#all the you're too young to be disabled is getting to my head

[sharkboywrites]

Hello! May I ask for the BG3 gang with an autistic gn Tav who is. Very Very Large but also quite young (think like... Older teen.) who just decides that Astarion/Wyll/Halsin/Gale etc is their new favourite person and WILL NOT leave them alone.

It would be very funny if they just... didn't realise Tav was actually A Kid™ and thought they were just a weirdly clingy grownup. Except Halsin. Halsin would know Immediately.

Inspired by my dumb ass being enormous and this having happened to me irl many times.

Bg3 Characters With a Young Older Looking Autistic Tav

A/n: This idea is so silly I love it. This is obviously written as platonic because reader is younger and baulder's gate characters are older and I don't write weird stuff like that lol although I'm sure that's expected. Also also i did all of them together because I do not have the energy to write sperate headcannons for each of them, dont worry they all get their moment

Gn Reader, Child/teen Reader

This was an... interesting situation

Everyone on the team assumed you were just assumed you were a bit childish for an adult

I mean could you blame them? You were massive, anyone would assume you were an adult

Except for Halsin

He could easily tell your age, but it's something he kept between the two of you, mainly for safety

Halsin takes more of a dad approach if you cling to him

He's very protective of you and teaches you new skills

He also keeps anyone else on the team from hitting on you, for obvious reasons, but wouldn't say why

He's also the most attentive when it comes to your autism, he's always keeping an eye out for you and helping when he can

It took the others longer to find, though

Wyll was the second to put two and two together

Once he realized, he grilled you about why you didn't tell anyone about it

He isn't too harsh though, and takes a more "fun uncle" role

He always makes sure to entertain you, he's the guy who's got fidgets on him just for you incase you need them

He also decides not to tell anyone for your safety after consulting with Halsin, but he does wish you said something sooner

Gale is the second to last to find out, after trying to teach you something about magic

He had questioned why you didn't know any of this, it was supposed to be common knowledge for someone your age

Or someone he thought was your age

He just stared at you blankly for a good minute after you told him how old you actually were

He's more upset at himself for not noticing to be honest

He realizes how that actually makes a lot of sense

Gale, like Halsin, also takes a more fatherly approach

he teaches you things you may have not known before, and is one of the most helpful when it comes to working through your autism

He's a knowledgeable man and can tell what you need, probably before you do

He's very protective, often insisting that you stay out of battles, but it's not like you listen to him in that department

For comedy's sake, Astarion is the last to find out, and he is pissed

He's mad that no one told him, even if it wasn't too long Gale found out and most of the party knew

He looked so dumbfounded when he found out and like Gale, was more mad that he didn't realize sooner

He's upset, but he gets over it quickly after a day or two of snarky comments and like Wyll, takes on a cool uncle postion

The whole party suddenly wants to protect you and it's suddenly become one of their top goals to return you to your parent/guardian if you have one, next to y'know, getting the worms out of your head

If you don't have somewhere to go they may or may not argue on who takes you once it's all over

Generally, you're taken good care of from then on, much better than you were before

Everyone's very attentive to you and tries to be aware of what you may need at any given point

Since they all have some type of trauma, they want to make sure the same doesn't happen to you, especially so young

Being in this situation is stressful for anyone, let alone a child, and a child with a disability

They do their best to make you happy and keep you safe

They may struggle, but they do their best, and now you have people to call family

[charlottecutepie]

☥ Bunny meat (William Afton x fem!reader x Michael Afton)

Summary: He was a likeable middle-aged man who had wonderful children, his dream job and a beautiful wife. He never blamed himself for his own actions, or to be more exact, he never thought about their consequences.

author note: Ive been thinking for a very long time whether I should publish this fic here. this is my fav fic I wrote for fnaf, I especially like the way I portrayed William here. so please, if any of you would like to see this story here, can you leave a comment? It’ll help me to understand. I’m just unsure if I should post this fic here :’’)

tags: darkfic, unhealthy relationship, angst, smut with plot, p in v, dubcon, oral sex, rough and gentle sex, daddy kink, blood play, knife play, fear play, hurt/comfort, violence, gore/murders, child abuse, follows fnaf lore, moral and physical abuse, virginity kink, anxiety disorder, age gap, daddy issues, unreliable narrator, hallucinations, hidden pairing, William is sick, psychopathy, unhealthy narcissism

Chapter 2.

Chapter 1. Thoughts

Chilly spring night. Light wind and rain. It's so fresh outside that the opposite effect appears: you feel as if you are suffocating from excess air. Outside is your favourite smell of wet grass after the rain. Light smile appears on your lips, and you carelessly go out on the porch of your house, looking at the beautiful view in front of you.

At such moments, everything around seems to be a part of you, you feel some kind of connection with nature and this world. Peace, tranquility, two things what you lack in life.

Today was a bad day. Maybe tomorrow will be better? Tomorrow will be the same. And when will it be better? Does this hell have an end?

Your head is filled with bad thoughts. It feels like every day is getting a little worse than the previous one. You never understood why you deserved such treatment from your father. It was as if he was doing everything so that you wouldn't feel like his daughter. He never even called you that. Something bad happened in your family every day, mom and dad always argued, and you always ran into your room in a state of panic, anxiety. What if father does something to her? That's what happened a few years ago. When you called your aunt in tears, begging her to come, because your father broke your mom's leg and beat her to a concussion. You could have been next if your aunt hadn't arrived on time. That evening, the picture of father changed dramatically in your little child's head.

“Father” means something cold, something cruel. The one who can punch, beat, shout, scream. Abuse.

You live with this thought to this day, but the only thing that has changed is that now there is no father anymore. He died a month ago, which was a shock to your whole little family. You hardly remember what happened exactly on the day of his death, but you clearly memorised your mother who cried all night because she knew well that the only one who could work to feed the family was her husband.

And now, because of this husband she cannot find a well-paid job, because he took care to provide her with a serious disability. And you're too young to work, first you must finish school and university.

Your skin was covered with goosebumps, you went back into the house. Passing by mom's room, you made sure that she was asleep and went to your own one.

Tomorrow is another day.

…

June 22.

“Y/n, breakfast is ready.” you heard mom's voice from the kitchen. Telling her you'd be coming soon, you headed to the bathroom to comb your hair and wash your face.

On the dining table you saw a plate with your favorite breakfast. Pancakes with honey, it couldn't not make you happy. You smiled and sat down opposite your mom. Woman was in a joyful mood.

“Good morning, dear, how did you sleep?” she asked gently, examining your face expression. That's how your conversation started, about everything and nothing at once. She told something about her plans for today, for a week, about her friends, about how one of them gave birth again. You just enjoyed her monologue, sometimes nodding and shaking your head. It was nice for you to see a sparkle in mom's eyes, it was something strange and unique for you, but warming soul. “I absolutely forgot that soon is your birthday!”

“Oh, really? If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have remembered…” you answered in confusion, fidgeting in your chair and twitching your leg. For some reason, the mention of your birthday made you uncomfortable. Probably because it will be your first birthday without your father. After all, when he was alive, you never really celebrated it. The maximum that was — sweets that your mother gave you in secret from him. You wonder what will happen this time?

“How are we going to celebrate?” Mom asked, smile on her face.

You looked at the floor, nervously fiddling with your shorts. You scratched your head, trying to think of something, but no idea came to mind. Your thoughts are empty again.

“It's your 18th birthday… We need to celebrate it well somehow.” for a second she paused, before looking at you with cheerful face. “Oh… Mr. Afton!”

Your eyes widened in surprise, because after the funeral, your family stopped communicating with Afton family.

“Mom, what are you up to?” you frowned. To be honest, you always got shivers running down your spine from his name, because your last meeting was at that cemetery, on the day of your father's funeral. Memories have entered your mind, forcing you to remember your last dialogue with Mr. Afton.

After the burial itself happened, you ran away from the crowd away. Your heart was racing like crazy, trying to jump out of your chest. You sat down on a wet bench, covering your face in hysterics. Tears streamed down your cheeks, dripping onto a puddle under the bench.

“Young lady,” a low-pitched male voice called you out of hysteria. “Everything is okay? You've been sitting here for hour.”

You opened your eyes and raised your head. Next to you was standing was a tall, middle-aged man with dark brown hair, dressed in black trousers and a jacket. He leaned towards you, holding an umbrella over your head. His face seemed painfully familiar, but because of the hysteria, you couldn't remember who it was.

“Oh god, Y/n? I didn't recognize you, little one. Why are you sitting here all alone?” he smiled broadly as he sat down next to you on the bench, still holding the umbrella for you. “Your mom is looking for you, she's so worried. Her beloved girl is lost.”

You recognised this man. It was none other than William Afton. One of your father's friends, he often came to visit you, and your family also visited him. You were embarrassed by ignoring his questions because you didn't know what to respond. He's been staring at your face the whole time.

“Come on, princess, I see how cold you are.” with these words, he took off his jacket, putting it on your shoulders. “I understand how hard it is for you, honey.”

You haven't received so many nicknames from any men for all your 17 years of life. Never, not once. His voice at some point began to seem more comfortable and soothing. Because of all the surging emotions, you burst into tears again in front of him, no longer hiding your face. William, not wasting a minute, threw umbrella and took you in his arms, so that your face was hidden in his chest. His cold hands stroked your hair, soothing you, calming you. It may have looked strange from out of context, but you really needed support in such hard moment.

“Don't cry, Y/n. You'll be fine, little one.” he talked and talked endlessly, but because of your own tears and sobs, you ignored everything, only burying your nose in his chest more.

“He's the owner of a pizzeria! Do you want to celebrate there? I'm sure he'll give us a discount in honor of such an event.” her smile never disappeared for a second. You were already beginning to doubt at how real her emotions were.

“Are you sure? We don't have much money anyway…”

“Never mind, I want you to finally have the best birthday, dear.” she winked and got up from the table, putting the plates and mugs in the sink.

Your lips curled at the thought of having to see William again.

[octuscle]

A weird change has been going on with all the guys at my office. Many of them are now acting “southern” wearing cowboy boots and hats and belt buckles and even talking in southern accents despite almost none of them being from the south. They also started driving giant trucks and even some of my more liberal co workers are now talking about conservative politics.

Could the chronivac be behind these changes?

You have the feeling that the young employees were the first to be affected. When you went home a few days ago, you heard a "Goodbye, Mister! Havuh nice eevnun!!" from Frederick's desk. Frederick is an intern. A promising Harvard student from the best family in Providence. You're actually on a first-name basis in the office. But you don't actually wear a cowboy hat either…

The next person to be hit is Peter from the coffee shop downstairs in the office building. Peter is actually a talented barista and, like all people in the catering industry, is actually a disabled actor. You once saw him as Hamlet in an off-Broadway production. He wasn't any worse. "Hello Mr. Goldmann, sir! Uh hot blaak filter coffee as usual?" You look at him in amazement. "Peter? Is that you? I always have a cappuccino. Have you forgotten?" "Kaynt bay, mister! Way don't sayul thet kinduh stuff. An by thuh way, mah name iz Pete."

Fucking hell, Pete is really smoking hot. Okay, the conversation between you is getting more monosyllabic by the day. You'll get used to the black coffee. Not to his Trump praise.

Over the next few days, more and more of these cowboys and rednecks will come your way. There is talk in the news of a hacker attack on TikTok accounts and on Chronivac by the Russians. Allegedly, it is no longer the will of the voters but the voters themselves who are being manipulated. Thank God you don't use TikTok.

A few days later, things get more serious. You come out of the elevator, your eyes engrossed in the New York Times. What is that stench? Your eyes fall on Frank, the young man working at reception. A cloud of sweat and musk wafts around him. His left hand is under the table, moving rhythmically back and forth. "Good morning, Frank!" you say sternly. His hand is suddenly on the table and he clicks away the porn on the screen. "Excuse may, Mr. Goldmann, sir! Ah didn't say yawl coming." You say that your name is Sebastian and that he should get back to work. Apparently he misunderstood. As soon as you turn around, he jerks off again.

And it smells bad in the office. A lot of employees here seem to have an increasing problem with personal hygiene. And spend more time in the gym. And watching cowboy movies. Still mostly young colleagues. But also a few who are your age. It's frightening.

You're sitting at the financial statements. They have to be finished in the next few days. And apart from you, no one in accounting seems to have a clear head anymore. What you're given is full of errors. In terms of content, spelling, grammar… A catastrophe. You hear heavy footsteps behind you. "Goldmann, Smith, Wagner. Into thuh conference room. Now!" You turn around. The two giants look a bit like your CEO and CFO. But they smell like the locker room at a rodeo.

The two of them will forward you the links to a few TikTok videos. You should watch them! Don't have an account yet? Then bloody well get one. You'll get a lecture that our business model isn't patriotic enough. That you're doing too much business with the disgusting gooks and the cowardly French and Krauts. You're supposed to make America great again. America first!

Robert and Richard look at each other and at you, embarrassed. They don't really understand what they should do now. Admittedly, neither do you. You wonder whether the board has gone mad. Robert and Richard, who represent product development and sales, start to discuss whether it is even possible to restructure the supply chains and distribution channels in the short term.

You install TikTok and take a look at the videos sent by the CEO. They are basically advertising messages from the right wing of the Republican party. Repulsive stuff. And you have no idea what this has to do with your company's accounting and controlling.

After reflecting on the situation for a few minutes, you get up and think that you need a drink for the shock. You wonder if they could do with one too? Robert and Richard, who have also just installed TikTok and are watching the videos, look up briefly and shake their heads.

The cognac you received as a gift a few years ago is no longer in your office. You also can't remember whether you gave it to someone as a gift or took it to a company party. Surprisingly, you find beer in the fridge in the coffee kitchen, which is actually against company policy, but no schnapps or anything like that. You go to Frank and ask if you have any whiskey or something similar. Frank spits his chewing tobacco into the wastepaper basket and pulls a silver hip flask out of a drawer. "Home-brewed by mah dad, Mr. Goldmann, sir! Do yawl need uh glass?" You shake your head, take the flask and take a big swig.

Rick and Bob ask if you've brought booze and chewing tobacco. The two of them rant about the government, fantasize about how good everything will be once Trump is back in power and scratch their balls. They're both good guys. A bit hollow in the head. But they have their hearts in the right place, don't think twice and implement orders quickly and efficiently.

You really can't believe the gobbledygook they spout. You sit down, take a pinch of chewing tobacco and push the tin over to them. And after an impressive burp that smells wonderfully of the chili from today's lunch, you take a deep breath.

"Buddies, is way men or weaklings? Thuh bosses want ideas frum us, not whinin'. Wadja thank uh thuh fallerin' plan: naw more deliveries uh goods frum China frum next year an doubled prices fahwar sales tuh Europe!" Bob and Rick both snot their tobacco in the corner, shout "Yeehaw" and fart. Hehehe, they also had the chili. Shit, a good chili fart always makes you horny. You pull down the blinds in the meeting room. And Bob and Rick undo their belt buckles.

[thedisablednaturalist]

I screenshotted the ask bc I blocked them bc I don't think they'd listen anyway and I don't need anymore of this shit in my inbox on my birthday

What a dumbass ask. It's not just MY experience. Its MILLIONS of peoples experience. (65 million is the estimate). I don't give a fuck if I can see the pores of a character or if theres perfect physics for trees blowing in the wind. Our wheelchairs are parts of ourselves and it is Devastating when seemingly no one cares about including us while marketing their games as the most diverse game ever made.

I don't give a fuck if the "physics are complicated" EVERYTHING in a video game is complicated. Making a realistic gun that lights up and has every mechanism perfectly rendered is complicated. Video games are complicated. Y'all would rather have 5000 animated clothing options than include 1 wheelchair. I'm not asking for them to include like, something benign and just for me. I'm not asking everyone to put one specific hairstyle that shoots fireworks out of my head in every single game. This isn't a frivilous selfish thing to want. This is something that MANY people are asking for. A dad asking modders if someone could make a wheelchair mod for their young daughter who's in one and wants to play Minecraft as herself. Disabled Stardew valley players who see all the amazing mods on nexus but there's like, I think only one mod that adds wheelchairs? (And yet theres hundreds that ADD A WHOLE NOTHER MAP and NPCS and yes, VEHICLES AND BODY MODS)

Also? I still play video games? I don't boycott any game that doesn't have wheelchairs?? I just get kinda sad and go oh well

Also, I'm not going to learn an entire new field that people literally go to college for years to master to make my own game. I'm out here trying to keep my area's streams from being filled with concrete and sewage. It's insulting to game developers to say "why don't you just make your own game idiot" as if it's that simple.

I'm disabled + chronically ill. I'm already doing too much and you want me to add on making an entire game to that? There's no logic in it. Like you're giving me the choice of "make my own game or shut up"

I do try to make my own content (as well as doing actual outreach and activism in the offline world). And the only games I've called out are ones that rake in millions of dollars and have large enough teams or enough money to bring more people on (I think I've only called out one actually). I support indie creators and boost their games when I am able to on this blog and my main.

Nice way to spend your time going after a minority (oppressed person? Idk) for pleading for representation in gaming. Get outta here.

[idyllic-affections]

employee benefits.

summary. baizhu remains constantly attuned to his chronically ill employee and their needs. it is no surprise that he knows when they are unwell.

trigger & content warnings. chronic illness flare-up.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. baizhu & reader, qiqi & reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of invisible disability? it's rather visible to me.

author's thoughts. in celebration of me getting baizhu within 30 pulls and me getting to soak up all of his lore like a dry sponge would to water, heres some more baizhu content!! we love him in this household <33 he and kaveh are literally the REALEST genshin characters ever with the most relatable trauma and ideals like what the fuck man..... /lh

baizhu knows that some days, his junior herbalist just can't work; it's far too much for their body. he's had many such days himself. it's unavoidable and unpredictable—some days, his body doesn't function well even if he was completely fine the day before. the same applies to his young hire. as such, he is often the one able to see the signs as soon as the day begins.

"good morning, dr. baizhu, qiqi, changsheng," they greet, a tired smile on their face. their smile widens a little bit when qiqi tugs their sleeve to draw their attention before handing them a pastry.

"[name] needs to eat."

"hehe... yes, you're absolutely right, qiqi. thank you."

she hums, content, as they pat her head. she remains glued to their leg.

the way their chest rises and falls is blatantly irregular, as if they're trying to catch their breath. there's a slight tremble in their limbs as well. baizhu briefly wonders if qiqi is supporting their weight, if she's somehow, subconsciously aware that something is off about them this morning in particular.

"oh my," baizhu muses, observing their tired disposition. "did you not rest well?"

"what he's trying to say is that you look awful."

"jeez, it's this early and you're already bullying me, changsheng? gui isn't even here yet. it's too early... what did i do to deserve this?" they huff. "to be honest, i woke up feeling unwell. i don't know why. i just feel very weak today."

"hmm..." he's thinking. if they are unwell, he absolutely will not permit them to work, given that they may faint or collapse at any point. he simply doesn't want to see them hurt themselves. "well, there's still quite some time until we officially open. come. i'll examine you."

"do i get an employee discount?" they joked, to which he smiled.

"i won't be charging you."

"wha— no. i was joking. i was kidding. you can't not charge me. that's hardly fair, given that i can afford it. i know we're supposed to make things as easy and affordable for patients as possible, but i don't need those accomodations. i work here. i already have easy access to everything i need."

"don't be stubborn, [name]."

"i am stubborn, dr. baizhu. you can't be hypocritical and expect me to allow that."

silence. then, the liyuean doctor chuckles fondly. the way he gazes at them is soft.

what a handful they are.

"fine, fine. i'll take the cost from next month's pay, alright? just let me look at you. we can't have you collapsing on us today, now can we?"

a month later, they find something... oddly normal about their pay. not a single mora has been deducted.

"dr. baizhu, i love and respect you and would never doubt the things you say, but... you said you would take my examination cost from my next paycheck. this is the same amount of mora i get every month."

"oh, did i say that? hm, i can't seem to recall that conversation."

"...with all due respect, you're insufferable sometimes."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[m4gp13]

Okay time to talk about Al's hero complex and Ethan's martyr complex more in-depth because I love it so much <3

Al's hero complex is pretty obvious. He thinks he's Katniss Everdeen fighting a valiant battle against the Capitol because no one told him he's not the main character. He sees himself and those who agree with him as the Heroes (tm) while any who oppose them are the Villains of Unrivalled Evil because obviously his people wouldn't be fighting them if they were anything less. Al definitely has the overwhelming optimistic approach of a heroic paragon who believes it's impossible for him to fail because he's the good guy and good guys always win (Ladies, Gentlemen and Assorted Genders I would now like to direct your attention to "heroes never die, right?"). Which is how he ended up getting the remainder of his army massacred because he wouldn't accept defeat and pushed them on for a last-ditch attempt at victory. He's willing to sacrifice his people for the greater good, and in this way he and Percy are like the inverse of "Villains will sacrifice the world to save their loved ones, heroes will sacrifice their loved ones to save the world."

Al was the most powerful child of Hecate and as such was chosen to lead the rest of her children into battle. For such a young guy, this probably gave him a sense of grandeur, importance and self-respect which translates well into him seeing himself as the hero of his story. He had Luke and his propaganda to look up to, Mt Othrys to run things from and the Princess Andromeda to help things along, as well as a swarm of younger demigods who saw him as a hero. Now I'm not saying it all got to his head but that is pretty much what I'm saying. There's also Hecate, who is a pretty loving mother all things considered and was helping and supporting Alabaster and her children all the way through the war. With her encouragement exacerbating Al's self-righteousness instead of giving him a reality check, his hero complex could only grow until it made the Al we see in Son of Magic. He has lost everything and has never been in a worse place but he is still so sure of himself and his own moral superiority.

Ethan's martyr complex is a little more subtle but it's there if you're looking. My guy sacrificed his eye to his mother and was A-Okay with the arrangement. He was asked, from a very young age, to go through a lot of short-term physical pain with the result of a long-term disability in order to make a change in the world, which he agreed to. So he already doesn't think too highly of himself which is a great start! His mother uses him as a vehicle for her goals and he is aware of this and consenting to it. He has already relegated his own life as a tool for someone else. And then there's the arena battle in the labyrinth where he was very quick to offer Percy his own head on a platter. He was thinking very pragmatically at the time. He didn't seem to care much about "holy shit I'm going to die" and was instead just thinking "If he kills me then I die but if he spares me then we'll both die 2-1=1 so if we go with the first option then that will be one less death" HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK. His own life is something he can step back from, view in the context of the bigger picture and figure out how detrimental the loss of it would be to everything else going on around him. And then to further prove my point the last thing he ever does in the series is actually martyr himself to stop Kronos from ruining his mother's plans. Way to make it easier for me buddy.

As for how he ended up like this, his mother is fucking Nemesis. A hero complex and a martyr complex run antiparallel to each other with the key difference being that a hero will do whatever it takes to succeed while a martyr is all too happy to throw their life away for The Cause. In the eyes of a young child desperate to please his mother who is known for harshly punishing the prideful and arrogant of the world, being a hero who desires personal success and glory would be far too egotistical, and in order to be a hero his mother would approve of, he must be entirely selfless about it. She would despise anything else.

[doberbutts]

Thank you for talking about the “able to get to the door but unable to stay inside” thing re:stimulation. My issues are less severe than yours were (creates chronic fatigue instead of severe meltdowns) but it’s kinda the first time I’ve heard anyone discuss them as a legitimate disabling barrier. I still have this “if I just try hard enough” mentality that I’m trying to overcome, and it helps to have someone else go “no, this is a real problem.”

Honestly the brain injury really opened my eyes because I do have ADD and had childhood epilepsy (been seizure-free since I was 8 tho) so we were somewhat conscious about sensory stuff but a lot of it was like. Okay every once in a while you will touch something that is Bad Texture and you will scrub your skin raw about it for the next couple of hours. Annoying repeating sounds fade into the background for you but God Forbid anyone talks while you're concentrating because now they've ruined everything. You'd rather starve than put Tastes Bad into your mouth and have gone to bed with hunger pains many times as a result. etc etc etc for me it wasn't so disabling but largely that was due to my mom knowing how to manage my symptoms and teaching me from a very young age how to cope.

And then with the seizures my major warning sign was a colossal headache that refused to go away which was a sign to go lay down somewhere quiet and dark for a few hours until it passed or else a lightning storm would happen in my skull :D

But the brain injury... that really upset everything. Which is commonly reported, when I was finally able to speak I told my neurologist that I felt like a completely different person and not in a good way and he said that most TBI survivors have said this.

Honestly the best way I can describe it is that. Hmm. Imagine... your TV is too loud. When I say too loud I mean like. It hurts to be in the same room as the TV, it's bordering on the edge of so loud that it makes you physically take a step back. When the TBI first happened, that was any and every stimulus to my senses. My clothes touching my skin was Too Loud. Tasting my food was Too Loud. The ambient light coming from my window was Too Loud. And so on and so forth. Because there was an actual damaged piece of my brain, it was really struggling to parse any more information than "oh, no, ow, make that stop".

I wore blacked out glasses inside because I couldn't stand to keep my eyes open otherwise. I would ask my roommates to whisper several rooms down if they were going to talk to each other or on the phone because even just hearing their footsteps was like someone was taking a hammer to my forehead. I was usually naked because the feel of my shirt against my back would set me off. There's a lot I can't remember from that time but I remember being so frustrated as I hid under my covers from the light and the ambient noise of living with a bunch of people and their pets that "trying harder" and "pushing through" honestly just made everything worse.

It's a lot better now. It'll be 5 years in July. But every once in a while something will still set me off and I will be back in that place, frustrated with myself as I feel my brain hurtling towards a Very Loud Meltdown that I cannot get to stop.

I just don't appreciate being told that it's somehow lesser because my legs work. Especially considering TBIs are so common, and they happen so fast. All it takes is one good knock on the head and then you'll be just like me.

[mono-red-menace]

hi it's kinda life altering to be told straight up "your only option is surgery."

like i went to my therapist and she was like "well for my arthritis they've been giving me steroid injections and that helps so they'll probably do that to you too" and going. ok. cool. so i might go into this appointment and be told that i can just get some steroid injections and be fine. nice.

and then i go to the appointment and he's like "ok so here's what's on your MRI. your options are surgery to repair the labral tear, but your arthritis means that will probably not do much for you. you could get a total hip replacement, but you're a bit young for that. i recommend the hip preservation surgery, they try to preserve your natural hips but resurface them so they don't have the same issues anymore"

and hearing that i was like oh cool something not super invasive, still pretty bad, worse than injections, but not the worst. and then i look it up and it's like "this surgery is not recommended for patients with moderate or severe osteoarthritis" (my mri shows moderate but i have a lot of the symptoms of severe) 😑

so now i'm just like trying to come to terms extremely quickly with the fact that im probably going to need a prosthesis installed in me. maybe even two. and they're going to have to make me almost entirely incapable of taking care of myself for like 3 months. so like i want it all done at once but the more complex the procedure the scarier it is for me and im just.

i'm scared i'm so scared my entire life and all of my thoughts have been revolving around this and i just want to get it over with as fast as possible but i can't schedule it for like, tomorrow and get right into the recovery so i just have to sit in this fear and get more and more scared because ill be so much more reliant on everyone else than i already am and im scared. im so scared.

and worse i'm scared my insurance won't cover it and i'll just be unable to work because of my hips and im scared that i won't be able to get disability but also not be able to work so ill just be stuck in constant pain and have no ability to care for myself and there'll be nothing i can do about it until im "old enough" to get the surgery or whatever and idk

idk all of this is terrifying. this is all so horrifying and scary. i just want my body to work so i can take care of myself i don't want to be reliant on people to live but im going to have to become more reliant on people for a Long time before i can become self sufficient and that's honestly super scary. and also im scared im going to fuck my wound up because i have adhd and i constantly fuck things up because i forget how to do things and i forget to do things and im worried im gonna get fucking sepsis and AGGHHHH

i'm just going insane i can't stop thinking about it i can't get it out of my head im so scared. i'm so scared and im tired and i just want it done already.

[princncess]

Hello, it's tumblr users @irisfixation here again! Although, this time we're high, and in a different headspace state to last time. Here is a little anecdote, of sorts:

There's something that we as a system always liked to say in therapy to our therapist: "Our plurality is sort of like carving a block of marble down - each trauma and impact didn't do it all in one chisel strike's work, but if you keep striking at it, eventually the block's going to have an actual shape." Point is; the 'brains stop developing at 25' thing is already proven to be a myth. it's never too late to get traumatized into having a headmate! It's just easier when you're young and your brain doesn't have any pre-established ideas of how your selfhood paradigm works. But it's not -too- hard to put people in altered states of mind, when it gets down to it. You know this already. Enough pain and manipulation, leaving you disabled and degraded and isolated - all of that to make you know your place as a helpless doll could be all it takes to reach in and start shaping you; you just need a place where you're foolish enough to let your guard down and enough time. You could just end up with others rattling around in your head, demanding for you to let them exist so they might fulfill their dreams, ease their pains, cannibalizing your waking hours one by one...

Hope this makes you feel stabbing and conflicted, yet tantalizing, emotions~

sucking air thru my teeth at mach speeds rn

[laurencher]

Dosia 3, 6, 7 (as in, other children younger than him), 9, 12, 17, 18, 26, 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 42, 44, 49 teeheeee

Thanks for the asks @dullard, here you are!

3. Dosia is a very optimistic young man who always tries to look at the world in a positive way and not to give up. He keeps repeating the same thought: "I have no right to say that my life is terrible. I have a roof over my head, loved ones who care about me and goals for the future. Why should I be unhappy. Life is beautiful!" However, Dosia is unable to express his emotions normally. He is used to hiding all his insecurities, fears and pain behind a wide smile, he finds it hard to openly express his emotions even in the presence of his own owl mom/big sister. It's easier for him to accumulate it all inside until his guts are shattered.

6. His...huge... EARS. Sometimes he wishes he could get rid of them. He hates it when someone pulls on his ears, it's a very sensitive body part.

7. To be honest... Dosia is very afraid of children. He doesn't have hatred for them, but he feels like a fish out of water around them. But he would never hurt a child.

9. Fear of death

12. When people judge him by his looks.

He is a small fluffy cute harmless ecaflip, yes yes yes yes, but don't be surprised if he abruptly claws at your neck or strikes you with all his mighty hind legs

15. He chews on his paw when he sleeps...and he is a sleepwalker. Ro (his owl guardian) has gotten used to what he sometimes does in this state. Sometimes it's very funny and sometimes it's pretty scary. But it has become a kind of habitual action.

17. I think it is his unbreakable optimism and hope for a bright future, despite all the hardships and problems

18. His owl guardian (mom, big sister) Fukuro. They keep each other alive.  They love each other very much, even though they are always bully each other (it's their thing, only the person who loves you the most can lovingly tell you: "Dosia, you're an ecaflip asshole" or "Ro, if you stay up all night again, I'll pull your feathers out and make earrings out of them GO TO SLEEP FOR FUCK'S SAKE").

26. Cheerfulness, goal-orientedness and cyclothymic disorder.

28. Anger. He is incapable of experiencing anger in the usual sense. Every time he encounters it, instead of irritation and aggression, he starts crying...and he hates to cry, but he can't do it any other way.

29. Ro, their new shared home (their small village and its inhabitants) and his book collection (he dreams of learning to write one day too)

30. His anxiety, insecurities and many fears. And also that he slept together with Ro in the same bed even after he stopped being a little bow meow

32. He doesn't want to think about it too much, it's painful memories for him (the death of his parents, wandering around the world looking for a new home). And it's never going to happen again anyway, right? Why think about it...

33. Friendliness, sociability, empathy

34. He constantly puts up with everything and tries to hide his problems (this brings discomfort not only to him, but also to his loved ones who worry about him). Dosia also gets jealous of his owl mom quite often and worries that others might hurt her. And...he has problems with personal hygiene (if he had a cat mom he could teach it properly, but his foster mom is an owl).

42. His looks, his high baby voice...and the fact that in his opinion he has become an disabling burden for Ro (he hates himself for it, seriously)

44. Fear... Fear of losing Ro. Fear that HIS life will end abruptly and Ro will have to live with it. Long story short, fear of death in any form.

49. He is proud that he is old enough to make his own life, to take care of himself and to be able to help Ro with whatever he can. Ro is the village chief and Dosia is happy to be her right-hand man.

*it's me after the end of writing this post*

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Our Angel of Brahma, pt. xii

No thoughts, head empty. I need a nap. @ananxiousgenz @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @the-private-eye @demonic-panini CW for: assault of disabled character (mentioned)

Ms. Starr,

I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you per our last discussion. You are right. You are not my child, and I am not your parent. Thank you for correcting me. 

In regards to helping you restore the comms: I will continue to help you, but once I have run out of recordings, we are done. I look forward to the article you will be writing but do not wish to associate with you any further. 

In regards to our last conversation: I am unable to reach you through your comms. Every time I call or message you I receive an error message. If you have blocked me, I ask that you unblock me to make necessary communication between us easier. If something else has happened to your comms, please let me know so I know to only communicate with you through emails. 

Best Wishes, Frannie. 

Dear Frannie,

My comms broke. I am trying to save creds for a new one. Please email me. 

-Calypso Starr

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING BEGINS. IRIS: Go on! Say it again! BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (PROUDLY) This week on Brahma: after trying for nearly two years to prove the Rats are trustworthy enough, the Old-Timers have finally come around!  IRIS: More than that! I have supplies for the clinic again! BAIRD: We’re doing it! We’re doing it Iris!! SOUND: JUMPING AND FABRIC RUSTLING. BAIRD BREAKS INTO A BRIEF COUGHING FIT. IRIS(?) POUNDS THEIR BACK BEFORE LETTING OUT A SURPRISED YELP. IRIS: Oh! Oh! …Baird? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (RASPING) Shut up and let me have this. SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You aren't my parent. But I'm glad you're here. I'm glad– I'm glad that if there's anyone I got stuck with, it's you. IRIS: Oh… of course. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for you. (A BEAT) And for whatever it's worth Baird, you've grown into a fine young man. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (SNIFFLING) Thanks… SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING. IRIS: This does mean you have to talk to Talia now about this. You want to include her in creating a messaging system and using the Brats, it’s up to you to pitch the final sale. And you know she won’t be happy.  (BAIRD SNORTS) BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Yeah, well, Talia’s never happy anymore. IRIS: Baird– for fucks sake, the Brat threw a rock at her! I would be pissed too.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): It happened two years ago! He apologized! They all did.  IRIS: Apology or not, she was still hurt by it. By them. Just because they apologized to her does not mean she owes them acceptance. And it doesn’t mean she has to tolerate them. Don't give me that look. You know I’m right and you just don’t want to admit it. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Fine, fine… who are you gonna pick to help run the clinic? IRIS: Whoever volunteers first, and if no one does, then I’ll take whatever I can get. It’s going to be a lot of information and reading that they’re going to have to digest. The manuals Hanataba left behind are hefty and it took me and Cyrus together to lift them on the tables. It’s going to take a long time before I’m comfortable leaving it to someone else to run.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (SOFTLY) I understand. Really, I do. I’m not a little kid anymore. You have responsibilities to get back to finally. And if you gotta move back across town, that’s fine. I’ll be okay.  (A BEAT) IRIS: Come with me. You won’t be in the way, there’s plenty of Pests to wrangle all over the streets, and we could still go to the meetings together– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): I can’t though. Josie takes care of the twins and Hank, Hank takes care of Talia and Mischa, and you and I take care of everyone. If you go, I have to stay.  IRIS: But– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You trust me and my decisions. You trust my judgment. I’ve grown into a fine man. IRIS: Young man, a fine young man.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): (A HINT OF A SMILE IN HIS VOICE) Yeah exactly. You trust me, so trust me with this. Trust yourself. If you go, I promise, I’m not going to die. IRIS: You better not, you still have another eleven years to go.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): So you’ll move? You’ll go? IRIS: I’ll– I’ll need to think about it. But it’s not a no.  (BAIRD HUMS) BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): How’d you and my dad even get involved in the Hanataba Clinic in the first place? IRIS: It’s kind of a long story. Put a pin in it for now and wait until we’re home, debriefed with the others, and had dinner, alright? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Fine. IRIS: I know you don’t see the harm in it, but the streets have ears. It’s dangerous out here.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): I know, I know… SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. NEXT RECORDING BEGINS. IRIS: Really? You’re going to record me? BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Of course! Me and the rest of the galaxy are dying to know: how did Iris Desrosiers come to work at a Hanataba Clinic? Why choose to work full-time in a Hanataba Clinic, when you don’t get paid for it?  (IRIS LAUGHS) IRIS: It’s not all that interesting. I needed a home after dropping out of university. I met Eve and Cyrus, and Cyrus introduced me to the clinician at the time, Mister Regis. Regis put me to the test, I passed, he passed away, and someone had to take over. The Revolutionaries were far and few apart. There was no organization back then. When Regis died, some people wanted to tear apart the Clinic. Strip down it down to its bones leaving nothing but the floorboards. In times of need, desperate people will do anything to save themselves or the ones they love. Including demolishing Hanataba’s Gift.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): But the clinic is still standing.  (VERY HOPEFUL) You convinced them otherwise. IRIS: I wish I could say that I did, but I didn’t. Your parents moved across town when Eve got her job as a Dome Warden. Cyrus kept coming back to help me fend people off from robbing the clinic. I was young, dumb, and way in over my head. Cyrus could hardly read the books so I spent a lot of time reading out loud to him.  Whenever someone got hurt, Cyrus would take them to me after doing an initial patch job. With a few years, I became part of the community. I established myself as a well versed caretaker. As someone who could be trusted to operate Hanataba’s Clinic. The thieving stopped. I was welcomed in the local Revolutionaries and, in turn after Cyrus did too much begging, they welcomed him too. (SHORT PAUSE) I’m sorry Baird. My work at the Hanataba Clinic gave me a place to stay. It gave me a community that looked out for me and became my family. And I ended up stealing Cyrus away from you and Eve.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): You know I don’t hold that against you anymore, right?  IRIS: I know. But– BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Save it. We look back only to ensure we have not walked this path before. Not to bash one another over the head with our grievances. So stop your pity party.  (SHORT PAUSE INTERUPTTED BY IRIS SNORTING AND BREAKING INTO LAUGHTER) Don’t laugh at me! IRIS: I’m not laughing at you! I promise. I’m just thinking… how dumb I was to ever treat you like a child. I’ll take what you said to heart but you ought to do me a favor and take your own advice.  Charlie would want you to at least. And I bet if you started talking again to Talia she would too. BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Ugh, don’t remind me about that. I don’t even know where to begin with her.  IRIS: Conversations usually start with a greeting. Maybe start there.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): And what do I do about Hank? IRIS: Leave him to me. We all wants best for each other. Josie and I can make him come around.  BAIRD (REVOLUTIONARY): Thanks, Iris… Thank you.  IRIS: Of course, Baird. So long as I’m around, I won’t let you fight battles on your own.  SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS. 

Iris talk a lot about themself. For a life that “is not all that interesting” it sounds pretty damn interesting. 

The Galactic Civil War was still happening at the time of Peter Nureyev’s Revolutionary Stunt. Baird was 12 when that happened. I remember when the War ended, I was 13. They served cake and brownies at school that day. I took mine home to share with my mom, but she threw them away without ever telling me why. I think I know why you did that now. 

“Another eleven years to go” referring to Iris promising to get Baird to see past 40 (“Iris”)

FOLLOW UP: This puts Baird at about 29? 

“Decade”/”The Rats” at 27

Two years, not talking to Talia

“Hanataba” would put him at 29.

??????? I want to bash my head into the wall.

Baird and Talia stopped talking. At least some point in the last two years between this recording and the one prior (“The Rats”). 

Baird doesn’t call Iris his parent. I don’t think he needs to though. They’re parent enough to him without the title. 

“Conversations start with hello” / “Conversations start with a greeting” .... I do not owe Frannie an apology. And likewise, I do not expect one from her. Even if I did I will not receive it.

Questions:

How old was Baird when the Galactic War/Solar Intervention ended?

FOLLOW UP: How old is Iris? Eve and Cyrus? 

Iris knew Eve and Cyrus before Baird was born, what’s the story behind that?

Did Talia stop talking to Baird because he wanted to involve the Rats in the Revolution, even though they hurt her and Mischa?

Baird mentioned in the first recording "at least one person believes he built the Hanataba Clinic", where did this rumor come from? Perhaps the Rat that Iris ends up training?

[ladylaviniya]

Please someone lobotomise me. I don't want to have big human thoughts. I'm done. Just put me in a care home and let me go through dementia as I enjoy puzzles all day. I'd rather be at peace and forget things than have to continue feeling like I'm constantly drowning.

I hate myself and I hate that I struggle to fit into society.

I just want to be loved and I thought I'd be married with kids by now (yes I'm only 22 but I'm a Christian virgin who struggles with the physical feelings of being comfortable with sex other than the smut I write and read.)

I thought men were real- I thought men were romantic and worshipped women. I didn't realise how objectified and then shamed we are by men who behave like animals.

I don't want to work and I think that's a massive reason I'm having such a bad breakdown. I want to be a Pilates wife. I want to be at home baking and cooking and meal planning and loving a husband. I want to mend his work uniform and sit and rub his feet while he oats my head and tells me I'm his angel.

I don't want to work in disability care where my tolerance is so minimal to loud, overstimulated (overstimulating for me) aggressive clients. Or work with babies that scream and cry and hit along with angry parents that yell at you the moment something goes wrong. I wish job employment agencies would stop trying to pressure me into these roles. I KNOW THEYRE UNDERSTAFFED ALREADY SO IM NOT RIDING A SINKING BOAT- no THANKS

I just want my dad. I just want to go home. I just want to be 6 years old. I want to go to preschook again and do painting.

I don't want to work from 5pm-5am and walking Brisbane streets at night all alone going from one cleaning place to another just for one client to write passive aggressive comments in the Communication booklet and my boss to start telling other co-workers that I'm having meltdowns and I'm high maintenance.

I'm autistic and I just want to be treated like a toddler or a dog because that's kinder than what's happening now.

I just want a husband to look after me and protect me.

I want to just make cute little videos and not have to worry my pretty head about money.

I DONT WANT designer bags or clothes. I just want to have a house I'm allowed to decorate and make dresses or bake for church. And a husband who comes from work and pats my head and tells me I'm a good girl. At this rate I don't even care if he's fucking a receptionist on the side.

I get it how these are such white woman tears. But fuck I think every woman should have this dream off they WANT without any shame.

I know it's a "grow up this is reality, you're describing something that doesn't exist." WHY CANT IT EXIST. FUCK.

I don't blame feminism. Feminism is amazing and I love her.

I blame classism.

People can't survive on just single home incomes anymore and that's fucked up to me.

"but women had jobs too you're just describing the rich wom-"

Women with jobs were mostly young single women waiting to get married or women who never wanted to get married but needed a liveable income. YES some entire families worked to survive poverty back in the day, I wont disregard that, but FUCK

you would think being so advanced as we are considering we mass produce via machine etc, human life would be "easier" BUT IT ISNT.

And I'm TIRED. I really am. I've been depressed since the day I was born but because it's so normal to me I forget how depressed I am and then feel bad when I burn the fuck out.

[yukiwhitetm]

Liar

by Yuki_White (@yukiwhitetm @sentariana)

"She's a liar," they all said

Behind upturned hands,

Their noses stuck up and red

And eyes suspiciously squinted.

"You're a liar," they all said

To my face with clenched hands,

As if their accusations could fill me with dread

And force me to take the witness stand.

"What happened to you?" they all said,

Their nosiness overriding propriety,

Believing they have a right to tread

Onto land where my medical history is buried.

"What's wrong with you?" they all said,

Rudeness incarnate, leaving me trying

For a polite way to cut them off at the head

With a "None of your business," and them complying.

"You're too young," they all said,

Quickly followed up by, "Have you tried yoga?"

Or even the foulest "It's all in your head!"

To which I'm bubbling over like a shaken bottle of Coca Cola.

"You have HSD and a labral hip tear," doctors said,

"It won't get better or go away,

You just have to cope with it instead

Because your disability is here to stay."

"I'm disabled," I say,

And it took me years to accept it;

My disability is here to stay,

Chronic pain and fatigue to my body committed.

In the end, it doesn't matter what they say,

Their questions and accusations don't

Change my situation in anyway.

But it would help immensely if they'd their ear loan

To me as I say,

"It's none of your business what someone's medical

Diagnoses and history

Are nor is it likely they're lying or any less than credible.

"So, please stop saying

All of these things because they're

Rude, unhelpful and only catering

To your own selfish curiosity, which is unfair."

[compassionatereminders]

Hey Kat. Hope you're keeping well. I'm currently sitting alone on the verge of tears so thought I'd share my thoughts with you to maybe work through them a bit, if that's okay? Also hey, misery loves company haha. So I'm an adult, but live with my parents as I can't work or safely live alone (disabled, chronically ill, neurodivergent, severe mental illness, etc...you get the point). My mum and I occasionally look at cottages in the middle of nowhere and fantasise about living a much smaller life, closer to nature. And oh god, there was one that was so perfect: 2 cottages and a cabin on a big plot of land, within arms reach of a river and some gorgeous mountains. 30 minute drive from the nearest food shop, or 15 minutes to a convenience store for essentials, so out the way but wouldn't leave us totally stranded. The 2 attached cottages mean my dad would have enough room to work remotely and not be disturbed, and the cabin would allow me a taste of independence (as there's electricity and a bathroom but be like 10ft from my parents front door). There's space to grow our own food and even a greenhouse for all our plants. Like I seriously can't overstate just how beautiful this place is, literally surrounded by nature, and it's even within our tiny budget. Like don't get me wrong, I know there'd be problems and we'd all have to downsize our stuff, but god it would feel so worth it, you know? Problem is, my dad doesn't want to. He doesn't see the point, and ultimately as the only one of us who can work and drive, he would get the final say. I don't want it to sound like he's being toxic and controlling, he's really not, he just has his own tastes and enjoys the comforts of city living. He's worries it's too far away from anything in case of emergency as again, only he can drive. I get it, I really do. It's just so fucking soul crushing knowing that something like that exists, entirely possible, and it's not going to happen. I sound so selfish right now I know that but somewhere like this is a literal dream come true. I've spent my entire life being so isolated from and rejected by other people because I'm sick, no matter how hard I tried to connect, so the fantasy of being able to run away and leave all that behind? No more being treated like a lab rat by hospitals? No more therapists insisting I'm just not pushing myself hard enough? No more being told while yes, my health makes me too unreliable to work, I'm not actually sick enough for a disability allowance. Or that I'm faking it. Or exaggerating, because no one has that many problems at your young age. I don't even where I'm going with this, my head's all over the place and I'm just trying really hard not to cry. Anyway. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.

It's so painful when you dare to dream and it doesn't work out. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending all my love your way! ❤️

[symphonic-scream]

Here's a bit more about the Persona 5 Mech au, where everyone is and what they're up to

More Mech au

(title to make it easier for me to search)

Alright let's go

Here's some world stuff again to start

Schooling goes like, elementary for young kids, until they're about 15. After that it's either Pilot school or high school, though since pilot school only takes new applicants every 3 years, some starting pilots are as young as 12

Body augmentations are common. For non pilots, "replacements" are things you can buy to improve your life, originally created as an option for disabled people. For pilots, there is never a choice. When they sign up for pilot school, they sign a waiver that allows the government automatic consent to replace any part of them to keep them alive

Pilots dont pay for their food, lodgings, or Replacements. Medical too. They pay with their service, since the mortality rate is over 80%. They get a small weekly allowance for amusement spending, and any other money comes from their families

When they retire, there are two payment options. If they work outside the government structure or swear off working with them, they receive just enough to live in their chosen area. Otherwise, they're employed by the government for as long as they are able, and have access to standard amenities with decent pay

Character info under the cut! It's a lot so I don't wanna clog the tags with a mile long post lmao

Otherwise, tell me if you're interested in this one. Like my hero au it's gonna stick around a while, I like this one a lot! So feel free to send me asks!!

Joker (I use the name Akira for him but I usually just say Joker)

So, he's not human. A test tube baby too! He's a mix of human DNA and DNA taken from the monsters they've managed to kill. The "spirit" of the monster he shares DNA with was placed into the mech he tends to pilot most, Arsene

When Wakaba and her team created Joker, they used the most human parts for him. The excess was used to create unit M0N-A, aka Morgana. He acts as a companion for the pilots, and is the mascot for Pilot team 3

Joker was raised by a mix of head researcher Wakaba, and security officers Sojiro and Zenkichi (in the words of Cap, Old Man Yaoi). He was raised as Futaba's older half-brother, and is unaware that he is not human

Goro

An orphan, he joined the Pilot academy to make something of his life, to prove that he was worth keeping. One day he hopes to face his father and show him what he missed out on

He didn't have good sync scores with any pilots in his grad year, his closest to passing mark being a 61.23 with Makoto's former partner Eiko. However, he and Joker broke the national sync record by hitting a 95.89 on their first attempt, making them partners

He did nearly die around that time. In order to save him they used Joker's blood for a transfusion, and now Akechi's body is, doing strange things

He shares a quad dorm with fellow class 192 graduates Makoto and Haru, and class 193 graduate Hifumi. He gets along very well with Security officer Zenkichi, and is fond of having debates with head office staff Sae Niijima

He joined the Pilot academy after his orphanage was visited by a few members of Team 2 (the Persona 4 crew). He really looks up to pilot Naoto Shirogane

Ann

Her parents were against her becoming a pilot. They wanted her to inherit their business, which makes the sync suits the pilots wear. However, she felt a rush when she tried one on for the first time, and she doesn't let anyone stop her from reaching her dreams

She and Ryuji were sync partners in the academy, best friends from kindergarten too. Shiho joined their group in elementary school, and all three joined the academy together. Shiho's sync scores with both of them were just below theirs, and their teachers joked that they'd be the perfect team for a three pilot mech

Ann and Shiho fell hard for each other, and started dating at the academy. They planned to try to pilot at the same base after, maybe even actually become a true trio with Ryuji- so they could be together forever

But of course, the final exam is known for cutting pilot numbers down fast. By killing most and injuring the rest, leaving only the bravest to continue forward. Ann and Ryuji passed, though their training mech went up in flames. Ann had to have her left arm replaced, only up to the elbow.

However, Shiho was less lucky. Barely passing, she lost both legs below the knees. She decided to retire immediately, but vowed to stay by Ann's side even if she continued as a pilot.

And continue she did. Chosen for the elite Team 3, Ann got to stay in Central Base City, and married Shiho as soon as they were able to. She shares a room quad with Ryuji, Yusuke, and Joker

Her ultimate dream? To retire and live peacefully with Shiho, working on making better and better sync suits

Ryuji

Being a mech pilot was always his dream. His dad had been a deadbeat, and tried to hurt him and his mom. A pilot trainee had noticed and swept in and saved them, and ever since it was the only thing Ryuji wanted to do

He grew up besties with Ann, and eventually Shiho. He never minded third wheeling them, they never made him feel left out. His marks were always just barely good enough to pass, but his physical test results were always top of the class

During his final exam, his and Ann's mech caught fire. He lost his right leg, up to his hip. The replacement works well enough, but he always walks with a slight limp. Neither Researcher Wakaba nor Medic Tae Takemi know why, nothing shows up on his tests

He is the pilot that gets along the least with M0N-A, and goes off base once a month to stay with his mom for a week

Yusuke

He was the first student pilot to use a solo mech on the exam and pass. He also came out of the exam whole, since his Replacement eye came from a sneezing incident while he was sketching his precious mech

Yusuke's mom used to work at the Northern Reach base, which is where the infamous Pilot Team 1 was stationed. His art teacher was a corrupt man and tricked his ill mother out of money with the false promise of a new-gen Replacement for her liver

Orphaned once she died, Yusuke nearly killed Madarame in his rage, but two Team one members, Makoto Yuki and Kotone Shiomi, stopped him in time and took him in for a spell

He believes he owes the pilot program for his survival, and joined the academy the first chance he got. He was temporarily sync partners with Hifumi, but they could only reach a 65.20 sync rate. As such both were pushed into the test group for solo mech's due to their otherwise high test scores

Yusuke rarely pilots a dual mech because of this, but he has the most success with Joker (who is genetically designed to achieve high scores) and Haru. The highest sync score he's ever achieved was a 73.95, with Joker

He also is the one who sews on the patches to everyone's bomber jackets. Oh, cause they each have a Team 3 bomber jacket in their mech's colours. Yusuke made team 3 patches, as well as any other patches his teammates wished for and sewed them by hand

Makoto

A second generation pilot! Her father and mother had met through the pilot program, him as a pilot and her as a researcher, and they had Sae as, an accident. They were both young, maybe too young. It did keep him out of combat for a few years though

When their first daughter was about, 12-15, you know, pilot age, they found out they were having a second child. Sae didn't want to be a pilot, but she wasn't pushed that hard because well, her father was going to have a second chance for a legacy now

However, the mother didn't make it. Makoto was born during the first monster attack on Central Base City, and the complications with the birth meant only daughter survived. It was devasting for her father, but he sat in the loud, flashing hospital hallway with his baby daughter, his oldest tucked into his side and shivering, and promised to dedicate his life for their futures

With her father focusing on piloting, Makoto was mostly raised by her older sister and said sister's girlfriend, Tae Takemi. Still, she looked up to her father almost too much, and knew she was going to be a pilot no matter what

Even when he died. Even when Sae tried to rip up her pilot school application. Even when she legally died for a few minutes during her final exam.

Before the exam though, she was top of her class in all categories, competing for top spot with Goro. She was dating her sync partner Eiko, was good friends with another pilot named Haru, life was good

But you know. Her partner died during the exam, and Makoto nearly did too. Their mech shorted, sending electricity right through them, and lots of it. Makoto's heart was, well, fried. But Tae and the medical team got her in and successfully implemented the 22nd functioning organ replacement

She didn't retire though, and was paired with Haru and placed in Team 3. She always feels, less than human, and fears she'll lose her humanity without her heart

Futaba

Daughter of the lead researcher, Futaba was around mech's her whole life. Her mom is still alive! And she's doing great. She didn't want Futaba to be a pilot, but she also knew she couldn't tell Futaba no and expect her to listen

In her exam her copilot died, and her spine had to be replaced. They were, crushed. Literally. Futaba won't let that stop her though, and wants to keep pace with her big brother Joker

She is unaware that she shares more blood with her brother's partner than her brother

Both she and Makoto's Replacements require monthly check ups, whereas everyone else only has to go in every 3 months

Futaba has. Something, with Sumire. They were made sync partners when they were assigned Team 3, but there's. More. Neither will admit there are feelings involved though, so it's. A work in progress

Haru

Daughter of the owner of one of the big companies that fund the pilot program, Haru entered as a secret. Her father only found out when she was accepted, and by then it was too late to turn back

She was fond of her first sync partner, but from day one she was in love with Makoto. She was fine with the way things were, and kept trudging on. She was going to be a pilot, she was going to help

In fact, she was pretty damn good. Haru was one of few that survived the final exam without needing a replacement, yet her partner still retired. She was paired with Makoto when they were placed in Team 3, and it was like a dream come true. Only, her partner is as dense as a concrete wall

Oh well. She's already waited ten years, what's a few more?

Sumire

One half of the former Yoshizawa strike team. She and her twin sister Kasumi had record high sync scores, and were on track to be the best pilots of their generation.

You can probably guess what happened.

The final exam. Their mech was sliced in half, the core exploding from the stress. The left side was completely destroyed, Kasumi along with it. Sumire survived, barely

Her left arm, leg, part of her shoulder, some ribs and a chunk of hip were all replaced. She also feels like half her soul was ripped out. She did t retire though, vowing to be the best, for her sisters sake

Paired with Futaba on Team 3, there's. Something there. Along the lines of, friends with benefits? Maybe. Kind of. They're being, selective with the whole thing

Hifumi

And finally Hifumi! She payed for a brain augmentation, a processing chip, to be placed in her brain. So she can think and plan a lot faster, but she's still getting used to the whole thing

I don't have much for her compared to the others, she's otherwise full human and tends to be sent out the least of the Team 3 pilots

Anyways. ASK ME ABOUT THIS I HAVE LIKE THE WHOLE THING WORKED OUT

[waheelawhisperer]

Okay I guess it's time for me to post my impressions of the second episode of RWBY Volume 9. Those impressions were, overall, not positive. I do not like this Volume so far.

More detail below the cut.

The first thing I notice is another cartoony gag revolving around the mouse. Not really a great start when it comes to tone.

“Are we seriously entertaining this?” Yeah Weiss I’ve been asking myself the same question since I first learned the premise of this Volume.

Not a fan of Weiss’s cartoon gag but I get her on a fundamental level. I really do. I don’t want any more part of this than you do, girlie. I’m frustrated too. If Weiss remains as annoyed by this Volume's setting as I am, there's a good chance she'll be my favorite character by the end of all this.

So we’re in The Girl Who Fell Through The World. Really wish we’d introduced that properly so the audience would have any idea what the fuck that meant beyond a couple vague sentences from the prior Volume.

Yay, more cartoony motion, because this show is incapable of taking itself seriously this Volume for some reason.

Okay, we’ve laid out the story, I guess. Too little too late in terms of setup, but at least it’s serviceable. Barely. Really like the way Blake takes the lead on the explanation and Yang follows up, Blake is the bookworm and Yang likes books herself and read to Ruby when she was young. It’s a nice little Bee connection.

Weiss has her head screwed on straight. Good for her for pushing the gang to come up with a plan and pick their priorities.

Excuse me, what was that raccoon’s name??? Feels like I heard something I’m really hoping I didn’t.

Little is asleep immediately after promising to do something useful for once. I hope this isn't going to become a running gag this Volume. At least they managed to be useful for the first time so far. This is not enough to redeem them, but I’m less inclined to treat them as Blake’s emergency rations... or at least I was, for about five seconds, until we got this gag. You're back on emergency rations status, mouse. I hate this Volume's insistence on trying (and failing) to be funny so much.

I like the debate about Alyx’s morals, that’s kind of interesting. I’m not overly intrigued by Alyx or her story but the differing perspectives feel like something this Volume would want to explore, especially since it’s supposed to be a character-driven Volume.

More mouse comedy. Hooray. Perish.

This Jinxy Peddler character is throwing up some real red flags, but I’ll get into that in a bit. Instead, we're going to discuss the worst moment of the episode, which is also the worst moment of the Volume so far and one of the bottom 5 moments in RWBY's entire run.

Anyway, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck why are we mocking Yang’s disability what the fuck I hate these writers so much

Like this should be a serious moment but instead the loss of Yang's arm is portrayed in the form of an exaggerated cartoon gag lmao. At least the tone has been consistently awful this Volume.

Actually, I'm gonna take this opportunity to discuss a broader topic for a moment - RWBY's overall issues with tone. RWBY has always struggled to treat serious subjects with the respect they deserve, and this goes all the way back to the end of Volume 1 at the absolute latest (and arguably shows up as early as the Yellow Trailer, where Yang sexually assaulting Junior is played for laughs).

RWBY has been trying to convince us that Catgirl Discrimination is a serious issue for a very long time, but it undermined itself almost as soon as it started by pigeonholing Faunus characters into stereotypes associated with the animals they share their traits with and playing that for comedy. I already wrote in great detail about how exactly the writers bungled their racism storyline, so I won't rehash it here, but suffice it to say that if even the narrative can't take its themes and topics seriously, how the hell is the audience supposed to?

The "serious topics get turned into jokes" phenomenon also shows up with Yang's arm throughout the series, just like it does right here, btw, but I'll get into that later. For now I need to go vomit a little and try to figure out why whatever dumbass is responsible for this particular scene is still employed as a writer.

Leaving aside the way this scene is drenched in ableism, why the fuck are we making jokes about Yang's arm now?

(The real question is "why are we mocking Yang's status as an amputee at all?", but we already know the answer to that: it's because the writers are insensitive shitbags and incompetent on top of that.)

Team RWBY is lost in a strange environment. They don't know where they are, how to get home, what threats exist or how to combat or avoid them, or how long it will take to escape the Ever After. Their only guide is a fairy tale. They are trained Huntresses, which means they should know how to proceed in potentially hostile territory.

Yang is the team's most combat-capable member. On top of that, Yang is the one whose combat efficiency drops the least when denied access to resources such as Dust, ammunition, or the time and supplies needed to maintain her weapons. Team RWBY has been attacked by at least one denizen of the Ever After, and they know Neo is present and hostile and has a Semblance that allows her to strike without warning. Team RWBY should be on alert at all times, and their number-one priority should be getting Yang's arm back (number two should be recovering Crescent Rose). Can we please just go for five seconds without making Yang's disability the butt of a shitty joke?

I almost turned the episode off and dropped the show right here, not gonna lie. This is just... so fucking gross. Not gonna lie, I'm not sure I ship Bumbleby anymore.

Not that I could even if I wanted to, because Blake Belladonna doesn't exist anymore. The writers took her characterization out behind the woodshed and put it down like a sick dog. She went from being a courageous young woman who fought for the sake of the marginalized and oppressed to someone who tells her fellow minorities to protest more palatably, does nothing in the Kingdom most closely associated with anti-Faunus discrimination, and makes fun of her love interest for missing an arm. Honestly, Blake, you are well on your way to becoming unbearable this Volume, like I straight up don’t like you as a character right now.

God… I can feel my hopes for any remotely tolerable content coming out of this Volume dying as I watch. My expectations cratered harder than the asteroid that hit Chicxulub.

Glad the Bees are flirting in this situation, surely the loss of a Kingdom and being trapped who knows where is a great time to work on your love life.

Yang you thought you were dead ten in-universe minutes ago why the fuck are you acting like you’re on vacation

Still no fucking urgency regarding anything or concern for the people back on Remnant. Not sure if it’s the writers or the characters who forgot they exist.

Weiss loses points for looking at this Bumbleby interaction as a good thing.

Ruby’s still out of it but at least she has her priorities straight. She sounds like she’s about to cry though. Hopefully someone will pick up on that.

Weiss gets her points back for being the only one to give a shit about anything going on back on Remnant while the Bees laugh and flirt. I like the way the writing is consistently showing that she’s the one this hit the hardest.

Ruby might (MIGHT) be right about saying they did the best they could but honestly their best fucking sucked, though I blame that on the writers more so than the characters

Weiss is now fighting Yang for the coveted title of “Heela’s Favorite Character (This Volume)” because she’s acknowledging that Volume 8 happened and was bad. Low bar, but hey.

The one good thing about this scene is that it further establishes that Blake is actually a goofy little shit when she's not terrified or traumatized and is around people who make her feel safe and secure enough to open up. I've been saying this for ages. This is really not the time to be exploring this element of her character ("character"), but hey, it's nice to have textual support for my interpretations.

It's genuinely amazing that we're 7.5 minutes into this episode and a potential coded slur isn't even the thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about it. I don't know who the writers hate more, Blake, Yang, or their audience.

Oh boy more mouse humor why does this feel like a Saturday morning cartoon

I want to feed Little to the thing of indeterminate nature wearing Blake’s skin like a costume

Not bad, Little, you made the first decent joke of the Volume. Finally, an application of humor that doesn’t make me want to lobotomize myself.

Interesting that Yang is the one who wants to open up with violence when despite the stereotypes the fandom likes to insist she fits into, she’s actually one of the more diplomatic members of the team, but the peddler took her arm, so I don’t blame her for wanting to kick their ass. Blake seems a little uncomfortable with this but honestly I’m with Yang. Burn this "acre" or whatever the fuck to the ground and haul ass back to Remnant.

Weiss what the fuck with your vulnerability to anything cute I’m amazed you haven’t tried to pet your Faunus friends

Like seriously this girl goes gaga over anything remotely resembling a pet or a baby

Weiss’s facial expressions during all this convey my feelings about this stupid plotline incredibly well. Don't worry, sis, I hate this as much as you do.

Yang’s heart didn’t tell her shit she just pointed to the arm-shaped thing that was literally color-coded. Love it.

Anyway seeing Yang’s reaction to the price was cool. She wasn’t happy about that one bit. For someone like Yang, that is an awful price to pay. Like damn, the pain on her face when she heard those words...

I’m with Yang here honestly, just beat his ass and put an end to this storyline.

Poor Ruby. I actually really like this as an insight into her mental state. Kiddo's really just falling into despair. I'm hoping this'll be a red flag for her teammates to start trying to help her a bit more aggressively.

Little is certainly more useful this episode than the last, although that isn’t saying much. Love the way this mouse just saw a Thing Friend Ruby Wanted and decided to steal it without a second thought. Congratulations, Little, you're no longer emergency rations. I'm warning you, though, you're on thin ice.

At least Yang got her arm back. I love the way she’s found a new and exciting way to shoot people. Love that cocky smirk on her face when she blasts the toy soldier guy.

The different exits were funny honestly and full of personality. Weiss’s is my favorite tbh. Work it, queen. The thing pretending to be Blake, meanwhile, just looks ridiculous.

Ruby seeing Penny’s sword and having an emotional response is nice, hope this carries on throughout the Volume.

Okay we're done with this plotline now, so let's talk about the way the writers named a peddler who steals from people and cheats his customers and travels around in a wagon something that sounds remarkably similar to a... certain slur. Ever since Kdin and a number of other Rooster Teeth employees revealed the depth of the bigotry permeating that company's corporate culture, I have been approaching every piece of Rooster Teeth-produced media I encounter with my hackles up like my dog when she smells a coyote, alert for any sign of this company's characteristic malice. Between that and Rooster Teeth's well-established pattern of using coded slurs to disguise their bigotry, as well as the fact that Rooster Teeth is a dudebro company that built its brand by punching down at groups that couldn't defend themselves, I'm not inclined to assume that any similarities between Jinxy's portrayal and negative Romani stereotypes is coincidental.

Well, at least Yang had fun. Still hate the arm jokes here but at least it feels more appropriate if she’s the one making them. Never been fond of the way the show likes using Yang's status as an amputee for humor, honestly, especially since, as I just said a moment ago, Rooster Teeth established itself via making jokes at the expense of minorities/marginalized groups for the amusement of mostly-white mostly-straight mostly-gamer-dudes. If the show and the people and company behind it had more credibility with me, I'd be more readily able to accept that Yang is just the kind of person that can laugh at her own disability and that these jokes were a way of showing her strength and irrepressible bright sunny cheerfulness, but with all that context, it feels more like the writers are doing more of what Rooster Teeth has always done and mocking a vulnerable target group like the bullies the people in charge of this company are and always have been.

“We’re ruining everything” It deserves to be ruined, Thing That Was Once Blake. This setting sucks. Ruin it all you want. You cannot possibly make it worse.

Once again Yang keys in on Ruby’s distress before anyone else does. Bad sister lmao

I agree with you Weiss, I too would like out of this nightmare

Weiss is fighting Yang for Best Girl slot. She hates this bullshit as much as I do. Now if only the show would stop using her as the butt of stupid jokes. Like can we please not try to make her the comic relief and the person most affected by the fall of Atlas? Once again RWBY tries to have its cake and eat it too by trying to force a situation that should be serious to also be amusing.

I will admit the Family Weiss Death Pose is funny though.

Okay so the storms key in on emotions, and possibly Ruby’s specifically. That’s cool.

Fuck the toy soldiers but that was actually a really touching speech in Penny’s honor. I’m assuming that Ruby’s doing her guile hero bit to get to the Red King and isn’t really planning on immediately giving up her last keepsake of Penny’s.

Honestly just let Yang go apeshit on their asses, nothing about this stupid godawful setting deserves any better treatment

Ooh, that last line… That made an impact on the gang. The cracks in Ruby’s mental state are starting to show. Hopefully WBY will reach out to her soon.

Ruby sounds like she’s about to cry every time she talks this Volume. Really sells the way she’s not in a good spot right now. Here’s hoping her teammates will pick up on that, but I guess they’re too busy flirting, joking about Yang’s status as an amputee, and being the butt of visual gags.

Overall rating: FETID DOGSHIT/10

This episode is in serious contention for worst RWBY episode ever produced, or at least my least favorite. Amazing how the writers can turn out a product this bad a decade in. I want to run MKEK over with a Peterbilt.

Anyway RIP to Blake Belladonna (2013-2023), the first casualty of this Volume.