#alastor header

[chaoscouncilcreaturecorner]

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Headers #11 Part 2

Tw: bright colours

[voxslays]

EXTRAS MASTERLIST

A/N: This Masterlist mainly includes characters from other fandoms, Masterlist for past events (haztober & fluffmas), character moodboards, and multi character fics—mainly for Hazbin.

Angel’s Moodboard ⟡ Charlie’s Moodboard ⟡ Cherri’s Moodboard ⟡ Fat Nugget’s Moodboard ⟡ Lucifer’s Moodboard V1 & V2 ⟡ Rosie’s Moodboard ⟡ Vox’s Moodboard V1 & V2 ⟡ Vaggie’s Moodboard ⟡ Velvette’s Moodboard ⟡ Vees Moodboard ⟡ Niffty Moodboard ⟡ Husker Moodboard

“Jail is fun.” Stanley Pines x Reader ⟡ “Howdy, Striker!” Striker x Reader ⟡ Haztober 2024 Masterlist ⟡ Fluffmas 2024 Masterlist ⟡

Elle Woods! Reader ⟡ Hazbin Men as Dads ⟡Hazbin Women as MomsThanksgiving with Hazbin ⟡ Snowball Fight(s) ⟡ Mistletoe ⟡ Mistletoe Part 2 ⟡ Adam and Alastor fighting over the Reader ⟡ Adamsapple x Reader Headcannons ⟡ Secret Santa ⟡ Polyandry ⟡ Incorrect Quotes 1 ⟡ Incorrect Quotes 2 ⟡ Incorrect Quotes 3

[ratofdp]

hazbin hotel

♤ not repost

♤ like and reblog

[tsukiko26]

Vox ~ Moodboard

Free to use 😊

[lady-lilly-gray]

wake up besties new pfp just dropped

[selfshippinglover]

I’m starting to think you have a crush on alastor…

Hello again(?) anon! I am madly in love with him why thank you for noticing<3333

[theissuewithred]

Screw u new pfp is alastor time

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

@nightofnetter Excuse me, I know I get this question all the time, as well as (abled-bodied) people just thinking that I must be aroace, or even, as insufferable Big Name Fan petitprincess1 would say, "mentally disabled", by default because I'm wheelchair bound which means I face like, real oppression and have more pressing issues in my life to worry about than obsessing over fanfiction for a show that I don't even like, but I'm reblogging the entire wasted tangent that I guess if you're ableist, (which I'm guessing that you are, judging by the obnoxious moving gif that could cause actual serious physical harm to someone in your header) you could say that your whole rant that I didn't need to see anyway has fallen on deaf ears here, but I've decided to reblog with full context (despite you trying to hide it like I wouldn't notice) in order to publicly humiliate you anyway, because I think I'm going to genuinely enjoy being the one asking these very same questions that have been asked of me for years, for once.... Um, so, like.... I know that you're obviously not okay right now so I'm not going to ask that... But like... I'm not sorry because just like... What the genuine ever loving fuck is the matter with you? What the fuck happened to you? And what the fuck is wrong with you?

First of all, if you don't even like the show that much, then stop reading the fanfiction and leave the fandom and you can remove all of the posts pertaining to it from your blog, including mine. Nobody needs anymore obnoxious fantis here, and if I were you I would just go ahead and have your blog be deleted all together.

Second of all, and again, the only thing here that's truly harmful is the fact that you have a tacky moving gif as your header that may cause people with certain sensitivities to have actual seizures...

Like, is that ... Cop? In your obnoxious moving gif header that could cause seizures, also having a seizure? ... Were you having a seizure when you wrote that huge wall of text in the tags of my own post thinking that I wouldn't catch it and reblog in full for everyone else to see just to make sure you know that I hate you? I would assume that you were having your own little seizure on my post just then, all things considered.

Thirdly, I wasn't going to bring this up because I hate minors being in this fandom (and I do hope for your sake that you're at least not one):

But this video made by a lovely 25 year old ace in the fandom showcases the fact that terminally online aroaces just like you have been harassing and bullying aces just like her for using fiction to experiment with and figure out their own sexuality and where they might fall on the ace spectrum and she talks about as well as provides evidence for the fact some of the people using Alastor to help figure themselves out also happen to be aroace minors who are being bullied, harassed and policed by militant aroace weebs just like you and while I don't necessarily approve of minors being in this fandom at all I do think it's very sad so I wanted to just show at least the thumbnail of this video to prove that it exists and it's not only the "acephobic" allosexuals (is that how you say it?) that think your behavior has passed obnoxious and annoying at this point and that you need to stop with this shit. Right. Now.

Aroaces like you are the only ones causing such harm and isolation in this fandom (aside from like, all of the general harm and isolation genuine fans have faced for just daring to try and spread joy for our little show out in the open or even speak about it in any kind of more "public" way, which is the kind of the exact sour vibe you're contributing to by just making an almost immediate disclaimer. on a fan post. about how you need people to know how you're already 'not that much a hazbin fan' which like... Your opinion on the show is one that I didn't *NEED* to know at all? And on my very genuine hazbin fan post. Like, what the fuck man I already don't care?!) and maybe this is the reason why nobody likes you.

Now kindly delete your whole blog, including your reblog of my post, and fuck right the Hell off.

~As a cripple~ (keep my reclaimed slur out of your rabid arse little bat mouth) I just want to add one more thing: That I was only ever able to see a doll like me repped in Barbie Movie TM at least once and for a mere split second of screentime before she was shipped the fuck off to the doll hospital, locked away, never to be seen again, isolated from her peers forever, and you know Becky couldn't have shit in Barbie's little aroace Dreamhouse because her wheels couldn't fit in there anyway, she just wasn't able to fit in and they didn't want to address that the house itself wasn't accessible to her which is why she wasn't included in Abled-Bodied Barbie Land, so it's no wonder why she'd rather go to Hell with Bild Lili and share more than a smile with The Radio Demon and have her Service Deer push her around all she wants 'cause I guess she's a little bit more of a Bratz Ghoul now ... ;)

And I think you are the type to block evade, so I'll be warning you right now that if you don't accept you're blocked and you try to make contact with me or my posts again, I will just have to kill you, again! 💀🔪🩸

Okay the way they're being playful with Alastor's aceness like he doesn't even know what it is? Is so good!

Still fluid and open to interpretation, meaning people can still ship him! 💀🌹

[radioapple-heathen]

Radioapple Fic Rec MasterList (Part 1/2)

(as of 03/04/2025)

Disclaimer:

Hey all! As is always the case with rec lists, this is completely subjective and curated to my somewhat picky tastes! For background, I am a panromantic/demisexual 30+ married woman with AuDHD. I've also been in fandom/writing for 20+ years.

My Preferences:

> I can be picky about my slowburns. I have ADHD so if it takes more than 100k> to hold hands, occasionally my brain goes BRRR and gives up altogether. Absolutely no shade to very slow burns, they can be absolutely beautiful, it's just the way my attention span works.

> I don't read unhappy endings or hurt no comfort fics (who hurt u?). However, if an unhappy or ambiguous ending happens within a series installment, I can continue so long as some sort of happy or hopeful ending is on the horizon. > I am very much a monogamous RA shipper. However, there are a few fics on this list (like... 2 or 3, very small amount) that there is some kind of background poly relationship happening but the RA boys take center stage.

It goes without saying that this is not an exhaustive list. There are nearly 6k radioapple fics on A03, I am sure I have overlooked some bangers or fan-favorites. These are just MY personal favorites, the ones that I have personally bookmarked to re-read again and again in the future. If I simply listed fics that I liked/enjoyed reading, this list would be 87x times as long.

I organized this list to the best of my ability so that people can 1. find specific tropes they are interested in and 2. avoid potential triggering subject matter. However, at the end of the day, you are in charge of your mental health and are responsible for reading the tags of each fic on this list. Always take care of yourself first.

There are many fics that have overlapping tropes/subject matter. I tried my best to place fics under headers that I found the most fitting. Occasionally, I could not for the life of me PICK ONE, so there are a few fics listed in multiple places.

In an attempt to embrace self-love and pride in my works, I will add my own fics as well.

If you find an error with how I've labeled something, please PM me and PLEASE PLEASE be kind about it. I've spent WEEKS on this rec list and have put so much work into it! <3 Part 2 will be up shortly.

Legend:

If something is labeled as 'Haitus,' that means it has not been updated in at least six months (since Sept 4th, 2024)

If Mature/Explicit Content,

🍎📻 = Top!Lucifer/Bottom!Alastor

📻🍎 = Top!Alastor/Bottom!Lucifer 

📻🍎🔄 = Top/Bottom Versatile

If the fic is not tagged with this info and I was unable to glean it from the material (i.e. hands jobs, oral sex, mutual masturbation, then it will not have these designations)

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!!!!!

Enemies/Rivals to FWB/Lovers/A Secret Third Thing | Developing Relationship

'loml' by radioapple-heathen: Rated M || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Lucid Dreams' by CyberWords: Rated T-M || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'To Earn Your Favor' by downpourdaisy: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'RadioApple Broadcast' by blatantblue: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'machinations' by fiveandnocents: Rated T-M || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'With a Coffee and a Caress' by winterveritas: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Ruination of Lucifer' by Syaunei: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Wicked Game' by TrashDemonx: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'No hiding place down here' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'an acquired heart' by finalizer: Rated T-M || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Blood, Water, and Other Bonds' by Minimalistless: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Hunger Pains' by TheAffableScamp: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'if you could tell me (what you want from me)' by FrostbiteFable: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my tongue's acquired tolerance (for tastes i couldn't stand)' by FrostbiteFable: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my kingdom come undone' by literalmetaphor: Rated M || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'A Red (Thorny) Rose' by raindrop_rouge: Rated T-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'no good deed' by Rainbowcarousels: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Line of Sight' by yersifanel: Rated T-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'I'm fine, just swell, so totally well' by writeflightdoingalright: Rated M Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'How to Seduce the King of Hell' by johnnyfucksup: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship' by keelywolfe: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'What the Hart Wants' series by yersifanel: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

Awake, Arise by iffervescent: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Wonderful Nothing' by commonoceanfish: Rated M || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Ruled by the Vibe I'm Bringing (Serving Myself)' by commonoceanfish: Rated M || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'dating alastor 101: a step by step guide' by highinfinities: Rated M-E || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'Never Enough' by corgiss: Rated T-E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Through Time, Through Death' by PIRI_OOCH: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Soulmate AU || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'Hail, Horrors, Hail' by daphnerunning, Galiko: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

Human!Alastor x Devil!Lucifer

'All changed, changed utterly' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Series || Complete

'somewhere down the line' by kj_crwn: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Born for Adversity' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'A Momentary Radiance' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Something In Me Understood' by winterveritas: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'God Forsaken' by Kisama: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Oneshot || Complete

Murder Boyfriends/Husbands | Courting Via Murder

'Mine to Avenge' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'eat your heart out' by fallingtheseus: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Pass The Knife' by SiegeGunn: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

QPR (Queer Platonic Relationship)

'Managerial Liberties' by Budinca: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'something in the static' by Adventurer515: Rated T || Human!Al x Guardian Angel!Lucifer || Multi-Chap || Complete (Note: This fic is slated to be part of a series. As of this time, the ending is open/ambiguous).

'to every thing there is a season' by issu (Issushaim): Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'for he gives to his beloved sleep' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'loveproof' by spoondrifts: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

Bonus: QPR plus Sentient Hotel

'Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War' by Budinca: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'The Care and Keeping of Radio Demons' by AlligatorEyes: Rated M || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress || (Note: This series is not explicitly tagged QPR but those are the vibes I'm picking up on. I will edit if anything changes.)

Human AUs

'Bloody Mary (Drink Me Down)' by highkey_louki: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Passing Ships' by Biblicalplague + theparanoidandroid: Rated M || 📻🍎🔄 || 1920s AU || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'If You Don't Let Go (Then I Won't Let Go)' by a_wrinkle_in_truth: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Hand-Grenade Heart' by a_wrinkle_in_truth: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Pacific Rim AU || Series || Complete

'Hope Against Hope' by OrlesianHat: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Y is for YouTube' by alexjosten, lordofgravity: Rated T || Modern AU || Oneshot || Complete

Angst with a Happy Ending | Hurt/Comfort

'Even as a Shadow, Even as a Dream' by winterveritas: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'T is for Tax Evasion' by CyberWords: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Between The Shadow And The Soul' by winterveritas: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'Chokehold' by keelywolfe: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Personal Injury' by keelywolfe: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'i dont wanna keep secrets just to keep you' by bakunawa_moon: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete  

Swing (a grand gesture) this way by Miizurichan: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my love, where did you go?' by astralitte: Rated T || Greek Gods AU || Oneshot || Complete

Consensual but not safe or sane | Cannibalism as a Love Language | Dead Doves Everywhere

'imagine being loved by me' by deliciously_devient: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'make a devotee out of me' by deliciously_devient: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'A Gentlemen's Accord, If You Will' series by walkingcatfish: Rated E || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'Strange Appetites' by Gotllphi: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Human Al x Devil Lucifer || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'Thread Devilly' series by Miizurichan: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'By Name' by Eunicorne: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

Lucifer is The Devil for a reason

'Price of Admission' by TrashDemonx: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'The Devil in I' by TrashDemonX: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Oneshot || Complete

'where there is no water' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'I Am the Devil's Favourite Sacrificial Lamb' by HuntingPeople: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Human AU || Oneshot || Complete

Fluff | Domestic | Romantic | Pining | Slice of Life | Soft | Intimacy Exploration

'My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys' by radioapple-heathen: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'you were never not mine' by radioapple-heathen: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'No Rest For the Wicked' by MothballMilkshake: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Irregular Programming' by keelywolfe: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'pretty angel, pretty love of mine' by SadMothNoises: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lavender and Smoke' by pervertanarchy: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Intimacy is Uncharted Territory' by flaggermousse: Rated G-M || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'False Witness' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'W is for Worship' by astralitte: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

‘Finders Keepers’ by egg_thief: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Social Cues' by DecemberCamie: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lips Like Yours' by commonoceanfish: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Treading New Waters' by egg_thief: Rated T || Omegaverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my love is mine, all mine' by silverbindings: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'The Waking Up Is The Hardest Part' by CandyWraptor: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

Proposals | Marriage  

'He of Living Entity' by sithmarauder: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'The Definition of Insanity (Results May Vary)' by MothballMilkshake: Rated M || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'a bird on a spit in his chest' by orphan_account: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

MPregnancy || Child-rearing

'Two Princes' by BleakCinema: Rated T-E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'Cataclysmic Catechism' by wyldefire: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Expectant' by TheAffableScamp: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'the very flowers of music' by Rainbowcarousels: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄|| Canonverse || Series || Complete

'acts of creation' by fallingtheseus: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'light of the waning moon' by bakunawa_moon: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Complete In You' by wanderthoughtfanfic: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

[contumacious-arcadia]

FIC REC POST! 🎉 FIC REC POST! FIC REC POST! 🎉 FIC REC POST!

SPN FICS:

Master of my Fate by @friendofcarlotta -Destiel, 88K words, complete. -A destiel pirate AU!? YES. Dean is a pirate captain, Castiel is the son of a rich plantation owner, shenanigans ensue. There is a faux kidnapping that eventually turns into a real hostage situation and plenty of high stakes romance.

The Benjamin Franklin Key-and-Kite Experiment by beerenee -Destiel, 122K words, complete. -Dean meets Emmanuel (Cas with no memory) for the first time when Sam drags him to that faith healer in season 1. They are inexplicably drawn to one another as 'who/what is Emmanuel' becomes the focal point of their case. Will they figure it out?

All Things Shining by askance and standbyme -Destiel, 142K words, complete. -Kind of an AU case-fic, but with heavy Destiel. The entire fic is set along the Mississippi River and it's a beautiful pastiche. The romance between Dean and Castiel is given some heavy metaphysical weight, but when is it not?

Paradigm by @quiettewandering -Destiel, 84K words, complete. -Kind of an endverse AU... or so it seems. I don't want to give away the twist here. Dean is surviving alone among the wreck of the Croatoan virus when he runs into a mysterious man who is also somehow managing to survive alone. Dean wants to team up with the stranger, Castiel, but the man is adamant that he must travel alone.

HAZBIN FICS:

Something Very Silly by blaquerose08 -Radioapple, 35K words, in progress. -Still a slowburn, but super funny! Anthropomorphic duck therapists, tailors, and an army; oh my. I read through the first 12 chapters without even realizing it. Seriously, I came to the end of the published story and looked up, expecting to see chapter 2 or 3 in the header. The writing just flows, and it carries you right along with it.

Theonexia by @fabelyn -Radioapple, 235K words, in progress. -Slowburn with Lucifer as Hades and Alastor as Persephone. Once I got into this one, I couldn't put it down! I refresh this one regularly. Definitely waiting on baited breath for new chapters 💜

T is for Tax Evasion by cyberwords -Radioapple, 12K, complete -Amazing one shot! Romantic, high stakes, and amazing world building! Love the fanon lore written into this fic and I would 1000% read an entire novel built off this idea.

And of course, I will shamelessly plug my own fic, What A Soul Can Accomplish, which is: Hazbin Hotel/Radioapple, 256K words, in progress slow burn mystery with cosmic horror elements. 😘

[bananadramaaa]

Your work is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I’m so impressed by the shapes you give characters, they all look so distinctive to me! Out of curiosity, is your header of alastor’s family? If they are or aren’t they still looks so good! Is there a rebloggable post of it? I love it so much to have a chance to reblog how fantastic these characters look! If not, that’s all cool, and have a great day!

Thank you so much 🥺💜

And yeah, my header with Al's family :3. A rare peaceful evening at their house. My friend ocelot-t drew this for me as a gift, so there wasn't any separate post with this art piece.

[radioisntdead]

This is my first time requesting anything from you so I hope this idea is okay but would you be willing to write something where the reader is Alastor's child (I live for Dad Alastor) and they meet Susan? Maybe they get really attached to her so every time they visit Cannibal Town Alastor has to reluctantly take his kid to see 'Grandma Susan' and be civil around her?

Only if you're up for it though! I love your blog so MUCH and I live for both the platonic Alastor and Susan content you do

-TheAmberFist ♡

Good evening my dear! I did headcanons I hope that's alright, I adore your blog's content as well! I reread your "leave it all on the dance floor" series often! I positively adore how you write Alastor's and the readers friendship! Also thank you so much for requesting this because that gives me an excuse to bring back this header!

Papa Alastor doesn't like Grandma Susan.

Alastor & child reader, Susan & adopted against Alastor's will grandchild reader.

Warnings: Cannibalism also reader is a fawn because deers.

HEADCANON TIMEEEEE

Much like my other Papa Alastor fics, he either picked you up off the streets, or you just straight up followed him home like a stray puppy.

He unwillingly became a father.

I imagine he was talking with your Auntie Rosie and You wandered off to explore Cannibal town!

Despite being in hell, it seems safe enough for children considering there were other children around.

Anywho you stumbled upon a cranky Susan and just immediately started going

"I like your dead rodent scarf!"

"It's a fox, what are you blind?"

Long story short she unwillingly became a grandmother that day because you would NOT LEAVE HER ALONE not that she minded

Alastor has to deal with you whining that you want to see Grandma Susan, dude does NOT want to call her your grandmother, in his eyes you only have one grandmother above that you will unfortunately never meet.

"I wanna see Grandma Susan!"

"She's not your grandmother, why in the devil's name would you want to see her?"

"Because she's my grandma,"

"No she's not."

"yes she is!"

"No."

"Yes!"

Que a repeat of no's and yes until he eventually relents because you are NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.

I imagine Susan enjoys your company but also uses you to peeve off the embodiment of red-40 that is your parent.

Like Alastor leaves you with her for whatever reason and is just like

"Don't give them any candy, no more then two juice boxes anymore and they get rowdy."

Guess who got a little goodie bag of candies and had a whole box of CapriSuns?

Also I imagine you as a fawn, specifically one of these [no this totally isn't an excuse to show the deer pictures I have saved noooooo]

Susan puts either a bow or bow tie on you, I imagine she breaks into the hotel sometimes when Alastor is out and is just like "I'm taking my grandchild out, fuck off!"

Vaggie tried to stop her once and nearly lost an arm, so far the only ones that are successful in getting Susan to not kidnap you is Angel dust [aka your favorite babysitter] ,Rosie, Alastor himself, for everyone else they have to risk losing limbs, Charlie could probably coax you away from Susan.

They banned her from the hotel, set up security measures.

She keeps getting in they don't know how, they're terrified.

Nothing stops Susan.

Alastor keeps cordial with Susan because he can't do anything to Susan because of Rosie and also because much to his displeasure you are attached to the ornery old bitch.

Alastor wants to take you on a father-child day? Torturing sinners, getting cannibal ice cream, getting souls,

He can't BECAUSE Susan snuck into the hotel and snatched you up!

On the flip side, Susan wants to take you shopping because the modern [1920's-1930's] clothing Alastor dresses you in is horrendous, Her words not mine

But no Alastor literally just picked you up and teleported away, how rude! How dare he keep her from her grandchild?? Ungrateful brat who raised him? [She's lucky Alastor did NOT HEAR THAT, just because he's dead and his ma is in heaven does NOT MEAN HE'S NOT STILL A MAMA'S BOY the good version ]

I imagine as a consequence Susan starts acting like Alastor's parent, like threatening to ground him, telling him to go in the corner and think about what he's done, chastising him for his awful haircut, then grabbing a bowl and scissors.

Alastor hid behind Rosie while Susan and you looked for him because she was definitely planning on giving him a bowl cut.

Good evening folks! Oh how I've missed writing for Susan! I missed our grumpy grandma, I hope you enjoyed this! As per usual thank you for tuning in I hope to see you again soon!

[tsukiko26]

Adam ~ Moodboard

[pixxiecup]

red hot hugs build a bear stimboard ^___^ no specific theme !

top header [ ❤️ ⚰️ 🖤 / ❤️ ⚰️ 🖤 / ❤️ ⚰️ 🖤 ] @alastors-stim-broadcast dni banner by me

[sugoi-writes]

This is Not a Love Story, This is an Autopsy - Part 1

A/N- PHEW! I wanted to kick out of my hiatus with something I've been itching to do... An original series! I wasn't quiet happy with some of my longer works (and trust, they will probably be rewritten, too). So, this is the start of something new! Something that'll be fresh!

I've been heavily inspired/influenced by @minkdelovely and @hazelfoureyes, who keep encouraging me to just... do it. So I'm doing it!

BEFORE you get too invested, this story WILL be dark. It will be GOREY, graphic at times, there will be filthy, raunchy smut... But this is gonna be a LOT of hurt, with VERY LITTLE comfort. Alastor will NOT be a kind man. The title should be taken seriously, if you wish to continue. BUT FOR NOW... PHEW... sorry, here's part one!!!

Warnings/Promises: Mystery murder woman, Alastor is intrigued, a poor demon suddenly doesn't have a face, cursing, banter, Mystery woman wants to kill Alastor, and Alastor doesn't have GREAT intentions either... Just-- Alastor being ALASTOR! (Mystery woman is referred to in 3rd person, but this may change! Not sure yet)

Please enjoy! ❤️ Header image created by bat-boness on Tumblr! ❤️

Alastor's evening stroll simulated any other: pleasantries exchanged with himself, and his dainty, dated tunes filling the air. This served as a chipper contrast to his surroundings of hurried footsteps, startled shrieks, and the general cacophony on this side of The Pentagram. Oh, tonight was certainly a good night! ...But it was about to get so much better.

The sound of wet squelching, akin to a crushed watermelon, caught his attention. His deer-like ears twisted in it's direction, his smile expanding. What a curious sound! One he was aptly familiar with! It could only be one thing...

Gurgling, disjointed cries and the sputtering of fluids sounded like a grotesque melody. Alastor could hear steady, heavy breathing keeping the tempo. An act of passion... well, in the killing sense, surely. Ever the curious sort, Alastor sent his shadow to investigate. Its wide eyes take in the sight of the alleyway expectantly, eager to witness the fuss first.

A large figure loomed over a hapless victim, the arms flinching and trembling subconsciously as the attacker worked diligently. The sounds from before had morphed into a gut wrenching cutting noise: the unmistakable sound of a sharp knife carving through flesh... but where?

The shadow blinked, inching closer to the scene to get a better look. However, the attacker flinched, turning towards the apparation with a speed that would snap the neck of a human. It was spotted.

In the blink of an eye, a knife came off of a thigh garter belt, hurdling full force towards the Shadow. The knife struck between the entity’s eyes, a heated hiss thrown back to the stranger. Alastor's obedient pet slinked back to its master, unable to give a more helpful report. Alastor hummed in amusement, taking two wide strides to his right. Now, he was stationed at the mouth of the alley, his teeth gleaming under the dim streetlight.

"Do forgive me, dear, I am not known to eavesdrop," a lie, Alastor thought," But I couldn't help but overhear a scuffle~ What did that poor beau do to deserve such fury?"

Alastor wanted to be nearer, to see what you had done to the now-corpse of the demon... but alas, he couldn't just yet. Even with the back facing him, the Radio Demon got a better glimpse at the disheveled stranger.

A large, wide shoulder span dipped in and flowed back out in a delightful curve: a tasteful hourglass shape. Brunette and blonde hair cascaded just past the shoulders, spattered with blood… that was even more tasteful. Judging from the spray's pattern, this blood came from somewhere else… or someone else, in this case. The broad shoulders led to muscular, intense looking arms. The limbs were so red that it seemed they were dipped in a vat of coagulated blood. He could scarcely see the little nicks and scars that littered the taunt skin.

When Alastor continued to walk forward, a sharp turn of the head greeted him. Startling, grey eyes with bloodshot whites glared back at him. The figure didn't answer him, staring him down with a look that could frighten a dictator. Blonde and brunette fringe framed the face, a soft contrast to the rest of the body. Full, flushed cheeks from exertion, complimented by wide eyes and a set of thick, heavy lashes. And, dozens of shallow, silver-white scars littering the pale, plump face. Alastor's eyebrows rose with interest, the silence only motivating him to get closer.

The figure growled, snarling like a caged animal as it turned fully towards him... a woman, he assumed. This woman had blood sprayed across her entire upper body, indicating that this was indeed a passionate act of murder.

Alastor ceased his advances, both hands coming up in mock-surrender.

"Oh come now, dear, I mean no harm... 'just curious~ Won't you humor a demon for a spell? You might just hear your little story on my broadcast tonight~" he nearly sang, eyes squinting and watching carefully. He could tell that this beast of a woman was on high alert, and would likely try and jump him if he so much as thought the wrong word. Though he was confident in his abilities to defend himself, he was no bodybuilder: a fisty cuff that got too heated could mean his second death.

The woman’s gaze remained unphased as she came to her feet. Then, it morphed into a look of recognition.

While the mystery woman realized who was speaking to her, Alastor discovered what she had been carving off of the victim: his face. Alastor watched with an irrational sense of delight as the heavily scarred woman faced him properly. He couldn't help but shift his eyes to the scalped face of the victim, feeling his hands ball up into eager fists behind his back.

The cadaver’s face was grasped in the brunette’s calloused, large hands, blood sliding through her knuckles like a babbling creak in the woods. Had he been a sane man, he would have found the image unsightly. But between his fall from grace and his afterlife of trouble… he found the sight utterly delicious.

Alastor swallowed something in his throat... nerves? Excitement? A mutual interest between strangers? What an evening to find a like-minded individual…

"...You're the Radio Demon..." the murderer said simply. Her voice was a hard, uneven gravel, as if she hardly spoke at all. Alastor's smile widened, giddy at the budding interaction.

"Ahh, my reputation precedes me~ But you can call me Alastor, sweetheart. And what may I call you, hmm?" The tone of his sing-song charm did not match the cannibalistic mania of his too-wide smile. His voice was the cheese, nestled inside an obvious mousetrap.

Alastor stepped even closer, extending a hand out to the rabid-looking woman. Her steely eyes looked to his hand, before back to his face. Her expression remained unchanged.

"...I don't do handshakes," she replied bluntly, her gaze burrowing holes into Alastor's complexion. She seemed to watch him just as intently, acutely aware of his dark aura. Her words sought to disguise her own intrigue.

"Ahh, apologies, dear-- Deeeaaaar...?"

Alastor raised a brow while he drew out the last word, eye twitching with annoyance. He cocked his head slightly as he leaned in, trying to goad her into a response. He expected a name sometime tonight. A name... just a name. If he had her name, he could work with that. Just let him get under that barrier, even if it's just a crack--

"I don't have one," the woman spat back, either uninterested or able to see through Alastor’s antics (of which, the Radio Demon wasn't sure).

A record scratch leaked through his frequency at the abrupt response. The curtness throttled his already thinking patience... Alastor's wide smile stammered for a moment, a tense chuckle bleeding through his clenched jaw. His fuzzy and sound-dampened amusement was practically oozing irritation...

Likewise, the tension that hung between the pair was far too thick.

This needed to be carved through with a knife, Alastor thought. He could still do this.

"Nonsense dear! Why, EVERYONE has a name!!! Surely there is something that people use to call you? To refer to you???" Alastor was a bit surprised by his own persistence. Why did her lack of name manage to throttle him?

...right. He found her fascinating, that's all. And fascinating people in Hell were often easy to exploit... easy to force into a deal. And by extension, she would be useful and entertaining.

"...people usually don't get the chance to talk to me," the brunette replied. Her stoney, hardened face slowly shifted into a sly smile. She chortled wickedly, licking her cracked lips,"...but they usually beg for their lives right about now."

Her sudden lunge surprises Alastor momentarily, before his pitch tendrils snap into action. The mad woman is caught and suspended mid-launch, a heavy tentacle struggling to keep her knife-wielding arm in check. Alastor clicks his tongue mockingly at her aggression. Back to square one, it seemed. What a simple creature!

"Ohh dear, is that a way to talk to someone? If you plan to stab me, at least offer to take me on a stroll first. Perhaps to a coffee shop?" The deranged woman's mouth was tightly pulled into a horrifying snarl, teeth bared and glistening with spit. Had she contracted rabies? Or was she still riding the feral high of a fresh kill? Neither option seemed to startle or surprise Alastor all that much.

He paid her no mind as he walked around her in a slow, teasing circle: like a predator circling helpless prey. But the woman grunted and struggled just the same, hair falling into her face as she tried to break free. The noises she made had shivers of pride running up Alastor's spine. This interest almost seemed... more than that. More than morbid curiosity… He shook the thought away from his mind, his cheeks burning from how harshly he forced himself to smile.

Alastor stepped within striking distance, another tentacle wrapping around the knife-wielding hand as he looked at her troubled face.

"G-Go-- nnnhhhfucker-- Go fuck yourself, freak," the woman hissed, spitting towards the Radio Demon. He simply tilted his head, the spittle missing his pristine cheek. Annoying and gauche... he would have to break her of that garish habit.

"I'm afraid carnal desires haven't interested me for quite some time. Well... past the one you dabbled with moments ago. I must say I'm mighty interested in your handywork~"

Alastor's taloned hand squished the cheeks of the captured woman, turning her face this way and that. Alastor was smirking with an air of superiority as he took in every imperfection and scar that maimed her round face... To him, she was breathtaking, each scar revealing an incident or story he would be familiar with. He felt interested in dissecting her, and figuring out just what or who caused the nicks and cuts.

Thankfully, his brush with murder and other crimes made breaking down her injuries a breeze. Most of them could be summarized as self defense marks left by a weaker victim. This woman was STRONG... There was no question about that. And she wasn't afraid of getting dirty to get her desires fulfilled. He could find that quality to be quite charming... quite useful.

"If you truly do not have a name... might I suggest one?"

The question puzzles the brunette, eyes blinking in rapid succession. It took her a few moments to process the offer.

"You... want to name me?" She retorted, her squished face distorting her bewilderment," Like some goddamn PET?"

"I’m simply offering you one, dear. No need to make a fuss. Perhaps you could find it helpful, should you ever need to be referred to more... directly. With familiarity. You needn't take it, if it displeases you."

Alastor sighed dramatically as the woman thrashed in anger, shaking his head in tandem. It was quite easy to backtrack with this one, wasn’t it?

The woman stared back at the Radio Demon, intense grey embracing hellish red in a heated standoff. One could kill the other in a heartbeat, their acts only halted by straining tentacles. They were in a tense ceasefire, if only for their own sakes.

The woman sighed, relenting after what felt like an eternity," If it causes you to let go of me... you may give me a name, Radio Demon."

"Alastor," the male corrected, pinching her cheeks with harsher intent. The woman winced, but nodded curtly," A-Alastor..."

The venom that oozed from her harsh tone made molten heat fill Alastor’s chest. She could be obedient… how interesting.

The deer demon sneered, face reflecting his earlier delight as his eyes briefly flickered. The name rolled off her tongue so easily... Oh, he liked seeing her like this. Another charming quality he could get used to… and take use of.

"Carver."

The woman blinked, scoffing," Really?"

"Yes. Carver. You could always go by 'The Carver', if you wished, but I rather think the name suits you... a little on the nose, maybe, but simple. Just like you." Alastor's thumb rubs over the woman's cheek, a claw dangerously close to gouging her eye out. The demoness’ face softens, the touch causing conflicting feelings to flit across it.

Fright, anger, surprise, and… yearning. Had Alastor not been observant and experienced with reading people, he might have missed a few of these. Hell, the micro expressions lasted for seconds, if that… But thankfully, his eyes were as sharp as the blade hovering above his head.

Alastor’s hand pauses on her flushed cheek, stashing the useful information in the recesses of his dark mind.

"...fine... That name is fine, Alastor."

Carver fell to the dank and rancid ground with a heavy thud, Alastor clasping his hands together resolutely. Tentacles were dismissed as he eyed her eagerly.

“Splendid, dear! Carver it is! Now, about our earlier topic–”

Carver dusted off her knees as she stood, eyeing the deer-esque demon cautiously. She allowed him to continue, despite her better judgment to gut him then and there.

“What do you say to a bit of coffee, over lunch?”

Carver blinks for a moment, then another, arms folding in front of her chest,” You're joking, right?”

Alastor practically giggles, a dark tendril reforming to hold up the skinned face of her victim,” I'm more of an emcee than a comedian, dear… though I can never pass on a good punchline! Haha!”

When Alastor extends the face to the woman, he squints mischievously,” But no, I'm being quite genuine… Tomorrow, Cannibal Town. There's a quaint little shop by Rosie’s Emporium, the Brimstone Brew… I trust that you've heard of it?”

Curtly, Carver nods, taking her trophy from the Radio Demon indignantly,” Vaguely. I just started working a new job closeby, actually,” she admits. The moment she does, she mentally curses herself. Alastor’s eyes widen, a hand childishly coming to cover his lips. Or more accurately, like a elitist, royal woman with her hand fan, trying to stife her reaction to juicy gossip.

“Pray tell, what do you do~?”

Carver scoffs, casting her gaze anywhere other than the man’s demented smile,” …just some butcher shop. The manager apparently got… well, butchered. So there was a vacancy that the Assistant Manager filled. Soooo… I– I was pulled in to become the new assistant there.”

Alastor seemed on the verge of jumping out of his own skin, leaning forward intently.

“You? Working in one of my favorite stops? Oh, how convenient, dear! Then hows about I ‘meat’ you there! Haha!”

The joke did not go unnoticed, a gruff ‘really?’ following after. He would need to work on her enthusiasm, too.

“See, we could go for a little stroll, and you can tell me more about this new venture of yours! Why, if it's entertaining enough, I'm sure your story would captivate an audience! My audience!”

Carver didn't get the chance to protest as the dapper demon took a few steps back, tipping his imaginary hat her way.

“Let's shoot for 11 o’clock, ‘sharp as your knife! I look forward to getting to know you better… Carver.”

And within a second, the crimson and ebony demon vanished into the shadows. Carver was left confused and stupefied by the entire interaction. She didn't even get a chance to tell Alastor that she actually had work that morning… not that the Radio Demon would stand for it. But, maybe she could brush him off easier this way… She was sure her new manager would intervene or prevent the entire situation from escalating...

The woman dug around in her satchel, until she found a gallon freezer bag. She unceremoniously threw the bloody, skinned face of her victim into her pack, rolling her eyes. Maybe ‘Carver’ was an alright name after all…

What a fucking day… and what a fucking man, to have the nerve to be so… so…

Carver blinked a few times, words escaping her. He was an asshole, but also seemed to have manners… He was infamous, but didn't seem to match the dark reputation… He was bitchy, but also… surprisingly gentle with her?

Carver touched her cheek, where a taloned finger once lingered. A swift flush ghosted across her face as she kicked the corpse on the ground, huffing defiantly. The sooner she could shake this guy off her back, the better. She didn't do ‘friends’. She didn't even have acquaintances. And yet, all in one night, she was given a nickname and asked to go on a coffee date, seemingly just to… talk?

Never would she have imagined such an odd scenario before now. But, she did have an interesting opportunity. Take him out on a date before you stab him, she loosely recalled. And she was more than eager to take him up on that offer to get him off her back.

Carver chuckled, clicking her tongue as she started the trek to her apartment. Maybe she could call in sick tomorrow! Why not?

She could humor this man, if only to hear what his screams would sound like. She hoped that his terror sounded as desperate and sweet as the ones from his broadcast… An artist often immolated their work, and she had a feeling that his anguish would taste just as divine...

This is not a love story. This is an autopsy.

[jarlsthegreat]

My Hazbin Hotel Tumblr Head Cannons

Charlie:

-Got mistaken for a bot once and had her blog taken down for a whole week

-Tries to keep her timeline organized

-Mostly posts about the hotel

-Unironically posts inspirational quotes from 2013 on the daily

-TYPES IN ALL CAPS =D AND USES EMOTICONS [:0 IN EVERY SENTENCE!1!1!1! ;P

-Very detailed bio

-Gets around 20-30 likes on most of her posts and a few reblogs and comments, has never had a post go truly viral

Vaggie:

-Posts pictures of Charlie

-Constantly gushes about her girlfriend

-Has gotten into fights with people in Charlie's replies

-Is mutuals with Charlie and will block anyone else she knows in real life on sight

-Has gone Tumblr viral once on a particularly unhinged rant about people being mean to her girlfriend

-Has the basics in her bio (age, sexuality, pronouns, etc.)

Niffty:

-Is a massive shipper

-Has several OTPs and NOTPs

-Will get into fights in the reblogs of art of her NOTPs

-Is on several block lists

-Occasionally posts tradwife content despite being single

-Is infamous in every single fandom she is in even among the shippers of her OTPs

-UWU text in posts

-Bio contains nothing but a detailed description of her ideal badboy

-DNI list longer in length than the color of the sky post

Husk:

-Does not make his own posts but reblogs other people's

-No rhyme or reason to what he reblogs or likes

-Has never been reported as a bot despite looking exactly like one

-Has not customized his blog at all

Angel Dust:

-Has had multiple blogs

-His first blog was a very NSFW one that got flagged when the site started targeting adult content

-His second is a personal life blog where he answers questions from fans

-His third is the only one that didn't use his real name

-He uses that one the most

-It's a shitpost blog

-Occasionally posts really personally mental health stuff on the shitpost blog

-Has had both silly and serious posts go viral

-An early post of his where he very confidently posting a picture of a raccoon with the caption "what a wonderful duck" has reached color theory levels of Tumblr fame

-Mutuals with Alastor

-His blog's icon is a super zoomed in picture of the J on a Jif peanut butter jar and goes by Jiffy

Alastor:

-Joined the site back when it first launched

-Posts once in a blue moon but manages to get thousands of notes every time

-Has thousands of followers but only follows Angel's shitpost account

-Angel replied to one of his posts by calling him a "rotten spleen of a person" and he immediately followed

-Angel had been following him for months at that point

-Posts seemingly random stuff from low quality boomer memes to ten post long rants about how we should stop using lightbulbs

-Managed to get all three of the Vee's bullied off of Tumblr by vague posting

-Something of a Tumblr legend

-Several of his posts have reached Color Theory Status the lightbulb rant being one of them

-His blog name is Unsuspecting Deer

-His icon is a black void

-His header is this picture:

-Denies having a Tumblr account in real life

-Angel knows he's lying because he once complimented Alastor's shoelaces and like a sleeper agent, he replied that he had stolen them from the president

-Alastor's shoelaces weren't even rainbow, they were just legitimatly nice laces

-Bio is full of complete nonsense, it claims he has been to the moon and the bottom of the ocean and teaches polka dancing classes with an attached address that does not exist

-There is a small but dedicated community that ships his account with Angel's shitpost account

-He has joked about it on more than one occasion on his blog

-He and Angel talk in the replies all the time

-They once found each other on a completely different blog not even talking about them and just started chatting, it completely threw off the actual discussion being had and went sort of viral, even escaping Tumblr because of how weird everyone thought it was