#after having a horrible day already on wednesday i dropped my keys in my car and the charm popped out again

[hecksupremechips]

Love being a boy who likes others boys like damn this is pretty silly I can’t believe we aren’t all doing this

[reidsnose]

Young and Beautiful

overview: spencer and reader spend the day together and feel like little kids again

genre: fluff

a/n: ok i think this concept is so cute but i feel like i wrote it dumb LMAO but its fine i'm excited tho lmk if y'all like it at all :)

masterlist

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the setting sun peaked through the trees as you and Spencer walked around aimlessly. it wasn't often that you had days off, let alone enough to spend together. and the city was curiously empty, the usual bustle of the day having died down by evening. most people are itching to go home on a random Wednesday night.

"i really don't like the look of those clouds y/n." Spencer warned, pointing towards a large, dark gray cloud.

"i already told you i checked the weather and they said no rain!" you countered, though you had to admit the cloud looked pretty hefty. "it will probably just pass us over."

he hummed a hesitant agreement and carried on with the conversation you two were having. you looked around as the two of you talked, taking in the peace of the moment. the light breeze, the the hum of distant cars as you neared a park, the way the sunlight sparkled in Spencer's eyes as he talked, a golden tint covering the world around you.

he watched you soaking up the beauty around you, wondering if you ever saw your own. you were truly the most beautiful person alive. inside and out. he smiled to himself as your eyes lingering on the empty playground.

"you wanna go to the playground?" he asked, your eyes lighting up.

"is that weird? like were fully adults why is that twisty slide calling my name?" you giggled.

in a surge of confidence, he grabbed your hand and started running towards the playground with you, the rouge on your cheeks masked by the flush of a quick run. when he was around you, he felt like a kid again. you did too.

you tried not to think about how your hand tingled from holding his. it was only a couple of seconds and probably meant nothing, but you couldn't shed that wonderful feeling.

you guys raced to the slide, giggling like a bunch of school kids at recess. he beat you to the twisty slide, climbing quickly to the top and sliding down head first right off the end. you followed immediately after, arms stretched in front of you like superman and landing on the floor next to him.

"God, this reminds me of making a 'best friend' every time i went to the playground as a kid," you laughed, standing up and offering him a hand.

"cant say i relate to that," he chuckled, grabbing your outstretched hand and hoisting himself off the ground, sending a surge of electricity through his veins.

"oh come on! you never met another kid at the park and you two swore to be best friends forever and then never saw each other again?"

"nope," he replied, popping the p, "i didn't go to the playground much when i was little, nor was i the most sociable kid."

"hmm..." you hummed, "well i think you need to experience that."

he chuckled, but this time it was your turn to grab his hand and lead him somewhere. you two ran to get under the jungle gym, his long legs struggling to fit underneath.

"what are we doing under here?" he laughed, grunting as he pulled on his legs so he could sit criss cross.

"you're making your first ever playground best friend." you answered simply, sticking out your pinky. "do you...state your full name.."

"Spencer Walter Reid." he laughed, looping his pinky with yours.

"do you Spencer Walter Reid pinky promise that we will be best friends forever and ever?" you asked, trying hard to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"i do." he answered, shaking your intertwined pinkies up and down after he was met with silence.

"ok now ask me," you whispered.

"do you...state your full name.." he echoed.

"y/f/n." you giggled.

"do you y/f/n pinky promise that we will be best friends forever and ever?" he asked, stifling a smile.

"i do." you answered, pinkies still linked in front of you.

"ok now what?" he whispered.

"by the power vested in me by this playground, i now pronounce us best friends forever. we may now kiss our thumbs." you announced.

he laughed confused and you both leaned in, pecking your own thumbs on the pinky promise hand, only the distance of your linked hands between your lips.

he blurted a fact on the history of kissing, how it was used in the olden days to seal the deal. he also mentioned how all the pinky promises he's ever done never involved him kissing his thumb, you laughed and said that it must be a Vegas thing.

you two used just about every piece of playground equipment, truly feeling like little kids again. giggling and screaming and being immature, your inner children completely taking over.

a clap of thunder interrupted you two while taking turns jumping off of the swings. your eyes grew wide as you looked at each other, recalling how you swore it wasn't going to rain.

just as you opened your mouth to say it still might not rain, it started absolutely pouring. the both of you were drenched in seconds, grabbing haphazardly onto eachothers hands and breaking out into a sprint, running as fast as both of you could in the direction of Spencer's apartment (which was much closer than yours).

but he did not have the long distance endurance, and to be honest neither did you and after a few minutes of running, you guys were still about half a mile away, huffing and puffing and soaking wet.

Spencer wasn't sure if most of his breath was lost from running, or from holding onto you this long. maybe a mix of both?

"lets just walk! were soaked already so who cares!" he shouted over the pitter patter of the storm, still hand and hand with you.

"who are you and what have you done with Spencer," you laughed, lifting your joined hands above you and twirling underneath.

he only chuckled a response, this time he lifted your intertwined hands allowing you to twirl again, humming a classical piece horribly off key.

the two of you started dancing down the sidewalk, spinning and jumping and swaying and leaping and laughing til you could barely stand. his lanky limbs flying left and right as you took turns humming different styles of music, even opting for an Irish jig at one point. and all in the pouring rain.

this was arguably the most fun either of you had ever had and we all know what happens to time when you're enjoying yourself. before you knew it you guys had arrived at his apartment.

water dripped from the both of you as you ran up the stairs, slipping and sliding all over the place.

"let me give you some of my clothes to change into so you don't have to drive home all soaked," he offered, unlocking the door and beckoning you to come inside.

"thanks bestie," you giggled, suppressing a shiver as you stepped inside.

he grabbed two towels, handing you one as you followed him into his room and watched him searching his dresser for something to give you.

he gave you a pair of sweatpants and told you to pick any sweater you wanted, causing you both to turn a deep shade of red as you realized you were sharing clothes.

he grabbed some clothes for himself and went to go change in the bathroom, letting you use his bedroom for more privacy. it was always the little things he did for you that made your heart burst.

you pulled his sweater over your head, taking in the smell of him that lingered on it. you smiled to yourself as you did, realizing you're already close enough with him to recognize it.

you finished changing and walked out of his room, seeing him reading on his couch, lounging in comfy clothes.

the sight of you in his clothes left him speechless, he imagined if you two were dating this might be a common occurrence. he shook his head of the thought and stood up as you offered him a smile, grabbing your keys off of the counter.

"thank you for today Spencer, it was.." you looked up at him trying not to get lost in his eyes, "..so much fun."

"thank you for making me feel like a kid again, there aren't many people who can do that. i don't know what i would do without you" he smiled, stepping slightly closer to you.

you couldn't believe your ears, or what was about to come toppling out of your mouth. he was just being so sweet and sentimental, your brain short circuited.

"love you forever." you blurted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

to your surprise (and delight), he stuck out his pinky, which you gladly looped with your own.

"love you more." he professed, leaning in to kiss his thumb.

him admitting this gave you an incredible rush of confidence and as you both went in to seal the deal of the pinky promise, you tightened your pinky with his and pulled your hands down, pecking his lips with your own.

it was a quick kiss but you still felt like you were on top of the world.

Spencer barely had time to process what had happened before it was already over. he couldn't believe it. the perfect kiss with the most perfect girl and he nearly missed it.

he pulled you back for one more, slightly longer kiss, just to make sure. you both smiled into it, floating around on cloud nine.

you pulled away and smiled widely at his lovesick face before giving a small wave and walking out the door, scampering down the stairs and out to your parked car.

he snapped out of his daze and ran to the window, waving goodbye to you with the worlds dopiest smile on his face. it dropped suddenly as he realized he never truly asked you out on a date.

"y/n!" he called from the window. you looked back up at him and waved, "do you wanna go out this weekend?"

you laughed before calling back at him, "its a date!"

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru

[sunmoonandeddie]

(FAKE) BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP CHALLENGE BECAUSE I GOT DUMPED

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,029

summary: If there’s one thing you hate more than anything, it’s disappointing your viewers.  But it’s looking like you might have to, since after your breakup with fellow YouTuber Thor Odinson, you have no one to film a highly requested Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video.  That is, until your best friend, Natasha, steps in.

warnings: swearing

masterlist

a/n: Let me know what you think!

“Nat, what the fuck am I going to do?”  You asked with a groan, flopping back onto your bed.  Your typically immaculate bedroom was in a state of disarray. Clothing was littered all over the floor, your bed hadn’t been made in days.  Hell, you couldn’t remember when you last showered, let alone cleaned your room.

“First things first, you’re going to shower,” the redhead said, her nose scrunching up as she sat behind you on the bed.  “Because—and I say this with so much in my heart—you reek.”

You huffed, glaring up at her.  “I’ve been having a rough time.”

“I know,” she said, though that didn’t stop her from pulling you off the bed and pushing you towards the bathroom.  She even went as far as starting the water for you and setting two towels on the toilet for you to grab.  “I thought that it was mutual,” she said, having to almost shout over the roar of the water as she pulled herself up to sit on the sink counter.

You frowned at the wall as you lathered the shampoo into your hair.  “It… was.  But I don’t know…,” you said, “We were together for almost two years.  I thought…  I thought he was the love of my life.  I guess it just hurts to be wrong.”

And that’s truly what the root of it was.  You and Thor had been together for a little over a year and a half and it had easily been the best relationship of your life.

But that was clearly over.

You leaned your forehead against the wall, letting the hot water just run over you.  “It probably says something that I’m mostly upset about not being able to give my viewers that Boyfriend Does My Makeup video, huh?”

Natasha barked out a laugh, a smile tugging at her lips.  She knew you’d be okay after she got you out of your filth. Cleaning your room could come later. First thing after your shower was to get you out of the house.  “At least it was mutual and he didn’t, like, cheat on you or anything.”

You scrubbed at your skin with a loofah, letting your conditioner sit in your hair.  “We both know that Thor would never cheat on anyone.  He can’t keep a secret to save his life, and he’d feel too bad.”

“You’ve got a point,” she said, picking up her phone as it dinged with a notification.  “Hey, is it okay if we stop by Sam’s before going grocery shopping?”

“I don’t care,” you said, finishing washing up.  You hadn’t been to her boyfriend’s house, but you’d known him since the two of them got together two years before.  Every time you’d seen him, it was usually at Natasha’s house.  “I thought he filmed on Wednesdays?”

“He does, but he left his favorite pair of tennis shoes at my place.”

Fitness gurus and their fucking tennis shoes.

You finally got out of the shower and brushed your teeth, pulling on fresh clothes for the first time in days.  And yeah, it was a hoodie and a pair of leggings, but it still counted.

“No makeup?” Nat asked quietly, and you bit your lip, frowning. The thought of stepping into your filming room was too much at the moment, and that’s where you kept all your makeup.

Part of being a beauty guru and all.

Her hand went to your cheek, pinching it softly before heading for the front door.  “Well, you know you look stunning no matter what.”

You let out a weak laugh.  “Even when I’m crying?”

“Even when you’re crying.”

Your phone went off when you were almost to Sam’s, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing it out the window.

“Do you still have notifications on for him?” Natasha asked, looking at you with huge green eyes from the driver’s side.

“Um…  No?” You hid your phone screen from her the best you could.

She reached over, grasping at it even though she was the one driving.  “Hand me your phone.”

“What?!  Nat, you’re driving!”

“Give me the phone!”

“No!”  You were seriously considering rolling down the window when she snatched it from your hands.

She held onto it until she pulled into Sam’s driveway, reading, “@thorodinson tweeted: ‘New Video Posted: Life Update.’”  She turned to you, saying, “Oh, come on.  That doesn’t mean it’s about—”

You rolled your eyes, hitting the video and opening it.  Your ex’s god-like face popped up on the screen, and he looked a little worse for wear.

“Hello, uh, everyone,” Thor said, rubbing his hands on his jeans.  “So, uh…  If you haven’t watched my last video, my girlfriend and I decided to end things.  I know this’ll come as a shock to everyone—”

Natasha shut off the video, grumbling as she grabbed Sam’s tennis shoes from the backseat, “Okay, okay.  But you two are the ones who decided to upload a breakup video together, à la Liza and David.”

“It’s not like we hate each other,” you said as the two of you finally got out of the car.  You stared up at the house, eyes widening as you shoved your hands in the pocket of your hoodie.  It was easily one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen.  “We were good friends before we started dating, and even if it takes us a while, we’ll get back to that eventually.  At least, I hope so.”

“That’s a tall order, Bambi.”

“Well, good thing he’s six foot four or whatever.”

She gave you the look that you called the Romanoff Stare, before slipping her key into the front door.  “Sam? Baby?  I’m here!” She called out, leading you inside.

“Sometimes I forget how much money Sam has,” you said as you looked around the front foyer.  It was absolutely stunning, with gorgeous marble flooring and dark mahogany furniture. There was a grand staircase leading from the center of the room up to the second floor.

“It’s not just him,” she reminded you, leading you further inside.  “His friends Steve and Bucky live with him, too.”

“Yeah, the…  the Fitness Bros, right?”  To be completely honest, you hadn’t ever seen any of the groups’ videos.  It wasn’t exactly your thing, though you had seen Sam’s vlogs when Natasha was in them.

She bit her lip as she went quiet, clearly listening for where the residents of the house were.  After a long moment, a grin spread over her lips.  “Technically, they’re ShieldFitness, but they have that rivalry going on with the Science Bros, so yeah.  The Fitness Bros.  Steve and Bucky are chill.  You’d like them.”  She waved you along, leading you downstairs.  As the door opened, you could hear music blasting and the sound of weights being lifted and dropped and lifted again.  “Boys! I’m here!”

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, you froze.

The entire basement had been converted into a state-of-the-art gym.

“Holy shit,” you said, taking it all in.  You hadn’t been to a gym in years, not since…  Well.

“Hey, baby!”

You looked up just in time to see an extremely sweaty Sam Wilson bound over to Natasha and pull her into a passionate kiss.  “Hey, Sam.  Nice to see you, too.”

The man in question smirked as he pulled away from the kiss.  “Hey, Bambi.”  His face fell as he saw the state you were in.  “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” you said with a shrug, pulling out your phone.  You could at least pretend to be okay if you kept your nose on your screen.

Natasha shook her head at Sam, mouthing, “She’s not.”

The two other men in the gym hadn’t yet noticed that they had visitors. That, or they were just deciding to ignore the two of you.  You were okay with either option, if you were being honest.  You hated meeting new people when you didn’t have makeup on, as horrible and insecure as it sounded.  It was just… makeup was your thing.  You didn’t leave the house without it ninety percent of the time.

You felt your heart sink as you saw the texts your manager had sent you.

Maria Hill: You need to find a video to replace the Boyfriend Does My Makeup one ASAP.

Maria Hill: People are extremely upset about you and Odinson breaking up.

Maria Hill: And I know that you’re upset, and this is going to sound like it’s in poor taste, but your breakup won’t keep people entertained for long.  #thambibreakup already stopped trending a few days ago.

“Bambi?  You good?”

Rubbing your eyes, you passed the phone to Natasha without another word. Your head was pounding from the effort it took not to cry.

She hummed as she stared down at the phone, though she looked up in surprise as she heard more weights crashing to the ground.

Across the gym, a blond that you vaguely remembered from some of Sam’s vlogs—Steve?—was doing deadlifts.  He wiped his brow as he finished his last rep, smiling bashfully down at the ground as the brunet—Bucky, if your memory was right—rushed over.

“You’re steadily dead lifting three hundred pounds, man,” he said, fist bumping the other.

And it was like a light bulb went off in Natasha’s head.  “Steve!  Get over here!”

Sam eyed his girlfriend suspiciously.  “What are you up to?”

“I’m fixing Bambi’s problem, and getting Steve out of the house and the gym,” she said under her breath, before turning to where the man was jogging towards the three of you, the brunet following close behind.

“Hey, Nat, what’s up?” He asked, grabbing his water bottle and chugging down half of it.

You tucked your phone into your hoodie pocket, figuring it’d be rude to be on it when you were getting introduced to new people.

“Steve, this is my best friend, Bambi,” she said, pushing you towards him. “Bambi, this is Steve.”

“Hi.  Nice to meet you,” you said, smiling sheepishly as you held your hand out for him to shake. Despite the way you presented on your YouTube channel, you were actually rather shy.  Meeting new people was nerve wracking and exhausting, to say the least.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he said, shaking your hand firmly.  It surprised you a little when he clasped his free hand over it, squeezing softly as his startling blue eyes met yours.

Your cheeks went red as he realized he’d been shaking your hand for a few moments longer than what was probably considered normal, and he dropped it quickly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“And I’m Bucky,” the brunet said, inserting himself into the conversation. He was grinning, knowing that he had interrupted what one might consider a moment.

“Hi, Bucky, I’m Bambi,” you said with a giggle, your cheeks going red as he shot you a playful wink.

Natasha rolled her eyes at his antics before turning back to the blond. “So, Steve, how would you feel about doing Bambi’s makeup?”

“What?!”  You whirled on Natasha, eyes widening.

His brows furrowed as his eyes darted back and forth between the two of you. “I mean…  I’m not opposed.  What for?”

“Bambi was going to film a Boyfriend Does My Makeup video with Thor Odinson before they broke up last week, and she’s worried about disappointing her viewers while her manager is on her ass about putting out more content.”

“Look, it’s ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head rapidly.  “You don’t have—”

“I’d love to.”

“—to do it just because—”  You broke off, blinking at him slowly.  “Wait… What?”

Steve shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.  “I’d love to be in your video.  I don’t know anything about makeup, but I’ll do my best.”

You couldn’t help but grin.  “It kind of makes it better if you don’t know anything.”  For just a second, you forgot about all the shit surrounding your breakup as you stared into his eyes.

“Name a time and a place, sugar.”

The next morning, you rushed around your house, desperately trying to make sure there was no sign of your post-breakup-sadness left.  You’d spent the night before cleaning your room and scrubbing down the kitchen.  There’d been dishes piled up from the past week, covered in whatever you’d managed to make in your stupor after getting through the first few days with zero appetite.

You had just finished setting up your filming room when you heard the knock on your front door.  “Coming!” You shouted, bounding down the stairs.  Your socked feet slid against the hardwood floor, and you took a deep breath before throwing open the door, revealing Steve.  “Hey!”

“Hey, yourself,” he said, before holding up a takeout bag.  “I got us lunch.  Natasha mentioned that you were dying to try that new sushi place on forty-second, so I figured…”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, shock written all over your face. He was already filming a video for your channel as a favor.  Not to mention, on such short notice.  Hell, you’d never done a collaboration without more than three days’ notice, let alone less than twenty-four hours.

He stepped inside as you led him through, up to the makeup room.

“We can eat while we do the video,” you said, flicking on the light for your filming room.  It was a little dimmer than most normal ceiling lights, but you kept it that way since you just used a ring light for your videos anyway.  “This is where the magic happens.”

“This is… amazing,” he said with a bit of a laugh as he took in your whole set up.  “This is way nicer than the stuff we use on our channels.”

You shrugged, your cheeks going a little red as you sat down on the bench in front of your vanity.  “Yeah, but I’m sure your equipment can handle a lot more roughhousing, since it’s used in a gym and everything.”

Steve hummed in response, the trance not breaking for another few seconds.

When he finally took his seat next to you, you let out a long huff of air.  “Do we just want to wing it?” You asked, biting your lip.

“Whatever you want, sugar,” he said, his warm smile reassuring you.

After a final nod for confirmation, you grabbed the little remote for your camera and hit the record button.  After a second, the little red light appeared and you grinned, immediately jumping into your YouTuber personality.  “Hello, gorgeous, and welcome to my channel!”  You knew that your subscribers would be able to tell that you were a little bit off, but then again, practically the entire YouTube community knew about the breakup by now.  “So, as you can probably tell by the title of this video, we’re going to be doing the Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge.  But…” You trailed off, motioning to Steve. “This isn’t the usual tall, blond, hunk of a man you’re used to seeing.  This is Steve Rogers, A.K.A. one-third of the channel ShieldFitness.”

“Hello!” He said, his blue eyes twinkling.  He was kind of mesmerized by just how many products were in front of him, and he could see several makeup towers against the wall, out of view, that definitely held much, much more.

“Steve has so graciously agreed to do this video after Natasha guilt tripped him, because I got dumped,” you said, grinning as Steve barked out a laugh. He clearly hadn’t been expecting how blunt you were going to be with the situation.  Your gaze softened a little as you took in the sight of him laughing, his hand clapping over his chest as his nose scrunched up.

He was… quite beautiful.

“So, what do you say we jump right in?”

Steve nodded, letting out one last, breathless chuckle as he tried to regain his composure.  “Alright, uh… I have no idea what I’m doing, so we’ll see how this goes.”  He stared at the products on your desk for what felt like forever.

“I haven’t put on any products at all.  This is my face fresh from the shower.”  You suddenly remembered that he had picked you up lunch, and you grabbed the bag.  “While you do that, I’m going to unpack some of this food.”  While he tried to decide where to start, you continued to talk to the camera, setting take out containers no the vanity, “Can we just talk about how amazing this man is?  He almost gets blackmailed into doing this video, and he still brings me food without me asking.”

“Uh…  We start with this stuff, right?” He asked, holding up a bottle of lotion.  “Natasha puts… something like this on her face before makeup, I think.”

Lotion.

You shrugged, trying not to make a face.  “This is all on you, buddy.”

God, you hoped he didn’t put actual lotion on your face.

Helplessly, you watched as he squirted a little bit out onto his fingers, before turning to you.  “May I?” He asked, waiting until you nodded to start gently rubbing it into your skin.

The fact that he’d put lotion on your face instead of moisturizer meant that you were going to have to wash your face immediately after, no matter how the makeup turned out.  If you left it on for too long, there was no way your face wasn’t going to break out.

“You’re grimacing,” he said with a groan, pursing his lower lip as he finished rubbing the lotion into your face.  “I already messed it up, didn’t I?”

“No, no,” you giggled, shaking your head.  “Keep going.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he turned back to the neatly organized products.  “Uh… Well, this says primer, so that means it has to go first, right?”  He frowned, realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer from you and he wasn’t allowed to use his phone.

It was kind of killing you that he was using his fingers for everything so far.

“Can you at least tell me the order you do things in?” He asked, looking a little overwhelmed.  “Because my ex did her makeup face, eyebrows, eyes, lips.  But Natasha does it eyebrows, eyes, face, lips when she does it at our house.”

“I do it how Natasha does it.”  You took the momentary break to snatch a takeout container marked ‘spider roll’ and a pair of chopsticks.

He nodded, scanning the vanity until he found what he must’ve been looking for.  “Okay, eyebrows.”  He held up a little Anastasia Dipbrow, and you could’ve wept with happiness at his choice.

There was hope for him, yet.

Steve took a moment to dig through your brushes, before picking out a Morphe M124 brush—a firm shadow brush definitely not meant for eyebrows. “So, how’d you get the name ‘Bambi?’” He asked as he leaned in close, carefully bringing the brush to your brows. His breath smelled of mint gum, and his hand was a pleasant warmth against your face.

“Because Nat says I’m the clumsiest person she’s ever met,” you said with a short laugh, trying your best not to mess him up.  “She said that I remaindered her of a newborn fawn.  We actually became friends because I tripped and spilled queso all over her when we were in college, and then sat with her in the laundry room for two hours.

You had no idea what happened with eyeshadow, since he made you close your eyes during the entirety of it.  And you were surprised with how well he managed to put on mascara.

“I use this thing, right?  And… what’s it called?...  I bounce it or something,” he said, brows furrowing as he stared at one of your many Beauty Blenders.  He picked out a foundation from the eighteen you had sitting on the vanity, and he carefully began to drag it across your skin.

Dry.  He was dragging your dry Beauty Blender across your face.

“I don’t like that you’re biting your lip,” he muttered, though there was an embarrassed smile on his lips.

“Why not?” You laughed.

“It makes me nervous because I know I’m doing something wrong,” he said, his blue eyes flickering up to meet yours for just a second before he quickly looked away again, his cheeks tinging pink.

“You’re doing… fantastic,” you reassured him, though the both of you knew it was only half-true at best.

He shot you a look, and your heart fluttered a little in your chest.

Steve went quiet for a few moments, before asking, “So what happened between you and Thor?”  After a second, he quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me.  And I don’t know if you like doing jump cuts in your editing or if you even want people to know what happened and—”

“Steve, it’s fine,” you said, effectively cutting him off.  You took in a deep breath.  “Uh…  Well… We just kind of grew apart, I guess. We both want different things from life and, hell, his move out to L.A. just kind of showed us how much it wasn’t working anymore.  We’ll always be friends, and I’ll always love him, but…  I don’t know.  It’s more of a family kind of love now, if that makes sense?”

“It makes total sense.”

“And it was no one’s fault.  Truly.” You closed your eyes as you spotted him grab your translucent powder.  Usually you used it to bake your face, but he just did an all over dusting.  “What we had was really, really good, and I’ve never had anything bad to say about him.”  You paused. “Except that sometimes he forgot to put the seat down and I’d fall into the toilet at three in the morning.”

He barked out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement.  You could feel him putting on what you hoped was blush and contour, but you had no way to tell without opening your eyes, and you were just enjoying having someone do your makeup for once and not the other way around.

“Okay,” he said after smearing what you prayed was lipstick.  “I think I’m done.”

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve done,” you said, pulling out a hand mirror. You’d put the mirror you usually kept in the center of the ring light beneath the vanity, in order to keep yourself from peeking.  Your eyes widened as you took in your face, your hand slapping over your mouth.

Your foundation was a little bit thin, with how he’d dragged it across your skin and foregone concealer.  Your eyebrows were a good shape, though they were extremely blocked out. Your eyes were alright.  He’d gone simple, only using a shimmery pink eye shadow on the lid.  But, once again, he hadn’t used concealer to set a base.  It didn’t look bad, just not as good as it could’ve gone.  There was even a little bit of gold in the corner of your eyes.  Your mascara was only covering about half of your lashes, and he hadn’t done your bottom ones, but that was probably out of fear, and you wouldn’t fault him that. Your contour was a little heavy, and your blush almost nonexistent.  Your lipstick was… acceptable.

“Ta da,” he said, trailing off as he waited for your reaction.

A laugh bubbled from your lips as you touched your face.  “This isn’t the best I’ve seen, but it definitely isn’t the worst,” you said.

“You know what,” he mused, a triumphant grin on his face.  “I’ll take it.”

Later that night, after you spent three hours editing everything and posted the video, your phone dinged.

Maria Hill: The Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video was brilliant.  No one can shut up about how cute it is.

You hesitated for a moment before muttering, “Fuck it,” and shooting a text off to Steve.

Bambi: Everyone loves the video :)

It took less than two minutes to receive a response.

Steve Rogers: That’s great! Let me know if you ever want to do another video!  Goodnight, sugar :)

Bambi: Goodnight, Steve :)

[astoryworthoftelling]

The Strings of the Universe

PROMPT:

The reader has been living with Tony Stark for the past couple of years. She attends school with her best friend Peter Parker, and while he does not need much help balancing his Spidey duties and school, she needs serious help with their History class and being “just another regular teenager” and keep her secret safe.

A/N: WOW. This took me A LOT of time to write. So I’ve been working in this imagine for a while. Mostly I wanted to be sure that it made sense and that it did not had discrepancy's and that I could capture as much as I could the characters, as well to have good grammar. 

Any-who I hope you enjoy it! Not sure how many parts it will take. Feel free to comment and request!

Word count: 4,639.

Word keys:

Y/n: Your name

Y/L/N: Your last name

Status quo’s:

A.I:  Artificial Intelligene 

P.E. : Physical Education

At the wheel: Person driving; In control of the vehicle.

It started as another regular day, you finally woke up after snoozing your alarm five times, you always put your alarm before 6:00am so instead of snoozing your alarm and being late,  you would actually wake up on time and had the “5 more minutes” of sleep. You quickly went to the bathroom, washed your face, put some makeup so you didn’t look like a zombie, put on some clothes and went downstairs where you found Tony and Pepper already eating some breakfast.

“Morning y/n” Said Pepper with a warm smile “There are more waffles in the kitchen” 

“Morning” You replied “Ah, thank you”

“And there’s plenty of coffee” Tony added 

You picked up a plate and put some waffles, fruit, and of course bacon, served some coffee and went back to the table.

“So any big plans for today?” Tony said 

“Well, I’ll go to school, then Peter and I will go to get something to eat after, then we’ll come back to the tower, he’ll do whatever he needs to and I’ll be in the lab as always” You said 

“Alright” He smiled “Just don’t forget to do homework” 

“Yeah, yeah” You finished breakfast, put the dished in the sink, grab two flasks and filled them with coffee, ran to your room to brush your teeth, pick up your backpack and go to school. 

“See you later!” You yelled as you ran out of the department and head to the elevator.

Once you were down, you saw Happy already waiting for you, you smiled.

“Morning Happy” You said as you gave him one of the flasks “Here you go”

“Thanks, y/n” He said as he took a sip “Ready?”

“Yup” You said as you head to the car, it wasn’t a long drive, you could easily take the metro but you weren’t used to of being surrounded by a lot of people and you felt uneasy in really closed and cramped spaces. So you’re glad that Tony insisted on Happy taking you to school.

Once you arrived you waved your goodbye and thanked Happy, “See you tomorrow” 

“Are you sure you don’t need me after school?” He said

“Yes, I’m trying harder to “push my limits and fit in more”” You said imitating Tony Stark “Plus, I’ll be with Peter, and that helps” You smiled 

“Alright, if you need anything...” He said

“Yes, I’ll call you” You reassured as you waved and went into the school.

For your surprise Peter wasn’t there yet, so that meant to things, one he overslept for being out at night or two he was out right now doing more spidey things. Either way, he was late, you went to your locker and put in the books you didn't need for the first period and took some things out.  

“Don’t you even think about it...” You said putting in the last book as you turned 

“Ah” Peter complained “How do you always do that?” He says surprised 

“Well...” The bell rang “I just know you Parker” You giggled and smile “Now, ready for some really important class of history?” You said sarcastically and walked to your history classroom.

The class was a total nightmare, you could understand math, chemistry, physics, but history, oh boy, it was your living nightmare, so many horrible things that had happened not only in the past century but recently, from World Wars to Wars with aliens and artificial intelligence robots. “Thank you Tony” you thought. So many dates, different Revolutions, more Wars between countries and that was only in the past century, how did the teachers and Tony expect you to learn more from the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, you name it, it was too much. 

“Class, I will hand you the result of your past test, if you happen to fail, then you’ll have a make up test next Wednesday, so you’ll have this week to study” He finished and handled the tests, once you got yours you saw the beautiful red “F” on top of the page.

“Great” You muttered 

Once the class was over, you walked out with Peter.

“So how did you do on the test?” You asked

“I passed, and you?” He replied

“Well, I failed, and now I will have to torture myself studying for the next test” You complained 

“Well, I can tutor you” He said smiling 

“Would you do that?” You said happily

“Yes, of course, that's what friends are, right?” He smiled “But you will have to pay...”

“Well... does pizza and snacks sound good?” You offer

“Perfect” He replied as the next bell rang “Ready for math?

“Yes, please” You said as you walked to your next class.

“You know, not all teenagers will say that with so much enthusiasm” He laughed 

The day went by really fast after history, once school was over you went to your favorite café and had something to eat, then walked around a little and took a bus to the Avengers towers. Taking the bus was easier because you could watch outside the window as you just lost yourself in your thoughts. You arrived at your destination, you walked in as you took your badge out of your backpack and walked in with Peter.

“Alright” you smiled “I’ll see you later” You said as you started walking the opposite way 

“Wait!” He said “So, do you want to start today?” He softly smiled

“Does tomorrow sounds good? I want to clear my head and I will be a little busy the whole afternoon and I still have to finish my English paper” You added

“Ok, so tomorrow around six thirty?” He asked looking while he was looking a little calendar in his phone 

“Yeah, that sounds good” You smiled 

“Miss. Y/n” Said a male voice “Ready?” It was a man wearing a black uniform and was holding a tablet in his hand.

“Yes” You turned to Peter “See you tomorrow” You smiled as you walked towards the man.

After spending nearly six hours in the lab you were exhausted, you felt as if your body was falling apart, you could barely keep your eyes open. You knew that what you were doing was important, not only for you but also for Tony. You wanted to do your best, but how could you keep up trying to live what he called a “Normal teenage life” when you weren't even that close on “Normal” and still do all the tests at school and in the lab. It was madness. 

You walked towards the designated elevator that would bring you up to the apartment in exactly 45 seconds.

“Good afternoon Miss. Y/n” F.R.I.D.A.Y said  

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y, is Tony and Pepper home?” You asked

“Yes, and they are waiting for you” She replied

“Great” You muttered as the bell announcing your arrival to the top floor rang, once the door opened the nice smell of dinner came in. You walked hoping you could sneak into your room, but of course, as F.R.I.D.A.Y said, they were in the living room in front of the elevator.

“Hey kiddo” Tony said “Dinner is ready” 

“Hey, I’ll just drop off this in my room and come back” You smiled. Once you finished you came back and sat for dinner, this night the chef made a stake, sweet potatoes fries, and some salad. “So how was your day?” You asked as always.

“Well, you know keeping track of all hero movement, making sure we don't break most of the laws by saving the world, working on new stuff that won’t destroy also the world” He took another bite of his meal “How about you Potts? He smiled

“The usual, making sure YOU don't get in trouble” She giggled and looked at you “How was school y/n” She softly smiled

“Uhm, well..”You gave a bite to the meat just to make some time “I failed a history test, but Peter is coming tomorrow to tutor me and the make up test is next Wednesday” You said quickly as you quickly ate another bite.

“Y/n” Said Tony in a lecturing voice “You didn’t study for the last test?” He asked

“I did, it’s just history is hard, I can't keep up with all the events, dates and names” You said a little ashamed “I can understand complicated equations in math or physics, and understand the components in chemistry, but history-”

“It’s ok” Pepper said “Don't worry, you’re a good kid, and I know-” She stops and looked at Tony in the eyes and then back at you “WE know that you're doing your best” She smiled as she reached to hold your hand.

“Thanks” you softly smiled you started talking about upcoming events, like Tony was going to travel for business proposes, Pepper had several conferences and you were left with school and the lab. Once you finished you helped pick up the table.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you for a moment” Tony said 

“Can it wait? I need to finish some homework” You looked at him and saw he was worried “Is it urgent?” You made a little frown 

“No, no, it can wait” He said “Don’t overwork yourself, ok?”

“Yeah” You smiled and went back to your room.

You took out the notebooks and your laptop and start doing what was left for homework, it didn't took you a lot of time until you finished it. It was a little late, but you were ready to go to sleep. Quickly you cleaned your face, and decided to take a shower to relax before going to bed. 

The hot water from the shower made your sore body feel better, at the beginning you felt a little sting in your arms and in your back, but after a little it was like it was healing slowly. Once you felt ready, you put on your pajamas, dried a little your hair and braid it so it wouldn’t get tangled and went directly to bed.

The next day as any other week, was pretty much the same routine, you would wake up after snoozing your alarm, eat, grab your stuff, grab coffee for happy and Peter, go to school, meet with Peter at the entrance, go to your first class, eat lunch with Peter, sometimes cover for him if he needed to do Spidey stuff, meet him outside school to have something to eat, go back to the Avengers tower, go to the lab, and at last return home once you were done. But the good thing about this Tuesday was that you would get to spend more time with Peter and luckily for you had the perfect chance to get out of the lab earlier than usual.

After living with Tony for almost four years, you already knew the routine and you were surprised every now and then when something changed, at the beginning it was hard, you had to keep up with learning certain status quo’s, social behavior and interaction with other people, as well for the physical tests, every week they would check your blood and studied it, see if something changed, test physical endurance and see how far you could push yourself.  One of the most difficult things was to open up with Tony the first couple of months, but Pepper was the one who helped you the most in trying to feel welcome and not threatened. 

Now it was different, you looked up to Tony and Peper as a father and mother figure, even though you weren’t related at all. Happy for you was your cool uncle, and you loved how caring he was with you but really indifferent with Peter. The people from the lab used to either fear you or see you as a special project, but now they were used to you and you had a somewhat relationship with them. 

Today’s test went by you felt a little different, you weren’t sure if it was because you were tired or your mind was in another place, but something was wrong, and you weren't the only one who noticed.

“Alright, we’re going to stop today,” Marc said through the speaker at the lab. 

“What?” You said confused “I’m ok, I can finish today’s practice” You said, taking some air in.

“Y/n, as the Senior Researcher, I am telling you that that's it for today” He said once again.

“Marc-” You started complaining and you saw him coming out of the screening room.

“Y/n, no that's it for today, no more “buts” or “Marc I can do it”, you’re going back upstairs and have some rest, besides don’t you have to meet someone?” He said as he started removing the patches that checked your pulse and register your activity during the test.

“How do you-?” You said. 

“Know?” He finished “Mr. Stark, made sure you were on time for your tutoring class” 

“Of course he did...” You said in a low voice 

“Alright, all done” He softly smiled “Tomorrow we’ll resume what we left off, so I recommend you to have a good rest and be ready.”

“Yeah, yeah” You leaned forward and picked up your backpack and took some water “See you tomorrow Marc” You waved goodbye as you walked out of the lab.

You walked in the apartment and went directly to your room, you decided to take a quick shower so you looked fresh. Once you were done you decided to leave your hair wet, and put on some comfy sweatpants and a shirt that said “Accio pizza”. You walked out of your room and put all the books you needed for history, your laptop, you served some popcorn.

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please order a pizza from Joe’s?” You said 

“I already ordered something” Tony said, he was wearing a nice suit and Pepper was wearing a beautiful blue dress

“Oh, thanks, and you both look amazing!” You smiled “Is something happening tonight?”

“Just a dinner date, we’ll be out late” Pepper said 

“Yes, but don’t think you will be unsupervised, F.R.I.D.A.Y is babysitting you” Tony said

“What?” You asked surprised “The A.I is babysitting me?” You frowned “You know you can trust me, right?” You said “Plus, we’re studying for history, nothing more exciting than some other country fighting a war for who knows what reason”

“Yeah, you do need those classes” Tony said “Still-”

“Honey, how about you make sure the car is ready downstairs, I don't want to be late” Pepper interrupted as she pushed him to the elevator. Once the door was closed she returned to you “F.R.I.D.A.Y, just call us if there is an emergency, nothing else.”

“Yes, Miss Potts” said F.R.I.D.A.Y

“Ok, honey have fun, and I’ll make sure Tony doesn't spy on you” She giggled 

“Ok...we’re just going to study, so...no worries? I guess?” You awkwardly smiled. 

Pepper went down and met Tony and he was already talking with Peter, “Poor boy” she thought, Peter was holding his backpack and fidgeting one of the laces of his sweater with the other one. “Hello there Peter” She smiled “How is school?” She said making sure to change the subject Tony was talking with him

“Good Miss. Potts, working hard” He said as he smiled 

“That’s always good, now we won’t keep you busy” She smiled as she softly padded Peter’s arm “Honey, shall we go?” She smiled as she discreetly pulled him to the entrance so they could leave.

“Yes, yes.” He cleared his throat 

Once they were gone, he texted you, 

Peter P: “Already here, got stopped by Mr.Stark”

Y/n: No problem ;) 

He smiled as he went up to the apartment, and the ding announced his arrival.

“Hey Peter” You said “Come in” You smiled and hugged him “Alright I got some popcorn, pizza should arrive any time soon” You smiled proudly

“Always on point, hey can you remind me where the bathroom is?” He said with an innocent smile

“Yeah, down the hall to the right and it’s the second door on the right” You instructed

“Thanks, be right back” He smiled 

“Miss Y/n, pizza has arrived and coming up on the food elevator” F.R.I.D.A.Y announced 

“Thank you” You smiled and you went to the kitchen where an elevator with a microwave size,

“I heard the pizza is here” Peter said 

“Yup its coming up” You smiled as you waiting 

“You know, this is one of the inventions that you never know that you need until you have one” 

“What? Pizza?”You said confused 

“No, the food elevator” He laughed 

“Oh, right” You said as the ding announcing the food was up “Alright, let’s eat!” 

Peter grabbed some plates and salsa. you both sat down on the couch. 

“So how was your afternoon?” You asked as you grabbed a piece 

“Good, you know I patrol a little on the east side, nothing big today” He ate a bite of his piece “How about yours?” 

“Good, I guess” You shrugged “You know, helping the scientists doing their research and just being helpful” You smiled as you went for your second piece.

“Nice, so I know you don’t like talking about it, but what do you do?” 

“It’s classified” You joked 

“Oh, come on y/n” He laughed 

“Peter, you know I can’t talk about that” You insisted

“Not even to your best friend?” He raised his eyebrows

“Peter, you know I would love to tell, you…” you paused for a second as you took a deep breath “Hopefully soon I can, ok?” You smiled 

“Alright, I won't insist more” He smiled and finished his second piece of pizza 

After finishing the pizza and cleaning up you started your lesson, Peter made some notes on the things that were on the past test and things you will be seeing in class. But mostly focused on the Greeks and their influence in other cultures, every now and then he would pop a question to test you. He covered the most important things and as you made more and more notes, things slowly started to fit.

“Alright” you smiled proudly “I think I got it!”

“You think?” He giggled 

“No, no, I got it” You assured as you smiled 

“Good, so tomorrow Romans?” He smiled 

“Yup” You smiled as you stood up and walked out Peter “Thank you Pete, really, you’re really a hero” 

“Yeah, just your friendly neighborhood Peter Parker” He joked and you both laughed 

“Oh boy, go to sleep Parker” You giggled and hugged him 

“See you tomorrow”  He said “Have a good rest!” 

“You too Pete” You smiled and saw the elevator door close. After he left you cleaned up the living room and went to sleep. 

On Wednesday after school, as usual you head to the lab, put your hair in a ponytail and started the usual drill, one hour and a half later every muscle started to ache, you ignore it and continued.

“Y/n, everything ok? Your heartbeat is raising” Marc announced through the speaker 

“Yeah, all good” You lied and continued but around 15 minutes later Marc decided to end the day. You did not argue or insisted to continue this time, you wanted just to go up and rest before Peter came showed up in the apartment. After an hour of the tutoring, Peter had to leave because an emergency in downtown Manhattan and that's when Tony approached you.

“Y/n, can I have a moment with you?” He said

“Yeah” You softly smiled and walked to his studio 

“Is everything ok?” You asked as you sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

“We need to talk, not only me but also Marc has noticed a change in your performance in the lab” He tapped his watch and a couple of screens popped out on the wall “You see, in the past couple months everything has been stable, yes every now and then some things will change, with your blood pressure, or your physical tests will be higher or lower, overall good for what we know” He paused as he looked a new chart dating that day “But this past two weeks things have been going down, I noticed that it wasn’t as the past times, it started going gradually and now its more noticeable, you used endure more as for today your scans were all over the place and that’s why Marc opted to end the session”

“So…what does all of this means?”

“That's the thing, I-“ He stopped and sighed “We don’t know, it can be that you need some rest or it could be something more complicated” He looked at you and noticed the concern in your face “Kid, I know you’re doing your best in every possible way you can, but I can not risk your health and well being, which is why you're having a little break from the lab, but you will have to wear this” He walked to a cabinet and brought out a bracelet “It will monitor how you doing throughout the next couple of days, we’ll recover data and then we’ll know how to proceed” He smiled trying to help you feel more comfortable. “Y/n?”

“Yeah, that sounds reasonable” You let tony adjust the bracelet and set up the system.

“Everything will be ok” He was concerned, of course he wouldn’t admit it, he is the adult here, he has to be strong for you, but you knew he was worried. 

“Thank you” You hugged him tightly 

“It’s ok kid, it’s ok” He repeated and softly padded your back.

Friday finally arrived, you didn’t remember the last time you felt this exhausted, you got ready for school, you picked some books from the locker went to your classes after lunch you had P.E. You would usually enjoy but today wasn’t a good day, the teacher decided that the class was going to have a little rally against each other, it was like an obstacle course, they divided the group in three, you and Michelle ended up in the same group, Peter and Ned in the other two. 

The coach indicated the rules, the race would begin with running half of the running track, then jump over some car wheels, next you will proceed to the monkey bars, do ten burpees, climb up a climbing frame in a triangle shape, and then run the other half of the running track to get to the safe point with the rest of your team, after this the game started. 

Your group was pretty good, so far your team was in first place, there were two people in front of you and then it was your turn and you hoped to be fast enough just to be done with this part of the day. You saw Peter was next and you knew that he could beat the person on your team easily, but in order to keep his abilities in secret, he went slower in the obstacles and arrive at his safe point in second place. Now the person in front of you went, you felt your heartbeat beating like a drum, you saw your teammate arrive at the safe point and you ran as fast as you could, you passed the first two obstacles without a problem, after the burpees you felt your legs quiver and you ran to the climbing frame, once you were down you started to run to the safe point, you were almost sure you were going to be able to make it, until you felt it. Your breathing was getting harder by the second and you had to slow down; your teammates were yelling you to continue, you pushed yourself harder, but you saw the other teams were getting ahead of you. The track started to look further and further away, and without noticing everything went dark as you hit the ground.

“Y/N!!” Peter yelled as he ran off to get you, the coach approached him and told him to get you to the nurse office. As he took you he saw your watch which was flashing different numbers and a message saying “Tony Stark arrival in: 10 minutes”. Once Peter was at the nurse office his phone started to ring, he laid you down in the bed, and answered the phone.

“Mr.Stark?” He said trying to sound calm 

“Peter, are you with Y/n?” He said with urgency 

“Yes Sir, I brought her to the nurse office-” He started 

“Peter, do not let her out of your sight I am almost at the school.” He said and quickly hung up.

It did not pass more than five minutes when Peter realized how much noise was coming out of the hallway and that's when Tony Stark entered the room with the same scientist he has seen before from the Avengers tower. They both moved quickly towards you, they were both saying different statistics and things Peter couldn't fully understand. Time seemed to pass slowly and you were in the same state.

“Marc put the injection and get ready to transfer her” Tony order the scientist as he turned to Peter “Thank you kid, I will take it from here”

“Mr. Stark-” He started

“Peter, go back to class and I will update you once she's better” He assured

“Are you sure you don't need me? I can- “ His hands were shaking and didn’t know what to do, 

“Peter...” Tony took a deep breath “Alright, come with us, I will talk with the principal so you can be excused from school this time and I’ll call your Aunt, but you have to let us work, ok?” He talked in a more calm way as more poeple with black uniform came in and out you on a stretcher and took you to the specialized van they had arrived. 

“Thank you, and yes Sir.” He took a deep breath as he followed Tony Stark and all the students looked around and whisper or took video of the whole situation. He saw you leave in the van with the man who now Peter knew his name was Marc. Peter went in the car with with Tony Stark and Happy at the wheel. 

He realized that they weren’t taking you to a hospital but to the Avengers towers. Tony quickly went out of the car and went to a separate part of the building that Peter never saw before, there was a small waiting room where Tony instructed Peter to wait.

“Now Peter, I have to go in and make sure that everything is going well” He paused “Miss Potts is on her way and she will meet you here, she is going to be ok” He assured one more time before going in to the other room as he left Peter in the waiting room.  

The sound of heels took Peter out of the heartbreaking silence as he saw Pepper walking in. 

“Hey kid” She said and embraced him in a hug 

“I- I- don’t know what happened” He said trying really hard for his voice not to break “She was ok and it happened so fast-”

“It’s ok” Pepper reassured as she comforted Peter “She is in the best hands” They took a step back “In the meantime, how about we get something for all of us to eat? Tony will update me and we will see her soon” She smiled 

“Yeah...” Peter took one more look back to the doors hoping for you to be ok.  

[howlingheartdemigod]

if ur still taking prompts how about any of the m-9 realizing beau's dad was physically abusive and trying to comfort her abt it and/or Fighting her parents on it

thank you for this anon. 

i am very proud of the first ¾ths of this. and okay with the ending. it is long. and it is not happy.

I lack the ability to keep my ships out of shit as well so, light beauyasha. But very light. this is mostly a story about Beau.

TW for descriptions of abusive behaviors, gas lighting, abuse typical negative self talk, and mentions of alcohol 

title from milk and honey

the weakness to fall

Beau stumbled back into the house early Wednesday morning, wrist clutched to her body. she’d been steadfastly ignoring the pain for an hour and a half of the two hour drive, just focusing on getting away, getting back. The cold night air chased her into the front hall of their rental, all too small for the eight of them, but feeling like home nonetheless. She leaned against the wall buy the door, toeing off her shoes. she closed her eyes, taking careful breaths to stop of the tears that threatened to fall. She’s been biting them back since the argument with her father grew from their normal fight to the more nasty cutting bites. She forced ragged breaths to steady, pretending the tears on her face weren’t there.

“Beau?” Nott’s high reedy voice was unexpected, causing her to jump, causing the pain in her ribs to rear its ugly head from where her father had gotten in a good jab before twisting her arm up behind her.

Nott’s small thin form appeared from the darkness of the kitchen, a glass of amber liquid clutched in her hands. Beau didn’t even have the sense of mind to think about Nott’s promise of no drinking during the week. Nott blinked at her, her light brown eyes almost seeming to shine yellow in the flickering porch light. “I thought you’d gone home for the holiday. Are…” Beau felt Nott looking her up and down, gaze growing heavy with worry. She set the glass on the entryway table. “Are you alright?”

Beau took a breath and pushed herself away from the wall. “I’m okay, Nott.” her voice was rough, raw with the swallowed sobs. She didn’t want them to know. Didn’t want them to see her as weak. She’d hid it from them for over a year, she could keep it up.

Going home had been a mistake, but her mother had called repeatedly in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, talking about tradition and family and just how happy it would make her father. The guilt of not going home that summer, of instead taking a mission trip with Darion and her other Physical Therapy majors that had taken her to another continent, won out over all reason. So, while all her friends, the Mighty Nein, as they had dubbed themselves, prepared for friendsgiving, Beau packed to go home.

It was two days. She could make it through two days with her parents. She could come home Thursday night and fulfill her duty as a child and it would be fine.

Except, it wasn’t. Except a year of not facing her father had left her careless. She’d started to forget rules, started to become comfortable with herself. She’d gotten in trouble within an hour of being home. The longer she spent there the more tense she felt. The more bullshit he hurled her way the more she wanted to snap back at him.

As soon as she did, she felt the familiar sting of his backhand, heard the familiar disappointed tutting of her mother. She didn’t let it stand this time. This time she swung back. He’d paid for years of martial arts training, and just because he couldn’t lower himself to show up to her tournaments doesn’t mean she won them any less. She got in three smart good jabs before his height and anger beat out her skill handedly. He twisted her arm, bruised her ribs, and bashed her lip, then pinned her face first to the wall.

“You insolent child!” He roared, trying to manhandle her towards the stairs, towards her room where he would certainly try and lock her away until Sunday night. “You don’t deserve the Lionette name.”

Beau had never been so thankful for Jester insisting she and Nott go with to the self defense course one of the sorority houses had put on. She swallowed, and ran through the way to break this sort of grip in her mind, then tried her best to execute it. Apparently, she hadn’t learned well enough. She ran out the door, of the house, and realized as she fumbled with her keys, that it was already swelling. She took off anyway, watching her father fume in the doorway as she backed down the drive as fast as she could.

“Beau,” Nott’s voice pulled her back to reality. Her gaze was stern. “You are not fine. Let me help.”

Beau almost ran, almost darted up the stairs and locked her door behind her. This could only be deceitful kindness. She could nearly feel her mother hands turn from soft and careful, applying bandages and ointments, to hard and cruel, digging into her bruises, telling her that this wouldn’t happen if she would just behave.

But this was not her mother. This was Nott, her friend. This was Nott, who’d never been unkind to her before. Who’d helped patch her up after drunken fights at frat parties, who’d held her hair back when she was puking her guts up, who helped her learn how to recognize her mistakes and apologize. Nott had never been unkind.

Beau slumped against the wall, defeated, and gave a nod. “Alright.” She relented, sliding down to sit on the floor.

Nott let out an audible sigh of relief, which only started up the guilt kicking in Beau’s gut. “I will be right back with the first aid kit.” Nott said, as she turned to scramble up the stairs.

Beau nodded, swallowing. She could let Nott help. Not understood secrets. She’d get Beau cleaned up and then they could pretend this hadn’t happened in the morning. It would all be fine. She wouldn’t have to let them all know what a wreck she was. How undeserving she was.

“Beau,” She hadn’t realized that she’d let her eyes drift shut until she opened them to see Nott, and behind her, another tall figure. Beau let out a groan of protest at the sight. “Oh, come on. I need help to get you to the kitchen. And Fjord was already awake.”

Beau Shut her eyes, and heard Fjord come closer. “Come along, now Beau.” He hooked an arm under her, shifting his grip when she hissed at the contact with her ribs, and hauled her up. This was the worst, this was horrible Fjord knowing was nightmarish/ She opened her eyes again, and limped along side him towards their brightly lit, light yellow kitchen. That stupid paint color was normally so comforting, but now it only seemed to magnify the light Nott had turned on, it only seemed to expose her more.  Fjord helped her into one of the mismatched chairs, as Nott flipped open their expansive first aid kit.

Fjord dropped to a knee next to her, trying to get a good look at her. She refused to meet his stare. “What the fuck happened…” He muttered, pushing to his feet, to go dig in the freezer for an ice pack.

“Ask her when she isn’t bleeding.” Nott replied, voice a little louder than Beau would have liked.

She closed her eyes again, wishing she’d slept in her car, or gone to Darion’s to crash, or… She didn’t know She just wished she hadn’t come home. Wished she could have kept them from worrying so much.

“Guys?” A familiar accent voice called from the door. Beau turned to see Jester, bleary eyed, dark hair half tied up and mussed, in the doorway. Guilt washed over Beau as she watched her state settle over Jester. “Oh, Beau, what on earth-”

“Ask when she isn’t a mess.” Nott said, caring and stern all at once. Beau was thankful for that, for Nott, and her unspoken understanding. “Jester, could you deal with her wrist while I get the blood off her face?”

Jester nodded, and moved quickly, her instantaneous switch to business mode reminding Beau firmly that she’s Pre-Med for a reason.

“This is unnecessary.” Beau complained. “I just need to take an ice bath and I will be fine.”

“You look like absolute hell, Beau.” Fjord said, handing her an ice pack. “Put that on your ribs and let us help you.”

Beau pressed her lips, trying to come up with another argument when they all heard the front door crash open, hitting the wall. There were muttered voices, like someone who is bad at being quiet trying to be quiet. Beau stiffened and curled into herself all at once, terror creeping through her. Of course he followed her. Nothing like the chance to show her friends that she was worthless. She ducked her head, muttered “No, no, no.” to herself.

Fjord moved quickly, holding up a hand to tell them all no to move. He peaked around the corner, and his defensive stance dropped. “It’s Yasha, with drunkass in tow.”

Molly’s voice rang clear as he walked towards the kitchen. “Of course it’s me, handsome, who else would it- Oh dear Gods.” Beau curled deeper into herself, head away from the door, not wanting hear whatever snarky thing about losing a fight Molly had to say. He didn’t get it, this was her fault. She didn’t want them all to see her like this. To her shock, she only heard him call, “Yasha, make sure the door is locked.” then the sound of his feet on the wood, heading deeper into the house.

“I always lock the door, Mollymauk.” Beau could hear the fond smile on her lips, and shuddered at the thought of that fading as soon a she saw Beau. She closed her eyes before Yasha reached the room, but heard the soft, shocked, “Beauregard,” regardless. Yasha drew near her side, where Fjord had been standing. Yasha’s fingers grazed the tender, bruised skin of Beau’s face.  “What happened?”

“I have to ask the same.” Caduceus’ low voice called from the door.

Molly had returned with him and tow. At Beau’s groan of annoyance, Molly shrugged. “Two pre-med students equal at least an intern, right?”

Caduceus joined them, sliding in as Nott ducked away, darting out of the room off to who knows where. He and Jester discussed her wrist, deciding that it wasn’t broken, just badly sprained, and the splint they had would be fine until they could get her to a proper clinic in the morning.

Yasha didn’t move away, just kept trailing her fingers over Beau’s face, avoiding the bruising and swelling. “What happened, Beau?” she asked, voice soft, calm, the clear blue before the sky started raging.

That’s what broke Beau, ultimately, caused the sobs to start up in her chest, which caused the pain to kick up, which only caused more tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” she rasped, leaning into Yasha’s touch, as someone moved around behind her. “If I was just, if I was just good this wouldn’t have happened. I don’t-” She gasped in a breath, looking through tears at Yasha, who seemed horrified of her. Gods she couldn’t even apologize right. She was worthless. “If I had just behaved then you wouldn’t all be up worrying about me, and, and if I could have behaved he wouldn’t have touched me, and this is all my stupid asshole self fucking everything up again.” Beau dissolved into sobs, leaning forward onto Yasha’s shoulder. There were several seconds where the only sound was Beau’s sobbing. Beau could only assume that they were sharing knowing looks, understanding how pathetic she truly was.

“Perhaps,” Caleb’s voice was soft from the door, and Beau shuddered to think of how much of her outburst he’d heard, that he too knew she wasn’t worthy of the kindness they showed her. “Perhaps, we should talk in the morning.”

There was a moment as that suggestion, really more of a warning it seemed, settled over them. They moved slowly, dispersing out of the room. Jester secured the brace on, then took Fjords hand and led him away. Caleb disappear into the darkness of the hall, Nott following once she’d dumped the drink she’d been awake for down the sink. Caduceus gave Beau a firm command to come talk to him first thing in the morning, then he retreated down towards his room. Yasha took a breath, and waved Molly over. Together, they helped Beau back to her room. Yasha lowered her onto the bed, as Molly checked that her window was locked.

Before Yasha could move away, Beau caught her wrist. “Stay.” she pleaded.

Yasha swallowed, the unspoken thing between them sparking with the force of her worry. Beau knew she didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve Yasha, but she wanted it. Gods did she want it.

Yasha nodded, her agreement washing over Beau in a wave of relief. Yasha went over to whisper something to Molly, who nodded, came over to press a kiss to Beau’s head, then disappeared, closing the door behind him. Yasha settled into bed with Beau, careful of her injuries.

Beau certainly didn’t sleep well that night, but she slept, and that alone was nearly a miracle.

Beau woke up with a warm weight on her chest. She cracked her eyes open in the pale light of the room, and saw Frumpkin curled up, right on top of her. She smiled, moving to pet him. The brace on her wrist, however, reminded her what had transpired the night before.

“Fuck.” she muttered. Beau looked over, finding the other half of her bed empty. “Fuck.”

Beau coaxed Frumpkin to her lap, then pulled herself upright, breathing through the pain in her side. She scratched the cat behind the ears, looking around the room. Someone had brought her bag up from her car, and set it by her desk. She dragged herself out of bed, and went to change out of her day old, slept in clothes. She knew a shower would really do wonders but as soon as she left that room she was certain it would be something of an interrogation, or maybe just a firm ‘move out.’ She always paid her share of the rent, but maybe they really did just keep her around because they thought she was strong. Maybe this was a tipping point.

Beau stared at herself in the tall mirror Jester had moved in there when she got a new more ornate one. She was a mess. She lifted her shirt and ran her fingers over the her side, blooming with red and purple. It was an ugly one, probably a broken rib, or at least fractured. It hadn’t felt that bad the night before, but sleeping on it without wrapping it had definitely aggravated it. She dropped her shirt, and looked to her face. Her lower lip was busted, on the left. Nothing much to do there but let it heal, maybe apply some ointment. She darted her tongue out, tasting the rust from it. At least he hadn’t cracked a tooth. That would have been hell to deal with. The bruise on her cheek was almost familiar, almost reassuring. She could see where his wedding band had hit, the slightly darker line among the red. It looked like the bruise she’d been sporting in her yearbook photo senior year of high school. She’d told everyone she wiped out on her skateboard. Her mother had told her she’d wiped out on her skate board. She’s insisted she’d wiped out on her skate board. She forced Beau to repeat it back, through tears. Beau had kind of started to believe it. 

Beau turned away, feeling dejected. Frumpkin had laid in the warm spot she’d vacated, and was staring at her with wide eyes. “Mrph,” he blinked, head tilting.

“Yeah, bud.” She replied, moving to scratch behind his ears. Frumpkin pushed into her hand, then jumped off the bed and headed towards the door. He waited patiently, looking back at her. Beau took a breath, nodding a little, realizing Caleb’s cat was right; she needed to face the music.

She cracked the door, and Frumpkin trotted out ahead of her. She padded softly, hearing the quiet murmuring of voices, and the sounds of cooking from the kitchen. She moved quietly, dragging her feet, listening.

“…saying we need to know the story.” Fjord was saying. “We need to know what she wants to do not just want we feel.”

“We can’t just let this go.” Yasha now. Beau would have felt bad for eavesdropping if they weren’t clearly talking about her. “I’m not going to let this go.”

“She’s not going to want to talk about it.” Caleb sounded tired, sounded like he hadn’t slept. “She has spent this long hiding it from us, probably from everyone, and… It messes up your head.”

“I am going to kill the bastard.”

“Yasha, as much as I’d love to, we don’t know for certain he did this, we might just be making assumptions.” Fjord replied.

“I think it was pretty clear, seeing as she’d gone home, been there for a few hours at most, and got back bloody and bruised. I don’t understand why we’re sitting here discussing this instead of burning the house down.”

“That isn’t our decision to make.” Caduceus now, sounding like his back was turned from the group.

Caleb spoke up again. “It takes a lot of, uh… a lot of time to get to a point where you can talk about it, especially if you’re alone in it.”

“She isn’t alone!” Jester replied, sounding haughty. “She has us.”

Molly cleared his throat before speaking, and Beau knew how he ran his hand through his obnoxious purple hair when he did that. “I think his point, love, is that she is has been alone.”

“Secrets isolate you.” Nott added.

“That’s true.” Fjord said. “I just wish we knew what to do.”

“How about we ask her?” Caduceus’ voice was accompanied by the soft sounds of a plate of food being set out. “Her door opened a few minutes ago. I’m sure she’ll be down soon.” Beau took a few quick steps back down the hallway, swallowing. She tiptoed backup a few steps, then took heavy stomps, making it clear that she was only just now coming down stairs and in fact had never been down stairs ever before in her life. It was stupid, but it made her feel better.

She ducked into the room, to all eyes on her, and nearly ran. “Hey.” she said, voice strained. “Uh, I think I may have a cracked rib. I need to first aid kit.”

“Oh, I put it back away, I’ll go get it.” Nott said, pushing to her feet.

“Thanks Nott.” Beau said, moving towards the sink. She wanted to grab a glass of water, but it was frustrating with the brace, and the tense silence in the room. She dropped the cup, clattering it into the sink. She jumped, gasping a little. “Sorry,” She muttered, almost on instinct.

“Beauregard.” Yasha had moved closer. She looked soft in the daylight, she looked worried. Beau swallowed, not looking at her. Yasha reached past her, grabbing the cup. She filled it, and pressed it into Beau’s good hand. “I think you should sit.”

Beau pressed her lips, head shaking a little. “I’m… I’m alright. I uh…” she stared down at the cup, turning a little towards the rest of the kitchen. She couldn’t bring herself to look at them. Couldn’t force herself. “I’m fine.” she said.

Before anyone could speak, Nott came back in the room, digging through the kit. Yasha put a hand on Beau’s back. “Please sit.” She said softly.

Beau swallowed, and relented. Jester came over, band-aids in hand. “Beau, can I wrap your ribs?” she asked. Beau nodded, and Jester dropped to a knee in front of her, making her lean forward to wrap around her middle. Yasha sat next to her, and the room fell silent again. Jester put the clips into place, and settled down on the ground. “Beau.” she said. “Will you tell us what happened?”

Beau bit her lip. “It doesn’t matter, It’s…”

“You matter to us, Beauregard.” Caleb replied softly from the other side of the table. She met his eye, seeing the deeply furrowed brow, the worry, the… she must have been projecting, but she could swear she could see understanding in his eyes. She looked from him to Molly next to him, to where Nott was settling down next to him. She was surrounded by her friends she realized, protected by them. Caduceus was by the stove, turning the burner off, Fjord leaning by the door, protecting her. She heard Caleb snap a little, and heard Frumpkin make a noise of reply. He muttered something in German, and Frumpkin trotted under the table over to her. She let out a little huff as the car jumped up on to her lap.

She swallowed. “I’m sorry.” she said again. “About last night. I’m sorry. I… I went home, and I picked back at my dad and he just… he just gets upset. If I didn’t upset him this wouldn’t have happened.”

“This isn’t your fault, Beau.” Yasha replied without hesitation.

Beau scrunched her nose, head shaking. “It’s… If I had behaved, I hadn’t spoken back, if I hadn’t hit back he wouldn’t have escalated things.”

“Your… Your father?” Jester asked from the floor. “Your father did this?”

Beau looked at her, guilt welling up. Jester had so much faith in the world. Her mom had always been so good to her. She’d always taught her to expect the best. Beau was ruining her. She forced herself to nod at Jesters question.

“Oh, Beau.” Nott’s voice rang out. “And your mother…”

Beau shrugged. “She, uh… I mean… She doesn’t fly off the handle like him. She… she isn’t… it’s… everyone’s parents are assholes, right, mine are just, worse than some.”

“No, Beau.” Fjord said. “That’s… when people complain about their parents it’s because they got in an argument about curfew, or about like… I don’t know, over using their gas card.” He shook his head. “Not this.”

Beau looked around the room, scowling as she realize they were all making faces of agreement. She dropped her eyed back to the drink. “Oh.” She said.

“It’s okay, Beauregard.” Yasha said softly. “It’s not your fault.”

Jester put her hand on Beau’s knee, nodding.

Beau took a breath, trying to accept that new reality. She looked around the room, swallowing, then shrugged. “But, upsetting him, that, it was my fault, though-”

“Step one for you is going to include a lot of positive self talk.” Molly said. He’d taken to leaning his chin on Caleb’s shoulder, not quite meeting Beau’s eye. “And learning to keep from ever thinking that what they did to you is your fault.”

Caduceus brought a cup of tea over, trading the glass Beau was holding out for the warm ceramic. “We’ll help you on that.” He promised.

Beau felt almost dizzy, almost sick, but she looked around the room, and realized that if they were willing to go to all this trouble for her, to help her, then maybe, just maybe she did deserve it.

Beau remained on edge all of Wednesday, as they talked through things, moving from the kitchen to the couch, talking about options and if she wanted to go to the police, and when she could get in at the student mental health clinic. She kept expecting it all to fall apart. But the more they deconstructed it, the more they talked, the more she realized the way her family treated her was not normal. She realized it, but it was still hard to keep from pulling blame to herself. It had been drilled into her so long that it was just habit. Yasha never really left her side, Frumpkin wasn’t ever far from her either. (She really didn’t understand how Caleb had so effectively trained a cat. It almost seemed impossible.) They decided, late Wednesday night, to call it good, seeing as Beau hadn’t called herself an asshole or apologized in nearly an hour, and they’d finally remembered to eat. Jester hugged her as tight as she could without making her rib situation worse before she skipped up to bed. Fjord gave Beau a nod, smiling a little before he followed her. Caleb gave her a firm pat on the shoulder, that she returned. Molly, a kiss on the head. Nott hadn’t really strayed too far from Beau either that day, but she gave Beau’s hand a squeeze before heading off to her room. Caduceus took a breath, and promised her that things could only get better, before disappearing down the stairs.

Yasha stared at her from the corner of the couch. Beau stared back.

“Beauregard, I…” Yasha cleared her throat. “I have to be honest, I’ve never been this angry in my life. I want to drive out there and kill them for what they did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that.” Beau swallowed, feeling too many emotions to parse how she felt about that. Yasha dropped her eyes before continuing. “I just… I wanted to say that… I will never let anyone hurt you like that again as long as I’m in your life. And I plan to be in it for a long, long time.”

Beau swallowed, nodding a little. “I want you in for for a long, long time.” She replied.

Yasha looked back to her, and Beau could swear she saw a weight shift on her shoulders. She knew that Yasha had lost someone dear, though she didn’t know the details, and she hoped, she prayed, that she wouldn’t ever make that list longer.

Yasha pushed to her feet. “Let’s go rest.”

To Beau’s shock, Yasha joined Beau in her bed. To her amazement, she fell asleep so easily when Yasha was there. To her wonder, Yasha was still there when Beau woke up again.

Beau should have been expecting the loud insistent pounding on the door. It was after their thanksgiving dinner, where they (Molly, loudly) had mostly discussed the hypocrisy of early European settlers, and they were half way through Love, Actually. Jester had insisted, declaring that it was the only way to start off the Holiday season right. Beau had nearly forgotten about the pain in her side, and the brace on her wrist. She was tucked in to Yasha’s side, and Caleb was on her other side, and she felt safe. She felt good. And then there was a violent pounding at the door, and the sound of the doorknob being rattled, and she immediately felt that being taken away from her.

“Beauregard!” A voice roared from outside, and Beau could do nothing but freeze as Fjord scrambled for the remote. “Beauregard Lionette, I know you’re in there! That piece of shit car of yours is parked right out front! Answer this door immediately.”

“That’s it.” Molly muttered, pushing to his feet. Yasha was spurred to action at that, pulling away from Beau. She tried to cling to Yasha’s shirt, but she was too slow. She watched Jester push to her feet as well.

“Guys.” she said, voice a half broken whisper. “Guys, don’t…”

“Beau,” Caleb said, turning to face her as their friends stormed down the hall. “Unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you. That’s not a choice you get to make.”

With that, Beau was silence, shocked. It was a conversation they’d had freshman year, it was what she’d said to him when he was trying to hard to push them all away. His reply had been cutting, about how the trouble with friends is that you have to care about them, but all of the sudden she saw it, saw what he’d meant. She swallowed, head shaking, as he stood, putting himself between her and the door, arms folded.

She pushed to her feet shakily, moving to stand just behind Caleb, as Molly unlocked the door, backed by Yasha and Jester, Fjord and Nott a few feet back from them. Caduceus stood behind Beau, and patted her shoulder. “We’ve got you.” He promised, before taking a step back, his tall form creating a wall of security behind her. She reached a hand out and set it on Caleb’s shoulder, like he often did to her when the stress and panic got to be too much.

“Beauregard-” Her father’s voice cut off as Molly swung the door open, his other fist curled at his side.

“You have no right to be here, and should get off out property before we call the police.” Molly said, glaring.

Beau’s father returned the stare, sneering, in fact. “I don’t care much for what a fag college boy has to say. Where is Beauregard?”

Yasha seemed to grow a foot, rage bubbling up. “Don’t say her name.” She cautioned, voice a deadly sort of calm. “Don’t so much as think of trying to push past us or touch her, or you’ll be leaving with bruises much worse than hers.

Beau almost wished she’d been closer, been able to see her father recoil with fear more clearly. He looked at the assembled group, then past them. His eyes locked on her, and he raised a finger, a tiny gesture that felt like a threat. “You, you are a rotten beast. You run off with no warning, then don’t come home for dinner. This is a sacred holiday, Beauregard.”

Yasha stepped a little bit towards him, and Jester, arms folded, did the same. “We told you not to say her name.” Jester reminded.

He looked from Yasha to Jester, then back to Beauregard. “Come with me this instant. We are going home, and I will think, think of allowing you to return to your studies on Monday.”

“She isn’t going anywhere with you.” Molly said, sounding incredulous. “You think after what you did to her we’re going to let you come anywhere near her? No. In fact, I think it might be a good idea for you to turn tail and run.”

His eyes snapped to Molly, anger bubbling up. “You dare to speak to me like that-”

“Yes, I think you’ll find he does.” Fjord spoke up. He was leaning on a wall like a hero in a western. “See, we don’t tend to stand on manners when abusers are involved.”

Nott, Beau realized, was flipping a kitchen knife in the air. She hadn’t noticed her pocket it, but the threat in the action was clear.

Beau’s father swallowed. “Beauregard, I’m giving you one last chance to come home, then I’m cutting you off. No tuition, no allowance, no trust fund, no nothing.”

Beau scowled at him. “Those-” Her voice broke. “The allowance I’ve refused since I was ten, you mean? The trust fund you already changed the name on so I only am allowed it if I take on the family business?” She felt like a coward, shouting retorts from down the hall, but it was better than nothing, she figured, or at least it was a first step to feeling brave again.

“I think you’ll find she’ll be fine when it comes to tuition.” Jester replied. “She’ll be just fine without you and your bullshit.”

Beau swallowed, feeling like she was about to fall apart.

“In case you aren’t getting the point,” Caduceus called from behind her. “You aren’t welcome here.”

“It is time for you to go. Now.” Caleb added. She saw his head tilt forward, and saw fear settle into her father eyes. She didn’t know what he was seeing, but she knew she never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look. “And if you ever dare to come back here, or reach out to her in any way without her reaching you first, you’ll find that all your anger and brutality, it is nothing compared to what we will do for our friend.”

Beau watched her father tremble. She saw how small he looked. Molly was a good inch taller than him, Yasha a few more than that. He looked so weak. His eyes, the steely grey that had scared her so much for so much of her life, flicked to her. He swallowed, seeing the hardness in her face, seeing how every line of her body, even in her terror, was giving him no room for leeway. Then he turned tail and ran.

Molly waited until he saw the taillights turn the corner down the street to close the door. Beau waited until he’d locked the deadbolt, and slid the chain into place to completely fall apart.

Beau cried, feeling like that’s all she could manage anymore. But even as she did she was surrounded by her friends, her family, and she realized, all at once, that it would be okay.

[hiyadarlingirl]

EVERGREEN LOVE, part 7

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 , part 8, part 9

Summary; Roger is with a girl and you decide to get home on your own, but Rog has other plans. He later calls you on the phone for advice. Feelings all over the place.

Warnings; Angst, swearing, hints of sexual intercourse

Wordcount; 2,1k

Thanks for reading y’all! This part is a bit angsty but hang in there, loaaads of fluff ahead! And adventures with the whole gang, (also with Fred!) And smutt of course. Stay tuned! 

‘Come on Ally, let’s go.’ You said while grabbing your things. You didn’t feel like waiting for Roger and neither did you feel like going up to him and Christina to ask him to bring you home. Not only would it be awkward for you to interrupt whatever the hell they were doing, you also didn’t want to feel like you were his little sister, not capable of handling things on her own. It was already dark and about 10 in the evening so it was probably better to just go now.

‘Shall we give you a ride?’ Brian proposed, noticing you had a problem getting home without your lift.

‘We’ll take a cab, but thanks Brian.’ You smiled at him.

‘Sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble.’

‘We’ll manage. You guys enjoy your night, you deserve it.’  You gave him a quick hug and waved at Tim before leaving the room, Ally following closely behind.

You walked through the space that was still noisy from people chatting and drinking, avoiding Roger and went outside looking for a payphone.

‘Well that escalated quickly.’ Ally said while you crossed the road.

‘What did.’

‘Well… Roger and that girl..’

‘Oh you saw that too?’ You hadn’t noticed Ally standing behind you when you were looking at him.

‘Yeah, yea I did.’

‘Hm-hm, well good for him.’ You said looking around, not in the mood to talk about it. ‘Where are those bloody phones?’ You tried changing the subject. You were moody and tired. You walked down the road but it was dark and there were no streetlights.

‘I’m not sure. Do you know what number to call anyway?’

‘Fuck.’

‘You don’t.’ Ally stated.

‘No, do you?’

‘No.’

‘Shit.’ You sighed. ‘Okay let’s go back inside and ask the boys.’ You turned around and crossed the road again, walking fast because of the cold.

When you were inside you walked to the back to find Brian so you could ask him for the payphones and a phone number but you ran into Roger instead. He was walking towards you, alone and looking very exhausted. What on earth did that girl do to him, you wondered.

‘Hey, where were ya, I saw you walk out and I was looking for you.’ He asked, a bit out of breath.

‘We’re gonna take a cab.’

‘No.’

You laughed surprised. ‘What? Why not.’

‘You came here with me so I should bring you back too.’

‘Don’t you want to stay with your girl?’ You asked.

‘She had to go.’ He said curtly, almost irritated. You pulled up your eyebrows. What was up with him. ‘Now wait here, I’m gonna grab my keys.’ His voice sounded weird. You wondered what had happened. Why wasn’t he happy?

‘Owkay.’ You assented but it sounded more like a question. You were slightly confused and put your hands in your pockets. What had Christina said? You asked yourself. Maybe she had rejected him? But that didn’t make any sense as she was the one kissing him. Maybe he was a bad kisser then? Like, extremely bad?

For some reason you had to suppress a chuckle thinking he was bad at that, as he would probably think of himself as some kind of Greek kissing god. He probably wasn’t bad at it though, looking at him and knowing him. Maybe she was disappointing then? People were so confusing.

‘Okay, let’s go.’ He said while putting on his jacket and walking past you.

In the car you put on the radio. The song Something from the Beatles came softly through the speakers.

‘So…. What was she like?’ You tried sounding unbothered and cheerful. You really tried to be happy for him.

He kept his gaze focused on the road. ‘Yea she’s hot.’

‘And…?’

‘And?’

‘You like her?’

‘Yeah she’s great.’ You waited for more but he didn’t explain further.

‘That’s it? She’s great?’

He looked at you for a second before returning back focusing on the road.

‘Yea, why you wanna know all this.’ He asked while making a left turn.

‘Because I’m being your friend and showing interest?’ You said and saw the corner of his mouth curl up a little. ‘Okay.’

‘I thought she was like, your dream girl.’ You continued.

He sighed. ‘I never said that. But, yes I am going to take her out this Thursday.’

‘Where to?’

‘I don’t know yet Y/N.’

Him using your full name sounded so serious so you decided to just drop it. Whatever had happened between those too, it had made him awfully moody.

You looked into the rearview mirror and saw Ally had closed her eyes, either asleep or pretending to be. Then you looked at the clock above the speedometer. It was 11:14. Roger saw you looking and gave you a smile. ´We´re almost there.´ You nodded and turned around in your seat to wake her up.

When you arrived at your apartment  Roger pulled up in the driveway. You bent over to him and gave him a light kiss on his cheek. ‘Good luck Thursday.’ You said.

‘Thankyou.’ He gave you a quick nod and it was such a formal gesture you wanted to ask him what was wrong. But he seemed so far away so you just put your hand on his arm and said ‘You were really wonderful Rog, sleep well.’

‘You too love.’

And with that you stepped out of the car, followed by a sleepy Ally.

  Earlier that same evening.

 Roger was leaning with his back against the bar when she bent over and kissed him. She smelled very strongly like coconut and it had made him a little nauseous but her lips were soft and her body that was hurled against his was steady and warm. He had thought about this moment a lot, a year ago or so but it wasn’t half as passionate as he had imagined it to be. It wasn’t her though. She was definitely willing. He could feel her small hands all over his body and her tongue was in his mouth. He had to pull back for a bit to get some air when he heard the backdoor open and close.

That’s when he saw you walking out towards the exit, a whirlwind of floral fabric. He wanted to call out to you but you walked fast and it was still boisterous from the people lingering in the space.

He told Christina he had to go and he would pick her up Thursday evening to take her out. She had kissed him goodnight and so he went out to look for you.

He couldn’t find you outside as it was still crowded and went back in, thinking maybe you had forgotten something.

In the back he found Brian and some other people and asked for you.

‘She’s already gone you arse.’ Brian shook his head but smiled nonetheless.

‘Where to, she came with me.’

‘She’s taking a cab, shouldn’t have made her wait that long.’

‘It wasn’t that long, honestly, and she didn’t mind.’  

‘Well go look for her then.’

 When he found you he was determined to not let you go into the night this late and brought you and Ally safely home. You had seemed entirely unbothered by the whole Christina thing, and though he wasn’t surprised, he had still hoped you would’ve been at least a little jealous. You didn’t have a possessive nature, and he was happy so, but still he secretly hoped you would be a little protective towards him.

 He knew you incredibly well, but he got your defensive mechanisms completely wrong. 

-----------------------------

It was Wednesday evening, two days after the gig and you were in your bedroom painting your toenails when the phone rang.

‘Hi.’

‘Hi, who is this?’

‘Roger.’ You closed the nail polish bottle and sat up straight. He never called.

‘Hey Rog, what’s up.’

‘What are you doing right now?’

‘Painting my toenails.’

‘What color?’

You smiled, only Roger would ask such unimportant questions. ‘Cornflower blue.’ You answered.

‘Oh that’s really great.’

You chuckled. ‘Why are you calling Rog.’

‘Uhmm, well tomorrow I am going on this date you know.’

‘Yes of course.’  

‘Well I was thinking if maybe I could get your advice? You know, you being a girl and all.’ You pulled up your eyebrows, realizing he couldn’t see that. ‘Yes, I’m a girl, glad you finally noticed.’ You joked. ‘What do you want to know.’

‘Well I was thinking about taking her to this drive-in cinema, what do ya think?

‘Yes that sounds like a good idea.’

‘Well I was wondering if I should take like, food and blankets and stuff?’ These were really general and nonsensical questions, you thought. ‘Yeah sure.’

‘And should I wear like cologne or do girls not like that.’ This conversation was getting weirder and weirder.

‘Uhm, maybe a little, but you smell nice on you own Rog.’

‘Ow. I do?’ You could practically see him smirking on the other side of the line.

‘If alcohol and cigarettes are your thing than yeah.’

‘Fuck you.’ He said. You laughed. ‘Hey I don’t mind, just don’t forget to take a shower.’

‘Hm-hm.’ He seemed distracted.

‘It’ll be alright Rog, no need to be nervous.’ You said. ‘Any more questions?’

‘Not really… unless you have some further notes for a proper date.’

‘Be on time.’

You heard him sighing. ‘I won’t be late. Anything else?’

You thought about it for a second. ‘Don’t go home with another girl?’ You tried, referring to a rumor that circulated around him about that one time he had gone out with one girl and ended up sleeping with a different one.

It stayed silent for a while on the other side of the line. You had meant it as a joke as it was his own doing after all, but when he finally spoke you could hear the hurt in his voice.

‘You think I am going to be the most horrible boyfriend ever, don’t you.’ He spoke softly.

‘No, no I didn’t mean it like that.’ You said, wishing you hadn’t said it. Truthfully you thought he would be a great boyfriend, once he would ever let himself fall in love. But you didn’t say that.

‘What did you mean then.’

‘Just be yourself Rog, treat her like you would treat me and you’ll be fine.’ Honestly you were really done with this subject.

‘Alright, I could do that.’

‘Good.’

‘Thanks for the advice Y/N.’

‘Anytime Rog.’

‘Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’

  Thursday night Roger picked up Christina, only three minutes over time. In the back he had a thick red blanket, some homemade sandwiches and cookies in a paper bag. He drove to the drive-in while she talked about university and music and he decided she was actually a really nice girl. She was from Northampton and had five sisters, her being the only one of the six who was studying in London. He just let her talk and tried to genuinely listen to what she was saying.

When he found a spot in the back of the drive-in he pulled up and took the blanket and the food from the backseat. Christina snuggled against him, her face on his chest. Like that they watched the movie. It was a stupid movie Roger thought, and he consistently had to fight the urge to yawn. She noticed he was bored and started kissing him. First his neck and jaw and then his lips. He kissed her back, all from muscle memory. He knew how to be with girls, it was something that just came naturally to him, like playing the drums or driving.

When the movie finished she started undressing herself and began placing kisses all over his body. He didn’t stop her, enjoying the warmth of a female body, but couldn’t understand why he wished to be with someone else instead.

 He made love to her that night.

 When someone would ask him about it later, he would say it was a good one and she really got it on with him. But there were also things he would keep to himself.

 Like the fact that when he was inside her, not her name but yours had come softly slipping from his lips.

 TO BE CONTINUED!

Next part

Taglist 

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[hopefullylovelyxx]

Ça te rend belle.

Part two

Authors Note:

I spent a lot of time on this one to make sure it was perfect. I’m thinking I’ll post a new part every Saturday from here on out. So check in every weekend. I’ll also make a masterlist now that I’m getting into having multiple parts of the story. I hope you like it.

. . . . . .

Wednesday August 15, 2018 (same day as pt.1)

After having to make copies of worksheets, file papers, and get things ready for her own class period, Y/N finally gets to rest at lunch. She goes to the teachers lounge and doesn’t know who to sit with as everyone is in their own cliques of teachers. She decides to sit at the table full of teachers who appear to be younger than all the others. She smiles warmly at them and says “Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m the new French student teacher. May I join you?” She made sure to say ‘may’ instead of ‘can’ just in case any of them were English teachers, she didn’t want to start on a bad foot.

They all nod and smile then begin to introduce themselves. The first woman with amazing long dark hair and perfect skin Y/N wishes she could possess holds her hand out for her to shake and says “I’m Natalia, I’m the drama teacher.” She shakes it followed by a “nice to meet you.” The next is a woman with a blonde bob Y/N wishes she could pull off. She shakes her hand and says “I’m Jasmine. I teach 12th grade English.” With a nod and another “nice to meet you” Y/N turns to the next person. A guy who seems to be writing a rather lengthy text only to delete it all and look up at Y/N, “Sorry, my girlfriend thinks I’m cheating again...you probably didn’t need to know that. M’a names Liam. I‘m a p.e. coach. Not that interesting.” He shakes her hand and proceeds to type another message.

Jasmine playfully smacks him and says “Don’t be rude Liam! I’m sorry about him. His girlfriend does this like 4 times a month.” He frowns and says “hey! Not true...it was only 3 times last month.” Natalia chuckles and Jasmine rolls her eyes and says “This is what I deal with on a regular basis.” Y/N chuckles and almost forgets about her food. The rest of lunch Y/N learns about her new temporary “co-workers”.

After lunch, Y/N still has one more period of nothing to do before she gets to meet her 6th period class. She decides to take notes on Mrs. Meyers’ teaching style but 10 minutes in realized she is not the best teacher to get teaching tips from. The woman spends half the period complaining about school starting too early then the other half complaining about students wasting class time. Right as the bell rings signaling the end of 5th period, Mrs. Meyers gathers her belongings and gives Y/N one last look and says “Good luck. The seniors are the hardest to control. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” She then goes out the door and once again Y/N is confused as to why she would say that to someone especially after they expressed their concerns about seniors not taking them seriously. She takes a deep breath and goes to the front of the classroom feeling more nervous than she did at the beginning of first period.

Students start coming in conversing with one another and don’t look twice at Y/N. They see her and smile then go back to their conversations. Once the second bell sounds she expects to have to raise her voice a bit to get them to stop talking but instead most of them stop their conversations immediately. She smiles thinking maybe this won’t be so bad after all. “Bonjour, je m’appelle Ms. Y/N. Je suis étudiant à UCLA. Je désire être une prof de française alors je serai votre professeur ce semestre parce-que je suis seulement un enseignant stagiaire.” Everyone in the classroom looks at her just as amazed as the beginners French students did. A boy in the back row raises his hand so she says “oui?” He says “We have no idea what you just said.” Everyone nods in agreement and a girl towards the middle says “Mrs. Meyers never taught us anything. She just yelled and complained about how she would rather be at home sleeping.” Y/N laughs and says “big mood.” She thinks to herself but when the entire class joins in laughing and adds “I know right!”s, Y/N feels warmth in her cheeks from them hearing her and also feels content in knowing that she made them laugh.

After she reexplains everything in English she takes attendance and then decides against her lesson plans considering they don’t fully know the French language and instead goes back to basics. During the lesson she keeps note that Kyle is quite the class clown, Julia is the friendly talkative type, Cara stares at Scotty but he stares at Elijah, Quinn looks at the clock every 5 minutes, and Y/N could go on and on. Once she has something distinguishable about each student and finishes reviewing basic French conjugation, she calls it a day and they all have a conversation as a class.

They ask her how to say different words or phrases in French and make jokes along the way. In a weird way Y/N feels like she’s talking to friends rather than students. Perhaps it’s the somewhat miniature age gap or maybe she just really feels connected with the students.

Kyle gasps loud enough to be heard 5 classrooms down and it startles everyone. He then says “She’s like the girl version of Mr. Styles but less fancy!” Nearly everyone’s eyes widen and express their agreement. Then they start pin pointing differences and Y/N doesn’t know if she should be offended at some or grateful for others. “Him but funnier” “Him but more laid back” “Him but not that stylish” “Him but not like him at all” Y/N is very confused and intrigued by who this Mr.Styles is. She cuts off the comparisons and asks “Who is Mr. Styles?” They all look at her like she’s a ghost. She’s met with various questions along the lines of “how do you not know who he is?” Julia shushes everyone to answer her question and says “He’s the AP Literature teacher.” They all say various forms of “You should get to know him”, “Go out with him”, or “Slide in his DM’s”. She laughs slightly at their eagerness and it just ignites a little flame in her stomach. Maybe she will talk to him just to see what all the fuss is about.

The walk to her car that afternoon is audibly silent but the amount of noise in her head is overwhelming. So much so that she attempts to unlock her car by pressing the the home button of her phone instead of the actual button on her car keys. As she starts her car she immediately shakes away all the overwhelming thoughts of what her new students and colleagues think of her. The one thing that she can’t seem to stop thinking about though is who Mr.Styles is. She thinks back to the day and tries remembering every male teacher she saw. However, no one seems to be matching the few details she managed to gather from when the students were talking about him. She recalls hearing, “curly brown hair”, “a jawline that gives you a paper cut just by looking at it” - definitely the most amusing detail of them all, and “he has more tattoos than my uncle and he’s a tattoo artist”. She doesn’t realize how long she’s actually been thinking about him until she’s already pulling into the driveway of her apartment.

That night she spends a little extra time planning her outfit for the next day but it still probably looks like crap.

. . . . . .

Thursday August 16, 2018 7:30 am

The bell rings signaling the start of school and the announcements soon follow so Harry stands up and walks to the front of the class. Absentmindedly, he fidgets with his many rings and when the announcements come to an end he’s bombarded with multiple voices all speaking of a Ms. Y/N who he has no knowledge of. “One at a time, settle down. Kyle, go.” The young man smirks and says “Our French class has a new student teacher and she’s really funny and hot and has a nice round a-“ Harry cuts him off and says “Julia, go.” Kyle quickly says “I was gonna say personality!” Harry lifts an eyebrow at him and says “Last time I checked personality didn’t start with the letter A and it wasn’t circular. Julia, proceed.” She gleams and says “She’s just like you but a girl and has a horrible fashion sense, isn’t British, and speaks better French than you.” Harry has a hard time imaging an individual quite like that. He furrows his eyebrows and says “So you’re all going wild over the fact that me and a new teacher are similar but also completely different?” They all nod in confirmation and Harry is just as confused as they are during a lesson. Another student raises their hand and says “You should talk to her sometime.” Nearly the entire class erupts in agreement, some students he doubts are even in French. Why on earth did they want him to meet with this teacher so much? Harry rarely even speaks to his fellow English department when they have meetings, let alone teachers of other subject fields. He quickly pushes all his thoughts to the side and begins his lesson.

. . . . . .

It’s been nearly 2 weeks since Y/N and Harry were made aware of each other; yet they still haven’t met. Y/N considered “randomly” bumping into him in the halls or perhaps dropping into his classroom and asking if he knew of any good French literature but ultimately decided against it. She only has a short amount of time to practice teaching and help her students as much as she possibly can, it’d be irresponsible and unfair to just shift all her time onto a guy instead of them. Harry on the other hand, just simply feels uncomfortable with the whole idea of talking to someone purposefully and expecting something to come out of that. Why force a situation? Let it happen naturally. But their students have other plans for them...

. . . . . .

Tuesday September 4, 2018 5:15 am

Y/N wakes but not to the sound of her alarm, rather the sound of knocking on the door to her apartment. She immediately sits up and quickly fixes her hair and checks her phone for the time. She groans realizing she could’ve had 15 more minutes of partying with Justin Timberlake on a yacht in the Bahamas. She goes to her front door and sees her neighbor Jamie who she’s only ever had 2 conversations with which makes it even more of a surprise. “Sorry if I woke you or anything, I know it’s early.” Y/N shakes her head and says “it’s fine. What did you need?” the neighbor only a few years older than Y/N replies “I was about to leave for work and when I was getting in my car I noticed all your tires were flat so I figured I’d tell you now so it wouldn’t be a surprise later.” Y/N is taken aback and says “Really? Well thank you for telling me. That was kind of you.” She smiles and says “no problem. Have a good day.” then leaves.

Y/N gets ready for the day as usual and tries getting an Uber. Before she leaves, she goes to grab her lanyard that possesses her teacher I.D. and the key to her classroom from her bag from yesterday but can’t seems to find it. She empties the bag and still can’t find it. She gets an alert from the Uber driver saying he’s arrived so she quickly rummages through her entire apartment wondering where on Earth she could’ve misplaced them. She can’t seem to find them anywhere so she just rushes to the car and has no time for her daily Americano from Starbucks to give her an extra kick.

5:30 am

Harry wakes up to his alarm blaring and quickly silences it. He runs a hand through his hair and debates wether or not he should give himself an extra 15 minutes but decides against it. He takes a warm shower and feels extra sleepy this morning so he quickly speeds up his conditioning and gets dressed to allow for more time to grab a quick tea this morning. Today he settles on a white shirt, pink velvet flared pants, and black vans. He grabs his brown leather bag and goes out the door.

On his way to the Starbucks that’s just a little down the road he notices his favorite café is open. Have they always been open this early before? Harry doesn’t give it a second thought and pulls into the parking lot. He goes inside and the barista looks at him then down at the counter and says “Morning Mr. Styles.” Harry looks at the young worker again and smiles “Simon? I didn’t know you work here.” He nods and says “yeah, college is just as expensive as everyone complains about.” Harry chuckles a little at his former student and orders. As he prepares Harry’s tea, Simon says, “How’s my sister doing in your class?” Harry thinks for a moment and says “Julia is doing alright. She’s good at pinpointing themes but can’t seem to decipher most symbolism.” Simon responds with, “You can say I was a better student than her, it’s fine.” He hands harry his tea and another drink. Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion and says “I only ordered the one tea.” Simon simply says “Take the Americano as a thank you for not failing me in your class.” They share a small chuckle and harry leaves, both drinks in his hands.

When Harry gets to the school his usual parking spot before some car started parking in it is available so he pulls into it. He grabs his leather shoulder bag and two drinks and heads into the school.

Once he reaches his classroom he puts both drinks down on the ground and goes to grab his lanyard with his classroom key on it but when it’s not in its usual spot he starts looking through his entire bag but still can’t seem to find it. Finally he gives up and picks up both drinks to try and find a janitor to open the door for him.

While walking to the janitors room he sees another individual frantically roaming the hall obviously having no clue where on earth she’s going while getting frustrated and to harry it’s quite...attractive? “Where in hell?” She looks down at a paper and one of the room numbers in confusion. Harry goes up to her and says “Lookin for something?” She turns to look at him and nods, “uh yeah. I um...I’m looking for the janitor. I’m missing the keys to my classroom. I’m just a student teacher and the actual teacher doesn’t come in until second period but I teach first so I really need to get in.” Harry immediately makes the connection that this must be the famous Ms. Y/N and nods in understanding and says “Lost my keys too actually. But uh, you’re no where near the janitors room love.” Y/N blushes at the pet name but it disappears when she tells herself it’s just a term of endearment British people use for everyone. Harry looks over at the map in her hand, smiles a bit at her mistake and says “This is room 901. Janitors room is 106. You had it upside down.” Y/N immediately feels all the blood rush to her face and harry is smiling completely smitten over her priceless expression. She laughs a little and says “I was wondering why the other numbers looked a little off.” They both giggle slightly and he says “I’m Mr. Styles but to you I’m just Harry.” She smiles and says “Hi just Harry I’m Y/N.” He laughs a little too hard at her dad joke and says “Well, Y/N can I interest you in an Americano? M’not a big coffee person but i-“ “Yes please! Sorry, I just had a stressful morning and couldn’t get it on my way here.” Harry gives it to her and says “No problem. Let’s go find the janitor together yeah?” She nods slightly biting her lip and Harry regrets not talking to her sooner.

. . . . . .

Thank you. xx

[nightglider124]

Japan: My Trip

Thought I’d put together a little photo diary of my two weeks in Japan because why not and I just like to share with my tumblr pals.

Read on to find out what I got up to.

Sunday 13th May

This was the day I flew out to Japan. I packed my bag and was ready to leave at 11am UK time. I’m not gonna lie to ya’ll, I was an emotional mess, leaving my family behind. 

You should know, I’ve never been on a trip without my family and I’ve never been out of Europe. So, going out to Japan with just my best friend was a big thing for me. So, was pretty tearful and then my mum like burst into tears; she’s a worrier. 

Anyway, my dad dropped me off at the airport to meet my bestie and we did all the boring airport stuff and soon enough, we were on the plane. The sky is ridiculously pretty at different times during an overnight flight or at least, a flight that crosses different time zones. 

Pretty uneventful. I mostly ate, slept and wrote chapter 1 of CTD: Bound. 

Monday 14th May

So, I arrived in Japan’s Narita airport at 11am.

Then I went up and grabbed my suitcase as well as going and grabbing my pocket wifi - Something that is tremendously helpful if you go to Japan. I don’t know what it’s like for you guys but in London, I pretty much have wifi anywhere I go whereas in Japan, it wasn’t as easy to come across; at least not for free. 

The pocket wifi was a godsend. It can connect up to 10 devices and it lasts all day long when fully charged. Now, there were a couple times it tapped out but you just need to turn it off and turn it on again. 

It cost about £60 for 2 weeks but if you’re going with people, it works out better. Me and my friend split it so we only paid £30 each but very worth it.

But, yeah, defo recommend this for anyone who is going to Japan. It was a big help, especially when needing to look up locations and/or directions.

Next, we went and grabbed our Japan rail passes which look like so:

This was probably the best thing I bought for Japan. Not even joking. 

Even if you aren’t going very far, this thing helps so much. It’s a pass that allows you to use any trains that are owned by the JR company which is a fair amount that helps you get around Tokyo and surrounding districts. Note: You have to buy it before you fly to Japan and take the exchange form that comes in the post with you to Japan. You exchange it at the airport and they give you the passes above. Just make double sure your passport has been stamped because otherwise, they won’t let you have it. 

Anyway, this was £310 for 2 weeks but again: WORTH IT. It does depend on what you’re doing but me and my friend were out and using transport every single day. We also went far. We went to Hiroshima, Kyoto and Osaka - All covered by the passes. And for example, £310 is basically a return ticket to Kyoto so you are already making your money back. 

So, we picked these up and using them, hopped on the shinkansen (bullet train) to Shinjuku (Sound familiar, Titan fans? Yes, it’s the ‘roughest part of town’ according to Robin in the Trouble in Tokyo movie). It took about an hour and then we checked into our hotel which was: Shinjuku Prince Hotel.

It was a really nice hotel actually. The staff were friendly and spoke really good English. I recommend staying here; it’s right in the heart of busy Shinjuku and was only 5 mins from the station. We booked a deluxe twin room because two rooms worked out more expensive and it was not too shabby at all. I didn’t actually take any pictures so I snubbed some off google.

Anyway, we were running a little late and we had tickets to the Studio Ghibli museum so naturally, I was freaking out because the website expresses that they are strict on being on time for your slot. I nearly had a breakdown because... dunno if ya’ll remember but I had a right time trying to get a hold of these tickets. They sell out so quickly it is unreal. Anyway, our slot was 4pm and they only allow you to be 30 mins late. 

We arrived at 4:50pm and I was close to tears as I ran into the park it’s situated in. I was so annoyed and so scared they weren’t going to let us in. But...

They did!! The guy was so sweet; I think he could see by my face how much I wanted to go inside. He was like all smiley and was like it’s okay, go on in. I was like THANK YOU JESUS. Here are some photos:

They don’t allow photography inside to preserve the magic of visiting. And honestly, it was so nice inside. It felt just like a Ghibli movie and seeing the animation process and the short film and the original drawings... it was all so amazing. Being a Ghibli fan makes this 1000% better but it’s still great for people who aren’t as into it. My friend isn’t really into Ghibli movies but she thought it was still pretty cool whereas there was me in like awe over all of it.

Anyway, we stayed there about an hour and as you can imagine, we were frazzled af. We were tired from the flight but I wanted us to force ourselves to stay up so jet lag wasn’t as much a problem. 

After, we made our way back to Shinjuku where I took some pics from my hotel room:

Then we grabbed some McDonalds which was literally just across from us; something quick so we didn’t starve. I facetimed my family, showered and fell asleep.

Tuesday 15th May

So, the first full day we were there, it was a more chilled, sightseeing day. Nothing too taxing and we felt a lot more refreshed after a proper sleep.

First, we went and checked out the Tokyo Imperial Palace which was really pretty but we couldn’t go inside. It was mega hot the entire time we were in Japan; I thought I’d die. I hate the heat.

And because I was out in the heat all day and didn’t think to put suncream on... yeah, you can see where this is going... 

More on that later, because then we carried on to the Yasukuni shrine which is just down the street from the East Gardens of the palace. 

The shrine was cool and everything was so pretty; very tranquil and peaceful.

In the afternoon, we headed over to the Sunshine City mall in Ikebukuro where I forced my friend into the Pokemon Centre Store which was LIT.

I was fucking excited, ya’ll. I got some really cute stuff too. Got myself some Mimikyu chopsticks, an Eevee tail key holder, a Pikachu glasses case, a Pikachu makeup bag and a little Mimikyu figure bc Mimikyu is a fave and I have no cool stuff with it on. 

I also got my brother most of his souvenirs in here because we have loved Pokemon since the dawn of time. I mean, we’ve fallen out of it in recent years because all the new gen pokemon etc... we’re more for the original pokemon and original series and games. Seriously, when kids come up to me like, do you even know Pokemon I’m like bitch step back you don’t even KNOW. It’s like I got a Pokemon CD for my brother and it had a japanese version of one of the songs from the first movie and we were like screaming. That film man, don’t even look at me.

Ahem... the Pokemon store was so wicked but mega expensive like shit son. Glad I took so much money with me because I NEEDED IT.

After the Pokemon store, we went down a level to the Studio Ghibli store where I didn’t get as much stuff as I thought I was gonna. 

But, I got a Spirited Away fan with No Face on it, a Totoro and No face figure as well as a Totoro bib and hat for my niece. 

Then we went and had fooood where I noticed... I was extremely sunburnt... Like in the below pic, you can’t see it that much because it hadn’t really come out full pelt yet.

Pls ignore my hamster face but see my chest? Burny burny burnt burnt. I got back to the hotel later that night and I had the shakes where it was hot and all the heat was there rather than all over. It was horrible.

I’m lucky I decided to wear full on makeup that day otherwise my face would have gotten buuurnt. Well done, Estee Lauder foundation, well done.

But yeah, it wasn’t the best end to the day because then I was all uncomfortable and my skin was sensitive and I was mad at myself for not putting on cream so then I got all upset and cried but I think I was still tired from the journey too and I was overwhelmed but yeah; kinda sucked.

Other than the sunburn, I also didn’t pack shorts for under my dress so my thighs rubbed and were in agony as well as my vans gave me like 4 blisters on each foot so I couldn’t walk or at least was in extreme pain when I tried so getting back to the hotel was a damn hoot.

Besides all that, it was a pretty good day!

Wednesday 16th

This was the day we trekked all the way down to Hiroshima which is like a 5 hour journey by train. We had to take two trains but it was actually not too bad. It certainly didn’t feel like it took that long to get down to Hiroshima. 

One thing I will say about longer train journeys; remember to reserve a seat. Some like the one from Narita Airport are reserve only so you have to reserve a seat for it. But, others don’t need it and have “non reserved” cars but mark my words, if you’re travelling on these trains at a busy time, it really pays off to reserve a seat. We didn’t for Hiroshima and whilst we found seats for the 3 hour part of the journey; on the second train, we had to stand for like 45 minutes because there were no seats and then even when we did get to sit down, it was separated so yeah; book your train seats, people.

Once we arrived in Hiroshima, we hopped on a ferry which took us to Miyajima island. It’s about a 10 minute journey and once again, it’s covered by the JR pass. I loved that thing to death not even kidding.

Here’s some pictures I took on the ride over:

This island is home to the big red Torii gate that people may know of. I picked up some cute souvenirs and ate katsu. And there were even deer roaming around the place! A couple got married too whilst we were visiting and it was so nice. Again, it was mega hot so I was dying from that aspect but otherwise, I could live on this little island.

Unfortunately, we spent so much time at the island; we didn’t get round to doing the two other things we had planned which were seeing Hiroshima Castle and the Atomic dome memorial. I was kinda bummed by not seeing those but the last train was at 5pm and we weren’t staying the night so we had to get said train. It was okay though; it’s something to add to the list of things to see when I eventually revisit.

We got back at about 10pm and then it was lights out because we were exhausted.

Thursday 17th May

This was another sightseeing day that was fairly local considering we were pretty tired from Hiroshima still. 

We traveled over to Asakusa which has the lovely Senso-ji temple and shrine. It was really cute, the walk up to the temple is lined with all these little shops and souvenir like places which have charms and fans etc. Really nice.

Inside, they do this thing where you pay 100 yen and you shake a metal box that contains lots of sticks with numbers on. When you bring out a stick, you find the number it matches and you bring out the fortune. You get a good fortune, regular fortune or bad fortune. I got myself a regular ol’ fortune XD. 

But, they also have this rack so that if you get a bad fortune, you tie it to the rack to rid yourself of the bad fortune whereas a good or regular one; you would carry it with you.

Other than that, we hung out and then went back to our hotel for a while before heading out again to check out the nightlife of the area. Everything was mega lit up and was so nice. We went and grabbed dinner and also went and got crepes. They were a m a z i n g. Like they were so good ugh. 

After that, went back, showered and slept. Pretty uneventful day; just being touristy. 

Friday 18th May

Again, more sightseeing on this day. We went and saw the Tokyo Metropolitan Building and looked out over Tokyo.

Then, we went to the Meiji Shrine.

Aaand lastly, we went to Shibuya for the evening.

Yes, those are people dressed as characters from Mario Kart driving in the streets of Tokyo. This place was crazy. XD

After seeing the crossing scramble that is so infamous, we trekked back to the hotel and fell asleep.

Saturday 19th May

This day we literally went on trains all day to collect stamps. In Japan, they do these things called Eki stamps which are stamps you can find at stations, museums, shrines, tourist spots etc.

I haven’t got any pictures of mine but i got like 50 of them whilst I was in Japan. Going on one train line at all the stops got me like 30. 

We had nothing else planned on this day so my friend suggested the collecting stamps XD.

Sunday 20th May

This was one of my two absolute favourite days whilst I was there. It was the day I went and saw Mt Fuji and went into Aokigahara forest. 

It was approx 2 hours from Tokyo but we’d booked a tour instead of trying to do it ourselves. It worked out a lot easier. When we reached the highest point you can go to on Mt Fuji, by vehicle anyway, we had 30 mins to sightsee. We took pictures and went into the souvenir shop etc. 

My god, it was so frickin’ cold up there. Obviously. We were high off the ground like shit, it was freezing. But, pretty pictures.

We then went caving in an ice cave that is iced over all year round and is not usually open to the public. 

After that, we were taken back to Shinjuku where we grabbed food and went back to sleeeep.

Monday 21st May

We went to Kyoto on this day. We managed to see all we wanted to as well but then again, Kyoto was only a 2 and a bit hour train ride away.

When we got there, we saw the Fushimi Inari Taisha.

They were pretty but boy, was there a lot of people. I had to wait for so long to get pictures with none of very few people in it.

Then, we headed over to Kinkaku-ji which is this golden temple.

Again, very pretty.

Lastly, we checked out the Arashiyama Bamboo grove which was pretty also.

After that, we headed home to our hotel. We had an exciting day the next day.

Tuesday 22nd May

TOKYO DISNEYLAND, BITCHES.

I was excited and I can see why people hype Disneyland up. No matter which one you visit, there is this big sense of nostalgia and magic. It was unforgettable and wasn’t half as busy as some theme parks get here. But, I suppose we did go on a Tuesday.

Would hate to see it on a weekend.

The mike melonbread was delicious <3

Disneyland catered to the childish side of me and I loved every single bit of it. <3

Wednesday 23rd May

On this day, we visited Osaka which is about the same sorta time out from Tokyo as Kyoto is. Again, not too much going on. We checked out Osaka Castle.

And then, we checked out Dotonbori which was also very cool.

After that, we headed back to Tokyo. There wasn’t too much we were desperate to see in Osaka and it was raining which wasn’t the nicest.

Thursday 24th May

Last full day meant Harajuku and Shibuya for shopping day. I haven’t got any pictures but omg we went and did those purikura photo things? They are hilarious. It was funny doing them but even looking at them; they funny XD

I bought a bunch of stuff for myself as well as my family as souvenirs. It was funnn. 

Friday 25th May

The day I flew home to London :(. I was sad to leave Japan but I was really happy to be coming home. No matter how much you may call your country a shit place, there’s no place like home. 

Omg, I went over my bag weight limit with all the stuff I bought. I’m allowed 23kg and my suitcase was 27kg -.-

I paid £65 for that extra weight because I was not about to be that person who opens their suitcase in the middle of check in trying to decrease the weight XD

Pretty straight forward afterwards. I flew home and when I got to my house, my family let me have reign on dinner so we got KFC.

So, that is what I got up to in Japan. I loved every minute I was there. It is so very different than London and it has much more beauty than any city I’ve been to has.

I can’t wait to go back someday and I encourage anyone and everyone to go there. It is something else! <3

Thanks for reading if you made it to the end! I appreciate it ^.^

[palztothewalls-blog]

It’s the end and the beginning...

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.”

I’ve made it! Day 14 post op. Thank you for taking this journey along with me. I honestly could never have mustard the strength to do all of this on my own. Here’s a little update of the last few weeks.

Surgery went fairly predictable for being something that has really never been seen. They got to the tumor and it appeared small, until they started removing (decompressing) the bone surrounding it.

(To clear the air of confusion, my tumor from the get go was not going to be removed. It is located in my brain, right at the inner portion of where the ear canal essentially starts. The purpose of leaving the tumor was to provide me the esthetics of having a face with as much normal function as possible. If the tumor was removed, I would have experienced anywhere from 6 months to almost 2 years of severe paralysis that likely would only return to, at best, where I am today with function. So it stays.)

All of the bone was removed and the tumor grew substantially. So in all actuality, my tumor was larger than imaging showed because it was so compressed. When the bone was removed, the tumor expanded greatly in size. My doctor couldn’t give me an exact size but I will find out on my next scan in about six months, just how big it is. All in all, the surgery lasted somewhere between 4-6 hours? I’m not sure. It was a long time.

When I initially woke up, I was quizzed on the basic questions, who was I, where was I, what year, day, month, who was president, how old was I. Basically, I failed them all. Horribly. As you may have read from a previous post, I was a 27 year old unamed woman who had NO idea where she was but I’ll be damned if I got the president right. Obama. Giggles ensued with the staff as they ask again. I was so sure I was right. Shortly after my failed attempt at answering the questions, my family came in the room and I was getting the answers right…. back to ol Trump being the president haha!

So after that challenge, I experienced another, less funny problem. I remember screaming (okay repeating the beautiful word fuck at the top of my lungs) because I was in so much pain. My head hurt, sure, but my biggest complaint was my left shoulder. It was horrible and I was left with minimal function of it. My heart rate was 100-130s and my blood pressure was pretty elevated 150s/90s. Because of all of these complaints, the NP in the ICU had some concerns that I was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. She had some labs drawn on me, and shocker, they came back elevated. Triponin is a level that shows stress on the heart, and anything >0.12 is indicative of a heart attack. My first level was 0.11. Repeat a couple hours later was 0.12. By this time, it’s the morning after surgery. I had no idea by this time what was going on. The NP came in and told me all of this and said my EKG was normal and long story short, my elevated levels had nothing to do with my heart but was because of the prolonged and aggressive surgery. The levels returned back down to normal on the next draw.

Sometime in the night, about 12 hours after surgery, I had my 18 million IVs saline locked (okay 4), art line out, and foley cath out. I was tickled fucking pink because I was told this would likely be 24 hours after surgery. I was up allllll night walking to the restroom and back. My momma, bless her heart, was up all night with me. It was awesome…. for me to be up and moving. After the heart debacle, I got transferred to the neuro med surg floor and I accepted it as a challenge to get out in 24 hours. I was shot down when I saw the doc in the ICU about the idea of going home, go figure. So I walked my ass off literally all night. Sunday morning, doc came in, took off that horrid compression on my head and gave me the green light to go home. No more than 30 minutes later, 48 hours after surgery, my ass was in the car ready to go. I maaaaaaaay have already had everything packed at like 5 am knowing I was kicking ass haha.

So Sunday was awesome. Monday came. F my LIFE, Monday was hoooooooorrrrrrible. My shoulder pain was pretty much the devil, the pain in my head felt like I had the cast of Drumline in my brain, and I was exhausted. I some how made it through the day knowing Tuesday would be better. WROOOOOONG. It sucked just as bad. Maybe more. But then Wednesday came. And I’ll be darn, I felt alright. This whole time, my parents have been awesome in caring for me, making yummy meals and doing anything and everything to help me. God bless them.

Thursday came and I was ready to go home. From there, it’s only been downhill? Uphill? It’s been awesome. Each day I have felt better and better. My pain is essentially gone. My pre surgery symptoms have almost all disappeared. I no longer feel like I have a 20 pound mass in a 2 pound casing. My memory has finally returned to normal although there are a few things from pre surgery that I can’t remember were real or a dream. I still have pain, but the pain I have is from the trigeminal neuralgia, which is caused by nerve damage (in my case hector pushing on that nerve). I’ll likely always have this pain, but for me, only having this is totally doable.

So, the next step? Hopefully never having to go through this again. If symptoms return, I’ll do the big whammy of a surgery to remove hector and graft a nerve back in the spot. Fingers crossed that never happens!!!

So to finish out what I hope to be my last post about hector, I’m going to share a list I’ve been creating of things you never knew until you have a brain tumor… and surgery. It’s fun to see the progression I made as the list goes on Enjoy!!

Headaches all of the sudden seem scarier because you know they are a sign of a growth in you, of which you have no control over.

People look at you differently. Like long sweet eye gazing looks. Like I have super human powers, or I am so pretty that they can’t stop getting enough of my beauty.

Free stuff. People all of the sudden want to gift you with items, drinks, food. Listen, I am not complaining. This is the best!!

Unsolicited advice. It comes flying in. Try this or try that. Essential oils, rub them on your head. Eat all protein, the ketosis will shrink it. Exorcism. Plexus! Beeeaaacchhh body! Have you tried low carb? How about the spleen of a donkey? Drop it. It’s unsolicited and I don’t want it. Thanks though!

You cry a lot. I mean, I cried a lot prior to my diagnosis because everyone thought I was crazy. Now I cry because I have a flipping brain tumor.

Naming it helps. It really does. Hector is an a-hole. But his little 5 letter name has nothing on me. I’m badass… that’s 6 letters of strength.

Friends and family respond in weird ways. Some look at you like you’re still the same ol spunky ass you are, while others think you’re a delicate flowers, and then those who just can’t even be friends anymore. That’s cool. I don’t need you in my life either, I got this!

That silly cancer “this is my fight” song is all of the sudden totally applicable. Tears. Lots of them. I am a strong woman.

The reality of needing to shave part of your head becomes oh to real. Like my hair?! This?! I JUST grew it out!

“Well thank God it’s not…” “It could be worse.” Literally words you hear constantly but are in no way comforting. True, I’m not going to die tomorrow. BUT, I still have an abnormal growth of cells that, if untreated, will ultimately likely kill me due to pressure on my brainstem. So thank god for that!

Finally having an excuse to stay in. Before people thought I was just making up my fatigue. Now I have a $6000 image to prove why I have fatigue. I should sell that image for art!

It’s like you’re wearing a stamp on your head saying “tell me all your horrible friend/family medical issues.” I’m not sure why this is the case. I mean, it doesn’t help. Should it make me feel better? I’m not sure here.

Blogging is essential. While it means the WORLD to have the support, love, and prayers from everyone, it is extremely exhausting keeping everyone up to date. Blogs fix that. And I happen to love writing so it’s a double win.

Having that “one” friend is key. While people want to support you, they often can’t fulfill the need to your requirements. It’s because they haven’t gone through it. They don’t get it. That’s okay. Find that someone who does get it. They will be your best friend who really gets it. Traci is my gold.

All of your daily fears are gone. Instantly. While I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, it’s no longer on my mind daily. I just don’t care. Drama is stupid, always has been, but now I really don’t care.

MRIs suck. Bad. Open MRI? Not an option when it’s your brain. And it requires hours of imaging, all the time. I mean, I’m practically a walking nuclear power plant with all of the imaging I’ve had.

Speaking of MRIs. They are loud. Like 10 motorcycles sitting in this tiny little tube with you. And, the beautiful noice makes your insides shake in synchronized rhythm. Word of advice… don’t have one if you have an upset stomach. It’s bad.

You rarely get to wear your own clothes in the MRI. All metal must be out. Usually you get a fashionable moo moo that wraps around 10 times. Super comfy.

Let’s keep on the topic of MRIs. I legitimately feared I was going to be ripped out of this thing by a zombie. Apparently it’s a common fear to have. Who knew?!

You immediately get initiated into this little “special” group of people. I have met people from all over this country within a few weeks. It provides for great friendship and resources for doctors that may fit you well for your specific type of tumor.

Every day, you say to yourself “I have a brain tumor.” Every single day. Initially, it was every second of every day. It was literally all I could think. Now it’s maybe once or twice a day. A random thought about it, mostly just when someone else brings it up, and then move on with life.

It never gets easier to say though. I have a brain tumor. Nope. Never easier. Just starts to roll of the tongue easier lol.

I have a lot of anxiety, now a million times worse knowing what I know.

I really hate talking about Hector. A lot. It makes my anxiety escalate through the roof.

Appointments. The devil. Impending doom. What will the next step be? I certainly can’t sleep before them.

While speaking of appointments, one must paint their toenails before the neurology appointments. It NEVER FAILS, the nurse will say “take off your shoes and socks and the doctor will be right in.”

Then there’s brain surgery. You hope you get some superpower from it. Me? I wanted to come out speaking fluent French or Spanish. No such luck.

Brain surgery really is that bad, initially, but after a few days, life gets better and you start feeling like you again.

Remember that fear of shaving your head? It’s gone after you do it. Now you have a badass scar that provides endless amounts of strength.

I love my scar. It’s beautiful to me. I’m not ashamed, and you should never be ashamed of a battle fought hard, no matter if the scar is inside or outside.

All those appointments you had before surgery, you will still have them, and imaging all the time after. Will it ever stop? No.

Everyone compares their bad days to my bad days, and it helps them feel better. While I am happy my illness helps you have a better day, it doesn’t matter what the battle is, it’s you conquering and moving forward with life.

May you never forget that. Don’t ever compare your battles in life and try to belittle or expand the severity based on someone else’s life. This is your battle, your life. Fight on. Be strong. Have faith. There will come a day when you wake up after the battle is over and find that joy and peace you’ve been searching and asking for.

After 12 ½ years of battling and advocating, I sign off and pray I never have to return to this blog. Much love to you all and Hector, go to hell!

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt2

Word Count: 2069 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme

The ringing would not stop, and I reached over to my night table, smashing my hand around to stop it. And yet, it persisted. I finally opened one eye and saw my phone sliding around on the sleek finish of the dark wood, the screen lit up, the ringing getting louder. Served me right for picking a horrible ringtone that got more persistent the longer it was ignored. I slid my finger across the screen and brought it to my ear.

“Hello?” I croaked, my throat dry. I must have been sleeping on my back.

“I can’t run.” Erin’s tone was panicked.

“What?”

“I tried to go for a run this morning because of next week. And I can’t do it. My knee starts to hurt after about a hundred feet and there’s this weird pain in my hip and my chest hurts and there’s a weird pain in my side now and all I did was walk a mile.” She drew in a deep breath.

“Okay. The knee and hip are an issue. Your chest hurts because you’re out of shape. The weird pain is for the same reason.” I hoped my tone was soothing because my words sure weren’t.

“What do I do?” She wailed. I pulled the phone away from my ear, and yawned.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“Outside your door. I have been banging for at least five minutes,” she gasped. “Oh my god, are you banging? Am I interrupting you and Agent Coulson?”

“He’s not here. What time is it?” I sat up and stretched before padding into the bathroom.

“It’s noon. Did I wake you up?” She shrieked, and I could hear it through my front door.

“Okay, I am hanging up now. I have to pee. I’ll be there in a minute.” I ended the call and shut the bathroom door, in case she could hear me through the apparently paper thin walls of my building. I brushed my hair and teeth when I was done and stumbled to the door, yawning and scratching my butt. I pulled open the door mid-yawn, and held it wide.

“Wow. I can totally see what Coulson sees in you. That’s a fine ass-scratch you’ve got there.”

“You’ll understand next weekend. Coffee?” I offered and headed to the machine to make us some.

“What am I going to do about my knee?” Erin threw herself onto the loveseat in my living room. I brought out a mug to her and returned to the kitchen for mine before sitting on the couch.

“We’re going to find a real running store and see if there’s an issue with your feet. And then I’m going to text my physiotherapist and see if she can’t sneak you in this afternoon.” I inhaled the steamy aroma of my coffee before sipping.

“Your physio works Saturday?” She asked.

“Yeah, she caters to a lot of the Monday-Friday crowd so she takes Sunday and Monday off, and opens and closes late during the rest of the week.” I typed a quick message to the physio office and sent it.

“I feel like something terrible is going to happen at the academy,” Erin blurted.

“Nah, you’ll be fine. Just don’t try to sneak into the hot tub,” I reassured her. I finished my coffee and made the requisite noises when Erin paused in the narrative of what had happened while I was gone. I appreciated the debriefing, as it would put any emails and to do lists she left behind into context. When my coffee was finished, I excused myself to have a shower and get ready to go out. Erin was busy googling running stores. My phone chimed as I was toweling off, and I ignored it, assuming it was the physio office. It chimed again right away, and then again. I picked it up and checked the messages.

‘Should be back on Wednesday.’ It was Coulson.

‘Please buy a bottle of whiskey. It’s been a long 12 hours already.’ If a text message could convey a tone, I was getting it from that message.

‘I’ll bring a pizza. Any requests?’ I suspected he was hiding out from his team in order to text me.

‘Chicken, Feta, Peppers, Bacon,’ I typed back, and added a selfie in my towel. ‘Miss you.’

‘I’m now aiming for Tuesday,’ he responded. I got dressed quickly, and my phone chimed again, but this time it was the physio office saying they could get Erin in as soon as we got there.

“Erin, let’s go! Physio can do you now,” I called as I grabbed my car keys. Erin jumped off the couch.

Erin’s movements were smoother and her shoulders had dropped when she came out of the physio office. She was no longer favouring her right side and she wagged a piece of paper in front of me with a half smile. The gleam in her eyes was mercenary.

“If that’s a note to get out of running, I will scream.” I stood and followed her back to my car.

“No such luck. However, I need a better pair of shoes. She has a written list of recommendations for the salesperson, she recommended a store, and she gave me a list of exercises to do to help. And a note that should help me get these shoes covered by medical insurance.” She flopped back into her seat and sighed in contentment. The running store was in a small storefront in the ground level of an apartment complex. When we entered, a salesperson greeted us, but didn’t pounce. We looked around for a few minutes, and Erin pulled out the piece of paper. As though it was a cue, the same guy who’d greeted us came over and offered to help. Erin explained her situation, and he looked over the notes from the physiotherapist before heading to the back. He came out with five pairs of runners to try. Erin went to work trying them on.

“Is there anything you need, while we wait on your friend?” He asked.

“I don’t think so. I think the runners I have are okay. I get a little twinge in my ankle, but I’ve always got that from running,” I answered. He checked on Erin and helped her lace another pair of shoes.

“Can I look at your gait? That’s really common, and we might be able to correct it,” he offered.

“Uh, okay? When you’ve got Erin sorted,” I agreed. Erin was disappointed to find that the most comfortable pair of runners was not the electric green pair, but the black ones that had the tiniest little fuschia stripe on them. It was my turn. The sales guy directed me to a treadmill, and instructed me on what to do. I ran for a couple of minutes and then stopped, winded.

“I have a pair of shoes that may help. And Erin will be jealous because they come in bright yellow. From watching your gait, I think your ankle is lacking support, and you pronate a little too much,” he explained and then vanished to the back of the store. He returned with two pairs of shoes. When I had the first pair on, he made me run on the treadmill again. I was waiting for the pain to start, but it seemed the runners really did make a difference.

“Okay, I’m sold.” I stepped off the treadmill.

“So you can take the yellow ones, or we have them in blue,” he offered.

“Blue please.”

I was ready for food by the time we finished paying. Erin suggested we try a little restaurant down the street from the shoe store. It was an excellent idea, and the quiet atmosphere gave us plenty of time to plan the rest of our day.

Like I had the weekend before, Erin was ready to blow off steam in order to mentally ready herself for the week ahead. In deference to my new relationship status, I kept it subdued, but Erin was like a peacock, colourful, gorgeous and showy as hell. I felt positively drab beside her, and sent a sassy text to Coulson to make myself feel better.

‘Erin wants to get wrecked. Am I allowed to let other men buy me drinks?’ I keyed in.

‘You are lucky that I am not busy right now.’ Came the immediate response.

‘I’ll take that as a yes. Too bad you aren’t here to reap the benefits of someone else’s hard work,’ I replied.

‘Remind me why I like you?’

‘Epic rack. Rapier wit. Dazzling intellect.’ It was in order of importance, I thought.

‘Maybe I’ll try to be back for Monday.’

Erin chose our usual bar, and ordered us drinks while I put my phone away. It didn’t take long for her ready-to-party aura to attract a few interested men. I tried to put my all into flirting, but sadly, I couldn’t stop thinking about Coulson. Well, it would have been sad, but I was too busy thinking about the next time I got to tear his clothes off, to be honest. Nonetheless, I did flirt successfully enough to get a mild buzz, and Erin was definitely the star of the night, so she wasn’t complaining either.

I called her in the late morning to see how she was managing, and heard the phone answer, then crash to the floor, followed by a groan, some scratching and finally after a moment’s silence, her raspy whispering voice.

“Who is the guy with his arm across me?” She asked. I stifled a laugh.

“Well, when I left, it was Matt-from-last-week. Peek at him. Is it?” I jogged her memory. I could hear the sheets slide as she turned.

“Yes. It is. I should go,” she whispered.

“I’ll bring pizza at around six.” I figured fair was fair.

“Right. Oh god, I think he just woke up. Bye.” The line went dead and I was left chuckling to myself.

Promptly at six, I knocked on her apartment door, pizza and beer in hand. She pulled it open and looked fresh. There were no telltale bags under her eyes, no puffiness. Her colour was good and she didn’t turn green when she saw the pizza. It wasn’t really fair. When I tied one on like that, I usually looked like crap the next day. Hell, if I had more than two drinks, I usually looked like hell the next day.

“Matt is SHIELD,” Erin announced, snatching the pizza from my hands. I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. “It’s not funny, Annie.”

“No, it’s totally funny. So was Rick.” I brushed past her to the kitchen, and grabbed us plates before meeting her in the living room.

“Shut up."

“Yeah, I was mortified.”

“He doesn’t know I know. But he talks in his sleep. And he kept talking about something on the helicarrier, and Captain Rogers.” Erin had big hand gestures. Coupled with a slice of pizza, I was worried about my eye safety.

“He knows Captain America?” I wasn’t sure she understood me over the mouthful of food.

“He was talking in his sleep. I wasn’t about to press for details.”

“I hope you don’t have my luck. Rick was the fitness instructor at the academy,” I offered.

“Awkward.”

“Very,” I agreed.

“So you didn’t pull last night.” She changed the subject as she dug into another slice.

“I’m kinda seeing Coulson,” I shrugged.

“Jesus, what? I didn’t realize it was serious.” She was incredulous.

“It’s been a week. Not even really,” I stated. “I wouldn’t say serious. But I really like him.”

“Well, you always had the hots for him.” Erin took a pull from her beer. “So it’s not surprising.”

“Not always,” I protested. Erin quirked her eyebrow at me in disbelief.

“Yes, always.”

There was really no defending it because it was true. He hadn’t been my only work crush, but I didn’t think the people involved with the Avengers Initiative really counted as attainable. And Thor did have a girlfriend. We watched crappy reality TV for a while and finished the pizza, and then sorted through her three suitcases and got her down to one carry on bag for the week, at her request. When I was finished, I headed home to bed, nervous about a week on my own in the office. And about the harassment seminar. And Tony Stark.

[filosofablogger]

It’s that time again, time for a look at some of the good people who are out there doing good things for our world.  I think you will enjoy today’s selections … and here … you’re going to need these

Trenton Lewis is only 21-years-old, but this young man has one of the strongest work ethics I have ever seen.  Trenton is the father of an adorable 14-month-old daughter, Karmen, who serves as a powerful motivator.

Karmen Lewis

“My pride is strong. Whatever she needs, I’m the person who is supposed to provide it for her.”

Seven months ago, Trenton was offered a job at the local UPS center, 11 miles from his home.  Only one small problem … Trenton did not own a car, nor have access to one.  But do you think that stopped this young man?  Nope … he took that job, and has never missed a shift nor been late a single time for his 4:00 a.m. shift.  How?  He leaves at midnight to walk the 11 miles, that’s how!  For seven months, braving rain, wind and traffic, he has walked to work and never said a word to anyone, never once complained.

In my book, Trenton himself is a ‘good people’, but there’s more!  One of his co-workers, Patricia “Mama Pat” Bryant, found out that Trenton was walking to work every day.  She and her husband have both worked at the UPS center for nearly 40 years, and they are good people.

“For a young person to decide in their mind ‘if I don’t have a ride, if I can’t get a ride then I’ll walk.’ If a guy can do that, we can pitch in to help.”

The Bryants quietly spread the word, and every single employee they asked chipped in until soon they had collected enough money, $2,000, to buy Trenton a car!  Not a new car, mind you, but a 2006 Saturn Ion in good condition that will get him to work and back home to his baby girl. Kenneth Bryant said when he told the car’s seller what he was doing, he even dropped the price of the car.

They surprised Trenton a few days ago when they asked him to come to a union meeting out in the parking lot, and then after a few brief words by Bryant, they handed the keys to Trenton … his first car!  Trenton, needless to say, was overwhelmed and profoundly grateful!

“I wanted to be with my daughter, to be able to support her. I wanted to be a father. I’m never going to forget this ever.”

A whole lot of good people came together to help another good person … how much better can it get?

John Lee Cronin has Down’s Syndrome.  John Lee Cronin loves socks. John Lee Cronin is 21 years old and owns his own business … selling socks!

When John graduated from high school, he had already decided he wanted to start a business with his dad, and he loved socks, so what better venture than selling socks?  Not just socks, mind you … not plain ol’ white crew socks or black dress socks, but fun socks, funky socks!  In December 2016, John and his dad, launched an on line store named John’s Crazy Socks.

A visit to their website says it all!  Here are a few samples …

From top left:  Abraham Lincoln socks, Banana Split Troll socks, Banned Book socks, Donald Trump Hair socks, Lobster socks, Pizza and Beer socks, and Sunflower socks.

Now, typically on Wednesday’s ‘good people’ post, I shine a light on people who are feeding the homeless, helping people rebuild after a disaster, adopting or helping children survive and thrive, and it is true that John is doing none of these things.  But I happen to think that he still earned a spot in this post, for what he is doing is motivating and inspiring.  He is showing other disabled people that they can do anything they set their minds to.  And he is, I think, an inspiration to the rest of us as well, for I found myself in awe of this young man’s stamina and determination.

In under two years, John’s Crazy Socks has topped $2 million in sales revenue.  It’s easy to see why … they have some awesome socks.  My girls love funky and fuzzy socks, and I know where I will be shopping come birthday and holiday season!

From the website …

John’s Crazy Socks is a father-son venture inspired by John Lee Cronin, a young man with Down syndrome, and his love of colorful and fun socks, or what he calls his “crazy socks.” Our is a business built on love. We’re on a mission to spread happiness through socks.

We have built our business on four pillars:

Socks: We offer over 1,200 socks so that you can find the perfect socks for you or to give as a gift. Our customers love our socks.

Fast and Personal Shipping: We ship same day so most customers get their orders within two days and we make it personal. Every package contains a thank you note from John and candy. Free shipping in the US at $40.

Giving Back: We donate 5 percent of our earnings to the Special Olympics and we’ve created a series of Awareness and Charity socks and donate money form each pair of socks to causes like Down syndrome and Autism awareness, the Special Olympics and breast cancer research.

Proving What’s Possible: We’re a business started by a man with Down syndrome. We hire people with disabilities. We do all we can for our customers. We believe that doing the right thing is the best business.

All the more reason these are good people helping in their community, through donations and through hiring people with disabilities.  Please, if you have a few minutes, take time to check out their website and read their story   and check out the really crazy but cool socks! Heck, maybe you’ll even want to buy a pair or two!

Larry “Smiley” Kleiman served two tours of duty in Vietnam as a younger man. Today he spends his time doing all manners of good things, from being a volunteer firefighter and EMT, to helping out at the local K-9 unit.  Larry Kleiman is one of the good people in this story, but there is also another.  You see, Larry, nicknamed ‘Smiley’, hasn’t smiled in years, for he has no teeth.  A calcium deficiency that started while he was in Vietnam cost him his teeth over the course of the years.  Recently, though, Larry decided to go to Dr. Michael Tischler, founder of Teeth Tomorrow, for a consultation, just to see if perhaps he could get his smile back, but he left discouraged.

“I wasn’t really going to do it because it was a lot of money and on a fixed income, a retirement, there was no way feasible of me doing it.”

But he was surprised a few days later when he received a call from Dr. Tischler asking him to come back in to the office.  Dr. Tischler had been so moved by Larry’s story and what he had given – was still giving – to the world, that he decided to give Larry a full set of dental implants, valued at $60,000, for free!

Dr. Michael Tischler

“He smiled, he had no teeth. His name was Smiley, he was a fireman. He worked with dogs in Vietnam. And everything about him was just the kind of person that you want to help. They’re giving up their lives for our freedom. And to have a gentleman like this that had two tours in Vietnam, which was a horrible war… We felt good helping him.”

And there, folks, is the second ‘good person’ in this piece.  Larry has his new implants and is smiling once again, and Dr. Tischler is, in my book, a hero.

And that is a wrap for this week’s Good People Doing Good Things!  Isn’t it wonderful to realize that these people are only a small sampling of all the good people out there … people going quietly about the business of trying to help each other in whatever way they can, whether it be financial,  practical, or just giving a bit of time to someone who is lonely.  I am inspired and motivated to find a way to do something for somebody this week … how about you?

Good People Doing Good Things — A Kit and Kaboodle! It's that time again, time for a look at some of the good people who are out there doing good things for our world. 

[livefastdiepretty723]

I hate March

Basketball is lame, and it gets an entire month dedicated to the obsession that is March Madness. 

The past couple Marches have not been kind to me and my wallet. 

2015 I minding my own business getting out of my car have my giant batwing car door shoved into a ladies car thanks to the wind at the tanning bed. Mind you had I just moved my car, and not been concerned for my door or hers I wouldn’t have been out $500 dollars to fix a tiny and I mean TINY ass dent. (because when we finally met up for me to pay her for that bodywork and paint she’d had her nephew (yes, not a body shop... buff and pop the dent... I think she took me too the bank on that) you couldn’t tell. My door however to this day still has the chip in the paint. 

Same year... I have the misfortune of washing my iPhone. So much for me saving time and avoiding washing my bedding after work that day. I got up, stripped my bed, tossed everything in the washer (half wake first mistake.). I figured my phone was on the nightstand or had fell in the floor. I get ready for work, I get ready to toss my things in the dryer before leaving. No phone, looked all over the place. Go to put my clothes in the dryer....sheets, blankets, washed iphone... I didn’t hear any thumping/clanking/banging because it was tangled up in my sheets. NOT due for an upgrade. No one in my family had an upgrade available because my brother is notorious for stealing those. You MIGHT be able to replace the screen and get it to work, because it still charged, the phone would light up, you could see that you got messages/calls but you couldn’t unlock the screen or use it for anything. So I lost the phone, and everything on it. Because who wants to take a $150 gamble to fix a screen which may or may not fix the issue to pay for the phone outright in the end... $700 ish later. 

So that runs my bill for March up to $1200 give or take. 

Then the following year... I have to fix my own mistake because I misjudged some distance from a pole at the carwash. Another $700-$800 (I forget and since my bank is switching hands I can’t look at anything online...eye twitch)  

Tires, I needed tires... UGH. I was trying to prolong doing that until I really needed to. Well the one tire wasn’t holding its proper PSI and the low pressure light was constantly coming on. I knew I was going to need tires sooner than later but I was hoping for a little bit later. Oh thank goodness I drive a sports car, and I didn’t get the most expensive ones out there and I went to the place that quoted me the lowest price.. $850ish 

So now between two marches, and mostly misfortunes $2700. I could have had a hell of a vacation or two with that money. And all but the tires could have been avoided, those ides of march are not kind to me. 

The lucky streak (HA, unlucky) continues... I go to switch everything from my current wallet into a wallet I just purchased tonight. My new current drivers license is MIA. I haven’t been anywhere to be carded, and I haven’t really been in my wallet a lot lately. I freak out, I ask my mom since I still live at home if she’s seen it. She acts as if I’m accusing her of stealing or moving it. NO I DONT HAVE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE SHE BARKS. I go out to my car, trying not to cry/freak out/send myself into a full blown panic attack. I’m looking under my seats, in the console whilst doing this I set my panic button on my remote entry should be key too (thanks Chevy for your stupid fix for a defect in your car only to continue to make all the new models with the switch blade key, I have the cheap looking additional key... eye roll) So I’ve woke up half the neighborhood if they were asleep by accident, I’m not getting any calmer. Car-Eliminated. My friend is telling me to retrace my steps. You think I haven’t thought of that. I was doing that mentally as I walked out to my car... I legit haven’t been anywhere besides work up until today where my wallet left my car. I got gas Wednesday and when I do that I take the necessary things out in the car before pumping. I asked my brother who was with me when I stopped if he remembered seeing it, just in case. No dice. Gas Station-Eliminated. While asking my brother I had him cough up his license since he has the new ugly pink NC license to see if it would slide out with the older one behind it. NOPE.  I remembered thinking wait didn’t I have to enter my ID number when I applied for the red card. Yup. Dad’s office, I look through papers I have no business rifling through but he’s gone for around three weeks for work. And I’m pretty sure if he saw my ugly mug on my license laying around he would have returned it to me. Dad’s office (since its the only place I can dock and print because he wants his all in one to kick the bucket before he gets a wireless printer... I get it but it would be so nice to have a wireless printer) Dad’s office- pretty much eliminated unless it got shuffled into his paperwork in his laptop bag. My purse/wallet- dumped it out, looked in compartments and makeup type bags I use to store stuff...no such luck. purse/wallet-eliminated. I called buffalo wild wings and asked if they might have found it... NO ONE HAD TURNED ONE IN. Well I could have told you the exact booth I was in. So it could be sitting in the floor there. BDUBS- eliminated? I tried calling Target I got no answer after all the lovely automated hours/location/etc. So it could have fallen out there, but I doubt it. I’m sure my friend would have been like hey you dropped something. Work, I don’t go in my wallet at work most of the time. And I’d like to think that if I lost it there someone I work with would be like hey I found your license and its in the office. I doubt that is the case. Walgreens at the red box is the only place I can think of that it could have fallen out by whilst testing the falling out theory I shook my wallet pretty hard. And the way I held it then wasn’t that rough. So unless it fell out there and someone took it inside. I doubt I’m ever going to see that license again. I’ve already applied/paid for a duplicate/replacement copy. $13.00 down the drain. My sanity is waning... I let little things like that drive me crazy, I’ll sit up tonight and nitpick and try to figure out what happened. Maybe I should go by walgreens tomorrow before work. Hell maybe I should hit them, bdubs and target to put my mind at ease. I would like to think I can have some faith in the human race and a good person took it inside or they find it and keep it. Or hell mail it to me, my address is correct on the license. I’ve helped get in contact with a girl who my “friend” found her wallet on campus, he didn’t have facebook and she got it back. I helped a manager not too long ago go through our valuables lost and found drawer and get some things back to people. 

Am I that horrible of a person that I get no inkling of good luck, good karma or whatever... I don’t need it all, just a dash. I really question that I am ever going to be granted a dash of that stuff. 

So 2 Marches, and 11 days into a third... Running total $2713. It makes me sick.