#accepted: europa

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Void - Part 10 - Wednesday

title banner by @rude–jude♡

Genre: Sci-fi with a little angst and a LOT of smut

Pairing: BTS x Reader (yup - all seven)

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 9 /?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Warnings: very short chapter

Mercifully, Taehyung does not wake you up with a thumb in your mouth. You wonder if you will even see him today, given he only signed the form to hide his feelings for Jimin. 

You head straight for the greenhouse, determined to avoid Hoseok for as long as possible. Will you ever be able to face him again? Maybe you should start working nights.

Luckily, there’s plenty to do in the greenhouse and you manage to work all day without interruption. Dinnertime arrives and your stomach grumbles, but you procrastinate heading for the kitchen out of fear of who may be eating there. You can’t stomach bumping into any of the men you’re fucking or any of the men you aren’t.

At a little past seven o-clock, Taehyung sticks his head into the door of the greenhouse. He furrows his brow to see your hands covered in soil. “I thought we had a date?”

“Huh?” you ask, wiping the dirt from your hands onto your pants. “I thought that was pretend. For the benefit of the crew.” 

Taehyung laughs, stepping further into the greenhouse. “Well, some of it was, but I did actually make dinner.”

“You did?” You aren’t dressed for a date. Not that you have anything else to wear. Just a different slightly less dirty jumpsuit. At least none of your clothing is covered in semen today. Yet. 

Taehyung is wearing the same jumpsuit from the accident with the rover. It’s still missing a sleeve from where it was cut off of him. It’s quite flattering on him, no surprise. His exposed upper arm has just enough muscle definition to draw your attention. It’s still in the sling but the bruising has faded. The asymmetrical look with its rough unsewn edge makes him look rather roguish. 

“Come on! The food’s getting cold!” He ducks back out of the greenhouse, waving for you to follow him.

You clean your hands with a cloth and follow him. You're surprised when he veers away from the kitchen and heads for the hangar instead.

The overhead lights in the hangar are off. The room looks so different, it takes you a minute to process what you are seeing. The Europa rover sits in the middle of the room, glowing from the inside with soft blue light.  Scattered around the room are little twinkling lights of white and blue and green. 

“Taehyung!” you gasp. “What is all this?”

“A date!” he answers triumphantly. He clambors up onto one of the large wheels of the rover and opens the door. Even from a distance, you can see a white tablecloth covering the center console, topped with more twinkling lights. He reaches down a hand to help you up. “Your chariot, m’lady.”

“This is…” You are at a loss for words as you take his hand and climb up into the rover with him. “This is so…” You examine one of the twinkling lights on the make-shift table up close. It’s one of the LEDs intended for lighting your paths down on the Europa ice sheets. At least it was rechargeable. "Taehyung, this is so much work for a fake date.” 

Taehyung laughs. “Just because we’re not bumping uglies, doesn’t mean it can't be a real date. I like dates.”

He pulls out a reusable water bottle from behind one of the seats that makes a surprising pop when he opens it. Then he pours something golden and bubbly into two champagne glasses. 

Without thinking, you take accept glass as he hands it to you, then do a double-take. “Is this champagne? Where on Earth did you get champagne? Or champagne glasses?”

He laughs, enjoying your surprise, as he takes a sip from his own glass. “Unfortunately, it’s not the real stuff, just some apple juice I ran through the carbonator.” He clinks his glass to yours as you hold it, still suspended in shock. “The glasses are from Earth though. Packed them for a special occasion.”

He stares a bit wistfully at the glass in his hand and you get a little pang of sadness. “Were you planning this for Jimin?”

He looks up at you and shakes his head, waving your concerns away. “No, no, no. I did this for you.”

“For me?”

He nods. “I’m trying to make amends.”

You’re surprised. “Amends for what?”

He sighs. “For the tape, for the jealousy, I feel like…” He gestures around at the ship in general. “I feel like a lot of this is my fault.”

“What? No.” You shake your head. “This is my fault. I started all this.” 

Taehyung gestures to one side of the console table welcoming you to sit down. “It seemed like you and Jimin were happy though, until I broke my arm and messed everything up.”

“Yeah…” You sigh as you sit down across from him. You sip your fake champagne as you remember orgasming with Jimin inside you, but Yoongi’s voice in your head. “Mostly… but there was something missing…”

“Ah,” Taehyung gives a bit of a teasing smile. “A certain flight engineer, perhaps?”

“Yeah,” you shrug nervously, running your finger around the rim of your glass and teetering on the edge of admitting your real problem. “And not just him…” 

Taehyung nods knowingly. “We do have a devastatingly attractive crew, don’t we?”

“Yes!!” You exclaim, laughing in relief at someone who finally understands. “Why did you all have to be so fucking hot?!”

“All of us?” He places a hand on his chest in fake surprise. 

“Oh shut up, you know you’re hot.” The bubbles in your glass make you feel a little tipsy even if there's no alcohol in them.

Taehyung gives an exaggerated wink, then laughs. "You are very good at seeming uninterested in anyone though. I couldn’t believe how well you held it together when Jungkook stripped in front of you for that haircut.”

A lightbulb goes off. “Oh my god, you put him up to that, didn’t you?”

Taehyung bursts into delighted giggles and you smack him on his good arm. “You did! You maniac! Are you trying to kill me?”

“Not my finest moment, I will admit. Perhaps I had ulterior motives for throwing the hunk at you. Sorry. Just one of many reasons I owe you apologetic fake champagne.” He takes another sip and smiles as he recalls the memory. “Still, you kept your cool remarkably well. If it were me, I would have had his dick in my mouth well before the end of that haircut.”

Your mouth falls open. Fuck. That’s… that’s a very attractive mental image. Your pelvic muscles flinch with a twinge of arousal. 

Taehyung sees your surprise and his eyes widen. “Oh shoot, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He takes your glass from you and sets it down on the table, before turning to rummage with something in a cooler sitting under the seat next to him.

“Oh no.” You squirm in your seat. “I’m not… you didn’t…” you stammer. Fuck. What are you even trying to say? “I just didn’t realize you were attracted to Jungkook as well.”

Taehyung turns back to you and smiles. “I mean… how could you not be? That smile… those abs…”

You both sigh in unison, then laugh. “It’s deeply unfair,” you agree.

He nods, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “What’s deeply unfair is how you have this crew wrapped around your finger.”

“What? No I don’t.”

He arches an eyebrow.

“I don’t!”

He sips his apple juice skeptically.

“No seriously! Hoseok and Namjoon won’t have sex with me even though I practically begged them…” 

He shakes his head. “I still don’t think you realize the power you hold.”

“What power?”

“I saw that video you made with Yoongi. That was incredible. When you let go of all the fear and stress and were so open and vulnerable, that was beautiful. It’s no wonder they all love you.”

Something about hearing it from someone you’re pretty sure doesn’t want to have to sex with you makes you feel like it might really be true. But the whole thing is still too embarrassing and uncomfortable to think about for too long. 

“They’re not in love with me. They’re just… I don’t know… can we talk about something else?”

“Sure.”

Taehyung sets down two plates of what looks like fine dining. Red beets sliced thin and drizzled with balsamic vinegar and a rounded mound of rice pilaf topped with a whole chicken breast.

“My god, where did you get all this?”

He smiles, pleased with himself. “Jin helped me with a bunch of it. I’ve technically given up two of my Christmas dinners for this, but it seemed worth it.” 

You are shocked again that he would go to so much effort. “You didn’t have to do all this just for the sake of our pretend relationship…”

He reaches over the table to take your hand in his. “I do want a real relationship with you though,” he says and your heart starts racing. His dark eyes hold such warmth even as the rest of him is so statuesque. But then he draws back. “Even just as a friend.” he says and you’re a bit disappointed. 

The two of you chat the rest of the evening as you savor your meal, both relieved to find someone you can be honest with. 

At one point you offer to mend his jumpsuit sleeve for him, but he declines. “I like it," he says, shrugging. "Reminds me of important lessons."

You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. "I suppose it is rather dashing," you admit, trying to fill the silence. "But I suppose you would make a dish towel look dashing." You can't even blame the fake champagne for your loose tongue.

His eyes widen in delight and he laughs as he pours the last of the bubbly apple juice into each of your glasses.

“So…” he says as you take a last bite of your dessert, a delicious chocolate cake designated for some future New Year’s Eve. “Fuck, marry, kill: Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi.”

You gasp in horror. “Taehyung, I can’t answer that!”

“Too violent? How about fuck, marry, kiss?”

“No way, not answering.” You mime zipping your lips closed. 

“I’d marry Jimin, obviously.” He continues, undeterred. “And I think I’d have to fuck Yoongi. Those hands… my god.”

“Ugh…” Just the memory makes you groan and collapse onto the table in front of you. “Tae, he’s so good with them. It’s terrible. Those goddamn hands are what started this whole mess.”

Taehyung is pleased to have finally cracked through your facade. “Though the commander… he just carries himself like he has a big dick, you know?”

“Agh…” you groan again, laughing as you stand up. “I think that’s my cue to go to bed.”

“Allow me, m’lady.” He stands up and takes your hand to help you out of the rover. He’s still holding your hand as the two of you reach the floor of the hangar. 

“Thank you again for all this.” You gesture at the twinkling lights spread over the floor, looking especially lovely now that most of the ship has gone dark. 

“Would you mind a platonic goodnight kiss?” He asks, tapping his cheek.  

You bite your lip and shake your head, feeling a whole storm of butterflies in your stomach that do not feel platonic at all. He leans in and gives you a soft kiss on your cheek. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” he murmurs close to your ear.

“Same time next week?” you ask, trying to fight down how on fire your face feels now. “I’ll cook next time.”

He grins. “Looking forward to it.”

______

Thursday is next! And it's going to be dramatic. Hopefully it will be ready soon! Thanks for reading!

[copperbadge]

Roma was knocked out of Europa Cup contention today, which was simultaneously sad and expected. With an inexperienced coach and an exhausted team, after a very rocky season, it was tough even getting this far, but it would have been spectacular to send this team and coach to the cup.

Truly, Leverkusen just played the better game. Daniele de Rossi, aka AS Roma Coach Hot Beardo, was disappointed but resigned.

He knew they were outmatched and accepted it, which is classy, and also means the homoerotic tension with Leverkusen coach Xabi Alonso can continue undisturbed.

It won't go anywhere, but it will entertain a bunch of fans.

[extendedtimeline]

Batman: Europa & Batman and Jokers relationship

read: This will be a post looking at, and analyzing the relationship between Batman & Joker in Batman: Europa. I actually wrote this entire post (it took me like two hours) and then Tumblr didn't save it correctly so I lost all of my work! <////3 This is your sign to not be like me and write directly on Tumblr it's a bad idea. This won't be as long as the post was originally intended to be, but I hope to still touch on most of the topics I did the first time. I HEAVILY recommend reading this comic for yourself at some point. It's very compelling. Apologies if I get anything incorrect, or if I don't make sense at any point. If you have any requests for future posts about Batman & Jokers relationship I'm definitely all ears!!!

Small Summary

In Batman: Europa Batman and the Joker are infected with a deadly virus, they're both given varying pieces of information to begin with, and this leads to them teaming up to find the person who infected them. They travel throughout Europe (Berlin, Prague, Paris, and Rome) together, fighting enemies, and learning about eachother along the way.

Note

I'm going to divide this post up by Comic issue AKA location. I think this will just make it easier in general. Unlike my first version of this, I'm going to try to keep my summaries of each issue condensed. I will start out with a summary of the issue, and then talk about what I noticed within the chapters. I'm going to try to keep the images to a minimum (bc of the image limit) but if you're curious about what a page looks like, go check it out! Seriously, the art is amazing. I may not touch on absolutely every instance of their weird relationship with her eachother but I tried to pick out the moments I liked a lot <3

Berlin

This chapter starts in Gotham, where Batman is fighting Croc, although Bruce is much weaker than usual. Croc even senses this, and comments on it. Bruce does eventually take him down and Alfred asks him to come to the Batcave. Alfred breaks the news that there has been a virus put on the bat computer. The screen reads:

" Colossus is in your system. You have one week left. Have fun. Start running. "

Obviously from this and Bruce's state they gather this isn't really about the bat computer, and actually about Bruce. Batman finds that the virus originated in Berlin, so he suits up and heads out.

Bruce stalks a criminal, but when he runs out of a building screaming murder, Bruce enters to find a bunch of people with gigantic grins plastered on their faces, so it's clear who is behind this attack.

Bruce tracks down Joker and smashes through a window (because of course he does???). Joker was badgering a girl named Nina about something. Bruce starts to interrogate the Joker until he realizes the Joker is ALSO infected. Nina also knows about the computer virus and can get in contact with the person who asked her to make it. Bruce realizes that he literally needs the Joker on this case with him.

Berlin: B & J

Something I felt the need to bring up is the way Bruce talks about the History of Cölln and Berlin:

" Cölln and Berlin crashed into each other somewhere in the fourteenth century. History forced them together. I get the joke but I'm not laughing. "

Clearly, this is talking about B&J's history too, but I want to talk even deeper on the matter.

Joker has always been queer, he has been coded that way since his introduction. In the beginning it was assumed he wore makeup and he was flamboyant and somewhat "effeminate". Batman was supposed to be the opposite. Despite the fact the idea of The Batman is rather outlandish, and multiple people do comment on this in Batman comics, Batmans brand of outlandish is accepted because hes seen as the defender of the heteronormative agenda. He goes against the criminal, and otherwise queer joker to enforce heteronormative ideologies. He is a big intimidating man, and Joker is supposed to be just the opposite.

Of course, now there is more nuance and a bit more care put into these character, but the way theyre portrayed early on feels very much like Batman is fighting against somebody who goes against the Norms. I'm not saying that Batman is homophobic NOW, and I'm not even saying he was intentionally homophobic then, but the ideals of writers tend to show in their work, and it was the '40s.

Infact, I think Bruce has ALSO been used to show what it's like to be a repressed queer person. He's not ALLOWED to be queer with Joker because Jokers was is supposed to be the wrong way.

Bruce & Joker talk

B: "You're infected, too?" J: "I'll take that to mean we both are. Maybe they'll bury us together."

Already talk of them dying together (Thinking about Batman: Endgame so intensely rn). Joker may also be alluding to the way married couples are often buried together.

In general, Joker and Batman, after their initial scuffle, talk rather casually in this chapter. Not beating the bff allegations

We do get this at the end of the chapter:

Batman doesn't say it outright (as in literally saying "I need you, Joker"), but it is the truth. They've both been given different pieces of the puzzle and only by putting them together can they figure it out. Almost like a comment on how they're better together? Almost like a comment on the whole nature of their relationship and how they are dependent on one another???

Prague

We start off with Bruce talking about the history of Prague. Nina is now working with them, she is trying to lure out whoever it was that propositioned her to put the virus on Bruce's computer.

Nina is scared, and as she's speaking to Bruce about the Trojan Horse (the person who requested this of her) these wooden robots start to attack. Joker is faster than Batman at getting up and out of the sewers and kills a man.

Nina is taken by the robots, and Batman begins to fight them off with Jokers help. But Bruce can tell the wooden robots are actually leading them somewhere theyre supposed to go.

I'll speak on everything that happens to Nina now, because it cuts in and out of her and B&J's storyline for a second. She was taken by the associate of the perpetrator. It's implied she is to be killed, but the perpetrator kills his associate, thanking him for what he's done for him.

Joker is taken captivate by a gigantic wooden robot, as he's sucked into it's chest cavity. Batman chases after it, and uses a silane capsule to set it aflame. Because the thing is already covered in ancient grease and oil which doesn't pair well with burning gas the outcome is even more deadly. Batman is struck by the robot and goes black. He believes his time is up until Joker busts out of the robots chest cavity and saves Bruce. Since Joker tore the robot apart from the inside it's now extremely broken and easily taken down.

because Batman had a tracker on Nina's clothing, he knows that she is heading into Paris. So that will be their next destination!

Prague: B & J

When Joker and Batman are in the sewers, Joker is messing around with some insects.

Bruce brings up Joker

"With a partner... I'd be crazy to trust."

The thing is, and we see this later more explicitly, Bruce DOES Trust joker even if he shouldn't.

"Not yours or mine, but our fate."

This once again brings me back to Batman: Endgame. Their lives, their demises, are linked to eachother. Bruce is scared of this link, because it says something about him he doesn't quite like or want to explore behind surface level. This entire scenario is begging him to confront that idea though. Because he needs the Joker now, and perhaps he always has?

Batman & Joker dialogue:

B: "Joker-- save your strength." J: "instead of myself?" B: "Trust me-- there's too many of them-- and the way these things are fighting... they're directing us somewhere."

Ah, yes, Trust. A reoccurring idea in Europa! Of course Batman probably believes himself to be trustworthy, atleast more so than the Joker, but for the both of them trust doesn't come easy. It's a big ASK of either of them to put genuine faith into someone. But they ask that of eachother. HMMMMMM!!!!

Batman & Joker Dialogue

B: Show some respect-- you... you-- J: "Saved me." I'd say you're welcome but I'm less happy about that than you are. Anyway, save the "Thankee" until after I save Nina, it'll mean more. B: That won't happen...

This marks the first time in this comic that Joker saves Batman, and it seems to me that Joker plays this off as something he didn't ENJOY doing. but he does it again later? so like okay man???

Paris

Bruce & Joker are walking around in the catacombs, Joker is leading them to his "circus". When they get there, the people are able to give them some information on the Trojan Horse.

Once theyve gotten the info, Batman goes off only to find the man had been killed. He was just a pawn.

Batman and Joker head off towards the sound of a Bell only to find a man who is a combination of both the joker and batman (where have I seen this before? /sarcastic). Bruce asks Joker to rescue Nina and when Joker hesitates, Bruce scolds himself for trusting him.

Bruce slips off of the building they're on and Joker saves his life.

Joker tells Batman Nina was dead long before they got there. Batman puts clues together and is able to deduce where they are to go to next: Rome.

Paris: B & J

Batman 💭

" I'm out of my head, fevered, infected with a virus that's driving me crazy. What it's doing to the joker is your guess, not mine. He can't get crazier, can he? But that might be the point of our infection-- to see if I can. To lose it, then die unaware of who I am. Or to die, not fighting my greatest enemy, but clutching him against the face of fear. "

Something that I find rather fascinating is how we DON'T know how the virus is messing with Joker. Are the effects the same for Joker and Bruce? or are they completely different? Is it causing any mental strain for Joker or is it physical? Further more – is the virus less about hurting Bruce AND Joker or just Bruce? If Bruce already sees himself as somewhat crazy (as he insinuates) how much worse can it get? Is he already at the worst of it? If he questions who he is, why? Does the Joker have something to do with him questioning things?

Then there's that last line about clutching Joker against the face of fear. It feels like it's implying, atleast to me, that In that moment Joker would be a source of comfort for Bruce. And that SCARES him because of course it does. Does this lead to Bruce questioning more about his relationship with the Joker? If he already is questioning himself, and making up these scenarios, is it possible he's questioning more than just his identity?

Those are all questions I don't necessarily need answered, but all things I ask myself.

Joker is talking to Batman about his circus (the people he gets his information from about the Trojan horse):

B: This cirque. You still haven't explained what it is. J: What if I said I have, ad nauseam? Can you trust me? ... Relax, Bats. It's a hypothetical question. B: Heh. That's funny. J: Really? Wasn't meant to be. We're in this together if we want to live to see the day we kill each other.... oops. Should I have said "Spoilers"?

Once again a reference to trust, but this time about Bruce trusting Joker. And of course Bruce doesn't respond to this inquiry, and Joker says it's just a hypothetical, but we see how the idea prevails in the next quote.

Bruces 💭

"At one point, I almost chuckled to myself; Joker does know his way around the bowels of this city. Or bowels, period. Yes, I have to trust him... and yes it sickens me."

So Bruce puts his trust in Joker, no matter how much it upsets him to do so. Even if he doesn't like the idea, he knows the Joker is knowledgeable, and he also knows the Joker is more than willing to share what he knows because HE wants to be the one to kill Batman. He doesn't want someone else to get the satisfaction. He wants them to kill each other. Intrinsically linked death reference. I need a buzzer for that or something.

I edited 2 images tg for the next one ☝️ just so I don't go passed the pesky image limit. Sorry if it looks weird

So yeah... Joker holds onto Bruce and Bruce calls him "My Monkey" so idfk take with that what you will. Absolutely diabolical work.

Also just wanted to throw it in there that Joker does just straight up say "Batjoke" in this comic:

Bruce starts to slide off the building they're on and Joker saves him with the grappling hook.

Bruce's 💭

" I'll never know if he missed me on purpose... but the scar will forever remind me of the day... the joker saved my life. "

So yeah, despite the fact Joker acting annoyed last time at the fact he saved Bruce, he just does it again? I think at the end of the day, this ties into Jokers want to be the one to kill Batman, while also being the one to make Batman break his no killing rule. His life has no punchline without Batman, it would feel devoid of meaning. So he saves him.

Once Batman has deduced they need to get to Rome:

J: Oh well, might as well get on one of those roads. We're burning moonlight after all. Rome: The Infernal City. B: It's eternal, Joker. J: Really? Have you been? B: ... Let's stick with infernal. We'll fit right in.

I wanted to mention this because the mention of being "infernal" (or something from hell) struck me. In some Christian teachings (I do not know much Abt religion so forgive me if I mess this up), those who go to hell are people who have not repented for their sins. Batman and Joker have both "sinned" and while we can defend one (Bruce) easier than the other (Defending Joker would take 15 defense attorneys alone) this implies neither of them would seek repentance from God, as in they wouldnt regret their actions, or feel guilty or remorseful for what they've done. While this would be a clear "duh" moment for most anyone who knows the Joker (although we can still even debate this), some may wonder about why Bruce would feel no remorse.

And I think the simple answer is that he knows what good he has done and he wouldn't reject that idea to appease a higher power. I think specifically in relation to Joker, Bruce may regret letting him live because of the people he would have saved had Joker died, but he doesn't regret NOT KILLING Joker if that makes sense.

Rome

It opens with Bruce talking about the history of Rome. Joker and Bruce are bickering like an old married couple. They're approaching the colosseum and when they do a man approaches. He talks about how keeping a mask on prevents others from knowing who you truly are.

the big reveal!!!! ITS BANE! He is once again trying to fuck Batmans life up LOL! He wants to kill Joker in front of Batman while Batman knows Joker is the only thing that can cure the virus that's killing him. Bruce starts attacking Bane and when he's getting close to ending him, Joker plays a hunch, asking Bane to kill Bruce. This distracts Bane long enough for Bruce to signal bats to show up and attack Bane.

Bruce tells Joker that the cure is eachothers blood.

During the fight, Bane revealed that Joker had allowed Nina to die in front of him, and Bruce asks if this is true. Obviously, it is. Bruce genuinely considers letting them both die in that moment, but Joker takes it into his own hands and tastes some of Bruce's blood. In the end they go back to their classic dance (Batman beating Joker up).

Rome: B & J

HERE IT IS!!! A CULMINATION OF A LOT OF WHAT THE STORY HAS BEEN TELLING US! Of course, Batman NEEDS Joker in this moment to survive but it feels like a comment on their relationship as a whole. He had to realize that Joker is a main driving force for him, and without him, who is he really? Who would he become?

ONCE AAAGAAAINNN the idea of them dying together. Joker even DARES him to die alongside him. Their intertwined fates...

"And if the Joker is to live, then so must the Batman."

Literally tied together. Invisible string type of shit. Batman won't allow one to exist without the other here.

and then of course:

and yeah man WOAH. Let's talk about blood consumption. Vampires, and therefore by association, the consumption of blood as a whole, is something that has been used in queer text many times before (look at my last post if you wanna see more on that and how it relates to Batman). Of course we can take it a step further and think about it as strictly a bodily fluid. They have consumed parts of eachother now. When I originally typed this up, I believe I called it akin to the "consummation of a marriage". They've sworn themselves to each other by LITERALLY having parts of themselves inside each other.

During the beginning of this chapter, and previous chapters, before the introduction of where they are, we sometimes would get this set of images.

OUR BLOOD ON EACH OTHERS LIPS? without the context, this borders on undeniably romantic (I mean even in context lol?). Your immediate thought is, did they kiss? is there going to be an implied kiss? And I think that was definitely on purpose.

this comes from the scripting for this comic if I recall correctly

so we LITERALLY get

"they look ready to either kiss or strangle each other with passion"

it's clear this IS supposed to be explicitly queer in some way. Strangulation and romantic gestures almost feel the same with them. Strangling each other is as close as they will get to kissing, as long as Bruce stays repressed, and so they are to kiss with their hands around each other's throats forever.

I'd also like to point out the phrasing "But I'm ready to go all the way... and do it." clearly vague and 99% of the time (not a real statistic LMAO) when people say "do it" they're alluding to sex. This feels like an obvious allusion to them having sex.

And at the end Batman begins to fight the Joker, because of course he does. The curing of their shared virus has forced him back into a repressed state. So he hurts him and they continue their usual dance, as if the disruption to their game never occured.

[graveyardzhift]

since i’m actually thinking about it today, i’m gonna talk about my very not-canon-compliant fake Mario & Luigi fangame

LINK TO THE CARRD WITH MORE INFO AND ART!!!

it’s viewed better on pc but im not stopping you

yea i know what you’re thinking and i PROMISE THERE IS A REASON FOR MAGICALLY BRINGING BACK ALL OF THE VILLAINS (it’s also because i miss them but there is a legit reason)

here’s where it gets long, so if you hate reading:

TL;DR, Alien kingdom is destroyed except for the king (King Galivus), his daughter (Princess Europa) and the royal advisor (Obriel). Galivus is separated from the two and doesn’t actually know they’re alive. The king speedruns thru like 4 stages of grief but he can’t accept this so he wants to rebuild his entire kingdom DIRECTLY on top of the Mushroom Kingdom.

oh and he’s only there in the first place because to rebuild his kingdom he needs dark energy and magic which he gets from reanimating the previous m&l villains since their souls are a potent source of dark magic. he promises them a new and better world (and a second chance at fighting the Mario Bros.) but in the end he’s only going to use them for their power to get back his family and his subjects and then discard them

bowser is the only one that isnt coerced into king galivus’ bullshit so he the bros team up with the princess of voidspell to stop her dad from destroying the world yadda yadda

yeah, that was the tldr now get ready for the big guns (longer and more detailed version)

King Galivus (new guy beside Fawful in the image) was once the noble king of a distant kingdom out in space, the Voidspell Kingdom. That is, until it was destroyed by a rogue Starswallower; colossal space wyrms closely related to Blarggs that are thought of as deities across the galaxy. Galivus was thought to be the only survivor, and so he reluctantly fled through a portal before he could be caught in the falling debris. This coincidentally led him all the way across space to— you guessed it— the Mushroom Kingdom.

Before he arrived, Galivus rashly decided that he would bring back his fallen kingdom at any cost. For that, he would need a tremendous amount of dark energy. Which is why he headed directly to the Mushroom Kingdom— he had picked up on such a powerful energy signal, and a dark one at that. It was clear, this was the place to rebuild. The energy signal is actually remnants of Mario’s past foes, Cackletta, Fawful, The Shroob Princesses, and Antasma. Their very souls are brewing with dark energy, a perfect source of power. With all this magic combined, it would be enough to rebuild the entirety of Voidspell AND bring back Galivus’ loved ones.

So, he does the sensible thing, and uses his Twisted Staff to revive each villain. Some are reluctant to go along with his scheme, and others are ecstatic to be alive/in working order again and will gladly go along with Galivus’ plan. In exchange for their cooperation, he promises a nice little spot for them in his new world… and another chance at exacting their revenge on the Mario Bros.

What Galivus wasn’t aware of, was that there were two other survivors; the royal advisor and the princess of Voidspell, Galivus’ own daughter. They had escaped to the Mushroom Kingdom in a separate portal, out of Galivus’ reach. The queen and the rest of the castle’s inhabitants had been lost, but with Princess Europa alive, there was a chance at bringing Galivus back down to earth and stopping his selfish acts. She and the royal advisor, Obriel, seek out Mario and Luigi to help stop Galivus from destroying the Mushroom kingdom, its neighboring countries, and possibly the entire planet.

Also, Queen Jaydes certainly isn’t happy about Cackletta (and the rest of the villains, but mostly her cuz she’s died like two times now) being let off the hook so easily. Her and the bean witch definitely still have beef with each other.

There’s probably a lot that I missed or haven’t written down yet, but that’s most of it!! If you’ve taken the time to read all that, i love you <3 HAHAHA

[finligz]

Alright, time for my opinion on Solarballs ships

I’d like to start by saying that no matter what fandom I join I tend to only support the official or canon ships. The reasons for that are:

1. I’m not a fan of romantic stuff as a whole, even makes me terribly uncomfortable sometimes

2. I just can’t imagine relationships in my head, so I need something to guide me like a text or better some type of imagery which is usually non-existent or poorly executed when unofficial. So the canon ships are easier for me to understand by default

3. I’m too into friendship or family dynamics, when I see characters who aren’t a couple I already imagine them in those types of settings, so the ships with them don’t make sense to me anymore

But even with all that I can say that I’m not really against most of the ships. Some of them even seem cute and a few of them I even ship myself, tho it’s rare

So today in this post I wanna state my unwanted opinion about the most popular ships in the Solarballs fandom.

Let’s start with the +- canon ones

1. Astrodude x his wife

Literally one the cutest married couples on media that I’ve ever seen. They just support each other all the time no matter what, and you can see how they care about each other. And even when so far away they still keep in touch and love each other

2. Ganymede x Europa

No matter how badly they behave in the story and how awful some of their decisions were, they still seem like they’re made for each other. They seem more like a “long-term relationship” couple to me and I like it a lot, the way they’re not as lovey-dovey and actually accept each other the way they are is very refreshing tbh. I like how Europa doesn’t try to make Ganymede change his beliefs just for the sake of her own and vice-versa, just reminding him sometimes that they’re together ahahah

3. Pluto x Charon

Alright, this one is my favourite in the whole show. They are VERY cute and I like how Charon tries to cheer up Pluto and support him when he feels awful. And even when they don’t understand each other, they stay nice and open minded usually (except when Pluto is ranting about himself and planets). They’re like a couple that grew together and it’s awesome

4. Titan x Titania

I don’t know how I feel about this. They just seem quite too different. And too awkward. Titania probably liked how confident Titan seemed and now has a crush on him in the show, but Titan just doesn’t strike me as a person ready to be in a relationship. He’s too invested in the whole system’s politics rn. I can picture him awkwardly frendzoning anyone who’s gonna confess to him. Maybe in the future this might work in a way like: “we accomplished everything we fought for and now can be together”. Also I think Titan would be too demanding for Titania to feel comfortable, she needs someone more gentle

Now moving on to most popular unofficial ships

Here besides my opinion on the ship I’ll also tell how I personally see interactions between these characters

5. Jupiter x Saturn

This actually seems very nice and cute in a way. Like a married couple maybe? At least when they bicker in the show they kinda give off that vibe. They could work as a couple. Saturn is very sensitive and protective and Jupiter needs support and seems like a patient guy, so they match well!

Personally I picture them more like old friends that rarely gather together anymore but are still close and supportive

6. Callisto x Triton

Maybe that could work? Both of them seem like adults with strong opinions on life and stuff. They might have something in common, but they are too different in my opinion still. Triton strives for freedom and lack of responsibility, while Callisto wants someone to lead her so she won’t have to be responsible. And even if some might say that Callisto changed in the show, I really don’t think so. Also I don’t think they’ll do great with long-distance relationships. For both of them it will be too much unnecessary work to maintain such relationships

I think that Triton sees Callisto as his first friend and that’s why he cares so much. It just doesn’t seem like he knows what to do and how to act. Callisto could also think of Triton as a friend, although maybe just a good acquaintance for now

7. Mars x Earth

It could work? I mean they are best friends and Mars clearly cares about Earth a lot, so he tries to not be too judgemental or put too much pressure on him. Earth also cares about Mars. I’ll just remind you how he made the whole tournament just so Mars will get back to him. So yeah, this seems like a bromance ship in a way, which means it works fine. Friends to lovers shift could happen in this case, although I don’t think they’ll be all lovey-dovey like many people portray them

I see them as best friends just as in the show

8. Earth x Venus

This doesn’t work imo. Venus is too aggressive and communicates poorly. By that I mean that Venus in the show doesn’t seem like a person with a lot of social skills or even experience. The fact that he didn’t know how to play asteroid dodgeball until the tournament tells us about how he didn’t communicate with Earth and Mars a lot. He doesn’t seem like the guy to understand romantic love. Earth on the other hand doesn’t care about Venus much and is too dominant. Even if he confessed to Venus and Venus agrees (not exactly knowing if he actually liked Earth), they would get irritated with each other as they’re both too stubborn and closed off.

I see them as acquaintances at the moment with a lot of actual friendship potential

9. Uranus x Earth

Just no. Even if you’re going to reason that by telling how it’s “canon in mythology”, it doesn’t have anything to do with the actual show. Even if they seem cute enough together, like a shy x confident dynamic and even knowing how similar their current problems are (too afraid to say something wrong/be themselves), it’s just too out of their comfort zones. Uranus is an introvert, maybe even with a sprinkle of sociophobia and he’ll feel very awkward in any relationship. He’ll say some stuff he doesn’t mean and will feel terrible about himself afterwards. Earth in those situations would probably want to push it and sometimes could embarrass Uranus even more. Also I’ll remind you that Earth and Uranus barely know each other. Long distance relationships also would be hard as Earth can’t leave the Goldilocks zone and Uranus probably wouldn’t want to go through 3 other planets’ orbits just to visit Earth.

I don’t see them interacting much.

10. Luna x Titan

This could work. Seems like a pretty serious ship with them both being very thoughtful and pragmatic. Maybe sometimes flirty, but not much. They share some of their opinions. Luna is also very, VERY patient and supportive and Titan needs that as he tries to reach his goals. However, I think right now they have other stuff to worry about. But in the future? I think it will work nicely.

I personally see them as friends

11. Mercury x Sun

Too toxic. It has the vibes of Boss x helpless employee which I’m very uncomfortable with. I don’t think that Sun could seriously love one of his planets romantically and Mercury wouldn’t want to date someone who literally hurts him all the time and demands constant attention. Just no. I don’t understand nor do I want to understand this one.

I see them only as friends. Maybe a bit one-sided with Mercury questioning this friendship

Alright, I think I covered the majority of the popular ships.

Again I’d like you to know that I don’t hold anything against you if you ship anything listed above, cause it wholly depends on people’s tastes.

If you want me to answer any of your questions there’s a button for them in my profile. See ya!

[max1461]

One of the annoying types of guy is people who have just accepted the great filter hypothesis for the Fermi paradox and thus are always like "I hope we don't find (complex) life on Europa because that would mean the great filter is sometime after the development of (complex) life which means we're definitely in for some kind of extinction event". There are honestly just so many unjustified assumptions that go into claiming this with any confidence. Like, I don't know, maybe. But maybe not. It's just such a specific claim made about something we know so little about, that frankly half the time seems to be supported mostly by a kind of free-wheeling rule of cool approach to epistemology.

[beauty-funny-trippy]

Put Your Name On THIS Spacecraft!

Hey Everybody, NASA is sending a spacecraft to Jupiter to study the possibility of life on one of its moons (Europa). They're engraving names to be put on the spacecraft. If you know anyone who would like to have their name put on a spacecraft and sent to Jupiter (free of charge), here's the link: NASA.

I just found out about it today, and TODAY (12/31/23) is the LAST DAY to add a name to the list.

Update — I checked today (Jan 7, 2024), and they're still accepting names! They must have extended the deadline.

[orange-fresh]

I like how all of the moons actually addressed EVERYTHING in that one scene. Yes, it's wrong to exclude Ganymede and Europa. They have soft sides too, just like EVERYONE else in the show. They just showed the more silly parts of themselves during that arc.. Ganymede and Europa actually cared!!! They did!! But the fandom isn't ready to hear that idfk

I frfr hope we get to see conflict, and then Luna and Titan accepting the differences between them and Gany&Eur in leading a collective y'know.. gang

Yes!!! We all get morally grey characters and we get to see the moons of Jupiter all actually understanding each other on an emotional level this means so much to me that they're a family unit yesssss💥💥💥

The new episode was cute be fr ∞/10 💗💗💗

[tarakanpaintedpurple]

Tell me about your oc's

-Guardian Healthcare

Wait

-Guardian Headcanons

FINALLY I CAN RAMBLE ABOUT MY GUARDIANS

So i have two of them for now, a solar hunter named Venik and a stasis hunter Nezabud-17.

Venik

Venik is a human solar hunter. She was resurrected at the Tangled Shore and spent a big portion of her life as Spider‘s dark horse. She escaped, thanks to her Eliksni friend - Amiks - and ghost, Rudd-i (and also two other characters whom i have no art of (yet)).

Upon arrival to the Last City, she mainly made glimmer in Crucible, where she met Nezabud-17. Although they became acquaintances, they didn’t have the chance to become friends until Venik rescued Nezabud from the Hive lair on Titan.

(Small fact: after his rescue from the Hive lair, there was some time before Nezabud acquired his prosthetics, so Venik volunteered to help him get around, and did so by giving him piggyback rides)

Nowadays, Venik main source of glimmer is racing outside of the City and Crucible, although she accepts vanguard missions when paired with Nezabud.

(She also pronounces her Ks and Ss very loudly and distinctively)

Nezabud-17

Nezabud is an ex-solar hunter, who now uses stasis. He was resurrected on Venus and had to hastily get to the Last City, as he and his ghost Fern were noticed by the Vex. In the Last City, Nezabud-17 quickly became full of himself, which led to him making rash decisions, such as:

• almost abandoning his ghost

• using his solar energy in a slapdash manner

• and generally being an ass

All of this almost got Nezabud killed by the Hive, when his solar suddenly gave out, leaving him almost lightless. He was rescued by Venik, and through the series of healing and rethinking his life choices, he managed to get back on his feet and acquire stasis as his new power.

(Small fact: although Nezabud is a stasis user and lives mainly in his base on Europa, he taught Venik how to master her solar abilities, which helped with her spontaneous combusting)

Now, Nezabud-17 is way more humble and approachable, way more considerate of Fern. And also tries to find a way to “win” Traveler’s approval and get his solar abilities back.

(He also has a russian accent. Neither he nor Fern know where it came from.)

Thank you very much for this ask :D

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for February 25, 2017; #133.

Specials, The “A Message To Rudy”

Smiths, The “Accept Yourself”

Nina Hagen “Smack Jack”

Buzzcocks “Time’s Up”

Jah Wobble “Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life”

Kraftwerk “Europa Endlos”

X-Ray Spex “I Am A Poseur”

Can “Tape Kebab”

Pere Ubu “Blow Daddy-O”

Lydia Lunch “Spooky”

David Bowie “Starman”

Gary Numan “Cars”

Suicide “Diamonds, Fur Coat & Champagne”

Lizzy Mercier Descloux “Fire”

Rosa Yemen “Herpes”

Damned, The “Dozen Girls”

Public Image Ltd. “Rise”

Sid Vicious “Something Else”

Adverts, The “Bored Teenagers”

Raincoats, The “Go Away / No Side To Fall In” (live)

Leonard Cohen “Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-On”

Talking Heads “Same As It Ever Was”, “Wild Wild Life”

Cars, The “Shake It Up”

Martin Rev “River Of Tears”

Lou Reed “No Money Down”

Velvet Underground & Nico “Heroin”

Deluxe marquee and standards broadcast.

[stuckasmain]

Dave’s old life is cast aside and he is reborn (semi-literally) as a star child. It is an ending that has left many baffled, including me, but is ultimately a touching end and beginning.

Dave ends the story an evolved being, yet not so far detached from his human origin. He still has a great deal of emotion and curiosity - he becomes a baby because he simply is one when it comes to understanding the universe. He could go anywhere, do anything and yet he goes to earth. He goes and watches over it like a shiny toy, while his physical ties have been severed he’s still attached to it- almost like a mother, if we stay with the baby metaphor.

Eventually he will move on from it but for now he is a protector of sorts. The guardian of earth. He stops the bomb not for his own sake but because he simply wants humanity to continue on- he stops a potential doomsday!

It’s too bad this is completely uprooted in the following bits of the series. He is “beyond” emotion, he is on Europa. I would be fine if the evolution or planet was focused on even remotely besides the same few paragraphs, he’s transformed and cast aside. All of the prior meaning is rebuked, all of his humanity removed. See it wasn’t the transformation that did it but the story itself— as it decided to pivot and couldn’t just have him watching. He must be a blank slate. He must be elsewhere- he can’t even enjoy watching the other planet or if he does we don’t really hear of it.

Dave becomes more of a plot device than a person, as a star child there’s so many facinating things you could do with him. For one thing a dressing the trauma that came from that and before, and — again either guardian of earth - self chosen- or we actually see his involvement elsewhere. He becomes a just as much of a tool as the monolith.

Not only is his humanity stripped but his agency, in 2010 he describes himself as a dog on a leash a good number of times. While I absolutely adore that metaphor, it’s so tragic and not even acknowledged as such?! (Again so much could be considered cosmic horror and it’s either had waved or blankly accepted) he went from a near omnipotent being to LOSING LARGE CHUNKS OF TIME AND BEING USED AS A PROBE. He’s suddenly beyond humanity when he was so attached before; he becomes apathetic incredibly fast. (Which, as a immortal being is understandable but it’s absolutely unearned and not in character) -> my issue isn’t with him becoming a tool of some higher power it’s that it’s sort of hand waved “it is how it is” and not addressed how messed up and interesting it is.

Now I’ve yet to read 3001 but my point here broadly stands. I fully believe it should’ve ended after 2010, as it comes across as very very clear it was a two book story and 2061 is a whole separate one with some characters tossed into it.

Arcs were over. There was a bit more explanation as to what happened in the first one; we got closure alongside Heywood. Things were set up for the future but it was more in a way for you to view them as fully developed not exactly a sequel. (Like the Hal 10,000 idea). It’s frustrating because Dave as a Starchild can lead to so many interesting things and it was a beautiful idea in 2001 but … after that it mistreats and mischarectetizes Him so fast in a way that frustrates me to no end. Maybe if there was an actual focus or exploration I could understand the direction but making him a cut out god figure is such a sad end.

A child of the stars still clinging to its former life, its humanity…

Oh what could have been. I’d like to imagine Dave would’ve never completely… not been Dave, yes over centuries he may subdue emotions, his interest may waver but what we get is a name and maybe some memory.

—

Clarification:

I fully enjoy 2010, my issues with Dave in that are minimal just that it’s a little sad he swaps guardianship but I can understand. I was excited and interested in Europa… only for that too also get sort of ignored.

There’s also some interesting points to come out of 2061 - how the monolith works, conversing with Hal and he does seem to have a genuine interest in study but it’s also where he’s sort of a name drop and little else

It’s the stripping him of his emotion and character that really gets me - as it’s a route that isn’t earned as Clark absolutely does not write about trauma or if he does it’s a off handed “ok so everyone dying and the monolith was a little scary but now I’m blue and don’t care” it’s even true for human characters idk

I pick and choose what I want to keep from the further books honestly, we’ll see if 3001 fixes this or if this rant grows longer. I’m just sad, Dave’s such a fascinating character and he’s so mistreated?

[callistosposts]

New sb episode 🔥🔥🔥

The episode was ok ig, instead of telling that Ganymede is insecure and that Europa takes care of the little moons they should have shown it yk show not tell but otherwise it was an ok episode, the moons accepted that they did some bad things and they used Titania in the episode LESGOO ( I love her they should do more w her)

i think it was fun, i agree they should've shown Europa taking care of the little ones, but regarding ganymedes insecurities i think it's been pretty clear from the start hes hesitant on most things

excited to see what they cook up for the next part, i love my Ganymede and Europa content - "evil" couple of the century fr

[clockwork-reveries]

I finished 2010: The Year We Make Contact and I think it was a pretty great sequel to the first movie. Though I have read the book before. Though I did wish the Tsien had a brief appearance to explain more of the mysterious life that was on Europa due to the chlorophyll, I suppose I understand. After all, not all adaptations can fit everything in. I don't particularly understand the significance of Maxim dying at the end aside from showing the increasing danger of the Monolith, but I also got reminded that Max and Walter's friendship was profound albeit brief. The way Starchild Dave revealed himself to Floyd was great. And don't forget the whole final interaction between Hal and Chandra. To have to leave behind your son, just after getting him back, and in return for HAL to accept and make the sacrifice, without ever remembering what happened at the Discovery initially. Not to mention how it's implied in the 3rd book Chandra couldn't live without him...

What I don't understand is how little I've seen people talk about it! It's good! I don't think i would know a second movie existed if I didn't see a small amount of popular people I follow on tumblr talk about it. I mean well, yes, it came out around 16 years after the original, I completely understand. Did it just seem unnecessary to some to add onto a story that already had its end?

I would also like to hear others' opinions on the movie.

[crispy0nion]

hello it is now time for me to inflict YOU with the explaining lore to a new player curse. Essentially, this is an invitation to infodump about your favorite guy.

I've been hearing/reading a lot about Cayde-6 throughout the game (and Ikora made me watch his death), but who is he? What's his deal?

Oh this is fantastic. Get ready for a full essay (under the cut so I don't clog up people's dashes). I tried to link some relevant lore tabs, but still i recommend reading at least The Man They Called Cayde, or to just skim through the Cayde-6 section of the Ishtar Collective website.

Cayde-6 was the sixth Hunter Vanguard, a position widely considered to be cursed as all previous Hunter Vanguards have either died or gone MIA (Tallulah Fairwind, killed by an Ahamkara; Caliban-8, MIA; Aparajita-4, MIA; Kauko Swiftriver, went MIA and was later declared dead; Andal Brask, killed by Taniks The Scarred; Cayde-6, killed by Uldren Sov). The position is currently empty, but it is heavily implied that Crow will step up as the new Hunter Vanguard soon.

Now, let's try to go in order of events. Like all Exos, Cayde used to be a human during the Golden Age. He was a soldier, and it is likely that he had a gambling problem (a habit he retained in his Guardian life): simply put, he had a big debt hanging over his head. That's when Clovis Bray, the creator of Exos, approached him with a job offer. The reason Clovis approached him is because people like Cayde were exactly what BrayTech needed for the Exo Project: disposable and with their backs to the wall. Cayde accepted to essentially give his body to the Project in exchange for his debts to be cleared. The job offer itself was never explicited, but Cayde recounts being kidnapped and brought to Europa. This was around the time the Collapse happened.

We don't know everything that happened in his lives from 1 to 6. We know that for most of his lives before becoming a Guardian, he worked for BrayTech, first as a generic worker and later as a guard. This is where he had his first (and only, probably) interaction with Micah Abram, who at the time was a chid. Micah is a lore-only Exo Hunter, now known as Micah-10, known for her role as the 'mother-hen of Ghosts' - she protects upaired Ghosts from the Ghost Hunter, Cyrell. But why is Micah relevant to Cayde's story? Well, Cayde-6 would often mention how he used to have a son when he was human, as well as a wife. He refers to the kid as 'Ace', and to the woman as simply the Queen of Hearts. He talks about her in a TTK mission to retrieve his stash, and some of his journal entries are written as letters for his son - he also worked with Banshee-44 to craft a gun inspired by him, his Ace of Spades.

The interaction that Cayde-1 had with Micah - who, being a trans woman, was at the time a little boy - caused him to retain fragmented memories of a child in his current Guardian life. I recommend reading the lore tabs about their encounter (both Micah's POV and Cayde's POV). The following letter from Micah's POV also mentions how immediately after Cayde picked her up, he was deactivated.

So, the fragmented memories he retained from this interaction where what he based off this delusion of having a son, because yes, both his wife and son never existed, and Cayde himself admits to making them up as a coping mechanism in the last entry of his journal.

But if Micah Abram was his Ace, who was his Queen? Easy: Maya Sundaresh.

Maya Sundaresh was a Golden Age scientist who worked for the Ishtar Collective on Venus, and collaborated with Clovis on an occasion. She's also the founder of Neomuna, on Neptune. Cayde (between 2 and 6) was part of the batch of Exos who Clovis assigned to work as guards for Dr. Sundaresh during their collaboration. That's when Cayde first met her, and to say he was down bad would be an understatement. Unfortunately for him, Dr. Sundaresh was not only a psycho, but also a married lesbian. She never even acknowledged him, but still he fell in love with her. The memory of this feeling stayed with him through the resets and his death, and he contructed the memory of the Queen of Hearts over that.

As far as I know, we don't have any information regarding Cayde's death, other that he was resurrected near a cliff. After freaking out, running off the cliff and being revived again, he found on his person a journal, potentially the same one he keeps using in his Guardian life. Cayde believes his past self (specifially, Cayde-5) wrote and left this journal to guide him, to prevent him from taking the wrong path and becoming Cayde-7 - something he seemed to be absolutely against. Side note, but I find that to be an extremely interesting detail since Bungie's own signature is the number 7.

Regarding his years before becoming Vanguard, we know Cayde has been around for at least 126 years, probably more. He used to run with a group of Hunters, his 'crew': Andal Brask, Shiro-4 and Tevis Larsen. A fifth member, Lush, would also join them sometimes, being Shiro's protégé. Of these five members of the Hunter crew, Shiro is the only one currently alive. Andal was killed by Taniks before the game events, Tevis died at the hands of the Vex during TTK, and Lush lost his Ghost the first time the crew ran into Taniks, then died on a solo mission later on.

Cayde was especially close with Andal, referring to him as his best friend and brother. If you recall, Andal was also the Hunter Vanguard before Cayde; this actually is something that happened because of the Exo. Hunters have this thing called 'The Dare'; every Hunter Vanguard needs to have their own, since the Dare is what estabilishes how the next Vanguard has to be chosen. The Vanguard that came before Andal, Kauko Swiftriver, went missing for two years, later being declared dead, and his Dare was never found. For this reason, The Speaker - who created the first Dare together with Tallulah Fairwind - told the Hunters to figure it out and find a new Vanguard.

One evening, after the crew had already had their first run in with Taniks - an Eliksni mercenary, who claimed many Guardian lives - Andal and Cayde got drinking, and in the heat of the moment they made a bet, their own Dare: if one of them found and killed Taniks, the other had to step up and become Vanguard. They didn't think much of it, until Cayde actually killed Taniks first (side note: 'killed' isn't completely right. Taniks keeps coming back, and even after we killed him in the DSC raid there is a chance he is still alive). Andal, being a man of his word, became Vanguard; and Cayde wasn't happy about it, because it's a time consuming job, so Andal now spent significantly less time with the crew.

Now Taniks, after somehow escaping death, finds and kills Andal. Because of this, Cayde feels obliged to take the role of Hunter Vanguard. He also goes on a rampage, and quite violently kills Taniks again. He begins wearing Andal's cloak, and officially becomes the Hunter Vanguard we all know and love.

Cayde had always been one to constantly crack jokes and use humor to cover up all the ugly things, and Andal's death, followed some time later by Tevis's, only reinforced that. In addition to that, the job of Vanguard comes with a price: you can rarely leave the Tower. This was especially true for Cayde, considering he was both a known troublemaker and potentially in danger for filling the Hunter Vanguard position (after five consecutive deaths, anyone would get a bit paranoid), and it was something that bothered him deeply.

During the events of D1 and D2 up to Forsaken, he does... many things. Like blowing up Eris's ship in order to get the Guardian on the Dreadnaught during TTK. Overall, none of these are worth mentioning, considering this post is already very long.

What I want to talk about next are the events of Forsaken, starting from about one in-game year before the game events. The comicbook 'Cayde's Six' is a good starting point: Cayde was tasked by Petra Venj with hunting the Fallen Barons, who under the command of a corrupted Uldren Sov had been causing chaos on The Reef. His task was to find them and bring them to the Prison of Elders. To do this he assembles a small team (Suraya Hawthorne, Banshee-44, Jin, Nadiya and Petra Venj); they eventually succeed in their goal, even imprisoning the Forsaken Prince himself. Fast-forward to a year later, the events of Forsaken unfold: Uldren Sov and his Barons, now Scorn, escape the Prison of Elders, leaving behind a dead Cayde, who only died because he happened to stand in their way (it's unlikely that Uldren held any resentment as he was... very out of it, probably too much to care about anything but Mara).

This later caused the Young Wolf to go on a rampage, finding and killing all the Barons and Uldren himself (a very nice parallel to the Taniks-Andal situation). Forsaken also brought a new exotic hand cannon: the Ace of Spades, Cayde's beloved weapon. The quest to obtain this weapon, Ace in the Hole, is quite interesting: the YW has to travel across the system to find Cayde's secret stashes, that he specifically left for when he would die. These chests, other than parts to repair Ace, also contain recorded messages, each adressed to a different character. Eris, Taniks, Drifter, Petra, 'the minds behind the DSC', Hawthorne, 'any hunter who kills him' (which he speculates could be Marcus Ren), Zavala, Ikora, and the Young Wolf. Ten messages for ten meaningful people, in all senses. He left them with the intention of having these people listen to them in case they were the ones to kill him. They are very interesting, I recommend looking them up (here's Byf's video, where he also does a bit of analysis).

Many things emerge from these messages, but there's only three that i wanna talk about: Petra's, the voices's and Ikora's messages.

Petra's message is highlighted by the presence of an encrypted message Cayde asks Petra to relay to someone called 'Paladin Oran'. This 'Paladin Oran' is actually an Awoken code to indicate that the next thing he will say is a secret message. The message essentially boils down to the sentence 'It's on Enceladus'. To this day, we still don't know what is on Enceladus. The most popular theory is that Cayde thought the DSC was there, since it was only rediscovered on Europa after his death.

The message he adresses to 'the minds behind the Deep Stone Crypt' introduces us to the Long Slow Whisper, something all Exos seem to be affected by as a side-effect of, well... being an Exo. Long story short, it's the voice of the Darkness: the reason Exos hear it almost constantly is because Clovis used Clarity, a power born from Darkness, to create them. We discover much more about Exos, the LSW, Clarity and the DSC during Beyond Light.

Lastly, Ikora's message. Not much to say, other than how heart shattering it is. In most messages, Cayde still maintained his humorous personality, however this one is the only one adressed to an ally in which Cayde unmasks. He knows Ikora sees through his facade anyways, and since he's dead, he might as well be honest. Here, he admits to thinking most people dislike him; he is convinced Ikora hates him, and makes sure to specify how 'it wasn't mutual'.

Once you find all 10 caches, you unlock the Ace of Spades, and Cayde's story ends there. He says in the message adressed to the YW that every story has it's end, and this is his. He instructs us to burn his journal and move on. And that's all. At least it was until a year ago, when Bungie released the TFS Teaser Trailer, officially bringing back Cayde for this last stand against Darkness.

As we recently discovered from the Unforseen Consequences Ship's lore tab, it is very likely that he was actually brought back because of a wish Crow accidentally made to an unnamed Ahamkara (likely Riven), disguised as Mara. This means that the chances of Cayde fading away at the end of the TFS campaign are very high, but I guess we'll find out on the 4th!

This is all I got. Anyone who reached the end, feel free to add to this if you noticed I missed something.

[warframestuff]

ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2024

SHAM-ROCK AND ROLL WITH CORPUS EVENTS, DARVO DEALS AND MORE IN MARCH!

Fancy wearing green all month long rather than just a day or two? You're in luck, Tenno — we're celebrating St. Patrick's Day in the Origin System throughout March! There'll be charming Corpus Weekend Alerts, Darvo Deals, a returning Shamrock Color Palette and loads more available until it's all clover!

CORPUS WEEKEND ALERTS

Three separate Corpus Alerts will be playable each weekend in March, yielding good fortune to anyone who partakes! There are returning items such as the Gauss In Action Glyph and Teshin Glyph, along with the all-new, all-elegant Rapier Tributaker Skin! Check out the tables below for a comprehensive breakdown of when and where each Mission will occur.

CORPUS WEEKEND #1

When: March 1 at 11 a.m. ET to March 4 at 11 a.m. ET Location: Venus, E Gate Mission Type: Exterminate Faction: CorpusEnemy Level: 20-25 Enemy Count: 100+ Rewards: 30,000 Credits, Teshin Glyph

CORPUS WEEKEND #2

When: March 8 at 11 a.m. ET to March 11 at 11 a.m. ET Location: Jupiter, IO Mission Type: Defense Faction: Corpus Enemy Level: 20-25 Enemy Count: 10 waves Rewards: 30,000 Credits, Gauss In Action Glyph

CORPUS EXTENDED WEEKEND #3

When: March 15 at 11 a.m. ET to March 25 at 11 a.m. ET Location: Europa, Morax Mission Type: Mobile Defense Faction: Corpus Enemy Level: 35-40 Rewards: 30,000 Credits, Rift Sigil, Rapier Tributaker Skin

CORPUS-THEMED DARVO DEALS

It wouldn't be a starry celebration without our old pal Darvo swooping in and offering you some of his iconic deals. Visit his shop on any Relay or the in-game Market for up to 35% off Corpus-themed treasures like the Arca Plasmor, Cycron, Falcor and plenty more! He still only accepts Platinum despite the occasion, though — so leave those gold pieces at home.

IN-GAME MARKET ADDITIONS

Several previously available Supporter Packs are also coming to the in-game Market permanently this month! Pick up the New War Tribute Pack to receive a sleek Ravurex Gunblade Skin, Narmer Color Pallette, Archon Nira Glyph and Archon Nira Sigil. There'll also be an Zariman Tribute Pack and Deimos Tribute Pack for anyone looking to up their Fashion Frame game.

SHAMROCK COLOR PALETTE

If you missed out on the Shamrock Color Palette from previous years, you're in luck — it'll once again be available via the in-game Market for 1 Credit from now until March 25 at 11 a.m. ET! Give your favorite Warframes that green sheen that shows you're a clover, not just a fighter.

POT OF PLATINUM GIVEAWAY

It wouldn't be St. Patty's Day without testing your luck. Enter the Pot of Platinum Giveaway between now and March 18 to see if you're one of three lucky Tenno that'll take home some extra Platinum!

[akallabeth-joie]

Girl Genius Pre-Canon Timeline

I just binge-read through the archives again, and decided to finally sort though all the time cues we get for the 20-odd years before the story starts. Years are based on the date on Klaus Barry Heterodyne's memorial, in conjunction with Agatha's age, and a lot of "it's been X years" remarks made during flashbacks. I'm only using information from the webcomic, since I don't have the novels on hand.

Late 1869- mid 1870: Lucrezia Mongfish accepts Bill Heterodyne's proposal; disappearance of Klaus Wulfenbach

?1870?: Birth of Gilgamesh Wulfenbach*

?1871?: Birth of Tarvek Sturmvoraus*

1872: Birth of Bill and Lucrezia's eldest child, Klaus Barry Heterodyne (2 years 3 months after Klaus Wulfenbach's disappearance)

Before 1873: Birth of Theopholous DuMedd, son of Serpentina Mongfish. His aunt Lucrezia attended his christening, which therefore must have taken place sometime before her disappearance.

1873 (or January 1874): The Other attacks Castle Heterodyne, killing Klaus Barry (age 407 days / 13 months) and 63 castle staff including Carson Von Mekkan's son (and possibly also Dr. Mongfish**). Disappearance of Lucrezia. Bill and Barry Heterodyne leave Mechanicsburg to fight the Other. Beginning of continent-wide warfare and chaos.

1874: Birth of Agatha Heterodyne (<9 months after attack on Castle Heterodyne, probably at least 4- 5 months after, since Lucrezia was apparently not showing at the time of her disappearance).

c.1874-1875: “A few years” after the destruction of Castle Heterodyne (per Carson), and “about 18 years” before the main story starts (per the authors in the now-defunct list of all characters appearing in the story), Bill & Barry Heterodyne disappear.

c.1875-77: Attacks from the Other stop shortly after the Heterodyne Boys disappear. Klaus Wulfenbach returns to Europa, builds the airship Castle Wulfenbach and ends the wars, making an empire in the process. At some point, he starts a school for the children of rulers and powerful sparks.

1877/8: TPU expedition to Castle Heterodyne, which lasts 6 months; during that time, Klaus Wulfenbach takes over Mechanicsburg

1878: Klaus Wulfenbach begins imprisoning troublesome sparks in Castle Heterodyne

?1878?: Gilgamesh Wulfenbach breaks through as a spark at age 8. Tarvek is sent home from Castle Wulfenbach at some point before this.

??At some point before 1879 (and probably after 1875) Barry returns with Agatha; they are constantly moving, and Barry keeps their identities a secret, even from his old friends.

1879: Agatha, age 5, begins to break through as a spark.

1881: Barry Heterodyne disappears again, leaving Agatha in the care of Adam & Lilith Clay in Beetleburg.

1889: Tarvek takes Tinka from Master Payne's circus and reverse-engineers her to make a clank body for his mortally-wounded sister Anevka.

1892: The Story Begins... (spring/summer 1892)

1894-5: The Story Resumes (deep winter, after a 2.5 year time-skip).

*I think the novelization mentions Gil being 22 when the story starts (which is the age listed on the fan wiki, no source cited), but it's been years since I read it, so here I'm sticking to the information in the comic itself. This is a rough estimate, since we don't have a ton to go on: we know that Gil was born during his father's exile and accompanied him back to Europa, which puts his birth year at no earlier than 1870 and no later than 1875. Gil is finished with college by time the story starts, suggesting that he is older than Agatha (who is 18 and still a student at that point), but he also appears to have returned to Castle Wulfenbach relatively recently (having run into none of his old friends, who also haven't noticed that a certain empty laboratory is now his flight lab). Around age 8, Gil was friends with Tarvek, which suggests they are probably of a similar age. If taken literally, Tarvek's remark about being ~3 years old when his father was collaborating with the Other (c.1874 and before) puts his birth year around 1871. Like Gil, Tarvek has finished college before the story starts, and was apparently back in Sturmhalten at least three years before the story.

**The lengthy but defunct character list has Dr. Mongfish dying in an attack on Castle Heterodyne. We only know of one such attack, though it's possible this refers to a separate, earlier event. However, his grandson Theo Dumedd's (fictional) story of the Heterodynes' disappearance puts Dr. Mongfish as alive up to that point--and while many parts of the timeline don't fit this fictional story, I think it's weak evidence that Dr. Mongfish didn't die or disappear conspicuously earlier.