#a loss that didnt feel like a loss at all

[sneez]

thinking about gwynplaine having speech loss episodes and using tactile sign language to communicate with dea :-) please don't tag as body horror or anything similar [id in alt text]

[haunted-xander]

One thing I really love about Marcille is that despite her deep fear of outliving her loved ones, she never, never let's it get in the way of her making bonds and getting close to people. She loves deeply and strongly and she doesn't try to supress that! She embraces it wholeheartedly! Her friends are so important to her and she's not ashamed or scared of it!

Actually, out of all the characters, I'd say Marcille is one of the ones who care the most about bonds of friendship. She's angry at Namari for leaving after Falin got eaten and holds that grudge up until Namari helps defeat the Undine (and therefore having 'proven' herself). She's shocked and upset when Chilchuck explains his policy of payment and that he's not really here bc of friendship. She puts a lot of focus on the party being a Group Of Friends rather than a team of hired hands dedicated to the specific role(s) they are paid for. Which of course makes sense since she joined the party to begin with because of her friend! To her, the party has always been 'Falin and her brothers' friend group' rather than a hired party. (A little reminder: Marcille was the most recent member when the story starts. She never met the previous members who left so the team of Laios, Falin, Chilchuck, Namari and 'Shuro' is what she's always known it as.)

When she becomes dungeon lord, the thing that manages to snap her out of the Winged Lions grasp is the earnest care and love her party is showing her. Literally 'power of friendship'ed their way through the Lions hold and gave her her clarity of mind back.

And!!!! At the end of the feast right before they're about to attempt to revive Falin again, she says!!! this!!!!

She's ready to accept that Falin might not come back, even after everything. The entire story she's been running away from death, from having to outlive her loved ones (in this case: Falin). But here she is, ready to let her stay dead if this last attempt doesn't work.

And it's not giving up. It's realizing that she did all she could, and that it's okay. Because she still got to meet and be friends with Falin. That time with her might be just a speck in the length of life Marcille will have to live still, but it still happened and that's what matters.

It's not about escaping death; it's about cherising the moments before it.

[floorpancakes]

ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think

[seaseren]

I feel bad for it but I kinda don't. Get. Y'shtola's bond w the Night's Blessed. Like why being with them got her to "settle down" so much. It's just never felt like it clicked to me

[bunnihearted]

🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

[sp-ud]

Transcript of those last few minutes of the lore dump because I need that shit written down. I've bracketed and bolded the ones that are the most lore important but wrote mostly everything.

-

Hetch: and we're back. Congratulations Ranboo, you made it to the end!

Ranboo: where... where am i? Hetch? You're alive? What's-

H: You completed your experiment!

R: What's going on?

[H: Of course I'm alive Ranboo, you see, I still have a role to play here. The Founder gave me a purpose many, many years ago. To repurpose this company and create these experiments... these, shows. In order to find who in your world is worthy of joining the cast and living on in the future shows forever!]

R: I don't wanna join, I don't want to go on the future shows please. I don't want to do... I don't want to do any of this, please just let me- you can just let me go right? I mean- what future shows-

H: I'm afraid that's not an option.

R: Wait so you've just been doing- you've just been behind all of this? What do you mean?

H: Oh yes. Every decision you made, every death you've caused, don't you see these consequences are your own actions?

R: No they- they weren't my actions! You controlled me! You controlled me!

H: I didn't do anything Ranboo, I just wrote a script. The real human emotions that come from breaking a reality. Don't you see that's where the real fun is?

R: I don't- please just let me go, I won't say anything, I'll leave and then it'll- it'll be okay. I'll just leave, I mean- it's just... so is it all just fake? is it not- what's, what's going on I mean

[H: Oh it's very very real. Look, in the past I would just make my own decision on whether or not a character was worthy of joining the cast-]

R: I don't want to join the cast. Please, I don't want to keep doing this.

[H: But, since this is the first time we actually have a live audience we might as well let them pick! What do you think audience? Should we let him live in these shows for an eternity? Or end this one with a BANG?]

R: (After a bit of screaming about being let go) So, so what happens?

[H: Well, if they decide to let you live, you'll be... rescripted, repurposed, and uh, recast. In my experiments. Forever.]

R: I don't... wanna do...

H: As for the latter, we get an entertaining ending, both to the show, and to you!

R: So wait... then I... so I die? I mean *mumbling* You can, you can change this right? You don't have to do this! I mean, someone- someone will FIND YOU! SOMEONE WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!

[H: Look Ranboo, you can die now, or you can die when you've outlived your usefulness. Which could be tomorrow... or a thousand years from now. It all depends on how long you can fulfill your role!]

R: I don't want to be... I don't want to be in this anymore, please.

H: Well, you won't have to be-

R: You can let me go, right?

H: -if they pick the Die option for you, I guess.

R: What? The die...

H: Yes, as I said, you either join the cast and live on in the show forever... orrrr we end the show with a bang. Do you remember Ranboo? All the decisions that got you here?

R: They weren't- they weren't mine! They weren't mine!

H: Oh but they were-

R: No they weren't, you did this!

H: -you see, we only pushed you a little in the right direction, every time the show 'broke' and you saw what's really happening behind the scenes- that was the real you Ranboo! Your decisions, your choices! That led other people-

R: Just let me go-

H: -to die for you! That's the Hero in you Ranboo!

R: I don't want to play anymore... I don't want to be... I don't want to keep doing this

H: You'll play as long as they wish you to play Ranboo.

R: Don't... I don't...

H: They can't get enough of you, and looking at the poll it seems they want to play with you forever.

R: Wha... what? No, please, just let me go! I don't care! I don't want to keep being responsible for this...

H: Time's almost up! About a minute left. Any last words you might want to say to the audience to swing them one direction or another?

R: LET ME DIE! PLEASE! JUST LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS!

H: Strong words from our Hero.

R: JUST LET ME DIE!!! PLEASE!

H: He'd rather quit, than keep going

R: I don't want to keep going...

H: keep entertaining you, the masses. What do we think about that, audience? Has he earned his rest? Or do we want to see him play again?

R: Just let me die... I can't live with this. I saw everything, I saw everything. Just let me-

H: And you'll see so much more.

R: No, no, please JUST LET ME DIE!

H: Ah, well it seems the audience has made their decision Ranboo, are you ready to hear it?

R: Please I... I don't know...

H: The audience has voted... for you... to die!

R: Wha.. wha--

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

(ao3)

The worst thing, Bad knows, is the way that nothing changes. 

The clouds move slow across the sky, gentle giants on an eternal trek. The waters dance with fish; the brooks burble and sing. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows. 

On, and on, and on, and on. 

Bad breathes in, slow, and holds it. 

It’s enough to go mad over. To become enraged for. To rip everything down just so that everything can match the- the keening lack in his heart. Grass grows. Grass has always grown. There is nothing that could ever stop grass from growing. 

His hands are curled into the ground at his sides. He clutches handfuls of the wretched plant and pulls, almost gently, and doesn’t snap a single blade.

He exhales, slow, and doesn’t inhale again. What point is there? He’s alone. No one will know whether or not he needs to breathe. He’s been alone before- days that Dapper doesn’t wake up, days where the other eggs are with their other parents. Days where he falls asleep in his chair and the ghosts are left to amuse themselves. He’s been alone before. 

He’s lost before. 

There is a sob in his throat. He refuses to let it out. It chokes him, and he takes another deep breath to try to settle it. 

There’s always- he misses Skeppy. Of course he misses Skeppy. He can’t lose Skeppy, but Skeppy isn’t here.

Dapper isn’t here. Pomme isn’t here. Richarlyson. Leo. Ramon. Chayanne. Tallulah. They’re-

Bad tears the grass out of the ground. He stares at his hands, dark claws curled around torn green plant. He tries to imagine the grass is white fur instead, but he can’t find the enthusiasm. That’s okay. The anger will be back later. 

He just- he can’t feel much beyond the loss, right now. The lack. The empty, quiet island where sheep eat grass and clouds keep moving and no eggs place any signs at all. That’s not okay, but he knows that, at least, will change. That’s how grief works. The world ends, and you end with it, and while you claw yourself up from the rubble the world ends again and sends you back under, and then again, and then again, but by the third go around you know what the tremors look like. You start to predict where it hurts the most. Then the world keeps ending but the ending just becomes a part of your world, and sometimes everything shakes but you shake with it and it’s not okay but it’s better. You get so used to the shaking that sometimes you forget that your world ever ended at all. 

How long will it take for him to forget them? 

Bad leans forwards, slowly, until he slumps into a miserable little puddle of limbs. He presses his cheek into the cool grass and when the sob rises up again he bites it back with teeth. The sun is blocked by a sombrero, now fallen awkwardly over his face, that Foolish had cheerfully placed on his head hours before. Bad doesn’t know why Foolish had put it there- except he does, and he’d seen it in the in the slightest tremor of Foolish’s smile, and so he’d kept it on. 

He can’t see them, but he can hear them laughing. Mouse, Jaiden, and Foolish, just around the corner. There have been so many people ‘just around the corner’ today. They’re so loud. They’re not the right type of loud. He feels guilty for the way that they’re comforting him, that he’s taking up their time, and then he feels angry that he feels guilty because he remembers the cage, and he knows what he really means to them, and-

They’re still here. The eggs are gone, and they’re still here. 

Forever isn’t here. 

Forever hasn’t given him a gift basket yet. 

…

…It doesn’t work. It’s a close thing, though- there’s a flicker of irritation at the thought of Forever’s awful, handsome face. Not anger, not nearly enough emotion to fill the void that is Bad’s heart, but maybe it could be. He’ll try again tomorrow. Isn’t that fun? Isn’t that something? There’s so much emotion he can’t feel any of it at all. 

Maybe it’s a bad dream. There were no remains. There was just Dapper’s top hat, and Pomme’s beret. No shell, no dead eggs. No eggs. It’s driving him mad, the maybe-yes maybe-no nature of his children’s fate.

He thinks, maybe, that tomorrow he will build a drill. 

Today, the world is dark beneath the sombrero, and the grass is scratchy and full of small twigs. Foolish laughs once, too loud. Automatically, Bad pushes himself up, because he knows Foolish, and knows how long he’s been away from the group, and he feels sick. He fumbles for his warpstone and- Foolish’s head pops around the corner- Bad freezes. Too late. 

Foolish looks at him, grin bright and neverending. Bad looks back. He can’t bring himself to say anything- he drops the sombrero at their feet. 

Foolish’s smile fades. Bad activates his warpstone again and, though the particles, he sees Foolish give him a sharp, left-handed salute. Bad can’t bite back his little laugh; Foolish knows him, too.

And then Foolish is gone. The world is purple. Then the world ends, once again, in Bad’s home. All of Dapper’s machines have stopped. Echoing noise to almost-echoing silence. Ah. Right. None of the island’s machines are working correctly. Bad will have to make a smaller drill. But he will build his drill, and he will dig, and he will find his son. 

“Dapper?” he calls, his voice cracking. The sound echoes. Only the animals answer back- they’re the only thing that stops the base from being completely silent. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows. There’s so many animals here. What good company. It occurs to Bad, suddenly, that they’re good company. Dapper is gone, and his animals are still here, and Bad- 

He won’t kill Dapper’s pets. He is suddenly holding his scythe and he won’t hurt his son’s pets because he can’t trade them for his son and there’s a special sort of heartache to the fact that his son left behind instructions to machines that don’t work and so many animals that can’t keep Bad company the way Dapper kept him company and Bad- 

He’s holding his scythe. He’s holding the Sunshine Protector. He tries to take a breath but it comes out stuttery and he bites his tongue and. Dapper was-is always so sweet. He made Bonnie to keep Bad company, and Bad is always haunted by little ghosts but now most of all he is haunted by the love of his son. 

“Where are you?” His voice cracks on the third word. He stumbles to Dapper’s room and doesn’t think about the fact that they never got to build one for Pomme.  

The hole in his heart could swallow an island. 

Please don’t take- 

The scythe gets left outside. Bad can’t bear to look at it. Protector. There is a secure door in front of him that keeps nothing secure because now there is nothing to protect and Bad- 

-my sunshine away. 

He falls to his knees next to the empty bed. He chokes out, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Dapper.”

When the sob rises again, he lets it.

[darlingian]

"People say I look happy

Just because I got skinny

But the old me is still me and maybe the real me

And I think she's pretty"

Skinny - Billie Eillsh

[hyp-fixator]

HUHH???

Oh my.. oh my god....

WAAAAAUGHHHHH

[abyssalreds]

gege needs to retire his character death note and hand it off to asagiri i swear 😭

[blueskittlesart]

Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻‍♀️

you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!

[hauntingblue]

Zoro with tashigi makes me so insane.... "I can't tolerate your existence" "you say all the stupid things she said"

[bunnihearted]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

[mummer]

literally what do you MEAN the coyote got run over offscreen and the roadrunner is alone and left unchased!!!!!!!!!!

[wittyworm]

oh god, learning about the origins of tobacco, or tabako, and the spirit that is being used and abused in these massive tobacco companies is actually breaking my heart.... my taino great grandmother died from a lung disease because of years of habitual tobacco smoking........ god i wish i could talk to her now