#almost more of my life smoking than not. hard to quit just bc i just crave the routine and the sameness

[milkweedman]

Things recently. That damn commission scarf is taking up almost all my time recently, but there is finally light at the end of the tunnel (im working on stripe 11 of 17, and promised to have it all done by the 14th... which means a little walkin around money for the fiber festival on the 15th >:) very excited).

Have been experimenting with the dutch oven, bc ive never used one and its very small. Liking the results though.

Also have been frequenting the farmer stall at the nursery down the street and got a few of the last of this years peaches, which resulted in two jars of very nice peach jam and a small jar of peach syrup, which my sister is gonna take for a chicken of the woods and waffles feast her friend is doing next week. Had some of the excess jam on some poppyseed bread toast and it was very good--light and tart and summery. The plan for this winter is lots of bread and jam and welsh cakes and barmbrack and pirozhkiy. Looking forward to it somewhat, altho i have a feeling its going to be a very cold winter this year. Also, not sure if i should plant the leeks right now so we can harvest some baby ones in the winter... my sister is obsessed with the idea of glamorgan sausages and it would be nice to try with leeks from the garden...

[elixrr]

Simpy Xiao One-Shot

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Semi-ooc Xiao x GN!Reader

Synopsis... Xiao confesses his love to you. A brainrot that's been rotting my brain, but it's just Xiao trying his best with you to confess, but fails and succeeds in the same time.

Author's note... Xiao has been occupying my brain since 2021. This is not okay, but I'm not complaining bc I love Xiao from the bottom of my idiot heart <3

Warnings... None, really. Just tooth-rotting fluff from stupidly cute brainrots I've had of him (mwahahahahhaa) oh, but also angst if you squint just hard enough that your eyes are quite literally closed. Oh, and a mini argument :')

“Xiao,” he heard you. He heard you— your voice, it rings within his head, from side to side to kiss on both his ears. Your voice was always meaningful to him. He could almost get lost in it, the way the syllables would be spelled out so greatly from you like a—

“Xiao?” You spoke once more, louder and clearer than before. Ah. He got lost in the thought of you again. Swiftly, with a flashy smoke of teal and black, he arrived right by your side, where he wanted to stay.

“You called?” Despite his words, he already knew why you called. It's always for the same reasons. To spend time with him. To do things with him. To be with him.

“Of course I did. What days do I not?”

Xiao tried to recount the days in which you've never even uttered his name. How many years ago was that? It's almost astounding how many years you've been friends with him at this point.

But it's almost as astonishing that he hasn't even confessed his love for you yet.

But never mind that, Xiao cleared his hazy mind full of fond memories with you, who replaces every other memory of his karmic debt, the agonizing presence of death that continues to pry at his sanity each passing day.

But you replenish all of that. His lost dreams, his lost hopes, and his lost world. You returned all of that to him, replenished and renewed. You, it's always you. You, who—

“Xiao, is something the matter?” You tangled his hair around your finger. The closeness had his face flushed with the pink of a peony. “You've been quite out of it lately.”

“I– I'm..?” Fine. Fine is what he wanted to say. But the words died down in his throat. All he could focus on was your features up close. You've been his friend for so long, but it's rare for you to get close to him, let alone come into contact with him. He's nervous, not just because physical contact with him is outright dangerous, but because you're just– just to close to him, and you don't even pay an ounce of attention to that. You're toying with his hair so naturally, as if it's nothing special, like it's nothing out of the ordinary— like you two were dating.

Oh, what a fantasy that would be. Xiao's hand intertwined with yours, laying in a field of grass and blooming flowers, you blabbering on about anything and everything, just like you always do. But this time, maybe you'd hug him. Run a finger or a few through his hair. Maybe you'd even kiss him. Or even do that thing that humans would do on the occasion out in the open, that thing called “cuddling”. Xiao blushes at the thought. You're already so close to him, but if you were even closer, arms wrapped around him, snuggled oh-so close? He could hardly take the thought without feeling weak to the knees.

“You're...? Okay, so, you're clearly not fine, if you were going to say that. So, here. Sit down with me, you can tell me what's happening in that restless life you've got there.” You, with a soft and low voice, whispered into his ear.

“O– Okay.” Xiao sat himself down right next to you, albeit a little closer than he intended, but still close nonetheless. Damnit, he hopes deep down and past his adeptal bones that you don't suspect a thing about him liking you.

“Alright, so something is up. If you're comfortable, you can tell me. I'm all ears.”

“Your invitation is tempting,” Xiao weens with an internal scoff, all while slipping his gaze elsewhere. “But I can't tell you anything.”

“You shouldn't need to know that I...” Ah. He let that part slip out. Albeit in a blushful whisper, but he could only pray to Rex Lapis that you didn't actually hear that.

Oh, but of course you did.

“Well, we've been friends for, like, forever! Or, uh, my forever, but you get the gist of it. Xiao, if something's wrong, you know you could tell me, I—”

“BUT WHAT IF I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU?!”

Xiao bellowed at you, having you flinch at the sudden response. That was unintentional, as told by the way he covered his mouth with his hand and the way his golden wide eyes would stare at you, heavy with guilt.

“Oh. Well, if you can't tell me, then I shouldn't pry on it. Sorry about that.”

“I– no, I should apologize. I didn't... mean to..”

Woah, wait. What's going on?

Xiao got quiet. The words, once more, were killed down his throat. He needed to get out of there quickly. But he couldn't teleport— he couldn't think of where to go at that moment, he envisioned a scornful look on your face when you stared at him. Do you hate him now? Will you suddenly give up on him? He just can't accept that, not after he found out that he was in love. He can't go back now, he realizes. He can't be used to the cold loneliness anymore, you've become a part of his life, a major part, he can't let go now! Why, oh why?! Why did he–

“Hey. Shh. Xiao, hey. I'm not mad, I'm not upset.”

Xiao opened his eyes. Everything was glassy and blurred. He rubbed his eyes— tears stained his gloves. Was he crying? In front of you? He tried to turn away, but then he felt your arms wrap around him delicately, like he was as fragile as glass. How could he escape now? You enveloped him in your arms, and he knows it's obvious that he's calmed down after that.

“Please... Don't go. Don't leave yet, I— I love you too much to let you go.”

He didn't mean for that last part to slip out, but even so, he nearly fell unconscious under your arms, feeling them squeeze around him as he confessed. Still. Of all times, why now? Why, when he's most vulnerable in your arms?

“It's okay, it's okay. You know, I love you too. I always have, but I never guessed those feelings were returned.” You took his hand in yours and smiled, looking into his soft, loving, yet teary eyes.

“Of course they were returned. I loved you for so long, I... didn't even know it.” Xiao's eyes stared back into yours, your tender eyes full of honesty. His hand squeezing yours slightly, a gesture to show that all his words were true. He watched your other hand wipe his remaining tears away, and he smiled.

Xiao smiled for you.

“Then... May I?” Xiao's face flushed a bright rosey red, seeing you inch closer and closer to him, filling in the gap of air that lay between you two.

Xiao stuttered, his heart screamed yes, but his head was going into overdrive and he didn't know what to say. Even if he did, there's no way he could form a sentence now.

But you waited. Your lips, slightly parted, were only centimeters from his own, awaiting his consent.

“P– please. Do so.”

And you crashed your lips into his, and as if roses bloomed beneath you both in place of the Inn's roof, he was dropped into eternal bliss.

Likes, reblogs, and shares are appreciated! <3

[enaspaces]

my shuri headcanons 𓃠

a dump of my thoughts because i love her and she’s taken over my mind

• on the trans/nonbinary spectrum. more specifically a demigirl and doesn’t care what pronouns you use on him. owns a binder for specific days that she wants her chest to look flat.

• very lesbian. her heart is for women and non-men 🏳️‍🌈

• i view her as a stud or a stem. it depends on how i’m feeling atm.

• she’s not just a nerd in the science sense she’s a huge fandom geek and has a stan twitter account to talk about her interests.

• also has fan edits of her favorite characters and interests saved on her phone. probably makes her own edits too.

• average minecraft enjoyer (she’s obsessed)

• reads a lot of wlw comics, novels, and other media bc they’re a gay ass.

• has AuDHD, argue with ur mama.

• is almost always seen wearing noise cancelling headphones or earbuds because she gets overstimulated at times. when she visits riri in chicago for the first time, the constant loud city noise is something he’s not used to. he had forgot to pack the headphones he made for himself so riri makes him a custom made pair to help him relax. they end up using riri’s more than their own. (riri indulgently put small cat ears on the top of them and shuri almost cried at the sight).

• catgirl energy. riri may make her look tall but that’s still a 5’5 girl twink that stopped growing at age 13. she’s small and likes to sit on counters, lab tables, the floor and any other weird place that’s not meant to be sat on. she curls up in a ball when she sleeps alone, and if she’s in the bed with someone else her limbs are all over their body. has cute sounding sneezes that m’baku makes fun of her for. one of the lab workers once found her asleep in a random corner of the room. naturally very light-footed and basically has human toe beans, making it very easy to sneak up on people without them hearing.

• has quite a few fidget toys to help her focus on work in the lab and ease her anxiety. a rubik’s cube, fidget spinners, stress ball, pop its, etc.

• she stims. so much. especially after she successfully completes a task or experiment and she’ll do a dance or do the lil hand flapping thing. her vocal stims are always random song lyrics or tiktok meme audios lol.

• has a sweet tooth. when okoye was a dora she’d occasionally bring candy or other sweets for her to snack on. riri goes to the store and buys him all the popular american snacks for him to try. nakia always has a mini stash prepared for when they visit her and toussaint in haiti.

• favorite color is purple. it just suits her.

• a GAMER™. she plays all genres but her favs are probably minecraft, puzzle, or rhythm games. did i mention minecraft? she loves it. riri loves rpgs and pvp games the most and has her play smash bros ultimate pretty often. they’re super competitive with each other and both sore losers lmao. shuri got her to play minecraft once and riri kept getting blown up by creepers.

• ↑ she becomes super close with mj, ned, and vivian through riri. they’re always on discord vc together playing games and doing many other things and it’s the most chaotic shit you’ve ever seen.

• if the word ticklish was personified. simply elbowing her in the stomach on accident would get a giggle outta her. every ticklish spot she has is extremely sensitive and you could have her curled up cackling in tears with ease.

• funny as hell for no reason. life of the party fr. she takes her jokester persona very seriously but sometimes she’s hilarious without even trying. the first time she ever smoked weed was with riri in her dorm and riri never laughed so hard in her life that day. shuri was literally all over the place. she’s definitely a lightweight too, just as goofy, giggly, and clingy in her drunken state.

• definitely likes kpop girl groups. I can’t prove it but they love loona you just have to trust me.

• also loves vocaloid and has a hatsune miku figure in her room somewhere. trust me on that.

• has a list of favorite black american artists. riri definitely put her on some r&b classics and less mainstream artists. has a massive celebrity crush on black women rappers.

• music taste is very versatile. her playlist has almost everything. she just can’t listen to one genre only, she’s too open minded and exploratory for that.

• he’s not one to fall in love easily, but when he does he falls hard. riri was the first person he ever fell for and it changed the trajectory of his life, poor thing had no idea what to do with that information.

• a romantic, lovesick loser. cannot flirt to save his life. flustering him is so fucking easy lmao. riri once called him shawty and he malfunctioned for 5 minutes. whenever he’s on the phone with riri his crush is genuinely so obvious to everyone around him. he be giggling and cheesing real hard 😭. kicking his feet squealing on the bed when he’s alone thinking about the cute nickname riri called him.

• her love language is acts of service and gift giving. she’s not always good with words or emotions so she expresses her appreciation towards her loved ones by distributing her wealth in many ways. buying riri things she might need for college, fixing stuff that breaks in nakia’s home. things like that.

• has trouble being vulnerable with those close to her. she’s lost so much, so opening up to new people is always a scary, big step. it took a while for her to let mj, ned, and viv into her heart because the closer she becomes with them, the more it’ll hurt if she loses them. they take her in with open arms regardless, because having a support system with people her age is something she needs. they take her seriously in ways that the elders don’t. they see her for who she is outside of being a royal figure to her country and allows her to be her full, authentic, geeky self. she’s able to grasp onto the youth that she almost lost when her family was taken away.

• very talkative. can infodump about an interest for hours and completely lose track of time if you let them. they cannot stay still when excited, nor can they keep eye contact, pacing around the room and darting their eyes everywhere while rambling about the history of vibrainium or something.

• maladaptive daydreaming. will lose herself in a song and start imagining scenarios in her head. t’challa once caught her in the act and refused to delete the video footage. sometimes, she pulls up the video her brother recorded just to hear his laughter in the background.

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

deaf y/n x kirishima fluff? Y/n getting made fun of cuz she cant pronounce words properly?

-shuu

Omg this is so cute I loved writing this <3

Do I want to make this an entire fic with separate parts and everything? Absolutely I do sjjabekbfbd weewgwggegwheheb plspslpslslsls cus it's gonna be so good and ah- 😩😫 cus no because like omg and I made the reader sorta like toph from atla but really- just bc of the heightened senses and sensitivity to vibrations and omganakdnnd my midoriya brain went OFF on this maksnjdbf and omg I imagine reader would be BESTIES with mei hatsume najwobdjsn and omg Bakugou as well??? Reader would absolutely gain his blessing to be kirishimas gf and they would be thick as thieves- a trio of doom, you will, and omg I have so many ideas about reader helping bkg to protect his hearing BC she wouldn't want to see a friend suffer the same fate, and nansjdnbd Kiri only loves her more bavjsbfnd bye bc midoriya would love to come up with ideas for mei to help reader and sndnfknd bye

Anyway hope you enjoy :D

Warning: Ableism...

Masterlist <3

Kirishima x Deaf!Reader- Hearing Problems

You had lost your hearing a long, long time ago, but that doesn't make it much easier on you in the long run.

You had the kind of hearing problem that rendered you almost completely dead, save for the grating tinnitus that followed with every step.

It was almost always a problem for you, and had almost left you completely incapable of being a hero. Imagine having all control over your life stripped from you because of some dumb fuck's drunken driving. It filled you to the brim with rage every single day, along with the fact that you were punished for someone else's mistake when they only had their licence taken away.

It did more than make you angry, really. It fucking broke your heart. You almost lost access to your dream after he permanently disabled you, and what did he get? A slap on the fucking wrist?! This must be some sick joke.

You had tried your absolute damnest to adjust and get stronger to compensate for the loss of a pretty vital function, and it worked! In the end, you turned out stronger than ever. You had trained every sense you could learn about, because as it turns out, there's more than just six of them, and all of your exhaustive, mind-numbing hard work had been repaid.

Of course you weren't the best, yet, but you could absolutely beat some ass if you wanted to, and during the entrance exam, you did exactly that.

Things were going so well, and you were racking up points like no other, until you weren't.

You were having a little trouble with finding the other robots because they were quite a ways away. Luckily though, Kirishima could tell you might've needed a hand.

He could see that you didn't react to sound the way that others did, and it was when the high pitched ring of a far off explosion made everyone flinch but you, that he could finally tell you were deaf.

His eyes widened and his mouth formed a little 'o' shape as his brain finally connected the dots, and he made his way to you with a smile as he spoke normally to you, still not sure if maybe you were just partially deaf or could maybe read lips or something.

Meanwhile, all you could hear was that same high pitched ringing of tinnitus, which drowned out the similar effect of the explosion, and you were starting to get frustrated with wondering which way to go. There was no telltale smoke, or faraway sparks of people fighting. There was only silence. So you were especially surprised when this fiery looking ravenet walked up to you, speaking normally. You assumed he didn't know you were deaf, and you read his lips as normal, however his suspicions were confirmed when he saw the direction in which your eyes were focused. So you do read lips.

Surprisingly, he was leading you towards the action. Oh. Maybe he could tell you were deaf.

It was nice to have someone know that and not give you the same pitying look they always do. You wanted to be respected, not pitied. This guy seemed to respect you though, and you were thankful as you followed him to the next gathering of robots, letting out a loud "t-thank you-!" when you saw someone side-eye you and laugh.

You didn't like the snide look on their face at all.

"What? Are you deaf or something? I've never heard someone speak like that! You must've lost some braincells to these robots. You'll never pass if you sound like a total idiot!"

Comments like these never ceased to make your heart ache and bring a lump to your throat. It'll never get any easier to deal with comments like this.

It's not like you were gonna let him see your hurt though, so just as you make a step to tear him a new one, you're interrupted by Kirishima, who didn't want to see you disqualified for beating another kid half to death.

"That's really not cool, man! Have you heard yourself talk? You sound like someone's bigoted grandpa- I hope your mother smacks some respect into that ugly head of yours soon, because you'll be the one who never makes it as a hero with talk like that! Heroes are supposed to be actually good people, you know? Buzz off!"

Both you and that ableist prick are stunned into silence, and you can't help but smile as you read his lips and see his condescending glare. Secretly, you thank whatever Gods you can think of that your little emo friend seems like a truly respectable guy, and as the two of you pair up for the exam, you find that you work relatively well together for two rookie kids that have never met.

The judges watch on from behind the cameras and smirk as they blacklist the ignorant kid from passing, though he was running rather low on points in the first place. None of them are surprised either, when the two of you gain points placing you among the top scores. It seems like you both were fated to be friends.

When the exam is over, you end up exchanging numbers with your favourite little red-eyed emo, learning that his name is Kirishima Eijirou. And when he flashes you a smile that you would die for, your little heart melts right there and then as light pink dusts your cheeks.

You put your name in his phone in silence, and send a message to confirm that you wrote your number down right, thanking him for standing up for you.

You find you're quite pleased with yourself when he develops a bashful blush too. Oh yeah, you're definitely not letting him go, even if one of you doesn't make it to UA.

[ah0yh0y]

The alhaven ask game thing:

Epiphany!

ohhhhh epiphanyyyyy thats a hard one simply becuase there is so much i could talk about . warning this is long

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there's individual character epiphanies - like the fact that Fate doesnt truely dictate your actions, and that horrible events in your past don't dictate what the rest of your life will be like (mordred , morgana respectively) {this theme i think is most prevalent in We Were Villains (Weep for me)}.

on a lighter note - there's ari's epiphany that she hadn't told zach yes to the whole platonic marriage thing in first snow. i always found that funny like she's just WE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT THIS????

(these are are all on my ao3 btw my username is writetype but you have to be logged in to see them)

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in terms of plot points i think my favourite one (and probably the best fit for this prompt) is the camping trip, set during the main cast's teen years (zoe's 19/20 , zach's like 17 , will's also 17 and aimee is 15) - for context before this point the family is fractured - aimee and zoe's mother {morgana} died around two years previous and aimee really hates zoe for not being there for her (zoe's was struggling before this but now is trying her best to reconnect with her sister , aimee is.. resentful) zach hates his cousin , will , seeing him as an intrusion bc they are FINE GODDAMIT WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. the adults are trying but they are spread thin (especially with inflation and grief and such). tensions are starting to thaw though a bit but still threatening to yknow explode

and so when they finally get that one week off around christmas - what better way to spend it than CAMPING WOO.

and its that traditional thing of everything is going to shit but along the way , through broken shopping carts and getting lost in ditches and climbing trees and the lack of mosquito repellent , they bond a bit . and the breathing space becomes wider and gazes are cooler. it kinda feels remincent of those nights where they used to bring out sparklers and write their names in air , its looking at the remains of them smoking , orange bright , but instead of feeling the brand of when you couldn't stop stepping on leftovers , searing your barefoot in a grisly crevice - its just feeling content. being quenched by the outside tap. its not all gone , the water still makes you itch all over funny but - its better.

its not quite a massive epiphany, more a realisation but is one of my favourite moments still

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i think the most important epiphany for me in terms of alhaven - is my own . i used to (and still do in some moments) feel bad for the unrealisticness of alhaven and the fact it was all fluffy and very badly worldbuilt. it didn't feel like a serious story like the ones that my friends would write about , the ones you see in novels . the dead come back to life , some ocs become famous ish , there's swords and historical costumes readily accessible and cheap. alhaven as a town has a kebab shop even tho its technically in the middle of nowhere, dragons , aimee grows up to host a bookish gameshow thing . murder most unladylike the netlifx adaptation exists - and alot of the story is just about the mundane . (also coupled with the fact alhaven is also the paracosm amplified things - like its my daydream world for goddam sakes)

but like the biggest epiphany for me that even if it didn't feel serious - this story was serious, to me. fluff content and the mundane wasn't a lesser form of writing - it wasn't cringe. it made me feel happy and thats all it really needed to be for it to be important. for it to matter. for it to be worthy.

alhaven has been with me for almost more than 6 years now , and to feel ashamed of it feels like a disservice to that younger me , happily writing harry potter , bbc merlin and percy jackson cross over fic with a green pen at 11pm at night.

its probably one of the epiphanies im most grateful for actually.

[golbrocklovely]

Ive been in the fandom since the vine days and let me just say that I don’t understand why Sam has never been shipped with ANYONE except Colby pre-Katrina. They would go to these creator things and it was always what viner is next to Colby, never Sam. There was one girl who was their friend and waaay cuddlier with Sam but people only saw Colby. Even before he introduced kat you’d catch her in the back of peoples videos and postings and people suspected but didnt care. Once he did introduce her people didnt like her, but again the attention wasnt as big until they moved into the traphouse because he barely showed her at all. I know Sam is closed off but i feel he hold more tea than Colby so can we manifest chaos from Sam lol because what is that boy really about.

idk if this will make sense, but the air of mystery that colby seems to have is actually very much present with sam. sam is mysterious, colby just claims to be, you know what i mean? while a lot of the stuff i know about colby isn't the full story, i can at least maybe piece some stuff together, make some assumptions that sound close to reality, and come up with a non-canon version of him in my head, so to speak. but sam…. different ball game. that man is a phantom. you don't see him coming or going. i know literally nothing about him, and it is quite infuriating.

that being said, i don't even know what chaotic sam would look like. cause even drunk sam isn't that crazy. sure, he dances on tables or joins twerking competitions mid-cruise, but none of that is really all that crazy. i was saying this to someone not too long ago, but i don't even think that man has done any hard drugs. like, the worse drug he's probably taken is when he broke his back. i don't think this man even smokes weed! he's probably tried it once or twice, but like… that's it.

i know you're more asking about his dating life, but if i were to make an assumption about his overall personal life: i think sam is closed off bc he doesn't know who he is. i think he's never really been in touch with his emotions, which is something he's tweeted about a couple times before, and bc of that he doesn't really know how to express himself. i think he wants others to like him a lot, so for years he's tried to fit in a box that marks off what ppl expect from him. and when he himself grows tired of that box, he tries to find a new one that fits the newer image ppl want him to be.

i think that's why sometimes some of the things he says can seem a bit out of place. like prime example is when he's talked about wanting to move to mexico and just go learn the language naturally, or just randomly leave and go to a different country and surround himself in the culture. while those are great aspirations to have, he never includes colby or kat in those travels. he's doing them solo, without them. and that feels… weird. or in the worst way, selfish. bc we're so used to him being in a duo situation, whether it's snc or him and kat. he's always with someone. and we've been told again and again that he's a good friend and he's a good boyfriend. but a good friend or boyfriend wouldn't just up and leave their best friend or girlfriend behind. but, i don't think in these situations he's being selfish. i think this is him actually expressing himself for the first time outside of the box we think he checks off.

weirdly, and i was just thinking about this as i was writing this out, while colby loves being by himself and getting his alone time away from ppl, he can't actually be alone. he wouldn't be able to survive being completely alone. i mean, even just living in a different apartment almost sent him into a hermit spiral. that man wouldn't get off his couch for days sometimes, and that in itself is a topic for a whole other ask. but sam, i legitimately believe, could go live on his own away from everyone he cares about and be fine. i honestly think if he did that, it might put a lot of things into perspective for him. maybe he realize how deeply he cares for the ppl around him, or how maybe their opinions matter more than the others he's been trying to please.

and as for his love life, prior to kat of course, idk. that's even more shrouded in mystery than his actual personality so… god knows what he was like.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw racism, transphobia, fatphobia, all that kinds of stuff, with examples

My mom has become all of that.

She's always been... idk somewhat of all of that. Very selective racist (it is wild, ngl) and a bit fatphobic.

But it has become worse. I guess because her life has become worse, she's developed MS and, you know, racism & co are middle age ppls favorite coping mechanism. Plus she has zero internet competence and every whatsapp chain letter is fact.

And it is sooo wild, like, she's an ally for gay ppl and binary trans ppl, since forever. But since non-binary is becoming more present, she's very transphobic against them. (Which sucks because I am non-binary but ok, I don't need her validation).

She's become super fatphobic, she's watching those wedding dress shows a lot and always commenting on ppls weight in hateful ways "Oh, you are too fat for that!" "You can't wear that with your fat arms!!" etc. I mean, may fat ppl not have a pretty wedding dress? (It hurts too bc, guess what, I am fat). She also visiting a lot of doctors to get new meds because she believes (imagines) that hers made her fat (they didn't). For the same reason she doesn't quit smoking though she doesn't even like it.

But her racism is the wildest! So she said, a few days ago, that Arabic immigrants (not refugees but second or third generation) get more and easier money from the state because (!) the state is so racist that they don't believe immigrants are smart enough to work, so they get everything for free (????).

That's factual bs, it is long known that the state (or at least the ppl who work for the state) are racist.

!!My mom works for the state!!! She's the best example!??!

I live in Europe and we are having a lot of Ukrainian refugees and did have a lot of mainly Syrian refugees in the past. My mom worked in a refugee home back then and really liked the Syrian ppl (so they are now outside her racism-spectrum) but they've been treated a lot worse than the Ukrainian ones today (another good example of the racism of our state) which leads my mom to now hate the Ukranian refugees and believing, they get everything for free. A few days ago she said "Oh, I'd really love to be a Ukrainian".

(I had a very, very hard time not telling her, that I could easily let a cement block fall onto her head, for the real Ukranian feeling.)

She also hates all Eastern European ppl but that's common amongs ppl her age. When my dad found out that his dad was from Poland (long kept secret) she was enlightened because finally she had a reason why "this marriage could've never worked".

So yeah. That's her racism in a nutshell. She's fine with everyone else though and doesn't mind immigrants. She's also not proud to be from state X. She just hates some ppl. She also often defends foreign/foreign looking ppl from the racism of her colleagues or tells her colleagues that they talk racist bs.

You know, she's always so half/half. Binary trans ppl yeah, non binary trans ppl, nay. Some racism yeah, some nay. And until like two years ago, she was almost only yeah. She was only very limited racists and not transphobic since there were no non binary trans ppl in her world.

And it is super hard because she is very abusive and I have cptsd and she kicked me out once when I dared to argue with her and I was homeless for a year so I can't just tell her, she's talking absolute bullshit. I try to say "Oh, well I don't think so", you know, subjective, but that only leads her to yell her opinion out even louder. I mean, she never believes what I say. I could state mathematical facts and they'd become untrue because they came from my mouth. But I am not okay with this and she's also outside of home very loud with her hurtful opinions and it hurts me that ppl (who are affected) may hear her and I can't defend them for my own safety.

Ah yeah, and why I write this: As I said, I have cptsd, which was misdiagnosed for depression when I was younger so many therapists, some clinics until the diagnose and the forbiddance of my mom to continue seeing a therapist (bc she felt this was going to be about her). So I am unpatiently waiting for the day I can move out and visit a therapist. And a few days ago she said "Well, I don't quite believe in therapy. I think that's not scientific and bs. Who knows who they really work for?". And I was like, excuse me?? Psychology not being a science?

And, idk my mom has some mental issues of her own (not because of the written above text but because:) she always forgets stuff easily, even stuff she says, she changes her opinion pretty frequently, i can't just use "last week you said X" as an argument because she already forgot it and will believe I lied. Plus, she's hard of hearing. So, our conversations are... Something. But she expects them (and I believe enjoys) for two hours daily and I need to keep my sleeping spot so..

Yeah, my mom and her fat, leftist, enby, partially polish child with cptsd.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry you have to put up with all of that.

It sounds like your mom has some pretty inflammatory takes that personally affect you as a member of the demographics she villainizes.

It would be interesting to see what would happen with malicious compliance, being that you pretended to not only agree but take it to an extreme that perhaps she may not even agree with, just for her to recognize the slope she's slipping down (I do this to people sometimes). It may not work and it may not even be safe to do so, but if opposing her is causing problems, then I wonder what would happen if you played along.

Either way, it sounds like it's a very heavy task to put up with your mom and I commend you for handling it as well as you have.

You are valid.

I hope you're doing alright. Please let us know if you need anything, or if there's anything we can do to help.

-Bun

[sothischickshe]

15, 18, & 36 pls :D

ty sweetie! 😘

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

not frequently ever & probs not at all since i was a student; no im a bookmarker & i smoke so i generally always have a scrap of card or paper; yes. um bc why would you, why would you, & why wouldnt you. and no i don't really judge on the first two, books are made to be read!! i might get judgey if it was MY book if it was a special pristine copy (more over the writing in than dog earing). and YES, yes we can 😊

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

ooof! Choices 🤯 OK, I'm going to go for the opening scene of do you like drugs (tonight) bc it wasn't there to start with!

I've unearthed the Notebook, where the story originally started with the second scene:

I got two pages in before I was like NO -- this was how I'd envisaged the story starting but it didn't feel like it was working, I wanted to peel back and set it up properly (and not have to keep explaining how they got here when I could just start the story a little earlier).

You can see I just gave up with an ellipsis ha:

& then the next page is the real ~asterisked in first scene instead.

I'm going to cheat a bit and not go for the whole scene, and instead pick out a couple of (annie-centric) paras:

i. what eventually became the opening: "“So,” Annie says, shimmying her upper body the oblique way that makes those lengthening waves surge at her shoulders. “Given any more thought to the motorbike?”"

ii. and another one a bit further on: "“How is, uh, Steaming Spas doing?” Annie prolongs, thumbs hooking on belt loops. Something about her stance suggests she’s about to whip an apple from thin air to start chewing slow; as if settling for surveillance, rooted to the ground where she stands in front of the desk."

Which ended up being some of my fave bits & neither of which were really there in the first pass:

You can (maybe?) see 'originally' she was saying that first line with some impressive brow-waggling, then there's an addendum that she's shimmying, moving her hair, and then there's another one that she crunches down on an apple from god knows where, as well as something about annie shimmying (?) with finger guns in the margin. And the whole motorbike thread got added in up top.

I love being able to to throw things down & trust that future me will sort it out 😂🙏 particularly for stuff like motion which can be difficult to capture in words. and I like how the apple eating became theoretical rather than actual! I also like how what was the new opening got split into the first line, and then another bit (13 paras in I make it!) -- collating & splitting is one of my fave parts of editing!

This was quite a hard fic to write, or especially to begin properly, cos it was my first/only promptfill and my mind had been spinning in different directions for how to address it, which made it a different experience to how I normally plan a story, plus I was experiencing growing pains and general hubris re assuming I could knock something short out (instead it's almost 20k).

I also don't think I was originally planning for there to be so much annie, mick, Ruby, stan -- not that there's a huge amount but it was a kinkfest prompt so I was intending for it to be quite narrowly focused. But I actually really like the balance, and particularly the almost bookending of the real life scenes at the beginning and the end (beth + annie at work; Beth talking to Ruby & stan into her getting home) vs the relaxed bubble of the night, as well as the contrast in Beth's povs there re ~relaxing 😊

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

im not sure i agree that it's terrible advice, actually! i think it can be, mm, misapplied/misinterpreted though?

Bc first of all you can learn/know new things!! Research is real!!!

But also bc I tend to think of this as meaning more hm, write the emotional truth? You can put characters in situations you've not experienced and thus might not 'Know' but if you know the emotions they're experiencing, you can know what you're playing with, you know? 🤔

Anyhoo what do I know... A lot of trivia, ~emotional intelligence, how I like to treated as (an) audience, basic re/search skills, the benefits of self/reflection, the word autoscopy

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

[silversatoru]

Ok ok- don’t judge me but get this- College AU, Where Ereh and his friends all go to a nearby maid cafe and turns out his s/o works there, and his s/o is wearing a EXTREMELY short maid outfit and she starts to flirt with Eren’s friends, and basically Eren had enough and dragged his s/o to a bathroom stall, and fucked them calling y/n their little slut, etc. and fucked them so hard they couldn’t work the rest of the day- BYE- 🏃🏻‍♀️ 💨 🚪

maid cafe

a/n: i would never judge you for this???? your mind is incredible and this idea has corrupted my brain for days,, please send more of your wonderful ideas to my inbox. and please let me know what u think bc i truly hope i did u proud

eren yeager x female maid cafe!reader

synopsis: eren and his friends go to a maid cafe and his new girlfriend is their waitress — so he drags her to the bathroom and makes sure she knows who she belongs to

tags/warnings: smut, dom/sub, degrading, mild humiliation, mirror sex, public sex, mentions of drug use

word count: 3.4k

“hey, we should check out that maid cafe downtown. i heard the waitresses are fine,” jean smirked as he proposed the idea, passing a blunt he’d just finished rolling over to eren.

eren graciously accepted the weed, but clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at jean’s new idea for their friday night. a maid cafe wasn’t particularly up his alley -- he’d just started dating you a few weeks ago and didn’t have any interest in drooling over other women all night. but he was bored and if everyone else wanted to go, he supposed he’d tag along too.

“hell yeah, pretty girls in short skirts sounds good to me,” connie jived, a giddy smile on his face as he blew out some smoke from his own blunt.

“don’t you think that kind of place is a little disrespectful, guys? we shouldn’t view women as-”

“you’re too uptight armin, maybe we can find a nice girl to suck you off and loosen you up a little bit” jean laughed and cut him off as the blonde boy continued to give his immature friends a disapproving look.

“whatever i’m in, just let me finish this first,” eren held up his blunt and took another long drag, “i wont be able to stand you assholes all night if im not high”.

the four of them hung around their shared four-bedroom college apartment a little longer, finishing up their smoke sesh and flinging half-assed insults at one another. the sky was already getting dusky by the time they actually left and were walking through the small, bustling town surrounding their campus. the cafe wasn’t too far, maybe a thirty minute walk, but it was a beautiful spring night and shit, gas is expensive.

armin’s face was horribly flushed when they finally arrived and entered the front door, the poor boy completely unable to even make eye contact with the hostess standing in front of them. his shyness earned him a swift elbow from eren — his way of telling the blonde boy to relax a little bit.

the young hostess spoke to them in a sing-song tone, her hair perfectly curled to frame her face and her cheeks pink with blush. connie and jean completely ate up everything she was doing, gawking at her like a bunch of losers who hadn’t gotten laid in way too long �� which is exactly what they were. eren was almost relieved when she finally sat them at a table and walked away, because he couldn’t stand to listen to jeans' horrendous attempt at flirting any longer.

everything on the menu had cute names that matched the theme of the cafe, and while eren and armin browsed the options, connie and jean continued to whisper about the different waitresses and which one they hoped they got.

as for you, it had been a pretty uneventful night, normal customers and nothing too crazy — that was until you walked up to the newest table you were assigned and saw your boyfriend and his friends sitting around the booth. eren and you hadn’t been dating all that long, a few weeks at most, and you hadn’t even met any of these friends yet. anxiety began to pool in your chest, but you tried your best to put on your best voice and greet them like they were any other table — after all, eren was staring so intently at the menu that he hadn't even noticed you yet.

“welcome home, masters! can i get any drinks for you?” you push your voice up to a high octave and make sure to draw out the word masters — it was the opening line that every waitress was required to use by the cafe.

two of the four boys are ogling at you so intensely that they might as well have drool hanging off their desperate lips. a third boy is keeping his eyes fixated on the table as if he doesn’t want to look at you — which is something you’re not quite used to. and eren is staring at you with his mouth gaping open, which he quickly shuts before any of his friends can notice.

he decided to sit back and watch, an amused look on his face as you continue to flaunt your extra-girly facade. he decides that now isn’t a great time for introductions to his bonehead friends — plus he knows you’re nothing like this in real life, so it’s entertaining to watch you act so out of character.

not to mention you look hot as fuck in your skimpy maid outfit — the tight corset-like top hugged your breasts perfectly and your skirt was so short he could practically see the base of your ass cheeks. he could definitely get used to seeing you like this.

but his amusement quickly started to fade as connie and jean shamelessly showered you in compliments and flirted with you like their lives depended on it. and what makes it worse is you’re playing along — he gets that it’s your job but still, can’t you just tell them to shut the fuck up?

he shoots the two idiots across from him a dirty look as soon as you walk away, “hey dumbasses, cut the girl a break”.

“hey man, i didn't hear you call dibs or anything,” connie raised an eyebrow at him.

“yeah dude, we’re just fucking around, chill,” jean added, a light laugh hanging off his last word.

eren couldn’t do anything but roll his eyes in response. he didn’t want to outright expose your relationship yet but he wouldn’t be able sit here and watch this all night either.

his blood was practically boiling when you returned with a tray full of their drinks. connie and jean turned their charms right back on for you, and fuck, if he had to hear you call them “master” one more time he was gonna lose his mind.

“armin get the fuck out of the booth,” he glared at the blonde boy, practically pushing him out of the booth so he could get to you.

armin yet out a small yelp, clambering out of his seat and letting eren climb out after him. the dark haired boy gave you the sweetest smile, but his eyes were lit up like flames.

“hey, mind showing me where the bathrooms are?”

you find yourself frozen in place for just a second, but quickly recover and give him a quick “of course master, follow me!”

the two of you walk to the bathroom in silence, but you can practically feel the heat radiating off of eren.

when you reached the restrooms you opened the door for him and bowed your head, but he grabbed your wrist and yanked you inside behind him, earning a small yelp from you. you noticed him snap the lock down behind him, and before you could even question his motives you were backed into a wall with his lips working roughly against yours.

“so this is what you do all day? walk around with your ass hanging out while calling people master?” he growled in your ear while moving down towards your neck and placing violent kisses along the sensitive skin.

“i- ah- if it bothers you-“ you breath out between gasps, your hands pressed defensively to his chest, “god, you reek of pot, eren”.

“no, it doesn't bother me, i love watching you flirt with other men. but let me remind you who you actually belong to now,” he murmured, voice dripping with sarcasm as he nibbled up to your ear and his hands fondled with the zipper at the back of your uniform.

“eren!” a strangled yelp leapt from your throat as he unzipped you and let your costume fall around your ankles.

for a second you thought about trying to stop him, but his hot lips against your cool skin was starting to win you over. your neck was undoubtedly covered in bruised love marks now, your skin aching in the most beautiful way.

“take it all off,” he mumbled into your ear as he snapped the strap of your bra against your skin.

“we’re in a bathroom eren, i don’t-“ you tried to reason with him, but any inkling of a rational thought was long gone from his mind.

“what’s with all the protests? you had no problem following orders when my friends were the ones giving them,” he cocked an eyebrow at you and lifted his loose shirt over his head in one swift motion.

you could have retorted or made a jab back at him, but your attention was caught up in the perfect lines of eren’s physique. between the sculpted curves of each of his muscles, his dark hair tied in a loose knot at the base of his neck, and the evil smirk across his lips, you were rendered indefensible. everything about eren was so intoxicating, and the idea of letting him have his way with you right now, in this bathroom, was starting to sound less and less like a bad idea. you weren’t sure how long you’d been staring and admiring when his lusty voice filled your ears again.

“did you forget how to use that pretty mouth of yours? i’m sure i can give you a little refresher,” he faked a frown and pointed to the floor with his index finger.

without a shred of reluctance you sunk to his feet. he had you in a state of utter compliance now, and all he had to do was mutter a few arrogant words and take off his shirt — you were almost ashamed, almost.

after a few smooth movements of his fingers against the drawstrings of his sweats, the tip of his member was hanging mere centimeters from your face. you glanced up at him with giant eyes as he stared down at you with his clouded ones. between his raging hunger for your body and the high that was still clouding his mind, there wasn't a single coherent thought in eren’s head other than the way your lips would feel wrapped around his cock.

“open up, princess. if you wanna act like a slut, i’ll treat you like one,” he grabbed the back of your head and forced it forward.

your lips parted without even thinking, and he thrusted his full length down your throat without any warning. you were left coughing and sputtering, the walls of your throat constricting against his cock and sending a few curses from his lips.

he slowed down slightly after that, but kept a steady pace as he mouth-fucked you until tears were leaking down your cheeks. you were gagging and coughing and your face was stained with salty saline but you loved every second of it. his head rolled back as raspy grunts fell from between his teeth, his fist tightening at your scalp.

after he thought you’d finally had enough he pulled back and released your hair from his steel grip. his cock was aching now, coated in a thick layer of your sticky saliva and yearning for more.

“get on the counter,” he ordered, and you scrambled to your feet in a way that was embarrassingly desperate.

you boosted yourself up onto the cool countertop, positioned perfectly between two sinks and leaning back against the mirror. eren placed a firm grip on each of your legs, shoving them open and snickering at the slick patch of fabric between your thighs.

“you like being treated like a whore, don’t you?” he clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and reached down at your panties before yanking them off in one fell swoop.

he squatted down so his face was level with your cunt, sticking out his tongue and dragging it up to your clit with antagonizing slowness. he moved the warm muscle up and down, sliding it between your folds and in circles around your clit — but his tongue was just barely making contact. and every time you bucked your hips towards him, begging and yearning for just a little more he’d pull his head back and click his tongue at you.

you were aching, leaking, and so incredibly needy for him and he knew it. he’d transformed you into the crumpled mess laying before him in a matter of minutes, and he was very proud of it.

“i’d start begging if i were you, or i’ll leave you here like this — a stupid broken slut with no one to fuck her,” he stood up and cocked his head to the side before beginning to tease your entrance with a single finger.

“ah- eren, please! i’ll do whatever you want,” you whimpered at him, a pitiful look on your face.

“eren? you know you’re not supposed to call customers by their name here,” he shook his head, “you’ll have to do better than that”.

“please- master, use me however you want. just please fuck me already”.

that seemed to suffice for eren, because after that it didn’t take long for him to shealth himself inside you and have your sweaty back slamming into the glass mirror behind you. strangled moans and pitiful whimpers slipped from between your lips, your eyes rolling back into your head in complete bliss. he’d teased and tormented you for so long that the sudden intense stimulation was almost too much.

he fucked himself into you so hard you thought you might break — your legs ached and your back hurt from awkwardly leaning into the mirror. but those feelings were quickly pushed to the back of your head because the overwhelming pleasure was so forceful that you could barely focus on anything else. eren’s length was grinding deep into your aching caverns so good that it was completely clouding your brain.

you let out a stifled gasp when he abruptly pulled out, leaving you feeling empty and aching for more.

“why-,” your voice was so destitute and so, so desperate.

“shut up and stand in front of me,” he commanded, pulling you off the counter and twisting you so you were facing the bathroom mirror.

“look at yourself in the mirror and watch me fuck you,” he practically snarled, placing a palm on your back and pushing your chest down against the counter, “look at how much of a slut you are for me”.

the only response that came out of your mouth was a tiny whine of acceptance — it was pathetic.

a breathy moan fell from your lips as he slid back in, and your cheeks blushed a dark shade of red as you watched yourself get fucked from behind. it was embarrassing, humiliating even, having to see yourself like this, but what made it even worse was that you fucking liked it.

“look at yourself,” he nodded towards the mirror, picking up his pace and tightening his grip on your hips, “just a dumb whore who’s good for nothing but taking orders from other people”.

“only- you!” you let out a strangled yelp.

“what was that? i don’t think i heard you,” he thrusted hard, reaching deeper than he had the entire time and then leaning over your back so his head was positioned right next to yours.

“say it again,” he murmured, burning holes through your eyes with how intensely he was staring at you in the mirror.

“i’m a dumb whore, but only for- you,” you repeated, squirming and whining at the painful pleasure he was forcing into you.

“that’s right,” he flashed you a satisfied grin, standing back up and resuming his original pace.

the sudden shift had you clawing at the smooth countertops — desperately wishing you had a pillow or sheet to grasp onto for some kind of support. you flinched when you felt a couple of his cool fingertips find your clit, immediately rubbing hasty circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“i want you to come for me,” he locked eyes with you in the mirror again, “and i want you to think about how i’m the only one who will ever make you feel this good the entire time”.

his words were harsh but they sounded like honey when they flowed through your pathetically devoted ears. between his consistent thrusts and the pads of his fingers working their magic, you were a pitiful mess of whimpers and moans in a matter of minutes. your body twitching and legs shaking as you mumbled his name over and over — it was the only word your brain could comprehend right now.

seeing you like that nearly pushed eren over the edge himself, but he forced himself to last a little longer, wanting to milk your orgasm for everything that it was. he was genuine when he said no one else would ever make you feel the way he could — your head was spinning and your body was on a high that felt like it would never end.

only once your body finally fell limp and tired, signifying that your climax had ended, did he pull out and spray his seed all over your exposed back. you were a sticky, sweaty mess and your legs didn’t have the strength to stand even after eren was done coming down from his own high.

your face was buried in your arms when you felt a wet paper towel cleaning up the mess of semen off your back. eren tossed the towel into the garbage and wrapped his arms under your torso so he could help your pitiful self stand up. you let out a few pained whimpers, stumbling into his arms and wrapping your hands around his neck.

“that bad, huh? how are you gonna go back out there and work for all your masters? i’m sure they’re waiting,” he smirked at you, and there was no sympathy in his voice.

“i- i don’t think i can,” you whined, clinging to him as your legs continued to shake underneath you.

eren shook his head and clicked his tongue, helping you over to your clothes and assisting you with getting back into your uniform. even after getting dressed your legs refused to work — you were a shaky, stumbling mess. you sat in a pitiful heap against the tiled wall while you watched eren get his own clothes back on.

“i think you might need a new job,” he snickered, squatting down and lifting you onto his back once he was dressed.

you graciously climbed onto his back, arms wrapping around his neck and burying your face into his neck, “yeah, yeah i’ll get a new job”.

“good idea, because everyone’s about to see how pathetic you are as we walk through the cafe,” he wrapped his arms back under your backside to support your weight.

“there’s a back exit right down the hall, please take that one,” you begged, “please”.

“well. since you asked so nicely and did so well i guess you deserve that,” he complied, exiting the bathroom and following your directions to the back door.

but because you have the worst luck in the world, one of the cafe managers came walking right around the corner just as the two of you were about to leave. you buried your head deeper into eren’s neck, unbearable amounts of embarrassment and shame flooding your veins.

“hey man, she quits, sorry!” eren yelled and handled it for you, dashing out the back door before the manager could even comprehend what he’d just seen.

“thank you,” you mumbled into his shirt, and you were truly thankful that you didn’t have to speak for yourself in there.

“no problem, princess,” he adjusted one of his hands so he could squeeze your ass, making you jump against his back, “let’s head back to my house for round two, yeah?”

“r-round two?” you stuttered.

you could barely handle round one, and he was ready to go again? how!?

“i’m joking, relax. let’s go watch a movie or something,” he chuckled, hoisting you higher on his back and beginning your long walk back to his apartment.

you sighed and sunk into his back, that sounded nice. there was a huge difference in how eren acted earlier and how he was acting now, but you were a sucker for both personalities. you expected college to consist of classes and work and maybe a few new friends but meeting eren yeager was sure to make it a lot more interesting.

[flusteredloser]

subzero - beverly marsh x fem!reader

it fandom week: huddling for warmth

content warnings: mentions of intoxication, smoking, swearing, fire, harmless threats, inhaler abuse, enemies to lovers, also i’m making bev tall bc i love tall gals word count: 3k

at the ripe age of ten years old, you knew you wanted to become a mother. the appeal of bouncing children in your lap, tucking them into bed, and the empowering feeling of calming tantrums down was something you naively believed was your destiny.  now, ten-year-old you was never wrong, you knew that. but what you didn’t expect was for your dream to come true at eighteen, stuck mothering six drunken teenage sons during a hailstorm’s power outage.

“edward. kaspbrak. i swear to god, if you do not go to sleep right now i will knock you out with your own inhaler.”

eddie groans at your words, still teeter-tottering towards the mattress. richie was already in bed, practically dead for a past half-hour. 

thankfully, he didn’t wake up from his comatose state when eddie gracefully slammed headfirst into the bed. you held your breath as the bed shook under eddie’s weight. drunken eddie was already a nightmare, what more, an even worse nightmare when catalysed with richie’s antics.  mike was slightly more useful. after throwing up in almost every sink in the house, he helped carry a very tipsy ben up the stairs and they were now both unconscious down the hall. bill wasn't exactly a disturbance, but he was incredibly determined to show us that he could play the piano right now if asked, that his skills were only heightened after dark. (the fact that bill had never touched a piano in his life, or that bev's apartment didn't even have a piano wasn't stopping him). bev was taking care of them in the other room, and based on the muffled conversation, was still trying to coax bill to sleep.  you and bev being the losers’ designated sober pair for tonight was the worst idea that had ever occurred to anyone. ever. the eight of you agreed. if you needed something done, you’d never leave the two of you to do it together.  but stan had explained that the rotation required the two of you to pair up tonight, no matter what. you didn’t quite understand the necessity of it but in all honesty, you’d rather put up with bev’s clownery than upset stan further.   speaking of, you glance at the lump on the floor, peacefully swaddled and engulfed in the massive duvet. you should probably check on stan’s breathing later. 

now, though, you still had one child left.

hearing the sound of an air pump go off from the bed, you walk back to eddie.

“but i’m so cold and i’m not even tired,” said eddie, his inhaler still jammed in his mouth.

“eddie, the power will be back in no time, and if you keep pumping that shit in your mouth, you’re never going to feel tired,” you sigh, taking the aspirator away.

“no, but seriously.” eddie continues, his eyes filled with sleep-deprived mania. “i swear, i’m like wide awake, i don’t even need sleep right now, it’s technically the morning and nO WHAT THE HELL-”

clutching the pump in your hand, you watch the white vapour shoot against eddie’s face. nothing but eddie’s exasperated coughing filled the room.

“i told you, i’m not afraid to use this.”

“i thought...you said...you were going to...knock me out with it,” eddie questioned between coughs.

you narrow your eyes at him, “you keep this up and i will knock you with it.” 

“wow, you really are gonna make a great mother someday.”  you let out a deep groan, turning to see where the new voice came from. leaning against the doorframe with a lit cigarette between her fingers was bev in all her smug glory. 

“you know, after dealing with kaspbrak tonight, he makes you look like an angel,” you roll your eyes.

“hey!” you hear a muffled voice from under the blanket. 

“go to sleep, pretty boy,” bev chuckles, some smoke escaping with her laugh, “i know it’s hard after seeing her troll face but you have to try.”

you rolled your eyes again at the two giggles in the room, shuffling around the bed, carefully stepping around stan’s body. you continue to walk past bev and into the hall. 

the house was silent. no one lived here anymore but bev since you guys graduated, and since mr. marsh stopped residing here, the apartment had an almost peaceful quality.

walking past the guest room, you grin at the sight of mike, ben, and bill entwined together on the floor. oh, how much tamer this group would’ve been compared to the menaces next door. 

you snatch your backpack from the living room sofa and dug through the pockets anxiously. searching against the walls of your bag and still finding nothing, you began to feel more and more nervous. “fucking hell, where is it,” you whisper. at this rate, you weren’t sure if the thumping in your ears was from the sound of sharp hail hitting the windows or your heart beating in your throat. you stand up in a deeper panic, aggressively patting your pockets up and down.

“you know, as entertaining as this is to watch, i almost feel bad.” 

“bev..." you sigh. "i am not in the mood."

“why? too busy looking for your pack of camels?” you hear the sound of a familiar cardboard flap opening, “personally, i’m more of a marlboro girl but i mean, these work too.”

you spin around and storm up to bev, snatching the lit cigarette from her lips. “that’s mine?”

she smirks, “you left your backpack open, it was practically an invitation.” 

“an invitation for you to go through my shit?” you hissed, dangling the ignited end near her face.

she snatched her cig back and mockingly dangling it back near your face, “yeah, a formal invitation for me to smoke off this monstrosity of a temperature. what do you want, an apology too? i can write you one asap, let me find bill’s notebook-”

taking the cig back once more, you snap. "you’re such an ass, bev.”

she grins, following closely behind you. she could feel the heat radiating off of your body, and she secretly hoped you’d accidentally stop in your tracks so she could run into you. in the name of transferring body heat and what not. shaking off these thoughts that were hijacking her brain, she makes a kissy sound, “c’mon, you know you love it.”

“mmhm sure, bev. because i’m really into girls stealing my shit.”

pinching the flame from the cig and dumping it in the tray, she leads the both of you into the supply closet. she chuckles as she leans against the doorway, leaving you feeling trapped in the tight room. you knew she was laughing because you insisted on going in first and now that you were the one having to get the stuff, but you didn���t quite register that the things you needed was on the top shelf. up high stood a high stack of blankets. and they looked like they could singlehandedly cure the subzero temperature. 

clearly, you must have been looking up at the blankets for a moment too long because bev gave up and leaned forwards to grab the stack. the sensation of her flushed against your back was enough to make you dizzy, not to mention how absolutely warm she was. and of course... it was bev. 

bev. the girl who you rolled your eyes at every day, the girl who taunts you at any given minute, the girl you would, and had, risked your life for. you guys never talk about neibolt, but sometimes you catch yourself thinking of what could have happened if it went south. if you hadn’t grabbed her in time, and if you didn’t switch places just before pennywise launched at you...  absentmindedly tracing the scar down your stomach, you think of the absolute lack of regret you feel to this day. you always had this joke that you wanted to kill her, but how much of that was true?

“darling, did the cold already go and rot your brain?” bev faux-pouts, “not that there was much to begin with, but i’m still worried.” the stack of blankets was now under her arms with one stretched out as she began to wrap it around herself.

never mind. sometimes you did want to kill her. 

by habit, you went on your tip toes in order to get to bev’s face, but she was already crouched a couple inches from your face. trying to keep your racing heart under wraps, you choke out a semi-convincing “don’t make me murder you, beverly.”

she grins back your serious face. "aww no, i couldn’t let you do that. the knives and other weapons are also stored up there.” she teases, slinging her arm around your shoulder and dragging you to deliver the blankets to the boys. 

"oh, fuck off." you shove bev's arm off of you and walked back into richie, eddie, and stan's room. true to your word, you kneeled down to the floor and gently rolled stan’s head towards you. placing your two fingers against his pulse point, you giggle to yourself at the absurd action. if it wasn’t already obvious that he was indeed alive, he groans under you, but you shush him in time. lightly stroking his curls, you whisper. "i’m just checking up on you, stan,” placing the second blanket onto him. he groaned back.

quietly tip-toeing towards the bed, you tossed the other blanket over richie and eddie. “i swear, these guys would be dead already without us.” you laugh to yourself. 

a dim light flickers from the living room and casts a light across the hall. you shut the door behind you as you leave, going into the living room to see bev on the sofa, engulfed in her own large fleece blanket. the only thing peeking out was her face and hands as her she alternated flickering her lighter's warmth on her fingers. 

without thinking, you plop by her on the sofa. “whatcha doing there, you pyro?”

“it’s getting so fucking cold,” bev half-heartedly jokes. you can see her eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, but her voice was so contradictingly soft it made your heart melt.

you extended your open hand to her and she stared at it. “blood oath part two? promise to never be sober again during a powercut?”

“i wish, and shut up. don’t play dumb with me, beverly.”

you notice the slightest tinge in her cheeks as she places her hand along with her lighter in yours. you immediately recoil at her freezing fingertips and the lighter clatters to the ground. bev rolls her eyes and shifts away, “first you want to hold my hand, secondly you’re acting like i have fucking HIV.”

“firstly, smartass, i’d still hold your hand if you had HIV-”

“aww-”

“because it’s a blood-borne pathogen so unless you bleed or shit or lactate on my hand, i’m safe.”

bev’s face scrunches up. “how romantic.”

“now shut it and give me your hand already.” you say, placing your palm out for her again.

now bev is the one rolling her eyes at you for a change. she gives you her hand, much slower this time though, careful not to have you pull away again. not having you pull away? why was this something she was considering? 

immediately, bev felt the heat from your skin radiate against hers’, instantly igniting her skin in goosebumps. she instinctively gave you her other hand and you take with a soft smile. 

“now...why the hell are you built like a goddamn radiator.” bev grumbled, rubbing her hands together under yours.

“well, i don’t see you complaining, do i?” you raise your eyebrows.

“i’m not mad...it’s just that it’s not like you need it,” bev says between chuckles, “you’re like five feet tall. not exactly a lot of surface area to heat up.”

“you’re such a dick, bev. you’re losing your hand-holding privileges,” you side-eye, pulling your warm fingers away.

she gasped, “oh, don’t you dare.”

“yes, i do. it’s not like i’m dying to feel your freezing hands on me, bev.” you desperately try to make the statement sound as sarcastic as you can, but it ends up coming out much shakier than expected. 

even in the dark, you can see the glint of bev’s mischievous grin. “oh really? you don’t want to feel my freezing hands?” “is that a trick question?” you sigh exasperatedly, “because if you as much as-”

suddenly, you feel bev’s ice-cold fingers press against the skin on your ribcage and you immediately squeal. you clamp your hand over your mouth at the scare, you try and contain the others sounds that escape you as she further presses her freezing hands against your warm skin. scrambling away from her grasp, you slap the back of her head.

“you stop that right now or i will leave you on your own porch to freeze,” you threaten through gritted teeth.

“mmhm, like you would.” she teases, continuing to press the pads of her still-cold fingertips into your stomach. 

you felt your heart rate rise significantly, to the point that you were sure that your unknown warmness was actually due to bev making the blood pump 10x more than normal. every braincell swimming inside your head was on the brink of short-circuiting at the feeling of bev’s hands dancing along the edge of your bra. what the hell is she thinking?

after a couple more rounds of her threatening to freeze your midriff and you threatening to crack open a window, you both surrender and allow her keep her hands clasped between yours, resting atop your chest.

“are you not getting any warmer?” you groan, forcing yourself to snap out of your own feelings. 

“hey, you’re the hot-pack here. do you think i’m feeling any warmer?” she goes back to press her freezing palms against your stomach.

“no, no, no, do not do that again.”

bev sighs, “then what the hell am i supposed to do?” she sits upright and tightens the blanket around her head. shifting away from you, she shivers her way back into the other end of the sofa. “i’m dressed in triple the layers you are, moved around way more than you have, i’m even wearing this gigantic fleece eyesore-”

“oh for fuck’s sake just come back here.” you roll your eyes.

bev moves about an inch closer. 

you feel your heart constrict in your chest and you let yourself say it before you could think it any further, “i said, come here.” you lift one of your arms and gesture for her to come closer. scooting your body near to the end of the sofa, it was clear that the space you made was so she could easily crawl in next to you.

“are- are you... you want me to-”

you’re sure your whole face has gone red. bev she already can’t stand you so why not just make it even more awkward, huh? you bit your tongue gently, calming yourself down. if bev didn’t know that you offered to cuddle with her just because you could, then that was her fault for being so daft. you sigh, resuming back into your deadpan state. “yeah, i can’t listen to another minute of your whinging.”

“no, i heard you, i just-” she stammers, looking equally red herself. you feel a huge tiny sense of pride as you realised you’ve rendered bev speechless. beverly marsh. speechless.  

“what are you waiting for?” you tease, “a formal invitation?” 

having the upper hand for once was refreshing, if not thrilling. being the one to tease her and watch her become flustered was something you wish could happen more often. 

bev’s face breaks out in the softest smile you’ve ever seen. she slowly makes her way over to you, shifting her body close to yours without touching you yet. “is that too much to ask for? a formal invitation?” you let out an unexpected genuine laugh at her silliness and bev giggles in unison. this was different than your default laughter made of semi-amusement and sarcasm. she rests her weight against you, her cheek gently pressing into your collarbone. her fingertips resume their spot against the flushed skin of your stomach and your own cheeks turn red again. there wasn’t a functional reason for her to do that anymore.

“stop that before i regret this, bev.”

“there’s no way in hell you regret this.” she grins, followed by the faintest whisper of an “i sure don’t.”

you were about to reply and perhaps mention how you’d be okay with her falling asleep in your arms, that you could tolerate such juvenile behaviour. you know, in the name of public health and safety, but bev beats you to it.

“just let me warm up here for ten minutes, alright. then you can let go and i’ll sleep on my side right after,” she rushes out.

that wasn’t how you thought it was going to know. your heart sinks slightly at her words but you try not to take it personally. what else could you do? it was almost like a wake-up call, reminding the both of you that this wasn’t normal for you and bev. 

after a minute or so, you found yourself absentmindedly weaving your fingers through bev’s auburn hair, gently combing it with your hands like you did earlier with stan. “you have such soft hair,” you whisper against her hair. 

you hear her mumble against the blanket indistinguishably and you find yourself closing your eyes at the vibrations of her voice against you. if only bev wanted to stay here like this and this feeling between the two of you could last more than the next ten minutes. you let your eyelids drift down momentarily, and you smile at the thought.

just a couple minutes later, your mind jolts back awake, and your heart sinks at the thought of having to wake her up so she could move to her side of the sofa and sleep. you reach over to feel the ends of her hair between your fingers again, grounding yourself to this feeling one last time before bev had to wake up. once you peel your eyes open however, you immediately shut them against the bright light shining at you. was richie planning on abducting y’all in the middle of the night again? gently prying your eyes open for the second time, you notice the light is shining from the window. you sigh in relief.

wait. the window? 

your eyes shoot open fully. the hail had stopped. and it’s day time. 

snapping your head down to bev, you take in her figure still fit snugly into your side. her free arm rests across your chest, her legs were entwined with yours. ...and her electric blue eyes stare right into you. your heart instantly jumps into your throat as you scramble for excuses, fuck, anything that would keep you from explaining yourself.

instead, she shifts her body upwards so she’s fit even tighter against your side,  placing her face into the crook of your neck. her lips were right at your pulse point, sending your mind spiralling at the thought that she could probably feel how fast your heart was beating right now. her lips move against your skin, saying something barely above a whisper.

“you tell anyone about this and i’ll fucking end you.”

[blacktofade]

Hi!! for the prompt thing!! ryan getting so caught up with other things that he doesn’t realize shane is slowly slipping away ?? im really into angst with happy ending or hurt/comfort bc im a cotton candy that cant handle too much angst but it’s really up to u!! ☺️☺️☺️

Boy am I late with this one. This isn't even what you wanted, because I like Ryan calling Shane out on his shit.

CW: smoking. Also, pandemic? What pandemic?

*

Shane’s leaning against a retaining wall in the parking lot when Ryan eventually comes to find him. He takes another drag of his cigarette and watches as Ryan steps out of the building, tucking his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and drawing his shoulders in against the cold as he glances around, clearly knowing Shane is nearby, but not knowing where.

When he spots Shane, his expression opens, a smile spreading across his face.

Shane tips his head in acknowledgment, turning slightly to the left to exhale a breath that’s a mix of smoke and condensation.

“Hey,” Ryan says, when he’s close enough. “Thought I’d find you out here.”

Shane knocks ash off the end of his cigarette and offers him a smile. “Needed a break.”

Ryan lets out a quiet laugh. “What, you don’t like the office packed with thirty more people than it can reasonably fit?”

Shane snorts. “You said the more the merrier when we planned this winter party.”

“I think I underestimated things,” Ryan says, his shoulders seeming to loosen, and Shane shrugs.

“I dunno. It seems fitting for our first year.”

Ryan laughs again and nods. “It’s been — chaotic.”

“Understatement,” Shane grunts.

“We did okay, I think,” Ryan tells him, or perhaps tells himself, and Shane grunts again. Ryan lets out a huff of laughter. “What? You’d do something differently if you redid this year?”

“Sounds like a topic for Steven’s next employee survey,” Shane jokes, but Ryan keeps watching him, as though waiting for an answer.

“But would you have changed anything?”

Shane hesitates. “Seems like a loaded question.”

Ryan doesn’t say anything and Shane takes another drag of his cigarette and exhales away from him to be polite.

“You okay?” Shane asks after a moment, because it seems like the right thing to do.

Ryan still doesn’t say anything, but instead holds out his hand, silently requesting Shane’s cigarette.

It’s not a good sign.

The last time Ryan had smoked in front of Shane had been over one too many drinks after contract negotiations with BuzzFeed. Ryan’s hands had been shaking too much to light the cigarette and Shane had needed to do it for him.

Ryan takes a draw, coughing almost immediately and making Shane laugh before he can help himself.

“Smoking’s bad for you,” Shane deadpans and Ryan doesn’t react, but touches a thumb to the corner of his own mouth as though thinking.

He takes another drag, not coughing this time.

“Do you ever feel like you have to choose between things?” Ryan asks, taking Shane off guard.

“Like red or white wine?” Shane tries to joke, but it doesn’t land and Ryan silently passes his cigarette back.

“No, between work and life.”

Shane scratches at his stubble and taps away a little more ash. “If you’re having issues with work-life balance, you should tell Steven.”

Ryan lets out a laugh that sounds slightly self-deprecating. “No, that’s not — that’s not what I mean.”

“Well, I can’t read minds, Ryan.”

Shane takes one last drag of his cigarette and stubs it out against the concrete wall behind, exhaling while Ryan seems to think about what it is he’s trying to say. Carefully, Shane wets his fingers on his tongue and pinches at the end of the cigarette until it’s cool enough to slip back into the packaging to throw away later, and puts the carton in his pocket.

“It's been a really good year,” Ryan finally says after a long moment, though Shane can hear the but in his voice. "But it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

Shane’s stomach sinks. “Avoiding you?”

“When was the last time we did anything outside of work?”

Shane wants another cigarette already, just for something to do with his hands. Instead, he tucks them into the pockets of his chinos.

He doesn’t answer Ryan, but only because he can’t remember the last time.

“You barely even text me unless it’s work related,” Ryan presses.

Shane knows what he’s talking about. He won’t deny that. But it doesn’t make it easier.

“It’s a startup,” Shane tries. “We’re gonna be busy for a while.”

“Shane, don’t bullshit me.”

Shane takes his advice and shuts his mouth.

“Are you avoiding me?” Ryan presses and Shane lets out a sigh.

“If we spend all day working together and hang out after, you’ll get sick of me.”

Ryan watches him and Shane knows he has his answer.

“This is literally no different from what we had before at BuzzFeed,” Ryan points out and Shane shakes his head.

“This is legally binding now.”

Ryan laughs like he thinks Shane is the most ridiculous person ever, which he probably does. “You say that like we got married.”

“We did a little bit.”

“If I have to call you my work husband, I’m going to quit,” Ryan threatens and Shane lets out an unexpected laugh, knowing how much they both hate buzzwords like that.

“Please don’t.”

The silence hangs between them for a moment before Ryan finally asks, “Don’t call you that, or don’t quit?”

“Either,” Shane admits. “Both.”

There’s another long silence before Ryan finally says, “I’m not gonna grow bored of you.”

“I didn’t think you would,” Shane replies with a frown.

“So you just avoided me for other, completely rational reasons?”

That shuts Shane up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryan asks, though Shane knows they both already know the answer to that.

“No,” he says, just to clarify.

“Do you want to try using your words like an adult?”

Shane hates that Ryan’s actually in-tune with his feelings. He sighs and shrugs loosely. “There’s more at stake. If we fight — ”

“If we fight, we’ll talk it out like friends and business partners. Or would you prefer we have blowout arguments that ruin both our friendship and our business?”

Shane sighs again, because he knows Ryan is right. Ryan raises his eyebrows like he knows Shane knows he’s right.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, and realizes after he says it that he actually means it. He’s hated not spending extra time with Ryan, but he’s hated the fear of accidentally losing Ryan even more.

Ryan’s shoulders drop like he’s finally relaxing and he smiles, the blinding smile that he always has for Shane, no matter his mood.

“I wish we’d talked about this sooner,” he admits, “but I could never get you alone.”

Shane rubs the back of his neck and nods. “Yeah, that took some effort. I’m not proud.”

Ryan shakes his head, like he can’t believe the lengths Shane goes to, but he’s still smiling, which gives Shane hope that he hasn’t fucked everything up completely.

“Will you grab dinner with me after work next week?” Ryan asks gently.

There’s a familiar clench in Shane’s stomach — instinctive at this point from trying so hard to avoid everything — but he takes a breath and nods before he can give himself time to back out.

“Yeah,” he says. “We can do that.”

Somehow, Ryan’s smile brightens even more.

“C’mon,” he says, “let’s go back inside before anyone misses us.”

He tugs on Shane’s sleeve, but he doesn’t have to tug hard. Shane follows him willingly.

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[rosyerim]

bad boy au | na jaemin

na jaemin, the notorious playboy of his school

literally flirts his way out of trouble

his english teacher caught his cheating during his test and what did jaemin do? wink and slide the paper up his sleeves

“ah you must be mistaken i would never cheat on a test! esp w a teacher as pretty as you ♥ ~(◠‿◕✿)”

cue the teacher blushin and letting him off and jeno laughing at him getting caught

part of the dreamie squad obviously 

the whole group of them are absolute hearthrobs

but jaemin is like the leader ever since mark graduated ot7(╥﹏╥)o

whenever he walks down the hall or into class, guaranteed the students are squealing and highkey blushing

i mean who isn’t, jaemin is a god???

he’s also known for playing around w girls and boys

its never too serious as jaemin always cuts it off when if they say i love you

homeboy isn’t about that committed life

which sucks for the ppl he has a thing with

because he treats them so good

always taking them out on the cutest dates, to the newest cafe, the aquarium, the ice cream shop even simple dates in the park!!

 pulling out their chair for them, holding the door open for them all that gentleman ish!!

but they always want more from jaemin

jaemin is known to be affectionate w his own friends but he’s never done any pda with his flings

which confuses them bc??does jaemin like me?? 

the answer is; no

despite what he says while flirting he rarely means any of it, he just likes the reactions he gets like,

when he compliments them and they turn red

or he holds their hand and they get all shy

but he loses interest in them as quickly as he gets it and is quick to cut it off

which does make him a bit of an asshole in that sense

but he does it in such a nice way they can’t get mad

he also dyes his hair so!!much!! 

how hasn’t it fallen out yet!!!

also kind of a stoner

psa; dont do drugs kids if ur underage!! this is just an au!!!

he likes to get faded behind the abandoned carnival the dreamies have dubbed as their hangout

its rlly just a closed down amusement park thats rlly old and they just spray painted DREAM on everything they could find but the dreamies love the eerie feeling they get in ther and like to pretend they own it

AND theirs no cops around so they can do what they like

which usually means getting crossfaded or having the occasional bonfire/party but most of the time they just get a truckload of candy and challenge each other on pokemon w their nintendos lol

he also likes the feeling of his surroundings being numb and always ends up falling asleep after he finishes a blunt

which leaves a sleepy and clingy jaemin stuck w the rest of the dreamies

jaemin doesn’t let himself smoke around his flings as he doesn’t trust them nearly as much as his boys

lowkey has trust issues

but once he gets his daily dose of coffee, like 3000 shots of espresso he is A W A K E

the dreamies are the worst for almost getting in trouble

when it gets dark they usually hop on their bikes, grab two bottles of spray paint each, and go on into their neighbourhood, whilst playing obnixous dubstep from their speakers

and cause total chaos 

they always leave dogs barking and house lights turning on in their wake as they cycle like mad men down the empty streets, streaking the road with luminous pinks and greens

they get the biggest thrill out of being chased by the local police

whenever the hear the telltale siren they all whoop and laugh in unison, shouting out bets on who will get caught first chenle and who’ll get back to the hangout first renjun

it’s dangerous but they get a real kick out of it and always make sure to tweet about and post it on ig

overall jaemin is jus your average bad boy who likes causing havoc

but who doesn’t like havoc?? 

you, my dear reader :))

you had just moved house and into a completely new neighborhood

 it was your fifth day in your new home and you missed your old area a lottt

and you were highkey bitter bc you didn’t want to move but your parents made you >:((

so sunday night rolls around and you were chilling in bed, watching some dumb yt video when all of sudden in the distance you heard,,,thumping,,,

like really ugly but rhythmic thumping,,,

and it was getting louder and closer to your house

so you being all investigative, throw on your hoodie and waddle on downstairs and open your front door, the porch light turning on automatically

and what you saw was a sight

there were a group of boys cycling up and down your street, attempting to do tricks like wheelies???and shit

but as they did their tricks they were spraying the ground so they left a lot of squiggly lines as they turned and jumped

you didn’t mind that, you thought it was actually kind of pretty

but what wasn’t pretty was that hideous music

you were pretty sure they were playing that im blue dabdeeda song but a dubstepped remix version 

and god it was awful

but you kinda assumed they must have gona tone deaf bc they were screeching the lyrics to the tops of the voices and one tall kid was trying to freestyle to it

yeah, they were a sight

 you noticed none of the neighours had come outside which meant this was a normal occurrence??

oh no, you were not having this

without a second thought you shoved your feet into your uggs by the door and stomped your little butt over to the group of screaming boys

one of the boys who was on his phone on his bike, noticed you storming towards them and quickly hit another guy next to him and so on

until all their attention was on you

all six of them 

if it were your old neighbourhood you would have been flustered at their attention on you and they were good looking and you were wearing an,,,odd attire

but you didn’t care

once you reached them you just crossed your arms

“whose playing the music?”

they kinda looked at you as if you spoke another language

until you arched an eyebrow and the tall kid from earlier raised his hand, holding his phone 

“uh,,, i am,,, i’m jisung,,,”

you marched over to him and swiped his phone, ignoring the laughing from one of the boys, scrolling thru his horrible choice of songs

then one of them tapped you on ur shoulder

“so like,,who are you? whats your deal sis?”

you noted he had quite an ugly bowlcut that was also bright red and you just rolled your eyes, before typing in a decent song in jisungs phone

another kid stepped forward and tried to look menacing as he stood up slightly taller in front of you

“like haechan asked,,what’s your deal? do you know who we are?”

you scoffed and clicked on the song, feeling satisfied as frank oceans song ivy played through the speaker

“frankly i don’t care who you guys are but your taste in music is shit and you all sound obnoxious”

homeboy who tried to seem tough was lowkey shook

and haechan just laughed really sarcastically 

“our music taste is shit? your outfit is a mess” 

your outfit was literally a large hoodie and uggs but like??your mom bought them and u liked them!!

“my mess of an outfit is worth more than that tragic cheap dye job you got ontop of your scalp smh”

haechan just gaped at you while the boys tried to hide their snickers 

you were about to leave before another one of them stepped forward, stretching out his hand

“yo you’re kinda funny, i’m renjun!” 

u just stared at his hand 

“yeah cool i dont care, bye”

ohhhh cold

you had stalked off from them ignroing their oooo savages behind you, ready to slip back into bed highkey proud of yourself 

BUT

not so fast

suddenly your met with a really smiley face with pink hair

he grabs your hand and kisses the back of it giving you his usual, heart stopping smile

“i don’t think i’ve seen you before...i’m jaemin and its very nice to meet you (◕‿-)“

but you are not liking his large ass smile

you rip your hand back and just arch your eyebrow again at him

“are you all actually deaf? I am y/n, and I do not care! goodnight!” 

and off you storm, this time actually making it to your door

you spare one more glance at them as you’re closing it 

and the group are almost crying bc they’re laughing so hard at jaemin whose looking over at you 

and he just winks at as u slam the door shut 

damn reader, ur wildt

once you’re back in your room you hear the group disappearing down the street, smiling as you hear frank ocean’s voice float away slowly

you peak out your window to see if they’re all gone but what you see leaves your mouth gaping

there in a mix of luminous pink and greens, spelled out in capitals is

TILL NEXT TIME Y/N ♥

there was gona b a next time??? oh no poor you ;)

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence,"  you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working  on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on.  Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

[alyss-spazz-penedo]

Okay, so life has gotten STUPID stressful of late, and these days I have basically no time to indulge happy daydreams AT ALL.

Thus: screw pacing, I'm just gonna toss up this mostly-completed 11th part of the unedited v!Wind fic and then blow through the rest of this fic sometime in the next few weeks, bc I’m not adding any more content to what I’ve already got (or at least not anytime soon).

So yeah, @w1lmutt, expect a larger and more chaotic worddump than usual eventually! (I figure I can worry about proper scenes and editing nonsense if/when I ever move these words over to AO3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

<<First Part 10 Final>>

(I made a Masterpost for this!)

They drag the big doors open.

The inside of the cave is poorly lit and offers little in the way of room to stand; a pathway of those monster-built walkways follows the wall around to the back of the cove, but otherwise the space is all open water with an impressive ship bobbing at the center.

Tetra lets out a grunt of approval when she sees it, though she scowls at the massive cage that's been built on its deck. It’s a crude thing, large and runed with ominous symbols meant to contain the imprisoned, but otherwise the ship itself seems surprisingly understated and not-evil for the primary vessel of someone who’d conquered as much of the sea as Phantom had boasted.

At first, things seem fine. Quiet. The ship is untouched, all gangplanks pulled up and cannons pointed out but otherwise unharmed.

Then one of the pirates peeks their head over the railing and spots them.

"Boss! Swabbie! Is that you?" Niko yells, and there's blood all down his side. "Look out! Monsters afoot!"

"Niko!" Tetra calls in alarm, and the pirates who are able to scramble to lay out a plank for them to board. Phantom doesn't bother waiting, yanking his mask on and clearing the side of the ship in a single bound.

"Who did this," he begins, voice distorted by magic and fury.

Then the monsters attack, dropping from the ceiling and rising out of the sea. Every one of them bleeds black.

The heroes fight, of course. The crew has taken a beating, and the gathered Links do their best to defend the exhausted sailors—Phantom most fervently of them all.

It's hard battle. What footing there is is unstable, and their enemies many. Most of them are not suited to aquatic battles, and the waters of the cave are treacherous. They take injuries, all of them.

But when he's standing between their injured and their enemies, when his eyes are clear and sharp and his strikes deadly precise—for the first time, the gathered Links can see the look of a hero about their youngest.

~o0o~

Of course, he proceeds to thoroughly ruin that impression by the time the battle draws to a close.

The monster he's chosen is not a type of creature he recognizes—green, reptilian, fast in the water. Phantom's cut it's legs out from under it, quite literally, and so it writhes on it's elbows and stomach across the wooden deck as it tries to escape him. Outside of their little corner of the ship, the last of its comrades fall to the blades of the traveling heroes.

"Who sent you?" Phantom demands. When he doesn't get a response he likes, he drags his blade through the side of it's belly, long and nonfatal. It squeals in agony.

"You're going to die here," he observes, soft. He stomps on the wound, heedless of the dark blood splashing his sandals. "But it's going to take time. Quite some time, if you so choose. Answer me: who is your master?"

The creature gibbers. Phantom tilts his head, somehow divining meaning from the nonsensical noises of terror.

"A shadow?" he murmurs. "What-?"

Someone steps in. “What are you doing?!”

And it's only because it’s Hyrule—Hyrule who tried to help, Hyrule who’s lightning magic Phantom can still feel painful echoes of in his bones—that Phantom stays his blade. “Get out of my way,” he growls, which is better than the stabbing any of these other interlopers would’ve gotten.

A hand lands on his shoulder. Phantom's sword swings around, action to reaction with no pause for thought in between. The edge stops a hair's breadth away from Tetra's scowl.

"That's enough," she says, and shoots the lizalfos in the head.

Phantom scowls at the dead body, then at her. "I was not finished," he growls.

Tetra yanks on his ear.

"Ow! Hey!" He flails. "Leggo leggo!"

"We have more important things to worry about!" She yells, dragging him around to look at the sorry state of her crew. "Genzo needs a splint! Niko needs stitches and more bandages than we have! Everyone is beat to shit! And only one of us can fly, idiot!"

She lets go of his ear to shove him forward. Phantom stops. He looks.

"Oh," he utters, and he notices for the first time that he has blood dripping down his shield arm. He shakes his head, once, like a dog, and clutches at the wound. He feels very cold. "...Oh."

As though it had merely been waiting for his permission, the lizal corpse finally explodes into dark smoke.

"Right," he breathes. "Right."

~o0o~

"What were those," Phantom demands.

The pirates have been left in the care of the brothers who'd first opened their dojo to the traveling heroes, recuperating from their various injuries. Fortunately, none of the damage seems permanent. A few fairies, some liberally applied first aid, and all the crew should be at least back on their feet within the week.

This, however, has left the group of heroes with nowhere to stay, which led to Phantom reluctantly opening his own home to them. They're packed in there now, sprawled about both floors and generally tending to themselves with experienced hands.

"What do you think?" Legend replies snippily. Phantom scowls at them all, pacing back and forth restlessly in the tight space by the front door.

His glare lands on Four, helping Twilight wrap his wrist—on Wild getting scolded while Legend rests his ice rod on the Champion's ankle—on Hyrule tutting over Sky while Warriors dramatically bemoans his black eye—

He takes in the group's injuries with a dissatisfaction that very, very poorly covers his unease.

"You're not weak," the boy asserts. Time wonders who he's trying to convince. "You wouldn't have beaten me if you were weak. Why was this battle so difficult?"

"You didn't get off lightly yourself," Time points out, nodding to the thick mess of gauze on the boy's arm. At a guess, the boy had tried to block a blow with his shield and forgotten he wasn't wearing one. Fortunate that there's a fairy fountain on the island, or Phantom might've lost strength in that limb.

Phantom waves him off. "I was handicapped," he dismisses, not denying that he wasn't fighting at his best. Time frowns at the excuse. "I'll figure something out to compensate for it, and this won't happen again."

He gets a lot of dubious looks at that; none of them have forgotten that what he's trying to 'compensate for' is the loss of that parasite. Time's almost dreading what the boy might scrounge up to replace that.

Phantom turns away from them sulkily, unable to defend himself and unwilling to look all that suspicion in the face.

"To answer your question," Four starts, with the air of someone steering the conversation back to safer waters, "that's just the kind of journey we're on."

Sky swings his previously-dislocated shoulder in a testing motion that immediately gets him a cease-and-desist look from Hyrule, before he adds, "Those were pretty standard for black-blooded monsters, I'd say."

Twilight, catching the look on Phantom's face, rolls his eyes. "Did you think something the goddess summoned eight heroes to fight would be easy?"

Phantom scoffs, arms crossed. "It took eight of you to fight me," he grumbles, and there's the arrogant little brat they'd met at the start of this. Hopefully that means the kid's feeling better, if he's up to sassing them like that again.

Time rather doubts that—Phantom IS a Link, after all—and so the one-eyed hero makes a mental note to follow up on that later.

[ibijau]

xisang 13, bc i need to see it happen sjhdjshdhhdb

warning for drug use. And for probably somewhat inacurate depictions of getting high? I try to research a bit but welp

The dried leaves had a rather unusual shape, and a distinctive smell that made Nie Huaisang wrinkle his nose when he took a sniff.

“They’re medicinal,” Lan Xichen explained as he prepared a pipe. “Wei Wuxian found them on a trip and thought they might be helpful. Do you want to try?”

“What is it supposed to cure?” Nie Huaisang asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

It wasn’t that he suspected Lan Xichen of keeping poison around the Hanshi in case some unwanted visitor came to trouble his seclusion, giving him a chance to settle scores, but… Nie Huaisang hadn’t survived this long by being overly trusting.

“It helps you relax,” Lan Xichen said with affected nonchalance. “You look like you could use it.”

Nie Huaisang hesitated and watched as Lan Xichen calmly lit his pipe and sat with it on his sofa. The smell was stronger now that the leaves were burning, heady and nearly unpleasant. Nie Huaisang knew he ought to have gone away and returned at a later time, when Lan Xichen was in a more cooperative mood. Who knew when he’d have such a chance again though, with how protective Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji had become.

“I suppose I’ve had a little more stress to deal with than usual,” Nie Huaisang conceded, still eyeing the pipe suspiciously. “You’ve heard the news, perhaps?”

Lan Xichen pulled on the pipe, then nodded slowly, exhaling smoke.

“Chief Cultivator Nie Huaisang. What a fate for the boy who used to pretend he’d gone blind whenever he had to study politics.” Lan Xichen chuckled. “What a punishment you’ve created for yourself, Huaisang.”

It felt odd to hear Lan Xichen’s laugh again, especially on such a subject. Nie Huaisang had to fight an impulse to grab some of those leaves and take them to a healer from his own sect to see what they really were. It was unlikely that Wei Wuxian would have willingly given Lan Xichen anything that might harm him, but to see him so relaxed felt wrong.

Even as a youth, Lan Xichen would never have leaned so casually against the armrest of a sofa, nor allowed himself to look at others with such open judgement, no matter their fault against him. It made Nie Huaisang uncomfortable to see him like that.

“Er-ge, I assure you…”

“Don’t call me that,” Lan Xichen lightly scolded, inhaling more smoke. “I have killed both of my sworn brothers now, I’m no one’s brother but Wangji’s… and only as long as I tolerate Wei Wuxian, I suspect.”

“Now you’re being unfair,” Nie Huaisang protested. “Your brother cares for you, regardless of how you feel about his husband. Anyone who knows Wangji knows how much he loves you, and…”

“Would he kill for me, I wonder?” Lan Xichen said, laughing again. “Ah, Huaisang, you’ve really raised the bar of expectations toward younger brothers. Now I’ll be cross if I get murdered and the killer isn’t brought down in a dramatic reveal that cost him his life. Or her life? I could get murdered by a woman. They’re capable of it too, after all. I think I’d prefer to be killed by a woman. Usually, they have good reasons for it. What would you prefer, Huaisang?”

“I’d prefer if you stopped smoking this,” Nie Huaisang hissed, annoyed and worried at once. “I don’t think it’s good for you.”

Lan Xichen laughed once more, lounging on his sofa and looking at Nie Huaisang from under heavy lids. He looked miles away from the warm but severely restrained man Nie Huaisang was used to. It wasn’t a bad look, though it definitely was a worrying one.

“It just relaxes me,” Lan Xichen insisted. “You should try it. When is the last time you’ve relaxed, Huaisang?”

“A while,” Nie Huaisang admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was starting to feel a little difficult to think clearly. He wondered, too late, if the leaves’ effect could be felt through their smoke alone. If so, he was in trouble already and needed to leave. The matter he had come to discuss wasn’t so urgent that he should have risked his health, perhaps even his life, over it.

If he had been wise, Nie Huaisang would have left.

He couldn’t quite bring himself to it though, his eyes drawn again and again to Lan Xichen, relaxed and seemingly content.

“Smoke with me,” Lan Xichen lazily insisted. “It’ll be fun, you’ll like it. You need to have fun sometimes, Huaisang.”

It would be unwise to agree. Dangerous even.

But it had been over two years since the death of Jin Guangyao, and in that span of time, Lan Xichen had never once expressed any interest in seeing Nie Huaisang, nor answered his letters. A better man than Nie Huaisang would have known that it was only the burning leaves making Lan Xichen say this, and would have left quickly.

Nie Huaisang had no interest in being a good man though, and he wasn’t above taking advantage of a moment of weakness to spend time again with one of the few people he’d ever counted as a friend.

Nie Huaisang went to sit on the sofa, next to Lan Xichen’s feet, and opened his hand to ask for the pipe. Lan Xichen smiled as he gave it to him.

The first pull on the pipe was a little too strong and made him cough, which in turn made Lan Xichen laugh, as if he’d never beheld anything funnier. Combined with the somewhat unpleasant earthy aftertaste it left on his tongue, Nie Huaisang thought of giving up.

“Give it a little time,” Lan Xichen advised, casually dropping his feet on Nie Huaisang’s lap. “It can take a moment to feel the effect, and then you’ll relax.”

Nie Huaisang stared down at the feet resting on his thighs. It suddenly felt a little harder to breathe, and he wasn’t sure he could blame it only on the pipe.

“Does your uncle know about this… medicine?” Nie Huaisang asked.

“I’m a grown man, I don’t need my uncle’s approval,” Lan Xichen retorted, melting a little more against the sofa, looking rather like a capricious child. “Try again, and then pass it back to me.”

Nie Huaisang obeyed.

It would have been hard to say whether he was relaxing or not, but after a few moments had passed, Nie Huaisang found it a little harder to think clearly. The only thing he could focus on was Lan Xichen, the way his slender fingers held that piper, how his lips parted to blow away smoke, his eyes slightly red but sparkling with life in a way they hadn’t in so long.

Nie Huaisang had missed him, he realised.

He hadn’t necessarily missed the man Lan Xichen had tried to become, impartial to a fault, distant like the moon, a perfect little Lan. But he had missed who Lan Xichen used to be, before everything went wrong. The teenager who was the only other person to make Nie Mingjue smile, who teased with such subtlety that most people missed it, who poked fun at Nie Huaisang’s laziness but never tried to make him be more than he was. The war had ruined that by forcing him to rise to power too soon, and then Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang had trampled what little had remained of that lively young man until only the shell of him remained.

There wasn’t much that Nie Huaisang bothered to regret, but allowing his brother to die, allowing his friends to lose themselves…

If he had tried harder, if he had tried at all…

If he had done this, if he hadn’t done that, if…

A thousand ‘if’ taunted him that he usually tried to ignore, but he couldn’t draw his mind away from them, not when every thought felt heavy and complicated.

Trapped among the memories of failures, Nie Huaisang barely registered movement on the sofa until he felt himself pulled down, his head resting on Lan Xichen’s chest.

The distant notion that this was a scandalous position, that Lan Xichen would hate him for this when he returned to his senses, only worsened Nie Huaisang’s growing anxiety. His heart was beating too fast, too hard, enough almost to make him dizzy. It was nothing at all like the relaxation Lan Xichen had promised, and Nie Huaisang’s panic increased as he wondered if he was being poisoned. If Lan Xichen had taken the antidote beforehand, if he had made himself immune to the toxin, if…

“Am I going to die?” Nie Huaisang asked in a trembling voice that hardly sounded like his own.

Lan Xichen hummed. With the hand that wasn’t holding his pipe, he started running his fingers through Nie Huaisang’s hair.

It felt nice, and more intimate than anything had a right to be.

It wouldn’t be so bad to die like this, held close and touched almost tenderly.

“You’ll never die,” Lan Xichen replied with an aborted yawn. “I won’t allow it.”

“Then what, immortality?” Nie Huaisang scoffed.

“Hm. Yes, doesn’t that sound nice?” Lan Xichen chuckled, sounding absolutely delighted by the idea. “You, me, and all the time in the world to do as we please.”

It did seem like a wonderful plan. Nie Huaisang felt his earlier panic recede somewhat. It was so comfortable to be like this, warm and cozy and close. He remembered being like this sometimes with his brother when he was little, after a nightmare or just when the mood struck him. It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to be this close to anyone, and right then it seemed like such a silly decision. People were nice to be close to. Lan Xichen in particular was very nice to be close to. It was only a shame that…

“We can’t be immortals together,” Nie Huaisang sighed, forlorn and whiny.

“Why not?” Lan Xichen asked, offering the pipe to him, holding it for him as he took in some more of the smoke.

“You hate me now,” Nie Huaisang reminded him, exhaling the smoke and watching the patterns it formed in the air. “I think you’re trying to kill me with those leaves.”

Under him, he felt Lan Xichen’s laughter, almost powerful enough to dislodge him.

“I haven’t killed you that time you made me redo your accounting five times in as many weeks,” Lan Xichen pointed out. “And that was so annoying I really considered it. So don’t worry, if I didn’t do anything then, I’ll never hurt you.”

“Hm. I remember that,” Nie Huaisang mumbled. “You did look like you wanted to kill me. I almost felt sorry.”

“Only almost?”

“Hm. You’re very handsome when you’re angry. I was too busy trying to not get horny to really be sorry.”

The hand in Nie Huaisang’s hair stilled for an instant, before resuming its repetitive movement. Nie Huaisang briefly wondered if that had been a wise thing to say, but since Lan Xichen didn’t explode with anger or disgust, it couldn’t have been so bad.

“Think I’m sleepy,” Nie Huaisang muttered, nuzzling against Lan Xichen, chasing the warmth of his body through the layers he wore.

“Then sleep, A-Sang. You do look so tired.”

“I am. Will you sleep too?”

“Hm. I might,” Lan Xichen yawned, stretching to put his pipe down on a nearby low table. “If I sleep, will you still be there when I wake up this time? Or is this just another dream?”

“Too good to be a dream,” Nie Huaisang mumbled, closing his eyes. “In my dreams, you never want me to stay.”

“And in mine, you always leave,” Lan Xichen retorted with another yawn, before dropping a kiss on Nie Huaisang’s hair. “So try to be there when I wake up this time.”