#absolutely love her music i don’t care what ppl say

[wormswurld]

if saltburn took place modern day you can’t TELL ME ms. olivia rodrigo wouldn’t be on the soundtrack SORRY ABT IT 🤭

[sevenpoyo]

school headcanons for because i only got 3 more weeks

margo’s is so long even tho she got like 2 minutes of screen time bc i love her so much and she’s my gf

Margo Kess, 1610Miles, 42Miles, Gwen Stacy, Pavitr Prabhakar

margo kess / spiderbyte

ain’t shorty on zoom in the movie?

my girl dont attend class, she once shut down the entire blocks power so she would have an excuse to not be in class

eats in class all class everyday, only shares with you

takes really good notes and never studies them

like???? ma’am??? share???

all her electives are programming related and she pretends to busy while playing centipede all day

sends you 50 links to stuff you might like while ur in math

she got papers that let her opt out of gym

no matter how much you beg ur gonna be alone in gym and she doesn’t feel bad about it

popular with no friends type

like everyday 50 ppl stop you both and say hi

she only knows like 5 of their names she can’t stand half of them niggas

empty ass backpack like she got one notebook and one binder

all a’s and b’s like bitch how

her memory is absolutely ass but she can remember every story you told her or stuff that happened when y’all hang out

don’t ask her what she did in her class

don’t ask her if her class also has a history test

she don’t know

she don’t care

but she do know that when you were 8 your cousin burned ur thigh while y’all were playing iron vs knife fight

(u were dumb as hell for picking knife everyone knows iron always wins)

i looked it up on her word everybody uses those virtual avatars

she’ll shit on your class choices so damn hard

she just likes making fun of your choices fr

like half of ur conversation go;

damn i’m tired

u was up doing stupid shit last night you don’t get to complain

stfu that’s why ur a bitmoji

that’s why ur granny beat ur ass for something your brother did when you were 9

i hate telling u shit

then stop telling me shit

(i have no clue how accurate this is to her character but i need to write about her i’m in love but damn it’s long)

1610 miles / spider-man 2 lmao

book bag full locker full but never has a pencil

writes notes assignments and homework in paint pen ink don’t ask this nigga for notes

(he gets nigga treatment but not my queen margo bc i got favorites)

he miss mad classes but somehow still solid attendance record???

somehow always present in the record he miss 40 days and get caught on like 6 of them

unless his mom make breakfast and lunch on her day off for him he eating the most random shit from the bodega closest to visions

like what do you mean you got a cosmic brownie and a cold chopped cheese from last night ? it’s literally 7 in the morning no i don’t want none

makes you hype him up every time he slap boxes people and he’s so ass at it

he be ashy with no lotion atleast 5 times every month it’s embarrassing

he calls visions his white people school to his parents and his friends

once he said it to gwen and they sat in literal complete silence for like 10 minutes

prolly took music theory because he thought it would be easy and switched out of that shit so fast

i’d be so mean to him for enjoying physics

like this nigga trying to make something of him self

lil einstein ass nigga

he understands color theory but can’t explain it

12 half full sketchbooks but at school he literally draw on computer paper he don’t let the sketch book leave his bag

i know he’s ass at watercolor, he always spills shit, the colors always end up brown

try’s to be interested in your class choices bc he wants to know stuff he can talk about with you

when you first meet he can’t take meaner jokes bc he thinks that you mean them

but one day he’s gets comfortable, and brutal

no one in your life is safe when he looses a video game

except your mom

rio taught him better than that

42 miles / the prowler

comes to school with no school related supplies in his bag unless you count art stuff

finds a pencil on his way to class

has a change of clothes, rat tail comb, 3 bottles of water, a camera, a flashlight, lotion and cocoa butter.

like bro ur going to Ap Art not a camping trip

once he pulled out a griddle and and pancake mix and y’all started making pancakes in class

forgets his metro pass every day and gets so pissed ab it

runs into people in the hallway bc he’s never paying attention

idk if he goes to visions but if he does he calls it his white people school with his full chest to anybody even if they’re white

he be leaving halfway through the day all the time like bro you miss algebra 2 every damn day

uncle arron always talking him out of school with some bullshit reason

bro’s had his tonsils out 8 times on the school’s records

He will get ur parents to put his uncle on ur pickup list and you will be out of there with him

he will YELL if someone step on his shoes no matter what the situation like the school could be on fire and he fighting in the burning building

also his uniform is so pristine

his pants stiff

that button down is bleached ironed pressed and allat

this mfer is an online shopping addict u just know he be on amazon in class

will offer you the weirdest food combos like no i don’t want to put tajin mangoes on my beef patty i’m sick of you nigga

not school related but he’s super good with kids (both miles fr) but he’s the #1 little cousin defender and apologists

he ride for them always one of ur little cousins could sucker punch u and he be like

‘they just want u to play with them’

he takes a preforming arts class for fun prolly

loves sports but doesn’t play one understands the stats well and would help if you played one

wakes up at the asscrack of dawn on weekends

SICK ASS COSTUME FOR HOLLOWEEN IK THIS NIGGA LOVE HOLLOWEEN

plans costumes for school spirit weeks but always checks to seen if he’s gonna be the only one wearing a costume for it

never eats lunch unless his mom makes it he be hungry all day and be complaining

his socks are never in uniform (yes some uniform schools have sock rules)

gwen stacy / spider woman / ghost spider

idk what to call her

she has every snack you could ever want in her lunch bag

hates her music theory teacher

she literally has the most pristine locker with a calendar and a mirror and all that shit will write down test for you and important dates for the both of you

goes to school plays and shits on the story, like she ain’t pay 5 dollars to be there

some of her teachers hate her

like ma’am ur beefing with a whole 16 year old rn

she hate english teachers but love creative writing teachers

she keeps all her books in her locker never brings them home never brings them to class

always comes through with an extra pad no matter what

she also always has hand sanitizer

in like 4 extracurricular after school things and complains so bad

ur starting to hate that shit to ur sick of hearing it like girl quit then

10/10 cameraman she has every fight and every drama in 10khd and she will share them if you ask

she chews her pens and nails

has her drumsticks out always teachers have banned her from taking them to their classes

can watch tv on her phone but look focused you think she’s paying attention but then you look over and she’s watching good luck charlie

pavitr prabhakar / spider-man india

always late for class never in trouble

always eating and sharing food and never in trouble

how is he blessed like this? it ain’t fair

eats from the school vending machines or begs other ppl to share

will always have and share the homework answers no matter what he’s an angel

his sock always have holes in them like sir please get that shit together

gym try hard ik goes insane in football/soccer

very encouraging for shit u don’t wanna do he believes in you

you him and Gayatri talk so much shit but are somehow all well liked

he tells you what teachers are dating (he can just tell)

he has toothpaste in his bag for some reason?? i can just feel this one

his aunt will let you come over after school she’s so sweet to you.

always got a job at school assemblies

he’s reading poems or shaking hand or leading in the school pledge or something

Pav’s is short because i have no fucking clue if school in India is different form america and Barbados

[cherienymphe]

Not in the sense of talent or anything but more so that she's 34 and her musical competitor is Olivia Rodrigo 🧍🏾‍♀️ I for the life of me cannot understand how people got it into their heads that it's Beyoncé when they are catering to two different demographics. More often than not, people who listen to beyonce like that are not listening to Taylor and vice versa. It's more likely to be Olivia Rodrigo because Olivia and Taylor are catering to the same demographic and are making the same kind of music

The thing is that even Taylor knows Olivia is her main competitor 😭 she wouldn’t have sued her for deja vu otherwise. And so many ppl try to say that Olivia’s team gave her credits but I don’t buy it. Taylor (or her team, it doesn’t rlly matter) absolutely asked for them. Like the proof that they have beef is literally right there 💀 she and conan were used to promote fearless tv and then a year-and-a-half later when Conan was asked if he had listened to midnights he said he “hadn’t gotten around to it.” People want to use the excuse that Olivia is trying to form her own brand and distance herself from the mega Swiftie she was acting like in the beginning of her career when their lack of interaction at awards shows is brought up. Also don’t even get me started on the fact that Taylor asked Olivia’s best friend and her boyfriend’s ex to open for her on tour 😭 it obviously wasn’t done with the intention of hurting Olivia but it had to have been tough to see that as a lifelong fan

Idk if you saw the tiktok from that one Canadian marketing graduate but he basically made a video about why Taylor’s brand isn’t gonna be sustainable forever. Not expecting you to watch it because it’s nine minutes long but I’m just gonna put it here anyways:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLFpn3eQ/

At the beginning of the video he brings up the two categories of pop stars which are 1. The untouchables and 2. The relatables. Taylor falls under the second category meanwhile Beyoncé falls under the first which is just one of the many reasons she is far from being Taylor’s competitor.

Also ppl getting upset that Olivia’s concert isn’t suitable for kids unlike Taylor’s is sending me. Like what did u expect? Olivia is twenty-one years old and not only that but did u not listen to the album before taking your kid to her concert? It’s so obviously too mature for children 💀 she’s had this stereotype since sour came out that she’s for thirteen year olds and that just couldn’t be farther from the truth. Also idk if Taylor’s concerts bring suitable for kids is necessarily a flex on Taylor’s part…

When you remember that Adele is only one year older than Taylor it kinda puts things into perspective… their music is just so different and I’m not talking abt the sound. It’s the maturity aspect of it

The thing about the untouchable vs the relatable is very true. Love her or hate her, Beyoncé definitely has gained this divine like aura over the years. People don't even care about being able to relate to beyonce. She's quite literally worshipped it's insane 😭 whereas Taylor does push this narrative of her being just like the other girls who deal with all the things you do and she's like your best friend who understands you and she wrote this specifically for you

I'm not too versed in the Olivia and Taylor "beef" but I did catch wind of it and I will say it has to suck to basically have a "never meet your idols" moment. As for their shows, Olivia's not being as kid appropriate checks out. Yes I do think both makes music for teenagers and young adults but Olivia's very much gives female rage and teenage angst and not caring about being the dutiful daughter but instead just letting your emotions go wild and not letting yourself be controlled. To me her music is like a teenager who is angry about being a teenager and dealing with teenage bullshit and teenage heartbreak. That makes sense to me because she's 20 and literally living it/just lived it.

And yes ever since someone pointed out the age difference between Taylor and Adele (or lack thereof) it blew my mind 🧍🏾‍♀️the gap in their music could not be more stark

[loveisbraveandwild]

I gotta say I don’t love the man does something wrong so we all get mad at his gf? Like people were not this mad at MH literally a month ago but everything he’s said/done was public knowledge…. I’m not saying he’s a good guy and I don’t support him but getting mad at the woman in the situation more than the man actually doing the things feels icky

this is such a weird white take,,,, i absolutely hold people accountable for the people they choose to surround themselves with. like this isnt some trumpish uncle she cant walk away from at a christmas dinner, she’s literally making the choice every day to get into his bad. making this a weird white feminist issue to defend the fact that she’s actively defending a racist, homophobic, transphobic person by dating them is not icky. if my irl friend starts dating a racist that is an indicator to me that she does not care abt me and my identities enough. also to ur point to ppl not being mad, i wasnt mad because i dont give a fuck abt matty healy. i didnt know what he did because i wasnt paying attention because i dont like his music. taylor’s my role model and i chose to watch everything she does, i am mad at matty but the thing is i dont have a standard for matty. i hold taylor is a standard because she’s proven to me that she can handle it and expects it. this is a taylor swift blog so i have opinions on her and her actions.

[n04hfiction]

hello👋🏻! hru? i have a request for the shipping post. Before we start I have a preference for quackity/foolish/karl! so something to keep in mind.

My name is nanis and i go by she/her and I am mexican/salvadoran but i was born here in the US. My first language is spanish:>. Speaking of languages , Ik 4 languages! ASL, spanish, english, and japanese :)! I am the most fluent in spanish and ASL tho. I am the youngest out of my family. I have 1 sister and 1 brother.

My appearance : I have straight black hair thats somewhat in the middle of my back. I have pale skin And bangs that are kinda slipt in the middle (idk). I have brown eyes and I wear glasses once in a while but I usually wear contacts. I have rosey cheek too :). I have a koi fish tattoo on my hand too.

My personality : I am a pisces and an entp :]. I would say I do talk a lot and I am more extroverted. But i zone out a lot. And sometimes ppl think i being rude/ignoring them but i am just in my own thoughts😭. My brother says that I am mentally strong ,caring, passionate and i have tough love.

My style: I would say like korean street fashion 🤷‍♀️ i wear a lot of blacks,grays,whites and for a pop of color blue/green. I wear beanies when it’s cold. At my house , you’ll find me in a tanktop , shorts/sweatpants and some nike flip flops i stole from my brother. My makeup , i wear winged eyeliner , blush , and a lipgloss 😭 (i am basic , ok?) I wear gold chunky hoops and gold rings too 👍🏻

My hobbies : MUSIC!MUSIC!MUSIC! one if my favorite pass times <3 u will usually find my with headphones!! I am usually never in my house ajaja! I am usually at my friends house or doing stuff for my mom (like getting medicine) I do like taking car drives !! Theyre fun<3. 2 of my closes friends live in texas so I am usually texting them and calling them 😭.

hellooooo, i ship you with karl!! (just a btw for anyone else in the future, i don’t write for foolish, just cuz idk him as well! :)) also you literally sound so cool what 😭

ultimate golden retriever duo. you guys bounce off the wall 24/7 and love to cause chaos xD you both also love making your friends third wheel for the fucks of it, i can just imagine sapnap being like “why am i here if i’m just gonna watch you two kiss?”

he also lowkey loves it when you zone out because it looks like you’re giving him literal heart eyes and he’ll just make the loudest “EEEEEEE!!” sound because he thinks it’s adorable and that’ll snap you out of your trance and your like “huh?”

y’all also love to trade rings, karl ends up stealing like half of yours and your just like “dude wtf?-” xD

and in terms of headphones he thinks you look absolutely adorable w em. if you have the earbud kind he loves to share them with you. but if you have the bigger more circular ones (no clue the actual name for em-) he loves to custom paint them and gift them to you <3

he also is constantly tracing and kissing your tattoo, he thinks it’s lovely (like uuu)

i can also see him getting along with your siblings really well, but because you were the youngest he was fucking terrified when he first met them xD

[superfluouskeys]

need to rant about 6.2 a bit lol sorry not sorry

I’m just like………..soooooo bored by the main plot unfortunately LOL.  And I don’t like Vrtra/Varshahn at all like I find his character extremely weird and annoying at all times.  I think mainly the whole child oc/little brother thing freaks me out LOL like wtf is that he is thousands of years old stop that.  But I was also very bored by his whole plotline in Endwalker and thought it was one of the weaker parts overall, so it might just not be to my taste.  I think it’s a pretty random reason to get them to the Thirteenth also lol but whatever it could work, ff14 isn’t good bc the plots are original it’s good bc of the execution of those concepts so I guess I’ll try to reserve judgment.

Y’shtola’s line delivery drives me insane, I feel this way about every character that va plays, idk what it is.  It’s so forced and unnatural to me and it ruins entire moments sometimes.  I also don’t think they know what to do with the character, like she has all the pieces of an interesting character and they just never DO anything.  Let something mildly interesting happen to Y’shtola for ONCE I stg.

I really like Zero, she has the makings of a very interesting character who is sort of outside the bounds of what they usually do esp with female characters.  BUT I think the way they dealt with residual questions about Zenos’s fate/motives was very ham-fisted and bad.  Ik a lot of people think Zenos is boring but I am not one of those ppl lol—I do like Zero and I’m not saying like Zenos should have been in her place in the story, but I think it just really reminded me how much potential Zenos had and how many really interesting and meaningful moments we could have had w his character even if he still didn’t survive Endwalker.  (I’ve heard rumors that EDW was supposed to be two expansions, which seems extremely likely with how rushed and messy a lot of it felt).

Also like look. Listen.  I try to be mindful of my personal biases but oh my GOD.  WHY wasn’t G’raha in this patch lol.  We went to the THIRTEENTH.  They played the got damn CRYSTAL TOWER RAID MUSIC MULTIPLE TIMES. Cid and Nero showed up and specifically said well haha I was at the Crystal Tower I had to see what this was all about!!!!!  also with the parallels to the situation in the first?????????  Where is the cat!!!!!!!!!  It was like almost comical that he wasn’t there or mentioned at all.  Ig he’s busy or wtf ever but who cares!!!!!  That cat man came here to have adventures not do paperwork!!!!!!!!!!!

This goes to disliking Varshahn but it’s also relevant here LOL because number ONE what the FUCK was that whole here is an adult body thing LOLLLLLLLLLLLL like WHAT that was so weird, but then it turns out that’s what??? just for battle???? and then he slips back into his child skin when he gets home????????  it’s so weird I hate it lol.  But also SCREAMING at how they had to make him a viable tank and force Y’shtola to pick up healing again (it says sorceress or w/e but she still has the conjurer icon LOL, choosing to believe she never equipped her job stone and does not intend to start now)—and I am just SAYING I know of a CAT MAN who is already an all rounder so you know we could have just asked him!!!!!!!!!

There were parts of the patch I really enjoyed—I liked the Thirteenth lore a lot, I LOVED barbariccia as evidenced by briefly going insane on here lol, I’m really hopeful that Zero will continue to have good content, and of course FFXIV music absolutely never fails to SEND ME into a higher plane of existence.

But overall I did find it really frustrating and a lot of it was not especially fun LOL.  I was considering waiting until 6.3 was out bc I kind of suspected I would feel this way and wanted a little more game to play BUT idk when 6.3 will be out and I might be back in school already by then so I decided to just give in.

Anyway, just needed to rant, as you were.

[jentlemahae]

(hi it’s fashion anon from last week, sorry for the long ask again) fashion and music go hand in hand so i’m tired of people dismissing it. lots of people make good music but amazing styling makes you stand out from the rest so making fashion connections is important as it can help you rise to the top. zendaya herself said that she used to just show up to random red carpets dressed really well so she would be on every best dressed list to get her name out there which led to casting directors noticing her.

yes, being an ambassador doesn’t automatically mean you have good style. but in fashion circles bp are known for their style. they’re not talking about other idols the way they do bp (esp jennie). they have global fashion campaigns, they’re on magazine covers across 4 continents. they’ve got deals in 3 sectors (fashion beauty jewelry). they’re here to stay.

the issue isn’t that other idols are in fashion now. being upset about that is so trivial and dumb. we should want success for idols bc they work so hard. the issue is that people have been dragging bp for years for working in fashion but are now celebrating when their favs do. antis have been saying “bp only have impact in fashion not music 🤪” then getting angry when knetz (rightfully) praise their impact in fashion and dismissing it. pick a narrative and stick to it. stans won’t allow bp to be praised for anything.

again, bp aren’t the first ever but they’re the first group to have every member works with a separate brand. and they’ve had huge impact and now brands want to try to replicate that with other idols. it’s not that deep. give credit where it’s due.

another issue is *** fans are obsessed with being number 1 at everything. they’re already turning it into “who did dior want more”. jisoo had an entire collection and lipstick shades inspired by her. dior love her, she’s gonna be just fine. so ***** also being at dior changes nothing. they’re both gonna be successful and they both deserve to be.

not everything has to be a competition all the time. like lisa and * at celine. they brought in a huge crowd at pfw. lisa called him oppa and they partied together after. they’re clearly friendly w each other. but dumb twt stans just argued over who brought in the crowd and who’s more influential. maybe it doesn’t fucking matter. they don’t care and neither should anyone else.

i’m happy that *** are working with the brands that suit them and i genuinely hope they do really well. but these petty fights over who’s more successful are boring, immature and embarrassing.

ohh absolutely agree with everything! fashion can be a powerful tool to use to get ur name out there but honestly i think it's trickier to master than what most ppl believe, and the pinks are all great at it! and i think mostly thanks to their personal style, bcs they haven’t been exactly blessed with great stylists lol :) the pinks have had a massive impact on the intertwinement of kpop with luxury fashion, and i think everyone knows that but not all like to admit it :] some stans are adamant about turning everything into a competition and always want their own faves to come out on top so they won't ever give bp their due credit but what can u do 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s so frustrating but honestly i don’t think those ppl will listen to reason any time soon :| i wish the best to *** with their new fashion endeavours but i wish these fights would stop bcs it’s veeeeeery annoying and embarrassing

[n3onguts]

goodbye, dignity. | kim taehyung and min yoongi

summary — there are rules to follow when you’re having casual sex, but it seems you plan on breaking all of them.

pairing — kim taehyung x f!reader; min yoongi x f!reader

genre&tags — college au, fwb au, angst!!!, bts are frat bros, y/n is emotionally-guarded (i think she’s a bad bitch, but others might call her cold), taehyung’s in denial because of course he is, yoongi’s dressed as killua from hxh so naturally he’s an agent of chaos even if he doesn’t mean to be, and also everybody’s sex-positive! yay! but terrified of commitment whoops

warning(s) — 18+, implied smut, heavy alcohol consumption (please be aware of your tolerance, guys!! always drink responsibly)

w.c. — almost 5k

a/n — if u want ur friends w/ benefits situation to work, absolutely do not do what these people do. i might make this a series if enough ppl want but for now the ending is what it is! also i keep finding myself writing more and more bts-related fics but what can we do, the muse works in ~mysterious~ ways 🤷🏻‍♀️ love u very much, enjoy as always and leave feedback in the replies

They say it takes an average of 2 months to form a habit — 66 days, to be exact.

When you think about your routine, think about the trivial things you fill your days with, the actions that become automatic after so much repetition and next steps that seem natural because you’ve done them before, you realize that, without you even noticing, Taehyung’s slot himself into it with relative ease.

You don’t have an exact answer for the when of it all, or the how, but you know he has, because when he texts you to ‘come over’ at 11:21 P.M., you don’t question it. You just think, might as well get this over with, the way you would for a morning class or a vaccination or a vodka shot. And you go over. And it’s always the same.

You’ll knock on his door, and when it opens, Taehyung’ll greet you with his warm, airy mouth clamping down on your impatient lips: no warning, no nothing. And once you’re tangled with him, clothes falling to the floor and limbs intertwining, the rest of it proceeds in chaotic order. Sometimes you’ll ride him like a demon, and sometimes he’ll drill into you like it’s his first time ever experiencing the miracle that is the female vagina. Normally, sheets will get pulled, but occasionally hair or muscles too. There’s also never any musical accompaniment to set the mood, just ragged breaths and the sound of wet skin slapping.

And when you two finish, you’ll crack a joke — something stupid and corny like, “Do you validate parking?” or “So… Do I just go out the same way I came in?” — and he’ll offer an obligatory laugh. You’ll stumble back into your jeans before daylight breaks and head out with such haste Taehyung sometimes wonders if you’re a mere figment of his imagination.

You like it this way. You get to brush over the niceties, ignore all the pleasantries, and never care if you look ugly or awkward or like someone who hasn’t showered in 3 days (hey, man, college is tough, no judgment), because Taehyung doesn’t mind, he just needs a body to cram and you need one to consume, so everybody wins.

Every now and again, he’ll do something off — kiss you like you’re a China plate or ask a too-personal question or suggest you stay even when he’s been ticked off your to-do list — but these are usually anomalies, outliers that you make clear to him are not things you’re interested in keeping a part of your routine.

There aren’t really any rules to this thing you two have, whatever it may be, but it’s never been necessary, because the singular condition for your relationship, saturating your every move, has always been definite for both parties: don’t take this seriously.

Thank God that it’s Taehyung whose dick you’ve been noncommittally bouncing on, since he’s probably the most easygoing man you’ve ever met. Where others might fall in love or get you to fall for them, he’s able to perfectly skirt the line between interested and detached.

It’s only an added bonus that he’s pretty, the kind of pretty that almost seems mundane after so much exposure and then boom one day it just hits you all over again.

Besides his address, his contact number, and the fact that he’s easygoing and pretty, you don’t know much else about him. And you’d prefer it to stay that way.

Oh, sure, you might catch glimpses of the personality behind the fine wall of meat, might form an impression from certain quirks he has (like the ‘emergency drawer’ filled only with apple-flavored juiceboxes and condoms, or the Squirtle plushie that sits in his gaming chair), but you never go past that. You wouldn’t allow yourself to. You’re not bothered by what he does outside the confines of your relationship, the vicinity of his room. If you were, an idea would start to form about what kind of person he was, and that would inevitably make you curious, and inevitably force you to investigate, and inevitably lead to a crush, and inevitably end with the shattering of your heart. It’s the natural progression of things.

So once or twice (or thrice, if you’re feeling extra frisky) a week, you set aside an hour from your day to ruin his bed and maybe your panties.

Like how you’ve just done moments ago.

You’re sitting at the foot of his bed, pulling your socks back on when he quips from behind you, “I should start charging you for all the laundry I end up having to do after your visits over here.”

“Oh, yeah?” You turn around to look at him, an absentminded smile tugging at your lips. “Well, I seem to lose a lot of lingerie whenever I visit, so either I can’t keep track of my own underwear or you're building a collection.”

He vibrates when he laughs, like he can’t contain all the happiness he has in his body. He raises his hands in surrender, “I plead the fifth.”

You hop off the bed, set to leave. Your hands are already on the doorknob when he clears his throat, preparing to speak.

“What’re your plans tomorrow?”

You feel yourself growing antsy. “Not sure. Why?”

“Well, the frat’s throwing a Halloween mixer tomorrow.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Joon put Jin and Hobi in charge of party-planning and they’re going all out. Jin’s hyped up on making all these themed drinks — I’m like 90% sure the one he calls ‘Paranormal Slime’ is literally a mix of plain Jell-O and 150-proof absinthe — and Hobi’s just happy he has an excuse to go ham at the craft store.”

“I’m familiar with the two.”

“Right. Yeah. So…”

You tilt your head. “So…”

“You should come by. It’ll be fun.”

He says it like it’s a casual invite, like he couldn’t care less whether you go or not, like it’s something he just thought of, like hey, why not, right? But you know better, know when people say something but mean something else, can tell the difference between actual apathy and practiced nonchalance.

The air in the room shifts. He’s banking on your answer. You suddenly become very aware of how his waiting gaze chains you to the ground.

When you sigh, his mask slips into disappointment — but only momentarily.

There are certain things you just don’t do when you’re having sex casually, and one of them is put in effort to see your fuckbuddy outside of the bedroom. Going out of one’s way to do anything implies care. And care, of course, implies romantic interest. And, as everyone knows, romantic interest spells out the end of casual sex. Once you leave the threshold of your little universe together, reality becomes unavoidable — it rams into you like a train.

But when you look at him, eyes betraying his feigned disinterest by practically oozing out hope, you can’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t.

So you say yes. “Okay. I’ll go.”

His face contorts when he tries to tamp down his grin. You want to laugh at how smug he looks.

“Awesome. I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow, then? In costume?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Think I might go as the Joker. How about you?”

You shoot him a smirk, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, huh?”

It’s almost 10 P.M. and you’re still not here.

Taehyung refuses to admit that he’s been counting down the minutes until you arrive — not to Jimin (who offered him a sympathetic shake of his head and a Smirnoff shot at 9:30 when Taehyung asked if he had seen you around), and definitely not to himself.

He keeps catching himself searching each room he finds himself in, wading through seas of sweaty bodies and scanning faces cast in harsh neon lighting. For what? Taehyung hasn’t figured that out yet.

He’s on his fourth lap of the entire party when Jin thrusts a foreign red concoction into his hand. Taehyung gladly accepts (anything to dull the low thrum of disappointment boiling in his belly). ‘Drink’, he thinks Jin mouths — it’s hard to hear over the booming of whatever early-2000s club track Jungkook’s queued up — so he does. Shuts his eyes and downs it in one go like a goddamned macho would.

A pretty girl saddles up to him immediately after, and it makes sense. Alcohol and women go hand-in-hand for him. She’s decent-looking, not out-of-this-world, not you, but good enough for the night.

The girl (she introduced herself but Taehyung didn’t bother to listen) seems to know this dance well. She makes herself small — giggles at his jokes, leaves light touches in the right places, tucks her hair behind her ears all timid-like — so Taehyung can play predator. If he told her he’d fuck her right then and there, in this dark corner at some college party, he’s certain she’d comply, certain she’d give her all to him without a challenge.

You’re nothing like this girl, he thinks, because all you know how to do is take.

His timing’s terrible though, maybe the work of some gods above who are conspiring against him, because when he leans over the girl’s shoulder to whisper in her ear that his room’s right upstairs, he sees you. And when he does, his scope of the party instantly shrinks, blares red with alarm signals as it zones in on you and only you.

Looking unfairly like an angel.

A literal one, because that’s what you’re dressed as.

It’s a scene straight out of a movie: you, staring back at him from across the room. Mini white dress and little, long legs. The angel wings you're wearing make you glow, like there’s a permanent spotlight looming over you.

He half-expects you to amble over, but you don’t. Send a supportive thumbs-up is what you do instead.

Confusion must be plastered all over his face because you answer by gesturing towards the girl currently attached to his side (and who he almost forgot about). There’s a knowing smile on your lips.

In an alternate universe, maybe you would’ve cared enough to break the two apart. If you were a more fragile girl, someone a little looser with her heart, and Taehyung was the fuckboy you turned soft, then perhaps things might be different. Perhaps you’d cause a scene, flee crying and he’d have to run after you, give a whole monologue about what an asshole he is and what a mistake it was, that sort of thing. But you don’t break that easily and Taehyung’s no villain you’re meant to redeem — just a guy who likes pussy.

The girl keeps trying to climb him like he’s a set of monkey bars, and it’s starting to annoy him. It shouldn’t though, because she hasn’t really done anything, except not be you, which she can’t be blamed for.

The truth is: he’s happy you’re here. Glad that you showed up, kept your vow to, because, well, that’s gotta mean something, right?

And, yeah, he’s not surprised at how lax you were about seeing him with some random chick. That’s just the way you are. Ironclad with your words when you say no-strings-attached. Cheering him on like you’re his wingman and not covered in his hickeys under your clothes.

But he is disappointed. Just a little. Mostly with himself, though. Because even though you didn’t care, and even if there was no rational reason for him to, he still did. Still felt guilty when you saw him with her. Still wanted to regurgitate an instinctive ‘sorry’ and make you promises of monogamy he can’t keep.

He doesn’t know why.

Taehyung shakes his head in hopes that all these you-related thoughts might fly out as he does. It would do him good to declutter. Lord knows he’s been trying to rid his brain of you for a while now.

He looks back at the girl in his arms. She’s pouting, peeved that he hasn’t been awarding her the attention she so rightfully deserves.

She’s actually very pretty, he realizes, in a way that’s very clean and constructed. He’s had one-night stands with lots of girls less glossy and put-together than her.

He shouts over the music, “What’s your name again?”

“Sana!” She shouts back.

On the other side of the room, you melt into the crowd, back turned as you glide through it. He watches your wings disappear under the hallway arch and into the distance. He commands his feet, ‘stay’, but they follow you anyway.

“Um— Fuck— I have to— I need to—”

Taehyung pushes a bewildered Sana off. He’s at least nice enough to look sheepish. “I’m really sorry.” He gets out as he rushes away.

He bowls through masses, looking for you. A repeat of earlier, but now with intent. He spends hours entering dark rooms and exiting them, again and again and again until the party’s worn out.

At 2 A.M., once all the people have dissipated, he bumps into a tipsy Jimin stacking empty solo cups in the kitchen and asks once more if he spotted your angel wings at all throughout the night, only to be met with the same pitiful response Taehyung got at the start of it.

Where could you have gone?

You’ve never been a fan of parties.

It’s not because you hate drinking — far from it. When the guy upstairs gives you a stomach made of steel and an appetite for anarchy, it makes it hard for you not to be a goddamned champion at it. You’re always first to win a drinking game and last to fall victim to the night when you go out clubbing.

And it’s also not because you haven’t been to any, because you’ve gone to your fair share since your freshman year. But it’s always the same ugly tableau. Humid rooms packed with raucous people. Dried vomit crystallizing on grimy bathroom floors. Boys getting sloppy-drunk and girls blacking out. You’re not one to judge, but it’s depressing to look at with near-sober eyes.

After a while, it gets monotonous. So you just stopped going completely, declining any and all invitations that came your way.

Up until last night, when Taehyung asked you to come and you agreed.

What the fuck possessed you to do that?

You were immediately greeted with a Dixie cup of green jelly (must be that ‘Paranormal Slime’ Taehyung told you about) from Jin — dressed like the Cheshire Cat, smile and all — upon entry.

“Haven’t seen you at one of these in a hot minute.” He comments as you accept the brew. He doesn’t appear to be wasted: trust Jin to be in charge of getting everyone plastered but not get plastered himself.

You give him a nonchalant shrug, “Not my thing. You know that.”

“I do.” Jin nods. He’s a year above you, a drama major — fitting, since he subsists on attention. He’s also the de facto host of the school’s podcasting show, originally supposed to be about school-related news but which he’s since revamped as him talking about whatever he damn well pleases for an hour every week. It does pretty well, and that’s how you met him as a freshman, when you signed up to be his sound mixer after his first one quit. “What brought you here then?”

“Nothing, really.” Your eyes flit around the room and Jin can already tell what you’re gearing up to ask. “Seen Tae around?” It comes out more eager than you meant it to.

“Uh…” Half the frat has already caught you barreling out of Taehyung’s room, still slipping on your shirt, so you know they all know, but Jin’s face grimaces like it hurts him to answer. “Think I spotted him in the living room.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

You brush past him, ready to be enveloped by the swarm of drunks littered near the entryway, but before you are, you feel Jin’s hand stop you in your tracks.

When you turn, he looks a little too nice, like a nurse readying to deliver a diagnosis. “He’s… preoccupied right now.”

You know what ‘preoccupied’ is code for: he’s with another girl.

“Ah. Right.” Your voice sounds hollow to your own ears, “Good for him.”

Jin doesn’t look convinced. “If it’s any consolation, he was looking for you earlier.”

“Seems like he found someone else, though.”

The laugh which comes out of you sounds bitter and fake, and you start to despise Taehyung for resigning you to this role — the girl who doesn’t know any better, the one who people feel bad for.

“Ew. Don’t give me that face.” You scrunch your nose. “Makes me feel ill.”

“I’m not making a face?”

“You are. You’re making a face like you want to say sorry.”

“Well—”

“And I swear to God, if you do, I’ll punch you.” You raise a balled-up fist to show him you mean business.

Jin tries for a smile, but it still has ‘apologetic’ written all over it. You’re now determined to get the fuck away from this guy.

“You’re cramping up my style.” You roll your eyes. “I’m going.”

You walk with purpose, but without an end destination. The crowd sticks together like honey, elbows and lips brushing against one another’s, so it takes lots of pushing and excuse me’s just to get to the next room.

It’s more of the same when you arrive: people chugging kegs-on-kegs-on-kegs and sucking face as if it’s a goddamned competition. The music is deafening, thumping like blood through the walls and floors. You spot a few people you recognize, but they’re too far gone to notice you.

And then you see him. Taehyung.

He’s in his Joker get-up, like he said he would be, and he looks distressingly handsome. Could-ruin-your-life-and-you’d-let-him handsome. He’s also with a girl, and she’s the kind of cute you could never be — shiny and basking in it. Stationed in his arms like that’s where she’s meant to be, and you wonder if you’ve ever looked like that next to him. Probably not.

It’s not that you’re jealous, because you’re not. You’re not miserable, and you don’t feel like sulking away. It’s just weird to see someone else wrapped around him the way you’re used to doing. Cements the fact that you’re not his one and only — not that you ever thought you were, but now you’ve been confronted with undeniable proof.

Thing is: you haven’t slept with anyone else besides him in two months. You dropped all your other options, and he climbed from his number 3 position on your list up to number 1. Not out of love, but out of convenience. He fucks you best and he’s the easiest to deal with — ready on demand to satisfy your needs.

So this is good, you think, makes it easier in the long run. It gives you the green light; you put all your eggs into one basket and now this is the go-ahead to get back to your old ways.

But your insides still feel odd and now you also feel out of place. There’s no reason for you to be here.

Taehyung’s noticed your presence and you’re having a hard time deciphering his reaction — across the room, in the shadows, you can almost make out a frown on his mouth. He probably didn’t expect you to come. Maybe you misread him last night and he really was just extending an invitation out of courtesy.

Either way, you know when you’re no longer needed. So you force your lips to quirk up and hope it passes for a smile.

Right about now is when you could use a smoke. From inside the house, the backyard looks promising, wide and lush and undisturbed by sloshed college students.

You’re ready to bail, but you hesitate before you do, pausing to take Taehyung and the girl in one last time. He’s still watching you with that nauseous expression on his face.

They look good together, you decide, picturesque.

It must’ve rained sometime during the night, because the air outside is fresh and cold —the result of nature's best cleansing agent, water.

The noise from inside is contained once you shut the porch door, and when you survey your surroundings, it seems like a place far removed from the one you’ve just left. Quiet, empty, still. Whatever knot was coiling in your belly disentangles itself when you breathe in.

“Am I dying?” A deep voice interrupts your meditative state.

There’s a boy sitting on the dark wooden steps. Yoongi. A glass of whiskey sits idle in his hands. He’s peering at you like you’re an illusion.

“What?”

“Aren’t you an angel?” He nods towards your wings. “Is it finally my time? Have you come to collect me?”

You snort. “Not sure you belong in Heaven, bud.”

He makes a face like you’ve stung him, but you both know it’s just for show. You're not particularly close to Yoongi: he's a year older, a senior like Jin. You know he’s Taehyung’s frat brother, have spotted him — at night, on your way out — in the kitchen making coffees, and you know he’s a music major (hence the late-night caffeine boosts), but that’s the extent of it. Regardless, you decide then and there that you don’t hate his company.

Crossing the porch, you claim the seat next to him.

“Careful.” He warns. “The wood’s wet.”

You shrug. “S’okay.”

Neither of you have much to say to each other, but the silence isn’t awful — quite comforting, actually. A reprieve from the emotional hellscape you were just in.

You take out a smoke hidden inside your bralette and fish around for a lighter but find none. “Aw, shit.” You mumble to yourself.

“What?”

“Forgot my lighter at home.”

Yoongi reaches into his back pocket and presents you with one, “Use mine.”

You accept gratefully, flicking the switch a few times to light your cig until you hear the satisfying hiss of burning ember. The red glow at the end of the stick shines bright when you take a drag, but dies out once you exhale.

Beside you, he’s staring at his drink, swirling the liquid inside the glass absentmindedly.

“Taehyung’s inside, I think.”

You sigh. You’re beginning to hate the association.

“I know. He’s busy, though.”

He doesn’t need you to expound. Yoongi hums in acknowledgment — so it’s clear he knows what ‘busy’ translates to — but he doesn’t offer you any sympathy, and for that, you’re thankful.

You take a good, long look at him. Messy silver hair. Loose white tee over a navy blue turtleneck. Plum-colored basketball shorts. “Who’re you supposed to be?”

He gives you a wicked grin, “You know Killua?”

“From HunterxHunter? Love that show.”

“Exactly. My hair was already dyed platinum so I realized this was the natural next step.”

“Huh. That’s pretty ingenious.”

“Well, that is what they call me — ingenious Min.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. He parts his mouth open to take a swig from his drink — unfurls his jaw like he wants the liquor to coat the entire surface of his tongue — and after he swallows, he licks his lips as though he’s trying to savour every last drop.

“Needed a breather?” He nods his head towards the bumping party inside the house, muffled by the walls.

You take another long drag before you respond, “Yeah. Not really a fan of parties in the first place.”

“I get that.” And you can sense that he really does, that you and him are alike in that way. “So why’d you come then? I mean— I live here so I don’t really have a choice, but you on the other hand…”

There’s something frigid and expectant about the look you give him, and he instantly understands.

“Oh. ‘Cause of him.”

It disgusts you to hear it out loud. “Ugh. Don’t say it like that. I sound desperate. Like I’m in love with him.”

He tilts his head, “I know you aren’t, but that’s the truth, isn’t it? He invited you and you’re here.”

“You’re making it a bigger deal than it is. He and I— We’re barely friends. Acquaintances, at best.”

“...Who fuck.” Yoongi deadpans.

You groan, put your head between your knees like you’re going to be sick. “Can we talk about something else?”

“No.” There’s a gentle knock on your shoulder. “You sure you don’t like him?”

“Very.”

His next words slide out of him with ease: “Good. ‘Cause my room’s just upstairs.”

You release yourself from your own hold, mouth agape in disbelief at the man sitting on your right. His composure remains the same — no shift in his expression to indicate that he just prompted you to fuck.

You stomp out your cigarette on the porch. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“But what about like — Jesus, I don’t know — bro code? Isn’t that a thing?”

He hums thoughtfully. “Are you his girlfriend?”

“No.” It makes you wince when you say it.

Yoongi raises his eyebrows like he’s made his case. You came outside for peace of mind and, in the blink of an eye, you’re being propositioned.

You're incredulous. “I can’t believe this.”

The image of Taehyung and that girl flashes in your head. He got with someone else, so what’s stopping you? There’s an intimidatingly pretty boy beside you and he’s straightforward and confrontational just the way you like it and he’s telling you he wants to sleep with you, so what’s stopping you?

“Believe it, woman.”

“You’re ridiculous. I don’t even know you.”

“You don’t need to know someone to have sex with them. You just need to think they’re hot.”

You almost want to laugh. “And you think I’m hot?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to hide a semi since you came out here and sat beside me.”

“Tempting. And you think I think you’re hot?”

“I don’t know. Do you?” His grin is an open invitation, and when you remain quiet, he already knows that you’ve accepted.

Goddamnit.

Yoongi tastes like whiskey and black coffee. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t hurry, is agonizingly slow just to torture you. He maps out your body with his mouth, leaves a burning trail wherever he goes.

You question your impulses when you see him deposit himself between your legs. You can rationalize this decision all you want — try to remain steadfast in your reckless selfishness, argue that you don’t belong to Taehyung and never have — but you know this can only end badly.

“Still thinking about him, huh?” Yoongi quips from below. The stream of moonlight from his window makes the sweat on his forehead glisten.

Too late, you realize, there’s no going back. He dives his tongue into you like it’s a promise, “Don’t worry. I’ll help you forget.”

Yoongi’s knocked out cold next to you when you wake up the following morning. The sunlight is blinding and you’re sore all over. There’s a bad taste in your mouth, like your spit has dried. When you started sleeping with Taehyung, you made it a rule never to spend a night at the frat.

You’re more careless now.

You slip on your dress — wrinkled after being bundled up and haphazardly thrown onto Yoongi’s floor — and grab your wings from his desk. As quietly as you can, not wanting to disturb his rest, you tiptoe out of the boy’s room, ready to leave.

When you turn to head for the stairs, you bump into Taehyung. He has a towel slung over his bare shoulder.

He rubs the exhaustion out of his eyes and blinks like he can’t believe it’s you. His brows furrow, “Y/N?”

“Hi.” You whisper breathlessly, hand rushing to pat down your matty hair.

“Where’d you go? I was looking for you last night.”

He scans your appearance just as your eyes instinctively dart towards the door you just closed.

“Why were you in—” Taehyung’s face turns blank. His voice suddenly sounds far away. “Oh.”

“Um. Yeah.” You’re in desperate need for a shower right now. “Look, I— I have to go.”

You reach to press a swift kiss on his cheek. The softness of your lips leave a ghost of feeling on his skin, but it’s fleeting. He’s become unresponsive. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

You don’t wait for a response.

[tiptapricot]

MK liveblog ep 2, Summon The Suit

The sudden pan up from sand FUCKS

The security footage scene is both so cute n sO embarrassing

Also I want JB n Steven to b bros they seem like they’d b rlly goofy n fun

“Larry in maintanence is going to absolutely shoot you”

MARC WALKING OUT ON THE TAPES WHAT A FUCKING SCENE

The Human Resources scene is rlly nice asmr

Steven having to give up his name n symbolically himself as he further journeys into his life falling apart makes me YELL

The guy at the storage locker place says he never forgets a face but isn’t put off by the accent, did Marc never talk to him?

Marc’s clothes being in the storage locker… gOd

Steven’s autistic interest blocking out any fear on a magical floating scarab

MARC STANDING INBTHE REFLECTION INBTHE LOCKER IS SO FUNNY

“Yeahr.”

“Idc how bloody handsome you are,” Steven that’s kinda gay :-/

Marc looks so worried n then Steven’s just like: lol you’re fuvking ridiculous lmao

Marc eyes on th gun

Khonshu walking down the hall w the lights is sO fucking creepy

The freeze frame my beloved💖

LAYLAAAAA

Layla’s intro is so good her character is like immediate

Layla don’t tap on the glass :-/

When Layla first sees the poetry book she probably thinks Marc was missing her but then Steven starts reciting a thing OiuhHhh

The music being soft n sweet but also unnerving n out of place

Marc’s already in the little door mirror in the background when the divorce papers come out lol

Layla baby I love you and you are so emotionally unstable this episode lmao

Also her jacket already kinda resembles the scarab stuff

Dialogue still hits clunky this ep idk why

This is why you never talk to cops Steven

Love that the Harrow goons that come after Steven r based off the Lemire orderlies

Steven head bonking on the car window for his life

Marc’s voice is so gentle but firm when he’s not angry, and he sounds so tired and I love him

Steven is just close to tears oh baby

Harrow stop touching him all caring like it’s creepy n I hate you

“KILL IM.”

“Wow beautiful 😌” (tomatoes)

God the cult is so…. Unnerving

Harrow as MK sounds so fucking creepy

The lil American man…

Confused and eating soup, the best way to be except in this case

Steven just slurpin soup n not listening. His lil “alright… 🤨” while he doesn’t listen to harrow n is so funny

“Gimmedabody”

I think you should actually kill Donna Steven. Get her ass.

Steven I love you so fucking much

“Then don’t”

Steven looks weird w his outer coat buttoned up

Layla walked into danger so confidently bc she was so used to always being able to trust Marc to b there n support her like breathing but Steven isn’t Marc n things r diff so they have to run

“Thatwasawesome”

Steven’s panic attack…. The overwhelm is done so well god being trapped between two ppl n the silence and the disorientation n Laylas distress n then her saying his name being what grounds him

The jackal hits on the door like a heartbeat

I love the mr knight suit being a real costume so bad the MCU has made me love cloth also it’s GORGEOUS

Marc ur accent ily

Layla seems so off her game this ep bc she’s being introduced to so much along w Steven n she doesn’t expect to fight monsters

ROLLIN UP HIS SLEEVES YEAH BABY YOU GO U ARE STEVEN W A VEE

Steven laying facedown in the middle of the street looks so goofy

“That was a hell of a punch back there” THIS SCENE MAKES ME BITE WOOD

MARCS MOON EYES AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HEAHHHHHH

oh I never realized bystanders actually got hurt in the background

THE CHASE SCENE MUSIC IM GONNA AHHHHHHHH

The vibes the vibes I’m I’m im normal

“Gotcha! >:-)”

Marc in Steven’s clothes looks so off

The way letting the suit off is like a release, like he can breathe

Then his paNIC

Harrow do u just judge that man to kill him for no reason I hate u

The shots of London r lovely

God Marc is so pathetic n tired n sad

SO THIS IS WHAT ITS LIKE BEING ON THE INSIDE YEAH ITS HORRIBLE ITS ALRIGHT YOURE ALRIGHT I FEEL LIKE INCAN SCARCELY MOVE ITS OK BREATHE THROUGH IT HOW LONG YOUVE B N DOUNG THIS I DUNNO LONG TIME I DONT LIKE IT I DONTBWANY IT

this scene is so

its so

its so

marc is still trying n his voyce is so fragile n steven is so angry n atbhis end point

oscar acts across fromnhimself so well

marcs growing anger n just just the arguneny n marc being so worn out and high strung

KHONSHUBI HATE UR BONY ASS LEAVE HIM ALONE

khonshu sounds so good in this scene tye VOICE ACTING HIS LAUGH

khonshu i hate you i hate you

Near and dear as she is to him indeed Jake lockley my beloved it’s what she deserves

STEVEN JN THE MIRROR THE LIGHTING THE WAY MARC IS TIRED N HAS TRASHED THE PLACE J LOOKS SO OUHGHHHUHHHHHNNN YELOW N ORANGE N THE MUSIC N YHE MUSIC N THE SWWELL N THE CURTAIN AHHHHHHH

I love the ending songs so much but this is probably one of my all time favs

Headbopping

The hallway flickers between Steven’s apartment, the storage locker hall, and the Duat asylum

[siriusmydeer]

Hi hi hi, First thing, I legit love your theme sm-

Second thing, I was wondering if I could maybe request a fic where Fred is best friends with a gryffindor fem!reader who try’s to stay in the shadows but he and George are basically her best friends who she loves with all her heart bc they treat her kindly and don’t try to over push her limits and Fred always try’s to check up on her every other night because he wants to make sure she doesn’t get too lonely (they have a really fluffy relationship) and time skip to him asking her to the Yule ball and then dancing with her in private where they can still hear the music but where ppl can’t see because he knows she doesn’t like crowds and idrk just fluffy and they end up kissing or smth

Anyway, have a good day and don’t feel pressured to do this okay! Drink some water and eat some food.

hi, darling!!! thank u so much for the request, also if anyone else has sent me a request i’ll be working on them this weekend. i hope this is what you wanted :))

not a yule ball

fred weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

summary: fred and you have your own yule ball.

warnings: food, mentions of loneliness, mentions of claustrophobia, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of alcohol, fred being a sweet heart, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF, mutual pining but freddie being a simp, a KISS, a light slap (like on the chest?), mentions of spiking drinks with alcohol and mentions of a panic attack

word count: 2.2k

“when are you gonna tell her, mate?” george said looking at his ginger twin. “tell who, what?” he said defensively, afraid that he had made his feelings to obvious. “are you forgetting we’re magical twins? i know everything.” george said smugly, smirking and looking back at his newest invention while fred went to lay on his four poster bed.

fred was about to defend himself, lying at the fact his twin caught him dreaming about his crush who also happened to be his bestfriend, besides george of course. “you can barely stomach the thought of her getting pranked, i know you better than yourself it’s not that hard to tell” his twin looked back to his him as fred grumbled something under his breath.

he was about to continue his plea to his fiery headed twin as you, you’re gorgeous locks framing your face, your perfect coloured irises looked for him first, the way your skin looked good in every shade of lighting and the way your figure made its way over to his sitting beside his laying figure.

“you alright, freddie? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” you said looking at the red head confused. his eyes widened before sitting up next to you. “yeah, you alright love? look a bit fidgety.” he said as you were wringing your fingers together and george smirked over to fred before getting up going to the common room.

“alright, i guess. for transfiguration mcgonagall partnered me with people i don’t really know so i have to meet them in the library soon. i dunno, it’s stupid m’just nervous” you mumbled, embarrassed before looking at him. he scooted closer to you and placing a hand on your arm.

“darling, if you want i can talk to her, i mean she favours us gryffindors and i can tell her i’ll lay off the pranks and stuff?” he said quickly before adding, “i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” he said in a sorrowful tone, rubbing his hand up and down your arm before pulling you into a hug. his hands rested on your waist as your arms winded their way around his neck and your head on his shoulder.

“no..no... m’fine i’ll just get over it, i have to go but i’ll see you and georgie later?” you said standing up, smoothing down your skirt and walking towards the door. “yeah?” “of course darling, i couldn’t leave you alone even if i wanted too.” and with that you were off to the library. a few seconds later the other mischievous twin apparated into the dorm and pouncing on fred’s bed.

“damn, didn’t know you were that whipped.” george added, with a laugh. “oh, bugger off!” the long haired ginger, yelled hitting george with a pillow.

later that evening fred couldn’t keep his mind off you, and your well being. he always knew that you tended to distance yourself, normally not on purpose but it was a habit that he always wanted to help you break. he knew like it was written on the back of his hand that large crowds made you nervous, he also knew that that when you were nervous you would pull on your favourite ring he made you for your birthday. you tended to like things homemade things rather than store bought, when you were nervous you would bounce your leg to the point where he would have to grab your leg to stop it.

he memorized every quirk, every indication of a mood change and he knew when things were good or bad. he didn’t think he was whipped, he thought this was what friends normally for other friends. that was until he saw you flip your hair a certain way, or loosen that gryffindor tie of yours and he absolutely wanted to kiss you senseless. he hadn’t told you, or george for that matter because he didn’t want to ruin the strong friendship you had built since second year when he helped you through a panic attack after snape had embarrassed you infront of the whole class.

‘maybe i should check on her... i don’t want to be to clingy?’ he thought to himself.

he opted to go to your dormitory, biding past the charm on the staircase and knocking on your door twice, an indication it was him before seeing you on your lay on your twin bed chipping away at your nail polish. “anything you wanna talk about?” he said before hopping on your bed sitting back on your headboard.

“it wasn’t bad, just frustrating.” you said looking into his brown irises through your dark eyelashes. “cormac kept speaking over me, he just kept interrupting and it was frustrating.” you mumbled before looking back at your fingernails.

“you had mclaggen in your group? absolutely not, i’m talking to mcgonagall.” he said, trying to stand up but not before you grabbed his hand pulling it back down. he got flustered at the completely innocent gesture, face flaring up, stomach getting tingly and his heart feeling like it could burst from his chest.

“you freddie, aren’t doing anything.” you sigh, “i’ll just work through it, it’s only a few days.” you giggled before adding, “plus if you’re coming to check on me, then i really don’t mind.” you say scrunching your nose in his direction before padding over to your desk to grab something.

if fred was flustered before, everything that had just occurred inside of his body exhilarated one hundred times harder. you WANTED him to come see you, and check on you. fred was of course, quite the flirt and he mostly new what to say to girls. but with a girl as gorgeous, and caring as you, you had him completely speechless.

“hey- you ate today right? drank water, took care of yourself? i know you forget sometimes, angel...” he said sheepishly fumbling with his ring-clad fingers looking at his lap. you smiled at his ability for care for someone, you of all people, “yeah... yeah, hermione brought me stuff.” you looked at him before grabbing a makeup wipe and looking in the mirror.

“i should- i should go me and george.... are working on a new prank, so i’m gonna go.” he said before walking to the door,

“see you tomorrow, freddie?”

“see you tomorrow, darling.”

the first bit of the semester quickly approached, the sooner you were to christmas, the sooner was... the yule ball. a ball with teenagers, dancing, fancy clothes and people trying to subtly drink alcohol... i mean who wouldn’t love it? you. you definitely did not love it. big sweaty crowds, with music you probably wouldn’t like, and drink spiking with god knows what liquor.

i mean as long as the clothes were ugly you definitely didn’t mind, and seeing fred in a suit was something you also definitely did not mind either but the claustrophobia of it all really made you want to lay in your bed and have a nice and long nap.

george’s reminders of fred’s pining definitely didn’t help either, fred wanted to go with you of course but he also knew that you definitely weren’t fond of big groups. so he had a brewing idea bubbling in that gorgeous mind of his, and the room of requirement. he had went to george with the idea hoping that it was a way to have a fun time in your own way, the more sensitive twin of the bunch agreed it was great idea.

after working on a 4ft scroll for potions, you were about to go find your 2 prankster bestfriends when you heard a double knock at the door and then the creak of it opening. you’re favourite fiery redhead walked in without his normal strut, and padded in nervously with his gaze strictly at the floor before sheepishly looking at you. “are you busy..?” he said before walking closer.

you set your quill down and look back at him and cock an eyebrow, “no...why?” you said nervously, hoping he wasn’t about to prank you considering he hadn’t since the beginning of term.

“i wanted to take you somewhere.., that’s if your not busy” he said interlocking his fingers together looking back at you. “no i’ve just done all my homework..” you stuck your hand out, “take me to the secret man cave where you test all your pranks on the innocent.” you said giggling while he interlocks your fingers together.

you guys roam around the castle till he guides you up the astronomy tower, the sky painted hues of red and orange.

“i’ve never looked at the view from up here...” you say flashing your irises towards him then back at the sunset. “yeah, it’s stunning.” he says, staring directly at your (BEAUTIFULLY CARVED) side profile, “oh yeah, the sunsets alright too” he said with a chuckle, untangling your fingers and brining his arm around your waist.

you look back at the lanky red head before lightly slapping your hand against his chest and looking up at him. “such a flirt, weasley.” you say looking back at the fading sky.

“go to the ball with me.”

“well that’s demanding.”

“well, get a pretty dress, do your hair all nice or don’t you look gorgeous at every moment of the day” fred wasn’t sure where this surge of gryffindor confidence came from, but he wasn’t exactly going to back down now.

“and don’t worry we’re not gonna be around sweaty, horny teenagers... i’ve got a surprise.” he says looking at you with smirk, oh he new you all too well.

“yeah freddie, i’ll go to a not yule ball with you”

then night was tonight, a pretty dress that excentuated every dip, curve and line of your body. you chose gryffindor red for house pride, even thought nobody would see it besides fred. you had done your makeup to perfectly match your completion, and done a hair style that exactly matched the hair type that laid on your head. your tresses, makeup and dress all compliment each-other. you look in the mirror a little more, wringing your fingers together before looking up at the door.

fred opened the door, leaning on its frame. his hair was long, not styled but you had always liked it better messy anyways. he was dressed in brown and black dress robes and if you thought fred was attractive before? you really thought we was beautiful now.

“you’re-... wow. everything is wow, you’re just so beautiful” fred said, looking you up and down analyzing your hair, face, and dress. “freddie, you look... really good” you nervously laughed before walking up to his lanky figure.

he grabbed your hand and brought you through the hallways, he also had made you cover your eyes and guided you once you reached a certain hallway. your movements were put to a halt when he whispered to you that were were almost there, you stood before a few seconds before you heard his footsteps again. ‘was he.... pacing?’ you thought to yourself. he grabbed your hand again before bringing you in a room.

“okay... open your eyes”

you quickly opened your eyes, a giant ballroom, with a instruments charmed to play your favourite music and fred to your left grinning like an idiot.

“oh my merlin.... did you do all this for me?” you say looking at him in the eyes, eyebrows scrunched and tearing welling in your eyes. “sweaty teenagers, bad music and spiked drinks with fire whisky aren’t really your favourite but i still wanted you to have a good evening. so i opted for this.” he said before looking at the floor then back at you.

“fred, i cannot fathom how amazing you are.” you said with a squeal before kissing his cheek and running to the middle of the floor. “c’mon now! don’t waste the music, dance with me!”

and with that, he was off. some songs were fast, some songs were slow. but then your favourite slow song came and he knew no matter how much protesting his brain was saying, george’s little voice was much to over powering. “i can see those gears in your head moving, care to tell me what your thinking about?”

“you.”

“i’m going to need you to elaborate, please.” she always has a smooth way with words, he thought.

“everything, you’re everything. you mean everything to me.” fred definitely wasn’t a nervous, butterfly in the stomach and flustered guy but for for you we was tripping over his feet and becoming beet red at the slightest touch from you.

“kiss me.” for being such a closed off girl, you sure were bold. you said it more of a statement rather than a question but fred didn’t care, in that moment he only wanted to kiss the girl that also wanted to kiss him.

he moved his hand to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. he moved forward engaging you in a kiss, it was slow, passionate and it was something you had been both waiting for. you pulled away for a second to let your lungs breath but not before he captured your lips again moving faster, his grip on your waist tighted.

“merlin, i’ve been waiting to do that”

[shmothman]

weird question: are you black? i ONLY ask bc of how your writing impacted me. the leon one, i- i steer clear of the term "black love" bc its usually filled with stereotypes and pandering but...your fic...i felt so seen as a black person which is WEIRD to say??? the way you wrote leon!! and the reader!! the goofiness! the chemistry! the banter!! the subtle bits of physical affection in the middle of a make out?? it felt so REAL. and yet, still not exclusive to black ppl! ANYONE can enjoy it! 1/2

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words! I am white, but I truly do strive for inclusivity in my fic writing, so it makes me very happy to hear you feel that my writing is relatable as a black person. I’ve said this recently, but as a queer person (and I certainly do not mean to equate our struggles, but I do obviously see queer people and people of color as allies in the fight for equality and human rights for everyone) I often find that fanfic (especially reader insert fanfic) isn’t always inclusive if you aren’t white or cishet. So I try my best to write as inclusively as I can, so that everyone can enjoy falling in love with their little guys 🥰 and especially when I write about a character of color like Leon, I want to be careful and sensitive about the ways in which my whiteness might affect the way that I write him. All that to say, I am very glad that you feel represented! That’s exactly what I strive for. 💕

also, I cannot write a relationship without some inherent goofiness, as I’m. Very goofy in a relationship myself 🤣

Also also, kiss me thru the phone was my absolute FAVORITE song when I was 13. My childhood best friend had several of the “now that’s what I call music” CDs, and we used to dance in her bedroom to them. I just looked it up, kiss me thru the phone was on volume 31, along with boom boom pow, halo, and don’t trust me by 3OH!3 🤣

Again, thank you so much for sending such a kind message! I certainly plan on writing more for Leon in the future, he’s literally SUCH a good character and I’m so in love with him—

[malloryslourd]

Madison Dating Goodeday’s Daughter

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Warnings: Some Strong Language, Mentions Of Alcohol Use, Suggestive Themes

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A/N: yea yea i did it😼 these are crazy long tho so... oops maybe

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before you two even get together there’s always a weird aura around the way you two act with each other

Madison still made her snarky comments but they were better categorized as backhanded compliments instead of her standard bitchy remarks

being raised by a Cordelia and Misty you were always taught to be as nice as possible, but the other girls notice you’re a lot nicer to Madison than anyone else

if you ever need to run an errand Madison volunteers to go with you

only to “get out of the house” tho

if you volunteer to do the dishes after dinner she conveniently will stay behind to help

if she needs help with a spell or class you’re always free to give help

it’s all just really convenient

one of those convenient nights when everyone’s already went to their own rooms and settled, you two were downstairs cleaning up the kitchen

Madison was making jokes about the other girls that you laughed at even tho they were a little rude

after a while the laughter and struggling to breathe at moments turns into a tense silence, the two of you sharing quick glances as you moved around the room

you’d finally stop to take a breath and look at her out of the corner of your eye

“You’ve been a lot nicer to me than usual, you know?”

Madison stopped cold, trying to think if it was that obvious that she had been

“I don’t... You...”

“It’s not a problem. Like, not to say you’ve been outstandingly mean to me. You’ve always been... nice”

you’d both fall quiet again, waiting for the other to continue on

“You’re easier to be nice to. You’re not like everybody else”

the conversation would end again, actually allowing for some cleaning to get done

after that you both hurried to finish and go your own way to your rooms

the convo had been awkward enough, there was no reason to continue it

the next day you talked to Mallory and Zoe about it

“I don’t know... it was just, like, weird to be honest”

Zoe would most def be like “Yeah it was weird because you’re in love with her”

#ZoeIsNoHelp

you kinda both distanced yourself from each other for a bit, neither of you wanting to be alone in a room with the other

it didn’t take long for another confrontation to take place

it would happen at a party thrown at the coven when Misty and Cordelia were away

after a few hours of music too loud to handle and few sips of whatever the hell Coco created in the kitchen, thoughts became words a lot easier

you and Madi ended up sitting next to each other on a couch, not saying anything at first

then you would turn to her, grabbing her arm and tilting your head while you waited for her to acknowledge you

“Why don’t you hate me?” “What?” “Why don’t you hate me like everyone else? What did I do?” “I... I don’t fucking know!”

you’d blink at each other

you weren’t satisfied with that answer and she knew that

“Not cool Madi” “You’re not cool” “Bullshit, you think I’m cool” “Yea, sure I do. I think you’re the goddamn coolest” “Because I am!” “Whatever” “If I wasn’t cool you wouldn’t like me as much as you do. Admit it!” “I don’t like you!”

it was definitely the drinks that had made that hurt a lot more than it should’ve

“But do you really? Like do you like me or what?” “I was joking. Of course I like you” “Not like that... Do you like me?”

she would go extremely quiet, thinking about that fact that maybe she DID like you

“I... I think” “The fuck is that supposed to mean?!” “I don’t fucking no!” “It’s a yes or no question Madi!” “Well then yeah, I like you! A lot!”

you’d let go of her arm slowly, both of you slightly leaning away from the other

“What the fuck am I doing?”

Madi would get up and hurry to the kitchen, you following her through the crowd of ppl

she leaned against the counter watching as you followed her in

you were pissed, what did that even mean

you’d start asking her what was wrong, saying that something was obviously keeping her from telling you the truth

after continuous “I don’t knows” and another cup of God knows what she would finally turn to you

“We can’t be together! Are you crazy?” “Why the fuck not?” “Are you serious? I literally have tried to kill your mother, very unsuccessfully! Everyone here hates me and everyone loves you! It just doesn’t make sense!”

you’d tell her it wasn’t true and shake your head

not everyone hated her, or at least in your mind, and if they did who really cared

“Well fuck them, I don’t care. If we like each other than so what? It doesn’t matter”

her face had somehow ended up in your hands and you both just stared at each other

after a very long discussion, interrupted by way too many drunk ppl, you both would somehow end up in your room, sitting on your bed, facing each other while holding hands and trying to figure out what the hell happened downstairs

you’d fall asleep taking about it, offering absolutely no help to clean after the party- very in character for Madison, very out of character for you

the relationship would be mostly secret from there

Queenie knows everything tho, she knows everything

it would be small changes around the house

the two of you sitting together for every meal, instead of Madi joining just a few errands it was almost all of them, you would go upstairs to go to bed at just around the same time

the girls put two and two together before Cordelia and Misty did

Zoe was $100 richer

Coco? not so much let’s just say that

they didn’t say anything, they knew it wasn’t their place

it was pretty easy for a while until there was a stupid slip up: Madi forgetting to lock your door after coming in to hang out with you

Misty would just walk in to the two of you laying on each other, one of your faces buried in the other’s neck

there was no getting out of it, she knew immediately- everything made sense at that moment

Misty and Cordelia are not the happiest about this relationship

you two were able to keep it secret for two months at the absolute most, but these women aren’t stupid

Cordelia is incredibly disappointed

Misty on the other hand is trying to figure out how long her prison sentence would be if she just so happened to kill someone

it would lead to a giant argument between the three of you, Madison secretly spectating from a bit of a distance to ensure her own safety

Cordelia would say something like “I’m over it, you two can’t be together”

the conversation wouldn’t end well

you’d end up walking out of the room to go rant to Madison or some of the other girls while absolutely fuming

you, Cordelia, and Misty would exchange very few words over the next two or three weeks, at least

Madi would be there to help with it tho

reassuring you that you did nothing wrong or everything would be okay

she would feel guilty, thinking about how she HAD done some pretty horrible things to them both in the past

but she was willing to fix that

your best interest was always Madison’s top priority

she wouldn’t want to ruin anything for you

so she would help you with whatever you needed- magic, chores, literally anything

you would insist it wasn’t necessary but that’s all she wanted to do

and plus it gave you both an excuse to be with each other more

the more time you two spent together the more considerate Madi became to everyone else

granted, everyone thought this was some type of prank or worse some type of sick trap, but it was nice (?)

Cordelia would notice it

the bitchy comments at dinner almost came to a stop(emphasis on the almost), she did what she had to around the house without having to be asked more than twice or so, and she stopped going out of her way to make ppl miserable

but she couldn’t help but notice you were a lot happier too

Misty on the other hand still thought this was all a coverup for some greater evil, or so she claimed

it wasn’t that she didn’t want to admit to the changes, she just didn’t want to admit to the causes of the changes

it did NOT make sense with her reality that her sweet baby was happy with someone so evil

Cordelia would be easier about it, there would be less times she would stop you going to Madi’s room or vice versa, she’d find herself smiling at the two of you getting along instead of being angry

Misty took a lot of convincing from Cordelia on the other hand

like multiple discussions before bed about how maybe they should cut Madison some slack

that girl was not having it at all

she comes around eventually

soon? no. but eventually? sure.

Madi might not be the best roommate to some of the girls but she’s genuinely a great partner

she always puts you first

no matter what

she likes to know that if there’s anything she can do to make you feel safe or loved, she’s doing it

if she’s not with you in person she texts you as often as she can without being annoying

study dates where you’re actually trying to help her but she’s on her phone the whole time or trying to convince you to give up

she’ll “accidentally” knock the book you’re reading off of the bed or out your hands

“Ugh, looks like we can’t do that anymore... Bummer”

you learn to just give up when she starts retaliating

she’ll sneak into your room after everyone goes to bed, greeting you with a quick kiss you both smile through

you only got caught once but Cordelia didn’t even care enough to say anything at the time, just a “don’t let it happen again” in the morning

it happened again

it’s literally most of the time just the two of you talking about whatever happened throughout the day or watching a movie and laughing at Madison making jokes about on of the actors

Madi is very physically affectionate, no matter where either of you are

she won’t admit it but she’s loves sweet soft kisses rather than a rough make out session- but only in private i feel??? she has a character to uphold outside of closed doors

you’ll be laying in bed and she’ll kiss your forehead and you cheek, smiling at you if you even try to act annoyed with her

the other girls are over the PDA... OVER IT

sometimes they can’t even go into the kitchen to get something to drink, it’s ridiculous

Misty is always disapproving of it, without fail

she’s so childish she would literally make gagging noises just seeing you two sit next to each other

she did that when Madison walked into a room before you two started dating but that’s not important

Madi is very much a Look-What-I-Have-And-You-Don’t type of person (always has been, always will be)

she loves to show you off

“So my girlfriend...” “Yeah my girlfriend...” “Did you see that my girlfriend...”

you would get embarrassed after so much of it, getting flustered everytime she would say “my” or “mine”

Madison lives a very expensive lifestyle, no surprise there, so she’s always buying you some type of gift

you come home and there would be a gift bag on your bed or she’ll text you telling you she had a surprise

she has trouble with saying what she means or being able to talk about how she feels so that’s one of her go-to’s when she can’t figure out how to say “I love you”

you try to tell her it’s not necessary but she doesn’t listen

the two of you could spend all day together and not get tired of the other

you find anything and everything to talk about

some conversations carry on for days sometimes

they’ll roll over right to the next morning without missing a beat

Madi loves to call you “Baby”, “Darling”, “Sweetheart”, and “Love”

the Madison-Calling-Her-SO-Mommy stuff started when she was drunk we don’t have time for that right now

anything that makes you feel special is okay with her

you call her “Sweetheart” and “Love” too, maybe “Babe” instead of “Baby”

with her being so possessive she would buy you a piece of jewelry with her initials on it

a ring, necklace, whatever it may be

and she would love to put it on for you

k, Madison loves a good hickey gotta admit

she has no shame in it either

she likes to both put them on someone and have them out on her

she wears hers a lot more proudly than you tho

the other girls make fun of you for it, saying it look like you got in a fight with someone

thankfully you’re able to hide them from Cordelia and Misty, and Madison is nice enough to make sure they don’t see hers

she notices that Misty is still hostile towards your relationship she would eventually take matters into her own hands

Madi would tell her that she knows her and Misty aren’t the best of friends but you made Madi happy and Madi made you happy and it still hurt you to see Misty so upset with you

Misty doesn’t know why hearing this from her made it anymore convincing than anyone else, but she would understand it now

Madison is always touching you to be honest

she’ll come up behind you and hug you from behind, kissing your shoulder and staying there without saying anything

she’d put her head in your lap and just start rambling about something that happened that day

“Are you ignoring me?” “Of course not” “What did I say?” “Something about... something” “ANYWAYS, back to what I was saying” “Great babe, yeah”

half of her twitter is dedicated to you let’s be real

Madison Montgomery Tweeted: My girlfriend is so much better than all of you :)

“Let’s go do something” “It’s 3 in the morning” “... So?”

driving around the city at night, listening to music and holding hands as you take random turns and streets neither of you had really ever been on

people telling you how much better Madison had been since you got together

going on date nights where the two of you argue over who’s gonna pay for thirty minutes

one of you ending up taking the card out of the others wallet before leaving the house

once both of you did this but you were able to come up with the cash together and a tip for the waiter after making them wait so long

Madi will walk into your room to find you studying or practicing your magic and go “Ugh, you and Zoe hang out too much”

she has the most embarrassing photo of you as he screensaver... like ma’am... this isn’t funny :|

the both of you have pictures with each other everywhere in you rooms

she doesn’t like to argue

she really does try her best to not upset you

so she learns how to be more open about her feelings instead of covering them up and acting as if nothing is bothering her

stargazing on nights neither of you can sleep

making sure to tell the other how much you love them at least once a day

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

[hinasho]

i finally finished tribes of europa and that was actually really fucking good????

HOT TIP -> don’t watch the english dub. i usually don’t care between dub or sub, but the dub of TOE is definitely it’s downfall and changes the entire atmosphere of the show, in a bad way. okay anyways:

TOE was actually great. i think the beginning half of the first episode is the worst (i even almost exited out. it looked so wack) and then the rest of the episode is just okay. but from then on, things genuinely do pick up.

i love Liv. i love her persistence to do whatever it takes to rescue her family. the fact that after all this time she still refuses to assimilate and rep a flag is really cool imo. she has one goal and the only people she’s truly loyal to are her family. she doesn’t owe anyone else anything at all. i really like her. i did think her romance with that David guy was kinda dull tho.

i like Elja’s story. his relationship with Moses was fun to watch and i like that, like his sister, his loyalties are mainly focused on his family. unlike Liv tho, he’s not as cutthroat and will ofc help Moses out if he can, but if he sees that things aren’t leading him to avenge his family, then if need be he’ll go on his own path.

and Kiano’s story. my goodness that is all angst. all the siblings are traumatized but Kiano is def coming out of this the Most fucked up, if he’s not already. i liked his plotline tho, things were always always intense and the vibe of One Wrong Move And Youre Dead was definitely there.

i just!!! gosh the storytelling in this was amazing. i love how the siblings are all each on different sides - Liv is with another tribe, Elja isn’t with any tribe and is on the run, and Kiano is with the villains.

and the parallels! omg the parallels. it didn’t even hit me until like episode 5 that all their storylines were progressing parallel to each other. ep5 had a running theme of betrayal in all of them - Liv (temporarily) betrays David, Elja’s plan to betray Moses gets revealed, and then Dewiat betrays Kiano by ratting him and his dad out. after that point i started seeing so many other layers to the show that i absolutely plan to do a rewatch bc what else could i have missed??!?!!!

and the acting!! i feel like i’m losing my mind bc i’ve seen some ppl say the acting isn’t good. are we watching the same show????? the show where Kiano’s drenched in tears after having almost killed him self just to please Varvara? the show where Elja goes into an emotional rage after Moses’ lady friend says the cube can’t be fixed? the show where after Liv wakes up in the Crimson camp and her blatant-but-obviously-wanting-to-hide distress at being alone, and then the way her tone goes deadly serious once she tells David and co. that she’ll rescue her family herself?? that same show?!???!!?! the acting is probably the best thing about it!

all this is not to say i didn’t have gripes tho:

the soundtrack. idk what was up with whoever chose the music but they need to get it together. there were a few times where the music didn’t really fit the scene and kinda took me out of it.

the camera work. episode 1 i think is the worst offender of this but there were a lot of times when the camera work was just Not Good. either the characters were being shot from weird and unpleasant angles, or it was just off somehow. idk. but this fortunately gets better further into the show.

the worldbuilding. it’s hard to explain, it’s like it’s both good and not enough. like, can i easily understand everything? yes. if i were to see a random character dressed in their tribes’ usual clothes, would i be able to easily identify them? absolutely. but do i know how many days have actually passed since the Origine massacre? nope. do i remember how long it’s been since Black December and what year the protags live in now? nu uh. do i understand what wolk even is or why the Crows even started following Yvar in the first place?? nope! so like this is what i mean. the worldbuilding is enough for the plot to make sense and move forward, but it’s also not enough in feeling like an in-depth universe with lore and history and etc. etc.

all in all i really liked it!!!! i’m really hoping it gets a season 2 bc it definitely deserves it and there’s still so many cliffhangers (especially the ones at the end of Kiano and Elja’s stories) that this is gonna need many more seasons to come.

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

[curiosityjams]

re: iz*one

first of all, i wanted to say i didn’t plan on writing something about the disbandment. the past few months have been incredibly rough on my mental state to the point where i feel as if i’ve lost all sense of self. shit has been so rough for me, their disbandment being confirmed made that even worse for me. however, i realized i need to learn how to be okay with like...being open about my own emotions in a time of uncertainty and writing them out helps me in a way even if a lot of those emotions i’d rather keep private. i’ve also been going thru a time where i’m currently reevaluating this past year and everything i’ve done/felt in the past few yrs (2.5 of those years being izone’s run), so i thought i’d write something about the disbandment and what iz*one means to me, esp during this point in my life. i’d write more about what led me to this point, but if i did, i’d end up writing a whole novel, so i’m just going to keep this as short as possible.

also if this is a jumbled mess, i’m sorry!!!!

since we’re here to talk about the inevitable, i just wanted to say that i’ve probably had a harder time accepting them being gone than i thought. i knew they were gonna disband eventually bc lol produce group, but also, knowing what happened with the voting scandal and the panasonic, it makes it even worse for me. i hate that they didn’t even bother to handle their disbandment in a way that wasn’t complete horseshit. i hate how the pandora screwed everything up. i hate how we didn’t even get a proper goodbye from the girls. i knew that this was going to happen, but i fucking hate how it all turned out. i can’t say i’m 100% happy with the ending and honestly, don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully accept that they’re no longer a group. 

that said, i’m not here to vent.

while i’m obviously upset that they’re gone, the fact that they were ever a group to begin with--i’ll forever be grateful. i avoided getting into them for the longest time because of my own trauma from being involved in the 48 fandom (smth i’ll talk about at a later time bc it’s a lot), but the moment i decided to watch their “up” performance and actually give them a chance beyond looping la vie en rose, that’s when i fell in love. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the visuals. i fell in love with the bond between the girls. most of all, i fell in love with the fact that during a weird transitional period in my 20s, i found a group that gave me the closure i needed in a time where it felt like the world was against me while also giving me the strength i need to move on. 

while we’re on that topic, let’s talk about kwon eunbi.

as you already know from my url, eunbi is obviously my bias. she’s the leader of the group, under the company my ult group, lovelyz, is also in, and THE absolute all-rounder. she’s extremely talented, super fucking funny, a babe of THE highest order, and the best single mom you could ever ask for. every time i watch a video of iz*one’s or look at any of their pics, i’m always in absolute awe of her. while i love all of the girls (j-line has a very special place in my heart bc of my time in 48 fandom) and do consider the entire group to be one full of bias wreckers, it’s eunbi that instantly caught my eye and the one i’m incredibly proud to call my ult.

“now, drea, why is it that you’re taking so much time with talking about how special this group and that girl are to you?” well, it’s mainly because that eunbi and i are the same age (both 95-liners, but i’m older by 2 months) that i’m so drawn to not only her, but the group as well. yeah, it’s normal to be drawn to members born in your birth year, but for me and esp in this case, it’s far more complex than it seems.

around the time i got into the group, i was (still am) going thru a quarter life crisis. i had just finished my a.a., was a few months away from turning 24, and had pretty much decided i was going to take an indefinite hiatus from twitter due to the amount of harm its done to my mental health over 10 years. i felt like shit knowing that so many people my age were living their lives, getting married, having kids, etc all that shit while i felt as if i was frozen in time and like i could never accomplish any of those things because according to society, my time was up. as a woman on the autism spectrum, i never felt like anything i did was enough and knowing that even after years of trauma, the feeling that if i don’t have my entire life sorted out by 24/25 scared the living shit out of me. knowing that a panini happened made those feelings even worse. 

i know it’s weird to like...feel so many emotions over this esp since 23-25 is young and starting your career out at that age is normal. that said, knowing how eunbi was already in a group prior to joining iz*one that ended up disbanding months after they debuted, the road she took to get to where she is now, and the fact that she’s 25/26 and will get so many chances to start over is what gives me hope after such a shit year. i can finally get to where i want to be, i’ll graduate from university, i’ll hopefully get a job that will earn me enough money to move out of my mom’s house, i’ll find love, etc who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? i hate that after years of hating myself and being afraid of getting older because people often have this mentality that you should abandon all sense of yourself once you hit your mid 20s, it’s taken me THIS long to actually start accepting myself for who i am and living my life for myself, but i’m excited to see where the fuck life takes me after years of self-hatred, trauma, and trying too hard to please ppl that don’t give a shit. seeing eunbi just have a fucking blast on stage, take care of her members, and overall be the amazing person she is gave me the strength i desperately needed to actually get to the path i want to be on as someone that’s a few years away from turning 30.

as i said earlier, i’m not ready to just outright accept iz*one being gone. i’ll probably spend the entire month of may just watching their content since there’s still a shitton of stuff i have yet to watch and i’m lowkey embarrassed that as a fan, i’m admitting this, but also: there’s no time limit. i can always watch that video at another time, i’ll like that pic later, etc. i wish iz*one was one of those things that had no time limit because i’ll always cherish them, but in the 2.5 years of their existance, i achieved some big things and survived a pandemic. i left twitter, got closure in chapters i needed closure in, finished my a.a., etc among many other things during that time and it’s partly because of iz*one that i’ve pushed myself to do all of those things. it’s hard esp since it’s easier to just write smth like this on tumblr than actually do it, but the girls and their music were part of the reason why 2020 wasn’t a complete dumpster fire for me. 

most of all, i wanted to write this because i wanted to shout-out the amazing folks at @izonetwork​. i joined super late in the game, but the convos i’ve had, the laughs we’ve had on discord/among us, etc i’ll never forget it. meeting all of you was one of THE highlights of an otherwise shitty year and i’ll always credit you as one of the reasons why i wasn’t completely emotionally distant during such a dark time. all of you keep me grounded and i’m forever grateful. super honored to call you guys my friends. <3

so yeah, thank you iz*one. thank you, eunbi, sakura, hyewon, yena, chaeyeon, chaewon, minju, nako, hitomi, yuri, yujin, and wonyoung. i don’t speak korean or japanese, but know i’m eternally grateful for all the joy, strength and bops you gave me in the past 2.5 years. i’m even more grateful for the friends i’ve met thru my own fandom of the group. i’m excited to see what every single one of you does next regardless of what it may be. 

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch up on all the enozis i’ve missed. 

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤