#a pessimistic mess

[medlabmech]

Oh golly, oh gee, it's that time of day again, huh.

You know, the one that makes you feel as if an abyss would greet you if you opened my chest.

The one where you're just having shitty days after shitty days and you're supposed to take it because "that's how it's been, that's how it's always been"

The one were the only constant in your life is the constant exhaustion.

The one that leaves you unable to even shout and communicate your pain to others, hell, communicate anything, really.

I'm so incredibly tired of this, every single day. Is it really that big of a sin to be born a Greek male?

[zeravmeta]

arc v is a story I think people always misunderstand and in part it comes down to the absurdly fumbled ending but even beforehand I think people misunderstand the point of egaoism cuz it's not really "never be sad idiot" but more "if you wear a smile, you'll feel courage and can go forward" which is the point all the way up to zarc who himself became spiteful and went insane trying to please everyone with "never be sad" ideology

yuya is deeply depressed and pessimistic and yet his aspirations to be a dueltainer (i like the dub name shut up) come not just from wanting to be like his father but in wanting to connect with others. jack himself says that yuya was only imitating his father without understanding what he himself wants because dueling is a conversation with your opponent and your audience, so if he is just parroting his father without understanding it, his dueling is meaningless. it is by design meaningless because it is not genuine to what yuya himself wants. It's why he moves on from just saying his performances out loud to an audience that doesn't care, but focuses on how pendulum is something he did not borrow from anyone else, his own voice. He uses pendulum as a way to connect with others by, as the summoning method works, combining everyone's voices, not just his own but that of his friends.

the ideas of bonds and connections extend throughout every yugioh series and with arc v the point of entertainment dueling and action duels being reijis "weapon" against academia ironically come from the fact that while solid vision can be a powerful weapon, duel monsters and dueling itself is just a game, a game people play to connect with others and make friends. yuya's whole focus on dueltaining is simply that he doesn't want to end this conflict with academia by just ruthlessly crushing his opponents and focusing on winning (which is what awakens zarc when reiji pushes him to do nothing but focus on winning), yuya wants to end the conflict by making people happy. he wants people to enjoy dueling for duelings sake and to see dueling as the game that it is, not use it as a weapon of war.

now, is this handled/conveyed perfectly throughout the series? I'll say no, because while yuya does make the effort and there IS notable pushback from his enemies, sometimes it wraps up a little too neatly, such as the city council disbanding suddenly or academias forces in heartland just giving up after like 4 duels (which is what lead to the whole egaoism meme in the first place). arc v has thematic inconsistency in how it presents its characters and yuya himself has been contentious for the longest time because he flip flops in this regard (even if the whole point of pendulum is that this dissonance will always exist by people coming into contact with other perspectives but grumble whatever its not handled perfectly here either),

BUT i would say it is followed through on up to the end of the zarc duel, because the whole point of zarc is that he was never able to take that step. he was never able to express his genuine wish to make people smile the way yuya could, which is why as the duel goes on you see zarc go from this overwhelming monster to an outright cowardly and scared person. his deck, design, everything about zarc ultimately shows him as a giant manchild who cant handle even a fraction of resistance against him because losing in and of itself (even if there would be no consequences) is the most terrifying thing to him. he's unable to win with any kind of courage. and yuya's friends, each passing the pendulum necklace between themselves, each telling yuya how his efforts pushed them all to improve as well, is what reaches him in the end. it was the culmination of their voices and how they all were willing to support yuya that reaches him, that yuya (and by extension zarc) are nowhere near being the unforgivable monsters they think they are

it's what zarc didnt understand, that he didnt need to always be happy or please an audience while ignoring his own struggles. zarc completely misunderstood how pendulum was born, because it was not his malice alone, but how it had dissonance with his heartfelt wish to make people happy as a duelist. yuya is the base personality born from his split because yuya is the embodiment of zarc's original wish, but yuya himself is never perfect either.

and yuya was okay with that. but zarc could never be.

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

[puhpandas]

I'm trying not to be too pessimistic about SOTM being 'VR optional' because like the whole point of this game is to tell the mimics backstory so theres no way they just. wont. but also it's just scary bc of how little storytelling there was in past VR games. ESPECIALLY hw2

but also once again the entire point of this game is to get the mimics backstory over with so no matter what even if it isn't the most on screen storytelling ever itll get told and we'll still be able to have it established so the story can move on

[ghost-proofbaby]

ghost my insta fyp is all biker videos all of a sudden so i think i know how i'll be spending my evening (rereading 24 hours and thinking about biker!eddie)

biker!eddie my beloved please come home the kids miss you

no but seriously that man just gives vibes of either having his shitty, broken-down-half-the-time van to carry everything and anything, or having a bike and always using it as an excuse to not have to give people rides. i can’t explain it.

also, i can’t explain it, but biker!eddie and mechanic!eddie go hand in hand. no, i will not be elaborating. but the last month or so ive had a lot of thoughts on it.

[star--anon]

that moment when you misjudge yourself as an aromantic person and realize that you, in fact, loathe being in a real-life romantic relationship

and you realize it via getting into a romantic relationship

[tempestbeauregard]

With that news I think we can at least take solace in knowing that. At the end of Season 2 Ava did come back according to Simon. So I full heartedly want to believe bea and ava would find each other again.

And now the story is ours to finish in Fic,in Art and whatever other medium there is out there.

[silverskye13]

I'm reading The Ruins right now and realizing I watched approximately 10 minutes of the movie based on this book. This serves to make the current plot both really, unbearably slow and kind of stupid--

[mudeokno]

just finished AOLS2 (ep 10 spoilers)

honestly i still need to collect my thoughts but ummm i waiting for an intense long crying session after this show ended

I know shows are a means of escaping reality so they should be fun and happy but the ending to this show is something else

Even I am not this delusion wtf was this

Would I have wanted kim doju and park jin to live together forever?

yes

Would I be ok (with tears) if they ended up dying?

yes

Would I be ok with only one of them surviving while the other mourns for them?

YES

Would I have wanted mama jin to die?

yes

Would I have felt great if she died?

yes

Would I have wanted seo yul to die?

yes

Would I have felt great if he died(with no tears)?

YES

Would I have been ok(shaking and screaming into my pillow) with naksu disappearing and jin bu yeon aka jin seol ran remaining?

YES

Would I have felt sad (with tears, hair messed up and a pain in my heart I can't quite point out if asked to) if Uk died?

YES

Would I have still wanted him to die?

YES

Did I want atleast some people to die?

YES

Did I want an intense complex finale fighting scene?

YES

DID I DESERVE AN INTENSE COMPLEX FIGHTING SCENE?

YESSSS

WAS I GIVEN AN INTENSE COMPLEX FIGHTING SCENE?

NO

WHAT WAS I GIVEN?

STUPID BABIES AND AN INCOMPLETE HUGE ADORABLE CAT SILOUETTE FIGHTING SCENE

I will now go study for my exam tomorrow

I know we or well atleast I am not happy with how this ended

WHY DO I NOT NEED THERAPY RN?????

[peterbishop]

it's actually going to be so funny when tedbecca doesn't happen and it ends up being nothing more than moments that jason teased so that people stayed interested in the show

[carolmaclaine]

sometimes I think about that little speech about fate thomas gives at the clocktower and I've yet to really dissect all that

[akuzeisms]

@pessimistics asked:

[  NEEDED  ]  sender approaches receiver and kisses them longer and more passionately than they ever have before. 

She'd spent the last hour pacing in her cabin, long before even sending the message. They were docked on the Citadel--the deepest she could get into Council space--and she'd made sure to send a ticket for a fast-packet flight. If she was going to meet with him, she certainly wasn't going to make him foot the bill to get there. If she went anywhere near Earth, she was pretty sure they'd be arrested and detained. At least on the Citadel, she had enough pull and authority that she could pull it off. But her gut still twisted uncomfortably at the thought. Two years. What was she to do with two years? Leaving him alone, like that? And she knew what he'd been through. It'd been hard enough on her friends losing her--what would it have done to him?

Just looking at him made her feel guilty, and she knew she couldn't mask it from her features. She was waiting for him to yell at her like everyone else had; she was waiting for the blame, the anger, the demands about where she’d been, why she was gone for two years, all of it. She anticipated the anger, and she anticipated how she’d deal with it: the same way she dealt with everything else. Shut down. Take it. Concede defeat.

As far as she was concerned, he had every right to be angry. She’d left. She’d abandoned him. For two years, she’d been gone without a word, and she’d waited months to reach out. Anything she’d say would sound like an excuse; that she hadn’t had time, that things happened so quickly, that she had other, more important things to worry about, lives at stake…

“I’’m so--” Her apology was cut short as he’d marched right up to her, hands on either side of her face, and kissed her. She was frozen with momentary surprise at first; it wasn’t exactly how she expected to be greeted, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Familiarity took over as she leaned into it, like a part of her craved that familiarity, the comfort that came from it. After all, what had been a little over two years for him was merely days to her, like she’d woken up and the whole world had changed.

[noxtivagus]

ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon

[foxstens]

mirage looks great but i don’t have high hopes for it

[mutopians]

before we get an official announcement on who is replacing biden as the nominee, im just going to put this out there: do not mess this up. i don't care how little you like politics. i don't care if this new nominee isn't your first choice.

our alternative is trump. third party splits the votes, and abstaining is just going to fuck the entire united states over. your vote (AND support) matters, and i better see anyone who doesn't want trump to be elected and the United States to become a fascist, authoritarian regime throwing their full support behind this new nominee.

we have three months to go. we're in crunch time. if you don't want to lose your rights, support this new nominee with everything you've got.

edit: just in case this somehow wasn't obvious, this is NOT the post to be a pessimist on. don't say we're fucked. say TRUMP is fucked. we can't go back and change the nomination timeline, but we can absolutely support our new nominee and ensure they get elected.

[ak4rin]

akari's got this thing where whenever she feels like something is even slightly off, she will make the active decision to get the hell away from it. leaving things not meant for her is pretty much all she does, whether they be situations or relationships. it's "self preservation" in her opinion, can't get your heart broken or your expectations shattered if you just never do anything to tick the balance on either side.

and it's worked for a while really, her mom expected too much of her career wise and she just left the society all together, her current job is limited and low effort besides for the investigation part ( which she loves so whatever ), she's nagging but in the end never tries enough with anyone. she's not a coward by any means, she's just gotten too comfortable into this bubble of constant stressing and preventing anything to ever happen to her that she doesn't even really notice how strong or capable she actually is.

this bad habits of her prevented so many things from happening in her life, and while she would rather die than admit it, it's definitely brought some regrets as well.