#aggressive larrying

[ifindus]

ik Larry flirts with absolutely everyone, but I love when he says something that actually has Chilled flustered 😅💖

[crispy-ghee]

i'm fuckin convinced that I would not want to be friends with like 98% of the Larry Bird fans who leave comments on youtube.

[zot3-flopped]

Louis has denied Larry once again!

Interviewer: Many people believe in the theory of you dating Harry Styles even though you describe this theory as ridiculous. Why is this conspiracy so famous?

Louis: What's tough is I've realised - I realised this some years ago - there is nothing I can say, nothing I can do to dispel that conspiracy. They are so intertwined with what they believe to be the truth now they won't actually see the truth for what it is.

I'd be lying if I - it does irritate me a little bit but it's just the nature of the job, I suppose. There are times when it gets a little bit far too personal within that whole space.

I've got my son Freddie; he's the most important person in my life. Occasionally, you know it kind of broaches some stuff that is kind of really unfair. It kind of just is this thing that exists now. There's nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say about it to stop people making up what they want to make up. So, so be it (shrugs)

[larrylimericks]

14Nov22

Some numpty, for just shits and giggles, Attacked H with fruit-flavored missiles; We love rainbows that fly, Just not into his eye— For fuck’s sake, don’t throw no more Skittles.

[cantquitu]

Have you seen any of the absolute lunacy on Seas blog at the moment? Wishing death on Harry, ranting and raving due to the fact Harry dressed up as Danny from Grease because...Louis also played him in a school production and its his favourite movie. You cant make it up, I dont think Harry has given Louis any real thought for 7 years. Her blog is a crazy place at the moment.

I haven't seen it, but if you had asked me to guess what her blog was like today...what you've described is exactly what I would have said :)

edit: ok it's even worse than I'd imagined! A literal parody!! :D

[sxftriina]

Rina who should I redesign first,,, Rina help you did this to me/j

HELP

I'm here to cause chaos and that's what I did /j

As for who you should redesign first.. Do Larry. Do the Lamp. He's a cool dude 😎 /hj

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[chopsueyseyelashes]

.

[shitapril]

very often see posts about how the one direction fans grew up to be formula one fans, and the more I think of it, the more it makes sense. putting aside the fact that almost all my f1 friends were 1d fans (were ? are lol), it makes sense that a fandom who's fuel was hyperfixating on boys living out their dreams shifted from one form of it to another.

tha being said, it got me thinking - how do the girlies translate to f1 ? and by girlies i mean what your kpop fan would call a "bias". for example, if i was a niall girl - who's my favourite now ?

so here's a silly little non-sensical analysis and comparison that should not be taken seriously at all :

firstly, the zayn malik girlies are definitely lewis hamilton girlies. both zayn and lewis come from humble backgrounds, were subject to vile, inhumane racial discrimination and hate - all while being arguably the most talented in their respective fields (I mean, you've heard zayn's high note in you & I, and seen lewis' 7 world championships). they're hardworking, pet-loving, very fashionable men who stay out of unnecessary spotlight for the most part, and step out once in a while to remind the world they're drop-dead gorgeous. the zayn girls are safe with lewis.

next comes liam payne - and here on you'll have to hear me out with my comparison of every racer and bandmate. liam and george russell are both aggressively british, unapologetically goofy and true to themselves (and i'm talking about liam in 1d not the one on logan paul's podcast). they're both very talented, highly regarded in their boss' eyes (toto wolff and simon cowell - this post is going to be interesting wow) and still somehow not an immediate fan favourite. this comparison also goes wonderfully well with the whole ziam and britcedes parallels.

thirdly, louis tomlinson. easy peasy. max verstappen. both incredibly blunt, dry humour, pr nightmares, do not give two single hecks. people either love them, or hate them - no in between. both incredibly talented individuals (louis wrote majority of 1d's discography, max has 3 world championships under his belt) and yet are discredited ("louis is only famous cuz of his bandmates and the band itself" and "max just had a good car"). the zayn and louis fued also parallels abu dhabi 2021 quite well aye ? (i'm going insane)

harry styles, no debate. charles leclerc - regarded as the pretty boys (the prettiest, their fans would insist i'm sure) and the most popular, the well-liked. both extremely talented without a doubt, but a little bit overrated, and victimised to glorify and support fan narratives. i know i sound like a hater - forgive me, not my intention. i like them both as individuals - their fans on the other hand (and no, not all, i know) are so blind-sided, so insane and cause so much unpleasantness on the internet. almost ironic, how the most amicable ones have the least liked fans lol. that aside though, if you were a harry girl, chances are you went from one fan-favourite to the other. i also just realised - this supports the larry and lestappen narratives - am i genuinely, honestly onto something here ? (i absolutely am not)

lastly, niall horan. now this one i'm sure will divide you all, but here you go anyway. lando norris. both babied immensely by their fans and bandmates/teammates alike - churchboy persona. the moment they shed the insecurity, suddenly bam everyone hates them (niall's mofo t-shirts, lando's frat boy tendencies, and saying things that the internet will not find funny), promising at a young age, yet somehow grew up to be called overrated. their fans are stubbornly loyal to them, defending them through all their rights, and wrongs. it makes sense to me. one smiley boy to another.

this probably makes no sense - but feel free to add your own comparisons, theories, and notes ! there's 5 of them and 20 on the grid, obviosuly disparity for me to go on and on and on about (for example, I see a little zayn girls to carlos girls pipeline, louis to fernando - oldest boy syndrome and all that) so let me know ! let's yap :)

[luciferlightbringer]

Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 6

Hi lovelies! Please be warned that this is a heavier chapter that discusses trauma and depictions of violence! I'm sure I'm going overboard with the warnings, but I'm just wanting to make sure I cover all of my bases here! xoxo, Dany

Chapter 5|Chapter 6|Chapter 7|Updated through Chapter 12

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 5.3k CW: Slowburn, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, protective "not-boyfriend" !Trigger Warning!: Physical violence, abuse, neglect, vague mentionings of underage sex work, drug use, torture, and drug dealing

The next couple of days seemed to creep by more slowly for the both of you, nothing drastic, just... slower, more... unpleasant. It could have been because of how good everything felt to be with each other, but at least for you, there had been another new factor.

You had still been seeing other clients while working for Lucifer, and sure, he took up the largest amount of time, but there were still others, some one offs and some regulars, and a handful of new clients. Most of them didn't give you much grief, but one of your newer clients had taken quite a shine to you, and wanted to see you more often. He was... ok...ish... not really. He was a little selfish, which was fine, but he also had an aggressive personality, and not the fun kind. He had not done anything "bad" to you yet, but he toed the line and that made you nervous.

This had not been as much of an issue until someone tipped him off that you did house calls it was Cynthhhhia, and in the last two days he had asked for you to go to his place, and he seemed to push the boundaries more outside of the brothel. Larry had always told you that if anyone made you ladies uncomfortable, that you could put them on your "No Kiss List", basically being banned from being scheduled with you, and depending on the intensity of the issue they could also get banned from the Lounge entirely.

Again, at this point, this newer guy, Jethro, had not done anything yet, so you still felt like you could handle him, but he was still a cause for some stress. The night of your next visit with Lucifer was a welcome one. When you got too Lucifer's, you pulled him into a tight embrace. He welcomed your hug, but noticed that it felt a little different, a little heavier than usual.

"Well hello to you too! Haha! Hey, you doing ok?" he said, looking at you with soft concern as your released him from your embrace.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" you smiled, trying to hide your stress from the day.

"Oh nothing, you just uh... felt a little tense is all," he said sheepishly.

"Oh! Haha, ya it's nothing. Just a long day. Lots of clients, lots of... you know," you said trailing off.

"Of course! Haha, how silly of me! Do you, uh... need a minute? Do you want to, like, take a bath or shower or something?" he asked, "By yourself of course! I'm sure a minute to yourself would be nice. Plus, I still need to finish up with dinner," he added nervously, he felt his checks tint pink.

You chuckled, you thought it was funny when Lucifer would overthink his statements and felt like he needed to clarify something.

"That sounds nice, I might just take you up on that," you smile.

"Great!" he smiled, "Chose any bathroom you like, dinner should be ready in like 30 minutes."

The two of you part ways as you headed to one of the close-by guest bathrooms and Lucifer headed back to the kitchen. Lucifer had some updates that he had wanted to tell you about from Charlie's meeting with Heaven, but he figured that could wait a little longer. Plus, he was now preoccupied by his own dumb comment.

'"You want to take a bath or shower or something? By yourself, of course!" no duh, you idiot! She understood that's what you meant, why did you felt like you needed to clarify that?! Why do you gotta be so weird sometimes?!' he scolded himself as he made his way to the kitchen. Lucifer definitely had people that would cook for him, but he liked that it gave him something to do sometimes while he waited for you to get there in the evenings.

Meanwhile, you drew yourself a bath and slipped into it. You examined the bruises on your legs and chest from where your earlier guest had bitten and grabbed you. You were normally all for kinks like these, but these feel more forceful, and therefore made you upset to look at. You hid your legs under the water and just floated in the big tub for a while.

You smiled to yourself again as you thought of Lucifer stumbling over himself 'You want to take a bath or shower or something? By yourself, course!' followed by that little nervous smile. It was cute, and it was funny that he kept forgetting that he could just request that if he wanted to. You wouldn't have minded, you honestly would have liked it. He would be so warm and soft, snuggling into your chest in the warm water. You realized you had only ever seen him down to a barely opened shirt, while he has seen you down to your lingerie, for a fleeting minute.

How odd it was, that he had been one of your longest running and most consistent clients and yet, you too had not been sexually intimate at all. It was nice, but also... a little disappointing? Why was that disappointing? Why did you care? And why did you actually like the thought of bathing with him?

Your thought process was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Uhh... occupied?" you said.

"There you are!" you could hear Lucifer through the door. "Jesus Christ, darling why do I have so many bathrooms?"

You shrugged, "Uhh.. cuz you're rich and its funny?"

"Hmm... That is true..." Lucifer chuckled on the other side of the door, "Anyways, dinner is ready whenever you are!"

"Ok!" you called out, and you started to get ready. As Lucifer walked away, he paused for a moment, thinking about how you were naked on the other side of the door.

He shook his head and kept walking, "Dude, stop it," he said quietly to himself.

A few minutes later, you were out, a toweling off your hair, back in your earlier clothes.

"How are you feeling?" said Lucifer as you entered the room.

"Much better, thank you," you said with a smile.

You and Lucifer sat down to eat, and Lucifer was finally able to tell you about the whole ordeal of setting up the Heaven with meeting the exhausting bureaucracy and drama of it all, and then... the aftermath of Charlie's meeting. Charlie had gone up with Vaggie, met with a bunch of the angels and seraphim, including Adam, the first man and leader of the yearly exterminations, and his right hand exorcist, Lute, and... it did not go well. Charlie had gotten them to start actually start thinking about the whole issue, then Adam dropped the whole "extermination" thing on the counsel, and most of the angels in the room knew nothing about the extermination of souls in hell! Consider the tea, spilled. Then on top of that, the council said their was not proof sinners could be redeemed, and Adam basically declared war on the Hotel.

Well, this was very stressful, but in a way that made you care more and made you forget about your worries from earlier in the day. You thought about Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel... everyone at the hotel... You were wondering how they were feeling, how they were going to get out of this. So much for your idea about moving into the hotel. You chuckled to yourself.

"What is it?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh... it's stupid," you say with a wave of your hand, Lucifer gives you a look. You sigh, "Just... puts a little damper on my daydream to try out the hotel."

Lucifer cocked his head to the side, "You were thinking about moving to the hotel?"

You sat back and shrugged, "It was... a passing thought. Nothing serious. I realize that probably would have made things complicated, it's probably just easier this way."

Lucifer studied your face, "Maybe after the next extermination, see what happens. I just don't want you to get caught up in all of that right now."

"Ya," you say, staring off. Your worries returning back to thoughts of Charlie and the others.

Lucifer read the concern on your face, and placed a hand over yours. You looked up to meet his soft smile.

"It's gonna be ok..." he said with hesitation. "I don't exactly know how it is going to be ok, I would be lying if I said it wasn't nervous... but I trust my daughter... and her friends seem to be good people... outside of Alastor," his glared off to the side at the mentioning of the Radio Demon.

He was right, maybe not all hope was lost, maybe Charlie would figure out something. You smile at the face he made, then looked down at his hand on top of yours. Your face shifted in thought in response to something he had just said, "her friends seem to be good people..." Did he really believe that? Did that visit really change his mind that much? That's not what he had made it sound like the other day. You had forgotten about that comment, and now the reminder left you with a bitter taste.

Lucifer looked over and caught your expression, "What's on your mind?"

You look at him sideways, "Do you really believe that? That her friends are good people?"

"Well... as far as I have seen, why do you say that?" he said with worried confusion.

You look up at him, "I just thought that sinners were all violent psychopaths, hell-bent on causing as much pain a destruction as they can."

Lucifer froze, shit did he really say that the other day to his daughter, in front of you and all of Charlie's friends? Yeesh.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Jeez, I really did say that didn't I?" You gave him a slow judgmental nod. He sighed, "I... I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that... I'm sorry... I realized that I have never really taken the opportunity to actually get to know many sinners, and I've passed a lot of judgement on them the last... 10,000 years. They are not like that... you, are definitely not like that... Honestly, meeting you has made me really confused on the matter of how they decide who ends up here entirely."

Your slight distain turned you curiosity, and you raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

Lucifer took a minute to try and find the words, "Uhh, well... fuck, ok... I guess I just don't understand why you are in hell in the first place. The way you treat people puts people I used to know in Heaven to shame."

You blow a puff of air out your nose in a laugh, "Maybe the way I treat you and hotel people, I'm not like this with everyone, you know?"

"Well ya... but still..." Lucifer held back his next question a moment, he didn't want to say anything to upset you. "Can I ask... um... how you ended up here?"

You prop your head up on your hand and thought, being alive felt so long ago. Lucifer waited nervously for you to answer, but he was pretty sure you didn't look mad at the question.

"You really wanna know?"

He nodded.

"Well... I was the oldest child of drug addict parents, who had no right having any kids, spent much of my life fending for myself and my siblings, my parents would not stop having fucking kids and I was basically the only parent for them. I had to do... whatever I could for them, steal from neighbors, stores, random people's cars, anything to get food and money for my siblings. When I was older, my grandmother got custody of us and it got a lot better, but we struggled a lot mentally and it was hard to shake the old habits. She had to knock some sense into me to stop stealing, but I could never get past the idea of needing to be the parent of the house. I didn't go to school until end of middle school, and when I started it was hard, I skipped school, never finished an education. I wanted to... but I was way too far behind by that point, and with so many kids, grandma couldn't get all of us caught up. I encouraged her to focus on the younger ones. I tried getting a normal job, but I ended up meeting shitty people and I get ended up selling drugs and my body to get by. It wasn't great but it made me money. I had bad and sub-par relationships, nothing great. During my last relationship, I was actually starting to learn about boundaries and shit, feeling like it might actually go somewhere... and then I was killed during a bad drug deal," you looked back at Lucifer casually as you finished your story.

Lucifer looked at you with so much heartbreak in his eyes. No pity, no belittlement, no tears, just sadness. "How are you still so full of kindness then? After all of that?"

You smiled, "Partly cuz I can act, but mostly because... everything stupid, reckless, or "sinful" I ever did... it was for my siblings. I always thought that I would damn myself to hell so that they didn't have to." You shook your head, "I sure did damn myself to hell, but... I don't know how successful I was, my siblings always seemed mad or annoyed with me... but... I just loved them all so much."

Lucifer stood up and wrapped his arms around you as you remained sitting, your head at his chest level. You were taken by surprise, but hugged him back, "What's this for?"

He released you slightly from his hug, and held your face in his hands. "If you gave your siblings even an ounce of the care you have shown me, I know you were successful, and I know they will never forget the sacrifices you made for them."

Your eyes go wide, 'Could it... could it be? Could he be right? Could you have saved them? Saved them from the same pain you endured? Could your actions have changed the course of their lives? Could you have saved them from a fate in hell?' Tears started to form in your eyes. 'No. No. No no no no no. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, no crying in front of Lucifer.' You rip your face away from Lucifer's hands and wipe your face before the tears fall.

Lucifer ached to see you tear yourself away and wipe your tears. Until this moment, he had never realized how much of a wall you had up, how much you protected yourself, how much space you gave to him and how little you gave for yourself. He knew the dynamics were weird, this not being a normal friendship and all. Those dynamics were starting to make him so frustrated, he just wanted to hold you every night and tell you how much he cared about you... but things were way too messy now. He had no idea how to untangle this, and emotionally vulnerable conversations did not seem like the best idea right now with everything going on.

"Sorry," you say as you finish wiping your tears, "Thank you, really, I mean it. I'm just... not used to that."

Lucifer smiled, "Well... I hope this can be a good... beginning to that..."

'Nice job Lucifer, fucking nailed it, idiot.' he thought you himself.

You laugh, he laughed with you. Alright, enough of that, time for some tv and snuggles. You also remembered another question you had for Lucifer from you day at the hotel. You asked Lucifer about how he could teleport, and asked if the driver was necessary or if he could just pick you up from your apartment for your evenings together. He didn't know why he hadn't thought about that before, he had been worried about people following the car back to his place, or bothering you, and that would make him feel better. Plus, it would be cool to see your place. You guys made a plan for him to just teleport in to grab you in the future.

______________________________________________________________

The next couple of weeks were a weird mixture of fun and stressful, Lucifer started teleporting in to get you right at your set meeting time and he got to see your place. It was... small, really small, and there wasn't much to it. He made a comment oh how "minimalist" it was, but you just said you didn't need a lot, you weren't used to much, which wasn't completely a lie, but you didn't want to worry him with images of the other girls trying to break into your room.

Outside of that, Lucifer had the added stressors of worrying about Charlie, the hotel, and the upcoming extermination/war with Adam. You would go a visit the hotel crew with him often, but it only seemed to ease his mind while he was there. He started to complain again about struggling a little with sleep, he would fall asleep fine, especially with you there, but he started having nightmares that would wake him up in the middle of the night and would make it hard for him to fall back asleep. You were frustrated that you did not know how to help him with that, but you also knew he could take care of himself. You couldn't fix all of his problems.

You on the other hand... had reached a boiling point with Jethro. He continued to ignoring safe words, become more controlling, manipulative, and aggressive, until one day you had enough. You stopped the scene you were in and told him that he would not stand for his behavior anymore. Jethro did not like this, and you left his house with a black eye, as well as several other bruises across your body, may be even a sprain. You ran back to the Lounge as quickly as you could, trying desperately not to cry in public.

You got into the Lounge and ran up to your room to hide. Luckily, one of the girls you were closer to saw you, and told Larry. Larry texted you, asking what happened and if he could come up to talk to you. You agreed. Larry came up to your room, you opened the door for him to see you in tears, covered in bruises, trying to ice your eye. You told Larry what happened, and he told you he was putting Jethro on your "No Kiss List", banning him from the Lounge, and that he would handle Jethro if he tried coming back in.

You thanked him, he patted your shoulder, and asked if you wanted you clients canceled for the rest of the day. You asked who was left for the day, and the only one left was "Lance". You shook your head, just asking that no walk-ins get scheduled with you between then and now so that you could be ready by "Lance's" appointment. Larry agreed, and left you to your wounds. You had no idea how you were going to pull your yourself together and hide this all from Lucifer by tonight, but you had to try.

You went into the bathroom, ran a bath, played some music, and cried, partly from the pain, partly from fear. You were so in your head from the experience, that you did not do as well keeping track of time. Before long, Lucifer teleported into your room. Lucifer was a little shocked to not see you in your room, but then he heard the music from the bathroom. Oh ok, you must have been just running a little late.

He want to go knock on the door so that he knew you were there and didn't surprise you, but then he heard something else from the bathroom that made him stop. Was that... crying? Was that part of the music or was that you? He waited, the song changed, and the crying continued. That was definitely you. He finally knocked.

You were startled by the sound of the knock, "Uhhh... occupied?"

"It's me darling, I hope I didn't startle you," you heard Lucifer's voice through the door. You picked up your phone and looked at the time. Shit! You quickly got out of the tub.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, uhh... I must have lot track of time. Busy day. Lots of clients. Uhh... I'll be out in a minute!" you say has you hurried to get dressed. Luckily, you had already brought your clothes into the bathroom with you, so Lucifer wouldn't have to see all of the bruises.

"No rush! You take as much time as you need," Lucifer called back, then he went to go take a seat on your couch.

His words made you feel a little better, but you did not want to keep him waiting any longer than you already had. You quickly did what you could to put on makeup to cover up the big bruise around your eye, you could cover the coloring just fine, it was the swelling you were worried about. It had gone down a little, but it might still be noticeable.

Part of you wishes you had canceled on him, but that would have made you sad more than anything else, and it probably would have worried him. That is if he actually cared about you. Errrr... stop that. Lucifer is not like Jethro or the others, he actually does care, at least... to some amount. You just did not want anyone to see you like this, but especially him.

Eventually you finished your makeup and looked at yourself, it would have to be good enough for today. You painted your best sweet smile on your face, and walked out the door.

"All done! Ready to go?" you said cheerful.

"Yup!" Lucifer said, trying to match your cheerful tone, but he was worried. Why had you been crying? Why were you now trying to hide it? Why were you wearing so much make up today? He hadn't seen you wear this much make up since the first few appointments you guys had. He remembered that Charlie once said girls sometimes wear more make up when they were sad because "If you look better, you feel better", so he didn't comment. He just smiled, wrapped an arm around you, and teleported you both back to his place.

You were already more relieved to be back at his place, the stress of the day still held tightly to you, but it was better here. You swung your arms around Lucifer, enveloping him in a hug. Lucifer held you back tightly, softly but firmly. He was so comforting and soft, you wanted to live in that embrace.

He didn't know what was making you so sad that day, but he wanted to do everything to make you feel better. He had your favorite dinner and dessert made, grabbed you your favorite blanket for when you guys would cuddle on the couch and watch tv later, and he was going to find that tv last that you said you used to like to watch sometimes when you were alive, "The Office."

At one point, during desert, Lucifer looked over at you and saw a strand of hair flop down front of your face. He reached over to tuck it behind your ear, but because of the angle, you didn't see his hand until it was almost near your swollen eye. You flinched and practically jumped out of your chair, shouting "No!" and covering you eye with you hand, the other was wide with panic.

Lucifer flinched his hand back, and stayed still. What was that about? You had never reacted like that before.

"Darling, is everything alright? I didn't mean to startle you," he said softly, worry painting his face.

You realize you had misunderstood what he had been trying to do and panicked, 'Shit! Shit, shit, shit!' You couldn't tell what was the greater emotion in that moment, the shame of reacting to Lucifer, or the fact that the emotions from earlier where about to bubble up again. 'Do I try to push it down? Do I run for the bathroom? Shit. There is no hiding it, is there? He is going to find out about it now.'

You start to sit back down, still covering your eye, "I, uhh... I'm sorry... I don't... I didn't mean to yell at you like-"

"(y/n)" Lucifer said firmly, you look at him with your uncovered eye, tears starting to fill up the edge of your vision, "Please. Please tell me what's wrong. Why are you covering your eye? What made you jump so hard?"

You start to breathe heavily, "Are you sure you want to know?" you say with tears in your voice.

"Yes, my darling, I do. More than anything," Lucifer said, standing up slowly to come closer to you.

You look down, breathe, and lower you hand. Now that he was looking right at your eye, he could see how swollen it was under all of the make up.

"Is that... a black eye?" he said panicked. You nodded. He started to put some context clues together.

"Someone did this to you?" he asked, a little more sternness in his voice. You nodded again, the tears were starting to fall. "Someone from the Lounge?"

You nodded, "A client," you whispered.

"Did he do anything else?" he asked, trying to hold back the growing anger in his voice. You nodded. "Can you show me?" You froze, looking down, more tears falling, "Please don't be mad at me, I didn't want you to know, this shouldn't be something you worry about-"

"Darling," he says cutting you off again, "I am not mad at you, I am however mad at the sick fuck that did this to you. And I will worry about you, because I want to. Do you understand me?" You were not used to hearing him talk like this, it was scary, but in a comforting way. His words were growing in anger, but you understood it was not at you, it was for you.

You look up at him to see that his eyes had changed color, basically inverted, black slitted pupils now surrounded by golden irises and deep blood red sclera. They were terrifying and beautiful at the same time. You nodded, finally answering his question, and you started to take off your sweater. Lucifer saw your arms and torso littered with different sizes of bruises and deep bite marks. At the sight of them, horns grew out from his temples and a tail lashed out from his back. Again, he looked scarier, but for some reason, you were not afraid. You actually felt... safe? You had never seen someone so mad for you before.

Lucifer gently and slowly reached out for your arm, trying to make sure not to scare you further. "Is it like this on your legs too?" You nodded. You were about to ask if he needed to see them, when he pulled you into a tight hug. You were confused, but welcomed it. His hugs were always nice but this one felt, even better? All of your bruises and bites started to feel, lighter, and then the pain was gone. Lucifer released from your hug, and you looked down to see all of your marks were gone.

'He could heal too?! Fuck, is there anything he can't do?'

"Better?" he asked. You nodded. "Good, now. I'm gonna need a name and location. Now." he paused, "please."

You hesitated, you weren't supposed to tell anyone who you had been meeting with. But... he had not specifically asked for digression, and he was banned from the Lounge, and it would probably save Larry and the girls some trouble, and... fuck it, it was hell! Who cared!

"What are you going to do to him?" you asked. He smirked with a wicked smile, carefully reached out to softly hold your chin, and with a demonic resonance to his voice, he whispered, "Why darling, I'm going to make him suffer in a way that this realm has not tortured and tormented a soul in EONS, I am going to rip him his own dimension of time and space where he will be able to experience his body being ripped apart, piece by piece, and put back together, over and over again, for the rest of eternity."

You had no idea how to picture that and you didn't care... it was terrifying, but Lucifer's power was fucking HOT.

"Uhh... Jethro Hanson. Big house out in Pentagram city, near the inner city, very bright red, can't miss it," you spit out. He smiles, unfurls his six, big, beautiful wings from his back, gives you a soft kiss on the hand and says, "I'll be right back," before opening a portal above him and flying into it. It closes behind you and leaves you alone, in the dining room.

Your heart was racing, there were too many feelings swirling inside your mind, joy, sadness, rage, fear... lust. God, his full demon form was hot, what the hell? After a few minutes, the adrenaline wore off, and you found yourself on the couch starting to cry again, but this time... it felt GOOD. These tears were cathartic like nothing you had ever felt before, a hard, powerful cry.

After about 15-20 minutes, Lucifer reappeared, the same as he looked when he had left, just wiping his hands on themself after a job well done, as you would after a job well done. Lucifer heard your cries and ran to you, getting in his knees in front of you on the couch and cocooning you in his wings.

"Darling, what's the matter? I'm so sorry, did I scare you?" he said with words full of worry.

You shook your head, smiling and pressing your forehead to his, "No. Not at all. I'm just... I'm good. Really. I'm just not used to... feeling cared about, and... protected..." You choke out, before continuing to sob.

'Shit, shit, ok, what do I do?' he thought to himself. Then he remembered. He retracted his horns and tail, set his eyes back to their normal color, picked you up, laid down on the couch, and positioned you to lay on top of him, your head on his chest, wings wrapped around you. As you laid there, he rubbed your back as you continued to cry. "And as long as I am here, you will never have to know life without that, ever again," he said softly, so softly that you couldn't make it out over the sound of your own sobs.

Slowly, your tears started get get quieter, and your breathing started to slow. As Lucifer laid there with you on his chest, he started to card his fingers through you hair. What a dream you were to him, he had be so cared for by you, and now he was able to give that care back to you. That was honestly all he had wanted, was to have someone to be cared by and for. To have... someone to love.

Love?

Love.

'Oh my god... do I love her?' he thought at he looked down at your soft face. Studying the features of your face as you laid on his chest with this new idea, everything suddenly made sense. The nervousness, the desire for closeness, the way you lit up his world, the way your smile would wash his cares away.

He loved you.

That was about to make everything wayyyy more complicated.

______________________________________________________________

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[akoichoi]

Please start on Pheonix being the repressed one between him and Edgeworth. I beg. (I agree wholeheartedly but I need need NEED to see someone else talk about it lmao.)

oh sure, absolutely

y'know i'm always thinking about how opposite some of their character traits seem to be between canon and fanon. (which is a whole 'nother subtopic in itself) I'm always ready to talk about Phoenix being a pain in the ass lmao

i've found that the most damning evidence is literally in Phoenix's dialogue. tbh the only reason why Phoenix seems to be such an open book is because he's the only character whose inner thoughts and private monologues are bared to the audience. A lot of his expressive thoughts are just... thoughts. So what do we actually know?

This guy has secrets on secrets. You're telling me his lifelong friend Larry had no clue that he was agonizing over a childhood memory (about their mutual bff) that changed the entire trajectory of his life?? Like how long did you stew in that one, Phoenix?

oh yeah, 15 YEARS.

He's got all these great friends that he knows so well, but nobody knows a thing about him or how he's feeling (and they've tried). I'm talking about his goals, passions, problems, history- whatever. Any time a person from Phoenix's past shows up, it's never until he's pushed to the edge before he's forced ready to share.

Much like when Edgeworth dies, Phoenix can't stand to think about him much less hear his name. Nor can he explain why he's so evasive, even when Edgeworth comes back from the dead. And then Phoenix is still being aggressive and dishonest about it. Maybe it'll take another 15 years until he's ready again.

In comparison, while Edgeworth is pretty secretive himself, he's always been pretty open about his reasons why and how he's feeling.

"I'm not doing this to prove I'm tough, or because I look down on you. I just don't want you anywhere near this case. Understand?"

For a guy that talks about unnecessary feelings, he's pretty vocal about 'em, even if they're spoken about in a roundabout manner. It's clear that he doesn't particularly like talking feelings, but he does.

I think people often confuse their overlying temperaments, Phoenix being more emotive and Edgeworth being more aloof, with their actual words/actions. Phoenix may be more talkative, but he's picky about what he likes to talk about and Edgeworth is a man of fewer words but he'll talk about things that are important.

[freakartack]

and who could forget dear ratboy

My popular opinion is that the koopalings are bowser's adopted children. My unpopular opinion is that they all aged up tiny kong style between the events of super mario world & new super mario bros wii and that bowser, suffering from empty-nest syndrome, wished for another baby turtle and soon got one courtesy of a very unfortunate stork. Junior's introduction to the koopalings was a little tense at first - particularly for Ludwig, whose unspoken assumption of succeeding the Koopa throne was immediately shattered - but once everyone got over themselves (including Ludwig, who never really wanted to rule anyway), Bowser Jr. was welcomed into the fold as yet another annoying baby brother.

Reasons bowser jr looks up to his siblings

Larry: knows all the shortcuts to wii games, helps him download secret cartoons without netflix

Morton: big teeth, physically impressive, nice to him

Wendy: highly aggressive demeanor to scare off potential adversaries

Iggy: scary as fuck, invents all kinds of crazy crap (inspired bowser jr to make the boss robots in super mario galaxies)

Roy: cool with the sunglasses, knows everything (i.e. if you ask him any question he will just make up an answer on the spot)

Lemmy: does not care at all what people think of him, gives good advice

Ludwig: "i don't know. he's kind of a nerd"

[vikkirosko]

Sally face gang with a reader that is shown as really emotionless and rude but is actually a giant sweetheart. They just have problems expressing themselves

Headcanons Problems with self-expression

🎮 Sal Fisher x Reader 🎸

You met Sal when he moved into a new apartment. You lived in an apartment a couple of floors below with your family and at first there was a bit of tension between you. You were cold in communication and even rude, and at first Sal was not sure that he should have tried to continue communicating with you, but after several attempts to communicate, he realized that you were not as bad as it seemed at first glance

You offered to help him when he needed it, and he soon found out that you were quite nice and the way you behaved at your first meeting was not because you really wanted to be rude, but because it was difficult for you to express your own emotions. Because of this, you had problems communicating with other people and you had few friends. However, Sal was able to see your true nature

You were a kind and sweet person, but it was difficult to see it at first glance. You knew yourself that you could alienate others with your behavior, but you couldn't help yourself, so Sal tried to help you. He knew what it was like when people judged you on your first impression, so he tried to help you show people what you really are

Thanks to Sal, his friends were also able to see the real you, but for you he remained one of the closest. He was the first person who could see your soul and you were sincerely grateful to him. Thanks to him, your life has become brighter and Sal has helped you show your real feelings better and not feel awkward

🎨 Larry Johnson x Reader 🎶

Larry has known you since you were a child. You lived in the same house and met when your family just moved there. You both had no friends and Larry decided to make friends with you, but at first you were cold and rude in communication. Larry couldn't figure out the reason for this until one day his mom invited your family to dinner and your parents told her that you were a little shy and had trouble expressing yourself, so you were acting cold

Larry was persistent and was able to find an approach to you, which is why when you got older he was the only one with whom you communicated openly. Larry knew perfectly well what a nice person you really were, but you communicated with those you didn't know well the same way you did with him when you first met. Because of this, some, even his friends, did not understand how you could find a common language at all, but he was always ready to help others find a common language with you

Even Sal was surprised to see how you, cold and rude, communicated so easily with Larry. Even though you were part of their company, it was hard for you to communicate with the others. Over time, you began to communicate with them more openly, and Larry was glad that you showed your true nature not only to him, but also to others, especially considering how difficult it was for you to express your real feelings

Larry knew that some people were wary of you because of your problems with self-expression. They thought you were rude, and some even feared that you were aggressive, and only a few knew the real you. Larry hoped that people would be able to recognize the real you

👓 Todd Morrison x Reader 📚

You and Todd met at school. He saw that you had no friends, that you always dined alone and even in the corridors they tried not to approach you. The reason for this was that you were cold and rude in communication. Because of this, many of your classmates shunned you. However, you and Todd were assigned a joint research project, so you started communicating, which made Todd get to know you better

As it turned out, you were completely different from what you seemed at first glance. You were kind, friendly and sweet, but you had trouble expressing yourself, which is why it was so hard for you to show people your real emotions. During the execution of the scientific project, you were able to make friends and continued to communicate after you passed the project

You often came to visit him and you and Todd got along well. He introduced you to the others and helped you get along with them. His friends were surprised, but at the same time glad that a new person had appeared in their company. You may not have been aware of what was going on at the Addison Apartments, but you were willing to help your friends even if you had to deal with ghosts and demons

Todd didn't tell you exactly what he and the others were doing, but you watched with curiosity as he did new unusual things, like the game console that Sal carried with him. There wasn't much you could do to help him, but at least you could keep him company

📸 Ashley Campbell x Reader 🏍

You and Ashley have known each other since childhood. Your families lived in the neighborhood, and you often played together as a child. At first, it was difficult for you to find a common language because you behaved coldly and could be rude to her. Ashley was persistent and continued to communicate with you, which gradually made your relationship better and she realized that you really weren't what you seemed at first glance

You were kind and sweet, but you had problems expressing your feelings and emotions, so you behaved like that towards others. It was because of your problems with self-expression that Ashley took on the role of your assistant and helped you communicate better with people. When she saw that you were having communication problems, she rushed to help you, for which you were sincerely grateful to her

Ashley made you more friends, but even as you got older, she was still one of the people closest to you. She saw what you really were like and tried to help you show it to others, realizing how much it was important to you

You and Ashley have been through many years and many difficulties together, and she was sure that even if the end of the world had come, you would have stayed together. Together, you could do anything, even despite all your difficulties. Ashley could always rely on you, and you on her

[imtryingandtired]

Episode ideas for a NATM series that should exist

- McPhee ending up getting fired as museum curator because of complaints from museum guests not liking him all that much and getting replaced with a much worse person, so Larry tries to get him back

- War breaks out between the Wild West and Rome exhibit despite Jed and Octavius being friends now and them having to try getting to the bottom of this sudden aggression

- A buzzfeed unsolved type group starts to believe the natural history museum is haunted and decide to have a lockdown type stream in it to catch ghostly activity

- Larry has some time off as night guard and his temporary replacement ends up being the worst, leading to them trying to get Larry to come back

- Obligatory body swap or Freaky Friday episode for the fun of it

- Larry gets to go back to the Smithsonian after they borrow ahk and the tablet for a exhibit featuring the gate of kahmunrah (new wax statue or his actual corpse), him and Ahk reuniting

- The anniversary of Wea and Teddy getting together comes up and the exhibits try planning the perfect date for them, going the slightest bit overboard

- Halloween special where Ahk discovers a lone statue in the basement while exploring and befriends them, only to find out no statues are actually down there and revealed to be a spirit

- Christmas carol type episode with McPhee as Scrooge

- Flashback episode to Ahks childhood and eventual death (also this episode focusing on his time at Cambridge)

- One of Larry’s invention prototypes get discovered by some big tech boss who wants to help him make it big in the industry, making the exhibits worry that he’ll leave

- Teddy ends up having to be taken away for repairs after fetch with rexy gets too hectic, but when he comes back he’s acting completely different and the gang try to get to the bottom of it

- Ahk decides to sneak out of the museum one night to see how much the world has changed since he’s been let out of his sarcophagus and shenanigans ensue as Larry runs around New York trying to find him

Leave suggestions for other episode ideas

[lovebeatriceplz]

My Larry Johnson headcanons 👻🎸

General and dating

- His room is a mess 24/7 but he's not a slob. It isn't like a health hazard but it's just never neat, something is always out of place.

- A huge sleepyhead, most of your dates are smoking sessions and taking really long naps together.

- He might appear scrawny to some but he can fight. He'd never start one, but blv he's going to defend himself or someone else. Not ruthless or brutal but he's got a nasty fist (he'll bite their ankles).

- Loves watching you get ready. Whether it's doing your make-up or your hair, or styling your clothes, he wants to watch.

- Once someone confused his eyebags with a smoky eyeliner look and asked him what brand. Now he watches tutorials on YouTube with Sal.

- Is a metalhead but is open and listens to all kinds of music, especially the ones that you recommend.

- He likes to experiment with kissing. Sometimes he kisses you like a royal and then he's inhaling your face😭.

- Can never go wrong with neck kisses though so he just goes for that most of the time. He also bites, but not like love bites more like a little Chihuahua, i digress.

- Has an old, beaten down pair of converse that he just refuses to toss out.

- Tells you everything, especially things about his dad. Sits up at night and talks to his father about you. When he can't do that, he'll talk about you with anyone that comes his way.

- Terrible at skating, popped his ass a couple of times.

- Is low-key down bad for you. Don't worry he's not a pervert, but he'll take any opportunity to get inside your pants.

- He's not a jealous person, like ever, for no circumstance.

- Has a nice singing voice but he prefers to play instruments instead, says he can feel the shit outta it more.

- Takes pictures of cats he see together and sends them to you, captioning it "us".

-Also takes pictures of you, you are 98% of his camera roll. He does it secretly as well, you could ask him "wait- when tf did you take this!?" And he'd just be like "🧍", i digress😭. Has a bunch of forehead pics.

- Supportive in anything that you do, not just you like anyone, his friends, his mom, anyone.

- Has no self - preservation and might self harm without realizing it's self harm. You have to stop him sometimes and help him to acknowledge his limits.

- Has really good hair genes. It grows back very fast, so when he impulsively cuts it (which happens often) it's back to normal in a good amount of weeks.

- First time he had s3x with you was... shocking?. Bro was hungry, not aggressive, just felt a little desperate. He didn't know he was touch starved until he met you.

- Thinks your drop dead gorgeous. Like he's mesmerized, and loves to just stare at you with those lazy eyes like your the best thing to ever happen to him.

[crispy-ghee]

Want to make a gif of Larry aggressively blowing a kiss but the only clean footage I can find of it is in a montage that was put together for his and Magic's joint lifetime achievement award, and I'm distracted by the fact that whoever edited this followed it with a clip of Magic puckering his lips.