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jooniperbonsai · 2 months

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Thanks for the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Three

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 14.9k

Release date: March 24, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: Now that Seokjin has agreed to come over and help you practice for your streams, you find there's a lot more you want to do with him than actually prepare for this stream.

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety and panic attacks HEAVILY referenced in this chapter, familial verbal and emotional abuse that might be triggering to some (slamming of doors, manipulative behaviors), references to puberty, implied chubby/fat reader, references to disordered eating (not main characters), references to oral (f), mention of sub drop, Seokjin is STRONG and the king of consent, lots of little domestic moments idk let's hope I didn't forget anything

a/n: Ahh finally, I'm so sorry it took so long to get to you. I have been very busy in my little corner of reality so I haven't had a chance to really dive back in for a while. I hope you enjoy more of the backstory to the characters in this one, I found pulling away from the spicy bits a little necessary so I could learn more about my characters as they grow.

I'll be in South Korea these next few weeks for my birthday, so I might be mostly offline but I'll enjoy looking at your comments, tags, questions, etc, while I'm away! Thanks for your patience. Enjoy! -h

This, she thinks, is goodbye. Her body sprawled in the silk sheets of August’s chamber, head thrust back onto the plush pillows. Never again in her life did she think she would see the dark beams of his ceiling again, yet now, her legs bent and open for him, his lips eagerly suckling her inner thigh, she couldn’t imagine life any other way.

How many times had she counted each knot in the wood above her, her eyes tracing the swirl and swell of the grain while August swirled the swell of her sex? Perfectly matched in this way, as if he were reading her like a map he’d crafted himself. He knew her. Knew all of her, how the heady moan leaving her throat now was a sign she was becoming impatient with his thorough ministrations.

She dared to risk a glance down, only to see him watching her intently, devilishly choosing that moment to latch himself onto her, a wicked smirk flashing across his face as she elicited a hearty gasp.

“August,” she breathed, instinctively tangling her fingers through his newly-raven hair, dyed dark now to comply with his family’s request. While his once-bleached locks were the definite sign of his rebellion, a sign that he would fight against the ruling state and their convoluted and asinine laws that prevented royalty from marrying a commoner, she admitted his natural hair suited him more. He looked less harsh this way, his delicate skin creamy and soft as she skimmed her fingertips across his cheek.

“No,” he breathed into her sex, sending a delightful shiver down her spine.

Something about the glint in his eye as he feasted upon her spelled out more than simple lust. No, she forbade herself to think that this was more than a parting gift, a transaction before she would be cast aside for his betrothed.

“Please,” she begged, though she knew she was asking for many things in that request. Please end the hunger between her legs, please end his engagement. Please take her to bed tonight and tomorrow and every night after. Please love me.

“Say my name,” he growled, sitting up to wipe his mouth with the back of his robe sleeve.

“August,” she called but he only chuckled darkly, the cool blue of the fabric cascading around him.

She felt so exposed. Here she was, completely naked, and yet he hadn’t even begun to undress. It felt cold, final, and sickening. Her eyes roved his body, looking for more skin, anything to keep her close to him at this moment, but he was so carefully tucked away.

“August,” she said again and he shook his head.

“That’s not my name,” he argued.

Her eyebrows knit together, and she reached forward, needing now more than ever to touch him. She was drowning fast in the night, the blue robes sweeping over both their bodies as he leaned closer, finally letting her grip his forearm as she groped around. He was drifting from her in one way or another, his body a boat on the water that was capsizing her under his waves.

“I–I can’t. I can’t see you. I–.” A rush of white hot panic surged into her throat, constricting her words. As she began drowning, August moved quickly, disrobing himself and pulling her into his embrace. She gasped for air as she wrenched out a heavy sob, her nipples stroking the soft hairs on his chest, yet she ignored the sensation instead for the thing she needed more: his heartbeat.

There, in his chest, was the melodic thrum that sought to calm her erratic one, calling her home to him in the cold night air.

“Breathe, Petal,” he commanded, and she felt a rush of air fall from her lungs as she remembered once more to do the most simple of human tendencies. His arms laced around her back, where the soft tracing of his fingers along her spine brought her back into herself.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, a prick of tears falling despite her best efforts to appear unaffected.

He hummed in response.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, and she felt her joints loosen as she molded herself further into his embrace.

“I want to,” she replied, voice unsteady. “Sugar, please just hold me.”

He melted into her, a pool of warmth overtaking him as he absorbed her nickname. He kissed her forehead, her temples, everywhere his mouth could spread some of the sweetness.

After long, she hummed a satisfied sound through her lips, and her hips began rocking against him. He laid her back down, his eyes searching hers before the corner of his mouth ticked into a smirk.

“You with me?” he asked, his smirk becoming a full grin as she bucked further toward him, desperate and wanting. He was back, the ever-changing prince who within a blink of an eye could transform the room into his sensual paradise.

August’s hand skimmed up her calf and back between her thighs, resting up against her heat.

“August,” she panted, and he chuckled darkly, the scar over his eye almost glowing in the moonlight.

“I told you that’s not my name,” he warned, sliding his fingers into her wet folds.

“Seokjin,” you said, his name caught in your throat as he continued moving.

“Good girl,” he coaxed, two of his fingers covering the edges of your clit as he began rolling it under his touch.

“Fuck.”

The wooden beams were gone. Now it was the familiar white plaster that you often looked at, trying to remember what constellations were above during what season, though you could never see the stars anyway in this part of the city.

Seokjin pulled himself up off the chamber bed, though the chamber was hazy, almost pixelated as you realized around you it was not the chamber of August and his beloved, but your small bedroom.

“Focus,” he commanded, and your eyes flashed over to Seokjin, who was naked and sweaty, his chest flush like it was when you’d seen him before. His fingers roamed over your calf and he lifted you leg at an angle, exposing your pussy to the cool air.

Seokjin licked his lips and began swirling his fingers around your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

“You gonna be good for me?” he asked and you moaned an affirmative as you felt the first of his fingers tip into you.

“Nuh uh, use your words, Y/N.”

You opened your mouth to beg but found no words could come out. He cocked his head, confused. Seokjin reached over to touch your face. You felt nothing.

“What–”

The plop of the book hitting the floor jars you awake. At some point in reading, you must’ve dozed off, your world and the book world merging into a hot, overwhelming dream that has your heart racing.

He’s in your mind again, Seokjin. And it really is all your fault. Because you’ve spent the rest of your weekend and the first half of this week texting him with a plan to put this After Dark stream into place, an idea that you hadn’t really thought through before proposing to him.

You know you want this, to feel at ease in your body and confident to hold your own on streams. Especially since the option to quit is becoming less and less of an option. This week, your university confirmed your withdrawal, meaning that for the next few months you’ll be focusing on streaming and working more shifts at the restaurant to try and replenish your income for the summer term.

And that also means you’ll be seeing Seokjin a lot more often. Your stomach does a tiny flip just thinking about it.

Now with him being around you everywhere, all the time, your subconscious has been drifting to dreams of him, and every waking thought is somehow finding a way to wiggle him in. At the market this morning, you were walking through the produce section where you noticed a large pile of mangoes on sale. Does Seokjin like mangoes? you’d wondered. That shirt on the mannequin would look good on Seokjin. That dog looks like the one in the old picture in Seokjin’s office. What would Seokjin think about this recurring ad?

It’s becoming relentless. So much so that you also find yourself asking him random questions to take the edge off.

Me 1:47PM: Thoughts about fruit on pizza.

Seokjin 1:50PM: Are you asking because we are having pizza later?

Me 1:51PM: No I was just wondering

Me 1:51PM: Unless you want that later? I can get us some

Me 1:51PM: I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:51PM: No you will not! I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:53PM: Also depends on the kind of fruit

Seokjin 1:53PM: Never had blueberries on pizza.

Seokjin 1:54PM: But I would maybe try it. Pineapple is fine though.

Seokjin 1:55PM: I’ll pick up the pizza on the way over. Be there at 6.

Seokjin agreed to stop by today to do some roleplay exercises for you to practice before your stream later tonight. He thought it was important that you run through the full scale of situations you might be presented with so you could say no firmly but without risking losing your viewership, two things equally at odds with each other for you most of the time.

You look for your phone in the mess of your couch cushions, assuming that at some point in your impromptu nap, it slunk down between the crack. Sure enough, you find it nestled between two cushions, the comfort of its weight in your hand dismissing some of the panic when you see it’s only 4:30. He hasn’t texted, which means he hasn’t canceled.

You remember from his stream last week that he maintains a tempered persona, never giving too much or too little away to his viewers. He’d exuded such self control. Is he always like that?

You know he mostly keeps it together at work, but that amount of restraint shocks you. You’re always wondering what it is that will make him snap. Sure, you’ve seen him annoyed, or occasionally yelling at your coworkers, but never rageful. Never out of control. That just isn’t Seokjin.

Determined to keep your hands busy while you wait for him to arrive, you busy yourself tidying, though your apartment is scarily clear because you’ve been frantically cleaning all day. You walk into the kitchen, a small, narrow room that has never been very welcoming as a cooking space. Your old, banged up fridge has dents from where the door has opened too quickly and rocketed into the oven handle, leaving a jagged, metal scar on the surface.

When you’d first moved in, you didn’t understand how something could be so damaged, but within the first week, it became apparent how heavy and quickly the door swung into it, probably because the floors, and thus everything else, doesn’t sit exactly level in the space, meaning that everything that you bake comes out at an angle, and everything else always falls to one side of the pan, making things uneven. Every time you use your rolling pin, you have to place it on an oven mitt or else you risk it rolling into the large gap between the countertop and the wall.

Your apartment is one that you’ve done your best to uplift. While your kitchen is somewhat of a hellhole, with a buzzing fluorescent light that sounds almost like it’s mocking you when you dare to cook anything in it, the rest of your space has some sense of charm to it.

There’s a large window facing the back parking lot of the building, which some may find less exciting because it isn’t exuding some Instagram-worthy backdrop of urban living, but you benefit from the fact that there’s a large, undeveloped lot in your view, with some plum trees that will bloom in the next few weeks, and the soft chartreuse green that ushers in the early spring grasses is slowly starting to brighten in hue.

Some summer nights, you crack your window and hear the loud chattering of cicadas and birds as they rustle through the trees, and it helps to distract from the usual traffic noises that ricochet off the other buildings around you.

You have some small herbs growing on the windowsill, as well as some salvaged green onion ends you’d tossed into an empty yogurt pot with soil and let take off. A sad excuse for a dining table is propped against it with two mismatched chairs.

An oversized, well-loved, brown couch you got for a steal from one of those local posting groups takes up a large chunk of your living room, which will probably have to be sawed in half to get out of your space if you ever move. It weighs a ton and you can’t even shuffle it into a better angle toward your television, which has resulted in one side of the couch being further worn-down and frumpy from the creases of you sitting in the same spot day after day. The other side usually houses a variety of character plushies and a large pink knit blanket you swaddle yourself in regularly. Today, everything is given a place, and the blanket is folded and resting on the back of the couch.

The rest of your apartment is a collection of stuff: some mismatched bookshelves shoved into one corner with all your smutty reads and figurines, postcards and repurposed mailers you’ve collaged into some type of wall art, and Barry, your Big Mouth Bass that knows one song and one song only: “Take Me to the River”.

Due to your lack of space in your cozy apartment, your desk and gaming set-up are in your room. During streams, you tote out a collapsible green screen to give yourself at least some privacy, but behind the screen is your bed you’ve cluttered with some throw pillows, a dresser whose drawers are so warped they don’t fully close, the nightstand which hides your collection of sex toys, and that’s about it. As the months have progressed, your schoolwork has moved from being the main event on the desk to now being crammed into the shallow drawers beneath. Beyond that, your PC and streaming supplies take up the rest of the space in your room.

After fussing with everything for a whole ten minutes, you retreat from your bedroom, heading into the hellscape kitchen to stare at the groceries you’ve just bought.

A jar of kimchi, some beets, and a comically large bag of carrots you impulse bought greet you. You sigh. Yes, this is what you’ll have to do to make time pass. Pulling the items from the fridge, you shuffle around to gather your cutting board from its slot next to the microwave, and find your good knife set in the drawer.

One of the conditions you were given upon being hired at the restaurant was to purchase your own set of knives. “It teaches you how to respect the tools before you. Having pride in your knives ensures you’ll serve food with pride,” Mr. Kim had told you.

When you shared that knowledge with Seokjin he snorted. “It ensures you’ll not damage our own knives that he’s too cheap to replace is what he means.”

Regardless, you now own a decent quality set of cutting knives, perfect for what you need them for. You scrub and lightly peel the carrots to trim away the dirt and uneven shapes adorning the outside.

Then, you begin your setup, placing your cutting board with a kitchen towel near the end to catch any rollaway carrots you’re bound to encounter during your task. You snag a large bowl, a rubber jar grip to keep the cutting board in place, and your Chef’s knife from your knife set. You chop up the kimchi and beets, doing a tiny bit of prep by cutting those for later in the week. Then, you begin with the carrots.

You pull from the washed pile and grip your knife, and remember what Seokjin taught you: cut the rounded edge off the carrot so it sits flat on the board. You slice again, then again, stacking the pieces before cutting in the next direction until a pile of neat matchsticks lay before you.

No chaos erupting in the kitchen, no pieces flinging to the floor or a semi-concussion. Just you, the yellow glow of the humming light, and your carrots. You begin the next one. Then again. It’s almost addicting, like the affirmation that you are capable of this, of anything, has started to warm something inside of you.

When was the last time you felt this confident and assured? Felt like you were growing in the right direction? In school, you were used to doing fairly well and understanding the material, but this is different somehow. This is you seeing the results as they pile higher into the bowl. You reach for another and another, washing the rest of the carrots and scrubbing them before continuing. Your hands are now properly stained, the beet juice, gochugaru, and carrot juice making your hands look like you are bleeding, but you don’t care. The ache from your grip, the loud thumping at the door, they don’t mean anything in this moment when it’s you feeling the give of the vegetable as it splits into finer pieces.

“Y/N?!! HELLO ARE YOU OKAY?”

A familiar voice bellows from the hall, another sharp thunk hitting the metal door. Seokjin.

Your eyes rip to the clock on the oven. It’s already five minutes past six. You’ve been cutting carrots for about an hour.

Hastily, you rinse your hands, ignoring the sting as the cold water spurts from the faucet. You grab the kitchen towel off the oven handle, and rush to the door.

You barely have it unlocked before Seokjin barges in, two large pizza boxes and a six pack of beer in his hands as he steps over the threshold. He smells faintly of mint and eucalyptus.

Seokjin whips in your direction, scanning his eyes over your face and down your body.

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” His eyes are wide, his pupils blown out as he fervently looks you up and down, gasping as he takes in your hands. “What happened?”

“What? No, no I’m fine!” You hold one hand up in his direction, taking the kitchen towel and rubbing it into your palm for good measure. “They’re stained. Um, I was cutting vegetables.”

His eyes flit to the direction of the kitchen, where the light is still on and buzzing, and you can just make out the chopping board on the counter. Now assured you’re not injured, Seokjin recovers, stepping out of his shoes and padding into the kitchen.

“Whoa, you really were going to town in here with the carrots weren’t you? I thought I could smell it on you.”

Your cheeks flood with heat. “Well, you said I had to practice.”

Seokjin chuckles, shaking his head in amusement before holding up the six pack. “Uh, I brought beer. I don’t know if you like it or not but I feel like it goes really well with pizza.”

You smile. “I’m not sure if getting me wasted is the solution to setting boundaries with my stream. Doesn’t alcohol lower your inhibitions?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Are you planning on finishing off this entire six pack by yourself and getting trashed? Much less beer that is…” He squints at the packaging. “...four percent alcohol?”

You laugh. “No, I suppose not. Thank you.” You take the case from his hands and pluck two bottles from the cardboard before putting the rest in the fridge. Holding the cold bottle in your hands, you grimace.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like this brand?” Seokjin asks.

You shake your head. “No, it’s not that. Um, I don’t really drink often so I don’t actually own a bottle opener.”

Seokjin frowns and looks around your kitchen, grazing his hand along the chipped laminate counters. Then he takes the bottle in his hand and whacks it down on the counter edge on an angle. The cap pops off, a subtle wisp of fog puffing from the top. He smirks, proud. He gestures for you to hand him your bottle.

With ease, he pops off the second cap and deposits it back into your hands.

Your jaw hangs slack. “Wh-how did you do that?” you ask.

He chuckles. “There’s a science to it, angles. I’m just glad I didn’t take a chunk of the counter with me. I’ve done that before.”

“And you risked my counter top just now?”

He snorts. “Come on, did anything happen? A little bit of trust would be nice, Y/N.” He glances at the giant bowl of cut carrots. “Well, you’ve certainly improved. What are you going to make with all those?”

You pull your lips into a thin line. You hadn’t thought about it. Your silence seems to tip Seokjin off to that as well, because after a sip of beer, he sets his bottle on the back end of the counter, rolling up his sleeves and scooting over to the sink to wash his hands.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Cooking,” he replies simply. “Do you have flour? Green onions?”

You nod. “Okay, get those. I’ll also need some soybean paste if you have it, vegetable oil, salt, and sugar.”

You furrow your brows. You know this recipe from the restaurant. “You’re making jeon? But, we already have pizza.”

“We can have the pizza as an appetizer. Jeon will be the main course.”

You laugh. “How much do you think I eat?”

“Not much. But you see, I am very hungry.” Heat shoots to your core. You glance over at Seokjin, who is looking at you amused as he squeezes the carrots between his hands to wring out the excess juice.

You didn’t really notice before, but Seokjin looks effortlessly cool, a loose pink linen button down framing his broad shoulders. He’s left the top two buttons undone, exposing the white t-shirt he wears underneath. Lighter wash jeans cover his strong thighs. If a stranger ever passed him on the street, they might think he’s too cool for them, too serious or vain.

But, there are notes of him everywhere in this outfit that suggests the break in the persona. One of the buttons in the middle of his shirt has popped open, a few hairs on the back of his head are cowlicked out of place, and on his feet are a pair of neon green Chikorita Pokemon socks. You find it impossible to hide your amusement.

“Ah, got it. Nice socks by the way,” you joke, trying to distract from the singing heat and close proximity. You can’t help but think about the last time you and Seokjin were in such confined spaces and how that ended up. “Didn’t know you were going to use your feet later to guide an airplane into landing.”

“Well, I figured it was a necessary backup in case your hands weren’t bright enough.” He nods toward you. You laugh.

“Touché.”

You open your upper cabinet. The paper bag of flour sits on the middle shelf, which you usually climb onto the counter to reach, but with Seokjin in the kitchen, there’s even less space than usual. You stretch, lifting onto your tiptoes. Your fingertips brush the bag, but it’s not enough to move it. As you try to angle yourself better, you see two large hands come above yours, Seokjin easily grabbing the flour off the shelf to set down onto the counter.

You feel his body heat behind you, his shirt brushing the small of your back from where your own rode up during your stretch, and a swell of goosebumps rise on your arms from the gentle tickle.

“There,” Seokjin says softly into your ear, almost breathless. “Don’t want to have any more kitchen related incidents, do we?” Too soon, he moves away, his warmth, the subtle note of his cologne fading into the smell of the green onions he’s set next to your not-so-glorious prep space.

Suddenly, he scoffs. You turn toward him. “What?”

“Really, Y/N? Have you learned nothing?” The heat in your core immediately dissipates, welcoming a familiar sour stroke of shame as you try to put together what you’ve missed. How did you fuck this up? What haven’t you learned? When you focus on what he’s pointing at, you realize he isn’t angry. He’s teasing you.

Your knife is unsheathed on the cutting board, abandoned in your haste to let him in. “When are you ever going to learn basic kitchen safety?” he laughs. The prick of embarrassment dissolves, Seokjin’s laugh soothing the ache.

You smile and shrug. “In my defense, I didn’t have the time to put it away or in the sink because you were disturbing the peace by practically breaking my door down.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Well excuse me for wanting to ensure your safety. Now where’s that soybean paste?”

Seokjin had been sitting on, or practically in your couch for the last twenty minutes as you ran through various scenarios and questions you were likely to experience while streaming. Your old couch was comfy, but as you’d practiced longer, he felt he was shrinking, the cushions settling further and further down. That, he thought, was probably going to hurt to climb out when the time came.

Despite the size and outdated condition your apartment was in, he was fascinated with how you’d chosen to decorate it, as if everything had its own place. You had an impressive collection of colorful books on a bookshelf, framed in with little knick-knacks and figurines of your favorite characters or collectibles. One large sunny window was decorated with stickers that acted as prisms, sending rainbow beams across your floor at a certain point in the day. A photo of a very young you and two people he assumed were your parents leaning against a guard rail over a canyon was framed and hung next to a giant plastic fish.

No, you didn’t have much. It was clear you’d thrifted or trash picked most of the furniture in your apartment, with the exception of your computer setup. You’d taken him into your bedroom to show him what system you used, how you’d built your system based on the specifications of your mod, who Seokjin now knew, was also your best friend Wonwoo.

But Seokjin couldn’t help but revel in how well cared for and cozy this small place was, so different from the cold floors of his own apartment. It reminded him of the tiny place he used to live in with his parents. It was familiar, safe.

When he’d come in, he did worry something was wrong. You weren’t one to not answer, attentive in the restaurant to everyone, often whipping your head in someone’s direction the second you heard the first sound of your name slip through someone’s lips. When you didn’t answer, he’d wondered if you’d been injured or worse. As much as he tried not to judge your building, he was a little concerned about the safety precautions put in place. He’d walked straight in, no lock on the front door, no door man. Everyone’s names were blatantly listed on their mailboxes. If anyone wanted to find you, it wouldn’t be hard to do so.

But you were fine, and the acrid worry that had bloomed in him during those five minutes of you not answering had dissolved once he saw your bright smile, and the even brighter colored stains on your hands.

They were still blotchy, though a few runs under the sink with dish soap was helping them fade. As you feathered a hand through your hair, he found himself grinning. The fact that you had acquired a bulk bag of carrots and used them for practice was so endearing to him. He never doubted your dedication to work, but the fact that you were using the techniques he taught you in your kitchen had brightened something in Seokjin he hadn’t even known felt dark.

And he also couldn’t ignore the sense of pride he had as you practically moaned into the jeon you two had made together, the crispy texture and roll of hot oil over your tongue invoking something in you Seokjin couldn’t help but be drawn to. You loved to eat. It was one of the first things he noticed about you, and as creepy as it sounded, also what stoked those first wisps of attraction.

You loved food the way he did, without care, or at least without care the way most people who he was raised around cared. No, you didn’t eat a lot, but when you did, you were all in, bare hands sticky after eating peaches, their juice dribbling down your chin and forearms, joyful hums when you bit into your favorite crunchy snacks from the convenience store.

He remembered growing up the ways in which women, even his mother, were almost afraid of food, afraid of how they would spend hours in the kitchen making heaps of it, pounds of fresh kimchi, grilled fish, decadent soups with tofu and mushrooms and packets of ramyeon, and yet when it was time to eat, they were too busy too or suddenly not hungry, or they would eat a few bites and excuse themselves from the table to clean up.

It was sad, really. Because Seokjin ate and ate fully, and maybe because he wasn’t a woman he didn’t need to worry about his body that way, or maybe because he always had some insane metabolism that didn’t impose weight like it did with others, but it never hit him the same. He loved food.

And clearly so did you, delighted in the meal he gave you, even eliciting a groan as you washed down a bite with your beer. It was like you were grateful for every bite of food that ever entered your mouth.

“You were right. This does taste better together,” you said. He was practically beaming.

He glanced down at the pile of jeon. They weren’t bad, but they were a little uneven. While cooking, he’d noticed that something was a bit off about your kitchen. Your oven and everything else were a bit titled, and it pooled the jeon batter toward one end, making them thicker on one side and harder to cook properly. Your fridge door also was dented, having the similar issue of the weight pushing things to one side. He made a mental note to shove some cardboard under the floor pegs later to help level the appliances.

Your counter situation, though, he couldn’t help. You would just have to keep with your barricade at the end to avoid rolling. But you seemed to be savvy in how you solved the various erroneous features of your apartment, making the best of what you had.

In fact, as Seokjin sat in the crook of your massive couch, he noticed why this side was so sunken; it was the only spot you could actually see the TV from this angle. He wondered if he could shuffle it a little bit more in a better view while you were streaming later, or if you would even notice.

You hovered next to the couch, your bottom lip worried between your teeth. You were nervous about something.

“What is it?” He asked. The time for your stream was growing nearer, and he’d promised he would stay for at least the first half, setting up his laptop in your living room.

“What am I doing?” you groaned and flopped down on the floor, a frustrated wail muffling into the carpet.

“Testing yourself and growing. Listen, Y/N, you know you don’t have to do this, but we’ve been over it daily at this point. You want more money and this is what you’ve decided is the most viable option. After-Dark type streams do make a lot more money, you want to exercise more freedom with yourself, do I need to go on?”

You shook your head. Seokjin chuckled.

“Okay, so–yah, sit up!” You bolted off the carpet and folded your legs underneath you.

“So, you know I’m going to be out here if you need anything. If you need me, I’m just on the other side of that door. Also, we’ve been practicing, right?”

“I know, I just…I’m not like you. I’m not confident, I’m not really easygoing or likable like you are. I can’t dom–command a room or everyone’s attention with my charisma how you can. I’m worried that if I don’t give people what they ask for, they’re just going to leave.”

Seokjin scoffed. He knew that on the outside, in the context of work that you were used to seeing him in, he appeared in charge and control at all times. It was part of the job, to be well tempered and fair and even, maintain a sense of friendliness but firmness, it was common sense. But much of his advice today wasn’t coming from that version of him you knew. A lot of this was insight and experience he’d gained as Jin, who he needed to be to ensure he was meeting his tip goals, or needing to remind everyone he was the one in charge, not them.

Even at work last week, when Seokjin needed to call the distributor because there was some issue with a shipment of produce, it was Jin he was channeling to make the call. If it were Seokjin, he would have been a sweaty, nervous mess. Jin was business, Jin was the one who laid down the law. Seokjin himself?

He was the youngest Kim son, the one who, when his parents’ friends and family members thought he wasn’t listening, gossiped about. Why wasn’t he married? Didn’t he have that fiancée for a while? Oh she had a baby with another man? His boss? Well surely that has been long enough now, right? He had another girlfriend, or found some other salaryman career. At 30, it would be kind of sad if his life wasn’t going anywhere.

And that’s where Seokjin was, after all. Single, a sex worker, or temporary restaurant manager. This morning he’d received a text in the family group chat from his brother with a photo of his nephew kissing his sister-in-law’s bump. He loved his nephew, he loved his brother and was happy for their little family. But he also felt hollow as he opened that picture, like some part of him knew he was never going to truly get to have that for himself.

“Hey,” he said, and your eyes flitted from the floor back to him. “First of all, if they leave they leave, right? Those aren’t the people you want to be on your streams because their energy sucks and they’ll just keep asking more of you. Second,” he cleared his throat, “you are likable. Otherwise you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place, having viewers and subscribers. There has to be a part of you that is genuine there, otherwise everyone will know you’re lying and move away from you. Don’t they say something about how all the best lies are rooted in truth?”

“But I’m not trying to lie to them,” you said meekly.

Seokjin internally kicked himself for saying that. Perhaps suggesting that you lie to everyone wasn’t the best move.

“I know, I mean, that you don’t offer all of yourself, but offer the parts of you that you know are there that are stable. And for the rest of it, fake it until you make it. Until you can feel confident as a streamer, able to set boundaries. Pretend you’re someone else. The person you want to be.” he amended.

Jin was some of the best parts of Seokjin. Maybe even better. Self-assured, knowledgeable about sex and sexuality in ways he hadn’t been when he was with Soon Yi, he could say no to things he’d never been able to say no to his boss about, and things he couldn’t say no to now because the restaurant wasn’t technically his. There were things he could do, ways he could slip some power in there or make decisions, but nothing was really his. Not the way streaming was. That was all for him. And while yes, his friends knew he did it and supported him in their own way (thankfully most of them did not tune in but on occasion Jungkook and Taehyung would hop on when completely wasted to goad him to “release the beast”), it was still a success that couldn’t be shared publicly, even though he didn’t really want to share it anyway, and didn’t really feel successful.

“Is that what you did? Faked it until you made it? Until you were the person you wanted to be?”

His blood ran cold. Were you reading his thoughts? Did you know?

“W-what?”

Oh god, what if you knew? Seokjin would rush out into the night and dig his own grave. Because if anyone else knew what he did, if his parents found out or his brother or you, he was sure he would become the worst parts of himself. A failure again. Once more someone to be quietly gossiped about in rooms when he was in full range of hearing what they had to say. He couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating than you seeing him, your own boss, with a bright pink dildo shoved up his ass as he pandered to thousands of people with whimpers and cries. Especially when he just spent the better half of an hour telling you that you didn’t need to pander to anyone.

Would you think less of him for it? Would you ask him why he was doing gay streaming of all things? His face flushed, probably turning incredibly red with embarrassment.

“With the restaurant,” you said.

He swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat and coughed.

“Y-yes,” he stammered. “What you see there. It’s not really me all the time. I’m not always all that confident. But I want to be.”

You nodded quietly and stretched your arms over your head. “That makes sense,” you said as you began to pace. “Okay.”

You still had another two hours before your stream was set to start, and Seokjin could tell you were still on edge. He took a deep breath when you turned away, letting the rush of air into his lungs help cool his face.

“Seokjin?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay until it’s over? I know it’ll be late, and it’s a big ask, but maybe we can eat leftover pizza and debrief?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

He couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his night, and probably early morning if he was honest. Your streams could go well into the wee hours of the morning, and while tomorrow while opening he’d probably be kicking himself for this, right now he didn’t care about anything except the warm tug he felt in his chest as he imagined the two of you sitting on the floor with cold pizza and laughter at 3a.m.

“Thank you. Also, do you think we could have another beer or something? I need to take the edge off. I know I’m overthinking it but I need something to distract me before this stream or I might not show up.”

You didn’t wait for his permission, probably because you weren’t asking for it. You slid into the kitchen and back out with two more cold beers.

“Will you show me how to open these again? I want to try.”

Seokjin struggled a bit against the dip of your couch, but eventually found himself level and close to you, so close in fact that the soft scent of your shampoo was once again permeating his nostrils.

You were intoxicating to him, honestly, and he found himself unable to help himself as he squeezed behind you in your tiny kitchen, inhaling partially into your hair as he walked you through the process.

You fiddled with the bottle for a second, holding yourself at an awkward angle.

“Like this?”

If you did it at this angle, you would be sure to cause the beer to explode, the cap wouldn’t get enough traction to pop off easily.

“Not unless you want to participate in a wet t-shirt contest,” he joked before he even realized how sexually charged that comment was.

You inhaled a little sharply.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, you’re a little stiff here.” Then, very carefully, he rested his hands onto your hips, gently maneuvering you so you were able to prop your arm up and out of his way so you wouldn’t elbow him in the ribs when you slammed the bottle down.

He kind of hated himself when he had to let go of your waist. His fingers were tingling simply from brushing them along the seam of your shirt, from feeling the warm curve of your hip under his fingers. Why did his hands feel so at home on your body?

Your sharp movement pushed him out of his reverie as you launched the bottle down onto the counter top, the soft plink and your sparkling eyes confirming you were successful.

That’s my girl, he thought. Only you weren’t his girl. You couldn’t be further from his. And as soon as he thought it, he also felt the soft ache in his chest knowing that you would probably never be his. Because you couldn’t. Because you were without a doubt too good for him, and Seokjin knew all that stood between you and the right guy was time. An opportunity. You walk into the right place some day and then boom, there he will be.

He fucking hated that guy already.

You popped the second cap from the bottle and turned around, shoving your body directly into him as you beamed with pride. “See! I did it!” You looked so adorable, your eyelashes long and fluttering as you gazed up at him.

A smile cracked through his gloom. You were like a little sunbeam to him.

“You did,” he acknowledged, and he took the bottle you offered, taking a swig. He waited for you to make the next move, to dislodge your body from the cramped corner of the kitchen, for the magnetic pull of your body to signal it was too close, too intimate so one of you would break away.

But neither of you did. In fact you sighed and moved closer to him, forcing the small of Seokjin’s back to rest up against the handle bar of the oven. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but he didn’t dare move.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked quietly after a while, staring down at the bottle.

“Sure,” he responded.

You nibbled your bottom lip then sighed again, unsure. He felt your warm exhale hit his forearms. Did you really not realize how close you were to him? The smell of you, even that tiny hit of beer breath, was starting to drive him insane.

You shifted yourself even closer.

“Um, it’s going to sound embarrassing to ask this but I just have to.”

Your voice was low now, a tiny whisper coming out of you. Fuck, you were perfect.

“Go ahead,” he whispered back, smirking. “I won’t judge you.”

“Okay, um. Are you…are you bi?”

“Am I by what?”

You fidgeted uncomfortably and pulled back slightly. You raised your eyebrows.

“No, not by as in near, I mean bi as in like, you know, bisexual?” You shifted your gaze away, and then Seokjin felt the question sink in.

He was such a fucking idiot.

God, this is one of the most awkward interactions you’ve ever had in your life and you feel yourself getting hotter and more embarrassed by the second.

Standing in your tiny cramped kitchen, you decided now for no good reason was the best time to ask Seokjin if he’s bisexual. Or really if he’s gay. Because you need to know. Need answers. Or a confirmation that will help kill this crush for good because as of tonight? It’s much, much worse.

Something about watching him cook earlier, specifically in your kitchen, did something to you. The way he touched your hips to show you how to do that beer opening trick, how he looked slumped into your couch, the way he hovered over your bookshelves and belongings with curiosity, and laughed hysterically over Barry once he pressed the button.

He fits here. In your apartment. It isn’t just some stupid fantasy version of him you could imagine. He is real and beautiful and fits into this corner of your life like a perfect puzzle piece.

And if he’s gay, if there’s no chance that he can give you even the fantasy of this, then it all needs to stop. But it’s also so unfair for you to ask this of him. What if he’s not out? What if you’re forcing him to come out and no one knows and all because your insatiable horniness led you to a gay streaming site where you found him now his livelihood and privacy are technically in jeopardy?

Fuck. You can’t do that to him. And suddenly you’re aware of what you just did, how uncool this was for you to just out and ask. Heat claws into your throat as you sit in this shock of silence, clamping down on your airway and leaving your voice in a reedy wheeze as you try to take back your inquiry.

“I–I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer! I’m out of line. Really, I shouldn’t have even asked. Jesus, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you splutter, heart beating erratically, a line of perspiration beginning to form at the back of your neck at an insane speed. How humiliating.

“Whoa, whoa, it’s okay. Relax. Breathe,” Seokjin says. You force a ragged inhale but find yourself coughing, gasping to try to find air in this room that is too small and a million degrees warmer.

You are standing in the hallway outside of the bathroom, rasping for air into your lungs. Your mother has just come home from work, shouting about how you haven’t remembered to take the chicken out of the freezer or done any of the chores she’d asked you to while she was gone.

The day has gotten away from you, a hot summer that is so oppressive no one even wants to go outside. You would get all she asked of you done and more before she returned home. The chicken would be thawed, you’d vacuum and mop the floors, would even wipe down the bathroom sink from all the hair she and your father left in it during his morning shave.

And then you would go to your friend’s house tonight, for the sleepover you’ve been dreaming of, eat lots of candy that her father would bring home from work that yours never let you have. You could tell her about the boy whose parents own the convenience store at the end of the street, and how all summer you’ve been finding an excuse to run up to the shop with your allowance to get a pack of gum or snacks or a can of iced tea you would have to chug outside before you even walked home anyway.

You start junior high this fall. Your period started this spring. Everything around you is changing. Your legs are stocky and getting fuller. Hair is starting to grow everywhere. Your breasts are no longer flat on your chest and while you know all of this is happening, you know why and what is going to happen, that doesn’t change how awful all this feels. Your baby fat isn’t baby fat anymore, and the oils of your skin, your hair, your smell? It all is changing so fast and you hate it. You want to hide. And at least having this boy down the street to talk to, Wonwoo, who makes you feel less like you want to crawl outside of yourself.

Him, and all the books you’ve been reading. Ones where they’re older, girls who you’ll be like soon. Who go to school, and date and have families with problems just like your family has problems. Who run into the woods and fall in love with other families. Who find belonging. There’s comfort there, and that’s why despite all your promises to make the house clean for your mom this morning, you forgot. Because you’d fallen into the world of your book.

And now, your mother has told you that you can’t go to your sleepover anymore. Can’t get away from the house and the heat and your body and the ongoing argument you know your parents are having about finances that they shout about when you’re in the shower and they think you can’t hear them. You can’t eat fun secret snacks or talk about boys or pretend for a second that this isn’t your life. Because it is.

Your throat closes up, the dim lights of the hallway outside the bathroom feel like they’re flickering.

“I told you. I reminded you multiple times! Now we don’t have dinner. Unless you’d like to think of something?” She strips off her stockings, balling them up in her fist. “Unless you want to go out there and buy some expensive meal for us tonight?”

Shame. This is it in its purest form. How wrong you are for not helping. For spending the whole day in your fantasy world with your new friends, ones who aren’t real. All your mother asked for was such simple things, and yet you are unable to just do what she asks.

“When your father gets home, you can tell him why there’s no dinner ready.”

Hot tears sting your eyes and you gasp for air. Your father? If he’s having a hard day today, if his boss or his co-workers didn’t recognize him for that presentation he spent all those late nights at the dinner table preparing, you know how this will end. Your father is a fair man, but even he has his limits.

And sometimes that means that the things you love, the things that you covet, they go missing. Precious dolls that you’ve had over the years have disappeared when you were being careless with them, leaving them around in the hallway for him to step on. Once, you left your birthday gift from your aunt, a purple Skip-It, on the sidewalk during a Spring rain shower and when you went to bring it in, it had vanished.

You’d found it in the garbage bin, the ankle loop and cord snapped into pieces.

When your father gets home, he’ll go for your book. He knows just which one it is. You had started it last night and he asked you about it.

You push off the wall of the hallway, swallowing the bile down your throat. You have to hide it, to take it somewhere.

You want to leave. Your eyes dart around the room. Anywhere but here, you can’t let him see how much more embarrassing it is now that he knows you’re anxious. A lump in your throat continues to constrain the air. You can feel your pulse in it, pulling acid up from the depths of your stomach.

You rip another breath from your chest and try to propel yourself across the room, across the universe, but your feet won’t budge. Your muscles are locked in this bump of panic, leaden and unyielding.

Somewhere in the fuzziness, Seokjin has moved but already returned, and you feel a set of cool hands on your cheeks as he comes into focus, gently stroking behind your ears and saying something to you.

“–ow that it’s hard but I need you to breathe, Y/N. Breathe with me. Can you do that?”

His face is concerned, and it twists your stomach even further. He shouldn’t be doing this. You should remember how to fucking breathe on your own. But then again, isn’t that why he’s here anyway? Because you can’t do shit on your own? Can’t hold boundaries, can’t stay in school or keep it together. Can’t live somewhere nicer where you don’t smell the stomach-turning stench of the sink’s old plumbing next to you, metallic and stale. And definitely can’t even remember how to mind your business or breathe like a person.

You rush down the hall, into the living room, snapping the book off the couch. You shove it behind a cushion.

Your father walks in the door, and from the look on his face, you can tell the presentation didn’t go well.

“What’s all this?” he snaps, and gestures to the left-out vacuum and the bucket of water you’d gathered earlier. All the bubbles from the soap have long popped, leaving a heavy, sickening floral scent in the room from the solution.

“I, oh–”

“Your daughter spent all day reading instead of doing her chores. So unless you have a McDonald’s hamburger in your briefcase, we have nothing for dinner.” Your mother interjects, huffing as she heads into your parents bedroom and slams the door behind her.

Your father’s eyes narrow, and this is how it begins. He and your mother slamming, stomping, hitting, and crashing in every interaction they have with an inanimate object around you.

He chucks his suitcase onto the table of the small dining area, then whips open the fridge door a few feet away.

“Y/N, come here.”

You tiptoe in behind him, needing desperately to do the opposite of him, to show that you aren’t mad that they’re mad. That you understand exactly what you did wrong.

But it doesn’t matter, does it? They’re going to show you anyway. He moves aside and you peer into the fridge.

“What do you see in there?” he asks, restrained.

“Um, some celery, lettuce, dressing, milk…”

He growls, indicating that this isn’t the right answer. You’re wrong again. “Food, Y/N. This is food. That your mother and I work hard to put on the table so you can sit around and read your books. Food that needs to be eaten. Do you understand?”

You say nothing. You know the question is rhetorical.

“So, when we ask so little of you to simply take the food out of the freezer or fridge and thaw it, how can it be so hard? Hm? Here let me show you.”

He reaches in, and begins pulling and pulling the veggies, marinades, dressings, milk, eggs, cheeses and meats, and crowding the counter top. You’re frozen, unable to walk away, to ask him to stop.

When he’s done, he looks at you.

“See? Not so hard, huh? And if you were helpful to us, none of this would have happened. Honestly, your selfishness sometimes,” he says. “Now, go get me that book of yours. I think you know you haven’t earned it right now.”

You should go peel it out from under the couch cushions. Should hand it to him, then put all the groceries back away, because you know he’s not going to do it with you here. You should apologize. Accept punishment.

But instead, you’re nauseous and shaking and sobbing.

He waits expectedly. And then he shoves past you to your room, beginning to hunt through your clothes on the floor, under your bed.

“Where is it Y/N?”

You don’t follow him. Instead, you run. You grab the book from behind the cushion, shove your shoes onto your feet and run into the heat of the ending day with it in your hands, the heat from the sidewalk still boiling up underneath you.

Your parents don’t run out the door or into the street behind you. They stay in your home, possibly putting it back together. But you don’t care. You run, until you see the light of the convenience store and your lungs feel like they’re going to collapse.

Inside the cool air, Wonwoo is helping his father place drinks from their crates into the refrigerator. His eyes are wide as you plow in.

You have so much you want to tell him, so much worry in your chest. Your cheeks are hot and your body is sweaty. Nothing is coming out. Just the hum of the fridges, and Wonwoo’s father rushing to get his mother.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks, and you can’t do anything to answer, just stare at his soft face as you well up with tears. You shove the book toward him wordlessly.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asks again, and you inhale steeply but choke on the air. A bubble of saliva clods your tongue.

“Please, take this. Hide it,” you urge. He holds his hands out and takes the book.

“Um, okay. Tuck Everlasting, I’ve never read this one.” He looks back up at you and winces.

“Hey, hey, breathe Y/N. You need to breathe.”

Seokjin is standing in front of you, coaxing breaths from you, wasting his time after cooking you dinner like it’s something you deserve. Like you’re not just doing all of this anyway because you can’t control yourself to not have feelings for him. Tears singe your eyes and you gasp another shallow breath.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad.” Seokjin breaks through your thoughts, his voice gentle, and almost like he hears you in this silent exchange, some constant that is numbing this spiral. You feel yourself inhale a little more fully as you understand he’s not upset or annoyed. “Good, you’re doing good. Let’s breathe another breath, okay?”

You can’t look away. Even if you wanted to, Seokjin’s touch is keeping you focused completely on him, his soft and kind eyes, his plush lips that he’s holding in a slight frown that won’t shake. One that you can tell is worry.

“Another breath, sweetheart. Good, good girl. That’s really good, Y/N. Okay, keep doing that for a second okay?” One hand releases from your cheek, and you find yourself pressing harder into the other, needing him to touch you and keep guiding you back, needing that security of him.

He doesn’t move it away, in fact he pushes himself closer, holds the weight of you in his palm tenderly, and then you see in your periphery what he moved to get: a glass of water.

“I want you to take three small sips of this for me, okay? Slowly.” He holds the rim of the cup up to your lips, tilting it slightly. You open your mouth slightly, letting a trickle of cold water flood into the hot cavern of your mouth, extinguishing so much of the tight, fiery panic that moves through the rest of your body.

You do as he says, sipping and swallowing slowly until he pulls the glass away and sets it down behind you.

“You with me?” he whispers, and you breathe.

“Yes,” you say.

“Can I touch your arm?”

You’re not sure why he’s asking, so you knit your brow and gaze up at him, confused.

“What?”

“Can I touch your arm? I want to move us out of the kitchen and into your bedroom if that’s okay?” His voice is still quiet, and you realize that the hum of the light is so loud it’s almost drowning him out, almost drowning you again.

Your eyes flash wide and you nod. You see him relax a little, and slowly Seokjin untangles the web of your bodies away from the kitchen, into the cool air of your living room. Why is it so cold?

Seokjin guides you through it, and through the doorway to your bedroom. Before you even realize it, he’s unbuttoning his pink shirt and draping it over you.

“Is this okay? You’re shaking.”

You go to tell him yes, of course it’s okay, and then notice your teeth are gritted tight from trying not to chatter.

You take another breath. “Yes,” you squeak.

He pulls down the duvet and gestures for you to sit. “I’m going to put this blanket on you so I can help you warm up.” You feel the soft, heavy weight and start to feel a little better. But without Seokjin holding you, tethering you back into your body, you feel like you might float away any second. You shoot him a panicked look and he seems to understand, drawing the blanket back so he is also swaddled in it, the two of you knee to knee as he pinches the blanket closed with his fist.

“You can touch me if you’d like,” he says, and this, you realize, is what you need.

You immediately shift forward, putting your face into his white t-shirt, inhaling that minty, fresh cologne he wears. You can feel his chest rising and falling slowly, evenly, and you match your breathing to his, hoping soon your heartbeat slows to the same rate. Your hands twist into his shirt but it’s not enough. You find one of his hands and take it, lacing your fingers together and resting them in your lap.

The heaviness is nice, stabilizing, but you know you still need something more.

“Seokjin?” Your voice sounds foreign to you.

“Yeah?”

“Will you hold me for a minute?”

His hand untangles from yours and he moves to place it around your back, but with you two cross legged and facing each other, it’s an awkward embrace.

“I’m sorry, this is such a weird position. If you’re okay with it, you can sit in my lap? If you want? And then I can just hold you for a second?”

You nod and sit up, unfolding your legs and wiggling yourself up so you are on his lap. You wrap your legs around his back, then your arms. And then you feel his arms around you, his fingers lazily tracing the length of your spine.

You feel yourself sinking deeper back into the safety of your body.

You both sit like this for a long time. So long that you feel yourself starting to grow hazy and sleepy. Seokjin is warm and soft and so soothing. You feel like you’re untangling from a sharp web that has been trapping you for a long time. And when your alarm for your stream goes off, you turn off your phone.

“You okay?” Seokjin asks and you huff out a sigh.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for all the dramatics.” You slide yourself out of his grip and flop back onto your bed, propping yourself up on your elbow.

“What do you mean? You weren’t being dramatic, Y/N, you had a panic attack.”

“Yeah, over asking you a highly personal question I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for that too.”

“I’m not-it’s-look. Panic attacks aren’t ever just one thing. It’s always a compounding of stress and anxiety and other thoughts and feelings. You just came across the one thought or feeling that forced everything to collapse. And I can guess based on how much you’re apologizing, it was probably you doing that shit inside and beating yourself up that knocked all the rest of this stuff down. I told you, I’m not mad. Or insulted that you asked.”

He goes on. “Which, by the way, I’m not bi or gay. I’m very straight. But that’s not the point. The point is, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You asked me a question. I have a right to choose to answer it or not. So there’s your answer. And also, you are never dramatic to me. Panic attacks are fucking scary; you felt like you were dying, right?”

You nod. “Drowning, yeah.”

He gives you a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, those things are no joke. But you came out on the other side of it.”

“Not without your help though. You seem like you know a lot about these when they happen. Do you get them too?”

He flushes. “Uh, no, I don’t personally. My friend Yoongi has them sometimes. He taught me a lot about how to help him with them. The cold water trick really is from him. And then also when Soon Yi and I were together, she would have them, but those were a bit different.” He looks down at his hands.

Soon Yi. So that’s her. The person Seokjin has often stopped himself talking about. The one who his parents would occasionally refer to as “that woman” during shifts when he wasn’t around. No one ever said her name, almost like she was some kind of curse and you always were curious why. You assumed she must be the devil incarnate the way his mother would sling a bunch of insults after she was mentioned, but the way Seokjin now says her name so casually, so personally, you aren’t entirely sure if he sees her that way.

Parents usually carry a greater grudge than their child who was hurt. Your own father has told you on various occasions that the guy you dated for one summer in undergrad, who coincidentally is his barber’s nephew, will never be allowed in his house ever again. Forget the fact that there’s no reason he would be invited over in the first place. Whenever you’re catching up with your parents on the phone, if he has recently visited his barber, he’s sure to bring it up. “Scum is never allowed in my house! He will just drag his filth in with him!”

Thinking of your father and mother right now forces you to wince. Maybe it’s the freshness of these memories, of you realizing now that what happened to you that day as a child wasn’t you being dramatic, as they had insisted even after you’d gotten home. Everything had been put back into place when you’d returned after the sunset, even the bucket and vacuums put away. Your parents never apologized or talked about it again.

And your friend, she didn’t talk to you after that either, claiming you were flaky and rude for blowing her off.

Your father doesn’t even refer to your ex by name, similar to Seokjin’s mother. “That Woman”. “Scum”. If there was ever a name tied to these people, it’s clearly gone in the haze of whatever angry frenzy your parents carry. “Scum” also didn’t even do anything wrong. You broke things off with him, but because you came home crying after the breakup, now that is his legacy.

But Seokjin’s mother, how she behaves, you’re not sure that it’s for the same reasons. You’ve seen firsthand how much she adores her children, and “adoration” is a word you aren’t so sure applies to your family.

Soon Yi, too, it’s clear she was not just a blip on the screen in Seokjin’s life. The hushed, angry chatter between his parents, the way his mother would often get so worked up she would start punching her shoulder and clicking her tongue, saying she needed to go sit down. That’s not a Scum-level relationship. You wonder how close she was to Seokjin. Closer than you two are becoming, clearly.

“Soon Yi,” you repeat to yourself, still lost in the haze of putting things together.

“Um, my ex.” Seokjin says, and you feel heat rise in your cheeks as you realize he heard you. “We were engaged. For a while.”

“Oh.”

You want to ask how long he means by a while? Did they break up right before you joined the restaurant? Or was this from many years ago? It’s odd in a way to think of how Seokjin has lived a completely different life from the time before you knew him. He loved someone, enough to marry them, to start a life together, to know she had panic attacks and how to help her.

Did he place her in his lap the same way he did with you? Did he sit with her in the dull winter light of their bedroom and talk like this?

He had to have. Why wouldn’t he? Your stomach dips. Were you under some impression that this thing you’re experiencing–the closeness of his body, the soft thrum of his heart, that tiny whistle in his throat that breaks through the room as he speaks–would be special?

The dim light of the lamp on your bedside table makes the deep browns of his eyes look even darker, and he watches you as you stretch your legs out in front of you, your foot shifting a bit to rest up against his thigh. His eyes flicker toward it and then back to you.

“How, when did you guys break up? I didn’t know you were engaged,” you ask gently. He sighs, and then slumps a bit, the careful, rigid posture he was holding for so long finally loosening a bit with his exhale. He bends his knees and pulls his legs up, glancing to the other side of your bed.

You pat the spot next to you, turning over so he knows it’s no imposition.

And it’s not, not in the slightest. If you weren’t so fried and exhausted after that panic attack, your brain might try to imbue some innuendo into this moment, but for now, this is all you can do, and you want that ache in your stomach to go away. You want to feel like this is special.

Seokjin flops down into the pile of oddball plushies and pillows next to you and you snort, smiling as he carefully tucks the plushie he smashed in his landing into his arms.

“I’m sure my parents have talked about her enough times for you to know everything,” he scoffs.

“Not really. I didn’t know her name. I just thought she was some girlfriend you had that she hated because she was keeping you away from her. You know, the same way your mother also says that the really old lady down the road who sells flowers keeps your dad away from her.”

He smirks at this, and his fingers rove over the marble eyes of the plushie.

“My mother would blame the sun if it kept her family away from her. She’s been messaging the group chat nonstop for updates from my hyung’s wife about the pregnancy. And she’s supposed to be somewhere in Iceland right now on a cruise. Honestly I wish she would just enjoy herself.”

“Well, she cares. About you especially. Which is maybe why she didn’t air all of your business to me when I was mopping the floors and she counted down the drawers. She just would say that I would be better than “That Woman” but I think she might think anyone would be better than her.”

“She said that to you? Ugh, eomma.”

She did, one late night, when Seokjin left early for “something urgent”. His mother alleged that he was dating a secret new girlfriend that he kept under wraps.

“Honestly, he acts as if I’m going to eat her alive or something. Tsk. That son of mine, both he and his brother are going to send me to an early grave. Behind my back like this when I’m getting older by the minute. Ever since he and that woman broke up, he shut down. I tried to set him up with someone and he kept saying no! That he would find someone. But if she was any better than the others, wouldn’t he have brought her around by now,” she’d said.

She slammed some coins back into the register. You jumped at the sound.

She sighed. “You know what he needs? Someone like you. Someone with vision! That woman never had any of that. So much more focused on status. You’re not like that Y/N. I can tell. And that’s exactly why I hired you. You can’t teach someone that as an adult. They either have it or don’t, and you. You’ve got exactly it.”

You didn’t really know what “it” was, but you didn’t argue, and soon she moved on to complain about something else.

Now, knowing Seokjin’s secret, you think you know where he went that night, and it definitely wasn’t to go hide in his lover’s house. Chances were, he was streaming. And that also would explain why he shut down on her so quickly. You can’t imagine Mrs. Kim’s reaction if she found out Seokjin was a gay cam streamer. Despite being straight.

It dawns on you. You’d been so distracted with that panic attack that you forgot already that Seokjin is in fact interested in women. Solely. Enough to have been engaged to one.

“But, back to your story,” you prod, trying to distract yourself from the fact that now none of this feels like just friends sharing. Seokjin hisses in some air as if he agrees.

“Right. Well, Soon Yi and I were together really in college and on. We started dating really young. Just two kids. And then we just kind of stuck together? She and I were together for a long time before I got the nerve to propose. And then…” He trails off, his face now a deeper blush. Is he embarrassed?

You lick your lips, ready to tell him he doesn’t have to share, but he waves his hand to quiet you.

“She cheated on me. With my boss. We were in the midst of planning the wedding and everything. I was supposed to get this big promotion at the end of some large conferences. But, I don’t know. We had grown apart. Suddenly we didn’t see eye-to-eye on anything.”

Your jaw drops, caught on that larger detail. “She cheated on you with your boss? After all that time? God, Seokjin, I'm so sorry. That’s awful.”

He smiles and nods. “That’s not even the worst part,” he says. His smile grows bigger, like this is some huge joke. “She cheated on me multiple times with him while I was away. And I caught them. Uh, you know. On my dining room table when I came back early to surprise her. I did not get the promotion by the way. But, she actually has a baby, or I guess a toddler, with him now. I heard she’s pregnant again, they’re married. It’s all some surreal life. And now I’m here.”

“Um, you’re right, it was worse than that.” You’re really not sure what to say. Seokjin’s becoming harder to read by the second, turning this conversation into some big joke when it’s not really funny to you on your end. Maybe he’s processed it enough by now, but based on how tightly he’s now squeezing your alpaca plushie, you would wager that he doesn’t really find it funny either.

“Is this,” you take a breath. “Is this why the other night you said you were a failure? Because of what happened with Soon Yi?”

“Partly. I mean, it’s not like I did too great of a job keeping her satisfied. She clearly found other ways to do that.” He laughs darkly.

“That’s not how that works you know,” you say. His eyebrows lift.

“What do you mean?”

“What you just said. Keeping her satisfied. Isn’t it the job of being a human to keep ourselves satisfied? Find things with meaning and joy? It’s not your fault that she chose to do that. To cheat on you, to not be honest when she started feeling differently. She could have told you at any point. Did she?”

He sighs. “Not really, no. Soon Yi wasn’t great at communicating with me about things like that. For so long, we just knew what the other person needed. Because we’d been together since we were so young, we had come up with some other kind of language. And my friends, too, they were in on it. She was not always going to tell someone how she felt but she would show them. For Jungkook’s 21st birthday she threw him an “American Stereotype” themed birthday which he was always obsessing over from the videos. Bought a bunch of red solo cups, they played that Miley Cyrus song and bought a bunch of discounted Fourth of July partyware. She was one of us.”

Even now, despite everything, Seokjin is speaking so kindly about someone who hurt him. And honestly, it throws you. You are so used to the men you’ve been around talking so poorly of their exes that you didn’t know someone could experience such a negative thing and not immediately resort to extreme name calling.

That’s just how good Seokjin is. Enough to not be mad at you for asking questions, for panicking. Enough to speak kindly about others even if it might be eating at him.

“That doesn’t mean it was your fault though,” you stifle a yawn. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Maybe we should shelve this conversation for another time,” he says.

“No, no, I want to hear. I want to know all of it.”

“You were supposed to start your scheduled stream an hour ago.”

“Change of plans. I’m not streaming tonight.”

“Do your subs know that?”

“Don’t call them that. They’re subscribers not subs. Sub is something you do.”

Jesus. Please don’t let him cling to that. Please don’t let that give away that I know.

“Pfft. Okay, do your subscribers know you’re not streaming anymore?”

You roll your eyes, knowing he’s created this distance on purpose and now the moment has passed.

Fine, you’ll get more from him about this eventually. You need to understand how Soon Yi impacted him. You don’t really know why, but you can’t help but feel like knowing more might make you feel less uneasy about all of this. About you and Seokjin and what this could all maybe mean someday.

“I can post about it,” you say softly and he nods.

“That might be a good idea. You’ve had a big day. A big panic attack, you probably need some sleep.”

Your stomach sinks at the idea that he might leave after this, and you’re still not sure you want to be alone. You chew your lip.“What I really need is some pizza,” you say.

Seokjin smirks. “Good thing for you, I know exactly where we can find some.”

“Thank you again for the pizza,” you said, nibbling on the edge of one crust. “I didn’t think I could be that hungry after eating so much earlier.”

Seokjin took another swig of beer, shrugging. “Well, you’ve had a big day, and you burned energy and probably calories earlier.”

Your panic attack may have seemed to you like it was coming out of nowhere, but to Seokjin, it wasn’t. He had noticed your embarrassment the second after you asked him that question, saw you spiral inside yourself as you tried to huff air. He wasn’t sure what really triggered it, but he also knew he didn’t want to leave you after that.

He wasn’t unfamiliar to them. Yes, Yoongi had his share, and it took a little while to learn what ways he could be soothed. Soon Yi’s were different, though. A lot more similar to yours.

When they had started experimenting sexually, there would be times in which she would fall so quickly into panic, like she couldn’t give up control. And from that point on, sometimes she would spiral deeper, into some pit of shame where whatever they were doing, even if it wasn’t super kinky, led to these shaking, sub-drop-like breakdowns. They were more rare, but they did happen, especially earlier in their relationship.

At the time, Seokjin didn’t understand what was going on, and neither did Soon Yi. Just that she sometimes would flip on him during foreplay when he would get a little more confident and dominant, or if he started falling into a scene that she had asked them to do, using the script the way she asked, it would happen anyway. Almost like she was fighting between what she wanted and who she expected herself to be.

And that’s in a way how you seemed to be too. Maybe you weren’t like this sexually, and he would unpack that idea later. But in this intimate space of your home, it was like Seokjin was experiencing some type of whiplash as you went from being so uncomfortable about asking about his sexuality to you lying next to him in your bed talking about his ex.

He wasn’t mad, not in the slightest. He understood that especially after a panic attack, people were desperate for closeness and intimacy, and whatever reaction he had to your panic, you felt soothed and safe with him. He was being let into your world little by little, even if you were fighting yourself to let it happen.

He wanted that. He wanted this: you two eating cold pizza on the floor of your living room, you chewing happily and Seokjin warm and full of life watching you do it.

You even let him make adjustments to your space, laughing and applauding him after he ripped some of the clean cardboard from one of the pizza boxes and made shims to prop up and balance your oven and fridge. He found if he scooted the couch slightly to the left and your entertainment system got turned a few inches, you could completely see the TV from anywhere on the couch. You dove to the other side almost immediately, whooping when you realized you wouldn’t have to strain yourself to see anymore.

You were comfortable. He made you comfortable.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you said, your hand caressing over the soft roll of your stomach to demonstrate how full you were. Then, a deep burp echoed into the room. Your eyes widened. “Oh, wow, sorry. Excuse me,” you said suppressing a chuckle.

But Seokjin was already laughing, his body shaking at the sound. “So polite for someone who made that noise.”

The tenseness in your shoulders fell and you gave in, laughing next to him. “Listen! It was good, and the carbonation of the beer is making me have to burp!”

“Sure, sure. That’s what it is. You know I’ve seen those memes about how women don’t fart or burp or poop and I’m onto you! You have one strike. If you fart or shit I’m going to prove that meme false.”

You scoff, tears leaking out the side of your eyes. “Well good thing for you, I will not deny those allegations. I don’t just poop, I shit.”

Seokjin choked on his next sip of beer, spluttering some of it out of his nose. “Oh shit.” Tears flowed from his eyes from the sting, and he grasped for some napkins near the pizza.

You weren’t much better off, coughing heavily into your shirt as you tried to recover. This, this was everything he could ever want. Afterward, you both cleaned up the kitchen and pizza together, finishing off the six-pack of beer until your yawns were impossible to ignore.

“It’s really late, Y/N. You should go to sleep,” he said. He hated himself for suggesting it, almost wishing that you would extend the invitation to stay. Even then, though, he would have to decline.

“Or we could, I don’t know, play a game or something?” As you said this, you stifled another yawn.

He chuckled. You were stalling, he could tell. And he wasn’t strong enough to say no. “Hm, okay how about this. We can hang out in your room and I’ll tell you more about me. But you have to get ready for bed first, otherwise it’s no deal.”

Your eyelids were heavy, but you beamed anyway. “Yeah, okay.”

You went into your room, grabbing some clothes before shutting yourself into the bathroom to get ready. Seokjin paced your living room, scanning the book shelves, a variety of titles he’d never seen before in the stacks. But there was one, a smaller and thinner book that had more wear and tear than the rest. He slid it out carefully and held it in his hands. Tuck Everlasting, a book he’d read in elementary school about a teenager who met a family that drank from a tree’s magical spring and lived forever.

Based on your copy, he could tell it was well-loved and read many times. How old were you when you read it, he wondered. Did you want to run away into the woods like he did afterward, trying to find a magical spring of your own?

The bathroom door opened, and he carefully slotted the book back onto the shelf before turning to you. You were wearing an oversized T-shirt and some very, very short pajama shorts. Your legs looked so soft to touch. His hand twitched.

“Okay,” you said, “I’m ready.”

Seokjin wasn’t. But he followed you into the darkness of your room anyway, laid himself down next to you on the bed as you tucked yourself under the blankets. Your eyes shimmered as you looked at him, now way more awake than you had appeared just ten minutes ago.

Were you hustling him?

“You need to crawl under the blankets too. Otherwise they’ll constrict me and I will absolutely not fall asleep like you have clearly planned,” you tease.

You were hustling him. He liked it.

He chuckled and obeyed, folding back the comforter and sheets to get in. But in doing so, he revealed you with your shorts already bunched up on your thighs, exposing your lacy panties at your hip. Your shirt was riding up, and he could see a tiny bit of your stomach peeking out.

God fucking help him. He managed a deep breath, begging himself not to get hard, or for his body to at least wait until you wouldn’t see him getting hard and he was under the covers. This wasn’t the time. Not after all the emotionality of the day. But his dick didn’t know that.

Your covers smelled like you, soft and even a little sweet and you really had to be fucking with him because you shoved yourself even closer to him under the covers, so that there were just a few inches between you two. He felt your body heat radiating from you.

“There,” you sighed, and he smelled a hint of your mint toothpaste. His mouth watered. “Now, where were we?”

No, but where were you really? He didn’t remember, didn’t know where to start. And then it clicked.

“Mmm, you were going to go to sleep I think,” he said.

You frowned, your nose wrinkling. “No, that’s not true. Or it was. I’m not tired now.”

“Give it a minute, I’m sure soon your eyelids won’t be able to stay open.”

“Sure, but yours are heavy now too. So you must be tired. Now it’s a competition.” You were right. His eyelids were heavy, and he was tired. But he knew his body, especially as keyed up as he was getting, wasn’t about to let him fall asleep any time soon.

“I think I’ll win that one,” he laughed lightly.

“Doubt it,” you challenged, and you shifted your legs, now a little less comfy and more antsy. You slowly released a breath.

“Are you sure you want to do this right now?” He asked, and you didn’t hesitate to nod.

“I want to know more about you. It’s nice to put the puzzle pieces of you together in my head.” Your voice was growing husky.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” you replied. A beat passed. Neither of you moved to say anything, just looked at each other.

Shouldn’t this be awkward? Shouldn’t all of this feel wrong? Somewhere in his mind, the logical response was yes, this is weird and he should leave. But then he would be leaving you after a hard day, when you clearly were trying to avoid him leaving by going so far as to keep yourself awake to stare at him. To try to get to know him. And that’s what rooted him now. He couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Maybe you were only being needy. But he also felt needy right now. And for the moment, logic could fuck off.

So he pushed it away, letting the parts of him he liked most bubble to the surface, the parts that led without overthinking and just acted on what he wanted.

He moved slightly closer to you, and you blanched, a little taken aback, but you recovered quickly. “

I’m cold,” you said. He knew it was a lie. He could feel the heat of you.

“Here,” he replied, and he pulled the blanket open slightly so you could wiggle forward, resting yourself against his chest.

He angled himself carefully, trying so hard to avoid the rest of your bodies touching, but it was impossible, so he pulled you closer, letting every part of you rest against him.

“Tell me,” you muttered.

“What should I tell you?” he whispered back.

“I don’t know. Anything.” You were fading quickly, and he was relieved. Sad that he would have to go soon, but relieved that you were finally resting.

“Okay,” he said, even softer. “I think if I ever drank from a magical spring, I would do a better job hiding it than the Tuck family did.”

You hummed in response, and then he felt your head nod into his chest as you fell fully asleep.

#bts smut #seokjin smut #seokjin #seokjin x reader #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #thanks for the sub

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bellaxgiornata · 1 year

Text

Falling For the Devil [Part eight: "The First Date"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Matt finally have a first date.

Matt has you thinking about his ass. A lot.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 4.7k

a/n: Just now realizing all of you on tumblr will not get to witness the novels in my end notes that a lot of y'all love to tease me about over on AO3...maybe that's for the best! Enjoy the cute fluffy first date between Reader and Matt! And you can find the list of installments that are currently posted on tumblr for this series here! Enjoy because there's literally so many more of these I have yet to transfer over...

You were focused on sautéing the pan of vegetables while simultaneously keeping an eye on the pot of water you were waiting to reach a boil.

It was Wednesday night, a few days after you’d returned from Foggy and Marci’s wedding. The pair of them were off at some island resort right now for the next two weeks for their honeymoon. After returning home the other night, you hadn’t heard much from Matt; him and Karen had been swamped at the office without Foggy and you had begun to think the date he’d talked about for this weekend wasn’t going to happen at this point.

You’d also been busy today at The Bulletin and were currently still a bit frazzled from all of the run around. Some last minute political drama had occurred and Ellison had called for an all-hands-on-deck approach, which had meant you’d gotten off work late. Though Katy hadn’t missed her opportunity to grill you again about the weekend, and then she’d grilled you quite in depth about just how great of a kisser Matt really was.

The pot on the stove decided it had reached a boil at almost the exact same time your phone started to ring on the counter behind you. With a huff you turned and quickly snatched the phone off of the counter, not bothering to check the screen to see who was calling before accepting the call. You assumed it was once again Katy with with more news on the political drama front and another excuse to grill you about Matt. You immediately wedged the phone between your ear and shoulder as you grabbed the box of soba noodles from beside the stove.

“So help me if you ask me about his ass one more time, Katy,” you said, tearing open the box of noodles, "I'm going to steal your yogurt. And I know how protective you are over your yogurt."

“Who’s ass?” Matt’s curious voice came through the line. “Mine? Or do I need to be concerned about competition?”

You nearly yelped when you heard his voice, dropping the noodles a bit too abruptly into the boiling water so that some of the water splashed onto your arm.

“Son of a bitch,” you cursed under your breath, pulling your arm back and rubbing where the water had burned you.

“Sweetheart?” Matt asked over the line.

“Sorry, I–I thought you were Katy,” you muttered, embarrassed. “And I just felt the vengeful wrath of some boiling water.”

“You okay?” he asked in concern.

“Yeah, fine,” you answered, stirring the pot of noodles.

He cleared his throat, the tone of his voice becoming a mixture of cocky and amused when he spoke again. “So you’re discussing my ass I take it?” he asked.

You paled, turning your back to rest against the counter as you awkwardly bit your thumbnail. “Katy was asking about my weekend at the wedding, and I told her that we…kissed.”

“Ahh,” he responded. “But what does that have to do with my ass?”

You rolled your eyes feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Nothing, she just didn’t believe nothing more happened with us sharing a bed. So she’s been asking me a million questions.”

“About my ass?” he pressed.

“Oh my God,” you breathed out, a hand rubbing at your forehead nervously as you cringed. “You have a really nice ass, Matt, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear me say?”

“Do I?” he teased in a smug tone. “I wouldn’t know, I can’t see it.”

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?” you asked him flatly.

“A little,” he admitted. “But you sound distracted, what’s wrong?”

“You heard the news today, right?” you asked him, chewing your nail again.

“That scandal? With the senator?” he clarified.

“Mhmm, yeah. It’s been a crazy day at the office because of it. I just got home a bit ago,” you told him.

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time to call?” he asked.

“No, no you’re fine,” you assured him. “I’m just a little all over the place." You continued to anxiously gnaw on your nail, brows creasing together as you eyed the outdated tile of your kitchen floor. "What’d you call for? Not that I don't, you know, enjoy you calling,” you quickly added, "I just assumed there was a reason since I know you've been swamped, too."

“I wanted to see if you were still interested in going out this weekend,” he told you. “Saturday night? For dinner?”

“Oh,” you said, pleasantly surprised and thrilled that the date was indeed still happening. You opened your mouth to answer, but the sound of water loudly boiling over and the flames of the burner hissing under the pot drew your attention back to the noodles you’d been cooking. “Shit, no,” you groaned, racing over to the stove and lowering the flame before grabbing a spoon.

“No?” Matt asked hesitantly.

“What?” you asked distractedly, stirring the noodles.

"No you don't want to go out Saturday night with me?" he questioned carefully.

You shook your head quickly, setting the spoon back down. "No, no I meant yes," you told him.

"I am thoroughly confused now," he said with a faint chuckle.

You inhaled deep before blowing out the breath, trying to focus your mind on the conversation. "Yes, Matt, I would really like to go out with you Saturday night. Sorry, I got distracted with a pot of noodles."

"More or less distracted than you are by my ass?" he teased.

" Matt ," you nearly hissed, embarrassed.

He laughed lightly over the line and you couldn't fight the smile on your face at the sound despite your embarrassment.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," he said, his laughter dying down. "How does that Thai restaurant by my place sound? I know you like it."

You smiled, nerves flooding your stomach at the thought of a date with him this weekend. "It sounds great," you answered softly.

"I can meet you at your place," he offered. "At seven? We can walk there and I can walk you home?"

"That honestly sounds perfect," you replied.

"Good, because I'm looking forward to it," he admitted, a smile in his voice.

"I am too, Matt. I really– motherfucker ," you cursed under your breath when the pot began to boil over again. "These damn noodles tonight!"

Matt barked out a laugh over the phone as you stirred the pot again, momentarily lowering the flame.

"I'm going to stop distracting you," he said. "I'll see you Saturday at seven?"

"As long as I haven't burned my apartment down with these damn noodles," you answered. "I'll see you Saturday."

You chewed the bite of pad thai, thoughtfully thinking over the question Matt had posed. After a moment you swallowed, finally having an answer.

"Waitress," you said.

Matt snickered, dark brows rising above his glasses. "Wow, you were aiming high," he teased.

"I was nine!" you shot back. "And the question was the weirdest thing you wanted to be when you grew up. They seemed nice, how was I supposed to know it wasn't a viable career choice?" You gestured your chopsticks at Matt as you asked, "What about you?"

"Dog groomer," he answered.

"Wow, pretty quick with that one," you joked. "Just because you liked dogs?"

"Yeah," he answered, his chopsticks picking up some noodles from his plate. "Before the heightened senses, too. Probably would be torture to endure that now." He pulled a face. "Wet dog is not a pleasant smell, I can assure you."

You lightly tapped your chopsticks to your lips, eyes narrowed as you tried to think of another ridiculous question for the strange game you'd found yourselves in. "If you could have a lifetime supply of anything, what would it be?" you finally asked.

His head tilted to the side as he chewed, brows furrowing behind the red lenses. You picked up more noodles and tossed them into your mouth.

"Coffee," he answered. "I pretty much live on that now."

"Mmm, don't we all," you mumbled.

"Your turn to answer," he pointed out, shooting you a grin from across the table.

"Coffee was a good answer but…” you trailed off for a moment in thought. “I don't know, the only things I can think of would be terrible unless they were magically healthy," you decided.

"Like what?" he asked curiously.

"Mint ice cream, but a lifetime supply sounds like a terrible dietary decision," you replied.

Matt snorted into his water cup as he took a drink. "Why mint ice cream?" he asked as he set the glass back down. "Mint is like the toothpaste of the dessert world."

Your jaw dropped, your chopsticks full of noodles hovering just before your mouth. " Excuse me ?" you asked in mock offense. "Mint is literally the best combination with chocolate."

Matt chuckled, shaking his head. "I think you mean to say peanut butter is," he corrected.

You shot him a flat look, lowering the chopsticks. "I said what I said, Matt."

"Alright, alright," he appeased, holding a hand up. "I suppose it means you'll at least taste like toothpaste when I kiss you afterwards."

Your cheeks reddened as your eyes dropped down to your plate, your chopsticks nervously pushing a few noodles around a piece of tofu.

"Kissing me still makes you nervous?" he asked curiously, his own chopsticks lowering as he focused on you across the table, his head tilted to the side.

Your left hand tucked a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, your gaze still on the plate before you. "I mean, sort of. But also, I'm now paranoid about the fact that I'm eating this and you’re probably going to think I have terrible breath afterwards," you admitted.

Matt snorted a laugh, shaking his head. “No, really, I won’t. If anything you’re just going to taste exactly like the pad thai you’re eating,” he told you. “And lucky for you, I quite enjoy pad thai.” He shot you a coy smirk across the table, one that had the heat rising up from your neck to your cheeks. “I quite enjoy it a lot, actually.”

You swallowed hard, your eyes dropping back down to your plate. “I get a feeling you’re not talking about pad thai here,” you muttered nervously.

“No, I’m not,” he agreed.

Your eyes flew up from under your lashes, gazing at him nervously across the table. He stared at you behind the red lenses of his glasses for a long moment, neither of you eating. You could feel your breath coming in short under his stare. Half of you wanted to climb into his side of the booth and finish what you'd almost started Sunday morning in the hotel room, the other half of you wanted to go hide in the women's restroom for ten minutes trying to calm your racing heart and nerves.

Thankfully Matt cleared his throat, readjusting his glasses on his face and going back to his food. You felt the tension in your shoulders lessen now that his gaze had been diverted, as if he’d done that on purpose. Which, considering he was probably reading your body like a confusing book, he probably did.

“What’s your go-to excuse for getting out of plans?” he asked, scooping up more noodles and continuing the strange game of questions.

You tapped your chopsticks nervously on your plate for a moment, trying to recover from whatever that had just been. “You trying to keep it in mind in case I use it on you?” you asked him with a nervous laugh.

He grinned as he chewed, shrugging a single shoulder. “Maybe,” he answered.

“Depends,” you began to sheepishly admit, “I usually say I have a dentist appointment I forgot about.”

“But that wouldn’t work on a Sunday,” he pointed out.

“Well I guess people don’t think of calling me on Sundays with things I want to get out of,” you joked back.

Matt shot you a playful look across the table as he leaned forward and asked, “Do you want to go skydiving with me this coming Sunday?”

“Hmm,” you said, exaggeratedly tapping your chin with a finger. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got a dentist appointment on Sunday. You know, my dentist works twenty-four seven so I’m definitely not available.”

“Sounds like a busy man,” Matt teased with a suggestive smile.

Your eyes widened and you ducked your head, snorting out a laugh. Quickly you threw up a hand to cover your mouth.

“You don’t need to hide your laugh,” he told you, raising a hand and gesturing towards you. “I notice you often cover your face when you do. I think the little snorts are cute.”

“And just like that I feel like a farm animal,” you half-joked under your breath, face burning up.

He shook his head, his attention returning to his food. “You don’t need to be so self-conscious. I’ve heard that laugh a lot over this past year and I love it every time I do.”

You raised a hand to your burning cheeks, your ears definitely picking up on the way he’d said he loved it and not liked it. Nervously licking your lips, you asked him, “So what’s your usual go-to excuse?”

“Usually just that I lost track of time,” he admitted. “Which is easy to do when you can’t see the time plastered everywhere like everyone else can.”

Your cheeks were still burning as you tried to think of another question, and then your brain came up with something ridiculous and you blurted, “Would you rather fight a single horse-sized duck, or one-hundred duck sized horses?”

Matt sat up abruptly in the booth, his head momentarily turning to the side as he eyed you. “That is a…very interesting question.”

“In the year that you’ve known me,” you asked him, “would you honestly expect anything else?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, and I’d be disappointed with anything less. I’d go with the horse-sized duck. Even though that’s terrifying to think of a duck that large attacking me.”

Your eyes narrowed as you took a sip of water, swallowing the liquid quickly before you set the glass back down. “You’ve told me you fought ninjas," you pointed out, "but a horse-sized duck is what terrifies you?”

“The one-hundred duck-sized horses attacking me would actually be more terrifying,” he admitted.

“Agreed,” you said. “I’d have much more luck running from a single giant angry duck.”

Matt’s hand reached across the small table, searching for a moment along the surface for the hand you had resting near your plate. Hesitantly you slid it closer to him, allowing him to grab it. His large, warm hand fully covered yours, a strange feeling stirring in your chest at the contact. As you stared at your connected hands, your heart began to beat a bit faster. Slowly your eyes slid up to Matt’s face where he was clearly fighting back a laugh. The sight only further stirred that strange feeling in your chest.

“I’ll protect you from the giant ducks, sweetheart,” he promised you, looking like he was fighting a losing battle with his laughter.

“Much appreciated,” you said with a grin.

Dinner continued on with the two of you finishing your game of questions before discussing how work had been this week. You'd told him more about the scandal that you were still hovering over your phone for news on, and Matt had told you about some of the things he was juggling while Foggy was on his honeymoon. Over this past year you'd already gotten to know most of the normal first date questions about each other's careers, families, and hobbies–which for Matt really just consisted of dressing up as Daredevil and beating criminals. You knew he'd intentionally tried to keep things light because you'd admitted to being nervous when he'd picked you up. Though, you were sure he was already aware of that before you even told him.

You were leading him out of the restaurant with his hand holding the crook of your arm now, a large smile on both of your faces. You’d enjoyed dinner and the jokes back and forth, and judging from how much laughing Matt had been doing, you’d assumed he’d enjoyed dinner, too.

"Hang on, let me get the door," you said, moving towards it once you’d reached the exit.

Matt gently tugged your arm back, shooting you a charming smile that had your stomach flipping as he released his hold on you and stepped forward, pressing his hand into the door and opening it for you.

"Maybe I want to get it for you this time," he pointed out as you stepped through.

"Thank you," you said softly, stepping outside.

The night was warm as you awkwardly crossed your arms over your chest. Matt released the door and joined you on the sidewalk, holding out one of his hands towards you while the other held tight to his cane.

"I've walked you home or to your office countless times before," Matt said, "and I've always wanted to just hold your hand instead of your arm. Would that be okay?"

Your eyes fell to his awaiting hand. Without even having to think about it, you easily slipped your hand into his, enjoying the way the smile stretched further across Matt’s mouth when you did. He pulled you closer towards him, your shoulders brushing as he began to lead you both back towards your apartment. You were too busy gnawing on your lip, overly aware of each of his fingers interlocked between yours and wondering if you’d get an opportunity to kiss him again before the night ended–even if you were still worrying about having pad thai breath–to think of something to talk about.

“I enjoyed your company this evening,” Matt said, breaking the silence after a few minutes had passed.

“I enjoyed your company, too,” you admitted.

Matt’s hand gently squeezed yours and you smiled, your attention turning on him. His cane was lightly tapping along the sidewalk in front of him and there was a large smile spread across his own face underneath his glasses. He looked happy and that made your heart flutter in your chest. His gaze abruptly turned on you as he walked, the full weight of that bright smile nearly knocking you off your feet.

“I like you,” Matt admitted. “Quite a lot, actually.”

“I like you, too, Matt,” you whispered.

His hand squeezed yours again and your stomach practically somersaulted in response. Briefly you wondered if he could hear some version of what he was doing to you.

“Enough to get me a second date?” he asked hopefully, his brows rising behind his glasses.

You laughed lightly, your eyes landing on the sidewalk in front of you as you walked. “Yes, definitely enough to get you a second date,” you agreed.

“Too early to ask for a third date?” he asked.

You laughed a little harder, your apartment building unfortunately coming into view as you did. “You might want to see if you still want that after a second date,” you told him.

“I’m already trying to plan a fourth date, actually,” Matt teased you.

Your cheeks flushed yet again this evening. How was it possible this wonderful man liked you so much? And how the hell had it taken you so long to realize it?

“This is me,” you mumbled, coming to a stop in front of your building.

The two of you paused on the sidewalk, you turning and reluctantly releasing his hand as you faced him. You glanced up at him, your heart racing as you chewed the inside of your cheek. Should you invite him up? Were you even ready for what that actually entailed? Was he? You’d been wanting to sleep with Matt for so long, but now that the possibility of it was glaring you in the face, you were nervous. When was the last time you’d shaved? Was there a way to brush your teeth first so he didn’t just taste pad thai when he kissed you? Could he tell you hadn’t had a chance to do the dishes yet if he came up? Were your non-silk sheets going to be too scratchy for him to want to have sex on? Would he–

“Sweetheart, I can practically feel your body working itself up with a thousand thoughts at once,” he said lightly, his voice cutting through all the noise in your head.

You smiled sheepishly back at him, your arms nervously crossing over your chest again. “How can you possibly tell that?”

“Your heart rate increased the moment you let go of my hand,” he told you, a finger pointing at your chest. “Your blood pressure is elevated as well your body temperature. You’re rigid and you’ve been chewing the side of your mouth for a minute now nonstop. I can smell the adrenaline coming off you in waves.”

“Sorry,” you murmured.

He shook his head, stepping towards you and placing a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t apologize, just take a deep breath. You don’t need to be so nervous,” he assured you.

“Easier said than done,” you muttered.

“What’s got you so worked up?” he asked.

That question had you even more nervous. You couldn’t exactly lie because Matt would know–not that you wanted to lie to him. But telling him you were standing here wondering if you should ask him to come up to your apartment, which you were sure would translate to having sex, had made you wonder if your legs were recently shaved enough or if he’d find them prickly with his extra senses. Or that–

“Sweetheart,” Matt said, an amused smile on his face. “You’re doing it again.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” you mumbled. Opting for the truth you said, “I was just contemplating inviting you up.”

“Were you?” he asked slowly, still smiling in amusement. “And apparently that has your body going into fight or flight?”

“Apparently,” you muttered under your breath, nervously tucking hair behind your ear.

Matt opened his mouth, about to speak, but the sound of your ringtone swiftly cut him off. You watched his mouth close, his head tilting to the side. You cringed, internally cursing whoever was calling you right now though you assumed it was probably work. You reached into your purse and pulled out your phone. Sure enough it was Katy calling you.

“It’s work,” you said with a sigh. “That scandal has really been a pain in my ass this week.”

“I can wait if you need to answer it,” he told you.

“I probably should with what’s been going on,” you told him reluctantly. “Normally I’d ignore it, though. This just feels rude.”

He waved a dismissive hand, shooting you a smile. “I can wait a few minutes, really,” he assured you.

“I’ll just be a moment,” you said. You stepped a half step back, turning to face the street as Matt stood nearby. “What’s going on, Katy?” you asked into the phone. “The office better be on fire or something right now.”

“No, but this story is,” Katy said over the line. “So the senator’s mistress has finally been named and there’s a prostitution rumor going around that’s about to be corroborated. Ellison needs everyone back in for a quick re-work before the paper hits the printers tonight. I tried my best to cover for you because I know you had that hot date,” she said, and you instantly heard Matt chuckle beside you, no doubt hearing everything she was saying, “but I couldn’t cover for you much longer. You’re needed. Ellison will probably murder you himself if you’re not here soon.”

Your eyes snapped shut, your shoulders slumping. Well that ruined your plans of potentially sleeping with Matt.

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” you told her.

“Great, I’ll let bossman know,” Katy answered. “And hey, are you still with Hell’s Kitchen’s sexiest attorney-at-law?”

Your cheeks reddened as you heard Matt chuckle beside you again. “Yes, Katy, I need to hang up so I can say goodbye,” you told her impatiently.

“Right, well, can you do me a favor and ask him how much for a baker’s dozen?” she asked.

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at the ground before you. “What?” you asked her. “I’m not following.”

She scoffed on the line and you imagined her rolling her eyes at you. “Come on, that man has a whole ass bakery back there, girl.”

Your eyes closed as you heard Matt bark out a laugh beside you. Katy quickly cursed over the phone before laughing herself.

“Shit, did you accidentally have me on speakerphone?” she asked, still laughing.

“No, but I might as well have,” you muttered under your breath. “I’m going to hang up and see you in fifteen. Can you please refrain from discussing my date’s ass the rest of the evening?”

“Probably not,” she answered instantly. “See you soon. Grab a handful of cake for me on your way over.”

“Fucking hell,” you cursed, hanging up the phone and stuffing it into your purse.

Matt was still laughing as you awkwardly turned towards him, embarrassed even though you technically hadn’t done anything.

“I like her, she’s amusing,” Matt said. “Though I don’t know why she’s so into my ass.”

“Because you have a nice ass,” you mumbled, noticing his smile widen. “But I unfortunately have to get back to the office, as you heard.”

“Well then I guess this is where I say goodnight, unless you’d like me to walk you?” he offered.

You shook your head quickly. “No, really, it’s two blocks and I’ll probably grab a taxi back after. I’ll be fine.”

“Well, can you text me when you get there and back home later?” he asked. “I don’t care what time it is. I’ll worry otherwise.”

“I suppose I don’t need you throwing on your suit and hunting me down,” you joked lightly. “Yeah, I can text you.”

Matt closed the distance between the two of you, a warm smile on his face. “I had a good night and I look forward to doing it again with you,” he said softly.

“Me too,” you admitted.

“Do I need to give you a warning before I kiss you so you don’t run away on me?” he joked. “Or am I at a point where I can just kiss you when I want to?”

“You can just–just kiss me,” you breathed out, your eyes instantly darting to his mouth.

“Good to know,” he whispered.

One of his hands reached out and lightly drew your face towards his. Your eyes fluttered closed just before his mouth was on yours. You could feel your stomach excitedly somersaulting inside of you, your hands hesitantly reaching up and landing on Matt’s dress shirt, steadying yourself against him. His mouth was somehow making you lightheaded with the way he was kissing you so sweetly, his lips moving carefully along yours.

You felt his other hand at your lower back, drawing you in closer towards him until your hands snaked their way around his neck, your chests lightly pressed together. You were certain he could not only hear your heart hammering away in your chest now, but that he could probably feel it slamming into his own through the front of your shirt.

Eventually he broke away, resting his forehead to yours. You saw the smile on his face and couldn't resist your own in return.

"Tonight was perfect," he whispered. "I'll call you soon to find another time to go out?"

Your bottom lip rolled into your teeth as you nodded your head. Matt pulled his forehead from yours, soon replacing it with a warm, lingering kiss from his lips.

"Text me so I know you're safe?" he reminded me.

"I will, Matty," you promised.

He pulled away, your own arms falling back to your sides as he did. There was a cheeky smile that gradually spread over his face as he gazed down at you behind the dark glasses.

"What?" you asked him after a moment, brows creasing together.

"You need a slice of cake before you go?" he teased.

Your face flamed as your jaw dropped, embarrassed to the point of speechlessness. Matt barked out a laugh as you tried to recover. Your hands flew to your face as you turned a fraction away from him, too embarrassed to even look at him.

"I'll be the one making front page of The Bulletin tomorrow," you said, voice muffled behind your hands. "For killing Katy."

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil x female reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock series #fftd

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saezurumurmurs · 1 year

Text

Come Through The Crucible With Me

It’s the calm way Doumeki looks at him, and the way Yashiro is coming undone. There isn’t a furrow in Doumeki’s brow, not a flicker in his face. And Yashiro is all fluster, all angst. And it’s the way they look at each other.

So much effort, so much work… that they have both done to get to this moment. It isn’t just a reward for Doumeki. It’s a reward for Yashiro.

As he shattered Yashiro’s false self back in his apartment, and begun the process of his healing, Doumeki now is steadily sitting in position, always prepared and ready to finish putting the pieces of Yashiro together.

But Beautiful Yashiro… he has done his own work too. He has reckoned with his own changes. He has indeed passed through the eye of the needle, and is now in the final crucible.

And what I need to see from him now is surrender. I need him to surrender to something higher than himself and trust it.

Because here, here is a man who accepts everything and is already deeply committed to him and protecting him. Even now. Even after everything. Even after all this time.

Ahh… after the drought of last year, pitched with this building tension and the length between this scene and the last, sensei is feeding us right now.

I give so much thanks… my eyes are blessed. My faith remains strong… and Doumeki is still the man that can do it. Yashiro is capable of doing it.

My heart continues to do happy nip ups.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yoneda kou #doumeki chikara #doumeki x yashiro #yashiro

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evermoreal · 2 years

Text

‘cause i don’t want you like a best friend ࿐

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

summary: besides your not-so-tiny crush on him, your friendship with sirius black has been entirely wonderful. that is, until, a classmate asks you out and sirius suddenly grows distant.

warnings: a few swear words, food mention, sirius and reader are oblivious idiots

author’s note: ahh hi !! this is my first time actually posting my work on tumblr. im so nervous so um please Enjoy and be gentle with me. <33

word count: 4.5k

though the day had started out clear and blue, clouds had begun to cross the sky as the hours passed. when the school day was finally over and you’d made your way to the library, the sky was a blanket of grey.

you didn’t mind. really, you enjoyed it—grey days were a lot more enjoyable when glimpsed through the gothic windows of hogwarts. it was cozy, and as you sat beside thomas—your herbology project partner—you found yourself longing to return to the comfort of the gryffindor common room, where you knew a sirius black sat, awaiting your arrival.

“and . . . “ thomas’ voice pulls you from your reverie. your eyes flick from the ever-darkening clouds to his face. his brows are pulled together as he places the finishing touches on the project you’d been working on for the last two weeks: a life-sized model of a leaping toadstool. “done.”

you smiled, clapping quietly as not to disturb anyone else in the library. thomas had been a great partner—he was smart, and had taken on his half of the work without a single complaint. he was sweet, too—he’d tell you you did a good job whenever you’d completed part of the project, he’d pull out a chair for you whenever you were late to your study sessions in the library. today, he’d told you you looked pretty, and although something sharp stabbed at your throat, you’d smiled and thanked him.

“slughorn’ll shed a tear when he sees this,” thomas says, patting the top of the styrofoam mushroom.

“i know you’re joking, but i don’t think that’s very far-fetched.” you clasp your hands under your chin. “he actually did cry when he read lily evans’ essay on muggle plants last year.”

thomas laughs, and the sound is pleasant, you think. his lips are pulled back over his slightly-crooked teeth, and there’s a boyish charm to the action. he’s attractive. you should be attracted to him, and yet . . .

you try not to think about the face prodding at the back if your mind. the silky black hair and the too-bright grey eyes.

you try not to think about him because you know it could never be. he’s your friend—your best friend who has no interest in you. your best friend who could get anyone he wanted, so why would he choose you, of all people?

and yet, and yet . . .

“hey, um, thanks for helping me with this,” thomas says then, and once again you're yanked from your thoughts about the boy that shouldn’t matter right now.

“it’s a partner project.” you giggle. “if i hadn’t helped, i would have failed you.”

“nah.” thomas waves his hand dismissively. “i wouldn’t’ve told slughorn. besides, i just, um, i mean—it’s been nice. hanging out with you.”

the smile on your face feels misplaced. “thank you.”

thomas smiles at your smile, and for a moment he just stares, and you try to think of something to say because this is beginning to make you uncomfortable. it shouldn’t—you know it shouldn’t. thomas is cute and thomas is charming and thomas is wonderful. you repeat this mantra in your head as he says, “so, i’d . . . i’d like to keep hanging out with you. after we hand the project in.”

your inhale is too sharp for the situation. you’re not sure what to say. really, you shouldn’t be so worked up about this. normally, you wouldn’t be. but things have been different lately—between you and sirius. you’re not sure if anything really is different, or if you’re just being different because you’ve been noticing how handsome he is lately. and he's been making you blush too much lately. and the feeling of his hand on your back has been making your skin feel too hot lately.

ever since you’ve noticed this difference, you’ve felt the need to run from it—because if you stay, if you let it over take you, you know you’ll end up drowning in it. sirius was your friend. you can’t think of a better way to convince your heart of this than getting it attached to someone else.

so, you meet thomas’ gaze, and you say, “really?”

his grin is wide and his cheeks are pink. “yeah. yeah, i mean—we could go to hogsmeade sometime. together. if you wanted to.”

then, because weight of him on your heart is beginning to become too heavy, you say, “like a date?”

“yeah.” thomas nods quickly, and his hair flops against his forehead. it’s cuter when sirius’ does that, you think. “yes. like a date.”

it feels like a betrayal. like you’re doing some sort of harm to sirius, like this will somehow affect him. in reality, you think, it’s the opposite. if anything, this will be good for him—you won’t be so clingy because you’ll have someone else to cling to.

but you don’t want to cling to someone else, you think. then you squish the thought with the heel of your foot.

when you nod, it feels too heavy. when you speak, it feels like you’re breaking some sort of oath. “yeah. we can, um, we can do that.”

and thomas is grinning and you shouldn’t feel guilty because you’re not doing anything wrong but there’s still a weight on your chest pressing down further with each syllable you speak.

“great. that’s so—that’s so great.” he chews on his cheek. “um, how about next friday? at seven?”

you nod. “i’ll see you there, thomas.” then you’re gathering up your things becore you can say something stupid like, ‘sorry, my best friend and i usually spend spend our friday nights doing skincare, and i think that’s much more important than our date.’

he’s sweet and he’s kind and he could be perfect for you. you repeat this to yourself as you hike back toward gryffindor common room.

a few times, your mind slips, and you find yourself wondering about him. about what he might think when you tell him. about the relieved sag of his shoulders and he’ll grin and the way he’ll ask about him, the way he’ll encourage you.

you’re still thinking about these things as you utter the password and the door to gryffindor common room is swinging open. you’re still thinking about these things when you step inside and you hear remus’ familiar voice greet you.

“hey, love.” he’s sitting on the couch. beside him is sirius, with his robes discarded—probably somewhere on the floor of his dorm. he’s left in his white button-down and slacks; his tie is looped lazily around his neck. the sight makes your breath hitch.

upon hearing remus’ greeting, sirius glances up from the motorcycle magazine he’d been reading and grins. it’s so bright that it nearly clears away the rain that’s just begun to fall outside the windows. “welcome back, pretty girl.”

“hi,” you say as you approach them, and it’s too easy to step into sirius’ outstretched arms, to fall as he tugs you onto the couch and stretches your legs across his lap.

“y’done your project yet?” sirius asks, and you’re sure you’re imagining the hopefulness in his voice. just like you’re sure you imagined the bitterness in his tone every time thomas had been brought up over the past two weeks.

“yeah, actually,” you answer, and sirius tilts his head. “we finished today.”

he grins at this, and his fingers tap cheerfully against your knees.

“fuckin’ finally,” he groans. “he was stealing you from me. ‘s not fair.”

you giggle; you always giggle when sirius pouts. “wasn’t stealing me, sirius. it’s a school project. it’s mandatory we spend time together.”

remus makes a noise of acknowledgement, and when you glance at him, you find him staring at sirius with an odd expression—something knowing, something teasing.

sirius hums, ignoring him. “maybe. that doesn’t means he deserves you.” then, he’s raising his brows and his eyes have that glint in them, the one they always get when sirius is planning something mischievous.. “maybe i should get him expelled, get you out of the group work. you’d help me, wouldn’t you, moony?”

“sure.” remus turns the page of his book.

your laugh is exasperated. “yes, get an innocent boy expelled because you get sulky when i’m not around.”

“i think it’s a perfectly viable reason,” says sirius. “two birds, one stone—you get out of the group work, and bloody thomas leaves the school altogether. we could ruin the slytherin common rooms, blame it on him. win-win.”

“absolutely not.” you shake your head, falling back against the couch cushions. the gentle lift at the corners of your mouth is flattened, however, when you realize you’ll have to tell him you’re going on a date with this boy he loathes for no real reason. the weight on your heart that sirius so easily lifted has returned, heavier than ever.

“i, um,” you begin, because you’ve never been able to keep a secret from sirius. besides one glaring secret: your feelings. “maybe you shouldn’t get him expelled, since, uh, you know . . .”

sirius raises his brows in question. remus finally lifts his gaze from his novel.

“he’s asked me on a date.”

the words taste sour on your tongue, and it exasperates you, because you shouldn’t feel guilty. there’s nothing romantic between you and sirius—you’ve been his best friend since third year. you’ve seen him grow up, you’ve seen him date, you’ve seen him break girls’ hearts because ‘they just weren’t right.’ and if these girls, who were so lovely in every meaning of the word, weren’t right for sirius, then in what world would you be?

as the words set in, sirius makes an odd expression. there’s no relief or excitement or any joy at all. his brows furrow, and there’s a faint crescent in the skin between them. his smile fades into something like a frown, and his jaw sets in a way you don’t recognize.

“a date?” he questions, finally. beside him, remus’ expression is unsettled.

you don’t know what to make of any of this. it takes more effort than it should to inhale. “yes, a, um, a date. we’re going to hogsmeade on friday.”

the furrow in his brow grows deeper, and sirius glances away for a second. then, like he can’t really process the words, he questions again, “and you said ‘yes’?”

you scratch the back of your neck. the knot in your belly twists around and gnaws at your organs. “. . . i did.”

there’s a long stretch of silence, one that sends your thoughts into overdrive. his hands, still resting just above your knees, have tightened into fists. you stare at his profile—with his clenched jaw and the million indecipherable expressions flicking through his gaze. past sirius, remus’ seems uncomfortable, and you would pity him if you could understand why this situation felt so uncomfortable.

before your thoughts can form anything coherent, sirius is lifting your legs from his lap—still gentle as ever, he always is with you—and standing at once. hastily, he makes his way toward the door.

“i, uh,” he starts. “i think i forgot my homework in the courtyard. i’ll be back.”

sirius glances back only once, and though his expression is made of so many things you can’t understand, you do recognize one thing: hurt.

when the portrait door slams shut behind him, you’re left feeling deflated. beyond confused, guilty, and all-around fucking terrible. had you said something wrong? something to somehow offend him? that knot in your stomach has breached your ribcage and is beginning to devour your heart.

glancing around the room, you find remus staring down at you. his expression, like sirius’, is odd—it’s pitying and it’s knowing and it’s so bloody confusing.

“what was that about?” your voice is breathy, and it betrays almost every emotion you’re feeling.

remus inhales, and he looks away for a moment. when he looks back at you, his face is tight—like he desperately wants to tell you something, to fix whatever this is, but can’t. instead, he says—and you can hear the lie in his voice—“just sirius being sirius.”

— ∘♡༉∘ —

despite his earlier words, sirius didn’t come back that night. on the common room couch, you’re left waiting, longing for him to return—whether it be with an explanation or just to sit beside you in silence, you don’t care.

he doesn’t walk you to class the next morning, either, and it leaves you feeling stilted for the rest of the day. sirius always walked you to class—even when he was angry or upset with you.

you share two classes together, and though you had been eager to sit beside him, to get at least one word in, he hardly speaks to you at all. in potions, when you sit next to him like you always do, you greet him with a smile. he only nods. in charms, you ask how his day has been, and his only reply is, “fine.”

maybe you’d be fine with one day of this sudden distance between the two of you. if he just needed space, for whatever godric-given reason. but when this routine repeats the next day, and the one following, the yearning you feel is quickly overtaken by frustration.

four days pass and you decide you’ve had enough. if you’ve done something to upset sirius, he’s going to have to toughen up and tell you because this silent treatment is not only infuriating, but it’s making you miserable, and your other friends are beginning to notice.

“go and talk to him,” lily encouraged on wednesday after catching you staring longingly at sirius for the fifth time during lunch.

you took an angry sip of your lemonade. “i’ve tried,” you said. “but he’s avoiding me like the bloody plague.”

“‘m not sure why,” marlene said with a drawn-out breath. “that boy would bottle the sun if you asked him to. did you do something to piss him off?”

you rested your chin against your fist, and stabbed at the food on your plate. “i don’t know. i must have. one minute, we’re talking, and the next, he’s storming out of the common room and refusing to talk to me.”

“what were you talking about?” asked lily.

“nothing really,” you said. “we were talking about my herbology project, and then i told him thomas asked me out—“

“thomas asked you out?” dorcas exclaimed. “why didn’t you tell us?”

shrugging, you said, “i don’t know. just didn’t seem that important.”

“didn’t seem important?” marlene laughed. “sirius is avoiding you, and thomas asking you out ‘didn’t seem that important.’”

as you shifted your weight, your brows furrowed together. “what?”

“merlin, y/n, i love you, but you’re bloody daft sometimes.” lily threw her arm around your shoulder, and you could feel her shake with laughter. “sirius is avoiding you because he wants to be the one taking you on that date.”

mind reeling with a thousand different questions, you shook your head and began to chalk it up to their insanity. “sirius doesn’t—“

“we’ve been telling you for ages that that boy’s in love with you,” marlene said then. “you’ve just refused to listen.”

your head felt light. for a short moment, you stared down at the table, and tried to process—to actually process, instead of immediately assuming they were jumping to conclusions—their words.

sirius being jealous. jealous because he wanted to be with you. a voice in your head scoffed at the idea. sirius was sirius, and you were you. it was impossible, you thought. your mind became a dizzying array of thoughts and questions and doubts.

eventually, the question that stood out the most among the million others running through your mind was, “if sirius somehow was in love with me, why hasn’t he told me?”

“because he’s just as daft as you, apparently.”

the conversation had sent you spiralling, questioning everything about your friendship with sirius. was there really a chance he loved you? that he wanted to he with you? that, somehow, he wanted you more than any other girl he could so easily have?

that night, you’d fallen asleep without a single question answered. you decided to give him a day; he could get past whatever had him acting like this and explain what was wrong to you. that he wasn’t in love with you, but it was something else.

if he didn’t, you decided, you’d approach him. and if you could gather the courage, you’d ask him if he was somehow jealous.

the thought of his rejection felt like a knife in your stomach; like a lemon being squeezed into the wound. but the thought of not ever resolving this, of never talking to him again, was a million times worse.

thursday. the day before your date with thomas. the day sirius would either explain what was wrong, or you would force him to tell you.

during supper, you’d sat with lily, dorcas, and marlene, just as you had for the past four days. he entered the dining hall—you’d been staring at the entrance—with his shoulders slumped as his eyes down-cast, just as he had for the past four days. he didn’t spare a glance at you, and something sharp pricked at your heart. when he sat, james had clapped him on the shoulder and teased him about something you couldn’t hear. remus rolled his eyes, before his gaze caught yours. the smile he gave you was apologetic, but that glint in his eyes—the one that told you he knew something—was still bright as ever.

as soon as he finished his meal, sirius was up and out of the dining hall, the four marauders trailing after him.

“bloody hell, y/n, please just talk to him,” marlene groaned. “he’s making the entire bloody hall miserable with his yearning.”

“he’s not yearning—“ you begin, before cutting yourself off with a shake of your head. “i will. i’m going to talk to him tonight.”

“atta girl!” dorcas cheers, fist colliding with the table in excitement. “get that dick!”

“merlin, dorcas!” you exclaimed as you stood.

“yeah, dorcas,” lily agreed. then, quite a ways quieter than dorcas, she cheered, “get that dick!”

you begin to say something, some sort of rebuttal, but think better of it, because these girls are just as stubborn as you. running a hand over your face, you set off toward the common room.

with each step, your heart beats quicker, until you’re in front if the portrait and you’d think there was a hummingbird somewhere in your ribcage.

the thought of talking to sirius often had your stomach in knots; the thought of his rejection had your stomach bowing in on itself. the possibility of his love had you soaring.

as the password fell from your lips, the idea of fleeing into the astronomy tower and spending the night in there seemed all the more appealing.

the door opened, and you found james relaxing on the couch, tossing a quaffle between his hands. he glanced up upon your entrance, and smiled at you in greeting.

for the past few days, this had been routine. you’d find one or more maurauder on the couch, and they’d greet you, because they were your friends, despite your rift with sirius. they’d never bring him up, however, and you were too much of a coward to do it yourself.

“hey, sweetheart,” james greets when you approach him. he gently tosses the quaffle at you. you catch it.

“james,” you greet, smiling half-heartedly back at him as you return the ball. “what’re ya doing?”

“we’re going t’practice for the game tomorrow,” he replies, grinning up at you eagerly.

you force yourself to focus on the need to see sirius, to touch him and hug him and be his best friend again. you force yourself to focus on this instead of the fear gnawing at your ribs.

“sirius is getting ready, then?” you ask. the words are tight in your throat.

james lifts his brows, like you’d said some sort of vulgar swear, like he wasn’t expecting you to say sirius’ name at all. for a second, his gaze drops to the quaffle for in his hands, and he seems to weigh something over in his head. then, he nods, and says, “yeah. he’s just grabbing his stuff.”

you nod once. then, you inhale and steel yourself—you can do this. it’s just sirius.

it’s just sirius, the boy you’re so desperately in love with.

sun streams through the common room windows; the sky is blue and clear and you try to convince to convince yourself it’s an omen. that the rain the other day had been, too—that everything would work out now.

you’ll be fine, you tell yourself as you climb the stairs up to his dorm. you’ll be fine—whether he’s been having a bad few days and just needed space, or if he is impossibly upset over thomas.

your heart is in your throat.

everything will be okay. it’s sirius. even if it’s not okay, being next to sirius will make it so.

you knock thrice on the door—something you’ve never had to do, something sirius would have teased you endlessly for. behind, there’s a pause, followed by the sound of shuffling, and then the knob is turning.

peter stands on the other side, eyes wide and lips ever so slightly parted. he blinks a few times.

“um, hi,” you greet when he doesn’t say anything. what little noise was happening behind him suddenly halts. “is sirius here?”

peter glances behind him for only a second, before he’s nodding; stepping away from the door and leaving it open as he does.

when you step inside, you’re immediately assaulted by the scent of sirius. it’s mahogany and it’s vanilla and it’s leather and it’s everything you need. it rolls off his sheets and into the air and wraps you in it’s warmth and you’re left wondering why on earth you would let him avoid you for this long.

remus is in here, too, you notice. he’s hunched in front of his armoire, one arm still clutching a shirt while he stares at you, one brow raise.

remus’ gaze flicks to the side. you follow it. there, sirius stands, stock still, gaze narrowed on you like you’re the only thing in this room, the only thing in this world. the feeling of his gaze on yours is something you didn’t know you could miss so dearly.

your throat is achingly dry; you have to swallow before you speak, and even then, it’s barely a breath. “hi.”

there’s a small, barely-there furrow between his brows, and it’s smoothed as soon as he glances over at his friends. they’re leaving, you realize. shuffling slowly out of the room to give you space and you notice the slight smile on remus’ lips.

the door shuts too loudly; it startles you in this stark silence. sirius, however, doesn’t seem to notice it at all. his gaze is trained on you for only a few more seconds before he’s turning away, searching the trunk at the end of his bed for what you assume is his quidditch equipment.

“what are you doing here?” he asks, and his voice is distant and cool but it’s so lovely. you find yourself smiling at the mere sound of it.

you inhale. shift your weight from one foot to the other. “you’ve been avoiding me.”

sirius pauses his shuffling for a moment, before resuming his search. you give him as much time as you can manage; he doesn’t respond.

“don’t—“ you cut yourself off. run a hand over your face, and say, “can you tell me why?”

there’s a sharp breath, and his shoulders are stiff when he responds. “i’m not avoiding you.”

you scoff. “bullshit.”

he only sighs, and you’re so frustrated you want to march over him and shove yourself into his line of sight and force him to look at you.

you stay where you are. “did i do something to upset you? did i say something? sirius, you have to—“

“you didn’t do anything,” sirius says, and he’s given up on the search for his gear altogether.

“then why the hell are you avoiding me?” you exclaim, taking one step forward. you don’t realize the next words have come out of your mouth until they’re hanging in the air: “does it have something to do with thomas?”

slowly, sirius stands, and you’re overcome with regret, because it’s impossible. it’s impossible that sirius is jealous, that he loathes thomas because he flirts with you. it’s completely, entirely impossible.. “did i— i mean, i know you don’t like him, but—“

sirius cuts you off with a sharp laugh. he’s turning around then, and above his humourless smile are his grey eyes: hurt and desperate and burning.

“is that really what you think this is?” he asks, and your heart drops from your ribcage. “you think i don’t like him?”

he laughs again, shakes his head. rubs at his jaw. “you’re right, really. i don’t like him. i want to throw him into a fucking wall and tell him he’ll never deserve you—“

“sirius—“

“that he’s done nothing to earn your affection. that he could never give you what i could give you. that he hasn’t been hopelessly in love with you for the past four years, that he—“ sirius shakes his head once more, and with every syllable he speaks, his voice grows thicker. “that you are fucking everything to me, y/n, and you chose him—“

“sirius,” you say again, and you’re loud enough this time that he stops. that he meets your gaze and it’s so wonderful that you could cry—you wonder if you are crying. “are you—are you being serious?”

he smiles, and the action is shaky in a way you’ve never seen from him. “i’m always sirius.”

“you’re—“ you begin, glancing up as if that’ll hold back the tsunami of emotions washing over you, drowning you. “you love me?”

his breathing is heavy. sirius nods. “desperately.”

you realize you’re crying when your next breath is a sniffle. “merlin, sirius.” there’s a tear sliding down your cheek, and you hastily wipe it away. “i don’t like thomas. i like you.”

there’s a movement in sirius’ throat, like his breath is caught and he’s staring at you in complete disbelief. you’re sure your expression mirrors his, because you’re still not quite sure how sirius black could be in love with you, but the realization that he somehow is has your heart soaring among the clouds.

“why—” sirius swallows. “why are you going out with him, then?”

your laugh is short, exasperated. “because i’m in love with you,” you reply. “and i—i didn’t think you felt anything at all for me. so i guess i was trying to . . . move on.”

sirius takes a step toward you, and the smile you’ve missed so terribly for the past four days is gracing his lips. there’s only a short distance of space between you, now, and he crosses it as he says, “i don’t want you to move on, love.”

your next breath is shaky. “i don’t want to, either.

he stares at you for a long moment; grey eyes burning into yours, and you wonder if he can somehow see right through you. you find that you wouldn’t mind if he could, because you’re made up entirely of love for him.

his gaze flickers once to your lips, and he’s saying, “you’re so fucking beautiful,” before he’s gripping your jaw and pulling your lips to his.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #marauders #marauders fic #marauders x reader #harry potter #harry potter fic #( 🌷 ) — writing.#( 🪻 ) — sirius.

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starsofmilos · 2 years

Text

It’s only ever you (Adrian Chase x reader)

Request: Please may I request a jealous Black Widow?

Request: ok, imma be the one to request because...it needs to happen: could u do an adrian chase x black widow!reader in which adrian takes the chance to finally propose to her!! starts off with a mission, he talks with part of the team or something and prepares his proposal. even the dog helps!

AHH I’m so excited for this.

Warnings: violence, insecure reader, cursing, and a small little little bit of angst, also a rival.

Black Widow Masterlist

Now in the relationship, you weren’t the jealous one. You considered yourself the more insecure one than jealous. Not that you would ever admit it to Adrian or anyone. In your guy’s relationship, Adrian was the one who easily got jealous.

In his eyes, you were everything. You could’ve been with anyone and you chose him. He knew you were a really closed off person and you trusted him enough to be vulnerable around him. Adrian was absolutely obsessed with you.

You were just as obsessed with him. You didn’t have anyone before you met Adrian. The only person you had in your life before him died on you. You were a retired ex assassin. The black widow. You had so much blood on your hands and this sweet sociopath chose you to love.

You weren’t the jealous one. That’s at least what you thought and then stupid fucking Trade Wind came around. You hated her. She was basically the female version of Adrian with big boobs.

She was the newest vigilante around town. Adrian and her had begun working with each other. You’ve only met her two times, but she was literally perfect for him. She understood his humor and actually talked to him.

Adrian had to break down your walls. You could also tell she liked him romantically. It was quite obvious to anyone who looked at them. Well everyone except Adrian. At least she only got him at night, he was yours the rest of the time.

You sighed looking at the empty bedside. You had gotten used to sleeping next to Adrian. He knew that so he would always come back from patrol by three or four, but lately he hadn’t been coming till five or six. Your dog Finley whined as you shuffled a bit in bed. “I know Finley I miss him too.”

“You miss who?” You sat up smiling seeing Adrian standing in the doorway. “You. I miss you.” Adrian grinned stripping his amor off. “Yeah I missed you too.” He climbed in next to you chuckling as you immediately latched onto him. “I always miss you when I’m on patrol.” You smiled curling into him. “Tell me all about it.” You yawned out wanting to catch up with him.

“Sure. Trade Wind teamed up with me again tonight-” “Again?” He nodded. “Yeah Y/N she’s really cool! I mean obviously your cooler-” “Adrian you don’t gotta reassure me. It’s okay you have a new friend.” He sighed a bit. “Okay phew. Anyways, she was helping stop a drug deal tonight. Although something weird happened?”

“What happened?” “She revealed her identity to me tonight.” “She what?” You sat up a bit in shock. “Yeah obviously I didn’t tell her mine, but she said she wanted me to see the real her.” You grit your teeth a bit. “That’s great.” “I thought so too. She really likes me as a friend.” You nodded turning around. “Goodnight Adrian. You can tell me more tomorrow.”

Adrian made a small noise of confusion before cuddling your back. “Okay. I love you..” “Love you too.” You whispered out bitterly.

It was fine. It’s not like he spends all the time with her right?

The next morning, you walked to the office with coffee for everyone jumping in surprise when you saw none other than Trade Wind at your desk. What the actual fuck-

“Oh hi! You’re vigilante’s girlfriend right?!” You nodded tightly as she cheered. “I was asked by your friend here for help with your latest mission.” You looked at Harcourt seeing her rub her temples. “Yeah she has information we need.” She was annoyed by her.

You nodded moving to your desk. “I usually sit here.Can you move?” “OH sorry I didn’t know! I was told by Economos over there Vigilante or Adrian as they called him usually sits here.” “Yeah he sits next to me. And they shouldn’t have told you his identity.” John mouthed a sorry as you glared at him.

“I thought she knew.” You sighed before turning back to her. “Please move out of my desk.” She laughed a bit before nodding. “Okay.” You sat down trying not to show your annoyance.

Adrian came in surprised to see Trade Wind sitting there.” Trade Wind?” “Oh my god! Adrian!! Hi!” He looked at you. “John told her and she’s here to work with us.” You mumbled out. He nodded sitting next to you. “It’s so nice to see what you actually look like. It makes sense now why your girlfriend is with you.”

She joked with him as Adrian laughed, “No if anything I had to convince her to get with me.” “Really? I wouldn’t have needed much convincing hot stuff.” You clenched your first hearing her. Oh you wanted to wipe that smirk off her face.

“Can we get back to work now?” Emilia called out seeing you clench your fist.

It was hard to concentrate. She kept making jokes with Adrian and laughing with him. Along with flirting...You are not the jealous type. Plus Adrian loved you..right?

“So Adrian now that I know the real you. Maybe we should hang out more besides the patrols?” “Sure!”

She was taking him away.

“Lena right? I figured since you’re calling me Adrian now.” “Yeah that’s fine.” She smiled. You grumbled a bit under your breath. It couldn’t get worser than this right?

It did.

“Actually wanna get out of here now? We can go pick up food.” “Uh..” Adrian pondered for a moment sharing a small glance with you. “It’s okay you don’t need my permission.” You smiled a bit at him. He grinned. “I’ll bring you something back?” You nodded as he kissed your cheek walking out with her.

It was silent for a minute between all of you as you clicked your pen scanning the computer. “So we’re all gonna ignore the elephant in the room?” Adebayo asked out loud. “What elephant?” You snapped out.

“The fact that she is basically the female embodiment of Adrian with the hots for him.” Chris called out. “I thought you took off?” “Nope they didn’t invite me with them. Which is fine I guess.” Seems you weren’t the only one bothered with Adrian not spending time with you. “She was talking about how she’s been working with him for a while now and how he’s so dreamy..” John groaned out.

You snapped the pen in your hand. “Sorry.” You mumbled out. “Is the famous Black Widow jealous?” Emilia taunted you playfully. “Nope. I can take her.” “In a physical fight yeah?, but in a fight for Adrian...No offense but she’s the most approachable out of the two of you.”

You glared at Chris as he said that. “Fuck you Chris.” You threw the broken pen at him walking out. Everyone shared a small glance. “Shit she’s pissed.” John sighed. “No shit.” Adebayo whispered out, “I’d be too. It’s obvious this girl likes Adrian.” She sighed. Chris scoffed, “Please she really shouldn’t worry. Adrian is literally obsessed with her. I mean he bought a ring-” “He bought a ring?” Emilia asked in shock.

Chris nodded. “I told him it’s too soon, but he told me I was just jealous he found someone.” Emilia sighed. “Well it isn’t our business back to work everyone please.” They nodded once again typing away as Chris sat there talking amongst them.

You sighed taking a small look at yourself in the mirror. “Fuck..” You whimpered a bit feeling tears rise behind your eyes. Was Chris right? Would Adrian leave you for her? She was nicer and prettier..

You gripped the railing of the sink shaking your head. He wouldn’t. You just had to keep reminding yourself. Maybe a night in with him would do you some good? You walked back out grabbing your phone to shoot him a text.

‘Hi Adrian. Wanna hang and maybe have some fun later?..’

‘Hey spidey! I would that sounds amazing!! 🥰🧜‍♂️’

You grinned at his response, but then another text came in.

‘But I already made plans with Lena?..can we postpone for tomorrow? ☹️😅😮😬🧜‍♂️🧜‍♂️’

‘Oh...yeah sure Adrian. Love you have fun. 💕’

He left you on seen after. He must’ve been busy with her..It wasn’t a big deal. You convinced yourself. It was just one night.

Turned out it was a big deal, one night turned into two and that turned into a whole day. Adrian was slipping away from you. You sat in bed waiting up for him to come home. It was four in the morning.

Getting worried you decided to call him, “Hello my love!” You smiled a bit hearing him. Adrian was drunk off his rocker. “Hey um are you coming home tonight?..” “Uh I’ma be honest I don’t think I can drive?” “I can go get you if you want?” “No baby! It’s okay you get some sleep I’ll crash on Lena’s couch.” You bit your lip. “Are you sure? I don’t mind-” Her call cut you off. “Adrian!! Come one we have to watch the newest episode of Fargo!!”

“Fargo..I thought we were gonna watch it..” “Oh don’t worry we are! She’s joking. She knows it’s our thing.” He laughed. You looked up angrily. She knew it was you and was trying to get on your nerves.

“Okay I got to go.” Adrian looked at his phone confused. “Are you okay? You sound mad-” “I’m not bye.” You hung up throwing your phone on the bed. Finley popped his head up as you let some tears you’d been holding fall out.

You sniffled trying to calm down before fully sobbing out. “Fuck!!” You yelled out curling into yourself. Finley crawled to you laying his head on your lap. You pet him trying to stop crying. “This is stupid..” You mumbled out.

The next morning, you sat in the office by yourself. You didn’t sleep a wink, so you decided to come in earlier than usual. Lena walked in with a smile. “Oh hey Y/N!” She cheered out sitting in the seat next to you. “Hi.” You mumbled out scrolling away. “Any luck?” You shook your head. “The info you gave us barely cracked the surface...” She sighed.

“So Y/N..” You hummed. “I don’t wanna like ruin your mood, but you look exhausted. Are you gonna be okay on the mission?” “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She nodded. “Also I needed to talk to you about something..if you don’t mind?..” “What’s up?..”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, but I’ve gained feelings for Adrian.” You snapped your head up. “What?” “I’m sorry..when I first started working with him. I thought we’d be friends, but after knowing him now..I can see why you are with him..He’s amazing and I’m sorry, but I don’t think you deserve Adrian.”

“You have some fucking nerve-” “This is one of the reasons why! You’re an angry cold person! I know you used to be an assassin and you don’t know how to love someone as warm as Adrian!” You stood up seconds away from attacking her. “Adrian is my boyfriend! He chose me-” “Because he probably felt bad for you. He told me how before him you didn’t really have anyone.”

“You fucking-” “Y/N?” You looked seeing Emilia stand there with her duffle bag. “Everything okay here?” You shook a bit before nodding. “Yes. It’s fine.” You whipped around heading to the restroom to sit there. Lena sighed sadly.

“I head some of what you said and if you genuinely think he got with her because he felt bad for her. Then you obviously don’t fucking know him.” Everyone walked in shortly after getting the explanation of the mission from Emilia.

“Where’s Y/N?” Adrian asked a bit concerned. “She’s in the restroom. I think she might stay out of this one she’s not feeling too hot.” Harcourt shot Lena a smirk as Adrian stood up immediately heading to the restroom. You sat on the floor trying to rein your emotions in.

“Hey Spidey you okay?” Adrian knocked on the door concerned. “Yeah..I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.” “Harcourt said you are sitting this one out?” “No she thought I was, but I’ll be fine.” You needed to kill something right now. “Okay..can you open the door?” You stood up opening the door with a blank face.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.” Adrian grabbed your hand stopping you. “Hey you look upset-” “I’m not let me go.” You yanked your hand away from him walking away.

“I’m ready Harcourt.” You grabbed your bag walking to the van first. She sighed. You looked...frozen again.

When she first met you, she knew you had been through it and because of that you were a shell. She was happy when you met Adrian. John and her both were. You went from a cold sad person to something better.

You all sat in the van listening to music. You loaded your guns getting ready. Adrian sat next to you confused. You refused to look or talk to him. “Woo!” Chris cheered out rocking along to the music trying to cut the tension. “I get to see the famous Black Widow in action.” Lena smiled at you. “I heard you were a cold calculated killer back then!” She yelled out over the music. Adebayo glared at her a bit as you stared blankly at the wall.

Deep breath in and out. You kept telling yourself. They can’t see how you feel. Don’t show them..don’t show him.

You glanced at Adrian. He looked worried and sad..Sighing a bit, you reached your hand grabbing his. Adrian smiled tightly gripping your hand back. Lena smiled sadly seeing both of your friendship bracelets connect. They were magnetic ones that you had gifted Adrian shortly before you both got together.

She wanted that with him.

Adrian didn’t know what was going on with you. “I miss you..” You whispered out to him. He tightened his grip. “You don’t have to say it back..but I miss you.” The van stopped as you all climbed out. Adrian wanted to follow you, but it didn’t go with the plan. You were going in by yourself to open the entrance for them.

“I’ll be back.” You told all of them. Getting a boost from Chris to crawl through the vents. It didn’t go as plan. The exhaustion and the self doubts were getting to you and you made a small mistake. Without realizing you were being followed, you opened the door for everyone else. Only for the nearby person to alert everyone else.

“We gotta get to the file room!” Emilia yelled out. You reloaded shooting someone down. “I’ll go!” You yelled out. “I’ll go with her!” Lena yelled out following you. You both ran alongside each other. “I’m sorry for what I said! I wasn’t trying to distract you-” “Shut up!” You kicked the door down shooting the people inside down.

“I got it.” You walked to the computer grabbing the flash drive from your suit pocket sticking it into the computer. “Man this is a massacre...I guess they were right about you huh-” “Shut the actual fuck up! I get it! You like my boyfriend!! Now shut the fuck up!” You slammed the table before turning around.

You grabbed the flash before gasping with her seeing six men crowd you both. “I have one clip you?” “I have my knife only..” She mumbled out. You nodded tossing the flash drive to her. “Get it out of here.” You began shooting at the men. “I’ll cover you-” “I can’t leave you!” “Go!” You yelled out to her shooting two out of the six down. She sighed before running out.

Everyone else waited outside for you both surprised to see Lena run out only. “Where’s Y/N?!” Adrian asked her as she handed the flash drive to Harcourt. “There was six of them she covered me!” Adrian’s eyes widened running back in. “VIg!” Chris yelled out as he ignored everyone.

You stood above the six men gasping for air. They were all down. Lena was right you were a cold blooded killer. This was what you knew how to do. Adrian barged in seeing you. You looked up at him slightly teary eyed. “Oh hey-” “Thank fucking god.”

You tensed up as he wrapped you in a tight hug. “I was fucking terrified when she said you were by yourself and I rushed in here. I’m so fucking happy you are okay..” He yanked his mask off kissing you. You reached up pulling away from his softly. “Let’s get out of here..” You smiled at him.

Conflicted with your feelings, you didn’t know how to respond with him. You missed him, but Lena had gotten to you bad. You killed the six men like it was nothing. She was right. Adrian was probably only with you from pity.

You all sat in the van. Adrian latched onto you still worked up from before. “We should go out!” Lena exclaimed. Chris nodded, “I like your thinking! I’m in everyone else?” They all nodded as Adrian looked towards you. “Sure.” You mumbled out trying to ignore the feeling of the blood seeping through your suit.

You stood in the shower letting the water wash away the pain of today. Adrian sat outside on your bed petting Finley. “Do you know what’s going on with her bud?” Finley tilted his head in confusion as Adrian sighed. “I’ll ask her tonight.”

You both drove to the bar in silence. “Okay. Look I don’t know why you’re upset, but I can’t fix the problem until you talk to me.” You looked down glancing at him. “Adrian I need some time to think about something..sorry.” He smiled. “It’s okay just please talk to me when you are ready?” You nodded getting out of the car with him.

The night was going okay so far. You had managed to smile at some of John’s jokes and tried to ignore Lena staring at you. Everyone else started heading out one by one leaving Chris, Adrian, Lena and you behind. “Adry can we talk please?” Adrian nodded heading to the bar with her. “Adry?..” You grimaced a bit as Chris sighed. “I know it’s gross.” You chuckled a bit.

“Tell me about it..” Chris stood quiet for a moment before sighing. “Okay look I kinda get what you are feeling so I’ll be the one to tell you what you need to hear. Adrian doesn’t like her. He’s so disgustingly obsessed with you and as much as she bugs you. Trust me she’s got nothing on you. So will you please stop moping around and get back to being a badass.” You grinned a bit knowing he was trying to make you feel better.

“Thanks..you are right..I’ll go talk to him. Are you gonna be okay alone?” He nodded. “Go. I see someone smiling at me from here and I plan on heading her way.” “Gross.” You stood up walking to Adrian and Lena.

You stopped seeing him laugh at something she said. He looked so happy. He never laughed that hard with you. Did he? The self doubts and hate started crawling through your body again. You hated it. You wanted it to stop. You wanted her to stop. You wanted Adrian to come comfort you. You just wanted to go talk to him..

So why couldn’t you move now? You clenched your first trying not to lose control of the little restraint on your body you had.

Your chest tightened as you felt the air in your body leave. Why couldn’t you breathe now? Shaking you raised your hands seeing them struggle to stop. Adrian looked up noticing you on edge. He began to drift from Lena’s conversation worriedly looking at you. “Adrian you still with me?” He shook his head. “Sorry.”

You wanted to run out of there and run to him. You couldn’t pick which one to do. Tears burned your eyes as you took a small step back. You jumped feeling a hand on your shoulder. It was a tall blonde haired man. “Hey miss are you okay?” “I-I..” Nothing wanted to come out.

“Hey hey it’s okay here let’s have a seat and you can take a breath?” You shook your head wanting to say how you wanted to get to Adrian. His hand was only on you for a second more before it was removed by someone.

“I got her. Thanks.” The man looked as you grabbed Adrian. “Oh okay you sure?” He nodded. “Yeah thanks dude.” Adrian wrapped his arm around you leading you out the door. He walked you to the car stopping as you grabbed his hand.

“Hey come on let’s go home-” “Do you still love me?” You whispered out brokenly. Adrian jumped a bit at your words. “What?” “I-I..I know I’m not perfect..I am a cold person and you should be with someone better than me..A lot of people always ask why you’re with me..So I need to know. I need the reassurance..Adrian do you still love me?” You let the tears fall as Adrian stood stunned.

“Y/N-” “I’m sorry..I’m not the most open person and you could be with someone like Lena who you wouldn’t have to convince to give you a chance..But I love you so fucking much it hurts me..I haven’t loved anyone as much as I loved you.” Adrian smiled at your words wanting nothing more than to comfort you.

You continued to babble letting it all out. “When I look at you I feel so weak, but so much stronger at the same time and that terrifies me. I didn’t know I could ever feel that way. Adrian I’m sorry if I’m not enough..Lena said it herself if you’re forcing yourself to be with me you don’t have too-”

“She said what?!” Adrian barked out angrily. You flinched a bit as he crossed his arms. “What else did she say?” “Adrian-” “I’m not mad at you talk to me.” You nodded. “She said she’s in love with you..and that you told her that I didn’t have anyone before you so you probably are forcing yourself to be with me and how I was a cold blooded killer and you are so warm and thoughtful. You shouldn’t be with me-” “Fuck her.”

“Adrian she was right-” “No absolutely not. Fuck her. I love you. I am with you. I chose you like you chose me. You could’ve been with absolutely anyone and you chose me! Y/N you are literally so fucking perfect to me! You are such a beautiful person inside and out! I’m not good at expressing myself!! I never thought for once in my entire life that I’d ever have what I have with you! I don’t care about your past! I don’t! If anything it’s awesome to me! You worked so hard to get to were you are today!”

You closed your eyes sobbing as Adrian pulled you to him. He kissed your forehead before moving all over your face. “Now stop crying over something so dumb. She’s an idiot. I fucking hate her now-” “She’s your friend-” “No she’s not if she made you feel like this.”

Adrian tightened his grip on you. “I just love you so much. I’m sorry-” “No don’t. You did nothing wrong. I love you. It’s only ever you. You! I want nothing in this world but you and I can prove it.” Adrian opened the car door helping you in.

He drove you both home humming along to the music wanting to soothe you some more. You smiled knowing what he was trying to do. “I’m sorry we haven’t spent time together and I’m sorry that she made you feel like this.”

You shook your head. “Not your fault-” “It is. I should’ve noticed. I’m such a fucking dick.” “Adrian-” “No you are literally so fucking perfect why the fuck did i let her fucking trick me?!”

Adrian pulled into the drive way leading you inside. “Come on in!” You yelped as he threw you over his shoulder running to the bedroom. “Adrian!” Finley barked following you both in.

“I wanted a better setting and time for this, but I literally bought this like four months ago and I can’t think of a better way to prove this to you-” “Adrian you have nothing to prove-”

“Give me my moment!” You laughed as he dug through the drawer. “Found it! Finley get over here!” You smiled seeing him run to Adrian. “Do you remember our trick bud?” Finley wagged his tail as Adrian bent down putting something in his collar. “Get the flower!” Finley ran off as Adrian sat next to you. “I love you. I do and everyone else who found out said it was too early for this, but I want this so bad and I’m hoping you do too.” You tilted your head confused as Finley ran in with a sunflower plushie.

“Good boy.” Adrian pet his head handing the plushie to you. “Was this it?” “Yeah..” You chuckled a bit. “All of that trouble for a plush?” He gulped a bit nervously as you pet FInley seeing something stick out from his collar. “What the fuck....” You stood silent grabbing the ring from his collar.

“I got that four months ago, My original plan was to have this whole thing and the others would help and stuff...but I don’t care anymore because you need to know I would rather die than be without you. If you ever left me or died that would be my villain origin story.”

You laughed a bit. “You realized last week when I offered sex to you. You turned it down?” “I did?!” You nodded showing him the message. “That’s what you offered!? You have to straight up tell me these things!” You snorted as Adrian leaned in kissing you.

“I’m not hearing a no?” He anxiously fiddled with his fingers. “I’m not saying no...Are you okay with a cold blooded killer as your forever person?”

Adrian grinned. “It’s only ever been you. Plus you’re such a bad ass.” You kissed him with a smile. “I love you..Yeah..I’ll marry you.” Adrian sat up shouting. “FUCK YEAH!!”

#fanfiction #adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #adrian chase x you #vigilante fanfiction #vigilante peacemaker #vigilante x reader #peacemaker #adrian chase peacemaker #fanfic #adrian chase fanfiction #vigilante adrian chase

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angstama · 3 years

Text

god knows you tried | manjiro (mikey) sano

pairing: bonten!mikey x reader

genre: angst

warnings: heartbreak, attempt suicide(?), original characters/manga plot (pls do not read if you haven’t read the manga D: ), mentions of religion, implied sex (no smut ok!)

summary: god knows you tried your best. if only mikey knew how hard you’re trying too then perhaps this love wouldn’t hurt as much as you thought.

words: 1823 words

a/n: i think this sucks but... i hope you enjoy it! <3

god knows you tried.

you watched the ex-toman boys eagerly catching up with takemichi quietly, hands resting against your chin as you took in the rare sight in front of you with a sad smile etched on your lips. this was the happy ending that mikey had sacrificed for everyone but himself.

“a penny for your thoughts?” mitsuya asks, plopping down next you on to the stone steps. that’s right, it’s june 19th 2018, toman’s formation day anniversary and everyone had gathered around to re-open the time capsule from twelve years ago. “hm? nothing much. just missing a particular someone.” you hummed, dragging your fingers across the ground to draw a heart. mitsuya nods understandingly, knowing not to pry any deeper anymore and for that, you’re thankful.

crouching down, you hesitantly picked up the the blue coloured envelope you left behind twelve years ago. unsure if you’d wanna read the contents of the letter your naive self written back then. with a deep breath, you slipped open the cover. revealing a photo of candid photo of you and mikey leaning on each other asleep with your mouths wide open taken by emma.

dearest y/n,

i wonder what you’re doing right now?

are you perhaps finally studying in film?

has that idiot manjiro finally proposed to you?

or are you the one who proposed to him?

“y/n, you’ll be with me for a long time right?” mikey asked, staring at the very sky that you both loved oh so very much with your hands intertwined. having grown up with each other since young had pretty much given you both the illusion that the two of you will always be a part of each other’s world. and you hoped with every inch of your heart that mikey wants it to be that way forever. “of course. you’re my heaven and home mikey. i wouldn’t go anywhere else without you by my side.” you squeezed his hand in assurance, knowing that at this very moment, mikey was at his most truthful and vulnerable self with you.

whatever it is, i hope that you’re living the happy life with him that you’ve been dreaming of.

signing off,

toman’s honorary member, y/n l/n.

everyone was silent. even hakkai who had been making fun of everyone’s letter kept quiet. the boys knew how much you loved and you still love mikey. each opting to give you the concerned and sympathetic look. you could feel you heart breaking even more for you knew you weren’t doing anything that you had hoped for back then.

you felt mitsuya’s comforting hand softly grabbing onto yours. “well that’s depressing,” you chuckled softly, wanting to get rid of the awkward tension in the air as soon as possible. “let’s grab some ramen, i’m starving.” and with that, you let your feet drag you away from the heavy atmosphere with your head hung low.

perhaps the hurt wouldn't be as painful if you weren’t the only one who knew what kind of path mikey had chosen to go down. you see, when mikey turned his back against all his closest friend, you had the privilege of staying as his only constant thanks to your stubborn nature but even with that, you weren’t enough to keep him away from his dark impulses. mikey chose the path to destruction and the only thing that you could do was watch from the sidelines and be there when he shows up at wee hours of the night to borrow your body. but you didn't mind. it was during these most intimate moments with mikey that you finally get to feel a piece of him again when he spews the words of “i love you” so effortlessly.

god knows that you tried.

“mikey those aren’t good for you.” you frowned, snatching the capsule away from his hand seconds before he could flush it down his system. “what the fuck y/n?” the angered male snaps. you felt yourself falling and back colliding against the hard ground. opening your eyes, you see mikey pining you down with nothing but void darkness in his eyes. “i’ll fucking kill you if you do it again.” mikey taunts, he was serious and you know it.

“then kill me mikey.” the words slipped out of your tongue instantly. you were tired. tired of trying. you don't know what else can you possibly do to help mikey anymore. mikey says nothing but got off you. he dusted himself and without sparing you single glance, he showed you his back again, walking out of the door where sanzu was already holding open for him. “get her home.” you heard him say.

it’s been a week since you guys opened the time capsule. nothing much had happened since then except you’ve been spending more time with hina considering how she’s often over to mitsuya’s studio for gown fitting. you admired and envy her love story with takemichi. but who were you to complain? you were lucky enough that mikey still wanted you around. so it shouldn’t hurt so much when you sae her adorning the beautiful wedding gown that mitsuya had spent months on tailoring.

you let out a tired yawn, stretching your arms above your head as you finished touching up the last few bits of editing on your laptop. you looked over at the calendar on your table, a pink heart circled over today’s date and smiled. “mitsuya, i’m gonna knock off first okay?” you announced, tidying up your table and reaching out for the bag of the familiar favourite deserts of a certain male.

mitsuya nods, “thank you for your hard work y/n”. he flashes you a smile, eye slowly trailing to the white plastic bag dangling from your side as you waved goodbye, back facing him and walking away. “you’re going to see him aren't you?” you stopped in your tracks. “i know he never left you. plus you got a bag filled with dorayakis and taiyakis. that’s pretty obvious.” mitsuya chuckles. you always knew mitsuya to be perceptive but it never once occured to you that your best friend who is also your boss would ever catch on to the secret you’ve been hiding for twelve years.

“how did yo-”

“be careful y/n.” mitsuya waves you off, going back to whatever he was doing. a fond smile creeps onto your lips as you watched mitsuya working hard. “thank you mitsuya. for everything. really,” you whispered, but loud enough for the dual dyed coloured hair boy to look up again when you walked away.

you made your way towards the secluded vip section of the club through swarms of body swaying around you until you saw the familiar tall pink haired male standing outside the golden door.

“hey sanzu,” you greeted, barely audible over the loud booming music. you were about to push the door open when sanzu towers over you immediately, denying you of your entrance. you looked at sanzu in confusion, “it’s me, y/n. i’m here to see mikey.” you said loudly, voice straining to over power the background noise. “ i know. but mikey will not be seeing anyone right now.” he retorts back.

surely mikey knew that you were visiting tonight right? after all it’s your anniversary date. you tilted your head at sanzu. not fully understanding what he’s saying. to say that you’re feeling absolutely livid would be an understatement right now. you’re too tired, angry and broken hearted to process anything anymore so you exploded. you only wanted to see your boyfriend. was that a very difficult request?

“sanzu,” you said lowly, eyes staring blankly into his and as if on cue, you brought your knees to his precious manhood before making another high kick at him, bringing him down. it was a technique that mikey had taught you when you were younger and attending martial arts lesson together with baji. god you missed baji so much.

“y/n because you’re short, you can do this instead.” mikey suggested smugly, kneeing poor baji’s little friend before swinging his legs much more harder than he intended to at baji’s profile when he bent forward. the main point was to get your opponent to lean forward so that your legs could reach high enough to create an impact on their skull. you eyes lit up in excitement, “wow! that’s so cool! let me try it!” you jumped impatiently. turning towards mikey to execute the exact same move. “wait n-! AHH,” mikey’s eyes widened, and before he knew it, you had completely knocked him over.

that day, as mikey and baji lied down with pain still intact barely moving an inch, shinchiro only gave you a thumbs up and praised you for taking down the invincible mikey. you were the only one who could do that.

“sanzu, i’ll see my boyfriend as and when i’d like to.” you said curtly, eyeing sending daggers at him lying on the ground before stepping over him to swing the door open, revealing your petite self to the other bonten’s executives and hostess who were staring at you in surprise.

you don’t see anyone else but your lover who’s currently sitting in the center with two pretty hostess sitting by his side. you don’t hesitate and begun walking towards him. “get your hands off my man.” you said calmly. there was tension in the air and from the corner of your eyes, you could see the executives slowly getting up to leave as if on cue.

“aren’t you as stubborn as always,” he raises a brow as you settled down next to him, pouring the bag of dessert on the glass table in front of you. you smile softly, grabbing a packet of taiyaki and handing it to him before grabbing one for yourself too. “happy 14th anniversary mikey.” you mumbled softly before grabbing a bite. 14 years, that was how long you two had been together for. “mhm. happy 14th anniversary y/n.” mikey hums, allowing you lean in close to him and resting your head on his chest.

you take in the scent of mikey for you knew that this is going to be the last time you’re going to be able to hold mikey close to you. you didn't want this moment to end but you were too tired to continue on and see what's going to happen the next when you go back to just another normal day. you held tightly to the gun you hid in your bag, shutting your eyes tightly.

“hey mikey,” you called out. you never thought you’d see it again but you saw a flash of endearment in his eyes when you called him. “i love you so much, promise you’ll take care of yourself alright?” you smiled warmly before pulling the gun out of your bag and putting it against your head.

god knows you tried.

god knows you did your best and now you’re going home.

bang!

#tokyorev x reader #tokyo revengers #mikey x you #mikey sano #mitsuya takashi #toman #chifuyu matsuno #mikey x y/n #fanfic

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akaashisupremacy · 3 years

Text

Fated

Summary: You’re dating your ex-fiancee Gojo again, but your relationship hits a crucial crossroad. Do you stay or do you go?

Gojo Satoru x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers

“You’re hiding something from me.” Gojo Satoru confronts you as you step onto the hallway for spare rooms in Jujutsu Tech.

He is in your way. You try not to get irritated.

“No, I’m not.” you snap. It’s been a long day. You don’t need this. You push him aside and keep walking. Gojo is irritably good at sniffing things out.

He swiftly appears before you again and blocks your way, “What is it?”

“I missed my period.” You stop and cross your arms, “If you really wanna know.”

“Oh.” He mumbles softly. He looks incredulous, as if he is yet to be sure of what he just heard. You walk past him.

“Oh.” he repeats again, eyes widening as the weight of your words dawn. He turns to you.

You leave him standing there, arrested and head to your room. You’re too tired for this.

Gojo watches you enter your room and lie down. He tries to offer you something to eat since you look so pallid under the fluorescent light of the room.

“I’m not hungry. Just sleepy.” you yawn, waving dismissively.

Gojo feels obligated to stay. He looks at you quietly from the door, unable to leave.

“This really isn’t the most opportune of times,” he breathes in, “but are you seeing anyone else?”

“No.” you murmur, “I don’t have the time.”

He walks in to sit beside you, making sure to close the door behind him. You roll over to the other side of the bed away from his gaze.

Gojo knows he is not an easy person to be with. He’s your ex-fiancée for one thing, and he struggles with monogamy for another.

Being able to be intimate with you again was a chance only the gods could’ve intervened. And now that chance is starting to fade. He lies down beside you, his eyes towards the ceiling. At the start of your relationship, it was him who was hesitant. Things are reversed tonight.

“I don’t want to talk. Go away.” you cut in before he says anything, “I’m seeing a doctor soon to make sure.”

He nods understandingly and quietly, but slowly pads out of the room. The weight of the floor lightly creaks under his footsteps. The silence between the two of you dominates the hall.

————————————————————————————

There was a time when you were younger that you would visit Gojo in his family home. After dinner, you’d sneak outside to his family garden to capture fireflies in paper lanterns.

That was a much different time of course. Since then, you’ve been arranged to be married, broken up and begun precariously seeing each other again after ten years.

“Why are you wading around in the darkness?” he asks, sitting on a pile of rocks, his hands inside his pockets.

Neither of you are really kids anymore, but your fondness for fireflies remains. On your occasional stays in Jujutsu Tech for your sorcery job, you like to spend your down time in the gardens at night.

“I need a break from people.” you comment succinctly.

You’re both quiet from a moment. Gojo becomes too impatient for you to start the conversation.

“So what did the doctor say?” Curiosity overcame him.

You lower your lantern by your side, making sure to face away from him as you reply, “She tried to ask if I was married and if my family knew.”

You turn around quickly, waving your hands before he can react, “You don’t need to worry. I’m considering not keeping it...it’s too much time and work…and it made me think about us. I think we should just end things…whatever this is.”

Gojo knew that this day would come. Deep down, he already prepared himself for when your relationship would end. Yet instead of acceptance, indignance rises in his chest.

“How could you let me go so easily? How are you done with us?” he finds himself saying.

He knew his disinterest in monogamy would come to bite him back someday, but he hadn’t imagined himself in a deeply romantic and emotional relationship with you when it happened.

You shake your head. The sounds of crickets and cicadas keep the silences from being too empty.

“Every year I used to wait to see if this was the year we reconciled. If this was the year we would fix things, not necessarily be lovers, but to just be back in each other's lives.” You look to the stars, sitting in a large rock beside him, “I waited maybe 11 years to see it happen even if I didn’t know if it would come at all. And I can wait another lifetime to try again. But I think in this life, our time has to end. This isn’t going to work out, Satoru.”

Gojo feels as if his lungs will collapse. It hurts him even more to know that you do love him but you’d rather he be out of your life.

“Why would you wait another lifetime for me when I’m here now?” he murmurs.

“I can’t have you to myself.” you say simply, “I can’t take this anymore. Even if I’m not pregnant, I want to be the only one in your life.”

“You are the most important person in my life.” he grabs your hand to reassure you. You don’t resist.

You face him, tears running down your eyes, “Then I don’t understand how you can say that and still need someone else.”

Gojo feels his chest crushed with heaviness. The weight spreads to his back, his arms and neck. For the first time in years, he feels helpless.

“We knew this was coming.” you mutter, pulling your hand away to make your exit out of the garden.

Gojo does not chase after you. He notices his bandages are wet.

————————————————————————

Gojo walks around in a daze for the next few days. People always say that he is a man who has everything, but for now he is the man with only questions without answers.

How can he make you stay?

“Gojo,” Utahime nudge, “GOJO!��

She sharply jabs a finger by his side to bring him back to reality. He jerks back, accidentally hitting the wooden walls of the hallway with a resounding thud.

“Are you even listening to me?” she hisses. He hasn’t been paying attention at the school meeting and her temper is rising. How can he go around doing the bare minimum and still be so praised. She was ready to throw a fit.

“Well…we’re kind of expecting…but we might not keep the baby…and ahh…” he uses his full concentration to string together his thoughts.

Utahime stops in her tracks and rubs her temples. Every other conversation she has with him always sends her reeling.

She crosses her arms together, “Let me guess, one of you wants to keep the kid and the other doesn’t?”

“OMIGOSH YES!” Gojo raises his hands as if someone finally gets him, “How did you know?!”

Utahime looks slightly alarmed at his expression. Protective of your privacy, she looks left and right to see if anybody is nearby. She shrugs.

Gojo continues, “These past few days have made me realize how badly I want a family with them. I really want this! Except it made them realize they want a family with someone else…and I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to make them feel the same way.”

His voice softens towards the end of his sentence as he slowly sinks back into his thoughts.

Utahime takes a moment before dispensing her bit of wisdom.

“Having a child with someone is an incredibly huge sacrifice. If you really want this…then you have to make a sacrifice equal in weight. Whatever that will be…” she sighs, adjusting her kimono. “And I have a feeling you haven’t properly explained to her what an open relationship is.”

She peers at him from the side of her eye. His guilty expression confirms her suspicions.

Every now and then, Utahime feels envious of his power. However, today is not one of those days. He has some hard choices to face she would not want to deal with.

—————————————————————— “Hey!”

A week after your last conversation, Gojo spots you in the school and immediately rushes towards you.

In panic, you shove yourself into an empty meeting room and try to shut the door. He jams his foot between the ledge and determinedly peers you from the door crack.

“Oh no, you are not shutting me out. We are going to talk like proper adults.” he insists.

Your instincts kick in. You kick his feet and push him back. You bolt the door shut and slump down behind it. You’re safe for now.

“You can’t keep running away.” he breathes out from the other side, “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you quickly rebut, “Gojo, I have no family. There’s no one to help me. I’m going to be alone if this kid comes out of me.”

Your voice fades hoarsely as you utter the last few words.

“You have me.” his soothes in a contemplative voice.

You want to laugh. This relationship was doomed from the start. You were such a masochist for even trying. You must have been consumed with your attraction to him.

Gojo was no different though— he couldn’t help himself. You both want each other too much and now you both were paying the price.

You shake your head, “You’ll just leave me when things get tough. I’m tired of cleaning after your mess. Why can’t you just let me have my way?”

Gojo has no time to be taken aback.

“Because I don’t want a family with anyone else. I’m desperate to make this work with you.” he pleads, “ Don’t push me away. I have my own doubts about myself, and I understand where you’re coming from but I wish you believed in me more.”

You pretend not to hear him.

“I’ll be here for you and our baby, even if it's not always romantic.” he adds, his voice pleading, “I know you’re terrified that I’ll just leave you but…”

You interrupt him by opening the door. As if on instinct he hides his vulnerability from you. His posture leans back coolly, waiting on your next move.

“Gojo, I’m just frustrated to always be at the mercy of your choices. Don’t you understand?”

His lips part slowly, “If you’re not ready for a family, it’s fine. But don't you want to make this last longer?”

——————————————————

“Oh, Satoru, what have we done?” you quietly murmur, staring at the ceiling of his room.

It’s your first night in his faculty dormitory. You’ve never really been before. His room is too close to the principal’s for a casual date night visit.

Gojo’s long switched off the lights but neither of you can sleep.

“What do you mean? The baby or the wedding?” he chuckles.

You shrug, “Both?”

You shift around the sheets, the linen ruffling under your movement.

He crosses his arms and turns to you, “Well, we’ve established that the first one was an accident. The wedding—well—it’s mostly so you and the baby will be under the protection of the Gojo clan.”

Gojo promised to close his open relationship status until your kid is one and you take his word for it. It is perplexing that the wedding was his idea too. However there was something about his sincerity that you could not refuse

“How long till we regret all this?” you half-murmur, half-sigh.

“Honestly, probably every time we hit a rough patch. But we’re not meant to always be happy anyways.” he sighs lying on his arm. It’s an honest enough answer.

You sit up and put your arms around your waist, “Such optimism you have there. So tell me, oh all powerful Satoru, why are we here then?”

“For me, it's to be able to find and meet you.” he says simply.

He catches you off guard with the tenderness of his words. You reach out to touch the side of his face and gently rub your thumb on his cheek. He presses your hand on his cheek.

“If things fell apart again and you had to wait another ten years for us to fix it, would you?”

He asks so quietly you almost don’t hear him.

Your face flushes under the cover of darkness.

“…Yes, I love you too much. This was never going to be just an arranged marriage for me even when we were younger…then again, I think you already know that.” you admit in a shaky whisper.

Now that you've married him, you've given yourself permission acknowledge your true feelings to yourself. You have always been in love with him. And being apart did not changed that.

Propping himself up by the elbow, you realize his face is so close to yours. You can almost feel the wisps of his long lashes on your cheek.

“I know this isn’t your ideal wedding, but this is more than just a shotgun marriage for me too. You are my fated. And you are the only being I want to go through this with—sorcerer, curse or otherwise.”

You try not to giggle at the mention of curses.

“Through this life and the next?” you said with a small smile.

“Through this life and the next.” he assures firmly, squeezing your hand.

You smile widely and he looks at you fondly. These are your favorite moments with him, when you’re at the brink of losing each other in your gazes.

Gojo breaks your shared reverie.

“Can you kiss me?” he grins cheekily, “As your new husband…”

You kiss his forehead without skipping a beat. He flips over, still propping himself by his stomach.

“So what shall we do on our wedding night? Try for twins?” he smirks.

You roll your eyes extra hard to make sure he sees it. Gojo only laughs.

He shuffles out of bed and tosses you your coat, “Well if you really can’t sleep, we might as well go out and see the fireflies. They look bright tonight.”

You put on your coat and smile.

Another lifetime is too far away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. Check out the other parts!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

A/N: When I first wrote the original four chapters, I had already know that this was how the series would end (even though I didn't plan to write it all the way here). I don't know if I will continue writing. I have some extra material, but I don't really know if I'd like to write it out. If I ever make up my mind to do so, you will see me pop up in your notifs.

If not, I guess this is the end. if you've gone through all 8 chapters, thank you for joining me in this wild, heartfelt ride! Comment or message to be added to the taglist! Or write down some comments about your feelsssss

Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel@samkysnks@herownescape@cherrianne192@shamelessdonutsludgebanana@kageyamakock@shirostrbl@luvang3l@cloudsinthecosmos@httpjungoo @saturnki @itstheee-ha-chan@gucci-froggy@soy1melk @dora-the-grownup @cherryonigiri @fiona782 @a--nonymousse @naturakaashi

If you’d like to continue being part of my taglist (JJK or Haikyuu), please let me know! I also write oneshots for both fandoms and soon I’ll be doing BSD too!

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dumbikawa · 3 years

Text

Silent Promises (Oikawa x Reader)

Fem!Reader | 1.5k Words | Angst to Fluff

WARNINGS: implied/mentioned drinking, drunk reader, some cursing, angst but not a lot

Summary: You’ve finally had enough of him missing date nights due to staying late at practice, so you decide to go out without him.

A/N: This is my first post!!! AHH please send in requests if you’d like, i’m really excited to write some!! (i hope this is good i’m a little rusty)

You’ve been waiting for Oikawa to come home for two hours now. Before he left this morning, you made sure to remind him about the plans you two had with some of your friends tonight, and could only hope that he wouldn’t go too overboard at practice. However, after seven unread texts and three missed calls, it’s pretty clear he completely forgot.

It’s been so long since you and Tooru had a night out or, honestly, any sort of date that didn’t revolve around sitting on the couch watching movies. Now, you loved those intimate nights with him, but you missed dressing up and making his jaw drop. It was obvious what you were getting yourself into when you first started dating Oikawa at the beginning of third year. His passion and drive are just a couple of the things you admire most about him. But he’d also made it clear that he knew what he was doing by getting into a relationship where he’d have to learn to share his time.

The sound of the door opening catches your attention for a moment, but you swiftly turn back to mindlessly scrolling through your phone. You have every right to give him a little bit of the cold shoulder routine right now.

“Hey, babe. Sorry, practice ran longer than expected,” Oikawa sighs, exhaustion lacing his words. He sets his bag down in the hallway before making his way towards you. “Wow, you look incredible. Meeting up with friends?” You bite the inner skin of your lip, trying to suppress the anger that’s begun to boil over.

“Did you look at your phone?” you ask, still refusing to turn your attention towards him even though you’d usually already be giving him a welcome home peck on the lips. Silence hangs heavy in the air between the two of you as he unlocks his phone and reads the texts you’d sent nearly three hours ago now.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, shuffling his feet back and forth, unsure of how to make this situation better. “I lost track of time and--”

“Tooru! I don’t want your excuses this time! I want you to listen to me and put me first for once. I’m your significant other, I don’t think I’m asking for too much!” You shove yourself up from off the couch and look at him. He rakes his eyes over you, taking in your bold lipstick and strappy heels. You do the same, noticing how his hair is tousled and sticking up at all different angles from him continually running his hands through the sweaty strands. His apologetic expression switches to one of annoyance as he turns away from you.

“Y/n, I’d never ask you to put me before your career--”

“That’s because you don’t have to!” He refuses to make eye contact as he moves towards the door to pick up his bag. You remember when you used to dress up and he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you. Now, you just feel stupid.

“This isn’t fair, y/n. I’m exhausted, okay? And I need to shower, so can we talk about this later?” There’s no time for you to respond before he’s turning on his heels and moving towards your shared bedroom. You stay rooted in place, utterly dumbfounded. The bedroom door swings closed and you can faintly hear the sound of the shower switching on through the wall.

Tears sting your eyes as you lean forward and quickly try to blink them away. There was no way you’d be ending this night with mascara tears cascading down your face; you’d spent way too long on this look and this mascara wasn’t waterproof. This was supposed to be a fun night between the two of you to make up for how busy he’d been lately, but now maybe it’s a self-care party. I will not let this ruin my night. At the very least, you needed a drink and to dance with your friends to reassure yourself that you’re hot and don't need Oikawa to remind you of that.

While you’re sure he can’t hear you over the running water of the shower, you snatch your purse off the counter and slip confidently out the door.

Oikawa knew he’d messed up as soon as he closed the bedroom door. A pile of rejected outfits were strewn about your side of the bed and you’d left your makeup laid out along the sink. He loves watching you get ready to go out. How you’d jump from one thing to another with seemingly no rhyme or reason, but he knew the methods to your madness. You’d begin applying makeup then get up to fix your hair just to avoid doing your liner for another few minutes.

When one of his teammates asked him to stay late to practice spikes, he hadn’t thought twice about it. Stepping into the warm water of the shower further clears his mind and forces him to reflect on the last few weeks. You’re completely right; he’d been taking you for granted. It was too easy for him to get caught up in getting better to be the best, that he didn’t consider how unreasonable it was to expect you to wait for him.

He steps out of the shower and quickly towels off. You deserved a good night and he’s going to try and make this better any way he can. Maybe there would still be time for him to hurriedly get changed, but when he went to ask your opinion he realized you were gone. He’d expected you to still be on the couch, yet the apartment was quiet. Fear plagues his mind as he rapidly dials your number, hoping you pick up. This must be what it’s like to wait for me, he thinks. I should’ve at least texted her.

An uneasy feeling begins to pool in the pit of his stomach as the call goes to voicemail. What if you’d finally had enough? What if his worst fear has come true; he lost you and it was all his fault.

With nothing else to do, he begins hanging up the clothes you left on the bed. He’s seen you in almost every one of them before. It was incredible how you could turn any event into a runway where all eyes are trained on you. He loved it because he was always there by your side. Tonight, though, he can’t protect you or admire the confidence you exude. There’s that feeling in his stomach growing again. He moves from the closet to the bathroom to carefully place the cosmetics back in their assigned drawers. It’s all just making him feel worse.

A little while later, his phone begins to go off. It’s been a couple hours since you left and he’s fine with you still being mad as long as he knows you’re okay. He feels his body physically deflate as Iwa’s name pops up on the screen, although he would appreciate a distraction.

“Shittykawa, what did you do?” Oikawa’s mouth hangs open momentarily, running through the various things he’s done wrong the last few days trying to decide what he might be referring to. “Y/n is at the bar wasted and when I asked where you were she said something about ‘probably making out with a volleyball’ before taking another shot.” If he wasn’t so overwhelmed with worry and guilt he might’ve been able to choke out a laugh, but all he can think about is how desperately he wants to have you back safe in his arms.

“Is she okay? I’m coming right now, please take care of her.”

“Don’t worry, you stay there. I’m bringing her back to the apartment. Just...y/n is good for you. Don’t be a dumbass and spend some time with her.”

A few minutes pass and there’s a loud knock at the door. Oikawa shoots off the couch to help your stumbling figure through the door. He exchanges a quick, grateful look to his spikey-haired friend before shutting the door and turning his full attention to you.

“Hey, let’s go take your makeup off and get you some water.” He manages to lead you to the bedroom where you make yourself comfortable on the floor. This isn’t the first time he’s taken off your makeup for you, so he’s familiar with your specific routine.

“Tooru,” you whisper, looking through your lashes up at him. The little gesture is enough to make him beam. “You’re a dick.” And as quickly as it appeared, the smile is slapped off his face at your words.

“Yeah,” he laughs sadly, “I am a dick.” His response makes you frown and shake your head back and forth, contradictory to the statement you’d just expressed.

“No, you’re not! Don’t say that.” That elicits a genuine laugh from him as you close your eyes and lean into his touch. He isn’t quite certain what he should say, so he continues to hold your face as he wipes the last bits of mascara away. In that moment, he makes a silent promise to never leave you waiting again.

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa torū #oikawa fic #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x y/n

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swga-ficrecs · 3 years

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june 2021 recap

ahh june was a really fic-filled month!!! i used to be a silent reader but then i realized that it’s hard to go back to the fics i really liked reading since i had no way of finding them except for remembering key words and googling the shit out of it lol so!!! i thought of doing a monthly recap of all my favorites in addition to the fics i like and reblog. thank you to these wonderful authors who just write pure magic ✨

🏆 holy grail | ☀️ fluff | 🌧 angst | 💋 smut.

fave authors

🏆 @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

HOLY GRAIL AUTHOR!!! Loved a lot of their series because of the tropes and the plot. I’ll definitely come back to their fics in the future for another binge reading session

@taecalikook

Really loved their fuckboy trope fics. Has a few unfinished fics I’m excited to binge read once they’re completed

🏆 @gukyi

Discovered their work back in 2017? Really loved IGYMH and reread their masterlist this month

@ve1vetyoongi

All I can remember is the ending of Mic Drop and I can’t 😭 I’m really excited for their unfinished fics!!!!

fave fics

Arranged by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol MYG x student reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

Dissonance by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: bassist KTH x student / band manager reader

The Parting by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: flower shop owner PJM x reaper reader

The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

From Home by @gyukult 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol JJK x reader

jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

(Not) Just Friends by @.taecalikook 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Bestfriend / fuckboy / fratboy JJK x reader ft. KSJ

Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermilion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

Partiality by @jiminimoon 🏆 🌧

Pairing: Husband PJM x reader

You and Jimin argue about your kids not loving you two equally

Brown-eyed Baby by @jeonstudios 🏆 ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Single Parent JJK x reader

a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

I’ll Give You My Heart by @.gukyi 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: CEO bestfriend MYG x reader

gift exchanges are cool. gift exchanges with your ceo-slash-best friend min yoongi are less cool, because what the hell are you supposed to get the man that already has everything?

The Truth Between Us by @.gukyi and @jimlingss 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Editor MYG x reader

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Love is Blind by @cinnaminsvga 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

[Final] Pairing: Fake boyfriend KNJ x reader

social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way)

Love Grows Where You Go by @hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Fiancé MYG x reader

determined to make you and yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. you know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you’re positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don’t find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. that is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned.

Give Me Love by @.hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Lawyer boyfriend KNJ x reader

you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for over five years now, yet the talk of marriage has never been initiated between the two of you. of course, you try to somehow squeeze it in from time to time, but it seems like no matter what, namjoon just won’t take the hint

Cornfields and Cosmos by @jessikahathaway ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Alien MYG x reader

Cornfields: He was an alien. You were a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Probably. It’s the one where Yoongi’s a cold alien that needs love too.

Cosmos: Yoongi and you had been travelling together for a long time. You’d begun the terrifying journey of becoming parents. When a new person arrives in a way you didn’t expect, you and Yoongi’s relationship is sent into a tailspin.

The Art of Craving by @venusiangguk ☀️ 💋

Pairing: Single parent DILF JJK x reader

jk takes you to a bbq at his friends house. the tri-tip is good but the creampie is even better.

fics to i’m waiting to finish before binge reading

What we are not ; Soulmates by @.taecalikook

Pairing: MYG x reader x KTH

you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

When the sea sleeps by @.taecalikook

Pairing: KSJ x reader

marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

After Midnight by @.gyukult

Pairing: JJK x reader

jeon jungkook only likes seeing you after midnight.

Better With You by @ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: KSJ x reader

A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.

Operation: Love Letters by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

Remember Me by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

Taehyung wants to be forgotten. Overwhelmed by his life as idol persona V, he longs to just be Kim Taehyung for once. Even if that means forgetting everything he ever knew

🏆 The Prince and His Rose by @vanaera

Pairing: Football player / Childhood bestfriend JJK x reader

Drabble series of “For a While”

The Heart Holiday by @.vanaera

Pairing: MYG x reader

Valentine’s Day is declared as an official holiday. However, private companies’ standards dictate it’s only for the people who are currently in a relationship. Unluckily for Y/N, she doesn’t have this year’s PRS’ (Proof of Relationship Status) “in a relationship” box ticked – the only ticket out she can have to enjoy one paid week of holiday leave away from her hellish job. And more unfortunately for Y/N, everyone around her is oh so conveniently currently committed in a relationship. Except for one person: Min Yoongi, Y/N’s biggest critic in every pitch meeting, the picky guy who always picks on her, and the most annoying jerk of the century. Desperate for that holiday leave, Y/N strikes Yoongi up with an offer: Fake date each other two weeks before February 14, just enough time for the Department of Relationship Management (DRM) to consider processing their PRSs. After Valentine’s Day, they will go back to their own ways and never speak about whatever that may happen during the plan. Good, plain, and simple. That is until, Yoongi uncharacteristically oh so enthusiastically agrees to Y/N’s offer, leaving her thinking that she may have bitten something too much more than she can chew.

My Time by @.vanaera

Pairing: JJK x reader

A future technology allows cops to jump in the past and future to investigate crimes that have happened and prepare for those that are about to happen. A simple hit-and-run turns into something more when Captain Jeon Jungkook finds himself as the victim of a culprit who cannot be identified by the system. Especially when the culprit seems to be the same person behind the new case that’s threatening the order in the justice organization. All goes haywire when Jungkook gets involved with Y/N L/N, the clairvoyant sketch artist who may be his only help to solve the case.

Lost Stars by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.

so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.

Dexterity + Stupidity by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

a drabble series that features surgical intern!jeongguk x surgical resident!reader as they go through their odd senior-junior relationship, obviously having the hots for each other and yet, frustratingly goes into twists and turns in order to properly act on it.

Crimson Grail by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: MYG x reader

There were tales of the famed pirate Min Yoongi, Captain of the Crimson Grail. However, one meeting with him is hardly ever enough… One taste of adventure, and you were addicted.

Baby Talk by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: PJM x JJK x reader

Jimin and Jungkook had been trying to get a surrogate for years. Finally when you agree to help them, their dreams seem to be coming true. But, dreams change…

Vegas, Baby by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens when there’s a little more legality to it than that?

Taming the Beast by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

You were the next in line to be the head of your village, when your mother gave you to the enemy to save your people from merciless slaughter. What happens when they try to Tame a Beast?

Owner by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: JJK x reader

With your mother hounding on you (no pun intended), you decided to get a little help from a hybrid, who was also in need of assistance.

If Only You Knew by @agustdakasuga

Pairing: BTS x reader

From the start, you knew you wanted to be a hybrid rehabilitator. You needed to help these hybrids heal, learn to live with one another and lead normal lives. Even if they are all different, you hoped that they could give each other a new reason to live.

#monthly recap #bts fics #bts jungkook #bts jin #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts rm #bts namjoon #bts jimin #bts v #bts taehyung #bts fic recs #bts fanfic

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appreciatethefoolishness · 4 years

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BUNNY TROUBLE | 06

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

― pairing: jeongguk x reader

― genre: mostly fluff, softness, jungkook dancing lol, disgusting romance!! bunny!jeongguk, (kind of) hybrid!jeongguk, magical wishes, taehyung!best friend, tae being kinda a bitch, swearing, crack/humor lol i tried, more swearing, a tiny bit of subtle angst and SMUT; fat cock!jungkook, handjob, blowjob, subby!koo, whining, whimpers, dry humping, virgin!jungkook

― word count: 4k

― summery: a quick decision to save a hurt bunny on the side of the road might not seem like a big deal to many people. y/n doesn’t think much of it either and decides to take care of the little male rabbit but what she doesn’t expect is when he one night turns into a human and hell breaks loose…

― a/n: I made a playlist for this series!!

― OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

posted on: April 13, 2020 don’t post/copy my work without my permission ©

You could feel your phone falling out of your hand as Taehyung’s words echoed in your head. The sun rays hitting your face didn’t feel so warm anymore and it was almost like a cold stream washed over you as you sat there, frozen.

It really was like a wave with emotions hit you and as you looked over at the sweetest boy snoring beside you, you felt your heart break a little. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed, his long lashes hitting his soft skin as his chest heaved up and down. You wondered quietly how it will feel in a few weeks when your bed will be cold and empty without him...

Bird’s song outside the window made him stir in his sleep and yawn as he slowly opened his puffy eyes. As soon as he saw you a heartwarming smile broke out on his face and for a few seconds everything in the world was meaningless except this.

“Goo’ morning,” he mumbled, his hair a total mess around his head as he reached for you. He embraced your hips as he tried to drag you down with him. You shrieky laugh escaped your throat in surprise as you landed on his chest, he rubbed his nose against your cheek before kissing it. “Mhmm, my noona,” he mumbled while pecking your soft skin.

His raspy voice and lovey-dovey actions made you flush, "my googie," you mumbled back, "did you sleep well, sweetheart?"

He seemed to keen at the pet name and arch his back as you let your finger run through his silky locks. He hummed and buried his face between your shoulder and throat and before you could react he had already begun sucking on the sensitive area.

A soft gasp fell from your lips by the feeling of his mouth on your neck and his warm body pressed against yours. You hadn’t really had the time to think through what happened yesterday, everything from kissing Jeongguk to him fingering you in one of the bathrooms in the club. You almost thought you had ruined your relationship but by the way his lips moved against your skin you calmed down a bit

Eventually, he pulled away, his big hand cupping your cheek as he stared into your eyes. His were sparkling with warmness and something you couldn't pinpoint as he leaned in, his hot breath tickling your lips before he closed the remaining distance between the two of you. His kiss was nothing like your first, this time it was soft and slow almost like he didn’t want it to end. With your eyes closed you began moving your lips against his with just as much gentleness, feeling his heart against yours.

All your worries and thoughts about future heartbreaks disappeared with him. It was like magic, the way he just captured you and everything felt good again. His soft lips and steady hands as he let them roam down your back and hips, making you break out in a sheepish big smile. Jeongguk only mirrored you and soon your stuipd grins had broken the kiss as you just smiled at one other. A laugh escaping you.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, almost for himself, while brushing his long fingers through your hair. Petting your head as the stars in his eyes gleamed at you, “really, why are you so bewitching, noona?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, “Bewitching?” you repeated, a humorous grin playing on your new-kissed lips, “Where can you possibly have learned that word, guk?”

“Ehm, on a k-drama?” he said, the tips of his ears turning a shade darker.

You snorted softly before framing his face in your hands, cupping his rounded cheeks and following his lip line with the tip of your thumb, “But you’re wrong, cause’ there’s only one bewitching person in this room and it’s you Jeongguk. The most gorgeous man I’ve ever met.”

Silence emerged between you two and slowly Jeongguk’s blinding smile faded away. “Man?” he repeated your word in a whisper, “D-did you just call me a man?”

“Yeah, I did...” you said suddenly afraid you might have offended him but before you could apologize his whole face lit up and he turned you over making you laugh.

He giggled as he kissed you again, his hips planting themself between your legs letting you feel the very obvious morning boner he had working for himself. As he kept biting and sucking your lips you could almost swear his were made just for you. So sweet and soft and while you let your finger tracing the scar down his naked back he started grinding against you.

He moaned quietly as you locked your legs around his hips forcing his hard cock to get friction against your clothed core. His sweaty back muscles tensed under your hands and the warmness steaming off his most intimate part.

“Ah, please…” he whimpered and thrusted against you, his eagerness very apparent, “touch meee…”

His words went directly down to your cunt, making you clench around nothing and feel how your panties started to get damped. You kissed his neck, the place under his earlobe and he yelped as his dick twitched in excitement. Almost on command your fingers wandered down his chest to his crotch, palming the bulge over his pyjama pants feeling how thick and long he really was. Your eyes bulged out in surprise, you knew he was big but not this huge.

“Oh, what a big cock my baby boy has,” you purred right in his ear and he cried out in shock as you slipped your hand inside his boxers. Fingers wrapping around his girthy length as you pulled his underwear down, leaving his cock to stand proudly against his stomach showing off all the mouth-watering veins and precum leaking from the angry tip. “Pretty,” you whispered before and began stroking it up and down in a faster pace than what he was used to.

His whole body almost went slack at the intense pleasure from your hand but before he could crush you, you turned him around still with your fingers pinching the tip of his cock making him choke on air.

“I-it f-feels so go-ood,” he whined while pounding up in your cupped hand, his hefty balls jerking as he neared his end. “Ah, don’t stop!” he closed his eyes and spread his legs wider for you to use his cock however you’d like.

“Yeah, it feels just as good as when you were grinding against me in your sleep? Huh?” you sneered, tightening your grip around him causing a loud whine escaping his sinful lips. “Yeah, I know what a dirty boy you are, gukkie, I was awake.” And like the knowledge of you knowing what he did in his sleep made him even more desperate to cum now.

“I’m s-sorry, noona,” he cried as you jerked him off, the wet sound of your hand’s fast movements filling the room, “I-i couldn’t help it!”

“It’s okay, baby,” you cooed, tugging on his hair forcing his neck to be exposed, he gasped. And like you had expected was it full hickeys from the night before, gleaming with a thin layer of sweat. “Just be a good boy and cum when I let you,” you smirked and it was like you couldn’t control yourself from licking it all the way down to his abs, feeling the soft skin over the hard muscles. You kept sucking while bringing your tongue out to taste his salty skin until you face to face with his thick cock. You licked a fat strip from the base to the tip, cupping his tight balls in your other hand as you started sucking on the head, tasting the sweet taste of his precum.

“AHH!” he actually squealed as you sucked in your cheeks and began bobbing your head up and down his shaft. You knew this was his first blowjob but you couldn’t help yourself from being a little mean. Instead of letting him trust up in your throat you laid all your weight on his thick thighs so he couldn’t move. “I’m cumming noona…” he breathed, his face scrunched up in pleasing pain and you lifted your head up to smile.

“Then cum.”

He threw back his head against the pillow, a piercing cry leaving him as he let himself reach his orgasm. You kept stroking the rest of his leght you couldn’t fit in your mouth as the heavy shoots of cum began to fill you, and you were quick to swallow it all, milking him to the last drop. It was a lot, Jeongguk cum never seemed to stop painting the inside of your cheeks white but eventually it did.

Slowly, you removed your lips from his sensitive cock, his whimpers toning out while you wiped your mouth. “You okay?” you asked as you returned by his side, caressing his long bangs away from his eyes.

“Yeah,” he breathed, a small smile creeping on his lips while he unhurriedly opened his eyes. “Thank you.”

You giggled before kissing him again, taking his face between your hands and letting yourself feel the love he was radiating.

“Noona…” he eventually mumbled, his voice sounding a little uncertain, while pulling away, “W-what are we now?”

His chest was still heaving up and down from his climax and his face flushed with bashfulness.

“You mean like in our relationship?” you whispered, not breaking your intimate eye-contact. Jeongguk nodded, nervously biting his lip but you wouldn’t allow that, “It is whatever you want us to be,” you simply said and gave him another soft kiss making him smile. “You decide.”

At last you had taken Jeongguk to an amusement park and to say he was happy would not be enough to describe his excitement. It was the sound of Jeongguk’s joyful laughter that woke you up from your daze. Even though you tried not to think about it— Taehyung words from your fight or his text had been filling your mind the last few days. Even when you were with Jeongguk, you couldn't fully appreciate him as you didn’t know how many days left you had with him. So taking him to the carnival that he’s been talking about for weeks was just a little thing you could do.

Jeongguk had just finished one of the bigger rides of the park, his messy hair and his flushed cheeks making it obvious for anyone to figure out. And by the sight of his happy state, you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling.

“How was it?” you asked as you handed him his cotton candy.

You two had already ridden that roller coaster earlier but as the overexcited soul he was— he had wanted to go for another ride and then another until you told him to do it alone, otherwise you might actually had spilled your guts out.

“It was soo fun!” he grinned and sat down beside you on the bench, his nose crinkling so adorably as he took a bite of the sweetness off cloud in his hand. And his Bambi-eyes lit up at the sugar taste, “wow,” he whispered in awe.

You scoffed at his cuteness, it really was like taking a child to the festivals for the first time. Jeongguk’s liveliness made your heart ache, how could someone so pure and kind have to go back to being a bunny in the end of this month? Jeongguk kept chewing on his cotton candy and even offered you some but you gently denied, you had eaten it before.

“Oh, noona, can’t we also do that?!” he asked and pointed toward a couple that was taking cute selfies with each other. “Taking pictures, I mean?” he added as he saw them kissing each other making him ashamedly look away.

You snorted softly before taking your phone out. “Sure,” you laughed as he quickly wiped the sugar away from the corners of his mouth. As you raised your phone higher in the air to fit both of you in the frame Jeongguk leaned in and you started taking pictures. One was with you two just doing silly faces, another with you smiling and the last few with you kissing his cheek and him smiling shyly.

You smiled at the selfies of you and him on your phone.

The hour before the amusement park closed it supposed would be a performance there. You and Jeongguk had decided to not watch it as Jeongguk had noticed the subtle sadness that painted your face when he wasn’t looking. He was worried but before he could ask you why the loud bass of a song a few meters away from you two made you both stop in your tracks. Even though you were near the exit you looked over to the stage where a large group of boys were dancing to the song “Rainism” by Rain and Jeongguk apparently recognized it as well.

“Oh, I know this!” he exclaimed and before he knew it, you had dragged him toward the show.

Jeongguk had spend a lot of his time these months watching and practicing k-pop dances in front of your TV so when this opportunity came you wouldn’t let him miss it. Jeongguk started dancing and moving with the beat, surprisingly confident about the dance moves of the official dance. These type of performances were mostly famous for inviting random people up to dance with them so it wasn’t that shocking when Jeongguk was dragged up.

He obviously loved it, by judging of his smile and laugh as he just fitted perfectly in with the other professional dancers. At the end of the dance Jeongguk hurried to run to you, lifting you up in a hug so affected by his excitement.

“Noona, did you see that?!” he yelled over all the loud noises and spun you around.

“Of course, you were so good!” you blurted out and hugged him back.

“Hey, excuse me!” a guy, with silver colored hair, in your age said beside you. Jeongguk gently let you go and turned to the new guy. “You were amazing man, are you a dancer?”

Jeongguk, a little taken back that a stranger was taking to him, shook his head. “Eh, no I just do it for fun…”

“Well, damn,” the guy laughed, “I’m Park Jimin by the way,” he said and reached for a card in his pocket. “And I work for an agency that’s looking for new back up dancers, give us a call if you’re interested!”

You three talk a little more before parting, Jimin really being sure to praise Jeongguk for his sharp and precise moves before saying goodbye. On the train ride home Jeongguk couldn’t stop smiling and holding your hand, it was like the sun rays were shining on him even though it was dark.

“Thank you for taking me there,” he eventually mumbled, his nose rubbing lovingly against your temple before kissing it. “I really enjoyed today with you noona.”

“Yeah, me too.” You laughed. “That guy, Jimin, even recognizes your talent for dancing. How do you feel about that?”

“It was perfect.” He whispered and he was right. Too perfect.

“Wait, he invited you into his apartment?!” you gasped as Mina quickly hushed you with a finger against your lips.

“God, when you say it like that it makes it sound like something totally different!” she mumbled and closed the cap of the copier. Her blonde hair was tied in a loose bun on her head making the rosy blush on her cheeks, she always had when she thought about her neighbor, even more obvious, “He just felt bad that I was locked out of my apartment. Nothing happened, we just talked.”

“Uh-huh,” you smirked and wiggled your eyebrows, “Talked about what?”

“Well, if you must know, we chatted about our professions and apparently, he’s a doctor—,”

“Ohh, what kind of doctor?” you asked but before she could answer a loud cry made you both turn around.

A girl, one of your many co-workers you hadn’t had the time to get to know, ran the fastest she could in her heels down the long hallway. Not only was tears streaming down her face as she tightly held her blouse together but her hair and makeup were ruined.

You and Mina quickly exchanged looks, you clearly more surprised than what she was.

“What was—?”

Mina just sighed as she collected the newly copied documents for the next meeting. “Lee Howon-nim’s second secretary for the mouth,” she began explaining and you followed her suit as she started walking back toward the room where the meeting was gonna take place. “You know he’s that type of boss who hires young girls to use and then later fires them when he’s done with them.”

You furrowed your brows in disgust, not only was he an asshole but also a shameless pervert who abused his power for sexual pleasure in his workspace? You shuddered.

“And, God, I wonder if he also did that when he had a wife, wouldn’t surprise me,” Mina kept going as she handed you half of the stack of the papers to place out.

“How have you even managed to work for him for so long?” you asked and she just shrugged.

You two finished up getting the room ready but unexpectedly your phone rang. Normally, you would be surprised as not many people called you that often, only your parents or Taehyung, but as you had taught Jeongguk how to use your landline phone a few days ago you couldn’t help but smile as you saw the contact name.

“Hi, googie,” you greeted him with a little too sweet voice for Mina not to notice.

“Noona!” you heard on the other side of the line, “I miss you!”

“You just saw me this morning,” you laughed and bit your lip, clenching your thighs together as flashbacks from this morning filled your head. He whined at that, his tone revealing how much he hated when you teased him. “Plus, I told you not to call me until my lunch break.”

“I’m s-sorry, but my reason for calling is important!” he exclaimed, “You forgot your lunchbox at home!”

That had actually happened before but then you would go down to the mall and buy something but now when Jeongguk officially was okay with going outside in public places and you missed him— you had an idea.

“Oh, did I?” you mumbled and scratched the back of your head as a small smile was tugging on the corner of your mouth, “Then maybe you could come here and eat with me and bring my lunch with you?”

“Can I, really?” he asked and you could almost hear how much he was smiling into the phone. You hummed as a reply making him giggle excitingly, “Okay, noona! I’ll be there in about an hour, bye!”

You snorted, amused, as you hung up and put your phone away. Those butterflies in your stomach were back as you shyly brushed a strand of hair behind your ear trying real hard to get into working mode again. But the sound of Mina clearing her throat made you look up.

“Googie?” Mina repeated the sappy nickname, forcing your already flushed cheeks to grow even hotter, “What did he want?”

“He said that he’ll just bring my lunch box here, apparently I forgot it.”

Mina smiled, “You know, you and your boyfriend are really cute.”

“Thanks,” you said in a small voice, and this time you didn't have to feel bad about her words, Because this time it was kinda true.

Jeongguk was thrilled as he neared the building where you worked. He didn’t really have time the last time he was here to admire how wide the etrence was or how clean the big glass windows in the lobby were. But the one thing he remembered and still did; was that damn dog.

The same freaking dog that scared the living out of him the first day he turned human. The dog was sitting outside with a leash attached to a pillar, showing off the brand new spike collar around its neck. But surprisingly, Jeongguk didn’t run away when the wolflike creature sneered and growled at the people walking by. The dog now loudly barking, reminding him of pictures of excruciating pain in his back and blood, so much blood and cold, freezing cold- making him shiver. No, he shook his head, he wasn’t a small bunny anymore but a man.

With his head high, Jeongguk strolled past the aggressive dog and headed for the elevator with your lunch in his bag. He was smiling so big and when someone else also entered the elevator and met his eyes they probably thought he was crazy. Which was true. He was a maniac for you, only having fond memories of you and your beauty.

As the elevator door dinged he walked out, the warmness inside of him only expanded as he laid his eyes on your form. You were typing something on your computer, with that adorable scowl between your brows, as you focused on whatever task you were dealing with and like you were expecting him you looked up and found his gaze on you. Just as he was about to wave, a familiar stone faced man dressed in a suit walked past him making Jeongguk freeze up.

Even though it was just for a few seconds, Jeongguk had seen enough to recognize the guy’s face— he could point out that face in a dark room and still know who that was. Like a shower of cold water hit him, Jeongguk turned around on the spot, lips formed into a straight line as he stared at the back of the man’s head as he headed for the elevator.

Scenes of his worst nightmares flashed before his eyes, it was him as a rabbit— living a peaceful life but that man hurt the only one that gave Jeongguk food and eventually made that kind soul flee, leaving Jeongguk alone with that monster. He was the same man who let his beast to dog use a bunny as a toy and just laugh at it. The man who was now smirking as he talks with someone over the phone, his big nose and small crooked eyes the same as the day Jeongguk last saw him.

His last owner.

On the other side of the room, you had noticed Jeongguk’s obvious distraction and before you could reach him, he started running as the door to the elevators closed . Running toward the staircase and without any hesitation you dropped whatever you were doing and followed him.

“Jeongguk!” you yelled as you bolted down the many steps of the stairs. “Wait! Where you going?!”

But he didn’t answer because his focus was only directed on reaching the ground level where he knew the elevator with the man would stop. So he ran, his longer legs carrying him quicker down than yours as you tried to keep up.

Eventually, after a lot of rushing and sweat, you both reached the lobby— Jeongguk a few meters in front of you as he kept running to catch up with Lee Howon, all the way to the parking lot.

“Jeongguk, wait!” you called with your breath uneven, “What are you—,”

Jeongguk barely turned around, eyes black with termination as he still stared at the man who was not leaning against his expensive car, “That man. Who’s he?”

“Lee Howon-nim? He’s my boss, why—,” you began but he didn’t stay to hear the rest as he began running again. And you couldn’t do anything but watch while he grabbed your boss by the collar and smashed his clenched fist the hardest he could in Lee Howon’s face.

Oh, fuck, how would this end?

― taglist: @serendipity-secrets @beach-bitch-bitch-beach@badbyeyoongi @bookoffracturedescapes @jeonsbbgirl @asanjms@io-is-lame @rapmonster2000000 @minyoongi-infiresme@straypop @mrcleanheichou @yeontanie21 @xanny91 @irissilujm@vanghaeg @1796p @babelleerr @virgokosmos @mercy-thesinner@adelina1299 @babybluebisexual @miraisnotavailable @dabi-da-hottie @somewhereinthestarss @cherrycolaonherlips @multiviens @impradaandurnada @actor-ksj @beyondthewriting @taehyu-ung@taehyungvx @starrynightsandcandlelights @yeethee@ggsmashgg @larenelizabeth @canyounotkaia@wordsturnintostories @yeetaeyong @goldengguky @these-lives-are-ours @sippinpeachtea @shortpeoplemattertoo @rynite@theyoungestschuylersister @heartfeltscribblings @brandi-sykestw@yunyimyg @fantasyjoon @smut-wars @sopseokjin@oxymirror @xsmilebitesx @sylnyexne @bereavedswallow@eltrain80 @sockie-the-dumbass @zerah561 @mini-miez@wherearethepinappless @timestandstillalittle @ccmemoirs@doctorwhoolagin @newtsobrienss @jiminiessipabo@unicorntrooper @purplelady85 @kookiekinz @aduky @sno-leopards @talkfastang @diamondteardropsblog

@peterrogers15 @feel-the-sunset @atwistofme @fivesecondsofsarang @theawesomekungfupanda @princessbabybootie @dru-shadow @hoseokslefteyebrow @sleepyje0n @bella-victoria002 @brandi-sykestw @hytibm @suhappysuho @nyugalaxy @nameisnotok @bryvada @barbikatherine @samariakeeper @skylavsp @bangtanbabyboyz @cecereads @slinekyu @bishuthot @bewitch3dforivar @batrazmanchronicle @annoyinglyhopefulcarrot @abigailbustamante @talkfastang @sugieswaghat39 @grace1852 @pastle-devil-06 @lalachichu @hogwartschoolofheros @fandom-addiction-queen

im so sorry, the taglist is closed! and some usernames don’t get tagged for some reason, sorry about that! ;( (maybe your account is private and that’s why?)

#jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jeongguk smut #jeongguk fluff #jeongguk angst #jeongguk x reader #bunny!jungkook #hybrid!jungkook #jungkook rabbit #babyboy!jungkook #sub!jungkook #sub!jeongguk #BUNNY TROUBLE #smut jungkook #fluff jungkook #angst jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #taehyung angst

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baepop · 4 years

Text

J’aime

You’re the newest hire at a local café and head barista Jeon Jungkook takes you under his wing.

Word Count: 16.2k

Pairing: You x Jungkook

Genre: Slight Fluff, Smut, Angst

A/N: What’s next? maybe a Taehyung fic to quench my secret thirst?

Part 2 | Part 3

Working at J’aime Café had taught you a valuable lesson: Where there’s high risk, there’s high reward, and in the absence of said reward, there would be unbelievable loss too.

It all started when you finally got around to checking your voicemails one March afternoon and you realized the job you applied to months ago had finally reached out to you for an interview. Since you weren’t always the best at keeping track of these things, and noticing the voicemail was now a week old, you quickly paused your show and checked the time. Two o’ clock, still during business hours.

The phone rang twice before a courteous voice responded to your call. “J’aime Café, how can I help you?”

“Yes, hello! My name is Y/N and I applied for the barista position. The manager reached out to me for an interview last week. I was wondering if it was possible to come by sometime soon for an interview?” You held your breath and crossed your fingers, hoping they wouldn’t turn you away because you were so late on responding.

“Ahh, Y/N! Yes of course, can you come by this afternoon? If not, then we can do your interview maybe… Wednesday morning?”

“Today’s perfect! Thank you so much!” You couldn’t hide your excitement and gratitude but made a mental note to be more professional in person.

The manager chuckled at your glee and ended the phone call with a simple “See you soon.”

The café was only a 15-minute walk away, so you weren’t in a rush to get ready. You spent the next half hour or so trying to decide what to wear. Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. That’s what you’d always heard growing up, but if that was actually the case, you’d be walking over there dressed in a cop uniform. You sighed and placed your hands on your hips. What was that other piece of advice about job interviews? Oh yeah, dress as if you already work there so they can better picture you as an employee. Since the coffee shop was small, you had only ever seen three people working there total including the manager and they always had on jeans and knitted sweaters or some variation of that, so you ultimately decided to trade your pencil skirt for black jeans and your heels for boots. You kept your pretty pink blouse on though. Good first impressions are always important. If there was anything that worried you in these situations, it was being forgettable.

You checked your ponytail for any fly away hairs then headed off towards the café. As you walked past the park near your house, you rehearsed your replies to general interview questions. So why do you want to work here? I have plenty of experience in customer service and feel I could bring great things to the table as an employee here. Do you have experience handling money? Yes, yes, I do. I have worked with countless POS systems as well so I’m sure I can learn yours very quickly.

You were so busy interrogating yourself that you didn’t notice or thank the person holding the door open for you once you arrived at the coffee shop. You stood in the lobby, searching for the manager. When you realized you were accidentally standing in line, you rushed to get out of the way. You clutched your handbag with clammy hands as you observed your surroundings anxiously. It’s just an interview, most likely informal, given the setting. You got this. Don’t sweat it.

You’d never realized how busy it could get here, seeing the huge line of customers that had accumulated. When you looked behind the bar, you realized there was only one employee back there. You didn’t want to bother him inquiring about the manager, since they were already so busy, so you found a stool to sit on and wait patiently.

As you watched the cashier ring customers up, you were impressed by his cheery disposition and professionalism despite having so many drinks lined up and no barista. Thankfully for you and the cashier, only about 2 minutes had passed by before two employees came out of the back room. They seemed to be in a heated discussion, but upon closer look, it was more playful than anything. The one with earrings and hand tattoos was tying on his apron while smirking and nodding at the older one holding a clip board. In an incredible show of annoyance, the barista walked away mid conversation and began making all the drinks that were backed up, making sure to slam the doors and cups obnoxiously. However, he was able to do so many things at once that it was no time at all before he cleared the crowd of people waiting on their orders.

You were in such awe at the barista’s sheer talent that you almost forgot why you were there in the first place. It wasn’t until the man with the clip board stood in the way of your eyesight that you realized you had a mission. As you stared up at the stranger, you had to think for a second what it was that he had just asked you.

“Are you Y/N by any chance?”

“Oh uh, yeah! Hi, are you the manager?” You wiped your hand on your thigh and went in for a handshake.

“Yes, I am,” he shook your hand firmly, “Thank you for coming in so soon. As you can see, we really need some new employees around here!” The manager, whom you presumed to be Mr. Kim noted on his nametag, raised his voice towards the end of his sentence so that the barista could hear from behind the bar. Seeing the guy with tattoos chuckle at his boss’ cheeky behavior had a calming effect on you.

The interview went extremely well, so well that it only lasted 10 minutes before you got a job offer. You accepted it right away of course, considering there was only $3.79 in your bank account, so you showed up to the coffee shop first thing in the morning the very next day.

You were excited and confident yet nervous. You had worked plenty of jobs to put you at ease with customer interaction, but never at a coffee shop. You didn’t know the first thing about making specialty drinks or brewing coffee for that matter. You’d simply always been a tea person.

The manager asked you to come in once the café opened, so you were there just as the cashier was unlocking the front door. He held it open for you just as you entered and offered you a dazzling smile.

“Hey, you’re the new hire, right? My name’s Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi! You’re going to be shadowing me today.”

“Yes, hi,” you weren’t sure why you were blushing, maybe because he already knew who you were, “um where can I put my stuff?”

“Oh, we have cubbies in the back office. Just find an empty one then come meet me out here when you’re ready. Oh, and grab an apron and a hat while you’re back there.” You hurried to do exactly as he said, determined to do a good job on your first day. Everyone seemed so capable and diligent, you didn’t want to come off as a newbie at all.

You noticed the cubbies immediately as you stepped into the back. You put your sweater and satchel in one of the cubes next to one that housed a leather jacket and an iPhone. Since you saw another cube filled, you wondered if the handsome barista would be working today too. You forced yourself not to think about that for now, you didn’t want to be distracted on your first day. Once you found the extra aprons and hats, you headed to the front of the shop where customers had already begun ordering. You rushed to the cashier’s side to observe him as he took orders and wrung them into the touch screen accordingly. The same scenario played out from the day before: Customers began crowding the end of the bar, checking their watches impatiently and wondering where the hell their drinks were. You began getting nervous, hoping no one would complain to you. You had no idea what to say to them.

As if sensing your anxiety, Hobi finished wringing up the last customer in line before turning to you and saying, “Don’t worry, he always does this. Why? No idea, but Jungkook’ll be in any second now to make these. He has to anyway, because neither of us have been trained on making drinks!” Hobi laughed and patted you on the back before turning towards the crowd of people that had just walked in. You laughed along nervously, checking the door for the boy with the tattoos.

Thankfully, thirty seconds later, the infamous barista barged in through the door and b-lined it to the back to grab an apron. “Oh, shit! Here’s my phone! I thought I lost it! Thank god!” Jungkook yelled at no one in particular and you giggled at the theatrics that could be heard from the entire shop. On his way to the bar, he eyed you briefly but didn’t say anything, choosing instead to greet the regulars.

“Ahh, there he is! The resident rockstar is gracing us with his presence! We’re finally gonna get some coffee everyone!” An older man with grey hair and a hoarse voice bellowed out. Jungkook laughed and high fived him over the counter.

“Jerry! You old bastard, still haven’t croaked in your sleep, I see! Vanilla latte with three shots coming right up!” Jungkook began making everyone’s drinks with the same ease as you witnessed the day before. His banter with the older man seemed incredibly inappropriate, but clearly it was okay since his customer replied with booming laughter.

“Nope, not yet son! Still healthy as an ox.”

“Not if you keep having all this caffeine. But it’s not like I’d stop you. I’d miss your wise crackin’ around here.” Jungkook handed him his latte and the older gentleman took a sip.

“Don’t you worry about that, son, even if I did croak, I’d still come back and haunt your ass for making me some god-awful drinks!” Him and Jungkook laughed heartily at his jabs, even gaining chuckles from a few customers as well as from Hobi. “Alright, I’m heading out. See you kids tomorrow morning.” The older man waved at everyone including you and sauntered out of the door.

As you watched Jungkook make the rest of the drinks that were lined up, you noticed he interacted with each and every customer. None of them were as acquainted with him as Jerry was, but they remembered each other’s names at the very least.

You noticed the kind of morning regulars at the cafe were more of the same than anything else. Many of them dawned suits and work uniforms, most likely residents from the area stopping in on their way to work in the neighboring metropolis.

After 9 o’ clock, business severely died down. It was only then that Hobi was able to give you a tour of the café and answer questions you already had.

“Have you ever made coffee before?” Hobi inquired while slapping the top of the brewing machine.

“Uhh…to be honest, no I haven’t,” You noticed Jungkook ‘tsk’ with a side smirk as he wiped down the counter, no doubt listening in on Hobi training you, “I’m more of a tea kind of person.”

The older guy smiled, “That’s okay, it’s pretty easy to learn.” His patience with you made you happy.

“This,” he pointed to the pots with handles, “is where you put the grounded coffee into, then you press the ‘brew’ button, and the coffee begins dripping into these containers that keep the coffee hot. Some people don’t like the fancy shmancy drinks that hot shot over here serves and prefer regular cups of coffee. If you’re on the cash register, then it’ll be your responsibility to serve the regular coffee.” You nodded along with everything he was saying but couldn’t help your small smile at his jab to Jungkook. He moved you two further down and pointed to a contraption you’d never seen before. “This is for ‘pour-over’ coffees. Some people order special coffee blends that we don’t brew in the machine, so whenever that happens you just come over here and put the grounded up coffee in this cone, get some hot water, slowly pour it over the grinds and watch it drip into their cup. Just make sure you don’t forget about it or it’ll overflow.” Hobi mimed all the actions out as he explained the process. It was endearing. You tried your best to retain all the information. After explaining where to find the coffee filters and the cup sleeves from, he decided to give you a break from the information overload. “Here,” Hobi handed you a rag and a bottle of Windex, “why don’t you wipe down the windows outside and then come back and we’ll pick up where we left off.”

You gladly took the cleaning supplies from his hands and went out to the small tables that lined the front of the shop. The entire front was made of glass, so you could still see Hobi and Jungkook from where you were. As you sprayed down the windows, you noticed Jungkook leaning over the bar resting his cheek on his palm and shamelessly staring at you. You swallowed and tried to focus on the task, pretending you didn’t notice him even though the blush on your face told a different story. What’s his freaking deal? Given his demeanor with the employees here and the customers, you wondered if he would start picking on you too, or if he was just straight up flirting. Either way, you didn’t have time for either since you desperately needed to keep this job. When you entered the shop again, you noticed Hobi left to use the bathroom, so you took the chance to make polite conversation with Jungkook.

He had been watching you the entire time that you came in, but still you tried not to acknowledge it and look busy, which was hard because you didn’t know enough to pull that off. You fiddled with the coffee filters before clearing your throat to speak.

“So…your name’s Jungkook, right? How long have you been working here?” You looked over at him innocently. He was leaning on the counter propped up on one elbow with a smile playing at his lips.

After a second, he replied, “Couple months.”

“Oh…but you seem really good at what you do. Did you catch on quickly?”

“Not my first coffee shop, babe.” Your heart skipped a beat at the pet name. Jungkook was eyeing you, probably waiting for your next question, but you weren’t sure what to say. Yep, definitely shameless flirting.

“That’s because he got canned from his last gig for showing up late every day.” Hobi’s voice came from behind you and startled you, but you were grateful for it since you had the perfect exit to this charged moment between you and the bad boy barista.

Jungkook chuckled and responded, “What can I say, your mom just can’t get enough of me in the morning.” Hobi chucked an empty cup at Jungkook’s head but the younger boy ducked down slightly and dodged it.

With laughter in his voice, Hobi turned to you. “Come on, Y/N, let’s get you away from this terrible influence.” He stopped at an odd machine with a large hole at the top and a simple lever. “Okay, so now let’s go over how to grind up coffee beans…”

Their banter and the overall atmosphere was infectious, and it had you smiling from ear to ear for no particular reason.

With thirty minutes left to the end of your shift, the café got busy again. When you checked the time, you realized schools in the area had already let students out which would logically explain all the uniformed teenagers in line ordering drinks full of whipped cream and fruit. This time, Hobi let you stay back and fetch any coffee orders that had come in, but hardly any of them wanted regular coffee. During the few times that Hobi handed you empty cups to be filled, you’d hold the lever that allowed coffee to trickle into cups then glance over towards the end of the bar. The scene that unfolded before your eyes had you smiling as if enjoying a private joke. It seemed Jungkook was a hit amongst the local teenage girls. As he handed out fruity drink after fruity drink, they all giggled and thanked him personally. One even took her phone out innocently, but you could tell she was recording him, probably for her Snapchat.

The cafe filled up with students who were in no rush to go home, changing the sleepy ambience of the shop into a rowdy, hip one. Once Hobi wrung up the last person in line, he turned to the barista and said, “Don’t catch a case out here Jungkook. These girls have their hopes up.”

The three of you laughed in unison, but Jungkook looked over at you with a look of offense on his face. “Y/N! Don’t laugh at his jokes! And here I thought you were cool.”

You couldn’t help but giggle like one of the girls on the other side of the counter. “I guess you judged me too quickly, huh.” Hobi gave you a fist bump and chimed in about how you were his new favorite.

As you untied your apron in the backroom, you recapped the day in your head. You were overall satisfied with your first day at your new job. The job seemed easy enough to do, your coworkers were cool, and the customers were more bearable than at some of the other jobs you worked in the past. Sure, there were people here and there that seemed to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, intent on giving service workers a hard time for things out of their control, but other than that it was a great day. And it absolutely had nothing to do with the head barista flirting with you. Not a single thing.

A whole month had passed before you got your first action on the bar. You had been feeling nervous and hesitant about starting that part of your training, especially seeing the sheer volume of people that order drinks during rush times. You feared you’d only be in Jungkook’s way if you tried to help, so you settled for observing as much as you could. Hobi had been getting his feet wet in that area this past month, so when you learned enough of the register, he’d leave you alone and help Jungkook with backed up drink orders.

Jungkook had taken the time to train Hobi while it was slow, especially since the older boy had already learned everything he could about cashiering. You, on the other hand, were content with wringing up customers and cleaning up after them. However, on this one particular day, Hobi called out of work and Mr. Kim had stepped out to run some errands for the day, so it was just you and Jungkook working at the cafe. Jin had felt confident enough to leave the shop in yours and Jungkook’s hands, and although you were fully capable, you still wished he hadn’t left. If you were being honest with yourself, Jungkook made you nervous. Cute guys made you nervous, and the ones that were both cute and shameless made your hands clammy. He was always respectful with you though, and kept his distance when Hobi wasn’t around, which is why you still hadn’t established a close relationship with Jungkook like you had with Hobi. You knew the older guy’s last name, where he was studying at, what shows he was watching at the moment, what his favorite super villain was; but when it came to Jungkook, he was simply still a beautiful mystery.

After the morning rush, when the café emptied and there was nothing left for the two of you to busy yourselves with, you started to feel awkward again. You weren’t sure how to talk to someone like Jungkook, who was always so blunt and boisterous. You, on the other hand, were reserved and polite. You weren’t exactly shy, you just weren’t sure how to navigate a friendship with him, but you wanted to learn so that there wouldn’t be so much silence between you two. Not to mention, his shameless staring, which persisted just as it did from day one, confounded you. He never ever tried to make a move on you, almost as if he was waiting for you to say something to him. If you were being honest, the staring flustered you because it was coming from such an attractive confident person. You were definitely attracted to him too, but you’d never start anything romantic with a coworker. Those kinds of things always got too messy, especially with such a small staff.

As you wiped down the windows outside, your eyes automatically found Jungkook’s on the other side. You smirked and waved at him, acknowledging him for once. He flashed a crooked smile at you and nodded a ‘sup’ at you in return. You couldn’t get the stupid smirk off your face as you finished cleaning the windows, realizing you probably looked like a happy idiot from inside the shop. You thought about what to say to him when you’d have to go back inside, ultimately deciding on just coming out and asking him what his deal was. So, when you put away the cleaning materials and met Jungkook’s lingering eyes, you cleared your throat and asked the burning month-old question at the tip of your tongue.

“So…what’s with the staring?” You put your hand on your hip but then second guessed yourself and placed it on the counter. Jungkook watched your movements carefully and chuckled, observing your false bravado.

“Easy, you’re very beautiful.” Jungkook watched your eyes widen before continuing, “I can restrain myself though, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You smiled and looked at anywhere but at his face. “Ah…well, that answers that. I was just asking, thought maybe I had something on my face.”

Jungkook laughed, “No, nothing like that. Is that why you don’t really talk to me, because I make you uncomfortable?” Jungkook kept his gaze directly on your burning face which made you feel like you were on the hot seat.

“What do you mean? I totally talk to you.” You crossed your arms, giving up on willing your blushing cheeks to cool off.

“Psh, not like you do with Hobi. You guys are like best friends now. I’m third wheeling it over here.” Jungkook mirrored your arms crossed over your chest. You giggled and rolled your eyes, playing along to his false offense.

“Well, I don’t know… Hobi’s easy to talk to I guess.”

“And I’m not?” It was evident that Jungkook took pleasure in grilling you with that teasing smile playing at his lips, but you refused to backtrack now.

You took a minute to think before responding, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but not exactly. You’re really…how should I put this…out there. And I’m more of an…in there…kind of person.” After a beat, you both laughed at how much you weren’t making sense, you with embarrassment and him at how cute you seemed when you were flustered.

“Well maybe if you got to know me you wouldn’t be so shy.” Jungkook challenged you with a wicked glint in his eye and a sexy side smirk.

“Point taken. So, tell me about yourself then, Mr. Third Wheel.” Jungkook laughed at his new nickname.

“What do you want to know, babe?” You rolled your tongue around on the inside of your cheek and tried to think of a good question for him while ignoring the thrill that his pet name for you inflicted.

“Umm, okay, are you a student anywhere?”

This time it was Jungkook’s turn to roll his eyes at you. “BORING. Seriously, that’s what you want to know about me? Let me guess, your next question is about my favorite color.” His teasing flustered you further, proving your point about how hard it’d be to have a conversation with him.

“Okay fine! Have you ever killed anyone?” You looked Jungkook in the eye in an attempt to intimidate him.

“If I told you the truth then I’d have to kill you too, and I don’t really feel like doing that, so, pass.” You smirked at each other until it turned into a stare down, conceding after a while and rolling your eyes at him. Just then, you noticed a customer making their way to the register and just like that, your brief albeit silly conversation with Jungkook was effectively over for the time being.

Once you two were done wringing and serving the random group of people that interrupted your conversation, Jungkook immediately turned back to you and asked a follow up question. “So, what about you? Have you ever killed anyone?”

You smiled and responded, “Oh, tons! My favorite victims happen to be flirtatious coffee shop baristas. You know any?”

Jungkook’s laugh was disarming. The more you talked the more at ease you felt with him. He was definitely charming, which is probably why he got along with strangers so easily, and probably why he could get away with coming in late all the time. What he lacked in professionalism and punctuality he more than made up for in expertise and people skills.

Before you knew it, 3 o’clock rolled around and tons of school kids flooded the café. You were able to wring everyone in a timely manner, so there was nothing left to do but watch Jungkook make drinks. You felt bad at how slammed he seemed, so you asked if he needed any help, secretly hoping he’d say no.

Jungkook smiled down at the drinks he was making and responded, “Sure, if you’re feeling up for it!” Why don’t you come over here and top these bad boys with whipped cream then hand them out.”

You immediately grew nervous but rushed over to help. There was a different kind of pressure when it came to making drinks, you quickly realized. Not only did you have to worry about making everyone’s orders correctly, you had to do it quickly with no mistakes since all the customers would crowd the bar and watch your every move. Your hands slightly shook as you took hold of the whipped cream dispensers. The café made their own, so it wasn’t the cans of cool whip you were expecting.

Jungkook noticed your confusion and answered your thoughts. “All you have to do is shake it a bit, hold it upside down and swirl it on top of the ice so that it makes a nice cone shape. Go on.”

You did as he instructed, but when you squeezed the handle, the trapped air inside of the tin released into the cup and sent an ice cube sliding across the counter. Your face was blazing with embarrassment, but Jungkook didn’t seem to think it was embarrassing it at all. Instead, he offered you some more help.

“Here, do it like this.” Jungkook stood close behind you and took hold of your hand that held the contraption. He squeezed your hand so you could get an idea of how firm to hold it, tilting your hand completely upside down, and helped your finger pull the trigger. Slowly and smoothly, cream circled the top of the drink nicely. With his head almost resting on your shoulder and his mouth so close to your ear, his instructions sent shivers down your spine. “You have to turn it all the way and ease up on the trigger or else you’ll make a mess.” You nodded tightly, pretending to understand what he said only because your brain wouldn’t stop obsessing at the way his chest felt pressed up against your back and his hands on yours.

Your fingers shook while fitting a lid on the drink. When you finally handed it out to the customer, you caught a dirty look from the girl who it belonged to. You figured she was one of Jungkook’s many admirers. The thought had you alight with humor. As you continued to top the drinks and hand them out, you realized how easy it was to work with Jungkook. The hard part was trying to keep your cool.

“Look at you go! It’s almost as if you’re an actual barista!” You chuckled at Jungkook’s comment as you handed out the last drink.

“Oh, didn’t you hear? I’m your replacement.” Jungkook looked at you for a moment without saying anything.

“What?”

“Shy my ass. You’ve got a mouth on you. I like it.”

“I never said I was shy.”

“Touché.”

Just then, Jin came in through the front door.

“Thanks for holding down the fort you two. Y/N you can go, you did a great job today.” Jin rounded the corner of the stand and you handed him your apron.

“Same time tomorrow?” You looked at your manager who was busy checking the sales on the register.

“Yep, see you in the morning!” Jin answered you absentmindedly so you took that as your queue to go, but not before saying something to Jungkook.

“Do you think you can manage the bar without me?” You asked him cheekily as you removed your hat.

He smiled at you with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know how I’ll go on, but I think I might just barely make it.”

And just like that, you headed home with butterflies in your stomach for the first time in ages.

Three months into working at the café, a new horror movie came out, and since Hobi knew you were a horror fan, he invited you to come see it with himself and Jungkook.

“If we go tomorrow night, the tickets are half off for students. You in?” Hobi was busying himself counting the change in the drawer while you contemplated going out with them. They didn’t want to go until late, so you’d definitely lose out on sleep, which you weren’t a fan of, but you didn’t want to turn down your first invitation out from your coworkers. You knew Hobi and Jungkook regularly hung out together outside of work, and it made you feel a tad left out whenever they talked about things you weren’t a part of.

You also couldn’t lie and say you weren’t excited to hang out with Jungkook off the clock. Over the last two months, you two had taken any and all chances to flirt when left alone but you both knew how to behave yourselves while in the presence of Hobi and Mr.Kim. It sort of became like a game of who could make the other blush the most. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t enjoying Jungkook’s dirty looks, because what had started off as glances turned into full blown body checks, winks, lip biting and cheeky facial expressions. You also couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t take extra time in the mornings to get ready for work for this exact reason.

You knew it was probably a bad idea, what started developing between you and Jungkook over the last couple months. You wouldn’t accept responsibility for how it started, but you did acknowledge that your shameless entertaining his advances wasn’t innocent in the slightest. You knew this was a slippery slope to go down, but it made your harmless fling all the more exciting.

That’s why when you looked at Jungkook after Hobi’s invitation and caught his subtle wink at you, you accepted right away. You hadn’t been out in so long, especially not with the opposite gender.

You pondered what to wear when you weren’t busy tending to customers. If you tried too hard and dressed in the sexiest outfit you could find, you might seem desperate. You might also give Hobi the wrong idea. If you wore something casual that you might wear to the coffee shop, then it might be embarrassing if they show up dressed to the nine.

When the time finally came for your movie date with the boys, you settled on the best of both worlds. You let your hair down, which would be a nice change from the ponytails and buns you wore to work. You still kept your usual look of denim and a nice shirt, but you traded your comfy work shoes for heeled boots. Trying without trying. You decided against putting on a full face of makeup since you didn’t want your coworkers looking at you differently at work without it on. You called an uber once you were satisfied with your looks, feeling butterflies the entire way there. You weren’t just excited to see Jungkook either, your relationship with Hobi had evolved into genuine friendship outside of being coworkers, so you couldn’t wait to hang out with him either.

Once the car pulled into the movie theatre, you immediately noticed the boys waiting out front. They were dressed impeccably, and you instantly regretted changing outfits. Hobi was sporting sweats and a denim jacket with trendy sneakers and a beanie. The outfit was sporty but sexy at the same time, given it seemed he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath the jacket.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was wearing something akin to what you pictured he might look like after hours. He was wearing the leather jacket you noticed was always in his work cubby paired with ripped blue jeans, a bucket hat, combat boots, and a plaid button up tied around his waist. You almost didn’t want to get out of the car, but you knew you’d keep getting charged for the ride if you didn’t, so you exited with a sigh and waved to get their attention. They were in the middle of a conversation, but it was Hobi who saw you first. He smiled and did a silly dance to show how happy he was to see you and it made you crack up.

“Why did I agree to go out with you?” You teased Hobi.

“Because you have nothing better to do anyway.” You feigned pain at his words, no doubt a minor habit you had picked up from Jungkook. When you turned towards Jungkook, you instantly noticed how he wasn’t laughing along with you guys. Probably in one of those moods again.

It happened very rarely, because Jungkook was always a cheery person, but once in a while he wouldn’t be in the mood to socialize and those were the most boring days at work.

When all three of you headed inside, Jungkook went ahead of you two so you gave Hobi an inquisitive look while pointing at your grumpy third wheel to which he responded with a shrug. You sighed, a gloomy mood setting in at the thought of not having as much fun as you thought you would.

You offered to hold seats for everyone while they waited in line at the concession stand. You wanted to give Jungkook time to get over his bad mood, and you also wanted to avoid craning your neck from getting stuck with bad seats. You busied yourself on your phone in the meantime, but you weren’t scrolling for long before you felt someone take a seat next to you.

Jungkook sat down with a large popcorn and tossed a few pieces in his mouth, “Hey work wife, I missed you.”

You smiled and put your phone away. “Oh yeah? How much did you miss me exactly?

Jungkook took hold of your hand that was resting on the arm rest in between you two. “This much.” He laced your fingers together and wiggled his eyebrows. You couldn’t help but laugh, since it all felt elementary. It brought you back to your first date ever when holding hands, and any skin ship for that matter, was a huge deal.

You wriggled your hand out of his grasp, since you weren’t comfortable flirting around Hobi. You didn’t want your friend to feel like a third wheel at all. “Seriously though, you okay? You seemed kind of down earlier.”

Jungkook looked embarrassed at your worrying. He shifted in his seat and, could it be, a light blush forming on his cheeks? He smiled to himself, looking down at his thighs, “What, are you worrying about me now?”

This time it was your turn to look at Jungkook and wonder how he could be so cute while being flustered. “Of course I do, can’t have my work husband being sad.” You pinched his cheek and Jungkook smiled his most dazzling smile yet. He swatted your hand but held onto it for a while, caressing your palm and turning your hand over in his as if never having ever held a hand before, then letting go. It was a tender moment unlike your usual flirtation with aim at getting a rise out of the other. It was so sweet yet fleeting that you spent the rest of the two-hour movie thinking about it. Jungkook glanced over at you many times during the movie, but you refused to look at him, fearing he might catch on at exactly how much he was having an effect on you. It was starting to feel all too real, and you couldn’t be your usual cool and playful self if what was going on between the two of you was aactually real. You’d never thought of Jungkook as a boyfriend, although you did think of him under the covers late at night. You willed the sinful thoughts out of your head for the next two hours, so you didn’t seem weird later when it was time to say goodbye.

It wasn’t hard to put it out of your mind eventually, especially when you saw how much of a weenie Hobi was when it came to horror movies. You keeled over with laughter at the sight of his pale face while exiting the theatre. “Why did you want to see this movie if you were going to be so afraid?” You spoke in between laughs.

“Because! I don’t know! I didn’t think it was going to be that scary! Besides, I wanted you to come and I know it’s your favorite, so…”

“Awwwww, Hobi! I’d have come even if it was a Disney movie.” You pinched your friend’s cheek and his answering crescent eyes of happiness had you giggling. You looked over at Jungkook, and it seemed his bad mood had returned, so you continued only speaking to Hobi. “Seriously, thanks for the invite. It was fun! We should do it again.”

But now, all three of you had reached the outside of the theater and the night had brought a chill with it that had all of you hugging your torsos. You hurried to pull out your phone and order an uber home, but Jungkook had other ideas.

“Put that away, you’re coming with us.” You looked up at the boy who was barely looking at you in the eye.

“You sure? I live close to the shop, are you going in that direction?”

Jungkook took hold of your arm and started walking to his car impatiently. “Okay, okay!” You looked back at Hobi who was observing everything from the back. As if knowing exactly what your look meant, he answered with a shrug yet again that said I have no idea why he’s acting this way.

You called shotgun once you got to the car and Hobi playfully kicked the back wheel of Jungkook’s car in theatrical anger. Once the three of you pulled off in the direction of Hobi’s house, you got into light conversation about the scariest parts of the movie and the faulty plot. Jungkook didn’t say a single word the entire time. He stared straight ahead at the road and kept both hands on the wheel. You glanced at him periodically, looking for reactions that might tip you off for the cause of his change in mood, but nothing made sense. By the time you said your goodbyes to Hobi through the window, you had given up on talking to Jungkook and settled for looking at the small-town scenery passing you by.

However, the longer you sat in silence, the more annoyed you became at the situation. You couldn’t help feeling like you did something wrong and you wanted answers, so you lowered the music playing on the radio and fully turned towards Jungkook. He looked at you sideways then kept his focus on the road. When you didn’t say anything, he offered a simple, “Yes?”

“Did I do something? Why are you being weird again?”

“I’m being weird?” Although Jungkook kept his serious demeanor, you could hear a smile in his voice, so you pressed further.

“Yes! You seem grumpy and It feels personal.”

After a thoughtful minute, Jungkook released the steering wheel with his right hand and took hold of your left hand.

“Sorry.” Jungkook offered a simple apology in a voice so small you weren’t sure if you actually heard it. He didn’t look at you again for the rest of the ride, but you were content with the silence and holding his hand in the darkness of his car. You welcomed the way your heartbeat quickened at the romantic contact, preferring this over his cold demeanor from earlier anyday.

It dawned on you after a while that you hadn’t told Jungkook your actual address. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“Yes,” Jungkook looked over at you and smiled at your puzzled reaction. “Because I’m not taking you home, I hope you don’t mind.”

“…You’re kidnapping me?” You smiled at him, wondering what was going through his mind.

“Is that what you normally call dating?”

“Oh, so this is a date now?”

“Yeah, didn’t you get my rolled-up proposal sent through carrier pigeon?”

You giggled, feeling relieved that things were back to normal, and also excited at the turn of events. “What’s the plan then?”

After thinking for a moment, Jungkook simply replied, “I hope you like darts.”

He ended up taking you to a hole-in-the-wall bar in town. He explained that it was his absolute favorite place to go because of the ambience and the cheap beer prices. You were content for a few reasons. For one, not many people were here, so you didn’t have to worry about talking loudly. You also enjoyed places with good beers on draft, and this was one of those places. Lastly, Jungkook seemed to be at ease here, so it made hanging out, playing games and talking casually way more fun.

Although it felt just like any other day at the café with Jungkook, you were a little on edge now since your suspicions at the theatre seemed to be proving themselves true. Did Jungkook want to date you seriously? Or did he simply want to hang out a little extra? Since the flirtation had become so normal, you weren’t sure what to make of the situation. Neither of you were the mushy type, so you feared you wouldn’t really know what was going through his head unless you asked him directly, but you didn’t want to risk seeming clingy or making him feel weird. While playing pool, you decided where you would draw the line, for your own sanity. The smell of his body wash, the way his shirt clung to his chest, and the cocky look on his face after sinking balls on the table was making your head swim. You knew it was only a matter of time before the light touching, hugging, and hand holding evolved into something more intimate, so you resolved to not let things go further unless you outlined the parameters of your relationship with him in clear bold lines. You were the type of person to fall hard for someone you had a crush on, and you could already tell that Jungkook had the potential to devastate you. You needed to be careful.

Normally, you were so much better at pool, but you were so deep in your thoughts that you were missing every shot and not realizing it. Jungkook got down to his last ball before putting his stick down and making his way over to you. You watched him approach you, put his hands on your hips and lift you onto the table so you were seated and meeting him eye to eye. The gesture took you by surprise, and you weren’t sure how to react, so you held onto his arms and looked up at him questioningly. He settled his body in between your legs while his hands rested on your thighs.

“What’s up with you?” He looked into your eyes getting straight to the point.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re sucking right now. And you were talking big game earlier, which is something you don’t do unless you can walk the walk. So, what’s on your mind?”

“Here’s a little advice, if you’re taking a girl out on a date, you might not want to insult her pool skills.” You jutted your chin out at him in a petulant pout.

“Oh yeah? Or else what?”

“Or else you’ll probably never hear from her again.” You flicked his nose playfully.

“Well it’s a good thing I work with you then. There’s no avoiding me.”

Your smile faded. Although you were both joking and talking in hypotheticals, he was absolutely right. You were having fun, but you still weren’t sure if you wanted to risk starting something with a coworker that might end badly.

Jungkook noticed your change in demeanor and backed up a few inches. “Sorry, did that one hit too close to home?”

You laughed weekly while running your fingers through your hair nervously, “Yeah…”

Jungkook sighed and extended his hand to you so you could get down from the table. “It’s late and we have work tomorrow, let’s get you home.”

As Jungkook closed the tab out at the bar, you couldn’t help but feel like a total idiot. Here was this extremely sexy and extremely cool guy who was interested in you, and you shot any chance you might’ve had with him down due to fears of something that might never even occur anyway. You felt so stupid and mentally kicked yourself all the way back to the car.

When he didn’t take hold of your hand again during the car ride to your house, you began panicking, realizing your fling with Jungkook might’ve truly ended before even starting. That’s when you realized how whipped you were for him, and how much you’d rather take the risk with him than to have nothing with him at all. It took all your nerves and then some to try and turn the night around by the time you reached your house. You decided you’d kiss him if he consented, and if he wasn’t interested then you’d deal with it and hope the earth might swallow you whole.

Jungkook parked the car along your block and took the keys out of the ignition. Good sign. He turned to you and said nothing, the ball was in your court.

“So…thanks again for tonight. It was fun.“

“Yeah it was.”

When Jungkook didn’t offer anything else, you cleared your throat. “Um…sorry if I made you feel some type of way back there. I liked where things were going before I got all weird.”

Jungkook smirked and leaned his head back on his car seat, reveling in your struggle to convey something that was clearly embarrassing for you. “What do you mean where things were going?”

You blushed at the thought of saying the things that were actually running through your mind. “Yeah, you know, with you being so close to me.”

Without missing a beat, Jungkook placed his hand on your upper thigh and squeezed, looking at your eyes and then your lips. You looked at his veiny hands on you, then up at his face and decided to throw caution to the wind. You leaned into him and planted a soft kiss on his lips, to which he responded by knotting his hands in your hair and kissing you back deeply.

As your lips went to town on each other, you thanked the heavens above that the night wasn’t a lost cause after all. You relished in the kiss as long as you could and took in every detail as if it was your first kiss ever. His lips felt incredibly soft despite the passion he was putting into the make out session. He tasted like wheat beer and buttered popcorn, and you couldn’t get enough. It didn’t take long before your tongues were introduced into the equation. Even as the kiss ignited and the movements of your heads became more exaggerated, you still wanted more. It was almost as if you two had been holding back your lust for each other for so long and now the flood gates were open.

You reached for his head and took his bucket hat off, running your fingers through his slightly damp hair that smelled like Irish Spring. You tugged lightly on his strands, eliciting a groan from his unrelentless mouth on yours. You were both leaning towards the middle with your hands on each other, but it was a bit uncomfortable, so you took your seat belt off and climbed into his lap carefully. The moment excited him and took him by surprise at the same time. He disconnected your lips from each other briefly to look up at you and smile. You blushed, wondering if it was too much, but the negative thought left your head as fast as it entered when he held your head on both sides and brought you in for another kiss. You rested your hands on his chest and tugged on his shirt slightly.

Jungkook’s hands roamed your body with restraint. It was obvious he wanted to be a gentleman and not rush things, since his hands deliberately avoided your more intimate areas. You could tell he was hungry for more, so you appreciated his show of respect. As his hands rested on your waist, two of his fingers dipped under your top and dug in, creating dimples on your flesh. You’d have enjoyed that more if his hands weren’t so cold. You flinched at the contact, moaning into the kiss to show discomfort. His hands immediately retreated, but you two laughed at the comical moment.

You sighed and sat back on his lap, looping your hands around his neck. “I should get inside.”

Jungkook’s head fell back onto the seat with a thud, his hair bouncing along. “Yeah…I should get home too.”

You both sat in silence for a few seconds, neither of you wanting to move. After taking in his fucked out appearance, you grew satisfied with yourself and exited through the driver’s side. You closed the door, waved and then headed in. From your window, you watched Jungkook adjust his pants, start the car and drive off. The whole scene had you smiling to yourself, and you were floating on cloud nine until the moment you fell asleep.

You and Jungkook hadn’t been found out about until a month after your first kiss. You both still lived with your parents, so it was almost impossible to find alone time with each other that didn’t involve heavy petting in the backseat of his car. Needless to say, you were both extremely pent up, which is why when he invited you to come to the store extra early one day, you knew he was up to something.

“Jeon Jungkook? Coming in EARLY?! Something’s gone awry.” Jungkook rolled up his cleaning towel and whipped you with it for teasing him. You yelped at the stinging feeling on your bottom.

“Say you’ll come.”

“I don’t know Jungkook, what if Mr. Kim comes in early?”

“Don’t be so paranoid. Do you want to learn how to make fancy lattes or not?”

You rolled your eyes as you wiped down the counter, knowing he was full of it. “Fuck it, why not. What time exactly?”

“Hmmm…you need a lot of help, better make it 6:00am.” If it wasn’t for the fact that a customer had approached the register at that moment, you would’ve whipped him back for making fun of you.

Bright and early the next day, you and Jungkook met up at the front of the café as planned. Mr. Kim gave him a copy of the store keys for days where he would be too busy to open himself, and it seemed Jungkook was planning on making good use of it.

Normally you’d look like death coming into work this early but knowing who was waiting for you here in private put a spring in your step and a good mood that was unlike you in the morning. Jungkook was a morning person, so he was never afflicted with such issues.

As you watched Jungkook turn on the espresso machines and check the stock for all the necessary ingredients, it was only just now occurring to you that you’d have to make fancy drinks, which was intimidating because the shop’s regular customers were used to Jungkook’s expertise, flare and efficiency.

Jungkook lined up several cups along with clean pitchers and milk on the counter before turning to you with a quirked brow. “You ready?”

“Uh, yeah I guess,” you answered nervously.

Jungkook smiled warmly and patted your shoulder. With his other hand he tipped your chin forward and stared into the depths of your eyes. “You’ve got this. I believe in you, relax.” You melted just a tiny bit.

Turning your attention to the counter, he explained what the training consisted of. “Each of these cups is a different order. I’m going to show you step by step how to make each one, and then I’m going to time you on how fast you do them.” Lifting up one cup at a time, he explained, “These are the different ways someone can order an espresso drink here: a latte, a cappuccino, a flat white, a macchiato, and an americano.” Jungkook handed you an empty pitcher. “This is where you put milk for steaming. If you look inside, there are different measurement lines to fill the milk to depending on what size they order.”

You filled the pitcher with milk to the second line, nodding along. Suddenly, Jungkook stood behind and reached around you, holding your hand with the pitcher and taking hold of the other. He led your free hand over to the nozzle on the espresso machine and very carefully showed you how to steam the milk properly. You flinched at the piercing sound of the steam aerating the milk, causing Jungkook to chuckle softly behind you.

“Hey, don’t laugh at me, I’m new at this!” You pouted with false offense.

“Sorry sorry, you’re just so cute I can’t help it.” Your face beamed in the dim morning light streaming into the café. There was absolutely no denying that you were whipped for this man.

Jungkook led your free hand around the buttons on the machine, showing you how to queue espresso shots. You watched in wonderment as the thin streams of chalky brown liquid shot out and filled tiny shot glasses. The overpowering aroma of coffee quickly filled the air.

He had you prepare 3 pitchers of steamed milk, eventually letting go of you so you could do it on your own, much to your disappointment. “Let’s start with one of the easiest drinks to make, a latte. Pour the shot into the cup and the milk over top.” You did as he instructed, watching the milk turn light brown inside of the cup and eventually foam at the very top.

Jungkook inspected your drink then took a sip. “Not bad. Okay Ms. Fancy Pants, make me a macchiato this time.”

You hesitated with the shot in one hand and the milk in the other. You knew this particular drink was the reverse of a latte…or was it? You poured the hot milk into the cup and swirled the espresso over top. Looking at Jungkook for approval, you pursed your lips at his flat stare. He tsked, shook his head and leaned off the counter to get you a new cup.

“Macchiato means ‘through the middle’. Pour the shot directly through the center and don’t deviate.” You nodded wordlessly at his stern expression. As you remade the drink, you couldn’t find an explanation as to why you found him so sexy even when he was peeved.

“Okay, do you remember how to make the flat white?” You did, but you wanted him to touch you again, so you shook your head. Jungkook smiled and lead your hand holding the pitcher of milk to create the perfect flat white latte. You both held the pitcher close to the cup after pouring the espresso in first, then brought it up a few inches, then back down until a small while dot of milk formed at the center of the brown froth. Your hand felt electrically charged from the skin to skin contact, making it hard to focus on what you were doing.

“Now for the cappuccino, I’ll give you a few tries to get it right since it’s hard to nail down at first. Hold the steam above the milk for 9 seconds instead of 4 to create a lighter, foamier pitcher of milk.”

You followed his instructions and poured the shot along with the milk into the cup. Jungkook lifted the cup and instantly put it back down. “Not light enough. Again.”

Your eyebrows knotted in concentration as you began steaming a fresh cup of milk. You didn’t get the cappuccino down until the 5th pitcher of milk which slightly embarrassed you, but Jungkook was patient and tentative throughout the process. You felt gratitude at his willingness to train you so well.

“All that’s left is the americano, and that’s the easiest one of all. It’s simply shots and hot water to the top of the cup.”

“Psh, this is cake work.” You retorted cheekily, squeezing a lid onto the coffee cup and handing it to Jungkook for a taste.

“Oh yeah, hot shot?” Jungkook brought the cup to his mouth briefly and nodded in approval.

“Yeah! Where’s the real challenge? I want to make the cool drinks you do with the artwork at the top.” You decided to reward yourself with a little whipped cream for getting through the training smoothly.

Jungkook laughed heartily. “Ah, you’re a fan of my handiwork I see. Well unfortunately,” Jungkook grabbed you by the hips suddenly and sat you on top of the counter in between the espresso machines, ”That’s not something I can teach you in one day. It takes a lot of practice and patience.” Jungkook took your wrist in his hand and led your finger topped with whipped cream to his lips. Maintaining eye contact, he parted his mouth and sucked lightly on the tip of your finger, leading with his tongue. You inhaled sharply at the view; all things coffee related instantly fleeing your mind. You slid your finger out of his mouth slowly. He opened up as you ran your finger along his bottom lip. You’d never wanted a taste of whipped cream more in your life than you had at that very moment.

It seemed Jungkook was on the same page because it only took a split second before you two were all over each other. Your legs molded themselves around his midsection and your hands held his face to yours. Your heads moved together in rhythm while your lips ravaged each other. Tongue was immediately introduced, both of you having wanted to kiss each other again for so long. You couldn’t get enough, needing more and more every passing second. You wrapped your arms around his neck, smashing his body against yours as your tongues swirled together in harmonized motion. Jungkook’s hands greedily surveyed the lay of the land, first starting off on your thighs, then your mid back, and now the top of your ass. He squeezed and groped which only encouraged your need for him. You writhed against the kiss, rubbing your breasts against his chest. Jungkook pressed you into him then took you off the counter completely. You were vaguely aware of being transported as you bit and dragged out his lip. Jungkook let out a soft groan as he placed you on top of what you assumed to be Mr. Kim’s desk. Jungkook’s fingers ran up into your hair and tugged, forcing your head to the side and exposing your neck. He began trailing wet sloppy kisses down from your ear which had you shivering in excitement. You let out a low moan when he reached the base of your neck, letting him know it was a soft spot for you. You arched your back and pushed your chest in the air to which Jungkook responded by roughly groping your breasts through your button up shirt. You hissed through your teeth at the faint pleasure his movements brought you, but you still wanted more. You’d been eyeing him for months, and when you both finally took the next step, it felt like you were stuck there for far too long. If you were this addicted to his lips, there was no telling how addictive the rest of him could be, and you so badly wanted to find out.

Jungkook reattached his mouth to yours as his hands found the fleshy feel of your bra under your shirt. You moaned into his mouth, reveling in the miniscule pleasure it brought you. You reached your hands under Jungkook’s shirt, feeling his abs on the way down to his belt and pulled on it to bring him closer to you. You began unbuckling it impatiently, struggling to work the metal latch. It took Jungkook a second to respond, realizing things were moving along in full gear. He started unbuttoning your shirt with a quickness the likes of which you’d never seen before.

However, your shirt only made it just past your shoulders before you heard the familiar bell of the shop door opening. You and Jungkook froze as Hobi sauntered into the backroom. He was fully engrossed in his phone with his airpods in, but the quick movements of you and Jungkook getting redressed attracted his attention. His face morphed from surprise to sheer horror as he realized what was going on in Mr. Kim’s office in the early hours of the morning. Hobi yelped dramatically and threw his hands over his eyes, fleeing out of the office and out of the shop altogether.

Jungkook found his reaction amusing as he tucked his shirt into his pants. You, on the other hand, were so mortified and embarrassed that you couldn’t move. Your face was tomato red and you were paralyzed in horror.

Jungkook continued chuckling as he redid the buttons of your shirt. “I guess the training took longer than we thought, huh?”

You lowered your face into your hands. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Poor Hobi! He probably thinks we were in here fucking!”

“I mean…things were kind of heading in that direction…” You began beating Jungkook on the chest with your limp balled up fists which only made him laugh harder.

You didn’t feel shame about being sexually active, or being attracted to Jungkook, but rather being seen in a negative light for getting it on in an inappropriate place. Who knows what was going through Hobi’s mind at that moment? You had to do damage control, and quickly.

You hopped off the desk and exited the back room, immediately spotting your work buddy squatting on the other side of the glass. You approached him with caution, your face still blushing furiously. Hobi looked up at you with a straight face but busted out into laughter, at which point you began beating him too. You could hear Jungkook laughing harder at the spectacle going on outside, which only made your embarrassment find permanent footing.

For the rest of the day, Hobi would hand you cups with a smirk on his face and exchange meaningful glances with Jungkook here and there, reigniting your embarassment every time. You hated them so much for the rest of that entire week.

At the end of the workday on a Friday, weeks after your hookup with Jungkook in the office, you noticed a folded-up note placed on top of your belongings. You quirked your eyebrow at it then looked back out to the floor, but none of the boys were even looking in your direction. You opened it up and read Jungkook’s scrawl: Let’s chill at my house this weekend. My parents are away 😉.

Your heart instantly began beating furiously in your chest, and you quickly stuffed the receipt paper into your back pocket. You blushed as you gathered your things. The store was busy, so you weren’t able to say goodbye to Jungkook or Hobi as you exited the shop.

You contemplated what to text Jungkook when you got home. Of course, you wanted to go, but you were nervous about the entire thing. You were again reminded about how your fling was never supposed to get this far, despite your carelessness in the early morning all those weeks ago. After Hobi had caught you two in Mr.Kim’s office that day, you slowly began pulling away from Jungkook. It was so easy to get caught up in his cologne and the way his eye contact made you feel, so you needed to reign in your emotions and get a clear head before you rushed into something you couldn’t backtrack from. If you took that next step with him, there would be serious repercussions, and it seemed as though you two were headed in that direction, so you needed time to adjust. You were never able to muster up the courage to be frank with him about everything you’re feeling, so you felt as though you had no footing when it came to your relationship with him. Because of that, you weren’t sure if this meant you two would be officially dating or not, and you felt way too awkward to bring it up at this point, especially if this was all just fun and games in his head.

Your after-work routine had become second nature to you by now. As soon as your bedroom door closed behind you, the events went exactly as follows: Run the bath water as hot as possible, strip your work clothes into the laundry bin, light the vanilla candle that barely had any wax left in it, loosen the bun on your head, slowly and carefully submerge yourself in the steaming water without splashing any out of the tub.

As you laid on the porcelain, you closed your eyes and rested your head back onto the edge, contemplating Jungkook’s note. You wondered if Jungkook really hadn’t noticed you ignoring his advances this entire time. Maybe you weren’t being obvious enough? You sighed heavily and sank deeper into the tub, because that meant you would have to go over and explain why you couldn’t hook up with him despite having the perfect opportunity to do so, and you were not looking forward to that.

You remembered that Jungkook was off tomorrow, but you weren’t, and you were thankful for that. He might back you into a corner, and you needed to find the resolve somewhere inside of yourself to turn down this amazing boy. You texted him back a simple sentence: What’s your address?

Your morning Saturday shift went by way too quickly, not giving you enough time to settle your nerves. You tried to focus on work, but every once in a while, your mind would drift to what was to happen later that night. It didn’t help that there were barely any customers to keep you busy, so you were in your head the entire time. You’d never worked a Saturday before, so you didn’t know what to expect. Normally Jungkook would work Saturdays on his own. You idly wondered why today was any different.

Thankfully, Mr. Kim had opened the store with you and had tasks lined up to keep you at least a little busy. You quickly surmised that Saturdays at the coffee shop were dedicated to deep cleaning.

As you soaked the coffee pots in cleaning fluid and scrubbed the calcium buildup from the steaming nozzles, you practiced what you would say to Jungkook when he’d try to make a move. I don’t think we should keep doing this. No…that’s too serious, I don’t want to make things awkward. Listen, this is fun and all, and I appreciate you inviting me over, but I’ve given it some thought since our last hookup and I don’t want to have sex with you!

You blushed and chuckled at yourself for getting worked up at imaginary scenarios. It all felt quite silly considering you were putty in his hands anyway. Would you even have the resolve to refuse him? You knew a big part of you didn’t want to, but you knew if you didn’t then someone would end up getting hurt and you knew that person would most likely be you. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had to quit this super convenient job because of relationship drama. You shook your head at the thought.

As soon as your shift at the café was done, Jungkook pulled up in his car out front and beeped the horn to get your attention. He didn’t tell you he’d be picking you up, so you were caught by surprise. It also warmed you a little that he went out of his way to get you when you could’ve easily driven to him. You smiled and waved at him as you approached the car. He leaned across and pushed the door open for you.

You had planned to go home and doll yourself up a little, but this scenario was probably for the best, although you couldn’t help the relief you felt at having decided to shave the night before. You beat back the unhelpful cheeky thoughts.

“Hey you.” Jungkook took off towards his house, whistling an upbeat tune.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were picking me up, thanks!” You buckled your seat belt and sat back, but then realized this scenario was not for the best, since you wouldn’t be able to drive yourself home if things got awkward at his house. You clenched and unclenched your hands in nervousness, but Jungkook grabbed it and brought it to his mouth, gently brushing his lips on your knuckles then holding onto it for the rest of the ride. The sweet gesture calmed your nerves.

Only 15 minutes had passed by before Jungkook was pulling into a driveway that lead to the back of a big beautiful house. As you exited the car, you could already hear loud barking coming from the back door. Jungkook headed inside first, holding an overly excited golden retriever back so you could enter. The dog barked excitedly then calmed down enough to sniff your shoes. His tail wagged with an intensity that you swore was creating a draft. You extended your hand uncertainty and the dog licked it eagerly.

You giggled as you petted the animal, “I didn’t know you had a dog!”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Jungkook smiled and leaned on one of the counters in his kitchen as he watched you squat to rub the dog’s neck.

“Touché.” You took a break to look around. The back door had led into a giant kitchen adorned with stainless steal appliances. You whistled at how beautiful and grand it all was. “Nice house!”

“Thanks, my parents work hard.” Jungkook busied himself on the stove. It seemed he had prepared something for you two to eat. Your stomach rumbled at the smell of peppers and onions sizzling on a pan.

“Ah, so you don’t take after them I see.”

Jungkook chuckled at your jab, “Keep talking like that and you won’t get any of this delicious food I slaved over!”

“Oh, you slaved over this meal!? I gotta see what it is then” You giggled as you uncovered each pot sitting on the stove. Your mouth watered at the assortment of noodles, meats and vegetables that smelled amazingly. “I will say, I’m impressed. I guess making drinks isn’t your only forte.”

“Oh babe, you have no idea.” Jungkook smiled cheekily, enjoying his not so private joke as he grabbed two ceramic plates from the overhead cabinet. You swallowed thickly.

Jungkook served you a hearty plate and then did the same for himself. You waited for him to finish, unsure of where to sit and eat. He led you past a dining room, down a hallway and into a big living room with large sectionals that faced a mounted television on the wall. An episode of an anime played on the screen as Jungkook plopped himself on the far end of the couch and began digging in. You were happy at how normal this all felt, almost as if you had been coming here to hang out with him for years.

You took a seat on the couch an arm’s length away from him and began eating as you focused on the show. It was an episode of One Piece that you had already seen, but it still engrossed you enough to forget about being all alone with your crush.

After a while, you looked over at Jungkook who had been observing you for who knows how long.

“What?”

“You inhale your food, you know that?” He beamed his signature crooked smile at you, and you were too caught up in it to retort.

Instead, you rolled your eyes and took his empty plate and yours to the kitchen to wash, yelling over your shoulder, “I like to eat, OK?! Sue me!”

You didn’t hear Jungkook’s footsteps following you as you washed the plates in the sink. His arms snaked around your midsection and his chin rested on your shoulder which startled you enough to drop the plate you were scrubbing. Thankfully it didn’t break, so you kept doing the dishes as you willed your heart to stop drumming in your ears.

“Thanks, but you don’t have to do all that. You’re my guest.” Jungkook spoke softly next to your ear as he watched you rinse his plate.

“I don’t mind, you cooked after all. It was delicious by the way.” Your voice was small in the quiet of the kitchen.

After a while, Jungkook brought his hand up to your chest and rested it there. “Why are you so nervous? Your heart is beating really fast.”

You blushed and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. Jungkook gently turned you around as soon as you put the plate on the dish rack. You looked up at him, but his eyes were focused on your mouth. He leaned into you, but instead of kissing you, he brushed his nose against the tip of yours.

“You have nothing to be nervous about. I just wanted to hang out with you. There’s no pressure here, OK?” You nodded at him, unable to meet his eyes but instead wishing he had kissed you. “Want a tour?” Jungkook smiled widely and it was infectious because you found yourself grinning back at him while nodding.

The curly haired brunette took you through each room of his spacious house. He led you around the first floor, explaining which family member was in each framed picture that lined the walls. You giggled at a cute picture of him as a baby hung just past the bathroom and you could swear Jungkook blushed just a little at your reaction. Once you had seen everything on the first floor, the boy took you by the hand and led you up the stairs. The second floor had 3 bedrooms in it and another bathroom. Taped up cardboard boxes lined the walls to which Jungkook apologized for. You rolled your eyes at him because his house was impeccable. If he thinks this is messy, I’m never taking him to my house.

The last room Jungkook showed you was his own. He waited at the entrance of it as you bounded past him and into the room. It heavily contrasted the other rooms you had seen since it was smaller in size and had dark blue painted walls instead of the usual ivory. Sports trophies and metals sat perched atop floating shelves along with manga books and video games. You took your time going through everything as he watched you carefully from afar. Once you reached his desk, you noticed his high-tech gaming setup complete with a back-support chair. You plopped on it and spun around. Reaching out to touch a button on the keyboard, it made a loud click noise. Mechanical keyboard.

You looked back at Jungkook. His expression was wary, having no idea what was going through your head as you studied the most personal things about him.

“Mechanical keyboard hooked up to a Corsair desktop with liquid coolant? Jungkook, you’re such a nerd!!” He let out the breath he was holding and laughed as he came in to sit on his bed.

“I won’t deny it.” Jungkook watched as you surfed his computer, checking what games he had downloaded. This setup cost a couple thousand dollars easily, so you took the opportunity to play a game of Overwatch while you could. Jungkook tisked after every time you died, but it was hard to focus on the game when he was sitting 2 feet away from you on a bed. You wondered if he was going to make a move on you or not. What if he doesn’t? You contemplated having the conversation with him anyway.

“Okay, get up. You just put my gamer tag to shame. I have to show you how a true master does it.” You giggled as he replaced you on the chair and instantly queued up for another game. You sat cross legged on the bed watching him play for a while. He was really good, you couldn’t deny it, but as your eyes took in the rest of his room, an alien feeling came over you. You gazed at the polaroids of a younger Jungkook smiling amongst his friends hanging along a large mirror, at his worn-out baseball glove that sat on top of his dresser, at the mess of clothes at the corner of the room that looked like he had changed outfits 6 times. Your heart was full in that moment, and you realized just how much you really liked Jungkook. You were so happy to be there with him, so content in his presence even as he was engrossed in his game. No, you more than liked him. And you knew this for months, but you didn’t want to admit it to yourself until now. You smiled down at your lap, realizing you were never going to have that conversation with him after all, there was no way you could part ways with someone that made you feel the way that he did, risk or no risk.

Suddenly overcome with emotion, you looked back at Jungkook who was hunched over the screen, furiously clicking away at the keys on the keyboard. In one swift motion, you pulled your shirt over your head and threw it on the floor. You took your hair out of the bun it had been in and let your strands fall over your shoulders. Jungkook looked over his shoulder at you briefly but did a double-take, realizing you were suddenly sitting on his bed with no shirt on. His mouth fell open in shock, but he didn’t miss a beat, instantly standing up to turn off his desktop and joining you on the bed. He placed a knee on the mattress next to you and leaned over you, attaching his lips to yours. You leaned back until you were laying on the bed with Jungkook on top of you. He held his weight on his elbows, careful not to be overbearing, but you didn’t care about that. You wanted to feel him on you, so you wrapped your legs around his waist and brought him to you. His arms rested on either side of your head as his lips worked gently and tentatively on your mouth. Your arms were wrapped around his neck, but after a while your hands began roaming and exploring. Your fingers took turns entwining themselves in his shiny brown locks, then caressing his face as you made out. Eventually, they reached for the bottom of his shirt, but he was already ahead of you as he kneeled briefly to take it off then reattached himself to your lips right after.

Your fingers began kneading the muscles on his shoulders and his arms, feeling how taught they were. Your fingertips lightly slid down his chest and onto the flat expanse of his stomach. You felt his abs twitch as he smiled into the kiss, “Sorry, your hands are cold.”

You giggled an I’m sorry as he took hold of both of your hands in his and held them above your head on the bed, pinning you down. You wanted to keep touching him, so you writhed against his hold on you, pushing your chest into his. You could feel Jungkook’s boner where it lay stiffly on your thigh just past your sex. You circled your hips trying to get it to hit the spot that needed attention. Jungkook understood what you were after and began bucking his hips sensually into yours. You moaned into the kiss, feeling his clothed shaft press harshly against the apex of your thighs. Jungkook lifted his face away from yours, dragging your bottom lip out as he did. He held both of your hands with his right, freeing his left to begin groping your breasts. His hands worked their magic over the lacey fabric of your bra, your nipples hardening just under the material. When he didn’t unhook your bra, you sat up and did it yourself. You realized he was probably letting you take the wheel after what he had said in the kitchen, so you decided to do just that. You got up on your knees and pushed Jungkook onto the bed, mounting him and putting your hands on his chest.

A wild glint shown in his eyes, to which you smiled and bit your lip, returning to his face to continue making out. You began circling your hips, grinding your clit against his boner and earning some groans from the boy. You sat up so you could watch his face as you continued grinding on him. His hands came up to your hips and held onto them roughly with his head thrown back in pleasure.

Your hands found the rim of his pants and began tugging. Jungkook lifted his hips so you could pull them down. You slid his pants to his ankles and he kicked them off. Your mouth watered as you stared down at the view beneath you. Jungkook’s chest heaved as he regained his breath from making out nonstop. His tan abs dipped below the waistband of his black boxer briefs that stretched tautly over his muscular thighs. Jungkook sat up on his elbows, looking up at you expectantly. You looked back at him and maintained eye contact as you slowly slid your jeans off of your body. Jungkook bit his lip as he watched you undressed for him. His dick twitched in his boxers, begging for attention. You quickly obliged, squeezing his boner with your hand over his boxers. He hissed and laid back down, draping his arm over his eyes. You wondered if he was shy when it came to sex, and the thought had your heart bursting at the seams.

You leaned down and licked a stripe over his clothed shaft, earning a gasp from the boy. You drenched the fabric in your saliva as you stared intently at Jungkook who had sat back up to look at you in surprise. You curled your fingers over the waistband and watched him for approval. He lifted his hips with permission as you slid the material off of him. His boner sprang free, leaking and angry. You licked your lips, gently taking hold of it. You swept your hair to the side and tucked a few loose strands behind your ear as you leaned in to get close to his penis. You gave it a few lazy strokes as you gently kissed the tip. Again, you watched for his reaction, and he assured you he wanted this just as much as you did when he bucked his hips at your mouth’s proximity to his member. You smiled at how excited he seemed, licking another strip up his shaft and leaving a wet streak from bottom to top. Jungkook hissed again, wearing his bottom lip out with his teeth. Once your tongue reached the top, you took his head into your mouth, curling your lips over your teeth and letting it rest on your circling tongue. Inch by inch, you took him into you keeping your mouth tight around him. Jungkook gaped as your nose furrowed itself in his pubic hair. You came up slowly, sucked the top a bit then went down again. Jungkook laid back down, enveloped in absolute pleasure. His hands found themselves in your hair, eventually holding your head in place so he could buck into you. As Jungkook fucked your mouth, you couldn’t help the drool that spilled from your lips and dripped down his member, further lubricating him and creating sloppy wet sounds each time he entered and exited your mouth. Jungkook’s expression became focused and borderline angry with his eyebrows knit together in pure pleasure and concentration. You noted how deliciously vocal he was with his consistent moaning and groaning filling the air. You could feel yourself getting increasingly wet at the view and the sounds before you.

After a while, Jungkook slowed and then took himself out of your mouth. His penis was dripping wet and even more red than it was before. You wiped your mouth with your thumb as he stroked himself lazily. Jungkook tore his eyes away from you briefly to rummage through his nightstand for a condom. You busied yourself with getting rid of your underwear. Feeling your sex yearning for attention as he struggled to find a condom, you mounted his midsection again and sat directly on top of his penis. Slowly, you began moving your hips back and forth. You slid easily along his shaft with the lubrication of your spit that hadn’t dried yet. You moaned lightly, feeling some pleasure from your movements. Jungkook stilled as he felt your pussy getting so close to enveloping him. He held your hip with one hand and clutched the condom in the other. His eyebrows knit together as he hesitated before leading your hips back and forth once more. Your moans and his groans filled the room in unison. Your wetness coated his dick, further exciting him.

“Fuck Y/N. You’re such a bad influence.” Jungkook’s voice shook and you smiled, realizing how fucked out he was, but you were too, maybe even more. Jungkook watched you excitedly as you took hold of the base of his penis and line him up with your entrance. He tossed the condom to the side and helped guide his penis into you. You both moaned loudly as he slipped inside of you easily. You quivered at the feeling of being so full. When you tried to move, Jungkook held you in place and you realized he was trying not to bust right then and there. You smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, deciding to give him a break so he could calm down. You kissed him passionately as he cupped your face between his large veiny hands. After a while, his hands traveled down to your ass and squeezed them hard. You responded by tightening around him. He began easing himself in and out of you, holding your cheeks apart so he could eventually slam into you repeatedly. You moaned loudly into his mouth at the sudden pleasure that overtook you. Jungkook moved his head back to disconnect your lips and watch your face as you moaned. You sat up and began bouncing on his dick wildly. Jungkook moved his hands to your breasts when he noticed them bouncing with each rough hip thrust. You steadied yourself by placing your hands on his lower stomach and threw your head back in sheer pleasure.

You took the opportunity of Jungkook eventually taking a break to begin circling your hips with him inside. Surely enough, the head of his penis found your g spot and you began moaning carelessly again. He watched as you got yourself off on top of him, reveling in the view of you letting your inhibitions go. Jungkook watched you intently you got closer and closer to reaching your high. Your hips quickened in pace then suddenly stopped as your toes curled and your walls pulsed around him. You keeled over on top of him, feeling every inch of your skin breaking out in goosebumps. You laid your head in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily. Jungkook moved your hair out of the way then kissed your forehead. You chuckled out of breath before speaking, “Fuck, Jungkook.”

Swiftly and effortlessly, Jungkook flipped you so that he was now on top. Jungkook decided to give you a break as he focused his attention on your breasts. He pinched and pulled on your nipples, sending tiny shocks down to your sensitive core each time. He brought his tongue to one and began licking and sucking, then did the same to the other. You scratched his head idly, appreciating the way he took his time with you.

Jungkook began kissing upwards on your chest, all the way up to your mouth and kissed you intimately. The kiss was deep and slow, without tongue this time, and it took your breath away. You had to hold back a moan at how sweet the kiss was. You never wanted it to end, but when his hand traveled down towards your sex, you knew you were ready for more. Jungkook sat back and slapped your clit with his dick before easing himself inside of you once more. You were still slick from your orgasm and it had Jungkook closing his eyes in pleasure. You shivered and pulled Jungkook back onto you again to feel his warmth on you. Slowly yet steadily, he began moving in and out of you as he laid on top of you. His arms caged your head in as he began kissing you sweetly again. This time you did moan, and it seemed to egg Jungkook on, but he didn’t want to ruin the romanticism in that moment, so he continued his slow place and focused on your mouth. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and began circling around yours sloppily. You opened your mouth fully, willing to take anything and everything. It all felt so good and so surreal, you could feel yourself getting impossibly wetter, and you knew he could too with the way he began growling.

“Fuck, Y/N” You could only moan your answer as you both instantly felt the need to fuck hard. Jungkook lifted himself up just enough as he sped up and begin pounding into you roughly, holding your hips in place as he did. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he fucked the living soul out of you. Eventually, he sat back and held your legs wide open as his dick entered and exited you relentlessly. Your moans grew so loud, you were sure it could be heard from outside, but you didn’t care. You wanted him to keep fucking you forever, but your body had other plans. It didn’t take long for the familiar blooming in your lower stomach to begin making your toes curl again and your back arch. With his hair clinging to the sweat on his forehead and a look of concentration, Jungkook looked into your eyes while you stared back at him with your mouth agape. “You gonna come for me again?” Jungkook’s words were tight and stern which only made you moan more.

“Fuck, yes, yes, I-I am. Fuuuuck Jungkook!” Your second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks. You stared up at the ceiling as the familiar warm feeling spread to your extremities.

“That’s it baby, c’mon.” Jungkook fucked you through your orgasm as your walls spasmed around him. As you lay on the bed exhausted and reeling, he quickly pulled out of you and pumped himself a few times, spurting cum all over your stomach. Jungkook groaned loudly as the ropes of hot white liquid shot out of him. You were too spent to look, instead feeling the burning sensation of each drop landing on your moist skin.

As he milked the last of his cum out of his dick, you looked at your stomach covered in white and laughed breathlessly. “Jesus Jungkook, empty your balls once in a while.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’ve been busy.” Jungkook laughed breathlessly along with you, running his fingers through his sweaty hair. He got up from the bed and returned with baby wipes. You cleaned yourself up and tossed the soiled wipes in a nearby trashcan.

Making space for him on the bed, Jungkook laid down next to you. Neither of you said anything for a while, choosing instead to look up at the ceiling as your breathing evened out. You began breaking out in goosebumps at the feeling of being naked without a blanket over you. As if on cue, Jungkook pulled the covers up over the both of you. You turned to the side in contentment. Jungkook spooned you and wrapped his arm around you, making it easy for the both of you to drift to sleep.

In the middle of the night, you woke him up for another round, but this time it was him who was giving you oral, and just as with all else, he was extremely generous.

Monday came and went without any sign of Jungkook at work. When you showed up on Tuesday morning and he was absent again, you pouted, wondering what was going on. After the morning rush, you decided to mention it to Hobi at the risk of sounding clingy.

You watched your friend wipe down the counters before clearing your throat. “It’s not like Jungkook to miss two days of work in a row. I wonder if he’s okay…”

Hobi stilled his hand on the rag and looked at you in confusion.

“…What?” You quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was starting to look so surprised. It seemed like he was trying to find the right words with which to respond. “Spit it out Hobi! You’re worrying me.” You couldn’t help the bad feeling that fell over you as you watched Hoseok fully turn to you with a worried expression on his face.

“Y/N…didn’t Jungkook tell you?”

“…Tell me what? Ugh Hobi just say it!” You bit your lip anxiously. Hoseok rubbed his neck, mimicking your anxiety.

“Y/N…Jungkook’s last day was Friday. He moved to Connecticut with his family this past Sunday…” You stared at your friend in disbelief, waiting for the punchline that never came.

You chuckled nervously. “Hobi…what are you talking about? I was just with him and-“ The memory of all the boxes around his house flashed in your mind and made the rest of your sentence die in your throat.

Hobi looked at you with pity in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I know you two were close. I figured you already knew. I wonder why he didn’t say anything…” When you didn’t offer him a response, he resumed cleaning the counters and gave you a much needed moment to process everything.

You sagged against the register and stared into the backroom at Jungkook’s deserted cubby, unable to believe the sudden news. Why wouldn’t he say goodbye? Your first instinct was to feel betrayed and used. You opened yourself up to him and took the risk of falling, and he wasn’t going to be there to catch you after all. But you knew you couldn’t blame him entirely, since the ball had been in your court the entire time.

After a couple minutes of silence, a group of customers walked in, so you tore yourself away from the backroom and focused on them, willing your tears not to fall, and they didn’t, at least not until you got into the bathtub later that day. Turns out, you had been Jungkook’s replacement.

#bts fanfiction #bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan smut #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #bts smut #coffeehouse au #j'aime #jaime #j'aime fanfic #jaime fanfic #baepop j'aime

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sweetchup · 3 years

Text

A Helping Hand 3: Feverish

Type: Shalnark x reader

Au?: Savior Au

Word Count: 4,000+

Warnings: Hospital, Cursing, Sexual innuendos, Angst, Slight lemon, and Shalnark being a Shark.

Author Note: Here’s the 3rd part to the helping hand series. I decided to do a shorter one this time but make it a slower build up and much more drama. Do you guys think I should perhaps do some Christmas or New Years special for this one?

<—(Pt.2) / (Pt.4)—>

Helping Hand Masterlist

“Wait, (Y/n) is coming back soon?” Shalnark says, repeating what Clara had just said. He quickly stops his typing to look at Lara and Clara checking to see if they were messing with him or not. It had been almost 2 weeks since (y/n) had taken a paid leave after the incident with Jeremiah. She had stopped by a bunch of times during the first week to check up on Shalnark but had soon stopped visiting when Clara and Lara reassured her that they would personally take care of Shalnark in her absence.

“She sure is! I just got a call from her saying she’ll be coming back in a week, though it is a night shift so you won’t see her until later in the day.” Lara says, nudging him and wiggling her eyebrows. Clara looks at the two before going back to her task while shaking her head, knowing what was about to happen next.

A thick hostile bloodlust fills the room as Shalnark smiles over to Clara. Though it was anything but friendly.

“H-hey I was just joking Shal-l. Come on we are buds, aren’t we?” Lara chokes out, moving away from the man.

“I don’t believe I stated that.”

“Ahh come on—“ A giggle cuts Lara off. Confused, she turns to stare at the new woman who had entered the room. With furrowed eyebrows, Lara looked at Clara who only returned the same confused face back. Who was this woman? It was obvious she was a nurse, but her uniform was that of someone who was located in the NICU. She had no business being in this room.

“Umm who are you?” Clara asks, looking between Shalnark and the woman. Shalnark only shrugs in response, seeming to also not know who she is.

“Oh, how rude of me. I’m Moxxi, I just came in to check up on our little patient here.” She responds cheerfully but her full attention seemed to be on Shalnark not the other two. Strutting past Lara, she leans over and puts a hand on his forehead. Ever so slightly, the three watch as she purposely sticks out her cleavage towards Shalnark. “I’m just going to check you for your temperature, okay?”

The other two glare at Moxxi, highly annoyed, but Shalnark just continues smiling, afterall, many years of practice wouldn’t cause him to break in a time like this. Though, in his head, he was thinking about how she might actually be the most shameless woman he had ever seen.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to stop you there.” Clara speaks up, fixing her glasses in slight annoyance as she does so.

“What do you mean? I’m a nurse. I doubt you two cafeteria workers are fit for a job…,” Moxxi mockingly looks the two up and down before continuing, “...such as this one.”

Both flinch and glare at her more but before they can even have a chance to rebut Shalnark cuts them off. “These two are friends of mine and have been taking care of me for a couple of weeks. So far, I think they have been doing a great job at taking care of me.”

Moxxi attempts to cut Shalnark off but he just continues on, “Though on the other hand, it is quite unnerving for you to attempt to take care of me when your shirt clearly says you are part of the NICU. I think you should run along and go back to your actual job, someone might actually need you.”

A silence falls upon the room as Shalnark looks at Moxxi in the eyes, challenging her to disagree with what he was saying. The three of them thought she would have begun to run out of the room like the other nurses but for some reason, her laughter suddenly fills the room.

“You're cute. I’ll come visit you some other time.” With one last touch on Shalnark’s shoulder, Moxxi finally leaves the room. Though as she leaves, it was clear to everyone in the room that her actions had caught Shalnark off guard as he freezes in his spot.

Once the door of the room finally shuts, Lara finally voices her anger.

“WHAT IN THE BULL-HORNED ARSE WAS THAT?! LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHO DID THE PLASTIC—“

As Lara continues to voice her anger, shalnark finally comes to and grits his teeth while also dropping his smile. He was correct, she might be the most pathetic woman he had ever met. If only he had his cell phone and antenna on him. He would actually for the first time ever enjoy breaking a toy like her.

Taking a large inhale and exhale in an attempt to calm himself down, he returns his attention back to his computer to continue coding. Perhaps he could threaten the nurse who does the afternoon shift into giving him his phone back.

—.—.—.—.—

Lightly, you blow on the spoon holding the hot sauce like liquid. Once the liquid seemed cooled enough you tasted it before shaking your head. It definitely needed more salt. Adding a pinch of salt, you stir the pot one more time. Attempting to take another taste, you are suddenly cut off by the sudden ringing noise of your phone.

Placing the spoon down you check who was calling. How unusual, it was an unknown caller. Quickly peering a glance at the time, it seemed to still not make sense. Clara, Lara and Mal should still be making their way home from work, so you don’t know who would be calling at this hour.

Answering your cell, you put the phone up to your ear while going back to stir the pot. “Hello?”

“Hi (y/n)! It’s Shal!”

“Shal?!” How did he get his phone back? Wait, how did he even get your number? Actually, why were you even asking that. It was pretty obvious he probably got his cellphone back through threatening or just by stealing it. He also probably just easily hacked into the Hospital’s database to get your number. “How are you?”

“Actually I’m doing pretty well. I’m just cooking some dinner for me right now. Nothing exciting.”

“Oh really?” Shalnark smiles to himself. Leaning against his bed, he stares out the window into the lit up city. He still can’t get over the fact your voice always sounds just so pleasant to him. “What are you having?”

“Just some pasta with tomato sauce? Nothing really special.” You say laughing a bit at the end. With the euphoric sound of your laughter hitting his ears, Shalnark feels his face heat up in embarrassment and he ends up tucking his face into his knees to hopefully calm the fluttering beat of his heart. Even with you being miles away, you still somehow have this effect on him.

“Oh really? I bet it will taste amazing.”

Out of your control, you feel your face heat up at Shalnark’s compliment and you bite your lip to hold back the feeling of wanting to scream, “I guess so. It’s a new recipe but I don’t think I did it right.”

“Oh well. Don’t worry about it, it will at least taste better than having the cafeteria food I had for dinner.” Shalnark can’t help but giggle as you let out a surprised gasp.

“Shal. You know Clara and Lara would kick your butt if they heard you say such a thing!”

“I know. I’m only messing with you.”

A silence fills the air between you two. However, it’s not awkward at all. It’s surprisingly actually rather pleasant.

“Hey Shal?” Shalnark humms to let you know he was listening. “I-I—“

You pause at what you were going to say. Your face a deep crimson as you press your forehead against the cold countertop. You can’t tell him how you feel. Not like this. Lifting you head up, you look determined out the window. You were going to tell him in person as soon as you came back. You were positive about it.

“H-how was your day?”

“It was okay.”

“Just okay?” You repeat. Usually Shalnark would go into a tangent about what sort of item he coded today or diss some sort of video game that didn’t suit his taste.

“Yeah. It was kind of a boring day but… do you happen to know of a nurse named Moxxi? She works in the…”

“NICU?” You say finishing his sentence as you dish out a plate of food for yourself. Taking a bite, you let out a small sigh. You were correct from before, you added too much olive oil to the sauce. Oh well, better luck next time

“You know of her?”

“Yeah. I don’t personally know her but I’ve heard of her. She’s well known in the hospital for…” You massage the back of your neck as you think. How should you exactly approach this topic, you wonder. “Sleeping around with her patient’s… partners..”

“Really?!”

“Yeah… she’s not well liked with management per say especially now that she has switched to other patients from other sectors and even other doctors. But it’s hard to deny she’s good at her job so they don’t want to fire her.”

“Oh I see.”

“Yeah… she hasn’t tried to approach you has she?”

“She did today. Though, Clara and Lara were with me as well.”

“Okay.” You let out a loud sigh. Of course this had to be happening while you were out on leave.

“You okay, (y/n)?”

“Y-yeah. Of course. Just try to stay away from her, she might try something.”

“Well yeah. I don’t want to be getting like 4 STDs.”

“Shal!” You yell laughing with him.

—.—.—.—.—

“(Y/n).”

That was the last time you talked to Shalnark, almost a week ago and finally you were back at the hospital, working. You had been given the occasional update by Lara and Clara but both had been very busy with their jobs recently. So they couldn’t be there every time Moxxi tried to go to Shalnark but they believe they caught most of it.

“(Y/n)”

You really wanted to go check up Shalnark to see if what that nurse had been up to. But you were just so busy right now, practically slammed with cases. God, this was just so extremely frustrating to you. What if he actually decided to flirt back? Just the thought of him flashing his smile at some other girl or leaning over her to explain some sort of game. It just made your heart ache so much. Maybe you should have actually confessed your feelings over the phone.

“(Y/n)!” You flinch at the loud voice, turning around frantically to see it was Mal who had called you.

“Sorry Mal. I was just reviewing this case and I got—“

“(Y/n)...” Mal says cutting you off and grabbing the piece of paper from your hand. “That patient was dispatched to another sector almost an hour ago.”

“A-ah. Sorry. I-I—“

“I swear…” The elderly lady says, shaking her head. “Are you worried about the male patient of yours again?”

“Umm I—“ You attempt to lie but the look Mal gives you shuts downs the thought of doing that. In defeat and embarrassment, you avoid your eyes from hers and nervously rub the back of your neck.

“Go.”

“Huh?”

“Most of the patients have been taken care of and we have more than enough staff available tonight. Why don’t you go and check up on him?”

“Y-you sure?”

“Why yes. It is one of your general tasks isn’t it?” She says slipping a key card into your hand.

“A key card? Mal, what’s this for?”

“Oh yeah I guess they haven’t told you. They place keycards onto the entrance doors of the long term room that activate at night. Apparently a certain nurse has been slipping in and out of the rooms at night. They are trying to counter it.”

Your stomach drops and you give a small nod in affirmation. Could Shal and Moxxi be? Giving a curt bow to excuse yourself, you walk throughout the hallways to get to his room. Though the more you thought about it the more impatient you got and before you knew it, you were practically sprinting to get to his room. Even something as simple as waiting to take the elevator seemed to take too long. So instead you ran up all 5 flights of stairs.

Winded, you decide to just jog the rest of the way to get to his room. Though as soon as you reach the door, you pause. With your heart hammering, you were unsure of what to do next and unsure of what could possibly be on the other side. Were you ready to come face to face with something that could practically crush you? Deciding to not knock you just swing the door open and—

You breathe out a sigh of relief. There was no Moxxi in the room. Only Shalnark. Just sleeping ever so peacefully. Even if you still didn’t know if something happened between them while you weren’t here, it at least calmed the aching in your heart to see that she wasn’t in the room alone with him.

Carefully as to not wake him up, you take a seat on his bedside. Observing him and the room around you, you check his clipboard to see how he had been doing without you.

According to the other nurse, he had been cooperative with doing his daily PT and other sessions. He also hasn’t been missing out on any meals nor needed any new meds. So far, everything seems to be good and not out of the ordinary. Though as soon as you thought that your eyes caught something written in the bottom corner in red.

“Patient has been experiencing vivid nightmares and usually unable to sleep…”

But... Shalnark seems to be doing okay for tonight. Hesitantly, you reach over and place a hand on his forehead.

“Holy!” You shoot up in surprise. His temperature was extremely hot. Finally examining more of him you see that his skin was also flushed, covered in a slight sweat shine and his breathing was labored. Why hadn’t anyone seen this? He should have had vitals and blood tests today.

Checking the clipboard again, you are shocked to see that his vitals and blood test were perfectly fine. What was exactly going on? A virus like this needs time to build up. They should have been able to—

You pause your tangent. Could it be? Activating your Gyo, you gasp slightly as you see a foreign aura flowing throughout his body and in his aura.

A transmitter. But how did they exactly transmit their aura into him…

Looking around the room, your eyes catch the strange aura covering his food and water. You knew Clara and Lara couldn’t have possibly done this as they had the day off. Checking the clock you realize that dinner was served only 20 minutes ago, meaning the perpetrator was probably still in the building.

Sprinting across the room, you dial the security office number.

“Hello Paul speaking.”

“Paul!”

“Doctor (y/n)! Hello dear I—“

“Sorry but no time for that. I have a patient who may have been poisoned through his food by a Nen user.” While still on the landline phone you make your way over to Shal and draw a cool cloth to attempt to slowly cool down his temperature.

“What?!”

“Yeah I know it’s hard to believe but I need you to check the camera’s and catch that person immediately. Bring Gano with you, his ability will come in handy to question them. I need to find out what they exactly did to him so I can get it out of his system.”

“I’ll find them right away and will call you back.”

As soon as Paul hangs up the phone you prep all the possible medications and necessities you could need to help Shal. You also, in a last resort, got a private doctor who specialized in Nen exorcism on ready to be called down. While changing Shalnark’s washcloth you got a call back from Paul.

“Hello? Paul?”

“(Y/n)! We are on the way to catch them. It’s a nurse named Moxxi from NICU.” You curse under your breath. Of course it was her. “We found out that she can change her aura into different substances animals make. She drugged her aura into the Hallucigen properties of the Bufo toad. It also seemed she had just left the patient's room to use the restroom near NICU when you had come up. She—“

“Hallucigen? Are you sure?” Quickly you race to the shelf and grab the dictionary of side effects of different animals. Why was he having a fever if it was only an hallucigen.

“Yes. Hey! Stop her! I have to go, she's running away. Don’t worry about anything Miss (y/n). Gano took a quick look online and saw that the toad wasn’t deadly or poisonous.” Before you can ask anything more he hangs up. You knit your brows in confusion as you flip throughout the pages. If it’s not poisonous or deadly then why would she use it?

“(Y-y/n)...” A voice croaks out. Whipping your head around, you see Shalnark was awake and attempting to get up.

“Sit down,” With the book still in your hand you make your way to him, “Shal you need to lay back down—“

Suddenly, you're caught off guard as Shalnark pulls you towards him. This was just getting even more strange by the minute. Normally, Drugged individuals should be feeling quite weak now and not want to move.

“Shal! You—“ Your eyes widen in surprise as he suddenly grabs the back of your head. Your heart practically bursts as he captures your lips in a feverish kiss. Desperately, while he kissed you, his hands mingled up and down your body. Attempting to grab and explore at any possible skin he could reach.

Releasing your lips with a small moan, he moves his lips to explore up and down the available area of your neck.

“Shal!” You moan out as he bites at a certain area of his neck. Groaning back in satisfaction at your willing response, he pulls the rest of your body on top of him.

You let out a small stuttery gasp as his hands massage at your hips.

“Shal. Shal. St-Stop it’s the—“ Another gasp falls from your lips as his hand teasingly drops a little below the waistband of your pants. There was no doubt in your mind now. Moxxi attempted to drug Shalnark with an aphrodisiac. A substance that can increase someone’s sexual desire, sexual pleasure, or sexual behavior.

You were glad that it wasn’t anything bad and all he needed to do was get the substance out of his system. But, by just waiting and allowing time to pass could easily solve this problem as well. You weren’t about to take advantage of his drugged up like-state.

Clumsily, you run your fingers through his hair and push his face from out of your neck.

“S-Shal. Look at me.” Your breath hitches as you can finally get a clear look at his blown out eyes. He was clearly out of it. “Shal. Let’s stop, you don’t want to do this. It’s the—“

“N-no. (Y/n) please” Shalnark pleads, grabbing your hand to stop you as you attempt to get off his lap. He quickly pulls you back to give you a soft kiss on your lips but you quickly away. “I want this. Please. God, I’ve missed you so much. You don’t know how much I’ve waited for this. I-I-...”

He pauses for a second before looking you in the eyes, “I love you (y/n). Like I’ve never loved before.”

A tingling feeling sparks throughout your body as you hear him tell you that. You wanted to give in so bad but you knew you shouldn’t.

“S-Shalnark, let’s stop for now.” You say, finally managing to get off his lap. Taking a deep sigh to calm yourself down, you begin to fix your clothes up. After finishing making yourself look presentable, and to hide the hickeys he had made, you look back over to Shalnark who is giving you a sad look.

Letting out a small sigh, you lean over and give him a small loving kiss. Pulling away, slightly panting, you rest your forehead against his. “Just because I stopped doesn’t mean I don’t like you idiot. It’s just you’re in a very drugged up state. I want to do this when you are sober and willing.”

Shalnark lets out a small sigh but nods his head, “o-okay.”

“Here. I’ll grab you some sleeping pills so you can hopefully sleep it off. I’ll also give you something to lower your temperature.” You explain, grabbing some different pills and a new cup of water. Handing it to him, he takes it while you sit down on the edge of the bed.

Suddenly, as soon as he is finished taking the pills, he leans in to give you a small kiss on the lips.

“I love you” Shalnark says, slightly slurring his words. He flashes you his cheeky smile before giving you another small kiss and laying down.

You smile down on him as well as you respond back, “I love you too.”

You pet your fingers through his hair until he slowly lulls himself off to sleep. Once you see he is passed out, you check your phone to see if there are any updates from Paul. Seeing that you had missed one call, you carefully get up from the bed to call him back.

“Hey Paul? Yeah, everything is fine here. How was—“

—.—.—.—.—

“WHERE’S THAT BITCH?!” Mal flinches at the yelling, almost dropping her morning coffee. “Miss Clara please do not yell in my department especially in the morning while others are sleeping.”

“I’m sorry Mal but I just can’t believe that bitch Moxxi tried to—“

“I’ve already been made aware of the details. Moxxi has already been taken into police custody and (y/n) and Shalnark are perfectly fine.”

“Are you sure? Where is (y/n) I need to talk to her—“

“Lara calm down.” Lara spins around to the voice to see her best friend, Clara, behind her. Surprised to see her friend already here, Lara grabs her by the shoulders and moves her away from most people to privately talk to her. “Clara, did you hear what happened?”

“Of course I did.”

“Then, why are you so calm? Mate, Moxxi drugged Shal with an sex drug! And (y/n) was left alone with him. Like, holy shit! They probably slept together. Our ship possibly has sailed and, Hell, (Y/n) might be having a baby on the way! Like—“

Clara shushes Lara to calm her down. “Lara. Calm down. They didn’t have sex and (y/n) isn’t pregnant.”

“Well, something must have happened?!”

“Well, Yeah, there were romantic things.“

“See. Then— (Y/n)!” Lara cuts herself off once she sees (Y/n) round the corner. Lara is about to run to her friend when she sees (Y/n) practically collapse into her office chair and place her head down on the counter. Confused, Lara slowly inches her way to her friend.

“(Y/n)? Are you—“ “Please someone get me a cup of water.” You mumble to no one in particular. Picking the cup up, Clara hands it to you. Lara watches in wide eyes as you pour the whole thing over your head.

“(Y/n)?” “How could I forget something like that!” You shout looking up at the three. Finally now that your head is lifted up, Lara can see your face is a burning bright red.

Confused, Lara turns to Clara while you whine Mal’s ear off.

“Okay, what the fuck happened?”

Clara sighs as she shakes her head, “Aphrodisiac drugs cause increased sexual desire, sexual pleasure, or sexual behavior. However, most Side effects include Dizziness, Nausea, and…

…Memory loss of all to most events while under the influence.”

Bonus:

Shalnark looks at the door, very confused about why you had suddenly got up and left. Was it something he said? No, that can’t be it. All he had asked was when you had gotten back and what happened last night. He wondered what had happened.

Could it be?

A blush finds its way on the blonde man’s face. He hoped he hadn’t said anything weird while sleeping last night. Especially with that dream he had.

After all, that dream almost felt too real. He actually thinks he can almost taste your cherry flavored lip balm on his lips.

But, that can’t be correct. It was only a dream… right?

People who have been waiting: @meromelodi , @quartetstarheaven , @yumezai , @lvndrhwis , @writtenappreciation , @jojo-sinner

#shalnark #phantom troupe #shalnark x reader #x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh

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raindancer2004 · 3 years

Text

Aro’s Choice

Word Count: 2,606 Demetri x reader Part Two. Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Aro chooses a mate for Demetri; someone that will link his coven to Carlisle’s, a gifted human like none he’s met before. But Demetri isn’t happy, he didn’t choose her, doesn’t want her so he does the only thing he can think of, he pushes her away despite agreeing to a compromise proposed by Y/N. So what happens when an event occurs that changes everything for Demetri and Y/N? Will he go and rescue her...save her? Or will he stay in the castle and wait for his mate as he has done the last 1000 years? Will he realise that the one he’s been waiting for was the very one he had rejected and pushed away? Is it too late, will she ever forgive him? Will she give him a chance to love and protect her or will she walk away from him for forever...?

Jane knocks on Demetri’s door and finds Y/N in the room alone “Good morning Y/N Aro would like to speak with you and introduce you to Demetri” Jane says with a small smile “Good morning Jane” She replies and follows Jane down to the throne room. Alec finds Demetri and Felix in Felix’s room “Morning you two, Aro wants to see you both in the throne room” Alec greets them “How come you are not in your room Demetri?” Alec asks along the way “Considering we have never met I assumed it would be best not to startle the girl when she woke this morning” Demetri replies “Sounds fair” Alec replied.

Jane and Y/N enter the throne room first and walk to stand beside Aro; Demetri, Felix and Alec arrive a few moments later. As the three male vampires enter the room they notice Jane and the human girl standing beside Aro and that there are no other guards in the room. Alec moves to stand on the other side of Y/N so she is now stood between the twins. “Thank you for meeting with us this morning. I have some news to share with you all, although it will affect Demetri more than the rest of you” Aro begins gaining the room’s attention. “I would like to introduce you all to Y/N Swan, Bella’s younger sister and she is to join our family…as Demetri’s mate” Aro adds looking at Demetri now to gage his reaction at the news. ‘So that’s what Jane meant when she said Y/N was mine’ He thought to himself and smiled at the girl, who smiled back.

“Brother, how do you know they’re mates?” Caius asks curious “I don’t brother. Jane discovered Y/N’s gift by accident and once I met her I knew that she would need to be changed as she was made aware of our world during our visit…” “You mean the Cullens told another human about us?” Caius cut Aro off “No, brother. Y/N found out about us after I asked to meet her as I was curious about her gift. Carlisle and Esme offered to turn Y/N and make her a part of their family but I knew you would not like that brother” Aro looked back at Caius, who nodded “So I proposed an alternative solution. Demetri has been on his own for a very long time and thought he would welcome Y/N as his mate. I have every confidence that he will treat her well and look after her” Aro adds smiling at Demetri, who was still looking at Y/N smiling “So you have ‘arranged’ this paring brother and are hoping that it works out?” Marcus asked “Indeed brother. Now I think Demetri and Y/N should go back to his room and get to know one another a little” Aro says and motions for Y/N and Demetri to leave the room. Y/N nods at Aro and walks to over to Demetri but before they can say or do anything Caius speaks up again “Brother you mentioned the girl has a gift. What is it?” “Ahh yes brother, Y/N has the gift of Telekinesis” Aro replies; Y/N notices Felix looks a little confused “It means I can move things with my mind” She explains to him and she hears Demetri chuckle beside her “I think we’ll get along just fine cara” Demetri says to Y/N and takes her warm hand in his cold one and they make their way back to his room. Aro was pleased as it seemed Demetri was interested in getting to know his ‘mate.’

A few days later Demetri leaves the castle to run a few errands and when he returns he immediately seeks out Y/N, finding her in the library. “Hello Y/N, I hope you have not been too bored in my absence?” He asked as he sat beside her “I think it’s hard to get too bored when you have a library as big as this” She replies with a smile and he nods “Yes, I must admit it is rather large and we do add to it every few decades” Demetri stands and holds out his hand “Come with me please, I have a gift for you” She places her hand in his and he leads her back to his room. Once inside he lights the fireplace and then sits beside her on the sofa “Here, this is for you” He says as he hands her a small box. She opens the box to see a gold ring inside with a small diamond set in the middle of two small rubies “Th-Thank you Demetri…you-you didn’t have to…” “I know but I wanted to Y/N” He said taking the ring out of the box and placing it on her finger, placing a kiss to her forehead.

Demetri also seemed interested in Y/N’s gift of Telekinesis as noone else in the guard had that gift and he and the Volturi had never come across anyone with that gift before either. “So how does your gift work Y/N?” Demetri asked one evening as they sat reading by the fire “I can show you…if you’d like?” She offered and he nodded smiling “Ok, then” She added looking around the room and noticed that his desk was littered with papers and books. She stood from the sofa and made her way closer to his desk and waved her hands in the air over his desk and Demetri watched wide eyed as the papers were neatly stacked on the left side of his desk and the books on the right. She made her way back to the sofa and waved her hand over the coffee table and the book she had finished reading found its way back into the bookcase “That’s impressive Y/N” He said smiling at her “Thank you” She blushed a little looking down at her feet “I know it’s not much but Aro says if I practice my gift will improve” She looked up at him through her lashes and saw that he was smiling at her “He’s right it will improve over time. I can help you…if you’d like?” He offered and she nodded.

During the second week of Y/N being in the castle Demetri started to get a little frustrated at taking care of his human “How are you and Y/N getting along?” Heidi asked “It feels more like I’m babysitting the girl than spending time with my mate. Humans need so much attention and not to mention they need to sleep like eight hours a night, so whilst she sleeps I get to spend my nights alone just as I have done for the last 1000 years. I mean what’s the point?” He replied as he helped Heidi prepare for the following week’s ‘tour.’ “Don’t speak like that Dem, Y/N is your mate and yes she’s human but only until you change her” Heidi said defending the girl “That’s another thing…I have to change her, take responsibility for her…all because Aro thought he’d solve me being a little lonely by giving me a human as a mate” He replied sounding a little bitter “I’m surprised at you Demetri. I would have thought that you would have loved looking after her, taking care of her and eventually changing her as it meant that she was truly yours” Heidi added, Demetri didn’t respond so they continued with their task in silence.

Y/N had been at the castle for about three weeks when Demetri’s behaviour changed towards her; he no longer wanted to be around her, no longer wanted to take care of her. Having Aro choose his mate for him is something Demetri was not happy about and he made sure she remembered she wasn’t his choice. He stopped spending his free time with her, this included not spending evenings with her; choosing instead to spend them with Felix or Alec or Santiago, sometimes the four of them got together and played cards, other times he just spent the night reading in Felix’s room thus leaving Y/N all alone except for the times when Jane went to see her, which wasn’t often.

After a few weeks of being left alone all the time Y/N begun to feel lonely but she didn’t say anything to anyone instead opting to just put on a smile whenever she was around the guards. Deep down she knew what was happening but she didn’t want to believe it.

Demetri was sitting in Felix’s room one night and their conversation turned to Y/N and that was the night Demetri finally rejected her. “I’m guessing as you are sitting here with me again things haven’t improved with Y/N over the past month?” Felix asked “She wasn’t my choice Felix, she was Aro’s. What happens when I meet my actual mate?” Felix didn’t answer, just looked over his friend’s shoulder to see Y/N standing in his bedroom doorway. “I didn’t think vampires chose their mates. I thought they had no say in who they were mated to” Y/N said sounding a little confused “Fate chooses our mate for us. Someone who is meant for us, the other half of our soul, the missing piece that compliments us…completes us” Demetri replied turning to look at her and empathising certain words to make his point. She nodded in understanding before she answered him “You weren’t my choice either Demetri. I had things I wanted to do with my life and now I’ll never get the chance. So...I propose a compromise...we get to know one another a little...become friends even and if / when you meet your mate, your other half…you can claim her and live happily ever after if that’s what you want. She never has to know about me being Aro’s choice” She tried to keep her voice level and Demetri thought for a moment before nodding “Fine...I suppose we can try and become friends” “Ok then. I’ll go pack my things and move out of your room…tonight” She turned and walked back to Demetri’s room going straight into his closet and began packing her clothes and shoes, biting her bottom lip hard to prevent herself from crying at being rejected by the man she had started to have feelings for. A few minutes later she heard Demetri’s voice behind her “The room opposite mine is empty, I’ll help you move your stuff when you’re ready” “Thank you Demetri, but I think I can manage” She replied not looking at him and continued to pack.

It took her less than an hour to pack her clothes, shoes and her other belongings, she wheeled her suitcases across the hall and into the closet of her new room. She turned to go back to Demetri’s room to collect the rest of her stuff when she saw him in the doorway “Here, they looked heavy so I thought I’d help you. Where do you want them?” “Er…thank you. You can just put them by the door as I’m not sure where I want things” She replied giving him a smile. He placed the boxes down by the door, making one last trip to bring her the rest of her stuff before going back to his room, happy he could spend a night in his own space…without her.

About a week later Aro found out about their compromise but did nothing about it for Y/N was still apart of his coven even if she wasn’t bound to Demetri as his mate. In fact he was impressed at how she handled Demetri’s rejection of her; being the bigger person and offering a solution to the ‘problem.’ Aro decided to let the two of them figure out how to become friends, hoping that it might become something more.

Over the next few weeks Y/N tried many things to try and connect with Demetri; to get to know him as a friend. She found out from Felix what his favourite book was and read it so they would have something to talk about; that conversation didn’t last long and nor did it lead to further conversation topics as she hoped. She even asked him to help her with her ‘gift’ to practice and hone her Telekinesis and he agreed to help after guard duty one Friday evening, agreeing to meet her in the training room. She made her way to the training room on the day and time they agreed but realised after ten minutes that he had stood her up. She made her way back to her room passing the Games Room along the way and heard him talking and laughing with Felix and Alec. She ran back to her room and locked the door before climbing on her bed ‘I didn’t choose to come here, to be with him but as least I tried’ she thought to herself. She cried herself to sleep that night at the realisation ‘I’m just not good enough for him.’

Despite the compromise they had made Demetri still wasn’t happy with the situation but he tried to get to know her or at least that’s what he told himself as he continued to push her away. Following him standing her up in the training room Y/N decided not to push him into spending time with her; she stopped trying to get know him. She had finally realised that he only agreed to her suggestion of a compromise as it meant that he got his room back, making it easier for him to avoid her.

Demetri spent so much time pushing her away that whatever little connection there was in the beginning was now fractured. This saddened Marcus most of all as he knew what it was like to spend forever alone; he would give anything to have someone to love, someone to take care of. For the first time since Demetri joined them he was disappointed in the tracker; disappointed with his behaviour and treatment of Y/N. For if he took the time to get to know her he would realise that she was indeed chosen for him by fate; that Aro was merely the ‘middle man’ bringing them together, ensuring their paths crossed. Y/N was the key to Demetri’s happy ending and he had rejected her. Marcus decided to keep this information to himself after finding Y/N in the garden upset one day whilst Demetri was away on a mission.

“Good afternoon Y/N. How are you settling in?” He asked softly taking a seat beside her on the bench “Good afternoon Marcus. I’ve settled in ok, thank you for asking” She lied and he knew it “Really? You have been here for a few months now and you don’t seem to have made many friends…” “Well as a human in a castle full of vampires it’s hard to make friends…especially as they are already friends with the one who…” She stopped herself from finishing that sentence “The one that rejected you. Is that what you were going to say?” He asked looking at her; she turned to face him her eyes filled with tears and just nodded in response. “I am sorry my dear that you are so unhappy…I wish there was something I could do” He replied softly, wrapping an arm around her “It’s ok really…I’ll be ok” She said trying hard not to let the tears fall. After that conversation Marcus figured being rejected once was enough heartache for the girl to endure and decided he would not meddle; he’d let things run their course, confident that fate would intervene and bring them back together before it was too late. If only he knew what the future held.

#demetri volturi #felix volturi #jane volturi #alec volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #volturi

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lonelyreputation · 4 years

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Cross The Line

A/N: Hiiii!! I know I said I would be posting angst next, but ha! Sike!!! Here’s a SMUT piece for ya! Ha! To the anon who requested this––So sorry that it's been so long sljdflksd writing takes me a while and then you add smut (well, I added it in lmao) into the mix I tend to overthink alksjfld Keep your eyes peeled for some new fics!! I have a new chapter of C’est Toi, Different, and some other ones coming next week!

As always, let me know what you guys thought!! 💫 💗 Thank you to everyone for your immensely kind words!!! My heart is always filled to the brim with kindness by you lot 🥺

REQUEST: Stylist!ReaderxShawn // Friends to Something More

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: SMUT!!! LIKE ALL THE WAY SMUT THIS TIME!! AHH!!!

Word Count: 7.2K

The excitement backstage was nothing like you had felt before. After coming off a successful European leg of tour, with a two month break, everyone was reenergized. Stagehands were high-fiving the merchandise team, the lighting director was laughing with the audio technician, and Andrew was playing tag with the band.

You were leaned up against the back wall with Connor, discretely listening in on Shawn’s fan Q&A before the show.

“What’s your favorite outfit that Y/n’s put together for you?”

At the sound of your name your postured straightened and Connor nudged an elbow into your stomach. You turned your head to the side and whispered a harsh keep your hands to yourself.

“That’s not what you told Shawn the night of the last London show.”

You whipped your head to look at Connor, eyes wide, “You swore to never bring that up again.”

Connor’s smirk only widened as he turned his head back to face Shawn. You followed his gaze and saw that he was looking down and twirling the white rose he held between his fingers, “Um…I liked the VMA outfit she dressed me in––The green suit.”

The crowd aww’d at his shyness while some let out little shrieks of joy as they clutched their friend’s hand. Once Shawn looked up from the rose, cheeks nice and red, his eyes automatically landed on you in the back. He offered you a secret smile as you shot your head down to look at your feet; both knowing exactly how that night ended with his suit on the floor.

“Did you miss her the most when you went on break?”

Connor nudged his elbow into your side again, and before you could silently tell him off again, Shawn’s soothing voice captured your attention.

“I mean yeah, sure––I––“ he was cut off by even more shrill screams of the fans when he admitted to missing you. The fans sounded exactly how you felt on the inside, “––Of course I missed her, she’s one of my best friends,” more shrill screaming, “And like––I––I missed everyone––Connor, Andrew, Cez–––“

“But you missed her the most, right?”

Shawn’s eyes momentarily connected with yours for a minute before moving his soft eyes to meet the fan who cut him off, “I think it’s time for me to get ready for the show.”

With his avoidance of the question, the fans only squealed more––taking it as confirmation that yes, he did miss you the most––and Connor nudged your side once more. You shot him a glare as you pushed yourself off from the wall with your foot.

“Some of us have to actually work, Connor.”

He let out a stifle of a laugh and shot you yet another mischievous glance, “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of work done dressing him down before the show.”

Connor scurried away out the door and down the hall as you stood in the back with your mouth hung open. Sure, you and Shawn had some sort of relationship that challenged the line of friends or more, but he was your boss and you were his employee.

Everyone turned a blind eye whenever Shawn threw an arm around you, pulled you in close to his side, and pressed a prolonged kiss to your cheek. And everyone ignored you when you took extra time buttoning up his shirt. Everyone––the fans, the crew, even Andrew––was conscious about the peculiar dynamic between the two of you, but no one ever said anything because you two knew not to never cross that line.

Shawn took a chance hiring you with only minimal experience on your resumé, fresh out of university with a fashion merchandising degree. It started with shy smiles and Shawn bringing you a cup of tea made to your liking every time he saw you. Then the nervous laughter turned into longing stares as he looked down at you shining his shoes. And finally, after fixing the collar of his shirt, when you let your hands rest on his chest for a few seconds longer than normal, he ducked his head and kissed you.

It was quick. A soft press of his lips against yours that happened so fast you didn’t process what had happened until he was a rambling mess in front of you. He apologized at least a hundred times: I’m so so sorry, Y/n––I don’t know what I was thinking––I just thought that you––And I––I thought there was something between us––I’m so sorry––I crossed a line.

You let him collect his final thoughts as he let out a deep sigh of embarrassment, turning on his heels to dart out of the room and hide until the end of time, but you took hold of his hand before he could take a step away from you. The seconds you held his hand gently in yours felt like hours as you held your breath.

You remembered how thick the air was with tension. All of the secret glances and private touches led up to this moment. With a shaky breath, you let out a whisper that rang through both of your ears, I think I feel something, too.

Not even a second later, Shawn took your face in both of his hands as he pressed a hard kiss to your lips. It was everything a first kiss with someone new was; noses bumping against each other, a few awkward teeth clanks, and accelerated heart rates. But with more time exploring one another, the two of you knew exactly what the other enjoyed between the sheets.

You were walking down the hall, on your way to Shawn’s dressing room, when a strong arm draped around your shoulder. You felt a smile tug at the corner of your lips, knowing exactly who it was, as they fell into sync with your walking pace.

“What’s the hurry, roadie?”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname Shawn bestowed on you when you told him the horror story of telling your parents you would be traveling to work for him. So, like a roadie? Your mother had said with a twinge of disdain in her voice, not fully believing that this was neither a viable source of income nor a stable career.

You brought an arm to wrap around his waist, “Just on my way to dress up a client.”

“Must be a pretty important client if you’re walking that fast.”

“Well,” you peered up at him and saw that he was looking straight forward with a smirk on his face, “Was maybe hoping to just have some time alone together before.”

Your voice was soft, wavering a little like the day you told him you felt something between each other for the first time. Your voice didn’t imply that you wanted to do anything sexual with him, it was said with a more innocent tone, because you really did just want to spend some time alone with him. The easy going and zen aura he manifested definitely had an effect whenever you spent time with him.

You felt at peace when you were in the same room as him. You felt at ease when he sat next to you on the couch. And you felt giddy whenever he slotted his hand between yours and played with your fingers.

You had begun to feel something way more than the excitement of a sexual relationship. But you didn't know how Shawn felt. You two never talked about your feelings for each other. Of course you enjoyed each other’s presence a little too much, cared for each other a little more than how best friend’s cared for each other, and you thought a little more about what his words meant than just a regular friend.

You had crossed the line with your feelings.

“C’mon,” Shawn guided you toward the double doors that led out of the arena and to the parking lot with the tour busses.

Your movements held no objection as you let him direct you, but your voice was different, “But you have to get ready–––”

“I wear the same pair of jeans and white shirt,” Shawn looked down at you with a smile as you felt the heat of the Portland air on your skin, “I’ll be fine.”

“You do not wear the same pair of jeans every night,” you objected, “I make sure they get washed after every performance,” you glared at him as his tour bus came into view, “so if you’re wearing the same pair then we need to have a serious talk.”

Shawn let out a boisterous laugh as he detached his arm from around your shoulder to open the door. You offered him a smile as a thank you and walked up the stairs into the familiar temporary home.

Shawn followed close behind you and swiftly closed the door. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest with the silence. You were always nervous to be alone with him, but with recognizing your newfound feelings for him, all thoughts of composure left your mind and you were left in a puddle of your emotions.

“You know I––I didn’t––” Your back was to him, but you still shut your eyes tight in embarrassment, “––I didn’t mean I wanted anything more when I said I wanted alone time with you.”

“I know,” his voice was deep as you heard it from behind.

“I just––I like spending time with you,” your arms hung stiffly at your sides, hands curling into fists so tight at your confession, that you knew there would be a dozen crescent moon shapes along your palm, “We don’t need to do anything.”

You could feel Shawn’s breath hit the back of your neck as he spoke, “I know.”

“But like––If you want to––We can do stuff because I like that too, but I––I just wanted you to know that I…” your words trailed off as you felt Shawn’s hands ghost over your own, simultaneously easing your nerves and heightening them all at once, “…I like the times when we don't do any of that stuff.”

“I like those times too.”

It was the closest thing to a confession of feelings shared between the two of you.

In a moment of confidence, you spun around to face him, scared to see his facial expression. While Shawn was gifted in the way he expressed words, you knew him well enough to know that his facial expressions held the full truth. So, when you glanced up at him, and he was looking into your eyes with the same amount of desperation and longing you had in yours, you took your confidence up to another level.

You looped your index finger into the gap above one of the buttons on his shirt and pulled him in for an innocent kiss, curling your other hand around his neck.

When you pulled back, he seemed to be in a bit of a dazed and dreamlike state, with his lips pink and slightly parted as his brown eyes stared affectionately into yours. The look in his eyes alerted you to the fact that maybe he wanted this too. Maybe he wanted to tiptoe across the line with you.

“I like being with you,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as you spoke the words that both of you knew held a deeper meaning. Your fingers continued to play with the curls at the nape of his neck, “You calm me down.”

Another moment of silence passed and you felt the nerves bubble up in your stomach. But you knew that Shawn felt the same way, you could tell by looking into his eyes as you saw the mechanics whirling through his mind, debating on whether or not to cross the line.

You were across the line and held out a hand for him to join you.

Just when you were about to retreat from the bus out of embarrassment that maybe he only wanted to be physical with you, he gathered you up and kissed you again, one hand on your cheek as it slid down your neck. You were positive he could hear the beat of your heart as he slowly walked you backwards down the little living area and to his private room in the back.

You broke the kiss, “But soundcheck––”

“They can find someone else to sing into the mic,” he interrupted you, turning the knob of the door to the small bedroom. The door flew open and Shawn reattached your lips as he rushed the two of you inside. And then, as if there were prying eyes of eager fans who wanted to know every detail about his life around, he shut the door right behind him so that it was just the two of you in the room.

Alone for the first time since crossing the line.

Shawn wasted no time in taking your hips in his hands as he pressed you up against the door, attacking you with kisses. The odd plastic material of the door was uncomfortable against your back, but with Shawn’s chest pressed up against yours, you didn’t mind it.

As if it would be the last time you kissed, the two of you weren’t holding back. The kisses he gave you, that you reciprocated, were open-mouthed, rough, and fiery.

In moments like these, it was your greatest desire to run your hands along his chest, to be as physically close to him as possible, to rest your hands on his chest to feel if his heartbeat was beating as fast as yours. But with both of his hands pinning your arms down to your sides, Shawn made that impossible, and you were forced to keep your arms limp as he nipped down your neck.

But after a few shrugs of your shoulder, he released your arms and you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tugging on his hair. Shawn was particular when people touched his hair, and your fingers were full of hesitance when they first combed through his curls, but from the guttural sound he made when you pulled his hair from your collarbone back up to your lips, you knew he wasn’t complaining about you messing up his hair.

As much as you wanted to feel him, you savored the feeling of him touching your body. His fingers ran up and down your sides, tracing lines on your back, inching your dress up.

Suddenly, as if the reality of the situation came crashing down on him, he pulled away from you and ran his own hand through his hair. You didn’t have to feel his heartbeat to know that it was beating just as fast as yours.

While you weren’t pleased by the sudden loss of contact, you couldn’t help but feel the slow tug of a smile at the corners of your mouth as you looked at him. His white collared shirt was wrinkled and half-way untucked from his black skinny jeans. And his curls were sticking up in a few different directions.

“You still wanna do this?”

His voice wavered in uncertainty, just like it did the day he first kissed you.

You stepped forward, hooking your index fingers through his belt loops, as you tilted your head up to sneak another kiss away from him as your answer. Finally, he crossed the line and was with you on the other side.

Shawn held your head in his hands, tucking your hair behind your ears as he dragged his tongue across your lip to tease you. You could’ve done without the short and sudden break of his kisses, but you would do anything for him if it eased his nerves.

There was a change of pace to the way he touched you. Your heart was still beating at a pace that would worry some medical professionals, but you felt calm and a sense of control you hadn’t felt before. Your fingers stumbled over his belt buckle as you somehow managed to unhook it, only breaking your kisses once to pull the belt out of the loops. You held the leather material loosely in your hands, as you let it it slip away, dropping to the floor of the tour bus carelessly, the clanking of the buckle was loud enough for both of you to jump.

“My bad,” you nervously laughed off your embarrassment. Shawn pulled away slightly to stare at you. A smile softly made its way onto his face as he tilted his head to look at you with adoration. You felt hot under his gaze, but you didn’t mind the attention you were receiving from him.

Just like every time you had been together, you wanted to watch him come undone and know that it was you who caused him to feel that way.

Shawn’s eyes traveled up, smile widening as crinkles appeared in the corner of his eyes as he softly laughed at the flower crown tangled in your hair. It took both of his hands to remove it, and when he found a strand of hair tangled on the stem of one of the flowers, he gently unraveled it.

“I thought it added a nice touch to my outfit, a fan gave it to me,” you said with a pout as Shawn placed the flower crown on the small table in the room, “Don’t you like to play dress-up?”

“No,” Shawn answered with a whisper, “I’m tired of games.”

There was something about his voice, a delicateness to it that held a certain amount of desperation––of exhaustion––that you wanted to make disappear.

His tone was soon replaced with a boyish smile before he reattached your lips to his. Both of you took your time, but the urgency in your kisses and touches didn’t go unnoticed. Your fingers went to unbuttoning his shirt as you guided him to walk backwards to his bed. Once the top half of the shirt was unbuttoned, you slid your hands inside, spreading the shirt open to pop off the rest of the buttons. Shawn pulled his arms out one by one, as the shirt slowly slid off his shoulders, making sure that he always had a hand on your body. Once his shirt was fully unbuttoned and hanging from the top of his jeans, you tugged on the tucked portion out of his pants to threw it on the floor.

“That shirt wrinkles easily,” Shawn easily smiled at you, “My stylist will have your head.”

You let out a humorless laugh as you ran your hands over his chest, “I hear if you ask her nicely she’ll do anything you say.”

His skin was warm like the summer air.

“Will she now?” His smile morphed into a smirk as you felt him fiddle with the zipper on the back of your dress. You nodded your head as you felt him pull the zipper down your back in a teasingly slow manner only to zip it right back up.

He did that a few times and the control over him you felt before was dwindling away with every tug of the dress zipper. Instead of surrendering and giving him the upper hand, you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed. Surprised by your act of boldness, he tilted his head up at you. But you could see that he enjoyed whatever dynamic was happening from the mischievous glint that twinkled up at you.

You moved to stand in between his legs, looking down at him and mirroring the lust in his eyes, as he wrapped his hands around your thighs at your knees and dragged his hands up. He never broke eye contact with you as his hands moved further up your thighs, disappearing under the material of your dress.

You urged Shawn to scoot back on the bed. With your hands on his shoulders to keep balanced, you straddled him, resting your knees on either side of him. You paused for a moment to run a hand through his hair before bending your head to capture his lips in a kiss. Shawn’s hands gripped your waist, and with one hand inching up your back toward the zipper, he finally managed to bring the zipper all the way down.

But before your moment of intimacy could continue on, you pulled back and raised your eyebrows at him. Shawn didn’t seem too pleased at the loss of contact, but didn’t press you any further than what you were comfortable with.

“Are you sure?”

You were giving him an out; he knew that. And while you wanted nothing more to continue on with what was to come, first and foremost he was your boss. You were on his payroll and you didn’t want to make things any more complicated than they already were. Sure, the two of you had sex before, but this was crossing a line into uncharted territory with real feelings.

Your question caused his smile to falter a little. But with a hoarse voice, he managed to soften his eyes as they stared into yours, doing his best to convey every word, “Really fucking sure.”

The way he looked into your eyes––like you held every inspiration to every one of his future songs and how his voice sounded like he was pleading with you to let him imoralitize every detail of this feeling on pen and paper––you almost surrendered. You almost let him have complete control to do whatever he pleased to your body, just so you could really feel the true impact of his words. But you didn’t want to wave a white flag just yet, so you motioned him to slide further back on the bed, placing a hand flat on his chest and pushed him down.

You had never been so forward with him, so direct in what you wanted, that a gasp escaped from his throat when his head hit the pillow. Leaning over him, you lowered yourself down, pinning his arms by his biceps, much like he had done to you earlier against the door, and caught him in a kiss. This time, your tongue dominated, exploring every inch of his mouth and softly biting down on his lower lip, dragging it away with you until you released it.

Shawn didn’t fight you, and you kept your grip on his biceps as you trailed kisses up his jaw all the way to his ear, nibbling on the lobe. Your kisses up and down his neck were full of desire, licking and sucking your way down.

Shawn sighed as you reached his collarbone, and when you peered up at him, his eyes were closed. His body radiated with warmth, as you moved your lips slowly down his chest, as you released the grip you had on his arms to caress his chest.

As soon as his biceps were free from the constraints of your hands, Shawn gained the upper hand, and flipped you over so you were on your back. He sat with his knees between your legs, with the lack of control you felt sheepish under him, but he offered you a shy smile that rekindled the light in your lower abdomen.

Shawn started at your knees, one hand on each, and ran his hands over your legs. His eyes were bright and alluring, stare never faltering, as your body was on high alert, attentive as his fingers skimmed underneath your dress.

Even with the dress still on, you felt exposed, as he gripped your thighs with each hand and pulled you toward him. Then he leaned down toward you, moving slowly between your legs and up your torso to give you another kiss.

“Y/n,” Shawn hummed as if not believing he was awake for this moment. He slowly dragged down a strap of your dress and kissed the spot of your shoulder where it had previously laid, “We’re gonna do this?”

“I…I want to,” you admitted shyly, pulling your arm out of the strap. Shawn helped you remove your other arm from the strap as you asked, “Do you want to?”

Shawn smiled, “I really want to.” He sat up, pulling your dress up over your head so fast that you weren’t even sure how it happened until you felt a coldness over your exposed body.

Your dress was tossed carelessly on the floor, as Shawn leaned down to press his chest against yours.

“Cold?” Shawn mumbled as he kissed his way down your neck.

“Um…no,” you sighed in response to his gentle biting at your skin. “You––You’re really warm.”

Shawn leaned over and pulled back the covers on the bed, and nodded for you to climb under the sheets, which you did without hesitation. As your head hit the pillow, Shawn crawled in soon after, unclasping your bra as he glided the straps down your shoulders.

Your fingers fumbled with the button on his pants, which was a little hard considering how tight you were pressed up against each other under the covers. But once you popped the button from his jeans off, Shawn wiggled his legs from out of his pants, flinging them aside. There was a noticeable bulge in his boxer-briefs, and you sucked in a deep breath. Your moment of shyness caused him to let out a small chuckle as he brought a hand to rest on your stomach.

“I kinda like it when you’re nervous,” Shawn whispered and nudged your feet apart, brushing his fingers along the waistband of your underwear. He dipped his index finger below the waistband, gasping when he touched your skin.

“I’m––We’ve had sex before,” you tried to keep your voice even, but with his fingers dropping dangerously low, your voice wavered, “I’m not…nervous.”

Shawn shut his eyes and leaned down to press a peck on your lips. “Okay,” his words were muffled against your lips, as his fingertips lightly brushed over your crotch that was still covered by your underwear. You shivered again, but this time it wasn’t from the cold air. He placed the hand on your waist to hold you in place as he leaned down to catch your lips in a heated kiss. His tongue slid into your mouth with no reservations as his hand rubbed soft circles on the inside of your thigh.

His hand left your thighs and traveled upward, pressing a hand flat on you, watching you for your reaction to his touch.

You were crumbling like a cookie when he brought his hand to his mouth, sliding his index and middle finger between his lips. You felt the anticipation building in your lower stomach. He brought his fingers out of his mouth, raising his eyebrow and smirking at you, glowing with smugness. Before you could criticize him for it, his hand slid under your underwear, with his wet fingers gliding over you in between your slit.

As if it was like you were on autopilot, your eyes closed, head falling back on the pillow as you started to feel the build up of the state of euphoria you knew Shawn was going to lead you to. His fingers were agonizingly slow at first as they became acquainted with the sensitive area. His movements were torturous as you bit your bottom lip to keep any obscene words from coming out. Every time the pads of his fingers rubbed your clit, your breath got caught in your throat.

When your eyes opened, just for a millisecond, you should see that his eyes were only focused on you. His eyes seemed just as intrigued by your reaction as you were with his fingers. You brought a hand up onto his shoulder, slowly moving it to the back of his neck to hold you for support, bringing him down for a kiss that you instantly deepened. Shawn made that sound again, a content grunt in the back of his throat, as you felt the feeling of the bulge grow against your thigh.

Still breathing heavily, Shawn broke the kiss, but still had his fingers working down below.

“I want you,” he breathed, lips against your ear. And from the way his fingers skimmed over you with ease, slippery and coated, he knew just how much you wanted him.

Before you could verbalize your desire for him, his arm tightened around you as he pushed your thighs further apart with his knee. His middle finger began to move in circles over your clit, gentle at first, then increasing in pressure. You threw your head back onto the pillow, clenching your jaw tight to hold off the sounds you knew he wanted you to make. But when the speed of his fingers increased, you opened your eyes and were automatically met with his determined eyes staring into yours, you couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your lips. You brought an arm up to curl around his neck to lift yourself up slightly from the bed as you buried your head into the crook of his neck to muffle the sound of your moans.

When Shawn removed his finger from beneath your underwear for a split second you groaned into his neck, missing the contact of his skin on yours when you were so close to a release. He took his wrist and rolled it to stretch it out and then his hand dipped right back in as you pressed a kiss to his neck.

His movements were a little sloppier with his tired hand, but the feeling in your lower stomach began to build faster and faster with every flick of his wrist. A tingly feeling started out on the tip of your toes and spread further and further up your body, making all of the hair on your body stick up.

When you finally felt it––the tensing of your muscles and a euphoric release all at once––you threw your head back on the pillow, bringing Shawn down with you, as your hips bucked against his hand. But his movements didn’t stop there, he kept his finger circling your clit, encouraging you to ride out your high.

You were not a stranger to Shawn making you feel like you were on top of the world, but something about confirming your mutual want for each other beyond a little fun here and there, made your orgasm earth shattering. You felt it rip through your body that left you in a puddle on the bed. Shawn slowed down his movements, hooking his fingers around the band of your underwear, helping you shimmy out of them. In one swift movement, he discarded your underwear somewhere around the room and removed his own.

Once he kicked his legs to get his underwear off from around his ankles he trapped you in a kiss, grinding his body against yours, not shy about his growing hardness brushing against the inside of your thigh.

With a lazy smile, he pulled away from the kiss as he lifted his body from yours, reaching over to the small night stand next to the bed. He fumbled his hand inside the drawer, “Where is it––Fucking thing––Got it,” he slammed the drawer closed with a bang as he retrieved the condom, ripped the package open, and left the wrapper on the night stand.

As you watched him slip the condom on, all you could think of was how many times you found yourself in this position; lying beneath Shawn, forehead glistening with a bit of sweat, as you felt a shiver shake your body at what was about to happen.

Shawn leaned down, leaving a trail of kisses up your stomach before meeting your lips. His warmth spread over you, bringing a slight relaxing effect to your nerves. Your breaths were shallow, chest rising and falling rapidly. Shawn noticed your nerves and paused, the tip of his shaft against your opening.

“Everything’s alright,” he lightly brushed his lips against yours in reassurance.

Shawn waited until he got a nod in confirmation from you before he continued, and in one swift motion, he slid in with ease. You scrunched up your nose and screwed your eyes shut as you felt him push himself further into you. It was a pleasurable sensation, but you couldn’t deny the little bit of pain you felt as he stretched your walls.

When Shawn saw the expression on your face, he slowed down his movements, letting out a grunt as he came to a complete stop, “Okay?”

There was a tenderness behind his words from the way he checked in on you to make sure you were comfortable. He had always been gentle and kind with you in the past, but this felt more special. And the more you looked up at his face, with his eyebrows scrunched together in concern, it planted a seed of confidence in your stomach to try something neither of you had done in the bedroom together; you lightly pushed at his chest for him to get off you.

Before he could get a word past his lips, you sat up and swung one of your legs over his waist. You took his cheeks into your hands, and when Shawn realized what you were doing, a smirk grew on his face. He propped himself up on his elbows, moving back on the bed a bit, as you placed your hands on his shoulders.

Without another word, you lowered yourself onto him, Shawn trying his best to keep his eyes open and connected with yours.

But when you sunk fully down onto him, he screwed his eyes tight, throwing his head back against the flimsy tour bus headboard, “Shit.”

You kept one hand on his shoulder as the other trailed up to hold his cheek in your hand, thumb grazing his jawline as you felt it tighten. You moaned softly, neither one of you saying a word, as your fingernails dug into his shoulder.

With the new position you found yourself in, you had more of a sense of control than any of the other times you were intimate with him. It was something you liked. You were moving, up and down, at a rhythmic pace, as Shawn ran his fingers up and down your thighs. He placed a hand on your waist, keeping you in position as he moved further back on the bed.

Your movements were faster and Shawn pressed a quick kiss to your lips as he lowered his head and placed his lips over your breast. If it wasn’t for Shawn’s hand on your hip, encouraging you to keep up with your movements, you would have stopped right then and there. Your mouth hung open as you felt his tongue swirl around your nipple, at a loss for words, you ran your fingers through his curls and pulled on them a little. Shawn moaned against your breast in pleasure, sending vibrations throughout your body.

Shawn lifted his head and placed a sweet kiss below your ear, “Relax.” His voice was soft, but seeing as you two were still connected at the hips, his voice was thick.

You hadn’t realized that your breathing was sharp and uneven. You stilled your hips and pressed a hand against your chest, as you tried to calm down your breathing. You were more embarrassed about your erratic breathing than you were about being naked on top of him. He had seen you naked before, but never had he seen you nervous quite like this.

“I…” You were racking your brain for an excuse, but with a quirk of his eyebrow and a soft smile, you knew any lie you told would be detected by him, “I’m nervous.”

Shawn smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek before wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you in for a hug. His calloused fingers ran up and down your spine as you buried your head in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep, shaky breath.

“It’s alright,” Shawn whispered into your ear, fingers still delicately dancing on your back, “Trust me.”

He pressed a few kisses on your shoulder before you nodded your head against him. You trusted him a lot. More than you probably should. With your confirmation, Shawn pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head and wrapped a strong arm around your waist as he swiftly flipped you over onto your back.

Without a slight notion of hesitation, Shawn thrusted back into you, so deep that you clenched your teeth and pressed your head deep onto the pillow. You gasped as he pulled out, and when he thrusted back into you again, sharp and quick, you parted your lips, "Shawn.”

Shawn’s pace was faster than yours, but his thrusts were still careful and executed perfectly as he hit the right spot every time. You let out a sigh of content at the sensation of being joined together with another person––a person you cared deeply about.

He kept himself hovered over you with a hand fisting the white sheets right by your head, and hooked his other arm under your thigh, wrapping it around his waist. He held your thigh in place as he continued his fast thrusts. The only sound you heard in the tiny back room of the tour bus were the mixed gasps of air shared between the two of you and the slap of skin as Shawn repeatedly pushed into you.

Your head started to spin as you felt your stomach tighten, reaching your peak. Shawn had taken the words right from you since he stood behind you when you first walked onto the tour bus. So, as you struggled to keep the lewd sounds of your orgasm to a minimum, you tried to keep your eyes locked with the brown irises above you. His eyebrows were scrunched together as he bit on his bottom lip, concentrating on every thrust of his hips as they collided with yours.

His eyes were soft, trailing down your body and then back up to stare into your eyes. You brought a hand up to his forehead and pushed back the curls that were slightly sticking to hid skin from the thin layer of sweat. He sucked in a breath of air as you felt the pads of fingers tighten around your thigh.

“Y/n.”

You could feel when he hit his high; voice sounding desperate, as his pace became quicker and sloppier as he lowered himself until your chests were pressed together. He nuzzled his head into your neck, pressing hot open kisses up and down your throat.

You grabbed a fisful of his curls as he continued to slowly rock back and forth until he completely stalled his movement inside of you. He released a deep breath, hot and full of pure content at the conclusion of your little activity, and raised his head to look into your eyes. Shawn reached a hand up and ran his fingers over your hairline before softly tracing his fingers down the side of your face, cupping your cheek.

With your chests still stuck together by sweat, he only had to lower his head a few centimeters to brush his lips against yours. The kisses were intimate, soft like a kid chasing a butterfly on a warm spring afternoon, before he changed the pace and captured your lips in a deep kiss. The hold he had on your thigh dropped as he trailed his hand from the tops of your thigh, giving your hips a light pinch that had you squirming under him, and then slid his hand up to rest on your ribcage, just below your breast.

Your thoughts were wildly running around, basking in the feeling of being fully consumed by him.

You were consumed by the feeling of the blazing trail his touches left on you. Consumed by his voice, saying your name with all the care and wonder in the world, but also in a tone that you would never want your parents to hear. Consumed by the taste of his salty skin as you pressed kisses along his neck and the smell of freshly washed clothes mixed with sweet post-sex. But most of all, you were consumed by the sight of the boy on top of you; eyes always searching yours to make sure you were comfortable.

It felt like you didn’t know how to breathe until this moment.

When he pulled out of you, there was a shy smile toying on his face. He looked nothing like the previous times when the two of you had just finished having sex. In those moments in the past, he would have a satisfied and confident smirk on his face, knowing he made you feel better than anyone else. But even with his confidence, he still had those soft eyes though.

Soft eyes and a shy smile.

Shawn removed the condom and tossed it in the trash can that was next to his bed, crawling back under the covers. He laid on his side, head resting on the pillow to face you, as he wiggled under the covers, getting in a comfortable position.

“Hi,” he said with a smile on his face.

You found his hand under the covers and slotted your fingers through his as you returned his soft smile, “Hey.”

Shawn gave your hand a slight squeeze and the two of you fell into silence staring at each other. Normally, being under someone’s gaze, especially Shawn’s, would cause you to shudder back. But not this time. You felt the complete opposite; the more he stared at you, the more you felt desired––more confident.

He untangled your hands, and at first you were sad about the loss of contact, but he threw an arm over your waist and pulled you in close to his chest, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You fitted your arm around him and smiled into his bare chest, because yes, while holding hands is a nice gesture, it didn’t hold a flame to the feeling of leaning against his chest; your head rising and falling with his rhythmic breathing as your heartbeat tried to sync up with his. While you felt the erratic beating of his heart, you were having trouble getting your heartbeat to slow down for him.

Maybe your heart would always beat a little faster for him.

#skdhfksf #here ya go #some smut on this friday #enjoy your weekend!!!!#please let me know your thoughts!!#smut makes me slkjfsd so I'd love to know your thoughts bc I don't write it very often #I hope you've all had a good week!! tell me a highlight!!#THANKS A MILLION BAJILLION!!!#ALSO WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFTS NEW ALBUM WITH ME!!!!#ILLICIT AFFAIRS IS THE ANGST I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF WRITING #it has inspired me in a way though 👀#Shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes fan fic #Shawn Mendes x reader #Shawn Mendes x y/n #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes blurb #Shawn Mendes drabble #Shawn Mendes writing #Shawn Mendes blurbs #Shawn Mendes oneshot #Shawn Mendes one shot #Shawn mendes oneshots #Shawn Mendes writings #Shawn meneds drabbles #Shawn Mendes writings

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