#alphabet list

[clarks-letterman]

SFW Alphabet List - Johnny Slaughter x GN!Reader edition

a/n — okay, I was gonna put the sfw as well as the nsfw abc list in the same post, but I changed it so they'll be different posts. will post the nsfw later today, but enjoy my crappy head canons for Johnny (this is a bit more informally written compared to my fics since it's simpler than them)

warnings — general implications of harm, dark!Johnny (somewhat possessive, controlling, etc), tcm is the source material so I think y'all know what else is in here... but: mentions of hunting and cannibalism

~~~

A — Affection

Given that his way of living isn’t very lucrative, Johnny prefers to spend quality time with you. He teaches you skills like hunting and tracking down animals in the woods, and how to fix-up cars. When Johnny isn’t or can’t be around, he tries to make up for it by giving you gifts. Most of them come from the victims he hunts, but it’s the thought that counts! Maybe he saw some jewelry and thought it would look much nicer on you.

B — Best Friend

Having a friend like Johnny is like befriending a mangy dog. You have to be the one to talk to him and earn his trust. Johnny is weird as a friend, mostly because he can’t share much about his lifestyle with you. But he likes the consistency you bring, you have a regular life and are always at the bar he frequents to pick up victims. Everyone else there looked at him funny, but you liked that he clashed with the establishment. He was fresh off the farm and looked like he needed a drink, so you bought him one and you two sit and talk for hours. You’ve entertained him about his hunting interests before, but you have no idea that he usually talking about hunting people.

C — Cuddling

Johnny loves handholding. After losing his mom, the last thing he wants to feel is you slipping away from him. He never wants you to leave, and he’ll take that motivation as far as he needs to. It started out as handholding and not much else, but then he got more comfortable with your touch. His favorite way to cuddle with you is in bed with him as the little spoon and you pressed against his back—he feels so safe and protected, but he also loves when you lay on his chest.

D — Domestic

Maybe in another life, he would have fought a lot harder to have a regular life with you. He likes your arrangement with him now, though. Because he’s the one usually hunting and getting the food for the two of you, he relies on you to cook and clean around his shack.

E — Ending

Johnny would both take it well and take it horribly. He’s had to kill so many people that he doesn’t feel much when you leave him (or come to the same fate as his victims), but he also hates seeing someone who provided him stability and a sense of normalcy amidst everything he does to be gone from his life. He would miss you, but he’s used to it by now.

F — Fiance

He would get married if his partner really wanted it, but he’s fine leaving things undefined. He loves you and doesn’t need to do anything traditional to prove it. Johnny will do a lot to show his love for you, more than any ring will show.

G — Gentle

When Johnny gets to know you, he’ll do everything in his power not to harm a hair on your head. But with a violent upbringing comes an unwillingly violent nature, so he tries his best but he’s not always perfect. He can get upset easily if you approach him about a touchy topic, and his way of getting you to stop talking isn’t always the nicest.

H — Hugs

Johnny loves to come up and hug you from behind on those slow mornings when you’re in his shack while making breakfast. 

I — I Love You

Because he needs time to warm up to you—even after you have started dating him—Johnny probably wouldn’t say it until well into your relationship. He wants to be sure that you accept him for who he is and everything that he fails to be, and when he’s confident that you love him, he’ll love you too.

J — Jealous

Johnny gets extremely jealous when anyone other than him flirts with you. It doesn’t help that he can actually do something about it and hunt them down, all it takes is one hint in the right direction and he’ll make them pay…

K — Kisses

Johnny’s kisses border on the line of soft and rough. If he’s just returned from a successful hunt, he’ll kiss you passionately with a craze in his eyes. But other times, his kisses are slow and sensual—he wants to take in your taste and how you feel pressed against him. He loves kissing you along your neck and collarbone, and he loves when you kiss his scars, especially the one across his face.

L — Little Ones

Surprisingly, Johnny is the best with kids out of his entire family. He provides enough sternness but also is willing to work with them more than any adult. He also has the sense to protect them after coming to terms with what he’s been through. But, he also feels like he could be among the same people who would inflict the pain he felt on to a new generation of kids because of how he’s been raised. He wants to give them a good life, but he knows that he’ll more than likely parent them like Nancy.

M — Mornings

Mornings with Johnny are slow. You’ll usually wake up to the cool air in his cabin, the Texas sun having yet to make things boil. He wakes up before you more often than not, and he’ll wait for you to get up with him. You have surprised him on occasion by waking up before him to make breakfast and picking out an outfit for him to wear.

N — Nights

You’ve spent countless nights holed up in Johnny’s shack. The two of you usually have an exhausting day out in the heat, so you spend this time cooling off and letting the only light in your life be the man next to you. Johnny will usually praise you on how well you did around the house, his cold demeanor fading away by the day’s end. You’ll usually fall asleep to him rubbing your side while you’re in his embrace, listening to the crickets chirp outside.

O — Open

At first, Johnny is very short with his answers. He won’t tell you much and will definitely get angry if you pester him about it. The best thing to do is to wait.

It would be kind of different when he does open up, depending on how you’ve met him. If it were under regular circumstances, he’d almost come off as mean or disinterested because he can’t afford to slip up about his family or “job.” If you met as one of his victims, then you already know the half of it. Either way, he wouldn’t tell you about his personal life until he feels like he can trust you. Maybe he’s returned to his shack in the middle of the night, bloody and winded and you rush to clean him up. Slowly, he starts telling you about this girl he hunted that looked like his mother and he fills you in on details he’s never told anyone.

P — Patience

Johnny has a moderate tolerance for things that make him angry. He’s not someone to immediately snap at something that annoys him, but he has his days where his patience wears thin. 

Q — Quizzes 

He knows more than enough about you to win one of those stupid gameshows you always call in to answer. You could be in his shack, listening to a gameshow on the radio, and reach for his corded telephone to call in. He’ll be on the other side of the shack, but he’ll hear the radio and the question they ask you. He’d know your exact answer and the fact that this is your favorite way to pass the time when very little is going on. So, yeah, he definitely knows you well enough. 

R — Remember

His favorite memory is when you said “I love you.” He’ll always remember it because it was genuine. You didn’t say it after a date or during the thrill of a hunt, you just said it because you could. Because, when you looked into those brown eyes, you just knew it. There was nothing else influencing your words, you just loved him. Plain and simple.

S — Security

Johnny wants to make you feel safe. Even from his other family members, he’ll protect you.

T — Try

Johnny puts his heart into hunting for you. He wants you to eat well and never go hungry. He feels the need to be a provider, to protect you and make sure you’re taken care of. He hates how sappy he gets around the time that the two of you met, but he does try to get you something you’ll like—whether that’s just spending the day with you or giving you gifts he swiped off of his victims. Dates are simple, but he usually takes you on driving dates, ones where you take your dinner and hit the road, traveling to a new place in Texas for the fun of it.

U — Ugly

Johnny can be a bit possessive. If he’s uncomfortable with you doing something, he may try to talk you out of it. And if he’s really not okay with it, then he may do something more drastic.

V — Vanity

He could care less about his looks. He does so much dirty work around the family’s properties that he can’t be bothered to make sure he’s consistently clean and presentable. He’ll frequently come home with car grease and blood all over him.

W — Whole

Johnny is used to feeling isolated from the rest of his family, so he’s used to being on his own. He survived on his own before you and can survive on his own without you. If he ever were to lose you, he would try not to think about how much he needs you.

X — Xtra

Johnny loves taking baths over showers, it reminds him of when he was a kid and his mom would come into the bathroom and brush all of his hair back into a similar mullet style like he has today with her hands so that the shampoo wouldn’t get in his eyes. And she’d run water down his back by scooping up some of it with her hands.

Y — Yuck

Johnny doesn’t like people who refuse to get dirty. He wants to show you his hobbies, which are notably messy and involve a lot of mental and physical dirty work. He doesn’t need you to enjoy it as much as him, but he wants someone who doesn’t turn their nose up at it all the time.

Z — Zzz

Johnny is a restless sleeper. He often has nightmares that cause him to stir and roll, but it seems to lessen the more he opens up to you and the closer he can be with you.

[your-lovely-rose]

← [Navigation] | [Rules] | [Fandoms] →

☞ Fluff

☞ NSFW ⚠

☞ Relationship

☞ SFW

☞ Yandere ⚠

← [Navigation] | [Rules] | [Fandoms] →

[tea-earl-grey]

patiently waiting for all the tardiswiki editors to scour "gravity" off the face of the wiki and only replace it with "mavity"

[finelythreadedsky]

JSTOR Wrapped: top ten JSTOR articles of 2023

Coo, Lyndsay. “A Tale of Two Sisters: Studies in Sophocles’ Tereus.” Transactions of the American Philological Association 143, no. 2 (2013): 349–84.

Finglass, P. J. “A New Fragment of Sophocles’ ‘Tereus.’” Zeitschrift Für Papyrologie Und Epigraphik 200 (2016): 61–85.

Foxhall, Lin. “Pandora Unbound: A Feminist Critique of Foucault’s History of Sexuality.” In Sex and Difference in Ancient Greece and Rome, edited by Mark Golden and Peter Toohey, 167–82. Edinburgh University Press, 2003.

Garrison, Elise P. “Eurydice’s Final Exit to Suicide in the ‘Antigone.’” The Classical World 82, no. 6 (1989): 431–35.

Grethlein, Jonas. “Eine Anthropologie Des Essens: Der Essensstreit in Der ‘Ilias’ Und Die Erntemetapher in Il. 19, 221-224.” Hermes 133, no. 3 (2005): 257–79.

McClure, Laura. “Tokens of Identity: Gender and Recognition in Greek Tragedy.” Illinois Classical Studies 40, no. 2 (2015): 219–36.

Purves, Alex C.  “Wind and Time in Homeric Epic.” Transactions of the American Philological Association 140, no. 2 (2010): 323–50.

Richlin, Amy. “Gender and Rhetoric: Producing Manhood in the Schools.” In Sex and Difference in Ancient Greece and Rome, edited by Mark Golden and Peter Toohey, 202–20. Edinburgh University Press, 2003.

Rood, Naomi. “Four Silences in Sophocles’ ‘Trachiniae.’” Arethusa 43, no. 3 (2010): 345–64.

Zeitlin, Froma I. “The Dynamics of Misogyny: Myth and Mythmaking in the Oresteia.” Arethusa 11, no. 1/2 (1978): 149–84.

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

your organs will be rearranged in alphabetical order

abdomen, abdominal arteries, abdominal cavity, abdominal muscles, abdominal veins, abducent nerve...

[dollopheadedmerlin]

For Science

[hood-ex]

Batman: Urban Legends #23

[clarkgriffon]

ALPHABETICAL FAVES ⟹ P is for… Peter Petrelli

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

svsss is funny for a lot of reasons ofc but one of them to me is that if somehow there was a third transmigrator who knew that the other transmigrators were the author and a hate-fan, and their options as to who's-who were

-guy who plays a pivotal role in both versions of the story, managed to go from one of the main character's greatest enemies to his husband, single-handedly saved the realms, has all encompassing knowledge of literally everything to do with pidw

and

-cannon fodder villain who is somehow still alive and only does paperwork

not in a million years would they pick who's-who correctly

[clarks-letterman]

NSFW Alphabet List - Johnny Slaughter x GN!Reader edition

a/n — nsfw list as promised! this one is significantly darker than the sfw list. I attempted to make it as gender neutral as possible!

warnings — please be aware that this alphabet list contains dark contents. dark!Johnny Slaughter, knife play, murder, implications of stalking, consensual non-con, blood play, general violence, necrophilia, dismemberment, choking kink, hunting kink, smut, 18+

don't like? don't read. I may have posted this, but I am not responsible for your media consumption. Keep scrolling if any of that sounds like it may be triggering.

A — Aftercare

Johnny isn’t the best at aftercare, and he doesn’t really try at all. It’s like a jarring personality change as he becomes cold to you when he’s finished. He’ll waddle from his bed to his fridge and return with a beer and softly sip it as he tries to listen to the music playing on the radio. If he’s been rough with you, he’ll make sure you can at least bandage yourself before minding his own business.

B — Body Part

Johnny loves his hands. He loves unraveling you with only two fingers, or wrapping both of his hands around your neck for some more intense moments. You usually end the night with the early stages of bruising around your neck from how hard he’ll squeeze. 

Your favorite part about him is his back. It’s so scratch-able while he fucks you and insanely easy to hold onto thanks to its definition.

C — Cum 

Johny’s not one to play with it, he just likes to cum in or on you—though, he rather prefers the latter to mark you with it—and then help you clean it up after. He loves cumming on your back or on your face the most.

D — Dirty Secret

While he doesn’t love to play with cum, he does love to play with blood. He loves to run his knife along you, carefully cutting into your skin to let you stain his bedsheets. He’ll watch blood perforate the small cuts and how the blood runs down your skin like teardrops until he swipes it up with his finger. He’ll taste it, flashing a bloody smirk as his teeth are already stained with your bloodletting. Sometimes, he marks tallies on your body with it for how many loads he’s pounded into you so far. 

He loves when it coats his body—his dick, specifically. The way it feels against his skin. The way he watches your holes turn red, blushing almost, at his primal nature.

E — Experience

Johnny is plenty experienced in the world of sex. Mostly, he’s experienced in pleasuring himself. He had numerous stints where he’d hook up with the people passing through Newt as a young adult, and that, cobbled together with his own self-exploration, led to him being able to do what he can do now. He can make you cum just from how much he’s trying to get himself off.

F — Favorite Position

His favorite position is to fuck you in is the mating press. It allows him to go as deep as he wants into you while looking at your face, his hands able to easily slip around your neck while he’s fucking you. It’s primal and leaves nothing in his way for him to go as fast or as hard as he wants.

G — Goofy

For the most part, Johnny is pretty serious. He wants to get in and get out, to get pleasure from fucking you and then go on with his day. He wants to get the job done, because his family has conditioned him to be anything less than perfect. The only funny parts come from his own actions, like when he talks to himself to hype himself up or is trying way too hard to be serious in the moment. He'll loosen up after it's all said and done, though.

H — Hair (body hair)

We’ve all seen him shirtless. Johnny lets his body hair grow, but he doesn’t have much to offer. He has a light coating of hair over his thighs that thickens up when you reach his crotch. The carpet matches the drapes, though, and his hair down there is unkempt. It’s too much work to use all those “fancy tools” to keep it clean, and if you don’t like it, there’s always a way to convince you.

I — Intimacy

The violence mentioned above is one of Johnny’s many ways of being romantic. He has a fucked up sense of love, and that’s just one of the byproducts of his upbringing, but he can be sweet in the traditional sense. There are times when he gives you a break, whether he’s feeling romantic or if you ask for it, he’ll take things easy when you want something less intense. 

J — Jackoff

Johnny has a pretty high libido, but he has his responsibilities that keep him away from you. He doesn’t love doing it since playing around with you has made him cum harder than his hand ever could.

K — Kink

Johnny has a hunting kink. It’ll usually start in his shack, he’ll ready himself with no more than a knife and his wits while he ties your hands together and blindfolds you. He’ll help you into his pickup truck and drive out to some field, going for a different spot every time. His favorite time to go is when the sun is starting to set and you’re caught in a golden glimmer of an untended field. Johnny will usually lead you out far enough so that you can’t see the road or his truck, then undo your blindfold and shut his eyes. He’ll start counting to let you know that you have to run, and then the fun begins.

He also has a knife kink. He loves trailing the same blade he’s cut up a thousand people and animals with to trace over your body, debating on whether he should sink the blade into your softer parts like it’s butter or carve his name into you. He isn’t sure how permanent your relationship is yet, so he wants to wait on that.

Lastly, he has a choking kink. Sure, his knife can do wonders and make your body a bloody, painted mess, but nothing beats what two hard-working hands can do. He loves pinning you up against the wall while he’s fucking you, pressing you back against it with one hand wrapped around your neck. If he’s fucking you on his bed, then he’ll use two hands to keep himself steady and control your breathing at the same time. He adores looking down on you, your eyes fluttering and looking weakly up at him as your mouth strains out each moan.

There’s also necrophilia, but he’s stopped that since he met you.

L — Location

Johnny’s not a prude. He can get it on no matter how dirty it is—even if it’s a dirty sunflower field.

M — Motivation

Johnny loves to see how willing you are. He’s used to dealing with victims who scream and cry and beg, and so he grows tired of it sometimes. If he returns to his shack and you’re eager to do the deed with him, he’ll waste no time undoing his belt buckle.

N — No (His turn off basically)

Asking him to be tame. The extreme is his normal. He wants to have primal, animalistic sex with you.

O — Oral

He loves receiving and being the one in control. Though, he will go down on you just to see squirm as he teases you about whether or not to cum. He loves to edge you but hates when you deny him release.

P — Pace

This one could go either way. If Johnny’s fresh off a hunt—whether he was “hunting” you or his actual prey—he’ll play it fast and loose. His thrusts will be sloppy and hard and done without much care with bloodlust filling his eyes. If it’s a night of spending time together in his shack, he’ll take it slow and steady.

Q — Quickie

Johnny adores watching you writhe under him, and quickies don’t provide that satisfaction. He’ll make do with the time he has, but he would rather save it for when he can focus all of his attention on you and him.

R — Risk

He does like to explore, but if it makes him uncomfortable in any way, then he’ll immediately ban it from being brought up again. 

S — Stamina

This is another one that depends on the mood he’s in. If his hunts were successful, then you can bet your ass that he’ll be pumping load after load into you for as long as the night lasts, but if it went poorly, he might not be up for it at all. Without hunting, he can usually go two or three rounds before needing to take a breather.

T — Toys

Given the time period, Johnny’s only toys are simply the ones he makes himself. Though, he didn’t have many. One time, he kept a victim’s head in the freezer for a few days when he thought they were really pretty and almost felt guilty for tearing such beauty away from the rest of its body. Needless to say, he felt pretty hot and bothered and needed some kind of relief, so he used their head as a fleshlight.

U — Unfair

As mentioned above, Johnny loves to leave you hanging. He loves to leave you wanting him while he’s perfectly satisfied after each sexual encounter with him.

V — Volume

Johnny’s pretty loud and vocal when it comes to sex. He quips a lot about how good you take his dick and that you’re his “perfect little fucktoy.” He usually grunts instead of moaning, but he has moments when you make him feel so good that he can’t help but make a noise you thought you’d never hear come out of his mouth. His shack is far enough away from the other family homes that he doesn’t have to worry about how loud he is, either.

W — Wild Card

He loves car sex. He’s taken you in many of the defunct cars on Nancy’s property because each is a different experience. The interiors of each vary wildly, some having vinyl seats, others having leather, and a few having cloth. All of them are different colors and range in their condition.

He loves having sex in his old pickup, too. He’s taken you in the bed and even made you suck him off while he was driving. He had one hand on the wheel, an eager foot on the gas, the open road, and the other hand was on the back of your head. Life felt fuckin’ amazing for him in that moment.

X — X-Ray

Johnny is packing an impressive seven inches, which makes for the perfect counterweight for everything he’s carrying in the back. His dick is fairly thick as well, and he is cut with a pretty pink tip. His balls hang decently low and swing when he walks.

Y — Yearning

Johnny spends most of his days hunting or fixing up cars—working up a sweat and pushing his head to the limit with hunting strategies and the puzzling assembly of various cars. He spends all day out in the Texas heat, so he needs to blow off steam almost every day. More often than not, he’ll go at it with you multiple times in one day. 

Z — Zzz

Not very quickly. Johnny usually does his routine of getting up for a beer, turning on the radio for some background noise, and getting you bandages or ice depending on how rough he’s been before settling back into bed with you. If something’s really bothering him he might share it with you, but otherwise, he embraces the silence.

[foundfamilyadoptionagency]

Below is propaganda submitted in support of why this character should join the tumblr found family:

duolingo has CHANGED MY LIFE. it helped learn me Ingles. /j just a lil dude c'mon

[depress03xpress0]

Learning the Alphabet With Malevolent: Day 8 re-run

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Aesop Sharp NSFT Alphabet

I needed to write it. That is all.

[gif made amateurly by me]

tw: very explicit sexual content and much more

18+ GO AWAY CHILDREN

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aesop gets very gentle after sex, high on endorphins from his orgasm. He’s way more open, more prone to smile, and seeking physical contact. He usually just casts a wandless Scourgify on the two of you, as he doesn’t want to get out of bed, his eyes getting heavy rapidly. If you two make love during the day and have nowhere to be, he takes a twenty minute nap afterwards. Sleep comes to him easily after a nice orgasm.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It took him a long time to stop loathing his body, his leg for failing him like it did, and it takes him an even longer time to actually start liking anything about himself again. He supposes he’s fond of his hands, their expertise with potions enabling him to have a job he quite enjoys, and, of course, his brain. Not even an injury so severe as the one he suffered is enough to dull his wit.

He is fond of pretty much everything about you, but he feels particularly enamoured with your eyes - the looks you send his way, the openness and fondness with which you observe him - it’s enough to make shivers run up his spine, enough to set his blood on fire, enough to make his heart squeeze in his chest. He hasn’t felt this way since he was a teenager and he secretly loves it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He does enjoy coming across your face, or your body, but it doesn’t give him the same kick it gives some other men. He is, however, obsessed with finishing inside, whichever opening, but mainly your cunt. He feels as if he’s marking you, claiming you as his and his only, and he loves feeling your walls clenching him, milking him until the last drop. The amount is also larger than average, something one needs to be prepared for when fellating him. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If you happen to accidentally leave your underwear in his chambers, he will hang onto them. He feels incredibly dirty to do so, and he feels even dirtier bringing them up to his nose when he’s alone, lying naked on his bed, teasing himself, but not dirty enough to not do it. He would never tell you, but you suspect something may be up, considering one evening you arrived at his chambers wearing one pair, then leaving the next day wearing entirely different ones, freshly washed. Neither you ever mention it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s very experienced, even though he could count the number of women he’s had sex with on one hand. He’s a quick learner and a generous lover by nature, though, so he is able to play you perfectly after just a while. His quick mind catalogues every reaction to every touch, and it enables him to do whatever he wants with you. If he wants to make you come in under a minute, he definitely will.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

He likes every position in which he is face to face with you, but he’s especially fond of you riding him, as he can watch your face while you take your pleasure the way you want it, and once you’re on the very edge, he grabs your hips hard to guide you up and down his cock at a brutal pace, chasing his own release. Before his leg is fully healed, there won’t be any sex while standing, for obvious reasons, but you needn’t despair, because the professor is perfectly able to bring you to completion in every other position.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He’s more on the serious side, though it doesn't mean he does not smile or laugh at all. He’s not going to be telling you jokes mid-coitus, but he will sometimes release a chuckle or a witty little comment when your reactions to his movements are particularly thunderous, or when a swear word or two roll out of your mouth unconsciously. 

“Heh, my my, that would’ve made a sailor blush, my sweet.”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Aesop is very hirsute. Particularly on his chest and stomach, his pubic area, his forearms and his legs. His back and bottom are mostly bare, save for a light peach fuzz. He keeps himself tidy, his pubes neatly trimmed regularly, even before you become intimate together, mainly because of hygiene and his own comfort. His body hair is dark and soft to the touch.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He spent a lot of time being emotionally unavailable, the few sexual encounters after his injury being anything but intimate. So when you appear in his life, he realises just how touch starved he is. He is very intimate, very contact focused and very intense. He needs to have you entirely, anything less is simply not enough. He often kisses during sex, and he gives you breathless little praises and compliments, which are rolling off his tongue nearly unconsciously.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Barely, both before and after entering a relationship with you. Before: as the afterglow passed, he was left bitter and sorrowful, because he was all alone, because his pleasure was brought by his own right hand as opposed to some beautiful witch who actually desired him. The only time he really allowed himself to indulge was after drinking a phial of Draught of Peace, before going to sleep. 

There is a bit of an increase in his indulging after you two are in a relationship but are not yet intimate. He doesn’t feel bitter after that, as he’s imagining you and keeps telling himself that his fantasies will get fulfilled later on in your relationship. They indeed do, and his masturbation rate goes down again.  

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He can get rather possessive and dominant, if you let him, marking your skin with his teeth  and being a little more rough. There can be hair pulling, maybe some light choking, a lot of biting. He’ll love it if you pull on his hair as well, or maybe slap him a little. He’s also quite fond of blindfolding you and tying you to the bed, edging you until you beg for him (you don’t even remember whether you’re begging for him to stop or continue at that point).

L = Location (favourite places to do the do)

The bed, most definitely, as he likes to nap for a bit after sex. Many other places are also good in this regard; the sofa, the armchair, Aesop’s office, the broom cupboard on the 5th floor where nobody ever goes… Bed is best, though, the other places make all kinds of kinks appear in his back. He prefers to make love to you in private, but is willing to take you almost anywhere with at least partial privacy, if you get your thrill from semi-public sex. He has no problem staying completely quiet.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Considering how intimacy and touch starved he is, it really doesn’t take a lot, given he is in the right mindset. There are days when he’s not feeling well, physically or emotionally, there are days when he’s simply too tired, and it’s just physical closeness and affection he craves on such days. He more than makes up for it when he’s feeling better though. Many things can get him in the mood; looking at your body, suggestive conversation, biting his lips, kissing his neck, etc. One of your 100% success rate working tricks is what you call simply ‘The Look’. Head a little tilted to the side, looking at him through your lashes, your lower lip between your teeth, your hands fidgeting. That look drives him wild.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation and public sex. 

He can get a little rough, you may leave his bed bruised, sore, and overstimulated, with visible bite marks, but you’ll do so being called ‘beautiful’, and ‘brilliant’ and ‘his good girl’. He’s never going to call you any insulting, derogatory terms, because that’s just not who he is. If you attempt to degrade him, it’ll be a major turn off. He wants you to slap his face, not his soul.

Semi-public sex is quite alright with him if he knows the two of you won’t get caught. He really doesn’t want to get caught; Firstly because he doesn’t want your honour to suffer because of it, and secondly because what you two have together is yours, and only yours. He’s a very private person who believes your lovemakings should be just that: private.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Aesop Sharp can go down on you like he’s getting paid for it. He’s very very skilled with his mouth, using everything, tongue, lips and teeth. He’s normally a little self-conscious about his slightly crooked teeth and large nose, but they both prove plenty useful when he’s using his mouth on you. He loves doing it, in all honesty, and he can go on doing it for hours. It’s absolutely no problem for him to finish with you, as he pushes you over the edge with his mouth, devouring you like a man starved. 

He likes receiving as much as any other fellow, praising you throughout, his fingers combing through your hair gently. He doesn’t push you unless you ask him to, doesn’t thrust up into your mouth unless he knows you can handle it. He’s not exactly small and the last thing he wants is to make you choke on him, or make you gag too much. Just imagining what could happen if he did make you gag too much is a little revolting. Talk about a moodkill.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Preferes to take his time, build your mutual pleasure steadily, let it fill you entirely and only then he picks up the pace considerably, the sudden change in speed making the inevitable climax more intense. However, as was said before, he’s a very skilled, generous lover and he absolutely can adapt to whichever mood either of you may have. There have been lovemakings so slow and sweet, that neither of you raise your voice even upon your orgasm, and there of course were couplings so hard and fast, you were close to fainting by the end of them. Aesop can do it all and he can do it really well.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Occasionally. He really likes to take his time, and he’s a major foreplay enthusiast, but there are days when one or both of you simply don’t have enough time, despite wanting to be intimate together. Aesop is effective, meticulous and passionate, like he is in everything he does. Both of you are able to reach your finish in a matter of minutes, giving each other blissed out smiles and kisses, hanging onto one another as if your lives depended on it. However, if there is even a small chance that Aesop would be able to have normal, unhurried sex with you if he only waits a few hours, he will forgo the quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He’s definitely willing to experiment, not judging anything until he’s tried it, unless it’s something very risky and potentially dangerous. That’s where he draws the line. It still leaves a lot of wonderful things for you to try and decide if it’s something you enjoy together or not. Temperature play with ice? Lovely, exciting, will do again. Wax play? Well, you were nearly certain you probably did it wrong, but you did it wrong enough for you to never want to try it again. Ouch.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has brilliant stamina and control, and can last for a long time, but he does have a longer recovery period, which he blames on his age. You disagree with the statement wholeheartedly, blaming it instead on the fact that he’s perfectly able to be at it for hours if he wants to. He can go for two quite lengthy, mind blowing rounds with a pause between, perhaps a little nap, too.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He does own a few fun things he likes to use. Velvety blindfolds and tapes to bind you, an assortment of objects to be used on you once you’ve been properly restrained, ranging from a fluffy feather to a (very carefully used) crop. They are used only occasionally, to spice things up a bit, for example after you’ve both had a long, difficult day. He’s been on the receiving end of these a couple of times, and is a little embarrassed to say how much he enjoyed it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He does enjoy a fair share of teasing, but he’s never mean in it. He may edge you a little if you’re both comfortable with it, he may miss your sweet spots on purpose in order to make your arousal grow just a little more, but if he sees you’re really desperate, if he knows you really need to come, he won’t dare rid you of the orgasm. He possesses a kind of physical empathy that lets him know when he can tease you and when he cannot.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is perfectly able to be nearly silent the entire time, ragged breathing his only sound, but he chooses not to when he knows your ears are the only ones that’ll hear him. He prefers to let his sounds flow off his lips naturally, and it’s something he likes in you as well. He doesn’t need you to scream or moan your lungs out to know you’re having a good time, so be natural, and if you feel a moan coming onto you, don’t stifle it and don’t exaggerate it. He won’t either. His sounds are usually little grunts and groans in the beginning, but will progressively turn into small moans once he’s getting close. The only sound that might be considered louder is the one he makes once he actually reaches his climax, and it’s the only one he’ll try to muffle a little, by kissing or biting you, out of slight self-consciousness.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One of Aesop’s fortes is his openness about sex itself - he’s no blushing virgin and he’s no vulgar sailor. Sex is just completely natural to him and he sees no reason not to call things the way they are, or even not to talk about sex at all. He knows Muggles think of sex as if it was something shameful and sinful, hiding behind colourful names for normal body parts, as opposed to what sex actually is - something natural, pleasant and beautiful.

It makes it really easy for you to discuss anything with him, maybe even learning some new things about your own body in the process, as he doesn’t blush or stutter or say ‘such matters are unfit to be discussed’, like Muggles might do. He knows his anatomy and he knows yours, and it's pleasant not to have to explain to him why you don’t want to be intimate this week.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is large. It should really be expected with the size of this man that his tools would be proportionally well endowed. Seven inches in length when erect, but he is girthy. Uncircumsized, with a large, dark pink tip, a few well defined veins. He definitely fills you to the brim, but can be a bit difficult to fellate. His left bollock hangs slightly lower than the other one and they are quite sensitive.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

After his injury and before entering a relationship with you? Nearly nonexistent. For a year after the injury, the pain was so bad, he couldn’t even get it up, which made him consider himself impotent, only adding salt to the wound. He regained his potency later on and engaged in a few one night stands, but his emotional/intimate unavailability made the sex feel tense and the orgasms barely worth the effort.

After becoming your partner, his sex drive rose considerably, as he allowed you in, allowed you to see his vulnerable side. Having the ability to be open with you sets his mind at ease and allows him to not only find himself craving your touch and the union of your bodies, but also lets him perform nearly as good as he would have performed before his injuries. Being a little older, his hormones a little calmer, he actually sometimes performs even better than he would in his younger years.

Now he has a very healthy appetite for sex, perhaps a little bigger than an average man of his age. He can control himself very well, his body mostly obedient unless there’s some un-ignorable stimulus right in front of him - he wouldn’t be able to force his erection down even if he was dead, that one time you came into his office wearing only your school robe and nothing else.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

At night he tends to fall asleep quite quickly after a nice lovemaking. He does clean the two of you up with a spell, he does talk to you and kiss you gently as you cuddle under the blanket, but he’s out like a light before long. He cuddles you out of his sleep, and sometimes snores. If you were to tell him that, though, he’d be very insistent that he does not, in fact, snore. He’s never snored in his entire life. 

i hope you liked it! you can also check it out on AO3, as well as all of my other works.

[alphabetbracket]

WELCOME TUMBLR TO THE ALPHABET BRACKET

In which I am doing a bracket competition to determine what the ultimate letter is because everyone else was holding bracket competitions and I want to too

Inspired by blogs like @adorable-ones-tournament @catgirlgames @bestfictionaldivorce @best-green-character @redandbluebracket @riordanversecharactertournament @fictional-father-figure-comp @battleofthepurplebitches @mermaidbracket @purplegreenbracket @the-ghost-games @clash-of-the-wizards @nichesexymanbloodbath @tentacletournament @internetsongshowdown @the-coolest-demon-bracket @the-nobody-tournament @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @topdisease @foundfamilyarena and so many more!!

This is a bracket with 32 competitions, including all 26 letters of the alphabet plus 3, $, @, *, ;, and ~ because I wanted to get to an even 32, and also I think it would be really funny if something that wasn't even a letter won the letter competition, below are the lineups of the polls and will be updated as winners move on! First and last round of polls will last a week and all other polls will last a day, this is for fun and any extreme hate in the comments/tags will not be tolerated but yeah! I will accept propaganda I am tagged in or is submitted to the blog via submitted posts or asks, but other than that, have fun!

Round 1:

Y vs $

O vs S

3 vs C

R vs E

@ vs ~

V vs U

A vs J

* vs M

K vs Q

W vs T

F vs X

N vs I

G vs B

P vs D

Z vs ;

L vs H

[kastillia]

my alphabetical list is complete

[neatokeanosocks]

hear me out: Arthur Read looks like Conan Edogawa's fursona