#all i will say is that i am looking very disrespectfully

[ilurvjohnoliver]

was going thru my john folder and these specific pictures are making me weak

[flagellant]

Hey! Please correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem like you actually know things about wend*gos and I genuinely want to have a better understanding.

Based on my limited understanding, the association with deer and wend*gos is more of a pop culture thing and the original concept of wend*gos arent like that at all. They're regular humans who got cursed for being cannibals, right?

Dont get me wrong, youre completely right in saying that people need to stop associating deer imagery with cannibalism as pop culture doesnt erase appropriation, but am I at least right on the history?

No pressure to answer if you dont want to, thanks for taking time to read this regardless.

Alright, it's been a while since I've spoken about the winter hunger so it's time for the perennial disclaimer: I am not Anishinaabe, and I cannot be considered a true authority on their practices and beliefs. Native America is, after all, not a monolith, and I can only speak for what I know through research and seeking to learn about this topic in order to be more respectful of them and advocate for that respect due to my audience's size.

With that said: You're correct. There is absolutely no deer imagery aligned with the Anishinaabe culture's portrayals and understanding of the being in question. I'm not 100% sure on its origins, but I'd be willing to bet that much of the inspiration would come from the Witcher 3's depictions of leshy--they click all of the buttons through visual language, and I can see why people would see that sort of iconography and begin applying it disrespectfully. Like I keep saying--fucked up deers are cool and spooky as hell! It's not a shock that through law-of-large-numbers and a history of oppression and thievery that the horror genre can often be anti-indigenous bc of that!

For clarification of the most commonly understood appearance of the winter hunger--and this is not so that you can more accurately use it, it is so you can more accurately defend against racist and inaccurate depictions--it takes the shape of humans. Often of people you know. There are sometimes qualifiers like frostbite or lack of feet but at the very root of it, it is supposed to look like a human being.

Further disclaimer: What I'm about to say may be an entirely wrong interpretation of the winter hunger, but it is rooted in my culture's understanding of a very similar evil being which exists in Dine and other desert-dwelling native tribes such as mine. It's further rooted in my specific understanding of religion through anthropological lenses, since that's why I love studying religion so much--because it doesn't exist in a vacuum it is defined by our understanding of our surroundings.

Picture it this way: Both the Anishinaabe and my own people are in some way considered extremophilic cultures. We both live in an environment which reliably becomes lethally dangerous to exist within if you aren't prepared, willing to sacrifice your own comfort for the survival of everyone, and combines a level of isolation during those extreme climates with a need to be able to trust those around you implicitly because you all want to survive. Deserts, be they snow or sand, are difficult places to live within. There are enough resources to go around, but it's not exactly uncommon for there to be enough to go around and that's all. You're surviving because you and everyone around you are putting the survival of everyone over individualist comforts.

The winter hunger and the desert swallowing you whole are always taught as something which looks like a human. Which sounds like a human. Which can trick others into thinking it is human. Beings which have the shape of a person, but have no humanity--they lost it or they never had it. And both of them are things which gain power over you when spoken of and thought of--they're a type of memetophage. They feed on people who know about them, so you're forced to balance "aware that this danger exists" with "need to know what the danger is". They often will try and trick you into evil deeds or danger yourself by wearing the face and voice of family and loved ones. People you know well to let your guard down.

Now remember that you are a culture which needs to prepare itself for extreme climate survival. Everyone has to rely on everyone else. But sometimes people aren't going to like the people they're surviving with. People will resent other people for whatever reasons they choose, justified or not. Living so close together and in such tight quarters can be stressful and bring out the absolute worst in us.

Imagine, for a moment, going out into a snowstorm or the bitter desert night, looking for food for everyone else, sent with someone you hate. It's a harsh life. Even at your safest you are at risk of death for whatever reason--getting lost, being attacked by an animal, taking a bad fall. It happens. It's a fact of life. It's horribly tragic but it's acknowledged as inevitable.

Imagine the knowledge of how dangerous what you two are doing worming its way into your head during this time. If you were willing to hate this person enough to kill them...it wouldn't be hard to convince everyone it was just an accident. Just something which happens. Kill a stag, then kill them and jam the stag's antlers through the wound. Or just disable them somehow and leave them to freeze in the snowdrifts and say they got lost. Or push them down a ravine. There are so many possibilities and all of them exonerate you of any complicity, because yeah, you didn't like them...

...but you trust each other to survive. You trust that you're all willing to give up things to make sure everyone is able to survive and get through these things. You trust that when you are in danger, you don't need to worry about it coming from someone you know. And so why would anyone suspect you? And maybe you convince yourself that what you did was good, actually. One less mouth to feed. More food for everyone. Or it's just easier for you--someone who you hated so much, and now you never need to worry about them again.

Imagine the way that knowledge that you've done it once would show up again and again. Anyone and everyone is now in danger because you've become aware of the benefits of being greedy. Of choosing to hurt and kill other people to further your own goals and desires. Of deciding that the sacrosanct ties of the whole community's survival is not a priority over your own violent impulses. The knowledge of what you can do to other people is, itself, a danger. You put the idea of it, the possibility, in someone's head, and there is every chance that it could start dwelling in there and taking root, changing them from a good person, someone you know, a member of the community, into an evil, selfish monster which has lost its humanity and merely wears that person's face. Uses its voice to lie to you. Wants you all to have your guards down around it. Something waiting to strike where it can.

Now remember that we turn rainbows into the bridges of gods because we needed to create a reason for them. That's the history of magic: we don't know how to explain something, or we don't know how to process it, or we do and need to obfuscate that knowledge through a layer of fiction to cope with it. We don't invent the divine for no reason, on instinct, without thinking. We do it because there is something that creating it offers us as a species and culture that would otherwise be lacked. So think: Why would tribal cultures who need everyone to be willing to set aside personal wants and grievances to ensure that everyone survives through harsh climates need to have something like the winter hunger or the desert swallowing you whole? What benefit does it offer the community? What is the purpose of sharing knowledge about this monster? Where would it fit into that culture's way of life and philosophies?

The answer becomes self-evident soon enough. We all know what it looks like when one person decides they can sacrifice other humans for their own personal greed. We call them oligarchs.

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 3 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: almost posted this with a missing part 💀 anyways, enjoy! (Ramadan Mubarak to my practicing babes!)

W/C: 3.782

part two

"What are you doing here?"

"Why are you here?"

We both exclaim at the same time, his hand cradling his shocked face as I look at him with my own wide eyes.

I glance at my dad; he doesn't look all too happy. I avert my gaze to Jude's mom, gulping down whatever saliva I have left in my now-dry mouth.

I actually had quite a few nice interactions with her during matches. We'd always talk when we bumped into each other. I not-so-shockingly got along more with his mom than Jude himself.

But this...

This isn't a nice interaction whatsoever.

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

"I am so sorry. As you might know, y/n is insanely clumsy." My dad begins, his hand on Jude's back. He manages to guide him further into his firm.

I'm left standing alone with Jude's mom as we stare at each other for a second. My body stiffening in fear of what she might say.

"I am so sorry-" I start rambling, feeling my palms become sweaty.

I was more sorry to her than her son, to be completely honest.

I watch her eyes warm up immediately, her hand reaching over to place her hand on my shoulder.

"I think he'll be alright. Are you? Looked painful there." She says, her eyes full of concern as she squeezes my shoulder.

"I'm fine, perfect." I blurt, neglecting the pain in my own ankle and look behind her.

I was so dead.

I try to not look too nosy when I sit at the secretary's desk outside of my dad's office. Peering inside sneakily through the huge glass panels. Watching Jude and his mom sit across from him, a couple documents placed on the table they're sitting at.

I do make eye contact with an injured-looking Jude. He looks pissed, nodding his head repeatedly to whatever my dad was saying while holding up a pink ice pack to his head.

A sight that could be seen as comical, if I ignored the fact that I was the one who had caused it.

Thankfully, both of our parents don't notice the death stare we're giving each other, totally immersed into- what I assume, important conversation.

Come to think of it, why were they even here today?

It could only be the stalker incident.

I'm brought out of my thoughts quickly by a hand knocking on my desk.

"Stop staring already."

Luckily, ‘my-ego-is-bigger-than-my-head' Jude had returned just in time before I started to genuinely feel bad.

I lean back in my chair, eyes skimming his face for any bruises or blood. Not noticing anything unusual yet.

"It hurt, didn't it?" I ask, wanting to laugh. The situation unfolded so ridiculously fast, it felt like a camera prank waiting to be revealed.

"You could've messed with my face!" He replies in a hushed voice, his Brummie accent thick as he leans over the desk.

"Should I hit the other side? Just to make it even.” I smile, standing up and going to stand in front of him. Ignoring the shooting pain in my ankle.

He looks at me in disbelief, cocking a brow at me.

"What are you even doing here? Got sued for being insufferable?"

"Very creative with your insults.." I mock, pointing towards my dad's office. Seeing his mom and my dad still talking to each other.

"That's my dad."

"That's your dad?" He repeats, brows furrowing. He points at me, a little too disrespectfully, a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yes, that is my dad." I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"That's why you look so close with Ancelotti?" He gasps. "That's how you got the job!" He assumes, an accusatory finger pointed at me as he steps closer to me.

"No, and that's actually none of your business." I state, leaning back so his hand doesn't touch me.

I got the job after I submitted an anonymous application a little after I had returned from London. It was only just to try out my luck, but I was surprised when I got an email back for an actual interview.

I understood the assumption totally, and I wouldn't say I knew exactly a hundred percent that they didn't know who I was.

Most I could go off of was that I never told my dad I applied for the job. Later also finding out that the Real Madrid executives don't really look at job applications. They had other people do that. So the nepotism possibility was very small.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, tilting my head.

His expression immediately drops, his gaze averting.

"None of your business." He repeats my answer, mocking my tone.

"Okay, I guess not." I sigh, throwing my hands up in defeat, hearing footsteps come our way.

"Have you guys made up? You and Jude must be closer than I thought." His mom says, smiling at me.

I force a smile, nodding at her. My expression changing immediately.

"Yes, we made up. Right Jude?" I look at him, putting on my sweetest face.

"Sure." He mutters, turning to my dad.

"I didn't know she was your daughter. How do you deal with her?"

I was about to rip the door off its hinges and slam the door into his face again.

"She's a handful, isn't she? Troublemaker since she was little." My dad says, and I look at him shocked, as if he'd just betrayed our entire lineage.

No, I was not!

I step in between them before my dad ruins my image even more. Looking at Jude's mom in particular.

"Should we have some coffee?"

"So, what brings you two here? Not something horrible, I hope.” I pry, setting down the plastic tray of cups on the table.

I glance at my dad for a moment, placing a cup of coffee in front of everyone before sitting next to him, across from Jude and his mom.

"We had an incident in our home. Police are still investigating, but we were advised by the club to contact your dad for any legal action." His mom explains.

I was right.

"Oh, that must’ve been terrifying. Are you both alright?"

"We weren't home, but it definitely shook us a bit."

I nod in acknowledgment, taking a sip of my coffee as I take her words in.

"I know my dad and his team of lawyers will be very helpful. Both criminal and corporate law, the best in the city." I brag, winking, putting a hand on my dad's shoulder.

"y/n.." my dad warns, bellow a whisper, giving me a side eye.

I hear his mom chuckling and avert my gaze to her with a raised brow.

"You know- you've got to take compliments, especially from your daughter." She smiles, bringing the cup up to her lips.

My eyes move over to Jude. He's slumping in his chair, looking insanely uninterested in the conversation. I think I even caught him grimacing when I spoke.

The conversation his mom and my dad have practically fades in the background for a second. My mind wandering to random thoughts as I look to the side.

I only redirect my attention when I hear my name, followed by Jude's.

"-to work together?" My dad says, and I look back at Jude. Motioning for him to answer whatever my dad had asked. He doesn't say a single word, prompting me to discreetly kick him underneath the table.

'What?' He mouths at me, then he looks at my dad.

"It's very fun to work with y/n. She's such an interesting character." He answers, bright smile on his lips.

How backhanded could a compliment be?

"Yeah, so fun. Jude's has his moments, but we get along so well." I bite back, my tone sweet as ever. Holding back a wince as I feel him step on my shoe underneath the table.

"Oh, that's great.." His mom trails off, her eyes flickering in between us.

"Jude and y/n will be seeing each other a lot. As she's traveling closely with the team this season." My dad says proudly, this time putting his hand on my shoulder.

"That's even better. You can improve your Spanish faster with her help, Jude." His mom adds, causing a forced smile to form on his face.

"Yeah, that's very nice." He comments, sitting up and straightening his posture.

Our very nice conversation finally ends. My father and I standing up to follow them out of the firm.

"Lovely having you, Mrs. Bellingham." I say, extending my hand.

"You too, y/n." She says smiling, giving me a firm hand.

I smile, letting go of her hand, watching our parents shake each other's hands. I then look away, standing awkwardly in front of Jude.

"See you tomorrow, Jude." I mumble; it pains me physically to be nice to him.

"See you." He says, already walking away. His back turned to me as he stands outside.

After many greetings, my dad finally closes the door behind them, slowly turning to me.

"Really? What kind of show were you putting on?" He begins, throwing his hands up.

"Dad! You have to check this door out. I tried to open it like three times, and the key barely turned!" I explain, speaking hurriedly.

"I swear, it wasn't on purpose. I didn't even know they were here!" I add, trying to defend myself further.

"Let's just go home..." He mutters walking back into his office, collecting his laptop bag and a couple documents.

I sigh, following behind him like a lost puppy. Slowly becoming more aware of the pain in my ankle.

"Where is everybody?"

"We finished this big case successfully, and I sent everyone home early. I had to stay back because of this appointment." He turns to me.

"Why are you here, though?"

"I wanted to visit and work on that essay."

"You're still not done with it?" He asks, locking his office door.

"No.." I reply guilty, fidgeting with the stack of bracelets on my wrist.

He sighs, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pushing me towards the entrance.

"I'll cook fresh tonight, and you'll work on that essay. What do you say?"

I crack a smile at his words, nodding.

"Deal! I would love some lasagna right now."

"I think- I'm going to faint."

I look up from my phone, frowning at Luis. The sun beaming down on our faces as we try to collect ourselves.

"No, you're not. You're going to show him how much of a professional you are with a camera." I say, patting his shoulder in reassurance.

We had received a very detailed email after agreeing to capture Apple CEO Tim Cook's visit to the club. This led us to stand in front of the training pitch, as we were instructed to film and take pictures of Cook interacting with the players.

Normally, we had timed posts that got posted automatically via an automated system.

This time, I had to live update the social media accounts of the club. Doing it all alone with Luis this time was a new experience.

We had only done it with approval for edits and drafts, and of course, goals that were scored or unexpected things that happened during matches.

"Take a deep breath and turn your camera on."

I say checking the time and posting another story on the club's Instagram before looking up.

We make sure to capture everything perfectly and move quickly to post the footage online.

After a few, excruciating fifteen minutes, we finally finish filming. Thinking Cook and President Pérez would just walk away, until they started approaching us. My own nerves building up as I glance at Luis who looks like he's about to actually lose it.

"Get your shit together, dude." I whisper, plastering a smile on my face as I finally shake Cook's hand. President Pérez also extending his hand as I shake it, a little more careful of my actions.

I wish I could just ask for a new MAC and a hundred million euros.

"Nice to meet you, sir. I'm y/n. Part of PR and marketing." I grip Cook's hand firmly, looking into his blue eyes through his black-rimmed glasses.

"Likewise." He responds, shaking Luis' hand as well.

"So, you two are the brains behind the genius team?" Cook asks, looking in between the two of us.

"Very flattering, but we have an amazing team beside us. We've been chosen today for our recent hard work. Though, I would say- Luis here is definitely one of the best, if not the best cameraman to work with." I say, trying to speak in the most polite way possible, smiling kindly.

I had never sucked up to someone this hard, but it had to be done.

I watch Cook's gaze move over to Luis, looking impressed.

"Well, I've seen what you've put out. My biggest reason to visit is definitely because of your team. As you have might have heard, I am very impressed by the amount of growth this football club has had on social media. I think you two definitely deserve to take some of that credit."

"Thank you, sir. We do appreciate that." Luis says, and I watch his facial expression intently.

He was really good at pretending to be okay.

"Right, then we will make our way back inside." President Pérez interrupts. We nod almost immediately, giving them a polite smile as they walk away.

We both watch them leave our proximity. Then look at each other with a blank stare before I witness Luis burst out in laughter.

"I've never heard you speak so sweetly."

"What should I have done. Call them 'dude!' or 'mate!'. Besides, I just gassed you up in front of the CEO of Apple. Thank me at least." I say, scoffing, checking the analytics of the posts before looking back up at the training pitch.

"Thank you. You're the best." He mutters, giving me a side hug.

"I know.." I say teasingly, shoving my phone in my pocket.

"Is it me, or did these guys just start training like their lives depended on it?" I laugh, seeing almost all of them fully drenched in sweat.

"Well, they had to impress the president as well."

I nod at Luis' answer, finally seeing Ancelotti dismiss the team. We watch them stop training, hearing some sighs of relief.

I hear someone call out to us, and we look around confused. Eventually, my eyes lock with Cama's.

"Yeah?" I shout back, watching him jog our way. Of course, the young French duo completes as Aurélien follows him.

« Comment c'était? » How was it?

Eduardo asks, a bright smile on his face as he still looks, very obviously tired.

« C'était bien, ce n'était pas très difficile. » It was good, not that hard. 

I boast, seeing Luis look partially lost in the corner of my vision. I was sure he could make out some words, though.

« vraiment? » really?

Aurélien chimes in, having heard the first few sentences from afar.

"We were a little nervous, but I think we handled it nicely." I wink, jabbing Luis as if he could follow.

"What's with the French?" I hear, seeing the person I'd seen enough of this week already.

I watch Eduardo throw an arm around Jude's shoulder, bringing him into the circle.

"Just talking." He says, the atmosphere turning awkward for a moment.

My phone starts ringing right at that second. I quickly reach for my phone and read the caller ID.

'Hugo (PR)'

I show the phone to Luis for a moment, as he nods, giving me the go ahead.

I walk a couple meters away for privacy, then pick up the call. My walk a little off as my ankle still hurts. Only because of Thursday’s debacle. I don't even know why I didn't get it checked out yet.

The call lasts a couple of minutes, and I walk back to the group of guys. Looking at Luis in particular.

"Luis, we need to go meet Hugo. He wants a debrief on how everything went."

"We will see you guys during lunch." I say to the players, bending down to unzip the equipment bag, helping Luis pack the camera.

"Why do you walk so weird?" I suddenly hear Jude say, his voice filled with curiosity as I look up.

I sigh in annoyance, rolling my eyes, before standing up and handing Luis a battery he had to pack.

"Remember when I smacked the door into your face?" I say, hearing confused noises coming from the guys next to us. I ignore them, focused on rolling up a cable semi-aggressively while looking at Jude.

"You weren't the only one in pain, hurt my own ankle as well." I mutter, still pissed about the incident.

He doesn't respond, continuing to look at me blankly. Prompting me to ignore him further.

"You guys need any help?" I hear Aurélin say, and I shake my head.

"No, it's fine; we're used to it." I smile, muttering a quick 'bye' before Luis and I go inside, mentally preparing for the debrief.

"That was not the best I've seen." I whisper to Luis, as his face looked understandably grim.

"I don't even want to know what the mood in the changing room is like."

We were making our way to our cars in the parking lot after the disappointing 1-3 defeat against Atletico Madrid.

We were done with shooting content and decided to leave early. More people wandering around with cameras and all would probably be even more of a nuance to the players after a defeat like this.

"Just turn on a song. That is the only way we can forget about the pain." I half-joke as we unlock our respective cars. Both conveniently parked next to each other.

"What? Are you playing Future again?"

"Exactly."

Unlike the match on Sunday, the match against Las Palmas ended successfully with a 2-0 win for Real Madrid. The players finally made their way inside after a celebration with their proud fans, walking up the stairs through their stadium tunnel. Jude walking alongside his teammates into the changing room.

His eyes catch Luis interviewing his teammate and Man Of The Match, Joselu. He looks around for a second, not seeing the girl he'd grown accustomed to fighting with every time they interacted. Confused as to why she wasn't doing her usual post-match task.

Ignoring his brewing thoughts, he walks into the changing room. He hears his name being shouted halfway through taking his sweaty shirt off. Looking up to find Antonio looking at his arm.

"Your arm is bleeding, man. Get it treated at the nurse." Antonio suggests, patting his shoulder.

He nods, thanking the man. He puts his T-shirt on carefully, trying not to make contact with the wound. Dressed in a clean shirt, he steps out of the changing room. Walking through the hallways and knocking on the door of the medical room before opening it.

No medical personnel is in sight. Though, he does see someone curled up in a blanket on one of the treatment beds.

The person raises her head to check out who entered, a groan leaving her lips in dissatisfaction as she spots a confused Jude.

"Why are you here?" He asks, eyes roaming on her defeated figure.

"I'm dying, obviously." She mumbles, burying her head deeper into the pillow.

"Finally." He mutters, rolling his eyes and sighing.

"Fuck off.." She replies, pulling the blanket closer. Not in the mood to entertain him.

"Where is the nurse?" He asks, sitting across from her on the other treatment bed.

"Left to get me some ibuprofen." She replies, feeling more pain in her lower stomach. Unable to hold back a pained groan, she rests her head down again.

His eyes soften for a moment, but he tenses up when he hears the door open. A male nurse looks at him curiously as he walks into the room.

Still, the nurse prioritizes the sick y/n, helping her take the ibuprofen with a gentle hand on her back, accompanied by a glass of water.

Jude stares at the two, his eyes following the nurse’s movements like a hawk.

"Do you require treatment?" The nurse asks in Spanish, turning towards Jude when he sets the cup down.

He looks at the nurse like a deer in headlights, recognizing some words, but not enough to understand the entire sentence.

"He's asking if you need treatment." He hears y/n translate, her body slumped against the bed.

He nods immediately, showing off his arm. Dark red blood dribbling down to his elbow.

He watches the nurse’s eyes light up, getting the required equipment and bandaging his wound within a couple minutes.

"Gracias." He mutters, fidgeting with the bandage as the nurse cleans up the equipment.

He watches the nurse leave, his eyes darting back to y/n across from him.

Jude raises his eyebrows in interest as she turns around in the bed. Frown on her own face. The thin blanket not covering her body anymore.

An unusual concern for the girl starts brewing in his chest, he tries to shake it off. Look away, but he can't help but look again when he hears her shift again. Now, with her back turned towards him.

He stands up, walking towards her. His body moving on autopilot, his brain screaming at him for a clear reason why he should care about her or help her willingly.

Seeing her shiver slightly, Jude looks at the end of the bed, seeing the blanket jammed in between the mattress and bed frame. He glances at her one more time before grabbing the blanket, pulling it out from in between the bed and then quickly draping it over her body.

She doesn't react, drowsy enough to not notice. It making it the perfect moment for him to book it out of the room.

He almost has a heart attack when he crosses Luis, probably on his way to check up on his coworker in the medical room.

He sees Luis look at him for a second but avoids eye contact, continuing to just booking it into the changing room.

Why did he even do that?

His brain scrambles for a reason, all kinds of thoughts whirling in his mind, quickly chalking it up to having morals, the ones his parents taught him since he was a young boy.

You had to have morals, even when you mutually despised each other so much, right?

[decolonize-the-everything]

Howdy! I see a lot of Jasmine Sherman content and I wanted to know if you knew about her tiktok? I see people saying she's been very rude to those asking questions and that she refuses to expand upon her policies, but I don't have a tiktok so I can't see it for myself.

You don't have to answer this but if you know anything more, I'd appreciate it ty ❤️❤️

They use they/them pronouns and yeah im familiar with it, been tuning into the last couple lives.

And I would say Sherman is as respectful to you as you are to them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Matter of fact, I thought this was funny so I took a screenshot. Here is them kinda laying it out themselves in the practice live they held earlier this week.

They were asking questions to something called Pi, which from context I gathered was some AI tool.

Jasmine Sherman explained to it that they're not particularly social and have a strong set of principles and boundaries. One of which is not believing in respectability politics. So they don't believe they should have to tone police themselves for them or their words to still hold value, especially when respect is not being reciprocated.

Sherman is rude when they're clocking people, yeah. Legitimately. They're outta pocket fr 💀💀 self-described as petty.

They don't hide this. This is a campaign image from the share & distribute section of their site lol

As for the people asking policy questions: the majority are, as they say above, coming and asking very disrespectfully. It's people who clearly don't know anything about their policy, haven't read it, & yet come to the live accusing Sherman of being a bot or psyop or just ignorant honestly that Sherman refuses to answer.

There was one person there who kept coming back to the live to harass Sherman about their death penalty policy. I mean returning after hours at a time, time they absolutely could've checked Sherman's site.

Sherman answered something like: i used to believe in it and switched after talking to professionals and experts in the field about it. It's still up on the site for accountability and transparency.

That person refused to go away and got nastier; continued treating Sherman like a liar or like their policies had holes for no reason. And they kept coming back to ask the same thing, just demanding energy and labor again and again and again.

At one point Sherman told people watching the live and doing the live with them to stop trying to educate that person. They're willfully and intentionally ignorant. To ignore them. So people did.

Also they DO expand on their policies which is why it's so frustrating when those people come in acting like Sherman doesnt or like they don't have a policy at all. It's also on their site if people really wanna know so it's also like?

........?

......do you just wanna see Black femme perform for you?

And besides that even while Sherman is roasting you they're assuring you that even if someone disagrees with them or doesn't understand them or even if Sherman themselves hates you, they'll still believe you still deserve basic human rights, housing, healthcare, and are gonna keep fighting for that anyway.

They said something like this a million times in the last hour so I'll paraphrase:

"why should I give a fuck about your opinion. Why should you care about mine? What does my opinion matter when I'm fighting for a better future for all of us. Hate me all you want. I don't care. I don't.

Your hate doesn't matter to me or change what I'm fighting for. You wanna see my policies or my experience? Go to my site or look me up, Google knows who I am. If you don't have anything to say about my policies then I don't care. I don't care that youre voting for Kamala. I don't care that you think my campaign is a waste of time. That changes nothing for me. Biden let's a genocide happen, Trump is Like That, but I can't be rude to people that are rude to me first? It's a double standard because I'm Black and fat. I don't care that people think I'm rude. They can think I'm rude all they want. They don't need to like me as a person to support my platform. Just like I don't need to like them as a person to keep fighting for my platform."

They were feeling deeply frustrated.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Captain Hands! Besides hands: what other physical parts and/or expressions are you watching for the most in dramas? What physicalities (besides intimacy, heh) give you the most clues into the psyche of a character?

BESTIE 

BESTIE COME ON, I STILL HAVE TO WATCH ABSOLUTE ZERO AND INSTEAD HERE YOU ARE PUTTING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS IN MY ASK BOX!! 

And you’ve fucked me further by excluding the intimate scenes, when you KNOW THAT THOSE ARE SO FUCKING RIFE WITH PHYSICALITY, CHOREOGRAPHY, AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT 

GAHHHHHHH 

Ugh. Ok. Fine. Just know you did this to yourself because I look at fucking everything, which is part of why it can take me three hours to watch a 45 minute episode of something. 

So there are a couple different things that I love looking at when I am analyzing characters, their body language, and what they are thinking. That said, I think everything after this is extremely subjective and often times hard to give an explanation for why (for example [and just to sneak in a hands example] James gives an incredible performance as Uea, and also, when I see him on screen as Uea I feel like he is paying too much attention to how his hands are laying in a scene since he has to femme himself up a bit. Why do I think that? No clue). 

An additional problem to this is that what I look for is variable depending on the actor themselves and how many things I know them from. For example, I didn’t think Earth was a good actor at first when I watched A Tale of a Thousand Stars because Phupa was *so* repressed that he just read flat to me, and I literally went and sought out other EarthMix pieces, at that time I think only Cupid’s Last Wish was available, to see how Earth performed in that and it grew my appreciation for the fact that he can act.

So, what other things, besides hands, do I look for in the physicality of an actor that makes me understand their character? 

Eyes

Hands and eyes are some of the most expressive parts of a body, and you can learn a lot about people from looking in their eyes. 

There are three main things I am looking for when I am parsing a character’s thoughts or feelings: Eyelid/Eyebrow Movement, Eye Movement, and Eye Shine.

Eyelid/Eyebrow Movement

Not sure if this makes sense, but I am looking for small movements such as eyes narrowing, or getting bigger, or an eyebrow being quirked (shout out to Mark Pakin in Only Friends quirking his eyebrow at Boston when they meet for the first time at the phone repair shop). Obviously for this, as for all things, there are levels to it, if a character is someone fundamentally incapable of keeping their emotions close to the chest, you are going to see that in larger reactions, extremely visible, eyebrow raises, eyes that obviously narrow quickly, etc. Or for characters that are repressed, surprised, distrusting, or otherwise mysterious, I may be looking for smaller reactions, just a little eye twitch if something is getting to them, minimal dipping of an eyebrow if someone is, say, confused. And variations in that are going to be so interesting, for example if a character who is typically good at hiding his emotions suddenly gets a deeply furrowed brow, or has his eyes widen dramatically you know shit is suppppppeeeerrrr fucked. 

gif by @klausbens

Nick is both demonstrating the eyebrow movement, and the next thing I look for...

Eye Movement 

Oh BL boys constantly looking down at their crushes lips, how I love theeeeeee. When I am looking at eye movement, I am usually looking to see how many times someone breaks eye contact with another character, how quickly they return to that eye contact, and where they are looking. Ray in Only Friends is looking very disrespectfully at Sand, and you can tell that Ray is admiring the goods by how slowly his eyes move ever lower. This is an extremely obvious example, because there isn’t really even dialogue happening at the point in time at which Ray is checking Sand out in his bathroom. I live for the moments where characters are talking to eachother, but their eyes keep flitting down to the other person’s lips cause they just wanna kiss them so bad. 

This doesn’t even have to be a ‘let me stare at your lips three times in thirty seconds” or a “let me stare at your lips for thirty seconds” deal either. In moments like Laws of Attraction, Episode 7 where Tin is a wash of frantic eye movements to assess Charn for injuries. You can tell he’s just anxiously taking Charn in, looking to make sure that he’s okay. 

gif by @spicyvampire

Eye Shine 

Eye shine is such a vital fucking part of acting, if I watch something and someone consistently has dead eyes it takes me out of the story a bit, makes me think that either they are a bad actor or that they were not interested in being on that film set. But if a character with bright and shiny eyes, suddenly has dead eyes, oohhhhh the juiciness, ohhhhh the trauma that has been unleashed upon that character. For as much as I have been shit talking Dangerous Romance, I will give it to Chimon that Sailom’s dead eyes after he is almost burned with the iron are incredible. Peat similarly does a great job of this in the last episode of Love in the Air when Prapai rescues Sky from Gun. 

gif by @moonkhao

Bright in I Feel You Linger in the Air is absolutely crushing it in the eye shine department. You do not have to look at Yai for more than ten seconds any time Jom is in the room to see the human equivalent of the heart eye emojis appear. Though we only really started a romance at the end of Episode 6 and we didn’t spend a lot of time in Episode 7 actually focused on Jom and Yai’s relationship, I do not doubt their attraction to one another for one second because of how Yai looks at Jom. 

Film in Laws of Attraction absolutely destroys the ‘I am actively thinking about fucking you, or getting fucked by you,’ aka horny eye shine as Charn in Episode 8 after Charn and Tin kiss at their wedding. I think we are all aware of (as @shortpplfedup calls them) Mix’s ‘fuck me’ eyes in Moonlight Chicken, so on and so forth. 

The change in Neo’s eyes in Ep. 5 of Only Friends before he digs his claws in to Ray? Superb, I saw that look and knew Boston was about to be a shit stirrer. 

Low key, I think part of what makes First such a great actor is the fact that he has really big eyes, because First is a very skilled micro-expressive actor, having facial features that are slightly larger than average I presume (in full speculation) is easier to read the microexpressions. At least for me. For example, it is easier for me to tell when say First in The Eclipse or Mix in Moonlight Chicken are doing micro expressions, especially when it comes to eye shine, than it is for me with Earth in A Tale of a Thousand Stars or Kao in Until We Meet Again. 

Posture 

I look at how a character holds themselves in space, do they feel stiff constantly, do they feel loose? Where are they relaxed, how are they relaxed, are they leaning in, are they leaning out? Do they stutter and stumble (Ray in Only Friends), are they ramrod straight (Akk in The Eclipse), when and where do they melt (Ren and Kazuma in Tokyo in April Is…), when are they experiencing joy (Karl dancing in Gaya Sa Pelikula), when does a character experience desire and especially when do they yank on the leash they have tied around their desire and snap it back behind a door (Pran in Ep 5 of Bad Buddy, Teh in Ep 3 of ITSAY), where does a character place themselves (Hira and Kiyoi in Utsukushi Kare).

gif by @eohachu

If I had to pick one master of posture out of every performer I have seen in a BL, it is hands down, without a shadow of a doubt, no contest, and zero time needed to think, Billkin in his performance as Teh in I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You the Moon. That boy is awkward as hell and I drank in every second of it. But Teh’s posture changes so much in this show, he’s constantly tense, but you can see how some of that falls away when it’s just Oh and Teh together, or when Teh’s attention is on Oh because he leans more forward in his chair, or when he is thinking about things and kinda stressed about them and he is shaking his leg anxiously under the table. Teh is constantly fidgeting and Billkin shows that so well

gif by @thii-nii

One of my favorite acting moments in Only Friends so far is the fight scene in Episode 5, but especially how fucking pissed you can tell Ray is from the way he is breathing and how drunk and ready to continue a fight he is by him being unsteady on his feet

gif by @bird-inacage

And as an aside, some of my takeaways from watching characters aren’t so much about the characters, but about the actors. For example, Saint in Step by Step is too stiff all the time, like he’s aware of the camera and he’s not comfortable being there, and I had hoped as time went on in the show he would give a stronger performance because I could see the bones there, but he just didn’t have the fluidity. And there were a couple scenes towards the end of Step by Step where I do genuinely think he showed major improvement from where he started. 

Similarly, Copter as Lomfon in La Pluie is very stiff, and seeing the behind the scenes, that seems to just be how Copter himself is. But pairing him with Suar is going to make it difficult for Copter to shine in my opinion because of how relaxed and expressive Suar is as an actor.

Speaking of expressions…

Facial Expression 

“Yeah, yeah, Captain Hands, facial expressions, obviously” 

Okay but like, I really really struggle when it comes to microexpressions, and I will watch scenes like four or more times in a row staring only at one character’s face to try to see everything they are doing with their face so I can get a better understanding of how they are reacting, what they are thinking, or feeling. I did this for Phupa a ton in Our Skyy 2 because at someone point in it, and possibly because I have become more familiar with Earth at this point and can read his face much better, something clicked and I started being able to see Phupa’s reactions much more clearly. 

Great example of this (especially in conjunction with posture) is Shiro in What Did You Eat Yesterday? when he fights with Kenji, and tells Kenji to leave and Kenji turns to go. You can see the panic set in to Shiro’s face, the way his mouth drops open, and he kinda moves his jaw like he’s trying to think of something to say. It is such a beautiful demonstration of how deeply Shiro loves Kenji, seeing how scared Shiro is of actually losing him, even when he is incapable of saying “I love you” to Kenji. And that set up early on really helps guide the show, and builds wonderfully up to Shiro’s panicked breakdown near the end of the WDYEY movie when he thinks Kenji is dying cause he dyed his hair. 

gif by @dengswei

Or the way Kenji's face falls when Shiro says "I know you're hurting"

Other examples of very busy faces with lots of things going on that tell me a great deal of information about the characters: Sengtian in La Pluie when he’s watching Lomfon’s video, his jaw drops ever so slightly and quirks to the side a bit and you can tell he’s mad even before he storms out; Akk in The Eclipse, I mean I feel like this one doesn’t really need an explanation, but god is there some good frustrated intakes of breath when Ayan needles at him; Yutaka and Minoru in Our Dining Table (are great examples of eye movement as well) but when Minoru is rambling about his feeling for Yutaka and Yutaka opens his mouth slightly and takes in a breath like he’s going to speak, and then he doesn’t? Superb; 

Sorry to keep bringing up the same handful of shows but they are the ones I’ve watched more recently so they’re what immediately springs to mind. But, in Episode 8 of Only Friends you can tell Ray is feeling kinda bad from very early on in the conversation because he swallows hard after Sand asks about Mew and then has varying levels of face fall when Sand hits him with yet another passive comment.

Aura

God, I do not know how to explain this one at all, because it’s not something I am really actively investigating, but does very much shape how I engage with certain characters, and that is just the invisible vibe they give off. And yes, I understand that an aura is an intangible thing, but to give off an aura in television requires a number of physical elements all working in tandem. Teh, for example just radiates anxiety, frenetic energy, and there are a number of little things Billkin is doing like posture, like eye movement, like facial expression to aide that but those are things that would usually tell me that Teh is anxious, rather than me getting hit with a wave of anxiety through my screen. Similarly the believability of the magnetism between Teh and Oh in PP’s performance, as well as PP and Billkin’s work as scene partners that you can feel the pull between them. 

gif by @tehohaews

I could ramble ever longer as I am sure you are aware, but I will stop here for the sake of making sure whoever is reading this is maintaining even a single scrap of sanity after my very long winded reply. Hope this answered your question? 

TL;DR: Beyond hands I look at eyelids, eyebrows, eye movement, eye shine, posture, and facial expressions including hard swallows and sharp intakes of breath to get a sense of what a character is thinking or feeling.

[myemuisemo]

Is there a gas leak at Baskerville Hall? I am so frustrated with my cinnamon roll Dr. Watson in chapter VIII of The Hound of the Baskervilles. We've suddenly gone epistolary, which fits the Wilkie Collins mood of all the derring-don't. and Watson has. lost. his. mind.

Selden the Murderer has either "got clean away" or been lurking in a neolithic hut, occasionally tackling and gnawing sheep for nourishment. (Here's Grimspound, as an example of neolithic huts.) Given that Baskerville Hall and Merripit Hall are both sparsely staffed (and Lafter Hall may be as well), Selden could just move into a disused wing and pilfer pies from the kitchen.

Mr. Frankland of Lafter Hall is nothing like the modern MP I expected (which is not Watson's fault), being instead a "choleric" old man who enjoys bringing law suits. "Apart from the law he seems a kindly, good-natured person," Watson says, thereby lining up with the legions of men who've refuted claims that a fellow man is awful by saying well, but he's always nice to me.

It would not in the least surprise me if Mr. Frankland had a long-term plan regarding property rights in Devon, and Watson just never thought to ask.

Speaking of asking, directly inquiring of Barrymore whether he got the telegram seems pointless because:

If he was up to no good, he knows he needs to lie and will.

If he isn't up to no good, his true answer will be exactly the same as if he were lying.

Meanwhile, because Mrs. Barrymore is a stolid, muscular sort of woman, nobody asks what overwhelming grief has her sobbing in the night. Watson does entertain the idea that her husband is a "domestic tyrant," but he does nothing about it.

Our old friend James Mortimer drops by with a skull he dug up because of course he desecrates graves. To be fair, grave robbing for cadavers to use in medical school was still done in the 1880s, so Mortimer wouldn't feel the kind of ick that we do. (Here's an article from Smithsonian and also a tangentially relevant article on how, in the U.S., it was usually Black cadavers that were disrespectfully obtained.) Since Mr. Frankland intends to sue Mortimer over this, perhaps Frankland does have an enlightened agenda that he's working toward, one brief at a time.

Where is Mrs. Mortimer? Sir Henry and Dr. Watson are entertaining Mr. Stapleton and Miss Stapleton somewhat regularly. it would seem little trouble to make it six at the dinner table and have another woman to accompany Miss Stapleton to the parlor for tea while the gentlemen remain at the dining table to pass port and cigars.

Meanwhile, previously daffy and harmless butterfly-chaser Jack Stapleton has developed "a dry glitter in his eyes, and a firm set of his thin lips, which goes with a positive and possibly a harsh nature." I feel like Watson is struggling to find a new man to focus on, now that his recent crush, Sir Henry Baskerville, is showing interest in the "exotic" Beryl Stapleton.

Watson is troubled that Beryl is seen to "continually glance at him [Stapleton] as she talked as if seeking approbation for what she said." WATSON. He's her brother. She's a woman in 1889. Yes, they might be hiding a terrible secret, but she also has no real power to do anything without her brother's approval. Watson hangs on the tiniest potential clues of a rocky family relationship for the beauteous Beryl but downplays big, flashing red signs saying FAMILY TROUBLE HERE from Mrs. Barrymore.

One would imagine that such a match would be very welcome to Stapleton, and yet I have more than once caught a look of the strongest disapprobation in his face when Sir Henry has been paying some attention to his sister. 

WATSON. What did Beryl do the minute she met you? Thinking you were Sir Henry, she told you to flee the moor. If her brother is up to something nefarious, of course he doesn't want her talking to Sir Henry. If she's merely superstitious, there's still the danger she'll drive away the only nearby gentry to batten on for dinners and socializing.

Maybe Beryl isn't that into Sir Henry but feels she can't say anything without ruining her only opportunity to socialize at all. I mean, it'd be gothic af to reveal that she's actually Stapleton's wife and maybe also the daughter of Rodger Baskerville, but there are other, simpler explanations for a little tension in the air.

In the vein of simpler explanations, Watson finds Barrymore skulking about Baskerville Hall in the wee hours of the night. "[T]here was something indescribably guilty and furtive in his whole appearance." Yes, Watson: because it's two in the morning. Everyone looks guilty at two in the morning, padding about trying not to wake anyone up.

Barrymore appears to be signaling with a candle from a window, which could be hound-related or Selden-the-murderer-related but could also have the simple, traditional explanation of smuggling.

Watson and Sir Henry have a plan to investigate this. I do not feel at all sanguine about their abilities to do anything other than blunder about, tripping over each other and shooting at the shadows.

If Sherlock Holmes suddenly appeared, having been disguised as Perkins the groom, the elderly Merripit Hall butler, or even one of the moor sheep, I would be so relieved.

This is one of those weeks when I viscerally understand how there was a huge Holmes fandom all discussing, arguing, and predicting between installments.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Blind techno you say? 👀👀👀 i am looking disrespectfully. I am drooling, gnawing on the bars of my enclosure. Not at all projecting, no never.

It was one of the very first AUs I came up with (if not THE very first) looking at my doc, wrote it down in February of 2021 <3

[littlemissmanga]

I am very disrespectfully asking for “He was looking at your ass and that ass is mine.” with Crosshair 🫶

Orders received! And I am most disrespectfully saying hell yes!

This is why I love prompts like this - I never would have read this and thought of Crosshair. But you did and now I have THOTS. (also fucking win for the Jack Black gif)

I (again) blew through the 200 word limit, but this isn't too bad.

Send me one of the following for a 200 word clone drabble

Pairing: Crosshair x (gn) Reader

W/C: 478

Warnings: SFW but groping and implications, mentions of impact play, possessive Crosshair (is he ever not?)

He cut through the crowd like a blaster bolt, unconcerned by the way his shoulders pushed the other bar patrons aside. The only thing he was concerned with at all was you … and the sleemo dancing far too close, eyes roving over you.

You didn’t look too concerned. In fact, you looked a little too comfortable for his liking. Crosshair knew if you wanted you could lay the man on his back in 30 seconds. You were choosing to indulge him.

Maybe you both needed a lesson.

With just a few more strides, he came up next to you, grabbing your arm and deftly pulling you into him. You turned and looked up, the shock in them melting to something softer in recognition. Before you could even offer a greeting, his lips were on yours — forceful, demanding, incessant. Not satisfied yet, Crosshair wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you into him as he let his hand slide lower to grab your ass possessively.

Your little yelp only inspired him to deepen the kiss, claiming your mouth with his and savoring your taste.

His eyes snapped open and cut to the man behind you, smirking at the flustered and indignant face he wore. “Can I help you?” he mocked.

Cross could feel your head turning to look over your shoulder, but his arms held you firmly in place, preventing you from catching the other man’s gaze. “Cross…”

It only took two heartbeats for the man to understand his message and leave.

“Crosshair,” you repeated pointedly, bringing his attention back to you. Gods he loved holding you so close, looking down at you all pressed up against him like this, proving to himself and everyone else that you were his. “What the blasted hells was that about?”

“He was looking at your ass,” he said, leaning down to nip at your pouting lip. You were so cute when you acted like you hated his behavior. But the way you pushed in closer and let him slip his leg between yours told him otherwise. “And that ass is mine.”

Driving his point home, Crosshair grabbed your ass with both hands, pulling you just to the tips of your toes so you rested your weight entirely on him. “Don’t make me remind you again, doll,” he warned with a squeeze.

He could feel himself hardening as your lips parted, shiny from his spit and the tacky gloss you coated them with. But fuck if the way you smiled, open mouthed and hungry eyed didn’t make him want to take you right there.

“Or else what?”

Karking tease. You were doing it on purpose.

Leaning in close, Crosshair made sure you looked him dead in the eye when he hissed, “Or else I’ll mark it up so much not a soul in the galaxy will question who you belong to.”

A/N: IDK why shit like this is so damn indulgent when this behavior is so awful IRL. But god this was fun to sink into and write.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 12 ⤍ looking disrespectfully

currently, you were live-streaming playing valorant with gaeul, jiwon, rei, and hyunseo. you were all on a winning streak.

since the games were going well, you only interacted with chat when you were dead,. 

as you were catching up thanking some subs and bits that you recived, you read a comment that got your attention immediately.

user1 GO TO KAZUHA'S STREAM RN

"why? i swear if she's doing something to expose me again i'm actually fighting her" since you were dead you decided to tab out and check her stream before the next round started. 

once you pulled her stream up, you immediately saw why people were urging you to join it.

this girl is really shoving her abs in the camera and then smiling like innocently like she didn't do what she just did.

gameryn i am looking very disrespectfully rn 😍

gameryn I MOANED

once your team noticed you were out of the game and you weren't responding gaeul yelled at you, "y/n! y/n! get your head in the game!"

"shit" you freaked out tabbing back into the game, "sorry my bad. i'm here, ready to play. i'm back"

you quickly bought your loadout and ran to where the rest of the team was. you saw that you had a couple of more seconds before the round started, so you picked up your phone to send a quick message to kazuha.

you played through the round, but once the last person was killed you opened up kazuha's stream on your second monitor. since she was doing a workout stream she wasn't paying as much attention to chat which led you to say whatever you wanted in the chat.

gameryn MY EYES ONLY PLZZ

gameryn THE WAY I'M ACTUALLY IN LUV

gameryn MY LITERAL LOVER

username1 kind of parasocial @gameryn

gameryn parasocial? we're literally dating

username2 that's funny because that's literally my wife @gameryn

gameryn don't lie, she's only loyal to me

gameryn i'm jk we can all be delulu together

kazuha finished the workout session and took the time to look at the comments. she responded to some questions, and laughed while reading your comments arguing with her community.

"y/n me and kkura were talking about how our video is almost at 100K. we're going to have to start planning part two soon"

gameryn SHE NOTICED ME

gameryn but damn i didn't know it would happen this soon

"i did tell everybody i know to like it so this would happen faster"

gameryn u really wanna see me again that bad😉

"and if it was" kazuha responded.

gameryn i mean i wouldn't complain

"but y/n we still have to plan a day for a horror game" kazuha reminded.

you almost closed out of her stream and acted like you never heard anything after that.

gameryn nvm y'all can have her

"come on we have to do it for the ynzuha shippers" she said referring to the number of people agreeing with her in chat.

gameryn nobody even asked for it until u brought it up

"please it'll be so fun" kazuha begged.

gameryn fine ig i'll do it...

"everybody take a screenshot so y/n can't back out" kazuha told her chat excitedly.

after that, you had the time to ask yourself why you just agreed, but you also had the time to notice that you were still in a valorant game.

"y/n is really quiet today" hyunseo pointed out.

"it's because y/n keeps tabbing out when she's dead" rei complained making you look back at the game and finally take notice of your death count compared to everyone else's.

"i'm actually not tabbing out anymore" you retorted. i'm just using my second monitor.

"if we want to win we need y/n to be 100% in" jiwon declared.

"i am 100% in. i only stop paying attention to the game when i'm dead"

"are you dying on purpose to do whatever you're distracted with"

"no of course not" you said not convincing anybody with the tone.

when kazuha ended her stream you closed out of the tab on your second monitor, putting your attention back on the game you were playing.

"okay, i will be fully focused from now on" you sat up in your seat, and leaned closer to your monitor.

and you were until kazuha responded to your text from earlier.

"chat kazuha just invited me over but the last game just started" you told your chat as you put your phone down, "i need y'all to not snitch on me so i can get ready"

you turned your camera off so you could do your face routine and brush your teeth. didn't need anybody taking any screenshots of those moments.

you took the time while the game was loading in and the period of time before the first round starts to do a speed run of your face routine. luckily the game took forever to load in so by the time the first round was about to start you only had your face mask left.

rei noticing you were still afk asked you, "y/n what are you even doing right now"

"sorry i'm in the middle of my face routine right now" you apologized as you grabbed your face mask for the last step.

"ain't no way you're doing this again" rei said, "it's my rank up game y/n"

"i'm not even that distracted this time" you said as you ran to a random site.

the game was going well at 10-2 at the second half. everybody was warmed up, plus you had the dedication to get out of the game so you could leave and everybody else wanted to help rei rank up.

"this game needs to hurry up. i'm trying to get the fuck out of here" you expressed.

"same" hyunseo agreed, "are you tired too?"

"no, i'm going out after this game is over"

"since when?" gaeul asked.

"since i got invited" you answered like it was obvious.

"where are you even going? we don't have anything planned tonight" jiwon asked you.

"to hang out with one my friends" you informed her.

"huh? at this time?" jiwon checked her time again only to see it was indeed 11 o'clock.

"one of my friends just texted me and asked me to come over. it was last minute" you explained.

"can you at least finish the game"

"i am. i'm just getting ready so i can leave as soon as the game is over" you said.

at match point, you decided to brush your teeth which didn't turn out to be a good idea because you needed your other hand to actually play.

"sage and raze are both lit" you called out slightly muffled because you were brushing your teeth.

"huh? what did you even just say?" jiwon asked confused.

"sage and raze are both lit" you repeated after you moved the toothbrush out of your mouth.

"1 hookah, out hookah" jiwon one-tapped the sage killing her instantly.

jiwon sent out a blind while backing into garden.

"you win these liz" hyunseo whispered.

jiwon killed the last person with another one-tap winning the game.

you unmuted and cheered for both jiwon and rei, "congrats on ranking up rei. i'm so proud of you i really watched you grow up" you left the call not waiting for any type of response. you turned your camera back on to say your goodbyes to your stream. after ending the stream you got ready to leave for kazuha's house.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[leafkingofbirds]

Next chapter Preview: Eclipse Edition!

In honor of the total solar eclipse today, have this snippet I just finished writing! 😄

**this is still a first draft and you may find typos. But I am open to feedback & suggestions! 🥰

***

Somehow, Kieran winds up at the base of Sir Monty’s favorite tree. On his knees, his heart pounding, staring blankly at the dirt but seeing nothing. Too lost in his own mind and the troubles of his soul.

Give me peace, he begs whatever unseen force rules over life and death. Give me clarity. I must be everything Ella needs me to be.

But there is no divine intervention. Only himself, alone. As it has always been, since the death of his mother.

He would have sought his mother's grave, but the royal mausoleum is buried beneath the rubble of the destroyed Full Moon Chamber. 

Instead he has come to Sir Monty’s. The last parental figure he would ever have.

His oldest friend is gone to the tyrant’s side. Whether Oleander has betrayed Kieran or has some plan up their sleeve doesn’t matter. Oleander isn’t here to give any of their sage advice.

Dear Longclaw has her own heavy grief. Even her big heart is weighed down with the loss of not only the last of her beloved family – as abhorrent as Radiance was – but the loss of her own sense of self. It wouldn’t be fair to ask for her help, even if she was currently capable of giving it.

Ella would try to be there for him. But to go to her would be worse than dealing with it alone. Her heartless state is but more evidence of his failure and his guilt. 

“Mother,” Kieran gasps aloud without meaning to. A deep-set plea to a woman he had not set eyes upon since he was almost too young to remember and who will never answer his cries again. 

The word only opens the wound inside him, digging deeper, ripping open old wounds until they bled anew. His mother is the reason for all of this. Jack is the reason.

As if called by Kieran's very thoughts, he hears soft footsteps in the grass cautiously approach behind him. 

“So this is where you ran off to,” Jack muses. His voice is subdued. A hush has fallen over the entire place in the wake of the battle, an aura of death and defeat.

“Leave me,” Kieran growls without turning around.

Instead, the footsteps only come closer. To Kieran's shock and irritation, Jack kneels before the small square of stone at the base of the old, broken oak.

A stone marker had been installed at the base of the tree. Oleander had quietly decided upon the wordering and installed it themselves, after Kieran had irritably snapped at them “I don’t give a damn; do it yourself!” 

It was not enough to describe all that Sir Montgomery was in life, but then, no headstone would ever be able to capture the entirety of a man’s soul.

Here Rests the Most Honorable

Sir Montgomery Snow

Who Gave His Mortal Life

In Service to the Moon Court

For a long moment, Jack gazes at the headstone in silence, his expression intense and unreadable. He looks almost angry. 

Kieran braces himself to hear Jack say something vicious, and knows he won't be able to hold himself back this time if Jack speaks disrespectfully about Sir Monty before his very grave.

Then, Jack sighs deeply, hands on his thighs, and hangs his head. Kieran peers at him curiously.

“We have both suffered the loss of the most important people in our lives,” Jack says finally. He glances up at Kieran ruefully, his expression for once vulnerable and sincere. “Haven't we?”

Kieran can only glare at him. 

Jack looks back toward Monty’s headstone. “I want to say I regret what I've taken from you. But the truth is, if I had not killed Monty, he would have killed me. And I can't apologize for not allowing that to happen. Not honestly. Because I was not just fighting this battle for myself, and I owed it to those people in there that I would let nothing and no one stand in my way. No matter how noble.” 

There's a silence where Kieran considers leaping at him at closing his hands over Jack’s throat. But there isn't enough energy in him now. What would be the point? 

“But I regret the pain I have caused,” Jack says, in a way that makes Kieran think he's never apologized before in his life and it's physically painful for him. “I know that's foolish. I can't wish the past undone and know I would have changed nothing, all at the same time.”

“You wish it hadn't come to this,” Kieran manages to say, surprised at how rough his voice sounds, how close to tears. He can't even look at Jack.

“Yes.”

Kieran scoffs. “So do I.”

Not that it mattered what any of them wished. Wishes are futile things, even for Fae.

“Nothing I can say will undo the damage I've done. Believe me, I'm well aware,” Jack says bitterly. “But I want to say this anyway: I was wrong about you. I was wrong about so many things that it makes my blood boil to look back on it. About Sir Montgomery and Eisa. About the right way to fight for equality in this realm.”

“You were wrong about Ella,” Kieran reminds him snappishly.

Jack has the gall to look surprised. Then embarrassed.  “I…yes.” 

Kieran raises his brow expectantly, demanding a better answer than that. 

Jack sighs explosively and runs a hand through his hair. “I thought her addled at best, foolishly naive at worst. I thought you were like every other Fae I had ever had the misfortune of meeting, who had dazzled and enthralled an unwitting human into doing your bidding. But…you truly love her, don’t you?”

“With all that I am.” Kieran feels his hands clench into fists. “Ella has the most pure and genuine heart for others I’ve ever known a mortal to have. And a stubborn, inner strength that has never ceased to impress me. She is braver than any Fae I have ever met. That you misjudged her angers me even more than being misjudged. And that she is in my palace right now, heartless, where she should have been safe, angers me more than anything else.”

“You feel like you failed her.” It’s a statement, not a question. Jack gazes at him evenly.

“I did fail her,” Kieran snaps. “She felt she had no choice but to use the Immortality Curse, because this realm is so dangerous for mortals. I didn’t do enough to ensure she felt safe among Fae. I wasn’t able to break her curse, despite my promise that my love would be strong enough to save her. And yes, I ignored the threat of your Eclipse and the suffering you endured, as generations of Moon Court heirs have done before me. I own that mistake as wholly mine. But, Jack - it was your arrogance and prejudice didn’t want to believe Fae lives were in any way worth sparing. You came to kill us without knowing us. Without giving us even a chance.”

Jack’s brow wrinkles. “To be fair, that is exactly how mortals have been treated by Fae for the entirety of history.”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

Jack looks contrite. “No. It doesn’t.”

“I'm glad we can agree on something,” Kieran mutters. 

“Perhaps that's why I was too late to save my father,” Jack muses quietly, as if to himself. “His innocent life, spent in payment for my sins. I live now only because you demand it, Kieran - else I would fall on that damned sword as penance. And I will do what I can to help fix this. But some things I can't fix. And for that…I truly am sorry.”

Kieran's eyes fill with tears, hot and angry. He can feel Jack’s gaze on him, and doesn't meet it.  His emotions war in such a furious swirling tempest he can't keep track of any of them - he doesn't even try to name them.

What strikes him, though, is how much of Jack's words mirror Kieran's own internal guilt. 

An innocent life paid the price of my arrogance.

I would fall on my sword for my failure.

Some things I can't fix.

Kieran senses himself at a fork in the road. He can do what his old self would have done - the bitter, broken, cold version that used viciousness to isolate himself and wallowed in his own misery - and rebuff Jack’s attempt to repent. Jack would live, but they would be forever strangers. Forever estranged.

Or he can be the man Ella always believed him to be. The man Kieran strives to live up to.

Kieran lets out a long sigh. “I can’t forgive you, Jack. Not yet. But I accept your apology. I believe it’s sincerely offered.”

“If nothing else, know that I am a man who means what he says.” Jack’s level gaze doesn’t waver. He shows no sign of discomfort from kneeling so long in the dirt, even though the gashes Kieran had delt to his flank are barely scabbed over. Up close, Kieran can see the disciplined way Jack holds himself. The quiet confidence of a true warrior. This has been his life's sole purpose, and Kieran realizes, just now, how broken Jack must also feel.

“We are two of a kind that way,” Kieran answers quietly.

Jack huffs a short laugh, then grows serious again. “Kieran…for what it’s worth? I’m sorry for what happened to Ella. I hope, one day, she will be restored. And on that day, I will ask her forgiveness as well.” Jack climbs to his feet and idly brushes off his knees. “I think my chances will be better if I wait until then.”

The harsh bark of a laugh that escapes Kieran's throat just then doesn't slow Jack's steps, and soon Kieran is alone again beneath this silent, doomed tree.

His laugh turns into a sob.

His hands claw the grass and hard-packed earth as if he could tear it away. Rip open the grave beneath his feet and demand it all to be different, for fate to change according to his will, for the chance to go back in time and undo his mistakes, to unravel all the terrible things that have happened.

But he’s powerless now, and his hands can no more open a hole to bury himself than they could bring back the dead. 

Kieran puts his forehead to the earth in defeat, and lets himself weep like he has not done in a hundred years.

[hotchs-big-hands]

au where mostly everything is the same except arranged marriages are normalized and you can pretend like haley and jack dont exist if you want also aaron is lowkey a perv but nothing here is noncon. this was longer than i meant it to be and i still wanna write more im just too lazy to type it out rn 🤪

okayokaySO um idk why yall are getting married uuh hotch wants a wife because he misses coming home to a partner and you just couldnt be assed to find a man so yall get married i guess. youre a lot more hesitant of the whole thing than he is because he is actively seeking out partnership and youre just going along with it because you dont believe in true love or some shit. so during the initial courting/engagement period aaron is trying sooo hard to show you hell be a good husband to you but you're resisting believing him bc many men make promises and fail to deliver on them when the time comes so youre takin it with a big grain of salt.

but once you guys marry and leave for youre honeymoon youre ungodly anxious bc you havent been like alone alone with him before and now youre gonna be spending 2 weeks in another country with him. your mom insisted on packing your clothes for you because "you never know how to dress for the occasion" (like wow what the fuck mom) so when you guys finally get to your resort at like 2 am the only thing you want is sleep but when you open your suitcase all your sleep clothes are fucking lingerie and lacy slips and tiny nighties and you curse your mother into oblivion. so youre like 🧍🏻‍♀️accepting defeat and choosing the least slutty thing in your suitcase to wear and when aaron sees you wearing a thin lace trimmed silk little slip dress that stops barely below your ass he is like 👀‼️ looking very disrespectfully. and when you scamper into bed red in the face he is already plotting how to get that slip off you and on the floor. and slides in bed next to you grinning as he shuts off the lamp.

hes carefully reaching across the bed and gently grabbing your arm, pulling you closer to him and when you whine in protest he hushes you and says "cmon honey youre my wife now. at least one cuddle for consummation?" and you grumble because like yeah fine i can get down with a cuddle. so you scoot your back up against his chest and let him wrap his arms around you, one hand pressed right up underneath your breasts and the other spread wide over your lower belly. and you lay like that for a few minutes until aaron slowly rubs your belly and breathes softly in your ear before hes pressing up tighter against you, not so subtly rubbing his hardening cock right through the gap between your ass cheeks. and he lets his hand rub down lower until he's grabbing the hem of your slip and tugging it upwards. without warning hes shoving his hand into your (very tiny) thong and rubbing at your clit.

and when you gasp and your hands shoots to grab his wrist hes shushing you gently in the ear and whispering "no honey dont worry. not gonna hurt ya. just wanna feel you pretty girl. thats what you are you know? youre my pretty girl. my pretty girl. my wife. mine to hold, mine to touch, mine to fuck, mine to love. be good and lay there like a good girl and take it yeah? promise youll feel good." and then hes slipping two fingers into your needy heat. and pumping them in and out of you slowly, curving his fingers to press right up into that one delicious spot. and when you gasp and try to squirm away his other arm latches around you pulling back flush against his form so he can keep grinding harshly into you.

it doesnt take long at all for you to come on his fingers, your orgasm seemingly taking you by surprise because you gasp so loudly and grip so tightly at his arm around you. and before you can finish coming down hes got his boxer briefs pushed down, your hips pulled back and his the thick heavy head of his cock prodding at your entrance. your head still fuzzy you stutter at him to let you catch your breath at least but he just attaches his mouth to a pulse point on your throat and pushes in, bullying his cock into your tight little hole with short but firm thrusts. he isnt even bottomed out and youve already started whimpering for more like a cockdrunk slut.

OHMYGODDDDDD THIS IS SO 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 YAWL GOTTA DO A SERIES ON THIS I SWEAR THIS IS SO HOT GURLIE HHHHHH

[gradienta]

How to be NOT normal about a boy, Ji Hyun edition. Part 2

Part 1

Next question Ji Hyun desperately needs to answer is whether they are flirting or Jae Won is an affectionate friend. He HAS seen him kiss his terrible friend while drunk, and he hugs pretty much every one of his friends, so WHAT ARE THEY? My dude tries to look normal while being sooo not calm about his crush.

Jae Won doesn't seem to remember his name, which is not great, but at least Ji Hyun gets THE BOY's last name. But they don't share a room. This trip is such a rollercoaster for my poor dude. (COME ON, you need to be STRONG! It's okay to get mad because of love but at least TRY to be calmer, Ji Hyun!)

The freshmen look so releved not to share the room with the seniors. Couldn't be Ji Hyun. My dude is GREEDY, he's swap rooms in a heartbeat.

JAE WON supported him after he introduced himself publically! (CALM DOWN, EVERYTHING IS FINE) JAE WON IS GOING TO TEACH HIM SWIMMING (OH GOD OH GOD MY DUDE IS NOT FINE, I AM NOT FINE, NOBODY IS FINE)

It's not that Ji Hyun is self-conscious about his body, it's just the only way to make the situation more unbearable would be if Jae Won was also undressed. (They would have a problem, wouldn't they? They would.) Even now my dude is struggling to breathe properly and doesn't know where to look. (CALM DOWN, SOLDIER!!!)

HE TOUCHES JAE WON'S BACK AND NECK (nobody is fine, everyone is deceased). I bet Ji Hyun at the same time blesses and curses the people who invented these wetsuits. (IF ONLY YOU KNEW, HONEY, but you're too busy being horny and trying to suppress your urges)

MY DUDE IS CAUGHT RED-HANDED, and he panics so hard that he has to remind Jae Won about him giving the green light. He has overdone it again? (No, my dear, but stop panicking and be snarky because you're flustered.)

With this amount of touching and compliments, I wonder how my dude is holding it together. It seems very difficult.

My dude is not tired, but he IS GOING TO BURST IF JAE WON DOESN'T STOP. Being normal about a boy would be much easier if Jae Won was acting like a normal senior! But now? NO CHANCE.

Ji Hyun doesn't touch Jae Won back (HE WOULD FIND OUT ABOUT HIS FEELINGS IMMEDIATELY), but does it matter when Jae Won touches him SO MUCH and takes care of him?

HOW TO BE NORMAL ABOUT A BOY WHEN BOTH OF YOU ARE NAKED IN THE SHOWER? AND THE BOY IS TEASING YOU AND SAYING YOU SHOULD COME CLOSER? Ji Hyun is trying not to look disrespectfully, but he is, again, not the God's strongest soldier. He can't help but look. Also, naked touching. Don't start anything you can't finish, Jae Won, because this dude is losing his control VERY quickly.

Ji Hyun seeks Jae Won's company, and even though he doesn't touch, he is close.

But Jae Won just keeps touching, and my dude just has to be in close proximity to get those hands on him all the time. How easy is that? Don't tempt him!

Jae Won's "I like Ji Hyun" during the game makes my dude bluescreen SO HARD. My poor little meow meow! Everyone will KNOW if you say you like him too but STOP PANICKING!

What could be better than looking into your crush's eyes, sitting near a campfire and listening to a romantic song? NOTHING. Okay, maybe kissing your crush, but this is pretty close too! Ohhhh Ji Hyun wants to kiss him so much he can't look away. HE IS NOT FINE.

Ji Hyun is not slow, and he knows there's totally some drama between the surfing girl and Jae Won, but he's not going to ask, and that's why it's so unexpected that Jae Won kisses him. He is obviously upset because of the girl, and next minute his lips are on Ji Hyun's, and next minute he is gone, their kiss interrupted by their group. And he is ignoring Ji Hyun, not allowing to get closer and not touching him. Ah, and he kisses his terrible friend again (not snogging him though, and I think Ji Hyun would have cried otherwise).

Ji Hyun can't understand anything, but one thing is clear - the light is not green anymore, and it's heartbreaking how NOT OKAY he is about it. He didn't even overdo it, and it wasn't his fault.

How to be totally normal about a boy, Jae Won edition

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Byakuya Kuchiki (Bleach) Short Story: Chapter 2

“(L/N)-san, follow me.” 

“Hai!” 

“Fix your form when you fight.” 

“Hai!!” 

“Don’t lag behind.” 

“Hail!!” 

“You should be more focused. One mistake can be fatal.” 

“Hai!!” 

The reapers around have started to notice a pattern in the last few days. 

You weren’t even a member of the sixth squad, yet it seemed like you’d become a gopher for Byakuya. Of course some of them wanted to say something, but no one was brave enough to challenge the noble. 

“I feel sorry for her.” 

One of the reapers mumbled as you walked behind Byakuya, trying to keep your head up and your stride firm. You did your best to ignore the words of others, but it's hard sometimes. You knew they pitied you. 

You weren’t a fighter. You weren’t even sure how it turned out like this. Byakuya has requested you more and more for missions and somehow you’re his unspoken apprentice. It’s weird. That night it felt like you’d seen him in a different light. Yet, not much has really changed. You’re still just an average reaper standing next to a prodigy. 

Despite that, you try to keep your head up. Puffing out your chest, you walk proudly. 

“I’m a reaper! A REAPER! I heal the wounded for goodness sake! I’m a prodigy in my field. Yes I am!” 

The little pep talk in your head has you smiling as you push forward. You’re so invested in your own world that you don’t see when Byakuya glances at his side. 

~

“Damn Kenpachi!” 

Ichigo is grumbling and you smile kindly at him as you heal his wounds. When he crash landed into your squad you were a bit startled, but it made sense the second you saw the head of pink hair on top of a very battle hungry Kenpachi. 

Usually it would take an army to persuade Kenpachi, but one look from Unohana and he had retreated, pledging to return once Ichigo was fully healed. You knew the second the male was done here he’d go running back to his home. If nothing but to avoid the psycho that is Kenpachi.

“All done!” 

Ichigo tilts his head, then begins flexing his arm. 

“Wow, thanks. You seem to be getting done faster each time. You’re awesome.”

The compliment makes you blush. 

“A-Ah, it’s nothing really.” 

You rub your arm bashfully. No one has really commended you on your healing skills before. Yes, Unohana has praised you, but with her it feels almost second nature. The squad eleven members usually just yell and bark orders. 

“T-Thank you for saying that Kurosaki-san. I’m always happy to help.” 

He wears a smile. 

“It must get tiring, always healing me huh.” 

“N-No of course not! It’s always a pleasure to see you!” 

He’s still smiling and you find your cheeks getting darker. 

“Kurosaki Ichigo.” 

Ichigo jumps at the sudden voice. 

“Byakuya! Where the hell do you come from!” 

“What have I told you about addressing me so disrespectfully?” 

Ichigo sweatdrops.

He’s wondering if he dodged one battle to get roped into another. You think he’s going to retaliate, but he just flash steps away. 

You move your stare to Byakuya with a tilt of your head. 

“We have a mission.” 

“H-Hai! L-Let me grab my kit!” 

You go scrambling around the room and Byakuya watches you quietly. 

“She was blushing.” 

It irritates him a bit.

“Ready!”

You slide your zanpakuto onto your hip, and Byakuya just turns as you follow behind. 

“Now that I think about it, he told me to call him Byakuya last time.” 

It’s weird that he wouldn’t let Ichigo address him so casually, but instruct you otherwise. Your gaze trails to his form, and he glimpses at you. 

The action makes your cheeks flame up. You look away hurriedly. 

Hoping that he hasn’t noticed the beats of your heart, or the redness of your face. 

~

It’s not unusual for you to spend time at the thirteenth squad. Jushiro always makes the best tea. 

“I think he’s just trying to make sure I’m not a nuisance.” 

Although he’s been aiding you in your skills as a fighter, you can’t help but wonder if he just pities you. You are one of the more skilled healers aside from Isane and Unohana. So it makes sense that he would ask for your help so frequently. But other than that, there is no real reason for him to insist that you stay at his side. 

You send Rukia a weak smile, and she places her cup down. 

“I know my brother better than anyone. He’s not vocal about anything unless it’s something he feels strongly about. Does he give you corrections?” 

You blink. 

“Now that I think about it, he does. Pretty often too.” 

Rukia’s eyes shift to the cup sitting on her lap. 

“He’s not very good when it comes to affection. His way of protecting the ones close to him is ensuring that they are strong. I believe in his eyes, that’s how expresses care. He doesn’t want to think about what would happen if he’s not there. “

Her words make you evaluate every encounter since that night.

“Your abilities would be more effective if you build your endurance.” 

“Healing shouldn’t limit you.” 

“Don’t take your eyes off your enemy.” 

You can’t believe you’ve never noticed before. You were just so used to his stoic personality. It never occurred to you at all. 

The door slides open, and you look up. Byakuya stands at the entrance. 

“You’re here.” 

He looks as though he hadn’t expected to see you. It’s clear that he’d possibly come to see Rukia.

“I apologize to Ni-san, I lost track of time. I was about to see you before I headed back to the world of the living.” 

Rukia stands, and you do it out of instinct. 

“K-Kuchiki-taicho.” You bow, always out of respect. Jushiro just smiles. 

“I thought I told you to call me Byakuya.” 

The statement stuns both Rukia and Jushiro.

“M-My apologies!” 

You keep your head down, yet don’t verbalize the words. It feels inappropriate to ever address him so loosely. 

“(Y/N).” 

His tone sounds different than usual. For a moment you swore there was just a hint of emotion behind it. You finally lift your head, and his eyes convey so much. You’re a bit breathless. 

“Hai..Byakuya..” 

Your response seems to satisfy him.

“Enjoy the rest of your tea.” 

You swallow, and when Rukia finally collects herself, she gives you a wave as she follows Byakuya out. You simply stare at the space that he once stood. The longer you think about the exchange, the faster your heart begins to beat. 

In a matter of seconds your face is completely red. 

It appears that you have a crush on a certain noble.

[michyeosseo]

What are your thoughts on the purpose of showing the fight with the director cousin? Like... was it just to set up existing tension between them before what will go down at the club or revealing something about semi's character or what?

"before what will go down at the club" wheezing at your wording negl is she gonna start a brawl

♡ the jang semi & her 바비 slay ♡

actually i think that storytelling choice 's a mix of jang semi backstory + plot table setting. find the rest under the cut, caps included~ ^^

no one can ever forget the 10min long confession scene, right? sprinkled into that is our first introduction to semi's background: still has a dad but basically raised around by her relatives.

doyi was trying to rationalize semi's love as mommy issues which our girlie refutes.

her rearing was also brought up in separate episode:

LOUDERRRRRRR

the mother* semi refers to is, as it turns out, her maternal aunt. (koreans call their relatives different depending on whose side of the family they are from, that's how i know.)

and this aunt of hers is the mom of her director cousin, junam.

the way she has him listed in her contact can be read two ways: nam-i as in a nickname or 남 as in stranger. i'd like to think it's the former.

the subs was saying 'only cousin' but what i hear is him emphasizing the younger sibling aspect more to his semi noona.

this circles back to the petty fight that happened.

semi starts but he has a Lot of misgivings: about how semi looks down on his family, about how semi looks down at him, too. just all-around disrespectfully cutting her off when it's supposed to be a family conversation.

the subs go a lil' wonky here going back and forth but clearly it's still semi's aunt that's being referred to as her step/mom...

y'know this is funny in the context of what her and chigang were talking about last time... they had the traditional big wedding as they're the first marriage on both sides.

ok so going back... the food slander is part which mostly earned the cousin that crunchy slap. i mean how very dare u think ill of food she personally cooked what the heck

not to be biased but i am definitely on our babygirl's side here. what's all the pocket money he's been decrying she deprived him off compared to growing up alienated by your own blood at that?

as for the preview, i do not really have a coolheaded response to that other than it seems part of the messy process with which doyi is reexamining her life now that it has been a week (yay!) since semi confessed she's been her heart's desire all along... could lead to angst/comedy/only-im-sunghan-writernim-knows

[diapereddarling]

Hello! It's me, from your notifications! Do you have a summary of your story anywhere? I went through a few character tags, but didn't find one. Also, I love that Damian is disabled but still gets to dress up all fancy. I didn't realize how rare it is to see that.

Hihi :D! I don't really have a story summary yet as a lot is still in planning and it's very wip BUT I can give you some links in semi chronological order of what I have got and also gush about it here!

aaa I'm so glad you like Dorian and how I present him >u< full disclaimer, I myself am a physically abled person. I'm trying my best to write and present him as respectfully as I can with a lot of research and opinions of friends in similar states of disability- but I may be ham fisted or get things wrong, so to anyone who reads this, please let me know if I fuck up somewhere. I'd rather be told I did something wrong or presented something disrespectfully than have people be uncomfortable in silence about it. DISCLAIMER OUT OF THE WAY- Yeah I noticed like, a lot of disabled characters ( be it physical or mental ) don't really get presented as if they like dressing up or looking nice- particularly after trying to look up more disability friendly ways Dorian would probably use. It Sucks lol. At least from the people with mental disabilities side of it where I sit, I can say that ain't true of everyone at all. It's just harder.

ANYWAYS, SUMARY OF POSTS AND STORY RAMBLING

So you can find some character reference stuff from this post here with picrew images- they were mainly so I could get a general idea of the main cast without physically having to draw them quickly

The story so far

The first post chronologically would be this one, as it talks about what happened to Dorian specifically. A bit about his home life, his parents, his neighbour and how he was released from said situation. I'm currently working on figuring out what the antagonist of this section's ties were to which god- but my main goal was to make it feel realistic at first before involving mythos with it. CW: : Stalking, kidnapping, delusions (involving pseudo incest thoughts ), (spinal) injury

After the incident, Dorian was hospital bound for a While. He'd been given a spinal injury, he was severely traumatised and could not be trusted to look after himself after all that yet because he was 6 months into being 18 when Mayline's life time of stalking came to a head. Even with rehabilitation efforts alone, the stint in hospital would've been a long one but then there was also the mental hurdles too. You can read some of that experience here. CW: medical setting, reactions to trauma, involuntary wetting and messing mention, a character being forcibly restrained in a non sexual way and trying to come to terms with mobility loss.

So while he was trying to adjust to his new normal there were a lot of things he would try to do to feel as if his life hadn't drastically changed ( it had, it's unfair that it happened but it is fine that it is now his life. Period of adjustment and all. ) He waited until Mayline's trail had been dealt with to carry on with education because, well. He's scared of her. He wants to know what's going to happen with her before he tried anything. During that time he read a lot, basically exposure therapying himself to the dark stories and stuff he enjoyed before because he didn't want to lose something that he felt made up so much of his identity. It almost definitely wasn't healthy but that is how he dealt with it.

After about a year or two, he decided he wanted to give further education a try. Since he was a kid he wanted to be a baker- he knew at least at the moment it was a pipe dream, mostly because of the various conditions that he has making said environment pretty dangerous. But he wanted to try.

While doing his culinary course, he met Leia. They didn't initially interact that much- very different aesthetics and very different circles. But Leia's a very intense and bubbly lass- so when she saw Dorian reading a book that she'd also wanted to read; there was basically no hesitation in her running up to him to chatter about the book. They became fast friends after that. Becoming friends with Leia helped him a lot in all honesty- Dorian was kind of Terrified of women after the incident ( and felt awful for it ) especially if they shared features with Mayline ( Blonde hair, blue eyes ect ), so Leia being both a woman and having blonde hair helped bring him out of it some what.

Dorian met Steven during the middle of his second year. It was when he decided to get his first tattoo ( the one on his thigh ) and Steven was apprenticing as a tattoo artist at the time. It's kind of difficult to not talk at least a little while going through the pretty long process of being tattooed and they ended up just getting along really well and meshing super well so just continued to meet up when they could because they enjoyed each others company.

Dorian also met Stevens current partner at the time, Charlie. They were all pretty friendly with each other though romantically, Charlie and Steven only lasted about 8 months. They broke it off mutually agreeing they'd be better friends and actually did become much closer as a platonic bestfriends rather than romantic partners. Charlies cool, he helped Dorian solder spikes to the rims of the wheels on his wheelchair to force people to stop trying to get to close lmao. It was his idea.

After university Dorian realised there was no way he could safely hold down a job. The mobility issues were too much to handle in a commercial kitchen setting even without the stress induced narcolepsy. It messed with him for quite a bit.

He lived on the internet for a bit, being fond of niche gothic forums and very surprisingly, still taking interest in true crime. It might've been an interest before his kidnapping but now he just wants to try to understand what the hell was going on in Mayline's head. He met Maxine on one of these forums, they talked about gothic lit for quite a bit before exchanging socials and forming a friendship off that.

During this time Dorian and Steven also started dating- and after about a year and a half, moved in together. They have a lower floor apartment together and one day hope to get a house together. Dorian also got his two kitties, Carmilla and Poe!

While living together Steven suggested to Dorian the idea of videoing himself baking or streaming it. It was kinda him recognising Dorian was trying to get over the hurdle of not being able to do what he wanted since he was a kid but also not wanting to give up completely. It isn't perfect but it works and Dorian finds a lot of fulfilment in it. He doesn't show his face ever, understandably, so he does his best to remain more or less anonymous on the internet with these things :3

All of these characters have been touched by at least one of the gods in in some way in this universe btw. I am figuring out the semantics but ye! That's what I've got so far c:

[vielle-art]

so machine mommy is right at the top, obviously, but where do the other praetors rate on the scale of 'thinking disrespectfully about them'?

HOO BOY. STRAP IN. This is about to get horny, but you did ask so... not my fault!

We will start with Norn, because she's everyone's favourite mommy. 10000/10, would sit in her lap as her fleshy little pet, to sing her praises and give her anything and everything. *And I mean everything*.

Next up, we've got Sheoldred. I want her to wrap all 800 limbs of whatever body she's popped herself into around me and just destroy me. Because she would, for her own gain (idk what value I offer but it's all yours, sweet sheoldred!!), without giving a single fuck. It would be violent and I would say thank you. Only downfall is that I wouldn't survive it to come out the other side... maybe that's a blessing and a curse. 69/10.

Jin. I wanna talk about Jin. Why does he gotta be in those Kamigawan pants? The whole basic of pants is for both adornment, which, lemme be real, mr. Shrimpin' doesn't need, because he is a gd LOOKER with his whole aesthetic, but also to cover up. *What is he covering up?* what kind of monster thing does he have under there, waiting for me to find it? I wanna research whatever's under those fucking pants and learn about it. Intimately. And also- I mean like.. Hi I'm a very willing participant in whatever scientific endeavours he's got going on for the mind. I. Am. In! Bonus - I will survive it, because he'd probably wanna know the after effects, and I'll probably have mush for brains, so like... I see this as a win. 1000/10.

Vorinclex - Large. Apex. Predator. Large in every way. MY GUY. I want him to put his teeth on me. I am more of a vampires/blood over like.. vore but CMON ITS BASICALLY RIGHT THERE IN HIS NAME. As long as it's just excruciating and horrible. Very reasonably, this does fall under the same category as Sheoldred, in that I won't survive him, because I mean... Look at him. The only thing I do think is that if I *could* survive even just one night, somehow, that shit would be ENDLESS because I've proven myself. ABO thoughts/10

And I've left the second best (because Norn bias AYOOOOO) till last. Urabrask? Lover boy. Baby girl. Husband. This guy eats pussy, idk, I don't make the rules, he just does. Ayara absolutely became furnace queen because of his dick, full stop. He would be so unbelievably warm in every single way and honestly I just think he could scorch my skin off and I would have to say thank you because he knows what he's doing and doesn't hesitate. Also because I only found out recently he's not like 20ft tall but closer to like 9? so this is probably one of the more reasonable smashes. 6969/10, would lick glistening oil from his-