#actual quote is from B99

[theotherbuckley]

*After a dangerous call*

Buck: Oh, thank god. My husband and my dad are here. I mean, Captain Dad. I mean, I know who my dad is. It's you. Hi, Eddie.

[blakbonnet]

actual scene from the show that was cut

[audhd-nightwing]

teen wolf as b99 quotes

*lydia’s party in s2*

lydia: why is no one having a good time? i specifically requested it.

***

isaac, to lydia: derek told me not to let him get hurt tonight, so i’ll keep him away from you.

later

stiles: have you seen lydia?

isaac: lydia died eight years ago.

***

derek: oh, are you and allison no longer…

scott: smushing booties?

derek: …yes that’s exactly how i was going to phrase my sentence, scott.

***

stiles: we gotta get to hospital and we gotta get there fast.

jackson: then i should drive.

scott: why you?

jackson: i have nothing to live for and i drive like it.

stiles: …okay, let’s do it.

***

stiles: all right, give me your hair-dryer.

allison: what?

stiles: don’t you carry one in your purse?

allison: have you ever met a human woman?

stiles: …*calls lydia*

lydia: hey, stiles.

stiles: hey. do you carry a hair-dryer in your purse?

lydia: of course. i’m not an animal.

***

stiles: you think you can just bully people, but you can’t. it’s not okay.

stiles: i’m the bully around here. ask anyone.

***

erica: i’m not a stone cold bitch.

erica: i’m a natural, beautiful presence.

***

stiles: do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?

***

peter: we can go to my apartment. no one knows where i live.

derek: i thought you had stiles over once.

peter: yeah, it was fun. i moved the next day.

peter: he would way too easily use that information against me.

stiles: he’s right, i would.

***

scott: stiles, i screwed up, big time.

stiles: scott, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

***

kira: ‘writing things down’ is nerdy!? what do you do?

malia: i just forget stuff like a cool person.

***

allison: you are disturbingly good at this.

lydia: i grew up forging report cards.

lydia: if people knew how smart i was, it would have been harder to control them.

***

stiles: are you a minor? how old are you?

liam: i’m 610. i’m a highlander.

stiles: okay, you know what? i’m gonna put that in there.

stiles: and then you’re gonna be tried as an adult highlander, and they’re gonna cut your head off.

***

erica: what do you look for in a guy?

stiles: i don’t know, real stuff. shape of his ass.

erica: yeah that tracks

***

scott: i straight up drove him off, big screw up on my part.

derek:

scott: i’m trying this new thing, where i just own my mistakes. i like it, do you?

derek: i did. until you bragged about it.

***

boyd: you searched for ‘cheapest date possible’.

stiles: and i wear that search like a badge of honor.

***

scott: wow, your handshake is quite firm.

kira: i took a seminar.

scott: where?

***

stiles: a parsec is actually a measure of distance. that’s one of the many inaccuracies in the ‘Star Wars’ universe.

malia: and what’s ‘Star Wars’?

stiles: oh boy.

***

scott: okay- no big deal, five days is nothing. i’m not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.

scott: my thoughts are awesome. die hard 6 on a cruise ship… pizza bagel restaurant…

scott: my father never loved me, i’m gonna die alone.

scott: oh boy, that escalated quick.

***

stiles: well, remember when you told me not to burn down the precinct?

sheriff stilinski: you burned down the precinct??

stiles: no, i had the fire put out almost immediately. this is a success story!

***

stiles: peter, this isn’t High School Musical.

scott: yeah, peter, this isn’t High School Musical 2.

stiles: yeah, and it isn’t High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

***

boyd: i’m fine at parties.

boyd: i just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.

***

derek: i only feel one emotion, and it’s anger.

isaac: last night you drunk-texted the whole pack a bunch of heart emojis.

derek: …out of anger.

***

stiles, to jackson: no hard feelings. but i hate you.

stiles: not joking. bye.

***

lydia: give me the ring.

stiles: ha, you sound like Gollum.

lydia: that means nothing to me.

lydia: i don’t see those movies, i’m too pretty.

***

stiles, walking out after a pack meeting ends: sexy train is leaving the station.

stiles: check out this caboose! later, sluts.

***

scott: look at me. do not blow this for us.

random dog that allison hit with her car:

***

peter: i really miss these people, the whole pack. stiles, scott…

peter: …i forget all their other names.

derek: *judgemental eyebrow raise*

[running-with-the-feels]

as a lover of drunk kuai liang i need those headcanons 🤲

mwahahahaha yeeeeeeeessssss

complete lightweight, his only advantage is his size but still, he's gonna have trouble walking very quickly

Favorite drink is a cider bc it tastes like juice and isn't too strong, he likes apple ciders best

Has stages of drunkenness that Johnny has dedicated many hours of research to categorizing (think of it like amy from b99)

Stage 1: Tipsy Statue, he's feeling the effects of the alcohol but refuses to let anyone realize that so he just stays as still and quiet as possible (forgets to blink too, which is the give away)

Stage 2: Loosey Goosey, very relaxed now, will laugh more easily and kinda forgets that he's trying to hide the fact that he's a little drunk. Also gets tactile, like he'll lean against ppl and his need for personal space is drastically reduced.

Stage 3: Koala Bear, all inhibitions thrown to the wind, becomes a total chatterbox, Will sit on someone's lap (usually Hanzo's) and can also be easily convinced to dance nightclub style, much to his horror in the morning

Stage 4: Bed Time, now struggling to walk and stay awake (bc too much alcohol makes him very sleepy) one of the defenders (again, usually Hanzo) is charged with taking him home and putting him to bed.

Kuai Liang once spent two whole hours at one of Johnny's parties sitting in Hanzo's lap, resting his head on the guy's shoulder and playing with his hands. Hanzo was oddly silent during the entire exchange (wonder why)

Johnny used to take videos of his drunken shenanigans (rare tho they might be) until Kuai Liang broke his phone and threatened his kneecaps. Johnny has since backed off.

Has only actually been convinced to dance nightclub style twice (both times by Johnny) and the only reason it hasn't happened more often is because dude rarely drinks.

Hanzo spent the entirety of both situations watching and trying desperately to fight back the urge to either a) drag him off the dance floor and away from Johnny bc Jealous or b) go up there and join him which no amount of alcohol can get him to do.

Chatty, drunk Kuai Liang is so chatty, he's fully just lost his brain to mouth filter so he will just Say Shit. Most of the time its either complimenting Hanzo, thanking Jax and Johnny for their friendship, or insulting Raiden.

He also gets giggly, like everything is funny and he can't stop laughing.

never gets hangovers (or if he does, no one can tell) and everyone is jealous.

Tho he isn't one to be easily embarrassed, he is always mortified that the defenders have seen him drunk after the fact, which is part of why he doesn't drink often. The other and main reason is bc he doesn't like having his faculties compromised

Did once wake up in Hanzo's bed after one of Johnny's parties, panic, and race out of the house shirtless (bc he couldn't find it and heard footsteps coming) only to be told that Hanzo had tried to take him to the Lin Kuei temple instead but Koala Bear Kuai Liang refused to let go of Hanzo for even a second and so eventually (bc he needed to sleep damnit) Hanzo just gave up and brought him back to the Shirai Ryu to sleep there.

"How did I end up shirtless then?" "You said it was, quote, 'too fucking hot in here,' ripped your shirt off, and then wraped around me like an octopus" "..........."

That's all I've got rn, but I can think of more, lemme know if y'all want em.

[hypervoxel]

List of my in progress fic WIPs because if I share them, then I am more likely to finish them:

Damaged Nerve, the only one I've actually managed to publish anything for.

You know the B99 meme? "I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself"? That's Vox with Vark, and I want to see what he does when something does happen to his beloved pet.

Title is from, "absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird," quote. It will eventually be about Vox and Val being unable to stay apart even as they cross so many lines with each other. Val hurts Vox's pet, and Vox still can't stay away from him for long. Vox kills Val and threatens to do it again, and Val still wants him. It's also about Vox being so deranged in ways that aren't just about his relationship with Val. He deserves to get so unhinged while tearing people apart with his bare claws that he starts thinking about how Alastor broadcasted his rampages and Vox could totally do that too (he's better than the Radio Demon and he doesn't miss that old geezer) 🥰 The people he's tearing apart in this case are Exorcists, because he was bound by a Deal to draw them away from the veterinarian stitching up his pet shark.

None of the angels actually permanently die, but Vox did make them look bad on live TV. So, unfortunately, now Vox is getting blamed for the doubling of Exterminations, on top of having to deal with Val and his relationship problems.

Working title: "this was supposed to be about Redemption. it isn't. It Isn't.". I'll probably give it a Bastille lyric, because I'm me.

A rival Overlord seizes the chance to knock The Vees down a peg, publicly. The triumVirate scrambles to maintain their joint reputation as Vox struggles to recover physically and emotionally.

Or: The Vees are given an opportunity for self reflection, realization, and possibly a chance at redemption... They do not take it.

I love a non-con and torture recovery and support fic. You have no idea how much a story about recovery from something horrible means to me. This is... Technically that. Twisted and villainized.

In Hell, power is safety. Overlords can't look weak, can't be beatable. Can't have their rape uploaded online across every platform with memes made about their smashed screen and broken body, screenshots and reuploads from the masses posted faster than their bots could delete it. You get what you deserve, the populace cheers, as Vox gets a taste of every depravity the Vees profit from.

Working title: road trip! road trip!!

What can I say? It's the Vees on a road trip! An exploration of their characters, their dynamics, and of the worldbuilding of Pride. There cannot be only one city.

Working title: "horrifically aphobic"

It's a Vox-centric story, it's always a Vox centric fic for me. Right now this is all just Vibes and Concepts but I am Thinking Constantly about Vox and internalized aphobia and ableism and transphobia. He has all the issues. He externalizes a lot of them too, things don't just stay internal when they are on someone's mind that much. It's part of the reason why Alastor is no longer his friend!

Angel!Vox AU

This will likely just be a one shot. Vox is not actually an angel, but he does have wings! Messy, misshapen things made of wire and shattered glass. He was a televangelist in life, and now the his sins weigh quite literally heavy on his shoulders. Heaven is a constant light above him, always visible in the sky, but his wings are cumbersome things that could never allow him to fly.

He doesn't even realize they are meant to be wings until he sees his reflection. He was always talented at looking good for a camera. If he preens his wings, organizes the mess of cables and glass shards, he can make them look pristine. Purposeful. He can make himself become the beautiful, technological angel he is meant to be. He can make everyone else see him as he should have been. Heaven is forever out of his reach, but no one else needs to know that. And angels here, well, demons are terrified of them. What is more powerful than an angel? Vox can work with that.

Working title: Vees 5+1

It's about Velvette joining the Vees <3 Five times Velvette interrupted VoxVal getting it on, + 1 time she joined them from the start.

Working title: evil AngelVoxVal

As though there's any way for that ship to not be evil, lol

Valentino wants his favorite lovers to join him together for a threesome. Valentino is an expert at getting what he wants.

[andtosaturn]

hiiiiiii it's me!!!!!!!!! please recommend:

Someone who would be great with *assisting* Tree Paine as Taylor’s publicist (let’s be real no one can be Tree Paine so you just get to help)

Someone who knows Taylor’s lyrics better than she does

Someone who is actually a real-life superhero (costume and everything.. but NO CAPES!!)

Someone who inspires you to be a better person 

Someone who would be Jack Antonoff’s BFF

Someone you wish lived closer

Someone that you would follow, wherever they stray

Someone who would be Aaron Dessner’s BFF

Someone who would be great with *assisting* Tree Paine as Taylor’s publicist (let’s be real no one can be Tree Paine so you just get to help): @heystephen i think scout could put a silly twist on basically anything taylor did. murder, treason, tax fraud, whatever. i think taylor should commit a crime actually just to see what scout has to say

Someone who knows Taylor’s lyrics better than she does: @septembersghost always continuing the lyrics in an edit in the tags <3

Someone who is actually a real-life superhero (costume and everything.. but NO CAPES!!): @loveisbraveandwild just seems so lovely <3

Someone who inspires you to be a better person: @missegyptiana is always soooooo nice 🥹

Someone who would be Jack Antonoff’s BFF: @bleachellaz for obvious reasons

Someone you wish lived closer: @weemmagooutofstyle even though she was just here but too busy to hang out 😞😫💔

Someone that you would follow, wherever they stray: @flowersgrowback aya is sensible she would not lead me somewhere bad. that quote from b99 about holt jumping off a cliff if rosa did first bc she would have calculated the trajectory or whatever. yeah

Someone who would be Aaron Dessner’s BFF: i dont know anything about this man so. no idea

[cobbbvanth]

I relate to that so hard 😭 sometimes I'll have a set fully planned out in my head and then I go to make it and completely blank! also omg I LOVE The Martian!! I absolutely agree that it's the best book to film adaptation I've ever seen!! The movie makes me cry every time slkdjfhgd and it's actually one of the rare instances where I enjoy the movie more than the book, even thought I loved the book as well. Changing the subject a bit, what are your favorite fictional couples?? – psc anon <3

bestie you are speaking my language <3 the end of the martian (especially in the movie) is just so heartwarming? how the whole world was watching while the crew brought him home?? 🥺 the "every human being has a basic instinct: to help each other out. this is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception" at the end is one of my favourite quotes, and it comes from the same story as "mark watney: space pirate" and "yes, I did in fact survive on a deserted planet by farming in my own shit." THE RANGE ahsdgjkal

favourite fictional couples: jake and amy (b99), david and patrick (schitt's creek), nick and charlie (heartstopper), eleanor and chidi (the good place), stede and ed (ofmd), nadja and laszlo (wwdits) <3

[she-ra-shitposting]

She-Ra + Incorrect Quotes

                ➥ 145/ ∞

[monday-pancakes]

pearl: look let’s just agree to say “i’m sorry” on the count of three

pearl: one, two, three

pearl:

amethyst:

pearl: see now i’m just disappointed in both of us

[taruruchi]

Taruchi: I'm not sleeping for the next 24 hours.

Blanca: Amen, sister. Amen.

@shroudedhyde

[yourdeepestfathoms]

The Jockey: Hey, Miss Argentina, did you get those papers I put on your desk?

Miss Argentina: Yeah, they’re all filed.

The Jockey: Great! Thanks, mom.

[Everyone in the general vicinity stops and stares]

The Jockey: Why is everyone staring at me?

The Cigar Man: You just called Miss Argentina “mom.” You said, “Thanks, mom.”

The Jockey: What? No, I didn’t! I said, “Thanks, ma’am!”

Miss Argentina: Do you see me as a mother figure, Jockey?

The Jockey: No! If anything, I see you has a “bother” figure! Because you’re always bothering me!

Toaster Bath: Hey, show your mother some respect!

The Jockey: I didn’t call her mom!!

Miss Argentina: No, no, no, no, no, Toast, I take it as a compliment.

The Groom: It’s not a big deal! I called this girl “mom” once, and now she’s my fiancé!

The Jockey: Guys, jump on that! The Groom has psycho-sexual issues!

Beetlejuice: Old news! But you calling Miss A “mommy”——

The Jockey: Hey, “mommy” is not on the table here.

Juno: But you did call her “mom.”

The Jockey: You, shut up! You’ve done nothing but deceive since I got here!

Juno: Alright, alright, I’ve been deceiving you for most of your time here, but the mom thing, that happened.

The Jockey: Aha! She admitted that she is a deceptive she-demon! It was a trap, all part of my crazy, devious plan!

Miss Argentina: I believe you.

The Jockey: Thank you.

Miss Argentina: Daughter.

Miss Argentina: Do you wanna talk about it later over a manicure?

The Jockey:

The Jockey, weakly, holding back tears: I’d like that

[bwayfan25]

Kerry: Mark, please keep an eye on Malucci today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person get himself punched

Mark: Sure. I’d like to see Malucci get punched.

Kerry: Try again.

Mark: I will stop Malucci from getting punched.

(I’ve had a ton of incorrect ER quotes in my head for a long time and @er-139 has inspired me to start sharing them with the world.)

[choongverse-incorrectquotes]

First of all, there’s nothing inherently creepy about a wall of Adrian portraits.

— Henry, probably

[sanguinarius-archive]

larry: i tried to acknowledge his feelings. it wasn't easy. there were a lot of them.

[earlier that day]

travis: i'm just so confused, an-

travis: ...

travis: are you- are you climbing out of the window?

larry: [halfway out the window]

larry:

larry: no

[amy-softiago]

“Thank God, my wife and my dad are here!”

I’m-

[mskatesharma]

Arya: So I know you went on the wight hunt with Gendry and he thinks you’re a great person and swordsman-

Jon: Did he say that? Did you get that on tape?

Arya: No...

Jon: No - he didn’t say that or no - you didn’t get it on tape? Doesn’t matter either way you screwed up big time.