#alina doesn’t need men

[mangoisms]

also rereading the books has reminded me of how much i don’t like mal or the darkling LAMMDKDNWODKSOKS

[stromuprisahat]

Why don't I buy Malyen's sudden change of heart in R&R, pt. 2

Malyen doesn't like for Alina to be around other attractive men. He forbids her to steal the Darkling's colour. Sure, her position at the Court makes it impossible to control her comings and goings, but he lets her know he hates the place she chose to reside in, or the fact she dares to focus on other things than him.

An abusive man often considers it his right to control where his partner goes, with whom she associates, what she wears, and when she needs to be back home. He therefore feels that she should be grateful for any freedoms that he does choose to grant her, and will say something in a counseling session like, “She’s all bent out of shape because there’s one sleazy girl I don’t let her hang out with, when all the rest of the time I allow her to be friends with anyone she wants.” He expects his partner to give him a medal for his generosity, not to criticize him for his oppressiveness.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

Isn't this metaphor an irony?! As if the show writers read the book and thought: "Yeah, but what if we make this ~romantic~?""

When I have new clients, I go to the board and draw a compass with the needle pointing straight up to a big N. “You want your partner to be this compass,” I say to them, “and you want to be North. No matter where the compass goes, it always points in the same direction. And no matter where she goes, or what she’s doing, or what’s on her mind, you expect her to always be focused on you.” My clients sometimes protest to me, “But that’s what being in a relationship is about. We’re supposed to focus on each other.” But I notice that when he focuses on her, most of what he thinks about is what she can do for him, not the other way around. And when he doesn’t feel like focusing on her at all, he doesn’t bother.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

"Come to target practice with me tomorrow... I wanted you to ask me to stay."

The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

Aren't those Malyen's two main traits in Seige and Storm? Or even earlier. Remember when he slut-shamed Alina during Winter Fete? How he got angry she's not crying her eyes in a tower, waiting for his heroic appearance?

HE ISN’T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE’S ANGRY BECAUSE HE’S ABUSIVE.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

The only time I remember Alina becoming angry WITH Mal, he walks out. Unfortunately for her, Baghra's there to pick up the work and once on the run, Alina falls right into Malyen's arms.

... on some level he senses—though not necessarily consciously—that there is power in your anger. If you have space to feel and express your rage, you will be better able to hold on to your identity and to resist his suffocation of you. He tries to take your anger away in order to snuff out your capacity to resist his will.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

The books are written in rather puritan "asexual" way- as many pointed out, sexual desire is strongly connected to the Darkling and his "corruption"-, but should we count kissing, Malyen reacted negatively to being denied ~that~, which would make it lovely three out of four.

So is he lying when he says he loves you? No, usually not. Most of my clients do feel a powerful sensation inside that they call love. For many of them it is the only kind of feeling toward a female partner that they have ever had, so they have no way of knowing that it isn’t love. When an abusive man feels the powerful stirring inside that other people call love, he is probably largely feeling: · The desire to have you devote your life to keeping him happy with no outside interference · The desire to have sexual access · The desire to impress others by having you be his partner · The desire to possess and control you These desires are important aspects of what romantic love means to him. He may well be capable of feeling genuine love for you, but first he will have to dramatically reorient his outlook in order to separate abusive and possessive desires from true caring, and become able to really see you.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

It's beyond hysterical, that Aleksander was closer to genuine love, than Malyen. He is the one, who wanted strong, capable Alina. He wanted her to enjoy and love herself, embrace who she is instead of making herself less.

Sure, it doesn't kill the General in him, he won't cancel his people-saving efforts for her. It doesn't erase his weariness of losing people or any of his issues lifetimes of futility created, but he wants a partner, not a servant.

Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person’s self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.

Chapter 3: The Abusive Mentality

[sailor-hufflepuff]

Sometimes I think the difference between darklinas and antis is which parts of the (frankly contradictory) books we consider canon.

Darklinas look at book one, at the Darkling who has worked tirelessly for centuries to free his people without taking power for himself, look at the monarchy which allows endless wars and starvation at the whims of a rapist, at Mal who ignores (at best) and undermines (at worst) the heroine while merrily sleeping his way through the first and second armies, only to notice her the moment she looks at someone else…

We look at those things, and look at later books and say “That doesn’t make sense. The Darkling would never ally with Fjerda, would never kill Grisha, it’s against everything that he is.”

We say “the Lantsov dynasty is corrupt, and should be destroyed, the entire feudal society of Ravka needs an overhaul”.

We say “A boy who compares the girl he wants to marry to a donkey, who kisses another girl the moment Alina’s attention wanders from him, who openly prefers her when she was sickly and powerless, is not good husband material.”

Antis, on the other hand, seem to take the opposite view. They see the Darkling as the power-mad mass murderer of RaR, and assume the General who eats on the ground with his men was a manipulation.

They see Nikolai as a shining example of the fairytale prince and conclude that the monarchy only needs a NEW king, a GOOD king, and everything will be fine.

They see the Mal who is willing to die for Alina, who gives himself to her and her cause, and think “I wish someone were willing to die for me. I wish someone would look at me and change his ways,” and thus view his characterization in books one and two as the foibles of youth.

Darklinas look at the duology and say “it was the King who conscripted Grisha and otkazatsya alike, who raped Genya, and the Darkling who gave everything for Ravka.”

Antis look at the duology and say “Zoya and Genya both blame the Darkling for their problems, therefore he must have groomed them.”

Which is more canon, the first thing written or the most recent thing published? I think that’s what truly divides us.

[beautysamour]

Wrong destination | chapter two.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: After running into Alina and Mal, the three of you try to get out of Noyvi Zem before getting caught. This leads you to another encounter that you’re sure will mess up the time line.

warning/s: none

taglist: @spellsofavalon @vera0124

enjoy!

“Only two ships in a harbor town? Something’s not right.”

The three of you were currently hiding between some barrels, the current plan was to escape by ship.

“Maybe Bohdan ordered them away,” suggested Alina, “But the first army doesn’t have jurisdiction here,” Mal replied quickly.

You’ve read some books about the first army but you weren’t a hundred percent educated on them. You found the first grisha queen’s story a lot more interesting, and inspiring.

You didn’t speak up at all during the conversation between the two and felt especially awkward when Mal leaned his forehead against hers, you felt like you weren’t supposed to be there.

Which you weren’t, but whatever.

The three of you stepped away from the barrels and began to walk towards the people in front of the ship. You clenched your fists on the walk down; Alina suggested bribing them with 20 million kruge, but you were still on edge from the fight from earlier.

When you reached the people at the ship, Alina outstretched an arm to them handing them a piece of gold, “It’s gold,” she says.

The girl who Alina handed the gold to, took it and- bit it.

“That’ll do,” she said before turning back to a young man behind her, handing him the piece of gold. The young man examined the piece of gold on his own before fully confirming to himself that it was real gold.

“Come on then, hurry up. I’ll take you to the captain.”

Apart of you was actually excited, you were going to be traveling with pirates, not everyone from your time can say they’ve done that. You tried to contain your excitement though, you didn’t want anyone to think you were suspicious.

You were about to say thank you and enter the ship before someone called out for you-“You! Stop!”

The fucking guards.

The girl you first met at the ship immediately stepped towards them, edging them on.

“You want to fight Ravka?”

Still on edge, you took your other shoe off and threw it at the group of men then immediately made a run for it onto the ship, followed by Alina, Mal, and the young man; leaving the young woman alone to humble the group of men.

—

“Let’s be clear about two things. I don’t take orders on my own ship. And we’re already underway, I’m glad you’ve joined us.”

The captain, you assumed, had his arms on the table in front of him, resting his weight on the table and leaning forward.

He had ginger hair and green muddy eyes. Although he wasn’t standing up straight, you could tell that he was tall. His nose was crooked, it looked as if he got it handed to him multiple times.

“Now, maybe if you’d be so kind as to give the room a little light,” he continued,” after all you are Alina Starkov. A 20 million kurge saint.”

He pulled out a gun from his jacket and set it on the table, voicing out a silent threat, “dead or alive.”

No wonder his nose was crooked, if you felt a little more confident in your fighting abilities you probably also would’ve decked him in the face.

“Before you continue with the threats,” you begin to say honestly not caring about what’s happening. You knew that at the end of this conversation, he would let Alina and Mal out, might as well leave the room as soon as possible, “could I leave the room? I don’t think I’m needed here.”

Tolya, whose name you learned on the way to the captain, let out a deep exhale.

The captain looked at you slightly confused beige nodding and gesturing Tolya to walk you out the room.

“Wait outside the door though, I have to speak with you too,” said the captain before Tolya came up to you and gestured you out the room.

You were hoping to have some quiet outside the room, but you throwing a shoe out of everything at military personnel amused Tolya to no ends, enough for him to stay talking about it for 10 minutes.

“Do you always throw shoes at people?”

“No-“

“Where are you from? You don’t seem like a Ravka girl.”

“Gee, thanks-“

“What brought you here-“

The door abruptly opening cut Tolya off mid sentence.

“Can you give them a small tour around the ship? Then bring them to the fancy quarters,” the captain said before turning his gaze to you and walking back into his office, implying for you to follow, and you did.

“Close the door on your way in,” he said.

You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room when you finished closing the door. The captain went around his desk and resumed the same position he was in when you first walked into his office.

“Now who are you?”

“Y/N.”

“No last name?”

“Who are you?”

“The name’s Sturmhond.”

“Is that your last name?”

“It’d be a terrible first.”

He leaned further on the table, quickly getting irritated at your distancing, “Alright, love, if you came any other day you’d probably be in luck for me to indulge in your little back and forth momentum, but you coincidentally came in the same time as the sun summoner. Not everyone just regularly travels with a saint.”

You looked away from him, afraid that he’ll somehow expose you to be a time traveler.

“So I’ll ask again, and only once again, who are you.”

“I just want a place to sleep at until we reach shore again.”

“That’s utter bull, love, and you know it.”

You look back at him, your emotional and physical tiredness catching up with you, “I just had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with them, that’s all. You can use a heartrender,” you clear your throat, the memory of Elijah popping up in your head, “to make sure I’m telling the truth when I say I don’t have any ill agenda.”

“But you have one,” he challenges.

“When does someone not?”

He seemed to not have any remarks to that. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he just kept his eyes on you.

“Very well,” he finally says. “You seem tired, I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

He gave you a small grin, looking strangely familiar to Elijah’ grin whenever he teased you.

—

“May not look like the fanciest, but I swear, it’ll feel as such. Well actually that’s a lie, but what can you expect from a hammock at sea? Enjoy your stay, love.”

You let out a breath you’ve been holding since you walked on to the ship once Sturmhond was far away for you to feel slightly relaxed.

Your area was small and was set in between two other hammocks that belonged to complete strangers. Fortunately you didn’t have any luggage with you so you didn’t have to worry about anything getting stolen. You didn’t even have any shoes.

Wow so classy.

You put one of your legs up on the hammock, attempting to get on it. You failed. Then you tiptoed and set your lower behind on the hammock, trying to get on it once again. This time it worked.

You slowly recline your body, leaning on your side, before turning on your back, now looking up at the ceiling of this sleeping area.

“You would’ve loved this place, eli, you always wanted to be a pirate,” you laugh softly, remembering a childhood moment.

“Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

Elijah, a seven year old, threatened with his weirdly bent fork that was taped onto his pointer finger.

“Eli,” you exclaimed, “that didn’t even rhyme!”

“Arrr matey, pirates don’t have to rhyme my lady,” replied Elijah, pronouncing the end of lady like “ty” to make it rhyme with matey.

“Ew, don’t call me that,” you scrunched your face, cringing at the pet name.

Elijah dropped his shoulders as a pout formed on his face, “Y/N! Can you please play along? You know this is important for me, I have to pass my pirate audition!”

“Pirate audition?” You ask back, “Those exist?”

“Of course they do! How else would pirates become pirates?”

“I guess… ok I’m sorry, I’ll take this more seriously.”

A smile now showed on Elijah’ face, “Ok, from the beginning. Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

You smile, finding the entire thing childishly funny. Then the memory quickly becomes sour when you remember the scene of his head disconnected from the rest of his body. The feeling of having to throw up rapidly makes an appearance, but it stops before it’s too hard to control.

You close your eyes and try to leave the memory, forcing yourself to focus on your surroundings as you try to fall asleep.

—

“Look lively, topside now!”

You jerk your head up at the sound of a loud voice and push yourself up. You looked around for a few seconds before pushing yourself up completely and brushing any dirt that ended up on your clothes.

“Of course I wake up on the floor,” you mumble to yourself before heading to the ladder at the far end of the department, and climbing up to the deck.

“Hey,” you hear as soon as you get on the deck, “I meant to ask yesterday but it didn’t seem like the right time. Where’d you get your clothes from?”

Sturmhond walked towards you as he asked the question, seemingly waiting for you to show up.

“Where would you get yours,” you asked back as you started to walk away from him, not sure what he wanted. “Where’s Alina and Mal,” you ask before he could answer your rhetorical question.

“Haven’t came up yet. Why? Need the sun summoner for something?”

Of course he was weary of you, it’s not common for someone to genuinely help someone in this time period without wanting anything in return.

“It’s that rare to want to know how the well-being of someone who has previously helped you? Saints, that’s sad.”

Sturmhond snickered from behind you, “Yeah, pretty rare.”

You walked to a side railing, looking over it to watch the water sway beneath you. The ocean was always something that fascinated you; the fact that it makes up so much of the world yet very little is known about it.

Just like your very own power within you.

“Don’t touch that,” you heard from behind you. You quickly turned your head, the feeling of panic striking you, but relief flooded that feeling away when you saw that Sturmhond was talking to Mal and Alina; leaving you alone with the sea beneath your feet.

—

The sun set just as quickly as it raised. A few members of the ships crew, including its captain and Alina and Mal, embarked on a mission they had once the ship reached a rather mysterious looking island.

When they came back on the ship, it was announced that Alina received her second amplifier and the entire crew was able to watch as she attached it to her body.

Now everyone was asleep, except for you. Not being able to use your power and being stuck in an era that isn’t yours quickly made itself a reoccurring thought. What if you were never able to go home? You still had a family, still had other friends, you still wanted to save Elijah- but how? If you didn’t have your power then what.

Was there an amplifier you could use?

You momentarily stop thinking about these issues once you get to the deck of the ship, the stars in the sky immediately demanding for your attention. A memory of your mother telling you stories about the stars flood your mind.

You feel the soft breeze that always accompanies the ocean as you walk to the middle of the deck and sit down.

“Mom,” you whisper out, “the sea at night is just as you said.”

“Hey,” you hear from behind you, again. The same voice.

“Good evening,” you reply back, starting to get up as you turn towards him.

“It’s late out. Crews not allowed up here after sundown,” he walks towards you, offering you the jacket that was rested on his arm as he gets closer. You glance down at the jacket before looking back up at him, slightly taken off guard at how the moonlight seemed to perfectly light his face.

He’s definitely not bad looking.

“With all due respect, I’m not really apart of the crew,” you reply back, “I’m just here until we reach somewhere safe.” He stands for a few seconds, his hand still holding the jacket out to you.

Taking your words as a rejection, he pulls the hand holding his jacket back to him. He doesn’t say anything to you, he only walks to a side railing on the deck and looks up at the night sky. A comfortable silence rests between you two.

Assuming he wasn’t going to say anything else, you start to walk back to the ladder that led to the hammocks.

“Feel free to stay out, then.”

You stop mid step, mentally weighing the cons and pros of staying out here alone with a man who has made it clear that he does not trust you.

The sky is pretty anyways. You decide to use that as you reason to stay.

You walk towards the same side railing Sturmhond was leaning on, leaving a few inches between you two as you rest your weight on it.

“Why were you out here,” he asked, keeping his eyes straight down, watching the moons reflection of the waters surface.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh wow,” he chuckles while speaking, “you actually gave me a direct answer. Didn’t know you could do that.”

“And I regret doing so,” you say; more on the playful side however, indulging in some sarcastic remarks might be good for your sanity.

From your peripheral, you saw Sturmhond push himself off of the railing, you assumed he was going to walk back inside but he only did so to straighten his back.

“Even though you aren’t apart of my crew permanently, you still eat, sleep, and spend time on my ship. You’re still under my supervision, which means you’re in my crew,” he turns misled towards you, leaning on his side against the railing this time, “and I like to know my crew.”

Mirroring his body movement, you also turn yourself towards him. Maybe telling this stranger, who you’ll never meet again and who you don’t remember in any history books, a few things about you wouldn’t do you any harm. It might be good to make some friends for the mean time.

“Down for a few questions?”

“Alright, my name is Y/N.”

“Still no last name?”

“Still no last name.”

“Ok…,” he chuckled again. “If I can’t know your last name, then can I know how you met the sun summoner? Like I said, that’s not just some regular encounter. Why are you on my ship?”

“I want to go home,” you said; ignoring the first part of his question. “I got lost and I just want to go back.”

“Where’s your home?”

“Ravka.”

You heard a sound come from him, something akin to a laugh, “You’re from Ravka?”

“Yeah,” you said, a little confused as to why he asked again.

He turned his body away from you, looking off into the distance as the smell of sea water and the cool evening breeze took over your senses.

“What do you think about the prince,” he suddenly asks, still looking off into the distance.

The prince? Who was the prince at this time…

You tried to remember all the history books you read and cursed yourself for only really caring about the grisha queen- but then you remember a name that was commonly brought up alongside her and who was once king.

“The puppy prince?”

Sturmhond suddenly turned his head towards you, his expression mixed with surprise and annoyance.

Maybe he knew the prince…?

“Puppy prince?” He repeats, his tone unidentifiable.

You nod slowly, a little worried that you might’ve offended him, “I don’t know him personally and I don’t have an opinion on him, but I’ve heard people call him that.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his shoulder lowering as he rested his forearms on the railing; a sigh escaping his mouth.

He mumbles a few things under his breath that you were unable to catch on to.

“How’d you get away from home?”

“I,” you trailed off, not sure if you wanted to tell him that, “I’m trying to find a cure, for a friends sickness. He’s already in dire need of help, so I’d like to reach shore as soon as possible.”

He didn’t say anything. It was silent again; the sound of the waves and the breeze being the only audible thing at this time of day.

You push yourself off the railing, realizing how late it is; “Well, sturmhond, thank you for the company. I’ll be going back inside now.”

You began to walk away from him, looking up at the sky while doing so.

“Y/N,” Sturmhond says, causing you to stop walking before you could reach the ladder, “We’ll get you home. Promise.”

“Ok,” you respond with a small smile, not looking back at him, “I’ll keep you to it.”

—

“Come with us, it’s the fastest way to get you to shore.”

After your talk with Sturmhond on the deck, he’s been very persistent on updating you on how close you guys were to shore.

You were surprised that he seemed to care that much, about someone who wasn’t truly apart of his crew. You weren’t going to take that for granted though.

“When do you leave?”

“In an hours time, so pack quickly.”

“I-“ you began to say but he walked away before you could even finish, “…I didn’t even give you an answer yet.”

You sighed as you turned back to your hammock, that had nothing on it, since you had nothing with you. You decided to walk around the ship to make the hour go by quicker.

—

“Y/N!”

Alina, who you haven’t spoken too for some days, ran to you immediately at seeing you.

“Alina-“ she ran up to you quicker that you expected and pulled you into a massive bear hug, cutting your air circulation. “You’re coming with us?” She asked when she finally pulled away.

You nodded, “Don’t get my wrong, your shoe throwing is a very unique tactic but I don’t think that’ll affect the monsters in the fold that much.”

You froze at her words and just stared at her, dumbfounded.

You’re going into the fold?

“How’s it feel, ready to take on the fold?”

Mal asked while walking up to you two, specifically to Alina.

As Alina averted her attention for you to Mal, you took it as your chance to give them space. You still felt as if you shouldn’t be apart of any of their conversations since they’ve already had it without you; you didn’t want to mess up the timeline anymore than you assumed you already have.

Nervousness began to bubble in the pit of your stomach. In modern Ravka, there is no fold, you didn’t have to worry about any shadow monsters. You’re in the past though, you remind yourself. Of course your luck would lead you here.

“There you are, I was about to go looking for you,”to your right was Sturmhond who was currently walking towards you, “Excited?”

“Of course n-“ you stop yourself mid sentence. Yes, apart of you was upset that he was throwing you into the equivalent of hell, but he was also the reason why you’d reach Ravka sooner than most. So you didn’t really have any room to complain.

You inhale before restarting your sentence, “To get to Ravka? Yes. To travel through the Fold? No.”

He smirked at your words, “Aw don’t worry, we’ve got a saint with us- you two ready?” He asked Alina and Mal. They nodded, “Might want to hold on to something,” Sturmhond told you as he walked to the middle of his ship, where a lever was rested at.

“Prepare to decouple,” he yelled out. The twins, Tolya and Tamar jumped on the ship; surprising you as they seemed to have come from thin air. Sturmhond yelled out to someone on the other side of the ship before pulling the lever. Just on cue, Kovu, who Sturmhond yelled out to just a few moments ago, moved his arms in a precise motion, pushing air up and towards the sails.

You felt the part of the ship you were on began to lift into the air, you quickly grabbed on to the ledge and jerked your body back so you didn’t see the ground.

This is just like an airplane, you tell yourself in an attempt to slow down your rapidly increasing heartbeat. In front of you, Alina threw herself onto a bench; seemingly afraid. Mal entered your sight of vision as he came up to Alina trying to get her to get up.

You laughed at the view, not because you were making fun of her, but because of how common it is to fly in your time. You wonder how Alina would react to being on an actual airplane.

Still, even though your use to flying in the air, a creation like this-that you’ve studied in school before and is now on- it was fascinating. You slowly turn your body back towards the ledge, looking over it now and overseeing the view.

“This is amazing,” you meant to whisper out but it came out a lot louder than intended.

“Did you expect any less,” Sturmhond questioned as he stood next to you while leaning against the same ledge, “It’s like you haven’t even met me,” he joked. “Years and years of designs,” he continued, “and several dozen crashed prototypes.” He winced out the last part of his sentence, not the proudest at that fact, but it was expected.

You looked at him surprised, “You made this?” He nodded. “…you’re an inventor?” He nodded again. Of course he’s an inventor.

“I know,” he said with a smirk, “smart and handsome, gotta leave something for the rest of you all.”

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness; averting your gaze from him to watch the ground as you fly above it. You didn’t have a view like this on an airplane.

“Captain,” a crew member yelled out, “The Fold’s in sight.”

“Wonderful. Next stop,” he yelled so Alina and Mal could hear, “Destiny.”

—

It was all a blur, the time in the fold.

All you remember is Alina attempting to take down the Fold, then something happened which caused her to fail her attempt. Then suddenly it was all dark, and there were monsters, and gun shots, and screeches- it was horrific. Everything the history books said it was like.

And now it was dark again. You couldn’t see or feel, maybe you were dead. Then suddenly you hear voices.

“One, two, three,-“

And suddenly you saw light again.

Your body jerked up at the feeling of oxygen rushing into your lungs. Around you, you heard sighs of reliefs and thanks being given to the saints as someone aggressively patted your back and you coughed up the remaining water that was in your lungs.

You turned to look at the person patting your back and was met with someone completely unfamiliar, but attractive.

“Almost lost you there,” said the stranger as he wiped his mouth with the back of his palm.

“Who the hell are you-“ the sound of horns blaring and soldiers marching drained out your voice.

“You’ve crossed illegally onto Ravkan soil. Identify yourselves,” asked who you assume to be the commander of the group of soldiers as they came to a stop.

The blonde stranger next to you gave you another pat on the back before getting up from his current position on his knees, “I’ll handle this.”

“Have I really changed that much,” he asked as he jumped down from the wrecked ship, “I knows it’s been a number of years but people swear I remain boyishly handsome.”

You snort at his words. He may look unfamiliar but he definitely acts like someone you know.

Speaking of which, where is…

“It can’t be,” said the commander

“Yes it is,” replied the stranger as he took off his jacket.

“Moi tsarevich.”

As soon as the commander mumbled out those words, he and the rest of his troops immediately got down on one knee.

Tsarevich… prince…

“Alina,” you call out, “where’s Sturmhond?”

Alina looked back at you with widened eyes, as if she came to the same conclusion that you have.

Oh.

He was definitely someone you remembered in those history books.

[stray-kaz]

Little Lantsov : a Jesper Fahey x Lantsov!reader oneshot

Summary: Nikolai’s little sister trips headfirst for a rogue.

Index: Zaya is Russian for “female rabbit”. Nikolai essentially calls his little sister “bunny”.

You watched the two bound and seated criminals from the shadows, hidden from view by your brother’s broad shoulders and big boots. At least, you were hidden until Dreesen and the rest of his men exited the room and Nikolai stepped forward into the light, always at ease no matter where he found himself. You envied him that.

Two pairs of eyes raked over you, the warmer brown ones lingering on your face. He shifted on his seat, mouth twisting in frustration when he found he couldn’t actually move. He jerked his head towards you instead, mostly tuning out your brother’s prattle.

“Who’s the girl?” he asked. “Too pretty to be a pirate, isn’t she?”

You blushed and grinned at him in spite of the situation. Nikolai glanced over his shoulder at you, saw your grin and rolled his eyes.

“She is my sister” he said. “And it’s privateer, not pirate, thief.”

Dark raised eyebrows and a flashy smile.

“You were paying?” he retorted.

You snorted and Nikolai turned back to glower at you.

“Sniggering like a schoolgirl is no way to behave at a business meeting, zaya.”

You blinked at him, pushed away from the wall and gestured between him and the other two men.

“Is that what this is?” you asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise this is what a business meeting looked like, brother.”

The Zemeni man, your brother had told you his name was Jesper, swallowed another smile, while the fair skinned man, Kaz, watched you with the unmoving eyes of a snake about to strike.

“My baby sister needs some real life experience” Nikolai said heavily. “So here she is. Getting in the way, as usual.”

You fought the urge to poke out your tongue and, eyes on your brother, walked around behind Jesper’s chair. He craned his neck around to see you, tensing slightly when he felt your fingers brush across the cuffs biting into his wrists.

Kaz was looking stonily up towards Nikolai, sharp gaze roving his face. He indicated you with a brief toss of his head.

“Your baby sister is Ravka’s little tsaritsa?” he asked pointedly.

Nikolai froze where he stood, his eyes the only things moving as they roamed to find you bent behind Jesper. You were still as a statue there, and he was wincing as your fingertips pressed harder and harder into his wrists, threatening to dig through to his pulses. Kaz sighed.

“You people always underestimate me” he said, shaking his cuffs off and standing up. “Her face is everywhere in Ketterdam. The queen’s favoured only daughter. Jesper, you should really open your eyes more.”

Jesper frowned and shook his wrists a little. The movement brought you out of your stillness and you made quick work of the cuffs, inserting and twisting the tiny key Nikolai had given you as an extra precaution. You tossed it onto the floor and Jesper rose to his full height, turning to look down at you with a half smile.

“Thanks, little Lantsov” he said, tipping his hat to you with a wink.

You rolled your eyes and folded your arms. He looked you up and down, slow, and you felt the blush creep back into your cheeks.

“I’ve seen the posters, Kaz” he said, still looking at you. “But she’s much prettier in person.”

Nikolai scowled and Kaz rolled his eyes. Jesper wasn’t done.

“The royal artist really doesn’t do her justice” he continued, grinning widely. “Heard enough, privateer?”

Nikolai snorted, sounding remarkably similar to you.

“You have no idea” he replied, but there was a tiny smile under it all. “What do you want in exchange for keeping her secret? Anything in my power I will give.”

You glanced at him, a little shocked. You were not so sure it was wise to enter an unknown wager with Kaz Brekker, bastard of the Barrel. But Kaz merely shrugged.

“I just want out of this room and to never see Dreesen again. Don’t hurt me, I won’t hurt you. And by the way, Alina and her tracker are en route to Novyi Zem” he said calmly. 

He passed by Nikolai on his way to the door, the shouts of the Stadwatch echoing outside. The two men locked eyes and Kaz smiled slowly.

“You owe me a favour now, Sturmhond” he said.

Nikolai’s shoulders stiffened.

“What is it?” he demanded.

Kaz shrugged, his gaze flicking back to Jesper, who was enjoying himself making you blush again and again.

“I haven’t made up my mind on that yet” he murmured. “You’ll be the first to know when I do. Jesper! Stop flirting and come with me. We have names to clear.”

Jesper gently gripped your hand and raised it to his lips, brushing a soft kiss across the back of it. You met his gaze as he smiled at you.

“Lovely to make your acquaintance, little Lantsov” he said quietly. “May we meet again.”

You stared at his back as he loped after Kaz into the hallway, heat covering the back of your hand. You didn’t notice your brother had moved until he draped an arm over your shoulders.

“You’ve got a mind of your own, zaya, and well I know it. But that man will break your heart if you put it in his hands.”

You sighed and leaned your head against him, not saying a word.

Weeks later, you had just finished dressing for your brother’s Post War Ball, when there was a knock on your bedroom door. You crossed the room to unlock it, swinging it open to reveal Jesper Fahey on the other side. He was dressed in head to toe black and red tartan, other than the bright purple ribbon on his hat. He smiled as he appraised you, warm eyes running up and down your body.

“We match” he said, gesturing at your dress.

You looked down to notice your gown was the exact shade of purple as his hat ribbon. You glanced up at his face again to see him grinning.

“My brother told you what I was wearing, didn’t he?” you asked, unsuccessfully hiding your own smile.

Jesper nodded and stepped forward out of the doorway. You toyed with your hair and smoothed your palms down your stomach, chest hitching a little as he came closer.

“Nikolai told me you helped save his life” you said, slightly breathless and voice soft. “Thank you, Jes -”

You didn’t get all the words out before he was kissing you, warm and unexpected, heat rising in your cheeks. Jesper pulled away just a hair’s breadth.

“You’re welcome, little Lantsov” he breathed against your lips. “If you lose any more family members, you’ll be all alone on that throne.”

All you had to do was tilt your head the slightest and your mouth grazed his again, your noses bumping, chest rising and falling against his. He slid his hands down your back, searching for purchase on the slip of your gown. Your heart hammered; you were sure he could feel it.

“Did you want to dance?” Jesper asked suddenly, breaking away and staring down at you with wide eyes, his hat now askew.

You nodded, biting your bottom lip.

“Yes, why?”

He took your hand and pulled you to the still open door; you realised then that anyone could have walked past and seen you in a compromising position with a virtual stranger.

“Then we should go to the ball” he told you, glancing over his shoulder with a wink. “Or we’ll end up doing something else less upright and upstanding.”

He grinned as your face flooded with colour.

“You look a little flushed, love” he teased warmly. “Come on.”

You closed your eyes and followed him, your hand warm in his and somehow confident he would not lead you astray.

Nikolai watched you dance with Jesper from the royal dais at the top end of the ballroom, a faint smile ghosting his lips. Maybe he’d been wrong about the Crow, but whether or not he was, you had a mind of your own and would never be told. He watched Jesper spin you, the tips of your fingers touching his and then your chests colliding as he pulled you back in, the two of you making a striking pair in bold colours.

Tatiana pursed her lips in disdain as she, too, watched her only daughter, her youngest child, dancing with a thug. He was wearing guns at his hips, for goodness’ sake. He couldn’t even take them off for a ball? And that Zemeni’s hands were getting too close to private places on her daughter’s body.

Nikolai could feel his mother’s withering stare on the side of his face before she even started to speak. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

“Just say it, Mother” he said, repressing a groan. “I know you have been watching little zaya dance with Jesper.”

“Your sister should not be dancing with that man. He is a thief, a vagabond.”

Nikolai rolled his eyes.

“Mother, that vagabond helped win the battle. He helped save my life, he and the other Crows. He has earned a dance with your daughter.”

Tatiana pinned him with a shrewd look.

“Look at him, sobachka. He wants more than a dance with her. Go and warn him off.”

Nikolai stood with a quiet groan, his injuries still causing him pain whenever he moved. He stepped off the dais with the aid of a cane and made his way across the dance floor to reach his sister and her dance partner.

Jesper saw him coming first and spun you to face him, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and swaying you side to side.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked, gazing over your head to the queen perched on the dais.

Nikolai leaned on the cane and nodded, twisting his face purposefully into a rictus of fury. You watched with mild intrigue as he pretended to chastise you, pulling all the right faces while he asked entirely unrelated questions.

“Has there been any word from Inej?” he asked, glaring at Jesper.

Jesper struggled to keep a straight face as he answered.

“Not yet” he replied. “But she only recently left, so it’s not surprising, really.”

Nikolai nodded, flicking his glower to you and back again.

“And how is Kaz?” he asked. “Is he absolutely insufferable without her?”

Jesper shrugged, propping his chin down on your head.

“He’s less fun than usual, but that isn’t saying much. He’s not fun to begin with.”

Nikolai nodded slowly.

“What are your intentions with my sister?”

Jesper hid his grin in the side of your neck, pressing a kiss to your skin before he answered.

“Entirely dishonourable, your highness.”

Nikolai snorted and started to turn away.

“Just no illegitimate babies, you hear me?” he said firmly. “One’s enough, Fahey.”

You stared up at your older brother with widened eyes; had he really just released his biggest secret to a thief? But when you looked back up at Jesper, his expression was calm and he dropped you a wink.

“Don’t worry, little Lantsov” he murmured to you. “I won’t be responsible for you losing another one of your brothers. My condolences for Vasily, by the way. I’m sorry for your loss.”

You snorted.

“You can be sorry” you told him. “I’m not. He was a pig, that brother. Truly awful. Always beating on me and threatening to reveal Nikolai’s real parentage. We only ever had each other.”

Jesper spun you around to face him and gaped at you, shocked.

“Your brother beat you?” he demanded, brown eyes furious.

You waved it off.

“He’s dead now” you said carelessly. “I don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Jesper cupped your face in his hands, leaned down and pressed his lips to yours gently, carefully. When he stopped and stood back, the breath was caught in your throat and your eyelashes were fluttering. He smiled at you, but the smile had a tinge of sadness to it.

“I’m sorry I won’t be sticking around” he said quietly. “I wish I was.”

You stood and gazed at one another in the middle of the dance floor, others moving and parting around you, staring, wondering. 

At last, you shrugged, a tiny smile creeping onto your lips.

“Well, we still have tonight.”

Jesper’s smile now mirrored yours.

“You’re certain of that, little Lantsov?”

You smacked his chest and he clutched at his heart, feigning a mortal wound.

“Quit calling me that” you muttered, glowering slightly. “I am not a child.”

Jesper smiled slowly at you and a different sort of warmth bloomed in your chest, working its way down.

“No, you are not” he murmured. 

You reached for his hands and tugged your fingers in between his. He watched your eyes with an intensity you had never known before. You inhaled and spoke.

“Shall we go and be a little less upright and upstanding?”

No pressure tag: @writingmysanity​

[hiraeth-witch-11]

The Greed of Men Part 1

Warnings: none really, some threats

Word Count: 1300ish

“Alina, he’s at least 3 times your age! I know he still looks young and I know he’s handsome, but you’re a teenager. No man his age has pure intentions if he’s courting a woman as young as you!”

“You don’t know him, Katya. I’ve been here for months and-”

“Months that none of your letters were sent to me or Mal? Where you didn’t get any of ours? Doesn’t that seem suspicious to you?”

“Sometimes things get lost in the post, it happens.”

“I sent you dozens of letters from every city and town and outpost I visited. One from Os Alta just 4 days ago. Alya, please, just look at this from another perspective. You have something he wants, you’re powerful, he needs you. Wouldn’t it be to his benefit to keep you isolated and attached?”

Alina hesitates, torn between her feelings for the Darkling and her trust of your judgment. “What can I do to convince you he isn’t what you think?”

“If he lets me stay here, with you. At least until I’m satisfied that he’s not going to hurt you,” you say evenly.

“I think that can be done.” Alina looks relieved. “I’ll ask him.”

You shake your head. “We’ll ask him, together. I might as well introduce myself after sneaking into his palace.”

“I’m still amazed that you did that, Kat. I knew you were sneaky, but getting past at least a dozen guards? How did you manage that?”

“The trick is to make sure they can’t see you,” you tease and she rolls her eyes.

“I’ll take you to him, he’s usually in the war room around this time of night,” Alina says, tugging her blue kefta over her plain clothes.

You raise your eyebrow at her.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s only a little past dinner, it’s not that late. Sometimes I can’t sleep and we talk,” she insists.

“Right, talk,” you say sarcastically. Alina sticks her tongue out at you and you smile.

She opens the door to her rooms and greets the oprichniki stationed outside it. You watch them carefully as Alina introduces you.

“This is Katarina, my sister, she and I are going to go speak with the General.”

You follow Alina past them. The oprichniki are eyeing you in surprise. You’d snuck in through the window and they were probably concerned they were going to get an earful from the Darkling if he realized you got it without them noticing.

You are unsurprised that Alina’s suite is so close to the Darkling’s rooms. Saints, you would need to keep a close eye on her.

The pretentiously large doors are already cracked open, as if he was expecting her. Alina knocks anyway. It’s probably best to not surprise the man.

“Come in, Alina,” a beautifully dark voice says.

Alina hesitates. “I brought someone I’d like you to meet. Is now a good time?”

“Oh?” He asks, sounding surprised. “Bring them in.”

The two of you step into his ‘war’ room, as Alina called it. As you focus on the beautiful man in front of you, you can’t blame Alina for being so entranced. He’s tall, with strikingly dark eyes and a thick shock of black hair meticulously combed to the side. You can see he’s trying to present a welcoming face, but you notice the subtle clench of his jaw as he takes his first look at you.

“Katya, this is General Kirigan. General, this is Katerina, my older sister.” Alina’s watching the two of you nervously as you assess each other.

“I didn’t know you had a sister, Ms. Starkov,” the Darkling says.

“We aren’t blood, but we grew up together,” you say firmly. There was a little more to it than that. You’d practically chosen Alina and Mal as your family when they showed up at the orphanage. They were several years younger than you, but you watched over them even when you aged out.

“I see. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am, however, curious as to how you entered the Little Palace without being announced.”

“Through the window,” you state blandly, watching his face carefully.

“And how did you get past the guards?” He raises an eyebrow slightly, lips still turned up in a fake, gentle smile.

“I’ll answer you if you tell me what happened to Alina’s letters.” You tilt your head slightly in challenge. 

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” He furrows his brow in feigned confusion. Saints, you don’t know how Alina fell for this. Even without your additional years of practice in observing people, she should’ve still been more wary of men in power. 

“Alina, do you think I could have a moment alone with the General?” You let your eyes leave the General for a moment to look at Alina.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Kat,” Alina says, trying to read the expression on your face.

“It’s alright, Alina. Close the door behind you, if you will.” The General nods towards the door and Alina leaves, throwing a nervous look back at you as she shuts the door with a thud. You can imagine how stressed she must be right now.

“You have the floor, Ms. Starkov. Tell me why I shouldn’t have you arrested for trespassing.” The General has dropped some of the pretense he had carried on with for Alina’s sake.

“Aside from the fact that it would piss Alina off?” You laugh softly at his posturing. You had spent too many years honing your skill for him to fool you the way he fooled Alina. “I want to stay with Alina for the foreseeable future.”

“And why would I allow that?” He asks, taking a step closer to you.

“Because, while I’m certain our reasons are different, we both want to keep Alina safe. I’ve been hearing rumors all over Ravka about Soldat Sol. Many of them would like to sacrifice her to the fold.”

“I would never let that happen,” the Darkling states evenly, but you notice the room darken ever so slightly.

“I snuck into your palace, Darkling. If I can do it, others certainly can.”

“Yes, you still haven’t explained yourself.”

“I will.” You had decided before breaking into the Little Palace that you would come clean about your summoning. For Alina’s sake. She was too deep in a world she had no prior knowledge of.  One of your biggest regrets was straying too far from the First Army camp and into town that week. You came back to find Alina gone and Mal rambling about the bright light and the Darkling. You would do anything to keep your family safe. “But first, your word that I will stay with Alina.”

“Why would I give you my word when you have not shared anything with me yet?”

“Because it will be something you want to hear. Get a heartrender if you think I’m lying,

or better yet, you can throw me in the dungeon if it isn’t worth your time.” You’re a little bit desperate in your bargaining, but you know you would be able to break out of a jail cell if the time came. You’d done it a half dozen times before.

“Alright, Ms. Starkov. You have my word that I will not separate you from your sister.”

“And you won’t knowingly or willingly allow us to be separated,” you insist.

“And that I will not knowingly or willingly allow your separation.”

You’re testing his patience, you know that, but you’re nervous. You’ve never willingly shown anyone before and this is the General is the leader of the Second Army. You really do go big or go home.

You hold out a hand, palm up, and call a swirling mass of shadows to you. Big enough to be unmistakable, small enough to fit above your hand.

The General looks at you in surprise, subtle, but there in the minute widening of his eyes, the lift of his brow. Surprise shifts into something you are all too familiar with. The greed of men.

Part 2

[inthegoodbooks]

shadow and bone (review)

So, according to StoryGraph, I have already read this book before… in 2016… that probably tells you all you need to know about what I thought about this book.

I enjoyed this book. Don’t get me wrong, the book is not bad. It is very expositional and reads very YA… but then again, that is exactly what it is. And I don’t hate it.

In this book, we are introduced to Alina, a Grisha (magic user, basically, although the book does a pretty bad job of describing this to you) who discovers her powers very late. And what a power she has: Alina is a Sun Summoner and the seemingly omnipotent Darkling plans to use her to change the world.

I found Alina quite annoying tbh. But only in the ways I often find YA protagonists annoying… She’s clearly beautiful, but she “doesn’t realise it.” She’s a plain Jane. And it gets on my tits. She also sticks out her tongue at least three times in this book and I just refuse to believe that anyone does that over the age of 3. Just me? Very much gave me the ick, regardless.

Another YA trope in Alina which irritated me was her suggested love interests changing every five minutes. It made rooting for Alina quite difficult and, by the end, I no longer cared whether she found Mal again or not.

On the topic of tropes, boy are the men in this book bloody awful. The king, the creepy priest, the obviously evil Darkling (I mean, come on, he’s called the DARKLING ffs.), even the bloody trainer! Suggestive lines such as, “You don’t want to attract too much attention from the King.” and, “Lock the door…” made a lot of the plot twists predictable, dry and just a lil obvious. Not that we don’t need more stories about men abusing their power - that’s always going to be relevant and especially important in YA circles - but I just wish it was a little more subtle.

Speaking of subtly - did you know Alina had a scar on her right palm? Because she tells us more than five times in a very short book. All the build up with this and the reason behind it is because she didn’t put down some pottery when she hugged Mal once? Are you joking? This was such a lacklustre climax that it should’ve been called a clilow.

The ending of this book also gave me proper Harry Potter vibes. Not that I want to credit she-who-must-not-be-named with anything more than being an awful transphobe HOWEVER, there’s something very Voldemort about ‘mercy was something the Darkling would never understand.’ A little close to the bone of the only kind of magic Voldemort can’t understand being love. Just me? Idk. It did make Alina sparing the stag make sense though, otherwise that was a bloody ridiculous decision which was OBVIOUSLY going to result in the deaths of lots of people.

And it goes without saying that the Darkling isn’t dead, right? Suppose I’ve got to read book 2 to find out…

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- none😁

A/N- First post of the year, hoping this fic doesn't die. Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @nadeleine123n @marauders-wife

Ch-31 ~Denial of the cause~

Ravka in summer was at its most lovely, its fields thick with gold and green, the air balmy and sweet with the scent of warm hay. Despite having to tag along in endless processions, Anaya had one massive advantage to her, she didn't need to be in front of the people. She rode her horse to a near corner of Alina's coach and watched her suffer in every town, but the Prince never seemed to get tired of the useless conversations and charming every person.

........................................................................

The next day, the first pilgrims appeared. They looked like any other townspeople, waiting by the road to see the royal procession roll past, but they wore armbands and carried banners emblazoned with a rising sun. Dirty from long days of travel, they hefted satchels and sacks stuffed with their few belongings, and when they caught sight of Alina in her blue kefta, the stag’s collar around her neck, they swarmed toward her horse, murmuring Sankta, Sankta, and trying to grab my sleeve or my hem. Sometimes they fell to their knees, and she had to be careful or risk her horse trampling one of them.

As they pushed deeper into Ravka’s interior, the crowds grew. They came from every direction, from cities, towns, and ports. They clustered in village squares and by the side of the Vy, men and women, old and young, some on foot, some astride donkeys or crowded into haycarts. Wherever we went, they cried out to me.

The pilgrims had come not just to see the Sun Summoner but to follow her. They attached themselves to the royal processional, and their ragged band swelled with every passing day. They trailed them from town to town, camping in fallow fields, holding dawn vigils to pray for Alina's safety and the salvation of Ravka. They were close to outnumbering Nikolai’s soldiers.

“This is the Apparat’s doing,” Alina complained to Tamar and Anaya one night at dinner.

They were lodged at a roadhouse for the evening. Through the windows they could see the lights of the pilgrims’ cookfires, hear them singing peasant songs.

“These people should be home, working their fields and caring for their children, not following some false Saint.”

Tamar pushed a piece of overcooked potato around on her plate and said, “My mother told me that Grisha power is a divine gift.”

“And you believed her?”

“I don’t have a better explanation.”

 “Tamar, we don’t have a divine gift. Grisha power is just something you’re born with, like having big feet or a good singing voice.” Alina responded

"Being a Grisha is like a shiny stone, the more you polish it, the more it will gleam. And if you don't, it will dull up and become worthless" Anaya's sudden voice made both of their attention turn to her.

"That's right" Tamar agreed. “The Shu believe that it’s something physical, buried in your heart or your spleen, something that can be isolated and dissected.” She glanced out the window to the pilgrims’ camp. “I don’t think those people would agree.”

“Please don’t tell me you think I’m a Saint.”

“It doesn’t matter what you are. It matters what you can do.” Anaya said

“Anaya-” 

“Those people think you can save Ravka,” Tamar added. “Obviously you do, too, or you wouldn’t be going to Os Alta.”

“I’m going to Os Alta to rebuild the Second Army.”

“And find the third amplifier?”

Alina nearly dropped her fork at the words “Keep your voice down,” she sputtered.

“We saw the Istorii Sankt’ya.”

"They told you aswell?" Alina asked, looking at Anaya

"They, didn't, I...heard" She responded, wavering her arm around

 “Who else knows?” Alina asked

“We’re not going to tell anyone, Alina. We know what’s at risk.” Tamar’s glass had left a damp circle on the table. She traced it with her finger and said, “You know, some people believe that all the first Saints were Grisha.”

 “Which people?” Alina frowned

Tamar shrugged. “Enough that their leaders were excommunicated. Some were even burned at the stake.”

“I’ve never heard that.”

“It was a long time ago. I don’t understand why that idea makes people so angry. Even if the Saints were Grisha, that doesn’t make what they did any less miraculous.”

“I don’t want to be a Saint, Tamar" she squirmed in her chair ."I’m not trying to save the world. I just want to find a way to defeat the Darkling.”

“Rebuild the Second Army. Defeat the Darkling. Destroy the Fold. Free Ravka. Call it what you like, but that all sounds suspiciously like saving the world.”.

“Mal is going to ask you and Tolya to be members of my personal guard.”

Tamar’s face broke into a beautiful grin. “Really?”

“You’re practically doing the job now, anyway. But if you’re going to be guarding me morning and night, you need to promise me something.”

“Anything,” she said, beaming.

“No more talk of Saints.”

"Looks like everyone's getting a job" Anaya spoke in a less serious tone

"Would you like one?" Tamar asked

"No, I'm entirely grateful to be left alone with my notebook" she slightly grinned a she raised her arms in defeat

"What do you even write in that anyways?" Alina asked, smiling

"Eh, just poems"

"Poems? Then you'd get along with Tolya really well" Tamar grinned

"I am, actually. Better than I am with either of you" Anaya responded with a small smile

[lilisouless]

Continuation of this https://www.tumblr.com/lilisouless/723774459871444992/the-men-on-the-hospital-all-of-them-with-broken

Zoya: no wonder you wanted to make this a just boys event

Nina: yes, women are too sensible and collected for this stuff, we wouldn’t do anything so reckless

Matthias: excuse me? Don’t you remember…

Matthias: don’t do it! …

Matthias: nonono, a flashback isn’t enough, Wylan: background music for the compilation

Wylan: “plays infernal galop”

Matthias: don’t do it!

Inej tied on chains : a Ghafa doesn’t need a key (falls on a water tube)

…

Nina: Free kruge for everyone!

Kaz: Bad Nina! bad Nina!

…

Aditi : i can totally shoot with my feet and my eyes covered

Jesper : mommy yes!

Colm: aditi no!

…

Zoya: the dragon will take the entire army!

Nikolai: Zoya,no!

…

Alina: self sacrifice! Self sacrifice!

Mal: Alina,no!

…

Nadia and Tamar on a cart about to jump on the roof to see if it flies this time

Tolya: girls,no!

…

Leoni walking on a suspiciously dark and dangerous alley to save a kitten

Adrik: Leoni,no!

…

Marya carrying a riffle: I’ll get that bastard, i don’t care how good the security in prision is

Wylan: mommy no!

Jesper: mommy yes!

…

Genya pouring a bunch of laxatives on a cup: i don’t have to assist to that boring reunion if i am sick

David: Genya please no

…

Nina: but DID we die?

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

My DiaLovers OC - Alina

so i haven’t posted about Alina much because she’s my first OC and i was kinda nervous but i’ve been writing her origin story and my amazing friends in my discord server have been so encouraging, so i feel like i should share her with the world. 

Content warnings for mentions of Kou-typical canon themes (CSA, drug use, prostitution etc).

Alina was a child back in Romania when the Mukami’s were in the orphanage. She was a year older than Kou, and was one of the children seen as so beautiful they were sold off as merchandise for aristocrats to make money. Like Kou, she was given nicer clothes and food, and met Kou through this. They were uneducated, couldn’t read/write, and only knew how to get dirty money.

Her and Kou gradually got closer and closer, and Alina was the person who introduced Kou to aurolac (if you haven’t seen my post about aurolac, see: here) and cigarettes. They had a somewhat sexual relationship due to their shared trauma, however, Alina was seen as a bad influence by Ruki and Yuma, so they often tried to stop Kou seeing Alina. Then, the Mukami brothers “died”, and Kou and Alina were pulled apart. 

Following the themes in Lost Eden, Alina - as with many of the Romanians who died in the revolution - became a ghoul following death by accidental aurolac overdose, converted by Karlheinz for his “experiment”. She was raised by the ghouls and taught (spoken) Japanese, but continued living in poorer regions of Rotigenberg. She was there when Kino entered the picture and prompted an uprising and dislikes him, but the one good thing Kino did was introduce her to Kou again, who she then seeks out. 

You can read about Kou and Alina’s past and re-union more in this fanfic (still have one more chapter left). 

This is the only picture I have of Alina from picrew which isn’t art made by my friends. Picrew doesn’t let you add the ghoul’s eyes (black sclera and gold pupils) so just uh. use your imagination. 

She's a vulnerable narcissist. On the outside she's very sarcastic and bold, and speaks vulgarly with no filter. But she can also be harsh, outwardly a cunt, easily triggered (aka angered), does things she knows will make people hate her because it's the only way of controlling how people see her. She wants people to be scared of her and that was the only way to survive as a girl in the orphanage. Can't hate someone who everyone already hates, right? That kind of thing. She's willing to do things like ruin families for money, violence, being mean etc, because it's the only way to survive in her mind. She has the same give-and-take mindset as Kou, and is quick to fire up and cool down like him. 

On the inside however, she's very soft at heart and cares a huge amount, which is her downfall in some cases. She smokes a lot, Parliament 100s specifically but she's not fussy, and takes pretty much any drugs she can afford or find, though cocaine is her favorite. However, she absolutely cannot stand other people seeing her weak and tends to self-isolate if something is wrong. She also has a complex relationship with religion – Romania was (and still is) a very catholic country and back in the orphanages. Part of her believes in God, but God must hate her; nonetheless, she keeps a rosary from back then hidden. 

Even though she's not mean on purpose to people she doesn't have a grudge against, she can come across as blunt or harsh. Weak points include the fact her spoken Japanese isn't Amazing, and the fact she can't read/write which she can be embarrassed by. Since she grew up in poverty, things like TV and films are pretty foreign to her, though she's familiar with Kou's work. She doesn't consider anything taboo or TMI, and dislikes Ruki and Yuma and will talk shit about them to people. 

People close to her in a romantic sense risk codependency because she has attachment issues and latches onto people. That's mainly because of her trauma with men, so she needs to have control over the men in her life. Unfamiliar men getting too close sends her into fight or flight mode. However, her female friends are everything (especially Tsumiki check out my friend’s OC, our OC’s are besties lol) because it's someone who likes her despite everything, and she can be quite protective of female friends. She does clash with rich people but can form attachments too. 

She's also good with kids, surprisingly. Even though she'd never have kids herself and would immediately have an abortion if she got pregnant, she's only like that because she knows she'd inadvertently traumatize her kid. She wouldn't want the responsibility of a kid and wouldn't be willing to give up drugs and cigarettes. But as a kid she was abandoned by her parents and left to her own devices and look where that got her. The very few ghouls in her village who see her as more than just a drug addicted whore sometimes let her babysit their kids when they're out. Unfortunately, the majority of her village see her in a negative light, which she is also fine because she knows she’s at fault. 

uuuuh my ask box is open if anyone is interested more. thank u for ur time invested in my silly little OC. 

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

“I’ll kill him without leaving a trace. Just say the word..”

what. the. fuck?

you’re shocked, in disbelief, horrified, stunned—is jungkook telling the truth? you know your sweet boyfriend has a habit of making threats but you do too. when you’re angry at your phone, you threaten to break it but do you? of course not. maybe that’s what jungkook is telling you. maybe he’s telling you that he has urges and that he wants to kill nara’s aunt?

you find it hard to believe that your boyfriend, your sweetheart, your baby would kill someone or anyone for that matter. “jeon jungkook” you say in a scolding manner. “don’t talk like that and don’t ever say that again”

you’re looking jungkook directly in the eye, searching for any truth signs of truth in his doe eyes and you wish you didn’t do that because his face says it all. he is being truthful, he HAS killed someone. you slowly begin to back away from jungkook, a different fear written on your face. why are the men you date always crazy?! why can’t you just find a normal person who loves you?

“y-you actually k-killed someone? how…how could you—why would you do that? you gonna kill me too if i leave? is that why you don’t want me to go?” when jungkook tries to get closer to you to show that he doesn’t mean any harm, you snatch your hand away and say “don’t touch me. get away from me, right now. the fact that you think this is normal is insane. you need help, jungkook. you have a CHILD, are you crazy?”

“does eunwoo and alina know? i bet they do. you tell them everything” you grab your bag from off the floor and tell jungkook to move out of your way. you’re not going to be date a fucking killer, is he insane? he hid this on purpose because he knew you would leave if he told you the truth.

nara was right, you would never love the real him.

~🫧

“E-Eunwoo knows his wife doesn’t and I know that you’re going to leave me and I won’t stop you this time but…” jungkooks got angry tears in his eyes.

He knew the consequences of his actions. He knew the consequence of telling you the truth about him, but he still did, and he doesn’t really regret that choice because you have to know the truth about him no matter what.

“I am a flawed person and I always knew that you were going to leave if I told you this, but I won’t hold you back because I truly love you and if you cannot be with me? That’s OK.” He cries out, “since you came into my life it has been amazing and your memories are enough for me to live my entire life without any regrets.” Jungkook confesses.

“She told me you were never going to love the real me, but I guess I was delusional enough to think that you would.” He is not even looking at your face anymore.

“I don’t regret killing that bitch. I will never regret killing her.” Jungkook inhales. “Yn I love you! I wanted you to be with me… but.. I can accept every single flaw of yours but you can never accept me” he’s sitting on the floor of his bedroom with teary eyes.

“Just go.”

“because you don’t have it in you to accept someone who loves you, yes, I killed, but I did it to protect my mother’s heart! Why was she trying to ruin a perfect home? I DON’T REGRET IT BUT YOU’RE FRUSTRATING ME TO END! YOU STAYED WITH THAT BASTARD BUT IT’S HARD FOR YOU TO BE WITH ME? YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK FOR THAT PSYCHO NARA BUT YOU CANNOT ACCEPT ME?!”

[livvyofthelake]

fuckass book u say… what goes on…

hii abby i don’t even think you’ve been here to know what book i’m even talking about so i’m imagining you seeing that vague ass post and being like hm wonder what book beth read… only for me to tell you it was just call me by your name, known movie nobody on tumblr likes other than me <3 and i understand that no one here likes timmy due to the overexposure or whatever but you’re all really missing out because he really is that good. sorry i know this is the hates popular opinions website but sometimes an opinion is popular because it’s just right idk man….

ANYWAY. so we loved the book… well ok loved is a strong word. we had a fun yet tense time with the book… as we all know i like the movie a lot (clearly enough to put it in the timeless video twice never forget… and i stand by it i’d do it again and more) anyway so i am a big supporter of not getting to have real concrete opinions on things you haven’t seen/read/heard whatever. so my ass READ the text!!!! and i’m going to get into the adaptation process with helena’s ask later which none of you have seen but like. well it’s in my inbox and i’m going to talk so much about it i <3 discussing the adaptation process! i digress. the book was really good elio is SUCH a fucking freak to read about i adored him… he is literally like if nick carroway was alina starkov. he is utterly insufferable and also obsessed with that man. but in a way that is so teenage girl bipolar… the entire beginning he’s like UGH oliver is the WORST man on planet earth and he HATES me and i HATE him and somehow i’m still HORNY about it but he’s AWFUL and MEAN. and then he’s like oh wait actually i realized he’s just shy lol omg he’s just like meeeeeee fr!!!! it was crazy. And he really had me there for a minute i was like damn oliver sounds like he sucks remind me why this is a love story?…. i was like andré what are we doing… of course ultimately what he was doing was taking the reader into the character’s mind so we could experience the worst of what elio felt as well as the best. which was crazyyyyy you had to be there!! not that i’m recommending this book. well maybe i am. idk it’s hard to say. abby you’d probably like it actually i think you’d respect elio’s ever present horniness and loser energy about it. that was meant to sound friendly and loving i didn’t mean to insinuate that you’re a horny loser… but well i mean. um love you 😁🩷

i think overall i liked the writing and the only major things against it are that well. andré is still a man and as we know i rarely fuck with male authors. feels like every time i give a man a chance he lets me down and frankly. it happened again :/ must every fictional character going through a sexuality crisis get misogynistic with it? to be fair it wasn’t THAT bad i just didn’t like what he was doing with the female characters. it felt very like. you know how men just don’t see women as human beings? yeah. which is crazy because i looked it up and andré aciman has a wife. girl you HAVE to leave him i’m sorry but you need to there’s no way he’s the best you could do dear god… i understand that an author making certain characters less in a narrative doesn’t necessarily reflect how they feel about an entire group of people in real life. but i mean. i fear i just have very little faith in men. ALSO he wrote a sequel to this book. which first of all, call me by your name was published in 2007. and it’s sequel wasn’t even planned to be written until 2018. you’ll note that the film came out in 2017. capitalist ass…. anyway i read the plot summary of the sequel and it gave very Hates Women so. i’m sticking with what i feel. it also gave fanfiction a little ngl. it also made me hate elio’s dad more than i already did, which has always been a fair amount. but we mustn’t get into all that we don’t have the time. btw you’re not supposed to hate elio’s dad he’s supposed to be the jennifer garner love simon of this story. but i don’t like him and i never have even in the movie… but i do like him a bit more in the movie i’m mostly ambivalent about him in there but in the book i really didn’t care for him much. it’s not really hate so much as just dislike. but it’s enough to be worth noting!!

but i think the strongest thing about the book that really made it good was that it wasn’t so much a “love story” as it was one character’s reflection on intimacy in his life. a narrative being a Romance sort of posits that there are two characters of equal importance, but this is really just elio’s narrative and oliver exists only as an extension of elio. especially when you consider that the core part of their dynamic is that they’re so similar the edges between them blur. in a way you could read it entirely as a story about self respect and self love

but i digress. very jumbled ass post but what do you want from me you sent me a vague statement/question…..

[sublimepenguinpeach-blog]

I need a Nikolai Lantsov x reader enemies to lovers fanfic or fanfics. Request: Reader is friends with Alina and they both meet Nikolai Lantsov asking for his assistance in finding the seawhip. The reader automatically dislikes him as soon as she meets him however she finds him irritatingly attractive. He is completely smitten with her but she rejects all his advantages because she doesn’t trust men after being sexually harassed by men who she thinks are like him. She meets Toyloa and they flirt which leads to an intense flirting session which makes Nikolai mad with jealousy because he loves her. A love confession and a kiss happens when he pulls her to his chambers. The reader is 5’2 preferably with long brown hair, brown eyes and is extremely sarcastic, blunt/extremely honest, has an answer to almost everything, and is a bit socially awkward due to the fact that she has high functioning autism. She has many quirks that she tries to avoid showing because she is afraid she will be treated differently since these quirks are associated with autism however unluckily for her, he picks up on them and it is one of the big things that loves about her because she’s not like everyone else.

[ticiie]

week 1: the first time

prompt from the off-season winter sport fandom challange

characters: Marco Odermatt, Gino Odermatt (mentioned), Paddy Kälin

lenght: 667 words

author's note: as happy as I honestly am about the revival of the osws-prompts, I had a hard time coming up with something for week one. I had to bend and break the prompt in order to find the minimum ammount of inspiration and this is the result that has me apologizing already. Let's hope week 2 turns out easier and therefor better 🤞🏼

The friendly lady that had accompanied Marco through the highly confusing insides of the studio gave him a sign to walk through the corridor. The audience was pretty huge, a lot bigger than the last time he had been here. Marco gave them an awkward wave that only seemed to fire them up. Paddy, the host of tonight’s broadcast, just shrugged. He tried to say something but Marco couldn’t hear a word through the applause. Paddy pointed him to the table and Marco gladly took a seat. He had spotted his sister and one of his best mates sitting in the front row, Alina gave him a secret thumbs up and Marco tried not to laugh at her too much. The crowd eventually calmed down again so Paddy got to fulfil his job as anchor-man.

“Welcome back, thanks for taking your time!”

“Thanks for having me.”

The medals of the world championship were lying at the edge od the round table, close to the three crystal globes Marco had won this season. Paddy didn’t hesitate to use them as a hook to the interview:

“Let me summaries some statistics of your season: Two-time world champion, three-time globe winner, one of them being the overall globe, your second I may add, most points won in a single season on men’s side which got you tearing down a 23 year old record, and since yesterday: national champion in giant slalom. Congratulations.”

“Thank you very much.”

“It sounds a bit unbelievable but this is the first time you’ve won that title! Does it mean as much to you as the other victories?”

“Well, it’s certainly a great feeling to have it secured as well, especially since I can’t compete at the nationals every season, so it’s nice how it worked out this year alongside everything else. But it’s not comparable to winning Adelboden for example. It’s a bit more down to earth, less hectic.” Laughs came through the audience, Marco felt his shoulders relax. After that, the rest of the interview went by smoothly. At one point, Alina gestured Marco to sit up straighter and Marco had to bite his tongue in order not to burst into laughter. As they reached the end of Marco’s screen time, Paddy brought up the topic of vacations and time away from training. Marco chuckled. “It’s really not as much as people might think. I’ve got some more appointments and testing sessions scheduled and I’ll try to get a few weeks off before the first training camp starts again in June.”

“How does an athlete like you spend his vacation? Are you allowing yourself a week on a sunbed with a good book and no physical exercise or do you need to spend it actively? Taking sightseeing-tours, getting an adrenaline kick?” Paddy pointed over his shoulder to the big LED-screen where the production had pulled up a picture on which he and Gino were hanging overhead from a bungee rope. Again, the audience laughed, just like Marco.

“It really doesn’t matter what I do or where I go, you can always be sure to find Gino calling you on day two, complaining about him being bored and asking what the plan for the day is.”

The program was being shown live on national TV. Marco had forgotten to leave his phone in the dressing room so now he could feel it vibrating in his pocket after saying the thing about Gino. He knew that the text message probably didn’t contain the nicest expressions without having to read it and Marco might would have to make amends by getting Gino a year-supply of those disgusting frog-shaped candies that he loved so much. He had never understood his boyfriend’s obsession over those and they also didn’t taste like the soft drink they shared their name with but Marco knew it would make Gino happy and that was the least he could do after deliberately teasing him in front of a good quarter of the Swiss population.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Truthful Promises

Fandom: Shadow and Bone Summary: His life is so complicated now, and yet he would never change it for anything. Warnings: Implied major character death Word Count: 845 Ship(s): Nikolai Lantsov/Mal Oretsev/Alina Starkov

Archive link!

A/N: Is this my first work in this fandom? Yes. Did I put off finishing my writing goal for a different fandom? Also yes. I'm so excited to write and consume content for this fandom now! I'm probably going to seek out the book(s) as soon as my library is back open, haha. Thank you all for reading! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

“Nikolai, I need to talk to you in private.”

The prince closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through is nose. He knew that this was going to be coming, especially after Alina and his meeting in the war room. He had been hoping that he could put it off, like he had with everything else in his life. He had run around as a privateer so that he could get closer to his people and because he had the privilege of not being a bird in a forever-closed cage the same way that his brother had, but it was also to avoid the responsibilities of the army and royalty. He hadn’t wanted to face the harshness that life was trying to offer him so he had picked something else to shield him from it.

He didn’t have that option anymore, no matter how desperately he wanted it.

Slowly, he turned on his heel and then gave a nod. The two men departed from the crowd of people so that they were on their own, tucked in one of the forgotten rooms in their fort-sanctuary. This place was so still, more still than he had been in years. Even when he had ventured deep into land so that he could help Alina they had still be traveling, which was also what had happened when he had hired the Crows. Now the Hummingbird had been grounded and his ship was sailing on the mission he had given them before he left. He was grounded and stuck in a pit until they could claw their way out and kill the beast keeping them in.

“What did you wish to talk about?” Nikolai asked, his heart fluttering in his chest. It was a combination of nerves and love, something that he had adjusted to very quickly after falling in love with a Living Saint. Her life was full of turmoil and danger that followed after her with every breath she took. Loving her was much the same.

“I know that Alina told you,” Mal replied. He leaned up against one of the tables so that he was closer to Nikolai in height.

The prince sighed and ran a hand over the lower half of his face. His emotional stamina was high after spending his entire life hiding what he was really feeling, but going from comforting his girlfriend to having the most serious conversation that he could with his boyfriend wasn’t something that he had been prepared for when he had woken up that morning. “She did.”

“Then you know what has to happen,” Mal replied. He reached out and took the hand that Nikolai had been using to scrub over his skin. Tolya had been surprised when she found out how quickly both of his partners had picked up on his worst habits since it had taken her months to find them all and she was an expert on people.

The words hung heavy in the air between them as they both refused to speak. Nikolai didn’t want to acknowledge that he was about to loose someone that he had just found, a love that felt so at home in his usually hollow chest. “I know,” he whispered as he tried to keep his voice from breaking.

Mal brought his hand up to Nikolai’s cheek, threading their fingers together with his spare. He brought their foreheads together with a soft ‘thunk’ and a pain sharp enough to ground them both. “I know that this will be hard on you as well, but it will destroy Alina. We were made for each other and while this has been my destiny since I was orphaned and walked all the way to her, she doesn’t exactly see it that way. I need you to promise something for me.”

“Anything,” he murmured, and he meant it. There were times he had made that promise and then broken it almost immediately because they were hollow words and false ideas, but this one was so full of truth and love he felt like he might die on the spot. 

“I need you to make the proposal real. You have to marry her and give her the political power that she needs to bring Ravka back to peace. She needs to know that the world can be a place where she can simply live after all the pain she’s been through. She deserves to rest,” Mal whispered. “And you deserve to have someone by your side that is going to be faithful and loyal.”

Nikolai resisted the urge to point out that if they simply found another way to kill Kirigan then he could have two people by his side that did that. He would never legally marry, but he would take them both as consorts and have them marry each other just as they had discussed in that quite night they had stolen in his ship after capturing the Sea Whip. Instead, he just pressed a kiss to lips that would not be his for much longer and murmured, “I promise.”

[raspberrysunshinebby]

Two Choices Character Information

Okay with how I’m mentally planning this now because I didn’t earlier here is important information

Character information

Reader’s family, the Raith family.

Duke Silas Raith, oldest and like a father to the other siblings

Lord Cardan, a man who studied medicine and is now engaged to the daughter of the Winter Court’s general.

Lord Prescott, a warrior.

Lord Flint, honestly he’s just lowkey chilling.

Lady Reader

Their father Duke Fern abused their mother Duchess Celeste and eventually murdered her. This was six months after the birth of the reader. The boys had loved their mother and were scared of the fate of their sister, leading them to brutally murder their father. They got away with it by faking him being murdered by a drunk man, as the duke was known to be an alcoholic everyone believed them.

Duke Silas’s biggest fear was always that his sister would suffer the same fate as their mother, this fear spread to his other brothers as well.

The General of the Winter Court

General Everest

Lady Alina, the General’s wife

Lady Valerie, Cardans fiance

I hate naming men so give me names for Eris’ brothers. Also the order of the dead brothers doesn’t exist so I’m picking and choosing

Eris

Dead

Onyx

Unnamed

Unnamed

Dead

Lucien

Their mother is named Iris

The girls from Chapter four will also be important but I’m gonna add them later cause I’m tired. 

Also my theory with the laws with mates is that it differs from Court to Court and with each couple it depends on the rules in the females court.

For the Autumn Court I’ve decided that the female is not allowed to be forced to go unless its another high lord or duke which then the court has no control over, if they are not then the male needs consent from her or if she’s a high member of society, her family.