#actually did the first one last yr but i didnt like it... but now i kinda like it so... finally posting it lol

[not-xpr-art]

more p.r.o.b.e sketches because ........ do i need a reeson reason lol?

[09/2024 & 02/2025]

[rinaforpages]

how (not) to survive academic invalidation

park gunwook x reader

hahahha...

using the american hs system bcs wow! im american... (i half wrote this at the end of last school yr so)

warnings: swearing, self-deprecation (obv), yn hits themself, angst with a bit of fluff at the end, reader is actually smart but surrounds themself with geniuses.

2.6k words

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# 1 dont compare yourself

"junior year kicks everyones ass." you wanted to kick whoever said that ass. not only was the school work kicking your ass, your friends and classmates seemed to be doing just fine.

they were working on ap chemistry minus laura and gunwook who were working on ap environmental science, and you, who took neither of those classes, felt extremely out of place, doing your ap us history homework.

"whats species richness again?" laura asked gunwook, who quickly answered her question. you looked up, planning to ask the soon-to-be early graduate a question, only to see him helping sarah with a chemistry problem.

you weren't like them and you despised that. your friends were top of the class, an average of a 4.4 gpa, an early graduate (and first in the 2024 class overall) and there you sat with your measly 3.75. they were in 3-4 ap classes, and you sat there, struggling through your 2. (in your defense, ap lang and apush are the two hardest aps juniors could take).

you didnt excel in any way shape or form. they had just about an a in every class (minus ryan in french, who had a b), and a b was your most common grade.

a good 10 minutes later you had finished struggling through apush, you moved on to mandarin. you were the only one who took mandarin, everyone else opting for french. the characters jumbled your brain as your friends spoke in french, seemingly coming easy to them.

you heard footsteps walk by, and ricky laid a hand on your shoulder, looking over. "thats wrong." he said simply. the french kids careened their necks to look at you. he grabbed your pencil and wrote the right character, then walked away. you hummed as you circled the characters you didnt know, opting to ask zhang hao over bothering ricky again.

"you ok over there?" gunwook asked. you scowled.

"i dont understand why there are so many idioms! im losing my goddamn mind." parker laughed, mumbling that you chose the language. you couldnt (or didnt want to) voice your doubts as you thought you could.

as they focused their attention on their homework again, you waved over zhang hao, who hanbin had asked to help cut fruits for you and your friends. he set down a plate in front of you, then sat down.

"what does 开夜车 mean zhang hao please im gonna kill myself." he laughed as hanbin looked up, extremely concerned.

"you know 熬夜, right?" you nodded "so its kind of like that but youre doing work. it literally means burn the midnight oil" you thanked him as he patted your head, pulling the plate of fruit away from your friends and toward you, gunwook making a sound of discontent.

you sighed, packing up your bag at a text from your oldest brother. he was home from his masters program in germany, apparently, and was now waiting outside the dorm. you loved your older brothers, you really did, but they were so much smarter than you ever will be. the oldest graduated magna cum laude from mit, now achieving an accelerated masters for mechanical engineering, and the younger was attending harvard for premed, both completely full ride.

your friends, finally re-noticing you, looked up. "where are you going?" gunwook asked, shushing yujin.

"brothers here," you mumbled, not wanting to wreck your self-esteem any more than you had. sarah pouted, but nodded, whipping out her phone. gunwook opened his mouth, but then quickly closed it. "bye hao, thanks for the help. bye, hanbin and jiwoong!" the three oldest members waved back, hanbin hugging you as you walked by. when you got in your fathers' car that your brother was driving, you spilled your guts.

# 2 dont fall behind

at some point, your motivation fell through. all you wanted to do was lie down and stare at the ceiling all day. sadly though, education laws (and school rules) prevailed.

as you trudged up the stairs from last lunch to pre-calculus, you cursed the architects of the three-floor building and whoever required you to go to school.

two of your friends—laura and ryan—had junior priv, which meant they left early. sarah and coral (who had missed the study session) were in ap chem, and gunwook left for a shoot. without your friends to motivate you to work harder, you felt there was nothing left for you to do.

you had fallen asleep in mandarin earlier that day, so why were you still exhausted?

quick answer: you had stayed up late finishing your apush bonus points.

actual answer: you had no motivation to do anything.

you were falling behind on homework: what used to be doing homework as soon as you got home turned into doing it right before class. a teacher had approached your freshman-year english teacher about it, the one teacher who you could talk easily to. yujin was standing right there; they mustve not have realized you two knew each other.

ricky and zhang hao had invited you over for a cdrama binge session. (ricky said "itll help you" in his texts.) but yujin quickly pulled you aside.

"youre falling behind?" he asked, pointedly. you sighed, nodded, opening your mouth to reply as gunwook walked by, asking what you were doing.

"nothin! ricky and hao invited me over." the words rushed out, and they were so not convincing, but gunwook shrugged and moved to sit down beside ricky and gyuvin. you hushed yujin and walked over and sat down beside hao. gunwook stared at you.

"come here." he motioned, shoving ricky off the couch. you hesitated as you made eye contact ricky, but eventually, there were only so many thumps against the couch you could take. "see? more comfortable over here" you hit him, and he let out a yelp.

"do you have much homework, yn?" taerae asked, setting down a bowl of popcorn.

"only a couple of classes," you replied, shoving a kernel in your mouth.

matthew laughed, "the usual suspects, im guessing?" you nodded. gunwook threw a (toned) arm around you as the two chinese members debated the drama.

"how much have you done? its sunday." gunwook asked, lightly, rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb.

"i can do it all tonight and tomorrow." you sighed, the sentence reminding you of where you are in school. gunwook hummed.

"make sure you get sleep, though. you need sleep, its not healthy if you dont." fuck. you were in deep shit in two ways. you were falling deeper into your rut, and you were falling deeper in love with your childhood best friend.

# 3 dont be too hard on yourself

...was easier said than done. your mind cursed you every time you got a bad grade. you wondered what was the point: you werent good enough to get into the likes of yale, or any of your colleges for that matter.

you had long since fallen off the ladder. it had injured you your 8th-grade year, and every attempt to climb back to where you were or any pushing from a 3rd party proved futile, as you only slipped and fell back down again.

the sat was fast approaching, and every practice test you did was never where you wanted them to be. every stupid math problem you got wrong brought a punch to your head. you had called gunwook, only realizing when he didnt pick up that he was in a shoot. panicked, you hung up before the voicemail. when he called you back (10 times with his members also calling you), you opted to ignore it. it was getting late, anyhow, and you had to go in early for apush in the morning.

apush lab made you want to kill yourself. sarah sat next to you, but everything always seemed to favor her. the quizzes, the teacher. it was unfair, really. american history was supposed to be your thing. so why were you struggling? after lab, sarah asked you what was wrong. "gunwook had called us in a panic because you didn't pick up." you shook your head, lying through your teeth.

"i had a question, but then passed the fuck out like 5 minutes later." sarah laughed and nodded, saying she was glad you got proper sleep, mumbling something about the aforementioned friend. when you asked, she waved you off, the man himself standing outside your classroom. he swung an arm around you as sarah walked in the opposite direction to her next class. he asked you the same thing. you lied to him too, but he looked less convinced. he didnt press you further, though, as you two began to walk down the stairs to your creative writing workshop—a senior elective you had begged your guidance counselor to take. gunwook took it to fill spots in his schedule.

the teacher loved him. as did everyone. you wondered if you could ever experience that. your oldest friend was everything you weren't and it was a point of contention inside your mind. you cursed yourself that you were nothing like him. gunwook nudged you in the middle of class when you were given an opportunity to work, asking what was wrong.

"i know thats not why you called me and then didn't pick up. you're also in your head right now." he pointed out, softly. you hummed, scribbling down something in your notebook.

"i just... i had a question but it was stupid. i figured it out." he looked at you pointedly, a look that told you to tell him the truth. "seriously! im ok!" he nodded, grabbing your hand for a squeeze.

# 4 do your best

you were nervous. ok nervous was an understatement. you rocked from heel to toe as you awaited the announcement that the doors were open. your friends chattered nervously around you. for them, this was the first time they were taking the sat. this was your second. you had gotten a 1340 on your first try—nowhere near where you wanted it to be. your brothers had gotten 1600 and 1590, respectively.

you were on call with all your friends the night before, gunwook coaching you guys through certain questions. he had texted you, (only you, but you didnt know that) wishing you luck. ricky and zhang hao had wished you luck as well.

everything seemed like bricks in your bag. it was only a couple of things—a computer, for the digital sat, a pencil, a calculator, a water bottle, and a banana. but it felt like you had hundreds of textbooks in your bag for no reason at all.

the doors swung open, and you rushed up to your assigned room. the setup was a blur, and the reading section seemed to be so too. during the break, your friends voiced similar opinions. then, during math, you began to struggle. somewhere along the way, though, gunwook popped into your head. you dont know if it was   because you wanted to make him proud, or you didnt want to disappoint your oldest friend and crush, but it worked. you powered through module 1 and 2, module 2 being the toughest one by far.

when the results came back two weeks later, you waited with baited breath as your friends skipped class with you to check all of your scores. gunwook held your hand as you refreshed the page.

"i dont want to look." you said, hiding your face in his chest.

"ill look for you." he mumbled into your hair, scrolling down. you felt him smile into the crown of your head, "i knew you could do it, sweetheart." you looked, and a big glaring 1590 stared back at you.

"wook!! holy shit a 1590!!" you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.

# 5 talk about it

you sat with your friends and the members as you awaited gunwook's family's arrival. gunwook smiled from his seat on the gymnasium floor, holding up his phone. almost on instinct, you all checked your own.

wook🩵: this'll be you guys next year. ill be up there watching you all.

sarah burst in to tears. laura full on sobbed, and ryan and carols eyes were brimming with tears. as you read the text again and again, you got a separate text.

wook🩵: i'm proud of you y'know? i saw you struggling a bit at the end there but you made it through. i love you, yn. im glad to call you my friend.

i love you i love you i-

"hey yn sweetheart!" gunwooks mom sat next to you. his brother waved, and his father gave you a curt nod.

"hi. you guys must be excited." his mom laughed, nodding, then shoving your shoulder.

"im more excited about something else." you opened your mouth to ask her what, but the ceremony started

giving gunwook his graduation flowers made him blush. he shook his head. "do you not like them, wook? i thought theyre your favorites." he shook his head again, dropping the flowers into his mom's hands, grabbing your face.

"you are clueless, yknow that? i gave you so many hints. everyone knows." when you asked him what he meant, "yn, you didnt think id notice you putting yourself down? you know i cant fucking stand that. sorry mom. it kills me that the love if my life doesnt realize how fucking amazing they are, and it kills me that they dont realize that im in love with them." at this point, you dont know what you were doing. because gunwook was confessing to you that he both likes you and that he knows about your self-deprication. so now, surrounded by friends and seniors, gunwooks family and members, you kissed him.

it wasnt like anything you had imagined. your first kiss, you mean. peering seniors were waved off by shouts from matthew and gunwooks brother—both burly enough that even the biggest varsity football players would shrink away.

gunwook smiled on your lips as your friends cheered amongst themselves. you heard a loud "闭嘴!" from zhang hao to what you presume was ricky chatting with the senior mandarin class. when you broke off, gasping for air, gunwook tore off his graduation gown, pushing it onto his poor unsuspecting leader. he grabbed your arm, and the two of you sprinted as fast as you could.

out the gymnasium doors, out back by the cafeteria, through the back-woods path. he stopped when he was sure no one would follow him.

"so whats going on? with the whole." he gestured to your head. you knew what he meant, so you nodded. you told him everything, how you compared yourself to everyone, especially your friends and brothers, you were falling behind, your motivation was close to 0, and you never really believed that you could do it. he was quiet for a while. you knew he was trying to find the right words.

you wanted to cry, or throw up, probably both. it felt like the trees and the birds and your boyfriend? were judging you. but gunwook just apologized, for not noticing sooner, for not knowing how to help. you shook your head, tears threatening to fall, but he shook his too.

"no, no, im your best friend, yn, i need to be here for you. im serious, you have people to rely on, you dont have to shoulder this all by yourself." the tears threatening to fall were not a threat anymore, and the dam broke. gunwook grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a hug.

—

mandarin guide:

开夜车: kai ye che, lit. burn the midnight oil

熬夜: ao ye, stay up late

闭嘴: bi zui, shut up/close your mouth

[moonshynecybin]

as one of the foremost motogp scholars of our time do you happen to know what the beef is with maverick and fabio bc they were teammates right? but everyone says they hate each other now idk

ik this is not a marc question and i apologize for asking something i could ostensibly do research in myself but i did try and i suck at research and you have crazy good insight into the interpersonal dynamics of these guys ajajsjksksksksksksk

anyway sorry!! love your blog!!!! if you dont know or dont have time you can just ignore me!! <3

HELP okay i’ll try my best… so uh. idk if they have BEEF per se but i would imagine that some of the animosity would stem from the state of yamaha in 2021 and maverick’s uh. handling of that entire snafu. and yamaha being one of fabio quartararo’s beautiful wives (the other is tony arbolino the OTHER other is being nips out in work situations). anyways under the cut it’s lawg

SO. source HERE it does a good job laying this all out, but mav moved from suzuki to yamaha to start the 2017 season and immediately had a real substantial string of successes. he topped testing (a more novel occurrence THEN than NOW…) and won the first two races of the season, with many of the top contenders in the class having comparatively more difficult starts to the year (marc, dani, jorge, AND dovi all DNFed in argentina in the wet lmao). unfortunately, in true maverick fashion, it wouldn’t last and his results would be a lot more spotty as the season continued, with marc and dovi emerging as the true title contenders after the break and him finishing p3 overall (still ahead of valentino rossi…)

from there, our typically maverick pattern emerges, and maverick’s results kinda plummet more and more as the years pass by, with a few bright spots in tracks he likes. cracks are already showing in 2018, especially as vale ages and marc continues to be dominant while ducati improve. but like. maverick is a HUGE confidence guy!!!!and lin jarvis is in the press at austria 2018 like my rider’s qualified like total dog dookie!!! and maverick (most sensitive man on earth) is like okay. FUCK YOU… so things are already sliding nasty in 2018, but then he wins at assen in 2019 and re-signs w yamaha (even though ducati apparently wanted him. which is crazy to me but i digress.) it SHOULD BE NOTED that maverick himself was also publicly baffled by the decision from ducati to re-sign him, which EYE think says a lot abt his relationship with the team and confidence in his place there, and then they bring in all theses young hotties named fabio and franky and i imagine it’s like uh oh. i gotta PERFORM…

then 2020: shit hits the fan, marc breaks his arm, covid is going full blast, and no one knows what the fuck is going on. yamaha is very shaky through it all - fabio isn’t happy, maverick isn’t happy, everything is breaking or going wrong and there’s no pace on the bike and despite winning a GP maverick calls it the “worst season of his career!!!!” and also fabio is there with three wins looking. VERY good. writing perhaps on the wallll about the new guys and 21 yr old fabio is like. idk i can see why fabio’s friendly ass had a hard time vibing with all that. it doesn’t strike me as a natural vibe match.

and like. okay so famously the dramatic conclusion comes of COURSE in 2021 where mav got a new crew chief (he really liked his old one…) and then finished p19 in germany among serious grip woes that he claimed the team didnt have an answer for, all while fabio is charging to mount an actual title challenge, which i imagine didnt help things. like the pure comparison of it. exit rumors build (he podiums the next gp on the same setup he placed p19 in apparently, and like. doesn’t celebrate w the team at ALL in parc ferme like the vibes are OFFFF !!!), maverick is publicly critical of the team and unhappy with his situation, and then uh. he um. he gets fired AHEAD of assen 2021 and yamaha state he’ll leave after that season, a full year before his contract expires. boo tomato tomato from both parties…

MAVERICK (DIVAAAAAA comma 26 years old) responds by going full old school broadway dame and blowing up his engine on purpose during the 2021 Styrian GP in austria, sabotaging his own race. yamaha catch him handily, do NOT appreciate this, and straight up suspend him. maverick apologizes and says he messed up baby it was a joke please forgive him please. yamaha says you’re a SKANK… put in cal crutchlow good vibes angel from the heavens on that bike, who is later replaced with franco morbidelli full time. maverick signs with aprilia and rides with them for the rest of the season. maverick later lists fabio’s front row qualification performance as one of the reasons his emotions got the better of him in austria. fabio goes on to win the title. et voila. like TLDR i imagine the leftover taste in both fabio and maverick’s mouths concerning the whole ordeal is enough to put them off each other at least mildly for good.

[fairys-book-reviews]

The Revenant Games - Margie Fuston (8/10)

I'll start this off by saying what i thought prior to reading it. Cos i wrote what I thought down so i could do this lol

What grabbed my attention first, was the name. The Revenant Games, Revenant tends to mean someone come back from the dead, and well, I've always loved books with aspects like that. Then, the cover. It's not exactly too original, in fact on the same day I bought this book, I bought another book with a similar format on the cover. Yet it still intrigued me. I've never been too interested in stories with games and the such (Like the Hunger Games and many others like that), but vampires and witches? Resurrection? Immortality? All are in my top five favourite things, only ones it was missing was polygamy, LGBT+ stuff, and the fae.

And now, to the actual book. I wrote this last night, directly after finishing it (at 11pm).

I must say, I didnt start reading this book with high expectations. The reviews....hadn't exactly painted the best picture. Nonetheless, after reading, while those bad reviews did have points, for me the good outweighed the bad.

Many reviews stated that this was blatantly copying The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins), just with witches and vampires. Honestly? They're right. The first thing I noticed when reading, is that the writing style was suspiciously similar to The Hunger Games. The way she met Emerson? In the woods, suspicious, sorta watching. Her sister, whom shes doing this all for? Liked by everyone, probably favourite kid (definitely favourite kid). Love triangle between Dude Who Helped Her That One Time and Guy From Home That She Maybe Liked For ages. The actual games were a bit different, but the bare bones were highly similar. But either way, lets get into the characters.

First, our main girl. Bly. She's the least favourite in the family, and she's highly stubborn and freespirited. And honestly, it was rather refreshing to have a female main character whom instead of being like all those 'not like the other girls' girls, refusing to wear fancy stuff, she REALLY wanted a dress, and a ribbon, and a lot of that 'shallow' type stuff. Either way, except for the first part, set a year before the books events, her goal remains the same, with a bit of flexibility in the end. Her goal is to bring her sister back to life, as she blames herself for her death. And honestly? Only development of note that Bly gets is realising she wasnt rlly in love with Guy From Home, she just sorta fantasised about him, and that she has a vampire kink.

Next, Elise. She's not really included in the book, we dont really get anything but memories of her, stories of her. She's our main characters dead sister, and the cause of Bly participating in the games. She's put on a pedestal, likely because when a characters dead, only alive in memories, people tend to say they are better than they were.

Emersons next, and honestly? I don't much like him. At the start I did, but as the book is from Blys perspective, and she mostly just fantasised about him, we saw him in the light she did, where she idolised him. As time goes on, flaws become more apparent. He's cold, rather selfish, and i Just dont like him. Bly shouldve taken the vampire prize instead.

Kerrigans pretty cool. He's a vampire and Blys main love interest. And you know whats amazing? This fucker aint a 200+ yr old dating a teen!!! Bodily, he's 18. But otherwise, just in his early to mid twenties!! (heard others say he was 24, but i dont quite remember). He's got a backstory, and hes got a pretty cool personality. He does that sort of thing I do, where he wears masks of personalities. Cant really say much more without spoilers.

Last person I'm gonna mention is Benedict. Benedict appeared about 3 times, only for maybe a page each time. Benedict is by FAR my favourite i just love him.

Other characters of note that I cant really bother talking about and dont have much to say about are Donovan (Kerrigans brother, hes got some stuff at the end but its all big spoilery stuff), Nova and Vincent (Twins, theyre pretty cool, in Bly and Emersons team in the revenant games), and Demezela, a fuckass witch (I HATE HER GUTS AGH)

Next, we're onto worldbuilding Many people had problems with aspects, like the origins of witches and vampires, but honestly? The characters dont know what happened, not the humans or the vampires or the witches, so why should we know? Others also have issues with the games themselves. They say why would the vampires and witches encourage humans to hunt them? Well one big reason, is immortality. They get bored. They want to feel alive. So they risk their lives. And they want the blood of the enemy side. Theres many other reasons it could be, but on the side of vampires we hear the boredom side a lot.

And onto the plot. So, I wasnt really into it at the start, although by page 30 I was honestly quite enjoying it, although Bly was infuriating at times. Vampires, witches, murder...its cool. Also at the beginning Kerrigan sorta flirted with Vincent and Emerson so bonus points? There were some scenes that sorta meant nothing to the plot but i loved them anyway. Vampires? Making out? Bites? Sign me up, am I right?

Havent been doing brilliant recently but this has been a great distraction, even if it only took me three nights to read (i went to bed at 11pm i swear!!! Reasonable time!!!)

Overall yeah, I really enjoyed the book

Note: It's a series, book 2 isnt out yet

[solar-sunnyside-up]

Im pretty sure thats the post that other anon was talking about. They didn't put it real well but they are kinda right.

Things are not as they were. Unless major reform is enacted a third party will never win in the usa. Not as it is. And any hope of reform will disappear if we get another red prez. Between gerrymandering and the electoral college and the pearl clutching moderates who get scared of progressives, to Republicans with no morals who will 100% vote red without hesitation. We effectively only have 2 parties. At least for now.

A Republican candidate hasn't won the popular vote in decades yet they somehow keep running things.

Everyone I know is scared. Scared this will be our last election next year. But no one is more scared than the disabled. We are terrified. Theres a lot of chatter from the right about "dealing" with us and other "freeloaders" we are legitimately scared for our lives.

Protest votes is what gave us that disaster in 2016 and why roe vs wade is gone now. If they win again they are going to push the rest of their agenda through. These posts about refusing to vote or voting third party are exactly like they were in 2016. We've been down this road once already.

If given the choice of neglect vs active homicidal intent we all have at least a chance to survive neglect.

And neglect gives us time to do something. Work locally. Try and push for reform. It's horrible but it's what we have. And for most disabled it's ALL we have. We can't run, other countries won't take us.

I've even seen some scream about revolution but with zero plans for us. What will their revolution do with us? Will we still have our medical access? Will we still be taken care of? Or will the wheels of the revolution be greased with our blood?

K so this is a lot for first in the morning, and I'm glad that someone has explained it a bit more detail bc I cannot stress this enough IM CANADIAN we live with a mutli party system. We, like most of democracies in the world, function with multiple parties at play. And tbh? They still use "splitting the vote is dangerous" talking point here. Here, it's used to prevent ppl from voting for actual reform in government. It's used to say "Green party will never win in they're trying to do rent caps and UBI!" Despite these being popular standing points with many many ppl and honestly the only reason ppl haven't voted them in is bc of this fear tactic. And yet this year, they've come in 3rd place if not 1st in several towns, cities, and providences. They've made headway, and also a lot of liberal ideals and NDP talking points are just old green party ones so ppl want those policies. But if it wasn't for those tree huggers 10 yrs ago fighting, and losing and being made fun of, as a seperate party and forcing them to move that direction they never would.

And let's be clear, Trump won bc of electoral collage he did not win popular vote in 2016 you where overruled the vote didnt matter. Just like Bush did against Al Gore in 2000

That doesn't mean its hopeless or that you shluldnt vote particularlly on local levels. More ppl then ever in history are voting!! Turn outs are the highest they've been since 1950s!! (Also the last peak in union reforms btw) It's scary flipping parties, you might loose to Democrats or Republicans. It will be horrible. But yall are on the cusp of a civil war and fascism anyway, as an outsider who should hold little say over what you choose in this election, I'd still endorse the 3rd party. idk yall your system seems fucked and legit doesn't seem to care how you vote so scare them into using your vote for someone else and make them admit they're not actually counting your votes.

If there's so many ppl like a different policy and candidate it forms another party then you NEED a different party to have a voice anyway. Even if it's in defeat it must exist and I'll happily be on the loosing side.

These are talking points that are used to stagnate progress and to (rightfully) scare ppl into voting for someone they don't like. So if it scares you too much, i wont be upset with however you vote. Its yours. It's scary out here no matter the outcome rn. But I can't let myself be shaken when there is hope and I will personally work for that hope so it's no longer a scary option for those who can't afford the choice.

[wanderrlust0]

-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

[astralmarionette]

THIUGHTS ON THE GUILD GO! I loved them sm they were my fav faction and all the characters make me deeply insane I am WAITING for them to come back they have to asagiri set up too many plot points not to bring them back. Sigh. my favs r lucy n poe n mitchell n hawthorne n steinbeck but I like all of them

Omg omg okay i LOVE thr Guild I spent like 30 minutes last night trying to predict the different Guild members because Autism. (I FUCKING LOOKED UP MARk TWAIN BC I WAS LIKE U CANT HAVE AMRRICAN AUTHORS AN NOT HAVE MARKY YKW??? LIKE HES LItERALLY BROUGHT UP IN EVERY SINGLE LIT CLASS IN AMERICA BRO and nothing came up OU IM SO MAD)

BTW, I tend to use a first name basis with authors btw theyre actually all my best friends i know them on a deeper level (my mom said that i need to seek help today, this is what happens when all yr friendships are superficial as a kid methinks)

anyways. here are my thoughts:

Mr Francy Pants (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald): i wasn't too opinionated on him til I learned his ability (like i said we need to stop letting white ppl get rich bro...) and then i was like i need this guy dead and then i learned his motive and i was like oh my god hes literally just a guy he wants nothing but to mAKE HIS WIFE HAPPY OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so he slays actaully i hope hes alive :((

Louisa May Alcott: LOMLLLLLLLL i love little women so im extremely bias towards her but wtv when Francis was going on his lil rant abt owning her and everything i was like woah now careful abt how you speak to my girl

Nathaniel: Lord....forgive me...... HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FINE OH my GODDDD Nathaniel was made for the girlies with complicated relationships with religion i fear (ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME )

Margaret: love me a woman who dresses like that okay but im fairly certain the actual woman was racist soooo kinda mixed feelings?? but the character is amazing and perfect (ignoring the restoring her family's honor.........) and i actually loved her accent lol it was southern enough to be southern but not too southern to be fake lol southern accents actaully arent always there for my area lol they come and go and are stronger when angry/ come out stronger on certain words or phrases loll

Lucy: OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH seeing that she got caught PAINED ME LIKE NOOOO ATSU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GO AND SAVE HER BUT NOW I FEAR HES FORGOTTEN IN ALL THE EVERYTHING GOIONG ON OUGHHHHHHHHHH

Anne is SOOO Cutie Pie too btw and I love that one she looks like Anne of Green Gables (obvi) BUT ALSO Raggedy Anns!!!!!

Marky Mark: HES SO CUTE ACTUALLY ???? I love his "im just here for the fun of it" attitude that was rlly nice AND HUCK AND TOM ARE SOOOO CUTE and i love the fact that hes a gunsmith despite im pretty sure the book characters he brought to life and real life author being like these scrappy lil southern boys lolll i like that they didnt go the kenji route with him and have him be like a (read this in a southern accent btw) lil farmer boy with good intentions for everyone :D type character !!!!!! love him 10/10 scrunkly

John Steinbeck: his grape thing freaked me the fuck out the first time he did it i was so thoroughly gagged like...... hes cute but in term of design he and Francy look soo similar I got tired of these basic ass white men sorry TvT (looking at them made me feel like i was watching hetalia again LMAOOO) hes scrunkly poo too tho and i love his quirk (mha gagged with quirk im sooo sorry)

Lovecraft: He rlly puts the love in Lovecr....Im gonna stop there sorry :( that sounded jsut as bad in my head LMAO I LVOE HIM i love the fact that him turning into Kraken is just. smth he can do. not his quirk hes jsut like that. (okay actually he didnt write Kraken so idk what the fuck he turns into but he just like me fr) i love his absolute apathy to everything he rlly is sucha girl like he just wants to sleep fr !!!! he had empty eyes and long lucious hair and thats enough to make me love you so i literally DONT CARE bout NOTHIGN ELSE !!!! 10000/10 hes so fine omg....

Melville: hes actually so chill. i like him! he had honor and standards that he upheld himself and i heavy respect that! going down w yr ship is like the easiest way to gain my respect cuz that troupe >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND LAST BUT ABSOLUTELY DEFINETELY NOT LEAST:

Edgar Allan Poe:

do I, Dorian Nico di Marionette (my legal Tumblr name), even need to say anything about how much I love this man. I'm not even just talking about the bsd character. I'm talking about the actual author too. He's literally so cool. Like so cool. He came, he lived, he fucked around and found out, and he died!!! He is literally everything I wish to be. Cool, Autistic, Mysterious, Silly. And now specifically the character: I love his need for praise bc ME tOO. I love that he had given himself ONE PURPOSE and that purpose was to beat Ranpo and give him the mystery of his life like yes girl devote your entire being and existence to that ONE (1) man !!!!!! (me) (we need help)

i love that he has a pet Raccoon esp since the general agreement is that he died of rabies like...... ( i personally think he was murdered but idk... ijust feel like someone didnt like him bc he accomplished alot and they probably couldn)

he and ranpos lil friendhsip warms my lil heart to like................... like i said in my tags they remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru in a way where their world was "us" and "not us" and like they are the only ones who can keep each other on each others toes and constantly getting better and giving the ultimate form of praise (theres nothing like getting praise from someone in your field of work, esp someone that you regard as "better than you") and thats so.......... (and if i say codependcy (I WILL PUSH CODEPENDCY ON EVERYTHING BRO I NEED TO SEEK HELP))

anyways these are my excessive thoughts i need help lol

[dokyom-archive]

//

[3liza]

do u know if that "data mining through fb posts asking yr address/first car/whatever" is like, real? it's always struck me as scaremongering since ive never seen any like actual evidence that ppl do that. and it seems kinda tedious like, from the hacker's perspective

it is absolutely real lol. the evidence is that people get hacked all the time! hacking is tedious, as a profession and a hobby, all serious computer touchers are doing tedious jobs. this is why adhd/autistic people end up computer touching for a living quite a lot of the time, because we can get into flow states where we can dig through social media posts for 10 hours without getting bored or distracted.

there are many ways to get hacked. the most common way is using the same passwords on one site as you do on another site that gets their data stolen or leaked. thats easy mode. but if you piss someone off, advertise yourself as a target (like a lot of the influencers who have gotten robbed recently after showing off their stupid rolexes and shit on IG), or just get plain unlucky, you can end up on the receiving end of a computer toucher who will start with your tumblr bio and go something like this:

hm, Jessica is 25 years old and lives in Philadelphia and mentioned in a comment that she went to Smith Elementary school which is the aswer to one of the security questions at her bank, and i know what ban k she uses because she posted a complaint about that bank on her blog. i know her age which means that she graduated HS in 20XX and she says shes a libra so shes born in this month, seawrching for the word "birthday" on her tumblr didnt give me anything but searching the same on the twitter account she linked in her sidebar DID give me a post on her actual birthday so now i know when it is, oh she accidentally included part of a mailing address label in the backround of a pic of her nails so now i know her last name, searching FB with this last name in philadelphia i see she has a private profile but i now have every single one of her family members who AREN'T PRIVATE, including her mom who has her maiden name listed publicly (another bank account security question) and i can look up jessica and everyone she knows on voterrecords.com and whitepages.com and mylife.com and find all their mugshots and arrest records and addresses and maybe even pay a few bucks to get complete public records with even more information, it really ddepends on how much of a freak i am, and the internet has bottomless creeps with free refills.

everything i just typed out takes about 45 minutes to do and costs $0 except the advanced records search which is real cheap. i have done this to creeps and stalkers many times in order to get the information i needed to shut them down or threaten them. someone who actually is after your money or accounts can do a lot more and is motivated to do so because most of them are working out of places where a Steam account (for example) is worth the trouble. check blackhatworld.com and read what the instagram scammers are doing in the broad daylight, thats not even a private forum. to those guys, someone's organic and real instagram account is worth a couple bucks and they are definitely out there harvesting them to resell. another reason hackers take accounts is to hit up your friends and family for donations. sometimes they just use it to dump spam and you get banned for it.

edit: a BIG reason random women get hacked? creeps looking through your DMs for nudes, which they then sell or just swap for fun because theyre awful. people dont really need good reasons to do this terrible shit. a ton of women who ended up on isanyoneup.com had absolutely no idea how their pics got on there, and some of the content was stuff they had never even sent to anyone. every time one of my computers or phones shits itself and i have to take it into a repair place ( i try to avoid doing this but sometimes stuff is above even my pay grade as a computer-toucher myself) i am EXTREMELY AWARE that anyone at the repair place can and probably will dump every single photo from my machine onto a thumb drive and take it home. just because they can.

its not super likely that someone is going to walk in your front door and rob or kill you if you dont lock it every single night but like. you should still lock your front door. if you leave food lying around youre going to get raccoons.

[anyonghalimaw]

what are your scp recs? =o i've read some but not all that many overall

SORRY LATE REPLY COZ i had 2 get 2my pc HELP BUT !! Youhave unlocked the floodgates.

087 - the stairwell

an oldie but a goodie! absolute fucking classic, as evidenced by the whopping 3000 updoots. its really like. one of the Hallmarks of the strengths of early scp, aka a simple concept executed VERY EFFECTIVELY. its a staircase! its infinite! you can hear the sound of a crying child in it that always seems to be out of reach! its dark as shit! there is a disembodied floating humanoid face in it. the fourth expedition is fucking Gone despite being the one that ceased all entrance to the stairwell! i love the shit out of this stupid fucking staircase theres a reason it spawned so many games in Ye Olden Babys First Unity Project Days

3333 - tower

*thafnine voice* were time skipping now oh my! i feel this is like, an Inverse 087. instead of going down an infinite staircase u go up an infinite tower! fun! and remember that redacted expedition IV from 087? its not redacted here :) warning for body horror for this one

4975 - times up

despite being from series V this one has a very very old school vibe to it. simple concept executed effectively as opposed to the fucking novel length skips that litter the later series. fair warning for this one if u have issues with unreality MUTE THE TAB. TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME. no jumpscares but its still a pretty mean trick 😭

lilys 001 proposal - the worlds gone beautiful

short, poignant, beautiful. ykno all those tumblr poetry posts talking abt how no matter how temporary our time is on this earth its still special? it means something? Yea . reading this as a 15 yr old made me understand that somehow

4182 - there is no site 5

whew. unlike a lot of earlier scps the blacked out data in this one Isnt overused in an annoying way. its a Puzzle. what happened to site 5? why are there so many revisions to the article? what is the foundation hiding under all those redactions? hehe.

5140 - EVEREST

another short n effective one ! im not phased by much unless it literally triggers my menthol ewwness but this ones . super fucking creepy to me honestly idk why LOL. hinges on making U ! da reader. quetion whether whats happening in those logs is real or if the explorers are just Losing Their Fucking Minds from oxygen deprivation. i do wonder !

2718 - what happens after

I. HATE. THIS . SCP. that means i love it LOL. i rank horror Goodness by how badly it makes me want to crawl out of my skin like a molting insect! forreal do not read this if u have unreality issues its so bad 😭😭😭😭😭 but i love it! its such a good concept. i hate it. its awful. its stuck in my mind forever. its so effective. If i liked this scp i dont because i did. No i didnt

5999 - this is where i died

YAAAY THIS ONES THE URL OF MY SCP SIDEBLOG!! i like it less now than i did when it first dropped (i was so up to date on this shit LOL i was there when nobody knew what it was abt and the forums was people trying to decode it) and the ending. is fuckin doodoo caca bullshit LOL its such a copout. dont even bother with the last chapter its literally nothing and it only serves to connect it to another scp when the preceeding stuff was already flavorful n interesting on its own 😭😭 warning for gore and body horror

4400 - this is not a place of honor

better enjoyed with the context of longterm nuclear waste warning messages! i actually have a unique experience with this post detailed Here due to my Shitfuck No Good Eyesight where i misread the title as "this is not a place of horror” which fundamentally changed my mindset going into it! i dont wanna spoil much but the last line of the last addendum is so fucking metal it rules LOL

[skylashadow]

@rainswings tysm for all the nice tags!

I dont have an exact lore thing in my mind right now, but I'll try to put old ideas together as good as I can! :D

So, welp, her name is Skyla and she's my (main) OC right now and the one I use for basically most of the doodles! (She's also the one on my pfp)

Sky is like, idk, 17 / 18 yrs old- And an adventurer of some sort?

I created her based off of my minecraft skin, which is this one:

... and well, did the design, which has been tweaked and changed over the last like, year or something (?) since I did the first design. The design is thought to be more steampunk-y, but it can be taken either way me thinks, as i have not confined her to any era :]

I actually had another design for her at first, but as my in-game name is SkylaShadow, I just thought it was fitting to give her the design of my skin.

The old design got recycled for her twin sister, Scarlet, which leads us to the lore!

-- Lore --

(as I said earlier, these are all some old ideas, and I might re-lore everything later on, because rn I realized how bad this all actually is lmao)

(this is all in an minecraft-y universe!)

Basically, Sky grew up with her mom alone and uhh,, they were quite happy (?) (<- havent thought of their relationship or anything like that until now lmao)

When Sky was 16 or something, she moved out, further out towards the desert / jungle area, and settled there. She lost contact with her mom after a while. Like a year after moving out, Sky wanted to visit her mom again and returned to their old home, just to find out that it was entirely empty. Her mom wasgone and she hadnt left any note or letter.

Sky still doesnt know what happened to her mom, but she eventually (after quite a long time) accepted their paths parting.

I, as the ultimate lore master and god of the universe she lives in (*cough*), of course, know what has happened. :)

Little does Sky know that she has a twin sister! They got separated right after birth, and her mom never told her that Scarlet exists.

You see, Sky is a normal human, and so is her mom, and in contrast to that, Scarlet is some kind of hybrid (i havent decided what kind of yet tho) and possesses some minor magical abilities. That's also the reason on why they got separated in the first place-

The city nearest to where they lived didnt really... like hybrids / non-humans? Which means that anyone with a connection to non-humans was an outcast and stuff, and Sky's mom didnt want this to happen to her and her daughter-

Sky and Scarlet's father also has magical abilities, and he was the one who passed on the hybrid genes to Scarlet, while Sky didnt receive any - see it as a curse or a blessing.

So, when Scarlet developed her first non-human traits, their mom basically abandoned her and left her to live with her father, and moved away with Sky so they could live a normal life. (it's their mom's entire fault at all, tho, as she had chosen her partner to be a non-human, which is prohibited by the law)

(wow, I'm turning this into Scarlet info dump as well lmao)

Their father eventually got and killed by illegal hunters (dunno if my english is correct on this one) when Scarlet was around 14. After that, she pretty much survived on her own and became pretty strong. I dont know how and when and why, but a few years later, she somehow found out where their mom lived, and because she was so angry at her for just abandoning her, she straight up killed her (yayy D:) Scarlet was also able to locate Sky, but as she feels a closer connection to her sis than to her mom, she spares her life and now watches her from time to time.

Sky, meanwhile, does sometimes feel like there is someone behind her, but she still has no clue that she even has a sister. (Scarlet feels the connection more as there is magic in her blood)

I havent actually thought much further, but if they ever meet, there will be this jealousy-

Sky is jealous of Scarlet because she has magic n shit, and Scarlet is jealous because Sky is able to live life without hiding and yeah...

That's about it, i guess?

Sorry if this was too long and too cringe, I will probably come up with new lore anyway eventually :D

[rozcdust]

Hello, I am bored and my irl bestie already knows this story cus we went to the same school and shared the same class for 3 yrs straight, so imma rant to my free therapist

so u remember my high school right (flashback to the horror nun story). Now lemme tell u how this high school is elite, like always top 10 in the entire city since its formation kinda elite yk, so its really academically demanding and they care a lot about their ranking, more than they do their students mental health.

now imagine 12th grade girls on their last year of hs being given mountains of tasks and exams. Like we had papers with a minimum of 12 pages and guiding teachers who would ghost and leave us on read whenever we ask for counselling, we had practical exams where the teachers werent prepared so everytime we asked for the written criteria they have nothing to give and we end up being given more criterias near the deadline and those criterias would sometimes force us to redo half of the project, we still had daily exams and homeworks and the teachers would still have the audacity to say they're lacking things to grade like wtf, and of course we cant forget the national exams that would determine how pretty our diploma would be, that we also skydived into with 0 preparations bcus there just wasnt any time (i mean this literally, like we only had a few days after the disastrous practical exams before the per-national exams and the national exams immediately after, not a single day of break).

so imagine how it must feel after doing that paper, practical exams, final semester exam, daily exams, daily homeworks, additional exams and hws, and finally the goddamn national exam, and the school still had the audacity to say 'if we rely on ur national exam scores, ur grades will plummet so we will give u final exams. onsite so u dont cheat' LIKE MF THIS IS UR FUCKING FAULT U MADE US DO USELESS EXAMS AND ASSIGNMENTS AND WE HAD NO TIME TO STUDY OR PREPARE

so after a riot where we forced our parents to get involved (lemme say its probably the first time in their 160 yrs of existing that the parents actually went down and complained the school were being too much bcus these ppl were the same that put their daughters into this school bcus 'it's good n will make you adapted to stress n heavy workload') the school decided to cut down from 14 final exams to 4 (we have different categories here, like obligatory subject which all hs major have, major-focused subject only for the major, and cross major subject). the final exams are the major focused subjects

and these teachers looked at their girls, their tired stressed and 'idgaf anymore im doing this exam preparation what they gonna do? fail me? hah! they wont fail me since last graders graduation rate is spread nationwide and they dont wanna tarnish their precious reputation' (actual mindset here)

anyways the girls were stressed. STRESSED.

and the school taught

"these kids need blood"

so we were given blood supplements the starting morning of our final exams

did we loudly brag to any passing teacher that we didnt study and dont care if we fail? tbf most of the teachers looked done with us too. its just the antique ones that insisted we need more workload and stress

HELLO MY LOVE i am so sorry it took me so long to get to answering this, exams killed me and i truly had no time :((

yes i remember the cursed FUCKING nun that one left some nightmare 🥲

okay i am familiar with those typa schools/teachers and tbh fUCK THOSE SO HARD WHAT THE HELL DID THEY LEGIT TORTURE YOU WHAT-

babe- what the- 🤠 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCCK????

good on the parents for coming down bc that is like. actually not fucking okay wtf

sorry, BLOOD???

B L O O D????

hell yeah you should loudly complain. fucking assholes wtf

fuck school. legit. like. E W

[kawaiiunderachiever]

Friends Hug

This was my reaction to getting a hug rejected by Cove in Our Life 1 🥲

Cove and MC in step 1 are not friends at first, to MC it was an odd arrangement by Coves dad. MC for awhile didn't know what to think of Cove when they met, just that he was a sad and lonely kid, if not a little bit of grumpy pants. She was nice and considerate to him regardless, that was how Mommy raised her.

It was till one day MC decided that if they were going to be actually friends, then she must tell Cove the truth. Cuz friends dont keep secrets from each other she told him.

It hurt Cove to know that his dad paid MC to be his friend and cried. Hard.

MC didnt know what to do except hug him, but he shoved her away. He probably didnt mean to hurt her, but rejecting her hug like that did something to MC that would affect her relationship with Cove.

MC loves hugs! Adores them. She hugs her moms and sister all the time as a kid, and she loves recieving and giving them to her friends too. She never had someone reject her hug like that before, and it hurt even when she knew he didn't mean it. So she didn't initiate hugs anymore with Cove in fear of that rejection again.

When Cove and her became real friends after a yr or 2, he noticed how she much she liked hugs and tried to give her one. She hesitated and gave him a shoulder pat instead. He didnt know why she did that, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she didnt feel like hugging. But after several attempts on his end, she would avoid his hug in one way or another. The closest thing to a hug he had gotten was a brief side hug, which was more like a back pat.

Cove was certain something was up, especially when he sees her hug everyone carefreely but not him. So one day, he asked her after trying again but failed. "Why don't you hug me like you hug everyone else?"

MC was taken back and tried to reassure him. "I've hugged you before Cove!"

"Then hug me now." He opens his arms to her expectantly. "Ehh.." she approaches him hesitantly and then swiftly slides into a quick side hug with him like usual.

"See? I hugged you just now."

"You don't hug everyone else like that! You bear hug them and squeeze them to death. You even bear hug Shiloh!"

"Cove, I don't see what the problem is." MC stands her ground, but Cove insisted. "You didn't hug me like you mean it."

She sighed and crossed her arms. This was one of the few times Cove felt MC distance herself from him as she stares at him with an indifferent and cold expression. "I don't know whats wrong with the way I hug you now."

"MC, the last time you gave me a genuine hug was when you told me about my dad paying you to be my friend."

"...I don't remember that."

"'Friends don't keep secrets from each other.' You told me that that day, MC. I know you remember, please dont lie to me."

"..."

"MC, I'm sorry I pushed you away that day--"

"You already apologized, it's fine. It's not a big deal."

"It is to me! I know I shouldn't have done that, I was very emotional that day and I ended up hurting you. I saw the look on your face when I shoved you, but I didn't care at the time. I care now, and I'm sorry."

"...it's fine, don't worry about it."

"It's not fine, MC. You're still hurt by it and I want to make it right."

"What does that mean?"

"I want a real hug."

"I just hugged you, Cove."

"MC, you look like you need a hug."

"I'm fine. You don't have to."

"MC...please don't push me away. I won't reject your hugs ever again." He walks up to her and slowly engulfs her in his arms in a firm hug. She didn't dodge it this time and was tearing up when his warmth enveloped her.

"...You promise?"

"Of course! You're my friend MC, I would never hurt you again. Ever."

MC ends up crying in his arms and bear hugging him for dear life. A little while after that, she would surprise hug him whenever she gets the chance. Which involved piggyback rides in step 3.

Game made by @gb-patch

[jackienautism]

The saddest thing about the quarry not getting a proper ending is that we’ll never get to see Ryan and Caleb talk about All That because they’re supposed to be close friends, almost family, and yet not once does Ryan show any reaction to finding out he’s a werewolf and (albeit unintentionally) caused the most traumatic event of his life. This should feel like the upmost betrayal but we get absolutely nothing for these two and it makes me want to bite someone. Like, the fact Chris trusts Ryan enough to keep everyone inside the lodge but Caleb doesn’t even say bye?? Does he not trust him enough to keep a secret? Is he afraid he won’t take it seriously and get himself killed? *grabbing the devs by the throat and shaking them like a rag doll* What is their relationship like?

i've never really thought about the potential of their relationship tbh, especially the potential of it after ALL THAT happening... and i mainly blame the devs for that. for like, throwing in ryan's relationship with the hackett kids seemingly last second. and because we actually dont get to SEE how close ryan is with them, it's hard for the viewer to care? if that makes sense? and that's something i feel the game really struggles with....... they LOVE telling but not showing and it really affects how i view relationships within game

and speaking of, it SUUUCKS so bad that kaylee is killed no matter what you do within the story. and this is coming from someone who doesn't care a whole lot about the hackett family. out of them all i absolutely feel the worst for caleb and kaylee, so it's sad that only one of them has the opportunity to live depending on yr choices

youre absolutely right about it being a disappointment though... in regards to ryan not reacting more, i mean. because there's no way he never like. reflected on past experiences and finally pieced together just what on earth was going on with both him and kaylee in the past. dylan describes them as strange and reclusive kids (iirc) and its safe to assume now that their demeanor were heavily influenced by them being werewolves. which makes me wonder. how long has ryan known chris? was it before they got infected? was it after? when did ryan first arrive as a camper anyway?

it's definitely sad but youre right in ryan probably feeling betrayed. of course, caleb and the hacketts in general really had no other choice i suppose but. as you said, ryan saw hacketts quarry as a second home, he absolutely saw them as family. so to now know just how much he DIDNT actually know about his second family, it must be so. man. i cant even imagine what ryan will eventually go through

i think as the hacketts dove deeper and deeper into shit, they sort of couldnt tell anyone outside their immediate family about the situation they were in. even someone as close as ryan. due to how.... legally messy and whatnot it all has become. i don't think it's not that caleb didn't trust ryan, i think it's just that, at this point at least, he physically couldn't tell him anything without there being huge repercussions. which is unfortunate, because we know how much they probably wanted to tell ryan

and in relation to chris, i think it was a bit dumb of him to relay something as heavy and important as THAT to ryan. it of course shows how much trust he actually has in him, but at the same time, the chances of the rest of the group actually listening to ryan is slim. and that's like. that's what we see happen. at the least, chris himself telling everyone would've (hopefully) increased the urgency of the situation. not that they wouldve listened to him either though, i just think there probably wouldve been more second thoughts hearing it from chris than ryan. aka. someone else their age / someone they view as an equal

a bit off topic from the previous thought but. can you imagine how ryan would react to finding out that kaitlyn was the one to kill caleb? sure it was caleb in his werewolf form and in the moment, kaitlyn and dylan really had no other choice, but. there's no way that doesn't eat away at him. knowing that 2 of his friends were basically the cause of another close friend's death

long story short. now that you mention it, it is dumb how we never got more of ryan w/ caleb and kaylee, considering the amount of focus they put on his relationship w/ the hacketts in chapter 1

[evie-black]

Story as requested

SO This is a story about the time my mom almost took me out of school because a guy from my class made eye contact with her.

This is a long story so bear with me. Idk if i have already told this or not. Anyways we will need to meet come characters first and some context-

U - one of my friends from my class and the bitch who started the whole thing and didnt get wrapped in the drama what so ever N- Hate her also it genuinely surprises me that the people who have the most shit to say about me have a cgpa below 2.0 like bestie wtf up with this ? (kylies friend at the time) R - my idiot fucking then best friend from my neighbourhood A- a good guy friend. We went to the same French tuition. T- N's younger brother .... S- my senior Q- the guy in question who had no fucking relation with the whole drama

LETS START WITH THE STORY -

So basically me and U got selected to participate in this English play competition

S was also in the same play and me and him started to became friends, teasing, talking to each other

So in lunch period ( all the girls sit in a huge circle so that no ones left out or feel left out of the group because groupism is really exclusionary in my school)... SO basically U is like zoe he soo likes you. S soo likes you..

I was like nah. We just friends

Ok so basically N had the biggest crush on S so when she over heard this she came to me and said, " Stay. Away. From. Him"

Now i didnt want any drama so i was like sure girl i gottcha back. But i didnot know this was the start of a drama movie.

SO basically i was walking cum gossiping with my best friend and telling her what all happened in the school today and i saw N and her friends ( we live nearby ) and she goes " you have no clue how desperate she is for attention " Now i believe in being kind and all but aint no body shitting on me. Even god damned Jesus would hold my purse while I smack the shit out of her. SO anyways.. I went ahead and we had a heated discussion where i roasted her ass (shouldnt have in retrospect)

My bestie was like, "girl what that all about ?" Then I dramatically started to explain what was happened at school that day. And she was like how does he look ? I told her, "ngl he cute"

SO basically T over heard this and said, "bro he is our senior have some shame !" and then my friend tried to explain that he misunderstood but idk how much she could (lying hoe.)

Now I go to school to school and he (S) was waiting for me on the stair case and asked me, " did you tell everyone I am your boyfriend ?" And I was just like BOY which stupid ass dog bit you ? Why would I say that ?

And apparently they spread this rumour that i was a desperate and i said that i was dating S ..

In that day alone loads of guys asked me if I was actually dating him .. And all i could say was :/

Now in last period Q asked me if i was in a relationship. Now my friend A over heard this and thought that Q was dating me or asking me out or what ever that he understood..

Bottom line A knew there were rumours that I was dating some guy and he thought I was dating Q

Finals were really near ( like 3-4 days near) so I told my mom that I'll sit at home and study as nothing is happening in my school and also because I was tired of the rumours

SO she was like ok cool

I didnt go to my french tution that weekend as my french exam was the last exam and as I had maths next week.

So A thought my mom got to know about my relationship thats why she took me out of everything everyone knows how strict my family is

It had been a while and also i needed to clear a few doubts so i decided to go to school.

Now I come back from school and my moms like " is there something you want to tell me ?" lemme do it in a dialogue way -

Mom : Is there something you want to tell me ?

Me : nope . why ?

* hard slap *

Me : 👁👄👁

Apparently this idiot (A) had told maam that the reason i didnt attend class was because my mom took me out of everything after finding about my relationship

Even my teacher was concerned so she called home and said , "Let it be, she is young , she will make mistakes" and my mom had no clue wtf this was abt and so she got to know that i am dating Q and and thought thats why i didnt wanna go to school or tuitions (bestie i just needed to desperately revise maths and study other as i had left it for later and get out of the rumours )

Now I was although not allowed to watch tv or use mobile or laptop hell wasnt even talked to. I was allowed to give the exam.

Now I was a bit late for dispersal as I was discussing my answers with my teacher and she asked me why i didnt come to school for a few days..

My mom possibly made eye contact with Q during dispersal and She was convinced that i had broken up with Q and hence he was giving my mother the stink eye

WTF CANT PEOPLE STOP ASSUMING

This drama of me and S and Q (in my mothers, A and tuition teachers mind) did not die out for a yr.

Tagging : @ginasholtsoundboard@desi-dark-academia@drenched-in-ichor

[freebooter4ever]

I called my grandma while i was on the hill today watching the sunset. We chit chatted for a while and then she brought up grandpa - and i'll always be honored that im one of the few she can talk to about this stuff - she doesn't like to discuss serious things but after going through grandpa's whole hospitalization and deterioration and the aftermath together mostly just her and i, i think she feels like she can be open with me.

I also havent changed my book of face photos since 2018 (my grandpa died dec 31 2017), i rarely go on the site anymore i set up insta so that it auto posts the main things, but yeah i cant bring myself to make my profile photo not grandpa and i when we 'snuck' the 63 mustang out of the garage and went on a cruise to mt rainier (Grandma definitely knew lol)(lucky for us we didnt have any issues or break down or run out of gas bc i dont know if she would have come rescued us haha). The 'cover photo' i put up to go along with this is a photo of them that started out as a joke - grandma is terrified of flying but grandpa's passion has always been flying/space. And its a photo of the two of them walking through a 70's era plane holding hands with the joke being that the only way we can get grandma on a plane is when it's parked in a museum.

Grandma told me tonight when she goes to the grocery store or out walking with my aunt, and she sees older couples who are just sort of existing near each other or walking at different speeds or whatever...that she remembers how she and grandpa would always hold hands. How grandpa would always come find her in a room if they were seperated for longer than an hr. Just that connection - really truly a couple. They never did anything without each other. And they actually enjoyed it. Grandma once told me that everything even the little day to day things were always exciting with grandpa, and that lasted for over 60 yrs of marriage.

Its a small miracle that grandma has lived this long without grandpa, i still feel like im waiting for the other shoe to drop. She seems happy, but there is something missing. I mailed her a bunch of photos i printed for her of them and the house and things - i was always taking photos of them and they would laugh at me because they didnt like having their photo taken at the time. And initially i sent printed photos to my aunt, hoping she would tell me which ones were the best and if grandma would like any. And of course grandma was visiting when my aunt got them, so i was immediately ratted out and grandma requested the photos for herself too.

There was one photo of grandpa and grandma on a 'christmas boat' in lake union - which was one of THE most magical christmas's i've ever had - just me, grandma, grandpa, my aunt and her family. And we had a heck of a time convincing grandma the boat was safe, but she relented and she enjoyed it because she got to sit inside and listen to a live choir. And that was where i took the photo, just them sitting in the very middle of this medium sized boat so grandma couldn't see out the windows, and grandpa was smiling. And grandma says this photo is now her favorite because there are so few photos of him smiling, and she apparently keeps the print framed by her bed and tells him good morning/goodnight every day.

The boat was actually one of the times i got the feeling that grandpa understood that his son was kind of falling down on the dad job - there were a lot of things grandpa stepped in for: he taught me how to drive, he was the one who came to my high school graduation, he was the one who heard all about my first career woes when i lost my job. My dad did a lot too, obviously, but grandpa understood how lonely i was during that time, how much work my dad and brother could be. Though i dont think it was till the year he died, when i spent more time with him living in their house, that grandpa realized my ambition and drive was equal to his own when he was my age.

I miss grandpa, both in that big abstract grief way. But also in the day to day silly way where i just miss being able to make him and grandma laugh - whether through my stories and antics while i was living with them for that year. Or before that largely through the photos and posts i would make for them to read (i lived in pittsburgh for 10 yrs, they were in seattle so i only saw them twice a year during my vacation days). (my grandma's current request is that i 'explain' my photos more nowadays, apparently lately my posts have been too vague and mysterious. She was REALLY confused about the cairn city dinosaurs and the photo i took of buster keaton's lamp)

The ghost feeling i got after grandpa's death is starting to lift. I still feel a little seperate from actual existence, and the pandemic certainly pushed me back into that unexpectedly, but i think despite the setback getting more of a 'normal' life will be easier this year. Yesterday was actually a good start - i met a bunch of people i dont think i was a complete social reject it was the first time ive done anything on the anniversary of grandpa's death and i only had a few moments during the night where i was worried i'd break down in tears. Overall decent.

One of the weirdest things, considering how quiet and simple my grandparents preferred life, is to think how even with grandpa gone. There is still a part of him - the biggest part of his intellect really - that will go on, maybe forever. And that's the lunar rover still out there on the moon. Only one part of his space contribution but a part that is physical and enduring.