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fumifooms · 4 months

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Hey what're your thoughts on how marcille and chilchuck show affection for marchil?

I mean, marcille seems to be the type to be the most blatantly affectionate of the two, but I want to know your headcanons and observations on the subject. How do they communicate their wants for affection, and what do they view as signs of affection (ex: hugs, small gifts, ect.) and such?

Sorry it took me this long to answer!! Thank you sm for sending a marchil ask my way I swear I love them sm, they spark joy and even if I have uhh -checks- 67 drafts already I love dropping everything for them when the mood comes hehehe. I love talking about love languages actually! Little did you know that the first post I made on this blog was about analyzing the love languages of an ot3 lmao. The only reason why this is so late overdue is because as always I’m going to talk so much about it. The pics I put in it are relevant but I don’t put them right beside where I make my point, so stick with me even if they’re a bit jarring at first, they’re just meant to show aspects of them~.

Marcille and Chilchuck’s love languages

+ their domestic romantic dynamic. I’ll say, I ended up talking even more than I expected, and though it is in a marchil context I think my analysis of the characters is relevant even if their partner was anyone else, so non-marchil shippers might also enjoy this post! Give it a shot maybe~

To open it up, I think this post is very relevant. Marchil is def a ship where the ways in which they say they love each other feel more subtle, for Chilchuck at least.

Their perspective, boundaries and overlap

I think Chilchuck and Marcille recognize the other’s way of showing affection well, though it’s very obvious that Marcille and Chilchuck’s ways are super different. Marcille is very open and loud and Chilchuck… Isn’t. Chilchuck is reserved while Marcille loves to get all the affection she can get. Marcille could be seen as too much while Chilchuck would be too little. One could even say they aren’t compatible, but I think that’d be a mistake.

Yes Marcille loves big grand gestures and a lot of open communication, but her thing is analyzing people as they are, like how when she imagines how it’d have been like as his wife she put in details like how he’d be annoyed at having to wait for her to get ready and didn’t idealize that part of their relationship. She’s very good at putting herself in others’ shoes, at understanding why they might feel this or that way. She typically doesn’t seem put off when Chil is snappy or discouraging at her, like when she shows him the ball of Izutsumi’s hair that she shaped into a cat lol. (The panel at the start of this section was when she was disappointed in him for cheating on his wife, so her good esteem for him was gone). She has a high esteem of Chilchuck’s intentions and has good faith in him overall, so instead of going "He’s annoyed at waiting on me… Am I annoying to him? Does he dislike me?" or "He didn’t notice I got upset when we were out drinking with his colleagues. Does he even love me anymore? Would he care if I left him?" she goes "Oh that’s just how he is, I know if there’s an actual issue he’ll tell me, and he still has my best interests at heart.". Who knows if she’d always be able to rationalize and keep that optimistic attitude up long term, but it gives me a good impression that she would! Or that at least she’d communicate about it if she felt their relationship had a problem. She loves to confront people about that sort of thing! She can be more insecure and meek when the topic is sensitive to her like her being a half-elf, but when it comes to relationships like that, I believe she’d stand up for herself if it came down to it. The way she said that his wife might have left to "test his love" and see if he’d chase after her is a bit worrying to me, but ultimately I think that was her dramatic novels fan self talking and not something that she’d do herself. If she did leave, she would sooo leave a super long dramatic letter about how she felt and the situation and he’d reply and they’d make up I think. ANYWAYS!

Of course everyone needs to be shown some affection once in a while regardless of if she knows well how he is or not, and Marcille would be very unashamed about asking that of him. She’d respect his boundaries with public displays of affection as much as he’d demand it, but she’d be her usual overt self with stealing kisses or making him say I love you regularly. 0 PDA would be rough on her if Chilchuck wanted it that far, but she’d do it, she’d be able to twist it into something endearing too, like her being like "No one else gets to see him this way but me, I have this sweet side of him all to myself" and "He’s just reserved like that, it makes the time when he does show it all the more meaningful", them cuddling a ton as soon as they get home and Marcille feels touch starved, etc etc. So what I’m getting at with all this is: Marcille’s love languages are very self-evident and hard to miss so unless Marcille suddenly acts mopey and doesn’t tell him why, and unless Chilchuck has some anxiety (what with his ex wife just up and leaving without him having been able to see the warning signs), he would feel very confident in her love for him and comfortable in the relationship, if not a little tired or frustrated with some aspects of it if she sometimes does too much.

Meanwhile, like mentioned, even if Chilchuck’s love languages are more subtle, more rooted in casual domesticity rather than big gestures or words, Marcille would see and recognize that and not hold it against him or feel burdened by it. She highly values communication —in a way they both do, even if when it’s about feelings Chilchuck becomes a bit of an ostrich hiding his head underground— so if there’s a problem she’ll for sure confront him about it too. Chilchuck is good at voicing when there are practical problems or when he’s uncomfortable, and Marcille is good at voicing when there are emotional problems, so they’re pretty complementary in that way.

Surprisingly I think if she ever did a marriage proposal it’d be very private though, it’d be a big deal to her and she would want to talk about it in the comfort of their lonesome, already thinking through the grief and how everything would work. I think Chikchuck would also prefer a private proposal, but on the other end I could totally see him thinking she’d love this grand fancy gesture of a big public proposal and organize one for her (Ooh good fic prompt right there). Once they’ve talked it through though they’re both very enthusiastic about it and openly talk about it with friends and coworkers, and Marcille gushes about her fiancé and they both have bachelor parties on their own end and whatnot. The big day would be a fun one, and the daughters would be the perfect wingwomen I believe~

Their love languages

Alright now that the groundwork is done let’s do this thing! Ok so the "official" love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts (giving and receiving), quality time and acts of service.

Marcille

Starting with Marcille, she’s pretty balanced I’d say! In the sense that she cranks them all to the max. Oh yes, and part of it is that she’s very aware that the time they have together is counted, so she wants to make the most out of every moment.

Idk if it’s fair to say that Marcille has something like separation anxiety, what with her getting mad at Falin when she left and they didn’t see each other for 4 years, and with during canon with Falin and such, because they’re all intense situations that don’t necessarily show how clingy(or not) she would be under normal circumstances (and she doesn’t live with them so she’s def ok with distance to some degree), but also I def think it’s fair to say that due to her experiences with loss she’s scared of taking her eye off of someone she loves for one moment and for them to disappear, also like how we see her talk to Izutsumi when she thinks she’s going to prison. All that to say that yes, quality time!! She adores quality time, she’s the kind to soak up in someone’s presence even if they’re doing completely different things in the same room. She loves talking with him, cooking with him, bathing with him, even just chilling on the couch together. Post-canon they’d both be rather busy I imagine, so it only makes those moments they share more important. They’re trying out the long distance thing and making it work with the power of communicating well 🙏 Again, she’s big on acts of service, would resurrect you, would bathe you, would nurse you back to health or do something for you. Since she’s observant I could see her noticing subtle things in Chilchuck’s routine that she could help with, like getting his mug of coffee for him each morning, etc. I feel like those things are so natural to her that she wouldn’t mention them to Chilchuck or talk about how she does these things, so if she’s doing too much Chilchuck has to tell her because she won’t realize otherwise.

Gifts. We see with how she showers Chil in apology gifts intended to be from him to his family that she does value gifts! Giving wise, I think she’d be the type to be out shopping, see something that reminds of you then get it for you casually. It’s probably resulted in a few joke gifts that did not land lol, like idk modern AU a grumpy cat mug, or socks with "If you can read this bring me a beer" written underneath them. She’ll also put her heart and soul into gifts sometimes, especially for birthdays which mark the passage of time for her and even if a year passes by a little fast she makes it a point to always always go all out about it, she wants to show that he matters to her and thinks of him a lot, so she’ll put all of herself into picking out an heartfelt gift. She can get a little stressed and perfectionist over it but she does genuinely enjoy picking out gifts and giving them. Receiving wise, she’s also super big on it! She’s the kind to instantly value gifts more than other, maybe better suited options she has, like if you give her an ugly hair accessory or a mug she’ll 100% use them all the time from then on… Until she passes onto something new and the item gets sidelined a bit, but then when she’ll find it again years from then on she’ll be struck by memories and emotions and how much it all meant to her. I could see Chil getting her choker necklaces like she often wears for example, or books he can’t begin to understand about magic theory. It’s not as much of a ‘love language’ as the other ones I think, but she does really appreciate them, and if Chil makes an effort to get her flower bouquets somewhat regularly it would for sure make her feel really loved and happy. Oh yes! Also I def think that if she took up sewing or (personal hc) she’d love felting bc of when she did a tiny Izutsumi with her hair, she’d love making handmade gifts! She’d weave him a bracelet. She’d write him letters and put a nice scented oil on them.

Physical touch ohhh she’s big on touch. Even platonically we see that she’s very casual with her touches and does it a ton to most people (mostly Falin, Izutsumi and Chilchuck, but with her being a healer it also happens with Laios etc) and likes to cuddle or hang onto others, in daydream hour artworks, when sleeping with Izutsumi in an extra, etc etc. Even if she had a romantic partner I think she’d keep doing that with her friends and maybe even favoring Falin when she’s there for platonic touch, but I also def think that she’d be super touchy feely with her partner both in public and in private. As long as it doesn’t interfere with what Chil’s doing and he can remain cool and collected™️ he wouldn’t mind I think, so they’d be holding hands often and like, if he were to sit down on a couch with a beer she’d just drape herself over him and they’d chill out there (until they talk and she makes him laugh too hard and he spits his beer out all over them rip), not unlike how Izutsumi would. But YES physical touch is def a big love language for her, wether they’re arguing or just sharing a soft moment together, if he put his hand to her cheek gently she would melt into his touch. And she loves doting on others herself and touching them and feeling like they’re real and warm and alive, so yes yes touch is a big thing to her. Words of affirmation aren’t a big deal to her to give out, because it’s so natural to her, but they would mean a lot to her to receive. She can get insecure and feel lonely/alone, and having someone be supportive and tell her that she is valued like in the mandrake chapter lifts a lot of weight off of her shoulders, and I imagine that’s doubly meaningful when the words are each and all true and earned when they come from Chil. Whenever he says "I love you" unprompted it’s like an arrow to the heart. Again, if he made the effort to be romantic and like idk, tell her poetic things like it’s a love letter she would absolutely melt. "My boyfriend is the best, most romantic most loving most virtuous man" @ everyone in hearing distance etc etc. She wants to keep his words all to herself and be a little greedy but just maybe while kicking her feet she’d go "and then he said blablabla~" with friends and coworkers at the palace (who may or may nit be willing listeners lol).

So because of all of this, of how she values all of them, I think she’d cherish whichever love language her partner does the least! She likes variety, and like we’ve talked a bit she adapts herself to whoever she’s with a bit. She’s personally a big cuddler, but she’d value whenever Chilchuck says that he loves her etc more in the end because she knows how much that means for him and how many feelings were put into that gesture for her.

She wants the full range of affection, everything that someone is ready to offer. She wants the full storybook romance experience babyy, if it’s a crumb of love she’ll take it and gobble it up whichever form it takes. They all mean something to her in different ways.

Chilchuck

Chilchuck is more picky. He knows what he likes and what he doesn’t like, and he doesn’t like to compromise much (though learning to do so is part of his arc in canon). His favorites are acts of service and words of affirmation, and physical touch selectively, imo.

First of all, Chilchuck is a more private person by nature, but I think it’s also worth pointing out that he has some stress over how things ended with his wife, so someone growing on him and him getting to trust them etc also just takes slower. Wether you think Chilchuck will largely be open and comfortable once the confession’s done and they’re dating, or if him opening up and growing used to being loving and loved again is more gradual even throughout their romantic relationship, his love languages will differ depending on what "stage" he is at. For example, I think he’d actually love receiving words of affirmation, they’re just not his highest priority and he needs to highly value them and trust them first, trust that they’re not lies or that you don’t have shit judgement. For the rest of this though I’ll assume they’ve been dating for a good while and have grown used to it and are very familiar with each other. Like Marcille maybe his insecurities creep up on him sometimes, but with the power of communication and support those moments tend to be short lived 💪 She keeps him from using alcohol as a bad coping mechanism & distraction too much.

Ok so starting out with quality time… I’ll get it out of the way but yes I think they’d be sexually active, though with how they work away from each other like with his wife and he spent 4 years holding out fr her his libido isn’t as intense as we’d asssume I think, and for elves "often" might be like once a month, so who knows. This is gonna come back in the physical touch section~ But yes Chilchuck spent a lot of time away from his family, so I think if he values quality time he super values the quality more than the quantity of time spent together. That said, I also headcanon that he gets stuck in his head a bunch about it so as long as he thinks about his family to motivate him on the job for example, he also half-asses the time he spends home and he’s generally too tired to go out and do big things, just wanna relax, so idk!! He might be a bit of a neglectful lover and Marcille needs to poke him so they go out on dates, but yes I think in a similar way to Marcille he really appreciates the time just spent together, even if it’s working on their own thing in the same room. As for conversations or emotionally meaningful moments, I think emotional stuff tires him out quickly, unlike with Marcille where she seeks emotional stimulation from books, so spending time being heartfelt and vulnerable together would be appreciated, but would need to be kinda rare for him to not be exhausted dead lying on the pavement and unable to keep up. Feeling gets him tired too, he never knows wether to repress or let the love grow or how to word what he’s feeling etc etc. At least at first, dates that are activities and allows him to just have fun without thinking much are best. It’ll take him time to grow more used to feeling emotionally naked with her and for it to come more easily and naturally, but they’ll get there and they’ll be sooo domestic. So in the end! Quality time is appreciated but not particularly important, Chilchuck can really keeps the love going even when spending a loooong time away from each other or keeping the moments spent together casual. Oh yes I haven’t gone into that in any of my posts so far I think, but part of why he’s so casual and seemingly dismissive with his wife imo is because the relationship was sooo based on familiarity, respect and trust to him, they’ve been together forever, he trusted that they loved each other and were in this together and that he didn’t have to be extra for her to feel comfortable in the relationship because he trusted that she knew him well enough, trusted that she would stay with him even if their relationship wasn’t perfect, etc etc. So imo as long as he’s like "I love her and that’s enough for me, I trust that if there’s something up she’ll tell me and we can figure it out, I trust in our relationship to stay strong even if we don’t see each other much" then he can seem very casual and neglectful from an outside perspective. But make no mistake he thinks about her all the time and sighs forlornly because he wants to sleep in her arms after a hard day of work and has horny dreams of her 10/10 she matters a lot to him.

Acts of service!!! Biiig big one, there’s little more that Chilchuck values receiving than respect, though he’s much more stingy about giving it out, what with his teasing and insulting snappy remarks and how he’s always laughing at Marcille in canon. But yes like mentioned just before, Chilchuck likes familiarity in a relationship, so his partner anticipating his needs and going out of their way to do services for him would be suuper appreciated and would make him feel loved, would make him feel understood which in turn makes him feel safe that he doesn’t have to try and be someone he’s not to satisfy her and that she understands him well enough that she wouldn’t leave him due to miscommunication. Doing big favors would also be appreciated, but he prefers to live a routinely daily life imo so the acts of service would show themselves in small ways, like idk letting the water run in the bath because he knows Marcille will want to take a relaxing bath when she comes home from work. It’s definitely the love language that he does/give out the most imo, they’re the way he’s most comfortable showing that he cares and that he thinks of them and that he loves them, and he can feel safe doing them in any context wether he has all the eyes in the world on him or if they’re alone. He’s also generally protective, and looking out for her would fit into this category imo. But yes post-canon, I think one way in which this shows is that he’d do her hairdos, maybe even daily if possible. He loves blonde hair and he’s agile with his fingers, but he doesn’t value complicated hairdos much, but he’d learn a lot of hairdos for her, because he loves her and knows how it was once super important to her, and also bc he wants her to slay out there and at the same time he’s doing himself a favor by prettying it up hehe. He had a thing for undone long hair but he loves Marcille and when in the final chapters her hair was all messy the unfamiliar sight of it unsettled him, so besides just wanting her to get through the day without eating her hair and getting the urge to shave it all off, he also just does it because it feels so her and he remembers that side of her fondly (yes, even if that used to make her take even longer to get ready in the mornings).

Might surprise you might not but I think gifts are everything to him. Like the cowl from his daughter that he always wears, and all the mementos from his family we see he keeps in his room, like the dragon plush and the flower. Maybe they help him feel that the love people hold for him is real and exists/has existed at least at one point, maybe it’s about the memories, maybe it’s about being able to keep hanging onto them even after a relationship is over, idk!!!! But I think having gifts from his loved ones makes him feel like his life is fuller and warmer and like he always has some love surrounding him. For that reason he would super value gifts that Marcille would get for him. She overdoes it a bit and often gets him stuff for no particular occasions, mostly stuff that’s useful and that gets consumed so it’s not a problem or a bother though, but when it sticks it sticks, like a durable pair of gloves in a style he likes that she got for him. I don’t think photographs exist (at least not for the non-dwarves) but if they did oooh he’d be keeping stacks of them, would have some framed, he wouldn’t want people to know because he thinks he’d look corny but he wouuuuuld. He’d also have the "this reminds me of Marcille" moments when out into town, looking at jewelry or food that she likes (I imagine this is often the sort of gift/act of service he’d get for her, meals that he picked out because she loves them), but he’d also have the instinct to get her a gift on special occasions, and he’s s bit clumsy with it but he wants to make the item meaningful. He knows what she thinks is romantic, the woman has made plans for him to apologize to his wife with gifts after all, but he also knows that she loves gifts that scream "him" too so the man just doesn’t know what to do to make it as best as he could and he really doesn’t want to fuck it up. I think once he’d made a little metal sculpture-puzzle for her, like a little rabbit out of metal scraps, and he’d be so self-conscious about it but my god she’d adore it sooo much. It’d be cute if he got her a locket, even, and then with the help of imported dwarven technology they could get a picture of them or even all their friends into it and it becomes her most precious item for the following centuries. Ouuugh that’d make a sweet fic where he plans out a birthday party for her…… But yes yes, practical gifts… He knows she values ornamental useless things, unlike him, and though he doesn’t fully approve he also wants to do right by her so he’d go out of his comfort zone and find pretty gifts for her. I touch upon it a bit in my fic Grind Me Down Sweetly (named bc ground coffee beans & it’s meant to be like her slowly getting through the walls he built around himself :] Finding a newfound vulnerability with someone new but finding it soothing, sweet even if a lil bitter bc it’s coffee), and for example he gives her money for a favor she did for him as a friend. She doesn’t want to accept it, because to her doing something for her friend to help them out is more meaningful than getting rewarded for it, but for him respecting each other’s time and abilities is a big thing too. They end up compromising somewhat, because she then spends that money on gifts for him/them to share, so it ends up being a gift to the both of them for a shared effort~

Alrighty physical touch. In canon we see him get touched quite a lot, and when it isn’t patronizing or crowding (like others going to pet his head) he doesn’t seem to mind at all. But it’s a question of wether he’d enjoy it here. We don’t really saw that I think? He often doesn’t mind touching others but usually his touches have a practical purpose like pushing or pulling someone out of danger, and when it isn’t he doesn’t seem to enjoy it, like when Izutsumi sleeps in his bed. As far as I remember the only time we see him happy for touch beyond the few meaningful hugs like when he wanted the party to head back to the surface, was when his succubi were seducing him, sooo overall I get the feeling he’s not big on touch. Like being open with his feelings it’s something he’d keep for the more occasional time rather than something he does often. He is casual with touches but doesn’t give it out and seek it out naturally, so Marcille being very clingy’s not a problem, and as we see with Izutsumi always sleeping with him he’s ready to sacrifice his comfort for others too sometimes. I think being Marcille’s lover though I feel like he’d warm up to touches more, like she’d love to have him rest his head on her lap and to massage his scalp so eventually Chil looks forward to that as part of their routine and it relaxes him and feels right. I think he does like kissing, the routine goodbye peck feels warm and soothing, but with touch what he’d like the most would be making out and having sex and whatnot. Listen it’s super meaningful to him like, the peak of being vulnerable and naked and pouring out his emotions for someone for him. But yes she hangs onto his arm, holds his hand, goes to hug him from behind when he’s cooking, etc etc, and he doesn’t dislike it, but it’s not one of his love languages perse in that sense. It’s more that physical touches are a part of her, so he associates those with her, and so in a way he quite likes them, but it’s nit something he gravitates towards.

Words! I forget what I’ve mentioned already and what I haven’t oof, but yes Chilchuck values respect a lot, and with his last relationship he now values straightforward communication a lot. "If you want to leave me, at least please tell me first" style. But just with the way he is in canon too, where he hypes up his professional skills a lot, getting earned praised does mean something to him. Inversely, he devalues himself interpersonally quite a bit, calling himself a coward or selfish etc etc, and ultimately it’s Marcille telling him that he was a virtuous husband and that he may still have a shot with his wife that makes him see the glass half full and reflect on himself more positively! Remember what I said about Chilchuck first needing to value someone’s opinion before putting stock in their words? This is the canon moment that makes me feel the most like she earned that trust from him, he values what she says and her perspective. He knows her words aren’t empty and he’s able to trust in them more than he trusts his own judgement about himself. So yes yes, he loves getting told that he has qualities, that he’s skilled and manly and handsome and virtuous and kind, though he doesn’t need to be told "I love you" he’d still find it nice ofc. I say this because as I’ve said I think his way of being in a longterm relationship is soaking in the familiar casual soothing energy of it, he loves knowing her and noticing the little things (much like her with how she notices that he hates having to wait on someone for example), and he trusts her love in him, so he doesn’t feel like being told I love you is necessary, but it is a nice bonus.

And this is the bit where the post I linked at the beginning becomes especially relevant. I think Chilchuck shows his affection in subtle but thoughtful ways that showcase just how much they know each other, because to him love languages are less about proving how much love one holds for another but about defining the bond that they share, about quality more than quantity. He’s not one for big gestures, he just wants to feel connected with the person he’s with. Access intimacy, in-jokes, being protective/attack dogism, knowing the little details (Marcille’s favorite) and voluntary vulnerability… These truly ARE more in line with how Chilchuck shows his affection. And thus Marcille would see them for what they are and greatly value them as well.

Last points

… Help I forgot to talk about how teasing is like their whole thing lol

Ok so more concisely, Marcille will receive and give as much affection as she’s allowed, while Chilchuck needs to have the right setting right mood for it and makes more efforts for her sake to outwardly show it.

Edited in: Short section about pet names!! Chilchuck likes to call people by name and finds that in itself to be intimate but with half-foot names having ‘first names’ where Chilchuck’s is Chil, he might instinctively shorten it to Marci. Otherwise I’ve thought it’d fun if he gave bunny themed pet names teasingly, like his silly rabbit like the meme or harebrain rip, ‘bun’ would have the benefit of being related to food… But also I could see him defaulting to calling her ‘love’, ESPECIALLY if they had a conversation about pet names and discussed it- it could be a more sustainable way for her to feel loved since he’s not regularly showing his affection outwardly much or saying "I love you", that’d be sooo sweet I think. They discussed pet names, and since he doesn’t regularly say "I love you" or show affection all that much, having him call her love as a pet name eases all of that and makes her feel so special and loved. He takes a bit of time to get used to it and not feel silly and self-conscious, but nowadays it slips off the tongue so easily.

How do they communicate their wants for affection: Marcille will blatantly ask for it and/or make the first move herself, except for when she senses that Chil is tired and needs his space. Chilchuck will blink in morse code, and Marcille will somehow understand (to his upmost relief and adoration). He’ll grab her sleeve subtly to ask for her attention and touch, wordlessly walk up to her and reach for her face to leave a tender kiss on her lips, quietly speak to her if he wants to tell her something. And, you know, the other half of the time he feels horny and on top of the world so he indulges her wants for big passionate gestures and being very blunt and forward about it.

What do they view as signs of affection: They recognize each other’s way of showing affection well enough, but it’d be more about which signs they prefer I’d say. For example, Chilchuck does love getting smothered by her kisses and affection sometimes, but if it’s in public 99% of the time the embarrassment will win over, so it ends up meaning more to him that she doesn’t, that she holds back for his sake and she loves him enough to do that and she doesn’t blame him for it and she cares and she would stay with him even if he’s maybe flawed and- It means a lot!!! It’s like an act of service in that way. They compromise and do acts of service sooo much for each other, like she hurries in her care routine so he doesn’t have to wait on her for long, but then he sees her get out ready with her hair a mess and he takes the time to tie it up nicely for her. But yes Marcille overanalyzes everything and will seek out signs of affection into literally anything, but values whichever way to show affection she knows is hardest to do for Chil beyond the ones that feel so heartwarming because they just scream "Chil" to her. Meanwhile Chilchuck values her keeping in mind his boundaries, values her words and her being there for him, an unchanging fixture in his life offering him unconditional love through thick and thin. He values how well they know and understand each other, and how they communicate when things don’t feel as easy. Like, you know, when one of them becomes a dungeon lord and threatens humanity for example.

The compromises that being in a romantic relationship inevitably brings, and having to put some efforts to understand the other person and better the relationship, are points at the heart of Chilchuck’s plot with his wife imo. With the bicorn chapter, Marcille and Chilchuck have already hashed out a lot of their differences and come to a deeper understanding, so I’d say they’re halfway there to making it work :) Oohh what if I gave you hope in the world sometimes being a good bright p’ace where things can go right and love can be fulfilling and rewarding, and what if you gave me a concrete real example of the virtuous man figure that I’ve always idealized in books even if no one real can be as flawless, and the compromise both our outlooks on lives mixed to make made something beautiful and productive…

A bit like how the sweet & salty sandwich feels like an ill-fitting mix of ingredients but still tastes surprisingly good… Like perhaps a sweet woman and a sour man would go well together after all.

I’ll share this lil marchil song analysis @thatsmimi did once of Soap by The Oh Hellos to be the note I leave this post on~

#Ask #Marchil #Sorry according to my dates this was asked on like the first of december aka 2 months ago. I had 67 drafts when writing this up at first #Which dates it a lot already lmao #About the Marcille changes her fave love language depending on her partner thing: for farcille I think it’d be gifts and acts of service #For laimar I think it’d be words and acts of service and- Dammit it also depends on when in the timeline it’s set #Marcille donato #chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #Yahoo I am now freeeeeee #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Love languages #character analysis #ship analysis #analysis #This is 6k words #Headcanons #I feel so 🤓 rn I’m sorryyy I just love this topic it’s like getting to the core of each character’s psychology and shit it’s so AAAAAH #Handing you this post like a cat bringing you a bird’s corpse #They’re literally bittersweet ough they get to me

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sabraeal · 25 days

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don't speak boyshit, Chapter 10

[Read on AO3]

It’s not that Kamitami waits around for Kashima. People get that shit twisted all the time, thinking that they’re joined at the hip just because they’re in the same club a couple days a week, or have stupid kid brothers that like to run around together, or because he acted like some sort of emotional support dog for the first few months after that kid came to the academy. But that’s not why he lingers at the bike rack after practice, fussing at the gears as Kashima herds the skinny little bean sprout that passes for Kotaro out the school doors.

No, it’s because when he gets up, casually dusting off his uniform pants like this is all a happy accident, like he only just saw them wandering down the walkway with a purpose and not whole minutes ago, all he has to say is, “Heading out?” and Kashima replies, “Oh, Kamitani! I didn’t see you there! I guess if you don’t mind.”

He grunts at that, grumbles a bit, but that’s the thing— he doesn’t. Most people are effort, expecting him to do shit like talk and be nice— like he doesn’t have a dozen other things he’d rather be doing than shooting the shit with the boneheads in his class, or being cornered by a bunch of girls who think giggles are a good way to carry a conversation. But Kashima can keep one up all by himself, not expecting anything more than a grunt to tell him to keep going. All those nerds that study physics might say that perpetual motion is impossible, but that’s only because they’ve never seen Kashima on a real jag before midterms. Kid doesn’t even need air sometimes.

He’s quiet today though, letting Kotaro off his leash enough to scramble through some bushes. At least, as long as they stand there, staring at the quivering branches like they have any idea what that kid is up to in there. Which is fine with him; if he can’t count kids then he won’t feel that weird missed-step pitch and roll in his stomach, like something’s missing. Like it’s weird that Taka isn’t in orbit around him, some puny little moon determined to crash right into his planet’s surface, instead of the only thing he’d wanted for the last five years.

Kashima shifts like he might feel it too, like he’s done the mental math and come up one body short of normal. But he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t fill the air with chatter, telling him that it’s okay to have emotions, to mourn even the positive changes in his life. Doesn’t ask him stupid questions either— that’s what he likes about Kashima, honestly. The kid knows how to stay in his damn la—

“Kamitani?” His name sits high in Kashima’s mouth, strained even as he tries to look casual. “Are you avoiding Inomata-san?”

Well, there goes that. Time to find some new fucking friends.

“Kamitani?” Kashima cranes his huge eyes towards him, shock scrawled across every millimeter of white around them. “Are you?”

He’s not.

That’s the long and short of it. If that girl’s going around complaining that she can’t find him, well— that’s a skill issue. It’s not because he’s been making himself scarce whenever he hears the squeak of her school shoes rounding the corner, or because he’s been finding reasons to stay late at club just in case some nerd’s lurking around the bike rack, waiting to shake him down over her stupid questions. Kamitani isn’t just walking around, letting Inomata live rent-free in his head twenty-four-seven just because she wants to know what his type is.

At least, that’s what he should say. What he wants to, once he’s had some time to stew on it. But what he manages now is, “Shut up.”

A couple years ago that might have actually done it; might have made Kashima’s eyes get all big and watery and sent him scrambling for a safer kind of conversation. But tonight he only sighs, sending him the sort of look that makes Kamitani’s shoulders ache, begging to bow beneath the weight of his disappointment.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you can just say so,” Kashima tells him, all prim, like shut up wasn’t clear enough. “But if you want my opinion—”

“I don’t.”

“—You should talk to her.” His gives the barest little shrug, like this is casual advice, something he probably hadn’t been working himself up to say all evening. “At least find out what she wants to tell you.”

“I already know what she wants.” What feature do you find most physically attractive in the opposite sex and why? “To annoy the shit out of me.”

“Kamitani.” There he goes again, giving him that look, like somehow he’s the wrong one here. “I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think it will be.”

He’s right. It’ll be worse. “Easy for you to say.”

Kashima hums, unconvinced. “She’s a perfectly nice girl, if you’d just give her a chance. Which you’d know, if you’d just talk to her.”

Kid wouldn’t be so quick to say that if he was the one saddled with fifty short answer questions about what gets his dick hard. “Why should I? Because you think it’s the nice thing to do?”

“Well, yes.” His head tilts, half-thoughtful, half-guilty. “That, and, er…Inomata-san isn’t exactly known for giving up…”

Ah, well. Kamitani grimaces. Kid does have a point. It’s just fifty questions, after all. No wrong answers. “I’ll think about it.”

Just fifty questions.

What traits besides the physical do you find desirable in the opposite sex?

Opinion shit, too. Simple stuff.

What would you consider the ‘perfect date?’

Easy as breathing.

Do you have a ‘type?’ If so, what is it?

Except it’s fucking impossible. Oh, sure, he’d given Kashima a metric ton of shit about letting some perfectly cute girl off because he didn’t know whether he liked her or not. Because he’d spent too much energy trying to figure it out, and he wanted to focus on being a good big brother, or whatever, but now—

Now he’s had two weeks to find out he doesn’t know shit about what he likes either. Just like back in first year, when Kashima cornered him with the sort of questions those stupid magazines asked idols, and all he’d been able to give him was his height and blood type. Only worse, because a third year should know his favorite food, or favorite color, or at least have a fucking opinion about whether he likes shy girls or sporty girls or whatever, and Kamitani—

Kamitani doesn’t. Even when he’s got his dick in his hand, it’s just whoever’s on the cover of the nearest magazines from the neck down. Nothing special, just breasts and butt and the idea of a warm body to make the whole thing go quicker. Real simple. Utilitarian, even. Reasonable.

It’s goddamn embarrassing, that’s what.

“I’m as bad as fucking Kashima,” he grunts, the heel of his hand the only thing keeping his forehead from meeting the desk. He’s half-tempted to let it go— a couple minutes of unconsciousness would be welcome with the way this day is going but—

“What’s up, Captain?” Saginuma’s grin can get him climbing walls on a good day, but right now one flash of it has him putting in real effort not to snap the arm resting between his seat and Kamitani’s desk. Be easy too; the kid doesn’t work out enough to give him more trouble than a toothpick. “Can’t figure out how to get the team to Koshien?”

“Shut up.” That gets his head up at least, even clears it a little. “I could win those games with my eyes closed.”

“Yeah, get real, Saginuma!” Hands clap down on his shoulders, shaking them the way Usokawa’s probably only seen through the TV screen. It takes a full count of ten for Kamitani to convince himself it’s not worth it to break his fingers too. “Kamitani’s got our season on lock. We’re going all the way to—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Saginuma waves him off, already bored. “But it begs that question doesn’t it? If our dear captain here isn’t biting his nails over plays, then just what has got him so stressed out?”

It’s bad enough that he has to suffer that idiot’s grin ratcheting wider, his stupid arm trespassing further into his personal bubble to support that shit-stirring lean— but it’s worse to see he’s got Usokawa doing the same thing, lenses flaring like some lame cartoon villain. Even Ebizawa’s half-turned in his seat.

“None of your business,” he snaps. Stupid move, since that only gets Ebizawa to turn the full way around, brows pitched high on his forehead. “I’m not stressed out.”

“Sure, of course. You’re just pulling your hair out for fun, like the rest of us.” Usokawa adjusts his glasses, too knowing. “Now come on, tell us what’s up.”

“Nothing.” It comes out too fast, too defensive. Might as well have put up a big sign saying, I’m hiding something. Bonehead move, since there’s no way he can asked these losers about—

Or maybe he could. Ebizawa’s had a string of girlfriends; nothing serious, just a few confessions that stretched into a handful of dates, petering out by the time they had to switch uniforms. Even Saginuma had a vague something over summer break second year, at least until the girl left him for the ghoul in 3-B’s haunted house during the culture festival. And Usokawa…

Well. Was Usokawa. Even if he’d never strung more than three words together in front of a girl, he had opinions about them. Not ones Kamitani cared to listen to, but he had them, at least. Unlike some people.

“Hey,” he grunts, scrubbing at the back of his head. “What’s your type?”

Kamitani’s not stupid— he expects the question to land like a bomb, devastating the conversation around it. He expects the silence, the glances that pass between Ebizawa and Saginuma, like there must be something wrong with their ears—

But he doesn’t expect Usokawa’s nearly instant, “B! Just like yours, right, Kamitani?”

It takes his brain a full ass minute to catch up. “I don’t care about your fucking blood type.”

Usokawa blinks. “But you said—?”

“He meant like with girls, idiot.” Ebizawa glances at him, like he can’t quite believe it himself. “Uh, right?”

His shoulders twitch, skin starting to itch right around his collar. “Whatever.”

“What? Really? Kamitani?” Sure, it’s not something he usually cares about, but there’s no reason for Usokawa to gape, pitch forward all slack-jawed like it’s some sort of shock. “Well, I like bookish girls with glasses and a soft side.”

Huh. F cups and a preference for bikinis would have been his guess for that perv, but that’s practically normal. Nice, almost.

“They always have the biggest breasts, after all,” Usokawa leers, and ah, there it is. The weird shit he’s been waiting for. “Plus they get all bashful during the beach chapters when they lose their—”

A well-timed cuff from Saginuma saves him from having to hear anymore about beach episodes. “He means three dimensional girls, idiot.”

“Hey, some of those games are fully rendered n—”

“The ones that aren’t programmed to take their tops off if you feed them enough cheesecake.”

“Oh, well, fine, I guess. In that case,” —Usokawa clears his throat, adjusting his tie for good measure— “my type is anyone who lets me touch them.”

“I said real girls,” Kamitani grunts. “Not non-existent.”

“I kind of like when they’re shy,” Saginuma offers, almost wistful. “Girls, I mean. Though I like them when they’re perky too. Energetic, you know. Or both, I guess.”

“They can’t be both shy and energetic,” Usokawa scoffs, like he’s some sort of expert. “Those are on two completely opposite sides of the same slider, like bookish and sporty—”

“I don’t know, some girls are shy until you get to know them.” Ebizawa shrugs, holding the only brain cell between the three of them. “And then they talk just as much as all the other girls. Sometimes even about the same stuff.”

“Yeah, Usokawa. Girls have layers.” Saginuma grins, adding, “At least the ones in 4D.”

“Hey, my waifus have layers too!” he insists, entirely too earnest. “Some of them even have seasonal outfits!”

Kamitani turns, putting both of those idiots at his back. “What about you?”

Ebizawa blinks. “Me?”

“You’re the only one out of these chucklefucks who’s managed to talk to more than one girl for ten minutes.” And have her keep his interest for longer than it takes the conversation to end. A superpower, as far as Kamitani’s concerned. “What’s your take?”

“Oh…er…” He runs a hand through the fluff of his hair. “I don’t really know. Ah…nice girls, I guess?”

“Nice girls?” Saginuma groans. “Really? All those girlfriends and that’s what you’re got? Girls that are nice to you?” He huffs, shaking his head. “Must be nice to be good looking.”

“T-they don’t have to be nice to me!” Ebizawa sputters, red splotching his cheeks. “Er, I mean…it’s nice, when they are. But I was thinking when they’re like…actually nice. The ones that are always supporting their friends, or uh…helping underclassmen with their work, or like…get chocolates for the whole class on Valentine’s Day—”

“Really?” Saginuma’s brows brush his hairline. “You want obligation chocolate?”

“I’m not saying that I—I want that! I just think it’s just nice that they’d think of everyone when—”

“Not everyone is too proud to take Kamitani’s seconds,” Usokawa sniffs. “Right, Ebizawa?”

“He doesn’t speak for me.” Ebizawa’s gaze cuts to him, desperate. “You know that, right? I don’t want any of your, er…ah….?”

“Actually, yeah.” Saginuma swings back around, forehead crumpled in disbelief. “What is with that, dude? Can’t you be at least a little grateful? Some of the ones you got last year were handmade.”

Annoyance itches up Kamitani’s spine, spiking his shoulders up around his ears. “I don’t like sweet shit. What’s hard to understand?”

“Yeah, but you could be nice about it.” Ebizawa flinches under his glare. “I’m just saying! Girls put in a lot of effort into that sort of stuff. It wouldn’t kill you to think about their feelings.”

“Why the hell do I care?” It’s not like any of those girls cared about his. None of them asked if they could shove their chocolates in his face; they just did it and hoped he’d think they were cute enough not to care that he couldn’t even put a name to a face. Like it wasn’t weird to have upperclassmen corner him with some half-baked confession when they hadn’t even spoken two words to each other. “I’m not interested in any of that sort of shit.”

His life’s complicated enough; the last thing he needs is to add some girl’s tender feelings to the mix. The hag’s bad enough as it is.

“Really?” Saginuma blinks, all wide-eyed, like this is some revelation or something. Like he hasn’t spent the last four years dodging every doe-eyed classmate that tried to get him on the roof alone, or every enterprising senpai that brought him a bento. “You know, now that I’m thinking of it— just what do you like in a girl?”

“Oh, hey, yeah!” Usokawa whips around in his seat, practically vibrating. “You’ve asked all of us, but you haven’t said— what’s your type, cap?”

It’s just his luck that every conversation in this classroom reaches a fucking lull just in time for Usokawa to put his personal business on blast. There’s not one head that doesn’t snap to their corner, the weight of thirty stares boring into into him and—

And Kamitani scowls. This isn’t just a mistake, it’s a fucking disaster.

“None of your business,” he grunts, already halfway out of his chair. There’s no plan once he gets out of it, just a certainty that anywhere he goes will be better than staying here, but—

Bing-bong ding-dong.

“All right, students,” Kumatsuka-sensei hums, quiet voice carrying beneath the last tolling note of the bell. “Time to take your seats.”

The thing is: he really doesn’t care about this shit. Perfect dates and blood types and whether someone’s chocolates end up on his desk out of obligation or not— none of that matters. The other guys might waste their time thinking about which girl in class fills out the uniform best, or who would look the cutest in a yukata, or whether they have a chance of getting either of them to kiss them on the school roof before the end of the year, but that’s not his problem.

A girlfriend’s inevitable; the kind of thing that’ll happen to him one day no matter how he feels about it. Worrying over when or how is like tearing his hair out over earthquakes that’ll hit in his thirties— absolutely useless, and completely out of his control. It’ll either wreck his whole life or it won’t; he doesn’t need to have an opinion about whether it’ll have a B or C cup when it does.

Or at least he didn’t, until now. Because now it’s weird that he hasn’t.

“Kamitani-senpai?” Chain link rattles as Sato settles against the batting cage next to his, arms folded just under the name stitched onto her windbreaker. “Got something on your mind?”

None of your business sits at the tip of his tongue— a reflex, really, a rock he’s always ready to throw— but there’s no one else here on the pitch, and if he’s being fair, it’s a manager’s job to ask that sort of thing. “No.”

“Senpai.” It huffs out of her, as close to a laugh as he’s heard from her. “The machine stopped pitching balls two minutes ago.”

The bat dips in his fingers, scuffing dirt across the plate. “Huh? Re—?”

A ball whiffs past— the perfect one, a real potential out-of-the park pitch— the whole cage rattling as chain link catches it instead of aluminum. Sato simply says. “No.”

Kamitani’s cleats kick up clay as he shifts, abandoning his hitter’s stance to scowl. Another pitch whizzes through, hitting the chain a little lower, and she adds, “But you didn’t notice one way or another, did you?”

Kid’s got him there. He sighs, leaning back until metal crowds him, worn enough to bow out and cradle his shoulders. Her head cocks, bobbed hair settling against the line of her jaw. Makes it look strong, like she belongs here, part of the team rather than just a cheerleader on the sidelines.

“Sato.” This time the machine’s really out, gears clucking across the pitch, whining and whirring until it finally shuts off. “You’re a girl.”

She blinks— real slow, mouth rucking up all weird too, weight shifting until she goes from at rest to potential energy all at once. “Is that what you were thinking about, senpai?”

“What?” It’s not like he needs to meditate on her bone structure to figure it out; the bust-to-waist ratio kinda gives it away. “No. I’m saying that you know what girls are thinking. Because you are one.”

Kamitani’s not the type to give ground, but he will give the kid this: he’s earned the epic side-eye she slants him, both brows hiked up to hit her hairline. Or at least, he assumes they are after he loses line-of-sight over the event horizon of her bangs. “I know what I’m thinking, at least.”

Good enough. “If you were asking a guy about his type, what would you want him to tell you?”

Sato stares. “Is someone asking you that kind of stuff, senpai?”

“Hypothetically,” he grunts, shoulders hunched. “What would a girl be looking for?”

There’s a pause— a long one; strained, like she’s coming up with answers he’ll never have the clearance to hear— before she says, “A boyfriend?”

“Not happening.” Not when his only qualification for this whole survey business is that he’s best friends with the idiot Inomata actually likes. “What else.”

“I don’t know about that, senpai.” Her nose scrunches up, all dubious. “Are you sure she doesn’t want you to say she’s your type?”

“Hell no.” Inomata might not know much about this shit, but even she’s not stupid enough to expect ‘high-maintenance know-it-all’ to rank at the top of anyone’s list. “This is…informational. Data, or whatever.”

“O…kay.” She fixes him with this look, one that says then-what-the-hell-are-we-doing-here-senpai, and, god, he should have just kept his mouth shut. “Then why can’t you just tell her what you’re into?”

Kamitani might be shit with his feelings or whatever, but even he knows that it’s frustration that makes his neck knot up so much it aches, that makes his fingers so stiff they practically crack as he drags his hat down, covering his face. “Forget it. This is stupid.”

“W-wait! Senpai”— there’s chain link between them, but Sato half-reaches out anyway, eyes wide— “do you not…? I mean, with girls, don’t you—?”

“Girls are hot.” There’s some heat behind it when he says it, a different kind of frustration funneling right out of his mouth, the kind that hits him when school skirts slip a little too far up a thigh, or when his elbow brushes past something that certainly isn’t a shoulder, but he’d rather die than let more of it out. “I just don’t think about it all the time.”

Sato blinks. “Oh. Okay. So you don’t really have a, er…?”

“I just don’t get what people want to hear,” he grounds out, folding his arms to hide the way his hands clench. “Like, what? That tits are good? Or that I care about some hobby or whatever? I don’t.”

“Ah, I…see. I think.” Her head tilts again, but this time it’s assessing, like she’s trying to figure out his fucking problem. “Maybe you should think of it like…what’s the first thing you notice about a girl when you look at her?”

Easy. How annoying she’s going to be until he finds a reason to walk away. “Legs?”

Sato coughs, like something’s gone down the wrong pipe. “Well. That’s a start.”

He frowns. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

Her grimace is all the answer he needs. “Okay, what if you thought about it more as…if you were going to date someone, senpai, what would you want them to be like?”

Nothing like the old hag, for one. “Normal.”

Sato’s whole face furrows, like not only is his answer shitty, but it has a stank to it too. “Normal.”

“Like they don’t get weird or whatever.” It’s self-explanatory, really, but Sato keeps staring at him like he belongs beneath a microscope. Or maybe on the bottom of her shoe. “You know what I mean. Girls are fine, but then they become girlfriends and just hang off a guy until something shakes ‘em off.”

“And that’s”— she hesitates— “bad?”

“Yeah,” he huffs. “Because then they wanna go on dates. Get all picky over who a guy talks to, even if it’s just for school stuff. Want to call them by their first name.”

Kamitani hadn’t even known Ebizawa had a name, not until his last two-month wonder came in with a special bento just for her Arata-kun. He could have died happy never knowing.

Sato sighs, hand rubbing over her face. “Senpai, are you even sure you want a girlfriend?”

“I’m not talking about me,” he grunts. “This for data or whatever.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, senpai” — she glances up at him, shaking her head— “but I think you’re an outlier.”

Outlier — that’s a nice way to put it, one even Kashima would be hard put to argue over. He’d try, of course, say a bunch of things about opportunity and responsibilities and everyone taking things at their own pace, but it wouldn’t change the facts:

It’s fucking stupid that he can’t figure this out.

“Hayato!” The hag doesn’t so much shout his name as let it reverberate through the whole house, practically shaking the floorboards just to get attention. “Hurry up! I’m leaving in ten.”

Kamitani grunts, wrist-deep in his shirt drawer. The same place he’s been standing for the past five fucking minutes, thinking about this shit instead of picking between long sleeves and short ones. Because that’s apparently where this whole disaster has put him— not able to think and function at the same time. “Give me a minute, woman!”

It’s Inomata’s fault. He’d been just fine before he looked at her stupid questions, but one flip through them has him so twisted up he’s struggling to put his arms through the right holes, taking no less than three tries to get the damn thing buttoned the right way and—

“Hayato!” His teeth clack down so tight he nearly scrapes a layer off his tongue. “Let’s go!”

“I’m coming,” he growls, shoving his shirt down into his pants. “I’m coming.”

His hands fumble the belt— someone needs to put him out of his fucking misery already— and it’s with one last glance in the mirror that he sees red and white stripes balled up in the corner. A half-tied, hopeless mess that’s probably been there since April, when the old taskmaster that ran this school insisted that everyone had to wear their full uniform to the Entrance Ceremony, and—

There’s a tie in our dress code. Even now he can see that sour sneer she gave him, all superior, like being top-spot in the Advanced Class made her better than him. As a third year, you might bother to wear one.

It’s stupid. He couldn’t be paid enough to care about what Inomata thinks about him. And still—

Still he snatches that tie and sling it over his neck. Let her fucking choke on that.

Lunch bell’s hardly rung before Saginuma’s hanging over his seat, phone shoved right up under his nose. “You guys seen this yet?”

Kamitani’s neck cranes back, the black blur on the screen resolving into a blur with shit on it. “Maybe,” he grunts, knocking Saginuma’s arm wide. “If you didn’t just shove it in my face.”

Kid doesn’t even break stride, just lets his phone settle between the four of them as he plows on. “It’s Onibaba’s Curse 3: The Cure, the sequel to Onibaba’s Curse—”

“I know how numbers work,” Kamitani grunts, glaring down at the screen. Not that there’s much on it— just black and some white figure, no less blurry at this distance. “What’s it got to do with me?”

“It’s playing at the theater in town right now.” Ebizawa and Usokawa are crowding in now, and Saginuma puffs up as he says, “We should go see it. I heard it’s even scarier than the first one, and that—”

“Nearly had Kashima climbing out of his skin,” Usokawa reminds him. It’s gleeful, the way he says it, a feature rather than a warning. “Sounds perfect.”

Kamitani catches the empty seat to his side and frowns. “Where the hell is Kashima, anyway? Didn’t he bring lunch today?”

“He did.” Usokawa turns wistful, one cheek propped up on his hand. “Probably made by that butler of his. Think he’ll let me have a slice of his omelet if I give him one of my hot dog octopuses?”

“No deal. That guy makes a whole aquarium’s worth of those suckers,” Saginuma sighs. “And they’re made from the really fancy dogs too.”

“Aw, but—”

“I didn’t ask about his hot dogs.” It comes out of him like a whip crack, a roll of thunder right before lightning strikes, but neither one of them does so much as jump, too caught up in dreaming about Saikawa’s stupid sausages. “Where’s Kashima?”

“He got called out by another girl again.” Ebizawa shakes his head, huffing, “This is, what? The third one this month? It’s not even summer break.”

“It’s third year, I’m telling you.” Usokawa’s eyes blink wide behind his glasses. “It makes the girls crazy. All of them are looking for their high school romance, and they’re taking no prisoners.”

Kamitani snorts. “Seems like they’re taking plenty of prisoners, actually.”

“Hey.” Ebizawa shifts in his seat, pitching himself up on one knee. “If we’re gonna get bread, we should probably get going.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kamitani gets to his feet, rolling his shoulders to work the stiffness out of them. “I’m—”

“You!” School shoes squeal as they skid to a stop right in front of him, and oh, he knows that stomp too well to even need to glance above the knee-highs. “Don’t move.”

It’s nothing to smirk down into Inomata’s scowl, to straighten from his slouch and loom every last inch over her, enjoying the way her mouth only furrows further into her cheeks. “And what are you going to do—?”

About it, that’s what he should be saying. Maybe even with a real aggressive lean, feet planted so she can’t haul him off like she did last time. But she wraps a whole hand around his tie and tugs instead, and the thought rattles right out of him, ideas as dried up as his mouth.

“Come with me,” she grunts, another good yank driving him two steps after her. He barely makes it; the room tilts as Inomata herds him out, knees suddenly jelly, trembling, and—

And she’s got to be choking the life out of him. That’s why everything’s gone all swimmy, breath ragged like he’s run four kilometers without stopping for air.

“Hey.” He digs in his heels, hauling her up short. “Cut it out.”

She scowls up at him, knuckles still blanched to match the red and white wrapped around them. It’d be nothing to knock her away, to squeeze that wrist until her fingers untangled themselves, but instead he just stands there, stupid, as she snaps, “We don’t have all day.”

Kashima’s the kind of idiot that would just take it, that would stand here, letting his mouth work— babbling, probably— until she hauled him off. But Kamitani— Kamitani waits until he’s sure his knees will hold him before he yanks the tie from her grip, demanding, “Just where are we going?”

Inomata blinks— all slow, like he’s the idiot— and says, “The courtyard.”

He frowns. “What? Why?”

“What do you mean why?” She lifts the bag in her hand— a nice cloth one, the kind the rich kids always had wrapped around their parent-packed bentos— and says, “It’s lunch time.”

That girl might not have him on a leash anymore, but she still bullies him right down onto one of the courtyard’s empty benches. One of the last ones, by the looks of it; everywhere else is covered in couples, making doe-eyes at each other, feeding each other from their nearly compartmentalized meals. Thankfully they’re all too wrapped up with each other to notice when Inomata shoves a bento in his lap, a single sheet of printed paper balanced on top.

“What the hell is this about?” Kamitani grunts, glaring as she drops down beside him, her own bento perched in her lap. “I was gonna get bread.”

“This is better than bread,” she informs him primly, breaking apart her chopsticks with the same precision as she arranges the pleats on her skirt, a sharp charcoal horizon cutting across her knees. “This is a balanced meal.”

He glares down at the metal lid, dubious. “Curry bread is balanced. There’s meat. Bread. Stuff.”

“It’s really not. Now hurry up and eat.” Her chopstick stabs toward the paper he’s snatched up between his fingers. “You’ll need time to fill out the rubric.”

“The…?” It’s a grid, he realizes, staring down at the sheet. Flavor, one square says, while another below it reads, Mouth Feel. There’s other squares beside them too— comments, the first one reads, while the one after says, score—

A grading rubric. She’s given him a grading rubric for lunch.

“There’s something wrong with you, you know that?” he grumbles, flicking open the latch. “Something real unbalanced.”

“Well, if you can’t answer some simple questions” — simple, she says, like it would take a real moron to get caught up on question two. Like a hot-blooded high school boy should know what he likes when it bends over right in front of him— “then I’ll have to resort to acquiring useful data through other means.”

He snorts. “Like making me choke down your cooking?”

“Don’t scoff when you haven’t even looked at it.” Her chin lifts, all prideful, but he can’t help but notice she hasn’t opened hers either. “Maybe I’ve struggled with some of the…er…finer points of pastry, but even I can make a bento.”

“We’ll see,” he hums, giving her rubric a pointed glance. She swallows at that, real thick, the nerves starting show in the way her fingers clench against her own tin, and, well, he might as well put her out of her misery—

“What?” It’s barely more than an exhale, breathy as she leans closer, glancing between the open bento and the look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s vegetables in this.” Bell peppers, broccoli, and the worst offender: carrots. Big, thick slices too, laid right on top of his rice. Gross.

Her forehead furrows, mouth rucked up with annoyance. “There’s vegetables in curry too.”

He grunts, rolling the chopsticks in his hand, trying to figure out how to get to the actual food underneath. “Not ones I can see.”

Inomata stares at him, real nasty-like, as if he’s the problem, and not the girl who put vegetables in his lunch. “How are you one of this school’s top athletes? You eat like a garbage bin.”

“I’m a growing boy.” That’s what the hag always says at least, before shoving more bok choy onto his plate. Chopsticks clacking, he excavates the rice beneath a strip of nori, stopping to pick up fish and pickled radish before shoveling the whole thing into his mouth.

Inomata pitches forward, eyes wide. “Well?”

He shrugs, picking out a slice of carrot. “It’s edible.”

“Edible.” He might as well have said disgusting from the way she groans, a useless heap collapsed over her completely untouched lunch. “I don’t want it to be edible.”

Kamitani shovels in another bite— this one with pickled lotus— and it’s…passable. Nutritious, if not exactly mouthwatering. He’d probably finish the whole thing, if she let him stop talking long enough. “Considering some of the other stuff you’ve made, you should be happy I’m not calling a dentist.”

“The point isn’t just to not cause physical harm,” she grits out, still not eating. “It’s supposed to display the sort of skills that would make me…girlfriend material.”

Inomata slumps, hair falling forward in a solid black sheet, hiding her face like she’s that girl from Ringu. Dejected, that’s how she looks. Mortified too, knowing her. Completely hopeless.

It doesn’t fit on her. Same way that case of nerves didn’t in his house, making her look all coltish and lost, like some little kid, and—

And maybe there is something wrong with this bento after all, since he gets that weird pit in his stomach again, the kind that can’t be filled with more rice and a hefty dose of curry bread. His mouth rumples, wrinkling as the words shove themselves out between his teeth. “It’s not bad.”

Her head rolls toward him across her shoulders, fixing him with a flat stare. “Do you want to date me now?”

Ha. Now that's fucking funny. “It’d take more than a bento to do that.”

“That’s what I thought.” She sighs, straightening her spine along with her skirt. Only one of them needs it. “Well, if there’s something you’d actually like to eat, just make a note of it somewhere on the rubric. I won’t make any promises, but…I can take it into consideration.”

He glances up at her, fingers stiff where they settle against the chopsticks. “So this what we’re doing now? Bento?”

Her palms smooth over her already pristine pleats. “It seems the most obvious skill for improvement. Yagi-san said—”

“Yagi.” He nearly spits out the fish in his mouth. “You’re taking advice from that pervert?”

Red flares over her cheeks, splotchy and uneven, but her shoulders take on a defensive hike. “Well, I wouldn’t be, if someone had given me something else to go off of. But if there’s anyone who knows what a bento should be like…”

It would be the prince of third year, who had his pick. “Why are you so worried about what he thinks anyway? Shouldn’t you be making stuff Kashima likes?”

“Well, ideally— yes. But…” Her shoulders twitch, a flinch rather than a shrug. “It’s not as if I have a natural way to ask. We don’t…hang out outside of school hours.”

“Does anybody?” he grunts, so dry he nearly scorches his mouth. But she glances up at him, all reproachful, like she doesn’t know if he’s teasing her or Kashima, and there it is, that stupid knot again, lodged right in his gut. “Listen. We’re going to a movie this weekend.”

Inomata glances up at him, brows furrowed. “Huh?”

“The guys. All of us together.” There’s an itch between his shoulders he can only scratch with a shrug. “Kashima’s coming too.”

Or at least he will be, once Kamitani’s done with him.

“Oh.” Her head tilts, wary. “That’s…nice?”

He sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “What I’m trying to say is: it’d probably be fine if you came.”

“What?” She’s all eyes when she blinks, mouth falling slack. “You mean…really? And you wouldn’t mind?”

“Yeah.” He sets the chopsticks over the empty tin. “It’s fine or whatever.”

“Real—?”

“I said it’s fine, didn’t I?” he snaps. “Besides, I owe you for the lunch.”

“But…” Her mouth works, rounding over a half dozen words before she sits back, hands pressed flat against her untouched bento. “All right. Sure. I think I could make that work.”

She spares him the smallest, shyest glance. “T-thank—”

“Shut up,” he grunts. “Just eat your damn food already.”

“I-I don’t know.” Kashima’s pale when they finally corner him before homeroom, eyes darting all over like he’s looking for an exit. “I-I might have to look after Kotaro that day.”

“Kashima,” Saginuma groans, hands slapping to his face. “Come on. The headmistress can’t spare you for a day?”

“I mean, sure, but really…i-it’s fine.” He puts on that shaky little smile of his, and Kamitani knows: if he looked under the kid’s desk, his knees would be quivering. “B-besides, it’s not like those sorts of movies are, you know…my thing, really…”

Kamitani had assumed it would be him who had to lean in, him who had to put the nail in the coffin, but instead it’s Ebizawa, brows pitched to his hairline as he asked, “Oh, so you’re scared?”

“W-what? No.” He can’t tell whether Kashima is shaking his head or just having full body tremors. “I’d be perfectly happy to go, if it wasn’t for—”

“So you’re coming?” Kamitani doesn’t even flinch when the kid turns that betrayed look his way. He’ll thank him later. Probably. “The hag’s gonna have to get used to not having you around anyway. She won’t have all this free labor when you’ve got entrance exams.”

Or after, but he knows better than to say that. He’s not going to be the one that gets Kashima to chicken out of college just because it might be more than two doors down from his brother.

“I-I suppose so.” The kid straightens, nodding. “I’ll, ah, see what I can’t work out.”

“Hell yes!” Usokawa whoops. “The five of us, hitting the town—”

“About that.” Kamitani strives to keep his voice even as he says, “I’m bringing someone with me.”

Saginuma blinks. “Yeah, sure, man. Whatever. The more the merrier.”

“No problem at all!” Usokawa adds, as if he has any bearing on the answer. “Anyone you bring is sure to be cool!”

“Yeah.” Kamitani smothers a grimace. “We’ll see about that.”

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