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brvdleysaved · 5 years

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ok first off b4 i say anythin else dnt...... judge bradley’s blog rn i dnt get my laptop bk until wednesday so i am? stranded in a photoshopless land. it’s very tragic. anyway. and scene! je suis... nai oh me..... bk again w probably my fav muse of all time so let us! leap right in! p.s. her pinterest is here

CIS FEMALE — ever hear people say BRADLEY MILLIGAN looks a lot like MARGARET QUALLEY? I think SHE is about 24, so it doesn’t really work. The PSYCHOLOGY major is a SENIOR that is from QUEENS, NY. They can be +ADVENTUROUS, but they can also be -ABRASIVE. I think BRADLEY might be SHEEP. They are living in OFF CAMPUS BUT AFFILIATED WITH BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of spiced rum, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

father runs a gang n strip club in queens called ‘no angels’ tht fronts an affluent drug trade, primarily coke. his name is tony milligan n his gang is p infamous around there fr being jst like…. completely cutthroat n awful. they were nicknamed ‘tony’s rottweilers’ by locals bc he bsically has all of these trained dogs on leash at his command n they’re still a growing organisation tday

he’s pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story. they had a horrible marriage n tony ws quite violent at the best of times, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else on top of tht, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole mess. anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline frm tht point onwards

she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n sometimes gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

honestly. im probably missing a million things bc i kind of feel like a microwaved shrimp as i write this bt. basically her life is jst the worst a true… abomination! bc im evil like tht sometimes

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u and u murder a man in cold blood she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. a minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. the majority of her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she kind of has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality

speakin of which i feel like she’s bi bt wldnt have dated a girl or anythin. like guys r probably…. her preference just bc historically theyv treated her worse n she hs a very self destructive personality like that. sexy!

dresses like courtney love, 2014 sky ferreira and a character from this is england had a baby. mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hd kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content

personality wise she’s v sarcastic. sometimes blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s quite confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever. sort of independent too like she hs a bunch of friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone if she’s in a certain mood n jst wants…… to get into chaos. she’s probably kind of known around campus/town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: fishnets, stealing cars, water guns and whiskey

dislikes: amy schumer, honesty, yellow tulips and going home

in terms of Plots

hm. mayb someone tht knows her frm home/queens??? like tht frequents no angels (her dad’s strip club) or picks up frm there or smthn

i feel like she probably deals coke bt its like. Select Dealing. like she doesn’t need....2 do it fr income or anythin she jst. gets bored n is like cool may as well mke some money n possibly get robbed ig! anythin fr the thrill!

anyone..... shes brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship wtever.... ur muse is like like bradley is. a handful)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily Sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n kicked the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she....... Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

#livingintro #abuse tw #depression tw #hospitalisation tw #alcoholism tw #drugs tw #addiction tw #disappearance tw #murder tw #death tw #grief tw #self harm tw #alcohol tw #i think. tht covers them #this definitely. wnt show up in the tags bt....... smiles anyway

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chrliekclly · 6 years

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do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress.

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

#chardee #charlie kelly #dee reynolds #maybe this is sort of #meta #ramblings #headcanon #rape ment #im so sorry this was not wat u askd for flnsjkfgh #anon #ask

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multiversemuses · 7 years

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A Sonata for a Root Vegetable ~ A Growing Love Story in Nine GIFs and 1,000+ Words

@darthvoldemaul

“You’re one of my favorite people in the whole wide world; you know that?” Danny prefaces one day while they’re hanging out at Spatola’s.

“Right back at you,” Rhett replies, scratching his chin and leaning back against the green cushion of the booth. “But?”

“But are you ever gonna break the ice and actually talk to her?”

“Who?”

Danny gives him a look and tosses a crumpled napkin at his face.

“You know who, dude.”

Rhett rolls his eyes even though his crooked smile belies this feigned annoyance.

“For the last time, I do not have ‘a thing’ for your lady friend’s best friend.”

“Lies.”

“I don’t. I mean she’s cute or whatever, I guess, but I don’t even know her.”

“You could, if you’d just let me put in a good word.”

“Nah, that’s even worse. I can do my own flirting, man, when I want to.”

“Nola says you just get this really intense look on your face and then sorta walk away all broody.”

“Did she tell her that?”

“No. Nola saw you guys pass each other outside Farley’s.”

“Then she also saw that her friend didn’t even look my way, so it’s all good. Doesn’t matter what my face is doing if it’s just your girlfriend and Butter the Cat watching me through the bookshop window. Her bestie didn’t notice a thing.”

Danny folds his arms and looks away. “I wouldn’t be so sure...,” he mumbles cryptically.

“Why? What’d she say? Did she mention me to you guys?”

Danny’s expression breaks into a broad grin and he cackles triumphantly.

“Busted! You do give a shit. I called it!”

Rhett slumps sideways and groans loudly.

“I hate you.”

As the months go by and Danny and Nola start spending more time together, so too do their friend groups. “Groups” is being used a little loosely here since Nola really only has a couple of friends her own age. However, this only means that there are even less people standing as physical buffers between Rhett and The Girl.

The absence of Rhett’s A-Game is reaching such a level that it is even starting to be noticed by the (albeit unintentionally) oblivious. It took Marty three years to discover her best friend and roommate was in love with her and even she can discern something is up with her shaggy sidekick.

“You okay, Rhettro Chic?” Marty asks one night at a party, eyeing him over her glass. “You’re being all quiet. It’s weird.”

Vanessa, who is seated at the table with them, follows Rhett’s line of sight and figures out whose gaze has left him flummoxed. Mercifully, she uses her very recent upgrade to girlfriend status to distract the other young woman from this line of inquiry. Nessa presses her lips to Marty’s ear and murmurs what Rhett can only assume is a request to dance, given that they start making their way toward the floor.

As they cross the room, Vanessa gives Rhett a pointed look over her shoulder and tilts her head toward where Danny, Nola, and her friend are standing. Rhett gives her a grateful nod in return. If he is finally going to do this thing, love her though he does, Rhett really does not need Marty’s encouraging whistles and calls echoing after him.

He downs a gulp of his beer and strides determinedly toward the far corner. Danny sees his friend’s approach and gets a knowing look in his eye. After a little idle chitchat, Danny uses his best goofy smile and dance moves to coax Nola away with him so Rhett will have his opportunity.

Somehow, just like that, it feels like Danny has found a way to make this all easier on Rhett without directly interfering. Now, if he speaks to Nola’s friend, Rhett will seem like he's sparing her the awkwardness of being left behind as a third wheel. There can even be an unspoken commiseration over their current third wheel-iness. Rhett turns to face this fellow “single Pringle” and manages a smile that almost doesn’t look nervous at all.

“So, how’ve you been?”

Progress has been made, it’s fair to say, although they're still very much in the friendly acquaintance stage. Even so, it’s nice to be able to exchange subtle nods of greeting across South Main Street. Danny has other ways of reaching the bookshop if he were so inclined, but he conveniently keeps asking Rhett for a ride to make sure his best bud will be in the right place at the right time. Not wanting to be too obvious, Rhett always busies himself afterward by entering other nearby shops as if he’s come this way to run errands. Much to his delighted surprise, there comes one afternoon when Nola’s friend uses this to her advantage. Rhett comes back to find a scrap of notebook paper with seven digits tucked under his windshield wiper.

Call me sometime - S.

“So your friend Marty always addresses you by a nickname?”

“Sorta. I don’t know if it really counts as a nickname when she tries to steer clear of repeats so it’s never the same. More like name puns? Play on words or whatever.”

“Gotcha. I’m gonna give you one for your contact in my phone. It’s like Rheumatologist, Rhinocerous, stuff like that?”

“Nah, that’s more like that Benedict guy who played the dragon fr--”

“Got it! I’m texting you a screenshot.”

“...Rutabaga Wickerchair. You’re pretty proud of that one, aren’t you?”

“Taking my bows as we speak. I brought it up a level ’cause your last name’s in it now, too.”

“All right, two can play at that game. Check your messages.”

“Symphony OldMacDonald. That is... something special.”

“Hey, it’s a closer match than Rutabaga.”

“Debatable.”

“A coffee date. Very conventional. And very not you.”

“What can I say? I’m a man of mystery. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

"Sure, Jan. C’mon, spill it. What’s going on, Scruffleupagus? You’re up to something; I know it. This wouldn’t happen to be one of your collaborative effort pranks, would it?”

“Dunno. Guess you’ll have to wait in suspense and find out.”

“Gonna keep your secrets to the last, huh? All right. But I’m on to you.”

“Scruffle Shuffle!”

Rhett cleans the cheese dust off his fingers with meticulous care, pretending not to hear.

“Rhett!”

He tilts back his head, catching the remaining bag crumbs in his mouth. Rhett gives no indication that he has seen her waving.

“Pardon me... Handsome!”

Rhett smiles in spite of himself but keeps up the act that he hasn’t noticed her prior to this moment.

“Oh hey, Syd.”

“Y’know, strictly speaking, we’re not allowed to bring outsiders back here.”

“Funny, of the two of us, I’d have said you're the one who favors the Ponyboy aesthetic.”

“Har-dee-har. You know the kind I mean.”

“Non-delinquents?”

“Uh, yeah, something like that.”

“They’re right to be wary, y’know.”

“’Cause I’m such a bad influence?”

“No, ’cause I am. I throw a mean bash, mister. Gimme a box of rinse cups, some AA batteries, and a little dry ice and I could put this place on the social map in a night.”

“A regular Party MacGyver, eh?”

“Damn straight.”

“I’d better not let The Powers That Be know you’re here, then.”

“You’re gonna protect me from your scary headmistress?”

“Yup.”

“Risking life and limb for your lady fair?”

“Yeah or, y’know, like a month’s detention.”

“And they say chivalry is dead.”

“This is where you wanted to show me? One of the piers under the bridge?”

“Yup, this is the one.”

“Interesting. Why this place? What makes it special?”

“I don’t know. It’s quiet, I guess.”

“Yeah. Or it was, ’til you brought me out here.”

“Hmm... The water does seem weirdly still. Even the semis don’t scare off the fish, but they sure heard you coming.”

“Watch yourself, Studly, or I’m gonna help you get intimately acquainted with the Delaware.”

A handful of the academy kids are sitting with Nola and her friends around a bonfire on the shoreline. On a log by themselves near the far side of the circle, Syd and Rhett scuff sand onto the ends of each other’s shoes and make shadow puppets in the flickering glow from the flames.

“Crap, outta juice again,” Marty whines a little louder than necessary and tilts her Solo cup with an exaggerated flip of the wrist.

“There are a few Mike’s left in the cooler,” Nola points out.

Marty pretends to consider them but wrinkles her nose. “The ice has gotten melted from being too close to the fire.”

“I’ll get you a cold one from the spare supply in the truck,” Vanessa volunteers.

“Aww, thanks, babe. You’re the best.” Marty gives her a peck on the cheek and they discretely exchange a conspiratorial wink.

Things go back to normal for a minute or two until Marty’s cell phone suddenly blares. The ringtone is so loud that everyone around the bonfire jumps about half a foot.

“Sha la la la la la! Don't be scared. You better be prepared. Go on and kiss the girl!

Marty puts a hand to her chest and gives an exaggerated laugh.

“Oh, that must be my talent manager. Excuse me. I really have to take this.”

She sweeps away into the darkness with the phone pressed to her ear, kicking Rhett’s shin rather sharply as she passes. He winces and rubs the leg of his jeans but, when he sits upright again, Syd is watching him. Did she glance at his lips just then or was it a trick of the light?

#Ship: All's Fair in Love and Prank Wars #Rhett Whitaker #theclonewriter #Me @ me: Y R U like this? I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH MY IMAGINATION.#There's like a whole story behind this too because like #my sister asked me to watch the show with her and I thought to myself #'Hmm she kinda has some Alycia-level waviness going on with her hair.#Since ADC is our Jackie maybe Katherine could be good for the OTP with Rhett? We shall see.'#And then of course after the series all I wanted was for a faceclaim of her to be in a universe where she'd be happy & laugh & smile a lot #and what better place than engaging in pranks and banter with my beloved Chewbacca son?#so I started tinkering around with ship gifs and got in too deep #and then I saw a book at work with Rutabaga in the title and that sparked an idea #and the next thing I know I'm writing scenes to accompany every gif #and now here we are :P #Made for Muses

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂 here goes nothing..

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN *** 1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?

2) just please, because I’m asking nicely 3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something! 5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before?

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age” IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones” I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them? Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

#call the midwife #lets get it 1962 #I'm too attached to this beautiful show #like TRASH for this show #my commentaries™

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mercynpradkecw20insurance-blog · 5 years

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viking insurance quotes

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wildlyhardphilosopher-blog · 6 years

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puppy training techniques | puppy training camp

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/puppy-training-techniques-puppy-training-camp/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

puppy training techniques | puppy training camp

Gerbils By familiarizing your puppy with a crate early on, you’re not only creating an easy avenue for house training, you’re also allowing them to become comfortable with their future means of transportation. A crate is a great way to transport your pup – whether it’s a short trip to the vet or a big move across country – and by familiarizing your pup with a crate early on, you’ll make travel a lot easier and more comfortable for your canine companion. Most Popular Dog Names of 2017 Fitness Always remember that you are dealing with a very immature young animal. Be realistic, flexible, patient and always fair during puppy training sessions. Your puppy doesn’t just automatically know this stuff! It’s all new to him and he is bound to have the odd slip up and mistake along the way. Don’t worry about these mistakes, just move on and do your best to prevent them in the future. c Usually, puppies urinate within half a minute of waking up from a nap and usually defecate within a couple of minutes of that. But who has the time to hang around to wait for puppy to wake up and pee and poop? Instead it’s a better plan to wake up the puppy yourself, when you are ready and the time is right. Litter Free Tip of the Week “I THOUGHT THAT THIS COULD BE THE END”: LITTLETON WOMAN DRAGGED BY A ROPE INTO THE WOODS, SEXUALLY ASSAULTED Here are some common complaints that trainers say they have encountered: Many new puppy owners find themselves worried or frustrated by their puppy’s behavior, or just plain worn down by all that puppy energy. If that’s you, our expert puppy trainers can help. Hill’s® Ideal Balance™ France FR AA For over 40 years, New Skete, has dedicated itself to providing the best possible companion dogs for you and your family. FANCY FEAST 89163 I covered this briefly in the sections: ‘Taking Your Puppy To The Bathroom Spot‘ and ‘If Your Puppy Doesn’t ‘Go’ When At Their Bathroom Spot‘, please re-read and see if that helps 🙂 Are you an author? Learn about Author Central Kit & Kaboodle® reply Joints & Mobility Train her to lie down: This is not as natural for your puppy, nor is it as easy to teach as sitting on command. I have seen far too many big dogs who never learned this command early and their owners are not able to handle them when they get big. To teach this command, tell her “down” when she is already sitting, then move the treat out in front of her face so that she has to stretch out and lie down to grab it. This needs to be repeated every session.

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fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Muse Back Issue Archive Successful dog training is all about consistency, patience, and positive reinforcement. What is the best way to train a shelter dog? Country Living, Part of the Hearst UK Fashion & Beauty Network Country Living participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. Thank you – I totally agree, but putting in the hours, in the beginning, will pay off the rest of your dog’s life. It is so worth it 🙂 Cart 0 Our Training You dismissed this ad. Remove Pests Researching the best training methods remains a cornerstone of my career is recommended by thousands of happy dogs and owners nationwide. Follow us on Facebook & Pinterest for the latest posts and updates. Look over any ‘accidents’ your puppy had and you noted during the day. Sports for Juniors Related Video Shorts Bulletin Board AllFerretsFishGuinea Pigs Carrie Nichole (Author) Copyright © Janine Pierce/J9’s K9s Dog Training Inc. All original work on this site is copyrighted. No portion may be copied without express written permission. In addition, over the past year, we have had great success integrating remote collars into our training program. These collars use very low-level electrical impulses (usually lower than a human can feel in their own hand,) in conjunction with commands to reinforce understanding and bring your dog to on and off-leash reliability, while adjusting unwanted behavior in less time and with much less stress than ever before. Previous Post SUBSCRIBE (Left) Get the app Cleaning & Odor Control Settle ERROR Sunday 11:30am to 6:00pm (6) If I take him down and he doesn’t potty, multiple times, how long the total time should be until I need to take him to the vet to check for a medical issue? Richard’s Organics Walkathon Some time between 8 and 12 weeks, your puppy will start to show some bladder control (usually 9 to 10 weeks) and will begin to show warning signs that they’re about to potty instead of instantaneously leaking. They will sniff, circle and so on as I mentioned before. 3 Basics Steps to Training A Dog Rescue Tails We’ve designed a series of basic puppy training stages that follow the natural development of canine behaviors. Street Demonstration Your puppy is bound to display at least one type of problem behavior. Discover the best way to stop the undesirable behavior and how to get your puppy back on the right track. Also 50% of your tuition of this course can be applied toward the Dog Trainer Professional program. Use these training tasks as you integrate the puppy into your life. For example, ask your puppy to “sit” prior to receiving her food, “sit” before you let her in or out the door, and “sit” before you pet her. These are times when your puppy wants something and is more likely to comply. In this way, you are training your dog all the time, throughout the day and also establishing predictable rules and routines for interactions and helping the dog to learn who controls the resources. Training your puppy prior to getting each requested necessity, helps to prevent problems. Having your puppy sit before getting a food or treat prevents begging, while teaching your dog to sit before opening the door can prevent jumping up or running out the door. Be creative. The time you spend training your puppy now will pay off when you have an adult dog. To have a well-trained dog, you need to be committedto reinforcing the training tasks on nearly a daily basis for the first year of your puppy’s life. The more you teach and supervise your puppy, the less opportunity it will have to engage in improper behaviors. Dogs do not train themselves, when left to choose their behavior they will act like dogs. Clothes & Costumes When you first get your puppy home at 8 weeks, they can barely control their bodily functions so keeping a diary isn’t perhaps that helpful but I still recommend you do so, to get yourself into the habit. Positive Approach for Dogs To keep you informed on pet-related laws being… Announcements for Winter 2017: Items you will need Allergy Special Diets We offer basic through advanced obedience for dogs and puppies, as well as agility classes (for the novice or the competitor), specialty classes like Fun Nose Work, Come When Called, Trick Training, and more! It is not acceptable for puppies to bite people, or other animals, unless they are in true physical danger and need to defend themselves. How can I make my puppy go outside by his own without escaping? He always tries to escape and I want him to stay in the area I want him to stay. How can I do that? The most important thing you can do to make house training happen as quickly as possible is to reward and praise your puppy every time he goes in the right place. The more times he is rewarded, the quicker he will learn. Therefore it’s important that you spend as much time as possible with your puppy and give him regular and frequent access to his toilet area. Rates and Policies By Tammy Gagne If your puppy gets hyper on the furniture, he’s too young to contain the excitement of being on your level. Wait a couple months before reintroducing permission training. Dr. Becker Discusses Water with Paul Barattiero Company Get the app Suggested Posts [email protected] 5.0 out of 5 starsA really good book! Español: enseñar a tu perro a ir al baño, Português: Ensinar o Cachorro a Fazer Necessidades no Lugar Certo, Italiano: Insegnare al Cane a Fare i Bisognini Fuori, Deutsch: Einen Hund stubenrein machen, Français: éduquer son chien à la propreté, Русский: приучить собаку к выгулу, 中文: 训练狗到固定地方大小便, Čeština: Jak naučit psa, aby se vyprazdňoval venku, العربية: تدريب الكلب على الطاعة, Bahasa Indonesia: Melatih Anjing di Rumah, ไทย: ฝึกสุนัขในบ้าน, 日本語: 犬のトイレトレーニングをする Surviving the Night with Your New Puppy Build a great relationship Puppies Wed – Thurs: Noon – 6 pm Replacement Parts Most recently, the room I used was basically our dining room, though it’s never used for that purpose and is essentially bare. Eye Health Siberian Husky Lifestyle Military & Defense News Dining & Travel Mossy Oak Set up your new dog or puppy for housetraining success. When you are still trying to teach him to pee only outdoors, it will be counterproductive to freak out when he pees on your roses. Either fence off areas where you do not want him to eliminate outdoors, or use a leash to prevent him from reaching those areas. Wee-Wee® Pads Not Helpful 1 Helpful 18 Pet owners who are novices at training can begin a training program with these few simple steps. It takes repetition, time and perseverance for the puppy to predictably and reliably respond to commands in a variety of situations. Consider only classes that use positive training techniques. german shepherd puppy training | house training a dog german shepherd puppy training | potty train puppy german shepherd puppy training | potty training a dog Legal | Sitemap

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desigirl-ranting-blog · 7 years

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24/08/17

16:43

I’ts time i made some changes and took control.

control,funny thing that - control. I’ve always thought control is at the root of everything, whether it be the root cause of all problems or the root of someomes happiness.. The impact control will have on an individula is dependant on your relationsip with the concept on its own. If youre someone like me who is constantly battling with the balanceof it in my lifeto maintain my mental health, to maintain my relationshipsand just to maintain my physicial wellbeing and frankly stay alive - i find control the biggest turmoil in my life that i have to get my head around to get my life back on track. and just be happy. reach the level of happiness i was at at. Happiness. fnother funny thing that. Happiness vs contentment? finding balance between the 2 and differentiating the 2 is another thing which comes down to having control. Yesterday and its events made me realise i need to change and start new things in search of finding the balance i need to gain control and maintain that control - everytyhing i went though this year has been down to losing and gaining control; from battling anorexia and my eating disorder to my relapse. But now im going to stop taking on other peoples stress with hope of finding the control and attempting to control parts of other peoples life in aas a means of distracton from the lack of control that i possess in my own lif and the lack of control i am struggling with. but now its going to change. I know what i need to o, everyt one elses problems shouldnt matter to me legit its their life why do i give a thought to someothing that will make no difference in my life, no change no good no bad nothing im just wasting time and effort thiking and stresssing about other peoples problems making myself worse. Selflessness is something i strugge with. I need to be more selfish i am too selfless. I need to realise that being selfish is good for me right now in my journey of change, i have been selfless for too long and what have i gained from it? realistically? literally nothing. When was the last time someone said a little thank you, showed a little gratitutde fr everything ive done for them every thought ive wasted on them, every sleepless night ive had because of them> literally not even once, so whats the point? Iv got two new projects as of today, 3 inclduing this blog and im just going to spend the rest of summer, the one month of it that i have left to focus on re-building my relationship as a sibling with my brother and baby sister and re-gaining my spirituality; rebuilding my relationship with God. Thhats another thing ive let go of, and i feel like it could be again down to the control issue - the need to have cpntrol takes you away from your lord - we as indiviuals need to ralise we are not put intoo this wolrd to have control over everything and it is not physically mentally or simply possiele to hvae control over everything like that. We do what we can and lave the rest to God, he is the nest of planners and He does not burdn us with more than we can handle and hee mentions it twice in the Quran ‘Verily with hardship comes ease, verily with hardship comes ease’ ‘Call upo him’ ‘He is near’ We have the biggest and most help from our lord why do we not take advantage of it and just let things be - itll all work out in the end inshaa Allah. Wakeup early, g for a walk, read some Quran, make sure im ontop of all my prayers. But right now i need to leave starbucks and start making my way home because i have my taster for one of my new projects in 2 hours.

This has been so refrshingI honestly can feel a change already. P.s TThis coupleopposite me is reminding me of donuthead and i honestly miss him so much i cant even explain the kind of pain i am feeling in my chest right now. urgH. Anyways its getting so cold and so late so till next time :)

17:35

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs: june week three

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 on 17 june 2017 and 16 june 2007

16 June 2007

56) "Beautiful Flower," India.Arie

I'll cop to not knowing that much about India.Arie. I understand she has at least one classic album, and I can also see that there is no India.ArieVEVO account, so her entire career transpired when I was assuming it was acceptable to live life only listening to white men complain about women. This has clearly been to my detriment, because this song is simply astonishing. It's an inspirational song, but it's only India.Arie, a guitar, and some other voices for the occasional harmony, so it actually felt like, when India.Arie said "When they say shake your moneymaker/Shake your head," she was talking directly to me, decidedly not the target audience for this song. (I want to shout out how fucking great that lyric is again. "When they say shake your moneymaker/Shake your head." GODDAMN RIGHT. HELL YEAH. GIRL POWER FOREVER, SISTAHS.) It's such a cool and compelling twist on the girl power anthem, something toned down, but not so toned down that it feels like you're sitting around the campfire with the youth pastor. This is the second song, this and "Get Buck," that I think we unjustifiably left behind in 2007, and I say we bring it back.

78) "The Way I Are," Timbaland ft./Keri Hilson

I give Timbaland a lot of heck for being making loud and unnavigable music in these parts, but it would be dishonest of me to deny that this is a hot one. There's a build here that's absent from the rest of Timbaland's ouevre. Typically, it sounds like he's giving you a thousand things to listen to all at once, but on this one, he slowly adds more and more things, so once the chorus hits, it's the typical Timbaland mess of sound, but there's a structure, there's a logic to how everything fits together, and I can finally hear what made Timbaland the name that he was. This is GOOD trashy 2007 music. I'm down with this.

80) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," Kanye West

What 2007 vs. 2017 might ultimately come down to is that 2007 has the old Kanye and 2017 has the new Kanye. (Wait. I'm not sure Kanye West has figured into the 2017 equation at all, actually. Have I not been paying that much attention when Wikipediaing the rap songs? Has he legit not been involved with ANYTHING on the chart?) This is probably the best pure-rap song Kanye ever made, one of those songs where it's not the production carrying the day (though this is an astounding track), Kanye is actually on point with his flow and his rhymes. I sometimes rag on Kanye for the fact that his rapping might be the weakest part of his whole thing, but I'm comparing him to like Jay-Z and Kendrick and other dudes in consideration for GOAT, of course Kanye is going to falter, KANYE STILL MADE THIS SONG. This song doesn't work without a capable MC guiding the proceedings. Love this. Only reason it's not higher is because I don't want a cluster of Kanye at the top, and also I'm tickled with "Get Buck" being the rap song of the year so far and don't wanna see that end. Like, OBVIOUSLY, if this were 2007 and this song just came out, it'd be the new #1, but this is a retrospective, and I think it's important we reflect on how violent the "Get Buck" beat was.

91) "Whine Up," Kat Deluna ft./Elephant Man

You know what I don't think about enough? How pop songs end. That's partially because I am bad at this, but it's also not something I think about because we're not exactly conditioned to think of songs as stories. Songs generally don't leave you hanging, or end by saying it was all just a dream (with the possible exception of that one Nelly song from a few years back ("Cruise")), they're sort of like museum exhibits, where they present themselves to you in full, and you consider their merits as a piece. (This is why the critique Mariah Carey gave of David Cook's "Always Be My Baby," where she specifically says she loves how he ends the song on this off note and leaves it unresolved, has stayed with me.) I bring up endings because this song ends with Kat DeLuna singing "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for half a minute before fading out. I think the song understands that it's really just here to go "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for four minutes, but we still had a few years to go before "We Found Love" dropped, so it needed to go through the verse-chorus-verse motions, yeah sure feature verse can't have a song without a feature verse, but this is a song which knows what it is, and it gives you as much of what you want as it can before backing out, aware that there's only so much "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" one can take. The fade suggests the song could just go "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for ten hours, but we have expectations of our pop songs, and this wants nothing more than to live up to expectations. Quality chorus, though! Had a great big dumb time with this one! 2007's got it rollin' this week! Can't wait to see how 2007 keeps the momentum goin'!

96) "Wall to Wall," Chris Brown

Welp.

97) "Bartender," T-Pain ft./Akon

This song is just comfy. A lovely chaser for the song I didn't listen to but still had to acknowledge existed. After writing a good chunk about "Whine Up," a song that may as well have had four words, I don't want to over-analyze what is simply a nice song, sort of what to let it be, want to point out the casual misogyny that kinda takes some of the chill out the zone, but mostly want to acknowledge that none of the several sets of three minutes we've all spent with this song somewhere in our space is pretty neat. Well done, everyone.

99) "Startin' with Me," Jake Owen

"I took a swing at my old man one Christmas/I never dreamed that it would be his last" ...Did. Did this dude kill his dad? Fuckin' hell, dude, someone should've caught that lyric. How many people wrote this one? Three. Three people. Not one of them said, "Hey, what do we think of this line? It sounds like this dude killed his dad with a punch." But like even if this dude didn't kill his dad, he had sex with his bro's sister, he sold his grandpa's guitar, he punched his dad, he went to jail and yelled at his brother for not bailing him out, he wasn't with his family when his grandma died, this man is fucking irredeemable, and he just goes, "Yeah, I sure goofed up some things back there, didn't I? Ha, if I had a dime..." You get to say that about small stupid mistakes, like the thing about bein' too big a dick to a girl, or the thing about smoking. You don't get to have a dime for every time you commit patricide. You don't get second chances for ruining every single relationship in your life. Who on earth relates to this song? This is nonsense. It's this dark, twisted man singing this Tim McGraw melody, and it's illogical.

100) "Do You," Ne-Yo

2:48 PM 6/4/2017: Wow! A Ne-Yo song I don't remember! What a treat! 2:52 PM 6/4/2017: ...Oh. Oh I forgot this because it wasn't great. I get it. No, no, that's fair. Learning that this was a sequel to "So Sick" is equally disappointing. We talked about endings -- whoa, a thematic link between capsule reviews, who ever heard of such a thing -- and "So Sick" has a really solid ending, that lonely, soft "Why can't I turn off the radio?" and this is, this doesn't ruin "So Sick?" But knowing that dude doesn't get over it for two years kinda makes the dude seem more pathetic than sad. 2:53 PM 6/4/2017: REMIX WITH UTADA HIKARU?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I HAVE THREE WORDS FOR THE WAY THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL. AND BABY, IT AIN'T COMPLEX AND FILTHY, I CAN TELL YA WHAT.

Two new songs in the Top 10, AND Lil Mama hangs on for another glorious week! 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) Strong, strong week for 2007. Congratulations, year I have randomly personified.

6.17.2017

74) "Somethin Tells Me," Bryson Tiller 85) "Self-Made," Bryson Tiller 89) "Don't Get Too High," Bryson Tiller 91) "Run Me Dry," Bryson Tiller 98) "No Longer Friends," Bryson Tiller

The artists who have debuted three or more songs on the Billboard Hot 100 in the same week this year are, in some order, Ed Sheeran (AAA), Big Sean (hip-hop stalwart, AA), Migos (one AAA hit), Future (AAA), Nicki Minaj (AAA), Drake (AAA), Kendrick Lamar (AAA), and Bryson Tiller. ...I enjoyed the couple of Bryson Tiller songs I heard the last couple of years. I would not have guessed he had the clout to release a surprise album, the wattage to get five of the 19 songs on the album to chart, but here we are! Five songs! That were all pretty much the same thing! "Run Me Dry" was noticably bouncier than the other songs, but like these songs, this dude, like, you know how, with Netflix and YouTube, they sink so much into original content because the goal isn't to create something great, the goal is to create something people will watch? Like, if you're watching something on Netflix, you're not watching something on Hulu or Twitch, so it's in Netflix's best interests to throw a thousand spaghettis at the wall in the hopes of finding something to stick. These songs are designed for you to you listen to so that you're listening to that record label's version of this and not something else on some other label. (I can think of no other reason that this should be 19 songs long. I kinda wanted to listen to this album on the bus ride home, get a jump start on these songs, but the album was longer than my bus ride. Why.) Like, these are not, technically, bad songs. I don't like them and barely remember them however-long-I've-been-writing-this-paragraph later, but I never felt compelled to hit skip, and that feels like that's what we're going for here. Listen to this hour-long album. Don't hit other buttons.

88) "Met Gala," Gucci Mane ft./Offset

"I was that nigga locked up in the cell/And they treated me like I was normal/Thankin' the Lord for them blessings/I just left the Met Gala dressin' up formal" I wonder what a better lyricist would have done with that concept, of being an ex-con who can score tickets to the Met Gala. Like, I think Metro Boomin structured a track around that idea, of someone at the Met Gala experiencing anhedonia because they've been treated like the lowest form of humanity and now there's all these rich people who've never had anything bad happen to them, and the dude can't even feel like he's made it because this is a thousand miles from his scene. This is what the sound songs like independent of the words, at least, though I think we've established that the words are the least essential part of this kind of hip-hop. I'd probably listen to an album of Metro Boomin instrumentals, I don't see why we need Gucci Mane in here bleating about whatever.

90) "No Such Thing as a Broken Heart," Old Dominion

This was a'ight. I like that it doesn't suggest that if you love this hard all problems will go away; there's no resolution in this song, only a group of dudes promising to try their best, and that's the closest we're gonna get to complexity this side of Stapleton.It actually sort of reminds me of "Hey Ya!", not in terms of craft oh my stars not in those terms, but in its depiction of relationships where two people look at each other and say "I don't know how to be committed to you." Pop-country dude song of the year 2017, by a mile. (To reiterate, Thomas Rhett is ineligible because "Craving You" is pure bubblegum.)

94) "There for You," Martin Garrix x Troye Sivan

so baby hold me closer in the backseat of your rover that i know you can't afford, bite that tattoo on your shoulder, pull the sheets off of the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in boulder, we ain't ever gettin' older

99) "Butterfly Effect," Travis Scott

this was fine! travis scott can be counted on to deliver solid songs, and while I'm not gonna say this is my favorite thing he's ever done, it's still nice to hear him chime in. what a pleasant surprise! these reviews have gotten progressively shorter. the next review prolly just gonna be one word.

100) "Strangers," Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui

So here's something I'm guilty of: Me: There should be more women on the chart! Y'all: Here's one we like! Me: /sucks in air through teeth/ Not this one? So I'm glad that Halsey made a song I think is actually pretty dope. Like, I actually went back and listened to it again, simply because, hey, girl-girl love duet, that's new! I'm actually having difficulty recalling any hit song that was specifically about a same-sex relationship, and I'm sure they exist and I'm forgetting something thuddingly obvious, but this is cool, and thankfully, it's a good song on its own merits. Halsey and Jauregui mesh really well together, and the track is a perfect complement, something propulsive, yet understated enough to let the singers do the work they need to do, a backing track that knows what it needs to be. (Suppose it makes sense that someone who won a Producer of the Year Grammy would write a decent song.)

Only one new thing in the Top 20 because I stared at the list for 20 seconds before deciding I was not going to bump Kendrick from the Top 20 for Old Dominion. We don’t consider how much optics figure into determining how much we love what we love, but they figure in quite a bit. 20) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 19) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 18) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 17) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 16) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) Also I feel like bumping the Camila Cabello joint for the Lauren Jauregui joint is me drawing a line in the sand I wasn’t ready to draw. Please don’t hate me, the teens, I do not know what dramas have unfolded, what feels you have unfelt.

Who won?

So I actually did go through the weeks before I was reviewing 2007 releases, since I created a Google Sheet for YAS because, when my computer became unusable, I realized it was probably unwise to have just one file trapped inside one very bad computer. But since I put the stuff in spreadsheet form, it made week-by-week comps easier. As it turns our, 2007 got off to an early 3-0 lead, what with “And I Am Telling You,” “Candyman,” and “Jump to the Rhythm” all dropping in the first few weeks, but 2017′s been doin’ better as of late, thanks to two weeks where 2007 didn’t... it didn’t really do anything. 2017: 12 2007: 11 And that’s all the difference! 2007 crushed it this week, which is good, because the next few weeks look pretty bleak for ol’ 2007y. Good opportunity for 2017 to create some separation in this fake competition between two entities that have no sentience as they are arbitrarily determined measurements of time and not actual things. See y’all after seven sunsets.

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