#aka i'm certain i've written more in this post

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[liu-anhuaming]

all my mandarin dictionaries (and dictionary-adjacent books)

Through chatting with @don-dake and @cherrymintvampyyri, I've come to realize that I might own a less than normal number of Mandarin dictionaries. So, here's a post about all of them.

I do have two basic bilingual dictionaries (Mandarin/English): the Langenscheidt pocket dictionary and the DK visual dictionary. These are quite easy to buy and not that interesting imo, so I'm not gonna talk further about them.

I'm also going to include a couple books that aren't technically dictionaries, but are rather about etymology of characters, and that's close enough to count for me.

Okay, let's get on to the interesting stuff!

1. What Character is That? An Easy-Access Dictionary of 5,000 Chinese Characters by Ping-gam Go (second edition, 1995)

bilingual

This strange little dictionary was gifted to me by a nun who went to high school with my grandma and later lived in China as a missionary. It's organized alphabetically based on the English translation of each radical?

I have not used this dictionary for actual reference ever, because I flipped through it once and realized that it was absolutely whack. But it's cool to have I guess.

2. 新华字典 第11版

monolingual

This little guy was gifted to me by a Chinese classmate back when I was in college. It's a 字典, so it's just focused on defining individual characters and providing some words featuring that character. Despite being a mainland dictionary, it also has 注音 next to each character for some reason.

It's got some neat stuff towards the back, like the periodic table and a chart of all the 節氣 solar terms.

3. 小学生全笔顺 同义词 近义词 反义词 组词 造句 成语 多音多义字 词典

monolingual

Whew, that's a mouthful. This is an actual 词典, so it defines full words. It also provides example sentences, synonyms, antonyms, and close equivalents. Then there's a section for idioms, and another section for 多音多义字.

There's also this nifty little insert with examples of words/phrases that follow common patterns of repetition.

4. 新现代汉语词典

monolingual

I picked up this chunky guy from a used bookstore down the street from me (the owner of the store passed last year, and the store is no longer there unfortunately). This is a fairly normal dictionary, it's just bigger than my others and has more words listed in it.

One thing I also noticed is that this chart towards the end of the dictionary apparently had a strip of paper pasted on the bottom. It doesn't seem like something I can peel up without damaging the paper under it, and when I shine a flashlight through the page I can't make out any major differences between what's on the sticker and what might be on the page under it. So my best guess is there might have been some damage to the text on the page?

5. 商务馆学汉语近义词词典 The Commercial Press Guide to Chinese Synonyms

monolingual

This book is easily the one I reference the most. As the name suggests, the book is all about synonyms. It takes sets of 2+ similar words and thoroughly explains the similarities and differences between them all. There's plenty example sentences, with notes about whether the synonyms can be used interchangeably in certain contexts.

It's a great resource, but I had a bit of trouble getting my hands on a copy. It's possible that in the years since I bought it there have been more copies made available for sale though.

these next two are books I haven't explored too much since they are old and the binding is incredibly fragile and starting to fall apart. just opening them is stressful.

6. 漢字分解 Chinese Characters Explained by F.X. Keelan (aka 康���玲修女) (1967?)

bilingual

This book was also gifted to me by the nun who went to school with my grandma, and appears to also have been written by a nun! Based on what I've found from Google, this book was published in 1967.

Rather than a dictionary, this book is "a compilation intended as an aid in grouping and remembering [Chinese characters] with a view in acquiring a reading knowledge of Chinese"(p. iii). It aims to break down characters into radicals and giving similar/related characters. It's apparently the final installment in a 4 part Mandarin Course.

This book uses traditional characters. According to Google Books, the publisher is 光啓出版社, which is a Taiwanese organization. The book includes a very long table that has Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, Hakka, Japanese, and Korean pronunciations for (what seems to be) every character mentioned in the book. The intro mentions that this is so the course is more "accessible" for speakers of other East Asian languages.

Also, look at that printing error in the third photo! The text got cut off at the bottom of the page.

7. The Structure of Chinese Characters by John Chalmers (second edition, 1911)

bilingual

This final book is the oldest of the bunch, and was gifted to me by my boss's boss for some reason? She found it in a used bookstore apparently.

This book also uses traditional characters, because simplified characters just weren't a thing yet in 1911. This book is falling apart, and opening it stresses me out. It creaks whenever I open it.

Going by the title page, the full title of this book is An Account of the Structure of Chinese Characters Under 300 Primary Forms; After the Shwo-Wan, 100 A.D., and the Phonetic Shwoh-Wan, 1833. It was published by Kelly & Walsh, which was a Shanghai-based publisher.

Someone very kindly penciled in the years the author was alive: 1825-1899. John Chalmers was apparently a Scottish missionary (bc of course he was) who apparently popularized the term "Cantonese". This book that I own in particular was originally published in 1882.

It is, as the very long title suggests, an analysis and etymology of 300 common components

It also has a nifty fold-out of all 300 "primary forms" in seal script.

[liminalpsych]

Queer Reading of the Vulgate Cycle pt 1: Preface

preface | intro pt 1 | intro pt 2

Some context on 1. this readthrough and 2. the Vulgate Cycle in general!

I've read large chunks of the Vulgate Cycle all out of order, sporadically, but I haven't read it from cover-to-cover yet. I want to remedy that, though I want to read it through a queer lens. (Also a trauma psychology lens, but I don't have a good shorthand term for that.)

The Vulgate Cycle (aka the Lancelot-Grail Cycle, the Prose Lancelot, or the Pseudo-Map Cycle) is an Arthurian romance composed between 1215 and 1235-ish, by Anonymous. Who may have been one person, but more likely was multiple authors. (I'm in the "multiple authors" camp, I can see no other explanation for the dramatic tone shift of The Quest for the Holy Grail. Or the History of the Holy Grail, for that matter.)

It's a massive text. It attempts to "elaborate the full story of the Arthurian era and to set that era in a framework of universal history" (so writes Norris J. Lacy in the preface to the translation).

The History of the Holy Grail (originally the "Estoire del saint Graal") - actually one of the last sections to be written, even if its contents come first chronologically. Traces the early history of the Grail and Grail-keepers. Lots of Bible fanfic bits in this one. My least favorite section (I find it tedious and dull).

The Story of Merlin - also one of the last sections to be written. Focuses on Merlin and his role in Arthur's conception, birth, and coronation. Also focuses on Arthur's early days as king, and some of his early knights (young Orkney brothers!), and Arthur's early relationship with Guinevere (back when things were really good between them).

Lancelot Proper (aka Le Roman de Lancelot, Lancelot propre, or just "Lancelot du Lac") - Lancelot's life and adventures (and everyone else's adventures that end up vaguely connected to him) from birth until… right before the Grail quest. Divided into 3-6 parts by modern scholars (Lacy divides it into 6, so that's what I'll be going with).

The Quest for the Holy Grail (La Queste del saint Graal) - My second-least-favorite section; it's less tedious and dull than the History, but it's such a departure from the tone of the rest of the Vulgate Cycle, and it feels like a text designed to convert people to Christianity (and that may indeed have been its intended purpose). It's possible that the tone shift might be because each sectio nhad a different translator, but I don't think that explains it sufficiently.

The Death of Arthur (La Mort Artu) - the most readable section, imho, and probably my favorite. It promptly unravels all the purity nonsense that Quest put into place (feels like when a show gets a new showrunner for a season, and then the old showrunner gets the reins back a season later and is doing damage control on all the weird turns that the interim showrunner took), Lancelot and Guinevere get back together, and the story leaps into intense drama and beautiful tragedy.

Then there's the Post-Vulgate, which is basically just a grimdark and more religious rewrite of the Vulgate, minus the Lancelot Proper. Lots more Grail focus. I don't know if I'll do a readthrough of it or not.

The specific translation notes in the Preface are fascinating, and I highly recommend them (I love translation notes), but the most relevant bit is this:

"…the translators have tried to steer a middle course. Our primary concern was to present a reliable and readable text to modern readers, but we have also made an effort to retain a certain number of the stylistic features of the Old French romances, provided those features were reasonably compatible with the characteristics of modern English usage.

Lacy warns the reader that the History of the Holy Grail has "a convoluted, dense style" far more than most texts of the period. (It's so tedious, do not recommend.) "The author appears to be far more concerned with substance and symbolism… than with concision and grace." They've cleaned up the text in some places but overall kept the characteristics of the style. If this is the more accessible version, I would not want to read a literal direct translation. D:

Next up: Introduction (more translation notes) to the History of the Holy Grail.

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Good Omens 2 Opening-What are they marching toward?

Hi, there's something about the opening credit sequence that immediately caught my eye upon the first viewing. @metatronhateblog and I have discussed the whole opening credits at length (helps that we're siblings and can sit in the same room to talk about it) and we both will probably make some posts about things we haven't seen addressed yet.

I haven't seen anyone mention this particular thing yet, but forgive me if this has already been pointed out.

This mountain they are marching up? This is Zion.

I'm almost certain. It's a very interesting word that's used several times in the Old and New Testament, most notably for me in the book of Revelation, which I read a lot as a former Christian (I liked it cause it was the least boring thing to read).

It has a few different meanings from what I've gathered (a note: this is not about z*ionism.), which I will try to give brief explanations on.

Originally I believe it was meant to be an actual location in Jerusalem, a hill/mountain that held the City of David. Literally called Mount Zion I think.

In the Old Testament it also is described as being the place where God rests, where they are enthroned.

Now look at this.

Pretty sure that's a throne room? It looks like a Greek temple, so I think that's the vibe it's going for. The place where God is located.

Most interestingly, Zion is symbolic of the city of heaven, which will come to earth and God will dwell with the people upon Jesus' return and judgement (at least that's what I'm getting from the text? It can be difficult for me to decipher sometimes). Revelation 14:1 states

"Then I looked, and there before me was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads."

I believe this is the first time Jesus appears during(after maybe?) the great Tribulation (aka, all the torments the earth endures during this time before his return) with those who have been chosen by God. "The Lamb" refers to Jesus, for those who may not know.

I thought it was odd that this possible Zion reference was placed here in season 2 since it's not something that we've seen or heard mentioned thus far, but I think we can safely assume it has to do with season 3 and the Second Coming.

A side note, there's something else I caught while looking at this as well:

I could be wrong, but it looks like these cherubs are tipping bowls. BOWLS!

In John's visions in Revelation 16, we see seven angels with bowls pouring out plagues to the earth. Bowls of God's wrath. I could go into what they are but that's a whole other post. For some reason I always remembered the bowls the most, I have no idea why. There's so much to find in the opening, it's like a scavenger hunt and my little brain loves it! Anyway.

Fascinating that Zion is what the people and our heroes are marching toward. Are they simply moving toward the end times (again)? Are they marching straight to God's house to get some answers (Aziraphale might be)? Are they moving toward that utopian heaven on earth as they begin eternity, forever and ever amen (as Michael mentions in the forbidden heavenly footage)? Maybe all three.

It may not be all that important and just be purely symbolic, but I thought it was neat. There really is so much in the details!

Thanks for coming to my rambling! I'm going to go try finding more references now.

[eusuntgratie]

2025 wips

thank you for the tag @anincompletelist <3

i am a perpetual too-many-wips disaster so i'm always grateful for an opportunity to lay out what i'm working on.

malex pretty woman au (roswell new mexico)

my next big project is the malex pretty woman au. alex is the rich, detached businessman, michael is captivating in tiny blue shorts and thigh high boots. do you see the vision? i need to make a banner and pick a title!

(i make ONE comment to @bigassbowlingballhead about craving a certain type of fic and suddenly i'm being enabled into my next longfic 🙃). i am genuinely so excited about this one. i've got about 5k written and the whole fic is plotted. i'm thinking this will be in the 25-30k range? maybe? honestly jon is better at estimating my word counts than i am so who knows. still not sure if i'll finish writing this one and then edit and post chapter by chapter or what i'll do, but i think i'll be able to get this one up this year.

firstprince exes (rwrb)

if i have another big project in me i would LOVE to finish my outsider pov firstprince exes fic. i love love love this weird little fic but it is a real challenge to write.

sequels & additional chapters

part 3 of conformation (rnm) will be just alex and michael after their fun with maria at the club. maybe alex will make good on his idea of tying michael up and seeing how much he can take. i could write millions of words of sub!michael please do not tempt me.

chapter 3 of after hours (first prince/rwrb) aka mechanic alex will be alex and henry's first date.

one shots

come back inside is a malexa morning after the airstream scene fic...what if michael convinced alex to stay? this is probably more than half written. malexa my beloved 😍

hunting guide au (tknp, men's hockey rpf). tk hires pat for a guided hunt with his young daughter.

these might not happen 😐

shadow is a buddie fic that was gonna be a big bang fic (which will never happen) but i *could* finish and post the first few chapters as a one shot. featuring baby eddie having his mind blown by a slightly older, extremely gay buck at a college party while visiting his sister.

i wanna be adored is an elliott/marco, marco gets dropped into crystal valley fic that i've written about 5k for but can't quite get to do what i want. when i started writing it there were no kissingchambers fics, but there are lots now! so if you like them you should probably just read those bc this bad boy probably won't see the light of day even though i've got about 5k written.

dumotanger omegaverse college au (men's hockey rpf) - y'know i really love this one and i am unhinged about dumotanger but i think there's just something missing here that i haven't been able to figure out. i'd love to finish it if i do though! i've got maybe 3k written.

okay those are the ones with something significant written. i have LOTS of other abandoned wips and ideas, plus i always like to do some kind of short prompt series. i haven't done femslash february in a while so maybe i could write a few ficlets for that? maybe do some shuffle prompts again? hmmm. we'll see, we'll see.

my askbox and dms are always open for questions about my fic, wips, ideas, etc. <3

open tag for anyone with wips they wanna share!!!

[raayllum]

Mirrored Paths Trilogy #2: In the Name of Love, I Would Do Anything For You —Callum & Viren

Part 2 of a mini meta trilogy dissecting Callum, Karim, and Viren's parallels, with a special emphasis on S5. For the general overview, and if you want to read Karim and Viren's parallels, you can read that analysis here. It is useful to read but not necessary in order to understand this one, as this meta is Part 2 and will discuss Callum and Viren.

Now, I've talked a lot about Viren and Callum. Like, a Lot a lot. Therefore, I'm not going to repeat too much of their Arc 1 buildup here, and focus more loosely on their S5 parallels in particular. However:

If you're interested in their pre-season 4 buildup, check out these metas: How Callum and Viren have parallel arcs in S2, Relics, Rage, and Magic: The Callum-Viren Foils Meta, the foils screencap compilation post I've been cultivating since Nov 2019 pre S3 (updated to include past that point)

If you're interested in post-S4 thoughts, check out these metas: The Interlocking of the Cycle’s Wheel with Viren, Claudia, Callum, and Rayla, How Viren and Callum stack up flaws wise, I sure do love foils that switch, How Callum's morality differs from Ezran and Rayla's (and always has)

If you're interested in post-S5 thoughts, check out these metas: What did Viren and what does Callum want?, How Callum and Viren sacrifice (written post-S4 but updated with S5 screencaps), Why ramp up the foiling?

Now I'm not gonna expect you to read all that because 1) I'm aware I have a problem, 2) it'd be time consuming as hell, and 3) I'm going to summarize the most important takeaways for you to understand the foundation this next section of meta is built on. (None of it is complicated, mind you, but just to make it clear where I'm coming from.) If you have read all those metas, or even made it this far on this one, thank you for enabling me reading and I hope you('ve) enjoy(ed).

Now for the key takeaways:

S5 went basically exactly where I've thought Callum would go since S1/S2 and Viren since S3 re: Viren giving up dark magic and having an atonement arc/breaking away from Aaravos, whereas Callum — in order to free and save someone he loves, specifically Rayla — chooses to chain himself further to Aaravos

Although still very different, Callum and Viren are worryingly, exceedingly similar in many ways, largely in their agreement that dark magic can be a useful last resort and in their devotion to their loved ones (aka "in the name of love" + the "I would do anything [for my family/loved ones]" parallel

Where Viren is willing to put certain things (the kingdom, his own quest for power, humanity) above his family (and wrongfully so), Callum is not. He says he would do anything, and means it (thank you post-s2 me, you were the realest bitch)

Rayla and Aaravos are foils, particularly in their dynamics with Callum and Viren respectively. They are both banished, exiled elves who were seen as being/are too sympathetic towards humans, they mentor high mages of Katolis, hunt each other's high mages, and S6 will put Rayla and Aaravos vying for Callum's destiny (control) to the test as his two paths (although choosing Rayla over Aaravos may not be mutually exclusive, but that's another post). Rayla killing Viren unintentionally put him on a path to stray from Aaravos, whereas Callum saving her / their relationship is what has consistently putting him on a path towards Aaravos

Now, S2 and S4 definitely have more parallels between them structurally for our two high mages. S2 is linked above, so I'll focus on S4: asking to die but being refused by Claudia and Rayla respectively; being reunited with someone they love after two years; Callum attempting to shut down his feelings in Rayla's absence / upon her return much the way Viren did in his time as high mage; the mirror and general framing, particularly in 4x01; sharing a (re-)birthday; their impatience in 4x02, which is also a parallel with Karim; the pawn intros; Rayla interrupting Callum's investigation of the mirror while Viren likewise attempts to diverge paths; picking up what they'd been refusing to all season in 4x09 within seconds of each other, and similar framing to boot, since dark magic led to Viren's destruction, and Rayla will possibly (unintentionally) lead to Callum's:

Let's get into it: S5

Now, S5 is less obvious in some ways. The one big framing parallel they get, beat for beat, is Callum going to investigate Aaravos in the library, placing his book on the same table, being interrupted by the librarian (which is honestly more of a running gag than something tangible), the script being magically washed away, etc.

Therefore, with all of the above out of the way, we have three main things to consider:

1) Their dark magic dreams from 2x06 and 5x03 respectively, in which they face mirrored reflections of each other

I wrote after S2 that I thought Callum refusing his dark counterpart in 2x08 was ultimately going to end up being more about actively being a dark mage than doing dark magic ever again, mostly because — while we didn't know if the show would ever put him in said position — I always figured Callum would do dark magic again in well, about the exact circumstances canon forced him into in 5x08. (And it was extremely satisfying, lemme tell you.) Viren giving up dark magic was more surprising, but they've always been switching foils, so the exchange makes perfect sense on that level.

I talked really briefly about some of the similarities between their dreams, but I wanted to touch on some here as well:

Their choices are both framed around objects of Aaravos. For Callum, it's a key he initially rejects. For Viren, it's the mirror, but instead of connecting to and looking to Aaravos to help him, he looks to and accepts himself.

Viren has to reach forward and connect with himself, whereas Callum pulls away from his mirror self

Viren's dreams are about dismantling his justifications (or the why) behind what he did, whereas Callum's skip over his justifications and instead focus on what he did. Both of these accordingly inform their identity

Viren is saved from literal drowning upon waking up, Callum is saved from a more metaphorical kind

Freedom is the cornerstone of both reflective scenes. Viren and Callum both leave their initial dreams being free (or freer than before). While this holds true for Viren until the current end of his arc (5x09), Callum in 5x08 is handed a sharp reminder that freedom is no guarantee, and how that may continue

The path metaphor that was running loosely throughout their arcs ("I am offering you a path forward [with dark magic] / Callum's tendency towards shortcuts / "I'm afraid, Rayla. What if I'm on a path of darkness?") is now being brought to the forefront here through Viren both being made actively aware of his choices per path ("Because I have followed a dark path") and him deciding to get off of it in 5x09.

2) Both being driven to desperation and resolve to try and save someone they love (Claudia, Rayla)

I figured that, per Viren getting an atonement arc at all, that what would make the most sense is S5 forcing Viren and Callum to confront their moral horizon lines about what they were, or were not willing to do, in order to save Claudia and Rayla pre-S5. For the S4 reasoning behind that, I'll recommend one of the metas linked above regarding those four and the Interlocking of the Cycle's Wheel. I was very pleased to see a decent chunk of it come to fruition. I figured Callum would be able to save Rayla at a steep cost, and Viren would be unable to successfully save Claudia (cause consequences have to catch up to you sooner rather than later, and they tend to catch Viren first and Callum second).

This is, of course, perhaps most exemplified by the show chipping away to the core of dark magic, which is what are you willing to do to save the people you love, even against their will, and that Callum has every good reason to be worried, accordingly, about a very exploitable part of himself.

Which we'll talk about more when we get to:

3) Viren revoking dark magic and Aaravos, whereas Callum does dark magic again and worries he's further tethered himself to Aaravos

In season 5 in a lot of ways, Viren comes to fully understand and accept Harrow's rebuttal to dark magic in 1x02, which was, "We may not pay now, but we will pay the blood price eventually! What do you think got us here? Dark magic!" The blood price went from Sarai's unintentional death, to Thunder's purposeful one, to Zym's false one, to Harrow's 'real' (?) one, and so and so forth.

Viren tried to ignore the sunk cost fallacy by believing it was already too late to turn everything around, and that doubling down to skirt consequences would continually work... until it didn't, and he had to accept the only person writing his fate was himself: "Every step forward is a choice," and thereby another chance to do the right thing, or make better choices, under the circumstances you have — to at least try.

This parallel, then, between Viren doing what he can to set himself free vs Callum chaining himself further to Aaravos is, in a lot of ways, both the most dreadful and happiest potential parallel and contrast between on a few different levels. Let me explain:

S6 as the Fall, S7 as the Rise

I talked about this pre-S5, citing it as a reason I believed Viren and Callum were ultimately switching rather than solely contrasting foils — re: Viren getting better in S5, and Callum getting worse in S5/S6 — simply due to the fact that given that S6 will be TDP's 11th hour, things might be going okay for the antagonist crowd, but the protagonist side of things, particularly Callum, will need to be hitting rock bottom.

Thus, it seemed pretty obvious from a structural standpoint, as well as Stars (and destiny by extension) having an association with Aaravos that S6 would involve Callum playing his part in Aaravos' plans, with S7 being the reclamation of his agency and therefore defeat of his narrative Rival for well, narrative control. S6 being Callum's fall, S7 being his rise — stronger than before, and freer and more magically in tune than ever.

Prior to S5, it was typically accepted (by myself included) that while purposefully very similar to one another in both framing and personality, that mirroring would eventually shed, and, come S7 Viren would ultimately provide a contrast to Callum, with Callum breaking away from Aaravos in ways Viren was never able to, and this would be the Big Defining Difference between them in terms of like, narrative cohesion and plot. (Emotionally, the biggest difference has always, arguably, been that Viren is more world focused — to his detriment in arc 1 in particular — than focused on his loved ones, whereas Callum is deeply and sometimes dangerously devoted to the people he loves.)

However, S5 makes that previous contrast prediction untrue, because Viren does break away from Aaravos (in fact, just an episode decidedly before Callum seems — metaphorically at least — to take a step towards him). Therefore rather than just being a contrast, Viren is meant to be a true mirror in equal measure, simply because by virtue of letting Viren break away from Aaravos' control, when Callum eventually does so, he will likewise — once again — be following in Viren's footsteps, just in a positive way rather than a 'negative' way like before. If Viren was meant to solely be a contrast — as has been theorized previously — than Callum staying under Aaravos' control would actually be the provided ending. Of course the show isn't doing that for Very Obvious Reasons, but I think it's worth noting that now, in order for Callum to have a happy ending at all, he has to follow in Viren's footsteps — all of them. Rather than being one of solely warning and foreboding, Viren's narrative has turned into one of hope for Callum, too.

V: I am free, and so are you.

But in order to talk about salvation, we have to first talk about destruction, namely:

Dark Magic and Death

Dark magic and death have long been associated with each other in series. Dark magic requires killing or consuming a magical creature — elf, dragon, or otherwise — to be used/harvested for power. It affects the souls of those being used as spell parts (Through the Moon) and you can use any part of the body within reason, even their ashes upon cremation (1x03, 2x09), or their final breath (against their wishes in 3x06). Hell, dark magic makes you smell like death (3x01), turns you into a more corpselike appearance, and season two novelization just furthers this association outright during the passages of Callum's dark magic visions/dream:

Callum turned the cube frantically to see which primal was glowing. How could any of the primals glow in this dark place? Something about this cube tied his stomach in knots. It wasn’t natural. A vision flickered in front of his face. Dozens of dead animals in a field. A dead butterfly. A dead deer. A dead unicorn. Cackling laughter. He chucked the cube away from him with all his might. The glowing rune was dark magic. It represented death.

Thereby in 2x08 itself, the rejection dark magic symbolized by the cube is pretty simple. Callum rejects being a dark mage as his primary magic use, he rejects the 'easier' road, he still believes he can possibly access primal magic, and in doing so, he rejects death. He won't become a dark mage, he won't seek out his death or others in order to have control/power, and he won't become a corpselike figure.

But a couple seasons later, we see S4 and S5 reverse and complicate that in 1) having him, literally, seek his own and Aaravos' deaths in order to feel in control/have power, and therefore 2) perfectly foreshadowing his eventual dark magic use/relapse, for lack of a better word. Just as the show leans farther away from "dark magic is easy" (and it is, in some ways, emotionally easier to deal with consequences when you can change them) and more into "dark magic will destroy you — your identity and your body — if you keep using it".

S5, likewise, also starts to break down the negative associations of dark magic being linked to death, and indeed the negative associations with death itself. For most characters in the series, death is solely a tragedy, but for Harrow and Viren of themselves, staring their own deaths in the face — and choosing to die — instead became a vehicle for repentance, change, and subsequent self-actualization.

Death, for Harrow, and more importantly for the sake of this meta, is not just doom and gloom, but a choice and therefore a culmination as well as a chance for transformation. Just as Viren's death in 3x09 allowed him to be re-born with clear eyes (a literal Re-Birthday, if you will), him choosing this next death shows the full scope of his character arc. Previously, he died because he was chasing all the things he didn't have with Aaravos' aid, and by 5x09, he's rejecting Aaravos' help and dying alone in the woods with nothing, yet it feels like a tragic sort of victory all the same.

We also see a more complicated view of dark magic alongside ideas of self-actualization. Previously, dark magic was seen as something that would make you routinely lose yourself (Viren, Claudia) until you had by and large become the worst version of yourself. S5 complicates this a bit more by connecting Callum doing dark magic to his ability to access the Ocean arcanum, as he remembers/mimics the motion of crushing the slug before connection (and parallels Viren's 5x03 hand symbolism to boot):

Whereas Viren unmakes his choice to take on Aaravos' deal in 2x07, Callum unmakes his choice to refuse to do dark magic when it means saving his loved ones. As he states:

To love is simply to know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep... You don't control anything. But you already knew that, didn't you? Because it's the secret of the Ocean itself. The arcanum. The Ocean arcanum is about accepting depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control.

Callum fears not having control, and therefore fears his part of himself, where he is now more aware than ever of just how far he'll go for his loved ones, and how exploitable that is, thanks to Finnegrin. And it's not as though dark magic has lost its death associations, merely that those death associations have likewise been transformed. This is particularly evident if you line up 5x08 as the end of Callum's S5 arc (which it is; while 5x09 is fun, it doesn't further any of the main trio's emotional arcs except Rayla, and even that is decently minor)

If dark magic is still linked to death, then both Viren and Callum choose to step towards their own deaths in the end of their respective arcs, just with different meanings and arc placements. If we take Viren's step further that real death vs dark magic death are two different things, then we still have Callum stepping towards his own dark magic death to prevent someone else's (the same way Rayla is spared) even if that means throwing potentially 3+ innocent people and Domina Profundis under the bus in 5x08. But more on that here.

For now, let me break it down more simply:

In 4x09, Callum and Viren both pick up the symbol of something they've been trying to ignore / pass off to others all season. Viren has avoided his staff and left it for Claudia to wield, much the same way Callum passed Rayla off to Ezran and Soren in the previous episodes. Viren refuses to leave the staff behind. Meanwhile, Callum picks up and finally starts fully acknowledging the loss and love he feels regarding Rayla, who he let go on without him. The staff is symbolic of Viren's relationship to Aaravos as well, and it's what ultimately dooms him. Rayla's sword, although quickly discarded so he can help the actual Moonshadow elf, is also a symbol to Callum in the scene that he loves/is still mourning his friend/partner.

In 5x08 and 5x09, Callum and Viren are both goaded by a vengeful elf seeking freedom into doing dark magic to create a secure future for each mage. The elf wants to use them as further vessels for their own freedom/revenge scheme. Viren refuses to do dark magic and instead chooses death, reaching self-actualization. He does this mostly motivated by his own regret and love for Claudia. He refuses to sacrifice Sir Sparklepuff to save his own life and breaks away from Aaravos. Callum demonstrates a willingness to sacrifice others in order to save Rayla, in addition to resorting to dark magic in order to save her. He refuses to sacrifice her to save/keep his own soul free from Aaravos' clutches, even if that means possibly walking steadily closer to his own death. Likewise, this allows him to reach a new stage of self-actualization, but at a steep emotional cost.

Where Viren's ending is tragic but victorious, Callum's season ending is victorious but tragic. But like I said earlier, Viren's story in S5 offers plenty of hope to Callum's future storyline, namely exploring how

Love Can Destroy and Save You

Now, anyone who's been following me for a while knows I love a good "this thing can save and destroy you" and that I have been really fucking excited for S4 taking that undercurrent in arc 1 and bringing it up to the forefront, with a big hitch to Rayllum as a sweet lovely, devastating bonus.

“Wow. So they look identical but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

—Book One: Moon novelization + Callum and Rayla being routinely determined to save each other, even if that means immense danger and harm to themselves (Callum's love for her made him leap off the mountain to save her, and his love for her allowed him to grow wings and save both of them).

This has always been a theme in the show and particularly within their dynamic — "Alright, enough almost killing me" in 1x05 with the lightning spell, only for Callum to save Rayla's life with the exact same spell by the episode's end — most prominently brought to the forefront in 4x07 with their whole "I need you to kill me" "I'm afraid I'll hurt people I care about" [cuts right to Rayla] conversation. If you're interested in more Rayllum thoughts on this, I would recommend my original meta on the subject (pre-S4) and my post-S4 followup.

We even see this theme of the same thing — in this case, Callum's love for Rayla and commitment to saving her — play out as a perfect microcosm in 5x08. As previously mentioned, Callum does dark magic again (a failure in his own mind) and unlocks the ocean arcanum (a victory) precisely because of what he was willing to do out of love, both of these things being good and bad. The dark magic use is bad because it makes him more vulnerable to Aaravos and reaffirms how he'll bend morals he otherwise wouldn't and is upset over it, and it's a good action because it lets him save Rayla. Unlocking the Ocean arcanum is a good thing, because it symbolizes a deeper understanding of himself — good ol' self-actualization — and more useful, magical prowess, but it's also a bad thing because he's upset by this realization of himself to the point of not even really being excited by it.

He would do anything for her, he's realized now that love doesn't necessarily always make him stronger, that this is exploitable, and it scares him. It really does.

Because Rayla saves him and destroys him. And in S5, fortunately, Viren's children do the same for him.

Even though saving Soren is what seemed to truly begin Viren's descent in earnest...

the harm his path has inflicted on Claudia is one of his motivations to finally stepping off of it.

Ezran himself acknowledges the way love interplays with the Cycle in the thematic turning point of the arc, and the series in many ways, back in 4x03 — that love is not in opposition to the Cycle, but indeed one of its many cogs, and the choice lies in how we choose to let that love manifest:

I had a speech planned for today. It was about peace and love and hope. But I think I left something out. [...] We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else. So what do we do? How can we stop this cycle? [...]  We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.

If Callum does destroy himself / risk the world for love in S6 (perhaps taking a risk he knows may lead to being possessed, or releasing Aaravos to spare Ezran or Rayla from an immediate death) then love, it seems, is also posed to be what accordingly breaks him out of the possession and brings him back to himself, the same way it allowed Viren to deviate from his previously chosen/enforced path. Reconciling dualities rather than enforcing strict binaries is one of the main things S4 was concerned with, after all ("Just have two cakes!").

All of this, for Callum, ties back into:

His dynamic with Rayla and all its variances (the light to his dark / pain and love / literally freeing himself while metaphorically chaining himself in order to save her / his love for her being his strentth and weakness / "Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad").

His connection to the Key ("I have a feeling that cube thing could help me" to "It's the Key of Aaravos, Callum. No good will come of it!")

Light and dark being both good and bad, and Aaravos heavily representing that trade off ("In darkness, gaze upon a fallen star [...] already tainted by darkness" + the cube flashing a bright glowing white before Aaravos picks him up as a pawn).

The fall (becoming Aaravos' prey / playing into Aaravos' hands) in s6 and a rise in S7 (breaking free by defeating Aaravos)

If dark magic is death, and Aaravos is likewise death / worse than death ("if he takes control of me again, you have to kill me")... death, like for Viren in 3x09, can be Transformation for Callum in 6x09. He just has to 'die' (metaphorically) — to fall, to fail, to succumb to his predecessor's negative footsteps — in order to rise, fly, and follow in his predecessor's positive footsteps while also carving out another new path for himself.

Because Love is salvation just as much as it is destruction, and the story will always hold true to those things.

Other Parallels

Although there aren't as many prominent framing parallels in S5 as there were in S4 — the mirror, on the battlements with Soren, sitting on the Storm Spire, picking up the staff and sword, etc etc — (beyond the hand clasps as symbolic chains my beloved), the most obvious one is from 5x01 in which Callum goes to the library to research Aaravos just like the high mage before him, down to the portrait over the table they place the tome on.

Then there is also framing that furthers the connections they share between Callum-Viren and Claudia-Rayla, diving after someone you're desperate to save (and often from drowning, to boot). Hand outstretched one pictured above, so here's another:

There are also the Aaravos-Magma Titan Callum-Viren parallels that others have pointed out, with Ezran standing in for Sarai:

Given that 4x01 begins and 5x09 ends the arc of Viren's 30 days, and by and large binds S4 and S5 together as 1 arc of sorts (with S6 and S7 being the final arc), it tickles me particularly pink that it opens, in many ways, and then literally closes accordingly with Callum and Viren staring at the moon:

Misc:

In between writing the first meta and the second one, I got loose 'confirmation' that I'm on the right path with my deductions (even if, of course, 'personal path' can mean many things, but I still think it's cool!) from Aaron Ehasz on twitter. Cool beans

I also think it's fun that Viren tries to save Claudia from a 'symbolic' death in the ocean ("Stop! That wave, it will swallow you up!") and Callum saves Rayla from a more literal one of being devoured by a sea leviathan.

Conclusion

First off, if you read All of That, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. I've been itching to talk about these two and how S5 both built on the parallels they already had, pushed some to the forefront in overt ways ("I would do anything" and 5x08 on Callum's end was beyond validating in every way), in addition to setting up more to come, both good and bad.

I may return to S5 in this manner to touch more on other parallel relationships in the future, such as Viren-Rayla in S5, Callum-Claudia, and Claudia-Rayla, but for now the next proposed foil meta is looking at a dynamic I have not talked much about in Callum and Karim. This will conclude this little 'trilogy' of metas, and I hope you stick around for it, cause it's going to be very interesting.

Callum and Viren have always been my favourite foils relationship in the show, and I hope this meta did a good job of demonstrating why. Thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next one!

—Dragons out

[rmd-writes]

a love note (and some fics)

Sometimes I wonder if there's really anything bigger out there - the universe, some kind of higher power, fate - and then I think about how extremely lucky I am that I became obsessed with a certain tv show and its characters at just the right time so that I could befriend someone who then introduced me to a particular book at exactly the right time to fall in love with those characters as well. And then, because of my need to have more of those characters, I went looking for more stories about them at exactly the right time to meet a group of people (some of them together, some of them later, but that doesn't matter) who would go on to become my friends.

There must be something, right? To bring together a group of people who live in five to seven different time zones depending on the time of year. To create my safest spaces on the internet. To share not just our love for a book and its characters, but parts of our lives with each other. To have them all wedge themselves into the soft spaces of my heart and never leave.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last two weeks, because those people conspired and collaborated to gift me a collection of 10 incredible fics for a milestone birthday (tomorrow!) - even though some of them haven't written fic for months and months, or don't write for this fandom at all anymore, or have recently been finding it hard to make words work and finish fics, or are just plain busy with other projects and life. That they took the time to find and make words for me means everything and more 💖💖

I've been absolutely overwhelmed with love these past 10 days (probably to the surprise of no one, I have cried at every single fic drop and I'm crying writing this now). So, I want to share the wonderful fics that they've written for me with you all because it's the least I can do to pay it forward and they're objectively stellar fics. If you haven't come across them already then you should definitely add them to your to read lists/open tabs/MFL. Please show my friends some love and read their work.

The Rae of Sunshine! collection, in order of publication (with my very short summaries):

Take It Back (4.2K) by @three-drink-amy

Henry is the head chef at a French restaurant and there's one patron who keeps sending his dishes back. How can they resolve this?

Dick, Dick Dick (You Down) (10.2K) by @everwitch-magiks

Alex runs the craft services trailer on the set of actor!Henry's latest movie. Is he the only person who sees behind the façade?

A deceptively soft story, given the title.

Precious Love (1.3K) by floatingaway4

The fluffiest follow up to one of my favourite AUs Amigos y Migas (aka the food truck au).

Midnight ice cream (5.8K) by @the-amber-fox

Emotional support Cornettos? More likely than you think.

Make it Right (5.3K) by @three-drink-amy (that's right, Ally wrote me TWO FICS)

A rogue little Tarlos fic in amongst the firstprince - a post-season 1 canon divergence that sees TK working in a taco truck while he finds his feet.

a taste of life (7.4K) by @indomitable-love

A journey through Henry's life, told through food. (This one is not my summary, indomitablelove already summed it up perfectly)

Risotto + Melanzane + Dolce (a love story) (16.8K) by @villiageidiot

Alex starts working at an Italian restaurant and is terrible at his job. Somehow, Henry doesn't seem to mind.

Cursed is a State of Mind (WIP) by @welcometololaland & @dustratcentral

A 5 + 1 treatise on cursed coffee consumption.

12 Year Starter (6.6K) by @clottedcreamfudge

When Pez can't make it to Henry's Michelin-star birthday dinner, he arranges for Henry's friend, Alex, to take his place. Featuring CCF's signature banter and fun, and a menu that I wish was real.

Pour Your He(art) Out (WIP) by @athousandrooms

A 5+1 ode to latte art (featuring actual art!)

You can find the entire collection here on Ao3.

[kyuushi]

I present (🎁) the character relationship chart from the first official fanbook! Big thanks to Pancake from the Kyuushi Discord server for the scans 🫶

The translation, cleaning, and typesetting were all done by me so please forgive any messiness & mistakes. But I'm always very open to feedback so feel free to reach out, especially if you notice tl issues!

Please don't repost the image around. You can just share the link to this post! (If I end up needing to make corrections, I will cry if an old incorrect version is floating around somewhere!!)

↓Some extra notes below the cut↓

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I originally wanted to post this along with a more accessible version (aka text version) but unfortunately that would be a ton of extra work and I have other projects I'd like to spend my time on instead. I'm also not really knowledgeable about that stuff to begin with so I'm not sure what kind of format would be best for screen readers or other accessibility aids. If anyone else would like to take up the mantle and create a text version, please message me!

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Translation Notes:

Mippiki: Written "３人と１匹" but read as "みっぴき," this word is very important to the Kyuushi fandom! It describes the main characters living in the office- Rona, Draluc, Hinaichi, and John. "Mi" comes from 3 and "ippiki" is how you would count 1 small animal, an armadillo in this case.

Sagyou's "hah? to respect ratio": The "hah?" here is like an exasperated sound he's making. In Japanese it was one of these babies: ぁ゙. So his frustration to respect ratio is 9 to 1.

Calling someone a typhoon/hurricane: I think this is probably self explanatory but since I don't think this is a common expression in English, I'll explain a bit. Basically it's likening someone to the chaos and power of a storm.

Shot's "filthy cool": In Japanese this is "ヨゴレかっこいい." I can't find instances of this phrase being used outside of Kyuushi so this seems to be a Bonnoki original? I've seen others tl this some different ways but I tried to make it sound kinda cool in English, though it also kinda makes no sense lol, sorry.

Tabiko being in the "vampires" section: Just in case anyone is confused, Tabiko is definitely a human. I think there just wasn't space to stick her anywhere else.

Manner calling Satetsu "big bro": "兄イ" in Japanese. I think most people recognize words like "onii-san" and "aniki" at this point but I'm not sure about just "anii" (also big brother) so I decided to tl it here. As you may have guessed, this is not him literally trying to adopt Satetsu as his brother, but rather a term of respect (albeit a teasing one). Satetsu is uncomfortable being called this, mostly because it reminds him of his embarrassing delinquent past.

Nagiri's nickname for John: I chose to keep this as "Maru" ("丸," literally "circle") just because I think it sounds like a cute nickname lol.

Fiasco calling Manner "spoiled rich boy": Originally "ボンボン" in Japanese. You might have heard a character called "bon" or even this kinda insulting version, "bonbon," before. It describes a young man from a rich family. I added "spoiled" because I thought it sounded too much like a complement just to call him "genius rich boy," even with "damn" in front 😂

Nuyan: John's "nu" combined with a dog's "wan" (bark). Remember that time Yomo hypnotized John into acting like a dog? That John never fully recovered from? Yeah.

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As I said please do let me know if you spot any mistakes or have any questions or comments. You can even ask if you're just confused about who certain characters are or what the relationship arrow is indicating! Kyuushi has a ton of characters and they can be difficult to keep track of, especially for the English fandom which doesn't have access to all the materials.

Thanks if you actually read all of these walls of text 🫡

[night-raven-miscellany]

Figured I'd start posting some side posts of everyone's opinions on other characters (mainly canon and my own OCs but I might add in OCs that have been interacted with if people don't mind being tagged)? This was smth I considered already and was then further prompted to do based on a response to a post I made yesterday.

So anyways, without further ado:

🦐OCpinions Time - Pt. 1 - Yuna Sid🦐

Other Parts: (to be linked)

Note: I kinda guessed on some emojis? There is a tiny bit of overlap... Oops? If your OCs have interacted with Yuna and you don't mind being mentioned, then pls lmk id love to add them!

Canon

Heartslabyul:

🌹Riddle (Aka "Ridds"/"Rosy"/"Your Majesty"): "He was a bit of a stick in the mud at first, and we certainly weren't very fond of one another. Despite that, I think I'd consider him a friend of mine now. He sometimes helps me study for written exams, since I can't do too much on the magical end of things. I would joke that he start a ‘Bad Parent(s) Support Group’ with me, but I think he’s still trying to figure things out himself, so I think it’s better to leave him to it… I've got a lot of respect for him, though. I mean, he's able to (generally) keep Ace and Deuce in check, so…” Bonus, "The Overblot" - "…Don't mention this to him, but sometimes I can still feel the sensation of cold metal clamping down over my neck. I don't hate him by any means… but the whole Overblot thing definitely made it harder to trust him at first." ♥️Ace (Aka "Red"/"Thing No. 1"/"Acey"): "My right hand man and one of my first friends on this godforsaken campus. I dunno why he insists on playing coy with everyone; it’s so painfully obvious when he cares about someone and yet he’d rather pretend he’s so cool and uncaring. It’s kinda endearing, if I'm being honest. I do wish he wasn’t such a jerk sometimes, though. Dude needs to learn to read the room. Despite that, I like hanging with him and dunno where I’d be if we weren’t friends. He's helped me out far more than I'd like to admit.” Bonus, "On Crushes" - "Oh come on... you're telling me that of ALL the guys in this place, one of the guys I have to have a crush on is THIS GUY???? UGH I thought I had better taste... It really doesn't help that he's charming from time to time, though...." ♠️Deuce (Aka "Blue"/"Thing No. 2"/"Deucey"/"Chickadee"): "My left-hand man; I have no clue what I’d do without him. Unlike Ace, I did not hate him at first. He’s a bit impulsive and oblivious sometimes, and sometimes you can really tell he was a delinquent in the past, but underneath all that, he’s a good guy. I’d trust him with my life, honestly. We study together pretty often, even when Ace has decided he doesn't need to join us, hehe..." Bonus, "On Crushes 2" - "Okay so I know I complained about Ace, but by comparison, Deuce is probably a safer option... He's super sweet and far more open about his feelings than a certain someone else... I still have to question my own choices, though..." ♣️Trey (Aka "Mom"/"The Tooth Fairy's Evil Twin Brother"/"Clover"): “I never know what to think about Clover… he’s got a generally nice and helpful air about him, but the dude can have a real mischievous streak when needed. I respect him a ton, though. It can’t be easy having to basically serve as Heartslabyul’s babysitter when the Housewarden is away. He needs to be more direct when he wants something, though… In fact, it drives me insane how dishonest he can be at times.” ♦️Cater (Aka "Cay-Cay"/"Cay"/"Diamond"): “He’s… a strange one for sure. We get along all right, but I wish he would be a little more open with me. Like, dude, I’m trying to give you an actual genuine connection with someone in the form of friendship!!! I guess I can't blame him too much, though, when I'm much the same way... Regardless, though, he’s pretty fun to talk with, especially about the latest gossip that’s going around NRC.”

Savanaclaw:

🦁 Leona (Aka "Aniki"/"Big Bro"/"Jerk"/"Leo"): “Man. I honestly did not get along with Leona at first. I think sometime shortly after the Octavinelle incident, though, our dynamic kinda shifted into that of a pair of siblings, at least in my eyes... I usually wind up calling him ‘Aniki’, whereas instead of ‘Herbivore’, I’ll occasionally hear ‘squirt’ instead. He’s still kind of a pain in the ass, but he’s not as bad as you’d think. Bonus, "The Overblot 2"- "Sand... everywhere... I watched as skin and bone was nearly reduced to nothing... I... God. If it were any other situation, it would've been so cool. But it was people... people. No one died, but it was terrifying, nearly being on the other end of that spell..." 🍩 Ruggie (Aka "Ruggs"/"Furry Squire"): “It was a bit frustrating when we first met, yknow, under the circumstances that we did (the Magift tournament), but after that we kinda became sorta friends? I wouldn’t say we were close or anything like that, but we did bond over a mutual dislike for rich people if that’s anything.” 🐺 Jack (Aka "Wolfie"/"Fido"/"Jackie"): "I like Jack. He's very consistent and, honestly, one of the better guys in this place. We may have been a little tense with each other at first, but I'd consider him a close friend of mine at this point. He, Epel, and I occasionally work out together. I don't think he was sure about it at first, since it was actually me who brought it up originally, but I think we all have fun with it now. So thanks, Wolfie, 'cause now I can handle myself in a fight."

Octavinelle

🐙 Azul (Aka "Fishface"/"That Fish-faced Mafioso"/"The Manager from Hell"/"'Zul"): “It’s kinda funny. I was never intending to work in the Mostro Lounge for ANY reason, but when the Birdman (Crowley) cut my allowance, I had to make some sacrifices. I was super hesitant about even touching the place because I knew it meant having to deal with Mr. Fish-Face himself, but honestly? It’s not too bad. Plus, he’d never let anyone know, but Azul isn’t always a money-hungry, gold-grubbing, capitalist fiend. He's actually helped me out once or twice with getting my hands on some piano scores from this world... free of charge, too. Don't tell him I told you this, though. He'd never let me live it down, at that point.” Bonus, "The Overblot 3" - "Top ten most frustrating crash outs I've had the displeasure of witnessing... Like, dude, I know you worked hard for those contracts, but... I dunno... it was kind of just frustrating since... well... I won. Sure, I had some help from Leona, but still... I also get not wanting people to know about who you were in the past, trust me. But that was just... a bit too far. I dunno, maybe that was just the point I started wanting to just zone out during Overblots... One was bad, two was upsetting, but three was just... starting to get old real fast, y'know?" 🐬 Jade (Aka "The Scary Twin"/"JJ"): "So, of the twins, I think Jade is by far the more terrifying of the two. I need to get that out now before anything. He's very polite, yes, but that smile of his never ceases to unnerve me... He does offer me drinks from the lounge from time to time? I never can stay for long enough to take advantage of his offer, but something tells me that maybe it's for the best?" 🦈 Floyd (Aka "The Fun Twin"/"Flo"/"The Personification of a Hydraulic Press"): "Floyd is... surprisingly fun to be around. Sure his mood swings can be a bit terrifying, especially when he decides it'd be more fun to chase me around, but he's usually pretty chill when we hang out. I'm kinda grateful to him, because he's part of the reason I have the job in the lounge that I do... found my playing interesting enough to be of note and brought it to Azul's attention at some point, I guess? He also gives pretty good hugs? I dunno what the whole deal is with getting squeezed being a bad thing, but the pressure is kinda relaxing... like a weighted blanket, y'know?"

Scarabia

☀️ Kalim (Aka "Sunny"/"Kali"): "Kalim is really nice! He's probably one of the nicest people I've met in this school and it's a bit refreshing! His optimism is ... Kinda concerning sometimes, but I don't really know how to bring it up to him. He's really fun to play music with, though, and sometimes I'll join him and the other light music club members to play together! I just... I know that he knows about the whole... Thing by now... It's almost amazing that he's so persistent... I really wish I could be as positive as he is sometimes, even if it is only a defense mechanism..." 🐍 Jamil (Aka "Snake Eyes"/"Mr. Hissyfit"/"Jami"): "He's too closed off and doesn't express his feelings enough. I know why he does it, but that doesn't make it any less irritating! He's gotten a little bit better about it over time, I guess, but God does it piss me off when Kalim or someone else does something and he just. Gets this look on his face and you KNOW he's pissed and/or is now unable to do things to his full potential but. I dunno... We occasionally hang out in order to just express our frustrations over people, though, which is fun. Sometimes he'll tell me about whatever is going on in Scarabia and I'll complain a bit about the Birdman." Bonus, "The Overblot 4" - "I really want to trust Jamil. I do! But... Listen, unknowingly having your mind controlled once is already a horrifically jarring experience... It makes it hard to wanna be around him too much, even though I know it's not going to happen the way it did again, but... I don't know how Kalim does it, really. And he and the other dorm members were all being mind controlled at some point or another during the whole winter break fiasco."

Pomefiore

🦚 Vil (Aka "Queenie"/"Peacock"): "Queenie isn't too bad, despite how strict he is. He just wants everyone to be the best they can be. His methods are... Debatable, in my opinion, but I can admire his work ethic. He's one of the few people that helped me get some decent clothes in this place, and now I can at least look somewhat nice when I go out for things, haha? He, along with a few others, also helped me out in designing a dorm uniform for Ramshackle as it is now. He actually was the one who suggested using parts of other dorms uniforms, and gave me the boots and the undershirt that I've got for it." Bonus, "The Overblot 5" - "Fuck, dude. That was... Kinda terrifying. I really, really shouldn't have been staying for overblots at this point. I'll never forget the look on his face though when he was spiraling about being truly evil... I've never seen someone look so... Upset with themselves while also trying to kill everyone else... Like when you fall into such a bad self-deprecative spiral that it just winds up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy or something...". Bonus, "Being a Hero" - "Ever since the whole STYX thing... I can't help but admire Queenie. Can't believe he spent so much time wondering if he was good enough to play the part of the hero and yet before everyone's eyes... He managed to do exactly that. It's amazing... He's so effortlessly strong and graceful and seems like he's capable of anything..." 🏹Rook (Aka "The Guy with the Fuckass Bob"/"Chessman"/"Hunter"/"Frenchie"): "He's Rook. What else is there to say, honestly? Jokes aside he's.... Eccentric. Though that's kind of like saying the ocean is big or that Grim is a glutton- totally obvious. I can't help but find him just a bit interesting, though. I like how he's able to find beauty in literally everything, even if it's like. A massive trashcan or something I can picture him going like 'Ah, Mon Petit Étrangère! Do you not see how the sunlight reflects just so, illuminating even the most mundane things in its luxurious glow' Or something like that. Makes him really fun to talk to, cause you never know what he's gonna say next... I just wish that he wouldn't like. Fire arrows in my direction when he needs to get my attention from far away..." 🍎Epel (Aka "Apple Guy", usually just refers to him by name): "Dude. As someone who came from a somewhat rural area myself, I freaking love Epel! He reminds me a lot of some of the people in my hometown, if not a bit more on the extreme countryfolk side of things? I dunno. We bonded pretty quickly with one another because of how other students perceived us at first (though I guess part of that was because I was purposefully trying to disguise myself as a dude at first and... Kind of was failing miserably). He's got a totally admirable drive to him, and like I said earlier, he, Jack, and I often like to work out together. Epel makes for a pretty fun sparring partner once in a while, too."

Ignihyde

🔥 Idia (Aka "Idy"/"Sparky"/"Hothead"): "Dude might be an introvert, but he's totally fun to talk to! He's one of the few people who will listen to me ramble on about the games from my world with active interest. Leona wasn't too appreciative of the FNAF lore dump, but you know who was? Idia. And after that several hour long ramble, he decided to share a similar horror game with me and we hung out for a bit and played it together. I do wish he wasn't so skittish, though... Like, Bro... I just wanna show you this picture of Grim that I took the other day..." Bonus, "The Overblot 6" - "I... I can't blame him for what he did. The others I can certainly hold some level of contempt for their actions but... him? I was mad, sure, but... he was wracked with stress and grief over a life he never asked for and a brother that he lost. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing... He already struggled to meet my eyes, but he absolutely refused to do so until I dyed the grey strand of hair that I got from our fight." 🤖 Ortho (Aka "Ortie"/"Toto"/"Robo-Wonder"): "Ortho? I adore him! He's such a sweetie, if not a little terrifying sometimes when you diss his brother or his other friends. I have to admit, though, I'm super curious about his existence as a technomantic humanoid... the concept is super cool, and it... honestly makes me wonder if I could somehow find a way to use magic via technology..." Bonus, "The Overblot 6.5" - "I like hanging with Ortho as is, but sometimes I find myself wondering what the human Ortho was like... It's not a good thought process and I usually shut it down pretty quick, but sometimes I worry that he goes down that same path from time to time."

Diasomnia

🐉 Malleus (Aka "Horn Guy"/"Mal"): "Horn Guy is. An odd duck… er… dragon. To most people, he’s this big, intimidating mystery of a man. And yet? This man is desperately craving people to talk to and is honestly one of the biggest dweebs I’ve ever met. He carries around a little Tamagotchi and treats it like his own son for God’s sake! Honestly, if I get the chance, I’m just gonna start inviting him places more often. Dude needs it for real.” Bonus, "The Overblot 7" - “The incident? Listen, I’ve just. Put it on the back burner like I’ve done every other time… He wasn’t in his right state of mind, maybe even moreso than the others, so I’m just going to pretend it didn’t happen. Besides, the less I have to think about that whole… thing…, the better.” 🦇 Lilia (Aka "Gramps"/"Peepaw"/"General" [Post ch 7]/"Batty"/"Lils"): "Lils is pretty fun. He sometimes jumps out of nowhere which is a little terrifying, but I respect him. For an old geezer, he sure does seem to have a good sense of humor (read: the same sense of humor as most teens, I guess), and I kind of wonder what it'd be like to expose him to some of the memes from my world, haha! I'd also love to share some of the rock and metal from my world with him, too. It isn't particularly my jam, but there's some that I think he'd like. I'm just glad he seems to be pretty chill with me hanging around Horn Guy and the others. If I catch him while I'm visiting Diasomnia, he always seems to have a proud smile on his face... He kinda reminds me of my dad, in some ways, which now that I'm saying that out loud feels... Kind of weird since he's a high schooler." Bonus, "The Dreams" - "At first, I would've asked why the fuck his happiest dream or whatever was him reliving his war days fighting against an imperialist regime that killed a lot of people and did a lot of damage to the Briar Valley but... Well. I can't deny that it was sweet because a big part of it was him finding his family." 🗡️ Silver (Aka "Prince"/"Sil"/"Prettyboy"): "I don't know him all that well, but he's nice enough, I suppose. I always catch him snoozing in the weirdest places, so every once in awhile I'll have to wake him up and ask where he was going before he fell asleep. He's got this super regal air about him though that I just can't pinpoint..." Bonus, "The Dreams 2" - "HES A FUCKING PRINCE OF COURSE HE FELT ODDLY REGAL. But putting that aside... His strength to take everyone dream to dream like. 20 or so times? Fucking insane. I'm... Glad he was able to help me and the others, though. He's really a sweet guy and he really went through the wringer with this..." 🐊 Sebek (Aka "Crocodile Rock"/"Snappy"/"Scaly"/"Sebby"): "If Sebek were a dog, he would be a Chihuahua. All bark, no bite. If he were to just quiet down half the time, he'd be ten times easier to be around and talk to. Like, dude. I think Mal is neat, too, but you've gotta let the man breathe for a moment? That, and this class discussion is supposed to be about the effects of the 'rugged street rat's' influence on the economy of the Scalding Sands after he managed to marry their crown princess... Please... It is fun to talk to him once in a while about books, though, if you can get him to derail his thoughts from the Malleus train for five seconds." Bonus, "The Dreams 3" - "I hope that he's doing alright after... Well.. everything that we went through with the Malleus stuff. It's pretty obvious that it's affected his worldview in a pretty meaningful way, but I also hope he would be willing to let me and the other first years be a support for him."

Staff + Ramshackle

🐦‍⬛Crowley (Aka "Birdman"/"Headmage" [in polite company]/"That fucking bird that I hate"): "That fucking bird that I hate. I do not like the headmage, and anyone who knows me for even a little bit would tell you the same. I'm sick and tired of being his gopher, y'know? I can't wait for the day that someone cuts him down to size and puts him in his place... I guess I can't entirely hate him, since at least I have a place to stay now? I still don't like him, though." 🐕Crewel (Aka "Professor Crewel"/"Mr. Crewel"): "Professor Crewel is a bit terrifying sometimes, but he means well. Y'know how I mentioned that Vil helped me come up with a dorm uniform for Ramshackle? Yeah, Crewel also helped. Who would've thought that getting help from fashionistas would lead to some. Actually nice outfits? He's not too bad about making some smaller accommodations for myself since... No magic? He's definitely still super strict, though..." 🐈‍⬛Trein (Aka "Professor Trein"/"Mr. Trein"/"Dad" [on one occasion that she will never live down as long as ADeuce are alive]): "Everyone says that history is boring... I couldn't disagree more. Sure, Professor Trein has a bit of a monotone voice when he's lecturing, but it's still so fascinating to learn about everything in this world! Like Mr. Crewel, he's still pretty strict on grades, but I don't have to worry about Grim's performance in Mr. Trein's classes since I'm doing most of the work anyways." 🦌Vargas (Aka "Coach"/"Coach Vargas"/"Mr. Vargas"/"Meathead"): "Coach is... A total blockhead! Like, seriously!? I never thought it'd be possible to have gym classes with a man so stubborn and meatheaded before and... God it's exhausting... Every time I have gym class I leave with some kind of injury from overexertion, I swear! Ok... Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but... Well, at least he's pretty understanding of my situation(s) so... I'll take a win where I can... Don't like his class very much, though." 💀 Sam (Aka "Mr. Sam"): "Mr. Sam is AMAZING! He always has what you need, somehow... It's kinda crazy. He usually is willing to help me a bit when I need groceries in Ramshackle and he's also the one who gave me the bat I carry around. Something about some extra stock not for sale or whatever. He's really awesome and I appreciate his help with everything..." 🐾 Grim (Aka "My Son"/"My Boy"/"Grimmy"): "OH MY GOD that is my SON RIGHT THERE! I honestly didn't actually like Grim very much at first... We clashed a lot, y'know? He thought of me as just some magicless deadweight in the way of his goals of becoming a great mage and I just found him to be annoying... But after a while we just became friends. We've been through a lot, y'know, and I literally don't think I'd still be around if it weren't for Grim. Oh, and don't tell him I told you this, but he really is becoming so skilled and talented, he might not even need me anymore sooner or later, haha..." Bonus, "The Prologue" - "Sometimes I have dreams like the one I had when I first woke up here. I always see a massive beast with glowing blue ears and a forked tail... I really hope that that's one dream that doesn't turn out to be true."

RSA

🙃Chenya (Aka "Cheshire"/"Kitty-cat"/"Mr. NoBody"): "We haven't spoken much, but I like Chenya... At least from what I have learned about him? He speaks in riddles constantly, but I think that's just a fun quirk." ❄️ Neige (and the dwarves by extension) (No Nicknames): "I don't know him very well at all, but I'm just... I dunno. His overly cheerful and positive attitude is just as frustrating as Kalim's, if not MORESO. Maybe I'd like him more if I got to know him, but I'm just not a fan right now... Besides, all of his character portrayals just read the same to me, so I'm not too interested in his work, either."

Other

🔔 Rollo (Aka "Bell-man"/"Ugly Bob Man"/'Church Boy"): "Whoever did his hair needs to be fired immediately... Im kidding, but honestly after the stunt pulled at NBC, I don't like him much... A lot of people got hurt or could've even been killed! Sometimes I think about writing to him, though... Just to see if maybe he'd be willing to just hear me out on some of my own issues with magic..." 🦊 Fellow and 😺 Gidel (Aka "Mr. Honest/Foulsworth and Gidel/Gino"): "Some lowlife scammers who still managed to give me and the others a really fun time! Sure... We almost died... But like... I've gotten used to it at this point, really... Ok so the almost dying sucked ass actually but... The theme park time I spent with the others is priceless... So I guess there's that?" 🦴 Skully (No nicknames): "I have... No idea who he was, but every time I see his picture in the library, I always get the oddest feeling that we would have been really good friends..."

OCs

Heartslabyul

🎩 Lewis (Aka "Hatter"): "Jerk! Always leaving me to do his work when he's busy being collared or just fucking off to who knows where! ... Ok I'm overreacting a bit... Lewis isn't all that bad, he's actually really caring when it matters... He's just a bit hard to get help from if he's not interested."

🌺 Azalea (Aka "Azzy")( @nrcbookclub): "They're really friendly! I appreciate all their help and kindness so far, even though we didn't meet under the best conditions... I really enjoyed his stories about the book club though, so I'm looking forward to visiting and getting to know them and everyone else better!"

Savanaclaw

♌ Izem (Aka "Izzy"/"Bossman"): "If I had to pick someone on this campus to be my brother, it'd be Izem. He may act all big and tough, sure, but deep down he's a real softie. He gives really good advice, too."

Octavinelle

🍣 Olivine (Aka "Sharkbait"): "We have a few classes together, but we don't talk much. We just share circles, since we both know Rusul and Izem. He definitely always looks like he's plotting someone's murder, though (typically Azul's)..."

Scarabia

🦜 Rusul (Aka "Birdie"/"Birdbrain"/"Featherbrain"/"Ruffles"): "He kinda drives me up the wall sometimes, but he's not too bad. He's always up to something, though, and he just kind of does whatever he wants to. It's really funny, though, occasionally I'll catch him staring at some of the curtains or tapestries or other things around the building and judging them SO HARD. I wonder why he does it, but maybe he's just got an eye for these things?"

Pomefiore

🐁 James (Aka "Squeaky"): "Someone needs to pull his head out of his own ass sometimes I swear. I like him and all, but he's also super irritating when he gets into talking about himself. His Unique Magic has helped me out of a bind on more than one occasion, though, which is pretty neat. He also doesn't boast about this, for once, but he's... A SUPER talented actor. No wonder he's well-liked in the drama club! A shame he prefers directing, though." 🐈‍⬛ Lucretia (No nicknames): "Squeaky's little cat? She's fun, I guess.... Wait, what do you mean she was temporarily turned into a person what-?"

Ignihyde

🐈‍⬛Alden (Aka "Kitty cat"/"Lynx"/"Al") ( @nine-lives-lynx): "We've only started being friends, but she's super chill... I appreciate her curiosity and willingness to hear me out once in a while. He's very patient and relaxed, too, which is a pleasant change of pace from a lot of the more excitable people on this campus. I look forward to hanging out with him again."

🫒 Klen (No nicknames yet)(@/nrcbookclub): "Haven't gotten the chance to speak to him very much yet, but... I know he also helped out when I overblotted. He seems like he's a good guy, though, so I hope to get to know him better soon."

Diasomnia

🌙Casimir (Aka "Chuuni"/"Cas"/"Casi"/"Pipsqueak"): "It's a shame more people don't hang around Cas, the dude is a total blast! Sure he talks a bit odd, but then again, who doesn't from time to time? He's also an incredibly talented musician and he's always willing to play violin with me from time to time and/or give me feedback on my own piano skills. It's a bit hard to understand him at first, but once you've spent enough time around him, it's pretty easy to see what he means, since he's always saying exactly what he thinks... Well. Most of the time. I can't help but worry that he's not telling me everything sometimes..."

Staff + Ramshackle

RSA

🩺 Heinrich (Aka "Dr. V"/"Doc"): "What do you call a doctor who graduated at the top of his class? Doctor. What do you call a doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor. Joking aside, I actually have no doubt that the Doc is good at his job! But... He's really bad at words. Like painfully bad at words. Since my Overblot, I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to him about it but... Phew... He wasn't really the most helpful." 🩷 Kiyuu ( @/nrc-asteryn-crew)(Aka "Kiki"/"Yuu2") 🐦‍⬛Yuuto (@/nrc-asteryn-crew)

🥀Minerva (Aka "Min"/"Minnie"): "My best friend... Or so I thought. I haven't spoken to her since her last visit. It's probably for the best, though. I'm still really mad at her..." 🦝Eugene (No nicknames): "Haven't met him, but I know he exists. Apparently he's in the same situation as I am, thanks to Minerva's interference, I guess..."

Other

[copperbadge]

Royals/Ramblers is DONE. I split the difference and made two epilogues from the five, and one of them just looks like it's part of another chapter. I am devious in my ways.

I'm letting it marinate for the rest of the day; I'll give it a quick pass tomorrow, then let go of it for a few days so when I come back I'll be ready for slightly deeper editing. Aiming to post it perhaps October or November, we'll see how life goes.

It meant I could finalize a lot of dates in the timeline that I've been building. I've had to shift some things around, so now the trick is to figure out timing for the stories now in the pipeline, based on my notes. There's ten, more or less, and whether I end up writing them all is dubious; it reminds me of plotting out Laocoon's Children, an extremely ambitious task, but unlike Laocoon's Children, I control the canon and I don't have to deal with anyone's stupidity but my own. And I'm really only focused on five of the ten right now. Which, given I wrote four of these books in fifteen months, plus three books' worth (Royals/Ramblers) for a total of "seven" books in less than two years....I guess we'll find out. Might take a break at some point to write something more literary, that's up to the ADHD I think.

Anyway, it's not necessarily the order in which I'd like to write the stories, but I've been holding off on some of these for a year already, they'll keep. I think the slate coming up is:

2023 Autumn - The Football Novel, which is already 2/3 written; it will run through spring 2024.

2024 Spring - The Chicken Salad Wars, Simon's novel, pushed out from this year to next; it has to end in August, because of Plot.

2024 Autumn - The Roman Ruin story, aka Classics Nerds In Love; this has to come relatively soon because it's prior to Jerry finalizing the dissolution of his estate. There's no set ending for this one, but it will likely need to cover at least until late spring 2025.

2025 Spring - The Let's Legalize Psychedelic Davzda story. Not ideal to push this one so far, but it's possible when I get there I could swap it with the Roman Ruin story, though that could make certain plotlines awkward.

2025 Summer - Ofelia's story, which culminates in Galian elections in early fall.

Fortunately most of them should be less work and words than Royals/Ramblers, which is a bit of a sweeping familial epic. Those five are all more-or-less unrelated to the royals directly.

The rest of them are either barely conceptions or can be set at any time (like the Quaker Whaler novel that happens in the past anyway). Which is kind of nice; I now have both a specific agenda for the immediate future and resources that I can build out once I get closer to the end of that agenda.

Phew. What a ride, and I'm still in the middle of it.

(I'd post a bit of story from Royals/Ramblers but for the last 4-5 chapters it's all spoilery.)

[cha0ticr0b0tic]

Gladiator II Observation >:)

So I'm not going to watch Gladiator (2000) again until after I've got my T prescription and have been on it for a few months (aka not rewatching until this summer, maybe with my dad if he's down.) That said, Gladiator 2 is on the table as the inferior but still fun sequel, so I watched it last night after checking out some clips and TikTok edits lol.

Ridley Scott does a thing with his villains sometimes where he imbues them with adolescent traits – this worked really well for characters like Roy Batty (who I have literally written an entire college essay on, DM me if you're a fan of Blade Runner and want to read it) and especially Commodus. Joaquin Phoenix did a wonderful job at playing a complete slimeball who, in his first couple scenes, had me feeling legitimately sympathetic for him. What can I say, I was raised a military kid and I know how it feels when Dad's away being a hero and you feel like a second thought sometimes.

That adolescent energy is 10000% present in Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger's performances as Geta and Caracalla. They are completely codependent and completely underqualified; I've seen a lot of good posts on here about how Geta seems to be self-aware enough of his and his brother's weaknesses. On the one hand, pretty much all of Gladiator 2 feels like a rushed retread of the original (which is, to me, untouchable and perfect.) The original is definitely more melodramatic, there's more heart and sincerity and time for emotionality – like I said, this even extends to Commodus and his motivations. On the other hand, I can tell that Quinn & Hechinger must've spent a lot of time together fleshing out their characters and working on their dynamic because despite the fact that nobody has a ton of screen time except for Lucius as the protagonist, I'm definitely getting a shared codependent twin history – there's some serious Lore going on even if we as viewers don't know all the details.

I think the twins are looking for some kind of mentor or father figure even if it's not directly spoken out loud, which is what makes Macrinus' manipulation of both of them so brutal. Denzel Washington was electric in this role and easily one of the best things about the movie; he's also just having so much fun that it's hard not to have fun watching him. He's got the whole Shakespearean schemer thing down, he's got power and authority, and because he's two steps ahead of everyone, I wasn't sure what he was going to do next. (I also screamed with laughter at his chaotic delivery of "too much" when Lucius told him he wanted to fight the entire Roman Army, but that's an aside.)

Something I DID notice, however, was the use of physical contact which he used as he was manipulating certain characters while still coming across as someone approachable and trustworthy. In the scene where he basically acts as a landlord to Thraex, the latter is in his pajamas and totally shocked. Macrinus and Thraex had some kind of history together, and it also wouldn't surprise me if they were in some kind of relationship a while back. As Macrinus is explaining to Thraex that he wants him to act as a spy given his proximity to the government, he takes Thraex's hands in his. Thraex puts his hands on Macrinus' shoulders as he shares news of a plot, and Macrinus covers Thraex's hands while all this dialogue is happening. He does something similar with Caracalla as he plays into the more unstable emperor's feelings of inferiority/insecurity, and he goes so far as to take Caracalla by the arm, guiding him to a chair before giving him a drink. In the case of Caracalla, Macrinus is handling him with kid gloves, but I think in both cases there's something perhaps meant to be grounding in the act of taking someone by the hands – an "I've got you, I won't let you fall" sort of thing. But it's also a sign that Macrinus is the puppeteer. He won't let you fall because he's got you right where he wants you, and he will control you until you've outlived your usefulness. Body language!!

[rummigumi]

Based on my previous post on how common autistic traits are treated poorly in the dpxdc fandom, I want to go a bit more in-depth and give examples of what I mean (and some of my additional thoughts). This will seem to focus on Maddie and Jack, but that's because they're very autistic-coded characters and I believe often the uncomfortable treatment is born from wanting them to be antagonists and perceived poorly by other characters. Thus, common autistic traits are described in extremely negative ways because the creator wants viewers to think poorly of Maddie and Jack.

I'm putting the list under a read-more due to length, but I hope people still read it, and if you have questions or input feel free to comment. I also don't want this to feel like a callout so my examples are going to be a little vague, but I have encountered all of these when consuming fanworks. My goal is to bring awareness to this issue and create discussion around it, not shame anybody.

Having trouble 'reading a room' or picking up on people's tones/body languages. This is the main one that gets described very negatively, but is a very common autistic trait. I've read a lot of fics where Maddie and Jack are labeled as 'bad parents' because they are unable to pick up on Danny's body language and tones, as if they are intentionally ignoring his discomfort while using language that implies it is unintentional or due to ignorance ("they are unable to read the room"). This accurately reflects the show with them not always picking up on how uncomfortable he is, but drawing a direct line between 'unable to pick up on body language/tone' or 'unable to read a situation or room' to 'bad/neglectful parent' implies any parent that has trouble reading their child (aka most autistic parents) is automatically a bad parent. Additionally, any instance of them not being able to "read the room" and using that as a major character flaw or very negatively describing it would be applied to any autistic person with that trait. A lot of the discomfort I've had around this topic has to do with how it's described because of how the creator wants the situation to be percieved. There's ways to describe a trait and any shortcomings that come from it without someone with the same trait feeling a sinking pit in their stomach.

Wearing jumpsuits/wearing the same outfits every day. This isn't as big of an issue, but once or twice I've seen negativity around this. Primarily very negatively describing Maddie and Jack wearing the jumpsuits at inappropriate events, or just in general. Characters being confused or mildly put-off by it is fine, but I've read a fic or two where it's been described with absolute vitrol. Autistic people often have problems around types of fabrics/clothing and it's not uncommon to find a 'comfort clothing/outfit'. Many will buy multiple of an article of clothing they like so they can wear it everyday without worrying about laundry. Jack has been shown to develop a type of rash/skin irritation when wearing different clothing material than whatever the jumpsuits are made out of (though this was either retconned or forgotten in Season 3) - similar to the comfort/discomfort around certain fabrics for autistic people. Just, something to keep in mind.

Volume control/awareness. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but this is just another common autistic trait that's often described as a negative character flaw that contributes to why Jack/Maddie are immediately disliked by other characters and why the viewer shouldn't like them.

How other autistic-intended/coded characters react. It's a bit strange to me that characters that are written to be on the spectrum or have many autistic traits often are some of the most negative towards the Fentons' autistic-coded traits. This is why I believe the issue often comes from creators wanting viewers to not like Maddie and Jack. Damian and Tim are both pretty autistic-coded. Damian even more so when Bruce has been written as/implied as being on the spectrum (depending on the writer/run). Yet they tend to be some of the most critical to Maddie and Jack with their POVs based on their autistic-coded traits, even when the traits criticized are similar to their own. (Other DC characters like Barry Allen are autistic-implied, but this is already too long and most crossover materials are Bat focused.) I also have noticed less of an emphasis on DC characters' autistic-coded traits than Maddie and Jack's within fanworks. I won't speculate as to why, but it is curious.

Erasure of Jazz's autistic-coded traits. Jazz also has some autistic-coded traits that I feel are often ignored/erased. Like Maddie and Jack she sometimes struggles with social rules - primarily with boundaries. It's most often written as her being a nagging older sister who sticks her nose into Danny's business and thinks she knows best, but she's been shown to be kind of overly pushy with non-family too. (She's actually more like Jack personality-wise than Maddie, but that's a different post.) She also meticulously records all interactions with other people and uses those records to psychoanalyze others, and when they don't act in a way aligned with her analysis she has a meltdown. Just another thing to keep in mind.

Again, this list is based off of my experiences and what I've seen. It doesn't include everything, just the main points that have stuck with me. Other A-spec people might agree or disagree with me but I welcome any healthy discussion around this topic.

[gellavonhamster]

I wanna start reading Arthurian…..where should I begin

*rubs hands* oh excellent

I'd say one way would be to pick characters or events you'd like to read about the most and start with the texts focusing on them. @fuckyeaharthuriana has a lot of lists of different works, including those sorted by character (links in the blog description). Then, if you decide you enjoy Arthuriana in general, you can move to other texts. Another way would be to start with something well-known and short. I believe Sir Gawain and the Green Knight fits the bill well. The translation linked is more like an example, because there's a lot of them, and I frankly don't know which to suggest best; the one I read is by Bernard O’Donoghue, but I can't find it online. I've also heard very good things about Tolkien's translation - understandable, because duh, Tolkien - but haven't read it (yet). The works of Chrétien de Troyes are also very good and readable and imo very well represent what a medieval romance is. My favourite is Yvain: Knight of the Lion, and I haven't read his Perceval yet, but I liked all the other of his romances too. (Ok, maybe not Erec and Enide, but that's because I found the main character very annoying)

I've compiled a small list of Arthurian texts I recommend before when answering a similar ask, and I still stand by it, except, taking into account what I've read since then, I'd also add La Tavola Ritonda - an Italian Arthurian romance mostly focused on Tristan and Isolde, weird and violent but also very enjoyable, in my opinion, Parzival (vol. 1, vol. 2) by Wolfram Von Eschenbach - a German romance and my favourite version of the Grail story so far, and Lancelot-Grail aka the Vulgate Cycle + the Post-Vulgate. I'm not sure starting with the latter is a good idea, though, because it's five huge volumes, very readable (except for The History of the Holy Grail. You can skip that, if you ask me) and with a great impact on the later Arthurian texts, including Le Morte d'Arthur, but HUGE, it took me half a year, lol. (Le Morte is also long and often drier in style, but still not THAT long). But I simply had to mention it because it's such a foundational work. A part of the Vulgate Cycle has been adapted by Patricia Terry and Samuel N. Rosenberg as Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles or, The Book of Galehaut Retold. It's short and beautiful, and you don't need to be familiar with the rest of the Vulgate to read it.

Oh, and if you're interested in more modern retellings, Idylls of the Queen by Phyllis Ann Karr is an episode from Le Morte d'Arthur retold as a murder mystery solved by Kay and Mordred, and it's amazing. Also The Squire's Tales series by Gerald Morris is a lot of fun, kind of for a younger reader but very well-written and funny, even though some of his choices regarding certain characters drive me up the wall a little bit.

Also, here's a great site by @tillman with a lot of links to various Arthurian texts!

[myalchod]

2024 Fic in Review

Thank you so much for the tag, @foullightdiplomatcreator-blog! 💙

Total Number of Fics: 11 on AO3, plus another 7 only on Tumblr

Total Wordcount: 54,667 (posted)

Fandoms: only posted for one (Fate: the Winx Saga), despite plans

Smut scenes: 4, which is more than I thought I'd done 🤔

Most Popular Fic (by bookmarks): undone and divine with a total of 22, which seems kind of unfair when it's been hanging out since February of 2023 (don't laugh at me, Saul); if I'm looking at strictly for 2024 posting, then a tie between make a mercy out of me and anchor, both with 6.

Most Popular Fic (by kudos): Also undone and divine; if I follow the same 2024 only rule, then it's a tie between restless and the shine i saw at 35 each

New things I tried: - wrote my first ever proper slash (anchor), since I've only done implied before - wrote an entirely new POV for a character I'd never really even considered the internal thoughts of (Ben, for hold me like water) - for that matter, thinking of characters I had pretty defined headcanons for in ways I hadn't thought about, thanks to trying to lean into @crazycatfaery's headcanons for her HEX gift -- which was pretty fun

Fic I spent the most time on: Probably a toss-up between hold me like water (slipping through your fingers), which is not surprising given that it was the second-longest fic I've ever written and also for the difficulties of getting it sorted out, and the shine i saw, because I've been poking at the rest of it off and on and also it's got a solid amount of worldbuilding incorporated.

Fic I spent the least time on: It feels like cheating to say so, but the various three-sentence fic meme fills, because those are the definition of flashfiction. I love them, honestly -- they're so much fun trying to figure out the framing on. For the ones that made it to AO3? Falling, aka "well, what did you expect when you gave me BenRose and 'goodbye', @lustrouswhite?" 😂 Pun unintended, it just fell into place very readily.

Favourite thing I wrote: How dare you make me choose between my children?! I love all of them or they wouldn't have been posted. 😭 But one that I love an awful lot is make a mercy out of me, because the sheer amount of diabolical cackling that went into writing it was so damned much fun. There is something entirely too fun about ✨in your canon, making it worse✨.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? Yes. Definitely yes. 😂 (See the goals question below for more explanation.)

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: If you asked me this last year, I'd have had an easy answer. This year ... oof. I think the Lunrah fic I wrote for @anne-in-dreamland's birthday might be the one here, because both the ship and Luna's POV probably get less visibility than most of what I write? But I enjoyed writing only know (when you let her go), and trying to get into the head of a younger and perhaps less hardened Luna, so ... I guess? (As a random side tangent, I am endlessly entertained by how Fate has me poking at a bunch of different ships, including ships with the same characters, when normally I'm very much "this is my OTP and I will not even consider alternatives because that's what the O stands for". This show!)

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Oooooh, interesting, because then the question becomes what does it say about me? Of the things I posted, probably hold me like water, because as much as I may dislike the idea I was channeling my past for all it's worth in the science nerd rambling, but also because there was a moment in the last chapter where things went in a way I did not expect them to, and the more I thought about it the more that was an echo of certain personal emotional resonances this year.

Biggest Disappointment: I started an angry coping fic in the wake of the Rook's Rest episode of HotD, but somehow my emotional state after that episode was even more of a confused mess than I expected it to be, so I never ended up finishing it. One day, perhaps -- or perhaps I got what I needed out of it -- but it feels like its moment has passed. In general, not finishing (or making the progress I wanted to) on things I had planned was probably the biggest one. My sequel for HEX 2023 got out of hand, for example, and then I got distracted. I have so many WIPs, and I really wish I was better about finishing things before I start new ones. Stupid distractible corvid brain.

Biggest Surprise: The endless suggestibility of my brain. Truly endless. IYKYK. 😭

My Favourite Part Of Fandom This Year: The ongoing delight that is the FtWS fandom in particular. I love this stupid dead fairy show and each and every one of you. 💙 Screeching with people in the server or in DMs, even if it's just these fragments of ideas that go nowhere, is endlessly delightful and I adore it.

Writing goals for next year: - not to put pressure on myself with numbers, and to be patient with my brain when it goes no - that said ... actually write some of the stuff I was going to in 2024, and get them to the point of being able to post, even if it's not the whole thing. Like I said above, I have a ridiculous number of WIPs, and I'd really like to pare that down (even if I'm sure that way lie even more ideas). Notably, I want to finish undone and divine and, ideally, my HEXquel (or at least enough to post some). - more blorbo pain. delicious blorbo pain. (There is another whumpfest WIP I am itching to get back to, but I promised @faytalepsy that I'd do something kinder first so that requires me to finish the shine i saw first.) - fill some of those prompts languishing in my inbox - do a better job of answering comments, because I used to be good and now I'm shite and I love comments and y'all are so great leaving them but I am not 😭 - and perhaps it's an oddity, but ... integrate smut into a larger story, since I don't think I've ever really done that and I'm not sure if it's how my brain works that makes me separate the two or ...

Did you meet last years goal?: If you asked me at the beginning of the year, then less; I was hoping to do about double what I ended up with. I ended up revising midyear and targeting 50k, which I was pretty sure I'd miss, and so it was a surprise when HEX ended up pushing me just over that 50k target. I definitely didn't end up writing some of the things I had in mind, but that's what next year is for.

Tagging: @rxnefairs, @backjustforberena, anyone I tagged above who's not done it, and anyone else who sees this and is in the mood ... but only if you want to 😘 Never any tagging pressure!

[rinamars]

I always wondered what fics do my favorite authors read bc maybe if I start reading them too, I'll be able to write like them 😤 Kidding aside, can you recommend some Erwin x Reader fics that you really like/inspire you to write? I'm fine with on-going ones 🤩

little anon i could KISS you!! i've been looking for an excuse to make an erwin fic recs post so here we go *cracks knuckles* brace yourselves heheh (warning: most of these recs are 18+)

first of all: everything @riewritten has ever written. EVERYTHING. that goes without saying. her brain is so big. i wish i could take a trip inside her mind. rie ily

this is a story of the sea by shinzouing is a canonverse eruri x reader fic, where the three enter a relationship (or rather, erwin enters a relationship with both of them. levi and reader are idiots at first. the pining is so delicious though). where do i even begin to talk about this masterpiece? it broke me. it seriously broke me. i'm just going to say that the universe she has created in this story (as well as in the sequel which i'm going to talk about in a sec) feels so real and so right that when i finished it i needed a minute to remind myself what details that are ACTUALLY canon and what aren't. peak writing i swear. heartbreaking, but worth it.

after tiasots has broken your heart, go read beyond the sea by the same author and let it piece it back together!! it's currently being posted, and it's basically the continuation of tiasots BUT erwin survives at shiganshina (unlike in tiasots). again, same thing: peak writing, and a little universe it's sooo easy to get lost in. this story will end up living rent free in your mind, trust me.

aaand also set in the tiasots universe is certain obscure things!! it's three chapters, and in each of them they take turns between being dominant or submissive. this is smut that goes a lot harder than what you can find in tiasots but everything shinzouing writes is pure gold

to complete the eruri x reader category (aka the fics that made me go "i think i might be into the concept of throuples") there's two lovers by feelingthorny. it's also set in canonverse. erwin and levi are in an established relationship, one day they invite reader into their bed, and... Big Feelings ensue. i have another fic by feelingthorny by recommend, and oh man, she truly has a way of writing emotions that is so evocative and poetic, it truly drags you into the moment and you are able to feel exactly what they are feeling, they're so immersive. the smut parts literally drip with body worship, it's insane. beautiful.

the other fic by feelingthorny i HAVE to mention is close call. this one is pwp, but FUCK this erwin is SO DREAMY. and, as one might tell, the writing is just marvelous.

next, i recommend every! single! fic! that belongs to the to build a home series by nylondreams. the romance, the intimacy, the tenderness... ahh, they're so lovely to read. and *cough* the first fic in the series gave me a breeding kink *cough*

more recommendations in the "horny fics that also made me fall in love even more" category: e major, uncorked and treasured memories, all by whatsherquirk. delicious. that's all i'm going to say.

prying eyes by SecretsOfHarprocrates is in my opinion a depiction of erwin that's very close to how he'd behave in canon (if canon included sexy times)

four christmases by ghost_party was !!! ok i don't really know what to say about this one because it's been a while since i read it, but you have to trust me and check it out!!

i think that's all for now, i hope i haven't forgotten anything (if i have i'll just reblog this post and add more). happy reading <3

now PLEASE give me an excuse to make an eruri fic recs post (or even a levi one)

[not-poignant]

Hey, hey! Random kind-of-writer here, who struggles to bring words on paper and looking for help/advice? I think I finally found my problem, which comes in the shape of 'my third person pov writing sounds like an ikea building instruction'. AKA: All that what the pov character perceives is there, things are happening/the plot is there but the writing kind of lacks thoughts/feeling/inner monolog? For years I've followed your stories and I look up to your writings skills. Especially you handling of pov and that gorgeous mixture of what the character perceives and what is happening in their head. Do you have maybe any tips/insight how do you find a balance?

Hi anon!

So firstly I'm going to point you to my dialogue research post that I put up recently, because dialogue research applies to a characters inner dialogue as well, and will kind of give you a guide as to how they're likely to be talking in their heads. (How I write as the narrator in A Stain that Won't Dissolve is actually somewhat similar to how Alex speaks, I even go out of my way not to use certain words if I don't think Alex would know what they mean).

Otherwise there's several approaches you can take.

You can imagine that the character is basically writing a journal entry or a diary entry. The narrator is, in a way, piggy backing off that. You're a fly on the wall of a character's brain. Sometimes they're going to have lots of thoughts, sometimes they're going to have none. Sometimes my characters are literally just narrating what's happening no thoughts attached, sometimes they're narrating with thoughts attached, and sometimes they're just thinking about stuff and missing what's going on in front of them.

Diary entries are like that too. They can vary from 'today I did this, did this, walked the dog, had this for dinner, and read some of this book' to 'oh my GOD I HATE this person sO MUCH and I really can't BELIEVE this is happening to me omg the DOG needs to be walked I keep FORGETTING.'

Somewhere in there, is your character.

Some characters are more - for lack of a better word - detached or utilitarian than others, some have their voices 'come to life' over the course of a story, because they're growing (Gwyn can be a bit like this).

Some characters are very observational, some are stuck in their heads. Some ground themselves through noticing their surroundings, others notice how other people are acting and behaving (especially true with trauma, Astarion notices setting way less than he notices how people are behaving around him).

It might help you to write down some little sentences like 'this character notices people a lot because people hurt them' or 'this character looks for nature because they like nature' or 'this character is very sensitive to smells so they constantly are aware of how things smell.'

From there, I am very sorry to say, it's just a matter of practice! This stuff becomes easier the more you do it. At first, it will be normal for the characters to feel a bit mechanical and not very natural, and that's because you're still building the skills you need to bring them to life from the ground up. Most writers don't have these skills even if they know what they're supposed to be learning, and they can only be learned through trying, making some mistakes, having some successes, and keeping on with the words.

How you write the first paragraph of a character this year, will be very different to next year, if you just keep writing.

Unfortunately, you can't skip past that part either. I can give you lots of tips, and you can do lots of research and guidance for yourself, but at the end of the day the best way to make it feel natural and have some depth, is to actually just keep writing characters and reflecting on what you've written, notice the paragraphs you like as well as the ones you don't, and building and building from there.

I wish you all the words, anon! It's normal to feel dissatisfied with your writing sometimes, that means you know you have room to grow - but the best thing is, you're already growing if you're noticing this stuff!!! That's actually a positive! You'll go through periods of feeling satisfied, and then dissatisfied, if you keep on keeping on, and looking at what the writers you love are doing, you'll eventually really just pick it up until it feels quite natural to you <3