#aight I'm OUT 😂

[vynnyal]

A little something like this, right?

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot

Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜

The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be. 

"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again. 

Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in... 

He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this. 

"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again. 

"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower. 

Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.

Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home. 

I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me. 

"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time. 

"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut. 

I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me. 

"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that. 

"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand. 

"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes. 

"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage. 

"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire. 

I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.

I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate  since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself. 

I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...

After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.

I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already. 

Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here. 

I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them. 

"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels. 

"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed. 

"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon. 

"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.

"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure. 

I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him. 

He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads. 

"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none. 

"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer. 

He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me. 

"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips. 

"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in. 

It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light. 

He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down. 

I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.

"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.

He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.

The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment. 

"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to the valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth making them wet. He places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth on the one in front of him. 

Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit. 

"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.

My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time. 

"Someone's eager" he says against my lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin. 

"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough. 

I need more.

"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier. 

He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations. 

"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops. 

"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his. 

"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry. 

"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one. 

"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.

"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress. 

"Jungkook please, please" I beg, my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight. 

I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone. 

He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.

"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact, making everything seem even more intense. 

Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out. 

I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now. 

"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time. 

After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. “I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up. 

"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said.

I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state. 

After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already. 

"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that. 

"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny. 

"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just that it’s not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.

I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear. 

"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.

"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right. 

"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about. 

"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked. 

"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.

"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight. 

My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.

Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no use.

He leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I’m granted with that same chuckle again. 

"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back. 

"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me material to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size. 

"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him. 

I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @hehurst23 @ye0nvibezzn @olimpiiaa @hrtsj1m @bangtans-momma Rest of the tags continued in the reblogs 💜

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[sillygoofyqueer]

Either before or after would be delightful, though I was thinking it was after Bing-ge became emperor.

I was imagining the situation with Shen Yuan being a transmigrator forced to steal stuff from Bing-ge because that was his character’s original role in the plot. He wants to be inconspicuous about it so as not to get murdered (like canon… also murder of crows, lol) but shiny qi rich things are just too tempting!!! Stupid crow brain won’t let him steal things that are less obvious. ;_;

And yay! You know about the crow tendency to make friends with people then be “helpful” with gifts or savage in their defense. That’s why I like crow-Shen Yuan so much. I can totally see him getting help from his full-crow demon family members (or regular crows if he can control them like ZZL can snakes) to harass assholes by dropping rocks, pooping on them and such while in their full crow forms. 😂

He absolutely feels bad about stealing stuff from people he likes (especially Bing-ge) so of course he always offers payments in exchange. Rare plants, animal parts, non-shiny artifacts, etc. all suspiciously selected to be super useful in upcoming plot events, to Bing-ge’s bafflement. Probably doesn’t help the obsession. How TF does this thief know what he’s going to need soon???

AAAGGGHHHH, THIS IS SO FUN!! I love this idea that Shen Yuan either has like, demon family members that he can relax with (oh em gosh, seeing his original family in these demons?) or just hangs out with like, a murder of crows and is like "aight, get these fuckers" and they just swarm whoever irritated him that day. He definitely has a nest in a mountain somewhere, just filled with these shiny things that he steals from people, and oh my god can he just be like a safe haven for other crows (demon or otherwise) and have little perches that he makes for them and helps the ones that are too injured to hunt for themselves. He's like a master of crows and (despite being just a thorn in the side of the demon emperor) he is known to be terrifying lest these crows get hurt (I'm picturing half human Shen Yuan standing in the shadows of a forest with wings outstretched and just staring down at the culprit) BACK TO BING-GE, I'd find it really funny if Shen Yuan first steals shiny and qi rich things that are small and he can just take in full crow form because they aren't really heavy, leaving Bing-ge like "no fucking way a literal crow has been stealing from me. This feels humiliating what the hell". Later on, he sets a trap for Shen Yuan to steal this big trinket (a statue or something that radiates qi) because he knows it would be too heavy for the crow to take and he can grab it! He waits, then watches as Shen Yuan observes the statue a little bit, before shifting into his half-crow form and just scooping it up into his arms, scowling at the weight before flying out again. Bing-ge is sat there for a while like "what the fuck just happened" and then he watches as Shen Yuan returns a few minutes later with a herb that is supposed to be extremely useful for a poison or something, drops it where the statue was, and darts away again. After that, it's like the only thing on Bing-ge's mind is "how can I get this pretty demon to come back?" and he doesn't even think about his harem (if he has one in this), leaving them all around his palace absolutely confused and questioning what has happened to their emperor. {part two! Part one, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!!}

[starcrossedxwriter]

I’m curious have Els and Michael ever done GQs couple quiz? I was just watching them, and I got to wondering about them. Lol 😂, cause Travis and Kylie’s was an absolute mess, but I loved Teyana Taylor and Iman and of course Nip & LL.

I loveeeeeee GQ's couple's quizzes, they are hilarious. They 100% have done it! And here's my attempt cause in my mind, they give a more relatable and fun Ciara and Russell (if you saw their's?) LOL Thanks, Anon!

***

“Hey this is Michael B. Jordan.”

“And Charlotte Elsbeth Jordan, and we are playing GQ’s Couple Quiz.” 

“You ready?” He asked, his hand resting on her thigh. 

“Born ready, I’ll start.” Charlotte lifted up the questions to make sure he couldn’t see them. Little did GQ know, they had a wager going on who knew the other the best and Charlotte was not about to lose. “Ok, this is a soft ball starter, when’s my birthday and what’s my sign?” 

Michael rolled his eyes, “May 4, which makes you a…” he paused. Charlotte knew he had to think about that one because Michael could care less about Zodiac signs and astrology. “I’m 95% sure that’s a Taurus so I’m gonna go with my gut on that one.” 

“Yea, I’m a Taurus… a textbook one too.” 

“I don’t know what that means, Els.” 

“I’ll explain it to you later. Aight, that’s two points for you cause that was two questions. Oh this’s a good one. What’s my dream travel destination?” 

“The Maldives.” He answered quickly. 

“Yep. You know I’m waiting for you to plan that right?” She asked with the sweetest smile that made Michael want to abandon the interview and take her there right then. “I kinda thought that would be our baby moon but no such luck.” 

Michael chuckled and shook his head. “You know I thought about it?” 

Charlotte's jaw dropped. “So where's my proper baby moon at?? Because I haven't to sink a single toe in the sand of the Maldives." Her tone was one of playful confusion. "Wait til he tells y'all where he took me to instead of the Maldives??"

Michael bowed his head as his shoulders shook with laughter. "It's gonna sound bad in comparison BUT I didn't think it was safe to go that far and her doc didn't agree. So we went to a gorgeous resort in Cabo." He raised his hands in surrender. "You already had my nerves shot for those 9 months, wasn't gonna add to that."

She let out a cackling laugh. “I had your nerves shot and you were getting on mine so glad we didn’t add that stress to it. Cabo was a lot of fun though.” 

“Yea it was. Babymoon #2, Maldives - I promise."

Little did she know, Michael already had it planned for her upcoming birthday.

"Well that means I'm never going, I guess," she mumbled. Michael had routinely been talking her ear off about having another baby, as if two rambunctious twin boys were not more than enough for them. But he desperately wanted a baby girl.

"That's a conversation for later but But don’t worry, Maldives are comin’. I promise.” Charlotte did a little happy dance in her seat. “Aight, next question.” 

“What’s a hobby of mine that most people wouldn’t know?” 

“You love to bake. And my training regime hates it,” he joked. 

“Yes! I would’ve also taken crocheting but I haven’t done that in a while. Oh this one is hard. What was the first musical I performed as a lead in?” 

“Ok I gotta work it backward in my mind.” 

“Actually, I’ll give you a bonus if you answer that one and name all the shows I’ve been the lead in.” 

“Okkkkkk. Most recent was The Lighthouse, got my baby her first Tony, of which I know there’ll be more. Before you left New York, you were the lead in Chicago. Then you were in the company of a couple shows. At Juilliard, you were the lead in Oklahoma, one of the few freshman to get a lead in a spring production,” Charlotte did a mini bow to the camera as she laughed. “But you were the lead in every spring show every year so Oklahoma, Funny Girl, Rent, and Kinky Boots. But your fist lead role was senior year as Cinderella in your high school production.” 

“Damnnnnnn…” They shared a high five. “That deserves hella points cause that’s hard as hell. I’ll give you two for that one. What am I scared of?” 

“Spiders and scary movies. Pretty sure if I ever did a horror movie, that’s the one premiere you wouldn’t go to.”

“Correct, you’d be on your own buddy. Ummm, oh this is a good one, what’s my favorite food? You’ve had this question before though.” 

He laughed. “And I learned that it wasn’t my bolognese - utterly heartbroken by that by the way - but it’s still pizza. All the girl eats is pizza.” 

“Correct. Oh this’s hilarious,” she laughed. “Who is my celebrity crush?” 

“Mannnn..." Michael grunted at the mere premise of the question. "Well, obviously me but I will say you went into a deep fan girl space the time you met Denzel and George Clooney.” 

“I mean every woman watching would revert to their 16 year old fan girl self in the presence of those two. But correct. Denzel is actually a friend now, we have him and Paulette over for dinner a lot so I’ve chilled out significantly. Um who’s my favorite actor?” 

“Me.” 

“He’s a bit conceded,” she joked to the camera. “Bonus point if you get whose number two on that list?” 

“Mahershala Ali.” 

“Good job. But you’re number 1 all day, baby.” 

“Oh I wasn’t worried about that at all.” 

“Ok, last one, what’s my favorite sleeping position?” 

“When I sleep like draped across your chest.” 

Charlotte made a buzzer noise and shook her head. “The question was MY favorite, not yours.” 

“That ain’t your favorite too??” 

“Absolutely not,” she doubled over in laughter at the pure look of offense on his face. “I’m sorry, baby but like when you’re at your Adonis or Killmonger weight, you are hella heavy. My side of the bed is basically also his.”

“It’s been 6 years, why you ain’t say shit?” Michael was genuinely surprised. 

Charlotte shrugged. “Cause you sleep best that way and I like that it makes you happy.” Her tone signaled that she was not simply saying that for the cameras but she actually meant it.

“That’s really sweet, babe. So what’s your favorite?” 

“Umm when we’re traveling and apart, I sleep on my stomach with like one leg half out of the covers… and in the middle of the bed so I can like sprawl out.”

“Noted. Ok how’d I do, baby?” 

“11 points… that was pretty good! Pretty sure I’m not gonna do as good but let’s see.” 

“Aight. Oh ok, how many movies have I been in?” 

Charlotte’s mouth fell open. “Ok that’s not fair! Did you pay someone to write these questions?? That’s hella hard. Um… are we counting the ones where you were just a cameo?” 

“Why not and I’ll give you a bonus if you name the first movie I was lead in?” 

“Ok if we’re counting cameos, I’m 95% sure it’s 20 or 21. And your first lead was Fruitvale Station, though you could make a case for Chronicle but that was more of an ensemble cast so I would go with Fruitvale.” 

“Damn you’re good! I don’t even know the number exactly but 20 sounds right so you get both points.”

Charlotte wiped her hand across her forehead and said “Whew. Cause it wasn’t looking good for me for a sec.” 

“What’s my least favorite food?” 

Charlotte laughed. “You have a visceral, and do mean, visceral hatred for Brussels sprouts.” 

“Correct. Hate them so much. Umm in the similar vein, what’s my ideal cheat meal when I’m training?” 

Charlotte smiled. “Whew, ok you got a lot but I feel like it depends on where we are? Like when we’re in Philly, it’s a cheesesteak, easy. But when we’re in New York, it's pizza from Prince St. and those cookies from that bakery in Lower Manhattan… can’t remember the name. And honestly, when we’re home, you love a huge breakfast spread and anything with carbs. Oh and donuts from that spot in downtown.” 

“Damn Els! You get two points for that. Very spot on. Umm how do you know when I’m mad at you?” 

Charlotte laughed. “Well, we don’t really argue much but when you’re upset it’s fairly easy to tell cause you call me Charlotte, which he literally never does any other time.” 

“Correct. What’s my biggest pet peeve that you do?” 

Charlotte grimaced. “Umm when I don’t take my health or safety seriously… or as serious as you would want me to. That causes like 95% of the rare arguments we do have.” 

“Yep. Oh this one is kinda hard because I don’t think you can ever remember the date. What day did I propose?” 

Charlotte leaned into the arm of her chair. “Oof that is hard. Well the world thinks we got engaged in June around the Tonys cause that’s the first time I wore my ring in public. But fun fact everyone, we got engaged in March. That week was a blur of you know… trauma and near death experiences,” she chuckled, her joke falling flat with her husband. “It’s been six years, we still can’t joke about it??” 

“Nah we can’t.” 

“Well, I’m the one that almost croaked so I feel like I can joke about it a little,” she argued with a smile. “But anywhoooo, you proposed on March 5. Wait, no! March 6 because it was like 2 am the Thursday after the premiere of the show on our balcony in New York. Best night of my life.” 

He leaned forward and kissed her hand and winked at her, causing her to blush. 

“Good job. What do I consider to be our first date?” 

She chuckled. “Ok well we have different opinions on this but you consider our first date to be that steakhouse we went to after filming one night in Philly. But I consider our first date to be our actual first date, that art walk in the summer. I don’t think I ever learned why you think Philly was our first date?” 

Michael merely shrugged nonchalantly. “Cause that night made me fall in love with you. From that date forward, my heart was yours. The art walk was just when you finally caught up,” he winked at her, shaking her knee a bit. 

“You never told me that. Stop saying these sweet things and making me want to cry,” she moaned, wiping away a stray tear. 

“She cries at basically everything,” Michael fake whispered to the camera causing Charlotte to playfully scoff. 

“Next question!” 

“What’s my favorite nickname to call you? Bonus question if you tell me which of the ones you call me is my favorite?” 

“Your favorite to call me is honey bee but you call me Els the most, which I love. And umm I don’t know the second one, everyone in the family calls you Bakari so I doubt that’s it. And baby is so basic? I call you ‘love’ a lot but I don’t know… you tell me.” 

“I really like it when you call me ‘Kari.” 

In her utter confusion, for a moment, Charlotte forgot they were surrounded by cameras. “That can’t be right,” she laughed. “I called you that like once in our entire relationship when we wer-“ she stopped herself mid-sentence as she realized he was teasing her and she was about to put alllllll their business on front street. “I really hate you, you know that right?” 

He actually almost fell out of his seat in laughter as Charlotte shook her head and covered her face with her cards in embarrassment. 

Her mind floated back to once years ago when Michael made her squirt for the first time. He had been fucking her so hard and for so long she could barely formulate thoughts, let alone sentences. And as he demanded she scream his name over and over again, she shortened it to Kari out of pure necessity because she could barely say more than a syllable at a time. He teased her relentlessly afterward. 

“Impossible.” He winked at her. “Ok let’s get this back on track. Who’s my favorite athlete?” 

“Forever and always , Kobe.” 

“Right. What’s my favorite thing to cook?” 

“Bolognese… and you got good at some other homemade pasta sauces like pesto during the pandemic that you still like to do.” 

“Right. Aight, last one, oh this is a good one, what has been my favorite role and movie I’ve played in my career?” 

Charlotte mused for a moment. “Oof that is actually hard. I mean the easy answer is Adonis because you’ve spent the longest with him and I think you’ve valued watching your own career and who you are growing and evolving along with him? And you know, you got me outta that deal which is pretty great.” She joked. “But I think Killmonger and Black Panther will always hold a special place in your heart. Not just because of Chad but because that role was a stretch in terms of who he was and the darkness in him. He challenged you in a lot of new ways as an actor, I think And because of the cultural significance of that movie and the bond it created with Ryan and the entire cast. I’ve never seen you or quite frankly any cast with as close of a bond with each other as you all do. I mean I’ve watched you do 100 press tours and that was the first one you were genuinely sad to have end. And you know, while I would love to see Killmonger back, I think even if you never get the chance to pick that character up again, I think the experience of that character will stick with you forever.” 

She rubbed his arm gently as she spoke. 

“Yea you get a point for that. Not sure which of those I would choose either but the reasoning for both is super spot on. I think that’s, you know, what I value most about those two roles and projects specifically. Those are definitely the top two. Good job, baby girl. “That’s it! Who won??” Michael immediately inquired of the producer behind the camera. 

“You actually tied so you both win.” 

They leaned in and kissed each other. “Good job, baby. I guess we both have to pay up.” 

“Fine by me,” Charlotte winked at him. 

“Wanna tell us what you all wagered?” the producer asked. 

The couple laughed and shook their heads. “Nope, nice try though.”  

Michael winked at his wife before the producer yelled cut.

***

Thanks for the ask!! I love these so much lol

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Aight now hear me out- (And I at least just want Jervis Tetch)

Gotham Villains x Reader

Okay idk if you know what the Widgetable app is- but it’s basically an app where you and your partner(or friend) can take care of a baby animal. You gotta feed it, bathe, etc. I would just love to see reader going this with their Gotham villain lover plz LOLOL

Never heard of it but I'm gonna have a lot of fun with this prompt. 😂 AHAAA! FINALLY! CONTENT! FS! I FINALLY COMPLETED SOMETHING!

Request: Feed the Baby.

'FEED CHEDDAR.' The text rolled in. Then another. 'DONT IGNORE ME. FEED CHEDDAR.' Then another. 'YOUR SILENCE BETTER BE BECAUSE YOURE BEING A GREAT DAD TO CHEDDAR.' A few seconds and another text. 'As if I trust you to feed our sweet baby boy on your own. I'm calling if you don't answer in five seconds.' Four seconds passed and the phone began to ring.

Scarecrow: Jonathan had been working in his office working on his patient files when the call came through, and he sighed, exhaling harshly through his nose before answering. "What do you want?" He asked. "Are you joking? What do you mean what I what!? For you to feed our son!" You exclaimed. "(Y/N), I'm working, and you're calling me about a game. A cluster of pixels?" Jonathan gritted out. "Don't call him that! I have him a bath, I entertained him! The least you can do is feed him! I'm not a single parent!" You exclaimed. "Let's not get into that again." He gritted out again through his teeth. "Jonathan." Sarah's tone changed, challenging him. "Fine." He said with a false pleasantness. He exhaled harshly through his nose again, minimising the call to open the app and spammed the feeding mechanic. "Done. Happy now? The thing is fed." Jonathan existed the app and put the phone back to his ear. "Much better." "I told you, I wouldn't do this with you dear." Jonathan said coldly. "And I told you that you didn't have a choice." You countered. "I'm hanging up." Jonathan said. "Oh fine." You hung up. Jonathan exhaled and put down the phone. A twinge of spite hit him and he scowled at his phone that you hung up on him before he could hang up. He would have at least said goodbye.

Mad Hatter: Jervis answered the phone but shrieked. "I'm trying!" He cried out. That was unexpected even for Jervis, enough to make someone worry. "Well...its not that har- Jervis, why do you sound so panicked? What's wrong?" "Nothing! Im feeding the cheddar like you said! Or im trying to!" Jervis said hurriedly. "Well, did you find it okay?" Jervis often got confused by his own phone, more often than not, forgetting that he had one. Nevermind how to use it. Jervis retorted. "Yes, I'm looking at it in the fridge right now! How do I feed it!?" For a second you thought he was saying he tried to feed the fridge. More confusion stuck. "Wait...what? The fridge? What does the fridge have to do with anythi- Jervis. Where are you right now?" He was quick to reply but didn't sound so hysterical. "In the kitchen! In front of the fridge, my love!" There was silence. "Right...?" "You told me to feed the cheddar! I'm asking how you want me to feed cheese!?" He said. "Jer...Jervis...not the literally cheddar cheese in the fridge. I mean the app. You know the little pet thing we have on our phones? You gave it attention last night?" "Ah yes, that little fellow!" Jervis giggled to himself. "Feed that. We named it Cheddar." Sometimes he really did put the mad in Mad Hatter.

The Riddler: "No, I'm busy!" He huffed to himself as he heard the phone ring once, twice, three times, four times, five- "(Y/N), im in the middle of my latest creation yet that will bring the dark Knight to his knees! What could you possibly want!?" "Feed Cheddar." You said blankly. "...not this again." Edward grumbled. "Now, now, youre a dad now, of course our baby needs to be fed repeatedly." You responded. "You put thay thing on my phone!? I told you no!" He exclaimed. "All i heard banging, clanking and then a 'okay?' And decided to interpret that into my favour." You said flatly. "When!? When did you put that brain cell killing muck on my phone!?" "When you were asleep." "You de-" He sighed. "This...no, this is my fault. It's my fault for falling asleep and leaving my phone in the open! Rookie mistake! No one with a partner would dare!" "You also made your pass code my name backwards." You added. "I have to make it obvious enough for you in case of emergencies...obviously! Idiot!" "So suffer and do your solemn duty." You replied. "will you stop pestering me if I do this for you?" "Absolutely I will." He sighed and hung up but complied by going into the app immediately.

Two-Face: "if they call, im gonna lose my shit, harvey." Harv' said. Then the phone began to buzz. "Harvey. Harvey. Harvey." Harv, gritted out his fists clenching and Harvey groaned out. "(Y/N), im busy." "Feed Cheddar and that'll be one less thing to do." You retorted. "I'm gonna lose my fuckin' shit." Harv' muttered. "oh come on, it's like sharing a tamagochi." You replied. "We fuckin' hated tamagochis and we were teenagers when those even came out. The little bitches died no matter how well you looked after them!" Harv' argued. "If my sweet baby boy Cheddar starved because of you, ill hold it against you two forever." "We told you not to add us to your shit!" Harv' huffed as Harvey went onto the app. "Since when have I ever listened to either of you!?" You exclaimed. "I'm never letting you near my phone again." Harvey murmured. "But you'll do it?" You pressed. Suddenly only Harv' could be heard. "Don't you dare, Harvey. They can't have us whipped like this! H-hey! Harvey! Get that shit off our screen! You're actually feeding it!? You're pathetic!"

Penguin: He stopped counting mid-stack of money to answer the phone. "Sweetheart, I'm working. Can't this wait?" "It's your turn to feed him! Come on! It'll take two seconds!" You whined. "It's not like you've told me I couldn't remind you when you're not here!" Oswald found that a little annoying but also cute. "I didn't think I'd have to ask that I wasn't bombarded with this whilst in the lounge. I'm workin', baby." He sighed. "Please? Come on, this is fun! Play along?" You pleaded. Oswald sighed again. "Alright, alright. Fine, just relax, baby. After a lot of talking him through where to find the app on his own phone, he found it. "It's a penguin." He said. "Yes, that's cheddar." You replied. "Why did you name a penguin cheddar?" "It's a reference, you won't get it." You dismissed the question. "Why won't I get it? You callin' me old, sweetheart?" Oswald's tone suggested he was half joking and also possibly offended before you even confirmed or denied anything. "It's not your thing, don't worry about it." You assured him. "Whatever, so what do I do with this?" He asked. "Feed him." "How?" He pressed. You sighed but talked him through that. After a while, he spoke again. "Alright...done." There was a long pause. "That it? All that fuss for that?" You couldn't help but smile. "You bet. This is our baby." "Hmm..." He couldn't decide if he was pleased with that or not. "Imma get back to work, sweetheart."

[codename-adler]

YOUR TROJAN TEAM?!?!?! flabbergasted. sooooo many lil guys u got there!!!

mayhaps some info on #21, Levi Romanov? love the name, very intriguing <3 or any of your choice, really, whichever you feel like sharing the most!!

oh boy. oh god. Levi's such a big file. u really know how to pick 'em Roo 😂 prepare to be sick of me...... (also ty sm for being chatty n enabling <3) //official unofficial USC Trojans OCs list here//

21: Levi Romanov (22) USC Trojans Backliner

[ face subject to change]

aight let's bullet point this:

born in USA (Alaska); child of immigrants (Belarusian father (born Alaska, parents 1st gen immigrant), Dutch mother (1st gen immigrant))

5'6½" (the half inch is important)(to Levi)(not the Trojans tho)(esp. not Jeremy)

BA: Communication (USC Annenberg)

goes Pro after college

bffs: Nikita & Angie

brother-from-another-mother w/ Nikita Bailey (their mothers are bff, grew up together in Alaska); Nikita is his bff/older brother figure/idol so he joins him in playing Exy (v popular in Alaska) and follows him to USC when he graduates HS

now for the love & tragedy chaos...................

both he and Nikita have a steady relationship with their longtime girlfriends, so much so that Levi talks to Nikita about proposing to his gf after graduation

one day though the 4 of them get into a car/boating accident that kills Levi's girlfriend and seriously injures Nikita's; Levi and Nikita are somehow miraculously the least damaged

it's a rough fucking patch for Levi (and Nikita, but that's a story for another day!)

enter Angie Pullman, Trojans recruit (ask!!! me!!!)

both men are immediately drawn to her, and inevitably it ends up in a big fight that creates a (temporary) rift between Levi and Nikita

luckily it ends up being an Adam/Gansey/Blue/Ronan situation (do you see where i'm going with this?)

because the thing is, there's this guy, Anderson [subject to change] Atwell

the assistant coach

ohohoho yes

Anderson’s really been there for Levi after the accident, bc he's been much more of a confidant to Levi than any of the team's therapists, probably because he's not a therapist; and then the shit with Angie and Nikita really isolates Levi, and slowly Anderson can't help but wanting to help Levi as much as he can, more than assistant coaches probably normally feel...

so Levi's not as straight as he thought, not in love with Angie like that like he thought, much more in love with Nikita than he always thought, and definitely, definitely super hard in love with his assistant coach (you see the Adam/Blue/Gansey/Ronan pattern?) (except there is nothing whatsoever between Nikita and Anderson. in fact Nikita probably hates him a little bit actually. fr fr.)

also before anyone sends me anon hate about my own OCs, the Levi-Anderson age gap is 22-30, so calm downnnn

so yeah Levi & Anderson, once they're all in and go all out, are disgustingly happy; but the hurdles are many and exhausting (i have another ask incoming for Coach Rhemann, which will coincidentally explain really well said obstacles)

i would say, apart from Jean Moreau himself obv and Adèle Moreau, Levi is the most tragic Trojan :(

especially because he used to be such a goofy ass mf, and so hyped about Exy on and off the court, before the accident, and nowadays he's much more a shell of himself, doesn't care much about Exy outside the court, always plays his very best but his heart's not into it, feels disconnected from his team and teammates, etc.

Anderson's the one to lead him back to his love for the sport <3

Jeremy did try very hard as his captain to reignite the flame inside Levi, of course, but let's say he had a little less incentive than with the Frenchman... if ya know what i mean... but Levi's just glad even his captain never gave up on him

birthday's June 1st //lmao beginning of pride month and i didn't even do that on purpose//

originally Levi was named Reuben Muller and he was German-American? but i decided to split the character in 2 and thus Levi & Nikita were born!

his bestfriend, apart from Nikita who has known since birth almost, is Jack Driver; they hit it off instantly the first time they practice together on the court (it also helps that Jack is both a moron and a wise man. very in touch with his feelings. it just depends if his brain cells are activated or taking a nap…)

once the drama settles down Angie also becomes one of his close friends

he’s an only child [pitiful]

did i mention his ADHD? oh he has big big big ADHD… he often forgets his meds, and he’s prone to lash out (mostly at himself) or zone out, but Exy really helps a lot with both his bottomless restless energy and his self-worth <3

on the meds thing: that was such a battle. for everyone involved. Levi, the doctors, his gf, his parents, Nikita... it was just barely starting to go well when the accident happened, and well. the step from ADHD to depression is already so small, Levi had no chance. but he's climbing up the hill again now :)

so Levi's kind of the dark version of Jeremy, or like a past younger iteration of Jeremy before he got to be the Captain Sunshine we know and love (and that's partly why Jeremy has trouble connecting w him, befriend him, even look at him sometimes); he doesn't talk much anymore, except to fight and curse, but then he turns around and drops by with a pan of brownies for the new girl because he saw her eating one all alone and sad in the athletes' hall, you know? he's very hard to pin down, even more so now that the constants in his life have been taken away or flipped :/ but he's a precious dude, trust me!

[lokiina]

WIP whenever~

So I know I got tagged a bit ago by @pinkyjulien and recently by @cybersteal (there may have been a few more I missed dfkjghdfg)

AIGHT. It's not super informative cuz I been working too much, trying to move and had to travel recently for a funeral. So brain's been a moving a lil slow and needs a break... BUT:

Mods:

I have a billion things on the go at any given time. It's like, questionable on when some will get finished. But I do have a silly Prop coming soon. So be on the look out for that. No preview or hints cuz it's intended to be a surprise. But I've been giggling a lot at it in the background.

Writing:

I'm a horrendously slow writer and I work in lil bursts but I've been working a bit more on adding to my lil blip I've thrown together on ao3 for Zayn and Dino. So maybe a lil chapter 3 will be up soon.

As poor lil demisexual Zayn has started to malfunction not knowing what to do with sudden feels he doesn't usually experience. Zayn.exe has stopped responding 👀 But also possibly featuring a very pissed off Dino too.

Art:

I've been def trying to do a lil more art as well, even if it means doing things really really slow in the background. I keep pondering the possibility of offering some form of commission maybe with my lil cartoony style like this cuz I'm pretty good at plopping those things out at a decent pace if I don't try to overkill details. 😂

I wanna be able to get myself a good gaming chair for the new place so I can have something better for me than a shitty kitchen chair and flattened cushion. So the money would probs go to that if I do.

tagging; I haven't been on here enough to see who's done shit recently so if you already did pls ignore. Also never any pressure anyway. @dreamskug, @arcandoria, @lucky38-2077, @chooh2, @a-pirate, @sammysilverdyne Also whom ever else might wanna take part, you can consider this a tag. 😘

[blackmagictrait]

""""robin hood"""" all you do is reupload cc someone ELSE already uploaded to another site.

girl what?? 😂😂 where did I call myself "robin hood"...? lmao huh

anyway baby I been saying ad nauseum since the START I'm just a middleman and y'all could be doing this yourself if you wanted. why did you think I link every single source I've ever used in my pinned post? like.....yeah, that is what I do, I'm the one who told YOU that's what I do lmao.

idk the reason why people don't want to use the sites I link. some people just won't trust rebels and won't sign up for dhm despite me singing their praises. (fr they're the best, I love them and everyone should use them<3) I deadass just answer people's asks. like that's all I do lol. idk their situations but they want some cc and like, yeah aight, I can do that for you if you need it. not much more to it than that. 🤷🏾‍♀️ as I've said again...and again....and again.....I'm just a middleman but I'll help ya out if you ask me to.

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Profile Me Up! (short fic)

I couldn't stop laughing while writing this fsdjnfsjdfdj It's short and sweet, but only because I didn't want to overdo it 😂

Written for the February "All 4-1 Challenge"!! Tagging @turtle-babe83 and @thelaundrybitch for visibility :) Splinter asks Mikey to help him set up a dating profile, just for the shits and giggles. But they also need Donnie for technical help....

"Oh you've got to be kidding me...."

Donnie said those words while turning around in his chair, now facing his younger brother, Mikey, and their father, master Splinter. The bespectacled terrapin's traits were ones of concern, slightly frowning, while the two others were dead serious.

"What?! Come on, it'll be fun!" replied the orange clad one. "We need your help setting up the profile."

"Dad, please, tell me Mikey didn't force you to this idea," discarded Donatello, his gaze focused on the rat.

The rodent's ears perked up a bit, his expression soft as he simply answered:

"Oh no, it is my idea in fact."

Donnie's expression fell into a deadpan look, a long exhale leaving his nostrils as he slowly swiveled back towards his computer's screens.

"Aight, just tell me which website to go to. jesus fucking christ."

Michelangelo was already rushing to his brother's chair, gripping the back of it and shaking it in slight excitement.

"Tinder!"

"Fuck no!"

"Language," warned Splinter.

Donnie tsked, expertly and quickly slapping one of Mikey's hands away from his chair without giving the action a look. Now how the heck could he find the perfect... dating site for his father?

"You do realize that you won't be able to put an actual photo of yourself, right?" he asked, still typing, while giving a quick glance at his father standing nearby.

"I do have an idea in mind, don't worry."

Oh now Donnie was starting to feel suspicious. After some quick searches (and questionable suggestions from Mikey), the trio did find a somewhat okay website that was targeted to a reasonably normal audience. The purple banded mutant clicked the "Sign Up" option with a sigh, then vaguely gesturing his screen.

"The floor is yours, MC Mikey," he said in a neutral tone.

The younger one was now slapping his brother's shoulder, urging him to give away his seat so he could sit down and get to work. As Donnie moved, Mikey asked him to get a stool for Splinter to sit on next to him. The tall terrapin could only comply, next standing close and watching this weird life event occur...

"Name?" asked Mikey.

The rat shrugged: "Splinter?"

"Short and straight to the point. Love it," added the orange one, typing. "What about your hobbies?" he continued.

"Meditating. Attending to my bonsais. Reading."

"This is getting nowhere," mumbled Donnie, pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

Mikey seemed to be typing more than what he was told, always humming in approval to his father's words.

"Occupation?" ask the younger terrapin.

Splinter's features seemed to light up as he smiled: "A martial arts teacher!"

"Damn, you're the perfect man," commented Mikey, amused. "A dreamboat!"

"I am quite the catch indeed," added the rat in a similar tone.

Donnie was trying not to laugh.

"What do you look for in a partner?"

Oh now the tall mutant was apprehending that answer...

"... To be patient, kind, and with a good sense of humor," started the rat after some quick thinking. "Oh and bonus point if they smell like cheese," he added playfully.

That made Mikey laugh as he typed, soon joined by Donnie's muffled chortle.

"Anything special to add?" asked the young terrapin, still smiling.

The rodent did ponder for a moment, his ears shifting slightly with his thoughts.

"If they don't mind hair, being a bit adventurous in their travels, and are more of a night person, then they can - as you youngsters say - hit me up."

Oh this time Donnie let out a loud snort.

"A true modern man," commented Mikey. "Gettin' hip with the crowd and using the right lingo. I'm so fuckin' proud."

"Language," repeated Splinter.

"My b, my b," quickly apologized the young one.

And now came the question of what to use as a profile picture. Without hesitation, Splinter asked for Donatello's phone (which immediately confused the terrapin). Requesting a web browser to be opened, the rat then snatched the device and started to type into a search bar, patiently scrolling until finding the right choice.

"Let's use this," he said, now showing the phone's screen to his sons, revealing this picture:

Both turtles lost it, the rodent smiling at the reaction.

"Please, tell me all of this is a joke," asked Donnie, trying to calm his laughter.

"Oh, absolutely," answered Splinter. "But I'm still curious to see if anyone would answer to this profile!"

"Fuck, you're the best," giggled Mikey.

"Language. And don't make me say it another time or it's straight to the hashi. Both of you."

"I'd still take the hashi over any spicy responses you may ever receive on this," commented the purple clad mutant with a chuckle.

"Let's get wild on this ride!" said the young one, uploading the picture and finalizing the account's creation.

The clock was now ticking.

[vendetta-if]

I love your writing! I just discovered your story, but Vendetta is now my favorite interactive fiction, tied with A Mage Reborn. I cried so hard when Viktor died even though it's literally mentioned in the summary!

Question: how would Grampa, Uncle, Ash, Takashi, and Rin react to an MC who runs away like Viktor did? Like maybe MC realized what the 20th birthday party was going to be about and they were like, "aight, I'mma head out" and just no-showed the party. Then when everyone got back, MC was nowhere to be found.

And maybe for the other characters, how would they react if MC just became a civilian? (Since they were not at the party.)

Also, if someone already asked this, my bad. I tried looking for it, but if I missed it, I'm really sorry. >_<

Aww 🥰 Thank you for the kind words! ❤️

As for the scenario you asked about… Grandpa, Luka, and Ash will absolutely panic, like super panic. While Takashi and Rin would be worried. For Grandpa, Luka, and Takashi, it would almost be like a déjà vu with what Viktor did decades ago.

Their very first thought will be that the person who killed Viktor has finally gotten ahold of MC. Or if not them, then it’ll be the rival groups. So those will be where they strike first.

The next few weeks, they will all be busy searching every nook and cranny of the city. They would be willing to tear it down if necessary if it means finding MC and bringing them to safety. Takashi and Rin would be helping and lending support, mainly through their information gathering and their own web of connections.

They would not only use their underground connections, but also those in the ECPD, most likely by having them ask other police departments in other cities to be on a lookout for MC.

But once they find (and Grandpa, Luka, and Ash will or die trying 😭) MC trying to live as a civilian, they would be angry but also relieved. “MC, you idiot! Why did you not just have a talk with us about it?”

And truly, if MC was adamant on their decision to not be the heir, then Grandpa and Luka would not force them anymore. They would not want a repeat of what happened with Viktor.

If your MC wants to be a civilian, they would really want MC to stay as near as them, preferably in one city, to make sure they’ll still be able to protect MC in case something is going to happen. After all, MC will always be someone really important and loved by Grandpa, Luka, and Ash, which means they have a target on their back at all times.

The only reason MC can actually live peacefully right now is because almost all of those in Elysium City’s (and New York’s) underground world are afraid and wary of MC’s family’s reputation. To poke the sleeping bear (well, targeting MC would be like slapping the said bear, not poke 😂) would be suicidal. Just ask the Police Commissioner.

[monards]

Alsjtbsjbt thank you!!! I'm putting the paragraph in ask format so its easier for you to see. Mostly what I need is just whether it gets an emotional reaction, although if you do find spelling or punctuation mistakes lmk😂 its from an Albether oneshot I've been writing and it is an au so a little dialogue at the start might not make sense now but it will in context. In advance I am sorry if this makes you cry 😅 aight here we go

--------------

“All right,” Albedo said, placing his tools on a nearby rock, “let’s suppose I’m not dreaming. Why are you here? I never made a prayer, or… summoned you.” At this, Aether’s face dropped from a smile to sadness. He took Albedo’s hands in his, gazing into his eyes.

“Because you’re lonely. You’re so, so, lonely and it’s so hard to watch so the moment you thought about it I just couldn't help it. You’re surrounded by people just like you, and yet you’re so deep in your anxiety about being different that you’ve pushed everyone away.” Aether’s voice broke, eyes brimming with tears. “I know you’re not very good at socialising, I don’t blame you for that, but you don’t need to isolate yourself because of it. Not being human isn’t something to be ashamed of, and even if it were there’s hardly a difference between you and a normal human anyway. How you were born makes no difference and it’s no reason to isolate yourself so much. And I know that I have no right to say this, no right to just waltz into your life and tell you how to live, but I cannot see you look at your city, your home, and cry yourself to sleep on a desolate mountain. Not anymore.” Aether was crying now, tears spilling off his cheeks and falling on Albedo’s hands as the star’s voice broke into a whisper. “Please.”

thespian I’m actually under the impression you personally find pleasure in my tears.

I HADD TO PACE MY ROOM THREE TIMES. THREE TIMES TO COPE WITH THIS.

The dialogue is actually writtten just so beautifully I took a bit to think about how I should respond. But I’m here now and oh boy did this make me emotional

The “Because you’re lonely. You’re so, so, lonely and it’s so hard to watch so the moment you thought about it I just couldn't help it. “ line KILLED ME. KNIFE PLUNGED IN MY HEART, TWISTED AND THENN RIPPED OUT. DEARRR GODDDD

the way it’s not an explicitly negative sad I’m feeling too??? It’s like a hopeful-sad?? Does that even exist??? I don’t know??? All I know is that reading this MAKES me want to see them happy. Desperately. So desperately in fact I’m now gonna be stuck thinking about this for the next three hours. And longer, probably.

I think the thing that made it so much worse was the added please at the end. It’s separated from everything else and I think that’s what’s killing me; it’s a genuine plea and THAT is gonna kill me.

You did so well at encapsulating a like. Not explicitly sad-sad mood,, but like such a hopeful and thoughtful one?? Like it’s so unique and sweet and my GOD is it gonna kill me.

Thespian you are genuinelly so amazing but if you continue this trend of making me emotional; I don’t think I can take it anymore.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ree Saw Her Husband Jack Harlow and possibly signed an NDA 🤭

Aight so boom!

My outfit was inspired by Urban but yall probably won't see it but just know a bitch was looking good as fuck 😌😘

Me and my middle sister Shantai get there at The Anthem and the line is long as SHIT to get in so I was like fuck outta here imma sit my ass down

But before that when we were in my car about to park in the garage, I saw the back of Urban outside.

I'd recognize that head of curls anywhere.

He dodged me the rest of the night 🙄

Okay back to where I was

Yall why she take me to this bougie ass French restaurant and she ordered some fucking liver mousse 🤢🤮

I was up in that bitch eating bread to absorb the alcohol I was consuming lmaoooo

Aight so it's 7:25 when we go in and I hit the merch stand for the first time (I went back after the show 😭) and I am in fucking shambles because I basically want one of everything but I was a responsible adult! I only spent 235 in total in merch but we'll get to that part

I think I did good

I wanted more

I woulda bought the man himself if I could

We find our seats and it's nothing but black girls in my row

FUCKING YES IT'S ABOUT TO BE LIT

BLACK GIRL MAGIC ON DECK

Okay The Homies came out and I lost it when they did Shake because uh my ass was definitely shaking lmaooo

The City Girls were AMAZING

I wanna ride Jackman like a rodeo

Anywayyyyyy

Shantai went fucking wild during their set

I mean the bitch's curls fell out

She was sweating

Twerking on the railing of the balcony lol

I know my limits

I was like nahhh I'm saving my energy for my husband

Her ass was done when it was time for Jack

YALLLLLLLLL

I THOUGHT I WAS ABOUT TO FALL OUT ON THE SPOT WHEN HE HIT THE STAGE 😭😭

This was my first time seeing him AND A BITCH WAS IN SHAMBLES

I was like OKAY GLASSES!

You better go head white boy!

Okay soooo the people in my section uhh..

I feel as though they only knew First Class and What's Poppin because when I tell yall my fucking ass knew EVERY LYRIC

Jack was like where my day ones at? Who was fucking with me before the beard?

I yelled for him to bring back the pornstache and I yelled Confetti and Loose supremacy 😂🤣

BITCHHHHH

WHEN I HEARD SUNDOWN AND GHOST I WAS LIKE JACKMAN GIMME THE MIC! WE BOTH ABOUT TO DO THIS SHIT.

Okay and we're vibing right?

The people in GA down below were throwing drinks, fighting, fainting and people getting kicked out.

I was like whew chile the GHETTO

Jack has the voice of an angel 😇

Oh and apparently someone fell over the barricade? But I didn't see it

Ummm when Jack asked 'where are all my nurses at?' Before he went into 21C/Delta, my entire row pointed at me lmaooo 😭😭😭

Jack was like he might move to d.c. to take a stroll and look at the cherry blossoms.

Bitch, that sounded like a marriage proposal to Ree, okay?

We can take a stroll alright 😏🤭

Okay um, live band?

YESSSSSSS

LIKE A BLADE OF GRASS WANTS SUNLIGHT, I JUST WANT THAT ASS

Top tier

And he gonna fuck the earrings off of me because my hoops were big as shit lmao

POISON WAS WRITTEN FOR ME!

Ummm him and that damn hose lol

He gonna ask a girl if she's hot and proceeded to spray THE FUCK outta her lmaoooo

If a concert consisted of me listening to Jack talk for hours, sign a bitch up

I feel like I'm missing so many details but...

Bottom line is I had so much fun and I can't wait to see him again!

He deserves all of the success coming his way 🥺

And.... ya girl just might have signed an NDA 🤭😏

Probably one of the only videos where I'm not screaming and I'll upload it later

OHH and a bitch just about lost her voice 😭😭

I got like 5 shirts, hoodie, and a tote bag

It's aight

I get paid Friday anyway lmaoooo

Jack is worth it 🥰

[leothil]

the multi shipping argument is so funny to me because not only is it tired and dumb as hell, have you considered the characters involved here are not even fun to multiship with 😂 like i have watched buck be in five different romantic relationships already and i'm bored lol 😂 but i guess that just makes me dumb and unenlightened or whatever

I mean I do get why it was going around at one point, when a lot of blogs were getting angry anon messages calling them traitors for starting to ship something else. And for that I wholeheartedly agree with the points that were being made! But multishipping isn't some big moral high ground or something to hold over the heads of monoshippers (and vice versa), and it's when it started getting talked of like that that I was like aight, I'm out lmao. Your point is also very valid hahaha, let that man just vibe for a while or something 😂

[twofortea]

11 and 24 for the writing ask!

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

I don't have anything specific but I like to try to listen to music that fits the mood. I often end up searching Spotify to see if there are any good playlists out there. I'm pretty basic about it though haha like I'll just search "sad romance" or "friends to lovers" and see what I get.

24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).

Making me work for it huh 😂 aight here we go. This is for a fic I planned to finish last winter (you can see how that worked out :'))

Thank you for the asks!!

[sadasspisces]

Aight, I'd prefer the cuddles but if you need a punching bag, let's go, get it all out, c'mon, I'm here for you.

you know how bad i been wanting a punching bag 😭 not a human though but i like the gesture 😂

[system-of-a-feather]

Yeah forget fusing so I have more things to work on I'm gonna eat one of the csa parts I'm in charge of keeping safe just so I can also have a right to the front when the brain just wants to sit on it all day god /hj

Shitposts aside, its really odd realizing just how disconnected I am from it cause Riku keeps getting stuck near the front due to it being processing time, that to the point even gym time can be hard for me to win out without musical positive triggers or settling for co-fronting by letting them have music while I get the rest of everything and all

And usually in these situations I'd just drop on by and be like aight, Ill sit at the trauma campfire and stew with you cause I can carry some of that processing, but genuinely - at the level they are processing things at - I am actually struggling to really get on the same wavelength which is a weird experience cause usually its easy

Like, I think I'm feeling a little bit like an ANP for once in my life as an alter and its weird shit. What do you mean I can't connect my brain to a trauma source properly without siphoning it from one of the parts I support.

Fucking weird man.

But shit aside, I'm not gonna drag those parts out cause 1) thats fucked and 2) at this rate theyll pop up on their own and we can play it from there.

But man, now that they've gotten to a more specific area in it and I resolved a lot of my sexual issues stemming fro. dysphoria I'm just like 😂 Shit man I cant super clearly emotionally understand what is going on there; still enough that I can red light green light them and monitor if they're genuinely stagnating or pushing too hard but like damn