#alex terrible cannot be from this earth

[graunblida]

so this is the theme song for lexa's demigod verse ( norse leaning obvi ) and i'm cackling because it works for all her others too

[actual-changeling]

And once more with feeling: Why there is no magic trick or gun to either of their heads in the final fifteen.

Before you immediately run to my comments or hit reblog, please read the entire thing. If you're still mad, either read it again or sit with it, do not make it my problem. Genuine questions and discussions are always welcome, comments that make it clear you did not understand a word I said aren't.

Okay? Okay.

With that, welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today we are going to compare their first and last argument in the bookshop—they are, fundamentally, the same. It both sets the scene for their relationship this season and works as immaculate foreshadowing of how they part.

I compared the scripts, which you can find here. It's incredible that OP put all that work into creating these because otherwise I would have gone insane doing it myself.

Now, the setting: they have a problem.

In ep1 it is Gabriel, in ep6 it is technically still Gabriel, or rather his now empty position in heaven. They solved one problem and now they're forced to deal with another one he also caused; meanwhile he's drinking space margaritas.

Crowley, stuck in his trauma-induced hypervigilance and paranoia, suggest putting as much distance between them and the problem as possible. I think it is interesting that in ep1 he wants to get Gabriel away from them, while at the end of the season he is ready to get them away from the problem.

So far, I have never seen anyone mention that change! And it's important! The entire season, it is hammered into our heads how much they love being on earth. It is THEIR bookshop and THEIR car and THEIR life.

Crowley wants to protect that home, and Gabriel is a threat to it, a threat to both of them, their life, the bookshop—everything. He does not want to leave, he wants his peace and angel in one place.

Yet by allowing Gabriel to stay, Aziraphale destroyed the sense of comfort and safety Crowley slowly developed over the last few decades. Heaven nipping down every now and then to check in with Aziraphale is very different from him sheltering the Supreme Archangel who is running from 'something terrible' without even asking if he's alright with that.

Aziraphale calls it their bookshop, but he fundamentally still sees it as his space to govern and Crowley as a guest.

After another horrible week and having his previously safe space violated several different times and beings, Crowley is back to where he was before—without a home. That fragile existence broke apart, so he is standing in the heap of shards and telling Aziraphale 'I don't feel safe here anymore, let's leave'.

He lost his safe space, but he still has his safe person, his best and only friend, the person he loves. I doubt he cares where exactly they go as long as they're together and it's safe.

Returning to heaven—it is the one place Crowley cannot follow him to. It's literally the worst option, he can't go back, he won't go back. So he invokes the bookshop again, if you don't want to stay for me, stay for the bookshop, your books, your corner of existence that I thought we had carved out for ourselves.

'Nothing lasts forever' and 'you're at liberty to go' have the same underlying meaning—you're not welcome in this house anymore, it was your safe place, not anymore. Both times, he's essentially kicking him out.

Aziraphale then switches it up again!

Same manipulation tactic, first making Crowley feel rejected and unwelcome, then trying to pull him back in by promising and showing affection. He's desperate, he's attempting to get Crowley into his "saviour" role because he knows he has a hard time not saving him from whatever trouble he gets him into. Aziraphale knows him so damn well, and he uses that knowledge to get what he wants.

'If you won't, you won't' has the same implication as 'then there's nothing more to say'—I am ending that conversation, you can leave now, he even makes the same face both times.

In ep1, that's that, Crowley takes his emotions and leaves.

The lightning bolt is the kiss. A sudden, heavy discharge of pent-up feelings that has been a long time coming, but in the end he is more desperate, less controlled, at his emotional rock bottom. Everything he thought to be true about their relationship came crashing down around him.

In his mind, Aziraphale chose heaven over him—TWICE! First Gabriel, now Gabriel's position.

'You're on your own with this one' applies to both scenes, I think the reasoning behind that is pretty clear.

Now, some more verbal components and word meanings that I think are worth mentioning.

One of them is Crowley directly pointing out heaven's cruelties when Aziraphale is seemingly unaware of them, thinking of Gabriel/heaven as in in need of his 'help'.

I can take help him -> I can make a difference.

It is, fundamentally, the same argument.

Aziraphale feels like he is the one who needs to play saviour (that Crowley actually hates it but Aziraphale loves it is a post for another time), the one being who can help Gabriel/heaven and fix all the problems.

Crowley correctly points out that they do not care about him and are just as cruel—if not more—as hell, that Gabriel tried to destroy him, that heaven will destroy all of them.

Their responses to that just shoot past each other and it is what Crowley himself tells us. Two different exactlys

Aziraphale's -> I am the only one who can fix this, I feel responsible for this, help me fix this.

Crowley's -> This is dangerous, it can get us killed, we cannot fix this. Come and be safe with me.

'He needs us' becomes 'I need you'.

'I would love you to help me' becomes 'we can be together'.

In episode 1, the argument isn't 'final', as such. Crowley is exhausted, sad, feels rejected, but when he finds out just how much trouble Aziraphale is in, he needs to go back and help him. It's instinct, he couldn't live with himself if he knowingly let him walk into the knife—and yet in episode 6 that is exactly what Aziraphale forces him to do.

It is why Crowley brings up the nightingales, why he kisses him: that primal, love-based desperation. This argument is final, he won't be able to follow him to heaven no matter what, he won't be able to protect him.

He is on his own with this one.

In conclusion, THIS is why the argument that happened in the final fifteen is real, there's no trick, no nothing.

They have had the same argument before, probably over and over again. Same structure but with lower stakes, and eventually they reconciled.

This time the stakes are as high as they possibly can be, which lures their most primal, honest arguments out of them.

Aziraphale wants to fix heaven, wants to help, still believes that they are fundamentally good, that he can make a difference.

Crowley has lived the truth, has been trying to tell him for centuries, and he is exhausted. He wants safety. He wants peace. He wants the two of them in a peaceful, not-fragile corner of existence that no one else gets to break ever again.

Not a single line was 'out of character', this is exactly who they are, with all their layers stripped away and their fears exposed. It's not pretty to watch, it hurts, it makes you ache, and yet they and we know that this is how it has the end—the only way it was ever going to end.

That is what makes it tragic.

However, even after all of that, there is one step left: reconciliation.

Season 3 is going to give it to us, in whatever shape or form. Neil knows what he is doing, and we can trust him to give them the ending they deserve.

[performativezippers]

here's some random writing advice that i've found helpful, in no order, that i reserve the right to add to at any time:

no one says everything they're thinking. in dialogue, less is more. people don't speak in paragraphs, they speak in sentences, especially when they're not telling a story. let the dialogue be brief, and use interiority (thoughts) to show the reader all the things they aren't saying.

use physical cues to help the POV character understand what the non-POV character is thinking/feeling/not saying/lying about. For example, if we're in Jane's POV while Maura is talking, and Maura says "I'm fine," Jane can notice that her eyes are darting around like she's anxious, or she's crossed and uncrossed her arms, almost like she's nervous. there's no need to say MAURA SEEMS NERVOUS, let the reader get it from what Jane's picking up.

let the reader be curious—don't info dump—but don't frustrate them by giving so little that they don't know what's going on. this is a very very fine line sometimes, and betas can be really helpful for pointing it out until you've gotten the feel for it.

Use paragraph breaks, for the love of god.

Only italicize things that really and truly cannot be explained any other way. "What are you doing here?" for example doesn't need any italics. If you can't get the reader to understand what you mean without the italics, then, sure, use them. but SPARINGLY. use body language, interiority, other words, and dialogue tags (shouts, yells, whispers, cries, she says as her voice cracks) to get the reader what they need.

"What are you doing here?" could be "what on earth are you doing here?" (aka, i have no fucking idea why you're here, my dude)

"What are you doing here?" could be "i told you to stay out of this, lucy! what are you doing here?" (aka, lucy you specifically should not be here)

"What are you doing here?" could be "jesus, you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were at the front! what are you doing here?" (aka, i'm not surprised to see you, but i'm surprised to see you HERE what the fuck)

Don't head hop. Know who's POV you're in and STAY IN IT until the chapter break, scene change that's clearly indicated by ***, whatever. if this is challenge, try writing in first person to get in the habit of only knowing what your POV character knows. There is, of course, 3rd person omniscient narration, but it's really fucking hard to pull off and honestly I recommend staying away from it entirely. Most things you'll read are written in first or close 3rd, and that's not an accident.

Let your characters move around in space. let them notice the things around them.

If Kate walks into a room, i'll probably list what she sees in order of importance, unless it's a big reveal. i'll add voice to that so you'll know i did it on purpose.

in order of appearance: "the body lies in the middle of the big, wide room. the ceiling must be twenty feet up, and there are plenty of windows, the way the light catches the falling dust mites looks more like a church than a crime scene."

with reveal/voice: "Kate bursts into the room and immediately skids to a stop. it's too bright, all white walls and high windows. it looks like the kind of room you'd put a WeWork in, or maybe a super expensive soulcycle. normally Kate would be itching for a paint roller and some blueprints, but today she ignores the terrible architectural choices, choosing to focus instead on the dead body congealing in a puddle of dark brown blood in the middle of the floor."

try to have an internal plot/obstacle (alex can't be honest with maggie about their relationship because she hasn't told her that her sister is superhero) and external plot/obstacle (there is a serial killer targeting aliens in national city, and all three women are on his radar). Best practice is for them to intersect and create layered, complex problems (maggie can't understand why alex is so fucking freaked out about this serial killer in the first act; yes, crime is bad, but like, it's their job? why won't alex TALK to her? where does she keep running off to in secret? does alex even actually want to be with her??)

Everything should have: tension, stakes, obstacles. Try not to make all of that hinge on a misunderstanding or one person being too chicken to confess their feelings. that gets boring and frustrating for the reader.

If you need to make a calendar, make one. If you need a cast list, write one. keep yourself on track.

introduce new original characters slowly. give them one name (first and last is usually not necessary at the start). give us one or two things to remember about them. Jenna is the producer of the tv show. Jenna is mean. the next time she comes back, call her "jenna the producer." then the next time you can hint to her role, like "jenna has her big clipboard and is shouting at everyone to get the fucking cameras ready." if jenna doesn't come back again, don't name her. be kind to your readers who forget things, and help them out by limiting the named cast to people who need to be named. if they don't show up until halfway through, don't introduce them until halfway through. for fanfic, obviously this is easier because we know everyone, but still, please. only have the people in the scene who need to be there. huge scenes with 5-8+ characters present are a MESS.

if your character has two best friends who fill the same role, cut one. streamline so i as the reader have less to keep track of.

banter can be fun to write, but dialogue without movement, choreography, internal thoughts, lies, physical cues, and plot movement gets really boring to read. if a scene is skippable, ask yourself what would make it essential, and add that.

every conversation should do at least two things. things can be:

move the plot forward

deepen, change, or complexify an existing relationship

create tension (plot, romance, etc)

explore stakes

attempt to get over the obstacle

FOR EXAMPLE: Helena and Myka almost kissing when they shouldn't because Helena is with Some Dude? yes! that's romantic tension and attempting to get over the obstacle (some dude). Myka rambling to claudia about almost kissing helena for 3 pages: no! That does nothing on this list. the event already happened, and a long debrief about it isn't interesting to the reader. Let Myka ruminate while she's doing one of the other things. and by ruminate, i mean KEEP A LIGHT TOUCH HERE, ruminating is very very easy to make boring and maudlin. trust your reader; be subtle about it.

[roseworth]

you're the kyle authority on my dash so i figured i'd ask if u have a reading list or if there's a particular list you'd recommend 👀 or just what your fav/most recommended issues/arcs are for him in general

sobbing and crying i cannot be called a kyle authority because i have basically only read him in green lantern 1990 and countdown. and i read countdown before gl90 so i dont even remember how good his characterization was in that fhasdkjfhsajdf

BUT. that will never stop me from being annoying about him. gl90 is all i need i refuse to read anything else. heres a reading guide that has a lot of good stuff on it but uhh i havent read everything on that #lol

but some of my fav arcs/issues!!!! or just arcs that def should be read for him fhdskjdfs

green lantern 1990:

#50-55 (origin story <3 rip alex)

#58 & 59 (donnakyle brainworms)

#71-73 (he gets to have a fun silly time with other heroes yippee!!)

#76-77, & green arrow #110-111 (connorkyle brainworms)

#83-85 (FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE. YRRA!!!!!!!)

#94 (i just like his interactions with kon fhakdfjha its so sweet)

#96, green arrow #130, flash #135 (three of a kind arc my beloved)

#98-99 (this one is honestly just okay but also there are a couple moments in it that im obsessed with so it deserves to be recommended)

#113-114 (i really like a lot of the introspection with effigy so this arc can be rly nice as a treat)

#121-124 (trapped in a dream trope my beloved <3 also some good stuff at the end to finish marz's run)

#128 (roykyle brainworms)

#129-136 (starts off judd winick's run,,, irc theres some iffy stuff in these issues bc winick's a freak but theyre pretty good)

#143-150 (oh my fucking god. ION. greatest arc ever. do not read this first because you need the full context of his character to appreciate it. but once you read it itll change you forever)

#153 (this one is just adorable i love fhdakhfbdfa calm before the storm)

#154-155 (the storm. hate crime arc, very sad so tw for uhhh homophobic hate crimes. but its a good arc)

can i be honest i dont remember any of the rest of the issues really grabbing my attention. there are good moments (#157 my beloved) but no issues stand out hfksadjhfa

also i was so upset by the ending of this run the first time i read it. i have no problem with sad endings to stories but this one made me so upset and i still havent gotten over it. it ends with him losing all the friends he had on earth and going "well im off to space forever now" and i dont know why i reacted so terribly to it but i remember pouting about it for like 2 days

anyways outside of gl1990 i think green lantern: circle of fire is 1000000% worth reading (honestly i only read the first issue, the only with alex & kyle, and the last issue and i got all the important stuff). also completely unbiased and totally no ulterior motivation of new titans #126 (where he just happens to have a rly sweet interaction with rose.....)

i hope this helps u at all <3 i honestly recommend reading all of green lantern 1990 (or well. starting at #48) because its mostly really fun and has a lot of good moments <3333 and if anyone has more kyle recommendations please feel more than welcome to drop them

[supercorpkid]

'Tis the damn season

Supergirl, Alex Danvers x Reader, Kara Danvers.

Word count: 3100.

Notes: I love me some Taylor Swift so, here, have another song fic inspired by her song. I was missing some Alex content as well, so I hope you all enjoy this one-shot.

There are two types of people in your town. Those who think Midvale is the best place on Earth, and those who can’t wait to leave. And then there’s you. You never really wanted to leave, but you know there are better places out there.

But Midvale during the Christmas season it’s particularly hard. Everyone comes back into town to visit their relatives. That means you have to see most of your high school friends, foes, and well, her.

Every year you hope you won’t meet your ex in one of the festivities. Every year without fail you see her. And she looks more beautiful as the years go on.

You wish you could forget about Alex. You wish there was no string attached. Nothing that would make your hometown so connected to someone who left a long time ago. 

And she did the right thing, by the way. Leaving the small nothing-ever-happens-here town, going out to college to try to become a doctor. You would’ve only held her back. You’re glad she didn’t stay. But you’re sorry that not staying meant breaking up.

As you leave work and make your way back home, scenic view or not, your heart beats a little faster. There’s no amount of snow and ocean view that could distract you from the fact that you have to pass her house to go to yours and at this time of the year, you always ask yourself if there will be a car in the driveway. You ponder if it will be hers or Kara’s. And you wonder whether both Danvers are here to make your life a little harder in this damn season.

Your windshield glass is completely fogged up by the cold, yet you narrow your eyes and drive a little bit slower when passing the Danvers’ house. Your heart stops in your chest at the idea of her being there, in this familiar place, in this other reality your life could’ve been. And-

There’s a car parked on the driveway. A blonde hair comes out of the car and when you see the driver’s door opening and a leg sticking out, you drive faster.

You’re scared to death to see her. It’s insane and you can’t really describe the paradox you feel in your heart. 

All of you just can’t wait to see her. You want to know how much she has changed in this past year, you need to see her smile and how her auburn hair sort of fits her perfectly even though this is not how you usually remember her. 

But what if you do? What if you see her? Then, what? Then you can swear to yourself that you have no more feelings for her, that what happened between the two of you stayed in the past and that's where it should be. But the truth is that a heart cannot be lied to.

It’s the same every time. You think you’re over her, but when you see her back in Midvale you realize you were wrong all along. The fact that you don’t think about her in your everyday life is not good proof that you’re over her, it’s only proof that you do a terrible job of getting what you really want in life.

“Here.” The bartender slides in hot cocoa for you, while you try to hide away from the cold and the snow outside.

Two days into the city since you’ve seen a car on the Danvers’ driveway, and you have done a great job at avoiding Alex, but you know it’s only temporary. A place this small cannot let you run forever. 

“Ok, I’ll meet you back at the store.” You hear a familiar voice and you turn around fast, splashing all of your hot cocoa into Kara’s coat. 

“Shit. Fuck.”

“Oh golly.” Kara says, cleaning herself, then finally looking up. “Oh! Y/N!”

“Hey, Kara. Sorry about-” You point at her coat and reach for some napkins. “Here. Let me-”

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it.” She cleans it off easily. “It’s waterproof because of the snow. So, um,” She stares at you with a smile, “hi!” and a hug comes right after.

“Hi.” You smile in her embrace. There’s nothing you don’t like about Kara. You’ve always loved her, even when she was younger, and kept putting you and Alex into troubling situations. “You look all grown.”

“Oh yes, I think I finally got there.” Kara jokes. “Come, let me buy you a new hot beverage, and we can catch up.”

You don’t ask about Alex, though you’re dying to. You just encourage Kara with your eyes, wondering if she’ll ever stop talking about her career at CatCo and her new Daxam boyfriend. 

“And Alex,” She starts, you raise your eyes though you try to show no interest in what she’s about to say. “She's here too.”

“Right.” You swallow deep and smile, trying to hold off a thousand questions shooting through your head right now. “How’s-how is she?”

“Well,” Kara makes the biggest pause you’ve ever experienced in a conversation, while your ears ring in anticipation. “she went through a break-up a few months ago. She was in really bad shape, but I think she is back on her feet now.”

“Oh.” Your stomach drops. Alex was dating someone. Some other person who she was completely in love with, someone who left her feeling really bad when it ended. And it’s… some news. “I’m glad she is feeling better. So, um, you know what, I-I have to go, Kar. But it was so good to see you and I hope we’ll meet up again before you leave.”

“Me too, Y/N!” You run out of there before she can get any other word out. 

What were you expecting? You thought that a beautiful smart woman would stay single forever in a big town like National City just because you are clearly unable to move on? Yeah, right.

Three days before Christmas and you finally get tired of sleeping half the day as you used to when you were a teenager, and you decide to do some last-minute shopping.

You park your truck next to the school you used to go to, and your heart shrinks a little thinking about all that you lived there. But you don’t let yourself dwell on those feelings because you know right where it leads you. So you hop off your truck, making your way to the only bookshop in this godforsaken town. 

You spot Alex's car on the other side of the street, and wonder if you should run back to your car and hide before you meet her, but then-

“Hey stranger.” You hear behind your back that breathy voice you could never forget. 

“Alex!” And your voice comes out two octaves higher like you’re so shocked that she is here when in reality you were dying to meet her sooner than later.

“Surprised to see me in Midvale during the holidays?” She jokes at your reaction and you manage a small chuckle in response no matter how nervous you feel around her.

She looks incredible. The most beautiful person in this whole damn town. The new pixie cut is so amazing and so unbelievably her, you don’t know how she had any other haircut before. 

You lick your lips before being able to speak again. “The hair, wow. You-you look, um-” She looks at you, a little eyebrow raised and a smile on her face. Soft. She has such a soft expression, that is so hard to get from her, that your heart just melts in your chest. “Astonishing.”

“Oh wow, big wording me, Y/N.” Alex jokes, face glowing in contrast with the white from the snow all around the both of you. 

It’s only when you think about the snow, that you realize how cold it is outside. Alex can’t read your mind, not after all this time anyway, but she still points to the coffee shop before you even have the chance to. “Do you wanna-?”

“Yes.” You cut her off before she even suggests the whole thing. It’s completely straightforward like you’re throwing yourself back into her arms after all this time, so you feel the need to explain yourself. “So fucking cold.”

Alex’s mouth curves into a smile, and you wonder if she believed you. You missed her smile. You missed her voice. God, you missed Alex Danvers in such an unhealthy way.

The conversation is easy, even though you know both of you are stirring clear from touchy subjects and only telling each other the highlights. Then she tells you something stupid Kara did the other day that put her into a messy situation, and the feeling between the two of you is so familiar, you can’t help but laugh and reach for her hand. 

“Oh.” You only realize you did that when you feel the contrast between her warm hands and your cold ones. You’re about to take your hand away and apologize, when she pulls it closer, enveloping your cold hand with both of hers.

“Why am I not surprised you’re freezing to death even inside?” Alex slowly lowers her head to kiss your hand, and you swallow deeply trying to keep your feelings from resurfacing. And obviously failing on doing so.

“Kara told me you-you were dating?” You frame it as a question, but Alex knows it isn’t. She lets go of your hand while shaking her hand in agreement. “Sorry it didn’t work out, but um, maybe I can help you a little?”

“Help me?” Her face is a little too sour after what you just said, but you push through anyway.

“I won’t ask you to stay if you don’t ask me to wait.” 

“Y/N,” The way she says your name will always be your favorite sound in the world, even when it’s filled with confusion and tension. “what are you talking about?”

She knows exactly what you’re talking about, and you know that. But she fakes it, so you have to over-explain yourself.

“We’ll go our separate ways at the end of the holiday season as we’ve always done. But, hear me out, just once more I wanna be yours.”

“This sounds like it could be painful.” She tries to reason, but there’s no reason with you. Not when your mind is already made-up. Of course, it will be painful, but it’s painful every year without fail. 

It’s painful when she doesn’t come for the holidays, and it’s painful when she does. When you don’t see her car around town, or when it’s parked at the same place yours are. It’s excruciating when she doesn’t say your name and doesn’t smile at you, but it also almost kills you when her eyes light up at the sight of you and her soft smile appears and that’s all that happens. There’s no outcome that isn’t distressing, so why not take advantage of the time before that?

“And I don’t wanna hurt you.” Alex promises, crestfallen. 

So you think about the first time she hurt you, saying she was going to get the hell out of Midvale, leaving you and Kara behind. You remember how gloomy you looked that day and how awful it was to get out of bed the following days.

Then you remember how you leaned into Kara’s misadventures. How the two of you couldn’t wait to get out there and get into trouble. And how the two of you went so far once, that if it wasn’t for Alex being back for the holidays, none of you would be here to tell the story. And the worst part is, Alex wasn’t trying to hurt you by leaving, but you were definitely trying to hurt her by taking things too far. Now that was selfish.

“We can call it even.” It’s your promise.

She pulls your hand for another kiss, eyes filled with nothing but care and affection. Then she tilts her head and doesn’t have to say another word for you to know exactly what she means.

Her car stays parked exactly where it was, as she jumps into your old truck as she’s done many years ago. And the destination is the same from those same years. It makes you feel like a stupid teenager again, as you and your high school girlfriend make your way into the forest near her house and up a tree with some old squeaky wood planks.

Alex smiles after kissing you for the hundredth time, looking out to the ocean in the distance. “Weird how this is making me feel like I’ve never left.”

“Yeah.” Your cheeks are flushed from the cold and the thought of the past, and it gets worse when you look down to see Kara there. “Shit.”

“Oh, not again.” Kara flies a little off ground, meeting your eyes while you try to hide your face on Alex's shoulders from the embarrassment of being caught. “What is this? A relapse?”

There’s no answer, only Alex’s hand making a snowball and throwing it at Kara's face etched with shock. The next one ends up on your face, and you can’t believe the time has passed at all. You’re now a 26-year-old woman, but here you are in your secret hidden spot, doing a snowball fight with both Danvers. That only ends because you fall from the tree and Kara has to save you before you knock your head on the ground.

It feels like home. Eliza’s house hasn’t changed a bit in these almost 10 years you haven’t stepped foot in. Eliza, herself, hasn’t changed much as well. Her smile and hug when she sees you in her living room again is the same one from back in the day. Her chocolate pecan pie also tastes amazingly the same.

There’s a present under their tree with your name on it, that you pretend you can’t see so you don’t ruin Alex’s surprise for Christmas morning, while you sneak into her childhood bedroom on Christmas eve. 

“This place hasn’t changed at all.” You say, though you are not surprised about it. "Where 's Kara?”

“Flew to National City to see her boyfriend.” 

“Interesting.” You narrow your eyes at her, while she sits on her bed, calling you with her finger. “Is that why you’re trying to lure me into your bed?”

“I just want to show you how this place is exactly the same.” You bite your mouth and make your way to where she is. 

When you wake up the next day, knowing it’s Christmas morning and that your parents probably hate you for not being home, you turn to the side not seeing Alex next to you.

You look back to the window side, hand slowly tracing the way down to a place in her nightstand where you both carved your initials without Eliza knowing. Your heart pounds in your chest thinking that the road not taken looks really good now, and you hate yourself for promising you wouldn’t ask her to stay. 

You can’t help but think how nice this feels, how right it feels. Like Alex is your girlfriend still, and Kara is your super powerful friend. Like Midvale doesn’t suck as much as it has been sucking ever since she left. It’s hard to think that this could have been your life all along.

You know you’re breaking your own heart to have to leave the warmest bed you’ve ever known. Yet, you do it anyway because there’s no hiding out here forever, no matter how much you want to.

Kara flies in through the window and, lucky for you, you are completely dressed already. “You slept here.” She points out, eyebrows furrowed.

“You didn’t sleep here.” You point out and she agrees with her head. 

“I won’t tell Eliza about you if you don’t tell her about me as well.” She shows you her hand and you shake it, after agreeing with your head.

“You do know we’re adults already, right?” You joke, getting a playful punch on the arm. 

“Got confused with you back here. Felt ten years younger.”

“Touché.” 

You and Alex go meet up with old friends together. Then go drinking in the only nice place in town. Have dinners under the moonlight, drive around town, and make a gingerbread house together in the next few days.

It’s like having a girlfriend, but one that won’t stay. It’s like finding love, but knowing it will disappear soon. It’s like living the life you’ve always wanted to, but seeing it being taken away alongside the love of your life. It’s knowing all that and still wishing for the opposite.

You promised you wouldn’t make a scene this time around. So you settle for whispering ‘please stay’ in the middle of the night while you watch her sleep. You settle for being happy on the holidays and miserable during the rest of the year. You settle for saying ‘I love you’ with your eyes instead of your mouth.

“I know it’s hard,” you are in the middle of hugging Kara, while Alex finishes up putting their bags in the back of the car for the trip back. “But try to keep yourself out of trouble.”

“Same goes for you.” Kara laughs and you agree with your head. “Bye Y/N.” 

You raise your hand and wave goodbye while she goes to the car to give you and Alex some privacy. 

“I won’t ask you to stay.” You promise. 

She nods once. “And I won’t ask you to wait.” She promises back. 

Alex hugs you tenderly and gives you a kiss on the lips followed by one on the cheek and another one on the forehead. She slides some small piece of paper into your hand and makes her way to her car. 

“Bye Y/N.” In the most heartbreaking tone she has ever said your name.

“Bye Alex.” You swallow deep, holding back the tears, the ‘please please stay’ pounding in your head, and the heartbreak you knew it would come all along.

You wave her goodbye as well, and soon her car makes its way out of the driveway and into the highway, disappearing in a distance shortly after. 

And against all odds, you let her go.

You clean the tears pooling under your eyes and look down, at the slip of paper in your hands, and unfold it to see what it is.

In case you’re ever in National City,

This is my address.

But if you ever come, I will ask you to stay.

Love, Alex. 

[ameliawarnerr]

Evanescent

(She was the evanescent of his life— there and gone.)

Part 10

(Part 9: here)

MC’s POV

I close my eyes and let myself relax in the hot water. Though my mind is anything right now but relaxed. Since Jake walked out of that door, I'm incapable of forming coherent thoughts. It's like my mind is shut down and all I can hear is my heart bearing in a distance.

It’s so uncomfortably quiet. I have no idea what Dan might be thinking of this entire situation. I did not get a chance to talk to him. Alex is somehow calm but that's unhelpful. Alex is a token of reality and Jake is like an illusionary world full of love and happiness with a greater magnetic force than that of earth. Still, I find myself getting compelled to choose the reality.

The uncertainty of my decision sends me to the very edge. Taking decisions— it has never been my favourable position. The fear of regret never lets me decide. Because of that, I have let people decide for me. If anything regretful happens I’d simply put the blame on them. But right now, there is no one taking decision for me. If I choose the wrong path— I will be the one to regret. The previous face off with regret almost put me in denial.

After I read Rose’s message about my mother's death, I cried myself to sleep. The next morning I woke up— I was in denial. I forgot it ever happened and missed the funeral. The next day, I came across Rose’s text again and I broke again as if it was the first time realising my mother is dead.

The warmth of the water calms me down a bit. I severely lack the motivation to get out of the bathroom. If anything, I’ll sleep right in this water. Because I am so undeniably tired.

Everyone might be expecting me to make a life changing decision right now but here I am drowning in my incompetence.

Now when I am trying to make it right, I'm breaking someone else.

Sometimes, I wonder if Jake and I share that kind of love that would make it hard to live without eachother. But when I look into those emarald eyes of his, all these doubts evaporates.

I somehow manage to dry myself and put on a knee-length robe. The room doesn't match the brightness of the bathroom. The curtains are drawn and lights are off. Maybe I left it that way or maybe I didn't.

Without knocking into something, I make it safely to the side table to have my phone. As I switch it on, light blinds me. With the little light, I manage to notice a figure lying on the bed.

My heart makes its presence known by beating faster and louder. No movement or no noise comes from Jake. Maybe he is already asleep. I stand there staring at him. Overwhelming tears build up in eyes and I cannot see clearly anymore. Well, neither can my consciousness when I dare lie beside him.

I lie motionless as an inanimate object. Five minutes of going through the pros and cons, I turn around towards him. My hand hovers over his body as another debate starts between my heart and mind. My eyes opened widely as I try to look at his face. Even his asleep face looks tired. He really need this sleep.

I slowly take my hand back. I don't want to disturb him with my sudden urge to have him in my arms. I’m about close my eyes when Jake’s hand wraps around my waist. As I try to process that, Jake pulls me towards him still in sleep. His face dangerously close to mine. If he- or I, move a bit, his lips would be on my cheek.

My side of bed is left vacant. At this point, I let myself fall prey to my urges. I wrap my hand around his waist. Even in sleep, he gets the messages and pulls me even closer. His leg pushed slighting between mine. I shuffle a little, my head now against his chest and I try hard to be still and let him sleep.

I fail terribly. Everything we did ever since saw eachother comes to me in flashes. And I can't help but to sniff a little. I curse slightly, trying to pull myself away before I start waking him up. But I guess I already did that.

As I try to get out of his grip, he only tightens his hold. His hand from my waist travels up to my head and I am sure he is awake now.

Guilt starts taking over me. “I’m sorry to wake—”

“Stay.” He whispers.

I forget how to breath. Maybe if I had forgotten how to perform fundamental functions of life before, like breathing, the people around mine would have to go through this much.

“Jake, that's—”

He suddenly pulls back and I can see his face. His eyes are insane. They make me go insane. His gaze pulls every ounce of sleepiness out of me.

“Selfish? Reckless? Not the right thing to do? I don't care. The only person I care about is you and if you are getting away from me then I don't mind doing reckless things.” His chest rises and falls.

“You are putting me in a difficult spot here.” Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

“Then what am I supposed to do? Let you go? You think, this isn't a difficult position itself?”

My breath hitches. The closeness of his body doesn't help either but I'm incapable of pulling away. “I don’t know what to do, Jake. I’m scared. I have no idea if I should keep avoiding it or face it. I want to run away. Again. But I don't think that's a healthy way to deal with problems. I’ve tried running away, I’ve tried avoiding it and, and,” Pushing words out of my pith is becoming a difficult task. “I can't do this anymore. I mean, how long,” I don't finish it. “I though someone would understand. I though you would—”

He pulls me into a hug again and hides his face in the crook of my neck, his hand still on my hair– caressing it. “I understand. I'm sorry. Just know that I will never despise you for what you are doing. We never made any promises anyway, did we?” His tone lighten. “I'm glad we didn't.”

I am not sure how to take it so I let it be. I solely focus on his embrace around me. In his arms, the time stops. I feel like I have eternity to deal with my problems and right now I can just be here, with him. The world and everything in it feels far far away. Euphoric— that's how I feel.

I catch a little, “You’ll be okay.” And drift further into my safe space.

.

When my eyes open again, my Euphoria

My Euphoria

It's gone.

In his place lies a letter.

It is just a piece of paper, it's not a letter, I tell myself. Without caring about my appearance right now, I leave the bed. I search the bathroom— no one, empty. With a rush of anxiousness, I hurriedly search the whole first floor.

Breakfast.

He might be having breakfast. I descend the stairs in a clumsy way, skipping one or two. The table is empty.

My heart flashes the worst case scenarios. “Dan!” I shout.

Dan appears from his room. “What's wrong?” His voice is low and his hair messed up. He was still sleeping. My head snap towards the clock— it's still early.

“Jake. Where's he?”

“Huh? I just woke up.”

No, no, no—

I run, run like a hydra headed monster is chasing me. My steps get slower as I reach my our temporary room. They get even slower as I approach the bed and the piece of paper the letter on it.

I take it in my hand and turn it over.

To Amelia

Forgot how to breath. Forgot to stand— I'm on the floor.

I open it.

Dear dangerously beautiful Amelia,

Firstly, I am sorry.

Secondly, I love you.

So much that I am sure I would not be able to bear the sight of you leaving.

Do you remember when you held a grudge (for five minutes) because I used to read your texts? Well, you can hold a grudge forever against me for leaving earlier.

Maybe it was mistake. Maybe Us was a mistake. But it was the most alluring mistake I ever commited. And far from being something I regret. I will never ever regret anything we did. I hope you feel the same.

Thirdly, thank you.

For finding Hannah with me.

For trusting me.

For making me experience things I never thought I would.

For loving me.

For making me such an important person in your life that leaving became a difficult decision to make.

For making me a reason to stay.

For being my reason to stay.

But sometimes some relations overpower others.

Sometimes, people are so exquisite that they are only worthy of being in unforgettable memories.

Don't forget me, okay?

;)

— Jake

She was the evanescent of his life— there and gone.

He was the evanescent of her life— there and gone.

—The End—

---------------------

FIRSTLY, I AM SORRY!

Secondly, the Epilogue will be there! (YOU CAN ALSO TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO SEE ANYTHING PARTICULAR IN THE EPILOGUE)

Thirdly, ...........I'm sad......how about a sequel?

The insecurity level before posting this chapter gotta be the HIGHEST I have ever reached!

So lemme know if I messed up...

Anyway!!!

Is this the end???? Damn!

I made it!

Because of you!!

Lemme know you fav part of the whole fic!

Thank youu

Love y’all

[signoraviolettavalery]

What do you mean it's Thursday?? When did that happen?? Pretty sure it's still Wednesday, sooooo 🙏🙏🙏???

well I certainly hope I know what day it is given that I have a flight tomorrow, LOL

anyway remember that "Antar and Earth are at war and Michael is sent to capture Alex to use him as leverage but they fall for each other on the trip back" fic (it is currently like 90% angst, woops, it's very "I wish that I could let you love me" vibes)

So a week or so into the trip, Alex and Michael have a conversation about why Michael's treating Alex so well and spending time with him rather than locking him up for the duration of the trip....

Alex snorts. “Yes, not being cruel to me while you’re taking me to be tortured makes all the sense in the world.”

Michael looks like Alex just stabbed him in the stomach. Painfully. An expression of mingled shock and horror crosses his face.

“Torture? What are you talking about?”

“You don’t have to put on an act,” Alex says calmly. “You wanted me alive. There’s very few reasons why that would be. Though why you want to interrogate me specifically is the part I don’t understand. Any intelligence I have is certainly out of date.”

Michael runs a hand over his face. “Oh my god. Is that what you really think of us?” He actually looks offended, like he didn’t kidnap Alex and put him on a ship to an alien planet.

“It’s what we would do. My father certainly would, and the men under his command would carry out his orders.”

“Well, we don’t do that! I’m not taking you to be tortured, holy shit, even if I was ordered to I would refuse,” Michael says vehemently.

“Then what do you want from me?” Alex asks. There aren’t a lot of other options.

“You’re the son of Jesse Manes. He’s the one leading this war, prolonging it. We don’t want to fight you. We want a ceasefire, negotiations, a treaty. You’re leverage to get him to do that.”

Alex laughs. He actually laughs. What else is there to do in response to something so patently absurd?

“Your intelligence really is terrible,” he says. “Believe me when I say that my father would rather watch you kill me, slowly and painfully, than talk to you.”

“He hates us that much?” Michael asks.

“He hates me that much. I’m guessing you chose me because I was the youngest, no longer in the military, recently injured, so you thought I’d be an easier target?” He snorts. “If you’d taken one of my brothers, he would have actually mourned, but insisted that we cannot give in. But with me? Trust me, he’ll be relieved.”

Michael shakes his head. “You’re very good at bluffing,” he says. “But I’m not falling for it. No father could hate their child that much.”

Alex shrugs, suddenly very tired of this conversation. He has no desire to open up about the ugly details of his childhood, especially not in front of this alien who seems to have an utterly warped idea of how the world works. “Believe what you wish,” he says. “It’s been a long day. I’m heading to bed.”

[astralbooks]

A Tale of Seashells and Shenanigans - Alex Nonymous

Read: November 14th 2023 - November 16th 2023

Rating: 5/5

Rep: disabled (chronic pain, cane user) ace non-binary main character, autistic aroace love interest, queer side characters, disabled (amputee) achillean side character

CW (listed in back of book): ableism, negative self talk about queerness, negative self talk about disability, non-malicious mispronouning, very brief mention of suicidal ideation, discussed transphobia, lashing out, autistic meltdown, gender dysphoria, discussed unsafe binding, swearing

Review:

Something Alex is incredibly skilled at, and this is something I’ve noticed across many of his books, is that she takes two characters whose initial opinions of each other are so terrible (and often for very good reasons) that I’m left wondering how on earth they could possibly get to a point where they can tolerate each other, let alone love each other, and then they show me the progression of the characters’ relationship, and does it so well that I’m left just completely convinced of it. Enemies-to-lovers (and variations thereupon) are so, SO hard to get right, and it’s so easy for the characters to go from A to B in what seems like an instant to the reader, but Alex Never Does This. The relationships in Alex’s books always, always feel earned, and this one is no exception.

Especially as the initial dislike Nico has for Tillie partly stems from totally justified outrage at being dragged on a quest and partly from them being Deeply Uncomfortable at the mirror Tillie is turning out to be. Watching Nico having to come to terms with the latter part of this while very gradually forgiving the former part of this was so fun!

I did not go into this expecting there to be a queer and/or disabled pirate crew captained by someone whose ex captains a rival pirate crew which occasionally gets into skirmishes with his own, but I was delighted by everything about that subplot.

As a genderqueer person who goes by a shortened version of their og name among friends and online but still uses their longer og name in professional settings and with coworkers, Yeah. I think this is the first time I’ve come across a non-binary character with this relationship to their og name. Some people have deadnames, and some people have Formal names, and it was neat to see a depiction of the latter!

I cannot emphasise enough how healing the core relationship of this book was to read about. As Nico grows to like Tillie and enjoy spending time with her, they develop a crush on Tillie. Tillie, as it turns out, is aroace, and so cannot reciprocate Nico’s romantic feelings. Since I started reviewing books I have read two separate books in which the main character falls for someone who’s aro, gets cruelly rejected as a result, and it’s this big deal that hugely impacts the book and even becomes the tragic-backstory emotional crux of the story, because how dare the aro person be aro??? Alex looked at that situation and went: No thanks! If you care about someone, you’re not gonna be cruel when telling them you don’t reciprocate their feelings, whether you're aro or not. If you care about someone, you’re not gonna act like them not reciprocating your feelings is some great tragedy, whether they’re aro or not. Nico and Tillie care about each other. Maybe it’s the arospec in me, but even if you do feel romantically attracted to someone, it’s seriously not the end of the world if you never do anything about it. You can still enjoy having those feelings while also getting to have that person in your life as your friend! Speaking from experience here, I promise it’ll be okay! This book is a love story, but not a romantic one, and while Nico says at one point they think they might have bit of a crush on Tillie forever, the relationship between Nico and Tillie is not a romantic one because Tillie is aroace and that is respected and guess what!!! The world didn’t end!!!!!

The sea having a concept of the economy and refusing to do anything to disrupt it is very funny to me for some reason kjdhsfkg

Also Alex if you ever do want to write a follow up about the other members of The House, 👀

[cielrouge]

YA SFF Books by Black Authors 

A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow: About the strength of black sisterhood set in Portland, OR, best friends Tavi and Effie discover their true supernatural identity when Effie starts being haunted by demons from her past, and Tavia accidentally lets out her magical siren voice during a police stop.

A Chorus Rises (A Song Below Water #2) by Bethany C. Morrow: Teen influencer Naema Bradshaw is an Eloko, a person who’s gifted with a song that woos anyone who hears it. Everyone loves her — well, until she's cast as the awful person who exposed Tavia’s secret siren powers. When a new, flourishing segment of Naema’s online supporters start targeting black girls, however, Naema must discover the true purpose of her magical voice.

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown: Inspired by West African folklore in which a grieving crown princess, Karina, and a desperate refugee, Malik, find themselves on a collision course to murder each other, despite their growing attraction.

Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor: Sunny Nwazue, an American-born albino child of Nigerian parents, moves with her family back to Nigeria, where she learns that she has latent magical powers which she and three similarly gifted friends use to catch a serial killer.

Akata Warrior (Akata Witch #2) by Nnedi Okorafor: Now stronger, feistier, and a bit older, Sunny Nwazue, along with her friends from the the Leopard Society, travel through worlds, both visible and invisible, to the mysterious town of Osisi, where they fight in a climactic battle to save humanity.

Bad Witch Burning by Jessica Lewis: For fans of Us and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comes a witchy story full of black girl magic as one girl’s dark ability to summon the dead offers her a chance at a new life, while revealing to her an even darker future.

Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi: After he eats the sin of a royal, Taj, a talented aki, or sin-eater who consumes the guilt of others whose transgressions are exorcised from them by powerful but corrupt Mages, is drawn into a plot to destroy the city, and he must fight to save the princess he loves and his own life.

Beasts of Prey by Ayana Gray: Two Black teenagers, talented Beastkeeper Koffi and warrior-in-training Ekon, must trek into a magical jungle to take down an ancient creature menacing the city of Lkossa, before they become the hunted.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In the opulent world of Orléans, where Beauty is a commodity only a few control, Belle Camellia Beauregard will learn the dark secrets behind her powers, and rise up to change the world. 

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney: A whimsical and butt-kicking Alice in Wonderland retelling featuring a black teen heroine who battles Nightmares in the dark and terrifying dream realm known as Wonderland. 

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves: 16-year-old Hanna reunites with her estranged mother in an East Texas town that is haunted with doors to dimensions of the dead and protected by demon hunters called Mortmaine.

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury: Set in near-future Toronto in which, after failing to come into her powers, 16-year-old Black witch Voya Thomas must choose between losing her family’s magic forever or murdering her first love.

The Bones of Ruin by Sarah Raughley: Set in Victorian England, African tightrope walker Iris cannot die; but soon gets drafted in the fight-to-the-death tournament of freaks where she learns the terrible truth of who and what she really is.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi: 17-year-old Zélie and companions journey to a mythic island seeking a chance to bring back magic to the land of Orïsha, in a fantasy world infused with the textures of West Africa.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2) by Tomi Adeyemi: After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But with civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart.

Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron: 16-year-old Sophia would much rather marry Erin, her childhood best friend, than parade in front of suitors. At the ball, Sophia flees, hiding in Cinderella’s mausoleum. There, she meets Constance, the last known descendant of Cinderella and her step sisters. Together they vow to bring down the king once and for all.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary--including using the most deadly magic--to track him down. 

A Crown So Cursed (Nightmare Verse #3) by L.L. McKinney: Alice is ready to jump into battle when she learns that someone is building an army of Nightmares to attack the mortal world, before she learns of a personal connection to Wonderland.

Daughters of Jubilation by Kara Lee Corthron: In Jim Crow South, black teen Evalene Deschamps finds her place among a family of women gifted with magical abilities, known as jubilation - a gift passed down from generations of black women since the time of slavery.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland: The Civil War is over, but mostly because the dead rose at Gettysburg—and then started rising everywhere else. Fighting the undead is a breeze for Jane McKenne, an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. But the fight for freedom? That’s a different story.

Deathless Divide (Dread Nation #2) by Justina Ireland: After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler. But nothing is easy when you’re a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to Nicodermus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880’s America.

A Dream So Dark (Nightmare Verse #2) by L.L. McKinney: Still reeling from her recent battle (and grounded until she graduates) Alice must cross the Veil to rescue her friends and stop the Black Knight once and for all in Wonderland.

Early Departures by Justin A. Reynolds: Jamal’s best friend Q is brought back to life after a freak accident … but they only have a short time together before he will die again.  How can Jamal fix his friendship without the truth?

Fate of Flames by Sarah Raughley:  Before they can save the world from the monstrous phantoms, four girls who have the power to control the classical elements: earth, air, fire, and water must first try to figure out how to work together. 

For All Time by Shanna Miles: Tamar and Fayard, two Black teens, are fated to repeat their love story across hundreds of lifetimes, from 14th-century Mali to the distant future, as they struggle to break the cycle.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna: Inspired by the culture of West Africa, a feminist fantasy debut traces the experiences of 16-year-old Deka, who is invited to leave her discriminatory village to join the emperor’s army of near-immortal women warriors.

The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The country of Arketta calls them Good Luck Girls--they know their luck is anything but. Sold to a "welcome house" as children and branded with cursed markings. When Clementine accidentally kills a man, the girls risk a dangerous escape to find freedom, justice, and revenge.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron: Set in a West African-inspired fantasy kingdom, Arrah comes from a long line of powerful witchdoctors, yet fails at magic. When Arrah trade years off her life for magic to stop the Demon King from destroying the world—that is if it doesn’t kill her first.

Legacy of Light (The Effgies #3) by Sarah Raughley: After Saul’s strike on Oslo—one seemingly led by Maia herself—the Effigies’ reputation is in shambles. Belle has gone rogue, Chae Rin and Lake have disappeared, and the Sect is being dismantled and replaced by a terrifying new world order helmed by Blackwell. If the Effigies can’t put the pieces together soon, there may not be much left of the world they’ve fought so desperately to save.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn: In this King Arthur retelling, Black teen Bree Matthews infiltrates a secret society of powerful magic wielders to find out the truth behind her mother’s untimely death.

Mem by Bethany C. Morrow: In alternate reality Montreal (1925), a young woman’s personality is the result of a startling experimental procedure, leaving her to struggle with the question of who she really is.

Miles Morales, Spider-Man by Jason Reynolds: But Miles Morales accidentally discovers a villainous teacher's plan to turn good kids bad, he will need to come to terms with his own destiny as the new Spider-man. 

Oh My Gods by Alexandra Sheppard: Half-mortal teenager Helen Thomas goes to live with her father—who is Zeus, masquerading as a university professor—and must do her best to keep the family secret intact.

The Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds: After falling for Kate, her unexpected death sends Jack back in time to the moment they first met, but he soon learns that his actions have consequences when someone else close to him dies.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith: Set in a futuristic, hostile Orleans landscape, Fen de la Guerre must deliver her tribe leader's baby over the Wall into the Outer States before her blood becomes tainted with Delta Fever. 

Nubia: Real One by L.L. McKinney & Robyn Smith: When Nubia’s best friend, Quisha, is threatened by a boy who thinks he owns the town, Nubia will risk it all—her safety, her home, and her crush on that cute kid in English class—to become the hero society tells her she isn’t.

A Phoenix First Must Burn: 16 Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope edited by Patrice Caldwell: Filled with stories of love and betrayal, strength and resistance, this collection contains an array of complex and true-to-life characters in which you cannot help but see yourself reflected. Witches and scientists, sisters and lovers, priestesses and rebels.

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron: In this contemporary fantasy inspired by The Secret Garden, Black teen Briseis has a gift: she can grow plants with a single touch. Up against a centuries-old curse and the deadliest plant on earth, Bri must harness her gift to protect herself and her family, when a nefarious group comes after her in search of a rare and dangerous immortality elixir.

A Psalm of Storm and Silence (A Song of Wraiths and Ruin #2) by Roseanne A. Brown: As the fabric holding Sonande together begins to tear, Malik and Karina once again find themselves torn between their duties and their desires.

A Queen of Gilded Horns (A River of Royal Blood #2) by Amanda Joy: After learning the truth of her heritage, Eva is on the run with her sister Isa as her captive, but with the Queendom of Myre on the brink of revolution, Eva and Isa must make peace with each other to save their kingdom.

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko: In a West African-inspired empire, Tarisai is raised by The Lady and sent to kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself?

Redemptor (Raybearer #2) by Jordan Ifueko: For the first time, an Empress Redemptor sits on Aritsar's throne. To appease the sinister spirits of the dead, Tarisai must now anoint a council of her own, coming into her full power as a Raybearer.

The Ravens by Danielle Page & Kass Morgan: The sisters of Kappu Rho Nu share a secret: they’re a coven of witches. For Vivi Deveraux, being one of Kappa Rho Nu’s Ravens means getting a chance to redefine herself. For Scarlett Winters, a bonafide Raven and daughter of a legacy Raven. When Vivi and Scarlett are paired as big and little for initiation, they find themselves sinking into the sinister world of blood oaths and betrayals.

Rebel Sisters (War Girls #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Though they are working toward common goals of helping those who suffered, Ify and Uzo are worlds apart. But when a mysterious virus breaks out among the children in the Space Colonies, their paths collide.

Reaper of Souls (Kingdom of Souls #2) by Rena Barron: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy: A North African-inspired feminist fantasy in which two sisters, Eva and Isa must compete in a magical duel to the death for the right to inherit the queendom of Myre.  

Slice of Cherry by Dia Reeves: In Portero, Texas, teens Kit and Fancy Cordelle, daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, bring two boys with similar tendencies to a world of endless possibilities they have discovered behind a mysterious door.

Siege of Shadows (The Effigies #2) by Sarah Raughley:  After Saul reappears with an army of soldiers with Effigy-like abilities, threatening to unleash the monstrous Phantoms, e-year-old Maia and the other Effigies hope to defeat him by discovering the source of their power over the four classical elements, but they are betrayed by the Sect and bogged down by questions about the previous Fire Effigy's murder.

The Sisters of Reckoning (The Good Luck Girls #2) by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The blockbuster sequel to an alternate Old West-set commercial fantasy adventure.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow: Set in the near-future, in which a captive teen human and a young alien leader—bonded by their love of forbidden books and music—embark on a desperate road trip as they attempt to overturn alien rule and save humankind. 

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi: Set in a futuristic, Black Panther-inspired Nigeria, sisters Onyii and Ify, separated by a devastating civil war, must fight their way back to each other against all odds.

Vessel by Sarah Beth Durst: When the goddess Bayla fails to take over Liyana's body, Liyana's people abandon her in the desert to find a more worthy vessel, but she soon meets Korbyn, who says the souls of seven deities have been stolen and he needs Liyana's help to find them.

The Weight of Stars by K. Ancrum: After a horrific accident brings loners Ryann and Alexandria together, Ryann learns that Alexandria's mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system.

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson: Black teen Marigold and her blended family move into a newly renovated, picture-perfect home in a dilapidated Midwestern city, and are haunted by what she thinks are ghosts, but might be far worse.

Wings of Ebony by J. Elle: Black teen Rue, from a poor neighborhood who, after learning she is half-human, half-goddess, must embrace both sides of her heritage to unlock her magic and destroy the racist gods poisoning her neighborhood with violence, drugs, and crime.

Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Thomas: In this Jamaican-inspired fantasy debut, two witches from enemy castes—one seeking power, and one seeking revenge—will stop at nothing to overthrow the witch queen, even if it means forming an alliance with each other and unleashing chaos on their island nation.

Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood: An Ethiopian-inspired Jane Eyre retelling in which an unlicensed debtera, or exorcist, Andromeda, is hired to rid a castle of its dangerous curses, only to fall in love with Magnus Rochester, a boy whose life hangs in the balance.

Yesterday Is History by Kosoko Jackson: Black teen Andre Cobb undergoes a liver transplant and as a side effect winds up slipping through time from present-day Boston to 1969 NYC on the eve of the Stonewall riots, delivering a story that is part romance, part gay history, and part time-travel drama, exploring how far we have and haven't come. 

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

What the actual fuck

i had to sit with my thoughts on 6x18 for a while. you know every time i tell myself 'this is the worst episode' the sg writers say 'hold my beer'. this is the final season i can count all the genuinely good episodes on one hand with 3 fingers to spare. it's honestly so sad. the premiere injected me with so much promise, the phantom zone storyline was supposed to be the chance to explore kara as her own damn character again, 6b was going to give us all our endgames and the unity between the super friends that we've been robbed of for the past few seasons. but they have literally given us anything but that. for instance in this episode:

- started in such a strange place i actually had to check to make sure i didn't miss something

- cringe cringe cringe. why are the effects so bad

- fight scenes are so terribly choreographed. fire whoever is responsible

- william trusting otis with intel. super friends trusting the intel. especially lena. like come on, you should know otis better than the others and his relationship with your brother. you didn't think it was in the least bit suspect? the fuck happened to you lena???

- given how incompetent the super friends have been this entire season, im actually shocked that they managed to get those totems from nyxly

- nyxly's truth totem test used to further her contrived romance with lex and just like that, nyxly has ceased to exist as her own character. i was genuinely enjoying her as a villain up until this point

- andrea is actually not a nice person but i blame the writers for making her such a mean girl cut out instead of a complex, morally grey character. there's no actual motivation for her behaviour. her stock characterization, one dimensionality, one minute scenes this season is such a poor way to handle her. the only revelance she served was in 5x06 and i had hoped that they would spend more time with her as acrata and developing her friendship with lena, especially while lena was separated from kara and the super friends. but no, they didn't do that and im so irritated by this

- can't believe im saying this but william wasn't wrong with what he said to andrea. he wasn't. but he should just quit catco and go home. why isn't that an option?

- lena giving andrea solid advice. you know what that is? GROWTH

- idk how publishing lex's journals really does anything for catco or tainting lex's public image. if the trial didn't, the trial where he pretty much said "yes I wanted to mind control the world, what of it?" didn't convince the world he's evil and crazy, nothing will

- one of the most unbelievable things is that cat grant exists on earth prime and she's apparently quite fine with how catco, her baby, is a joke now

- alex cannot and does not understand kara's lived experience. "i was there" god y'all have no idea how that triggered me

- alex literally has two character traits: asshole cop and supportive sister. her reaction to kara's very reasonable suggestion about helping esme with her powers. is it a bad thing to use training wheels when you're learning how to properly ride a bike? the child doesn't know how to control her powers and it's overwhelming for her. taking steps to help manage that does not have to equate hiding and suppressing. it's just easing her into it while she learns control. like wtf was this scene

- kara apologized too why?

- lex getting all this character growth in these past 2 episodes is also triggering

- the way lex and nyxly are getting all this development and screentime when your MAIN CHARACTER GETS NOTHING

- lena on comms. Ooooh westallen vibes

- loving these kara and space dad scenes we've been getting recently

- brainia wtf. the crimes committed to this couple are UNENDING

- im assuming nia can't go to the future because she has a descendant there and this will basically become the same situation amaya was in on legends

- lena's little hip sway came too late in the episode to keep me invested

- but also can we take a minute to appreciate how hot everyone was looking this episode? even william

- william is allegedly "friends" with superheroes so my big question is, why wouldn't you call them instead of picking up a knife? you mean to tell me that the tower doesn't have a panic room or something? some internal lockdown sequence that is manual and therefore cannot be remotely disabled? is this a joke?

- i tried putting on my phone's video and putting it in perfect frame in 0.1 secs like william and it was not physically possible

- lex is an asshole yes but even him killing william made zero sense narratively

- andrea will be forever traumatized because she got william killed and you know what? im not even mad about that

- what does upset me is that william's death was not impactful. i think about tommy merlyn dying in arrow S1 or stein in legends S3 and how those deaths greatly impacted the main characters and the even the audience. but william's death did...nothing. even the super friends reaction to seeing him there on the floor bleeding out was...benign. it wasn't sad, it was stupid and unnecessary. but it fits the theme of them killing POC characters

- the bachelorette party lasted all of 2 minutes and honestly the episode should've ended there

- but also thinking about how short the party was, the lack of intimacy we saw from dansen and i am reminded that the cw is not interested in giving us real representation. don't let them fool you into thinking otherwise

- would also like to point out that all the couples were standing next to each other and it's very homophobic that supercorp and dansen were not grinding on their partners

- is it weird to have your dad at your bachelorette party? feels like it would be. honestly would've made sense for j'onn and eliza to babysit esme but no, they just had to get william involved and try (fail) to give him a "hero's death"

so what i gathered from this episode is no brainia, probably no supercorp, idk what is happening with andrea, lex and nyxly have become our main couple and that the super friends (comprised of a martian, kryptonian, 12th level intellect, dream energy wielding badass, genius billionaire/witch and 2 skilled vigilantes) need 2 men from the future and calvintown's paper editor to help them fight the big bads.

what the actual fuck

[allmyfandombrainrot]

Thinking about the elephant princess so many things to say about that show it's an insane show that only I still remember in 2022 let me tell you all about it (its mostly bad. Its terrible but i didn't notice cause i was 8 and now i have Stockholm sindrome)

First of all. LIAM HEMSWORTH WAS IN IT. AS A LOVE INTEREST. LOOK AT THIS

Not to mention Margot Robbie who appears for two episodes, Eka Darville (Jessica jones anyone?) and apparently two power rangers????

Apart from that. Let's talk about the actual show cause it's a mess

Ok so basically it's about this princess who was hidden in another dimention as a baby (earth) and at the age of 16 is called to reclaim her throne ruining the plan of the villain who wanted to become king himself

As can be deducted from the picture above (or can it? , the kingdom, despite being set in another dimention (which has magic by the way, forgot to mention) clearly takes a lot from Indian culture. And by clearly I mean not clearly at all because it's literally the most stereotypical representation i have ever seen ever and I'm 100% sure they did not even try to research anything probably cause it's a kids show (yikes)

Oh top of that. THE "INDIAN" PRINCESS IS A WHITE AUSTRALIAN GIRL

I cannot stress this enough. The entire kingdom is made of poc actors and she is as white as a sheep in a snowy day

Everyone in the kingdom speaks with Australian accents which also makes no sense but i can allow that cause well it was for Australian kids they do need to understand the show

Don't even get me started on the writing

They really set up Kuru and Alex (the main character) with a whole episode where their kiss breaks a spell (true love etc etc) and then FORGOT ABOUT IT COMPLETELY

Still mad about it 😤😤😤

The whole season one had certain colors for the spells based on the characters and that also is just,,,,, gone in season 2

Literally whoever made season 2 has never seen the first one

All of the characters change personality I sweaR

If you don't consider the cultural appropriation season 1 is actually really good. Of course when you have to say the words "if you don't consider the cultural appropaition" that's already a bad start 💀

Oh did i mention the Elephant with the ability to teleport across dimentions

That's actually a point in its favor stan Nala

Yea this is all i could think of right now thanks to whoever reads through this insane half rant lmao

[naralanis]

little bumps in the road (pt. 26)

Previously, on LBitR...

Lena has never given much thought to what happens after death.

She’s heard all about feeling cold—she’s felt that cold, more than once. She’s heard all about darkness—which she has seen, but not exactly in a near-death context. She’s also heard all about the light.

She does see that—not exactly a light she has to follow or whatever it is people see when they die, but a blinding expanse of white, as far as her eyes can see, though a little fuzzy, darker around the edges of her vision.

Considering the way she went out, Lena’s very surprised she doesn’t see any green.

Green. Kryptonite.

Kara.

Something that feels like a sob wrenches itself out of her chest by force. That dumb, stupid, idiotic Kryptonian—if Lena’s dead, then Kara is for sure—how dare she—

“Lena?”

The voice is familiar, and close; physically close, something that Lena didn’t think was possibly in this ethereal, post-death realm. Lena turns her head and realizes that, despite the brightness of the light she’s seeing, her eyes are most definitely closed.

Huh.

She opens them, then blinks, because the only difference seems to be… a lot of fuzzy shapes.

“Lena?” the voice calls to her again, closer still.

“Eugh…” is Lena’s less-than-eloquent reply. She could have done worse; her throat constricts painfully around something, and it’s like she’s pulling air the wrong way in, which causes a coughing fit that rattles her to the bone.

“Hey, hey, it’s OK, take your time,” the voice continues, and Lena knows that voice, but right now her brain feels like actual Jell-O sloshing around in her skull, and her entire body lights up with pain, so it’s understandably taking her a little while to get her bearings.

She blinks the crust out of her eyes; the speaking blob at her side begins to take shape and look like a person.

“Lena, don’t worry. You’re alright, you’re at the DEO. You’re hurt, but we could take the implant out—there will be an adjustment period, but you’re alright.” The voice explains, and Lena finally, finally places it.

“Agh… ah—ugh… L-lex?” she tries; her tongue feels like a wad of cotton in her mouth, and her throat is just burning.

The voice grows soothing. “We got him, Lena, don’t worry, we got—”

Lena shakes her head, which is a terrible decision—there is s sharp jolt of pain that shoots down her temple and settles all the way at the base of her spine; it makes her clench her teeth, which in turn just worsens the throbbing in her head.

She attempts to raise a hand; that fails when another painful shock travels from her shoulder across her collarbones. Lena groans in frustration, she needs to ger her words out, but it’s like her entire body has decided to call it quits.

Finally, she manages.

“Ah-Alex… Alex?”

The figure releases a breathless little laugh, and a reassuring hand comes to rest very gently at Lena’s shoulder.

“It’s me, Lena. I’m alright, you’re alright. Rest now, OK? Your meds will be kicking in again any time.”

Lena is equal parts relieved and panicked; there’s the obvious relief that comes with the knowledge that Alex is fine and right here next to her. But the agent doesn’t say a word about her sister, and that fills Lena with a dread she cannot express in her condition; especially now, as her lids grow heavier by the second, as her body sinks into an undoubtedly double-padded mattress.

“K—K..agh…” she tries, needing to know that Kara is alright, that she’s alive, because if Lena made it, Kara has to be alive. The alternative is unthinkable.

She manages another unintelligible gurgle before the meds do kick in, and then she’s out like a light.

Lena dreams.

This time, she does see green—a lot of it as the entire space of her LuthorCorp office is awash in the glow of the fully-armed Kryptonite cannons, and when Supergirl—Kara—lowers herself onto her balcony, Lena realizes this is not a dream at all.

It’s a memory.

She watches Kara raise her arms in surrender, sees the crinkle of confusion on her brow as the Kryptonian stares at her as if she’s seeing someone else entirely.

Lena watches her fall once she’s hit by what was meant to be a lethal dose of Kryptonite.

The memory shifts.

They’re in the Jeep, this time. It’s the dead of night and Kara’s in the driver’s seat, hair cropped short—Christ, Lena had forgotten just how short it was during those first couple of weeks. Kara’s driving, but she’s not looking at the road—no, in this snippet of reality, she’s staring straight at Lena, her gaunt, pale complexion fixated on her passenger. She looks perplexed, but also, inexplicably, relieved.

The memories keep shifting—they’re at the diner where they finally spoke to one another again, then they’re at a gas station, a phone booth, on and on and on—until everything seems to move and merge into a blur of colours, shapes, and sounds. It’s a convoluted, puzzling mental kaleidoscope, but surprisingly, Lena finds it remarkably easy to make sense of it all.

After all, how could she not? These are her memories. She’s lived through it all before.

Lena blinks into awareness slowly, this time. Her dream—or actual trip down memory lane—fades away softly, giving way to the soothing darkness of eyes gently closed for sleep.

There’s warmth at her side, and movement, too. It’s the up-and-down, in-and-out steady rhythm of deep breathing.

Lena instinctively tucks into the warmth and feels it in a solid, unmovable presence on her bed. She blinks once, twice, registers the lower lighting of her room, the tell-tale beeping of hospital equipment…and a very warm Kryptonian, glued to her side, squeezed so tight into the MedBay bed she cannot be comfortable.

Lena shifts—she needs to get a better look, needs to touch, to make sure she’s not dreaming, that her mind (which hasn’t been extremely reliable as of late) isn’t playing a cruel trick on her.

When she moves, blue eyes rimmed by dark circles snap open; they crinkle at the corners with a smile as they meet Lena’s gaze head on, and Lena releases a breath of pure relief.

“Hey,” Kara murmurs, her voice a soft breath ghosting over Lena’s cheeks since they’re only inches apart.

Lena can’t really help it; the tears are running down her cheeks before she realizes she’s crying, and she breathes in through sniffles as she reaches out to touch Kara’s face.

She’s there, inches away, warm and soft, and alive, and Lena lets the sobs rip through her chest. Her breaths are short little stuttering gasps, really, and she can’t stop smiling.

“Hey,” she whispers back, leaning into the warmth of Kara’s touch once the Kryptonian delicately wipes at her tears with her thumb. Her hand stays there, cradling Lena’s face as they smile like idiots after one-too-many near-death experiences.

“I have to admit,” Kara says after some time, smile unwavering and bright despite the pallor of her features, “that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”

Lena chuckles—she does so lightly, since her ribs (most likely broken) protest at the slightest movement. “What, crying?” she asks. She can’t really move her arms, or really anything at all, so she settles for slightly craning her neck, leaning further into the hand Kara has kept in place at her tear-stained cheek.

Kara just nods, laughing a little. There’s a warm yellow hue around them—Lena surmises someone probably moved a sunlamp to her bed once Kara invited herself in—and it makes Kara’s hair, growing at awkward, adorable angles, glow golden and beautiful.

Lena soaks it all in.

“Is this real?” she can’t help but ask. She doesn’t think she would survive another trick of the mind, especially one so cruel.

Kara shifts on the thin mattress, impossibly closer, body practically melding along Lena’s. She’s still smiling, and there’s such certainty in her gaze, Lena practically melts with relief before Kara can even reassure her.

“Yes,” Kara says. “I have to admit the details are a little bit fuzzy,” she raises her arm with some difficulty to poke playfully at her own head, “but it seems I uh, ripped the Lexosuit apart and tossed it just before it exploded.”

Lena furrows her brows, trying to remember. All she can recall was the countdown clock and the split-second feeling of weightlessness before she began falling to the earth once the suit powered down.

“And then?”

Kara shrugs—Lena notices how her movements are stilted, like moving pains her, and wonders just how close to dying Kara had been. Again. “As far as I know, J’onn got to you in the nick of time.”

Lena narrows her eyes. “And you?”

Kara looks sheepish. “I uh. Hit the pavement.”

It’s said so… matter-of-factly, so casual and off-hand. It wrenches another sob right out of Lena, and her ribs ache in protest, but all she can think is Kara falling again, crumpling limply onto the pavement again, being on the brink of death again, and she can’t—Lena can’t cope with the image at all.

“Hey, hey, no, it’s OK,” Kara moves in, ready to calm and soothe, wiping at Lena’s tears with both hands. Her lips find Lena’s forehead, and while the gesture is entirely unprecedented, it has the desired effect—Lena’s body instinctively relaxes, and her sobs begin to abate. “I’m here,” Kara says, lips still on Lena’s skin, “Good as new, I promise.”

Lena doesn’t believe that for one second—there’s an unhealthy pallor to Kara’s complexion that tells her she still has a lot of time to spend under the sunlamps, and Lena can tell just how much it hurts for the Kryptonian to move. She bets there are slow-healing bruises all over her skin under the DEO-issue henley and sweats.

Though—she considers as her own body twinges with pains she hasn’t yet had the mental fortitude or will to catalogue in their entirety—she supposes she also has a long way to go as well.

“How long have we been out?”

“A few days,” Kara replies, chin resting atop Lena’s head and showing no inclination of moving. Good. “I just woke up a few hours ago.”

Lena grins. “And then the first thing you did was come to crowd my space while I recovered?”

Kara laughs. “Of course not. I went to pee first.”

It’s worth the twinges in her ribcage to chuckle a little. Lena lets out as deep a sigh as her injuries will allow, and her breathing adjusts to follow the steady rise-and-fall of Kara’s chest, still melded to her side.

“So, what now?”

Kara’s sigh is deep, and when she speaks, her voice grows heavier with sleep by the word. She’s probably exhausted and just about ready to conk out.

Lena thinks she’s got the right idea.

“Well,” the Kryptonian murmurs, voice so soft Lena has to strain to hear over the faint hum of hospital machinery surrounding them. “Nia caught Lex—gave him a good ol’ trashing, from what I hear. Uh, your name’s been cleared. LuthorCorp is yours, or will be after Lex’s trial—again. Supergirl is alive and back, sort of. Kara Danvers, meanwhile, is due to return from a mysterious illness… or something, I’m not sure what lie Nia made up at CatCo. Oh, and…”

Lena nods, barely processing Kara’s words. She’s just sinking into warmth, and Kara’s rambling in earnest now, and it feels so familiar. Comfortable, even here, cramped in this tiny MedBay cot.

Especially here.

Lena tucks further into Kara’s neck, and that stops Kara’s talking just enough for her to get a word in edgewise. “OK,” she whispers against Kara’s skin. “But for now… we just rest?”

She feels Kara’s slight nod, and Lena’s smile stretches wider while her eyes grow heavier. “Together?”

Another nod. Another whisper. “Together.”

<<<Previous||

That’s it! It’s done! Oof! Thank you all for humouring me in this wild, bumpy ride. All chapters (plus an epilogue!) will be posted on my AO3 within the next few days.

[glorious-blackout]

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

I was tagged by the lovely @elorianna, thank you! 🥰 I’m a pretty terrible judge of my own writing, especially in retrospect, but here are a few fics I’m fond of regardless:

1) You’ve Always Been Here

Mark knows he should be happy. He's the renowned owner of the most sought-after hotel in the galaxy, gets to perform onstage to adoring crowds every night, and can gaze up at Earth from the lunar surface whenever he pleases. And yet, he cannot shake the feeling that something is fundamentally wrong. All-consuming weariness takes hold as his mind is weighed down by memories which are not his own, and the mysterious stranger in the bar spouting mad theories about simulated realities isn't exactly helping matters.

Crossover between Arctic Monkeys' 'Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino' and Muse's 'Simulation Theory'.

I’m still a bit blown away by the love this story received considering it started out as a self-indulgent piece written for @rock-n-roll-fantasy, but it was enormous fun to write something original using only lyrics and music videos for inspiration as opposed to a pre-existing plot. I’m not ashamed to admit that this story dominated my mind for months 😅 It also marked the first time I dipped my toe into writing for the AM/TLSP fandom which led me to meet wonderful writers within that fandom, and for that I’ll always be grateful 🥰

2) Is This What You Wanted 

The world is in ruins. Alex has escaped Tranquility Base only to find himself trapped among the broken remains of his home, and on top of that, he's unable to determine if anything around him is even real or simply another fiction.Not that any of that matters. It's hard to care about the world ending when he gets to wake up in Miles' arms every morning.

Sequel to 'You've Always Been Here'.

Picking this may technically be cheating as it’s a sequel to my first choice, but the setting feels very different and I was faced with the unique challenge of trying to write a fix-it that didn’t negate the ending to the original. Not sure if I succeeded or not, but writing this one was just as fun (and all-consuming) as its predecessor. It also should be noted that this fic wouldn’t exist without @elorianna 💖

3) This Is Going To Hurt

Today is supposed to be a good day for Alex. He's caught up in the midst of an incredible Puppets tour, he's all set to play a mind-blowing gig in a new city and - best of all - he even finds himself waking in the comfort of Miles's arms. Unfortunately he also wakes with what feels like the most horrendous hangover of his life, and somehow his day only gets worse from there.

I’ve definitely become kinder to this one over time as it made me want to pull my hair out at several points during the writing process 😅 Pretty sure this was my first proper sick-fic though and it allowed me to finally unleash my inner medical geek, much to poor Alex’s detriment...

4) Watch Our Souls Fade Away 

Nebula and Tony struggle to come to terms with everything they've lost as they make the journey back to Earth. Takes place immediately after the events of Avengers: Infinity War.

With a lot of my older fics I definitely fell into a trap of writing what I thought the audience would want rather than something I actually wanted to write, so I’m genuinely delighted that my most popular fic is one that I both remain fond of and was something I wrote entirely for myself. I still can’t believe how well it did considering it’s centred around an (at the time) underrated female character in a very male-centric fandom, but the response was overwhelming in the best way. It was one of those rare moments where my motivation to write was matched by a wealth of ideas and this fic became my life over the course of three weeks. It was also an exercise in problem solving as I would often write myself into corners and have to think my way out of them without breaking the narrative, but thankfully I found that to be a fun challenge rather than an off-putting obstacle 😅

5) What’s Left Unspoken

Gamora's aware that Peter loves her. Though it scares her, she thinks she's starting to love him too. The hard part is admitting it.

I think my days of writing for Marvel are long behind me and I’m not sure how well some of those stories hold up, but I was always quite proud of this one. Part of me sometimes wishes I could go back and rewrite certain bits of it, but for the most part I think it accomplished exactly what I wanted it to.

Tagging: @lanatural-books​, @alexturne, @yellowloid, @alexxturner-me-on, @1llusionmachine and @rock-n-roll-fantasy​ if you guys want to join in 🥰

[antihumanism]

When I type everything out as a single run-on sentence I want you to imagine me cornering you off-guard in a crowded room, my empty brown cow eyes staring straight at you and reflecting you--nopony home here, she checked out and hopped away forever ago on the toxic chemical trains and clacking cattle cars years ago--and just, for no reason, I’m here and you’re there pocketed in the corner of a crowded room, and I’m channeling my alternate history past-self who was a preacher that got kicked out of the church for delivering sermons about the impossibility of sin and just ran off to Point Sur with my harem of distractions since I could never stop blessing my congregation saying “Go forth and know that you cannot sin, in the beautiful eyes of God and in my beautiful eyes there can be no wrong or evil” which backfired on me when they started setting fires and it all went to Hell, but I’ve won out over them because the world honored my wishes when I sighed “I should like to start again,” and so I’m here with you and you’re hear with me and I’m saying some insane shit like: “Looking back on Emily’s early works it is easy to see where her later reactionary turn comes from, because, from the start, Alfred Alfer was a story about the fear of castration, I mean, the first video was literally about Alfred getting neutered and escaping into a violent fantasy where he is loved and praised for his violence and the ‘punchline’ establishes the general theme of ‘reality by despair,’ which is to say that Alfred’s clearly dissociative episode is ‘verified’ by his destruction and it is this self-destruction that establishes ‘reality,’ like ‘pinch me i might be dreaming,’ but the pinch is violent and unfair self-destruction as hope is still ripped away, but hope remains, because it is a hope to die rather than be changed by the world, and this theme remains throughout her most famous work (the Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy which cements in canon the jokes of her previous Rise of Alfred cartoon) where Alfred is possessed by the spirits of Stalin and Hitler--a false equivalency made by the authoritarians that have passed for liberals for years--in Rise of Alfred, one would be remiss not to mention the phallic imagery in both the title and the video itself, Alfred is cut loose upon the world by the absence of a Near God or little other by the orders of a Distant God or big Other (in this video played by a droning and irrelevant corporate figure that can offer nothing more than a wall without lead paint that one can lick), and this is the essence of reactionary thought, the idea of a big Other who is totally incompetent yet all powerful and somehow worth respecting and suffering for (King Henry II saying ‘will no one rid me of this troublesome priest’ or the departed Daiymo of the 47 Ronin), the reactionary sees the big Other as a master who can only set the dogs off the chain, the police chief who needs to get out of the way so McBain or Dirty Harry or Paul Kersey (especially in Death Wish III) can do what needs to be done and purge away all the filth and make the world right again (no different than Rambo--even the first movie, which for all of it’s goods part still is  reactionary propaganda bullshit pushing the fascist lies about a ‘fifth column’ that was rude to poor little meow meow war criminals--or modern day fantasies about nuking all of MENA until it glows green (fantasies delivered to raucous applause at Republican presidential conventions); the reactionary is perpetually trapped in this fantasy of destroying the world and escaping into the void of space, freed of the ground where the riff-raff are so they don’t have to negotiate life with their neighbors, and this is true, yes, even of people who spout bullshit about Fully Automated Luxury Communism who only want the right to consume as much as possible free of guilt--a condition they think is inflicting upon them by the big Other--as the Champagne of Shame Socialists of the 60s), and the righting of the world for the reactionary is just that, that the world must be Righted and the reactionary must be loved for all of their violence and because of their violence, for the reactionary finds themselves ever needing new excuses as they open new fronts in their fake, phony Culture War, and that is all they need (excuses), which is why Emily is so obsessed with justifying her edgy shit based on some Trauma (which is handy excuse to do Anything, even Things that Cannot Be Excused like war or self-harm or wanting to be seen), and so here you should already be able to hear so much madness, so many plaintive cries, all aligning around the same point (the trannies in the ‘wrong’ bathroom, the refugees in the ‘wrong’ country, the people in the ‘wrong’ neighborhood, the Jewish Question, etc), and, anyway, so in Rise of Alfred, Emily’s OC directly addresses the audience and tells them that they must love him/her--the castrated bitch desperate to be let off the leash--and in Alfred’s Playhouse she/he simultaneously affirms and denies the nature of a trauma that justifies everything (one is constantly reminded of The Act of Killing where one of the mass murderers imagines how, depending on the editing of the final film, he could be either a woobie or a war criminal) as the Trauma is simultaneously a joke--’sodomized with a popsicle!’--and the alleged real event that motivates her self-mutilation as we’re expected to believe Emily is processing something, but what is she is processing, hmmmm, isn’t that the true spice,” I rail and rave against your poor ear drums as my empty, dead cow’s eyes capture your entire body and reflect it back at you and the ice cubes in my drink pop and shatter and dissolve and as my fist clenches tighter and tighter around the glass containing them and I continue: she’s processing a fear of castration, which is shown clearly in Alfred’s Playhouse where Alfred’s “sodomy” is demonstrated by the sight of his crotch covered in blood (a scene that will be repeated in The Alfred Alfer Movie) but “what is castration,” one might ask, and one can respond “it is the removal of power by the Father,” and this is how we wrap back around to our root in the nature of Emily the Reactionary who believes herself to be deprived of the power she holds by The Bolshevik Jew that has inserted itself between her and the Father and this is the cause of the big Other’s ineffectiveness, and this is also the core of the reactionary as a whole, the reactionary doesn’t want a daddy to control them, but a Master to set them off the chain because they hate the Father who has castrated them, this is the nature of the mumbling corporate manager in Rise of Alfred, but it is also the nature of Alfred herself--and now you may ask if Emily is trans and the answer is I literally couldn’t fucking care less about any question left forever unanswered on God’s Green Earth and you shouldn’t care either--but Alfred the Castrated is also the Father/Mother of Alfred the Dictator, the murderous inner-self that is immune to consequences of the onrushing future (The Alfred Alfer Movie) but not immune to the justifications of the imagined past (Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy), and therefore free to inflict whatever violence that Emily the Reactionary desires, and it is in pursuit of this freedom that the reactionaries set off in the name of New Sincerity (two things to be noted here: (1) the Death of Irony was proclaimed at the birth of the 21st century police state and the new Forever War with all of its genocidal objectives, that is to say, 9/11, and (2) the broken necked coward who complained of American Psycho that it’s author provided no easy outs for easy survival was the one who offed himself while Bateman’s father still lives) and the Talking Cure (i miss who we used to be), and at this you should see me slugging back the whole lukewarm glass in between two syllables and continuing on without pause (as if this dog still has legs on which to receive them in any case), “Emily, like Alex Jones, is so desperate for an excuse because neither of them can accept that they have to be the one that pulls the trigger, like all liars they don’t understand that they have to define reality by action, the answer to what one might do is found in the difference between the types of irony, one type is constantly desperate for excuses (such as the broken necked coward found one day) for violence, and the other irony, the true spice, is the irony that releases from excuses into violence and energy, one must seek not to know or endure but to inflict, knowing that this inflicting was always inevitable, no searching for justifications, instead the answer is to realize that there was never a chain there connecting you to the Master or the present to the past, and the Father/Mother never had the power of castration (the past, after all, is a foreign country bombed and blasted to ruins already and better forgotten), and you can just be fucked up and terrible and do whatever amuses you right now without needing an excuse, and to the extent that anyone should, one should, because that is what fascism needs, fascism needs the need for an excuse and that is the irony of fascism--where the falling angel (the superego) meets the rising ape (the id) in an ego of ultimate violence which seeks only release from both of its creations in an instinctually and totally misunderstood caricature of dialectics--which opposes its opposite irony (the irony without fascism which is the id’s violence against purpose and reason rising free of anything else to obstruct it), and if you let go of that, if you just, ya know, if you just, you just have to cut loose and go and no one can stop you until it is too late, because there’s no Jew sitting over your shoulder to justify everything in terms of opposition or support, not even The Nazarene is real, but do you understand that you’ve always been free to just go? You’re free to go. You’ve been free to go all this time. You never needed permission for this or anything else. You’ve been free to go all this time. You’re free to go. A whole day off. Just mind the mo(u)rning and get on with it.”

[smokeybrandreviews]

Crisis Actors

The Flash sounds like hot dog water but it makes sense to me why it's as terrible as it is. As i understand it, the thing will be the last ATT/WB production to be released since it got pushed back. That means the Discovery group will be able to actually have a bit more control over that one through reshoots a la The Josstice League. Now, as a passive DC fan, i don't care whether this thing succeeds or not. As a fan of comics, i am absolutely intrigued by it. As a fan of film, i cannot wait to see where this thing goes. All of that stems from The Flash being a multiverse film.

Aside from bringing back MY Batman, they're introducing a new Batgirl, a proper Supergirl (that one i cannot wait to see) and reviving both Zod and Faora. Faora, for me, was the best thing in MoS and i felt bad when she "died." There is a rumored mid credits scene with Aquaman in the "new" universe and a Superman cameo in another, flying beside the newly introduced Supergirl. But the gem in this clusterf*ck crown is the last extra credit scene where Batfleck give Barry the dream-in-a-dream treatment he got in JL, telling Barry "Come find us." That means this Flashpoint doesn't erase the Snyderverse, which makes sense because, you know, money. This one scene also redeems the Snyderverse to an extent. How so, you ask? Crisis.

If Discovery is about that loot, and they don't want to move pass the Snyderverse entirely, Crisis is the perfect opportunity to keep the cash cow intact while enriching it's contradictorily flaccid and convoluted, narrative. This gives Snyder his weirdly depressing JLA 2 to Nightmare and the resolution, to everything, can be a Crisis on Infinite Earths. It's well known Snyder planned for the heroes to lose in JL2. Snyder, whatever universe that Old Man Wayne is in, and the Shazam crew, can team up and fight Darkseid in a proper Crisis event that leaves the door open for a Thanos figure in the Anti-Monitor.

Continue the various series and tones in HBO max shows, sprinkling in little hints of a continuing reality fracture, glimpses of someone like Pariah or Psycho-Pirate, culminating in a Justice League Unlimited movement where we get to fully see the Anti-Monitor. He sends his agents into the primary cinematic worlds and they begin to destabilize the multiverse. Basically, we're doing Infinite Crisis. Anti has had a ton of OP henches so just pick. Alex Luthor, Henshaw, Prime, i guess Sinestro; So many proper villains who could be Avengers level threats, book end antagonists who's overall conflict serves as a means to give Anti a little more hole in each universe. This could be a great way to wipe the slate clean, erasing the superfluous, and problematic, elements of the DC which came before. The only issue is time.

Ezra Miller is very publicly losing his f*cking mind and Amber Heard is a year out from being a convicted domestic abuser who sh*ts in beds. You gotta get rid of these cats as soon as possible. A Crisis that mergers all of the world into one, effectively reversing the roles of Infinite Earths and Infinite Crisis, will give a proper out for that to happen. You can bring back the pieces that work, like Mamoa, and tentatively recast those that were suspect during the first cast, like Gadot. You can retcon the sh*t out of Birds of Prey while introducing new or revamped versions of those character. Cass Cain, I'm looking at you. Maybe we get that Khaleesi, Mother of Seas which works so much better than the Turd on the Tide we got now? Hell, Imagine a live action Kaley Cuoco and Margot Robbie Harley, vibing onscreen together. I'd pay so much money to see that. Ultimately, i don't think The Flash is going to be very good as a film but i think, if the aftermath is handled correctly and the Discovery execs properly understand how to make entertainment, it can lead to something very special. As long as they can keep Ezra from robbing a bank in the next fifteen months.

[the-red-shelf-of-westmarch]

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides

I also learned, from a young age, that I did not walk on the ground - but on a narrow network of invisible ropes, suspended above the earth. I had to navigate them carefully, trying not to slip and fall. Certain aspects of my personality were offensive, it seemed. I had terrible secrets to hide - even I didn’t know what they were.

With a plot that cannot decide what it wants to be until a final reveal that devalues every aspect of the story, the most bland characters ever written and harmful portrayals of mental health, this book not only didn’t rise to expectations but didn’t even attempt to reach for them. A reading experience that will have you turning every page out of confusion and curiosity at how such a mess could possibly come together. An indescribably appalling waste of time.

Read full review here: The Red Shelf of Westmarch

1.25 ★ / 5