#alrighty thats actually it

[qierxing]

Sinkhole

Yan! Kalim Al-Asim x Reader

Halloween AU

CW/TW: Implied dub-con

The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions.

—

You hate it here.

“Just one night.” Your parents cajoled you. One night at the Asim’s, as close friends. You don’t want to be rude, do you?

The wine in your chalice reflects your annoyed countenance, before it’s muddled as it’s swirled around. The music that echoes in the grand hall is lively, as expected of a banquet hosted by the Asims. Dancers on the floor are swirling and flying to the music from the band, their shiny colorful fabrics weaving through the air like birds through the sky. The aroma of spices wafts through the air from the tables piled high with delicious foods and drinks. 

If you lost yourself in the atmosphere, you could almost say you were enjoying yourself. 

“[First]!” 

You bow your head and take a deep breath. A headache conveniently wracks through your forehead. You down your wine glass and grimace. Turning around with all traces of negative emotions wiped, you smile as genuinely as you can.

“Hey, Kalim.”

Strong warm arms encircle you and your vision is darkened momentarily as you process the smell of heady wine and incense as fur tickles your face. You put your arms around him awkwardly as social politeness dictates and pat his back, counting the seconds to when he finally lets go.

It’s a full ten seconds before the young werewolf pulls back to grin at you with shiny ruby eyes.

“It’s been so long since you visited! I’ve been sending so many letters and gifts but they must’ve not reached you.” Kalim pouts, ears lowered back like a puppy. You grit your teeth.

“Oh yeah, it might’ve gotten lost in the delivery.” You reply with a strained smile. He’s still holding onto you with his claws dug into the fabric of your silk kameez. Although he is a prestiged werewolf to be feared, at the moment, Kalim was nothing more than a clingy dog. 

A very annoying, clingy dog.

“Well, don’t let me take all your time,” you try to discreetly remove his hands from your shoulders, but they tighten, making you press your lips together. “I’m sure you have more important people to talk to than just lil ol’ me!”

“What are you saying? You’re the most important guest to me!” Kalim winds a tight arm around your waist much to your dismay, and starts urging you towards the center of the party. 

"I'm flattered, Kalim but–" Your words are drowned out by the sound of the sitar and drums as the guests cheer and clap to the beats. Kalim grins and winks at you, dragging you even closer to the center of the floor and horror dawns on you as you realize exactly what he's trying to do.

It's too late to pull out of his tight grip and he spins you as the roar of the crowd reaches new heights. Forced along, you’re chest to chest to Kalim as the melody guides you to spin and jump to the people’s claps. 

It feels like ages pass until the final beat signals the end of the composition and you’re all too ready to tear yourself from the commotion to slip away into a quiet hall. Before you can though, those familiar arms drag you in the opposite direction.

“That was so much fun, wasn’t it, [First]?” Kalim grins down at you as he ushers you to the food tables and your patience slips even more. 

“Ah, yes! I’m feeling tired at the moment, though–” 

“Come, come eat! Jamil helped make this curry, it’s the best!” 

It’s like it all goes in one fluffy ear and out. You grab another glass of wine as Kalim continues to ramble on while bracing yourself for another long, long night.

—

You’re not sure how you came to meet Kalim.

That was how insignificant meeting him affected your life. Sure, he was the only heir to the famous werewolf merchant clan, the Asims. He was definitely richer than anyone in the area, perhaps excluding his royal relatives. He may have had strong mana compared to no one within the Scalding Sands. 

But that was…it. 

His oblivious and kind natured attitude made you more annoyed than endeared, than anything. The way he always tried to be optimistic got on your nerves, especially during negotiations or Seven forbid, arguments. Forgiving his closest attendant for trying to kill him–you sometimes wonder what goes through his delusional mind.

Fate did not care about your anger though.

For some damn reason, he’s latched onto you, out of all the people that frequently visit the clan. Always trying to offer you honeyed dates and glittering gold bangles each time you have to make an appearance with your parents. You’ve tried nearly everything within civil reason to shake him off, to no avail.

And much to your chagrin, both your parents only coo and chuckle about how the two of you are such ‘love birds’ and how it’s ‘only a matter of time before there’s a wedding banquet held’. You’d violently protest if it wasn’t for the fact that the Asim family could easily put your family’s caravan business out of commission. So, instead you awkwardly smile and laugh along with the bad jokes.

You’re getting worried though. With each time you’re forced to greet Kalim, he’s only gotten bolder. His touches have started out ghost like to the tight tips of his sharpened claws wandering your hips and lower back. He so easily kisses your cheeks and hugs you whenever he gets the chance to. At this point, Kalim could probably demand you to sleep with him and you couldn’t refuse.

Which is why you begged your parents to be sent out on the next caravan expedition to the far east. They hemmed and hawwed for a long time: the east was so far from home and there were so many dangers along the main trade routes, even with added protection. But that's exactly why you wanted to go. A long expedition away from Kalim? It was just what you needed.

But you also fear becoming like him, the more time you spend with him. Surrounded by luxuries and comfort, not trying to see past the glittering sand and jewels of books and attendants. You wanted to learn with experience, negotiate using your own skills, and finally become the merchant you’ve always yearned to be. You wanted to be independent and grow.

That’s the only thought getting you through what you hoped to be the last time you have to see Kalim.

—

The taste of sour grapes lingers on your tongue when you wake up the next morning.

The feeling of nausea reminds you of your foolish decision to drink yourself to oblivion to get through the night. You make the usual futile promise to yourself to never drink that much again, and try to sit up.

A sharp pain splits your head and you groan, rubbing your forehead. However, as the ache dies down, another painful feeling arises from it. Did you sleep in the wrong way that made your neck ache?

You stumble like an undead person to a mirror and stare.

There’s a large bite mark on your neck. Several teeth marks indented, others scarred over and just barely bleeding, but fresh, nonetheless. It doesn’t hurt as bad as your hangover but even you can feel the amount of magic that just barely seeps from the wound. 

Your heart drops to your stomach.

A werewolf bite.

The door opens at your revelation and Kalim comes in, all beaming and smiles as if you weren’t this close to having a meltdown. His tail wags even harder as he takes you in, staring at your own reflection with your bite.

“You woke up! I’m glad, you really did have a lot to drink, haha!” He draws closer and wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into the bite. It takes everything in you not to scream as he kisses it ever so gently.

“I tried to be gentle, but a mating mark always hurts the first time,” he murmurs into your skin, “thankfully I think the wine helped with the pain!”

“Kalim…what…what is–”

“Isn’t this great? Now we can get married just like our parents wanted!” You’re left speechless as he looks up and stares at your reflection, striking ruby eyes meeting yours.

“I…I didn’t want this!” You push him off, taking him off guard.

It’s like you finally process that you’re not in your room, this was not your bed, and this most assuredly was not what you were supposed to be waking up to. You were supposed to be preparing for your expedition with your caravan not playing house with a deranged dog!

“I hate you Kalim Al-Asim,” you spit his full name with venom on your tongue, “I would never agree to be your mate! I don’t even love you!”

And for a full tense, ten seconds, he stares at you with blank eyes.

“Your hangover is really hitting you hard, huh?” You can only blink in disbelief as he smiles obliviously again. “We should get you some water and soup!”

He calls for someone, but your brain is too frazzled and desperate to try and comprehend any of this, that you try to run past Kalim.

You forgot that werewolves have sharp reflexes.

Kalim just laughs merrily as he scoops you up bridal style and walks towards the bed again, plopping you back within terribly soft blankets and pillows. Before you can even think of rolling off the mattress, he cages you in, humming as he encases your body with his, entwining hands and legs together.

“Now, my love, what jewelry do you want to wear for the wedding?”

[justtogetthrough]

Its wild that how I started my masters degree is not at all how I'm finishing it.

I went in with plans to be a master in how stress and self regulation affect learning

I'm coming out being a master in gender identity

Lmao

[sharlsworld]

soft lauch? - 𝐜𝐬𝟓𝟓 ✽

✿ carlos sainz x influencer!reader (obvi)

✿ y/n and carlos try to soft launch their relationship but his millennial mind can’t comprehend the idea

✰ i got a little crazy at the end guys so i sincerely apologize for that also there’s a age gap…i’m sorry i’m obsessed with them sue me

🝮🝮🝮

definitelynotyn

liked by joris__trouche and 113 others

definitelynotyn is it time to start soft launching?

carlossainz55 Mi corazón I need you to explain a soft launch to me again

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux everyone take a minute to pray for y/n

♥︎ by author

landonorris LONGGGGG over due

⤷ definitelynotyn we’ve just been waiting for the right time

francisca.cgomes soft launch us? fs

⤷ definitelynotyn let’s go over the captions

⤷ carlossainz55 Alrighty then!

⤷ pierregasly idc how many years go by i’ll never get used to this

⤷ definitelynotyn cry about it

⤷ pierregasly i will

charles_leclerc You would hope so after almost 4 years of dating

⤷ definitelynotyn it’s not our fault we can keep a secret sharl

⤷ charles_leclerc What’s that supposed to mean 🤨

lilymhe carlos sainz deserves to be locked up for going after my little kitten when she turned 18 😾

⤷ carlossainz55 Your just mad I got rizz

⤷ lilymhe obviously not that good if your girl is eating lunch with me rn

⤷ carlossainz55 @definitelynotyn Come home baby the kids miss you

⤷ definitelynotyn omw 😍

⤷ lilymhe damn…someone took my bitch

georgerussell63 Nah i’m waiting for the hard launch engagement post

⤷ carlossainz55 😏

alex_albon bros gonna catch a case 😭

⤷ danielricciardo He’s ready to risk it all

🝮

yn

liked by carlossainz55 and 6,924,085 others

yn so baby girl coded 🎀

charles_leclerc My eyes 😓

⤷ yn oh please spare me the dramatics

landonorris you two make me sick 🤢

⤷ yn all i’m seeing is a bunch of hating jealous bitches 🤧🥱

hoeforsainzzz guys…that watch looks pretty familiar

f1wags 👀👀👀

smoothoperator55 yk…i’ve spent some time memorizing the arms and hands of the f1 drivers and let me tell you…that’s gotta be carlos sainz 👁️👁️

ynstan4lyfe some of you guys need to except the fact that carlos and her are just friends and nothing more

carlossainz55 Lucky guy

this comment has been deleted

operatorsainz ik ya’ll seen that 🫣

danielricciardo How many times must I remind you that children are on this app

⤷ yn it’s not my fault if they see it the age requirement is 13 🤓

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by lewishamilton and 9,813,762 others

carlossainz55 4 years with you by my side ♥️

charles_leclerc Tell her to cut her claws it looks like you asked a bear to scratch your back

⤷ hoeforsainzzz HELLOOOO??????

carlossainzappendix HELLO THATS THE SAME PICTURE Y/N POSTED IN HER SOFT LAUNCH STHU

landonorris bless carlos and his millennial mind 😞

iliveforcarlossainz welp this definitely wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card

hearts4lando SHUT THE HELL UP 4 YEARS AND WE HAD NO CLUE?

flowersforyn sooo…we’re not gonna talk about the 8 year age gap?

⤷ alex_albon no his lawyers are on speed dial he was ready to risk it all

⤷ yn shut up albono

yn oh baby 😭

⤷ carlossainz55 Did I do it wrong?

⤷ yn yeah but it’s the thought that counts

maxverstappen1 Almost had it mate

alexandrasaintmleux whoever didn’t pray for y/n this is your fault

🝮

definitelynotyn

liked by schecoperez and 98 others

definitelynotyn why is bro tryna rizz me up

francisca.cgomes HAHAHA HES SO OLD WHO TYPES WITH AUTO CAPS

⤷ carlossainz55 Mature adults

⤷ definitelynotyn excuse me?

⤷ carlossainz55 I can never win

⤷ lilymhe HAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING UP HER SOFT LAUNCH

charles_leclerc He actually was sweating like a bitch when he realized he posted the same picture

lewishamilton Roscoe misses his godmother he’s in need for a visit

⤷ definitelynotyn stop i’m coming over tmr

oscarpiastri 29 year old spaniard seen running around paddock looking disheveled and almost in tears after the realization hit that he ruined his girlfriends soft launch

⤷ definitelynotyn thanks for the update osc

carlossainz55 Babe please i’m on my knees begging forgive me

⤷ landonorris stand up carlos

⤷ definitelynotyn don’t you have a race to lose or something?

⤷ landonorris maybe in a different lifetime…you aren’t my bully 😔

⤷ definitelynotyn oh go cry me a river

⤷ landonorris i will

alexandrasaintmleux i wish charles was this down bad for me

⤷ charles_leclerc Girl………..

⤷ yn is what you are? 🤣🤣🤣

⤷ charles_leclerc You are my biggest hater

⤷ definitelynotyn proudly

🝮

yn

liked by haileybieber and 10,172,253 others

yn ruined my soft launch but it’s ok cause the D is fire 🔥 yeah, i said it.

carlossainz55 Mi corazón es tuyo ♥️

⤷ yn ♥️

charles_leclerc You guys should pay for my therapy since i’ve spent the last 4 years sleeping in the room next to yours

⤷ carlossainz55 Get ear plugs

ynlos ik those bitches are like bunnies 🫣

hoeforsainzzz y/n giving us a little snack 😩

ynstan4lyfe i would like to take back what i said on her soft launch

danielricciardo Your pr managers are quaking with rage right now I know it

⤷ yn i was gonna say something but then i chose peace 😇

⤷ georgerussell63 That’s a first

⤷ yn alright bro your entire existence is a meme calm down 🤣🤣

⤷ georgerussell63 I can always count on you to make me cry

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by lissiemackintosh and 9,019,723 others

carlossainz55 Dibs

francisca.cgomes WOAH THERE BUDDY

arthur_leclerc that’s enough instagram for the day.

landonorris my poor eyes

yn best pillow 😇

⤷ carlossainz55 Just for you

ynissocutiepatootie her side profile 😍😍

ynsmywife carlos sainz can’t handle allat

carlando this altered my brain chemistry

carlitossainz brotha don’t know what to do with allat

charles_leclerc Every time I open this app man I can’t escape it 💔

⤷ yn is that a little bitch i hear?

⤷ charles_leclerc You wound me

maxverstappen1 Wasn’t prepared for that

carlossainz55 All you bitches can stay mad

🝮

yns.asskisser

liked by oscarpiastri and 84 others

yns.asskisser Date night with the missus

yn WOOF WOOF MEOW 😍😘😋👅🤤 SMASH SMASH SMASH YOU CAN HAVE IT ANY DAY ANY WHERE ANY TIME

⤷ yns.asskisser I love u mami

yn do you want head?

⤷ yns.asskisser Always baby 😘

⤷ charles_leclerc JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A PRIVATE ACCOUNT DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CANT SEE IT

landonorris aw you sick bastard

lilymhe what is it finna play…WOAHHHH

alexandrasaintmleux i miss the person i was 10 seconds ago

francisca.cgomes you and y/n put 50 shades of grey to SHAME

alex_albon so who’s coming to church with me and lily on sunday? 😇

⤷ pierregasly me and kika

⤷ charles_leclerc Me and alexandra

⤷ oscarpiastri me and lily

⤷ danielricciardo Me

⤷ schecoperez Me

⤷ maxverstappen1 Me

⤷ yukitsunoda0511 Me

⤷ lewishamilton Me and roscoe

⤷ georgerussell63 Me and carmen

⤷ landonorris me

⤷ joris__trouche me

⤷ lance_stroll me

⤷ logansargeant me

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial Me

⤷ yn ya’ll mad i’m getting my world rocked every night 🤪🤪

♥︎ by author

[alxclaremont]

the urge to text my ex….

[kaceythecrunch]

·:¨༺ The little things matter.. ·✮· C.S༻¨:·

Summary : Just a bunch of of fluff bc I love Chris<3. No but fr, just like a reg day with your boyfriend.

A/C : my bad for not posting lately. I'm lazy as fuck.

W/C : 1.6k+

Chris always believed he wasn’t a lovey type of guy. He didn’t think he would show much affection to his girlfriend. And even though we’re dating now, he still is in denial that he is an affectionate person. But I always tell him, the little things matter. 

Beep Beep Beep. 

Our alarm goes off. Practically pleading for us to start our day. I’ve already snoozed it 8 times. *Give me a break.* I turn to my boyfriend, make sure he wakes up. “Chris..It's already 9 am, we’ve got to start today.” He says in his morning voice, “nng…5 more minutes trust me.” He starts to pull on the blanket and snuggles into the sheets more. 

I stand up trying to start my day. Until my movement was interrupted by Chris pulling my arm. “Please, just stay in bed with me a little bit more.” Of course I give in and get closer to him. I can tell he is still sleepy, but he’s trying hard not to actually fall asleep again. He brings his hand to my face, gliding one of his fingers on my jawline. Then starting to play with my hair. “Chris..” I say, smiling at him. “Hmmm…” He mumbles. “We for real have to get up now. Today can’t be our lazy day,” I tell him. “Nng..why not.” He says, still sleepy. “Well because yesterday was our lazy day. We can’t be lazy two times in a row.” I explained to him. “Ugh..fine..” He gives in. 

He is still playing with my hair. “Like are you sure we can’t have two lazy days?” he looks at me, practically begging for another lazy day. “Yes, we can’t have two lazy days. Cmon, let's get up and do something with our lives, kay’?” I say, smiling at him, urging him to get up. I pull his arm and he moves slightly. “Fine…You’re like I love you. I would have not listened to you If I didn’t” I smile, “Okay cmon lets get ready.” 

I start to make my way into our bathroom. I grabbed my toothbrush, then he put the toothpaste on both and handed chris’ toothbrush to him. I turn on the buzzer and brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror, but the only thing I could focus on was him. His messy hair, the pjs. I look, and see that his eyes are focused on me. “Hey, you mind?” I told him. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M LITERALLY LOOKING AT MYSELF.” He yells out, slightly embarrassed. 

 

“Shush…you’re gonna wake up everyone else in the house. I was just kidding” I say, patting his back. “Like I've stated, I don’t think I'd do that lovey dovey bullshit.” he explains as he is rolling his eyes. I tell him, “It's the little things that matter.” he smiles. We finish brushing our teeth, and our morning routine.

I decided to drive both of us to a local coffee shop. “You’re like my passenger princess, huh?” I say, laughing at him. He looks at me, grossed out. “Okay, don’t call me your passenger princess. That's just weird.” I continue to laugh, “But you literally are my passenger princess. I have spare pepsi cans for you in the back of my car. I’m legit your sugar daddy, driving you to places. ” I look at him, raising one eyebrow, smirking. “I am seriously not a passenger princess, do not call me that.” He says, trying to act all serious. “Alrighty tough guy.” He scuffs in response. 

We finally arrived at the establishment. I turn to him as we are walking in, “What do you want?” He thinks, “Please waffles. The most superior break-y.” “Okay Okay.” I say, as we walk in and wait in line. He turns to be and looks at my hair. “You hair is fucked up.” I cover my head with my hands. “Wait, thats so embarrassing, how fucked up??” I say, kind of worried. “Don’t worry, lemme just help you.” He starts to fix the strands of hair that I missed getting ready this morning, and making sure that my hairline is straight. “Are you sure this is alright?” I double checked, “Yes, I’m sure it’s fixed.” He responds. I smile, knowing that he realizes how affectionate he actually is. 

I order, and we grab our food and sit at one of the tables. “Can I have a sip of your drink?” I ask, “fine, only a sip.” he responds. I smile and I start to pour the drink into my mouth, “I said a sip!!” He tried to take away the drink, but it ended up spilling all over my mouth. My hands are up, my jaw is dropped, and I just look at him in shock. “That’s your fault for not listening. You know Pepsi is my roman empire.” He says, though he still decides to grab a napkin and wipe the mess all over me. “You look disgusting right now.” 

He cups one of my cheeks with one hand, and with the other hand is cleaning off the wet stuff off my face. “Nng, chris..I’m an adult. I can clean myself up.” I told him. “I know but it's okay. You look like a mess right now.” I frown. “I can tell..” He smiles, “this is kind of funny.” He sits down and brings out his phone. “Say cheeseeee.” My eyes widen, “NOO CHRIS-” He snaps a picture, and turns his phone to me. “I’m keeping this picture forever.” I look, in shock. “That is probably the worst picture you could ever take of me..” he laughs. “I think this shows the real you.” I question, “the real me?” 

We finish, and walk out of the place. “So, where to?” He asks. “Can we pleaseee PLEASEEE go to the mall.” I beg. “I really need to buy more clothes. He agrees and we get on our way. 

We get to the mall, and of course it's busy. A bunch of teens, families, and other couples. There is one couple making out in the middle of the mall walkway. Chris turns and whisper’s to me, “how the fuck does someone have the confidence to do that?? Imagine I just stare hard, do you think they’d get uncomfortable?” I responded, “well obviously, you’re staring hard at them.” He explains, “but that's like what they want..I love you, but I would never show PDA like that.” I laugh, “well I’m hoping you never show PDA to me like that..” 

As we strolled around the store, I of course, picked up things that I wanted. I walked into a plushie store. I’ve been wanting to get a panda plushie for myself. I was roaming around the aisles looking for one, until I got distracted. Something caught my eyes. A deer plushie. “Awww, this plushie reminds me of chris. I’m definitely getting this one.” I pay, and walk out of the store and meet chris. I notice he also has a bag. I ask, . “Hey, what did you get?” he looks at my bag, “nothing special what about you?” I shrug. “Nothing special either.” 

We begin to walk around the mall again. He looks down. He noticed that my laces of my shoes are flapping around.  “Your shoes are untied, let me tie them for you.” He pulls me to the side and bends down to tie my shoes. “I’m actually so in love with you to the point, everytime your shoes are untied, I will be more than happy to tie your shoes. You know?” He says, “Aww, you’re so sweet!!” I pat his shoulders. “Ew, was that corny or was that good enough?” I smile, “No no no, it was super sweet. Trust me!” He stands up and smiles.

“I can’t take this.” I took out the deer plushie from the baggy, “I saw this, and it reminded me of you.” He smiles, slightly flushed. He takes the plushie. “YESS!! A deer plushie? Are you for real?” I smile, “yeah! For starters, your favorite animal is a deer. Secondly, you just remind me of a deer.” He smiles at me, “thank you so much..” He kissed my cheek. I'm surprised because Chris doesn’t like PDA. In fact, he hates PDA. So a kiss was surprising for him to do. He says, “The little things matter.” he continues, “In fact I also have something here too!” He pulls out a bear plushie. “YOU’RE UNREAL!! A BEAR PLUSHIE. I’m gonna marry you. Gift giving is my Roman empire!.” I give him a big hug. “I love you so much holy shit!!”

After the mall adventures, we get home and plop on the couch. “Chris, I had way too much junk food today…” He turns to me, “me too.” I lay my head back. “I think we should start eating better..ugh.” He kisses the tips of my nose, then my upper lips. “Today was a long day, hm?” He fully turns around, my back is facing him. He grabs my shoulders and gently rubs them. “Hmm..yeah.” I responded. “You know how you’re always saying that you aren’t an affectionate person?” Chris shakes his head. “Well, I think that you are the most affectionate person I know. I appreciate that, Chris. You make me really happy.” He smiles. “I don’t know. There is just something about you that makes me feel all sappy and corny. I mean, I guess that's just what love makes you feel. The little things matter.”

A/N : YOU MADE IT TO THE END?? WOOP WOOP. Anyways, I always make fanfics at 1am. I think that's the time I'm in my feels. Anyways.. If you enjoy my writing, you should totally like flood my inbox with more fanfic ideas. Im cooking up a nick sturniolo x male!reader right now. So yk.... Also, if you wanna be on the taglist, just reply<3!! Glad y'all enjoyed.!!

Taglist : @mayhem-72

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿

[sanjisblackasswife]

Telling OP Men More Dirty Pickup Lines (NSFW-ISH)

Part 1

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft. Ace, Sanji, Luffy, Zoro, Law,

Zoro: “Are You Claustrophobic? Because I wanna wrap my thighs around your face tonight”

“Well at least its not a stupid pickup line like last time.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

Zoro does have blush on his face at the thought of your thighs smothering him but it doesn’t stop his snarky remarks

“Matter of fact i am claustrophobic so you cant.”

“Spell it.”

“C.L.A…..”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“W….”

“Alrighty.”

Sanji: “I was ganna use a dirty pickup line, but youre dirty enough lets just fuck.”

You nearly gave the man a heart attack.

A stroke

A headache

“I-i-i-i um!!??”

His face is pink at how quick you are to just spill put what you want to him. And at first he didn’t believe you actually so he tried looking away but it wasn’t until you turned him around to face you and looked in his eyes so say

“Im serious Sanji…go lock the door.”

It was a dirty night for you both to say the least

Luffy: “Can tonight you show me what the D. In your name really means?”

I mean what the hell were you even going for with that one.

This mf dont even know what it stands for

“Well actually Y/N I think the D stands for D—“

“Luffy no thats not what i meant.”

At this point you just point at his dick again and he squints

“Why do you always say a riddle and then point at my shorts.”

“I’M POINTING AT YOUR DICK”

“CAN YOU SEE IT WHY ARE YOU POINTING AT IT?”

Law: “Are You a Doctor? I have a throbbing sensation between my legs that needs to be looked at.”

Hes so sick of you.

“Put some ice on it.”

“NO!”

“What do you want from me, Y/N.”

“I think we BOTH KNOW WHAT I WANT.”

“…”

“….”

“…”

“…”

“Pull out your penis.”

“Get the hell out!”

Ace: “Fuck me if I’m wrong, but fish can fly right?”

“Well in the United States in the Pacific in the Atlantic Coasts there are—-“

“Why the hell do you know that?”

“I stayed up with Marco watching an animal documentary.”

You both just stare at each other like this 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏼

Then all of a sudden your pick up line clicks

“OHHHH!!!! WAIT YOU WANTED TO HAVE SEX?!”

“ACE PLEASE!”

[luffyvace]

HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul

IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥

(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)

also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)

tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)

alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)

i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)

so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda

hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)

theres no need for cuddles during business

unless your like uvo and simply don’t care

then it annoys the crap out of him <3

it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public

will cuddle you in private tho

y’all usually sit there in silence or read together

he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him

he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before

if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back

because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?

im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still

he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay

he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want

your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying

although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you

even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well

btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful

aint no body wanna see allat-

he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how

otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can

whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine

i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way

he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything

just purely scarring them 😭

if you be firm about him stopping he will

unless it’s a big scary dog or smth

then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious

will scare people with said animal

for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)

i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want

if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it

but

if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him

seriously he sees no reason in it

once you do tho

at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other

as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair

he lets you play in his hair

don’t tell ANYONE

he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks

you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly

he’s all yours after that

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!

and yes he lets you play with it :)

you get to put it into all types of styles!!

especially since it’s a decent length!

not really interested in playing in your hair

he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair

if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well

thats one thing he will forever reciprocate

loves your humor

no matter the type

but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes

youve seen him smile before 💖

warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him

not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons

yall got bigger problems

dismisses anytime you degrade yourself

he be speaking facts

”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”

”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”

no? you goofy goober so why does it matter

don’t argue him on this

genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt

by him or someone else

dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun

even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye

real loyal partner

as loyal to you as he is the troupe

you and the troupe are his forever commitments

no matter what he could never stop loving you

you guys practically never argue

hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway

thing is he compensates with you💗

if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it

also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone

he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings

would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not

also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen

only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety

your safety is definitely on his priority list

truly cares about and loves you

enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM

thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡

[itsokjunii]

hey hey its ya boy juni

alrighty so uhhh this isnt really meant to alarm people at all, but more to warn others in the near future ig (plus i kinda suck at explaining so bare with me alr?? thisll all be explained from my experience, so please feel free to add on!! dwjjhwjwq)

okok so recently, there was this one miiblogger by the name of "IsaactheMii", who'd mostly post abt stuff like miitomo, miitopia, TL, etc etc.

so like. you may be thinking, "whar?? didn't isaac get deactivated??" thats exactly what im gonna cover dude!! this is to get some confusion out of the way :-D

recently, i made a post abt like, if you give a hc to my mii, i'll hc yours, and isaac decided to participate,, in a way that wasn't so uhhh sfw in a way?? heres one example lmao

i really don't think he was tryna be like, creepy in a way, or at least thats what i think?? idk idk but it kinda made me and the other dudes of miiblr uncomfortable, and just really, he'd always portray my mii as a bully and say sum transphobic stuff about him,, and this snapshot is just A PEBBLE compared to these nexts chats,, so come suffer with me!! :*]

cringe up ahead watch out

alright so uhh lets move to the discord chats shall we!!! im gonna say like, about 2 months ago?? damn not even a month actually,, isaac joined the miicord server, and like. he did small stuff like, bashing others opinions and spamming stuff, to starting fights with other members,, (sadly i dont have proof cuz hes banned but majority of miiiblr should know know what i mean yeah??)

eventually, the drama got so bad, to where isaac deactivated his acc as a whole, about a day ago. making a shitty apology post saying that he "messed up" with me and another user, just kind of guilt tripping all of us, only to piss off the majority of miiblr more lmao

eventually later, isaac got banned from miicord for whatever reason me thinks?? but i was told that he told everyone in there to oof themselves, which just led him to ban evading and making another account

eventually he didnt even last a day,, not even an hour,, and he just said some pretty nasty uhhh

stuff to miicord,,

unfortunately, this is all the snapshots i could get from my brilliant pal in crime, @wii-no-ma on discord. but i think yall get my point,, isaac has done some pretty nasty stuff in the past, from saying the most toe curling, eye widening, jaw dropping shit, (ohhh man cut that out,, that aints funny) to just straight up sending death threats to people bruh

anyway, thats all i really needed to post lol. obviously its nothing alarming to the point where miiblr is in danger and whatnot, but i decided to make this for future purposes in case isaac does decided to come back yk?? anyway this next bit is for isaac

ay isaac, if youre uhh reading this,, youre like. always allowed to rejoin miiblr, just please dont expect us to like, welcome you back in open arms or anything yk?? what you did and said was like. really arrogant and immature, but we cant stop you from rejoining miiblr. may things go the way you want in the future and that you'll get the help that you need soon. cheers.

big thanks to @wii-no-ma and @evanorasworld for the snapshots :]

[mstophattii]

a silly little theory about TF2 and its team's !!

Sooo, i was playin some TF2 yesterday, and i stopped to think about somethin: "how the fuck are there multiple of the same mercs?", "how the fuck are there 2 soldiers, both being on opposing teams?", "why the fuck does my team have 8 spies?" well, i think i've figured it out !! So, lets get into it!

THE CLONE THEORY SORTA SUCKS, ACTUALLY

look, i know clones can be cool, and they make sense in the world of TF2, but cmon, its kinda lame. But i got something better. There arent multiple of the same mercs in each team, or in opposing teams. Why? The game aint canon. I know this sounds wild, but i have proof. In the catch up comic, saxton hale himself refers to Team Fortress 2 as a dramatized version of the actual events of the gravel wars.

now, im not saying the mercs arent crazy or wacky, i do firmly believe they are indeed like that, but that means that shit like the unnarmed combat aint canon. And it also means that multiple of the same mercs dont necessarily exist, which means that it could be just our nine main boys fighting each other without like, 7 engineers on the same team. Alrighty, the clone theory's solved, right? Aw shit, it aint.

ABOUT THE TEAM SWAPS:

aw shit, the theory's over, right? Nuh uh. I have something that might explain it.

the mercs constantly switch teams.

i know, it sounds sorta nuts, BUT, i got a theory. RED and BLU constantly try to steal the other team's mercenaries. "the fuck you mean by that?" well, i sorta like to think that the RED mercs constantly receive letters from BLU saying that if they join BLU they'll get a salary three times bigger than the one that they get from RED. And the same thing applies for the mercs on BLU, but with letters coming from RED instead. So, we got that figured out, the mercs constantly switch teams because they want a higher salary.

Now lets address the elephant in the room, the "meet the team" trailers.

THE MEET THE TEAM VIDEOS ARE PROPAGANDA FOR THE PEOPLE OF BADWATER.

I mean, thats pretty much confirmed. Look at this:

but you may wonder: "then how the fuck does shit like meet the medic happen, cause like, yknow, that scene with a fucking horde of soldiers trynna kill medic and heavy" well, this may sound like a stretch, but since its propaganda, i believe engineer could have done some wacky shit to create shit like that. I've got 2 explanations:

explanation number 1: engineer did some wacky as fuck shenanigans to create those hordes of enemies.

as the title says, since engineer is a very, very, very smart little fella, he could've just done some wacky computer magic to create the soldiers present in meet the medic, and by wacky computer magic i mean he just edited the movie to include those soldiers with CGI or some shit like that. (i know tf2 happens in 1969, but if engineer can build a fucking teleporter then he can do CGI)

explanation number 2: ROBOTS !!!!!

this one is ten times more flawed than the first one, but since engi is a very smart little dwarf, he could've just built robots that would act and look like solly and would also try to kill medic and heavy.

THE RESPAWN ROOM:

so, this one is more up to your choice, but i do consider respawning canon. "how tho?" you might ask? I have 0 fucking clue, maybe some teleporter and australium shenanigans?? I dunno man. But thats up to ya!

THE END:

thank you so much for reading this! I spent like, an hour making this, and please forgive me for my shitty english, its not my first language. Please reblog (if you want, of course!), and if you have any criticism or questions just drop a comment talking about it and i'll try to answer it! thank you so much for reading!

[spiritual-messages]

Their feelings for you :

Hello guys merry christmas 🎅 I wish you all a very bright future and a great year ahead bless!

Todays reading is all about your person's feelings for you .. So I want you all think take a few deep breaths think about your person and then pick a pile that attracts you the most bless here's my masterlist

The pictures aren't mine and are taken from pinterest 🤍 credit it the ownersss

Pile 1 ----- pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 1

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 1 welcome to your reading so the energy feels so warm and comforting here wowww so goood..so guys i heard " colleague " " guide " "soulmate" right after I connected... So lemme say that this person is your soulmate .. You have lived lives with them .. And this person is connected deeply with u .. And you both have influence over each other's lives and emotions .. Oohlalala

Their Feelings -

So this person feels like you are their soulmate .. Yes they are into spirituality and yess they know they have a connection with you that"s outta this material world ( lol I remembered the iconic MaTeRiAl GoWrL ) they feel like they are in perfect harmony .. And in perfect balance when they are with you.. This could also mean that you both guys are quite opposite but still feel balanced and listened when you are with each other .. This person feels veryyy comfortable sharing their emotions with you . they feel like they can trust you with everything (so precious ) they feel like you will always support them and give them honest opinions if they asked you about smth . ( they think u are very blunt that's what they find attractive they hate sugar coated ppl ) so guys this person and you might have an age gap possibly 2-5 years thats what im seeing and if they are the older one here .. They wanna protect you and guide you through out the life ... So they are actually not expressing their love for you right now .. Becz they think its not the right time ? (🤨 they tryin to get u outta your shell ? )

So this person has these oh so cheesy (jk jk lol) nahh they have romantic feelings for you tho they feel like you both can create your own little fairytale ( ngl u guys are cute haha dreamy and cute .. I see Pisces energyyy ) you guys could be from diffrent places mhm and met through work ( complicated i see.. Love at first sight for some ) guys this person loves you so much and they even planned their future with you ... they wanna travel with you haha could love museums this person is into art .. Like painting .. Damn... They are also veryyy romantic .. Might be into poetry wooho cool ...

Rn I see that they are trying to open you up like they wanna know how you feel about them .. Wanna discover your emotions till then they'll admire you from far ( aww poor guy/girl ) they want you to be fully comfortable with them before they confess their feelings haha ..

Possible zodiac - Pisces ,cancer and scorpio ( coming strong .. Water signs are everywhere haha bless ) taurus and virgo and a little bit of leo ( hey fellowsss )

Thats all for today .. Hope it resonated

Bless take care of yourself I wish you everything besttt

merry christmas

Pile 2

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 2 ... So guys ... For some of you .. This person is from past .. Could be your first love ( this is only for a few of you if you dont want you past come back its okay remember you create your own reality so let this info slide as its general reading alright Bless!) Or I see you spent past lives with this person.. So, This person could be your first love .. ( or you are this person's first love haha ) I see you guys met online ( are u asking about an ex ? This is your reading then)

Feelings :

So guys these person has soooo much romantic feelings for you .. They feel like some teenager around you like they get so shy around you *nervous laugh* lol ( now it makes sense tho .. Now i can finally understand why first love was coming so strong ) you have an effect on them .. They get goosebumps when they maintain eyeconatct with you and butterflies in the stomach if you ever stand close by ... Guys this person has separation anxiety ( awww idk for some reason im like " awww " I just can't help tho they are too cute ) so they hate having arguments with you they hate seeing you angry .. Like they feel that their whole world burnt down into ashes right infront of their eyes when u guys fight .. Guys this person wants to have a family with you. . like they wanna have children with you.. They want you as their wife/husband as soon as possible .. They wanna quit everything and just focus on you guysss this person is obsessed with you but in a healthy way tho. . they hate being away from you ... And they feel like they can stare at you 24/7 (wow completely melted bruh) this persons feels so happy with you .. They feel like you are their cute teddy bear that they can hug all day without getting tired ( ahhhh typa boy who would wake u up with kisses and buy you chocolates when u r on ur periods so affectionateeehhhh ) so guys this persons might talk alot around you or send u alot of texts .. They feel like you are the most precious thing in this world (which is a fact )

Possible zodiac :

Cancer , Pisces , scorpio , leo( heyyya felllows haha thats why the energy is so romantic mhmmm) , aries , virgo ( earthy earthy so caringgh) , aquarius ( cute little aliens )

So these could be their or your's sun , moon , rising or venus ,bless!

Bless ! I wish you everything best! Take care of your self! 🦋❤️

Merry christmas! ❤️💚

Pile 3 :

This person and their energy :

Alright pileee 3 welcome to your reading so the energy is heavy and mature here .👀 unlike the other two piles which were dreamy and all lovey dovey.. I feel more realistic here .. So your person is someone very mature and rational .. They might have a very serious aura and a rbf .. They are really mysteries and secretive .. They hate showing emotions tho this might be someone who's older than you or more mature orrr someone who's senior .. Someone on higher rank .. This person wasn't that lucky with love before which left them deep cuts and cracks on their heart which needs to be healed but instead of healing them they build walls around their heart and created boundaries .. They have trust issues and problem opening up to ppl 👀 also they are too calm that its annoying like nothing effects them ( well atleast thats what they show ahahaha after all they are also a human tho)

Their feelings :

So guys right now i see them confused .. Like they are really confused that why you wanna know them and why are you so nice to them .. (Hmm this guys is so extra .. Calm that ass down muhfakuh ) so they defiantly feel like you are someone magical .. So optimistic and nice always so kind ..( well they are suspicious ngl) they feel like you aren't that nice that you show...they often think " can someone be this perfect ? " they feel like you are with them just for the money they have ( oh common bitch release that past for fuck's sake ) they feel lile they shouldn't fall for you .. They are trying so hard to not fall in love but .. Damn ( finally bruhhh) i see that there are some romantic feelings coming .. The wheel turns and now they feel so comfortable with you. this got them thinkin " probably she/he is perfect .. She isn't like here/him (their ex) " I see them slowly letting their guard down around you .. Seeing a new life and journey with you which seems really exciting but again they are insecure and doubt full " what if she cheated .. What if I got my heart broken again "/( the pas was really bad and they dont wanna feel broken again guys .. They are Still confused if they should or shouldn't fall for you tho) they are trying to heal their past first .. I see you guys are probably in separation rn . becz this person is trying to heal .. Trying to get their mind clear about you ... They wanna heal from past first they are releasing their ex so they can be ready for a new loving relation with you .. And soon they will give you a chance .

Possible zodiac :

Capricorn ( ngl I knew it ) , virgo( not even surprised) , scorpio ( ha! Caught yaaaa) , aries , leo , sag

Thats all for today pile 3! LTake care of yourself I wish you everything best haha bless

Merry christmas ❤️💚( sorry only one song cameee forgive me pileee 3🥺)

That's all for today guysss I hope it resonated 🤞🤍... I wish you all a merry christmas .. Take care of yourself and spend time with your familyyy .. I wish you a great year

Take caree!

Bless

[tibby-art]

hello there! i wanna make an animatic based off you and something you said in your most recent video! which is awesome by the way,, and i was wonderring would you be okay with me including blood/gore/canabalism in it if on the off chance i actually fucking do it lol, i want to since ooooo vex thats coool and also it fits the song i wanna use very much alrighty thank you goobye!

oooh?! i would absolutely love to see it if you do that :D thank you!!

[cannedbabs]

I love your writing so much!!!! Like everything always comes out so perfect and your Jack?? What I aim to write him like ;-; but nah, if you are taking lil writing requests (no pressure if you aren't) what do you think Jack be like with a more 'romantic' person? Like wanting to hold hands and cuddle (within reason-) and have cute dates and is just overall very heart eyes for him?

THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST!!! It makes me rly happy that I can give content, BUT YOU CAN WRITE HIM JUST AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER DW‼️ buuuut Jack x Romantic partner <3 alrighty alrighty!!! I dont write much for romantic n hut lets see >:)

•He isn’t very touchy, and you’d have to get past a very thick barrier to even remotely allow you, but after You did if you reached and held onto his hand (more Like fingers, big hand) he wouldn’t exactly hold it back but he wouldn’t shake you off!

•His bed at home would be HUGE honestly, and he gives me Princess and the pea vibes of knowing if anything was off (side note) but the cutest image of you shifting and spooning him (despite not being able to wrap your arms around him) makes me happy. He either just allows you to or he shifts and actually cuddles you back… depends on how sleepy he is 🤭

•He would’ve gotten used to you being overly touchy, so you would’ve desensitized him to it. He regularly, begrudgingly, allows you to sit on your lap while he’s at his office desk, a hand on the small of your back as he writes. A knock at the door and he’s pushing you off though, he cant be seen being soft!

•He does not like going out and going on dates, the public eye can see him and he has a reputation to uphold! But if you made him dinner, or breakfast in bed (stuff at home) he’ll accept it… But its a hard no for going out to eat.

•While you have heart eyes for him he Doesnt necessarily return the affections, if anything he does a little, but thats about it. He also doesnt understand why you do, but its none of his business to stop your adoration. Though this doesn’t mean he wont do minuscule things from time to time… even small bouts of considering you is his love language(?)

•Kisses are a very hit or miss. He only hums at small kisses on the cheeks from you, or gives you glances. Though he would willingly kiss you back given the right mood (or, like stated, if he was sleepy… morning and night kisses for the win). He just leans and softly kisses your head from time to time.

•Anything he’d do that would be rough would be to mostly catch you off guard, hoping to satisfy your romantic needs for a few hours so you simply left him alone. A hard kiss to the lips thats admittedly a little heated? He’s hoping to render you speechless just so he can go about his morning undisturbed (he doesn’t dislike your presence, but that isn’t to say he hates his alone time either).

Im so sorry my Jack is always so iffy with affection 😭 its just how I personally view him!! Trying to open up that avenue a lil bit more!! So I hope this satisfies!! ❤️❤️❤️

[hellhound5925]

Alrighty, so as I have mentioned before, I am switching gears to write a Mandalorian fic. I have finished what I’m calling the Prologue for now (idk if I really like that) but its a little story from a time before the actual fic itself takes place. I hope you enjoy! There will be plenty more Din/Raven where this came from and don’t worry I’ll still write for Hunter from time to time!

Welcome to,

Cyare Verd *Beloved Warrior* The Mandalorian Edition (I know, I know, I’m not original but I suck at titles)

Prologue - The Encounter

Summary:

This is setting up a little backstory for the beginning of my new fic. There will be fun mood boards for each chapter created my both myself and my wonder friend @lune-de-miel-au-paradis who is hella talented! (Thanks girl 💖) I hope you enjoy and be on the look out for Chapters going forward! If this is something you would like to be tagged in please drop a comment, send me an ask, send a message, whatever fits your fancy 😊 I promise I’ll shut up and we get right to it!

Warnings:

Always gunna put 18+, violence and thats bout it for now. Smut will be in the actually fic itself but I’ll post the warning accordingly. Also, If I miss something I’m sorry, I’m not very good at warnings 😅 There will be Mando’a but ya girl always provides a translation so have no fear.

————

The entire time I've been looking for this bounty, someone else is a few steps behind me. How do I know? Well I backtracked and paid a bar keep to get ahold of me with any information about someone asking about the individual I had. The Twi-Lek contacted me only hours later with a description. She sounded worried but not for me when she said "All I know is he looked just like you." Two Mandalorians hunting the same bounty? Strange but not completely out of the ordinary. I mean a lot of our people resorted to bounty hunting, with our skill sets and love for getting into fights makes us the best at the job. I decided I would make my way back and tail him for a bit, seeing if he took the bait. Thanks to my cunning wit he did.

    This must be the one the barkeep was talking about - I think to myself. A Mandalorian man walks a few paces ahead of me covered in mismatched pieces of armor topped off with a shiny chrome helmet. I chuckle to myself, knowing that because of my cloak he won't know who or what I am. He stops momentarily like he's aware of my presence but little does he know, I'm a master of hiding in the shadows. Spinning around on his heel he walks my direction, hand hovering over his side arm. I take the opportunity to slip further into the dark, down an alley. He stops in almost the exact spot I was only moments ago. Now that he's closer I can now get a good look at his stature, he's taller than me and definitely more muscular.

    His shiny helmeted head slowly looks my way down the alley - so he's smart...I'll give him that. Taking a few cautious steps, he makes his way towards me. I climb up onto the rooftop of the short building next to me. He should paint that armor, he sticks out like a Bantha in the ocean of sand on Tatooine. Smirking to myself I wait until he is directly below me before clearing my throat. He immediately looks up, drawing his blaster taking a shot at me. Crossing both vambraces in front of me, the bolt pings off my armor, breaking the cold dark silence of the night with a loud crack.

    As if time stood still, I jump down in front of him and one hand connects with the elbow of his outstretched arm causing it to bend, pointing his blaster away from me. Using my other hand, I free the blaster from his grip sending it somewhere into the shadows. He counters with a left hook which passes over my head as I duck, rolling back into the shadows. He loses track of me and frantically spins around preparing for my next move.

    I slink around him in the darkness just out of his view, like a predator circling its prey. He reaches up in a slow careful movement, for his vambrace likely to change the setting on his HUD - I would do the same. To stop him, I crouch and in one swift movement of my foot I catch his ankle, pulling hard, and sending him to the ground face first with a grunt. Standing to my full height, I can't help the chuckle that escapes watching the large man hit the ground by my hand...or foot.

    His head snaps in my direction and I'm immediately full of regret. Using his whip cord, he grabs my leg pulling me flat on my back into the light. I hit the ground so hard it knocked the wind out of me. Next thing I know, he's standing over me staring down at me through his visor. His body language shifts and I realize why, my hood fell while I was being pulled to the ground exposing my helmeted head. Slamming my fist and throwing my head back on the ground, a string of curses in Mando'a leave my lips. When I pick my head back up, he is still standing there staring down at me, the T-snapped visor is almost menacing at this angle.

"You could at least help a girl up" my sassy tone, exaggerated by my helmets modulator.

    He offers me a hand, I take it and he pulls me to my feet.

"I'm sorry if I had known—"

"You weren't supposed to" I cut him off, my tone annoyed "Kinda the point of the hood." I'm not sure what annoys me more, his reaction or the fact he actually got one over on me. I brush myself off and straighten out my Kama. Looking up, I realize he is watching my every move.

I break the silence, getting right to the point "So you've been tracking me? Or my bounty at least. Why?"

"Quite honestly, I didn't know I was tracking you. You cover your tracks well." He compliments me and for a moment my pride swells. I didn't work this hard to become the expert I am just to have some di'kut (fool) ruin it. He pulls out a bounty puck from his pocket, showing it to me. It displays the face of the same man I'm hunting.

"Well I hate to break it to you, but I was here first." I say, poking him square in the chest plate. Now with how close we are and standing still, I can see how worn his armor is. It probably belonged to a family member of his or something. Although with the shiny shoulder pauldron and helmet, it makes me wonder if he's a foundling. They often use whatever armor they can find or are given until they can make their own. These days however, beskar is quite difficult to come by.

His voice pulls me from my thoughts, "How about we work together. Share the profits?"

I immediately scoff, crossing my arms over my chest and shifting my weight to one leg. "I don't think so. I work alone. Plus I'd be taking a pay cut."

"Your loss" He says monotone before turning to pick his blaster up before walking away.

    I'm taken aback by his comment. Does he really think he's better than me? One of my biggest downfalls is people doubting me just because I'm a woman.

"You know...the last man to doubt me ended up with a broken nose and stitches."

He continues walking as if he didn't hear me, but I know he did. "Te jatne beroya kelir parjir (may the best bounty hunter win)" I whisper under my breath. Flipping my hood back over my head, I storm off in the opposite direction he went.

    Cursing to myself in my native tongue, I take a few moments to collect myself from the encounter and get back to work. Before the Twi-lek had gotten a hold of me about my tail, I had tracked the bounty to a small village a few kicks due north. It's quite a distance to walk but I really don't feel the need to take my ship there. Thankfully I've stashed my speeder bike on board, it makes for tight living quarters but it works I guess.

    Once I reach my ship, I give the bike a quick once over before dragging it down the ramp. Giving it a quick start, it seems to be running fine. I hop on and speed off towards the small down, in hopes my counterpart hasn't already caught on. Luckily for me, I paid the Twi-lek a little extra to send him astray.

———

    By the time I make it to the village, the early morning sun is beginning to brighten the sky. The village also appears to be waking up which is perfect. A few people are milling around giving me strange looks and at first they are stand offish - which really is not a surprise to me...people seem to be afraid of Mandalorians. I approach an older woman who doesn't seem to be bothered by my presence.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but I'm looking for someone and was wondering if you might help me?"

She doesn't stop what she's doing and speaks quietly, "Not here...follow me." She turns and heads between two of the small huts.

Leading me into a small hut that appears to be some kind of storage shed, she stops. "I figured it was better we talk here."

I cock my head at her. "The locals around here are uneasy about people asking questions. I think I know exactly who you are looking for. You see there have been mercenaries lurking around."

I don't move or say anything and she continues, "You look like a capable warrior....get rid of them." She must sense that I'm eyeing her.

"You must be wondering why I would trust some stranger...I've heard the stories about Mandalorians...it will be easy work for you and solve our problem."

I offer her a curt nod, "Where can I find them?"

———

    Having followed the exact directions the old woman gave me which lead me to a camp just east of the village. I find a good scouting spot and perch myself at the top of a hill near some brush. Using my HUD's thermal scan, I get a read on how many are down there - 12...I've taken out worse...Leaving my perch, I walk towards their camp and they do exactly as I had expected. A group of 2 meet me at the road while 2 others stand guard.

"You lost?" One of them asks. I tilt my visor between the four of them, calculating my move depending on how this conversation goes.

"I asked you a question."

"I heard you" I sass.

Scoffing the man turns to the others laughing.

"Did I say something funny?" I snap, starting to lose my patience.

"This one seems to be a little slow" another one says, his tone mocking me.

"You've got quite the mouth on you, young lady" The first man says walking a circle around me checking out my armor.

I'd take him out right there but there's always a bigger fish. Not only that, he'll get what he deserves,

"No. I'm not lost. I'd like to speak to the one in charge, since it's clearly not you."

After he finishes his circle he stops in front of me with a disgusted look on his face, "Follow me." He leads me into the camp with the others trailing behind.

Stopping at the fire, and the man turns to me "Wait here." He disappears into their ship.

    Looking over my shoulder, I make a mental note of where the other 3 are standing behind me. As I look around more come out of the woodwork, coming to a grand total of 10 - someone's paranoid and rightfully so. Just then the man from earlier appears followed by 2 more - one wearing the face of the man on my puck.

"I hear you asked to speak with me" he says, voice booming through the camp.

"There's a bounty out for you. I'm here to collect" my tone is flat, this group seems like one that would get spurred on by irritation.

The bounty takes out a blade and starts walking towards me laughing "Darling..." He starts and drags the flat side of the blade across my chest, to my shoulder, and around my back.

"Wonder how much we could get for armor like that? What'd ya think boys?" There's a series of whoops and hollers.

He stops dragging the blade and leans in to whisper, "or maybe I'll just keep it as a trophy."

I smirk to myself, "Be careful what you wish for" venom dripping from my words.

Sliding my hands down towards my blasters, I get ready to draw them. Just as I'm about to, their leader takes the knife and puts it to my throat, getting in close, "I don't think so."

    Kneeing him in the crotch he drops to the ground in pain. Seconds after blaster fire begins to ping off my armor. I let out a low growl that sounded quite feral through my modulator. A few of the mercs begin to drop but not by my hand, blaster fire from an unknown source rings out through the air. The men in front of me look around in confusion and I take the opportunity to quickly restrain my bounty and knock him out. I then draw my blaster firing at the 3 closest to me and their bodies slump to the ground. Bending over I grab the blade - that was previously dragged across my armor - and send it flying through the air before burying itself into the chest of the man taunting me earlier.

    Getting both myself and my bounty to cover, I make mental note of the direction the blaster fire comes from. Once I figure out where they are, I pick the bounty up - who thankfully is a small human man - throwing him over my shoulder, and racing to my speeder. Putting as much distance between me and the sound of the fight behind me as fast as I can.

    Once I get there, I quickly throw him on before starting it up and jumping on myself. A blaster bolt flys over my head and a familiar modulated voice yells something that I can't quite hear over the speeder's engine. Annoyed, I whip my helmeted head around, to see the Mandalorian from last night running in my direction. With a smirk plastered on my face, I speed off towards my ship. Getting away with the bounty we both wanted.

"I guess we know who the better bounty hunter is."

Tags: @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter

@savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

[sampsonstorm-critical]

Alrighty then...

So i watched the new episode of Helluva Boss , Oops.

AND...i also read alot of the critiques. I agree with most of them concidering they all make the same point, but one point i dpnt see mentioned a ton, is the fast that Ozzie is infantilizing Fizzerolli, saying hes never allowed to leave again and blah blah blah.

Fizz is written to be a grown man, and a grown man who is disabled, and of the lower class like Blitz. So this is especially bad when Ozzie, a man of power is telling Fizz, "oh youre never leaving again".

Let me tell you why: Ozzie is a King, (i do believe) not a prince. He has MORE power than Stolas. Fizz is a disabled lower class man. Vivianne is trying to portry this as "oh hes just twying to pwotect him OWO" NO. No. No. Hell No. You can not portray a relationship like that as wholesome. You cant. Because its actually a form of hidden abuse. When an abuser controls you by Love Bombing. Ozzie is also making Fizz's limbs! He can fully retract that! Therfore he holds ultimate control over Fizz, while Fizz is also in a vulnerable position after a scathing traumatic event.

Now dont get me wrong. I see what was perhapse the intended vision for the couple, but its been done all wrong. As far as writting goes. Ozzie is trying to control Fizz, granted not violently, but by saying or implying "Babe im just trying to protect you." now if this is adressed and maturely handled, then great, but if not, then Aiiiiiyy eeeeeee, yikes.

So yeah. Thats my one note critique on that slice of the episode.

[desiredcaramellatte]

Could you do some licorice headcanons? (Licorice x soft! reader headcanons if you've done general ones already)

Uhhh I genuinely don’t know if I’ve done gen Licorice hcs yet ngl

I’ll just do general. Hope you enjoy!

Licorice x Reader

He’s a little emo edge boy. If MCR existed he would totally have posters of them on his wall just for show. Tbh he’d probably secretly listen to Katy Perry or Beyonce. But uhh that’s off topic.

Super edgy around you at first. He’s just trying to show how cool and misunderstood he is. Actually a very needy and clingy guy though fr.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone!?” “Alrighty then.” “WAIT THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT GET BACK HERE—“

Very jealous boy. Like if he sees you pet one of the cake hounds running around he will be in such a pouty mood. He doesn’t mind dogs but if they steal your attention then he hates them for the rest of the day.

Actually works a lot. Whatever time you do spend with him will probably be shared with him reading necromancy books and trying to reanimate the dead and summon creatures.

If you ask him then he can probably spare an hour or two without his work. If he goes any more than a few hours and he’ll get really antsy though.

He doesn’t sleep a bunch or eat a lot due to his schedule and just general displeasure in bodily necessities and functions. He will get on to you if you stay up a little too late or smth though, he’s a walking tyrant like that.

If your clothing ever gets ripped or anything he’s actually very good at sewing. His cloak is mainly for the grunge emo aesthetic. He can actually make whole outfits with some time and materials. He likes to randomly knit things for you too. Wear things he made you in public and he’ll be so embarrassed but also so happy.

He generally isn’t used to physical touch or compliments or basically anyone being remotely nice to him so he’ll practically melt at literally any sort of praise or affection. Like you can literally just put your hand on top of his and the blush would be prominent. God forbid a kiss.

He tries to return his affection to you. His main love language is gift giving… expect a lot of bones or reanimated dead animals that you like or just weird little trinket and odds and ends. Also rocks. He has an odd habit of giving you any rocks he likes.

Any lingering forms of physical contact (IE hugging or cuddling or hand holding or even just sitting close to one another) is likely to be interrupted by Bat-Cat plopping their way in between you two in pursuit of attention. Licorice has learned to accept this, though he still gets jealous whenever you give the little guy too much attention.

[pebiejeebies]

And the moment you’ve all been waiting for. A CABLOON SCREENSHOT COLLECTION!

(Okay but seriously, even if you don’t like this ship, give me a chance, PLEASE— There’s so much things I didn’t expect from them both and.. just.. trust me <3)/gen /srs /nf

Now, if you’re easily overwhelmed by spamming letters or long paragraphs, this is a BIG WARNING!! Ilysm btw/p /p <3

Please don’t attack/harass me or anyone that likes this ship, if you like nickloon or any other ship with balloon, don’t hurt others for it.

Now. Let’s begin. A cabloon rarepair analysis, made by me, for my hyper fixated self and @saltythesaltshakerfrfr (Cause ur a cabloonie too!! :D)

First time they see each other/stand beside each other

E7! At exactly… *looks at video* 2:57!

The new pinkers!!

How ironic? Cabby and Balloon look concerningly at the silly spoon! Pretty cute if I do say so myself <3

And let’s not mention that they’re standing beside each other <33

and WOAH! The final three first meeting in the same team?! Pretty cool if I do say so myself.

“Uhhh.. mile high pie..?” — Clover

LOOK LOOK!! THEY BOTH HAVE A CONCERNED LOOK! THE SAME EYEBROW AND REACTION WHEN THEY WERE SHOCKED!! AAAAHHHH MY BELOVEDS <33 

ARMS RAISED, AND CONCERNED LOOK!! WOOWJAJJSJHEHH

(It’s close enough in my eyes okay? Plus,, they all have completely different reactions, and they were the closest <33)

also yinyang and goo my beloveds omfg <33

Wait, I didn’t mention that I’d screenshot EVERY SINGLE TIME THEYRE BESIDE EACH OTHER? oh I’m DESPERATE. (Sigh, past me, thinking that these two wouldn’t have that much between them.. hmm)

Call me ridiculous but these two are my babies <33 and I’ll capture every single moment they walk, talk, and laugh with each other <3

(At least enough to please my stupid hyper fixation on them)

JUST. LOOK AT THEIR REACTION WHEN THEY SEE SILVER SPOON, LITERALLY A COPY AND PASTE

SHARING THE SAME HATE TOWARDS SILVER SPOON, AAAANND HAVING THE SAME FACE AGAIN?! SOULMATES SOULMATES SOULMATESSSSS!!! YOU CANT PROVE ME WRONG!!

Don’t forget to mention their first face to face interaction, and OF COURSE it had to be the flower incident 😭‼️‼️

You say you’re angry Cabby, but why do I see you beside him so much..?/vpos

They love each other guys, you just don’t understand 

You guys just don’t see it yet, it will start showing up with patience. Wait for it.

No.. this.. ugh, GIVE ME A CHANCE I PROMISE!!

(Man I hate this episode so much,, my heart still aches from cabby’s reaction to this.. I feel ya girlie, been there, done that..)

IM NOT DELUSIONAL!! HE WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY ONE WHO STOOD UP FOR HER!! IM NORMAL GUYS AAAAHH!!

Test Tube you’re so frustrating this episode but I’m happy you’re changed

Look at him :( he feels so bad for her 😭‼️‼️

Haha taking a small break to see how much Me and Cabby act, and me reading people by their flaws was always the reason I missed out on so many friendships, and seeing Cabby struggle and get tips from Test Tube was really heartwarming to me (Do keep in mind, I literally kin Cabby)

And woah woah woah! Found out that Test Tube could be mouth wash! E10! At 18:00 <3

Alrighty let’s get back on track! (Ironic, past me, watching a whole episode with no interaction between them was actually unbearable)

Okay I’m desperate again,, does this count as anything? Not much, but seeing the final four together is pretty cool (E12)

SOULMATES!! I TELL YOU!! THATS THE.. 3RD TIME! THEY STILL HAVE THE SAME FACE!! THEYRE SOULMATES! ITS OFFICIAL!! (Oops, didn’t notice bot in this when I wrote this 😞 do I still count it..? Eh—)

(Part 2 here)