#all the family stories and secrets and grief this man knows...

[factual-fantasy]

Heya Factual! Congrats on the 23,000! Yet another well deserved milestone earned by your hard work and dedication! Really sorry about the cold- we always seem to get sick at the worst of times! Definitely don't do anything crazy till you're 100%, but thanks for making that really cute celebration piece- you can really tell how much the factual Fam cares about you from their worried expressions...and then there's Gerald, who refuses to let his happy demeanor waver for a second! Though then again, he is still quite young- he might not even understand the concept of getting sick yet!

And on that note, at least till you're better, I definitely won't send any unnecessarily exhausting Asks like last time ( thanks for answering that so thoroughly though- that was really cool! ) and just keep it simple- and my ask today is regarding the simplest Mario enemy, the goomba!

You've mentioned them in the past as beings created by Kamek- How does he do it? How long has he been doing it? Are the goombas sentient, or just savage constructs? How many are there, in ratio to the Koopas? Did the bros have to fight through a bunch of them on their way to the castle? And do any of their variants exist, such as the micro goombas, para goombas, or giant goombas? We require the Goomba Lore!

Thank you! :DD I'm doing my best to take it easy.. I've spent most of my days recently either sleeping, sitting, or playing Pokemon Scarlet XDD that's relaxing right? Yes, I believe so-

As for Gerald, he isn't ignorant to my condition- he's actually meant to be surprisingly emotionally aware. :0 He's smiling though all this because he wants the others to be happy. And if he's calm and smiling, maybe we'll smile too.. 🥺

I was intending to draw a comic that goes into Gerald's character a bit more... But I just haven't been well enough recently to take on a project like that.. :((

And don't worry about "exhausting asks", I encourage them! :D I could really use some lengthy asks as a form of distraction to be honest.. 🥹💔

Speaking of asks, about your Goomba questions..

Well, starting with Kamek actually- I have intentions to make him a few hundred years old. Being the most powerful magikoopa there ever was supposedly.. and he's been associated with the royal Koopa family for generations.. though this idea is in canon limbo, because I'm having trouble figuring how exactly he's managed to live so long. Considering how magic works in my au.. his lengthy life span shouldn't be possible..

None the less, even though I haven't gotten that idea to fit yet- I love it so much that most of the au kinda branches off from it- <XDDD so with that established, Kamek brings Goombas to "life" using magic of course!

I was thinking that the ability animate dead/inanimate things is a very complex magic that took Kamek years to learn. And he was only finally able to master it in the last 100 years or so.

Now for the Goombas, they are not sentient for sure. They are just these little.. zombie like.. machines. They start as poisonous mushrooms and when they are "brought to life", they gain this desire and need move and attack anything that doesn't appear to be a Koopa.

As for the Koopa to Goomba ratio.. I'd say they make up 1.5/10 of the kingdoms population. They are very disposable and "easy" to make.. but they are relatively fragile creatures and take a while to grow.. plus the Goombas don't live very long. Since they uproot themselves upon being "Goomba-fied", they eventually wilt and die.. :/ so that number doesn't ever go over 1.5.

I'm sure Mario and Luigi had to squash some on the way to save Peach the first time. But it was only after her rescue that one landed a bite on Luigi..

As for their variants, the micro and Giant Goombas surly exist! Though king Goomba might not because the original brown mushrooms probably don't grow that big-

As for para-goombas.. hmm.. I know there won't be any Goombas with wings going around. But perhaps there could be a Goomba that can release airborne spores.. or at the very least can attack from afar.. that could get them the title of para-goomba! :0

I think I covered everything, I hope at least-

Thank you for the ask and interest in my au! :DDD it was a nice read and took my mind off of all my ailments for a short time 🥹💖

[thenightwolf51]

"Danny was born a Wayne" AU except he's Bruce's grand uncle. The result of a one time drunken affair, shortly before Kenneth Wayne's death, to a young unmarried woman who gave the baby up for adoption.

(Whether the Fenton's, and therefore Amity, were just ahead of their times or the DC timeline is shifted a bit so that DP happens in its cannon era is up to you. Dealers choice, though now that i know about her i just love badass widowed prohibition leader Laura Elizabeth Wayne)

Danny grows up knowing hes adopted and loved by the Fentons but something (dealer's choice) happens and he loses his family and friends (maybe the whole town goes too?). In an attempt to avoid a Dan situation he flees into the Infinite Realm and doesn't stop.

He just wanders, time passes in its weird Realms way, not that Danny truly notices. A protector spirit thats lossed everything it protected. Its a wonder he doesn't fade and he actually might've if it wasn't for his human side.

But its a tug at his core that brings him from his near catatonic wandering. Gone before he can even understand it but enough to shake him back to himself. Enough to know that hes nowhere near ready to go anywhere familiar so he continues on, his wandering no less pointless but at least he's aware again.

What feels like a relatively short time later he gets another tug, and this time he manages to follow it.

He follows it invisibly through a natural portal that drops him somewhere in New Jersey and all the way to a fancy hospital room in the gloomiest city he's ever seen.

In there he sees his half brother Patrick Wayne, though he wont figure out their connection for a few more years, holding little Agatha. She's adorable in her little dress and pigtails and her sweet face causes that familiar tug he recognizes from what must have been six years ago given the girls age.

Then a nurse comes in and hands a little bundle to what must be the mother (whos name i cant find) and Danny takes one look at the little core tugger who brought him here and just melts. Even without knowing yet that this is his last remaining family, his instincts latch on and he vows to protect and care for the Waynes.

And he does.

He finds his forgetful brother's documents and keeps Aggy company when everyone else is busy and soothes baby Thomas so his poor sister-in-law can get some more sleep. He ices fevers and bruised knees and helps on later games of hide and seek.

He very rarely becomes visible and only to the children. His grief over the Fenton's convinces him its better to protect his new family from the shadows.

Danny explores every inch of the manor, including secret passages and an underground cave system. He claims a forgotten room in the back of the attic as his own, which over the years fill up with knickknacks, heirlooms, and pictures of the family. Even a gift or two from Agatha, who hadn't stopped believing in their shadowy guardian like her brother did when Danny felt they were too old to see him without drawing suspicion.

The manor becomes his haunt and he always knows where each family member is within it. And when any guests have some no good intentions.

And when baby Bruce is born tugging at his core and with the bluest little eyes, he welcomes the fussy little thing. And makes sure dear Martha never knows just how fussy baby Bruce really is, otherwise she might've never had a full nights sleep.

Danny blames himself for not being there when Thomas and Martha die, and promises to never leave Bruces side, practically becoming the boy's living shadow. Watching over him as he gets older, secretly aiding him in his training. Danny feels a bit of pride when Bruce takes some inspiration from the old stories Thomas told him of the shadowy Wayne family protector when creating his Batman identity, glad his nephew still remembers him even if he hasn't shown himself since the now young man was six.

Danny continues to protect and care for the family in a variety of ways over the years even as the family grows.

Lightening Alfred's workload, softening Dick's falls, calming Jason's temper both pre and post pit, hiding Tim's coffee when the boy hasn't slept in far too long, providing plenty of shadows and hiding nooks for Cass, helping Damian hide the litter of kittens he found.

And no one seems to know he's there, except maybe Cass and he's pretty sure Alfred has been know since he first started working for the family. No one knows, that is, until Duke Thomas moves in and lookes right at him watching invisibly from the sidelines.

(@omnicrafts @dcxdpdabbles @hdgnj @ailithnight @nelkcats @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 i dont know, the main point of all this is that Danny's been protecting the Wayne family for decades and no one, except maybe Alfred, knew until Duke moved in)

[sassydefendorflower]

It's actually so important to me that the first time we see Ed actually cry in Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood and Manga) - apart from the automail surgery - is when Hohenheim offers him his life to bring back Alphonse.

Throughout the entire story Ed doesn't cry because of his misguided love-filled promise to Al. No matter how horrible their odds, no matter how traumatizing their journey, Ed refuses to cry. He comes close. So, so close. When Izumi tells them it's okay to be sad, offering comfort after a long time without. After Nina dies and Ed and Al let the rain wash away their sorrow. When Hughes dies and guilt becomes an even heavier cloak weighing their shoulders down. When death comes knocking on Ed's door and he decidedly sends it packing.

Ed laughs and rages and smiles and screams.

But he doesn't cry.

Just because Al can't.

Ed was eleven when he made that promise. He was a child suffering through something truly horrific when he promised himself and the world that he wouldn't cry as long as his brother wasn't allowed to do the same.

Which is painful to watch - especially since it tells us that Ed knows how much crying is a part of life. He gave something up, not out of some misguided idea of masculinity, but because he knew it would be a sacrifice to keep himself from crying. A punishment since his brother could no longer offer his tears in the face of sorrow.

But by the end of the story Ed has cried. And it's not tears of joy, like the ones he promised Winry. No, Ed is angry when he cries - and Alphonse is no longer there.

In a way Ed kept his promise to Al - he only cried when the person he made this promise to (be it silent and secretive) was gone.

As far as they knew Al was dead.

But that truth alone didn't bring tears to Ed's eyes, though it certainly shattered his heart and made him quiver in desperation. No, in the end it was Hohenheim who finally allowed Ed to spill tears kept locked away for four long years.

And I love it.

I love that Hohenheim trying to do something truly loving, something completely selfish, something absolutely sacrificial was the thing that pushed Ed over the edge.

Because Ed never forgave his father for leaving, but by the end of the story he understands why he left.

Because Ed is so unbelievably angry with this man who abandoned him, and he still cares for him - partially because he knows Alphonse does.

Because Ed was never forced to forgive Hohenheim, but we still know that Hohenheim loves his children and his wife and would do everything for them.

Even, no, especially if it means dying.

And Ed can't take it.

So many others have died by this point, they are all painted in blood and pain, and Ed has lost his only constant - and now his father wants to make an ultimate sacrifice?

No.

So, Ed gets angry. And he cries. And he saves Al on his own - with the help of all of his friends, and Hohenheim.

Because no matter Ed's feelings on the man who gave him life, he doesn't want to see anyone else die. He doesn't want anyone else's blood on his hands.

And he wants Hohenheim to get a chance to be a rotten father - because at the end of the day Hohenheim is someone worth crying over even, no, especially by the boy who promised he wouldn't cry.

(there is something to be said about Hohenheim crying on their family portrait, only to be mirrored by Ed grinning while holding his own child - there is something to be said about Hohenheim willingly offering his life, only to be stopped by the tears running down his son's angry face - there is something to be said about Ed's anger and Hohenheim's soft grief and their shared past)

[scarletwitching]

In What If…Wanda Maximoff and Peter Parker Were Siblings? A Scarlet Witch & Spider-Man Story, the fabric of reality is altered once more, and this time Wanda Maximoff, AKA the Scarlet Witch, hails from a distinct corner of the Multiverse where her origin story gets a unique twist. All Wanda has ever known is her friendly little neighborhood in Queens. As an infant, after her parents died, she was adopted into a family where her doting Aunt May and Uncle Ben will always be at the breakfast table. One that includes her idiot brother, Peter Parker, who thinks hiding a spider bite, joining a secret fight club, and becoming a super hero are somehow good ideas. When Wanda’s own powers emerge, blood, chaos, and suspicion follow in their wake. But as she harnesses her power under the guidance of Doctor Strange, Peter is standing beside her in the Sanctum Sanctorum. And as they try to protect New York City, the Parker siblings learn that with great powers, there must also come great responsibilities—and greater loss. Reeling from tragedy, Wanda finds herself truly alone for the first time in her life. Peter is lost to his own grief, and so she must strike out on her own. But on her first solo outing, she runs into a mysterious speedster—a man named Pietro. And everything she has ever known shatters like glass. Faced with unbelievable truths, Wanda is forced to choose between the life she knows and the life she could have… (x)

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Sins of the Family

Part 3 of Family and Pawns

Warnings: car accident, mention of death and grief, kidnapping, implied sexual assault, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, mention of past sexual assault, death, usage of a fire arm, angst with a happy ending, everyone needs a hug and no one is okay

Note: This is maybe the last story of this AU unless I get a request for another part.

Word Count: 10k (I don't want to talk about how long this)

“Cooper!” You shirked as the eldest Barton shot you with a water gun. It was an all out water war between you, Tommy, and Billy against the three Bartons plus Kate and Yelena. The twins thought it was unfair that the two Avengers were on the same time but the Black Widow has to remind them that they were enhanced, they did it so the teams would be more even. Speaking of your brother, Tommy ran behind Cooper and dumped a bucket of water on him. Before the eldest Barton could turn around, he was gone.

“Hey!” He whipped the water out of his eyes. “I thought we said no powers.” Tommy appeared next to you.

“That’s what you get for targeting our sister,” he held up his fist and you pumped it against his.

“Kids, lunch is ready.” Laura called out. You liked Iowa. It was quiet, peacefully, and the Bartons were welcoming. You sat next to Nate with a towel wrapped around your shoulders. Natasha warned you that the youngest Barton would probably be quiet, still processing the death of his father.

“So, what do you want to do after we eat?” You asked. He shrugged, biting into his hot dog. It was just you and the young boy at the table while everyone was pilling food onto their plate. “Can I tell you a secret?” You whispered to him. Nate slowly nodded his head. “It’s okay to be happy and still miss you.” You saw his little body tense up but he still refused to look at you. “It’s okay to be angry with him,” you continued. “And still love him.” A small whimper left his mouth and your heart broke for him. You wished you could take away all of his pain. You would take it all away if you could.

“It’s okay to be angry with Nat and be glad she’s alive because he is no longer here.” It was like the dame broke. You saw his body shake as quiet tear fell down his cheeks. You panicked, body frozen as he dropped his hot dog and climbed onto your lap. His face pushed against your damp shirt and you felt his tears. You glanced up and saw Laura, wide eyes and about to walk over to her emotionally distraught son but you held up her hand to stop her. “I’m going to pick up. Okay, buddy?” He tightened his grip on you. You stood up from the table, your towel fell to the ground, and you walked over to the swing that was handing from the tree.

This was what he needed. Someone to let himself cry without adding to their own grief. So you let him cry against you as you pushed yourself on the swing. “I’m sorry,” he said once his tears stopped. You forced him to look at you. There was snot running down his nose and his cheeks were blotchy.

“Hey, little man, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay for your feelings to be all over the place but we are here for you. Whatever you need,” he nodded and rested his head back on your chest.

“Does it get easier?” That was the million dollar question. You met an older lady while you took a walk during your lunch. She asked about your family not knowing the truth. While she learned about your parents, she told you about her late husband. You asked her the same question. She told you a metaphor that her therapist told her. Your grief was like a red button instead a box with a ball that rolled around. Since the grief was newer the ball would hit the button all the time, no matter what you were doing your grief was powerful. You felt it in everything you did.

Over time, the box got bigger and the grief stayed the same size but it wouldn’t hit the button all the time. You sighed, kissing the crown of his head. “Yeah,” you whispered. “It gets easier.”

*

“Remember,” Wanda said, glancing at you and the twins. “Billy, you need to bring in your permission slip. Tommy, we have to go to the mall and get you new shoes,” the twins nodded their heads. “And you have a meeting with the home school agency. Did you finish your essay?” You glanced over the book you were reading. The trip to Iowa was done and it was time to head back to reality which meant starting home school. The couple asked if you wanted to attend another school but the incident with Henry and Coach Griffo made you lose faith in the schooling system. Home school was the best option for you and they agreed.

“I finished it before we left for Iowa.”

“Atta girl,” Natasha winked at you from the driver’s seat.

“Nerd,” Tommy mumbled with a smile on his face. You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

“Dork,” you countered. You were an only child for the longest time it was such a nice change to mess with someone.

“Children,” Natasha warned but before she could continue her scolding. You heard the impact before you felt in. Instinct kicked in and you braced yourself for the impact, your body tensed with fear.

The collision was violent, the force of the impact threw you forward. You felt the searing pain shoot through your body. For a moment, everything seemed to spin, the world titled at an impossible angle. The sound of the twins screams echoed in your ears. Once the car settled, your vision was blurry but you saw Wanda and Natasha with their heads to the side. They weren’t moving. You tried to look at the twins but a sheering pain caused black spots to cover your vision. A soft whimper left your lips and the world went dark.

*

You heard a soft voice calling out to you. She was saying your name over and over again to urge you to wake up. You were so tired. It seemed easier to keep your eyes closed and sleep but the voice was persistent, a little annoying. It kept getting louder and louder until it was impossible to ignore. “Mama,” you gasped awake. Your chest was heaving, eyes darted around the foreign room. You groaned softly as the pain of the car accident caught up with you. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Your hands were cuffed to metal chains that were attached to the wall. The room was four walls with two doors; one of them was boarded up with wood.

In the corner, you saw Tommy. His hands were free from restraint but a collar was around his neck. “Tommy,” you called out. “Tommy, wake up.” You said a bit louder. Still he laid still, on his stomach. “Come on. This isn’t funny wake up,” you pleaded, desperation oozing from each word. Finally, he groaned. “Oh thank you,” you said, your head leaning back against the wall.

“My head hurts,” he wined, rolling onto his back. It took a moment but he sat up quickly. “What happened?”

“We were in a car accident. I don’t know where we are,” he stumbled to his feet. “Easy,” but he ignored you, wrapped his hands around the chains, and pulled. They weren’t moving. “Tommy, stop. You are going to hurt yourself.” He shook his head.

“I can get you out,” he pulled at them again. “I can get us out and we can go home!” He fell to his butt with a huff. “What’s around your neck?”

“Probably the same thing around yours,” Tommy reached around his neck to touch the collar. You stood up and found out you could reach the mattress but not the door. You sat down and opened your arms, there was a sharp pain in your shoulder. Tommy took the opportunity to lay in your lap.

“They are going to find us,” he looked up at you. “Right?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Or we’ll get out of here by our self.”

*

Natasha was barely listening to Sam as he spoke with local police and Yelena and Kate were looking at the car crash. Her eyes were on her wife and Billy as they sat on the back of an ambulance. The EMT was cleaning a cut on Billy’s head and his arm was in a sling to help his shoulder. Wanda seemed untouched but Natasha had a faint memory of her wife’s magic wrapping around the car before she blacked out. She wanted Helen to do a check up on him when they were done here. “Thank you officer,” Sam said. Natasha turned back into the conversation. “Are you sure you don’t want to get checked out?”

“I’m fine,” she wasn’t really. It was taken every fiber in her body to not lose it. Her daughter and son were taken right from underneath her nose. By focusing on the pain radiating through her body she wasn’t going to lose her cool. Her sister and Kate walked over to them. “What do we know?” She asked.

“It was one van that hit your car,” Kate handed her a tablet with a feed of the car accident. “Then two more vans showed up and took Y/n and Tommy.” Natasha watched as two men existed their car and ran to the back of the car to get you and Tommy. Why didn’t they take Billy?

“The plates were stolen but we are having Peter check out the original owners,” Yelena said, taking the tablet from Natasha. “We know this was planned. They never looked at the camera so we can’t run facial recognition..”

“So we have nothing on who took my kids.”

“We will find them, Nat,” Sam said. “You have my word but we need to get you, Wanda, and Billy back to the tower where it’s safe. We don’t know if they’ll come back,” that made Natasha’s blood run cold. She couldn’t let them take anyone else.

“Okay,” she said.

“Kate and I will drive you back,” Natasha nodded and walked over to the ambulance. Her body ached but she put on a smile as she got closer.

“Hey bud,” she whispered. “How are you?” Billy shrugged, not looking up at the Black Widow. Natasha frowned, looking at the witch. ‘He hasn’t spoken,’ Wanda’s voice echoed in her head. Natasha nodded. “We are gonna head to the tower with Auntie Lena and Aunt Kate, okay?” Billy nodded, jumping off the back and head over to his aunts. But the young boy didn’t reach out for comfort from his aunts. Instead, he walked right past them to the car. Natasha sighed, feeling her wife grab her hand.

“You haven’t gotten checked out, moya lyubov’ (my love),” Wanda said.

“I’m fine,” but she knew she couldn’t lie to Wanda as easily as she did with Sam. Wanda stopped walked. “Wanda-” Natasha pleaded.

“This is not your fault, okay?” Natasha looked at her sister. Yelena was leaning against the car, trying to get Billy to talk. “And I will remind you that at every step. We will find them and Billy will be okay,” Natasha surged forward capturing Wanda’s lips into a kiss. The kiss was frantic, messy as Natasha hung onto Wanda.

“I can’t lose you,” she whispered against Wanda’s lips.

“You won’t. I’m here. I’m right here.”

*

You let Tommy fall asleep, resting between your legs and you ran your fingers through his hair. You wanted to close your eyes and sleep but you couldn’t. What if when you closed your eyes and the door opened and they came in to take your brother? So you sat and replayed moments in your head. The first time you met the Romanoff-Maximoff family and the night the couple told you they wanted to adopt you. They were going to find you. Until then you had to be strong and protect Tommy.

Finally, you heard the door unlock and slowly open. The sound caused Tommy to stir awake but you kept your arms around him as 3 men walked in; two were carrying bowls. “Food,” the man up front said. He was Russian and the men behind him set the bowls near the mattress. But you both didn’t move. “You are going to need your strength.”

“What do you want with us?” You asked. He didn’t answer, instead he gestured to the man on his left and he walked over to you. He ribbed Tommy from your arms. “No!” You jumped to your feet but the man held your brother by his throat and put a gun to his temple. “Please don’t hurt him.” Tommy struggled against his capture but it made no difference.

“Let me make myself perfectly clear,” he stepped forward. “When I say you eat, you eat. When I say jump, you ask how high. Your brother’s life is my hands, do you understand my malen’kaya ten’ (little shadow)?” You glanced at Tommy.

“I understand,” the man holding your brother threw him to the ground. Before you could help, the man grabbed onto your chin to force you to look at him.

“He is collateral,” he said. “I won’t hesitate to kill him if you disobey me.” You nodded and he let you go. You ran over to Tommy and he assured you he was okay as the three men left.

“Do you know them?” He asked. You shook your head. You didn’t, you’ve never seen those men in your life.

“But he definitely knew me,” you sat back on the mattress with the bowl. It was a soup of some kind.

“He called you little shadow,” he said, sitting next to you with his bowl in his lap. Little shadow. Your spoon stopped in mid air. You hadn’t thought about that nickname in months since Jason was killed. “Do you want this?” He asked, holding up his bowl. “I don’t like it.” You laughed at the scrunch of his nose.

“Eat it,” you said, taking a spoonful of your own. It wasn’t bad just bland compared to Wanda’s flavorful cooking. “I think he’s right when he said we’ll need our strength.”

*

Wanda hated this. This intense feeling of worthlessness as she had no idea where her son and daughter were or who took them. She couldn’t even help her other son who hasn’t spoken or eaten since the accident. He was shutting her out and that scared her even more. “But why not take all three of your kids?” Maria asked. The available Avengers met at the tower to come together to find you and Tommy. They were in the conference room while Pepper and Happy watched Billy and Morgan. She hated being away from him but he didn’t need to be here for this. “If they want to hurt you, why did they just take Y/n and Tommy?” It was a good question and one Wanda couldn’t answer. Natasha and her made a lot of enemies throughout their time as Avengers. The list was long.

“Maybe it’s not about us,” Natasha said, picking at the skin around her thumb. Wanda grabbed her hand to stop her. “Have we found anything about Jason?” Tony pulled up the hologram of the man that took advantage of you. The sight still made Wanda’s blood boil.

There wasn’t much they knew about the man that could help them. Only child, whose parents divorced when he was a kid, and his father was in and out of rehab facilities. He was in extreme debt and unemployed. At his last job, he suffered a shoulder injury which allowed him to cash in disability checks.

“What about her parents?” Yelena asked. “Jason must have known them. There was no way them meeting was a coincidence,” she had a good point. Tony put up two holograms of your parents. You rarely spoke about them. Maybe it hurt to much to think about them. Your parents were Daniel and Harper. In 2018, two months after Thanos exterminated half of all living things. Harper was diagnosed with cancer. It seemed so unfair how much pain your family was subjected to in a short amount of time. Your mother was a house keeper while your father worked in construction. They were living pay check to paycheck since Harper was out of work while she received treatment from a Dr. Joshua Harris. Unfortunately, Harper’s treatment wasn’t successful. She passed away. Your father took his own life two months after his wife passed. In three years, you would return and your parents were gone.

“We are missing something,” Natasha stood up suddenly. “If they were being blackmailed or were involved in something there wouldn’t be a paper trail.”

“Nat is right,” Sam said. “Yelena, Kate go talk to Harper‘s doctor maybe he can tell us something.” The duo stood up to leave the room, Yelena squeezed Natasha’s shoulder before they left. “Peter, Maria, and Bucky will try to find an angel on ().” A plan was made. It wasn’t a lot but it was something. Natasha and Wanda left to go find Billy. He was laying on the couch, watching Morgan play with her dolls.

“Hey,” Wanda said, sitting down next to him. “Have you eaten anything?” He shook his head.

“Why don’t I make some mac and cheese?” Natasha suggested. Billy brightened up slightly.

“And a hot dog,” The Black Widow smiled.

“Anything for you, bud,” she walked into the kitchen.

“How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?” Helen gave all three of them a clean bill of health besides the normal ache and pains. Bill frowned, moving to rest his head on her lap. “Talk to me, dorogoy (sweetheart). Please.” She ran her fingers through his hair.

“I can’t feel them, mam,” he whispered. “I keep trying but I don’t know where they are. I-,” his voice cracked. “That’s what hurts mama. I want them home.” Wanda saw the signs of Billy’s powers getting out of control. They were similar in that sense when their emotions got overwhelming their powers were unpredictable. It was a work in process to help him contain it. The witch forced Billy to sit up and moved him so he sat on her lap, his chest against hers.

“Breath, Billy. I need you to breath.”

“I can’t,” he gasped and his hands twisted in the fabric of Wanda’s shirt.

“Yes, you can,” Wanda kept her voice soft. She watched Natasha walk over with the plate of food. She almost dropped it at the state of Billy was in. “Your mom and I got you,” Wanda held out her hand for Natasha to grab. She put the food down and took her hand. Gently, Wanda placed Natasha’s hand on their son’s back and traced soothing circles. “Just focus on us.” Wanda began to hum, a simple lullaby she would sign to them when they were babies. It seemed to work. She felt Billy slump against her and his breathing calmed down.

“You are doing so good, bud.” Natasha said, locking eyes with Wanda. If there was one thing Wanda loved about Natasha it was her eyes. They were so expressive. Even when her face was so stoic, her eyes gave away so much.

“It’s okay,” Wanda smiled. “Everything is going to be okay.” She said it for all three of them. Everything was going to be okay.

*

When the door opened again, you and Tommy were playing Concentration. It was the same man from before. He walked over to you, twirling a key in his hand. He grabbed onto your hands and unlocked the cuffs. “Come with me,” you rubbed at your wrists. “Both of you.” You stood up and the two men grabbed Tommy. “You can call me, Dmitri, okay?” He put his arm around your shoulder as the two men walked out of the room. “We had a mutual friend. Do you know who?” Outside the room, you call tell you were in an abounded hospital. Empty beds with rusted frames sat against the peeling walls, the mattresses long gone or decayed. The air was heavy with the scent of dust and decay. The doors that weren’t locked shut were hanging off the hinges. Your small group weren’t the only ones in the hallway but the ignored you, focused on their task of cleaning.

At the nurse station, the desk was covered in a thick layer of dust, and the files lie scattered and forgotten. Some of the signs still hung on the wall but were faded, their messages no longer conveyed a feeling of hope.

“Jason,” you finally replied.

“Oh she is smart,” he teased. “He was a good man, more loyal to his cock then the cause,” he squeezed your shoulder and the soup you ate turned in your stomach. They brought you into a room. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the hospital. The room was well kept with multiple screens and a generator in the corner. There were weapons scattered against the tables set up. It was eerily silent besides a man typing away at the computer. Your brother was forced into a chair and metal restraints were put on his legs and arms. “Are you ready for your mission, malen’kaya ten’?” You glanced at Tommy.

“I am,” you whispered. Dmitri handed you a tactical suit, similar to the one you’ve seen Natasha ware.

“Change into this,” you took it from him and hesitated. “Change now.” Your hands shook as you took off the clothes you decided to wear on the trip home from the Bartons, simple tracksuit that Kate bought for you. You weren’t blind to the way Dmitri’s eyes racked up and down your body. His footsteps moved behind you and he grabbed the zipper and zipped it up. His hands landed on your shoulders. “Good girl,” Dmitri whispered the name as if it was a secret for only you and him. The name caused your stomach to turn. “This is for you,” it was a com and you put it in your ear. “You and I are going for a little ride and you will listen to every word I say,” he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at Tommy. The sudden movement caused you to stumble into him and his free arm wrapped around your waist, trapping you from moving. “If you don’t your baby brother’s brains will be splattered all over that wall.”

“I understand,” you said. “Can I give him a hug?” He thought about it.

“Make it quick. I’m not a monster,” You walked over to Tommy and hugged him tight.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you whispered.

“Same to you,” you kissed the top of his head and walked over to the man. He said he wasn’t a monster but that was up for some debate. Delete Created with Sketch.

“Where are we going?” You asked. He blindfolded you the minute he lead you out of the building. Being in the backseat of a car was nauseating as you tried to make sense of the turns but it was impossible.

“We are almost there,” your leg began to shake but you felt his hand on your thigh. Automatically your body tensed up. “It’s okay, malen’kaya ten’, I won’t hurt you.”

“You see why I find it hard to believe,” you said. “I thought Jason wasn’t going to hurt me and we both know how that ended.” He removed his hand and your body relaxed.

“We’re here,” the car stopped and blindfold was removed from your eyes. The sun caused you to wince and it took a minute for your eyes to adjust to the harsh light. “We are at the office of Dr. Harris,” you didn’t recognize the name. “You are going to sneak into his office and place this listening device somewhere he won’t find it,” you took the device from him. “Then you will use this on his computer and it will copy all of the files, it will take 15 seconds.”

“How do you expect me to sneak in with this stupid collar on?” You asked. He pulled out a key and took it off. A weight that was on your chest was lifted off. He put a small camera on your chest.

“Remember what I have,” you sighed.

“I do,” you fazed through the car. You kept your powers on as you walked over to the office and walked through the door. You stood in a small entry way with a door in front of you and on your right. A metal sign displayed each specialties the office offered. Dr. Harris’ office was through the door in front of you and he was a medical oncologist. You frowned, ignored the tight knot that formed in your stomach, and moved onto the next door.

It was a simple waiting room, there was a few patients in the chairs. the receptionist was speaking with a young woman through the glass that separated them. The patient had a beanie that covered her head. It was no use to stay and listen to the conversation that was happening so you moved past the nurse that opened the door to call the next patient.

Lucky, there was signs that pointed you in the right direction. However, your feet stopped when you passed a large open area. There was a nurse station on one wall and spread across the room were chairs; some empty. But the people that were in those chairs were attached to IVs. Curiously, you walked towards the nurse station and read the pamphlets they had out. 20 different recipes to eat try during Chemotherapy. What is radiation? How to overcome it? You were in a cancer center.

‘Ah,’ Dmitri said. ‘I forgot you weren’t around to see your mommy sub come to the horrible disease,’ When you were younger, your parents saved enough money to take you to Cooney Island. All the kids at school talked about riding a roller coaster and how cool it was. So you were anxious to go on it. You were nervous and your parents kept saying you did not have to go on it. That no matter what you were their brave girl. You went on it and hated every second of it. The way your stomach dropped at each turn made you sick. You were experiencing that same feeling now. ‘Continue, my little shadow,’ he said. ‘His office is down the hall.’ You nodded and walked that way. The sooner you were done, the faster you could be back with Tommy, safe in the 4 wall cell. Safe wasn’t the correct word you would use but it was better than be separated. You fazed through the doctor’s door. He was sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer. Bookshelf’s were behind him, decorated with pictures of different families. ‘You are gonna have to get him to leave.’ You rolled your eyes. Easier said then done, you thought, how the hell were you going to do that?

As if someone heard your prayer a knock came to the doctor’s door. “Come in,” you moved to the corner as the door opened and the receptionist you saw enter.

“Two Avengers are here to speak with your,” you froze and stomach flipped. Avengers. Two Avengers were here. Your family. ‘Don’t,’ the man hissed in your ear. ‘Don’t forget what I have.’ Oh you didn’t but maybe you could get their attention.

“Of course, please send them right in,” the doctor stood up and straightened the white coat he was wearing. The door opened wider as Kate and Yelena walked in.

“Dr. Harris,” Kate said, extending her hand for the doctor to take. “Kate Bishop and this is Yelena Belova. Thank you for meeting us.” The doctor shook her hand. He went to shake Yelena’s but the blonde refused and sat down in the chair.

“Of course. Anything I can do to help the Avengers,” he sat down and kept his eyes mostly on Kate. You could tell he was intimidate by the Black Widow. You had to stop yourself from laughing. You moved to the window ledge and leaned against it. “What is this about?”

“A former patient of yours,” Kate said. “Does the name Harper Myers ring a bell?” That was your mom’s name. Your stomach dropped. It had been a long time since you’ve heard someone say it.

“The Myers,” he spun around in his chair to look at his wall of pictures. He stood up to grab a frame and looked it over before handing it over to Kate with a sad smile. “They were lovely people,” you walked over to the couple as Kate handed the photo to Yelena. “They had a daughter that I never got to meet her.” You looked at the picture over Yelena’s shoulder. It was a picture of your mom, dad, and you as a baby. They took you o a local mall to see Santa Claus. You were crying, not very happy that a stranger was holding you. Yelena handed the photo back to the doctor but turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes bore into yours and you held your breath.

“Can you tell us about the Myers?” Kate asked. Yelena turned around slowly. You let out a shaky breath and walked back to the widows. ‘You are toeing a dangerous line,’ Dmitri hissed in your ear.

“The Myers were hardworking people. Harper was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2018. It was a miracle she survived as long as she did.” You clenched your jaw and crossed your arms, hugging yourself for some sort of comfort.

“Did you notice any abnormal behavior?” Kate asked. “Besides the obvious going through a cancer diagnosis.” The doctor leaned forward, resting his hands on his chin.

“I take patient confidentiality very seriously,” he said. “Even after death, they are entitled to the same level of respect. So I will ask again, what is this about?”

“Their daughter was kidnapped,” it was the first time Yelena has spoken. “We are searching every possible option to find her.” You watched the doctor’s face pale.

“Is this about the money?” The couple glanced at each other.

“What money?” The doctor sighed and pulled open a drawer. It took him a moment to find what he was looking for. Soon he handed the couple a folder.

“They were struggling financially to cover the cost of the treatment,” you stayed still not wanting to alert Yelena again. “Daniel’s job offered insurance but it barely covered the cost of the treatment plan Harper would need. Out billing department told them they then they came to me and refused treatment. I pleaded with them to reconsider, that I would help them find a way to pay for it. But they refused,” he sighed. Kate placed the file back on his desk.

“But they got the money?” She questioned. The doctor nodded.

“They came back two days later and said they liked to continue with the treatment. I believe Daniel said they got the money from his sister who passed away.” You frowned. Your dad was an only child.

“Did not find that suspicious?” The blonde asked.

“Of course I did but my job is try to save patients lives. I find the monetary part of my job pointless. If I could give treatment to everyone free of charge then I would.”

“Thank you for your time doctor,” Kate said. “Can you show us to your billing department?” Dr. Harris stood up without a word and walked to the door. The couple followed him but Yelena hesitated and looked towards you. “Sweetheart,” the archer said. “Are you okay?” Yelena nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just,” you know I’m here, you thought, I’m here. I’m here. “It’s nothing.” The Black Widow grabbed her hand. Once they left, Dr. Harris closed the door.

‘Hurry up,’ Dmitri said. You walked over his desk and placed the flash drive into the tower. You watched as a loading boar appeared on the screen and began to count up.

“What are you doing?” You asked. The man laughed.

‘We found you through the lovely doctor,’ he said. ‘Can you imagine who else we can have? Especially when hundreds of families are as desperate as yours were.’ The bar was full and you pulled the flash drive out. ‘You did well,’ he said as you walked through the doctor’s door. ‘I’m impressed with your level of submission,’ he chuckled. ‘I thought you’d fight more.’

You wanted to fight. You wanted to kick and scream and go home but how could you. You were tied down to Dmitri as he held your brother over your head. You moved through the front door but stopped.

“We could follow the money,” Kate said. “Have FRIDAY trace the account.” The Black Widow nodded. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’ve been off.” Yelena sighed.

“We are no closer to finding her,” she admitted. “I’m worried.” Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. There was a part of you that feared they would hear it.

‘Move,’ he ordered but you couldn’t. ‘I will kill him.’ He would. You knew he could but your feet felt glued to the spot. ‘One more chance or your brother’s brains will be all over the wall.’

“We will bring her home,” Kate smiled. “Then we’ll never let her go.” They made the choice for you as the couple walked over to where their car was parked. You sighed, finally walking over to the van. The door opened and you materialized as he grabbed you and pulled in. He pinned you to the opposite door, hand loosely around your neck. You felt his breath on your face. “Do you need to be taught a lesson?” The pressure of his hand tightened on your throat. It was getting harder to get air through your lungs.

“No,” you whispered. “No, sir. It won’t happen again.” You were transported back to whenever Jason was upset with you. You took the flash drive out of your pocket. “I did what you wanted,” you reminded him. His eyes flickered to yours and the flash drive. The pressure let up and you sucked in air. He tightened the collar back around your neck and took the flash drive from you. Before he pulled away from you, he kissed your cheek and whispered, “Good girl,” in your ear.

You felt sick, bile creeping up your throat as the car began to drive. It didn’t take long until you were blindfolded again and your leg started to shake.

*

“That’s all we get out of him,” Kate said, ending their debrief on what they found out about the doctor. It wasn’t a lot but Natasha was certain they found you and your family through the doctor. Sam must have agreed as the direction of the conversation shifted to find the link. But the Black Widow wasn’t listening even though it was important. Her attention was on her sister, who was abnormally quiet. She let Kate do a majority of the talking, adding a comment here or there. Now she was quiet, resting her hand on her chin. When the meeting was over, Yelena left quickly. “Hey,” Natasha called out to her. “What’s going on?” Yelena slowed down, allowing her to catch up.

“Something didn’t feel right while we were there,” Yelena said, glancing at her sister. “It was like,” she paused and Natasha allowed her the time to process her thoughts. “Like we were being watched.”

“Were they there?” Did the people who had you and Tommy know they would check there? Yelena sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

“Maybe I don’t know,” With your and Tommy’s enhancements, you were a deadly combination. “It doesn’t hurt to scrub through security footage to find out.”

*

You heard your name being called out and your eyes fluttered open. Dmitri was back. For the first time, he was alone. His guard dogs weren’t insight. “How did you sleep?” He asked, handing you and Tommy a bowl of the same food you ate earlier.

“Well considering the circumstances,” you said, taking a bite. It tasted better than before. “What do we owe the pleasure?” He sat down in front of you, legs crossed and elbows resting on his knees.

“Your sister is pretty incredible,” he said to Tommy. Your brother leaned into your side. “She’s very protective over you, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Tommy whispered. The man smiled.

“What do you want?” You asked again.

“All will be explained but first eat,” you and Tommy both did as he asked and when your bowls were empty, you placed them down and he offered you his hand. Hesitantly, you took it and he pulled you to your feet. Unlike before he put his arm around Tommy and the 3 of you walked down the hallway. His hand was on your waist, a possessive grip that you couldn’t break away. When you entered the room before, his guard dogs were next to the chair. You changed into the suit, put the com in your ear, and hugged Tommy tight.

This time when you were brought to the car, there was no blind fold. Did he see your submissiveness as loyalty? You weren’t sure but the grip he had on you moved to your thigh instead of your hip. It was night but you couldn’t track the turns and stops with his hand on you. “Where are we going?” You finally asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Just relax,” he put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him. “Why are you so tense?” He asked. “Is this not okay?”

“It’s fine,” you tried to relax but your skin felt like it was burning. You let out a shaky breath and placed your arm on his thigh.

“You and I are going to do amazing things,” he said and tried to fight the shiver that ran down your spine.

“I don’t even know what your goal is,” he chuckled, resting his head on top of yours.

“Perform well tonight and I’ll tell you everything.”

The van stopped a block away from a warehouse. “There are 4 guards,” he showed you a security footage of instead the warehouse on a tablet. “I need you to go inside, disable and erase the security footage, kill the guards, and open the doors for our team.”

“Kill,” you whispered. The other things you could muddle through. But killing innocent people, you weren’t sure if you could do that. He handed you a pistol with a silencer. “I don’t kill people.” Each word you spoke shook with your nerves.

“You killed Jason,” that was true but that was out of self-defense. If you didn’t kill him, he was going to kill you. “It’s rather simple,” he maneuvered your hand to attach the gun to your hip. “But the gun to their heads,” he used his finger to lift your head. Your eyes locked onto his. “And blow their brains out. Simple.” There was nothing simple about it. “Are you ready?” You weren’t. All the color drained from your face. Could he hear how fast your heart was beating? “I asked if you were ready, my little shadow.” His face was in the crock of your neck. You felt the vibration of his words against your skin, causing your hairs to stand up. You weren’t ready. But if you failed or disobeyed what would happen? Would they go after Billy? Or maybe Nathaniel? Lila? Or Cooper? You couldn’t risk the safety of your family. His lips grazed your pulse. You nodded, licking your lips.

“I’m ready.”

*

“It’s the same van,” Natasha said to the Avengers with screenshots of traffic footage behind her. It took her, Yelena, and Kate hours to scrub through the footage. At first they found nothing but soon they noticed a black van, always changing license plates and they could never see the driver. They were good which worried Natasha. They weren’t amateur kidnappers. They were professionals but they made a mistake, well 2 mistakes. “The color of the van looks black but it isn’t. The color is sable and only 2 car shops in the city carry that color.”

“We pulled the records of those names and almost reached a dead end but Yelena found our connection,” the blonde smiled and changed the screen to a single white patch.

“What is that?” Maria asked.

“It’s a nicotine patch to help people quit smoking. A majority of them can be bought over the counter but others require a prescription,” Yelena explained. “We cross listed the list from the detail shops with those who have a prescription and he found,” the screen changed again to a man. “A Lucas Bennett.”

“Mr. Bennett has a history of gambling and drinking away his money but he also visited Dr. Harris.”

“Where is he now?” Sam questioned.

“FRIDAY is already pulling up current employers and addresses. It’s just a waiting game,” Natasha said, looking at Wanda. Her hand rested on her chin. “We find him he will lead us to Tommy and Y/n.” She said it convince Wanda and herself. They were so close to finding her other kids.

“Miss. Romanoff, I’ve located Mr. Bennett.” She looked at Sam.

“FRIDAY send us the location,” he said. “Avengers Assemble.”

*

You hated this. Your palms were sweat as you held the pistol. On quiet feet you walked through the warehouse to the first guard. A mantra echoed in your head and you were surprised it was Yelena’s voice- ‘I know exactly who you are. A hero. A protector. A sister.’ At this very moment, you didn’t feel like any of those things. A hero wouldn’t kill innocent men just doing their job. A protector would stand up to Dmitri and find a way to save Tommy. No, you were weak. A spineless fool. You put the barrel of the gun against the guard’s head, closed your eyes, and pulled the trigger. ‘Very good. One down,’ you opened your eyes and stared at the body at your feet. A pool of blood formed around his head. ‘Three more to go.’ You let out a shaky breath and tears formed at the corner of your eyes but you moved on, a job needed to be done.

When you lived with Jason, you were prone to dissociating. It allowed your mind to be protected while he raped you. You found yourself doing it now as if your mind was gone and your body moved on auto pilot. The two guards went down easily, their blood pooled on the floor and splattered on the wall they stood next to. In your ear, Dmitri praised you. Every time he called you ‘his good girl’ the little food in your stomach turn. ‘3 down, one to go.’ he said. ‘Good girl.’

You wanted to rip the com out of your ear, stomp on it. You wanted to go back in time and save those three men you murdered. To go back and stop the car accident but you couldn’t. So with the last guard that stood by the security office, you placed the barrel to the back of his head and pulled the rigger. His body slumped to the ground.

A few weeks ago, you woke up at three in the morning. With your throat dry and you were in desperate need of some water but the water bottle you had was empty. Kicking off the blankets, you braced the cold air of the house and headed to the kitchen. You expected it to be empty so you could fill your water bottle up and quickly go back to sleep. It wasn’t. Natasha was sitting at the kitchen counter and she appeared to be crying? Her sobs were muffled due to her hand being over her mouth but you saw her body shake. You remained frozen, not used to the scene in front of you. The normal level headed Black Widow was sobbing in the kitchen and were lost on what to do.

‘Mom,’ you made your presence known. She was startled, apologized, and asked if she woke you up. Instead of answering, you walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. You felt her body tense up but soon relaxed into you and cried. It could have been hours or maybe minutes but you held onto her tightly. Soon she pulled away and apologized again but you told her it was okay to cry. It was okay to not be strong all the time.

Instead of getting water, hot chocolate was made and you sat with her on the kitchen floor. You talked about everything.- her time in the Red Room, the red on her ledger, and the guilt she felt which lead her to working with SHIELD and the Avengers. Wanda found you and Natasha on the couch fast asleep the following morning.

But the conversation stuck with you and you found yourself thinking about it now while you stared at the body on the ground. There was more on your ledger. After all these years, Natasha was still trying to forgive herself. How long was it going to take you?

‘Hurry along.’ You nodded and fazed through the door to the security office. You plugged in the flash drive and watched the security footage delete, the alarm system turn off, and the metal garage door open. On cue, black vans entered the warehouse and men you didn’t recognize began to open the wooden boxes with crowbars.

“What are they looking for?” You asked, stepping out of the office. They paid no mind to you and continued on their work. You walked over to one of the men. Once the wooden box was open, he pulled out of a brief case. He placed a piece of tape over the finger print scanner and he opened it when it beeped.

“They are here, sir,” the man to Dmitri over his own com.

‘Perfect,’ you heard the smile in his voice. ‘My little shadow you did it!’ He was so proud of you but it filled you with fear. ‘Those pills are psylock. They enhance neural pathways to allow for manipulation,’ each word he spoke, sent a shiver down your spine. ‘Now we don’t also have to take baby brothers has collateral. Everyone will be good obedient soldiers,’ the world around you seem to blur.

“What are you planning?” You questioned. “Why are you building an army?” He scuffed.

‘The world is dirty A filthy, disgusting place so it needs to be rebuilt. You’ve seen the horrors of it. Together we can make it better,’ you had to stop yourself from laughing. This man wanted to make the world better when he was part of the problem. He contributed to the darkness. He was a monster not a savior.

Shooting pulled you out of your thoughts. You gripped the gun in your hand tighter as gun shots bounced off the walls. ‘Run back to me,’ Dmitri said but your feet remained frozen to the ground. You heard them. The voices of the Avengers. ‘Now!’ Still your hesitated when you locked eyes with familiar green ones.

“Mom,” you whispered. They found you. The relief was evident on her face but her eyes asked a question - where is your brother? You smiled, dropped the gun, and ran back to your capture. Ignoring the shouts of your name.

*

Natasha was losing her patience as she grabbed Lucas by the shoulder and throw him into an office chair. He was supporting a gun shot and she knew that wasn’t the only injury he was going to have tonight. “Let’s be honest with one another, okay?” She smiled, feeling her wife’s eyes on her back. The other Avengers were dealing with the other goons. Sam allowed Natasha, Yelena, and Wanda 10 minutes alone with him. “I really want to kill you but I can’t because you have something I need. So answer my one simple question. Where are my kids?” He laughed.

“Go to hell,” the Black Widow’s smile didn’t falter.

“Mr. Bennett,” she dug her finger into the gun shot and he let out a muffled scream, biting down on his lip. “I’m the easy way,” she moved behind him and forced his head to look at Wanda. “Do you see that beautiful woman over there? I get the pleasure to call her my wife and you do want her to find the answers by force.”

“I’m not scared of her,” he spat out.

“I would be,” Yelena mumbled.

“Moya lyubov’ (My love),” Natasha looked at the witch. “Let me talk to him.” She let go of his face and walked over to Wanda. With the hand not covered in his blood, the Black Widow put her hand on the back of Wanda’s neck.

“Find only them, little witch,” she whispered.

“I wont kill him,” her lips twitched and each words was laced with her deep accent. “He will wish for death.” Natasha gently kissed her forehead and let her go.

“I told you,” Yelena said as Wanda’s fingers glowed red. Natasha smirked as her fingers touched his head and he began to scream.

*

“How did they find you?” He asked with his hand tightly wrapped in your hair as he dragged you into a room you’ve never been in. Hew threw you onto the bed and you scrambled to sit up.

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. The man paced in front of you. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me.” H wasn’t acknowledging you to lost in his thoughts. “Please,” you whispered. “Please don’t hurt him.” That stopped him and he faced you. You climbed to the opposite side of the bed, until your back hit the wall. You hated the look in his head. It was a look you’ve seen before. In Jason’s eyes. In every male that looked at you as if you were a toy, a piece of meat for them to taste.

“Strip for me,” he said, removing his tip and setting a pistol on the bed side table.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned even though you fully understood what he said. He chuckled.

“I am getting tired of having to repeat myself,” he rolled up the sleeves to his elbows. “I said strip.”

*

“We found Tommy,” Yelena said through Natasha’s com as they ran through the hallway of the abandoned hospital. “He’s safe minus a bruise on his face.”

“Copy that,” Wanda answered. “We are still searching for Y/n.” They came to a intersection. “I’ll go left and you go right.” Natasha hated the idea of splitting up but they needed to cover more ground.

“Okay,” she squeezed Wanda’s hand. “Be safe and let’s bring our girl home.” The witch squeezed her hand back and took off. The Black Widow let out a shaky breath and ran right. As she ran through the empty corridors, her mind kept turning into a darker place. The emptiness and coldness of it all reminded her of the Red Room. Endless hours she was shuffled through those halls; going to training or the ballet bar or back to her room. Now two of her children have been subjected to the same darkness. The sound of gun shots sent her heart in a panic and pulled her out of her thoughts. Another shot. Followed by another. She swung open the door with her gun drawn but her form faltered when she saw you; wearing only underwear, blood splattered across your face, and a gun in your hand. You pointed the gun at Natasha.

“M-mom,” you whispered. Your eyes were frantic, wide, and scared. Natasha holstered her gun.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she held up your hands when you didn’t lower the gun. “It’s me. It’s your mom.” Delete Created with Sketch.

You had to be dreaming, right? There was no way Natasha was standing in front of you. He had to have drugged you. “Can you put the gun down for me?” She asked, taking a step closer to you.

“Stop, don’t come any closer,” your hand shook but the Black Widow stopped walking towards you.

“I’ll stay right here but I need you to put that gun down.”

“I can’t,” you whispered. Didn’t she understand. You had to protect yourself from her and the men in his organization. “What if they come back for me?” Natasha shook her head.

“They won’t,” she said. “I’m here and you are safe.”

“Safe?” You questioned with a bitter laugh. “Why does this keep happening to me?” You asked, hitting yourself on the chest with your free hand. “Why do people keep using me? I can’t-” your voice cracked. Your throat began to burn as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “I can feel his hands on me. His breath on my neck. Why does this keep happening?” You pleaded with her to have an answer.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Sometimes the world is a dark and evil place and you’ve been subjected to a lot of it.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” You readjusted your grip on the gun. “I can’t do this answer.” You put the barrel of the gun to your temple.

“Sweetheart,” Natasha took a few steps forward but you backed away from her. “You have every right to be angry and upset with how the world as treated you but I promise you whatever happens next I will be there. By yourself or at your back. Just please,” her own voice shook. “Put the gun down and we can go home.”

“Home?” You questioned. You heard footsteps rushing towards the open door and you pointed the gun. It was Wanda. “M-mama,” you whispered.

“Hi, my sweet girl.”She smiled.

“I c-can’t go home,” you said. “I killed those guards and stool information from a doctor. I’m - I’m,” your heart was pounding against your ribs. It was hard for you to get air into your lungs. You put the gun back to your temple.

“You did those things to keep yourself and Tommy safe,” Wanda said. Her voice was strong and steady. “We or the others won’t think of you any differently.”

“Tommy,” you said. “Is he safe?” Natasha nodded.

“He is. He’s with Yelena and waiting for you,” this time when your mom stepped forward you didn’t move. “So is Billy and Kate and Morgan. Just please put the gun down and we can go home.” Home? Home was where you were safe and loved by those around you. You could laugh and joke with your brothers. Play board games at the dining room table. Your hand shook as you set the gun down. It was hard to keep yourself standing and before your knees hit the ground, strong arms caught you. You buried your face into Natasha’s neck and sobbed. Your body shook from the intensities of your cries. Your tears wouldn’t stop. You felt Wanda’s magic enter your mind and every thought, memory went away and you welcomed the darkness.

*

When you came too, you were laying in one of the medical rooms at the tower. You were sandwiched between Billy and Tommy. The twins were asleep, their hands twisting in the fabric of your shirt in a tight fist. Wanda and Natasha were in the chairs on either side of you fast asleep. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling. It reminded you of when they found you after Jason’s attack. They sat by your side until you were healed. You were starting to wonder if you being part of this family was doing more harm then good. “You’re thinking to hard, dorogoy (sweetheart).” You looked at the witch, who was rubbing sleep out of her eyes. You offered her your free hand and she took it.

“I’m sorry,” she shook her head.

“Do not apologize,” she said. “None of this was your fault.” It was hard to believe that you were here. You held tightly onto her hand, scared that if you dropped it or looked away she would disappear. “Hey,” you forced your eyes away from her hand and looked at her. “You are home. You are safe. This is real,” you nodded. “Say it back.”

“This is real,” you repeated. “I am safe. I am home.” There was a shake in your voice that caused Billy to take up. He slowly looked around, eyes laced with sleep. His eyes locked onto yours.

“Your awake,” he said, sitting up quickly and throwing himself into your arms.

“Easy, Billy,” Wanda said. The force knocked the air out of your lungs. It was heightened by Tommy waking up and joining the hug. They hugged you tight as if they to were afraid you’d disappear. There was an ache in your body but you ignored it. You were home. Safe and home.

Natasha got the twins out of the room with the promise of getting ice cream. It was harder for Billy to leave your side but you gave him a smile and promised to play Mario Kart with him. It was just you and your moms and a part of you wished the twins were still there. You felt small under their gaze as you picked at the threads on the blanket. “Tommy filled us in on somethings that happened,” Natasha said. “Do you want to talk about anything?” You crossed your legs and starred at your hands. There was so much you wanted to say but it hurt.

“It was the group Jason worked for,” you whispered. “They found me through my parents. My parents needed money for my mom’s treatment so as an incentive to pay them back I was the bargaining chip,” you shrugged. “In the end, my mom died and my dad couldn’t pay them back so he committed suicide but a debt still needed to be collected,” you pushed away a few tears. “They needed me to steal information from Dr. Harris and get them into that warehouse to steal those drugs. And Dmitri,” you felt bile rise. You closed your eyes and you felt the couple place their hand on top of yours.

“Was like Jason, Coach Griffo, Principal Cook, and Conner. Men that tried to take something that wasn’t there’s to take,” you reopened your eyes and moved your fingers against their hands. It helped ground you. “He made his advances well known but when you found me at the warehouse he was upset and made his move. I killed him,” you sighed, biting your lip. “Natasha found me right after I did it.” You were not looking forward to the next part of this conversation. The Black Widow said your name and you looked at her. Her green eyes were a little glossy.

“I need to ask you this and I need you to be 100% honest with us, okay?” You nodded. “Are you suicidal?” You looked forward, unable to look at either of them.

“I-” you cleaned your throat. “Sometimes I feel their hands on me and the heat of their breath on my neck. I want it all to stop.”

“You didn’t answer her question,” Wanda said. Her small comment made you smile and chuckle softly.

“Because I don’t have an answer for you,” you answered. “I wish I did but right now I feel so dirty and mind is so dark and I don’t feel safe. I’m -”

“Stop apologizing.” Natasha cut you off. “Nothing has been your fault.” You nodded. “And thank you for being honest with us. So here is what’s going to happen,” you looked at her. “You are going to stay at the tower and be monitored by Helen.” That was fair.

“You are going to start speaking to a therapist,” Wanda added on. “Sam has found a few and you can decide which one you like.” You nodded again. “Sweetheart,” you looked at Wanda. Her green eyes matched her wife’s, glossy with tears. “You really scared us. We weren’t sure what was going to happen.”

“I’m-” you stopped yourself. “Thank you,” you said instead. “Thank you for saving.”

“I meant it,” Natasha said. “In that room, I said no matter where life takes you we will be by your side.” she ran her hand through your hair. “My firefly, you saved yourself. Time and time again, it has been you. We are here to show you how far you’ve come.” You smiled. It was a long and scary journey ahead of healing but you wanted to overcome everything you’ve been through. You weren’t a pawn but a queen and it was time to show the world who you are.

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Where do we go from here - Part 1

Summary: Two funerals. Two couples. A tragedy like no other. And one big secret.

A/N: Written for @fandom-free-bingo Here’s something different, I hope you enjoy it. Leave a comment, heart and reblog if you enjoyed the story.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, F! Reader x Rhodey, Tony Stark x Reader (eventually)

Warning: 18+ angst, minors DNI, death, infidelity, smoking, mentions of self-harm and suicide. Hurt comfort.

Word count: 2764

Square filled: We deserve much better than we’ve had

Free Fandom Bingo Masterlist

.

Empty.

That’s how you felt. Empty and utterly exhausted. Your eyes were dried and throat scratchy from all the crying, body aching with pain and mind a foggy haze. Forty eight hours it had been since you received the news of the car crash.

James Rhodes. Your husband. Dead.

Pepper Potts. Your best friend. Dead.

You received a call from the hospital while you were wrapping James’ birthday present. A birthday that never arrived. Instead a funeral did. Two consecutive ones. You hadn’t felt grief like this ever.

The service ended, you shook hands and hugged countless people, nodding along as they offered condolences, wanting nothing more than to head home, crash in your bed and never wake up. But you couldn’t. There was another funeral you had to attend, your best friend Pepper’s, you didn’t know if you could go through it all again.

But you had to.

A couple of moments later, you managed to slip away and found yourself sitting on a bench overlooking the graves. The day was actually sunny and bright, wildflowers littered along the gravestones as a gentle breeze blew. What a day for a funeral, you thought sadly.

Not long after you sat, you smelled cigarette smoke in the air before Tony Stark took a seat next to you. Tony was one of your closest family friends, well, he was your husband’s best friend. They practically grew up together, went to school, university and eventually ended up buying houses close to each other too. By way of default, when Pepper and him got married, it brought the four of you closer. She was your best friend and James was his.

It was perfect.

Your mind went back to the last dinner the four of you had at your place, it was only three days ago. Just a day before the accident.

“Here’s to celebrating milestones in friendships!”

James raised his whiskey glass, making you, Tony and Pepper follow suit before you clinked them together with warm smiles. You had cooked a nice dinner to celebrate a year of moving into this home you shared with your loving husband. It may as well have been just an excuse to get together with your friends, which happened too often.

“Thank you for dinner, Y/N. It was delicious. And the blueberry pie too! It is Tony’s favorite.” Pepper announced, making you smile at her husband who returned it, albeit reluctantly. There was something about the way he looked at you, it made you nervous, not in a bad way, per se. It was like he could stare into soul.

“It’s Y/N’s favorite as well.” James chimed in, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

While you cleaned up in the kitchen, Pepper coaxed James to let her take the new SUV out for a spin. She had been trying to persuade Tony to get the same model but apparently he wasn’t too keen on letting his Audi R8 go.

“You think I could sneak in an extra piece of pie?” Tony’s voice took you by surprise as he entered the kitchen.

“Oh! I thought you went along with James and Pep?”

“I mean it was either a piece of pie or Pepper yapping my ear off about how my R8 isn’t exactly ‘fit to be a family car’.” he shrugged, making you chuckle as you took out the remaining pie from the fridge and cut him another slice.

You were suddenly aware of your heartbeat as Tony leaned over to grab the plate from you, the close proximity unfamiliarly welcoming. His fingers grazed over yours ever so lightly, leaving their presence to linger.

What was even going on?

Tony was a good-looking man, there wasn’t a question. He had a handsome face with an impeccably maintained beard that only seemed to suit him best. And his eyes. A light brew of your favorite coffee, the brown doe eyes held as much kindness as they held self assurance. Deep down, you felt an attraction towards the man. It was harmless, wasn’t it?

Only time would tell.

“Y/N?” Tony’s fingers snapped you back to reality, making you realize he had asked you a question.

“Yeah?”

“You went into one of your zones again, didn’t you?” He smiled, taking a bite of the pie and letting out a moan of delight.

“Sorry. One of my zones?”

“Yeah. Your mind tends to wander off when the conversation isn’t interesting for you. I’ve observed.” He wasn’t wrong. The fact that he noticed and pointed it out made your cheeks flush.

“Sorry about that. It’s nothing really. I was just thinking about the time we first got together. I—I mean the four of us.”

“Right. It was a long time ago, wasn’t it?”

“It was at one of your famous parties. I walked in looking to have a good time, you and I had one too many whiskies and the next thing I know Pepper dragged you back to your house and James ended up dropping me home. And the rest is history.”

“The rest is history.” Tony repeated with a small chuckle as memories of that evening played out in his head.

“Sometimes I wonder if…um. Nevermind.” He shrugged, cutting his sentence short leaving you to frown.

“If what? Go on.”

You saw him take in a deep breath, release it slowly before facing you fully after he kept the plate away.

“I wonder if the whole opposites attract thing truly worked out for us. Or we just settled because it was obvious.”

Tony’s words stuck with you long after that night was over. As did the look he gave you. It had longing and hints of regret. Something that reflected in your eyes as well.

You must’ve been crying again because Tony reached out to wipe tears that had escaped, offering you a cigarette which you accepted, filling your lungs with smoke and closing your eyes.

“You know, I spent half of yesterday just staring at my bottle of sleeping pills, wondering if it would hurt less if I just took them.” you murmured, staring into the distance. The void inside your chest seemed perpetual and only growing, there was no relief, no end to this pain.

Tony remained silent, he probably had the same thoughts running through his mind. But you couldn’t tell. He slid closer, placing his arm over the backrest of the bench.

“I need to speak to you about the accident, Y/N. I found out some things that you have the right to know too.” his brown eyes bore into yours, letting you know the urgency in his voice.

“Tell me now.” Shaking his head, Tony stubbed his cigarette and got up.

“Tomorrow. Come home and we’ll talk.”

“But it’s Pepper’s funeral–”

“I couldn’t care less. Trust me. Tomorrow.”

You were taken aback, watching him walk towards his car before driving off while you sat on the bench, a mess of complex emotions.

.

Your right foot was bouncing against the sofa as you waited for Tony, his house felt oddly quiet and dark now that Pepper was no longer around. Safe to say your own home wasn’t exactly in the best condition either. You couldn’t remember the last time you cleaned, or had a proper meal.

He returned with a familiar looking overnight bag, some papers and a phone. As he laid them out in front of you, a pit began forming in your stomach. This couldn’t be what you were thinking it could be. It couldn’t.

“This is what they recovered from the accident. The bag was in the trunk, the phone was found a few feet away and this.”

He handed you the papers first, it looked like a confirmation of a hotel booking, a hotel located just on the outskirts of the town. It was booked under James Rhodes. Why would he check into a hotel when he was supposed to be out of town for a conference?

“I don’t understand..” you trailed off, not really wanting to know the details but Tony handed you the phone next. What you read, broke your heart into a million pieces. The doubts that you tried to push down resurfaced and had materialized right in front of your eyes.

They were chats. Chats between Pepper and James. Your husband and Tony’s wife.

Your eyes burned but no tears came, you felt betrayed, hurt and angry like you hadn’t ever. It was months and months of private conversations between them, you hadn’t even noticed Pepper’s name saved with a heart emoji on James’s phone, right below was your last message to him, checking up on him to see if he reached safely.

You turned to look at Tony who sat with his arms crossed, jaw ticking and hands balled up against his sides. He let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head before getting up to stand in front of the window that overlooked their huge backyard.

“Why didn’t–um, why didn’t the cops bring this to me?” you found your voice again but barely recognized it. It was hoarse from lack of use and weak, fearful of what you’d hear next.

“I asked them not to,” he replied quietly.

“Why?”

“Why? Seriously? You think you would’ve handled it well, Y/N? Given the things you said to me, I would be arranging for a third funeral right about now!” Tony didn’t mean to yell, but he did, because he shared your hurt and pain. He immediately regretted it watching you crumble on the floor, clutching the phone to your chest as you sobbed.

Dropping on his knees, he gathered you in his arms and let you cry, your tears soaked his shirt as you wept, body racking in pain while he held you. Your breath was still uneven but your tears eventually subsided, leaving behind a million questions.

“It had been going on for longer than a year, Y/N.” as if reading your mind, Tony mumbled, his voice muffled against your hair.

“I don’t want to believe it, Tony.”

He hugged you tighter, providing you the comfort you needed, wanted even, his presence grounded you, his scent calmed you.

“You’re staying here.” he declared once you separated, wiping tears from your cheeks and making you look up at him.

“I–I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. And you’re going to. You’re hurting, Y/N. We both are. I don’t think I could live with myself with you gone as well. I can’t.” Tony whispered, resting his forehead against yours, pleading you to stay.

He was right. You couldn’t bear the thought of returning to that house which you shared with James, your husband, also the man who had been cheating on you with your best friend for months. Given a choice, you would probably set it on fire to bury all the memories and destroy them. It wasn’t your happy home anymore.

“Will you stay?”

You nodded as he helped you back up, walking you up the stairs that led to the bedrooms.

“Wait, I can’t stay in the–”

“The guest bedroom is on your left. I’ve been sleeping there. I’ll take the other one. I can’t sleep in our bedroom either.” Tony’s lips were pressed in a thin line, fingers trembling before he hid them in his pockets.

Of course. It was hard for him too. You wondered if he had the same thoughts of burning the house down. You two were in the same boat, one that was drowning in a sea of sorrow, betrayal and tainted memories.

And now all you had was each other.

.

Moonlight streamed through the windows as you lay awake, staring at the ceiling for hours, sleep had evaded you. Checking the clock, it stated it was way past midnight, you turned to your side to attempt a small nap if your mind allowed; however a dull crash fell on your ears from downstairs, making you jump out of bed and scramble to the source.

It was Tony.

Eyes brimmed with tears, a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting atop the kitchen counter and shards of broken glass on the floor. As you stepped closer, you saw a broken picture frame as well, one that housed Tony and Pepper’s wedding day photo, both wide eyed and grinning ear to ear, now with a huge crack along the surface.

“Tony?” you treaded carefully, your voice barely over a whisper as you placed your hand on his shoulder.

His tense muscles relaxed under your touch, a sigh leaving his lips.

“She took a pregnancy test, Y/N.” he murmured so quietly you almost missed it. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you heard him. You knew Tony and Pep had been trying for a kid for a while now, Tony wanted a child more than anything.

“Oh my God.” You croaked, rubbing his back in attempts to comfort him as you saw his eyes brimming with unshed tears, your heart breaking for him.

“Now I can’t even know if it was mine. She was fucking pregnant!” He smashed the glass of whiskey on the opposite wall, the two of you watching the liquid stream down in little rivulets, joining the shattered glass.

Tony’s breaths were coming in erratic and shallow, his eyes unfocused, he was struggling to stand upright.

“Tony hey! Look at me, come on. Let’s get you over here.” You supported him until he was sitting on the barstool while you took a seat opposite him. Bringing your hands up to cup his face, you made him look into your eyes.

“Breathe for me, please. It’s okay.”

You sounded unsure but you hoped it was helping him, he was trying his level best to focus on your words but it was hard. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears, all other voices drowning as sweat lined on his forehead.

“Tony. Come on. I know you can do this. Focus. Just breathe.” You placed one of his hands on your chest, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, waiting for him to follow.

It took a few beats but eventually you succeeded in getting him back to normal. He squeezed your hand gratefully, nodding his head to let you know he was alright. You grabbed him a water before pouring yourself a glass of whiskey, neither of you bothering to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

You sat together in silence, pondering over what your lives had become in a span of a week. The alcohol definitely helped, numbed your pain and made you drowsy.

The sun was starting to rise outside, a dull, gray light filtering through the windows letting you know it was dawn. The word exhausted seemed to be synonymous with your daily routine, it was all you ever felt. You took your empty glass and were heading for the sink when Tony grabbed your wrist and stopped you.

“Where are you going?” The uncertainty in his eyes tugged at your heartstrings.

“Just to keep this. Tony, I’m right here.” You reassured the man who followed you into the kitchen, as if to make sure you wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden.

“Will you leave me?” He whispered shakily.

This wasn’t a side of Tony you had ever seen. You were used to the confident, sassy man who joked around and made you laugh.

“I can’t deal with the pain alone. Stay. Please. You’re all I have, Y/N.”

There wasn’t a muscle in your body that protested, not that you wanted to anyways. Laying his head against your chest, he hugged you, holding onto you with all his might.

“Okay, I’ll stay. I’ll stay as long as you need.”

“You will?”

He felt you nod as your fingers carded through his hair, calming his nerves and reassuring him of your presence. He didn’t know how long it would take for you both to recover, but as long as you were with him and he with you, he felt some semblance of hope. That eventually everything could be okay.

“Of course. You’re all I have too.”

[welcometogrouchland]

I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.

Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.

Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.

It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.

Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙

[peaches2217]

Toadsworth was originally steward to the Mushroom Queen, the current regent’s late mother. They were very close friends, often spending hours in deep conversation, always at one another’s sides (to the point that whispers of an illicit affair between the two weren’t entirely uncommon, though certainly untrue — he loved her just as dearly as the King did, yes, but in a completely different manner). When she became pregnant with the King’s child, she cheerfully asked Toadsworth if he would like to be its godfather. He accepted.

The title was meant to be more a nicety than anything, a declaration of the Queen’s love for her friend and desire for him to remain a part of her family. Neither anticipated he would have to take on said title’s responsibilities.

But the Queen fell into poor health, and in spite of every medical intervention known to man and Toad alike, it became clear as the months went by that she wouldn’t live to raise her child. Mercifully, she gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby girl, and then three weeks later she passed peacefully in her bed, her husband and her steward both by her side.

The King fell into grief so immense that it swallowed him whole, and he shut out the world and numbly threw himself into his duties as monarch to cope. And though he too grieved for his dearest friend, Toadsworth had every intention of honoring her wishes: he took in his godchild — Peach, the Queen had named her, because she looked a great deal like the fruit when she was born, plump and swaddled in pink — and he raised her in her parents’ place.

Three years after he lost the love of his life, pneumonia or something similar befell the King, and he put up no fight against it, dying no more familiar with his wife’s child than he had been the day she was born. But in raising Peach, Toadsworth found the healing his King had shunned; he processed his grief between late-night feedings and tired lullabies sung in scratchy voices, and soon the love he felt for her as the last living reminder of his best friend became far more: the love a father feels for his own.

To this day, Peach doesn’t know that Toadsworth is her godfather. He never told anyone, least of all her; when she asks for stories of the woman she never knew, he’ll happily tell her all except for that little tidbit. He’s merely her humble steward, serving her as he served her mother. But he’ll always consider himself her father in secret… and Peach, in turn, is all too happy to consider herself his daughter.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hello (＾▽＾) I would really like to read some good WWX focused fics! so please can you share any that you think are underappreciated?

when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations) Kindof a modern-au retelling, flavors of cyberpunk?? Like, reminds me a lot of William Gibson. But incredible story & gorgeous illustrations.

The Tiger has Destroyed his Cage by updatebug (G, 54k, WangXian, Shapeshifters, Fix-it fic, Animal Pelts, Tiger WWX, Found Family, adopted family, Yungmeng Siblings, Canon appropriate angst and violence, Gratuitous OCs)

The Best I Can by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 26k, LJY & WWX, wangxian, WWX talking to his donkey, Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Drama, Recovery, Coming of Age, Secret Identity Fail, Friendship, Rogue Cultivator LWJ, Road Trips, POV Multiple, Happy Ending)

Something Yet to Learn by Glitterbombshell (T, 16k, WangXian, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff)

Say More by lettered (E, 95k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, wwx struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, Compulsory Heterosexuality, wwx kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage, the open relationship is not wangxian, since people keep asking)

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2. I’m in the mood for some good omega!xian fics with LWJ being protective of him 😻

The early bird gets the worm, the early fox gets the bird. But the dragon wakes the earliest of them all by sekhmetpaws (E, 52k, WangXian, Foxxian, Dragonji, A/B/O Dynamics, Royalty, Prince LWJ, dragon LWJ, fox WWX, Arranged Marriage, but not really, Mistaken Identity, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ)

Coincidence is Another Man's Fate by TriviasFolly (M, 164k, wangxian, rape/non-con, modern, ABO, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Sexual Harassment, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, WangXian play the long game, UNTIL THEY DON'T, Getting Together, fated pairs, Eventual Attempted Sexual Assult and Recovery, Office au, Mpreg)

Disruptions 🔒 by mondengel (M, 3k, wangxian, ABO, Mating Cycles/In Heat)

kiss it better by azuresummer (E, 16k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominant LWJ, Submissive WWX, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Getting Together, Crossdressing, Virginity Kink, Size Kink, Size Difference, Light Bondage, Knotting, Creampie, Breeding Kink, wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Mating, Mating Bites, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ)

Instincts by Dixielis (M, 5k, wangxian, ABO, underage, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, WWX Whump, not YZY friendly, LWJ is So Whipped, First Time, Marriage, Nesting, Supportive LXC, Good Parent LQR, Soft wangxian, Implied/Referenced Abuse)

Insert Coin Now for Extra Life by TriviasFolly (E, 201k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Intersex Omegas, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Marriage contract au, Twitch Streamer WWX, fluff and smut, caring for other while sick, Possessive LWJ, Rare Male Omegas, Pack Dynamics, Sugar Baby vibes, Eventual Smut, Brief mention of lwj/others)

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3. do you know some stories where Wei Wuxian is either adopted before the Jiang found him, either is the object of a custody battle because a lot of sects see how badly he's treated by the lady jiang? (Not the Wen because except the siblings that we love, not a lot would give Wei Xuxian the love that he deserves and he would be even more used by the chief)

Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 39k, wangxian, BSSR/LY, Alternate Universe, a story full of tragic pining gays, and one chaotic gremlin, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR's disciple) WWX is adopted by BSSR

A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 70 k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX) WWX is adopted before the Jiang find him, but mind the tags as LWJ has time-travelled so is technically an adult

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 712k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The Lans push for a betrothal between WWX & LWJ after seeing WWX's talent with talismans & the betrothal negotiations are absolutely a custody battle

Different Sect Wei Wuxian AUs 🔒 series by Reverie (cl410) (M/T, 105k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, SL/XXC, Canon Divergence)

there is a comp for wwx being adopted by other

every world, every universe by glitteringmoonlight (T, 4k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX is in Tingshan He, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Fix-It of Sorts, Genius WWX)

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4. itmf some sssvs and mdzs crossovers. even though they were completely different from one another, i really enjoyed "if wishes were donkeys" and "death comes first" and i have read all the ones you linked on your mxtx crossover masterlist. i just think there is so much potential between the characters from both novels + if it could be wwx-centric i would prefer, wangxian too, obviously.

- @yillings

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5. Itmf fics where wwx initially rejects lwj, thinks he's too boring, etc... main thing is, lwj is in love with him initially, wwx isn't and cruel, slightly callous abt it etc. As time passes, lwj comes to accept this and stops trying, but then wwx starts falling for him and the tables- flip! Cue wwx realising his mistake and doing everything to make it right. Arranged marriage aus are natural fits for this, but not necessary. Would love lwj not taking wwx's advances seriously and being slightly oblivious abt it. If nsfw, bottom!lwj preferred. Thanks 😊 @jawla-mukhi

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6. Hiii! I'll make it quick and short. I'm in the mood for a fic where lwj is wwx's disciple(preferably not modern). Thanks! @dizzydandelionsandhyperhydrillas

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7. Hello Mod L/K/C (I hope I have that right!) Do you have any recs for just fluffy WangXian? Thanks in advance if possible @nebuluscharlie

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, wangxian, modern, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, When your individual communication issues complement each other, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love, Podfic Available)

Dazzle Like a Diamond by Tsukimiko_san (T, 4k, wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Crow WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, No Angst, ok maybe a tiny sprinkle of angst but like, usual LWJ thinking WWX is just teasing him, it doesn't last long, Getting Together, they are both so whipped, Boys Kissing, Courting Rituals)

Honesty is the Best Policy (But it Scares the Living Hell Out of Me) by Elpie (Horribibble) (T, 2k, wangxian, Soulmates, Truth, Fluff, Humor, Comfort No Hurt, Twin Jades of Lán Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels)

Wei Wuxian’s Home for Lost Creatures by Stratisphyre (G, 22k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, modern w magic, Fusion, Fluff, Single Dad LWJ, Near Drowning, injured animals, First Meetings, Falling In Love)

A Study in Fluff by WeaverOfTheNight (T, 29k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Everyone Lives AU, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, literal plot bunnies, Getting Together, A-Yuan is the best boy, POV Alternating)

i know who i want to take me home by ScarlettStorm (E, 16k, wangxian, modern, bartender WWX, drunk LWJ, caretaking, meet-cute, fluff, comedy, smut, minor angst, major shenanigans)

Love Cats series by so_shhy (T, 14k, wangxian, modern, Meet-Cute, Fluff, WWX is wet and adorable in a tree, With a Cat, LWJ had no chance, Don't Try This At Home, First Dates, Falling in Love)

Step right up! by failedcharismacheck (T, 7k, wangxian, Modern, High School, Teen Romance, Fluff, First Kiss, Getting Together, Awkward Flirting, new friends to boyfriends, LWJ plays animal crossing, Spanish Translation Available)

Bunny Tales series by sunnific (T, 7k, wangxian, modern, Meet-Cute, Rabbits, wangxian meet in a pet supply store, Fluff, Falling In Love, light humour, First Kiss)

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8. ITMF wwx being in an abusive relationship and someone notices. Preferably jiang Cheng or lan Wangji, but anyone else does too!

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9. Hi beautiful people 💜

I’m in a mood for some wangxian on the beach ‘cause where I live it’s already snow ❄️

Can be just wangxian or WX+ juniors or everyone, also can be any AU

Thank you for your work 💜💜💜 @shirikitsunenice

ocean swell by daltoneering (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, lifestyle kink, 24/7 D/s, dom lwj, Sub wwx, Holidays, Beach Sex, BDSM, Blowjobs, Prostate Milking, Brat WWX) wangxian are on a beach holiday

down by the water by astrolesbian (E, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Surfer LWJ, Surfer WWX, complicated family relationships, mention of drowning, but no actual drowning is described, fluff and smut and angst, Reconciliation) I love this fic to bits!

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10. Hello! 💓💓 For the next ITMF, do you know any fics A) where there's a connection between Wen and Lan? Like for example, Madam Lan being Wen, WRH and LQR pairing, or them having a child, and the like.

B) Modern setting without power, healthy relationship with everyone: no jiang bashing, no lan bashing, no bad parents etc.

10B)

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, wangxian, modern, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, When your individual communication issues complement each other, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love, Podfic Available) link in #7

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 30k, wangxian, modern, Former JZN/WWX, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, Family, Realizing Your Best Friend is the Love of Your Life, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, And LWJ is not having it, Sex as Self Worth Reaffirmation, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cute, Feel-good)

🧡 Faire thee well by Scrippio (T, 77k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, 3Zun, Modern AU, Renaissance Faire, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Slow Burn)

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11. Hello! 'I'm in the Mood For' character watch/react fanfics and can you guys recommend some that doesn't exclude Wei Ying? Like he is in there reacting too and not outside? Other than that, I don't mind! Thanks in advance :]

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)

The Characters of MDZS Watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by emma_screams (M, 153k, WIP, WangXian, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama, Characters watching their series)

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12. For itmf, does anyone have any recs for JGY-friendly time travel fic? It doesn't have to focus on him, just, something that doesn't make him an irredeemable villain before he even has a chance to do anything (because time travel). Thanks!

Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator (T, 74k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) Unfinished & possibly abandoned fic but a really interesting one. WWX travels back in time from right after his resurrection, with LXC's help -- and LXC requests that WWX fix things for JGY too. It's mostly focused on Lotus Pier but how WWX address the request and how WWX-JGY relationship develops is IMO one of the highlights of the fic

Shards of Hope by Dreaming_Days (T, 80k, JGY/LXC, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Redemption, Character Study, WIP) This one is jgy time travel, and it IS jgy centric. Highly recommend!

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13. Are there any fics where Hanguang jun feels guilty over not being there for wei Ying in his first life while he is married to wei Ying or other characters blaming him for it while he is married to wei Ying

Smoke and Mirrors by mrcformoso (T, 5k, wangxian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, WWX Has Chronic Pain, WWX Has Issues, WWX has Phantom Pain, WWX was Malnourished, Sad LWJ, POV WWX, WWX is always cold, Chronic Pain, Phantom pain, migraines, Malounirshment, Suicidal WWX, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, mirror therapy, Minor Original Character(s), Good Friend NHS, Protective LWJ, Regretful LWJ, Crying, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, WWX's body is normal but he still feels as if it isnt, Made up Nie Clan lore)

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14. Good day!!! Is there any fic where wwx turned his back on the cultivation world? like he doesnt give a fck about them, any similarities will do. Thank youuu!

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, canon divergence, time travel, rogue cultivator WWX, no golden core transfer, not cultivation world friendly, not JC friendly, OCs) WWX lets the cultivation world think he's dead after the fall of LP

Home isn’t Where the Heart is. by Hauntcats (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian) WWX nopes tf out after being resurrected

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15. Hello!! Any fanfic with assumed cheating? (No actual cheating happens, and wangxian doesn't break up)

The Guests of Cloud Recesses by cafecliche (T, 10k, wangxian, Post-Canon, brief horror imagery, Grief/Mourning, parsing out your trauma and also your in-laws: now with ghosts, Fluff, Light Angst, Case Fic, Podfic Available) How about one where someone else assumes LWJ is cheating on WWX b/c they don't recognize him in MXY's body?

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16. Hellooo! I’ve been reading a lot of modern au fanfics, that I can barely read anything else, but I can’t find any good long Moder AUs anymore. I really don’t care what it’s about, but happy ending and something like “A garden to call ours” or “How Wei Ying went from Oblivious to…” These kind of fanfics hold my heart. I don’t really care if it’s too short or long, just something with plot and fluff :))

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 30k, wangxian, modern, Former JZN/WWX, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, Family, Realizing Your Best Friend is the Love of Your Life, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, And LWJ is not having it, Sex as Self Worth Reaffirmation, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cute, Feel-good) link in #10B

In the Arms of an Angel by Wrenwolf (M, 120k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Time Travel, Soulmates, Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Exotic Dancer WWX, Exotic Dancer NHS, Time Traveler LWJ, Angst, Humour, Brotherly Bonds, Soulmates through many lives, Only Lan Zhan remembers, Past Life Regression, Explicit Sex, WY and NHS are Found Family, Eventual HEA, Bisexual WWX, Non-Binary NHS, Reincarnation, Transmigration) WIP updates are irregular but damn that's a good story

Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Tattoos, Small Town, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Sexual Humor, Bad Humor, Slapstick, Brotherly Love, explicit sex eventually, Two POVs, A touch of kink, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Found Family, Rabbit-babies) same author, complete work, literaly owns my heart

Say More by lettered (E, 95k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, wwx struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, Compulsory Heterosexuality, wwx kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage, the open relationship is not wangxian, since people keep asking)(link in #1) good long modern fanfic

Keep You Safe by airinshaw (E, 26k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Rule 63, Kissing Cunnilingus, sgwy, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Pregnancy)

Like a Game of Chess by countingcr0ws (T, 36k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern: No Powers, Strangers to Lovers, Travel, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Romance, Love Poems, Social Media, Sexual Humor, Banter, Red String of Fate, Footnotes)

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

together, we’re just enough by lulu_kitty (E, 134k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bartender LWJ, single dad wwx, Kid fic (sort of), Excessive Fluff, Yearning, barely there plot, neurodivergent wangxian, canonical parental issues, lwj in jewelry, accidental sugar gege wwx, fluff and eventual smut, Bottom LWJ, Service Top WWX, Bisexual WWX, Rich WWX, a-yuan is a wei but still also a wen, wwx is a-yuan’s biological baba, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Slow-ish burn, Light Dom/sub)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, So much trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

Once Upon a Place by zeldasayre (E, 80k, WangXian, House restoration, Falling In Love, Misunderstandings, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Bisexual WWX, Trans Male WWX, Gay LWJ, JYL & LWJ Friendship, Modern AU, Set somewhere in America, Tattoo Artist WWX, Librarian LWJ, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Domestic)

got your way with me by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 51k, wangxian, modern, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, in which brain cells are barely used, WWX is always the last to know, wangxian/others very briefly, otherwise it's OTP all the way, LWJ FUCKS)

Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Dance, Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!WWX, Violinist LWJ, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious WWX, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn)

you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) 🔒 by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15)

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17. Hello! Are there any fics where Wang Lingjiao is an actual person and not a cliché? She has one chapter in Meyari 's excellent Moments of Revelation, but that made me wonder about her more @chalinokat

Unfridging MDZS Women Bingo 2023 Chapter 2 by liverbiver9 (T, 13k, JGY/QS, Canon Divergence, YZY neutral/complicated, Sunshot Campaign, Found Family, hyperspecific worldbuilding, Rogue Cultivator WWX, WLJ Redemption, Genderqueer Character, Nonbinary Character, Xuánwǔ of Slaughter Cave, WC Being an Asshole, QS Deserves Better, QS Lives, Alternative forms of cultivation, Grief, Revenge) one of the chapters centers around wlj, and there are more recs in the comments of the fic!

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending) Not sure this counts as it's a small part of the fic & WLJ herself is barely in it, but WWX is accompanied by a ghost who is revealed to be WLJ's mother & gives hints at the character's backstory.

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[raplinesmoon]

hi everyone, i just wanted to come on here and make this post. like a lot of you, i’ve been deeply affected by what’s been going on in Gaza the past few weeks. It has quite literally altered my brain and the way i’ve been able to live my life day-to-day. even though i’m not Palestinian, i’ve grown up learning about the fight for Palestinian liberation. my real name (bless my parents), literally references the land of Palestine.

i know there’s a lot of grief in our hearts, watching genocide happen live on our screens in front of our very eyes. It’s heavy and it’s traumatic and the human body isn’t built to withstand this much grief and trauma without it fundamentally altering us. I’ve been struggling a lot with my grief recently, and how to make sense of it, and in doing so, i’ve tried to challenge myself that whenever i need a “break” from the news, or i just need to do something that makes me fundamentally human (like watching a movie, listening to music, making food), i’m going to try and engage with content from Palestinian creatives as a way to stay dialed in and to never stop speaking up. i thought i’d share some of what i’ve been engaging with in order to keep learning about Palestine and its people, and to make sure their voices are always heard.

disclaimer: this list is not meant to be comprehensive or exhaustive, as I still have a lot to look through, but feel free to reblog with your own additions!

Read:

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum - In Brooklyn, eighteen-year-old Deya is starting to meet with suitors. Though she doesn’t want to get married, her grandparents give her no choice. History is repeating itself: Deya’s mother, Isra, also had no choice when she left Palestine as a teenager to marry Adam. Though Deya was raised to believe her parents died in a car accident, a secret note from a mysterious, yet familiar-looking woman makes Deya question everything she was told about her past. As the narrative alternates between the lives of Deya and Isra, she begins to understand the dark, complex secrets behind her community.

The author just released a new novel, Evil Eye, which is also on my to-read list.

Against The Loveless World by Susan Abulhawa - As Nahr sits, locked away in solitary confinement, she spends her days reflecting on the dramatic events that landed her in prison in a country she barely knows. Born in Kuwait in the 70s to Palestinian refugees, she dreamed of falling in love with the perfect man, raising children, and possibly opening her own beauty salon. Instead, the man she thinks she loves jilts her after a brief marriage, her family teeters on the brink of poverty, she’s forced to prostitute herself, and the US invasion of Iraq makes her a refugee, as her parents had been. After trekking through another temporary home in Jordan, she lands in Palestine, where she finally makes a home, falls in love, and her destiny unfolds under Israeli occupation.

Susan Abulhawa is also the author of Mornings in Jenin, a fantastic novel that describes the Nakba (Catastrophe) of 1948, in which 750,000 Palestinians were expelled from their homes by the Occupation Forces, and The Blue Between Sky and Water, a story about four generations of a Palestinian family in a refugee camp in Gaza.

Salt Houses by Hala Aylan - On the eve of her daughter Alia’s wedding, Salma reads the girl’s future in a cup of coffee dregs. She sees an unsettled life for Alia and her children; she also sees travel, and luck. While she chooses to keep her predictions to herself that day, they will all soon come to pass when the family is uprooted in the wake of the Six-Day War of 1967.  Salma is forced to leave her home in Nablus; Alia’s brother gets pulled into a politically militarized world he can’t escape; and Alia and her gentle-spirited husband move to Kuwait City, where they reluctantly build a life with their three children. When Saddam Hussein invades Kuwait in 1990, Alia and her family once again lose their home, their land, and their story as they know it, scattering to Beirut, Paris, Boston, and beyond. Soon Alia’s children begin families of their own, once again navigating the burdens (and blessings) of assimilation in foreign cities.

The Beauty of Your Face by Sahar Mustahfah - Afaf Rahman, the daughter of Palestinian immigrants, is the principal of a Muslim school in the Chicago suburbs. One morning, a shooter—radicalized by the online alt-right—attacks the school. As Afaf listens to his terrifying progress, we are swept back through her memories, and into a profound and “moving” (Bustle) exploration of one woman’s life in a nation at odds with its ideals.

Light In Gaza (anthology) - Light in Gaza is a seminal, moving and wide-ranging anthology of Palestinian writers and artists. It constitutes a collective effort to organize and center Palestinian voices in the ongoing struggle. As political discourse shifts toward futurism as a means of reimagining a better way of living, beyond the violence and limitations of colonialism, Light in Gaza is an urgent and powerful intervention into an important political moment.

E-Book is available for free on Haymarket Books’ website!

The Butterfly’s Burden by Mahmoud Darwish - The Butterfly's Burden combines the complete text of Darwish's two most recent full-length volumes, linked by the stunning memoir-witness poem “A State of Siege.” Love poems, sonnets, journal-like distillations, and interlaced lyrics balance old literary traditions with new forms, highlighting loving reflections alongside bitter longing.

Orientalism by Edward Saïd - In this wide-ranging, intellectually vigorous study, Said traces the origins of "orientalism" to the centuries-long period during which Europe dominated the Middle and Near East and, from its position of power, defined "the orient" simply as "other than" the occident. This entrenched view continues to dominate western ideas and, because it does not allow the East to represent itself, prevents true understanding.

THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I’VE EVER READ

Watch:

Farha (2021) - After persuading her father to continue her education in the city, a Palestinian girl's dream is shattered by the harrowing developments of the Nakba.

Born In Gaza (2014) - The documentary follows the story of about ten children who tell what their daily life is like after the horror of the war on Gaza in the summer of 2014.

Omar (2013) - Arrested after the death of an Israeli soldier, a Palestinian baker agrees to work as an informant, but his true motives and alliances remain hidden.

Mo (2022) - Mo Najjar straddles the line between two cultures, three languages and a ton of foolishness as a Palestinian refugee constantly living one step away from asylum on the path to U.S. citizenship.

Listen: 

Saint Levant - born Marwan Abdelhamid, is a Palestinian/French/Algerian/Serbian artist based in California. He was born in Jerusalem during the second Intifada due to complications in the city where he would eventually spend his childhood years – the Gaza Strip.

Check out: From Gaza, With Love

Nehmasis - Nemahsis is the stage name of Nemah Hasan, a Palestinian Canadian pop singer from Toronto, Ontario

Check out: i wanna be your right hand

Zeyne - Zeyne is a Jordanian/Palestinian singer, songwriter and musician. A voice passed down from her grandmother down to her mother and then to her, 'songbird' zeyne seeks to create music that shares her truths and perspectives in the hopes of connecting with others worldwide.

Check out: Balak

Belly -Ahmad Balshe, known professionally as Belly, is a Palestinian-Canadian rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer. Born in Jenin, Balshe was raised in Ottawa.

Check out: Xion

Eat:

Mxriyum - Mariam is a Palestinian home cook behind the ever popular account TikTok and Instagram, Mxriyum. 

Heifa (fufuinthekitchen) - I’m a first-generation Palestinian American raised in NJ but now calls Chicago home. I am the founder, recipe developer, and food photographer behind Fufu’s Kitchen. And if you are wondering, Fufu is my nickname-it just stuck!

Hanan Saeed (palestinianfoodie)

Joudie Kalla - Joudie Kalla is a Palestinian-British chef and food writer. She is the author of two prizewinning cookbooks, Palestine on a Plate: Memories from My Mother’s Kitchen, and Baladi: A Celebration of Food from Land and Sea, and has featured in venues like The New York Times, The Guardian, and Al Jazeera

Shop:

Nominal - co-founded by Lena Sarsour, a Palestinian, Nominal creates Arabic-inspired jewelry. They are currently donating 100% of proceeds to Pious Projects, an on-the-ground aid organization working in Gaza, until October 31, 2023. 

PaliRoots - Founded in 2016, the PaliRoots mission is to bring awareness to the world about the Palestinian culture by crafting specialty products inspired by its people and identity. They work with Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA), to donate a meal to children in Gaza for every order.

West Bank Apparel - West Bank Apparel was established in 2014, guided by a singular mission: to offer our customers products that resonate with a sense of purpose and contribution to a greater cause. They work with Islamic Relief USA to donate a portion of each sale to various charities providing meals and aid in Palestine.

[everlastingdreams]

The Weeping Monk x Reader : Born In The Dawn Chapter 29

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Story Summary: Locked inside a dark room in a dungeon, kept alive only for your power, you believed you’d never see the daylight again. That is until the Weeping Monk finds his way down and steals you from your captors. It is the beginning of a journey that leads you through hardship and newfound hope, but nothing is assured in a world that is changing for the Fey. The magic that runs in your veins is drawing out the worst the world has to offer, does it include the man who pulled you from the dark?

Chapter Title: The Fallen Ones.

Notes: I kept revising this one :S It's time to let it free.

Warnings: Grief. Violence. Torture. Sexual Assault. Rape Threat. Gore. Enemies To Lovers. Pining. Trauma. Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Gore?. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc.

Other warnings: Jealousy. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn…

Word count of this fic: +200K

Chapter:  29/ It’s a secret.

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By the time you felt strong and awake enough to leave your room, it was past midday.

There was talk in the fort about what had transpired in the village the previous night, about Lancelot, and how the flames had not harmed him or the family he had saved.

So far, most of it was positive.

You found your mother as she was searching for Ciro and Squirrel, apparently the little ones had skipped the soup that had been served at midday in the dinning hall for all to enjoy.

She looked quite tired still, it was much harder for your parents to use their healing abilities than it was for you, and it took some more time for them to feel better again.

Mirena carried a warm tea in her hands like it was a source of life to her, it was a habit she had kept for years, there was nothing some tea could not fix for her.

You walked with her through the fort in search of the little rascals, the scent of the tea filled your nostrils.

She took a sip from her cup. “This morning I have told the children of what happened in the village, so they would not be confused by what is being talked about in the castle.”

“That is good.” You approved of it. “Do they know of what Lancelot did?”

She gave a nod. “They loved to hear all about that.”

Squirrel and Ciro must have nearly asked her ears off about it.

Mirena spoke so casually that she might as well have talked about the weather, “He is a handsome man, don’t you agree?”

“Huh?” You weren’t sure who she was speaking off.

“Lancelot.” She clarified.

There was no point denying it. “He is.”

“Those eyes.” She nudged your elbow with her own. “You must have noticed.”

Slowly you turned to look at her face, “Mother, should father be concerned?”

It was only a jest, because you sensed that she was trying to fish information out of you.

Mirena did not let it fool her. “Of course not.”

You wondered why she would bring this up now, “Why this sudden interest in the Ash Man then?”

With another sip of tea, she told you what was on her mind, “Little moon, I think you need to speak to him. The Ash Man is not the kind of man I thought he was, even when drunk.”

“How so?” It piqued your curiosity.

She recalled what happened that night during their short walk, “He kept apologizing when I walked him to his sleeping quarters on the night of the feast.”

You frowned. “For what?”

She named a few, “For everything, for drinking, for what he did to his people-”

It strangled your heart. “Oh…”

“For you.” She said, and asked about it, “Why did he apologize for you? Is there something he did wrong?”

How much had he told her?!? You had spared her of most of the details regarding your time in captivity. Was this about what he had tried to do that night?

You tried to ease her mind, “Nothing I haven’t forgiven him for.”

Apart from the attempt to kiss you…

She could tell that you were hiding something from her, your fidgeting hands warned her.

That night kept going through your mind over and over again.

“I think his conscience was just clawing at him. But, may I tell you something?” You asked.

“Of course.” She nodded encouragingly.

You tried to not give away that he had tried to kiss you, fearing how she would respond, “He was raised as a monk since childhood and lived strictly by the rules set in the scriptures of the Church, until he saved Squirrel and I. Now… sometimes it feels as if… uhm…”

It wasn’t easy to explain how it felt like he was growing more and more closer to you. Lines were blurring and bending.

Mirena saw you struggle and stated what she had observed, “He cares for you and Percival very much, like family would.”

You managed to nod timidly. “I trust him with my life, mother. I’ve never met anyone who could be so unselfishly caring. Sometimes I feel as if he effaces himself, to repent for the past. Last night was not the first time he stepped into danger for the sake of others. It frightens me.”

A pensive hum sounded from her. “Thankfully, he has someone who reminds him that his life is important too. Someone who cares.”

“I hope he believes me when I try to tell him this.” You feared he did not accept this truth.

She gave some wise advice, “Remind him of it often. Sometimes it takes a while before people are ready to believe others care for them too. If the former Weeping Monk can convince a Dawn Woman of this, you can convince him too.”

Ah yes, the Dawn Folk were not quick to trust at all.

You chuckled a little at it. “I really picked the hardest person to trust, didn’t I?”

She jested about it, “It does not surprise me, Little Moon. Nothing is ever simple with you.”

You scoffed amused. “Thank you, mother.”

She drank up the remainder of her tea as you walked through the entrance hall towards the courtyard together. “When you disappeared, the night the Brotherhood took you, your father and I thought you had ran off with the Ash Man.”

She was sheepishly admitting to what you had already thought had happened.

You shook your head, smiling at the absurdity. “Mother.”

“It was a possibility.” Mirena breached the matter on her mind. “He does appear quite charmed by you.”

You were quick to try and refute it, “He was a monk not long ago.”

She did not fall for the attempt to brush it away. “Do you think monks cannot feel love in their hearts? Those of the clergy vow not to act on it, it does not mean that they do not feel it.”

“I know that.” You meekly said. “But Lancelot and I are just friends, we have been by each other’s side through terrible things, that created a bond.”

She opened the door to the courtyard for you. “I am grateful the Ash Man was by your side when we could not be. Your father is too, even though he will not admit to it.”

It reminded you. “I never expected father to help him last night.”

“He’d rather help Lancelot, than watch you run into danger to do so yourself.” She was close to scolding you over it again.

You walked into the courtyard a bit faster before she could.

An arrow flew across the courtyard all of a sudden, shortly followed by excited voices. It had landed in a practicing target, a wooden pole with a sack of straw bound to it, at the other side of the courtyard.

Well, you had finally found Squirrel and Ciro. Lancelot was helping them learn archery, he tried at least. Squirrel was seemingly determined that his skill needed no adjustments, even if the Ash Man tried to give some useful hints. But Ciro was more accepting of the help, as he knelt to the boy’s height he showed him how and where to hold the bow and arrow best.

The second arrow that flew across the courtyard landed in the heart of the straw target, it was quickly followed by Squirrel’s arrow that landed in the head of it. Perhaps the boy was right to be proud of his skill at such a young age already.

Mirena watched them for a while, letting them have their moment of fun before she would scold them for letting their soup go cold. You bit your lip, knowing that your mother was waiting for the right moment to call upon Squirrel and Ciro.

Lancelot let Ciro try it on his own. “Nock.”

The arrow fell from Ciro’s hands, he quickly picked it up and tried to do as asked. Poor Ciro was shaking in his boots until Lancelot came to his side to help again.

“I can’t do it.” Ciro was beginning to panic.

He put a hand on the child’s back. “Perhaps not yet. But you will not know until you try.”

Squirrel went over to Ciro. “Go on, you can do it.”

With shaking hands, Ciro nocked the arrow and lifted the bow.

“Breathe, Ciro.” Lancelot told him.

Slowly but surely, your cousin’s hands steadied, little puffs of air formed in the cold air at his mouth. The arrow was released and landed in the side of the straw target.

It was good enough to have a positive reaction from Ciro. “I did it! I did it!”

Ciro accidentally knocked one of the edges of the bow against Squirrel.

“Oi!” Squirrel ducked to avoid a second collision.

“Sorry, Squirrel.” Ciro apologized quickly.

Squirrel looked at the target, than back to Ciro with a smile. “See! I told you you could do it!”

Ciro looked so relieved at the approval coming from his friend.

“Well done.” Lancelot praised. “Both of you have done very well.”

Your mother walked up to them, you followed a few steps behind.

“Well done, indeed.” She announced her presence and saw the children get a little nervous. “So this is what the two of you were doing while the soup went cold.”

Lancelot frowned in confusion, then realized they had ‘forgotten’ to mention this to him and send the two of them a stern look before apologizing to her. “Forgive me, Mirena. Had I known they were expected in the dining hall, I would have brought them there.”

She waved it away. “No apology is needed from you, Lancelot. It must have ‘slipped’ their minds.”

You bit your lip again, the children were looking at her like caught criminals.

“The soup is still waiting, boys.” Mirena send them a look. “Off to the dining hall with you it is.”

Ciro grabbed Squirrel by the sleeve and pulled him along, knowing that his aunt was giving them a second chance.

You stepped aside for them as they followed her inside, then walked over to Lancelot. “So, decided to teach them archery because teaching them the sword would potentially alarm others?

He could only affirm it. “I spend many of days on lecturing others how to use their weapons best. Old habits.”

You hummed, “I think you just love to show off your skill, and what better audience than children?”

He tried not to smile. “Or perhaps I just want them to learn a useful skill.”

You hummed again cheekily, it made the smile break through on his face.

“Are you feeling better?” He inquired, holding the bow loosely in his hand.

Physically you felt better, but you couldn’t pretend that you had not dreamt that he had not gotten out of that fire last night.

“Better.” You assured him.

He blinked and squinted his eyes just a little. “Yes?”

Well…

Quietly you confessed, “I dreamed that you didn’t walk out of the fire.”

“Oh…” He fell silent.

Your mother’s advice came to mind. “I’m really glad you did.”

He was quiet for a different reason now. His heart felt full after hearing this.

You turned at the sound of a group passing by, some of the knights were heading out it seemed. Matthew was among them and looked at you as he walked by, but dropped his attention to the grass soon. It wasn’t nice to feel uncomfortable about the situation, but it was all still so raw.

Lancelot noticed something was off, “What was said between you and the knight yesterday? I saw him beg.”

With a shrug of your shoulders, you told him, “I told him what I thought of his babbling behind my back. We aren’t on good terms right now.”

He gave a compassionate look. “I am sorry. I know it is hurting you.”

Knowing what you did now, had spared you from greater pain later. “At least I know the truth now. Before I could be persuaded to wed him, that would have been worse.”

His question came quick, “You thought of wedding him?”

You grimaced at the thought. “My father spoke of it to me yesterday, he said he wouldn’t mind a joining between Matthew and I. I was quick to throw that idea off the table.”

Lancelot let out a breath, the news staggered him, “A joining…”

“No joining.” You scoffed. “No nothing.”

His stunned reaction made you look at him questioningly.

“What?” You saw how downcast he appeared now. “Don’t worry Ash Man, I have no desire to be trapped again. Not in a dungeon, and certainly not in wedlock.”

All he managed was a nod.

To lead the conversation away from the awkward topic, you asked, “Have you read all of that page I gave you last night?”

He took a step away and touched your arm, asking you to walk with him for a while. “I have. Thank you for giving it to me, even if it meant ruining a book.”

You gently asked about it, “Do you remember your parents?”

“Only their names. Their faces have become a vague memory a long time ago.” He sounded pained. “I never knew they were considered royalty among the Fey. I was too young to remember.”

The names had been present on the page for you to read. King Ban, Queen Elaine and their son.

It wasn’t your intention to upset him. “Sorry, if I sound curious-”

“You trusted me with your family, I shall trust you with mine.” He locked eyes with you as he walked. “What is there you wish to know?”

You were a bit worried you’d still accidentally upset him, “Do you know what happened to them?”

He fidgeted with the bow a little, lost in thought.

“Are they…” You couldn’t get the rest of the question over your lips in fear of the answer.

Lancelot knew what you were trying to ask him. “I was told my father died in the war, and my mother of grief after they took me.”

A lump formed in your throat, how awful had the Church been to him… You honestly didn’t know what to say to that.

He noticed. “It was a long time ago.”

It was obvious he was trying to hide how it hurt him. “I can’t imagine that it does not hurt to know.”

He walked with you past the curtain wall of the fort, and fixed his eyes on the sea in the distance. “I do not like to think of how my mother must have felt. Her last thoughts of me, she must have know what would become of me after I was taken.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment, letting him have some time to collect himself, he needed it. It wasn’t until he pulled his attention away from the distance that you spoke again. “You became a man who she would be very proud of.”

He looked around himself, than stopped, and made you halt too by carefully taking hold of your lower arm. Your eyes were on him right away, watching him step closer.

His thumb drew slow circles on your sleeve. “If you believe it to be true, than I shall consider it so.”

You felt your heart beat in your throat all of a sudden and looked down to his hand, he saw but did not move it away. “I know it to be true. I see it all the time.”

It wrapped around your arm, like it was resisting the urge to pull you towards him. You could feel his gaze on your face, but the nervous feeling that settled in your stomach refused to let you meet it. All you could tell was that he often discreetly looked around him, like he did not want others around to see. That in itself was proof that he knew this line between you kept bending in ways that others would take notice off.

“Uhm…” You fished for something to say whilst keeping your eyes on a fallen leaf, “Is that the bow you always have on Goliath’s saddle?”

A short pause came before his answer. “It is. I was taking it back to the stables.”

You forced your feet to move a step to the side, it broke the hold on your arm immediately, only than did you look at him. “Then I’ll let you do that… I’ll go and see if my mother needs any help with the young ones.”

His eyes followed your every movement, “Alright… I will see you tonight?”

“Tonight.” You spoke fast.

It seemed to be amusing to him. “Good.”

You let him walk past and could have sworn he bumped into your arm with his on purpose now. Especially because he smirked back at you as he walked away.

Your whole being responded strongly to him, similar to what you had experienced before, yet different. Stronger. So much stronger and you did not want to let that feeling take hold again, not after it had caused you such pain.

No.

No.

This wasn’t good. It would pass. Surely it would pass…

~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~

That evening, as he returned from the stables, Lancelot searched the hallways for the Dawn Folk scent. He found it, but unfortunately it was not yours, only two similar ones. Mirena and Helio were conversing in the hallway. He had managed to stop before they’d notice his presence, a corner blocked him from their sights.

It was not his intention to eavesdrop, but he did overhear them. From the angle he was standing, he could also see them.

Mirena was reassuring Helio, “You are a good man, and a good father. I am sure she knows it.”

Helio did not sound like he believed it and spoke with a heavy heart, “When I saw her running to that fire… I had to reach her in time.” He hated to think back to that moment. “I do not want to lose her again.”

She explained your reason for that action, “She thought her friend was burning, my love. How would you have responded if it were you?”

He nodded shallowly. “I always tell her she is so much like you, but it is when I see myself in her that it frightens me.”

“That eagerness to run into danger to help others.” She tsked him. “She is much like you. You might as well argue with a mirror instead of her.”

A chuckle fell from him. “A mirror would not give me her wit.”

“No, it would not.” She smiled.

His wife’s smile brought on his own. “But you often do.”

Mirena hummed, letting him lean in and kiss her tenderly.

That was the moment he turned his eyes away for a second, watching this felt intrusive.

The love between them was clear to see, they left the hallway together. He did not continue his walk yet, he was lost in thought. One desire had managed to crawl under his skin once again. There was someone who he wished he could share the same affections with. It left him to come to his senses, and push the idea away before it could lead to what had happened on the night of the feast.

He resumed his walk and was about to cross paths with a Sky Folk woman when she deliberately stepped in his way. By reflex he stopped before he got too close to her.

Was she there to voice her dismay to his presence in the fort? He had not seen here there before. Black hair, brown eyes and a scar at the side of her neck. No, she did not look familiar.

With a small step he tried to see if she would let him pass.

She spoke to him in response, “I know what you did in the village.”

He looked at her expectantly until she spoke again.

The Sky Woman took a step closer. “The woman you saved is my sister. I am here to thank you for the incredible gallantry you have shown last night.”

Lancelot acknowledged the grateful response she had, “I hope she is well?”

She left little distance between herself and the Ash Man when she got closer again. “She is, and so are the children. Thanks to you. I wish I had something to repay you with.”

He sought no reward. “You owe me nothing. I am glad they are well.”

The young woman kept staring, seemingly intrigued by him. With a shallow nod, he hoped to bid her a good day.

What she said next took him off-guard. “I do wish to thank you. Perhaps some place where we can be alone?”

The last thing he expected was to be propositioned, and in the middle of a hallway. He could not hide how nervous it was making him and kept looking around himself while also keeping an eye on her.

He politely declined the offer. “I do not know you, madam.”

The woman saw that he showed little to no interest, and tried to awaken it. “My name is Emmeline. We can get to know each other, I would be pleased to make your acquaintance.”

From what he could tell, this young woman might have a small infatuation. It was not uncommon to find a person who had done something dangerous, attractive. But he preferred a deeper connection over a shallow one. And this woman did not know him at all.

“Lancelot.” He introduced himself formerly. “Apologies, madam, I seek not what you want.”

She dropped her gaze to the tile floor, looking a bit embarrassed. “I understand. I shall leave you be, sir.”

He felt compassion towards her, she seemed to be kind under that first impression.

Emmeline seemed to shrink under his eyes. “But may I thank you, in another way, for saving my family?”

After a second of thought, and knowing he could easily stop her if needed be, he gave a nod. Timidly she put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek, she was quick to step away. With a curtsy, she bid him a good day and left without saying another word.

Flattering, but unexpected. Usually people tended to avoid him. It appeared two knights who were passing by had seen it happen, one was even sending him a grin while the other was baffled.

What the Ash Man did not know was that they were not the only ones who had seen it…

~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~

You had been searching for Lancelot around the fort to ask if he’d sit with you at dinner.

You wished you hadn’t…

Had you known that you would see him be kissed by someone, who was quite beautiful, you wouldn’t have searched for him at all. Never before had you felt so physically ill so suddenly. Where did this strong response come from?

Was it the exhaustion from last night mixed with the response to what you had seen? At least you made it to your room and to an empty bucket, because you felt close to throwing up. On your knees you kept the bucket close, feeling the painful tensing in your stomach. Your body was shaking terribly, like it tried to fight it. Nothing came out, and the feeling remained. The last time you had felt like this was after Matthew’s rejection a long time ago, but not this gravely.

It was time to admit to yourself that you had fallen for the Ash Man, and wished you hadn’t. Now you had to go through all the suffering a second time. All of this, only because you had seen him receive affections from another.

You fought against the tears, refusing to let them win and show, telling yourself to calm down. For all you knew, it could have been innocent, just nothing…

“Please, let it be nothing…” The plea was aimed to the Hidden.

It was a selfish thing to ask, but could you not wish for something for yourself?

Squirrel found you dry-heaving whilst he walked by the room, like the Hidden had called him there to see it. It was embarrassing.

The boy was at your side a blink of an eye later. “Are you sick?”

“No… ugh…” The weight of a rock tumbled inside your stomach

Squirrel did not believe it one bit. He saw how you struggled, hunched over the bucket on your knees, and your arm around your stomach. Suddenly he ran off and left you there, then it hit you why that was.

“Squirrel, no, wait!” You shouted after him but he was too stubborn to return without the help he was after. To your dismay, that help came in the form of Lancelot rushing into the room followed by Squirrel.

“See, she’s sick!” Squirrel looked so worried over you, it made you only feel worse and guilty.

Great… you were a mess…

Lancelot knelt by your side, hand on your back, the panic clear in his voice, “What is wrong? Are you ill?”

You were prying his hands off of you, still feeling that awful tightening in your gut. “Leave me be. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

He said it to make you feel less embarrassed over it, “I grew up among paladins, I have seen far worse.” Then asked the boy, “Percival, fetch a cold damp cloth.”

Squirrel darted off to the washing table in your room to fetch one.

“Talk to me.” Lancelot’s concern was clear for all to see. But his presence was not helping you now.

You wouldn’t lie to him to avoid further questions, but asked for a delay to answer, “Not now. I’m sorry, not now. I’m not sick, I just need a moment to myself.”

Squirrel returned and handed the requested damp cloth to Lancelot. It did feel very nice to feel the cold cloth be placed on the back of your neck. Was the Hidden alerting him that this situation was caused by distress?

He hated to ask, because he did not wish to do so, “Shall we leave you?”

Hearing and seeing them so concerned… it made you feel guilty. But your fragile heart felt like breaking into pieces again, and it hurt.

You needed the nausea gone before you would be able to tell him what was wrong. “I will tell you, when I’ve had a moment to think.”

He hesitated for a couple of moments before finally rising to his feet and beckoning for the boy.

“Doesn’t she need a healer?” Squirrel pouted up at him.

Lancelot send you an inquiring look.

You shook your head. “I’ll be alright, Squirrel. I promise.”

Poor Squirrel wasn’t put at ease by it.

“Mirena will be waiting for you in the dinning hall, do not let your meal go cold again. Go on.” Lancelot nudged him against the shoulder.

Squirrel didn’t run out like he usually would, he walked out and looked at you one last time before leaving the room.

That heaviness in your stomach was slowly bettering, you dared to look up at the Ash Man whilst pushing the still empty bucket away from you.

He was reluctant to leave you on your own, “I will come find you after dinner. Shall I bring you some then?”

“I don’t feel like eating.” You declined the offer.

There he stood, near the door, feeling powerless to help you. He hated the feeling to his very core. What he hated most was seeing glimpses of sadness present in you, the reason of it still unknown to him.

“Go. Don’t let a meal go cold.” You mustered a small smile.

His boots almost dragged across the floorboards as he headed out of the room.

You still sat on your knees, and let yourself sit on your rear instead. Telling him felt like the wisest choice…

You had survived heartbreak before, would it not be better than prolonging the pain? What if he rejected you? What if he accepted?

Thinking of it was enough for the knot in your stomach to return and you decided to clear your head of it before you’d lose all courage to speak to him later.

~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~

Lancelot had lost his appetite after the Hidden had notified him of your distress, through them it was as if he had experienced some of what you must have felt.

No, he gravely disliked the feeling that had coursed through him. Some fresh cold air was what he craved to forget the feeling. Some time to clear his mind before he’d search you out to speak to you.

Unfortunately, it was not granted to him.

From a distance, he had already picked up that Sky Folk scent he hoped to avoid.

Matthew found him in the courtyard, and when he saw that no one else was around, he went over to the Ash Man, “I think we should have a word, don’t you?”

Lancelot could hear the venom in his tone. “If you find it necessary.”

“I do.” Matthew responded sharp. “I know you were the one who told y/n.”

He turned to face the knight, feeling the tense turn in the atmosphere. “If you had told her yourself, perhaps she would be more inclined to forgive you.”

The knight looked seconds away of hitting him, he had been in enough battles to recognize that sort of look.

Matthew let him know what was bothering him, “Do not act haughty to me, I know why you’ve done it! It’s much easier for you to have her all to yourself if there are no others vying for her!”

The furious knight sought to escalate this by shoving the Ash Man against the chest.

When Matthew tried to do it a second time, he knew he had to diffuse this before the situation could get messier than it already was. You would never forgive him if he’d damage one of those ‘honey eyes’.

With fast reflexes, Lancelot caught his arm and kicked the back of Matthew’s knee, sending the knight to the ground while blocking his arm behind his back. Matthew tried to get up but the Ash Man kept him to the ground, and prevented he’d use his other arm to free himself.

“I’ve done it, because she deserves to know the truth!” Lancelot snarled.

The fool did not see his mistake, “She didn’t need to know! You only upset her!”

“I did?!” He could not believe his ears. “Others know! Others who have no right to know! How long before it reached her ears? Do you have any inkling of how much you have hurt her?!”

The ruckus had drawn the attention of three other knights, when they threatened to come closer to interfere, it was Matthew who told them to stay back, “Stay out of it!”

The group looked at each other with uncertainty. He felt how Matthew stopped struggling against his firm hold.

“I never thought she would hate me…” Matthew confessed sorrowful. “I took it for granted.”

The love you once had for Matthew had not saved him from the consequences of his actions this time.

He released him and took a few paces away from him, “You did.”

Matthew didn’t get off his knees just yet, and looked at the Ash Man with mixed emotions. “The Weeping Monk has a better conscience than me…” He scoffed. “I understand why she put her trust in you, I don’t like it, but I understand.”

It was almost a nice thing for him to say, if it weren’t so bitterly said. The man was filled with self-pity, it would not help his cause if he let it remain as it was.

He really made an effort to advise him, “You have a conscience as well, I suggest you learn to listen to it from time to time.”

Matthew got up from the ground and waved the watchful knights away, “You believe she could one day forgive me then?”

There was still that attitude, but the question sounded like it had come from a genuine concern.

Lancelot kept at a safe distance from him. “She forgave me. I think she can forgive you too, in time.”

If he deserved it.

Matthew rolled his shoulder, feeling the strain that had been put on it, he did not appear as angry anymore. With a step back, he created more distance. “Speak not a word of this to her.”

Did he sound… embarrassed?

He managed to keep himself from letting the smirk appear, “I do not intent to trouble her with futilities.”

Matthew almost rolled his eyes at him, then he walked past the Ash Man in the direction those knights had gone, undoubtedly to ask the same of them.

So far this day was spared of bloodshed and violence, he prayed it would remain so.

~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~

The evening had come, and to reassure both Ciro and Squirrel that you were fine, you had went to their room to read some of that book with them again.

They were fascinated by the small bits of knowledge on the Fey clans that they had not been previously aware of. Squirrel began to show more enthusiasm towards reading and you helped him learn, he’d point out a letter and you would tell him what it sounded like.

Needless to say, some very strange sounding words came out of the boy’s mouth often.

Yet, Ciro never once laughed, he was just glad to finally have a friend that did not mind that he wasn’t the bravest around.

Moon Wings were their favorite subject, and you read most of it out loud to them on the matter.

Your fingertip followed the line you were reading in the book, “Moon Wings often posses druid magic, most of them can read the minds of others around them.”

“Wow.” Ciro exclaimed in awe.

“I’ve seen a Moon Wing!” Squirrel said, then went on to tell Ciro all about the young Moon Wing he had seen.

They were a rare kind indeed, it was a Moon Wing child that had survived a cleansing. And you didn’t have to guess how the child had survived…

Outside the window, the stars reminded you of the time. And you had heard some yawns in the past few minutes coming from the children.

“I believe it is time for bed.” You carefully closed the large book.

There were some protests, but they still crawled under the covers. You went around the room to tuck them into bed, which they seemed to appreciate.

“Y/n…” Squirrel caught your arm when you walked by, “I’m really glad you’re my friend. You’re really sweet.”

Was he sick? It was what you first thought upon hearing the compliments.

The initial shock passed and you bend down to kiss his forehead. “I love you too.”

“I didn’t say that.” He sank back in the pillow.

“I’m pretty sure I heard that, somewhere between the other words.” You smiled broadly and saw him do the same.

You repeated the action with Ciro, who promptly used his sleeve to wipe his forehead afterwards.

“Ew.” Ciro blurted out.

“And I love you too, dear cousin.” You snorted a laugh at his response.

Before you left, you blew out the candles and let the darkness of night into the room. To see them close their eyes and softly fall asleep, gave hope for a better world and future for the Fey, at least for them.

You rubbed the sleep from your tired eyes whilst walking through the hallway towards your room. At first you had thought Lancelot had forgotten how he had said he’d come to speak to you after dinner, but now you found him leaning against the wall beside your chamber’s door, he pushed himself off of it when he saw you approach. He was seconds away of questioning you on what happened today, you could feel it.

There was no avoiding it, so you faced the issue head on. “About earlier. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you worry. Sometimes I feel ill when things become too much for me, it’s just the way my body reacts.”

He was visibly relieved to hear that you were not truly ill, “Do you feel better now?”

It was sweet of him to ask. “I feel well.”

Before he could ask what had caused it, you asked him about what had been on your mind all evening and hoped it didn’t sound too nosy. “I saw you with a woman today. Who was she? I didn’t recognize her from living at the fort. Maybe she is new.”

It was already at the back of his mind.

“Ah. I believe her name was ‘Emmeline’, she is the sister of the woman I helped escape from the fire last night.” He said.

The sister of…

Oh…

“She came to thank you…” You finally understood what had happened.

Lancelot’s expression changed slightly, like he was puzzling something together in his mind. “Yes.” The question fell out of his thoughts, “What caused you to feel ill tonight?”

You struggled to make the decision for yourself to whether or not you would tell him the true reason, and if you were ready to do so. What if you made a fool of yourself by telling him?

He saw the reluctance to answer the question in your eyes.

He gestured to the door of your room, “Can we talk? Where we are not so prone to be disturbed?”

Oh no, did he suspect something? Was it obvious to him?

“Of course.” You walked past him to open the door. “Get in before someone sees and gets the wrong idea.”

He grinned and followed you into the room. To let your tired feet rest, you plopped down on your bed to sit. The doll at the foot of your bed had drawn his attention and he picked it up.

“And who is this?” The cheeky Ash Man smiled.

You squinted your eyes up at him. “It doesn’t have a name. My mother gave me that.”

He studied the way it was made for a moment. “Lovely.”

When he showed no signs of putting it down, you teased, “Are you here to play with my doll, or to talk to me?”

His mouth curved at the corner at the jest. With respect for your belongings, he placed the doll back at the foot of your bed, making sure it wouldn’t fall. That was rather thoughtful of him.

He still stood at the foot of the bed when he explained why he had wanted to talk someplace private, “I had hoped to speak to you about the night of the feast.”

“The one you can’t remember?” You were still a little bitter over it.

He was nervously tapping his index finger against the foot of the bed. “I have not been honest with you. I do recall what happened.”

You looked up at his face and saw the remorse in his eyes. “You lied to me…”

It was disappointing.

His bowed his head in shame, voice growing quieter, “By lying, I thought it would spare me from having to face the truth.”

“What truth?” You asked.

He came to your side and knelt down just next to your leg. “I saw you and Matthew together that night, I saw him seek your affection. I drank two tankards of ale..” He took a breath. “I made a mistake.”

“I…” Realization hit. “You saw that?”

His gaze dropped to the floorboards, as if he did not like the memory at all. “I know it is no excuse for my behavior.”

“You were jealous?” You needed to hear him say it, because it didn’t feel real or possible.

“I was.” It was difficult to admit, but he did.

Regret for his actions swarmed inside his head constantly. The foreign feeling had been all consuming that night. Jealousy, mixed with the fear he had for what he felt.

“Why?” Deep down you already knew the reason.

He opened his mouth to speak, the words he wished to say caught in his throat, “Forgive me.”

“Lancelot.” You waited until he looked at your eyes, “Tell me. Please?”

He rose from the ground to walk a few steps further into the room, his back to you. That annoying feeling in your stomach threatened to return at the sight of his reaction. Your legs felt unstable when you stood up and got closer to him.

He slowly turned, his eyes a thousand stars away and yet all present, his hands folded behind his back to hide how unsteady they were. “I fear you will shun me, if you hear what I wish to tell you.”

His hesitation was not because he wished to deceive you, the look in his eyes told of it. The look of a man fearing to lose it all, the same fear you recognized in yourself.

You took his hands in yours, seeking to connect with him. “I wish I could fight away all that troubled you… all I can pray for is that you will feel safe enough with me, to tell me what you wish to say.”

He turned his hands and claimed yours, holding on to them while brushing his thumbs over your knuckles in a soothing manner. Almost did you step back when he knelt down before you.

He submitted himself to you, placing his body and soul at your feet, for his heart was already in your hands.

His eyes lifted to yours, locking on your gaze through his lashes. He hesitated a few times before he began to speak, his voice was full of raw emotion and quite prayer, “Your gracious heart holds mine in it’s power. All I wish for, is yours in return.”

You were staring into the heavens that the gods had created in his eyes, feeling your breathing quicken.

His eyes remained on yours, ensuring himself that all was heard, “I have come to know you, to loveyou.” A pause. “Am I fooling myself into believing that you would let me into your heart?”

You watched him play absentmindedly with your fingers, while his intense gaze distracted you, “You are…”

The mistake dawned on you when seeing his eyes change. “Oh gods, wait no I… ugh,” You could slap yourself for it. “I didn’t mean you are ‘fooling yourself’, I meant that you are in my heart. Gods, I’m such an idiot.”

The nerves were getting the better of you.

He blinked a few times, like you had just turned water into wine. He went through two very different emotions in the span of seconds, highly preferring the one he felt now.

The stunned response just proved how unexpected it was for him that this was a mutual feeling.

You pulled a hand free and buried your face in it. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit overwhelmed. Because I’ve fallen in love with you and I didn’t know if you felt the same…”

He breathed in, the joy visible in his eyes. “You are forgiven.”

You felt safe enough with him to speak the truth of what had happened earlier, “When I saw that woman so close to you, I felt my heart shatter into pieces. I couldn’t stand the thought of another with you. Selfish, I know, and I’m sorry you had to see my reaction.”

It sounded like you had experienced the same distress that he had felt after seeing you with another.

His hand was gently squeezing yours. “Do not apologize. I did not react well to seeing you with another either.”

That was true. Your eyes flickered to the window, feeling the small smile begin to form on your lips.

He was warming your hands with his own. “You love me…”

The truth was finally out. “Quite a lot.”

There was a moment were nothing was said, the reality of the situation was setting in.

“What now?” He inquired in a rather timid manner. “If you wish to ignore it, I will understand.”

His past could not be erased. Matters were already sensitive at the fort. He would understand if you chose to not give in to what you felt. He just need you to hear the truth, just as he needed to hear it too.

You stole your hands from him and covered his own with them. “I don’t really know. But I cannot keep pretending that I am not attracted to you.”

It felt like such a risky thing to admit, and heat went to your cheeks. But he would have figured that out sooner or later anyway. Of course that smug oaf smirked at you for it. You send him a warning look in case he were thinking of teasing you about it. Slowly Lancelot rose to his feet, never breaking the connection your hands formed between you. He held them, using them to bring you a step closer to him. You stilled when he touched your cheek to caress it, his fingertips touched your chin and had a gentle hold on it while watching your response. He collected all his courage while slowly leaning in, aiming for your cheek, offering you the chance to pull away if you’d wish to.

The kiss to your cheek was nothing like the one you had once given him, it was far more intimate than you thought such an innocent kiss could ever be, his warm breath was felt near your ear when his lips lingered.

Tentatively he curled his hand around your shoulder. While leaning back again, his gaze fell on your lips. Seeing him take a deep breath forewarned you for what he desired to do. But the Ash Man was holding back, and you laced your fingers in his jerkin to slowly pull him closer, willing to meet his lips. Almost did your nose touch his, when suddenly he broke away.

You were so confused. “Wha-”

The knock on your door came a second later. Lancelot looked alarmed, having caught the Fey scent.

“It’s your father.”

Taglist:

@ourlazydetectivekitten​​ @the-great-adventures-of-me​ @linkpk88​​  @fxrchxldws​​  @elenaoftheturks​​ @slytherlight​​ @beananacake​​    @crystallizedtime​​  @moonlightaura03​​  @angrygardendeer​​  @have-aheart​​   @5am-cigarette​​ @arcanenature​​  @thewinterskywalker​​ @notyourwildestdream​​ @coloursforyourportrait​​ @koressecretidentity​​ @nike90​​ @n1ghtlux​​ @rachlovesactors​​ @luckyzipperscissorsbat​​ @morena-doing-stuff​​  @the-fangirl-diaries​​ @gipsydanger17​​ @heavenly1927​​  @phantasmalbeiing  @labyrinthonmymind  @asarcastic-thiamstan​​  @rainyv-skies @kissingandromeda @stclairesplace @​​katjusja @isla-bell-blog @beebeerockknot

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist of this story.

[allwaswell16]

One Direction fics that have an emotionally repressed character in them as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Louis/Harry—

✦ This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, superheroes) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe. //an X-Men AU.

✦ Love Is A Rebellious Bird by @gloriaandrews, @100percentsassy

(E, 134k, enemies to lovers au) Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine

✦ Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams / @cursethedaylight

(M, 131k, ex-fwb) When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

✦  I’ll Fly Away by @juliusschmidt​

(E, 122k, friends to lovers) Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road.

✦ The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by @kingsofeverything

(E, 109k, infidelity) Louis’ life is steady and calm, moored by his marriage, and tied to his hometown, but after a chance encounter with another man, it’ll never be the same.

✦ ghost of you by beckywritesthings / @beckydoesthings

(E, 109k, Star Wars) a Star Wars AU where Harry is Obi-Wan, Louis is Satine, and somehow there’s a love story between the cracks where there shouldn’t be.

✦ Promise in the Sky by Throwthemflowers

(E, 99k, religion) AU in which Harry Styles, a naïve, repressed, socially awkward Midwestern highschooler tries to navigate his fundamentalist evangelical parents and radically progressive older sister. 

✦ These High Walls by LarryAlways28

(E, 68k, a/b/o) He was the ideal son - until he presented as an Omega. Now, barely a year after his old man dropped dead and running the family company, if he makes a mistake with the Tomlinson and Sons merger and acquisition, it's game over.

✦ i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) by  thedeathchamber / @louehvolution

(E, 55k, secrets) Harry thinks he has good reasons for avoiding relationships. Meeting Louis puts those reasons to the test.

✦ That's What I'm Here For by @taggiecb

(E, 46k, farm au) Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him his children know just the man for the job.

✦ we should open up (before it's all too much) by @disgruntledkittenface

(M, 43k, vampire) Struggling with grieving and depression since his dad died, Harry has never felt so alone. It’s too much to cope with on his own, but he feels like a burden when he tries to open up with people.

✦ I Like You, Say It Back by ishiplouis / @pocketsunshineharry

(E, 43k, a/b/o) the one where it takes a lot of time for Harry and Louis to figure it out. But they do, they always do, don't they?

✦ Follow Your Arrow by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 36k, a/b/o) They said Louis playing alpha wouldn’t affect anything. It was the best thing for the band, so he doesn’t really regret it except deep in the dead of night, when he bites down on his knuckles to swap the echoing ache of depri for a sting of pain.

✦ Compass to my Soul by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 31k, a/b/o) Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.

✦ When the Sun Won't Let You Sleep by @allwaswell16

(E, 30k, Antarctica) Four years ago, Louis Tomlinson left the UK to live on an Antarctic research station for reasons best left in the past.

✦ You Might Want To Marry My Husband by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(NR, 24k, grief) When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.

✦  the sanctity of patience by @scrunchyharry

(T, 22k, royal au) When young Lord Harry was chosen by King Louis of Bavaria to become his husband and prince consort, Harry thought all of his dreams had come through.

✦ I hope our love burns brightly by fanshae

(T, 8k, magic) Louis Tomlinson can’t really remember ever not noticing Harry Styles. 

—Rare Pairs—

✦ I Had Rather (series) by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships

(E, 261k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Nick and Louis don't like each other, not even a little bit, not even at all.

✦ You're the Feeling I'm Missing by sheesusnat 

(T, 2k, Niall/Shawn Mendes) Something is off, though. Something is missing. Someone is missing.

[wangxianficrecs]

The Shadows of My Old Palaces, Falling Across the Moats by ChilianXianzi

The Shadows of My Old Palaces, Falling Across The Moats

by ChilianXianzi

T, 8k, Endgame Wangxian

Summary: Wen Qing would probably never know who their nameless cultivator used to be, or what kind of secret grief he hides beneath his bowed shoulders. But the man makes Wei Wuxian smile, in a way he doesn't anymore after Lan Wangji refused to stay for dinner and never visited again. And perhaps, surrounded by death and resentment as they are, perhaps that's enough. After wandering the realm for years in the wake of his wife's death, Qingheng-Jun came to the Burial Mounds - And stayed. Kay's comments: Qingheng-Jun/Wei Wuxian is not a pairing I would have ever read on my own, but since it was written by ChilianXianzi, I knew I had to give it a try and I wasn't disappointed! Nothing happens between them and the story is endgame Wangxian, but Qingheng-Jun certainly develops feelings for our Xiao-laozu. Really loved the idea of him just becoming a rogue cultivator after his wife's death and the Lan clan merely saying he's in seclusion because they have no idea where he is. In the end, it all works out too and he goes to scold his nephews and brother into making things right with Wei Wuxian and the Wens. Mostly The Untamed canon! Excerpt: "Aiyah, Daozhang, you're so good at this," Wei Wuxian sighs, "Are you sure you were a rogue cultivator and not some prodigious farmer, huh?" "My-" Daozhang Zhou's voice falters for the briefest moment, and Wen Qing holds herself against looking up from tending to her own herbs, ears pricking, "Someone very dear to me was fond of growing things, and I suppose I learned some things, watching her." "She used to plant all sorts of things, made them grow so beautifully," Daozhang Zhou continues, his voice now quiet and musing, as if he's not talking to Wei Wuxian anymore, "But she loved gentians, covered her garden with it, and gave me the dried blossoms to keep." Even Wei Wuxian has turned quiet beside the Daozhang, a heartbreaking understanding in his grey eyes. Wen Qing had always wondered what their nameless Daozhang had lost, what ghosts he carries around his shoulders so heavily - But now that she's seen the outline of it forms, it just makes her feel a too-familiar bereftness. A kindred grief. Wen Qing stands quietly, and leaves the two to their shared grief and potatoes.

pov wen qing, canon divergence, burial mounds settlement days, qingheng-jun/wei wuxian, endgame wangxian, qingheng-jun lives, golden core reveal, age difference, immortal qingheng-jun, fix-it of sorts, the untamed compliant, everybody lives, wei wuxian lives, jin zixuan lives, hurt wei wuxian, wen wemnants live, burial mounds ensemble as family, one-sided attraction, unrequited love

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[phntmeii]

♡ Dating Margaery Tyrell Headcanons

❝ ...a lovely young girl with doe's eyes and a cascade of soft brown hair.❝ 

[ SFW + Fem Terms Used]

Pairing: Margaery Tyrell x Fem!Snow!Reader

A/N: I miss her to a concerning level. She really was a queen in every aspect and I personally need her so bad.

🌷 You’d been one of the famed Stark bastards. Twin to Jon Snow. Growing up was odd. You were raised beside the Stark family yet felt like an outsider. Some family were kind enough: Ned, Arya, Robb. But some were more critical like Catelyn and Sansa.

🌷 You were made to be a proper lady although you’d never live the life of one. When Ned had to go to King’s Landing, you went as well. After all, Catelyn would dislike seeing lingering around still.

🌷 And so you endured King’s Landing beside Sansa as one of her ladies-in-waitings. Even in her grief where she would scream at you, you were always there still. She was your sister even if you were a bastard.

🌷 And then came the Tyrells to save the Battle of Blackwater. You watched along with Sansa as Margaery presented herself to Joffrey, wanting to be his new queen. You couldn’t even pay attention to the weight of her words when she glanced over at you by the rafters above and your heart stopped.

🌷 Margaery was beautiful and she knew it as well as anyone. She was the definition of a lady and you swore you seemed more like a desperate man in love the way your eyes followed after Margaery in the hall.

🌷 And the worst part was how she met your eyes and kept the gaze while she left.

🌷 Margaery was no Varys or Littlefinger, having spies all across the land to tell her information but your eyes were evident in what they said.

🌷 Love was always apparent in someone’s eyes.

🌷 Margaery’s personality molds into whoever she needs it to be for a specific situation or toward a specific person. And she’d use this ability to her advantage.

🌷 You didn’t know when it started that Margaery would find a way to sneak into your chambers. She had a coy smile as she came up from behind to purposefully frighten you before kissing you.

🌷 Her playfulness was something that made you fall harder. She seemed to always be smiling. Always laughing. She was perfect and yet so simply elegant.

🌷 You two had to be secret for a number of reasons.

🌷 Firstly, Joffrey was her betrothed and he certainly wouldn’t hesitate to put you both down for finding out what you had done with Margaery.

🌷 If Joffrey didn’t, the church would certainly love to. They’d spin the story of the dishonest Stark bastard who seduced the lovely rose of Highgarden.

🌷 And, lastly, you were a bastard. Period. There was no world where you could be with her if it wasn’t in secret.

🌷 But you couldn’t pull yourself away from her. Whenever you worried of the consequences, Margaery was coiled around you, whispering your worries away.

🌷 “My love… There is nothing to fear. This is our secret. One we’ll keep for a lifetime if need be. When I’m queen, I will make sure no harm ever comes to you. I promise you.”

🌷 And Margaery knew how to play her cards right. If Joffrey questioned why she spent time with you at all, she always held a reason for it. Stroke his ego just enough to keep you beside her.

🌷 Her family were not idiots either. They were perhaps the only ones to notice how Margaery looked at you. It was dangerous for her plan of being queen if found out but, with that boy wrapped around her finger, who’d believe such a rumor?

🌷 Margaery enjoyed listening to you talk more than she liked to. Learning everything she could about you, interests, hobbies, and life story—She was fascinated by all of it.

🌷 Surrounded by flowers and flower imagery constantly from birth made Margaery’s head ache in truth but being in love with you made her want to give you flowers. And her flowers were not random picks.

🌷 Margaery would leave you a bouquet with a note in black ink or red ink. Black ink meant the bouquet were of healing herbs. Red ink meant the bouquet were of poisonous flowers.

🌷 Just like her, they were gorgeous on the outside but devious in use. Whatever kept her secret beloved safe.

🌷Margaery’s main Love Languages to give are: Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

🌷 Margaery knows the power that she holds in court and is no stranger to using it to her advantage or wants.

🌷 She appointed guards to protect you and Sansa to make sure of your safety. It was ever important to her.

🌷 She was the one to allow more of your freedom to roam about rather than be trapped solely in your chambers that felt more like a prison cell.

🌷 Margaery enjoyed sending off lemon cakes to your chambers as a little gift while you were out so you'd come back with them ready for you.

🌷 Margaery's favorite Love Languages to receive are: Physical Touch and Quality Time.

🌷 While Margaery has accustomed to playing herself up with a mask, she can't help but swoon when it comes to physical touch.

🌷 Alone in your chambers at night, she's dying to be kissed and held by you. It's as though you were a safety where she could just melt completely in your arms.

🌷 Anytime she gets time with you, she's overjoyed. It's so much more comforting than to be around the Lannisters in a game of lies.

🌷 One of her favorites is to just listen to you talk about your hobbies and your life in Winterfell.

⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune

[nerdy-flower]

I have a lot of thoughts about Joseph Sisko’s second wife. She lived a whole life before ending up in the repository of dead fictional moms.

I think she met Joseph at the restaurant, and paid more attention to six month old Ben in his high than she did her actual date. Fell in love with both of them hard enough to keep a secret until she died. To forget the secret existed most of the time, because she got Ben dressed for school and soothed his tears and told him to put all of his laundry in the hamper or it isn’t getting cleaned just like his real mother would have.

I think she was a professor of 20th century Earth history and showed Ben how to hold the past in his palm, loosely but never too loosely. I think he danced on her feet in the kitchen to old Motown songs, her singing along and toddler Judith doing that step-step-turn dance all babies do.

I think living in the shadow of unspoken grief couldn’t have been easy, to be the second love of a man who had lost a spouse in such an obscure way. A gap in understanding never filled.

I think she looked like Q. Smith as Hannah in ‘Come From Away,’ purple sweater and all. I think little Ben napped best in her arms if he couldn’t sleep stretched across his father’s lap. I think Rebecca, the name she was given in beta canon, suited her well.

I think she loved her son’s nurturing side, watching him gently cradle one, two, three siblings in turn. And I think she took responsibility for his mischievous side, indulging his rascal behaviour and recognizing the gleaming edge of his smile before anyone else caught on.

I think she was unsurprised when Ben beamed home every night his first week of Starfleet Academy, knowing his life would always be a tension between unselfish ambition and deep love for his family. I think she never saw anyone as happy as Joseph the day Ben and Jennifer called to tell them they would be grandparents.

I wonder if she lived long enough to watch the man she called son lose his wife and crack his faith. I wonder how her other children felt when yet another family member slipped into somewhere beyond their reach, when they couldn’t call their mother and say “You’ll never guess what he did now.” I wonder what stories they told Julian about her when Ben finally brought him home to New Orleans to meet the family.

[ashesandhackles]

@hprecfest Day 10, 11 and 12

Posting three days worth of recs cos real life got in the way of posting it on their said days :P enjoy!

Day 10 - A fest fic

Nymphadora by @bluethepineapple

Written for the @womenofthehouseofblack , this fic is dark fairytale about families - families you are part of, families you have left behind and the complicated love that runs through both. The implied parallel in conversation between Andromeda and Tonks to Andromeda and Bellatrix is particularly haunting.

Summary:

Nymphadora (Greek) n. "The gifts of the Nymphs"

Andromeda could only watch as her daughter set off to war.

The Rougarou by @evesaintyves

Wolfstar.

I am big champion of reading everything written by Eve, but this fic is my favourite from her! This fic is steeped in grief and death post First War, and even as Remus tries his best to hide away from it all, New Orleans haunts him. It's a beautiful piece and I keep rereading it time and again.

Summary:

After the end of the first war, Remus goes to New Orleans to forget.

Day 11 - A dark fic

Three Knocks Upon the Door by @lunapwrites

Lily/Tonks.

This fic! Such effective imagery and contextaulisation for the quotes we know from canon. The Lily in this story has a hypnotic quality to her, and you can't help be drawn in - like Tonks.

Summary:

Knocking on wood three times is said to bring good fortune; but three knocks on your window or door without a clear cause is an omen of death.

In this case, it's a little of both.

(In which Tonks gets suspended from field duty, and takes matters into her own hands.)

First and Last and Always by Vermoulian

Sirius Black/Severus Snape.

The Snirius discord server is in love with this fic - and I can see why. It is beautifully written and makes you sit viscerally in Snape's headspace, to the point that sometimes you are discomfited.

Summary:

Black had been nearly skeletal when he came out of Azkaban, but he’d put on muscle again.

He prowled, and he loomed, and whatever earthy animal quality he’d had as a younger man had transmuted into something feral and predatory, during his twelve years of imprisonment.

Severus had his wand. He swallowed hard. His wand. Magic. His only defense, because Black outweighed him by at least three stone. But magic was more than enough. Severus had never needed physical prowess. His magical strength, and the keenness of his mind, gave him the advantage.

Except when it didn’t.

Day 12 - A WIP you are following

Beasts by @whinlatter

Ginny Weasley coming of age fic? Ginny Weasley fic that addresses all the canon gaps of Hinny relationship in a layered way? Sign me up! I have always liked Ginny, but beyond wondering about how Chamber of Secrets affected her - I never cared for her. Whinlatter makes you care about her interior life, makes you see that post war Hinny isn't going to be as easy as breathing. Basically, it's love.

Summary:

Ginny Weasley comes of age among them: the beasts, the wild things of their world.

(or: how the youngest Weasley won the Hanging Out With Hagrid Award).

Canon compliant, multi-chapter, non-linear narrative, Golden Gen, PS through post-DH (1981-1999). Harry/Ginny.

The War of Roses by @saintsenara

Sirius Black/Severus Snape.

A canon divergent Snirius fic from asenora? I slammed the subscribe button even before reading it - but having read the first chapter, I greatly enjoy the emphasis on what Azkaban has done to Sirius and I cannot wait to see where she takes this.

Summary:

Sirius Black does not die. But this does not mean that it is easy for him to live.

Or: a butterfly flaps its wings and Sirius does not go to the Department of Mysteries. What follows from that twist of fate is a story about the long, destructive shadow of a schoolboy rivalry; a story about surviving, and how surviving is sometimes more difficult than dying; a story about the fragility of beauty, the gentleness of hope, and the value of choice.

It is also a love story.

Scylla and Charybdis by @saintsenara

Severus Snape/Lord Voldemort.

I love the way Asenora writes Snape - his insecurity, his attraction to power, danger and darkness. I love how the narrative has cuts from his older self reflections, and I am really curious to see where she will take this. It also has Snirius crumbs so large that we could make a sandwich.

Summary:

Severus Snape just wants somewhere to belong.

This will turn out to be a curse.