#all of that along with those painful ass lyrics

[musclesandhammering]

Completely out of the blue, but the line “Goodbye stranger, it’s been nice. Hope you find your paradise.” + the megstiel death scene has me weeping.

[gorgeys]

stargirl ★ queen maeve

yes i listened to stargirl interlude on repeat while writing this

and thanks to @leeharkerd for this great request!! the ending is a little rushed but i hope i did it justice

warnings: smut - cnc, groping, choking, fingering, name calling

she's been waiting all week for this: you and her lying in bed on your sides, facing each other, sharing a joint as music plays softly in the background.  the only caveat was that you were both fully clothed and over the covers.

her nails rake up and down the side of your bare thigh from your knee to the start of your cream colored sweatshorts, pushing the hem a little higher each time. you seem oblivious as you release a puff of smoke, mindlessly twirling the joint in your other hand as you continue with what you were saying.

your voice blends into the lyrics of the song as all maeve can process is your body laid out in front of her.  she can see the peaks of your nipples through your shirt and those itty bitty shorts which don't hide much at all.  she's dying for you, although your only interest seems to be getting high as a kite.

her hand strays from your thigh and travels higher, gliding along your ass under your shorts.  she can feel the absence of your panties which only eggs her on.

accustomed to her occasional groping, especially when she was high, you carry on talking as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  although you gasp a little when she squeezes and pushes up your ass.

you reach across the small gap between your bodies and raise the joint to her lips, allowing her to take a hit, before you pull it back.

her hand snakes out from under your shorts and wanders up your back instead, below your shirt, of course.  her nails scratch harder into your skin and she can tell you enjoy it from the way your shoulders relax.  but as soon as you're at ease, her hand is rounding your ribcage to your chest and suddenly kneading one of your tits, so roughly that a guttural sound falls from your lips, interrupting your sentence.

"maeve," you caution her.  you grab her upper arm, even though you know you couldn't stop her if you tried.  your chest aches in slight pain from the sheer pressure she had squeezed you with.  she only shrugs, blaming her sudden salaciousness on the weed.

"keep talking," she says absentmindedly, her eyes notably fixated on where her hand still cupped your tit.  you sigh before reluctantly obliging.

she watches through the thin fabric of your shirt as her fingers encircle your breast, occasionally applying pressure that made your breath hitch.  you only kept your lips moving because each time you paused, you were on the receiving end of her intimidating stare that made you think about the consequences and fall back in line.  she relishes in the effort you made to stay straight-faced, though she catches the furrow of your brows and twitch of your lips every time she grips and grabs you.

but you can't take it anymore when her thumb and forefinger suddenly pinch your nipple so hard that you were wailing.

"maeve!" you yelp, trying to push her hand away and get rid of the painful sting.

"stop pretending like you don't love it," she says, her hand only leaving your chest to attend to your neck.  her fingers wrap around your throat and abruptly push you onto your back.  "it's only worse for you when you fight."

you gasp before she starts restricting your airway, pressing your fingers into your skin so hard that they'll leave marks.  she only watches as she chokes you, still nonchalantly lying on her side, leaning on her elbow with her hand supporting her head.  she feels desire build up inside of her as your bottom lip falls, leaving your mouth agape.

"you're a sight for sore eyes, aren't you?" she says with a slight smile.  it's only when no air is entering your lungs and your eyes are on the verge of rolling back that she finally releases you.  she sadistically chuckles as your chest heaves, inhaling desperate breaths of air.

she grabs the wrist of your hand that's holding the joint and raises it to her lips once more.

you're still recovering from your near death experience when her fingers suddenly smack your clothed pussy, jolting your body back to life.  your brain is cloudy both from the weed and lack of oxygen, so you simply listen to your natural instincts and spread your legs wider for her.

"good girl," she says with that smug, lopsided grin of hers as her fingers slip below your waistband.  "see, i knew you loved being abused.  you're soaked." she says, her fingers gliding smoothly along your slit.  she sits up beside you, adjusting herself so she can roughly grab your jaw while she toys with your throbbing pussy.

she turns your head, forcing you too look at her as she quickly swipes her finger over your clit, leaving you mewling without even realizing it.

"you look fucked out and i've barely touched you," she says, collecting your wetness with her fingers before rubbing the slowest circles on your clit.  "does being choked turn you on that much?" she asks, her fingers sneaking toward your neck.  

she rubs her fingers over the column of your throat before her big hand encircles it.  her fingers speed up as she begins to apply pressure with both hands.

"you like that i can use you however i want?  that i can kill you?" it's only a second later that she's embarrassing you with another laugh.  "oh, you do.  i can feel you gushing on my palm." your free hand grabs tightly onto the wrist of the hand that's around your neck.  that, paired with your unwavering eye contact makes her go wild.

she can't help but push two fingers inside of you, watching as your back arches like a cat and your nails dig into her wrist.  she doesn't give you time to adjust, but pumps her fingers into you at a rough pace that urges a strangled noise out of your throat.

"you really are my slut," she says, mostly to herself, as her palm rubs perfectly against your clit, causing you to squirm uncontrollably.  she notices the tears welling up in your eyes and knows you're already embarrassingly close. "you better come before you pass out," she demands.

that incentive helps push you over the edge; your body stiffens and your throat squeaks as your cum coats her hand.  she finally releases your neck but doesn't stop fingering you, even as a tear trails down your cheek.  you whine in between labored breaths.

"sluts never cum once," she tells you without a hint of sympathy.  "they let me use them until i'm satisfied."

[snaillock]

your relationship with bllk men as mitski songs

(kaiser, sae, oliver)

my posting has been very slow recently so to celebrate mitskis new album (and to feed into my eternal obsession for her music and lyricism by combining it with another thing im way too obsessed with), i dug up this old ass draft and finished it instead of giving y’all an actual fic

tags: gn!reader, angst(it’s mitski duh), yeah basically no fluff/comfort in here, suggestive-ish in the oliver one, me being a dork and combining two big interests of mine

michael kaiser - i don’t smoke

So if you need to be mean Be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break More than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm As you break my heart

his career can be a lot on his shoulders at times even with the cocky and arrogant facade he puts on for the performance of each match he plays. he has a tendency to keep it all in to bask in the glory of his luxurious life.

you understand. you know he’s currently too prideful to deal with his true feelings, especially all on his own. you just want to be there to know he isn’t alone and that he can be open with you. so you sit there, giving him a listening ear as he lashes out and releases every awful word in the book towards you when everything finally becomes too much for him to bear. you wouldn’t want him to have a very public meltdown when it happens so it’s better this way. you have remind yourself to take none of it to heart because he doesn’t mean those all harsh words. he just needed an outlet for those frustrations.

you also don’t want the weight and significance of his career to separate you two. you’re already so damn lucky to be with someone like him. you want to prove that you can handle it. you know you can. you’re sure you can help him figure this all out somehow. love just takes compassion and patience, that’s all it is. just taking it one step at a time.

it’s just compassion and patience. right?

Just don't leave me alone Wondering where you are I am stronger than you give me credit for

sae itoshi - i want you

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over and I love you darlin' And I am done, dear

he swears he will make time for you someday. sure those words have been promised over and over again like a broken record but he truly does love you. however you’re starting to wonder if mutual love is truly enough to keep you two going.

the truth is his life is currently too big and important for him to take any focus away from it. the last thing he needs is a distraction. all of which he has very clear multiple times, even along with his contrastingly hopeful promises. though his tone is quite neutral, never letting his emotions seep through as if he’s programmed to do so. meanwhile you have to desperately hold yours back to not seem like an idiot.

it’s never been easy to express how you feel in front of him. you desperately wish you could but the inconsistency of your relationship that’s barely holding up renders it pointless. this over and over/back and forth thing that’s going on between you two is exhausting. it only leaves you lost and confused. you begin to wonder if staying is even worth it at all. even with the speck of hope that it could eventually work out. even if you love him.

You're in the house And I am here in the car I just need a quiet place Where I can scream how I love you

oliver aiku - eric

You like control, well, I do too Take off my clothes and watch me move You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me how you choose

you deeply crave a loving and fulfilling connection with another but unfortunately the other you desire is him. a guy who’s born to be a player and only wants to fool around with multiple people.

you know getting attached would only cause you so much unnecessary pain but your naive heart couldn’t resist him. you know that he doesn’t see you for more than what you give him at night but you were still a fool to fall for him.

enough of a fool to fall for him knowing he’s not ready to settle for one person. you could see it from how you would lovingly gaze at him while he leers at someone else behind you. you would still give yourself up to him if you could, offering anything he wanted out of you.

despite better judgment, you stay with a pained and aching heart. constantly yearning for more.

But how long, how long can we play this way? I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you My heart, my heart wants to hold you But I know, I know, I know the rules

taglist(lemme know if you wanna be added): @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060

[bettyfrommars]

After I saw your blurb game post I just had to run to your inbox

E4, *, 💜

Very excited to see what I get ☺️♥️

Gia you sweet angel, you can have whatever you want 🫠 blurb game

Your Person is that babe Drifter!Eddie, your Place is a Concert Venue, and your Thing is a Payphone

18+ONLY, hints to monster Eddie, yearning, scars, allusions to physical fights and angst, gender neutral reader

word count: 764

Eddie had been on the road for so long, he often forgot what day it was. Was it Saturday or was it Tuesday? You were never far from his thoughts, and the weeks all blurred together.

He wasn't supposed to feel this way, especially not about someone he'd met while on a short visit back to the Midwest.

He took a rubber band out of his pocket to tie his hair back before he picked up another heavy piece of equipment to load it onto the stage with ease. It was the summer of '98 by then, and he'd taken a job as a roadie for Pantera on their European tour for Ozzfest. He hadn't known why at the time, but he needed to get as far away from the states as he could, far away from whatever connection bound him to you.

He was scared shitless that you'd see who he really was and run. Worse yet, what if he woke up from one of those nightmares about the Upside Down and he hurt you? Nah, he wouldn't be able to live with himself then.

He overheard one of the new guys ask, "which one is Eddie?" To which Dimebag Darrell pointed in his direction and said, "the one over there, the one with all the gnarly scars."

It didn't bother him anymore, not like it had in those years right after it happened, when he was so full of rage, he'd pick stupid fights for literally no reason. Back when he wanted to transmute his pain onto others and make them hurt as bad as he hurt.

Backstage that night, while Phil growled out the lyrics for the song This Love, the music pounded in his chest and watching the action under the bright lights made him forget who he was for a second. Through the deafening throb of the crowd, he made his way down along the backstage hallway where he remembered seeing a payphone earlier.

He'd had your phone number written on the back of his hand in black marker for the longest time, and before it faded completely, it was committed it to memory. He always had a way with numbers.

He stared at the box for a hot minute before yanking the receiver off the metal cradle with a curse, as if he'd just lot a bet with it.

He dropped in the quarters for long distance, punched the keypad, it rang, and he held his breath. In the space between the second and third ring, he realized he hadn't remembered to take the time difference into account. Shit, what if he woke you up? No, it had to be the middle of the day still where you were.

If you were still in the same place, if you even wanted to hear from him.

He panicked a little when a voice finally came on the line, but it was your answering machine. Much safer talking to a machine than a real person, so he took a breath to prepare what he would say.

"...just leave your name and number at the beep and I'll get back to you..."

The beep was a long one, felt like it would never end.

He cleared his throat. "Hey, it's me, um, it's Eddie. I know it's been a while but I'm out here in Italy or some shit and I----"

But then your voice came on the line, your real voice this time, and you sounded winded like you'd been exercising or something.

"Eddie? Oh my god, Eddie? Are you still there?"

If only you could see the huge ass grin that spread across his face.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'm still here. How are you?"

You'd been screening your calls, waiting to see who it was, and maybe you'd get back to them later. Since you were on the other side of the apartment, you worried you wouldn't get to the phone fast enough. You'd slipped on the rug and bounced off the wall, landing on your knees in front of the sofa.

"I'm good, I'm..." you trailed off, feeling a wave of relief and happiness so strong, you almost burst into tears. "It's good to hear your voice again."

He ran his thumb along the plastic divide, feeling all lovesick goofy. "Well, I figured, you know, it wouldn't hurt to check in, make sure you're okay or whatever. This tour is nuts, I wish you could see it."

You climbed up on the sofa to hug a pillow, smiling into the receiver.

"Tell me all about it."

[dokyccis]

busy II | h. renjun

it’s been a while !! // part one here.

“sometimes i wonder when are you gonna stop humiliating yourself because of renjun.” yunjin says in a serious, but ironic tone.

it’s been 2 weeks since renjun left you all alone in your apartment. the way your boyfriend left coldly still gives you goosebumps and you feel like crying with the thought of him not loving you anymore.

you’re insecure about all that, you don’t wanna believe your thoughts but you feel like you need to. you need to face reality and accept the truth.

“i don’t humiliate myself.” yunjin chuckles sarcastically when you finally answer. “do i?” you genuinely ask.

“do we really have to answer?” it’s karina’s turn to say something. “that’s obvious, honey. you just need to open your eyes and see what’s going on.” she’s realistic.

maybe they’re right, you think to yourself.

those were 2 weeks of pure silence between you and renjun, he didn’t message you or call you to ask how you’ve been or just to say hi.

you feel like the feeling that used to be like fire burning in yours and renjun’s heart is now dying little by little, and you don’t want that. does renjun want that? you wonder.

you still remember the sweet thoughts you shared with renjun in silent and calm nights at your place, the atmosphere matching the way you two looked at each other and talked to each other so lovingly.

you believed that renjun was the one & only for you and would always be, but destiny stabbed you with it’s tricks.

“y/n, come on! you need to move on, y’know?” yunjin encourages you.

“it’s not like we broke up, yunjin. he just left and…” you pause. “god, i sincerely don’t know what’s going on with renjun.” you sigh deeply and hide your face in your hands.

“he’s just an ass.” karina says, making yunjin laugh and being contaminated by the red haired girl.

you laugh along with your friends, trying to shrug the pain off. it’s like you lost a significant part of you, like your heart has a big hole that��s just filled up with renjun’s presence.

you’re afraid renjun just played with you all this time, but you also can’t believe that. his sweet words, delicate touch and innocent gaze leads you to think the otherwise.

you can’t imagine your life without renjun, your mind and heart refuses to even think of the possibility. you gave your whole self to renjun, dedicating each special part of you to him.

“he may be an asshole, but i still miss him.” you reveal.

“we know that, hun’.” yunjin says, ceasing her laugh. “it’s kind of normal to miss him, though. look what you’ve created within these past 3 years, you had a pretty admirable relationship with renjun, you two were like bee and honey.” she mocks, karina nods her head in agreement.

“it’s okay to miss him, babe, we’re not judging you for that. remember that we’re your best friends, we’re here to help you recover and stay safe over all of this.” karina smiles genuinely, and you can’t be happier to have friends like yours.

“thank you so much, you two.” you smile back, pulling your two best friends into a warm, comforting and loving hug.

a little bit wild, a little bit tamed

it’s the final line, isn’t it?

a little bit lost, a little bit saved

ain’t we all just a little bit hypocrite?

you sing along to your favorite song’s lyrics. all alone at home, you’re totally distracted by the song’s rhythm and melody, like nothing or anyone else could reach you in that moment.

the thin sound of your apartment’s bell leads you out of your own thoughts and immersion, echoing in your head until it gives you a minimum headache.

you get up from the couch, making your way to the front door to open it.

“who the fuck is bothering me this late?” you ask yourself, picking up the key standing in the little desk nearby the door. you open the door.

“hey, how can i help yo-” your body froze when you looked at the person standing in front of you.

it’s like you haven’t looked at renjun for a while, like you two spent 2 years without talking to each other. he looks devastated, and you feel sick with his presence.

you try to shut your door, but renjun doesn’t let you. “please, let’s talk.” he says in a calm and low tone.

your mind doesn’t wanna let him in, but your heart is weak for renjun and everything he does. if he wants something, then you’re giving it to him.

you sigh deeply, letting renjun in before shutting your door and following him to your couch.

you two sat there in silence. renjun was looking at his fingers, maybe thinking of what he could say to you. in the other side, you felt totally restless. your hands were sweating, your heart was beating fast and your vision started getting blurry.

renjun cleared his throat, gaining your attention. you look at him.

“i know i was very immature.” he assumed. “i’m sorry for that.” he looked at you, your gaze meeting.

you immediately look away, not handling keep eye contact with him. “that’s it?” you say without even thinking, the two words swimming out of your mouth.

renjun was taken aback by your response, you could sense the way atmosphere in the room got more tense than it already was.

“what… what do you mean?” he tilts his head towards you in confusion.

every word said by renjun made you feel more and more nervous, like your heart could explode at any moment. “i mean, you ghosted me for 2 weeks, you never explained me why you were acting like that…” you gain courage to look him in the eyes.

“i cannot accept your apology if you can’t explain me what’s happening.” you’re clear. renjun keeps looking at you, looking for answers in your eyes.

“i told you everything’s oka-” you cut him.

“it’s not okay, renjun!” you yell, getting up from the couch with an impulse. “you always say it’s okay, when it’s evidently not okay.” you burst, emphasizing the “not” in the phrase.

“y/n, calm do-” you cut him again.

“how can i calm down?! tell me, renjun! how the heck can i calm down? you didn’t contact me for 2 weeks, i cried everyday because i thought you didn’t love me,” you pause, sighing deeply before continuing. “and you want me to calm down?”

“look, if you came here just to bother the shit out of me, then leave.” your tone is heavy and serious. “i’m already too stressed and i really don’t wanna hear your stupid excuses anymo-” it’s renjun’s turn to cut you off.

“can you please hear me?” he speaks a little louder. “god, listen to me for once in your life!” he exclaims and you cross your arms, signing for him to continue.

“i’m sorry for ghosting you, i’m sorry for everything i did to you all this time.” he gets up from the couch, facing you. “i love you so much, y/n. you don’t even imagine how much it hurts to know that i made you feel like that.” he steps closer.

you feel your shoulders tense, your hands sweat again and your breath stop with him getting closer.

“y/n.” he takes you by the arm, hugging you tightly. “please, forgive me.” his voice is weak.

you feel the tears form in your eyes, threatening to fall and stain your whole face. renjun tightens up the hug even more when he noticed you didn’t answer him, wanting a minimum reaction from you.

“please, y/n.” he begs. “i know i messed up, i know i made stupid excuses, i know i should pay more attention to you.” renjun said, feeling the tears fall all over his face. “but please, stay.” he begs one more time.

you can’t control yourself, hugging renjun back and crying like a newborn baby in renjun’s arms. his whispered-apologies could still be heard by you, followed by his hands going to your hair and a kiss being deposited in your forehead.

“please, i’m so sorry. please forgive me, y/n.” he begs for the third time.

your heart melted over renjun’s broken tone. you couldn’t handle one more week away from him, so you didn’t think twice before saying:

“i forgive you, jun.”

renjun looked at you with wide eyes, a smiling growing in his face and lightening up his dark eyes. “a-are you serious?” he stuttered. you nod in agreement.

the boy hugs you again, but this time the embrace is filled with happiness and relief. you smile, your arms still wrapped around his body.

“thank you so much, y/n.” renjun thanks you. “i swear i’ll never do that again, i swear to god.” he says without letting go, making you feel safe in his arms after a long time feeling empty when hugging him.

you spend minutes hugging renjun, hearing him apologize to you more than he should and hearing him trying his best to convince you he would never do that again.

the love, affection and admiration that used to be like fire burning in your heart now feels like it again. your love battery with renjun is finally charging itself up after so much time.

you felt like you just returned home and you really don’t wanna ever leave again.

“renjun, we spent about 10 minutes hugging,” you point out. “i think we can pull away, can’t we?”

“let’s stay like this for a little longer, please.” he asks, burrying his face in your neck. you giggle with your boyfriend’s attitude, whispering sweet things and melting in the pleasure sensation that genuine touch gave you.

[withacapitalp]

Tell Him (Nothing) Everything Pt 2

Part One Link to ao3

Chapter Two- Second Mistakes

After their disastrous first meeting, Eddie found himself going to Steve’s bakery pretty much every single day. He would wake up, shower, put on at least semi-clean clothes, and walk down to Claudia’s just in time for the morning rush to be over. In fact, the only days he didn’t were Saturday and Sunday, because those were the days that Steve’s brother and his friends would hang around the cafe on and off all day. 

Needless to say, Wayne was ecstatic at this sudden one eighty. He had no idea what had happened to drag Eddie out of his depressive spiral, but he was happy about it all the same, and Eddie was happy that his uncle was happy. 

There was definitely enough happiness to go around. 

He and Steve entered into an easy kind of routine. For five or six hours straight Eddie would sit at the countertop on the far end of the bakery, writing lyrics and bars in his ratty old notebook while Steve ran his cafe and offered Eddie little nibbles to ‘taste test’. 

When things were busy Eddie liked to hop the counter to ring people up while Steve packed boxes of sweets and made drinks. And, when things were slow, Steve would turn the music up and dance around while he cleaned. Eddie was forced to put his pen down and watch the sinfully silly delight. There was no point in trying to pretend he wasn’t blatantly staring at Steve’s ass as he wiggled his hips and wiped down tables, singing along to ABBA and Bonnie Tyler in the goofiest voice Eddie had ever heard. 

Arguably, that might have been the best part of their new easy whatever this was, but Eddie knew there was something better. 

No, the best part was the talking.

Eddie hadn't realized how quiet he had gotten until he was back to jabbering all day long with someone who was easy to talk to. Steve just had this way of getting Eddie to open up, and for the first time since Chrissy, he felt like he had found someone to chat with that didn’t completely exhaust him. 

It was mostly because they never talked about anything too heavy. They definitely got to the personal- Steve’s brother, Dustin, was a frequent topic of conversation as Steve fretted about raising him ‘properly’- but they never got to the painful. Eddie didn’t ask why Steve was raising his thirteen year old brother at only twenty three, and Steve never wondered why Eddie was in town when he clearly didn’t belong in a place like Hawkins. 

It was fun. It was easy. 

It made Eddie feel completely guilty.

He wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to have good things anymore. He had been given the best person in the world, and he had destroyed her, so the universe had decided to give him another wonderful person? 

Didn’t it know Eddie was a ruiner? 

Well, if the universe hadn’t figured that out yet, then Eddie had resolved to not feel all that guilty about being selfish and keeping Steve when he knew he shouldn’t. He would hoard this happiness until the world righted itself and remembered that he didn’t deserve it. 

But for now, it was ten o’clock, and the cafe smelled like berries. 

“Helllloooooooooo, hungry customer waiting!” Eddie called out, obnoxiously ringing the bell over and over, needing to drown out both his thoughts and the disgustingly cheerful bubblegum pop playing over the speakers. 

“Get out!” Steve singsonged back, his voice growing louder as he came closer. 

“You’d miss me too much, Angeleyes,” Eddie replied, walking to his usual spot and hopping up onto the bar stool, not bothering to wait to see Steve come out from the back. Angeleyes was just one of the many nicknames Eddie had come up with for Steve’s…interesting music choices. 

“Don’t make fun of ABBA, or I won’t let you sample my new recipe,” Steve pouted as he walked over holding a still steaming tray of delectable goodies. His apron was a soft sea green today, the paw prints an icy blue that matched the polo he was wearing. 

Eddie couldn’t stand how cute Steve was, he really couldn’t. 

“What’s this one?” Eddie asked, reaching over. 

“Watch!” Steve immediately said, pulling the tray back so Eddie couldn’t burn his fingers, “Blackberry lemon crumble bars,” 

Steve put the tray down and carefully placed one on a plate, making Eddie’s coffee the way he liked while they waited for the bars to cool down a little. 

“I went out with Dustin and the kids this weekend and we picked a ton of them,” Steve said, passing over the plate and the cup. Eddie broke the treat in half, delighting in the shower of crumbs that fell on the china plate shaped like a cat.

The second the flavor hit his tongue he let out an absolutely sinful moan. At the start Eddie had tried to play it up, enjoying the way his noises would make Steve turn bright red, but he quickly realized he didn’t have to exaggerate anything. Steve’s food was just that good. 

“Sunshine, I’m gonna propose marriage,” Eddie said, his mouth still full, “Be ready for a big fat ring. I’ll wife you up, and then you can just travel the world with me and bake.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Steve automatically said, laughing softly and ignoring Eddie’s flirting the way he always did. He leaned over the counter, grabbing the other half of the bar and eating it much more delicately, somehow avoiding making a complete mess, “You should’ve come with us. It was a nice hike,” 

“Yeah, you lost me at the word ‘hike’. I don’t do hikes,” Eddie joked, conveniently avoiding the real reason he would never spend any time with Steve outside of this cafe, the reason he never came on weekends. 

Because not only was the idea of meeting Steve’s little brother was kind of intimidating (A child prodigy with a dungeons and dragons obsession? Yeah that kid was way too cool for his own good), but Eddie also knew that if Dustin didn’t like him, Steve would probably never talk to him again. 

Or worse, Dustin might recognize him. Then Steve really would never talk to Eddie again.

“Alrighty no hiking. Then what do you do all day? Besides coming here to bother me,” Steve teased, opening the display case and beginning to place the rest of the bars in a neat uniform row. 

“Nothing,” Eddie replied, grabbing his notebook and getting ready for their usual routine to start. He had a pretty good idea for some lyrics about berry kissed lips and tart lemons dripping sour into open wounds. 

“Sounds pretty boring,” Steve said idly. 

“Relaxing,” Eddie countered, looking up from his book, “You forget- I’m on vacation,” 

Well, bereavement. If running away from your entire life to hide at your uncle’s house in Podunk, Indiana could count as bereavement. 

“Ah yes, vacation from this mysterious job of yours that I’m not allowed to know anything about,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes. There was no heat in his voice, no edge to his tone, but Eddie’s stomach was starting to drop anyway. 

They knew all kinds of things about each other. Eddie knew all about Steve’s time as a high school jackass, and Steve had heard the calamities of Eddie’s own teenage years, but then there were gaps. Huge gaps. Big glaring gaps. Mostly on Eddie’s side. 

He couldn’t share most of the things that had happened in his last ten years without revealing his secret. Still, the longer he held onto pretending he was normal, the worse the fallout was going to be when he had to admit he wasn’t. 

“You can ask,” Eddie eventually said with a fake casual shrug, “Just no guarantees I’m gonna answer,” 

But he would. He had decided that if Steve pressed, if he really wanted to know, he would spill it all. The ball was unknowingly in Steve’s court, and that took the pressure off. Steve was the one who decided when this all ended and reality snuck back into their little corner of the world. 

“Nah, you’ll tell me whatever it is when you’re ready,”  Steve replied easily, once again keeping them both in suspense. The bell on the door jangled behind Eddie, signaling that customers had just entered. Steve greeted them with a big smile, and then he was walking away from Eddie who unabashedly stared at Steve’s back.  

Sunkissed Small Town Atlas, what I wouldn’t give to be on my knees holding your world?

God, Eddie was going to Hell. Those lyrics were even too dirty for Corroded Coffin. 

He wrote them down anyway. 

“By the way, Dustin burned me some new CDs of stuff he likes,” Steve said later that day when it was just the two of them again. He was elbow deep into the espresso machine, trying to fix something that was broken with the milk frother, and Eddie was about two seconds away from jumping into help him, “I told him that you’re into metal and rock too, and he said that these would be more your speed,”

“Burned CDs,” Eddie said with a soft laugh, coming around the counter and picking up the plastic cases Steve had nodded towards, beginning to rifle through them. They were covered in sharpie doodles and careful writing of every song. 

The kid had taste. Most of this was the stuff Eddie grew up on. 

“Hey, not all of us can afford music streaming,” Steve shot back, popping his head out of the machine for a second to stick his tongue out at Eddie before burying his face back into the mechanics. 

It was good that he did, because if Steve hadn’t, he would’ve seen the way Eddie’s jaw was dropping as he looked at the hand drawn devil mask on one of the CDs. An extremely familiar devil mask.  

“Corroded Coffin?” Eddie whispered faintly, all of his extremities starting to go numb. 

Was this Steve’s subtle way of telling Eddie he was caught? Was he trying to pull a joke or something? 

“Oh yeah, you’ll see a lot of them. He’s totally obsessed with that band,” Steve replied, cursing loudly as the machine began to spit water at him. Eddie abandoned the CDs and hurried over, helping Steve to do battle against his machine 

“Dustin really likes them?” Eddie said out of breath, panting as they both tried to come down from the high of fighting against the coffee demon. 

“Obsessed,” Steve gushed, grabbing the case with the Corroded Coffin CD and waving it around as he walked over to the player hooked up to the speakers, “He has all their music, a bunch of their records on vinyl, posters and everything. I even saved up to get him and his friends tickets to go see them live,”

Steve’s tone dropped at the last sentence. His brow furrowed, and his face pulled into an uncharacteristic frown as he slipped the CD in. The sound of Eddie’s own voice began to fill his ears. This was one from the before time, back in their MySpace/Youtube era before they recorded their first album. 

The kid really was a fan. 

It’s raining down. 

All around. 

Hellfire. 

God, sometimes it was hard to not cringe at his old lyrics. Sixteen year old Eddie really thought he was a genius. And his voice was still too high, it hadn’t fully dropped back then. Eddie decided to distract himself from the way the song made him want to curl up in a ball and die, focusing on Steve and the way he still seemed upset. 

“You sound disappointed. Not happy that your baby brother is a metalhead?” Eddie asked, keeping his tone light and hoping that would give Steve an out if he didn’t want to talk about what was bugging him. 

“Oh no, as long as he’s safe and happy I don’t care,” Steve said dismissively, waving a hand around his head, “I guess I just- you know the tickets I got him? The ones to see this band? They’re totally useless, because they canceled their whole tour.”

“The entire tour?” Eddie blurted out, rearing back with a jolt. 

He knew that they had to cancel at least the first few dates because he had disappeared, but the entire eight month tour?! They weren’t even supposed to start touring until next week, and Indianapolis was still three months away. 

The other guys were that sure Eddie wasn’t coming back…

To be fair to them, Eddie was also not so sure he was going back. But that had to be a shit ton of money, and without a lead singer or a manager-

Eddie had royally screwed his bandmates. His brothers. He had been so focused on what he needed, he forgot they needed him too. He forgot that without Eddie Munson, there was no Corroded Coffin. 

Chrissy would’ve killed him for that. 

If he hadn’t killed her first. 

Eddie couldn’t help the soft noise that escaped from his throat, and he walked on wooden legs back to his usual corner, tucking himself into the seat and trying to curl up and be as small as possible. Not only was the guilt back, but it had grown devil horns and demon wings, exponentially worse now that Eddie could no longer ignore how many people he was screwing over. 

“There’s a really big mystery about it. Apparently something happened to their manager and she died?” Steve continued to babble, completely unaware of the burning fire poker he was jabbing into Eddie’s chest, “The lead singer, Freddy something, was close with her, and after that he just kind of vanished. It was a big media circus,” 

Freddy. It wasn’t funny, because nothing about the situation was funny, but Eddie laughed anyway. He laughed, because if he didn’t, he was going to start crying. The laughter bubbled out and spilled across the countertop, sounding nothing like Eddie knew himself to sound like.  

“Eds?” 

Steve’s warm hand cupped his face, and when Eddie looked up a watery blurry version of Steve was looking back at him, and when he blinked to clear his vision, he became aware of the tear tracks already cutting through his face. 

Oh. Apparently he could do both. Eddie had never laughed and cried at the same time, but here he was. 

“What happened?” Steve asked, letting his thumb softly brush against Eddie’s cheek, wiping away the tears in a move that was so intimate it sent shivers shooting down his spine. 

The last person who had done something like this for him was Chrissy, and that comparison was just one shade too much for him. Eddie untangled himself from Steve and hopped down, going around the counter and grabbing the black apron with white paw prints that Steve left out for him, tying it around his waist and attacking the dishes in the sink with ferocity. 

Steve let him, sitting back against the counter and waiting. He had learned in the last few weeks that there were moments where Eddie just needed to do something physical to work out whatever was happening inside of him. The first time it had happened, Eddie had just paced for an hour straight, and he was sure Steve would kick him out when he was done, but the younger man had simply shrugged and offered for Eddie to do the dishes the next time instead.

‘Might as well get some free labor out of it’ had been Steve’s reasoning, and Eddie had wanted to kiss him right then and there. 

“Dustin’s pretty upset I bet,” Eddie finally croaked out after he finished rinsing out one of the cat themed mugs. It wasn’t just his bandmates he was letting down, but also all of the fans that had been loyal to them for years and years. 

Eddie was letting everyone down. 

“Well, he was at first, but he’s trying to be understanding about it. He said it was like if I lost Robin. I can’t even begin to imagine what that would feel like,” Steve said cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure that they should just drop the fact that Eddie had been crying only moments before. 

When Eddie didn’t say anything he crept closer, leaning into Eddie’s space to grab a towel and begin to dry the cups on the rack. 

“Are you o-” Steve began. 

“I’m glad Dustin isn’t too disappointed,” Eddie cut in, unable to hear those words. If he heard them again, then he would tell Steve the truth. 

He wasn’t okay. He didn’t know if he was ever going to be okay again. 

“I am too. I just wish I hadn’t spent so much money on those stupid tickets. That was Christmas and his birthday gift all in one,” Steve sighed. Eddie flinched at the sound, looking down at the soaped up canister in his hands instead of at the man he had personally screwed out of hundreds, possibly thousands, of dollars. 

“You didn’t get a refund?” Eddie asked, unable to believe that the other members of the band wouldn’t give everyone their money back. 

“Well some of it,” Steve said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “I got the price of regular admission tickets back, but I got a bunch of extra stuff too- good seats, backstage passes, the works. All of that was apparently nonrefundable.”

“How much was it?” 

Eddie didn’t want to know the answer, but he needed to know. He was apparently a masochist now. 

“Backstage passes for all six of them plus me to chaperone?” Steve asked rhetorically watching Eddie wince in sympathy, “Yeah, I was feeling that loss for a few months,”

Eddie didn’t have any more dishes, but he had lots of energy, so he grabbed a washcloth and began to wipe down the counters, avoiding Steve’s eyes which he could still feel locked onto his back. 

“Geez, you must really hate that lead singer, huh?” Eddie was attempting to go casual, but he was so far from it that it wasn’t even funny, “I mean the dude just disappears because one person died?” 

Any second now Steve was going to call him on his weirdness, and Eddie was going to have to blurt out the entire terrible story and try to beg for forgiveness. 

“No, not at all,” Steve replied without giving it any thought. 

“Really?” Eddie breathed, turning around to stare at Steve with wide eyes. Steve shrugged, going back to fiddling with his coffee machine. 

“I don’t really know what happened, but if I lost Robin? I wouldn't want to talk to anybody, let alone jump up onto a stage and try to perform, or act like nothing happened. I think everyone just feels bad. Apparently the fans are still leaving him lots of tweets and stuff. Dustin told me some hashtag was trending for him a couple weeks ago,” Steve said, grabbing his phone with the obvious intent to show Eddie. 

He was going to look up Corroded Coffin. Which would lead directly to tons of headlines with Eddie’s face plastered on them. 

Eddie was up and moving before he even knew it.  

“What are you doing?” Steve asked slowly as Eddie grabbed his wrist and pulled it down, making sure Steve couldn’t look at his phone. 

“I don’t wanna see it.” Eddie said in a rush. 

He didn’t want his secret exposed, but he also didn’t want the reminder of who he was. He wanted to keep being Steve’s Eddie. A stranger with funny little quips and a refined palate. He wanted to be able to keep being this person for a little while, whoever he was. He didn’t want to go back to being the Eddie that had lost his Robin.  

“Please,” Eddie said, lowering his voice to a whisper. Steve stood there blinking at him for a second, staring at Eddie like he couldn’t really make sense of him. 

“Alright,” Steve said, finally hesitantly agreeing. Eddie breathed out a long slow sigh of relief, leaning back against the counter and letting go of Steve’s wrist. 

“You’re a really nice person, Steve Harrington,” He said with a tired grin. 

“And you’re a very confusing person Eddie Eddie,” Steve shot back with an incredulous little laugh. He pushed off of his own counter and held a hand out, “But you are a good taste tester. Now come back here and help me make this next batch of crumble bars perfect. I think it might need a frosting,” 

Eddie went willingly, the sound of his own voice over the speakers filling his ears. 

[sspidrwebz]

so theres this spidergwen fan song and let me fucking tell you guys

it goes. so fucking hard. oh my god. bloody fucking hell.

yapping under the cut

Where are the people whose love is unconditional Let family down, and they want me gone a criminal

holy shit?? family issues is a huge part of the reason im a gwen kinnie and just.. hit hard

Dropping the ball so much, it's wild, I'm in the game Then I remember multiverses know my name, uh

slay.

Not a photo, I'm a Ghost, go find me up in the air I'm a kid pro, I get in your head, there a big joke, never catch me yet

flow goes hard. lyrics go hard.

Tell me I'm wrong when I hear y'all say a hero is a person you want dead Moving so slow, when I win go next, saving all those who give no respect

the bullshit she goes through and nobody even thanks her or anything. spiderman is loved. miles is loved. why cant she be??

Demonize me in your mind Just one truth, it's yours not mine When I leave it's 'cause it's time To heal

this applies to so many communities in real life, its insane the discrimination. queer people, poc people, neurodivergent people, the list goes on. i think the last line is in reference to when she runs away, that hurt.

The hurt I've dealt with all these years To you must seem like teenage tears The ones I loved have so much hate For this side of me

ohhh god right in the heart. the biases between generations. the homophobia/transphobia coding...

I'm done with all the fear and pain, the sorrow, the sorrow I'd slam the doors and scream until you'd follow, but there's no lifeline I know I've made my choices, my mistakes over and over, over But I'll fight until I can't see a tomorrow to do it differently this time

its me its so me. such a common sentiment for any queer teenager honestly oh my god.

Doing my best all the time, and it ends up with them falling Always guessing does it count if I'm lost at my true calling

oh gwen baby... me too, relationships and trust issues it sucks ass

Maybe it changed along the way am I delusional? Bad for everyone, my actions always prove it all

this song reminds me of just how much i relate to her :[[

Let me sink 'till I'm too deep Keeping warm in memories If I go, one day you'll see What you've thrown away

its giving sad teen poetry, feels like she genuinely wrote this. i feel like ive written something very similar before.

[chorus] Think you'll stop me? Good or bad, it haunts me Past the point of caring, they see someone that's long gone in my face

fucking try to tell me gwen isnt trans when that latter line exist, tell me right now. i relate too hard to that one [im cis, i just mean it in a diff way]

Take the rules and bend them 'till I shatter them all Can't help it because

fuck the awful fucking rules man do what you need to, thats beautiful

[chorus]

-

anyways yeah im so in love with this song, thanks @halacg for this absolutely lovely and powerful piece

[archivalofsins]

Hey, why aren't you taking about Milgram as much-

There's literally nothing to talk about. It ain't due to the harassment. It's legit just nothing to talk about. What am I supposed to do repeat the same shit I've already said but shorter this time? Bet.

The Mikoto brought in by Milgram definitely committed those murders and not the other one.

Yuno's murder isn't abortion and stating it could be basically equates abortion to murder which it is not. While also not explaining the several men that have consistently been alluded to and their blacked out belongings in Umbilical.

Shidou killed people in comas and vegatative states not brain dead individuals. Brain death is pretty rare its not something that happens often. This man would either have to be incredibly unlucky, working in a hospital that's incredibly unlucky, purposefully inducing brain death in his patients, working in a hospital that specializes in brain death (which, why??? but okay i believe you.), or lying to the family members about them being brain dead so they decide to pull the plug which family can choose to do in the cases of comas and vegetative states which he basically states he's doing in fucking Throw Down at several different instances.

Mahiru cheated on her significant other and this has been foreshadowed since the start of Milgram (her statements on Mikoto someone who is as social as her having cheater energy, and her going I'd never do that ever actually wouldn't that be fucked up. Similarly to how Mu said she'd never be a bully.) And it's bluntly alluded to in the lyrics of I Love You.

Amane seems to have killed someone other than her mom and I'm pretty sure I know who and that's probably the thing she's referring to when she's talking to Shidou and states all her decisions weren't good ones.

Everyone here has killed more than one person. These are all serial killers. Shidou just believes he killed the most, but if it turns out they're ordered by kills, then that would be Mikoto and Kotoko. Which I find that concept fucking hilarious. But Mu only had one victim wrong, driving people to suicide also can be counted as murder under certain circumstances, and both her songs imply this is what she did with other people through her bullying. We just saw the one person she killed directly. So, there's your suicide counts as murder too for those who wanted it. Also, another of Yamanaka's characters before Mu causes people to die the same way and at points is implied to have staged incidents to look like accidents and suicides. What about Futa though- He's been implied to have hunted down everyone else involved in the hat girl incident and I find this very funny given he asks why he's the only one here- What about them when he probably knows full and well they're dead.

Also, for straight fun- here are all the references to Mahiru's songs in the latest Deco*27 song Aitai-lians or at least the ones I saw and brought up in private the day it released-

"Love>a pain, that's incredible but that equation flips so easily don't you know."- "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad."

"(hey) miss you, (grr) wanna see you, (sigh) where are you, (gaa) I need you (but) can't have you, (grr) can't see you, (sigh) can't find you, (gaa) can't hold you- Kill me now."- "If you don't hug me even our hearts will start drifting apart." "Sigh... No appetite, I can't sleep, my hair's a mess. What am I supposed to do now? If you won't tell me I can't be me." Along with her saying in voice drama if she can't love like she wants she'd rather die.

"You throwing around that later such a bitch ass move"- " 'See you next week' sounding in cadence."

"Still addictted, but actin' stupid and pretending to be a good girl"- "I pretended to be a good girl but really I don't want to say 'I'm ok'."

"Miss you"- "Love and Miss You."

"Where are you"- "Tell me, oh tell me why, are you not here anymore?"

"Calling you"- "Ring-ring I'm calling you in the middle of the night forcing you to wake up and I say 'Good Morning'."

"Don't test me"- "Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual."

"Oooh, who dis? I'm so much better, I'm green-eyed, shit. As for lovin' you can't beat me in that department."- "Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together." "My lethal weapon: This Is How To Be In Love With You."

"You *dumped* me but you're smiling seriously go kill yourself already."- "Kiss goodbye to this feeling because it's too heavy. I can't no way, no way, no way." "Die."

Mahiru: Don’t say you like someone so flippantly! It’ll disappear…… words like “love,” don’t use them!

"Wait who was the hero of this story, huh, can't remember.", "I wanted you to be the hero of this story you know."- Both these lines can play on the fact this line applies both to Mahiru and her victim in her second song "This adorable, earnest, sincere heart is bleeding wailing this is the end."

Though the term hero has been related to Futa a lot as well. It can also be used under framing people in the right within the series or innocent something Mahiru currently I'd and wanted to be. However, she admits to herself doing more wrong in the relationship throughout both her songs. So she clearly knows she's not the hero here.

Also, not speculating this will be her next cover song or anything. I just find the similarities between her songs and this one interesting. I would like it if this was because it would be interesting while fitting with the other ones she got. I just want to wait until the next trial song trailer to speculate on that in depth.

But no, in seriousness, I don't say much unless I have a lot to say and can put enough time into it right now. There's not a lot left for me to chew on. Since I did my in-depth stuff over the course of the trial so I've mostly been taking a break and playing games.

[squigglyoctosquigglez]

assinging each cpds member a milgram song (except Undercover. no one is Es here. except maybe Lucy. yeah Lucy is Es now she gives the verdicts for each of their murders-)

for those who don't know, milgram is a fictional music project that involves a prison that hold 10 prisoners, each had been the sole cause of someones death (not just murder) and the only real clues to their "sin" is through songs !! there's also es they're the prison warden

i got this idea at like 10 pm today in my timezone, i say random ass shit here too please dont judge im tired

chris - Throw Down (uhh reading the lyrics chris is the kind to like really care but hes just done with everyone), Triage (he does not want to be deemed INNOCENT [he's still getting voted innocent])

dennis - After Pain ("“I’m sorry” won’t reach anyone (I hope it will someday) " dennis seems like the kind of kid to be bullied in school), Magic (dennis is at heart, childish. and also probably had shit parents. nothing wrong with the first one, everything wrong with the second one), The Purge March (eh hes probably not in a cult but like still he follows orders a bit too much to order idk how to explain it he remembers everything exactly except his own lines so like)

robert - half (kazui literally starts preforming an opera in the mv for this, anyways uhhh denise), It's Not My Fault (its literally in the name), Cat ("Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye / That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What / Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit / Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple" continuing half "Phew, oh wow I’m drunk, Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?" this song is so painfully robert its insane idk why also kazui (prisoner singing the song) eats a fucking dove in the mv btw do with that info what you want idk)

sandra - MeMe (i have no actual reason for this just take my word for this one), It's Not My Fault (datte datte warekurai mon-), I Love You / Daisuki (see max's description) (im sorry there's still like 1 trial left, idk there's only like 20 songs)

max - This is how to be in love with you (title speaks for itself, max is a very loving person! sometimes too loving… like mahiru (prisoner singing the song) i think they would get along actually), I Love You / Daisuki (this song goes too hard to have that title, anyways Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love / Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much / Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love / A monstrous dilemma!!!) (someone protect him)

johnathan - Weakness (idfk "ahHaHA, Please notice me. ahHaHA, Someone please notice me."), All-Knowing And All-Agony (probaby was neglected as a child or something idk now he indirectly relys on robert please dont listen to me im jsut spouting random shit atp im tired its 11 pmg now)

vanessa - Umbilical (i actually have no good reason for this), Tear Drop (i dont think she wants to be voted innocent for her murder [news flash, shes still getting voted innocent]), Double (or not innocent! idk man shes not mikoto (prisoner singing the song) but i gotta give his songs to someone and she kinda fits)

annie - HARROW (annie and trevor are similar in goals, to take down sin and make them pay for what they've done. however they do it in two different ways. idk those two different ways probably direct death threats (trevor) and an indirect slow death (annie). i have no fucking clue what im talking about actually), Deep Cover ("Don’t you dare stop now I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it" idk what kotoko (prisoner singing the song) ment by this but uhh do what you want with that)

trevor - Bring It On (see HARROW), Backdraft (LISTEN TO THE SONG ITS A FUCKING BANGER- anyways i have no reason for this than this connects with bring it on Burn, burn! An ever-victorious FIRE, burn so high till it becomes ash / Burn, burn! Deliciously scorched, till your mouth waters / Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE)

[xxrinnyxrunnyxx]

Here's my "The Holy Bible 20" by Manic Street Preachers review as a retard when it comes to songs meanings

Also, remember these are just my opinions so calm yo tits

Yes- 7/10I really love how it kinda enforces the idea thay money rules the world and I fuckin love when people talk bout that shit. I relate to how he talks shit bout himself and how he hurts himself to get the pain out and how he's still like a normal and nice person even with him struggling.

Ifwhiteamaricatoldthetruth(I'm not typin all that)- 6/10 Not my favorite on the subject, but I do think it 100% truthful about America from the lyrics. In a way, the beat of this song kinda dose remind me of the national anthem, which I think is a cool and genuinely smart idea for the song. Love the vocals but not as much as other songs from this album.

Of walking abortion- 4/10 I enjoy the fact that it says we are to blame for everything, and I 100% agree with that. I feel as if it's sayin were all worthless and don't deserve life. The music it's self is kinda ehh but the lyrics are again amazing.

She is suffering- 6/10 In a way, I can see this song going along the lines of a lot of my moots relationships from what they post. It talks bout how the girl in this is horrible and makes those around her miserable. I kinda can apply this to my current relationship in some ways, but I love the beat of this song. It's kinda like an opera in my head. The more it listen to it, and I love it. I

Archives of pain- 100/10 LOVE THIS ONE. It's a dark song, and i love those types of songs. It's so fucking relaxing to listen to. I feel like it's bout punishing those who punish others and I fucking dig that concept.

Revol- 3/10 love the fact they spoke German in the song, but that's about it. I don't really enjoy the tone or beat of the song along with the lyrics. I feel like it's just not my cup of tea, and I enjoy kinda more downbeat songs. I also don't really like how they repeat the same words.

4st 7LB- 1000/10 WORDS CAN NOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SONG. It's so honest with the lyrics and how it describes what's happening during them not eating and especially with them vewing their own body, talking about how they want to be so light to the point their foot steps don't show. They also talk about how they feel sick, but they look into the mirror, and it completely goes away when they see what it's doing for their body. The beat matches the song so damn well, and I love how the beat changes during the end. I could go on and on about how much I relate and love this song.

Mausoleum - 4/10 I don't even know how to pronounce this song, but I do know I like it. Don't know what it's about to be 100% honest, but I like it, and that's it.

Faster- 8/10 there's heres definitely a reason why this is a more popular song from this album. Its honest with the lyrics and genuinely feel them and the truth behind them. The part when they talk about crying when you look at yourself naked and I love this line as well when they talk about sleeping to avoid shit. The beat it more upbeat, but it's kinda like a dance song, in my opinion. It could just be me, but I view this song being about a lot of things, with one of them being bout humanity veiwing others and everyone being fake and the same as well as depression.

This is yesterday- 4/10 I enjoy the slow and calm vibe of the song. I can't really grasp onto the reason of the song besides it being about aging and how fast things go past, and I can kinda feel that.

Die in summertime- 11/10 fuckin love the way the why the lyrics are sang and how I can feel the emotions through the fuckin phone. It kinda talks bout summer depression and shit like that, and I really relate to that. The first line in the song talking about the nails makes me feel kinda safe in a way. It feels as if the songs bout me as a listener, but I know it's not.

The intense humming of evil- 6/10 the intro is kinda long for me cuz im impatient ass hell, but i can say it's worth it. I love the vocals in this song and how they reach high. I don't really have much to say about it, but it's kinda in the kind of song you have to be in the mood for.

P.C.P.- 8/10 I don't really get the theme or "lesson" of the song, but that's on me. Besides that, it's a great song with amazing lyrics, and I feel like this is another song by they that I just feel like dancing to.

[blackjackkent]

Lord Huron prompts, any one of those for an oc of your choice:

🌟 prowling the night raising hell with the boys

🌟 where can you go when it’s all in your head?

🌟 was everything you said just a lie?

(Lord Huron Lyric Prompts)

Ty for the prompt! Hmmmm an OC of my choice... let's go back to the OG OC who I haven't written in forever, and talk about she got that scar that she had on her face in ME1. :D

Jenna Shepard - prowling the night raising hell with the boys.

-----

“You’re a fuckin’ dumbass, you know,” Ace says.

Jenna scowls, squinting at him through eyes swollen with bruises. “Yeah? That’s not new. Been a dumbass the whole time you’ve been with the Reds; never seemed to bother you before.”

“Don’t dodge the conversation,” he says irritably. “You know what I mean.”

Jenna’s nose twitches as a ticklish flow of blood drips from the slash across her face. The movement pulls at the torn skin and makes her wince. “I knew Finch was gonna try and thrash me,” she mutters defensively. “I didn’t know he was gonna pull a knife.”

“It’s not about the knife. Jenna…” He sighs, twisting the seal open on a medi-gel capsule. “You know why he wanted to kick your ass, right?”

“Yeah - ‘cos he’s jealous.”

“More than jealous. He’s pissed because you’re gonna get off-world and he’s never gonna amount to shit. And he wanted to fuck you up so you wouldn’t be able to go.” Ace glares at her. “And you almost let him, just because you wanted a fight.”

She’s never seen him like this. Ace is always the one in the gang with a joke and a grin; half the time he’s laughing even when they screw.

“I always want a fight,” she says, puzzled.

“No!” he snaps. “You don’t. Not right now. What you want is to stay fucking alive three more days. Then you get on that ship, and you go to bootcamp, and you get to be somebody. And you don’t miss your chance cos you lost an eye, or your jaw got broke, or you let Finch slice you up.”

She knows he’s right, and it pisses her off. “I didn’t know better, I’d think you were looking forward to me leaving,” she says sullenly.

His head snaps back, and his expression goes from angry to hurt - and then back to angry again. “You fucking know that’s not the case,” he says coldly. “You think I want to lose you?”

Something seems to grip around her heart and squeezes it. “I know,” she mumbles, looking away, wiping distractedly at the sheen of blood settling on her upper lip.

For a moment she thinks he’s going to walk away. Then his shoulders slump and he sits down next to her, handing her the gel capsule. She squeezes it so the viscous blue liquid oozes out into her palm, and starts rubbing it along the deepest part of the cut until the pain eases.

He rubs his thumb absently at a stain in his torn jeans. “I’m never gonna get out of Chicago,” he finally says quietly. “Let alone off this whole hunk of rock. But you are. And I love you, so I gotta let you do it.” Again that scowl, tightening his face into hard lines that don’t seem to fit there. “And if I gotta do all that, the last thing I’m gonna do is let you fuck it all up for yourself. But don’t you make the mistake of thinking I like it.”

She hisses out a breath through her teeth. “The fuck am I gonna do up there in the Fleet without you to tell me when I’m being an idiot?” she says with a crooked grin.

He grunts, and then laughs, and that sounds more like Ace, although it’s a humorless laugh, dark and tired. “I reckon you’ll find someone else to do the job before long.”

[springtimebat]

The Girl in the Back of the Class

She was more shadow than flesh. An outline of a person rather than an actual human being. Just one of those students who is there to take up the empty spaces in a classroom.

The only time anyone noticed her was when a member of the football team decided to torment them; smashing her into a locker, stealing their lunch off of cafeteria trays, administering burns to her sensitive wrists.

She didn’t show up to class in the fall. Her desk, with its creaking planks and runes etched onto its burnt edges, lay lonely in the Autumn-wine shade. 

Her mom is wiry and ancient, living off benefit check after benefit check. She spends the day handing out missing posters to strangers instead of seeking employment. 

The other parents in the neighborhood tut and fuss at this strange limbo of a woman. Now that her daughter is gone she should  just fade away from public life; become a mournful silhouette against colorful wallpaper. 

The girl was strange, alternative, lonely. No one cares to remember her in any significant way. Except maybe with embarrassment. Next year, she will be dug up with the rotting snow. 

Still, no-one new moves into town. Her desk remains empty. Unloved. It takes the rest of the class two months to pry open her old locker. Their heads ache when the idea comes to mind.

The locker is covered in old stickers and permanent marker soliloquies. The lock has to be twisted inside out three times over before the door gives way. Its hinges seem to ooze an unnatural blue ooze. Territorial marks made by a girl who was never noticed.

She went to a lot of shows, they realize, shuffling through tickets from a year ago. Corrupted snapshots and polaroids display flashing stage-lights and mosh-pits. 

One photo, tacked onto the locker door with wrinkled strips of tape, shows a figure with teased hair and ringed eyes. The girl had never smiled before. Death made her grin.

A war-torn notebook is buried inside too, along with several home-made zines in a misshapen drawer. Its cover is decorated with baby lambs and human skulls. They interact within speech bubbles, scribbled hastily on the page. They ask each other what the color of the sky is. 

The zines belong to a collection, written almost obsessively over the girl’s high school years. Beneath the Wire. Her classmates go through them together as a makeshift research group, anticipating some kind of extensive eulogy. They instead discover something else entirely. 

No one ever expected the dead girl to be funny but humor drips quietly across every page. Drawings depict herself as a gorgon, hair twisting and floating above her as its own entity, who turns various people from town into stone. Poems which don’t really rhyme retell times that she skipped school to people-watch. Multiple caricatures of people riding the bus are pasted into the notebook’s margins.

There’s a woman with a pink beehive that reaches the clouds, smoking ten cigarettes at once.

A couple with matching scowls, combat boots and spiked hair, who shoot lasers through the cracked bus windows.

An old man in a defunct army uniform, whose soul spews from his ass and rants about the “good ol’ days of ‘nam”. 

The last page expresses the same attitude. There’s no sadness, no pain. Just a scribble of the chemistry teacher sodomising himself with a rolled up poster depicting the periodic table.

The class gather up all the vanished girl’s belongings and hand them over to her mother the next morning, putting an end to her spell over town. At least, to them anyway.

The mother takes everything home and arranges her daughter’s life on the kitchen table. It is a holy experience, like she’s identifying a skeleton. She gazes at the comics, the lyrics, the grinning photographs…they all seem to sink deep underneath her flesh. Finally, she lets out a small cry.

By the next week, she has stopped handing out missing posters. Now, she gives out copies of Beneath the Wire in the local park, a wistful expression on her face as winter approaches.

[busterstrouble]

flannel is the color of my energy - playlist

Buster to Ren

@ambereyed-mountain-prince

FITCOME is a playlist for: that feeling when you want to turn the music volume on max and rage. Hearing the hardcore breakdown of a guitar riff. Yelling at the top of your lungs in an open field. Flannel is the color of my energy is for the angst, the energy, the memories, and the background music you pick as your walk out song.

🎸 Enemy of the World - Four Year Strong

if you drop the bomb then I’ll pick it up. The song opens up with group acapella and a drum solo. Instant goosebumps. The theme tends to be team work but also ones true self worth. The battle with one’s self. You can’t help but air drumming as the song picks up. (Favorite Band of ALL time)

🎸 Came Out Swinging - The Wonder Years

my mind is made up, there’s going to be trouble. Everyone has had an end to a relationship and everyone has had a hard time. This song is the epitome of both. The pop punk double bass picks up and gives some great breakdowns.

🎸 High Regard - A Story So Far

you don’t deserve what you haven’t earned. When you have to cut off ties with someone and you have the one sided argument with yourself in the sjower…that is what this song embodies. Driving with this song on high volume and using the steering wheel as a drum.

🎸 Mind Your Business - Sunami

self important pricks learn your fucking lesson. Hardcore. From start to finish this sound is what fuels a hype up scenario. When you feel wronged or when someone turns on you…this song and the break downs make a scowl appear on your face and you vibe. (Very hardcore but bad ass)

🎸Cries of Pleasure, Heavenly Pain - Gulch

No real lyrics. When you think of a song your mother or grandma would say that is metal it’s this song. A lot of drums. A lot of guitar. A lot of yelling. This song is not the best song in the world but there is something about it that meets some inner angst.

🎸Riot Squad - Cock Sparrer

fighting the law with the rest of us. British punk rock from the 80s. This song is about friends changing and leaving the group. This band is still playing live at the age of 70 in England - sound just like the album. Just very very good.

🎸 For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica

take a look to the sky just before you die. This is the song you have playing as you walk out to the baseball mound. Or the song playing as you have an angsty power scene in a movie. The narrative song in a battle scene of a good book. Quality metal and always on repeat.

🎸 The Simple Type - Broadside

we shoot first, ask questions later. A good pop punk song that’s going to make you think about someone you’ve parted with. The light melody with the guitars just brings out the air guitar. Always going to boost the mood even if you’re not thinking about someone you’ve parted from.

🎸 Those Anarco Punks are Mysterious (Acoustic EP) - Against Me!

reaching out for a scary kind of perfection. against me! Has been the most punk rock band going from acoustic to rock and back again. trans front woman Laura Grace has brought the band to the future. The theme hold and it’s impossible to not sing along with all angst and distaste for the man.

🎸My Life For Hire - A Day To Remember

this is a battleground. The middle of the song has one of the most iconic breakdowns of all pop punk music. It is impossible to not close your eyes and let the build up fuel you. Working out to just processing life this song will build with you.

Hardcore, pop punk, metal, punk, and anarchy.

A playlist by Buster Palmerteri

[esparafuso]

Monday, November 7th, 2022

Dear Diary, where do I even begin. Perhaps saying I still can't believe I saw my favourite band performing live for the first time.

I'm an anxious person and shows always seemed so far away from me, from where I lived and from what I thought I'd have the guts of attending. If it wasn't for my friend Lya (@/sorethpid) I'd perhaps still be dreaming about how cool it would be if I lived the same experience I keep seeing others have for years and years.

In an impulse, we bought tickets for Primavera Sound 2022 happening in São Paulo. It wasn't cheap, but both of us had savings and were crazy enough to spend it on a ticket and flight tickets and a hotel room.

We live in different states, so it was thrilling to meet her again (third time personally), as we met on the internet 6 years ago here on tumblr, two artists drawing Arctic Monkeys fanart and rambling to the other about our favourite things about them, and our favourite album, and how much we wish we had the chance of hearing them live.

It happened on Saturday, November 5th. Her first festival, my first show ever in life, we got to the place and tried to keep it cool among all the stylish people around. It was okay though, we were just happy to be there. We decided to buy two donuts (we admittedly didn't plan food very well, too anxious to get to the place already) and after a couple stops we headed to the stage to take a look, but decided to stay there already when we saw the narrow place and the realisation that soon the whole thing would be packed w ppl hit us (later on, we saw we would better had stopped by a nearby bathroom for Lya, but okay)

The gig would start at 10pm, and we were there at 4:30pm. We got to know the music of a sweet artist called Helado Negro, which we supported and danced along even not knowing the lyrics. One hour and a half break, and then came Interpol. I personally didn't listen to the band much, but they kicked ass and made everyone super pumped and jumpy (myself included). Another one hour and a half before AM.

Gigs aren't kind to shorter ppl, we learned that. We tried our best to adjust and see the stage (which was actually way closer than we expected to get) and managed with some struggle. Our boots were also a literal pain, and I don't remember feeling my feet hurting this bad in my life, to the point I had to keep dancing to keep the pain manageable - only forgotten when an artist was performing. Especially the ones we were dying to see more.

Seeing the stage being set up made us already excited. Matt's golden drumkit, Nick's bass, Alex's and Jamie's guitars going through the soundproof, curtains being set on the back of the stage - we saw THREE regular sized disco balls being brought up when Interpol's stage was being set, and we knew who they belonged to, and yet they didn't make it to the final thing for AM.

After 3 false alarms, here they come. Screams ringing in my ear, I saw those four men (plus two) walk into my sight of vision and I can't even describe how I felt. They quickly assumed positions and the heavy synth of Sculptures resonated from the speakers - the The Car song we were more hopeful they would perform (we didn't even know they had played it before in Rio).

the photos really aren't the strongest bcs of how overwhelmed I was and the little space in my phone (another thing I forgot to prepare properly, like an idiot)... some recordings didn't go through, like Potion approaching, which made me sad but at least I got some :'D

I wish I could put here what my eyes saw, because I could see their FACIAL FEATURES from where I was, which was unbelievable close in my book. I managed to save the recording of Pretty Visitors, really hoping to get my beloved Agile Beast's crazy good drumming

I recorded another for Do Me a Favour, my favourite Arctic Monkeys song, where I kept shaking from crying but can't upload here pls of Tumblr's limit of videos in a post.

The whole time I sang and danced and screamed and cried, I just kept repeating in my head that they were real people, they existed, they weren't a fever dream or a gif or a video I saw on the internet, they were living humans right in front of me, and up until now I can't wrap my head around the fact I stood so close to them. I listened to them sing and play a few meters away from me, I could feel Matt's drums resonating in my heart, I saw Nick on the side looking SO soft, Jamie being the closest one, doing his little quirks and hops, Alex singing and dancing and. being a goofie, Matt playing and singing and making me absolutely lose it.

Even now typing all this makes me cry becasue I know I will never forget this experience. I just love and appreciate this band so much. I'm not the fan that knows all the lyrics of ALL songs yet, and I don't have their physical merch and albums, and this was only the first time I saw them live, but they hold a very special and meaningful place in my life that I will never forget.

The crowd overall was amazing, we sang everything they put out, screamed our lungs out and clapped and threw our hands in the air and pleaded them to come back. They waved to everyone and Alex threw us many kisses, and I hope they enjoyed their night as much as we basked in their presence.

Leaving the festival was very difficult due to bad logistics, my feet were incredibly sore, it was super cold outside and hundreds of ppl couldn't get a ride back home for the life of us - but we managed. And even then, when we arrived at the hotel, the only memory in our minds was their presence and their music still buzzing in our heads and hearts.

I hope we will have the chance of going to another one - we sure are thirsty for more now that we saw that it IS possible to see them live - but until then: Thank you Monkeys for this unforgettable night, and for existing and making us feel such strong emotions with your amazing music and journey as a band overall.

P.s.: thank you also whoever recorded the gig properly, because then we can see everything we lived in another, high definition angle, for the rest of our lives.

[agentmmayy]

september rotation

this was an interesting month for music! i didn’t discover as many new songs as i usually do or typically put on here, but these are my top picks for the month 

mushroom punch - zella day: zella day is on the fast track to be coming my new favorite artist bc this is a banger that’s equally as arresting as radio silence. just as punchy as the title suggests. it begs to be sung along to  

cyclone - maude lateur: the beat!!!!!!!!! absolutely a sad twerking song. it’s about realizing the self-destruction of past relationships with the beautiful comparison to a hurricane (...to soon?) it includes the build-up to expecting a disaster and the excitement buried beneath fear it incites and the heart-breaking devastation that follows

take off - prinze george: i’ve had this song stuck in my head for days and for good reason. ABSOLUTE banger. it’s selfish and greedy and all consuming in the way love is sometimes 

close to you - the wildlife: @majicmarker introduced me to this song and i haven’t recovered since. it has me down SO BAD i’m writing a whole ass fic. the eddissy vibes are off the charts and the lyrics ‘push your hands against the wall, kissing in the bathroom stall’ produced a very whoreish reaction from me ngl

lonely - ladyhawke: the yearning here... coupled with the haunting and harrowing vocals... contrasting the hopeful tone with the “hopeless” “other” in the song... the repetition of ‘run’ and ‘running’... all accumulates into this heavyhearted masterpiece that has me laying in bed and crying to. also the cover art fucks

graduating - nell mescal: oh this song... whew. it’s bittersweet. i know i describe a lot of songs on here as melancholic but this fits it to a tee. it’s also angry and hurting. like poking at a fresh bruise or an open wound. you want to heal but can’t do that without aggravating the pain, whether purposefully or not 

i wanna - ella jane: back again with the yearning! i had to google what the artist says about this song and she describes it as coming from being fed up with being single and admitting to wanting to be in love as such a vulnerable and honest and even embarrassing place and describes the chorus as “empowering” which i completely agree with. 

i WILL, however, debate with the interviewer of the article where they say the song “felt like they were in a coming-of-age film.” i wouldn’t definitively categorize this song as “coming-of-age” though i can see how it can be seen as such. it’s just not letting it live to its full potential. it’s a disservice. falling in love or realizing you want to be in love and be in a relationship isn’t limited to the ages between childhood/adolescence/adulthood. love can be found at any age! BUT i am also not trying to make this song inaccessible to people who are at that age (since ella jane is a young adult and wrote this song recently) and could benefit from hearing it

coolest fucking bitch in town - haley blais: already poured out the majority of my thoughts on this song to @152glasslippers whose tags introduced me to it and WOW. mind = blown. it’s nothing like i expected from the title and openly admit i was humbled right from the start. it’s soft yet still unapologetic and cathartic. i’ve been thinking about those trumpets ever since yesterday

[mugiwara-no-toshokan]

Thrice Prophesized

CisFem Reader x Roronoa Zoro

CW: In-Universe levels of violence, amnesia, romance, reader gets some good bad-ass moments, but shouldn't feel Overpowered if I did my job well, surprisingly no smut in this one loves, but it's book 1 of 2.

Still 18+

Chapter 16: Snowed

Your fingers slid along the edge of the portal as your palm flattened against it. Realization sunk into you and those on the other side of the portal at the same time. Putting your hands on either side of the portal you give your Lord and Lady your best smile.

“It’s okay!” You assure them. “It’s… there’s something I need to do here. Someone from our world set it up centuries ago, and so I should – I need to – honor…” You shake your head, you didn’t have much time, you needed to be honest. “I’m sorry My Lord, but I must resign from my position. I can no longer be a knight of Winternight. Thank you, thank you for trying to bring me back home, but…” Your last words are soft, hardly more than the motion of your lips and you aren’t even entirely sure the Lord and Lady heard them. “I already am.”

You’re resolved. You wanted to stay. At some point in the back of your mind you wanted to stay, and wasting time and energy trying to deny it any further was only going to cause pain for the people you cared for back home. You could see the sorrow and understanding cross the generally stoic faces of your Lucaren and Elizabeth.

“(Y/N), something over here is looking for you. After this, you must avoid winter magic. Another portal may bring only danger.” Lucaren explains swiftly. “I release you from your service to my house, may the choices you make honor yourself first and that world second.”

May the choices you make honor yourself first, and the law second. That was how it usually went, the idea being that upstanding knights who were retired with honors would uphold the laws of a land by the standards of their own personal honor, unless those laws became truly unjust.

You were being bid farewell with honors.

You snapped to attention. “As dawn follows the coldest blizzard, they shall.”

The portal fades, snapping out of existence as the tension shatters in your own body and you collapse to your knees in the snow. That was that. You were here. You didn’t know why you couldn’t pass through the portal, and you hadn’t had enough time to try and figure it out, even if all of Winternight had come to help.

You made your choice, and it wasn’t regret that had you crumpled into the snow, it was simply sorrow. Grief at the loss of everything that you had decided to leave behind. Just because you had made the choice it didn’t make the sense of loss any easier.

You barely heard the soft crunch of snow as he approached you. Everyone walked different, and you could always tell in the snow. There, or here. Besides, you had spent the last few days hearing nothing but the tailored steps of everyone crunching in the snow. Even Brook’s light steps had become cadence in your mind.

A stern face and a single eye found you, kneeling in front of you before you could look up or say anything. You weren’t even sure what it was you wanted to say.

“It’s okay.” He says quietly. Zoro moves smoothly, taking your arms and putting them around his neck as he pulls you into his chest and stands up. You were asleep the last time you were in this position, but it was comfortable, and right now, it was comforting.

The walk back to the Sunny was silent. In a way it felt as if the crew was mourning with you, the soft, persistent, crunch of snow was the only sound, a steady ode to a land they only knew through you. A beautiful song, broken only by the quiet lyrics of the tears that slipped down your cheeks and disappeared into the fluffy coat collar of a demonic swordsman.