#aka I always feel super bad about having so many rambly tags

[thescribeoflostmemories]

Yan!Pantalone with fem childhood friend reader-

Sooooo this is actually my fave for me to write ( except that I write a lot of possibilities in the future with this but here goes one of my many thoughts)

What if, reader was there with Pantalone during their hard time as the 'mature figure' aka sister despite yourself in need of mature figure too. Taking care of him, always giving him the better options in food or clothes. Pantalone would remember how you'd always wrapped him with the blankets despite how you trembled from the weather (aight lets see what you got for us in the future after all the bs we've done for you snitch) But good times (not so good but) don't last long right? Especially with reader being famous for her bad lucks and stuffs. Basically, reader was trafficked, leaving Pantalone all alone. Reader knew they were in danger and just a day before this happened, reader shoo Pantalone away, asking him to look for a flower for her (which is super random, idk if he's willing or not, honestly up to you but he still did it anyway). Imagine the horror returning to his 'home' only find a blood trails that ended in the middle of the road. You were nowhere to be seen at all.

Time skip and here's one of the possibilities i really want to see you write it out QwQ

So what if Pantalone was striking a deal with a dude at a beauty house, one that could only be entered by the upper class people. Pantalone hated being there, he just hated how it made him look 'nasty' and he for sure didn't want you to see him like this (lol sike) Just when they were conversing with each other, you came to them, offering them drinks. Pantalone was about to shoo you away again like how he did to others but hell he didn't know how to feel about meeting you in a beauty house.

Obviously he's all sparked in joy to be able to see you again after years of searching for you but he's also internally panicking about his image now. Would you still acknowledge him after this? (Yup, overthinking at its finest but i'd like to pinpoint this as the main problem in his head)

So yada yada yada (up to you) at first reader had a hard time remembering him but after lots of thing and the mention of flower, reader remembered about him.

Soooo,it's a happy ending now right? *yeets* nope we wrote the yan tag for reasons

What happened to you? Oh he's punished people he suspected to be your captors, even the innocents are not safe from his overthinking (idk wht but u get it).

What about the people in the beauty house? Who touched you intimately? Oh how there'd be lots of people missing and dying in a short period of time after all of this.

Not even the people who watched you dance are free from his 'punishments'. Not dead but still, 'punished'.

Oh? The beauty house owner didn't want to 'sell' you to him? Fine he could do it the hard way. What happened to the beauty house? Its business slowly dropped down. Still holding tightly to you? Fine have this blow, a fire burnt down half of the beauty house. He was careful not to burn the area around your room, making sure you'd be able to run away just in time from the fire.

Right, what? The owner still held you tightly as one of his source of income? Fine, bye bye then. Tbh he had a love and hate relationship to its owner, on one hand he knew the owner took good care of everyone, protecting them from all those shady men and ensuring you're still alive up until for him to meet you. But why would he let you work not only as a dancer but also a 'bed warmer'? He didn't care the fact that it's your own willingness.

Either way, he didn't feel any guilt at all. He tried to end things peacefully but it just so happened that the man thought of him as a shady man. What a shame.

Welp, what matter now is that you're here with him now! Althoughhh that didn't mean his overthinking traits ended already. Welp, idk what happened next

Thank you for listening to my long ass ramblings too

*peaces out*

yandere! Pantalone x Childhood friend! AE! Reader

Usual tags, except this one has uh potential gore(?), sexual themes(ain't a yandere without a bit of it), power harassment, drug use, Minors do NOT interact. (Ps, tell me what tags I'm missing) yo this is 3.3 k worth of words.

@youyue

A Durak's little miss fortune

"Oh bubbles, what have you done? Opening a very interesting plot like that and almost little to no restrictions? I live for it. I hope you aren't too concerned about what fate has for this little flower. " - Scribe

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Shadows lengthen, dim streets darken. To most people crept back under their sheets, yet here he is. The man with the very definition of wealth weighed in his name. Sat on a chair of their booked room in the 'beauty house', honestly speaking; he could care less about the establishment that fattens decadence at the lap of luxury. But with his imperial image on the line, or someone's head will roll.

Avoiding eye contact with the wretched woman on stage of the velvet room, body bending and twirling in odd angles, giving an eyeful of imagination to her viewers. As if it is no big deal for her being gawked at.

"Yes, that is our proposition for you, Lord Harbinger Pantalone." Said the rotundan before looking over to the service lady dressed in rather obscene clothing.

"Thirsty, my good sirs?" The 9th Harbinger huffed, waving his hand at the girl attending them.

"How many times do we have to tell you, we don't need-...any… thing…" With an irked voice slightly raised. Stopped midway once he saw the placid woman before him, offering beverages on a stainless steel tray.

"Understood, good sirs. I shall notify my other sisters at once." The once gentle and loving look he misses so much now turned stone cold, bowing before being dismissed. So many questions raced in his mind, why are you here? How? For how long? Wait you're here, you must be disgusted at why he's here instead of finding you.

Pantalone was about to call out to apologise but he's in a meeting and you already disappeared in the sea of people. Sadness stung in his iced heart, yet he dared not show it. Especially when this fatso is in front of him.

"Fancy her, Lord Harbinger?" The well off man asked, curiously. "Can't blame you, Lord Harbinger. Everyone calls her Fortune, she usually sings and dances on stage around the weekends." Oh, he knows what this gross pig wants. Getting on his good side to make the deal a lot easier, unfortunately for him. It merely soured his mood, no one should talk like that to an angel like you. And he means NO ONE.

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Next thing he knew, he's at home. Thrashing some of the documents all the clues about his missing half, you. His seething rage would not go unnoticed as he thought of all the sickening situations that they have done to you to make you so submissive bending to the whims of those lowly men. Of how many times you've cried to have someone save you in your predicament, scared and alone.

That last memory he has of that consequential moment into his mind. The pile of rubble that is their home, made from bits and bobs that they happen to come across. Makeshift door broken, an undeniable red stain leading nowhere, followed by claw marks against the dirt and snow. It still haunts him, the day his only warmth in this cruel world is taken away so easily. If he hadn't gone to take that flower instead you would have been at his side… Then again, because of that flower he was able to be acquainted with people, make connections. Almost like you gave him your remaining luck.

"My lord, we have a copy of Orlestine's account book!" An agent reported to him from the door. Orlestine, a wealthy name that holds the yoke of servitude.

" Enter, and leave it on the table" the employee did as they were told. "And one more thing… make sure to keep tabs on her." Added the bifocal man.

"Understood, Lord Harbinger." Leaving the pride of the northland bank alone. Just like the others in his life, but not this time. Not when he has found his other half.

"Soon… I'll make those dastards pay a hundred- no, over millions of times with what they've done with you." His rage knew no bounds as he recalled all the terrible things he told you before you were whisked away from that dumpster fire of a shelter.

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"You're a terrible cuddler… " normally you would laugh at his cold affection. He notices your arms wrapping around him, pulling him closer to you.

"Maybe I am, but that doesn't stop me." Your voice trembled as you put your chin on top of his head.

"Always helping that girl at the church… She doesn't even help you." The pretty-eyed boy mumbled, noticing your body has a hint of perfume. He wasn't a fool, he knew that the church girl was taking advantage of your kindness.

" It's not always about getting help." Only you would smile, he hates it. How his chest ached and yearned to be with you, the only gold hearted person he knew.

" You're just going to get hurt." Not knowing of the danger that had instored for the next day, shivered slightly when he felt the draft from one corner.

" Even so, I just wanted to help. " You hugged him more, he could see the warm breath against the chilly wind." Do you want me to sing? " Noticing it's growing late, and knowing his fondness of your melody.

" No way, you sound so terrible." He wanted to bite his tongue at the moment, but he didn't want to sleep. He's scared, and doesn't know what the reason was.

" Alright, alright, I hear you. Rest up, I need you to go get something for me tomorrow morning. It's really important." Soot stained face pouted, looking up at you when he heard that.

" Ha? Didn't you hear what that guy said about a snowstorm tomorrow?" You laughed a bit before rubbing your cold fingers on his cheek trying to get the ash off.

"Please, it's important. " With how soft your voice was, he knew you really needed it. But for what?

" Pah, go find someone else to do that. " Again, he wants to beat himself up for being such an asshole.

" Oh, alright." You merely sighed and kissed his head. For being an understanding person just doesn't sit right with him.

" You're really annoying, you know?" Murmured, leaning his head on your chest. He truly despised the situation they're in.

" Yeah, yeah, just sleep you little munchkin." Pinching his cheek to get a reaction out of him and laugh.

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And that was the last conversation he had with you, he wanted to say something different at the time. Still his own mouth betrayed him, barred from showing his own feelings to her. Compared to you, always wearing your heart on your sleeve, a faint light that shines even the darkest and coldest of places.

"Count Kintis." Pantalone threw a knife at a picture on the wall, riddled with red strings. He needed to act fast before his beloved had gone too deep in this little hell of milk and honey.

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He wanted to confront you about it first. Going back would be a good start, he had booked a private room and requested you specifically. But got denied at a certain time since she's taken at that hour, he had no choice but to change the meeting a bit before seeing you.

Once Pantalone sat back down in the sinful establishment. He could only imagine what other torturous things they'll do to you. Snapping out of his thoughts when he heard a strikingly familiar voice

" If you had prepared twenty years ago// You wouldn't be a-wanderin' now from door to door//"

Honeyed voice rang in the faintly lit room, looking up to the stage where you stood. Dressed in a shimmery red tight fitting apparel accompanying a person with a piano. Men started to stare, undressing you with their gaze. It's sickening, all he could think of is; how DARE they dirtied your image. The sweetest and pure girl he used to know, reduced to such depravity all because of his mistake all those years ago..

He adores your soft voice that sings to him at night easing his worries. Bringing warmth despite the howling winds. Is the song dedicated to him abandoning you? Is this how you've felt when you wait daily to see if anyone would miss or even save you? He's certain of it… no doubt you have to be rescued.

After the stage, a roar of claps erupted from the audience followed by whistles. Which only further summons his ire. He attempted to follow the songstress to her dressing room for a little chat. But was stopped because some man decided to talk to you, so he had to step in.

"I've been looking all over for you." Pantalone put his hand on your shoulder.

"Oh- uhm.. sir." He hates to admit it, but seeing you a bit flustered is adorable but that's not the point!

"Eh? Do you know him, fortune?" The man seemed displeased with how well dressed and intimate he is with you.

" Yeah, he's my next customer." You bluffed, but that is the truth. The Regrator did book you.

His eerie smile directed at the harasser who seemed to get the message about what might go down, and left. Keeping a mental note on that fellow.

A heavy sigh of relief washed over her. "Thank you, kind sir." Now there's that smile he loves to see. You must be really scared to be here, which is why he's here to scoop you up and pay your debt off.

"It was no problem at all, darling." Despite their age being so close, he had grown taller thanks to your help.

"But I do want to talk to you if that is okay with you. It will only take a few moments of your time." He had practised and prepared for this moment of his life, yet his hands were shaking. Not out of excitement, but with fear.

" Of course." Normally you'd be happy helping someone.

" Excellent, is your name ____?" Asking, no need to be hasty, he needs every little and single detail burned into his mind.

You answered, and everytime he asked another. He was so sure you're that girl he met all those ages ago when he was just a pauper with no mora to his name. The conversation started to circle once there were answers that didn't match up or didn't satisfy him, but paraphrasing the first questions. Growing weary of this, he pulled out a pristine flower and showed it to you.

"You know, a poor friend of mine left me this one pitiful morning. She made me fetch a pathetic flower in hopes to ditch me and have a perfect life without me. She would always sing me these strange songs where twin black stars twinkle in the night to guide damnable souls like mine." Pantalone lied in order to get something out of you, noticing your distressed look. He stopped with his relentless questionnaires.

His face softened once tears started to roll down your visage, ruining your makeup.

"Little munchkin… ?" Using the nickname that you gave him, her hand on her head. It felt like it's going to split.

Gloved hand tried to touch your cheek "Oh, my angel-." But another voice called out to you, seeing you flinched at the sound and quickly put up a façade that everything's fine.

"Fortune… " The older looking gentleman came over to calm you down. Saying something before looking at Pantalone as if he had done something wrong.

He got kicked out of the building. For the first time, he was denied something by a mere commoner. But it won't be the first time he'll be persistent on getting what he wants.

He'll start negotiating, from time to time out of mercy. It would have worked if that old wind bag would just let him speak to you. No one would even look at him or even tell him to come back next time. It's insulting that they're treating him like he's the same beggar before he rose to power!

So he stopped going and began his next phase, fine if they didn't want to talk to them it'll be their own damn fault if ruin comes to them.

Sending some fatui agents around the area to keep tabs. One has reported that you kept singing your heart out of sorrow by yourself in the middle of the night. A tune that would always lull him to slumber… That quelled the voices in his mind that it's a plea for help. But first he has to feed the ever so ravenous knowledge seeker.

Your poor admirers met an 'accidental' demise one by one.. Others met a swift and painless death, another ended with accidents, some went missing, framed and tried in court. Though, he had kept a select few in a pen that ultimately disgust him. First when they devoured the rotting flesh of their leftover livestock. Still hungry, they turned upon themselves. All the while Pantalone watched from afar in the comfort of his opulent home.

Then there's that one time where someone had bumped onto you, they too weren't spared. Especially that girl with a jaded expression. One that threatened to sue you in court for causing her husband's infidelity.

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From days to months, the old crod of the accursed métier finally made his move. The stygian haired man found one of the batch being transported, the one that didn't have you in it.

"I gave you numerous warnings and signs, gaffer. Give my little angel back." Pantalone hissed with a sinister smile. He may be merciful to some degree, but there is a limit to his thinning patience with stubborn people.

"Over my dead body, Regrator! First, you harassed my child then proceeded to corner me to a wall. You're nothing but a coward hiding behind that pile of money of yours!" The bald man goaded, using his arms to imitate a shield the girls. It effectively summoned the heavy coated man's indignation.

"Sir, if I may." One agent talks.

"Permission to speak, granted. Be quick about it." He knows this agent would take pity on the old man.

"Thank you, how about a little gamble? A game of Durak." They suggested it, making the banker hum in curiosity.

Durak, a traditional game where the goal is to have an empty hand. Rather odd for the agent to suggest this, since this is one of the things that got him to where he is today..

"What do you say, josser?" The shaven head man looked at the girls and thought this'll be a trap. But what other choice does he have?

With the game set, cards from the beauty owner provided a bit of an advantage on his part..

The first round goes to the owner, then the next, and the next until the fourth when Pantalone had started to catch up. Comparing the two is like calling a zucchini a cucumber.

"l, won." With such triumph, not once did he open his eyes as the defeated player collapsed to his knees, salty tears leaked out of his eyeballs. Pleading the girls to let go as they have nothing to do with this.

"Please, Lord Harbinger, have a heart and leave my children alone!" Cried the loser, begging for the 9th's mercy at his feet after his inevitable defeat at the game of Durak. It was only a matter of time..

" 'Have a heart', you say? Well, I can arrange that." The young man smiled lightly like normal but to the old man that didn't want to hand over any of his girls or 'children' rather, felt the foreboding deal he verbally struck. The girls behind him huddled together, paled at the implications that come with it.

"Oh, he's going to love this patient." Laughed the Regrator as the agents took hold of the caretaker who was thrashing around. He had a plan for the other girls to be sent away, not bothering them… but did send a few other girls to be closely inspected by the doctor for 'analysis'.

"Tell him to take his sweet time with the others." Waving his hands away at the agents that rallied the girls in separate binds, their wails and pleas go unheard by them as they are being pulled to go under the scalpel.

"Lord Harbinger! We have uncovered the girl!" Reported another that just arrived. And now the real fun begins.

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Back at his home there you are, resisting Pantalone's kindness when he's trying to be patient with you. Each time returning with a gift covered in gilt. And declined once again. He's just as ruthless as he is merciful to you.

" If you love that vulgar job so much, then I'll be obliged to satisfy you in your needs…"

" Oh, come on… you could do better than that.."

"Look at you… So filthy, whoring yourself out like that...I can't believe you were manipulated into agreeing with those dunces."

Whispering those into your ear as you were chained and gagged to the bed. "My lovely, little angel, don't worry. I'll take good care of you this time. Don't give me that talk about being selfless, they're abusing it…" he ran his fingers through your hair.

" Be a good little munchkin for me instead, sing all those songs when we're young…" it's probably best for you to do as he says.

You had become his security blanket, the only thing besides money that can brighten his day. It's not complete if he didn't wrap your body up in a blanket and cuddle you.

If you did return his feelings, perhaps he'll let you out of the chains occasionally. That goes for accepting gifts from him. You must welcome it with open arms and display it upon your body for him to see. Only you would see that genuine smile on that face when he brushed your hair.

The obsession in his eyes grew darker with time. Mumbling how you don't need to lift a finger anymore for anyone. Just let him be the brains for both of you, and you just sit pretty like a doll for him.

Even after that there is one fear that hasn't been quelled within him. What if you found a way to revolt? What would he do to satiate your needs?

Thinking back, that flower you gave him had allowed him to befriend an alchemist, a pill was given after he shared his sob story.

"Fret not friend, for this is the solution you seek of.. have your friend consume it and then she is all yours until death."

Oh, to use or not to use. It all depends on how you behave, either comply willingly or comply forcefully. Either way, he doesn't want to hurt you. But if it's the betterment to get you to stay in his arms, he doesn't seem to have a reason to be guilty about.

"Dear… open your mouth." You didn't as he tried to push the pill in your lips, hands tried to push him away but felt weak since you tried to boycott by not eating.

"It's for your own good, you'll feel better once you eat it… EAT IT. " Pantalone threatens his darling angel to open her mouth by squeezing her cheeks, tossing the pill in your lips before kissing your lips to force the petite maiden to submission.

Moans escaped your mouth as hands gripped on his back, panting as your body felt sweaty. A black pill like size appeared on your ear. Whispering temptations into your ear and slowly bending to the greedy will of his.

Continuing his kisses down to your collar bone, giving love marks all over your body. For some odd reason it felt warm, light touches are enough to make your vision spin around.

"Ha..! Please… " Some drool dribbled down your chin. Your hands looped over his head pulling him closer to your chest.

"Mm, of course my little angel. Anything for you. Go on. Sing my little angel! "

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For some odd reason I feel quite unsatisfied with this. Or am I just being too harsh?

[neroushalvaus]

Top 10 favourite characters from any fandom

I was tagged by @limalepakko , thank you! Since I have recently listed male characters here (or you know, in August, but we all know time hasn't been a thing for many moons), I took the liberty to list characters in general this time. I also went with which characters feel right at the moment, so does not show all my favourites. I also try to keep these short. (edit: okay so these are not remotely short, I will post a list first and have the explanations be under the cut, read if you want to hear my ramblings c': )

1. Fantine, Les Misérables 2. Javert / Jean Valjean, Les Misérables (yes i am cheating) 3. Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Orange Is the New Black 4. Jane Marple, Agatha Christie's Marple 5. Aunt Lydia, The Handmaid's Tale 6. Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones books & movies 7. Rock Lee, Naruto 8. Sarah O'Brien, Downton Abbey 9. Marilla Cuthbert, Anne of Green Gables / Anne with an E 10. Sister Monica Joan, Call the Midwife

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1. Fantine, Les Misérables

I love Fantine with all my heart. I remember reading Les Mis for the first time and her story sending chills down my spine. Her character development makes me so sad, from a girl who falls hard and fast and won't deny anything from her lover, to a woman who is so beaten down by society that she can't do anything but laugh at her fate. But I love how she doesn't lose her pride or her fighting spirit and how she still has the guts to spit in Valjean's face when she sees him after being arrested. And I love how all she does is for her daughter and how despite selling "the gold on her head and the pearls in her mouth" she is content, because all that matters to her is that Cosette will live.

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2. Javert & Jean Valjean, Les Misérables

I was really trying to limit this list to one character per fandom, but alas, I am but a weak little person. Thus, I am cheating already. The thing is that when it comes to Les Mis characters, Fantine, Javert and Valjean are the eternal top 3 for me, but I'm never quite able to say who I love the most. Last time I picked Javert for the male character meme because I love the symbolism and critique of society his character embodies, but let it be known that Jean Valjean is the best character in all of literature and I will fight you on this. The original soft on crime icon (aside from Jesus Christ but they're the same and you know it). Valjean's character journey is such a complicated one from an ordinary man (no worse than any man) to a person, who had been shaped by society and criminal justice system to be a very dangerous man, to someone you could compare to a saint if you wanted to... To an ordinary man, who would do anything for his daughter. He has so many character-defining moments, the biggest ones being in my opinion the trial of Champmathieu and letting Javert go instead of killing him. I just love Jean Valjean so much and could speak about him for hours.

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3. Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Orange Is the New Black

Hopping away from the Les Mis hole and into a OITNB hole. I was debating on whether I'd put Boo or Pennsatucky on this list since I love them both so much, but I've been feeling so much love for my angry butch king that it had to be her. First of all, I'm just so happy to see butch lesbian representation where the butch identity is not just a joke. I know OITNB sometimes uses Boo questionably, but in general she is a nuanced character and one of the most interesting ones in the series in my opinion. I'm so sad they forgot all about her on the last seasons. I love everything about her, how she has trouble with feelings besides anger and often deflects serious stuff through humor, how fiercely protective she is of those she loves (boosatucky otp forever fucking fight me), how proud she is of her butch identity ("i refuse to be invisible")... Also, not to express attraction, but... Mama I'm in love with a criminal. And not to be a slut for how characters view religion/spirituality/God, but the relieved smile she has in one of her flashbacks when she says "there's no God... there's nothing", like you can't just do stuff like that and expect me not to love the character to bits.

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4. Jane Marple, Agatha Christie's Marple

Last time I listed Poirot and was a bit frustrated I couldn't list Marple, but now it's time to right that wrong! I love this little old lady so much. I love Agatha Christie so much for just going "you know who is the person who knows everything that's going on in a community, and thus would make the perfect detective for a detective story? the nosy old woman". As she is introduced in The Murder at the Vicarage: "Miss Marple is a white-haired old lady with a gentle, appealing manner — Miss Weatherby is a mixture of vinegar and gush. Of the two Miss Marple is much more dangerous." She is so likable and witty, you can't help but love her. My favourite portrayal of her is by Geraldine McEwan, she looks so gentle but has such a sharp gaze. I would spill all my secrets to her any day. I also am compelled to tell you that when I was a child we had a costume party at my school and I dressed up as Marple and learned some old lady things in English (it was before third grade so I didn't know much English back then) just for the occasion (such as "thank you, my dear", "what a lovely necklace you are wearing" or "there has been a murder"). Teacher might have thought me rather morbid but I remember that day being quite good.

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5. Aunt Lydia, The Handmaid's Tale

The Handmaid's Tale is such a great series and a book and Aunt Lydia is such a great character. The way she's capable of being absolutely cruel and vicious, but how she is also protective and caring in her own way. One of my favourite scenes in this series is when Serena Joy (my other favourite, can you tell) tells Lydia to "remove the damaged ones" from a line of handmaids and Lydia tries to argue with her. Sure, she is responsible for some of the punishments these women are now "damaged" by, but she truly believes those punishments were for a greater good and now the handmaids deserve their place with the others as much as anyone else. It is chilling and the character is such a dark shade of morally gray, but I can't get enough of it. The actress who plays her, Ann Dowd, has so interesting thoughts about her, like here. I just love this character so much I could scream.

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6. Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones books & movies

I'm mostly talking about the movies here because Renée Zellweger's performance is iconic. Plus the movies are what made me love this character first. But I'll give it to the books, they're one of the few books I've laughed out loud while reading. Anyway, how do you even begin explaining the love I have for Bridget Jones... I love how she is a character so many people can relate but who would be a comic relief side character in some other story. Yes, yes, it is really bad that she is constantly described as fat when she really is not, but when I was growing up she gave me hope that people who are viewed as fat and/or unattractive by other people can be admired and appreciated, and they don't have to be super talented at everything and highly intelligent and some kind of a super smooth social butterfly to "make up" for what they "lack". And also that they can have standards (i once dodged a bullet by rejecting someone by pretty much subconsciously quoting Bridget Jones so..). I also love how the comedic tone of everything does not dismiss Bridget's feelings. For example in some other movie we maybe would concentrate on how "stupid" Bridget was to trust that Daniel was in love with her, but in Bridget Jones we concentrate on how Bridget was hurt by Daniel cheating on her, how he is the one who did wrong. Idk I just love Bridget Jones so very much can you tell.

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7. Rock Lee, Naruto

Aka the boy who would have kicked Madara in the balls if Kishimoto had any sense of drama and good storytelling. I think I robbed Lee by not putting him on the fav male characters list. You know that post that goes like "gays be like 'these are my comfort characters', 1 literal ray of sunshine, 2 war criminal" etc? This child is the sunshine. I've been reading and watching Naruto again ( @hapanmaitogai is my sideblog for that nonsense) and I'm so ready to adopt Lee and/or Gai. Rock Lee is just such an earnest character, he has a goal he will give anything to achieve and he's the one true underdog in this manga. I love how he's so kind and polite (it's not so clear in English but in the Finnish translation he speaks as formally as he does in Japanese, he uses singular polite "you", calls Sakura "Sakura-neiti" = "Miss Sakura" etc... i love one polite boy). Also, he has the best fights in the series. Like Lee vs Gaara is a Classic, but we simply can't forget that time Lee absolutely crushed Sasuke in just a few minutes, or that time he politely asked Kimimaro not to kill him while he drinks his medicine. The best boy. I love that boy so much.

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8. Sarah O'Brien, Downton Abbey

Last time it was Thomas' turn, so now I must talk about the snakiest snake, the queen of weaponized handmaidenry, Miss O'Brien. She is such a great character especially in the first two seasons (I obviously love her on season three as well but Julian Fellowes really tried to make it hard by not explaining her actions at all, didn't he. Well, luckily I am ready to stuff the gaps with my headcanons). She has some of the best comebacks in the series and brings some needed realism in some conversations. I also love how she uses her position as a lady's maid for her advantage and how she is proud of her profession despite being highly aware of the power structures in the Abbey. And then there is the soap. That is such a good character moment, because for a character who always plans ahead, who is ruthless and cunning and intelligent... I don't think O'Brien thought about the soap thing at all before she left the room ("Sarah O'Brien, this is not who you are" hit me like a train). Just once she did something with nothing but anger motivating her and that became one of the defining moments of her character. And one of the defining things of the future relationship between her and Cora. That's why I find the Sarah/Cora ship so interesting, because there will always be the undercurrent of bitter regret. Also Sarah O'Brien and Thomas Barrow are the greatest brotp and Fellowes was a coward for driving the smoking scheming gay best friends apart, and

*

9. Marilla Cuthbert, Anne of Green Gables / Anne with an E

I'm not saying L.M. Montgomery is entirely responsible for me having a fondness for strict, older women who first act unkind but have a heart of gold, but she most certainly did not help. Between characters like Marilla Cuthbert and Elizabeth Murray, how can you not fall in love with the type? It's been a while since I read the Anne series, but I really love how Marilla's character has been adapted into the Anne with an E tv series. Geraldine James looks like she was born to play her, she has me in tears so often. She has the ability to portray someone like Marilla, who is a very hard and stern person but feels deeply for her loved ones. I was watching the episode that dealt with Matthew's heart attack and Marilla berating her brother while hugging herself like she was trying so hard to hold herself together absolutely destroyed my heart.

*

10. Sister Monica Joan, Call the Midwife

It was a tough choice between her and Sister Evangelina. I just love these nuns very much. Sister Monica Joan is such a lovable and wise character. She is so knowledgeable of many subjects, from the Bible to astrology, and I feel like her unspecified memory problems and confusion are handled very tastefully. I also love how she's such an important part of her community despite not working as a midwife anymore. She is such a kind woman and gets visibly upset when others are treated poorly. And how could I not mention her saying "I do not believe in weeds. A weed is simply a flower that someone decides is in the wrong place", like... I love her so so much.

*

I won't tag anyone, but if you read this and you want to do this, consider yourself tagged and you're no allowed to mark me as the one who tagged you!

[mcrmadness]

🌺💘🌷 GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS TAG 🌷💘🌺

Rules: When you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know! They can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. When you’re done and if you want to, send this to 10 people you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: @cats-crushesandhistory, thank you!!! Tagging: @stufenlosregelbar, @hanhan156, @charlotte-lancer, @autumnrebel, @cupcakecurl, @lycanrvc, - six is enough for now. I’m probably forgetting about basically everyone, I literally had to go through these by letters because I can never remember anything when I should make a list and I still feel bad for not including _everyone. But I decided to include only those who I have interacted with at least a little bit - I literally don’t dare to speak to anyone unless they tell me first that I am allowed to approach them. I also did not tag anyone who I haven’t seen doing these tag games or who I don’t know if they like these or not. And all of you can also just skip this if this is not your cup of tea.

***

I can never write anything short (surprise...) so I’ll just give you a short list here and you can click the read more link and see more of my thoughs on each topic there.

I am a teetotaler and I have never even tried alcohol. I also don’t and have never smoked and I stay the f* away from drugs, too.

I love cats. Like, for real, they’re the best thing in this whole world.

I love all animals overall, and I am actually a horse groom, I have a the “Vocational Qualification in Horse Care and Management”, specializing in harness racing, and I have worked with horses for over 10 years so far.

As a kid, I was a huge dinosaur nerd and I still love them.

I love comics and I have also drawn comics since I was a kid. I still have all of my old comics saved. Lately I haven’t been drawing even nearly as much and only fanart, tho. Drawing is fun but I simultaneously love and hate it.

Lol it seems I have love for everything but humans :D:D:D:D:D:D I didn’t even realize that before making this list looooooooool XD But yeah, more rambling under the cut :D But thanks for reading, if you end up reading it.

1. I am a teetotaler and I have never even tried alcohol. I also don’t smoke (and never have) and I avoid drugs - so much so that I don’t know if getting ADHD medication would break this “rule” of mine because they are made from the same stuff as one well-known drug...

I think it started as me just being so “lawful” all the time and the legal drinking age in Finland is 18, so I wanted to follow the rules at all times so I didn’t even think about drinking before the age of 18 and I was often very much shocked by other teens who did that, and I also remember being really worried when my best friend started experimenting with alcohol as a teenager. Despite the legal drinking age being 18, basically everyone here still started (and starts?) drinking between the ages of 13 and 15. So at school, from Monday to Wednesday, all that happened was overhearing the drunk stories of other kids. And from Wednesday to Friday, it changed to them discussing their plans for the next weekend. It was like this every week. And I never could wrap my head around it (I spent my weekends at home being happy that I could have free time and play The Sims 2 or something).

Then at some point I guess I just felt like I don’t even need alcohol for having fun and I still haven’t felt like that, and I don’t think I ever will either. When I turned 18, I was super annoyed by everyone because EVERYONE asked me “So you’re turning 18, did you plan on going to a bar?” and I would always answer something like “I don’t even drink (alcohol) so why would I?” and what still annoys me a little is people telling me “That’s good. That’s a good decision, drinking is bad.” and like... if you really think so, why do you drink yourself, then?

2. I love cats. Maybe that is partially visible from my blog too but I really, really love cats, and for decades my favorite animal has been tiger. When I was born, we had already 3 cats in the house and the last one of them died when I was almost 13 (he would have turned 16 that year). Before I moved out at the age of 23, there was not a single day without cats and currently my parents have 4 (plus a dog). I am still dreaming of my own cat but I can’t take one now because animals are not allowed in my flat but whenever I move out of this, I will choose one with pets allowed and I will adopt a cat. Most likely a rescue cat if I can find one, or even two so they can keep each other company. As cute as kittens are, adult cats are also important and need homes.

3. I also love animals overall. I actually like them more than humans (but technically humans are just apes so they’re my least favorite animal, then) and when I was 7-years-old, whenever I was asked about my dream job, I always said or wrote “I don’t know, probably something to do with animals!” And since my teens I have had lots of different ideas for jobs but when I was 25, I graduated as a horse groom. And have been (on-off) working with horses for over 10 years now (currently unemployed). Originally I chose the horse work because I was so pissed by the capitalist system and the thought of an office job or job at a grocery store and such was just... ew, no, never! So I chose horses because if I have to work, then I will do something useful and someone’s gotta take care of the animals too and I love animals, and animal work doesn’t feel like work but more like a lifestyle, so I’ve been basically fooling the system AND myself by that. Sometimes I also dream of the work as a zookeeper.

4. As a kid, I was a huge dinosaur nerd and I still love them (Land Before Time FTW). With my siblings we had a huge collection of dinosaur toys and I also have always loved evolution and genetics, so what we did was to give an individual name for every dinosaur we had. And we knew the species of each of them, and we knew so many facts about them too. Each dino also had their own personality and we even created family trees for them. There were generations of these dinos and we also created this “growing up order” which meant we put them all standing next to each other, usually under my brother’s bed because we had so many of them and they didn’t fit anywhere else lol, from the youngest/smallest to the oldest. And our biggest mission, that never got finished, was “The Big Play” which was us playing that the ancestor parents aka the oldest and biggest of our toys were born and we would play with them and play how they grow older and eventually start having their own kids - who were the next generation in our “growing up order” :D

No wonder why I still love playing The Sims games, especially TS3! (I even have a Finnish simsblog.) Lots of the things I have done and loved as a kid still live so strong in me, they just come out differently than what they did then. Imagination and toys changed to video games, especially The Sims (but I did play video games a lot as a kid too) and my love for genetics and evolution is still really strong.

5. I love comics. My favorite comic book character of all times is Garfield - he’s a cat and I grew up with cats so obviously I fell in love with the Garfield comics too, and I grew up with them as well. My mom subscribed to the Finnish Garfield comic in the early 90s and I have full volumes starting from the year 1994. I also have lots and lots of earlier comics and I always hunt for them from second-hand shops and I don’t have too many of them missing anymore, and I’m really proud of my collection. I also collect Lucky Luke, Rantanplan and Asterix - I have almost all of the (Finnish publications of) Lucky Lukes and Rantanplan.

I have also always loved drawing and I drew my first actual comic when I was 9 or 10 years old. Before that I had been drawing lots of “image series”, one image per paper. I still have all my old comics here in a drawer and I have had so many different characters and majority of them have had endless “plots” aka no plots whatsoever :D Before I actually never drew humans, I started drawing human portraits as fanart when I was 16 and the first human comic characters I drew (also as a fanart) when I was 18 or so. Before that everything was animals of some sort - I have had ants, flies, dogs, cats, birds... even ghosts at some point, and I also created one very simple anthropomorphic creature just so that it was easy to draw and I could concentrate on drawing clothes and hair. Oh my god I loved drawing hairdos to these, and so often I had one female “main character” and I gave her a “growth spurt” where I just drew her in different ages until she was “adult” and I continued telling about her life as an “adult”. Very often these differen phases were literally phases, there were soooooo many different styles each just for one year :D Then at some point I started coming up with actual ideas and plots instead of just drawing whatever I felt like drawing. I still draw comics nowadays, but those are mainly fanart and I haven’t drawn about OC’s in years and currently I have no active ones (except for the “self-comics” about my deep thoughts etc.) and I don’t know how to create new ones, I just have no creativity unless it’s provoked by a fandom thing or when I get a base like The Sims 3 where I don’t have an empty canvas but am given the tools for creating something new.

It might be fun to share some of my old comics here one day but this blog isn’t really an “art blog”, even tho I post some of my drawings occassionally. But let me know if you’d like to see some and maybe I will make a post about that in the future.

[hanramm156]

Rammstein Family Game: Get to know me! (Warning: a long ramble)

I’m honored to be tagged by @cherrisplace​ and @momoredcrow​. ^^ It’s been a pleasure to read other people’s Rammstein memories and opinions, so here comes mine as well. Writing is one of those rare things that keep me sane during this crazy season, so I apologize this being super long. More rambling is probably coming when everything’s cancelled and I have nothing else to do.

Rules: There are no rules. Tag whoever you want. Don’t tag yourself. Tag yourself. You don’t have to answer all the questions. Do what you please. Have fun.

Created by: @vapor-stein

1. I’m curious: when did you discover Rammstein?

2004 properly, but I might have heard Du hast or other popular songs even earlier.

2. Tell me your story. How did you discover them?

As said, it was 2004 and I was watching some random Finnish music show. Back in the days, I watched a lot of music videos from the tv and recorded my favorite ones to VHS. One evening Rammstein’s Amerika came from the show and I was like “??? What on earth is this??? Sounds interesting…”. I wasn’t into metal music back then (I mostly listened to indiepop and alternative rock), but for whatever reason, I got hooked instantly to this German band’s dark, eerie sound. It was refreshing to hear something else than English and the video was also thrilling.

Rammstein had intruded my mind already, but the final straw was when I saw the Mein Teil video. I liked both the song and the video A LOT - so much that I even felt kinda “dirty” for liking something this dark. A 14-year-old me was constantly asking from myself that: “am I even allowed to like this kind of stuff this much?”. The backstory for the song was creepy, but so mesmerizing – like I had been introduced to the darkest corners of human mind: yes, this kind of stuff happens, and we shouldn’t close our eyes from it. So next, the only thing I could do was to buy Reise, reise album, listen to it on loop and sketch my German notebook full of Rammstein lyrics. Here’s a proof:

I have so many stories about my relationship to Rammstein that I might have to write them all down now when there’s a lot of time.

3. Favourite song?

This topic would be worth a novel itself, but here are some of my favorites:

Asche zu Asche – So badass, gives me such an energy every time – plus, not to forget the burning microphones and SILVER REESH!

Bück dich – Yes, it’s a horrible story once again in this song, but I can’t help but to admit that the song is freaking catchy and in a weird way, hot. Also, there’s a funny backstory when I was in 9th grade and we almost performed this song in our official graduation party with my boyfriend and a bunch of our friends (maybe good that the idea was abandoned in the end…). We had a vague clue what the song was about, but we just thought it was funny – also, our German teacher dressed always in leather and loved Rammstein (she played us Bestrafe mich during one class and I’ll always remember the awkward atmosphere) so we were thinking to dedicate the song to her for as our goodbye. XDD Seriously, why I have been so weird for all my life…

Sehnsucht – In most of the pop songs, longing is described by tender words and soft lyrics, but not in Rammstein’s case. I’ve had this weird feeling of “longing” all my life that I can’t describe properly. It’s kind of an inner emptiness, only arts and music can help to deal with it when it hits. I think Sehnsucht describes so realistically what is longing about in reality: it’s this angry pressure in your heart which you want to get out of your chest but can’t. In the end, you just want to scream your lungs out.

Mein Herz brennt – Powerful song that always gives me goosebumps. I can’t even explain why. Maybe the fact that “tough” men being emotional is my soft spot and Rammstein hits that spot hard.

Links 2-3-4 – I have always been kind of a rebel and I feel like when everyone else is going to the “right” I have to go to the left, to the unknown. My heart is longing for adventure, for the paths the others are not going. I dunno, but this is such a powerful song for me. When I hear it, I always just want to jump around. In Tampere concert I went totally nuts when Links started as the second song, lol. From that moment I felt like I was back home with my boys.

Mein Teil – No need for further explanations anymore.

Los – The harmonica solo!!! The dropped c tuning and the acoustic sounds!! I love it.

Amour – My favorite R+ ballad. I confess that I listen to this and think about the lyrics when I’m in the mood for writing something painfully romantic.

Weit weg – There’s this painful longing once again that always resonates to me. I listened this to a lot after the “after blues” of Ratina concert.

Tattoo – A song that I didn’t care about so much at first, but for whatever reason, it’s almost my favorite from the new album nowadays. It’s catchy as hell and I like the “rattling” guitar riffs.

4. Least favourite song? Come on. I know you have one.

Feuer frei – Too much Vin Diesel vibes. I also get a picture of drunken, middle-aged Finnish guys on a R+ gig who don’t care about to band, but just want to have a party of their life and get drunk, far away from their wives. (No offense to anyone, but as music is almost like a religion to me, I can’t help but to have a bit of disrespect for kind of people who just “consume” music.)

Pussy – Both musically and lyrically, so bad, but I get the point the guys tried to give with this nonsense.

5. Favourite album? & 6. Least favourite album? aka. I ramble about all the albums.

Tough one… as the rules were vague, I decided to have a short opinion about each of the albums.

Herzeleid – Summary: a bunch of guys, born and raised in DDR, are tired of everything so they get together and play aggressive songs - you can almost smell the testosterone miles away while you are listening to this album. I have to admit that I love this album even though it’s not musically super creative. It’s just raw men with raw feelings – and I have to say, it works for me.

Sehnsucht – I was creeped out of the album art as a teenager, lol. But yeah, musically improved from the former one and there are some classic songs that make Rammstein as they are nowadays. I listen to this often when I’m driving.

Mutter – The album that they had the most struggles with if I have understood correctly. The pain can be heard through the songs and it’s so honest and raw. I lost my friend in 2004 tragically and this album was one of the things that kept me sane back then. Especially the beginning of the album (MHB, Links, Sonne) hits me hard in the guts.

Reise, reise – The album that started all this hype in me, so it has a special place in my heart. I also liked how they tried something different to their usual sounds in this one, like orchestral and acoustic songs.

Rosenrot – To be honest, this album has always left me a bit “cold”, so I cannot even make a real opinion of it. There are some good moments though, like Mann gegen Mann that really speaks to me.

Untitled: This has been on the loop since last August and I was honestly surprised how good the album was. I hadn’t listened to Rammstein for a while, but when I got this album to my hands after the concert, holy shit it hit me. I like hearing the path the guys have gone: their new music is much more mature than the first angry albums. Also, I love Till’s poetry in this one, like Was ich liebe and Weit weg.

I think I answered the question #7 already, so I’ll skip to #8.

8. Unpopular opinion about a member? A scandal? Anything?

Even though I appreciate Till as an artist and a poet, I don’t find his appearance attractive. You can throw rotten tomatoes at me now, but this is just my opinion, no means to offend anyone. Maybe the reason is that my taste for men tends to go for androgynous side, so I am not drawn towards very masculine men.

I’m not interested in Lindemann project and I don’t like their music so much, but the tour looked entertaining though. I bet all the people who attended had a lot of fun.

How Richard pronounces English is extremely sexy to my ear, even though it clearly sounds like a German guy trying to sound American - still, it’s like honey to my ears. Stupid man who makes my knees weak with everything he does.

I hate to admit that I don’t like Ohne dich so much. I don’t know why. :(

9. Have you ever seen them live? Tell me what you felt.

Three times this far! Oh man, I could talk about for hours how the concerts have made me feel, but I try to be reasonable now.

Ruisrock, Turku, 2005 – My first time seeing them live – and going to a festival without any adult supervision, so it was a special experience overall – and they blew my mind. It was raining and thundering and we were completely soaked with my friends, but it was worth it!

Bonus for everyone who managed to read this far: teenage me waiting for Rammstein to start playing, looking so badass with my denim jacket and R+ logo drawn with eyeliner. :D

Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, 2012: We went to the show together with my boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s day and holy shiiiiit it was awesome. Hands down one of the best evenings of my life. I was so hooked to Rammstein afterward that when we were at my bf’s family’s cottage, his brother had to tell me to stop blasting Herzeleid all the time in the kitchen. :’D

Ratina Stadium, Tampere, 2019: Aka. byebye my life, say hello to fics, listening to the band all over again, stupid memes and all the content this fandom creates. I fell in love again with Rammstein during this concert.

I have tickets for Düsseldorf and Tallinn, but now I can only wait and stress that will Corona ruin everything. In that case, I’ll weep alone and write fics about the tour 2020 that ended up never happening.

10. Do you play any instruments? If you do can you play any song by them?

Yeah, I play guitar and piano but nowadays I mostly sing. Rammstein songs are super easy to play with guitar and I recently learnt to play Tattoo and Sex. Have been practicing Engle on piano as well. Some songs I like to sing are Deutschland, Tattoo and Engel. The “speaking” parts are difficult though. ^^;

I’m not sure who I could tag to this who hasn’t done it already, but I’ll try my luck: @ah-its-too-much​ @soronya​ @einemelodie​ @xiaolianhuax​ @so-darya-darya​ @maximaembra​ @kvidasjuklingur​

[gottagobuycheese]

Tag Thingy

Thanks @silent--sonata for indulging my terrible sleeping habits XD

(fyi this will probably be unnecessarily long and rambly, so it’s going under a cut (EDIT: whelp the song list got a little out of hand, I’d apologize if I were even remotely sorry)) 

Rules: Answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to get to know better  

Nickname: Cheese (or Lactose Wedge, or Dairy Product of Unspecified Origin and Purpose)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini! 

Height: 160.5 cm/5′3″ (Bubbles I refuse to believe you’re actually that much taller than me) 

Hogwarts house: Somewhere between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff allegedly, both of which I’d be honored to get sorted into, but honestly I’d just be stoked to get sorted at all 

Last thing I googled: I think it was something along the lines of “how to speed up audio playback in GarageBand,” but but my train of thought was derailed before I actually looked at any of the results so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and on a related note, thanks again for the magical audio editing @imperiousheiress!)

Song stuck in my head: The end credits to Legacy of the Wizard (which is SUCH a jam, thank you for enlightening me @jessicafish) Following and followers: 227 (goodness just looking at that number is stress-inducing) and...104?! When the HECK did you all get here??? I think just last summer I was happily floating about in the 50′s. Anyways, to anyone I have not said hello, hello! Hope you enjoy your stay, and I am sincerely sorry if you expected Quality Original Content, or even just regularly scheduled other people’s content. Sadly, neither of these things tend to happen here. 

Amount I sleep: During the school year it’s usually anywhere between 30 minutes and 6 hours (DON’T EVEN START BUBBLES YOU HAVE NO RIGHT), usually landing in the 3/4 hour ranges if I’m smart about it, but now that I am on Unofficial Break, it’s usually at least around 6 hours (except today was 3 because Avatar is an excellent show and the weirdos in this house have regularly scheduled breakfast at 9-something every morning). Sadly my sleep schedule can only be forced to tolerate normalcy for so long before careening back in the other direction, so we’ll see if this is just a blip or if we’re back to normal mid-Atlantic Ocean hours!

Lucky number(s): I wouldn’t say these are necessarily favorite numbers, but I do like 2 and 9. But come to think of it, second attempts at Official Things do tend to go better for me than first attempts, so maybe there’s some merit there after all! Dream Job: Don’t think I’m really cut out for dreaming anymore, haha (unless you are a theoretical future employer in which case I am Extremely Full of Ambition and Passion). The bed-adjacent metaphor has been made, and not to brag, but I can sleep on pretty much any surface. Currently studying my Not Favorite aspect of STEM (was there ever a favorite or did I just like being good at things sometimes) and learning how to People™ properly (and also learning a gazillion convoluted drug names like what the heck dude, did you just fall asleep on your typewriter coming up with these), so I’ll take whatever place hires me and pays me enough not to depend on my parents for everything, I suppose. In an ideal world, that would entail a job where I could make friends, and even more importantly, a job where my shortcomings would not cause Massive and Irreparable Harm, but I don’t think this line of work really meshes with that last one, so I guess I’ll either have to get my shit together™ extremely soon or fake my death, adopt an alias, and flee to a completely new place with no ties whatsoever before trying to get another, less high stakes job. 

(Though I guess, less cynically, I like helping people well enough? And stories are fun! Maybe there could’ve been something with that. Not that there still can’t be, mind, but there’s still a long way to go between Here and There)

Wearing: Black shorts. Navy t-shirt. Brown some-specific-kind-of-jacket-I-forgot-the-name-of jacket. Is it summer? Is it fall? Am I in middle school? Who can say, but they are COMFY so sadly I have no cares to give

Favourite song(s): way way WAY too many to list here, and I do not have them all organized in a handy playlist separately, but to name a few (and these are not necessarily the MOST favorite okay, it doesn’t mean I don’t love stuff not on this list, it means you can’t force me to pick between my children and I am going to find at least one quick thing from a few things I like before I need to hit post and go back to looking like I’m being studious, and also things I think you should listen to right now, but for everything I’ve linked assuming I mean the whole OST), here’s a spam of links in no particular order: 

LoZ Wind Waker - The Great Sea (aka the epitome of optimism) 

Undertale - NGAHHH!! (I was about to link more but then I realized it’d be the whole soundtrack lol) 

LoZ Breath of the Wild - Hateno Village (Night) 

A:tLA - Peace (bad call BAD CALL NOW I HAVE EMOTIONS) 

Legend of Korra - Final Scene/Ending Theme (MISTAKES WERE MADE MISTAKES WERE MADE) 

Kung Fu Panda - Oogway Ascends (I feel like I’m taking you on a whole little album journey now XD) 

PMD: Explorers of Sky - Dialga’s Fight to the Finish (aka the Gotta Shower Fast song) 

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Pursuit ~ Cornered (aka the HURRY UP AND PACK UR SHIT YOUR FLIGHT LEAVES IN THREE HOURS song) 

Apollo Justice: A New Trial Is In Session (very underrated soundtrack imo) and also Apollo Justice: Telling the Truth (because these two are very closely associated in my head and it’s getting harder and harder to narrow things down so maybe I should stop lol) 

Your Name: Katawaredoki (in which I am forcibly thrown heart first into the bedroom of my second apartment at approximately 12-something A.M.) 

Digimon Adventure 01: Butterfly (MASSIVE 90′s childhood anime feels, and also Last Summer Before Everything Went to Shit feels (on a general scale I mean, not personal)) 

Pokémon: Lugia’s Song multitrack cover by Jordan Moore (would that I could have a talent of that musical talent) 

Pokémon the First Movie: Tears of Life (great now I’m on a Pokémon music spiral GUESS IT’S CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA HOURS NOW) 

PMD: Blue Rescue Team - Farewell and Run Away/Fugitives (you CANNOT make me choose between these guys okay, my brain WILL explode, and whoops now I want to link the whole ost) 

Palette by A Dear Friend (wink wonk) 

Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire - Fortree City (wow talk about mood whiplash)

Detective Conan: Main Theme (I can’t find the specific version since there are so many, but it’s a Good Theme) 

Super Smash Bros.: Brawl - Opening Theme 

Pokémon Colosseum - Relic Forest 

Song for Lindsay by Andrew Boysen Jr. (oh great now it’s time for marching band feelings I guess)

Mt. Everest by Rossano Galante 

Deltarune - Field of Hopes and Dreams and A Town Called Hometown (orchestrated) (aka the Lots of Work To Do song) and You Can Always Come Home and Don’t Forget (hey guess what I wrote a bunch of fake extra verses for) (also it looks my pathetic attempts at narrowing things down are getting even more pathetic so I’ll wrap up soon XD) 

 Guild Wars 2 - Fear Not This Night (never actually played this myself but my friend got me addicted to the music) 

Lord of the Rings - May It Be (Enya) (aaaand now I miss choir, THANKS BUBBLES) 

Lion King - Can You Feel the Love Tonight (Multilingual) by Travys Kim (aka how I remembered how fun these things are) 

Original Song by Anonymous  

(The urge to add all the other songs I’m not adding is so strong but I’ve got so much work to do so just assume I mean all Nintendo music from any game I’ve played, all Ghibli movie music, every musical I’ve ever heard, and even more) 

Random fact:

Apparently as early as the 17th century, you could guess that a child would have a shortened life span if their foreheads tasted salty. Yes, there is a specific reason, and yes, you may already know what it is, and thankfully no, that life span projection no longer holds true, assuming access to Modern Medicine! 

Favourite Authors: Okay I have not read enough various books of enough various authors to be able to answer this, so I’m just gonna go with a few books instead. They are not necessarily all-time favorites, but I enjoyed reading them very much at the time and more often than not go back to them for comfort reads: The Martian, any of first three Harry Potter books, and The Rise of Kiyoshi. (That last one’s not really a comfort read but I am drowning in Loving Kiyoshi juice so here we are)

Favourite Animal Noises: Certain kinds of birds (UNLESS it’s some ungodly hour of the morning and you’re trying to sleep)? Ooh, and crickets! 

Aesthetic: A slob, but like...a comfy slob. An incredibly disorganized hermit who is happy to mill about in the uncontrolled entropy. (Are we talking about what aesthetic I give off, or what I like to look at, visually? Because I like space, and water, and mountains, and forests, and forests ON mountains, OOH and forests on mountains at night where you can see space, perhaps reflected in a body of water. Or just water, idk. Different things are pretty to look at at different times)

WELL THAT ONLY TOOK FOREVER SORRY FOR THE OBSCENE LENGTH 

@pachelbelsheadcanon @averybritishbumblebee @shingeki-no-korra @sailorlock @yeswevegotavideo @soultheta @queenerdloser @ifeelbetterer @rogueofdragons @peppervl @amadness2method @mutalune and anybody else who wants to do this! This isn’t seventeen, and I don’t know if any of you have already done it/been tagged, but I hear people moving around upstairs so that means this break is over XD. And ABSOLUTELY no pressure to actually do this, this is pretty much just me wishing you well! (and YOU of course, my dear reader! I hope everything’s going all right, or if it’s not, that it does soon)

[telesthisia]

(No reblogs! Make a new post please!)

|| The Basics ||

Name: Zelda of Hyrule Nickname(s): Zel, Zellie, Elle, Ellie Age: 19 Species: Human or well Hylian 

|| Personal ||

Religious Belief: The three golden goddess + Hylia but... she’s known as the forgotten goddess in her timeline since certain legends faded away from the public’s knowledge but not at all the royal family’s. Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience /Justice Primary Goals In Life:  To create a brighter future for her people for generations on end, leading to the eventually famed Golden Age before the Hero of Time’s downfall... though Hyrule has recovered once she’s born there are still remnants of ruin from that era as such she wants to protect her people as well as make Hyrule safer, while she doesn’t do it within her lifetime because limited lifespan her dream does still come true years later aka LOZ and LOZ 2 don’t be fooled by the plot, Hyrule was in its prime during those games!  Languages Known:  Hylian Secrets: Well... it’s no secret among her staff but outside the castle, she keeps her poor health (heart condition and undiagnosed rare anemia problem) and near lack of magical stamina a secret since that can put her at a pretty bad disadvantage. She has plenty of enemies, namely those who align themselves with Ganon and the resurrection of him is still possible provided the person is a powerful mage with knowledge of doing that sort of stuff in the first place. And then there’s also court drama she has to worry about but that’s for another long lengthy headcanon post I should have out... soon... ish. Also while obvious with partners and in a meta sense and if you’re super observant but her guise Elle is, in fact, her, the princess of Hyrule so... ye...  Quirks: Her birthmark of the Triforce is... certainly unique. But if we’re talking mannerism rather than physical then allow me to just ramble because hoo boy! When nervous or worked up, she often tucks her stray hairs behind her ears, even when she’s not feeling those emotions she’s always fiddling around with it (in her royal wear) often flipping it out of her face or trying to make it look a little neater. She has the Pendant of Courage, a gift from Link and often clutches on it when she feels the need to summon her courage if she’s feeling not that brave, often trying to recall Link’s courage during his many adventures. When using any of her PSI powers she tends to have a nose bleed, as such, she often carries around a handkerchief and tries to cover it up before going off somewhere to stop the bleeding. When laughing, she likes to hold her smile behind her hand... and when yawning she tries to cover her mouth. SHE IS THE WORST COOK TO EVER EXIST holy crap but can make mean cookies. When flirting (more like embarrassed flirting pft) she looks away to the side and twirls her hair around her finger trying to hide her red cheeks. Her romantic out view on life stems from the fact that she was constantly surrounded by death and history and art so there’s morbid beauty in the melancholy... this girl gets excited over Friday the 13th and samhain ok like... there’s a lot to unpack with that. THERE’S MORE BUT I’VE RAMBLED FAR ENOUGH!!!  Savvies: Well... she bakes pretty good cookies BUT UH!!! YEAH she’s pretty proficient with her light magic! While she can’t do the amazing things other Zeldas can do because of limitations she’s not someone you would want to mess around with. She’s learned to work around those limitations and has great control over her powers. On top of that, she somehow knows how to use a crossbow so :’) while not the light arrows (she’s too weak to wield a bow) and it was a lucky shot she at least knows enough about how it works to fire it in the first place. She reads a lot, even as a kid she’d sneak off to the library to read the history about Hyrule or read maps and well she’s pretty knowledgable about her nation as a whole! And thanks to sneaking out she knows how to sneak past the guards and knows all of the secret passages in her castle like the back of her hand! Can’t forget her amazing political insight and ability to think outside the box! She has pretty innovative ideas for her times esp when concerning the common folk, but sometimes they don’t always go through because well... nobles. 

|| Physical ||

Height: 5′0″  Weight: you never ask a lady her weight! >:0 Scars/Birthmarks:  Has a cat scratch scar on her right palm which is also where the triforce is located! Abilities/Powers: Light magic, as the descendant of the mortal goddess she has been blessed with the Light Force. On top of that she’s come from a line of sages and has the Triforce of Wisdom so as you expect she has so much magic. She can heal, bless your weapons, smite away darkness, sense darkness (As a matter of fact she’s pretty sensitive to it and it makes her lowkey sick if it’s too much) and then there’s her PSI abilities which includes clairvoyance and telepathy! And then... her connection to the spirit realm.  Restrictions: AHAHAHA SO MUCH, she’s a glass cannon which is why she’s so, so, so easy to kidnap in the first place. She may put up a fight but not for long, as such her tactics are always to make a distraction and then escape. But she has poor stamina and just a poor heart, she can’t really overexert herself without a) causing pain and b) passing the hell out which was common in her younger days. Using magic takes up a lot of stamina as shown in ALTTP esp with the more powerful spells, you need an amazing reserve to cast all of that and sadly while she has good control she doesn’t have good reserves. SOOOOOOO to fix this she always has to take medicine of magic. Mana blockage is a thing that can happen, more often than she’d like to admit which causes pain once again and makes using magic pretty hard. Now onto her telepathy and clairvoyance. While they sound useful there are restrictions on those as well, for one with telepathy while she can contact anyone so long as she finds their signature subconscious she doesn’t have to worry about distance too much so long as they are within her range which is... maybe more than 200 meters? I need to think about the range more because there are certain places where she can reach you and cannot but there’s def a range limit. She tends to get nosebleeds and headaches from using telepathy. Her clairvoyance is where she can see bits of the future, but they are very vague and hard to decipher and there’s always a chance of the future changing or not changing. As for her connection to the spirit realm, pretty much she can see dead people... in her dreams and there’s no way of shutting this power off she’s gotta deal with the horrors that is this realm. Now seeing spirits isn’t anything new in LOZ but contact to the spirit realm is something that’s implied that only royal family members can do... as implied by Zelda’s words in BOTW where she said her mom (or grandma??) could hear the voices of the spirit realm.  

|| Favorites ||

Favourite Drink: Rose tea Favourite Pizza Topping: Basil...  Favourite Color:  Blue!  Favourite Music Genre: She pretty much likes slow and relaxing music, piano comes to mind but *kayne shrug* Favourite Book Genre: Romance aHEM as a princess she doesn’t have time to read cheesy romance novels and fantasize about the day where someone riding on a white horse will sweep her off her feet and they ride off into the sunset never having to bear the burden of her heritage and responsibilities hahaha..... but history and folklore. She likes tragic stories that have bittersweet endings.  Favourite Movie Genre: Fantasy, tragic tales, suspense, romance flicks  Favourite Season: Spring Favourite Butt Type:

Favourite Swear Word: "Goodness me!”  Favourite Scent: Forest scent, the fields, that ancient scent you smell when visiting old places, the smell of book pages  Favourite Quote: “Time has stopped for me long ago.”

|| Fun Stuff ||

Bottom or Top:

Sings In The Shower: Yes!!! Well... rose soaked bathwater because she’s spoiled stupid by her castle staff and Impa but she’ll hum a tune here and there!  Likes Bad Puns: Of course! She has the playfully innocent attitude so puns is right up her alley! Morality: Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic / Good / Gray / Evil Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other. Favourite Food: APPLES!!! Namely baked apples and more importantly apple strudel! Her nation is famous for having delicious apples that can help cure fatigue and even rise up stamina a bit! She’s very much a follower of “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” esp if that doctor keeps giving her bitter medicines.  “Boss” Theme Music :  Excuse me for using a sad track... but... sAD MUSIC HONESTLY SHE’S DEPRESSION PERSONIFIED!! It reflects her hidden melancholy for like everything. I feel like if you have to fight her as a boss it’ll be more of a beautifully sad moment than something epic like that boss fight with puppet zelda which slaps honestly.  Their Opinion On The Mun: “Does she thrive on my pain?”  

Was tagged by: no one

Tag 15 People: wHO EVER WANTS TO DO THIS

[lcnguor]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess.......  so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

[purrincess-chat]

Top 5 Ships

List your top 5 ships and tag 5 people.

I was tagged by my twin @lnc2 and I'm going to make two lists I suppose, one ML specific since this is an ML blog then one general. So for ML:

1. Love square (yall know ladrien and adrinette are my jam but I do view all sides as the same ship.)

I know everyone gets frustrated with Adrien in canon and love square has been losing face with a lot of people but tbh I always fix Adrien when I write them so I still love them a lot, and when they become canon I am going to transcend to a new plane of existence.

2. Myvan

They're just so good and pure. I adore them in canon. Ivan is so big and rough but he is also super sweet and gentle to Mylene and I die.

3. Julerose

I. Live. For. Toll. And. Smoll. Dark. And. Light. Gfs.

4. Chloluka

This one has crept up on me more recently. I liked the idea of it back before we had Luka, but I think his mellow attitude could be good for Chloe if she ever gets her shit together. I have plans for them in Lady Luck eventually that I'm super excited about.

5. Kimax

I know Kimdine is canon basically but like Kimax is so good??? Two poc, a jock and a nerd so in love and supportive and soft and I just, my crops are watered. My skin is clear. I am thriving.

And for my general non-ML otps, in no particular order:

1. Sakusyao

Aka Sakura Kinomoto and Syaoran Li from Cardcaptor Sakura. Listen, when I heard that they were continuing the story in Clear Card I had a fangasm because they are so. fucking. precious. The second movie in the anime was such life and like the tension and second hand embarrassment that I felt for those two was another level. Love square who? Weredad what? Move the fuck over and let me tell you about these two precious beans that one confessed their love to and the other didn't know how they felt but then she decided and they traded bears so that they could stay in love forever because he had to go home to China and she waited for him to come back and he came to visit and then their friends pushed them together at every moment possible but they keep getting cock blocked anyway and then they get thrust into a romantic school play together because the male lead breaks his arm and they end up fighting a clow card together and you think that Syaoran sacrifices his feelings in the end to save the day but JUST KIDDING HE DIDN'T and she literally jumps into his arms and declares that she loves him and I die. That was a long ramble but I have a lot of feelings. Don't even get me started on those two in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

2. Amuto

Aka Amu Hinamori and Ikuto Tsukiyomi from Shugo Chara.

Now I know this ship is controversial because she is younger than him, but tbh their relationship is like such my jam. They sass each other, there's pining and denial of feelings, and not to mention Ikuto looks like a daddy but is actually a huge cinnamon roll and he doesn't try anything because she is younger than him and agrees to wait for her to grow up before they date. They're cute as fuck okay, and when she gets older they're gonna be even cuter as fuck.

3. Ichigo Momomiya/Masaya Aoyama

From Tokyo Mew Mew!

TMM was one of the first anime that I watched subbed as a kid. I remember waking up to watch the dub on Saturday mornings and my sister being like what is this garbage? Let me educate you, and so she let me read the manga and watch the subbed version and I shipped them so hard. Me and my friend have jokes that we need to find us a man as smooth as Aoyama-kun because hot damn that boy had game. "Oh, you have ears and a tail that pop out when you get excited/overstimulated? Here let me hug you and hide them." BITCH GOT MOVES.

4. Tohru Honda and Kyo Sohma

From Fruits Basket!

It has been a minute since I read FB but I remember my little shipper heart beating so fast when I finished the series as a kid because the ship sailed. I was a sucker for the bad boy turning soft when he finds a lady as a kid.

5. Kiri Koshiba/Shougo Narumi

From Beauty Pop!

So this was a manga I read as a kid or rather as a preteen and I really liked it. For anyone unfamiliar with it, it's a manga about hair styling and the main character comes from a family with a small hair salon and she is like super gifted at hair styling and there is a club of sorts at her school that is all dudes who run a big fancy salon where they pick a girl at school and give her a makeover and each guy does something different like nails, makeup, hair, etc and the guy who is the hair stylist (Shougo) becomes a super rival for Kiri because she is better than him and he knows it but he has a lot of pride and the downfall of his pride into begrudging admiration and affection was just so cute and satisfying to watch and they end up together in the end with little babies and their salons and it's super cute and I recommend you all read it if you can find it. I read it online forever ago, and if anyone finds a link to read it somewhere send it to me because I kind of want to reread it now that I've talked about it.

So there you go. I have so many ships and otps tbh, these were just the ones that came to mind first. I read a lot more as a kid, particularly manga which is why most of my general list is older. There are some anime/manga that I liked growing up that I have multiple ships in that I couldn't choose from, so some honorable mentions are: Hikaru/ Lantis, Fu/Ferio, Umi/Ascot from Magic Knight Rayearth. Ryo/Ichigo and Kish/Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew (I shipped all of them but Aoyama-kun was canon so). Nina Sakura/Hiroki Tsujiai from Ultra Maniac. Ash/Serena from Pokemon XY (yeah I shipped it, fight me). Link/Zelda. Kaname/Yuki and Yuki/Zero from Vampire Knight. Catradora and Catra/scorpia from the new She-ra. And just so many. I shipped a lot as a kid.

Anywho I tag anyone who wants to do this.

[puppy-phum]

Thank you for @notamonstur for tagging me ^^ (I listened to your songs, I liked them and I approve with you haha, those really suit Namjoon.) 

You left me with a hard task bc I’ve never thought about the boys when it comes to the music I listen to. Usually, some songs stick to the ships I love and I first thought about doing this for Vmon but decided against it. So this is the top 10 playlist tag, with a twist aka all these songs are dedicated to Namjoon (in my head and heart at least, so forgive the randomness).

one • these roots by grey

I think this song comes down to Namjoon’s love for his members and how the other boys act like his starting point in life (his “roots”). How they all go through the hardships together and still reach for the dreams they have. How they act like a family which is super beautiful and will continue being tight even when they’re not BTS anymore. 

two • glass heart by sam tinnesz 

This... I feel like it has everything to do with the struggles Namjoon has and what he sees the other members struggling with. How he has said that it’s hard to love himself and how his songs sometimes say that he wishes to die, how he possibly feels a bit powerless when he sees the others suffer. I think he, too, like all of us knows how easy it is to slip and to shatter. 

three • play me like a violin by stephen

The lyrics are a bit misleading in this, I think. Those are not the reason I chose this song. Somehow the whole feeling of this song screams Namjoon to me (and Taehyung but I promised not to make this about VMon), this whole relaxed flow. I can just imagine him cycling somewhere, looking at the nature around him and feeling happy. 

four • hymn for the missing by red

All of Red’s songs make me super sad, always. This one is one of those that has given me comfort over the years (I don’t know why bc this talks about such sad break up). Maybe this is what I’d like to say to Namjoon. I always feel protective over him and would really like to have a long conversation about life with him. Maybe this is me wishing that he’s not afraid or alone. 

five • oceans by jacob lee

This song is super sad, too. For me this gives hope, though. Namjoon does that same, with all of his words, with being so accepting and embracing the bad and good parts of life. This also reminds me about Namjoon saying that even if it’s hard, we can learn to love ourselves and it makes me somehow really happy.  

six • body by syml

So many of these songs are somehow related to Namjoon and his love yourself -struggles, I see. I just really admire that about him, that he talks about it and is so openly willing to accept that he can’t be perfect. I’m really proud of him, truly. I think this song also reflects on the growth he (and the others) has gone through during all these years. 

seven • dimple by bts

Ok this might seem silly but I just can’t complete this list without adding dimple. This song is about Namjoon 100% and you all can fight me on this (ok jk I just really love his dimples and I think it’s super sweet that they have this song)

eight • not alone by otto knows

Hmm. I think this song fits to Namjoon bc he’s, on someway, a free spirit. Bc he’s able to accept the good and the bad and knows how to work towards his goals, he can trust that whatever happens and wherever he goes, he’ll end up somewhere he wants to be. And I think I can also see him walking around, just because. Literally and figuratively. (and he’s not alone doing any of this) 

nine • invincible by breakaway

I feel like this describes how Namjoon (and the others too bc BTS has faced so much hate) faught against the haters and people telling him how he couldn’t make it. How he was told that he became a soldout when he became an idol. How some people still say that they don’t deserve what they have and they just sing for the haters bc there’s nothing anyone can do to break them down.

ten • i wait by day6

I adore this song and it gets me on good mood (even when it talks about something so sad and dark). I feel like the vibe fits Namjoon; he gets others on good mood and he knows how to say things and knows how to have fun and smiles and laughs but... He always has that dark side. He’s always caught up in his thoughts about life and is a bit serious. And I think it’s beautiful. 

So here it is ^^ This proved to be more difficult than I thought :’D But it was fun. Sorry I rambled a lot. 

I’ll tag a few people and you all can decide if you want to make the original version aka just pick your 10 favorite songs atm or make it a bit more exciting with some kinda twist. 

I’ll tag: @beeyeah @tatakoyaki-vmon @i-am-just-a-kiddo @lesbotanist @minbuwuty

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Lovely! I was wondering how you first became a part of the fandom? When did you start watching the show, at what point did you feel John and Sherlock might be(come) a thing, what made you start a blog on these two? I just want to know it all ^^ Hope you don't mind sharing a bit :) Thank you for everything you do for this fandom, love you lots!

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, what a nice question! I think I’ve talked about this in snippets in various posts, this post being the one talking the most about it, but never as a whole! Apologies if this turns into a long ramble, hah hah!

So I remember exactly when I got into the show SO CLEARLY. It was July of 2013, just a few months before S3 was to air in January 2014. I was over at my friends’ place, and they suggested the show to watch, since we always watch movies together whenever I visit. I remember asking, “Is that the show with Martin Freeman and that Khan actor from Star Trek 2?”. We finished Season one all in one go, and immediately fell in love with Ben and Martin’s portrayals and their chemistry. And then I had to head back home. I was ANGRY because OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT and my friends just laughed.

So as soon as I got home, I downloaded S1 and S2 and watched them ALL the way through. I needed more. So, because I already had a Tumblr and knew it was for fandoms, I decided to see what it had to offer. 

Oh boy what did I get into???

So I lurked for a bit, and then I discovered something called “meta”, back when the TRF theories were the prominent meta in the fandom. So while I was getting deep into meta, I started switching my fanart from Ninja Turtles to Sherlock, because I was warming up to Ben’s ethereal face and I wanted to draw it. And I wanted to be a Sherlock fanartist. I briefly shipped Sher1011ie for a week or so, until I rewatched the series again and it just didn’t jive like it did the first few watch-throughs. I was too invested in John and Sherlock’s friendship – I saw them as bestest friends ever, too devoted to each other.

Now, at this point, y’all need to remember this: I was naïve, have never been exposed at length nor ever heard of subtext, was and am not part of the LGBT community (I grew up in a different time and in a conservative city, so being “gay” just wasn’t a thing), had a very heteronormative view on my life, and I just had always just insisted that in all of my fandoms, when I liked two male characters together, it was because “bestest friends ever!!”. I didn’t know I was ace and I’d never read smut up until 3 years ago (yes hi hello I’m so old and so innocent LOL).

Okay, so I was just lurking for a bit, learning my way around fandom, reading meta and just generally dipping my toes quietly into the fandom.

Then came Season 3. 

As many of my followers know, a lot of my fondness for season 3 stems from this being the season that LITERALLY opened my eyes to EVERYTHING: subtext, Johnlock, my own sexuality, and my meta-writing career. 

So, season 3 aired and I decided to dip my toes into “reviewing” the episodes as my first “meta”. They were posted onto my multi-fandom blog here, here and here. I was so proud of them, because it reinvigorated my love for writing (I used to be a pretty prominent Sonic fan-fic author back in the 90′s… I never finished my stories because my interest in the fandom died before I finished them), despite how laughably bad they were, haha. I got a couple compliments on them, but nothing beyond that, especially since I sat down and wrote them for HOURS after each episode aired.

Sometime between TSo3 and HLV, I discovered loudest-subtext-in-television (aka LSiT) and deducingbbcsherlock completely by accident and I was FASCINATED. I ate up everything they wrote. The first time I watched TSo3, something was niggling at my brain but I couldn’t quite place it. It was one of LSiT’s meta that twigged at it. That’s when I learned about subtext, heteronormativity and the queer community. And suddenly, just like that, something in my brain clicked.

Oh. My god. This show is gay, and I actually SHIP these idiots like I did in the Mother Ship (ie. The X-Files Mulder / Scully). That’s why I was SO ANNOYED with Irene. Why Molly was slowly grating on me. Why Mary’s introduction kind of annoyed me but okay I guess I can deal with it. Why everything seemed really romantic but it just couldn’t be, could it? 

I rewatched the series. And it was gay. Y’all, those rainbow-coloured glasses were suddenly GLUED to my head, and I saw gay EVERYWHERE.

So, after HLV, I discovered The Johnlock Conspiracy and I was eating up all the meta about Johnlock I could. Around this time, I also was learning a lot about the LGBT community, its history and sexual fluidity from wsswatson. It was also around this time I discovered asexuality, and I started reading a lot about it. 

In February of 2014, I started this blog because I wanted a place to reblog Johnlock meta. This was the first post I made on this blog, and looking back at it now, I am DYING because wow I never imagined I was going to be this deep into the fandom the day I wrote that. I don’t even remember writing it, to be very honest. I just shake my head, HAH. I think I really started understanding Johnlock because of this post here. It’s still one of my favourites and is one of the ones I credit for helping me understand what I was watching was actually a romance, not a “crime show”. 

Anyway, after learning how to read subtext from mostly LSiT (they wrote a meta about how to read subtext and it was super informative) and other Johnlock bloggers, I wanted to try my hand at my own little Johnlock meta. It was more of an observational post, as my way of trying to interact with the fandom. I am a terribly nervous and shy person, so I never tagged anyone in anything. It was an overwhelming fandom, and it was terrifying to interact. A few bigger bloggers noticed me and were nice enough to comment on a couple of my posts, but I mostly stayed in my little corner, and interacted with my small little group of other smaller fans. I dabbled in both fanart and writing, just plopping my thoughts and art into the aether, hoping something would interest someone enough to start a discussion. 

I started getting braver, and I was “moderating” some of my favourite posts that weren’t mine, but had my additions to it. Mostly, the Phones and Hearts post. I didn’t want to impede, but it was one of my favourite posts, so I went and copied all of the comments in the notes and put them onto one post. I don’t honestly remember HOW I ended up moderating it, but I just did because I was FASCINATED with symbolism, and I was excited because I could finally read subtext and understand it. I still had a small following, and a few people I regularly interacted with on my blog.

So, during the hiatus between S3 and TAB, somewhere along the way I suddenly had a sexuality crisis, when I suddenly realized I wasn’t broken and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and damn it, there’s such thing as split attraction model and asexuality?? Mind was BLOWN. I was also slowly becoming obsessed with Mary’s character, and at the time I couldn’t understand why (inevitably, it was because of events happening in my own life and me trying to understand them), but I really enjoyed just psychoanalyzing her. It’s something I’ve ALWAYS loved doing – character studies; I’ve done it in EVERY fandom I’ve been in – and I was doing it for her, Sherlock and John’s characters. 

So yeah, nothing much really happened to me during the S3 hiatus, except my entire world view flipped on its head and I was completely Johnlocked beyond repair. I became known for some painful posts and some lovely revelations and writing a lot of character study posts on both John and Sherlock. I’m very proud of some of my earlier meta, just sad they never really got seen (some of my earliest meta can be seen on my Ao3).

Then came the announcement for TAB in 2015, and the start of my “Tumblr Career”. I put a lot of my energy into my fandom life. I was OBSESSED with TAB, and became known for it. I put my moderation skills to use and created the TAB Starter Pack, which started gaining me some followers because OMG some loser is taking the time out of their day to compile all the news about this new series! AWESOME. I remember, it was around this time I was excited because I got to 1895 followers and it was one of those milestones all Johnlockers like having, hahah. 

In October of 2015, I lost my job and was unemployed. Conveniently, this is also the time when the promo season for TAB started, because we now had a name and airdate. I devoted a LOT of my time, when I wasn’t job hunting, to working on this blog. I was just writing a lot, and obsessing about the upcoming episode.

Then the trailer aired.

And immediately after that trailer dropped on October 24, 2015, I made this post here, which, some would probably say, was the beginning of everything for me. As I was writing that post, with a cracking headache, something clicked in my head, and several hours later, I had written and posted the original Mind Palace Theories of TAB at 2AM-ish, and went to bed.

When I woke up, my post had suddenly gone viral and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it just kept expanding from there, and I made sure to include everything I could onto it, because WOW something I wrote was gaining traction, and interaction, and I just wanted us all to have a good time with it. And as the time for TAB drew closer, suddenly I was gaining followers, and more people interested in what I had to write. I welcomed everyone to continue to predict the outcome with me.

January 1st. Was a complete and total mind fuck. I was liveblogging the episode, and inadvertently created another viral post with my Mycroft’s Death post because FUCK ARE THEY KILLING MYCROFT OFF?? kind of freaked people out (sorry loves!), which gained me some more followers, and at the time, my top post was my December 31st reblog of my Mind Palace Theories post, so anyone who came to my blog, it would have been on the first page of it.

After the episode aired, suddenly, EVERYONE had questions for me, about EVERYTHING, but mostly to scream at me that I was a mind reader, LOL. No, I’m not, I was just a sad, unemployed twat with too much time on my hands and was avoiding job hunting. But good god, all DAY on Jan 1, I was replying to asks, gaining followers like crazy, and pretty much just stating my opinion on anything that someone wanted to know. 

I became known as the unofficial TAB blog, and the one to come to with questions about my interpretation of the episode. I was SO obsessed with TAB, studied every nuance and narrative structure I could. 2016 was “my heyday”, and it was fun. I found my niche, and meta-writing is what I became known for. And until I got a job in April of that year, I was a pretty solid presence in the fandom, if I understand some of what I’ve been told correctly. I still ran my blog as full-time as I could having a full-time job, and still do in some ways, but yeah, 2016 is when I produced a LOT of meta, mostly Mary meta because, as I said above, I was and am obsessed with her character arc. I was learning about myself a lot more by writing meta, and my “original” meta turned into “asks” meta, which was fine by me, because I do like a good prompt to get me going.

Somewhere in there I also somehow became the blog new bloggers came to, which I didn’t and don’t mind at all, because being new in a fandom is scary and I wanted to be a friendly face because I like meeting new people. 

Then we got an announcement for S4, and like TAB I also kept track of anything and everything S4-related, so once again I was sort of the “go-to” place for everything S4 because I compiled all the stuff from setlock bloggers and listed them all for easy-access. I kept track of everything promotional, and I reblogged some of my favourite pre-S4 meta here.

Essentially, I LOVE organizing things, and people liked that I LOVED doing it, so that’s sort of how I kept my following when I wasn’t posting as much new meta. I did make a few original meta before S4, and I made a 68 day video countdown to the series which is cringy AF and I’m not linking it (lol you can find it if you look hard enough). 

We all know what happened in S4. I took a bit of heat after S4 aired, because I got people’s hopes up. I was discouraged for a bit, but then I started receiving asks that weren’t really asks, but “I need advice” and “I need support”. 

And I started answering life questions, and realized people LIKED my responses, liked my little personal anecdotes in each of my replies, and felt comforted by it. So, after S4 aired, I became an eclectic mix of life advice, meta, fics, music and TJLC / tinhatting blog. I have a “no judgement” approach to my blogging, and I think that’s why I’m still gaining a steady dozen or so followers every couple weeks, rather than losing. The only time I took a big hit was the Tumblr Feedpocalypse, where they fucked up the algorithm and I’m not getting nearly as many hits on my posts as I used to, but that could also be because we lost so many people to S4, especially after Jan 1, 2018 when people were hoping for another episode.

I personally don’t think I’m popular, but I suppose I am by Tumblr standards. I dunno, I think we all have that “starry eyed” view of popular bloggers, and I just can’t picture myself as someone anyone would fawn over. I’m just me, and you can take it or leave it.

I think where I’m at now and what I’m known for is a good place to be, to be honest, despite how S4 turned out. I’m not certain, but I FEEL like I have a positive reputation here, but don’t quote me. I know I have people in this fandom who hate me, and quite frankly it saddens me that they feel they need to expel energy on me that way when they deserve to just be happy and forget about me. 

ANYWAY, sorry that got long and rambly, but it’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile, but I was waiting for the prompt to come because *shrugs* I dunno, self esteem thing, makes me think no one REALLY cares until someone actually asks, hah.

And if you made it all the way to the end here, Love ya Nonny, and thank you for asking and thank you for being a follower of my blog

[niennavalier]

Stupid YGO rambling beneath the cut, please ignore me (also...maybe spoilers? idk if the English dub of Arc-V is finished yet and just read shit online, but I rambled/ranted(ish) about it below, too)

So...I got bored and caught myself up somewhat on YGO summoning methods (by which I mean the two newest ones cause up to XYZ made perfect sense without that much explanation) and like holy shit things have gotten so convoluted. Just...ughhhh what. I did some reading and it sounds like Pendulum is highkey broken (and I’ll be honest, I agree) but imo it’d be fun to use as support for Synchro and XYZ (by which I mean yes it’s broken but I honestly have never had anything against those two other summoning methods - they’re fairly easy, unlike Fusion or Ritual, and just generally play well). (Actually I’ve liked the idea of Ritual since the start because original series will always be the supreme nostalgia thing, but it’s just not super viable any more so...and I swear it’s pretty much completely forgotten in the anime, which is just a bit disappointing). So now with the whole Link summoning and just generally the way the new board is set up, it feels like it’d be really restricting for a lot of reasons. Although I’m guessing that’s to counteract just how ridiculous Pendulum is. But it also ends up cutting spell/trap zones, which doesn’t sit well with me. And I’m just...why. This game has gotten to be too much. I’ll always love it and wanna come back to playing it (part of why I got the game on my laptop, but it’s sorta frustrating cause I’m not a fan of Fusion summoning and that’s the best it has at the moment) but seriously. Magic has a way better model cause basic summoning methods and the freaking board don’t change. It’s all just getting to be too much

And if you’re wondering why I looked this up (just typing here instead of blowing up my tags). I’ve been randomly watching clips from Arc-V cause I can actually stomach watching them - the voice acting is pretty decent for the most part (although I do prefer the older series). Unlike Zexal, which kinda took me out of the entire fandom for a while, cause I can’t watch it. Period. The voices aggravate me too much. Or...voice. But whatever. I heard its story actually isn’t bad, but I can’t get through 10 seconds of it. So shame Arc-V apparently has really iffy writing, cause I don’t actually have many qualms with it on the surface. That and I think I found a fave for the series. But anyway, I’ve read through bits of the story, and my main issue with what I’ve seen is that the ending just straight up doesn’t make sense? Like, their main conflict is done before the actual end of the show, and I’ve yet to understand what the entire point of the ending is. (AKA should’ve just ended on the high note by beating the main antagonist - unlike DM, in which you can devote a few more eps after the Memory World arc cause the Ceremonial Duel was the real thing that the shows been building toward). That and apparently...the counterparts don’t come back? Which...is such a waste of good characters? I mean, I dunno how much time they devote to developing those characters, but when you have a way to fix ‘deaths’ (did they die? who knows? not me) I don’t see a reason why that shouldn’t be taken advantage of, unless you have a really specific reason not to that ties into a character’s personal development (ala Uncle Ben is the only permanent death in all of comics I swear). But from what I hear, they don’t bring them back? And...why not? Especially for reasons that tie into my other complaint: just watching clips, and they’re really heavy handed about stuff, particularly with the main character? Like, he has this really optimistic belief system that just gets kinda completely unrealistic at certain points. So it gets annoying to hear at times. But that’s the character they keep around, and the one I think I like more has to stay ‘dead’? I guess it fits with that whole optimism that they try to do with the end of the show, but the main arc did get really dark, so ...I’m just not the biggest fan.

[itssoweirdyoureher]

About Me: A Ramble

@a-collection-of-nonsense tagged me in a post to talk about myself, which is difficult for me because my mind always goes blank when I’m asked about myself. It’s like all of a sudden I know absolutely nothing about the last 23 years of my life? IDK but I’m going to TRY for my new Anti-Adult Adult Club friend! (ALSO I’m confused if your name is Em, or if you were using em like ‘about ‘em’ and ‘em is referring to people in general.) So for clarification sake, my name is Rachel, and I get confused by the simplest of things sometimes.

Appearance:

My appearance is EVER CHANGING. The one standard is my curly hair, which has a mind of its own, but even that has been chilling out recently—oh the joys of age. I dye my hair regularly, so it’s usually red or auburn, but my natural color is brown. I haven’t been blonde since I was like 8?

My glasses have also been a staple of my appearance for about the last 3 years? I used to wear contacts 24/7 and would never let anyone see me in my glasses; however, I had eye surgery and now the idea of putting things in my eyes is a BIG thing, so glasses it is.

I’m 5’5 and a HALF, and am constantly torn between dressing like I’m a NYC socialite in gossip girl and Jessica Jones. I’m usually Jessica Jones.

Personality:

This is the hard part? I’m bad at describing myself. I’m sarcastic and brutally honest, but only if I think someone can handle it at the time. FOR EXAMPLE, my friend was going through a rough break up a few years back, and all he wanted was to be coddled, but I gave him advice that I knew he could use once he wasn’t an emotional mess---but only because I knew he had other people taking care of his emotions etc. at the time; it would have been a different story if I knew he only had me to rely on—then I’d be handing out the spoons and pints of ice cream like Oprah.

I’m pretty cynical (very much like my earlier Jessica Jones reference), but I’m super optimistic when it comes to other people because I care SO much about the people I love—and just helping people in general.

Ability:

I’m really good at mediating, if that’s considered a skill? It appeases my nosiness, but I also love helping people, so I enjoy putting myself in each person’s shoes and explaining their motives/emotions/etc. to the other person.

I also really enjoy editing (aka my life’s passion at this point, so writers hmu ;))

Hobbies:

HAH I have a lot of hobbies that I used to love, but no longer do? I used to play volleyball and ride horses, but chronic pain and a body trying to self-destruct really gets in the way of things like hobbies.

I mostly stick to reading, watching movies/tv shows (yes I consider that a hobby), and playing video games (lol I’m a nerd, but I’m playing the new Zelda game for the switch, and I’M IN HEAVEN).

OH I’m also constantly on the hunt for the best ramen. (I’m a foodie that can’t really cook—it’s a hard knock life).

Experiences:

1.     Graduated college last year after going to exactly 4 different schools, being enrolled at 5, and actually being a full time student at 3 at the same time once.

2.     Had surgery on both of my eyes at the UCLA medical center—which may seem like a weird thing to mention, but it was a defining moment in my life for many reasons.

3.     Tackled my fear and finally visited NYC last year, and even after having my credit card stolen, being followed to my hotel room by a creepy guy, and being there during the terrorist attack, I didn’t hate it.

4.     Made two super awesome friends from high school that I wasn’t actually friends with while I was in high school lol.

5.     Went snowboarding in Canada and parasailing in Hawaii (That’s the coolest I could make myself sound, guys, seriously I’m the most boring person).

6.     Quit my assistant teaching job and moved halfway across the country with my parents to help with my grandpa. 

My life: 

My life...is in limbo right now. I graduated college and am trying to get into the publishing industry, but it is muy difícil. I quit my teaching job and moved across the country over the holidays, so I’m feeling super lost and unsure about my lifeeee (I told you I was a horrible adult). Also, ya know, there’s the whole living with my parents thing going on, which is totally cramping my love life (which has also been non-existent. Thanks, self-destructing body). I’m a FAKE 23 year old, people. I have -100000 of the experiences you should have at my age, but THAT’S OKAY. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself—spread positivity and all that, right?

Random stuff:

·       I used to have 1 horse, 1 pony, 1 goat, 1 pig, 2 cats, 1 dog, 2 birds, and 2 guinea pigs all at the same time. I only have 1 dog, 1 cat, and 2 birds now. My zoo is no longer a zoo.

·       I used to help my sister babysit the ferrets of Sarah Gruen when I was like 4? It was weird, but awesome.

·       My pony, whose name was Mouse, bucked me into a wall once because a chicken spooked him.

·       I am currently deciding whether I want to go back for my masters in English. If anyone has advice and/or lives near a good school and wants a roommate (the economy sucks for real), let me know.

I tag literally anyone who follows me because I want to know more about you (tag me in your posts!).

[haydenstudiesblog-blog]

92 Statements Tag!

Rules: Answer / complete the statements and tag 20 people [optional].

Thanks @wisteria-and-honeysucklefor tagging me :)

I’m just gonna tag now: @emmastudies @teaandstudythings @pippistudies

LAST:

1. Drink - milk  2. Phone call - my sister 3. Text message - my boyfriend 4. Song you listened to - a song on the radio that I didn’t know lol 5. Time you cried - 2 days ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice - yup! My current boyfriend haha 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yes 8. Been cheated on - yes 9. Lost someone special - yes 10. Been depressed - yes  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - got drunk and threw up in the morning BUT I FELT PERFECTLY FINE AFTER SO NO REGRETS

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: navy blue, rose gold, charcoal gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends - yes 16. Fallen out of love - yes 17. Laughed until you cried - yes omg 18. Found out someone was talking about you - nope 19. Met someone who changed you - yes 20. Found out who your friends are - yes and I’m thankful for that 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list - yes

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life? oh god maybe like half haha but I don’t have that many  23. Do you have any pets? yes I have a dog named Lilly Beans 24. Do you want to change your name? nope 25. What did you do your last birthday? went out to eat haha nothing exciting (as my again after my 21st in March *wink wink*) 26. What time did you wake up? 6:00 AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night? girl I was asleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: my vacation and going back to school and visiting my boyfriend at his school (aka the school I’m trying to transfer to (not just because he’s there I am in love with their writing program)) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? currently staring at her lol 30. What’s one thing you wish you could change in your life? I wish I had gone on college visits and hadn’t just gone to my current uni just because my sister is there AND I wish I would’ve gone with my gut in the beginning and gone into publishing because I wasted 2 years trying to find something else to go into only to go back to that now haha sorry I’m rambling bye  31. What are you listening to right now? the real housewives of NYC talk to each other drunk on vacation (Bethany is my fav) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yeah! 33. Something that is getting on your nerves - my shitty internet 34. Most visited websites - tumblr, youtube, pinterest, Google (mail and Sheets)

RANDOM:

35. Mole(s) - yes  36. Mark(s) - I have a scar on/under my belly button from my incision for my surgery a few years ago and a super tiny scar between my belly button and nether regions where my drain was (”it won’t scar” my ASS) 37. Childhood dream - be a singer like Hannah Montana (yes including the double life I’m not proud of this stage) 38. Hair color - it’s been described as “dirty dish water” kind of an ugly light brown but I’m starting to get low lights to darken it 39. Long or short hair - medium-- a little past my shoulders, short hair suits me better imo but I’ve always had long hair to my butt  40. Do you have a crush on someone? haha yeah my boyfriend and like every actor in the Marvel/DC movies and Eddie Redmayne 41. What do you like about yourself? I can write better than anyone I know, I’m good at spelling words (so lame what), and I like that I have thick hair. 42. Piercings - no I’m too much of a wuss to get anything pierced even my ears 43. Blood type - wait should I know this??? 44. Nickname - "H” “Lil H” “Hay” “HayHay” “Hayden Marie” feel free to call me any of these my favs are “H” and “Hay” 45. Relationship status - taken! 46. Zodiac sign - pisces 47. Pronouns - She/her 48. Favorite TV Show - Parks and Rec, The Office, Jane the Virgin, Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce, Real Housewives (most of them) 49. Tattoos - no but hopefully soon! 50. Right or left hand - Right 51. Surgery - I’ve had two   52. Hair dyed in different color - omg I tried to go blonde in middle school and it looked horrible I have all the regret in the world 53. Sport - I played volleyball and basketball all throughout high school (track in middle school) 54. Was missing from the previous person’s post. 55. Vacation - I’m gonna list all of mine because fun! Disney World, Florida about a million times, drove to Georgia, road trip out West, Cancun, and I’m about to take a road trip out East!

56. Pair of trainers - I just got a super basic pair of Adidas

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating - basically anything unhealthy I’m awful 58. Drinking - Mountain Dew, milk, water, anything Smirnoff 59. I’m about to - go eat something and watch Jane the Virgin 60. mood: exhausted 61. Waiting for - sleep 62. Want - more time, to write a best-seller 63. Get married - hopefully in the future and hopefully to the guy I’m with :) 64. Career - editor, work at a publishing company, hopefully write my own book someday 

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses - Hugs but also love kisses 66. Lips or eyes - eyes! 67. Shorter or taller - doesn’t matter 68. Older or younger - younger I guess (my boyfriend is a few months younger and a grade behind me) 69. Movies or books? : books always but I love a good movie 70. Nice arms or nice stomach - both? omg I’m kidding I don’t care 71. Sensitive or loud - I’m really sensitive so I need someone sensitive but I can be loud so I need that too? Why can’t we have both? 72. Hookup or relationship - relationship, BUT if I weren’t in my current relationship maybe I’d just go for hookup. It’s a life I’ve never experienced

73. Troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger - nope 75. Drank hard liquor - haha no girl. I stick to my Smirnoff, Pine Apple-Ritas (I think?? I was drunk when I tried these the first time), and Long Islands (these bitches fuck me up bad but they’re so good) 76. Lost glasses / contact lenses - I don’t wear glasses but I’m convinced I need them 77. Turned someone down - yes :( 78. Sex on the first date - uh NO I’m too shy for that 79. Broken someone’s heart - god I hope not but probably (I don’t mean that in a self-righteous way or something) 80. Had your heart broken - haha yeah it’s great 81. Been arrested - no 82. Cried when someone died - of course 83. Fallen for a friend - uh yeah and now we’re dating lol (he wasn’t into me at first but don’t worry guys I annoyed him until he caved and now he can never leave)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself - I’m told that I don’t as much as I should but I’m working on it 85. Miracles - kind of but also not really? 86. Love at first sight - hell no 87. Santa Claus - no :( 88. Kiss on the first date - hey sure why not

OTHER:

89. (missing but I made this one up) favorite book: asking me what my favorite book is is the equivalent of asking me which parent is my favorite 90. Current best friend’s name - Jacob (my boyfriend, not ashamed, he’s the best) 91. Eye color - like blue gray 92. Favorite movie - Star Wars: A New Hope

[renewedmotionforjudgment]

10 + 11 questions tag

Thank you @shenmeizhuang for tagging me!

A. Always post the rules. Answer the questions then write (10 or 11?) new ones.

B. Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Tell the person who tagged you that you’ve answered their questions.

My questions:

Favorite heroine.

Favorite drama trope.

Name a character that you initially liked but came to dislike.

Least favorite drama trope.

What dramas do you think should be 20 episodes shorter?

Favorite example of trope dissection/dispellation. 

Favorite time travel drama.

What historical figure would you like to see a drama about?

What type of plot twist would you like to see more?

What is the worst plot twist you have seen in a drama?

Favorite villain or antagonist?

Hua Fei, from the Legend of Zhen Huan/后宫 甄嬛传.  For all of her bad traits -- callousness, selfishness, a tendency to want to murder her enemies -- you can’t help but to feel bad for her.  And at Yongzheng for treating her like he did.  And I think that’s what I truly loved about Zhen Huan -- even the antagonists were fleshed out and multi-dimensional.

A honorable mention would be Ulanara Yi Xiu/Huang Hou from Zhen Huan.  

Favorite character trope/archetype?

Interestingly, when it comes to female characters, I am willing to give any character trope a try if the storyline is good.  That said, I notice I do gravitates more towards dramas where it’s “carefree young woman getting entangled in political drama and then internalizes too much.”  Aka Bu Bu Jing Xin, Glory of the Tang Dynasty, Imperial Doctress, to some extent Singing All Along.

As for guys, because I inevitably end up watching palace dramas/court dramas, I am a sucker for “I am a prince/emperor with all the duties in the world including polygamy but I only have one true love” type of character  (see above dramas).  I swear this post will not become my rambling on Glory of the Tang Dynasty, Part 3.

Least favorite character trope/archetype?

The Evil Secondary Girl(TM) in modern dramas.  I give the trope a little bit more leeways in palace dramas because backstabbing and all are I guess historically accurate (maybe? lol) but the evil second girl trope in modern drama makes my eye twitch.  

The biggest example I can think of is Ha Jae Kyung from Boys Over Flowers.  I have many many issues with that drama (don’t get me started on what they did with Jun Pyo that even Lee Min Ho can’t save), but the drama never gave a reason for why she was the Evil Secondary Girl (TM).  Yes she’s betrothed to Jun Pyo, whichl from all indications was arranged by her parents.  The drama never gave an indication as to why she’s so attached to Jun Pyo, other than this supposed betrothal that was arranged by other people. 

Least favorite drama trope

Love stories where the jerk of the main character (always the dude) remains a jerk to everyone else but the Main Love Interest(TM). 

Blackmail stories, like Sealed with a Kiss.  It’s not as much romantic as just plain creepy.

Name a character that you initially disliked but came to love

Wei Zi Fu from The Virtuous Queen of Han.  It wasn’t even that I initially disliked her character -- I just found her character really boring and a little bit insufferable by how good she is as a human being.  But then by the end of the drama I was pretty much HURT ZI FU AND I CUT YOU, YES INCLUDING YOU LIU CHE.  

Favorite multi-season drama?

I don’t really watch a lot of multi-season drama that’s not in English, to be honest? I guess if you count Glory as multi-season.

That said, I have high hopes for the 2nd season of Dr. Qin Medical Examiner. 

Favorite example of trope dissection/dispellation.

Bu Bu Jing Xin.  It took the trope of “amazing heroine that everyone loves” and shred my heart to pieces.

Favorite time travel drama.

Bu Bu Jing Xin again.  I haven’t watched the Myth yet (honestly, I know that it ends up super angsty and I keep chickening out because of that), and while I enjoy Gong for the time traveling palace Boys Over Flower adaptation that Yu Zheng kept denying, Bu Bu Jing Xin is just so tightly and well written, well acted, beautiful, and dramatic but never over the top.   

Choose a period drama, sageuk, or wuxia that you would like to time travel to

Most of the period drama and wuxia that I watch end up with 90% of the cast dying so I am not sure if I actually want to time travel to any of them.  At this point, probably Glory of the Tang Dynasty so I can talk some sense into Li Chu and Zhen Zhu during certain plot points.  And also because I feel like Li Chu occasionally needs a Get A Grip Friend.

Historical event/time period/historical figure(s) that you want to see a show explore.

I am not sure, really.  I would love to see an epic political drama of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period that wasn’t overwrought with romantic melodrama a la Qing Shi Huang Fei.

Name a show with the best (most intensive yet reasonable/plausible) plot twists.

Bu Bu Jing Xin.  I guess it was not a plot twist because I knew history and what happened between the fourth and eighth prince, but the deterioration of their relationship throughout the drama was actually made in a way that was super reasonable and plausible even though it broke my heart.

I’m tagging @cdramaddict, @dangermousie, @shenmeizhuang.  I realize that I don’t talk with my mutuals a lot, but anyone who wants to answer can :) 

[smittenbysizablesinners-blog]

About Me

Name: Ronnie (Ron/Ronn or Ronnster is an okay substitute) | I also go by Tequila sometimes. (or Tequi for short). So that would leave ~5 suitable names to address me by! I have no preferences out of them.

Age: in my 20s (probably older than you :P)

Sex+Gender: CisFemale Sexuality: Heteromantic Pansexual (*maybe* more on demiromantic range in romantic-ness... or i’m just super awkward/easily entertained. maybe all of the above, haha) Height: 5′5″ (i don’t rp as myself really so it’s not like this info is relevant. lol. i wish i wasn’t quite as tall.. like being like 4′11 - 5′2 would have been nice... but i’m under 5′6″, albeit just barely, so that’s good at least i s’pose..) Ethnicity: Italian/Eastern European/English/German (+small bit of Turkish) American (basically Caucasian but I have a dark skin tone for a caucasian - olive skin from my Southern Italian and Eastern European (Slavic) [plus that tiny bit of Turkish in me] heritage). I’m technically Jewish as well as my mom’s mom’s mom (my great grandma) was Jewish and so on, but my grandma and mother were raised Catholic, and my dad was raised Catholic so I was raised Catholic (before I left the church as a teen / around 9th grade i left. Shortly after being confirmed in reality, ahaha xD;) Job: Unemployed atm *sobs* but sometimes i help friends or family with odds and ends for money. i used to do colouring commissions (digital). But I usually too to long and would end up feeling guilty about that so i stopped... And now I’m busier than before so I’d like to create content on my own terms with the free time i have. i’m also a student again. Psychology was a mistake. Now going for a International Politics/Studies/Relatioins | Global Peacekeeping degree and my goal is either to do something for state department or work for a non profit or something. I don’t aim to be rich and super successful. Simply being safe, happy, and satisfied is good enough for me. Though perhaps this stunts my motivation towards bettering myself (through good work ethic and stuff. i’m kind of a procrastinating potato person). Likes: G/t (hence having two G/t blogs; G/t is giant/tiny. if you aren’t cool w/ that then idk why you are here??? this blog is for G/t. Not necessarily sfw stuff either. This blog is NC-17+! (so if you are 16 or younger gtfo); I also like everything International - cultures; politics; languages ; architecture; art; FOOD :9 ; places; fauna; I LOVE CELEBRATING THE DIVERSITY OF THIS PLANET  TTvTT ; I’m  a rather liberal person socially, politically and so on. I will never be okay with bigotry of any kind. And I will not tolerate it. Nor bullying. Uhm. Let’s see. i’m kinda sorta socialist and thus kinda have some disdain towards capitalism I’m pro-choice but I hope that you have a good reason for it and not just because “it feels better w/o the condom”; if your all about that, i’d suggest maybe female condoms - though a little wonky at first - they allow for more sensation on both sides. They also can be used as ‘dental dams’. And i’m fairly certain they are free  w/ most insurances. And they can be put in and stay in for hours before use - so you (if female) good go out and have fun and hook up and not ruin the heat of the moment by condom putting on and stuff. Just saying. (hey this IS a nsfw blog, might as well give some nsfw advice haha.) I’m agnostic though I’m sorta leaning towards atheism. I’m just do paranoid/unsure of everything to totally discount religion/a higher being/etc. I just  sorta seriously doubt it. I am not fond of how religion has affected this planet now and throughout the past. But I can’t deny there are benefits to being religious and don’t hold it against people for being religious nor do i blame certain religions for the world’s problems. And Islamophobia, Antisemitism and anything anti-religion in such ways as the two before mentioned things counts as bigotry in my book and if you recall i don’t tolerate bigotry of any kind! I think the world kind sucks because people kinda suck in general, haha. I will never judge anyone personally. I may feel on the inside personal/hurt/angry feels, but I will do my best not to let it cloud my judgement of anyone permanently and it would take a LOT of hate and harassment for me to block anyone. I don’t like blocking people. I feel that is sorta like denying a person’s existence and sorta says ‘you aren’t worthwhile as a person’. And you have to be a total all-encompassing shithead for me to think that. That being said, I know some people with block very easily and my blog just being nsfw content-friendly would lead to blocking. a message stating why you are blocking me - especially if it’s nothing personal - would be nice, however, as I’m a VERY PARANOID person. Speaking of paranoia. I’m mentally ill. This is really  why I write and/or talk a lot. It is a habit out of nerves and awkwardness. And my poor attention span makes long conversation hard - barring if going off into tangets is okay. I will do that a lot. I have one mode and that mode is stream of conciousness. I know my use of many many words can be annoying. Trust me. I know. Please don’t harass me about it. If it truly makes you anxious, reach out to me, and I will try hard to be more concise when reblogging you or if ever addressing you. That is if you’d feel comfortable asking me this. I may not block people easily, but that doesn’t mean won’t. And that’s just a reality that I have to live with. I accept this. But yeah, basically if I upset you in anyway, let me know! I am always trying to better myself. The hardest thing for me would be to not ramble. If it’s something like a certain topic or word bothers you. And I’m currently not tagging it. Let me know. I’m gonna try and be super diligent (and not so rambly) with tags on this particular blog at the very least. though i should do that on every blog tbh...) Anyways, back to being mentally ill. I have Bipolar Disorder Type II (maybe, that is. just switched psychiatrists and my new one things I may just have regular general depressive disorder as my “up” moments are very infrequent and all I really do is be more impulsive/talkative/jittery/etc than usual... and my mood tends to be good when ‘up’.. too bad it comes with the loss of common sense. I don’t do anything physically dangerous though. Worst would be buying something expensive and stupid for no good reason. I’ve done that a few times. 0/10 would recommend, haha. I also have OCD (which is like useless. it gives me extreme focus, but mostly with dumb things - lists, aphabetizing things, researching stuff on the Internet, basically the only good thing is that I can research like a boss, though bad thing is that i end up spending way too much time researching and over do it... I already mentioned my anxiety awhile back, but I’ve been diagnosed with both General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder (i can practically be agoraphobic sometimes and have reculsive spells both online and off - which is why i probably will disappear at some point. maybe i’d come back. maybe i wouldn’t. and if i come back, it could be years before i do. i don’t know so you definitely wouldn’t know so puh-lease do not get attached to me ;___; G/t stuff: The truth is - I mostly like fluff and nice, kind, sfw stuff. At least as a viewer. As I content creator, I like to experiment and broach all kinds of topics, some sensitive. I will have characters that are genuinely bad people. Often I like dark characters that go through some sort of redemption. But I’ve toyed with doing something that is akin to ‘the making of a villain’ where a character starts out benevlent and than after going through some stuff, becomes malicious, perhaps downright evil even... a loss of self maybe have ocurred. I am not shy in having characters with imperfections, but in a realistic way that isn’t bad. I mean, it’s not ideal, but it happens. like blindness or a missing limb. many scars. mental illnesses are frequent in my characters and sometimes in a criminally insane way. However, I aim to reflect reality in such sort of topics, so of course criminally insane characters would be a very small minority compared to perfectly safe mentally ill characters. But, in any case, as I said, I plan on using extensive tags this blog WILL have (some) VORE. But it is NOT the focus of the blog and I don’t really draw vore - well i haven’t really done so yet... And in writing, I tend to making a horror element. Though I am somewhat fond of  “safe” (platonic or not) vore.. I’m rather confused about it and have a hard time considering plausible within my own content. So in my writing it would be fatal and not with any main characters of anything...mostly just poor SOBs and such... Basically, it would be quality content for the vore community as it would likely portray vore as despicable and wrong. As, in a real life scenario, that would be a correct assumption. These would be worlds w/o safe vore (barring i guess immediate puking, but i’m actually kinda disturbed/freaked by things vomit-related. So I’m not sure i’d be able to write that... Maybe i could. It’s just RL vomit that causes me to panic and cry. Drawn stuff or written stuff, as long as it’s not too descriptive or realistic doesn’t really bother me, though i’m not sure i’d say i like it.). Some vore stuff actually upsets me. But thing with me is, I never know when something is going to upset (aka make me cry/angry/uncomfortable/panicky) or whatever, so I just live with any unfortunate run ins with feels as it happens and then move on. Unless, I feel it is condoning a poor behavior and gives a message that is not in line with what you (the writer) indicates it is, then I’ll just nothing. And if i do say something, it won’t be in a hostile way, it would just be hey, x action actually kinda indicates y because of z. just thought i’d let you know if interpretations of this that reflects what i just by readers would bother you. if not, or if you disagree, than that’s cool too. I was just staying that just in case that would bother you and thus maybe you’d want to change things. but it’s totally your decision and i’m not pushing either way. blah blah some rambling because i’m trying not be offending while likely saying things that may offend. I have a hard time not being blunt and firm with my words. So basically take anything I say with a grain of salt. Sometimes I open my mouth when i shouldn’t. If I made you upset, just let me know what i did and why it upset you and i’ll apologize (within reason. like if you were a jerk and i was just like ‘oh stop that shit already’, i’m not gonna say sorry if you were legitmately being a jerk. but otherwise, i’m quick to say ‘sorry’. i’m always saying sorry. sometimes i’m wanting to say sorry but i’m too anxious too. so keep that in mind as well. Uhm. I like M/f and M/m content the most. F/f is p. cool too. Poly Relations that mixes M/m, M/f and/or F/f are cool too (all types of combos as long as there are no “m” with a “F”...not to knock on that, just isn’t my thing.. So yeah, as I hinted, i’m noot really a fan of F/m.. and I’m not gonna make much content with that (though i do have a canon F/m pairing in one of my worlds/series/story/idk what to call it. don’t expect much of them though.). But in all honest, there’s a lot of F/m stuff out there and my content isn’t mediocre at best so it’s not really a loss to the F/m community that i’m not doing much of that.Also, please don’t request content. I may see on your blog at some point you wish there was ‘x’ and/or ‘y’ content and this may prompt me to write or draw something like that. but it might not either. In a nutshell, I do what I what when I want. I know that’s kinda selfish but that mindset - when in connection with just leisure activities keeps me sane!You can ask any question. I just might not answer. If I’m not gonna answer, I respond with something random. And I’m unlikely to respond with drawings. Too much effort. Sorry.In theory, I’d like to RP. But I’m just not the right kind of person for a serious RP. i’d only want to do a detailed, literate story RP and i’d only be able to do like one respond a day - if that. So it’s kinda a waste of someone’s time to RP with me.  And I think I’d just prefer to write drabbles/one-shots or draw my characters or whatever. I don’t give my characters enough love. They kind just sorta chill in my mind not doing anything a vast majority of the time, haha xD So long story short, I’m not RPing currently. Sorry. And if/when I RP, I am not myself. I separate my interest/fantasy of G/t with my reality. Just trying to keep sane. Not trying to knock on people whom identify as a giant or tiny or whateverIDK what else to say. Probably am missing important stuff, while writing too much frivolous stuff, heh... I’ll probably edit this every now and that ^^