Tumgik
#again i am very late i’m so sorry i’ve had no time and no energy to make these </33
mcu-coworkers · 1 year
Text
Where do broken hearts go?
Miguel O’Hara x reader
Summary: You decide to do Miguel a favor and give him what he wants. or so you thought you did.
Word count:1k+
A/n: I came up with this at 1am:0 pt.2 is in the works
Parts: I^ II  III
Tumblr media
Ever since the multiverse was disrupted he changed.
Little by little, day by day, you began to see it worsen. You began to see him worsen.
And there was nothing you could do to help him, he made that very clear.
You loved Miguel with every fiber of your being. It was almost embarrassing considering he barely did so much as look your way when he came home.
It wasn't always like this, and those were the moments you clung to when your thoughts were at their darkest.
Before all of this he was happy, we were happy.
The man   I   loved kissed me almost every second we were together and never went a day without telling me a cheesy punch line to get a laugh out of me.
When he proposed to you it was the happiest day of your life, you thought it could only get better from here.
You were marrying the love of your life. What could go wrong?
You understood him, or at least you tried but it was hard at times when the closest you could get to him lately was standing on the other side of the door to his office where he’d just ignore you some more.
The furthest you got was when you urged him to talk to you but all he said was “ You? What could you possibly do to help me? You don't even know what a cannon event is let alone an anomaly! Por dios.” and straight into his office he went.
As much as you loved your husband you knew that a minute more of this would kill you.
You were two strangers living under the safe roof at this point, he wouldn't even notice if you left.
So you did.
First you called your lawyer to prepare the divorce papers, next you found a place to stay, packed your bags and now you were ready.
You wanted to tell him face to face but as soon as you looked his way he shrugged you off once again.
“Not now Y/n  I   have reports to write for the spider society.”  and like always you were just another fly on the wall.
Sighing with tears brimming your eyes you grabbed a notebook and a pen.
You began writing a goodbye that he probably wouldn't even bother to read.
Dear Miguel,
Things haven't been the same for sometime now. It feels like the man  I   once fell in love with doesn't love me anymore and I've been hurting ever since.   I   feel like I'm holding you back from achieving your goal with all of these canon events and things  I   don't understand. I   can't live like this anymore and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.   I   guess what I'm trying  to tell you is that I'm leaving. Next to this note that you might not even read is an envelope with divorce papers that I've already signed and left ready for you to give to my lawyer to finalize the divorce. Lastly,  I   want to thank you for giving me what will always be the best years of my life. I'll cherish them with everything  I   am and always smile at the beautiful memories we made together. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we thought they would.
With love always,
Y/n L/n
You didn't realize at what moment you began to cry but you’d managed to stain the letter. At that point you had no energy to write the damn thing all over again so you just folded it up and left it on top of the envelope.
Taking off your ring and wedding bang you set them next to it and walked out the door.
Giving what was once your home one last look, you turned your back to it and let the cool air hit your face as you got in your car and made your way to the airport.
No more going back Y/n, no more Miguel O’hara.
Little did you know as soon as you’d closed that front door Miguel's head poked out of his office, you never went out this late at night.
“Y/n? What did  I   tell you about taking out the trash?  I  ‘ll do it.” he said as he came out of his office annoyed by your lack of communication.
“Y/n? Y/n! Donde estas mujer?” (where are you woman?) he spoke out as he walked around the house.
No response.
After checking all the rooms and coming up empty handed Miguel started to feel a tightness in his chest.
“Boss, you should see these reports.” Lyla said over his shoulder.
“Not now Lyla  I  ‘m looking for my wife.” he said, shrugging the AI off.
“You think that stuff on the counter will give some clues?” she said pointing towards the letters in the kitchen.
Stopping in his tracks he turned towards the kitchen.
There was no fucking way, he thought to himself.
You’d never do this to him.
But you did.
Opening the letter he read it and quickly that tightness in his chest got tighter and his body began to shake as he felt panic consume him.
“Miguel… that envelope.” Lyla said quietly hoping it wasn't what she thought. But it was and she could just see her boss begin to break.
Ripping the envelope open he realized this isn't some kind of sick joke from your part.
Seeing your signature at the end of the page broke Miguel to pieces.
He read over the letter over and over hoping to find some clue as to where you went so he could bring you back home to him.
He knew he'd been distant for some time now but he didnt know it had affected you this badly, if he did he would've changed.
He would do anything to keep you by his side. He thought that by coming home at a decent hour you'd be happy even if he was just in his office.
Well fuck was he so wrong about that.
Picking up your rings Miguel finally let go of the tears he’d been trying so hard to hold back.
The feeling of the cold silver in the palm of his hands was like a slap in the face forcing him to accept that you’d left him.
You left thinking he hated you and for that he’d never be able to forgive himself, not for that or any of this.
Taking a deep breath he tried to focus.
“Lyla, call Jess, tell her she's in charge of the spider society until  I find my wife and bring her home.” he ordered as he stood up walking towards your shared bedroom.
“Yes boss. Go get your girl back!.” she replied wishing him the best of luck before heading off to find his sub in.
Miguel had all the resources in the world, finding you would only take him seconds.
It was convincing you to come back that would be his biggest challenge.
But first he was paying a visit to your lawyer.
2K notes · View notes
monster-disaster · 6 months
Note
Request for a Grotesque? (Gargoyle is the popular name, but not the correct name).
It’s been a long time since I’ve read a lot of your stories, so please forgive me if I’m repetitive with plots you’ve already done.
Can you make him have DILF energy? Not an actual man with kids or an ex, just a man who’s good with kids, and is on the older side of course. I’m in desperate need of a very affectionate and gentle lover who just wants to overwhelmingly dote and take care of his future wifey. Is being someone’s baby girl too much to ask? T^T I can’t really handle super dominant and aggressive lover types. Like being ridiculously sweet, indulgent, intelligent, and manipulative is such a better archetype to get the girl. Bro don’t hit me in the bedroom. I’m delicate and bruise super easily.
Male x Female reader, if that’s not too much to ask :)
Thanks love!
Gods, I really need a boyfriend like that right now. I hope you will like it! :)
gargoyle/grotesque x Reader Warnings: smut
There is a slight pain at the back of your head. It throbs in sync with your pulse, making you scowl at the screen. The document stares back at you with bright, white lights. The long rows of black text become blurry for a second, and you need to close your eyes to stop yourself from tearing up. "Did you drink enough water?"
The sudden voice makes you jump with a startled gasp. In the process, you push yourself away from your desk, and you need to grab onto the wooden edge. Your eyes snap open, staring at the entrance of your office. "Garog," you say his name, watching him approach you. He is still in his work clothes with a paper bag in his hand. The scent of your favorite takeout fills your nostrils when he puts it on the table in favor of focusing on you. "Did you drink enough water?" He asks again, slipping his thick fingers to the back of your neck, drawing small circles on your tense muscles. A relieved breath leaves your lips at the feeling. You hum. "You can't solve everything with water," you tell him. Garog chuckles, reaching into the bag to put a bottle of water in front of you. "Are you sure about it?" "Thank you," you reply, reaching out for the bottle. You know the gargoyle won't leave you alone until you drink at least a few sips. He massages your neck and shoulders the whole time while you do so. "And eat too," he says after a while, stepping away to grab a chair and put it next to you. The thing creaks under his weight. "It's still warm." "I thought you were at home," you tell him while he is busy with the plastic containers. He shrugs. "I was," he says. "Then I called you twice, and when you didn't answer, I thought you had a rough day." "Did you call?" You ask, wanting to reach for your phone, but Gargog stops you with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry." "It's fine, love," he says. "As I said, I knew you had a busy day." Silence settles between you two while you openly stare at him. He is broad with sharp edges and gray sideburns. His nose is crooked, and you can barely see the color of his eyes when he smiles at you. The grayish shade of his skin seems lighter under the office lights. "Do you need anything else?" He asks. "No," you reply, a bit dreamily. "Sometimes I just forget how lucky I am." He grins at you before leaning down to kiss your lips. It's short and chaste. "I am the lucky one."
You could argue with him but decide against it.
For a while, both of you say nothing and just enjoy the calmness of your office while eating. Every bite and sip of water reminds you that eating and drinking weren't in your priorities today.
You glance at Garog from the corner of your eye. Damn, you really are lucky.
"I can throw them out," you tell Garog after your late dinner when he stands up to clean up your desk. "I want to make some coffee anyway." He frowns at you. "You shouldn't drink coffee this late." With a tired sigh, you lean back on your chair, massaging the side of your head in circles. "You still hurt, huh?" He asks, coming back to your side to rake his fingers through your hair. Your eyes fall shut immediately. "It will be fine," you tell him. "It's not that bad anymore, thanks to you." "My poor baby," he coos, and you laugh at his tone. "But lucky you, I know how we can get rid of it." "Water? Sleep?" You guess, still enjoying his caresses with closed eyes. "Those too," Garog agrees with something in his voice that makes you look up at him. He towers over you with wide shoulders and his wings that peek out from behind him. Your fingertips tingle with the urge to touch them. "But later. Now, I have something else in my mind." You know the heated glint in his eyes too well. He doesn't even have to say or do anything, and your body reacts immediately. "Here?" You ask him, shocked. "What if someone comes in?" You glance at the closed door a few meters away. Garog scoffs at your worry, pulling on your chair to separate you from your desk. "Nobody is here anymore, Y/N," he replies. "You are the only one still working." "Oh." He is right. "Do you trust me?" You almost frown, hearing his question. "Of course." "Then let me have my dessert, love." Something warm and giddy lits in your stomach as you laugh. "It was horrible." "It was not," he grins, getting rid of your pants and panties with one swift motion. "Are you really laughing at me?" He asks, amused. "No," you lie. "At least not for long," Garog grins at you wolfishly, settling on his knees between your legs. Whatever you wanted to say a few moments ago is long forgotten.
His hands are firm but gentle on your legs as he slides them up to your inner thighs, opening you up even more in front of his hungry eyes. "You are already wet," he states, running his thumb over your pussy, gathering your slickness on the tip of his finger. Your stomach flutters with excitement and anticipation. The muscles of your thighs almost hurt in the wide spread you keep them to give enough space for the gargoyle. "Garog," you breath out his name, impatient.
Your hectic day and the bright light of your laptop are forgotten. The only thing that still exists in your world right now is Garog, kneeling and leaning closer to your center. His breath fans over your slit, making you clench around nothing. And you don't have to wait for long to feel his tongue swipe over your wetness. "Fuck!" You groan, letting your head fall against the headrest of your chair. Your nails dig into the leather. He grunts something you don't understand, but to be honest, you don't even care. The rumble of his words surges through your body, searing over your nerves and veins. Your back arches when his tongue runs along your slit, flicking your clit repeatedly until you are a panting mess. Your fingers rake through his hair, keeping him against your pussy. "Oh!" Garog's lips close around your clit, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth with fever. You feel like a raw nerve, ready to burst. "Don't!' You cry, tightening your hold on his hair when he moves lower to bully your aching hole. "Please!" He hums again in answer, smiling into your pussy for a moment before returning to your clit. Electricity pumps your blood down to your center, and you writhe under him while pleasure builds in your belly. "There!" You mewl into the quiet office, filled with your moans. "Please! Garog!" His tongue rolls around your clit, taking it into his mouth again for a few last sucks to chase you to your orgasm. Your body trembles and shakes. Your hips twitch and push against his warm mouth while he drinks up your juices, humming and groaning with satisfaction. Waves of ecstasy crash through you, and white-hot circles dance in front of your closed eyes. "My girl," Garog hums, petting your thighs. His palms are warm on your skin, massaging your flesh and bringing you back to real life. "Take your time."
When you finally calm down after a few minutes, you feel tired but happy. Your eyelids are heavy, and Garog can't help but smile at your slugged form. "Can you come home with me?" He asks softly, glancing at your laptop. "And maybe we could stay at home tomorrow?" You hum, nodding. "But I need my laptop." "Of course, love," he says. "I put everything away while you get dressed." "I love you," you tell him, and he smiles.
272 notes · View notes
spiderlandry · 13 days
Text
Secrets Kept — Ethan Landry
in which you have a secret, and it’s not what ethan thinks.
Tumblr media
Pairing: Ethan Landry x Spider-Woman!Reader (she/her pronouns used)
Warnings: minor gunshot wound, kind of escalates quickly?, mention of reader having no family (other than aunt may), slight angst, fluff, no ghostface (previous movies can still be canon i think), somewhat dialogue-heavy, mentions of Across the Spider-Verse events
Word Count: ~9k
Author’s Note: hey everyone, i do wanna apologize for promising to come back and then just. not. so im sorry for that! i have had some health/life troubles recently and long story short i won’t be releasing anymore fics after this. (i am not dying, dont worry, my energy just isnt the same). i also realized i just do not feel as passionate about writing as i used to. thank you for sticking with me, and i will keep all my fics up. for unfinished series i’ve written, anyone is free to write continuations if you wish. thank u so much again for making me feel so welcome here!!! feel free to talk to me in my inbox as i’ll be checking in periodically. and if there’s any interest, i’m willing to post unedited wips.
i guess i've come full circle because this fic was the reason i created this blog. it was unfinished so i never did post it, but i finally got some energy to do it! so enjoy (hopefully)
-
New York had been your home for a long time. All your life, actually. But sometimes, the rowdy, noisy city was suffocating.
However, swinging through the city, air resisting against your skin as you picked up speed—lifted the weight off your shoulders.
You changed in a secluded alley on the outskirts of the busyness in the big apple, not risking any neighbours seeing you go into the window of your apartment. The subway was crowded as it is all hours of the day, though you didn’t mind too much.
Closing the door behind you, you dropped your bag on the couch and looked for your roommate. “Quinn?” Your voice travelled throughout the place, bringing your roommate to her feet and outside her room.
“Hey, d’you just get back?” She smiled, leaning against the end of the hallway. “How was patrol?”
You sighed, opening the zipper of your backpack to pull out the bagel you got for her. “Yeah, it was alright. Nothing exciting.” you threw it to her, and she almost dropped it. “Got you a bagel. Thanks for covering for me.”
She scoffed in mock offence, “What did I say about throwing things? I don’t have your spider sensor, or whatever. But this is appreciated.” She took a bite, and you laughed at her remark about the spider-sense.
“Noted, sorry again.” You returned her grin. You knew she loved being in on the secret. She took joy in knowing the real identity of the masked vigilante, often covering for you around your friends when you had to leave very suddenly during movie nights and hangouts. But above all, she was a concerned friend. Always. Patched you up when you came home late at night, warned you when you were about to make a bad decision, told you to be careful before you left.
You often told yourself not to get too close. Making connections as a vigilante wasn’t ideal. Anybody who knew your identity was in danger at all times, and it didn’t help that you had a huge crush on her brother. You never uttered a word to her, but you could sense her observing you when you hung out with the friend group—not in a spidey-sense way, though, you could just feel it, even without the supernatural sense.
“Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” You asked, flopping down on the couch and turning on the tv, avoiding the news channels.
“Ethan missed you. It was kinda gross, actually. Wouldn’t stop asking where you were.” She grabbed a drink from the kitchen, disappearing from view.
You furrowed your brows, “You know I never believe you whenever you say anything about Ethan, right? Especially concerning me.”
“Not my problem, spidey. I never lie.”
“I could give you ten examples,” you chuckled.
“I never lie to you. Obviously I lie to everybody else.” She came back from the kitchen with a look.
“Is it because I’m special?”
“Obviously.”
You weren’t the nervous type. Maybe it was after you were bitten by the spider, you never really knew, but one of the main reasons Ethan may not have realized you have any semblance of feelings for him was because you acted normal around him like you did everybody else. Your schedules were different, so you rarely hung out with him for school reasons, meaning the only times he spent time with you was during group hangouts.
Including now. At his and Chad’s tiny off campus apartment.
He watched you play chess with Anika, Chad watching from the sidelines during a blitz game. Speed chess. He knew how to play chess. Maybe he should play with you, a thought grazed his mind.
As if his sister could read him, she appeared beside him and nudged him closer to the scene. “You should play.”
He looked at her with shock, “No, I’ll lose. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Since when has that stopped you? You never back down from a chess match, remember?” He did remember, years ago when his father taught him after Richie left for college. “It’s because you like her, isn’t it?”
He huffed. To try and prove her wrong, he went over to the coffee table and watched as you lost to Anika—maybe he has a chance.
It was his turn, now. He replaced Anika on the seat facing you, rearranging the chess pieces. “Pretty boy wants to play!” Chad exclaimed.
“Chad.” Ethan said in an almost warning tone. “What did I say about the nickname?”
You reset the chess clock. He looked at you—you were smirking—which was a mistake, because he didn’t realize you started his clock.
“Shit,” he moved a piece, fumbling. You grinned at him, and he realized he’ll do anything to see it again.
You didn’t lose your confidence, moving chess pieces to counteract his own moves.
During the middle game was when it dawned on him he was fucked.
It became clear to him you likely knew how to psych him out—just by smiling at him.
Little did he know, you smiled at him because his thinking face was adorable. But on his side, you were smiling every time he glanced at you. He had no other choice but to believe you were doing it to make him blunder, because he couldn’t make you usually smile like that, could he?
Quinn watched her brother fumble around you. Her plan worked. At least for tonight.
You ended up winning the game with ten seconds left on your clock and three on his.
You high-fived Chad, much to Ethan’s dismay, but you offered a handshake to his direction which he gladly accepted to feel your warm palm in his. Worth it.
He was mustering up to ask for a rematch when your phone buzzed on the counter, which Quinn reached to get before anyone could in case it was something spider related. And thank god she did, because it was. She gave you a nod, reading the notification about something happening downtown. You cringed internally, knowing the burden of covering for you would fall on your friend’s shoulders again. She packed your things and handed you the backpack, whispering ‘be safe’ as you take it from her, so nobody else would hear.
With a closing of the door behind you, a conversation in the room began, thanks to a suspecting Mindy.
“Why does she leave sometimes?” The woman looked to the strawberry blonde for an answer, suspecting that she knew more than she let on. “She never tells us.” They all settled on the couch as Chad flicked through streaming services for a movie and Ethan cleaned up the chessboard. He didn’t wanna seem to interested, but he was definitely actively listening for Quinn’s answer.
“Her aunt calls her sometimes to run some errands,” Quinn prayed they wouldn’t pry. She saw this coming because you’d been dealing with more calls recently and patrolling more often. There really was no other excuse for the spontaneous leaving. It was easier to cover if you were already not there—you’d be studying, grocery shopping, napping, or literally anything else.
“Aunt May?” Ethan piped up. You mentioned her once, saying you needed to get eggs for her.
“Yeah, Aunt May.”
“She never talks about her family.” Said Anika.
Quinn didn’t want to say anything else. “She’s just private, I think.”
“You know more about her than us, though.”
“Because I’m her roommate.”
Mindy’s eyes squint toward her. Tilting her head, she pursed her lips. “I think you’re lying.”
“Why would I be?”
“She’s left before, at like, one AM. Why would her aunt call her at that time?”
Quinn shrugged, feeling a little bit of panic setting in. “Who knows?”
“Is she hiding something?”
“No.” The word was so quick and curt, and that was when she knew she fucked up.
“You’re definitely lying.”
Everyone else, watching the interaction turning from teasing to tense, Sam stepped in. “Guys,” she interrupted. “If Y/N wants to tell us something, she would. I’m sure she has her reasons.”
Mindy had been suspicious for a long time. Not out of malice, she liked to think she had a naturally curious personality. She’d kept an eye on you every time you left, half because she wanted to know, but also because she was worried. Had you not been friends for long enough that you couldn’t tell them why you left or was sometimes missing?
Ethan thought similar.
It got weirder when he saw a glimpse of your name on Quinn’s phone, a call from you that she answered. She went to the kitchen to answer it. Mindy saw it too.
Ethan wasn’t proud of it, but he followed, to stay right behind the threshold of the kitchen and the cold tiled floor, listening to the conversation.
The audio from your end was inaudible, but Quinn’s responses were: “Yeah?” … “How bad is it?” … “No, I’ll be there.” … “Who cares if they get suspicious? You’re more important.”
He heard the call end and rushed back to his seat, to Quinn’s obliviousness. She grabbed her things.
“I’m tired, guys.” She announced to the group, Tara pausing the movie. “I’m gonna go home.”
“Oh,” Sam replied. “Well, be careful. Do you have your pepper spray?”
“Yes, Sam.” Quinn almost rolled her eyes at Sam’s protectiveness, but she knew it was out of real worry.
After his sister left, Ethan began the conversation this time. “I think Mindy’s right.”
Everyone turned to him.
“Quinn was talking to Y/N.”
Tara sat up. “You followed her to eavesdrop?”
Ethan shrugged, feeling scolded.
“Not cool, dude.”
“What did she say?” Sam asked curiously, now hooked. If Ethan mentioned it, it must have been important.
“Like���” A pause, “Q asked ‘how bad is it?’ then said she’ll be there. And then, like, who cares if they get suspicious.”
“They’re definitely hiding something,” Mindy stated. “But why?”
“My sister never hides anything from me. She always overshares, and I always hated it. But now she’s not. It’s probably not…good.”
“Are we sure we should talk about this?” Anika piped up next to Mindy. “Maybe it’s a problem with their apartment—a leak, or something.”
“But…” Chad spoke, “what about the suspicious part? And why would Quinn lie?”
At the same time, at your and Quinn’s apartment, you bled out on a towel placed on the couch from a gash across your stomach. You winced as your friend applied the bandage.
“Didn’t I tell you to be safe? What happened? You had a good streak going there for a while.”
“Quinn, please.”
“Also, not to alarm you, but they’re getting really suspicious. Mindy asked why you leave all the time.”
“Shit, she’s never asked that.” Your head fell against the end of the couch in defeat. “Maybe I should start distancing myself.”
Quinn’s head snapped up. “You’re not serious.”
“Dead serious.”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“Say what?” You looked at her.
“It’s a really bad idea.”
“I’m trying to keep people safe. Keep you safe. Keep everyone else in the group safe.”
“What about Ethan?”
“Including him.”
“No—“ She scoffs, “I mean, you’d…break his heart.”
You had to stop yourself from laughing. “Quinn,”
“I’m serious.” And she actually was. She might have thought her brother was a nerdy asshole. But he was her brother. “And everyone would wonder where you are. You can’t avoid them forever.”
Sitting atop a random apartment building Monday morning, your sight helped you catch a glimpse of Ethan walking amongst a crowd of New Yorkers, bumping into people with a hand on the backpack strap on his shoulder. It had been a week since you talked to Quinn about possibly leaving the group.
After that, you stopped answering messages from them, much to her dismay. She still saw you at the apartment, looking at you with silent eyes hoping you’d realize your mistake and come around again. She knew you would.
Having everybody’s schedules memorized helped you avoid them—but Anika having the same major as you was your downfall. You skipped a class yesterday, and she texted the groupchat asking where you were.
Maybe it was creepy, but keeping an eye on your friends calmed you down. You wanted to be the one to make sure they were safe without having them try to do the same thing—this was why you never wanted to get close.
Unbeknownst to you, the group had a bet going.
Mindy thought you and Quinn were dating. Ethan thought something was up in your family life, maybe Aunt May was sick. Chad thought you were in a secret fight club (secretly worried). Anika was on board with Mindy’s theory. Sam refused to answer, and Tara was also silent.
Quinn came to your room that night. “Everybody’s worried about you.”
You looked at her with begging eyes. “I know, Quinn.” You sighed in defeat. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Either you tell them or not. Your choice. But you can’t avoid it forever. Everyone’s been giving you space, but they’re still thinking you’ll come around.”
You stared at her, them looked away, at anything else.
“One more thing—“ she said before she left, “don’t patrol tonight.”
“Why not?”
“I’m gonna be over at Isaac’s place. If you get hurt, I won’t be there. He thinks I’m cheating on him whenever I bail.”
You would never ask her to give up a part of her life for you, she knew you would agree. But she also knew you would never miss patrol.
“Fine, I won’t.”
She left knowing you would.
You should have listened. God, you should have listened.
Your wound from a few days ago had already healed thanks to your abilities, but another power you had was how many times you got injured in a short amount of time. Especially in the same spot. This time it was a real stab wound on your side, not just a gash a centimetre deep.
You couldn’t let yourself bleed out on the alley to be found dead and your friends to find out your identity through a news announcement that Spider-Woman was dead. You were about to swing back to your apartment—
Shit.
You didn’t have your civilian clothes. The window on the fire escape was locked. Your door was locked. Nobody was home. Idiot!
One choice. You forced your feelings down, hoping this was for the best.
Ethan and Chad’s were the closest.
With your heart pounding in your ears, holding it together and covering your wound, you knocked on the glass.
Chad came out of the hallway to furious sounding knocking on the window, thinking maybe a madman managed to climb up the fire escape and was trying to break in.
He certainly wasn’t expecting the masked vigilante of New York City to be the one on the other side of the glass. And she looked to be bleeding.
You were thankful it was Chad who answered and not Ethan. He coincidentally had Econ tonight, so that was actually a plus.
Chad opened the window. “Holy shit!”
“Look—“ You were breathing rapidly, unable to keep it together. “I’m sorry about this—“ You tried to change your voice hoping your friend wouldn’t recognize it.
“I’m gonna carry you now, okay?” He put an arm behind your back and another under your knees, trying to avoid touching the wound. “What the fuck?” You heard him whisper as he set you down on the couch.
He rushed to the bathroom for the med kit. “You’re lucky I have this,” He set it down on the floor, rummaging through it. “I play college football, I mainly have it for sprains. I never used the suture kit, but hey, first time for everything, right?” He rambled. Just as Chad does when he was nervous, also evident in the tremble of his voice.
“I heal pretty quickly, I just need stitches to stop it from bleeding.”
“Thank God. I don’t know how to operate on organs. What if you have internal bleeding?”
“Won’t matter. I’ll heal. I’d never let you touch my organs.” You joked.
“Glad to know Spider-Woman’s funny.”
You were careful not to call him by name on instinct. “What should I call you?”
“Your saviour.” He got the tools ready, “Kidding. I’m Chad.”
“‘Kay, Chad. Need me to walk you through it?”
“Yes—yes, that would be good, actually. You have medical experience?”
“If you call getting injured experience, yes.”
“This is gonna be a long night.”
Tara did not believe her boyfriend.
She was at his apartment, sitting on his bed, and he was pacing and rambling about Spider-Woman coming to this very place last night and asked the vigilante to save her. She stared at him crazy.
“Babe, you have to believe me!” He jumped up excitedly, he couldn’t keep it in.
“You didn’t get any proof?”
“She was bleeding! I stitched her up! Not really a great time to ask for an autograph or a picture.”
She smiled at him endearingly. “I wanna believe you, so, so bad.”
He came closer to her, “Please do.”
“She just happened to come here when Ethan was away?”
“Yes.”
She laughed, falling back on the bed.
“Please, babe!”
With good timing, a knock on the door took them away from the moment.
Tara went to get it, Chad on her tail.
And surprise.
It was Spider-Woman at the door.
You never intended on showing up, but the guilt consumed you and your feet brought you to a bakery and you’d purchased a dozen cupcakes before you knew it. You wanted to leave them at his door, but not trusting his neighbours, you decided to hand them over.
He wasn’t alone. You should have expected Tara. It was afternoon, and Ethan had a class early morning (why he picked it that early, you’ll never get.)
Tara’s eyes widened at the sight, immediately turning back to her boyfriend stopping him in his tracks. “Is this a prank?” She pointed a finger up at him.
Him not knowing who’s at the door, “What? Who’s at the door?” He walked past her and was equally shocked.
You lowered your voice again. “Uh,” you cleared your throat, “thanks for saving me last night.” You handed over the box of cupcakes.
“Are you joking?” Tara went to lift your mask, but you backed away. “Who are you?”
“Not a prank, promise!” You exclaimed. “This is…actually…me. Just wanted to say thanks. If not for him, I would have bled out.”
“Prove it.”
“Prove what?”
“You’re her.”
At that, you shot a web to the ceiling.
“Shit,”
“I wasn’t lying, babe.” You heard Chad whisper to her. And directed at you, “Glad I could help, spider. Come back anytime!” Tara playfully slapped him on the shoulder as you walked away.
“I’ll keep that in mind!”
You still hadn’t told Quinn about what happened last night. That was because you hadn’t seen her anywhere. She must have slept in at her boyfriend(?)’s place.
As you got home, your phone buzzed.
Bruno Mars Security Team
Chad
everyone !!!!!!!! please come over tonight !!!!!!! i have to tell you all something !!!!!!! im spiderwomans best friend now
Tara
well…
Sam
???
Quinn
Oh god
Ethan
What lol
Then, a personal message notification from Quinn.
Quinn
Wtf happened while I was gone you have to tell me
You
I HAD NO CHOICE
Quinn
Please actually come over to Chad’s. We all miss you even tho its only a few days like we’re all worried
You
i will
Chad had never been happier to see you. “You’re here! And you’re early!” He opened his arms for a hug, which you took. “I missed you!” You’d always been a little sister to him, despite being a few months apart, it mattered to him.
“Sorry I’ve been MIA,” You sighed, pulling away. “Just—dealing with stuff,” you cleared your throat.
Just then, Tara appeared and ran into your arms. You squeezed her tight, knowing she gave the best kinds of hugs. Her arms wrapped around your neck, head resting against your shoulder, fitting like a puzzle piece. “Talk to us anytime, okay?”
You nodded, ending the hug and closing the door behind you.
“What’s this about Spider-Woman?” You inquired, grabbing a drink from the fridge.
“I have to wait until everyone gets here, you guys are gonna freak! And Tara is here to back me up.”
“Is that all I’m here for?” Tara teased.
“No, honey, you know it’s also because we’re using your Netflix login.”
You laughed at their antics as she flicked him on the forehead lightly.
Ethan happened to catch you right at that moment as he came out of the bathroom.
He was silent, but shot you a smile nonetheless, which you mirrored. He really did not know what to say. A feeling bubbled up inside him and he knew he wanted to talk to you alone.
You took your place at the very end of the couch, checking something on your phone as you waited for the others to get here. Unbeknownst to you, though, Ethan was looking at you trying to decide whether it was the right time to talk. Chad and Tara were whispering to themselves, betting on if he would actually say anything.
After a few seconds, your senses told you somebody was staring. Not in a dangerous way, or even remotely alarming, but you could still feel it. So you turned your head upward and saw the curly haired boy a standing awkwardly a few feet from you.
“What’re you doing?” You smirked, though not really in a smug way. It was more amusement than anything.
“Uh—nothing, I just—“ He wandered closer, sitting a few centimetres away from you. “I—we, the group, want you to know that we’re always here if you need anything. You can talk to us, alright? You don’t—just don’t deal with it alone.” He shrugged, “That’s it.”
Your face softened at his confession. Only if you could tell them without compromising their safety. “Thanks. I’ll…keep you posted.”
Ethan didn’t know what to do now that the conversation was seemingly over.
He was about to stand up until the door swung open, Quinn coming in along with Mindy and Anika who were carrying a few boxes of pizza.
“We’re here! And we brought food!” Mindy’s voice echoed throughout the apartment.
You were going to greet them but Anika beat you to it, seeing you on the couch and running over to hug you.
Mindy did the same, relieved to see you okay.
Quinn had a knowing smile on her face.
After the room settled down, Chad began to finally tell the story.
Needless to say, nobody believed him.
By the end of the night, long past midnight, you were getting ready to leave when Ethan asked you something.
“Are you going with Quinn?”
Mindy and Anika were waiting at the door, they both got a ride from your roommate since Mindy’s car broke down a few days ago.
“No, uhm—I think I’m gonna walk home. It’s only a few blocks.”
Quinn, upon hearing you, chimed in. “Really? You sure you don’t want to?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You shared a look with her that only the two of you knew. You turned to Ethan, “Why?”
“Can I walk you?”
You were surprised, to say the least. “Really?”
“So you’re safe.”
Preparing to protest, you felt Quinn’s hand on your arm. “Let him.”
So you did.
The walk home was brisk. The streets were empty, the street lamps illuminating your synchronized steps with Ethan.
With him, silence was never awkward. It was just…quiet.
It was no secret that you were perceptive, especially to your friends. Quinn knew why, but the others thought it was just you, not something caused by the spider bite. Your senses were especially heightened around Ethan.
You would never mention it, but you knew his heartbeat sped up when he got close to you. You only caught it a few times on accident trying to listen for something else, but you’d never actually do it on purpose.
Lately it seemed he was spending more time with you since the night you came back (which was three weeks ago at this point). One, he would message you on Discord asking if you wanted to do a study call—you never failed to say yes (making Ethan giddy). Two, he began to ask you things about your life during those calls when you would both take a break from studying. Like he wanted to know more about you.
Three, you began to spend time together outside the group.
Quinn was excited for you the first time you told her that you were going to see Ethan and only him. Of course, you told her not to read into it, but when has she ever listened?
Things were going fairly well. Especially with New York as a whole, nothing too major had happened (no supervillains, thank god), only a few robberies and cats stuck in a tree.
You were sitting atop a building when a tingling sensation in the back of your neck alerted you to something. Then, as you honed your hearing, you heard glass breaking a block away.
Swinging never got old.
As you reached your destination, a small bodega being robbed, you spotted him. Ethan.
Your heart began to pound in your ears, watching from the outside as the robber trained the gun on his hostages inside the bodega, one of them being Ethan.
It was like muscle memory. Go in, threaten the robber, and if it escalated, you fought him.
“I’m going to get rid of you, Spider-Woman!” The man in the mask hissed at you, his pistol trained right at your heart. This part didn’t scare you anymore, but Ethan being here—did. “If you come any closer…” He stepped away, instead pointing the gun at some old lady, who looked scared shitless. “I’ll shoot her!” He noticed you weren’t fazed at threats against you, so he targeted the next best thing: civilians.
“Easy, there, cowboy. Why don’t you point that gun at me? I thought you wanted to get rid of me.” You tilted your head, gauging the severity of the situation.
In your peripheral vision, Ethan stepped in front of the lady, trying to usher her to the side.
God, he was an idiot—but you’d be lying if you said that didn’t warm your heart.
The robber didn’t notice because he was still staring at you, watching for any sudden movements you’d make.
It happened in three seconds.
One, you shot the web to the gun, trying to pull it back to you.
Two, the gun went off—a slip of his finger caused by your web. Before you saw who it hit, the man came at you.
Three, you took him down, knocking him out.
It was the next second that you decided your life wouldn’t be the same.
You heard a hiss, a gasp from onlookers, and you took away the magazine of the gun before your head snapped up to where the hiss came from.
Ethan.
Red was the first thing you saw. It was on that yellow cardigan he wore when it was chilly—You rushed to his side, seeing the red come from his arm. He was backed up, leaning against the wall.
He was wide-eyed, face scrunched up in pain. “Shit,” He put pressure on his wound. “It hurt less than I thought it would.”
If only he could see how the tears lined your eyes under the mask.
“We need—“ You tried to keep your voice steady— “We need to get you to a hospital.”
“I’m fine,” He hissed again as you pressed harder on his arm. “It’s just a graze.” He saw your concern.
“No—It could’ve—it could’ve hit something vital—“ Despite your knowledge that it likely didn’t, your head was spinning and rational thought weren’t exactly on the table.
The sirens reached your ears before anyone else’s.
You took a deep breath. Your head cleared.
“The ambulance is gonna get here soon, uh—“ You cleared your throat. “Don’t move, okay?” You nodded to him, and left.
Okay, you didn’t actually leave. You stayed on a rooftop across the street, a few buildings over, seeing that he was okay as he got checked out by the paramedics.
That was when you actually left. For good this time.
The timing was almost perfect—the next day, an old friend came to see you.
You weren’t expecting anybody, hanging out in an abandoned building you found in the outskirts of Brooklyn when you were a teenager.
But a black hole opened up right next to you. Maybe not a black hole, but the closest thing to it.
That was when you saw Miguel O’Hara.
Quinn had no idea that, when she woke up that morning, it would be the week she spilled your secret to the friend group.
This is how it went down.
Last evening, she told you to be careful before you left for patrol. You never came back in the morning. She didn’t see any evidence of you being there, like your shoes haphazardly thrown across the floor near the front door, or your backpack on the couch. This had happened once before and she found out you were at your Aunt May’s house—so she just sent you a text and went on with her day.
It was also the day Ethan called her and told her that he was shot. Then he texted the groupchat about what happened and they all (including Quinn) rushed over to his and Chad’s apartment to see in person that he was actually okay. A bit of a freaky situation that Ethan was caught up in that, but everyone calmed down eventually. But when Ethan told the story, Quinn hoped your disappearance had nothing to do with his getting hurt. She also noticed that he was bummed about you not being there.
It was the second day she got worried. No sign of you. Nothing on the news about Spider-Woman, either.
Bruno Mars Security Team GC
Quinn
Anybody heard from Y/N?
Chad
aren’t you her roommate
Quinn
Hasn’t been home since Saturday.
Ethan
She hasnt answered any of my texts
Chad
okay now i’m worried
tara? mindy? anika? sam?
Mindy
nope. anika says no too
Sam
Not me or Tara. I’ll try calling her
She didn’t answer
Ethan
Quinn do u know where she’d go? maybe to a family member?
Quinn
I dont know her aunt mays address
Chad
let’s wait a day to see if she turns up. if not then we’ll get together to brainstorm
You weren’t there the next day, so everyone gathered at yours and Quinn’s apartment to see what could’ve happened to you.
They all stood around the kitchen island.
“Has everybody called her?” Chad said, arms crossed. “Texting her and everything?”
Everyone nodded.
“Quinn,” Tara began. “Have you checked her room?”
She looked down, almost ashamed. “I did, actually. Nothing.”
“Do you think we should…check again? Maybe we’ll find something.”
“I’m good at snooping, if you need.” Anika added.
Quinn’s eyes slightly widened, “No!” Calming down, “I mean—no. She doesn’t like other people going through her stuff. I can because I’m her roommate—not you guys.” At times of stress, this was the best she could come up with.
“Okay…” Mindy’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How about an address to Aunt May’s place? Do you think we could find that somewhere?”
The realization dawned upon her—no way of getting to you. “No. But she would’ve told me if she was going there.”
“Look, Quinn.” Mindy sighed, “Can you just—be honest with us?”
The ginger nodded.
“What was the last thing she said to you?”
“I—she was going out to buy something.”
Ethan’s nostrils flared—he knew when his sister was lying. Why was she so adamant to hide your whereabouts, even if it meant you were in danger? He sighed.
“I’ve—“ Everyone’s heads snapped to Ethan at his interruption. “I’ve had enough of it, Quinn. What the fuck are you two hiding? Seriously.”
Safe to say there was nobody in that kitchen who wasn’t surprised at his sudden outburst. He didn’t care, though.
“You always fucking lie, Quinn. I can tell. Why don’t you think I can tell? She goes missing, and you’re still keeping a secret!”
Chad put a hand on his shoulder, “Dude.”
The boy took a deep breath, reminding himself where he was. “Sorry. For shouting, I mean. But you can’t just—ask us to look for her when we all know damn well that you know something we don’t.”
At that moment, she had two choices. She thought for a long moment before she couldn’t find a rational explanation as to why she shouldn’t tell them that you’re Spider-Woman—you could be dead by now.
She walked away, hearing Mindy say “Are you fucking serious?” right behind her.
They didn’t have to wait for long, because Quinn came back from your room with something in her hand. They examined the object as she threw it onto the counter.
It was a mask—Spider-Woman’s mask.
“Holy shit,” Sam was the first to say.
“Wanna know the secret?” Quinn crossed her arms. “There’s your fucking secret.” She directed it at Ethan, whose mouth was slightly open.
She took a deep breath, a similar trait to her brothers to calm herself down. “The night she left, she told me she was going on patrol. When she didn’t come back the next morning I thought she was fine. Now it’s the third day, nothing from her. Look—I might’ve—like, fucked up. I don’t know.”
“How?” Asked Mindy.
“I should’ve told you sooner.”
It was clear to them that Quinn must have had this weight on her shoulders for so long.
“I have…so many questions.” Said Chad. “So when…Spider-Woman came to my apartment, that was Y/N?” He grabbed the mask, analyzing it with his hands.
“Why do you think she came to yours? She knows you have that stupid med bag with the unused suture kit.”
“Is that why she always left?”
“Mhm.” She nodded. “I thought—things were getting better. She was getting close to us again, stopped patrolling some nights because of my brother’s stupid discord calls.”
Ethan was breathless. “What?”
“Look—point is: she didn’t want to put anybody in danger. If I didn’t find out by accident, she never would have told me. She just…cares about you guys too much. She thinks if you know she’s Spider-Woman, you’d be in danger.”
When Ethan came face to face with Spider-Woman in the bodega, it was you. That was your concern, practically radiating off of you in waves. He knew you seemed familiar, somehow. But everybody knew Spider-Woman. He knew you differently. You saved his life.
Everybody was taken aback by the news. But Sam, ever the leader, began. “She’s been protecting us this whole time. All of us. It’s time we have to do the same for her.”
“How?”
“We find her. In any way possible, even if it means we have to track down her entire family, go back to her high school friends, anything we can think of, okay?”
There was no doubt in anyone else’s mind that they were all on board with the plan.
“Let’s do it.”
ONE WEEK LATER
It was the first night in a week that Ethan got proper sleep. The exhaustion finally caught up to his body after countless sleepless nights spent poring over clues on how to find you. He’d been making progress on the Oscorp lead when the last thing he remembered was slumping over at his desk.
Which was why it was weird when he opened his eyes, he saw the ceiling. He was laying down in the comfort of his own bed. Maybe he actually went to bed and didn’t realize it. The sunlight peeking through the curtains was probably a sign to get up, get back on the investigation.
That was until he sat up and saw a figure at his desk, standing over some of the files he sorted.
It took him a second to see it was you. Was he dreaming?
“You’re finally up.” He heard the voice come from you, and saw your mouth move, and as he processed your sweet voice and the teasing lilt to it, he almost fell off his bed jumping out to rush over to you.
He almost knocked you over as his (surprisingly) muscular arms wrapped around you in a quick second, you returning the hug with a smile he could feel on his neck. He was almost speechless. Almost.
Slightly pulling away, he got a good look at you, unharmed, grinning at him with the power of a million suns. He kept his arms around your waist, keeping you close as if he was afraid you’d disappear once more. Nonetheless, he mirrored your expression as he felt your breath on his face and your arms looping around his neck, running your hands through his soft curls.
“You’re…here. You’re actually here.”
Your soft hand came to rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat along with hearing it.
“I’m sorry I left.”
The boy shook his head, “What matters is you came back. You always did.”
“I always will, Ethan.”
YESTERDAY
It was early morning and the feeling of defeat was strong in the room. Everyone was there at your and Quinn’s apartment all with one goal: to find you. They’d started this search almost a week ago with a determination in their eyes akin to a fight for survival, mainly because it kind of was. But as the days went on and the meetings at the house got longer to discuss other possibilities surrounding the circumstances of your disappearance, the metre to measure the disappointment was getting higher.
They all sat at the couch, flipping through the news channels, all talking about how Spider-Woman hasn’t been seen in over a week. It was an alarming wake up call for the city, because crime rates had gone up significantly without the friendly neighbourhood spider watching over the residents of the city that never sleeps.
The news anchors all echoed a similar message. Where is Spider-Woman? Many have theorized that this may be the end of an era—
Sam clicked the red button on the remote, the screen turning to black. “We can’t give up.”
“I didn’t wanna have to, but—“ Tara sighed, “We said if we can’t come up with anything, we’d get the police involved.”
Chad slumped right next to her. “What are we supposed to tell them? Hey, our friend’s been missing for a week and we’re just now reporting it. And FYI, she’s the vigilante who does your job for you.”
“Not like that.”
“But we can’t tell them she’s her, right? If they find her, she’d be arrested.”
“If they find her alive, that is.” Mindy added grimly, looking at the ground.
“Dude, come on.” Her brother tapped her arm.
“I’m just saying.”
“Quinn, Ethan.” Tara refocused the conversation, “Your guys’ dad is a cop, right?”
They looked at each other before nodding.
“Can you talk to him? You don’t have to tell him anything just—find out if anything happened lately, okay? Anything new.”
Anika added, “We’re not even on the week mark. It’s tomorrow. How about we focus on our leads today, then meet again tomorrow. If there’s really nothing, we’ll go to the police, okay?”
“That sounds good.” Ethan agreed.
“Alright,” Sam exhaled. “Dismissed.”
Everyone was sleepless that night. There was the obvious tell of the bags under everyone’s eyes growing bigger, not to mention the slouching and the less than ideal attention span they had lately.
Quinn’s eyes were wide open in the dark of room, wondering and hoping you weren’t dead in some back alley somewhere.
A sound in the living room broke her out of a dazed stupor. It wasn’t too loud, but not subtle, either.
On edge, her hand shot to grab the bat right next to her bed, a gift you’d given her for self defense purposes. She was careful not to make any sound, clearly unlike this moron who was breaking into her house on the middle of the night with heavy steps.
The fridge was open, the door hiding the figure of the person behind it.
She was ready to swing—
You. The figure closed the fridge door and it was you in your suit.
Maybe it was the lack of food that caused you not to notice her presence immediately, but you heard the clacks of the wooden bat hitting the floors before you clocked your roommate fully embracing you in a bear hug.
“Quinn!” You chuckled, returning the embrace. “Missed you too.”
She pulled away abruptly after a second, a stern look on her face but a layer of worry in her eyes. “Where the hell have you been?” She grabbed your shoulders and pushed back a little, looking over your entire body, checking for injuries—but you were clean. Not even a scratch. “Shit, you’re okay.”
“I—“
She hugged you again.
That was when you realized why she reacted like this. “How long have I been gone?”
She looked at you like you were crazy. “You’ve been gone a whole week.”
“Shit. I didn’t leave a note, did I?”
The guilt on your face was apparent, but it was nothing compared to the stress everyone had gone through while you were away.
“You didn’t. All of us have been looking for you—“ Something dawned on her. “I…had to tell them.”
You didn’t react the way she expected. She expected you’d be upset—angry, even, but not this. Not you being the one to hug her this time, taking a deep breath.
During the embrace, you spoke, your voice vibrating on her shoulder as your head rested against it.
“It was so stressful, out there. I have so many things to say. But I’m so tired—I wanna explain everything later.” You sighed, “How’s Ethan?”
“He’s okay. I’ll drive you to his place tomorrow, okay?”
Mindy, Chad, Tara, Anika, and Sam all woke up in their respective apartments to a text message in the group chat.
Quinn
Can we all meet at Chad’s place today? In a few minutes. Urgent!!!
After the conversation yesterday, they all expected the worst. Maybe Quinn had gotten information from her cop dad that Spider-Woman was found dead—they were all thiniing it. Ethan, however, having been up until late, was still sound asleep, phone on silent mode.
They met at the front door of the apartment building (of course, except for Chad, who was in his bedroom staring at the text in worry), Sam looking among the group to reassure them. “Guys,” She sighed. “Maybe if’s not bad news.”
Mindy turned to her. “Really?” She sounded exhausted, almost ready to give up.
“If Quinn had really bad news, she would’ve called us. Probably, right?” Tara backed her sister up.
“Let’s just…go in. She’s probably not even here yet.”
Just then, the sound of a car approaching quickly caught their attention—Quinn’s car.
Tara was at the end of the group, giving her the advantage of seeing first who was in the passenger seat of the car, getting out.
“Y/N!” She yelled.
The rest of them turned, almost running to the middle of the street as you closed the car door, leaving Quinn to find parking. You ran to the sidewalk, running into Tara’s arms.
You could feel the warmth radiating from the group as they welcomed you back with open arms, feeling guilty that you must have made them worry for them to react like this. Knowing some of their history with the murders in Woodsboro, it must’ve been terrifying for them to think they could’ve lost another friend.
It wasn’t long until you felt the missing piece, a hole amongst them that resembled a shape in your heart: Ethan.
“Where’s Ethan?” You tried not to show panic, but it was likely obvious due to Anika immediately reassuring you.
“He’s okay! He’s fine—he’s just sleeping.”
You sighed, relief taking over. “He doesn’t usually sleep in this late.”
“He was up late last night, he said he got a good lead on you. He…” She contemplated for a moment, not wanting to worry you. “He took it pretty hard when you dropped off.”
Tara almost slapped her arm. “Yeah,” she looked to you, watching carefully for any signs of panic. “He was worried. Probably more than any of us. But you can wake him up.”
“Do you…Can you tell us what happened? Where were you?” Mindy was reluctant to ask in case it was difficult for you.
But you were happy to tell them—you figured you owed them that much after having them think you were dead for a week. “I’ll tell you inside, come on.”
Pizza and drinks were being passed around, everyone was here, and you chose to sit right beside Ethan. He couldn’t stop looking at you. You could feel it.
As you animatedly told the story of meeting other people who also had spider powers, had similar stories, Ethan then began to wonder what would be next. Would you stay? What if you wanted to go back there, be with people who really, truly understand you?
By the end of the night, the group was preparing for the sleepover. But you could tell something was troubling Ethan. You studied him from the couch while the crew was gathering pillows, and he caught your eye and said, “Wanna go to the rooftop?”
You tilted your head on instinct, confused.
“You know…good air.” He shrugged.
“Sure.”
The walk up was silent. Maybe more than silent, if that were even possible.
As he opened the door to the rooftop, you made eye contact for half a second. And in that half second, Ethan decided he won’t lose you. In that half second, you looked away, then looked up again—and he gently grabbed your wrist, pulling you close enough that you felt his breath on mingling with yours, so close that you thought he was going to kiss you. But he began to speak.
“Can I—”
And you kissed him.
It was a small one, but when you tilted your head to lean in closer and tangled your hands behind his neck—Christ.
You pulled away abruptly and he wondered if he had done something wrong. At the same time he said “Holy shit,” you asked, “Wait, that’s what you were going to ask, right?”
Once his brain recovered, he finally nodded, “Yeah. You beat me to it.”
After a pause, he began again. “Does this mean you won’t leave?”
“Leave? Who said that?”
“Well, I just thought—”
“You’re an idiot, Ethan Landry. Come here.”
Additional Author’s Note: I apologize that Ethan and Reader do not have as many moments in this. Thank you for understanding. Again, if there’s enough interest, here’s a list of fic titles I’d be able to post wips of (keep in mind these are unfinished, you’re allowed to write continuations but my one wish before leaving this site is that my work is not fed into any kind of AI and that includes character ai):
blackout (2k)
dialogue (2k ish)
the dress (900)
rain (1k)
story beats for murder party part 2 (3.2k, jot notes)
reflections (2k)
the bear au (500 ish)
thief (800)
like a fool, im thinking of you (500)
avatar:
hard to love (2k, lo’ak)
sorry for any mistakes i didnt catch during editing !
65 notes · View notes
bravrdm · 1 year
Text
I’ve been feeling very dark lately so here’s an interesting idea I had…
Azriel would do anything for his sweet little human wife.
He would kill anyone for his sweet little human wife.
Including the annoying fucking men who gamble and drink outside of your apartment at 2 am.
You slammed your book closed In anger, and adjusted your bonnet. absolutely fuming at the group of idiots who have been showing up in front of your apartment complex almost every night for the past month now.
They do absolutely nothing but drink,gamble,and scream at the top of their lungs.
It didn’t help that the past few weeks you kept waking up with your bonnet and headscarf halfway across the bed trying to escape in the middle of the night.
You complained yet again to your husband. The poor shadowsinger hated seeing you upset. He hated that after a long day of stressing you couldn’t even relax and finish your book.
“I’m sorry pet.” Azriel looked offer to his beautiful wife admiring he dark skin and drinking in her beauty.
You sighed, and clinched your hands tightly all the way to the bedroom. Something told Azriel that his response wasn’t sufficient enough to settle your nerves.
So after you finally drifted to sleep Azriel snuck his way out of the apartment and waltzed his way down the stairs stopping in-front of the gaggle of men throwing their fists around and chugging their liquor.
Azriel is always a gentleman when it comes to affairs involving his wife. He knew If he jumped straight to murder you would feel guilty once you found out.
He would hide it from you for as long as he could but you would find out eventually.You always do.
So after sauntering up to the gang of rowdy men he politely asked if they would quiet down.
Well, he asked as politely as he could be.
“Im guessing you are all aware of the time”
The group of men all turned to you husband, displeased to be interrupted.
“You know maybe if you put all this energy into getting a fucking job you all would actually have someplace to be instead of disturbing everyone else’s peace.”
The men were not pleased by his suggestion.
They approached Azriel at once prepared to fight for their rights to disturb the peace.
Azriel only cared about his wife’s peace and the look on you face as you stomped into the bedroom upset and unsatisfied with his empty apology.
That’s the only thing he cared about : pleasing you.
There was a philosopher who once said that going to be angry wasn’t good for your health.
It probably wasn’t good for your marriage either.
So he didn’t mind doing things like this.
For you he didn’t mind going out of his way even if it meant he would suffer for it.
Just like he didn’t mind killing the entire group of males in less than a few moments.
He didn’t mind chasing after one of the males that tried to get away either.
He certainly didn’t mind cleaning up the carnage that was left behind after the massacre.
And as he fished cleaning and soon climbed into bed after you, a strong sense of satisfaction filled his heart knowing his mate would never have to go to bed angry again.
Sorry if this shit was ass it’s been a while since I’ve written.
180 notes · View notes
crystaltoa · 1 month
Text
So
I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia last week. It explains a lot about the way I’ve been feeling lately. I’m on a gradual return to work schedule of three half days per week, and I intend to give it my best shot..but…
So far it really just sucks.
I’m absolutely wiped out after three hours of teaching and it’s a good 24 hours afterwards before I even feel up to making a phone call or leaving the house to walk the dog. And forget doing the fucking dishes or cooking a decent meal. i can throw something premade into the microwave or oven and splash some dressing on some mixed lettuce and that’s it.
I can work three half days per week at the expense of literally everything else in my life, including hobbies and recreation and interacting with my friends. i don’t even wanna watch tv or listen to audiobooks.
When people try to comfort me, they tell me that things will improve. That this will become more manageable, even if i won’t exactly recover from it.
But I would actually find it more comforting if someone could tell me, with convincing evidence, that actually, I would be okay even if my health stayed the same as it is now. That there would be some relief, some way that I wouldn’t be forced to work a job that has gone from ‘ok but challenging’ to ‘debilitating and miserable’, some guarantee of a roof over my head and a reliable income without utterly destroying myself. But the more I look at Australia’s various disability support services, the less hope I have that I’d be considered eligible for anything.
There’s very much a black and white ‘can do this,’ ‘can’t do that’ approach to recognising disability. If I literally could not work, I could probably get a pension. But I can work, a bit. At a great cost. I can work but it makes my life seem barely worth living. ( I don’t particularly mean that in like a suicidal way, but just. It sucks, ya know? It sucks so bad.) There doesn’t seem to be much space for accommodating that, long-term.
Honestly, if I had income and housing sorted out, this would seem manageable, even if I never improved at all. I could get by on needing to rest more and take pain meds, and I would probably have enough time and energy to do the things I needed/wantedto do if I wasn’t spending it all on work. The prospect of having a permanent disability itself doesn’t scare me, it’s the fear of being trapped in an unforgiving system being bled dry with no relief in sight that horrifies me.
I’m lucky that I have family who would put me up if I made the choice not to work anymore. So I am grateful for that. But it does come at the cost of my independence and freedom, and comes with its own set of stresses, so it’s also not an ideal option.
I don’t really have a big point to make here. I just… yeah. That’s where I’m at right now. I haven’t felt like doing anything creative or fun since I went back to work. And I probably won’t again for a while. If I’m not responding to messages, or seem kind of flat and detached in my interactions with you… I’m sorry and I want you to know it’s not personal. i’m just a little fucked up right now is all.
I appreciate the community and friends I have here, so much. I want you all to know that, even if I’m less present here in the coming months. Love,
CT.
22 notes · View notes
cynosureness · 3 months
Text
Summer Strikes
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing; sunwoo x fem!reader
genre; first meeting, strangers to lovers
summary; To get more into the small town you moved into, you go into a library and meet someone that might change your life forever.
a/n; This is kinda like a mix of scenes from summer strike into one, changing it up. I’ve been obsessed with that drama lately but I was disappointed due to the lack of romance, so I decided to write my own version. This is probably nothing like sunwoo but I TRIED!!!!!! 😞
Word count; 884 words : )
Tumblr media
March 6th, it’s the blooming of the blossoms in Angok, South Korea. A idyllic town, full of surprises and seasonal flowers. Your previous life was challenging because of your job, and your relationships were never working out. As a result, you’ve moved here to become more joyous and live independently.
You were approached with a stunning library. Out of everything, you’ve always enjoyed reading books, because it gave you a path and opportunity to space out from life and into a world of peace. As you walk into the library, you get an immediate sense of comfort. Feeling excited, you go ahead up to the counter.
“Hello, I’m new here, and I want to apply for a membership today.” You say as you awkwardly lean over the desk waiting for the woman’s response. She looks up for a minute then goes back to her computer.
“Name?” She replies, sounding a little bit like she hates her life and wants to die.
“Y/N.”
“Smile for this picture, Y/N.” she says as she suddenly snaps a picture for the card. You were caught off guard, meaning you had a sudden expression on your face.
“This card will take a while to be registered, but for now I’ll let you read and explore.” She waves with a passive-aggressive expression.
“Oh-uh, alright then.” You softly wave back , and walk away towards a table. “Hmm.” You pat the table and get up. Heading towards a random aisle in many rows of books.
“Uhm, miss? Do you mind recommending me a book?” You ask, as you see a lady with slightly long hair standing at the end of the aisle. But instead of her saying anything, the woman turns around. But they were in fact not a woman at all. They were a he, a boy. A very— nice looking guy.
“Oh, uhm, I’m so sorry!” You say, immediately apologizing over and over again, and starting to leave. But something in you didn’t want you to leave. You couldn’t move like your feet were stuck with glue on the ground.
The boy tilts his head slightly. “Oh, uh, it’s okay. Haha..” he says, fixing his hair as it previously flowed to the left. “Well did you ask for book recommendations? I know a lot. Well actually everything considering I work here—but anyway I can recommend you some!” He said that quite enthusiastically, as if he’d been waiting his entire life for somebody to ask that question.
The sun radiantly beamed on him, proving his tan skin. Something about his energy made him seem like the sun himself. A million thoughts were going on in your head at once. Like, “Should I say yes? Should I just walk away? Should I ask if he has a girlfrie- wait no, that’s too straightforward.”
He stands there with a friendly expression, quietly waiting on your response. That’s when you realize a few seconds have gone by while you were thinking, and that it’s time to rev up an answer.
“Oh yeah, that’s fine, please do!” You say swinging your arms slightly by your hips. “Are you a new member?” He asks, leading you to another aisle. “Oh yeah I am. I just literally got a registration. The names Y/N.” You say. You’re not sure why you even mentioned your name, you don’t even know what to do around such a handsome guy in the first place.
“My names Kim Sunwoo. We’ll be seeing each other a lot now from now on.” He says. You both suddenly stop after going down 3 aisles. He picks up the book off the shelf and reads it. “It happed on summer, by Tessa Bailey. This is a very nice book, and it really reminds me of this town, Angok.” He hands you the book with a cute smile. “Thank you, I’ll take care of it well, Mr. Kim!” You say as you take the book from his hands.
He smiles, and his smile is really cute. Almost like…a tiger? No, no. A raccoon, maybe? “Hey, has anyone ever said you looked like a raccoon?” You say suddenly, maybe because you wanted to keep talking to him. Your heart was pounding as you realized how close you were to him.
He blinks slowly. “Well, uh, no. Not really.” He scratches the back of his head. “But I’ll appreciate what you said, as if that was supposed to be a compliment?” He questioned. “O-oh yeah it definitely is one!”You say out of nervousness.
It’s silent for a bit, as you two are both thinking about but can say anything due to being introverted. “Well then I’ll see you lat-“ you say at the same time as he asks you a question.
“Wait, what was it that you were going to say?” Your eyes twinkling. He hesitated while looking around. “Uhm, I need your number so we can stay in contact—Like, if a book gets broken or anything, you know.”
“Oh yeah!” You say while putting your hand in your purse to retrieve your phone. Here it is! You open up your phone to the phone app and allow him to put in his number.
Rather than being something like library concerns, it seemed more as a way to see each other more often than just at the library.
24 notes · View notes
sentientgolfball · 1 year
Note
Hello! Sorry to do this on anon 😅 I had a fic request!! I’ve been going through a really really rough time recently and all I’ve been needing is a Mountain/GN!Reader/Rain comfort fic with a reader with chronic pain 🥺 I appreciate you reading and, no matter what, thank you for your time!!
aw I am very sorry to hear that :(( I hope this can make you feel just a lil bit better <3
Enjoy some soft Mountain and Rain
My requests are open !
You crack open your eyes and immediately know what kind of day it’s going to be. You can feel the chill of the room on your face. You can hear the rain pouring down outside. You can feel the deep ache of your joints and you haven’t even moved yet. You thought maybe if you just laid in bed a little bit longer then the pain would go away, that you were just sore from sleeping in a weird position. When the pain persists you completely flipped your thinking, maybe you actually needed to get up and stretch. Yea that was definitely it. You sit up and quickly realize that was a mistake. It feels like there are a million tiny shards of glass trying to worm their way into your brain. 
You clutch your head and groan, screwing your eyes shut at the pain. You lay back down and bury your head under the pillows. You breathe deeply through your nose waiting for the pain to dull down. While you wait you do the only thing you can. You get upset. At everything. You curse the summer for dying away into autumn. You hate the feeling of the cold seeping deep within your body. You hate the rain for deciding to come now that the warm weather is over. You curse your body for reacting this way. You hate that you can’t enjoy the changing of the season because with every change in temperature comes days like these. Days where it’s too hard for you to move, to think, to just be able to function. 
A sharp throb pulses through your whole body and you whine realizing you definitely weren’t going to be able to work today. You blindly reach for your phone, not even bothering to remove your head from the pillows. You look at the screen when you grab it and it hurts. You quickly text the head librarian your situation and throw your phone back on your nightstand not even bothering to wait for a response. The longer you looked at the screen the more sick you felt. 
You laid like that for hours. You didn’t have the energy to even attempt to get up and do anything that might help with the ache. There were a couple times you tried to move when the ache seemed to die down, but doing so only made it flare right back up. So you stayed there with your head buried under pillows barely able to think. And then you heard your phone buzz. You ignored it the first time, but then it kept going off. You were starting to get annoyed at the noise. You reached up and grabbed it with the intent to put it on do not disturb. That was until you saw who was blowing up your phone. It was Rain. 
Did you stay up too late lol you weren’t here to greet me
Decided to skip work? Can’t blame you it’s nice outside
Are you alive?
…No seriously I’m worried are you ok? 
You wanted to reply but just as you tapped on the messages your head exploded in a thumping ache. You cursed and threw your phone day willing to settle just long enough to type a coherent sentence back to the water ghoul. You crack your eyes open when you feel your phone buzz again. 
I’m on my way. 
You slump back down and groan. You hated making him worry. You hated making any of the Siblings or ghouls worry. You wanted so badly to be able to just push all the pain away and get through your day with a smile. But the logical side of you screamed and begged to let them help you, let them worry and care for you. 
That side ended up winning when you heard a soft knock at your door. You mumbled a half hearted ‘come in’ and hissed when the light were turned on. 
“Shit sorry.” You heard Rain say before the lights were flicked off once more. 
You hear him walk over before the mattress dips with his added weight. You feel his hand start to rub firm but soothing circles into your back.
“Bad day?” 
“You have no idea.” 
“Have you eaten?”
You shake your head
“Drank?” 
You shake your head 
“Moved at all?” 
You shake your head 
He sighs and there's a moment of silence as he pulls out his phone and quickly types something. When he’s done he sits it on the nightstand next to yours before standing. He carefully removes the pillow from your head and peels the blankets off of you. He gently hooks his arms under you and picks you up with ease holding you close to him. He carries you to the bathroom and puts you down on the edge of the tub. He makes sure you're stable enough before pulling away and gently placing a kiss on your forehead. 
He quickly lights a few non-scented candles before gathering various soaps and other care products. He begins to fill the tub adding a few cups of bath salts to the water. You can already feel the heat coming off the water as Rain crouches in front of you. He slowly brings his hands to the bottom of your shirt and waits for your permission. You run a hand through his hair and nod. He smiles affectionately at you as he carefully undresses you and then himself. 
He dips into the tub first, settling back against the tile before gently pulling you in with him. You sigh heavily, feeling the hot water envelop you as you lean against Rain’s chest. You sit heavily against him putting all your weight on him as he begins to slowly massage your shoulders, working his way down your arms. You feel his tail squeeze around one of your legs and the pressure feels amazing. 
After a while of just sitting there, letting the water cradle you as Rain works his hands over every joint, he eventually scoops some water to pour over your hair. He gently runs his claws against your scalp when he’s satisfied before grabbing your favorite shampoo and lathering it into your hair. You hum in gratitude as he works his hands through, being sure to rub some gentle circles against your temples. When he’s finished he once again scoops some water into his hands to rinse the soap out. 
As he’s doing this you hear a knock on the bathroom door. 
“Right on time.” Rain says repositioning you so he can hop out of the bath. 
You watch bleary eyed as he wraps a towel around his waist and cracks open the door. He whispers something you can’t make out and nods his head with a slight smile. When he turns around after closing the door he has some clothes. One bundle is lounge wear you’ve seen the water ghoul wear hundreds of times, but the other is a massive sweatshirt and an extra pair of Rain’s sweatpants. Rain sets them down on the counter before walking over to the bath and hoisting you up. 
“Mountains waiting for us” he whispers and presses a kiss to your cheek “he brought something special for you.” 
You allow Rain to dry you off before you get dressed in the clothes brought for you. Moutain’s sweater and Rain’s sweatpants. When you’re ready he takes your hand and walks with you back to your bedroom. You’re greeted to the sight of Mounatin sitting on your bed smiling softly. There’s a tray on your nightstand with three mugs, steam rolling off of them. You can smell the herbaceous scent from where you stand. You notice there’s an added blanket on your bed and you nearly cry when you realize it’s heated. 
You practically slump against the earth ghoul who carefully pulls you against him as he leans back and against the headboard. He pulls the blanket over you as Rain hands you and Mountain your respective mugs. He takes his own before walking around to the other side of the bed to get under the covers. He slides in right next to Mountain who pulls him closer to you two, wrapping a massive arm around his shoulders. 
You take a sip of the tea and practically moan at the taste. Mountain chuckles and takes a sip from his own mug. 
“Like it? It’s a new blend I’m testing. Rain said it helped him so I thought you’d want some.” 
“It’s perfect Mounty.” You hum taking another long drink. 
When you finish Mountain takes the empty mug from you and lays off to the side. He holds you close to him letting the pressure of his arms wrap around you. The combination of the tea, the heated blanket, and two ghouls happily purring away make your eyes feel heavy. 
“Tired?” Rain says snuggling in closer, giving you a few soft kisses before nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. 
You nod, pulling Mountain’s arm tighter around you, resting your head on his chest. He kisses the top of your head. 
“Go to sleep, wildflower. Rain and I will stay as long as you need us.” 
You and mutter an incoherent form of ‘thank you’ before closing your eyes. The two ghouls laugh and twine their tails together, resting them on top of you. 
“Sleep well.”
“We’ll be right here whenever you need us.” 
97 notes · View notes
yourlocalartsonist · 1 year
Text
ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Eight
A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OH MY GOD. I genuinely didn’t expect it to, chapter 8 was supposed to be way shorter but uh yk my brain didn’t like that apparatnly. So now it’s uh 10K words. I think it’s genuinely worth the wait and read tho so hey, alls well that ends well or something. I’m gonna try to be faster with updates now. I’m FAIRLY CERTAIN chapter nine will be much shorter or at least nothing crazy like 8 or 10k. But what I can guarantee is chapters 10-13 will most definitely be short and lead up to the grand arc finale of chapter 14. We’re getting pretty close to it and I’m literally vibrating from excitement but no spoilers. Anyway enjoy the chapter! :D
Credit to: @sweaterrat and @yosajaeofficial for being my beloved beta readers! This story wouldn’t be able to have the quality it does without them so please give them some love and check out their ROTTMNT stories too!
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One
Disclaimer: Chapter involves depressive thoughts, mentions of bullying, depressed behavior, mentions of Kr*ng, PTSD behavior, violence, very lightly graphic description of injuries, blood, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Outside the window, you can make out a bird’s nest sat in one of the trees. It’s been here for a week now, perfectly timed with when I got back to a consistent school life. But lately, the mother’s been staying at the nest more often. I’m guessing they’ve got babies on the way, she’s probably incubating her eggs right now. I think I’ve gotten attached to them, that small family of robins. The parents are so dedicated, aren’t they? The mother especially, never leaving the nest unless absolutely necessary. 
On the contrary to my peaceful view, the classroom is noisy, hectic, and cluttered. No real science work for today so everyone’s just doing their own thing. Very loudly. Jaiden and Zane are chatting and laughing with each other next to me. I think things are better between us, I still don’t really know where Jaiden and I stand right now but at least Zane seems fine with me. Though I won’t lie, I’ve been feeling more and more like a third wheel around them. 
“Dude! I’m telling you, we have to play this game together! We’d have so much fun!” 
“I already said I would, Jaiden! Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh like this. Shame you’re letting such a pretty smile go to waste.”
“Yeah? Let’s hang out more often then and maybe I won’t do that.”  
Like right now.
Lowkey, I’ve been feeling invisible around those two. Jaiden barely pays any attention to me, it’s as if Zane was their best friend instead of me! I mean, I know friends can drift apart, I definitely know. But still, I never imagined it would happen to us. I still don’t wanna believe that’s what’s happening. I wanna keep hope.
“And ironically, you’re being pretty quiet today, Salena. Did you two switch personalities or something?” 
“You are weirdly quiet, actually. What’s up?”
Oh lookie, I’ve been acknowledged. “Nah, you guys don’t have to worry about me. Just lower on energy than usual.” 
I went back to my routine of staring out the window like the main character in a music video. In the reflection, Zane was still watching me. With the way his eyes lingered, I had a feeling he’s not falling for my excuse. 
Seems like Jaiden’s not too worried, though. “Oh, Zane! You wanna hear about this new skate park I found?” Just went right back at it with Zane. Who’s weirdly still staring at me.
“…Actually, I’m kinda hungry. Jaiden, you mind getting me a snack from the vending machine?”
“Huh? But I wouldn’t know what to get you. N-not that I don’t pay attention to what you like! But, you know… Salena has better taste in these things! She should go-”
“She always goes.”
“‘Cause she knows what she’s doing.”
“Jaiden.”
“Guys, it’s fine! It’s fine. I’ve got this.” I didn’t want them to fight again so I got up from my seat. “Be back soon.”
Jaiden gave me their most gleeful smile I’ve seen them make in a while. I think seeing them smile makes this gesture worthwhile. Even if it’s just for a little bit.
The walk to the vending machine shouldn’t have been long, it’s not super far away. But my legs dragged on forcing each step to be slower than the last. I feel guilty thinking like this but a part of me wants this dumb walk to go on forever. I can’t stand being near them and I don’t know why! It’s not like we’ve got bad blood, they’ve both been normal towards me since I came back. So why am I acting like this? I’m seriously starting to doubt Splinter’s theory of me not being the problem here…
I approached the machine, stopping as I heard a struggling voice in front of me. 
“Argh! How’d she say these things worked again?” 
His finger pressed against the glass, tracing the code for the snack he wanted. He tapped the buttons on the screen. Nothing happened. Scratching his head, he leaned forward to read the next instructions. Finally, he pulled out a dollar bill.
…Before proceeding to insert it in the wrong way. And taking it out. And inserting it back in. And repeating the process. I can feel my soul exiting my body from second-hand embarrassment. 
I recognized the fluffy black hair. With a crooked smile, I pulled out my own wallet.
“You’re supposed to put it in this way.” I slid my bill into the slot, the granola bar he selected successfully being pushed down soon after. “Good to see you again.”
“Woah, cool!” He stared at the giant food box almost with a childlike wonder, pausing for a few minutes before turning to me. “And hey! Yeah, it’s really nice seeing you again, too.” His eyes remained locked for a while before he scrambled to hand me the bill he had. “Here! Let me pay you back-“
“No, no, no, don’t worry about it! Really! Consider it my apology for, um, last time.” 
“Apology? I mean, you weren’t the one doing anything weird so I don’t think you’ve gotta apologize.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Casey Jones Jr. I was gonna introduce myself the first time we met but, you know.”
“Salena Moni! So, how’s everything holding up? You joined pretty late in the year so if you need any help reviewing stuff I’m more than happy to.”
 
“Oh, don’t worry! It’s actually going alright. Still technically my first time going to a real school, so it’s a little bit of a challenge but I already knew most of the material anyways. I didn’t have to catch up on much.”  
“Wow, that is… remarkably impressive.” If only I handled transferring as well as this guy. “Wait, hold up, real school? Were you homeschooled?”
“You could… say that. My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew! Just turns out it was literally everything.”
“Cool! I guess we can check grades off the box, then! So, is everyone being nice? Made any friends?”
I bit my lip as I received my answer in the form of his face freezing mid-speech. “W-well uh…”
Oh, you poor thing…
I guess he could read my face since he immediately tried reassuring me, as if he wasn’t the victim in this scenario. “I-I mean it’s not awful! A couple people were nice to me, including you! Sure, some are a little… hostile. But it’ll get better eventually.” 
“Y-yeah! It definitely… definitely will.”
And cue the classic awkward silence that stars in any first conversation. A little overdue for this one now that I’m thinking about it. 
I’m so conflicted. I know damn well he’s not gonna have the high school dream he’s probably imagining right now. No one does. I may not have been at this school for long, but I’ve been here long enough to know how the people are. April told me it gets even worse every year as cliques start getting established and people grow past the initial politeness. I’m glad she did, she never kept anything about high school from me no matter how bad it was. Nothing was in my control but at least I knew it was coming.
And here I am playing the exact opposite role for Casey. I hate giving people false hope, I hate it with a passion! But I’m supposed to, I think. In a situation like this I’m supposed to hype him up. Ignorance is bliss! Wouldn’t it just ruin his spirits if I broke the glass? 
“Anyway, it was nice to meet you! I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Y-yep! Hope things get better for you soon!” 
“Me too.”
Ugh, the guilt is eating me up! I’m acting like I’ve never told a lie in my life but it’s not that. It’s his pure mindset that’s completely fucking with my morality! 
I know to keep my mouth shut, I do. I don’t want him to hate me like everyone else does. I haven’t met someone who’s been so nice to me in this stupid ass school before, I don’t want to ruin this chance now that I finally got it. Plus, he might not even believe me…
I watched him turn to walk away. 
Fuck it, social norms are for losers!
“W-wait! Casey?” He turned back around and I nearly shit myself from fear. “So, don’t be mad but I may have um… lied about something?” 
“Uh, sorry?”
I took a deep breath, bracing myself. “Well, here’s the deal. Things aren’t really gonna get better, sorry. Or, actually! I don’t mean that extremely literally, I guess...” 
Focus on your hands, it’ll be okay. “Just… People here are mean. Really, really mean. You’re homeschooled, you’re new, and you’re nice. It’s a recipe for disaster here whether it’s today or even a year after you’ve settled in!”
I can’t even read his expression and get an idea of his reaction. He’s got a scary good poker face, I’m curious which relative taught him that one.
“Casey, please don’t take this the wrong way. I-I’m not saying any of it is your fault! Or that you need to change or do anything. I’m only saying this so you don’t have any… unrealistic expectations so to speak.” 
God, his silence is more terrifying than anticipated.
So much so I couldn’t help letting out a quiet breath of relief when he finally did speak. “You know, you’re the first person here who’s told me that.”
“…Is that bad?”
“Not at all. All my family, they never got the chance to go to school. Hell, I didn’t think I’d have the opportunity. But here I am! First time in a new building with weird people and absolutely no clue what to expect. I’m usually good with surprises but this one is just so… different. Different is scary, you know?” 
I nodded. I most definitely did know.
“Anyway, you’re right that people are just mean here. I don’t even know why, I mean, I’ve met my fair share of dicks before but at least they had good reasons! We were under so much stress… But that’s not what I hate. It’s the fact that any time I tell an adult, they say the same thing over and over again!” 
“Let me guess.” I cleared my throat and enhanced the performance with my intoxicated Mrs. Doubtfire voice. “Just ignore them and give it time and it’ll magically fix itself ‘cause boredom beats bullies or some shit, right?”
“Yeah, exactly!” His laugh is like holding your parent’s hand when you’re getting the flu shot, it’s magical! “They say that to everyone, don’t they? God, what’s up with that? I’m so not used to adults lying to me.”
“Dude, what? You’re kidding, your whole community’s gotta be amazing if you’ve never been lied to by an adult.” 
“Eh, more or less… Anyway, um, thank you. For telling me the truth. And the granola bar. I seriously owe you for this.”
…I take it back, Splinter might’ve actually been onto something.
I mean, he’s a little strange, I won’t lie about that. This is the first time I’ve heard someone actually be grateful for me telling the truth. In the past it either got me isolated or in huge trouble, depending on who I was honest with. Maybe this is why I’m so used to lying. I hate it but I’ve had to do it so much. I’ve never met someone who finally lets me relax about it, not until Casey Jr it seems.
Maybe he deserves me being a little braver for a change. 
“Well, here’s a way you can repay me. By us being friends!”
This was a lot more epic in my head without his speechless pause. Maybe I got the vibe wrong-
“REALLY!? OMIGOSH! That would be so cool! I’ve literally been thinking about asking you the same thing ‘cause I keep wanting to talk to you but never run into you but now we can talk whenever we want, IT’LL BE GREAT!!!” Spoke too soon, he is literally shaking me by the shoulders. It feels unnatural not being on the other side of this scenario. 
“Casey, my stomach doesn’t approve of this-“
“Sorry, sorry!” He finally stopped and allowed me to remember the pleasant feeling of absolute stillness. “I just can’t believe you actually wanna be friends with me!” 
Still, his surprising enthusiasm gave me a good laugh. “Dude, it’s alright! It’s kinda more surprising you wanna be friends with me.”  
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met in my entire life, anyone who’s friends with you is lucky to have you!” 
Lucky to have me?
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, unexpected compliments go burn in a fire but also don’t leave, it actually feels really nice. 
“Salena, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”
“N-no, I mean, all I did was buy you a snack and tell you people are jerks. I’m not too sure I should be receiving the title of the ‘kindest person you’ve ever met’ and stuff.”
“O-oh yeah, you have a point.” He got a little flustered at that, despite it really being my fault for not being able to take compliments. “I don’t know, I mean, I still think you’re really cool. I’m just so happy you wanna be friends with me!” 
He looked like a child on Christmas morning as I tippy-tapped my number into his phone. Come to think of it, I know I’ve definitely reacted excitedly towards certain people - or turtles, I should say - but having someone do it to me? Feels kinda nice.
I looked up at the clock. “Shit. We should probably head back to class before we get in trouble.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. But hey,” his eyes closed as the corners delightfully wrinkled “it was great running into you again! Fate really wants us to be friends.”
He has a really nice smile. 
“Funny how life works, ay?”
I skipped my way back to class, mind too deep in thought to realize how fast I went.
This guy, Casey Jones, he’s giving me certain vibes. I don’t mean the creepy, stalkerish, "I need to get the hell outta here” vibes. More like deja-vu. I can’t pin what exactly, but something about him feels so… foreign yet familiar. Homey, if you may. Like a nice, warm fire in mid-winter night. It’s really soothing. 
And immediately I’m thrown into emotional whiplash as I went back inside the annoying ass classroom of teenage chaos. So much for soothing vibes. I plopped back in my desk as Zane slowly scanned me.
“You took a while. Did you get my snack?…”
…Fuck. “Sorry! I completely forgot!”
“How did you forget when it’s the literal reason you even left?” Jaiden doesn’t seem as chipper as before.
“I know, I’m so sorry. I got a bit distracted. Gimmie a sec, I’ll be right back-”
“No, wait! It’s fine, I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Really? Okay, suit yourself.” I shrugged, getting settled in again. He leaned closer to me, both confused and concerned.
“You seem happier right now. Did something good happen?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess! Just ran into a new friend.”
His face scrunched up, going back to chatting with Jaiden. I have no clue why he glared when I said that, I don’t think I said anything wrong or alarming. Honestly, bro has worse mood swings than I do. It's seriously annoying sometimes but whatever, they’ve gone back to their little bubble now so I shall go back to mine.
I pulled out my phone, greeted with Casey’s excited text already.
CJ: Hey! Not really doing anything in class so if you’re free too, text me back :D
Smiling, I let myself get engrossed in my phone, happily typing away. He’s a fun guy to talk to. His enthusiasm and bubbliness is a little surprising considering how borderline timid he seemed at first. Goes to show, never judge a book by its cover! I felt my mood lifting, less gloomier than before.
Until I remembered something he said.
“My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew!”
Was?...
***
Ah, midnight. A time when the mentally sane and emotionally stable would be sleeping. Turns out I’m neither of those folks, I’ve got better things to do. I have weapons now but I’ve gotta actually practice using them if I don’t wanna render them useless. Besides, in bed or out here, I’m not falling asleep either way. At least this serves as a good distraction! And won’t give me a headache like my phone will.
The blades cut through the air as I twirled them, striking at an imaginary enemy soon after. 
I try not to think about life when I’m training, it distracts me too much. Sometimes I feel like Casey’s the only thing making school bearable anymore. We don’t share any classes so we text more than talk but I don’t have to do any mental gymnastics to figure out how he views me. I’m still confused as hell if Jaiden likes me or hates me and have no damn clue what Zane’s deal is anymore. He keeps staring at me. More than usual. Sure, I could always sit there and ponder for hours on end what the fuck is going on, but I doubt even that’d get any results.
The sickles, however, do show results. They feel lighter, smoother, easier to duel. I’m getting faster with them and my arms don’t feel as broken after training anymore! It’s something I can lose myself in, track the improvement. It’s so much simpler than everything else.
It keeps my mind occupied. If I focus on them, I don’t think about anyone from school or anything bad that’s happening! Or at least, I usually don't. I guess I’m thinking about it now, though…
“Someone’s training hard.”
“AHH!!!”
Immediately I jerked to turn and held up a blade in defense. However, it turned out to be a false alarm as instead of some midnight mugger I expected to see, I’m greeted with a smirking blue idiot standing in front of me.
“Woah, hey! I come in peace!” The stupid bitch held his hands up, mocking me with his fake fear. “Been a while, huh?” 
“Leo? Oh god, you scared me! Where did you even come from?” 
“The better question would be: Where did you disappear to? We haven’t gone out in like a week! You kept leaving me on read when I texted you but seemed fine in the group chat. What gives?” 
“…I forgor?”
“Really?” I could tell he wasn’t satisfied by my answer. “You just forgot to respond to me? Every single time?”
“W-well sorta. I mean, it’s nothing you did so please don’t take it personally! It’s with everyone. I’ve just been a little bad at responding to dms…” My social battery’s been so low lately I question if it’s even charged at all. “That’s entirely on me, though! I’m so sorry.”
He crossed his arms and looked me up and down. He’s doing that nonchalant poker face again, the one he does when he doesn’t wanna be read, otherwise he’s an open book. 
“You know you can tell me if something’s up, right?”
I guess he also does that face when he’s trying to read someone else. “Yeah, I know. I’m alright. It’s just… I dunno, things are a little weird but it’s fine. It’s really nothing to worry about.”
He hummed in response. I don’t really think he bought it but his eyes eventually drifted to my weapons, dropping the topic regardless. He must not wanna push it.
“Sooo, sick weapons! Where’d you get ‘em?”
“Oh, these? Draxum gave them to me!”
He gagged, interrupting me. “You met Draxum? The sheep guy? Oh, poor you! Was he awful to deal with? I bet he was! You know, like always.” 
“Oh come on, he wasn’t that bad! A little grouchy at first but in his defense, I caught him in the middle of his shift, so.”
“Please, sheep bitch doesn’t need a reason to be a jerk! He’s just an old cranky loser who spends his days yelling at kids and smuggling whatever mystic bullshit of the week he found from the Hidden City! It’s giving Oscar the Grouch, just missing the lemon. Oh wait, that’s ‘cause unlike Oscar, he doesn’t even have one single thing that makes him uncharacteristically happy!” 
“Wow, angry aren’t we?” It’s rude to laugh, but I can’t help myself around this dork. He looks like a kid who got denied an Xbox when he crosses his arms like that. “Leo, be real. This is because he threw you off a roof, isn’t it?”
“You know!? I mean-“ He laughed, trying to hide his poorly made lie. “What? Of course not… Maybe just a little but that’s not important.” 
Leo grumbled on with some incoherent noises for a minute, before cooling down and moving on from the “sheep bitch”. 
“Ugh, well anyway, if you got it from that moron, they’re definitely mystic or something, right?”
“Oh, absolutely! They’re actually super cool, I mean-“ For a good five minutes I kept blabbering on and on about the sickles and how they function and all my progress that I didn’t notice Leo - bless his heart - trying and horrifically failing to pay attention. He doesn’t really hide it well when he spaces out.
“And they- Uh, Leo, you good?” 
“…Would you be mad if I said I got like, none of that?” 
I sighed but gave a gentle smile. I knew he had a short attention span so I can’t really act like it’s his fault I forgot about that. 
“Actually, do you want me to just like… act it out instead? I think I’ve gotten pretty good at using these so I don’t mind showing instead of telling!”
He shrugged “Nothin’s stopping you. Go on, impress me!” 
Well, nothing except my nerves. But hey, it’s just Leo. If I mess up, he’ll laugh with me a bit and then I’ll just retry. No real pressure around him. I could use a progress check right now, anyway.
“Aight, so we only know two out of who knows how many powers for these things, they’re the only two I’ve been practicing. First up!”
 
I spun them around, careful to not mess up my handling. My goal is to form blades strong enough to crack a dent through the concrete edge of this building. So the sickles need to be made out of metal or steel. I usually go with metal but I do actually wanna impress him and steel’s stronger. I aimed at the edge and swung my arm forward, the sickle shot through the air and sliced through the concrete like a knife to a cake.
“OH SHIT!”
“I got it!” He teleported to catch the flying solo sickle and came right back within a matter of seconds. Oh, what I’d give to experience never having to walk again. 
“Sorry about that! They’ve never broken the edge like that before!”
“Sorry!? You’re not allowed to be sorry, that was so cool! It went clean through!” I’ve never seen him gush about something this way. I’ve gotta admit, it’s kind of adorable. “Okay, I’m hooked! What’s the other thing it can do?”
“Invisibility! But I can’t do it for long, at least not yet. I made progress, though! Went from only three seconds to five!”
“Wait, actually, back up a bit. I get that Baron Ass told you how the sickles work and blah blah blah, but how’d you learn how to fight with ‘em? Ya know, the non-mystic aspects.” 
“Oh, YouTube tutorials at first. But honestly, sickle fighting is mid so I did a lot of improv, really.”
He chuckled and eventually lost to his giggles as if me saying that wasn’t completely justified. “Did you just call an ancient form of martial arts mid?” 
“Stop judging me, I’m right! Sickles were improvised weapons. They’re good for the last resort, not the first choice!”
“I’m not judging, I’m not judging! Promise! I respect it, even!” He leaned against the roof’s edge, gradually collecting himself. “But if they’re that bad, why didn’t you ask for a different weapon? One that’s cooler and not ‘the last resort’?”
Oh boy, where to begin?
I then explained how I essentially found myself wrapped in some “chosen one” bullshit through the sickles. They still don’t work any time Barry touches them but are perfectly fine in my hands. It’d be pretty dumb to pass up these weapons for a different one, even if sickles aren’t the coolest thing to own. Although, he’s definitely acting like they are judging by how intensely his eyes are staring at them. They’re sparkling brighter than I thought eyes realistically could. 
“Well, now I’m offended! Mystic mystery sickles that do all kinds of glowy stuff for you specifically? How could you not tell me about these sooner!? They’re so amazing!”
“I know, I’m real sorry, Leon.” He’s joking around, his tone’s too light to be mad. But I do still feel bad for accidentally ignoring him like that. “Anything I can do for you as an apology?”
“Well…” His smirk revealed that thing was the main reason he came here in the first place. “We could make up for the lost time and go on a run together tonight. It is a weekend so you’d still have tomorrow and the day after to rest up. But hey, that’s just an idea…”
It's Friday again. Just like the first time we did this.
He held out his hand as an offer and I took it with a grin. “You make a convincing argument.”
And off we went, dashing through the night. It’s a bit humid today so the wind from sprinting so fast is greatly appreciated. Not to mention my speed is so much better than before! 
The daily restrictions of civil life can go suck my dick and feed my liver to their uncles ‘cause oh my god nothing beats this feeling! No one else is here, no one who could stop us! Sure, jumping off roofs isn’t the safest way to have fun, but everything else in my life is already so safe! I’m allowed to have this one thing, this one moment to be free.
I’m so distracted that I didn’t realize I’m actually giving Leo a run for his money this time! Hehe, run. God, I’m so funny.
“Looks like you can actually keep up with me now!”
“I know, right!? It feels fucking amazing!” 
Judging from his mischievous ass face, I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut. “I don’t mean to burst your bubble but…”
 A blue light appeared as a hole ripped in the sky and the lovely piece of shit went right through, appearing again somewhere way ahead of me. “I’m still faster!~”
“Hey! No portals allowed!”
“Uh, last time I checked, portalling is totally allowed.”
“Says who!?”
“Says me and I’m leader! Whatever leader says goes!”
To add insult to injury, he doesn’t just portal himself. As I’m trying to catch up to him mid-jump, the jackass opens a portal right under me, sending me back even further than I already was with no time to recover. 
“Leo, you cheat!”
Bro’s giggling his ass off as he blinked in and out of sight. I’m no different with how sore my face is, so I can’t even pretend to be mad. 
Instead, all I can do is try my best to speed up and catch up, plotting my revenge in the meantime. Easier said than done, that dude’s faster than the Flash right now since he’s, ya know, portalling. Doesn’t help that he keeps appearing right next to me every few minutes just to taunt me and disappear again.
A few minutes into our little cat and mouse game though, I lost track of him and he hadn’t shown up in a while to pester me. So, I started calling out his name, trying to look for him. You’d think it’d be easier to find a 5’5” giant, green turtle man but I guess they wouldn’t be ninjas if that were the case.
“Leo? Leo!? Le- Huh?”
I finally found him. But instead of the shit-eating grin he gave me earlier, he’s silent and still behind the edge of a roof, his back facing me. It’s starting to freak me out a little, he looks like he’s going fucking Blair Witch mode. No words, no witty remarks, nothing. Just ghostly staring at whatever the view is. Only thing I can see from here is a museum. 
“Hey, Leon, you okay?”
“Shh!”
With his eyes still fixed up ahead, Leo took my hand and guided me forward. He eventually looked at me and nodded towards the street below us. Gazing in that direction, I saw a large purple truck with the logo of that one weird shoe store I browsed a few years ago. From what I’ve gathered these past few weeks, big trucks mean bad news. 
But maybe that’s not what I should be focused on. Standing near the truck were two people, their skin an unnatural shade of purple. One’s large and brutish, the other tall and slender. They’ve got foot marks on their faces and flames on their bald heads. Exactly how Mikey described…
“The Foot Clan.”
He nodded. “I don’t understand, those guys were all turned into Krang during the invasion.”
Sorry, what? “You’re sure it was those two specifically? I haven’t heard about any cures or vaccines for the Krang victims on the news. It’d make headlines if there were.” I haven’t heard anything about them for a while now that I think about it.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He leaned closer to the edge, as close as he could get without getting caught. “They’re parked a street away from a museum, the hell are they up to now?” 
I mimicked his actions, trying to hear the Foot people better. The slender one’s on the phone, sounding frustrated. He’s doing that whisper-yelling thing people do when they wanna be mad quietly to avoid societal shame. 
“Yeesh, someone’s having a bad day.”
“You can hear them?” Why does he look so confused?
“Yeah, can’t you?”
Leo shook his head. “Whatever, what are they saying?” 
I cocked my head to the side, spying in on their conversation.
His voice is scratchy, a little sore on my ears. “What do you mean you can’t get it off? Just bring the whole thing and hurry! We can’t risk alerting anyone!” Neither of us can tell what he’s referring to, unfortunately. The Foot dude avoids naming it. 
I looked back at Leo scanning around for any clues. He stared at the back of the museum for a minute before his eyes widened. “I know where we are. It’s the Historical Society Museum. Donnie mentioned wanting to come here once.” 
“I think I’ve heard of it. Isn’t there a lot of ancient stuff in there? Like, from centuries back?”
Nodded again. He’s being unnervingly quiet, considering it’s Leo. He stared at the clan, then at the museum, then back at the clan. He looked… scared. Scared in a way I’ve never seen him before. I felt my hand being subconsciously squeezed. I didn’t even notice he hadn’t let go in the first place.
…I have to help him.
I readied myself for whatever his idea was, no matter how outlandish or risky it may seem. “Alrighty, what’s the plan?” 
“Right.” He hesitated, before gripping his katanas and turning back. “…The plan is for me to portal you home, kick some Foot ass, and pick you up so we can continue our run.” 
WHAT!?
“What do you mean ‘portal me home!? I’m not leaving!” I was prepared for anything, but this!? “We just stumbled across the Foot Clan who are for some reason not freaky alien zombies and messing with ancient artifacts that do who knows what!”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m sending you home before your adrenaline junkie ass can do something stupid.”
“And what makes you think I’d do that!?”
He held up my scarred left arm and stared at me unimpressed.  
“…Okay, that’s a low blow even for you.” 
Though as much as I hate to admit it, he kind of has a point. I sighed. “Alright, tell me. If I leave, will you at least call your brothers to help you out?”
“Yes!”
“Leo.”
“Fine, I lied.” The steel fucking balls of- “But still! I’ll be okay! I’ve gone against them plenty of times before.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re invincible!”
Before I could say anything more, I heard the sound of a truck starting up. I looked down and Leo followed my line of sight to see the Foot getting ready to drive. 
Shit, they’re getting away!
“Okay, okay! Listen, I promise, I promise I won’t run off on my own and do something dumb this time. Anything the leader says goes! Just please let me join!” I can’t leave him alone!
I could sense him debating on what to do. His eyes look so conflicted, there’s definitely more than what he’s telling me. Nevertheless, I’m not budging. I don’t wanna sit at home being useless and worry the entire time.
He took a deep breath in, and let out a loud sigh. He looked at me with a defeated smile. “I’m not getting rid of you, am I?”
“Nope.”
“Alright, fine, but you’re sticking close.”
Before I could celebrate too much, I felt the ground beneath me disappear into bright blue light. Not anything sudden, more gentle really. Even then, I felt disoriented with my feet going from firmly grounded to touching the air! Not to mention how light my whole body felt. Gravity did a complete 180 and I got flipped around, landing under the truck. 
I nearly lost my grip but a hand on my back kept me in place long enough for me to recollect myself. Leo portalled us here.Well, obviously he did, it just caught me off guard again. It’s not really too bad going through his portals but it sure is a fucking trip when it’s unexpected. Either way, it got the job done. 
They drove for quite a damn while. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience having to cling on to the bottom of a moving truck as the only scents to breathe in were that of oil and gasoline, but we probably looked super cool! My ears disagreed but oh well. They parked in front of a mall this time. Not just any mall, the fucking World Trade Center! We’re literally on the other side of the city, what on Earth could they need here?
I wanted to follow them in but Leo was against it. He said it’d be safer for us to spy from a distance for now so we went to the roof of a neighboring building, looking in at them. The Foot are on one of the higher floors, almost seeming like they’re scavenging for something. 
Leo’s trying to figure out another way in for us. I still don’t understand why we didn’t just follow them. I know Leo’s not a total reckless nutcase or anything, but being this cautious felt a little unlike him. 
“Hey, look, I don’t mean to shoot your own words back at you or anything. But you know you can tell me if something’s up, right?” 
For a split second, he looked different. His eyes were dead, his lips shut and neutral. He stared at me but he looked so… lost. Empty. 
And then his smile returned, face back to normal. Or at least what he convinced me was normal. I’m not so sure anymore. He flicked my forehead again. Even softer than the first time he did it. “Stop worrying so much! You’re gonna give yourself a chasm worse than Raph’s.”
I didn’t know how to take it from there. So I just watched him.
He eventually decided on portalling us into the building’s vent system. It’s a little cramped but was the only place we can eavesdrop without being immediately spotted. Though honestly, I don’t mind this one bit! I’m controlling the impulsive adrenaline ,however, he didn’t say shit about internal adrenaline! I can’t help it if stealth makes me giddy!
“Hehe! It’s like we’re in a movie!”
“Love your enthusiasm as always but remember to not get too caught up in it.”
I momentarily shoved my excitement to the side as we both tried listening in on the Foot Clan. The skinny dude, who I now know to be the Lieutenant, is barking orders at the rest of the soldiers scouting around while talking to the giant Brute. 
“You disabled the cameras, correct? You know we can’t make it any harder for them!”
“Of course I did, it’s a no-brainer! Why’d ya have to ask it like that?” Woah, villain or not, his New Yorker accent is one to admire! “You know, sometimes I feel like you think I’m just stupid and nothin’ more.”
“Oh, don’t start now. Focus on finding good metal. The sooner we finish this the better.”
Hearing his raspy voice makes my own throat itch a little. I lightly clawed at it, trying to not make too much noise as I moved. 
I leaned a little closer to Leo “What do you think they need metal for?” 
“Not sure. Could be to make more soldiers or something? It’d be a cool upgrade from their paper soldiers.”
Leo’s tone seems a little lighter than before, I’m glad to hear him joke around again. “They could make paper soldiers?”
“Yeah! And they’re completely sentient, one of them even became besties with Raph! Anyway,” he pointed down at a handful of soldiers collecting metal artifacts “they’re probably trying to make those origami soldiers again with something stronger.”
“But how would you fold metal?”
“Beats me, Mikey would know more on this. He’s figuring out how to recreate whatever spell they used so we could get some help with patrolling. Word of advice though, salami origami does not work as a substitute.”
“No shit. Who’s bright idea was that?”
“...You don’t know him.” His guilty face says it all.
We were giggling a little too loudly, I suppose. One of the Foot dudes stopped and started listening for our voices again. He shrugged and moved on soon enough. I didn’t realize I was covering my mouth till I let myself breathe again.
“We should probably be a little quieter and take this stealth thing more seriously.”
I nodded in agreement. He’s not upset, honestly he’s struggling just as much as I am to choke down more giggles. It’s like we’re hiding under a blanket during a sleepover pretending we’re not awake in front of the parents and not in a likely life or death situation spying on the black-magic cult. I’m trying my best but it’s already hard enough to keep my adrenaline addiction in check and Leo being here makes it worse in the best ways possible. 
Still, I don’t wanna know what happens if we get cau- What was that creaking sound?
CLANG! 
It would seem those were not really sturdy vents. 
You know that moment from the Ice Age sequel when the vultures surround the main cast with hungry, devilish eyes ready to feast on them at any given moment? Yeah, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if the Foot Clan randomly bursts into song about “glorious food” full on broadway musical style.
“Uh… Hey, fellas! Long time no see, am I right?” Despite his demeanor, I caught the real reason he raised his hands. I reached back for mine as well.
A sheath of metal filled the air as Leo took his katanas out their case, perfectly timed with the Lieutenant’s new orders.
“GET THEM!” 
“Run, hide first then get the stolen thingie if you can. I’ll keep ‘em busy!” Leo charged into the fight, holding them off to make sure they couldn’t get to me.
Unfortunately, there’s like a bajillion of them that can easily outnumber us. I’ve learned to be quite a slippery sprinter but even then two already managed to block my path.
Now would be a good time to turn invisible!
“Come on, come on!” I could barely get the sparks to even start spreading. Turns out stress is a huge fucking factor I neglected in my training. 
I wouldn’t have minded if it just took a few seconds to work but the real issue was I couldn’t keep it working. I didn’t even really go invisible, just sorta flashed in and out of transparency for a few seconds! The only reason I haven’t gotten caught yet is ‘cause these two morons are too busy laughing at me.
“Is that really the best you can do!? Whoever you are, little girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you!” 
“Oh no! She’s… she’s… blinking like an old flashlight!! We’re so scared!”
…BITC-
Resorted to traditional methods. I made the sickles the consistency of a metal pot and threw it at one of their heads, knocking them down. The other I kicked straight in the chest while they were distracted by their idiot teammate, also knocking them down. I’d love nothing more than to give some extra special attention to them but this old flashlight’s gotta run for the shadows while they’ve got an open chance. 
A blue portal opened in front of me. “Hey Salena, so this fight’s a little more intense than I expected and I wanted to quickly check if you’re really sure about-”
“Leo, I’m fine! I’m not leaving mid-battle!”
“No, no, that’s fine! That’s great! Just a reminder there’s no shame in calling it- DUCK!”
 
Without hesitance, I dropped to the ground right as his sword swung above me to block one of the soldier’s attacks. Maybe I should let Leo handle this guy since I can’t really do much while laying on the floor. Then again, doesn't mean I can’t do anything. And also I don’t have good impulse control.
“OW!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?”
I bit on to his ankle as hard as I desired despite his pleading cries. I didn’t let go until Leo broke out of his shock and finally punched him unconscious. Fighting might actually be a really good way to get out my urges.
“Why-“
“Don’t. If it works, it works.”
I flashed a grin, got back on my feet, and bounced away. I need a better vantage point if I wanna find the stolen item, especially with the chaos over here. I quickly made my way up to the indoor balcony thingie. Terrance? The second floor? Whatever the fuck it is. I’ll have to admit, despite how absolutely pumped I’m feeling right now, it kinda feels nice getting away from the clusterfuck for a bit. I heard Leo still spamming all his dialogue options to keep the main two creeps occupied. Actually, I’m pretty sure I can see them from up here, too. 
“So, you guys are looking great! Never thought I’d say this, but I am loving the old look making a return.” His hands did more tricks than usual, keeping his swords flowing like an intricate dance. There are multiple soldiers practically hounding him yet he’s fending them off almost gracefully.
“Can’t you stupid children stay out of our way for one night! There’s great evil being put on the hold right now for your antics!”
“Hey, speaking of evil, what’s with the normal amount of eyes? Not that I’m missing the other option but- GAH!”
And yet, even with Leo’s skilled moves, he’s struggling to keep up with the two leaders specifically. I deadass would’ve been slaughtered by now if I didn’t listen to him about hiding. 
“We got some outside help. Now, stop askin’ annoying questions and maybe we’ll go easier on ya!” He swung his axe again, thankfully missing Leo.
I gotta wonder, from Mikey’s stories, they’ve fought the Foot Clan with ease several times in the past. Leo was doing fine just now, too. So why does it look like this could be his first time facing off the Lieutenant and Brute? Nobody’s perfect but I don’t think either of us expected him to lose his grace and become borderline clumsy against them.
Wait, no! Distractions! Leo can handle himself, I need to focus on my own task. Stolen thingie! But where the hell is it?
Just as I was about to think they left it in the truck like common sense would dictate, a soft, reflective red glow caught my eye. The moon was on my side tonight.
“There she is!”
Or maybe I was being too optimistic. In fairness, I should’ve known I couldn’t stay here for long.
It would be really fucking nice to turn invisible now. Sickles? No? Oh, okay, fuck me then I guess.
I hopped off the edge before they could reach me and slinked to the other side of the room, following the red gleam. Despite the sickles betraying me with horrific timing twice tonight, I got them to cover me long enough to reach the ruby ring the glow came from. The light bled past the folds of the drape covering their stolen prize. I lifted it to find a… weird mannequin bust? With arms. Decorated with several ornaments and jewelry including the ring. What the fuck are they using this for, a fashion show? 
I flinched to the sound of a loud thud paired with Leo’s groan. Flipping my head behind me, I saw him cornered against a wall, swords shielding him from the Brute’s axes.
“Okay, either you two got a lot stronger or my body isn’t what it used to be.”
I gotta calm myself down, Leo’s a trained ninja and will likely be completely and totally fine! A tiny slip doesn’t mean inevitable doom!
 
…I hope.
I turned my attention back to the mannequin thing to mentally measure its size. I’m fairly certain it’ll fit inside my backpack, it’s not too big. Just gotta get it in now.
Another sound interrupted me. This time, it was loud metallic clanking off the floor. Leo’s katanas…
“On second thought, maybe it’s both.” His weapons were away from him, too far out of reach. His voice sounded weaker, arms wrapped around his torso.
Oh no.
Neither of them were holding back. As soon as he was down, they were practically hammering at him. His arms were up, defensively blocking his head. I’m supposed to stay away from this. I’m supposed to listen and focus on my task. But I can’t stop my body from turning when I see something like this happening. 
He’s in the air now. I need to move. He’s being swung. I need to be faster. 
“Let this be a lesson, turtle. Our battles have drastically changed.”
The window shattered from the force of his body.
“LEO!”
I don’t remember ever sprinting this fast, but I was out the window right after through the very hole he created. The height couldn’t scare me if it tried. My arm outstretched, I caught him with one hand and had my sickle in the other. Careful to not dare mess up my timing, it snatched onto a power line just as my blades turned to rubber, thick enough to not get us shocked from the voltage. 
“N-nice… nice catch.”
“Thanks.” It’s harder to talk when I’m panting like a dog and trying to limit my shaking limbs.
His weight felt like it would rip my arms apart. I didn’t expect a giant muscular turtle to be light but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Still, some-fucking-how, I’m able to keep us both hanging from the wire, comprehending the fact that we’re not dead. Thank fuck for Raph forcing me to work out sessions.
“You, uh, you doing good up there? You’re breathing kinda heavily. Hey, heavily! Didn’t even mean to make that one!”
“Leo I will drop you.”
He convinced me to suffer a little longer and try to swing him, giving enough momentum for him to catch onto the side of the neighboring building. Then, I swung myself, Leo catching me to soften the landing. We scampered up to the roof, coincidentally the same one we were on a while ago. 
“And literally back to square one. Fantastic.” He sighed, clearly annoyed by our failure. His attention quickly shifted once he noticed me rubbing my sore arms. “Hey, you okay? Want me to take a look at you?”
“Me? Take a look at yourself first, idiot!” 
I’m not gonna pretend I’m not in pain, but it’s nothing close to the tragedies on his body currently. His arms are bruised and cut from the fight. One was actively bleeding with bits of glass still stuck in some places. Luckily it was the only fleshy place he took damage on, everything else was protected, albeit a little cracked.
“It’s… It’s fine. My shell took most of the hit, anyway.” This bitch. “Besides, I’ve got bigger things to worry about.”
Despite his condition, he started walking to the edge of the roof, heading back towards the WTC.
“Where the hell are you going?”
“To get my katanas back.”
“Oh, no, no, no, you are not going back in there! Can’t you just make new swords or something?”
“And help the foot by practically gifting them Hamato weapons?”
“You said they’re made from your magic! Shouldn’t that protect them from other people trying to use them?”
“I don’t know, we only learned about this ninpo stuff, like, last year! I don’t know enough to be sure nothing will happen if I leave them with the Foot. I’m not doing that.”
“Well, I can’t let you go back.” I stood in front of him to block his path. “We can figure something else out but you are not going back in there! Look at you, it’d be crazy!”
“I was crazy once-” My hand shut his stupid, smug mouth before he could complete the ritual. 
“Leo, you were thrown out a window! You’re hurt!”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I’ve been through worse! I’m just gonna get my swords back, that’s all.” He put a hand on my shoulder and threw on a fake smile to comfort me. The blood is literally dripping down his arm as he did, defeating the point. I looked back at his eyes, not bothering to hide how furiously concerned I am. If I’m reading him right, he’s not oblivious to reality. He’s a medic, he knows it better than I do.
He took a shaky breath in. “Fine, you’re right that I’m a little hurt. But we can’t waste time patching me up, I need to get my swords! Rule number one of basic survival is never let the Foot come into possession with highly mystic material ever.”
“Then I’ll go while you take care of yourself.” 
“NO!” His head perked up as his eyes grew wider. He tried saving his initial reaction. “No way, not happening. It’s a safer plan if I go in, I’m more used to them” Safer for us or for just me. 
“And yet, you got beaten to a pulp, isolated from your weapons, thrown out a window, and are now bleeding with shards of glass sticking out your body. Did I miss anything?” He’s neglected himself all night being overly cocky and confident nothing bad would happen to him. That’s what’s led to him turning out like this! “They didn’t exactly go easy on you, Leo-”
“Then imagine what they’d do to you!”
His brows knit together, staring at me, not blinking. I guess my wish was granted since he finally stopped disguising his true fear.
“Salena, please. Stay here, I’m going in.”
I almost let him go. Almost.
Too bad for him, I yanked him by the mask tails and pulled his stunned face back to face me. 
“Hey, wh-”
“Alright, listen. I know whoever these guys are, they’re dangerous as fuck. I know I’m nowhere near as skilled of a fighter as you and I probably never will be. And I know I am way in over my head about this. But none of that matters to me.” 
He kept quiet. So I continued. “What matters is that I’m your friend. Friends don’t let each other jump into losing battles, okay? You’re hurt, Leo. Please, just let me help you.”
I looked up at the sky. The clouds are covering the moon now and should stay that way for a little while. I could take advantage of the newfound darkness. 
I stood on the ledge, mentally preparing myself to reignite the flames. Sure, I talked big about being able to handle myself and whatnot but I’m just trying to fool myself into thinking I’m not scared. If I can keep myself level-headed and use my sickles, I’ll be able to stay invisible for a short bit. If I play my cards right, that should be all I need.
I felt a hand grab my wrist. Turning around, I readied myself to once again reassure Leo I’d be fine but stopped when he put something in my palm. I recognize them, they’re tanto knives.
“Hey.” His smile is forced but not disingenuous. 
“You’ve got this.”
So off I went with the last little push I needed. The cool night air feels fantastically refreshing on my skin. Every leap leaves me more confident I’ll succeed. I have to. He needs someone he knows he can depend on. 
I scouted around and found an open window to sneak back in through. Judging by how crazy strong these guys are, my best bet is the element of surprise and for these oversized lethal boomerangs to actually work in my favor. Which they hadn’t before. But nothing’s ever hopeless. The reflection off the moon was their main source of light, with the clouds hiding it now and my knowledge of the floor’s layout, I think I might have a working plan this time.
I rushed over to the balcony I was at previously, this time being more cautious of any look-outs. There were three of them up here so I’m glad I didn’t choose the reckless route. I took my sickles out my backpack, breathed in, and turned invisible. A little harder to do since my nerves haven’t completely disappeared but it’s going smoother than before. 
I snuck up to the soldier at the back of the trio, covering his mouth and dragging him to the dark, knocking him out shortly after. His two buddies were a piece of cake after that, hit one with a blunt-force sickle and take the other by hand at the same time. No one noticed a thing. 
With the balcony cleared, I reclaimed my little sighting spot and looked over the entire floor, making note of every nook and cranny I could hide in. The clan’s focus changed since last time, they’re trying to get out as fast as possible. Seems like they’re taking Leo’s katanas with them since Lieutenant Itchy McSore-Throat was holding onto them.
“All of you hurry up! We must get out of here!”
I spotted the stolen mannequin in the distance. It’s actually not too far and surprisingly not removed. The two leaders seem distracted by someone. Perfect timing. I crept down and started taking out some more soldiers, listening in to the conversation at the same time. 
“What about getting all the mystic metal we can?” That’s a new voice.
“Forget the metal, we’ve got enough for today. We need to leave or that turtle will bring reinforcements!” 
“Yeah, sure, whatever makes ya happy, boss.” 
“You better not be questioning my authority.”
“Our authority, he means. We’ve had your type before, and they grew to be traitors. I suggest you don’t test the patience of the Foot ‘cause it’s growin’ thin.”
“Nice phrasing! Even if you shouldn’t have interrupted me.” I can’t tell if these two have workplace tension or workplace bromance anymore. “But he’s right. You’d do well to remember your place, rookie.” 
“Hey, I wasn’t tryna question anything guys. Just sayin’ maybe we should’ve planned this better in case we got caught.”
“So you may be right. We’ll keep it in mind but work on your delivery when it comes to criticism. Now quickly, go join the others.”
“Can I at least hold the magic swords?”
“No.”
She grumbled and left through the door, likely exiting the building. Her attitude was a pleasant surprise. I’ll admit, I kinda assumed all the Foot soldiers had brain-numbing levels of obedience. 
The clouds were clearing up, though. The moonlight brightened the room back up, I can’t use the darkness for cover much longer. Alas, if only I knew how to use my literal invisibility powers for longer than a few seconds but you know what? This is genuinely perfectly okay. I’ve taken out enough of them to only leave a few left standing, not to mention the majority of them are already out the building. I gotta take these freaks head on if I wanna get Leo’s swords. No more hide and seek.
I let the light illuminate me. 
“Hey guys!~” I waved gleefully as the Foot idiots finally noticed my presence. “Remember me? Hope it hasn’t been too long.”
“You!” The Brute turned to me first. “You’re the Hamato ally from earlier!”
“What are you doing here! Why have you returned!”
“You sure have a way of asking questions that makes them feel like statements. Anyway, I’m here to collect something you stole from my friend.”
He gripped the swords as he scowled at me. I held my own sickles tighter.
“You foolish child! You leave us no choice but take you out permanently.”
“Oh, really now? You and what army.”
I scoffed when I caught his expression change. Everyone looked at each other, noting how very few of them are suddenly in the room. So distracted they barely noticed me going for my first blow. 
He quickly got ready to block me with Leo’s weapon, absolutely bewildered when I only zoomed past him and sliced at the leg of another soldier behind him. It wasn’t too deep but poor guy was still rendered useless. I dashed to my left at another soldier, dodging his attack and punching right up his chin. 
“What’s going on!? Those sickles were dull the last time she used ‘em!”
 
“They must be mystic…” 
“Right you are, Lieutenant! I kept them dull on purpose, my mistake.” 
I threw a tanto at a cultist’s shoulder. 
“You threw Leo out a window. I think you can bear to see some blood.”
One by one, I went around the room, sprinting past anyone chasing after me and immobilizing anyone with their guard down. I got in a groove good enough to keep myself progressing along while getting out my rage. I wasn’t kidding before, I would’ve kept my blades dull again. I’m still careful to not do anything fatal but I’m not gonna be exactly merciful, either. They deserve this.
Fighting felt like dancing, gliding across the room in an energetic fashion. I’m not crazy enough to go for the Lieutenant or Brute which ended up being a plus for me. They was more than ready to protect themselves, but not their team. At last, I got them all exactly where I needed them. 
Alright, stay calm. Turn invisible no matter what.
My sickles shone with a pink glow, allowing me to disappear from their sight. I scampered past them, reaching the bejeweled mannequin behind them. It feels a little different? But there isn’t any concrete proof for this so my brain’s just tricking me. Whatever, no time to lose. I shoved it in my bag, getting myself used to the weight, and aimed a sickle at his arm.
 
“Where’d she go!?”
“Stay alert! Don’t let her catch you off guard!” 
A bit late for that buddy. 
My blade sliced through, leaving a massive gash on his arm. He screamed and dropped Leo’s sword. I ran through, catching it just as I became visible again. I snatched the other one as quickly as possible and sprinted to create some distance.
I held my arm up to my face, making good use of the wraps’ built-in comms. “Leo! Heads up!”
I threw a katana out the window, smashing the glass as it flew outside. I stopped in my tracks with a smirk. I knew we won.
I dodged the last attacks of the night, accelerating faster than I realized I could go. “Well folks, this was quite a fun match! Hope to never see you again!” Blue light sparked across my body. I leapt in the air, gave a quick peace sign purely to piss ‘em off, and bid my farewell.
“Toodles~”
Teleportation isn’t actually too bad if you know it’s coming.
The cool night air returned on my skin. I was floating for a few seconds before crashing to the roof on my knees. I didn’t even care about the pain, I was too busy enjoying the hug I received for my success! 
“I DID IT! I FUCKING DID IT! WOOHOO!!!”
“Celebrations later, escaping now! Come on!” 
Leo dragged me up and pulled us through another portal.
***
“We are the champions!~
“Gone with the losers ‘cause we are the champions!” 
I handed another slice of pizza to Leo, half the box pepperoni for him and the other half plain cheese for me. We already dropped off the mannequin back to the museum and I gave an anonymous tip to 911 so now we’re simply chilling on the roof singing to celebrate our victorious night. I’m honestly still hyper as hell over it.
“I can’t believe we actually did it! I can’t believe I actually did it! Salena one, Foot Clan NONE BABY, FUCK YEA!”
“Man, I am so happy you came out okay. You have no idea how relieved I was when I saw you again.” He bit into the cheese, the least stressed I’ve seen him all night.
I couldn’t realize it earlier but that hug he gave wasn’t for my success. It’s clear to me now.
“Leo?”
“Hm?” He looked towards me as he bit into the cheese.
“Thanks for trusting me.”
He mirrored my smile. “Hey, we’re friends, right? That’s what I’m here for.”
The spring breeze feels so sweet. The view of the city is rewarding as always. A safe city, a safe night. I can see why they’re so into this whole hero gig. Everything about this moment feels absolutely perfect.
Buzz! Buzz!
I swear to god if my fucking phone’s gonna ruin it again. I quickly checked the notif to see if it was anything important. To my surprise, it’s Jaiden.
They sent me a text. The first one in weeks. It’s a dumb meme I saw earlier today.
We used to do this a lot in the past. Whenever we got into a fight, it’d be our way of ending it. We could never stay mad at each other for more than a day. In the past at least.
I guess this means they’re not mad at me anymore.
“Everything okay?” Leo stared at me, probably concerned by my change in demeanor. 
I double tapped to like Jaiden’s meme and put my phone away, going back to normal.
“It’s nothing important. Just, uh, highschool stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”
He laughed “Oh, okay, well. I know I’m too fabulous to be the average, uncool, normal teen guy doing normal teen things like going to highschool that you want right now but…”
“If you ever need someone to lend a shoulder, you know who to call.”
He’s an idiot, but a very sweet one when he wants to be. 
“Thanks, Leo, but I mean it this time. It’s nothing.” I raised up my slice to request a toast of some sorts. “Let’s go back to celebrating, shall we?”
He let out a satisfied chuckle, returning my toast. I didn’t wanna let anything ruin the way I felt tonight, even if their text tainted the vibe a bit. But hey, it’s technically a win, too! I got my confirmation that Jaiden and I are indeed still friends.
Though I gotta admit, I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be.
Tumblr media
Next Chapter
Tumblr media
43 notes · View notes
devouredbyflame · 5 months
Note
Good morning! It’s Ari, again.
I might drop by to DM sometime, but since I’m about to work, I didn’t want to be rude and just DM/start a conversation to throw questions at you and run off lol I’d rather DM to get to know someone if that makes sense. I thought it might be more appropriate to drop little questions here if any really drive me nuts while I’m reading your blog in the meantime.
If I ever ask anything you don’t want to share, feel free to say so! I’m trying to understand what I’ve read you say about finding your path yourself and avoiding echo chambers when you should be learning from the Divine, so I’m gonna try to limit my questions, but between my having ADHD, anxiety, and just generally being kind of detail-oriented, I still find myself fixated on specific details a lot
So with that ramble out of the way (sorry, I’m kinda long-winded, I’m sure you noticed in my email lol) my actual question(s) for today!:
(I see how long this got, so for a summary, this jumble of questions is about the likenesses of Deities you mention putting on altars)
In your first post about altar creation, I saw you say one of the things you need is a likeness of the Deity you’re making it for. It might be a silly question, but what really counts as a “likeness”? Is it just anything made with the intention of being His likeness? Or are we supposed to make an intuitive guess? I could see maybe going by personal UPG, but assuming we’re just starting out and not confident in anything like that, trying to make the altar to connect in the first place, I’m wondering how we know what we’re looking for.
Since I’m not able to practice openly at home, but my family knows I was a bigger fan of Hiddleston Loki than the MCU itself, I was thinking of finding a good/affordable figure of MCU Loki. So if the owner of the household rifles through my things, as she’s prone to do, and she finds a candle, a marvel figure and a couple of (to her) random things in a box, she’s more likely to think it’s just a box of knickknacks. But I’m afraid this will be seen as some kind of joke, I don’t want to be too familiar, in case I’ve been wrong about my connecting to Him so far.
Final thought- do Deities even really have human-looking appearances? I see Loki appearing differently to different people, especially as a shapeshifter, but is it really a thing that any of Them look a certain way? Like I’ve read you talk about meeting Him face-to-face when He has possessed people in front of you, and how He’s your roommate/in-and-out-of-your-body way of being with you now. But is there a way you “see” Him? And is that a way He’s appeared to you, in a dream or meditation or something, or is it just kinda a creative idea of how He looks?
Sorry for the length, and any errors! I’d stop to edit it down and fix run-on sentences, but I’m already kinda late starting work (oops). So I hope you have a good day! Hopefully I’ll have time to actually chat this weekend, if you’re open to that!
Hi Ari! You're totally fine. I love answering questions so give me what you got and I can do my best to further clarify for you. And also, I am ADHD so I 100% understand the need for detail-oriented clarification. My numerous questions is how I got to where I am today because I would ask Loki so many things about how stuff works so I can better grasp the nature of the concept. I am more than delighted to share what I've learned, how it works, and why it's been successful and that's kind of the point of my being here.
My answers are also really long-winded and mostly because I have a lot of knowledge and experiences and very few places to share it so bear with me.
So, in regards to the likeness question, I would say anything that is made with the intention of it being the Deity in question would be the best point of reference. However, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be an obvious representation, just something that is synonymous with Their energy. Like, if you had a candle vaguely in the shape of the Deity in question or a clay model, a doll, or a picture that reminds you of Them, that also works. The purpose is to draw the energy of that particular Deity into the shrine which means you would need to "open the door" to both sides. Like, the Deity would need to know it is for Them as well as you so you can look at it and go, "ah, yes, that is the God in question." You would think They wouldn't care because They know your heart and your intention, but it is easiest when the object is designed with the God in mind.
That being said, I personally had MCU Loki on my altar for a year or two when I first began, knowing Loki probably was aware of my situation and that I needed to be closeted until I had my own place to live. I don't think it would necessarily be a problem if you have Tom Hiddleston instead of Loki Himself. When I got my own place, I got Him a statue carved out of wood and quite a bit of art by various artists I've found who I think draw Him really well.
The whole debate about whether or not Loki cares for MCU Loki itself is complex and I can possibly get into that in more detail if anyone is ever interested. But based on my experiences with Him, He has indicated that no, He doesn't really care for it to be on your shrine. It's fine if that's what you need to be conspicuous. He only really seems to care if you don't ask Him if it's okay. The point, I think, He wants to make is that by asking Him His opinion, He will make it okay because you gave Him your reasoning and didn't just assume. Which makes sense considering a shrine is a Deity's possession and not a devotee's after the point of making it a shrine. So, as long as you're asking His permission to use it on His shrine, I think that's absolutely clear with Him.
I cannot speak for Him, but I sincerely doubt He would ever wish to put you in the way of any danger when it comes to His shrine being made. However, I know Him to be very possessive of His belongings and prefers giving His consent with certain things. If you invite Him when creating a shrine, He will more than likely give you a sense of what you need to be doing for Him and whether or not it's okay. If you don't trust that, using a pendulum, flipping a coin, or other "yes/no" random generators are helpful. I wouldn't worry too much that you are afraid of insulting Him just because you don't have an option.
Just don't ask Him multiple times the same question because that's when He starts giving false answers. It can get aggravating but typically He doesn't like having only one-sided answers and would prefer to say both "yes" and "no" because He tends to swing both ways when talking about the nature of Himself as well as the Gods since it's never only ever just one single way.
I think He does mind Tom Hiddleston being used as His likeness if you have no reason to hide your shrine and if you don't ask His permission to so so He may say "no" but then "yes" later on given His consent and an explanation of your reasoning.
Now, I don't know your situation, obviously, and there's no reason for you to get into more detail about it to some random stranger on the internet but I will point out that having a shrine is a lot less obvious than you would think. People won't know what they are looking at if they are not pagan. I kept my shrine on my desk for the years I was closeted and my ex who was an atheist as well as my Christian parents did not know what they were looking at unless I specifically told them what it was. Even then, they were confused. I think unless the people you live with know what a pagan is or what a shrine should be, you likely are going to be fine even if they go through your belongings.
I recommend keeping it in a shoe box somewhere or an even smaller box that's tucked away somewhere no one will get to it even if they are looking. It's probably for the best regardless because it would keep other energy from getting to it that would be less than savory and could interrupt the energetic transaction between Loki and yourself.
Also, in regards to appearances, no, Loki does not have a physical appearance whatsoever. He is energy and energy does not have a form that we can see clearly with our two eyes. He likes to call Himself an "orb of light" and that He "floats around all day and does not do much of anything on this physical plane except wait around for stuff to happen."
I have seen Him manifest physically before but it is not human-like nor is it remotely something that is a common occurrence. It looks like glimmers of golden light that shines in the corner of my eye and flashes before it can ever be seen fully. My cats see Him all the time, actually, and watch as He zooms around the apartment and plays with them since cats have a keener sense of vision than we do.
So, no, He does not have any actual human-like qualities. However, it is my understanding that the way we perceive Him is translated by various triggers in our brain. Just like how we visualize a person as they are described that we haven't seen before, Loki essentially has a means to assist people with seeing Him who may have trouble recognizing who He is so He gives a common appearance. He's explained to me that when it's important for someone to know who they are looking at, He will appear to them as a lanky ginger with long red hair, golden eyes and pointed ears. But if it's not, then He can show up as anyone He wants to in any way.
So I suppose it's both the way He wants to be seen and also our own brains piecing together visuals that He triggers and we conceptualize as vaguely human but very obviously not given the amount of energy that resonates off of Him. So it's both intentional that He looks the same way to a lot of people while also being intentional when He doesn't. Regardless of where, how, and why He manifests, though, He feels the exact same way all the time and you'll know who He is just by being in His presence. So, I suppose, also, it doesn't truly matter about what He looks like on your shrine.
I hope that answers your questions (probably more info than you ever asked for) but I'm always open to clarifying things here and otherwise and that goes with anyone who stumbles on my blog. That's why I'm here. Also, yes, please DM whenever you want! I love meeting people. It's my favorite. Talking about this shit is my jam.
11 notes · View notes
huggingkoalas · 3 months
Text
mentions of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. PLEASE proceed with caution.
i’m taking a break from writing for an indefinite period of time.
i try to keep my blog as positive as possible, but it’s been very hard especially since i’ve been struggling with a lot this year. i know tumblr isn’t the place to be talking about everything i’m about to say below, but if i don’t, i think i might actually fucking explode.
i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired with everything.
writing used to be my escape from reality, a way for me to put all my thoughts into paper, but writing’s been tainted for me. ever since i started writing, my life has gone downhill. to me, writing = losing the poeple that mean the most to me, and it’s made me absolutely fucking hate writing. one of the friends i lost said that i ‘prioritized my writing more than her’, and i cant get those words out of my head. it’s just... sad, that writing has become one of the reasons why i’ve fallen apart from her. and to be honest, writing doesn’t even make me happy anymore, because it drains so fucking much of my energy. maybe it’s time i focus on another hobby.
this year hasn’t been kind to me. i’ve been in and out of hospitals lately due to extreme exhaustion and stress. not only am i the only one that’s been hospitalized a lot, but my mom too. the constant stress of being a nurse and sole caregiver to my mother has become too much for me. i’ve never felt like anyone could relate to what i was feeling. and yes, i do work as a nurse. but i really hate working at inpatient wards because of how much trauma i’ve gotten from when i was a student nurse. i’ve always associated the hospital with bad memories, and going there almost every week for my me or my mother’s appointments makes my stomach churn with dread. i just feel so... drained.
my emotional, mental and physical health is the worst it’s been in my life. in the first time after four years, i’ve had suicidal thoughts again. i genuinely, really considered self-harming because of how many fallouts with friends i’ve had to experience this year. i’ve never felt more alone, fustrated, sad, and angry in my whole life. it’s only been 6 months into the year, but it has been the worst 6 months in of my life.
i think i need to focus on myself again, even if it means closing myself off to people. i’ve put my trust in people, and it’s backfired on me. and now, i realize that the only person i can trust is myself.
i’m so tired of losing so many friendships every fucking month.
i’m genuinely so, so sorry to the people who’ve sent me writing requests. i’d like to complete them, but i really don’t think i’ll be finishing any of them anytime soon.
thank you for reading, and the support i’ve been given about my fics. i hope that one day i’ll return and be able to write again.
10 notes · View notes
jsprnt · 11 months
Text
Healing Hearts PT.9 | Virgil van Dijk
Tumblr media
Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?
A/N: Hi loves! Sorry for the late post. I’ve been studying for exams I have this week and the next week and it’s been insanely time consuming. That’s also why I’m choosing to take a two week break from writing, I hope you guys will understand. Don’t worry, I promise I’ll be back with a banger. For now, enjoy this chapter <3
WC: 4.326
Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?
Tumblr media
I let go of the steering wheel as I arrive at the terminal, half slumping over it due to how tired I am. Rubbing my eyes lightly to not smudge my mascara, even though I knew that the moment I sat down in the plane I would be out cold and my make up would be smeared. Thankfully, I could use all my energy on driving carefully and properly.
I groan, cursing the scheduling staff for planning a flight with the team at seven in the morning. The match against LASK would take place tomorrow evening, so why the rush?
I grab my small suitcase filled with all the essentials I would need over the course of the next two days. I throw my handbag over my shoulder, actively trying to avoid the September sun, beaming into my tired eyes while locking my car.
I turn around walking towards the small private plane terminal. The wind had picked up since I left my home, making me feel like my suitcase weighed a million pounds. I place my hand above my eyes, looking down at the floor as I continue walking.
"Lookin' tired doctor."
I turn around abruptly, eyes meeting a cheery Robbo.
"Hm slept way too little." I respond, zero energy in my voice. He walks up next to me, a comforting smile on his face while he pats my shoulder.
"Sleep on the plane. Four hours should be good enough doctor."
"That was exactly my plan." I mumble a small smile cracking on my face, continuing to walk beside him. Pulling my suitcase behind me.
It had been about a week since the guys had come back from international duty. The away game against Wolves last Saturday was an amazing way to start again, with a 3-1 for Liverpool.
I had totally been busy with injuries lately, working on the recoveries and planning that came with them. Ibou could start tomorrows game thankfully. I still had to work with Trent on his injury, but I had full faith in his recovery.
Things between me and Virgil had been- normal. He'd joined the team on the away game, showing support to the guys even when he was suspended.
Thinking about that £100.000 fine he had received had me sweating just at the thought of having to pay. Expensive things and prices weren't that foreign to me, but having to spend that amount on a fine had me shocked. I had teased him about it, telling him he could abstain from buying a new super car that week. He had given me an annoyed look, as he continued to run faster on the treadmill during one of our appointments. I had never laughed at him that hard before.
He had brought up our conversation in his car after the appointment, urging me to not keep problems to myself again. I had waved him off with a smile, telling him I'd be fine. Truly, I hadn't lied. Everything had been going fine so far, no calls and no messages from him. I had just been living my life as normal as possible.
The week without Virgil had been a busy one, me being fully engrossed with work and everything. Both the paperwork and recovery of Trent and Ibou consuming most of my time.
The messages from Virgil were the only thing keeping me sane as I worked from morning to the evening. I couldn't lie, going to bed after reading a sweet goodnight message was something I really missed experiencing. That week had blessed me with the best sleep I'd ever gotten since I had moved to Liverpool.
We walk into the terminal, seeing all the familiar faces making me realize I had to actually socialize, instead of trying to sleep standing upright. We both walk through security quickly, being done within a couple minutes.
"I'm sitting." I mumble quickly to Robbo. I greet the people I walk past curtly, making my way over to the lounge, walking up to the very comfy looking seat.
I plop down, head down as I lean back into the chair. My handbag placed, on my lap. I close my eyes, sighing to my self at the peaceful feeling. Though sadly, that peace is broken by a hand tapping my arm lightly. I open my eyes, ready to yell at the person, but my mood changes as I am greeted by a hand holding out a warm cup of coffee. My eyes trail up the arm of the person, tired eyes meeting with Virgil's.
"Oh it's you." I mumble, squinting slightly due to the sun beaming through the glass panels. "Yes it's me. Disappointed?" He replies, a small smile on his lips.
"Very disappointed." I tease my voice tired, arms folded on my chest as I shake my head at him. He raises a brow, clicking his tongue before pulling the cup of coffee away from me.
"See, I saw you that looked tired and got you some coffee, but since you're disappointed by seeing me-" I chuckle at him, extending my hand to grab the cup of hot brown liquid. "I'm kidding, of course I'm happy to see you." I tease, taking a sip of the coffee. He sighs, looking at me with an annoyed but amused look.
He takes a seat beside me, as I sip on the coffee. The caffeine is either going to keep me up or give me the worse headache known to mankind in the next hour. I slump back in my chair, feet off the ground as I sway them a little.
"Why are you acting like you barely slept?" He asks, leaning closer. I lift my arm, putting it above my eyes in a comforting way. "Cause I barely slept like five hours." I mumble, a soft huff leaving my lips.
"Why? You were off pretty early yesterday."
"You'll either call me an idiot or laugh." I sigh before continuing. "I woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming- well having a nightmare about losing my passport." I explain, arm still placed on my head. "So- I woke up panicking. I immediately started looking for my actual passport and couldn't find it. Which lead me to turn my entire apartment upside down and a panic attack until I realized I had placed it into my handbag." I pull my passport out of my handbag, waving it at him. He doesn't spare a second before he's laughing as loud as he can, way too loud this early in the morning.
"You're serious?"
"Dead serious." I grumble, a little embarrassed at the attention he's drawing. "Stop laughing- you're making my head hurt." I mumble.
He clears his throat before turning to me again. I lift my arm and look at him, seeing the most beautiful smile on his face. My eyes travel down to his tatted arms, getting practically lost in the pretty designs.
He opens his mouth to say something, but he's stopped by the announcement of us being allowed to board. I groan, squeezing my eyes fully shut for a moment before standing up along with Virgil. He pulls his training fleece on, following me out.
Tumblr media
The overly tired girl stands up, grabbing her handbag as Virgil walks alongside her. He observes her slumped and tired looking frame, feeling a slight thump in his heart. He didn't like seeing her mood so down.
He reaches out to her and grabs her handbag, her head moving to the side and up to look at what he's doing. His hand now clinging onto her handbag.
"Let me hold it- looks heavy." He mumbles, his hand coming to rest in between her shoulder blades in a comforting manner. She doesn't react, exhausted and slightly slumped forward as she practically lets him guide her towards the plane.
Both are unaware of the gossiping and teasing looks exchanged in between the other Liverpool players.
The cold winds blow past them, making them slow their pace significantly before stepping into the plane and taking their seat, next to each other. She slides into the window seat, head already slumped against the soft cushion of the luxurious seat. He sits down after putting his belongings up, her handbag placed on the small table-like space in between their seats.
They take off a while later, but Virgil taps her shoulder, taking her out of her tired trance.
"Hm? What's wrong?" She asks, turning slightly to face him. "Here, drink this and go to sleep." He says, handing her a bottle of water. She raises a brow, grabbing the bottle and taking a few gulps.
"I don't know if I want to sleep now." She mumbles, standing up to remove her phone from her back pocket. "Why? You still look tired."
"Yeah but-" she begins looking into his brown eyes. "Do we have wet wipes on the plane?" He looks at her confused, wondering why she'd need them. "I'll be back." she says. Walking away as he's looking back at her confused.
She walks back not even a minute later, wet wipes in her hand as she sinks back into her seat. She starts wiping off the make up that was quickly applied that morning.
"You're wiping your make up off to go to sleep?" He asks, looking at her intently. "Yeah, these white seats won't look pretty nor will my face." She jokes, running the wipe along her cheeks. Carefully removing the last of her eye make up before turning to him. "Can you look if all the mascara is gone?" She asks, moving her face close, so he can see.
Virgil stares at her, taking in the beauty of her bare face, realizing he'd never seen her without make up before, this time she was fully bare faced. "The make up? Yes, I think it's all gone." He replies, a breathlessness in his normally deep voice.
She smiles, moving back to sit in her seat comfortably. "Thank you for checking." She discards the used wipes. She can feel her head staring to hurt and places her head back on the soft cushion, a yawn leaving her lips as her eyes become droopy, her exhaustion taking over and pulling her into a slumber. Soft snores making it obvious she was in need of a nap.
The athlete notices the snores, chuckling at the physio sleeping peacefully next him. Staring at her for a moment, tracing her beautiful features with his eyes.
He notices her shiver, and tugs his training fleece off, leaving him in his T-shirt and draping it on her sleeping figure.
He notices his teammates loud banter from across the aisle, hearing them joke loudly brings a smile to his face. He glances back at y/n, noticing her stirring, half awake. He reaches out, placing a hand on her arm and trying to calm her down.
"It's just the guys, go back to sleep hm?" He whispers tenderly, and her eyes close again. He watches her fall back into a slumber, and returns to watching his show he had selected earlier. He'd send a glare to the younger guys when they'd get too rowdy, telling them to calm down just incase they'd wake their physio up. Glancing at her sometimes to check on her.
A quiet "Sorry Virg" sent to him after he would glare. Virgil unaware of the fact that his teammates were gossiping about their way too obvious captain. Making up stories and betting on ways he'd finally confess to their beloved physio.
Tumblr media
I open my eyes, squinting at the sunlight beaming through the window, noticing a jacket on my lap. I fix some of my hair and look at Virgil who looks totally invested into the show he's watching. I look at his bare arms and realize he must've placed his jacket on me while I was asleep. Making me feel warm at the thought. I reach over to nudge him, he turns his head immediately, removing his earphones.
"Oh you're awake."
"How long did I sleep?" I ask him, rubbing my eyes. He checks the time on his screen. "About two hours."
"Really? I was out for two hours?" I gasp.
"Yeah, I just let you sleep because you looked so peaceful." He says, staring at my slightly disheveled form. I can feel my face flush, so I decide stand up, grabbing my handbag and telling him I'll freshen up. I walk past him, sighing to myself as I walk down the aisle to the toilet.
I stare at myself in the mirror, thankfully I didn't look that bad, though my eyes were definitely puffy. I wash my face and fix my appearance a little, pulling down the soft white top I'm wearing since it had ridden up a little while asleep.
I walk back into my seat, plopping down and staring at the screen Virgil was watching, he notices, taking out one of his earphones and handing it to me with no words exchanged. I smile at him, accepting it as we continue to watch the show together.
Tumblr media
I watch as the guys train, the sun had gone down a while ago in Linz, the sky pitch black with stars twinkling as I look up to admire them. The beauty of the sky in an open field was incomparable to the view of it in the big city, but both were amazing to look at.
I had been to Austria before, not necessarily stayed but visited it during a road trip me and my family went on when I was younger. We had traveled all around Europe for about three weeks. My parents had taken much-needed time off and decided traveling and seeing as many places as possible was the way to go.
I snap out of my thoughts at the sound of a whistle, realizing training had finally ended for the day. I tug my jacket on, chuckling at myself for being cold while all the players were drenched in sweat due to training. I watch as I see some of the players sit down on the chairs on the side of the pitch, and walk over to hand them some water.
"How are you even cold?" I hear Ibou yell, visibly tired. I laugh at him, handing him a bottle.
"Because I didn't go running throughout the entire field like you guys." I retort. "Besides I have low iron." I say, zipping up my jacket, hearing some players laugh. "Low iron yeah?" I hear Virgil say, smirking. "What? Can you let me live?" I say, hands on my hips while looking at him offended.
Our conversation- well bickering is interrupted as I turn my head to look at Dr. Woods, who's calling out to me, talking to me about the condition of some players.
Since Dr. Davis couldn't be here I would have to step in for him. This also meant I could join Dr. Woods on the bench as physiotherapist, making me feel super excited for tomorrows game. Finally, my bench debut would happen!
We arrive back at the fancy hotel, our luggage already brought up to our rooms. I was told I could take Dr. Davis'. So, I had my own private room I didn't have to share with any other female staff member, making me long for the comfortable silence and the big soft bed.
I walk along with some players, listening to them chat amongst each other. I reach into my jacket pocket, grabbing the chocolate snack I had stuffed into it, just in case. I had been craving sweets lately, undoubtedly an early sign of my period. I unwrap it, taking a bite before realizing I'm being watched by someone.
"What? I can't have low iron and a snack?" I ask Virgil. My eyebrows raised defensively as I take another bite, shaking my head at his judging expression. He raises his hands, jokingly surrendering with a smile on his face. "I didn't say a word."
"You've been on the doctors case a lot captain, give it a rest." I hear Robbo say as he puts his arm around my shoulders. I smile at him, as he tries defending me. "I know right he's being so rude." I say, as I start fake crying and Robbo laughings. I glance back at Virgil, seeing his expression drop for a moment, something flickering in his eyes.
"You've been teaming up with my teammates! What is this, no support for your captain at all!" He points to Robbo, but other players around us laugh, knowing they've joined me with teasing him. "Sorry lad, the doctor is the one helping me recover after I get injured. I don't want to be on her bad side." I smirk at him, holding back a laugh as we walk into the hotel.
I tell the guys goodnight as I get off the elevator on the level my room is. Walking into the hotel room, immediately walking over to check the view. The shining city lights making me admire them for a second before jumping into the shower.
I walk back out of the shower, bathrobe on as I plop onto the bed. Picking up my phone from the nightstand, realizing my friends had been ringing it. I press onto the missed call, their faces coming into view as I lift the phone closer to my face.
"Finally, miss sports physio called us back." I hear Monet say. I roll my eyes at her, leaning back and throwing my self fully onto the bed. "I was in the shower." I say, voice tired. "How was the flight?" Priya says. "Fine, I took a nap." I reply, running a hand on my face.
"You guys, she called me at two in the morning! Thinking she lost her passport, panicking for I think an hour, before realizing she put it in her handbag!" Jul shouts complaining about my late night call to her. I hear the others chuckle.
"Stop, it's not funny! I really thought I was fucked this time!" I whine. "You really need to stop overthinking, girl you used to always do that back in uni." Liz replies sternly. I groan at the tone in her voice, a scolding from her was always imminent.
I talk to them some more, before hanging up as I had to go to bed. I yawn, grabbing my suitcase and choosing my sleepwear. Changing as fast as possible and getting ready to finally rest properly.
Tumblr media
I cheer as the referee whistles, clapping at the team's performance during the game. Liverpool had won 3-1 and I couldn't be prouder since they were on top of their table. The match was full of exciting moments like, Ryan's first assist for Liverpool and most importantly the final win. Not to mention, my first time being actively working on the pitch during a Liverpool match.
We walk back into the team bus, everyone tired but in a good mood. I pull out my phone, checking my notifications before clicking on the highlights of my childhood football club, who also had a match, the same time as us.
Despite only getting interested into football in my late teenage years, my dad always made it a point to teach me to love his childhood club. It was a generational tradition at this point. Since my dad is part Turkish, and was raised by my Turkish grandfather, he had to support the same Turkish football club: Fenerbahçe. It was one of the things that bonded me and my dad, at least a little.
"What are you watching? Highlights of what game?" I pause the video turning to Virgil. "My childhood club." I reply. "Fenerbahçe? Right you're part Turkish." He remembers, and I nod. "Think Galatasaray is better to be honest." He blurts, and glare at him. He really had to say that he liked my clubs biggest rivals in their league?
"Stop right now, I swear I'll never treat you again." I threaten, offended. "You're a little too fanatic- Okay I'll stop." He surrenders, a smirk on his face. I sigh, and return back to watch the video. "Oh they won, are you happy doctor?" He interrupts, again. "Yeah, my dad is so happy." I laugh, showing him the rare message my dad had sent in our family group chat.
I glance back at him, noticing him staring at me instead of the phone screen. I see him look away quickly, mumbling something about football making everyone happy. I can feel butterflies in my stomach, but I try to shrug it off, returning to finish watching the video. This time paying half the attention with my thoughts somewhere else.
We feel the bus park a while later, and we all walk out and go up to our hotel rooms. I wave everyone off, getting into my room, not feeling very tired, but remembering we had to get up at nine thirty this time, to get back to Liverpool.
I hear my phone ping as I'm watching TV on the couch, snacking on some candy and chocolate I had gotten this morning. I check my phone, seeing that Virgil had texted.
"Are you up y/n?"
I immediately feel butterflies in my stomach. What's with late text?
"Yeah, I'm up." I text, snapping a picture of the snacks on the table. "Craved some candy and a good movie."
He sends a funny sticker, also snapping back a video of him laying in his bed, might I add, shirtless. He pans the camera to show his own empty room, hearing his TV blare in the background. "Ohh so captain gets his own room?" I text, teasing him.
I smile to myself. If anyone else was in this room, they probably think I looked like a giddy teenage girl, texting her crush.
"What room are you in?" He replies, and my heart stops for a second. Why does he want to know that? Does he want to come here? I mentally panic before, getting it together and telling him what number.
"311 why?" I ask.
"You'll see." He replies, and I shoot up from my position. Is he actually coming to my room? At almost ten o'clock? I neglect texting back, running to my bathroom, fixing my hair and putting on some sweatpants underneath my oversized shirt. I take my time, just in time for a knock on the door.
I calmly walk up to the door, placing my head against the door to check through the peephole.
It's hotel staff?
I open the door carefully, sticking my head out of the opening. "Hello miss! Your room service." I stare at him for a second, tilting my head before it clicks. Virgil wasn't coming over to my room.
No, he'd ordered room service for me?
I open the door wider, allowing the man to bring in the food, he leaves shortly after and I close the door behind him.
I grab my phone off the couch, walking up to the food that was ordered for me. Two charcuterie boards; one consisting of all sorts of fruit and the another one full off savory snacks.
This was the sweetest thing someone had done for me in a long time, it making me a little emotional. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought. I couldn't tell if it was my hormonal cycle changing or it was due to the fact that I genuinely was so touched.
My phone pings with Virgil sending messages.
"Did you receive it?" He asks. "I thought this would be better than eating unhealthy snacks."
I feel a single tear drop down my cheek, replying with a picture of my crying face. "Wait, why are you crying? Do you do not like it?" He texts and I feel more tears fall down.
"No, it's so sweet that you thought of doing this." I reply, wiping away the tears on my cheek.
"Come on anyone would think of doing that." He says, and I laugh to myself. He was either way too oblivious or trying to be humble.
"No, seriously. You're so sweet, thank you." I reply, along with a sticker of a cute kitten. He sends a sticker back, before telling me to enjoy the snacks along with the movie.
I suddenly get an idea.
"Do you want to come over? I mean I couldn't finish all this by myself.” I ask, a little nerve wracked, fidgeting with my necklace.
"Are you sure? It's late, and we have to be up early." He replies.
"It's fine come down!" I text back, before dropping my phone on my bed and running to pull on some more appropriate lounge wear, this time knowing he'd come over for sure.
My phone pings a couple minutes later and I open the message. "I'm at your door." I read, before hearing a knock.
"I'm coming." I say, a little quieter too not wake up everyone on my floor. I swing my door open, revealing a very relaxed looking Virgil, in gray sweats and a black T-shirt. The dream combo, I hold back a laugh.
I notice how good his hair looked, his waves done neatly. Did this man just take his durag off or? His hair always looked freshly done, no matter what.
"Hey." He mutters. A pretty smile on his face.
"Hi." I whisper back, returning the smile as my dimples show. I step aside, making way for him to enter my room, and closing the door behind him.
40 notes · View notes
defiledtomb · 2 years
Text
Ouroboros: Progress
Tumblr media
I haven't written one of these in forever, so it's slightly clunky, but I aim to have one of these out at least every quarter, if not monthly. Let's dive into it! Spoiler warning for the sneak peeks at the bottom.
What I got done since last month:
After the update drop, I took some time off the main story to prevent the budding burnout. I’m sure you are well aware of my malaise by now- it's a constant effort to stay on the tightrope.
I don't think I brought it up explicitly but when I started writing Ouroboros it was me riding the high of becoming a person again right after years long sick leave and battle with mental health, meaning that while I am absolutely thrilled that I'm getting so much out of life again, that fragile part of me still lives on and I have to take care not to let it get the best of me, and that means constant vigilance and self-compassion. Writing a project this big could easily be a full time job on its own, but I also have to account for going back to the workforce after being gone for so long. It's tough! irl work/life keeps amping up and will continue to eat my energy. Though, come summer, I might actually have some good news on my schedule and how my writing will fit into that. Fingers crossed.
Otherwise I have really enjoyed interacting and goofing around with you on tumblr again, and I’ve had a blast just reading and playing games. It was a very welcomed break. I still got a lot done regarding Ouroboros:
- Got started on all the short stories you voted on, and built the framework of code for how stories will be unlocked as you progress the story. 
- I got some much needed help with setting up a side-blog for writing content only; it’s getting there! Soon Ouro will have its own space.
- I added about 3k words to the next chunk of act 1. A drop in the ocean, but progress is progress. 
- I started sneak-writing on the next act and specifically, the underwater/caving chapter. I am so excited for it! Besides writing and hiking, diving and caving are core parts of my interests. (Didn't I once say that Ouro is disgustingly self indulgent? x] Because it sure is.) 
What’s next:
I am still taking it slow, since most of act 1 pt2 is already written  (60k words ish), and I have some responsibilities I’m gonna need to devote my time to. My goals for February are leading up to Ouro’s first anniversary, so I want to prepare something fun for us to enjoy! If it will be a chunk of update or something else remains to be decided. On the 8th of March we ride.
My priorities for February are:
-having fun with the short stories
-get the sideblog up and running with a new FAQ and character pages, and a new intro post.
-solidify the code and scene transitions for the next update 
- (stretch goal) edit/rewrite/add to the unhinged mess that the next update still is 
 Re: bug reports
Thankfully, last update was relatively bug free, but there are still a few reports sitting in my inbox waiting for changes, mainly
-the egregious oversight of having id's romance scenes appearing although the hunter is committed to L/not in the poly. More on that here.
-the questions with Iontif cutting off short in one path
-a section of the flashback with wrong pronouns + other pronoun variables not displaying correctly (the bane of my existence!!)
Thank you to those who reported these, I always note them down if I don't fix them directly. The reason why I am almost always tardy on bug fixes is because I'm treating this as a first draft that will be rewritten; it makes little sense to dedicate so much time to fixing things that will need to be fixed again. I do them when I have little else I want/have to do. I'm sorry! Triaging problem areas is essential to keeping this show going. I hope that it isn't too invasive to have a few errors in the scenes; rest assured that they will get fixed (eventually 🤡)
Re: save system
Something that has really bothered me lately, is thinking about CoG's obstinate refusal to implement save systems. I absolutely won't release Ouroboros without one, as with how much variation goes into the story (and knowing from first-hand experience playing large games, that one miss-click (or that horrendous bug that chooses options for you if you even look at it wrong) will have you go down a path you didn’t want, or you are faced with starting over, which sometimes leads to such fatigue that you just…stop playing.) it feels like shooting yourself in the foot to not have one. And worse, it feels plain cruel to subject the reader to that. There isn’t any possible way to fit every nuance of a choice into the box-text, or to imply a delayed outcome as a result of making a choice that seems very “innocent” at first glance.
So I stand before a really difficult decision; either code a save system from the bottom up, and I would have to do that sooner rather than later, or port the game to twine which brings its own bundle of problems. Right now I honestly no idea what I want to do, and I have to admit that it fuels a bit of writer's block as I feel locked in place until I come to a decision. Heurgh.
Now for the fun part. Sneak peeks!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I wont share the latter parts as they are still... Unhinged. But the next update isn't just romance, its weapons and insidious cults and fighting, too.  More on that, later.
Thanks for your support, your kind words and for sharing your journey in Ouro. It means the world to me. I’m serious!
127 notes · View notes
nenilein · 1 year
Text
Drama CD #7-3: Yu and Rei’s Lingering Regrets? (ENG)
Tumblr media
[DISCLAIMER: This translation was made by me! Feel free to repost parts of it or the entire text wherever you want as long as you credit the translator correctly!]
Happy Birthday, Yu and Rei! To celebrate the occasion, I decided to finally post this translation here! (It was previously only available as a Google Doc)
_________________
INTRO
Yu: Yu and Rei’s… dwindling outlets!
Rei: …Lingering regrets.
-
STORY
Yu: Hey there, I’m Yu! And I’m here… to haunt the pants off of you!
Amitie: EEEK! Don’t just jump out and scare me like that, geez!
Yu: Hey, young lady over there! Won’t you come and join us on our skyward vacation as a whole new ghost!?
Raffina: No thank you! As if I would ever lower myself to becoming something that can’t have these beautiful legs! 
Yu: Heyo, nice girl over there! Sorry to just pop in but here comes a POP QUIZ!
Lidelle: Eek! W…W-W…What is it about…?
Yu: What never eats and never sleeps, and yet always stays full of energy and healthy!?
Lidelle: Um… well… That’s, uh…
Yu: The answer is: A ghost! So it’s time for you to become a ghost too! 
Lidelle: N…Nooooo! Please, stop it! 
Yu: Oho, young man over there! 
Sig: GOODBYE.
-
Yu: Whoa, today sure was fun again! Right, Rei?
Rei: Yeah. Sure was.
Yu: Right! So, so, so! Let’s keep at it! Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow! As long as I’m with you, Rei, life as a ghost will never be boring! 
Rei: Hm…
Yu: Huuuuh? Rei, what’s wrong…? You look like you’re thinking about something.
Rei: Yeah, I guess I’ve been thinking… a bit lately…
Yu: Well if that’s how it is! Never fear! For Yu is here! Doesn’t matter what it is that you’re wondering about! I’ll have it figured out in a jiffy! 
Rei: So, why… Why are we ghosts…? Is what I’ve been wondering…
Yu: Huuuuh? What’cha mean? 
Rei: I’ve been a ghost as long as I can think… But, why? Why am I like this…? I just can’t remember anything from before… 
Yu: Hmmmmm….! Wow, you came up with some trivia even I can’t give an answer to!
Rei: Yu…
Yu: Alrighty, let’s go and ask someone who looks like they might know! 
Rei: Huh…?
Yu: Let’s go! Go! Ghost step ahead! 
Rei: Step… without legs…?
-
Yu: And that’s why we’re here! Hi there, Mr. Bespectacled Knows-it-All!
Klug: My name is KLUG! Gh… What are you here for!? Another pop quiz, perhaps? Or… You aren’t trying to make me into a ghost again are y-!?”
Yu: BZZZZZZZ! Sorry, wrong answer! Today we’re haunting you for consultation! 
Rei: …We’re consulting you.
Klug: A… About what…?
Yu: We’re asking: How and why did the two of us become ghosts?!
Rei: How and why…?
Klug: Huh? Why you two became ghosts? Hm… Let’s see… To my knowledge… It is generally believed that a soul is likely to become a ghost if it has strong lingering regrets and attachments left in the living world… 
Yu: Oh, I see! So maybe we just left some bread in the oven!
Klug: Regrets, not baguettes! 
Yu: Or maybe we never finished sewing all the sequins on that dress…!
Klug: Regrets, not paillettes!
Yu: Or maybe we had a favorite newspaper we never finished reading…!
Klug: REGRETS, not GAZETTES!
Yu: Just a few more of those twilit evenings…!
Klug: REGRETS, NOT SUNSETS!
Yu: Those powerful emotions left by an unfinished business, that tie us to this world!!
Klug: ONCE AGAIN! REGRETS, NOT REGRE– uh. Huh?
Yu: Ahahahahaha! You nailed that punchline, thank you very much!
Rei: Many thanks.
Klug: Argh…! You are driving me insane! I shall excuse myself now, goodbye!
Yu: And thus Klug left, trying to look as smart as possible! 
Rei: Because you did a number on him, Yu…
-
Yu: And thus we are now here, with that very certain girl, who probably knows a thing or two about all things occult, and another three or four about how to be just the slightest tad terrifying!!
Rei: Here we are…
Feli: The twin ghosts… What are you plotting? Did you come to let me exorcise you off this mortal coil once and for all? 
Yu: Aaaaaaahhh! She’s just as scary as e-ever! But, but! That’s not what we’re here for! 
Rei: Yeah. We’re not.
Yu: We come to you on this fine day because we’ve got a question to ask!
Rei: An important question.
Feli: Hm… That’s unusual of you. Very well. I shall let you speak.
Yu: You see! The two of us have no idea why we ended up becoming ghosts! 
Feli: And why in the world would I know that?
Yu: Whoa!! Talk about being rebuffed! Um, UM…! Oh! Then, then! Why don’t you try to read our pasts? You’re so good at fortune telling, I’m sure you can make it work somehow! 
Rei: …somehow.
Feli: I • Don’t • Want • To.  It is most likely for the better if you don’t know it, anyway.
Yu: HUUUUUH? Why, why? 
Feli: Well, let’s suppose you did find out. What would you do with that knowledge? 
Yu: Um, well… It’s just that Rei…
Rei: I want to know. It’s… always been bothering me.
Feli: Whatever. Go home. Don’t keep  thinking about these things.
Yu. HUUUUUH? Ah! I get it! You just can’t do it! 
Feli: …Heh?
Yu: I’m right, right? You don’t know the truth, AND you don’t have any faith in your ability to divine it, either! That’s why you don’t wanna tell us!
Feli: What did you just say?! …Well, if you are going to insult me, very well! Just watch me! I shall peer into the fate that befell you • In • The • Past… 
[magic noises]
Feli: KiiiiiiAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[magic noises]
Yu: AAAAHH! She’s doing something!!
Rei: She is.
-
Rei: Hey, Yu! Yu! What’s wrong? Aw, why are you holed up back here all on your own again? 
Yu: R-Rei… I was just reading a book…
Rei: Oh, c’mon Yu, the weather is so nice outside! Let’s go out and play together! What else do we have so many friends for?
Yu: Um… I… uh… I am more comfortable… back here… where it’s quiet.
Rei: Huh? Really? 
Yu: And… uh… The others might just call me… ‘depressing’ again…
Rei: I’m sure they won’t! And if they do, I’ll protect you! I’ll always be by your side, Yu, so don’cha ever worry! 
Yu: You’ll… always be with me…? Really?
Rei: Sure! We’re twins! As long as we’re together, there’s nothing we have to be scared of!
Yu: Y…Yeah. You’re right. As long as I’m with you, Rei…
[magic noises. There is a scene transition.]
-
Rei: Huh? Why does my body feel so light all of a sudden? Yu…? Yu, where are you?
Yu: I’m here…
Rei: Yu! You’re floating! 
Yu: Ahahah… You’re floating too, Rei.
Rei: Yu… What’s going on…?
Yu: What’s happened to us…? …Well, I don’t mind. Looks like we can still stay together, and that’s all that matters. And… I feel so light now… all that weight has fallen off my heart, too! 
Rei: We’re… together…?
Yu: I’m sure as long as we’re together, every day will be fun, no matter what becomes of us! Forever and ever! We’ll be HAPPY foreeeeever now!
-
[magic noises. There is a scene transition.]
Lemres: Feli… FELI!
Feli: Ah!
Lemres: Feli…
Feli (trembling voice): L…L-L-L-LEMRES!! W-Why are you… here…?
Lemres: I was just passing through, that’s all. I think you should stop this reading while you’re ahead. Okay? 
Feli: Y…Y-Y-Yeah… E-E-E-Excuse me…
Yu: HUUUH?! So, so! How was it?! What did you see? Tell us, tell us!
Rei: Please tell us.
Feli: Uh…. [she stays quiet for a while] …The divination failed. 
Yu: HUUUUH? 
Rei: Huh?
Feli: Unrelated memories… disturbed the flow of what I was trying to read…
Yu: Oh noooo…! Hmpf! HMPF!
Lemres: I guess even our Feli can have an off day sometimes. Alright, let’s call it a day! I’ll give you all some niiice, sweet chocolate, so let’s all go home, okay?
Yu: Oh sweet! Now I can’t stay mad. That chocolate makes me melt, like it’s melting in my mouth! …Hey, Rei, are you okay with that?
Rei: Um.... Yeah, I guess…
Yu: Alrighty, with that all settled! See ya next scare! Bye-bye! 
Rei: Bye-bye…
[They leave]
Feli: L…Lemres… I saw…
Lemres: Feli. 
Feli: Lemres…
Lemres: I guess you saw something really strange, huh? Maybe you still need to train your power more, so you have better control over it. 
Feli: … Yes… Maybe that is just it…No, I mean… I’m sure you’re right. 
Lemres: Aw, c’mon, don’t make that face. Come with me. I’m taking you out for some dessert. 
Feli: …! I’m coming! 
Lemres: As they say… chocolate makes you melt… hm…
-END
32 notes · View notes
spacecadetomoly · 2 years
Text
Matsuno Family Diary! Part 5: Valentine’s Day with Choromatsu! Get ready for Chocolate and Body Horror! (Unofficial English Translation)
The following is an unofficial English translation of an official short story released online for members of the official Osomatsu-san fan club. If you want to read the original Japanese version of the story or enjoy the other things the fan club offers its members please consider joining: https://osomatsusan-fc.com/
In the room of the Matsuno family sextuplets there is a notebook hidden away behind a bookshelf. This notebook exists so that the brothers may, should they so choose, express the deep feelings and profound thoughts which weigh upon their hearts and minds so heavily that they can no longer be contained.
It seems that today someone’s hand is once again turning the pages….
February 15th 2022, Choromatsu
My name is Choromatsu Matsuno. No, the one who used to be Choromatsu…
Now that I think about it, the day before, February 14th, that was the last day we were human…
First, it was Karamatsu.
Suddenly, he started emitting a sweet smell, and then his body twisted and melted. From his mouth, he uttered incomprehensible words “Ai Rabu Yoo, Yoo Rabu Mee”*
Next to go was Jyushimatsu, then Todomatsu, followed by Osomatsu. The last remaining holdout aside from myself, Ichimatsu, ran out of energy two hours ago.
I am writing this diary alone now.
My brothers, who have become chocolate monsters, have merged into one being. There’s no way of knowing which body parts belong to who anymore. Even now they continue to spit out words of love from their misshapen mouths.
How did we end up like this? I’ve developed my own theory: Perhaps… because we didn’t receive chocolates from anyone on Valentine's Day, the love within us became corrupted and turned into an enormous amount of negative energy, mutating our bodies into the very same chocolate we so desperately craved.
I too…probably won't make it. My hands are shaking. My eyes are getting misty. I want to write one last thing down. In order to not produce any more sad monsters like us….
As an adult, unless you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you don't get many chances to receive chocolate. We NEETs have even less so. So, all the virgin NEETs in Japan, please take action sooner.
Get a job immediately. It doesn't matter if it's a part-time job or whatever, just work in a place with a lot of girls. If there's a girl who likes holidays and events, she might say, "Let's all prepare chocolates and distribute them to everyone at work." If there are no girls like that at your job, get down on your knees outside. Then a kind person who feels sorry for you might give you some chocolate. If that doesn't work, make your own chocolates and get amnesia right away. If you have no memory, you might be able to delude yourself into believing the chocolates are from someone else. If that doesn't work disown your mother, then you could count any chocolates you receive from your mom as being from someone who isn’t a family member. If that doesn't work either then create a country where you are the king, and once you’re a king you can make Valentine's Day disappear! !
You don't want to do any of those things? Too bad, I’m afraid this is non-negotiable. I used to pretend that the custom of giving chocolates to each other on Valentine's Day was just a scam made up by confectioners. My brothers were the same way, and look where that got us.
We’ve all become monsters, and there’s no going back. If this is how it was going to end up, I should have been honest sooner. I should have been honest with everyone. If I had just asked for chocolate…
It's too late now.
If there are people reading this diary, I want you to do whatever you can to get chocolate.
If you can just get a single piece of chocolate, just one piece from anyone in any way, you won't turn into a monster…
P.S. The erotic book was not taken by me.
Translator’s Notes:
*I think what he’s trying to say here is “I love you, you love me”, Valentine’s Day-induced eldritch madness makes it challenging to articulate.
I like this one, it's spooky! And I'm a sucker for when forms of media that are usually comedic do something spooky, hence why I rewatch all of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes every year in October.
Up Next: Ichimatsu is a cat.
69 notes · View notes
womanlifefreedom · 10 months
Text
youtube
Shortly after he was released, Toomaj Salehi was arrested again. Prior to the arrest, he released the above video, in which he speaks about his experience in prison, including torture. I have copy-pasted YouTube's English-language closed captions below.
Hello friends, I hope you’re all well.
0:03
Today is November 26, 2023
0:06
This is the first video I am sharing of myself
0:09
Other videos being shared of me on social media
0:12
are from after my release in 2021,
0:19
when they imprisoned me for the song “Soorakh Moosh”
0:24
Sorry that I’m a bit late to pay my respects to you,
0:28
, there has been a little psychological pressure on me,
0:34
and I’ve been trying to fight it to get to a normal state.
0:41
In a picture you can show that you are doing well,
0:45
, it’s one second, you smile and take a picture,
0:48
but in a video, it’s very obvious how you’re feeling.
0:53
And I wanted to be feeling good, very good, when I came to speak to you, which I am now.
0:58
Firstly, and most importantly, I wanted to thank you all
1:03
for your spirit of support,
1:06
, not just because you supported me, but because you’ve supported anyone who has needed you during this time.
1:13
And you’ve shown a unity that I, myself, had never seen before.
1:19
Because you didn’t get tired, you didn’t forget us, , because you still haven't forgotten the people of Ekbatan
1:26
and you haven't forgotten the people who are still in confinement, you’re amazing.
1:32
This (your support) has been a huge thing, especially for me.
1:37
When I was in the detention center, where speaking is somewhat impossible, even with family,
1:50
because visits are very short and there is a guard next to you who doesn’t allow you to speak about just anything.
1:57
But even there, sometimes, I would hear some small news about your support of me and others
2:06
and this was very very very heartwarming for me, (it gave me) some fresh energy.
2:11
If these things didn’t exist, then just like the others who came there and were subject to psychological trauma, we wouldn’t have been able to tolerate it.
2:23
I speak of myself and the other political prisoners who came and went.
2:36
To be honest with you this is my first video, and it's a little hard for me.
2:45
There were a few points that I wanted to share after expressing my thanks.
2:50
One is that they are attacking me very very very hard now that they couldn't keep me in prison.
3:00
And it's because of you who saved me from there, and before that you saved my life,
3:06
, and one time in the year 2021 you saved me. You have saved me three times.
3:12
In a lot of places, they call me a hero even though I'm just a normal person,
3:16
but you are the heroes who saved me. I haven't ever been able to save anybody, anywhere.
3:23
So yes, now that they weren't able to keep me, they are trying like they have before, to assassinate my character,
3:32
by using slander but alongside lumpen suggestions.
3:42
Like, “he confessed” and “who did he snitch on?” Who did I even have to snitch on?
3:46
First of all, as for confession, what did I have to confess? Everything I’ve done has been on your phones, I wasn’t hiding anything to confess to.
3:56
Secondly I didn’t rap for them, the only thing I could’ve done is rap for them, which I obviously didn’t do.
4:04
No one I worked with musically was arrested before or after me, not directors, songwriters, or anyone else, no one who worked with me, no one.
4:15
I was severely tortured during the time of my arrest.
4:21
They broke my arms and my legs. They would hit my face and my head, so at first I would try to cover myself with my hands and they broke my fingers.
4:31
It’s not something fun to share, but the duration of it was very long.
4:36
One of the other political prisoners told me that the injection they gave me in my neck was most likely adrenaline
4:43
so that I didn’t lose consciousness and was made to feel the full possible extent of pain and to suffer it fully for the whole duration of the torture.
4:58
And regarding confession, I didn’t even give up my page.
5:00
On the last day my family was waiting for my release from 9-10am.
5:06
First they didn’t release me from Thursday to Saturday
5:09
which is not right according to the laws of the Islamic republic, they couldn’t keep me under temporary arrest for more than a year.
5:15
Even my 6 year sentence is against Islamic republic law, it’s illegal,
5:19
but when we would speak about their own laws to them, they would say “what are you saying?”, “what is the law?”, “we can do what we want”.
5:29
Anyway, on the last day, the Saturday I was released, from the morning for about 4-5 hours they took me to Mr Barati,
5:44
the judge for my case, and the investigator— although I don’t know what he does specifically, he was in charge of my case, or the highest person in charge of my case.
5:57
He was the one who gave the orders for my torture.
6:01
They were saying to hand over my page to them, now I don’t want this to be me storytelling,
6:08
but I was there for a few hours saying that I would stay there in prison and would not give up my page to them.
6:17
Although I should say that my pages still aren't run by me, they are run by Negin.
6:21
Negin is one of the people, just like all of you, who worked harder than anyone else, like as much as my father, for me, and for my freedom.
6:39
When I was gone there was a lot that happened, many people came forward and spoke on my behalf, claiming they were my relatives.
6:47
I came out with a message that I don’t have family besides my fans.
6:52
I was supposed to introduce a spokesperson, so I introduced Negin before my arrest.
6:59
Before I was arrested I had also chosen Mr. Raisian as my lawyer.
7:08
And I don’t think there are any more points, and I don’t want to talk too much.
7:14
Oh, but in regards to those who are upset that I am healthy now that I’ve been released,
7:18
if four months ago, when I was going from jail to prison, I had been released, of course they wouldn't say that.
7:28
My broken bones are from about one year and one month ago,
7:33
they have naturally healed by now.
7:35
Some of them are crooked
7:38
and they don't bother me that much but sometimes when i'm walking they hurt and shake and I limp a little in my leg.
7:44
Or my hands which bother me when exercising.
7:48
These past few days I got MRIs and went to radiology for x rays
7:53
and I’m going to get work done to fix my teeth over the next few days as well.
8:02
And that’s it, and it's ok, I hope this isn't upsetting for you, I don’t want to upset you by talking about these things.
8:11
They’re bones, they heal.
8:13
And so that I can start exercising again at a professional level and because I wanted to do some things with my boxing, I definitely have to have surgery on my leg.
8:20
Hopefully in the next week or the week after I have to have surgery on my leg and on my hand,
8:27
and after I’ll go back to probably that character that I wanted to be.
8:38
And that’s it, I want to thank you again once more, you’re amazing, you are the strength of our hearts.
8:46
I hope that really good days come for us, it might take time but I believe that we will reach it.
9:02
And I think we will build a very good and cool Iran.
9:07
You’re amazing and I love you a lot. I’m sorry for any sadness I may have caused you.
9:14
Oh and, I’m glad I remembered this before saying goodbye!
9:17
There was a video that I've seen recently being shared of myself, a video made by (IRI) Intelligence.
9:25
I’ll make one more point about the Intelligence agency after this…
9:28
There’s a video they’ve made and are spreading of me,
9:34
where it looks like I am looking at the investigator and saying
9:38
“first I’m sorry to you,”
9:40
even though I never said anything like that. I wasn’t talking to the investigator.
9:47
For 9 hours I was being interviewed and unfortunately it seems I've made one or two gaffs.
9:53
That person asked me something like,
9:57
for example, “if right now the mother of such and such person who went out (to protest) because of you and is in prison now, was in front of you, what would you say?”
10:05
and they edited it to look like I was apologizing to them, which is very laughable.
10:14
And that’s that.
10:16
I wont talk about my torture, to be honest it’s really traumatizing for me.
10:20
I made a complaint (sued them) in regards to my torture,
10:24
and one of the reasons for my complaint was to prove my righteousness so they couldnt say that I lied.
10:30
Because if I lied they could sue me again for defamation/slander.
10:38
I had other reasons for suing as well, like the side effects it could have, in my opinion.
10:44
I also complained about their media for the lies they told.
10:48
One of the lies was that Toomaj was sentenced to death but since he effectively cooperated,
10:53
they gave him six years instead. Why execution? What did I do to be sentenced to execution?
10:57
All that we did at that time was was stand up to the people who would torture people,
11:04
who would shoot people with ‘winchesters’ in the universities, as well as other things.
11:09
They shouldn’t have even arrested me.
11:11
They had no right to arrest me,
11:13
let alone keep me in solitary confinement for 8-9 months.
11:17
Subject me to white torture (sensory deprivation),
11:19
and in the beginning so much physical torture, and, well, other things.
11:25
And about the intelligence agency, i wanted to say, why should one organization be higher than the law?
11:31
The only thing above the law are only the people.
11:34
If they don't want certain laws they could change them
11:39
because the country is theirs, those laws have to be there to protect them,
11:47
and other than the people, no one person or organization should be above the law.
11:55
Intelligence is above the law in Iran.
11:58
Intelligence tortures people– I’m speaking of myself– illegally enters homes, destroys homes or whatever else that they want, and there is no one stopping them.
12:13
Intelligence comes to the investigator and tells them what accusations to make of me.
12:19
An investigator, who I won't name, but who comes to me in secret and tells me “don't write like that there, you aren't feeling well, you don't know what you're writing.”
12:29
In those first days when I was delirious.
12:32
I was unconscious for two days after they put me in a cell.
12:36
So that investigator, now I don't know if his beliefs align with ours or not, that's none of my business, but he has no will.
12:47
Why? Why should an investigator have no will? Why should intelligence tell him what to do/ not to do? Why should he be scared of intelligence?
12:53
Why should the deputy prosecutor be afraid of intelligence? Why should he have to come and ask how I'm doing in fear?
12:59
And ask me indirectly if they are torturing me there as well?
13:03
in jail, they didn't physically torture me but they did do a lot of emotional torture, which the explanation of is too detailed.
13:16
Why should intelligence be able to give orders to the head of the prison and say he has complained about us, make his situation worse in prison.
13:25
And be upset that the personnel in the prison like me, that they are my fans, 70-80% of them.
13:30
Now I'm not speaking about all of the personnel in all of the prisons in Iran, I'm just talking about the things that I've seen.
13:36
It is with pride that I say that 70-80% of the people working in prison are yours and my supporters.
13:44
They are one of us.
13:47
And that's it.
13:50
I think that's an important point that no organization should be above the law.
14:01
Thank you so much, there isn't more to say. you are amazing.
14:06
When the time is right I will come myself, take over my pages and be active again
14:12
but right now, I want to rebuild myself.
14:18
I hope you can give me that time and it doesn't upset you. You’re amazing, sincerely. See you soon.
8 notes · View notes
the-vibes-are-off · 2 years
Text
The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 24-27
Tumblr media
link to contents page: https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/1bqju41z4c8r
Did I say I was going to post weekly every Sunday? Yes I did. Have I lived up to that commitment? I have not. IN MY DEFENSE, uni has started up properly this week, I’ve been reading like 4 books at once this past week and its been vvvvvvvv hard. In my limited spare time I crocheted a bookmark for TWOK!! I used the same yarn as I did for my partner’s hat so its like there is a piece of him with me every time I read with is super comforting. All in all, I am just super exhausted this week so I am sorry for the late addition to the series.
Spoiler Free Zone:
The first couple chapters in this part were, honestly in my opinion, kinda uneventful. Not boring per say just kinda average.
24 just kinda felt like rehashing the same war stuff (again this could be that I’m more lalala silly little fairy in a mushroom house vibe than war n strategy fantasy vibe) and 25 was just a flashback (which structurally I love) that was like grrrr mean nobility
26 and 27 though were like descriptively and wholesomely more my vibe and I read SUPER fast 
***SPOILER BUFFER IDK IF THE SPACING IS WORKING BC ACCORDING TO MY PARTNER ITS NOT SO LIKE I AM SORRY IF THIS ENTIRE TIME LIKE SPOILERS HAVE BEEN RIGHT THERE ANYWAY LETS CONTINUE***
Spoiler Zone:
I quite literally tabbed two things in the first two chapters of this section, like I said like its not that it was bad it just like wasn’t great (for me anyway).
Like I get the for plot it is necessary for Dalinar to be turned down by Roion but the like collective narrative of ‘war is a game that is meant to be won’ and ‘soldiers are just pieces that can be sacrificed to win’ is something I personally dislike - again which is why I like Dalinar but like I need the other like lords or whatever to gain some originality 
I will say, the flashback did step it up - the description of the stalactites was very pleasing to me - but, while I am all for criticising narcissist in power positions, I feel like it could’ve been better in the way it was presented in the text. I’m not sure. Again its not that any of these plot points are bad particularly, I just think they could’ve been better executed. 
Definitely picked up after, the description of candles and fires at the start of 26 was so beautiful! As well as Dalinar fighting and the grace within it towards the end of the chapter was so cool - if there’s one thing I can commend Brando for its his style of describing things. 
Then, in chapter 27, everything I had tabbed was cute xD. Syl helping Kaladin at the apothecary? Absolute icon. I love her. And I CANNOT get over the bridge four friendships being built. All the singing and shit is so cute and just warms my heart, needed that cuteness this week.
P.S: I am so sorry this came late and if it sounds low energy at all. Having a tough week and encountered so many interruptions while trying to write this to the point it took me two days. Writing has definitely helped me relax a bit. I hope it can continue to do so.
Tab Count:
Cute <3 - 3
Fights - 1
Sad ;-; - 0
Death - 0
Cool - 2
Wtf wow - 0
Wtf Why - 0
Slay Quotes - 0
Love this! - 1
Hate this >:( - 1
Lore - 0
Tab Total:
Cute <3 - 12
Fights - 9
Sad ;-; - 5
Death - 4
Cool - 8
Wtf wow - 3
Wtf Why - 3
Slay Quotes - 14
Love this! - 14
Hate this >:( - 5
Lore - 6
30 notes · View notes