it’s work, but he asked you to come over… isn’t it only fair to expect a little bit of something?

Getting up from the bed, you trudge over to his direction.

“Hi,” you say, ducking down to wrap your arms around his neck from the back of his swivel chair and kissing the spot below his ear.

“Hi,” Mingyu meets the kiss you give him on the lips. He reaches for your hands resting on top of chest and holds it there, looking at you. You delight at the hint of attention. “I’ll just be in a few minutes. You’re staying, right?”

You grin. “Of course.”

“Good.”

Rolling your eyes, you take your hands off him and stand upright once again. Mingyu rotates his chair so he can look at you with his undivided attention, voicing out a low whistle when he takes in your outfit – or lack of it thereof.

You arch a brow, knowing well he’s ogling you only in your bra and panties, squinting your eyes at him. Slowly, you glide your leg over his waist and plop yourself down on his lap, waiting for any protest from him. It doesn’t come, and so you give him a grin before planting your lips against his.

The kiss turns heated in a matter of seconds, with Mingyu squeezing over your bra and taking in your soft moans against his mouth, feeling the delicious roll of your hips against his crotch where you feel a semi growing already.  

“Sweetheart,” Mingyu grunts. When you don’t answer that, he cups your jaw, making you look at him. “__.”

“What?” You say, more like a whine, looking at him with hooded eyes. You’re starting to feel sticky in your underwear and you need him to do something about it.

“Not now, sweetheart. I told you, I’m working.”

You frown. There’s a beat of silence before you let out a sigh. “Okay.” You say, getting off his lap.

“I’ll take care of you when I’m done.” He promises, taking ahold of your wrist, looking up at you.

Pursing your lips, you look away. “It’s fine.” When Mingyu lets go, you look at the direction of the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower,” you tell him. “You’re free to join me if you want or whatever.”

You know he can’t and that he won’t.

“Alright.” Was the last thing you heard before you walked towards the bathroom door.

You’ve been over at his place too many times to count now, and you’re slowly building your shower essentials in his own bathroom. Your body wash, your face cream, your shampoo, your conditioner – even your moisturizer and your eye mask are already placed inside his bathroom cabinet.

As you step out of the shower box, all clean and fresh, you go over to the lavatory to brush your teeth. At the sight of both your cups sitting beside each other, you smile.

You look in the mirror – noting the way your lips can’t stop from curling up at the thoughts running inside your head.

Shaking them off, you grab Mingyu’s robe and put it over yourself, turning the knob around to step out of the bathroom.

You see Mingyu on his bed this time around, but his laptop’s still perched on his lap.

He looks up when he sees you. “Ready to sleep?”

You nod, feeling at home the way you automatically go towards his closet to pick out a shirt and some panties you left over the time.

As you’re in the process of dressing yourself, a phone’s ding rings in the room.

Looking at Mingyu, you watch as he checks his phone, assuming it came from him. When he puts it down, he looks at your plugged phone on the bedside table.

“What is it?” You ask, now properly dressed, walking to the bed.

You note the way Mingyu’s gaze changes as he hands you your phone.

“It’s Jungkook.” He says with a weirdly clipped tone. Then another ding comes. A beat, and then your phone rings.

Your brow shoots up, taking the device from him and checking it yourself.

Jungkook’s face is plastered over your screen – a picture of him wasted in his room two years ago, taken from your Thailand trip with the rest of your friends. He’s sleeping with his mouth open, shirtless in the middle of the hut, only covered up with his trunks. You remember setting it as his contact photo because it was funny back then. Jungkook hates the photo, and your friends always made fun of him for it.

Right now, though, it doesn’t feel the least bit funny. Not when Mingyu’s certainly saw it. Not when he looks a little put off as soon as he sees a glimpse of it when he was passing your phone to you.

“I’ll just answer this.” You say, standing from the bed again.

You don’t expect Mingyu to suddenly shoot you a question, “You can’t answer here?”

Brows knitting together, you give him an uncertain look. “It’s just Jungkook.”

“Yeah… so, why not here?”

You relent, seeing the point he’s trying to make. Plopping yourself on the bed again, you answer Jungkook’s call and put the phone over your ear.

“Jungkook,”

“__,” he sighs out your name, sounding relieved. “Thank fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” You ask, growing a bit concerned at his tone.

You can hear some shuffling from the other line as Jungkook tells you, “Did you see me with my pager in the locker room earlier?”

“Oh, uh… let me think…” you trail off, trying to remember the events earlier. As you do that, you notice Mingyu’s fingers trailing his hands to your bare legs, but you ignore it as you answer Jungkook, “I think I didn’t, yeah. I didn’t.” Jungkook hisses. “Did you check your car?” you ask, trying to help out.

“Already did. It’s not in there, either. I really think I accidentally threw it out in the bin along with some trash in my pockets.” He says, sounding a little distressed now.

“Well… you can always just go to the operator, you know? Get a new pager?” you offer. There’s a drop of kiss on your shoulder that makes you shudder, and you look at Mingyu with furrowed brows. He doesn’t say anything, though, just let his fingers trail upwards, his hand sliding under your shirt, gripping your thigh. Your boyfriend just gives you a sly smile, and you squint your eyes at him, confused at what he’s playing at. 

“I know. But, ugh, you know I lost two pagers already this year. Sungkyun hates me at this point—”

Jungkook’s answer suddenly drowns out when Mingyu grazes his thumb on your clothed clit.

“Oh.”

“—what?” Jungkook halts, asking about your abrupt reaction.

You bite your lip in an effort to shut yourself up, and when Mingyu’s hand makes another move again, your free hand shoots up to stop him.

“Hold on a second, Jungkook,” you say, quickly pressing mute.

Mingyu looks at you with a smirk, playful smile painting his face. “You know you can continue, right?”

At that, your brows furrow even further.

“What are you doing?” You didn’t mean to sound curt but with the way Mingyu’s expression changes, it may have sounded that way.

You… couldn’t help it.

“I wanted to touch you,” Mingyu tells you after a beat of awkward silence. Then, his hand retreats to himself. “Do you not want to?”

There’s guilt that springs up inside you when you see the look on his face as he says those words.

“No, I’m sorry— it’s just… I want to. I just… not with somebody on the phone?” You put it out like a question, unsure of yourself.

The room is quiet for awhile and suddenly there’s a thick tension that hangs in the air.

You reach out for Mingyu but then drop your hand to your sides when he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

He turns his head to you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Is it because it’s Jungkook?”

You frown at his tone.

It sounded accusatory.

“Excuse me?” You say, taking immediate offense. When Mingyu shrugs, you feel a bit of annoyance bubble up inside you. “I would’ve still stopped you if it was anybody else on the phone, Mingyu.” you say, tone firm and leveled.

“I’m sorry, then.”

But he definitely doesn’t sound like it. His sarcasm makes you snap. “What’s up with you?”

Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it again. You watch him with confused eyes, completely at loss of context where he’s at. The night was going fine as usual and suddenly, there’s this.

After a few seconds, Mingyu sighs. “What are you even talking about right now?” He glances at your phone.

“It’s—” you take a glance at it too. “It’s just his pager.”

“Pager?”

“Yes.”

“He asks you about his pager in the middle of the night, knowing full well you’re with me?”

“I—” you stop yourself, words suddenly getting lost in your tongue. Not because you don’t know the answer to his question, but because you hate the way he phrased it – and honestly, you’re starting to feel icky about how he’s going with it. What was he trying to do? Pin you down with accusatory notions?

You don’t fucking get it. Jungkook’s his friend. It’s so bizarre to even think about how Mingyu is seemingly acting jealous over his supposed friend.

“You know what?” You say instead, not wanting to discuss it further with him anymore. It’s just gonna lead to an unnecessary fight – and frankly, you don’t want to deal with his jealousy. It seems so… futile. “Can we just sleep this whole thing off?”

Mingyu looks at you and for the first time, his eyes don’t look gentle. He looks at you with a bit of a frown, and you get it. You do. You’re not exactly happy, either. Not right now, with the way he’s acting.

“Do you want me to go?” You ask, ready to step out of bed.

“I didn’t tell you to.” Mingyu says, voice equally strained.

You sigh. “What do you want me to do, Mingyu? Are you jealous, is that it?” You meant it to be completely rhetorical, not at all expecting him to say anything.

But he answers instantly. “What if I say I am?”

Your lips part. You’re surprised at the confirmation, but you shake your thoughts off it.

“Then it’s completely unnecessary,” you tell him, as genuine as you can sound. When Mingyu doesn’t move in his position on the edge of the bed, you crawl towards him. Testing the waters, you touch his arm to see if he would avoid your touch, but when you do rest your hand on his shoulder, he doesn’t stray. “I like you, Gyu.”

Cocking your head to the side, you watch as his face still sports a cold expression. But he says, “I like you too, you know that,”

“But…?” you try to get out the words from him, because you knew there’s more.

“I don’t want you to think I’m being irrational about this whole thing,” he starts, and you nod your head, trying to show him that you get it. Mingyu licks his lips before he continues, “I just… I guess I just want you to put boundaries around your friendship with Jeon.”

That makes you stop. Nevermind the strange way he called Jungkook by his surname.

“How do you mean by that?” You ask with furrowed brows.

“You’re just really close with him. And you live in one apartment together.” He points out.

“Mingyu…” you say, suddenly feeling tired all over again. “I thought we already talked about that.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent comfortable with it, you know?”

It feels like you got electrocuted by his words the way you quickly retreat your hands. “That’s…” you trail off, not really knowing what to say.

Thankfully, though, Mingyu interjects before you can slip into a dilemma.

“I know, I know about why you’re living with him and all that stuff. We talked about it. It’s just…” he reaches for your hand. Entangling your fingers together, Mingyu brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss there. “I want you all the time. And I guess I really am just jealous – even though it’s juvenile. I’m jealous that he’s known you far longer than me.”

“But— I’m here thrice a week. I make time for the both of us. And it doesn’t really matter how long you’ve known me for, Gyu,” you respond truthfully.

He nods.

“I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m sorry. I guess I just— I got in way over my head that I also forgot to take your feelings into account,”

Mingyu smiles, and there goes his soft gentle expression again.

“I know. It’s fine. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s me who’s being unreasonable.”

“No, it’s not unreasonable,” you tell him. “I get it. Boundaries, Mingyu. I know what you’re talking about.”

Mingyu scooches closer and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You gladly bask in it, smiling against his lips, keeping your gentle gaze towards him as he breaks away.

“I’m sorry for being a bummer.”

You kiss him again and the way he inserts his tongue in your mouth distracts you a bit but you manage to break the contact. Soon, he’s lying down beside you and when you check your phone, your call with Jungkook has already ended, but there are two messages from him on your notifications.

[12:35am] jaykay🤠: are you still alive [12:38am] jaykay🤠: ok nevermind i’ll hang the call i actually found my pager just now 😭 [12:38am] jaykay🤠: it was in the kitchen counter LOL [12:45am] jaykay🤠: ok bye. night

You were going to reply but decide against it for some reason.

Putting your phone down to the bedside table, you follow Mingyu under the sheets and as usual, you face against his direction just like he does.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t really like cuddling that much. He’d share his space to a certain extent, just like how you got into his bed in the first place, but not the lengths of cuddling together in bed. Mingyu didn’t tell you why – and you don’t want to come off as clingy, so you don’t bother asking.

It’s strange, though. Now that he told you a while ago that he, apparently, “wants you all the time”. Shouldn’t he like to cuddle you in bed, then? But you don’t want to dwell in it too much, afraid that you may be digging yourself a hole if you were to keep it up.

As you lay your cheek on your folded hands, you play back the events of the night and think about how you’ve seen this film before.

When you were in med school, Eunwoo always had something to say about your friendship with Jungkook. He wasn’t direct with it, but with the way he never bothered to make friends with Jungkook or always had a grimace on his face when you mentioned him in passing, it was enough for you to conclude that Eunwoo was always… wary of Jungkook – and definitely in a jealous type of way.

He said almost the exact same thing as Mingyu – that boundaries should be built; that Jungkook and you are too close, why is he calling you in the middle of the night to ask about mundane things, why does he know too much about your mother’s preferences, and why is he buddy-buddy with your dad who otherwise always had an uninterested expression on his face?

It wasn’t even just Mingyu. Your past flings for the past four years you’ve been single always got put off when they heard that you’re rooming with a guy – even more so when you mention that he’s your bestfriend.

You’re not stupid to not see how it looks like from the outside perspective – and you’re not dense to not ever consider the possibility of something romantic brewing within the friendship. You have thought about it before – had an instant crush on him the first time you met at the law library back in post grad school. But it was fleeting at best, especially when Eunwoo came into your life a few weeks later.

Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung have also hinted at it. Sometimes – most of the time, really, teasing you two, especially Taehyung. Even the most mature one among your friends – Yoongi – once told you both to get married at forty. He was joking, though he looked way too serious for someone who was just supposed to be joking.

And there was that one dreadful time in third year of med school when Jungkook almost kissed you.

You buried that memory in the very depths of your mind – not ever wanting to revisit it again. It was a bad time, and it was just not a good thing to look back at. Jungkook acted irresponsible, and you stupidly let yourself be complicit in it, even though you knew better.

Nothing even happened – but that memory was just that. A mere memory. You doubt Jungkook even remembers that himself.

Here’s the thing: you’ve just never seen Jungkook past the person you consider as a friend. You’ve never been weird about the women he dated – or if he dated, at all. He’s also always been supportive of your relationships… as far as you’re concerned. Regardless of what everybody says, you both seem to agree that you’re just better off as friends. You work better that way.

Jungkook’s a good guy, though. He does have tons of flings – but he’s just conventionally attractive and works hard for a body that is to die for. Women like that. Additionally, he has a stable job and even though he annoys you about splitting the delivery fee when you do take-out, he’s actually quite rich – or, his family is – he’d always insist.

You get it though. As a co-resident, you both don’t really make that much (for the work that you do) – at least not yet.

But he was indeed born in generational wealth, coming from a family of doctors, which is why it’s quite impressive that he knows how to handle his life by his own hard work. His intelligence and perseverance are some of the things you admire about him, his drive to make a name for himself and never leeching off his family’s name. Jungkook doesn’t ever brag about how his neurosurgeon dad is one of the best in the country and how his mom is a legend in cardiac surgery – even though sometimes, he could use it a little. He’s playful yet charming; quiet when you’re just knowing him, but he’ll eventually talk a lot when you get close.

As a friend, he’s quite the best you’ve ever had.

And even though you don’t really see him past that, you know in your heart that whoever ends up with him romantically will be a very lucky person.

“You’re a pussy.”

“Doyeon.”

Doyeon huffs, rolling her eyes so hard at Taehyung’s reprimand and then goes back to glaring at Jungkook again who just looks at her with a pathetic expression.

“What? I’m right. He’s a pussy and you’re an even bigger pussy for defending him being a pussy.” She says, furrowing her eyebrows angrily.

“Why are we talking about pussies?”

Nayeon suddenly enters the on-call room and Jungkook nearly has a heart attack.

“What the hell, you should at least knock. Jesus.” Jungkook says, clutching his chest, looking at Nayeon with an almost offended expression who closes the door behind her.

“Were you scared it was __? See!” Doyeon sighs out in frustration. “Such a fucking pussy.”

“Such a fucking pussy,” Jungkook mocks, using a higher pitch to imitate Doyeon poorly.

“And a child too.” She rolls her eyes and throws him a pillow. It misses Jungkook and hits Taehyung instead.

“Seriously, what are you so mad about today? You have that mood. Did you and your secret boyfriend fight?” Taehyung spits out.

Everybody stills in the room when Doyeon gives him a sharp glare. That pretty much makes everyone shut up, especially Taehyung who makes a show of physically zipping his mouth.

Nayeon fakes a cough and trudges towards Jungkook sitting on one of the beds. She throws her heavy hands on his shoulders, more like slaps, and then looks at Doyeon as she asks, “What are we calling this man a pussy for?”

“Oh, ask him. Or his dumber best friend.” Doyeon rolls his eyes and looks at Taehyung, crossing her arms and leaning her back on the chair she’s sitting on from across the room.

“You’re starting to hurt my feelings and I hate you.” Taehyung says from the other bed.

“Why?” Nayeon ignores their banter and furrows her brows at Jungkook curiously.

Jungkook hisses under his breath. “It’s nothing. She calls me a pussy for literally everything.”

Doyeon butts in. “Yeah, are you gonna cry?”

“If __ was here, she’s gonna be on my side, you know that?” Jungkook rebuts.

“If __ was here, you’d be panicking because she’ll know about your little secret.”

“Oof.” Taehyung comments.

“Oh, Jungkookie…” Nayeon looks down at him with worried eyes. When he looks up with a sad look, she starts rubbing his shoulders as some sort of comfort, already knowing about what this might be about. “This is about… the thing?”

He nods weakly. “Yes. And no. Uh, well, this is… you know about the birthday trip in the next five days, right? So, she asked me if she could bring, uh, Mingyu along.”

“Oh.” Nayeon utters, looking at Doyeon for confirmation.

Doyeon nods, and then nags, “Ask him what he said.”

Nayeon looks at him. “What did you say?”

“I said yes.”

“Oh.”

Jungkook looks down in slight shame at Nayeon’s reaction. She completely stops her hands’ ministrations on his shoulder, indicating that even she could not believe what he just did.

This makes Jungkook even feel worse.

Leaning his elbow on his thighs, he runs his fingers through his hair as he says, “I mean, how could I have said no? I would’ve looked like an asshole. Besides, Mingyu and I are college friends. There’s no reason for me to prohibit him from this trip. Like, at all.”

“Yeah, you and Mingyu are college friends but, ultimately, it’s our trip, right? __ would’ve understood if you said no.” Doyeon says, still not over her justification from a while ago.

“I know, I know. But still… I didn’t want to say no to her.” Jungkook tells Doyeon, not having a lot to say more than that.

It’s the plain truth, anyway. He truly, simply does not want to say no to you. Not ever.

“But Jungkook…” Nayeon interrupts. “Would it be okay for you? We know how you feel about the whole – er – Mingyu thing. Can you really take them being close together? Especially on a trip for your birthday?”

Though Nayeon’s voice is soft and her gaze gentle, her words hit him like a ton of bricks.

Truthfully, he doesn’t know what to feel about the whole thing. You dating Mingyu is one thing, but you bringing him along on your trips is another. It means that he’s it.

That you’re getting serious.

He hates himself for hating the idea. Jungkook’s always wanted to be nothing but supportive of you. He’d done it perfectly well with Eunwoo before, and your flings in the past four years have never upgraded past to being solely flings so he never worried about them, but now with Mingyu… it’s hard to pretend like it’s not killing him when you talk about how much you like him.

You have that lovestruck look on your face when Mingyu comes up in a conversation. For the first time in a while, you look genuinely happy. Jungkook always thought that your feelings for Eunwoo still lingered over the past few years – and how could it not, when you were literally engaged to him for a year? You told him one time that he may have been your greatest love… and he fears that it might be the same with Mingyu.

Where does that exactly leave him?

“What I think doesn’t really matter. And it’s just for week.” he murmurs, but the others hear it anyway.

“An excruciating week, you mean.” Doyeon says. She stands up from her chair. “You know what, I’m over this whole thing. I’ve witnessed you pine over her for whole eight years – and I’m just – I’m moving on from this. And I have a surgery. I’m going out.”

Jungkook grimaces when Doyeon heads towards the door.

“Doyeon, don’t be mean to Jungkook. He’s trying his best, you know? The timing is just not right and—”

“What timing?”

As soon as Doyeon twisted the doorknob, pulling the door open to completely head out, you came barging in, cutting off Nayeon’s words.

Her eyes widen a little at your sudden arrival. And Jungkook scrambles to think of an effort to swerve the subject, but Taehyung beats him to it.

“__, heyyy,” he prolongs the word quite unnaturally, chuckling at the end of it for no reason. Jungkook internally notes to tell him later never dare try to save anything ever again.

That makes you furrow your brows in confusion. Directing your look to Doyeon who stopped on her tracks, you ask her instead, “What’s going on? What about Jungkook trying his best?”

Doyeon looks at Jungkook and then you. You wait, but then she just rolls her eyes – just completely done about the whole thing. Like she said earlier.

“He’s trying his best not to be a pussy – well, allegedly.” At that, she goes out of the room, ignoring your calls to pull her back in.

“Uh… I think I have a surgery in twenty. See you guys around. Gotta scrub in.” Taehyung jumps from the other bed and Jungkook makes sure to extend his leg forward so that the older guy trips on it as he walks. “What the fuck, man.” Taehyung looks at him, offense written all over his face.

Jungkook gives him a glare. Taehyung chooses to ignore it rather than prolong it and walks past you at the door.

“Bye, fuckers.”

“Don’t call me a fucker!” Nayeon chimes in but Taehyung’s already out of the room.

“Hey, seriously! What was that?” You head towards the bed where Jungkook and Nayeon are, situating yourself on the far end of the bed to lean on the frame. You take off your sneakers in one swift move and lay your feet on Jungkook’s lap.

“It’s nothing. You know how Doyeon always bullies me…” Jungkook says, ignoring the tingling sensation that starts to creep up his spine at the way you casually initiate physical contact.

He needs to get a grip. You most probably don’t really mean anything by it.

“She does not bully you.” Nayeon rolls her eyes beside him.

“You probably deserve it.” you say, pulling out and eating some strawberry yogurt.

Nayeon laughs at your remark, but then it’s cut short when a pager suddenly beeps. Instantly, all of you take out your own and check if it was yours.

“Alright, that’s my call.”

“Bye. Good luck.” You say, offering your cup to Nayeon, but she only shakes her head. Meanwhile, Jungkook gives her a pair of thumbs up.

When Nayeon leaves the room, you nudge Jungkook with your foot.

“Hey,”

Jungkook looks at you with a brow raised.

“Can you rub my foot? Please rub my foot.” You say, making the best rendition of puppy face, extending your sock-cladded foot in his direction.

He scoffs. “Do you think I’m a pushover?”

You gasp dramatically. “I do not! I think you’re a cool person who’d totally give me foot rubs.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not a cool person who would give you foot rubs.”

You groan. “I gave you a massage weeks ago.”

“That was, like, two months ago.” Jungkook says drily.

“It counts because you didn’t do anything to repay me for my kindness.”

“Oh, you need your kindness paid back?” Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You pout at him and then whine. “Please, just three minutes, I swear. I’ll even put up a timer.”

Indeed, Jungkook is a pushover. Pushover to your cute pout and every request. Again, he could just not find it in himself to say no to you. Not even in his wildest dreams.

But it’s never not fun to tease you before he relents. “Fine. Two minutes.” He says, pretending to begrudge the thought of giving you a foot massage, even though inside, he’s quite thrilled to be doing so.

It would be a lie to say that it isn’t one of his favorite past times in the quiet evenings of your apartment. Jungkook loves the weight of your leg on his lap, loves the way you thank him in between groans, and loves that he just gets to be close to you in almost such an intimate way.

“Your feet stink.” Jungkook decides to tease, scrunching his nose, feigning disgust.

“Don’t lie. Also, your feet stink even more, don’t try me.”

“My feet do not stink.”

“Let’s just agree to disagree,” You grin. “I’m starting a timer.” You say, grabbing your phone, pressing some stuff on it before you put it on the mattress.

“Let me see, for all I know, you set it to five instead of three.”

You look at him with widen eyes, stiffening.

“It’s three minutes.”

“Your nostrils are flaring, you’re lying.”

You groan. “Please. Dinner is on me later.”

That obviously catches Jungkook’s attention.

“You’re staying at home for the night?”

You look at him weird. “Yeah, of course. What’s with that face?”

Jungkook shakes his head, hides a small smile as he looks down to your feet on his lap and takes a hold of one. He takes off your sock for you and begins massaging the tendons of your foot, noting the way you immediately lean back and relax.

“Nothing. I just thought you’d be staying at Mingyu’s again.”

“Ah,” you nod your head. When Mingyu's name is mentioned, you visibly frown. It’s the kind of face that you make when you’re deep in thought. “I was supposed to. But I don’t know… we fought this morning.”

Jungkook raises a brow. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shrug. “Not really. It’s a weird argument. I don’t know.”

He wants so badly to poke around and find out… but somehow, there’s something in him that tells him not to bother.

Anyway, you’re going home tonight so that’s all that matters. Jungkook begins to think about what to eat for dinner… he’d love to cook something, nevermind that he’s tired from his overnight shift yesterday. He also only got around four total hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and that was not even consecutive hours – just the sum. That is why he was in the on-call rooms, until Taehyung suddenly barged in, followed by Doyeon, Nayeon, and then you.

“Oh– there, that’s so good, Jungkook,” you say after a particularly hard press against the ball of your heel.

Jungkook knows better than to let his mind wander upon hearing that from you. He’s massaging you, of course that was gonna be the natural reaction.

It’s also quite pathetic to be even thinking about it in the first place – considering that your mind might most likely be weighed by yours and Mingyu’s argument – your boyfriend.

“Hey, about what I said a few days ago,” you started to speak again, breaking the momentary silence. Jungkook hums to acknowledge you. “I know you said yes to me bringing Mingyu along, but, uh, I’m not sure if he still plans to.”

“Ah,” Jungkook nods. Was the argument that bad? “Okay.”

“Yeah. He has to fly over to Arizona for something that week. Told me he may be able to arrive and join us on the second day, which is the exact date of your birthday, but honestly, I’m not sure. His sched changes a lot.”

Deep down, Jungkook wishes Mingyu just opts out of joining in altogether.

But he doesn’t have to tell you that.

“That’s a shame.” he comments, not really meaning it. He massages your other foot with ginger hands, which has you letting out soft sighs again. Jungkook buries them in the back of his head, lest his mind goes to territories that are absolutely humiliating.

“I know…” you trail off. You look like you have more to say as well, but then the door to the room opens. Again.

“Forgot my pager.” Doyeon announces, crossing the room with quick steps to reach for the forgotten thing she left on the table.

When Doyeon’s gaze falls back to the both of you, she raises a brow, and then her eyes direct their way towards Jungkook’s hands on your foot.

You’re about to say something when Doyeon rolls his eyes at Jungkook. Then, without giving you the opportunity to speak, she heads out of the room quickly, leaving Jungkook to look in another direction in quiet shame.

“What was that?” You comment, confused at what just happened.

“Eh, she’s in a sour mood today. It’s regular Doyeon.” Shrugs Jungkook, trying to swerve the subject.

You pout. “Are you two fighting again for real?”

Jungkook chuckles. “No, it’s not serious. You know how Doyeon and I get.”

You squint your eyes, but say nothing nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Jungkook hisses internally.

Jungkook gets Doyeon. You all have been friends since freshman year of med school – the founder of your study group – and she was also the first one to find out about Jungkook’s little crush. He didn’t even have to say it explicitly, she just knew. Eventually, Jungkook told Taehyung. He has quite a big mouth, unfortunately, so when you started your internship at the hospital – he lets it slip in a conversation with Nayeon who was just becoming your friend that time – leading the situation to where it is right now.

Out of all of them, though, Doyeon got it pretty hard. She’s witnessed the early stages of Jungkook’s infatuation towards you in the first semester of med school, had to keep quiet during study sessions. She was even supportive that time, telling Jungkook to just go for it – but then Eunwoo happened, and the confession never saw the light of day.

When they broke up, Doyeon became hopeful again, just as Jungkook was. But you were showing no signs of moving on and Jungkook had no choice but to step back for a bit.

The past two years, though, Doyeon became more insistent, telling him you’re single and it’s the fattest chance Jungkook can ever get.

But she’s right, after all. Jungkook’s a pussy. He hides his feelings well – a pro at the sport, really, at this point.

When Mingyu happened a few months ago, Doyeon’s just over it. She told Jungkook one time in a drinking session that the ship has sunk and he’s going to be in his sixties regretting not ever confessing to you. Sometimes, he wakes up at night in sweat from a nightmare that involved Doyeon murdering him because of his emotional constipation.

Jungkook knows she just wants the best for him – even though she’s more on showing him tough love instead of a gentle one. Doyeon’s always been like that, but she’s a good friend. When things went haywire, she was there to genuinely sympathize with him and console him – together with Taehyung and some of his other friends.

But in Jungkook’s defense, Doyeon just also doesn’t get it.

It’s so easy to just say fuck it and make a confession already, so easy to think about how things could turn positively – but she’s not – they’re not – in Jungkook’s shoes. They will never be.

So many things could go wrong if he ever were to listen to his heart. Sure, he’s had the chance over the past four years – most would say that. But it’s not a chance when you’ve spent half of it moving on from Eunwoo. It’s not a chance when you spent the other half trying to go on dates and fail – each one making you more miserable about your love life, as you told him so many nights ago in those rare special moments in the balcony of your apartment.

Those four years you were single was never a chance – not when you never showed any bit of interest.

It’s the reality that his friends always somehow miss when encouraging him to confess his feelings.

You’re friends for almost a decade now – eight years to be exact – but not once did you ever hint at wanting to be in a relationship with him. Your reaction to that always involved a disgusted expression and a variation of “No way!”. Might be a joke just to tease him – but also might be rooted in something genuine deep down.

Jungkook likes to think that physically, he doesn’t look so bad. He’s nice when he wants to be, especially towards people he cares about. He’s a resident surgeon who makes enough. Could be funny, charming… whatever.

Most of all, he likes to think he could deserve you one of these days. That he could be the man that you’re searching for.

But it’s been eight years and you’ve never once looked at him like how he surely does at you.

God knows how many times Jungkook has tried to move on – how many sleepless nights he has trying to erase the feeling of so much longing for you. Sometimes, it works, when he’s on his casual dates and hook-up with all those women that thankfully fancied him enough. He momentarily forgets about your laugh and your hair and the crinkles on the sides of your eyes when you smile and your soft hands and your gentle voice – but it cracks when the sex is done and he’s staring at the blank ceiling of his date’s apartment, hating himself for yet again seeing your picture in his memory when he’s buried in somebody else, wishing it was you instead.

It hurts so badly. Especially when you seem to look at everybody else except him. You wanted to weed out someone for you – meanwhile, he’s just right under your nose, and yet you don’t see him. It’s at this point, when you have Mingyu as your boyfriend now, that Jungkook is starting to realize that you don’t see him not because you can’t, but because you choose not to.

Regardless, he knows you love him. Knows you care about him on a deeper level. Would probably sacrifice a bit of your time to tend to him if he needs it. But it’s the kind of love that’s not comparable to the one he has for you. Jungkook’s feelings encompass every single kind of love a human could have for another being – but you only have one kind for him. The platonic kind.

And even though it’s painful to face the reality of that very idea, Jungkook thinks that maybe… just maybe… Mingyu’s actually it.

Mingyu wasn’t exactly a saint the last time Jungkook saw him, but people change and the way you seem so genuinely happy these days tells Jungkook that maybe Mingyu’s another version of himself now – the better one who will never hurt you or make you cry.

Maybe this is what love’s all about. You’re content with seeing them happy, even if it’s not with you.

Jungkook thinks that as he steals a glance at you looking at your phone – most probably playing that landlord game on your phone you’ve been obsessed with the past few weeks – and you’re so beautiful like this. Even when you’re probably running on limited hours of sleep just like him.

Your hair is put up in that tulip hairclip you have a lot of, stray hairs framing some parts of your face. But he sees your features just fine – notes the way they are structured so perfectly it truly awes him that men and women didn’t beg for your attention whenever you went out in public.

Because he would. He did. He does. He always teases you for the purpose of your reaction… because Jungkook likes it when you pay attention to him. So much that it kills him to think that maybe, that attention will die soon as you and Mingyu get closer as another week passes by.

The timer that goes off on your phone snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts, and you look at him with widened eyes.

“Don’t st–”

“It’s my turn now,” Jungkook cuts you off and gently places your legs on the mattress, bringing his own on the soft surface as well.

You jut your bottom lip out – and Jungkook feels himself wanting to give in.

“Five minutes is so quick.” You say, but nonetheless takes his shin to your lap.

Jungkook tries hard to sway the butterflies in his stomach at your touch.

“Favor for a favor, remember?” He teases, lifting one of his foot to your direction.

You pretend to gag. “I hate you.”

Jungkook laughs, quite boisterously. Because he knows you don’t mean it. I hate you basically just means I love you but you’re annoying me right now in your own little dictionary – and he always gets giddy whenever you tell him that – as weird as it may sound.

But Jungkook likes this, though.

Sure, it would be so fucking great if he could just confess and lay out his cards all at once, but the chances of you not taking it well is too big – and even though Jungkook’s usually a risk taker, he couldn’t ever risk you all over his dead body.

He can keep his hurt to himself over you feeling anything but romantic towards him – because if he confesses and you don’t feel the same way, he knows damn well that he’ll lose you completely.

And the thought makes him shudder.

That probably catches your sight, so you ask him about it.

Jungkook tells you it’s the AC.

[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:04am ]

The beating sun feels uncomfortable on Jungkook’s skin, but there’s no way he’s wasting a day like this holed up in the villa he and his friends chipped in to rent. It costed you all a shit ton of money – might as well enjoy every waking day he gets to spend here.

It’s why he decides to goad Taehyung and Nayeon into coming with him along the shore where sun loungers are lined up to accommodate the few visitors who were also at the resort. He tried to convince Doyeon, but she goes straight to sleep as soon as the rooms were assigned.

He gets it – you all did travel by plane instead of car (because that would've taken you twelve hours) and Doyeon gets airsick whenever she rides in a plane. Jungkook also tried to talk you into it, but you said you were just going to lounge about by the pool at the villa and follow after a while.

Your “after awhile” takes about thirty minutes, and Jungkook thinks you’re missing all the fun, especially when Nayeon and Taehyung are starting to strip off their clothes to submerge themselves in the ocean.

With his loaded watergun, he goes straight back to the villa, and it doesn’t take much time to spot you by the terrace, lying down on a sun lounger with your big hat and sunglasses on, a book opened in your hands.

Unsuspecting, you let out a sudden squeal when Jungkook presses the trigger of the toy in his grip, a spring of water meeting your bare legs. Jungkook obviously tries hard to ignore that you’re wearing a flimsy pair of white bikinis. He saw you pack it two days ago… and he remembers taking too long to move on from the image he’s conjured up in his head upon seeing it.

“Jungkook!”

He chuckles at your reaction, poorly hiding the watergun behind him. “What?”

“I’ll kill you.” You seethe, your body coming forward to sit upright, hastily taking your sunnies off so he can see the cute glare on your face.

“What are you going to do? I have this,” He points to his weapon. “Are you challenging me into a hand-to-hand combat?” Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrow.

You groan. Then, you lay back on the lounger again, opening your book, deciding to ignore him.

Jungkook can’t have that, of course. So, he walks closer to your direction, stopping beside you, effectively blocking the sun and in turn, dimming the light source of your book.

“You’re blocking my sun.” You say, looking up at him.

“You’ll get all the sun you want if you haul your ass off to the shore. Come on, we’re all swimming in there,” he tries to convince you, nudging your thigh with his knee.

You give him a pout. You sound whiny when you say, “But it’s too hot.”

“That’s why we’ll get in the water.”

“Don’t be sassy.” You roll your eyes. “I meant the water would be way too hot.”

“It’s not, Nayeon said so.”

You glance at the pool across from you. “Why can’t we all just swim in here?”

Jungkook deadpans. “Because this is a five-foot pool and absolutely no one will enjoy it.”

You frown at him, quietly telling Jungkook he’s right.

“Ugh,” you groan. “But I’ll have to reapply SPF first…” You grab the bottle of lotion that’s just placed on the small table on the side of the lounger. Then you look at him with squinted eyes, “Did you wear sunscreen?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes but nonetheless says yes, knowing how you always nag him about it whenever you guys are at the beach. It’s not even just him. It’s also with your other friends.

He watches as you rub lotion over your body, but when you get to the back, you look up at him and extend the bottle towards his way.

“Can you help me with this, please?” You say.

Jungkook automatically takes the bottle but it takes him a full five seconds to understand what you’re getting at.

You’re asking him to put sunscreen on your back. You’re very naked back that sports nothing but the tiny strings of your bikini holding your chest.

Of course, you don’t notice his dilemma. Twisting in your seat so that your back faces him, you gather your hair to the side, obviously waiting for him to do your request.

But Jungkook’s distracted behind your back. He’s distracted at how smooth it looks under the scorching sun and how easy it would be to paint it with something other than the natural color of your skin.

It’s not even the first time he’ll do this – you’ve been to trips before and putting on sunscreen over your friend is about as natural as it gets like how he would do it as well to Taehyung or even Doyeon or Nayeon if they ask to.

But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect him one bit when it comes to you.

Needless to say, his mind is pre-occupied as he sits down behind you where you left some space for him to sit, squirting the lotion into the palms of his hands, gingerly spreading it over your back once he got it.

“Be sure to cover everything,” you say, obviously not aware about Jungkook’s mental crisis behind your back.

He thinks it’s worth the crisis over though, as you’re so soft under his touch. Jungkook kneads the span of your back, squeezes your waist lightly to even out the cream, and makes sure to put it over your shoulders as well. When his hands fall, he hesitates.

“Should I – uh—”

“Yeah, just go under the strings.” You tell him before he can even finish.

There’s a lump in his throat that he swallows before he goes under the strings of your bikini top, his heart doing funny somersaults against his ribcage as he spreads the lotion over your skin. It guilts him to no end that his mind thinks about how he’s just inches away from your breasts.

He retreats his hand right away. “Done.”

You turn back to him. “Thanks. You want me to do yours?”

“Sure.”

Jungkook sits on the edge of the lounger and lets his back turn to you. He hears the cap of the lotion bottle being opened again and soon your hands are lathering the cream over the expanse of his back.

It’s embarrassing the way he lets himself savor the seconds of your every touch. Embarrassing the way his mind zeroes in on the way your soft hands caress the tendons of his back muscles. He thinks about the weight, how good this feels; your hands on him. Suddenly, there’s a zap of electricity that goes through his spine, and then he feels it.

The twitch in his dick and the blood that he feels rushing to it.

“Okay, you’re done.” You say, tapping his back twice so he can turn to you.

It snaps him out of his thoughts, but his dick is thinking about something else and as he subtly looks down, there’s already a growing semi on the crotch of his trunk shorts.

Jungkook curses himself internally, shutting his eyes close in slight frustration.

Fucking uncooperative dick.

He stands up from the chair when you nudge his back with your foot, thinking that he’d see you coming along in a few seconds. But you don’t, and as he turns his heel to look at you, you’re back in your cozy lying position on the lounger, with your book opened, just like how he saw you when he came in a while ago.

Jungkook parts his lips in disbelief, but also finding the whole thing funny.

“You minx.” He muses, playfully squinting his eyes at you upon realizing the trick you just pulled.

“Enjoy the beach, Jungkook. Send my regards to Taehyung and Nayeon.” You say, giving him a taunting flying kiss. “And thank you for reapplying my sunscreen.”

Jungkook chuckles at your remark, and just like that, he forgets about his stubborn dick, and goes over back to you, blocking your sun once again.

“You’re blocking my sun again— Jungkook!”

It’s predictable the way you hurl a series of creative curses at him as Jungkook forcefully picks you up from the chair, knocking your hat and your book on the ground as he hoists you against his shoulder, carrying you upside down like a sack of potatoes.

“Jungkook, I swear to god!” You squeal, repeatedly slapping his back as he walks to the direction of the shore, but Jungkook’s nothing but a solid muscle, firm over his hold on the back of your legs.

“Be quiet.” He says, chuckling at your sounds of opposition.

“I hate you, you’re such a prick, ugh!”

He picks up his walking pace and you scream again when you see the ocean water from your view.

Jungkook chuckles as you continue to plant your fists on his back, and when the water reaches his knees, he throws you in it.

“Fuck. You!” You say, glaring at Jungkook in the middle of his uncontrollable laughter.

“Come on, Taehyung and Nayeon are over there,” he points to the deeper part of the ocean a few feet from where you are, and when you turn your head, you see Taehyung and Nayeon with their floaties.

“Ugh…” Jungkook hears you groan before you follow behind him. When Jungkook looks back, he sees you paddling around the water like some puppy, and he snickers to himself. That earns him a splash on his way, with you rolling your eyes at him.

“Jungkook! __!” Yells Nayeon over their direction, waving her hand around. Taehyung and her are perched on the big floatie they fought over with at the villa earlier.

“Jungkook,” calls you behind him.

You’re starting to cross the deeper part of the ocean and it’s within Jungkook’s chest now. Meanwhile, your friends are still about a few feet away, so the level would definitely be on his neck by the time. You’re considerably tall, but Jungkook’s still half a head taller than you, so when he looks back at you, the water’s already reached your shoulders.

“This is way too deep!” You complain.

“Don’t be a pussy, __!” Comments Taehyung from afar.

“Fuck off,” you murmur and then beckons Jungkook to you. “Help me a bit here.”

Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling as he moves a few steps back to get to your direction.

“You big baby, you never learned how to swim, have you?” He teases, playfully clicking his tongue.

“What for?” You say when he gets near.

Jungkook feels pleased with himself about you asking for his help to cross the deeper part of the ocean, but he’s met with surprise when you heavily plant your palms on his shoulders, causing him to be out of balance and tripping over his feet under the water.

It causes a misstep and he nearly chokes as he comes back up for air again only to see you laughing your ass off. Nayeon and Taehyung are also laughing along, even from afar, and Jungkook wipes the back of his hand over his eyes to see clearly.

“That’s for throwing me in the water earlier,” you say in between your snickers and Jungkook’s just about to say something back when you suddenly wrap your hands around his neck from the back, your legs locking around his waist. “Carry me to the floatie, pretty please,” you say against his cheek in a sing-song voice.

With that, Jungkook feels your whole entire body against his back, your breasts pressing against his skin. He ignores the way the physical contact makes his body tingle, and he hopes you don’t notice his blush when he raises his arms to hold the back of your legs.

“Only because you’re annoying.” He pretends to sound annoyed, but the laugh that comes out of you at the remark makes him smile anyway.

[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:35pm ]

Your daytime activities at the beach included jetskiing – one that knocked Taehyung off the water way too many times that he just gave up halfway through it. When Doyeon woke up a little later in the afternoon, all of you decided to get food from the dining hall and ate your hearts out at the buffet.

The day ended with all of you back in your assigned rooms again. Since you rented a two-bedroom villa, Jungkook’s rooming with Taehyung in the secondary bedroom while Nayeon, Doyeon, and you are all inside the primary one since it’s bigger.

It’s past thirty minutes to eleven in the night when somebody knocks on Jungkook’s shared bedroom with Taehyung. When Jungkook looks at him from across the room, he’s knocked out on the sofa, soft snores coming out from his mouth. Him and Jungkook decided to take turns with the bed itself throughout the whole vacation. There’s an extra cushion Taehyung could’ve laid on the floor, but he was way too tired to set it up and to even care – looks like he doesn’t really need it, though, since he looks so peaceful in his position.

Grumbling, Jungkook gets out from the sheets, scratching his bare chest and rubbing the back of his head as he walks over to the door to open it.

When he does, he’s welcomed by the sight of you in your big grey hoodie and some shorts.

“Wear something.” You say as soon as you take in his appearance.

Jungkook’s habit of going to sleep with only his boxers knows no bounds. Even when it’s below 20 degrees Celsius outside, he always opts out of his pajamas, choosing to go bare in his sheets instead. In his defense for now, the duvet is thick and it provided him with enough protection against the cold of the AC and the summer night.

“What are you doing here?” He says as he trudges back inside the room to wear a pair of sweatpants hanging from the chair.

“Rude.” You comment, following him in the room. You look at Taehyung’s passed out state in the couch. “He’s going to wake up in the evening tomorrow and miss your birthday.”

That makes Jungkook smirk, remembering Taehyung’s high energy in the morning.

“No consequences. It’s vacation week.” Jungkook raises his eyebrows. “Seriously, what brought you here? It’s almost midnight.”

You sit on the edge of the bed. That’s when Jungkook notices the black plastic you’re carrying in your hand. “It’s not that late. Let’s head out for a bit.”

He raises a brow, confused. “Where to?”

“You’re going to find out. Wear a jacket, it’s a bit cold outside.” You say as you stand up from the bed again, heading for the door.

Jungkook’s confusion just grows with passing seconds. Nonetheless, he can’t say he’s not intrigued.

Unsure, he goes for his small luggage and takes out the only hoodie he packed. It’s grey as well, matching the one you have on. Jungkook tries to shake that thought off his head as you both quietly head out of the room.

It’s late into the night and when you head out of the villa, there’s not many people hanging along the shore anymore.

“Follow me,” you tell him, and Jungkook does.

It may have been his drowsiness that kept him quiet throughout the whole walk – just quietly following along with you, your rented villa no longer in his line of sight. Jungkook couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you currently are, but this side of the beach is a bit rocky, and much, much colder. He feels it even through the thick material of his hoodie.

“We’re here.” You announce, a proud lilt to your voice. Jungkook bumps with your back when you suddenly stop on your tracks. It prompts a chuckle from you, turning back to him so Jungkook sees the crinkles on the sides of your eyes as you do so.

It makes his lips curl. “What’s this?” He curiously asks, looking around.

Your grin grows wider. “We’re gonna take those stairs and it’s gonna lead us to some pretty view.” Jungkook looks to the direction you pointed at, seeing the stairs you just referred to. Still unsure, he glances back at you. You laugh. “You remember when Doyeon and I went out for a walk earlier for a bit? We found this place.”

Jungkook nods. “I see. Thought for a second there you found a place to dispose my body at.”

You snort as you take Jungkook’s wrist to hold on to as you climb to the stairs.

“I won’t do it as such a public place.”

“So, you really are thinking about it in the first place.” Jungkook nods his head, guiding your back up the jagged stairs. You manage to get to the smoother surface and Jungkook’s quick to follow you towards the straight path of the narrow walkway.

“It’s my favorite past time, really.” You look back at him cheekily, a playful grin painting your lips. Jungkook scoffs.

The hallway is colonnaded with some flags, and there’s an edge where the concrete stops, the ocean water splashing against the big rocks beneath the broken bridge.

You set aside the black plastic you’ve been carrying around and Jungkook realizes they’re Smirnoffs. Sitting on the concrete, you let your feet hang on the edge.

“Hey, be careful,” Jungkook comments as he sees you do that. This part of the ocean isn’t necessarily far – where you were earlier when you were swimming was far deeper, but still, it could be dangerous if you make a mistake. Jungkook wonders what the designers of the beach thought about when they made this plan.

“Come on, don’t be fussy. Sit here with me.” You say, patting the space beside you.

Jungkook follows, of course, and you scoot to the side a little to give him more room.

“It’s nice, right,” You look at him, cocking your head to the side.

Jungkook feels the breeze of cool wind passing, and it’s a bit strong that it moves his fringes and yours as well. You put your hair up as usual in that big metal clip you always wear, but some strands of your hair escape and they frame your face.

With your big hoodie on and smile, Jungkook thinks you look extra cozy. He may have been hot and bothered by your bikini ensemble earlier, but now he’s bothered for another reason. He can’t stop thinking about cuddling you under the night sky full of stars at the very moment.

“Feels good.” Jungkook comments. He plants his palms on the hard surface of the concrete behind him, leaning back as he looks to your side. “You wanted to drink here?”

“Oh, yeah,” You say, twisting your body a little to pick up the plastic cellophane. You take out two bottles of Smirnoffs and offer one to him which he gladly takes. Taking a bottle opener out, you’re about to open your drinks when Jungkook offers to do it for the both of you. You don’t protest, just let him do his thing, smiling when he hands you your Smirnoff.

“This is really nice.” Jungkook sighs after he takes the first sip, looking straight ahead to the mountainous view in front of you.

You hum, seemingly enjoying the moment as well. Jungkook takes a quick glance at your side profile and then quickly looks back ahead when he feels you do the same.

“Why’d you bring me here?” He asks.

“Nothing. I couldn’t sleep, and I thought I could bring you here. So.” You shrug.

Jungkook nods.

“I’m turning thirty-one tomorrow. Or, in an hour, actually.” He says, automatically looking at his wrist but then realizing he took off his watch and left it at the bedside table. He didn’t take his phone with him either.

“I know. You’re so old now.” You tell him with a teasing tone in your words.

“Fuck off,” he snorts. “I’m only a year older than you.”

“Hmm… still old. Imagine, you turn fifty, I would still be forty-nine.”

Jungkook laughs at that.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, babe.” He lets the pet name slip, and he did not mean to. It just rolled off his tongue for some reason. Quite easily, too.

You don’t seem to care – or even notice – as you chuckle.

There’s a comfortable silence that hangs in the air again when Jungkook decides to break it.

“Hey, I really appreciate you for coming along. You and the gang, really. This is a really good trip so far.”

You give him a smile as you look at him. It’s one of those pretty ones that are a bit small but there’s a certain shine to your eyes and Jungkook just really loves looking at you with a smile on your face. You’re so pretty, he thinks he’s so lucky to even get the chance to look at you.

“You know we all need this trip, right? I think it’s all our first time vacationing in two years.”

He nods, chuckling to himself. It’s true. The last time was the Thailand trip and it felt like eons ago. Being a resident surgeon means less free time for leisure – and so you always make sure to spend your days off wisely. Even this trip took a lot of pre-planning to be possible just so all of your schedules would match.

“It’s crazy, though…” you say suddenly.

Jungkook cocks a brow at you. “What’s crazy?”

“That we’ve known each other for like – what? Eight years?”

Eight years and four months to be exact. Jungkook’s not keeping count – he just will never forget the exact moment he met you for the very first time.

It’s truly one of his core memories – knowing you. He remembers having to pass by the law library to meet Jimin – one of his closest friends who was studying law at the same grad school as him at the time. They were planning to eat out for lunch, but then he saw a woman at the individual study areas with a reading material that’s familiar with his. Netter’s Atlas of Human Anatomy. You wore that maroon hairclip you loved so much during first year (Jungkook remembers you losing it in the second semester and how he bought you another one in your birthday), and when you looked up from your book for awhile, taking a break from taking notes on your iPad, that was when Jungkook saw your face and he nearly falls over back then.

It’s common knowledge among your mutual friends and acquaintances that you’re pretty. It’s the first thing that Jungkook noticed about you, the reason why he harbored an instant crush. That pretty much turned into… well – something deeper as the years passed by and he got to know you more than just your beautiful physical appearance.

He found it strange at the time to find somebody who was obviously a med student studying at the law library, but he soon found out it was because you didn’t like studying at the med lib, said you felt too much pressure being among your fellow med students. Jungkook understood that in a spiritual level, and so when you became friends, you studied a lot at the law lib, until you met Doyeon and she formed a study group. It wasn’t long before Taehyung joined the equation.

Looking back at it, Jungkook thinks it’s surreal. How knowing you led to him knowing more people that would soon be important in his life up until the age of thirty-one.

“Almost a decade.” He says, can’t help but smile at the thought.

“Right? It feels so surreal sometimes that we all knew each other at, like, twenty-three and twenty two. And now we’re in our thirties.”

“When you put it like that…” Jungkook trails off, laughing at how young you actually were eight years ago.

“Yeah, I know!” You giggle. You look ahead, then you laugh again to yourself. Jungkook looks at you in confusion, giving you a questioning look at your sudden burst of laughter. Looking at him, you shake your head, “This is a bit of a TMI, but I was twenty-two when I entered med school, so I just lost my virginity three years ago. You know what’s funny? I’ve always thought I would lose my virginity, at like, thirty. Or twenty-seven. But that was even way too early for me.”

Jungkook almost splutters at the way you casually bring it up. He takes the bottle of Smirnoff away from him and looks at you with a chuckle. “Losing your virginity at nineteen is common.”

“Well, did you? Lose yours at nineteen?” You arch a brow.

“Nope.” Jungkook shakes his head, tipping his head back to drink again.

“Younger?” You ask again.

Jungkook chuckles at your curiosity. Much to your surprise, he shakes his head again. “Nah. Junior year. I just turned twenty-one. Lost it with my first girlfriend.”

Your lips part and Jungkook meets your shocked stare, brow cocked upwards.

“You’re fucking with me.”

“What? No, I’m not.” He laughs. He gets your surprise, though. Taehyung couldn’t believe it either when it came up in a random conversation.

You still look incredulous as you say, “You mean, like you never dated until junior year of undergrad?”

Jungkook shakes his head once again. “Yes, and no…? I mean, I had a… sort of girlfriend? Back in highschool, yeah, but it was more of like a mutual crush thing rather than an official relationship. But yeah, never dated and never had sex ‘til I found my first girlfriend in third year.”

You look at him suspiciously still, and Jungkook can’t help but laugh even more at your reaction.

“I really don’t believe you.”

“What’s so surprising about that?” Jungkook knows the answer, though. He sleeps around, and you know that. It’s probably why you can’t believe he’s only started having sex until third year of college.

You’re quiet for a bit.

“So… you and that girlfriend broke up, and then…” you trail off, letting him finish the pieces.

Jungkook chuckles, recalling some memories that he thought were already hidden well at the back of his head.

Jiyeon. Her name was Park Jiyeon, his first girlfriend. He was the one who ended things – and not because he didn’t have feelings for her. It was the other way around.

“Yeah,” Jungkook fills in. “Didn’t date seriously after that.”

“Uh… was it a bad break-up?” You say, and there’s hesitance in your voice. When Jungkook looks at you, you open your mouth to take your question back, probably, but Jungkook just gives you a warm smile.

“Yeah. It was bad. But I don’t really think about it now.”

You nod. “I see.” You say, looking ahead at the ocean again. “You dated… quite seriously again in our last year of med school, though.”

“Sora?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook nods, remembering the only one-year relationship he had. Min Sora was a fashion magazine director at the time. Jungkook liked her as she did, but they had too many differences that lead to too many arguments. Sora ended things before the relationship dragged out. Jungkook was grateful for it. They’re casual as of now… good friends, maybe?

“I always wondered why she broke up with you.” You say quietly.

Jungkook doesn’t expect that. “You wondered about that?”

“Yeah. I mean, you seemed like you were both really into each other, so I just thought… you know,” you shrug.

“Ah. That,” Jungkook looks afar, recalling the day when she ended things with him. It had been because of the stress that the last year of med school brought – he likes to think that. But it was also during the time when Eunwoo proposed to you and what he thought was feelings forgotten for you came back resurfacing and Sora just… figured him out. She told him he loved you, and she’s got no spare time to compete with that. Denying it at the time was futile – Sora was smart. A wise, independent woman. She ended the relationship herself before she got deeply hurt. Jungkook has always felt sorry about how things turned out. No, he doesn’t regret the break-up – just regrets the way he hurt her – unintentionally – even though she didn’t show it.  “Just didn’t work out, I guess.”

You nod again.

Silence sits in the air.

It feels a little strange to talk about these things now. It’s not that you both never share these aspects about your lives to each other, but it’s the first time you ask him about Sora. He never really bothered to share, though, for the record.

From his periphery, he sees you taking your phone out from your pocket, then gasping.

Jungkook immediately looks at you to see what’s wrong. You show him your phone and he notes nothing of significance first before you say, “It’s 12:01 am. It’s September first!”

“Oh.”

“Happy birthday, Kook.” You say, smiling at him, and it’s an underestimation for Jungkook to say he nearly gets blinded by it. You look so gorgeous in your happy smile, so genuine, so warm, so cozy in your big grey hoodie.

Jungkook wants so bad to plant his lips on yours right then and there, but he reminds himself that he can’t do that. He reminds himself that you’re taken. That you like somebody else. The somebody else arriving tomorrow, as per your words earlier this day when he asked about Mingyu.

Still, it doesn’t stop Jungkook from mirroring your smile.

“Thank you.”

“And, before I forget,” you stuff your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and Jungkook watches as you take out a small rectangular box. As he pays you a glance, you’re a little bit shy, not looking straight into his eyes as you say, “Uh. I saw this somewhere, and I thought you’d like it.”

You extend your hand to him and Jungkook lets go of his beer to take the velvety green box from you.

He feels jittery as he takes it in, caresses the ribbon first before opening it altogether.

What’s inside surprises him.

“It didn’t cost much so don’t throw it away,” you say, uncharacteristically defensive. Jungkook can’t see your expression, but he bets your thoughts are going haywire as it takes him awhile to say anything about your gift. You always get nervous when it comes to gifts. “... and anyway, it’s not even my real gift. My real gift is a hairdryer, so I’m sure you’re gonna like that better. But it’s cute, right? You can hang it in your keyholder or something—”

“__,” Jungkook cuts you off, his eyes still on the keyring laying on the box. “You’re giving this to me?”

“Y-yeah. It’s… uh… cute, right? I thought it was cute.” You say, and when Jungkook looks at you, he sees the adorable way your brows furrow.

He chuckles, looking at the keyring again. It’s a silver Claddagh.

“Do you know what this means?” Jungkook asks.

“The what?”

Jungkook points to the Claddagh. “This symbol.”

You look away as you say, “No, not really. I just thought it’s a cool keychain. You told me you like keychains, but I don’t ever see you with a keychain. So.”

With your nostrils flaring a little, he knows you’re lying. You definitely know what the Claddagh symbol means.

But instead of goading you about it, Jungkook takes the keyring out of the box and hangs it over his finger, admiring the item.

“Thank you. This is really cute, and I love it.” Jungkook tells you, giving you a soft smile.

You stare at him and then cave into a smile of your own. “I’m glad you do.”

Jungkook looks at the Claddagh again and smiles heartily.

His heart aches with so much yearning and longing when you go back to the villa that night, spending about three minutes staring at the Claddagh you gifted him that he immediately hangs in his key holder. Jungkook thinks he’s going to transfer it to his work bag or the back of his rearview mirror, but his keyholder would do for now.

You love him alright, certainly not the way he does, but it’s enough for him.

[ DAY 2 | September 1st, 11:55pm ]

It was not a secret among Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung that Jungkook’s mood considerably plummeted down as soon as Mingyu called you early in the morning that he’d be landing in the afternoon.

Afternoon came, and he tried to suck it up like a grown man – and because as far as you know, they’re both friends. And Mingyu’s your boyfriend. He should be nothing but supportive.

But it was especially hard when you gushed about being excited that he was finally here. It’s been four months since you started seeing each other, two months since you officially dated, but somehow, Jungkook still could not process it.

He knows he’s being unfair. To you and to himself. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the feeling of ugly bitterness that sat in his heart as you told him about how Mingyu rented another villa so you both could room together, effectively taking you away from the rest of your friends.

Of course, you all spent his birthday together – doing tons of water activities in the ocean, eating at the dining hall, and roaming around for some more leisure time, but Jungkook could not help but think that ever since Mingyu’s arrived, you’ve been sticking with him, even taking the time away from the gang to show your boyfriend around the resort.

Even at the villa’s porch where all of you took out your foldable chairs to drink outside, you were with Mingyu, perched on his lap, laughing at the jokes getting thrown around in the circle.

He tried not to look too much at how Mingyu comfortably wrapped one arm around your waist while the other held a drink, how you leaned into his touch, and how easily he blended with the group with his charm.

“Where’d you get the ice cream?” Doyeon asked as Taehyung sat down on his chair with a small bowl of the sweet treat.

“Fridge. Nayeon and I bought it earlier.”

“There’s ice cream?” Mingyu asked, in which Taehyung nodded to. He turned to you. “Do you want it?”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed in confusion. “__’s lactose intolerant.” He noticed everybody suddenly looking at him. Feeling cornered, he drank from his beer to avoid their gazes.

Mingyu, obviously surprised by the declaration, glanced back at you. “Baby, you didn’t tell me that?”

You winced. “It’s not really a big deal.” you waved him off and when you laugh.

“Yeah, she’s stubborn about it. She can inhale five cones in one sitting.” Taehyung said which made everybody laugh. Jungkook knew it was to lighten the mood. So, he laughed as well, even though from his periphery, he could see you giving him daggers through your eyes.

Jungkook doesn’t know why you had to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. Sure, Taehyung’s right about you not taking your lactose intolerance seriously sometimes, but you’ve also gotten into a lot of trouble because of it, hence why you’ve been making conscious efforts to not eat dairy.

The whole day leaves a sour impression on him with Mingyu around. Quite a shame, really, since he started his birthday so well with you taking him to the far-end of the beach to drink and give him a Claddagh.

When the night becomes much darker, Jungkook sits on the terrace near the pool all by himself. Everybody’s fast asleep at this point. He doesn’t know about you, though, ‘cause you’ve probably transferred all your stuff to the other villa Mingyu rented around.

“Hey,”

Jungkook looks at the embodied voice that suddenly calls. He sees it’s Doyeon.

“Hey,” Jungkook smiles, taking the other bottle of beer on the coffee table and offering it to her.

She waves his hand. “Nah, I’ve had enough for the whole day.” Doyeon situates herself on the folding chair next to Jungkook.

Jungkook nods, looking straight ahead to the pool. They sit in comfortable silence for a while until Doyeon speaks.

“Hey, I’m sorry for the last week,”

Jungkook glances at her with a small smile. “What for?”

“For calling you a pussy. And just… being harsh. Had a tough week and your emotional constipation just pissed me off more. You’re still a pussy, but I shouldn’t have rubbed it off your face.” She says.

Jungkook stares at her with parted lips.

“Wow. I don’t know if that’s an actual apology.”

“It’s an apology with a hundred percent realness, you know I don’t baby anybody.”

“Hah,” Jungkook scoffs, amused. “Yeah. Well, you’re right, though. Today’s been…”

Doyeon sighs. “It’s hard on you, right?”

Jungkook can only give her a meaningful smile.

“But you don’t exactly have the right to get jealous… she’s not your girlfriend and you two are not anything,” Doyeon says, and it tugs at Jungkook’s heartstrings. Meanwhile, she looks ahead and continues to speak. “It’s hard when you have all these feelings for someone, but you have to hide it. You just want to show everybody they mean so much to you, but you can’t. It sucks.”

Jungkook thinks she’s still talking about his situation with you but then as he glances at her, she seems to be deep in thought. As if she’s actually speaking from her own experience.

He’s intrigued by that, of course.

“Woah, are you still talking about me?”

That seems to get Doyeon out of her trance.

She rolls his eyes. “Who else would I be talking about?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to say something. You guys have always had the theory that Doyeon has a secret boyfriend. It’s silly at best but sometimes, he thinks it’s true. Doyeon has never been the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, though. She’s tough and she’s frank a lot of times. But she’s the kind of friend who’d call you a bitch in your face but then would go to all the lengths to defend you from everybody.

“Okay.” Jungkook nods, dropping the subject.

“Has she told you yet?” Doyeon asks suddenly.

“What?” He mirrors back, knowing exactly who the she Doyeon’s referring to.

“She’s planning to move in with him some of these days.”

“I…” Jungkook stops, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in water. To say that he’s stunned is an understatement. Obviously, you haven’t told him anything.

“You don’t know.” Doyeon says upon realization.

Jungkook shakes his head. “She didn’t tell me.”

Doyeon lets out a loud sigh. “It’s not really set in stone, though, that’s what she said. But they’re discussing it.”

“Ah.” Jungkook nods and looks ahead at the pool. Another beat of silence, a sip of beer, and then he scoffs. “I really should’ve confessed even way back then, huh?” He laughs but there’s no humor in it.

Doyeon stares at him. “I didn’t tell you about that so you can regret not telling your feelings for her earlier.”

“I didn’t—”

“I told you that so you can move on, Jungkook.”

Jungkook closes his mouth shut.

She looks away. “You remember the time I liked you in med school?”

“Doyeon…” Jungkook’s lips part, not at all expecting for her to bring that up. It’s been so long ago and ever since… Doyeon’s confession, they never really talked about it again.

“Oh my god, look at your face,” She laughs. “God, do you think I still like you? I moved on the day after you rejected me.”

“I didn’t reject you.” Jungkook defensively says.

She rolls her eyes. “I asked you if you were interested and you didn’t say anything. You just looked at me like this,” Doyeon stiffens her body and widens her eyes in a comical rendition of Jungkook’s famous OJO face.

Jungkook can’t help but scoff. “That was the strangest confession that happened to me, though. You told me you liked me in the straightest face ever, I still think it was a cruel prank of some sort.”

Doyeon bursts into laughter, and Jungkook follows along, recalling that time.

“Yeah… that was funny. But… it was real, not a prank at all. I don’t remember why I liked you, though.”

Jungkook looks at her incredulously. “Okay, but that’s actually the most hurtful thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Doyeon rolls her eyes, but there’s a smile on her lips still. “Anyway, I brought it up because that was the same day when I realized you like __. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I confirmed it around the time.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Was really surprised when you told me that. I thought I hid it pretty well.”

“Yeah, but not to me. You know, I don’t even know how __ didn’t figure it out herself. You’d always follow her around and in our study sessions, you always stayed up late with her and was overly attentive. Whenever Taehyung asked you too much, you sort of like reached a point where you just told him to suck it up. But if it was __, you were so patient,” Doyeon giggles. “She had a really hard time with Biochem. I remember you tutoring her all the time.”

“That was…” Jungkook bows his head down, a bit embarrassed at being read like that. “She cried a lot during first year.”

Doyeon purses her lips. “Yeah…”

Both stare ahead again, with nothing to say for a few more seconds. Jungkook continues to sip his bear while Doyeon quietly sits.

“I have this biased notion about Mingyu,” Doyeon speaks up. Jungkook looks at her she continues, “I keep on telling myself, he’s probably gonna fuck up anytime soon – and that’s because deep inside, I still want you and __ together. You know I’ve always wanted you both to be together. It’s hard to see __ struggling with her love life. She almost failed the internship when Eunwoo broke up with her, and I don’t want her to go through that again as her friend. It’s hard, because I can’t do anything about it. I think of you, and how much you love her, and I think you’re good for her… but at the same time, I feel bad for thinking that. Because I can see that Mingyu makes her happy. It’s different with the other guys she dated before him. She’s truly happy with him, and I find it hard to think that Mingyu’s gonna break her heart. He seems… nice… and that he’d be good for her, you know what I mean?”

Jungkook’s quiet, processing her words.

Doyeon sighs before she speaks again. “But that hurts you in the process, doesn’t it? Seeing her happy but not with you. You’re both my friends and I’m in the position where it’s hard for me to situate myself in a certain place. Because I want __ to be happy, but I also want you to be happy – but your happiness is interconnected and it’s… tricky. It’s a tricky situation.”

Jungkook doesn’t realize that he’s gripping the neck of the bottle quite tightly at Doyeon’s words, but he listens.

“I don’t normally say things like this, Jungkook, but I’m your friend so I’m just gonna let this go,” Doyeon finally looks at him, and he meets her gaze. “It hurts me to see you hurting like this. It hurts Taehyung and Nayeon as well, but they won’t say it. Just… just be… just be okay, please?”

Jungkook exhales a sharp, shaky breath.

He knows what Doyeon meant by that. She’s asking him to… find happiness on his own. Happiness that doesn’t lie on __’s reciprocity because with the way things are going, that’s impossible. She’s planning to move in with Mingyu, and most of all, she seems genuinely happy.

“I… I know. Thank you.” Jungkook says, not really knowing what to say.

Doyeon chuckles. “Do you want a hug?”

He looks at her with a smile. “I could use one right now, yeah.”

Doyeon laughs before standing up and going over to where Jungkook sits on his own sun chair. When she steps in front of him, Jungkook wraps his arms around her waist and lets himself rest the side of his head on her stomach, closing his eyes when Doyeon pats the crown of his head.

“Belated happy birthday, Jungkook.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Thanks. You’re unusually mushy today.”

Doyeon pinches his ear slightly which earns her a groan.

The two stay like that for a few more seconds when suddenly, Jungkook hears a familiar voice.

“Oh, h-hey guys,”

Jungkook immediately looks ahead to see you standing from the other side of the terrace, looking at him and Doyeon. At that, Doyeon lets go of him, twisting her body to look in your direction. Jungkook retreats his arms back to his side and smiles to acknowledge you.

“I thought you were sleeping already.” He says.

“Yeah, what brought you here?” Doyeon asks.

You approach them with unusually slow steps, as if reluctant. “Left my wallet here. Just realized it a while ago,” you say. After that, you stop on your tracks. Your gaze falls between them with an unsure smile on your face. “You two drinking?”

“Nah, Jungkook is.” Doyeon says, pointing to the bottle of Smirnoffs on the small table beside Jungkook’s chair. Then, she looks under her own. “Where’d you leave your wallet?”

“Over my chair earlier.” You give her a smile again. But somehow, it looks a bit awkward. A little forced. Jungkook knows you well enough to identify your smiles.

And as he looks at you longer, he realizes you have a certain color on your face, but it’s one of those expressions he can’t read.

“Well,” you blurt out after a beat of silence. Looking around, you go over to where you were sitting earlier then duck. “I think I left it here…” you trail off. Jungkook’s just about to stand up to help as well when you suddenly pull up a brown leather, grinning at both of them. “Yay.”

Jungkook chuckles. “That would’ve been the third wallet you’ll lose this year.”

You mirror his laughter, and Doyeon joins in.

There’s another pause and then hesitantly, you ask, “Did I… uh… disturb something? Or…”

“What?” Doyeon asks with furrowed brows. “No,”

“Ah, okay,” you smile at her and then insert your wallet in your shorts. “Anyway, I’m heading back to Mingyu. The villa he rented is just at the back of ours, so… feel free to visit anytime or whatever.”

“Sure.” Jungkook says. He didn’t mean it to sound clipped and short but he must have unintentionally let the tone slip, as you and Doyeon immediately give him a look. He clears his throat. “I mean, of course. Tomorrow?”

You nod.

You look at him. And then, you point between him and Nayeon. “Are you two staying up here late?”

“Nah, I’m heading to bed actually.” Doyeon says, picking up her phone from the sun lounger.

“Yeah, me too.” Jungkook puts the beer to the coffee table and stands up.

You nod. “Okay, then. Well, good night to you two.”

“Alright, good night. I’ll head out first.” Doyeon says before disappearing into the sliding door that leads straight to the villa’s living room.

You soon turn your heels back to head out as well, but Jungkook calls after you. Turning around, you hum, acknowledging him. “Hm?”

“Good night, stinky.”

You deadpan. “Night, fucker.”

Jungkook laughs, watching your retreating back as you leave.

[ DAY 4 | September 3rd , 3:05 am ]

Jungkook likes to work out when he has a lot in his mind. But sometimes, he opts for jogging or walking around to clear his head.

With the turn of events since Mingyu’s arrival and Doyeon informing him about your plans on furthering your relationship with Mingyu, he finds himself along by the shore at three am with high hopes to clear his mind. It doesn’t give the solution, but it temporarily does the job.

Inserting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he looks ahead at the view of the ocean, trying so hard to shut his head down with overbearing thoughts of you. It’s no use, though, it’s always filled with thoughts of you and you alone.

Jungkook thinks about the time in med school when he thought he was completely over you. It had been after you made it official with Eunwoo two months into seeing him. He thought it would be a “bigger person” thing to do, moving on, that is, after you announced that you got a boyfriend – but then later on, when he slept with other women or had his casual dates, you suddenly popped up in his head randomly, and his heart suddenly ached when Eunwoo would drop by the university to fetch you. He felt ugly bitterness when you smiled too much whenever Eunwoo was brought up in the conversation. He found himself wishing it was him instead – the guy you thought of buying shirts for, the guy you randomly thought of when you saw something at the mall or the park, or the guy you called when you needed anything.

It was that winter break in freshman year when he realized that he loved you, after trying hard to brush his feelings off for you as a mere infatuation because you were gorgeous and smart.

He finds himself thinking about the time when he almost let out his heart when you had a fall-out with Eunwoo during your third year. Thinks about how pathetic he was for thinking that he finally had the chance. It had been when you called him at midnight, crying onto the phone as you asked him if he wasn’t busy. Jungkook had been studying for a Clinical Skill Assessment at that time, but he’d have been a fool to make you feel lonely when you already seemed like you were not fine. So, he had set aside his studying that night and went right over to your place. You told him about how Eunwoo was going cold, how Eunwoo was getting too close to the senior architect at his firm which you’d been having huge arguments about during those days – Jungkook remembered feeling broken at the sight of you crying, could feel himself building up hatred for the guy who was fucking up his chance with the woman he did not deserve. He thought about how he would never do that to you, thought about how he could be better for you – the envy bubbling inside his heart too big to ignore.

Jungkook remembered thinking how he would never fuck up any chances with you, and how Eunwoo was a fucking idiot for even making you feel that way.

That night, he almost kissed you. And the day after that, you avoided him like the plague.

Doyeon told him he was just as much of a big fucking idiot as Eunwoo for doing that. And Jungkook remembered regretting that night, and swearing off to never, ever make a move on you ever again because your avoidance of him made him feel like the biggest fucking piece of shit to ever exist on Earth.

He remembers you didn’t talk to him for about a month. And he remembers fearing that that was finally it.  

Of course, you made up – you’re still in his life. You let him still be in your life even though he betrayed your trust. The trust that lies on the fact that he was your best friend. Someone who was not supposed to take advantage of your vulnerability, someone who did not suddenly try to kiss you when you were at your worst.

It was a memory you two weren’t fond of. Heck, you’ve never ever brought it up not even once since it happened. When you finally talked to him again after that, you did not let him apologize for what he did – just shut him down by saying that you two should just forget about it and never mention it again. You made it clear that you did not want to talk about it – not at all, not in a million years.

Again, Jungkook has had a million attempts to move on. Especially when you got back together with Eunwoo. He did temporarily, when Sora came into the picture. He genuinely did like her, even more than his first girlfriend in college, and he thought he could eventually love her the same way he does you, but Eunwoo suddenly proposed… and his defense came crumbling down. The fear of losing you once again was too overwhelming that he ruined the relationship with Sora because admittedly, he had always been pathetic like that.

Even now that you’re with Mingyu, he’s still pathetic. He still thinks that one day, you can finally look at him. Like, really look at him and feel anything but friendly towards him. It’s extremely pathetic that he keeps on telling himself that your friendship will be enough, but then deep down, it’s not.

Jungkook shuts his eyes close when he feels the cool breeze of the wind hitting his skin under the hoodie. He lets himself stand there for a while, just trying to bask in the surroundings, ignoring the heavy feeling that sits in his heart.

But then he smells a sudden waft of smoke, and he knits his brows as he opens his eyes back again, turning to the direction of the smell.

When he turns back, he sees a familiar figure of a man.

“Mingyu?”

Mingyu glances back at him with the same surprised look on his face, but it disappears just as quickly. Pinching the cigarette between his fingers, he blows smoke in the air and inserts one hand in his shorts.

“Jeon.”

“Still Jeon to you, huh?” Jungkook sneers, walking over to where Mingyu is. “Why are you here?”

Mingyu arches a brow. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Woke up a few minutes ago and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

Taking a hit of his cigarette again, Mingyu shakes his head. “That’s tough.”

“Same with you?” Jungkook asks.

“Nah. Had a discussion with my girlfriend. Just wanted to clear my head.”

Jungkook nods, not saying anything to that. It’s weird that you’ve been fighting a lot lately. He wonders if you’re okay.

Pulling out a pack of Marlboro and a lighter, Mingyu extends them to Jungkook.

He looks down at it and thinks about how this exact thing happened in college. Mingyu always had the pack of cigarettes and the link to the best weed man in college. He used to think they would be fond memories.

But Jungkook shakes his head, looking ahead.

“I quit years ago.” He says. And it is true. He wasn’t much of a smoker and only did it occasionally when he was extremely stressed, but it took him awhile to stop the habit completely, only dropping the cigarettes during second year of med school. Jungkook would say it was due to his own concern about his health – but there was an incident in the same year where you caught him smoking at the uni’s park after a particularly taxing exam, and how you did not hesitate to tell him that you hated – absolutely abhorred – smokers. You said you didn’t care if he smoked, but as a med student he should’ve known better.

He never touched that shit again.

“Changing your ways now?” Mingyu says with a teasing – more like mocking – tone, inserting the pack and lighter back in his pants.

Jungkook shrugs at that, which earns him a scoff from Mingyu.

“Do you smoke around her?” Jungkook suddenly asks.

“Who?”

“__.”

A beat of silence. And then Mingyu laughs.

“No. She doesn’t know I smoke. She doesn’t have to.”

Good. Jungkook thinks. Good that he doesn’t smoke around her. But what did he mean by saying she doesn’t need to know?

“She doesn’t like smokers, you know.” Jungkook tells him.

From his periphery, Jungkook sees Mingyu glancing at him. It takes a while for him to say something.

“You’d know that, huh?”

The dip in his tone makes Jungkook meet his gaze. Suddenly, the smirk on Mingyu’s face is gone, and there’s something behind his eyes that he can’t quite put a finger on.

Jungkook tries to ignore that. “I’ve known her for a long time. The others can also tell you that.” He says, referring to the rest of your friends on the trip.

“You think I don’t know?”

With furrowed brows and growing confusion, Jungkook stares at Mingyu.

“What?”

“That you like my girlfriend.” Mingyu spits the words out like venom in his mouth, but it’s in a way that tells him it’s been sitting with him for far too long. Jungkook’s surprised at the declaration, feels himself being taken aback by the blunt way he said it as if he’s so sure.

But Jungkook doubles down, to Mingyu’s surprise.

“So?”

That obviously wasn’t the answer the other man wanted to hear. So, what? He can dish it, but he can’t take it?

“You’re goddamn pathetic, then.” Mingyu says after awhile, taking a hit on his cigarette again.

It itches the bubbling anger Jungkook has had for him for the past ten years.

“I like __, and I’m not gonna deny that to you,” Jungkook faces him. “But you don’t have to worry about that, because unlike you, I have enough self-respect to not sleep with my friend’s girlfriend.”

It’s another response that Mingyu does not expect. Jungkook also did not mean to let that out. But his tongue glided with the words and he couldn’t help it. Suddenly, memories of junior year in undergrad comes back flashing to him; Jiyeon and Mingyu, fucking in his goddamn bed, his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend.

Jungkook’s already moved on from that. Jiyeon was not a loss, even though she was his first girlfriend – heck, first love even, but she cheated on him. And not just with anybody but his best friend at the time. The worst thing was that Mingyu was completely in on it, and Jungkook doesn’t think he ever felt remorse about what happened back then. Mingyu gave him a half-assed apology the day he walked in on them, even had the gall to “explain” Jiyeon’s side, that apparently, she just wasn’t “feeling it” with Jungkook anymore, and that Mingyu and her had been hitting it off. Jungkook realized it was why Mingyu suddenly came over way too often over at his apartment.

It’s exactly why he never bothered to meet with Mingyu after graduation. Why he was not enthusiastic meeting him at the engagement party.

But that happened so many years ago that he thought Mingyu’s changed. He didn’t want to burst your bubble and tell you what happened between them back then because he’d be the one to ruin the happiness you’ve wished for all these years.

“I see you’re still hung up on that.” Mingyu says after a while. He throws the cigarette away and steps on it with his heel.

Jungkook’s jaw ticks in what he feels is growing rage. “I’ve moved on. I’m just letting you know that even though I like __, I’m never doing what you did back then.”

“You’re such good guy, then?”

“If not cheating makes me a good guy, then maybe I am.” Jungkook shrugs.

“Jiyeon was a bitch. She was never gonna be good for you.” Mingyu suddenly says.

It makes Jungkook seethe. “And so you fucked her?”

“She liked me better than you. Women always liked me more, that’s why I was going through them while your goody-two shoes virgin prude ass was daydreaming about dating to marry.  You remember that, right?” Mingyu looks at him with a mocking stare. “And Jiyeon was smoking hot. She offered, I just delivered. Said you couldn’t make her cum properly. We could have shared her, you know?”

“Fuck you.” Jungkook spits out. He feels enraged and pissed and disgusted all at the same time.

“Are you getting mad?” Mingyu levels him with an infuriating smirk. “You always got a stick up in your ass, Jeon. Kyungmi told me you’re just a regular playboy these days, said it was the effect of your first girlfriend cheating on you. Right now, though, is that just a front to hide your feelings from my girlfriend? A pathetic boy best friend just wanting to be noticed by his hot girl best friend? You play that role so well. Telling me she’s lactose intolerant, she doesn’t like smokers… you want to fuck her so bad it’s laughable because you know you can’t.”

“Don’t… fucking talk about her like that.” Jungkook growls, and he feels blood rushing through his veins.

Mingyu shakes his head. “You know what I thought when I first met her? I was completely interested right away, but when you showed up…” He chuckles in the way that makes Jungkook’s skin prickle. “It just made me want her more.”

“You’re fucked in the head.”

“This fucked in the head guy got the girl you want wanting to commit to him. I don’t know if she told you, but we’re moving in together.”

Jungkook pokes his tongue to his cheek. “You think I won’t tell her about this?”

“You think she’s gonna believe you?” Mingyu fires back. Jungkook closes his mouth, doesn’t really know if he’s confident enough to say yes. That earns him an arrogant smirk from Mingyu. “That’s right, she won’t. I have no doubt she’s gonna choose me over you. Jiyeon has had before. And if you’re gonna fight the same battle again this time, you’ll lose.”

Jungkook regulates his breathing hearing his words. He’s starting to not see clearly, his fist clenching on his side and he knows better than to resort to violence, but Mingyu’s testing his patience.

He’s completely wrong for thinking that he isn’t the same asshole he was back in college. He’s completely wrong for not telling you about him sooner. He’s completely wrong about everything.

Glancing at his hand, Mingyu looks him in the eyes, leaning forward. “You wanna hit me just like how you did back then? You almost fucking killed me when you gave me that head injury that kicked me out of the fucking team.”

The head injury. That fucking head injury. Jungkook was so mad when he found out that he just saw pure red. It wasn’t his best moment – he knows. He lost control and just… went for it. He still regrets doing it – not punching Mingyu – but for losing it when he could’ve shown him that he’d always be the bigger person between them both.

He’s quiet and Mingyu takes that as a win. Scoffing, Mingyu says, “I could’ve reported you to the admin and you could’ve been expelled, and if that happened, you couldn’t have gone to med. You are where you are right now because of me, so don’t fucking show that animosity towards me because you fucking owe me one.”

Jungkook can’t help but laugh. But he does so humorlessly. “You really think that?” He stares at the other guy. “You’re just as delusional as you were back then, Gyu. You think everybody liked you – but that was just because you were a touch-deprived loser who would fuck anything that breathed near him, and I wasn’t. I only entertained women I liked. You thought you were smarter, but I was always the one who got the better and higher grades, even though you studied way harder. Is that why you went with law? So you won’t have to compete with me in the med field? I also know you were pissed as fuck when the captain title was passed on to me instead of you,” Jungkook leans closer as well. “You’ve always thought of yourself so highly, but deep down, you were just an insecure little boy trying to compete with another guy that didn’t even see you as competition because you were that irrelevant.”

Mingyu, in his own fir of rage, grabs Jungkook’s collar, but Jungkook stays in his place, face stoic as Mingyu snarls, “You keep running your mouth while you cry yourself to sleep because those don’t mean anything when I’m the one fucking the love of your life,” Jungkook visibly recoils to that, and when Mingyu notices, he smirks, adding, “Yeah, yeah, you wanna know how __ is in bed? Because you’ll never see her sopping wet when you give her cock. That angelic face of hers… you’ll never know she’s a slut the way that filthy mouth asks me to fuck her harder because I am that goo—”

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Jungkook’s heavy fist suddenly lands on his cheek.

That effectively gets Mingyu to let go of Jungkook’s collar as he loses his balance and steps backwards limply, thumbing the side of his mouth only to see blood.

Whisking away his fist, Jungkook looks at Mingyu with fire in his eyes and venom in his voice when he says, “Don’t you ever fucking dare talk about her like that, you fucking piece of shit.”

The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery white glow over the beach, but the comforting sound of waves and the calm of the surrounding is a contrast to the rising tension between Jungkook and Mingyu.

When Mingyu doesn’t say anything, Jungkook turns on his heel, ready to leave, but suddenly, he feels the back of his shirt getting pulled and being met with a fist right on his cheek, close to his nose. He barely dodges the hit, taken aback by the unexpected attack.

“Fuck you.” Mingyu grits, eyes blazing.

With that, the fight intensifies, with Jungkook throwing a quick jab back. Mingyu retaliates with as much fury, the two of them grappling, their bodies colliding with violent force. Soon, the sound of their grunts and the occasional crash of a punch against flesh is drowned out by the crashing waves.

And then a familiar voice calls their names.

“Jungkook! Mingyu!”

“Oh my god!”

Jungkook’s suddenly being taken away by somebody by his arms, and he realizes it’s Taehyung when he speaks up again once he and Mingyu are off each other.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Taehyung asks incredulously, rightfully shocked at what he’s seen. Jungkook forces his way out of Taehyung’s hold in frustration, wiping the side of his mouth. Mingyu’s on the other side a few inches away being hesitantly held down by Nayeon, who looks at all of them with deep worry in her eyes. Turning to her, Taehyung says, “Call Doyeon and __. They’re sleeping in the same room together at the villa.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Jungkook says, glaring at Taehyung.

He looks at him angrily. “You’re fistfighting with somebody at fuck o’clock in the morning. We’re going to get run off by the police, be thankful we saw you.”

“I-I’ll call Doyeon and __.” Nayeon stutters, reluctantly pulling away from Mingyu and going to the direction of the villas.

When she leaves, Taehyung looks between the two beaten up men, not believing their busted faces. Rubbing his own with his hands in frustration, he looks back at them again, saying, “What the fuck happened to you guys? Why were you fighting?”

“It’s none of your business.” Mingyu says.

Taehyung glances at him with irritation. “None of my business? Fuck off, Kim Mingyu. You joined in on this trip. Everything that happens here is quite literally each other’s business.”

“Tae.”

“I can’t believe you guys,” Taehyung shakes his head, ignoring Jungkook. “Fighting like goddamn immature teenagers… are you not embarrassed?”

Looking away, Jungkook decides to sit on the sand and let Taehyung’s words go from one ear to another. His energy is waning and the rage he had a while ago is just simmering down to… nothing. He feels absolutely empty.

“Jungkook?” He doesn’t realize the steps that were coming towards them were you and Doyeon. It’s obvious that you’ve both been sleeping, still in your pajamas as you rush towards their direction. He looks at you when you call his name, but then suddenly, you turn to Mingyu. “Ming— what happened?”

Jungkook feels his heart break when you come towards Mingyu’s direction first. He knows why you did. He’s your boyfriend, of course you are going to tend to him first.

Suddenly, he remembers what Mingyu said. About you choosing him over Jungkook.

Jungkook didn’t doubt that, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt a little to see it fully realized.

“Jungkook– Jesus Christ,” Doyeon comes over to him and quickly checks his head. With knitted brows, she casts him a look.

“I’m fine.”

She’s about to say something, but then she closes her mouth and then glances at you.

Sighing, she turns to everyone and announces, “Look, let’s just get them back to the villa. Treat their wounds before they get infected.”

“Right.” Taehyung says and then comes over to Jungkook to help Doyeon guide him in walking. He relents first because he doesn’t need their assistance, but Taehyung looks at him and he knows he’s pissed. So, he lets them.

As he tries to subtly look over to where you were, you have your arm around Mingyu’s waist while Nayeon helps guide him as well.

It takes a tedious few minutes to get back to the villa where Doyeon and Taehyung decide to take care of him in his room while Nayeon and you tend to Mingyu back in your room.

Doyeon nor Taehyung doesn’t say anything the whole time. Just let the silence fall in the room as they clean his wounds and put bandages around the cuts on his face and treat his busted lip.

He knows they’ll talk to him in the next few hours. It’s inevitable. But at least they’re sparing him for tonight – or today, since it’s almost four am.

Jungkook regrets not seeing the sunrise.

[ READ BELOW ]

this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene and the continuation of this chapter!

[jenctrl]

birds of a feather*ೃ༄

"that one time when she realised that some people love unconditionally"

warning; from the blackcat!Y/n series, the parts don't need to be read in order! this part contains some hurt/comfort! but it's all sweet :D

“Y/n?” Yunjin mumbled, her cheek pressed against the door as she tried to listen to what was going on behind the door to the feline’s room. 

The morning had been quiet, it wasn’t that Y/n was ever loud, but it had been empty for Yunjin. After not seeing her for almost a whole day, she wanted to see Y/n and be with her, especially today. 

The girl had locked herself in her room yesterday evening and hadn’t come out since then; it was almost lunchtime now. The canine had waited the whole morning, patiently(not really), she had nothing to do today except fitting in the early morning that she had been done a while ago with. 

It wasn’t the first time, Y/n tended to be hot and cold, it wasn’t something Yunjin minded as she knew about the black-and-white world Y/n lived in. There was good and bad, no in-between. The current situation was bad beyond words, it was just as bad for Yunjin, but she dealt with it differently. 

She raised her fist and knocked, there was no answer and nothing more but silence on the other side. Yunjin gently opened the door after knocking, peeking her head inside before opening it wider and fully looking inside. 

Her lower lip jutted out as she stared at Y/n whose back was turned to her, the girl was sitting on the floor. The luggage bags around her were open, but no clothes were inside; the clothes were rather sprawled out around the room, creating a mess that was unusual for Y/n who was organised. 

Y/n preferred to act like certain things didn’t bother her as if she didn’t care because she didn’t. She at least wished she didn’t. Who would have thought that after being proven the same thing over and over again throughout her whole life; one person could come in and alter all of it? Y/n liked when change happened but hated when someone else changed stuff in her life. 

She stared down at the empty bags, glaring at them. She had been sitting in the same spot for what felt like hours but was probably just around an hour as she had woken up not long ago. How could she tell someone about her reasoning when they felt stupid to begin with? 

Yunjin (and her members) would probably understand or try to, but it wasn’t easy. It was scary to be vulnerable and talk about her biggest fears. 

“Can I help?” Yunjin asked, leaning against the frame as she picked on her nails. 

“No.” The answer was cold and simple, that’s usually how the girl’s answers were, but this was different because there was actual distance that Y/n had put between them. 

“But I always help you pack.” The girl reasoned, her hands dropping to her sides in disbelief. 

“No, just leave.” 

All her life she had been taught not to get attached because people would come and go, no one stayed, no one cared, no one truly loved and if they did they would leave without a word. She learned the hard way that it was always better to be alone, to do everything on her own, to not seek comfort or help and only rely on herself. 

She realised a little too late that she had grown attached to the new people around her. She forgot her lessons the second Yunjin stepped in and after a while the same happened with the rest of the members too. 

However, it was different with the girl who sat down beside her on the floor. She hadn’t said it, but she gave in, unable to shut Yunjin out no matter how hard she tried. 

Yunjin stayed silent for a few seconds, her eyes scanning the girl beside her whose chin was resting atop her knees. She never liked it when Y/n fell into a gloom, it made her feel down too. 

“It’s only a month, it will go by quickly.” She tried to look on the bright side. Y/n was being sent overseas for a solo schedule and it would all line up with promotions and garner more attention. 

Only a month away from the highlight of her day, a month away from her comfort, from her safe space, from her home. Yunjin was realising how bad it was. 

They may have been dramatic in the eyes of everyone else, but this was shaking up their world.

Yunjin watched Y/n who huffed and turned her face to the side, being met by the back of her head now. Those weren’t the right words to say. 

Y/n ignored it when Yunjin stood up and walked out of the room. It made her pout as she got what she wanted, to push her away yet it gave her the opposite feeling as she released a long breath to try and get rid of the heaviness. 

Was it that easy for someone to leave? Y/n would know, she liked to leave people behind before they could leave her after getting to know how it felt. Once was enough. 

Another sigh fell from between her lips and she looked back at the empty bags she was supposed to start packing days ago. She had thought that stalling would help her forget and maybe make the problem disappear and she wouldn’t have to go if she hadn’t packed. 

“Okay, we will finish packing later–” Y/n was startled when Yunjin came back inside, it made her look up at the girl who stopped beside her, dropping a bundle of clothes, hoodies and sweaters, right into the luggage in front of her. Yunjin’s scent wafted through the air after they were dropped. “Right now, we need to go to the bookstore to get that book you wanted, I’m even paying.” 

“I’m not dressed.”

“Just get a hoodie and cap,”

Y/n wanted to say no and protest, tell Yunjin to go away, but instead, she pretended to be bothered without putting up a fight when her hands were grabbed. 

The canine took hold of the grumpy feline’s hands and pulled her to her feet to drag her out of her room at last before they left the apartment altogether. It was with a few grumbles and snarky comments, but she knew Y/n better than to think the girl didn’t want this.

She was just too stubborn to show that she wanted it.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“You know…” Yunjin started, trying to figure out the right words to say as she walked behind Y/n through the aisles of the small bookstore. It held an antique vibe to it, located in quite an isolated alley, they had found it a while ago while walking around. 

She got a short hum from Y/n, her eyes on the girl who was in a pair of loose black shorts with a hoodie, cap and slippers to match. Yunjin’s fingers grazed over the spines of the books while admiring everything around her, admiring the way Y/n admired her surroundings as her cat-like eyes curiously gazed around. It made Yunjin smile.

“You’re my Scrump and I don’t want to make you think about whatever is unpleasant, but I don’t want you carrying it all alone…Problems don’t usually disappear without being faced.” 

Yunjin’s heart raced slightly, it was a dangerous game almost. She knew that her Scrump was a tough cookie, but she was soft on the inside despite the outside being hard to crumble. However, it was these words of care that would make Y/n close off instead of open up. 

Y/n pursed her lips and swallowed before biting her lower lip. She hummed, that was all she could do as she pulled the cap down further and stopped. Her eyes looked over the books, already holding three as she reached for a fourth one.

“Mm,” Y/n gave a nod, unsure if she was acknowledging Yunjin’s words or the book she picked up. The strain in her arm disappeared when the books were grabbed from her hold and she turned to look at Yunjin. 

Yunjin tilted her head when Y/n frowned and looked at her with a small scowl, it was unusual to find clear signs of what Y/n was feeling on the outside. It was always masked so well. 

However, Yunjin could always tell how Y/n felt just by looking her in the eye. 

She reached her hand out and the feline clicked her tongue in annoyance when Yunjin pinched her cheek. “You’re too cute at times.” Her hand was pushed away, but she didn’t give up just yet. Y/n tried to squirm away when Yunjin wrapped her arm around her into a struggling half hug with books. “Aww, you need a hug, don’t you?”

“Let go.” Y/n tried to argue, unable to struggle free from the arm around her shoulders.

“No, hug me back and I will,” Yunjin argued back as she stumbled forward, managing to hold her balance and Y/n whose face was buried in her shoulder.

“You’re so annoying.” The feline exclaimed as quietly as possible because they were still in public, but she was getting worked up now. She tried to jump, but Yunjin’s hold around her was too strong. It made her groan when all she got in return was a laugh. 

“Hug me or I’m kissing your whole face.” Yunjin threatened and patiently waited as the girl calmed down and huffed in her hold. 

Y/n got out of the canine’s hold who yelped in pain, stepping away. 

“You bit me.” She accused as she looked at her shoulder, massaging it through her sweatshirt. Her gaze averted to Y/n who was frustratedly fixing her clothes and cap. 

She ignored what the latter said and looked at the book in her hold before showing it to Yunjin who pouted at the indifference on Y/n’s face after causing her pain. 

“Do you–” Y/n started, she usually wasn’t one to suggest these things or admit to wanting to spend time together. She loved being alone, but not lonely. “Wanna read this with me at the park?” 

Yunjin smiled while Y/n looked away, feeling weird and awkward for asking for someone’s time as she wasn’t used to it. Neither was she used to people having time for her.

“If I wanna read a book with you at the park?” Yunjin questioned, but Y/n’s gaze was still glued to the shelf of books beside them. “I would read a million books with you, let’s go pay and get food too.” She ushered, feeling giddy because even if Y/n didn’t say it or showed it differently, Yunjin knew. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Whether with words or silence, they knew how to soothe each other and Y/n felt everything she had put up slowly go away. Yunjin’s presence simply made her realise where she found comfort and who she trusted. That was it at the moment though, she still couldn’t let it out with words, but she could forget about it all for a moment as the canine made the bad go away. 

Yunjin knew that she was getting closer and she refrained from speeding up the process as the physical distance was gone at least. She sighed in contentment through her nose while adjusting her head that rested against Y/n’s who had her head on her shoulder.

The wind blew gently, it wasn’t a breeze that was cold yet it made Y/n sit closer, the older girl’s sweatshirt on her lap to get rid of any goosebumps. The food they ate had been discarded after they finished, sharing a meal and now sharing a novel Y/n had picked out. 

They both sat at a picnic bench that was close to Han River with people being too busy to pay them any mind. It wasn’t often that happened and so they refused to take it for granted just like they refused to take any moment spent together for granted. 

The time they spent together, the memories (good or bad) they created together, the times they thought about the other, talked or texted, in person or across the world, it was all moments to treasure. 

Love came in so many forms and was so hard to truly express, but they just knew what love was in these moments. 

Yunjin held the paperback book for both of them, Y/n’s one hand looped under her arm to flip the pages. The younger’s other hand rested against Yunjin’s leg, drawing patterns on the material of her jeans. There was no need for words to be exchanged in these moments where they dwelled in silence and their bond.

Y/n fought long and hard to find her peace, she refused to give it up and the longer she sat with Yunjin, in her warm presence that she was overly fond of; Y/n realised how much she didn’t want to be away from her comfort. It took so long to find. 

This was exactly why she relied on herself, why she avoided attachment, it was too scary and now she had to go through it all again. 

The canine gasped and lifted her head after Y/n flipped the page and the rest was blank: they finished the novel. The feline grabbed hold of Yunjin’s forearm as she sat up straight and the two turned to look at each other at the same time. 

“Bro.” “That was nuts.” 

“Since when do you say bro?” “And you nuts?” 

Yunjin put the book down and leaned against the backrest of the bench. Another silence occupied them (taking in the book they finished) and Y/n used it to lean back, however, she leaned into Yunjin who wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“Just got shocked enough to say: bro,” Y/n mumbled and looked down at her lap as Yunjin let out a breathless chuckle. She stared at her hands, playing with her fingers and she tried to think about the book a bit more before trying to empty her mind fully because it wasn’t working. 

The canine could sense it, she could tell how Y/n felt even if the girl didn’t say it. The feline’s face was impossible to read, but Yunjin could simply just tell.

Sometimes the simplest gestures or the simplest words worked. She trailed her fingers along Y/n’s arm which was covered by the black hoodie while she stared down at the girl’s hands. 

They had been sitting around for long enough.

“Y/n.”

“Yeah?”

“Your problems will always be my problems too. I will never let you go through it alone.”

Y/n’s silence grew and Yunjin moved her head to try and look at the girl’s face, only catching the little pout on her lips before she faced away from her. The feline’s eyes found their way to the sky and she watched the white fluffy clouds float by and change shapes. 

Why couldn’t she be more like a cloud? To also change the way she was the further down the road she got? 

The canine didn’t avert her gaze though, a small smile tugged on her lips as she watched Y/n who admired the clouds in the sky. With the clouds clouding Y/n right now, she would wither like a flower due to the lack of sunlight, however, Yunjin would blow them away just for her. She’d have time to grow back. 

She never wanted the girl to change, there was no one she could love more, no other version of Y/n than the real her. If she could just find the right words to say it, to let Y/n know that there was perfection in the flaws and the flawless because that’s what made the girl her feline. 

Yunjin was about to say the words, but Y/n got out of her hold and turned to her. It startled Yunjin as the girl stared at her. The feline stared at her for a second or two, blinking and the silence was making the canine nervous. Had she messed up? She only wanted to remind her of it, but not push her to it. She was about to sink into the ground any second. 

“Did you bring a camera?”

Yunjin nodded her head, taking a breath of relief as she quickly reached for her purse. She handed the digital camera to Y/n who used it to capture the clouds in the sky. The latter would get a couple of pictures of the feline later on.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“You have to take this.” Yunjin persisted as she tried to get past Y/n to shove the plushie into the only luggage that was left open.

“There’s no room for it in there,” Y/n argued, grabbing hold of Yunjin’s arm so she wouldn’t walk past her while she sat on the bed. They had spent the past few hours packing which should have been started days ago to make it easier. They made it work though.

“I will make room for Scrump.” She insisted and Y/n grabbed hold of her arm with both hands before pulling Yunjin down with all her might and a huff. Yunjin yelped as she stumbled and fell onto a pile of clothes on the bed, the plushie being taken from her hold. 

“Are you seriously not going to take the Scrump I got you?” The canine asked with sorrow and seriousness laced in her tone. 

Y/n rolled her eyes and looked down at the Scrump plushie in her hands. How could an inanimate object hold so much importance to the younger girl? They never did, but with time things changed, with her members, with Yunjin, somehow every little thing started being important. A plushie felt so important to Y/n that she would feel bad if she put it in the luggage.

“I am taking her–” Y/n mumbled and turned back to reach for the bag she’d have at hand when leaving for the airport in the morning. “Just not in there…idiot.” Yunjin chuckled as she watched Y/n place Scrump in the bag with the other important things she needed at hand.

It warmed Yunjin’s heart, this was what reassured her that each day they took steps forwards and not backwards.

“Can we stay up till late?” Y/n questioned as she somewhat regretted choosing to lock herself in her room all morning as she could have spent all that time with Yunjin. Now it felt like they were short on time and she desperately wanted to be able to make the day longer or be able to rewind and make different choices. 

“I will do anything you want.” She replied without any doubt, her tone back to that cheery one. 

“Why?” Yunjin hummed in confusion, tilting her head as she leaned back against her palms, gazing at Y/n. She didn’t expect a question back, not one like this. The other’s gaze was on Yunjin, but not on her face, avoiding her eyes as she puffed out her cheeks with a shrug.

“Why do you?” Why did Yunjin and everyone around her do so much and care so much for her? It was all so foreign, it was nice but also scary.

“I will do anything you want, follow you anywhere, and give everything to see you smile.” It wasn’t because she had to, but because she wanted to and knowing Y/n did the same for her whether consciously or not made it all worth it. 

The feline was worth it.

“But why?” Y/n emphasised, not understanding why anyone would go out of their way for her. 

How was following her through thick and thin so worth it for Yunjin? For her members? Y/n was there for them, she tried to be at least, but she wasn’t sure if she was enough for them. For anyone. 

The feline felt great and warm when she managed to make the people who were close to her smile, laugh, even cry (for good reasons) and just be there for them. However, she felt like she was nothing but a burden when they did the same for her. Y/n didn’t fit in and therefore didn’t deserve it. 

She had managed to get all these loving and supporting people around her, but she felt like a phony, someone who hadn’t done well or enough to have this much. It wasn’t deserved for an imposter in the home they created. 

Yunjin huffed as she pushed herself up, it made Y/n groan when arms wrapped around her shoulders, squeezing her tightly and holding her close. It washed over her, that warm feeling that made her heartbeat much quicker and she shut her eyes tightly, her back hitting the mattress. 

“Because I love you.” Why did hearing those words make her feel so sentimental?

Yunjin’s legs tangled with hers as the canine lay atop her, arms wrapped around Y/n as she hummed in contentment. The feline bunched up the sheets under her, trying hard to put up walls, to come off as indifferent, but the weight of sincerity and love was crushing it all as she lay limp.

“Why?”

Yunjin hummed as she acknowledged the whisper of a question and she smiled into Y/n’s hair. 

“I don’t need a reason to love you, I just do.” She finally found the right words to say to Y/n, these few words that said so much. That let Y/n know everything Yunjin always wanted to say to her, but never knew how. “Don’t act like you don’t know it, Y/n. We all love you, I love you. You’re nothing but loveable.” 

Yunjin lifted her head at the silence she received, her hands planted on the mattress and the second she did Y/n used a forearm to cover her face from the canine. It made her hand gently reach to her and try to remove it to see the girl, but she whined and grumbled, refusing to show herself.

The canine cooed, seeing how vulnerable it made Y/n. “You’re crying, my little Scrump.” 

“I’m not.” She tried to reply, her voice cracking at the fight she was putting up. 

Y/n couldn’t help it, those simple words meant so much. They made everything wash away and she hadn’t felt this light in her body for a long time. She snivelled, only peeking at Yunjin when the bed dipped beside her as the girl had moved to lay beside her. 

“It’s okay, although it is making me tear up,” Yunjin reassured her, knowing Y/n rarely showed herself at her weakest points, at times when she was vulnerable. It was making her teary-eyed too. 

She grumbled, removing her forearm and turning to finally hug Yunjin who hugged her back. The feline buried her face in her shoulder, bunching up the material of Yunjin’s shirt in her fist as her back was rubbed. It did feel good to hug and hear those words even if she tried to deny it. 

There was a court knock on the door–Yunjin humming out a reply–before it opened and Sakura was the first to peek inside followed by Eunchae, Kazuha and Chaewon. 

“We’re heading to bed, but thought we’d say goodnight and goodbye first,” Sakura explained as Y/n was departing early and wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. 

“Aww, look, she’s crying.” Y/n groaned at Chaewon’s voice and she was about to argue until her body was crushed by the weight of all her members. 

“We will miss you too.” Kazuha teased, making the feline flail her arm to get the girl away, “Shut up, Zuha,” only to get hugged tighter by everyone. 

Y/n did know it in the end, didn’t she? She knew that she was loved and cared for. She just needed a little reminder to remember that she did belong even if at times she was sure that she didn’t. A reminder that they were different.

Yunjin, all her members weren’t leaving, so she didn’t have to worry.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Yunjin woke up the next day in Y/n’s empty bed, it made her heave a sigh first thing in the morning. She stared at the ceiling for a while and thought about yesterday before deciding to think about the coming days up till Y/n’s return. 

The girl turned in the bed to face the room that was tidied up after the mess they had made. A book was on the bed and she reached for it as it hadn’t been there before. To try and distract herself she opened it and flipped past the first few blank pages and whatnot until she got to the official first page.

Yunjin smiled as she read the words that were circled in across the page.

I guess

I love

you

It made her flip to the next page as there were no more words circled in on the first one. 

a lot

Another page was flipped.

thank you

There’s 

nothing more

She knew that Y/n did, she knew the girl better than the feline thought she did. Yunjin was aware that Y/n would struggle to say them–always saying them with different gestures instead–because she simply struggled to outwardly express them. Yunjin didn’t need to hear it to know it.

The canine still kept flipping and she chuckled at the polaroid that fell out, making her pick it up–it was the two of them from last night–and look on the backside.

‘I knew you would keep looking cause you’re annoying’

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[brunchable]

The Stakeout: Day 3 || Steve Rogers x Agent!FReader.

Day One | Two | Four Words: 4.2K Themes/Warnings: Unspoken feelings towards each other. Growing tension. Sexual Attraction. Eventual Smut. Being stuck with each other. Summary: You came too close from being compromised by the enemy target and the first idea you could think of was to K-I-S-S Steve. A/N: Ayo . . . We getting close lmfao.

Tags: @lafrone @moviegurl2002 @haruvalentine4321 @blankmoniker

You slept really well. Last night's sleep was different from the cold, restless nights you’ve been enduring—it’s a comforting warmth, the kind that makes you want to stay curled up in bed for just a little longer.

Your eyes flutter open, and it takes you a moment to realize that you’re still cuddling against Steve. At some point during the night, you must have shifted closer, because your head is now resting on his chest, your arm draped across his stomach. His arm is around you, holding you close, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Hm, this is nice.

For a few heartbeats, you just lie there, your mind still groggy from sleep, trying to process the situation. You can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath you, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. It’s nice. Comforting. But as the haze of sleep begins to lift, the realization of just how close you are—how tangled up you’ve become—hits you like a bucket of cold water.

Your eyes snap open fully, and you quickly lift your head, your heart skipping a beat as you realize just how intimately you’re pressed against him. Steve’s eyes flutter open at the sudden movement, for a split second, the two of you just stare at each other, wide-eyed and too stunned to move.

Then, in an unspoken agreement, you both scramble to disentangle yourselves, practically leaping out of bed in your haste to put some distance between you.

“Uh, morning,” Steve mumbles, his voice hoarse from sleep, running a hand through his cow-licked hair. He’s clearly flustered, his cheeks tinged with a faint pink that you’ve never seen before.

“Morning,” you reply, your voice a little too high-pitched as you quickly busy yourself with anything that will distract you from the awkwardness of the situation. 

You smooth down your pajamas, tugging at the hem of your tank, anything to avoid looking at him. The silence that follows is deafening. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him moving around the small apartment, his movements a little too purposeful, as if he’s trying just as hard as you are to pretend that nothing unusual happened. He grabs his coffee mug, but his hands are a bit too shaky, and he nearly spills it as he pours himself a cup.

You decide to follow his lead, grabbing your own mug and pouring yourself some coffee. The routine of it, the familiar motions, help to steady your nerves, but you can still feel the aftershocks of that moment in bed, the way your heart refuses to calm down.

“So,” Steve begins awkwardly, clearing his throat as he finally glances in your direction, though he quickly looks away. “We should probably check in with Fury?” 

You latch onto the change in subject with relief, eager to focus on something—anything—other than the fact that you woke up in his arms. 

“Yeah,” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. “He probably needs to know the report for yesterday.”

Steve nods, still avoiding your gaze as he takes a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, that’s… that’s what I was thinking too.”

There’s a brief, awkward silence where you both just stand there, holding your mugs like they’re shields against the morning’s awkwardness.

“So, um…” You gesture vaguely with your mug, trying to find something to say that isn’t related to the fact that you woke up in his arms. “I’ll… get dressed?”

“Right, yeah,” Steve says quickly, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “Good idea. I’ll, uh… I’ll do that too. I mean, not with you. Separately. I’ll get dressed separately. In another room. You know what, I'll just turn around.”

You can’t help but laugh at how flustered he sounds. “Steve—”

But he’s already turning his back to you, his posture stiff with awkwardness. “No, no, I’ll just… I’ll give you some privacy.”

You roll your eyes playfully as you reach for your clothes. “You’re a real gentleman, Rogers. Not even gonna sneak a peek?”

Steve nearly chokes on his coffee, his face turning a deeper shade of pink. “I—uh—no! Of course not!”

“Relax, I’m just messing with you. You can turn back around once I’m dressed.” You grin, enjoying how easy it is to fluster him.

“Right, yeah. I’ll just… stare at the wall,” he mutters, clearly trying to regain his composure.

As you change into your clothes, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself at the absurdity of the situation. Here you are, two highly trained professionals, acting like awkward teenagers. It’s almost endearing.

Finally, you finish getting dressed and clear your throat. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

Steve turns back around, looking relieved that the ordeal is over. “Great. I’ll, uh… get ready too.”

You nod, giving him a little more space as he quickly grabs his clothes and starts to change. This time, you’re the one turning away, focusing intently on your coffee as you try not to think about how nice it would be to wake up like that every day.

“So,” Steve says again as he pulls on his shirt, “about checking in with Fury…”

“Yeah, we’ll do that after we… you know, finish getting ready,” you reply, trying to sound casual.

“Right,” he agrees, but then hesitates. “And, uh… about this morning… I just want to say…”

You brace yourself, expecting another round of awkward apologies, but instead, he surprises you.

“It was nice,” he says softly, his voice sincere. “Waking up like that. I mean, not that I—well, you know what I mean.”

You’re caught off guard by his honesty, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. But then you smile, feeling a warmth spread through you that has nothing to do with the coffee.

“Yeah, it was,” you mumble, your tone softening. “It was… nice.”

× × × ×

After a quick meal, you found yourselves back at your posts, watching the building across the street with the same careful attention you’d maintained the past few days. The day was quiet, the hours dragging by with little to show for it, and you were starting to think that today would be just as uneventful as the days before.

But then, just after lunch, something changed.You spotted movement in one of the windows of the building you were surveilling. It was subtle, just a shadow passing by, but it was enough to put you both on high alert.

“Did you see that?” you whispered, leaning slightly closer to Steve as you strained to get a better look.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice low, tense. “Something's about to happen.”

The two of you watched in silence as the door of the building opened, and a man stepped out. He looked around suspiciously, clearly on edge, and you felt your heart rate pick up. This could be it—the moment you’d been waiting for.

But as the man lingered in the doorway, his gaze sweeping the street, you realized something: he was waiting for something—or someone. You exchanged a quick glance with Steve, your stomach twisting with unease. If he saw you, if he realized you were watching, the entire mission could be compromised.

“We need to stay low,” Steve muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “If he sees us—”

But it was too late. As if sensing your presence, the man’s eyes suddenly snapped to the window where you and Steve were hiding. His gaze zeroed in on you, his expression darkening with suspicion. Your heart stopped, your breath caught in your throat as you locked eyes with him, knowing that you had only seconds to act.

“Kiss me.” You blurted out.

“What?” Steve almost snapped his neck turning his attention towards you.

Panic surged through you, and without thinking, you reached out, grabbing Steve’s shirt and pulling him close. His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t resist. You had to do something—anything—to divert the man’s attention before he realized what you were really doing.

Acting purely on instinct, you tugged Steve down toward you, pressing your lips to his in a sudden, desperate kiss.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis as your lips met his. The tension, the panic, everything melted away, leaving only the heat of the kiss, the way Steve’s body pressed against yours, the way his hand instinctively cupped the back of your head, pulling you closer.

The kiss was meant to be a cover, a way to make the man think you were just a couple stealing a private moment. But it quickly escalated to something deeper.

Steve’s initial shock gave way to a response that sent a shiver down your spine. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that took your breath away, his other arm slipping around your waist to pull you flush against him.

For a moment, you forgot where you were, why you were doing this. All you could think about was the way Steve was kissing you, the way he was holding you, like he never wanted to let go.

Reality crashed back in. You forced yourself to pull back, your breath coming in short, shaky gasps as you broke the kiss. Steve’s eyes were dark, intense, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared at you.

But there was no time to dwell on it. You quickly glanced over Steve’s shoulder, your heart pounding as you checked to see if the man was still watching.

He was.

The man’s eyes were locked on the two of you, his expression still suspicious, but now there was something else in his gaze—something calculating. You could see him weighing his options, trying to decide if what he saw was genuine or a ruse.

“We have to sell it,” you whispered urgently, your voice trembling slightly.

Steve’s eyes flicked to the window, understanding immediately. Without hesitation, his hand buried itself in your hair and tilted your head back, taking your lips, his tongue slid silkily within the warmth of yours. 

Your hands find themselves on the back of his neck, and a moan vibrates low in your throat as his tongue invades your mouth, his taste unfamiliar and darkly seductive at the same time. This kiss was slower, more deliberate, really trying to convince the man watching that this was real—that you were just a couple, too wrapped up in each other to notice anything else.

You tried not to get in too deep, but it was nearly impossible when Steve was kissing you like this. He groans, his hand slid to the small of your back, pulling you even closer. A soft gasp escaped you and Steve used the opportunity to deepen his kiss. You feel the growing tension in his powerful body. His breathing speeds up, and his kiss turns hard, devouring, making your body throb in response. Your hips began to grind on his still covered cock, instinctively, while pressing himself against you, gripping your hip.

You risked another glance out of the corner of your eye. You tried to turn your head, but Steve claimed your mouth again. You couldn’t prevent the low moan of pleasure that escaped you as he continued to escalate. Your body begins to pulse in anticipation, your nipples tightening under the fabric of your shirt. 

The man was still there, but his suspicion seemed to be wavering. He hesitated, his gaze narrowing as he watched you both, but then he shook his head slightly, as if dismissing the idea that you were anything other than what you appeared to be. He turned and walked away, disappearing back into the building.

× × × × 

STEVE’S POV

Shit.

Her touch is strangely innocent and uncertain. I can taste her, feel her, and the urge to fuck her is so strong I shudder with it. I know I should stop, push her away, but I can’t. Her kiss is the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt. When I think I can’t bear much more, her hot little mouth moves to my jaw and then trails down my neck, kissing and nibbling with the same torturous gentleness. Her hands release my face and slide down my body, her fingers closing around the bottom edge of my shirt.

She begins to lift my shirt, and I groan as her knuckles brush against my naked sides, her touch leaving my skin burning in its wake. 

“Y/N . . .” I suck in my breath as she scoots down and kneels between my spread legs, her face at the level of my navel. “Y/N, you need to stop teasing me.” 

She ignores my directive, keeping my shirt bunched up. 

“Who’s teasing?” she whispers, looking up at me. And before I can respond, she leans in and places a warm, damp kiss on my stomach. 

Fuck. 

My entire body jerks, my balls tightening on a savage surge of lust. The sight of her kneeling there pushes my buttons in all the wrong ways, calling to my darkest desires. My hands knot into fists, and I take short, deep breaths, reminding myself that we're working right now. We need to be on high alert.

Except she’s licking my stomach now. Fucking licking it. Tracing each muscle indentation with her tongue, like she’s trying to imprint it on her memory. 

“Y/N.” My voice is hoarse. “That’s enough. He's gone.” 

She pulls back, looking up at me through those long, thick lashes of hers, “Are you sure?” she murmurs, still not letting go of my shirt. “Because I think I want more.” 

And leaning in again, she scrapes her teeth over my lower abs, then sucks on the spot, her mouth hot and wet on my bare skin. Skin that’s right next to the throbbing cock still confined in my pants. 

I see Y/N smile deepen as her eyes flick to the bulge in my jeans. The little witch knows exactly what she’s doing to me, what kind of effect she’s having on my body.

Fucking hell.

“Y/N . . .” I can barely form the words, my fingers digging into the window sill in an effort not to grab her. She release my shirt and fiddles with my belt buckle instead—

Bee-Beep. Bee-Beep

The beeping of the satellite phone was like a force that drove me back to reality, shattering the charged atmosphere that had wrapped around us. My mind was still clouded with the intense desire Y/N had stirred in me, but I forced myself to focus, to shove it all aside. I nearly tripped over my own feet as I scrambled for the phone, my heart hammering in my chest.

I clicked the button, bringing the phone to my ear, my breath still coming too fast. “Hello… Fury, yes,” I managed, my voice rough with the remnants of lust that hadn’t fully faded. 

As I spoke, I shot a glance at Y/N, who had moved to lean against the window, her arms crossed and her gaze avoiding mine. The tension between us was still thick, lingering in the air, but it was cut by the sharp edge of Fury’s voice on the other end of the line.

Fury didn’t waste any time. “Rogers, we’ve got a situation. A high-priority operative is heading your way. I’m sending you the details now. Be prepared to change your plans at a moment’s notice.”

Fury’s tone was sharp, no room for error. “And Rogers… don’t let your guard down. This guy is dangerous. Expect the unexpected.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, the line going dead a second later. I lowered the phone, my mind racing to process everything at once. The surge of desire, the need for control, the impending threat—everything was clashing inside me. I turned back to Y/N, who was still watching me, with an unreadable expression.

× × × ×

Your POV

Steve hastily ran towards the phone, almost tripping over his feet as he tried to reach for it just in time. He clicks the button and picks up, “Hello. . . Fury, yes.” Steve gives you a stern glance as you stood up and leaned on the window with your arms now crossed

“Yes, sir.” Steve replied to the phone firmly before hanging up the phone. Steve sighed and tossed the phone on the table. 

The silence that followed was painful, punctuated only by the sound of Steve’s pacing as he moved back and forth across the small room. The shift in his demeanor was jarring—gone was the man who had been just moments away from losing control with you, replaced by the disciplined soldier, all focus and intense. It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over the both of you, extinguishing the heat of the moment.

Your arms crossed tighter over your chest as you leaned against the window, your mind racing with regret and confusion. What the hell was I thinking? The question echoed in your mind, over and over again, with no clear answer. 

The desire that had driven you to push him that far, to test the boundaries of your partnership, now seemed reckless, foolish even. You could barely stand to look at Steve, not with the way he was pacing, his mind clearly focused on the mission and nothing else.

He stopped suddenly, his hand still on his hip, and let out a long sigh. He turned to you, the sternness was still there, and you braced yourself for whatever he was going to say.

“Y/N,” he started, his voice low but firm, “we need to talk about what just happened.”

You bit your lip, not sure if you were ready for this conversation, but knowing you couldn’t avoid it. 

“I know,” you replied, your voice quieter than you intended. “I… I’m sorry, Steve. That was out of line. I don’t know what came over me.”

Steve shook his head, stepping closer, his eyes locking onto yours. “Don’t apologize. I’m just as responsible for what happened. But I need to be clear about something—this mission, our focus, it can’t be compromised. Not by anything, even… this.”

“I know. You’re right. I lost sight of that for a moment, but it won’t happen again.” You nodded, your throat tight as you struggled to find the right words. 

He studied you for a long moment, his expression softening just slightly, as if he could see the turmoil you were feeling. “We’re both under a lot of pressure, and things like this… they happen. We can’t afford any distractions alright?”

“I understand,” you said, meeting his gaze head-on. “I’ll stay focused. I won’t let this interfere with the mission.”

He took a deep breath, as if steadying himself. “Once this is over, we’ll figure out what to do about… us. But for now, we have to push it aside.”

“Okay,” you agreed, though the words felt heavy on your tongue. “We’ll deal with it later.”

He gave you a small, tight-lipped smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Right. Now, let’s get back to work.”

The room fell into silence again, but this time it was different. The weight of what had happened, and what had almost happened, lingered in the air between you. 

As Steve turned back to the table, gathering his gear, you couldn’t help but glance at him out of the corner of your eye. You wanted to reach out, to say something, anything that might ease the tension between you, but the words wouldn’t come.

So instead, you followed his lead, forcing yourself to focus on the task at hand. The mission was all that mattered now. Everything else would have to wait. But deep down, you knew that once this was all over, there would be no going back to the way things were. The line had been crossed, and nothing would ever be the same.

× × × ×

The night dragged on, the silence between you and Steve almost as heavy as the darkness that filled the room. After Fury’s call, you both took up positions by the window, watching the building next door with unwavering focus. But as the hours ticked by with no sign of movement, the tension began to ease, replaced by a bone-deep weariness.

It was now 3 a.m., and nothing had happened. Not even the slightest flicker of light or shadow from the target’s location. The adrenaline that had kept you alert earlier in the night had long since faded, leaving you fighting to keep your eyes open. You shifted slightly, trying to push away the fatigue that was pulling you under, but it was no use. You tried to stay alert, tried to keep your eyes open and your focus on the mission, but your body had other plans. You found yourself nodding off, your head dipping lower each time, only to snap back up as you jolted awake, determined not to let sleep overtake you.

But the battle was futile. Each time your eyes closed, they stayed shut a little longer. The room around you blurred into shadows, and before you knew it, your head rested against the back of the chair, and you were drifting off completely.

STEVE'S POV

I watched as Y/N finally gave in to sleep, her head resting against the back of the chair, her breathing becoming slow and even. She’d fought so hard to stay awake, to keep watch alongside me, but it was clear she couldn’t hold out any longer. The day had taken its toll on both of us, but I couldn’t help feeling a surge of protectiveness as I watched her sleep.

I knew she couldn’t stay like this—curled up in an uncomfortable chair, vulnerable to the aches and stiffness that would come when she woke. She needed proper rest, especially with what might lie ahead. Quietly, I stood from my own chair, moving toward her with careful, measured steps.

As I reached her, I hesitated for just a moment, taking in the sight of her peaceful face. Then, gently, I slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her back, lifting her with ease. She stirred slightly as I cradled her against my chest, but she didn’t wake. The trust she had in me, even unconsciously, made something tighten in my chest, but I pushed the feeling aside. There would be time to sort through all of that later.

I reached the bed and slowly lowered her onto it, my movements gentle, careful not to wake her. As I laid her down, she instinctively curled into the blanket, her hand clutching the edge as she settled into the softness. But before I could step back, something held me there, something that made it impossible to look away.

For a long moment, I just stood there, staring down at her. She looked so peaceful, so vulnerable, the usual tension and guardedness gone from her features. The way her lashes rested softly against her cheeks, the slight parting of her lips as she breathed, the delicate curve of her neck—it all captivated me in a way I couldn’t quite explain.

And then, without thinking, I reached out, my fingers brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face. The touch was light, barely there, but it sent a shiver down my spine. My hand lingered, hovering just above her skin, as if part of me was afraid to break the spell of the moment.

God, she was beautiful. Not just in the way she looked, but in everything she was—strong, determined, fiercely loyal. She had this fire inside her that drew me in, made it impossible for me to stay away, even when I knew I should. And now, seeing her like this, so calm and serene, it hit me just how deeply I cared for her.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the emotions I’d been trying to suppress rising to the surface. The urge to lean down, to press a soft kiss to her forehead, to her lips, was almost overwhelming. But I held back, knowing that this wasn’t the time. It wasn’t fair to her, to us, to act on these feelings when so much was at stake.

But standing there, looking down at her, it was impossible not to imagine a different world—one where we weren’t in the middle of a mission, where the dangers weren’t so immediate, where we could be together without fear or hesitation. A world where I could tell her everything that was in my heart, where I could love her the way she deserved to be loved.

The intensity of those thoughts made my breath catch, and I had to force myself to step back, to break the connection. But before I did, I let my fingers trace lightly across her temple, down to her jaw, memorizing the feel of her skin beneath my touch.

“Y/N…” I whispered, so softly that the words barely escaped my lips. But the sound, the feeling, hung in the air between us, charged with all the things I couldn’t say out loud.

She stirred slightly in her sleep, a small sigh escaping her lips, and I froze, watching her settle back into peaceful slumber. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, and I couldn’t help but feel a swell of affection.

Finally, I forced myself to turn away, every step back to the window feeling heavier than the last. I took my seat, resuming my watch, but my mind was far from clear. The image of her sleeping face, the way she looked so content and beautiful, was burned into my mind.

I was in love with her—completely, irrevocably—and there was no going back from that.

[everythingelseisextra]

My Body Is Here

Part Five: Give Yourself A Reason

Part Seven: Lingering in Doorways

Description: A brutal accident leads to a revealing conversation. Warnings: Mention of trafficking, mention of guns and shooting, references to being drugged and withdrawal, skull being cracked (like in canon), references to sexual assault, panic attack, language, use of the word Gypsy for Roma people Word Count: ~3000 Tag List: @theshelbyslimited @zablife @weaponizedvirtue @ttaechi @majesticcmey @optimisticsandwichgladiator @princesssterek @babayaga67 @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28 @look-at-the-soul Author's Note: This is unedited. I have a headache and don't have the energy to go through and fix it. Hope it's not terrible.

You walk out of your house at two in the morning on Friday. You try to separate your thoughts, move through your work as though nothing unusual is happening. In the dark, you exercise the horses, and in the dawn, you return to eat and dress and make yourself presentable. Dressed to impress, with clean jodhpurs and a white collared shirt, you sit to wait for Tommy to appear.

The horses eat their hay, silent in the warm morning air, and birds sing faintly in the few trees that dot this barren countryside. Time trudges past, and you glance at the clock, brow furrowing. He’s usually early like you, greeting the day before it even fully awakens. At eight, you stand and start to pace, worry rushing through you. You haven’t heard from him since the call, and your mind jumps to the worst. You know how pain can feel like pleasure when the blade is sharp enough, and you know how exhilarating the finger on the trigger can be. You pause, take a breath, and try to convince yourself that you’re catastrophizing. 

At nine, you pick up the phone and call him. The line rings, and you stand in trepidation, heart in your throat. Just when you think no one will pick up, the ringing stops, and a female voice speaks. 

“Hello?”

“Hi.” You release a breath. “Is this— who is this?”

“This is Ada Shelby.” 

A spike of relief jolts through you and you speak a little too fast. “Tommy was supposed to meet me this morning. Is everything okay?”

“Who is this?” Ada grows suspicious, her voice losing the warmth it had when she first picked up. “One of Tommy’s women?”

“No— I mean— I guess, technically— but it’s not— we’re not—” You sigh, frustrated. “I’m a friend. That’s all. We were going to go look at horses.”

“You’re the one who sprayed him with a hose.” She softens, and you hear a weak smile in her words. “Right, okay. Well, he was certainly looking forward to it.”

“What happened?” 

“He got in a fight and his skull got cracked.�� She sighs. “Poor Tom. Used cocaine to get him through the day.” 

“What?” Your blood goes cold, your eyes widen, and you feel yourself step back from yourself, an observer of your own reactions. Numbness flows, and you sigh, closing your eyes and tensing your muscles for a moment, working yourself back into your body. Something like panic shoots through you, simultaneously hot like fire and frozen like ice. You wrap your arm around yourself and take a shaky breath. 

“Scared the shit out of me. He could barely keep his head up.”  

“Is he okay?” Your voice shakes. Your hand clenches around the handset.

“Any longer and he would’ve died, but the doctors say he’ll make it through. Just had surgery on him yesterday. I’m taking care of Charles at the moment.”

“Who’s Charles?” Your mind latches onto the least awful thing, trying to sort through all the information you’ve just been given. 

“He’s Tommy’s son.”

“He has a son?” You shake your head. “Sorry. Sorry, but— Jesus Christ, he cracked his skull and made it through a day after?”

“Yeah, well, you know Tom. If he’s made his mind…” 

“Fuck.” You exhale the word, trying to remind yourself how to breathe, how to make yourself calm. “Fuck. Okay. Will they let people visit him?” 

“No, not until later. He wouldn’t even know who you were if you came now.” 

You run a hand through your hair, trying to sort out the next step, some way to move forward knowing this. You can’t go to the track without him. You can’t.

“Okay. Okay, I— I don’t live in town. I need— how can I get to him? What hospital? I can’t ride there, not to a hospital, not now.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “I don’t have a car.”

“And you’re… his friend.” She says the word like she’s never heard it in this context before, like it’s completely new to her. “Just his friend.”

“Yes. Just his friend.”

“You can take a cab into Warwickshire and I’ll meet you there with Arthur and John.” 

“I don’t have…” To Warwickshire is several hours of driving, and you don’t have the money to pay for it.

“What? What don’t you have?”

Shame bubbles up in your throat, but you swallow it down and speak up. “I don’t have the money for that.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure Tom won’t mind if we cover it.”

“I don’t want to be indebted to you.” You shake your head. “I guess I can—”

“No, you won’t be. To be honest, love, I don’t think he cares about that amount.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

She’s quiet for a second, then, quietly; “His house has a name, if that gives you any idea.”

“You’re kidding.” You rub your forehead, completely nonplussed.

“Come to Warwickshire. He’ll need a friendly face when he comes out of it, and he’s not too keen on us at the moment.” 

“Um— okay.” You nod to yourself. “Okay. If he wakes before I get there, tell him I’m coming. Please.”

“I will.” She clears her throat. “See you in a bit.”

“See you.”

The hospital is a cold, concrete building, built more like a prison than anything else. Cave-like hallways flicker with uneven light, and your footsteps echo through them with each step. Around you, the sobs of patients and the creaking of cots consume the frigid air. The faint smell of rubbing alcohol burns your nostrils, and you close your eyes as the nurse leads you down the hall of thick, unforgiving doors. 

John and Arthur and Ada had all gone in before you. They came out thin-lipped and quiet, heads bowed as if at church, like something holy had sent them off. Ada murmured to you not to expect much, and you nodded, sharp anxiety pressing into your chest. Now, the nurse knocks sharply on the door, then opens it.

Her voice echoes around the square, freezing room. “Here she is, Mr. Shelby.”

She nods to you, then turns and walks off, hard-soled shoes clattering on the stone floor. You stand in the doorway, heart in your throat. He’s lying on a cot, and, at the angle, you can see the stitched wound in his skull from the surgery. His head turns slowly, and hazy blue eyes stare over at you, then look away again. 

He speaks to the rest of the room, apparently unable to shift his head for too long, letting his words echo over to you. “Don’t stare.”

“Sorry.” You blink out of your horrified spell and step inside, closing the door behind you. As quietly as you can, you walk over to sit down on a wooden chair next to him. His eyes are surrounded by pale purple, his skin pale and pallid. 

Inexplicably, you want to reach out and touch him, give him some sort of comfort in this cold, all consuming room. He’s talented at communicating in silence, and, right now, you simply don’t have the words to put your thoughts into, don’t have the ability to explain everything you’re feeling. When you were younger, when everything was twisted and terrible, you never knew if you were real unless you were touched. You never knew if you existed to other people until they put their hands on you. 

So, in silence, you reach out and place your hand on his. His skin is cold, calloused in places but fragile in others, and, for a moment, you’re not sure if he’ll respond in kind. His fingers twitch under yours, and then, slowly, he turns his hand and laces his fingers into yours. 

You stay like that, two specks of warmth in a cold, dark place, and you watch his bare chest rise and fall, watch his eyes close. There’s a half-full bottle of morphine on the bedside table, a spoon laying next to it. In this moment, neither of you are whole. You do not complete each other. You are separate, but syncopated, two notes that harmonize. And, for the first time today, you feel calm. 

“Will you come back?” His voice is gravelly as always, but slightly slurred, no longer sharp and commanding. 

“I’ll try. I have the horses, but… I’ll try.” You gently squeeze his hand. “Don’t need you going crazy in this jail cell.”

He squeezes back, weak, his only response. You lean back and close your eyes. Your mind swirls absently, flickering with memories you can’t place your finger on. Moments of intimacy with other people that you never knew the names of. The touch of another that you trust, gentle, loving, a comfort against the world’s atrocities. His hand warms in yours, the touch of skin against skin battling against the frigidity. 

“Thought I would die,” he says quietly. “Thought I would die and the last thing I’d see is that priest’s fucking face.”

“I’m sure your siblings have said this to you, but, if I could, I would kill him myself.” 

“No. Don’t get mixed up in all this.” His eyes remain closed. “Fucks with your head.”

“You think it’d be the first time?” You smile faintly. 

This gets his attention. His eyes open and flick over to you, waiting for an explanation. 

“It wouldn’t. I know what it does to a person.” 

“If you’re smart, you’ll stay away from me.”

“Tommy, you just asked me to come back and see you.” You shift forward in your chair to meet his eyes. “I’m not staying away from you. We’re past that.”

He blinks, and when his eyes open, he’s looking away from you. “I want you to stay.” 

It must be hard for him to admit that, when he desperately wants to keep you at arm’s length. When his instincts say to separate and protect and avoid, but he truly needs something else, something different.

“I can’t. The horses need feeding. I can come back, though. I can probably even stay the night and leave in the morning, if you want.” 

He pulls his hand away from yours and nods. “Go take care of your horses, then.”

You stand, the echo of his hand in yours tingling faintly. “I’ll see you, okay? And, once you’ve recovered, we’ll go get that racehorse.”

His eyes slide closed and he nods faintly. You turn and leave the room, stepping lightly to avoid announcing yourself to every patient in the entire building, and walk back down the long hallway. 

“You have a son.”

At night, the hospital room seems to freeze over. You curl into yourself on your wooden chair, trying to preserve your warmth and keep yourself from shivering. Pale moonlight shines in from the high windows, impossible to open but insistent on allowing in the cold air. 

“Yes. I have a son.” 

“You never mentioned him.” 

He shrugs. He sits up in bed, arms crossed over his bare chest, and he looks down at the blankets covering his lower half, not at you. 

“You also didn’t mention that you have more money than most people know how to do with. You came and looked at my little house and thought— what? What did you think?” 

“I thought nothing. Your money is spent elsewhere.” 

“How could you think nothing? Is that why you wanted to buy Draco? I’m not a charity case, Tommy.”  

He’s quiet.

Irritation heats up in your chest. “I asked you a question.”

“I grew up a gypsy boy with too many brothers and not enough to care for them.” His words are quiet, more refined than a few days ago. “Saw a man beating a horse and went after him with a stick. That man had friends. So, they said, ‘Go away to the war and come back with something.’ Came back with nothing. Built my way up from there. I don’t give a fuck about your earnings.” 

It’s the most he’s spoken in days. You cross your arms, mirroring him, brow furrowed. “Why didn’t you tell me, then? Not about the money, I get that, but about your son?”

He glances at you, then looks back down. His skin has more color in it before, the almost-invisible freckles across it showing in the moonlight. “I wanted you to give me a chance.”

“A chance at what, exactly?” 

He doesn’t answer. His eyes shift to you, those careful, bright eyes flicking over you, as if begging you to read his mind. You can’t.

“Always the mysterious one, aren’t you?” You shake your head, gently pushing his shoulder. His face remains stoic. 

“I looked into you. Asked everyone I knew in France about a girl at a boarding school from America. No one knew you, no one had heard of you. I need to know.” He speaks softly. “I need to know.”

You look away. “Why, Tom? Why do you need to know? It’s not who I am anymore. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“I need to know who you are.” His head tilts, his eyes still fastened resolutely to his legs. “I’ve told you who I am.”

“It’s different.” 

“Tell me how it’s different.”

You bite down on your lip, looking up at the ceiling. “Please, can’t you just trust me?”

“I need to know.” 

“Okay.” A lump forms in your throat, and you don’t even try to swallow it down. “Okay. I’ll tell you. You have to promise me something first.”

He nods.

“Promise me you won’t treat me different. Promise me you won’t treat me like a bomb about to go off.” 

“I promise.” 

“Okay.” You close your eyes, a faint burning sensation behind them. “I guess… It starts with my mom and the man who got her pregnant. I don’t really know what happened. I just know he kept women, rented them out to other men, sent them to other parts of the world.” You glance at him, waiting for a reaction and not getting one. “After I was old enough, which, to him, was when it wouldn’t cause permanent damage, he sent me off to France, where I was kept as… well, I was kept there to be used. There were other girls. One of them taught me how to shoot. I fell in love with her.” Your throat closes and your words grow choked. “When I was fifteen, one of the men that kept control of us beat her to death. I shot him, and I ran. I made it to the streets, hid in alleyways and basements, spent my time half lucid. They kept us drugged, and the withdrawal almost killed me.”

Your lip quivers. Memories drip slowly through your mind. Darkened hotel rooms, the taste of alcohol on your lips, the feeling of your body being broken over and over again, the fogginess that kept you alive, kept you able to do your work. You remember her icing and dressing your wounds. You remember her brushing through your knotted, wild hair. You remember her touch, so gentle compared to a man’s, saving you from your own mind. 

“I ended up working at a racetrack. They barely paid me, and it was hard work, but I was good at it. That’s how I ended up where I am now.”

“Why did you leave France?” His voice stays quiet and even, but not quite unfeeling. There’s a respect to the way he speaks to you now.

“They found me.” A silent tear drips down your cheek. “They found me, and I had to run again. You can’t find any information about me because there is none. I existed in underworlds and living nightmares, and then I was nobody. I’m no one. I’ve never been myself, I’ve just been the things other people want me to be. You can’t find out who I am because not even I know who I am.” 

“You’re not.” 

“What?”

“You’re not no one.” He turns to look at you, blue eyes clearer and softer than you’ve seen them in the last few days, or maybe even since you met him. “You’re someone to me.”

You scoff, wiping another rogue tear from your face. “You barely know me.”

He swings his legs off the side of the bed, one of his knees between yours, and leans forward to meet your eyes. You grow still, the intensity of his attention freezing you. 

“I don’t waste time, do I?” His eyes flick over your face, trying to read you. “Don’t waste time on nobodies, do I? You’re not nobody. Don’t give a shit what happened to you, or who you think you are, or whether you have fucking money or not. You don’t have to hold your head up so high that you forget who the fuck you really are.” 

You sniffle. It’s too much. Your heart pounds in your chest and you find yourself unable to breathe. You shake your head, pushing your chair back from him and standing. “I need to go.”

“No, you don’t. You can—”

“Thomas!” You gasp for breath, tears spilling from your eyes. “If I say I need to go, I need to go.” 

Before he can speak, you’re gone. Head bowed, body trembling, throat closing and lungs on overdrive, you try to silence your panting as you walk down the hallway. You’re fading in and out, failing to pull yourself out of your own head. There are hands on you, gripping at your flesh, trying to hold you. Pandora's Box has opened, and you’re caught in the stream of terror coming from it, stuck, light in the head. You leave the hospital, closing your eyes and repeating to yourself, over and over again. 

My body is here and I am inside.

My body is here and I am inside,

My body is here and I am inside.

[shiftingparadise]

Chrollo x Reader: Take it off

Hi guys, it's been a while. To be honest, I didn't share my stories anymore because I thought they weren't good enough. However, yesterday someone left a really sweat message in Buy Me A Coffee that just made me gain some confidence back. I'll start writing requests again after my holiday this week.

Thank you to everyone who still reads and shares my work.

WARNING: a little smut at the end

Word Count: 2350

“What’s wrong?”, his voice sounded softer than usual. “Nothing”, my body tensed up as the moonlight brushed over our bodies. His arm wrapped around my waist; a sign he wanted me closer. I froze. “What’s wrong?”, his voice sounded a little more demanding. “Nothing”, I curled up into a ball as my hands wrapped around the soft fabric of my pillow. It was quiet for a second as he softly let go. “I can’t help you if you don’t want to talk”, his voice never sounded so fragile. “I don’t need your help”. “Fine”, he almost whispered before turning his back to me. I couldn’t blame him. Feitan had tried talking to me, for weeks now, and I never gave him an explanation. How could I? There wasn’t one. I didn’t know why I felt so cold toward him, why I couldn’t stand his touch anymore. “Get some sleep”, his words tore through the dense atmosphere, “Meeting in the morning”. “Night Fei”, I whispered back as guilt flooded over me. Even after everything, he still cared about me. 

---

“No, that’s not right boss”, I giggled, “You need to hold it like this”. “Oh,” Chrollo kindly looked up at me. “I was wondering why everything seemed upside down”. “You’re messing with me. You’re always reading, I’m sure you know how to hold one properly”. “Is it that obvious?”, his voice sounded calm, but there was this unusual glimmer in his eyes. “You really think I’m that stupid, boss?”, I squeezed my eyes a little. “Not at all”, his smile immediately disappeared, “I’ve never met anyone as intelligent as you”. “That’s a lie”, I playfully grabbed his book, “If I was that smart, you would’ve put me on that mission alongside everyone else. I never get to go-“. “I don’t want you to get hurt”, Chrollo interrupted me, “That’s why I never let you join the ‘big’ missions”. “Huh?”, my eyes widened as my grip around his book tightened. “Forget what I said”, he smiled while softly grabbing his book from my hand, letting his fingers linger a little too long on mine. “Boss”, Feitan coldly interrupted, causing me to blush in shame. “Yes?”, Chrollo’s demeanor changed completely.  “Any blueprints for tomorrow?”. “Phinks has them”, Chrollo coldly replied. “You”, Feitan turned toward me as he noticed I was leaving. “Yes Fei?”, I forced a smile on my face. “Dinner tonight?”. His words pierced through me like a sharp knife. I didn’t want to go to dinner with him. In fact, I didn’t want to do anything with him. “Sure”, I softly replied before leaving. “I’ve seen the way you look at her”, Feitan’s gaze fixed on Chrollo. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Fei”, Chrollo coldly replied. “Tsk”, Feitan couldn’t help but feel jealous. “Maybe you should treat her better”, Chrollo almost whispered as Feitan was leaving. “Boss?”, Feitan could feel a fire spreading through his veins. “Nothing, I’ll see you on the mission”, Chrollo smiled. 

---

“This is a nice place”, you gently adjusted your skirt under the table. “You only deserve nice things”, Feitan’s eyes were glued to the menu. You stayed quiet. Feitan usually never said anything remotely nice to you. It wasn’t until you both ordered that you noticed he seemed nervous. “Are you alright?”, you sweetly smiled. He didn’t respond, instead, he handed you a small box. “Saw this and thought it would look even prettier on you”. “Y-you got something for me?”, your eyes widened. He never got you a present before. “Open”, he nodded towards the box. You slowly opened it, only to find a beautiful bracelet inside. “Pearls”, your eyes lightened up, “My favourite, how did you-“. “I listen”, he softly replied, “Even if you think I don’t”. “But I only said this once when we were walking through the city”. “Like I said”, his eyes never met yours, “I listen”. “Thank you Fei, it looks beautiful”. You could see a small smile on his face.  “Are you ready for the mission tomorrow?”, you took a sip of your wine. “Hm, isn’t that dangerous. Only a small bank. Why aren’t you coming?”. “Boss won’t let me”, your smile disappeared as you remembered his words. “What’s wrong?”, Feitan’s brows drew together. “Nothing”, you once again forced a smile on your face. “Did he say something earlier?”. “N-no of course not, I mean, nothing important”, you smiled before taking another sip. 

It wasn’t worth mentioning. Besides, he didn’t mean it like that, right? He just didn’t want you to get hurt. Big deal. He doesn’t want any of his Spiders to get hurt.

“You’re drunk”, Feitan placed a glass of water on your nightstand. “I’m sorry”, you sighed as you could feel the room spin. “Don’t apologize”, Feitan placed a kiss on your temple, “Sleep”. His touch didn’t feel as bad. “Night Fei”, you murmured before closing your eyes. “Did you have fun tonight?”, his voice sounded unsteady. “Yeah”. “Good”, Feitan’s arm once again wrapped around your waist, and this time you did move closer to him. “Missed your scent”, his nose pressed against the back of your head. You didn’t respond. For some reason, you could only think about Chrollo. What would it feel like if he was the one laying beside you? If he gave you compliments and held you close? You tried to wash away the thoughts with a sip of water, but your mind felt clouded. “Are you okay?”, Feitan gently wrapped his arm around you again. “Yeah, I’m fine”.

---

“I didn’t expect to see you here”. “Huh?”, you looked up, only to see Chrollo sit down in front of you. “Aren’t you supposed to be on that mission right now?”, your eyes widened. “Everyone insisted they’d be fine without me, so I decided to grab some coffee instead”. “Sorry boss, didn’t mean to be rude”, you quickly sat up straight. “Chrollo’s just fine. You don’t need to call me boss”. You couldn’t help but blush. “So, what are you drinking?”, the dark-haired man leaned over and grabbed yours before tasting it. “Delicious”, he smiled while closing his eyes. “I-it’s a Chai Latte”, your cheeks were a strawberry red. “I want the same”, Chrollo signaled the waitress to come over. Your eyes were glued to his face as he ordered. For some reason, you never noticed his smooth skin, or his charming smile, not to mention how pretty he looked in the suit he was wearing. “Is something wrong?”, Chrollo playfully tilted his head as he caught you staring. “N-no”, you hastily looked away, “Sorry boss, I-I mean Chrollo”. He chuckled in response. It was a strange sight to you. Chrollo never seemed this happy to you. During meetings, he was always very serious, only smiling every so often. “So, what are you going to do after this?”. “I was hoping to go to a bookstore. It’s a very old one-“. “Mind if I join you?”, he leaned back in his chair. God, he looked divine like that. “Y-yeah sure”, you shyly responded. 

While walking to the bookstore, he made sure to walk a little behind you, as if he was trying to ready to protect you from any danger. 

“Thanks”, your cheeks turned pink again when he opened the door for you. “Wow”, your eyes lit up when you noticed a whole poetry section. “You like William Blake?”, Chrollo leaned against the bookshelf. “Oh, I love Blake”, your hands eagerly reached for one of his books. “Here”, Chrollo moved behind you while grabbing it for you. His body was almost completely pressed against yours. “T-thank you”, you turned around, but Chrollo didn’t’ move. Your eyes were locked onto the ground, but without any warning, Chrollo softly placed his thumb underneath your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Boss?”, you almost whispered. “God, I love it when you call me that”, Chrollo’s eyes lit up. “That’s why I want you to call me by my name. If you keep calling me boss and looking up at me like that, I don’t know if I can contain myself any longer”. “H-huh?”, your cheeks burning. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?”, Chrollo’s thumb now grazed over your lips. You couldn’t reply. Your nerves got the best of you.  “So innocent”, he chuckled, “How did Feitan even manage to get you? Did he even try?”. Feitan. It felt as if his name was being burned onto your back. “It’s fine”, Chrollo noticed the doubt in your eyes, “I’ll take care of you. I promise-“. “N-no”, you interrupted him, “I’m with Fei”. “And does he make you happy?”, Chrollo’s gaze shifted to your lips.  “He does”, you looked down. “Fine, I’ll be patient”, Chrollo smiled before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. “Let’s grab some take out”, Chrollo moved away from you. “I’ve been craving Chinese”. “Why do you think I’ll go with you?”. “Because”, he smiled before walking to the register. “W-wait-“. “It’s a gift”, Chrollo waived the book in the air. 

---

“No, you’re holding them wrong!”, you giggled as you grabbed his chopsticks. “I’ve been eating with chopsticks all my life”, he softly grabbed them back. “So? You’re holding them wrong!”, you tried to get them back. “Am I?”, Chrollo smirked before grabbing your wrists with one hand and pulling you close. “Hm”, you shyly hummed in response. His other hand cupped your cheek as his thumb wandered to your lips again. Chrollo was tall, way taller than Feitan. You weren’t used to looking up at someone, but you didn’t mind it. “You like pearls?”, Chrollo placed your hand on his cheek. You nodded. “You know Feitan got this because of me?”, Chrollo’s fingers hovered over your bracelet. “H-he did?”, you pulled back a bit. “You really think Feitan knows what you like?”, Chrollo sounded cold. “B-but he said-“. “I saw you in front of a jeweler once. I can’t even describe how your eyes lit up when you saw that necklace”. “Necklace? Y-you noticed?”. “Of course”, Chrollo’s brows pulled together, “You were talking to Fei about them, but he was leaning against the wall. Don’t think he heard you”. “That’s right, we were out with the whole Troupe that day”. “Right”, Chrollo smiled, “I went and bought it the next day, but I couldn’t give it to you”. “You did?”, your eyes widened. “Yeah”, Chrollo slowly got up before grabbing something in his luggage. “I always carry it with me, just in case. Here”, he handed you the box. You didn’t know how to feel. The one time that Feitan made you happy, it was because of Chrollo. To be honest, you felt crushed.

“What’s wrong?”, Chrollo gently wiped a tear from your cheek. “I-I need to go”, you got up. “You aren’t going home alone”, Chrollo grabbed your wrist. “It’s too dangerous”. “I’m a Spider, I know how to protect myself”, you pulled back. “You aren’t going alone”, Chrollo put on his coat. “I want to be alone”. “No, you don’t”, Chrollo got close again, now cupping your cheeks with both his hands. “You want to be comforted, to feel loved. You want someone to care about you”, his lips now closer. “Let me care about you”. You didn’t respond, instead, you softly wrapped your hand around his wrist. Chrollo’s lips finally met yours. His kiss was gentle. It felt as if he was trying to remember this moment forever. “Boss-“. “Don’t call me that”. “I-I’m sorry-“. Chrollo’s breathing got heavier as his hand softly wrapped around your throat.

You softly tugged at his coat, signaling him to take it off. Chrollo picked you up before softly laying you down on the bed. “So pretty”, his eyes glided over your body as he took off his coat and loosened his shirt.  “All mine”, he crawled on the bed, his hair brushing over your forehead. “Take it off”, he grabbed your wrist and held it in front of your face. You didn’t hesitate to take the bracelet off. “Good girl”, Chrollo’s hand started to explore the skin under your shirt. “B-boss”, your voice sounded like music to his ears. “Don’t call me that”, his grip around your waist tightened. “Why not, boss?”, you smirked. “Fuck”, Chrollo softly bit in your neck, “I’m not going to be gentle when you keep testing me like this”. “I don’t want you to”, you arched your back in response. “But I want too. I want our first time to be-“. “Whatever you say, boss”, you looked at him with big, innocent eyes. “Why do you have to act like a brat?”, he smirked. “Because my boss is too soft with me”, you playfully sighed. “Fine”, he clenched his jaw before pinning your wrists above your head, “I’ll give you what you want, spoiled brat”. “Please”, your knees were rubbing against each other. “Beg”, Chrollo pushed his knee between your legs, forcing them to open. “Please, boss. I need you”, you closed your eyes. “Again, and this time you better look at me”, he coldly replied.

So, you obeyed him, “Please, boss. Make me feel good”. After that, Chrollo softly pulled your skirt to your stomach as he pushed your panties to the side. “So wet”, grazed over your most sensitive spot. “Hm”, you softly moaned. “You going to break up with Feitan?”. “Whatever you want, boss”. “After tonight, there’s no going back. You understand that, right? I’m going to mark you, make sure everyone knows you’re mine now”. “Shit”, you arched your back as you  could see him take off his shirt. “You like that, princess?”, he softly lifted yours in response. “No”, he stopped you as he noticed you wanted to undress yourself. “I want to fuck you in that skirt. You’ve been driving me crazy all day. You know it’s way too short, right? I’ll make sure you can never wear that thing again”. “S-sorry boss”, you tried to contain the butterflies in your stomach. “I’ll make sure you’ll never want another man in your life”, Chrollo hummed before he crashed his lips against yours. 

[hecalledme-jagi]

The Ponderings of a Man In Love

I've had this FanLore for Zen strewing in my brain for a little over a year and finally decided to write it out into a one shot!

Enjoy!

What does it mean to experience first love? 

Zen wondered as he watched you doze off beside him to the sound of a movie you both had forgotten about halfway through. He smiled to himself softly, gently brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen over your face, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. The comforting gesture caused you to snuggle further into his side, cozy and loved. Treasured and wanted.

Zen often thought about the meaning of first love when he was with you. He always felt a pang of guilt over dating other girls before you, even if you weren't bothered by it. He knew you were his yesterday, today, and tomorrow--his dusk and dawn. His moon and stars--leaving him with the fact that you weren't his first, which felt wrong in every way imaginable. So there he sat wondering, and really pondering, what it meant to experience first love. Had he experienced it before? If so, that idea devastated him, leaving his heart aching, poking, splintering, and desperately wanting your comforting. Hoping all his wondering meant nothing. 

He snuggled in close, soaking in your warmth, soothing his self-inflicted wounds, nuzzling your hair, blinking back the sting of tears.

Slowly he doze off to the sound of your steady breathing, calming his anxiety. Slowly learning to bask in the simple pleasures of a quiet evening. 

His breathing steadied, finding rhythm with your own, and in complete unison, your chests rose and fell. 

He found his peace in his small basement apartment.

But absolutely and entirely, he found his peace here with you.

And in his slumber, there came a dream. Or, more accurately, a nearly forgotten memory.

Zen was younger here, much younger than you knew him now. His hair barely reached past his shoulders, fashioned into something of a mullet. His leather jacket just a size too big, but in a year's time, it would fit him perfectly. And he stood in a place filled with familiarity. His secret mountain hideout. The view was the same as it had always been, and somehow, that comforted the young boy, here now, and the man he would come to be. 

The cold evening air nipped at his cheeks and nose, a gentle breeze passing through his hair with the faint smell of cigarette smoke. Following the scent with his eyes and nose, he found a scene this young boy very well knew but was far from the scene his adult counterpart adored. There stood a girl who simply wasn't you.

Ji-an, a younger, much more boyish Hyun, recognized with an air of giddiness coating his thoughts, and in like manner, she was viewed with rose-tinted glasses. 

He admired her long black hair as it gently swayed in the passing breeze, her sharp and unusually dark eyes staring down at the view he found so much comfort in, reflecting nothing of the setting sun or the city lights flickering on one at a time. And her lips turned in a slight frown with a lit cigarette in hand. Ji-an was a girl made entirely of mysterious beauty, and for a long time, Hyun might've considered her the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. She was in the same gang as Zen, that's how they had met. She was older than him, but only slightly, maybe sixteen or seventeen. She was a force to be reconned with, a calm before a storm. Freedom and rebellion. Anger and desperation. Loneliness and devastation. But other than that, she was a total mystery. Hyun never knew more about her than she let him see, and maybe that was part of why he clung to her so helplessly. Or maybe it was because he envied her and how free she seemed to be. Maybe he wanted to live reckless abandoned where he was allowed to be who he wanted to be, the way Ji-an seemed to. Or maybe it was because bad habits always seemed more attractive than good ones at the start.

Ji-an sucked on her cigarette, holding the smoke in her throat until it burned. 

“You know,” she began as she turned to look at Hyun, “I think if we had met before everything hit the fan, I would’ve fallen in love with you for real.”

Hyun watched and admired the rugged elegance she exuded. Marvalling, despite how her words cut him deeply. His heart secretly wondering--when will anyone ever truly love me?

“For one thing, you’re a real looker,” she leaned in and kissed Hyun's lips softly, leaving the faintest taste of cigarette smoke and strawberry lip balm on the tip of his tongue. 

Is that all I'll ever be? A pretty face barely worth loving? Another secret wonder he wouldn't discover until much later.

“You’re not so bad of a guy either,” she reached out, with her free hand and gently played with the fringe that hung over his forehead. “If I wasn’t so damaged, I’d probably be able to appreciate that heart of yours,” she poked his chest playfully and with a tone of self-mockery, sucking another puff of cigarette tar into her lungs. 

“But instead, here I am, giving you cigarettes, beer, and bad memories,” she scoffed. 

Hyun took a step closer to Ji-an, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her. He peered into her face, hoping to read the meaning in her words by seeing her expression more clearly, but there was nothing he could see. Her eyes continued to stare dispassionately at the scenic view, and not for a moment did she meet his searching gaze, nor did she acknowledge his presence at her side. Instead, her brow furrowed, and irritation fizzled in her vacant eyes.

"We shouldn't have met," she said, tossing her cigarette onto the ground and stomping it out under her boots. 

Hyun felt his heart drop.

Ji-an turned on her heels and walked towards her motorcycle.

"W.. wait! Ji-an, where are you going?" He called.

There was no answer except the loud roar of a motorcycle engine starting.

"Ji-an!"

She paused, looking towards Hyun, with more emotion in her eyes than Hyun had ever seen before, "Get out of here. Become something." 

And that was it. 

She rode off, the rumbling of her motorcycle fading the farther she got. And Hyun could only watch, confused, lost, and entirely too alone for a boy his age.

Zen jolted awake, beads of cold sweat running down his back and his heart dropping into his stomach, leaving his chest feeling hollow and unbearably lonely until he heard you.

"Hyun?" you said, coming back into the living room with a glass of water, "Are you okay?"

He looked at you, and the frenzy in his eyes became calm. A deep breath entered his lungs, and it was exhaled smoothly.

And that's when his wondering all made sense. 

Zen realized it then as his hysteria calmed at the mere sight of you. He knew then that perhaps in all possibility, before you came and before he had forgotten what life was like in your absence, he would've considered Ji-an his first love experience. And in some way, maybe she was. Maybe she was his first love, but that thought didn't seem to bother him so much anymore. Because maybe love was more about changing than firsts and lasts. 

(Although, admittedly, he was perfectly enchanted by the idea that you would be his last. You would hold all his ending chapters, and perhaps, that was far more important than keeping all his opening phrases.)

Ji-an encouraged his flaws but neglected his strengths. He knew now that they were bad for each other, beasts ravenously hungry for love and acceptance. In love with their shared self-pity. Wanting each other because of the addictive nature of cigarettes, loving the nicotine clinging to their clothes and mingling in their mouths. Loving the faint taste of strawberries after every kiss that made the bitter taste of tobacco seem pleasant and sweet. But even still, she inspired his drive for freedom.

And you? You came and captivated him.

You nurtured his strengths and loved his flaws, and for that, he loved you, but as his feelings began to grow, he wanted to be better for you. He wanted to change. So maybe, just maybe, it was for the best that you came at this moment in his life. You came at the point in his life when he still had room to grow but was mature enough to treasure you wholeheartedly. Perhaps now was the best time to love you--not to say it was the only time he could love you, nor was it the perfect time, for he knew that if he had met you ten years ago or ten years from now, he'd be ready to love you precisely and honestly--so now as Zen looks at you, finally finding his moment of lost peace, he realizes that all this wondering about "first love" was for not because all that matters is that he loves you.

Zen nods, gently grabbing at your waist and pulling you in. He rests his forehead against your torso, hugging your waist tightly.

 "Never better, honey~"

˚✧₊⁎𝒥𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑎⁎⁺˳✧༚

I do not own any characters, all ownership goes to Cheritz. Thanks for reading!

[yanderederee]

SickDay

April 24th, 2004

a/n: THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG PLEASE I DONT CARE IF ITS GOOD JUST TAKE IT PLEASE😩

before … › here! › next…

-almost direct continuation of I’m Rooting for You!-

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

Midnight

After running away from the scene of the brawl yesterday night, you were a little nervous watching your back on the way home. Actually, it was kind of a long way from home.

Unfamiliar with the paths before you, you think to yourself if it’d be a good idea to wait for Baji or Chifuyu to walk you home. It might have been a good idea, but recalling the sequence of events just moments ago, you felt it may be too embarrassing to face them so soon.

Your face began to warm up, which was pleasant against the unsuspecting cold night that was tonight.

Remembering just a few minutes ago, you vividly recall Baji’s pitch black locks falling in frame around his face. You remembers how close you’d gotten to his lips. How you expressed your admiration on the way he fought.

Unable to stop yourself from reminiscing further, you daydreamed of his powerful punches sending his opponent flying feet away.

Couldn’t stop but recall all the similar warning gestures he’s since mirrored. Sticking up for you when spoke badly of you… pretending to be your boyfriend in public to keep flirtatious men away from you…

Baji was subject to protecting you no matter the circumstance.

The thought of being someone’s first priority almost brought tears to your eyes.

And suddenly, a sneeze ripped through your respiratory system.

Ah shit.

Luck really was not on your side tonight. It was dark out, really, dark out. The damn cold weather bit you into an unbearable chill, body already under a decent amount of stress with school starting up, mind being preoccupied with worrying about Baji, and realizing now, you’re damn lost.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

April25th,Morning

Toman won the fight that happened the night before, yet Baji felt none of the winners savory taste.

He was more concerned with how he would have to greet you when you came in for class.

Would you wave at him and ask him about how Sango spent her evening?

Or would you politely smile and ignore him, widening the space between you til nothing, not even relationship between Tutor and Student exist?

While there was no hope for it, a very small part of Baji was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, you would bring up the reason for the almost kiss you two shared.

It was bugging him all day.

That kiss— the almost kiss. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The warmth of your breath, how soft the palms of your hand felt against his cheeks.

—- the twinkle of excitement in your eye.

He remembered every little bit of that moment.

So, coming into class, he was unusually giddy. Even with bruising and other reckless cuts, Baji felt like he was glowing. Victorious after battle, about to show off the efforts of battle to the girl he literally can’t stop thinking about.

Even after coming in extra early to beat you to class, he was shocked to notice you never came in.

The bell rang, and the only seat of the classroom empty was yours.

His blood ran cold with the worst case scenario.

After the scene that happened last night, you were bound to be the face and talk of town.

He felt so fucking stupid.

He would come rushing to your protection without even the drop of a pen—faster than a pen could fall to the ground—would he have eliminated the dangers baring themselves at you.

But when you were out of sight?

How could he know? And now, with you gone from class, static rang loud in his ears.

In an attempt to remain diligent, he pushed the thoughts down. You were smart. You always proved yourself capable one way or another. Maybe you were just a little late? Everyone is human, after all.

First block passes,

then second.

There was no sight of you, and Baji couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m callin it early,” Baji grunted, very grumpy, gathered his bag. “Woah, wait a sec there, where’s the fire?” Ryusei asked.

Baji glared at him. “Don’t play dumb, I ain’t in the mood for your damn jokes today.”

Ryusei immediately slapped a hand over his mouth to hold back a laugh and any further comments.

“What’s wrong?” Chifuyu rose a brow, worried.

“None of your damn business!” Baji bit back, storming out of class during intermission.

“It’s cause his girlfriend isn’t in class,” Ryusei nudged Chifuyu, still confused.

“But yesterday, she had no idea what kind of life Baji was leading.. she’s bound to have questions.” Ryusei hummed. “Probably why she isn’t here right now. To give herself some time to process it all.”

“I guess’so.. is it a good idea for him to go see her then, though?” Chifuyu asked with nerves. “Leave them be,” Ryusei waved off, yawning. “The captain’s instinct are usually right on the nose, I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

Your home was so quiet.

It was always so quiet.

No one was ever home, besides when it was inconvenient for you. So of course, whenever you became sick, they were never there.

When you woke up at 9am, to banging at your door, it’s abrupt and disorienting. God, why was it so bright?

That’s right. School. You’re not there, you realize. You don’t usually sleep in this late, so deeply.

“Just go away,” you groaned, realizing just how awful you feel. “Can’t do this right now.”

But the banging never stopped.

Begrudgingly, you groaned again and started your way to the front door. You didn’t get very far before a thick wave of dizziness hit you. You rammed your body right into the wall, legs supporting you only as best they could while your head spiraled in pain.

The banging never fucking stopped.

“Shut up!” You yelled, overwhelmed. And correctly, you were met with silence. You sighed, relieved. Once you had gathered your bearings, you pulled your feet forward and began for the front door again.

Face to chest, you’re met with a wall of person when you open the door. Too close, you thought before stepping back and looking up at none other than Baji Keisuke.

“Baji? Why aren’t you at school?” you scolded first, a little harshly. You’d forgotten all about your fever for a moment.

Yet he didn’t answer your question.

“I should be asking you that, dumbass.” He said as though he were relieved, if only for a moment.

You were safe, at home.

“You weren’t in class. You’re no good at taking care of yourself, got worried you didn’t make it home safe…’s all.” He shrugged, your vulnerability making him more honest. You chuckled, “I can take care of myself just fine,” closing your eyes for a few moments, a slim moment of peace, before suddenly you felt like air.

“H-hey!” Baji whistled when he caught you from stumbling to the floor. “What kind of joke is that?” Baji yelled at you, though it had small reminiscence of laughter.

Your head rolled around a few times before you could see straight. “Hey, focus. … at me… h-“ you heard him talk, but your head just wouldn’t stop spinning. Rolling, tumbling, your head throbbed.

Baji chose to bite his tongue and simply pull you up into his arms, looking around to realize the house was so still. So cold, with poor ventilation. He quickly makes yourself comfortable on the couch in the room over.

“Don’t try to get up, got that?” He asked you, attempting to gauge your awareness. You hummed, eyes lulling shut and open slowly. “Tired…” you mumbled, shivering toward him, the only heat among the dead wood around you.

It broke Baji’s heart, seeing you so cold, sick, sweaty, tired and overworked. “Stay there, I’m gonna grab some blankets, okay?” He asked once more. Softly, you open your eyes, blinking a few times before he could tell your vision came into focus.

Baji shrieked at the way you looked at him, So sad.

“Come back,” you said softly.

He had absolutely no idea what to do in that moment. Baji’s heart broke at just how bottomlessly sad your gaze was.

So void and lonely, you were finally being comforted at your weakest, by none other than Baji—hair wild and disheveled, sharp eyes making eye contact with you.

He had to be responsible, for your sake. As tempting as it would be to pull you in close and keep you warm directly, he knew the right thing to do now would be to engulf you in blankets, and medicate you.

Baji patted your hand before standing up. “Ain’t listening to the words of’a sick person. No more talking, get some rest.” He looked you over once more, “I’ll be back.”

Making swift work of your home, he searched the closets for spare bedding or blankets. Baji soon found what he was looking for. He took all that he could hold, which was at least four blankets worth, and hoisted them to the living room. The kotatsu blanket’s thickness helped make a good base for a pull-out-couch type of setting.

Keisuke looked over at you, asleep and shivering with only a throw blanket around your shoulders. “C’mere,” Baji caught your attention, trying to get you to get up. Wordlessly, you pull your arms up, motioning for him to lift you. How shameless, he chuckled.

You definitely didn’t have a filter at this point. He answered your silent plea by scooping one arm under your bent knees, and the other under your arms to lift you with ease.

Going to lay you down among the laid out bedding, he’s stuck, he realizes when you aren’t letting him go. “Y-y/n, hey,” Baji tried shaking you off, only to realize you weren’t interested in listening; glossy eyes were instead tracing his features, much to his embarrassment. “What?” He asked.

“Warm..” you mumbled, seemingly ready to drift back off to sleep at any moment.

Baji cleared his throat, attempting to pull you off him. “Hang tight, there’s plenty of bedding here to warm you up, so-“ he tried using rational reasoning, but you mearly groaned at such a notion.

Baji rolled his eyes at how childish you were acting, yet it brought a smile to his face all the same. “Yeah yeah, just stay here.” He said, finally managing to loosen your grip around him and tuck you into the plush below.

“You’re so pretty,” you whispered, clearly delirious. Oh boy, your honesty was killing him. Literally, he felt as though his heart was beating out from his chest. “What?” He asked again.

“It’s silly, I couldn’t stop thinking about just how pretty I thought you were up close, yet you were like a beast when you were fighting.” You laughed dully. “It just.. made me so happy, seeing you actually enjoy yourself like that.”

Baji’s heart fluttered at your words, taking all that he wanted say away from him. Silence broke through the house once more, and by the time Baji found the words he wanted to say, you were dead asleep. Didn’t take much.

Deciding to put the words in his back pocket for later examination, instead spending his time getting to work. While you were cooking in your own body heat under a mass of blankets, fighting off the cold, Keisuke racked his brain on what he could do.

First thing first, you needed medicine.

Right.

Where did you keep the medicine?

He felt no shame raking through the multiple medicine cabinets you (or rather, your parents) had, staking that there wasn’t anything worthy to hide anyway.

And while most would consider Keisuke a failure in the kitchen (he is), he did have the basic skill sets to make a (bland) miso soup, and rice. Warm broth for your throat, and something with substance to fill your stomach. Any strong flavors were sure to make you hurl, he made a half-added excuse for his poor culinary skills.

On a corner table nearby, Baji left a dose of medicine for you, as well as a cold glass of water. He had to make sure you were properly hydrated too. While the rice and soup were simmering, he made quick work to liven up the depressing living area. Opening up the Always closed curtains, he also cracked a window to let in little bits of fresh air.

Making use of a randomly found humidifier, he also made sure to find space to plug that in. Keisuke actually felt kind of proud, after going through a mental check-list of what he should do next.

Checking on you didn’t seem like a bad idea. Shuffling closer, he found you peacefully asleep, though he could Hear the congestion you’d built up.

Definitely going to need some tissues.

Before he ventured for those too, he took a moment to admire your own features. A smile crept up on him again. For some reason, he felt like he can hear your giggles echoing through the empty house. You’re usual jabs when pointing out a mistake he made, or how you’d snicker and gossip with his mom when he was in the other room.

More and more, he imagined you in every scenario, smiling and by his side. Keisuke chuckled when he finally brought himself back to reality, opting to grab those tissues he forgot to bring before. And just as he made it back again, he was greeted with your sat up posture.

“Sup sleepyhead,” Baji called out low, tapping the packaging of the tissues into your lap. “B-Baji?! W-when d-“ but before you could conjure anything more, a fit of coughs ripped out of your chest, heaving you forward to cover your mouth. “Don’t worry about the details, just stay put.” Baji waved off your shocked expression.

With the rice and soup ready, he quickly made a bowl of each and presented them to you on a dinner tray your parents had plenty of. “Get some of that gross stuff out of your system, you sound like an old hag.” He chuckled at your offended gasp. But he was right, congested and backed up as your sinuses were. “I-I’ll be right back!” You mumbled before taking the tissue with you to the bathroom, opting to help clear your nose and throat in private.

After washing your hands, you waddled back into the living room; dizzy, disheveled, and red nosed. “I feel awful…” you admitted in a dragged out tone. “You look awful.” he snickered back, earning a swift jab along his neatly parted hair. “Asshole,” you rolled your eyes, and sat back in your plush fort.

“These for me?”

You asked, pointing to the soup and rice.

“No, I got snacky and decided to raid your fridge. Of corse they’re for you dummy.”

You giggled at him and nodded, looking over the dishes in delight. “Thanks.. I’m starving.” You admitted before going in for the rice immediately. He watched patiently as you ate, properly and slow. Taking half-spoon-fulls rice, you gently dunk the spoon into the bland soup to eat both in one bite. “If you don’t mind, could you check the pantry for the dried konbu? I like my soup with some extra.”

Usually for these kinds of requests, you wouldn’t even bother asking Keisuke to do this for you. But seeing him now, doting and attentive, you almost felt obligated to make the most of it. “I saw some, just a sec.” He nodded, before hoisting himself back up and into the kitchen. True to his word, he brought back your requested item. “Want any more, rice or soup?” He asked, holding out his hand for the bowl. “Soup please, thank you.” You smiled warmly at him. He smiled back.

Once your finished the food, he took the dishes and washed them in your sink. He was much more used to house chores than he let on. Thanks Ryoko! “There’s some medicine on the table over there, make sure to take it!” Baji yelled from the other room.

“You’re so domestic, I could get used to seeing this side of you,” you chuckled upon his return, medicine taken and water cup empty.

“Blah blah, don’t get used to it,” he pinched your nose, unexpectedly making you sneeze a few seconds after. Quick for the tissue again, you glared at him, who only laughed.

“You feeling any better?” He asked, noticing your form shriveling back into the covers. “Mmhm,” you nodded, but your downcast eyes made him think otherwise. “Fever doesn’t seem to have broke yet,” he observed, pressing the back of his finger tips to your cheek, hot and pulsating. “Hang tight, I’ll get you a cold rag.”

Keisuke seemed to fret over all he could. It was touching. Feeling airy again, you shuffled deeper into the blankets, yawning. “Still sleepy? That’s fine, get lots of rest.” Baji returned, bowl of water and rag in hand. “Sure,” you nodded, waiting for him to hand you the rag.

But rather than, he rung the rag of eccess water, and reached over to put the cloth over your forehead for you.

And fuuuuuuuuck, Did it feel like heaven. You moaned innocently, it’s sudden coldness made you feel so at ease.

“Well, I guess you got it from here,” Baji mumbled, looking over the living room he’d set you up in to see if he could do anything further. “Take the next dose of medicine in the next, uh.. two hours? Or was it four… shit,” he grumbled, opting to check the box for the seventh time.

“What time is it?” You asked, eyes too blurry to read the time.

“Just a little past one o’clock.” He answered, laying the next dose of medicine by your refilled water glass.

“You got plans?” You asked, sniffling.

“Well, I already walked out of class, so I’ll probably ditch the rest of the day n’ hang out with Mikey.” Baji answered honestly.

You kept silent for a little while. “If.. you want, I have a bunch of good scary movies we could put on the tv.” You suggested softly.

“But you’ve already done a lot for me today, so don’t feel like you have to or anything,” you added, slowly feeling yourself sinking into the excuse pit the average people-pleaser would.

You couldn’t lie, it was pretty painful having to take care of yourself when you were sick. Often neglecting meals, since nothing sounded digestible. Or opting to stay in bed because grabbing medicine was too much work.

“Thanks for coming to check on me.. it really means a lot for you to have gone out of your way for me like this…”

Baji’s heart stopped when he heard you say that. The smile you added on to the sentence making him feel all the more proud. Sporting a blush of his own, he dropped his bag and settled in.

“What kind of movies we talkin here?”

[genderlessghoul]

I'm sick so this is purely self indulgent

(Please be nice, I don't usually write but I have a lot of ghoul thoughts)

Summary : Phantom gets sick for the first time, Dewdrop decides to take care of him. Nothing more than Ant being an oblivious dumbass and Dew turning into his mom.

Since his first day Top Side, Phantom was always one of the first ghouls awake. He'd already be sitting down at the kitchen table eating his toast when the others would start to slowly appear one by one for eggs or coffee or whatever they needed to start the day.

That morning, Phantom was not up before everyone. In fact he did not even show up at all for breakfast. The unusual change in behavior had one particular fire ghoul worried enough to pay him a visit after his meal.

Dew finds himself in front of the young ghoul's closed door, no light coming from under it and no noise coming from the other side. Maybe Phantom's still asleep. But he's never still asleep at this time.

The fire ghoul knocks after a few seconds of consideration. A small, almost inaudible whimper answers him. He turns the door knob and walks into the room.

The curtains are still closed. There's a faint halo of light emanating from the edges, just enough to cast a dim light on the bed. There lies a truly ridiculous pile of blankets, the only sign of the quintessence ghoul burried within being the gentle rise and fall of said pile. The room, which usually carries Phantom's scent of sunlight and chamomile, smells of something sour.

"Hey..." Dew starts, not quite sure how to handle the situation. He walks closer to the bed as he speaks "What's going on, what's wrong?"

"I don't know" the younger ghoul's voice is shaky and coarse "I just woke up like this. My head feels dizzy, I'm so cold and my nose" he sniffs loudly "it just won't stop leaking."

Now sitting on the edge of the bed, Dew is able to push away enough of the blankets to be able to see Phantom's face and make up the outline of his body. He's curled up on himself, completely shivering.

"Oh shit, I think you might have caught a cold for the first time. I told you to dress up warmer yesterday, it's getting chilly outside."

"How can I catch a temperature?" the tone of absolute confusion in his voice makes the fire ghoul chuckle against his better judgment.

"No baby, it's just a way of saying you got sick. One of the joys of living amongst humans, you can get diseases like them too. It's just a little virus, it'll pass."

"What's a virus?"

Dew's not sure how to answer that question. He's never been one to get into the sciences of it all. He's never been sick himself, one of the pros of being part fire ghoul is that his body runs too hot for most uninvited guests of the sort to thrive.

"I don't... Really know, I've never been sick... I guess it's a thing that lives inside you and tries to like... Kill you?"

"What???" Phantom gives out a truly pathetic squeak and another loud sniff "Am I gonna die? Is that why my nose is leaking, are my insides slowly liquifying?"

"Naaah, takes a whole lot more than a cold to kill a ghoul. But it's gonna royally suck to be alive for a couple days."

"Please just kill me already" the request is accompanied by a series of sad groans as the sick ghoul turns around to bury his head in his pillow.

"Oh don't be so dramatic" Dew gets up the bed and heads towards the door "Stay there, I'll be back."

He hears more groans as he heads into the halway towards the kitchen.

Phantom doesn't move after Dewdrop leaves. His head is in too much of a fuzz, it feels like it's about to explode. He feels truly pathetic and quite frankly gross, laying there with his snot slowly soaking into the pillowcase. When the fire ghoul emerges back in the doorframe, he's carrying a tray with a bowl, a cup, a box and a small container.

"Whas all that?" the quintessence ghoul inquires.

"Sit up" the older ghoul orders. Phantom obeys without arguing but not without a few pathetic whimpers. How dare he be asked to move when he's on the brink of death?

Dew walks back towards the bed and sets the tray on the nightstand before sitting next to his protégé. "That's chicken noodle soup in the bowl. It's the fake kind that come in an envelope but I swear it's just as good. I think the yellow powder's slightly radioactive, it might help kill the virus."

Phantom's eyes go wide and he doesn't have a choice but to explain to him that it's not, in fact, radioactive. The new ghoul is so gullible sometimes. It's adorable.

"The cup's mint tea. Real kind tho, Mountain would probably skin any of us for make tea the wrong way. But you know that. Box is just tissues, it's for your runny nose."

"I thought you said you never got sick?"

"I don't... Why?"

"Well there's a box of it by your bed. Is it in case Rain gets sick?"

"Yup that's it, it's for Rain, enough questions. And that small thing" he grabs the container from the tray and unscrews the lid, putting it directly below the other's nose. The smell is strong, Phantom throws his head back in surprise. "It's to help you breathe better"

Dew dips his fingers into the mixture and rubs it lightly on between the sick ghoul's collar bones. "Thank you"

"You're welcome. Now move over, I need space in there too."

"Hm?"

"Speaking from everyone else's experience, the best way to get over a cold is to cuddle up next to somethin' extra toasty" the quintessence moves enough to allow the older one to settle right next to him. He takes the bowl of soup from the side of the bed and places it carefully in Phantom's lap. "Eat it while it's still warm. Then we can spend all day napping and watching stupid movies, sounds nice?"

"Yeah... Sounds real nice" there the hint of a purr starting up in his chest. Maybe it's not all that bad if he gets the fire ghoul all to himself for an entire day.

[gimmethatagustd]

hi!! it was my birthday yesterday so i decided to come to one of my fav author and request smth :p i was thinking a sub! jk smut where he’s not feeling well and sucks on reader’s tits for comfort ? 👀 idk if u’re comfortable with kinks, but a mommy kink would go sooo well w this 😭 thank you in advance!

antidote | jjk

You know exactly how to make your boyfriend feel better when he's feeling down, but he has his own plans.

» pairing: sub!jungkook x soft dom(f)!reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ | established relationship | pwp | fluffy smut

» wc/date: 2.3k | January 2023

» warnings: mommy kink | praise kink | nipple play | tiddies in general | jk has a tongue piercing 🫣 | jk is the babiest of baby boys but he's also a lil bit of a brat | fingering | cockwarming | unprotected vaginal sex

» notes: i'm ngl i haven't ever written something like this before, so i hope i did it justice and that it was everything you wanted! happy belated birthday, friend 😌💜🎂 i'm honored to be one of your fav authors and write this for you!! it made me really happy to see this request

» masterlist | AO3 | send me ur thots 👅

» what was jai listening to? mmh - kai

“What’s wrong, baby?” 

“Kinda sad,” Jungkook whispers. “Dunno why.” 

The two of you are cuddled in bed, Jungkook lying in between your legs to rest his head on your stomach. You’re not sure how long you’ve been there, all tangled limbs and gentle touches. 

It’s not unusual for your boyfriend to fall into moods like this. While he has always been a bit shy, sometimes feelings overwhelm him. You try to be attentive and you never force him to talk about his feelings unless he wants to. Sometimes it even makes him feel physically unwell, especially when he overworks himself. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You offer, just in case. 

Jungkook shakes his head. The two of you lie on the bed in silence for a few minutes, only the sound of your breathing heard in the room. Jungkook twists his fingers in the hem of your t-shirt, his knuckles occasionally brushing against your skin. 

“Need you close.” 

You almost don’t hear his whisper, but he’s so close and the rumble of his chest against your body signals that he’s talking. When you peer down, he’s avoiding your gaze. You know what he’s asking for without him having to say it; his unwillingness to remove his face from hiding behind his sleeved arm is telling. 

With a small laugh, you give in to his silent request. 

“Come here.” 

Jungkook lets out a small whimper of satisfaction as he scoots closer to you. One of his arms slips beneath you so he can press his hand against the small of your back. The placement forces you to arch your spine and you allow yourself to loosen up in his hold. It feels nice to be enveloped in the warmth of his embrace, lost in the heavy scent of his cologne that makes your nose tingle.  

The thin material of your t-shirt clings to your body, doing nothing to hide the way your nipples harden under Jungkook’s touch. Except, he hasn’t even touched you yet. Not there. 

He must not feel that bad because he’s wearing a cheeky little smirk as he brings his face to your chest. 

“It’s cold in here,” you snap with a playful roll of your eyes, already knowing what he’s thinking. “Don’t give me that look.” 

An unspoken threat you’re both all too familiar with lingers in the air.

Jungkook’s lips pucker into an innocent, albeit exaggerated, pout. From the moment you met him, you knew by his pouty lips that he’d cause you trouble. Those sparkling Bambi eyes are the final nail in the coffin.

But what’s worse than all of his innocence combined is the way Jungkook’s face easily morphs into a sly grin half obstructed by his teeth capturing his bottom lip into a bite as he practically moans, “Yes, mommy.”

You don’t want to admit that you don’t know what to say. Jungkook never teases you. He’s always so compliant and eager to the point of being whiny. You’re the one who finds pleasure in teasing him. 

Stunned into silence, you watch Jungkook lean into your chest. His eyes flutter close as he presses his cheek to your tits before slowly turning his face to run his nose along each mound. His bottom lip gets caught on the fabric of your t-shirt, pulling downward as he moves his face. It’s cute how it exposes his bunny teeth. 

You let out a shuddered breath when Jungkook reaches up with his tattooed hand to squeeze one of your tits— the one he isn’t currently smothering himself with. 

“So soft,” he mumbles, nuzzling your chest. “You’re so warm and safe.” 

Your body tenses when his nose brushes over one of your nipples and Jungkook tightens his grip around your waist. 

“Can I, mommy? Please?” 

Your breath gets caught in your throat when those big, sparkling, innocent eyes shine up at you. He always looks so precious begging, even when he’s being a little shit about it. 

“Mmm, of course. Want my baby boy to feel better.” 

Though, what really has you speechless is the way Jungkook can look at you with such innocence while his teeth graze your hardened nipple through your clothes. He maintains eye contact with you as he unwraps his arm from your waist. Using both hands, he slowly pulls your t-shirt off, tossing it to the floor. 

Jungkook looks tired; now that you’re up close, you can see the bags under his eyes. They make guilt wrack your heart. You haven’t paid enough attention to your baby, somehow letting him work himself ragged. 

There’s no time for feeling sorry, though. Jungkook immediately attaches himself to you. His tongue is hot and wet as he runs it across your nipple. He makes sure to flatten his tongue as he licks you. The technique means he’s able to flick the small, stainless steel ball of his tongue piercing against your nipple. You let out a breathy moan at the sensation. It’s a new one; Jungkook had only recently gotten the piercing. Now that it’s completely healed he’s been having a fun time learning all the ways he can use it beyond just looking pretty. 

Tilting his head, he swirls his tongue around your nipple, puckering his lips to suck your tit into his mouth. He continues massaging the skin with his tongue, every suck of his lips making his lip piercing scrape against your sensitive skin. It doesn’t hurt, only serves as a reminder of how fucking hot your boyfriend is. 

“You’re so adorable, baby boy,” you say softly. When you run your fingers through his fluffy hair he hums against your skin. 

Encouraged, Jungkook snuggles closer to you, one hand gently holding your waist while the other massages the tit he isn’t suckling. You know he loves the praise without having to see how pink his cheeks are, but it’s still nice to see the effect you have on him. It isn’t the only way for you to receive validation, though. Jungkook shifts his body weight and you feel his hard cock press against the inside of your thigh. 

“Mommy.” Jungkook lifts his head to watch you with bright eyes. His lips are swollen and pink. When your eyes drop to admire them, he squirms in your embrace. “Let me be inside you, please?” 

“Will that make you feel better?” You question him with a raised eyebrow, not ready to give in. He squirms again. “Or are you just trying to trick me into fucking you?” 

“No!” Jungkook whines.

“Are you sure?” 

He nods his head hard enough to make his bangs fall into his eyes. You run your fingers through them, brushing them away from his face so you can see his eyes properly again. They’re bright and, paired with his furrowed eyebrows, make his desperation obvious. 

You fight the urge to rip his clothes off right there. Instead, you lean back against the pillows and give him a small smile. 

“Take my underwear off for me?” 

It’s posed as a question but you both know it’s not. Jungkook scrambles to pull the clothing down your legs. His eyes flit between your parted thighs and his own crotch as if he’s trying to decide what to focus on first. 

“Come on, baby boy. Mommy’s cold without you.” 

That gets him moving.  

Jungkook pulls off his sweatshirt and joggers, his briefs flying with them onto the floor. Sometimes you push him to spend more time begging, but today you just want to remove the frown from his beautiful face. 

You try to keep in the moan that builds up in your chest when Jungkook slips a finger inside your pussy. The surprised sound he makes when he finds you already soaking wet is too delicious to not react to, but you keep it together. Even after he slides two more fingers inside of you. Luckily, he keeps a hand on your waist, pressing you into the bed to prevent you from moving if you try to buck your hips. You don’t, though. You know all he’s doing is making sure you’re relaxed enough for his cock. Still, he’s suspiciously maintaining a steady rhythm against your front wall. You’re not complaining, but you know if he keeps it up, you’re going to cum and this is supposed to be about him. 

“Jungkook,” you scold. His eyes widen from getting caught. 

“Sorry, mommy. You’re just so wet…” There’s that cheeky smile again, so sly and deceiving. 

“Don’t make me change my mind, baby.” 

He nods quickly, but you’re not convinced he’s going to behave when he leans forward to roll his hips into yours. Again, you know he’s just prepping by smearing your arousal onto his cock with every movement, but he’s pushing it. A raise of your eyebrows makes him reach between your bodies to finally line his cock with your entrance. It’s cute how his teeth dig into his bottom lip as he slowly bottoms out.

A soft moan slips out of you despite your efforts to stay quiet, but Jungkook only smirks. 

“Feels good,” he says softly as he settles back on top of you. His face finds your chest again, lips wrapping around one of your nipples while his arms wrap around your waist. 

“Good,” you say with a sigh. You return to playing with his hair. “You’re doing so good for mommy, hmm?” 

As much as having Jungkook inside of you while you cuddle is meant to make him feel comfortable and safe, you can’t deny that it’s good for you, too. You like feeling full of him, as close as you possibly can be to him. Coupled with the weight of his body against yours, there’s not much you love more than this. 

The silence between the two of you is comforting, though you occasionally break it to give Jungkook more praise. He hums with satisfaction, and it’s nice to be gentle and vulnerable. 

After a while, Jungkook shifts to adjust the way he’s holding you. The movement forces his hips to press into yours, driving his cock a bit deeper inside of you. The suddenness makes you gasp. 

“Sorry,” he whispers against your throat where his face has migrated. “Arms were falling asleep.” 

You open your mouth to accept his apology, but a moan tumbles out instead of words. Instinctually, you dig your fingers into Jungkook’s scalp to hold onto his hair. 

“Jungkook,” you scold with another gasp. 

He ignores you and continues subtly thrusting into you. It’s slow and deep, his hips barely lifting from yours to dive back into your pussy. He reaches deep inside you, grinding into you with the small circling of his hips. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he pants, lips wet against your throat, but he doesn’t stop moving. 

The slowness of his movements is driving you mad. Your clit has already been throbbing and hot pressed against Jungkook’s pelvic bone while you lay in silence. It doesn’t help that his hands start roaming your sides, squeezing your waist to hold you in place. 

“Mommy, just, please, please let me fuck you.” 

His panting is getting whinier and more high-pitched. Every slow thrust is companied by the neediest chanting of “ahh, ah, ahh” in time with the movement of his hips. 

“Fuck, Jungkook.” You throw your head back when his hips start slapping into you harder. He pulls back, pounding into you with more fervor. 

“I need you,” he practically sobs. His lips scatter kisses down your chest, eventually finding your nipples to suck again. 

By this point he’s fucking into you with full force, one hand squeezing your thigh to hold your leg against his hip. His blunt nails dig into your skin, but you don’t care. You're a moaning mess beneath him. Your plan of having a peaceful moment of intimacy with your boyfriend is shattered. 

“Harder,” you moan, tugging his hair. 

You rip him from your tits to bring his face to yours, crashing your lips into his. It’s nowhere near a proper kiss. The two of you are moaning too much. You keep your mouths hanging open to at least brush against each other, occasionally licking into each other. Jungkook does his best to keep you from inching upwards, but with how hard he’s fucking into you it’s inevitable. 

“Wanna, wanna,” Jungkook digs his teeth into your shoulder. “Wanna make you feel good.” 

You’re already close, so hearing Jungkook’s sweet, whiny promises is all it takes to have you clenching around his cock. You arch into his chest as you cum, doing your best to encourage him to let go, too, in between moans of his name. 

Like the good boy that he is, Jungkook holds out until you’re laid back and boneless in his arms before he cums with the cutest sob of a moan into the crook of your neck. He collapses onto you, arms once again wrapping around your waist to hold you tighter against him. Little hums against your skin tell you that he’s satisfied, but you still ask. 

“Are you feeling okay, baby boy?” His bangs are sweaty, but you don’t stop running your fingers through them. He leans into the touch, so you keep it up. 

“Mhmm,” he hums, pressing a kiss against your neck and raising goosebumps over your already hot skin. “Thank you, mommy.” 

He promises to clean you up after he’s done getting his fill of cuddling. His cock softens inside of you; you’re happy he doesn’t pull out. You both crave closeness, and you’ve got all the time in the world to bask in it.

all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & AO3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

[maitanii]

ABOUT FIRST AND UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTERS

ran haitani x reader | 1.6k words

tw: cursing | mentions of s3x but nothing explicit, just ran being a horny rat | ran haitani | ran haitani being ran haitani | rat haitani | ran haitani giving second hand embarrasment |

a/n: my first time writing something in a second person pov!! hopefully i did a decent job. at this point, i just like to make Ran suffer.

"Rin I'm downstairs, open the door."

"What?" Rindou left the towel on his shoulder after drying the sweat of his face so he could place the phone on his face.

"I'm downstairs at your house, open up, I bring cookies that I made yesterday."

"What are you saying?" Pulling the phone away from his face, he glanced at the time. "Didn't we agree to meet in an hour?"

You finally decided to take a look at the watch on your wrist, realizing instantly that your friend was unfortunately correct.

"Damn, how long is your gym session going to take?"

"Two more series and a shower…" Rindou put his fingers to his chin doing mental calculations "An hour, yes, just as we had calculated."

"You are a bad friend"

"Yes, yes, the worst" The boy laughed. "Well, I think Ran is home, ring the phone and tell him who you are. He doesn't know what your face looks like but he has heard all your sentimental problems,"

"Do you tell my problems to your brother?"

"The phone speaker is a very useful tool, your voice is very strident and the walls of my house are very thin" The mere fact of imagining the expression on your face right now made him smile "Well, I'll see you later. If you wake Ran up give him a couple of cookies, I'm sure that will put him in a good mood"

"Do I have to wake him up?"

When you realized that the conversation was over, you looked around. You didn't even have the wallet to order your coffee at some expensive coffee shop in the area. It was too cold to wait on the porch, so you called the number for the Haitani's apartment. At some point you had to meet the feared and well-known Ran Haitani.

After months of friendship with his little brother, it was natural and bound to happen. But you didn't expect to do it without Rindou in front of you. At least, not after everything Rindou had complained about him.

The door made a sound indicating it was open, at which you raised an eyebrow. Wasn't he even going to ask? In a wealthy neighborhood like the one they were in, they shouldn't underestimate criminals like that. Although, thinking about it, they were the criminals. Walking up the stairs, you grabbed the cardigan and crossed your arms over your chest.

Upstairs, Ran was putting his hair up in a messy bun. Mucho had told him that his "friend" would arrive in a while. Not that his libido was particularly high today, but every once in a while he needed intimate contact to de-stress. When his gang mate told him that one of his friends had an eye on him at a party, Ran thought it would be nice to invite them over to his house sometime. Now that Rindou was in the gym, he had at least one sweet, long hour to enjoy his company.

The doorbell snapped him out of his thoughts. He cracked his fingers and took a deep breath before heading for the door. The figure that greeted him looked familiar, although that was not unusual, Tenjiku always frequented the same night businesses.

"Ran Haitani?"

"That's me"

Letting the new guest in, Ran smiled. Much did not lie when describing that they were pretty.

On the other hand, you decided to leave the bag on one of the coat racks in the living room, under the watchful eyes of the tall man who was leaning over the wall.

"Mucho didn't lie when he said you were very pretty" "Who said what?"

Ran laughed gradually getting closer to you. Wrapping a lock of hair around one of his long fingers, your cheeks began to heat up second by second. Throwing your head back you looked at the man in front of you with a frown.

"What is your problem?

But Ran Haitani did not back down from challenges, he enjoyed them. Mucho hadn't told him anything about you being a difficult person, but who was going to resist his charms?

"Oh come on." Approaching you again, a flirtatious smile appeared on his face. You had to admit, Ran Haitani was charming. But that didn't take away the shiver that ran down your spine when he had tangled his fingers in your hair. "Don't feel like having a good time? There is time until my brother arrives."

If Rindou were to arrive at that moment and take in the situation, you wouldn't know if he would laugh in your face or rip the bow from his brother's head. A mix of both, probably.

Before you knew it, a hand landed on your waist. You winced and your breathing hitched. You didn't know much about perfume, but Ran Haitani smelled very good and very expensive.

"I… I brought cookies."

Breaking away from his body quickly, you quickened your pace until you reached the place where you had left your bag. You weren't comfortable, but you didn't want to put on a show. It was difficult enough to have gained confidence with Rindou to give a bad impression in front of his brother.

"Ah, that's what Mucho meant when he said you were very considerate, I thought he was referring to something else" Holding the tupperware tightly against your chest, you smiled awkwardly after his words. "How about I show you my room?

"Who's Mucho?"

"Hahaha, very funny" One of his big hands grabbed your waist and pushed you slightly down the hall.

"Stop that," you commented annoyed. You began to lose patience with his suggestive touches. Did he do that with every friend of Rindou? Yes, he definetly looked like he did.

"This is your room, isn't it?" Opening the first door that came before your eyes, you rushed inside to get away from Ran. The young man's click of the tongue did not go unnoticed by your ears

"With what?" Suddenly, his breath was very close to your ear again and your nerves began to overflow. When was the last time you had a handsome boy so close?

"Make yourself comfortable" Taking the tupperware out of your hands, he left it on the tidy desk that was in front of one of the walls of the room.

You got absorbed looking at the photos that decorated the shelves, there were so many photos of Rin as a child. You smiled at an image of the two of them, barely 9 years old, feeding a giraffe. But your peace did not last long.

"Why are you looking at my photos when you have me here in the flesh?" Another chill ran down your back.

"Rin looks very funny in this photo, don't you think?"

"Do you know my brother?" Ran raised an eyebrow at your comment.

"Of course, I thought he had already told you about me".

Ran thought about his brother's flings lately without taking his eyes off you. No, he definitely hadn't told him about anyone in particular lately. He didn't feel like arguing with anyone, especially not in a situationlike this. It wouldn't be the first time that he and his brother went out with the same person (never at the same time, they weren't big fans of sharing that kind of experience).

"Whatever." He managed to reach your leg and pull on it. A small scream escaped from your mouth when you fell on top of the young man's legs. Okay, now he was really getting on your nerves.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Ran?"

"Oh?" We are already at the base of the first name" Smiling, he managed to let your body fall on the bed and position himself on top of you, grabbing your wrists with only one hand. In any other situation, that scenario would have made you nervous. But right now, you were nervous for another reason. "Better, now I just want to hear you say it while—"

The sentence didn't finish when the force of your knees reached his crotch. The guttural scream that came from his throat echoed off the walls. His huge body fell off the bed. You knew you should feel afraid in a situation like that, but the laugh that escaped your lips was one of complete satisfaction.

"You should have seen your face!"

"Shut up, idiot, you've left me barren!"

"Am I the idiot?" I don't go around harassing your brother's friends who offer you cookies"

"Mucho told me that you came wanting to see my balls, not to kick them!

"For the third fucking time, who the fuck is Mucho?"

"Hello?" Rindou's voice reached your ears. Both of your heads turned until your eyes looked at each other. The same thought crossed your mind as you two ran up trying to reach Rindou at the same time.

"Rindou, who is this person?" Ran and you exclaimed at the same time.

Rindou looked at his brother, who was leaning slightly forward, one hand on the inside of his thigh and a pained expression, and then at you, with your hair disheveled and your cheeks flushed.

Maybe he should have arrived a bit later.

2 years later

"Happy anniversary guys!" Shion's arms are placed between Ran Haitani's shoulders and yours, squeezing you two against him.

"Thank you brother" patting him on the back. Ran returned to position at your side. You smiled at the action and grabbed his hand.

"Though I find it odd that you still haven't told me how you met. Rindou always laughs when I ask him and never tells me anything". Ran gulped and you laughed.

Grabbing your boyfriend's waist and giving him a kiss on the cheek under Madarame's watchful eye , you gestured for the blonde to come closer to you and pointed your thumb at your partner "It's very simple, I kneed him in the balls."

a/n 2: 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡@luvjiro🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 ily ily you're the best.

[chubbypotatoepie]

Lily’s War (Chapter 4)

Summary: SOE Agent Lily Darlington is unexpectedly demoted from her position and offered a life changing opportunity to become the first female Paratrooper in US history?

Pairing: TBD - The suspense is part of the fun, no?

Warnings: Mentions of violence, language

A/N: Chapter 4 finally here. Please forgive my lateness, but say welcome back to Lily, hopefully with a bang!

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Chapter 4.

Camp Toccoa, 1942. 

It hadn’t been an unusual day by any means, nothing particularly out of pocket had occurred. Yet, as Lily sat hunched over on the cold shower tiles watching the crimson stream of blood circle the drain, she recounted how the day had turned out so very wrong. 

— -

The bunkhouse was filled with the chorus of snoring soldiers broken only by the occasional creek of an ever restless Joe Toye rolling in his cot. All were sleeping soundly, except for Private Lily Darlington who was curled into a ball at the very top of her bed. Gentlestreaks of moonlight had trickled their way through the windows, glinting off a pair of dog tags clasped between her hands partially hidden beneath the covers, her fingers glided over the raised letters as she accosted herself at her inability to control her emotions. She sucked in a silent breath and pulled the blanket over her mouth in attempt to stifle any noise as she endeavoured to catch her breath. It had been a week since she’d last slept through the night without being plagued by a nightmare. It wasn’t unusual for them to hit once a fortnight, even once a week at their worst. She was used to that, she expected that, however lately, she was lucky to go two to three days between them. She hadn’t had a full nights sleep for a week, and it was starting to show. It was causing her to lose her sturdy exterior, she had started to quip back whenever Liebgott made a joke at her expense, and she’d purposefully tripped up Guarnere on the obstacle course the previous day due to his somewhat degrading comments on her performance. 

Each time was the same. Waking up, drenched in her own sweat, a searing pain emanating from her old wound accompanied by the smell of blood still lingering in her nostrils. It was part of the gig, came with the job she had been warned. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she placed her head between them, letting her fingertips graze over the scar as she sat there listening to the cicadas chirping outside the barracks. Their true meaning escaped her, she understood that she would have to be void of all human emotions if she weren’t to let past experiences stay with her, but why they haunted her was a question she had little answers to. It was a miracle that she had kept it to herself this long, how she hadn’t woken any of the men with her gasps or thrashing about. Lily thanked her lucky stars as she ran her hands through her damp hair, the groans from the springs beneath her sending a gentle reminder to maintain the peace within the quiet cabin as she gently knotted up her boots and tied her PT sweater around her waist. 

As she quietly sneaked out of the bunkhouse for some desperately needed air she found herself so lost in her own head that she didn’t notice the pair of eyes on her from across the room watching with a curious intensity.

— - 

“Yeah well I bet you’re regretting it now.” The irritating register of Perconte’s voice filled the latrine as he leant on the wall, half in and half out in the open door way, puffing his way through a lucky strike and scraping at a dirt stain on his shirt. 

“How was I supposed to know he’d hear me.” Luz looked up at his friend with a less than amused look on his face as he sat, back to the wall, tapping the excess ash from his cigarette into the bucket by his feet. 

“Ahh he’s got it out for all of us, yesterday was just your lucky turn.” Perconte answered.

“Last week was my lucky turn too, first time in my life I hope I run out of luck.” Luz said, his forearms on his knees as he took a deep breath of his cigarette. 

“You should be grateful, ain’t nobody been as lucky as Redcoat here, every goddamn day Sobel sees fit to reward her.” Perconte looked towards the girl scrubbing away in the corner, rolling his eyes to her seemingly obliviousness to the two men’s conversation. 

“Ain’t that right Redcoat? Hmmmmm?” Perconte clicked at the girl, trying to pull her attention from the floor. “Ears like a hawk that one” he mock whispered to Luz.

“I bet he can hear me in his sleep.” Luz replied, ignoring the short man’s half hearted attempt to irritate his punishment companion. 

“I bet he can hear you smoking and not scrubbing.” Perconte taunted tipping the sud bucket with his boot. 

Luz replied by flicking his half finished cigarette at the man, grabbing the brush from the wobbly bucket and began to scrub the tiled floor again, a little harder than necessary, his eyes conveying a less than amused look. 

“Well I’m off to enjoy this sunny afternoon, a free pass afternoon, do whatever the hell I feel like.” Perconte taunted.

Luz reached for the nearby bucket in retaliation, “you’re gonna be doing it soaking wet if you don’t get outta here” grinning to himself as Perconte made his way back out into the glorious sunshine, leaving Luz and Lily to scrub their afternoon away in the musty latrine. 

“Enjoy.” He spoke, his palms raised in defence, stepping out of the door way and cocking his head towards the girl in the corner with an eye roll.

Back in the corner, Lily knelt by the shower drain up to her elbows in suds from scrubbing the filthy floor, amazed by how the dark speckled tile was actually a light brown, hidden by a thick layer of dirt, grime, and God knows what else. She had been so graciously gifted the afternoon of latrine duty for an unknown infraction that Sobel had concocted the day prior during the afternoon obstacle course exercise after she had displeased him for the thousandth time that day, probably simply from existing. She wasn’t in the know as to Luz’s infraction, but she guessed that it was most likely due to his inability to keep his colorful thoughts to himself during the exercise, although, some of his impressions of Lieutenant ‘stick up his arse’ did make the time pass quicker. So now, they had the pleasure of each others company whilst they spent their first free afternoon in forever scrubbing the dirtiest part of the barracks as the rest of the men lamented in the summer sunshine. 

Without Perconte’s commentary echoing around the building the only sounds were that of the two scrubbing brushes rhythmically sanding away at the grimy floor. The silence was palpable. Lily didn’t mind the cleaning duty as much as Sobel probably hoped she would, she much preferred it to running a couple of miles in the humid sun with a full pack, and whilst she didn’t know Private Luz all that well, he’d been sticking to his end of the latrine, and wasn’t causing her any trouble thus far, so it came as a surprise to her when he broke the silence. 

“You know, if they’d mentioned in that damn Life article that being a paratrooper meant spending two sorry years of my life stuck with Sobel I might not have signed up so fast.” Luz stood up from his bent over scrubbing position, groaning as he clicked his body back into shape and wandered over to find where he’d left his water canteen, leaning back against the sinks, mulling over the absurdity of his situation. He looked over at the girl, scrubbing away at the endless grime that covered the floor, continuing to ignore him.

Lily had been part of Easy Company for some time now, that part being ignored, unwanted, forcing her to the back or just pretending she didn’t exist, the men always attempting to keep her an arms length away from the action. Luz wouldn’t have known she was still there if it weren’t for Sobel’s incessant barking at her. She didn’t speak up much in the classroom, never sat with the men at chow - never invited to sit with the men either he noted, even during the evenings before lights out she was either nowhere to be seen or already in bed turned away from whatever group conversation was taking place. 

“You don’t talk much do you?.” He peered over at her hunched figure as she continued scrubbing, when she didn’t answer he cleared his throat a little louder than necessary. 

“Hey Luz, how are you today? Well Redcoat, I was doing just fine until I had to come here and scrub! I love scrubbing, I’m so thankful that Lieutenant Sobel gifts it to me so often, it keeps my arms strong and my spirits high.” He chuckled to himself, tilting his head slightly in the hopes that she saw the peace offering he was attempting. 

She glanced behind herself, irritated at Luz’s attempt at humour, raising a singular eyebrow as she made eye contact with the sniggering man. 

“Oh thank god, it worked! You aren’t deaf! Had me worried for a minute there.” A ridiculous smile plastered across his face as he stared at Lily, waiting for an answer. She remained on the ground, one hand on her brush, one of the floor, her eyes attempting to bore a hole through his head. Her stare was beginning to make him think that they may have been better off in silence, his heart rate only slowing as he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in as she broke eye contact and slumped herself into a seated position, grabbing her canteen and taking a long, slow drink. 

Lily’s body ached from being bent over too long and her hands were raw from scrubbing, she had blisters on her palms from days of climbing ropes and scaling beams, she wasn’t in the mood for jibes or jabs. Her gaze remained off in the distance until she noticed Luz still looking at her, waiting on a reply, she was too tired for this, but she was too tired to continuously ignore him for the remaining hours of scrubbing they still had left.

“I’m touched?” her voice monotonous, her face unimpressed. 

The pair stared across the latrine at each other in their respective corners, an awkward silence dragging between them as neither knew what to say next. George realised that it might be the first time he’d actually properly talked to her, actually talking to her, rather than the odd nod when they came in contact during exercises. He couldn’t help but feel that part of her hesitation in talking is his own fault. By no means has he been the worst, but he hasn’t been all that forthcoming in welcoming their latest addition to the Company. He’s seen how she sits alone reading on her bunk at night, whilst the rest of the men play cards and enjoy themselves, how any conversation dies down if she merely walks past a group. A strong feeling of guilt washed over him as he racked his brain for what to say next.

“George Luz.” He wiped his hand on his pant leg before extending it towards her.

“I know who you are.” She looked towards his hand but made no move to accept the gesture.

“I know you do, and I know who you are too. Ain’t this how you do it in England? Introductions and shit?” He pushed himself off the sinks as she continued to just stare back at him, motionless. 

“Christ Redcoat, shake my damn hand, I ain't got cooties.” He stood there for a moment, his mind dancing between pride and patience before taking a few steps towards the girl, sitting himself down opposite her and extending his hand again. The lump in his chest evaporated as she waited a few moments, before placing her canteen back on the ground and with a firm shake she replied. 

“Lily Darlington.”

“And here I was thinking all this time that your name was Redcoat.” He mocked.

“I can see how you would think that.” She replied, her eyes rolled as she slumped her back against the cool wall.

“Sobel seems to really have it out for you.” He said, dancing on the edge of conversation.

“I’m starting to get the notion that he doesn’t quite like me.” She said in jest, it wasn’t enough to form a laugh, but she let out a huff of air.

“You ain’t wrong there.” He replied, stretching his legs out across the half scrubbed tile floor. 

“Well, perhaps my day just wouldn’t shine the same if Sobel didn’t remind me how worthless I am to the Company. Keeps me eager.” She turned and winked at him as she took another sip from her canteen, the suds from her elbows dripping onto her pant leg. She’d almost forgotten how it felt to have an actual conversation with someone, she felt as if she hadn’t said anything of substance in weeks. 

“You’re funny when you actually talk you know.” Chuckling when he receives a sarcastic seeming eyebrow raise and hint of a smile out of her.  “I don’t know how you do it,  I got six sisters and they cry if I so much as comment on anything they do, I hate the guy and he ain’t half as bad on me” Luz’s expression crinkled. 

“Its manageable.” She spoke as she scraped the sudds off her arms and shook them back into the bucket. 

Manageable, it was just about manageable, however it was teetering close to unbearable. She had a stern spirit, and a stiff upper lip, but not even she was unbreakable. They had so much more training to go, and then goodness knows how many years actually in the thick of it. If she couldn’t break the seal on the men’s freeze out then she had no hope of survival.

“Manageable, hmmm. Your Lieutenant hates you, your Company ain’t so keen on you either. Either you’re one determined son of a bitch, or you’re crazy.” He replied with a single eyebrow raise. 

“I’m not entirely sure I want to be friends with people who spit in my food.” She replied.  

“That’s Liebgott, he’s a jackass. And we don’t all hate you, we just don’t know you. You’re the only broad outta nine companies. You gotta see how weird that is.” 

“I see that it’s different, I don’t necessarily see it as the disadvantage that your lot do. I don’t even think they realise to know me they’d actually have to talk to me first, their friendship hasn’t exactly been forthcoming.”

“That’s fair.” He replied, his hands raised in defence. “We ain’t exactly been forthcoming, maybe it don’t come easy talking to a broad if it ain't at a bar for my lot?” He winked at her, met by a disapproving look. 

“I know you and I don’t think you’re all that bad. ” He smiled at her.

“You’ve known me, all of, two minutes?” Her sarcastic tone coming out again as she glanced down at her watch ticking away on her wrist. 

“I only let the very best of people be my friends.” He said mockingly.

“You’re friends with Liebgott…” She replied looking through her eyebrows.

“I am friendly with Liebgott, there’s a difference.” He smiled back. “Two long minutes, give it six months, we’re gonna be best friends.” His face turned to her with a childish grin plastered across it. 

“Is that so?” Her pitch raised as she suppressed a laugh at the mans premonition. 

“I know these things, feel it in my bones.” He winked before standing up and ‘wiggling his bones’ as he made his way back over to his own bucket, laughing to himself as left.

The pair fell back into their quiet rhythmic scrubbing, broken every so often by Luz trying to make conversation, and to his surprise, Lily trying to reply in a way that showed him she wasn’t entirely disinterested by his peace making attempts. After the lack lustre interactions she was used to she didn’t want to get too optimistic over a single conversation, but she couldn’t help feeling that it might be a tiny step in the right direction. 

— -

A hint of a smile crept across Lily’s face as she hung the buckets back up in the supplies closet. The pair had finally finished their punishment and Luz had rushed off to enjoy the rest of the afternoon with the men, something about Bull Randleman owning him a pack of smokes from their poker game the previous night. Lily had offered to finish up the job, and afterwards planned to find a quiet corner and watch the world go by, she had been looking forward to doing nothing for so long and her body was begging for a break. 

With her smile still lingering and her heart a little lighter she made her way along the barracks towards the quieter end of the camp, turning the corner without noticing the large figure coming straight towards her until it was too late, smacking head on, and sending both parties stumbling back, the ground littered with papers that Lily could only assume the other party had been rushing somewhere.

“I’m so sorry!” Lily exclaimed, gathering up all the lose sheets around her before looking up to see exactly who she had run into. Her heart dropped in her chest when her eyes raised to meet those of Lewis Nixon’s, Lieutenant Lewis Nixon’s, “Sir.” She tried to add quickly, however in her shocked state, it came out more like a whisper, much to her embarrassment. 

His eyes lowered for a split second before he also reached for the loose sheets, shoving them haphazardly into the file tightly grasped in his hands, almost in an attempt to by himself some time to think of something logical to say. Before it could conjure anything Lily’s hand thrust out towards him as she offered his remaining papers, his eyes met hers once again, and he drew in a sharp breath as he took them from her grasp. They both stood there awkwardly, waiting for the other to speak first. 

It hadn’t really sunk in for him yet. He still didn’t truly believe she was here. That it was actually her. Yes he’d sat through the meeting with her and Winters, however, most of it was a blur to him, he was certain he was being pranked and any moment now his sister Blanche would pop out from behind a tree, grab Lily and run off giggling. He felt as if he had been shot upon seeing her unannounced all these years later. She had been here for weeks now, yet he found himself avoiding her, filling every available hour with extra tasks just to minimise the amount of time in which he’d actually have to face her. He just couldn’t understand what the hell she was doing here - the Lily he knew would not be here. 

Lily could feel a flush of embarrassment rise to her cheeks, she had been wanting to speak to Lewis privately ever since she arrived, yet could never seem to find an appropriate moment, now she had one she couldn’t even seem to form a single word out of her mouth, it didn’t help that he was staring at her in an unnerving manner. Before either of them could say anything Lieutenant Winters called out for him. His eyes rose to the source of the voice across the far side of the opposite field before dropping back to meet hers with a regretful expression. 

“I have to go.” Was all he could bring himself to say before pushing past her small frame and dashing off to the very meeting he had just made himself late for, grimacing at the way he had just handled the situation, knowing full well he was just making everything more complicated for his future self and somewhat guilty for not even saying hello to the girl he was once so very close to. 

— -

If persistence was a person it would be George Bloody Luz. It was evident that he been steadfast in his intentions in becoming best friends, but to be fair, Lily hadn’t been stopping him. She was right about the step, which had actually turned out to be more of a leap, George Luz didn’t seem to do anything halfheartedly. She had begun to enjoy having a someone to shoot the shit with as they scaled Currahee, someone to compare notes with after a classroom exercise, to stand in line with at the mess hall as they awaited that evenings sloppy serving of grub. Luz had even been trying to get her to sit alongside the men at meals, to which she complied, but somehow always found herself perched half on half off the bench, too far away to be able to be involved in any discussion. One step forward, one step back. Lately they’d even found themselves sat out the back of the Barracks late in the evenings before curfew, sharing a laugh, going over the best and the worst parts of that day, occasionally joined by Floyd Talbert or another one of Luz’s friends, which only seemed to make her situation feel even more isolating, ironic really. Lily craved the dynamic that George had with the rest of the chaps, the camaraderie and the comfort it seemed to bring him at the end of a long day when he could truly be himself. It was a harsh reality, not one that she was expecting either, that to let herself be open to any form of friendship, she had to be able put her guard down, not to mention swallowing her pride. 

In a surprise turn of events, the men seemed to take the lead from Luz, she was far from getting into conversation with anyone new, however when she sat next to Luz at chow the previous evening, she received head nods from some of the others at the bench, and Randalman had even saved her a seat. It was an improvement, a very small improvement, but one she so desperately needed. 

— -

"You know Nix, I think if you stare any harder you might just fall through that window.” Winters noted from beneath his stack of papers. 

“I am not staring, I am observing.” He replied, eyes fixated on the field before him.

“That her?” Spiers motioned to the short figure at the back of the group.

“Sure is” Winters replied, placing his papers down and joining the men congregated around the window. 

The trio stood side by side behind the window, watching the line of Privates as they stood in formation, being barked at by their beloved Lieutenant Sobel. Nixon’s eyes fixed on the form of Private Lily Darlington at the end of the line, a full head and shoulders below her fellow men, the longer he stared the less he began to recognise the girl he once new. 

— -

“Easy Company, each of you will select a strip of paper! On that paper will be a name, that name will be your partner for the rest of the day, there will be no trading partners, no exceptions!” Sobel’s voice cried as he thrust the helmet forcefully into Lily’s hands.

She groaned as she grabbed a strip from the pile, she had gotten away with mostly pairing Luz for the week. Sparing wasn’t anything new to her, in all actuality she excelled at it, but there in lay her problem. Her position within the Company already ruffled feathers and had the men asking all sorts of questions that she had little interest or ability to answer. If she had gone from quiet girl at the back of the group, to launching grown men over her shoulder within a day she doubted that she’d be able to escape without explaining herself. Luz was her scapegoat, not that he knew it. She had let him lead the training, she tried to spar with her non dominate hand to lessen the blows, heck he’d even commended her on her improvements the day before. As she passed the helmet towards George she said a silent prayer that the name on her slip was an easy opponent, whilst she knew she was going to have to suppress herself, she wasn’t exactly hoping to have to take a punch from the likes of Bull or even Guarnere, she was hoping to remain under the radar, not in the medical bay. 

“Who’d you get?” George whispered across to her, passing the helmet to its next victim. 

Lily felt her prayer fall from the sky and slap her as she opened the strip of paper between her fingers. Inked across in a barely legible scrawl was the one name she’d have paid good money to not see.

Liebgott. 

She tilted the paper towards him and rolled her eyes as an amused grin swept across his face.

“Weren’t you saying yesterday how much he deserves a ‘kick up the arse’” Luz replied, mocking her accent rather crassly, his eyebrows wiggling in jest.

With a look of distain she nodded towards his paper, the corners of her mouth turning up as she read ‘Randalman’, looks like Luz will have a tussle of his own. 

“Find your partner and pair up!” Sobel yelled from the other side of the field. 

“Have fun!” Luz mocked as Lily dragged herself towards the other end of the field to find her unlucky partner. She was barely 10 steps towards where he was stood before she could feel his eyes beginning to glare a hole through her.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, boys, this is gonna be fun.” He spat, looking her up and down before shoulder passing her and strutting away from the group of men towards his spot on the field.  

“Listen up Easy Company! The man on the far side of the field will make the starting move, last man standing wins!” Lieutenant Sobel’s whistle rang through the air as Lily centred her weight and dug deep deep down within herself to find an ounce of self control to not smash his face in. Defence, defence, Now wasn’t the time to be putting anyone in the medical bay.

“Afraid of messing up your hair sweetheart?” His childish voice rang in her ears as he stood on the far side of the field rolling his sleeves up. 

“You’d have to make contact with me to be able to do that, Liebgott.” She smiled back at him with a shit eating grin, spitting his name as if it were a slur.

“Yeah?” He said, slowly squaring up towards her. He was a good head and shoulders taller than her, and he was using every ounce of his stature to try to intimidate her. It was pretty easy to pinpoint exactly how Liebgott managed to get under her skin so easily, he was impulsive, rude, he knew how to push all her buttons, but mostly it was that he seemed to wake up every day with the innate desire to do anything, say anything to tick her off. It was killing her to find an ounce of strength not to retaliate. She had learnt the hard way that it mostly makes situations worse.

The duo stood steadfast, each not willing to back down from their ridiculous stare off, completely oblivious to the approaching footsteps of the Lieutenant Winters as he made his way over towards them. 

“Do we have a problem here?” His deep voice broke their trance, his eyes shifting between the pair. 

Liebgott’s head swung from between the Winters and the girl, “Afraid of getting her hands dirty I’d say, Sir.”

Winters let out a huff of aggravation, “Private Darlington, do you have a problem sparring with Private Liebgott?” His face displayed a look of curiosity as he peered down at the girl. “From what I’ve seen I’d say quite the opposite. Perhaps you can teach Private Liebgott here a thing or two.” He said with a wink. 

“Yes Sir” Lily happily replied, a hint of a smile edging on her lips, I’d happy slap the shit out of him, Sir. 

Lieutenant Winters smiled as he backed away, he couldn’t help but admit that he did hold a slight interest in watching her take down the loudmouthed Liebgott. He’d been an onlooker a few of their interactions, and whilst he wouldn’t feel inclined to step in between them; he knew that they needed to learn how to live amongst each other, and sometimes that required an ego takedown, he was comforted in the knowledge that his meddling would only produce what Liebgott had been fuelling with his behaviour.

Lily didn’t know the last time she had free rein to pummel someone, and she adored it. A rush of adrenaline overcame her as she waited, her weight spread, knees slightly bent. Joseph Liebgott you are so bloody predictable. During the drills prior shed had time to observe almost every man, assessing their strengths and taking note of their weaknesses. Liebgott was a classic, he favoured his left leg for balance, he always threw his first punch with his right arm. He was always telling the other men about fights he had gotten into back home, he was experienced, but impulsive. His aim was always to throw as many punches as he could before his opponent got a look in. Always so quick to attack that he never assessed the situation, his anger and his ‘better than thou’ attitude clouded his judgment. 

Lily dug her foot further into the dirt for leverage as she looked across at her partner, taunting her with a confident smirk and accompanying wink. Her eyes didn’t move from his as she waited for him to make the first move, she remained still, waiting on each footstep as he moved closer towards her. 

She barely had a second to breathe before Liebgott launched himself at her, throwing a punch that narrowly missed her eye. She ducked to dodge its trajectory, having to stop herself from sinking her fist into his crown jewels as she came back up, although she’d be lying if watching Liebgott rolling around on the ground like a worm cradling his crotch wouldn’t amuse her. 

Her weeks of silence in the evenings had been beneficial, it seemed Liebgott’s favourite pastime to recount the street brawl fights he’d gotten himself wrapped up in back home in California. She needed to prepare for a dirty fight. He retreated for a short moment before he lunged at her again, his movements brash and wild, he aimed for her blind spots, however, Lily anticipated it this time, and blocked and you countered, clipping his ankle as he came past, his impulsiveness made for a simple fight, however she kept her fists tight to her body, defence Lily, she reminded herself, scraping every ounce of self control she had left.

Winter’s attention was pulled from the scene as Nixon and Spiers made they way over the field to where he stood. 

“Battle to the death?.” Spiers said as he looked out onto the scene before them. 

Nixon stood between them, his arms tightly folded watching the ebb and flow of the drill intensify, his brow knitted tightly. “She’s reading him like a book.” He said, with more concern than he intended.

Thwack! 

She blocked his expected right hook, and countered with an elbow to his face, it wasn’t hard enough to break anything, but just about enough to knock his balance off. Swinging around she met his eyes as he recoiled back, his dark eyes glared at her, a mixture of shock and fury. This time Lily moved without hesitation, rushing forward she ducked down and grabbed Liebgott below the waist, using her entire body weight to throw him to the ground, the loud thunk of his head colliding with the mud drew inquisitive eyes from them other sparring pairs. A quiet murmur started to form amongst the onlookers who didn’t know wether to stop or watch what was going on. The force of the impact sent ringing through Liebgott’s ears, his eyes felt heavy in his head as if he was being pulled into the earth itself.

A quiet suppressed chuckle escaped from Spiers as Sobel shoved past the onlookers him yanked Liebgott back to his feet by his shirt collar.  “Easy Company is better than this Private, are you going to let a girl beat you?!” He bellowed into Liebgott’s ringing ears as he shoved him back into the fight. 

Liebgott stood for a few seconds catching his breath, before swinging his arm again and unleashing a series of rapid strikes. Lily moved and countered, her blocks almost poetic in their efficiency. 

Sobel’s voice called out once more, “Private Liebgott this isn’t a street fight, you are to take down your opponent!” His cowl voice broke Lily’s concentration, and in the split second she had stopped to turn her attention towards Sobel Joe had moved to throw a wild punch. Lily failed to block him as his fist collided with the side of her face. He was overjoyed, a slinky grin crept onto his face as his eyes scanned the red mark quickly rising across her left cheek. 

A few men down, Luz and Randleman had paused mid takedown as they saw Liebgott’s fist meet Lily’s face, they anxiously watched, unaware how they each still had their fists curled into each others uniform. 

Lily swallowed hard as she re-entered herself, she was prepared for a few bruises, she had settled on a few bruises, a few stumbles and she’d fall, faking defeat. She’d be able to sit the rest out and no one would remotely pay any attention to her, she had had her fun with him. That was until Liebgott decided to open his mouth and drain every inch of her self control.

“Gonna cry Red? I’ve seen you cry in your sleep, ain’t gonna be nothing new, you just can’t hack it.” He scoffed in her direction as she wiped a loose tendril of sweat covered hair out of her eyes.

His words seared into her skin and a switch flipped inside of her. She let him move first, her eyes shooting daggers into his. She watched as he moved slowly towards her, before shifting his weight and throwing a punch that she dogged with ease, he was playing into her hands. Then, with a sudden sprint Lily moved towards Liebgott.

Crunch!

With a sudden jab to the face Liebgott stumbled backwards, his nose bloodied and his fists tightened. He moved to wipe the blood away, however Lily didn’t give him a moment’s rest. 

“What in the Sam Hell…” Escaped from Randleman’s mouth as he stood, still connected to Luz, his breath caught in his throat as he watched the tiny girl, his eyes wide with shock.

With Liebgott’s hands up to his face, he left himself open, and Lily rushed forwards again. She explored his opening and with a shark kick has landed a blow to his ribs, a jarring move that stole the air from his lungs. Liebgott doubled over as the onlookers winced, barely sparring themselves anymore, too interested in the action. 

“She’s got bite, I’ll give her that.” Spiers spoke

“You can thank the SOE for that.” Nixon replied, his eyes completely fixated on the girl.

Liebgott, with more fury in his eyes than before attempted a desperate counter attack, Lily, however, moved in with ruthlessness, blocking each strike, and retaliating with a relentless barrage. Her fist collided with the Californian’s nose for the second time, forcing Liebgott to stagger backward as he let out a gasp of pain. As the confrontation reached its climax, Lily delivered a final, devastating series of blows, landing a final kick to his abdomen, followed by an elbow to the face in order to distract him, seizing the opportunity she grabbed him by the arm and flipped him over her shoulder. The onlookers shuddered as a sickening crunch sounded when Liebgott hit the ground, his shoulder dislocating the impact. Lily stood over him, her hands on her thighs as she panted, catching her breath as he lay there, defeated, bloody, and breathless. 

“Jesus Christ” Nixon breathed out as stood with the other Officers, their faces a mixture of curiosity and shock. He was finding it difficult to put into words what he had just seen, who was this Lily?

Tag list:

@shakespear-picaso-lovechild @icantdecideofthename @this-harl0t-shant-be-unalive @weird-obsessed-girl

Next part sooooo much sooner than you think!

[fang-and-feather]

faaaang, congratulations on your milestone 💞 you deserve it and even more!

my request couldn’t be other, it’s for our OT3 hahah

arthur x isaac x reader (triad) + fluff + picnic date!

thank yooou~

Thank you, darling! 🥰❣️

Here it is! This was such a joy to work on, especially since I hadn't written our boys in a while 😊

Ikemen Vampire - Isaac x Arthur x Reader

Words: 2293

Summary: It was almost impossible to surprise Arthur, but that didn't keep you and Isaac from trying. It was the anniversary of the day he became a part of your little family, after all, and you had a perfect summer day for a relaxing date after he'd been working on his latest book that he had surprisingly kept you in the dark about.

Tags: Romantic Fluff, Modern Setting

Request from my 100 Followers Celebration. Prompts for it were from @anyfandomfluffbingo

I actually finished it last month, but it pairs so well with another request I received, I wanted to post both together, and I finished the other one yesterday. Be aware, if you follow the link, the next fic is smut

Next Fic / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

Blue skies, light breeze, you couldn’t ask for a finer day to celebrate the anniversary of your relationship with Arthur.

Especially after Arthur spent so much time in the study, writing. He could enjoy a relaxing day outside.

You hummed to yourself as you finished cooking, hoping to finish it before Arthur decided to come down.

Isaac had offered to help but, as much as you would have loved it, you thought it was better if he stayed behind to keep Arthur away in case he woke up before you finished.

Not that you were confident in being able to keep a secret from Arthur anyway, but you and Isaac did your best.

With everything done, the only remaining task would be to wake up your boyfriends. But on your way to your room, you found them already up and freshly out of the bath. Arthur with an amused grin and Isaac as red as if he had been boiled.

Nothing unusual there. With an amused smile, you approached and kissed Isaac’s cheek.

“What have you two been up to that has made you this flustered?” You asked teasingly.

“What do you think happened, luv?” Arthur asked back, grinning as he stepped closer.

“Nothing happened!” Isaac almost shouted. He took a deep breath and added in a normal tone. “Arthur was just teasing. As usual.”

“That’s what you think I was doing, Newt? I assure you, I was pretty serious.”

Arthur reached to wrap an arm around Isaac’s shoulder, but Isaac dodged him.

“The answer is still no. And we better have breakfast before the coffee is cold.”

And he walked down the hall, without waiting for an answer or any of you to follow.

Arthur chuckled.

“He’s so cute, it’s hard to resist playing with him.”

“Were you teasing him or not?”

“I was just testing something. But he’s right. Let’s have breakfast before Isaac decides to drink all the coffee.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“Guess not.” Arthur laughed. “Maybe if it was one of these apple-flavored ones you make.”

Both of you laughed and Arthur took your hand as you headed for the kitchen.

But Isaac wasn’t in the kitchen. Except for the things you had put on a picnic basket, he’d taken the rest outside already.

“Are we planning to go somewhere, luv?” Arthur asked, eying the basket.

“In fact…” Isaac appeared in the doorway, nervously looking down “We thought you could use some time to rest so we planned to set it up in the garden but… we can still go somewhere if you want…”

Arthur crossed the kitchen in a few steps and kissed Isaac.

“Oh, a picnic date at home sounds perfect. Especially when our new house has a lovely garden, and I can enjoy some private time with my sweet lovers.”

You hugged them.

“You’ve been so busy writing that we also wanted some privacy for our date, too. A relaxing day just for ourselves.”

“I wonder why…”

“Don’t start, Arthur!” Isaac protested, blushing.

“I’m kidding, Newt. I love that we had the same idea. We are such a great team.”

“Isn’t that what the beat couples, or in our case triad, are like?”

“That’s right. And speaking of team… Actually, I will show you my own surprise after breakfast.”

Arthur kissed each of you on the lips, then took your hand, placing a kiss on the back before doing the same to Isaac without releasing you.

You never thought about it before, but now you were realizing how often, when the three of you were together, Arthur ended up being the one in the middle. And that was where he sat as you walked to the spot Isaac set the picnic blanket on.

Only while you were taking things out was that you thought maybe you made too much. Coffee and juice, fudge, sandwiches and, you would keep this one hidden for now, a celebratory cake.

“I could smell it when I woke up, but I can’t believe you really made my favorites, luv.” Arthur picked a piece of fudge as soon as you set it on the blanket. “But it’s our anniversary. Why are you focusing so much on me?”

“It is the anniversary of our relationship with you. We already have an anniversary to focus on each other.” Isaac gave Arthur a bashful smile. “Falling in love with you was unexpected, especially for me, but we are fortunate to have you in our lives.”

“Aww, Newt. I didn’t know you thought so highly of me.” Arthur casually pulled him closer with his free hand, and Isaac turned away, cheeks growing redder.

“You knew. And it doesn’t mean you don’t annoy me sometimes. Or that I don’t wish you would stop calling me that.”

“Sorry, but I can’t, darling.” Arthur chuckled, kissing him on the cheek. “I think it’s a lovely pet name. Or would you rather I call you my apple pie?”

“Why did you take the day to tease me?” Isaac protested, pulling away, pouting.

“Sorry. You are just so cute. But I’m also lucky to have your love. To have both your hearts.” Arthur turned to the other side, kissing you this time. “And thank you for doing all of this.”

Arthur finally turned his attention back to the piece of fudge in his hand, while Isaac poured coffee for both of them. But instead of eating it, he held it to your lips.

“You can eat them all.” You said, tilting your head to the side just enough to look at him properly. “I made these for you, and I didn’t make much.”

“Sharing with you only makes it taste better.” Arthur looked so happy, that you ended up indulging him, bitting the sweet, then watching with a bit of embarrassment as Arthur ate the rest.

“I was right. This is the best fudge I ever had.”

“You’re exaggerating.” It couldn’t be that good. You had just learned to make these for this occasion. But it wasn’t like you ate these as often as him to compare.

“Oh, I really mean it, luv. They taste divine. Here, Newt. Try it.” Arthur picked a new piece, repeating the gesture with Isaac as his boyfriend handed him a fresh cup of coffee.

Isaac turned red again , but shily complied. Turning even redder as he watched Arthur eat it, causing him to fumble while trying to pour you some juice.

You chuckled, fondly watching your boyfriends’ loving interaction. They were such an unlikely match when you met, but it was hard to imagine they were ever like that, watching them like this.

At this point, everything about you felt right. Even the teasing and banter between your boyfriends.

“You asked about us focusing on you today,” you told Arthur after you finished breakfast, taking the cake you made out of the picnic basket, “and although we planned most of today for you, this one I made to celebrate us. Our anniversary.” You cut three pieces of the cake and handed Arthur the first piece, accompanied by a kiss. “Having you join us was a surprise we’ll always be grateful for.” You gave Isaac the second piece, having to lean over Arthur to kiss him. “But ultimately, we are a family. And today is a day to celebrate that just as much.” You poured a new cup of coffee for each of them before picking your own piece of cake. “I love both of you.”

“As we love you. Forever.” Isaac added, smiling at you.

Both of you sat even closer to Arthur, and just like he did earlier, you picked a forkful of cake and offered him, then did the same with Isaac. And Isaac repeated the gesture with both of you in turn.

“We should have more picnics like this,” Arthur murmured with a satisfied smile. “Especially if the two of you will be this cute and keep tempting me to eat you instead.”

“You don’t need to say things like that at breakfast!” Isaac protested, a little too loud.

“Oh, are you more of a post-dinner dessert, Newt?” Arthur winked at him.

“Why are you like this?!”

Arthur laughed.

“Sorry. But I know you love me just like this.” He kissed Isaac’s cheek, before turning to you. “What about you, luv?”

You pretended to think.

“I love you, but being eaten doesn’t sound like fun. I would rather have you for dessert.” You grinned at him.

“We’ll see about that, my dear. After all, if you are going to spoil me today, it’s only fair I spoil you in turn. But for now, I have a specific surprise in mind.”

Kissing both of you, Arthur stood up and walked inside the house.”

You and Isaac shared an excited smile, confident Arthur’s surprise had something to do with his new book. Your boyfriend had been strangely secretive about this one, and both you and Isaac had been quite curious.

Which sometimes still was a surprise to you. Isaac had never been a big fan of fiction, but you could tell he was genuinely interested when Arthur showed him his writings, and not just trying to please his partner.

Especially considering Isaac rarely was as worried about pleasing Arthur as he was you. Their dynamic was just different.

While Arthur was away, you picked the extra snacks you had saved for later. You could make more, and the boys might find it nice for a reading session. You weren’t as sure you could eat anything more, but maybe there would be space for a little of it.

As you settled back outside with Arthur’s manuscript - he’d gotten used to the technology, but still preferred having handwritten drafts - you laid your head on his lap, while Isaac leaned on his other side, like you usually did for reading sessions after a picnic. This time without the strange looks you got from other people.

“I thought I would have this one published before today, but it was hard to convince my editor about this book, and then I had a great idea for some last-minute additions to the side plots.”

“Why was it hard to convince them? What did you do?” Isaac asked, with curiosity and concern.

Arthur just grinned in a ‘you will see’ manner and started reading.

This book, for the little you know, was part of a series that Arthur started writing in a time where the three of you had come together to solve a case Arthur got involved in, and that he said inspired him.

You and Isaac were together, but Arthur was just a friend back then. It had been the start of you falling in love with him, though.

And the book was really based around your adventures, but was a more serious story, as was Arthur’s usual style. And in it, his new detective had a female assistant, and this consultant that, during a small side plot, fell in love with her at the end of the book, the three of them becoming a team after that.

Arthur only published that book after the three of you were already together and had moved back to your original time and then started his second.

The current one was the third of the series, and it had a new, intriguing mystery. The murder of an actress on a private island, and the disappearance of a friend of the detective, who tried to investigate first.

But as immersive as the mystery was, you found it hard to not focus a little too much on the subplot, quickly realizing where it was going before it became obvious.

Maybe exactly because the whole story was immersive, and once again you recognized some of your experiences adapted to the page as, just like you had a couple of years ago, the characters came to find a new love in their hearts, as a trio rather than a couple with a close friend.

You looked up at Isaac, who had a pink tint to his cheeks again, as he stared wide eyed at the pages. Then at Arthur, who had a casual smirk as he continued reading through the story as one of the characters, in a moment of vulnerability while they were stuck in the mansion rigged with traps, confessed these newly realized feelings.

And you didn’t have the habit of interrupting reading time, but with your heart almost bursting with love, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, you couldn’t contain yourself, sitting up and kissing Arthur, stealing the words from him.

Now you knew why he had a hard time getting his book approved to publish, and yet he took the risk to make this. Something that celebrated your relationship, immortalized on the pages of one of his books.

“I take it that you are pleased?” Arthur asked cheekily as you parted.

“I have no words for how much. This is the best surprise!”

“I admit I wasn’t expecting such a sweet gift.” Isaac leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Is that all the confidence you have in me, Newt?” Arthur laughed. He set the book aside and hugged both of you to him. “This little plot had a very different ending planned when I started the first book. You changed that. So this is for you. My lovely assistants.”

And Arthur kissed you, but not the chaste kisses you’ve been sharing all morning. It was a deep kiss that spoke of all of his love. A kiss you returned with equal passion, as you also reached to hold Isaac’s hand, that he squeezed gently.

And when the two of you parted, both breathless, Arthur didn’t even give himself time to catch his breath, before kissing Isaac with equal passion.

Tag List:

@bicayaya, @tele86, @nightghoul381

@natimiles, @2-lines-and-a-circle, @eventinelysplayground

If you want to be tagged/untagged on future writings, even if it's in specific contents, you can reply to this post or send me a message

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[howdothoughtscollide]

An Unwanted Goodbye

Dazai Osamu x idol!gn!reader

WARNING: mentions of suicide( you should've expected this) and kidnapping, major character death, angst, reader wear lipstick, very brief mentions of chuuya, akutagawa, ranpo and maybe atsushi(?)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by this post by @soysaucefu, I recommend you read it first.

Here he is again, at the first place that you met. Well, maybe not for you, but it was the first time for Dazai to hear such an enchanting voice that made him stop in his tracks.

The howling wind intertwined with his hair, giving him fluttering kisses of the cold evening and muffled all the bustling noises of the moving vehicles beneath him and the cheering of your fans. Dazai looks down to his phone, which is showing the livestream of your concert, as he spares no attention to watch your performance. You look so lovely and vibrant, singing while the colorful lights focus on your figure, as if you are the only shining star in the night sky. Right, you are his star, the one being so radiant that it hurts everytime he looks at you. 

You are the star that deserves all the love and affection of your fans, the one who always stands in the spotlight, while someone like him, only deserves to be faced with all the filth and ugliness of this world, thrown and drowned into the void of the night. 

This time, the song you’re performing is quite different from the first time Dazai heard you, different from your usual energetic and exciting style. It is so soft and fuzzy, like being wrapped up in a cozy blanket when it is stormy outside or being able to have a warm meal after a long and tiring day. And, there is also something unusual, that it carry such a …sad undertone, like the fact that you can’t help but feel under the weather while staring out as raindrops make harmonic thrumming against the window, like a lover waiting for their other half to come back after a long trip. 

Did you miss him, he wondered, as it has been a long time since he last basked in your comforting scent and encased in your tender embrace. Did your heart ache for your annoying lover, ache for the person who always pranks and causes scandals for you, for the one that makes you face major problems and dangers when his crimes are revealed.

Did you?

Dazai averts his eyes to the vivid stage across the busy street, where you are living with your passion and showing the world your dazzling beauty, one of his arms holding up. You’re looking so small now, fitting into the tiny gap between his thumb and index finger.

So little, yet so far away. Actually, too far that you’re out of where his arms can reach, and he couldn’t protect you when he wanted to, needed to. The memory was still fresh, as if yesterday was when you were kidnapped, hidden in a cold and humid place, and-

It’s all fine now, he thinks. All of that has ended, and now, you’re safe and sound, standing right before his eyes. And, soon enough, nothing can cause harm to you, Dazai will ensure it.

Ahh~, he is such a genius, isn’t he? Who could think of dying while listening to their darling’s sweet sweet voice? Well, how romantic of him~. He hopes you see the message he sent you, you’re his clever darling, surely you’ll understand it~. Dazai smiles to himself as undecipherable emotions swirl in his eyes, his gazes soften when it takes in your image, like wishing to burn the moment into his memory for eternity.

“Stay safe, belladonna.” He says as he embraces himself for the fall.

Eventually, the concert comes to an end, the lights are turned off, people pouring out of the gates and staff moving around to collect and pack up gears. 

After changing into your casual clothes, you quickly gather your stuff, shoving your phone into your bag since you can not wait to return to the comfort of your home.

“Y/N!” Your manager called out. “We’re going to a restaurant to celebrate the success of the concert, do you want to come along?”

“No thanks.”You shake your head. “All of my energy is drained by the concert, I’d rather just go home and lie in my bed right now.”

She flashes you a teasing smirk. “Oh? Eager to meet someone, aren’t you?”

You grin shyly, a tint of blush forming on your cheek.

“Then just go, I’ll take care of the rest.” Your manager waves you off .

You mutter a small ‘thank you’ before swiftly making your way out.

The car suddenly stops, disrupting the conversation between you and your personal assistant.

“What’s the problem?” You ask the driver.

He turns his head to face you, a frown appears on his face. “ I’m sorry, but it seems like an accident occurred and is causing a traffic jam. I think it will be long until the road is clear again and we can move forward.”

“An accident?” You tilt your head in confusion. “Well, if it will take that much time, I’d better go and have a look!”  You exclaimed cheerfully as you put on your mask and jumped out of the car excitedly.

“Ah! Please wait for me, you shouldn’t go alone like that.”  Your assistant is dumbfounded by your actions, and hurriedly follows you.

You weave through the traffic, taking note of a huge crowd before you. “Hm? What type of accidents do you think that requires so many police cars and attracts such enormous attention?”

Your assistant leans on the side of a car, catching her breath. “W-Well, it could be a crazy fan who want to draw attention. It’s right before the concert stage and you’re quite famous afterall.”

You quirks your brown in disbelief. “My fans? How so, they’re such lively and chaotic cookies, I doubt they’d pull off something like that.”

“Ha ha, yeah.” Your assistant laughs before she bumps her head against your back. “H-Huh? Why did you stop all of the sudden?”

She lightly tapped your shoulder, but you stood there, frozen.

It is fully displayed directly in front of your eyes, that messy brown hair, that beige trench coat, and even that white bandage, all dyed in scarlet, all too familiar. 

Ah, how can you be so careless and forget such simple things? 

The only one who would carry out such silly schemes on you, your biggest and craziest fan. Look, he’s even holding the handmade merchandise that he cherished so much.

You chuckled.“Osamu, wake up, stop messing around, you’re causing trouble for the police. Did you miss me that much? I promised I’d make up for you this week, didn’t I?”

But there were no answers. Dazai is still there, the hands that used to hold you is now so cold, the lips that used to whisper sweet nothings into your ears is now closed and so silent, and the face, the face that used to smile at you warmly is now painted with the color of crimson. Except, it's not the bloom when you tease him, not the lipstick smudge when you kiss him behind the stage, it's the color of the twisted fate, of the bitter farewell which needed no melancholic melodies or complicated words for him to sing it to you.

“You’re joking, r-right? Q-quit it with your little pranks, I-I may actually get mad at you, you know?” Your voice trembles as giggles and giggles pour out of your mouth, not noticing your quivering hands reaching out as a poor attempt to clasp his, just to be interrupted by police officers, or the worried glances your assistant shoots you while explaining the situation to them, or even the flickering of cameras and quiet murmurs of others. Well, why should you, when the sight of your lover alone has the ability to suspend the flow of time and take your breath away, especially now once overwhelmed with red? 

You blink, trying to make a clearer view of Dazai. 

Yet, it’s just getting more blurry and hazy. What’s covering your vision? What’s making your cheeks feel so warm? Questions echoed in your mind as darkness envelope your senses.

You wake up to the bright and golden sun rays tumbling through the flimsy and translucent curtains. Examining the room, it’s decorated with sturdy and substantial wooden furniture in a welcoming manner, but it’s a strange place, nonetheless.What happened?

“Oh my, you’re finally awaken.” You avert your eyes to the surprised voice of your assistant. “Here, please watch some TV.” She says before running off to announce the doctors and the manager.

You divert your attention back to the glowing screen, broadcasting daily news.

“Yesterday, a famous idol’s partner was found jumping from a tall building in front of where their concert took place. Police say that this could be a suicide but the reason is unknown and still need further investigation. The-”

Your eyes widen, memories start flooding in your head, the red and blue lights of police cars, the yellow and black stripe of the barricade tape, you remembered it all.

“Y/N!” Your manager thrust open the door. “Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy? The doctors will come soon, so sit here and rest for a little bit, will you?”

You nod blankly at her, not even sure about how to answer. Then, doctors and nurses enter the room to check up on you, and police officers question you about the incident. During the whole process, the only thing they received were just nods and shakes, along with dry and simple phrases departing from your mouth, as if you’re a robot that isn’t fully programmed and is learning how to speak.

Your manager is on the verge of pulling all her hair out, a troubled look on her face. You’re still alive and healthy, eating and sleeping like you’re supposed to. But that’s it, other times you just merely glance at the windows, immersed in your own spiral of thoughts.

Before your manager’s hands decide it’s time to go bald, she spots some tuff of light gray hair.

“You come, at last!!!” Is that tears on her face? “You’re his acquaintance, right? Please do something, this is their room”.

The boy was baffled by your manager, dark circles clearly evident under his eyes. “A-Ah, yes, I’ll try my best” He says before reluctantly twisting the door knob.

“H-Hi, It’s been a long time. Do you remember me? I’m Atsushi Nakajima from the Armed Detective Agency.” He seems to be nervous, fidgeting his hands and gluing his eyes to the floor. 

“I-I heard that you refused to leave the hospital, are you not feeling well? Ha ha, what am I even saying, you’re sitting right here.” He laughed it off, then a sigh escaped his lips. “I know that you’re feeling distressed and I understand, since he is also someone very important to me. We’re going to hold Dazai’s funeral in several days, do you think you can come?”

Upon hearing Dazai’s name, you whipped your head at Atsushi. He yelped, taken aback by your abrupt movements and your catatonic gaze. If you could see your eyes at the present, you’ll notice how it is devoid of any sparks, like gemstones that have lost its glimmer, like a bottomless abyss where emotions cease to exist. Similar, isn’t it? Alike to his eyes the first time you met, alike to his eyes on that specific night when he concludes there’s nothing in this world to hold him back.

Did he think you are not enough of a reason?

Before those ideas take over you, and before Atsushi could react, you close your eyes. “Thank you, Atsushi. I’ll attend the funeral, you can send the invitation to my manager. Please leave now.”  Your voice was calm but determined, leaving no rooms for objection.

After you hear a soft thud, you turn your head to the window again. And this time, you let yourself be devoured by those guesses and assumptions again.

As the unceasing cold and incessant raindrops knock on your face, it breaks you out of the scrambling voices in your head and the numbness of your body.

Ah, where are you again?

You eye the scene in front of you, a gingerbread man pointing at the grave and yelling insults while the staff try to calm him, a boy with choppy charcoal hair coughing and faintly muttering something along the lines of he can’t be defeated that easily. All of a sudden, you catch a glimpse of a short male wearing a brown hat and your legs move on their own before you even give it a second thought.

“Ranpo”. He looks at you with a serious expression. “You know the reason why, don’t you?” It took all of the air inside your throat just to utter those words out of your dry lips. “Why did he-”

“I think you will be the best one to answer that.”

He walks away, and instead of untying the knots, his statement only adds more to the confusing mess in your head.

“Y/N.” Atsushi steps up to you. “Dazai told me to give this to you, so it must be something important.” He opens his arm to reveal something shiny.

Right, of course it’s important, it’s the key to your shared apartment.

Click clack

The fluorescent light lit up your whole bedroom, uncovering the voluminous but dusty merchandise and memories.

The walls are full of posters, with the biggest one being the elegant and cottage themed photoshoot of Dazai holding your hand and kissing your knuckles. The bed and shelves are stuffed with handmade merchandise from a fan petition after they saw the chibi drawing Dazai had of you on him all the time. There’s even a shirt with your face printed out that his yellow-haired colleague threatened to rip off when Dazai wore it to work.

What day is it? Honestly, you can’t recall, you didn’t care to. You take out your phone that was tossed aside since the concert, the battery was concerning low. Well, today is-

One unseen message from Osamu Dazai

Just six words, but enough to make your thumb trembles with fear in order to press on the screen.

For a moment, there was only pure and thick silence in the room, then continual and hollow laughters attempting to take over, just to be absorbed by the denseness of the walls and agonizing sobs and incoherent whimpers.

If death take my hand-

It did, and now you’ve left pieces of you in me that if I tried to pull it out, it would just cause more unbearable pain and draw me with prodigious nostalgia on its path-

I would hold you with the other-

You said we’d clutch our hands and be in each other’s soothing warm if we commit double suicide. You said if we go down, then we go down together. And look at what you did, completely go against your words-

And my love will lead me to you everytime.

Osamu, the dead can’t return, and so do you. This isn’t even funny anymore. You silly, stupid, cruel, heartless, insensitive, bastard, liar-

You can keep crying and crying, until your voice is hoarse and your eyes are heavy. But there will be no one to alleviate your suffering or distract you by making a fool of themselves. No one, not anymore.

A/N: This is my first work, I tried to keep a serious tone but the longer it get the more my goofy side tried to win over. Guess I can't write angst seriously ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Also English isn't my first language, so sorry if there is any the grammar mistakes.

Anyways this is a poor attempt at thirst traps of Dazai falling of a building. You can see that I never watch thirst trap before lol.

Imagine you're crying over your lover's death but your fans made thirst traps of him dying 😐.

[scratchandplaster]

FEBUWHUMP DAY 12 - Semi-conscious

CW: conditioning, parental Whumper, amnesia, emotional manipulation

Previous | [Masterlist] | Next

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

.

..

...

"...easy to return here whenever I..."

"My words...you know how to..."

"...slowly coming back to the waking world."

Someone was speaking to him, though Ben was still far too gone to register it.

"Eight. Feeling the tranquility join you from within, always following my voice."

Not yet, he wanted to stay in the pleasant darkness.

"Nine. Coming back to me now, and ten: Wake up!"

With a snap, Bens eyes plopped open, searching confused for the origin of this command. There he was again: Dad, rubbing up and down his spine to help him stir back to the present. The warm smile Ben all too gladly returned only helped to hold on to it.

"Well then, how are we feeling?"

Blinking a few times made the fog in his head partially vanish, but the airy, sticky presence at the back of his head never budged. Yet Ben didn't just feel okay, he felt great! Like a heavy burden was lifted from his chest.

Not strong enough to use his voice again, he simply hugged his dad as tight as he could. Oh, Ben missed him so-so much, it was killing him. Shepard, too, was freed of the heavy pressure inside his heart, never stopping the calming pets that kept his son's mind warm and pliable.

"Ben, do you have any questions about what we discussed?"

Questions? What did they talk about? Maybe Ben spaced out again, like he always did if his wits weren't required... Well, it couldn't have been very dicey if his thoughts already jumped to another topic.

"No, thanks."

Dad's smirk told him that this was somehow the right answer: "Perfect. Dinner will be ready soon, so let's get you to freshen up a bit."

Though Ben had no idea nor clue about what was happening to him, he trusted his dad to guide him. Shepard always knew what to do.

During the past few hours spent together, the sun had begun to set again. The dim twilight didn't really help in getting rid of the fuzziness adorning the world around the edges - focussing felt impossibly hard.

Only as a damp wash cloth wiped through Ben's weary face, his mind began to clear up further, yesterday's worries nothing more than a bad dream.

Cleaning up the crumbs of sleep from Reuben's eyes let Shepard reminisce of how it used to be between him and his sons, just the three of them hand in hand. Since then, everything had just become more complicated. Maybe too complicated, seeing how the boys saw themselves as abandoned and unloved enough to leave one after another. A mistake he had to correct.

After getting the debris off Ben, Shepard picked up a wooden brush to comb through his untamed hair. As far as his dad could tell, Ben enjoyed the endless attention, nearly whining when it stopped.

"It's chilly outside," Shepard whispered and eyed Ben's unusual outfit; too much polyester for his taste, "I don't want you to get a cold, so I made a little something."

Rummaging around behind himself, Shepard pulled out a cardigan and unfolded it to let Ben be the judge of it: it was brand new, mustard-yellow yarn loosely knit into itself. Ben found it beautiful, especially the little cherries stitched on it.

Cherries…just like Sam gave him. Ben hoped they wouldn't join them for dinner too, and cursed himself for it instantly. A cracked ego was no reason to be rude.

"I tried a new pattern. You still grow like a weed, so I had to tweak the measurements a bit," Dad explained and helped him into it, beaming with joy.

Ben, fuzzy and floaty, was also handed a shiny bar of chocolate from a trunk besides them.

"What's that?"

"The present you bought for us," Shepard responded confused, arranging Ben's hairdo into a neat side parting.

"Uhm-"

"At the store? You said you wanted to hand it out at dinner. Shawn couldn't sit still because of all the anticipation."

"Oh, sure." Dinner - there was a stray memory about a gift, though escorted by the faint impression that something was off. This fugue state Shepard recognized only grudgingly.

"You don't have to share, it's yours. You're free to decide."

"No-no, it’s okay. I'm just a bit lost." A clear understatement, dear Ben would forget his own head if it wasn't screwed on. Biting his lip, he had a question for him after all: "Dad, I-I want to know beforehand: how - what will be my punishment?"

Shepard's face twisted painfully: "Punishment? Punish - no! We are so thankful that you came back to us, none of us would ever punish you for that."

Reuben doubted his candor again, as if Shepard didn't just spend hours educating him otherwise. Soft words were not enough this time, it seemed, as Ben kept on dodging his shocked gaze: "Luke said you'd hate me for leaving."

"Oh sweetheart, come on," Shepard sighed and gently took his hand, "I'll show you the truth."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2024 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

[pheita]

Flash Fic Friday: Count the Days

yay, still in time despite migraine yesterday @flashfictionfridayofficial

I totally blame my sis for this one, with her love for those werewolf romance novels out there.

So, here we are. I know some folks wanted to be tagged in anything I write, so @cljordan-imperium @bee-barnes-author @writingamongther0ses

The cold, crisp morning air filled her lungs as Idalia stood on the small balcony outside her room and took a deep breath. Summer was slowly winding down and turning into fall, which meant the next gathering of the clans. She was reluctant to admit that she was already counting the days until then, because this year she was old enough to come along.

There was a knock at the door, the manner revealing her mother.

"Ida, are you awake yet?"

"Yes, I'll be right down."

She took another deep breath and then went back inside to get dressed for the day. Luckily, she still had the day off and could enjoy it.

Once in the kitchen, she found her mother staring longingly at the coffee machine, which was slowly bubbling away, and somewhere in the house her father and younger brother were rumbling around.

"Rough night?"

Her mother nodded slowly. Night watches were always the most exhausting for everyone, especially at this time of year.

"There's our sunshine," her father's voice sounded behind her, far too cheerful and awake for the time of day.

Idalia put her head in her neck with a groan.

"What do you want me to do for you now?"

"Can you take Collin to school?"

Blinking, she turned and looked at her father. Even though he was more than a head taller than her and a spitting image of The Rock, he looked as insecure as a little schoolboy.

"What happened?"

"We don't know yet," her mother explained, "But some of the other guards found strange tracks in the south of the territory last night. Don't match any kind of were-being we know of."

"That's why they're all being called together," her father added.

Idalia nodded slowly. That made sense. Unknown werebeings in their territory was something the Alpha needed to take care of and of course he needed the knowledge of the older members.

"Do you think it's connected to the reunion? We're hosting it this year, and it's nothing unusual that it attracts strange creatures."

Her father smiled proudly and hugged her.

"I've had that thought too. We'll see."

She felt his tension in the embrace. Whatever was found was worrying everyone more than they wanted to admit.

"All right, I'll take Collin to school. Do you want me to get groceries while I'm at it?"

"That would be great," her mother sighed and left the guard post at the coffee machine to get a pen and paper.

"Dad! I've got to go!"

Collin rumbled down the stairs as only an overgrown 14-year-old could and grabbed one of the ready-made toasts from the kitchen table. Idalia took the shopping list from her mother and pushed Collin out the door.

"I'll take you today, important clan business."

"Cool, are we taking the other way?"

She grinned at the question. The other way was the road over the mountains with all the curves where you could slide so delightfully. A glance over her shoulder told her that her parents hadn't heard and hastily closed the front door.

"Quick, before they realize what you asked."

Toast in his mouth, Collin tossed his backpack into the backseat and got in.

"And already nervous about the clan meeting?" he grinned broadly.

"Cheeky puppy."

"I'm just asking, everyone else is talking about nothing else."

She gave him a sideways glance as she adjusted the rearview mirror.

"Do I look like the others?"

He wrinkled his nose and chuckled.

"Nah, you're not as crazy about finding your mate as the rest. Luckily."

"Luckily?"

The agonized groan spoke entire book lines.

"The girls in my class don't know any other subject at the moment. What it's like when they get their wolf, what it's like when they find their mate. Blah blah blah."

Collin's eye roll was something Idalia could well understand, it got on her nerves back then too.

"Let me guess, it's the popular girls who talk about it so loudly."

His grumble confirmed everything. So, it was business as usual. With a mischievous grin, Idalia took the turn to the mountain road and got an amused snort in response. Collin knew that if they were going to slide down the road like a rally driver, Idalia needed all the attention she could get. She had to smile more when she thought about how her father used to do that when she was little.

They had just arrived at the foot of the hill when something darted across the road at such an inhuman speed that Idalia could only steer to the side. They came to a screeching halt a few meters further on and both looked back.

"Holy shit, what was that?" asked Collin.

"I have no idea," she answered honestly, but something told her that was what the clan was sitting together for.

She quickly typed a message to her parents that something was on the move in the southwestern clan territory and tried to calm down. Once more she looked over her shoulder behind her where the strange creature had crossed the road and was shaken. Something told her it wasn't the last time she'd seen it.