#almost got into 3 separate car accidents today

[shitty-fate-merch-daily]

Have one day left before the end of my first week at my first full-time job.

Man is this really all there is to life? Wake up early chug, my daily dose of stimulant, and fight people on the roads, work for 8 hours, put my life on the line to fight even more people on the roads, lay in bed and scroll for 2 hours, get everything ready for the next day, sleep, and repeat. And on the weekend I have to do chores and shit.

I understand why all the adults in my life are so ambivalent about the suffering of others and the problems in modern society, the few hours I get to myself in the day I can’t bring myself to focus on anything negative.

I got a chance to finally live for myself during college and now I can’t go back to the dehumanizing structure of middle and high school. Honestly I wish I’d never gone, never learned there was something better.

Everyone else just accepts that this is the way that it is so it has to be done. But having an understanding of capitalism and knowing this isn’t the way it should be makes it hard to imagine any future worth looking forward to. All this exhaustion just for like… an actual vacation every two years? Fuck off.

[goldenorangedawn]

01 - 98

We go to the kitchen (me, chris, jorge and flaco) where we bought rolls and hits, and dropped them right away to candyflip.

We kinda stood out in our raver clothes. Haven’t been to the kitchen in a while but it’s a great place to cap and pregame. Over the next hour nothing much happened except that I found myself talking quite openly and confidently with the others, moving very easily into interesting conversations. This was a little unusual for me as i’m quite shy and overly self-conscious in social situations and it usually takes me a while to loosen up.

At one point Chris turned to me and pointed to the other side of the room at 3 girls who were looking our way. “They’re into you” he said. I could hardly believe it but part of me wanted us to ditch flaco and try to talk them up, but I never got up the courage to do anything. Or likely I was distracted.

I was getting into the music and the next thing I experienced was a striking shift in my visual perception. I don’t mean a hallucination or a distortion, but a wonderful step up in the picture quality. For a moment it was like being in one of those nostalgic TV ads where the world looks all warm and golden. And then I also found that my vision was becoming beautifully enhanced. Next to me was a goth guy I didn’t know who looked like he was peaking. I tried to talk to him but he was really in his own world. And then Chris got up and we all left to the next adventure.

Chris drove us to the edge where the party was in full swing, but not many people there. We all danced with one of their friends ernie joining us.

I felt a new kind of energy frothing up inside me, coursing through my body like champagne bubbles. This was wonderful! And it felt so good!

Mmm-mmm.

I also began to move in time to the music. The music! Oh, the music! Wow! It sounded so good, so organic! It demanded movement from my body, and my body yearned to dance. But chris and the others were kind of bored so we got in the car down south to ch*.

It was*slk you know, so the freaks were out. No cover to get in. We sat at the bar and they let us buy a pitcher pf beer. We drank it and ate chicken wings while chris and the guys looked for parties in the newspaper.

Next we headed out to this other party that was really underground on *sb. We danced like crazy, and this girl chanel shotgunned smoke into my mouth. We talked for a bit and she said she had met me before, but i couldn’t remember. I wanted to kiss her, but somehow we got separated. Later i saw her dancing and making out with flaco of all people. He pulled out one of her giant tits and sucked it in front of everyone. But Chris pulled him off of her and we were headed to the next place.

In the car there was a new upward fizz of energy through my body. It spilled into my head, my face, and found its way to the muscles around my jowls and cheeks. And then it made me do something which was, strangely, almost against my will. It was awakening nerve endings that seemed to have lain dormant for ages. It almost hurt as some inactive facial muscles stirred back into life, but here it came…

I smiled.

I smiled the biggest smile of my life.

Looking at myself smiling back at myself, I felt like a little infant just smiling for the sheer joy of being. The more I smiled, the happier I felt. And the happier I felt, the more I wanted to smile. Everyone in the car was having giggle fits from the rolls and acid.

We went back to *ch by accident, and chris was too fucked up, so we went in and drank another pitcher of beer. Everything had a gorgeous glow to it and we were having a great time.

We stayed until closing time, smoking weed in the parking lot. On the drive back home we went through a drunk checkpoint but they let us pass without stopping. I felt invincible, like everything was too easy.

At home i closed my eyes and saw colors and shapes while i lay in bed. I took a tylenol pm and finally drifted to sleep.

Everything feels very easy and bright today.

[wack-ashimself]

This is why I am never truly optimistic...

My life has been going pretty well. Best in years. My life has usually been...bad on average. Not like the worst life ever, more anytime it goes too good, something super shitty happens. So I was a little wary. Especially cuz the past two days i have been getting BAD vibes. Like car accident or parent's death. Planning on taking a trip to help a friend through a surgery. Go to drop my 3 birds off at my parents the day before the trip.

...go to take their cage out, the ride must of loosened the cage cuz the top pops off, cage crashes to the ground, birds fly off to fuck knows where.

See, once a week, I wished I could set them free. But they're birds from a hot climate. They couldn't last. Today...was the first snow of the season. So even tho I'm soaking wet from whistling and calling it the snow/rain mix, realistically... They're dead within 4-7 hours, tops. I chased them down but my parents live in 3 acres of trees.... and only one really responds to my calls. And I never once saw them after they flew away. After 2 hours, the one didn't even chirp back. No idea if they're nearby or gone.

My dad was like why don't you demand them in their cage? I was like dad...I raised these birds to be happy, and do whatever the fuck they want 24/7. I never really tried to get them to obey me. Just... not hurt each other. These are hands down the most independent birds, but that was my undoing.

I should have put them in a separate box or something. It was the first time I ever took them out of my apartment since I got them 2 years ago. And they were freaking the fuck out. I should have listened. I don't care they're free, I care they're free for a free hours before they'll freeze to death. And that's my fault....remember kids: the only hope you should have is the calm embrace of death. Nothing else is guaranteed...never have hope otherwise. That way, at minimum, when it does work out, you're pleasantly surprised.

It's funny this is the quickest I ever got over something this bad. Cuz I was expecting it. When you have two days in a row of unexplained anxiety over something bad happening, when it does happen it's almost like oh there it is. Also the second it dropped, i knew they were dead. I had no hope of getting them back. Absolutely none. Not just because of where I lost them, which would send them into a bigger fright, but because I know my birds. They do what they want, I respect that, but it's going to get them killed. Also if they get even a little wet, they barely can fly. I don't think I'm going to want a new pet for a while. This...ok, maybe im not over of it, just accepting. Going to try one last time...

[theatreofthelivingmind]

Today's been a weird one. I'm still at work, I work as a gig delivery driver.

I was working on a delivery run, taking a highway exit. Car screeches in front of me. Kitten in the road.

I stopped/hazard lights on, ran out without my shoe on, picked up the kitten. I put the kitten in my passengers side, made my delivery but...

The kitten has now crawled into the interior of my car. I hear a "meow" every now and again. Aye it's a been a day.

So, I guess I'll get home and see if I can tempt the Lil one out with some water/milk/food.

If the Lil one makes it out ill bring th back to my place, plan some separation between them and Missy. If not...I guess animal control in the am?

‐---------------------------------

Post midnight update:

I let the lil palm sized beast rest as I'm guessing they had a bit of a stressful day. I got home and parked and went to check on my familiar Missy.

I went back a few hours later, still have seen the lil beast but I hear a little meow every now and again.

I brought back water, some wet food, a bit of yogurt and a few treats to see if I could lure them out. Also a towel as it's a bit cold out.

Apologies for the crap photos. Trying to care for a new life, trying to approach with some gentleness in the hopes to build trust.

Below is the photos of my attempts at care. Getting up tomorrow to see if animal control can help with a scared kitty.

The Saturday update:

Still no sign of our kitten friend, I headed to my 2pm shift. At about 1:20, heading north on the 101, a car pulled in front of me. I stopped soon enough to avoid hitting the car in front of me, but the car behind me ran into me.

I think there were 2 other cars involved in this. Everyone pulled over, exchanged insurance information. At this point I was already more than likely running on adrenaline and stress only. Still calm, going through the process. But also, hey universe, what's next?

After the insurance exchange, I pulled off the highway at the first exit. The highway exit literally lead me to the local humane society/vet care.

At this point I called my job to let them know I was in an accident/unable to attend my shift. Start to file the insurance claim, call for roadside assistance, while...asking about our cat friend, could I get some help?

The humane society I ended up at is the same one you would contact for animal control, lost or injured animals. They said they remembered me from a few days ago! And had two techs help with the kitten in the dashboard.

We disassembled some of the passenger side dash, Lil guy had crawled up near the airbag.

The vet tech guessed, maybe 3 weeks old? Undernourished, a bit scared, but responds well to wet foods. They are young enough that they would need 24 hour care, so they are off to a foster home. I gave my contact info, for an update.

Uhm...how is Emma doing? The lady behind this blog? A bit stressed. I have to file insurance claims, get a rental. Until then I'm out of work (ugh). I'm planning to crash out in a bit, probably have a bit of a cry.

I like to take some time off at the end of October as for me it's almost a New Year's observance. I might not be able to, so the next 4 or 5 days will have to be that downtime.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh��

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[nightowlfandom]

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher x Reader- 27 (Part 3/Finale)

Read Part 1 | Read Part 2 

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Alright you weenies, here’s the last part of 27....

I realized I’ve also made an error, I forgot that they already killed her other boyfriend, so let’s say the ex they killed in the previous chapter was a different ex.

leggo

...

Today was the day and you were excited.

Vengeance, the cherry on top, the final piece of this damned puzzle. You had snapped. You were completely bloodthirsty now and you WISHED someone would try to stop you. You had come a long way. A VERY long way. It was safe to say both Billy and Stu rubbed off on you a tremendous amount and you were absolutely fucking ready!

It didn’t help that you had two killers hyping you up to all hell. From Billy whispering how many hours were left in the day to Stu commenting about how hot he’d think it would be to have sex in a pool of blood.

When it came time to leave, the boys offered to walk you home.

“So who you gonna get first?” Billy held your hand as Stu stood your opposite side with an arm around your shoulder. 

“Definitely the old man.” you declared. “I want to watch the life leave his eyes. He’s the reason behind all this.”

“How so?” Stu asked.

“He’s convinced I’m not really his child, he’s been trying to get me out of that house since I turned 12...” the guys noticed your significant mood change. “Nevermind that.” you shook your head. “My mom can fuck off with the rest of them, her and her can-do-no-wrong, perfect home bullshit.” you seethed. “I’ll explain while everything’s going down.”

...

“I’m home...if anyone gives a shit.” you grumbled the last part. You walked in to see your mother and father along with Hannah’s mother and father. They were all sitting at the table. Hannah’s mom and dad were bawling their yes out while your parents comforted them.

“Y/N...I’m glad your here.” you father spoke up. “We were talking about funeral arrangements.”

“For the daughter you wish you had instead of me? Not interested.” you rolled your eyes. “If you need me, I’ll be doing homework. Parentals, friends. Friends parentals.” you shortly introduced Billy and Stu to your folks. 

“Nice to meet you.” Billy managed to express. Stu put on a fake smile and waved. 

“Keep your door open so we can hear you!”

“Why would I close the door? You guys would just kick it open anyways.” you grunted. 

You had no reason to be cordial with your family anymore, just because they wanted to put on a show for your guests, you’d give them a damn show.

“Y/N don’t talk to your mother like that.”

“Then I’ll talk to Hannah’s family.” you turned to the two mortified adults.

You could see Billy and Stu out of the corner of your eyes, both looking like they were about to burst out laughing.

“Y/N we have nothing against you.” Hannah’s mom wept. “We knew Hannah could be a bit much.”

“Hannah was much? Oh No Mrs. Doyle. Your husband screwing around with your teenage secretary was much.” you crossed your arms. “Your daughter was a fucking nightmare and I’m glad no one has to put up with her shit anymore.”

You wanted to see just how far you could take this before your parents exploded. 

“Y/N L/N!” Your father rose from his seat, ready to storm over.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Stu was first to stand in front of you. “Mr. L/N with all due respect, I’d advise you against that.”

“And just who do you think you are?” 

“The man whose about to be responsible for your funeral if you take another step.” Billy stood next to Stu, the both of them making a human wall, separating you from them. “Geez Y/N you weren’t kidding.”

“You should see our security camera footage.” you scoffed. 

“Well this has been a lovely chat but we really must be going.” Mrs. Doyle stood to her feet. 

“Oh nononono~” Billy sang with conviction. “Sit your asses down...let’s play a little game.” (I know Saw hadn’t been made yet, just go with it.)

...

Watching back the camera footage hurt a lot more than you thought it would. You couldn’t imagine how everyone else was feeling. Both of Hannah’s parents were tied up with blindfolds over their eyes. Stu had knocked out your dad and tied him to the table while Billy handled your mom, duct-taping her hands and wrists to a chair...

“Look at that. An innocent little girl...” Billy shook his head as he listed to your parents berate you to your face. You blocked everything out while you watched. How Hannah and her would smile in your face all the while being your biggest tormentors. How you couldn’t tell your mother or father because they never believed you the first ten times you tried. 

It was all crashing down on you now.

There was an eerie silence as your crying voice filled your own ears. You were used to crying yourself to sleep by that time. All of this happening a little before you met the boys.

“Y/N, whatever you have to tell us, we don’t have to involve them.” your mother sobbed.

“Mommy....you’re crying.” your voice broke as you opened your mouth to speak for the first time in a couple of hours. “But what about when I was crying?....What about when I was in the hospital scared for my life? What about when you guys were threatening to ship me across country....” much like you did with Hannah, you kicked the chair sending your mother falling back.

“And you.” you turned towards your dad. “I know you don’t believe I’m your biological daughter...and guess what...I hope I’m not either.” you growled, staring down at the now cowering man. “You are pathetic...both of you.” you turned back towards the TV screen. A video of you in your bedroom (since your parents didn’t believe in privacy) was playing. You were on the phone with your friend Kyla.

“No, no I know Ky.” you laughed. You had a much different laugh than you do now. “...I don’t know, it’s hard to trust cute faces like theirs.”

Your eyes widened as you listened to what you were saying. Before you could go to turn it off, Stu had taken you in a hug. “Oh no princess, don’t be rude...let the video play!”

“Do I like them?....Maybe...okay totally!” you watched yourself squeal as you threw the pillow you were hugging across the room. “Kyla I wish you were here to see them THEY ARE SO-” you covered your mouth to stop from shouting too loud. “They are so cute and so hot and they wanna be seen with me!...of all people! No I’m not gonna make a move on them.”

“Awww Y/N has a crushy wushy on us!” Stu gushed. “We love you too baby!” Stu abruptly kissed you, right there. You almost forgot Billy was standing there. 

“Woah...” you almost lost balance. 

“Young lady! How dare you-” You father tried to said.

“Oh shut up!” Stu took it upon himself to finish the job. 

(OKAY SHEILD YOUR EYES NOW)

Stu wrapped a hand around your dad’s neck and applied pressure, so much to the point where his face went blue within a mere 5 seconds. Stu laughed maniacally, only seeming to tighten his grip while Billy continued to antagonize your mother, laughing in her face while she watched the horror happen with her husband.

“Y/N...why?” your dad choked as he struggled.

“Why not...and while we’re here.” you shrugged. “I killed Hannah.”

“WHAT?”

You almost forgot Hannah’s parents were in the room, listening to everything go down.

“Oh yeah.” you shrugged. “Bitch had it coming...the better question is what should I do to you two.” you crossed your arms as you thought.

...(Time skip)

“Pretty isn’t it.” You gazed up at the stars. 

“Not as pretty as you.” Billy flirted, using his sleep to wipe your face. As you all sat on the front steps of your porch, ambulances and cop cars lined up the street for many blocked.

“I agree.” Stu wrapped an arm around you waist. “Be honest, how do you feel?”

“I feel free.” you replied, letting out a large sigh. The cops had just finished questioning you. Your story was clear. Your dad lunged at your mom first and Hannah’s parents saw too much...then he accidently tripped and hung himself. Perfect crime. Billy and Stu were walking by when they heard your cries for help and they hopped in.

As to how you three managed to escape unscathed, they got you out of there in time just as he was hanging himself. As for the tapes playing on the T.V...they were watching old videos to find something to ground you for. (Something they usually did anyways.)

“Good.”

“I just don’t know where I’m gonna live now. My aunt lives the next city over and that’s a long drive.”

“Hm...just gonna have to live with us now!” Stu shrugged, we’ll all be like a married couple!

“All...as in-”

“Yes, the three of us.” Billy grabbed your attention. “Lucky you, eh?” He pecked your lips when the officers wasn’t looking just as Stu planted a smooch on the back of your head.

“Young lady.” the officer walked up to you three. “You’re lucky to have escaped them, that psychopath stabbed your mother 27 times...who does that?!”

You paused before you gave your answer. “I guess he was just fed up, officer.” 

Stu tried hard to contain his laughter while Billy coughed into his hand, you all knowingly shared a look.

Yes...fed up indeed.

(So...I guess this slasher stuff might be a regular thing...I kinda like it)

[doyumacy]

ʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ - 2

ʏᴜᴛᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ, ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀᴜɢꜱ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀᴜɢꜱ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ (ᴏʀᴀʟ ꜱᴇx ᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰ. ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ) ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴘᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 5,2ᴋ

3

two years ago

“起きて、女の赤ちゃん” (okite, on'na no akachan) (get up, baby girl) you hear yuta whisper.

you groan, rolling on your stomach and burying your head in the pillows. yuta chuckles. “come on, doll. it’s time to wake up.”

“how can you even ask me to wake up at...?” you turn your head and check the hour, “seven in the morning?! are you sick to your head?”

yuta grins. “i got a flight to catch, don’t you remember?”

“oh,” you sigh sadly. “is it today?”

he nods and kisses your head. “get up. i’ll make breakfast and then you can come back to sleep.”

you shake your head. “i’ll take you to the airport.”

“that’s my girl,” he smirks and gives you a peck.

you smile and stand up, unfolding your sleeping (yuta’s) shirt. he grins when you turn around entering the bathroom and seeing half of your ass.

so sexy.

once he’s finished cooking, he serves you and you eat quietly. when you’re done doing the dishes, he’s back from his bedroom carrying a small black expensive bag.

you approach him and wrap your arms around his waist. “don’t go. stay and we can have sex all day.”

yuta laughs and kisses you. “sounds very tempting but i have to go.”

you pout sadly. “i will miss you.”

“i know,” he kisses you again. “i’ll miss you, too.”

“can i ask you something?” you ask, caressing his lower back.

he nods. “anything, baby girl.”

“can i stay here while you’re gone?” you smile looking at him. “i love your place.”

yuta smirks. “of course you can. this is practically your place too.”

you smile big. “little tokyo is my favourite place in los angeles.”

“you say it because i live here,” he softly pinches your nose.

you laugh. “maybe. and because the food is good.”

“mmm yeah,” he cups your face and kisses you. “you love eating japanese.”

you bite your lip. “yeah. it’s my favourite. i always devour it.”

yuta groans. “やめて。” (yamete) (stop).

“make me,” you nip at his lip.

“okay. stop it,” he yanks himself free. “i’m gonna be late.”

you giggle. “let’s go.”

(...)

present

“just a signature here and i’ll take it from here,” you hear a woman behind you say.

you shake your head, getting rid of that memory. one of many memories you made with yuta in the place you’re about to sell.

“yes, of course,” you reply.

you sigh the paper and hand her the folder with the documents. the woman smiles at you. “i’ll call you when i have an offer.”

you nod. “thank you.”

the woman leaves the apartment and you hug yourself, rubbing your forearms. you follow the woman, leaving the place shutting the door behind you.

(...)

one of the things people should know about mark, is that his stubbornness is how he usually gets his way. in all honesty, society depicts whoever is stubborn is just a spoiled brat. it’s not generally like that for mark.

he spends his days in the warehouse and his own condo, and night in the streets. but he can’t put the pieces together.

he knows good and well the elegant beauty known as you won’t be involved in a hellhole like that. he does, he’s not stupid. and neither you are.

he sighs and sits in front of his big tv screen and rubs his chin. there’s something about you that keeps making him go back and look for you. and it’s not like he’s gonna stop seeing you since you live with johnny.

and johnny is his sponsor.

but johnny is smart and he won’t let his sister get in the middle of his business, right? for her safety?

“hey mark,” yves calls him, entering the room. “we got a meeting. narcotics deal with the vanguards squad.”

to be frank, he never wanted to make business with them because they were problematic, they are known for narcotics and gambling, but still.

mark stands up and makes his way to the vanguard squad’s warehouse.

mark, along with johnny, yves and jaehyun arrive at the warehouse. his companions sit on the black sofa, their eyes meeting the 2 familiar faces they dread to see. one of them has very pushed back dark hair and a red haired greet them.

“good evening, guys,” the dark haired smirks.

“let’s just skip this,” johnny says. “what is it that you want?”

“well, narcotics of course,” the black haired sits in front of them.

“but we don’t want the crap the yakuzas are selling,” the red haired says.

“we don’t have contact with the yakuza,” johnny admits.

“i know,” the black haired nods. “not anymore tho.”

mark frowns. “not anymore?”

“oh yeah, you’re new,” he laughs. “anyway, i know you have someone that almost conquered the market.” he looks at johnny.

johnny clears his throat. “yeah, well he’s not around anymore.”

“we heard,” the red haired replies, “and that’s what we thought.”

jaehyun knits his eyebrows. “we’re not following…”

“we want what the japanese used to sell,” the black haired one crosses one leg. “ that shit was pure methamphetamine and our suppliers haven’t figured out how he did such excellent work.”

johnny presses his lips together. “as i said, he’s not around anymore.”

the black haired squints his eyes, looking at johnny. “you’re to me, johnny. i don’t like being lied to.”

the red haired stands up and comes back holding a black folder, tossing it to johnny on the table between them. johnny opens the folder just to see a few pictures of a black haired yuta in different areas of los angeles.

he gulps.

“he is definitely around,” the red haired smiles.

johnny closes the folder, ignoring the questioning look of jaehyun. “i’ll talk to him.”

the two men smile. “please do it quickly. we don’t like waiting.”

johnny groans. “and stop fucking following us, doyoung.”

doyoung smiles. “tell yuta taeil and i are looking forward to work with him.”

“what the fuck?” jaehyun stares at johnny, once they have left the warehouse. “yuta is alive and you fucking knew?”

johnny sighs. “not right now, jaehyun.”

“fuck off,” jaehyun groans. “what the hell is wrong with you? does y/n know?”

“no, and she can’t know,” johnny warns him.

“okay, this seems like a family thing so i think we shouldn’t be here,” mark states.

“no no,” johnny shakes his head. “just, don’t tell y/n, okay? i’ll find a way to convince doyoung and taeil to get a new supplier.”

“you know they won’t change their minds,” yves says, looking at her nails. “come on, this is a business. fuck family.”

“you’re a bitch,” jaehyun glances at her.

“keep crying about it,” yves mocks him.

“shut up,” johnny groans. “if you say a word about what you found out today i’ll kill you.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes. “you’re a piece of shit, johnny.”

“i didn’t have a choice!” johnny stares at him.

“okay okay,” mark gets in the middle of them. “whatever the reason was i’m sure you have an explanation, but we need to keep in mind we can’t fuck around doyoung and taeil. they’ll eat us alive.”

“mark’s right,” yves replies. “you need to get your shit together and separate your friendship and business or you're gonna get us all killed for real.”

(...)

“hello?” mark greets after he picks up the phone.

“lee,” you say. “hi.”

“who is this?” mark jokes.

you scoff. “it’s me.”

“mmm,” he hums. “i don’t remember you. who are you again?”

you sigh, trying to keep your patience. “it’s y/n. y/n suh.”

“ah, yeah. i remember you. what’s up?”

“you can pick up your car today,” you announce.

“cool. i’ll be there in a few hours.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

there’s a silence and you clear your throat. “hang up.”

“you hang up,” mark says.

you groan. “you’re unbearable, mark.”

mark laughs. “i ain’t doing shit.”

“that’s why!” you growl. “bye, mark.”

“bye y/n,” you can hear him smile.

you hang up and groan. “keep your shit together, y/n.”

“that was very… bad,” you hear jungwoo murmuring behind you.

“don’t even say a word,” you warn him.

jungwoo chuckles. “why would i tell people my friend sucks at flirting?”

“i wasn’t flirting!”you stare at him.

“clearly.” he hums.

you’re about to close the shop by the time mark stops by. he walks to you, fixing his hair and greets you smiling. “sorry, there was an accident on the 101.”

“yeah, i heard,” you say. “follow me, your car is behind the shop.”

mark follows you and you open the back door garage. you take his car keys and tosses at him. “you can check it out or try it.”

“nah, i trust you,” mark opens the car door. “see you tonight?”

“what’s tonight?” you frown.

“there's a race in southern cali,” he tilts his head. “i thought you knew.”

you hiss. “fucking johnny told me it was cancelled.”

“oh,” mark nods. “guess i just screwed up.”

“see you there,” you grab your jacket.

“alright, gorgeous,” he smirks, getting inside his car. “looking forward.”

you roll your eyes, hiding a smile.

you wear lilac leather pants and a white tanktop, showing your torso off. your hair is down and straightened.

you know the south of california like the palm of your hand.  every neighbourhood or street, you know it and all thanks to your father, who was a trucker and would take you and johnny to his trips most of the time.

“i see you brought a new car,” mark says, walking around the red car.

you throw him a smirk. “it’s taeyong’s.”

“he has a good taste,” mark says, checking the red toyota supra out.

“yeah.”

“but mine’s better,” mark grins.

“is that how you get a woman with you? showing her your car off?” you raise an eyebrow.

mark smiles sideways and leans against the car. “it works, most of the time.”

you nod and bite your lip. “well, it doesn’t work with me.”

“i know,” mark replies. “but still, you would let me fuck you in the backseat.”

you straighten your back up and cross your arms on your chest. “not much into sex car.”

“what are you into then?” mark stares at you.

you grin. “i have to go. see you around mark.”

and you walk away from him, swinging your hips more than you do. mark chuckles and bit at his lip.

this race is more showy, with way more people than the other street races. you’re not racing tonight, but taeyong, mark and other people are. johnny is there expecting mark to win since the bet is high.

as expected, mark ends up in first place, followed by taeyong. mark was received by a big crowd, mostly girls. you roll your eyes and taeyong pats your shoulder. “you will have to deal with his fans.”

“i don’t give a shit about this dude,” you spit out.

“aha,” taeyong nods. “get in. we’re going to a party.”

“did you bring it?” you eye him.

“yeah.”

you smile and get into his car. he drives back to your house and the street is already crowded. you enter your house and spot jaehyun giving drinks to everyone. you approach him and take two beers. you come back with taeyong and hand him one. he opens it and after looking for johnny and don’t seeing him, he takes your hand and goes to the nearest bathroom. he locks the door and takes out a small plastic bag with white powder.

you smile and taeyong pours out two generously thick lines of cocaine on the bathroom counter. “ladies first.”

“thank you.”

you focus on getting the cocaine in your system. getting as much in as you can, but it’s not a race and for the love of fuck, don’t waste the shit. you can tell it’s expensive, and good coke is hard to come by these days.

a few rounds of coke and a fair amount of talking later, taeyong and you are high as hell.

you, taeyong and yuta used to do some lines of coke just to have a bit of fun and feel more relaxed, not making it an addiction of course. you always know when to stop.

“ah,” you stand up. “i need a drink.”

“can you bring me one?” taeyong smiles at you.

you nod and walk to the kitchen. you’re sure everyone at this party is high as hell too, from weed to god knows what. you enter the kitchen and see mark making out with a random girl. you scoff passing next to them and open the fridge. “mmm where the fuck is the buzz?” you ask yourself.

“i’m pretty sure that’s not the place to look for it,” mark says, leaning against the counter next to you.

you frown and shake your head, releasing it’s not the fridge what you opened but the cupboard. you squint your eyes. “correct.”

you walk now to the real fridge and take a vodka bottle out. mark approaches you again and cups your jaw with one hand, looking straight into your eyes. “you are high.”

you shrug and yank your jaw free. “none of your business. go back to your blonde girl.”

“don’t mix drugs and alcohol. are you stupid?” he takes the bottle.

you laugh. “mind your business, mark.”

mark sighs and takes your hand taking out from the kitchen. you don’t know why but your legs won’t listen to you and follow him. you spot taeyong sleeping on the couch you were on minutes ago.

mark takes you out from the house and walks to his car. he helps you to get into the passenger seat and closes the door once you're settled in. he gets in the car as well and starts the engine driving.

you frown and turn to him. “where are you taking me?”

“you need a meal and orange juice,” he states, eyes on the road.

“i don’t want to sober up,” you pout.

“why the hell did you take that shit?” he almost groans.

“it’s a nice feeling,” you shrug, sliding a little on the seat.

“it’s bullshit,” he clenches his teeth.

“ah,” you laugh. “you have never been high, mark lee?”

“i don’t take that shit,” he turns to you. “and if you were smart you wouldn't do it.”

you roll your eyes. “you sound like johnny right now. i’m not an addict, by the way.”

mark parks at a convenient store and he gets off the car. he buys a hot dog and a bottle of orange juice. when he comes back, you have your eyes shut but you’re not sleeping.

you open them when you hear him getting into the car. he hands you the food and you take them. you eat in silence and when you finally finish your orange juice, you look at him. “happy now?”

“not happy,” he replies, resting his back on the backrest.

you stay in silence for a couple of minutes and you look around his car. the black and white interior are cool. “your car’s nice.”

“thanks.”

you press your lips together and stare at mark’s thighs. he has his hands resting on them and you eye at them. they’re pretty and seem soft. a vein popping out calls your attention and that’s when you realize he’s looking at you. you clear your throat and look straight ahead.

“you like my hands?” he asks.

“your ring is nice,” you reply.

mark cups your jaw again, making your face turn to him. “and what about my thighs?”

“n-nice jeans,” you scoff.

mark grins. “thanks.”

you hum in response. his touch against your skin on your face is warm, and you wonder how it’d feel against your p-

“a penny for your thoughts?” he tilts his head.

“i dislike you.”

mark laughs. “your body says a different thing.”

“i get chills just from the thought of me strangling you.”

“kinky,” mark stares at your lips.

“fuck you.”

the lights of the convenient store get turned off and the park is empty. mark never takes his eyes off of you, not sure if he should go for it. he’s thinking about it too much.

“fuck this,” you groan. “can you just fuck me here?”

“i thought you weren’t into car sex,” mark rubs your lower lip.

“i’m not,” you lick his finger. “but i really want to suck you off right now.”

“shit,” he hisses. “it’s all yours.”

your hand reaches for his belt and you undoit slowly, your eye darting to his. you unzip his jeans and palm his clothed dick. mark bites his lips, looking at you. you give him a peck while you take out his dick and stroke him a few times. it’s big and you can see some veins popping out. the tip is red, almost as if it’s angry. you bite your lip and look at mark. “you’re gonna ruin my mouth.”

mark smiles proudly. “just take it slowly, gorgeous.”

you lick mark’s cock to full hardness. mark takes a hand off the wheel and fists it in your hair, pushing you down onto his dick. letting out a long moan, mark throws his head back.

“fuck y/n,” mark pants out as you bob your head on his cock.

you continue to work on mark over with your mouth, tongue slipping and sliding over him, cheeks hollowed out adding the right level of pressure.

mark’s hand tightens in your hair and he starts to move your head more, clearly wanting to find his release. “fuck, you’re so good.”

you slightly bite his tip and you hear mark groan and tighten even more your hair. “shit y/n. no teeth.”

you do it again and he curses. mark shoots into your mouth and you swallow the salty load and lick him clean before putting him back in his jeans. you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and slide in your seat. “now i’m sober.”

mark’s comes back from his high and turns to you, still panting. “want to go to my place?”

“i’m sleepy.”

“sleep at my place.”

“i just gave you head, isn’t it going to be weird?” you look at him.

“nah,” he turns his car on. “i can sleep on the couch.”

mark takes the 5 driving to his place, blasting some 2000’s hip hop. and then he notices something odd.

a car.

that is following them since they left the parking lot.

“what’s wrong?” you ask, taking note of his sudden change of behavior.

“there’s a black car that has been following us since we left the parking lot,” mark murmurs.

“take the next exit to chinatown,” you look at him.

mark nods, eyes still focused on the view mirror. he can’t pick out exactly who it is. mark leaves the freeway, passing through the cars as fast as he can until he loses the car. he makes a sharp turn and takes the 101 before taking the 5 again. no sign of the car. he finally parks his car inside his building garage and helps you to get out of the car.

mark presses the buttons and unlocks the elevator. you rest your back against the elevator wall and shut your eyes together. “do you know who was following us?”

mark shakes his head. “no idea. you?”

“nope,” you look at him. “maybe some freak?”

“hopefully,” he leans next to you.

“how many floors until we get to yours?” you yawn.

“two,” he replies and smiles looking at you. “that tired?”

“it was a long day,” you shrug.

“can i help you to sleep like a baby?” he asks as the elevator door open.

you hum in response, exiting the elevator. mark stops in front of his door and unlocks it. he lets you in first and you’re surprised by how clean and organized his place is.

“your place is cool,” you say.

“thanks,” mark takes off his jacket and places it on the couch. “my bedroom is on the right, second door. i’ll be there in a minute.”

“ah,” you squint your eyes at him. “i told you i’m sleepy. i ain’t fucking with you tonight.”

“and we’re not,” mark replies from the kitchen. “i’m just gonna help you to sleep better. by eating you out.”

you gulp. “okay.”

you go to his bedroom and spot the comfortable big bed. you get off your leather pants and fold them, placing it on the couch next to the bed. thank god you’re wearing sexy panties.

you lay on the bed and rest your head in the grey covered pillows.

mark enters his bedroom and places a glass of water on the bedside table for you and whistles and he notices your white laced panties. “white is suddenly my favourite color.”

you giggle. “get to work, lee.”

mark laughs and lays on his stomach between your legs. his fingers find the hem of your panties and take them off, tossing them across the bed.

one of his hands moves down between your thighs and spreads your legs a bit more. he plants kisses on them and you sigh. “mark.”

he hums, passing a finger through your silk. “you’re soaked, gorgeous.”

mark is not exaggerating, his finger slides inside you with no resistance at all. your hips rock to match his pace. mark uses his palm to put pressure upon your clit, while his finger strokes your g-spot, causing you to cry out with pleasure. mark then licks you slowly and lightly from the bottom of your lips to the top of your clit.

“oh,” you moan.

mark licks your clit again, pressing his tongue a little deeper this time. you moan again and with the tip of his tongue, he works the slick, sensitive skin just beneath your clit. your hips rock back and forth over him, forcing his tongue across your clit and finally down to your opening. fingers still spreading you wide, he presses his tongue inside you as deep it will go. your muscles tighten around him. he slides his tongue back and forth across your opening, teasing you, and his hands strokes the smooth skin of your thighs, skim over your hips. he pushes his tongue inside of you as quick and hard as he can, and pulls it back out again. with every stroke, he feels you grow wetter and wetter.

“mark,” you gasp. “touch my clit.”

he pulls away from you just long enough to growl, “touch it yourself. touch yourself for me.”

mark pushes your hips back down over his face, and this time he swivels his tongue slowly and he pushes it inside. he can feel your fingers circling your clit now, the tip of your fingernails brushing against his hair with every stroke.

with your free hand, you seize his wrist and drag his hand over you until it’s on one of your covered breast. he squeezes it and doesn't let go, and he feels you tighten around his tongue one more time and he call tell you’re close by the volume of your hasp and cries. the muscles inside you ripple around his tongue as you come. you arch your back as he licks you clean and you moan again due the overstimulation.

before he pulls away he kisses the inside of your thighs again and looks at you smiling. “goodnight, baby.”

he hands you your panties again and you take them, putting them on. “you can stay here. it’s your bed after all.”

“not personal, but i don’t sleep comfortably with someone next to me,” mark wipes his chin and mouth with his hand. “whatever you need just take it, okay?”

you nod and hug a pillow. “thanks. turn the lights off please.”

the next morning, after mark tried to make breakfast and ended up spilling the banana smoothie all over your top, he gives you a ride back to your house wearing one of his shirts.

you enter the kitchen and johnny and jisung are having breakfast together. you open the fridge and take an apple. “good morning, where are your manners?” johnny teases.

“right here,” you lift your middle finger.

jisung slightly chuckles and keeps eating his breakfast. johnny shakes his head. “is this what you teach your little brother?”

jisung isn’t your real brother nor johnny’s, but you met him when he was a kid living by himself in the streets. he’s a nice kid and despite everything he has been through, he still believes that there is something good waiting for him.

“aren’t you late for school, jisung?” you ignore johnny.

jisung and johnny look at each other. “oh right. you haven’t been around for a year,” jisung nods. “i dropped out last semester.”

“what?” you frown. “why?”

“i don’t like college,” jisung shrugs. “i like racing. like you guys.”

“how could i not say no to him?” johnny looks at him. “he wants to race then he gets to do what he wants.”

“but you’re a kid!” you stare at him. “he’s a kid.”

jisung rolls his eyes. “you were my age when you started racing, y/n.”

you sigh and rub your forehead. “okay. fine, just… don’t get yourself killed.”

“i’m not stupid,” jisung smiles.

“hey, where were you by the way? taeyong said he saw you leaving with someone,” johnny stands up, washing his dish.

“a ran into an old friend,” you lie, leaning against the counter.

johnny squints his eyes, looking at you. “i’ve seen that shirt before.”

“i bought it when i was in seoul,” you say, nonchalant.

“didn’t know they sell canadian merch in seoul,” jisung mutters.

(...)

“no.”

that is yuta’s final word. he doesn’t want to be involved in that same shit again.

johnny sighs. “that doyoung and taeil guy will kill us if we don’t give them what they want.”

“i had to fake my death because of the shit i was making back in the past. i lost everything, johnny.”

“just cook some for us while we find someone better,” johnny begs. “please. i’m desperate.”

yuta sighs, rubbing his forehead. “fine, but just this time. no more, johnny.”

“thank you so much,” johnny says, relieved. he then scratches his head. “uhm, did you know y/n is back?”

yuta turns to him. “when?”

“about two weeks ago?”

yuta stays still and rests his hands on his hips. “how… how is she?”

“better. she's racing again,” johnny replies.

yuta nods. “she loves racing.”

“yeah.”

“when is she racing again?” yuta looks at johnny. “i want to see her.”

“are you insane? no one can see you.” johnny glances at him.

“and no one won’t. i just want to see her again, it’s been a while.”

“there’s a race tomorrow night. everyone will meet at the santa monica pier.”

“thanks. i’ll be there.”

the next night, you show up at the santa monica pier wearing mark’s shirt again. you say it’s nothing. you like the shirt and it looks great with your black ripped jeans. that’s it.

you spot mark with his gang on the other side of the pier. the same chick is with them and you assume she’s either part of it or friends with them. you frown when you see her getting too close to mark and he doesn’t pull her away. instead, he wraps an arm around her hips.

why do you care? mark was just a hookup.

you turn around and see jaehyun walking towards you. he’s wearing a white t-shirt and a denim jacket. you decide to make a trade.

“handsome boy,” you call him.

“that’s me,” he smirks playfully.

“i need a favour,” you say.

“sure. what is it?”

“i need your shirt.”

he knits his eyebrows together. “my shirt?”

you nod. “i don’t like this one anymore.”

he laughs. “i’m not gonna strip in the middle of everyone.”

“you’re such a pussy,” you groan.

your hands reach the hem of the shirt and you pull it over your head earning the glance of a few men that are around you. you turn to them. “never seen a pair of boobs? losers.”

jaehyun whistles at your black bralette. “oh man, i’d bang you easily.”

“don’t be gross, jaehyun. give me your shirt. i’m cold,” you stare at him.

jaehyun takes his jacket off and then his shirt, handing it to you. it smells like him and you have always liked his perfume. “maybe i’d let you bang me.”

jaehyun laughs and after he’s done putting mark’s shirt on, he puts on the denim jacket. “can i race with you tonight?”

“you want to see everyone lose, huh,” you smile, fixing your hair.

“it’s nice to see their defeated faces,” jaehyun opens the car door..

“let’s go then,” you smile.

you give a look to mark and you notice he’s watching you, eyebrows slightly frowned. you smile to yourself.

as you’re about to get into your car, you look up and notice someone standing on one of the building roofs in front of the entrance of the santa monica pier looking straight in your direction. you can’t see much, but the way the person stands up reminds you of yuta.

you shake your head and finally get into your car.

when you finally arrive at the secret destination, your car and mark’s are one of the few lined up. his car is next to yours and you refuse to make eye contact with him. jaehyun laughs softly. “what is the canadian boy staring at you?”

“because i am hot?” you shrug, still looking straight ahead.

“you are yes, but he seems mad,” jaehyun slyly looks at him. “what did you do to him?”

“nothing.”

jaehyun hums. he’s not stupid.

a flag girl places in front of the cars, the engines are rumbling. all eyes are focused on tonight’s racers. you are placed in a secretive parking lot. the flag girl points at mark, who starts his engines. she then points at you, who replicate that. your hands go up, and then down.

immediately a guy called jinyoung is ahead, but mark and you know that would happen sooner or later. see, a common mistake in drifters is that they are so focused on getting to the finish line they don't even spare a notice at their technique. the point of drifting isn’t just how fast you can go, but instead it’s precision, and making sure your form is on point.

you make flawless turn after flawless turn, but with mark in the lead. you reach for your NOS, but flinch your hand back. no. you are not using NOS for drifting tonight. you see mark make a mistake and his car loses control, earning a low growl from his throat. and past him is your nissan gtr, shining in the dark of night, and out of your window, your smug look is on your face. a smirk with your eyes low. the finish line is less than 20 feet away from your car, and you precisely turn your car, showing it off, having a sharp right.

you won.

and you have won that money. jaehyun is cheering with a wide grin on his face, clapping. “no fucking shit. you’re the best.”

you open the door of your car and mark sees you getting off with a seductive, and intimidating smirk on your face. god, he never wanted to fuck someone that bad until tonight.

[mieohmy]

𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖨 𝖲𝖺𝗐 𝖸𝗈𝗎 | 𝖧𝗎𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗎𝗇

PAIRING: huang renjun x temp blind! reader

GENRE: angst (with a happy ending), fluff, humor, strangers-to-lovers, shared dreams! au, soulmate! au, college au

WC: 7.6k

NOTES: reader is temporarily blind, cursing, mentions of a car accident, trauma, slight anxiety and depression, mentions of injuries/hospitals

SUMMARY: dreams are your place where you feel alive -feel like yourself. the only place you can still see. which means you don’t want to share them. not with this random guy who keeps appearing in them, and especially not since he seems so real -almost like he actually exists in the real world outside of your dreams, but that couldn’t be possible... right?

oof this is late- anyways, it’s this beautiful soul’s birthday today <3 

hbd to our fairy renjunnie ! 

Three months. Three months stuck in that space.  

And all because of a reckless driver. Like they all say, it happened so fast. A single glance of the road. It seemed clear, the pedestrian sign flashing even. 

Then was the rush of a car engine coming closer. 

You suppose it was also your fault. Whoever it was that caused a notification to ping on your phone. It was an almost natural instinct to take it out and check.

But you were never able to find out. 

One of the scariest things in the world is to wake up and wonder why the world is an empty canvas. 

Why you have so many questions that can’t be answered.  

Why you can’t see the spring anymore.

The doctors said it was temporary. Some kind of head trauma from the accident caused whatever nerves to swell in your eyes. 

And that’s why you could no longer see the day. or night. anything. 

“It’ll eventually return to normal, and you’ll be able to see again. Just give it time.”

So why has it been three months and nothing except dark moving shadows and pain?

“I’m sorry, we’re not sure how long it’s gonna last. Let’s just wait and see.”

But how much time did you have to give? 

You were sent home in the end. The other injuries were much more minor, and you were just prolonging your stay. 

Only because you wanted to know. You wanted to know it would all go away. That it would be okay.

You just so desperately wanted to see once more.

They only gave you ambiguous answers. Answers that only made the scratchy and uncomfortable sensation inside you grow bigger. 

And here you were now. Four months after the incident and barely living on your own. Sight not improving in the slightest bit.

You lived separately from your parents, far away because of college. They helped you with all the hospital and stupid complicated health stuff, but there wasn’t much else they could do. There was no choice for them but to work hard and earn money instead of assisting you since bills were shit expensive.

You assured them it was fine, you would learn how to deal with everything. 

Friends were a different issue. The thing was, you didn’t have very many considering you just moved to a new school, but the few you did were kind and understanding. 

Except you never told them about the incident. Maybe because you were in denial. Maybe cause you were ashamed of yourself for ignoring them and cutting them out of your life. Because they got to see and experience everything they wanted while you were stuck behind.

And then you were truly alone. Alone with the faint light and shadows you were still sort of able to see. 

Siri basically became your best friend. You never realized how helpful it could be. Just ask, and it would tell you everything you needed to know.

To be honest, there wasn’t much to do. You weren’t able to attend your classes for the time being, and there wasn’t much you could to do without seeing. 

It was hard to adjust to life without your sight. There were a lot of things you couldn’t do without your sight. A lot of things were knocked over. A lot of bruises on your body from bumping into obstacles. That’s probably why you barely went out, only ever leaving your place for necessary resources to live.

This is not permanent. It’ll all go away soon.

You constantly told yourself that, repeating it in the morning. At night before you went to bed. But deep inside, you knew the real reason for everything. The denial, stubbornness.

The answer was clear. 

Fear. 

The fear of a permanent life without being able to fully experience the world. 

The fear of what your life would become without having the chance to achieve all your dreams and goals. 

You knew you should be grateful. For being able to see from birth until now.  You survived your accident with mostly minor injuries. Occasionally, you would get intense migraines- one where you could barely move- but you truly didn’t want to go back to that place to get it checked. You didn’t even want to leave your home.

At least you could still move and function properly for the most part. 

But it didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt. 

There was one thing. When your eyes closed for the day- when everything was okay. 

Because there was no need to feel any emotions asleep. 

But also because of the dreams. Mainly because of the dreams.

It wasn’t every day. You would absolutely love to dream every night, but if you did, then something must not be right. 

The power to dream and be able to recall everything in the world before you lost it all would be your one wish if anyone asked. 

Sure, you could just close your eyes and remember whatever you wanted, but it wasn’t the same. 

Dreams were like a story. A story you wanted to read. And you could only do it because of your memories. 

Thank the universe for memories. Ones that allowed you to still remember and see again in dreams. 

They were the one thing connecting you to the real world. 

The weird thing is, sometimes you would dream and be able to choose what you wanted to say and do. It was just like playing a fun game where you could do whatever you wished.

But it didn’t always happen. it only occurred on occasion. Why? You had no clue. 

But even so, you’ve never had a stranger appear in one of your dreams before.

ꔫ

You couldn’t recall everything that happened in last night’s dream, but when you woke up, a strange face was the only image stuck in your brain. 

You’re sure you’ve never seen him before. 

Can brains make up random faces? Or maybe you just made up a fictional character because of loneliness? 

Either way, he’s the only thing you can clearly remember.

Your eyes flick open, and it’s the same nothingness.

But his face lingers. Pretty and delicate eyes. Brown hair that flutters in the wind and a gentle smile that sucks you in. 

Who are you? 

Whoever this person was, you hope to dream about him again. 

ꔫ

And he does show up a few weeks later. Or has it been a month? You were really losing track of the days, especially now more than ever.

This time, the image of him is stronger in your head, burning into your skull. 

And you curse yourself for not remembering any more than his face. 

You rack your brain, trying your best to just think. 

Why do some people forget their dreams immediately when they wake up? When it feels like you’re just in one, but your mind starts up again for the day, and the dream vanishes just like that?  

You so desperately want to know. 

You can faintly remember images of a grassy meadow? Flowers? You don't recall any field that you’ve been to, but maybe it’s just somewhere you’ve forgotten about... Perhaps your mind just made your dream to be located there. 

As you get up for the day, you still wish to dream about him. A dream where you can fully control yourself and find this imaginary character you created in your head. Whoever he is.

ꔫ

And the world grants you that one wish. 

It’s been a while since you last dreamed. But of course, you never forgot him. 

The setting sun is the first thing that catches your attention. 

Immediately, you smile, standing up and brushing yourself off. 

The place is faintly familiar, a beach. You know which one. The one your parents used to take you when you were little. 

It looks exactly the same as you remember, but this was the first time you’ve ever dreamed about this specific place before. 

Then sounds of footsteps approaching make you look up.

It’s him.

The fictional character somehow procured from basically nowhere. 

What’s strange is that you didn’t even notice how the two of you were now sitting by the shore, watching the waves flow in and out. 

What’s even stranger is that you don’t question it, and neither does he. 

But you do take the chance to look at him, admiring his face.

“What’s your name?”

He looks startled like he never expected you to speak.

“Oh. Uh, R-Renjun.”

“Renjun,” you pronounce. The name feels unfamiliar on your tongue. 

Now how did your mind come up with a unique name like that?

You shrug, letting the dream continue on its own. 

But wait, you realize, if you were able to ask and think your own thoughts not according to the dream’s... that means you can control this-

Your eyes snap open. You can see nothing. And feel an oncoming headache.

Damn it.

ꔫ

You want to know why you’re so curious about this ‘character’. Why you want to see him over and over again without ever getting bored.

It’s just a dream. Or, several dreams that he’s appeared in by now. 

That could be it, you suppose.

You usually didn’t have about the same person, or in your case, the same ‘character’ appear in your dream three times in a row. 

But for some reason, you appreciated having your own imaginary friend in your dreams. 

 He wasn’t a real person. He wasn’t someone you had to watch out for. You could act however you wanted to him and he probably wouldn’t care. 

Wait-no, you correct yourself. He has a name. A name that seems so far but so close at the same time. 

Renjun. 

You go to sleep chanting his name in your head over and over again. 

ꔫ

“Wait... Renjun!” 

A satisfied grin appears on your face from having remembered his name. 

You stroll along the forest path, an unfamiliar one that you don’t particularly remember ever going to, but you shrug it off and continue towards him.

It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him, not having dreamed for a while. 

His eyes widen, taking you in. “Whoa. You’re here again?” 

You frown. “Um... yes? It’s nice to see you.”

Renjun nods hesitantly. “You too, uh....”

“Y/n!” you beam. You’re not sure why you’re so happy to see him, but any company is still company, so no complaining.

Since you figured you were able to control yourself in this dream, might as well take the opportunity. 

If your brain was able to give him a name and a *cough* pretty *cough* face, he must have a personality. And what better than to get to know ‘renjun’ while you still had dreams about him?

“Do you want to walk together?”

He shrugs. 

And since it’s your dream, right? you start on the path, knowing he’s gonna follow you anyways.

You reach an opening overlooking some city. It’s unfamiliar, but the sight is too pretty you don’t think much of it.

You can’t take your eyes away, the view one you’ve never seen before. One that wasn’t from your memories, and it almost blinds you. Especially since you haven’t been able to experience anything new in a while because of... everything at the moment. 

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe.

“It is,” Renjun agrees. 

Why is it so natural for you to sit next to him, get along with him?

“I haven’t been able to go out like this for a while, so it’s a lot to take in at once.”

He glances at you.

“Really? Why?”

Suddenly the air feels tightening. 

“Um. Health stuff. I guess.”

Renjun nods. “That’s understandable. But going out might be good for you. It’s nice to get a little fresh air every once in a while.”

His words hit differently. It rings inside of you, making you sit up. 

“You’re right, Renjun. I should go out more.” Your voice is quiet but smooth. 

Suddenly, he laughs. It’s a beautiful sound flowing out in a beautiful place. 

“I say that, but honestly, I’m also holed up inside all day. I need to go out more too.”

You don’t get what he means by that- why does it matter to a non-existent person how often they go outside?- but the feeling of just being here is incredible. You can’t waste your time in this dream pondering on pointless thoughts. 

“You should take advantage of it. You never know what could happen one day. Never take things for granted.” You finish, voice suddenly serious.

He looks surprised. “Oh. I suppose you’re right. Thanks, y/n.” 

Instead of responding, you sit back on the ground, looking at the dream -but still beautiful- sky.

Your hand pats around for a second before landing on its target. Your fingers wrap around renjun's, pulling him back so he plops down next to you with a grunt. 

“Geez, could’ve given a warning.”

“There’s no need for warnings here,” you sigh. 

Sure, the clouds aren’t real, but you’ll take any chance to see something you can’t in reality anymore. 

“Y/n,” he starts.

And when you turn to look at him, his face is a lot closer than you thought.

There’s a pause. 

The last things you remember are his long fluttering eyelashes and alluring brown eyes- ones that look so realistic and strangely familiar? 

That morning, you wake up with the scent of the woods still lingering in the air and a little more ease in your heart.

ꔫ

Over the next couple of months, Renjun keeps appearing. And you’re completely fine, even delighted with that. 

Now you’re always excited to go to bed, hoping each night that you’ll dream about him. 

Even as the days get hotter and your a/c is definitely getting overused, you find yourself thinking about him and imagining if he was next to you. 

You had to keep reminding yourself that Renjun wasn’t real. No matter how much you wished he was. 

But you still considered Renjun your friend. Technically, your only friend.

And each time you met in your dreams, you felt happier and more content. You felt alive next to him, your heart that always beat faster around him only confirming it. 

Sometimes you’d spot Renjun in a place from your memories, and sometimes he would appear in a completely unfamiliar area to you. 

You didn’t care enough to think twice. A new place with new sights was a highlight to your encounters. 

And today, it was no different. A colorful park. You know you’ve never been here before, but it feels like you’ve seen it somewhere..... perhaps somewhere online? 

Ever since the second time you met him, you noticed a theme with the unknown places you sometimes ended up in. 

Mostly in nature, surrounded by fresh air and plentiful green. You were confused, but I mean, who cares? They were beautiful, peaceful. Places that made you forget everything. 

You find Renjun sitting down at a nearby bench, messing with his hands.

“Hi.”

He looks up, attempting to smile, but it falls short. “Hello, y/n.”

That’s interesting. Renjun always seemed happy to see you. At this point, you can tell when he’s acting strange or not.

You decide to play along. “What’s up?”

“Oh. It’s nothing. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff.” You cock an eyebrow, amused. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt weird when he says something like that.

“You know, for being an imaginary character, you sure act like a real person.”

“What did you just say?” Renjun stands up.

You follow, getting up and looking at him, confused. “What?”

“What the hell do you mean by imaginary?”

“Imaginary? You don’t exist -like you’re not real?”

“No way.”

Your eyebrows raise. Why was he getting so defensive over this?

“I’m not an imaginary character- you are.”

A scoff escapes your lips. What the fuck?

“Stop talking nonsense.” Even though you’re trying to stand your ground, you can’t help but reevaluate everything. You look at him, panicked but still staring straight into his eyes as if to say, stop the joking right now.

Renjun only stares at you, fighting back with a headstrong expression. “I’m not. So you should stop too.”

You place your hand on his arm, inhaling.

Renjun tries to pull away, bewildered, but you keep your grip.

His arm feels warm, veins partially showing through. Almost like a real.....no way. But there’s even a faint scar on his wrist. Your brain couldn’t possibly be so meticulous as to add such details to a fictional person.

Your eyes flick to Renjun, studying him, memorizing everything you can about him.

Your breathing is heavy as you step closer to him, almost in a daze. “If you’re not just an imaginary person I created in my dreams,” you whisper, watching as he swallows and his adam’s apple bobs up and down-

“Then who are you?”

But before he can say anything, the world fades to black. 

You wake up with an immense urge to scream in frustration but also hide away to just think everything over.

You lay in bed for what feels like hours. Contemplating. Panicking. 

This was a joke, wasn’t it? 

He’s lying. 

Just a dream? 

But this time, you can’t say that it was “just a dream..”

Your hand punches the bed in defeat.  

You don’t understand. How are you able to see another living and breathing human in your dreams? 

All the things and places you were able to dream about were because of your memories. But Renjun... Renjun was a complete stranger. 

So how are you able to see him perfectly fine?

You think back to all the previous times you met him. 

If he truly was real, then he must’ve been dreaming too? Since he believed you weren’t real either? 

And all the unrecognizable places you saw -they must exist in real life? 

That means.... you and Renjun must be sharing dreams.

There were a lot of questions. All that were making your brain pound. 

More importantly, how the fuck are you even able to share dreams with another person? 

ꔫ

You spend every night praying that you’ll fall asleep and see Renjun again. 

Renjun? Is that even his real name?

Oh my god, you don’t know anything about him. 

But for some reason, it isn’t hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that he exists. 

His reaction seemed so real -he couldn’t possibly be faking right? 

You smack your head on the pillow. Many times. Repeating, “Go to sleep. Dream. Go to sleep,” over and over again. 

Until eventually, you do. 

And when you find yourself at your old middle school- gross- you immediately start. 

Getting up, you navigate throughout the old place. Everywhere’s blurry and hazy though, you suppose it’s because you haven’t been here in a while and forgot.  

Where is he? You know he has to be here somewhere. 

You spot his familiar silhouette. Target acquired. 

He must’ve felt your presence too, since he turns around to face you. 

You’re about to say his name, but then you remember the whole ‘he’s actually a real person thing’ and then you can only splutter out an accusing “you!” with an accompanying point of a finger. 

“Me?” His eyes widen. “No-you’re not supposed to be a real person. So who are you?”

“I’m y/n.” You repeat yourself again with more force. 

“This is my dream, and you’re in it. Look,” you gesture around. “This is my old school. If I wasn’t real, could we be here at a place like this?”

Renjun falters, and you exhale. “I’m not joking. I swear. My name is y/l/n y/n.”

He holds his hands out. “B-but how? How can you-?”

You shake your head wearily. “I don’t know. I don’t even know you!” 

He sighs in defeat. “My name is Renjun. Huang Renjun. And I promise I’m not joking either. I truly thought you were just a figment of my imagination.” 

You nod, fidgeting before holding out a hand. “Well then, I believe you. Nice to meet you,” you look into his glittering eyes, “Huang Renjun.” 

When his hand touches yours, you feel a rush of emotions. 

You think he does too, judging by his tightening grip on yours. 

He quickly takes his hand away, making you frown. “And just to prove it, you know the forest we were at once?”

You nod, recalling the pretty leaves. You haven’t seen leaves in a while.....

“It’s near my city in the real world. And that mountain too.”

Then it hits you. You glance up at Renjun, surprised. 

“No way. I know where you’re talking about. You live like, a couple of hours away from me.” 

“Wait, really? Where do you-“

You sit up, feeling the familiar sensation of a blanket around your legs. 

And then let out a loud screech of frustration - while also internally apologizing to your neighbors.

ꔫ

When you meet Renjun in the next dream, you pick off where you left off, and move into telling each other about your actual lives.

“You study plants? That explains why we’re always near grass in your dreams.”

“Hey!”

“I’m joking. It’s really nice. I like it more than you may think..”

“Seriously,” you look up from your position on his lap, “savor it while you can.”

He nods dutifully. To others, it may seem annoying or strange that you’re constantly telling him to enjoy when he still has the time, but Renjun appreciates it. 

It’s always a nice reminder.

He assumes something must’ve happened to you before, but nevertheless, he doesn’t pry. 

“What about you? What are you studying?”

Suddenly, you can’t look at him. You're unable to tell him that you don’t even attend school anymore. 

“Um, I’m still deciding... it’s hard, you know?”

“I get it. Comfortably take your time. You don’t have to rush, do what you want.”

Your heart warms. 

“Can you cook?”

“Eh.”

“What about roller skating?”

“I’m a pro.”

“Bet I could beat you.” 

“Oh yeah? Just wait, one day we’ll go together in person, and I’ll kill you at it.” 

“What about aliens?”

Your eyebrows raise. “What about aliens?”

“What- what do you think of them?”

“Oh. Aliens are cool.” 

“Do you think they’re real?

“Sure. I mean, if we’re able to share dreams like this, then why can’t aliens exist too?”

You miss the growing smile on renjun’s face. 

“.... is this what you really look like in real life?”

“What- yes! Why would I look like someone else in my dream?”

“I dunno, you’re a lot more handsome than most guys I can remember..” you trail off, hoping he doesn’t catch the rest of the sentence. He does. 

That goes on for a while, asking each other random questions. But while you’re still here in the dream, you should take advantage of it. 

Standing up, you brush yourself off. 

“Huh, what’s up y/n?”

“The sky.”

Renjun scowls. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.”

And then you sprint off, yelling, “first one to the tree gets bragging rights!!”

Renjun falls halfway, and you have to help him and his dramatic ass. 

ꔫ

When Renjun brings up the prospect of possibly meeting each other in real life, you’re both really excited at first. 

But then it hits you. That’s right. You’re kinda blind at the moment. 

You never once told him about your... sight problems, probably because you first thought he wasn’t even a real person, and it never seemed important. 

As Renjun sits there, excitedly listing off ways to find each other that actually while you’re awake, you can only absentmindedly nod, a storm brewing inside you. 

It makes your insides churn. Should you tell him? 

You hated lying, but there was that growing insecurity rising up. 

What if he finds out everything and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore?

What if Renjun doesn’t want to be your friend? 

What if... 

He leaves you?

“Y/n???” He waves a hand in front of you. 

You blink. “Yes?”

“I was just talking about how it’ll take around 3 hours to take the subway to your city or, yours to mine. When we both have a free day, we should meet up!”

He looks so excited and cute, but you still cringe. When was the last time you took the subway? 

You nod uneasily. Renjun must notice your expression because he turns concerned, “Are you alright?”

You hastily smile. “Fine. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff,” you joke. 

That answer must be good enough because he drops the subject. 

What have you gotten yourself into?

ꔫ

And for the first time, you’re scared to dream. 

Scared to see Renjun. 

Stress and anxiety gnaw at your head, swirling thoughts constantly floating in and out. 

Renjun won’t like you anymore. 

He doesn’t want to be with a liar.

And after he excitedly mentions that he obtained an internship near your city in the spring, your guilt and frustration grow more.

Since that one conversation, you’ve been having more and more headaches, most likely because of the lack of sleep from stress.

Renjun’s probably sleeping peacefully hours away from you as you stay up, plagued with concerns.

You shake your head, wanting to get rid of bad thoughts so the pain doesn’t overtake your brain again. 

Think of happy things. Happy memories when you were young and carefree. 

Like.... the one water park you went to with your friends years ago. That was a good memory.

You rack your brain.

Wait a second -what did it look like again?

ꔫ

As the air turns colder, you have to bust out the old heater that hasn’t been used in years-the dust floating in the air lingered for days. 

Overtaking your breathing, your brain. 

Just like your thoughts. 

You’re still constantly worrying about Renjun.  Because of Renjun.

And yourself. 

You and Renjun. 

Renjun and you. 

All those thoughts weren’t good for you. Why you may ask?

More thoughts lead to overthinking. 

Overthinking leads to stress. 

Stress causes the agonizing headaches. 

And those headaches are the bane of your existence.

Because it makes you unable to recall. 

The headaches weren’t a big deal at first. After the car accident, the doctors said your brain seemed clear for the most part. 

But obviously- it wasn’t- since you were here now with daily migraines- the pain multiplied from anxiety. 

And that caused your memory loss.

It was simple things at first, just like what you ate for the day and where you put your stuff. (It was already difficult since you couldn’t see, and the forgetful memory was making it so much worse) 

And then it was the more important recollections. 

Like what your parents' birthdays were. Your favorite restaurant. What schools you attended.

You don’t want to admit that the only thing left perfectly clear in your brain is yours truly, Huang Renjun. 

This isn’t happening. 

Pigs can’t fly and.... you can’t remember. 

Why? Every time you try to think of something, your brain pounds like crazy.

You really don’t want to believe it’s an effect of the accident. And the stress. 

You don’t want to think about it at all. 

But sadly, you were still human and had to sleep. 

Which meant eventually dreaming sooner or later...

“Y/n!” 

Wait. What?

“What’s going on?”

No. What’s happening?

“I know people don’t dream that often, but three months and nothing from you? I went to bed, happy at the thought that we might meet again, but it’s like you’re purposely not sleeping and avoiding me or something-!” 

There’s no way you heard everything he just said, even his irritated tone that you’ve never heard before didn’t faze you. 

Due to the fact that everything except Renjun himself was a blur.

Basically- you couldn’t see shit. 

Your heart rate begins to pick up. You swirl around, squinting and rubbing your eyes like crazy. 

Why? Why is this happening? Why can’t you see the dream world around you?

But you know the reason- it’s quite obvious. 

Since your memory disappeared just like that. And without your memories, everything has crumbled to nothing. 

Ironically, you forgot about Renjun who was still standing there, perfectly fine.  

“Y/n? What wrong?”

He snaps a finger in front of you, and you barely react.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” Your voice has been reduced to a whisper.

“Listen-I-why are you lying? I thought we were friends. I thought we trusted each other enough to talk honestly.”

It’s too much. Renjun’s growing anger plus everything you’re experiencing at the moment is overwhelming. 

“Just stop-!” You screech, arms held out in front to protect yourself from everything. 

He freezes. 

And you collapse on the ground, hands shaking as you look around. Look for anything you can clearly see. 

There’s nothing.

The worst pain ever runs through your brain- the feeling to curl up in a ball and stop everything is strong. 

“Y/n- please. Please talk to me.”

He leans in front of you. 

“I- see-“ you splutter, collecting your thoughts.

Your mouth forms the words but immediately comes to a halt.

He doesn’t know. 

You stare at him, helpless. Your eyes flicking all over the place, pupils dilated. 

Renjun does the only thing he can think of at the moment. 

He places his lips on yours, and your eyes automatically close. 

Your heart steadies, adrenaline slowly fading. 

He just feels... right. 

And then his hand brings your body closer to his, making- 

You sit up in bed, breathing heavily. 

All you can think is, 

what a dream. 

And as much as you still feel the ghost of his soft lips on yours, you can’t get over the fact that everything else was blurry. 

You could only see faint lights and shadows. 

You couldn’t remember. 

ꔫ

No. 

What does the sky look like again? 

No.

Why can’t you remember the day anymore?

You spend days- weeks maybe even- trying to recall as much as possible. And spend less time attempting to sleep for the chance that you’ll have to see Renjun again. 

Your mind is in shambles. One part of you is yearning to see him -find Renjun in the dreams again and explain everything. 

But the other part is scared. Extremely terrified at his reaction. His feelings. 

Will he still- you dare to say- like you? 

I mean, that kiss had to mean something, right? 

Right?

You smack the nearest object in exasperation.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. 

Can everything just stop? 

Your poor pillow has been punched into oblivion by now. 

Either way, you fall into what could be considered a slump. 

A slump in life. 

The uncomfortable sensation grows bigger and bigger each day since the only thing you can do is stay at home and dwell on the fact that your life is basically over now.

There's no recovery in sight -ha- of your future. 

Each night is spent exerting your aching brain to recall. 

The only thing that comes back is Huang Renjun.

But once again, you’re only human. A human that occasionally passes out from the lack of sleep.

Renjun would be nagging at you. Your heart automatically drops at the thought of him. How long has it been since you last seen him?

More importantly- how long has it been since you last properly slept? 

You can’t even see yourself but you know the eye bags you’re carrying are bigger and brighter than your future. 

You call out for Siri. 

“It’s currently 3:21 AM.“ 

You sigh, so desperately wanting to chuck your phone across the room even though you know finding where you threw it would take hours. 

Pathetic. 

And then you figured you must’ve fallen asleep. 

Because you open your eyes. And at first, it just seems like another day of barely making it through life, but no- this is different. 

You’re not in your bed. You’re on a blank, hard surface.  

You realize where you are right as a familiar voice calls out your name. 

The fear that courses through you is a feeling to laugh at.

“What the fuck, y/n.”

There’s no way you’re getting out of this. 

“What’s going on? I just wanna know why. You ghost me for months without saying anything. I deserve an explanation.” Renjun’s fists are clenched at his side, anger barely seeping through. 

You sigh wearily, partly from him and partly from the fact that you still can’t see anything else except his face. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through stuff, okay?” You hope your tone is enough to tell him that you don’t want to talk about this anymore.

But it isn’t. 

“What things? You can tell me, y/n. I thought we were close enough for that. I thought we trusted each other.”

As much as your heart clenches at his words, it isn’t enough to suppress the frustration building inside you. 

“This isn’t about trust, Renjun. It doesn’t matter if I trust you or not. What does it have to do with me telling you about my life? It’s my privacy.”

His eyes burn into yours. 

“So you don’t trust me?”

“What- of course, I do! Why are you so stuck up on that?”

“Cause I care about you,” he groans, running his hands through his hair. “I care about you- a lot- but clearly, you don’t seem to return the feelings!” 

“What? What makes you think that!?” 

“Because you act like this!” He forcefully gestures. “Because you push me away without any explanation and don’t show any sign of your feelings! Don’t seem affected like I am when I haven’t seen you in months and miss you, okay?”

You pinch your nose bridge, annoyed. “Well, I’m different. If you cared about me that much, wouldn’t you have noticed?”

You know your words mean nothing. They’re just randomly produced from the deepest, darkest insecurities that are pent up inside and need to escape. 

“What’s so different about you? As far as I’ve known and seen you, you’re just another human like me-“

“-Because I can’t see fucking anything, okay?” You yell, forcing yourself to take a breath. 

“I’ve been blind for what seems like forever, and at first it was all okay, but now I can’t remember anything except you, which means I can’t see shit. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

You feel your body trembling, barely able to look at him. 

A good silence lasts for a couple of minutes. 

You turn around, anywhere away so you don’t have to look at his face anymore- since he’s stupidly the only thing you can even see. 

You don’t know what to feel. Perhaps relief for finally saying it? Exhaustion from keeping everything pent up and finally letting it all out? 

Then you recognize the sensation. 

You’re waking up. 

You think Renjun calls your name at the exact moment. But it’s too late. You’re already gone at that point. 

And now you don’t know what to do. 

ꔫ

After that, you get the best sleep in your life.  There’s surprisingly no more stress about lying to Renjun, you already spilled everything. 

On the other hand, there is his whole response. But you bury those worries deep inside. 

Maybe it’s for the better, you think. After the fight, you couldn’t the guilt go. The angered lies that slipped from your lips won’t leave. 

Renjun doesn’t deserve someone like you. 

But for once, you decide to go out. To get some needed fresh air like someone once advised you to, and also because you’re running out of food to eat. 

Before you leave, you grab the sunglasses on the counter and put them on. Most people would just think you’re avoiding the spring sun, which is exactly what you wanted.

You didn’t want them to see your blank stare and then realize that you had lost your sight. It was simply more comfortable for you and others. 

It was always a challenge to go out. Strange how normal people would never think twice before closing the door behind them and entering the outside world, but it became something you had to prepare yourself for. 

Taking a deep breath, you close the door behind you and navigate as best as you can to the nearby cafe. 

Sure, you barely left your place, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy a refreshing drink outside every once in a while. 

Two people bump into your side, and you barely spare them a second, continuing on. 

An apology is given, but you brush it off, hiding your face and quickly continuing on. 

That’s strange. One of the voices sounded really familiar, but it was too quick, and you barely heard the voice enough to pinpoint it. 

It happened all the time- if not always- running into another person. But this time, it was different. After touching the stranger's shoulder by accident, it felt like a flame burst inside of you. Intense enough to make your head spin a little and set your body alight. 

And the sun wasn’t making it better. 

Gosh, why is the sun so bright today? 

You brush it off, opening the door to the cafe and taking your sunglasses off to be polite and not seem weird or suspicious. 

You squint at the board, cautiously walking to the register and ordering. 

After they confirm your order, you find a nice spot alone in the corner. 

It’s not too busy or slow today, you note. But soon boredom overcomes you, and eventually, you find yourself staring at the entrance door whenever someone new enters for no reason in particular. 

The entrance bell rings, and your eyes subconsciously flick to see who it is. 

Wait. 

No fucking way. 

It can’t be. 

Huang Renjun?

 in your city?

Entering the same cafe you were currently at? 

You suddenly remember. One dream, a long time ago when he excitedly rambled on about that internship he got. Located where you lived. That’s right, he said it was in the springtime. And here he was now. 

A string of curses run through your brain, your heart beginning to pick up its pace in panic. 

You debate just leaving. But your order..... oh god, what if he sees you? 

Will he recognize you? Stupid, obviously Renjun would recognize you. 

What if he comes up to you? 

Shit, you have no clue what to do. 

Maybe if you just look away and hide your face when he passes, then he won’t see you. 

You look down, pretending to be occupied with your shirt and shuddering when you hear his voice get closer.

You let out a tiny sigh of relief when he passes with someone else, you suppose a friend. But it’s not over. 

“Order for y/n!”

You unleash more curses internally. Of course, they had to call your name. Of fucking course. 

You desperately hope Renjun isn’t paying attention.  

Exhaling, you try to act as normal as possible walking up to get your drink. But before you even make it there, you can feel eyes on you. It burns the back of your head. 

You scream into your mouth, teeth gritting to barely muffle the sound. 

It’s okay, just pretend you can’t see him -you already yelled at him confessing that you were blind anyway, so maybe he thinks that you can’t see him. 

It’s fine. 

Act normal. 

You obtain your order and take one step carefully at a time. 

Oh no. 

Oh no- he’s coming towards you. You can just barely see in your peripheral view Renjun approaching and getting closer. 

“Y/n.” 

You try not to stiffen at his voice. Just act like you’re blind and can’t see him. 

Turning around, you pretend to act blank. “Yes? Who’s talking to me?”

“Y/n,” Renjun says more insistently. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you. Who are you?”

And then his hand reaches out to yours.

You panic, swatting it away. 

You hear renjun's breath hitch. “Wait- how did you do that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Y-you,” he stutters, “you blocked my hand. B-but how? I don’t-“

You frown. “Cause I saw it?”

Your hand raises up to cover your mouth. 

You saw his hand. 

You can see. 

What- when did this happen? 

How did this happen?

Why didn’t you notice? 

There are so many things swirling in your mind, but Renjun calls your name again. 

You look back at him, truly look at him, and suddenly it’s like all the puzzle pieces fit together. 

He’s breathtaking. It’s so different seeing him in person and not in your dreams. If anything, you’re jealous of how much prettier he seems in real life. 

You’re not sure how long you stare at each other. Seeing those eyes that once captivated your soul right in front of you. 

“The last time I saw you was in my dream,” you breathe, “but it feels like the first time I’m meeting you.” 

Renjun doesn’t say anything, and abruptly you find yourself in his arms. 

You don’t care that you’re hugging in the middle of a public place, it just feels so right. 

You bury your face in his shoulder, unable to speak.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was just so afraid at what you'd say, and I just liked you too much and I’m sorry-“

Renjun pulls back, staring at you like he hasn’t seen anything more magnificent before. 

“It doesn’t matter. You can tell me everything you want now.” 

ꔫ

“I’m happy to report that the swelling in your optic nerves has gone down. It’s like a miracle occurred,” the doctor remarks.

Luckily, renjun’s internship lasted for a couple weeks, and you were able to spend as much time as possible with him. The only time you weren’t next to his side was when he was working or you were at the doctor's to check up on your condition. 

There was no more blankness. There were no more headaches. It’s like Renjun brought a breath of fresh air into your life. It’s almost like he was meant for you. 

You simply smile and laugh at the doctor as you think, 

Yes, a miracle did happen. One where I met the person who seemed only like a dream and learned the most important lesson in my life. 

That dreams really can come true.

Bonus : 

“Renjun, you’re going the wrong way.”

“Well excuse me for not having ever been to this place before.”

“Okay, you’re excused.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, and you grin cheekily before taking his hand. 

“C’mon, we still have to get to the top.” 

“Did you get the blankets?”

“Yep.”

“And the snacks?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got your favorite.” 

It’s been so long since you came here. Your favorite spot to stargaze. The one you went to all the time before the accident. The one you were going to when the car accident happened. 

But this time it was different. You had Renjun next to you. 

After ten minutes of hiking and Renjun complaining, you finally make it to the top of the secluded hill, the night sky seeming so close and yet so far. 

Renjun takes everything in with a breath. “Wow. I can see why you love this place.”

You feel a rush of emotions. How long has it been since you were able to come here and see the stars? 

You two set up the blankets and sit back, embracing the sight. 

He sits down on the blanket, and you automatically lie down next to him, placing your head in his lap. 

“Doesn’t this remind of you that one dream where we saw your city from above?”

Renjun grins. “I remember that. I still thought that you were just a fake simulation or whatever. And now look, we’re together in real life.”

You hum thoughtfully. 

“Thank you, Renjun.”

He looks down at you. “For what?”

Suddenly you can’t look him in the eye. “For everything. For being my friend and never leaving,” you gulp, nervous. 

“I... I love you.” 

Renjun jerks a little, eyes wide. “What did you just say?”

You breathe in, out. “I love you, huang renjun.”

He starts laughing for some reason, leaning down to kiss your forehead. 

“I love you too.”

After that, you enjoy the peaceful silence and the buzz of the insects. 

“...don’t you think this would be a hotspot for aliens to come to? This field is so vast and secluded -if I were an alien, I would come here a lot.”

You shrug. “I don’t know. But I guess I would too.”

Renjun suddenly looks at you with an accusing glare. And you catch on, smacking his side. 

“Don’t even think about it.”

He feigns ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Okay sure. You totally weren’t gonna say something about how I could be an extraterrestrial creature from another planet since I come here so often.” 

“Well-”

You stuff food in his mouth to shut him up. 

He chews for a minute or two before talking again. 

“.... what if we get abducted by them?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been here so many times, and nothing happened to me.”

“Maybe that’s because you are a-“

“Oh my gosh. Just stop. And trust me, if I were one, you would already be abducted with that face,” you joke.

You look up from your spot on his lap, staring up at the twinkling lights in the dark sky. 

“It doesn't matter, I’m not scared.”

Renjun looks down at you with a curious smile. “Why?” 

“Because everything got a little better when I saw you.” 

And the stars seem to agree, twinkling in the background when your lips reach up to meet his.

You had so many questions that couldn’t be answered. 

But maybe it would all be okay.  

Because you could suddenly see the spring again.

a/n: if you made it to the end, thank you for reading :) 

also i tried my best to research as much as i could on all related topics to this work yadaddaa but if there are errors and inaccuracies, i apologize! 

taglist: @elcie-chxn @dearseungie​ 

unable to tag: @flower-lise  

[crispin-kreme]

how to mend a broken heart ; kim sunoo

part 5/7 of the series

synopsis: every one is born with a heart that glows and it is visible amongst themselves. kim sunoo has the brightest heart and so do you. but a conflict arises between sunoo's life, making the heart lose its glow. gradually, sunoo has become numb to pain once his heart lost his glow. will you be able to ignite his heart again or lose him forever?

genre: angst, slight fluff, best friends to lovers au

pairings: student! kim sunoo x gn! reader

warnings: grammatical errors, car accident, and blood

notes: look who finally updated- im gonna finish this series in a bit because it just hit me that my classes are nearing (im starting on july 21 ew) so yea yall get the gist. sorry for not updating in a long time but anyways- enjoy! also thanks to @atsuwiee for helping out with the plot! <3

sunoo was probably born with the brightest heart amongst his classmates. he kept the brightest smile and he lets out the brightest laughter. being friends with him was easy. considering you both grew up in the same neighborhood and you both study in the same school.

he was a social butterfly and you were absolutely the quite opposite but you still managed to get yourself a small group of friends. your heart grew in an average level. you were happy and at times you were sad. unlike sunoo, you bet that his heart grows brighter than yours.

with sunoo’s bright outbursts of energy, you can’t help yourself fall in love with him. the way he smiles and his eyes quickly resembles a fox, the way he laughs at your lame jokes, and the way he talks gracefully about his day. oh you were a hopeless romantic over him. on the other hand, sunoo loved you from afar as well. he simply admires every thing about you. he loves you as well.

“y/n! how was your day?” sunoo says as he walks beside you “its okay.” you simply replied. both of you were exiting the school gates, school has finally ended for this day. both of you then just decided to take a quick stroll around town. “okay? what do you mean by ‘okay’?” he asks. “sunoo, i don’t have to explain that. its alright. my day went well.” you said with a soft smile placed onto your lips. sunoo smiled “good then!” he replied.

you looked at sunoo and asked “how about you? how was your day?” sunoo shrugged “boring as usual.” he rolls his eyes “why did the teacher even separate us into two different classes?! we were always in the same class, right? it’s so boring without you.” sunoo ranted and frowned “we literally live in the same neighborhood. you can come to my house anytime.” you pointed out. sunoo’s mouth became agape “...right.” he says.

sunoo quickly checked his phone and suddenly gasped “oh no- i was supposed to go to my groupmates’ house today!” he exclaimes. “eh- what for?” you asked “for a project. don’t worry, i think their house isn’t far from here.” sunoo explained. “okay- i’ll take a detour now. take care, y/n! call me when you get home.” he tells you before running away in a rush for a school work.

you sighed as you were left alone on the sidewalk. “gosh- i’m hungry...” you mumbled to yourself. the sun was almost down but that didn’t stop you from going to a convinience store and grabbing a snack as dark came.

as you arrived home, you threw yourself on your bed. it was about 7 in the evening already. you were still alone and your parents weren’t home yet so you decided to call sunoo since you arrived home.

he didn’t pick up. it was only a voicemail.

again and again and again. sunoo didn’t pick up.

you sighed as you faced your ceiling “maybe he’s tired...” you muttered under your breath. you did your night routine before you could even go to bed. you see your heart beating- still glowing so you didn’t really have a problem with anything.

all you didn’t know, as you fall asleep. sunoo is slowly being rushed to the hospital. with his blood stained face and an unbearable pain on his head, its no surprise that he might not even get through this night due to the accident.

the glow of sunoo’s heart started to dim.

hours into your sleep, someone calls you. you stirred in your sleep as you grabbed your phone under your pillow. you just assumed it was sunoo since he’s the only person who can call you at this ungodly hour. you picked up only to hear a woman crying over the phone. you immediately jolted up as you recognized the voice.

“mrs. kim?” you responded to sunoo’s mother. “y/n? i’m so sorry to call you this late.” his mother says apologetically “its alright.” you politely replied. “its alright. what’s wrong, mrs. kim?” you asked in curiousity and concern “well... its about sunoo.” his mother stated.

the news made you feel uneasy. you felt your world stop.

its been a week since the accident. sunoo wasn’t coming to school nor sunoo was contacting you. when you tried to visit sunoo, he forbid you to do so. his texts became shorter and blunt as well as his attitude. you checked the glow of your heart and it was still glowing at a normal rate. you wonder how sunoo’s heart is glowing right now.

sunoo’s heart completely lost its glow. sad to say, his condition made him numb to any pain. he wanted to be isolated. after that car accident, it was discovered that sunoo has turned deaf due to the severe head trauma he experienced during the accident. ever since he got discharged, he never showed up to school and contacts you at a seldom rate.

truly, he wanted to be isolated because of his condition. he feared that you will never love him back because he is now completely deaf. he could still talk but he still needs to learn some sign languages at the moment.

you didn’t hesitate to storm into his house (with the notice of his parents of course. you let them know that you were going to visit him). you made your way quickly into his house and in front of his bedroom. you knocked aggresively. you were a bit furious on why he didn’t want you to visit him thus, you being aggresive.

“open the door, fucker!” you raised your voice. sunoo was curled up in bed, not knowing you were there in front of his door. “i’m coming in you ‘lil shit.” you announced as you barged in his door. you saw sunoo curled up in bed, not noticing your presence. you closed the door and stood in front of him.

sunoo suddenly jolted up upon seeing your presence “y-y/n!” he stutters. sunoo needed to explain faster so that you could communicate with him. “before you talk. i have something to say.” he says. you sit down beside him on his bed. sunoo fixes his posture and looks at you straight in the eye.

“i- y/n, i-i’m deaf.” sunoo said. your eyes widened. “...so please. just type your response in the notes. i couldn’t hear you. i’m so sorry.” he explained, as he tries to regulate his voice. you were still in shock so you nodded and grabbed your phone. you typed in your response.

so this is why you’ve been avoiding me ever since the accident?

sunoo read your response and nodded in reply.

why? you thought that i would dislike you for it?

“yes...” he replied with his head low. “i-i really thought of that.” he added. still, you could see how sunoo was a bit blunt. but sunoo’s heart started to glow little by little, he could feel some warmth.

you listened to him carefully. sunoo’s tears started to form and fall down. “i- i love you, y/n! when i knew i lost my hearing, i feared that you’ll never feel the same way for me.” he explained. sunoo’s heart started glowing brightly again.

“its ridiculous to love someone who can’t hear, right?” he asked rhetorically as he wiped his tears. you couldn’t help but tear up too now that he confessed to you. you brought his face up to your sight and cupped his face.

sunoo reads your lips.

‘i love you too.’ is what you said and sooner later you had to type it in. but sunoo understood you.

“how-“ sunoo gets cut off as you kissed his lips. he wiped your tears “stop crying...” sunoo says as he tried to smile. “i love you so much.” he adds.

your heart glowed brightly like the sun so as sunoo’s. he feels your warmth again, he feels happy.

finally, even without hearing your voice, his broken heart is now mended.

would you like to proceed?

yes/go back

[yourmidnightlover]

lost my everything

Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.

TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING

WC- 3,152

a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3

masterlist

----------------------------------

one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.

that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.

you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.

"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"

"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.

you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.

"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.

"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.

"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.

"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.

"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.

honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.

last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.

"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.

"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.

"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.

spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.

in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'

you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.

"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.

"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.

"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.

"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"

truthfully, yes.

there was something he wanted to fill you in on.

he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.

he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...

and he kissed you back.

he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.

but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.

he just couldn't help it.

he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.

it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.

but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.

you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.

so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.

you kissed him.

and he kissed you.

in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.

"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."

"i guess that's good," you shrugged.

he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.

although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.

"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."

"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.

"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."

"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.

"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.

you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.

"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.

"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.

you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.

when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.

"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.

"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.

"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.

"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."

"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.

"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.

you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.

"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.

because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.

and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.

that was anything but true.

"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.

"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.

"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."

"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."

"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.

"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.

he didn't say anything.

he couldn't say anything.

he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.

because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.

he was infatuated with you.

but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.

"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.

he didn't feel the same.

"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.

"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.

silence.

"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.

you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.

spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.

he was overwhelmed with emotions.

you loved him?

he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.

and he was too late to say it back.

he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.

by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.

you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.

you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.

by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.

you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.

you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.

you didn't have your gun.

"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.

your wallet was back at the house.

"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.

"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.

the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.

and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.

"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .

"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.

"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.

spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.

you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.

he heard the gun go off.

he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.

he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.

"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.

he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.

"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.

"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.

"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.

"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.

"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."

"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.

"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.

sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.

"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.

there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.

he had lost his everything...

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

[btsmosphere]

Across the Tracks | KTH

~summary: Don’t cross the tracks. Never once did you question what you had been told your whole life – at least not until a certain boy makes that a bit more difficult...

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | drabble

~pairing: taehyung x reader (she/her) ~word count: 7.3k ~dystopian au, strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, inspired by lady and the tramp ~rating: pg15 ~warnings: adoption, dystopia, fictional slur, violence, arrest, police brutality, car accidents, near death, swearing

~a/n: the finale has arriiived!! I can’t thank you guys enough for the wonderful comments this series has got, it means so much to me! Please come chat with me about the last chapter🥰and enjoy.. xx

Light streamed into your eyes with the click of the van door opening, but that wasn’t what you flinched back from. It was futile to try and escape the controllers grasp though, and you were soon being tugged out and towards the front gate of a large, grey building.

On the short journey, you had managed to control your tears and your shaking, but your knees felt weak again as you stared up at the looming building.

Your eyes hadn’t even roamed its whole front when a beeping sounded, large black doors grating open before the entrance swallowed you whole.

Taehyung’s fingers trailed over the small metal barriers around every tree he passed. Who put fences around trees?

Huffing, he whirled around for the fifteenth time, ignoring the ache growing in his feet. Surely he should be near your area soon? The problem was, all the houses over here looked the same. Same neat lawns, same cute little window boxes, same front doors-

And a man leaving his front door. Someone he recognised.

“Hey!”

The guy started, alarm taking over his features as he saw the ragged boy barrelling towards him.

“Aren’t you-“ Seokjin spoke as Taehyung slowed in front of him, “what are you doing here? Stay away!”

“Listen-“ Tae panted, holding up his hands, “it’s about Y/N.”

Clattering shut behind you, the door remained steadfast in the face of your pleas.

“I have papers, I promise! I’m adopted by a Mr and Mrs-“

“Spare us the story, we’ll see what happens when we look up your name in the system,” the controller cut you off, not even looking your way as the key clanked in the lock.

“No-“ you clutched at the bars, “they gave me this – mother and father – when I got my papers. I’m not lying!”

Fishing your bracelet, the symbol of your adoption, from your pocket, you held it up-

Only for it to be snatched straight from your fingers. Yelping, you lunged for it back, but the controller held it out of reach.

“Might as well just admit to stealing this,” they smirked, “sentence is the same for strays either way.”

Words could barely form as you gaped, outraged.

“S-stealing?!” you spluttered, “but- that’s mine!”

“Sure it is.”

Losing the patience to hear you out, the controller was already walking away, your bracelet slipping into their pocket.

Jaw slack in disbelief, you stayed on the spot even as they left your line of sight. It wasn’t until the sting in your eyes became unbearable, vision fuzzing, that you clamped your mouth shut to bite down on your lip.

Slowly, you turned inwards to face the rest of the cell.

The other residents looked as shocked as you, staring back.

Hurriedly blinking, you were surprised to find you recognised some of them.

Voice cautious, Namjoon stepped towards you first.

“Y/N?”

“Namjoon?” you whispered, not trusting your voice at a higher volume, “what are you doing here?”

Looking around him, you found the mysterious Yoongi eyeing you. Beside him stood Jimin, with a boy you didn’t recognise.

“They caught onto us stealing the medical supplies,” Namjoon sighed heavily, wandering the few paces to the edge of the cell as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m so sorry…” you winced.

“It’s alright,” he shrugged, looking around, “looks like they had a field day today, half the city’s in here.”

“Our half of the city,” Yoongi spoke drily for the first time.

“But what can everyone have done so wrong?” you frowned. Turning around, even among only those cells that were visible from here, you could easily see they were as packed as yours.

“Exist.”

The small voice came from the boy you hadn’t met.

“This is Jungkook,” Jimin nodded to you, “he was… staying at the restaurant with me. They found out.”

At your puzzled look, he sighed.

“They don’t take too kindly to anyone not paying rent. Any strays,” Jimin scowled darkly.

Pressing your lips together, you were at a loss with what to say. Silence falling stiffly over the group of you again, Jimin sat back onto the small bench fixed to the wall. Following suit, you sunk with your back against the bars, lungs deflating.

“It’s alright,” Namjoon’s hand landed on your shoulder, sending a grimace your way, “we’ve all been in here at some point. Well, all except one,” he added with a chuckle.

“…who?” you enquired.

“Taehyung,” Yoongi chipped in.

“Oh.” You cast your eyes down.

“Wasn’t he with you?” Jimin frowned.

You grimaced.

“Yeah, he was… but I- I lost him.”

“Just like him,” Jimin chuckled. Despite his mirth, you were only confused. “I thought something might be different this time,” he carried on, “but I guess some never change.”

“What are you talking about?” you insisted.

“Well…” Yoongi slid down where he sat, scratching at his ear, “don’t take this the wrong way, but Tae often has girls around, if you catch my drift. I thought you’d know that.”

He looked genuinely curious, tilting his head in the face of your bafflement.

“No.” you spoke. “I had no idea.”

Seokjin had been staring at him wordlessly for a disconcertingly long time. Taehyung was about to open his mouth again when the other man exploded, arms flying as he yelled, making Tae jump back.

“You did WHAT? HOW- HOW DARE YOU?! YOU JUST LEFT HER-“

“I never meant to!”

“-you should have brought her STRAIGHT BACK HERE-“

“She can choose what she wants to do!”

“She should have stayed well away from you! I can’t believe y- I hope you’re happy now-“

“Of course I’m not!” Taehyung pleaded, “just – please – just get her family to call the station and get her out of there.”

Seokjin’s ears were practically glowing red, nostrils flaring as he breathed heavily.

“I will,” he snapped, “but you had better stay away from now on, okay? You’re nothing but trouble.”

Taehyung chewed at the inside of his cheek, heart sinking. Eventually he lowered his head, nodding.

“I will.”

“Are you really licensed, though?” Jungkook asked, steering the conversation back to safer territory after the earlier revelation.

You nodded mutely.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, then,” Namjoon assured you, “they’ll see it on the system and have your family pick you up.”

“What about you?” you looked up then, at all of them.

Exchanging glances with the others, Jimin was the one to reply.

“We’ll figure out something. Maybe if Taehyung wants to show his face sometime, we’ll get out-“

Cutting himself off mid-giggle, he seemed to realise the risky topic he had just breached again. Nonetheless, it peaked your interest.

“Why would Taehyung help?”

“He knows every trick in the book,” Yoongi scoffed, “always manages to get away. Saved us from a lot of trouble, too.”

Simply nodding, you returned your gaze to the floor again when a sharp blow knocked you forwards.

Righting yourself hastily, you found the controller from earlier unlocking the door and throwing it open.

“Miss L/N, we found your file, follow me.”

Startled, it took you a moment before you kicked your body into action, stiffly standing with one more look back at the others. As the bars closed, this time separating you from them, you could only offer them a grimace and a small wave as you were led away.

But soon enough, you were occupied with different concerns.

At the end of the corridor, Sarah was waiting for you. Glaring at you from the moment you came into view, her severe expression twisted your stomach with dread. You forced yourself to keep walking, despite your legs protesting as if you were wading through treacle to meet your fate.

Piercing eyes trained on you to the last moment, she finally turned on her heel, nodding briefly to the controller before walking away. Hurrying to follow, your heart jittered at her silence. You knew you were still in trouble.

Huge globs of water spattered harshly against the windows of the summer house. This small building in your garden wasn’t built for the cold, and if you thought you had had it bad in the back room, it was ten times worse locked up in here.

All you could do was huddle away from the rattling windows and bunch the thin blanket around your shoulders as a meagre shield against the wind. Rubbing your fingers together despite the fact feeling was rapidly draining from them, you stared out into the darkness between you and your house.

The lights streaming from the windows looked so warm, you could almost imagine some phantom of heat wrapping itself around you.

But in the jumble of other thoughts in your head, you couldn’t focus and it would soon fade.

Jostling the blanket around you once again, you were alerted to a movement at the side of your house. Sitting straighter, you squinted into the night as two shapes grew closer.

A breath left you as you recognised them.

Rushing forwards and letting the blanket flutter onto your makeshift bed, you dropped to your knees in front of a window. The door was locked, but the windows would crack open a few inches. Following your lead, Jin and Hoseok sat down cross-legged on the porch, pushing down the hoods of the coats they were wearing.

You knew Sarah had left the key hanging from the doorknob, but it would be best to leave it locked so as not to risk any more punishments.

Through the raindrops clinging to the glass, you could see the cautious looks on their faces, sympathetic smiles as they tried to look reassuring.

“Y/N, aren’t you cold in there?” Hoseok frowned.

“It’s not too bad,” you lied, “thanks for coming to see me.”

At the sight of your friends, an unexpected lump was welling up in your throat and you surreptitiously swiped at your eyes.

“Y/N, we’re so sorry about what happened,” Jin was saying, “but it wasn’t your fault. They shouldn’t be keeping you out here.”

“When mother and father come back, it should be okay,” you sighed. Folding your arms against the windowsill, you rested your cheek on them.

“Well, if you want to come and stay with one of us, I’m sure you’d be very welcome,” Jin assured, “even if it’s just until then. You know how my parents are fond of you.”

Hoseok nodded vigorously.

“Thank you,” you said earnestly, “I’ll have to think about it. Just- so much happened, and I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore.”

“That’s understandable,” Jin smiled, looking like he didn’t understand at all.

“At least you have a story to tell!” Hoseok changed tack, and you couldn’t stop yourself smiling, dry laugh falling from your lips.

“Yeah, I got thrown in jail, I’m sure everyone would be thrilled to hear that,” you scoffed.

“It isn’t your fault,” Jin insisted, “I knew Taehyung was bad news…“

You stayed silent, biting your lip. Though you knew you shouldn’t, you almost wanted to defend him. He had changed your entire view of where you were, opened your eyes on the short adventure.

The conversation swiftly moved on, your friends dancing around your ordeal, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be annoyed by it. Talking to them brought some comfort, some familiarity that you needed right now.

Eventually, the night had worn colder and you insisted that they get home, especially considering Hoseok was practically falling asleep on Jin’s shoulder.

Giving a small wave as best you could through the minute gap in the window, you watched them stand up and leave, huddling under their coats again to step out into the rain. But barely three paces away, they stopped again.

With a frown, you sat up, trying to make out what was going on from their illuminated silhouettes. It was then that you could make out the shape of another person.

Even obscured as he was by your friends standing between you, it was clearly Taehyung. Your chest felt tight, not knowing what to feel on seeing him again. There was an undercurrent as you looked at him, some bitterness knowing what you did now.

But you wanted to see him again.

“Taehyung?” you called.

The three men all spun to look at you. With a glance between them, Hoseok and Jin started warily forwards to within earshot again. Hanging back, Taehyung waited with his hands folded, fingers fidgeting as he looked between each of you.

Hoseok fixed him with a glare while Jin walked right up to you, crouching so he could speak through the window, voice low enough that the others couldn’t hear.

“If you don’t want him here, Y/N, we can easily get rid of him.”

“No,” you shook your head firmly, “I want to talk to him. Thank you, though.”

Despite his uneasy look, he nodded slowly. Sharply inhaling, he turned back to Taehyung. Without a word, he led Hoseok away, although the two of them sent glares enough for Tae to turn his eyes down to his feet, bobbing his head to them.

When they reached the corner of your house, Tae deemed them far enough away to approach you.

Steeling yourself with a breath, you stayed in place as he pushed his hair out of his face. It was soaking wet, plastering itself to his forehead and sticking up in various directions after he slicked it back. His skin glistened with rain too, and he shook his head lightly to rid himself of some.

“Hey pidge…” he panted, finally sitting down opposite you.

“Hey,” you choked out.

“Listen,” he leaned his elbows on his knees, hands spread open, imploring you, “I’m really sorry for what happened. I thought you were right behind me, and when I saw that you weren’t… well…”

“Thank you for helping me before,” you kept your voice level, “and trying to get me back home, but-but being taken by the controllers-“

“But you’re back now!” his grin showed itself again, “they would never hurt a cute thing like you.”

“A ‘cute thing’ like me?!” you exclaimed, “Tae, I was so frightened! A-and what does it matter, when your friends are still in that awful place? Or do you not care as long as it’s not you in there?”

“Pidge, listen, they’ll be alright, it’s you I was worried about. I swear I never meant to lose you.”

“Like I said before,” you sniffed, “I appreciate you helping me. But if that’s all-“

“Pidge!”

You stared back at his desperate eyes through the flecks of rain on the glass. The ache in your heart wouldn’t let you break away from his wide, pleading eyes.

“Pidge, please,” he begged, shuffling closer, “don’t be like this. Don’t shut me out-“

“And why not?” you swallowed against your voice as it threatened to spill over in tears, “did any of it even mean anything to you?”

“What do you mean, pidge, of course I-“

“Your friends told me all about you. They said I was just another girl to chuck away-“

“No,” his palms pressed together, beseeching, “I’ve been with people before, that doesn’t make you any less special.”

When he broke off, you found no words to speak. Your mind was wrapping around itself as he let out a rough breath, raking a hand through his saturated hair.

When he fixed his eyes on you again, he held them intently.

“I know we’re from two different worlds, but… I didn’t want to let you go. I still don’t. You’re the first person I’ve wanted to chase so bad, and I just- I can’t accept letting you go so easily. I know things can be different, and I want them to be, pidge. I want to make it happen, and I want to make it happen with you.”

As his words washed over you, tears burned unbidden in your eyes. You could barely breathe as he spilled his heart out for you.

Letting his words hang between you once he stopped, he watched you for a reaction.

And you realised as you looked back that his eyes were filled for the first time with fear.

“Okay…” you breathed, cursing yourself at the first word to escape your mouth. Taehyung was still hanging on your every word, and he didn’t look too encouraged by that opener. You tried again. “I… want you too, Taehyung. But I don’t know how we can be together.”

You shared a sigh.

“That’s all I needed to hear, pidge.”

“But right now, I need some time,” you continued, ignoring the way your heart squeezed as his face fell, “and I think you should go.”

He gulped, but nodded, accepting his fate with downturned eyes.

“O-okay. I’ll… see you, then.”

As he stood up silently, you clamped your lower lip hard between your teeth. He walked slowly, but didn’t look back. As carefully as you could, you pulled the window shut, fingers now almost fully numb.

You couldn’t even lift yourself from the floor so you pushed yourself back and away from the window, watching him go with a growing weight in your chest.

He rounded the corner, out of sight, but you stayed where you were. Blankly staring across the garden, the dark stayed still for a short while, besides the rain still streaking through the air. At some point, Sarah’s children must have gone to sleep because the only light coming from the house was now from her bedroom.

A shape darted across the single ray of light.

Blinking, you shifted slightly, some stupid hope rousing within you that it was Taehyung. He hadn’t left very long ago – maybe he had come back?

But as you located the new person, to your alarm you found it wasn’t anyone you knew. In fact, they seemed to be utterly unaware of your presence as they jogged around the edge of the house, looking up at it, all the while clutching at a backpack slung over their shoulder.

Taken aback, you didn’t move for too long, simply watching as the person doubled back around the corner. Their hand was covering something tucked into a pocket.

It was when they stopped, both hands gripping the pipe that ran down the wall, that you finally found your feet.

Eyes widening, you crossed to the door of the summer house, bashing your palm against the window as the figure began to climb.

“Hey!” you yelled, but they only moved faster, looking around in alarm.

Not ceasing in your shouting, you hammered on the door intermittently with rattling the doorknob. Of course it didn’t give way, sending you further into panic, throwing your whole weight against the door when you saw the thief climb higher.

They had made it to the upstairs window. Your brother’s room.

Yelling with all your might now, you frantically bashed at the door. They were getting in! The window wasn’t locked, and the thief had no trouble lifting it open.

Just as they swung their first leg over the sill, footsteps thundered closer. In an instant, Taehyung stood in front of you, breathless.

“What’s going on?”

“A thief, a thief!” you shouted through the glass, pointing urgently at the window.

Spinning, Taehyung immediately found the threat.

“Shit- what do we- how do I-“

“The key!” you exclaimed, quickly hurrying on at his confused expression, “the key, it’s just there-“

While you struggled to point to the doorknob, Taehyung thankfully understood and quickly dived for it, shoving it into the lock. The moment it clicked open, you dashed out, not slowing once as you sprinted to your house.

The thief was now inside, and you wasted no time throwing the back door open, taking the stairs three at a time with Tae hot on your tail. Over the hammering of your feet down the hall, you could hear a crashing from your brother’s room.

Without a second of hesitation, you were inside, luckily finding the thief throwing drawers across the floor in their hunt for whatever they wanted – nowhere near your brother.

Even so, you launched yourself at them, seeing their eyes widen as you crashed against them bodily, shoving them further from your brother. All the noise had woken him, and his screaming joined the ruckus at the same moment Tae joined your fight.

Catching the thief from behind, Tae pulled them backwards in a headlock, grunting as they struggled, face scrunched up.

Meanwhile, you were frantically trying to grab them, to stop their arm that was clawing at Tae.

But you had left yourself vulnerable. Before you could blink, the sole of a shoe booted firmly into your stomach, sending you backwards, lungs suddenly parched of air. Free of you now that you were gasping some distance away on the floor, your opponent dropped their weight, escaping Tae’s grip.

Grappling to tackle them again, Tae was too late to stop the thief turning around. But it wasn’t just fists he had to deal with now. Struggling up from the floor, trying to heave air into your lungs, you caught sight of a silver glint as the thief pulled it from their pocket.

“Tae!” you tried to yell, but could only manage a wheeze.

Instead, you settled for dashing towards them again, but you were too late. The knife escaped your grasp and Tae cried out in pain, the two tumbling to the floor, catching the curtain at the same time, fabric cascading over them as the rail crashed down.

Not giving up, you pulled at the attacker before they could raise the knife a second time, succeeding in dragging them backwards. But they used your momentum, throwing you off them and into the dresser, sending you sprawling with it onto the carpet.

You had no time to extricate yourself before your opponent was back at the window, only just evading a dive from Taehyung as they abandoned ship and fled.

Tripping over the dresser in your haste, you started towards Taehyung. You couldn’t help but notice the hand pressed to his thigh.

Only you never made it another step.

The crack of a gunshot cut through the air.

Instantly crouching, hands thrown over your head, you didn’t initially spot who had fired. The first place your eyes travelled was to Tae, also ducked down, but otherwise unharmed.

Whirling towards the door, your heart dropped through the floor at the sight that met you. Sarah stood in the doorway, illuminated from behind. And in her hand, the gun.

Open mouthed, you stepped forward as she crossed towards the crib, your brother’s wails having doubled in volume since she had fired.

“Get away from him!” you begged.

But her gun was trained on you, and all you could do was send panicked stares between Tae and your baby brother.

“Who are you?” Sarah’s voice was high, wavering wildly as she turned the gun to Tae.

“No!” you rushed forwards, only to be stopped again as the barrel locked onto you once more.

Eyes wide and nostrils flaring, Sarah looked between the two of you, frozen in the wreckage of the room.

“Don’t you know how dangerous these people are?” she hissed, spit flying from her quivering lips.

“No, Sarah- you don’t understand-“ you held your hands up, pleading.

She was having none of it. Marching forwards, you let out a whimper as the barrel pressed briefly against you before she had you in her grasp. Wrestling you back by your shoulder, the pistol’s aim returned to Tae as the distance between you grew.

“Get over there. Hands up,” Sarah spoke, voice calmer now she had Tae at the other end of a gun. Gesturing with it, she pointed Tae in the direction of the wardrobe set into the wall.

Locking eyes with you where you were held in a vice beside Sarah, he silently obeyed.

Sidling through the door without a word, he disappeared from view, making your heart constrict in your chest. With sudden and alarming ferocity, Sarah barged forwards, slamming the door on him. Grabbing the nearest piece of felled furniture, she shoved it roughly against the door.

“Don’t you dare move, boy,” she hissed, “you’ll never see the outside of jail after this.”

But as you opened your mouth to protest, her grip was back on you, yanking you backwards, heels clunking down the stairs as you scrabbled for purchase. With brutal speed, she had reached the rarely used cellar door, managing to rip it open.

And just like that, your back was hitting the dusty floor, another slam ricocheting through the space, lock clicking before you could make it to your feet to pound against the door.

Sarah’s footsteps had long gone. Instead, the muffled sound of her speaking leaked through the door.

She was going to hand Taehyung to the controllers.

Letting your fists fall limply at your sides, your forehead fell against the door as you caught your breath. Sarah wasn’t going to pay any attention to you, no matter how much noise you could make. You had to come up with something else.

Turning your back on the incomprehensible babbling of Sarah on the phone and the screaming of your brother upstairs, you faced the towers of junk in the cellar. You had never been in here much, but you were fairly sure…

Skirting around stacks of things in the dark, inevitably sending some scattering across the floor, you hurried to get to the opposite wall.

Finally it seemed you had found it. Squeezed between teetering boxes with coats slung over the top, your fingers found a wooden surface above your head. Pushing up, it gave way until the clack of a lock stopped you, only a tiny crack of light falling over your face.

But the doors were clearly old and you persevered, jumping up and down to jostle them. They were certainly opening more than before, but you could now make out a chain linking the two trapdoors. It jangled as you shoved at your only exit, until another sound grew, filling the night and drowning out your own struggle.

A siren.

The faint crunch of tyres on the road accompanied what you recognised as the controllers’ vehicle through sound alone, confirmed by flashes of orange light that briefly illuminated the other side of the doors. You were already panting from exertion as it pulled up at the front of your house.

But you didn’t let up.

The sirens shut off.  Soon enough you had kicked over the stack of boxes, tentatively stepping up onto the lower two to continue your struggle.

But it wasn’t necessary.

Your heart leapt in your chest when you heard two familiar voices nearby.

“What if it’s dangerous?”

“Then Y/N will be in danger too!”

“Wait. What’s that noise?”

“Jin!” you called out through the gap, “Hoseok! Over here!”

A moment later two pairs of feet were slapping against the ground, drawing nearer until they fell in the thin gap you could see through the doors. Soon, Jin’s face filled the central space, squinting into the darkness.

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

“Quick, help me get out of here,” you urged, leaving his question unanswered.

Not seeming to mind, the two boys’ fingers were quickly hooked over the edges of the doors. Jin unwound the chain that had been stopping you and the trapdoors fell open at last. Each taking an arm, your friends hoisted you out of the cellar. Now they didn’t want to wait any longer for explanation.

“One of my dads saw a burglar jumping from your window,” Hobi was talking immediately, “we came straight to check, but we saw the controllers are here. Did something happen?”

“A burglar broke in, yes,” you were tripping over your words, “but Tae let me out of the shed and helped me, we tried to get rid of them, only, they ran away but then Sarah came in and now she’s calling the controllers for him. And he hasn’t done anything! We need to stop them!”

And with that, you set off for the front of the house.

A bewildered look shot between your friends behind you, before they took off on your tail.

“Y/N!” Jin called, “what are you doing? Are you crazy?”

Catching your hand, he stopped you just behind the corner of your house.

“What?” you tried to pull away.

“What’s got into you!” he gestured wildly, “those are the controllers. We stay away from them.”

“But Tae-“

“Y/N, you need to think about this. You’re putting yourself in danger too.”

Next to Jin’s intense stare, Hoseok looked a little more hesitant, gnawing at his lip.

“Y/N…” he spoke quietly, “does he really mean that much to you? After everything that happened?”

You sighed. Maybe you couldn’t quite explain it, but you had to be honest.

“Yes. Yes, he does. And I’m going after him, whether you two come or not.”

Eyes softening, Hoseok nodded. Both of you looked back to Jin, though you couldn’t help your eyes slipping to the side, impatient to help Tae.

Just as the thought ran through your mind, the slam of the front door.

Jin’s hand dropped away from yours, and you shot a panicked look back at him. His lips were pursed, watching the scene warily, but as Tae came into view, stumbling down the front steps with the force the controllers pushed him, hands fastened behind his back, the reality seemed to strike.

You couldn’t wait to check if Jin was following, stepping hurriedly from behind the wall and rushing towards Taehyung. Two sets of footsteps followed behind you.

The sound bringing his attention, you saw Taehyung’s eyes widen as he caught sight of you, but your gaze was broken as a broad-shouldered controller stepped between the two of you. A shout of your name came from the front doorway, where Sarah stood, but you didn’t even acknowledge her.

“Please, you have to let him go!” you pleaded with the indifferent controller.

“Let’s get him moving,” they growled over their shoulder to their colleagues. The lights of the controllers’ vans were practically unheard of in a neighbourhood such as this, and people were beginning to take notice. Curtains were pulled aside, some stepping from their front doors.

“You can’t!” you cried, the gathering crowd doing nothing to deter you, “he hasn’t done anything!”

“Alright miss,” the looming controller held his hands out, “calm down. We’ve been after this one for months.”

“But-“

“Pidge-“ a low warning from Tae was soon cut off as the officer restraining him shoved him forward, knees hitting against the stone path.

“Tae!”

Outraged, you dived for him, not paying any mind to the controllers until large arms were muscling against you, forcing you roughly away as Tae was dragged from the floor. You were flung back unceremoniously, and would have hit the ground too if you didn’t collide with another chest.

Jin’s arms steadied you.

“Don’t touch her,” his firm voice was loud in your ear as he glared up at the controller.

“Why you…”

Turning on him instead, the controller only got those words out before a new voice was cutting through the commotion.

“What’s going on here?”

Whirling around, you found Jin’s mother storming through the still growing crowd, hurrying up the path, his father not far behind. In shock, her wide eyes moved between her son and the controller berating him.

But as she bustled towards you, Tae was being wrestled further away, a brutal hand forcing his head down and into the waiting car.

“Tae!” you yelled again, ignoring Jin’s parents as you raced towards the gate, ducking under the controller that lunged at you.

But though your feet strove forwards, the engine rumbled, tyres setting into motion. The lights whirred further away, and you couldn’t make it as Tae was ripped away from you…

“Stop!” you were shouting. They had taken him right in front of you! You were so close, eyes fixed on the car, filtering out the shocked spectators who drew away from you, “come back! Please! Tae! No…”

Behind you, Jin’s mother was giving an earful to the controller, his father steadfast beside her as Jin stumbled to meet you.

“Y/N,” his hand landed on your shoulder, light and ready to spring away at any moment, “Y/N, I’m so sorry-“

An ear-splitting screech cut through the cacophony. Eerie silence smothered the scene as a toe-curling crunching filled the air, every eye travelling to the car spiralling across the middle of the road, lights washing like crashing waves over pristine lawns until it ground to a stop.

Gaping, heart in your mouth as you saw the scene unfold, you were the first to recover enough to move. Without your command, your legs were carrying you towards Taehyung. His head emerged in the car window, looking about in alarm. He must have ducked down when they swerved.

Mumbling conversation rushed to your ears again, sparking to life between the onlookers as you finally reached the car, throwing the door open.

“Tae!” you gasped, voice ragged as you pulled him out. Though he looked a little dazed, a soft smile curved his lips as you threw your arms around him. Unable to embrace you in return, he pressed his face into your hair.

“Jin’s explained everything, dear, don’t worry now,” the familiar voice of Jin’s mother approached behind you, “we’ll sort everything out, just-“

“No!”

Silence shot like electricity from the cry. It was Jin, but-

It hadn’t sounded like Jin.

His voice grated with the ferocity of the yell, and you whipped instantly away from Tae, locating your friend.

Only he wasn’t looking at you.

Dread seizing at your being, you dragged your gaze to follow his, looking down the road.

Your throat closed, choking any breath you had been taking.

This time, you found you couldn’t move. Jin’s feet were pounding away on the asphalt, the crowd’s silence not lifting as everyone stared on in horror. Your feet, on the other hand, wouldn’t – couldn’t – move.

Vision funnelling dizzyingly, you watched the stationary figure sprawled on the tarmac.

Your stomach churned, everything lurching sickeningly as you finally persuaded your leaden legs to move, utterly numb as you drew closer, denial running rampant in your mind.

Hoseok lay on the ground, unmoving. There was blood.

That was where the car had swerved. The car. Swerved. Hit him. It must have hit him; look at the way his shirt had torn, pushed along the ground. The way his normally lively eyes were shut in an unusually pale face, arm splayed out at an awkward angle.

“Hoseok…” you tried to say, but not even a whisper made it beyond your lips.

Jin was crouching beside him, saying his name over and over and over… his hand clutching at his friend, pressing at his face, his wrist. Commotion had returned at some point to the street around you, but you could barely hear it, locked in place.

The world shifted around you, people moving, noises and shouts and more sirens and hands on your shoulders until your feet moved, but you could only stare at your friend.

He had done this for you. For you and Tae.

Was he even breathing?

You hadn’t even noticed the brimming in your eyes, hardly blinking when it finally cascaded down your cheeks.

Jin’s mother hadn’t let you go back into the same house as Sarah. She had taken you in with her own son, and Tae alongside. You stayed clutching his hand, readily accepting his warm arms.

Despite the uneasy looks from bystanders, and Jin’s parents themselves, he had stayed by your side, unusually demure as he thanked the Kims for their generosity.

They let you two keep to yourselves. You could hear through the quiet house though, as you curled into Tae’s chest, the two of you trying to take up as little space on Jin’s bed as you could.

“I can’t believe it! That boy got unlucky with those controllers,” you could tell she was shaking her head.

His mother said this a lot. That they were ‘unlucky’. That the controllers were there to protect them, that their behaviour the night before was out of the ordinary, that you mustn’t worry.

“Maybe they didn’t want to listen to him because he was… well, because of where he’s from,” Seokjin’s reply was cautious, much more muffled than his mother’s assurances, “they didn’t want to listen to me either.”

“Don’t think like that,” his father chided, “it’s understandable given what most of the people there are like. They just made a mistake this once.”

A costly mistake, if it was one.

You closed your eyes.

Trailing back into the room, Jin squeezed onto the other side of the bed, sighing heavily.

None of you slept.

The curtains in Hoseok’s house were closed. Since everything had happened a few days ago, you had only caught a glimpse of his teary-eyed fathers, coming home from the hospital.

They hadn’t spoken to you.

You squeezed Taehyung’s hand tighter as you walked past their home.

Mother and father were coming home today. It had been less than a week, but everything had completely changed since you saw them last.

Not wanting to return until Sarah had gone, you waited with Tae by your garden wall. The place you had been sitting when Taehyung first burst into your life.

While you waited, Tae was… quiet. Noticing the pallor of his downcast face, you ducked your head to catch his eye.

“Tae…” you whispered, “Tae, it’s going to be alright.”

“Sorry,” he murmured, then let out a sigh, “I’m… I’m worried- that- what if- they’re not gonna like me!”

“They will!” you hushed him, smoothing your hands down his cheeks, his hair, “and if they don’t, it doesn’t matter to me. We’ve been through a little too much to let go so easily, don’t you think?”

Turning his honey-eyed gaze back to you, a smile quirked the corner of Tae’s mouth, much to your relief.

“You sure, cub? I know I’m not exactly a fairytale prince-“

“Oh, shush!” you laughed, “I couldn’t wish for anyone else.”

Tightening his grip on your hands, he pulled you against him in lieu of a reply. A kiss landed gently on your crown.

Just then, you became aware of voices floating from the garden.

Twirling from Taehyung’s embrace, though you kept a hold of his hand, you steeled yourself. They were back.

Making your way, with Taehyung in tow, towards the front, you ignored the neighbours peering not-so-subtly out of windows at you and your returning family. As your parents stepped through the gate, they noticed you, but the smiles on their faces dimmed when they found Taehyung beside you.

Their frowns only increased as they noticed the way you ignored Sarah, who stood at the door with her two children, already packed. The moment she spotted your parents, she was ushering the children down the steps without a second glance, making her farewells very brief as she hastened to leave.

“Y/N, dear?” your mother tentatively asked as you moved forward to greet them, “what-?”

“I’d like you to meet Kim Taehyung,” you smiled. Hopefully it came across as a smile, not a grimace. “there’s a lot I have to tell you.”

The grass under you was soft, rejuvenated by the sunlight smiling through the smattering of clouds. Your usual park was empty of any others, save for the four of you.

Yes, four.

Between blades of grass and budding buttercups, Taehyung’s fingers danced across your own where he reclined, eyes creased in hopeless mirth at one of Jin’s jokes. Jin was squeaking at his own joke, definitely getting grass stains on his shirt as he fell back, rolling on the ground.

And opposite you, loud, joyous laugh finally filling the space, was Hoseok. Beside the bench he leaned against, a couple of crutches were stacked, but the cast on his ankle was the only reminder left of the awful price he nearly paid that night.

He wouldn’t be able to have full mobility again for a few more weeks, though, which is why you were still here. This park, the backdrop to so much of your upbringing, was no longer where you belonged.

Knowing its emptiness only owed to it being a school day, that the true children of this side of the tracks would always be above you, tinged it with some bitterness.

This place would always be part of your life, but it was somewhere you wanted to move on from. And after learning from you, protesting against their parents, who, it turned out, all held the same beliefs deep down, Jin and Hoseok also felt the need to make their own way. To seize the life they had never been offered.

The way the neighbours looked at you now had certainly helped persuade your parents that it was time for you to fly the nest. For weeks, your scandal had been the only thing on the lips of the gossip in your neighbourhood.

Of course, you would always come back to visit, and to watch your brother grow, but you were ready for your own life.

With Taehyung at your side, of course.

When Hoseok could walk, you travelled to the tracks together, certainly closer than Jin and Hoseok had been before. There weren’t parks here, so you waited on a dusty corner.

“So the days of living free are behind you, then?”

Turning, you found a grinning Yoongi. Pulling Taehyung into a hug, he patted him on the back.

“I’m still living free,” Tae winked at him, “free to be where I want, with who I want.”

He pulled you into his side as a startled laugh escaped you.

“So cheesy,” Jimin grumbled next, embracing you both all the same.

Namjoon and Jungkook were also introduced. Taehyung so wanted your friends to get along with his, and you were overjoyed to see him grinning the whole time. Just as you suspected, they all fit right in together.

“You’ll come and visit us, right?” you made them promise as you left.

“We’ll join you as soon as we can,” Namjoon assured with a smile.

You weren’t sure if you should feel sad.

Turning your back on the car that pulled away after a brief final wave, you found nothing holding you back. Light as a feather, you raced up the steps, breathless by the time Taehyung reached you. A few strands of his midnight hair fell into his eyes as he laughed at you, that stunning grin lighting up his whole face.

But you were the same, unable to smile any wider.

“Here we go then, pidge,” he spoke, sweeping forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

Grasping your hand, the two of you stepped further onto the platform side by side. Every glance at your wonderful boyfriend showed his exhilarated grin never let up.

The train rolled in, hissing to a stop. For most of the people bustling along the station, it was as ordinary as anything, but you were practically bouncing, eagerly awaiting as the doors groaned open.

No sooner had you stored your small case overhead, Taehyung was tugging your hand. Falling onto his lap, neither of you wasted a moment finding each other’s lips, all smiles and hands on your cheeks and in his hair as the carriage heaved into life.

The tracks whizzed by below you, taking you to a city where they wouldn’t divide you.

Thank you so much for reading!💜let me know if you enjoyed it!

This series is done, but if you like my writing I have a permanent taglist too! Contact me to be added😊

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[theinfinitybucky]

Undercovers (Bucky Barnes x Reader) - Part Five

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are on an undercover mission as husband and wife, but she hates him and by accident begins a game of “Who Can Fake Better”.

Warnings: very brief nudity, cannon typical violence, minors not allowed to interact!!!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

You woke up the next morning hating yourself for every bit of what you had let Bucky do the night before. The regret panging through your chest was nearly unbearable. You sighed and pulled the white shirt off the floor to slip on over your bare chest. With feet hitting the cold marble floor of the hotel room, you walked to the bathroom.

Bucky was still passed out in the bed, taking in deep breaths as he slept. The man looked remarkedly peaceful for what you had done the night before. Right now, he was winning the game. What he had willfully manipulated you into doing was unspeakable. Even worse, what would the team say when they found out about what happened during this mission.

This was all Steve’s fault. He had forced you into this “situation” and not stopped it when another twist came. It had to be this with the target or his men watching the hotel room. That didn’t make this any easier. It was difficult to admit that you might actually enjoy Bucky’s presence. His rare smile. The way he kissed you like nothing else was left in the world but your lips.

Would it really be that bad if you liked him?

You brushed off the tough thought and began to brush your teeth. You met your own gaze in the mirror and shuddered with self-hatred. He hadn’t forced you into it. By the time the two of you were back in the hotel room, it felt right. The lingering regret was all about how you could go back to hating him.

“You okay, Sarah?” Bucky stood in the doorway, fully clothed unlike the last night.

You looked back at him and nodded. A wordless response. He could tell by the regret in your eyes and determined that it would be best to not push the boundaries that were being set. After getting ready for the morning in silence, both of you were discreetly slipping your gun into the blazer pocket when another text rang from Steve. A reminder to not forget about the meeting where you would be seeing the target today.

You would be going into separate meetings for the first two sessions then rejoining each other for lunch at the same table as the previous night. This was an unexpected moment to breathe after last night. The plan originally had you together in the sessions, yet this made more sense after the change in your job description.

           After the two slow sessions, you met for lunch. Taking a seat at the table where you had sat last night, Marcus was already sitting when you arrived. It took to seconds to recognize who was with him, Eric Miller. This was concerning at best. A total nightmare at worst. Bucky, where are you?

           Almost as if you had called him, he appeared behind you. You hated how he could appear out of nowhere without a sound being made. You glanced up to him from the chair you were seated in. You glanced to Eric Miller which received a tiny nod from Bucky. This was where things began to get dirty. Would you risk taking Eric and Marcus down in a room full of people or wait until the meeting time later. Or had they already exchanged the codes and doom was only impending.

           The lunch dragged on forever with white lies being told back and forth between you and Marcus. No intel was gained after the hour-long lunch. It was almost as if they were playing with you and Bucky. An uneasiness continued to settle into your chest. Something was off here. It was only an hour before the codes were “supposedly” being exchanged in the hotel parking lot.

           When 1:00 pm came, Marcus and Eric both excused themselves as if they were on a timer. You waited for them to be out of earshot. They both exited through the tall conference room doors.  Things were about to get messy.

           “I think I left something in the car, Chris.” You took Bucky’s hand and murmured. His eyes locked with your own. He inferred exactly what you were saying. Truly, you had been dropped off and there was no car in the parking lot. This was only a ploy to get you out of the next session and into the parking lot where the codes were being exchanged.

           “I’ll come with you.”

           You both got up out of your respective chairs and headed towards the parking lot. You were too far behind Marcus and Eric. You broke into a running pace with Bucky right on your heels. This could be too late already. You drew your gun and headed out the door. The hotel security guards were right behind you. Great… only making this more difficult.

           Bucky ignored the presences as they called to the both of you.

           Marcus and Eric stood by a black SUV. Marcus was taking a suitcase from Eric when you approached them. Marcus took the suitcase and Eric drew a gun quickly. Your blood ran cold. He didn’t even waste a second and fired a shot at you. Bucky jumped in front of you and blocked the bullet with his vibranium arm. It ricocheted off and hit the SUV with a metallic ping.

           You didn’t take a chance and shot Eric in the knee without a second thought. Marcus dropped the suitcase and raised a gun in one swift movement. Bucky fired towards Marcus, but missed by about two inches when he dodged it. You ducked behind a random white sedan as another shot came towards you. The security guards began encroaching in with their own guns drawn. Breathing heavily, Bucky yelled to the security guards to back off and listed off credentials.

           As he was distracted, you noticed Eric moving. His gun was too close to him from when he had fallen. You stepped toward him to disarm the man. You weren’t fast enough to get there before he would shoot you. The next moment shocked you. He didn’t aim for you. He aimed for Bucky who was not ready for a bullet. As if in slow motion, the gun fired. You screamed and jumped to take it. You were expecting it. He wasn’t. You could make it miss vital organs. You moved in front of Bucky and it hit your shoulder. The bullet lodged underneath your clavicle. You yelled in pain and fell to the ground. Everything went red for a few seconds… Then black. 

_______

           “What the hell happened?” Sam asked as he entered the waiting room where Bucky with his head in his hands. His face was red as if he’d been crying. His clothes were tattered. Dust and ripped holes scattered the fabric from his altercation with Eric and Marcus after Y/N got shot. Y/N had been in surgery for thirty minutes where they were pulling the bullet out of Y/N’s chest.

           Sam tried to push his anger down with in him.

           “You were supposed to protect her!” Sam grunted.

           “The hotel security got involved.” Bucky tried to explain. “They-.”

           “She still has a bullet in her!”

           Bucky went still. He knew that this was all his fault. Y/N had jumped in front of a bullet to save him. He’d noticed it the moment the guards tried to disarm him. The bullet hit Y/N’s chest and he was left to take down four people. He went into semi-Winter Soldier mode when you were shot. It brought out a rage in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. This was all supposed to be a game. It wasn’t a game anymore.

           Your eyes opened slowly. You looked to your left and saw Bucky asleep in a chair next to you. A sharp pain radiated through your shoulder where the bullet had ripped through your skin. An IV was hooked up to your left arm. You shifted in the bed. Bucky’s eyes fluttered open.

           “Y/N!” He gasped. “I’ll go get a doctor.”

           “No, I’m okay.”

           “You nearly died.”

           “One bullet isn’t nearly dying, Bucky. You of all people should know that.” You smirked. “Where are Steve and Sam? I know you’re not here alone.”

           A bit of what Bucky thought was distain gleamed through your tone.

           “They are downstairs getting some food.” He muttered.

           “Oh, oka-.” You were about to continue when Bucky interrupted you.

           “Why’d you do it, Y/N?” He paused for an infinite moment. “I’m awful to you.”

You thought about it for a moment. Did you save him because you might actually love him after the mission? You may have regretted the sex. Was it because you thought it was just for show? Or because you truly liked him and wanted it to be something more.

“I would never let anyone die. You might drive me insane, but I see that there is good in you."

Bucky took in the words for a second then leaned over the guard rail of the hospital bed. He caught your eyes and noticed you weren’t pulling away. He lips fell onto yours. The kiss was gentler than what you had shared in the hotel room and on the dance floor. His lips formed over your own and your tongues collided. He moved together as he carefully avoided your shoulder. Bucky laced his fingers in your hair.

You heard a gasp and pulled apart to see Steve and Sam standing in the doorway with cups of coffee.

Sam chuckled, “Told you it would work.”

Thank you for reading. This is the last part in this series and I enjoyed writing it sooooooo much <3 Please give a like, reply, follow or reblog for more content in the future. Also, you can request to be added to the tag list! I also am taking one shot requests go ahead and  send your idea in to see it brought to life!

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[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (2)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Oh man. My dudes. I received so much love and support and excited feedback on the first chapter that I thought my heart was going to explode. Y’all are so wonderful. Keep it up. <3

*****

Luckily, Matty lets them take the Phoenix jet to Houston. Flying commercial would make today even more tortuous than it already promises to be, albeit for a different reason. 

No matter how hard he tries to distract himself, Mac cannot stop staring at the diamond ring on Riley’s finger. The princess cut gem is stunning and ridiculously large, but it suits her cover as a lucrative arms dealer. A white gold wedding band sits below it. Riley left her usual assortment of rings at home, and Mac can’t help but think her long, delicate fingers look bare without them. 

He tears his eyes away from the rings again and again, both on the plane and while driving to the safe house. Riley drives with just her left hand, her right elbow resting on the center console. Mac likes driving, but there’s something relaxing about riding shotgun while Riley drives instead. He’s never been able to put a finger on it, but the sense of ease washes over him all the same. Admiring the way sunlight illuminates her engagement ring is simply a bonus. 

He doesn’t let himself imagine what he might give her, in an alternate future where she reciprocates his feelings and one day wants to marry him. 

Harley obediently lays in the backseat, staring out the windshield. She's been on her best behavior the entire twenty four hours Mac's known her, ever the professional. 

Which puts her completely at odds with Mac and Riley's shenanigans—cracking jokes, dancing on the plane and in the car, doing purposefully bad impersonations of Russ. These are the best parts of going on ops alone with Riley. They can let loose in a way they just couldn’t when anyone else other than Bozer was around. Everyone else is professional all the time; Mac and Riley are only professional when they have to be. 

Riley taps the steering wheel in time to the classic rock song on the radio. “What do you want for dinner?” 

“Dinner? We haven’t even had lunch yet!” 

“True.” Riley chuckles. “Can you tell I’m hungry?” 

Mac gives her a sly look. “Not at all.” 

They settle on Texas barbecue for lunch on their way to the safe house, because that’s what Jack would choose if he was here. If only the old man could see them now, all grown up and getting sent to take down terrorists unsupervised. 

Seated in a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Mac raises his brisket sandwich in a toast to Jack, in whatever afterlife he found himself in. Hopefully it’s the one with an endless supply of good barbecue. 

“Oh man, Jack would’ve loved this,” Riley says through a mouthful of food. She sneaks Harley a piece of brisket. 

Mac smiles. “Yeah, he would’ve.” 

It’s easier, now, to talk about him. At first, Mac hadn’t been sure he could ever get to a point where talking about Jack didn’t make him want to hit something or just curl up and sob. 

But here he is, on the other side. Him and Riley both. 

Their safe house is another twenty minutes away from the restaurant, in a nice neighborhood full of trees and children playing on the sidewalks. It’s so much greener than a California neighborhood could ever dream of being. There’s even a park across the street from their apartment complex. It’s exactly the sort of place a young, affluent couple would want to live. 

Riley parks in their designated space, and the pair ascend the stairs to apartment number 202. Outside of the car, they don’t dare use each other’s real names until they’re sure the apartment is free of bugs. The place was furnished earlier that week by other Phoenix agents, but Mac and Riley do a thorough sweep of every room just in case. 

It’s a nice apartment. Wood flooring, granite countertops, matching cabinets throughout. There are pictures on the walls, but Mac doesn’t bother to stop and check what they are. 

Riley clears the space from back to front, so Mac does the opposite. He clears the kitchen first, frowning at the absence of any sort of food, before moving on to the living room. 

Mac stops dead in his tracks when he enters the bedroom. The singular bedroom. With a singular, queen-sized bed. 

Oh no. This is not happening. 

Mac shakes his head and rubs his eyes, hoping his mind is just playing tricks on him and that there’s actually two beds. Or a whole other room he missed before. 

The one and only bed seems to mock him. 

He walks back out, finding Riley already sitting at the kitchen table, turning on her laptop. “Uhh, Riles? There’s only—”

“One bed,” she finishes, not bothering to look up. “I know.” 

Oh god. He can’t do this. He can’t. Not with his dignity still intact. Mac stammers, “I’ll, uhh, sleep on the couch. You can have it.”

That gets Riley’s attention. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re going to be here for weeks. You’ll hurt your back sleeping on the couch that long. Just sleep with me.” Riley’s eyes widen as she realizes what she just said. “In the bed,” she quickly adds. 

Mac ducks his head to hide his blush. 

“What are you working on?” he asks in a feeble attempt to distract himself from their sleeping situation. Because it will definitely be a situation if Mac’s not careful. 

“Connecting to the Wi-Fi,” Riley says in a slow, “What else would I be doing?” sort of way. 

“Right.” Mac silently curses himself. Of course that’s what she’s doing. “Anyway, I’m assuming you already know this, since you probably opened the fridge too, but we have no food.” 

“I saw.” She’s multitasking again, manicured fingers flying faster across her keyboard than Mac can keep track of. “Why don’t you unload our bags while I finish this, and then we can go.” 

Unable to help feeling like he’s been dismissed, Mac complies without protest. 

Soon they’re back in the car, headed to the grocery store, and the whole thing feels ridiculously domestic. Mac’s never been a fan of grocery shopping, but Riley makes it almost...fun. For starters, she’s not methodical about it the way Bozer and Desi are. But more than that, getting to spend time with her doing mundane, non-work stuff is a nice reminder that their relationship is more than just the job. They’re friends too. 

Mac wishes there is a way to tell her all that without it sounding weird. 

They come home, unload the groceries, and take Harley for a long walk, and that feels easy too. It feels normal, even though literally nothing about this situation is normal, and Mac already knows he’ll miss this when the op is over. 

But normalcy ends when Riley beckons Mac to sit beside her at the kitchen table, and together they write an advertisement for their arms dealing business. Once they’re satisfied with it, Riley sends it off into the dark web, and there’s nothing to do but wait, like a spider after spinning her web. 

The waiting is the worst part. 

Mac is contemplating taking Harley for a second walk when Riley asks, “Want to help me make dinner?” He takes one look at her hands on her hips and the “you don’t actually have a choice” look on her face and knows he’ll be left to fend for himself if he doesn’t help now. Mac learned that the hard way back when he and Riley lived together. 

“Sure.” 

They work in comfortable silence. Mac chops vegetables and grates cheese for their quesadillas while Riley does the actual cooking part. Even though they are doing separate tasks, Mac is acutely aware of every move Riley makes, no matter how insignificant. Flexing her long, thin fingers around a knife. Itching the back of her calf with her foot. Dancing in place, spatula in hand, while she waits to flip the quesadillas sizzling in the pan. 

Mac smiles softly. Her random little dances are cute. He’s noticed them more and more since realizing he has feelings for her, but if Mac is being honest, he’s always thought the dances are cute. 

Riley hisses as she peeks under the tortilla, checking to see if it’s browned yet. 

“You good?” Mac asks, frowning. 

“Yeah, I touched the pan by accident.” Riley runs her thumb under cold water. 

Her laptop dings while they eat. Wide-eyed, Mac glances at Riley. That was fast. She grimaces before sliding the laptop closer and checking the notification. 

“Is it them?” he asks tentatively. That’s the hard part about this; in order for their business to look more legit, they had to just put an ad out and hope for a response, rather than target the terrorist organization directly. 

Riley exhales. “No, it’s not them. It’s someone else.” 

Swallowing another bite of quesadilla, Mac says, “I don’t know whether I’m relieved or if that’s worse.” 

“Same.” 

There are no more responses that night.

*****

Mac wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in—on his side, facing outward, with as much space between him and Riley as possible. When they crawled into bed the night before, Riley did the same. 

Harley spent the night on the couch. 

She’s a very guarded dog, Mac is slowly realizing. Tolerating, but not trusting. Mac supposes he would be like that too if he was a dog and he got stuck with a bunch of strangers after his human suddenly disappeared one day. 

He makes coffee, feeds Harley breakfast, and takes a shower, all before Riley loses her battle with the snooze button and finally gets out of bed. While she showers, Mac takes Harley for a walk in hopes that the cool, spring air will ease the anxiety that took root the moment Riley released their ad into the void. 

It doesn’t. 

Dark, puffy clouds loom on the horizon, and the few birds Mac hears shriek at each other in warning. It looks like a storm is coming. 

When Mac returns, he’s met with a grim expression, one he understands without Riley uttering a single word. “They answered,” she confirms. 

“What did they say?” Unclipping Harley’s leash, Mac moves to stand behind Riley, resting his hands on the back of her chair. The scent of her shampoo tickles his nose, and he forces himself to ignore it and focus on what Riley’s saying. 

“They want to meet. Today.” 

“Time or place?” 

Riley points at a small box on her screen. “Just an address.” 

“What’s there?” 

“A warehouse,” Riley says. “Owned by the same shell corporation other Phoenix techs already tied to the organization.” 

“Not very clandestine, are they?” 

“No, they’re not.” Riley looks up at him, her head bumping his sternum, and butterflies ricochet inside Mac’s rib cage. There’s something soft in Riley’s expression that makes Mac want to kiss her. “Are you ready for this?” 

Mac sighs. “As ready as I ever am. Are you?” 

“Yeah,” she says, but her confidence falters. Without thinking, Mac squeezes her shoulders in reassurance before walking away to change.

*****

The warehouse is located on the edge of the city, in an industrial area that has certainly seen better days. Even from a distance, Mac can see cobwebs decorating the warehouse windows and rust creeping up the roller doors. Aside from Riley, there’s not another soul in sight. 

As per the directions the organization sent after Riley confirmed the meeting, Mac parks on the south side of the building, near the only functional-looking door. He doesn’t look at Riley as they get out of the car, instead desperately trying not to cringe at the cold, heavy weight of the gun holstered at his side, hidden beneath his jacket. 

High-end arms dealers couldn’t walk around unarmed, unfortunately. 

Although her hands are occupied with holding Harley’s leash, there’s a gun hidden beneath Riley’s suit jacket as well. Mac’s stomach churns. The second Riley emerged from their bedroom earlier wearing that jet black suit, she was a different person. She was wholly Genevieve Turner, and no matter how hard Mac tried, he couldn’t find even a single trace of his best friend beneath the icy exterior. 

Locking their SUV, Mac smooths the lapels of his own black suit and slips into character as well. 

The dark clouds Mac noticed earlier are directly overhead now. Mac has never believed in omens the way Jack did, but he can’t help hearing Jack’s voice in his head, warning him that black clouds are a sign of certain doom. Or something like that. 

There’s no one inside the warehouse, at least as far as Mac can see. “Hello?” he calls, the word echoing slightly in the open space. Aside from a few random wooden crates, the room is empty. 

A door slams, and then an older man comes into view. He’s probably in his late fifties, with graying hair and a beer belly his shirt doesn’t quite cover. The man swaggers like he owns the place, although Mac doubts the leader of a terrorist cell would deign to play tour guide. 

No doubt there’s a quip on the edge of Riley’s tongue about entitled white men, but she doesn’t share it. 

The man extends a hand to Mac in introduction. “Conrad.” His sneer doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Mac frowns, keeping his hands at his sides. “Last name?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

What he’s about to say might screw everything up before it even starts, but Mac says it anyway. In his gut, he knows it’s the right call. “If it doesn’t matter, then we’re done here. My wife and I have no interest in entering a business relationship with someone too inexperienced to understand that trust is integral to any transaction.” Mac spins on his heel and strides toward the door, Riley falling into step beside him. 

“Wait!” the man calls. They pause, turning around slowly. “Deacon. Conrad Deacon.” The man seems to know he’s already lost. Good. “Welcome to the cause.” He gestures for Mac and Riley to follow him. 

Mac stands his ground. In his peripheral, Riley stands utterly still, the perfect mask of cool, collected neutrality. Almost bored, even. It’s scary how easily she becomes her cover. 

“Come on now,” Conrad says, taking a single step forward. “We have much to discuss.” 

That’s enough of the power play, Mac thinks, but just as he’s about to give in and follow Conrad, Riley utters a single, sharp command that rings through the room. “Sit.” 

Harley obeys. 

Riley’s lips curve in a cruel, taunting smile. “Then enlighten us.” Mac suppresses a shiver; he’s seen this side of Riley plenty of times before, watched her hone it over the years, but it’s still unnerving. Admittedly, it’s also kind of hot. 

Conrad ignores her entirely. He croons, “Why don’t we start with your names?” It’s phrased like a question. It sounds like a question, but Mac sees the demand for what it really is. 

Mac gestures to Riley. “This is my wife, Genevieve Turner. And my name is James.” His father’s name tastes like ash on Mac’s tongue. 

“And the dog?” 

“Killer,” Riley sneers. Mac isn’t sure if she’s kidding or not. 

Again, Conrad doesn’t acknowledge her. “James, why don’t I give you the tour and explain what we do here.” 

“We’ll go on the tour, but we are not here to join your cause.” It takes every ounce of Mac’s willpower to maintain his neutral tone. “All we care about is what you’d like us to provide and how much you’ll pay for it.” 

Conrad doesn’t hide his displeasure. “Fine. Follow me.” 

Mac and Riley are led through the open warehouse. The layout is straightforward and nearly impossible to get lost in. But after Conrad shows them a room full of rifles—countless hung on the walls, floor to ceiling, the rest in half-open crates—Mac finds himself counting the number of wooden shipping crates scattered around the building. 

He doesn’t like his final number. 

Arming terrorists doesn’t sit well with Mac, even if it serves a purpose. It makes him sick, knowing he will likely be indirectly responsible for their next attack. 

Especially because those crates are no doubt full of the kind of rifles designed to kill people most effectively. The ones hanging on the wall are military grade, probably cutting-edge. Desi would know exactly what they are and how they work. 

Trusting Riley is paying close attention, Mac only half listens to Conrad babble about the cause. But then the older man says something that stops Mac in his tracks. “Our country is being run into the ground by whiny do-nothings,” Conrad asserts, “who waste our money and spew garbage that some people matter more than others. Well, you know what? Hardworking, everyday Americans matter. But no,” he scoffs, “those damn liberals don’t like it when we remind them of the truth. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off.” 

The ground sways under Mac’s feet. He knows these people believe this, read it in Matty’s extensive briefing notes. But it’s another thing entirely to hear someone say it to his face. 

He can only imagine what Riley must be thinking. 

Clearing his throat, Mac tries to redirect the conversation. “Like I said, we don’t care about your cause. Just tell us what you’re looking for, and we’ll be on our way.” 

Conrad eyes him suspiciously, but complies. “We’re looking for something a little more than what you can get at the store, you know?” 

Mac doesn’t, not exactly. He’ll have to ask Desi later. “I do,” he lies. 

“Good. Here’s what we’re willing to pay for it.” He hands Mac a folded piece of paper, and Mac does a double take when he reads the number. There are a lot of zeroes. “And as a show of good faith, we’d like it delivered tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow?” Riley splutters. Mac feels it then, the broiling rage slipping through a crack in her persona. He needs to get her out of there. Now. Not just to preserve the op, but for Riley’s wellbeing. Some audacity Matty has making Riley play nice with men like this. 

Mac slides his hands into his pockets, using the movement as a cover to brush his knuckles against Riley’s fist. I know. I’m here. I’m sorry. 

For the first time, Conrad addresses Riley directly. “Yes. Tomorrow. Unless that’s something you can’t do?” 

“We can do that,” she replies calmly, and the difference between her reactions is like night and day. As quickly as that crack appeared, it was gone. 

“Excellent.” Conrad takes another step toward Riley, offering to shake hands, but Harley’s low, menacing growl keeps him at bay. Rewarding the dog with a quick scratch on the head, Riley closes the gap and shakes Conrad’s still-outstretched hand. 

“It’s a deal,” she says. Following suit, Mac shakes Conrad’s hand as well and follows Riley out the door, neither of them uttering another word. 

Mac drives. One look at Riley’s trembling fist decides for him. 

By the time the warehouse disappears from the rearview mirror, he can’t take the silence anymore. “Hey,” Mac starts, but Riley cuts him off with a hand. 

“Not until we’re inside.” 

They hit every single red light between the warehouse and the apartment, and Mac anxiously taps the steering wheel. Raindrops land on the windshield. They’re small at first, but soon the drops are large and numerous enough to refract the streetlights, and Mac struggles to see where he’s going. He adjusts the windshield wipers over and over, never landing on the right speed. 

Too slow. Too fast. Too slow. Too fast. 

Mac settles on a setting that’s slightly too fast, and the squeak of rubber on glass nearly matches his heart thudding in his chest. 

Riley stares straight ahead, unmoving, unblinking. Mac wants to reach out, to let a gentle touch say what he verbally can’t, but the road is slick enough to make him keep two hands on the wheel. We’re almost there, he reassures himself. 

By the time he parks, it’s pouring hard enough that the ten second walk from the car to the door soaks them to the bone. Riley’s hands shake as she unlocks the apartment door. 

Once they’re inside and Mac unclips Harley’s leash, Riley turns to him with pained, pleading eyes. His heart breaking all over again, Mac draws her in for a long, tight hug. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to. 

Mac just cradles the back of her head and sways gently, wishing he could fix the world for her. 

Neither pulls away, even when Riley suddenly says, “If Conrad was smart, he would’ve had someone bug our car while he paraded us around the warehouse. I don’t think he’s actually smart enough to do that, but we should check first, just in case.” 

Mac curses himself for not thinking of that. “Good call.” He rubs Riley’s back, hoping the gesture is soothing. “I hate the way he treated you,” he snarls. “Like you weren’t even worth acknowledging.” 

“Welcome to being a woman.” 

It was more than that. They both know it. But neither say it.

*****

“You need what?” Matty shrieks over the phone. 

Mac winces. “Sorry.” He’d called Desi first, to ask what kind of guns Conrad meant with his innuendo, and received a verbal lashing for not asking any follow-up questions. But she made her best guess anyway. Now on the phone with Matty, it doesn’t take even a single brain cell to know that her reaction will be much, much worse. 

“He wants us to prove ourselves,” Riley adds. “As a show of good faith.” The words come out dripping in venom, but their boss doesn’t comment. Mac takes a second to study her; Riley changed into leggings and an oversized flannel shirt, and there are still remnants of dark makeup smudges under her eyes. Now, she’s sitting on the kitchen counter with her knees tucked into her chest. It’s weird to see her take up so little space. 

Matty sighs, deeply and loudly in a way conveys her annoyance more than words ever could. “Fine. A few weeks ago, Border Control confiscated a huge shipment of smuggled guns near El Paso, so I’ll see if we can borrow those. But next time, Blondie, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He doesn’t correct Matty in that it was Riley who made the deal. That would only add fuel to the fire. 

“Thank you,” he says, and Matty hangs up. Mac runs a hand through his damp hair. “That went well.” Riley’s lips twitch, but it’s not the amused reaction he hopes for. He’s at a complete loss regarding what to say to her, so Mac gently asks, “What can I do?” 

Riley slides off the counter, and Mac reaches for her automatically, although he doesn’t actually touch her; his hand hovers just beside Riley’s elbow. She doesn’t shrink away, but she makes no move to touch him either. 

“Help me put him and everyone like him in a deep, dark hole where they can’t hurt anybody. And then just…” she trails off, taking a deep breath. “Keep being you.” 

With that, she walks away, leaving Mac alone in the kitchen, racking his brain to figure out what that last part means.

*****

Later that night, Mac tosses and turns, replaying Conrad’s words. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off. They seem off-kilter, like what the man said and what he really meant are misaligned. Mac sighs, rubbing his face. 

Another bolt of lightning illuminates the bedroom, and Mac automatically counts the seconds until he hears thunder rumbling in the distance. The storm is moving closer. 

Beside him, Riley lies on her back with her eyes closed, although her breathing is too light for her to be asleep. Mac wonders if her mind is just as loud and chaotic as his. 

For Riley’s sake, he hopes it’s not.

*****

Sleep never finds Mac. 

The storm rages all through the night, but by the time dawn arrives, the thunder and wind dissipate, leaving just the steady downpour. The clouds are dark enough that Mac can hardly tell the sun even bothered to rise this morning. 

When Riley’s alarm goes off, it’s like the shrill tone is mocking Mac for being awake. Riley groans as she shuts it off. 

“Morning,” he mumbles. His throat hurts. He needs water. “Did you sleep well?”

Another groan. “No.” 

“At least you slept,” Mac mutters.

Riley rolls onto her side, drawing one of the extra pillows into her chest. “Do you always toss and turn that much?”

It was his fault, he realizes, that she didn’t sleep. Mac suddenly feels guilty. “Sorry. And no.” 

He expects Riley to be upset at being kept awake, but she isn’t. With a look that just might be understanding, she softly asks, “What were you thinking about?” 

Mac can’t say that his thoughts whip around his mind like raindrops in last night’s storm. Not without sounding crazy, at least. So instead he says, “I don’t even know. I just have a bad feeling about this.” 

“Me too,” Riley admits. “It feels off.” Her eyes are heavy, and Mac’s had enough early mornings with Riley to know it’s not just the lack of sleep weighing her down. 

“Go back to sleep. I can handle the delivery.” 

Riley rolls her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting you do that by yourself.” 

He doesn’t argue. “Okay.” 

A moment passes between them. It’s been happening more and more lately—holding eye contact a little too long, sharing smirks when no one else is looking, stealing moments where it’s just the two of them and nothing else matters. Each one gives him hope that there’s not a wall between them, but instead, a door. Someone just has to be brave enough to open it. 

Sitting up, Riley quipps, “Just don’t make me regret letting you sleep in the bed with me.” Mac snorts. 

“No promises.”

.

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[let-it-raines]

Prompt: we met each other while each doing the (separate) walk of shame after a night out with other people.

Just a continuous shoutout to @shireness-says for sending me the most random but best prompts and also for only judging how bad of a cook I am a little 😘

on ao3 | here | if that’s how you want to read!

-/-

Emma doesn’t have rules about a lot of things in her life, but she has rules about this, about one-night stands.

Rule 1: They are always, always, always one night.

Rule 2: They never come back to her place.

Rule 3: She always gets up and leaves before they wake up, if she falls asleep there at all.

It’s not the nicest move in the world, but, well, Emma isn’t hanging around with these guys to be nice. She’s not there for the small talk, for the sink sharing as she brushes her teeth with a little toothpaste on her finger. She’s definitely not there for the breakfasts. She’s sure that they’re fine, that some of them are more than good, but, well, she doesn’t really care enough to get to know how the guy likes his eggs. The guy definitely doesn’t care how she takes hers. He probably just wants another fuck, and no matter how good the night before was, Emma doesn’t do more than one time.

Rule number one and all that.

And it’s not that she’s going around having one-time things all the time, and it’s not that there would be anything wrong with that if she was. But she’s been around the block enough times to know to come up with her rules.

Right now, she hates herself a little for falling asleep, but she’s become a tad bit rusty on this whole thing. It’s been awhile since she’s done this. She was with Walsh for a year, and, well, it took her awhile to need to scratch the itch after that ended. But last night…let’s just say she needed to last night, so she put on some mascara and a red lip, found a dress that was a little too tight and a little too low cut, and she went to a club for the first time in ages. She nearly texted Ruby and Mulan and asked them to come with her, but she chickened out at the last minute.

Emma Swan: catches bad guys for a living, chickens out asking her friends to go drinking and dancing with her.

The cold morning air nips at her legs and her shoulders, and she wraps her arms around herself as she dodges a sewer grate to keep her heel from getting caught. She’s nearly to her apartment door. She won’t freeze before then. Still, next time she’s remembering a jacket.

Emma speeds up when she’s a building away, especially as more people start leaving their apartments and heading for work or the gym or wherever else people go on Saturday mornings, and just as she’s reaching for the side door of her apartment building, someone else’s hand touches it first. She watches it, taking in the dark hair over the knuckles and up his forearm, and Emma’s eyes follow up his arm. He’s wearing a dark gray shirt that only has one or two buttons down at the bottom in order to show off an impressive amount of chest hair, and when she looks at his face, the first thing she notices is how messy his hair is and then the red pillow creases on his cheek.

Oh.

Emma blushes, but she doesn’t know why. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, especially since they’re both coming home from the same exact thing.

The man flashes a smile, bright white against the black of his slightly overgrown stubble, and pulls the door open before gesturing for her to move forward.

“After you, love.”

“Thanks,” Emma mumbles.

She ducks her head and walks inside the building, reveling in the heat that immediately comes down on her skin. She walks down the hallway, and the guy’s footsteps follow behind her. She gets into the elevator. He does too. If she didn’t slightly recognize him, her shoulders would tense and her nerves would stand on edge. She does recognize him, though, from around the building. She’s sure she’s seem him once or twice before.

“Cold out there this morning,” he whistles as his fingers begin to toy with his shirt, one more button closing, not that it helps.

“Yep.”

“Almost makes staying until they wake up worth it.”

“Or paying for a damn cab.”

He huffs and tilts his head back to scratch his jaw. That is an unfairly sharp jawline. “Killian Jones. Floor seven.”

“Emma.”

“No last name? Or floor number?”

“Oh Jones,” Emma sighs, twisting toward him. She crosses her arms under her bust despite knowing it will draw attention to her boobs, and sure enough, he glances down. “You’re going to have to watch me do the walk of shame a few more times before you get any of that.”

There’s that smile again. The door opens on his floor, and he steps through the opening but still places his hand on the door to keep it from closing. “It’s only a walk of shame if you’re ashamed of it. I prefer to think of it as a stride of pride. Or perhaps, just a very satisfied walk home.”

And then he’s gone, and the doors close behind him as Emma goes up one more floor.

-/-

“Well, you certainly look different.”

Emma’s shoulder’s tense, and slowly, she turns on her head to see what jackass is talking to her. It takes her a moment to recognize him, a moment of cold weather and tired eyes and the slightest bit of a hangover, but she rarely forgets a face. Or a man who displays that much chest in nearly freezing weather. Then again, she was doing the same. She notices he seems to be doing the same thing now while she’s got on a shirt that covers almost all of her.

“Yeah, well, I find flannel is much more comfortable than skin-tight sequins.”

She’s in her pajamas in the lobby of her building getting the mail. Yeah, most people are just now getting home from work and are in real clothes, but when you have the day off, there’s no reason to put on real pants.

“Oh, I agree. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is when I have to wear sequins, Swan.”

She fully turns. “I never told you my last name.”

Killian leans forward and taps on her mailbox where E. Swan is written. Just below it, there’s a K. Jones. Oh.

“If you’ll excuse me.”

Emma locks her box and steps to the side so Killian can get his mail. There are only two envelopes in there, and one of them is a slip to pick up a package from the front desk. Emma swears it’s the only reason they still have these mailboxes. She realizes she’s standing there staring at the back of his head and at the suit he’s wearing even though she has no reason to still be there. She needs to be back up in her apartment getting dressed to go to the gym since she’s neglected it all day today. She should have gotten up this morning and gotten it over with.

Idly, she wonders what he does for a living, but then she remembers she needs to go before she seems weird.

Weirder.

She’s definitely already weird.

-/-

He’s at her gym.

Granted, it’s literally the gym in the building next door to her where all of the residents go, but still. She’s never seen him in there before.

She also rarely goes at this time.

He’s running on the treadmill in a fitted shirt and pair of joggers, and she’s on the elliptical behind him, warming up before her Pilates class. Emma ducks her head and focuses on her music and her movement, trying not to draw his attention.

When he winks at her in the mirror, she knows she’s failed.

When she nearly falls over on the elliptical, she decides she’s going to have to move apartments.

(Not really. She’d never leave this place, not when it’s a damn good apartment.)

-/-

Emma hates doing honeytraps. They feel demeaning and a little sexist, but they work. She puts on a skintight dress, pushes her boobs up, combs out her hair, and she can get the guys she needs to pay her enough attention that she can easily handcuff them and bring them down to the closest precinct.

Tonight, it went fine. It took her longer to curl her hair than to get the guy to flirt with her at the bar, but on her walk back to her car from the precinct, someone drove by and splashed dirty water all over her. It was a good dress. She should have worn the cheaper one.

It’s long past midnight when she gets back to her apartment, and even though she looks like she’s the one who got arrested tonight, she walks through her lobby, nodding at the night guard, and then heads toward the elevator with her wet shoes in hand. It’s amazing that no one complains about her and gets her kicked out. There’s a group of women in this building who take pride in judging anyone who isn’t just like them, and Emma avoids them at all costs.

Who she can’t seem to avoid, however, is Killian Jones, because he comes sulking in the side door and gets in the elevator at the last moment, sticking his hand through the closing doors until they open back up just for him.

“We have to stop meeting here,” he teases.

“I believe last time we met at the gym.”

“Well, I’d say we’d have to stop meeting there as well, but I’m sure you had a grand time staring at my ass as I ran.”

“Are you always this conceited?”

“Confident.” Emma rolls her eyes as the elevator doors finally close. “Rub some detergent on your stain and then scrub it with a toothbrush before washing it. The stain should come out.”

Emma looks down at her outfit. It’s far beyond the point of repair, especially with a toothbrush. “Uh, thanks.”

“And maybe don’t sleep with a man who ruins your dress like that.”

“Oh, this is from work,” she laughs, adjusting her heels in her hands.

“What in the bloody hell do you do?”

“Bounty hunter, bail bonds, things like that. A little bit of everything. This,” she gestures to her dress, “was an accident from a reckless driver speeding outside the police station.”

“Just who are you, Swan?” Killian asks with a smirk and raised brows. She has a feeling he does that a lot.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He smiles at her teasing, leaning in that little bit closer to her, and she’s reminded of how small this space is. Emma wants to change the subject from herself, so she quickly asks, “aren’t you a little too overdressed to be coming home from your…stride of pride?”

He smiles and scratches behind his ear. “Coming home from the office, actually.”

“It’s one in the morning.”

The doors open again on his floor and he steps outside, holding his hand to the door. “Work never stops when your boss is an asshole who thinks contract negotiations cannot be handled during normal business hours. See you around, Swan.”

Emma waves and smiles as the doors close again.

-/-

Emma goes weeks without seeing him, and she nearly forgets about the man who keeps seeing her at slightly low points in her life. It all goes on. She goes to work, and since the scumbags are out in full force, she makes enough in a month to cover rent for six months. It feels damn good to be that secure in her life when half a decade ago she never would have been able to consider living in a nice place and knowing she could pay for it. She goes out with her friends, sometimes stays in since David and Mary Margaret are homebodies ever since they decided to try for a baby, which Emma knows way too much about – seriously, Mary Margaret shares details about the positions and tracking apps and womb temperatures, and it’s a great way to make sex seem unappealing –  and things get back to normal as winter melts into spring and the miserable chill of Boston fades away.

But then she has a bad day.

“What do you even know about family?”

The words were spit at her as the man ran out of the restaurant in the same way that he’d run out on his family, and even though he’s now going to be held accountable for his actions, nothing about it sat right with Emma. How can you have a family and just leave them? Why do people keep doing that?

So instead of going home, she goes to a bar, ordering a drink and sitting in the corner as she watches other people drink and talk and, quite frankly, dance poorly. It’s entertaining if only because it keeps her mind off her own life, and then she sees him.

He’s in dark jeans and a button-down, black leather jacket still on, and even though he seems to be in a group of friends, Emma walks over to him, tapping him on the shoulder until he turns to look at her with a smirk and a raised brow.

Yep, he definitely does that move a lot.

“Fancy seeing you here, love.”

“I could say the same to you.”

The smirk widens to a smile, and he has ridiculously blue eyes. She didn’t even know that kind of blue was possible in such dark lighting.

“Swan, this is Rob, Will, and Eric. Mates, this is Emma. She lives in my building.”

They all mutter different versions of ‘nice to meet you’ and Emma returns the platitudes. Then Killian orders her another glass of wine while ordering himself some more rum, and instead of sitting alone all night, she sits with him.

And his friends. But she kind of forgets about them as she talks to Killian. He’s charming, funny too, and while she tends to think corporate lawyers must have had their soul sucked away at some point in their lives, she doesn’t think that about him.

She likes him.

It’s a weird feeling after going so long floundering around after Walsh, not sure that any man is capable of keeping her genuinely entertained for more than an hour, but it’s three hours later, and her jaw hurts from smiling. After earlier, she definitely didn’t think she was capable of smiling that much.

Or at all.

At some point, she tells Killian her guilty pleasure food is grilled cheese, as greasy as you can get, and they end up in a small diner with grilled cheese and cups of coffee in front of them. It’s damn good grilled cheese, and after she finishes chewing, she covers her mouth and laughs.

“What?” he asks with his mug in front of his lips.

“You really took me to get grilled cheese as if me liking it was a personality trait.”

His brows raise, little lines raising with them, and he takes another sip of his coffee. “I don’t know about you, but a night out drinking now isn’t the same as when I was twenty-two. You have to do the hangover prep beforehand.”

“Old man.”

He shrugs. “I imagine I’m not much older than you.”

“Yeah, but I can handle my alcohol better.”

“We’ll have to see about that another night.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

They leave the diner and the neon signs behind sometime around three in the morning, and when they get back to their apartment and into the elevator, Emma gets off on the sixth floor instead of the seventh.

-/-

Rule 3: She always gets up and leaves before they wake up, if she falls asleep there at all.

When Emma opens her eyes, she knows she’s failed herself.

The sun is shining through his curtains, indicating that it’s long past her normal escape hours, and even though the view outside is the same as her apartment, she knows that she isn’t in her apartment. Not even close.

Well, geographically speaking, no, she’s actually very close. She’s only one floor below. Her bedroom is right above this, and her bed is in the exact same place.

But her bed is empty, the covers still pulled up, and there isn’t a naked man in it.

Or a naked Emma.

Shit.

Killian’s hand is on her boob, his leg half-draped over hers, and slowly, she moves them both off. She has to go, to get out of her, but just as she’s moving him, he moves himself.

Closer. He moves closer.

“Hmmm, morning,” he hums, flicking his finger against her breast before moving it down over her side and to her hip. His hands are surprisingly calloused for someone who spends all day in an office, but she likes it. She remembers thinking that last night too. “Do you want breakfast? Or do you need to go? Either is fine with me.”

She’s almost offended he gives her choices, but then she realizes what he’s saying. He doesn’t care if she stays or goes, and that makes the ball of anxiety in Emma’s chest get smaller. Emma flips over to face him. His hair is a mess and a red mark is on his cheek. He sleepily grins.

“I need to go. This was great, but it was a one-time thing.”

He flips over on his back and crosses his arms behind his head. The comforter is pulled just low enough on his hips that she can see just enough to entice her to stay, but she doesn’t. She goes, getting dressed as he watches her before awkwardly saying goodbye.

“It’s a stride of pride,” he yells out, his accent thicker than usual, and Emma finds herself smiling as she closes the door behind her.

-/-

Rule 2: They never come back to her place.

Okay, so the thing about Killian living in the apartment below her is that he knows where she lives. And that’s fine. She’s pretty good at reading people, and she didn’t peg him as someone she needed to worry about. From their first meeting, she knows he’s comfortable with one-time things. He’s not going to be someone who tries for more, which is what she’s like.

But now he’s at her door, take-out bag in hand, saying he stopped by after work but decided he didn’t want the grease. Is there any chance she’d like it?

She would.

And despite the fact that she practically raised herself and didn’t exactly teach herself manners, she does have some. So she lets him in, offers him some coffee that he takes, and they sit and talk for awhile, about nothing and everything and all of the other things in between. It’s nice, and it’s not until he takes off his suit jacket and undoes the buttons on his shirt that she remembers that they slept together.

Several times in one night.

Because she’s, well, an idiot.

And now he’s at her place drinking her coffee while she eats food he brought her. It’s all a little too domestic for her, a little too comfortable, so instead of water, she grabs wine to dull her mind.

“You like wine?” Emma asks.

“Love it.”

“Good. Let’s drink.”

Killian chuckles. “Let me finish my coffee first, and then I’ll join you. Mind if we move to the living room?”

She absolutely minds. That’s a horrible, horrible idea.

“Not at all.”

-/-

Rule 1: They are always, always, always one night.

She messed up.

Big time.

Okay, so she’s messed up big time, multiple times.

Because Killian is asleep in her bed with only his boxers on, she’s wearing his shirt like some kind of movie cliché, and there’s a mark on her neck that’s going to require some makeup to hide.

Great. Just great.

It can’t get any worse.

-/-

She offers him breakfast.

He accepts and stays.

Shit.

-/-

Emma’s life is pretty unpredictable. From her job hours to her appetite to the outfits she’s going to wear. She likes it that way. It keeps her from getting bored or thinking too much. She likes not having a routine.

She likes it, and plans on keeping it that way.

But little by little she starts to notice a routine forming.

He’ll show up at her apartment with food. She’ll show up at his with nothing most of the time but sometimes a bottle of wine or rum, since she now knows that’s what he prefers. They talk, they laugh, maybe they watch a little TV, but it always, always, always ends up in the same place.

In bed.

Or on the couch. Once or twice in the kitchen even if that is the devil on her ass and her knees, but in the moment, she’s not thinking too much about that.

Or about how she’s broken every single one of her rules more than once. They are gone, out her window, and she doesn’t know how to get back to them.

Emma doesn’t think she wants to. She likes this arrangement. She’s got a friend and a fuck buddy all in one, and she doesn’t have to go out to find someone. There’s no lingerie or hour’s worth of makeup or heels that hurt her. It’s pajamas and whatever unmatched underwear she happens to have on that day. Killian doesn’t care, and she likes that.

She likes spending time with him.

That was not in the plan.

-/-

There’s a tap on her bedroom floor. Then another one. And another.

Emma picks up her phone.

ES: Are you hitting a broom against your ceiling?

KJ: Yes, come down here.

ES: You come up here.

KJ: No. I need to show you something.

ES: If it’s your dick, I’m not leaving my apartment. I’ve seen it.

KJ: And it’s very impressive, I know. But no, that’s not it.

Emma laughs and rolls off her bed, pulling on boots with her jean shorts and t-shirt. She looks ridiculous, but she doesn’t care. When Killian opens his apartment door, he glances down at her for a moment, but then he’s ushering her inside and shoving a stack of paper in her face.

“What’s this?” Emma asks.

“Read it,” he insists, bouncing on his feet.

Emma reads it, doesn’t understand what the hell any of it means, but there are two very clear words written at the bottom.

Junior Partner.

Holy shit.

“They’re making you partner?” Emma gasps, looking up at him. “Holy shit, Jones!”

“I know,” he laughs. “Who would have thought the arrogant, Navy-educated asshole would make Junior Partner at the ripe old age of thirty-five?”

“Hey, you’re only, like, a minor level asshole.” He rolls his eyes, and Emma drops the paper down before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Congratulations. You deserve it.”

“Oh, I definitely don’t, but if I’ve fooled them into it, I won’t correct them.”

Emma laughs and hugs him tighter as his hands move up and down her back, settling just above her ass. “Should we celebrate?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Go out? Or stay in and eat cake? Sex?”

“There’s a company party at my boss’s house if you’d like to come.”

“All for you?”

“No,” he laughs, kissing her forehead and patting her back once more. “For the fourth tomorrow, but it’s free booze and free food.”

“Then I’m there.”

-/-

Even with the free booze, free food, and ridiculously gigantic pool, Emma kind of regrets coming to this thing. She doesn’t know anyone but Killian, and every single person keeps calling her his girlfriend even when he corrects them.

Emma is definitely not his girlfriend.

But after awhile, there’s only so many times you can deny it, and Killian starts telling people different stories of how they met, making them more ridiculous as he goes along. She doesn’t know how this won’t backfire since he has to work with these people, but he assures her they all work in different departments. He never sees them, and they never see each other.

To one man, they met on a cruise. To another, it was in the buffet line at a shopping center. To someone in accounting, they met at a cooking class where Emma was just struggling so much that he had to come help her out.

She’s offended even if that’s totally what would have happened had she gone to a cooking class.

There are so many different stories and meetings that Emma can’t keep up, especially as she tries to remember names. Eventually she gives up and laughs along at how good of a liar and storyteller that Killian is. She could listen to him do this for hours.

And she does.

The sun starts to set, and they settle on a swing in the backyard, his arm around her shoulder as they sway back and forth. Her skin is sun-kissed, her eyes tired, and she hasn’t felt as content as she is right now in a long damn time.

“This was fun,” she tells Killian.

“Aye,” he agrees, kissing her temple and rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m sure you had better plans than to come to this.”

“Not a one.”

He raises his brow. “No?”

“Nope. I can’t think of anything better than drinking free alcohol and lying to your coworkers about how we met. None of them know it was because both of us were coming home from one-night stands.”

“And that’s the most romantic one.”

Emma tilts her head back in laughter. “Ah, yes, the old ‘we met after fucking other people.’ A classic love story.”

Killian kicks at the ground to keep them swinging, and Emma pulls her legs up, curling them underneath her. “You know, Swan, that was the best one-night stand of my life.”

“She that good?”

“I don’t even remember her, but I remember running into you. You were, are, gorgeous, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Believe it or not, I do fancy you from time to time.”

Emma’s heart is doing something ridiculous, and she doesn’t think she can stop it.

“Is it all the orgasms?”

He laughs at her joke, but he pulls her closer, resting his cheek against her head as they keep moving. “Those are bloody fantastic, but I like other things about you too. I like doing things like this, talking, having a cuddle, watching my boss make an idiot of herself on her diving board. I’d like to do it more often.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” She’s half-joking, but when she twists her head to look at Killian, she sees that he’s not.

Oh.

Oh.

“Aye, I am. If you’re amenable to that.”

Emma gulps to get air down in her lungs, and before she can think too much about it, she nods her head and leans up to kiss Killian in a way that she’s never really kissed him before – with no intention of it leading to something more than this, the two of them swaying on a swing wrapped around each other. “I would definitely be.”

“Good. Tomorrow?”

“I’m busy. Going out with a new guy. But maybe another time.”

She knows his eyes roll as he kisses her, and Emma could get used to this.

-/-

New rule: Never, ever, ever kiss anyone but Killian Jones ever again.

Emma thinks she can definitely stick to that rule.

[ikingsley]

Ina x MC: Sabbatical (Part 3)

Ina x MC: Sabbatical (Part 3)

Read the first two parts here: Sabbatical (Part 1) & Sabbatical (Part 2).

Summary: Ina attempts to reclaim her woman.

Warnings: I’m gonna call it angsty fluff. But more fluff this time.

Tag: @samanthadalton @domakir @kulaykape @hellyeah90sbaby @dopeyouth @kwaj05 @thedaft1 @swimmingshoebakerydreamer

Author’s Notes: Third part/finale of the Sabbatical series that was requested by @kwaj05.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ina finally got back to her apartment, she plopped herself on the bed, sighed profoundly, and barely held herself together. She decided to call Lilian; it had been a while since they talked. She had told her about their separation, but didn’t want to get into too many details. At the time, it was still too raw and Ina could barely make out entire sentences without breaking down again.

“Hey, Auntie Ina!” Charlotte’s voice rang out.

Oh damn kids. Always so damn cheery and naive. Ina had to quickly put on a facade that was more appropriate to talk to her niece.

“Hi Charlotte! What have you been up to?” Ina asked.

“I’m reading that book you gave me for Christmas! About antropogy,” Charlotte said proudly.

“Are you enjoying erm...‘antropogy’?” Ina questioned.

“Yeah! It’s so cool!” Charlotte said.

Ina was happy that she could instill her values and academic pursuits into her little niece. She thought beat that Lilian! Your own daughter’s going to be an anthropologist. And a good one. Lilian always talked smack about how Ina was a fake doctor.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying anthropology. I’ll let you get back to the book. Can I talk to Mommy?” Ina diverted.

“Yea! Wait- Auntie Ina! Are you coming over soon? With pretty Auntie Luna?” Charlotte asked.

“Errr...sure, yes honey,” Ina said and sighed. Charlotte had asked a very valid question. 

She heard a couple shuffles on the other end, and Lilian’s voice finally was heard from the other end.

“Hey, Ina.”

And just like that, Ina’s barriers crumpled down. She was almost at the verge of tears again.

“Lil, I came all the way to New York and she didn’t want to see me,” Ina trembled.

“Wait, you’re here now? What do you mean?” Lilian asked concerned.

“I flew back when I heard that Luna had gotten into an accident. I stayed with her all night. I held her hand. I told her how much I loved her. And when she woke up in the morning, she demanded that I leave,” Ina sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Ina. I know it’s been rough without her these past weeks. But what do you want to do about it? Do you want to do something about it or are you going to keep whining about it?“

Lilian’s abrasiveness did not come as a surprise to Ina. Lilian could be a nurturing mother or tough-love mother, and nothing in between. It was this tough love that Ina received most often. And it worked well for the sisters. Ina usually was able to see that she was complaining without taking action, and Lilian had taught her that self-pity wouldn’t get her very far. After all, Lilian was familiar to hard times. She knew from personal experience that moping around would not help her achieve success.

“I...I don’t know. She said she didn’t want to see me. And I respect her too much to disobey it. But god, I am so in love with her. Every moment without her feels like a waste of my time. And Lil, I want to be with her. For forever. I’m just...lost. I don’t know what to do. It hurts so much to think that she was out there looking for me when the accident happened,” Ina admitted.

“Well, give her time first. She’s probably feeling lost too. She probably still loves you,” Lilian said.

Probably.

~

A few days had passed uneventfully. Initially, Belvoire was upset that Ina had left her post, but what were they going to do? Fire the most beloved professor at the school? Not make money off the anthropology department? Ina told the administrative board that she preferred teaching to doing research, which was a complete lie, but it would have to do. It was that or losing Luna. 

At the sound of each vibration from her phone, Ina perked up in anticipation. Maybe it was Luna. And time after time, she was bombarded by notifications from everyone but Luna.

But eventually, she got what she wanted.

Saturday 1/23 @1:42pm

Luna: Hey. We should probably talk. Can you come by later this evening?

Ina was on cloud nine. Finally! she thought. But then her stomach summersaulted within her. It had been so long since the pair had truly talked. And like a giddy teenager on her first date, Ina felt anxious about seeing Luna. She was too nervous to drive and had contacted Lilian to take her there. 

When Lilian came to Ina’s apartment to pick her up, Ina was ready. She had a whole speech planned out in her head. Ina sat in the passenger’s seat and not even having settled in completely, her young niece made a comment. 

“Woah! You look nice!” Charlotte said as her mother smirked. 

And Charlotte wasn’t wrong. Ina looked good. Albeit simple, Ina wore a red pantsuit. Her makeup was done immaculately, topped off with red lipstick that matched her jacket. 

After some small talk, they had finally gotten to the hospital. The same receptionist smiled at Ina, letting her in easily this time.

~

Ina knocked nervously on the door, Lilian and Charlotte hidden behind her. At first, Lilian didn’t want to impose, but Charlotte insisted on seeing Auntie Luna. And Ina figured that it could potentially help her case.

“Come in,” Luna said.

And god, did Ina miss the sound of her voice. It was warm and comforting, just like a home should be. 

“You have a couple extra visitors today,” Ina said as Charlotte ran towards Luna.

“Auntie Luna!!!!” Charlotte exclaimed as she almost crashed into Luna’s open arms.

“Hey Lilian and Charlotte! How are you? Do you want to sit up here on the bed with me?” Luna asked. She hadn’t even looked nor addressed Ina, and for a split second, Ina was jealous of her own niece.

Luna picked up Charlotte so that they could be sitting on the bed together.

“I brought Scrabble!”

“You don’t need to play if you don’t wan-” Ina interjected and Luna glared at Ina. Ina’s face reddened in embarrassment.

“Let’s play, Charlotte!” Luna said. Cutely nerdy. Just like Ina, Luna thought to herself.

Luna, Charlotte and Lilian played Scrabble while Ina sat off to the side. Ina ran through her thoughts. Luna had texted her to come, but the glare was disheartening. But she was determined. She had to win her woman back. Ina ran out of the room, an idea formulating in her head. Lilian and Luna looked at her strangely, but they continued to entertain Charlotte. 

Meanwhile, Ina darted across the street. She wanted her woman back and would do anything to achieve her goal. Ina practically made her way around New York. She stopped at various places, just to get set up her extravagant redemption date. 

Although Ina went as quickly as possible, an hour had passed by. Charlotte had knocked out on the foot of the bed. Lilian and Luna proceeded to talk, finally unconstrained by Charlotte’s youthful presence.

“What Ina did...well, she should’ve told you about the sabbatical,” Lilian reflected. Luna only scoffed.

“I know how much her career means to her, but well...I hope she would’ve told me. We could’ve worked it out,” Luna said.

“And now, do you think you can work it out?” Lilian asked.

“I...” Luna began, but luckily she was saved by the bell. Ina walked in briskly, her hands full of things that she had just bought. 

“I better go...Charlotte’s going to be confused if she doesn’t wake up her bed,” Lilian said.

And this was enough reason for both women to oust Lilian and her young daughter. Ina carried Charlotte out to Lilian’s car, kissing her forehead as she strapped on her seatbelt. 

“Go get your woman,” Lilian smiled.

“I will,” Ina said. Finally, a small smile appeared on her face, the first smile after weeks of incessant crying and frowns. Ina had the opportunity to get Luna back, and she wouldn’t take it for granted. Not anymore. 

Ina returned to Luna’s room. Now it was real; there were no distractions left. 

“Hey,” Ina said as she closed the door.

“Hey,” Luna returned. “Sit down, please.”

Ina began speaking, but she was swiftly cut off by Luna.

“Let me go first, please,” Luna interrupted. “You know goddamn well you should’ve told me about the sabbatical.”

“I- yes. I know. My failure to communicate with you, well, it’s cost me everything,” Ina said melancholically.

“Ina, look, at first I was upset by the accident. I wanted to catch you at the airport like all those stupid, corny romcoms we would watch together. Even though it didn’t turn out like that,” Luna said gesturing at her physical appearance. “I don’t blame you for the accident. I shouldn’t have been driving in that state. And I don’t want you blaming yourself for it.”

Guilt crept onto Ina’s features. Luna knew that Ina was still blaming herself.

“I...I understand,” Ina said slowly. “I’m so sorry, Luna.”

“Again Ina, don’t blame yourself. Please.”

And just like that, Ina burst out into tears. All the pain, all the emotion, all the guilt she was holding let out suddenly.

“Hey...shh...come here,” Luna said, offering her arms to embrace Ina.

Ina crawled onto the bed. It had been a long time since they had shared one. Luna wiped away Ina’s tears as she held her in her other arm.

“It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. Now we’re here. Together,“ Luna consoled.

The two shared a couple more moments in each other’s arms. Ina felt safe while being embraced by Luna. After she gained some form of coherence, she clasped Luna’s hands and stared straight into the younger woman’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I was selfish when thinking about the sabbatical. And I should’ve told you when I was applying. I think I was just scared of losing you. Maybe I did that either way. Anyway, my time without you made me realized that well, you’re everything. You’re everything I’ve ever needed and everything I’ll ever need. God, I’m so madly in love with you, it’s actually terrifying. But anything with you is less terrifying. I want everything with you, Lu. I want to hold you until we fall asleep. I want to wake up next to you the following morning. I want to be nerdy with you. I want to plan lavish dates with you. I want to travel the world with you. I want you in every part of my life. And I don’t want to spend a minute without you. I’ll work towards making it up to you. I’ll tell you how much I love you every second of the day. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to have you back in my arms. I’ll do anything to make sure that you’re mine again. And if you’ll have me, I’ll spend every moment showing you that I love you with everything in me, Luna. Wherever you are, that’s my home.”

The two women were both crying like babies by now. Funnily enough, the nurse had peered into the room and backed out just as quickly as he saw this unfolding. Nope! I’m not paid enough for that, he thought.

Luna, through her tears could only produce one short sentence. “You know, you talk a lot, Ina,” she jested.

Smiling, Ina felt a sense of relief rush through her. She had done it. 

“I’m glad this turned out well because...I bought a ton of stuff. Otherwise, it would’ve been awkward,” Ina said hopping off the bed. Then she presented Luna with a bouquet of red roses. Luna was happy to have received them, but her eyes jumped at when she saw something else.

“Baby, I didn’t tell you how damn fine you look toda- Oh my god! Non-hospital food!” Luna said as Ina took out the takeout boxes.

Ina climbed back into the bed, pulling Luna’s blanket over the two of them. The two ate together happily, catching up on their time apart. Ina put her arm around Luna and turned to face her. She rested her forehead against her lover’s and whispered “I love you.” Luna smiled happily, her lips meeting Ina’s.

Ina rested her head on Luna’s shoulder. The witty and clever woman she was so blindly in love with was back. And she was hers. Forever.

[howtosingit]

Fic: I’ll Build My Life Around You

Sometimes TK can be reckless on the job, and he doesn’t always think about what that means for his boyfriend.

*

Written for @tarlosweek2020 - Day 3: First Love Confession

2.2K | Also on AO3.

-----

The drive from the hospital to Carlos’s apartment is tense, and TK has no idea how to lighten the mood. 

He’s not quite sure what he expected, but as he turns to look at his boyfriend in the driver’s seat next to him, it’s not a clenched jaw or a hard stare forward. He doesn’t really get why Carlos is so upset; it was only a minor accident, he’s got a few scrapes and bruises, but he’ll be back to work for his next shift later this week with no problems. He’s totally fine.

Except, Carlos isn’t acting like he’s fine. If TK didn’t know any better, he would almost say that Carlos seems angry with him.

They’ve been dating for almost three months now, and anger isn’t something that TK really associates with his boyfriend. Not that Carlos is an emotionally shallow person or anything. TK has heard him go on and on about work and other officers and politics and a number of other things. His boyfriend gets frustrated a lot, and because he tries to remain professional in public, TK is one of the few people who gets to see it unleashed. 

Carlos can also be sensitive. If there’s one thing that TK knows with absolute certainty, it’s that his boyfriend wears his heart on his sleeve for the world to see. He feels the pain of others so deeply, and all he wants to do is take care of everyone that he meets. His hero complex is the size of Texas, and it’s something that TK can relate to. They both have an overwhelming need to help people, and for TK, it’s what keeps landing him in the emergency room.

But TK knows that Carlos gets that, that he understands it. So, the negative energy radiating off of him right now is confusing. Especially since he’s usually very tactile and gentle when TK gets hurt, always willing to wrap him in his arms and cover him in kisses. It’s actually pretty gross, how cute they are together, but TK wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

He loves Carlos, even if he hasn’t told him yet. 

They pull into the driveway, still not a word said between them, and Carlos makes no move to exit the car once he’s parked. TK watches as he curls his hands tightly around the steering wheel, the muscles in his forearms visibly flexing, even in the dim evening light.

“I think they said I should ice my side as soon as I get home,” TK finally says after what feels like an hour of sitting in silence. Carlos jumps, turning to look at him. His expression is hard to read, but TK sees a storm of emotions in his boyfriend’s brown eyes, and it causes his heart to beat painfully in his chest.

“Right, yeah,” Carlos says blankly, turning to push his door open. TK doesn’t move, watching as Carlos circles around the car to open the passenger door. They don’t speak as Carlos holds out his hand, helping TK out of the car and up the front path to the front door. 

He breathes through the slight discomfort in his side as Carlos sorts through his keys, unlocking his apartment and ushering TK inside. He immediately moves towards the couch, sinking slowly down onto the cushions while Carlos passes through to the kitchen. TK warily watches as he preps an ice pack, trying to gauge how best to break the ice that currently separates them.

Carlos comes back into the living room, handing the ice pack to TK and reaching for the pillows at the far end of the couch. He silently places them around TK, ensuring that he’s properly supported, before moving over to the armchair and taking a seat. 

“You know, you could’ve just taken me to my dad’s house if you didn’t want me here,” TK says, his own frustration growing as the minutes pass. Carlos looks directly at him for the first time in what feels like forever, his brown eyes wide as he stares at him.

“I never said I didn’t want you here,” he replies, his voice smaller than TK thought it would be based on his previous scowl.

“Well, you’re sure not being very welcoming,” TK grits out, giving his boyfriend a hard stare.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Carlos fires back sarcastically, his eyebrow arched, “my boyfriend was in the hospital today, so I’m just feeling a little off.”

“Why are you acting like this is a big deal, Carlos? I’m fine,” TK sighs, rolling his eyes dramatically. 

“Of course you are,” Carlos mutters, shifting forward to place his elbows on his knees, looking down at the floor. “You’re always fine.”

“And you’re usually much more comforting, so I don’t get what your problem is right now,” TK snarks. 

“You’re right, TK,” his boyfriend snaps, his voice louder and harsher than TK has ever heard it. “I’m usually scared out of my mind, or at least I have been the past five times you’ve been in the hospital since we started dating!”

“I have a high-risk job, of course I get hurt sometimes!”

“You get hurt so often because you’re reckless!”

TK’s jaw snaps shut, his heart hammering in his chest as he reels back. Carlos gives him a hard look, his chest rising and falling as he breathes heavily. 

“Getting shot was not my f--”

“You know I’m not talking about you getting shot, Tyler!” Carlos cries, jumping to his feet. TK watches as he paces in front of the TV, his boyfriend’s agitation rolling off of him in waves. 

“I’m talking about you tearing your stitches when you were supposed to be taking it easy. I’m talking about you getting a concussion because you took your helmet off before clearing a site. Or running up a flight of stairs before making sure that they were safe, and then falling through and bruising your ribs!

TK rises from the couch, tossing the ice pack to the side, his blood boiling from hearing all of  his failures from the past two months.

“It’s my job to save people, Carlos, you know that!”

“You can’t save anyone if you seriously hurt yourself, Tyler.”

“So, what?” TK snaps, throwing his arms in the air. “Are you reprimanding me? Are you saying I’m bad at my job? What do you want from me, Carlos?”

“I want you to care about your own damn life sometimes, TK!”

Carlos’s words ring throughout the room as they both stare at one another, TK trying to figure out what the hell is going on right now. In the months that they’ve been together, they’ve never raised their voices at one another. They’ve actually been disgustingly cheesy, to the point of vomit-inducing, if Judd is to be believed. TK knew that a fight was bound to happen; they’re both such passionate individuals who care very deeply about things. He just never expected it to be following an injury. 

The silence goes on for too long, and before TK can respond, Carlos breaks it. 

“Do you know that I still have trouble sleeping sometimes when you work a night shift?” he starts, and TK’s heart sinks, wondering where Carlos is going with this. “I’ll dream about you laying in that hospital bed, after you got shot, not knowing if you’ll survive, and when you’re not there next to me when I wake up, it takes me a while to remember that you made it through that.”

An emptiness crawls through TK at Carlos’s confession, his mind racing as fast as his heart as he pictures Carlos waking up by himself, terrified that he’s lost TK forever. He doesn’t remember being shot or his short coma, but that doesn’t mean that no one else does. He never even expected it to still be on Carlos’s mind; he’s certainly never mentioned it before.

“And I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty,” Carlos continues, bringing his hand up to rub at his temple. “I just need you to know that every time I get a call or a text saying that you’re in the hospital, a part of me wonders if I’m ever going to get to see you again.”

TK moves a step closer, twisting his fingers together for something to do. This conversation has gotten so much bigger than he thought it would.

“Carlos, you know I understand that,” TK starts, his voice small between them. “I grew up with this, so I get what you’re going through. I guess I just thought you were okay with it because of your own job.”

Carlos gives a nod, turning away a moment. TK stares at his profile, watching the way he clenches his jaw as he bites his bottom lip, the tense set of his shoulders, the way his hands ball into fists. He recognizes that his boyfriend is trying to ground himself, and it’s best to give him his space to do it -- which is why he’s not expecting it when Carlos suddenly turns to look at him again, his eyes now shining with tears.

“Can I hold you for a minute?” he asks quietly, his voice cracking on a sob.

TK doesn’t respond; instead, he cuts across the room, ignoring the twinge of his bruised ribs, to fold himself into Carlos’s strong arms. His boyfriend all but collapses against him, the tension and anger finally dissipating as he holds TK close, ducking down to press his face into his neck, near TK’s pulse point. 

They stay like that for a moment, allowing their actions to speak for them. TK rubs his hands up and down Carlos’s back, soothing him. His mind is still trying to sort through the past ten minutes and everything that they admitted to. Even though they’ve only been dating for a little while, TK feels confident enough in them that he knows what Carlos said without actually saying it. 

He pulls away slightly to take his boyfriend’s face in his hands, rubbing away the tears that have fallen on his cheeks. They look into each other’s eyes, brown meeting green, and TK finds the confidence to push forward.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, babe,” he says, making sure that Carlos understands how much he means it. “And I’m for not realizing how much this was all affecting you.”

“No, I’m sorry, Ty,” Carlos starts. “You got hurt today, and instead of being there for you, I was an asshole.”

“I’m glad we talked about this, though,” TK admits, plastering on a small smile. “Look, injuries are going to be a part of this relationship. If it’s not me getting hurt, it could be you. We’re going to have to find a way to deal with them.

“And I know I can be reckless, I know I can get myself into trouble. I’m working on it, I promise.”

Carlos looks away for a moment, his shoulders rising as he takes a deep breath in and out. 

“I know you can be hot-headed sometimes, TK, it was the entire topic of conversation on our first date.”

“Hey!” TK exclaims, pulling back a bit to level his boyfriend with an affronted look. 

“Am I wrong?” Carlos asks, nodding when TK doesn’t contest it. “I didn’t think so. I guess it’s just different, the consequences feel bigger now, and more personal.”

TK takes Carlos’s hands in his, bringing them up to his mouth to press a kiss to his knuckles. 

“I get that, I do,” he assures him. “It feels bigger for me, too, what you face every time you’re on patrol.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” TK nods, stepping close again. He looks up slightly, taking in Carlos’s open expression. “This thing we have here, it means a lot to me, and I’d really like to hang on to you for a long time.”

Carlos closes his eyes, a bright smile taking over the bottom half of his face. The sight of it makes TK’s heart beat faster, the love he has for this man threatening to overwhelm him.

So, he decides to let it.

“Hey,” he whispers softly, watching as Carlos’s eyelashes flutter, his warm brown irises reappearing. It’s breathtaking. 

“I love you, Carlos.”

Carlos practically melts in front of him, a bright sparkle appearing in his eyes as his smile widens even further. Then, he’s pressing forward, connecting their lips in a kiss made impossible by their shared grins. To TK, it’s still perfect in every way.

“I love you, too, TK,” Carlos breathes out when they separate, pressing their bodies together in a tight hug.

TK lets the joy of hearing those words consume him, holding tight to the man he loves more than he’s ever loved anyone before as tears start to fall from his eyes. 

He knows that he’ll do everything in his power to keep coming home to Carlos, and that they’ll build a long and happy life around their love and commitment to one another.

He believes in them.