#allison x margot

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Embry Hawthorn (an OC) X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Mildly Fluffy Prompt [Full Version]

• Embry’s face-claim is Margot Robbie as Allison Wells (altered using AI Mirror, Duty Calls filter)

• This is the full version of the writing instalment/prompt as promised!

• There will be more!

!TW: Implied being previously manipulated/abused as well as sexually harassed, insult(s), implied suffering from PTSD/recollection of traumatic memories, dystopian atmosphere/supernatural elements (monsters/an Apocalypse), implied suffering from depression + Self-doubt + anxiety as well as separation anxiety, mention of a previous break-up/breaking up in general, presence of weaponry, mention of a break-in/invasion, mention of being in mental as well as physical pain, implied grieving over the loss of loved one(s), presence of self put-down(s)/self-hatred, self-harm, presence of blood, injury detail, swearing, violence, murder, guilt, intimidation/being intimidated, threat(s), attempted kidnapping, mention of experimental torture/torture in general - If I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

Sound the Bugle/Fight Fire With Fire

‘No wonder she left, who could love you?’ The words hit you harder than anything else ever had before, as you jolted awake from the half-nightmare half-daydream, before you buried your face into Embry’s right arm, and found yourself trying not to cry; you’d been hit by certain memories of your life before the Apocalypse more frequently recently, and it was painful. Embry often tried to stay awake for you, especially now that she was expecting them more than she ever had been before. She cradled your body close to her, a pained expression on her face whilst you sniffled barely audible against her arm, and tried desperately not to glance up at her no matter how much your gaze longed to fall upon her, but you knew that she’d be even more upset if she noticed that small tears were beginning to cloud your vision, all for a reason currently unbeknownst to her.

“Y/n,” she cooed gently, and you would falter instantly; hearing her voice just made things harder to hold back, as a strained sob escaped your lips, and her heart dropped alongside it, “hey-”

“I - I’m fine,” you mustered up feebly, hastily lifting your right hand up to wipe your tears away as you made to turn away from her, “just, don’t - don’t worry about me, okay?”

“But-”

“Just stop, please,” you begged her, and she would falter, a hurt look on her face, before she nodded gravely, and tried to hide that your interjection had hurt her the way it had; she knew you didn’t mean to snap at her like that; that you were probably just upset, and needed a minute to think about things - she knew you too well, as she carefully wrapped her arms around your waist, and delicately rested her head upon your right shoulder to remind you that she was there for you, no matter what the future held for you both after today. “Ember?” You managed, after a little while of silent comforting, as well as admiration, snapping her out of her brief trance; whilst you’d been trying to pull yourself together, she’d been distracted by the two light freckles along your right arm, smiling softly whilst she drew small circles around them using the thumb of her hand - she was too good to you, you’d never stop believing, only prompting your heart to sink whilst you were briefly brought back to that night again; the night your first girlfriend decided to up and leave you for reasons unbeknownst to you.

‘Why are you crying? You certainly don’t deserve to,’ your father’s voice sounded out again, and you would wince, tensing up a little, whilst another tear managed to leak from the corner of your left eye, despite your previously thinking you’d got rid of the rest of them, until now.

“Yeah?” She replied gently, her voice softer than you’d ever heard it before, prompting your heart to skip a beat as you carefully turned to face her half-way, now laying on your back so you could affectionately connect your forehead to her’s.

“I - I love you,” you answered timidly, your voice briefly trembling, and she couldn’t help, but smile softly down at you, her eyes glinting a little in the best way possible whilst blood rushed up to your cheeks, and your heart pounded against your rib-cage - god, that word felt so good, especially when you were directing it at her.

“I know,” she cooed even softer than before, only making you feel lighter and fuzzier than you had ever felt before as you warily glanced down at her lips, and wondered if it would be okay if you leaned forward just a bit, and kissed them again, but you would hastily stop yourself just as fast as the thought had materialised, not wanting to do it without asking her permission to do so.

“And I’m sorry,” you replied, your voice barely audible, and she would frown, before hastily shaking her head, and lifting her right hand up to your left cheek; she didn’t want you to feel like you had to apologise to her for what the nightmare had done to you, especially when she knew about how your father had treated you, before, as well as about the situation at hand beyond the walls of the Survivors’ base; the effect either factor could have sprung upon you as a result of your nightmare a brief moment ago.

“No, Y/n, don’t apologise,” she contradicted, and you would appear taken aback; you couldn’t just let it slide that you’d snapped at her like that, and it hurt you even more to see that she was trying to defend your previous actions, “it’s fine, I promise, I - I get it, I really do, I-”

“No, Ember, it - it’s not fine,” you interrupted dejectedly, as well as determinedly, and she would frown, before making to shake her head, but you would continue, before she could protest any further than she had already tried to do so, “you - you should hate me; you-.. you should hurt me, for acting like that, I - I can’t-.. it hurts, okay? And you need to make it hurt more because I know I hurt you, a-and I just can’t live with that, so - so please do something, anything, to make me pay for it - I’ll let you, I swear-”

Embry appeared bewildered by your request; she couldn’t believe you’d ask her to do something like that, to you, and it only made her blood boil more to assume that your father had made you like this; he’d implanted the notion that you should be beaten for any (even small) wrongdoings within you, and she couldn’t bear to see it take over you the way it currently was, tears clouding her own vision, now, as she tried desperately to calm you down within her embrace.

“Y/n, no, stop-”

You struggled within her embrace, allowing you to reach for your own gun, and for a moment she appeared startled, wondering what you were going to do with it, until you sat up, and offered it to her.

“Please,” you begged tearfully, and the pain within your voice was enough to make her heart feel as if it were breaking all over again, the way it did the day she’d lost her ex, Cynthia, “just-.. do it, a-and I’ll be happy, I swear-”

“A-Are you crazy? I can’t hurt you like that, I-”

“Do it,” you continued, “please, Embry; I’d even let you kill me, if I hurt you - I’d let you do anything, I-..”

Embry sighed heavily, before carefully taking your gun from you; she’d noticed you’d clicked the safety off, you warily eyeing it within her hands as you wondered when she’d strike you, or even shoot you, but she could never allow herself to hurt you like that, especially not when you’d never done anything to hurt her, and she trusted you more than enough to know as well as hope that you never would, no matter what. For a moment, as she lifted the gun a little over the right side of the bed, just enough so that it was dangling above the floor below it, you found yourself looking through a younger you’s terrified eyes as your father drunkenly lifted up a unplugged lamp above your head, leaving your heart racing uncomfortably as you wondered if it were about to fail you, entirely, even before he could throw it, until he did, and you managed to find enough strength within you to jump out of the way, and scramble to your feet, allowing you to sprint toward the staircase of your parent’s home whilst he shouted: ‘get out of my life’ behind you, but Embry would never abuse you like he did, as she flicked the safety back onto your gun, before dropping it to the ground.

You both lingered where you were for a moment, your gazes never breaking away from each other, before you caved in, and threw your arms around her, breaking down against her left shoulder; you didn’t know what to do with yourself, anymore, not without her. She met your embrace instantly, rubbing your back whilst you sobbed uncontrollably against her vest strap, and skin; she couldn’t scold you, not wanting to upset you anymore than she could see she had, as she delicately lifted her left hand up to the back of your head - she just hoped that maybe the nightmares would leave you soon, especially with your and her fast approaching makeshift wedding coming up the way it was, recently, but nothing seemed to change after that night - you’d always be tormented by your past, no matter how much Embry and her friends tried to distract you, at least - that was what you believed, until the break-in had taken place.

🜸🜚🜸

You were terrified, that night, and not just because of the Skin-eaters that had successfully entered the base, but because you thought you were losing Embry. It wasn’t long, before you’d started fighting, recently, and it was painful; your heart hadn’t stopped aching, the first time you’d started arguing with one another - you couldn’t bear it; couldn’t handle the fact that you’d messed up with her again, and you just wished she’d give up on you. Though she tried to hide it, you could tell you’d hurt her again; she seemed more quiet, than usual, a few hours before the break-in happened.

You were laying side-by-side, her eyes - glossier than usual - staring blankly up at the ceiling whilst you timidly glanced over at her, trying to find the right words to say to try and make things hurt less, somehow, but nothing came to mind; you knew she’d never forgive you, or rather assumed she wouldn’t, after what you’d said to her, so instead you begrudgingly looked away again, trying hard not to sniffle whilst your bottom lip trembled - it felt so wrong, to just be laying beside her like this, not saying a word to her, hugging her, or kissing her, but you didn’t know what else to do; this was all your fault, anyway, she had every right to be mad at you.

It almost happened, then; a strained sob tried to escape your lips, only for you to manage to swallow most of it back, leaving only a tiny, broken sound behind, one that almost brought Embry down alongside it as she tensed up upon hearing it, wishing she could try and pull her heart out of her chest if it meant it would stop it from paining her the way it was, now, but at the same time she never wanted to stop feeling the love she held for you, as well as the love you held for her, even after all you’d both said to each other earlier. You tightly shut your eyes, trying to hold the tears in, your fingers shaking a little whilst you fidgeted with them, until you couldn’t take it anymore, warily inching closer to her, and making to intertwine the fingers of your right hand with the soft fingers of her left one, and for a moment she seemed to stop breathing, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she felt your hand holding her’s, but the blissful second didn’t last long, as she awkwardly cleared her throat, before removing her hand from your’s carefully without hurting you physically by doing so.

You didn’t know why she bothered; it still hurt you more than anything ever had before inside, a crestfallen expression on your face whilst she turned to face you, your eyes darker than she’d ever seen them, only making her feel worse for what she’d just done, but she wanted to try and make things right before you both went back to the way you usually were together, until-

“I think we should break up,” you uttered in a voice close to a weak whisper, whilst she said alongside you ‘I think we should cancel the engagement’, and you both froze together for a moment, not sure what to do or say anymore as you dejectedly glanced over at one another, before Embry - once she’d somehow managed to recover some of herself following your unexpected suggestion - subconsciously scooted away from you, a hurt look on her face; she never thought you’d want to break up with her completely like that, especially after you and her had had one fight, earlier, ever since you’d officially got engaged to each other. “Ember,” you began again feebly, but she wouldn’t have it, hastily shaking her head as she narrowed her eyes skeptically over at you, and the look was enough to break you almost completely, leaving what felt like only a few more small pieces of your heart within your chest, but you guessed you only had yourself to blame for that, as usual, as you sat up alongside her, and tried to hold what remained of yourself together for her, somehow, only for her to begin again before you could say anything further to her regarding your decision, only breaking you down even more.

“You - You want to break up with me? Over this?” She questioned, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing your head; it wasn’t like you wanted to, but you felt as if she’d never be happy, if you didn’t let go of her, now - she deserved so much better, and it broke you to see her suffering because of you, no matter how much you loved her, and wished you could do everything to make her happy again. “Y/n-”

“I can’t do it anymore, Ember,” you uttered, and she would shake her head subconsciously; she couldn’t believe this was happening, still, and wished that maybe this were just a nightmare, but pinching her arm without you noticing didn’t seem to do anything, no matter how much she longed to wake up, and hold you close to her tightly whilst she cooed sweet nothings to you, “I - I just-.. I can’t, okay? I-.. y-yeah, we - we should-..”

She couldn’t help, but grimace down at her hands, cursing the small tears that leaked from her eyes, before they dripped down to her fingers, and she felt empty all over again, the way she felt the day she’d lost Cynthia to one of the Skin-eaters a few weeks or so back.

“Fine,” she murmured, though she hated herself for doing so, “you-.. you feel that way, so-.. maybe you’re right; I’ll tell the others the wedding’s off, but-..” You warily glanced up at her, and she would falter upon noticing the tears in your eyes, before hastily looking away; she couldn’t let you phase her, not now, if you really felt it would be the best thing for you and her to split, even after all you’d both been through together, if only she knew how you really felt, right now. She reluctantly slid the ring you’d stolen for her off of her finger, and watching her do so was like a wound being opened up in itself; like a knife was being stabbed deep within your chest, but you were used to the pain, now, bowing your head alongside her whilst she tearfully stared down at the ring for a moment, before she carefully set it down beside you, and smiled faintly over at you as if nothing had just happened between you both; as if the switch had happened easily, before she got up off of the bed, and you glanced down at the ring. “I want you to keep them; the - the rings,” she admitted in a voice close to a whisper, and it only pained you even more to hear that she was trying not to cry, alongside you, “I-.. just so you know that I-.. I love you, and I always will, no matter what happens, I-..” She winced, fighting back the tears again to the best of her ability whilst she faintly cleared her throat, as if she were trying to swallow back a lump, like you currently were, unbeknownst to her. “You’ll remember, right? That-.. y’know?” She inquired, and you would hesitate, before nodding gravely, and forcing a smile up at her, though she could see through the façade the pain you were trying to handle, alongside her, and it was unbearable to think that maybe you were in just as much as pain as she currently was, even when you’d suggested that maybe - instead of cancelling the engagement - you and her should break up, only tearing her apart inside even more.

What if you did still love her, regardless? Why would you be hiding that from her? So many questions like these were flooding her mind as she dragged herself over to the metal sliding door a few paces behind her; she didn’t want to question you, especially not during times like these, so instead she tried to tell herself that maybe it was for the best, that your and her relationship come to an end - who knows what heart-break could preside if ever you lost her, or she lost you? There were still monsters out there; the Apocalypse was still at its peak, and she guessed it was time to face it whole-heartedly, no matter how much it pained her to do so.

“Ember,” you managed weakly, and she would falter before the door, her heart skipping a beat - you’d never stop having that effect on her, and it was painful to the point that she wished she could just tear her own heart out; wished she could just stop feeling, especially now, but your voice had a way of ensnaring her that she couldn’t explain, prompting her to hesitate, before she timidly glanced back at you, and replied barely audibly with a gentle ‘yeah?’, only making you feel worse inside as you wished she’d just hate you, now; wished she’d walk out, and slam the door behind her (not that you could really do anything like that with the doors they had, here), your heart sinking. “I-..” You tensed up, your voice smaller than she’d ever heard it before as she silently begged you to tell her the truth; silently begged you to tell her to stay, the way she knew she would, even after all that had happened between you both today. “Nevermind, it-.. it’s nothing, I just-.. take care of yourself, okay?” You murmured, staring down at your fingers again, and she would frown, before nodding, and returning the phrase, before she dragged herself out, and began to feel lost again.

🜚

Every step Embry took felt heavier than they’d ever been, before. She couldn’t stop thinking about you; your voice, smile, eyes, and how they’d lost their sparkle as soon as you’d suggested that she and you should break up, completely. It broke you, as well as her; she could see it, but why would you even make such a decision if you still felt the same way for her? She faltered, hearing Alexa’s voice nearby, her legs failing her as her friend turned the corner, and for a moment she felt everything within her tensing up; things were getting harder for her to hold together, but she was desperate to try, until Alexa noticed her, and smiled brightly in her direction.

It took four words. Just four, to break her down completely. Alexa didn’t know - at the time - why her friend had reacted the way she had, still under the impression that things were okay between you and her, but as soon as she’d asked the question, she wished she could take it back, for Embry’s sake.

“Ready for the wedding?” Alexa chimed, and Embry would falter, her heart stopping for a moment as everything around her seemed to collapse, slowing down as if some secret capsule within her had been breached; as if her system were shutting down completely, until she couldn’t take it anymore, her face contorting as she began to cry, before she rushed toward Alexa, and threw her arms around her.

🜸

‘Why should I care if you’re crying!?’ Your father boomed, like a distant, but powerful memory playing on repeat in your head, and you fought back the urge to lift your hands up to your ears, like you remembered you would when you were younger. ‘You did this to yourself!’ He continued in your head, as you subconsciously curled up upon Embry’s bed, your arms wrapped tightly around your legs whilst you whimpered quietly, and tightly shut your eyes. ‘You’re nothing, but a burden!’ You squeezed your hands tighter, the ring Embry had left you creating a faint indent within your palm as you tried not to sob, and cry out for her, no matter how much you longed to feel her arms around you again, as if you’d not just sent her away the way you had a brief moment ago, just because you felt as if maybe she’d be happier, if you freed her from your ‘burden’ of an existence.

You thought the insults had stopped, when you sat up, your eyes red, and still wet from your previous crying session, but they only seemed to get worse, breaking you down even more than they already had, before.

‘You’re a freak,’ he spat in your head, and you cursed shakily in a voice close to a whisper, ‘just like your mother was, before I got rid of her.’

That one hurt even more, especially when it reminded you of what happened the night your father came home, red-faced, and drunker than you’d ever seen him before. You couldn’t take it anymore - you hastily got up, and rushed out of the room, never letting the ring slip from your right hand, until you noticed Embry and Alexa hugging in the corridor.

🜸

“The wedding,” Embry began weakly, once she felt able to glance up at her friend, “it’s off-.. Y/n, she-.. she-”

The sound of her ring dropping startled the both of them as Embry hastily turned to face you, whilst Alexa jumped, before looking over at you, and subconsciously grimacing whilst she wondered why you’d drop Embry the way you had, and so soon before your and her wedding could have taken place.

“Ember,” you managed timidly; barely audibly, and Embry would falter, awkwardly glancing down at the ground whilst you shuffled painfully on the spot, not sure what to do or say anymore that could try and make things better, so instead you crouched down to pick up the ring, before you made to enter your own room, only hurting her even more whilst Alexa scowled, and shook her head; she couldn’t believe you’d do that to her friend.

“Why don’t you just leave?”Alexa spat, and you would falter, your heart dropping in an instant whilst you lingered before the door to your room, a hurt look on your face.

“I don’t know where else to go,” you admitted dejectedly; truthfully, before warily glancing over at them both again whilst Embry appeared to tense up, trying not to glare over at Alexa for snapping at you the way she had a brief moment ago.

“That’s not a problem,” she retorted, “you can just go anywhere, that isn’t here - how about that?”

“Alexa,” Embry replied weakly, “stop-”

“She hurt you,” Alexa interjected defensively, but Embry would hastily shake her head; she couldn’t let her friend scold you the way she was, even after what had previously happened between you both not too long ago, now, “don’t you remember what I told you, Embry? If she ever hurt you, I’d-”

“She never hurt me,” Embry contradicted a little more confidently, her voice a little firmer, though you couldn’t imagine why she’d want to defend you after you’d both recently broke up the way you had, “quit it already-”

“But-”

“Stop!” She hissed, and Alexa would appear taken aback, a pained expression on her face; Embry had never snapped at her before the way she just did, but she guessed she understood, especially after what you’d both recently been through, earlier.

“Okay,” she responded, defeated, and Embry would express relief, before smiling apologetically over at you, and then leading her friend away, but you didn’t feel any better, drawing in a shaky breath, before you pushed yourself into your room, and wished you could have had strength enough to muster up a more convincing smile back at Embry, but you guessed you’d never have the strength you needed to do anything anymore, now that you’d lost her.

🜚

Later that very night, you were sat heavily against the wall of your bathroom, listening to distant screeches of Skin-eaters, whilst blood trailed slowly down your arms from where you’d left small cuts along them - as many as you possibly could, just because you felt as if you deserved it, as well as hoped - at the same time - that maybe the bleeding would take you away from here; would completely rid Embry of your burdening existence, as long as she didn’t find you here, though you hoped that - maybe - she’d be happy to see you gone, if ever she did, somehow.

You smiled weakly up at the ceiling at the thought of her, thinking about her smile again; you’d never seen someone so beautiful, and it only made your heart drop again to think that you’d turned her down; to think that - now - you’d never be able to see her in a wedding dress, standing opposite you with a sheepish grin, but you guessed there was nothing you could do about that, now, not that you intended to try and win her back, knowing you’d never be able to make her as happy as you longed to, and had ever since you’d first met, and fallen hopelessly in love with her.

Just as you began to feel heavy; as your eyelids began to close, you thought you heard something - a scream, after a faint explosion. You couldn’t tell; your ears were full of pulsing, and you could hardly hear anything else, but that distinctive sound. It would have felt peaceful, if you didn’t hear the next crash, a lot louder than the last had been, followed by an even more familiar shout - Embry. Your eyes snapped open, and things grew clearer than they’d ever been before, even after what you’d previously done to yourself. You anxiously looked around, as if you expected to find her in the room with you, only leaving you feeling emptier once you’d established that you were alone, but you couldn’t leave what you’d heard unnoticed, especially when Embry could be in trouble, like you feared she was.

🜚

“When did this happen? How did this happen? What the fuck, Embry?” Alexa questioned, whilst she and her friend walked slowly through the quieter hallways, Akaya trotting warily at her companion’s side.

Embry tensed up in response to her friend’s questions, her heart sinking with the passing of each one as she warily looked over at her, before bowing her head again, and clearing her throat, all whilst she was finding herself trying not to cave into her emotions again; tried not to let the small tears currently invading her eyes out, the way she had earlier, but it was too much to ask, clearly, to not feel anything after what she’d been through earlier, with your and her break-up, and fight - if only things could have been different, somehow; if only she could take back the time, and stop the fight from happening. If only she could have seen the danger, before it almost took you away from her.

🜸

By the time you’d managed to recompose yourself, you staggered out of the bathroom, your vision a little blurry again whilst blood pulsed in your ears - you were determined to protect Embry, no matter what the situation was beyond the door of your room, as you scrambled hastily to get to it, almost tripping over the leg of your bed in the process as you ran toward the sliding metal door, and pressed yourself to slip through it even before it could open fully. Nothing seemed unusual, at first, just a couple of soldiers running down the opposite hallway, but it didn’t take long for you to determine what was going on, especially not after a Skin-eater began to chase after them.

🜸

“She just said-.. said that we should break up, before I left,” Embry murmured dejectedly, her voice close to a whisper again whilst Alexa frowned, gently rubbing her friend’s back to try and provide comfort to her whilst she spoke, or just about managed to, “she said she couldn’t do it anymore, I don’t know why, o-or what she meant, but-.. I wasn’t about to argue with her over that, y’know? I couldn’t, I-.. you understand, right?”

“You love her too much to hurt her, even after she just hurt you,” Alexa mused, and Embry would falter, before nodding gravely, and glancing down at the ground again whilst she awkwardly tightened her grip upon her gun, afraid that she might soon break down again, or even find herself reaching a point that she knew she couldn’t be trusted holding it, for fear that she might turn it, and use it upon herself. She drew in a shaky breath, and made to continue; she wanted to defend you, to the best of her ability, regardless of what had recently happened between you both, but before she could, the first explosion happened, and all she could feel was her blood running cold again.

🜸

Once you’d retrieved your gun from your room, you ran through the hallways opposite to the one you’d seen the first Skin-eater going down - you weren’t about to get yourself killed, before you could ensure that Embry was safe, and sound, as well as somewhat happy even during a situation like this, though you felt stupid for thinking she would be when there was so much chaos suddenly going on around you both the way it was, now. Everyone you passed; every monster you saw, a new sense of dread took over you - you hadn’t run into Embry yet, so what if that meant she was already dead, or wounded?

No - you wouldn’t think about that; she was still alive, you could feel somewhere deep inside you that she was, and your heart seemed to slow down - god, that was a relief, as long as you kept telling yourself that everything would be okay, as soon as you found her, if only life didn’t insist on getting in the way of that.

🜸

Unfamiliar rogue-looking men and women began to jump into a hole they’d seemed to make in the ceiling of the base - one you all used to think as being impenetrable by any type of creature, until this moment in time, but Embry wouldn’t be phased, shooting as many as she could whenever they tried to attack her and Alexa as they warily as well as cautiously made their way through the base, determined to find you, as well as a way out, before the whole thing could explode the way they feared it would; it wasn’t the first time they’d encountered burnt down buildings and ex-bases around the area, so it didn’t exactly strike them as being unheard of that the base might soon come down at the hands of these rebels that had found their way in, somehow, for a reason currently unbeknownst to them.

“What do we do, Embry?” Alexa asked for what felt like the hundredth time, prompting Embry to roll her eyes whilst she tried to think; clear her head to the best of her ability - there was only one thing she knew, now, and that was the fact that she wasn’t leaving this place alive, if she didn’t find you soon.

“Just - be quiet, and let me think, okay?” She answered, trying not to snap at her friend; she couldn’t alert Skin-eaters or rogues to their location if she wanted this to go right, which she did, immensely, no matter what it meant for her, or her future, after today.

“But-”

“Alexa!” Embry hissed, and her friend would frown, before nodding gravely, and trying to stay quiet whilst her friend began to pace in short strides across the hallway they were currently perched within. Akaya whined quietly, feeling a little restless, herself, as her companion seemed to be struggling to hold herself together, and had been dismissing her as well as Alexa for ages, now, as if she were sure she could work this out on her own without their help, no matter how much she could do with it, right now, unable to stop thinking of you, and what they could be doing to you, if she didn’t find you soon.

Eventually, Alexa couldn’t stand seeing Embry like that anymore as she lifted her left hand to gently rest it upon her friend’s right shoulder, prompting her to falter, and tense up beneath her touch a little whilst she stopped in place, and kept her head low, trying to hide that tears were steadily clouding her vision; she’d never be able to forgive herself, if she didn’t find you, and get you away from here now, and that was terrifying to her, but she didn’t know what to do with herself anymore, her mind more clouded than it had ever been before by thoughts of you, and what she wished she could tell you, right now, before the whole world could go to hell the way it was close to doing, the way things were going.

“Embry, stop, and relax here a minute,” Alexa suggested gently, and Embry would scoff, before shooting a glare back at Alexa; she didn’t want to be told what she knew would never make a difference, the way she wanted it to, “Y/n’s gonna be okay, I promise-”

That did it for her. She drew back from Alexa’s hand, before practically slapping it away from her before her friend could try and embrace her again; she wouldn’t accept blatant lies, either, especially not during times like these; not after the things she’d already had to witness, even before the Apocalypse had started.

“She won’t be okay, until we get to her,” Embry retorted harshly, “it’s not like she’s here, right now; we don’t know where she is, and we’ve been looking for ages, now, only to find more of those assholes, instead of her-”

“It’s not even been ten minutes, yet,” Alexa reminded her, but for Embry it was beginning to feel like the most painful of lifetimes combined into one singular hell-scape, “look.” She sighed heavily, whilst holding Embry at arm’s length. “You’re right, okay? Maybe she isn’t okay; maybe she’s already been wounded, or even-.. but - there’s - there’s nothing we can do about it, now-”

“Alexa,” Embry uttered dangerously, but her friend wouldn’t let her protest for much longer, continuing hastily, in a strangely soft voice: ‘it’s true.’

“I’m sorry, Ember,” she added a little more sympathetically, “but you know this better than anyone; sometimes life just-.. takes things that mean the most to you away without a thought, and-.. if that is the case with Y/n, we-.. we can only do what we know, and that’s fight, or run, right?” Embry hesitated, her bottom lip shaking a little whilst she tried to fight the tears back, her heart aching excruciatingly at the possibility of losing you all over again, just like she’d lost Cynthia, before she nodded timidly, and looked away from her friend again whilst Akaya gently licked at her companion’s left palm, at least soothing her just a little, until Alexa spoke up again, making her feel emptier than she’d ever felt before. “So what are we gonna do?” She inquired, raising her eyebrows a little whilst she gently squeezed her friend’s shoulders, just light enough to try and keep her together somehow, but in truth all Embry wanted to do was break down, and give up on the last thread she had left within her, whenever she thought about how after today, she might never see you again, all because of the Skin-eaters and rogue rebels that had broken into the Survivors’ base.

“We’re going to fight,” Embry decided, her voice harder than it had ever been before whilst she swallowed back the lump that had formed within her throat, her eyes full of the hatred she held for the invaders, and before Alexa could try and dissuade her, she picked her gun back up, before glancing back at her friend, “are you with me, or are you gonna find a way out of here?”

Alexa sighed heavily, before she warily glanced back toward the opposite end of the hallway, hearing another familiar and painful scream.

“Okay,” she uttered, her voice full (somewhat?) of a new determination Embry had never seen within her before, “if we’re gonna play it that way-” As she reloads her own gun. “I’m with you,” she stated confidently, “so show me the way, before I change my mind, and decide to blow this joint.” Embry would appear taken aback, but only for a moment, before she nodded, her eyes glinting a little, and turned sharply toward the end of the hallway they’d been hiding within - if there was anywhere they had a chance of finding you, she was certain it was through the sliding doors before her, so she may as well start there, right?

🜸

You’d been making pretty good progress through the base, before you’d run into Pedro. Smug, as usual, despite the situation at hand, he shoved you back as soon as you’d bumped into him, too distracted to pay attention to what was before you as you desperately found yourself looking around for Embry, expecting to see her down every hallway you passed, only to be excruciatingly disappointed each time, destroying the last remains of the hope you were still somehow holding onto that she was alive, though each second seemed to bring on a new challenge that broke you down more and more no matter how many threats you managed to take down single-handedly.

“What the hell are you doing out here, puppet-master?” He questioned, threateningly backing you against the wall behind you; he’d been calling you ‘puppet-master’ ever since he’d caught wind of you being associated with the man behind the Apocalypse itself, and hearing it again only made your blood boil even more; you hated being reminded that you were your father’s daughter, and therefore blamed partly for the ongoing destruction of the world as it was known, before.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” you hissed, whilst your hands balled into fists at your sides, “I wasn’t the one who started this, in the first place - it was all him, not me-”

“Then maybe you should have thought about that, before you began telling people you thought wouldn’t squeal,” he interjected indifferently; dismissively, whilst you tried not to punch him in the face, no matter how much you longed to hit him across the head with your gun - though he was one of the stupidest people you’d ever met, as well as blatantly evil and misogynistic, even you knew that as many soldiers that could be got were needed if there were to be any remaining chances of survival left - well, that was if you found Embry; you’d never be able to find within you the will to live, if you didn’t find her soon. “Just go back to your room, liability,” he continued, “yeah, you should just stay inside there; it’s better for everyone, else we’ll all die if you’re still out here, thinking you’re helping when all you’re doing is the exact opposite of that.”

“I can do what I want, Pedro,” you retorted sharply, undeterred by him trying to intimidate you, standing above you the way that he pathetically was, now, “you haven’t broken me the way you thought you did, when you raped me.”

“Did I ask if I did?” He questioned, and you would scowl up at him, your eyes full of hate; it was so hard to not knock him on his ass after what he did to you, but you had just about enough restraint left within you to hold yourself back from doing so, reminding yourself of Embry, and how you still had yet to find her within the base, only prompting your heart to sink again as you tried to hide that the reminder had pained you the way it had.

“No, but I just wanted you to hear it; to know that you’ll never hurt me, no matter what you do, or how hard you try to do so,” you answered genuinely, your voice briefly trembling whilst you tried desperately not to think about Embry possibly laying in a puddle of blood, whilst you were stuck here trying to deal with this time-wasting asshole, “you’re too weak to hurt people like me; it should be me that you’re scared of, and not the other way around, so you better keep that in mind before you decide to try and force yourself on anyone else, the way you forced yourself on me, got that?”

He scowled, this time making to shove you, but you managed to push him away before he could try anything - now was not the time to get into a full-on fight, though, you knew that much, as you meandered around him, before taking off down the corridor ahead of you, determined to find Embry, no matter what it meant for your future after today. However, along the way, you never thought you’d be intercepted by an ambush of the rebels themselves.

🜸

Embry didn’t hesitate to burst through the doors; they’d always been weak, despite their purpose; that’s why you’d both come down here in the first place on your birthday, because it was a room hardly used by the others. She faltered in place for a moment, her gaze landing upon the table you’d both sat at, before she glanced up at the counter-top where you’d been the one to kiss her first the first time you’d ever managed to, and felt confident enough to do so. The memories made her heart sink; if you really felt it was best for you and her to be apart, then that meant you’d never be able to make such memories together ever again, and that only disheartened her even more as her eyes darkened, and frame seemed to sink a little whilst Alexa and Akaya entered the room behind her, warily looking around as if expecting to either find you inside, or a Skin-eater - they found neither.

“Shit,” Alexa whispered, “she’s not here - where do you think we should try, next? As long as we can get there, obviously-”

“I don’t know,” Embry uttered, and Alexa would fall quiet beside her, worriedly looking over at her friend whilst Akaya tensed up, sensing something or someone within the room as she began to growl quietly, attracting Alexa’s attention first, before Embry’s head shot up as soon as Akaya bolted toward the space behind the opposite countertop. “Kaya, stop!” She cried, but her companion wouldn’t listen, barking furiously at the presence, before the rebel-looking man got up, sounded out a pathetic cry, and climbed up onto the countertop before Akaya could bite at his side.

“Who the fuck are you, and why are you here?” Alexa questioned, raising up her gun whilst she did to aim it at the man’s head whilst he winced, shuffling awkwardly on his feet whilst Akaya tried still to get at them, making it harder for him to hold onto the supplies he’d been stealing from the room. Things like leftover packets of sugar, cans of fruits, and vegetables - there wasn’t much left in here; it was a wonder Embry had found enough to bake you a birthday cake, but then again that was probably why it was so scarce regarding supplies, now.

“I’m not telling you shit,” the man spat, and Alexa raised her eyebrows, before gesticulating for Embry to do something about him, prompting her friend to click the safety off of her gun, before she unexpectedly fired a shot at the man’s feet, prompting him to yelp, before another can dropped from his arms - she only hoped the Skin-eaters weren’t attracted by the noise coming from within the room, though it wasn’t as much them that she was worried about, now, especially not when you were in trouble, and the rebels couldn’t just be there to steal from them - could they?

She tried not to dwell on it too much, firing another shot, before another can fell to the ground, and she subconsciously winced.

“The supplies,” Alexa continued, sensing her friend’s discomfort beside her, “put them down, and hold your hands up.”

“I don’t have to do as you say,” he retorted, “I don’t have to listen to you; you aren’t the leaders here-”

“You’ll do it, if you want your head to stay on,” Embry interrupted dangerously, whilst adding in a couple more rounds that she had spare in her right pocket, “or am I gonna have to fire even closer?” She raised the gun even more, this time aiming it just above his left shoulder, but she was certain that she’d be able to graze him, if she fired now. “Three seconds to put them down,” she stated, “one, two-”

“Okay!” He cracked, his voice a little more shaky; he evidently could tell that the next round would hurt him, and that was something he’d never felt before, leaving him secretly petrified - well, in front of his friends, anyway, not that they were around anymore, after the Apocalypse had officially begun. “Okay, Jesus, I - I’m putting them down now, okay? Just-” She couldn’t help it, pressing down upon the trigger just enough to fire one more round, just because she felt like wounding him for being a part of the mess that was going on within the base right now, exactly when it wasn’t needed to be initiated during times like these anyway. “Fuck-!” He hissed, gritting his teeth at the pain as it seared through his shoulder, a blood stain beginning to show through his t-shirt where the bullet had grazed him, exactly where she thought it would. She wondered what you’d say, and her heart dropped again, but she couldn’t let it phase her as she drew in a barely audible sharp breath, the sound of the last of his supplies clattering to the ground alerting her all over again as she silently cursed, before looking warily back toward the door, only to be met by Alexa gently shoving her.

“What the fuck, Embry? You’re gonna get us killed-”

“It’s what he deserves,” she retorted, her voice full of hate, more than Alexa had ever heard from her before, something that even scared her a little; she’d never expected this from Embry, even after what she’d been through, losing Cynthia, and then - supposedly - you, not too long after her, “and it got him to drop the supplies anyway, so.”

She shrugged indifferently, trying to hide that she was mad at herself for losing control like that, something that could have now put her, Alexa, Akaya, as well as you in even more danger, now that she had done what she had to him, but at the same time she couldn’t help, but feel good for hurting him the way she had - they had no right to be doing what they were doing, invading the base, and letting Skin-eaters in the way that they were, even though rules were long gone at this point, now that most of the civilisation here had gone to hell shortly after the Apocalypse had started the way it did.

“But-”

“Answer her question, why are you here?” Embry insisted, and Alexa would grunt beside her, evidently infuriated by how she had been interrupted by her friend the way she had, but she guessed there was no time to argue with her right now so instead she forced a smile, and glared back at the intruder.

“You’re a monster,” he spat at Embry, and she grimaced over at him, wondering if it would be worth her shooting another round, except this time it would land and embed itself within his skull, but she just about stopped herself, even before Alexa lowered her gun for her, whilst still managing to keep her own tracking him somehow.

“Granted,” she uttered dismissively, “but that’s not the answer - why are you here? It can’t just be for supplies, because you could’ve joined us, or we’d have given you some regardless, as long as you treated us with respect, and we you, so why? Why would you and your idiot friends do something like this when there are other options - better ones, even? You didn’t have to steal anything; I don’t get it-”

The man scoffed, before chuckling a little menacingly, as well as weakly, a new glint in his eyes that told her exactly what she’d been fearing; they were here for something else, or someone, but she couldn’t imagine why - what could they possibly want from them when they already have everything they could possibly get their hands on, before the Apocalypse had even officially started?

“That’s because this isn’t a supply run,” he began, still clutching his wounded shoulder whilst Embry and Alexa subconsciously clung anxiously to every word, Akaya now back at their sides, “it’s a kidnapping.”

🜸

You’d hardly got much of a look at them, before you were flung back by another explosion, your head pranging whilst your ears rung, your vision blurry even before you’d hit the ground; even before your head had roughly collided with it. Small tears clouded your vision whilst you began to feel lost again, blankly staring up at the ceiling for a moment whilst you tried to regain feeling within your legs and arms, until one of the figures were standing above you, grinning menacingly down at your limp body whilst you whimpered barely audibly, trying to close your fingers around your gun again, only for it to be kicked away from you by another of the rebels. This was going to be harder than you thought it would be, you realised, before a gun was brought down upon you, and everything went black again.

🜸

“A kidnapping?” Embry choked out, though her voice was threatening to fail her; neither of them knew yet that the group were here for you, but she couldn’t help, but acknowledge the bad feeling she was currently experiencing as a result of his revelation. She also couldn’t stop herself as she pictured you curled up, scared, a pained expression on her face whilst she tried to stop herself from pulling the trigger again, no matter how much she longed to finally kill him for what he’d done to the base and her friends, especially during times like these.

The man grinned, before nodding, and carefully easing himself off of the countertop whilst Embry glared daggers over at him, her gun following his every move alongside Alexa’s, Akaya whining quietly whilst she brushed against her companion’s side, sensing her discomfort again, but Embry couldn’t let herself get distracted, desperate to try and stay strong for you, no matter what the cost of such an action could be after today. Even after you and her had fought, as well as broken up, the way that you did, she would never let anything happen to you - she only hoped that, not sure yet where you currently were, she and Alexa weren’t too yet to save you, before the others could plant bullets in you the way she feared they would.

“That’s right,” he answered, “a kidnapping; we’re here for the girl, but-.. you probably already knew that.”

Alexa warily glanced over at Embry; she, too, was beginning to feel the same dread her friend was currently in a battle with, but Embry didn’t dare look back at her, focusing her gaze ahead of her though she longed to pry it away; longed to snap at Alexa and tell her that you’d be okay; that Embry wouldn’t let anyone take you, except so many doubts were beginning to encompass her to the point that she couldn’t hold back the tears beginning to form in her eyes anymore.

“You’re here for a girl? One of our soldiers, or-?” Alexa pried, and the man would sigh, as if he were already bored of explaining the group’s intentions here, not that she or Embry could give a shit right now about the way he was currently feeling. “‘Cause there aren’t any girls, here; women, yes, but no girls, I’m afraid-”

“You know what I meant,” he retorted sharply, “now, aren’t you two gonna ask me the even more important question at hand, here?” They stood quietly, Alexa trying not to glance over at Embry again whilst her friend but down upon her tongue; she wouldn’t play his game, but at the same time it struck her to think that by doing so, she’d at least know what she and her friends were up against, even if she could already feel that her fears were true; that they were being executed, already, and that she and Alexa were wasting precious time, but she couldn’t find it within her to move; to even stop the question from slipping from her lips, but it was something she needed to hear, no matter how much it broke her:

“Who?” She blurted out, her voice weak, and close to a whisper, whilst Alexa appeared taken aback by her friend’s voice, but it didn’t take long for her to lose faith all over again as another explosion rang out down the hall, before a Skin-eater appeared at the door opposite the two, behind the man, and Alexa rushed Embry and Akaya outside again before he could even tell her the truth; before your name could slip from his lips, but she guessed it didn’t come as a surprise to her as soon as she’d read them, and was turned around to find yet another monster stood a few paces away from the group.

🜸

You were barely conscious, as the rebels dragged you through the hallways, your vision blurry, and head still pranging whilst a warm liquid seemed to cake most of your hair, leaving a trail behind you of what looked like blood, but you couldn’t find it within you to fight anymore. As long as they were here for you, the way you hoped they were, Embry would be safe. You smiled weakly up at the ceiling, silently willing Embry to survive, the way you knew she could without you, no matter how much it hurt you to think you’d never see her again, after today.

A sharp pang hit your heart, then, as your eyes darkened, and smile faded. The thought of never being able to see her, or even never being able to hear her voice again was something more painful than anything you’d ever encountered before. Small tears clouded your vision, but you wouldn’t dare let them see the hurt you were currently experiencing as you blinked them back rapidly, and tried to hold yourself together, but it wasn’t for you, it was for her; everything you’d ever done ever since you’d first met her had been for her.

You dug your right hand into one of your jeans’ pockets, expressing relief as soon as you felt that the rings were still inside it, before you tightened your hand around them, and hoped more than anything that it would strengthen her, though you knew that such a thing would never be possible, no matter how much you wished it could be. You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, for the first time wondering where they would take you, and how long it would take, before they finally ended your life, but you knew that was something you’d probably never find out, until one of them held a gun to your head again.

🜸

The monster’s eyes were full of greed; hunger, shining dangerously as it keenly looked over its prey, fangs growing, and claws extending beneath it - Embry wondered who this person was, before they were turned, the thought making her heart sink as she silently cursed your father again for all that he’d done to the world as she’d known it, before. Maybe they had a family, or maybe they lived alone; maybe they had a job, didn’t, or were meant to still be in full-time education, before the Apocalypse had hit. It was awful, what the world had become, now, even though it hadn’t even been for a few months that the Skin-eaters had become the new rulers of this new kingdom.

“Embry?” Alexa uttered, breathless; her voice full of urgency, as well as anxiety, and desperation as her friend managed to pull herself out of the brief trance she’d been in, lifting up her gun, and firing a round into the creature’s skull, though it only made her feel even more guilty to do so as it screeched in pain, before it collapsed to the ground, skin wrinkled, and darkening horribly as if it were rotting, though she’d only just embedded the bullet within it a brief moment ago, causing it instantly to shrivel up as if it were nothing now, but a molecule of trash to be discarded not too long after it had been born.

Her eyes darkened; she’d never thought of the Skin-eaters in that way, not after she’d met you, and seen what happened to Erica through her very own eyes the night you’d revealed to her about being your father’s daughter; family to the very man who’d created such destruction; such vermin into the world. She drew in a shaky breath, blinking back her hot and angry tears as she turned to Alexa, but before she could demand that they move on, another screech sounded out behind them, and before either of them had time to react, Akaya snarled, before she jumped up onto the approaching Skin-eater, and bit down into its shoulder, hard, only for the monster to grab onto her, before it lugged her at the wall, prompting her to yelp allowed as she writhed in agony upon the ground beneath her.

“Kaya!” Embry cried shakily, her blood boiling as she began to recompose herself, her previous thoughts diminishing to almost nothing as she raised her gun again, only to be distracted by a familiar, heart-wrenching scream down the end of the hallway behind her.

🜸

They did everything they could to hurt you, along the way. You’d struggled against them, they would kick you. You cried out feebly for help, they’d break a finger or two. You did nothing, but try to fight back your tears, they cut you wherever and whenever they could to make you bleed as much as possible. It would have been worse, you feared, if Embry hadn’t found you. However, you didn’t know how you felt about her locating you the way she did, after she’d successfully managed to take down the next Skin-eater before it could claw its way into Alexa, their way of consuming a body, and deeming it as theirs, before the victim began to change, themselves - you didn’t want her to see you like this, but at the same time, you couldn’t help, but appear faintly elated at the sight of her rushing toward the group, determination filling her gaze, until another rebel dropped down upon her from one of the open vent ducts, and you felt hopeless all over again.

She struggled as best she could, crying out your name, her eyes trained upon you and you only, and for the first time, she looked scared, prompting your heart to sink as small tears clouded your vision - you just wished you could cradle her close to you, your heart aching excruciatingly; you couldn’t help, but blame yourself for all of this, knowing that they were here because of your father; she would never have come for you, you tried to tell yourself, if you’d never let yourself get close to her, as well as never let her get close to you, no matter how much you loved her, and knew you always would, even if they did kill you, at the end of the day.

“Let her go!” Embry cried, her voice shaking, whilst still full of the hatred she held toward the group stood before her, but they didn’t dare release you, one of them smirking, before he stepped forward, and crouched down beside you; you wondered if they would break another of your fingers if you spat at him.

“Why?” He questioned, and Embry scowled over at him whilst you tried your best not to attempt to ball your hands into fists, knowing it would be impossible, and would hurt more than anything if you tried the way most of your fingers were, now - they delighted in your agony, and you guessed you couldn’t blame them, knowing what your father had done to the world as it was known, before. “Is she your friend, or-?” He pressed, and Embry would hesitate, a pained expression on her face; she longed more than anything to tell the truth - longed to tell them, as well as you, that she loved you, but at the same time she feared what they would do to you, if she did, no matter how much the words burned within her throat like a hot iron would pressed against skin, so instead she grimaced, before shaking her head, and trying her best not to break down then and there when she noticed the hurt look currently residing upon your face.

“No,” Embry answered firmly, surprising even the man that was crouched beside you, a pocket-knife in his right hand lingering close to your left cheek, even though it had already been cut a few times now, “but my father taught me that no matter what happens, you shouldn’t leave anyone behind to suffer, especially during times like these.”

“Right,” he replied cynically, before scoffing, and glancing up at the other rebels, before he looked back at her, and grinned menacingly again, “and you’re aware of what her father did with his time, before the world went to shit?”

“Yes,” she stated, without hesitation; she wouldn’t let you go down for his actions, no matter what, even after what had previously happened between you both a few hours ago, now, “but that’s-”

“You’re aware that he experimented on people, against their will?” He pried, and Embry couldn’t help, but scowl, her eyes flashing dangerously as she grimaced in his direction, and wished she could just reach for her gun again, and fire more than one round within the man crouched opposite her as well as you.

“I’m aware,” she uttered, unphased, “but that’s what he did; you’re saying so, yourself, so why her? W-Why her, and not him?”

“He’s dead,” another of the rebels spoke up, and you would falter, wincing, though you felt more relief than anything else at such a revelation; he’d spent your life abusing you, so what else was there to feel? You could only wonder how things would have been, if life wasn’t so cruel; if you’d had a normal, loving, and happy family.

A pained expression crossed your face again as you bowed your head, your eyes darkening whilst Embry frowned upon noticing the hurt look on your face; she only wished she could have killed him, herself, for your sake. Her heart sank alongside your’s, before she looked back over at the man beside you, scowling again as she tried not to let her gaze linger upon the small blade he was holding to your already bruised and partly blood-stained skin.

“Then why are you here for her? Why are you hurting her like this?” She questioned, and the man would raise his eyebrows, before shrugging, and grinning again over at her whilst Alexa hid with Akaya around the corner, listening to every word that was being said as long as she could hear it at least somewhat clearly underneath the screaming of her contemporaries - there were still Skin-eaters about, that much was clear, unless there were still some rebels going around and brutally murdering some of the Survivors without much thought before doing so.

She scowled at the thought, her grip upon her gun intensifying as she carefully laid Akaya down upon the ground beside her, making sure not to position her awkwardly on top of her wounded paw as she knew that a) doing so would only hurt her more, and b) she would make noise, and no matter how quiet it was, she feared it would only attract more monsters, as well as get the attention of the rebels that was not needed at all right now, unless… Alexa pressed her lips together thoughtfully, her eyebrows furrowing as she carefully peeked around the corner, wincing upon noticing the state you were in, as well as how Embry was being pinned down upon the ground, the rebel straddling her uncomfortably whilst they pressed their elbow against her neck to try and keep her from moving too much.

Maybe she could fire a shot, and it would distract them just enough to give Embry and you a chance of getting away from them? She just wondered if it would be better to try and take out one of the rebels, or if she should play it safe, and fire the round down the hallway opposite her.

“Why not?” The man replied, and Embry would scowl again, narrowing her eyes a little whilst she tried to hold herself together; tried not to struggle for fear of what they’d do to you, no matter how much she wanted to knock his teeth out for what he was doing to you. He was pressing the blade a little closer, now, you wincing and trying not to whimper as you felt the cold metal against your skin, biting down upon your tongue as it almost cut through the way the last daggers had, before this moment in time. “We didn’t get our chance with him, sure, but-.. we still have her, don’t we? She’s imperative,” he continued, “a threat; we can’t risk letting her go free - what if she only makes the situation worse? I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a diabolical plan cooking in her mind right now - you’re a liability, aren’t you, sunshine?”

You grimaced up at him, gritting your teeth, before you decided to speak up; you wouldn’t let his words slide, this time.

“Fuck you,” you spat, your voice weak, and a little raspy, prompting Embry’s heart to skip a beat as she glanced over at you, tensing up a little as her eyes began to cloud over with dread again; she knew he’d only hurt you for speaking to him like that, before he even grabbed your chin, and turned your face towards his harshly, ensuring that the blade definitely cut into your skin this time, but you tried not to let the pain show too much on your face, no matter how excruciating it was; how it burned to feel the blade digging deep into your cheek again, more than a foreign body like a splinter or even a small shard of glass ever could.

“What did you say to me?” He questioned, his voice harder now as you stared defiantly back at him, Embry shaking her head hastily all the while as she struggled subconsciously against the rebel above her, desperate to get to you, and free you somehow, before he could hurt you anymore than she could see he already had.

“I - I said,” you began again slowly, “fuck. You.”

He removed the blade, before slapping you across the face, prompting you to wince, and whimper barely audibly as you bowed your head for a moment, your eyes glossing over as your cheek began to sting, even more so with the fresh cut he’d given you.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” he spat, but you wouldn’t give in, only raising your head again to grin feebly in his direction as if this were all a game; you’d never let anyone intimidate you ever again, especially not after your father had already given you as much shit as he had.

“Go fuck yourself,” you retorted, and the room would fall quiet, before Embry managed to blurt out your name in a voice close to a shaky whisper, warning you to stop, but you couldn’t let the abuse you faced go anymore, especially not now that you knew your father was gone, and you felt at least somewhat free in response to such a revelation made by them.

“You’ll regret that-”

“No!” Embry cried as the man lifted the blade up above your head, before making to bring it down upon your neck, only for Alexa to fire her gun at him, prompting him to drop the blade before it could embed itself within you; before it could imminently end your life the way she feared it would, if she let him take such a dig at your body after all that had already been done to you thus far into the night.

As soon as he’d begun his collapse to the ground, clutching his neck whilst he spluttered up blood, Alexa revealed herself, lifting her gun up again to fire another round into the woman’s head, freeing Embry so she could retrieve her own gun, but not before one of the rebels could take hold of the man’s knife, and stab it into your back, prompting you to cry out in pain, before you desperately tried to remove it from your back, curling up upon the ground whilst you cried quietly, allowing yourself to break down as soon as the blade had been removed.

“Pick her up, quickly!” One of the rebels commanded, but Embry wouldn’t let them get to you as she clicked the safety off on her gun, and began to fire into the crowd, prompting some of them to curse, cry out in agony, whilst others began to flee before they could have rounds embedded into their skin, the way they’d dug their blades into you repeatedly before this moment in time.

Once they’d all gone, and Alexa had picked up Akaya again, Embry rushed over to you after downing her gun, before she cradled your body close to her, small tears running down her cheeks as she examined you, every cut she noticed upon your body only making her heart ache more than it ever had before; if she’d been here before, maybe she could have saved you. She tried to push the thought out of her head, more tears being shocked out of her eyes, but she tried her best to fight the remaining back as she didn’t want you to see that seeing you like this was hurting her more than anything else ever had before.

“It doesn’t hurt,” you whispered, as she drew her thumb gently over one of the cuts, your eyes glinting a little as you admired her subconsciously, even as the cut began to sting again, “n-none of this does, I swear, I-”

“Stop,” Embry choked out, her voice weak, and you would fall quiet, a pained expression on your face as she bowed her head hastily before the new tears could leak from the corners of her eyes, “don’t, you-.. don’t lie to me, please, not - not like this; not now, not ever, okay? Just don’t - promise me you won’t, please, even, otherwise I swear I’ll-.. I-..”

She shook a little, and you would frown, a pained expression on your face as you nodded slowly, wishing you could lift your hand up to her left cheek if only most of your fingers weren’t broken the way that they were, now.

“Okay,” you cooed gently, your voice barely audible as you tried to stay strong for her; tried to keep your eyes open, no matter how much they longed to shut, sleep sounding really appetising right now, almost as much as kissing her did, and had ever since you’d first met, and fallen deeply in love with her, “I’ll be honest, as-.. as long as you promise you’ll be honest with me, w-will you?”

Her head shot back up, her eyes narrowing a little as they locked with your’s, as if she couldn’t believe you were even asking her something like that.

“Always,” she answered, without hesitation, or even a thought, “Y/n, I-..” She faltered, her heart sinking again as her eyes darkened. “I could never lie to you,” she murmured dejectedly, the three words she longed to say burning in her throat again more than anything else ever had before; she never thought she’d have to hide them again the way she was, now, and that was terrifying, because now that you’d both recently confessed your love for each other, it was something more likely to be slipped from her lips even after you’d both broken up the way you had not too long ago, now.

You smiled sadly up at her, before averting your gaze away from her own whilst you tried to hide that her reluctance had hurt you almost as much as it had hurt her, though you understood why she’d done it, only having yourself to blame for the decision you’d made earlier.

“How bad do I look?” You inquired, just out of curiosity, knowing you’d taken a few blows by now even after you’d left a few cuts on your own even before the rebels had got to you.

Embry hesitated, raising her eyebrows as she affectionately connected her forehead to your own, as if she were trying to provide comfort to you somehow for a reason unbeknownst to you, though you couldn’t imagine why she’d even bother, after what had happened between you both earlier.

“Are you - Are you sure you even wanna know?” She asked, and you would appear taken aback, before smiling subconsciously in response to her question, a mischievous glint forming within your eyes despite the situation; she just seemed to have that effect on you - she made you see the best of things; made you feel warm and fuzzy, as if things weren’t on the verge of collapsing, the way they currently were, and you never wanted it to stop - this feeling you experienced whenever she was with you, the way she was, now, your eyes only darkening again when you remembered that you had bled out quite a bit, already - certainly more than normal, after all that they’d done to you, and all the cuts you’d made yourself previously, something she didn’t want to have to think about again, once she was sure you could all get out of here, and find somewhere new to hide from the rebels, as well as the Skin-eaters, no matter how far the remaining might have to travel to get to such a temporarily safe space.

“It’s that bad, huh?” You teased, and Embry would wince, before shaking her head hastily, but she couldn’t hide her fear and guilt as her face crumpled, and she began to break down as she held you even closer to her, prompting the smile to instantly falter as you heard a strained sob escape her lips, making you feel guilty as you cursed yourself internally for trying to joke during times like these.

“God, you - you couldn’t possibly be any worse,” she answered weakly, crying quietly into the crook of your neck whilst Alexa frowned, and tried to provide comfort to her friend by resting her right hand upon Embry’s left shoulder, but nothing could soothe her now - nothing, but knowing that you’d be okay could make her happy again as she held you at arm’s length for a moment, her face hard and stern again as her eyes locked with your’s as if she were interrogating you; cursing you for what you’d got yourself into, but you didn’t blame her, so instead you let her scold you for what you’d let them do to you, knowing she needed more than anything to do so right now, after what had previously happened to you, as well as her alongside you, “how stupid are you, exactly?”

You faltered, taken aback by the question as you winced, before bowing your head a little, wondering why the question had made your heart drop the way it did.

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully, “probably, a - a lot stupider than you thought I was before, right?”

“Right,” she corroborated, a little more half-heartedly this time as her expression softened, and voice grew to be more gentle than it was, before, “Y/n-”

“You guys are still alive?” A familiar voice rang out, and Embry would begrudgingly lift her head to find Claire running toward them, her eyes wide with shock; she didn’t think she’d ever be reunited with them again, clearly, after all that had been going on recently, and it wasn’t long before Shyro turned the corner behind her, downing another Skin-eater in the process before he stopped at the medic’s side, and would wince when he noticed the wounds you’d achieved in one night as a result of the rebels getting their hands on you the way they did.

“Claire,” Embry managed in a voice barely audible, expressing relief as soon as she noticed that it was her, her vision briefly unclouded by the seemingly never-ending tears that blurred it whenever her gaze locked with your’s, “thank god - Y/n, she - she needs your help, she-”

“Yeah, because she looks better than ever right now,” Claire remarked impatiently as she rolled her eyes, “I can see she needs my help, dur-brain - look at her.”

“I’m right here, y’know,” you commented feebly, before wincing again as Embry helped you up alongside Claire, Shyro helping to apply pressure onto your back wound as they tried to support and half-carry you along the hallway, Alexa keeping watch alongside Shyro as best she could for any incoming Skin-eaters or rebels who might still be within the base with them right now, as there still seemed to be some commotion in the surrounding areas taking place whilst they were trying not to make their escape to somewhere else more sheltered, wherever that may be, a topic currently unknown to them as Shyro occasionally fired ideas at the group whilst they struggled along the way they currently were.

“What about the hall? It’s not too far from here, and last time I checked nobody’s moved in there since-”

“Too open,” Claire uttered, sounding exasperated - it was getting harder to carry you, as you seemed to struggle a little more, and your body was getting a tad heavier as you grew to be more and more limp than you were, before, “we’d need somewhere with more shelter; more trees - the hall doesn’t have that, and who knows? You haven’t been out there for a while, y’know - there could be a whole convoy of rebels there, now, just sitting and waiting to mow the rest of us down.”

“But-”

“Next idea,” Claire demanded, and Shyro would scowl over at her, before hastily looking toward another screech, and shooting down yet another Skin-eater before it could reach the group.

“Okay, then - have you got any bright ideas, miss high and mighty?” Shyro questioned her, and Claire would think about it for a moment, pressing her lips together tightly to stop herself from retorting - there was a time and a place for certain things, even she knew that, no matter how much he was currently pissing her off the way he was, and had ever since she’d first met him.

“The sewers,” she blurted out, and Shyro would raise his eyebrows over at her as his nostrils subconsciously flared in her direction; he clearly didn’t think it was as bright of an idea as she seemed to, “there shouldn’t be any Skin-eaters down there, right?”

“You’re wrong,” you contradicted, your voice even smaller than it was, before, surprising the group as they turned their heads a little to look over at you, Embry more than the others, as she clung to every one of your words, and tried desperately not to think about how pale you currently were, “each tunnel, they’re going to be rife with them - the Skin-eaters know to use them, considering-..” You winced, drawing in a sharp breath as the pain began to make itself known even more all over again.

“For god’s sake,” Claire uttered, “either you toughen up, and tell us what you know, or you shut up, and use your strength better.”

“Preferably the second option,” Embry recommended quietly, and you would appear surprised as you glanced up at her, but she wouldn’t dare look back at you, swallowing back the new lump in her throat as she thought back to what had happened between you both earlier, “but it’s your choice, not mine.”

You frowned, before nodding gravely, and begrudgingly looking away from her as you tried to muster up your strength again, not wanting to have to hide anything from the group anymore as you continued, slowly, but surely, to inform them of what your father had done to the sewers around here, and why you’d only ever be fools to go down there, now, if only they’d have listened to you in the long run.

🜚

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Embry murmured, as she washed her hands under the makeshift basin Claire had helped put together with Shyro, your blood slowly but surely coming off of her hands, “I couldn’t abandon you, Y/n, a-and that’s just-.. I-.. it didn’t mean anything, okay?”

“I know,” you claimed, your voice close to a whisper whilst your eyes darkened, “I just-.. I wanted you to know that you - that you didn’t have to do what you did for me, especially not after-..”

“Like I said before, I wasn’t about to let them take you away like that,” she repeated, before warily turning to face you, and half-leaning against the basin whilst she subconsciously examined you again to make sure that all of your wounds had been tended to, by now. Eventually, Embry had remembered something Cynthia had told her about the Quarter Duct, an embankment that had been closed down not too long ago, now, because of all the accidents that had seemed to occur there, and it struck her as being a possibly good (at least temporarily) place that could hold you all, at least for now, without much imminent threat of Skin-eaters as well as rebels being a feature of the hide-out, though she knew that they’d try, definitely, to get up to such a spot at some point.

You raised your eyebrows, before nodding gravely, and bowing your head whilst she stuffed her hands into her pockets, and wondered for a moment if you still had the rings, the thought taking her aback as her heart sank, and eyes darkened, her body tensing up as if she were still struggling to hold herself together after what had occurred between you both a little while ago, now.

“Thank you, anyway,” you replied, and she would hesitantly glance up at you, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes locked with your’s in the best way possible, “for-.. for everything; you’ve-.. you’re-..” You sighed, a pained expression on your face whilst she wondered what would happen, if she went up to you again, and threw her arms around you as if nothing had happened earlier the way it did. “Nevermind,” you added a little more weakly, as if you were afraid of your voice trembling, “I-.. it’s nothing, I just-.. I wish you’d shout at me, o-or-… y’know.”

Embry faltered, a hurt look on her face as she subconsciously shook her head; she couldn’t do that to you, even after you’d broke up with her the way you did not too long ago, now.

“Y/n-”

“I’d deserve it,” you mused, “I know I would; I hate myself for-.. for everything, you know I do-”

She appeared taken aback again, her eyes narrowing a little as she tilted her head partially, whilst you fidgeted anxiously with the fingers that hadn’t been broken by the rebels earlier.

“Do you hate yourself for loving me, if you ever even did love me?” She questioned, curious, and you would frown, a hurt look on your face as you glanced up at her, and god did she wish she could take the question back as fast as she’d allowed it to slip from her lips the way it did.

“Is that what you wanna hear? That I never loved you, in the first place?” You asked, and she would falter again, not sure what to say as she bowed her head again half-heartedly; of course she didn’t want to hear something like that, but it hurt her nonetheless to know that there was always a possibility that you might never even have felt anything for her, even after all that you’d both been through together recently.

“Of course not, why - why would you even ask me something like that?” She pried, but you didn’t dare look up at her; didn’t dare even speak anymore as you stared down at your hands, not even bothering to react to the shouting that followed outside, prompting Embry to falter, looking back at you, before she pushed herself to go outside, no matter how much her heart longed to remain as close as it could be to your own, even after all that you’d both been through together today.

🜸

“You know we all hate you, right?” Claire spat, as Embry came up behind the two, her gun back in her hands as if she were expecting trouble as much as the rest of you were, soon, even though this interruption certainly surprised her a lot more than others had.

“What’s going on?” She questioned, and both Claire and Shyro would tense up in response to her voice, wincing, before Shyro subconsciously blocked her way, afraid of how she would react if she saw the intruder, especially considering she hated him, even before he’d done what he had done to you not too long ago, now.

“Embry, maybe - maybe you should go back inside; Y/n’ll want you with her,” Claire suggested gently, but - though spending more time with you had never been more appetising - she pushed through her urges, shaking her head as she shoved Claire out of her way using the barrel of her gun, only to falter, and scowl as soon as her gaze fell upon a bleeding as well as somehow grinning Pedro.

“You,” she hissed, and he would smirk over at her whilst she silently fumed, remembering how she’d found you crying within your room whilst you shook uncontrollably, unable to calm down, or even get any sleep that same night, after he’d violated you the way he did - it was enough to make her have to hold herself back from firing the rest of her rounds within his head as she begrudgingly lowered her gun, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Oh, y’know, I just thought it’d be a good idea if I followed the lot of you up here, after you got out and all,” he answered simply, “what? Were you not expecting me? I thought you’d want me here-”

“Why would any of us want you here? You’re an asshole,” Embry spat, and he would scowl subconsciously in her direction whilst Claire and Shyro nodded in agreement with her, Shyro also looking as if he were close to firing his gun at the idiot stood a few paces away from him.

“But-”

“No buts, Pedro,” Claire began again, lowering Shyro’s gun for him as she stood in front of her companion, “don’t you think you would have been invited to join us, if we wanted to keep you safe here, too?”

“Well, yeah, but - that’s why I’m here, actually,” he claimed, “why didn’t you guys invite me to join you here, when you all know that I could probably use somewhere to stay right now, like all of you?”

“I thought we made it clear enough - jeez,” she uttered, evidently frustrated, before Shyro began again whilst Embry continued to shoot daggers at him, her grip upon her gun tightening as she tried to hold herself together, for your sake, as well as her own.

“You weren’t invited because we didn’t want you here,” Shyro snapped, as he lifted his gun again, threateningly approaching the base’s invader, “why don’t you just get that through your thick-ass skull, and get out of here before I leave a few bullets in it?”

Pedro appeared taken aback - finally - by Shyro’s threat, as if it had hurt him somewhat for a reason unbeknownst to Embry and Claire who warily looked on at the two.

“What the hell, Shyro? I thought we were pals - what did I ever do to you?” Pedro questioned, and Shyro raised his eyebrows whilst he tried to ensure his voice didn’t shake, biting down a little upon his tongue.

“You’re not my friend anymore, remember? We stopped being friends when you-..” He stopped, his voice trembling a little as Claire tilted her head skeptically in his direction, whilst all Embry could see and feel was nothing, but pure red; hatred, complete and burning, toward the man stood before her - it was getting much harder for her not to plant a few rounds within him. “You know what you did,” he added, instead, before turning back toward the others, “deal with him.”

Claire nodded, patting her friend’s shoulder as he passed, before disappearing back into the base where Alexa was still tending to Akaya’s wound.

“You, er,” Pedro began a little uneasily, stepping back as Embry scowled, inching closer alongside Claire, “you guys aren’t actually gonna do anything, are you?”

“You’ll see,” Embry uttered, whilst Claire came up alongside her, as if asking her what she were about to do to him, eager to make him pay somehow for all he’d done to you as well as Shyro (something they had yet to question him about, now that they were skeptical of why he seemed to act the way he did around Pedro).

“Oh, c’mon, don’t - don’t give me that,” he replied, sounding a little more exasperated as Embry raised her eyebrows, her gun pointed still directly at where his heart was meant to be, if he even somehow had one, “surely you don’t hate me that much, I mean-”

“We hate you more than you know,” she spat, “and I think it’s time we made that clear-”

“What we’re gonna do,” Claire began, Embry tensing up a little beside her as she warily looked toward her friend, “is give you a minute head start, before we fuckin’ hunt you down ourselves, if the Skin-eaters don’t get to you first.”

“What?” He replied, looking none the wiser as his eyes widened. “But, that - that’s not fair, guys, I - I have nowhere else to go-”

“I know someplace,” Embry stated coolly, reminding herself about everything you’d told them about how the sewers were connected to your father’s lab, “but your safety depends on how fast you actually make it there, if you’re even up to such a challenge? I only doubt that you might be because of how much of a coward I know you to be-”

“Screw you,” he retorted, whilst Embry grimaced over at him, her grip on her gun tightening again whilst she even had to try and stop herself from exerting anymore pressure upon the trigger, knowing she had to do this right, for you, as well as everyone else he’d wronged before this moment in time, “I think you’ll find that you are the coward, Hawthorn - you knew what I did, to Y/n, but you didn’t come after me, did you? You didn’t-”

“I would have,” she interjected, her voice harder as well as sharper than Claire had ever heard it before, “and believe me, it was hard not hurting you, whenever I saw you, but I’m not gonna hold back anymore, as soon as I get my chance, especially now the leaders aren’t around to tell me what to do, as well as what not to do.”

“Embry,” Claire began gently, but her friend wouldn’t dare look over at her, knowing that she probably was worried about her change in demeanour, but she couldn’t let what Pedro had done to you slide - not anymore.

“Go inside, Claire,” she demanded, low and dangerous, and Claire would wince, warily looking back toward the door, “now.”

“But-”

“Now is not the time-”

“I know, but - the head start-”

“Is void,” Embry spat, and her friend would subconsciously scowl over at her, before nodding gravely, and lowering her gun - of course she understood that it had pained Embry more than anything to have seen you the way she did, unable to help you, until now, but it still worried her to think that she would get so reckless as to not even give him a chance to be eaten by the Skin-eaters, like she was sure he would be, if they stuck to their previous idea they had come up with a brief moment ago, before this moment in time. “Inside, now,” she repeated, and Claire would sigh heavily, before nodding begrudgingly, and turning to rejoin the others within their new makeshift base - consisting of a few tents, and such, the best they could do right now, considering they’d only just made it their own temporary (at least somewhat) safe space. “I’m gonna make you pay,” she hissed, turning back to face Pedro who was still glancing behind him as if he would bolt, soon, or was trying not to no matter what his urges were telling him, right now.

“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged, and Embry would raise her eyebrows, before she hastily lowered her gun, and fired a round into his right knee, prompting him to curse shakily as his legs gave way beneath him, allowing her to get closer, and tightly wrap her right hand around his neck as she pulled him back up off of the ground, only making the pain intensify within his kneecap as she dragged him toward the edge of the embankment, holding him against the partially broken down railing that was cutting off some access from the cliff edge, easily rectified. “Fuck,” he hissed, his voice close to a shaky and strangled whisper as her grip didn’t loosen on his neck, her eyes full of her anger and hatred as she leaned him back a bit so that he was partially dangling over the edge, “w-what the fuck are you-”

“Y’know, I would have told you to go down to the sewers,” she stated, calm as ever with just the slightest edge to her voice, intensifying slightly every second she was reminded of the night you cried in her arms, shaking uncontrollably after he’d violated you, “we would have given you the smallest of chances, but-.. whenever I’m reminded of what you did, I-.. I can’t let you go without putting you through the pain Y/n had to go through, after what you did to her.”

“Wait, n-no, don’t!” He choked out, as she leaned him even further, wishing you could see her do it at the same time as she tried not to look down herself at the fall awaiting him, as soon as she was determined to let go, and watch his bones crack excruciatingly.

The thought was enough to make her smile softly; you wouldn’t have to be burdened by his presence ever again, as long as she killed him right then and there, no matter what he tried to do or say to get out of the fate awaiting him beyond the cliff-edge, but at the same time, it made her heart sink to think that she was only able to do it now, after it had been a little while since he’d hurt you the way he did, making her feel guilty nonetheless even if she’d been holding herself back from doing this to protect you, before, knowing what the Commanders would have done if she’d hurt him within the base - something she couldn’t let happen the way she knew it would, an image of you bloodied and shaking appearing within her mind as she winced, and tried to release it hastily from her head, not wanting to ever have to see you in pain like that ever again, the way she knew she would if she’d killed him whilst the Survivors were still a group together, before this moment in time.

“Why?” She questioned, tightening her grip even more around his neck whilst she held her gun up to the right side of his head; she didn’t like that he could still speak, even with the pressure she was exerting.

He winced, evidently in pain still; it must have been getting worse, but that only made Embry feel better for what she was doing as she smirked, looking forward to telling you that he was gone, once she’d eventually got rid of him somehow, just like she’d promised to the night he’d done what he had, cradling you delicately close to her as she cooed sweet nothings to you, as well as thought about all she could do to avenge you, as well as make the world at least a somewhat safer place for your sake, especially when you were stuck in the state that you were, before, just because of what he’d done to you that night.

‘Don’t do anything stupid for me, please,’ she remembered you whispering a little shakily, your trembling fingers in her hair as she rested her head upon your own, a pained expression on her face - even after what he’d done, you were scared of what might happen to her if she went after him, but she couldn’t let him get away with it; a part of her always burned to see him hurt after how he’d hurt you, and now she was finally getting the opportunity to provide as much pain as she was, and had always dreamed of doing for you, no matter how you felt about such an idea, even after what he’d put you through before this moment in time.

“B-Because I’m - I-.. I’m sorry, okay!?” He cried, and Embry would raise her eyebrows, but she wouldn’t loosen her grip on his neck, nor would she even lower her gun an inch as he began to cry quietly - his breathing feeble, and pattern staggered and uneven as each second passed with her squeezing his neck. “Tell - Tell Y/n that I - I’m sorry for what I did,” he claimed, before his eyes darkened, and a mischievous glint formed within them, “at least, I would be, if she didn’t lay there and take it the whore that she is-”

That was it for her, she couldn’t stop it, as her finger pulled down the trigger, embedding a bullet within his skull even before she let him drop, her teeth gritted as her blood boiled, her gaze locked onto him as he dropped down, before hitting the ground with a nasty thud and snap of bone, leaving his body limp and no longer breathing, and as soon as she knew he was gone she smiled softly again, feeling nothing, but relief - she only hoped you would feel the same way once she’d told you what she had done, as she turned around, before making her way back inside the main tent, her heart pounding, and skin thrumming with electricity, until she stopped at the entrance, and was met with the shocked expressions of her inside contemporaries.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it, and are looking forward to the next one! ❤️

[disabled-dragoon]

The Disability Library

I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.

And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!

As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!

Edit 20/10/2023: You can now suggest books using the google form at the bottom!

Updated: 31/08/2023

Articles and Chapters

The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012

Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?, Elinor Greenburg, 2019

Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018

Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019

Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004

Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020

Books

Fiction:

Misc:

10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac

A-F:

A Curse So Dark and Lonely, (Series), Brigid Kemmerer

Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor

A Mango-Shaped Space, Wendy Mass

Ancillary Justice, (Series), Ann Leckie

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon

An Unseen Attraction, (Series), K. J. Charles

A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee

A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd

A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin

A Spindle Splintered, (Series), Alix E. Harrow

A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman

Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon

Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray

The Bedlam Stacks, (Series), Natasha Pulley

Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack

Black Sun, (Series), Rebecca Roanhorse

Blood Price, (Series), Tanya Huff

Borderline, (Series), Mishell Baker

Breath, Donna Jo Napoli

The Broken Kingdoms, (Series), N.K. Jemisin

Brute, Kim Fielding

Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee

Carry the Ocean, (Series), Heidi Cullinan

Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman

Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer

Clean, Amy Reed

Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert

Cosima Unfortunate Steals A Star, Laura Noakes

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert

Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots, (Series), Cat Sebastian

Daniel, Deconstructed, James Ramos

Dead in the Garden, (Series), Dahlia Donovan

Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe

Deathless Divide, (Series), Justina Ireland

The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann

The Doctor's Discretion, E.E. Ottoman

Earth Girl, (Series), Janet Edwards

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin

The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart

Fight + Flight, Jules Machias

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

Finding My Voice, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The First Thing About You, Chaz Hayden

Follow My Leader, James B. Garfield

Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington

Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood

Fresh, Margot Wood

H-0:

Harmony, London Price

Harrow the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Hench, (Series), Natalia Zina Walschots

Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley

Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers

How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby

How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager, (Series), D. N. Bryn

How to Sell Your Blood & Fall in Love, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Joy Demorra

I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork

The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora

In the Ring, Sierra Isley

Into The Drowning Deep, (Series), Mira Grant

Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao

Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds

Jodie's Journey, Colin Thiele

Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell

Kissing Doorknobs, Terry Spencer Hesser

Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore

Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss

Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry

The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu

The Lion Hunter, (Series), Elizabeth Wein

Lirael, (Series), Garth Nix

Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans

Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses, Kristen O'Neal

Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

The Never Tilting World, (Series), Rin Chupeco

The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall

Nona the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Noor, Nnedi Okorafor

Odder Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Once Stolen, (Series), D. N. Bryn

One For All, Lillie Lainoff

On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis

Origami Striptease, Peggy Munson

Our Bloody Pearl, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

P-T:

Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan

Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee

The Prey of Gods, Nicky Drayden

The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan

The Queen's Thief, (Series), Megan Whalen Turner

The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox

The Raging Quiet, Sheryl Jordan

The Reanimator's Heart, (Series), Kara Jorgensen

The Remaking of Corbin Wale, Joan Parrish

Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner

Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby

The Second Mango, (Series), Shira Glassman

Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M

Shaman, (Series), Noah Gordon

Sick Kids in Love, Hannah Moskowitz

The Silent Boy, Lois Lowry

Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo

Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood

Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient is Love. No, Really, (Series), RoAnna Sylver

Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]

The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes

Stronger Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Sweetblood, Pete Hautman

Tarnished Are the Stars, Rosiee Thor

The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani

Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos

Top Ten, Katie Cotugno

Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann

Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon

Turtles All the Way Down, John Green

U-Z:

Unlicensed Delivery, Will Soulsby-McCreath Expected release October 2023

Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan

Vorkosigan Saga, (Series), Lois McMaster Bujold

We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf

Whip, Stir and Serve, Caitlyn Frost and Henry Drake

The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew

Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron

Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio

Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai

Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon

Graphic Novels:

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability, (Non-Fiction), A. Andrews

Constellations, Kate Glasheen

Dancing After TEN: a graphic memoir, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Vivian Chong, Georgia Webber

Everything Is an Emergency: An OCD Story in Words Pictures, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Jason Adam Katzenstein

Frankie's World: A Graphic Novel, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The Golden Hour, Niki Smith

Nimona, N. D. Stevenson

The Third Person, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Emma Grove

Magazines and Anthologies:

Artificial Divide, (Anthology), Robert Kingett, Randy Lacey

Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg

Defying Doomsday, (Anthology), edited by Tsana Dolichva and Holly Kench

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe

Nothing Without Us, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Nothing Without Us Too, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens, (Anthology), edited by Marieke Nijkamp

Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.

Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett

We Shall Be Monsters, edited by Derek Newman-Stille

Manga:

Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga

The Sky is Blue with a Single Cloud, (Short Stories), Kuniko Tsurita

Non-Fiction:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage

A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen

The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen

Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson

Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, Dr. Elinor Greenburg

Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare

The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.

The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican

Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel

Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah

The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang

Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai

Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred

Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen

Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc

Every Cripple a Superhero, Christoph Keller

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare

Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Growing Up Disabled in Australia, Carly Findlay

It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall

The Minority Body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford

No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose

Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton

The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma

Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua

QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.

The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar

Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig

Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright

Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline

The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender

Uncanny Bodies: Superhero Comics and Disability, Scott T. Smith, José Alaniz 

Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman, (memoir), Laura Kate Dale

Unmasking Autism, Devon Price

The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford

We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, Eliza Hull

Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong

Picture Books:

A Day With No Words, Tiffany Hammond, Kate Cosgrove-

A Friend for Henry, Jenn Bailey, Mika Song

Ali and the Sea Stars, Ali Stroker, Gillian Reid

All Are Welcome, Alexandra Penfold, Suzanne Kaufman

All the Way to the Top, Annette Bay Pimentel, Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, Nabi Ali

Can Bears Ski?, Raymond Antrobus, Polly Dunbar

Different -- A Great Thing to Be!, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

Everyone Belongs, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

I Talk Like a River, Jordan Scott, Sydney Smith

Jubilee: The First Therapy Horse and an Olympic Dream, K. T. Johnson, Anabella Ortiz

Just Ask!, Sonia Sotomayor, Rafael López

Kami and the Yaks, Andrea Stenn Stryer, Bert Dodson

My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay, Cari Best, Vanessa Brantley-Newton

Rescue & Jessica: A Life-Changing Friendship, Jessica Kensky, Patrick Downes, Scott Magoon

Sam's Super Seats, Keah Brown, Sharee Miller

Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha

We Move Together, Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, Eduardo Trejos

We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful!, Bobbi Jane Kates, Joe Mathieu

What Happened to You?, James Catchpole, Karen George

The World Needs More Purple People, Kristen Bell, Benjamin Hart, Daniel Wiseman

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

You Are Loved: A Book About Families, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

The You Kind of Kind, Nina West, Hayden Evans

Zoom!, Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko

Plays:

Peeling, Kate O'Reilly

---

With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon @thebibliosphere @brynwrites @aj-grimoire @shade-and-sun @ceanothusspinosus @edhelwen1 @waltzofthewifi @spiderleggedhorse @sleepneverheardofher @highladyluck @oftheides @thecouragetobekind @nopoodles @lupadracolis @elusivemellifluence @creativiteaa @moonflowero1 @the-bi-library @chronically-chaotic-cryptid for your absolutely fantastic contributions!

---

Submit a Book:

[nightingale2004]

Sherlock bbc next gen: Mormor (Moriarty x Moran) version

Dahlia Mavis Moran Moriarty

Faceclaim: Dove Cameron

Dahlia is the daughter of Criminal Mastermind James "Jim" Moriarty and his partner Sebastian Moran

Her father Jim faked his death by using his brother and came back to Sebastian and Dahlia, who were already out of the country

This girl is a criminal mastermind

Master hacker and master of disguise

Very good actress

Loves to play games with the Holmes family

Loves 80s, 90s, and 2000s music

Her dad's have tried to keep her out of their "business," but she figured it all out and decided to join in

She always has a backup plan

✨️Fashion icon ✨️

She never misses a target when shooting a gun (thanks to Sebastian)

She has her own network for her "bad guy" business

Keeps a close eye on the Holmes family

?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?

+ Molly Hooper's daughter

Margot Joanna Hooper

Faceclaim: Giorgia Whigham

Father unknown (Molly and Sherlock have no idea and have trouble tracking him down)

Margot has known the Holmes since she was a newborn

Sherlock is her godfather

Has a crush on one of the Holmes twins (you decide who 😉)

She does volunteer work at the hospital and spends time with her mom in the morgue

Sherlock and his family love Margot like she's their own

Knows random facts

Knows a few......hundred ways to get a human to stop breathing

Loves spending time with Rosamund and Allison

Loves hearing the Holmes twins play their instruments

Margot and her mother take care of each other

Loves gardening

Loves game nights and holiday dinners

Was taught self-defense by the Holmes kids

She often questions how she got involved with the Holmes and their strange cases

She often cooks for her mother, the Holmes kids, Allison or herself

Helps her mom at work sometimes

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

1989, Taylor Swift

(this edit series is currently in the works!! so not to 100% spoil my own edits but like, this is the same list I used to plan it!) but also as a rule, this album is 100% Abbie Hudson & Arianne Martin!

Welcome To New York: Kirsty Gilmore

Blank Space: Arianne Martin

Style: Betty Fabray x Mac Hudson, Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea, Anastasia Andrews x Jughead Jones

Out Of The Woods: Arianne Martin x Stiles Stilinski, Selena McCall x Derek Hale

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Helena x Klaus Hargreeves

Shake It Off: Kirsty Gilmore

I Wish You Would: Finley Rider x Prince Ben

Bad Blood: Willow Dell & Rory Gilmore, Arianne Martin & Allison Argent, Avalon & Mal, Amethyst Andrews & Veronica Lodge, Alia Kelly & Serena Van Der Woodsen

Wildest Dreams: Rosabelle Legume x Harry Hook x Prince Ben, Ariel Blossom x Malachai

How You Get The Girl: Ivy Knight x Oliver Queen

This Love: Abbie Hudson x Quinn Fabray

I Know Places: Bella Pressman x Harry Bingham

Clean: Kirsty Gilmore, Helena Hargreeves

Wonderland: Ophelia Wayne x Leander Zane Hayes, Anastasia Andrews x Jughead Jones

You Are In Love: Jacqueline Grant x Jess Mariano

New Romantics: Kyla Keller, Coco Bates, Abbie Hudson

Slut!: Sophie Dugray, Kyla Keller, Coco Bates

Say Don’t Go: Jeremy St James x Sebastian Smythe, Roxie Flores x Noah Puckerman

Now That We Don’t Talk: Evie Van Der Woodsen x Jenny Humphrey

Suburban Legends: Margot Kline x Neal Caffrey

Is It Over Now?: Sidney Hopper x Steve Harrington (ft. Billy & Nancy)

Sweeter Than Fiction: Aurora & Blaine & Cooper Anderson

Send me an album and, if I know the artist, I will try to associate to every song an oc/ship/crossover

[stringhq]

Mwf? This looks amazing!!!!

thank you so much! i'd love to see alexa demie, america ferrera, anne hathaway, anya taylor joy, ayo edebiri, brittany snow, carey mulligan, chase sui wonders, coco jones, courteney cox, elizabeth lail, fka twigs, halle bailey, havana rose liu, jane de leon, jenna ortega, jessie buckley, maggie q, margot robbie, melissa barrera, mia goth, rachel sennott, sophie turner, sydney sweeney, tati gabrielle, taylor russell, victoria pedretti, willa fitzgerald, and zendaya. there are a bunch of ideas under the cut too from when i was in a spooky mood!

abbey lee, addison rae, aimee carrero, alexandra jensen, alison oliver, allison williams, alona tal, alyssa sutherland, amanda seyfried, america ferrera, andi matichak, angela bassett, antoinette robinson, anya taylor-joy, ayo edebiri, bahar pars, bethlehem million, billie lourd, brittany snow, caitlin stasey, carey mulligan, celeste o'connor, chase sui wonders, chloe bailey, cleopatra coleman, courteney cox, devyn nekoda, dominique fishback, elizabeth moss, ella balinska, emily tennant, fivel stewart, florence pugh, georgina campbell, gideon adlon, gillian anderson, gina gershon, grace byers, havana rose liu, hayden panettiere, hong chau, jane adams, janet mcteer, jasmin savoy brown, jenna coleman, jessie buckley, judy greer, julie bowen, kaia gerber, kaitlyn denver, kathryn newton, katie winter, keke palmer, kiernan shipka, kirby howell-bapitiste, kristen stewart, lady gaga, liana liberato, lily sullivan, lola zackow, lucy boynton, lucy hale, maggie q, maika monroe, maria bakalova, marin ireland, marley shelton, meghan martin, melissa barrera, mia goth, michelle yeoh, mikey madison, miranda otto, myha'la, nell verlaque, neve campbell, nichole sakura, odeya rush, olivia holt, paris jackson, portia doubleday, rachel sennott, renata vaca, rosamund pike, ruby cruz, samara weaving, sandra oh, sarah snook, shabana azeez, shannyn sossamon, shawnee smith, silvina sabater, sonia ammar, sophie thatcher, sophie wilde, sosie bacon, taissa farmigo, taylor russell, tina fey, virginia gardner, x mayo, or yvonne orjii!

[padmaddean]

Allison & Margot

I Know What You Did Last Summer s01e04

[writerbot5000]

I Know What You Did Last Summer Finale Theory

I have a theory about how I Know What You Did Last Summer is going to end next week. It’s super stupid and convoluted and I’m going to be so unhappy if I’m right. 

At the end of episode 7, Dylan is apparently turning himself into the police. He also heavily implied he killed Clara. And we’re supposed to think he’s the killer, but there’s still a whole episode left and you lose any suspense for your finale if the killer is caught before the episode even begins. 

So my theory is he did kill Clara because he thought she was the killer. Then after her slept with Allison (which, ugh, I hated that plot point so much), he somehow figured out that Margot had to have been the killer (they did make a point of showing the ‘I’m Here’ note in Allison’s drawer when she was getting the condoms, so maybe that note was somehow a clue for him. But then he didn’t act on it until after having sex with “Lennon” so who knows?). 

Dylan decides he can’t prove Margot is the killer, so he decides to kill her himself by pushing her out the window. He thinks she is dead, so he then goes to turn himself in. 

We, the audience, think there’s no way Margot could be the killer since she was attacked, but if Dylan’s not the killer that leaves her free to be the killer. 

They also made a point of showing Margot repeatedly touching cuts on Allison’s thigh as if she was counting them. So I’m pretty sure she knows that Allison is not Lennon. Though she only figured that out now so honestly I don’t know what her motivation for being the killer would be. 

I really, really don’t want Margot to be the killer. And if there is a season two, I very much want Allison and Margot to be building a healthy and happy relationship without hidden identities, but I’m very worried this theory is right and in season two Margot will be dead and we will be saddled with the shitty Dylan and Allison love story instead. 

[miscgifsgifs]

I Know What You Did Last Summer (2021)

[tafatefii]

just my analysis of margot and alison's relationship.

in my opinion, they've been the main relationship of the show the whole season. if the show wanted us to focus on dylan and alison they would have given them more on screen development scenes like they did with margot and alison. the only on screen romantic moments we get of them are graduation night, them flirting while looking for riley's body and episode 7. but even during episode 6 and 7, alison always returns to margot when either of them is feeling most vulnerable.

in my opinion episode 7 showed us the destruction of alison and dylan's relationship and alison realizing that not only can she not go back to being alison again, but she doesn't want to and that's where episode 8 picks off, showing us that she killed lennon bc she was jealous of her life and how much she liked the affection margot was giving her on graduation night (cheek kiss). even if this dream isn't a memory but just a nightmare, it shows us that alison does in fact have feelings for margot through her change in reaction to margot cheek kiss from ep1.

my opinion is dylan and alison were more infatuated with each other than in love, they barely knew each other after alison's mom's death. whereas as margot actually knew lennon and how messed up she could be. no one knew lennon better than margot and alison. lennon even opened up about her self harm with margot bc only alison and margot knew that. dylan should have noticed the girl he loved was in front of him but it was margot who noticed the girl she loved was gone via social media of all things whereas dylan spent 3 weeks alone with her and still had no idea.

alison is not the victim she's made herself out to be through out the season. she's just as twisted and psychopathic as margot. they are lowkey a match made in heaven- both unhinged, insecure, manipulative and desperate for attention and love. i do believe the girls actually developed feelings for each but obviously the foundation of their relationship is very toxic and messy. they've both been lying to each other and they've both done horrible unforgivable things to each other and now they're keeping each other's murderous secrets. IT'S SICK, but it's also kind of entertaining.

they're relationship was a mess from the start so of course it wasn't going to be magically healthy in the end. the fact that all the characters just left lennon in a cave proves none of them are actually good people. i dont think alison only chose margot as a way to survive, she actually didn't have to bc bruce had already covered all the bases (photo switch and everything). she's also choosing to protect margot over dylan, and that's foreshadowed in the start when she doesn't tell bruce that margot might know who she is even though she's basically making dylan look insane for the same thing. she also doesn't tell bruce about what margot has done to her mother. her and bruce practically share everything at this point bc they kind of have to to survive their lie so there's no point to keep him from the truth unless she actually doesn't want to get margot in trouble in my opinion. alison, just like margot, has a very deep desire to connect with someone. she's self isolated most of her life and now as lennon she's started forming all these relationships. she's already lost dylan, she doesn't want the same thing to happen with margot. after all, margot has actually become her comfort zone wish is very sad considering she's also the one who's been torturing her (lol).

obviously alison isn't as unhinged as margot, she actually feels guilt for her selfish choices but that's the point of the show, can she face the consequences of her actions and were they worth it.

i think alison's confession to margot after she's stabbed her is the most honest she's been all season. the way margot has loved her as lennon has changed her life, it's already implied that alison wasn't getting any love from her family at home and her only friend was johnny and no one knew they were friends. she's become more confident and affectionate through margot etc. i also don't think alison is being forced by margot to be lennon either, she likes being lennon. she might have killed lennon to have her life. margot and alison are very jealous people, just like we see how margot is jealous of everyone lennon shows affection, alison is very jealous of her sister to the point where she's constantly comparing herself to lennon. in episode 4, alison realizes that margot has been hurt by lennon just like her after all just like lennon would talk trash about alison to margot, she'd do the same about margot to alison. in fully taking her role as lennon she decides she doesn't want to hurt people like her sister did and that why she apologizes. she's sorry for her sisters action to margot who seem very loving to her. i don't think she went there thinking im going to apologize and kiss her so she thinks i'm lennon. she feels a connection between her and margot in that moment. whereas margot kisses her to feel closer to lennon again, alison actually initiates the 2nd kiss bc she's starting to feel something for margot and it surprises them both. we see her planning to pursue that relationship further in ep5 until bruce tells her margot didn't love her and probably won't like her version of lennon.

madison iseman stated in an interview that alison starts falling for margot throughout the season but that's not my only proof bc her confession also just makes sense, i don't think she was lying about that, you do actually see her go to margot for comfort and love a lot throughout the show. she also starts to understand the on and off nature of her sister's relationship with margot (and why she never let her go when she insinuated she didn't like her) bc lennon was also seeking the same thing from margot. she even opens up about her mom but doesn't to dylan bc only margot can make her feel better when she's actually feeling upset. you also see her prioritize margot's feelings. i was expecting her to run away from margot after she reveals she knows her true identity in her sleep (ep7) but she doesn't. instead she tries to keep her on her side by manipulating and lying to her about what happened with dylan not knowing she's actually speaking to the killer bc she's so afraid of going back to being alone like before.

the creator of ikwydls is actually insane for making such a deranged show but the killer's identity was never as important as the motives that have driven the characters to be where they are. also, villains don't always have to be straight/ white/ men, it just depends on how it's executed. villanelle (killing eve) for example is a very likable psychopath bc she's been humanized in the show despite her dark tendencies just like margot (same with joe and love (you) and dexter (from dexter)). margot isnt just some killer, she's a girl who was used and hurt by lennon and alison, she just has a very deep desire to love and be loved and obviously she doesnt express that jealousy well all the time, just like alison.

margot and alison are also not the only unhealthy relationship on the show, dylan and riley were also a mess but not to the extent of margot and alison/ lennon obviously. margot has also fallen for alison in her own twisted way, i think she only pushes herself out the window for attention bc alison is out with dylan. but with alison lying about him and what happened last night, she feels like she's being manipulated and strung along again and that's when she starts up her original plan of punishing alison. i mean clara had already taken the fall for everything. to margot, alison choosing to frame the boy she supposedly loved is a declaration of her love and that's what shows margot that alison might just be in love with her after all. obviously there's a lot of manipulation coming from both ends of their relationship but i think it would be interesting to see their relationship get back to a somewhat healthier standing now that all their shits out on the table. i don't actually want the messiness of their relationship to end, it's what makes them interesting. and it would be fun to see alison struggle with what she's done and whether she still cares for margot like she did before if the show gets renewed. i don't think alison is entirely happy in her relationship with margot bc of what she had to do for it but also bc margot is a very scary/ unpredictable character but i also don't think she's unhappy to the point where she's miserable and wants out. after all margot was absolutely HORRIBLE to her through the season. margot treated her well enough to become her place of comfort. it seems like they're both protecting each other at this point and their secrets. same with margot, I don't think she's entirely that happy either but alison chose to protect her for some reason and that's what she's always wanted. i'd hope the actresses aren't promoting this relationship with smiles while one of their character doesn't actually want to be in the relationship bc that would be weird and an actual glorification of abuse. however that being said, the way alison craves attention is very different from lennon, lennon would take advantage of the affection she's being give which is what she does with margot (constantly taking and giving nothing back and even if she'd like to reciprocate her feelings she struggles bc of the trauma from her mom's apparent suicide, and margot knows that too). alison is more submissive in that role and that's what opens her up to all these messy relationship she's in. she keeps letting people in even when they prove to have hated her real self enough to have left her in a cave. one of the funniest moments to me is when margot asks alison "what do you think alison would want" as she's asking who she thinks is lennon what they should do with the body. and alison agrees to go the cave. just like lennon's friends are willing to leave her dead body in a cave, she's willing to leave lennon in that cave and not face the consequences of her actions.

i think brianne tju and madison iseman did a great job potraying the complexities and layers of this relationship. i'm actually enjoyed their performances a lot. there are some aspects of the show that can be improved on and it did fall into some tropes. it could also not protray mental health like that bc wtf but other than that i found the experience entertaining.

sorry this is so long, for the people who choose to read

[faithsknife]

margot x allison have gotta be one of the most twisted sapphic pairings. & it's still so refreshing that a wlw pairing was allowed to be wild, twisted, & chaotic just like mlm pairings can be. let more queer women in horror be nuts together!

[snowluthor]

~How I picture Margot and Allison’s domestic life as a couple~

Margot: Hey, babe, would you mind taking out the trash tonight? 

Allison: Hey, babe, remember that time when you stabbed me?

Margot: ...

Margot: Tea.

Margot, grabbing the trash bag: But you’re taking it next time.

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Embry Hawthorn (an OC) X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version]

• Embry’s face-claim is Margot Robbie as Allison Wells, altered using AI Mirror - Duty Calls filter

• This is the prompt in its entirety, as promised

• There will be more!

!TW: Implied suffering from PTSD + Anxiety + Separation Anxiety, mention of death (of loved ones + companions) + death in general/murder, supernatural element(s)/being stuck in an apocalypse, mention of being drugged + raped, implied suffering from depression, elements of self-doubt + self put-down(s), injury detail, presence of weaponry, insult, swearing, mention of previously being abused (by a family member + associate), mention of previously having a poor experience with family, mention of previous suicide attempts taking place + self-harm, jealousy, being ambushed + attacked/violence, near death experience(s), being unconscious, implied sexual occurrence - if I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

Embry was terrified; shaking, even, as she hastily walked down one of the brightly lit hallways of the Survivors’ base, her German Shepard Akaya trailing quietly beside her to provide comfort to her whenever she needed it to be given, ever since her father had been killed down in the mines he used to work within. Occasionally, her companion - when she sensed that Embry’s heart was beating too quickly, or her breathing pattern was staggered and uneven - tended to delicately nudge or lick at the palm of her right hand to remind her that she was there to support her, as well as protect her from some of the horrors awaiting the group outside - it hadn’t been too long ago now that the Apocalypse had officially begun, and the Skin-eaters had initiated their process of trying to take over the world by killing all the entities that seemed to be in its way, humans included especially.

She couldn’t even think as she turned a corner sharply, desperate to return to your and her quarters and make sure that you were okay ever since she had gone; she occasionally had to - like the others - go out searching for other possible survivors to make sure that there weren’t anymore out there in need of their assistance, only to find that there were constantly wounded bodies being brought back to their hideout. If it weren’t for you, the bodies would just have been shot; the injured wouldn’t be brought back to be treated, if the Survivors still didn’t know that the bites of the Skin-eaters didn’t actually infect those who were unlucky enough to be the recipients of it, but how you knew was still a mystery to them, including Embry; you were terrified of telling her, despite your and her recent situation.

Akaya whimpered beside Embry, prompting her companion to wince, before she anxiously looked around her to make sure that nobody was following her; she just didn’t want anyone to find out about you and her; your newly developing secret relationship for fear of them deeming you both to be a liability, somehow, to the group, considering the new atmosphere outside of the base was the most dangerous it had ever been, leaving no room for feelings like love or lust to be experienced, or even explored. Although, as she scowled, it didn’t seem to matter to some of the others, like Pedro who had decided to drug and rape you last week - he denied doing it, of course he did, but she knew that he had, and she despised him for it, alongside her closer friends.

“Kaya, stop it,” she commanded impatiently after her companion began to whine again for her owner’s attention and reassurance, “please, I - I need to think, and I can’t do that with you whining the way you are.” Akaya wouldn’t pay attention; she knew what her owner needed, and that was for her heart to stop pounding the way it was, so she continued to try and nudge at her palm, only irritating her even more. “I’m fine, okay?” She continued, her voice briefly trembling, before she turned one more corner, knowing she was closer now to making sure that you were still where she left you before she went out looking for more survivors earlier alongside some of the others. “Just - shut up, for once,” she uttered, though she felt bad for doing so shortly after, prompting her heart to sink whilst her eyes darkened a little, despite the small tears beginning to form within them. Even Akaya whined barely audibly in response to Embry’s remark, and her companion wouldn’t hesitate to crouch down in front of her, setting down her gun as she did to wrap her arms around her dog’s neck; she couldn’t leave such words hanging between them both, especially not after all they’d been through together recently even before the Apocalypse had begun the way it had, a few weeks ago, now. “I’m sorry, okay? I-.. I’m sorry,” she managed weakly, “I just-.. I need you to be quiet right now - you understand, right? I love you; you know I do, a-and you know Cynthia did, too, don’t you?” Akaya would innocently sniff Embry’s face, her kind eyes locking with her’s occasionally as if to reassure her that she understood her owner’s distress, before she tried to lick her tears off of her right cheek, only to have Embry giggle barely audibly whilst a faint smile played on her lips; she could never stay mad at her the way she had briefly been earlier for stressing her out even more than she already was not too long ago, now. “You’re adorable, you know that, right?” She cooed, prompting Akaya to begin wagging her tail, before she barked brightly in response to the compliment.

“Good,” she replied, “I’m glad you do, ‘cause you’re my good girl, aren’t you?” Akaya barked again, her tail somehow wagging even faster, now, before Embry pushed herself up off of the ground. “C’mon, let’s go and make sure Y/n’s okay,” she continued gently, before proceeding down the last hallway after clicking for her companion to follow beside her the way she had been, earlier, before their brief pit stop a few paces behind them, now. As soon as she got to the metal door sealing off her own quarters, opposite the one leading into your own, she faltered as soon as she heard crying behind the door, prompting her heart to sink as she slowly turned to face it, surprised; she didn’t think you’d want to move from where you had been, before, on your bed, shaking and crying, only to get up shortly after she’d gone to move into her own room, but she didn’t mind, why would she?

She only feared what you might think if you saw the pictures she had of her and Cynthia together; she’d kept them, even after her late fiancé had passed away at the hands of one of the Skin-eaters the night before their wedding was meant to take place; the very night that turned out to be the beginning of the end of the world she and the others used to know, and walk upon, now dominated by fleshy monsters and death wherever they went to try and get away from it. She drew in a shaky breath; she didn’t want to think about what happened that night anymore, reminding herself of you, and the delicate kiss you both shared beneath the stars the day before you were violated by Pedro. She couldn’t escape it, her heart sinking again, whilst Akaya eyed her skeptically; fearfully, as her owner warily slid the door open, her shaky fingers making it harder than usual for her to do so, but she wouldn’t stop until she’d finally done it, and her gaze could fall upon you stood in the corner of the room, in front of one of the shelves that contained some of the aforementioned pictures she’d saved from what remained of her probably now fallen home back where she used to live with Cynthia and her parents.

“Y/n?” She mustered up carefully in a voice close to a whisper, but she hadn’t needed to say anything - the opening of the door, as well as clicking of Akaya’s paws on the mental had already given away her presence as you hastily set the photo back down, and looked toward her fearfully, your eyes darker and redder than she’d ever seen them before.

“Ember,” you managed shakily, as if you were testing out the name on your tongue as if you’d not already done so for a little while, now, before your eyes seemed to glint a little, and she couldn’t help, but tilt her head whilst her heart skipped a beat, and a soft smile began to play on her lips again, “E-Ember, you’re - you’re back! I - I thought-..”

You then faltered, a pained expression on your face again, before you hastily shook your head, and ran up to her to throw your arms around her, surprising her, but she couldn’t help, but melt into your embrace whilst she carefully held you close to her in a way that wouldn’t startle you the way physical touch seemed to recently ever since Pedro had hurt you the way he had.

“Of course I am,” she cooed gently, soothing you even more somehow as you buried your face into the crook of her neck, revelling in how it felt to be within her arms again whilst her sweet scent filled your nostrils in the best way possible, “why wouldn’t I come back for you? Y/n-..”

“I - I know, I just-.. I-.. I’m sorry,” you murmured weakly, and she would frown, before carefully holding you at arm’s length so she could affectionately connect her forehead to your own in the best way possible, “I’m so sorry, Embry, I-.. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” she began again softly, not wanting you to feel as if you had to apologise for anything like that, especially after all that you’d been through recently, prompting her to frown again; Pedro was probably the reason why you had changed the way you had; you’d broken down, all because of what he had done to you, and she couldn’t bear seeing you like this, but she was determined to bring you back to her somehow; determined to make you feel strong again the way she knew you were, before he’d tried, and failed - in her eyes - to break you by doing all that he had done to you recently, “you have nothing to be sorry for - don’t apologise when you’ve done nothing wrong, okay?”

You would appear puzzled by her response, your eyebrows furrowing a little whilst your eyes seemed to darken again, prompting her heart to sink whilst she carefully lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting you to jump in response to the contact for a moment, before you melted into her touch, and smiled feebly over at her, until small tears began to cloud your vision again - you didn’t know why she seemed to care for you the way she did, and knew she always would, believing yourself to be nothing, compared to her, no matter what she tried to say or do in an attempt to prove otherwise following your change in demeanour as a result of Pedro’s raping and drugging you not too long ago, now.

“But-.. I-.. Ember,” you strained out weakly in a voice smaller than she’d ever heard before, and god did her heart ache, until she remembered what she’d been planning on asking you recently, leaving her feeling hopeful again as it skipped a beat within her chest, before blood began to rush up to her cheeks - you could easily say ‘no’, she knew you could, if she asked you to run away somewhere else with her, but she was determined to protect you to the best of her ability somehow, no matter what the cost, and she feared you weren’t safe here anymore after the whole Pedro situation had occurred, only fuelling her to try and get you to someplace she knew she could keep you safe from being hurt the way you had recently, the way she believed as well as hoped against hope that she could, somehow, without being taken away from you herself by the lingering Skin-eaters on the outside of the Survivors’ ‘Haven’ of a base.

“Let’s run away together, j-just the two of us,” she blurted out exasperatedly, unable to hold the question back anymore, prompting you to fall quiet, evidently surprised by the question as you didn’t think she’d want to do something like that with you, especially not considering the situation you both seemed to be finding yourselves in alongside the other survivors, “well..” As Akaya whined, and pawed at Embry’s trousers. “The three of us, including Kaya,” she added; she couldn’t leave her companion behind like that, though she did fear her safety, against the Skin-eaters waiting for them out there, “w-what do you say?”

You hesitated, a pained expression on your face, before you bowed your head a little - it wasn’t that you didn’t want to; you did, but you felt as if you weren’t enough for her, and felt as if you’d only get her hurt out there; you’d only burden her, somehow, even more than you felt you already were, and you couldn’t let the Skin-eaters get to her the way you believed you would if you went somewhere else with her.

“Ember,” you murmured dejectedly, and her heart would sink again whilst her expression faltered, and stunning icy blue eyes darkened alongside your own, “I-.. w-we-.. we can’t - I’m not-.. I’m not good for you.”

“W-What are you talking about? Y/n, you’re more than good enough for me-”

You scoffed, before pulling out of her embrace to take up the picture you’d been looking at earlier, prompting her to tense up for a moment whilst she subconsciously shook her head, and wished she could do more for you to prove to you somehow that you meant more to her than you ever believed you could, but she was terrified of driving you away from her by doing so, especially after Pedro had raped you, prompting her heart to somehow sink even more than it ever had, even after she’d lost Cynthia she was sure it was a feeling she’d never experienced before with her.

“C-Cynthia, she-.. she made you happy, right?” You managed weakly, whilst you walked slowly back up to her, the picture in your right hand, and she would hesitate, before nodding gravely - she couldn’t lie about her, knowing it would feel as if she were betraying her by doing so, though she were no longer here with her the way she used to be, before the Apocalypse had begun, and she had started feeling as if she had nothing left anymore, except for Akaya, before she found the Survivors, and then you alongside them shortly after the group had been formed. “Y-You were perfect together,” you continued dejectedly, knowing you’d never be able to make her happy the way Cynthia had, before she had lost her, “l-look at you.”

She faltered, before glancing down at the picture with a pained expression on her face; she and Cynthia were in the picture together, hugging each other close to one another lazily whilst they beamed over at each other, and she couldn’t bear to see it after all that had recently occurred, though she’d told herself it would be good to keep a reminder of the times she and her late fiancé had shared together.

“Y/n-”

You then shook your head, before picking up another picture, one similar to the other you were still holding, except in this one Cynthia was kissing Embry’s cheek, prompting the tears to begin leaking from your eyes even more; it was painful, knowing you could never make her as happy as her late partner had seemed to, especially after you’d felt as if your worth was littler than it ever had been after Pedro had violated you not too long ago, now.

“I - I could never be what she was to you,” you murmured weakly, your voice briefly trembling, whilst Embry hastily shook her head, before she carefully removed the photos from your fingers to set them down on the bed beside her gun, allowing her to carefully wrap her arms around your waist whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your own again, prompting you to appear surprised as you glanced up at her, your eyes locking with hers instantly whilst a soft smile began to tug at your lips; you couldn’t help it, despite the situation; she made your soul brighter than it used to be; made you feel as if maybe things would be okay even after all that had happened to you even before Pedro had violated you, as well as the beginning of the Apocalypse

“You are more than what she was to me,” Embry contradicted gently, before smiling lovingly over at you, and slowly lifting her right hand up to the back of your head, prompting you to subconsciously melt into her touch whilst she buried her fingers blissfully within your hair, her eyes never leaving your’s to the point that you couldn’t help, but feel flustered as blood began to rush to your cheeks quite prominently, prompting her to smirk as she knew exactly what the look on your face meant, “is that a blush that I see? Are you - Y/n L/n - blushing? Because of me?”

You would scoff, before hastily shaking your head whilst you averted your gaze again, though she’d already seen that you had begun to blush before you could try and hide it from her, prompting you to wince whilst she raised her eyebrows, and a mischievous glint began to form in her eyes - she wouldn’t let this go, you knew that for a fact, now.

“I’m not blushing,” you claimed, much unconvincingly, and she couldn’t help, but giggle, before delicately as well as playfully brushing her nose against your own, prompting you to beam over at her whilst you revelled in her magical laugh; how it made your heart skip a beat whenever you heard it like you just had, only making your blush even more prominent than it ever had been before, “I don’t blush; you’re the one who blushes, not me-”

“Oh, please,” she interjected a little exasperatedly as she thought back to the kiss you and her shared a couple or so days ago, already making her feel warm and fuzzy all over - the moment had been more perfect than anything she’d ever imagined, something she didn’t think would ever be possible after she’d lost Cynthia the way she had, before the Apocalypse had officially begun, and she’d found herself becoming a part of the Survivors to try and find a way out of it somehow, “I’d never-”

You would raise your own eyebrows, before grinning over at her, and then leaning forward to delicately connect your lips to her soft and perfectly shaped ones, prompting her to falter in speech entirely whilst she melted into the kiss in the best way possible, her heart pounding alongside your own as she recalled in the moment, and found she could no longer think anymore again, her entire being wrapped up completely in you, and your presence before her, and she hoped it would stay this way forever, somehow, as long as your and her future allowed it after it had punished her the way it had regarding her loss of Cynthia before their wedding day.

Once the kiss had sadly ended, she found she could no longer breathe, her eyes fluttering open whilst they locked with your own, and you couldn’t help, but wonder what you’d done to deserve someone so perfect again, but before your heart could sink you noticed that her cheeks did appear somewhat redder than they were before, prompting you to smirk as you appeared elated at actually managing to get her to blush the way you had the night you and her had first kissed.

“You were saying-?” You teased, and she would roll her eyes playfully, before relocating her right hand to your left cheek, soothing you more than anything else ever had before.

“Shut up, you,” she replied, before timidly initiating another gentle kiss, once she knew that you were okay with her doing so as she didn’t want to scare you, or make you feel uncomfortable by doing so, “s-so, would you-.. wanna run away with me, somewhere, or-?”

You would hesitate, worried about her getting hurt again as you feared losing her somehow, knowing that the Skin-eaters were persistent, and wouldn’t be easy to take down or evade at all outside of the base, but you didn’t want to upset her by insisting that it was too dangerous for her and you to attempt to survive, so you thought better of it and instead blurted out a barely audible ‘sure’, but of course she picked up on your doubt, prompting her heart to sink again.

“L-Look, if you-.. if you don’t want to do this-”

“No-!” You interjected breathlessly, prompting her to fall quiet again whilst she intently locked eyes with you again blissfully, as if she were trying to read you; you didn’t doubt that she could - she knew more about you than you knew about yourself, somehow, without knowing everything, and that was terrifying in the best way possible. “I - I want to do this, Ember, I - I swear, I just-.. I can’t lose you,” you whined, “I just can’t-”

“Then you won’t, I promise,” she swore confidently, sure that she could do this for you, no matter what the cost, as she was determined more than she ever had been before to protect you, especially after all that had happened recently with you being raped by Pedro, “I’ll protect you, always, no matter what, and at the end of the day I’ll never stop, because I could never let the Skin-eaters take me away from you.” She then held your hands delicately within her own, whilst you tried desperately to believe her words, but it was still terrifying to you nonetheless; things could easily go wrong, if you and her tried to go anywhere without the others. “Y/n, I-.. we-.. we will always be together, I promise,” she concluded gently, before wincing upon hearing someone call for her outside, prompting her to grunt whilst you appeared disheartened at knowing that you would soon be separated from her again, no matter how brief the separation would probably turn out to be, “just - let me know, if, o-or when, even, you feel ready, and I won’t hesitate to up, and leave with you, okay?”

“Okay,” you answered faintly, before smiling timidly up at her whilst you nodded slowly to show her that you understood, soothing her, before she leaned forward to press a delicate kiss to your left cheek, not wanting to go back outside without doing so, and reminding you that she loved you more than anything, and always would, before she dragged herself out of her and your quarters, and began to feel empty again.

🜚

As soon as she had left the room, your smile dropped, and eyes seemed to darken again; you hated being away from her, but you knew why she didn’t want to tell anyone about you both, knowing it was an awkward situation with the whole Apocalypse going on around you both and whatever, so naturally you fought against questioning it, and pretended alongside her to just see her as an accomplice instead of the woman you found yourself hopelessly in love with. You sighed heavily, before sitting back down upon her bed, and faltering as soon as you noticed that she’d left her gun in the room with you - wouldn’t she need it?

You hesitated, finding yourself staring at it for a moment whilst you debated over whether you should take it out to her, just in case, especially after how Pedro had assaulted you. You tensed up; this place wasn’t as safe as it was being made out to be ever since you had first been brought here - what if he tried to hurt her, too? You couldn’t allow it - you hastily got up off of the bed, the gun in your right hand, before sliding the door open, and rushing down the hallway you hoped she’d taken, expressing relief as soon as you heard her voice nearby only to falter as soon as you saw her crouched down before Akaya, now whimpering as if she’d just been hurt by someone, or something.

“Ember!” You cried upon noticing her, before rushing up to her and Akaya, surprising her as she couldn’t help, but stare over at you for a moment not just out of disbelief, but admiration, but now wasn’t the time to get yourself flustered over such a look as you winced, and tried to hide that your cheeks were beginning to heat up again. “What happened? T-To Akaya?” You managed, and she would falter upon being reminded of the situation, your question breaking her out of the trance she had found herself in a brief moment ago.

“I - I don’t know,” she admitted dejectedly as she looked on helplessly at her companion, “she just-.. seemed to trip up, and doesn’t want to get up, now - I’m gonna take her back to our room-.. s-sorry, my room, I - I didn’t mean-..”

You then frowned, hastily averting your gaze to try and hide that her correction had disheartened you, though you couldn’t imagine why; why did she have to notice the flustered expression on your face the way that she had? You fought back a sigh, before forcing a smile over at her, and timidly placing your hand on top of her right one gently, soothing her as she smiled warmly back at you, her eyes glinting in the best way possible - god, it was so hard not to say ‘I love you’ whenever she looked and smiled at you the way she was, right now; it was killing you, but you couldn’t help, but think - she’s worth dying for, and it wasn’t as scary as it had felt before you’d begun to develop such feelings for her.

“It’s okay,” you reassured her, and she would express relief, an audible sigh escaping her lips, before she timidly inched closer to you, “I - I get it, Ember; I didn’t think-.. y’know-..”

“Well-”

“Hawthorn,” a gruff voice sounded out a few paces away, and you winced upon hearing it, whilst she grunted, and appeared disheartened at the interruption; you’d both not noticed one of the Commanders walking down the hallway, too immersed in each other’s presence to do so at the time, even now finding yourselves unable to unlock your gazes, and hands, until he got closer and you felt you should to respect her wishes, instead focusing on Akaya whilst you forced yourself to withdraw your hand from her right one.

“Commander,” Embry uttered impatiently, before she forced herself up off of the ground, trying not to think about how her heart had sank as soon as your hand had left her’s the way it had, whilst she also tried not to allow herself to think about how your gaze had been withdrawn from her own also - now was not the time for that, and there probably would never be time for that, at this rate, with all these interruptions from the higher ranks within the base taking place.

“I don’t much like your tone,” the man retorted whilst he grimaced over at her, paying no attention to you whatsoever as you tried to provide comfort to Akaya, even partially laying down beside her whilst you carefully wrapped your arms around her, allowing her to whine quietly against your right shoulder - you guessed she just needed to lie down here for a moment with you; that her leg might be paining her after she’d fallen over, as it didn’t look like she’d broken anything, and she didn’t react particularly badly to you examining each of her legs and paws whilst Embry and one of the Commanders were talking, “especially not after all I’ve done for you, allowing you to bring Y/n here back to our only safe place when she could very well have been infected-”

“Well she wasn’t, was she? Look at her,” Embry interjected, before gesticulating over to you using her head, “she’s perfectly healthy, don’t you think? And so are the other people we’ve been bringing in, so I don’t see what your problem is-”

“Then allow me to make it clearer for you,” he hissed, “you’re an ungrateful little wretch who should have been left to die the moment we found her - you’re relieved of your duties, and so is she; you can pack up, and leave tomorrow-”

“But-”

“You’re done, Hawthorn,” he insisted, “you’re a liability, and we can’t keep you here anymore, for all of our sakes; you could easily leave all of us to die, and the rest agree with me-”

“Then you’re all idiots,” she spat, “but I guess it’s fine by me; we were planning on leaving anyway, weren’t we, Y/n?”

You would tense up, appearing shocked by all that had just taken place before you; you didn’t think you and Embry would ever get kicked out of the group like that, especially during times like these - weren’t survivors meant to protect each other with the faintest chance of managing to see the end of an Apocalypse like this one?

“Er-.. I-”

“Good,” he hissed, “‘cause leave is exactly what you’re gonna do - right?”

“Right,” Embry answered confidently, before the Commander grinned over at her smugly, and she wished she could wipe the smile off of his face as he spat down at the ground before her feet, before making to walk back to the surveillance chambers within the base. “Asshole,” she uttered, before crouching down beside you again whilst you timidly glanced over at her, not sure what to say for a moment, “oh well - we don’t need them anyway, do we?”

“What if we do, Embry?” You questioned weakly, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face as she glanced over at you - why would they be needed when all they’d ever done was be cruel to her, and hurt you? Well, those who weren’t her friends, anyway - the others were the bad guys here, aside from the Skin-eaters they each awaited outside.

“Why would we? I thought you said-”

“Okay, maybe I did agree to run away with you at some point, but-…” You then fell quiet, before wincing, a hurt look on your face; you knew you’d messed up, but it wasn’t like you hadn’t thought at all about how perfect things could be if you and Embry both did run away together somehow without being killed in the process of doing so.

“You weren’t actually going to do it, were you?” She guessed, her gaze fixated upon the ground beneath her whilst you hesitated, small tears beginning to cloud your vision whilst you nodded gravely in response to her question. “Y/n-”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out hastily, your voice briefly trembling, and she would falter, wondering why you were apologising as she glanced over at you, and it would hurt you even more to see that she was also trying not to cry alongside you, only making you feel worse for not telling her earlier that you thought it would be best if you both stayed here, instead, just so you didn’t have to see her get killed trying to fight for your life as well as Akaya’s, and her own, “I’m so sorry, Ember, I-”

“Hey,” she cooed gently whilst she carefully made to wrap her arms around you, before you broke down, and melted into her embrace whilst you cried and sobbed quietly into the crook of her neck; you’d never meant to hurt her the way you could tell you had a brief moment ago by lying the way you had, “it’s okay, Y/n; you don’t have to apologise, okay? I get it, I really do-”

“I just-.. w-wanted to keep you here, b-because I’m scared, okay? I - I can’t lose you; I can’t do this without you, I love-..” You hastily caught yourself before you could finish the sentence, whilst she fell quiet alongside you, her eyes glinting a little whilst she held you at arm’s length - neither of you had ever really dropped directly the love bomb yet, so of course it had to be you who messed up the way you thought you just had, worried about what it might do to your and her relationship; whether it would upset or overwhelm Embry to the point that she no longer wanted to be with you, but how could she ever think that way about you, or react like that when she’d been longing to share such words with you, too, recently?

You then appeared ashamed of yourself as you bowed your head, terrified of making eye contact with her again for fear of the doubt you assumed you’d see within her stunning icy blue orbs in response to your confession a brief moment ago, when really - unbeknownst to you - her eyes were filled instead with the love she held for you, and had always held for you ever since she and the others had first found you, bleeding out and shaking within an abandoned shack not too far away from here, the night you’d run away from your father and his abusive tendencies, if only you’d look up at her and see that she’d always feel the same way for you the way she knew she would, no matter what the future held for you both.

“I love you, too,” she returned gently, and you would appear taken aback, before glancing up at her whilst your eyes began to glint, and heart began to race blissfully alongside her own again; you didn’t think she’d ever feel the same way for a supposed nobody like you, the way she did, and always had, but you were too elated to pay attention to how your heart had sunk at the reminder of who you were, compared to her, before you leaned forward to timidly connect your lips to her own, and everything began to feel bright again around you both, as if the dangers around as well as inside the base were no longer there, as long as you both were holding each other close the way you were, now, focused on only each other again as if you were the last two people standing on earth, somehow, until Akaya whined again, and you were reminded of the situation, begrudgingly pulling away to look over at your and Embry’s companion.

“Shit,” you whispered, “w-what about Akaya?”

Embry would then wince, remembering you and her had practically been kicked out by the higher ranks of the group, whilst Akaya was still struggling to find it within her to get up, and continue alongside you both, not ready yet to go on moving after she’d fallen over a brief moment ago, until her companion got an idea, and smiled softly over at you.

“I guess we’ll just have to carry her, right?” She stated, and you would wince, wondering why you’d not thought of that before - she wasn’t too big, certainly making it easier for Embry to pick her up carefully off of the ground, before she and you made to hastily return to your and her quarters, determined somehow to find a way through this, with - or without - the Survivors’ help.

🜚

Eventually, Embry came to the decision of trying to talk to the other higher ranks within the group; she knew you were worried about her, and could tell that it hurt you to think that you could lose her if ever you both did take to running away, and it pained her to see you so panic as well as grief-stricken, to the point that she couldn’t allow you to go on worrying like that, if she could help it. Once she’d finished talking to them, she lingered in the doorway of her room, timidly watching you as you and Akaya were snuggled up together on her bed, prompting her to smile softly; she liked to see that you and her were getting along better than you had, before, the day she’d brought you into the base, wounded by the Skin-eater that had managed to attack you on your way out of the laboratory your father had been running ever since you were born, or maybe even before your birth - you couldn’t be sure; you only remembered it being active since then, only to create such a hostile atmosphere around you, Embry, and the others with the beginning of the Apocalypse.

“It’s done,” she mustered up in a voice barely audible, surprising you as you glanced over at her, your eyes widening as well as glinting as soon as your gaze fell upon her perfect frame, prompting blood to rush up to her cheeks as she cleared her throat, before taking a small step into the room, allowing the door to slide shut behind her, “they-.. they’re letting us stay, Y/n, l-like-.. like I asked them to.”

“They are?” You replied, genuinely surprised as you used your elbow to prop yourself up a little, allowing you to get a better view of your partner, a thought that unsurprisingly flustered you as you winced, and managed a timid smile back at her whilst you fondled Akaya’s ears using your left hand.

“On one condition,” she continued, and your heart seemed to sink, whilst your eyes darkened - this couldn’t be good, could it? “We don’t fuck anything up, this time,” she repeated, before rolling her eyes, “I didn’t even do anything wrong, and neither did you - they’re such-”

“Ember,” you warned gently, afraid of someone overhearing, and somehow taking her away from you as a result of doing so, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face, before she nodded gravely, and averted her gaze; she knew she should probably try better to watch her tongue, especially when you were both within the base, and could easily be caught by any of the Commanders doing something they considered to be wrong, like slagging them off, talking back, or being sarcastic, though it shouldn’t matter a great deal as sticking together should, especially during times like these where death could always possibly be imminent at the hands of the Skin-eaters outside, or even - not impossibly - rival and out of control groups on the outside who could also take any of your lives in a heartbeat. You then sighed, feeling bad for stopping her, though you knew it was for good reason as you timidly got up off of the bed to wrap your arms affectionately around her waist. “You’re right,” you stated, not wanting her to think that you thought otherwise when that was anything, but true, “Ember, they - they’re exactly what you and me think they are, but-.. there’s nothing we can do about them; we can’t call the police on them for misconduct; we can’t sue them - there’s nothing we can do. We just have to-..”

“Let them treat us like shit?” She guessed, and you would wince, before she scoffed, and escaped your embrace carefully to pour herself an alcoholic beverage, needing it more than anything right now. Well - the thought of your lips against her’s was appetising, too, but she didn’t want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable, especially if it’s a sudden movement like it would be, considering it would be unexpected - probably - to you, during a moment like this.

“I-.. I know how that sounds, Ember, but-.. just-.. hear me out, okay-”

“It’s not fair, Y/n,” she interjected gently, and you would nod gravely whilst she leaned against the alcohol cabinet, her glass in her right hand whilst her gun was still in her left - sometimes she felt uneasy when she didn’t have it with her, especially after Pedro had raped you in what she had thought was your and her safe space away from the monsters outside, only to become another risk factor in your and her lives. “None of this is fair,” she added dejectedly, and you would nod again, before sighing, and sitting down beside Akaya again; you didn’t know what to say, worried about only making the situation worse - you were terrified of upsetting her, somehow, knowing that you could lose her if you did, and to do so would break you, so what else could you do, but stay quiet the way you were, now, focusing on Akaya whilst you tended to her legs and ears. It soothed you; Akaya was showing signs of getting better, and Embry would appear surprised, as well as relieved, smiling softly over at you again whilst she thoughtfully as well as watched you in a crestfallen manner - maybe, if the Apocalypse hadn’t started - things might have been different, but at the same time she knew that she would have been with Cynthia, and not you, a thought that only dejected her even more somehow, though she knew she had truly loved her late fiancé in a way, but being with you had made her feel different, as if Cynthia was something more like a friend to her, except they would have been deemed something like ‘friends with benefits’, but she didn’t want to think that that meant she hadn’t felt anything like love for Cynthia because she had cared deeply for her more than she ever could anyone else, until she had met you. “Kaya, she-.. she’s really warming up to you,” she continued in a gentler and warmer voice, soothing you as you couldn’t help, but smile subconsciously over at her partner’s four legged companion, “i-it’s funny, because-.. it-.. it makes me think that you’d be a great mom.”

You would falter, appearing surprised by her remark as you glanced up at her, your eyes widening a little, and she then winced, assuming she’d said something wrong as she warily glanced down at the ground, and made to rub her neck with her left hand, until you smiled timidly up at her, and managed to muster up a response to soothe her instantly.

“I - I think you’d be a great mum, too,” you replied truthfully, your voice close to a whisper, and she would appear taken aback by your claim, before glancing up at you again, her eyes glinting whilst blood rushed up to her cheeks - a sight you would always believe to be adorable when she was flustered, the way she was, now, alongside you. “E-Ember, I-”

“Can - Can I kiss you, right now?” She inquired, the question slipping from her lips exasperatedly before she could even stop it, prompting you to raise your eyebrows whilst you couldn’t help, but smirk faintly up at her, a mischievous glint forming in your eyes; you’d never seen her like this before, but you liked it nonetheless - everything about her would always be perfect to you, no matter what. “O-Or, maybe, would - would you wanna grab lunch with me in the cafeteria? They’re probably serving, now-.. the food’s not great, n-not that you don’t already know that-”

“Baby-”

“O-Or we could watch a movie together on that screen thing they have downstairs, if you don’t fancy it, but-.. you know what - screw it,” you couldn’t help, but giggle in response to her flustered ramblings, finding it adorable that she was so shy, but excited right now by your presence, as nobody had ever seemed to feel such a way for you, and had never treated you as good as she always had, “let’s go on a date, somewhere; there’s a spare room here somewhere, I know there is, and I could set it up for us like we’re actually in a restaurant, or something; nobody’ll ever catch us there, I promise, I just-..” She then noticed the thoughtful expression on your face; the small tears that were lingering in the corners of your eyes - it was overwhelming, the feeling that someone cared about you the way that she did, when you felt as if you could never make her as happy as she’d made you ever since she’d first found you on the run from your father as well as the Skin-eaters. “You’re crying,” she mused dejectedly, a pained expression on her face whilst you winced, and hastily made to wipe the tears away before they could leak from your eyes the way they had been fighting to for a little while, now, “baby, what - what’s wrong? Talk to me-”

“It - It’s nothing, I promise,” you cooed whilst she cradled you close to her, her arms wrapped around you in the best way possible whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck for a moment, trying to recompose yourself whilst you clung to her uniform, and wondered why she was still here with you; why she was taking care of you the way she was, as if you were, and forever would be, everything to her, no matter what, when you believed all you could ever do was burden her, only making your heart ache even more excruciatingly than it was, before, “y-you’re just-.. you’re adorable, you know that, right?”

She would appear taken aback by your comment, evidently not expecting it as she raised her eyebrows, and smirked down at you lovingly, as if you were her entire world, and god did such a look make you smile timidly back up at her despite your previous thoughts; she always knew what to do to make you feel whole again, just by being here with you, and loving you the way she was, and knew she always would, no matter what the future held for you both.

“Not as adorable as you,” she contradicted playfully, but before you could contradict her, she carefully picked you up off of the bed, prompting you to giggle uncontrollably after you’d squeaked into her right shoulder blissfully, clinging to her though you trusted her more than anything not to drop you, “and guess what? You’ll never be able to change my mind, ‘cause I’ll always see you to be as what you truly are - perfect, and that’s all that matters, always, no matter what.”

“Oh, well in that case,” you began timidly whilst you smirked up at her, and affectionately connected your forehead to her own, “shut up and kiss me, already, before I actually decide to try and change your mind.”

“Sure, m’lady,” she remarked whilst she carefully lowered you down upon the bed, flustering you as she timidly laid down beside you, her arms still around your waist to ease you closer to her slowly, but she knew - and didn’t intend - to let herself get too heated with you, knowing that if she tried anything like that she might scare you, especially after Pedro had harassed you the way he did recently, and she knew she’d never be able to forgive herself if she hurt you by losing control of yourself the way he had around you, as she smiled lovingly over at you, and breathlessly connected her forehead to your own, “with pleasure, but first-..” She carefully propped herself up upon her elbow to check on Akaya beside you, appearing to now be sleeping, before she smiled widely over at you, so many ideas flying through her mind to the point that it was overwhelming, until she started with one that was pressing her more than any of the others ever had previously throughout the entirety of the day. “What kinda birthday cake would you want me to make you for our date later?” She inquired, and you would appear taken aback by the question, evidently not expecting it - how did she find out that it was your birthday, today?

🜸

“It is your birthday today, right?” She inquired, her voice barely audible for a moment as you winced, and hastily pulled yourself out of your trance, smiling timidly over at her whilst you nodded hastily, and she would express relief, evidently worried that she had got the date wrong for a moment. 18th of July - a day, each year, that you often spent crying upon your bed, locked within your room, or in the bathroom, was about to be remade by Embry Hawthorn, the only woman you believed you could ever see as being the love of your life, and it still felt as if you didn’t deserve someone as perfect as her. “Good,” she replied exasperatedly, an audible sigh of relief slipping from her soft and perfectly shaped lips, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you smiled faintly back at her, your eyes glinting a little - how could one person make you feel the way that she did, and always had ever since you’d first met, and fallen hopelessly in love with her? “I - I thought I’d got the date mixed up with something else, for a minute there,” she mused, and you would wince, before hastily shaking your head, and reassuringly holding her left hand within your right one, soothing her instantly as her eyes blissfully locked with your’s for a moment. “Did - Did you seriously forget that it was your birthday?” She asked, a mischievous glint in her stunning icy blue eyes, prompting you to begin standing a little whilst your body seemed to heat up; you’d never found yourself in such a flustered state before, especially not over something like this, probably because nobody has ever cared about you the way she did, and knew she always would, no matter what.

“N-No, of course not, I - I just-..” You then faltered, a pained expression on your face, prompting Embry’s smile to fade alongside your own; she hated seeing you like this, and she wondered what it must be that seemed to be plaguing your mind the way it was, as you’d not told her yet about how poorly your father had treated you ever since your mother had gone - she had often stopped him, or tried to, protect you from his antics, but her sudden and unexpected demise had allowed him to abuse you just as much as he liked to, in any way that he wished to, and he often spent your birthdays locking you away, and denying you any attention whilst he worked within his lab, creating the original Skin-eaters that were now doubled, and rearing to take over the world the way they were currently trying to outside the base, whilst you and her were together, and briefly denying their existences entirely. “Obviously I remembered, I mean,” you continued weakly, your gaze fixated upon your now trembling fingers, only worrying her even more as she tried to soothe you by gently squeezing your hands, encouraging you to continue without her even knowing that she had, “how could I ever forget my own birthday?”

“Good, so you do remember, but-.. then.. what’s wrong? W-Why are you sad? Don’t you like birthdays?” She asked, and you would hesitate, before shrugging; you’d not exactly had any good memories to connect to your previous birthdays, unbeknownst to her, prompting your heart to sink again - you’d missed out on so much, and it was excruciating - how could something so small and unknown be so painful, as it was now?

You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before making to try and continue; to try and muster up some response to her, before you could lose her somehow; you feared she might think you strange if you didn’t respond soon, and explain why you’d had such a reaction to her question, not that she’d ever truly feel that way about you - how could she?

“I - I don’t know,” you managed faintly, and she would frown, feeling bad for asking now as she warily glanced down at her hands holding your’s; your fingers had ceased to shake, unbeknownst to you, ever since she’d held them within her own, prompting her to smile softly - at least there was that, as she revelled in the effect she seemed to have on you sometimes even without you knowing it, “I guess I’ve never really-.. had a true birthday; m-my mum never really-.. she was scared of what my dad might do, if she ever brought it up somehow, a-and he never really gave a shit, so-..” You then winced, warily glancing up at her, before you hastily stammered out a quiet ‘sorry’; you’d never intended to reveal as much as you had, worried about how it might make her feel if you did, as a pained expression crossed over Embry’s face - it all made sense, now, why you seemed to tense up whenever she asked you about your life before the Apocalypse had begun, as well as whenever she asked you or reflected upon stuff like Christmas and birthdays, like she had a brief moment ago, before you’d revealed as much to her regarding your father’s ability within your family’s household, before you had run away from him, and the monsters he was creating unbeknownst to the rest of the world outside of his laboratory.

Before you’d apologised for your revelation, Embry had found herself scowling subconsciously down at the duvet you and her were perched upon, whilst her blood began to boil - your father had no right to treat you the way he had, and that hurt as well as infuriated her more than anything ever had before, until she faltered upon hearing the most broken ‘sorry’ she’d ever heard before, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she hastily shook her head, and held you at arm’s length confidently whilst small tears began to form within her stunning icy blue eyes.

“No,” she whined, a pained expression on her face whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your own in the best way possible, “stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault, Y/n, it’s - it’s not-..” A strained sob then managed to escape her lips, surprising you as well as making your heart sink as you wrapped your arms around her tightly, unable to stop your tears as they began to stream down your own cheeks alongside her own; you couldn’t bear to hurt her the way you could see that you just had, telling her about what your father had been like toward you as well as your mother, before she had passed away, and you had managed to flee him before the apocalypse had officially managed to begin after the Skin-eaters had also managed to escape his lab, after brutally killing him, before they began their doubling process to ensure wider amounts of monsters being spread across the country, soon to reach wider parts of the world if the Survivors somehow didn’t manage to stop them before they could do so.

“Ember,” you cooed gently, your voice briefly trembling, but she would shake her head whilst she relocated her right hand delicately to your left cheek, prompting you to fall quiet instantly whilst your gaze locked with her own again blissfully, to the point that you found you could no longer focus on the pounding of your heart, just her, and how she was holding you right now whilst you held her back, and had just confessed partly to your father’s abusive tendencies, something you had never intended to share with anyone before the way you just had so indirectly and openly with her, if only she didn’t make it feel so easy to do so.

“I - I love you so much,” she expressed shakily, “you know that, right?”

“I - It’s okay, Embry, I swear-”

“No, it - it’s not,” she contradicted weakly, wishing you’d stop trying to act as if you were okay when she could tell exactly when you were anything, but - she knew you too well, even though you both hadn’t been together as long as she had been with Cynthia, yet, not that you thought she’d ever want you for as long as she’d had her late fiancé, prompting your heart to sink and ache all over again despite her previous words, and oftentimes insisting otherwise; that she’d always want you, no matter what the future held in store for you both after today, “Y/n, I-.. I’m so sorry-.. I should never have assumed anything like that, I just-..”

“Ember, please,” you pleaded feebly, “I-.. you don’t need to-”

“I will never let anyone ever hurt you again,” she interjected firmly, determined to protect you no matter what the cost, and she meant it more than she’d ever meant anything else before; she wouldn’t lose you, like she’d lost Cynthia, not this time, “now - what would you like me to make you for later?”

🜚

Whilst Embry was in the process of baking you a cake without the other’s knowing, you were warily looking around, evidently worried about being caught by the others again whenever you heard a sound unordinary, like someone or something was moving above the area you and her were currently in, as if the Skin-eaters outside were climbing all over the base, whilst the usual footfalls of other soldiers within the group sounded out distantly in the connected hallways; you just hoped they wouldn’t kick you both out again for using the utilities as well as some of the supplies without their permission.

Embry, on the other hand, couldn’t care less; she was sick of their rules, and formal surroundings; the atmosphere was more oppressive than anything she’d ever experienced before, though she guessed some of it was obviously necessary during an Apocalypse like this one. She just wanted to do all she could to make you happy, and a soft smile couldn’t help, but play on her lips whilst she carefully slid the baking tray into the oven (thank god there was still some power to keep it working via the backup generator the base seemed to have), before making to prepare a couple of plates for when it was finally ready, as well as some not-so-great coffee the group had left behind at the back of the cupboard - that was the best they could do, at least for now, as long as things continued to go their way the way it had been recently with the Skin-eaters as well as rival groups, not that they’d encountered many of those for a little while, now. Some just didn’t have the confidence to become the opponents of the Survivors, big as the group seemed to be, but those who did were persistent, and had already managed to kill or kidnap some of their soldiers - the thought of such a thing happening to either you or Embry made you shudder, and wince a little whilst you subconsciously glanced over at her to make sure that she was okay.

She was humming, now, prompting your eyes to widen a little whilst your eyebrows raised slightly - how could she be so calm, the way that she was, now? She could never cease to amaze you as you smiled timidly in her direction, finding yourself subconsciously admiring her for a moment whilst blood began to rush up to your cheeks all over again - what had you done to deserve someone as perfect as her? You tried not to sigh wonderingly, before forcing yourself out of the brief trance you had found yourself in to quietly get up out of your seat, finding yourself longing to embrace her again, though you were worried about upsetting her or scaring her somehow by doing so as your hands even began to shake a little.

“E-Ember,” you managed in a barely audible voice, surprising her as she hastily turned to face you, her heart skipping a beat whilst she did - for a moment she’d found herself panic-stricken, wondering why you sounded so scared, until she expressed relief upon noticing that you were okay, and that she and you were still alone in the room, and hadn’t been caught at all yet, though the thought of being kicked out didn’t scare her or perturb her the way it seemed to you, due to you believing that you could lose her if you and her were ever to run away together, away from the only group who could possibly protect the both of you from being mauled and taken over by the Skin-eaters outside.

“You okay?” She inquired, and you would wince, before timidly fidgeting with your fingers whilst you averted your gaze down to the ground, stammering more than you hoped you would, before, only making you feel weaker than you’d ever been before as you silently cursed yourself, and wondered why you were the way that you were, believing yourself to be a ‘freak’ again even after all that Embry had told you earlier, as well as before you’d both begun secretly dating without the others knowing that you were. “Hey, what - what’s wrong?” She asked, before carefully holding you close to her, soothing you instantly whilst you melted into her embrace, before burying your face into the crook of her neck blissfully; you just wished you could be stronger for her, whilst she - unbeknownst to you - saw you to be nothing less than perfect, and knew she always would; she loved everything about you, and that was something she was certain would never change, no matter what the future held for you both without you knowing what it was, or if you’d even be out of this Apocalypse by then.

“It - It’s nothing,” you managed timidly, before smiling faintly up at her whilst she held you at arm’s length, her stunning icy blue eyes never leaving your’s, “I just-.. I wanted-.. don’t worry about it, I - I feel much better, now, h-holding you.”

She couldn’t help, but smile lovingly over at you whilst she lifted her right hand up to the back of your head, allowing her to blissfully entangle her fingers within your hair whilst you both focused on nothing, but each other, revelling in how your foreheads were affectionately connected the way that they were, now, whilst the tip of your nose was barely brushing against her own - everything would have been perfect, if it weren’t for the Skin-eaters outside.

“I love you, you know that, right?” She cooed gently, and you would appear taken aback by her words, before nodding timidly whilst you grew to be even more flustered than you were before, somehow, just because of a few measly words like the ones she’d just shared with you - how was it that such a thing was even possible?

“I - I know,” you mustered faintly, your voice briefly trembling whilst your heart pounded overwhelmingly against your ribcage, and you were sure you were blushing quite prominently, now - great; you still thought yourself to be embarrassing, especially whilst you must be looking like a tomato from Italy (the especially red ones).

“Good, so you also know that you can tell me anything, too, don’t you?” She pried, and you realised you hadn’t been blinking, at all, immersed by her eyes, and the different specks and shades of blue within them, leaving you wondering what it would be like to swim within them if the ocean were the same colour as her eyes were, prompting your heart to skip a beat to the point that you found yourself wincing, and wondering if you were about to have a heart attack, right here, still in her arms the way you found yourself longing to be every minute of every day, and - to be honest - death didn’t seem as scary as it often seemed to be, as long as you were with her, and could admire her like you were, now, but of course the reminded of how - if you were dying - you’d never be able to see her again, made you hate death even more all over again.

“Y-Yeah,” you answered quietly, your voice faltering whilst you did, before you winced again, and cursed yourself once more for being so weak around her the way that you were, and had been ever since you’d first met her, somehow, before you both had even begun to realise and acknowledge your feelings for one another the way you had not too long ago, now. “O-Of course I do,” you added hastily, “why - why wouldn’t I? E-Ember, you-.. you’re my rock, my - my-.. safe space; you’re everything to me, and you always will be, I promise - I-.. I love you.”

“I’m glad,” she replied timidly whilst her eyes began to glint alongside your own, “b-because - you are everything to me, too - I love you so much.”

You then warily glanced down at her lips, finding yourself longing to feel them against your’s again, but you didn’t want to do anything without making sure that she was okay with you doing it, but you found you couldn’t muster up the question you longed to ask her during this moment in time, the words stuck in your throat. Embry would frown when she noticed the pained expression on your face; the way your eyes had darkened again, before she timidly relocated her right hand to your left cheek delicately, soothing you instantly as your heart skipped a beat again, before you hastily glanced up at her, your eyes locking with her’s again instantly.

“E-Ember, I-..” You whined, and she would nod slowly to show that she understood what seemed to be plaguing your mind, not wanting you to think otherwise, or to have to suffer the way that she could see that you currently were, small tears slowly trailing down your soft cheeks, only to be gently brushed away by the thumb of her right hand in the best way possible.

“Kiss me,” she cooed gently, and you would falter, your heart racing, but it didn’t take you long to recompose yourself, and she certainly didn’t have to ask you twice as you leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her soft ones, positively melting what was left of your heart whilst you began to feel warm, fuzzy, and light all at the same time, your skin tingling all over. It didn’t take you long to carefully ease her back against the counter, questions flooding your mind the entire time as if you were terrified of what she might think of you if you did something too quickly; deepened the kiss too quickly, something you were trying hard not to do as your lips slowly and carefully clashed with her own, whilst Embry was also finding herself trying hard not to give into her own urges, her grip on your own green vest tightening in an attempt to try and keep herself focused for you so you could progress things all at your own pace, as she didn’t want to scare or hurt you like Pedro had not too long ago, now. However, as soon as the kiss began to deepen even more, she found herself struggling to fight back her heightened feelings, the adrenaline soon beginning to become too much for the both of you as she hastily pulled out of the kiss, and buried her face into the crook of your neck, breathing heavily alongside you whilst you both tried to recompose yourselves for one another, her arms around your waist still, and your own around her neck. “Shit,” she whispered shakily, “Y-Y/n, I - I’m so sorry, I-..”

Your blood ran cold as you wondered why she was apologising - had you hurt her? Your eyes widened, and a lump began to form in your throat - if you’d hurt her like Pedro had hurt you, you’d never be able to forgive yourself as you hastily shook your head, before carefully lifting her head up to your own whilst you hugged her tightly, and she would frown when she noticed that your entire body had begun to shake a little.

“No,” you whined feebly, your voice weaker than she’d ever heard it before, “I-.. I’m so sorry, Embry, I - I didn’t mean-.. whatever I did, I didn’t mean it, I swear, I-.. I love you, I-.. please don’t - don’t leave me-”

“Hey,” she cooed gently, whilst she held you at arm’s length, not wanting you to think that she’d ever leave you over something like that, especially when you’d not even done anything wrong, “it - it’s okay; you didn’t do anything wrong, a-and I could never leave you, regardless; I could never hurt you like that - hey, l-look at me.”

You then timidly glanced up at her, your eyes glistening again whilst she delicately caressed your left cheek once more.

“I just-.. don’t wanna hurt you,” you murmured dejectedly, “if - if I did, I’d-.. I’d never be able to forgive myself, I-”

“Y/n, you - you could never hurt me,” she reassured hastily, her voice briefly trembling; she just wished she could kill Pedro somehow for what he had done to you, making you the way that you were now; weakening you even more than your father had managed to all those years ago, before you’d run away from him, and found her in the process of doing so, “I only stopped b-because-.. y’know, I-.. I love you, and-.. and I don’t want to lose control around you; I only want to do things that you’re comfortable doing with me, okay? I guess I just-.. I thought-.. after-.. after Pedro, you - you wouldn’t want to-.. and so soon-.. god, I’m only making this worse, aren’t I? I’m so sorry-”

“N-No, Ember, you’re not making anything worse - I understand,” you reassured her, not wanting her to think that you’d be hurt by her assumption when you knew that it was hard, and that there were extra boundaries now given that Pedro had assaulted you the way he had, after your father - before you’d run away from him - had also abused you, just not in the way that the person who you’d thought was your friend had, recently, “I-.. I get it-.. I just-.. just know that I-.. I love you, and I-.. I’m ready, baby, for - for anything, as long as it’s with you, I promise.”

Embry would appear taken aback by your claim, her eyes glinting, before she held your hands within her own blissfully.

“You’re - You’re sure?” She inquired, wanting to make sure that you truly were ready, before she did anything you weren’t ready to do with her after Pedro had hurt you recently.

“Positive,” you answered timidly, before you warily wrapped your arms around her waist again, easing her closer to you to the point that her hips were against your own, prompting her to shudder, her heart skipping a beat again, before she glanced down at your lips timidly, her breathing pattern growing to be staggered and uneven once more, “b-because-.. I - I know you’d never hurt me, I-.. I feel safe with you, Embry, and I - I always will, no matter what, I promise, I-..”

“I love you so much,” she whispered shakily, before leaning forward to gently connect her lips to your’s, soothing you instantly whilst you melted into the kiss again, and wondered why she was so gentle with you; wondered why she cared about you the way she did, and had ever since she’d first met you, after you’d managed to run away from your father’s abusive tendencies, but before you could even voice such questions, she would rest her hands upon your sides, prompting you to jolt, and squeak unexpectedly as she’d managed to locate one of your ticklish spots. “Aww,” she cooed, whilst you blushed again, evidently flustered by her discovery, “I didn’t know you were ticklish - you’re adorable.”

“Ember,” you whined, your voice close to a whisper, whilst she grinned over at you, evidently amused by your response and reaction to her teasing you, “stop-”

“Never,” she replied confidently, as well as a little playfully, before she lovingly connected her lips to your own again, her forehead affectionately brushing against your own whilst you both clung to one another, and revelled in each other’s presence, “you’re everything to me, Y/n L/n, and if it takes me years to repay you for how happy you’ve made me, then I’ll willingly do everything I can to keep you happy, too, whilst also doing all I can just to see you blushing, somehow, and - oh, speaking of - I think you’ve already begun to blush even more, now, have you?”

“No-!” You contradicted, scoffing, before hastily averting your gaze, though it was evident that you’d already begun to blush quite prominently, just by cooing sweet nothings to you, and kissing you delicately as if you were fragile, and could easily be crushed somehow by a foot, or paw, like a flower could - something she was terrified of happening; she didn’t know what she’d do, without you, if ever the Skin-eaters got to you, the way they easily could if ever you and her decided to venture out of the base together, no matter how determined she was to protect you at all costs, if ever such an occurrence took place like she secretly feared it could, soon.

“Really?” She questioned, and you would hastily nod, as if you thought you’d convinced her, or at least could, that you weren’t blushing, when she’d already caught you doing so unbeknownst to you. “Oh, please - I know you, Y/n,” she stated, and you would wince - she did know you, too well - more than you could ever know yourself, “I just hope I know you enough to make sure you enjoy this cake; it’s great, especially for people who love anything to do with vanilla, and icing.”

🜚

The cake came out perfect; it was perfect - everything about it was, just as you’d thought it would be, but nothing could ever be as perfect as she was, and always would be, to you, ever since you’d first met her, and fallen hopelessly in love with her.

“What do you think?” She inquired, evidently nervous as she timidly leaned forward, awaiting your answer and hopefully approval after you’d spooned up and positively devoured the last small pieces that had remained upon your plate, leaving a few slices still left for later, only for you two, though, Embry specifically instructed, probably because she was still mad at how one of the Commanders had spoken to you both earlier, positively kicking you out only to be denounced by his counter-parts within the base, and group. “D-Do you like it, or - or should I be discarding the recipe for next year?” She pried, and you would appear taken aback, before hastily shaking your head, setting down your spoon, and instead holding her hands blissfully within your own in an attempt to try and provide comfort to her, soothing her instantly as she expressed relief, and couldn’t help, but smile softly over at you whilst blood rushed up to her cheeks, and her gaze locked with your’s again.

“I more than liked it, Ember,” you answered shyly, whilst you timidly brushed your thumbs over her knuckles, before briefly drawing circles upon the back of her hand, wondering how they were so soft and perfect like her lips were, whenever you mustered up the courage to kiss her the way you had earlier, “I loved it - honestly, it had to be the best thing that I’ve ever tasted; I appreciate everything that you do for me, you know that, right? No matter what.”

Embry gave your hands a reassuring squeeze, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst you couldn’t help, but admire the blue sparks within her stunning orbs again, longing to remain within her eyes forever, somehow, as if her person and soul were the only safe space you could ever cope within; could ever survive in, as long as you both stuck together, no matter what the future might be holding for you, after today.

“I - I’m glad, I just-.. I guess I’m-.. I’m just scared,” she admitted dejectedly, prompting your heart to sink; you didn’t want her to ever feel that way around you, especially when you felt as if it should be you who should be scared of doing something wrong around her, “if I disappoint you somehow, w-who’s to say I won’t lose you?”

“Hey,” you replied firmly; determinedly, surprising her as she appeared taken aback by your demeanour, evidently not expecting it, especially so soon after Pedro had assaulted you - maybe the you she’d first met was finally coming back to her, slowly but surely, with every passing day she spent with you, loving you the way she’d longed to ever since she had first met you out in the forest, bloody and close to death, only to be revived somehow by her own confidence that she could save you, and keep you with her, somehow, and here you both were today, eating a vanilla-flavoured birthday cake whilst Skin-eaters and god knows what other rival groups were roaming around outside, waiting for their next opportunity to strike, and achieve another fresh kill before the other could rot over them. “You could never disappoint me, Ember,” you cooed, “I love you; e-everything about you just - makes me feel-.. complete, somehow, a-and I-.. I could never be driven away from you, so don’t ever think that you could do something to hurt me enough to make me not want you anymore, because there’s no way in hell that I’m ever gonna up and leave you like that - my feelings for you are too strong, and they’re certainly all I have, and want now, no matter what, I promise - d-don’t ever forget that, okay? P-Promise me that you won’t, even, o-or else I’ll-”

“I’ll never forget, I promise,” she cooed gently, soothing you instantly as you expressed relief alongside her, before smiling timidly over at her, and leaning forward a little over your plate, your lips longing to caress her own again, somehow, though you feared how she might react if you tried to kiss her once more for tonight, instead averting your gaze whilst you tried to think of a new topic of conversation, before blurting one out exasperatedly whilst she tilted her head partially in the best way possible, her eyes glinting somehow more than even the shiniest star ever could.

“H-How did you even remember that it was my birthday today, anyway? D-Did I ever just-.. tell you that it was, ‘cause I can’t remember, and it’s starting to scare me - I don’t know why,” you admitted feebly, surprising her as she raised her eyebrows partially, whilst a soft smile began to tug at her lips again, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before it began to race overwhelmingly alongside her own once more, as if it hadn’t been pounding against your ribcage already for a little while, now, ever since Embry had returned to you from her lookout for more possible survivors outside the base, if only you could join her, and make sure that you could never lose her, somehow, the thought of being eager to die for her if such an issue occurred even filling you up to the brim with further hints and spouts of determination as you timidly pushed yourself to continue, your voice briefly trembling as you did, “you - you just-.. know me, m-more than I could ever know myself, a-and-.. I don’t know how, b-but you do - care to tell me your secrets?”

Embry tensed up on the other side of the table, wincing, before she bowed her head - whatever she hadn’t yet told you, was evidently something she’d been hoping not to share, and boy were you eager to hear it, no matter what beautiful secrets her’s truly were, and would turn out to be, as soon as she mustered up enough the courage to share them.

🜸

She remembered the night you were first brought in; how she’d hastily carried you back to the base whilst you bled out within her arms, barely conscious, and crying quietly into her left arm; you couldn’t believe you weren’t dead, but the pain was enough to make you want to be dead, instead of being taken to wherever you were being brought to, of course that was before you first were able to see Embry clearly; before you’d first fallen hopelessly in love with her the way you had, that same night, the way she had with you, too, without realising it, at first, until you’d got better, and were able to spend more time with her outside of the medical quarters they had set up within the base, just a safety precaution, and all that jazz - a lot of people were being wounded out there, and were often in need of some medical attention, at least. The Skin-eaters’ bites were nasty, and so were their claws, especially when they tried to extend them within their prey - some weird thing they do which you hadn’t yet figured out why, yourself - all you knew was that they were your father’s creation, and seemed to double somehow by absorbing the bodies of those they did manage to kill, and extend themselves within, effectively taking over their bodies and therefore the power that used to be within them. It’s a shame for them that their bites couldn’t do that, but definitely some kinda benefit for you as well as the others, if you had any chance of survival at all, in the near future.

“Are you sure you wanna know? S-Some might be a little-.. creepy,” she murmured, her voice trailing off a little, surprising you, before you nodded hastily, squeezed her hands gently, and found your eyes widening - how exciting, your heart was even beginning to race again, “o-okay, well-.. I-.. t-the night you first joined us, I-.. I didn’t know what it was, o-or why I was doing it, but-.. I decided to take over the surveillance duty within the medical quarters that you were in - I guess I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, a-and I guess finding myself staring at you was doing that, right? Again, I don’t know why, but-”

“I’m just that irresistible, right?” You teased, prompting her to falter, evidently flustered by your remark as blood began to rush up to her cheeks, and she found herself stammering for a moment, whilst she briefly disconnected her right hand from your left one to rub at the back of her neck, prompting you to smirk over at her whilst you revelled in the feeling of being able to make her feel the way that you somehow could, though you believed yourself to be nothing, compared to her, and always had, making your heart drop all over again upon being reminded of who you were, compared to her; reminded of your little worth, and how you only felt dirtier after Pedro had violated you the way he had recently, if only she couldn’t notice such things about you more than you’d ever noticed anything about yourself.

“Hey,” she cooed, her heart sinking as soon as she noticed the pained expression on your face, “w-whatever you’re thinking right now, stop it - n-none of - none of what you believe about yourself is true. Y-Y/n, you - you’re perfect, and you always will be, I promise; nothing could ever change the way that I see you, I just wish-.. just wish that I could show you, somehow, h-how-.. how I see you - I love you, Y/n L/n, and I always will, no matter what, okay?”

You would hesitate, before smiling timidly over at her, and returning with a soft ‘okay’, before you shuffled your chair closer to her own, allowing you to rest your head blissfully upon her left shoulder whilst she held your hands within her’s again, wondering what she’d done to deserve someone as caring and perfect as you, whilst she also pondered upon how she could try and show you that you meant the world to her, and always would, no matter what the future held in store for you both.

“So - w-what are your other secrets? I wanna know everything about you, Ember,” you mused a little dreamily, before wincing, and remembering that you, too, held something you couldn’t tell her, yourself, prompting you to feel even worse for what you were doing, right now; she’d hate you, if you told her that it was your father who had created the Skin-eaters in the first place; if you told her that you felt as if you couldn’t stop him - that you were terrified, and had to get away, instead of trying to shut down his operation somehow, and that was a risk you couldn’t take.

“Well-.. I don’t have many others; you pretty much already know everything about me,” she answered, and you wondered why her cheeks seemed to grow even redder as she claimed as much, “t-they mostly - revolve around you.”

“Is that so?” You replied a little more brightly, whilst smiling softly up at her again, and finding yourself admiring her facial features whilst you both drew small designs on each other’s hands, again recalling in the perfect moment, away from the chaos most likely taking place outside of the base, as well as beyond this room you both were currently hiding in. “And what are they, exactly?” You pried, only flustering her even more as she tried to recompose herself, looking as if she were searching for the right words she could use to describe all the times she’d caught herself staring at you, even when you were across a room, and not beside her like you usually were, especially now, as well as all the times she’d caught herself thinking about you, and about if you maybe were thinking about her, too, like you often were, even when she wasn’t around, and was outside of the base looking for more survivors to join the crew. She’d even stopped dreaming of Cynthia after a little while, her head instead being preoccupied by you; your voice, your face, everything about you, and it had been more overwhelming than anything else ever had been, before, but she loved every second of every thought she had of you, and hoped that that would never change, no matter what the future held in store for you both.

“J-Just that-.. I-.. er-.. whenever-.. whenever you were around, and I wasn’t out with the others,” she began timidly, staring down at her fingers intertwined within your own, “I-.. o-often-.. shit, I didn’t realise this would be so hard, I-”

“It’s okay,” you reassured her gently, your voice soothing her instantly as she found herself subconsciously glancing over at you, her gaze drawn to your own in the best way possible, before she timidly glanced down at your lips, prompting you to raise your eyebrows, before you smirked, and timidly leaned closer, flustering her even more somehow as your lips were now inches away from her own, close enough for her to just lean forward, and-…

No, she wouldn’t do it - not without you asking her to. She drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before smiling weakly back at you, and lifting her right hand up to your left cheek.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she managed, her voice close to a whisper, prompting you to falter yourself whilst your eyes locked with her’s again, and heart began to pound overwhelmingly against your ribcage, “c-couldn’t stop-.. just-.. wanting you, a-and wishing you were there with me, even when you were in the same room that I was. Y-Y/n, I-.. I love you, a-and I’m so glad that I know that, now, ‘c-cause if I-.. if I was still hung up on Cynthia I-”

“I love you so much,” you blurted out a little shakily, before you leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her own, prompting her instantly to melt into the kiss whilst she intertwined the fingers of her right hand within your hair blissfully, prompting you to shudder a little upon feeling them whilst you wrapped your arms around her waist subconsciously for stability, evidently worried that you could somehow fall off of your chair if your body gave up on working properly, bringing her down with you, whilst you also feared that maybe she’d disappear, if you let go of her now, and the possibility of such a thing happening terrified you more than anything else ever had before.

Akaya then whined, wanting attention from her companions, prompting you both to hesitantly break the kiss, before you giggled feebly together, small tears clouding one another’s vision whilst Embry encouraged Akaya over to the table.

“C’mere, girl; we can’t have you being lonely over there, can we?” She cooed, and Akaya wouldn’t hesitate to bark, before she brightly trotted over to you both, and laid down at your and her feet whilst you both fussed over her ears, neck, and back, not once finding yourselves recovering from the exasperated fits of giggling you’d both been experiencing ever since the kiss had occurred, and sadly ended. However, once you had, it was when the knuckles of her left hand had brushed against the fingers of your right one, prompting you to falter, before you glanced up at her, and wondered why it felt like a wave of electricity had been sent through your arm just through such a small touch as the one you’d both just shared, a brief moment ago, now. “Shit, sorry, I - I didn’t mean-..” She then winced, the dazed expression on your face worrying her, for a moment; she’d feared that maybe - by accidentally having her hand brush against your’s - she’d scared you, or made you feel uncomfortable, before hastily bowing her head, until you shook your own, and carefully held her hand within your’s before she could withdraw it, soothing her instantly again whilst she shyly glanced up at you once more, her heart racing again alongside your own as if something were chasing it, but could never catch it during this moment in time, as you made her whole being soar with anticipation, and hope - maybe, as long as you both were together, nothing would ever be able to get to you, and you’d be able to take down the Skin-eaters, flee the country, and therefore be able to spend the rest of your lives as well as - hopefully - the rest of eternity, together, as if the Apocalypse had never taken place the way it had, and still was, but that didn’t matter right now, as long as you all were together, and they were where they couldn’t currently get to you - isn’t that beautiful? How you’d both forgotten all about them, again, just because of your souls being intertwined the way that they currently were? If only love by itself could truly destroy all threats around you both, but it seemed a lot more needed to be done, still, if the Survivors wanted to get the drop on the Skin-eaters as well as rival groups completely, just to try and take the world back from them before it could become too late to do so, and time was running out faster than any of them, including you and Embry, could ever expect, or want it to, ‘cause some of the others did seem to in hopes of just wanting to die to escape the situation entirely - the medical quarters saw a few patients who came in just to be found in the morning with new open wounds made by the small pen knives left on each of their bedsides as a safety precaution; you’d never understood that rule, and neither did those who were on surveillance duty who had to watch it all take place.

You remembered Embry telling you one time about how someone had - in the middle of the night, during her shift - taken up the pen-knife, before they made to dash it into their neck, prompting her to gasp, a strained sob escaping her lips - there was nothing she could have done; the Commanders certainly wouldn’t allow her to help the poor guy, but she couldn’t let it happen again, and that was why you were still alive, today. You’d tried, yourself, to take your life within the medical quarters, when Embry stopped you, and confiscated the pen-knife entirely, though you couldn’t imagine why she’d bother - you saw yourself as being a burden on her as well as the others, so why should she want to keep you alive? You never thought she’d ever end up feeling the same way for you, after you’d begun to fall for her yourself.

“It - It’s fine, I promise,” you reassured her gently, and she would express relief instantly, her eyes glinting as they locked with your’s in the best way possible, Akaya peacefully laying her head upon her paws whilst you both smiled lovingly over at one another for a moment, until you managed to muster up the courage to continue, though your heart pounding was making it hard for you to do so without stammering a little like she had been earlier, “don’t ever worry about hurting me, o-okay? ‘Cause you never will - I trust you, Ember, m-more than I could ever trust myself, or anyone else, and that’ll never change, I promise, n-no matter what.”

“Good,” she replied timidly, and you would nod slowly in agreement with her as well as to further clarify that that was the way you truly felt, and knew you always would, no matter what might happen after today, “I - I’m glad, I-.. ‘c-cause I trust you, too, a-and I always will, I promise - it’ll always be us against the world, right?”

“Always,” you agreed confidently, “n-no matter what, it’ll just be you, me, and Kaya - the others can’t hurt us, not when we’re together, as long as you answer just one more question for me, c-can you?”

“Of course I can,” she answered hastily, without even thinking about it - what kinda question was that, anyway?

“H-How’d you find out about it being my birthday today?” You pried, still nervous; you just couldn’t remember telling her, at all, and you feared that maybe - if she found out anything else about you, she’d discover the whole truth that you were terrified of her revealing, without finding herself feeling betrayed by you, and not wanting you anymore, and that was something you just knew you wouldn’t be able to take, without finding yourself ending up in a pool of your own blood again.

🜸

Embry would appear taken aback by the question - of course she was, but it wasn’t because its repetition had surprised her; it was more the tone - the hint of desperation, anxiety, and urgency that she heard within your voice as it was delivered again; why did you sound so scared, when she thought you had remembered that you’d told her yourself about it being your birthday? What had you to hide? She hoped that you weren’t keeping anything from her; you’d promised yourself never to do anything like that to her whilst she, too, had made the same promise to you, and though there was a lingering possibility nagging and burdening her brain, she tried to push it aside; all her suspicions, as if they were never there, before she returned her attention to you, and the question at hand that had just been posed upon her again.

“You’re still on that?” She mused, and you would wince, before nodding timidly, and rubbing at the back of your neck with your right hand, her eyes never leaving your’s as if your and her orbs were made to be stuck on one another, no matter what. Despite the moment, your gazes just couldn’t break away from each other, and you couldn’t help, but find yourself wishing she’d stop caring about you - why would she even want to? If the truth ever came out in the end that it was your father who’d created the monsters outside, what would they think of you? What would Embry think of you? She’d certainly be hurt by the revelation, and that just made your heart ache excruciatingly within your chest - you couldn’t let such a secret hurt her the way it would, especially when you knew you’d lose her, too, if ever she caught wind of it. However, you’d gladly take on any pain just to save her it if it meant that the secret would have to come out in the end, somehow, though you were sure (and silently hoping against hope) that your father and his worker goons were dead, now, as long as nobody found out about your association with them. “Why?” She inquired, whilst a soft smile couldn’t help, but tug on her lips; she couldn’t stop it - you’d always make her smile, no matter what, and that was all she was certain of, now, aside from the fact that she knew she’d always love you, even after the apocalypse hopefully came to an end at some point in the future, with whatever outcome it left behind for who still remained, of which she believed (on good days) that you both would be two of them, alongside Akaya.

“I - I don’t know, I just-.. y’know, I - I can’t remember, a-and I guess I just-.. want to make sure that - when I told you - I wasn’t doing anything embarrassing, o-or whatever,” you rambled, whilst blood began to rush to your cheeks, prompting her to raise her eyebrows, before she tilted her head partially, her smile turning into a smirk, now, whilst her eyes glinted a little mischievously as if she was delighting in flustering you all over again, “was I? I’m guessing I was drunk, o-or something - else I - I would have remembered when I told you, right?”

“Has anyone ever told you-” As she delicately traced the thumb of her right hand over the light and small freckle you’d had since you were quite young, right beside your left eyebrow, “t-that you’re the most - most beautiful and adorable woman to ever exist on what’s left of the earth, now?”

You would falter, beginning to feel warm and fuzzy again whilst your cheeks definitely grew redder, exactly what she’d been willing them to do as she grinned sheepishly over at you, and carefully tucked a stray few hairs behind your ear after they’d managed to block your left eye; it was annoyingly getting longer quite quickly, now, and you didn’t exactly feel confident yourself in trimming it back down to the way it was, before, especially what with everything going on, recently, and there no longer being any other safe spaces left beyond the base.

All the remaining safe houses and military bases had seemed to be taken down, meaning this was the last one, somehow - lord knows how it was still standing, against the Skin-eaters and rival groups out there.

“Ember,” you whined, your voice close to a whisper, prompting her heart to skip a beat; she loved the way you said her name, as well as her nickname ‘Ember’, and wondered subconsciously how she’d never felt this way for Cynthia, before she’d lost her, only making her feel guilty again as she timidly withdrew her hand, before smiling weakly over at you, and wincing; she had to stop somehow getting herself carried away by her intrusive thoughts regarding everything about you that was, and always would be stunning, to her, trying to remind herself of the question she still had yet to answer for you.

“R-Right, sorry,” she mustered up a little exasperatedly, before smiling faintly over at you again, and stretching within her chair, “you were drunk, at the time, but don’t worry - you weren’t doing anything embarrassing; we were just talking about stuff, a-and - and I remembered you told me that it was your birthday on the twenty-fifth of July, s-so I-.. y’know, I had to do something for you; I couldn’t let you go without having a little celebration of some kind, right? I love you, Y/n, and the Skin-eaters will never be able to stop me from doing all I can to make you happy, I promise.”

You didn’t know what to say, your voice failing you for a moment whilst small tears began to cloud your vision; you’d never had someone care about you the way that she did, and it was surprisingly painful. How could you mean so much to her? A supposed nobody like you? You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before hastily bowing your head to try and hide that you were on the verge of breaking down all over again; you’d never get used to the way she made you feel, that was for sure.

“Embry,” you murmured dejectedly, your voice briefly trembling whilst she wondered why you were hiding your face from her the way that you currently were, “I-.. I have-.. I need to tell you something.”

🜚

You were sat upon the edge of her bed, anxiously fidgeting with your fingers whilst Embry was brushing her teeth within the bathroom. You couldn’t believe you’d almost told her about your association with the beginning of the Apocalypse, drawing in a barely audible shaky breath whilst Akaya eyed you suspiciously, tilting her head in your direction, as if she knew that you were hiding something, and was judging you for what you were doing to Embry. However, you didn’t exactly feel proud for diverting yourself; for instead telling her that you’d rather stay within her quarters tonight with her, and - although it was an ideal moment you’d always pictured within your head - not telling her about your father’s creation of the Skin-eaters currently taking over the world outside of the base, so you tried to tell yourself that you wouldn’t let it remain a secret much longer; you wouldn’t let anything happen, until she knew about all he had done; until she knew he was responsible for the world you both now knew, and could decide if she still wanted you, or not.

The possibility of her rejecting you prompted your heart to sink all over again - what if you lost her, after today? What if she hated you after you planned on telling her about your father’s creation of the Skin-eaters? What if-

“Are you okay? Y-You’re real quiet,” Embry spoke up, her voice thoughtful, and more gentle than you’d ever heard it before, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you hastily glanced up at her, and managed a faint smile in her direction; you were terrified - she was everything to you, and she always would be, so how would you be supposed to fare without her, if you did lose her? “Hey,” she cooed, frowning when she noticed the pained expression on your face; you’d not felt it, until now - your heart had been overwhelming you enough for you to lose focus altogether, until she spoke up again, and sat down beside you, “what’s wrong?”

“It - It’s nothing, I just-..” You hastily shook your head, before bowing it whilst she timidly intertwined the fingers of her right hand with the shaky fingers of your left one, only making you feel even worse than you did, before, as you wondered what it would feel like to never be able to feel her hands holding your own. “I’m fine, Ember, don’t - don’t worry, about me,” you murmured, whilst small tears began to cloud your vision, but of course she didn’t believe you; she knew you too well to let your answer go unnoticed.

“No, Y/n, don’t give me that,” she interjected gently, a hurt look on her face; she wished you’d just tell her the truth; tell her that maybe you weren’t ready to do anything more with her, yet, as she feared that progressing with you the relationship too quickly would drive her away from you, and she couldn’t imagine a life without you in it, like that, so she wouldn’t allow it, if you were doubting doing anything more with her the way you’d claimed that you wanted to, earlier, whilst you both were hiding out within one of the only working kitchens in the base that seemed to have been forgotten about a lot of the time, “look, if - if you’re not ready to do this-”

“W-What? No!” You interrupted exasperatedly; you didn’t want her to think that you didn’t want to progress with her, because you did, more than anything, if only you could find it within you to tell her the truth about your father, and the Apocalypse going on around you both. “E-Ember, I - I want to do this, I-..” You then drew in another deep breath, before turning your body more to face her own, your eyes locking with her’s in the best way possible - thank god you’d managed to blink away most of your tears, though she did still notice that you were trying not to cry, making her heart ache more than it ever had before. “I love you,” you expressed feebly, your voice close to a whisper, and she would hesitate, the air seeming to grow thicker around you both whilst you found yourselves staring longingly over at one another for a moment, before she timidly leaned closer to you to delicately connect her lips to your’s, prompting you to falter as you instantly melted into the kiss, before you wrapped your arms around her waist, and subconsciously began to deepen it.

You wouldn’t have remembered your plan, if it weren’t for Akaya, who growled quietly whilst you both were kissing a little more passionately, prompting you to wince, before you hastily pulled away, and bowed your head again, worrying Embry who looked on at you with a pained as well as concerned expression on her face, wondering why you’d stopped so suddenly the way that you had, and if it was because of her; something she’d done, or said, a brief moment ago, before you both had begun to kiss the way you had not too long ago, now.

“Y/n? W-What’s-” She managed a little breathlessly, her voice barely audible whilst she eased you a little closer to her, cradling your body in an attempt to provide comfort to you as you clung to her, a guilty expression on your face.

“I - I think we should..” You then fell quiet again, wincing, before you timidly glanced up at her, and she understood exactly what you wanted her to do, nodding as she smiled lovingly down at you, relieving you in an instant; you couldn’t do this, not until you felt confident enough to tell her nothing, but the truth regarding your father, and the Skin-eaters, otherwise you’d never be able to forgive yourself, when you knew that - if she decided she didn’t want you anymore once she knew about his creating the world that you both were in, now - she’d be able to find someone better than you; someone who could actually make her happy, prompting your heart to sink again.

“Okay,” she replied softly, her voice soothing you as your heart skipped a beat, and you began to feel warm and fuzzy again, “that’s okay - we can wait; I won’t force you, you know that, right? I only want to progress when you’re ready to progress with me, okay?”

You would hesitate, before nodding whilst you smiled sadly up at her; you couldn’t stop thinking about how there was a possibility you’d never be able to spend the rest of eternity with her, no matter how much you longed to, and have dreamed of doing so, even before you’d both decided to get together in secret, behind the backs of the other Survivors you were currently working with to try and restore the world that you used to know by fighting against the Skin-eaters beyond the walls of the base.

“Okay,” you whispered, and she would lean down to gently press a kiss to your forehead, before you buried your face into the crook of her neck, her right hand blissfully resting upon the back of your head, allowing her to entangle her fingers within your hair in the best way possible, “m-maybe we - we could-.. try tomorrow?”

Embry would falter, a pained expression on her face, before she held you at arms length whilst you looked up at her warily, wondering why she seemed sad all of a sudden, as if she weren’t going to be around to be with you tomorrow for a reason currently unbeknownst to you, until she mustered up the answer you’d been fearing as soon as you noticed her stunning icy blue eyes darkening in response to your previous question.

“I - I can’t, tomorrow,” she answered dejectedly, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and averting your gaze before she could see that more tears had begun to cloud your vision again; you weren’t sure how much more you could take of being away from her; of hiding your secret from her - it was painful, and you especially hated that - whilst she was often out with some of the others, looking for other survivors who weren’t rivals - you were waiting back at the base, and wondering if she would even end up coming back to you, or if you’d be faced with hearing from one of the Commanders that she had been lost during one of her shifts. “The commanders, they-.. they want me to start again,” she admitted begrudgingly, and you would realise, before nodding gravely again whilst you stared down at your hands, and wondered if things would ever be the same as they used to be, before; if the world would ever go back to normal, allowing you and her to be together freely, without threat of being taken away by the Skin-eaters outside, or rogue groups determined to kill those searching for an escape the way that you and the others were, “I’m so sorry-”

“N-No, Ember, it-.. it’s okay, I promise,” you reassured her gently, not wanting her to feel as if she had to apologise to you, especially not considering the situation, as well as the fact that you felt as if you should be the only one apologising to her, finding yourself struggling to tell her about your father’s association in the creation of the Apocalypse going on around you both, “I-.. I just-.. I love you, Embry, I-.. I can’t lose you, so - a-at least, promise me you’ll come back to me, if I can’t come with you-”

“Hey,” she interjected feebly, her voice cracking a little; it pained her to hear that you still feared that maybe you’d end up losing her, somehow, if she continued doing what she was doing with the others by going outside of the base, something you’d still never been able to do, considering the group didn’t seem to trust you as much as they did their other associates - you guessed your bite had just been a little nastier than the others had been, and the scratches certainly weren’t paid any attention by the Commanders. You’d tried - one time, or two, now - to get them to change their minds; get them to let you go out there with her, obviously without her knowing (she’d probably be against you going out there, herself, if she knew), only to be repeatedly turned down, and told that you couldn’t leave, as if you might burst out into the form of a Skin-eater any second now; they had to be the most stupid people you’d ever met, though you guessed they didn’t know as much as you did about these monsters that were roaming dangerously outside of the base, as well as across the country, now, evidently intending to try and take over the rest of the world as you and Embry grew to knew it, until now. “You’ll never lose me,” she cooed, “I promise; I could never let anything take me away from you, Y/n - it’ll only ever be you who I fight to return to, and I mean that, m-more than I could ever mean anything else. Besides, I have the others with me, don’t I? Erica’d never let anything happen to me, either; she knows what I mean to you, so-”

“Erica’s going with you?” You interrupted without thinking, your eyebrows subconsciously furrowing whilst she appeared taken aback by your interruption, tilting her head partially whilst she wondered why you were so down, all of a sudden, your eyes darkening as if a fire within your soul had just been extinguished as a result of her revelation regarding her shift tomorrow.

“Yeah,” she answered slowly, whilst you appeared thoughtful, and sad, for a reason unbeknownst to her; you just couldn’t help, but think about how close she and Erica seemed to be, even before Embry had first met, and fallen hopelessly in love with you, “why? What’s wrong? D-Did she do something to you-? Y/n-”

“N-No,” you interjected hastily, before wincing, and bowing your head again, “god, no, she - she just-.. I-.. I don’t know-.. I-.. it’s nothing, don’t worry about it, I-.. just wish I could go with you guys, I guess.”

Embry would raise her eyebrows, scoffing, before she held you at arm’s length again whilst you appeared ashamed of yourself, not daring to glance up at her again after you’d let yourself down the way you felt you had by being so weak when it came to you being terrified of losing her, somehow.

“Oh, please,” she remarked, “Y/n, I know you - are you jealous, baby? Of me and Erica?”

You would scoff, before hastily shaking your head, and then bowing it again whilst timidly fidgeting with your hands, your eyes glistening, and heart throbbing overwhelmingly as well as excruciatingly; you’d never get used to her teasing you, just like you’d never get used to being the way that you were, compared to her, only making you feel worse again as you frowned, and tried your best to blink the tears back.

“Jealous?” You uttered, and she would nod, whilst trying hard not to smirk over at you; she loved to see you flustered, whilst at the same time there was a lingering pain being emitted from her heart as a result of knowing that you still feared sometimes that you weren’t enough for her; that someone could take her away from you the way you believed Erica easily could, being supposedly more perfect than you could ever be - something she could never believe, herself, believing you to be the most perfect and caring woman she’d ever met - nothing could ever stop her from loving you the way she always had, and believed she always would, no matter what the future might be holding in store for you both after today. “God, no,” you claimed, “why - why would I be? Ember-”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I could try and change which group I’m in tomorrow if you want me to-”

“No,” you blurted out exasperatedly, not wanting her to think that she had to do that whilst you timidly held her hands within your’s again delicately, your eyes locking with hers in the process in the best way possible, “d-don’t, I-.. I’d feel better, i-if you-.. if you stayed with Erica; you’re right, she’d-.. she’d take care of you, out there, s-so-..”

You then fell quiet again, your eyes darkening once more whilst you smiled weakly up at her, making her heart ache even more.

“Hey,” she cooed gently whilst she wrapped her arms around you, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst you melted into her embrace, “you know I love you, don’t you, a-and that I always will, right?”

You would hesitate, trying not to allow a pained expression to cross your face whilst you nodded slowly, feeling emptier than you ever had before; you just hoped that - if you ever were to lose Embry to Erica - she would treat her the way a princess like her should be treated, only making you feel worse again; you just wished you could be enough for her, somehow.

“O-Of course I do, I-.. why wouldn’t I know?” You inquired, and Embry would frown, trying not to allow herself to blurt out her suspicions; she didn’t want to upset you anymore than she could tell she already had indirectly. “H-Hey, can we-..? I’m tired, a-and you probably need some sleep for tomorrow,” you suggested, and Embry would appear surprised, before she winced, and nodded hastily, not wanting to keep you up; your eyes were quite dark, and she did feel kinda tired after all you’d both found yourselves doing today, “I don’t wanna keep you up, e-especially not when your energy’s needed m-more than ever, right now, against the Skin-eaters.”

“Sure,” she replied kindly, before she shuffled down her bed, and lifted the duvet for you, “here - come join me.” You timidly glanced back at her, before you nodded, and tried to swallow back the lump in your throat; you weren’t sure why, but it still made you nervous nonetheless to be in a situation like this, still hiding your secret, and tormented by what Pedro had done to you, and your hesitation would worry Embry as well as dishearten her; she knew it must be hard for you, right now, to try and get used to being so close to her the way you would be, if you were to sleep within the bed, right beside her, but it wasn’t that you were scared of being with her, it was that you were scared of waking up, and finding her gone; scared of disappointing her somehow; scared of losing her somehow the next day. “O-Only if you feel like you can, though, okay? Do you? If - If not, I - I could - I could set up a bed on the floor that I could use, instead, and you can take the bed?”

“No, Ember, I - I can do this,” you reassured her timidly, before you smiled faintly over at her, and made to lay down beside her, and once you were in the bed, your heart seemed to skip a beat again whilst Embry carefully covered you with the duvet, before inching a little closer to you; she hated being away from you, but she made sure not to get too close, wanting to make sure that you felt comfortable, before she got any closer to you the way she longed to be able to. “Besides, I - I can’t let you banish yourself onto the floor, can I? You need sleep more than I do, right now,” you reminded her, and she would wince, before trying to think up an excuse; a reason why you might need more sleep than her, but before she could give one, you appearing a little dejected again overtook her train of thought as a worried look crossed her fade again; she hated seeing you like this, and wished she could do more for you somehow to make you happy, if only she knew a way to do so, especially during times like these.

“You okay?” She inquired, her voice softer than you’d ever heard it before as you timidly glanced over at her, your heart racing uncomfortably whilst you thought back to the night Pedro had raped you, after pinning you down onto his bed whilst you remembered crying for help; crying desperately for someone to find you, and take you away from him before he could go on hurting you, but Embry had been out at the time, only to discover you crying and sobbing uncontrollably within your quarters, and her heart had never hurt so much as it did that day, and remnants of such a pain still lingered excruciatingly within her chest, heightened now that she was reminded of it as you winced, and nodded hastily, trying to hide your pain from her again. “Hey, are you sure you don’t want me to move? ‘C-Cause I can, if you need more space-”

“No,” you whined, your eyes widening a little, “I - I’m okay, I promise; I - I need you here with me, Ember, I-..” Your voice then failed you whilst she carefully embraced you, and cradled your body close to her own, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to find yourself breaking down as you cried quietly into her chest, clinging to her as if your life depended on her being with you the way that she was, now. “Don’t leave me, please,” you whispered against the crook of her neck, and she would nod slowly, before lifting her right hand up to the back of your head again, soothing you instantly as you found yourself managing to fall quiet after a little while, half-asleep, and no longer shaking within her arms.

“I’ll never leave you, I promise,” she cooed gently, her voice close to a whisper, and you would express relief subconsciously, a soft smile even tugging at your lips - what had you done to deserve someone as perfect and caring as her? “Do you need anything, before we say goodnight, and I try and close my eyes for some shut-eye?” She inquired, and you would hesitate, before shyly glancing up at her again.

“C-Could you-.. give me some kisses, maybe? I’m-.. I’m needy,” you managed, your voice unusually small, before you perched yourself up a little upon your left eyebrow, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst her eyes began to glint a little - how couldn’t she?

“Of course I can,” she replied, before leaning closer to you to delicately connect her lips to your own, soothing you even more somehow as you melted into the kiss, your heart already seeming to beat less uncomfortably now that your lips were against her’s again, though it still made your heart pound to be kissing her the way that you were, now, “better?”

“M-Much better,” you managed, before yawning uncontrollably, your eyelids drooping even more than they ever had, before, whilst you couldn’t help, but curse yourself for being so tired; you just wished you could stay awake for her, somehow, though at the same time you knew you’d be burdening her by doing so, or at least you assumed you would be, when the possibility of being able to stay awake with you made her happy, instead of concerned about her being, “t-thank you, Ember, for everything - goodnight.”

“Night,” she whispered gently, before she rested her head back down upon the pillow, your arms still around her waist, and own head still rested blissfully upon her chest - how could anything ever get any better than this?

🜸🜚🜸

The next morning, you found yourselves both waking up to the blaring of the alarm coming from her watch, prompting you both to groan whilst you stretched awake, and begrudgingly opened your eyes. Embry then remembered the situation, a pained expression on her face whilst her heart sank; she’d have to leave your side again, soon, as she took up her watch, and switched off the alarm - why did they have to have them, anyway? She knew the Skin-eaters probably wouldn’t be able to hear it; the walls were thick, here, but it was annoying, nonetheless, something she guessed the Commanders liked to impose upon those below them within the base.

“Ember,” you managed a little sleepily, and she would falter upon hearing your voice as she glanced over at you, her eyes glinting a little as soon as they locked with your’s in the best way possible, “you - you don’t have to leave yet, do you?”

Her heart dropped again, before she winced, and hesitantly averted her gaze, prompting your own heart to begin aching excruciatingly alongside her’s; you hated being away from her.

“I - I don’t know,” she mused, her voice barely audible, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, though you wished you both could spend some more time together before she had to depart from your side again; you hated whenever there were gaps between you both, and knew you still had to tell her about your father’s creating of the Skin-eaters now tormenting you both as well as the others, something that would further mentally burden you if you kept it hidden away from her any longer than you already had, “the shifts usually start quite early, so-.. I should probably get dressed, at least, just-.. just so I’m ready, y’know, but-..”

You would hesitate, the words sticking in your throat; you longed to ask her to stay with you; longed to try and prove to her that - though your father had done what he did - you loved her, and always would, no matter what; you’d never do anything to hurt her, if ever she assumed that maybe - being associated with the creator of the Apocalypse, you were just using her, when you could never do something like that to anyone, especially not her - you’d never be able to forgive yourself, if ever you tried, not that you ever would in any circumstance, as long as her life wasn’t on the line.

“Let’s-.. Let’s just stay in bed for five more minutes,” you managed a little exasperatedly, your voice briefly trembling, and she would falter, feeling even worse as she hated hurting you the way she could tell she just had, but she didn’t know what else to do; she knew the Commanders wouldn’t let her stay behind, without them discarding her and your second chance, and throwing you out of the base to fend for yourselves against the Skin-eaters, and rival groups beyond the walls of the last standing military base in the country, “Ember, please-”

“I’m sorry, baby, but - you know I can’t, right? The Commanders-”

“I need you,” you whined, sitting up alongside her as she made to get up off of the bed, knowing she had to get dressed, and fast, if she wanted to keep you and her safe with a roof over your heads of some strong kind, “please - Ember, I - I can’t do this without you; I know you’ll come back to me, but - but I-”

“Babe,” she cooed gently, her voice soothing you instantly as you fell quiet, revelling in how it felt to have her holding your hands blissfully within her own as your eyes locked with hers again, and heart seemed to synchronise with her own without you both even realising it, but you could feel something suggesting that it was happening, and it was something you’d never felt before, until now, “it’s okay; everything’s going to be okay, I promise - look, if you ever need me, just-..” She looked around for a moment, before taking up her black necklace, and carefully setting it down within your right palm, and you couldn’t help, but close your fingers around it subconsciously, feeling warm and fuzzy again whilst she smiled lovingly over at you, and delicately drew her thumb over the back of your hand, wondering how your skin was so soft, and beautiful, like you, the thought overwhelming her all over again as blood began to rush up to her cheeks; you’d never cease to make her blush, the way she always did whenever you both were together. “Hold this, and think of me,” she cooed, and you would nod, whilst your own cheeks began to heat up; she was too good to you, and you still couldn’t fathom why - no matter how much she told you, you’d never understand why she loved a supposed nobody like you.

“Always,” you whispered, before she leaned forward timidly, and lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting you to melt into her touch instantly whilst you admired her eyes again; you’d never get enough of them, nor would you ever get enough of her, as you tried to fight back a dreamt sigh - this was all you’d ever wanted; being with her, if only your father had never created the Skin-eaters in the first place, maybe things would be even better, somehow.

“Before I go,” she began again timidly, “d-do you need anything? I want to make sure you’re comfortable, a-and, y’know, w-whilst I’m-..”

“There is-.. one thing,” you mused, whilst a soft smile began to tug at your lips again, “I’m in need of affection - e-even more of it.”

“I see,” Embry replied a little suggestively, flustering you even more as she raised her eyebrows a little, and smirked in your direction, “well? What do you want me to do for you?”

“C-Can we - Can we cuddle? Please?” You requested, your voice small, as if you were afraid that maybe she’d deny what you’d asked of her, when that was something she could never do to you, as she nodded, and slowly wrapped her arms around you, soothing you instantly as you returned the embrace, burying your face into the crook of her neck - why couldn’t you both just stay like this, forever? She was the only world you knew, now - you just wished you, her, and Akaya, could live far away from the mess your father had created, if only it could at least feel as if it were possible, somehow.

🜚

As soon as she’d gone, you found yourself full of dread. You paced around her room occasionally, not forgetting to gently squeeze her necklace every once in a while. It did make you feel better, until you were reminded of the Skin-eaters outside as you heard an occasional unnatural squeal, before a flurry of gunshots rang out, and your heart began to ache excruciatingly again. You just wished you could have gone with her, drawing in a barely audible shaky breath, before you hastily walked out of her quarters, and speed-walked toward the surveillance room - if you couldn’t be there with her, at least have them let you see that she was okay.

All the way, you gently squeezed the necklace within your right hand, trying to focus your mind on the task at hand. You would have made it sooner, if you’d not seen Pedro at the end of the hallway. As soon as you noticed him, you faltered, your eyes darkening, whilst your heart began to race overwhelmingly again. You couldn’t move, terrified; your mind brought you back to that night - how he’d forced you into his room, before he pinned you down onto his bed. You remembered staring over at the opposite, blank wall tearfully, unable to think whilst he violated you. Your tears began to glisten again, whilst your hands shook, and blood began to boil; he had no right to hurt you like that, did he?

You faltered again, bowing your head whilst small tears began to run slowly down your cheeks. Did you deserve it? You weren’t sure anymore. Your heart sank; you’d still not told Embry the truth about your father; you could have done something to stop this Apocalypse from happening. Maybe you did. God, that hurt, more than anything else had ever pained you before as you scowled down at the ground, before hastily dragging yourself away, turning a sharp corner into the next hallway whilst you tried to stop thinking about the hurt he’d caused you that night, before Embry had found you, and carried you back to your room, crying uncontrollably into her left shoulder.

You lingered by the door of the surveillance room for a moment, needing to hastily wipe your eyes, before you sucked in a breath, tried to recompose yourself, and pressed down the door handle.

“Y/n? What the hell are you doing in here?” Alexa questioned; she was often on surveillance duty, but you wouldn’t focus on her, at first, hastily walking up to the cameras that were pinned to the uniforms of those currently out looking for survivors, as well as to kill some of the surrounding Skin-eaters.

“Embry,” you began a little shakily, your voice barely audible, “w-which one is she?”

Alexa would hesitate, wondering why you seemed so jumpy; why your hands were shaking so much, but she thought better than to question it as she gesticulated to the feed in the top right hand corner of the screen, prompting your eyes to hastily lock onto it, and you to express relief - she was okay, that’s good; she’d just taken down another of the monsters, whilst Erica had taken down one that had tried to take her down from behind. You tried to ignore how your heart had sank upon noticing her - you could do what she was doing for Embry, of course you could; you were sure you could, so why wouldn’t they let you join her and the others out there?

“Hey,” Alexa began again gently, noticing that you were trying not to cry again, before she timidly made to hold your left hand within her right one, prompting you to jump back, subconsciously withdrawing your hand from her’s whilst your eyes widened a little, and you found yourselves forgetting how to breathe for a moment - you knew she didn’t mean to scare you like she had, it was just hard to stop yourself from panicking whenever someone touched you so unexpectedly the way she just had, especially after you’d seen Pedro again a brief moment ago, now, “shit, sorry, I - I didn’t mean-..” She sighed, and you would frown, feeling a little guilty for reacting the way you had as you bowed your head a little, your eyes darkening again. “Sorry,” she repeated a little quieter, remembering what had happened to you, and how Embry had told her not to do anything like what she’d just done after what Pedro had done to you shortly before that brief moment had occurred, “a-are you alright? Do you need anything, or-?”

“N-No, I’m fine, I just-.. I just wanted to make sure Ember-.. Embry was okay,” you answered, whilst wincing, and cursing yourself for accidentally blurting out her nickname the way you had, though Alexa already knew about you both unbeknownst to you; Embry had told her about your and her relationship not too long ago, now, feeling she could trust her friend to keep it a secret the way you’d both decided to do so, after you’d officially got together, “sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Alexa chimed, whilst beaming up at you, before she pat the seat beside her, prompting you to hesitate, before you sat down beside her, and fidgeted with your fingers. “I get it; y’all are close, right? It’s normal,” she reassured you gently, but you still seemed a little on edge, “hey - she’s gonna be okay, I promise. You can stay in here, if you want to? Keep an eye on her and the others with me? How does that sound?”

“Okay, I guess,” you mused, and Alexa would nod, before smiling kindly over at you, and looking over the feed again just to make sure nothing had changed whilst you both were talking the way you had been a brief moment ago, “I just-.. wish I could be out there with her.”

“Oh,” Alexa replied, before glancing over at you again, her eyes full of the sympathy she clearly was holding for you during this moment in time; she knew it was a hard situation, especially during times like these, “I see.”

“H-Hey, do you-.. know at all why they - they’re keeping me in here?” You inquired, and Alexa would falter, appearing reluctant, before she looked away again, prompting your heart to sink; she definitely knew something, it just seemed as if she felt she shouldn’t tell you, for a reason unbeknownst to you.

“S-Sorry, I-.. I don’t,” she claimed, her voice barely audible, full of guilt as well as nerves, “they just-.. said something about..” She sighed, before turning to face you fully again; she couldn’t lie to you; she just couldn’t, knowing it would only hurt you even more, and she could tell it had as you appeared dejected, staring down at your hands again. “They don’t trust you,” she admitted apologetically, prompting you to glance up at her hastily whilst your eyebrows furrowed again, and your heart sank once more - why wouldn’t they? You knew you’d been bitten by one of the Skin-eaters, but what was there to say that might suggest you could become one of them any minute now? You sighed heavily, before grunting barely audibly, and looking back up at Embry’s feed - she was hugging Erica, now, and you weren’t sure why, but the image made your blood boil a little, before the pain set in again. “But you’re lucky, y’know,” she added in a quieter voice, as if she’d be punished for telling you what she was about to say, next, directing your attention away from the feed again, and boy were you glad that she had, though the pain didn’t go away from when you’d caught them hugging on Embry’s feed, “they keep the others who got bites like your’s in the cellar, after they’re recovered - you would have been stuck down there with them, if they weren’t determined to keep an even closer eye on you, the way they kinda can if you’re up here, and not down there - you know what I mean?”

“I guess,” you murmured, before shrugging, and appearing a little puzzled, “but-.. it’s not like they can keep an eye on me all the time, though, can they? I mean-..”

“They can, if they have people reporting back to them about you,” she clarified, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face as you looked over at her again, prompting her to wince once more as she began to realise that she’d basically insinuated that Embry was only close to you to keep a report on you, when that was far from true, “b-but that doesn’t mean-”

“I know what it means,” you uttered, whilst you tried to ignore how excruciating the ache within your heart and chest was - why did you ever think that maybe Embry could feel the same way about you, when you were nothing, compared to her? You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before you glanced tearfully up at Embry’s feed again; she was still holding Erica, as if she were wounded, whilst she shot down another of the Skin-eaters, but that didn’t stop them from surrounding them both. “Erica, she’s hurt,” you mused, and Alexa would hastily glance up to Erica’s own feed, faltering when she noticed that she and Embry were being surrounded by the Skin-eaters.

“Shit!” She hissed exasperatedly, before lifting up the glass screen covering the red buttons beneath it, all labelled with the names of those currently outside of the base, the number of their feeds beside each of their names just to make it easier, you guessed, to keep an eye on everyone who was still left out there, and hadn’t yet fallen to the monsters.

“I’m going out there,” you stated through gritted teeth, getting up whilst Alexa erratically pressed down upon the red buttons labelled ‘Embry’ and ‘Erica’, sounding out an alarm somewhere distant, as if she were calling back-up for the pair.

“What? Y/n, no,” you picked up one of the guns hanging up on the wall; they often kept some spare in the room for emergencies upon wherever they had situated the rest of their weapon racks, “you can’t-”

“I can, and I will,” you insisted determinedly, and Alexa would falter, the look in your eyes scaring her, “I have to save them, I-.. if anyone’s going down today, it’s going to be me, and not them, and none of you are gonna stop me, okay? So don’t you dare let them try - tell the Commanders I’ve gone back to my room, and then when, or if they see me on the cameras, they won’t have time to stop me, okay?”

Alexa wasn’t sure what to do, as she hesitated, before begrudgingly nodding, though she felt ashamed of herself for doing so, knowing what it was that you were intending to do; if you did die today, she would feel responsible for not stopping you as you hastily walked out of the room, and began to run as fast as you can down the hallway, not stopping for anyone, or anything, not until you were with Embry and Erica. Not even Pedro, and the traumatic memories he’d plagued you with recently, could stop you the way they had earlier, as you whizzed by him, shoving him out of your way before he could even spit a taunt out as you went, only briefly stopping to press - hard - upon one of the buttons, opening one of the exits which would allow you to get out there to where the others - including Embry and Erica - currently were, still clinging to one another whilst trying their best to fend for themselves against the monsters gradually getting closer and closer to them with each second that passed.

🜸

“We’re gonna be okay,” Embry stated, her voice a little breathless, and barely audible, whilst Erica shook within her embrace, tears clouding her vision; the scratch she’d received was painful, and it was something strange, as it began to feel like something had been released within her, like a foreign object embedding itself into skin, “I promise - someone’ll hear us, and we’ll get you back to the base to be treated, okay?”

Erica couldn’t speak, nodding hastily, as well as weakly, whilst she whimpered quietly, and the next Skin-eater hissed, before it lunged toward the pair, only to be downed by Embry before it could get any closer - they seemed to have a method of attack that was becoming obvious to her. They circled, before crying out a warning to their contemporaries, and then lunging, and - though it was getting easier, now, for Embry to therefore keep track of them, she couldn’t help, but wish she had taken more bullets with her, now. She only thanked God that you were still inside, and therefore the safety of the base away from the monsters, but - little did she know - you were still running, and using the pocket knife you’d managed to take up along the way - one of the soldiers who were now gone must have dropped it - to knock and slash at the plants that were blocking your way; everything had seemed to grow a little more, now, ever since the Apocalypse had begun - maybe the Skin-eaters had begun spreading their energy elsewhere, too. The thought prompted you to shudder, your blood running cold - could there be something even bigger, now, right beneath where you were standing.

There was no time for you to be thinking about that, as you pressed on, slashing one more of the hybrid or mutant plants out of your way, before you heard a nearby gunshot, followed by someone crying out a faint ‘no’.

“I have to do it, Erica,” Embry insisted, raising her gun up at the sky, “there’s someone here, and they’re either gonna help us, or kill us, but we still have your gun, right? So if anything happens-”

“You can’t do this,” Erica contradicted, “we need to focus on them-”

As if on cue, another of the Skin-eaters screeched, but Embry wouldn’t let it even begin its lunge as she hastily aimed her gun back down at it, before downing it smoothly, warily looking around at the remaining monsters, and aiming it high up again; the rest were still pursuing their circling and sizing up routine, claws seeming to strangely grow longer as they drew closer to initiating their attack.

“And I am, aren’t I? Just - try and stay calm, okay? I’m gonna get their attention; I know I will,” she continued, before pulling down on the trigger, and shooting up her last bullets into the sky, startling you as you almost dropped your own gun, looking toward the commotion.

“Shit,” you spat, before running toward them, and almost tripping up, allowing the knife to slip from your fingers, but you couldn’t waste anymore time - the noise would only agitate them even more, and if the Skin-eaters got anymore ferocious than they were, now, things would only get worse than they were, before.

“Fuck,” Erica whined feebly, before hastily raising her hands shakily up to her ears, and that was when Embry noticed the black markings on her hands, “E-Embry what the fuck did you do!?”

“Erica,” Embry spoke up warily, her eyes fixated upon the dark veins spreading across her hands, as if something was growing inside her, “shit, w-what’s-”

Another screech, and Embry was out of bullets. She made to reach for Erica’s gun, but something made her snatch it away, before she pressed Embry down upon the ground, and aimed her gun at her companion’s head, startling her as Embry’s breathing pattern grew to be staggered and uneven, the Skin-eaters seeming to still around the two, as if they were waiting for Erica to prove herself, a behaviour she’d never witnessed from them before, until now.

“Ember,” Erica mustered up in a voice weaker than she’d ever heard it before, and she frowned when she noticed that Erica was trying not to cry, her finger shaking on the trigger, “Ember, I - I can’t-”

“It’s okay,” Embry cooed gently, not wanting her friend to panic, especially not in a situation like this, “just-.. put down the gun, okay? You can fight this, I know you can, you just need to put the gun down, and try to stay calm for me, can you do that?”

Erica hesitated, her heart pounding unnaturally whilst her eyes seemed to darken a little, like the Skin-eaters eyes; she was changing, and Embry didn’t know what to do.

“I - I don’t know, I - I don’t know, okay!” She cried, a strained sob escaping her lips whilst Embry tensed up, glancing down at the trigger again - it was almost there; she’d be dead, soon, if it got pulled any further back. She could almost feel the release of the spring as she waited for the bang; waited for the bullet to end her life, and she couldn’t help, but think of you, where she left you back at the base, prompting a soft smile to tug at her lips, until she remembered she was about to be taken away from you, only making her feel worse as she subconsciously shook her head, and managed to - as she regained feeling within her hands - grab at the barrel of the gun, before she hastily directed it away from her face, and the bullet embedded itself into the ground to her left.

The next few moments seemed to go by in a blur. Embry was still on the ground, a strained and feeble cry escaping her lips whilst she clung to her ears, them ringing excruciatingly beneath her palms whilst Erica raised her gun back up to her companion’s forehead, only to have it shot from her hands, before she herself was shot in the neck, making a gurgling-like sound, before she lifted her left hand up to the wound you’d created within it.

“Embry!” You called, your eyes glinting a little as soon as they fell upon her, before you rushed up to her, and faltered as soon as you noticed the other Skin-eaters, still watching you both keenly, before they looked toward each other, and the one in the middle screeched, before lunging toward you. Your blood ran cold, and you found yourself unable to move for a moment, until it had managed to pin you upon the ground, and you were thrown back to that night again. Pedro chuckled wickedly above you whilst he held a knife to the side of your neck, and used his other hand to begin undressing you upon his bed.

You whimpered barely audibly, your body beginning to shake a little whilst the fingers of your right hand tried to cling onto the gun again, only for it to be kicked away by the monster who still had you pinned upon the ground. Embry then - once her hearing had begun to return to some form of normality - looked toward you, her eyelids heavy, and vision a little blurry, until she narrowed her eyes, and your voice began to ring out in her head again - you’d called for her. How had you called for her? You were meant to still be within the base; in her room, how could you be-?

Her vision began to clear, and her blood ran cold - you were there, a few paces away from her, and you had nothing to defend yourself with; this could be the day she lost you. Her heart skipped a beat, and her soul began to become full of dread - no, she couldn’t lose you; not like this.

“Y-Y/n!” She cried, her voice a little hoarse, and the Skin-eater above you stopped, before looking back at her sharply, and hissing again. “Run!” She instructed desperately, but you couldn’t move, still; you couldn’t leave her there, even as the Skin-eater let you go, and began to stalk toward her, instead of you.

“I’m not leaving you!” You retorted, before pushing yourself to get up off of the ground, picking up your gun again as you went; you wouldn’t let it hurt her; you couldn’t. You’d never be able to forgive yourself, if you lost her today, and were terrified of losing her, somehow, so you made it your mission not to do so, as you hastily lifted your gun, before shooting the monster in the back of the head, downing it instantly, before you had to hastily turn and take down the last of them who had previously been surrounding her and Erica. Once you’d downed them, you threw down your gun, and rushed over to her, before you fell upon your knees by her side, and cradled her body close to you. “I-.. I’m so sorry, Ember, I-.. I love you so much - I should - I should have come earlier; should have been here, I-”

“No, Y/n,” she cooed gently whilst she returned the embrace, clinging to you whilst you both revelled in the moment, and wondered why you were still alive; how you were still alive, but at the same time you were immensely grateful for the luck you’d seemed to encounter, still being here together, until you remembered what Alexa had told you, and your heart sank again, “hey-.. you shouldn’t be apologising for something like this; you didn’t even know what was gonna happen. However, I do deserve an apology regarding how I seem to recall telling you to stay inside, earlier, only for you to be out here, doing the opposite of what I told you to do?”

“I couldn’t let you get hurt,” you murmured dejectedly, “E-Ember, I-.. I’m sorry, n-not just for breaking my promise to stay inside, but-.. for-.. what I did, to Erica. She meant a lot to you, p-probably still does, and - and I-..”

“You did what you had to do,” she reassured you, but you couldn’t help, but shake your head gravely; you evidently thought otherwise, though you couldn’t imagine why - you just wanted to make Embry happy, but when you saw Erica threatening her life, you couldn’t do anything else, but shoot her down, and you hated yourself for it, “we-.. we couldn’t save her, Y/n; we just couldn’t, okay? Hey, look at me-” You faltered, feeling something stabbing into your back, before your eyes darkened a little, and you began to feel empty all of a sudden, your heart aching excruciatingly again; you didn’t want her to see this, as the monster - still looking quite like Erica - pulled you away from her, and flung you against a tree, before her attention was directed onto Embry, and you began to feel hopeless. “Shit!” She spat, her voice briefly trembling, before she looked around, and her gaze fell upon your gun. She bee-lined for it, thinking she’d be able to reach it, until Erica managed to grab at her, and bite at her left shoulder, prompting her to cry out in pain whilst she struggled against her ex-companion’s grasp, only to be roughly pinned down upon the ground beneath her, making her feel dizzy after the back of her head had seemed to collide with one of the rocks beneath it. Erica then turned back toward you, making a hissing sound, before she jumped up onto one of the branches above you, and then fell back down upon you, digging her claws into you, before she began to extend them whilst you began to lose consciousness, alongside Embry, still trying her best to stay strong for you, somehow, despite the situation you both found yourselves in. “No,” she whispered shakily, noticing Erica digging her talons into your chest, before your body began to shake a little, and Embry felt more hopeless and lost than she ever had before, until the other soldiers finally found you both, and shot down Erica before she could take your body over entirely like the previous Skin-eater had been doing to Erica, before this moment in time.

🜚

As soon as you came to, your eyelids fluttering open, you were stunned by the bright lights above you. You didn’t realise you’d fallen unconscious, until now; all you remembered was being picked up off of the ground, before everything seemed to go black around you. You groaned, tightly shutting your eyes again, until you felt someone holding your hand to your right, and they snapped open again, your body jolting in response to the feeling, until you noticed Embry was walking hastily beside the stretcher you were being transported upon toward the medical quarters within the base.

Your heart skipped a beat as soon as you saw her, whilst your eyes glinted a little, as if you’d not previously been in pain; she made you feel as if you were stronger than you believed yourself to be, as long as she were beside you the way that she was, now. You couldn’t help, but smile weakly up at her whilst she gently squeezed your hand, and you realised you couldn’t hear anything for a moment - her mouth was moving, but you couldn’t hear her voice, prompting your heart to sink, and smile to fade.

“E-” You began, before faltering upon there being no sound produced from your own mouth, either. Shit - could you be dreaming? Dead? Were you just imagining this moment in time? You didn’t know anymore, and it was terrifying, until you noticed the pained expression on her face, before she looked over at the other soldier to your left, but you found you couldn’t pry your gaze from her, silently begging her to help you; you didn’t know what to do, and it was starting to panic you more than anything else ever had before - what if you’d never be able to hear her voice again? What if you’d never be able to tell her the truth about your father? What if she’d let you go, and not want you anymore, seeing you as a burden even after all you both had already been through together? What if you-

That was when you heard it. It was barely audible, at first, but right next to your ear - a small clink of some strange tool you didn’t know the existence of, until now; until you felt a brief shock, winced, and were invaded by several voices all at once, including one dog barking. Akaya must be with you, too, prompting you to express relief, before you began to relax again, glancing timidly up at Embry whilst she looked back down at you, ignoring the other two that were currently arguing about whether the machine should have been used, or not, considering they had a limited amount of the tools that had just been used upon you to try and fix your hearing after Erica had attacked you the way she had not too long ago, now.

“Y/n?” You faltered upon hearing her voice, your heart racing again whilst you began to feel warm and fuzzy inside all over again. You couldn’t help, but will her to do it again, desperate to hear it just so you knew you weren’t dreaming; just so you knew that you were still alive, and hadn’t yet been taken away from her too soon the way you had feared you might had been, before this moment in time. “Y/n,” she repeated exasperatedly; desperate, “baby, please-.. say something; just-.. anything; I need to know you’re okay.”

“I-..” You began timidly, testing out your own voice again - you could hear it this time, good, but that didn’t make it any less raspier than it was, as if you’d almost had the whole of your life stolen from you by the Skin-eaters who had ambushed you both a brief moment ago. “I missed - missed you so much,” you managed weakly, and a strained sob escaped her lips, before she carefully wrapped her arms around you, though it was awkward for her to do so right now, “I thought I lost you, in - in there; in the dark, a-and-.. and I didn’t know what to do, I-..”

“You’ll never lose me,” she vowed, before carefully lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, soothing you instantly as you melted into her touch, and smiled lovingly up at her, “I love you so much.”

“I - I love you, too,” you replied a little shyly, forgetting that the other soldiers were in the room with you both, “I-.. I always have, a-and I always will, I promise.”

“We’re almost there, now,” Alexa informed, and you would frown subconsciously upon hearing her voice, remembering what she’d told you earlier.

‘They can, if they have people reporting back to them about you,’ her voice rang out in your head, and your heart sank even more; you’d completely forgotten about your and her conversation earlier, until now, and it made you wonder why Embry was here with you again - was she just here to watch you? Make sure that you didn’t hurt anyone within the base? You guessed it wouldn’t surprise you, as you averted your gaze down to your hands whilst your eyes began to darken again - you’d taken Erica away from her, and you couldn’t help, but think about how close they used to be, only making you feel worse; all you’d ever been was a burden on her, and that was all you knew, now.

“I’ll call you when she’s done, okay? Claire’ll probably not appreciate us allowing you in whilst she’s treating her, so-..” Embry would frown, before nodding gravely, and glancing down at you again; she didn’t like to think that she’d have to part from you all over again after she’d almost lost you like she had, or thought she might, earlier.

“Right,” she murmured, whilst you warily looked up at her, evidently nervous about being parted from her again despite your previous thoughts regarding your and Alexa’s previous conversation, implying that Embry didn’t actually feel the same way for you, when she - unbeknownst to you - had loved you ever since she had first met you, and was sure she always would, no matter what the future held for you both after today.

A metal door ahead of you both slowly opened, before Claire appeared behind it, urgently gesticulating for them to bring you in so she could hastily treat you, before you could bleed out anymore than you already had managed to before they had found you and Embry in the states that you were.

“Quick - bring her in here,” she demanded, and both Alexa and the other soldier, Shyro, made to stop you by the door, only making Claire even more impatient than she was, before, to get started on her treating of your wounds, “what the hell are you doing? She could die-”

“They need a moment,” Alexa retorted, silencing her friend, before Embry timidly turned to face you again, and you felt more vulnerable than you ever had before.

“Y-Y/n, I-..” She began in a voice smaller than you’d ever heard it before, whilst small tears began to cloud your vision; you couldn’t bear to see her like this, especially when you knew it was because of you.

“I’m going to be okay,” you promised, and she would falter, before smiling softly over at you, and nodding timidly whilst you both admired one another for a moment, “s-so-.. I guess we aren’t a-.. secret, anymore?”

Embry winced, before nodding faintly, and glancing up at the others for a brief moment; she’d not meant to blow your and her cover like that, but the dire situation had called for desperate measures that meant your and her exposure - it always would, she determined, if ever she came close to losing you again the way she did, not too long ago, now.

“I guess not,” she agreed, before giggling softly, and crouching down beside you, “but-.. I think, n-now that we aren’t, I - I’m glad, because-.. it was getting painful, not being able to kiss you in front of the others.”

“Right?” You chimed a little exasperatedly, your eyes glinting again whilst you giggled softly alongside her.

“H-Hey, erm-.. I-..” She drew in a shaky breath, before briefly averting her gaze for a moment as if she were terrified of something; of somehow losing you, if she ever said something wrong, and it made you grow nervous alongside her as you wondered why she was even shaking a little; why her eyes were refusing to meet your’s for a moment, until she spoke up again, and everything began to make sense regarding why she seemed so nervous the way she did, a brief moment ago. “When we were out there, a-and I saw you get-.. get impaled by Erica, I-.. I started thinking about things-.. things I’ve never-.. thought about before, the way that I did, when I thought I lost you-.. I felt-.. stuck, a-and I didn’t know what to do; I tried to get to you, but-.. it was like-.. something was holding me, o-or-.. I don’t know, and I - I’m so sorry, I-.. I should have done something, but-.. I-..”

“Ember,” you cooed gently, not wanting her to blame herself for what had happened to you both not too long ago, now, but before you could continue, and reassure her that it was okay; that you understood, she continued, desperate to try and find the right words she wanted to say, and share with you the way she had ever since that moment in time; ever since she’d thought she could lose you, until the other soldiers had found you the way they had, beyond the base walls.

“No, Y/n,” she interjected weakly, small tears beginning to leak from her eyes whilst she tried not to break down in front of you, especially not now - not when she was about to do something she’d dreamt of doing ever since the night she’d first found you, and nursed you back to health alongside her companions, “it’s not okay; I should have helped you, somehow, even - even if-.. even if it meant me losing my life, for you, b-because I owe you that much, and more, f-for making me happier than I’ve ever been, before, a-and I-.. I was hoping that - maybe, a-after I was thinking about-.. about how things would have been, if I did lose you, I-.. fuck, this is-.. I don’t know why this is so hard, but-.. Y/n, will - will you-.. will you honestly make me the happiest woman in the world, by - by becoming my wife?” You would appear taken aback, not realising you’d begun to cry alongside her, until you regained full consciousness, and closed your mouth.

“E-Ember, I-.. What?” You couldn’t believe it; couldn’t believe she’d actually want to ask you to marry her, especially after you’d been made to think that she didn’t actually love you, the way that you loved her, and had ever since you’d first met her. And it was definitely a surprise when you believed yourself to be nothing, compared to her, a pained expression on your face whilst you recalled what had happened to Cynthia, all because of your father’s creation of the Skin-eaters. That was another thing; you’d still not told her about how it was all his fault that the Apocalypse had started; how you could have put an end to it, somehow, the way you believed you could, even though you had been smaller, before you began to understand what he was doing, the time he began to abuse you more, and even torture you by locking you within the lab, when it was dark, and the Skin-eaters were all hissing at you from all around you, in their cages. The memory prompted a shiver to run through you again whilst your blood ran cold; you’d never forget those days, no matter how much you longed to do so. You couldn’t help, but think about the pictures in Embry’s room of her and Cynthia: how they hugged; smiled; cradled one another; how Cynthia kissed Embry on the cheek whilst she giggled, and tried to hide that she was blushing from the camera. Your heart sank; you’d never be able to make her happy, the way her previous fiancé had. “Embry,” you murmured dejectedly, and she would falter upon hearing how disheartened you sounded, making her heart ache excruciatingly all of a sudden, now that she began to recall that you rejecting her proposal had always been a possibility.

“You don’t have to say ‘yes’,” she reassured you, and god did her voice make your heart break right then and there; you didn’t want her to think that you didn’t love her enough to want to spend the rest of your life, and more by her side, when that was something you’d always dreamt of being able to do; you just wanted to make her happy, and you were terrified of fucking everything up again somehow in the future - hell, you knew you probably would as soon as you told her the truth about how the Apocalypse had started, “I just-.. you don’t have to say anything, even, I-.. shit, I - I’m so-.. I’m sorry, it - it was probably too soon, anyway, I-”

“Yes,” you blurted out, without even thinking again about the many ways you believed you could ruin everything, and she would falter, falling quiet as soon as she heard your voice again, prompting her eyes to widen a little, whilst her gaze locked with your own again in the best way possible.

“Yes?” She replied breathlessly, her voice briefly trembling whilst you couldn’t help, but smile warmly over at her, lifting your right hand up to her left cheek to delicately brush away her tears using your thumb. “Y-Yes as in, it - it was too soon? O-Or, y-yes as in - as in you do want to-?”

“I want to marry you,” you clarified a little shyly; it was your turn to grow a little flustered, now, as blood began to rush up to your cheeks alongside her own, “I-.. I love you, Embry, I-.. I’d do anything to become Mrs Hawthorn.”

“That’s - That’s good, because - because I’d do anything to become Mrs L/n, too,” she admitted, and your heart began to pound again; you just couldn’t help, but think: ‘why?’

The thought made your heart sink again; you knew you’d never believe yourself to be good enough for her, no matter what she said or tried to do to prove otherwise; to try and show you that you were more than enough for her, and always would be, no matter what the future held in store for you both, but you guessed you’d just have to try and live with it, and try to go on making up for it by doing all you possibly could to make her happy, so you also knew you should start by being fully honest with her, right, before you both could progress any further with your recent engagement.

Embry then made to take off the ring her mother had given her, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you hastily shook your head, and held her hands within your’s, keeping the ring within her palm.

“E-Ember, don’t,” you managed exasperatedly, your voice close to a whisper, before she faltered again, and warily glanced up at you, her heart seeming to stop for a moment within her chest, “if - if we’re going to do this, I need you to know something about me; m-my father, I-..”

She would hesitate, before nodding timidly, and trying not to grit her teeth upon being reminded about your father, and all that he had done to you, not too long ago, now, before you had managed to run away from him, and he had been killed by the very monsters he had created.

“Okay,” she replied gently, before gently squeezing your right hand within her left one to provide you with encouragement, wanting you to feel as if you could tell her anything, no matter what it was you may be about to reveal to her, prompting her heart to skip a beat - what would your revelation do to you both? How would it change things? How would it make her, or even you, feel? She tried to push the questions aside, focusing instead on you, and the love she would forever hold for you, no matter what the cost of your words might be, once you felt able to reveal them to her.

“I-.. I was too scared to tell you this before, but-.. he-..” You sighed heavily, your voice barely audible for a moment, whilst she tried to soothe you by lifting your hand up to her lips, allowing her to delicately press a kiss to the back of it, comforting you more than anything else ever had before. You couldn’t help, but muster up a faint smile over at her whilst you revelled in how it felt to have had her lips against the back of your hand; you’d never get over the feeling; would never be able to get used to how she made you feel as if you were the strongest person on earth, as long as she were beside you the way she was, now, loving you the way you had always loved her, and knew you always would, even if she decided after today that she no longer wanted you, which you feared she most likely wouldn’t as soon as she found out about your father being the instigator of the Apocalypse itself as you both knew it, today, and were suffering under it for what felt like it could be almost forever, by now. “He started this, Ember,” you uttered dejectedly, and she would falter, her eyes narrowing a little whilst she tried to make sense of what you were trying to tell her, “it’s all his fault - he started it, and I could have stopped it.”

“W-Wait a minute,” she replied a little hastily, confused as ever, “what did he start?”

You would hesitate for a moment, your eyes darkening again whilst she tried to scan them for anything she could pick up on; she didn’t want to think that you meant exactly what she was beginning to assume, but it was starting to look like you were, especially when she noticed that tears were beginning to cloud your vision again.

“The beginning, Ember,” you clarified weakly, your voice briefly trembling; the tears were gradually managing to escape now, whilst you seemed to be growing a little paler - Claire needed to treat you, and fast, if you wanted to make it out of this alive, “he started the beginning of the end.”

🜸

Embry didn’t know what to say. What was there to say in response to a revelation like that? She couldn’t help, but stare a little blankly over at you, her eyebrows furrowing a little, but before she could blurt out anything whatsoever, Claire was dropping her bomb of impatience, and making to push the stretcher inside, before she found herself stuck on the outside of the metal door, a pained expression on her face.

“Ember,” Alexa began, once Shyro and Claire had disappeared inside, “are you-?”

“What - What did she mean by that?” She uttered through gritted teeth, her voice barely audible; she was still clinging to the last remains of her hope that maybe you were talking about something else, and not the Apocalypse that had seen some of her friends dying, as well as her ex-fiancé, Cynthia, before their wedding the next day.

“Embry-”

“Alexa,” she interjected feebly, her voice briefly trembling whilst she sharply turned to face her friend, who winced, and averted her gaze down to the ground, “what did she mean?”

“You know what she meant; we all do,” she murmured apologetically, “I’m sorry, Embry. I’m so sorry, but-”

“Her father started this? He killed Cynthia?” Embry continued dejectedly, and Alexa would fall quiet, not sure what to tell her companion after what had just occurred between you both, before you’d been taken in to be treated by Claire for your recent wounds. “If he hadn’t-” Her voice failed her, before a strained sob escaped her lips; she couldn’t believe it, as Alexa carefully wrapped her arms around her friend, trying her best to provide as much comfort to her as she possibly could, but she couldn’t be comforted, crying quietly into Alexa’s left shoulder. “We - We’d have been-” She faltered, trying to stifle another sob, before Alexa lifted her right hand up to the back of Embry’s head whilst she sniffled barely audibly, and tried to recompose herself, her teeth gritting again a little whilst she thought back to how you’d told her about all the times your father had abused you; she couldn’t blame you, she just couldn’t, though it pained her more than anything to know that you were associated with the person who began the supposed ‘beginning of the end’ of the world, as you all knew it, now, Skin-eaters and rival gangs crawling all over the place. “T-The shit he’s already done to Y/n,” she hissed, her voice dangerous though it was still shaky, “a-and he pulled that crap on her, too? On all of us? And for what? I-If I could-… If I could have been there with her, I - I would have-.. he wouldn’t be-..” She drew in a shaky breath, her eyes hard whilst she held Alexa at arm’s length for a moment. “I would have shot him on the spot,” she determined, certain more than anything that she would - how couldn’t she, after all she’d already heard about him from you?

Alexa nodded slowly, before smiling reassuringly over at her, but nothing could make Embry feel better; nothing, but seeing you, again, even after what she’d just found out from you.

“I know,” she replied gently, and Embry would nod faintly, a pained expression on her face, before she bowed her head for a moment, and distracted herself with Akaya as her four-legged companion nuzzled at the palm of her left hand, sensing that she was distressed more than she ever had been, before, during this moment in time. “Hey, you - you should try and get some rest,” Alexa suggested, and Embry would shrug; the last thing she wanted to do was sleep, when you were being treated, and were probably in pain, prompting her heart to sink - if only she could be in there with you, somehow, “you look tired, and it’s been a long day; Y/n’ll probably be right as rain in the morning.”

“I guess,” she agreed half-heartedly, before forcing a smile up at her friend, “call me as soon as you can, okay?”

“I will, don’t worry,” Alexa reassured her again, and Embry would nod hesitantly in response to her, before mustering up another faint smile, and gesticulating for Akaya to follow her down the hallway, back toward her and your quarters, after finally saying ‘goodnight’ to her companion, and trying her best not to think about you all bloody, and stuck in the medical quarters without her by your side; how scared you would be, but - no matter how hard she tried - you never left her mind, to the point she felt she couldn’t wait until the morning to see you, and a new plan began to form in her head.

🜚

Once she was sure the others were either in their rooms, or on surveillance duty, Embry carefully undid the screws of one of the air vents within the base, luckily within her own room; she doubted they’d be able to catch her, or stop her from reaching you if she took this route, so why not give it a try, regardless of the possible consequences that could await her? Once she had removed the cover, she sheathed back up her pocket knife, and glanced back at Akaya who was whining quietly, evidently not feeling good about not being able to be by her companion’s side the way she wouldn’t be, if Embry took such a stealthy precaution, but she couldn’t let anything, or anyone stop her from getting to you, especially not now.

“I’ll be back soon, Kaya, I promise,” she cooed, her voice close to a whisper, but Akaya would simply grunt, before turning away from her, prompting her to frown, feeling guilty all over again; she hated seeing Akaya like this, but she knew she couldn’t leave you to suffer alone within the medical quarters after all that you and her had both been through today. “I’m sorry, girl, but-.. I have to do this, you know I do,” she added, before hastily pulling herself up into the vent, and then closing it up again; she couldn’t let herself get sidetracked, though she also hated leaving Akaya alone the way she was, now. For a moment, it felt wrong - what if Akaya was hurt by someone? Or even something? Nothing’s to say that any of you are entirely safe here; Skin-eaters might find their way in someday, or if not them, the rivals could, somehow, and if they did Embry wouldn’t be there to defend Akaya, but at the same time she wouldn’t be there to protect you. Her heart sank, and she tried to push the thought out of her head. “She’ll take care of herself; she’s stronger than you think she is,” Embry told herself half-heartedly, before crawling through the vent slowly, trying to think about which way would be the best, considering all the vents were connected to each quarter within the Survivors’ base. Eventually, she found the lesser used Kitchen, where she’d baked you your first birthday cake, prompting her to smile subconsciously upon being reminded of that night, before she sighed, and wondered why her heart was aching again; she just wished you felt as if you could tell her about the Apocalypse, before; about how your father had started it; about how it could be put down before it could progress any further across the entire planet, but then - you’d not said it could be put down. She’d have to ask you, later, if you knew of such a way to tackle the situation you all found yourselves in, as long as you were ready to tell her, she added in her head. She then proceeded to crawl through to the surveillance room, prompting her to have to fight back a grunt; it was annoying, struggling to find where exactly she wanted to go. “Really, Alexa?” She uttered, upon noticing that her friend was still awake, and doodling on the back of her hand, not at all looking up at the cameras she was meant to be paying attention to, but she couldn’t worry about that right now, reminding herself of how you were waiting for her, and could be scared, or sad, making her feel worse as she reversed herself, hoping that she’d be by your side soon, especially after you’d both not been able to say ‘goodbye’ earlier, before you’d been taken in by Claire to be treated for your wounds you’d received not too long ago, now.

As soon as she finally seemed to make it, she warily looked through the gaps of the vent cover, expressing relief when she noticed Shyro; he’d let her in, or at least she hoped he would, without getting her into trouble. Good, she didn’t need the chloroform, then, as she stuffed the little bottle back into her pocket. She then made to remove the covering that was blocking her from you, immediately getting Shyro’s attention as he stood up, and warily lifted his gun, trying to stay quiet, until he noticed Embry, and expressed relief; he’d thought maybe one of the rival groups had managed to break in, or something, as he lowered his gun back down, and wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

“Jesus Christ, Embry,” he uttered, his voice close to a whisper; he didn’t want to attract Claire’s attention, knowing she’d be more than pissed off if she came into the room to find Embry within it, when she shouldn’t be there, especially when she’d broken in using the vent shaft, and not the door, “what the hell are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be here right now, Claire would throw a fit if she saw you-”

“I know, calm down,” she reassured, before swiftly and quietly dropping down from the vent shaft, glancing around to see if she could catch sight of you, only to find herself unable to find you within the room, prompting instantly a sense of dread to wash over her, “where’s-”

“Through that door, to your left,” he answered, and she would express relief, before smiling her thanks to him, and nodding her head, “but don’t be long in there, okay? If Claire comes out, and catches you both together in there, she’ll-”

“Kill me, probably,” she stated, “I know, but I’m not scared of her anymore, especially not right now, so - see you around.” She then wouldn’t hesitate to walk hastily toward the door Shyro had directed her to, before she opened it, and would falter as soon as she noticed you laying upon the white bed Claire had set up for you. “Y/n?” She mustered up feebly, a pained expression on her face, before she timidly inched closer to you.

“Embry?” You began timidly, your voice briefly trembling; you’d evidently been crying, prompting her heart somehow to sink even more. “I - I thought-”

She hastily rushed up to you, before carefully throwing her arms around you, and burying her face into the crook of your neck.

“I missed you,” she expressed, her voice barely audible, and weaker than you’d ever heard it before, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I-..”

You would appear taken aback; you didn’t think she’d still want you, after you’d told her about your father being the instigator of the Apocalypse not too long ago, now.

“You-.. aren’t angry, with me? Disappointed?” You inquired a little exasperatedly, and she would frown, before hastily shaking her head, and holding you at arms length.

“How could I be? Y-Y/n, none - none of this was your fault,” she reminded you gently, and you would frown, before bowing your head a little; you clearly still believe that at least part of it was, regardless of you being terrified of what he might do to you, if you did try to stop his operation with the Skin-eaters, “it was him, not you, remember? He started this; you had nothing to do with it-”

“I could have stopped it, Ember,” you uttered dejectedly, a pained expression on your face, “I could have stopped him-”

“You didn’t know what to do, Y/n - none of us would,” she interjected, not wanting you to blame yourself for your father’s own decisions, especially after he’d abused you and your mother the way he had, “baby, look at me.”

You hesitated, before warily glancing up at her, and she would falter for a moment upon noticing that you were trying not to cry again, only making her heart ache more alongside your own; she hated seeing you upset, and wished she could do more, somehow, to make you happy again, the way she always dreamt about doing so, ever since she’d first met, and fallen hopelessly in love with you.

“E-Ember, please, just-.. hate me; shout at me; hit me - do something,” you begged her weakly, and she would frown, a hurt look on her face - how could she ever hurt you like that? Instead, she carefully lifted her right hand up to your left cheek whilst her eyes locked with your own again in the best way possible, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe for a moment whilst you admired her again subconsciously, as if you’d never seen something or someone so beautiful, as she was, always had been, and always would be.

She wondered if she should kiss you, for a moment, glancing down timidly at your lips, a pained expression on her face again; she was terrified of hurting you, somehow; terrified of scaring you away from her, the way she feared she would after Pedro had assaulted you the way he had not too long ago, now - there were boundaries; there always would be, and it scared her to think that if she lost control of herself, she’d lose you alongside everything within her.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” she managed, her breathing pattern seeming to grow a little staggered and uneven alongside your’s, as if you were both trying hard not to lose control of each other at the same time, struggling to fight back your feelings for each other that longed to be explored even further, somehow, even though you weren’t exactly in the best state to do so after recently being wounded, but you were hyper aware of how she was holding you; how she was practically on top of you - well, not physically, but-.. it was close enough to be like that. “I love you, Y/n, okay? I could never do something like that to you,” she insisted, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and timidly connecting your forehead to her own; you knew you’d never be able to change her mind, though you knew - and it hurt you to think more than anything - that she’d be better off without you. “So-.. w-what if - what if I kissed you, instead?” She suggested, surprising you, and for a moment you had to fight back the urge to say ‘yes’, desperate to feel her lips against your’s again, but - as she drew a little closer, and her lips dangerously brushed against your’s, just delicately; she’d never do anything rough to you - at least, not until you asked her to, and were completely okay with it, it was just too hard to resist her as your heart began to pound overwhelmingly again, and you couldn’t help, but melt into her touch, pressing your lips to her’s in an instant.

She shuddered as soon as you kissed her, melting into the warmth of your embrace whilst she carefully cradled your body even closer to her, your eyelids fluttering shut; you’d never felt as safe as you did, now, wrapped up within her arms, whilst your own arms were wrapped around her waist. You then hastily pulled away, wincing; you’d not asked her, first, you realised, prompting your heart to sink; you didn’t intend to lose control like that, especially not the way you had, as you recalled how Pedro had done all those things to you without you giving him consent at all to do so.

“Shit, sorry,” you whispered shakily, and Embry would hastily shake her head, not wanting you to think you’d done anything wrong the way she could tell you were, “I - I didn’t mean-.. I should have asked you, I-”

“No, Y/n,” she cooed gently, her voice soothing you instantly as you expressed relief, and locked eyes with her again, “it’s okay; I understand, okay? Besides, I was the one coming onto you, m-maybe I was doing things too quickly-”

“You should just-.. go,” you murmured dejectedly, surprising her as she fell quiet, and her eyes darkened, “I’m not worthy of your time, Ember, I-.. I never was-”

“Y/n, stop,” she whined, and you would appear surprised upon hearing the pain within her voice, prompting you to glance up at her again only to find that small tears had begun to cloud her vision alongside your own, “I-.. you are worthy of my time; you’re worthy of all of it, okay? You always have been, and you always will be, so don’t ever go and think that you’re not good enough for me, because you are; you’re more than enough for me, even - I love you.”

“I just-.. don’t know why,” you murmured in a voice close to a whisper; broken, the way it used to be, after she’d first found you, and you had been violated by Pedro, “why would someone as perfect as you ever-.. ever want to waste their time on someone-.. someone like me?”

“Because you’re everything to me, Y/n,” she answered confidently, whilst you warily looked up at her, and tried not to glance down at her lips again, “you always have been - w-whenever you’ve walked into a room, and I’ve been there, I - I felt like-.. like maybe things would be okay, as long as you were there. As soon as I see you, I - I don’t know what it is, but-.. it’s like - something lights up, in me; my head’s clearer than it ever has been, before, a-and the world seems brighter, and like less of a bad place than I thought it was, just because-.. because of you, and then when you leave-.. it all just-.. gets dark, again, and I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s you, Y/n, it’s always been you, for me, and that will never change, I promise, no matter what.”

You couldn’t speak, for a moment, the tears that had been cloud in your vision now slowly running down your cheeks whilst you tried to recompose yourself, a lump forming within your throat; nothing had ever felt like this before, and you’d certainly never felt this vulnerable, yet sure, before, of all that you’d never understood, until you first met, and had fallen for her ever since your gaze had first been blessed by her presence, and frame - everything about her would forever be perfect to you, and you were willing more than anything just to protect, and treasure her with your life, too, no matter what the future held for you both after today.

“I love you so much,” you whispered shakily, before you buried your face into her left shoulder, and cried quietly against it, her rubbing your back to try and provide comfort to you whilst she herself was struggling not to cry alongside you.

“I - I love you, too, Y/n L/n, and I always will, I promise, no matter what,” she cooed, her voice briefly trembling, before you timidly smiled up at her, and she carefully brushed away your tears using the thumb of her right hand, only for you to melt into her touch whilst you both locked eyes again in the best way possible, feeling as if nothing could ever hurt you again - not even Claire’s ranting could reach you both, as long as you were together the way that you were, now.

“S-So-.. you-.. you probably - have a few questions you - you wanna ask me, right? A-About my dad, a-and the Skin-eaters?” You guessed timidly, evidently nervous, and she would hesitate; she couldn’t deny that she had thought of a few, but she didn’t want you to feel as if you had to answer any of them, yet - not until you were better, and felt as if you could again.

“There are-.. some, but-.. you need to rest, first,” she advised delicately, and you would appear taken aback by her suggestion, before hesitantly nodding, and smiling weakly over at her, “want me to stay with you, and keep you some company? T-That is, until Claire kicks me out, y’know-..”

“S-Sure,” you replied timidly, and she would smile softly over at you, glad that you’d accepted her request, before you carefully scooted over a little upon the bed for her, and continued before she could protest, not wanting to take up any space that you might need more than her, right now, “come on in.”

🜸

Embry felt luckier than she’d ever been, before, as she cradled you close to her, her arms around you, protectively stationed beneath your breasts (which she were sure, now, weren’t covered beneath your bandages), not that she had been looking (or had she?). She winced; she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about progressing like that with you yet, especially after what you’d been through with Pedro violating you, and you recently being wounded by a Skin-eater who used to be her companion, Erica. You timidly glanced back at her, before smiling softly in her direction, and affectionately connecting your forehead to her’s; you just missed staring into her eyes; being that close to her, though your bodies were already touching during this moment in time more than they ever had before.

“H-Hey, can I ask you something?” You inquired in a voice barely audible, and she would appear taken aback by your question, before nodding hastily, and smiling reassuringly over at you whilst her heart skipped a beat, and her eyes began to glint a little in response to your voice, no matter how small it was, the way it sounded right now, you fighting to stay awake for her the way that you were, and knew you always would.

“Of course,” she cooed, “you can ask me anything, Y/n.”

“D-Do you think it’s sexy, at all, m-me being associated with the whole Skin-eater thing?” You asked, and you would then wince, realising you probably sounded stupid whilst Embry raised her eyebrows, and couldn’t help, but grin over at you, even after all the Apocalypse had done to her and the others; she couldn’t spite you for your father’s actions; he was the one who killed Cynthia, not you.

“Why? Do you want me to think it’s sexy?” She questioned, curious, whilst you tried to think of an answer, blood rushing up to your cheeks; she loved flustering you; seeing you blushing the way that you were now whilst you tried to find the right words to share with her in response to her previous question.

“I - I don’t know,” you stammered out a little, your voice seeming a little quieter, “I-.. never-mind, it - it was probably a stupid question, I-”

“It would be too bad, if it was,” she claimed, and you would fall quiet, your eyes widening a little whilst they locked with her’s again, “because I do think it’s kinda sexy, actually - you’re my little earth-wrecker.”

“Little?” You pointed out in a soft whine, prompting her to smirk over at you whilst she tried to fight back a giggle, before nodding, and tilting her head partially whilst both your and her breathing patterns seemed to accelerate alongside your hearts.

“What? You’re kinda shorter than me,” she clarified, and you would raise your eyebrows, but before you could protest, she would continue, and practically make you gush even more than you already had, or were: “but I think it’s cute - m-more than cute, actually; I think it’s perfect; beautiful, even, like you - the best height difference I’ve ever seen.”

“Embry,” you whined, your voice close to a whisper again whilst it trembled a little, and she would timidly lean closer to you, the tip of her nose brushing against your’s in the best way possible, “can - can I-?”

You then glanced down at her lips, the words getting stuck in your throat; you still were afraid of doing something wrong; of scaring her away from you by treating her the way Pedro had treated you the night he raped you, but she understood as she smiled softly, and nodded, soothing you instantly as you timidly leaned even closer to her to delicately press your lips to her’s, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst butterflies seemed to flutter around in the depths of her stomach; she’d never felt this way for anyone, before, not this intensely. Although Cynthia did seem to have a similar effect on her, her feelings were never this strong, as she slowly deepened the kiss, and lifted her right hand up to the back of your head whilst you carefully turned within her embrace to make it a more comfortable experience for her as well as you.

Eventually, you both decided to part just so you could prevent yourselves dying from a lack of oxygen, breathlessly giggling softly whilst you admired one another for a moment, just stunned by each other’s presence, and how it made each of you feel warm inside.

“So,” Embry began again timidly, whilst you were still trying to recompose yourself, “h-how are you feeling, after-? Y’know, just - in general, I guess.”

“Okay,” you managed, before shyly relocating a thin line of hair back behind your right ear, “still - surprised, I guess, that-.. y’know, you’re still here, with me, after-.. my - well, my surprise.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Y/n, you - you know I love your surprises,” she reassured you, and you couldn’t help, but smile lovingly over at her, your heart positively soaring alongside her own, “I mean, c’mon - this is partly why I fell in love with you; you never cease to amaze me - where the heck did you come from, earlier? You were really brave, out there. Everything about you is just-” She tried not to allow a dreamy sigh to escape her lips whilst she found herself admiring your eyes again - how couldn’t she? “I love you so much,” she expressed gently, the words growing on her even more whilst a soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips again, “god, I love saying that, now, b-because - because it’s you, a-and it - it feels-.. amazing, r-real, and - and more right than anything else ever has before.”

“You-.. didn’t say the same to Cynthia?” You mused, your eyebrows furrowing a little, and Embry would falter, before wincing, and briefly averting her gaze; it didn’t surprise her to know that it would always hurt her somewhat to be reminded of Cynthia’s death, but she knew nothing would hurt her more, than losing you or Akaya would.

“Sure, I - I did, but-.. it never-..” She drew in a barely audible sharp breath, whilst you began to feel bad for bringing her up again; you hated hurting Embry the way you could tell you just had, a brief moment ago, by allowing her ex-fiancé’s name to slip from your lips again. “I don’t know, I guess it just never really stuck with her,” she stated, though it made her feel worse to claim that it didn’t, when it did, almost as much as it was with you, “n-not as much as-.. as it does when I say it to you.”

You faltered, noticing that she was trying not to cry again, making your heart ache excruciatingly alongside her own as you lifted your right hand up to her left cheek, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst she tried not to break down in front of you; tried to stay strong for you, somehow, as she didn’t want to hurt you by crying again over Cynthia’s death, though it had been a little while, now, since such an event had occurred.

“Ember-”

“You own my heart, Y/n,” she expressed, and you would fall quiet for a moment, your eyes glinting again, and breath catching in your throat - how could something feel so beautiful as her words just did? “You’re the only person who I could ever want to make forever memories with,” she added delicately, “you know that, right?”

“O-Of course I do,” you answered, trying not to hesitate; you still doubted sometimes that you were enough for her, prompting your heart to sink a little; it just hurt, so much, to think that - if you’d stopped your father’s operation with the Skin-eaters - she would have been able to be, and spend the rest of her life, with Cynthia, instead of someone like you, “a-and you know that I could only ever want that with you, too, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She replied, and you would express relief, glad that she did, because making her happy, and spending the rest of your life as well as eternity with her was all you’d ever wanted to do ever since you’d first met, and fallen deeply in love with her outside of the walls of the base.

“Good, I-.. I just wanted to make sure,” you explained, and she would nod slowly, before tangling her fingers within your hair again; she’d asked for the same reason, not wanting you to think that - if she could - she would choose to go wherever Cynthia was, instead of you, because - though she had been fond of Cynthia, she felt different with you, like she had been made for you, somehow; made to spend her life and eternity with you, as if you were soulmates even during times like these, with the Skin-eaters and rival gangs creating havoc beyond the walls of the Survivors’ base you were both currently situated within.

“So - w-what do you wanna do? You’re probably tired, right?” She guessed, and you would nod, begrudgingly, just because you were, until you felt bad for doing so; you just wished you could stay awake with her forever, somehow.

“A little, I guess,” you answered, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, before wrapping her arms around your waist again, “but-.. before-.. before I go to sleep, I have one request.”

“Sure,” she replied, curious to hear what it might be as she peacefully connected her forehead to your’s again, and admired your eyes whilst you tried to find the courage to muster up what you wanted to do again, “what is it?”

“C-Can you - Can you give me just - just one more kiss, before-?” You managed in a small voice, and she couldn’t help, but smirk again upon noticing that you had begun to blush all over again in response to the look on her face, as well as what you were asking her to do.

“What, like - like this?” She jokingly pressed a delicate kiss to your left cheek, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst your lips made the shape of an ‘oh’, leaving you breathless for a moment whilst you revelled in how it felt to have her kissing your cheek the way she just had.

“Well, n-no, but - that was nice,” you murmured a little exasperatedly whilst she couldn’t help, but grin over at you, a giggle longing to escape her lips again; you were just so adorable when you were flustered the way that you were, now, prompting her to develop an urge to fluster you even more, somehow, as she thought about kissing the tip of your nose, something that had also flustered you before whenever she’d found herself subconsciously doing it to tease you, somehow, “b-basically, I - I meant - your lips, a-against mine, a-and then boom - kiss, y-y’know?”

She would raise her eyebrows, as if what you were asking her was confusing her somehow as you winced, and rubbed at the back of your neck to try and recompose yourself somehow, but the pounding of your heart wouldn’t stop, and she was determined to make you blush even more profusely than you were, now, somehow.

“Oh, I see what you mean, now,” she claimed, before acting as if she were about to connect her lips to your own, only to divert the last second by relocating the kiss to the tip of your nose, again leaving you speechless as well as breathless whilst you tried to recompose yourself again, feeling warm and fuzzy inside whilst your heart pounded even more overwhelmingly, somehow, as if it were determined to break through your rib-cage, and jump into her arms just to be closer to her own heart, something it had been longing to do ever since you first met, and fell in love with her the very second your gaze had fallen blissfully upon her in the best way possible, leaving you feeling hopeless, until she picked you up, and carried you hastily back toward the base to get you treated before she and the others could lose you to the Skin-eaters beyond the base walls. “Like that?” She asked, and you would wince, before trying to muster up a response again, but it was like your words were just getting stuck within your throat again, never to be heard as long as she kept on teasing you the way that she currently was. “Did I do it right, or-?” She pried, only flustering you even more, and - success, she could tell your cheeks were getting redder by the minute, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst she subconsciously gushed internally again, revelling over the effect she had on you, and how adorable it made you look, something she still couldn’t believe to be possible as - even without her teasing - you were adorable, whatever mood you were in, so how the heck could she make you even more adorable by flustering you the way that she currently was, and seemed to every time you both found yourselves together, blissfully within each others arms, the way that you were, now, or even just whenever you both were in the same room. That was another thing; she was glad that she and you were no longer a secret, as it had been painful to not be able to kiss, or even cradle you close to her whenever she needed your warmth (the way she often did, every day, or was it - even - every second? At least preferably, though she knew that - sadly - it wouldn’t be possible for her and you to spend your lives as well as eternity within each other’s arms, especially not during times like these).

“Y-You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?” You managed in a voice close to a whisper, and she would try and appear none-the-wiser, though it was hard to hide the smirk that kept on trying to tug at her lips again.

“No?” She tried to claim, but you could tell - just by looking into her eyes, and the tone of her voice - that she was playing with you just to try and make you blush the way she liked to whenever you both were together, like this.

“Not fair,” you whined, and she couldn’t help it now as she grinned over at you sheepishly, her eyes glinting whilst a soft giggle slipped from her lips; it was overdue, her reaction, she knew that, especially after she’d messed up trying to hide that she was, in fact, intentionally just teasing you the way she had been a brief moment ago, now, “stop making me blush, Ember!”

“Never,” she remarked, and you would pout a little, before playfully punching her left shoulder, only making her giggle even more uncontrollably whilst you began to grin alongside her, amused by her reaction to your own response to her teasing you, clearly, “I love seeing you blush - you know I do-”

“Well, guess what? I love seeing you blush,” you corroborated, before leaning forward to press a kiss to her own cheek, before you also did her the favour of placing another on her own nose, flustering her as she appeared taken aback by your actions, but before you could do another, she couldn’t help, but lean forward, and delicately press a kiss to your lips, and you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into it, smiling softly against them, until she held you at arm’s length, and - in the sincerest voice you’d ever heard - she whispered another gentle ‘I love you’, making your heart skip a beat, and - before you even knew it, you were saying it back, before adding, between another soft kiss, the additional four words: ‘and I always will.’

🜸🜚🜸

As soon as you’d healed up relatively fully, and Claire had removed your bandages, you’d decided you should answer all of Embry’s questions, before you both agreed to officially get engaged, and once you’d told her everything you knew about the Skin-eaters doubling up the way they could, she slid the ring her mother had given her off of her finger, to instead slide it upon your wedding one to really make things official, as much as she possibly could, even during times like these. You then found yourselves gradually deciding you should progress your relationship, though you still felt nervous after what Pedro had done to you, even though you knew Embry could never hurt you the way he had that night.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this right now,” you mused subconsciously, whilst Embry was hovering above you carefully, her right hand drawing circles on your back beneath your vest; you were trying to stay calm to the best of your ability, but it was hard when all you could think about during this moment in time was Pedro raping you the way he did.

“Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to do this, baby, I promise,” she cooed, her eyes full of the concern she was holding for you; she was terrified of hurting you, somehow; terrified of knowing that she could lose you, if she did something wrong, or too quickly. She drew in a faint and sharp breath, barely audible; she didn’t want you to see that she was just as nervous as you were, wanting you to know that she was there for you; staying strong to prove to you that she could take care of you, and wouldn’t hurt you the way Pedro did not too long ago, now. “We could do something else? L-Like, read together, o-or just-”

“No,” you interjected timidly, “I - I just-.. I want to do this, Ember, I-..” You locked eyes with her again, trying to appear more confident than you had been, before. “I want you,” you stated, your voice close to a whisper, and she would raise her eyebrows, your words sending a shiver through her for a moment, before she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s.

“I want you, too,” she returned a little exasperatedly, your hearts pounding together, and breathing pattern becoming staggered and uneven whilst it accelerated at the same time, “Y/n, I - I’ve always wanted you, e-ever since I first-.. Do you trust me, baby?”

She fell quiet, appearing a little embarrassed as she averted her gaze, prompting you to smirk over at her after you’d briefly appeared surprised in response to her revelation - had she always been secretly fantasising about you, or-? ‘Cause you knew you always had, her, even after Pedro had violated you, surprisingly enough; the traumatic memory he’d created for you hadn’t affected the dreams you’d been having about her, but then again, you couldn’t think of anything else that ever could.

“Why wouldn’t I? I - I’m just - I’m glad, b-because I’ve always wanted you, too,” you admitted shyly, relieving her as she glanced up at you again, her eyes widening, “t-there was never a day that I didn’t think of-.. think of you, a-and all I wanted to do with you; e-everything I wanted to tell you, a-and-.. all I wanted to see with you, and always will, no matter what. I just - I want everything with you, Ember, including this - I-.. I love you, s-so much, a-and I trust you, I promise.”

“Good,” she cooed, “b-because I could never hurt you, you know that, right?”

“Of course,” you answered, “b-baby, I - I know you.”

“G-Good,” she returned, “I just - I wanted to make sure, before we-..” She cleared her throat, before timidly smiling lovingly over at you, her eyes glinting over at you whilst you warily smiled back at her, and then lifted your right hand up to her left cheek, prompting her to instantly melt into your touch whilst she wondered where you both should begin, until you glanced down at her lips, and she knew exactly what you wanted her to do.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

[shycollectorofdreams]

Can someone who has watched ikwydls and who writes please write a fic about Margot and Alison? with Margot finding out that Lennon is dead and Alison is the one who's alive, can be angsty with a happy ending.

I just need ikwydls fics

[geez-lopez]

I'm here to watch Margot and Dylan play "who's got the bigger one?"

Margot. It's Margot.

[therulerofeverything69]

Hannibal and The Umbrella Academy crossover au???

Five is Will

Klaus is Hannibal

Diego is Crawford

Vanya is Dr Bloom

That’s all I got so far

[vfterluna]

I, Tonya (2017) directed by Craig Gillespie