#a lot of people already know her from my fic tho lol

[sehodreams]

hi hi ! idk if you’ve been asked/answered this already but do u have any recs for blogs/works like yours?? i love your works!! but its so hard for me to find other ones like them, thanks !!

Blogs like mine? 🫠 Uhm I have no idea hahaha, I don't feel my work has the same vibes of the masterpieces I like here, I could give recommendations of blogs/works I like here tho! I don't feel comfortable tagging them because they might not like it, sorry but after one situation I went through I prefer to just mention them like this or perhaps putting the link, just to make sure I don't bother anyone 🫥👌

1. @/muntitled has a ton of fanfics I love, her Sungchan fics are top tier, and the possessive! jealous!Sungchan is like a blueprint here in the community ❤️‍🔥 (darkish content)

2. @/5ungchan HAS THE BEST SHOTARO FIC HERE GO AND READ IT, DARK, CHOCKING, PLOT, SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE 😫 (darkish content)

3. @/riizeblr I enjoy all their work a lot! Like I'm sure I'm one of her biggest fans, I always have my notifications for her on and everything she writes is a masterpiece (I have a ton of respect for her too because she writes mostly drabbles and how the hell do people do that and put plots too??? She's fucking awesome!). Also, pretty sure you know her already because she's got a steady place in the community (she was the first dark!riize writer if I'm not wrong) but I'll still mention her haha (dark content)

4. @/snoopyana is taking a bit of a break after an accident, and she's also known so you probably know her (damn riize Tumblr writers are all pretty known I fear 😫), but I like her Anton fics a lot! Maybe so you can repeat them hahaha (dark/darkish content)

5. @/tonisbabydoll is still fairly new, she just started a Wonbin series! But I'll be honest, I'm sure she's mostly known as the riize Twitter link girl too 😂, I have a lot of respect because she can come with things so fast???? Like I have no idea how her brain works but she has a ton of ideas for her asks. Also, she's mostly into hard hours. (Sometimes darkish but she's more into tame stuff)

6. @/b1mbodoll writes for many groups (no riize) and it might not be your taste since she has a lot of hybrid!aus but I ADORE HER WORK. She's one of the few blogs I've seen write for &team and I'm a big Nicholas fan so she saved me 😭😭😭 (dark)

7. @/dr0wnme0ut has great fics too! However she's not a riize writer (she writes for Enhypen). Lately I've been reading more stuff from other fandoms because I've also been having problems finding riize fics my taste 😫 but Enhypen is a great option! I love them so much just because of their fanfiction lol, it has that little weirdness I adore 😍❤️‍🩹 (dark blog too)

8. @/teasteeper writes for wayv and I adore her loser!yangyang, it gave me reason to live too and I tried to write for him but I'm afraid I don't know them that well and the fic got abandoned 😫 (darkish content)

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

Hello ^^ kind of new here saw a piece of your art in the Arcee tag and lost your art style is SO PRETTY and uhm I have like two questionsss

First question What do you think of the female autobots the ones led Elita I think there's Greenlight Moonracer Lancer Firestar and Chromia likely someone else I'm forgetting- tho if you don't know who I'm talking about pls just ignore this question :'D Second question what are the ships that you ship? I already saw your a Arcee x Hotrod/Rodimus shipper which I love :) but what other ships do you like/ship? This is way longer than it should have been I'm sorry TvT

Oh no! It's okay! Don't apologize, I love when people ask me things about Transformers ^^ and thank you so much for liking my art! I love drawing Arcee so much lol, I think I've done her over ten times on this blog so far.

So, to answer the first question, I've heard of some of the female autobots, Chromia and Elita 1, and a little of Moonracer. I like them a lot. I'm actually rewatching Transformers series and trying to delve into the comics so I can get some of their mannerisms and quirks to implement into my own AU. I love the different types of female bots, especially ones that lean into cultures like Windblade does.

Some of the ships I like are related to my AU and some aren't.

I like seeing Skystar or Jetstar, which is Skyfire/Jetfire x Starscream. But I also love a platonic fluff between them as well. Both are just adorable.

Like you've stated, I do ship Hot Rod/Rodimus x Arcee. I just thought they were adorable, especially since I grew up watching my father's copy of the Transformers: The Movie ever since I was 5.

Oplita, Optimus x Elita, is undeniably the cutest one I've shipped, and the most heartbreaking one at that too for reasons I won't disclose to not spoil my fic.

I like Megoplita, Megatron x Optimus x Elita too for the drama.

Starscream x Arcee is also a ship I've delved into here and I don't mind the dynamic, but it's situational to the continuity. I like tfp Starcee if I'm being honest.

Arcee and Springer in g1 was also cute.

Windblade and Starscream was also a dynamic I thought was interesting.

I've recently been seeing Jazz and Prowl everywhere and I think it's fucking hilarious so obviously I love that too.

When I first watched g1 when I was younger, I shipped Nightbird and Megatron together from g1. I still kind of do, but in a more.. toxic work boss and doll baby employee kind of thing. Like a more tame version of Megstar.

Wavewave or Shockwave and Soundwave interested me for a bit, but I doubt it would last much due to the lack of physical emotion from both of them. It would most likely be for strengthening power and transactional reasons.

I'll have to really watch more transformers media to look more into ships, really. But I'd love to hear your ships personally. I'm always open to learning what other people like.

[allastoredeer]

I just read your entire Just Kiss Already series up to the latest one with the huge fight between the two and ARGH you write them both so well!! Especially Lucifer, his anxiety and stumbling-through-his-words dialogue that makes him oh so relatable to me are perfect. And as an English Language and Literature graduate who's not a native English speaker, your writing has some GREAT vocabulary and phrases I absolutely love.

As someone aroaceage myself (on all 3 spectrums not 100% completely aromantic, asexual, or agender, just FYI since people forget it's a spectrum and then attack me way too often and now I'm wary) it's so refreshing to see another aroace person writing Alastor with his "I hate personal space invasion" attitude that I share. I strictly hate giving up my privacy and your explanation for how Al feels makes so much sense (and also makes me feel like I won't be friendless my whole life, so thanks :') if Alastor can end up with someone despite hating intimacy and if Lucifer can despite being awkward and desperate then damn. Maybe so can I). Oh, and Vox being the pathetic desperate wet tissue he is is soo entertaining. I don't babygirl-ise characters often but he's just so. Fun to watch embarass himself. I can't help it.

I came to your blog just to say this but got a lot of RadioApple discourse that I'm honestly a bit intimidated by since I wasn't aware of all this happening at all, I just follow a very select few creators and now I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong. Personally I don't care much about top/bottom dynamics (except in certain situations) so I'm just confused and worried lol. And what's with the outfits and likes??? I'm out of the entire loop. But I'm glad conversations are happening when they should!

Anyway, I canNOT wait for more from your series, wherever it goes. I'd draw fanart or write fics in your AU with your permission but I'm currently having every creative block known to humanity for several years. Somehow.

I usually comment on AO3 itself but you connected your Tumblr after every chapter so it felt right to come here, even tho I'm not too active on social media sites. I hope you don't mind my mostly-unrelated rambles. All the kudos to your fics!

First and foremost: You aren't doing anything wrong.

It's fine if you're out of the loop. There's really no loop to begin with. It's just some fandom tropes and characterizations a handful of us don't enjoy seeing and we're ranting about it LOL If you like any of those tropes or characterizations, or follow people who make art/fics with them, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's no need to be worried, you're doing just fine 😊

Secondly, THANK YOU!!!

I don't think anyone is 100% ace, aro, or agender, it's a spectrum, afterall. There's no meter you have to reach to be considered 100% a sexuality, you just are :) If you say you're ace, aro, or agender, that's what you are, and anyone who wants to argue about it can go kick rocks.

I base a lot of how I write Alastor's aceness on myself, so hearing people say they feel the same is just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) It's so amazing to hear. I'm a very private person and I like my personal space; I'm not a very physically touchy person, and thankfully, I have an amazing friend (who's love language is physical touch and affection) who knows and understands this and doesn't touch or hug me without permission - I love her so much T.T

Vox is such a pathetic wet tissue and that's what I love about him

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I wanna give him a little kiss on his big, flat forehead.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics and relating to them so much. I don't think there's a higher compliment an author can get than their readers saying that they saw themselves in the story and characters. It's such an amazing feeling, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Once your creative block lets up - whenever that may be - you have my full permission to draw and write as much as you want in my AU.

Thanks for visiting my tumblr!! Sorry you felt intimidated by the discourse, that's not fun. Just know that you're not doing anything wrong, and whatever fandom content you engage with is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it ^.^ Fandom is escapism and we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you for your rambles!! I enjoyed reading them!!

[kpchrs]

I think between shippers (and this is me saying this, an outsider to both ships) there’s Def the nagging voice saying “Coriolanus sucks irl” in everyone’s mind

So that’s Def a part of the civility in my opinion. Like why fight when the main guy in your ship is the worst guy alive. Bonding moment IG lol

LMFAO You are so right, Anon. Bonding moment for real. As some people in the post's comment said, "we both share the toxic blond" and also "we're trauma-bonded".

But I think it's not really a nagging voice. We all know Coriolanus Snow fucking SUCKS. If you compile all of my thoughts about him from everywhere, the majority is me clowning on him actually. I want to do violence to him.

It's funny, and I'm sorry for the out of topic, but this...wish makes me fantasising about a "Coriolanus Snow & Conscience!Reader" Crack AU. I've told some of my friends but just for fun I will tell a little bit here:

Okay, the premise is right in Chapter 1, we the readers/the fans whatever you wanna call us, get inside his head and it's up to us to try to put him on a good(?) path. (Emphasis on TRY.) Or actually, it's just an excuse or catharsis for us, especially me, to clown him in his head tho, because his thoughts are so deranged, yeah? It will be fun to mock him, tease him, and "scold" him, and we will bicker a lot, and he can't do aaanything about it.

So it's like this (below has some real excerpt of Chapter 1 of the book [page 3-4] but switched to present tense):

This morning he went to her room at daybreak, only to find both his cousin and the shirt missing. Not a good sign. [...] He thinks of people putting a price on her. With her long, pointed nose and skinny body, Tigris is no great beauty, but she has a sweetness, a vulnerability that invites ab-- NOOOOOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT YOUR OWN COUSIN?! The voice -- scream -- comes out of nowhere and echoes very near in his ears (inside him?). To say it surprises Coriolanus is an understatement. Grabbing on air, he fails to stop himself from slipping and falling on his bottom.

Lol.

I'm not sure I want to write it because writing, even more in English, is daunting, but it's really fun to think about. It will be on the Snowbaird route, though. I imagine we will follow his love story with Lucy Gray, but I think...we will unfortunately fight over her.

LOOK! At Lucy Gray's arrival, The Voice screeches annoyingly loud in his head. It's my girl! Even after weeks, Coriolanus still hasn't decided if The Voice is a crazy part of him or an entirely separate entity somehow attached to his mind. However, the possessive term it used tugs the wrong string deep in his chest. Whether it makes sense or not, he hisses at it, 'She's not your girl.' The brief silence that follows is the most peace he gets these recent days. Oh shit, you are jealous. 'I am not.' You totally are. Just like with Billy Taupe. C'mon, I'm inside your head. I know. 'I am not.' Listen, Coryo-- 'Stop calling me that.' --just accept that Lucy Gray is everyone's girl, okay? She's my girl. She's not really just yours. 'Who in the Gem of Panem is everyone? Who even are you?' I can't tell you that. It's against the rules. 'What rules?!' Uh-uh, still can't tell. Give it up already, Coryo. Coriolanus is losing his mind. He has had a talking creature inside his head for weeks and it is just now he truly feels he is losing his mind.

Lol. Writing is hard, huh. Okay, I'm not sure this is categorised as a character & reader fic now that I used third person, not second person pov, but eh xD

I'm willing to talk about it more though, if anyone is interested!

Thank you for the ask and the space to bullshit, Anon!

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"You don't know my name, do you? Will you ever?"

Summery: beomgyu keeps his promises--he walks you from and sometimes to work, hangs out there with you. its all very comfortable and usual for the both of you. he even orders the same thing every time he comes in: your wonderful hot chocolate you make him. noting is new, its all been done before a thousand times between the two of you. why? you and Beomgyu have been friends for ever. that's great. You and him have also become a sort of... intertwined. more than just being together; youve grown together. also great. but what happens when you do something out of the ordinary? or rather, maybe the two of you stop keeping your promises and let the feelings youve pushed down so hard you feel like youre about to combust bubble up? also great.

a/n: long hair gyuuuuuu based on 'you don’t know my name'!!!!! its one of my favorite (if not my singular favorite) song by her. and besides... come on y'all, its beomgyu so I had to lol. yerin and I talked about this during he 300 subs special (even though SHE doesn't seem to remember it lmao) so here I am holding up my end of the deal and making my fic based on this song. if you liked it please leave some love such as commenting and or reblogging!

warnings/info: slow burn I guess, kissing, reader and Beomgyu go to a party, mentions of people fucking, Beomgyu gets in an extremely heated argument with a complete stranger at said party, I feel like I ranted a bit too much with the fic, a little poem-ish at times I think, reader and gyu are scared to go into uncharted territory with thier friendship, lots and lots and lots of talk of reader and beomgyu needing to control themselves around each other, cursing, beomgyu being sweet and them slow dancing cause that's a warning in itself, one joke about beomgyu and reader fucking? idk its not said explicitly tho this was way too self indulgent I apologize, friends to lovers, reader is gn.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in now way meant to be taken as an actual or real representation of anyone~

••••••••••••••••••••••

A sharp, wind chime sounding ping makes you spring out of your thoughts to look at the door. Your smile. Huh right on the dot. Your eyes are met with the handsome fetures of your most frequent customer: beomgyu. Hair touching the nape of his neck and eyes bright as ever despite the mugginess outside. though its not all bad-- it makes him remember how one time last winter on your usual walk-from-your-work-with-him, he had stood behind you and wrapped you in his coat, bringing you flush with his clothed chest. it was oversized on him and noting, he thinks, could have prepared him for how you melted into him.

you noticed his wandering eyes and raise you voice to snap him out of it.

“why do you look like that?” you ask. it’s slow at work right now and you say that because you don’t want him to notice your heart pounding. You know if you don’t distract him he’ll do so. He pays enough attention and knows you all too well to hide it. “oh I dunno I just went for a run. No! It’s because it’s raining buckets out there!” “Yeah YOU running? That didn’t sound right” his mouth hangs open a little "um excuse you." he puffs his chest out. "I-I run." the way he's shaking his head while speaking gives him away if you already didn't know him so well. maybe a little too well. but, you tried not to think about that too much. how you

“I’ll have the hot chocolate” he says, although you know what would fall out of his lips just the Same as last time, and the time before that. And many roles before. You know how he likes it (extra sweet. “Just like you” he says. Before you squeeze you nose) but seriously you don’t think you’ve ever known someone who liked such a sugary thing. It nearly tasting like straight candy

“not many people order hot chocolate in the summer. You sure you want that?” “Yeah, it’s a comforting drink ya know.” Something he always used to drink as a kid. Before he met you. Before he didn’t have to watch what he said around someone like you because of half giddy and half eyes to the floor bashfulness he’ll feel if he slips up and gets a little too flirty. Says something a little too strong to you. Not that you’d mind. No, not at all. But he doesn’t need to know you feel that way.

"Yeah but with everything?" you ask, still making it but wondering anyways. He leans further in, putting his hands on the table. "How come you're just asking me this now? we've been doing this for such a long time and now is when it pops into your mind that it's weird to have it with breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" you roll your eyes at him. but really, you weren't annoyed at all. the truth was you awaited the never-the-same times he'd come in and order that same, warm and comforting drink. (it depend on his classes, and or what he had to do inbetween) It had gotten on the point where one of the other workers there would tap your shoulder and let you know that he was there when you didn't notice.

"your guy is here." one of the workers there would tell you. In a moment of weakness, beomgyu would pop into your mind and your eyes would go wide as you looked for him. "he's not my guy." you'd try and cover your tracks but with the knowing smile on your work friends face as they walked away, you knew it wasn't any use.

"we've been doing this forever." his words rung in your ears. he was right. you had been. you'd both been seeing each other so much and resisting the bubbling urge to kiss the shit out of each other. You'd been inching dangerously close to him, but never as close as you really wanted and craved, the warmth of his heart ghosting your skin... forever. he'd been avoiding your gaze-- the one that made him feel like all the four seasons were swirling up inside him and somehow all their wonder landing in you, seeping out in all the little things you did... forever. To be honestly, neither of you knew how long you could keep this up.

but here you are, thinking of and loving noting more than seeing his eyes fill with excitement as you hand him the mug. he cups it with both his hands even though it isn't cold inside so it wasn't like he needed to warm his hands. "You know, you should just keep your own mug here." you comment. he looks up at you, about to take a sip and obviously not very happy you interrupted his almost-bliss. though, in his mind, it wasn't that different-- no, it could not compare to the feeling he got around you. "Or maybe I should just bring one with me." he jokes, lips pursing to blow the steam off the surface of the delicious smelling drink. "Yeah," you nod, "and bring a plate while you're at it-- you know what," you lean on the counter in front of him, knuckles going under your chin and fingertips folded enough to touch the beginning of your palm. And he'd rather not look at you through the fog emanating from the porcelain mug so he puts it down, leaning in for dramatic effect. "Better yet, take it with you when you leave so I don't have to wash it!" you eyes go wide and you throw your hands up like you just had the best idea of the century-- better than sliced bread.

he puts a hand to his chest, leans back with his mouth hung wide open, and then gets up with his hands to his head pulling at his hair like he just had an epiphany. you laugh freely as he walks around in a circle. once he's back at the counter he slams his hands down on the edge of it and looks all serious. "You've got it, y/n! this is gonna make history!" he exclaims. You take a bow just for kicks and when you come back up his expression has suddenly changed. its gone much... softer, a smile is tugging at his lips and he can't help it but to let it free once he sees your smiling face again... smiling because of him, too. because of the joy you two make together. its unmatched, really. His fingertips feel flushed like his face, and aren't holding on so tightly to the cold metal edge of the counter. he's leaning in now, for what reason he doesn't really know. damn, he wants and fucking needs to be closer to you. he feels it in his core.

Then, he makes the mistake of looking into your eyes and in an instant you send him on a whirlwind. usually he distracts himself and looks at something else but he just couldn't bring himself to this time. He wants to set up an easel and capture your entire expression right here but your eyes... your eyes he's sure made his plan he's trying to stick to of not getting caught in your gaze. or, better yet, not getting caught gazing at you. but, for someone he knows so well and for so long, it wasn't easy. because, every time you speak, every time he looks at you, every time he even thinks of you, his mind starts to cloud with all the goodness he sees inside you. every inch of your mind he knows and all the other filled up spaced he wants to adventure into.

How could he stop his mind from getting tied up in the wonder of a human that was you? He sure couldn't, and nobody in their right mind would be able to. He snaps himself out of his thinking before you can think to do it yourself. Lord knows if you caught him spacing out at a time like this you'd give him one of your infamous smacks on the ears and he'd shriek so loud out of surprise people outside would hear him. "You're making me waste valuable time on drinking this." he chuckled, holding a finger up to you to signal: one minute, as he takes a few big gulps. he puts the cup down and leans back.

"one of your best, y/n." he complements.

you raise an eyebrow. "Oh? so there's a hierarchy and competition for best of y/ns hot chocolate now? if I would've known I would've made it look all cute." you said, getting back to work behind the counter. the place was pretty dead at the moment but there was still a few things needing tone done. "Come to think of it, I should deduct points for not putting a cinnamon heart on the surface." he wonders aloud. "Oh so just a heart would suffice? noting else?" you ask him. "well why not?" he nearly giggles, "Thought you loved me." You simply smile and roll your eyes at him, not really having the opurtunity to have any type of conversation like that here. although you wanted to. and it didn't really have to go the way you intended it. but if he-- or the both of you for that matter, were gonna go there, then you might as well and a full on sit down talk about it. again not that you didn't want to at all-- in fact, you'd thought about how it'd go down plenty more times then truly necessary. And what better place to have it in than where you two had met?

maybe it was just you making excuses for yourself; for putting it off just one more day. one more week. one more month. or basically one more eternity of longing stares and cut of sentences where, you wanna say more but ultimately fail to. the conversation now seemingly over, he shrugs and finishes his drink.

He stays and orders another extra extra sweet, practically caffeinated, slap you in the face to jolt you into operating at top speed crack drink that was his or your signature hot chocolate. this is a habit of his-- one he'd likely have to break soon if this floating feeling of his keeps up and un-in check. but a habit the both of you cherish-- where he comes in and stays until you have to leave. most of the time you don't even get to talk much. but the comfort that comes right along with your presence around each other makes up for it. thats another habit with the two of you: just being in the same room and doing different things. it was pure comfort just being around each other. maybe looking over and smiling at the other or striking up a conversation that could last a minute or the rest of time he was there or in other situations, the rest of time you'd were together-- however long you both wanted it, really. and it was never awkward, either. the silence never aching.

that's how it was when you first started walking back to your respective places after your shift. another habit of his, one you hope, along with the others, would never die. him staying for a while, talking a bit... or a lot with you, then walking together. usually it was him walking you home but others it'd just be whatever you two wanted that day. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his acid washed jeans when you look over at him.

"Did you grow or something?" you question.

"maybe you shrunk, hm?" he countered.

you narrowed your eyes at him. he turns to you and does the same. "Very adult of you." You scoff. "You started--" then, realizing that continuing to say was he was going to wasn't going to help his case in the slightest. It barely falls silent for a second before he, in a moment of either weakness or some extreme courage he doesnt know, he slows down a little, gently puts his hands onto your waist, finger finding place scrunched in your shirt, and stills you. though, with the rapid beating of your heart you didn't need any help to do so. He gently moves you to the inside of the sidewalk. he doesn't know why. it's kinda stupid really. he doesn't even have a reason expect that's how you two are usually walking. but it isn't ever really intentional. Usually he just gets out the door of the diner first and you follow soon after. but he liked it that way. it felt warm and comfortable.

he clears his throat. "So, you were saying?" you look back up at him, not too stunned to speak or anything just....thinking. time still in its frozen capsule like it was a moment ago with his hands on your waist. "I feel like you've grown." you say simply, verbally shrugging. he takes a look at his own arms as if that would give him an idea as to what you're talking about. "I know you haven't but," you sigh, unsure of where you're even going with this, "I dunno you seem different." the both of you are still facing forward, not having looked at each other since a minute ago. "Is that a good thing or a bed thing?" You smile. "good. definitely good." "that's good that it's good." he laughs.

"oh piss off!" You chuckle at him, shaking you head. a second later you don't hear his steps anymore and turn around to see him saying "gladly." and start to walk in the other direction. You yell at him to get his ass back here and he turns on his heel, trotting back to you with a smile on his face, eyes hidden by his hair as he looks down. "But yeah," you say once he's back to walking beside you, "You've defiantly grown. not in height, but how you are as a person now." he hums. "I guess I can see that. you have too, you know?" you quirk and eyebrow.

"like--" he takes a breath, "You've grown... not like you act completely different now, but you've just--" you get what he's trying to say. "Blossomed?" He nods, but before he can start talking again you're already opening your mouth. "So have you. Not like you weren't someone I wanted to spend a lot of time with when were first met but you've grown into this person who-who has so much depth to them. like sure, you look a little different and youve changed your hair countless times, but I think you've bloomed in a way. And I love that you have; that you've made yourself out to be who you are right now." he purses his lips together.

"hey, it's not all me, ya know? Ive only been able to grow the way you said I have because I've got you by my side. actually, no, more than that, I've got you coaching me and trying to help. And have you taken a look In the mirror? its not just me that's grown internally since we've both met. I feel like... You're more you know than you were before. or at least not as afraid to show who you are." "that's cause I have you cheering me on, beom." he smiles at the nickname, something you've had for him forever. just like how you've been learning each other inside and out forever. But he also smiles at himself. he was your personal hype man, as you'd say, wasn't he? "And im really proud of you for flourishing like you have." he says. "Im proud of us." you counter, "for both becoming more than we were before."

all that was missing was two glasses to toast. "Yeah, and we're achieving that together, too. we have been forever. and I know that's why its unfolding so beautifully-- it takes the two of us to pull something so great off like that." you try not to get all fluttery inside by the prospect of him thinking that you're "great." cause there isn't much to it, really. plain and simple. he thinks you're great... or the journey youve taken with him so far is great or whatever... it should stop there for you. but that's the thing: with him, it never does.

It kinda hits the both of you right in the face at that moment. and you realize all you need to know about how the other person feels the same way when your caught looking at each other and saying more or less the same thing of: "wow, I think our lives are intwined now and I love that."

as the minutes go on, you both talk about some of the ways youve seen this with each other-- growing internally as youve both said. You bring up something, then him, it goes on like this until you both have a realization. "...But seriously, though." you cause, "Im glad that we're like this." "Im happy we can be like this too. and to be honest, I don't just want to be a better person, I wanna be a better person with you." he quickly cocks his head to the side, almost like he was punctuating his sentence. "I was just about to say that! I like growing with you. it's amazing. and you make me want to be better. not in a competitive way though. I just wanna move along with life with you next to me."

He puts a hand to his chest, hopping it would distract him from how fast his heart was beating. It had the opposite affect, though, drawing his attention to it under his palm. "Im glad youve been in my life for so long." he says, wondering jut how far he was going to take all this confessing how wonderful it was to have you by his side. wouldn't this make more of an impact on he both of you than just making you smile? or was he making it more than it was? he probably was to be honest; friends tell each other how much they value each other all the time. just... probably the ones who's heart feels like its about to lift him up and fly him away to the moon, stay away from it.

"And I am glad we're in each others lives to often that we can brighten each others days whenever the other needs it." he nods in agreement, not trusting himself to talk more because he'll surely say all that he thinks of you... and us. the rest of the walk is spent back in the comfortable, fireplace like silence like the first couple minutes of it. Once you get to your front door and your back is turned, he draws in a breath. "It is wonderful to have you in my life, y/n. I don't think you can understand how great it is and how much I love it." you're about to swing open your door but you turn around to look in the eye. "Me too. I love how it feels to have you by my side." you really wish you had something more to say but it seems like its enough for him. cause a second later and he's nearly skipping away from your door. You shake you head at him and go inside.

He scratches the back of his neck, thinking entirely too much about what you had said to him. There was a thousand ways you could have meant hit but for some reason he only wanted to think of it as one. the one where you actually secretly wanted to kiss him every time you hugged goodbye. One where you'd invite him into your place for hot chocolate and he'd stay, and long, long while; only really going back to his home for clothes cause fuck, if he had you like that he wouldn't dream of letting you go or leaving you for as long as he could.

God, It was almost uncanny how, you knew what to call him, but his name? that was something else entirely it felt like now.HIs own name had come to be you. that was how much you were written on his heart; written like law on stone. so engraved in his mind that he felt like you were with him all his life... except with this it was more like someone who knew him his entire life but suddenly stoped paying attention for a very important mile marker, then suddenly started up paying attention again, completely glossing over something that was so important to him. Like his name: but now youve replaced it with your own an the wasn't mad about it. and you didn't know, did you? would you ever know his name?

and, in the middle of all his swirling like a hurricane that brought peace instead of distruction, he wondered if you were ever feeling the same thing. did you think of him the way he thought of you?

He knew everything about you, as did you, he, you thought as you slipped off your shoes at the door. But you figured that, since friends need to be honest as much as they can, that wasn't entirely true. cute there was this one, not so small thing youve never shared with him. something that was such a big part of you it might as well be your name. The way you felt when he was near, when you thought of him, fuck, even when someone mentioned him. at this point, him-- and feeling this was about him was such a bug thing that it had become a part of you. he had become a part of you. and just like a name it was something you wanted and needed to tell the whole world. including him.

but there was the problem, you couldn't just scream it out for everyone to hear. that's why youve been waiting. Even though it was takin g a long time for him to figure out that big giant part of you that thad become as second nature as a name. Beomgyu was smart, but apparently he was stupid when it came to this. but seriously, with all the slip ups youve been having recently, you're starting to wonder if he's deliberately not understanding you and your feelings. Like is he that dense or does he just not want you?

You shoot him a message none the less; telling him to text when he got home unless you'll start to worry.

===

The next time you talk was on the phone on your way to work. He likes to walk you there, too. but today just happened to be one of those days where it couldn't happen. But you missed his presence on the street that reminded you of the talk you had yesterday so the next best thing was to call him. "Hey, it's the server from the diner." You say. "yeah, I know." It was a throwback to when he'd given his number to the place so he could get a free delivery. Though he was hoping you'd pick up on it and call him. and you did. you were the one who had to call to let him know his order had arrived and was currently getting cold outside his door. you had ended the call with him apologizing profusely.

One thing lead to another and you made a follow up call on how the food tasted. you heard him smiling from the other end of the phone as he says, "great as always." You barely thought he would even pick up so you didn't know what to say after that. "especially the hot chocolate." he aded then. And now you're the one smiling uncontrollably. After a few minutes on the phone that day your heart is leaping with excitement. so the next time he comes in, you talk with each other more freely. and now you had his number so when he doesn't come in for a few days you remembered mustering up the courage to text him. "I really wanted to come over there. hot chocolate would probably help cure whatever I have." you felt stupid. duh of course he was just sick, why were you so worried?

within the hour, hot chocolate was delivered to his door free of cost.

and that's when the friendship began; with him texting you an entire paragraph just to say thanks for the gesture and you two talking back and forth, heart seemingly on the edge of its seat, about hot chocolate and hot drinks in general.

"You know... our manager is always telling us to use water," you repeat now what you said all that time ago, "But I always use milk and cream for you." He's snapped back to the present, with you on the other end of the phone, wind whipping in the mic. "aww you really do care, don't cha?" he laughs, smug smile gracing his lips.he can practically hear you roll your eyes from the other end of the phone. "your welcome." you drawled. "I sincerely thank you for your sacrifice of cream and milk." he said, and it sounds like a joke, but still he's smiling in gratitude none the less. youre about to joke about how he needs to repay you... somehow. but he beats you to it. though... with the way he starts off, it doesn't sound like fully a joke. but just enough of one where he knows you'll listen.

"And as a formal expression of my forever debt to you, I invite you to attend a party with me." You figured you'd play along, his tone not serious enough for you to spend the brain power to actually think of an answer. "yeah, sure, Beom." It was about as real to you as the both of you staying completely quiet during a movie so you played along. at least, you thought you were playing. beomgyu puts his speaker of his phone up to his mouth, nearly making your ears bleed as he yells into it: "no take backs!" then promptly hangs up.

you roll your eyes at him, a little concerned for future you and him but cracking up none the less. The surprised expression on your face when he comes by later to quote "take the both of you shopping for the party the next day." was so priceless he wished he had whipped out his phone quick enough. "I keep my promises." he reminds you as he sits down at his usual bar stool. And he sure does, like the one he's been keeping, weighing on his heart for so long he feels like its going to crack it n a million pieces impossible to pick up, about just how much he feels for you. he made that promise to you to stick by you as friends for as long as you'd have him there long enough to be forgotten. but now him. he remembers it like it was yesterday and he intends to keep his word, especially to you. who knows which way it would take you if he didn't. and the last thing he needs is for you two to be torn apart.

he slumps on the counter and gives you puppy dog eyes. you sigh "No one told me you were serious. that was coercion; I did not understand the phrasing of the question, therefore--" oh, you wanted court of law? he'd give you court of law. "uh uh" he wriggles his finger in your face. "was this under a false pretense? maybe. but did that initially give you the right to call back and or ask further questions? yes. so for that reason youre guilty!" he slams an imaginary gavel down on the white counter. you turn around to take a breath. he kicks his feat. "come on, y/n! I think it'll be fun. and if not then we'll leave right away and go to my place to watch tv. and we'll get a cute outfit out of it either way!" you think about it for a moment. "I need deodorant anyways!"

well it is important not to have a stench.....

he can tell youre thinking about it and he perks up at the sight of your wheels turning behind your eyes. it was one of this favorite things-- watching you think, weigh your options and all. It wasn't like you completely didn't want to go. there was a part of you, one that was soon going to get bigger youre sure. but a part of you right now none the less. so what was stopping you? you wanted to be close to him. you loved being close to him and that meant doing things together. but in an environment like this.... it might pose a problem to lips kept tightly shut and secrets you held behind your back.

You take one last look at him, and if it's a regular response between friends or in a slip up you don't know, but you agree. he nearly jumps up out of his seat in celebration. Why did he suggest this? who knows. was this a good idea? who. the fuck. knows. maybe because he wanted to do something with you. but it was probably something more than that it the back of his mind that made him call you and ask. but he knows full well what almost happened the last time you two went to a party together. a bunch of "aww youre so cute together!" made it seem all a little too real after a while and as the night went on with him eventually stopping himself from telling the truth to these people and him getting seemingly eaten from the inside when he stopped just reviling in the fantasy and remembered that no, youre not together. The night ended somehow with you two coming dangerously close to kissing.

maybe he really just wanted to spend time with you; a sort of do-over. he could control himself this time. or maybe that's what it was... he wanted to test the waters again-- challenge himself and see if he really could have self control. or maybe, just maybe, in the back of his mind he wanted to test the waters another way. maybe he wanted to know if it'd happen again. of course he wouldn't do anything about it; he wanted to keep his promise to you but something felt like it was knocking at the back of his mind.

once your shift is done, he's got a spring in his step as he opens the door for the both of you and bouncing on his heels with a smile on his face telling you to hurry up. and no, you don't just go shopping for deodorant... but instead spend two full hours shopping around. two full hours that consisted of trying on clothes and the both of you having to bite your tongues. because fucking hell, why'd he have to have such a good style? you perk up as he steps out the dressing room for the third time, already preparing yourself for you heart seemingly about to beat out of your chest. "what do you think?" "I think..." his face sinks.... "oh--" he pouts, "no no! it looks great! its just, its white."

he quirks and eyebrow at you. "I have eyes, ya know? I did pick it out." he reminds you, nose and mouth scrunching up in that classic Beomgyu disgusted face. "spillage." you simply say. his eyebrows got up into his hairline. "youre right." the next out fit he comes out with, a little more spillage proof, is what he decides on. he takes another look in the mirror, sighing. "you really think it looks good?" he questions. "I have eyes, ya know?" you echo him. he spins around into the dressing room, away from you as quickly as possible so you didn't have to see the smile on his face and the rosy tint to his cheeks.

When it comes to you and picking out your outfits, while youre walking ahead of him to the dressing rooms, he closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall so he can think for a moment. or... more stop himself form thinking so much than anything. he knows what he's getting himself into. but How you reacted each time he'd first appear out the dressing rooms door with that wistful glassy look in your eyes, almost like you yourself were trying to stop your gears turning.... Times like that gave him hope that maybe yeah, you felt the same way about him as he did you. because just for a short moment he saw the same look in his eyes that they had on him now; trying so hard to stop thinking about you. you, you, you, you.

"I think a round of applause is in order!" you say.-- twenty minutes in. twenty minutes of him bouncing his leg. twenty minutes of you hiding the way his complements make you feel. twenty minutes of the second you shut the door behind you him screaming internally into his palms and twenty minutes of you doing the same. he smiles at you when you come out. "I know. we have good taste." his cheeks seem to be nearly kissing at his lashes as he smiles and he's driving you crazy. "We do, don't we?" you take another look in the mirror.

"You really think it's--" Youre starting to stress over if the outfit really is worth the buy. you like it a lot. but now youre starting to wonder if its a little too little here or too much there and-- "I have eyes, don't I?" he repeats, you turn around and lock eyes with him for just a second too long not to do anything to the both of your heart rates.

===

fast forward to the next night and youre swinging your door open to see him turned the other way. he spins around as soon as he hears the door. You press your lips together and he unconsciously mimics you. "you look really beautiful!" he beams. he's just being your personal hype man as always, and youre not afraid to say that you love it. "Aw you look really beautiful too."

the words slipped past both of your lips like water through fingers. though, unlike water, the words were thick, with feelings long left in the dark hiding behind them. "Oh? so just beautiful? not really--" You step out toward him, closing the door behind you, making you step just a little bit too close to him than usual. "really really beautiful." you clarified. and this time, he doesn't move his head. "thank you." he whispers, voice softer than his hair. and the both of you are unable to move from your doorstep-- frozen in time and space, with the only thing moving being your rapid heart beats and rising chests.

====

he looks at you beside him and can feel your gears turning inside your head, a sight he so badly wants to get lost in but knows he can't. realizing it'd be bad enough with the gorgeous outfit you were wearing and how he was sure at least someone was going to try and hit on you... he'd rather not start getting himself tangled with you now. but he can't seem to move his neck any other way than craned to his left to look at you.

its was just.... as much as he wants an needs to kiss you so badly.... your so Important to him, he thinks as he lags behind a bit, watching you walk ahead. and your friendship is so important to him that they never want to break it, even if that meant shutting his mouth and staying further away, cause in the end that's really what he wanted: to be and stay friends with you. the reason he stayed never has been and never will be just about what he felt for you. your friendship will always be the most important thing to him and heeds never want to jeopardize that and loose you. he'd rather your friendship stay strong than anything.

Your turn around, beckoning him to come closer. he skips to you, so happy you don't know what to do with yourself. "You know--" "no, I don't. I was hoping you'd tell me." you scoff. "I was going to say that im glad you invited me. Im ready to go be extroverts together now and experience all the bad smells and all the loud noises a party has to offer." he laughs, but he knows youre half serious. and he's fully serious when he says he's happy you came.

====

the noise thumps in your ears, nearing making them ring. the lights are dimmer than you thought needed but it-- along with noise and people constantly bumping into each other, sufficed in making the atmosphere very party-like. cause well, it was a party after all. He follows you, both trying to scout out where the kitchen was. you'd planned to stick together, tighter than you did last time, tighter than when the both of you were bombarded with people asking you about each other, and stick together you did.

even when you two went upstairs, trying to find the bathroom, and stumbled upon a couple people fucking and practically biting each others faces off in the room you thought was the bathroom. Beomgyu shuts the door immediately, any longer and you'd both be traumatized. "get your own room!" you hear from behind the heavy door." He looks at you and you back at him before bursting into laughter. "I mean, did you want to orrrr?" you phrase it as a joke, and though he thinks he hears something in the back of your tone, he only rolls his eyes at you. though his brows go up higher than youve ever seen.

The second he's done in the bathroom you lead in downstairs to where the music was the loudest. "I heard it too." he pants, "I was trying to hurry up." you really couldn't believe they were playing this here. it was almost too perfect, you thought. with his body so close to yours, dancing and enjoying the song you both liked. And suddenly, it didn't feel like you were in a crowded room. and for a moment all you could see, and feel, and smell, was him. him and his fingers now reaching for yours, spinning you around, laughing without a care in the world. like it didnt matter that your heart was about to beat out of your chest, making you float on the floor you were dancing on.

Everyone else-- the entire room was blurred. It was just you, and him. him, and you. just as it should be. this didn't happen all the time-- rather, you didn't let it happen all the time. but when it did... you swore youve never felt anything so natural. so--so right and beautiful. You smile and ease him into a dip, now youre both laughing. when he comes up, somehow both his hands ended up in yours and now he's pulled flush against your body. he feels like you both are taking up so much and too little space at the same time--like the whole floor is yours and yours only. he swallows thickly, neither of you making a move to step away. you know it sounds stupid but for a second you can feel as life your hearts are beating as one. and for a seance he feels like maybe this is really real. that it won't end any second and that he isn't having another day dream about slow dancing with you in one of your living rooms; all comfy and--

"I have to go get some water." you say so low that only he hears over the music. you really shouldnt let it goony further than this. at least not here. and as much as you wanted to keep ignoring everyone around you cause with him, were they even there in the first place? you knew you shouldn't, couldn't keep it up for much longer cause being this close to him only made you wanna kiss the shit out of him. "y-youre not--" you look at the next to no gap between you still, hands still closes around each others tightly. you blink to free yourself from the perfect daze youre caught in. the song was barely even slow enough to slow dance to. what you you doing? "moving? I know." and before he could even ask if you to stay longer, youre already pushing yourself off his chest and out of his grasp.

"You sure you don't want me to just go with you?" he nearly stumbles after you. "beom, its just for a second." You whip around to face him, arms crossed defensibly. "but a lot can happen in a second." yeah, I can see that, you say to yourself, thinking about just a moment before where dancing to a song you both liked turned quickly into something that was going to make you stumble. beom, the name echoed in his mind over and over until it flowed into his heart where all the other times youve laughed or called him by that nickname laid. "listen I know youre just trying to uphold our agreement, but seriously, im fine."

he knows he's probably being too worried for you, but he just can't. epically after you'd done that. with your hands clasping his against his chest. god, he never wanted it to end. little did he know neither did you. you did actually need water, being so close to him like that had a track record of making your throat go dry and fingers go numb. it also had a track record of making you get lost in his glazed over eyes. you find a cup and rinse in out before anything cause who knew where its been. a moment later youre about to refill your cup when you hear the unmistakable sound of Beomgyus shriek. followed by someone yelling at him.

oh god what did he get himself into now?

You run to where you last saw him and, finding him not there you rush to where you saw a few people gathered by the stairs. those people who were now making way for beomgyu flying down them. someone hot with anger and hot on his tale. Your brows furrowed as he zooms past you. "im sorry!" you hear him say, "I probably shouldn't have gotten involved but it looked like a pretty heated argument!" oh god? that was what this was about? "Yah!" the person yells behind him. "that's why you shouldve stayed out of it!" then and Beomgyu are both on opposite ends of the sofa, both waiting for the other to make a move. when the person inches right, beomgyu tips to the left. when beomgyu goes the other way, the person follows his movements.

two of the three people move off the sofa to get out the way. god, he really was fucked, wasn't he? you didn't know what to do, really. you left for five minutes and here he was getting screamed profanities at by some random person. You wanted to help, but as beomgyu brings up to the person how the person they were talking with looked hurt, and how they themself looked hurt as well, you leaned against the door frame and just watched.

it was another one of these situations, huh? they didn't look mad enough to really do much of a number on him anyways, and youd step in to stop them any minute now if beomgyu doesn't leave the argument first. And step in a minute later after beomgyu and the person going back and forth tore you apart from the inside out to one, see him so worried like this, and two, hearing them yell next to you with the loud ass music was starting to make your ears bleed you didn't need to do after all. Beomgyu was backing up with his hands in front of him defensively. it didn't feel like you needed to collect him or keep him out of trouble or anything cause he was intentionally trying to start a fight, but you could tell no one was going to get anywhere with this. or at least beomgyu wasn't going to get what he was looking for from the person. So you figured it best to tell it that you two should leave. you grab him by the shoulders and lead him out the door. you were kinda done with the party anyways, having been there quite enough time already.

"im sorry! I ruined our night, didn't I?" he begs. "but they were saying some pretty shitty things about someone and it looked like it was about to turn physical." he practically pleads with you as the night air nips at whatever wasn't covered on you. you stay silent the whole way back to you place. "What have I told you?" you tell more than ask sternly once he's plopped down on his sofa. he hands his head low. "Not to get in the middle of other peoples problems..." he echoes what you say every time something like this happens-- he thinks he can be be everyones knight In shinning armor, protecter and helper to all by getting himself involved. it usually doesn't have such... strong repercussions. most of the time its when he hers whispers of someone talking about their troubles with someone else and he tries to console them. which is fine on its own, but then comes the part where he's getting all caught up in it and he's getting hurt along with them.

and as much as you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes at the situation he got himself into... you purse your lips and try not to catch his eyes from across the sofa. you lean back. "But im not surprised. And it's not because you never learn or that youre stupid or anything, ok? so don't even go there. but that's just who you are, how youve always been since I met you-- caring so much for people, even people you don't know that you'll end up like this trying to help them sometimes. that's one of the things about you that haven't changed one bit since I've met you." he inches closer as if you hear you better, legs folded criss cross on the cushions and hands on his knees.

"don't make me out to be such a hero." he shakes his head. and this time you move a little closer. "Not saying you are just," you pause, knowing what you want to say but wondering if this really was the right time for it. It felt right in your bones and besides when were you going to get another chance like this one? when just a bit ago his hands fit perfectly in yours and you could feel his raging heartbeat under your palms? It was now or never, right? but really, you werent too sure you'd be able to stop yourself now. you might've been in too deep, but with him, never over your head. "just, youre the kindest person ive ever met. n' I just worry you'll get hurt more than youve already gotten in the past-- like youve gotten in the past when you get invested like this."

youre breathing all heavy for some reason, and he's getting that same glassy look in his eyes as earlier in the night. it reminds you of a sugar honey glaze on sweet fruit or a dessert and you can't help but stare int them. "glad to see you care." he shrugs. only his lips move thankfully just in your field of vision, eyes staying locked on yours. "I thought you knew I did. he's unconsciously leaning forward to you, his body following the magnetic pull that was you. though he's only following what seemed natural. "Thought you knew that I did?" you put your face in your palm, elbow balanced on your knee. "Yeah, but..." he trails off, the both of you now impossibly close.

and closer, and closer, and closer until your lips join in a searing kiss. you both sigh in relief into it, having waited so, so long. now your heart was really beating out of your chest, your fingertips no longer numb but boiling with feeling. his hands go from his knees to your hands, grasping them firmly, but gently just like you did to him at the party. he felt like he was floating, like he was suddenly sitting on a cloud and wasn't afraid of falling. god, he's wanted this for so long; for fucking ever. how could he stop now? you pull apart, and now youre thinking how in the world you felt out this long. ".... now the way I want you to." he continues, "not the way I do." you smile, leaning in again to kiss him. it was meant to be a quick peck, but instead it turned into you leaning your body into his and his hands on your arms, running up and down them, making you sink further into him and the seat in warmth.

Now, for a second time, you pull away. "Does that help answering how much I care?" he's smiling like a mad man at your words. "so I guess I didn't ruin our night?" he says, more to get his Brian working properly more than anything. "The opposite. I wanted to leave with you anyways." and now he's nearly jumping out of his seat to to do a little happy dance. he couldnt help it, though. especially when you were pulling him back in by his shirt balls dup in your fist and smashing your lips together.

when you pull apart though, instead of smiling in each others faces, the both of you shoot up. oh god... oh god! what did you just do? it wasn't suppose to go like this, he thinks as you rush to put your shoes on at the door. No words were exchanged between the two of you, though. except: "Hey... I--" "no no!" you say a little too loudly, "no, its fine. we don't ever need to speak of this again, sound good?" his lips form a line at your words. he shoots you a thumbs up. "...yeah." it wasn't what he wanted, that's of for user. but what other choice did he have? didn't look like you were ready for it to happen, so my default, now he wasn't either.

it wasn't like you two avoided each other at all costs in the week after the incident. no, not at all. you were friends above anything and everything, and such close friends that being like that to each other would've killed the both of you. and it wasnt like you were mad at each other... but now the silence on your walks together felt.... uncomfortable; unnatural and weird. like you needed to fill it with pointless talking to distract you from how there was this... air in the midst of you two-- like you knew what the other wanted, craved and needed but were too scared to do something about it.

that's why he knew he had to do something about it. so here he was, barging into the diner you worked past closing time. You quickly run to the door to unlock it for him. not like you were doing anything better anyways, watching the raindrops slide down one of the many windows as you wiped down each table. he was later than he usually was, but it looked like he was here for more than just to pick you up. the look in his eyes said it all. You turn around as soon as you pull the door open for him. "we're closed, Beom." the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily it was like you had forgotten the incident the week before, and how you promised yourself you'd back away even more than you had to keep it from happening again.

it wasn't like you didnt want it to. god was it the opposite. it was just... new, and scary. you knew that wasn't the best excuse but it was all you had. he was, in a way all you had. You didn't really know what moving along that road would mean. you knew it'd be good. but again, it was new and scary.

"I can't loose you." he pants behind you. for once he it was raining and for once he did run here. he spreads his arms wide, his long hair dripping on his shoulders. "And I can't-- I can't believe we let this come between us. and I don't want to let the wedge be driven any further." when you still don't respond, back still turned he gets more desperate, running a worried hand through his hair. "Come on, y/n! we're best friends!" you slam your towel down on the counter. "yeah, well maybe that's why this should've never fuckin happened." your words make the room go silent. you didn't yell it, you didnt exclaim it, you basically whispered it, but it boomed like a bomb going off none the less.

he was too important-- your relationship, whatever it may be, was too important to let go; you knew that. he knew that. he didnt say a word, realizing that he might say something to make the situation worse. he knew he was staying after hours, then again, it reminded him of how it would be between the two of you a week ago when you'd still talk the same. he'd come in, you'd make him the best hot chocolate he'd ever tasted next to his moms, and then he'd sit at the same bar stool and you'd talk for hours, barely making a move to actually go home. but eventually, after helping you with cleaning, he'd walk you home.

but for watts its worth, neither of you wanted to go back to those times, even after everything quite liking how the experience of the incident felt. You invite him to go to your place to talk it out some more. having the same idea, he agrees readily.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." you say, youve been talking for a little over a hour now, somehow slipping into how it was about a week ago along the way back to your place, and you don't think youve felt something so good-- so reliving, in a very long time. "I haven't been telling the whole truth either." no other words are uttered between the two of you, opting to lean ever so frustratingly and tantalizingly slow into each other,. his hand coming to rest on your thigh, folded underneath you at the knee on his sofa. you place your hand on top of his has your lips connect, a long awaited satisfied sigh is breathed into each others face, the air tickling you. youre rubbing circles on the back of his hand as his mind races. it was a kiss you poured all your feelings into. one where you spilled into it how you needed him with you so so so bad. how you wanted him beside you even more than he already was. how you were sorry it took you so long, and how you couldn't wait to keep being beside each other. you could feel him pour all that and more into his side of it and you reviled in the feeling, settling into it like it was second nature.

you blink a couple times when you pull apart, glad that you took your talk someplace else now. and well, I guess the both of you know now. youve now pulled out of the dark that beautiful little thing you two were hiding.

Now you both know just that one more, not so little thing you needed-- what was on each of your hearts the most.

~end~

Can’t believe never written a solely beomgyu fic before anyways as I’ve said if you liked it please comment and or reblog since tumble works on that system and liking it only bookmarks it for you :) I hope you enjoyed!!!

©️2023copyrightofshutupheathersorryheatherr do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works even if you give me credit

taglist: @itz-yerin

[bidonica]

Hey! I see you're into fragile/higgs ship and caught myself quite like them too recently (tho i've been in DS fandom already for a year and mostly thought about them as a friends)

Just wondering why do you like them? Do you have any headcanons/interesting thoughts? I'm very curious 👀

Hi! First of all apologies for the wall of text you're about to get, but unfortunately you came knocking at my door after I spent nearly two months ruminating about this ship basically by myself sooo I'm dumping it all here

Well the short (lol) version is that in my first playthrough I mostly just absorbed the characters and storyline, but by the time I got to their final scene on the Beach I was like wait a minute... their whole shared storyline feels way too loaded for them to simply have been business associates, that shit is personal, even Higgs wanting to damage Fragile feels way too pointed to just be justified by "he was a turncloak with a secret agenda." Now, I'm not against a "they were simply close friends" interpretation, it works just as well to explain the emotional weight of their falling out, BUT I also cannot ignore the zest, the flavor, the spice of them actually having been involved romantically at some point. And honestly going into my second playthrough with the shipping goggles on I can't help thinking that Fragile speaks about Higgs like he was an ex that hurt her, and the way that she is suspiciously cagey about the specifics of their relationship makes my ears shoot up like a German shepherd.

On a Doylist level I also find it interesting that Kojima gave Higgs extra backstory that connects him to Fragile in the Director's Cut, and also how the behind the scenes for the DS2 mocap show Troy and Léa sharing a scene... I think Kojima is not done intertwining their story and we'll get more info in the sequel.

Now for the headcanons... I have enough that I might or might not be writing a long-ish fic about it, but I want to finish this Director's Cut playthrough before completing it (I could just look stuff up on the wiki but that's not fun). Also I have some art in the pipeline about it that I hope to post within the week. Anyway, the bite sized version of how I envision their relationship:

I hc Higgs as being immediately attracted to Fragile but not really acting on it, while she develops her attraction after getting to know him a little. Then she's down bad but she doesn't even realize it until it's so obvious it hits her in the face

A few people at their joint Fragile Express/whatever Higgs' operation was called co-op assume they are an item long before anything ever happens, because they just hang out together a lot. They have a similar penchant for corny jokes and puns and enjoy some light banter; Fragile finds Higgs' flair for theatrics endearing, while he is drawn to how gentle she is because he has known so little softness in his life (also he thinks she's insanely pretty, which duh. It's self evident because Léa Seydoux) (it's his first serious girl crush anyway; I hc him as bi and as having had mostly experiences with men before her)

They bond over their DOOMS condition and Higgs is fascinated by Fragile's powers, while she is less enthused by all the collateral effects. In my hc, at this point she has yet to become as skilled at traveling through dimensions as she is in the game, which makes her reluctant to agree to Higgs' requests to show him the Beach. This sows the seeds of his resentment towards her, because he feels she has a privilege she doesn't make use of and doesn't want to share.

They are both pretty touchy feely (canon!) so when their relationship goes from friendly to romantic it gets physical immediately and enthusiastically. Yes even accounting for the worldwide lowered sex drive. If there's one thing I never do is put characters in horny jail 🫡

 I think Fragile got to know a version of Higgs that was quite different from what we see in the game, which you sort of can gauge from the more optimistic pages of his diary. Like there's a part of him who's starved for love and connection and a sense of belonging and gravitates towards people like Coffin (he never had a mother) and Fragile herself; ironically, the pull towards Amelie answers to the same need but in reality it feeds on his more nihilistic, call-of-the-void side. I'm not saying that Amelie brainwashed him or anything, but I think she saw what was already there – a  deep seated resentment towards a hostile world and towards those he feels got handed a luckier deal than he did, that he countered by clinging to the notion of being special because of his DOOMS, but then there's someone like Fragile who's even more special and doesn't seem to be doing much with it. Amelie gave him a chance to fulfill what he felt was his potential and shared her power with him, but the tradeoff was severing  the connections he had, "killing" the part of him that wanted to be loved to make space for what he perceived as a higher form of love ("I found someone who completes me" which he says to Fragile specifically like he wants to rub it in her face? Like she wasn’t  enough to fulfill that role?)

That’s why I think it’s significant that he lost his hands with his power-up, because the (holding, welcoming) hands are strongly associated with Fragile; and to me it makes sense if he purposely ruins her body also because it’s a way to stifle his attraction to her. There’s also a lot of projection because HE is the one who’s felt like damaged goods all along, who grew up being  crushed psychologically and physically. I also think that both of them coming close to annihilating the other but choosing not to – leaving them in a dicey situation but not entirely without escape – shows in some twisted way that their bond still exists, which makes me giggle and rub my hands like a nasty little goblin knowing we have another game coming.

So… That’s the gist of it. Sorry for rambling on but as I said, I don’t really get the chance to talk about this ship much – greetings from rarepair hell, etc.

[speakofthedebbie]

this one goes out to my platonic soulmate @starryeyeddreamer21 :3 (IDK HOW MY HCS ENDED UP SO SIMILAR TO YOURS I SWEAR IT JS HAPPENED-)

only the hazbin gang + luci and cherri cuz im biased

hazbin charas rated least to most likely to crash the car during the charlie-mandated bonding road trip

husk

dont wanna js repeat what i said here but i strongly believe he would be the least likely to crash. forget what people say about old people driving, id trust his old man back over literally anyone else any day of the week.

2. alastor

(whaat i was checking when cars were invented to see if he would even know how to drive one no siree-) on a serious note, while i just cant picture him driving, i feel like he would still know how out of principle. he'll def put on some jazz and throw you out the window if you try to change it.

3. luci

while starr (can i call you that?) brings up the good point of him not needing to cuz flying/teleportation/having drivers, you cant really live as long as he has without knowing a thing or two. his ass would def need pedal extenders tho LMAO-

4. vaggie

she also tech need to cuz wings/princess of hell girlfriend priviliges, i wouldnt put it past her. but once again, gonna need some pedal extenders-

5. sir pentious

while he doesnt have feet, im sure hed be more than able to make a lil something. i mean he piloted a zeppelin, im sure he can manage a car-

6. charlie

inspired partially by Igual (long winding chaggie fic that you should totally check out!), i feel charlie would be the type to just.. not know how to do basic things cuz of her sheltered upbringing (no hate to her parents, lord knows theres a lot of shit to shelter her from in hell lol) she would be waaay too overly cautious, to the point where it earns her more problems. i wouldnt exactly trust her behind the wheel, but if worst came to worst it probs wouldnt be that bad.

7. niffty

first of all, short. second of all, given her already erratic behaviour in the show, im not sure it would be wise to trust her in a vehicle. that is if they dont forget her loud house style LMAO-

8. angel/cherri

theyre both so bad they had to share a tier. likewise to starr, theyre def the daredevil types. to quote starr: "[Angel]'s always driving like he's running from the cops" and honestly, given his life history, he probs was LMAO- i love them, but i would not trust their asses behind the wheel if it killed me. just like them driving probably would-

seriously, go check out starr's version! i was focusing purely on the driving aspect, so theirs is more in dept

next up, picking random ass words and making hazbin headcanons out of them- (jkjk... unless?)

[bitwynn]

Not a fan

A SAGAU Impostor AU Songfic

Song used: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

...so I caved. Yep. Starting a new series even though i already have one. To be fair, i felt like i needed a break from that series since that beast needs a whole lotta world building and im planning for it to get into some heavy fucken subjects. This one tho is more chill and light-hearted, since theyre all just a bunch of kind of disconnected one shots that are all kind of connected. So like-- when this series gets a lil longer, you can literally start from any fic since its all connectedly disconnected. A better example was my original idea of me just writing the end goal where they finally defeat the impostor like-- directly after the Castaway fic to rlly show how connectedly disconnected it is but i refrained myself since i wanted to write more wanderer. Been playing as him a lot but i havent rlly done the archon quest yet lol but hes just a blast. Hes an annoying lil shit (affectionate)

Blue for Barbara, Yellow/Gold for Zhongli, Green for Wanderer, red for Diluc, Italics is Reader/General, Combined is Everyone. Colors only used for singing parts.

---

Is this the real life?

You were running again, the spears and arrows of the Millelith chasing you all across Liyue.

Is this just fantasy?

Zhongli was by your side, steadfast as a rock as he shielded you from their weapons-- both with his Jade Shields and his body.

Caught in a landslide,

A loose rock almost sent you tumbling down into the depths of the Chasm, Barbara grabbing you just in time.

No escape from reality.

Diluc recognizes the path you were taking towards Tiangong Gorge, immediately rushing off to the Chasm's Maw and letting loose Dawn-- his phoenix rising up into the sky like a blazing beacon, just buy the rest of you more time. He'll rejoin you once again, he knows the path you'd take. He's your main afterall.

Open your eyes,

The three of you make it, the relief from seeing the glow of the blue Waypoint almost bringing you to your knees.

Look up to the skies and see,

You stumble in, Barbara hauling your arm over her shoulder as Zhongli collapses the tunnel behind you. You may be Overseer of Teyvat but he is the Overseer of Liyue, and its stones still answers to his call. There is nothing left but the browns and greens that creep towards the borders of Liyue.

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,

Your little group exit the cavern, the fresh air of the rainforest cooling the sweat on your backs and you see Haypasia's "little neighbor" peeking up from behind a leaf.

Because I'm easy come, easy go,

The tiny Aranara, though a little hesitant that more people could see him now, takes your hand and guides you through Avidya Forest. Thank goodness you had caved from your siblings nagging and finally done at least a part of the Sumeru quest.

Little high, little low,

You were still unfamiliar with the lands of Sumeru, trusting your little lettuce friend to lead you to a place of safety, of rest.

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me,

Lettuce, as you had affectionately named him, lead you all deep into the rainforests of Sumeru all while deftly avoiding the little village of forest rangers and the rangers themselves. You hadn't said a word to him but you knew, deep in somewhere, that he would be leading you somewhere safe. Somewhere protected.

Though this... wasn't what you expected.

To me.

He turns to your group, the smell of tea faintly wafting from the pot he was tending. "I don't think I need to introduce myself, do I?"

-

After the short but silent panic that washed over the three of you (it took the you and Barbara 5 minutes to even get a centimeter pulling Vortex Vanquisher out the cave wall while Zhongli aggressively apologized to him), the four of you were sat on the floor watching the Wanderer tend to the bubbling pots of food he was making.

There was a strange... very not tense(?), and very awkward energy in the air as he set aside cups and bowls for all of you, his own cup still full with steaming almost black water. Zhongli was very noticeably trying not to stare at his oversteeped tea.

Little Lettuce had already left, presumably to keep an eye on the area or watch out for Diluc. You didn't want to use him as a shield or a way to break the ice or something but god-- the energy in the air was just so uncomfortable.

You all watched Wanderer in this terse silence prepare your food, his soft chopping of the grilled unagi sounding like death knells in your cave. He took each of the bowls he set out, placing a considerable amount of rice in each and a small handful of dried seaweed and sesame seeds. Bringing out a jar of umeboshi from his inventory, he placed each slab of unagi with a single umeboshi atop the bed of rice and seaweed.

He pours out the tea onto the rice, 1, 2, 3... and stops. He cocks his head. Frowns.

"Wasn't there supposed to be four of you?"

And the silence was broken.

"W-well, little lettuce already left--"

"Not the aranara-- wait, you named him lettuce? Tsk, whatever. Where's the other one? The red one?"

"Oh, uhm, Diluc?"

He nods, the small scowl on his face almost carved into him. You feel your face heat as you turn your face away from him.

"He ran off. To the Maw. Let out his burst as a diversion to buy us time --but he'll find us. He'll come back. He knows the way, he knows how I think, he knows what I'll do. He'll come back."

Wanderer sighs, disappearing the extra bowl. You're not sure whether you said all that to stop his retort or to diminish your own worry.

You're shaken from your thoughts by Barbara holding your hand. She gives it a squeeze, and you squeeze back, thankful for the comfort.

"Are you just gonna keep staring at your food or do you want to die of both exhaustion and starvation?"

"Okay, eating now!"

You're handed a warm bowl of Shimi Chazuke, Wanderer's specialty. It didn't look like its in game icon, only having the plump umeboshi on top of a bed of rice and seaweed with the pale tea glistening in the light. But you had come to learn that many things in game didn't translate directly, there sure as hell no quest or mention of a "Divine Overseer, and yet-- and yet.

You bring the bowl up to your face, the warmth soaking into your aching, tired hands and its steam gently caressing your face. You mix a portion of the rice together with the tea, scoop it up, and put it into your mouth.

And practically turn into jelly at the taste.

"Umai...!" you moan, savoring the taste of it all.

The fresh rice soaked in the bitter tea tasted amazing, each bite slowly turning into a different flavor as the oils and sauce from the grilled unagi gradually mixed in with the rice. Cutting up a bit of the eel with your spoon, you mix it with the rice and your mouth burst with deliciousness.

The eel was grilled to perfection, plump and juicy and flaky. And with the addition of the tea, it introduced flavors you hadn't even imagined from a simple grilled fish.

As you were about to burst that plump little plum, the Wanderer stopped you, a strange look on his face. He handed you a handkerchief.

"Wipe your face, the flavor's gonna be off if you mix it with your tears."

Stunned, you took the handkerchief. "Oh."

It... had been a long time since you've eaten good food and found a place to rest. Too long.

You hold it close to your chest, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to calm down. After a moment, you wipe away the sweat, and tears, and snot, and grime that had accumulated on your journey. It had been such a long time since you first found kindness in this world, even if that kindness came from an emotionally stunned automaton designed to be a god.

You chuckled to yourself, a wet little thing, as you realize that you kept weeping harder and harder with each swipe of the cloth. You bury your face in it, the handkerchief practically soaked with your tears as you take a few calming breaths to finally stop your tears.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I-- its been a while since I've... yeah. Uhm..."

You take a breath, still wet with your snot. "I, uh... I'm gonna keep this, I uh-- ruined it. I'll, I'll clean it though! If you want it back."

Wanderer, handily ignoring your breakdown just earlier, cringes in disgust. "No thanks. Keep it, you need it more than me if you decide to bawl your eyes out again."

Despite the harshness of it, you soften, tucking the offending handkerchief away. "Thanks." "Don't ever mention it."

He reclines back into his little designated space in your cave, and hesitantly stokes the fire with his anemo vision. You pick your unfinished bowl of chazuke, umeboshi still waiting to be eaten. It was good to know that at least there was a few things that didn't change now that you're here.

"Are you finished yet? Stop gawking at your food and finish it so I can do the dishes."

Yep, some things just never change.

You finally finish your meal with the silence in the cave now something much more comfortable, the crackling of the fire and the quiet rushing and clanking of dishes almost lulling you into a sense of "you don't have a bounty placed on your head and are definitely not running from anyone and everyone for fear of them betraying you and handing you over to your megalomaniacal doppelganger".

Wanderer, having lost the argument of who does the dishes against Barbara, was definitely not sulking in his little corner and absolutely not fiddling with his new(?) anemo vision. "So, why'd you come here to Sumeru anyways? I know you definitely were not looking for me, considering the fact you tried to impale my head on sight. Which to be fair," he chuckles at Zhongli's sheepish face, stood near the cavern entrance. "I would do the same."

You absentmindedly plucked the strings of your Windblume Lyre, the instrument becoming a sort of stimming/coping device, helping you deal with everything that had happened to you. He hummed to himself, the cogs turning in his head. "I can't think of any other reason why you'd come here-- finding and trusting in me is a huge gamble that you won," he clarified, turning away from Barbara's blank stare. "the ancient Khaenri'ahn technology scattered around Sumeru won't be of any use if you were considering taking the fight to your impostor, the Irminsul Tree could be a good reason but I can't see any way you'd use it to help you, though knowledge is always good to have anyways."

He scoffed, reclining into the dirt of your cave. "Archons, imagine how ridiculous it would be if you just ran here because you had no choice but to! Like a bunch of scared animals, ahaha!"

You slowly sink behind your lyre as he continues.

"In my time here, you're infamous for always evading their grasp-- heck, there's even an entire division of scholars here dedicated to just trying to figure out how in the world you do it. Some say you're a master at faking trails, some say you have some sort of... psychic power that lets you read the mind of your enemies so you can anticipate their moves."

He shrugs.

"Honestly, I'm more inclined to believe that last one-- in my brief time as your Vessel before your descent, you somehow managed to find information about me, despite my entire existence being wiped from the Irminsul Tree. Add to that the experiences that your other Vessels had, and it's a pretty compelling case." A sigh. "Shame that probing is one-sided though, a peek into the mind of the 'Divine Deceiver' or 'Overseer' or whatever fancy title you call yourself would be quite intriguing. Who knows what schemes are you cooking up in there. Now tell me,"

He straightens, eyes boring into yours from where you were, at this point, hiding in shame behind your lyre. "why are you here in Sumeru?"

"Aha... ha... haaa..." If you had a pyro vision, your face would be on fire by now. You had to turn away, the warmth of embarrassment creeping down your neck. "Well, uhm..." You clear your throat, gulping as you try to even find the words to explain how much of a legitimately normal person you are, who was practically forced to grow brain cells specifically for scheming because if you didn't you would die.

"So, uh...ah he he he... heh..." you take a breath, a shaky grin on your lips. "So, you know how reality is sometimes stranger than fiction?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"Well..."

You vaguely gesture, hoping that your flailing would get your message across.

He stares at you. He stares some more. He blinks.

"No."

"Yeah."

"No..."

"Yeah...

"NO."

"YEAH--"

His mouth drops in shock as he tries to process what you're implying. The rumors painted a... much prettier and mightier picture of you than the both of you thought.

"I-- you-- wha-- how-- what?!"

He takes a breath, chest rising despite his lack of a need for air. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and you get the feeling that he's restraining himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you stupid.

"So, you're telling me. That the 'Divine Deceiver' and their little posse made of a literal god, the once-captain of Mondstat's Knights of Favonius, and Mondstat's most renowned healer idol, have, quite literally, been running around like rats all over Teyvat and somehow, somehow staying alive by a thread?!"

"I KNOW MAN, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WE'RE STILL ALIVE--"

"Oh my--"

He begins to growl, a black orb of anemo energy collecting in his palm. You squeak as you try to scramble to your feet, his face full of rage.

And the whirling winds in your cavern suddenly stops, Wanderer dismissing the dark energy in his hand. "Oh, relax."

He blows a raspberry at you, as you groan and sit back down. You bring your lyre back out from where you unconsciously disappeared it and clutch it like a lifeline.

"God, I never knew your idle could be that scary."

"...Idle?"

Barbara waves off his question, a sheepish expression on her face as she fixes her curls back into place. "Its... complicated. You'll learn more about it as you travel with us." She hands him the used and cleaned bowls and utensils. "You... will travel with us, right?"

He scoffs, taking the bowls and disappearing them with a flash of light. "Of course I will. Its literally in my name. Besides, I have nothing that ties me down anymore so I might as well wander with you guys."

She smiles at him, ever sweet and ever kind. She settles back down near the fire, drying her soaking hands. Though Zhongli is still taking watch by the cavern entrance, you could see the slightest look of pleased approval in his face. "Though if you are going to be travelling and running from the law with me, we need to make a plan instead of scurrying around like rats."

And at that, the entire cavern groans in exhaustion. "Not now, please." "We'd like to have some rest first, Wanderer!" "Please, fuck, no-- I've had enough scheming for 3 thousand years--"

"Wait, so you did have a plan going into Sumeru?!"

You wave him off, hands going to rest back upon the strings of your trusty lyre. "Well, it was more of like... a guideline? A safety net? We had a couple ideas on what to do if we ever ended up in Sumeru and we, yknow, ended up in Sumeru so we'll probably do that."

You pluck a couple strings as you remember what you "planned". "I hadn't finished the Sumeru main quest yet and I hadn't unlocked all of the Statues of the Seven yet either. We were thinking of unlocking all the Statues first since, without them, my 'all-encompassing' game map is jack shit here in Sumeru, and then we were thinking of finishing the main quest to both progress the story and better the... political? climate here along with a few other benefits. After that..."

You make a face, much more aggressively playing at your lyre. "We really didn't want to split up the party but, I kinda wanna finish the main story quest in the Chasm but also we need to collect all the Dendroculous and Electroculous for more stamina and stuff. But also, I kinda wanna visit Dragonspine since..." You let yourself trail off, the makings and ideas of plans evident in your voice.

Wanderer merely stares at you for a moment, the game terms flying over his head as Barbara mouths at him, "I'll tell you about it later". You sigh, dreading the planning of tomorrow as your fingers calm on the strings. "But, we can plan tomorrow. Please. We almost died multiple times again." He sighs, relenting. "At least you have the skeleton of a plan."

"Yes!"

Humming, you sink into the soft ground, thanking the soils of Teyvat for giving you some comforts in this trying time. What little grass in the cave caresses you in gratitude, as you pluck at your instrument.

The Wanderer sighs, as he prepares a small pot of tea. "You've been messing with that thing all night and its about to grate at my ears. Do you even know how to play?"

You chuckle a bit, sheepish as you hand the lyre over to Barbara who plays a quick, jaunty tune with a flourish. "Well, I can sing...?"

He sighs again, bowing his head and resigned to the confirmation that you were much more... ridiculous than the gossip and rumors painted you as. "Then why are you the one with the lyre?"

You shrug as Barbara starts up another little song. "Gives me something to do with my hands. Helps me calm down. Diluc and Barbara have been teaching me though when we have the time."

Your soft smile at Barbara's song turns cheeky as you turn to him. "Wanna hear what they've taught me?"

"Sure, better than forcing this inane conversation."

You giggle maniacally as you smile at Barbara, the singer immediately catching your drift. "Follow me?" "To the ends of the earth."

You laugh, as she tunes the instrument to the right notes. "Not like that you sap!" "I know, I know! But yes, of course. His song right?"

You nod. "Yep."

"'My' song...?" Wanderer tilts his head in confusion, before realization dawns on his face.

"Hey, just because it has my-- ...that name, does not immediately mean its 'my song'."

The two of you handily ignore his slip up, you drinking some water in preparation for singing and Barbara testing the lyre if its in tune. "Oh, please," you say, sitting up. "you haven't even heard the full thing yet! It's definitely your song."

He sighs, leaning back against the cavern wall. "Very well then. Indulge me."

-

You start, reciting the beginning "poem" from memory. Barbara watches and waits, fingers hovering above the strings. Wanderer cocks his head, clearly interested. She begins playing as you get halfway, the lyre an excellent substitute for the piano. You continue, the Wanderer scoffing a little at the poem's mention of a poor boy needing no sympathy, but you pay it no mind. He hasn't heard the rest of the song yet.

"Mama,"

Barbara picks up on her playing, wringing the lyre out for all its worth for those deep chords and piano-like sounds.

"Just killed a man,"

You summoned the small drum you bought from a merchant in Inazuma in preparation.

"Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead,"

You close your eyes, swaying to the tune of the song.

"Mama, life had just begun,"

You didn't need to open your eyes to know that he's really listening now.

"But now I've gone and thrown it all away!"

You quickly tap on the drum, trying in vain to mimic the band's performance.

"Mama!, oooh,"

Zhongli was sat at the entrance with his legs crossed and humming along.

"Didn't mean to make you cry,"

Wanderer was still. You could almost hear the turning of the cogs in his mind.

"If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,"

The steady beat of the drum was a stark contrast to the deep, heavy feeling inside his chest.

"Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters."

His Vision pulsed, as his hand unconsciously came to caress it. Was this what it was like to have a heart?

Barbara's fingers were gentle on the strings as a set of footsteps approached the entrance of the cave. You could hear Little Lettuce's pitter-pattering and the dulcet tones of Zhongli and Diluc's voices as they catch up in the short time they've been separated.

"Too late, my time has come,"

He had closed his eyes, listening intently to the music as the waves of sound rocked him gently and deeply into his sea of memories.

"Sends shivers down my spine,"

He can see it now, those old fleeting moments of happiness before they were all ultimately destroyed.

"Body's aching all the time."

He could feel it, suddenly hyper aware of his joints and limbs. The feeling of phantom strings and hands pulling and pushing him like he was some puppet. (But it wasn't like he was ever anything else.)

"Goodbye, everybody. I've got to go,"

He could hear it, everyone's cries and wails of despair filling his ears as he sailed towards Inazuma City to beg the Shogunate (his mother) for mercy that they would not grant.

"Gotta leave you all behind to face the truth."

He could also hear the Doctor's cackling laughter as he began to weave his web of lies, webs that would replace the strings that she had put on him. That he had cut away.

"Mama!, oooh,"

He could see it, the light shining through the patches in the walls and the roof of that old hut. The kind and innocent smile on that sickly, young face.

"I don't wanna die,"

He could see it, red, red, red lapping up and eating away at the walls and roof of the house. Red, red, red all around them. As if he was asleep in a meadow of flowers. (or sinking into a pool of blood)

"I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.!"

You all gave him his moment, deep in his sea of memories. Diluc was wordlessly playing the zither, an imperfect substitute for an electric guitar. He'd noiselessly joined into your impromptu concert after he was caught up on the situation by Zhongli who had promptly disguised the mouth of the cavern as some kind of rock formation.

As he played, you thought back to the Wanderer's words. To the moment you first heard him say that-- his character teaser. Your heart had clenched back then, tears pricking the corners of your eyes but you couldn't help chuckling at his words-- that ever iconic song playing in your head. But you know that there was nothing to chuckle about here, Wanderer holding the brim of his hat in an almost vice-like grip. His jaw is clenched.

You all silently agreed to let the solo drag on at least a little bit longer. He takes a sharp breath. (You all know its his way of saying his thanks.)

Barbara begins plucking the lyre in a jaunty little tune, and you couldn't help but crack a grin. The atmosphere's heavy, but it's beginning to lift anyway.

"I see a little silhouetto of a man,"

The Wanderer scoffs, already knowing the next few lines by heart thanks to you. You all readily ignore the wetness in his sound.

"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?!"

You were surprised at everyone joining in. Wanderer especially, being caught so off-guard that he jumped in his seat. "For the nth time, no I won't!" Barbara giggles as you push onwards, a manic grin on your face.

"Thunderbolt and lightning!"

Diluc only smiles at the mildly disgruntled Wanderer, his Divine Overseer and Mondstadt's Deaconess having stood up to sing their hearts out. "I'm pretty sure that's not gonna be the last time you say that to them."

"Very, very frightening, me!"

The singing duo once again became lost in the music of the song, belting their hearts and lungs out for their one audience member. Said audience member could only crack a smile and reply, "I had a feeling."

"Galileo, Galileo,"

You had all but screeched out said scientist's name as you pointed to Zhongli. When faced with the Wanderer's incredulous look, he could only gain a fond look in his eyes, shrug and say, "You get used to it over time."

"Galileo, Galileo,"

"Wait, you're all used to this?!" Barbara's sheepish as she answers. "They sing as a coping mechanism. We kind of picked it up over time as well." Diluc shrugs again. "It's better than alcoholism."

"Galileo, Figaro! - Magnifico, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,"

Wanderer cringes-- despite this, a smile is growing on his face. "You don't have to vocalize the echoes, you imbecile!" You merely put a hand to your forehead, aiming to up the drama with your next lyrics.

"I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me,"

He feels the tug of old memories, of old traumas still clinging to his skin. But he pays them no mind, knowing he must march onwards to the future. A future paved by a ragtag group of wanted divine beings and important people that are beginning to worm his way into his chest.

"He's just a poor boy from a poor family,"

Oh no. He's feeling it again.

"Spare him his life from this monstrosity!"

He cannot help but watch you all sing.

Barbara's fingers fly on the strings.

"Easy come,"

He felt what he felt back then, before she had forsaken him.

"Easy go,"

He felt what he felt back then, before he was fooled into thinking he had left him-- left them.

"Will you let me go?"

He felt what he felt back then, before he was torn away from him with no bigger enemy to blame but his own mortality.

"Bismillah! No!"

It was affection. It was care.

"We will not let you go!

(Let him go!)"

Oh archons, he's starting to care.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!

(Let him go!)"

For hundreds of years, he's hardened his heart and closed himself off from everyone and everything. Sworn to scrub himself clean of human emotions.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!

(Let me go!)"

And yet, for those same hundreds of years, he had never fully closed himself off-- never fully scrubbed away the feeling of... feeling.

"Will not let you go! (Let me go!)"

He couldn't help but glance at those two, fingers flying across the strings of their instruments. Humans, can they really be trusted?

"Will not let you go! (Let me go!)

His eyes slowly drifted to the other two, one ancient and the other practically a newborn. Can the gods really make him feel anything other than loathing?

"Never let you go!

(Never, never, never let me go!)"

He takes in their entire performance, all of them being their pure, complete, and unadulterated selves. With no masks to keep on, or roles to maintain. Merely singing, and dancing, and playing these instruments just for the heck of it.

"Oh, oh, oh!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

For centuries, he has roamed this world-- seeing and meeting many new people, and yet never regarding any of them as his companions.

"Oh, mama mia, mama mia!"

Would he be able to regard these people as such?

"Mama mia, let me go!"

Would he be able to trust them, like the did with the others? To stay and not break their promises with him?

"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,"

Would he be able to hold on to them, and they not let go as they had been claiming over and over?

"For me!"

Well, he has no choice in the matter. He's stuck with them now, as wanted fugitives.

"For me!"

Only time will tell if they forsake him like those before him. At least he's safe in the comfort that the world had forsaken them as well. Just like him. He hopes that strange sort of kinship makes you understand. He hopes it makes you stay.

You whooped with joy as Barbara absolutely nailed that note, Diluc quickly shredding on the zither afterwards. You would've given it to Zhongli but-- the man hasn't played a guitar before. And you need a certain "je ne sais quoi" to really pull off what Queen was doing. ...Also, you needed the sound of a guitar for the song.

You glance back to the Wanderer, mostly silently listening this whole time. He was lightly bopping his hand to the beat. You smile, taking whatever victories you can get. "Beelzebub? Really?" You blow a raspberry at him, preparing for the next part of the song. "I'll tell you about it later!" You clear your throat.

"So, you think you can stone me and spit in my eye!"

Diluc hits that sick riff.

"So, you think you can love me and leave me to die?!"

Barbara, even if she's practically undetectable underneath Diluc's strumming and your-- excuse me, Zhongli's drum beating, is still managing to bring up and compliment every single one of you performing.

"Oh, baby!"

You swear, if you all weren't wanted fugitives forced to live on the LAM because of a crime you didn't commit, you'd be a killer band.

"Can't do this to me baby!"

You do gotta thank Zhongli for subtly swiping away the drums from you-- you frankly weren't quite sure how you'd be able to focus on giving this song the power ballad it deservers while also playing an instrument.

"Just gotta get out,"

Despite all your peeking on Wanderer for his opinions on the song and to check on his emotional state, you weren't exactly omniscient. You were, afterall, still performing and still getting lost in the music.

"Just gotta get right outta here!"

So you didn't notice the twinge of an... almost fond emotion lacing his face as he watches you rock out to this classic. What can you say, Diluc kills it on the zither.

The sound builds and builds, Barbara layering on top of it and you not being able to resist the urge to air guitar to it as it slowly reaches its crescendo... And crashes back down, Zhongli and Diluc humming along to the sound.

"Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah,"

You gasp for breath, the end of the song finally coming up. Diluc's energetic playing slows down, signaling the finale.

"Nothing really matters,"

You feel sweat dripping down your skin, having danced and moved around-- possessed by the power of the song.

"Anyone can see,"

You lean your back against the cave wall, relishing in its coolness as you bring the song to a close.

"Nothing really matters... Nothing really matters, to me..."

You sigh as you sink, pleased and satisfied at everyone's performance.

"Any way the wind blows..."

Zhongli finishes it off with the rapping of the drum, mimicking a cymbal crash to his best ability. Barbara beams at the Wanderer, who looks like he's regretting singing along to that last part.

"So," you ask, out of breath. "what'cha think about the song?"

Wanderer waves off Barbara's tired but happy smile, poofing the fourth bowl back into existence and busying his hands. He prepares Diluc's Shimi Chazuke as he hums.

"Well, despite it being a complete emotional roller coaster and the utter gibberish that it contains, I suppose that its worthy being called 'my song', as you will."

"I'll fucking take it! Fives all around guys, good job!" You quickly double high five everyone in the group-- Zhongli letting you slam your hands down on his, Barbara being a quick pair of one-two taps, and Diluc just lightly bumping his full hands into yours. You turn to Wanderer, waiting for him to high five you. "You too, hat boy-- you joined in the song, you get some fives."

At least Diluc had the decency to look away when he huffed in amusement. "Hat boy?! Let me tell you, I've gone through many names and titles during my journey. And each one is more eminent than any ordinary mortal could ever imagine!"

As he said these words, his heart slowly sank to his feet as he saw the stupid, cheeky smile growing on your face. "Yes, yes... But! and I quote, 'they're all just water under the bridge to me now.

Call me whatever you like. Go ahead, let me see what you can come up with.'" The Wanderer's eye twitched.

"And that's the best you can come up with?! If you know me so well, oh, great Overseer, then you would very much know that I'm also telling you to not disappoint me! Tell me, All-Knowing Guide, am I not disappointed?!" You snorted, too tired from the day's events to feel any sort of proper fear and trepidation at this situation. "Then, I'll just keep thinking of names until something sticks, mushroom head." You pat his head. "Now, how in the world did you even get here Lulu?"

He sips from his bowl full of rice and tea. "Doro44 Sumeru Chasm sneakpeek. Would've gotten here faster if the place wasn't absolutely surrounded by treasure hoarders and Fatui. Had a bit of trouble finding it as well, since it was behind some rock walls." He grabs a small twig from the ground and starts drawing. "Its a sort of cave that's absolutely overgrown by giant roots." "You dare to ignore me?!"

You flash that same cheeky grin at him again. "We didn't ignore you, we just changed the subject!"

Nope, he takes it all back. He hates all of you.

---

AND THATS A FUCKING WRAP AUGHHHHHHHHH-- broooooo, you would not BELIEVE how hard this was to write. both because Bohemian Rhapsody is SUCH a long song but also because of SOOOO many outside circumstances. like BRUH i was supposed to release this like a day after my castaways fic but NOOOOOOOO-- life got so in the way man. my parents started breathing down my neck for chores, we had to visit my relatives in the province (still in the province btw lol), i got FUCKING SICK BECAUSE OF STRESS AND DUST ALLERGIES and i literally spent like-- my first few days sick making my sickness FUCKING WORSE since our house was literally covered in dust and i was the only one who could clean it fucking apparently. bro, i even spent this goddamn christmas fucking sick. ugh this has been such a hell week. literally the only comfort i found this week was all genshin related AHAHA-- i was playing genshin, visiting the SAGAU tag a lot, waiting for fanfics to update, just generally genshin brainrotting.

ugh thank god i finally released this one. i do have a lot of ideas for this down the road and hell dawg! i even got a request! thats the one thatll be coming up next. i wrote like-- a massive part of this sick and it got sOOOOO out of hand ever since i didnt get to finish it that day so i hope it sticks together well and is mostly coherent. enjoy!! :))

[aprillikesthings]

oh god oh god

HEY GUESS WHAT I'm down to the last two episodes of She-Ra in my rewatch

On a related note, should you desire to read them all starting from s1ep1 for some godforsaken reason, here's the link. Please be amused at my claims that I would not do this for every episode and my repeated attempts to cut back on how much I copy/paste dialogue and/or explain the entire plot instead of just making jokes and commentary

If, somehow, you are New Here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, ostensibly for fic-writing reasons as I had forgotten huge quantities of the plot. I have since become deeply obsessed, as one does.

I make a lot of adult jokes, random asides, references to other things, commentary, and a lot of cursing and crying. I love Catradora and I love Catra especially and have a tendency to add a screenshot every time they so much as look at each other. It seems silly to warn for spoilers at this point, but yeah, this is a RE-watch. It's just that I forgot a lot of it because I watched it the first time as it was coming out (pun intended). The shit I did remember is so fucking random tho lol

The last time I tried to do a two-parter in one post the number of times I had to reblog it because tumblr only allows 30 images per post got real stupid, so while I do still assume I will have to reblog multiple times per episode, I'm doing each episode separately.

HERE WE GOOOOO

s5 ep12 Heart (pt 1)

jfc i'm full of adrenaline lol

Also I have a beer, it's a citrus IPA because I live in Portland and it's required by law

(not really I just genuinely like them. that and IPA's that taste like gnawing on a douglas fir. also fruit sours.)

LOL I was so anxious I looked away from this post and consumed most of my beer this is gonna be hilarious

ALSO my goal is to finish these two episodes before the Easter Vigil service tomorrow night at 8pm

Theoretically I should be able to watch two episodes of TV in a day and a half, right? AHAHA

Bow should play Wonderwall

she always looks so soft with her hair down

but also having that thing just floating in front of your chest like that has gotta feel weird

ON A RELATED NOTE I know I made the joke in the last episode about how many people have the failsafe as a tattoo but the PROBLEM is that now I literally LIVE with a tattoo artist whose work I like--I already have two tattoos they've done, here and here, and the temptation is extremely high?? but I don't have any other obvious fandom-related tattoos (unless you count the title of a Björk song) so it feels weird to start with this one???? Like I don't have any LoTR or BBC Sherlock or SU or K/DA tattoos (to list off a bunch of fandoms I was devastatingly obsessed with at the time) so getting one for THIS fandom feels kinda weird. But like, also, if I got it kinda small on one wrist it would look kinda cool and be a nice loud DID U KNOW I'M GAY kinda thing. Gyahhh.

She's struggling to do She-Ra, and I'm sitting here YELLING because IT'S BECAUSE CATRA LEFT and UGH I want to murder Shadow Weaver

(eyyyy I won't have to, ha ha oh god)

Oh she manages to transform anyway. Without making any noise or glowing lights, just pop, She-Ra

awwww but also lol

related aside but like, every culture that figured out bows and arrows invented at least one kind of string instrument. Literally archers just fidgeting with their bows and going "oh this makes a nice sound, what if I put more strings on this thing." So many different places and cultures invented things like a guitar or like a harp or like a violin. But also I want to know who the FUCK figured out the hurdy-gurdy??? oh my god I just looked up the hurdy-gurdy and I'm cracking up because one of the earliest depictions of it is from the 1100's, in the Santiago de Compostela cathedral. A place I have been. Because I did the Camino last year.

oh right plot

I would like to take a moment and be grateful for the people who put together the transcripts on the fandom wiki for saving me typing up long bits of lore-heavy dialogue

She-Ra: "Prime is getting closer every day to figuring out how to access the Heart of Etheria. If he succeeds, he can use it to destroy worlds, galaxies, maybe even the entire universe. The Failsafe is our only chance at stopping him."

"His hold over them grows stronger every day they're chipped. If we don't free them now, we might lose them forever. Prime holds every advantage in this fight. He'll be ready for us. But we have a plan. Entrapta?" Entrapta: "I finally succeeded in cracking Prime's signal pattern. If I get access to his Spire network, I can use it to broadcast a jamming frequency that will disable all of the chips on Etheria, freeing everyone at once!" She-Ra: I need you all to get Entrapta to the Spire and keep Prime's forces distracted while she jams the signal."

"We're going to make sure that Prime can never hurt anyone ever again. We're ending this today. For good."

oh lord so Shadow Weaver is still there, sulking and looking away, and she looks over at her and starts almost losing She-Ra and being Adora again

have I mentioned how much I hate Shadow Weaver >:(

Adora goes outside...and looks around. I know who she's looking for. *sobs into a pillow*

NO. she's LOOKING for her GIRLFRIEND

I made that joke and then Glimmer literally says "Any sign of Catra?" I have to remember that at this point in the story literally everyone knows how in love they both are. Except them. Of course.

Adora: "She's not coming back." ;_;

Adora: I mean you don't have to come with me this could be dangerous Bow: the fuck are you talking about of course we're going

And she turns into She-Ra again, roll intro

Okay so they go to the Crystal Castle thing where Light Hope was

it doesn't look so good

but also that's creepy

anyway they tell the hologram (not Light Hope, the other one) that they're looking for the Heart of Etheria and that they're Friends of Mara. She-Ra gets scanned and then a door opens into a passageway. Bow and Glimmer take her hands and they walk into the hall but:

she's still looking for someone

I have to deal with another episode and change of her looking for Catra ghghggh this hurts meeeee

OH SO OF COURSE they literally switch to showing us Catra

bahaha okay so she sits up and looks behind her kind of sadly, and Melog just skids to a stop so hard they throw Catra off

And Melog looks at Catra like she's fucking nuts. Catra's like, wtf is wrong with you??? and Melog looks back like BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Catra what did you think was going to happen when you got a therapy animal that can literally read your moods. Melog knows you're being a dumbass and has NO reason to pretend to believe your surface "I don't give a shit" act!!

Melog does airplane ears at that. And then just pounces Catra.

Time for pressure! Just like a real therapy animal. Big weighted blanket!

oh shit I forgot about this bit

Catra just immediately starts crying.

Catra: "You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay? Not me!"

*sobs into hands* you useless fucking dumbass that is your abysmally low self-esteem talking literally every living semi-sentient thing in the galaxy knows Adora's in love with you EXCEPT YOU

I can get frustrated with AU fics where these two both pull this "but what if she doesn't like me back" thing for ages while everyone around them is face-palming in frustration, but like. You have to admit. It's accurate to canon.

(It's also accurate to lesbians in general, lbh. Either fucking on the first date or doing the "but what if she's not into me" thing for months-to-years. Sometimes both, including in some of the fics I've written, heyooooo.)

Melog purrs and licks her face. A clone approaches and they both go invisible and then follow it.

MEANWHILE

the rest of the rebellion is attacking Horde Prime's ship thing

Wrong Hordak helps Entrapta get into the spire. The whole point of this fight (which I didn't bother screenshotting lol) is to give Entrapta time to disconnect everyone's chips from Horde Prime.

Lol once inside Entrapta does another one of those "holy shit this stuff looks so cool...OMG FOCUS" things

Back at the Crystal Castle Glimmers like "omg are you scared" and She-Ra says "No, I just hope this works." Liar.

Bow: "It'll be okay. And when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

this poor girl. she's so heartbroken.

(meanwhile the plot of my fic-in-progress is literally them breaking up. (not forever.) but it's hilarious of me to get SO UPSET over this scene when I'm going to force them to repeat it. like it's a mutual decision in my fic but it doesn't make it hurt any less.)

PFFT I unpaused it, and IMMEDIATELY:

I just said OH SHIT out loud lol

oh god I saw someone talking about this in a youtube video right around when I started my rewatch

It's a hologram, she's not actually there. And Catra goes through multiple other ages, including her kid self, being chipped on Horde Prime's ship, when they were Horde cadets, etc; before going back to looking like she does now.

Adora's sharp little gasp of shock here

Adora goes to touch Catra's hand and the hologram disappears

(good lord she's beautiful here)

And I think I agree with the youtube video: Adora knew she was upset about Catra running off, but this is the moment she specifically realizes she's in love, and it breaks her heart into tiny pieces.

(Hah, I actually say a very similar thing in part of my fic that they mention in the video--that previous to this, she refused to let herself want this or even think about it. "I didn't even realize this was something I could want.")

BUT ALSO so like is this a remnant of Light Hope's programming that tortured them with childhood flashbacks in season one (in order to drive them apart) or what

LOL NO

I know I made this joke before but I'm suing Nate for emotional damages

She-Ra: "We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories."

oof

A still-invisible Catra follows the clone to where Horde Prime's ship is and is visibly terrified and shaking. A clone who might be Hordak turns around with that white in his eyes that means Prime is using him to see, and Catra just tries to be quiet and not move but she's obviously triggered, and I mean that in the literal PTSD sense.

Horde Prime (via Hordak?): "My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way."

oh okay so Horde Prime's actual ship is still in space (just orbiting Etheria I assume) and the planet-side thing is him speaking through one of the clones via the hive mind.

"Begin the acquisition process!"

are they just gonna straight-up drill into it?

apparently yes

the whole area lights up with that sickening green light, including all the lines that characters kept noticing on the ground that looked like some combo of circuit boards and First Ones' writing.

meanwhile, Adora keeps slipping out of being She-Ra for split seconds and is clearly stressing The Fuck Out and possibly walking in the wrong direction in her distress, only to walk into another memory/hologram.

And I've predictably hit the image limit, but 13:30 to go which is better than last night pfft okay gonna reblog

[batbirdies]

Hi! Love your stories but I was wondering what is your writing process? I want to start writing Batfam but it's so intimidating with making creators like you, I just feel like I'll never measure up! What do you do for inspo? Do you plan out every chapter? How long does it take you to write? Do you already know how the stories will end?? Sorry if this is to invasive!

Aw thank you so much that’s very flattering!!

I would try not worry about “measuring up” to anyone as much as that’s easier said than done 😅. Just remember there will always be readers who like your work even if you think it could be better.

As far as your questions no worries! I’m happy to answer questions like this :)

I get inspo from lots of things! Mainly reading really good fic inspires me to write. As far as ideas they come from everywhere! Sparked by other fic often where I think “this is a cool idea but what if this part was different?”

Or sometimes by reading fic I didn’t love lol because I like the idea but want to execute it in a way I prefer.

Otherwise I think discussing ideas and head canons with others is one of the best ways to flesh out and get new ideas. Discord is the way to go. (As far as finding discord servers to join, this can be hard, but if you ask around there are usually some open to inviting new people)

Do I plan out every chapter? I’m inclined to say yes. Usually I write a first draft of the entire fic, then I start a rewrite and post each chapter as I finish the second draft of it. This usually leads to big changes and deviations from the original draft as I go, so I don’t always stick to the plan and often have to go back to the drawing board but yes, I do have a plan.

For me trying to write a publishable draft without a rough draft feels like trying to draw perfect line art without a sketch. It’s just doesn’t work for me.

How long does it take me to write? Honestly impossible to answer 😂 it varies drastically. I wrote CCAKT in about year including first and second draft, the second draft reaching 250k words. I also wrote Live While Breathe and I’ll Come Out Right on the Other Side that same year. Which amounts to roughly 340k words of second draft in one year. The 23k of LWIB was done in about 3 days. So I wrote a LOT that year and fast.

This has since not been the case lol. Took me about a year and half to finish the 31k of overcoming our antecedents. Then theres Penny drops.

I’ve been working on it for like 2 and a half years at this point and I’ve been incredibly slow trying to get the next few chapters out because I keep being unhappy with them. And also because I’ve had some health issues and it’s been hard to have the energy to work on it. I have taken significantly long breaks from writing all together at different times because of fatigue and burnout. But I try to stick with things and eventually finish long projects.

Do I already know how a story will end? Again, yes and no lol. I always have a plan of how it will end from the beginning, but with long fics i inevitably hate my original plan by the time i get there and have to totally rework what i previously had in mind. (This is really the reason i do a first and second draft, my rewrite is always SO much better in my mind than my original ideas)

Short fics are less that way and I usually stick with the plan.

Having said all of that I definitely want to emphasize that everyone is going to have a different process that works for them! Best thing to do is try different methods. I know I’m rare for fully drafting stuff and rewriting it so that might not work for you, but I know @cdelphiki does the same thing. She’s the only other fic writer I know that does it tho lol.

@coyote-nebula plots more with timelines and lists and then writes her scenes out of order but in perfectly publishable prose from the beginning, then does heavy editing run throughs and keeps notes on points to remember when she’s continuing long fics. (I am not nearly so organized)

And of course there’s many other methods! Best thing to do is jump in and try some stuff!

[fianightshade]

Hey there!

I'm about to start a re-read through of Desideratum. The whole palismin are dragons thing is fantastic and I'm loving seeing it play out! Ashmarrow and the Barn feel so cozy despite Hunter being wound up tighter than a spring. I do have 2 questions and a theory (head cannon) tho!

Do you see the empire only using the skin and odd claw/bone (I can't remember the material of the dagger offhand) practically or more symbolically. Like a scout captain having dragon bone accents?

And 2nd is the lung (lung? Lunge?) pedant from chap 14 meant to be a reference Stringbean?

I know it's a Hunter-centric fic and we might not see her. But I was just struck by the idea that she could a size-changing shape shifter and wanted to share it with you!

Anyways, Love your works (I ran through What A Big Heart cause I couldn't stop),

Take care!

Dragon parts are a very useful resource for the Empire. Hunter's knife is indeed made from dragon bone, and though it's a difficult material to work with, once shaped it's sturdy enough that it'll stay sharp for decades. His underarmor is likewise made from dragon skin, because it's strong and light and fireproof. I haven't thought about the parts being used symbolically, but I don't see why they couldn't be! War horns made from, well, dragon horns. Medals and momentos carved from the scales/teeth/etc of the dragons one has hunted. Capes of fur or glittering scales sold to the wealthy, used as a measure of status. So I guess the answer to your question is they're probably used both practically AND symbolically!

Parts are also used in the Darkwoods, too, but more ethically resourced. (Shed scales/fur, claw trimmings, baby fangs—things that come off naturally.) Dragon spit (as seen in Ch 20) is great for firestarter, dung burns hot and for an extended period, some water dragons lose their teeth over time like sharks that are fashioned into cutlery/spearheads/axes/whatever. Or, if a dragon is discovered already deceased, it isn't unheard of for the corpse to be stripped for use. (Usually accompanied by a ceremony or the like, however, as a way to thank them for their sacrifice.) The dragons don't really care—they have a different way of connecting to the world than witches do. Therefore, Hunter owning a dragonbone knife isn't really unusual to the rest of the populace, Darkwoods or Empire, but most people who might see his leather armor would likely assume it's made from a different animal, since regular animal hide is pretty similar in appearance. (At least until someone tries to stab him, anyway.)

And as for the pendant, the lung dragon is indeed a nod toward Stringbean. A little Easter egg to let people know I haven't forgotten about her. (I won't go into further details, though, because that'd be spoilers. But rest assured, I definitely haven't forgotten about her! >:3)

Welp, now you've got my gears turning lol. I'll be honest, a lot of what I'm writing is straight from the seat of my pants and I'm no expert on worldbuilding, but I'm always up for headcanons, theories, and questions! Thanks for sharing your ideas!

[kristailine]

On Jun Kazama's personality

I have an on and off recurring tekken / kazujun phase ever since I shipped them when I was 7 years old lol. Whenever this phase occurs, I have the sudden urge to read and re-read all the kazujun fanfics and consume some canon content crumbs.

Besides this, a part of me still finds it difficult to conceptualize Jun's personality that is independent from all her ties with the supernatural and her relationship with Kazuya and Jin. The lack of information on the source material itself really allows for people to interpret her in different ways, mostly by making sense out of implicative instances and subtleties that's written in canon. I noticed the differences in interpretations mostly on fanfics.

Like I have read a ton of kazujun fanfics (fanfiction dot net, ao3, heck even tumblr and some on that dead tekken dojo website that was shut down a few years ago. You name it all) and almost all of them have in some way a very unique characterization of Jun.

Some older works stick with the orthodox, depicting her as like the purest and most tranquil person to have ever graced the Earth who also possesses little to no flaws. She's also often written as innocent and naive but has a strong willpower. I believe this kind of personality of hers was brought about thanks to the Tekken Motion Picture anime wherein Jun is very persistent about freeing Kazuya from his hatred and all that.

Other works that were made in the mid 2000s until early 2010s give her a little more dimension by making her a bit more playful and adventurous. Just like what a 22 year old woman would be (now I can somehow relate to this because I finally reached that early 20s age too and all I wanna do is explore and have fun in life).

It's not such an out of character kind of characterization to Jun when she's always been depicted as someone who's pure and tranquil. In fact, I do find this an interesting layer on her personality. Like imagine living in a remote island in Japan, learning martial arts, then probably relocating to the capital to study college (??) and get a job and become a wildlife officer then to join a freaking fighting tournament and become attracted to a man who's literally got the devil inside of him. Like if that does not scream adventurous to you then better read all that again. Miss girlie lived many lives lol. So I believe Jun being adventurous is not at all that oc, and it also adds to her fearless persona as it can be seen that she can manage change and foreign situations well (which also makes more sense how she even managed to bear with Kazuya)

Moving onto the more contemporary projections of Jun's personality as what I have observed in the mid 2010s to present fanfics. There's a theme in making her much more mature, kind of like someone who is very attuned to the ways of life. But despite that, they also show more of her humane side and her flaws (kind of like the opposite of how she's written in older fic works).

Now, I think this huge shift in how she's interpreted is because of the Tekken 6 monologue wherein Kazuya talks briefly about Jun. Then we also have Jun in TTT2. Lastly, I think Tekken Bloodline also played a role in solidifying this mature Jun personality (but to be fair tho, Jun's already a mother who's been raising her 15 year old son as a single parent on that show. I guess it's just appropriate that she becomes mature).

Anyway, I'm on this talk because all the interpreted Jun personality varies a lot and kind of clashes with one another. I only ever just realized how much I know nothing about Jun when I tried writing kazujun fanfics and realized how Jun's internal monologue keeps on having tone changes as if she isn't one person. Kinda felt like my interpretation of her is influenced by all the aforementioned personalities that I have observed in fanfics, but they all kinda clash so I need to straighten this out and try to flesh her out more so I can continue writing my drafts.

However, I do find it interesting that although the fandom really isn't given that much information about Jun, it's still very entertaining to see how different people would write and play her out in fanfics.

Tekken 8 better deliver a backstory about Jun hopefully, and also some good storytelling as well. Supporters of the franchise are long overdue with quality storytelling that provides answers to the many mysteries that surround Tekken. Most especially Jun because of her disappearance.

[timeofjuly]

(not so sure if this counts as a story spoiler ask so you can pick any of my questions or ignore until the time comes.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

in what order would the characters fall in love for mc?(e.g. 1.quinn 2.red ect.[or if mc falls for them first?])we already know the flashbacks of quinn and MC but not when they confessed/caught feelings, who did what first in what place and environment? these questions also involves the skeletons too if you don't mind us having a peek at future events. XP

although i am not the most observant of readers, your work is so interesting to read that I would put it on a petri dish to understand it more thoroughly if I can hahah, maybe even a piece of your brain too./hj

Thank you so much!!! My brain is pretty smooth most of the time so I'm not sure how much you'd get out of it, but I'm very flattered!! If there's anything in the fic you (or anyone else) wants clarification or my in-depth thoughts on, I'm always very very happy to give my commentary :)

I won't answer in terms of order, because it'd be a little spoilery (and my planning is not that detailed lol) BUT, if you'd like, I can tell you what traits MC/the skeletons have that'll make things work? I put A LOT of thought into it when writing MC's personality because I wanted her to be a good fit for all of them plus Quinn whilst still maintaining an actual coherent personality, which was a challenge lemme tell you! If you want to see that, let me know and I'll pop it into a separate post because it'll be LONG.

But I will say that one big, overarching thing that'll make all this work is that MC reads as really genuine. Her intent matches her actions. I actually go into this in the next chapter in relation to Quinn, but it applies to MC too. I think this would be a super important part of attraction for monsters.

Anyway! Onto the Quinn and MC backstory. I'm happy to answer this because it's not really a spoiler and I don't (yet) have plans to actually write it (it may come up at some point tho). I will put it under the cut, though, if anyone would rather learn this as I drip feed it into the story you won't be spoiled.

MC fell for Quinn first, or at least was able to identify her feelings as romantic, much earlier. They become friends at 15 and it takes MC like, a week, to realise that she's attracted to Quinn physically and then another one to work out that she's interested romantically too. MC is into a lot of people, so this isn't particularly groundbreaking or intense at first, but when her feelings start to grow beyond casual attraction, things get more serious.

Teenage Quinn was hella repressed (in soft, as it began, she's having some serious Gay Panic but doesn't have the emotional framework to describe it) and also didn't have a bunch of friends, so didn't actually understand that her feelings for MC were romantic. She just Really Likes this girl and has funny feelings around her, so what? They're just besties. Besides, MC could have anyone she wanted and if she was into Quinn, surely she would've said something, right? Right?!?

Meanwhile, MC thinks that Quinn wouldn't be interested and that she has wayyyy too much to deal with already without adding her best friend having a crush on her on top of it all (this is the beginning of MC acting in what she thinks are Quinn's best interests and trying to spare her feelings), so she doesn't say anything. She thinks can read Quinn pretty well at this point, surely she'd be able to tell if Quinn was into her because she'd start acting differently, right? Right?!?

This all comes to a head in MC's bedroom when they're both 16, so a year into the friendship. It is not very romantic - they're passing a bottle of chambord stolen from MC's parents between them and simultaneously feeling very drunk from the alcohol and very sick from all of the sugar, they've just finished trying to scrub said liqueur from the carpet because Quinn accidently knocked it over and now there's a stain in the pile, it's a school night, the second Twilight movie is playing on MC's TV and Bella is October, November, December-ing, and MC just looks at Quinn, in ratty pajamas and hair greasy, lips stained purple and eyebags dark under the harsh yellow glow of the ceiling light and just... blurts it all out.

Quinn doesn't get to respond until the next morning, though, because MC follows the confession up by vomiting all over the carpet and the caretaking and clean-up that follows takes at least half an hour, and then MC falls asleep.

[this-is-lightning]

Supercorp FicRec P. 28

The next part in my ongoing ficrec series. I go through my bookmarks on AO3 and select the ones I like the best and add a little commentary on why. 5 fics per part. (under the cut)

Masterpost

give me mercy no more by searidings

kara and lena would go, have been, to hell and back for one another. but heaven? that's a whole different ball game.

w: 23,195

r: general audiences

S6 black mercy AU. Lex is there and plotting, they foil the plan of course and finally their feelings come to light. Short, intense, happy ending! Looots of feelings.

We Deserve Only Good Things by ThornedRose44

“Are you Lena?” The girl jolted in her spot on the sofa, hugging the bear closer to her chest. “Yes.” Even though Kara had known it from the second she had laid eyes on the child, the confirmation still managed to take her by surprise. “Who are you?” Lena asked, trying to sound as confident as she could. “Oh, my name’s Kara.” Kara replied warmly, taking a step forward, eager to move closer to offer reassurance before halting the second she saw the younger version of her once best friend flinch. “It’s okay,” Kara quickly soothed, “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” Lena peered over the top of her bear’s fuzzy head, “Promise?” Kara knelt down and smiled brightly, “Promise.”

or

Following Lex’s defeat, Kara and Lena are struggling to rebuild their friendship and let go of the hurt caused on both sides when Kara and Lena work together to help an alien return home. To show their gratitude for being saved the alien provides the two of them a chance to close the rift still between them. How? By getting them to meet each other's younger selves.

w: 28,678

r: mature

S6. Reconciliation is hard but they get help. Hits you right in the feels - and hard. SO well done, truly its a gem. Meeting little Kara and Lena was a real treat, wish we'd had more of that in the show. She writes them both so well and just knows how to cut them to the core. Brilliant!

something so precious about this (oh what a sin) by Just_As_Sane

Small folded pieces of paper begin to gather in her wallet. There’s swans, cute puppy faces with tiny noses drawn on them, various sized stars and there’s fish, frogs even a dinosaur.

But mostly there’s hearts.

She tries not to read too much into it.

or

Kara makes little origami creations and gives them to Lena, and Lena being the complete and utter sap that she is, loves them with all her heart.

w: 4,399

r: mature

I adore this one. Its so soft and sweet and comforting. All fluff, no angst. Definitely one of my go-to comfort fics. (and i am absolutely like this Lena when im in love lol)

What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it? by ThornedRose44

If Lena didn’t know any better she would say she was being haunted. By an actual ghost. But Lena knew better. She had one of the highest IQ’s in the country. So Lena knew better.

THE JUST LIKE HEAVEN AU

w: 83,635

r: teen and up

This ones a lot funnier than it might sound. It gets a bit sad and sappy later, but that makes the story even better. Very happy ending (Kara is not actually dead). Also if you haven't already do check out all her fics. (tho i probably recd them all by now)

i love that i know you (like no one does) by robie

“Help me understand,” Kara says. “Are you saying everyone falls in love with their best friend?”

“I’m saying that queer women have a special affinity for it,” Lena repeats, fishing the cherry out of the bottom of her drink. “The whole ‘falling for your straight best friend’ is basically a rite of passage.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone.” She puts the cherry in her mouth, bites it off the stem. “The L Word was like, built on the premise that a friend group of queer woman in LA dated each other in some sort of terrible repeating circle for, god, however many seasons that went on. And it’s been my experience that when two people are attracted to each other, and they’re close, feelings are likely to develop.”

“That’s just, I mean, come on.” Kara’s cheeks are a little pink. “A trope and a tv show? That’s your evidence?”

“So you’ve never been in love with your best friend?” Lena looks down at her empty glass.

“No!” Kara sounds affronted. “No, I have never been in love with my best friend.”

or

A love story, told in three acts.

w: 47,367

r: mature

Sooo they totally fall in love of course, it just takes a while - cue jUsT fRiEndS shenanigans. Like so so many of them. Lots of pinging, a little angsty but eventually they stop being dumb. So so so well written.

Don't forget to leave some love for the writers! Happy reading!

[astorytotellyourfriends]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2023.

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self-evaluation

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

as per usual that list is too long for this post so here's my 2023 fic roundup

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

far and away it has to be before i bury you purely because it was 1. SUCH an endeavor to begin with, and 2. so unbelievably different from anything i've written before. like, the criminal minds au was me dipping my toe into the pool of horror/suspense, and this fic was diving in headfirst. and i know it's not everyone's cup of tea (or most people's, tbh) but i've been so pleased with the reactions of those who have read it and i'm so, so thankful for it 💛 (honorable mentions to always have & i always will and a tender age, tho)

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

it's not that i'm not proud of it but a fic that's been hanging over my head all year is if the fates allow because god i hate that it's almost been a year since i updated it and I'VE BEEN TRYING to work on it but my brain just refuses to focus on it! i'm really hoping to finish it soon, though (and the gd pirate au too UGH).

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

man am i glad i did an ask meme like a week ago that asked this question so i can snag an answer from that rather than spending 3 hours combing through my fics lol

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

lmfao @cyraclove left this one on a snippet of the onlyfans au i sent her and it's my favorite thing ever

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

there's been a few instances of that over the last year but no specific events immediately come to mind. it seems to come and go in waves for me and all i can do is just ride it out and hope my inspiration comes back.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

ok like i swear to god i never thought i would write omegaverse and yet a tender age happened and it basically came pouring out of me and onto the page so like?? what the hell was that??? (also no i have not forgotten i promised a sequel, it's percolating i promise)

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i tried new genres!! i really enjoyed the writing process!! (even if it made me absolutely insane at times)

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i've said this a billion times before but i think next year i want to try writing original stuff alongside fic. idk if i'll finish a whole novel or what, but i'd at least like to start something.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

my friends 💛

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

not that i can think of but i did actually let my sister read some of my stuff and she told me that i have a lot of ust in my writing and (yes this is weird but she's my sister and i know she means well) that she wished i had an outlet for it irl so like. i guess that's something?

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i always say the same goddamn thing and today i saw a post that really encapsulated that so i'm just going to copy it here:

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

as per usual, so many. i've got a bunch half-started already that i haven't shared yet and i'm really hoping to be able to get them Mostly Finished before i start posting them, so keep your fingers crossed and an eye out 👀

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@cyraclove, @medusasfinalgirl, @staceymcgillicuddy (and anybody else who would like to do this, i'm tagging u)

[ofmermaidstories]

hello, darling mermsy!! i’m back, yet again, with another brainrot proposal for you — but this time for our blasty boy!

we’ve heard of dekules, but are we ready for bakushang? shangkugo? (basically just katsuki as li shang, i’m realising only now that there’s no easy way to merge their names together <//3) they’re both tall, dark, brooding, but are soft and caring if you get through to them deep enough. our courageous, troublemaking Y/N and the newly appointed captain of the emperor’s army, bakugo katsuki! what a perfect match!!

i believe this isn’t by any means an original idea!! i know andy has a fic about this (it’s absolutely incredible, melted my brain just three chapters in) if u haven’t already read it!!! just wanted to get your take on this if u haven’t already done one yet, bc i recently rewatched the 1998 mulan and had the lightbulb to word vomit about this to you!!!

hansy!!! my love!!! i’m sorry, i meant to slip into your inbox to wish you well/ask how your exams went—are you free from the perils of schoolwork, yet??? you’re so clever, i bet you did well. 🥺🍀

but okay let’s play, LOL. War Paint was one of the very first BNHA x Reader fics I ever read so I will always be fiercely loyal to it!!! Saying that, and I mean this with nothing but absolute love Andy, DONT @ ME, but reading War Paint gave me less Mulan vibes and more Song of the Lionness ones.

(Simplifying it—really simplifying it—a girl pretends to be her twin brother so she can train as a knight! There’s lots of magic and even some romance and Tamora Pierce has been one of my favourite authors since I was a kid!)

I think it has to do with the fact that War Paint is focused on barrack/training/castle life and the subplot with the thief—whereas when I think of Mulan, I think of war.

Mulan is one of my favourite 🅱️isney movies!!! I first saw it when my primary school had a fundraiser—they set up a projector and screened Mulan and I very distinctly remember being overwhelmingly excited as the opening credits started (I nearly choked on my red twists/twizzlers) and my Dad telling me I had to be quiet LOL. If I had to make a graphic showcasing all the fundamental pieces of media to both my personality and who I became as a person, Mulan would be centre of it. 🥹

(PSA: true to your heart is a bop and has been in my liked songs on spotty ever since i’ve had an account!)

Tbh, I’d never seriously tackle a Mulan-inspired fic just out of respect for Andie Trousers Multipled by Several, but if I did, I would absolutely play hard into the war angle LOL. Maybe even indulge in some war crimes!!! You know that scene where they finally make it to the village in the pass and it’s been burnt to the ground? Yeah. Yeah. 😌 I think we can ramp that up. Have our Reader and Captain Bakugou & Co engage in some Revenge War Crimes. People are bastards in wars already, without feeling justified about it. I was literally just watching a documentary the other week about some Aussie soldier who’s facing trial (has faced trial?) for being an absolute cunt—one of his lighter cruelties involved him shooting a family’s tied-up dog as he searched their home, so take that, take the power people feel like they have when you give them a weapon and a uniform, and then put them in front of a massacred village and see what happens next. 🔪

And idk id guess there’d be a romance in there somewhere too. 💀💀💀💀 tbh im more interested in the war tho LOL. (BECAUSE!!!! LISTEN!!! i like a challenge!!!!!!!! And I think trying to fic-ify an AU that dovetails closely to the (🅱️isney) Mulan tale brings up a lot of interesting questions when it comes to world-building, and like what you need to avoid/honour, especially if you’re borrowing from an actual, real world culture for it. The Mulan legend is Chinese, for starters—and My Hero has a Japanese cast written by a Japanese man. So, okay, maybe to simplify things for ourselves we Fantasy-AU it—but then do we eurocentric the world around them, to play it safe? Is that less playing it safe and more whitewashing? My Hero being Japanese informs the canon characters, which are traits that spill over into our fanon. Traits that we love! So is it a disservice to them to strip them of it, just so we can play War? Does this stripping make it worse when we bring in atrocities like slain villagers, and revenge acts? Do we honour canon by letting them keep their Quirks? How badly does that ramp up things then???? Like, idk, I could literally bang on about this for hours (and have, in the group chat LMAO im sorry besties 😭))

This is literally too much overthinking for your ask, Hansy, I’m sorry. 😭 ITS IMPORTANT THO. Because the world around them informs our characters!!!! So pretending we sort all that out, now we have our upstart, hot-as-shit Captain Bakugou, who has idolised General Toshinori for years now—and he’s out to prove he can train the best of them!!! Except he’s working with like, farm boys! Gutter-rats, given the choice of this or execution! Maybe there’s a cohort of like, genuine scrappers, but Captain Baku here has deliberately been given the bottom of the conscript list: this is a test. And I!! Personally!!! Think that should make him an utter bastard when dealing with our Reader!!! I think in canon, Bakugou is like, learning that people need more than to be told “u suck, do better” so I like to believe Captain Bakugou would try—maybe he and his lil friends learnt hard in a trial by fire when they were kids, during the First War—so he’s earnt this leadership role. But he’s used to fighting with peers! Peers that knew what they were doing! And now he has to oversee the training of like, the most inept civilians he’s ever witnessed! I think we could justify him losing his cool—specifically with our Reader. 😌

A Reader who doesn’t take it!!! I’ve always liked that in 🅱️isney’s Mulan, she does it for her father. So I’d give that same motivation to our Reader—a tomboy who’s always been better at giving the village boys a run for their money in their little games, who’s always wanted to go and play with them when they roughhouse. Maybe to make things more interesting, we introduce a fiancé—one of those same village boys! They grow up together, have an arranged match. Maybe he’s genuinely kind, in love with Reader whereas Reader’s just kinda like, ho-hum—but then the War pt. 2 rolls in, and he’s swept off in the first round of conscription (so that there’s no one left to volunteer in Reader’s place for her dad, in the next round!).

Oh. You know what? We could ramp up that massacred village scene by making his platoon or whatever they’re called the ones that were stationed there—so Reader finds fiancé’s helmet!!!!! And then she’s all like, omg, 😧. And then she could tie it to her saddlebags and eventually bring it home to his folks. 🥺

(Reader and Bakugou could prop themselves up in their grief, maybe? Because I know in the film the stationed army is overseen by Li Shang’s father, right? So maybe in this version it’s like, idk, Jeanist or Edgeshot or something. Maybe Endeavour? Less because I think Bakugou would be cut up about it, and more because that means we could throw Todoroki in there as well, like, presumed dead (and then he’s NOT because I know Andy would have my head if I killed off her Special Angel Man in a fic!!!), but then that means in the meantime that Bakugou can mourn one of his besties (and they are besties!!!)).

I don’t want a dumbass Bakugou, either, so I think we’d have to follow Andy’s lead and have our Captain clue in early-on that Reader has been lying about their identity. And Bakugou just admires tenacity so he’s less like omg my gendernorms are being called into question and more like FUCK why won’t this useless extra get better at FIGHTING??? That could also maybe make any romantic moments kinda interesting—Reader could have this whole internal thing of, oh my God, he doesn’t know the truth, I’m terrible, is he going to be embarrassed when he finds out??? And then you have the actual reveal—someone else making the discovery, and wanting Reader executed for it, and then Bakugou’s refusal to do so is less a begrudging “you saved my life, and now my debt is paid” and more a silent confession of his feelings!!!!

I just—there’s so much you could do!! There’s so much you could do with all of that!!! Urk!!!! I wanna rip into it with my TEETH. I just—aJFDLKSFJLKSDFJLdmfhfskdmhj.