#abusive work environments

[sandinmybed]

can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.

most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.

[faramirsonofgondor]

I honestly just need a fic where someone calls literally everyone out on their bullshit. And by their bullshit I mean the way they treat Jamie. Because everyone in that show has wrong him at least once. I’d argue that the people who wronged him the least were Pep, Nate, Higgins, Trent, and maybe Keeley but that’s a little debatable still. Like maybe it can be Dr. Fieldstone or maybe it can just be an outsider. But I just need it to happen.

The way people treat him in season 2 & 3 ( and even in some scenes in season 1) is just NOT RIGHT. Like they literally just walk all over him half the time??? Don’t get me wrong, the team and the others CAN be supportive and kind to Jamie, but sometimes they’re just straight up toxic dicks too. Even in season 1, half of the time Jamie was being “a prick” he was really just on the defensive ?? Like Roy also does some pretty fucked up shit but nobody calls him out on it because he’s the team captain. Like he literally fucking head butted Colin and could’ve given him a really bad concussion, but since Colin was being a prick first that just makes it okay???? Roy instigates and escalates multiple fights with Jamie, yet Jamie gets benched for being a dick to Sam ( which might’ve been deserved, but then Roy should’ve been benched as well).

Then in season 2, we see the team get incredibly angry with Jamie once he comes back. Which is just??? It seems like Ted just let them stew in their anger towards Jamie instead of actually talking to them about it. Like the fact that they’re upset about stuff that happened before he left, even though they didn’t seem angry at him right before he left. Like where was this anger towards Jamie before? I honestly think they were just using any excuse to take their negative emotions out in Jamie. Like you’re seriously telling me that Bumbercatch was upset about Jamie flirting with his mom when that happened probably months before? That Richard was so angry he had to talk in French because Jamie cupped a fart and put it in face? That Colin was pissed about an insult Jamie made that sounded like a 3rd grader came up with?? Isaac pretty much hit the nail on the head when he blamed Jamie for getting them relegated, because that’s what they were all actually angry about. Additionally, I think it’s very telling that Sam, who was the one Jamie picked on the most, was silent throughout that whole thing. I honestly think that Sam was the only one who was at least a little curious about whether Jamie had truly changed, and who actually wanted to give him a chance. But he wanted Jamie to work for it, which is fair all things considered.

I think the person who treats him the worst in season 2 ( besides his father) is probably Ted because of much he ignores Jamie’s issues with his father, and he fails to see the influence he’s had on Jamie and his self esteem. Like the way Ted doesn’t even tell Jamie that he didn’t send him away??? He could’ve at least cleared up that Jamie wasn’t send away cause of his attitude or whatever.

Anyways, I’ve already spoken on the teams many fuck ups with Jamie season 3 before so I’ll keep this short. The entire Zava situation was creating a toxic work environment and everyone except Jamie was feeding into that toxicity. Nobody speaks up for Jamie when Roy is a dick to him all the time. Nobody apologizes. They yell at him for stupid shit. They fail to notice how much he’s struggling until he spells it out for them. Roy and his whole macho dick fight with Keeley.

Anyways, they’ve been pretty shit to Jamie and deserve to have someone point that out to them.

[bitchesgetriches]

How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships

Earlier this year, Piggy and I delivered a speech on the subject of burnout. That there’s an appetite for advice on this subject among women’s professional associations will, perhaps, not shock you?

As I was researching the impact that burnout has on the body, I got an eerie feeling that the symptoms seemed familiar. I wondered if I’d already written something on this topic and forgotten. (We’ve written several hundred articles apiece, so it happens!)

But no! What was tripping my extremely faulty memory triggers wasn’t a past article about burnout.

It was a past article on domestic violence.

This really got me thinking about all the stories I’ve heard from you, our readers, about burnout. And I started noticing disturbing patterns in the ways those stories were told. As a result, I’ve come to a stronger opinion about the overlap between the psychology of abusive workplaces and abusive relationships.

… Which is that they’re functionally identical.

Keep reading.

If you liked this article, join our Patreon!

[stupiditysphere]

how do sexist portal fans exist. the entire story is about the experience of women in male dominated fields and the cycles of workplace abuse that situation perpetuates

[idealest-of-ideals]

Enemies to lovers kousano.

Thats all.

[hooved]

nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him

[studebakerhearse]

I like Pink Flamingos but I'm kind of bitter at the fact that it's John Water's most well-known film because Female Trouble is truly his magnum opus

[robertsbarbie]

x

[cactusflowerfemme]

Life update! Quit my job (for a vast myriad of reasons) and bought an oil lamp.

[thethingything]

our brain is trying so hard to either send us down a trauma spiral, make me dysphoric enough to have a breakdown, or make us overwhelmed enough by tasks we know we need to do eventually to have a breakdown over that instead, and I am trying so hard to not let it do any of these things but good god I would like to not have to deal with this

[faramirsonofgondor]

Ted Lasso Thoughts: Jamie & Apologies

I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about this but can I just say that even though Jamie was like a total fucking prick in season 1, he honestly didn’t deserve a lot of the treatment he got from the team, especially in season 3. It was honestly kind of a toxic work environment for him because I don’t think he thought he was allowed to set boundaries with other people and express his emotions completely. Like obviously he spent some of his time in therapy learning how to express how he felt with his father and how to set boundaries with him specifically, but I don’t think he ever really learnt how to do that with the team and everyone else in his life (Ted, Roy, Keeley, etc.) Also, I don’t see many people bringing this up either but it grates my nerves so badly in season 3 when Jamie brings up his concerns about Zava and they’re all just like “well, you’re being hypocritical.” But he’s not. Because he fixed his behavior. It’s honestly so unfair for them to constantly throw his old behavior back in his face when they’ve already “forgiven” him. If they actually forgave him, they wouldn’t feel the need to constantly bring it up. The team and the coaches’ opinion of him is very clearly important to him and how he reacts to others. When Isaac and everyone got mad he wasn’t scoring goals in 3x07, he makes this face like he’s a bit hurt and he disagrees with what they’re saying, but he never responds to that. However, if Jamie had acted that way to any of them….

I know Ted was really trying to help and give Jamie a second chance when he invited him back to Richmond, but he definitely needed to clear things up with him because it seems like Jamie is just letting everyone walk all over him? Like he may not be bothered with their behavior, but I honestly think that deep down he doesn’t think he’s allowed to be, which is such a fucked up notion. Just because you were an asshole before doesn’t give everyone else around you the right to be an asshole to you and only you later on. Like I really can’t find any instances of the team or coaches getting rude or aggressive like they do with Jamie, besides maybe when everyone tells Jan Maas to shut up.

I just really hate the way they handled this, especially considering Jamie is a survivor of abuse and likely has a hard time even recognizing toxic behavior, letting alone standing up for himself. Like they could have at least had one person acknowledge that Jamie didn’t deserve to get constantly yelled at (by Roy, by Ted, by his father, by his team mates). I’m not saying what happened between Isaac and Jamie was a common occurrence but the fact that nobody said anything? Along with the fact that nobody apologized or checked in on Jamie after the whole Zava ordeal?

I 100% mean it when I say that Jamie deserves an apology from almost everyone in the show. Did Jamie fuck up sometimes? Yes. Did he constantly over apologize for it? Yes. Did anyone apologize to him? Maybe a couple of times. But I can list at least 10 things off the top of my head that no one addressed or apologized for:

1) Keeley & Roy never apologized (at least on screen) for what they said at the charity auction.

2) Ted never apologized or addressed walking away from Jamie when his father was abusing him.

3) Rebecca never apologized to Jamie for getting rid of him with no reason or warning (the least she could’ve done was tell Jamie she was the one who did it)

4) The team (Isaac specifically) never apologized for blaming Jamie for their relegation when he literally did his job? He wasn’t even the one who scored the goal? And some of the shit they were mad about was super fucking petty too? Like Richard being super upset that Jamie cupped a fart and put it in his face but that’s literally just peak sibling behavior tbh, not really “bullying”.

5) Ted, Beard, and Nate never really addressed or apologized to Jamie for not stepping in when Jamie was getting shit on when he came back? Like instead of telling the team to knock it off, he just does his Led Tasso thing? Which might’ve helped but it didn’t really address how they were treating Jamie?

6) Roy never apologized for not coaching Jamie and acting immaturely. Like that whole humiliation thing was so weird and uncomfortable. I know a lot of people play off as some kinky thing, and maybe it was partially, but it’s also really shitty of Roy to that, especially considering the power imbalance between them. Like, Jamie was genuinely trying receive feedback and instruction from someone who’s meant to his boss/coach, and Roy uses his power to humiliate Jamie, knowing that Jamie was actually just looking for help, and then he refuses to actually give Jamie any feedback. Like he does eventually, when Ted steps in (for once), but he’s still kind of vague and insulting when he does it. And he never acknowledges what he does?

7) Roy never actually addresses the fact that he “forgave” Jamie during 2x11. This isn’t actually that big of a “Jamie deserves an apology” situation. But I think it Roy should’ve at least told Jamie he was forgiven. Like he just yelled “Fuck!” and left him? Idk I just think it would’ve been nice for Roy to actually talk to him and not leave him floundering for understanding.

8) The coaches never apologized to Jamie for ignoring his concerns about Zava and calling a hypocrite. I’ve already talked about this earlier so I’m not really gonna elaborate. But I also think they should’ve stepped in after Zava stole Jamie’s goal ( like actually addressed it, not have Roy do some half praise/half insult invite to private training)

9) Ted never apologized for the shitty unsolicited advice he keeps giving Jamie about his dad! Please for the love of fuck Ted, just be quiet on this matter. I’m not even going to in depth on this one cause it speaks for itself.

10) James Tartt Sr. never once apologized for all the fucked up, monstrous, evil, god-awful shit he did to Jamie. This man committed every single type of abuse (emotional, physical, mental, sexual). And while it’s EXTREMELY unrealistic for him to apologize to Jamie for any this, they should not have even considered having Jamie forgive his father if he wasn’t going to apologize in the first place.

Anyways, Jamie deserved better and I will be forever mad that he did not get all the apologies he deserved.

**Also I would like to say that this isn’t me criticizing the characters themselves, but their actions and behaviors. I don’t think that these are necessarily toxic people (besides Jamie’s dad and Zava), but that they just have some toxic behaviors, which has led to an unhealthy dynamic between themselves and Jamie. There are plenty of moments when the characters (mainly Roy) notice their behavior towards Jamie and correct it or acknowledge it, but there are also MANY MANY moments where they don’t. There are also times where Jamie seems very uncomfortable or upset but doesn’t say anything (which can be attributed to the unhealthy dynamic between himself and others due to the fact that he doesn’t think he has the right to point out other peoples flaws or the ways they’ve hurt and are hurting him)

[girlwithfish]

finished therapy its just me ranting for 50min LOL

[tiredflowercrown]

Finally attempting to do something about it but I fear it's to late

[lisascr3ature]

my boss who is also the owner of my workplace keeps coming in sick and now i have strep throat because she refuses to stay away and i don't feel safe coming to work anymore because of her. she gave my mother and i covid last year that nearly took me out. there's a long labor board and osha violation list is on them but nothing will happen because my boss and her whole family lie.