#a real bad one

[mikeellee]

Did Hori had an aneurysm when he looked back at this scene? Everyone is inspired by Izu's words. Izu looks unhinged in the best way...we don't talk enough how Izu really wanted to win! People reduce this scene as Izu wanting to save Shoto - and thus begin 'Izu le therapist '- but like Izu wanted to win.

Did he sacrificed his victory for Shoto's well being? I don't see like that but I can't see Izu winning against his fire without some support (Mei exists for this. Why Izu didn't ask for smth ? "It was short noticed" which fair but still) so...it's an interesting scene.

And if we take all the LN as canon then well Izu got upset for losing. He got in fourth place of Sport Festival....hm, more reasons for thinking the sports festival ruined Izu big time.

The pros saw a kid whose quirk break his bones and..."let" Todoroki wins.

Then again if Izu had won...he would have faced bk...and I don't trust Hori to make his beloved lose.

But I like this Izu here...he wanted to win. He needed to win and not for AM(or solely for him) but for himself!

[televinita]

I hate small independent coffee shops.

Sometimes I'm like, cool, I love that I've grown out of my anxiety! and then a mildly distressing, confusing or unfamiliar situation happens and I melt down on the spot.

(this is long i had to get it out)

BACKGROUND/THE PLAN: get my dad some Real Maple Sugar Candy for Christmas, because he nostalgically mentioned that being his favorite Christmas treat as a kid. Some people online say it's only for sale in season (approx. Feb-March) but there are a flobbity billion small independent farms in the northeast offering such treats for sale online right now, so surely Minnesota has some too. Because I'm not paying as much or more for shipping if I can simply go pick some up myself.

Small local/specialty candy store didn't have any, but after some googling, I found this indie coffee shop, Native-American-owned, that the internet says sells the stuff, so that seems promising. It's near a place I have to go to pick up another present anyway, so, 2 birds etc!

THE TODAY PLAN: Sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes to psych myself up first, because ordering in these places is always awkward AF as you try to find a place to stand and browse what's for sale and where the menu and prices are while the person behind the counter is asking for your order 3 seconds after you open the door.

So to make this as clear and logical as I can, I've decided that I will treat myself to a drink while I'm here. I will simply order the first and easiest thing I see on the menu (small coffee, or perhaps a latte/cappuccino), and then add the candy to my order because it would just be silly to go into a coffee shop for candy alone, right, especially if i get a really small portion of it, depending on price.

HOW THAT GOES: the place seems the usual amount of scary (people sitting at tables and in chairs, all pretty crowded together) but it's also cute, and thank god there are 2 people in line ahead of me so I have a minute or two to peruse. Cappuccino, $4.75, one size! That's perfect. It's probably only 8-10 ounces but still less out of pocket than at a chain store these days. I don't see any candy for sale, so when it's my turn, I order and then smoothly ask if they sell it.

"No, that was just for our pop-up shop," she says sympathetically, in a tone that says she's definitely been asked this before. So, on the one hand DAMN IT!!!!!! But on the other, she didn't make me feel stupid for asking AND I'm getting a nice warm drink out of it soon to combat the cold and blustery day, so I can go home satisfied enough since this was my last stop. After minor confusion when I'm supposed to scribbled a 'signature' with just my finger on the electronic pad, I'm good! This is the best outcome I could have asked for in a case of disappointment!

At this point: I would like to note it's 2:30 in the afternoon on a Thursday, i.e. not when I would expect a coffee shop to be crazy-busy.

WHAT NOW? I'm not really sure where to wait, since everyone else wanted their orders for here rather than to-go, but I just kind of step to the side while she takes the order of the last person behind me, and then gets to work. It's actually quite pleasant at first, because now I can scan the board at my leisure, try to commit some items and prices to memory, might come back here w/ husband actually! It is cozy as long as you can find a spot.

Anyway, it takes about 5 minutes from the time I first started waiting to when the first drink is called. It feels like a very long time standing there increasingly conspicuously while eeeeeeveryone else is sitting down, but I don't think it was. I consider finding a spot to sit and wait too, but the place is about 75% full already. It would be rude to take up a whole table for myself if I'm going to be out of here soon, what if a group of people suddenly comes in.

Second drink is called. I realize now that this is not, in fact, either of the drinks ordered ahead of mine. Starting to get slightly stressed, so I pull out my phone which has no data plan and pretend I can actually browse the internet on it. I don't need a table, you see, because I can play on my phone anywhere! Also I'm totally not impatient!

A third drink is called. It is still not for either of the people ahead of me.

HELLO ANXIETY MY OLD FRIEND: I find while looking down at my screen that my eyes are suddenly full of tears, as if I were back in college or the one and only time we tried to go out and do something with husband's friends. Because I SHOULD have sat down, I realize now, but also now it's too late to ~suddenly~ decide to "casually" sit down like I knew what I was doing and only planned to move now the whole time. Also there are people everywhere, and they will Look at me because movement is an aberration that draws the eye. They truly are every damn where, this place is the size of a postage stamp. I'm beginning to feel like I'm also standing too close to the table with people at it behind me, but I simply don't know how to move now.

The tears blink down. I try to wipe them discreetly but it's a double-attack so I just have to go for it and hope not many people were looking. Well, that sucks and I definitely can't raise my head now, but if I can get my drink soon, soon, soon, I can still avoid looking her in the eye as i grab it and run away and never come back here again. My face is fully red with embarrassment, heart rate is steadily picking up tempo and I have Located The Exits and am beginning to contemplate an upsetting but potential alternate move.

PLOT TWIST! IT GETS WORSE: There are now 3 people standing at the register, so she takes a break to collect their orders before it gets backed up too far, since she's working alone. I am momentarily relieved when one of the new people also stands nearby to wait, even though now I'm occupied in wondering how obvious it is that I'm crying and if he can tell and/or is going to be awkward about it.

I elect to pretend I have just gotten Terrible News and am trying to Hold It Together while tapping out a fake reply about calling someone as soon as I can. That would be a perfectly acceptable reason for an adult woman staring at her phone in a coffee shop to have tears on her face. Bad news is extra-bad during the holiday season.

One of the people ordering seems to be dictating a very complicated order as it is taking longer than average.

I'm also starting to panic about how many more people might have already been in the ordering queue before I got here.

WORSER: And it is at that point, where it has now been close to ten minutes (this would NEVER happen at Starbucks Caribou!) and what if I actually stand here like a fucking idiot who doesn't know how coffee shops work for a full quarter of an hour or even more and it's still not ready?? that I find to my sudden alarm I am crying and can't stop. Silently, but a faucet has been turned on and water is simply streaming out of my eyes. And, oh dear...now my face is starting to contort involuntarily, beyond my control.

FUCK IT, WE BAIL: That's right. I am simply unable to hold it together any longer and have already accepted my losses. It feels awful and stupid and unfair and I might has well have just pulled a $5 bill out of my pocket and lit it on fire, but I have reached my limit. The path to the door is no longer blocked by the line so I beeline straight for it. If anyone tries to stop me or call after me, I won't falter or care, I am Done. No coffee 4 me.

Of course the door I aim for turns out to be locked, so I have to pivot (and pass another table of people), but at least the door I came through is only a few feet away so I'm out a second later, striding away and now full-on sobbing because all I wanted was a goddamn hot drink and it was so scary and intimidating to go into this stupid tiny weird hipster space I didn't even want to go to in the first place, but I DID it only to have to PAY OUT MONEY and still not get ANYTHING AT ALL.

I got in the car and sped out of the parking lot and the coffee shop's line of sight as fast as I could. I hope the worker isn't too upset about wasting a drink/not knowing what to do with it; maybe one of the seven billion people who saw me crying on my way out can let her know I'm probably not coming back, while they gossip to each other about why anyone would do something so weird and not say a word.

SIDE QUEST: ...then I immediately spent like 2 full minutes panicking that my car was suddenly breaking down because it sounded really loud when I accelerated, and whenever I took my foot off the gas it immediately started slowing down, like not just coasting, but like I'd taken my foot off the gas while going up a hill. Pulled over in a panic, wondering what to do if my car died on the spot. Finally realized in my haste to leave, I had put the gearshift on whatever "B" is instead of "Drive." Instantly fixed, but wow what a fun cap to my day!!

AND IN THE END: Stopped hyperventilating pretty quickly once in the car, but still cried intermittently the whole way home. And again when I thought about trying to explain how something this small and silly got me so upset. I cried harder the whole time I was writing this post and reliving the experience while still being really upset that I didn't get my drink (despite paying for it!! but I obviously didn't have the wits to cancel my drink order so I can't get the money back if ingredients were wasted on it), mostly because i NEVER treat myself to fancy coffee drinks in take-out cups. It has literally been over two hours since this happened and I'm still crying.

To be fair, I haven't cried in a while -- about 6 weeks since I cried at all, and longer since I had a full and exhausting weeping session that usually a good sad book can provide me with -- and when I haven't done either of those but especially the latter in a while, the tears get all backed up. But still.

Anyway, that's the story of my really crappy Thursday and in conclusion, I remain firm in my hatred of small independent coffee shops.

P.S. Joke's on me because now between the lost coffee order and the gas I already spent driving to two places in vain, I believe I've spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $8, which would sure have made a dent in the cost of shipping. Far too late to order in time for Chistmas now, though, anyway.

[bahoreal]

obsessed with this

[puppyboypatrick]

online friends are like. i would trust you with my life. i have never seen your knees

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[franeridart]

more dragon

[sclappin]

Man whose definition of "monster" is extremely flexible.

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[ribbittrobbit]

these kids are incredibly stressed out

[liorlen]

gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[mikeellee]

I talked to @bibibbon and @doodlegirl1998 and MHA has many dumb characters and here is my list. Izu is not here not bc I'm being biased but bc Izu is not dumb, he just thinks so low of himself...he could create the cure for cancer and the story would find a way to blame him and Izu would think he deserves nothing.

Also note Gran is not going to be mentioned bc hate or love it...he was the best sensei izu had.

Garaki is not dumb either ...he just fall for a stupid potato

1) Afo

2) AM

3) Yoichi

4) all the past users

5) anyone who befriends bk

6) bk

7) Recovery Girl

8) Aizawa

9) Mirio

10) Nighteye

11) Overhaul

12) shig

13) LoV

14) Redestro

15) Aldera

16)Inko

17) Ochako

18)nezu

19) the majority of the teachers in ua

20) Endy

21) Shoto.

22) Inasa

23) Iida

24) Asuy

25) Shinso

26) Naomasa

27) Aoyama (I pity him I do. But his plan of spying by not doing anything is dumb...he is saved by the fact Afo is dumber)

28) Monoma (hori did him dirty and is shocking how .. hori says he got inspiration on someone he dislike when izu...is the one he shits the most)

I didn't add Kuro bc he doesn't have much of a character to begin with.

[duinoelegies]

something so crazy-making about unhealthy mentor-protegé relationships. we're foils, we're mirrors, we're the same person, we're a parent and a child, we're lovers, we're enemies, we'd be better off without each other, we'd kill and die for each other

[heph]

[blueskittlesart]

zl wedding (again)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.