#absolutely WHACK

[boxwinebaddie]

stas laying awake at night thinking ab women in a cold sweat is the lesbian girl failure rep we NEEDED thank you sm

you are So welcome, my love! as a sapphic girl failure, i gotta rep the Girlies, what can i say? shadahsdsk but literally she is Pathetic! i am dying like men come in the tavern and she's like get back demon but any woman comes in and she's Bewitched askhdlsad. like pouring mulled wine into a tankard & staring so hard she overfills the Fuck out of it and it's spillin all over the counter so she's like aaaaa fuck!!!

and then tries to fix it but Knocks The Whole Bottle over and is like AAAAA FUCK X2 and doesnt have a rag so she's literally using her dress and so its all Red and stained now smh and the lady comes up and is like Are You Quite Alright? and shes like ofc! why wouldn't i be?

then slips on the wine on the floor n knocks herself out.

A MESS!!! A GAY DISASTER!!! she does have crazy Down Bad dreams but also has really weird out of focus ones? its the same one every night of an elf girl w/ green eyes & ginger hair...which, For Context...

its because when she was really little, kylie wandered past the palace walls bc i think something she was playing with got lost in the woods and this Big Animal ambushed her & she was abt to get Gored by it ( i think it was some sort of fantasy bear creature...she was also Friendly!! tyvm! and protecting her cub! ) tldr; stas jumped in front of her and got hurt, but SANG to this HUGE bear and it Immediately Relaxed -- stas pet her behind the ear n everything. :) she also was not phased at all abt bein slashed even tho she was Fucked Up. kylie stood there mesmerized bc what the fuck? this girl was legit Bleedin and…comforting the bear creature?

like Fear Not, Friend; You Are Safe. <3 ;-;;;;;;;;;;

kylie was shoooook oh my god bc stas just saved her life. i think they were trying to communicate but kylie was speaking in her crazy elvish mother tongue and stas was speaking english. idk if they tried to exchange names or not i think stas wrote anastasia in the dirt and kylie drew a bunch of symbols. also fun fact stas can write her name but sheeee...is a woman so she cannot read or write...like at all. i think kylie does teach her l8r bc she had to learn like Every language tbh.

anyways, i want to say kylie used magic and Healed her? aaaaaaaaaa insane!! stas said the medieval version of the stan Wowza, lmaooo. i also think stas showed kylie how to get out by drawing a crude map in the dirt which helped her escape completely unscathed. she was still all dirty/bloody but Alive and was at edge of the forest when the guards finally located n siezed her.

she got a looooot of shit for it btw. gerald was Mad like what in Hells happened??? why are you Bathed in BLOOD? are you hurt, seldë?!! she was like nay!! i was nearly KILLED by a Werebear!! but at the last moment i was saved by...a girl. A Human! she had eyes the color of daylight & hair black as night. Netya. and looked abt the same span as me. i feared she would succumb to blood loss so i sealed her wounds with Athae. ky knowing stas was a girl is v cute to me. and gerald was like...ur telling me a GIRL hath slain the beast?! A Human Girl? of a mere eight sun cycles?!

( idk i'm still figuring out the lingo ) & ky was like She Did NOT Slay It Atar! she was wielding naught but a wooden sword! then...she…Threw Her Voice? it was some strange Sorcery! yet the sweet melody hath Soothed the creature! the girl, saas, used her stick to draw a wayfind in the earth. it gave me safe passage out of the forest. i owe her my life. and ger said…so this vile creature lives yet? but ky was like!!! she was not a Vile Creature! she was kind! just startled!! promise me you will not harm her! & ger was like Ofc…then they killed her the next day & orphaned the cub. :(

stas wept & raised it, btw. she a fkn disney princess.

anyways...very gay thoughts about the pretty elvish girl whose life she saved but also saved her life — a life for a life tbh — screaming. im not sure if she knows its kylie.

-uncle nina, being really feral and insane abt the tkak lore

[beansnpeets]

I did say, when I left my last job, that I'd give them 6 months after I leave.

They just announced their "retirement" sale. They're closing. It's only been like 3 months. I'm so so so glad I got out of there when I did. I'm soooooooo relieved. I'm not surprised, either. I knew that place was on its way out basically right after I started there last fall.

[dracolizardlars]

It's so bizarre finding out or being reminded of my aunt / uncle's and cousin's middle names

[087710]

"he is a leader in our locker room"

and geno isn't?

[scaredofmyocs]

I just looked through my drafts and lmao it's mentally ill in there

[onceuponaprettyhedawolf]

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr. That's fucking whack 😂

[currentlyonstandbi]

holy shite you guys 🥺😭

[empty1ns1d3]

dazai's bisexual in the way he likes to rizz up women and get manhandled by men

[ventique18]

I suddenly thought of a continuation for this comic.

- Clingy dragon whack shenanigans -

On the fourth day of the first years' field trip...

🐉: "It has been four days... Four whole days and nights and I haven't glimpsed hair nor hide of 🌸.

🦇: "Of course. The first years will be away for an entire week."

🐉: "An entire week..!"

🗡️: "It's alright, my liege. They do say that distance makes the heart grow fonder."

🐉: "Did you know that dragon fae die from loneliness... Grandmother told me that she nearly took her own life when my grandfather passed, but she held on because of father. And eventually me."

🐉, falling on his knees to the floor: "But how about myself? I do not have children to anchor me! How can I live on without my spouse!"

🦇: "Malleus, you do not have a spouse."

🐉: "Souls fated to be together need no ceremony to prove their love!"

🦇: "Goodness..."

🐉, dramatically lying on the floor: "And I shall rot away and rejoin the earth where I came from..!"

🦇: "You came from your mother's womb--"

🗡️: "Father! Lord Malleus isn't breathing!!"

🦇: "Malleus, stop holding your breath like a child--"

🗡️: "His face is turning blue! I'll perform CPR!"

🐉: "No! No one shall revive me but my one true love!"

🗡️: "What should I do, father? 🌸 is miles away! Perhaps I could use a transformation potion--"

🐉, rolling away from Silver: "Away with you! You cannot fool me!"

🦇: "If you do not stop this farce, I WILL tell Queen Maleficia about this!"

🐉: "..."

🐉, quickly standing up: "Hm. Suddenly the air feels quite fresh. It seems your concern worked wonders. You have my thanks, Silver."

[clownsuu]

Hi! I have a question, do you have TikTok? If so, is this you?

LMAOOOO dam iv been called out- yeah that's me, liking every single howdy content i see bxbHDHDHDHDJ

[tennessoui]

tbh i love writing a more perfect union quinlan vos he wants so hard to find this situation humorous but anakin is so thick that he is very close to wringing his damn neck like so:

Vos is lounging up against the door of his speeder when Anakin makes it out of the living area of Padmé’s apartments. The manufactured Coruscanti breeze stirs the long lines of his clothes, carrying away the thin smoke of the deathstick he’s got caught between his fingers.

Anakin’s scowl is automatic. “Obi-Wan doesn’t like it when people smoke those.”

Vos drops his hand from his mouth and gives Anaki a sardonic smirk. “Have you considered that some of us do not govern our lives based on what Obi-Wan Kenobi likes or dislikes?”

Anakin’s scowl deepens. “Well. They’re also bad for you.” “Speaking of,” Vos says, nodding to the cloak clutched in Anakin’s hands. “That took less time than I thought. Your little marriage issue solve itself?”

“What? No.” Anakin thinks maybe he should warn Vos away from standing too close to the edges of landing pads while being an antagonistic asshole. That’s also bad for oneself. “What do you mean.”

Vos rolls his eyes like he isn’t twenty years older than Anakin. “Are you divorced, Skywalker? Realized you’ve been panting after the wrong person? Realized you’ve been sleeping in the wrong bed?”

Anakin’s back straightens and his grip tightens on his master’s cloak. “What? No! I’m not—she wasn’t serious about that.”

Vos has the nerve to look unconvinced, even slightly amused, as if he knows Anakin’s wife better than Anakin does.

“She wasn’t,” Anakin snaps. “We’re not getting divorced—and it’s–it was out of line for Obi-Wan to even suggest!” His anger is roaring back into focus, and Vos is a much better target than some poor caterer. “Even if he is upset because of the Council’s misunderstanding, we both share the guilt in that, don’t we? They’d never think we were together if he didn’t—if he wasn’t—” The amusement slides off Vos’ face, and he drops the remainder of his death stick to the ground, stamping it out with the sole of his boot. “No, Skywalker,” he says, and his voice is quiet, but almost dangerous. “You don’t get to blame my best friend for you being such a shit husband that people don’t believe that you’re in love with your wife.”

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I switched to from Ibis to Autodesk Sketchbook for the funsies, so have some Felix sketches I did there

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back

it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it

[flashhwing]

amazing how quickly Fenris dialogue brings you from “shut the fuck up about mages” to “fuck YES eat his heart out baby” back to “man we get it you hate magic”

[crookedfandomquill]

First year of college I went off birth control and discovered the music of Hozier in the same week. To this day I have no idea which was more responsible for making me horny for the first time in my life.

[mercuriallily]

I promise I'll do the Barbie mugshot meme soon, but in the meantime have this instead